#I am actually crying silently and it's low key embarrassing but also so wonderful

[lilyharvord]

Update

Looking at the final copy of my book at 2 am today August 3, 2022, literally just looking at it and seeing seven years of work, three unfinished trashed drafts, one finished draft that was trashed, a second draft that I picked to pieces, and a third and final one that I shared with very close friends to help me edit. And now this final copy.

It feels unreal. I’m not going to lie, I am crying over her. For the longest time I never thought I would finish this daunting task. Aria’s story always seemed so impossible to tell, but here it is, in my hands. Her story has begun, and the first part of it is closed and ready. It is literally surreal. My query letter is all typed up, and ready to be emailed/mailed out with the final draft. My pitch is ready, and I have begun drawing maps. God, I have chills, I never thought, I really never thought I would see this day. There is still so far to go, but this morning, I get to stand on top of the first mountain and see the sunrise and it has never looked fucking brighter :)))))))))

[imaginativeamateur]

can you do 30 with kakashi and a fem reader pls 🥺🤲 I love your work and am so happy for you regarding your follower milestone, congrats !!

[Kakashi Hatake X Reader] The Power of Love

|200 Followers Event|

Prompt: 30 — "I mean it."

Pairing: Kakashi Hatake x fem!Reader

Note: Aloha, I'm back!!! Thanks for the request and the cheers😝 Okay, this one is AHHH, the title :DD This one is very sentimental but playful at the same time. There's like some serious talk but also entertaining moments, too. Without further ado, please enjoy!

Constant requests that you get married were sent in your way for the past several months. Your parents were tired of having to wait to see you bring a man home, but you had no intention to comply. The topic would come up to the table during dinner every now and then, with your mother furrowing in her brows and your father sighing in distress. On your part, you played cool, soothing them that you just found a guy and dismissing the matter with a feigned grin.

Everything would be ordinary, much to your own liking until your parents secretly signed you up for a match-matching service. You had a big argument that night but they smugly smiled and ensured that you would fall in love with him immediately. It was ridiculous.

“You’d be head over heels in no time, Y/N,” your mother said.

“Like she knows who he is,” you mumbled, scoffing on your way back to your apartment.

Though you completely shut the door to the new romance—the guy that you presumably knew nothing about—you woke up earlier than usual, earlier than you should. You blamed it on your neighbor’s child crying but you discerned that you were being irrational. The whole situation was aberrant. You purposefully threw on a pair of jeans and a shirt that was too worn out for a first date. Still, you could not be any more careless, the last thing you wanted was to get the man to generate some form of adoration for you. You checked yourself in the mirror and made sure that you looked representable nonetheless.

The sun was already high up in the sky when you locked your door and tiredly dropped the keys into your handbag, storming to the destination with angry steps. It was your day off and you could have spent your time on something much more meaningful, training, for example. Kakashi-senpai said you still needed to hone your close combat skills. You pursed your lips at the thought of the Hatake, feeling even more enraged and annoyed. The said Shinobi was a nice guy, he was gentle and mannered with everyone but you. He treated you like his kid, bossing you around, requesting you to dig through the shelves of bookstores to find the limited edition of Icha Icha that was recently published. But you did not quit being his subordinate. Kakashi had everything that you needed to harness, from his skills to knowledge, and you would never let such a golden opportunity go wasted.

Being with him for two long years brought you many benefits and visible improvements, one of them being your patience. You were short-tempered and Kakashi was just the perfect tame to your boiling climate. The silver-haired veteran knew you were cantankerous on some days, like today, when you were having an involuntary sunbathing session, and would always be later than he usually would. Over the drenching months, you grew indifferent to his tardiness, adapted to his peculiar conscience of time, and no longer rambled when he arrived. He would come up with the most bizarre excuses to get away with it, and at first, you were furious about it, but you found them somewhat adorable now.

You smiled, wondering why you were recalling your moments with Kakashi when you were waiting for your date to come. You bit the inner side of your cheek when you realized your patience was running thin—it reminded you of your silver-haired senpai. Releasing a shaky breath, you calmed yourself down, assuring that you would apologize to the man that it was merely a misunderstanding with your parents that they signed you up for today. You rubbed the surface of the table with your fingers and let your thoughts carried you away at the moment, unconsciously drumming the rhythm of your favorite song—his favorite song that you grew accustomed to after years of the very special silver-haired occupying your day.

“You seem nervous.”

Your head perked at the unexpectedly familiar voice, “Kakashi-senpai?”

The silver-haired settled himself in the opposite seat with ease, “Good morning, Y/N.”

“What are you doing here?” You did not bother to greet him back properly due to the tremendous shock being registered into your system.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to… to,” you came to a halt, fumbling with the hem of your shirt when you found it impossible to continue. It was embarrassing.

“Blind date?” He questioned, quirking a brow.

Your cheeks heated up in modesty, unable to answer his beseech.

“That seems like a yes,” Kakashi leaned back, enjoying your flustered state, “I’m here for a blind date, too.”

“A what?”

“A blind date,” he repeated without failing to lose his composure.

It took you several seconds to comprehend the whole situation, then you shifted in your chair, propping your elbows onto the table to hide your blush, “This is such an… interesting encounter. But I won’t change my mind.”

You were fairly absolute with the plan to turn the whole thing down, despite whoever was your date, despite it being Kakashi Hatake. You did not want to risk the bond that took you so long to form with him and the trust that he enlisted you upon. You could not.

“I also came resolute,” he made a simple, yet down-to-earth statement. Kakashi caught your eyes and challenged, “What do you want to do after a coffee date?”

“No,” you jerked away, “what are you saying? Are you okay, senpai?”

“We’re on a date and you still call me senpai?”

“Look, we’re not going to do this, we can’t, Kakashi,” you tried to explain but to no avail.

The silver-haired smugly smiled, “Good, Kakashi sounds much nicer.”

“I’m not joking,” you cleared your throat and glared at him.

“Neither am I, Y/N. I mean it.”

Your lips fell apart as the coherence in your mind shattered into bits and pieces. Kakashi silently observed the fleeting expressions that you made, waiting for your response.

“I don’t know,” you stuttered. You knew who Kakashi was and the tragedy of your occupation. The two of you did not deserve anyone’s love, for once that you held the chance of breaking their heart. You looked away from his eyes to conceal the wavering of your emotions, “I never thought about life in that way. I don’t need a man in my life, that’s what I’d like to believe. I don’t want anyone to feel battered when I’m gone.”

“I hate it to see those I love cry and mourn, too,” he mumbled. You listened attentively as though it was yourself confessing to the dark. Kakashi continued, “I only live for a certain amount of time but I have been constantly filling it with despair and loneliness. There were things that I want to do and people that I want to love, but because of my fear of hurting them, I didn’t. But after the massive loss that I’ve experienced, everything was different, I understood how painful regret actually is.”

Tears began to well in your eyes the more his words dropped. You balled your fists, blinking profusely to prevent the warm droplets from escaping. Kakashi noticed your quiet sobs, running his fingers over your trembling hands, loosening your grip, and interlacing your fingers with his. You released a heavy sigh and pulled both your hands back, wiping away your tears as quickly as when they fell and dampened the fabric of your jeans.

“You’re not at the bottom of agony when you lose someone important,” Kakashi breathed, “it’s when you feel empty after they’ve left and mourning on what you could’ve done when they were still with you.”

Your sobs eventually assuaged as you chewed on his words. The silver-haired distracted himself by stirring the liquid of his drink, but he was in no state to enjoy its taste. He already said everything he wanted to say, and the decision was now fully on your shoulders. But by your lack of response, he was sure that you did not see your relationship taking another form—the way that he wished. He abruptly stood up from his seat, fleeting on his feet, “Let’s forget about what’s happened. I mean I still respect you as my teammate, Y/N. Don’t forget our meeting tomorrow.”

“No-no, Kakashi-senpai, wait,” you moved, hastily shoving your hands in his direction, gripping his wrist like a vice. You hung your head low to avoid his investigating gaze as you spoke, “I do.”

His gears in his head turned, and Kakashi smiled with satisfaction, “You do what?”

Your heart was beating frantically in your chest, so fast that you felt its rapid pumps in your throat. You stuttered out, voice growing quieter the more you expressed, “I-I want to go out with you, senpai—”

“Drop the ‘senpai’ already,” he playfully hissed and you grinned, certain that you just made the best choice of your life. Kakashi leaned down and rested his chin on your shoulder blade, snuggling his face into your neck, “Thank you, Y/N. Thank you for letting me love you.”

------------------

Taglist: @dai-tsukki-desu @thenightfallingstar @iam-gaaras-loveintrest @animepickle7 @tirzamisu @rinnegankakashi

[lunatens]

since we’re alone

word count: 1.7k

genre: angst + fluff

pairing: hwang hyunjin x gender neutral reader

requested by...too many people to count ksjdfbskg 

a/n: im so sorry this took so long, i think like 10+ people asked for me to write a sequel (which is kind of a lot considering tmta has like..less than 100 notes lmao) but i really struggled to find the motivation til now ;-; i really hope you guys like the direction i decided to take this!! also yes i did name this series after niall horan songs what about it

*this is a sequel to “too much to ask” so if you haven’t read that, you probably should read it first!*

-

confusion hits you as the rosy glow of the morning sun lands on your face. why the hell is it so bright? you groan as you pry open your sleepy eyes only to see the sunrise blazing through the large windows of your living room, and the memories of last night’s events come back to you. your head hurts a bit; probably a mixture of the morning light, the alcohol you had last night, and then crying yourself to sleep. 

you rub the sleep from your eyes, surprised to see a blanket you don’t remember using falling to the floor as you stretch. you reach for your phone on the coffee table to check the time—too early to be awake, dammit—only to notice a glass of water right there. yeah, that definitely wasn’t there when you fell asleep. picking it up, the cool condensation leaves your fingers wet to the touch, and the icy water feels nice on your throat. 

your eyes begin to water as more and more of what happened last night comes back you—in particular the words you said to him in your drunken state. a tsunami of guilt washes over you, mixed with lingering waves of anger and hurt. taking another sip of the water, you try to calm down and think about things. maybe it’s best to talk to hyunjin about this and tell him everything that’s on your mind now that you’re sober. yeah, that’ll work. 

you groggily stand up from the couch, pulling the blanket over your shoulders like a cape and letting it drag along the floor as you tentatively walk to the bedroom. the door swings open with a quiet creak, and you bite your lip nervously. 

“hyunjin?” you call into the darkness, voice loud enough to wake him but gentle enough not to startle him. you’re met with silence, and you frown as your eyes adjust a bit to the darkness only to see an empty bed in front of you, cotton sheets carelessly thrown aside. your heart sinks deep into your chest, the small rays of hope and forgiveness quickly fading. gone to practice again, you’re not even sure if he’ll be back until later and even then he might not return at all, considering what you said to him last night. your heart feels like it’s been torn in two; you were ready to talk things out with hyunjin and work towards a solution, already ready to forgive him, so seeing him leave just like any other day sends daggers through your heart. 

“he could’ve at least made the bed,” you grumble to yourself, haphazardly throwing the sheets and pillow back to where they belong. as you do so, you can’t help but wonder if maybe it really is for the best if you just end things with him. sure, there are lots of great moments with hyunjin and you have so many special memories together, not to mention the fact that you’re completely head over heels in love with him, but as high as the highs in your relationship feel, the lows are just as extreme, if not even more so. you check your phone again, the lack of any sort of message from hyunjin helping you make up your mind; when he hopefully comes home tonight, you’ll break things off with him.

you shuffle back out to the living room, now brightly lit by the fully-risen morning sun. flopping down on the couch, you grab the remote so you can look for something mindless to watch; maybe it’ll help take your mind off of the impending doom that ticks ever closer to you, since you’re too antsy to go back to sleep. you’re about to turn the tv on when a loud thump at the door startles you into dropping the remote. you turn to look at the door, peerings over the couch wide-eyed as you hear keys fumbling in the lock before the handle clicks and the door swings open. when hyunjin’s tall frame quietly enters the room, you think your heart must’ve stopped beating for a moment. your emotions are in turmoil as a million questions and thoughts race through your mind; what’s he doing back so early? do i still break up with him? where did he go if not practice and schedules? and what’s in that box??

hyunjin gently places a white box on the nearest surface before putting his jacket and mask away. you don’t think he’s noticed you’re awake yet, as he seems to be trying his best to be silent. you almost giggle at the thought, but then you remember you’re mad at him and you just continue curiously watching his actions. he finally turns to peek over at the couch, expecting to see your still sleeping form, so when his eyes meet yours he’s a bit taken aback. 

“oh, um, goodmorning y/n,” he greets, a little bit awkward. you can tell he’s having trouble reading your emotions and he’s trying to tread carefully, so you remain quiet to see what he’s up to. he picks up the box in both hands and walks over to you, placing the box on the table beside your empty water glass and sitting down beside you. you turn to look at him, expression neutral as he furrows his eyebrows and takes your hands in his. 

“y/n, i am so, so sorry for what happened yesterday. i-i know that doesn’t cut it, but i can’t even describe to you how sorry i am. i love you so so much, and i really don’t want to lose you. i understand if you don’t feel the same and you’d rather just en-end it, but i want to do whatever it takes to keep you in my life.”

you didn’t even notice you were crying until his thumb is swiping away a tear on your cheek. he leaves his hand up against your face, and you can’t help but lean into his touch. 

“you’ve been so supportive of me following my dreams and being an idol, and i’ve been awful at showing you how much you mean to me. so i’m taking today off, i’ve told chan what happened and he said he’ll cover for me, so now i can be here with you. is...is that okay?” hyunjin asks, eyes searching yours to try and read what your tears mean--are you sad? do you hate him forever? 

all you can think to do right now is lean forward to capture his lips in a deep kiss. as soon as your lips touch you can feel the relief wash through both yourself and him. he pulls you closer and wraps his arms tight around you as if he’s never letting go. you pull apart with a soft giggle, wiping your tears away and gently smiling.

“i love you too, jinnie. we can make this work, just please-please don’t make promises you can’t keep ever again, ok?” you ask as you squeeze him in a tight hug, breathing in the welcoming scent of his sweater. he kisses your forehead and lightly caresses your tear-stained cheek.

“deal,” he says, and the two of you just lie there in each other’s arms in silence, your arms wrapped tightly around hyunjin’s torso and his fingers tracing circles on your back. you’re overwhelmed with emotions right now, and you hardly know what to think, but you’re relieved to have hyunjin back in your arms. suddenly, you remember you still don’t know where he went this morning.

“what’s in the box?” you ask as you pull away to examine it, reaching out to touch the white cardboard.

“ah, i mean it’s nothing really, i mean it’s a day late anyways and it’s so early i could hardly find anywhere that was open, let alone actually had something decent,” hyunjin rambles as you open the lid to see a small cake inside with “happy birthday y/n! sorry i ruined your birthday” written in purple icing. the sight makes your heart swell with happiness and you can’t hold back the smile in your face. 

“you got up this early just to get me a cake?” you ask in excitement; if this is hyunjin’s way of making things up to you, it’s definitely working. 

“not just a cake,” he says nervously as he pulls a smaller white box out of his pocket and hands it to you. opening it, you see a delicate silver chain necklace with a tiny locket on it. inside the locket is a super dumb picture of you and hyunjin from back when your first started dating, and the word “stay” is engraved on the back. you blink furiously, trying and failing to rid yourself of the tears filling your eyes.

“i was gonna give this to you yesterday, but i felt like it might not have been the bets time...and i know it’s kind of cheesy, but i wanted you to always have something to remember me by when i’m away. i got one for myself too so you’ll be with me too, i’m gonna try to even sneak it with me on stage so you’ll always be by my side,” he says, cheeks flushed with embarrassment but that just makes the moment even sweeter. 

“i love it so much, hyunjin, thank you,” is all you can say in fear you’ll burst into tears if you speak any more words. you lean in to press another kiss to his soft lips, this time lingering so you can savour this moment. hyunjin helps you put the locket around your neck, and you do the same for him, smiling shyly at each other.

“so what do you say we dig into this cake and get the day started?” hyunjin asks.

“but it’s so early to eat cake!” you respond, to which hyunjin shrugs his shoulders. 

“who cares, we have the whole day to spend together and we can do whatever the hell we want,” he says with a smile, and you couldn't be happier to have hyunjin in your life.

[hisunshiine]

Escape ✈︎ Chapter 6

✈︎ chapter 6: But I Still Want You Pt. 1       | ✈︎ Escape Series — 18+, Mature  

    ✈︎ genre: angst

    ✈︎ word count: 1898 words

    ✈︎ pairing: Jin x YN

    ✈︎ warnings: personal issues with abandonment, YN is a foster child, healthy attachment issues, crying

    ✈︎ summary: It's time for you to make your decision about the island: stay or go? Some people make the decision harder for you than it should be.

| series masterlist | previous | next | hisunshiine | mrsparkjimin18 |

You can’t believe that you won the GA and were invited to Bangtania Island, not to mention that once you arrived here, you were let in on the secret that this is also a secret getaway location for the guys?! You truly love it here, and feel so accepted and appreciated by everyone, like you have a family and friends again. The life you left behind wasn’t much of a life so to say. You worked a basic job, you had no family, having been a foster child your whole life, and you had no real connection with anybody. When you found BTS and Army, that was the closest you ever felt to having family.

Unfortunately, having the life you’ve had, you begin to feel yourself wanting to isolate again. Nobody has actually done anything to make you feel you need to, but you are afraid of being abandoned. You’ve always had that fear, been afraid that people will leave you, so you put up walls so that people don’t get too close. You also tend to run from anybody that tries and gets too close, unsure of their reasons. You weren’t putting out any signs that you wanted people close, so you thought, so you were wary of anyone who tried to breach the walls you had built. It was safer that way. When people made attempts to get closer than you wanted them to, that was your cue to jump ship. It was better to leave them.

You have dated, but as soon as they try to get too intimate, and not in the sexual way, you run away. Sex, that was easy. Growing up with your circumstances, you weren’t ever taught the same ideals about virginity and sex like people who were from ‘loving’ families appeared to be. No mom and dad trying to convince you that sex was sacred, or meant for just one person for your entire life. You had the normal education, very cut and dry, and scientific. Penis, meet vagina: insert here. And as you got older you learned it could also be penis meet anus, or vagina meet vagina, or mouth meet anus, mouth meet penis, and the oh so wonderful mouth meet vagina.  So being physical with someone wasn’t deemed as intimate as actually letting people into who you were. What your thoughts and feelings were. It was that level of opening up and letting people in that was scary. You knew this from childhood that it’s a lot less painful when you decide to walk away, versus someone walking away from you.

It’s currently your twelfth day here. And now you only have two more days to decide whether you want to stay or head back to your life of unattached isolation. You have truly enjoyed your time here thus far, there really is the feeling of peace and serenity, able to share in the familiar love with everyone of BTS. That’s a safe area for you. Love for BTS can’t hurt you. At the same time, you still feel a sense of solidarity, like you are surrounded by people yet you still feel alone. You decide you are going to hurry to the restaurant to get something to-go before you head back to your temporary living quarters.

On the way there, you remember the first time you saw Jin in person.

“So here is a map of the island, everything is color-coded and in the map key. I think your first agenda should be to unpack and then meet us down at Jin’s restaurant.” Vanessa hands you your map and copies of your NDA and other rules and regulations to be followed on the island.

Once you unpack your belongings, you take a short detour before heading to the restaurant. You are enchanted by the happiness of everyone that is here, enjoying the private island, and the guys. You haven’t really witnessed any arguments or issues, and that brings you solace, but you still keep your guard up.

When you enter the restaurant, Talia notices you and waves you over to their booth, “Hey! Y/N! Over here! We almost ordered without you.” She laughed, then introduced you to Dahlia and Xael.

You all order your food and carry on with small talk, you ask questions about different activities you saw in your guide for the island, and then you see him. Jin came walking out of the kitchen, wiping the sweat from his forehead with a towel. He was talking to one of the residents that helps him out in the restaurant.

He turned his head and your eyes met, it seemed like an eternity, but it only lasted about 10 seconds. He smiled, you blushed, then he went back into the kitchen.

When your food was ready, Jin made sure to help your waitress bring your food to the table. “Hello ladies,” he said with a gentle smile, blushing when he looks at you. “A new arrival I see. Well I am Seokjin, the Bangtania Island Chef. If you are ever hungry, come to my restaurant, if I’m not here, the you can come to the dorm...I mean, when we have parties, I always cook for that as well. Anyway, enjoy your meals ladies,” he winks at you as he places your plate in front of you.

How could you know that would lead to you eating there everyday, just to steal a glance of him, or have him smile and wink at you. All of the silent and distant flirting, that you feel would never go anywhere, and you want to keep it that way.

You walk into the restaurant and stand at the to-go counter, but it’s pretty quiet. You have been waiting for about 10 minutes, being consumed by your thoughts, until the grumbling in your stomach reminds you that you are waiting to order food. You are surprised that nobody has come to help you, especially since the whole time that you’ve been in Bangtania everyone has been super helpful and attentive. But then you get worried, so you head behind the counter to check the kitchen. Maybe Jin closed early and forgot to lock up, you aren’t sure, you just want to make sure everything is okay.

You open the swinging door to the kitchen, probably with a little too much force in your worried state.

“Whoa, whoa!”

It’s all you hear before the pile of dishes crashes to the floor, causing you to scream.

“Jin-ah I am so sorry! I didn’t mean to frighten you, I was just here to order food to-go, and --”

He cuts you off.

“Frighten me? You were the one who was scared! Hahaha! I was just putting these dishes away and you swung the door into me.”

You feel the tears well up in your eyes, and you try to hold them back but they begin streaming down your face.

“Hey, it’s okay, you don’t have to cry. I’m not mad, we have many more dishes to replace these ones. Just please don’t cry.”

He grabs a clean towel from the shelf and begins to softly blot the tears from your cheeks. He has a look on his face of worry, as if your sudden tears were a shock to him. You reckon they were. You drop your head in embarrassment, though he softly grabs your chin with his thumb and forefinger and lifts your head back up. Your eyes meet his brown ones, taking in the way that his eyebrows are furrowed together, his lips softly parted creating his beautiful look of concern directed towards you.

“I told you, I’m not mad, now clean your face and help me pick this up. Then we can sit and have a meal together. I haven’t eaten since breakfast and that is a long time for me, you know?”

You giggle, because you do know. Jin loves to eat.

After you finish salvaging the dishes that did not break and sweeping up the ones that did, Jin says he has something special to make you. You make your way to a booth in the corner of the restaurant furthest from the windows, the most secluded booth in the whole restaurant. When Jin comes out with a tray, he scans the restaurant for you.

“Y/N?” His voice is loud, trying to find you.

“Did she leave? After I made her this delicious food, she runs off?” You hear him mutter under his breath, but not low enough that you don’t hear him.

When he turns to head back to the kitchen, he sees you sitting in the hidden booth, shoulders bounce from giggling so hard.

“You think that’s funny? I make this food and you have me to believe you left? Oh, hahaha…” He laughs with you as he sets the food on the table. He pulls off his apron and joins you at the booth, you both begin eating in silence. After a while he asks, “Y/N, you’ve been here almost two weeks, what do you think so far?”

You shove a dumpling in your mouth, as you are not ready to answer that question. He smiles encouragingly, his bee-stung lips surrounding his perfect smile, and you feel yourself wanting to open up. But you can’t. You only want to show him your best side. I guess that’s something you have in common with them.

“Oh, it’s great! You guys really spoil us here.”

He nods, happy to hear your positive feedback, not realizing it’s shallow. You want to elaborate. The words are on the tip of your tongue to tell him that yes, they spoil you here and you love it, but a part of you is scared to really fall in love with it, to truly believe you’ve found a place you can call home that has a new family that’s perfect for you already waiting. Who gets that lucky in life? Not you. So you tuck away your fears, and keep it surface level with him.

The rest of your night was lovely; it was easy to tuck away the thoughts that had been so prominent before spending time with Jin. He was someone who tried his best to make sure that everyone was comfortable. You had known this about him since prior to meeting him, watching him on RunBTS and Bon Voyage, he had that caring, nurturing way about him that drew you in, and made everything appear better in the aura he cast out. He made it easy, which you knew would make it that much harder.

That night you lay awake long past the last sounds of your housemate have dissipated and watch as the ceiling fan circles and circles. You always thought that it was safe, that loving BTS was safe. Friends over the internet, they didn’t have to know you completely. You could take days off and come back when you wanted, no one really depending on you. No one actually knows your deepest secrets and thoughts. Those were kept safely tucked away, behind lock and key deep within your heart.

You could have sworn that love for BTS couldn’t hurt you. Hindsight is definitely 20/20, as you lay curled on your side, looking out the window at the reflection of the moon on the ocean, tears streaming down onto your pillow, it hurts.

↣ all rights reserved © hisunshiine & mrsparkjimin18 2020-2021. please do not repost. translations & modifications are not allowed.

[hqwritings]

Random Haikyuu headcanons Bc it’s 2 AM

I PROMISE ILL GET BACK TO REGULAR REQUESTS BUT PLS JUST LET ME GET THESE IDEAS OUT FIRST-

Also this might just be me getting all my Yamayachi feelings out because I love them-

Warnings: spoilers! Mentions of porn, Bara tiddies, and Ushijima being an absolute dork

-Yachi speaks incredible English post time skip. She just kinda picked it up?? I know it’s canon that she does well in English class but by the time she’s an adult, she’s nearly mastered it. It helps when she’s talking to foreign clients plus it’s just a neat skill to have

-Kiyoko actually can’t cook and it’s Ryuu that usually does the cooking in their house. She tries so hard to cook but she honestly just can’t wrap her head around it. For a while it made her feel bad, she just wanted to make all of Ryuu’s favorite meals, but he assures her that everything’s perfectly fine and that he’d be more than happy to be in the kitchen and impress her w all his sweet chef skills (he most definitely has one of those “kiss the cook” aprons and he uses it as an excuse to get kisses despite the fact that Kiyoko will happily give them to him even w/o the apron)

-Sugawara refuses for admit it, but he’s secretly a kpop Stan. He likes most popular groups like BTS and Black pink but he’ll happily listen to any group if somebody suggests it to him or he finds the album covers interesting (or he finds one of the members hot bc same) Multiple people, including Kiyoko and Yamaguchi, have caught him listening to kpop or have caught him in public in some weird/shitty disguise buying an album the same manner someone would buy crack, but they have yet to say anything about it

-Yamaguchi and Yachi have gone on multiple pseudo-dates. Yamaguchi will ask to hang out somewhere with Yachi as his plus one because Tsukki’s busy so they go and they hang out and it’s awesome. I say pseudo-date because while Yamaguchi’s still definitely crushing on Yachi, he doesn’t call it a date because he’s never explicitly stated it as such (plus he feels a little unfair about it since he was planning on bringing Tsukki in the first place)

-Ushijima keeps a lot of plants in his house post timeskip and he talks to them as if they’re people. He names all of his succulents after his high school teammates because he’s soft like that but his favorite one is obviously named Satori. He has absolutely sent Tendou messages about these plants and Tendou thinks his heart is going to burst when Ushijima tells him he named one after him.

-Speaking of plants. Ushijima once accidentally killed his cactus by dropping it and a single tear dripped from his eye before he full blown started silently sobbing on the floor. The plant had a name and everything and he just wanted to put it in a better spot- how could he have done this WHY HIM. Amidst this breakdown he urgently FaceTimes Tendou and when he picks up to see Ushijima crying he’s ready to fight someone but when Ushijima disstressedly tells him that he had killed his cactus (“I’m a murderer Satori-“) Tendou couldnt help but want to laugh at how cute he was being. He didn’t though, and instead offered his comfort and condolences (“He’s in a better place Ushiwaka- shh, it’s ok-“)

-Natsu once went through Shoyo’s stuff, probably looking for something that he borrowed from her, and she found a whole bunch of magazine pages and corners sticking out from his bed. She was so scared and was preparing herself to find some hella raunchy over the top porn but instead she found multiple crumpled issues of Volleyball Monthly. She doesn’t know whether to feel relieved that Shōyō isn’t into that stuff or sad because that boy is literally the embodiment of “head empty, no thought, only volleyball” - no wonder why he’s still single

-Ushijima and Aone can both do that weird thing where they move their pecs individually. Aone likes to use it to occasionally freak out Futakuchi and Koganegawa for some odd reason begs Aone to teach him how to do it too. Futakuchi dies a little more on the inside every time he sees them “training. As for Ushijima, he just kinda does it one time and ofc Tendou sees and suddenly time that was supposed to be spent changing out of uniform became everyone crowding around Ushijima’s pecs to witness them in all their glory

-Tsukkishima and Yamaguchi are both MONSTERS at DDR. Them and the other first years all went out to an arcade to fool around one time and there was a DDR machine so they jumped on and started fucking KILLING it to the point that they had all the little middle schoolers crowding around them in awe and while Tsukki is low key embarrassed about it, Yamaguchi feels absolutely amazing and does multiple jumps and spins and maybe even winks at Yachi because that’s how cool it makes him feel. For one of their pseudo-dates he takes her back again to play DDR and it’s really cute

[upinthestarsx3]

Off Limits (m) part 6

Professor!reader x College student!Jungkook au

Genre: short series|smut|mostly angst|fluff in future|au

Word count: 3.4k

Warnings: Explicit language, mature content, including some  masturbation and voyeurism in this chapter.

Summary: You’re fresh out of college having just received your masters degree in Math. You begin working at a nearby college and meet your headstrong student, Jungkook. After a drunk hookup; things get complicated.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

a/n: It’s been so long. Ugh I just fixed so many typos so apologies to anyone who read before I edited lmao. This chapter was fun to write. Enjoy and sorry i’m so flaky with posting more often!

The drive to Jungkook’s house is a blur. You sped through the main road knowing that he would also be on his way home; it was a race that you had to win.

When you arrive, your fingers run over the smooth keypad; trying every combination that might possibly get you into his fancy high tech building.

“Baby.” You hear someone whisper from behind you, letting out heavy breaths as if he’d just ran a mile.

You don’t need to turn back to know that it’s Jungkook, “Leave me alone.” You demand through pursed lips; your fingers still running rapidly on the keypad.

“You’re going to set off the alarm, y/n.” He speaks up again, his tone stern as he held his keycard in his hand. This time you turn towards him, confused that he used your actual name instead of calling you baby; the nickname you grew to love hearing from him.

“Let me in; I need my things.” Your words spill from your mouth like venom, and your glare holds nothing but disgust in them.

“Not until we talk.” He tells you, instead of asking.

A look of disbelief washes over your face, you place your hands on your hips and shake your head from side to side,

“No! I don’t want to talk. I want my things.”

He lets out a loud exhale as he rolls his eyes,

“Y/N, please stop being dramatic. I’m sorry, okay? Where will you go if you leave tonight?” He grills you, walking towards you to take your hand in his; but you quickly snatch it away, catching him off guard. His hand drops to his side, his eyebrows creasing deeply as he takes his keycard and swipes it for you.

The two of you walk quietly side by side to his front door. He reaches for his keys and pauses for a minute; taking a long look at you with fluttering eyes, and you see that same admiration in them.

“What, Jungkook?” You whine, eyes rolling as you quickly break eye contact with him.

“I love you.” He whispers, “and I don’t want you to leave me.”

“I don’t even think you know what love is,” you reply bluntly. He doesn’t acknowledge your insult as he finally opens the door and allows you to walk inside.

He watches you sadly as you gather your things, sitting at the edge of the bed while rubbing his sweaty palms against his jeans.

“Will you stay if I tell you what happened between me and Taehyung? Is that why you’re upset?”

“If you don’t know why I’m upset then we really have nothing to talk about.”

“You always try to make me seem like the problem, y/n. All I do is treat you well and you drag me along like a fucking rag doll because you know I love you.” He mumbles before he breaks into sobs. It takes all your might to stay put and not rush to his side and embrace him until his sadness passes, but you don’t- you refuse to feed into this any longer.

“I’m not going to let you manipulate me. Not this time, Jungkook.” Standing your ground as you hold several boxes in your hand.

“Everyone always fucking leaves me.” He sounds wounded, broken even. You wonder if he’s been this intense since the two of you first started dating.

You stand awkwardly by the door, silent for a few minutes, debating if you should even say anything at all,

“Hey.” You call out to him.

“Just go.” He croaks, turning his face away from you as his tears continue to flow freely.

“Kookie, look at me. This is not healthy. I’m so sorry that I let it go on; I should have never crossed that line. You are my student, and I am your professor. That is all it will ever be from this point forward.”

He rolls his eyes and gives you an incredulous look,

“Baby, you and I both know we can’t go back to that, not after I’ve been inside you-“

“Stop it.” You cut him off, twisting the door knob to leave before glancing back at him once more, telling him, “I don’t like who you’re becoming.”

**

Jungkook skipped 3 classes during the week, no emails, no texts, and no calls. The same paranoia that drove you crazy once before, crept its way back in once again. You hand back quizzes to your class, ignoring the awkward glances from both Jimin and Taehyung.

Are you on campus?

You can’t just keep missing classes.

Stop ignoring me! It’s immature.

He reads every message and leaves you read, which only fuels your anger. You continue class with a smile plastered on your face while you glance to your phone every once in a while.

Halfway through class the door swings open, and in walks Jungkook with another female student whom hasn’t been present from class; and they walk in hand in hand. None of them spare any glances your way and you clench your fists tightly by your sides,

“You two think it’s okay to just walk into class 35 minutes late and not even apologize?” You practically growl.

“Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry. I was distracted, it won’t happen again!” Mina apologizes sincerely. Not that it made you feel any better. You look to Jungkook and raise your eyebrows, waiting for him to explain himself.

“What?” He snaps loudly, embarrassing you as the group of students look from him to you, waiting for your response.

“See me after class,” you reply, turning your back to everyone and facing the board to finish the problem on the board.

“Or what?” He sarcastically talks back, “You’ll punish me?”

You snap your head towards his direction a shocked expression as you watch him lick his lips with low sultry looking eyes- all while having his arm around Mina.

Glancing to your phone you see that it’s 20 minutes too early to end class, but end it anyway,

“Have a good weekend, guys. Remember, midterms next week; I’ll email you all an exact date this weekend.”

Students quickly dart from their seats and out of the classroom, excited for the weekend, presumably.

“Jungkook, I told you to stay after class.” You demand, staring daggers through him. He rolls his eyes dramatically and tells Mina he would text her later.

“Why are you acting like this?” You ask in a small voice, looking away from him and towards the floor.

He stands there and stares down at you, a stoic expression on his face,

“Why am I acting like this? You mean getting together with someone that will actually appreciate me?”

“I meant why are you missing classes, showing up late, and being rude to me in front of everyone.” Of course you were upset about him dating Mina, but you’d never admit that to him. This seems to bother him, his face turning into one of confusion.

“Fuck you, y/n.”

“No fuck you, asshole! I’m so sick of you and your childish games.”

The two of you stand there, arguing in low voices to avoid being heard, like two children.

A knock on the door makes the both of you jump about two feet apart,

“Oh, I’m glad to see the two of you here.” Jin smiles, “y/n, the art competition is on Monday at 7pm, don’t forget. It’s right on campus, first floor in the art building. Jungkook, I’m expecting some great work for the art show from you.” He doesn’t wait for a response before he waves and walks off.

Jungkook begins walking towards the door without another word. This was something you were not used to at all, you had grown accustomed to him always being the one to apologize, admit he’s wrong, and ask for another chance- never did you think he would stop,

“Wait!” You yell out, “I left some things at your house, I’m gonna need to pick them up.” You continue, your voice much lower than before.

“I’ll be with Mina tonight, but you can get them tomorrow night.” He walks out without a goodbye, a smile, or an I love you, and it breaks your heart.

You arrive to the motel you’ve called home for the past week, lying in bed and allowing yourself to finally cry, weeks and weeks of emotions building up, only to be uncaged as you sit on a bed in an empty room, filled with nothing but an 80s style tv and a dresser that had cat claw marks engraved in it.

Grabbing your phone and looking through your contacts you scroll through names of people you haven’t spoken to since college, only stopping when you find Jungkook’s name, labeled as, Kookie.

The phone rings twice before it goes right to voicemail, signaling that he ignored it; which only made you cry more. You quickly begin sending texts to his phone back after back, unconcerned that he would be with his rebound.

“Please talk to me.”

“I’m sorry, okay? I am sorry!”

“Kookie..”

“Please don’t do this to me.”

A half hour passes, and you find yourself walking to nearest place that could get you blackout drunk. You were unbothered that you were now in a bar occupied by drunk young adults no older than 30. You’re too busy impatiently calling the bartender over and asking for three shots, all for yourself, and throwing them back before asking for another round.

“Geez, y/n. Slow down, wait, I can call you y/n, right? Since we’re not on campus?” Jimin’s voice sounds alarms in your head as you turn slowly towards him.

“Just fucking great.” Is your nice way of greeting him back and you place your head in your hands.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay, we’re not on campus. Everything okay with Jungkook?” He asks, making your eyes widen and you cringe,

“Please don’t do that, don’t- don’t ask about him. It’s weird.”

“Okay, fine. How about a shot? My treat? I still feel really bad about the whole Taehyung situation.”

You contemplate asking about Jungkook and Taehyung, wondering why they hated each other so much when they apparently used to be like brothers.

“Fine, shots. Your treat.” You smile, still a little uncomfortable, but not enough to turn down free liquor.

“y/n! y/n! Are you okay?” You hear Jimin’s voice echoing as you try to gain your balance, you haven’t drank this much since you turned 21. If you were being honest, you were more of a wine drinker and hated clear liquor.

“I’m fine.” you slur. Smiling his way and ignoring his worried glances.

Towards the back you see a group of people playing beer pong, and you quickly run to join them; Jimin tries to grab your arm but you pull away and walk over to the man who needed a partner.

It wasn’t like you to meet strangers in the bar- hell, bars weren’t even your thing. But here you were, lying on the bar table with your shirt lifted preparing for body shots with your beer pong partner after winning two games in a row.

You soak in the feeling of this man sucking liquor from your stomach and licking his way down to your hips, humming as began leaving kisses there.

You turn your head to glance around the bar, suddenly worried that Jimin might be watching. Instead, you’re met with Jungkook’s wicked eyes. His arms crossed over his chest as he raises his eyebrows accusingly. You quickly jump up from your lying position and push the man away from you as you walk to the door,

“Koo-“

“Don’t talk me, y/n.” He hums defeatedly, helping you to his car and buckling you in,

“Jimin called me and told me you were out of control.”

“I was fine!” You lash out, who did Jimin think he was? Calling Jungkook on you?

He ignores you the rest of the way, and takes you straight to his apartment complex.

“Go brush your teeth. You stink like liquor.”

Pouting at his insult you run into the bathroom, opting to take a shower as well.

“Kookie, please bring me a towel.”

He walks into the bathroom and throws the towel on the counter from the doorway, not even darting his eyes your way. He goes to walk back out and you comment,

“Want to come in?” A hopeful tone in your voice,

“No.” And he slams the door behind him.

His bad attitude made you wish you were back at your lonely motel, he doesn’t want anything to do with you and it tears you apart. The both of you lie in the same bed but he lies down a foot away from you, lying on his back and staring up the ceiling.

“Kookie.” You whisper, turning on your side and reaching out for him. You reach his arm and prepare for him to pull away, but he doesn’t. Sure enough, you slowly scoot your way towards his warm body, and as if it’s instinct, he wraps his arms around you. You don’t dare say anything to ruin this moment, he loves you, and you were beginning to think you loved him back.

In the morning you wake up to an empty bed, your head feels as though it’s weighed down by bricks and you squeeze your eyes shut.

“There’s medicine and water on the night stand, I’m making breakfast. You need to eat.” He smiles softly, the smile doesn’t reach his eyes but it’s a good start.

“Thanks.” Is all you’re able to get out, afraid you might say the wrong thing and set him off.

It stays that way the entire morning, quiet but content. No words are ever needed between the two of you. It was like you spoke through touching, through facial expressions, and through helpful gestures.

You watch him sit in front of his drawing canvas, the stress on his face makes you upset for him. He had only two days to finish his art exhibit work- and he hasn’t even started.

“I don’t know what to do,” he explodes, making you jump from your position on the bed,

“Why don’t you draw a portrait of your dad, you’d automatically win, no one will turn down a school president portrait.

“Shut up.” He laughs; the soft wrinkles near his eyes make your heart melt.

“Maybe you just need some motivation,” you say, standing up from the bed, walking towards him before you stand in front of him, attempting to sit in his lap but he pushes you back down on the bed.

“Seriously? After last night you’re going to try that?”

“Jungkook, how many times do I have to say I’m sorry! I wasn’t myself last night.”

“You haven’t said sorry at all, y/n.” He’s clearly frustrated and you know you’ve screwed up whatever nice moment the two of you were having.

“If you were pleasing me than I wouldn’t have to find it somewhere else.” You snarl. His eyes shoots from his canvas and he purses his lips,

“Then you should learn to please yourself.” He grills you, waiting for another smart comment to come from your lips,

“I don’t- I’ve never done that. I mean, I’ve touched myself but I’ve never-“

“Really?” He questions, a surprised look on his face as he loses interest in the canvas.

“You can teach me.” You beg, pulling his hand and guiding it to the crotch of your shorts, he moves his chair and kneels in front you, rubbing you through the thin material, listening to you let you soft moans. Just as quickly as he started, he stops.

“What the hell.” You meant to yell, but it still comes out as light moan.

“I wanna see you touch yourself.” He bites his lip before sitting back down in front of you.

“Take of your shorts baby.” He guides you, watching your every move. You listen to him, taking it off quickly and throwing it across the room. You reach for your panties but you hear him speak,

“No. You listen to what I tell you to do.” Your eyes light up and you nod your head quickly.

“Pull your panties to the side, I wanna see your pussy.” He shifts in his seat and moves a little closer. Your run your fingers over your slit covered by a laced thong before moving the thin material to the right side.

“What next.” Squirming in your place begging for instruction to please your throbbing womanhood.

“Run a finger between your lips, baby.”

You quickly swipe a finger all the way up to your clit but he smirks,

“Slower.” Dragging out the word, and leaning in to get a better look,

“So pretty.” You look up at him with a smile and see that he’s already palming himself through his jeans,

“Touch your clit. Flick it a little bit, it’ll feel good.” He reassures.

Bringing your index finger to your clit you graze it lightly and arch your back in pleasure, feeling you pussy get wetter.

You look up at him expectantly and see that he’s drawing; looking between you and his canvas. You quickly squeeze your legs shut and sit up,

“What are you doing?”

“Drawing.” He answers as though it’s no big deal.

“Yes I know what you’re doing but- but-“

“No one will know it’s you. Has anyone ever seen you like I have? Naked? Legs spread open? You touch yourself for anyone else other than me?”

“No.”

“So nothing to worry about, open your legs.” He comforts you lovingly,

“Now show me how you finger yourself, baby. Show me how you please yourself.” His words alone make you moan and you find yourself begging for him to finish you off, he doesn’t of course. This was your lesson- your payback for last night.

“Oh gosh,” you squeal, your hips circling as you continued to finger yourself,

“Rub your clit with your other hand.” He murmurs. You quickly place your hand over your clit and rub it at a fast pace while fucking yourself with three fingers.

You hadn’t realized how long you’ve been at this until you see his finished canvas pushed to the side and his hand wrapped around his cock as he moves his tight grasp up and down.

“Fuck me, Kookie.” You whine, fingers still rubbing your clit, your body shaking.

“Apologize.” He commands, just like you demanded of him the night at the strip club, the first night you two got together.

“Apologize!” He demands a little louder this time, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“I’m sorry.” You agreed, leaning up to pull him closer. He pushes you back on the bed for a second time tonight and crawls over you. Placing an elbow next to your head and the other on his cock to guide himself inside of you. 

Sex with Jungkook tonight was the opposite of what you were used to. He was slow, gentle even. Allowing his body to completely mold with yours and feeling every part of your body.

“I love you,” he declares,

“I know.”

He picks up the pace, smiling down at you and watching your eyes roll back with each thrust. His moans were driving you mad and clenched around his dick, something you did when you were about to cum. He throws your legs over his shoulders and takes a hold of your upper thighs, using them to grip you as he continues to pound into you relentlessly. You can feel him pulsating inside of you,

“Cumming.” He breathes heavily, eyes squeezed shut,

“Fuck.” He looks shocked to see you still writhing beneath him.

As soon as he releases you, you push his head lower until he’s facing your cunt. Without waiting for instruction he licks a strip up your pussy, enjoying your reaction. You run fingers through his hair and tug harshly at the strands.

His tongue pokes through and begins toying with your clit, pausing every once in a while to shove his tongue inside of you. “Oh god, Kookie.” You scream as you cum, trying to push his head away as he continues to suck your juices.

“I love you.” You finally admit as the two of you lie in bed together. He slowly looks your way with a large smile, looking just as drained as you were. He pulls you in and kisses you softly.

“Sorry to break it to you, but I’m with Mina now.” You slap his chest and the two of you break out in giggles.

“Shut up!” You complain with a smile. Your laughs die down eventually and he looks at you, a serious look in eyes as he proceeds,

“No more games, baby. I’m yours and you are mine.”

a/n: The story is on an indefinite hiatus.

masterlist is here

[cinnbar-bun]

Easter Bruno and Embla!Sumemer

@pokemagines MOM I AM! EXCITED! TO GIVE MORE CONTENT ON OUR STRESSED BBY EMBLA SUMEMER!!! THEY NEED MORE LOVE!!!

Compared to say-Sumemer and their respective prince, Embla!Sumemer and Bruno are pretty low-key during the festival. Instead of screaming and yelling about how cute the chickens look or how Alfonse’s bunny ears make him look adorable, the two are more calm and quietly chatter about how cute the things around them are. 

“I didn’t know artisans could paint eggs like this. Perhaps Embla should really learn a thing or two from Askr.” “Ah, it’s actually a well-known custom back home. Me and my family would do it sometimes.” 

“Bruno, do you want a bite of the chocolate?” “I don’t think I should...” *cue e!sumemer giving a small sigh* “Fine... a tiny bite wouldn’t hurt.” 

E!Sumemer is not as confident as their Askran counterpart, so when Loki gives them a rather revealing outfit to where, they are awkwardly shuffling and trying to hide behind their bulky crush. Bruno is kind of impressed they even went through with it, silently acknowledging how they grew as  a person since being summoned, and kind of wants to tease them but also realizes he is not doing any better. He is too proud and can’t read his own feelings to actually compliment them like a normal person would, but E!Sumemer isn’t normal as well so it kinda works

“You look...like a bunny...” 

“T-thanks...” 

“If you get cold please let me know.” 

“A-ah...okay...”

Veronica tags along with the two in her own bunny outfit, and E!Sumemer sometimes slowly pets her head, and she kinda gets weirded out but sorta likes it. 

They got mistaken as a married couple with their daughter a handful of times. It was VERY awkward to explain yet Bruno had a slight pink tinge to his cheeks and the Sumemer went to the bathroom to scream how kinda awesome that was. 

Poor babies they’re all DUMBASSES

Loki tries to get the Sumemer to act more promiscuous and when that doesn’t work, she goes up to Bruno and starts talking about Easter. 

“Well, my dear Prince, you are aware of what rabbits symbolize, hm?” 

“Quiet you, I’m busy looking for the important clue you won’t give up.” 

She gets kinda pissed off because WOW she loves instigating and the fact the two are so dense and slow makes her want to scream. 

E!Sumemer probably twists their ankle trying to help Bruno, and he feels kinda bad so he carries them in his arms bridal-style the rest of the festival. 

Neither will admit how they both enjoyed it

As they are about to depart Loki and Veronica hatch (heh) a plan to get the two to confess. Loki gives the two a chalice with a large egg and calls it the ‘re-birthing chalice’, which is supposed to symbolize a new ‘them’ after they say what it is they wish. She insists its an Askr tradition, and neither of them heard about it before so the two don’t question it. 

“Dear Summoner, start first!” 

E!Sumemer is a mess, but they grip the chalice in their hand and look at Bruno. 

“I...I want to be better...I see the way that Summoner is for Askr and I wonder if I can ever match up to them. Everyone loves them, and they’re so fun. I’m...I’m not fun, or loud, or strong. I’m just...this thing...You can do a lot better than me.” 

They look away shamefully, since they finally have said the words that have been plaguing them since day one, and Bruno looks surprised. 

“You don’t think you’re enough?” 

“Don’t you want someone like them? Someone who can help Embla?” They point at the Summoner, who is busy prancing around with Alfonse. 

“And what makes you so sure I want them? Don’t you think if I wanted them I would’ve had them?” He lifts an eyebrow. 

“I-I guess...you have a way with words...” Bruno gently takes the chalice from their hands and holds it in his. 

“I guess it is my time to confess then. Even if this tradition is rather shallow and stupid, my words aren’t. I don’t want them. I don’t think I could deal with such energy at my face all day, everyday. You are perfect for Embla. You may not see it, but you’ve grown so much by being here. You... you helped me grow too.” 

Both of their cheeks erupt into red as they just stare at each other. 

 “Argh! To hell with this!” Bruno yells as he throws the chalice and grabs their hands. “You may not be the Askran summoner but you’re MY summoner! And if didn’t want you I’d have gotten rid of you earlier! Do you not understand that? I like you!”

There are no words that can be said. Both just stare at each other, shocked that he even said that. He stands up and gets ready to leave, feeling rather annoyed he had admitted something so personal like that.

“Forgive me, it was unbecoming of me to-“ but he stops when he hears sobbing. He turns around and sees the Sumemer crying and desperately trying to wipe their face.

“Are you repulsed by me that much?”

“N-no! I’m just...happy. For the first time in a long time I’m so, so happy.” They muster out. Bruno kneels before them and brushes their wet cheeks with his thumbs, before he looks at them bashfully.

“I think I can say the same thing too. I guess that silly tradition really does work.” He chuckles. They don’t say anything back, but they throw themselves onto him and wrap their arms around his neck.

“Thank you, Bruno.” They whisper.

“No, thank you, my dear Summoner.” The two keep the embrace before Loki claps and Veronica coughs awkwardly.

“He was tying my shoes!” The Sumemer screams.

“You two are as bad as kids.” Loki smirks.

“Quiet, witch.”

“Brother, does that mean I’m getting another older sibling?” Veronica innocently asks, causing the new couple to choke and sputter nonsense.

The rest of the festival is a bit more embarrassing, yet the two can’t help but feel free. No wars, duties, or ancient curses to worry about. Just each other (and Loki and Veronica) spending time together in the warm Askran weather.

A/n: I’m so sorry this got so self-indulgent I just NEED these two to admit their feelings!!!  

[chaniters]

Coming out

The ending of this edulcorated Chargestep nightmare fluff I’m writing, The plan is revealed and the farm confronted with it’s greatest enemy so far. 

Also, Ricardo Ortega and Sidestep go for their dinner date, following up from the last fic (Supersize me).

The waiter leaves after taking your orders The place is actually fancy. It's one of Los Diablos finest restaurants.

You can't help feeling foreign here. You were always faded in the background whenever you had to be in places like this.

And you can hear their thoughts. People wondering who's the guy in Charge's table. There’s curiosity and even a hint of jealousy.

You shift uncomfortably in your seat... And he takes your hand with his. You tremble as you hear the collective mental gasp of everyone looking at you two.

"Would you stop thinking about them and look at me?" He asks. You force yourself to look up. There's his stupid smile... the big eyes... And then he makes it even worse. He presses your fingers in his hand and speaks.

"You know, you're looking so fucking hot right now... I should have done this a long time ago. Just show you how I see you."

"You... really like this?" You say motioning to your own self. You had no trouble believing he liked you in costume, after all, you were always proud of your skills. But here, in plain clothing is another story.

"Yes, dumbass, I like you. How many times do I have to tell you?. We kissed like ... so many times. What else do I have to do to convince you?"

He takes a sip of wine before going on.

"You know, sometimes it's EXHAUSTING to endure how dense you can be."

"Alright, alright... no need to rub it in my face, I get it" you say looking away.

"No, I don't think you do! I've been throwing curve-balls at you for about a decade and not ONCE did you pick them up except for the AWKWARD moments."

"Well..."

"I started to think I just wasn't your type"

"No! THat's not it... I mean..."

"AM I, OR AM I NOT YOUR TYPE CYRUS?" he asks raising his tone. "BECAUSE IM STILL WONDERING RIGHT NOW."

"OF COURSE YOU ARE MY TYPE!" You burst out. And then you lower your volume since everyone can hear you "From when we started training together... I had to make an effort not to look at you all the time and..."

"Uhu... I see. Go on" he cues you to continue

And then you can't stop. You tell him stuff you hadn't even remembered until now. About how you hated it when he was with someone else. About how confused you were after he kissed you at the party. About the fight with Psycopathor and the dreams, you had after he saved you. About calendars that you had hidden in your apartment when Anathema bought them for you as a joke. You go into even some very embarrassing stuff, like when he carried you out so many times. You confess about using Steel's hostility as a tool to keep him away and protect your secret.

"Oh. I see... Tell me more" he says with an absent look.

And then you go on about how you love his smile... his eyes.. his arms and...

And then you choke when you realize the intensity of his gaze. Like he's going to devour you alive.

He's been enjoying this from the start. Watching you agonize and talk on and on about how you thirst for him.

The two of you don't finish your meals, pay early and head home. Home. You would have said "His place" not too long ago.  You stumble with the keys and they fall down from your hands. He takes them from the floor and opens the lock.

The moment you enter he pushes you onto the wall and kisses you like a wild animal. And you have basically lost all self-control by this moment.

He starts taking (ripping) off your clothing.

"How many ... layers??" he asks frustrated... until he gets to the last nanomesh. And then he notices the panicked expression.

"I've thought this through," he says, pulling you towards the bedroom. He just pushes you on the bed, and you collapse there, moving on your back towards the center. 

He leaves the room briefly... returning with something in his hand, hoping in, landing by your left side.

He opens his hand. A blindfold.

Ricardo puts it on over his forehead.

"Will this do?" he asks You nod, surprised. He lowers the blindfold over his eyes.

"Now take that thing off"

And you both do...

He climbs on on top of you. Kissing you... feeling you.

It's not triggering your alarms. You know him. And don't feel threatened.

"Hey... stop... stop," you say.

He freezes immediately. "W.. what did I do?" he asks

"Nothing... just... " you extend a hand and remove his blindfold.

"But then you'll..."

"I think I can handle it?... Just... go slow please"

He gives you the widest smile.

--------Several days later-----------

Brushing your mind against his, you find an entrance and take hold, firmly. The senator is asleep, you can't work like this. You take his body and make him take a few steps. You need to wake him to access his thoughts... not to control a zombie.

You find them. And you do what you've done dozens of times already. Set his fixation ready, burning white hot in intensity, for the time when the signal is given.

And then you free him, making him think he just sleep-walked a bit. Float like a ghost, back to your own body.

The return is brutal. You hadn't possessed that many people in succession since... ever. This is new territory.

And possessing people is not your only activity these days...

Ricardo finally confessed to you that he couldn't keep up a few nights ago. That he's not that young anymore. You saw the failure in his eyes. Mission accomplished you said, trying not to tease him too hard.

You've lost several pounds from this.

Your body is a wreck, but you are at the top of the world. Having Ortega for yourself and destroying your enemies have quickly become your two favorite activities and now you do them together, daily.

The routine goes on for about two months until all the pieces are in place.

And then Charge casually talks with the first domino piece and gives him his verbal trigger command.

The retired scientist goes to the media, whistleblowing on the farm's human rights violations. He dies on an accident shortly after.

He is followed by a senator, a decorated general, and two low-tier bureaucrats. One of them is imprisoned on drug charges. The two other die and the fourth has a mental breakdown.

Ten other witnesses go public to the media immediately after, revealing droves of information. As one of them dies, the FBI reveals it had begun an investigation on the killings.

Dozens more witnesses come trough, and the scandal reaches national levels. You've mind-controlled about a hundred and fifty in total, changing their minds into scandal timebombs. And you commanded them to seek others, and get more evidence as well.

Soon enough the killing stop, and the Special Directive, unmasked, becomes a pariah among government agencies.  Senate commissions and federal investigations fall upon them like birds of prey. It's director removed and in custody.

-------The stage is set.----------

"Good morning Los Diablos! We are joined on studio here by Charge, here for an interview about...

You sit awkwardly behind the cameras. Waiting for your cue... at any moment he will ... There.

"I have some important personnel announcements to make" Ortega interrupts her

"Oh? Personal you say?"

"Yes, Mia. I'm very proud and happy to introduce everyone to... My boyfriend, Cyrus Basri. Yes, I'm coming out!" he says motioning for you to come forward.

You've been seen together in enough public spots to have people question your relationship. A ton of photos of you together will surely surgeon the media within minutes.

You force your legs to get you in front of the camera because if this goes wrong, you might actually not live to tell the tale. This is the most critical part of the plan. All up to you.

She asks you questions. You answer them. You are his boyfriend. You love him. No, you are not yet engaged. When you tell them you've known him for more than 10 years, they wonder who you are.

They go back to Ricardo.

"So we're coming out," he says holding your hand, giving you the confidence you still lack. "But that's not all. We have one more revelation to make" he ends looking at you.

You take the longest breath of your existence. And speak to the country.

"My Name is Cyrus Basri. I used to defend the city as the Hero Sidestep. I stopped the Nanosurge. I fought against Heartbreak... And..." you pause. Not because you are terrified, but for drama. They made you an actor after all. "And seven years ago, I was kidnaped by the Prime Directive. I was abused, beaten, drugged and experimented upon. My humanity was denied, and I was subjected to the most heinous experiment ever devised. I am a victim and a survivor of the Special Directive" you say removing your shirt before the cameras for all to see.

Everyone goes silent as the final bomb explodes.

You cry on live tv. Ricardo holds you. The audience gasps. You make sure to make all of their reactions are positive and supportive. You're surprised it would have been that way even without your power.

Mia is shocked but instantly begins asking questions. More reporters show up. You answer each and every one. You break up several times, showing yourself even more vulnerable than you actually are.

You tell the Truth. You reveal the connection between the Directive And Heartbreak.

And then you also lie. You accuse the Directive of all sorts of despicable things that your witnesses have fabricated evidence about. Ortega backs you up. You couldn't ask for a finer wingman.

As the show finally ends, federal investigators come to talk to you. Then, finally, after you've gone with half of their questions, a high ranking official from the White House shows up to talk to you.

You demand Ortega be present and he sits by your side.

After a few words, he offers you a deal. You look at Ortega, and he finally nods.

You shake hands.

By the end of the day, you are truly Cyrus Basri, with a birth certificate, and social security number, a driver's license, and a bank account full of stolen money that now legally belongs to you.

Your past is erased. You're no longer a regene, but a civilian victim who was manipulated, enslaved and experimented upon by a rogue organization.

And most other regenes will get similar deals. They'll never admit they created life. Fine by you.

Your problems fixed within hours.

And now you are Ricardo's official gay boyfriend. That is new...

The rangers reactions were shocked as you said your goodbyes.

Chen was tearing himself apart. "YOU WERE GAY?" he repeats over and over talking to you and Ortega. Herald can't stop telling you how proud he is about you coming out like that. And Argent is maybe not your closest friend but she's beaming for Ortega and you being a thing.

You flee the country together a few days later to avoid the rest of the media storm.    

Private cruise through the Caribbean. You go on false names. It's part of your deal. To spend a whole year outside the media's reach.

And they know you can do that.

Because you beat the odds.

You are the cuckoo who became a real boy.

______________________________________

My Fanfiction: https://chaniters.tumblr.com/post/181692759294/my-fanfiction-for-fallen-hero    

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fan fiction using characters and the setting of the Fallen Hero: Rebirth and upcoming Fallen Hero: Retribution games written by Malin Riden. I do not claim ownership of any characters from the Fallen Hero wold. These stories are a work of my imagination, and I do not ascribe them to the official story canon. These works are intended for entertainment outside the official storyline owned by the author. I am not profiting financially from the creation of these stories, and thank the author for her wonderful game/s, without which these works would not exist.

[pass-the-bechdel]

Marvel Cinematic Universe: Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)

Does it pass the Bechdel Test?

Yes, once.

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Five (29.41% of cast).

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Twelve.

Positive Content Rating:

Three.

General Film Quality:

No matter how many times I watch this, I’m always surprised by how excellent it is. If any other future Marvel film wants to be ‘the best’, this is the movie it has to beat for the title. 

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:

Passing the Bechdel:

Natasha asks about the ballistics on the weapon used against Fury, and Maria responds. I’ve heard people argue that Natasha was not asking Maria specifically and therefore this does not count, but since Natasha clarifies a detail of Maria’s response (to which Maria responds again in order to confirm), I definitely think it qualifies. I have allowed a pass for far, far less in the past. 

Female characters:

Natasha Romanov.

Peggy Carter.

Maria Hill.

Sharon Carter.

Renata.

Male characters:

Steven Rogers.

Sam Wilson.

Brock Rumlow.

Georges Batroc.

Jerome.

Jasper Sitwell.

Nick Fury.

Alexander Pierce.

Aaron.

Arnim Zola.

Senator Stern.

Bucky Barnes.

OTHER NOTES:

They start this movie by having Steve go for a jog and make a new friend, with a conversation ensuing that is by touches casual, light, humorous, insightful, serious, and sobering. It’s a pretty weird way to launch a much-anticipated superhero comic-adaptation action movie sequel, to be honest, but it’s also rock-solid character establishment - for the never-before-seen Sam Wilson, and for Steve Rogers whose mental state and coping skills in the modern era are kinda an open question at this point - and by getting us on level with Steve’s day-to-day (rather than Captain America’s, which comes after) they’ve immediately prepped us for a story in which this character confronts and reassesses who he is and what he stands for at a core level, and not just in a symbolic/legacy kind of fashion (a la Tony Stark). It may say ‘Captain America’ on the tin, but this is Steven Rogers’ story. This is a fantastic and well-condensed first three minutes of this film, before they fly off to deliver the action sequence we may well have expected to have received up-front. 

Oh yeah, also this opening scene involves jogging around the Washington Monument, which is not a subtle detail, but I can dig it. If they’d had Steve draw attention to some Major American Landmark at some point in the movie and make a patriotic declaration of some kind, then I’d cry foul, but as-is the use of Washington DC as a setting is the hardest they bother to hammer the AMERICA button. The absence of self-fellating patriotism which I appreciated so much in the first film continues to be a virtue in this one. I do dig.

Remember how I really love it when people get hit and fly off the screen? Steve just kicked a dude off a boat and I made the dorkiest ‘hee hee!’ noise ever. Sure am glad the only reason anyone knows about that is that I just told y’all, and not because anyone actually heard me.

One day, we’ll stop getting these kinds of gratuitous butt shots of female characters in tight clothes. But it sure ain’t this day.

In a world of equal-opportunity sexualisation, this Cap-butt would be forgiveness enough for the aforementioned offense. But it still sure ain’t that day, friends.

Other reasons to love that opening scene: they low-balled Sam’s counseling skills to us by having him quickly identify the best way to speak to Steve and to engage with him (as Steve, again, not as Captain America; that’s the key), and that’s what allows Steve to bond with him enough that, put in a tight spot and not sure who to trust, he shows up on Sam’s doorstep later in the film. Really tight characterisation and dynamic-building.

ALSO, Steve’s adventure to the Captain America museum exhibit reminds us all of what he’s lost - specifically, Bucky Barnes - and contextualises his encounters with Sam Wilson within the emotional landscape of Steve’s desire for close male companionship, highlighting the need which compels the formation of that bond while also accentuating the sense of Steve’s present isolation and uncertainty, robbed of any understanding confidante (the bittersweet reality of having Peggy Carter still alive, but losing herself to Alzheimer's, really hits that one home). Again, Steve’s emotional landscape is actually a vital part of the story of the film on both character and plot levels, so there’s a LOT of great show-don’t-tell demonstration in the interconnections of all these scenes, PLUS they’re doing the good work for all the other characters involved AND reminding the audience of the score so that the film can continue to draw from the past as the movie continues, without losing any viewers for whom this might be the first foray into the Captain America story. This movie is just...really well put together, guys. It’s a little shocking, how good it is.

Winter Soldier intro is too cool. Not a pun.

Steve takes a chance and asks his neighbour out for coffee; she declines with a soft no; he accepts even-tempered and assures her he won’t trouble her any further, and she lets him know that he’s no trouble and there’s no hard feelings. It’s all a very painless and respectful navigation of boundaries, and taken on face value (ignoring the part where she turns out to be an undercover SHIELD agent, and everything which unfolds from there), it’s a welcome example of how easy it is to take rejection graciously. Guys, be the Steve Rogers that women want to see in the world.

I want a metal arm. I don’t want to not have my current arms, they’re fine, but in an abstract version of the world where you have things purely for cool points, I want a metal arm.

The fight choreography in this film is great. It’s good watchin’. 

Also the soundtrack is top-end. 

“...Specimen.”

The movie didn’t need a hetero kiss thrown in there, though. I sure wish there wasn’t a random kiss in there.

“The answer to your question is fascinating. Unfortunately, you shall be too dead to hear it.” 

Urgh, why Senator Stern gotta show up, be a pig about women, make his little Nazi declaration, and leave? The answer is, he really doesn’t gotta. You know what’s good shit? Not using misogyny and objectification of women to demonstrate that a bad guy is a bad guy, unless it’s actually a relevant part of the story. One day...

I can’t deal with how cool the Winter Soldier is. I’m almost embarrassed by how much the whole Silent Sauntering Assassin thing works for me.

Sam Wilson brings a tiny knife to a gunfight and still gets the upper hand because he’s perfect.

THE FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHYYYYY

The Winter Soldier is barely in the film in the first hour, and Bucky is referenced in the museum but not discussed by any of the characters, so there’s no lantern hanging on either the mystery of the Winter Soldier’s identity or the conspicuous reminder of a supposedly dead character (another reason why tying the memory of Bucky in so tightly with Steve’s present state of comfortless seclusion is important and clever). If you somehow managed not to be spoiled for it already, the Bucky reveal is a real kicker of a twist.

The degree to which I adore Sebastian Stan’s attention to detail in his performance has increased tenfold since The First Avenger. Dude has got nuances on his nuances.

The part of me that is emotionally susceptible to heroism is very moved by all the nameless SHIELD agents who stand up to HYDRA and die for it. 

I join the rest of the world in being really disappointed that what appeared to be Jenny Agutter’s councilwoman kicking Strike Team ass was actually just Black Widow. Sorry Natasha.

The Winter Soldier shows up and murderises a heap of pilots, and the part of me that is susceptible to heroism finds itself in conflict with the part that is susceptible to the Winter Soldier’s ineffable coolness (which is itself at odds with the part of me that wants Bucky Barnes to be safe and happy). This movie got me good.

Rumlow talkin’ some shit about pain and Sam’s just like “Man, shut the Hell up,” and it’s perfect. I love him.

I love this film. I mean I really, really love it. Like, I mean this is one of my favourite movies in the world. Like, if we were playing that ol’ game of ‘if you had to pick ten movies, and those were the only movies you were allowed to watch for the rest of your life’, this would be one of my ten movies. That’s how much I love this film. There’s so much to get into here, so much to enjoy: it’s light and easily-digestible enough for when you just want to be entertained by something that doesn’t demand too much from you, but it also has serious depths for when you’re in the mood to dig in. It has well-crafted action scenes, but also a strong plot with powerful emotional currents. It has wonderful, charismatic actors playing intriguing characters, and most of them are good eye candy, but none of them are just eye candy - there’s a lot of complexity to unravel in the motivations and personal narratives of the leads. It’s a superhero movie, sure, but it’s also a political spy thriller. And, to top it off, it’s not only an excellent stand-alone film, it’s also a fantastic example of how to do a sequel right.

Sequel-making can be a fraught business; you’ve got sequels that are basically just pointless retreads of the original, sequels that are so different they hardly count as sequels at all, sequels that are so busy trying to be ‘bigger and better’ than the original they become ridiculous, sequels so busy attempting to capitalise on the spectacle of the original that they forget to have any of the same heart that gave the original meaningful impact, sequels that ignore that the original had a plot and themes and that maybe that stuff was relevant to its success, etc, etc...there are lots of great sequels in the world, certainly, but as Iron Man 2 and Thor: The Dark World already attested for the MCU, it is very, very easy for sequels to go wrong. For this film, I think it goes without saying that I feel they passed all of the above sequel-killing quality tests with flying (low-key red-white-and-blue) colours, hence my adoration. But, just for kicks, lets talk about how they did it.

For starters, you can pretty much guarantee that this isn’t gonna be a pointless retread of Captain America: The First Avenger, since this movie takes place seventy years later and there are certain essential world elements that have fundamentally changed, such as technology, characters, and the fact that WWII ended a good while previous. But, that’s exactly how they make this story work as a sequel: they use the nature of change to give the film its shape, thematically, politically, emotionally, and in doing so they assure that everything which is different in the present builds directly from the past. Steve Rogers has not fundamentally changed, and that’s a critical anchor, considering he’s the titular character and all, but he is in a state of flux due to everything else that has changed, and his doubts inform the narrative landscape. This is not the world he remembers, and yet, as the plot unfolds and he digs into the conspiracy at his feet, there’s plenty there that is hauntingly familiar, because this is a story about how the past is still alive and kicking in the present, it has just updated to keep with the times.

It’s worth noting that despite Captain America making the jump from the forties to the modern age without any stop-offs in between, the film doesn’t linger on or wallow in the differences in his world in any strict sense - even Steve himself (in that EXTREMELY well-crafted opening scene with Sam) is somewhat dismissive of the specifics, because he’s not dwelling on the oh-woe-things-have-changed, he’s just trying to get his head around it, adapt, and move forward (and the practical realities are easy enough, but the emotional facets? Yeah). The thing is of course, no one else shares this problem with Steve; they’ve all been around, variously, for the parts in between, and the story is still concerned with the context of the world which made all of its characters what they are, and particularly with the war that came after WWII, the war within which HYDRA reseeded and began to grow anew: the Cold War. In particular, it’s the ‘70s/’80s era Cold War, built into the political-thriller superstructure of the film itself and driven home most overtly by the Winter Soldier, heavily Russian-coded and steeped in the potent psychological horror of brainwashing, but there are other signifiers littered across the story as well. There’s former-KGB agent Black Widow, and the reference she makes to WarGames, and there’s Arnim Zola frozen in time by the ancient computer system which now acts as his ‘brain’, and then there’s the stroke of subversive genius in the casting of Robert Redford - the positively Captain America-esque blue-eyed-blond hero of many a seventies Cold War political thriller - as our primary villain, working within the United States government for the benefit of his secret European-originating agenda in true foreign-infiltration style. Of course, we can adapt all of this to fit the radicalised terrorism and technological paranoia of modern times (and those elements are alive and well in the text with the surveillance-state fears represented by the helicarriers), but the historical timestamping is important to the trajectory of the film; times change and things grow increasingly subtle and complicated, but the core dilemmas that call people out to fight are instantly familiar. In that sense, Steve Rogers hasn’t missed much at all.

The war that calls Cap to arms this time around may be more subtle than the openly-fought battlefields of WWII, but it is no less global or insidious; the new ‘improved’ HYDRA may not be led by a literal Nazi who peels off his own face, but the cold political calculations of Alexander Pierce are much more frightening for their realism (an aspect of the film which has become increasingly prescient for the modern era since the movie was released), and the fascist supremacist dogma that compels these villains to attempt to reshape the world with the blood of millions is drawn from the same poisoned well; this is an escalation of the same enemy that Captain America faced before, only much closer to home. And while the passage of time has benefited the old evils in allowing them to entrench and fester and craft re-branded, more socially-accepted versions of themselves, it has not been so favourable to the positive familiar things from Steve’s past: it has claimed Peggy’s memory, and rotted SHIELD beyond recovery. And then, there’s what it’s done to Bucky Barnes.

Fake-out character deaths are a major staple of the superhero/comic genre, and not one I love, since it tends to take the power out of apparent-death scenes and leaves the drama feeling contrived, and while the Bucky reveal is not entirely free from that cynicism, it sells itself well on delivery. For starters, it packs a wallop in additional drama instead of just neatly undoing that which already existed (Nick Fury’s ‘death’ and reveal, on the other hand, is more in the classic line of cheap and inconsequential), and it ups the personal stakes for Steve in exactly the same way as Bucky’s ‘death’ did in The First Avenger. Crucially, the fact that Bucky is the Winter Soldier doesn’t alter the wider narrative in any convenient way, such as providing Captain America with the key to stopping him or resolving the other conflicts of the plot through his connection; the Bucky reveal reconnects the story to Steve’s emotional journey, which is exactly where it started before Shit Got Crazy - there’s a good reason they spent the first half hour of the movie on charting Steve’s mental state. There’s a sharp division between Bucky Barnes and the Winter Soldier, despite them both inhabiting the same form, and it’s a mirror of the division between Steve Rogers and Captain America: regardless of all assumptions to the contrary, the two are mutually exclusive entities. ‘Captain America’ is not a person, he’s a symbol, and he’s manipulable in that way, he can be propagandised, his image and actions are a tool turned to the purposes of others at the expense of the human underneath; Steve recognises this (and has since the first film), and he holds this secondary persona at a remove and does not define himself through it. This is what Sam’s keen social instincts pick up so quickly in the beginning: treating Steve as Captain America is the wrong approach, it fails to connect, because Steve is not the uniform, Steve has doubts, Steve could give up the shield; Steve is a person. Bucky doesn’t have the same luxuries, in opportunities, in company, or in the cognizant ability to define his own identity, but even without the personal attachment of their history, Steve is uniquely positioned to understand the difference between the Winter Soldier and the person buried beneath the title. If it was not Bucky, specifically, the visceral emotion of the mirrored experience wouldn’t land quite as strong, but either way the Winter Soldier is the realisation of Steve’s deep-seated fear of being made a puppet, an unthinking enforcer too heavily indoctrinated into patriotic subservience to recognise the despotism that has replaced his idealism. 

I said at the top that this is, ultimately, a Steven Rogers story to which ‘Captain America’ is an accessory, and not the other way around, and that’s a fact at the heart of what makes this film work - on its own, and as a sequel. The fore-fronting of Steve as a character in his own right and not just ‘Captain America’s real name’ was key to avoiding any cloying patriotism overriding the narrative of the first film, and it’s doubly important now as both Steve and the Captain America brand re-situate outside of their original context. It’s easy to strip back the specific trappings of Captain America and still have this movie function just right, because for all the action and intrigue, it is essentially a character piece about Steve Rogers figuring out his place in the world and reclaiming the moral compunctions which have been presumptuously attributed to the lofty symbol of his alter ego, and not the struggling reality of everyday life. Captain America is what he is and how he is not because it sounds good or because it makes for positive PR or because it’s nice to have legends from the good ol’ days; Captain America is the embodiment of scrappy little Steve Rogers’ grit and determination to live up to what he believes in, come Hell or high water or the gravest of consequences. Steve begins the film at odds with himself, unsure if there’s a place for his shameless idealism within the mess of modern life; he’s going through the motions of being Captain America, but he’s uncertain of what it means to him at this point, or where it’s headed. He finishes the film having gained something vital: a mission, but it’s not a professional job for Captain America, it’s a personal mission for Steve Rogers, and that’s much more important. Captain America is just an idea; Steve Rogers is the reason it matters, no matter what war, what time, what place, or what flag.

[calm-fics-blog]

Fight Song [Calum]

A/N: You can find links to all of the chapters for this fanfic and other fanfics in the master list link on our page.

Part 2

At the after party, Nick and I went around the room talking to friends and meeting new people. He liked to boast about my new album and the sound that I was plugging in for it. I enjoyed it when he talked about me like this because it showed that he really did care about me. In moments like this it almost made all negativity from the night fly away.

We were talking to one of our friends at MTV about my album when Nick dropped a bombshell on us. “I haven’t said much and i’ve been super secret about this but I am also releasing an album as well.” He exclaimed.

Suddenly, people all around us and a few photographers and paps were closer and I was pushed out his arms so people could get a better angle and view of him. I didn’t fight the paps though because this was normal for him. Putting me in the spotlight just so he could steal the show. Well fuck that then. I want dessert.

I wandered over to the spread of delicious treats and got myself a plate. I was about to put a brownie on my plate when I felt something bounce off my shoulder and onto the table. A little chocolate chip?

I looked to my right and to no surprise there was Ashton, Luke, Calum, and Michael standing with the most guilty looks on their faces. Michael gave me a big grin and hid the bowl of little chocolates behind his back. I chuckled and walked towards them with a smile on my face. “Sorry about that, Y/N. We didn’t mean to hit ya.” Michael said.

“That’s alright boys. What were you doing anyway?” I asked, throwing the chocolate at Luke causing his arms to flail attempting to catch it.

“We were throwing them back and forth trying to get catch them in our mouths. Obviously we aren’t that good.” Ashton said with a giggled. I loved his dimpled grin.

“Sounds like fun. May I join?” I asked.

They looked surprised at each other and shrugged their shoulders as if saying ‘why not’. I stood across from Calum, telling him to throw at me first. I stood with my hands behind my back and opened up my mouth. Calum poked his tongue out from his plump pink lips and readied the chocolate. He tossed it but instead of making an arch in the air it hit me right in the chest. His eyes grew wide and his hand covered his mouth. “Fuck, I'm so so sorry, YN. Did I get any on you because that dress looks super expensive and i’m so sorry if I ruined it I didn’t mean to.” he rambled out. He rushed over to grab a napkin and brought it to me.

“Hey, don’t worry about it. It’s not like I haven’t spilled anything on myself before. And I probably won’t wear it ever again because then i’ll be an ‘outfit repeater’.” I said with a laugh, giving him a reassuring smile. I dabbed at the chocolate stain but it didn’t help anything, it actually made it worse.

“Here, take this.” Calum said, taking off his jacket and wrapping it around my shoulders.

“Thanks.” I smiled.

“Hey, i know this has nothing to do with the little flirty thing you guys are doing right now but could you follow us on Twitter? We follow you, I mean, not that we’re embarrassed about it or anything.” Luke said with a laugh.

I agreed and followed all of them back and we shared a couple of stories and laughed together.  It was nice hearing the ridiculous stories from the three of them especially because they had so many from all of their tours. It was refreshing to not talk about my album for once. I wanted to hang around them so badly I should change into black skinny jeans and a torn up shirt and make myself the fifth member.  

My phone vibrated and I looked down to see a tweet from none other than @5SOS.

New Tweet from 5SOS: @Y/N followed us on Twitter. This is how you know we made it in this world.

I just chuckled and liked it before locking my phone and putting it back in my clutch. Before I could get back in the conversation, I felt someone grab at my waist. I didn’t have to turn around to know that it was Nick who did it.

“Hey guys, mind if I join your little pow wow?” Nick said with as much charm as he has when he talks to the paps. I moved away from his grip and looked at the boys.

Everyone was excited to talk to the one and only Nick Jonas except for Calum. It’s like the tension grew every second that they were with each other. So thick that you could cut it with a knife. I walked over to the dessert table to grab another mini cupcake when my arm was pulled back. I looked to see Nick with a worrisome face. “Don’t you think that’s a bad idea? It’s not a healthy choice and you had a big dinner. Why don’t you and grab a water, and while you’re up there, grab me a gin and tonic?” He kissed my cheek while he put the cupcake back on the table.

I felt my cheeks turn red in embarrassment and I turned to walk away but Calum’s large body stopped mine from going anywhere. I looked up to see just exactly what he was doing. “Calum-”

“You can’t say that to her, if she wants a cupcake she can have one. She's perfectly fit and one more won't hurt her” Calum said with his chest puffed out.

I smiled at him, he was a like a knife in tight leather pants. I was happy that he said something instead of me because I wasn’t going to be able to handle. “Well, last time I checked you weren’t her boyfriend.” Nick spat but Calum was quick to retaliate.

“I’m sure I’d be a much better one that you would be.” Calum looked down to me and shook his head. “No one should have to go through the shit you put her through.”

I gulped back my nervousness and felt Nick pull me close. “It was nice meeting you boys but I think it’s time for us to go home.”

I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye to the boys but when we got in the car, Ashton sent me a text apologizing for Calum’s behavior and that if I needed anything they were just a text away.

The drive home was silent, the kind of silence that you know was going to explode at any moment. Nick and I don’t have a house together but had offered for me to spend the night earlier in the day, a decision I regret right at the moment.

We climbed out of the limo and he slammed the door which made me jump. I was so scared for what might happen that I didn’t even say goodbye to the driver like I normally do. I walked a good two feet in front of Nick to the door. I unlocked it with my key and walked inside but I had just taken my shoes off when Nick pushed me against the wall.

I hit it with a thud and gasped. I was so scared I started crying. “You seemed pretty cozy with those boys, huh?” He spat, some saliva hitting my face, ”It was great to look over and see that black haired boy grabbing your chest when I’m not even allowed to do that. And i’m your boyfriend, for Christ sake!”

His loud voice made me cringe and the smell of alcohol on his breath made me dizzy. I pushed him off of me and pointed my red tipped finger in his direction. “His name is Calum and I got chocolate on my dress and he was trying to help me clean up.” I yelled. “They are my friends, Nick. What the hell was I supposed to do when you just randomly drop an album after talking mine up, huh!? Just sit there and smile like some trophy wife?”

I shook my head and pressed my hands through my hair, wiping at my eyes and looked back at him.  “You're a different person that you were when I met you. You used to be such a sweet and caring guy who went against every tabloid that talked shit about me but now you put me down just as much, if not more, than the goddamn tabloids!” I was now full on crying. He didn’t say anything. He had his hands crossed in front of his chest and looked at me with an emotionless face. So I just kept talking. It’s time to tell him how I truly felt.

“I don’t want this anymore, Nick.” I said with a shaky voice, in fear of what might happen next.

The air between us was silent for a few moments and then it exploded. He threw the priceless vase occupied by sunflowers on to the granite floor causing shattered glass to sprawl out all across the floor. I jumped at the loud sound and with every crush of glass under his Versace boots I became more scared.

He grabbed my arms in a tight grip which I knew would leave finger shaped bruises in the morning. “I stood behind you!” He shouted at my mascara stained face. “After the Jonas Brothers ended I dedicated my time to support your career! Without me, you wouldn’t have become the big star that you are now!” He let go of me and stepped back, wiping his mouth of excess spit. “And now that I have my album coming out, an album that i’ve worked so hard on and for so long, you just don't want to share the spotlight with me even for a second,” He pointed his finger at me and shook his head, his voice low and scary. “You're such a selfish bitch, you know that? And don’t tell me that you stayed the American sweetheart you were when you were young. Well, guess what? You've changed too. You’ve lost your touch and your music has become mainstream tacky. You’ve also gained more weight which it shouldn’t surprise you if that’s what the headlines read in tomorrows edition of People!” he shouted into my face.

I broke down. My body sliding down the wall and collapsing into a crying heap on the floor while Nick walked away and into the next room. How did I end up here? How did him and I end like a tragedy when we were supposed to be a fairytale couple? I needed to get out of this house and fast, I couldn’t be here anymore.

I collected my things carefully amongst the glass shards and walked into the guest bedroom. Sitting down on the barely used bed, I pulled my phone from the clutch and dialed the first person I could think of.

“Hello?” Calum said sounding confused.

“Hey! Yeah, it’s Y/N?” I said with a sniffle. “I was wondering if you would like to hang out tomorrow, if you’re not busy of course.”

“I'm going to be with the boys tomorrow shooting a music video and maybe recording some new music. We'd love for you to join!” I could hear the smile on his voice.

I heard a door slam followed by Nick calling out my name making my heart beat faster.

“Okay, text me the address and I'll meet you there. I have to go.” I rushed out trying to end the conversation.

“Wait, Y/N are you okay? Is Nick drunk? I hear him yelling a-” I cut Calum off with an I'm fine and hung up and threw the phone under the pillow. I ran over to the bathroom and flushed the toilet making it seem like I was in the bathroom. Before I could open up the bedroom door, Nick swung it open and there he stood in his drunk and sweaty glory.

He walked towards me and took my small hands in his. “I'm sorry, please. I didn't mean any of that.” He said with a sigh.  “I don't know what came over me, I'm just stressed and I drank a lot tonight. I’m so sorry, please come and sleep in bed with me.” he kissed my hands and looked into my eyes. I nodded hesitantly and followed him up the grand staircase and into his bedroom. He handed me a pair of shorts and a t shirt to sleep in and I felt slightly better. I crawled into his bed and got under the covers and quickly after me he plopped down right behind me. He wrapped his big arms around me and gave my kiss a sloppy kiss before whispering in my year, “You’re mine and that will never change.”

Instead of falling asleep blissfully, I stayed awake in fear of what the hell I was in for.

[bnhastorywriter-blog]

Your Love Story: Chapter 1.

‘All Might Agency.’

-I’m still open to critique!

- I wanna get better at writing so fire away! ^3^/

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18100832/chapters/43028780#workskin

Your quirk has always been something of a mystery, something difficult to understand and label. You didn't feel overly special with your quirk, although sometimes it really came in handy.

After having a quirk assessment test, of which you had to take multiple times because of the confusing results, you were told you had a mutation of the power to 'shape shift' but to your frustration it was beyond your control. One day you could be a slim blonde with the power to manipulate electricity, albeit the worst you could do was give someone a static shock, another day you might have blue hair, a toned body and the ability to make those around you cry. It was unpredictable and occasionally it made life difficult.

But it did have it's days where it really helped and you felt thankful for those days. Today however it seemed that  you had blonde long hair that reached bellow your shoulders, your skin a pale rosy colour and you had a sprinkle of freckles on your nose.

If there was anything about your body was consistent, it was your eye colour which was always a vibrant shade of sapphire blue. It was the only thing that reminded you of how you were somedays and although you weren't sure of your quirk yet but that was fine, sometimes you wouldn't know of your quirk until you needed it.

Grabbing your navy blue wool coat which rested above your ankles and resting your saddle bag on your shoulder, you grabbed your keys locked the door and set off.

You had a smile on your face today as you remembered how important today was. It was a year ago today that your life changed. Since All Might caught you from falling and you had found hope again.

Naturally after he had left you at the infirmary which was not quiet nor helpful to how you felt since you were a blushing mess as he held you so casually in his arms, you were offered help and support from everyone. Your former colleagues popped in concerned for you, your family; your mother, of whom was most concerned of all and vowed to help you recover. She held your hand as they kept you in that night and you both cried and had a one to one talk about what happened.

To be honest you weren't really sure what caused your mind to change to suddenly. Your mother believed that sometimes you embrace your new appearance too much and fall into a role that isn't actually you. You accepted that, it might not be the entire truth but for her peace of mind, you both took that.

It took weeks of counselling before you felt much better and a year on you wanted to thank All Might and now you were a bus trip away to the big city and to where his agency was.

The weather that day was impeccable as their was hardly a cloud in the sky. The cherry blossom trees were due to bloom soon, a season that you thoroughly enjoyed since all it took was a small breeze and anyone could look cool with the petals floating by.

The crowds of school children walking by was a big indicator that spring was due, since they go back around that time. It was a nice reminder of your own time in school before the big hero test.

"How many of these students would become heroes?" you thought to yourself but quickly that trail of thought was cut off as the bus got closer to your stop, you felt the familiar feeling of butterflies in your tummy as it was nerve wracking to be so close to someone you admired, to have the guts to speak to them, the thought of speaking to someone so important was scary.

Regardless you got off the bus and headed towards the lingering tower where his agency was on the top floor. It was busy and overwhelmingly clinical as people on phones, holding clipboards and reading messages on their phones walked past or slightly into you, not having the time or awareness that they were in the wrong.

Once at the elevator, you had your head low and held your bag tight with nerves. Had you made the right idea? You weren't so sure now that you were here and surrounded by people that were trying to do their jobs. You didn't fit in with them anymore, it felt alien to be around them.

It wasn't much better once you finally arrived on the top floor, their were security checks and a large crew of photographers and interviewers who must daily be here to get even a moment of the symbol of peace's time. Initially you laughed off the idea that they must be hindrance to such an important hero.

"Am I going to be a bother?" You thought, stopping dead in your tracks. Glancing over at the mob of people waiting for him to return you wondered, "He probably wouldn't even remember you so... aren't you also going to waste his time?"

You didn't have much time to dwell on those thoughts as the roof above you suddenly started to open and a loud recorded message repeated.

"ROOF IS OPENING. ROOF IS OPENING. ALL MIGHT WILL ARRIVE SOON." The message repeats but even before the roof is fully open, a man suddenly lands on the marked spot on the ground.

"I AM.... HERE!" You hear that signature laugh that eases the heart of everyone around as they know their saviour is here, "HOME AGAIN!!"

Now catching up was a gust of wind that filled the room, the receptionists who were now very used to this already had their hands firmly placed onto their paperwork as they carried on talking on their phones.

"HA HA HA!" All Might laughed as he stood upright in the room with a few bags of appreciative gifts from the people he had saved.

The group of photographers and people wanting to ask him questions shoved you aside, "Mr All Might any words of inspiration?" as they stood before him shouting a range of questions, "Do you read any questions on your blog?" both serious and out-right ridiculous, "Can you sign my hat? And this contract??"

He waved his hand and everyone stopped speaking, "SORRY BUT I MOST BE OFF AND TRAIN FOR MY NEXT MISSION! THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT!" He said over them as he made his way to the unopenable All Might door, he gave a little wave before slamming it shut behind him.

It was silent in the room but once the dust settled and everyone headed towards the lift, all mumbling about something or other, You sighed and headed over to the desk, your expression undoubtedly showed your disappointment.

There were two ladies, a young one and another one that was seemingly a little older, maybe in her mid thirties? You weren't sure but she had lines under their eyes unlike the other lady who was focused on her work. They wore identical uniforms which were slim dresses, identical hats with a small accessory on it that resembled All Might's signature hair attached to it and a cute bow around their necks, you couldn't really see any another important details.

So you waited patiently for one of them to finish their phone call, fidgeting in place as you waited, glancing over at where All Might had stood just minutes before. You felt a little silly standing here now, because deep down you had to have known that he wouldn't have the time to speak to just anyone.

One of the ladies put their phone down with a click, she tucked her fringe back under her hair and smiled, "Can I help you?"

You turn back towards the desk, "Yes I um..." you rummage through your bag, "I brought a letter for All Might and was hoping..." where is that letter?!

You didn't hear a door opening near you but as your face brightened in embarrassment, you overheard the passing conversation.

"Hello I have here a few souvenirs from All Might." A man said.

"Wow thank you!" Both ladies squealed in delight at the gifts. The older women reached out to the bag and looked inside, showing the other lady their gifts.

He smiled at their reaction before saying, "If you don't mind, I'm going to head to the café a few floors down..."

Suddenly the younger lady spoke, "Wait sir, this young lady here was waiting for All Might but I think she has something for him."

"Oh?" He noticed her at the desk but presumed that she was just another reporter.

"Yes! I have a letter!" Finally grabbing hold of the now embarrassingly pink envelope you nearly hit the man as you put your hands out.

He stumbles back a little before smiling it off. He could easily see that you were flustered, so he gently took the letter from your hands.

"I can give it to him." He can see your shoulders relax and eyes open as he takes it and puts it into his bag, "I'm Yagi Toshinori by the way."

You were taken aback by his appearance initially. He stood tall and lanky with a slight hunch, his hair was thin and untamed and a shade a blonde, but it was his eyes that certainly had your attention, they were sunken but despite that you could faintly see blue eyes.

He glances over at the two ladies at the reception desk, they chuckle before ducking back to their work. You were seemingly looking at him for too long, it made you blush.

"S-sorry! I am Yuui Reeda, it's nice to meet you!" You hold out your hand again. "It's alright." He smiles again and shakes your hand.

He seemed so genuine and nice to you, naturally you felt your cheeks brighten though the moment was cut short when you heard rumbling sound. It was then his turn to be flustered.

"Ah haha," he laughs, "I apologize, it's been a long day... I don't suppose I can buy you lunch? ...oh, er, as a thank you for waiting?" He stuttered, not being able to look at you now.

Taking your hand back you rest your hand on your stomach as it conveniently rumbles.

"That would be nice... thank you." You smile a genuine smile towards him, not noticing how he shyly rubs the back of his head.

By three o'clock you were home, he had not only bought you lunch which was way too fancy for a simple 'thank you' lunch, but he also offered to take you home. You insisted on giving him money for everything but the man was too polite and declined, remarking that it wasn't too often that he got to treat anyone.

You were incredibly flustered the whole time you were with him. Because of your constant change of appearance, it was difficult to find anyone who didn't panic when the beautiful women from the night before had suddenly aged ten years.

So dating fell off your radar for a long time now. Not that you assumed that what happened this afternoon was a date but to anyone looking at them they surely assumed...

He really seems like a nice man, and once the initial nervousness of being around him had faded, you both got talking about a lot of stuff. Though he didn't say much on himself, he was interested in you and listened to what you had to say.

You can feel your heart beating at that thought. He cared about you and gave you advice, even when it wasn't personal stuff. Somehow the topic changed to your favorite meals and even though they weren't the same, it was fun to discuss how to enhance those dishes and exchange recipes.

As you look out at the sunsetting sky you wonder if maybe he would like to meet again?

You sighed and shook your head, "A nice thought though..."