#I always gotta go set up a pregame scene..

[hereliesbitches--me]

@quantahope liked for  a starter!

She checked the file again.   Once, twice. Three times to be sure.

To be certain of every detail. She wouldn’t make the same mistake again.  Mistakes cause accidents. Accidents caused lives. And she couldn’t afford to lose another.        It occurred to Rosie that she hadn’t checked twice the last time.              Perhaps if she had been more attentive, Rocky would still be alive.

She made a face at the thought. her lips pulling into a bitter frown as she stared at the compiled papers in her hands.    ‘ Ya makin’ dat face again, cat.’ Rosie didn’t have to look up to recognize the voice -- the accent -- nor did she want to; It wasn't real.                     He wasnt real.     ‘ Ya face gon’ get stuck like dat. don’ worry so much.’ His accent was a sound she took comfort in, once upon a time. It was home... blissful assurance of his presence. No more. Now it sends a cold chill down her spine, coiling dread in her gut like a heavy weight in her body. Instead, she focused her eyes on the papers in hand, narrowing upon the fine print til she drowned out all else. Anything that curved the urge to look at the murky cadaver that smiled next to her. Rosie occupied herself by tracing the printed words on the page, memorizing maps and directions until it became engraved into her brain. Her hands felt clammy, her cheeks growing hot despite the cool air that circulated about the jet cabin. It was only she and the Angels. They were real.         Her love had died months ago. And there was no changing that. Her grip tightened and crinkled the papers in her hold.   “Hey, Rosie, you okay?”     Amy brought her out of her thoughts with a gentle hand on her shoulder. By instinct, Rosie had flinched when she realized the physical sensation resting on her body, but her attention was drawn out nonetheless.  “I’m fine, just thinking.” Rosie answered curtly, with noted defense. She nudged off the hand briskly and took a short, haggard breath.   Things hadn’t been the same since their last mission. She hadn’t come back the same. Months of grieving and guilt, drowning her sorrows in a bottle had put her out of commission. Rosie hardly had enough energy to maintain herself, after everything was poured into holding herself together just enough for her kids. Her anxiety in returning to the project was no secret to her team.       But it was time to grow up,    she told herself bitterly, and willed herself back onto shaky feet.          This isn’t what he would have wanted.    “ Relax a bit. We have a few hours before we land, then you can go robotic leader overdrive. ”   The spy gave Rosie a knowing, sympathetic look, much to Rosie’s own annoyance. But Rosie knew she meant well. Amy gave a pat to her leg and smiled with a warmth in hopes of perhaps soothing their leader, “ Maybe take a nap. You look like you need the beauty sleep.”  To that, Rosie said nothing. She simply looked around the cabin at all her sleeping teammates.  The cadaver was gone. Perhaps she should get some sleep.. Even if she knew the awful things that awaited in her dreams.  She needed the energy.

     By the time they had landed, it was still early in the afternoon. Ironically, compared to the time they left, they were now an hour behind the time it would have been in New York City. Wisconsin was different from the concrete jungle they called home. It was Jacob, Amy, Fei, Lyak, Zoey, and Kasimir that Rosie had picked for this trip. Each bringing their own particular skill sets to the game which Rosie felt would best fit their investigation. Though, Rosie has a hard time imagining why they were needed when the city they were headed to seemed so small. She rather bring her heavy hitters, than be sorry for it later.       This was farming country. Small, close knit towns where everyone knew everyone. The worst things that happened here were drunks, cow tipping, and gun blazing idiots. Maybe aliens. But to need the Angels to come investigate? It was either Ed or the government that saw something to gain. Rosie minded herself to not be so careless about the situation. To underestimate could lead to dire consequences , and she was not ready to pay so heavily again.  They needed to get to their safehouse soon. To unpack and get planning. Rosie looked into her file one last time before the group gathered into the military truck, and then they were off.

   The drive was hardly maybe half an hour. The usual pairs talked, the usual few sat in silence, all while Rosie was left to her thoughts.  When they arrived, they poured out in a uniform line onto the watered green lawn they would call their own for the next few weeks until they solved the case. Rosie stood aside with her dufflebag as she watched the group take their belongings and quickly shuffle into the safe house. It was a nice, sizely two story home, surrounded by lots of crop fields.The nearest neighbors were a few miles away, which promised working in peace.  Their driver left them once all the gear was unloaded. He gave a stoic nod and a tip of his hat to Rosie, to which she nodded back, and then he drove away to leave her once again. For a few minutes she watched the dust cloud form behind the heavy vehicle, til it disappeared into a black speck over a hill. Once gone, she went back into the details of her file report expectantly, then raised her head to scan around her. In search of something that was suppose to be there, but was not. She frowned in a way that scrunched her face, then checked the digital watch on her wrist.     He’s late. Not good. 

    Punctuality was a peeve of hers.  He should have already been here. In her aggravation, Rosie looked to the paper again to see if perhaps her deprived mind had made a mistake,  despite herself. She checked the name, the meet time, and found things were as she planned. Things were not going according to plan.  Again, there came that nagging feeling that ached in her bones. Tilting her head back, she glared angrily into the sky with an angry groan. Setting her stuff down fully and pacing about the grass, she was just about to make a call when something caught her attention.  There came the crunching of gravel in the distance. 

It was an old pickup truck, whose driver she could not make out in the kicked up dust that came from the dirt road they drove on.     That must be him... The ache in her muscles quickly subsided as her body relaxed. Her face smoothed out with sweet relief.     Back on schedule.

Rosie made her way over at a leisure pace, waving her hand through the dust cloud and snorting to keep it out of her nose. She walked around the hood and made some attempt to make out the figure inside the car as she did, waving politely through the haze just as the engine cut off. The door opened, and out emerged a tall man. 

“ I was just about to complain that you were late.   You came just in the nick of time. I’m impressed. ”   Rosie opened the conversation playfully as she came around her meet him, her voice smooth and adjusted for civility and diplomacy. She made her space right up against the car door as the haze of smoke finally passed and drifted with the breeze, at last fully able to get a look at him, she offered her hand. 

   “ Are you our guide, Wendell?          My name is Rosie. ”

[wing-ed-thing]

Cliché (shy!Reader x Might Guy, Part III)

Notes: OOOOOoooh boy. You know, I’m usually really insecure about my writing but I actually had a lot of fun writing this chapter. Probably my favorite. Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading as I did writing. Links to part I and II are on the Masterlist pinned at the top of my blog. Unfortunately, Tumblr won’t let this post show up in the tags if I link them here. Lots of love!

Warning for foul language and some sexual innuendo.

It was a small step, but that small step began your blossoming bond with Might Guy. The both of you became almost inseparable. You didn’t know what it was exactly about him, but whenever he was near, you just felt at ease. Wherever you went, Guy accompanied you. Whenever Guy went to train, you were there if not to just spectate. It was apparent to the whole village that you were a good match, yet the two of you stayed near oblivious. Day by day, you grew bolder. You spoke more, laughed more, and for once it felt like you had a seat at the table in your own life. He balanced you as you balanced him.

“You can slow down sometimes, you know,” you would tell him, “Life isn’t a race, it’s meant to be savored.” He took your advice. At times where he normally would have been training for the umpteenth time, you would spot him taking his team out to dinner. When he normally would have run 500 laps around the village, he walked with you as the both of you chatted. You were still soft-spoken and Guy was still outgoing, but you had grown together. You thought you’d never see the day that Might Guy would become the closest person to you, but here it was. Even if you stayed friends, you would be happy.

It was the end of the training day. Your team was splayed out among members of Team Guy. All six children panted, catching their breath on the dirted training ground. Guy worked them hard today. You, well, you reminded everyone that water existed while you tended to the inevitable scrapes and bruises. You were always told that you had too much of a gentle hand when it came to training up Genin, but with Guy’s tough love attitude, both of your teams seemed to be benefiting from your mixed style.

“Alright Team, be sure to thank Guy-Sensei.” You announced as they gathered their kunai from around the field. They gave a tired yet resounding thanks to your colleague. Guy stood across the grounds and gave a thumbs up. One of your students came up to you.

“Do we always have to train with Team Guy?” she complained in a hushed tone. Your other students turned to face you, nodding in agreement. You gave a quiet laugh.

“And here I thought you liked spending time with Team Guy.” The kunoichi in training sighed. The two other boys stood beside her now, directly in front of you.

“We like Team Guy but Guy-Sensei always goes overboard!” one of your boys protested earnestly.

“Yeah,” the other pouted. “Just because you like having boring talks with Guy-Sensei doesn’t mean we should have to do all these crazy routines, (Y/N)-Sensei.” You blinked in shock for a moment before the shock turned into annoyance. Why these little-!

“I’m sorry.” You crossed your arms, a smile on your lips. Your brow twitched. “Do you want to run another 500 laps? Because that’s what I’m hearing right now.”

Your smile made your team uneasy. They passively felt your increasingly negative energy. Creepy. That was the end of those questions. They trudged back home as you trailed behind and walked with Guy.

“What did they want?” Guy asked, lightly bumping your shoulder with his.

“Who?”

“Your team!” he chuckled jovially. “It looked like they wanted to talk to ya.” Your students had begun to branch off at this point as they headed home. Guy continued to walk with you.

“Oh.” Your student’s words echoed through your head. Just because you like having boring talks with Guy-Sensei doesn’t mean we should have to do all these crazy routines, (Y/N)-Sensei. You kept your features light despite inwardly cursing those brats you loved so much. “Nothing! You know Genin. Complaining!”

You looked at Guy whose aura was as positive as ever. You really were smiling more, weren’t you? The both of you continued. In the distance, you saw two figures waving over to the pair of you.

“(Y/N), Guy, you’re just in time!” Kotetsu declared loosely. “Genma and them just got back from a mission!”

“We’re all getting drinks, the whole gang! You gotta come along,” Izumo chimed, “When’s the last time we were all in the village together?”

You did miss your friends and it had indeed been a long time. However, you didn’t know if the bar was the scene for you. Guy had already made up his mind.

“Aw yeah! I can’t wait to see everyone!” The two shinobi before you quite obviously pregamed before running into you, but Guy’s enthusiastic energy still matched theirs. You stood by, watching as the three hyped each other up for the night to come. You inched back.

“Um,” You started in a small voice, “I’ll see everyone later.” Despite their slight inebriation, Kotetsu and Izumo heard that.

“No! C’mon (Y/N)-chan, you gotta come!”

“Yeah you gotta come! We’re on missions tomorrow, and Kurenai and Asuma are being sent out the day after us! When’s the next time we’ll all be together?”

“When’s the next time we’ll be together, (Y/N)?”

Guy cleared his throat, putting a large hand on the shoulders of both men.

“Don’t pressure the lady. She doesn’t have to do anything she doesn’t want to.” You could’ve melted right there. What a dream for introverts! However, you were trying to be bolder, to step out of your comfort zone every once in a while.

“No,” you peeped, “It’s okay, let’s go. I’m sure it’ll be… fun!” Guy gave you a look as if to ask if you were sure. You nodded.

Kotetsu and Izumo led you to the bar where the others were already seated. They migrated to the bar where Kakashi sat with Asuma and Kurenai. Anko seemed to have claimed a circular booth so both you and Guy slid down at one of the ends. Shizune and Ebisu greeted you as Genma called for another round for the table.

The bar was busy but not enough for you to mind. In fact, the more you drank, the less you minded about most things in general. Despite your earlier hesitation, you were starting to really enjoy the company. Listening to your fellow Jounin tell stories, your posture relaxed.  You had one leg slung over Shizune’s thigh as you leaned back against Guy, his arm coming up to rest on the top of the booth behind your shoulders.

“And this dude really fell! Like ‘BOOM’ flat on his face!” Genma narrated animatedly, slamming his open palm against the table. The glasses on the table jiggled. “When I picked him up I asked him, ‘Are you sure you have a bounty? Because you’re the easiest catch I’ve ever hooked!’” The booth was in hysterics. Even the ever-stoic Ebisu couldn’t hold back upon hearing his ex-teammate’s story. Tears welled up in your eyes from laughter as you felt the deep rumble of Guy behind you. You sat up.

“Excuse me!” You exclaimed, waving the short distance from your booth to the group at the bar. “Would someone please do me the favor of getting me another sake?” Your words slurred towards the end. Anko snorted.

“Well fuck, I didn’t think we’d be getting (Y/N) shitfaced tonight!” She cackled.

“I am not drunk!” You defended, accepting your third sake from Kakashi who leaned against the side of the booth with an amused look. “But I may be a little tipsy.” The table howled as Genma reached over to ruffle your hair.

Guy leaned down to whisper to you. His fingers came over yours, delicately taking the glass from your hands. “Maybe you should lay off the drinks right now.” He breathed in your ear. He set your sake down by the one he had been nursing all night. You turned to face him, your leg slipping off of Shizune’s. You leaned more into his shoulder. Guy tensed.

“Maito-Kun…” You whined. Guy was taken aback. Maito-Kun. That was new. He took in your features: the pout on your lips, your large eyes framed by silky strands of hair, the fact that you were slowly trying to reach for your sake cup. He moved it to the end of the table. His attention was drawn again to your lips as they moved. Guy had never paid particular attention to your lips before… wait, as they moved? Guy shook himself out of his thoughts as he realized you were speaking. Now wasn’t the time.

“What did you say?”

“I said I was fine, really. Please don’t worry about me.” You smiled up at him. Before he could answer, Izumo’s voice boomed from the bar.

“Guy! Kakashi!” He called, “Come do a shot with me and Asuma!” Guy hesitated.

“Go!” you encouraged, lightly prodding him with your elbow. He stood up, Kakashi giving him a pat on the back as they walked towards the bar.

“So,” Kotetsu started, sliding into the other end of the circular booth.  You retrieved your drink from where Guy placed it. “How long has that been going on for?” You waited for someone to respond, but no one did. You looked up and all eyes were on you.

“Who, me?” You inquired, taking a sip. Anko puffed.

“Yeah, you.” She took a swig from her drink. “You’re the one who Guy’s been feeling up all night.” You almost choked on your drink.

“What? No, no he hasn’t been-”

“‘Cause you’ve had a thing for him forever, haven’t you?” Kotetsu questioned. Your heart sank. How did he know? “I gotta hand it to you, (Y/N), I don’t think anyone thought you had it in you.” He shrugged. You didn’t think anyone knew about your crush on Guy. You looked over to Kurenai. There’s no way she told anyone right? Your eyes drifted to the man in question. Did he also know?

“Yeah,” Anko barked, “It was always so cringy watching you try to talk to him.” You tensed, the pit in your chest growing larger and more painful the more she spoke. Every word felt like a punch in the stomach.

“It was painful to watch,” Ebisu added. “Especially back in the academy.”

Anko continued, “But we’re all happy for you that you pulled it off, (Y/N). I wasn’t sure how much more I could take! You know, all the stuttering.”

It felt like there was a knot in your throat. You cleared it. Your cheeks had begun to burn from more than just the alcohol. You batted back the tears that began to gather in your waterline. They weren’t from laughing this time.

“Actually, Guy and I are just friends.” You corrected, hoping that you could end the discussion there. That sentence alone barely made it out. You prayed for this conversation to end. You murmured, “Always have been…”

“Heh, I’m sure.” Genma leaned forward to rest his arms on the table. He gave you a wink. “So what? Are you just thirsty for his, uh, Green Beast, huh (Y/N)-chan?”

“Genma!” snapped Shizune. “Stop being gross.”

At this point, you regretted coming. You felt crushed, like you could burst at any moment. All your energy went into maintaining a straight face. You would not be the one to cry in front of your friends at the bar. It was a silly promise to yourself that held your last shred of dignity. Luckily, the topic of conversation quickly changed. You suspected that Kotetsu and Shizune picked up on your discomfort while Anko and Genma were too out of it to notice the bluntness of their words. You have never felt such embarrassment. You wanted to leave. Guy stayed at the bar. It made you relieved, despite a small part of you wanting him to come back. Despite time passing, you couldn’t help but continue to feel dejected.

You couldn’t hold out for long. As you started to sober up, you whispered to Shizune that you were leaving. She gave you a nod and an apologetic look. You only planned on talking to Kurenai and Guy before you left. As you were getting up from the booth, that’s when you heard it.

“C’mon Guy, what about that one over there?” Izumo was gesturing towards a woman near the other part of the bar. You had to admit, she was beautiful. Much more beautiful than you thought you were. “You should go talk to her! Guy, when’s the last time you got, you know, some action?”

You didn’t want to hear the rest of that conversation. It all became too much for you. You weren’t sure if you were overwhelmed. Maybe it was the fact that you didn’t really want to come in the first place. Perhaps it was just the alcohol, but you felt wetness on your cheeks and you quickly made your escape.

You stood outside under the moonlight, surrounded by cool air. You began to shed silent tears, your hands covering your face. You wished you could’ve at least walked home first, but your legs felt locked, as if they would collapse if you tried more than just standing. How did everyone know about your secret? Were you that obvious? Was Guy just playing with you? Your face burned. You thought about the conversation between Guy and Izumo. You had no right to be upset about what Guy decided to do with his own life. He didn’t owe you a relationship of any kind. You knew that, but it wasn’t Guy you were upset with. It wasn’t Genma or Anko or Kotetsu or Izumo. It was- someone called your name. You turned your head slightly. It was Kurenai.

“I just-” you tried to wipe the tears from your face, but they only kept flowing- “You didn’t tell anyone, did you?”

“Tell anyone what?” She came to stand in front of you.

“About my crush on Guy-San.” You felt like a Genin, like a child all over again getting upset about something as dumb as a boy. Shame coursed through your body.

“No, I didn’t.” Kurenai reassured you softly as she pulled you into an embrace.

“I know you didn’t,” You cried into her shoulder. “I’m sorry, I just feel so pathetic.” Your friend patted your head slightly.

“You’re not pathetic, (Y/N).”

“I just-” A sob wracked your body- “I feel like everyone thinks so! Why am I like this, Kurenai?” You shook violently. “I just, I just feel… horrible right now. I’m sorry, Kurenai.”

“Shh… don’t be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry about. You know how Genma gets when he’s had too many. And everyone knows Anko is a mean drunk.” Your friend whispered.

You let out another sob, “She is a mean drunk!”

Kurenai smiled at you. “Yeah, she is. Let’s get you home. We can talk more when we get you home.” And that’s where you went.

[shelby-love]

ANTONIO DAWSON

Infection

Requested: yes

Prompts: none

Warnings: none

Authors note: Scenes are from CF (S8EP4). I might have focused on the plot a little bit more. Apologies.

At a Chicago Bears game members of Firehouse 51, the intelligence unit, and Chicago Med are tailgating.

"Kevin we're missing the pregame." Burgess says.

In mids of all the loud chatter outside Soldier Field you managed to snatch a place at one of the chairs in the little camp site Burgess and Kevin set up.

It's a sunny day and everything looks perfect as you fix your sunglasses. "Did you bring the right cable?"

"Of course I brought the right cable Y/N just give me a second." Kevin starts playing with the remote in hopes of getting it right. "Everything is great don't worry."

"Yeah but we're still missing the pregame." Brett tells him.

"Should I call Antonio?" You propose and look behind you in hopes of spotting your boyfriend. You find him in the crowd throwing the rugby ball to Casey and Jay.

"No no Y/N why you gotta be like that!" Kevin exclaims and when he sees Antonio looking at you confused because he doesn't know whether he needs to come or not he starts waving his arms around, dismissing him.

A few minutes after that Hailey comes striding towards you with food. "12 dozen sweet corn tamales from Garcia's"

"Oh my God!" You exclaim happily and join the of girls towards the food. "Thank you!"

"Hey! Wait until you eat the sausage." Kelly, who's at the grill looks utterly disappointed by your actions.

"Mhmmm." You mumble with Stella, both of you have a full mouth.

"Yeah do what Kelly says." Kidd comments while rolling her eyes.

Next to you, with a ball in his hands Jay asks Kevin, "Hey can you get that working before we gotta go in?"

"Shut up. If I hear another word about the damn TV..." Kevin mumbles and continues trying to fix the TV.

"Why aren't you waiting for the sausages?" Your loving boyfriend stands behind you, eyeing the tamale in your hand. You turn around to face him and motion towards the tamale, "I know you want this."

To your words he opens his mouth and you give him a few bites before hearing Kelly say, "Antonio not you too!"

Victoriously you wrap your arm around Antiono's shoulder and start laughing while he wraps his own arm around your waist.

Times when you all got together were fairly rare. That's why this meant a whole bunch to you. Antonio presses a kiss to your cheek before someone starts screaming and commotion arises.

"Hey we're firefighters! Back up! Back up!" In a split second the whole day changes for the worse and you run after Matt. The crowd makes room around the man and you crouch behind his head.

Antonio looks just as confused as you do when your eyes meet. Natalie and Brett join you. "He's alive." You say after you remove your fingers from his neck.

"He's seizing!" Nat says when the man starts to shake uncontrollably.

"There's blood on his leg." Kelly notices.

Your full attention is on the leg as you watch Nat pull his jeans up so she can see the wound.

"Jesus Christ..." The words leave your mouth the moment you see the wound.

"What is that?" Antonio asks while looking at you and Natalie.

"I have no idea." Natalie answers truthfully.

"I don't want to be that person Nat but why does that look like necrotizing fasciitis?" You tell her after examinating the wound with her.

***

Your words proved to be true after they drove him to the hospital. Necrotizing fasciitis was indeed what the man suffered from and unfortunately died from.

What was even worse was the fact that he wasn't the only one that was infected.

Sylvie and you got dispatched to a house where you found two people dead inside from the same infection.

"Oh my..." Sylvie walks closer to them but you put your arm in front of her and halt her movements.

"No no don't come closer," You grab your radio to contact dispatch. "Dispatch... This is ambulance 61. We need a hazmat unit to 25 43 North 18th Street."

"Happy Halloween Chicago." Brett mumbles.

***

"If I didn't know what that was I would've thought those people were attacked by sharks." Jay said as he and Antonio followed you out of the house. They arrived at the scene to make sure you're alright and get inside on how that happened.

"It's the same thing that guy had at Soldier Field." Sylvie says. "Necrotizing fasciitis."

"But Chicago Med says that chances of infection in this bacteria are 4 in 1 million per year." Antonio adds and you nod.

"And that it's not contagious." Brett adds.

"Now we've got 3 cases in the same city in the same week." You sigh and open the door of the ambulance.

"So we were able to identify our first patient from Soldier Field." Antonio opens his notepad to read out his name. "His name is Stewart Anderson and he's a student at the Central Chicago University."

Your eyes fall on the hazmat suits that are walking in and out of the house. "If this is spread on contact... Or even worse... Airborne... This entire city is going to drop like flies."

"We'll keep you guys posted." Jay sighs before walking towards the SUV. Brett makes her way in the ambo and you're left with Antonio.

He looks cold and alof but you know that he's worried sick about you. "Take care of yourself baby. I mean it."

You grab his hands and squeeze them tight, "Now you know how I feel."

You find yourself in his arms in an instant. Soft kisses are pressed to your head before you both pull away from one another.

He leans in to give you a promising kiss before the two of you have to go your separate ways.

"Stay safe." You tell him while your hand grips the door handle of the ambo.

"Always." He winks before walking away.

MASTERLIST

[toplinetommy]

Refrigerator Door - Tyson Jost

Word Count: 1.7k Synopsis: You, Tyson, and your family reminisce some of the best parts of yours and Tyson’s relationship A/N: Inspired by Refrigerator Door by Luke Combs, italics are flashbacks!

“Mom! Hi!” you exclaim, embracing your mom in a hug. “Welcome to our new home!” You gesture your arms showing off the newly and finally completed living room. You and Tyson had just bought your first, official, “married couple” house together a few months ago in the Denver area, and this was the first time your family was able to come out and see it for themselves.

Tyson stands up from the couch, making his way over to hug and greet everyone. He hugs your mom last and proceeds to ask if anyone wants something to drink. The small group that was your family follows the two of you into your kitchen, a few “ooo’s” coming from their mouths at the sight of the fully updated kitchen.

As he shuts the refrigerator door, your family all find seats around the kitchen island. “These are really nice cabinets. Nice countertop, too, whoever designed this did a really good job.” Your dad analyzes, admiring the soft white cabinets and the butcher block countertops that are littered with greenery.

A soft scoff comes out of your mouth at the comments your dad makes, “Always gotta comment on the construction.” Your mom and brother laugh at your comment, knowing the way your dad always got about that kind of stuff.

“You guys already have so many pictures hanging on your fridge!” Your mom exclaims, getting up and moving towards the silver refrigerator to get a closer look. You share a wide smile with Tyson, knowing that pictures were something the two you never had enough of.

“It’s covered with the best days of our lives.” You admire, leaning into Tyson's side as he places a kiss to the crown of your forehead.

A polaroid of the two of you at Red Rocks Amphitheater

“That one’s when we saw Kygo at Red Rocks. It’s one of Tyson’s favorite artists.” You say, leaning into Tyson’s side a little, thinking back to that night.

“y/n! Walk faster!” Your boyfriend exclaims, grabbing your hand and pulling your smaller body closer to his. You giggle at your excited boyfriend, a wide smile covering both of your faces as you walk hand in hand to your seats.

As the two of you make it to your seats Tyson wraps his arms around your frame, kissing the top of your head. “Thank you for coming with me, means a lot.” You smile into his broad chest, pulling away slightly to give him a quick kiss. The two of you hadn’t been together that long, only for about four months, and this was the first time you really let Tyson spend any type of money on you.

As the concert goes on and the two of you sway to the bass of the music playing, there has been a definite shift in your guys’ relationship. “Hey,” He whispers into your ear, “I love you, you know that?” You turn your head to look further at him, wide-eyed at the statement that had never been said to the other yet. The music around you fades as you yell an “I love you” right back at him.

“That was the night Tys told me he loved me for the first time.” You grinned, a similar grin forming on your mother’s face at the sentiment, while a gagging sound comes from the island where your brother sat.

A picture of you, Tyson and your brother at a bar

“Oh, that one’s old!” Your brother says loudly, pointing at the beat-up photo in the top left corner being held up by your college magnet. You laugh loudly, your brother joining you as you look at the picture. The three of you are sitting at a table, you’re practically in Tyson’s lap and your brother is standing behind the two of you.

“That’s when Tyson made a point to come visit me my last semester at school so he could get to experience the ‘party-girl lifestyle’ that he so begged to witness.” You mimic Tyson’t tone as you do finer quotes around ‘party-girl lifestyle’.

“And I was there because y/n had just gotten back from spring break and I hadn’t seen her in weeks.” Your brother explains to your parents.

“Tyson, you seriously want to go out to some dingy college bar that’s going to be full of frat guys?” You ask, raising your eyebrows at your pouting boyfriend.

“Yes! I didn’t really get to experience the college party scene that much and I know you enjoy the bar scene here so you should show me your ways.” Tyson elaborated, puppy-dog eyes in full effect.

You let him tag along, him and your brother chatting while you did your hair and makeup. Once you guys had gotten around to the bar after a pretty laid-back pregame, that’s when all hell broke loose.

Tyson couldn’t believe how cheap the drinks were and tried to convince your group that you guys weren’t actually drinking alcohol because it couldn’t possibly be $3 for a double.

“Just drink your shitty rum and coke and get drunk and let loose,” You say into his ear. “It’s the way of college!” You finish with a laugh. Tyson laughs along with you, throwing his head back, then downing the rest of his drink before getting up to get another round.

The night progresses and the two of you, alongside your small group, continue to take turns between dancing and playing card games at the table and getting way too drunk off of bottom-shelf liquor.

A picture of you, Tyson, Andre Burakovsky, Mikko Rantanen, and Mark Barberio at the X-Games

“That one’s from this past year during the bye week. Y/n and I went to Aspen with a few of the guys for the X-Games.” Tyson explained, pointing at the picture briefly.

“Oh yeah! She kept sending me pictures from it to make me jealous!” Your brother complained, followed by a scolding look from both of your parents.

“Next time we’ll invite you. I already told you that.” You defend, freeing yourself from Tyson’s grip to go sit down next to him.

“I don’t think I could ever try or even want to attempt flipping that many times in the air over har, frozen, snow.” You admit, watching the snowboarding half-pipe event. Tyson is standing behind you, his arms slouched around your neck, the other guys standing around the both of you. “Like, I thought what you guys did seemed hard and ridiculously dangerous, but I take that all back.” A loud laugh emits from Tyson behind you and you feel the rumbles in his chest against your back. The rest of the guys were laughing alongside him.

“Hey! What we do is hard!” Tyson whines, pulling you tighter into his chest. You giggle lightly into your scarf before turning to look at your boyfriend. Your eyes meet, his eyes giving you his signature puppy-dog look, to which you sigh at.

“I love you,” You sing-song, going to poke his pink nose. “And what you do impresses me every day, don’t you ever forget that.”

A candid picture of the two of you with his family, Tyson’s holding the Stanley Cup above his head and instead of looking at the camera he’s looking at you

“I haven’t seen this one before!” Your mom says with glee, reaching out and touching the photo being held up by the Colorado Avalanche Stanley Cup Champions magnet. “The magnet is a nice touch, too.”

“One of the best days of my life.” Tyson admits sheepishly. His smile widens and his cheeks turn a little pink from the memory of that night.

“You’re a fucking Stanley Cup champion, Tyson!” You yell, running a little too fast over the ice to your boyfriend.

“I’m a fucking Stanley Cup champion, baby!” He yells right back as you reach him. His arms wrap around your body tightly, and he lifts you up into the air with a squeal. He sets you down, grasping your cheeks with his calloused and clammy hands, giving you a kiss.

“I love you so much. Thank you for being here and for always being there for me.” He thanks, his lips only a few millimeters away from your own. You can see his eyes starting to turn glossy, causing the same reaction in yours.

“I love you, I’m so proud of you.” You say, a hiccup coming out at the end from your overwhelming emotions. You wrap your arms around his neck once more, hugging him impossibly tighter.

Tyson pulls away “C’mon, we gotta go take some pictures with that beauty and the rest of my family.” He grabs your hand, skating slowly towards where his mom, sister, and grandparents stood waiting for the two of you to have your moment.

Even more hugs and congratulations are exchanged as you wait for the cup to be passed to Tyson for his turn to take pictures. Once JT skates it over and passes it to Tyson with a cheer, you wait for him to take some pictures with just his family before he waves you over to join him. You stand between him and his grandpa, a look of pure adoration in your eyes as you look at the love of your life having his dream come true.

An ultrasound picture

“We actually have one that we still haven’t put up there yet.” You say, eyeing Tyson. He understands where you’re going with the statement and moves to the next room to grab the photo you’re talking about.

The tone in your voice and Tyson’s sudden exit from the kitchen causes your family to all exchange weird looks as they wonder where he went.

“What picture are you guys talking about?” Your dad asks for everyone in the room. He’s leaning on the kitchen island with knitted eyebrows. A tightness pulls in your stomach at the anxiety of the conversation that’s about to happen once Tyson comes back.

As if on cue, Tyson walks back into the kitchen, small photo in hand. Instead of putting it up on the fridge right away, he opts to bring it over to your family. As he reaches the kitchen island where you all are located, he pulls you into his side and sets the small, mainly black photo onto the table.

You look around the island, watching everyone’s reactions once they comprehend the photo laying in front of them.

Your mom’s eyes flick from the photo to you and back to the photo with her jaw dropped and eyes wide until she speaks up. “You’re pregnant?” She sheepishly asks, hope filling her facial features.

You nod your head, smile widening on your face as you answer her, “I’m pregnant.” You say it so softly, it’s almost a whisper, as Tyson rubs your arm softly.

“Oh my God! You’re pregnant! My baby is having a baby!” She shrieks jumping from her stool and running around to pull both you and Tyson into an airtight hug. Your dad and brother join in on the group hug before pulling away to give you individual hugs. Once your dad finishes shaking Tyson’s hand, Tyson moves to stick the new addition to the front of the fridge where it joins the other pictures.

The pictures covering your fridge create somewhat of a contrast to the rest of the kitchen aesthetic, but the both of you don’t mind and you enjoy the daily reminders of the best days of your lives.

[hellishchrissy]

chapter 7 - there’s no one like you, sava

SATURDAY

14:35

Eva What time r you guys gonna hit the party?

Silvia Around 21? Me and Fede were gonna get together and pregame around 19, you guys wanna come?

Sana I’m good, I’ll probably be late to the party anyways. Gotta do something with my mom.

Eva Where are you pregaming?

Fede My place, mom and dad are in Venice for the wknd.

Eva What about Ele?

Eleonora I’m good too, I have a ton of school stuff before I get to the party.

Silvia Ok, that’s chill.

Silvia Brb, gotta go raid my closet to find something to wear.

Fede Ugh, same. Crisis incoming.

SATURDAY 20:56

Filippo stopped his car in front of Edoardo’s grand house, his eyes gazing over the house approvingly. There were people standing on the front lawn of the house, some of them smoking cigarettes under the night sky, and the open doors of the house emitted a warm glow. Eleonora hopped out of Filippo’s car, but before she could slam the door shut, her brother said:

“Hey, I don’t know why you’ve been feeling so down for a few days, but promise me you’ll try to have fun?” Filo’s voice was full of concern, his eyes sympathetic. It was clear that he was trying to detect any clues of Eleonora’s thoughts on the girl’s face, but there were none to be found.

Eleonora nodded, adjusting the bag on her shoulder in an attempt to avoid eye contact with her brother. “I promise, Filo. I’m fine.”

Filippo’s eyes on her were knowing, and for a moment he hesitated  as if there was still something to say. But instead he smiled, nodded and gestured for his little sister to go, his smile wavering only for a second. Eleonora slammed the door shut and followed Filippo’s car with her eyes until it was out of view, stalling on the moment she would actually have to turn and face everyone - especially Edoardo - at the party that was clearly already raging on. A few people were already greeting Eleonora before she even reached the house itself; some of the faces were familiar friends of Edoardo’s, some of them complete strangers. But they all knew who she was.

“Ele!” Eva crashed onto Eleonora as soon as she stepped, her arms wrapping around the girl. Eva was wearing a pair of shorts over her bikini, her hair still damp from the chlorine water. Eva smelled of alcohol, chlorine and a fragrance that Eleonora had learned long ago to associate to her; it was a sweet scent, somewhat fruity and bubbly. Just like Eva herself.

Eleonora pulled back from her friend’s embrace. “Hi! How’s it going?”

Eva spread her arms and spun around in a drunken manner, giggling as she did so. “Amazing! It’s been so much, Federico threw me into the pool!”

Eleonora turned her gaze to the other side of the crowded livingroom, where Federico and Chicco were loudly playing a game of cards, surrounded by a curious crowd of intoxicated teenagers. Even Silvia and Sana were following the progress of the game, the blonde girl clutching a half-empty bottle of wine in her left hand. Loud music was emitting from the glass doors that led to the backyard, where the majority of the party was obviously happening - it was a pool party, after all.

For the first time in a while Eleonora felt nervous at the thought of seeing Edoardo, but she didn’t protest when Eva grabbed her by her arm and started leading her across the crowd, slipping through the masses of people like it was her second nature. “Eleonora, you have to come swimming with us!”

Eleonora shook her head at Eva as they stepped outside, the warm night air caressing their faces. “No, I… Totally forgot my bathing suit at home.”

Music was blasting from a large set of speakers, and the pool was filled with drunken people moving their bodies to the beat, there were couples making out in the water, there were girls dipping their toes into the pool. And then there was Edoardo, shirtless, immersed in conversation with a bunch of friends. Eleonora stood there for a second, frozen, trying to decide whether to continue her little effort of completely avoiding the boy, who she had barely said a word to after their little scene on the roof terrace of Eleonora’s apartment.

But before Eleonora could come to a conclusion, Edoardo looked up, his eyes setting immediately on Eleonora. A smile twitched at the corner of his mouth, and his eyes lit up in the slightest, most warming way possible. But just as fast it had appeared, the expression was gone. Edoardo turned back to his friends, said a few words to them and then turned back to Eleonora. Eva’s eyes were curiously jumping between her and Edoardo as the boy made his way up to them, his expression stern when he stopped in his tracks right in front of Eleonora, so close that she swore she could almost taste the chlorine on Edoardo’s skin.

“Hi,” Edoardo said, his eyes hard on Eleonora’s.

Eleonora felt breathless. “Hey.”

Eva looked like a frightened child left in the middle of their parent’s argument, leaning backwards on her heels when she caught the cold expression in Edoardo’s eyes. Eleonora could see Eva gaze glossing over the crowd until she spotted Elias sitting on the edge of the pool. “Guys, I gotta go say to Elias,” the redhead said, her care-free voice so artificial it almost made Eleonora chuckle. “I’ll catch you later, though!”

Edoardo waited until Eva was far enough not to hear them before he said anything. His hand reached for Eleonora’s almost instinctively, his fingers brushing at hers. “I missed you.”

Eleonora felt like there was not one single coherent thought in her heard when Edoardo was looking at her like this, his fingers still caressing the skin on her palm like it was the most natural thing for him to do. There was a worried look twisting his usually carefree features, and Eleonora felt so guilty that it felt nearly impossible to maintain the eye contact Edoardo was so desperately seeking. Eleonora brushed a lock of hair behind her own ear, shrugging. “Sorry, I uh… Got really caught up with school. It’s crazy how much homework piles up once you have actual friends to hang out with.”

Edoardo was not dumb. He caught the artifical tone of lightness in Eleonora’s voice, he heard how desperately the girl was trying to make a joke out of the entire situation. Edoardo gave the girl a half-assed smile to giver her some peace of mind, and it seemed to work - something in Eleonora’s posture changed, and it looked like she released a breath she had been holding in for minutes. “Okay, I get it.”

They both were lying, and they both knew it. There was a hint of blame in Edoardo’s eyes, and there was a hint of a secretive shame in Eleonora’s, but neither said anything about it. It had always been better to brush things under the mat in Edoardo’s experience, so he figured that Eleonora  would not be any different. Maybe it was useless to try to figure things out with her - maybe it just freaked her out. Maybe she needed some time.

Time. The only thing that Edoardo and Eleonora were seemingly running out of. Fuck. Edoardo felt pain in his chest when he remembered Eleonora’s strange message: Fine. But after that we tell everyone that we’re over. The girl had put a clock on their time together, and the clock was running on its last hours. And even the thought of that felt somehow painful to both of them, yet neither knew nothing of each other’s feelings.

“You wanna go swimming?” Edoardo asked, desperate to break the heavy moment between the two.

Eleonora shook her head again. “I forgot to bring my bathing suit.”

Edoardo laughed, and this time there was truth in the gesture. “You forgot to bring a bathing suit. To a pool party.”

“Well, you know me,” Eleonora said, her tone nearly playful this time. “I’m all over the place.”

Edoardo smiled tenderly, turning his gaze to the sky with a laugh. “Yes you are, Sava.”

23:58

The party had gotten only louder the past hours, and even Eleonora had gotten to the same, festive mood as her friends around her. The girl was sitting on the backyard lawn with Eva, the two of them slightly detached from the rest of the party so that they could hear each other speak - and though they were sitting on the edge of the lawn, Eleonora swore she could still feel the bass of the music in the back of her teeth. She took a sip of her beer, her eyes peeled on the city lights below them. If there was something Eleonora loved about Edoardo’s house, it was the view; the slight hill the neighbourhood was situated on offered an amazing view across Rome, and it was only better at night.

Eva next to her looked thoughtful, her fingers fidgeting with the glass bottle. “So, how are things with you and Edoardo?”

It was a simple question, but Eleonora didn’t know how to answer. She tore her gaze off of the city, taking an extended sip of her beer - the alcohol was humming in her bloodstream, making everything warmer, safer. And suddenly, as if it were the most natural thing, Eleonora felt the absolute need to confess the truth to her best friend who was now eyeing her with a worried look in her eyes. Eleonora opened her mouth, but it felt like the words were getting stuck to the back of her throat, suffocating her.

“Ele?”

The brunette took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “We’re faking it.”

“What?” Eva asked, confused.

“We’re faking it,” Eleonora repeated, turning her gaze to the redhead beside her. “The relationship is fake, we’ve been pretending for like a month. Edoardo wanted to make his ex jealous and I wanted to get the opportunity to meet new friends at school.”

Eva stared at her, clearly waiting for the girl to burst into drunken laughter. The moment never came, and the redheaded girl kept opening and closing her mouth in an attempt to give Eleonora something to hold on to - some kind words, some consolation, anything. But what the hell was she supposed to say. “Oh.”

“I’ll just pretend that this isn’t the weirdest shit I’ve ever heard,” Eva continued, shaking her head. “Well, how long are you guys gonna go on?”

“Today’s the last day,” Eleonora stated, her voice almost cold. “I told Edoardo that we’re done.”

“But why?” Eva asked her best friend, taking a long sip of her beer.

“It’s nothing,” the brunette lied, avoiding Eva’s eye contact.

“You’re full of shit, Sava.”

Eleonora hesitated, as she knew that there was no point in lying to her friend. Eva had gotten to know her so well that it’d just be insulting to continue lying to her and pretend like the girl didn’t know the truth. And besides, why wouldn’t she tell Eva? She had already told some of the truth to her, so there really was no point in withholding the rest of the story from the redhead.

“Well… I’m just so confused. Edoardo’s still hung up on Elena, and I’m yet one of the girls that fell for the Incanti charm just to get nothing back,” Eleonora huffed out, shaking her head. She took a sip of her beer. “It’s embarrassing.”

“Listen, Eleonora,” Eva started, putting her beer bottle between her feet to prevent it from tipping over. “I don’t know what the fuck you’ve been doing the past month, but clearly you have not been seeing any of the obvious signs around you. Edoardo likes you, girl. I can tell by the way he looks at you - like he’s trying to figure you out, and he quite can’t, but he’s just enjoying the fact that you’re there.”

Eleonora couldn’t help a slight smile from climbing up her lips, and she turned her gaze to the grass to hide it from Eva.  The girl continued: “So I’d say if there’s anyone who stupidly fell for someone who doesn’t like them back, it’s not you. It’s Edoardo.”

There was a certainty in Eva’s words, and whether it was the alcohol in Eleonora’s system or something else, Eleonora felt slightly more confident. “You think he likes me?”

“Oh hell yeah,” Eva said, truthfully. “He’s probably just waiting for a sign. He’s a respectable guy after all, not one to jump a girl who gives no indication that they’re interested in him. Though I doubt that there have been many girls in his path that have not been interested.”

03:45

It wasn’t even four in the morning when Eleonora woke up in one of the guest bedrooms, still fully clothed. The girl scrambled up from the bed, noticing that Eva, Fede and Silvia were laying on the bed, as well. No wonder it had been uncomfortable - the bed was barely big enough for two people. Eleonora made her way out of the bedroom barefoot, closing the door quietly in attempt not to wake up her friends. She made her way down the hallway and back to the livingroom, where many people were passed out on the couches, some of them still clutching half-empty bottles. It was still dark outside, the night air in the backyard illuminated only by the lights in the pool.

Eleonora walked to the backdoors, avoiding the empty beer bottles, cups and the occasional human being lying on the wooden floors, careful not to wake up anyone. The chlorine-scented night air felt good on Eleonora’s burning skin, and for a minute she considered whether it was too late to call Filippo to pick her up - maybe he was awake, it was the weekend, after all. Though if he were awake at this hour, it was more likely that he was in no condition to drive, as he had mentioned a new club opening in Trastevere. Fuck.

Edoardo’s voice pierced the silence, making Eleonora jump. “You’re awake.”

Edoardo was sitting on the steps that led to the pool, submerged in water up to his chest. His arms were spread on the edges of the pool, a cigarette between his fingers. There was a bottle of vodka and an ashtray on the edge of the pool, close enough for the boy to reach - clearly he had taken advantage of the party dying down to have a moment of his own, as Edoardo had never been to person to fall asleep early. It was something Eleonora had learned over the course of their weeks together, through countless of late night text messages and hang outs.

“Yeah,” Eleonora admitted eventually, walking to other side of the pool. She sat down on the edge, putting her feet in the warm water. Edoardo followed her with his lazy gaze, frowning as Eleonora seemed to sit down as far away from him as possible.

“Are you okay?” Eleonora asked eventually, forcing herself to look at Edoardo. The blue light illuminated his features beautifully, colouring him in a completely new way. The light bounced off of his eyes, and Eleonora couldn’t look away.

Edoardo took one last drag of his cigarette before stumping it onto the ashtray. “I’m good. You know, though I was pretty fucking surprised that all of a sudden you wanted us to end this.”

There was such a deep hurt in his voice that Eleonora nearly flinched - it was like a knife thrown right across the pool. The girl turned her gaze back to the surface of the water, suddenly feeling the burn of Edoardo’s disappointment.  “Shouldn’t you be thanking me? Elena’s so damn jealous that for a moment I thought that she might actually kill me.”

Edoardo sighed, throwing his head back to look at the stars. “You know, for such a smart person you can be really fucking dense sometimes, Sava.”

“What?” Asked Eleonora, her voice sharp.

“This has nothing to do with Elena anymore,” Edoardo stated, looking at Eleonora again. “At least not for me.”

“What do you mean?” The girl asked again, suddenly feeling extremely nervous under Edoardo’s gaze.

“You know what was the only thing I cared about tonight? The only reason I was so excited?” Edoardo asked and paused like he wanted to give his words more weight. “You. I got to see you. And that was all I could think about all damn day. And you know what that means?”

Eleonora shrugged, a smile twitching at her lips. “You have severe problems with concentrating?”

Edoardo rolled his eyes and splashed some water, though it did not reach Eleonora on the other edge of the pool. “You are impossible.”

A wider smile twitched at Eleonora’s features, and for a brief moment Edoardo was relieved. They fell into a silence that felt somehow fragile, like the slightest of sounds could break it. Edoardo wanted to break it. He wanted to shatter it, he wanted to say every single thing that had been keeping him up for days, he wanted Eleonora know how he felt. The words kept getting stuck in his mouth, and after a few moment he gave up, turning his gaze to the side. And that’s when Eleonora started moving.

The girl pulled off the long cardigan she had borrowed from Silvia, leaving only the white, simple dress she had worn to the party. For a moment she hesitated on something. Seconds passed, and Edoardo swore every last one of them felt like eternity. And when Eleonora dropped into the pool, Edoardo couldn’t tear his eyes off of the girl.

“Uh. You’re coming in. In your dress,” Edoardo said, stalling on the words like he was trying to figure out the sight in front of him.

Eleonora shrugged as she made her way closer to the boy, the water getting more shallow as she got closer to Edoardo. “I didn’t bring my bathing suit, remember?”  

Eleonora didn’t stop until she was close enough to Edoardo to touch him; she stood there, shivering in the cool night air, the weight of her soaked dress pulling her down. She looked beautiful even then, the blue light dancing on her features, creating shadows on her eyes. Edoardo sat there on the stairs looking at her, and suddenly it felt ridiculous that they were so far apart.

Eleonora took a deep breath. “Hi.”

A wide smile spread across Edoardo’s features, lighting up his eyes. His right arm reached for Eleonora under the water, wrapping around her waist. Slowly he pulled Eleonora to his lap on the stairs, his eyes locked on hers. His voice was rough when he whispered: “There is no one like you, Sava.”

Eleonora’s hand made its way to the back of Edoardo’s neck. She felt breathless as she sat there, looking at him, close enough to feel his cool breath tickling at her skin. Edoardo’s left made its way to her waist, securing his grip on her like he was scared Eleonora would disappear from under his touch. Eleonora’s eyes on him were gentle, and though her hand was shaking - from nervousness? - as she brushed a runaway curl from Edoardo’s eyes, there was a certainty in her eyes that she had lacked before. Something had changed in her, something in the way she looked at Edoardo, her lips so close he could almost feel them brushing against his own.

And that’s when Edoardo kissed her, making Eleonora gasp against his lips. It was slow at first, careful. Edoardo’s arms around her were secure but gentle, and the kiss on his lips so intoxicating it felt ridiculous that it had taken him almost four weeks to finally give into the feeling that had been driving him insane for days on end. The kiss started deepening when Edoardo felt Eleonora’s hand sliding from the back of his neck to his jaw, her small hand cupping his face.

“What?” Edoardo asked, breathless, when Eleonora pulled away a mere few inches.

Eleonora shook her head, smiling. “Nothing.”

Slowly, their lips crashed again. Edoardo’s arms let go of Eleonora’s waist and wrapped around the girl, pulling her so close she could feel Edoardo’s racing heartbeat against her own. The water splashed around them from the sudden movement, and Eleonora giggled the most adorable laughter against Edoardo’s lips, making his heart jump ever so slightly. How had it taken him so long to get here? How was it possible that he had wasted these past weeks not kissing Eleonora? Fuck.

 She was the best thing he had ever felt, and if Edoardo could have frozen this moment, at four in the morning, and live it forever, he would have. 

chapter 1 - this will sound dumb

chapter 2 - we need rules

chapter 3 - we’re in this mess together

chapter 4 - just don’t do anything i wouldn’t 

chapter 5 - so fucking special

chapter 6 - it’ll mess everything up

[curious-minx]

Denis Leary is making an animated vignette series based on Dogs Playing Poker and 10 Other Pieces of Kitsch Art That Should Be Turned Into TV

KITSCH auction house tremors and stampedes.

Dennis Leary basically discovered sex, drugs and rock n’ roll with his 2015 two season FX series Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll. Leary’s always been one of those guys that can’t be beaten down  in spite of how dopey and cynical his edgy working class personal brand is. He’s got an entire deal set up with Fox, the flailing broadcasting company has placed all of their chips on a Denis with only one lousy  “N” in his name. I can’t even with this fake Irish Bostonian droid. Relish in the delicate thought process of Leary and leftover former Daily Show producer, Jim Margolis,  bringing up a Pinterest screen grab of the Dogs Playing Poker by Grand Master of Kitsch Cassius Marcellus Coolidge and money signs popping out of both of their heads. Here is a dramatic retelling of this thought process:

“Yo, get this Big D,” salivates the recently fired from Netflix Jim Margolis to Leary over a Zoom, “Fox got this Bento Box Animation Studio sitting around doing nothing but churning out animated interstitials for the Masked Singer, Paradise PD, The Prince, The Blues Brothers animated series, animated Harold And Kumar, Housebroken, The Great North, and ugh..um..Hoops..”

“I fuckin love Hoops, Jimmy! Why aren’t we pitching this on Netflix again?”

“Because Dogs Playing Poker is going to work so much better as pregame filler for live Sporting Events...on Fox.”

“Oh yeah. All of those rotten good for nothing grease monkey and lunch pail people will probably be giving each other Budweiser flavored Covid at the local saloon with these damn dog pictures hanging up. It’s like when old drunks would stay out late and watch the Flinstones at the bar, did you know that actual human male adults would sit in a town like Boston and waste away in a bar watching Flintsones. Can you believe that Johny?”

“My name is Jimmy, err Jim, but yeah Denis we’ll send you the scripts over. Any idea who we should cast?”

“Get me the hot blonde from Inspector Gadget 2, God dammit I miss Louie..are we sure we can’t get Louie back on air?”

“Afraid after Patton Oswalt dognapped his role from him in Secret Life of Pets, Louie CK has been banned from ever appearing as a talking dog again.”

“So bogus. Bobby Kelly will have to do.” Denis gets a text. “Dammit, Adam is getting all thirsty for this juicy  delicious bone. Gotta throw a  big bone to my dog Ferrera. Who else?”

“Ok. I’ll get one of those sad Daily Show losers. Um picking one at random, Roy Wood Jr. They’ll pretty much jump into anything, because John Oliver was in Love Guru they start thinking they can fail their way up.”

“I said no politics at the table! Paws off the table! This is going to be so fucking lit!”

////

Kitsch Art deserves so much more. George Lucas, retired American filmmaker, robber baron of childhoods and all around  mensch has been heavily invested in the kitsch art of Norman Rockwell. There are a bounty of stories to tell. Too many of them are far too white and basic, but there are rich narratives to be found in his out of date even for his own time romanticism of The Old Masters. Hopelessly out of date could have been a failing of Rockwell, but his politics grew progressive as his career went on and fought against the system. Cassius Marcellus Coolidge is the man that operated the first bank in Antwerp, New York  had the astronaut-like grace to wonder, “what if dogs played poker like people played poker?” A painting that dates back to 1894 used as means to sell cigars. What strikes me most about this painting is that they aren’t wearing clothes, but I bet when you try to imagine the painting you imagine these dogs fully decked out in some sort of work coat. There is a further anthropromized version of the ad called “His Station and Four Aces” that depicts a glimpse at a look at an entire canine furry society. His ideas of putting an animal in clothes remains to this day one of the most novel and surefire commercially friendly means of artistic expression. The original cynical man laughing all the way to the bank, his own bank that he founded to boot.

Seen above: An example of a Comic Foreground that also demonstrates the failings of having too few people in your party to properly partake in the comic foreground experience. 

“Cash” Cassius wasn’t the first man to imagine a domestic pet in people clothes, but he’s probably one of the few to do so with such commercial finesse. The man also at one point filed the patent on the “Comic Foregrounds,” which is the technical name of one of those carnival boards with holes to stick your head in. In post Covid times how many more heads will be salivating and rushing towards those holes to pop their heads in to create a lasting memory, if only for a second. So when I start learning more about this remarkable weirdo Cassius Coolidge, a man according to his official website dogsplayingpoker.com’s Biography: “Trying to chase mischievous boys from an abandoned house, he fell from a window and hurt his knee, leaving him injured for the rest of his life.”

Flash forward back to 2021 and Denis Leary and his career a man with a wikipedia with fun entries about all the accusations of plagiarism and hate speech against autism I start to worry about the legacy of more Kitsch art falling into the hands of other greedy and desperate TV executives. That being said if you are a greedy TV executive who happens to be a maniac that likes reading rando’s tumblr pages do I have a list for you!

TOP TEN PIECES OF KITSCH ART THAT SHOULD BE TURNED INTO SOME KIND OF SOMETHING

“We Are Having a Heavenly Time” Columbian Bike Monkey and Parakeet by, once again, Cassius Coolidge

Coolidge’s anthropomorphic foresight strikes again! This time he effortlessly establishes a captivating duo that could be easily voiced by an endless combination of celebrity voice actors. PAUL RUDD as “Monkey” and ISSA RAE as “Parakeet” present “We Are Having a Heavenly Time” present a travel show. You could basically use whatever leftover footage you have lying around from the many Conan O’Brien segments and plug Monkey and Parakeet and their trusty bicycle anywhere for an irreverent glimpse into the foreign World around us.

2. “Clown and The Girl” by Haddon Sundblom  

Now I know what you’re thinking, that title is miserable! I agree, but with a little  reverse engineering you get The Girl and Clown, which could be a whole new addition to the Girl on a Train, Girl with a Dragon Tattoo, Girl with a Dangly Earpiece, the Girl-Verse! The girl appears to be quite fearless of this clown, which is good because we need someone to be brave for when the clown takes off his mask.

Sundblom is also the original artist for the Coke a cola Santa Claus and how is it that we have gone this many rotations around the sun without a single Coke a cola Santa Claus special is the real reason why Christmas will always be the saddest time of year.

3. “Clean Your Fornasetti” based around the artistic Plate collection of Pierro Fornasetti 

Muk bangs, videos of people eating are a huge cyber traffic boom. People love watching people eat. Why not add the element of surprise by what kind of playful Fornasetti chanteuse is hiding underneath this plate full of gruel? Fornasetti is an artist with over 11,000 items created in his name and over 500 of them are based around a variety of expressions of a single woman. Clean Your Fornasetti is a deep and poetic rumination of the romance between the act of someone cleaning their plate and the reveal that the plate contained a visual feast all its own.

4. “Mickey’s Kinkade Playhouse” by the one and only Thomas Kinkade

The Kinkade Studios features over 63 “narrative panoramas” featuring Disney characters, but largely Mickey and Minnie, simply vibing. It’s time we stop pretending that small children like Mickey Mouse and market him for wistful older audiences that want to radiate in a nice long warm bath of color and sound. I am not sure I am even pitching an actual series but more of a Narrative Panoply. One thing that is missing from Disney Plus, and streaming services in general, is a severe lack of programming frills and flourishing. The iconic Adult Swim bumps are something completely lost to the dustbins of programming history left to remain in youtube compilations. Thomas Kinkade is a lot like Enya. Art critics treated him like a comedic punching bag for so long, but I doubt there’s an artist that grasps the kind of sterile enchantment people want after a long day of opioid benders. We’re all trapped inside doing puzzles why not do the bare minimum of slightly animating a pleasant scene of Mickey and Minnie roasting marshmallows or enjoying a breath of fresh Alpine air?

5. “Dust Lickers” by Odd Nerdrum

Quick! Get me Trash Humpers’ Harmony Korine on the Line Show him Shit Rock! The world of Odd Nerdrum is a harsh and primeval one that would make for an astonishing animated landscape. Odd Nerdrum himself feels like a worthy subject of some kind of documentary based around his imagery and insistence on making his art in the most arcane and old fashioned methods possible. Once again, maybe the visual world of Odd Nerdrum may not make for a full on narrative series, but once again would make for one hell of an animated segment.

6. “Homemade Pasta” by John Currin 

A cozy Queer slice of life cooking drama based around the two charming fellows of John Currin’s Homemade Pasta scene. A series of vignettes based around the completely unfabulous and domestic version of bliss that was denied many people as a result of the AIDS crisis. You can’t tell me you don’t see those two nice guys getting cozy and making pasta together and you aren’t dying to see how they go about rolling out their own focaccia bread.

7. “The Velvet Elvis” by the Collective Conscious 

David Lynch at one point in time was trying to crack into making his own Elvis biopic. I think it’s pretty safe to say that the age of a public wanting a David Lynch directed Elvis biopic has probably passed, but that does not stop Velvet art enthusiasts. TheVelvetStore.com is featuring a remarkable promo that could really bump up what a David Lynch Elvis movie could be like and the horror of having one’s soul trapped inside of a Velvet Elvis rendition painting seems like a pretty fertile place to begin a proper story about Elvis in America. 

8. “Big Eye Bunch” by Margaret Keane 

Yes, it was only a matter of time before Ms. Big Eyes herself, Queen of Kitsch, Margaret Keane would come up on a list like this. Tim Burton tried and sort of kind of captured what it so endearing about Keane’s work, but I think a fully animated dive into an orphanage full of sad Big Eye kids that time travel and meet other Big Eyed children version of historical figures is a Big Idea that could make a whole new generation keen on Keane.

9. “Banality” by Jeff Koons

An animated series based around the artistic sensibilities of Jeff Koons would be a tricky affair, but just the kind of gaudy whimsy that someone like Michel Gondrey could use to proper effect. A series based around someone trying to steal the fifteen million dollar Michael Jackson statue would also be appropriate.

10. “Groovenians reboot” by Kenny Scharf

Scharf is the only artist on this list that actually was a kitsch artist that caught the attention of early aughts adult swim. A tv show that only features the artistic sensibilities of Scharf but also a voice acting cast that consisted of Paul Reubens, Rupaul, Vincent Gallo, and Dennis Hopper. There’s also a theme song performed by the B-52s and musical direction by Devo’s Mark Mothersbaugh. One of the only known published reviews of the pilot describe the show as needing mind altering substances to enjoy and that it is essentially like “watching a cartoon reflected off of a funhouse mirror. This is basically a description of the modern tik tok addled twitchy type content that makes a killing on the Internet for millenial and zoomer types. Basically the whole aesthetic of a warped and broken looking cartoon is the exact sort of thing weirdos deep diving at youtube at four in the morning are looking for and seeing that this gets a failed pilot and Denis Leary’s Dog Poker vignettes get greenlit is exactly what’s wrong with the world.

[sinfulwonders]

👀 Any more WIPs to reveal?

heck ya there are! (I’m terrible at finishing stuff, so I’ve got so many.)

So I’ve never posted a despair disease for Kokichi, even though I’ve written 4 different versions of Kokichi getting some sort of despair disease. Here’s one where the despair disease reverts the person into their pregame self! There’s a lot I like and a lot I didn’t like when I wrote this, but I hope y’all enjoy. It also just sort of cuts off, because it is a wip.

“Report to the gym for your new motive!”

The announcement repeated over and over in his head as Shuichi made his way down the hallway of the school.

But Kaede just- This is all happening so fast.

Shuichi had just watched his first friend in this obscene game die two days prior. It was brutal. He couldn’t look away as Kaede dangled from a rope by her neck, her body bouncing lazily across a piano. Every time her feet hit the oversized keys her eyes held a glint of hope. Like maybe she was getting some sort of mercy. Maybe she was being lowered down and released. But she died, slowly and painfully, each keystroke a shot to his heart.

I can’t let that happen to anyone else.

Shuichi had decided as he relived Kaede’s death over and over again, at night during his dreams and anytime he had a quiet moment during the day. He couldn’t bear the thought of anyone else suffering.

Her sacrifice needs to be worth something. So I’ll protect everyone. I have to.

Shuichi was extremely bothered that only two days had passed and Monokuma was already implementing a new motive.

But what could it be?

The detective was the last one to enter the gym, seeing the stares of all the others as he entered. He reached for his hat out of habit, but once again had to realize, just as he had to do the past two days, that he was no longer wearing it.

Because Kaede never liked it. I have to be strong. For her.

“RISE AND SHINE URSINE!” The Monokubs popped out of seemingly nowhere.

“What’s this all about?” yelled an angry Kaito.

“A new motive, idiot, didn’t you hear the announcement?” laughed the mischievous Kokichi.

“Shut the hell up Ouma, you know I didn’t mean it like that.” Kaito snarled.

Kokichi raised his hands up and shrugged, “Touchy, touchy. You’re all so gloomy!” He smirked, “The mood….It’s like someone died!” He cackled as Shuichi tensed up immediately.

“Ouma-kun!” Shuichi burst out, glaring at the boy.

“Aww is Saihara-chan mad at me?” Kokichi shot a feigned pout towards the detective.

Shuichi balled his fists and scowled at the supreme leader in an angry silence. Seeing that he was getting no response he smiled and turned to the kubs.

“So what’s the motive this time? Better not be boring!” He turned and grinned back at Shuichi.

“Motive? What motive?” Monotaro asked.

“Oh dear, did he forget again?” Monophanie had a concerned look on her bear face.

“IN-ORDER-TO-GET-ALONG” Monodam robotically stated, “YOU-MUST-OVERCOME-THIS-MOTIVE.”

In order to get along. That’s rich.

“It’s a disease this time,” Monosuke pointed out while pushing up his glasses.

Monophanie wailed, “Oh no that sounds dangerous!”

Monosuke glanced over at her, “That’s the point.”

“Basically you get the disease and it changes some part of your personality. Making you the opposite of how you are. If you kill we can cure it for you!” Monotaro explained.

Monophanie gasped, “Wow, Monotaro remembered so well! Do you have the disease???”

Monosuke hummed, “Hmm possibly…”

“I gotta rock hard rager!” Monophanie screamed.

“Watch out, it’s contagious!” Monotaro cried, pointing at the now wild pink bear pretending to strum a guitar.

“SO LONG BEAR WELL!”

With that the bears were gone.

“So there’s a disease going around?” Shuichi pondered.

“Such a pain…” Himiko sighed.

“It’s okay! I’ll fight it off!” Tenko cried, clutching onto a pulling away Himiko.

“Ooh Gonta help if he can!” Gonta smiled, taking a combat stance, “Gonta fight disease too!”

“I’m not sure that’s how it works…” Kirumi noted.

“Does anyone feel sick?” Kaito asked.

Kokichi smirked at the group, “You idiots. If there is a contagious disease going around, why the hell are we all together being buddy-buddy like this? I’m super lucky as a supreme leader that I’m immune to all diseases, but it’s pretty stupid for the rest of you to all be in one room breathing each other’s air!”

“Ouma, I’m so sick of your attitude!” Kaito barked.

“Oh yeah, you’d rather us continue to try to be a team?” Ouma laughed aloud, “Cuz it worked so well for Kaede?”

“SHUT UP!” Shuichi screamed at the supreme leader. His cheeks flushed red as he saw the fear flash for a moment in Kokichi’s eyes. He started again, quieter, “Please, don’t talk about her… Ouma-kun.”

Ouma looked down at the floor for a second and then up at the detective.

“Sai-har-a…” their eyes met and Shuichi saw the fear return into the supreme leader’s violet eyes, this time for a different reason.

Kokichi fainted, his body falling in heap on the floor.

Shuichi ran up to the fallen boy immediately, as the group went into a panic around him.

“Ouma-kun!”

 ----------------

Shuichi sat in the supreme leader’s room, watching the sleeping boy. The detective and Kaito had moved the boy to his very cluttered room after he had fainted, while Kirumi had gone to get medical supplies to treat him. The others had decided to investigate and try to find out any information on the disease affecting them. Shuichi supposed he’d probably be more helpful in that capacity, but after seeing Kokichi fall like that he felt compelled to stay with him.

He just seems so small.

So Shuichi sat alone with the sleeping boy, as Kirumi came and went, tending to Kokichi and bringing snacks to Shuichi. It was almost night time when the boy jolted awake.

“Oh good you’re up Oum-” Shuichi declared with a smile, until he saw the boy’s face, “Ouma-kun?”

It was deathly pale, staring blankly at Shuichi.

“Ouma-kun are you okay?”

Suddenly his eyes seemed to focus in and take in Shuichi’s form.

“Saihara-chan?” Kokichi smiled weakly.

Oh good he remembers me. He didn’t lose his memory I guess.

The sick boy continued, “Where are we?”

“Your room…you’re sic-” Shuichi started but was interrupted by Kirumi entering with medicine and some dinner for the boys.

“Oh Ouma-kun, good. You’re awake.” She said with a taut smile.

The boy looked fearful and reached out to grab Shuichi’s hand. He turned with surprise when it was not within his grasp.

Shuichi just gave him a confused look.

“Saihara-chan, what’s going on? Who is she?” Kokichi trembled.

“What?” Shuichi questioned, “You remember me and not Kirumi?”

Kokichi nodded, shaking. Shuichi stood and moved closer to the supreme leader.

“It’ll be okay…” he sat on the bed next to the trembling boy.

He tried to slow his breathing, remaining calm in front of the panicking boy, but was not expecting his next move.

Kokichi threw himself against Shuichi, pressing his head into his chest and arms around his waist.

“I’m scared Saihara-chan!”

Shuichi instinctually held onto him, arms wrapping him in a warm, protective embrace.

What the?

Shuichi held the small, shaking boy, eyes wide with shock, as Kirumi quietly set the tray down and exited the room. She gave him a small smile and nod on her way out.

“Ouma-kun…it’ll be okay…” Shuichi patted his back, trying to get the boy to calm down.

Kokichi looked up at him suddenly, eyes cast with sadness, “Why are y-you calling me O-ouma-kun?”

Shuichi’s eyes widened at that expression, “Because that’s what I always call you?” he stated in confusion.

Kokichi let go of him and backed away, fear now on his face.

His tone got quieter and more serious, “Who are you? Where’s the real Saihara-chan?”

“What?” Shuichi gave him an equally confounded and concerned look, “I am the real Shuichi Saihara…”

Kokichi furiously shook his head, “No. No I don’t believe you!” He cried out, “I don’t know who you are, but you’re not my Shuichi!”

Shuichi backed off the bed, genuinely shocked by Kokichi calling him first name, “Your Shuichi?”

Kokichi turned away from him in his bed, pulling the covers over himself. He whispered, “Please…get out.”

Shuichi backed out of the room, quaking on shaky legs as he was utterly dumfounded and a little scared of the conversation and Kokichi’s very different personality.

Why did he know me and not Kirumi? Why did he call me…his?

He tried to push the thoughts out of his mind as he took a long walk around campus.

 -------------------

The next morning, as Shuichi entered the dining hall, Kirumi pulled him aside.

“It’s not just me.”

“What?” Shuichi asked, still groggy from just waking up.

Kirumi frowned, “I went back last night. Kokichi doesn’t remember anyone. Except for you.”

Shuichi was stunned, “What? Why me?”

Kirumi sighed, “He doesn’t remember anything that has happened during the killing game. So, I have come to the conclusion that you must have known each other outside of it.”

Shuichi let out an audible gasp, “WHAT?” Several people at the table turned around in interest.

Kirumi sighed and whispered quieter, “You need to go talk to him. Find out what he knows. Maybe he knows why we’re here.”

Shuichi grimaced at the thought. It was so jarring and difficult to see Kokichi completely unlike himself.

I hate this.

He sighed in defeat as Kirumi made him a tray with two plates and gave him a small but stern push towards the dorms. Shuichi started that way.

He looked at the small room key that Kirumi had placed on the tray.

KNOCK KNOCK.

His light knock received no answer, so he quietly unlocked the door. Small snores escaped the mouth of a sleeping form. Shuichi quietly sat down, placing the tray on the bedside table.

He watched the boy, and was surprised to see how peaceful he looked like this. So innocent.

He’s beautiful.

Shuichi shook the thought out of his head, but was quickly pulled back to stare at the serene scene in front of him.

Shuichi watched for a while, his eyelids slowly getting droopy as well, when he noticed that small whimpers began to escape Kokichi’s lips. He began to toss and turn in his sleep, the nightmare seemingly invading his peaceful slumber.

“Ouma-kun,” Shuichi whispered, moving closer to the boy. He slowly shook the boy, until he awoke with a slight jolt, “You were having a nightmare.”

Kokichi’s eyes lit up and he pulled Shuichi into a deep kiss.

“Mmm!” Shuichi’s eyes widened in shock as the detective immediately pulled away, “W-what are you doing?”

Kokichi’s face fell solemn immediately, “You r-really don’t remember…”

“Remember what?” Shuichi stammered, still blushing and shaking from the impromptu kiss, “Please, tell me…”

Kokichi looked up at Shuichi and let out a large breath, “Shuichi… the last thing I remember about you...is b-being in love with you.”

What?

Kokichi saw the still confused expression and his heart sunk deeper.

Shuichi felt dizzy as he fell back in his chair, “Was I i-in love with y-you?”

“Yes,” Kokichi let a small wry smile settle on his face.

This was all way too much for Shuichi. His head hurt and his heart felt like it would pound right out of his chest. He tried to stand once more to try to leave, but it was too much.

He collapsed on the floor. Blackness overtaking him.

 ---------------

He awoke gasping for air, surrounded by eyes.

“AH!”

“It’s okay, it’s us, bro.” He heard Kaito’s familiar voice and relaxed. His vision cleared and he saw that he had been moved to his room and was now surrounded by several of his fellow inmates. Kokichi was hunched in the background, staring at Shuichi.

“I fainted…” Shuichi mumbled, as Kaito, Kirumi, and Maki nodded.

“How are you feeling?” Kaito asked, concern sweeping his face.

“I’m not sick.” Shuichi replied, causing the three besides Kokichi to sigh in relief.

“You hit your head pretty hard,” stated Kirumi, “It was a good thing that Ouma-kun came and got us so quickly.”

Shuichi face softened and he looked at the boy, still trying to make himself look as small as possible, “Thank you…” he smiled.

Kaito glanced between the two boys, noticing something had changed.

“What’s different about you Ouma?” Kaito had a suspicious tone with the sick supreme leader, “The monokubs mentioned personality changes. What’s going on?”

So I guess Kirumi didn’t tell anyone else.

“Momota-kun,” Shuichi whispered, unable to conjure the strength to speak louder, “It is fine. Thank you for your help, but can I please talk to Ouma-kun alone now?”

Kaito looked visibly annoyed, “But Shuichi? It may not be safe! He’s a liar!”

Kokichi withered at that comment. Shuichi gave Kaito a slightly sterner look this time, “Momota-kun.”

Kaito sighed, “Okay bro… I trust you.”

“Thank you.”

The room emptied except for the quivering Kokichi.

“Y-yes, Shu-Saihara-cha-kun…?” Kokichi quivered, struggling on what to call his apparent lover.

“You can call me whatever you want. I know this is a weird situation, but I want you to be comfortable. Whether you call me what you used to call me or if you call me Saihara-kun, I just want you to be comfortable.” Shuichi sighed as Kokichi’s eyes seem to calm a little.

This Kokichi was so different from the one he knew. Although I’m sure he’s thinking the same thing.

Shuichi examined the boy, staring at the differences. His eyes had lost the mischievous sparkle, instead they were round, like some sort of nervous animal. His usual smile was gone, instead he chose to bite his lip in thought. But the most important thing missing was his presence. Kokichi lacked the aura of confidence that surrounded him most days. Instead he seemed so childlike and innocent.

The two stared at each other, each examining the strange version of a person they no longer knew. Eventually Kokichi spoke.

“This is so strange…”

“Which part?” Shuichi smiled.

Kokichi blushed, “I’m t-this close to you…and I’m not in your arms.”

Shuichi flushed red, “Oh um I’m sor-”

“Oh no!” Kokichi interrupted, “Don’t be sorry. P-please. I just…this is fine.”

Shuichi desperately wished he was wearing his hat to cover his face.

“Ouma-kun…what did I used to call you?”

Kokichi smiled, as if reminiscing a fond memory, “Ko-chan.”

“Are you always this straightforward and honest?”

Kokichi blinked and then his smile returned, “With you.”

The two blushed at each other.

 --------------

Kokichi stayed by his side, sitting in the desk chair near his bed silently. He watched Shuichi at all times, only speaking if spoken to. Kirumi presented lunch and then dinner at the door, along with various medicines for Shuichi’s head and Kokichi’s waning fever. Kokichi always thanked her politely and said, “I’ll take it from here.”

Shuichi was in and out of sleep, emotionally and physically exhausted.

He woke up once in the later evening and didn’t see the purple-haired boy. He couldn’t help but start to panic.

“Ouma-kun?” He said aloud, fear visible in his voice.

A small boy rushed out of the bathroom with a washcloth.

“Yes…Saihara-chan?” Kokichi’s eyes were wide and caring as he placed the cold compress on where he hit his head.

Shuichi sighed.

It’s weird that I feel so attached to him so quickly. It really is like we’ve been together for a long time.

“Will you sit with me?” Shuichi whispered, blushing.

Kokichi smiled and Shuichi’s heart began to race, “Of course.”

The small boy climbed on the bed, sitting upright next to the laying Shuichi. He took the detective’s hand in his own. His hand was cold from holding the washcloth, but it was comforting all the same. Shuichi’s eyes drifted close, hand gripping Kokichi’s tightly.

He awoke with a small jump as purple flooded his vision. He realized quickly that Kokichi seemed to have fallen over, his hair resting directly in front of his face now. He felt Kokichi’s chest go up and down and realized he was holding the boy, spooning him.

When did I…

He watched the beautiful boy breathe in and out for a while, admiring the serenity of the scene, pulling him just a little closer. He smelled of lavender. It wasn’t until the morning announcement was played that the small boy began to stir. He wiggled slightly in Shuichi’s grasp, and the detective loosened his grip on the boy. Kokichi turned so that he was face to face with the detective.

“G’morning,” the violet eyed boy said with a shy smile.

Shuichi returned the smile, “Good morning, Ouma-kun. How are you feeling?”

“A-ah I should be asking you the s-same thing Saihara-chan! You fainted!” Kokichi stammered.

“Yeah, but you have some sort of sickness. Do you feel any negative symptoms?”

Kokichi frowned in thought, “N-not really…”

“Hmm. That’s weird. Maybe it’s only a personality switch, then?” Shuichi mumbled.

Kokichi shrugged and then nuzzled closer to the boy. Shuichi recoiled backwards at the more intimate contact.

“I-um, we should go to breakfast…” Shuichi sat up awkwardly, not wanting to look the disappointed Kokichi in the eye.

 --------------

As they walked into the dining hall, Kokichi clung to the detective as if his life depended on it. The two collected their food and Kokichi quickly sat down next to Shuichi, eyeing the strangers staring at them with suspicion.

“Oh, um… I guess I should introduce you to everyone, since you don’t remember meeting them…” Shuichi pondered sheepishly.

“He doesn’t remember us?” Kaito exclaimed, jumping out of his seat.

“He doesn’t remember friends?” Gonta frowned, and Himiko gave him a sympathetic pat on the back.

“Ah- no. He doesn’t remember anything from…here. He’s really nervous, so let’s go through this slowly so we don’t overwhelm him.”

“Nervous?” Miu screeched, her personality the last thing Shuichi thought Ouma could deal with right now, “When’s the gremlin ever fuckin’ nervous?”

“That’s a good point, Iruma. It’s strange that he hasn’t spoken up… What’s going on Saihara?” Maki inquired, glaring at the supreme leader.

Kokichi’s eyes widened in fear of the girl, as he hid his face in Shuichi’s shirt.

“O-ouma-kun…” the detective stuttered out in surprise. He then scanned the room of confused onlookers, “The disease. He is very shy and doesn’t remember much. So…just be nice, okay?” He gave the boy a pat on the back and Kokichi peaked out from the detective. The faces looked much less terrifying to the boy.

 ----------------

Shuichi sighed in relief that the introductions were finally over. The detective had slowly introduced Kokichi to each ultimate, and the encounters went smoothly for the most part. Except for Miu’s of course:

“So…you’ve got to be hittin’ that! Right Pooichi?” Miu raised her eyebrows at the detective, suggestively licking her lips.

“Wha- no! Of course not!” Shuichi exclaimed.

Kokichi’s eyes got wide, “H-he would n-never hit me, Iruma-san! Saihara-chan’s not like that!”

Miu’s interaction went as well as to be expected, Shuichi supposed. It had been surprising, but the way Ouma was so quick to defend him, had made the detective’s chest flutter with pride. He was also enjoying the supreme leader clinging to him more than he thought he ever could. The detective looked down at the boy gripping onto his shirt, his purple hair framing his pale features in a way that made him look almost angelic.

“Saihara-chan?” Kokichi looked up at the boy in confusion.

“Oh-uh,” The flustered Shuichi turned away from the supreme leader, “S-should we, find something to do for the day, Ouma-kun?”

The purple-haired boy’s face lit up, “Yes! I’d love that! What should we do, Saihara-chan?” He was practically jumping up and down with glee.

[vilevault]

>>untitled<<

He came into the venue as he often did. Tight black skinny jeans that formed against his legs perfectly. Wearing a beat up leather jacket and a form fitting T-shirt. I always hope he’s working on the nights I have a show here. I had never seen a man so stunning as he always is. I mean. I’ve been interested in guys before but, he was different. The way I felt about him was different. We’ve talked a couple times before. He likes my music which I really appreciate. The way it feels when he looks at me is almost ethereal. As if he may feel the same. I’m always doing shows here because of my numerous projects and, checking out for new talent for my label. He’s always busy with the Merch booth. I don’t understand it. Me? Having feelings for a Merch punk? I guess Stranger Things have happened. But tonight’s the night I want to make a REAL effort. I can’t let him slip away.

The venue is still empty so I jump off stage to get a drink at the bar before the let the horde through.

“Hey, Chad (the bartender). Could you get me a shot of Hennessy, please. And whatever he’s having.”

“Mike, you know I get drinks for free right? I fucking work here.” Smirks Jason.

Unf. Jason. Goddamn he’s something else.

“I guess that’d make sense.” I respond.

“Ha, way to use your noggin, bud.”

Yikes. “Bud”. Bad sign.

“So,” I continue, “Any good groups coming in this week I should know about?”

“Hmm. Uh. Calciferous is supposed to be pretty good. They’re gonna be here Wednesday.” Jason replies.

“You gonna be around to see ‘em?”

“Probably not. I always have Wednesday nights off. Might peek in for a while though. Heard they put on some wild shows.”

“Is that right? I should check out the scene then. See if they’re right for Ipecac.”

“Who isn’t at this point, Mike? You have 20+ acts signed and none of them have anything in common!” He jokes. His humor is so fucked but, it just makes me love it more.

“I mean. You’re not wrong.”

“You might want to take your drink and get back to the stage. It’s five till nine. They’re about to open the doors and I’d hate to see you get mauled.”

“How sweet and thoughtful of you.”

“Yeah, I can be like that sometimes.”

I head the stage after saying later to Jason and tipping Chad.

***

We’re about to go on and I’m feeling really nervous tonight. I finish my drink and go on stage and we play our set. And it goes smoothly. For the encore we play a cover of “Easy” by The Commodores. I changed the lyric in the song to say “boy”. I’m trying to drop all the hints I can without seeming too obvious. I feel like I’m just grasping at straws. He’s 23 and I’m in my fucking forties.

***

The crew tears down and I’m outside on my way back to where I’m staying for the night and I see Jason having a smoke in the alley.

“Hey, kid. Someone could kill you back here.”

“Are you gonna do it, old man?”

“I’m just saying it’s dangerous. You’re young and I’d just hate to have to see that face on the news.”

“You think so? This mug belongs on television.”

“You’re right. But not due to the discovery of your lifeless body.”

He chuckles and takes another drag while he puts his phone in his pocket and steps closer to me. I feel like I can’t breathe. Aren’t you supposed to outgrow the whole butterflies thing after thirty five?

“Ha, uh. I’m still interested in seeing that Calciferous show. Think you’ll have time to check it out?”

“Perhaps. It’s supposed to be an earlier show. I definitely want to see them.”

“Well, why don’t we grab a coffee before it?”

“You mean, together?”

“Yeah. Is that a problem?”

“Of course not. I can always go for a coffee.”

“Really?”

“Really really.”

“Well...” I pause.

“Yes?”

“Are you busy right now?”

“I guess not.”

“Well let’s go for coffee now.”

“Sounds great.”

So, we walk around the corner to a 24hr coffee window and sit on the patio out front. We get to talking and I learn how much of an old soul this kid is. He knows way more about art, music, and film than I did at his age. Hands down. We finish our coffee and we share some laughs. I can’t help but glancing at him with want in my heart. And somewhere else too. I feel he might be glancing at me that way too. But. No. He couldn’t possibly.

***

“This was fun, Mike! But, I gotta get home now to feed me pets.”

“You have pets? Yeah, two cats.”

“I love cats! Do you have any pictures?”

“Duh”

He pulls out his phone and shows me some pictures.

“So that grey one is Haberdashery...”

“Wow, that’s a fucking name for a cat?!”

“Yeah, I just call him Hats for short.” He laughs. “And this calico is Ricky.”

“Ricky? Hmpf..”

“Yeah. As in Ricky RiCato”

“That’s So stupid.”

“Believe me, I know. That’s why I HAD to name him that.”

“Fantastic. I’ll let you go home to Hats and Ricky.”

“Alright, goodnight.”

He goes in his direction and I go in mine.

Fuck. I’m forgetting something. Dammit.

OH!

“Jason, wait up!”

“What, Mike?”

“Let me get your number that way we can figure our plans for Calciferous.”

“Alright. Sounds good.”

We exchange numbers and I go back to my place. And I assume he went to his. I had such a great fucking time.

***

Tuesday comes. No word from Jason.

I guess I could text him first.

“Hey. It’s Mike.”

I type it out and hit send.

I go on about my day. Checking my phone every time it dings and I feel my heart drop when it’s not him.

Then...

*ding*

“Hey, Mike. It’s J”, the screen reads.

I go to reply. But I don’t want it to seem like I’ve just been waiting by the phone waiting to hear from him. Even though that’s exactly what I’ve been doing.

***

I wait a while and just send a simple, “What’s up?”

“Just wanting to see if you wanted to meet up at ‘Dimly Lit’ for a little pregame before the show tomorrow?”

Drinks? I think I like where this night could possibly be going.

“Sounds good.”

“Cool cool. See you then!”

***

I’m at the club Jason said to meet at for drinks. I have a house marg. I want to pace myself to see how this is gonna all play out.

[badgirl2chainz-blog]

! S T A G E C O A C H !

Hi all! SO I am totally not a writer but against my better judgment I wanted to share blogs with whomever cares enough to read them about my experiences at my favorite thing to do in the world – yep you guessed it, attend music festivals. I figured what better way than to take a break from all the regular and rather negative social media talk than to read about something that is becoming so popular. The point of my blogs is mostly for me, to remember my experiences when I’m old and grey and most likely getting wheel chaired into my next festival. But I thought why not share my thoughts and opinions and see if others can relate to yours truly. Most importantly I want to look back and see what a wild time I had.

My first blog is about is California’s biggest country music festival, Stagecoach, otherwise known as Ragecoach, yes I unfortunately was even guilty for writing that on an Instagram caption, once or uhm maybe twice. If you’ve never been you’ve most definitely heard that slogan on the radios from January until the last weekend of April every year. It can get pretty exhausting if you have zero interest in country music, but for every High School senior, it is truly the most exciting commercial to hear.  I can relate because I was that High School senior.

I went to my first Stagecoach my Junior Year of High School. I had always gone to concerts and fun events before this, but never had I gone to 3 day music festival. I was through the roof. My pals and I chatted about what we wearing, what songs should be on our mix CD’s, what classes we were missing, what the weather was going to be etc. etc. etc. Our wristbands were pure gold to us and we kept them on for months after the festival ended. Rather disgusting now that I think about it, but I still have every wristband and every box it has arrived in. Oh and of course my Mom made me go to school that Monday, but that was always the golden rule – if you play you gotta pay. 

Entering the polo fields whether it’s Stagecoach or Coachella, (hopefully my next blog), is truly a euphoric experience. Sounds so lame, but I get giddy just thinking about it. And if you’re with me, or anything like me, it is a scene and a half. Yes you are sweating, yes your buzz might be fading, yes you are tired, yes you are sore, but man you are stoked. You are so proud of your outfit, whether you’re wearing a cute country dress or an American flag vest with a matching doo-rag, you feel like the 10 that you are. You are stoked that the alcohol you poured in sunscreen bottles made it in safely, so stoked that you will literally high five any drunk guy that you pass by. The ferris wheel is spinning and the cops on horses are roaming around and you are ready, ready to get to that 4:00 pm artist who just happens to be Eli Young Band and you had already told yourself you are not going to miss them.

From babies with huge noise cancelling headphones, to adult men wearing nothing but a thong to cover their gentleman parts, stagecoach has it all. It definitely caters to every ones’ needs because, to be honest, not everyone that attends, are actually country fans. That thought never bothered me because the more the merrier in my opinion. Most people pregame to EDM or rap but luckily my friends and I have always kept it festive and pregamed to our favorite Jason Aldean and Luke Bryan songs – whether or not they were performing. We may or may not have thrown in the Tesoro Rap once or twice but hey gotta keep that Titan pride forever baby!!

Stagecoachs attendance has people on both ends of the spectrum, it definitely has those cute families that look forward to Stagecoach all year round and you best believe that they were making Jell-O shots the whole week before to prepare.  It also has those girls that are just excited to wear their $100 cowboy boots for their first time and get that perfect boomerang with the caption saying “Yeeeeehawwww” or “Save a horse, ride Brad”. But my favorite type of Stagecoach goers are those older couples that bring their chairs and blankets and set up a cozy camp so far away from the stage, but you can tell that they are just as excited to see Blake Shelton as you are.

Now lets talk about something rather important. Food and Drinks. Holy Moly the lemonade. Even as an almost 22 year old, I would still prefer lemonade as my poison for the weekend. It is so refreshing and goes great with a nice slice of Spicy Pie Pizza, an all time Mamafred favorite! Getting a wristband to drink is definitely time consuming but most necessary, too many youngins have received MIP’s and MIC’s. A lil tidbit piece of advice would be to eat before you enter because yeah the food can be extremely expensive and if you aren't fortunate enough to have a best friend whose Mom makes a killer bbq chicken salad, then yeah please eat before. Oh and by the way, Stagecoach is actually one of those festivals that doesn’t have designated drinking areas and you can walk around with alcohol in your hands – clutch.

GA or VIP? Well I have been fortunate enough to experience both sides. I spent some time in VIP with my family and it was so fun, you are so close to the stage and it’s the perfect time for photo ops. The lines for drinks are so much shorter than in GA, I definitely took that for granted when I went back in GA the next day.  In all honesty, it’s all about preference, I would have to say GA is more fun though, yes it’s more crowded but it’s the type of rowdy you signed up for and should expect. I would suggest you save your VIP money, get a GA ticket and have extra cash for some beer and/or lemonade. Shout out to Mom for buying me a $28 grilled cheese in VIP, I will always love you for that one.

Being able to attend Stagecoach has been one of my favorite parts of going away for college, being able to see your high school crew and your family all in one fun ass weekend is something I will never take for granted. The crew has added new friends over the years and the Freddy’s even got Brady to join in the most recent year. He doesn’t like country but like I said, as a High School senior he still had a grand ole time. My goal in life is to go to Stagecoach with my future daughter and with Mamafred. I have no doubt in my mind that Mamafred and I will be able to show her the ropes accordingly.

One particular pal of mine has been such a trooper and has made her way back to the west coast to attend Stagecoach with all of us. She even surprised us all and let me tell you, I blubbered like a baby, but hey ever since that day I have been so thankful for American airlines for letting me have her for the weekend - they truly helped make our round 5 that much better, together.

There is truly nothing more heart warming than thinking of you and your crew dancing to the Sunday night headliner, singing at the top of your lungs, telling each other how much you love them, and completing ignoring the fact that you have an 8 am in another state.

Thank you so much for reading and I hope everyone who attends Stagecoach this year has a blast, especially since Uncle Kenny’s hotter when the sun goes down.

P.S. meet at the boot ;)

[musingsofmissanon]

5/1/17- They’re Dating

I am writing this technically the day after... I found at like almost midnight on April 30th but it is now 7:49 and I have yet to sleep. 

So I have two friends. They have a 6 year age gap between them. One just turned 18 like last month and the other is like 24. They just met in like November of 2016. One is a little slither of a thing and the other is fairly average. The girl i will call C and the guy I will call T. 

Our friend group has been speculating that they had a thing going on from the beginning. Like I kid you not, she started calling him Oppa by the second time they had met. But I wrote it off as a “she watches hella k dramas and prob just wants to call the guy Oppa” kinda thing. I mean he let her so what can I say? I also didn’t like him at the time and didn’t think too much about it.

Anyway, they hit it off right away and we learn that he is the nicest to her. This guy who is normally a right asshole is nice to her, a girl he just met a few months ago. I was like whatever, she’s friendly and develops fast friendships, plus she is literally like four foot and is the youngest in our friends group, so we all babied her to an extent. I didn’t think too much of it.

Later, as the months progressed I just assumed that they had moved into a normal Oppa/Dongsaeng relationship and that because she was 17 and away from home, he made an extra attempt to be nice to her. 

How wrong was I. After a couple of months, it twas brought to my attention that two other girls in the group fancied him, that was unanimously agreed on. However, there was argumentation about the particular girl in question. No one knew whether C liked T or if was just a “he’s nice to me” type thing that she played into. Most of us saw her a super innocent. 

There was like one girl in the group that insisted that C had a thing for T and vice versa. 

Looking at it now, the ending seems obvious but you gotta understand T. T is a guy who has an Oppa complex, once he decides he likes you alright, he’s nice to you and goes out of his way to do older brother type shit, even if he’s talking shit while doing it....

Therefore, I continued not to think too much of it. 

Our group soon began to call the other girls who fancied him Tots and C was added to the list as Head Tot. 

During parties and other social events we as a group could no longer deny that something was odd with C and T. However, upon asking them individually, they denied anything. 

One of the tots who I will call E received some of the benefits that C received so that further my delusion. But the difference in E and C is that E and T occurred organically where E and T’s Oppa/Dongsaeng relationship did not. 

Anywhoo an example of the special privilages would be:

- Him calling you ‘Nae Dongsaeng’

- Trips the store in his car

- Him buying you stuff

- He wasn’t gonna be an ass to you

- He does not things in general that he doesn’t do for anyone else

- Checking after your well-being

- Generally showing care that he doesn’t give to everyone

- He also lets you ride in the front seat (I learned that one the hard way even though we had been friends longer than he and E, but that’s another story.) 

However, C got special treatment. He would start attending parties because had to make sure his “Dongsaeng” were okay(read Dongsaeng as C). He started showing up at functions that C happened to be at, functions he normally would not attend. He and her would isolate themselves and sit alone to chat, of course that never lasted long because the other Tots would flock to him and her like bees to honey( I mean literally at parties, T and C would go to the backroom and the other two Tots would realize they were gone and set our to find them). He would always make sure she ended up in his car when we would go places as a group. He would as about her if she was not present. 

The tots also do not know that almost all of the friend group calls them tots.

I do feel like at this point I should mention that I liked him in the beginning stages of our friendship. It was very much not reciprocated and I also very much hid it. I got over it eventually the more I got to know him and not the idea of him. I do thing that was due in part at least to my loneliness... 

So by the time things are getting heated with the Tots, I was over him. 

We also had a scare in between the Tot formation and the C and T predicament where another one of our friends whom I will call M discovered that she also liked T. 

That too was due to various reasons that she soon came to realize after she confessed to T and got rejected. But that’s a whole other story...

Anyway, there came a point where we realized that the Tot situation had gotten out of hand and that Head Tot(C) and T definitely had something going on....

We are all in a club and some of us are officers and junior officers. I am an officer, T is an officer, and the other tot who is neither C nor E is an officer. I will call her S. 

E is a junior officer, C is a junior officer, and M is a junior officer. 

There are other officers and junior officers but are not necessary to mention right now. 

 We as officers decided that it would be a good idea to go on a Korean style MT. So rented a cabin in the woods for a night and went to have a good time. It did not completely go as planned but it was okay. 

So,we only had 2 rooms. Our plan was to put the two guys in the room and Rock, Paper, Scissors or the other room or sleep all together in the living room.

That plan was foiled by our president and her husband who took one of the rooms without asking anyone. We couldn’t say anything we were doing things Korean style so age has final say anyway...

So there’s one room left right and we assume that it’s gonna go to T because he’s a guy.  

We pass most of the night in relative peace but then the others all start drinking and T ends up in his feels because of the alcohol. 

He’s highkey filial and all about the age hierarchy and respect. He apparently had somehow convinced himself that he had wronged the president and her husband in some kind of way and kept apologizing, they kept insisting it was okay and kept apologizing. 

I don’t really know because I was in the living room at the time but when I came back in the kitchen, he had moved to the couch between the living room and the kitchen. He was there with his head down looking like he was crying. 

I don’t do tears so I looked at him, I looked at other one of our mutual friends and she shook her head as she patted him on the back and I kept it moving to the kitchen, only to turn around and go back into the living room. 

She was trying to get him to come to his senses and out of whatever caused him to be that way but he wouldn’t. Her main fear was that the Tots would catch wind and start coddling him and make the situation infinitely worse that it was. 

Not surprisingly, Head Tot (C) came through and started the coddling. Noticing that C was missing, the other Tots set out, true to their formation. It wasn’t long before they were all standing around him and making a scene. He eventually got up and went outside.

The guy just wanted fresh air but C couldn’t leave well enough alone and had to follow him. 

By this point we all know the history of C and T and we know that the were outside the cabin sitting on a bench together. Upon nosy inspection we found out that T was laying with his head in C’s lap. 

Most of us were like just leave them be. But the Tots couldn’t just let Head Tot win like that so they kept coming up with ideas to go outside.

“Maybe he needs Water”

“Maybe they need a blanket”

I was like if they need a blanket they’ll bring their asses inside, giving them one will make them stay. They don’t listen. 

So T and C stayed outside for a good hour. 

When they finally came in it was under the careful supervision of the Tots. They laid him in bed and made sure that he had a bucket to puke in and everything. He eventually went to sleep. 

Later on that night, Drunk E was asked by the Tot Facilitator whom I will call Ti, if she wanted to sleep with T and C. E was like “yeah I want to sleep with my Oppa!” and got put in the bed with T and C(who I did not know was there at the time).

That next morning, all three woke up and no one else was awake. So C and T went back to sleep without E all cuddled up. C’s head tucked under T’s chin, face to face. I have receipts. 

It was them that we realized it was happening and there was highkey no way to stop it. They continued to deny it though so what could we say?

We left the cabin and they continued with their friendship like none of that had ever happened. So, foolishly, I thought it was an isolated incident based on the emotions at the time. 

Nothing weird had been happening since then.

Fast forward like 2 months and it’s the day after many friends went to the club. There was a pregame that C and T attended but left together. Our friend K rode with them back home and had mentioned that K said she wanted to stay the night at C’s place and T like ‘why’ and C was like “I’m tired, I just wanna go to sleep.” So K was like okay and went home.

Next day, it’s after the club and one of our friends named I texts one of the groups chats in Kakao and is like “I just saw T leaving C’s room on my way to the shower”. 

We all freaked, but lowkey expected it but having it actually happen is wild, like I was shook af. 

A mess happened where I proceeded to ask T what he was doing at C’s place and he made it difficult talking about he would tell me later. 

Long story short, he comes in at almost midnight and I’m asking him if he gonna tell me the answer to my question. 

He trying to be all mysterious.

I was like “It’s weird that were just hanging around C’s dorm like that.”

He responds with a mumbled, “Is it weird to go see my girlfriend?”

I was Shookt(yes the t is on purpose). 

He was so casual..

We already knew it was probably a thing...

But like, knowing it’s official...

I shouldn’t really care considering that I already basically knew what was going on but...

[glimpseof-me]

Monday - February 27, 2017

K’s birthday weekend just passed. We went to SD this year.

Honestly, it wasn’t very fun.

I feel like my self esteem has gotten so bad that it affects my social life.

We went to a club there and felt so uncomfortable the whole time. I felt so ugly and I don’t know. Just below everyone I guess.

A few minutes after getting there I went to the restroom and all I could do was cry.

I don’t know why I’m like this……

It’s weird because I know I’m not bad looking. I know this. So why do I feel so ugly? I know I’m a nice girl with a good soul. I know I’m smarter than I think I am. I know this. So why do I feel so badly about who I am as a person?

Some days I feel so sad. Heart wrenchingly sad. I lay in my bad and just cry and cry. I cry so hard it gets hard to breathe. I wake up with swollen eyes and exhausted from all this sadness.

Why am I so sad?

I have a boyfriend I love, and loves me. We do all kinds of things together. We go out, a lot. To bars, the movies, restaurants, have day dates, go on trips every 2-3 months. His family loves me like their own. He just gave me a ring a few months ago which meant the world to me. I have my mother that loves me to death. We talk every single day and goes out of her way to do things for me. She’s truly an angel.

I have my dad who also loves me to death. He always reminds us of this. He’s a great father.

I have my sister that has my back through anything, ever. She’ll take the fall for me if she has to whenever it comes to it. She’s a dope person.

I have everything, yet feel literally nothing but guilt because I’m not a better person for them.

I’m not a trophy girlfriend. I am painfully average looking with average accomplishments. I am just ok.

I’m not a trophy daughter or sister. There isn’t anything my parents can brag about to their coworkers and sisters and brothers when it comes to me. I’m not around often. I don’t do much for them. I’m just….there. Sometimes. I don’t feel like this all the time. Some days are better than others. But even on my good days, it haunts me you know. That feeling is always there in the background.

Maybe I’m just messed up in the head…….

Anyway, continuing the club scene:

I drank a good amount. About 4 margaritas, a shot, and a beer. And we had pregamed before so, I was feeling it. I feel like I should’ve been drunker than I was. But I always say this lol.

K was pretty wasted. There was a point that he had to run to the restroom to throw up lol. The thing that really got to me was that he kept drinking and even got sloppy. When we’d walk somewhere he’d bump people almost on purpose. A few guys even told him something and he’d have a confrontation with. There was a couple guys that this happened with. One was with a guy that was really wasted. I mean wasted to the point where he was stumbling and couldn’t even really talk. He was checking out K’s cousins girlfriend, which by the way looks like a model. 5’7, slim thick, long legs, long hair and a really pretty face to complete the package. She’s kind of a bitch though…..Back to K: another confrontation was this this guy that got pissed because K sorta shoved him when he was passing by. I didn’t want anything to happen so I pulled K away and that set him off. He got so bothered by it. He pulled me aside and yelled at me to not to do that ever. It hurt my feelings because I was just looking after him. And for him to react to it like that? I didn’t think it was fair. And I didn’t want to argue because I knew he was drunk. Also, while we were at the club, K and his cousin went to the restroom and so I decided to go too meanwhile. I got out first and I bought some drinks for K and I and waited by the bar. Few minutes passed and I look over and I see the guys checking girls out. It hurt my feelings so much. Why doesn’t he look at me like that? I know I’m not as attractive and sexy and other women but, I’m his. Crave me. In a room full of girls, why don’t I catch your attention… He was being obnoxious on the way back as well. K’s cousin threw up on the way back to our hotel and I got charged $150 extra. Which was irritating at first but he paid me back today so now it’s whatevs. When K and I got back into the room, he was starting to get all touchy and I just was not in the mood. I didn’t want to tell him no and have him get all upset so I told him I was going to wash off my make up and get comfortable and then we could lay down together. I washed my face, changed and even left the faucet on a little while so he’d fall asleep. After a while of not hearing anything, I peeked and I see him hanging over the bed with throw up all over his face and hair and all over the bed sheets and floor. I was like, great. As I cleaned his face and hair with a warm damp towel, he looked at me and told me he loved me as sincere as a drunk man could. Something about it kind of struck me. If it makes sense. I had him get up and as soon as he got on his feet, he ran to the restroom and threw up again. He was so wasted. I had him lay on his side while I cleaned up his throw up. It was gross, but not gross because it was his. Which I know totally sounds gross. I got into bed and had him lay on my chest. I sat there and loved him. Loved him for all his ugliness(not physically), and loved him for all his beauty. I totally should’ve taken advantage and punched him in his drunk sleep. I kept waking up all night to make sure he was okay. Which was kind of overreacting because we’ve been drunker together dozens of times. In the morning, K woke up and wanted to cuddle and he was trying to hug me and I was annoyed because of the night before. He said he didn’t remember much, he didn’t even remember throwing up. I talked shit to him for a brief moment and ruined his mood. Felt bad but hey, I’m allowed to voice how I feel…. Right? We were quiet the rest of the day, even on the way home. Before I left I told him to just tell me what bothered him so we could talk about it. He claims that he thought we all had a really cool night but I shitted on it by the things I said in the morning. I really dislike that about him. Why do things so easily fixable piss him off so much and “ruins” everything for him. It’s uncalled for and stupid. And I tell him all the time. All we have to do is sit down, talk about it, find a happy medium, better from it, and get over it. Its so easy yet so hard for him. UGH!

Okay, enough about the weekend.

I’ve been thinking about posting in my tumblr again. I went through it today and it feels like I’ve changed so much since. I deleted 98% of everything. All the posts, pictures, all the things I’ve reblogged. I kinda regret it now. I should’ve kept everything. I liked posting my diary everyday and getting replies and all kinds of questions. I liked feeling like it was an outlet to let everything out. Maybe I’ll start posting my diary here again… I was thinking, there should be a way to save peoples blogs. We should be able to upload the whole thing into a USB stick so we could look through it years from now. Maybe someday in the future…

OK, gotta get back to work.

-Til tomorrow.