#I am going to get fried under the sun

[arsene-fixates]

F/o and I are Not beating the heat.

[i-am-hungry-24-7]

Read your post about something other than angst for Simon so I have a thought that needs to get out. Morning routine with Simon. Obviously, the man is military and has a strict routine but that all goes to shit with you. Sleeping in, lazy lunch, all that cute couples shit but with Simon.

hello! tyvm for sending this idea! cute and silly couple’s domestic fluff is sweeettt!! I hope you will enjoy this :D 💖

A Day of A Cute (and Silly) Couple - Simon Riley*Reader

[6:00]

Simon doesn’t need an alarm, he automatically wakes up at 6 am.

Jogging is an important part of his morning routine when he’s on leave, a nice way to maintain his stamina, and to keep him from getting too loose.

“Where you... going...”

Oh, he forgets he has an unavoidable barrier, between him and his morning jog.

Simon looks down at you, clenching at the hem of his shirt. Your eyes aren’t even open, you just catch him in instinct and now refusing to let go.

“Go for a jog, you know it, love.” The calmness of morning makes him explain in a soft tone unconsciously.

“Stay... please...”

“You can hug your blåhaj first, I will be back soon, yeah?”

“You feel better than blåhaj...”

“...”

It’s too cruel for him to just leave you here, not when you choose him over that bloody shark you always squeeze against your body.

Simon secures the curtain so the room won’t be too bright after the sun fully rises, and lies back on the bed.

Your limbs immediately twine around him when you sense his figure is nearby, and scoots closer to him.

Jogging is important to keep him from getting loose... it’s a must for him to be strict with his morning routine...

The voices in his mind are gradually replaced by the little snores of yours as he drifts back to sleep.

[12:00]

“Can we eat fries for lunch?”

you yell at Simon who’s preparing lunch in the kitchen.

“No”

“WHYYYY!”

“UNHEALTHY!” He shouts back so his voice won’t get covered by the noise of the range hood.

okay then... you feel a bit disappointed, but you can’t come up with a convincing reason, so you just back to sweeping the floor.

just as you’re cleaning the last few spots, a scrumptious smell catches your attention, it’s not those chicken breast or salad or scrambled eggs that Simon deems healthier.

“Do you make fries?!” You knock open the kitchen door with excitement.

What you see is Simon sprinkling some salt and pepper on a bowl of fries, and he turns to you when you rush in like an energetic child.

“A few fries are tolerable” He shows you the bowl, and you can’t wait to reach out and take a bite on the crunchy and golden fries.

“Thank you, baby.” You press an open mouth kiss on your lover’s cheek.

“Don’t kiss me with your greasy mouth...”He growls, but you’re already leaving the kitchen, lilting an off-key song with the bowl of fries in your arms.

Simon just shakes his head and starts cleaning the countertop. If some fries can make you this happy, then fuck those healthy diets.

[18:00]

You two sitting face to face on the couch, the air is full of tension when you speak first.

“Mushroom”

“Mango”

“Oreo”

“Orange”

“Egg”

“g...”

“It’s over 2 seconds! Go take out the garbage, silly!”

“Fucking hell...”

Snickering at Simon’s loss, as he grumbles and on his way to grab the garbage, you add another star under your name to ‘the winner of the week’ sticky note that’s pasting on the fridge.

[23:00]

“Time to sleep.”

“but I want to watch this movie.”

“You can watch it tomorrow.”

“pleassee I want to watch it nowww Simonnn”

“...Fine.”

(00:00)

Simon looking at you sleeping like a log, whole body leaning on him and tangling him like an octopus, totally ignoring the wretched screaming from the movie, sighs and turns off the TV.

He leaves a night lamp for you, in case you need to get up for water during the night, and adjusts you two into a more comfortable posture.

He hears you mumbling something like donuts or maybe your favorite character, and chuckles quietly at how silly you are.

He already knew you would fall asleep during the movie, so that’s why he gave in, and time proves that his prediction’s correct since he’s looking at your serene face now.

“Goodnight.” Satisfied with you resting safe and sound in his arms, Simon plants a kiss on the top of your head and closes his eyes, hoping for a sweet dream that has you in it.

a/n: blåhaj sorry I love u I don't mean to harm u

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Getting hot under the collar and in the kitchen and on the pool table and...

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Aug 2024 Week 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

Monster Next Door (Thai Thurs Gaga ) eps 3-4 of 12 - one of the things I'm enjoying about this show is the fact that the introverted super shy uke is having hot fantasies, and the extroverted seme is having the sweet fantasies. It's another way this show is highlighting God being the world's greenest flagged seme BL has ever produced. (And he's being given stiff competition this year - trend alert.)

Anygay: God is so cute and so not cool and so in love and all the consent asking word salad coming out of this boy. I LOVE him. 

Diew: It’s ep 4 so I’ve decided we can talk face-to-face.  God: So how many children do you want? 

The teaching him to play basketball bit, where God politely asks to hold his hand, is so freaking adorable I can’t.

I'm thinking of calling this show the anti-Mame pill.

Blue pill? Red pill? GREEN pill!

My Love Mix-Up Th (Fri YT) ep 11 of 12 - We gotta talk. I do like this version, but it’s starting to feel lackluster. Perhaps it always was by comparison to the bright sparkle uniqueness of the original. Perhaps I didn't notice because I was distracted by G4. But now I gotta say it's become a bit disappointing and even my love for G4 can’t seem to bind me to this. Frankly, this show is making me want to watch either the Japanese version, or My School President. It’s never a good sign when a currently airing BL makes me want to stop that and go rewatch an old one I’ve already seen.

NO SINGING.

Meanwhile, the "locked on the rooftop" trope! I haven’t seen that one in years. Cool. Also cute kisses. They learning. 

This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans (Fri iQIYI) ep 7 of 8 - I can’t believe this is ending next week. But also I can. And I have thoughts.

I really love SailubPon. They might be one of my favorite newer pairs on the scene right now. But I just don’t believe in these characters or this couple. I don’t feel like they are going to have a lasting relationship. It feels like they’re just using each other for sex and distraction, and that’s how the script to set it up, and as a result they’re never gonna make it as a couple. As soon as the sexual fire between them burns out, what do they have to build a relationship on? Frankly? That would be fine if this were a modern love drama, and not a BL. But this IS a BL.

Putting the health code violators aside, I really do believe in the secondary pair, but they haven’t been given enough bandwidth to develop as a couple. There’s no way they’re going to adequately resolve Methas and JJ in the final episode.

At this juncture, I’m mostly finding this show annoying. Which in itself is annoying, because I wanted to love it.

Why is it that Thailand, the land of the best food in the world, king of BLs, struggles so hard to produce the restaurant set BL of my dreams? I’m really pissed about this.

That said, the Methas & JJ stuff is killer. Loved JJ running away. So good. Plus the age old decision - love or money? 

Battle of the Writers (Sun YT) ep 2-3 of 12 - The issue was me and I've managed to get hold of this show again. The story within the story is so ridiculously badly written I'm going spare. I’m not sure if the outside show is not ALSO badly written. That said, I do love how the 3 writer friends are all shipping our leads. It’s VERY silly. Meanwhile, cohabitation trope is a go. 

I like the side couple too. Stern Daddy + lost puppy is a very cute dynamic, I hope we get more than just crumbs. I actually am enjoying this show now. Ep 3 kinda derailed into this weird chimera novel that they’re all writing together and I’m finding that bit the least interesting, but I adore the domestic components which I think may turn out to be TutorYim's strength (if they're allowed to lean into it). 

Addicted Heroin (Thai Tues WeTV) ep 1 of 10 - Man I hope this gets some kind of distribution at some point. It was a pain to find and watch. But I enjoyed it. The focus is more on the seme in Thailand’s version. Which I don’t mind since that's rare in BL, and it’s more August on my screen. It’s all round softer than China’s version but still feels very familiar. I know some fans are struggling with it, but not me.

Sunset X Vibes (Sat iQIYI) ep 10 of 12 - I like that Sam’s crafty business espionage has paid off. Them teasing Sam & Yo really had me belly laughing. It was so funny.

Legitimate question. Would one put perfume on one’s cheeks in Thailand, as one does on wrist or sternum? Because of the sniff cheek thing? Scented face powders?

I do feel like with MosBank & SailubPon scorching up our screens, we’re being spoiled by some of Thailand‘s best high heat pairs at the moment.

I Saw You in My Dream (Weds Gaga) ep 5 of 12 - It remains kind of sweet and cute. It's also calm and slow moving. Oddly it reminds me of La Cuisine in its style and execution (if not content). I’m enjoying it more than I thought I would.

The Trainee (Sun YouTube) ep 7 of 12 - I don’t know. I’m getting bored.

Love Sea (Sun iQIYI) ep 10fin - Fort’s acting during the break-up was truly great. But I feel for Rak. It’s rough to learn that someone else is playing a long game with feelings while you were playing a short game with d**k.

Ultimately this is probably a solid 8/10 show but I’m mad I wasn’t madder at it, and I'm mad I was so bored throughout. So it gets a 7/10 and let us not speak of this again. I’d like to simply forget about it. Trash watch.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Sugar Dog Life (Japan Sun grey) ep 1-2 of 10 - OMG a uni student who looks young and a... COP! GAH. The subversion and kink of it all. I had to go grey to get it and I hate everything about what I had to do. But ya know what? Fucking worth every single repeated crash-causing advertisement.

I love it. The grumpy lonely little student cook and the cheerful mature police officer. What a fabulous dynamic. Is the cook looking for a boyfriend or a Daddy, and do we care if it has the same result? It is filmed VERY manga style camp. I’m a little nervous about that, but this means it’s also very fluffy and so damn sweet. It made me squeak with the cute. I’m gutted this didn’t get distribution.

Ironic that Tawada Hideya is in a new BL while Sunspot is re-airing.

Cosmetic Playlover (Japan Tues Gaga) eps 3-4 of 8 - Ah, the gays are doubting the bisexual again. How familiar. I like how this one is paced and moving through time, even if the relationship seems to be going comparatively slowly by contrast. I love the way Sahashi is always looking at Natsume, even when they’re in conversation with someone else. Ah yearning. I think the conflict was kind of inevitable, given the two personalities of the protagonists, and I like that. (No manufactured angst here.) But I still hope they can repair the breach and I’m still interested. Frankly this is so classically Japan - I don’t know what story beats it’s following and I’m not entirely sure where it’s going, but I kinda like that unpredictability. Makes me think it could go into "must you, Japan?" territory but fingers crossed.

I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 9 of 10 - I'm enjoying it very much. I could do without the girl character. I know she’s more interesting than most (this is Japan after all), but she’s not really for me. It’s the complexity of the connection between the leads (and why they like each other) that’s being executed so brilliantly in this show (and in the manga, FYI). Both actors are so on point with their roles and the nuanced emotions required of these characters that every time it’s only them interacting I'm riveted. I could do without the rest of the cast tho.

Seoul Blues (Korea Fri? YouTube) ep 1 of 8 - I have a confession to make, I’ve been watching this whole series as it goes along. But this is the pair I absolutely like the most. I’m not sure I would necessarily recommend any of the installments, and I’m not sure how this one is going to go, but I’m VERY invested in this particular couple. They are so pretty!!!! This is a true friends-to-lovers struggle. I like that a lot. (Reminds me of I Cannot Reach You but a different dynamic.) Did I mention how pretty they are? And we already know they gonna kiss well. I bet the uncut version is stellar.

Meet You at the Blossom (China) - It's no one's funeral, turns out! Reports are in - not only are there kisses but it ends happily with wedding plans. So I'm eating crow, binging the fucker, and live blogging. I'm enjoying it. Ya'll know I adored Chinese BL before censorship. It has a certain unhinged quality I very much apreciate (and is the reason I'm so tolerant of the Thai pulps) that I think will marry well with Wuxia's effervescent and ever-present tropes. Watch me suffer here.

First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) eps 1-2 of 12 - About a singer with stage fright and his timid fan starring Charles (H4 the puppy one) and Michael Chang (the youngster in My Tooth Your Love), plus side couple featuring a Thai actor Jame (Koh in Gen Y) and Liu Min Ting (of Guardian fame). What a damn team. With their powers combined they are...

fine.

This is a fine BL. The fight scene was fun and I like the meet cute. I’m not sure about the chemistry of the leads, but I think they’ll probably do okay. I admit I’m struggling a bit with a singing and the music. Are you surprised? I think I like it enough, but I’m not wowed.

Takara's Treasure AKA Takara No Vidro (Japan Mon Gaga) ep 7 of 10 - Oh! Out of the blue attack kiss. What IS this show? I don’t get it at all. Bah. I guess they’re dating now. It’s… so odd...

It's airing but...

4 Minutes (Thai Netflix/Grey) - A rich boy at uni suddenly gains the supernatural power to see four minutes into the future. I have a source, but I've decided to hold off and binge if it ends okay, since it's only 8 eps. I depend upon y'all to tell me if it's safe.

8/16 The Last Time (Thai Fri YT) ? eps - Convoluted story of loss and possible reincarnation or something. Again delayed? Not sure what's going on with this one but the continued push-backs do not bode well.

In case you missed it

The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer IS COMING IN SEPTEMBER!!!! (Yeah this is gonna sit here until then).

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Still Coming This Month!

8/22 The On1y One (Taiwan Thurs Gaga) 12 eps - announced in 2023 this one has a high school set stepbrothers trope and is reputed to be high heat. From Taiwan! It's made for me. Based on a novel Mou Mou from the Your Name Engraved Herein folks, so it could go dark. Still, I'm very excited.

8/22 The Paradise of Thorns (Thai movie) theater release - Jeff Satur is back but this does not look like a BL (the gay lover's death is the inciting event). More in Goodbye Mother vein. Looks dark and dramatic. He opposite and extremely well known actor Toey Pongsakorn who has never done gay before.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

WHY IS HE SO FINE?

I truly belly laughed. Sam & Yo did not go in the direction I expected, but this scene alone made me not mind that they curtailed the suffering Sam was rightfully due. (SunsetXVibes)

Tall boyfriend armpit, anyone? (Monster Next Door)

The two extremes of BL in one show (Long Beans indeed).

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in its infinite wisdom doesn't like too many tags.

[jensettermandu]

looking for you in sunsets - rosé

genre; angst, some fluff

pairing; rosé x g!p reader

content warning; mature and sensitive topics that might not be suitable for everyone dealing with mental health issues. prioritize your health.

description; she is always there for you. you're always there for her. you two are always there for each other no matter how far away you two are and nothing would ever change that.

words; 22k+

masterlist

You sighed, toning out all the noise in the classroom with your eyes landing on the table right beside yours, the seat by the window. They always landed there, but it was empty and it made you wonder where your best friend Chaeyoung could be right now since she wasn't where she was supposed to be.

You tapped your shoes against the ground under your feet, waiting for Chaeyoung at the bus stop where you two always met since she lived just slightly outside the city. Ignoring the older woman that glanced your way, probably annoyed with how restless you were, but you didn't like waiting or standing still for too long. Humming quietly to yourself with the sun shining extra brightly today, hitting your back and warming you up. The sound of a vehicle approaching made you look up to see Chaeyoung's bus coming your way, slowing down the closer it got to the bus stop.

The green bus came to a stop at last, the doors opening and you smiled always thinking that those buses looked funny for some reason especially when your friend would jump the little gap between the ground and the bus. She did just that, her blonde hair bouncing with her before falling gently down her shoulders, shimmering in the sun together with her brown eyes that landed on you. You smiled big and watched her smile back, her eyes squinting and you always loved seeing her eye smile because it was truly one of a kind.

You basically skipped from your spot before walking to Chaeyoung who was approaching you. No matter what, it was always like a reunion with you two even if you had seen each other just a day before. "Finally." You breathed out and hugged her around her shoulders as she wrapped her arms around your waist since she was slightly shorter. "Stop acting like you waited hours...Plus, I told you exactly at what time my bus would be here." Chaeyoung said and made you squirm away from her when she poked your sides. You rolled your eyes and looked at your wristwatch. "Well, your bus was two minutes late." You pointed out, and she shoved you before grabbing your wrist, making you walk with her before letting go once you were walking beside her.

"Two minutes Y/n, nothing I can do about the bus being late." You looked at her as she spoke, Chaeyoung looking up from the ground in front of you two and looking at you, still with a smile on her face. She was always smiling and her smile was always so contagious that you could never be in a bad mood around her. You grabbed her hand and changed direction. "Let's eat, I managed to starve while waiting." This made her groan and let you drag her as she followed with heavy steps. "I am poor at the moment, Y/n." Chaeyoung complained and you waved her off, walking towards the small place where you two would eat as it was close to the bus stop. Sitting there and eating or just had something to drink usually while waiting for her bus when she had to go home or just eat like now.

"It's fine. I got my pay just a few days ago so it's on me." You explained since it never mattered. Sometimes you would pay, sometimes she would and no one counted the pennies cause they didn't matter in the end did they? They didn't, the time you two spent together was more luxurious and precious than the money you two would spend. "Do I get a milkshake?" Chaeyoung questioned and you hummed, getting closer to the small diner. "You get anything you want while I am rich." You confirmed and let go of her hand when you reached the door, opening it for her and letting her walk in first before stepping inside right after. The smell of fries and the oil they fried in immediately attacked your nose and you greeted the guy at the counter.

-

You two sat in the booth you two would always sit at, in the furthest corner at the place by the window. Always sitting in the same spot and you two had been doing it ever since you started coming to this place which was a good six years ago. That was when your parents started allowing you two to go out alone. You and Chaeyoung had known each other for 13 years now, meeting in kindergarten at five and since then you two had always stuck together, nothing separating you two- being 18 now.

"I doubt that these fries are made of potatoes." You chuckled at what she said, watching her eat the fry she inspected just a second ago. "That's what makes them good...I've heard that they used to coat Mc fries in beef fat to get that famous flavour, not sure if they still do it." She hummed and reached for a nugget in the box you two were sharing, ordering the share box for two people, just like always knowing that it was just enough to feed you both without any leftovers. "Not knowing what's in these makes them so much better...But chicken nuggets are so relatable, they are the most relatable food out there." You stopped yourself at that and looked at her with your head tilted.

"Am I going to get to listen to slam poetry about nuggets now?" You questioned with a smile, taking a nugget and eating it to stop yourself from laughing. "Do you want to? I came up with something good." Your best friend seriously said and you nodded, Chaeyoung took another nugget and held it so you could see it too. You watched as she thought it through for a bit before looking at you.

"We are all like chicken nuggets, a nugget is not real chicken, it's fake, but yet it's so delicious but also harmful and so are we. What's behind the crust is not what we want people to think, it's not chicken, but a bunch of goop containing God knows what, that's why we don't want anyone to find out what really is in that goop we are made of. Because what if people stop thinking that we are delicious if they find out that it's not chicken, that it's all fake?...That's all." You both looked at each other, trying to stay serious but laughed in the end. "But, it makes sense, doesn't it?" Chaeyoung asked through her laughter, reaching for her milkshake to try and calm down a bit, feeling her cheeks hurt from all the smiling.

You hummed, nodding your head at what she said because it did make sense although the fact that she was using a nugget for it made it ridiculous. "It actually does...You should write a poetry book, it would earn you big nuggets." You said and laughed at your own joke, stopping when you saw that Chaeyoung wasn't laughing at it. "You know because, gold nugget and you would earn big nuggets, basically a lot of money." You tried but she only glanced at you weirdly, making you flick a fry her way. "Hey!" She exclaimed and brushed the fry off her, throwing it at the napkin beside her.

"It was funny- but whatever, I will let you pretend that it wasn't...Oh! Jennie told me that you guys have a cheer contest in what was it like two months and that it will be quite big." Chaeyoung looked up from her food at that and looked confused for a second before it hit her. Almost forgetting about the contest she and the rest of the cheer team were competing in. "Yeah, it will be quite big since it's the annual cheer contest in the region Y/n." She let out with slight sarcasm since they had it every year and you made it sound like this would be the first time. You grumbled at that, it wasn't your fault that you didn't keep track of every contest and event that was going to happen. "Whatever, I saw the confusion, you forgot yourself. But I will be there and cheer for both you and Jennie, well, basically the whole team since it's a team sport. You guys won last year and are bound to win this year too." You excitedly said as you had always been cheering for them ever since Chaeyoung joined the team.

"Who's name are you going to write on your sign?" Chaeyoung asked with a teasing tone, but you rolled your eyes. "Yours and Jennie's, like I have been doing for the past three years." You stated the obvious since she always asked the same thing whenever there was some type of cheer contest. You always had hers and your girlfriend's name on that banner that was almost always your size, wanting everyone to know who the two best women in your life were. You loved both just as much, but it was just a different kind of affection. You were sure that you could have more than one soulmate and that not all soulmates were meant to be lovers although one was your lover and the other was your best friend.

"Are you going to need two people to hold it this time too? I feel like last year was a bit overboard, you got told to put it down since you were blocking the view together with Jisoo for everyone." Chaeyoung said and chuckled as you looked down, the moment was still slightly embarrassing although Chaeyoung and Jennie found it very sweet. You decided to try your luck and together with Jisoo made a giant sign with both Jennie's and Chaeyoungs names that needed you both to hold it up only to get told to put it down since the people behind you couldn't see a thing. "It's the thought that counts, but I think we might go smaller this year." You said, giving her a smile as you looked up. "Although, we are still going to cheer just as loud." You reassured her since you would still be screaming for the two even if the sign was smaller.

"Of course, you will." She said and sighed, grabbing more fries and you shrugged. There was no way that you wouldn't. "You guys cheer when we have games." You reminded her, the basketball team wasn't only known for how good you guys played but also for how supportive everyone was together with the cheer team that always made the whole crowd erupt into even louder cheers. "That's what the cheer team is for, isn't it?" You gave her a sceptic look. "Maybe, but you guys do it the best when we play, unlike the rest of the school teams...I think that's cause I am on the basketball team." You said, getting slightly cocky with it, but it was the truth. You had both your girlfriend and best friend cheering for you so obviously, the basketball team would have them cheer the best although they were always great.

"I think you as a captain tell them to perform better just for me." You continued and groaned once Chaeyoung kicked your shin. Sending her a glare as you reached under the table and rubbed your shin to ease the pain. "Keep on telling yourself that. As a captain, I tell them to give their best every time, Y/n." She corrected, and you waved her off although Chaeyoung was really a great cheer captain. "You're just too shy to admit that I am right." This time she threw a fry at you and you laughed. "Ok fine, maybe I make them perform the slightest bit better." She admitted not being able to lie to you.

-

You walked through the mall with Chaeyoung by your side, just wandering around the city like usual when you two were together. The nuggets were at the pit of your stomachs as you both were full. "Look, there's literally no line to the photo booth. Let's go." Chaeyoung exclaimed when her eyes landed on the photo booth you two skipped on last time since there was a line to it- last time the mall was pretty busy with people. "Last one there-." You didn't even get to finish what you were going to say when she raced right by you, already running to the booth. Without a second thought, you quickly took off after her, putting your long legs to good use and catching up to her. You were right on her heels, but it was too late as she landed inside the booth first.

"Oh fuck." You both groaned at the same time when you flew in right after her, forgetting to stop, colliding with Chaeyoung who collided with the wall, the whole booth rumbling with the both of you inside it. "I think I broke my knee." The girl whined and slumped down on the small stool inside the booth, holding onto her knee. "Can you even break a knee?" You questioned and chuckled at the whole situation as you stood leaning against the wall, catching your breath with your hands on your knees. "I'm not sure, but I fucked up something in my knee because of you." You lifted your head, looking up at Chaeyoung who was levelled with you, meeting each other's eyes.

"You sure? Let me see." You said and removed her hands from it, flicking her knee, making Chaeyoung smack your hands away. You laughed and she pushed you away from her. "It will be fine or do you want me to kiss it and blow on it?" Chaeyoung tsk'd and flipped you off. "You can kiss the tip of my finger." She snapped and you leaned forward with your lips puckered to kiss her finger, only to get your face pushed away with Chaeyoung giggling. "Stop being annoying and let's take those photos." You grinned at what she said and turned away from her to insert your card, wanting to take those photos with Chaeyoung to add to your and her collection with all the polaroid and other photos you had together.

You finished and shuffled over to Chaeyoung, standing behind her as she pressed the button. Posing with your arm around her shoulder, big smiles on your faces as the first photo got taken, changing pose for the next. You threw a peace sign, Chaeyoung winking with a pout with your cheeks squished together. It was as if you two were using telekinesis by knowing exactly what to do next, the both of you making faces for the third photo with giggles. "Goddammit Park Chaeyoung!" You exclaimed in pain when she bit your finger right when the last picture snapped. "That's for the knee." She huffed as you retreated your arm from around her, looking at the bite mark left on your index finger. "You rat." You said after seeing the teeth mark on your finger, the girl not caring as she got up from the stool and left the booth to take the pictures.

You flailed your hand as you followed her out of the booth, seeing her already holding the photo strip that had the four pictures on it. Looking as her smile grew as she looked over it carefully. You walked over to her and stood behind her, looking over her shoulder to see the photos too. "You're such a rat, just look at you." You laughed and pointed at the photo where she bit your finger, your face holding pure pain and her only holding pure satisfaction by getting back at you. "Want me to bite you again?" She threatened and your hands quickly went behind your back to avoid getting bitten again. Pursing your lips as she turned around to face you, shoving the photo strip into your chest. "You keep this one." She said with a smile and you took it.

"No, you can have this one...I think I took the last one we took together." You said about to hand it back to her, but she stopped you. "No, keep this one so you can remember not to mess with me." You chuckled at that and nodded, taking out your wallet and placing it inside it. "Just don't ruin it." She was quick to say when she saw you placing it inside the wallet. Chaeyoung frowned and took the wallet and strip from you, deciding that it would be better if she did it knowing how careless you could be, you did just run into her. "See, you need to be more careful...Some things are fragile, Y/n." Chaeyoung scolded and you just watched her before getting your wallet handed back to you. "I will keep that in mind." You said and put the wallet back into your pocket.

-

You grabbed Chaeyoung's favourite crisps from the shelf as you two were at the grocery store to get some snacks to then find some spot to chill at. Walking over to the fridge with sodas after. "Do you want ice tea as usual?" You questioned as you opened the fridge, Chaeyoung behind you hummed and helped you by holding the fridge. "Do you remember the ice tea toddy?" She asked and you chuckled at that, taking two iced teas, and handing one to Chaeyoung. "How could I forget...Jisoo still won't touch iced tea." You said and she laughed, nodding, it was an inside joke between your guy's friend group that had been going on for a year now. "It does work as a great mixer, but it's too good." You said and the blonde agreed.

Both of you remembered how Jisoo found out how good of a mixer ice tea was for vodka, to the point where she lost track of how much she had to drink and everything just reversed and she threw it all up. The girl still couldn't touch iced tea- the event had traumatized her so much. Just the smell made her gag. "Do you remember the little raft?" You asked, suddenly a lot of memories just came back and the girl bumped into you as she walked beside you, making you wrap your arm around her shoulders. "How could I forget? Jennie gave you the biggest scolding of the century." She teased and squirmed slightly when you pinched her cheek with the hand that was around her shoulders.

"I shouldn't have gotten scolded, it was Jungkook's fault I fell in the water in the first place." You said, you still were set on it being the boy's fault. You guys had found a random raft by the lake and you and Jungkook got on it, pushing it away from shore only realizing you guys had no paddles when it was a bit too late. It ended with Jungkook trying to jump back to shore since you guys weren't too far away, he managed to make the jump although he sent the whole raft flying together with you and you ended up falling into the water. "You two were stupid enough to get on that raft and push it away without any paddles." Chaeyoung said, knowing that it was stupid of both of you, but it was funny in the end and she still remembers all these things so vividly. Every single memory made with you and your guy's friends was always so vivid and she would never forget them and the same went for you.

"How about the time we had orienteering and you tricked our group out of the forest and to a diner instead." You said and a bashful smile spread across her face and she shrugged your arm off from around her. "I was hungry and did not feel like walking around a forest looking for checkpoints...In the end, everyone was happy." She explained herself like she has been doing for a good three years now. You guys were in a group of five and had orienteering for P.E. class and had two hours to try and get all the checkpoints. Chaeyoung announced that she was super good at it and would lead the way- only to lead you all to a diner. It ended with you guys getting five out of 15 checkpoints that were spread across the forest that wasn't too far from the city. Getting them on the way back from the diner after you all ate. "Everyone except the teacher." You pointed out as the teacher wasn't happy with a group of five people only getting five checkpoints in the span of two hours.

"When are they happy with anything?" She threw the question out there and took a turn with you as you needed to pick up one last thing before heading to check out. "It's a miserable job isn't it?" You said as you yourself would never want to work with teens if they were all like you and your friends. "Pretty much..." Chaeyoung trailed off as she watched you stop and look at the store shelf, realizing what aisle you had dragged her in. "How can you buy condoms right in front of me Y/n? I'm from a Christian household...no sex before marriage." Chaeyoung let out in pure disbelief, giving you a terrified look and you shoved her away slightly. "Shut up, Chaeyoung." You said and reached for the ultra thins since Jennie preferred it when you guys wouldn't use condoms, but considering that she wasn't on birth control that didn't happen often and this was the best option.

"What?" She asked confused, playing dumb and innocent which you knew she was not. "Are we just supposed to forget about Lisa the foreign exchange student from last year?" You quipped, knowing very well what went down since she had told you. You two told each other everything. There wasn't a single thing you two did not know about each other. "I don't know what you are talking about." She continued to play dumb and you gave her a look, seeing the small tint on her cheeks. Lisa was an exchange student at your school and you guys got along well, but she and Chaeyoung got along extra good and it was sort of a fling thing that ended once she left with no hard feelings.

"Or maybe your first boyfriend?" You added, being well aware of how much she hated when you mentioned that- it wasn't because it was a bad breakup or anything, it was because the girl was as straight as a circle and looked so stupid trying to date that guy when she was 15. It ended pretty quickly, but still, a few things went down and she wasn't the proudest of them. "Ew, don't mention him." Chaeyoung said and cringed, the two of you walking out the aisle, making it to the checkout now while grabbing a few sweets on the way. "Either way, you are no virgin Mary, Park Chaeyoung." You clearly stated and she quickly looked around you both before sending you a glare. "Jeez, Y/n louder. What if my sister would just pop out of nowhere and would hear you." She complained and you rolled your eyes at what she said.

"Oh, so you think your sister is stupid and doesn't know?" You asked, not believing that her sister didn't know that your best friend, Park Chaeyoung was no saint. "Yes, yes I do." She stated a quick and short answer, giving you a nod of affirmation as she was sure that her sister was very much clueless about it all. You stifled a laugh at that and looked as she ran her hand through her perfectly silky hair. Her hair fell down her shoulders and rested on her black hoodie that was contrasting her blonde hair. "Then you are the stupid one." You concluded as you two stopped in line to checkout. She scoffed at that.

"Just buy the fucking condoms so you don't get Jennie pregnant by accident." Chaeyoung let out frustrated now because you might've been right, her sister Alice was smart in the end while Chaeyoung was smart but was also a terrible liar. You laughed at that and patted her back to get her to calm down. "So, you don't want a niece or nephew to spoil?" Chaeyoung looked up at that, raising her eyebrows at what you said. "Does it look like I have the money to spoil a child, Y/n? I don't even have the money to spoil myself, let alone a child." She dramatically let out. "Ahh, you're being dramatic." You breathed out.

"I am not." She firmly stated, trying to keep up the act, both of you knew that it was all just jokes. Liking to act a bit dramatic whenever it was possible. "You are." You insisted and Chaeyoung scoffed, shaking her head. "Let's see who will be dramatic once Jennie gets pregnant." You chuckled at that and bit your lower lip. Somehow she always made you laugh with the simplest things, it was as if nothing else existed when you two were together. It was like floating in the air with no burden on your shoulders and you hoped that she felt the same way when she was with you. "She's not getting pregnant, not yet at least and when she does, you are going to be the godmother of our child." You stated as no matter what, Chaeyoung was always going to be part of your life and if she would refuse you would simply force her. Although there was no way she would ever refuse.

"You think I would be a good Godmother?" She questioned unsurely and you looked at her, cocking your head and quirking your eyebrows. "You'd be a great godmother and I wouldn't even consider anyone else." You stated with a firm nod and watched the smile on her face as she sighed, shaking her head slightly. You always made her feel so good about herself. The both of you placed the things on the band and suddenly Chaeyoung spoke up with confusion. "What do you mean not yet?" She asked and stopped in her tracks, only now realizing what you said. Looking at you, she instantly recognized that smile on your face that only meant one thing, it was something important and precious to you. That was the smile you had on your face whenever you were around her or Jennie- other friends too but it stood out around the two or when you talked about them.

"Can you keep a secret?" You already knew the answer as she kept every secret you told her between you two. Chaeyoung was the person you trusted the most, more than your own family, but on the second hand, she was basically your family. You two were like siblings, knowing each other for more than half of your lives. It felt good to be around someone who you knew, knew you better than you knew yourself, knowing that you could always listen to her and trust her and her advice. "Of course, I can. I know your deepest darkest secrets and never said anything to anyone." She said with a proud grin, it always made her feel more important when she knew that you trusted her so much. You took a step closer to her and lowered your tone slightly even if it wasn't needed since you didn't know anyone here, but it made the moment that much more climatic.

"I want to propose after graduation." You whispered in her ear and it went quiet for a second, nervously watching her as her lips parted and her eyes widened slightly. "What!?" She squeaked out in pure surprise, seeming like she was in bliss. "Yes, I want to propose after graduation and then we could live together while in college and all that stuff." You explained and smiled when Chaeyoung jumped in for a hug, her arms wrapping around your arms, giving you a bone-crushing hug that you tried to return the best you could with your arms restrained. "Oh my god, you should totally do it." She squealed out and looked up at you with her eyes glimmering slightly. Relief washed over you fully as she was the first person you told this to, like always being the one you told things first too. You knew that you and Jennie were only 18, but you two were already planning a future together- of course you included Chaeyoung in everything which Jennie was ok with seeing how there would never be a possibility to separate you and your best friend. She admired it.

"I am surprised that you are agreeing." You breathed out and she pulled away with her head tilting as you reached up to her face and patted away the few tears that rolled down. She was always your emotional little Chaeyoungie. "Why?" She asked and grabbed your hand that was on her cheek, holding it and you shrugged. "This is the first girlfriend of mine that you actually like...And you know how much I value your opinion." You said as you had a few girlfriends before and Chaeyoung was not fond of any of them although she seemed to love Jennie. "Jennie is great, both to you and to me...she doesn't have a problem with me being your best friend unlike the rest and she's just a keeper." She casually replied and you smiled, walking up to the clerk that was scanning your items. It was the truth, none of your exes was good enough for you in Chaeyoung's opinion and none of them really liked how close you two were either. Even if it was always platonic love since your friendship wasn't just a simple friendship, it was much more than that.

"She really is." You agreed and your smile made Chaeyoung smile this time, seeing how in love you were with that girl. Just like Jennie admired your and Chaeyoung's friendship, Chaeyoung admired your and Jennie's relationship. She knew that she was the right one in more than one way. "Mhm, although never forget about me." She hummed out and walked away when you had to pay, not being able to say much more. You quickly paid and thanked the clerk before, walking up to Chaeyoung since you knew that you could never forget about her. "I could never forget about you. You are moving in with me and Jennie when we take off to college." You watched as she just shook her head at what you said, helping you put everything in the plastic bag. "I don't know about that. Think I will rather be alone than share an apartment with you and Jennie." She only replied.

-

Somehow your and Chaeyoung's feet had their own will and walked you over all the way to the beach where you two would always sit together and just talk, sitting on the big rock where you had carved your names next to each other a few years ago. The cool breeze softly blew the salty air your and her way, the sun slowly setting but still keeping the breeze cool just cool and not freezing. You leaned back, holding yourself up with your palms as you looked over the ocean that seemed to not have an end, listening to the seagulls in the distance and the waves crashing with the rocks beneath you two.

"Could you promise me something?" Chaeyoung broke the temporary silence and you turned your head to look at her. Her gaze held some sort of longing as she looked over the horizon in front of you guys. The wind blew through her perfect hair, her eyes squinting just the slightest as the wind hit them. Her brown eyes glimmered from the orange sunset that hit them just like the water was glimmering below you two. You hummed and watched as her jaw clenched for a split second before she loosened up again and looked down at her feet with a sigh. It always ended the same with you two sitting and making promises to each other, some people would probably find a few of them meaningless but to you two they were worth more than gold.

"Promise me that you will propose to Jennie after graduation and keep her for the rest of your life...I know that you said that you will, but I really don't want you to change your mind, I want you to proceed with the future with Jennie there. We're only 18 and things can just change in the span of one night or even a second, but I don't want that to change...It would mean a lot to me if you would be able to promise me that even if it is quite big of a promise to keep." You almost managed to miss half of her soft-spoken words that disappeared with the waves as they left her lips, but you still heard every word of her. "And while you're at it, I want you to promise me that you will never forget me Y/n." Chaeyoung added and you watched as she moved her feet around a little, waiting for you to say something.

You tilted your head and smiled a little, extending your hand to her, making Chaeyoung look at you in the end. Holding out your pinky for her, a pinky promise made between you two was never allowed to be broken and this was a promise you would never break once the deal would be sealed. A smile grew on her face and she hooked her pinky with yours as you two just looked at each other in silence. "I promise you that I will propose to Jennie and keep her for the rest of my life and I will never ever forget about you Chaeyoung...I don't know how you could even think of that, but I will never forget about you because just like I am going to keep Jennie with me for the rest of my life, I am going to keep you too." You promised before you two touched thumbs, sealing the promise forever.

"Thank you." Chaeyoung breathed out in relief and unhooked her pinky with yours before wrapping her arms around your shoulders, hugging you tight with her face buried in your neck. You wrapped your arms around her waist, getting embraced in each other's warmth and no other hugs compared to the ones you shared. "I just want you to be happy." She mumbled and pulled you closer to her, resting your chin on her shoulder, feeling her hands clutch on your hoodie as if you would disappear any second now. "I want the same for you." You replied as you only wanted to see her happy and content, both of you wanted the best for each other. She only hummed, sighing into your neck as you both stayed in each other's arms.

"I really love you, Y/n." You smiled at her words and sighed when you heard her sniffle before feeling a few tears hit your skin. "I love you just as much...don't cry because I will start crying too." You said, feeling your voice quivering as you spoke because her tears were just as contagious as her smile was. It always ended with both of you crying if the other one would cry. "It's just that...you're the best thing that has ever happened in my life Y/n and I wouldn't change it or have it any other way. There's not much to my life without you, it's not as interesting when it's just me." This time you could feel the prickling in your nose, the tears brimming your eyes as a sob left her lips, her hot breaths fanning your skin.

"I wouldn't have it any other way either, but your life is much more than just me and you know it...There's just one of you, you're Park Chaeyoung and that's what defines you, not me." You said since you two maybe fulfilled each other's days, but if she wouldn't be Park Chaeyoung then it wouldn't be the same. The way she was defined her and not you. "I am me and you're you...that's what makes it special." You whispered and blinked away your tears. "You're special to me." She mumbled and you slowly pulled away, quickly wiping your eyes before looking at her, holding onto her shoulders. You wiped her cheeks with your sleeves before the wind could do it for you. Leaning over and leaving a peck on her forehead. "You're special to me too, Chaeyoung." You said back and removed the hair that the wind blew in her face, looking into her brown shimmering eyes and she smiled through her tears, giving you the eye smile that you loved so much.

-

You held Chaeyoung's hand, holding it inside your pocket to try and warm her as much as possible as it was starting to get cold now, waiting for her bus. "You sure that you don't want me to take the bus with you?" You asked to make sure since you offered to take the bus to walk her home, but she shook her head no. "Yeah, I like taking it alone...it gives me time to just think." She said and looked at you with a smile, you nodded knowing that she enjoyed riding the bus alone to just get lost in her thoughts. "Say hi to Jennie from me." Chaeyoung reminded you. "I will. You've been hanging out with everyone lately, haven't you?" You put it out there since she was with Jennie yesterday and the other days she hung out with Jisoo and another with Jungkook and so on aside from hanging out with you almost every day, but you two often were together.

"I've just missed everyone lately although today was memorable with you as usual." You gave her hand a squeeze, everything with her was memorable and fun. That was the thing with Chaeyoung, she wasn't just a great best friend to you, but she was truly a great friend to everyone. "It always is." Chaeyoung slithered her hand out of your grip and hugged around your waist again, making you hug around her shoulders, resting your cheek at the top of her head. Taking in her smell, those smells from one's childhood that always brought back nostalgia. Chaeyoung's smell was just that, she brought you so much nostalgia, comfort and memories, she made you feel safe with just her smell because it was so familiar, it made your inner child feel safe because that's what you had always been ever since you two met. Safe, comfortable, and content and it was just perfect.

"You're the bestest friend anyone could ask for Y/n." You chuckled at her words. "Just like you, you're the bestest of the best." Chaeyoung giggled at your words and you kissed the top of her head, taking in her smell before you two pulled away when you heard the bus approach. "Text me when you get home, alright?" You said as you held her shoulders, the girl nodded with her smile still there and you gave her a big smile too. "I will...I love you Y/n." You chuckled when she gave you a peck on your cheek and walked her to the front door of the green bus as it opened. "Be safe...I love you." You said and let go of her hand as she stepped onto the bus without another word, waving at you as the doors closed. Standing and watching her take a seat, waving at each other before the bus took off, not leaving your spot until the bus disappeared out of your sight.

-

"Could you hand me my wallet? It's in my pants." You asked Jennie as you laid in her bed in your boxers. She hummed as she finished up by her vanity table, turning off the lights on the mirror before she got up from the chair. Laying sprawled out on her bed under the covers as you watched her walk over to the armchair where your pants were laying with the rest of your clothes. Your girlfriend was already in her pj's as it was around 1 am and you got here at around 10 pm. Jennie reached into your pocket and took out your wallet before she scurried over to the bed, making you chuckle, lifting the covers for her seeing that she was in such a hurry since she was cold. The girl quickly cuddled into you, putting her head on your shoulder as you wrapped your arm around her waist.

"Here you go, baby." Her hand came up from under the duvet, holding the wallet out for you. You pecked her lips as a thank you and Jennie watched you open your wallet, making her move slightly so you could use the hand around her waist a bit better. You took out the photo strip since you didn't want it to get ruined in your wallet and Jennie guided your hand so she could look better at the photos. "Told you that she bit me." You said since she didn't believe you earlier, watching Jennie smile, yet another one of your favourite smiles. "You probably deserved it though, I know how you can be so I don't blame her." She simply stated, knowing you very well too. "Aren't you quick to pick sides?" You only received an eye-roll from Jennie at that as she was still looking at the photos.

"These are cute though, just don't ruin them by accident." Jennie said and looked over the photos one last time before letting go of your hand. You hummed and put your wallet on the bedside table by your phone before placing the photo strip by your things too. "That's exactly what she said too." You said, remembering how Chaeyoung told you how some things are fragile, seemingly she wasn't the only one that knew how careless you could be but Jennie knew that too. "Well, some things are fragile." It almost felt as if it was Chaeyoung speaking as she just said the same thing as her. You sighed and turned your body to lay on your side, meeting Jennie's eyes.

Chuckling as Jennie's hands tried to squeeze themselves under you for more warmth as her body was still a bit cold. "Is it that cold?" You questioned and Jennie pouted before nodding her head. You pecked her lips, trying to pull away but she chased right after you, making you lean back in, giving her a lingering kiss instead. You pulled away and Jennie groaned when you moved to lay on top of her. "Is this warm enough, baby?" You asked, trying your best to just warm up your girlfriend since she seemed to be freezing cold by shoving her hands under your body to warm them up. "You're crushing me." Jennie whined out, but it quickly turned into giggles as she squirmed under you trying to get you off her.

You wrapped your arms around her waist and with a huff turned over, taking Jennie with you who squeaked in surprise. "Y/n, my parents are asleep." Jennie warned not wanting to wake her parents up, acting like you were the one to let out that squeak. "I am positive that the squeak did not leave my mouth but yours princess." You said as her voice was lighter than yours and this time you tried to squirm away from Jennie when she poked your sides, making you squeak this time. You laughed as she continued to tickle your sides, her shorter frame basically glued on top of you as you couldn't seem to push her off you. "I am going to scream if you don't stop." You laughed out not knowing what else to say as she wouldn't stop tickling you, slowly getting out of breath.

You got stopped from making any type of sound when Jennie quickly kissed you when you were about to scream. Kissing back as she slowly moved her lips against yours, your breathing still heavy after her hands attacked you, making you pull away sooner than you wanted. "I love you." Jennie said right after you two pulled away, your arms wrapped around her waist, hugging her closer before lifting your head to peck her lips. Jennie sighed and placed her head right below your chin, leaving a lingering kiss on top of her head and closing your eyes. "I love you." You mumbled against the top of her head, unwrapping your one arm to pull the duvet over you two before sneaking both of your warm hands under her shirt, caressing her skin. Jennie hummed and you felt her lips leave a small kiss on your collarbone. The comfortable silence between you two engulfed you both, leaving you with a soft and warm feeling with each other.

Jennie flinched slightly on top of you, getting startled by your phone that went off, buzzing on her bedside table. You looked towards your phone, Jennie pushing herself up slightly and reaching for it, a small frown appeared and she looked confused. "It's Alice...you should probably answer, it might be important." Jennie said and handed the phone to you, both of you confused about why Chaeyoung's sister would be calling you at around 1:30 am. Taking the phone, you answered and Jennie watched you do so.

You didn't even manage to ask her anything before feeling regret at picking up this phone call because this phone call was going to be the cause of many sleepless nights. You unwrapped your arm from around Jennie, sitting up on the bed and your girlfriend felt nothing but worry as she sat beside you, watching all the different emotions go through your eyes before they held nothing else but tears. You could feel your whole body and brain just shut down at what you got to hear, clenching the phone in your hold so you wouldn't drop it as you felt the energy get drained from you. A sob left your mouth as Alice finished explaining what happened to you and you only hung up on the crying girl.

"Y/n...what happened-." You cut Jennie off as you broke down in tears, getting pulled into your girlfriend's arms. "Chaeyoung- she- she's...Jennie, she's-." You couldn't form a sentence as you choked on your sobs, gripping onto Jennie's shirt. Jennie had seen you break down and cry before, but this time it was different, your cries held pure pain, and suffering and she felt her own eyes tear up, trying to hold you as close as possible as you cried on her chest. You felt your heart clench so hard that it broke to pieces and the air just got heavy around you and you knew that it would never be light again. "She's gone...Chaeyoung- she's- she...killed herself." You forced the words out of yourself as you didn't dare to accept them let alone to have to say them out loud was torturous.

Suddenly your whole life turned around in the span of a second.

Or maybe this wasn't where she was supposed to be at all and she actually was where she was supposed to be. Maybe Chaeyoung was right where she was supposed to be. That was the thing with Chaeyoung no one ever knew what she was up to or where she could be unless that someone was you but now even you couldn't tell where exactly she was except that she was gone and no longer here. Your best friend was no longer by your side and hadn't been for the past two months.

You had spent the past two months wondering if you missed any signs, but it only turned out that Chaeyoung didn't tell you everything. She told you what you wanted to hear, what she wanted you to hear and believe. She never wanted you to know what was going on in her life because she preferred to see you smile, to see you being happy around her and not worried. That's what you tried to assume.

You continued to fiddle with the sleeve of your hoodie and blinked your eyes to stop your tears from falling in the middle of class, you couldn't tear your gaze away from her seat that was right next to your table. Even if it was the case that this wasn't where she was supposed to be, in your head, this was right where she was supposed to be. Chaeyoung was supposed to be sitting right there, she was supposed to be talking to you in a hushed tone while the teacher is busy explaining in front of the class. She was supposed to still be here, be with you, hang out with you, you two were still supposed to share secrets with each other and make promises.

That day was the last time you hugged Chaeyoung, the last time you heard her voice in person, the last time you felt her body while it was still warm, the last time you both said 'I love you' to each other. That day you heard her laugh for the last time, say your name for the last time, you two made your last promises that day, the last time you saw her smile at you. That day was the last time you created memories together with Chaeyoung. Now she was gone.

You got stopped from pulling on your sleeve when Jennie grabbed your hand in hers sensing that nothing was ok right now. Nothing had been ok ever since that phone call, but you managed to somewhat keep yourself together to attend school again, but there were still those moments where you would falter and break down against your will. Jennie excused the both of you and got you to stand up and follow her out of the classroom.

Walking out of the room, she closed the door after you two and you already had tears in your eyes. How were you supposed to cope with the death of your best friend? Of someone who you were closer to than your own family, someone you knew most of your life. Your time together with Chaeyoung was cut short, against your will but by choice for her.

Chaeyoung left you.

"We should definitely go out for ice cream after practice...it's so hot today." Chaeyoung let out, a big smile as you two walked through the hallway. The girl was in her cheer uniform as she had her practice to attend, but tried to hide from her duties for a bit since it was too hot outside to continue jumping around in her opinion. "Oh Chaeyoung, practice first, ice cream later." You said as you bumped into her when you were passing through the empty hallways on your way to watch their practice since yours was done. Knowing that Chaeyoung was at the wrong place as the cheer captain- standing by the vending machines in the canteen and not on the field with her team.

"It's ok, I told Jennie to take over while I handle some business." She explained and skipped in her steps, it was much cooler inside than it was outside especially now that school was over and the hallways weren't packed with students. You laughed at what she said and she looked at you, she was about to stop in her place probably wanting to drag this out to not have to go out on the field again, but you were quick to put your hand on her back so she would continue walking. "What business do you have by the vending machines, Chaeyoung?" You questioned and she sighed. "Those are questions that I do not have to answer." You hummed, nodding your head already knowing that she was there to get snacks while her team was out there in the heat.

"Last one at the field pays for ice cream!" Chaeyoung exclaimed while already running ahead of you. "Hey!" You exclaimed and took off right after her, trying your best to catch up with her as she got a head start. Your laughs echoed around the hallways of the empty school.

You took her for ice cream that day and you paid too since she was the first to reach the field.

You sniffled as you looked at the hallway that was just as empty although this time none of your waves of laughter echoed around it. "Baby...talk to me." Jennie let out, worried sick about you. She didn't leave your side for a second ever since that night, staying right by your side to comfort you and just be there for you, she could only imagine how difficult it was for you and yes she herself had been grieving but the bond between you and Chaeyoung was just different- it was a loss for everyone who knew the girl though. One of the reasons why she really didn't want to leave your side was because she was scared that she would lose you too. Either lose you in all your sorrow or the same way they all lost Chaeyoung.

"How is everyone just moving on?" You croaked out, the tears in your throat suppressing your voice as the lump was there. There was no point in trying to hold back much more as a sob left your mouth. The shorter girl pulled you aside and away from the door, stopping by the lockers, holding onto your hand as her other reached up to your face, wiping away your tears. "Everyone is acting as if nothing happened." You cried and slumped your back against the lockers behind you, looking at your hands that continued to fiddle with the material of your hoodie.

It felt like you were the only one left that was still crying every night about Chaeyoung or waking up in the middle of it because you had such vivid dreams about Chaeyoung still being alive that you woke up happy only to break down within a second. Everywhere you looked, everyone had moved on with their lives while you were stuck in the past, still refusing to accept the fact that she was gone. "Everyone is just coping differently." Jennie tried, she maybe wasn't going through it as bad anymore but that was because acceptance came easier for her than you in this situation and she didn't blame you. No one would truly ever just move on from this.

"And for some, that means acting as if nothing happened and I know that it hurts to see people act like that, but it's different for everyone, Y/n." There was nothing you could do about this. First of all, you couldn't bring your best friend back- she wouldn't want to come back because she left by choice. Second of all, not everyone grieved the same way, but you hated to see how everyone just went on with their lives, went on with them without Chaeyoung there. How do you go on with your life when the person you planned your life with wasn't there anymore? You hated it.

Your eyes met Jennie's at last and you hated yourself for worrying her so much, you could see how worried she was every day and how she refused to leave you for even a second. Following you like a puppy because she loved you so much while you were too busy drowning in the sorrow Chaeyoung left you to even try and show how much you loved her too. "I'm sorry." You apologized and grabbed her hand that was on your cheek, taking it and leaving a kiss on her fingers. "You don't have to be sorry for anything Y/n. I am here to be through it all with you and it doesn't matter how long it takes...Just don't close yourself off from me." You only broke down more, Jennie pulling you down and hugging around your shoulders as you buried your face in her shoulder.

"I lost my best friend Jennie." Your voice cracked with each word as you were still trying to figure out why she left you. Why were you, the one to lose your best friend? No one should lose one, whether it is by death or another type of separation that isn't death. It felt like you lost a part of yourself together with her. "I know, I know." Jennie whispered in your ear, giving the side of your head a peck as she gently scratched your scalp in a try to comfort you so you would know that she was right there for you. She was there to hold the part of you, you thought you lost for when you would want it back.

You looked up at the sound of things rustling, Jennie holding onto your shoulders, her head turning to look where you were looking when she saw a frown covering your eyebrows. You were no longer in her arms as you walked towards the janitor, wiping away your tears while sniffling. "What're you doing?" You asked him pissed as he was by Chaeyoung's locker, your fists clenching in nothing but anger as he threw another teddy bear into the cleaning trolly. "Cleaning...it's the principal's request." The older man said, about to reach down for another one of the things by her locker that students at school had put there to honour her memory. Everything from notes, plushies, flowers and much more.

You were quick to grab him by the back of his shirt, preventing him from doing so, not caring about the consequences. "I don't give a fuck about what he wants...leave her locker alone." You gritted out, doing your best to not let your voice break like the rest of your body was, every piece of you cracking like thin ice. Pushing him away, making the man stumble back a step or two. "Y/n, calm down." Jennie quickly interfered not wanting you to get expelled on top of everything. You huffed as she gave you a look and you turned around, looking at Chaeyoung's locker that hadn't been used by her for two months now while Jennie tried her best to excuse your behaviour, succeeding as the janitor walked away with the trolly.

She turned around to you with worry when she heard one of the lockers rumble, punching the locker that was next to Chaeyoung's. You ignored the pain that spread through your whole hand, landing another one before landing more punches to it. You were so angry with the world. Who else could've done her wrong if not for the world and the people in it? Did you possibly wrong her too? You couldn't recollect, but maybe you did her wrong somehow. The anger and hatred you felt numbed the pain in your knuckles and maybe if you hurt yourself physically then just maybe, the emotional pain would disappear...even if it would be for just a second. You would be numb for just a second and that would be enough of an escape from all the emotional pain in you.

Jennie almost flew together with your fist into the locker when she grabbed onto your arm to stop you- succeeding without getting hurt in the process. "Stop hurting yourself." She basically cried out as this time her tears fell too, not being able to hold it together. It was hard for her to keep it together when you would cry and break down, but seeing you hurt yourself because of it was just the last straw for her to break down too. "Stop." She mumbled, her grip on your arm tightening. You swallowed, your throat hurting as you just wanted to scream from the pain that was growing inside you. All those screams came from the top of your lungs only to not pass your throat and instead just gather there and create a lump that was hurting. "They can't just get rid of her things...this was Chaeyoung's." You pushed the words through the screams that clogged up your throat because words were the only things that could leave your mouth.

Jennie ran her hands down your arm to your hand, unclenching your fist, your hand trembling from the blunt force trauma caused by the impact at which you threw those punches against the locker. Your knuckles were red already with the few places where your skin split open the slightest, blood oozing from those spots- it wasn't deep and it wasn't bleeding a lot, but it was enough to make Jennie more worried. "You have to let her go at some point." Jennie stated, knowing that it would only get worse if you wouldn't try and accept things as they were even if it was difficult. She didn't want to see you lose yourself this way, she didn't want to lose you.

Her grip on your hand stayed when you tried to pull away, so, you instead turned around and leaned against the locker, sliding down to the floor with Jennie crouching down in front of you. Her gaze stayed on your trembling fingers and she knew it was hurting- both the injury you caused yourself and everything else. "I don't." It came out as a whisper, the salty tears running down your cheeks. They were salty enough to hurt if they came in contact with a cut. They were so harsh that they hurt your eyes. "You have to, she won't be able to rest otherwise, not if you keep on acting like this." She tried to make you understand, wiping her tears with her free hand before her thumb ghosted over your bruised knuckle. Acting so negatively wasn't letting your best friend rest, holding her back because you were worrying her and you knew that in the back of your head, but you ignored that part of your head.

"Why would she get to rest? I haven't been able to rest for months because of her choice and I am just supposed to let her rest? She doesn't let me rest either." You argued, hoping that Chaeyoung was listening to you right now so she could hear how tired you were too now. It was all exhausting and every night you spent awake you spent it crying or wondering why she left you. She didn't even say anything, leave anything...no, she definitely left you a lot of things, one of them being the confusion about why she even left. She seemed so happy. Or you just didn't know your best friend, as well as you thought that you did. Would she still be here if you did anything differently? What if she would have stayed if you just simply had walked her home that day? Would something like that be enough to make her stay?

"Y/n...she left us because she was tired and now you're preventing her from getting that rest." You took in a shaky breath and closed your eyes, the only thing you could see every time you closed them was Chaeyoung and you hated it because she would always be smiling at you. Every time the sun was shining and warming you, you could feel Chaeyoung's embrace. You could still remember perfectly how it felt to hug her and to be hugged by her, crumbling apart every time as you were scared that you would one day forget how it all felt. You didn't want to forget any of those things. You didn't want to forget her. You wouldn't forget her.

"I am tired too yet I am staying." Jennie bit her lower lip and you opened your eyes. The only thing you could do now was to imagine Chaeyoung still being here, imagine all her laughs, smiles, cries, hugs and all the other things. Her smaller hand came up to your face, trying to wipe away your tears as her sleeves and skin have been soaking them up like grass soaking up water when it rains for two months now. It was a storm, but she wasn't going to leave and seek shelter, she was there to stand with you in the middle of it and let her whole body soak up every drop of water- every tear. "That's different, baby." Jennie said, she knew that you were hurting and that it all felt useless for you right now, but you were grieving the death of your best friend and would hopefully come to terms with what happened. Chaeyoung's story was different from what all of you guys knew. Different enough for her to not be able to stay.

You shook your head, not wanting to see it as different though. You wanted to believe that Chaeyoung had every reason to stay just like you. She made you look at her and you only now saw that your actions from a few minutes ago must've scared and hurt her. She was worried and she was here for you, but you couldn't help but yearn for someone who no longer could be here for you. "You have to understand that she just wants to rest now, but you're not letting her. You're tiring her out when she's about to reach the peace she left us for...You have to let her go and remember her for who she was and not for the pain she left. I don't think Chaeyoung would like seeing you like this...I think you would make her feel guilty and sorry for something that was her choice." You glanced beside you at all the things lying in front of your best friend's locker.

"I just want to know why...Nothing is clear to me, it just doesn't make any sense to me." How could you accept anything when you didn't know why she left you? You ran everything through your head, but there was nothing that answered the why's. You held back a groan at the pain that went through your hand, but Jennie clearly saw the pain on your face. Jennie took your injured hand, holding it with both of her hands as she looked at it with a pout. "Please don't hurt yourself again- I- it's too much for me to look at and it hurts me too...I love you too much to be able to see in more pain." She said as you two were always honest with each other. Jennie was always so honest with you and it instantly let you be honest with her too, trusting each other with your words.

You ignored the pain in your hand for the moment, a small yelp leaving Jennie when you pulled her to you, hugging the girl close as she was on her knees on the floor with you, hugging around your nape. "I won't, I'm sorry...you know that I never would hurt you on purpose or do anything to hurt you. I love you way too much to cause you pain, Jennie." You apologized, it was something you had been doing a lot lately, feeling like you wronged everyone ever since Chaeyoung left. Although Jennie reassured you every time that it was fine and you didn't have to apologise for grieving. "It's ok...I'm gonna make sure that you get through this without any more bruises." Jennie stated as she was determined to get you through this, pulling away as she cupped your face, still holding onto her waist. She leaned forward and left a peck on your quivering lips.

"It's fucking horrible isn't it?" You asked Chaeyoung and watched as her features turned into a slight cringe and you groaned, letting your forehead meet the table as you rested your head against it. You were supposed to write an assignment for one of your classes but you were struggling. Asking Chaeyoung to check it out knowing that she would be honest with you and always tell you the truth. A quality you two had that not everyone would agree is completely good was honesty, no matter how frustrating the truth could be. "I can just help you with this because this isn't the best Y/n." Chaeyoung truthfully told you and she was always willing to help you with whatever it was that you needed help with. Whether it would be school work to something more personal. She was always there and never left.

You looked up at her in hope. "Could you?" You asked to make sure since you didn't want to bother her in case she had her own things to work on. Chaeyoung gave you a smile and nodded her head. The blonde looked behind you and suddenly you felt a pair of hands on your shoulders, making you tilt your head back to be met by Jennie who with a tilted head looked down at you."Don't you have math?" You questioned your girlfriend as you knew that she had class right now. She glanced over at Chaeyoung before looking back at you. "It's fine...I already know everything." This made you look over at Chaeyoung who avoided your gaze already knowing that your best friend was the one who informed Jennie about you two being in the library because if she wouldn't know she wouldn't have left class.

"You two need to stop with this skipping classes and practice." You said because not long ago you were walking Chaeyoung back to practice and now Jennie was skipping too. It wasn't the first time and you were always the one walking them back to class. Jennie walked around you and smoothly made herself comfortable in your lap. "You're so cute, trying to act like the oldest one here." Jennie teased and pecked your cheek, Chaeyoung laughing at how you tried to fight the bashful smile that was fighting to appear on your lips. "Is that the assignment you have been working on?" Jennie questioned as she looked at the paper that was laying in front of Chaeyoung. The girl slid it over to Jennie as you hummed. "It's really bad." Chaeyoung commented when Jennie picked it up, the girl in your lap caressing your hand as she was already reading the paper.

Jennie sighed and put the paper down once she was done. "It isn't the best, no." Jennie honestly told you and gave you a sorry look. You rested your forehead against her shoulder. "I know...Chaeyoung will help me with it." You mumbled, the two girls sharing the same quality, honesty and always being willing to help you with anything that you needed. You weren't sure where your head would be without them.

You knew that it would have been over for you if Jennie wouldn't be right here after Chaeyoung passed. You always needed at least one of them and without Chaeyoung here anymore, Jennie was the only person who was holding onto the part of you that had detached from your body. If she wouldn't be here, that part of you would be gone together with you because if Chaeyoung wasn't here you had no reason to stay except for Jennie. She was the only reason why you were still here.

You slowed down in your steps as you watched the green bus pass by you two, feeling the air in your lungs get too thick to leave you. The air clogged up your throat together with those screams as you watched the bus continue its usual route without Chaeyoung aboard it. Time really didn't stop for even a second when someone left this world, everything and everyone just continued on with their lives. There was no stop so you could at least process anything in your head.

Jennie stopped in her tracks together with you, feeling how your grip on her hand tightened just the slightest, seeing how your jaw moved in anxiousness. What was it to you if the world continued to rotate? You didn't have to continue together with it...you could just stay right where you were, couldn't you? You knew the answer to that. "There's really nothing that I can do, can I?" You asked and looked at Jennie, she sighed and shook her head. "No, not really." She confirmed, you take a deep breath almost gasping for air as it was difficult to inhale at this point. You were so desperate for the air to get thinner so it would get easier to breathe again, but that just didn't happen.

"I want to...see her." Jennie's lips parted at your words. "Are you sure?" She asked you to make sure that you wanted this. She knew that you would go at some point, but she didn't want you to force yourself because it was difficult for you to say the least. "I'm sure."

-

Jennie could feel how each of your steps got heavier and more hesitant the closer you two got. The air was even thicker here and it crushed your insides because of how heavy it was. "Do you want me to wait here or come with you?" Jennie asked as you two stopped, your eyes already looking towards Chaeyoung's direction. The girl had already been here a few times when she had time while you hadn't, thinking that maybe you needed to be alone for this. "You will be right here, right?" You asked her to make sure since you were scared of just getting left alone by the only person you had left that was keeping you here. Chaeyoung left you with fear. "Of course...I will sit right here on this bench and won't move an inch." Jennie reassured you, her thumb gently rubbing your knuckles on the hand that wasn't injured.

"Just take your time." She gave your hand a light squeeze before letting go as you nodded, taking those heavy steps towards your best friend's grave. Your feet felt heavier and the soil under your feet felt like quicksand, pulling you down further the closer you got. It had been two months and it looked like people were still regularly coming here as there were fresh flowers and grave candles on her grave.

You came to a stop as you were right in front of the place where your best friend was resting. You hadn't visited Chaeyoung ever since they lowered her into the cold ground. Your hand gripped harder around the flowers you were holding in your hand, your jaw clenching but it all was for nothing as the pain slipped right past your lips. The keen cries left your mouth as you crouched down right in front of her grave, closing your eyes tightly as you kept on wiping away at your eyes. The tears seeped through your closed eyes as you slumped down, sitting on the grass, pulling your knees to your chest, clutching hard onto the roses in your hand as you buried you face in your forearm that was resting on top of your knees.

"Why Chaeyoung? Why?" You cried out with your creaking voice that has had enough of your repeated cries after your best friend. Looking up at her grave stone, your eyes landing on the small picture of her that was on the headstone right by her name. "I've been crying after you every day and night, only to get no reply from you." You said and bit your lower lip to stop your sobs. You knew that you would spend your time here and wait for a reply just like you have been waiting for one every day since she left. Only to not get one. "I am so angry with myself and I wish I would be able to be angry with you and not me, but you know very well that I have never been able to stay angry with you for even a second...You knew that all along." You somehow managed to talk to her, waiting for some sort of relief, but all you felt was sorrow and pain.

"I still dream about you Chaeyoung! You're still alive in my head. Yet here I am talking to your grave." You gritted out through your tears and sobs, feeling like a fool because of what she did. These day-long laments were exhausting and you could feel how you barely were able to continue crying as just whimpers of pain left your mouth. "Did you think that talking to your grave would be enough for me? That you could just leave me because I would get through everything by talking to your grave? That I wouldn't want to hear your voice? It sounds selfish but what else can I be when you left without any reason? You could've at least left me a damn note, Chaeyoung." You moved the flowers to look at them, the cuts on your knuckles covered by the band-aids Jennie had put on them.

You placed them by your feet and sighed. "You made me make all these promises that I now have to keep...Who's going to keep your promises Chaeyoung?" You asked her, wondering who would keep all these promises she made you. You were going to keep yours because you would never be able to break a promise you made. A groan escaped your mouth and you blinked your eyes, the tears falling right after. "You never really meant it when you promised to stay with me forever...You knew that you weren't going to stay for long. You knew and you left me, you left me without a single word about it. Didn't you trust me? Wasn't I enough of a reason to stay?...What made you even so sure that you could just leave, how were you sure that I wouldn't just follow right after you?" You were so tired, it felt like you would throw your heart up any second now.

Were you just supposed to come here every day now and wait for an answer? Was Chaeyoung ever going to answer you? Did she even see you right now? She had left you without a word. You always knew where Chaeyoung was since she always told you and talked to you. Now you couldn't even try and say where she could be as you had no clue because she never told you or talked to you about this. "I just...miss you." It always ended like this, with you wailing, bawling your tired eyes out like a baby to your best friend. "This is the- the longest I have ever been without you ever since we met." You weren't sure how much longer you would be able to be without Chaeyoung. "You should've told me...I would wait for you if you had told me what was wrong. I would be here and wait for you...I am waiting for you." All you could do was wait for something that wouldn't happen now.

"Come on, Y/n, it's only for two days and I will be back." Chaeyoung laughed out and pushed you away when you were about to cling to her again. "No, don't leave me." You begged, probably being too dramatic since the girl was only going away for the weekend to another city to celebrate her cousin's birthday with her family. "You know that I don't want to leave you either, but I believe that we will be able to survive two days without seeing each other- two hard days, but we will manage." Chaeyoung said and chuckled, but it sounded painful as she herself had tears in her eyes now. You let out a whine and hugged her tight, not wanting your best friend to leave for those two days. "I can come with you." You breathed out and she shook her head, rubbing your back.

"We need to start practising being away from each other for at least short periods and you can't leave Jennie." Chaeyoung reminded you about your girlfriend and she also knew that you two should be able to be away from each other for at least two days. It would be difficult since you guys had been glued together ever since you met. "I know, that's why I will take her with us." You mumbled since you and Jennie had the same problem as you and Chaeyoung of not being able to be away from each other. You assumed that once you loved someone you no longer could be separated from them for long. You couldn't be separated from Chaeyoung or Jennie as you loved them both too much for that.

"No Y/n, you're staying right here with Jennie and I will see you in two days." Chaeyoung firmly stated and pulled away looking at you, trying her best to not just give in and take you two with her. "Yes, I will tell her right now...she should be here somewhere." You said, looking around the hallway for Jennie, spotting your girlfriend already walking towards you and Chaeyoung. You waved her over to you two and she skipped in her steps. "Hey you two...Why are you guys in tears?" Jennie asked confused once she reached you two and saw that you both were on the verge of tears. "Doesn't matter why anymore because we are going away with Chaeyoung for the weekend." You stated and Jennie lit up at that looking at the blonde girl with a smile who only groaned in return.

"No, no one is going with me, you two are staying. It's just two days." Chaeyoung said and turned away from you and Jennie, opening her locker to avoid the looks on your faces knowing that she would just give in if she did. "Two days will be like an eternity for you two." Jennie commented and leaned against the locker beside Chaeyoung's to look at the girl, well aware of the fact that you and Chaeyoung would be shaking in longing after each other. Jennie herself hated being away from you so she completely understood it. Once you get so used to someone's presence, you aren't yourself anymore if they leave for a few seconds too long. You hummed agreeing with Jennie as you leaned against the locker behind her, both of you just waiting for the blonde to just agree.

"You- no, stop pestering me about it...You can like distract her by you know." Chaeyoung commented almost giving in before she slammed her locker closed looking at you two like you were parasites. Jennie shyly giggled at that and had to turn away from the blonde, burying her face in your shirt being way too shy to talk about what Chaeyoung was referring to. You rubbed her back and looked at Chaeyoung who shook her head, still doing her best not agreeing. "Please?" You begged with a small pout and Chaeyoung groaned at that.

That day she agreed for you and Jennie to come, knowing damn well that it would be hell on earth for you two if she had just left you even if it was for two days. "What are we going to do without you Chaeyoung? It feels wrong to just keep on living life without you here. You knew damn well what hell it would be for me to be without you." You spoke as you calmed down, wiping away the tears from your cheeks although they were still falling from your eyes. The way life went on even after death was something you couldn't grasp. What made everything so much harder was that you didn't know who to blame for this. You ended up being angry at the world and being angry with yourself.

"I failed you as a best friend...I failed you, didn't I?" You asked and looked at the picture of Chaeyoung on the headstone, looking at her with your tears falling harder as she had a smile on her face like always. It hurt so badly especially when you were sitting here, knowing that you failed your best friend. You failed someone so precious to you. "What if fail everyone else too? What if Jennie leaves me too? What if everyone just ends up leaving me Chaeyoung?" You worriedly asked your best friend, she always had answers for you. You always came to her for advice and help, knowing that she would be honest with you. The frustration you felt inside was indescribable when you got no answer from your best friend.

You were so lost without her. Chaeyoung was stuck in your head like a melody that you just can't forget and never will forget, she was stuck on repeat even in the worst moments making everything so difficult. You couldn't focus on anything else but the melody that Chaeyoung was. Would it even matter if everyone else just left you? You sighed and pulled your knees closer to your chest, hugging them as you buried your face in them. "Was there anything that I could have done differently to make you stay?" You tiredly asked, crying into your knees, your body shaking as you couldn't take the pain anymore. Your heart was clenching, trying to hold on to the pieces that it was getting shredded into. Your chest hurting and your ribs were suddenly constricting your lungs from being able to breathe normally.

"Didn't I tell you enough how beautiful you are? How good you are? How you are the kindest and purest person I have ever met? How your heart isn't made of gold but platinum since gold is fucking shit and gets ruined so easily? Didn't I say how much I love you enough? That you are my Rosie?" You sniffled and pressed your eyes more into your knees to let the material of your jeans soak up the tears. "I am forever going to miss you because I will always love you." You managed to look up again, sobs leaving your mouth one after another as you looked at the place where Chaeyoung was supposedly resting now. Weren't your arms enough for her? Couldn't she just rest in your arms until she would feel better again? You were so homesick without her arms around you and it made you wonder if she felt the same right now, the only time you felt somewhat better was when Jennie would hug you.

You used your sleeves to wipe your face, moving to reach for the flowers that were by your feet. "I bought you these...You always hated when I would buy you flowers, but still would always put them on your desk in your room and they would be there until there was no single petal left on them." You said with a chuckle, sniffling as you kept on wiping the tears away with your sleeve. "I wish I had bought you flowers more often though because I know that you secretly loved it...I might start doing it now, buy you flowers every week and give them to you." You heaved a sigh and moved to get on your feet. You looked at the flowers in your grip and with a deep breath you took a step closer to her, crouching down to put them on top of her gravestone with the rest of the flowers and other things.

"I love you Chaeyoung...I love you a lot. You know that a piece of my heart will forever belong to you, that way you will always have a piece of me. I didn't even have to make the promise to never forget you because whether or not I would make that promise, I would never forget you." You explained, your fingers gently running over the polished stone that was connected to the headstone. "You know...if it gets difficult up there just know that I am still always here for you if you need someone to talk to." You reminded her that even if she wasn't here you would still always be there for her no matter how far away she would be. Your arms were always open for Chaeyoung even when her body was cold and not possible to warm up again like you always did.

"I'm sorry for not coming sooner, I just couldn't bring myself to do so. I'm so sorry for leaving you alone for so long...I promise that it won't happen again." You said and with a shaky breath pressed your thumb against the stone to seal the promise like you two always did, your tears falling and hitting the stone, splattering like raindrops that hit the ground. Although your tears had more meaning to them than the rain did. "I love you Rosie...I will be back soon so you won't feel alone." You stood up straight and looked over her grave one last time with a heavy heart. It felt difficult to leave her although you knew that nothing would happen if you left her now, always thinking about how if you hadn't left that day then nothing of this would have happened. A piece of you was in that ground with your best friend.

The cemetery was so quiet and peaceful even if people came here to sorrow, to try and bury their grief together with their lost loved ones. Because of that Jennie was in tears, hearing you talk to your best friend the whole time, your voice reaching her and she hoped that it reached Chaeyoung too. She was quick to stand up and wipe her tears when you approached her. You rubbed at your eyes as you stopped in front of her, feeling like a vulnerable mess, ignoring the pain in your right hand that was bruised. Jennie grabbed your balled-up fists and looked you in your red and tear-filled eyes.

"You're so strong. I adore you so much, Y/n...I adore the person you are." Jennie confessed her adoration for you, being the person she adored the most and somehow amidst all your sorrow you felt your heart flutter. Your hand went up to her cheeks cupping them. "Thank you for being here for me...I don't think I would be able to get this far without you Jennie. I really don't think I would be able to." You confessed as you were deeply thankful for having Jennie. She hugged your waist and rested her cheek against your torso as you hugged around her shoulders.

You were going to continue keeping Jennie warm even if you no longer were able to keep Chaeyoung warm. You weren't going to give up on Jennie, she was the only light left in your life at the moment, the only thing keeping you away from getting fully swallowed by all the darkness. She was the only one keeping you warm right now, she was the little fire that you wouldn't let burn out just like she was making sure that the little flame left in you wouldn't fully die out.

-

You were here for Jennie, you weren't sure if you would be sitting here at these bleachers if it wouldn't be for your girlfriend being part of the cheer team as the contest was taking place today. Two months ago you talked about this day with Chaeyoung and now you were sitting at the bleachers empty-handed together with your friends as your school's cheer team would be out soon. The cheer team were doing this to honour your best friend, but it was still difficult to sit here and watch. You knew how difficult it was for the girls on the team and the few guys that were on it too, they were for the first time in four years going to perform without their captain. Jennie had assured you that she was fine and to not worry about her, but you knew that she was hanging on by a thread today. That's why you were here. She would need you today just as much as you had needed her every day for the past two months.

You could feel how your heart started to beat in a heavier way, like when a steam train passes right by you and you can feel it below your feet. Hearing your heartbeat in your ears together with the familiar song. It was the song that Chaeyoung used for this contest exactly four years ago when she became the captain; it was their way to honour her, but you could only think of how you were here to support your best friend on her first big cheer contest as the captain of the team. All your memories were so vivid and you always broke inside at them. Hearing her name was enough to make you fall to pieces all over again.

"You got this in the bag Chaeyoung!" You exclaimed, trying to ease her worries slightly as she was nervous, this was her first big contest as the captain. It was a team sport, but still, a captain was still a captain and everyone was expecting her to shine. Plus the fact that she was 14 with a big audience like that made it just that much more nerve-wracking. "Do you think so?" She nervously asked as you two stood away from the team so you could have some privacy. She didn't want the rest to know how nervous she was, she only trusted you with this. "I've seen you guys practice and it was always great...I will treat you to nuggets if you guys win." You happily said and that seemed to make the girl get into her spirit, knowing that if nuggets were at stake then there was no way that she would allow anything to go wrong.

"Promise?" Chaeyoung said and held out her pinkie to you. With a smile, you hooked your pinkie with hers. "I promise and a milkshake." You promised, as you guys touched thumbs, she let out a small squeal and quickly hugged you, making you hug back. Something about having a friend that you were this close with made everything so weirdly nice. There was some sort of peace coursing through your smaller bodies and making everything else disappear. No nervousness, no fear, nothing like that was present and it felt like you were floating. "And I promise to do my best, especially as a captain." Chaeyoung exclaimed and you nodded. "You always do your best...but you should probably tell that to them." You said and gestured with your head towards her squad that looked like they were about to pass out.

They won that day and they did it three years in a row with Chaeyoung leading them, this would be her fourth regional contest and you bought her those nuggets and milkshake, it became a tradition. You took her to the small place after every contest that they won to eat nuggets.

The crowd erupted into cheers, making your ears ring as they finished. Your friends were on their feet, cheering for your school and Jennie did really great with the team. Getting on your feet, your eyes landed on Jennie, being able to see how her lower lip quivered and the tears cascaded down her cheeks, standing in Chaeyoung's spot as they were in the finishing pose; she was the girl's right hand, it was only right for her to be standing there. As they all were slowly starting to gather to get off the stage you made it through the crowd of people on the bleachers when Jennie quickly ran off the stage. Walking as fast as possible you reached the cheer squad, asking them where Jennie was; everyone on the team was comforting each other, their tears brimming their eyes and it was visible that this wasn't easy for them. They pointed towards their designated changing room as it wasn't taking place at your school and you took off towards it.

Everyone had moved on as you watched the students of your school applaud and cheer. The only ones that were still not fully over it were her friends that only tried to somewhat cheer for the team that didn't have its captain with it. Why wouldn't they have moved on? They didn't know Chaeyoung, she was just someone they passed in the hallways, she wasn't part of their lives while she was a big part of your guys' lives.

You knocked on the door and only got a sob in return so you opened the door, walking inside you closed the door after you and saw Jennie sitting with her face buried in her knees on one of the benches, her body shaking slightly as she continued to cry. God did you hate seeing her like that, you couldn't hold yourself together because whenever she would cry you would end up crying too, but you knew that you had to be strong just this once. She needed you. "Jennie...baby." You let out and the small whimper that came from her cracked another spot in your heart and you weren't sure how much more your heart would be able to take. Sitting down beside her, you wrapped an arm around her, making Jennie look up from her knees and seek comfort in your arms instead as she gripped onto your hoodie, wrapping both your arms around her body as she let you pull her into your lap.

"It's...all just now..." Jennie tried to explain through her sobs, but just ended up swallowing all her words, choking on them, and not being able to continue. She curled up into you more as she sat sideways in your lap, her knees pulled up against you. "It's sinking in now...I thought that I was ok now, but being out there without- without Chaeyoung...it just made it so hard to breathe, Y/n." Jennie cried into the crook of your neck and you felt your eyes water at her words, the mention of her name, it was all so much. "I could feel- I could feel that something was missing the whole time...and realized that it was Chaeyoung." Another whimper came from Jennie and she pulled more on your hoodie, burying her face in the material.

You both knew that the feeling of something, more like someone always missing would always be there now, but you two were never prepared for it to be that obvious. It was like losing a necessity and looking for it. Chaeyoung was someone important in your lives, it didn't matter if you knew her for 13 years or 3 like Jennie. The girl was such a big part of your lives and she suddenly wasn't here, meaning that a big part of your lives, a big part of you was just suddenly missing, simply gone and never coming back. "I feel like I disappointed her and the squad out there...there's no way that I will ever be able to lead anyone to victory, let alone lead as Chaeyoung did, Y/n." You could hear how vulnerable and insecure she felt right now, together with the pain and you could hear yourself in it all. Wondering how Jennie managed to comfort you so well at times like these.

"You have never managed to disappoint her Jennie, or the team...Chaeyoung- she-." You cursed yourself in your head as your voice cracked and you were starting to break down too. Feeling how your nose was prickling, making your tears fill your eyes in an instant because of it. "You're so strong for being able to go out there and lead the team for Chaeyoung, in her honour...She would only be proud of you, especially for being so strong." You spoke against her hair as you nuzzled your face in it, trying your best to make Jennie understand that Chaeyoung would never be disappointed in her. Your best friend always looked up to Jennie for how strong she was and she proved every day how much stronger she was than what you saw.

"She looked up to you, she saw you as a sister...someone who was always there for her and she could trust...she loved you so much that there would never be any room for disappointment, baby." You reassured her, rubbing her back gently when she got hiccups. "You weren't only her right hand on the squad, but outside of it too...she knew that you would make a great captain- that's why she chose you for that position." You pulled your face away from her and Jennie looked up from your hoodie, meeting your eyes. Her eyes filled with tears that ran down her flushed cheeks, her eyes were red and her lower lip started quivering again, the hiccups making it difficult for her to catch her breath.

You moved your one hand up to her face, using it to collect her tears, ignoring the trembling in your fingers as you looked at her. "You're so beautiful and talented...she loves you, they love you, I love you." You let out, caressing her cheek with your thumb, a lump in your throat as you felt a few tears managed to escape your eyes, but your beautiful girlfriend was quick to wipe them for you. You leaned forward and placed your lips on her forehead, leaving a lingering peck as she calmed down with every heartbeat that was slamming against her ribcage from all the emotions that were going through her mind and body. Jennie closed her eyes at your lips against her skin before she felt you rest your forehead against hers, her hand coming around your nape as she scratched gently. "I love you so much Y/n." Jennie let out a whisper and connected her lips with yours.

You were on your way to Chaeyoung's practice as usual after being done with yours, pushing the double doors open that led to the field. Your eyes landed on the cheer squad that was busy with practice- including Chaeyoung who hadn't ran away this time- so you made it to the bleachers where a few others were sitting, joining your friends. Your eyes just scanned everyone for a second, but stopped on the new face that was a part of the practice, realizing that it was the new girl that changed to this school two weeks ago. Although your gaze switched away from her and you looked to your side when you got nudged. "Who is that? I haven't seen her before on the team." Your friend Namjoon asked as he was waiting for one of his other friends that were part of the cheer team too, being a year older, 16 and you 15- a year above you- he didn't know that there was a new girl in the class below his.

"Uhm she's new in class, she started two weeks ago and I guess she got on the team." The guy hummed and nodded, you saw as he fought back a smile and you knew that he was onto you already since your voice never held a quiver when you would talk, but now it did when you talked about the new girl. You somehow managed to find yourself crushing on the girl and you haven't even told Chaeyoung yet- you were going to, but you assumed that she already figured it out because you were always so obvious and she knew you so well. "What's her name?" He asked instead and you glanced over at the field to see them slowly finishing up. "Jennie." Namjoon patted your back and stood up, giving you a wink. "Well, good luck." He said and your lips parted at that, but you didn't get to say anything as he walked down the bleachers, greeting his friend as the practice was over.

If he figured it out within a few minutes then Chaeyoung knew already for sure. You stood up from your spot and saw Chaeyoung already walking towards you. "You did great...well, from the few minutes that I saw you were great." You said and the blonde smiled big. "Great to know that I am good at stretching, Y/n." Chaeyoung said with a giggle since she saw when you came out on the field, which was when they were finishing up and stretching their limbs. You chuckled and shrugged, your eyes momentarily falling behind Chaeyoung to see the new girl- Jennie- packing up her bag while talking to a few girls. Even if your gaze moved away for a split second, Chaeyoung caught it and looked where you had looked before looking back at you.

"I think you have something to tell me...something along the lines of having a crush on the new girl." She teased you and you opened your mouth to say something but puffed out your cheeks instead before releasing your breath. You gave her a bashful nod. "Are you two friends?" You questioned and your hands found their way into your pockets so you wouldn't start fiddling with them as you tended to do that when you were nervous, fiddling with whatever came in reach like your clothes or bracelets or anything else. "Yeah, we're quite close actually...Want me to ask her if she wants to hang out with us today?" Chaeyoung suggested and saw the hope in your eyes as you looked up at her. "Could you? I'd like to get to know her but there's just no way that I will get the guts to ask her myself." You smiled when she gave you a nod before she pulled you with her towards Jennie.

Thanks to Chaeyoung you have an amazing and loving girlfriend. You've known her for three years now and been in a relationship for two, but it felt like you have known each other for so much longer. You were grateful about this every day, and you were so thankful for Chaeyoung, knowing that without her you would never be where you are right now, with Jennie who you loved and adored. Chaeyoung had given you so much and assured so that you were happy and you felt like you had failed her, not sure if you had managed to give her back enough.

It felt like the wind got knocked out of you like you were hit by a bullet train when you stepped inside Chaeyoung's room. It was cold. Why would it be warm if there was no one there to keep it warm? Her smell still lingered in the air and you clenched your jaw to stop your tears, you really didn't have the energy to cry more. You didn't want to cry much more, you came here for some sort of peace and acceptance, not to cry, but it was easier said than done. You weren't sure where to look for your peace in her room, you weren't sure if there was much peace in this room where her sister found her dead. You weren't even sure if peace with this was possible because all your life Chaeyoung was part of that peace.

Deciding to fight the force that was trying to pull you back so you wouldn't enter further, you stepped further into your best friend's room. Everything was left the same as when they found her. Her family couldn't bring themselves to move a single thing. Your breathing got heavy and everything felt so gloomy, it felt like there was a storm inside of you with dark clouds and heavy rain, the wind that blew so hard in your face that you couldn't breathe properly. You stopped by her desk, her things had started to collect dust and your fingers ran across the white wooden desk, picking up some of the dust on the way before stopping by the framed picture. You picked it up and looked down at it. It was a more recent one with you, Chaeyoung, Jennie, Lisa, Jungkook and Namjoon. The dust on the glass got wet and you quickly wiped your eyes as your tears came without a warning.

"See, I told you that this was a terrible idea." Namjoon complained and you scratched the back of your neck as you looked around the place. "Stop yelling at my baby." You stopped scratching your nape and wrapped your arm around Jennie's waist when she walked up to you. You gave Namjoon a smug look, having your girlfriend on your side. The guys tsk'd and looked around, hopelessness in his eyes. "Your so-called baby got us lost in the middle of the woods." He pointed out and you two looked back at the groaning behind the taller guy to see Jungkook who had tripped over a root that was sticking out of the ground. "You idiot." Namjoon let out and held out his hand for the guy that was on the grass. "You owe me a new pair of jeans, Y/n." Jungkook said and dusted off his pants, seeing a small green stain on his left knee.

"I don't owe you shit, you tripped yourself." You defended and he huffed at that. "And to be fair, I just wanted to be nice and show Lisa the waterfall." You continued and sighed, looking around and realising that Lisa wasn't in sight and neither was Chaeyoung. You came up with the idea of taking everyone to the waterfall that you had once discovered but you must have forgotten the way to it because you did not find it and ended up walking in the middle of the woods. The three caught up to what you were looking for and realised too that the two were missing. "Well...You lost the person you wanted to show this to." Jungkook deadpanned since you wanted to especially show this to Lisa as she was an exchange student and wasn't going to be able to see this any other time.

Suddenly you saw the blonde hair you knew so well behind a pair of bushes before her voice echoed through the whole forest, the birds that were nearby scattering to find a new and quiet place. "Hey! We found the waterfall!" Chaeyoung called out and you saw her wave you guys over as she jumped so you guys could see her more clearly from behind the bushes. "You tried." Jennie comforted and patted your back before taking your hand and dragging you to walk with the other two. "I was actually just about to take that turn and-." You got cut off by Namjoon who smacked your head when you were trying to lie your way out of it, the rest of your sentence just getting swallowed back down. "Quiet, Y/n...I rather listen to nature." He said and you rolled your eyes at that.

You smiled as the four of you made it to the other side of the bushes to see the waterfall you had been talking about. "It's really beautiful." Chaeyoung said and Lisa beside her hummed, you sent Chaeyoung a knowing look when you saw the two brushing their fingers against each other, knowing that they were tingling to hold hands with each other but were too nervous to do it. You and Jennie were the same at first. "Yeah...I need some memories of this place." Lisa happily said and showed her camera that she had hanging around her neck. "Here's a great rock Lisa...Just saying if you want a group photo." Jungkook subtly pointed with his head at the rock that would work as a tripod of a sort.

You placed back the framed picture of you guys by the waterfall. You had so many memories with Chaeyoung, but you weren't sure if they were enough. Taking in a shaky breath, you blinked away your tears and looked towards one of the walls she had in her room. Making your way to it as it hurt to walk around her room. It was as if there was poison in the air that occupied her room and you were breathing it in and slowly dying. You looked at all the polaroids on the wall, all those memories you wondered if she took with her to her grave. It all made you realise that time was the most expensive luxury in the world.

You could point at any of the photos and tell exactly what happened on that day, you remembered every day with Chaeyoung and you were so scared that you would forget them now that she wasn't here. They ranged from when you two were five to 18, then there weren't only pictures of you and her, but others too as she always cherished all her friends and family. Although your eyes had to do a double check when you looked at the folded piece of paper that was pinned to the wall in the middle of all the polaroids, your name was written on it and you frowned. Sniffling, you reached for it as it just didn't make sense for it to be there with all those polaroids. You removed the pin and pinned it back into the wall after taking the piece of paper.

The piece of paper looked like it had been ripped out of a lined journal as you unfolded it, letting your eyes scan over it. You stopped, realizing what it was and the air felt even thicker and more poisonous now. Clutching the piece of paper in your hand you turned around and walked over to Chaeyoung's bed. The lump in your throat was getting painful as you sat down in her bed and leaned against the headboard. It felt so weird to be sitting in it and you reached for the plushie, putting it in your lap as you hugged it and rested your chin on top of it. You closed your eyes, the paper still in your hand as you inhaled the smell of Chaeyoung that lingered on the plushie that you gave her when you two were seven and she had kept it all this time. Knowing that you had to face reality you looked up, your tears already staining the plushie as you with your trembling hands unfolded the paper again. Reading what it said as it wasn't just a piece of paper but a note.

I hope it didn't take you too long to get a hold of this letter that I left for you Y/n.

I first want to say that; I really hope that I don't have to be sorry or apologise for my choice. I hope no one is angry with me and if anyone is, I hope they won't stay angry for too long. I hate when people are upset or angry, smiles always suited everyone much better than scowls. Y/n, your smile always made me smile so I hope that you won't cry for too long because I rather look down at you and see you smile than be sad.

I was thinking about this for over three years now, I just couldn't leave you Y/n, not until I would help you find someone who would be able to be there for you like I always was. Finally that someone came into your life, that's why I want you to cherish Jennie the way I cherished you and you cherished me because I know that she will be able to be there for you through your whole life since I won't be able to be there for you in person anymore. My presence will always be with you though even if it's not in person, I will always be watching over you to make sure that you stay on the right path without me right by your side. I think you will be able to realise that you have found a best friend in Jennie too and not just your lover. I know that you have because I saw it with my own eyes. You two are each other's halves now.

I know that I promised to stay forever. I am going to keep that promise and stay forever by your side even if it's not in person.

I know that it's always possible to feel better but I don't want to feel better when I know that any second I can just fall back down to the bottom where I was a second ago. I also doubt that it is possible to go back to my old self and if I lost my old self, then I don't wanna keep going. It's the old me that everyone loves, it's the old me that I loved and I just can't seem to accept or love the person I am now.

I can't see myself doing all those things that are meant to be done when you grow up. College, work, relationships, starting a family or anything along those lines. And even if I can do them, I don't want to do them, not like this.

I haven't been feeling too well for the past three years. I could have told you, but I just couldn't bring myself to do so. I didn't want you to sit and worry about me every night because I know that you would do just that. I knew that there was no going back for me Y/n and even if there would be, nothing would feel the same anymore. Please don't blame yourself for anything and don't think that you did something wrong. You kept me going for these three years and I didn't think I would be able to stay that long but I did, but there's only so far a torn car can go.

I can only apologise for not having a good explanation for why I did what I did. I know it sounds complicated, but it really isn't Y/n, and we have always been honest with each other and I will be honest with you in this letter.

My will to not want to live is so strong that it's hard to find words to describe it. But I shouldn't have to explain why I want to die so badly because it's simple, I just want to die. I can't apologise for that, Y/n and I am really hoping you will understand.

That day, you gave me everything I needed for the last time before I would leave.

You gave me my last laugh. My last smile. My last cry. My last memories. My last hug. My last words. My last 'I love you'. My last promise.

You gave me all those things that I wanted to experience with you one last time in one day. You are the best person I have ever been with, ever met. There was never anyone that could have replaced you, done anything better than you or treated me better than you. Nothing you did could have been done better. I love you Y/n and always did, but unfortunately, even you aren't making it hard for me to leave this time. I wish it wasn't like that, but I have lost myself a long time ago, I don't know who I am anymore or maybe this is who I am, but I just can't accept the person I am now. You always loved me for who I was, I just wished that I would be able to love myself the same way too.

This is no one else's fault but mine. Don't blame yourself or anyone else, Y/n/n.

Aside from those hard times, I went through, amidst all that and before it, you always created great memories with me. I cherish all the things we did together and I hope you will cherish them for us for the rest of your life.

Please, don't stare at the sunsets for too long to find me because I am right by your side whether you feel it or not. I am right there by your side, holding your hand through it all like always. Please, keep all the promises we made, especially the last two we made that day and never forget me. I hope you can let me keep on living through you, through your memories of me, that way I will never die. Some people do live forever, they live on through you and won't die, you decide when they die by either remembering them or forgetting them. I hope you won't let me die fully.

I promise to be safe wherever I end up and put in a good word for you to God if it is heaven. Stay safe for me Y/n, keep Jennie safe and the ones close to you too. Love everyone unconditionally just like you loved me. Keep on living your life and don't hold back because time won't stop. Take my advice one last time, I can see that Jennie is the one, pursue a future with her because I know that you two will keep each other happy.

I love you Y/n, you're the bestest friend anyone could ever ask for. You're special to me and always will be. Thank you for making me happy when I thought I couldn't be and thank you for giving me so many great memories.

From: Chaeyoung, your Rosie.

You clutched onto the paper in your hands and buried your face into the plushie, crying in pain and nothing else. This was what you needed in the end, this is what made you realise the truth, that your best friend was no longer here. You never failed her. She loved you all this time, but there was nothing anyone could do to change the outcome of things.

-

"I came just like I promised you Chaeyoung." You stated as you made yourself comfortable on the grass in front of Chaeyoung's grave. This time you weren't clutching the flowers in your hand, but you placed them in front of your feet. "I bought you flowers again, just like I said that I would..." You trailed off and bit your lower lip, smiling as you looked at the picture of her by her name. The girl smiling back at you and it felt all warm and fuzzy this time. "I found your letter to me last week and I just want to thank you for always being there for me." You spoke and fiddled with the grass you sat on. You let out a sigh and closed your eyes, letting the sun warm you up as it was slowly setting, but it was still keeping the cold from getting you.

Opening your eyes again you looked past her grave and at the sky, watching the sunset with a little chuckle. "I know that you told me not to look for you in the sunsets, but I just can't help myself at times...It just feels like I might see you in them." You explained as you still would catch yourself gazing at the sunsets whenever you would see one. It felt like Chaeyoung was right there then and you always looked so the moment would last a bit longer. "You aren't here anymore, but I am grateful that you were here for the time that you were...I'm just happy that I met you even if I wish that we could have spent more years together...I will learn to fully accept it as it is, for you and everyone else, Chaeyoung." You said and pulled on the grass straws, taking in a deep breath, you could smell the grass and flowers around you this time, even the sunset had a smell to it, and you could smell the warmth that it created.

Taking another deep breath, this time you could feel your lungs expand as the air reached you and wasn't heavy at all. It was all so light and fresh, it felt nice to be able to breathe again. It was as if someone was holding you back the whole time from all these things until you would learn to accept everything. Maybe it was Chaeyoung since she hated whenever you would be crying all miserable. "I want to assure you that I am going to keep all the promises we made, the last two ones we made that day too and I will never forget you...I will let you to continue live through my memories." You assured her. You were no longer waiting for answers from her because everything was already answered for you. You could let Chaeyoung get the peace she wanted, she could finally rest as you let her do so.

"I thought that you would want to know that no one is angry about your choice and you don't have to be sorry about what you did. I was never angry with you, but myself although after reading your letter, you assured me that I didn't have to." You leaned forward and placed your hand over the gravestone, running your fingers over the polished stone with a small smile. Removing a few small leaves that were resting on it and whatnot. Living life was much easier now that there weren't as many why's in it. Not only could Chaeyoung have her peace now and rest, but so could you.

"You know the plushie I bought you when we were seven, yeah...I kind of took it with me and I hope you don't mind although Jennie keeps on stealing it in the middle of the night in her sleep...She then wakes up and says that she thought that it was me that she was hugging." You said with a grin and looked again at the picture, meeting her eyes that were even glimmering in the picture. The sunset kept warming you up and it was just how Chaeyoung's hugs felt. You were about to say more when you felt something furry nuzzle into your arm that was resting behind you as you leaned back, holding yourself up with your arms. Looking at whatever it was that was rubbing against you to see a small tuxedo kitten. You moved your hand and picked it up, the kitten letting you do just that and you placed it in your lap.

"What're you doing here?" You questioned and looked to see that it didn't have a collar, inspecting quickly to see it was a girl. She purred and you placed her back down in your lap, petting the kitten as you looked at her. "You're so cute." You cooed and pouted at the tiny kitten as she was so cuddly, reminding you of Chaeyoung who always clung to you for hugs and cuddles. The feline made herself comfortable in your lap as she lay down with you scratching her head. "I'm gonna keep on coming every week to visit you and talk...I really don't want you to feel like you are alone." You spoke to Chaeyoung after looking up from the kitten. There was just one thing that would never sit right with you even if you moved on and kept on living your life. There would always be one thing that would always bug you. That there would always be a presence missing no matter how much time would pass.

"I still think that it's ok to miss you even if I am supposed to move on with life." You stated as a matter of fact, there was no way that you would ever just not miss her. You moved the kitten out of your lap, placed it beside you and grabbed the flowers. "Oh come on." You complained when the feline attacked them, pulling off a few petals so you pushed her away as she didn't seem too fond of flowers. Getting on your feet, you ignored how your shoelaces were being tugged at and your shoes probably getting ruined by the claws and you put the flowers on the gravestone. "You're the bestest friend I could have ever asked for Chaeyoung, I love you." You said and felt how your eyes got a little warmer, closing them to compose yourself and stop yourself from shedding tears. "Be safe and I will be too." You let out a shaky breath and smiled at her one last time.

-

"Jennie, I swear she followed me all the way from the cemetery." You defended as you held the kitten in your arms, standing right by Jennie's door after entering her room to get a bunch of questions thrown your way about why you had a cat with you. You used your finger and rubbed her nose, her paws gripping onto your finger as she licked it. "So you just...brought her inside with you?" Jennie asked confused as she looked at you holding the kitten, you hummed and shrugged your shoulders. "It's the cat distribution system...I think Chaeyoung reincarnated as a cat. Let's name her Rosé." You said and walked past Jennie who looked a bit baffled as you had inadvertently adopted a kitten just now, well, it was more like the kitten adopted you as she chose you. You were suddenly convinced that this was your best friend reincarnated as a cat because they were quite similar in behaviour.

Jennie got on the bed and crawled over to you as you sat with the kitten in your lap. "You really think that it's her?" Jennie questioned, curious and joined in on petting the feline that was purring, enjoying the moment very much. None of you ever crossed over the possibility of reincarnation and that it's real. Somehow it felt light to think that this could as well be her, it was comforting even if it didn't necessarily have to be true. You would like to believe that it is true. "I'd like to think that it is." You mumbled and Jennie's hand came down to yours, grabbing it as she caressed it with her thumb. "Then it definitely is...I don't think you would mistake your best friend." You chuckled at her words and she could feel how her whole body warmed up as you were finally smiling again without any tears in your eyes or pain in your voice. She could hear and see that you had come to terms with things and found peace.

You looked up at Jennie when she cupped your face and you both leaned in, connecting your lips for a sweet kiss that was no longer filled with salty tears. "I love you." You spoke against her lips and she hummed. "I love you." She said and attached her lips back to yours, but it didn't last long when you pulled away and hissed in slight pain when you felt claws dig into your thigh. Jennie laughed and you pulled Rosé away from you, holding her up as you gave her a look. "I think we should establish some rules here when it comes to the bedroom and Rosé...Cause I don't think any of us, including her, will be comfortable if she's in here when she shouldn't." Jennie stated and you hummed in agreement, a big smile on your face.

You were going to keep each promise and let Chaeyoung continue living through your memory, never forgetting her and always loving her. She was always going to be your best friend and a part of your life. Nothing would ever be the same, but nothing does ever stay the same in the end, whether she would be here or not.

[bettysupremacy]

gahh im excited???!!

could i request a prompt with poly!marauders and reader at the beach? Helping each other put on sunblock (which by the way is adorable AND hot lol) after they settle down on the beach. I feel like one of the boys would try to make it all sexy or flirt or whatever but reader is super adamant about the how important sunscreen is (being sunburnt, cancer, ext.). EVEN if remus is only planning on lazing around under the shade of the umbrella with a book, reader WILL slather him in sunblock as well. Nobody is safe LMFAO

I am such a sunscreen girlie, you can't catch me outside without it on ;)

thank uu!!

-🫀

SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG

Bringing the boys to your childhood home was exactly what you’d imagined.

You’ve spent your time walking around the town, eating fried clams, and sipping lemonade. You’d find shade from the sun and sit with the boys, sharing the food clumsily. Remus would find a bookshop, Sirius would gravitate towards the music, and sweet James is content wherever you are. Though, he does like football night.

You’d bring sandwiches your mother made and sticky treats to eat on the sand of the beach, running into the sea and letting the waves crash over you. James is more fond of the ocean than the other boys, though they indulge you as well.

It feels nice bringing them a slice of your childhood here. Showing them where you spent your summers away from school with them, where little you scraped her knees and had her first kiss. The ice cream shop you used to sit in and the stretch of beach you’d unconsciously reserved as yours.

You sit on that stretch of beach peacefully with them now. Well, as peacefully as you can with them. You’re fussing, as Sirius puts it, over their physical wellbeing that they’re perfectly capable of protecting themselves. Whatever.

“Fuck,” Sirius gripes behind you. He’s dropped a tomato slice in the sand. You ignore him.

“You need to protect yourselves.” you ‘fuss.’ “Your skin is vulnerable.”

You’re reminiscent of your mother’s words growing up as you kneed in the sunscreen into James’ freckled back. He’s broad shouldered in front of you. Sun kissed, tan, and proud. He sucks juice out of a caprisun pouch loudly.

“If anything,” James puts in cheekily. “We need protection from you.”

"Y/N sunscreen," Remus hums, his eyes focused on his book. He lies on his stomach with his back directly under the blazing sun. You cringe, moving over to him with a warming a glob of sunblock in your hand before applying it messily over his back.

"What does that mean?"

Sirius laughs. “Cause you’re so hot.”

"Oh," you murmur, feeling warm under the sun's heat. That's the only reason.

Sirius sets aside his sandwich, leaning over Remus to kiss you. He tastes like sandwich and coke. Tomato and fresh burrata.

"It's not so much that the sun is hot," you explain as he pulls away. "It's more that your skin can't handle the ultraviolet radiation.”

“I love it when you talk sexy.” Sirius grins. Remus laughs from under you, his chest rumbling sweetly.

“You guys.” You whine.

"Stop," James murmurs lovingly, focused on undoing the parchment paper of his own sandwich. "She's flustered.”

“I’m not flustered.”

The waves crash behind you. They’re so loud and large this time of day, you’re surprised James is still here nursing a sandwich in small bites instead of running against the water with the board he found in your attic. You’d gone up there on the first day looking for things to busy yourselves with when he’d seen it tucked away in the corner. Remus had found scrabble and Sirius had refused to go into the ‘dust bunny room’. It was bad for his hair.

He’s is your next victim now. You crawl over to him, gripping his strong shoulders. “Getting freaky in public?” He asks.

“Protecting you from skin cancer.” You grab the bottle. “In public.”

“I’m turned on.” Sirius cheeks, peeking behind to look at you.

You laugh loud, startled. “Shut up.”

[bubblergoespop]

My Top Vincent Quotes

save me flirty vampire save me (≧∀≦)

“Fuck!”

“When it feels like it’s too much, just squeeze, okay?”

“Because otherwise you’re gonna be doing your best imitation of a Southern-fried steak under this sun. Move it, cowboy.”

“Oh, I know I’m very close. You’re welcome.”

“My entrepreneurial efforts should not be mocked, Vincent.”

“Should I strip down for easier access, doctor?”

“No one can touch you anymore… No one but me.”

“I’ve only ever met a couple of air elementals in my day, and we, uh… we weren’t doing much talking, if you get my drift.”

“Boo!”

“I’ll never get tired of seeing you come down those stairs like that. Like you know exactly what it does to me. Like you own the room. Like you own my heart. Because you do.”

“This is different. Because it’s with you. And not because of what happened to you but because it’s you. Because of what you mean to me. You’re special to me.”

“I love your neck. And that’s not a vampire thing. That’s a Vincent thing.”

“Hold my hand. Please. Yeah, hold it tight. Feel how strong it is. That’s all for you. It’s your strength. It’s yours.”

“Unlike me, the proverbial golden child.”

“Your scent, even through the skin… It’s torture. But the fun kind.”

“The old man.”

“Knowing you has been like switching my life from black and white to technicolor.”

“When I’m around you all I can think is Ohm my god— That one was so dumb”

“You. I’m looking at you.”

“I assume your lupine-inclined S.O. finds it palatable?”

“I can find them.”

“God, your blood practically sings to me, do you know that?”

“I love you. And I will spend eternity at your side if you’d let me.”

“Don’t tell him I said that though. He already threatens to kick my ass every other day. I’d probably deserve it too, but he’s too much of a softy to actually do it.”

“What? I am looking. All right, maybe I’m not looking out at the view. But I’m definitely looking. And loving what I see.”

“All of you is amazing. I mean that. I couldn’t say it if I didn’t. “

“If you really want someone to act like a mother hen, try pulling anything in front of Sam, you can practically hear his blood pressure rising in real time”

“You were my new beginning.”

“My magic is yours, to be whatever help it can. All of me is. Always.”

“I love you. Yes, even when you eat shit. C’mon, you goof.”

“I know your neck’s sweaty. What’s your point?”

“I need your blood. Please.”

“Yeah. It’s still a Vincent thing. I’ll always love kissing your neck, Lovely.”

“Alexis is… being Alexis about it all.”

“Oh I’m not just any idiot, I’m your idiot. There’s a difference.”

“Mine.”

“It’s nothing. You just… you look so cute cuddled up under the sheets like that.”

“Fuck, you smell good.”

“What? I am being good.”

“I’ll fix the drywall… You’re right, I won’t.”

“If the attendant hears it’ll give him something fun to talk about when he gets home.”

-“Even when we’re apart, just thinking of you gets me hard.”

“Have I mentioned that I love when you really lean into your Vampiric strength? Good. Because it’s so fucking hot.“

“You know I’ve always been a tease. Your tease.”

“Yeah you can bite me. Do it.”

“I said mine.”

“Let’s go see what the cowboy’s thinking.”

“Fuck. I wanted you so bad. You’ve been so close. But I knew it’d be worth the wait. And you’re worth every minute of the wait. ”

“Makes sense when your mate’s halfway to being a lumberjack already.”

“Eat shit, asshole. Is that better?”

“Do you like it? [the cutest relieved chuckle in existence] Good. Good I’m glad.”

“I’m not some animal. I’m Vincent Solaire. I’m not just a vampire. I’m more than that. I have to be more than that.”

“Lex.”

[roykiller07]

idk if anyones done this yet but i translated the fine print on bills soul contract 👍👍👍 its under the break in case its considered spoilers

you are now twenty one grams lighter

this contract is legal and binding[] we reserve the right to use your likeness[] face[] voice and small town pluck in whatever nefarious manner is deemed necessary[] sans soul[] your soulmate will not recognize you and will walk right past you on a cold autumn day[] never making eye contact[] not even processing that you have eyes at all[] no amount of interaction will move them to a place where they can remember[] in feeling[] the thousands of lifetimes you have already spent together[] each time choosing whatever form would keep you closest like otters holding hands in a tumultuous river[] you were birds[] you were trees with roots entangled[] drinking in the sunlight together[] []wherever we go next[] whatever you choose[] i will always be right there with you[][] thats done[] buddy[] congratulations[] you have chosen bill instead[] mcdonalds reserves the right to put a giant yellow m on your torso and forehead and send you walking through a crowded times square while you scream []the fries[] the fries[] they don[]t degrade in nature[][][] it[]s an immortal food[][][] they will be in the landfills long past our deaths[][] good god[] the things s i[]ve seen[] me[] who am i[] oh i[]m bill[]s previous lawyer[] he put my soul into a quill pen so i can write his legal documents until the sun snuffs out like a candle in this sick universe[] i used to be so hot[] i was so fine[] now i[]m fine print[] speaking of which[] bill reserves the right to put your soul into an inanimate object[] a strange creature[] a concept[] a sentence[] a tasteful but rustic mason jar with wildflowers in it[] if at any point you wish to have visitation rights with your soul[] you will be swiftly denied[] unless you had a cool day planned for the both of you[] then bill might want to come along[] by signing this document you forfeit any rights to eating soul food[] it will turn to ash in your mouth[] a fitting punishment for a fool who squandered the only true gift life owes you[] bill reserves the right to dress your soul however he deems necessary[] especially if your soul was a nerd before acquisition[] soulmakeoverrr[] your soul may become fractured and placed into different objects[] this has no purpose and will not resurrect you if you die[] signee has forfeited all rights to any afterlife[] including but not limited to[] heaven[] hell[] purgatory[] big corner[]flow state[] the dream house[] the reincarnation processing center[] axolotl[]s tank and consequences hole[] signee can no longer board any soul train and is advised to discard all bellbottoms[] signee can no longer have a puppy as a best friend[] they can sense what is gone[] cats are indifferent[] signee can experience occasional demon possessions from horculus the red[] plabos the merciless[] morbus son of mortem[] plaga the oozing and other such common demons roaming earth searching for weakened[]empty vessels[]tips for ripping your soul out at home[] watching youtube commentary channels[] attending an extended family event with an open bar[] using generation ai and asserting that you are creative[] turning a blind eye to human suffering[] amassing more wealth than needed[] purchasing a blue checkmark

i didnt feel like interpreting the punctuation (which is all just rectangles on the og document). it is translated letter by letter so if it seems like i forgot a space or wrote a letter where there shouldnt be its because it was like that in the original. pls let me know if u think i achsually made a mistake !!!!!

ive been translating everything i can and ill post the rest if ppl want but i felt like everything else was small enough anyone could translate it, this one was just long enough a lot of ppl wouldnt wanna bother 😋

i believe the code to get this image is: NAITSUAF

[ragingbookdragon]

And I'll Be An Old Troubadour, When I'm Gone

Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader

Word Count: 1K Warnings: None

Author's Note: Dis my favorite GS song <3 fits my OC perfectly <3 -Thorne

**********************************************************************

Ghost doesn’t typically get out of the country if he can help it when he’s on leave. Rarely does he even get to Scotland to see Soap’s family. That’s about it, but somehow, Troubadour convinces him to fly out to the States and down south to see him for the month they’ve been given. It does take quite a bit of convincing, and even a great home cooked dinner and somehow wining and dining Ghost’s pants off, but he does.

Troubadour has a fun time showing him around the town he grew up in, and even takes him to the high school he played football in. He grins widely as he sees his trophy in the case and a cheering team photo behind it. He tells him stories about getting drunk by a bonfire and almost burning all the little hair he had on his chest when he decided to jump over it and almost fell face first instead. Tells him about how he managed to whoop a rival school’s tail in a street fight in a parking lot when he was a senior. Talks on and on about how he used to spend every summer on a tube floating down the river with a fishing pole in one hand, a beer in the other, and a can of bait between his knees. Ghost’s eyes don’t give it away, but his smile is evident beneath the black face mask he wears around the town.

He drives Ghost around town, takes him to the local diner and shows him what a real country fried steak tastes like, and by the time they’re done with apple pie and coffee, Ghost is literally bursting at the seams and ready to fall over in the booth while Troubadour laughs at him. He looks good when he laughs. Like he isn’t trying to look out for everyone like Price always is. Troubadour’s good like that; the big brother they never had, the one they can go to for anything, no matter how foolish or big. He sometimes thinks Troubadour should retire and do something better with his life. Something less risky. But he knows that Troubadour is a good man, wants to do the right thing, even if he gets his hands dirty. He wants to make a difference. Wants to be the man he deserved to look up to as a young man instead of the shit father he did have. Sometimes Ghost wishes he could be a good man like Troubadour.

Troubadour tells him the cabin he’s rented is about two and a half hours out of the town and Ghost settles into the passenger seat of the 2021 Dodge RAM 1500, comfortable and content to close his eyes for a couple hours. He watches the end of the sun fall behind the mountains and watches the stars come out above the truck. So deep in his own mind that he doesn’t realize Troubadour’s hand is on his thigh until he feels his lover’s fingers gently pressing and thumbing against the roughness of his jeans. Troubadour likes to touch. He’s always holding Ghost’s hand, his thigh, his chin on the soldier’s shoulder, toes brushing his calf under the covers.

He looks over inconspicuously, taking in the side profile of the man he’s come to love so deeply, of something that came from such an admiration and respect. Ghost often wonders if Simon Riley would be the man Troubadour was if he hadn’t let his past warp him so greatly. The man’s hands are strong, firm, steady, the wheel gripped in one as he silently and masterfully turns the wheel around a winding curve when the radio plays the next song and he sees the corner of Troubadour’s mouth turn up and he starts to hum the cords of the beginning, and Ghost is almost shocked at the smooth voice that comes out of the man, like bourbon running in his veins as he sings.

Sometimes I feel like Jesse James, still tryin’ to make a name. Knowing nothing’s gonna change what I am. I was a young troubadour, when I rode in on a song. I’ll be an old troubadour, when I’m gone.

It makes something in Simon’s chest tighten painfully. Their lives are lived in an hourglass that’s running out of sand fast. Every moment is never guaranteed, no tomorrow ever promised, but the longer he spends with Troubadour, the more he hears the life he wants to be living instead. He wants to wake up at five AM for god knows whatever reason, and sit on the porch in matching rocking chairs drinking their coffee. He wants to sit on the back porch in the swing and drink bourbon as they watch the fireflies in the summer and talk about the change in football and wonder if the season will be better than last year’s. He wants to spend every Sunday going to a café where they complain about the same breakfast they always get but still eat it and can’t wait for the next time. He wants to sit on the steps of their home in the early winter months, and watch Troubadour chop wood and bitch that he could chip in instead of ogling him like a pervert but still take his sweaty shirt off anyway.

Simon begins to admit the one thing he’s always been afraid of, and that’s the fact that he actually wants to live long enough to die an old man next to the old man he’s come to love.

He doesn’t even realize his eyes have begun to sting until he blinks rapidly and takes a deep breath, looking over at Troubadour as the man simply sings away without a care in the world other than the fact one of his biggest bragging rights is, “George Strait wrote a song about me. I mean, it’s obviously about me.”

Simon feels the world collide with everything he’s ever felt and known when Troubadour looks over as if called out to him and gives him a pearly white smile.

I was a young troubadour, when I rode in on a song, and I’ll be an old troubadour when I’m gone.

Troubadour picks up his hand, kisses the back of Simon’s, an ever-present and firm promise to love him for all he’s worth for as long as he has and even into the next life and all eternity.

I’ll be an old troubadour, when I’m gone.

[miserymerci]

Fluffy February Day 10: Care - Desert Water

Fandom: Lego Monkie Kid

Characters: MK, Sun Wukong, Mei

(Sunburst duo, Jackfruit duo, Samadhi fire, Alternate universe)

Word count: 4347

Summary: (TW: Descriptions of a panic attack) In our original timeline, the Samadhi Fire reforges and almost tears Mei apart. In this timeline, things aren’t much better.

There is little that you can’t steal from people. Money can be taken, for one, and life, for another. While most stolen things are material objects, there is also the intangible; love, happiness, trust …

The downside of taking love, happiness, and trust by force is that they often become broken in the process. If there’s one thing that remains constant in people, it’s their will to bite and scratch and tear when attacked. Broken love is not love, broken happiness is not happiness. It becomes a second, more awful thing not too different from hallucinating an oasis in the middle of the desert.

So, then, broken trust is not trust.

Mei and MK met as children in the midst of a mediocre autumn day. She had begged her parents for fast food, was promptly denied, and then threw a tantrum so bad that they had finally– begrudgingly – found themselves at Pigsy's Noodles for dinner.

Pigsy’s was by no means a fast food place.

So, really, Mei was totally justified in her little five-year-old mind to be upset. She pouted with her head on the counter, stuck her tongue out at the noodles, glared dramatically as her parents ate… what else could a child do to express their feelings? Well, she could always toss the bowl. She wasn’t going to make this easy.

Before she could execute her next plan, MK popped up from the other side of the counter. Mei flinched back in her seat.

“Where did you come from?” asked Mei.

“My room,” said MK, blankly, “I’m Xiaotian. Are you going to eat that?”

Mei blinked. She followed the kid’s finger to her bowl of noodles, and then remembered that she was supposed to be pouting.

“No,” she said, sticking her nose up, trying to see if her parents were paying attention. They weren’t. 

“Can I have it?”

“Why do you want it?”

“Because if you don’t eat it, Pigsy will have to throw it away. And it makes him upset. He cries about it at night.”

Mei frowned, glancing at the chef behind the door flaps of the kitchen. He was weird and scary, but did he deserve to cry? Her inner sympathetic self (annoyingly) jumped out and decided that she didn’t want to go that far. 

She pushed the bowl toward Xiaotian. 

“My dad cries at night. Not about noodles, though,” said Mei after a moment of watching Xiaotian fumble with his chopsticks. “He paints as a hobby, but gets cranky when he can’t get the colors right.”

“Oh! I paint sometimes. With crayons.” 

Noodles fell out of Xiaotian’s mouth as he chewed and talked with his mouth full. Mei was thoroughly intrigued. 

Wordlessly, she handed him a napkin.

“Thanks.”

“You’re making that look really good,” she said.

Xiaotian, for the first time during this conversation, broke his blank expression to smile. It was sort of weird, though, as if he had only attempted it a few times.

“It is. Pigsy makes the tastiest food in all of China.”

Mei wrinkled her nose. She snuck another look at her parents, who were likely chattering on about a future business deal, and then turned back to Xiaotian.

“Are you not hungry?” asked Xiaotian.

“I… Well, I am , but I wanted fried chicken. Not,” she frowned at the peppercorn swirling around Xiaotian’s chopsticks, “ …this .” 

“What’s a fried chicken?” asked Xiaotian through a mouthful of beef. 

Mei’s jaw dropped.

“You’ve never had–! Fried food! Have you ever had french fries before?”

“What do French people have to do with frying chicken?” 

“How do you know what France is but not– this is hard to believe,” said Mei after a moment, “have you lived under a rock ?!”

“Mei!” said her mother, finally turning to look at her. “What are you doing yelling at the chef’s boy? Be more respectful.”

Mei squeezed her hands into fists on the counter.

“We were playing a game,” said Xiaotian, licking his lips, “who could yell the loudest. She’s winning.”

“ Xiaotian ! What are you doing eating the customer’s noodles!?”

Xiaotian actually looked worried this time. He cradled the bowl in his hands and turned to Pigsy.

“Didn’t want you to cry,” he blurted.

“What–”

“I’m full. I was gonna throw it away,” said Mei, crossing her arms, “ without drinking the broth.”

Pigsy gave a full-body shudder. He tightened his hold on his ladle, grumbled under his breath, and then returned to the kitchen. He might have said something about the disrespectfulness of the young these days, but it wasn’t something either of them had remembered. 

When Xiaotian turned back to Mei, she looked deathly serious.

“I’ve never lied to my parents before,” she said, quietly.

“What’s ‘lied’?” said Xiaotian, just as quietly.

“It’s when you say something that hasn’t actually happened.”

“Like a story ?”

Mei shrugged, still awestruck, “kinda.”

“You made a story for me?” asked Xiaotian.

Mei blinked at the boy’s blank expression and laughed . 

“My name is Mei,” she said, “but you probably already knew that from my mom. It’s nice to meet you Xiaotian… but I need to teach you the delicious good-ness of fried chicken.” 

Xiaotian brightened. He glanced down at his half-eaten soup and offered it back to his new friend.

“I will eat fried chicken, but you have to give Pigsy’s noodles a chance. They’re delicious good-ness too.” 

Mei, whole tantrum forgotten, straightened up in her seat with excitement and took the bowl. 

“Thank you. I… here,” she dug around in her pockets before holding out a little, crinkled daisy. “I picked it from our garden this morning. You can have it.”

In actuality, the Dragons grew only fruits and vegetables in their garden. Mei had been given a tiny dirt box of her own just beyond the mangosteen tree on her fourth birthday, and flower seeds that her parents didn’t expect would live to see the next week. 

Xiaotian held the daisy very, very gently. A pool of warmth was drawn from the flower into Xiaotian’s veins; like the cozy bubble bath Pigsy had given him only a few weeks prior. The flower wouldn’t stay fresh and green for anymore than a few hours, but the steady transfer of trust had already taken place.

The flower, early the next morning, would be found as a crispy, burnt vessel, and Xiaotian would catch the worst fever in his existence. Tonight, however, Mei blew on the hot noodles and took a bite.

The three rings of Samadhi spat fire around them; like a wolf with no eyes; like a tiger with no teeth. The most vicious beasts came in a state of deep confusion, like sorrow and hunger and panic. Scared beasts lash out– like sparks? Like fire . There was only fire. It breathed in their lungs and spilled out of their mouths like rotten poison. Fire can’t help but consume. It was in its nature, after all, and many would lose their lives in its blind fury.

Mei, in the middle of it all, held onto Macaque’s wrist like a lifeline; as if he was the only person between Mei and death. 

In a sense, he was. But he was not on Mei’s side. As far as she knew, he never has been– and never would be. 

The fire was roaring. The lights were blazing. Macaque’s hold on her was scalding. The smoke of it all gathered into her nose and tried– cruelly, slowly– to break into her very being. The Samadhi fire… was it coming? Which of these bright lights was it? Did it matter? Would she die? Was she already dead? Could she still fight?

The screams of her friends warbled in the heat. Through blurry vision, she tried her best to keep her eyes on Macaque. As long as she didn’t let go of this beast, he wouldn’t be able to run off to hurt any of the others. If she just could keep holding on… stay brave a little longer . Mei tightened her grip and glared at The Macaque. 

He wasn’t looking at her. His unclouded eye darted around the ritual site with a look so strange that Mei couldn’t stop her heart from dropping. 

Something was going wrong. Something was wrong, and Mei couldn’t do anything .

The fire, deep and dark and merciless, raced past the wailing night sky like a wounded dragon, past Tang, past Macaque, and past Mei.

It struck MK instead.

“No,” whispered Macaque.

“MK!” Tang turned and lowered his hand, but his spell was already in full swing. It sputtered and tolled in a final act of defiance. 

The beam gathered into a golden ball at MK’s chest– and then it burst into flames. 

Macaque dropped Mei. He stepped over her, hesitated, and skidded back from a shockwave of unquenchable fire. It tore apart the ice haunting Macaque’s body. It roared over MK’s cries. It took that cruel, cruel coldness from Macaque and shoved it into Mei’s queasy stomach instead. 

“I was too late,” said someone behind Mei.

She swallowed dryly and begged for the fire to burn her instead. Did she mean that? She didn’t know. She didn’t know anything but the harsh heat and the wild feeling of no control. But now, in the inferno of MK’s painful wails, she could only turn and aim her anger elsewhere.

“What is this?” said Mei, her words wavering. She glared at the Monkey King, who looked between her and MK, frozen. “What did you do to him?”

Monkey King opened his mouth, closed it, then swallowed. 

Mei growled.

“I’m coming, MK!” she tried to shout over the crackling fire (and, probably, crackling bones ). “Stop drop and roll, MK! Drop! Drop !”

She lifted herself up to her feet, prepared to leap, and was barely caught by Monkey King. 

“No,” he said, keeping a firm hold on Mei’s shoulders, “that won’t work . The Samadhi Fire– it’s inextinguishable. Did you forget that part?”

Mei shoved off his hands. 

“I don’t care . We need to help him!”

“You can’t ,” stressed Monkey King, but even he didn’t look very certain of that. His limbs were heavy and his heart shook pathetically in his chest– the words were on instinct, but there had to be a way to wiggle out of this mess (but by all the gods did he feel trapped. Like a scraggy wolf, or an old tiger, or a collared beast). 

“Sun Wukong is right!” called Nezha, his locus petals breaking the others out of their frosty prison just off to the side. “The fire will consume the boy, but it will also consume us if we stay.”

“We can’t leave him!” sputtered Mei. 

“There has to be another way,” begged Pigsy. 

“There are no other ways. We need to leave, if you value your life,” Nezha was saying, but Monkey King was too distracted staring at his shadow.

Macaque stared frightfully back. 

“ You did this!” 

Through an endless heatwave, Monkey King lunged at Macaque and took him by the throat. 

“I– I didn’t! Well– technically – but… ! Ghrr!”

Monkey King dug his nails against Macaque’s skin. He gritted his teeth as another heartbreaking cry came from the fire.

“ Stop !” said Tang. “It wasn’t Macaque who started the ritual. It was me . Uh, well, he did force me to but– but I felt like I had to! I mean right now I’m kind of having second thoughts…! But you have to understand– it was like it was my destiny .” 

Monkey King’s jaw dropped, and Macaque’s would have too if he hadn’t been dropped bottom-first onto the ground. 

“Destiny?” cried Monkey King, stepping toward Tang. “This whole reason we’re here is because of destiny and you thought it would be a good idea to follow it !? Look around! Is this all exactly what you wanted!?” 

Tang flinched. Pigsy turned to glare at Monkey King, fists clenching.

MK wailed. Somewhere in the flames, his legs buckled and stumbled like a newborn. 

“ AAAAUUUUGHHHHHH !!” Another shockwave rippled past the group. The fire, glowing a faint raspberry, churned into a murky red. Whatever battle MK was fighting, he was losing– and quickly. Monkey King lifted his arm and took the brunt of the force, Mei and Macaque behind him. From the other side of the whipping frenzy, Monkey King could see Sandy doing the same. 

“ What is happening to MK!?” 

“The Samadhi Fire– it was supposed to be inside of you , Mei. During the ritual, a piece of it got away from me and took form inside the closest vessel it could find: your great-great– eerr probably a lot of greats– grandfather, Ao Lie.” 

“YOU ARE A FOOL, SUN WUKONG!” shouted Nezha distantly. Monkey King tried to pay him no mind.

“SO YOU WERE GOING TO SACRIFICE ME !?” shouted Mei.

“No! No ! I thought that, maybe, I could have taken it away from you and put it into me– uh, okay, it’s embarrassing just saying this aloud…”

“Ugh! Then how does MK have it? We’re not related!”

“You had it before , but you must have given it away unintentionally! Or something! I… I’m not sure .”

Mei deflated, probably going through every single memory of her and MK together. Had any of them involved an exchange of fire? 

Monkey King hesitated at the mortified look on her face.

“You knew ?” sobbed MK, finally, breaking Monkey King from his trance. His arm curled around his gut. Through the charring inferno, his eyes warbled and twisted in sickening pain. MK was looking at him; afraid, confused, burning from the inside out, and wailed; “ Monkey King ? You knew ?” 

The fire was horrendously loud. MK’s cries, somehow, felt louder. They struck through every crack in Monkey King’s walls and, very suddenly, he realized that there was little he could do to fix this.

He had lost control, with no known way to truly extract the fire, with no way to pull his protege from the flames. How did this happen? How had he overstepped? ( Okay , he overstepped a lot– more than he could ever name– but with the kid ? The only times he had let him slip from his grasp was when he wasn’t paying attention; Macaque, the Lady Bone Demon; but he had been so watchful this time. 

Where had he gone wrong? Where had he gone wrong ? 

It must have been his laziness, somehow. Had he been lazy? Maybe a few times, but it had been harmless. No, not harmless– harmless to him , maybe. Not to…

Oh. Oh, he was losing it. He couldn’t… was he? Could he…? Think…! …

The embers went fuzzy around him. The Samadhi fire howled on and on, deforming into a fierce shriek, like a monster going for his traitorous throat– and then nothing but ringing buzzed through his head… something like underwater, something like space, something like nothing.

MK…! MK… MK… ? 

.

.

.

“Wukong!” someone was yelling. Hot air blew through his fur and left something that sizzled there. It kissed his skin and grabbed his windpipes and held on tight. 

“ Monkey King !” someone else screamed. The thing clenched tighter.

He was breathing too loudly– louder than the chaos, louder than the calls, louder than his stuttering heart. Focus. Focus . His eyes stung from the heat and the shaking world cried with MK’s turmoil.

“I need– Please. Please… Monkey… King..?”

Monkey King blinked. What did he want him to do? MK fought against the whipping blaze; stumble after step, step after stumble. He neared like Earth around the Sun, like a thirsty throat to water, like he couldn’t help but gravitate toward the only thing he knew in a desperate time of need.

Monkey King’s breathing quickened.

The fire burst. Everyone was knocked back further, but Monkey King planted his feet and gritted his teeth. Blackened, burning claws scraped ground and sky and flesh and bone.

Focus ! 

MK was crying. He was looking at him– looking for him– looking not for answers from him, but a secret second thing. Monkey King needed to figure whatever it was now (maybe run, maybe fight, anything but stand dumbly).

“Monkey King,” said Mei, oddly level in the storm, “I don’t know if you can hear me, but it just remembered something.”

Monkey King’s tail twisted.

“When MK and I first met, I had felt a connection between us that I had never felt before. I mean… I had my parents, of course, but that’s a bond that began even before I could really think. With MK, it was all my own. I felt as if every action and feeling was me . I shared with him my trust that day, and I think it may have helped us for the better. Like I could share every piece of me with him. Like it helped lessen the pressure.”

‘I don’t get it,’ Monkey King wanted to say, ‘please spell it out for me. I don’t understand. What is trust? You want me to trust him? How can I trust him any more than I already do? Do I? How do you even show trust?’

What can he do?

‘What can I do?

‘What can I do for you …?’

The heat kissed his face. His company was gone, now, hidden away behind walls of flames that had glazed past him and trapped him in the eye of the storm. It was just him and MK; MK and the fire; and he was frozen. 

MK crashed into Monkey King. The fire reared, wailing in support of MK's weakening will. His knees knocked against Monkey King’s, stumbled, and then ashen hands balled up the cloth at Monkey King’s chest.

He could hear MK’s every growl and grit, now. His body was warm like a fever and his grip tugged at Monkey King’s fur. The fire, deep in his kid, reached out to try to grab him , too.

It lashed and spat and tore and the smell of smoke lingered like a wound. 

Him and MK. Him and MK. And then MK and the fire… the fire…

Them and the fire.

Monkey King breathed it in. The smoke eagerly seeped into his immortal lungs and shuttered. His hand, once frozen at his side, snuck up and untangled MK’s hands from his clothing. He squeezed his hand, and MK struggled to do the same. 

MK was sobbing into his neck. He could hear it in the crackling of the flying sparks. He could feel it in his heated bones. 

‘What can I do for us ?’

And Monkey King had an idea now; an inkling of one, as usual, but instead of starting as a thought, it began as a feeling. Less like he ‘should’, and more like he ‘could’. 

Monkey King’s other hand broke from its daze and wiggled into that little spot where MK was hiding his face. With two fingers, he pressed at the dip in MK’s throat and found his pulse.

It raced and raced like a wildfire. It sparked from MK’s heartbeat. It clung onto Monkey King’s touch. He gritted his teeth as the Samadhi fire darted straight into his body (like an illness, like a bad dream, like a–).

He shook his head and huffed, the fire finally making his composure waver. His belly burned with the beginnings of something destructive. It taunted his resolve.

With another smokey breath, he pulled MK closer. He could do this. He had helped to contain the fire before, how different could it be to contain it in himself?

“I’m sorry we’re in this mess, bud,” he grunted out. “And I’m sorry I froze up like that. But I’m here, and I see how much you trust me to fix this right now.”

MK’s heartbeat quickened, and he keened in fiery pain.

“It’s okay. We’re okay. Shh– shh… Do you feel the fire? Not the burning, aching part of it: its core. Its heart. Do you feel it? It’s lashing out because it doesn’t know where to go. It’s spent most of its life dormant and it’s–” a wave of the Samadhi fire fought against his control of it. Monkey King swayed back and growled “–it’s free now, and it doesn’t know what to do. We have to calm it down– not let it control us.”

The kid sucked in a harsh breath, choked, and then inhaled again. The flames wavered and roared around them, surprised at the attempt of reeling it in. Monkey King imagined that, if he could see MK’s face, it would be tensed up in that determined, brave way of his.

Monkey King focused on MK’s fluttering pulse and then said, “There we go. We’ve got it. Hang on tight. Grab it and don’t let go– pull it close and simmer it to sleep. We’re not on fire, we’re using the fire. It’s ours, not us.”

The fire, mighty and lethal, split at the coals and seeped into Monkey King’s gut. It coiled there like a tired beast, warm from the sun and protective like roots to rain; rain to clouds; clouds to sky. He hung onto the life alight inside of him and onto the life clinging to him. He bit the inside of his cheek and tasted iron and smoke and something strikingly sweet.

MK took the other half of the fire. The wildness of it, suddenly, became so much more bearable. Two little flames that had come from one life with the strange purpose of being destructive reeled into their beings like a sharing of duty.

No, not duty– Monkey King took a deep breath that was full of MK’s bitter hair and felt the fire twinkle and ring inside the both of them– this was a sharing of trust. Proof that they could stand together and achieve a type of care that no forced bond could steal. 

The maroon flames sighed one last tired effort and whisked into nothing.

Monkey King blinked once, then twice, and then took away his hand from MK’s pulse and looped it around MK’s back. His shoulder was wet. MK had been crying there, seeping into his clothes and skin.

“You did good, bud,” he said into his protege’s hair. He blinked away the stinging of his fire-nipped eyes. “We got it. We’re okay now.”

MK shuttered in relief and went limp in his arms.

“Kid!” shouted Pigsy, cutting through the receding smoke first. He reached out and helped Monkey King lower MK to the ground. “Is he alright? What happened in there?”

“Your big blue friend was going to try to charge through the fire after our view was cut off. I had to hold him back,” said Nezha, nearing carefully, as if curious.

Monkey King sighed.

“He’s going to be okay. We were able to calm the Samadhi fire inside of him, but–”

“He still has the fire ?” snapped Pigsy. He pulled back his hand from where it was on MK’s forehead and whirled on Monkey King. “Take it out of him!”

“You saw what happened to him. If you want Wukong to take it out of the kid completely, then let’s go ahead and start the ritual again,” said Macaque.

“What’re you still doing here!?” blurted Monkey King.

Macaque shrugged and averted his eyes from where half of the group was shooting him withering looks. 

“Public space,” he said.

Monkey King felt the fire twist unpleasantly inside of him. The beginnings of anger threatened to kindle the spark, but he took a deep breath and focused on MK’s resting face. 

“I took away half of the fire from him and put it into myself,” he said. Nezha took a step back from him, and he pretended not to notice. “It’s… not a permanent fix to the problem, but no one’s on fire anymore, so that’s an improvement…”

Pigsy sniffled (angrily) at him, but swallowed his words. Instead, he turned back to MK to tend to his lingering fever.

Monkey King’s tail coiled and uncoiled nervously. He felt queasy from the unfamiliar fire inside of him, like he could faint any second and have a long, tremendous nap. He turned the slightest bit to look at Mei, who had come to stand next to him in the calm after the storm.

“You sounded like you knew exactly what to do,” he said.

Mei startled, wiping at her teary eyes before looking up at Monkey King. Her worried face was equal parts concerning and touching, and he hoped to never be the cause of a look like that again.

“Why didn’t you do it?” continued Monkey King, softly. 

Mei shook her head. She almost looked guilty, but one look at MK replaced that hesitance with certainty. She smiled at Monkey King (something he didn’t expect her to do to him after all that ).  

“I just felt it in my gut; that it had to be you to do it. MK already knows that he and I… we’re a team. We can always rely on each other. I just…” she sheepishly crossed her arms (almost hugging herself, almost not), “I needed to know that you would go halfway to him, just like he would go halfway for anyone else here. I needed to know you really– really – cared.” 

Monkey King bit his lip and sighed, “Of course I care.”

Mei laughed, still tense from the aftershock, but friendlier than she was before when she was just about ready to smack him upside the head. They watched MK’s breathing steady out. Pigsy, ever the hovering parent, placed a wet rag (that had been provided by Nezha, fearful of Pigsy’s protectiveness) over MK’s forehead.

“Now that you have the fire,” started Mei again, quietly, “are you going to go after the Lady Bone Demon?”

Monkey King glanced down at his fingertips. He let them twitch with a newfound, blazing energy; one that could combat the everlasting ice haunting his past and future. It was true that he had gotten what he had wanted (albeit only half of it), and it might just be enough to win the war. But it hadn’t got exactly how be planned. Out of all of the ways this could have played out, this one was by far the most mortifying way he dared to imagine.

He pulled his eyes away from his hands and blinked slowly at MK.

“No,” he said, “if we go up against the Lady Bone Demon, it’ll be together.”

[pumpkinpot]

BG3 X farmers market booths

farmers market season is upon us and I am an avid faire/con/market goer. I loved the entire side quest in BG3 involving the traveling circus, and it got me thinking.... What kind of booth or show would each of the bg3 companions have?

There is only a few ways I could see the troupe actually agreeing to participate one is they are really low on funds and the other is an investigation. either works for these ideas.

Roland: He mentions that he has a big interest in making magical education more accessible to the masses so I feel that that would be a bit part of his booth. you know those booths at farmers markets that all sell secondhand books on rolling carts? I feel like that's the vibe. He has posters for magical workshops being hosted at Razmith and cozy chairs for people to sit around under and umbrella and read for a while.

Karalach/ Dammon: they decided to put their skills together and forge artisanal cloak pins and other fineries. its really helpful having someone who can heat the metals so quickly so dammon can craft quicker. Its not long that they have to eventually raise their prices because everyone at the faire wants one of their hair pins or spoon rings.

Astarion/ Scratch: He was offered a place in the kissing booth that he immediately turned down. Of course, his alternative idea was a blood drive. cheeky bastard. in the end he settled for animal handler. Believe it or not, once he no longer had to rely on animals as his food source he found he was quite good with them. He got the idea from constantly having to repair scratches ball, so he decided, with some help from Halsin, to make toys that cannot be destroyed no matter how tuff your pet. He also sells bandanas with tracking spells woven into them and treats that let your dog speak for an hour or two. Him and scratch make an adorable team, people commenting consistently on their matching hair and bandanas. He sells the most of anyone at the fair, followed closely by Halsin.

Halsin: Mans forgot that yall are here to make money. He decided make a booth for pollination education. He has a lepidopterarium for people who want to hold butterflies while he tells them the importance of local wildflowers. Everyone that visits the booth gets a seed bomb. when he was told he actually needed to sell something he settled on honey he harvested. He has to ask you what people mean when they say he's of "beekeeping age," and what "forest daddy" means.

Gale: Idk where this came from really, but I feel like he has a candle booth. but enchanted candles. hear me out. "this candle smells like the first warm day of the year, when the sun touches your skin for the first time in months," o, "this candles you can poor on your skin to heal a pulled muscle or burn," or "this candle influences your dreams and takes you where you want to go."

Blurg/Omeluum: Naturally, they have a mushroom booth. But not just mushrooms. Burg took one culinary class and decided he needed to open a food truck, but everything was mushrooms. fried mushroom poppers, mushroom tacos, balsamic mushroom skewers.. Omeluum is just happy to be able to be in public now with its partner.

My Tav (October): The plan to have a spider booth was shot down pretty quickly, so there needed to be a compromise. October decided to have a crochet booth with tons of different projects like blankets, stuffed animals, cowls etc. but they were all made by spiders. Pino was the only one present for the market and a few people wanted to hold her, though most moved along upon hearing the labour practices of Octs products.

Authors Note: I would love to write a second part to this, I just don't have the spoons at this moment. If you have anything else you'd like to see let me know!

Link to Master list (I do not have a gaming masterlist yet. Hopefully more to come!)

[chasingstardustandmoonbeams]

I know it’s on your requests info, but I know you’ve also seen Bones. Would you be willing to write something fluffy with Jack Hodgins? If not that fine, hope you have good night/day!

Of course! I love Bones. It has been and will always be my comfort show ❤️ All this makes me want to do is start up a rewatch.

Word Count: 703

Warnings: None

The hum of the diner was comforting. The case you were working on was an interesting one, but you'd needed the break to clear your mind. Nothing like a crappy diner cheeseburger to make you feel better.

You were just about to take a bite when Jack slide into the seat in front of you. A wide grin plastered across his face. You couldn't help but smile back at him. When Jack smiled it was the most contagious thing in the world.

"You want to tell me what's got you grinning like that?" You teased, taking a bite into your burger.

"Oh, just the usual crack in the case done by yours truly." He leaned forward on the table, grabbing a fry off of your plate. You pushed your plate closer to him, enjoying Jack's playful mood.

"I would expect nothing less from the King of the Lab," you quipped back. You would have thought you hung the moon the way he looked at you.

"Yes! Thank you!" He said enthusiastically, slamming his hand on the table. "Sometimes it really does feel like you're the only one who appreciates my genius." Jack let out an dramatic sigh, his blue eyes gazing at you.

You rolled your eyes at his comment, watching as he popped another one of his fries in his mouth.

"Do you want something to eat? Or are you just going to keep stealing my food?" You raised your eyebrow at him.

He shrugged putting his hands up in surrender, "What happened to sharing was caring?"

"That went away when you stole half of my food - hey!" You laughed trying to swat his hand away as he stole another fry.

Jack leaned forward his head resting in hand. "You love me."

"I do, but your pushing it Hodgins," you teased, leaning forward to capture his lips with yours.

"Am I?" He raised his eyebrows at you pecking you once more.

"Oh, that's so sweet I'm getting cavities. Adorable."

"Hi, Angie," Jack laughed. Both of you turning to look at her. She took a seat next to you, stealing what was left of your fries. You fought a sigh, catching Jack's eyes. He was trying not to laugh himself.

"What?" Angela mumbled?

You and Jack only looked at each other.

"You know what? I don't want to know. Brennan's looking for both of you by the way."

You gave a forlorn look at your burger, and started collected your things.

"Can I-"

"Go ahead, Angie, somebody should enjoy it," you said remorsefully. Angela just smiled at you taking a big bite of your burger.

"Thanks, sweetie!" She called out to you as you and Jack made your way out of the diner. He held the door open for you as you walked through.

You walked side by side back to the lab.

"I was thinking-"

"Don't hurt yourself," you teased.

He let out a breathy laugh, bumping your shoulder with his own. "You basically are spending every night at my place anyways, half your stuff is there already..." his voice trailed off, as he sneaked a glance at you. Both of you walking side by side.

You stopped walking, taking shelter from the sun under the awning of a nearby building.

"Jack?"

"What would you - how would you feel about moving in? With me?"

Your grew slack, your eyes searching his. He was more reserved and bashful than you could ever remember seeing him. They vulnerability clear on his face.

"Uh, you don't have to answer right away. In fact, you know you can just-"

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes, Jack. I want to move in with you."

"Really? That- that's-"

You cut him off by kissing him. His right out reach out to cradle your head, while the other placed itself along your waist, his thumb grazing against you.

Reluctantly, you pulled away, both of you breathless.

"Hodgins?"

"Yeah?" He licked his lips, still holding you.

"Brennan's going to kill us if we don't get over there."

Jack let out a breathless laugh. Placing his arm over your shoulder you both began your walk back to the Jeffersonian. He placed a gentle kiss against your temple, already excitedly planning your next steps together.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Weird Strange Warmth, Thailand

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Sept 2024 Week 2

Ongoing Series - Thai

Jack & Joker (Thai Mon IQIYI) ep 1 of 12 - Oh it’s fucking great. What a fantastic start! It’s a fun cast too. I adore seeing all of the familiar faces. This is a lot more fun than Kidnap (sorry GMMTV, do better). I mean both shows are serving the same kind of concept but with completely different energy. I love that War is playing phi in this series. I think it suits him much better. In fact. I really like these rolls for this pair. I think they’re gonna knock it outta the park. I am so happy this is good. I wanted it to be good. And it’s good!

Monster Next Door (Thai Thurs Gaga ) ep 8 of 12 - Oh no! He read the journal. No snooping! Well I guess they needed to get some tension for these 2 from somewhere, otherwise they are too good to each other. Meanwhile, I’m not sure about the sides in this particular series. I don’t hate them. The laundry jealousy moment was pretty well done. But I'm not sold, either.

Addicted Heroin (Thai Tues WeTV) ep 5 of 10 - I forgot that we were already on the ICONIC kidnapping section of the narrative. I miss Gu Hai's OBEY sweatshirt from the original. (Someday I will own that sweatshirt.) Hero should at least be wearing an OBEY T-shirt. Frankly I miss the harshness of the original too. Johnny Huang was just so massive, August doesn't have the physicality to carry this scene off. Nor does Thailand have the guts to push it into the creepy obsessive territory that made the first version so thrilling to watch.

The thing about the original kidnapping bit was we could feel Gu Hai's vibrating need to possess overriding everything else (including his sense of humor and frustration with himself). Gu Hai KNOWS kidnapping was an over reaction, he KNOWS he is being absurd, he just doesn't care. Because he doesn't just want to fuck Bai Luo Yin he wants to consume him.

We didn't get any of that from Hero. Hero, as a character, just isn't edgy enough to carry off a kidnapping, he's been softened too much in this new Thai form.

And then... An around the back of head not-kiss? Interesting choice. (Checks to see if BoomPeak are hanging out nearby.) Is that because the actor is under age? We in that head space for this whole show? (Pun intended.) Not sure how I feel about any of it.

It’s a much milder confession this time around, because it’s Thailand, but it’s still warped. So I’m still here for the weird strange warmth of this damn show. I did laugh a lot during this episode. 

Kidnap (Fri YT) ep 2 of 12 - Oh I am very much enjoying this.

"You’re the worst kidnapper I ever ever met" is an apt accusation.

Battle of the Writers (Sun YT) ep 7 of 12 - I kinda enjoyed the little side romance story (wealthy writer intellectual + poor local salt-of-the-earth boy = Love Seaing all over my damn screen). It came outta nowhere but... okay.

I honestly have no idea what’s going on with this show. But the kisses are nice. And I pretty much like all of the couples. It’s wild how disjointed it is but simultaneously how pretty. It’s like Star Hunter got hold of Mame’s budget and aesthetic. 

I Saw You in My Dream (Weds Gaga) ep 9 of 12 - Boyfriend era to the max. Production is still ignoring the whole "dreaming the future" POINT OF THIS SHOW.

The Trainee (Sun YT) ep 11 of 12 - Jane is VERY COOL. Like tay-style cool… as it were. I like their dynamic when they're given one to play with. It’s the rest of this show I don’t enjoy. 

Live in Love (Sun Gaga) ep 2 of 5 - It cute. Bit odd but cute. I like the language play, of course. It’s an interesting pair to watch flirt because it’s all language play so that's fun but otherwise, I'm not convinced.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

The On1y One (Taiwan Thurs Gaga) eps 7-8 of 12 - This BL doesn’t drink from the water bottle to show off its neck. It quietly hands you the water bottle and expects you to understand that is not an act of generosity but of polite distancing. It's about the delicacy of the messaging, and the way themes are conveyed with such nuance.

This story is entirely about the two of them figuring out about each other, and then trying to be what the other person needs based on that information. It means they (and therefore we) are on this journey of discovering affection together. It's brilliant.

I must talk about the physical acting of these two for a second. That scene where they’re fighting over the book and then fall into the pool. That was one take. That’s amazing. These two are really fucking stellar not only at acting but hitting their marks. And let's be clear, that is NOT the same thing. I bet they both have stage training.

Define irony: watching two abandoned kids counsel their respective parents through abandonment issues.

Sugar Dog Life (Japan Sun grey) ep 6 of 10 - It is stupid cute and utterly charming. They are total boyfriends. It’s just that one of them wants to be and one of them assumes they already are. Actually, nevermind boyfriends, they’re married.

I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 12fin - It made me whimper a lot because they’re both hurting so much. But in the end it was... fine.

Summation

The compassionate story of a college kid going deaf and the one boy he can hear. I love this manga and was let down by the first adaptation (Silhouette of Your Voice), so I was expecting a lot from this BL. I expected the soundscapes in this one to be fantastic, and the were, but I didn’t expect the filming to be something special too. But it really is. The acting is great too. But the story? It was just fine. They spent far too much time on the build to a relationship, then wallowed in their separation and a problematic girl character, when they should have been showcasing Taichi's character arc and his capacity for connection. Perhaps Japan should pass this one off to Thailand, It's a soft story centering on "food as love" so they might do better with it. I am, yet again, disappointed. 8/10 but I want to give it a 7/10

First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) eps 9-10 of 12 - It’s fine. it’s cute. I enjoyed getting some backstory. More of the sides, please.

Seoul Blues (Korea Fri? YouTube) ep 7 - Honestly, why don’t they just call this entire series The Cheating Diaries and have done with it? I’m only watching it because there’s basically nothing else from Korea right now. But I’m generally mad about it. Including the fact that everybody is so pretty and the acting is so good in the series, but the stories are so terrible.

It's airing but...

The Hidden Moon (Sat WeTV) ep 1 of 10 - This is a supernatural romance (my ghost boyfriend trope) by Violet Rain (I Feel You Linger). A man is hired to write an article about an old mansion in Chiang Mai being converted into a café. He sees the ghosts of people who died at the mansion, falls in love with one of them. Was substantially recast. I loved IFYLITA except the ending so I think I'll let this one run it's course you can tell me if it's work tracking down... if they managed to land it. I have my doubts.

Happy of the End (Japan Tues Gaga) - A boy is disowned for being gay, dumped by his boyfriend, and ends up in a dysfunctional co-dependant relationship with his would-be kidnapper. We were due for another messy JBL and it's exactly as expected. I do not like it at all. And ya know what? There is plenty airing. DNF 

In case you missed it

The Time of Fever (Korea iQIYI & Viki) 6 eps - Side couple from Unintentional Love Story, HoTae & DongHee, return for a spin off backstory show.

It started out fantastic. And it was a relief to have a good Korean BL finally back on my screen, even a high angst one. But I did spend a lot of time trying trying to figure out whether they’re going to rehash or reboot from the previous series. Are we in Between Us territory or Don't Say No or (heaven forbid) To My Star 2?

None of the above, it turns out.

This was a pure prequel about lost first love. As such, it has no real finale beyond what we got in ULS. Which, for this pair, wasn't satisfying. Putting my disappointment over this aspect aside, it is enjoyable on the strength of the characters, actors, and chemistry (if not story). Yes I said chemistry, the kissing is fantastic, sometimes KBL can do that. This one featured the "teach me to kiss trope"!!!! Plus language play. Both favorites of mine. It is all angst, ache, repression, and miles of subtext. It did fudge the ending by not skipping forward and over the events in ULS to depict what happened next (what, no year long time jump when we actually need it, Korea?) It's a worthy companion piece, but should be watched BEFORE ULS for maximum satisfaction, and even then you're going to be left feeling like HoTae & DongHee's relationship was never adequately discussed or depicted in order to achieve resolution.

The little cameo of my baby in ep 5 was much appreciated. But the motorcycle should’ve been set up a little bit more. Of course I wanted it to be about them getting together after the events in the first series. But this was all backstory from start to finish. And while it was good backstory, it wasn’t ultimately satisfying for these characters. Still it’s a good little series. 8/10 

Meet You at the Blossom (China) - I'm eating crow, binging the fucker, and live blogging. It's just taking me some time. This isn't really a bingable show, not for me anyway. It's A LOT to take all at once. No new one this week.

4 Minutes (Gaga) Ended - Spies reported in to say the ending was not-exactly-unhappy and mostly lackluster. I'm torn over whether to watch. My natural disinclination to binge, meets my dissatisfaction with wishy-washy, is going up against my love for fabulous high heat and pretty pretty men.

Mitsuya-sensei no keimakutekina ezuke finished and it’s reported to be solid. Age gap treated with respect. I'm curious, so I'll check it out. Not doing very well on binging and catching up but it's on the docket...

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Still Coming Sept 2024:

9/15 Love Sick 2024 (Thai Sun iQIYI) 15 eps - Remake of the original. I'm scared too.

9/15 Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) 10 eps - Assistant to a player boss who is in love with that boss decides to quit to save himself. The boss then makes a move. (A gay What's up with Secretary Kim?)

9/17 Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues Netflix?) 10 eps - Lawyer and a con artist meet at a bar, pair up, fall in love.

9/28 Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YouTube) ?? eps - oh I don't know just Ba Vinh doing his thing with pretty boys again.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Love a teach me to kiss, teach me to fuck, whatever moment. (I Saw You In My Dreams sides)

Not gonna lie. I laughed. Addicted.

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

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[onsunnyside]

Here it is !! Flamingo King snippet for part 7, originally from part 6 but moved to the epilogue/bonus chapter 🦩❤️‍🔥 I’ve never loved a fic this much and am so thankful for all of your support !! I hope you all enjoy 🥰🫶

“Hey, sugar, you know you don’t gotta knock.”

“I just thought it would only be fair for tonight.” You shyly hold out a bouquet of flowers, vibrant red and yellow tulips from the best florist in the city. “These are for you. I was thinkin’ we could stop by the bakery after dinner? They brought back your favourite pie and I told them to save us a good one.”

Ari stands there for a moment, looking between you and the flowers. Then, he slaps the door, “awh shit, that was today? I thought—” he groans, “I thought it was tomorrow, Friday right?”

“Today is Friday.”

“Shit.” He curses, “The Den has been a fuckin’ zoo with all the college kids being back in town, my brain is fried and my eyes fuckin’ hurt from staring at a screen all day. Aside from bartending, Curtis has us doing all this paperwork and—” he shoulders sag, “nevermind. No need to be standing out there, come in, baby.”

The light flickers on and you can finally see him properly.

Eyeglasses are on the tip of his nose, his hair is messy and pulled out of his face with a small clip, one you recognize from your small vanity at home. His normally glowy skin is dull and tired, and dark bags make his eyes appear sunken into his face.

You’ve seen him dishevelled, but nothing this exhausted.

He’s still as pretty as ever, but just so terribly tired.

“Give me a few minutes, I’ll get ready quickly.” Then he’s off to his bedroom, abandoning his laptop and coffee table cluttered with dirty dishes, and plenty of papers.

A blanket and pillow that used to occupy his big, comfy bed are on the couch, along with a spare t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. His record player is off, no slow rock song filling his trailer like usually.

You hear several slams and bangs before peeking into his bedroom and it’s a mess, far worse than the living room. Clothes skewed over his bed, the laundry bin overflowing and more stacks of empty dishes on his nightstands, although outnumbered by takeout containers.

Ever since you met Ari, he took pride in his spotless home and kept his things organized. He was diligent with weekly cleans, and often reminded you of laundry day so you could do your chores together.

It’s been quite wild for you too from sports season and the rush of people coming in after school or work. Even Andy had to hire new staff just to keep up with the hoard of customers.

Despite being busy, you’ve still made time for each other, going out for late night ice cream, or hanging out in your trailer watching movies on the laptop that you got for a massive discount (from a particular blond cutie with a goatee). But you haven’t been over in a few days, a week at most, and you didn’t know it was this bad.

“Ari.”

“Hold on!” he calls out, digging through his dressers as clothes fall to the floor.

“Ari.”

“Where the fuck are my jeans?” He sweeps through the hangers again, squinting behind his glasses, “Why do I have so many flannels?”

You step behind him, wrapping your arms around his torso. Pressing your cheek against his bare back, you can feel his rigid muscles under his skin. Poor baby, he’s so overworked and drained, yet he was still trying to put you first.

“We don’t have to go tonight.”

“We do. You got all dolled up and bought me flowers. You were gonna wine and dine me, and you can’t do that if we’re stuck in this pigsty.”

You squeeze him tighter, refusing to let go. You know he could easily overpower you, throw you on the bed and continue getting ready. But instead, he just sinks into your touch, slumping over and bracing himself on the dresser.

“I’m so fuckin’ sorry, sugar.”

“Don’t be.”

He always took care of you. Making sure you ate during the day, stayed hydrated and out of the harsh sun. He wouldn’t eat until you took a first bite, and always put snacks and water in your bag before you went to work. Sometimes on his days off, he’d get into your trailer by using the key you gave him and tidy up, wanting you to come home and be able to relax.

Ari has done so much for you.

It takes a few more kisses, some affectionate squeezing and running your hands up and down his chest for him to turn around.

His eyebrows are knotted tight, and a deep solemn frown plays on his lips. You notice his beard is thicker too, a smidge longer than his usual trim.

“I’m so tired—I don’t know what the hell is happening.” He sags forward, slinging his arms over your shoulders and tugging you closer.

You turn your head, kissing his bicep. “Wanna talk about it?”

He shrugs. “It’s work, work and work. That’s all I fuckin’ do now. I love The Den and working with my friends, and it always gets busy this time of year but shit…” he huffs, squeezing his eyes shut. “It was fine before because I had nothin’ else to do but now I have you.” He leans down, pressing his forehead to yours, “You're my girl—how the hell can I give you the attention, time and love that you deserve if I can’t even remember what day it is?”

Your heart aches as you stare into his disappointed blue eyes. Framed by thick lashes, they blink so slowly and sleepily.

“I don’t—I refuse to lose you because of something stupid like this.”

“You’re not going to lose me over one missed date.” You promise, meaning every word.

He chuckles dryly and turns back around to search through the closet again. “It starts like that. Then it’s another and another, and soon we aren’t even seeing each other for days at a time and resort to texts and five minute calls.” He rambles, “And then we’re just two strangers who had something great and you’re gonna get swept off your feet by some douchebag who can’t even remember your favourite colour. While you’re off with him in a big and bright city, I’m gonna be an old man still at The Den, talking about how I lost the girl of my dreams to drunk guys who have a million better things to do—”

“—would you be quiet!”

He looks over his shoulder with wide eyes.

“We aren’t going, so put down those jeans and sit on your bed.” You cross your arms.

Ari doesn’t move, his long fingers still clutching the denim. “Uh—”

“Shush.” You snatch the jeans from his hands and toss it on the dresser, and point to the unmade bed. “Go. Now.”

“Yes ma’am.” He mutters under his breath, cautiously walking around you to his bedroom. With a heavy breath, he plops on the mattress, leaning back with his legs spread wide.

His thin shorts ride up his thick thighs, displaying the built muscle and coarse hair. Quickly glancing over his shameless bulge, you admire his cute tummy and the chain dangling between his pecs.

You step towards him, cupping his bearded face in your hands and squishing his cheeks, making his lips pucker. “You have to take a break or else you’re gonna burn out.”

His eyes close peacefully, your touch silencing all of those pesky worries and looming fears. He was normally very reflective about his thoughts, and kept those stupid, useless, noisy ones to himself.

One of your hands moves to his hair, taking out the clip and running your fingers through the dark strands. “You always take care of me. You’re always so sweet and attentive, the best daddy I could’ve ever asked for.” You say softly and lean down, gently pulling his head back to kiss his cheek, trailing closer to his pink, plump lips. “Now I wanna take care of you.”

A low groan rumbles from his chest, “yeah, baby? You gonna take care of daddy tonight?”

“Mhm.” You hum with a chaste kiss. “Work out all those knots in your back, clear your head…” Your hands fall to his shoulders, tenderly pressing into the tense muscles. “Tonight is all about you, daddy. You deserve it.”

It’s about time we get back to the hot and steamy Flamingo Trailer Park !! The posting date would be earlier but your girl has exams 🥸 I hope you’re all as excited as me 🤩 pls feel free to share your thoughts !!

[lulublack90]

Prompt 6 - Explore

@wolfstarmicrofic June 6, word count 960

Previous part First part

Sirius had woken Remus up in the middle of the night when he’d padded across the cabin and got into James’s bed. He’d watched through his eyelashes as James threw an arm around Sirius, tucked him in close and fell back to sleep. Remus couldn’t help the pang of jealousy that ripped through him. ‘Quit it.’ He told himself. ‘Just because he kept grabbing your hand today means nothing. Clearly, he’s just a touchy-feely guy.’ Remus rolled over so he couldn’t see them and forced himself back to sleep. 

When he awoke again, the sun was shining in through the thin curtains and Sirius’s face was hovering right above him. He jumped, startled at the unexpected vision. 

“Rise and shine, Lupin. It’s treasure hunt day!” Sirius exclaimed louder than should be allowed that early in the morning. He groaned and pulled the covers over his head. He felt the bed dip as Sirius got on it. He let out a groan. Sirius didn’t take the hint and wiggled under the sheets beside him. “What’s up?” He asked with a quizzical look in his eyes. Remus tried to escape, but Sirius flung out an arm, stopping him. “Remus, are you alright?” Sirius asked again.

“Yeah. I’m just not a morning person.” He went to move again and this time Sirius let him. 

He had to wait for James to finish up in the bathroom before he could use it. 

“Stop being stupid,” He growled at himself as he furiously brushed his teeth. He sighed as he looked at the weekly medication box on the counter beside him. 

He opened it and swallowed the seven pills he needed for his body to continue to function normally. He was glad the doctors finally found the mix of medications that worked, but he hated swallowing pills. 

He’d asked why seven and the doctor had cheerily said it was the magic number for him. He hadn’t liked that doctor. 

He changed into his clothes for the day, covering up the myriad of scars that covered his chest, abdomen and back from all the useless operations he’d had over the years. 

He emerged from the bathroom with a smile plastered on his face and followed the others over to the main hall for breakfast. 

“I love the treasure hunts. It’s all about smarts, and I am overflowing with the smarts.” Sirius gloated as he munched on a fried egg toast sandwich. 

“What exactly is the treasure hunt?” Remus asked. No one had actually told him yet.

“We go out into the forest and explore the area for clues. We have to figure out the puzzle on the clue cards and follow them until we find the treasure at the end.” James explained.

“Alright, campers. We have split you up into your cabin teams. You will all be setting off for separate points in the forest to start your search. First to figure out the final clue and reach the treasure wins.” Dumbledore announced, waving his arms around as he did. Remus thought the old man was a bit nutty, but you’d have to be to want to spend two solid weeks with a bunch of rowdy teens. 

“Once you have finished your breakfast, we will meet outside. Please remember to put on sunscreen and bring your water bottles.” McGonagall took over. “Do not wander away from each other and do not attempt to cheat. You will get lost, and I do not want to have to try and find you in the dark. If you follow your clues, you won’t have any reason to get lost. 

They hurriedly ate the remainder of their food, eager to get started. 

“Gryffindor, you will be starting by marker 6. Here is your first clue. Do not open it until you are at your marker. When you hear my whistle, it is time to start.” McGonagall handed Remus the white envelope and gave him a pointed look. Do not give them this envelope before it is time, the look said. He nodded and they set off. 

There was a big red marker with a lion on it at the point they were meant to start. It wasn’t that far from the camp so they relaxed on the cluster of rocks near the path and waited for the whistle. 

“Hey Remus, let’s have a look at the clue,” Sirius held out his hand for the envelope. Remus shook his head and tucked it under his t-shirt into his waistband.

“Nope, McGonagall said to wait and, anyway, I thought you were overflowing with the smarts. You shouldn’t need to peek before it’s time,” Remus said sarkily. James and Peter snorted at the dumbfounded look on Sirius’s face. 

“Don’t think I won’t get it just because you put it in your jeans, Remus,” Sirius said with a sly look on his face, right before he launched himself at Remus. 

They tumbled to the floor, rolling around in the dirt. Sirius was laughing madly as he tried to dodge Remus’s hands and get under his t-shirt. Remus was defending himself as well as he could. 

“Get off him, Sirius.” James groaned, standing up and coming over to them.

“Come on, Sirius, leave him alone.” Peter threw his shoe at them but only succeeded in losing it in the bracken. “Damn it!” He said as he hopped over to retrieve it. 

Sirius’s hand darted past Remus’s arm and slid under his t-shirt. He stilled when he came into contact with the thick twisted scar that was just beside the envelope. 

Remus stared into Sirius’s shocked face, knowing he didn't stand a chance now.

Sirius was dragged backwards and James held out his hand to help Remus up just as McGonagall’s whistle blew in the distance. 

Next part

[bettysupremacy]

Summer Girl

summary: Rafe and his summer girl scramble for more time.

word count 1.4k

a/n big thanks to lynn cause i probably wouldn’t have posted this without her</3 im sorry if it seems rushed🙁 I’ve looked over it so many times I’m kinda sick of it

The shrieks of Sarah as topper flings her over his shoulder are deftly drowned by Rafe’s intent fixation on her. The slope of her nose, her shoulders, her pretty eyes, the downturn of her lips as she focuses on the waves. It’s a quiet moment between the both of them, it suffocates Rafe in the best way possible. 

It’s a warm summer day, the sun shining down achily, no cloud in sight. The water crystal and shiny, the waves big and disturbed by Topper and Sarah’s loud joyousness. They splash, and kick, they scream, and giggle. It’s a disgusting show of PDA, if you ask Rafe.

He turns his gaze back to her, watches her hands ball into the sand, let it go, and worm her fingers under the warm grain. He never knew he could find so much fondness in the quiet with her, in the chilly summer days with her. He’s a party boy, as he’d say, through and through.

“Put me down!” Sarah’s shrill voice giggles over crashing waves. 

Rafe had laughed when his summer fling proclaimed her love for the summer. Boyish disinterest when she sighed about salty skin and dinners at the club after beach days, more interested on when he’d kiss her agin. You couldn’t blame the boy, pretty girl laying in his bed and all, but now he understood. 

“Is it because of me?” Rafe had said, poking her side playfully. “Am I the reason you love summer so much, hmm?” 

“Yes,” She smiled at him, tilting her head back into the pillows to stare at his ceiling, “but it’s also the ocean, the way bonfires smell when the fire mixes with the salt of the beach.” 

He didn’t understand, didn’t care to ask. Too poetic for the teen boy.

“The way I looks in my midsummers tux?” Rafe adds, turning on his side. 

“The way you looks in your midsummers tux, the hotdogs your dad makes during pool days,  Roses lemonade.” 

“It’s so fucking good.” He sighs dramatically, dropping his head in the crook of her neck, blotting some sneaky kisses haphazardly. Her arm wraps around him instinctually as she smiles. 

“So fucking good.” She agrees.

He understands what she had been talking about now. He had teased that her love for summer was because of him, but wasn’t that why he loved summer? Her?

“What are you thinking about, handsome?“

Her hand comes up cupping his cheek, thumb swiping over his lips curiously. Her gaze matches his and deep down he knows she’s admiring him how he admires her. Greedy for attention, sick on love. He doesn’t know how to feel about it. Excitement sits deep in his chest. 

“You.” He mumbles, dopey smile on his lips as her hand sneaks back to scratch the back of his newly shaved head. He leans into the touch “You wanna get in again?” 

She’s warm on her towel, letting golden hour soak into her dried skin. “With you?” 

“With me.” He nods. 

“I’m hungry,” Her touch is pulled from him as she sits up. “The Wreck?” 

He sits up as well. “You know it.” 

“Should we invite Top and Sar?”

His slow glare pulls her lips up prettily. “No, we shouldn’t.” 

“They might be hungry you know.” She shakes her head. “Out in the sun all day, swimming with us.” 

“They’ll manage.” He stands up, sighing tiredly and wiping his legs of rogue sand left on his damp skin. She looks up at him confusedly. “You coming, sunny?” 

She smiles at the nickname. “We gotta pack up.”

“They’ll manage,” He repeats, jutting his hand out for her to grab. “come on.” 

She shakes her head again, slipping her hand in his and letting him use his body weight to lift her. “I’m only letting you do this because I’m so hungry.” 

He doesn’t let go of her hand, readjusting and giving it a firm squeeze. “Is that so?” They walk past Sarah’s Jeep. 

“Yes, i could just eat a cow.” She swings their fingers. 

He smiles and she turns away in delight. “What’re you ordering?” 

“A cheese burger and fries, with a milkshake.” She smiles at him. “And Kiara’s Mac n cheese, and-“

“Mac n Cheese? That’s not on the menu?”

“Not for you.” He rolls his eyes.

“Mac n Cheese, and onion rings, and fried shrimp, and a biscuit, with jelly.” 

“Grape.” He adds.

“Yes. Grape jelly.”

“Anything else?”

“Tater tots,” She brings their fingers up and kisses his knuckles. “With cheese and bacon.” 

“You’re trying to send me in debt.” 

“You’ll manage.” She beams.  

—

“Are you gonna miss your touron when she leaves?” She teases lightly, flicking her straw wrapper at him. He dodges swiftly. Flicking it to the other side of the table. She used to roll her eyes at couples who shared a booth bench, but now she couldn’t imagine sitting so far from her summer boy.

“You’re not a fuckin touron.” Rafe rolls his eyes.

“Yes I am.”

“No you’re not.” He puts out, gruffer than he meant. He feels bad.

“Then what am I?” 

“You live a ferry away,” He leans in, both his elbows on the table “2 hours baby, and you’re here for every major holiday.” 

“Thanksgiving, Christmas, Spring break, summer.”

“You remember the time you convinced your mom to let you take the ferry so you could trick or treat with Sarah?” She smiles at him fondly. That was Halloween seven. Sarah and Y/N’s first, and only, Halloween with each other. 

“You remember that?”

“Uh, yeah? What were you again? Velma and Daphne?” She sits back in her chair. “Yeah, baby, I remember things.” 

“You hated me back then.” 

His head twitches affronted. “No i didn’t?”

“You called us tweedle dee and tweedle dum.”  He laughs, unashamed by Mr. And Mrs. Cooper eyeing him at table three.

“Okay, yeah, i did that.” 

She sighs and he tilts his head to catch her eye.

“You’re not a touron.” It comes out more assuringly this time.

She nods. “I know.” 

“So what’s this about, huh?” He shakes his head, knocking his foot with hers. It’s silent. “What’s this about, baby?” 

“I’m gonna miss you.” She snakes her arms around him, pulling him in and breathing in the cologne that stuck to his wet body hungrily.  His arms wrap around her neck, his nose buries in her wet hair. 

“Me too,” he says muffled. “I always do, you know that.” 

��But it was never like this summer.” She sighs.

“This summer?” He questions. 

“You never had to miss us while we were a thing. I never had to miss us.” 

The words hang over their heads oppressingly. Thing. They were a thing. Last year they weren’t a thing, neither the year before that. They never had to mourn a blooming relationship. He doesn’t know what to say. 

Her phone buzzes.

Y’all just up and left us

rude :(

She looks away. Ignores it. He doesn’t like to see her so upset. It takes his heart between cruel fingers and squeezes it meanly. “We’ll figure it out.” She nods in response, letting Rafe pull her into his side, pressing a long warm kiss into her hair. It’s prolonged by his want to be close to her forever, to never let her go back. “You can stay.” 

“I can stay.” She weighs the pros and cons of moving to the banks. She’d have Sarah as her neighbor 24/7, Rafe has her boyfriend, not just for the summer. She’d have a fall boyfriend, winter boyfriend, spring boyfriend, and when it came to it, summer boyfriend all over again. She never liked the kids on the mainland anyways, they didn’t get the obx the way she did. 

“You can stay.” He affirms. 

“I can stay with my grandpa.” He’d been practically begging her to move in since she was 16. 

“You know he’s been inviting you to move in for years.” 

“And go to the academy.” Get my grandad to put me in all of Sarah’s classes.

“Chapel Hill in a year.” Apartment with Rafe.

She looks up at him. He looks down at her. She laughs at his attention and sticks her face in his warm chest. “I’m moving to the banks.”

“You’re moving to the banks baby!” His arms wrap around her deftly, moving them side to side in quick celebration. “This deserves some cake.”

[toomuchracket]

☆tmr wild weekend☆

fri 24th - sun 26th may

let's build some lore (but also get smutty...)!!

below the cut is a list of prompts you'll likely be familiar with, from the multiple nsfw alphabets posted by the amazing writers of 75blr (aka my friends!!). pick a letter, pick a tmr au, put them both in an ask, and i'll answer!! everything will be tagged as usual, but also with 75weekender in case you want to see everything

some ground rules...

1. please don't start sending asks in until tomorrow, i'm only posting now so you can prepare

2. this is a full-weekend event. please don't duplicate your asks - i'm not ignoring you i SWEAR i'll get to them. patience is appreciated!!

3. to that end, i'm going to cap it at three asks per person - obviously if you're anon i won't know, but i'd appreciate if you heeded this request. i am just a girl doing all this by myself, after all, and i think this is a good way to stop it all being overwhelming or impossible to do!!

4. please be nice 😭😭

alright. thank you, as always, for the support. love you guys. have fun!! <3

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

B = Body Part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically)

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying)

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

H = Hair (How well-groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.)

J = Jack off (Masturbation Headcanon)

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

W = Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character)

X = X-ray (Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards)