#I better end up as a mad scientist in my later years of life

[mikrobiotch]

i complain alot when it comes to uni and my course, but not gonna lie, here on my final year i've started to fall in love with it again, the way the fascination started when i was younger and learning new things was exciting.

throughout learning it always felt like i was not built for it, that I just cannot for the life of me focus and dedicate myself on anything. and i was just doubting myself and i should change courses or drop out because I was not meant to do this. and now on my second last semester, things kinda clicked. It may be hard for me to understand and learn, but it's worth it. To see the universe in all of its beauty, its ugliness, its complexity, its charm; it's a struggle but I'll endure it for you.

and I find myself really hoping I get to continue down in the stream of sciences and contribute to something for nature and for humanity as well, or at least deepen my understanding of how this universe works and widen my view of how intricate and special this world we live in actually is, how caring it is, how every single thing is worth something, and nothing from nature is ever truly useless

[tallysgreatestfan-art]

Disabled4Disabled ships spotlight for Disability Pride Month: Princess Entrapta of Dryl and Lord Hordak (She-Ra and the Princesses of Power)

The first time I not just saw someone like me, a bisexual mentally ill autistic woman, but also a relationship like mine, was when I was 22 years old, in She-Ra and the Princesses of Power.

Entrapta and Hordak are both side characters, but their stories touched me the most.

Entrapta starts of as a recluse, building robots and weapons and other technology in her castle. She gets recruited by the good guys, but she never quite fits in with them, and they treat her fairly bad, being constantly annoyed at her autistic traits, infantilizing and dehumanizing her, best shown by one of them actually leashing her, which the series treats as an hilarious joke.

Other than that however, she is portrayed amazingly accurate. She is chaotic and sometimes focuses on things others might find strange in the situation, mostly technology, but she also is very competent in her field of expertise, and she is very empathic and caring – just not in the way the good guys expect her to.

She has peculiar habits about how she eats her food – all in tiny pieces – and she is even seen stimming multiple times, the classical hand flapping, but also turning rapidly in a chair, or using her prehensile hair.

Later she ends up defecting to the bad guys, who treat her slightly better, though still mostly use her for her skills. That ends when her brazenness and disregard for rules make her end up in the lab of the reclusive bad guys leader, Hordak. He tries to enforce his usual intimidation and power dynamic, but Entrapta is not having it, and in the end, he is impressed by her and her technological prowess, and they start working together.

Hordak seems like your typical generic evil overlord villain type, however, he starts to become fascinating as it is shown to be a facade to hide his insecurities and trauma.

Hordak has some form of muscular atrophy along with cardiovascular problems that make him prone to fainting. This made the leader of the interstellar cult he was created for cast him out, stranding him on the planet the show takes place, and now he desperately tries to prove he is capable enough to be worth something.

He built his own mobility aids in the form of a sci-fi power armor, which does not reflect the experience of real life people with muscular atrophy, but works well as a metaphor for how many disabled people have to hide their disabilities in order to find work or be respected. I really saw myself in that, however I must add that I am, while autistic and bipolar, able-bodied.

It could come across as the disability makes you evil trope, but I think it works because the narrative is firm in saying that what happened to both Hordak and Entrapta was unjust, and they are right to rage against the system that abused them like that – just their methods are too extreme.

The most touching part of their arcs is their surprisingly tender romance. First they bond over being mad scientists, then they bond over being disabled and outcasts for that and hating themselves, and finally even help each other to overcome that hate. I never saw this thing I experienced so often with my disabled too lovers portrayed anywhere, and I felt so seen by their romance.

(Another nice touch is how Entrapta is clearly the more dominant of the two, which is a wonderful gender role subversion).

Fate divides them, and they have to fight to get back together, but in the end, both of them survive and have time to heal.

There are definitely downsides to them as rep, both of them being villains, Entraptas abuse at the hands of the good guys being treated as funny rather than awful and her being blamed for it in the end, and the last, fairly bad season making it ambivalent if Hordak is still disabled at all and refusing to engage with this aspect of him any further, and then there is the in scarily large parts extremely ableist fandom and even ableist members of the crew. But they still mean so much to me.

[rallamajoop]

Twist my arm, why don’t you? XD Well, I did tell you guys to ask!

What the hell, let’s open this one by sharing a few pics from a Sims household created by a good friend of mine, made up of Heisenberg (mad scientist), Mia (secret agent) and Ethan (just really wants to be a dad). The three of them immediately became the most delightful sims-land trainwreck imaginable.

Their neighbourhood is full of werewolves, because you can do that in the Sims. Ethan’s apparently made friends with some of them. But because this is Sims-land, when he and Mia tried to have a romantic dinner together, it ended with Ethan passed out on the kitchen floor while Mia set herself on fire, with Heisenberg running in in his underwear with some passing hippie, and being no help whatsoever. Aren’t Sims wonderful?

Beyond the land of the Sims, though… I mean, let’s be honest, my desire for mithanberg comes from how I ship both Ethan/Heisenberg and Ethan/Mia, and refuse to choose between them. I could see it working either as a proper OT3, or a poly arrangement where Ethan’s involved with both of them, but Mia and Heisenberg aren’t involved with each other (on which note, I also ship the hell out of Mia/Zoe, so Mia is not missing out here).

For the few really mithanberg-ish things I’ve ever posted so far, Follow Me Home is headed for the former category, whereas that other one is more likely headed for the latter. Going for the proper-OT3 option does come with the extra hurdle of trying to figure out how Mia/Heisenberg would work when they’ve never even met in canon, but I am fully up for the challenge.

But there’s way more to this ship for me than just the convenience of ‘why not both’. Seriously, wintersberg fic is missing out on so much by writing Mia off so quickly.

For one, Ethan’s somewhat-complicated relationship with Mia is the best evidence you could ask for that Ethan might actually be up for getting involved with someone as fucked up as Heisenberg (or even Chris, if you’re more into winterfield). Mia has canonically lied to Ethan, (accidentally) drawn him into mortal danger, and (while possessed) sliced off his hand with a chainsaw. Ethan’s still with her in RE8, so clearly he’s willing to forgive.

Fig 1: Apparently not a dealbreaker!

Heisenberg, meanwhile, opens their relationship by stabbing Ethan with a fucking spear-headed fencepost, chains him up, drags him off be put on trial, and ‘rescues’ him only by throwing him into a gauntlet of lycans and spike traps. He later sends Ethan through the second gauntlet that is the Stronghold, before finally trying to make a deal with him. When Ethan refuses, Heisenberg throws him to a chainsaw-propeller-faced monstrosity made of engine parts sewed onto a corpse.

Fig 2: Also not a dealbreaker?

I will make some excuses for Heisenberg, given that he’s been trapped in a repressive cult for decades and seems to have internalised a lot of bullshit about the strong destroying the weak, but holy shit is this guy red flag city (and I love it). And that’s not even touching on all the violent bullshit Chris pulls in this game. You may also note that neither Heisenberg or Chris have Mia’s convenient mind-control or replaced-by-a-shapeshifter excuse for their worst behaviour.

Ethan asks for none of the madness all these maniacs have injected into his life, but goddamn, does he learn to roll with it and come back swinging. Whether or not you assume Ethan ever found out the truth about Mia’s past, she offers us some solid proof that Ethan’s ‘type’ does not exclude covert special agents with a talent for violence, who’ve spent years working full-time for evil bioweapons manufacturers. Ethan may not be ready to admit to himself that he’s got a thing for dangerous people, and Mia may be a lot better at pretending to be normal than Heisenberg, but the fact Ethan’s still with her could say a lot.

Basically, if you wanna ship Ethan with either of these other guys, Mia Winters is the best ally you could ask for!

There are other problems with writing off Mia too quickly so you can ship Ethan with someone else, one being that it makes Ethan look like, well, kind of a psychopath. Fic after fic presents him as the kind of guy who can witness the mother of his child being brutally murdered in front of him, and within a matter of hours, he’s apparently realised he was never that happy with her anyway, so it’s just fine if he’s fucking some other dude. The fact the ‘Mia’ people are so quick to dismiss as an abusive bitch wasn’t even the real Mia apparently doesn’t necessitate any sort or reexamination. It’s basically a meme at this point.

Thing is, even if his relationship with the real Mia was unhealthy, you just aren’t going to make a guy like Ethan process that within hours of watching her fucking assassination. Try and make him face it, and you’ll push him straight into defensiveness. Even at the best of times, Ethan’s just not the kind of guy who could leave the mother of his child without a fuckload of heartache and a few rounds of ‘what does this say about me’ at the very least (and Mia loves Ethan far too much to leave him, except in a misguided attempt to protect him). Even if you're writing an AU where Mia really does die (rather than just suffering the usual round of character assassination), at least let that poor boy ANGST about it! C’mon, people – that’s the juicy stuff!

Of course, the real problem fans are grappling with here is that in the current fandom climate, the idea that Ethan would willingly hook up with a guy who stabbed him in the gut that morning is still somehow more palatable than having to consider that Ethan might be capable of being (gasp!) less than completely faithful to a partner who doesn’t deserve it. So it’s not enough that he thinks Mia’s dead, she’s also got to be a horrible person and a complete non-entity who can be forgotten as quickly as we’ve brought her up, just to get her out of the way – as if that somehow makes Ethan look better.

People are so eager to get rid of Mia that I have legit read multiple different fics where, even after being mysteriously reborn post-game via horrific mould-magic, somehow one of the very first things Ethan wants to talk about afterwards is divorcing his wife. Can we not even give the poor guy a single scene to have a proper existential crisis over not being human anymore before finding a woman to blame for all his problems?

Fig 3: Ethan's actual thoughts on his wife right before his death

On the greater subject of that whole inconvenient marriage poor Ethan's saddled with, I can only say ‒ again ‒ c’mon, people, that’s the juicy stuff! A good story needs conflict, and Ethan having had this weird hook-up with/confusing attraction to an incredibly creepy guy in the middle of an incredibly confusing day and while he thought his wife was dead, only to later discover that she’s alive? GOLD.

You don’t even necessarily have to wrap it all back around to a happy OT3 scenario. An Ethan who's struggling with Mia’s (actual) death, or even the realisation that he truly can’t deal with all her lies, all while telling himself Heisenberg’s just a rebound fling that doesn’t mean anything – that’s all the angst and pathos and opportunities for filthy smut you could ever ask for! Lean into it! Heck, the Duke tells Ethan outright that he can’t go back to his old life anymore – you could have Ethan decide his own status as a mould-creature makes him too dangerous to go back to Mia and Rose. More angst, more drama, more actual material for narrative conflict!

tl;dr: Write Mia off in a sentence, and not only have you made Ethan look like an asshole, you’ve made your story boring. And thus (thank you for bearing with me) ends my tangent about The State of Wintersberg Fandom, and why Mia deserves more love (from Ethan at least, even if the author can't completely bring themselves to join in).

Getting back to the real topic here: if you are up for letting your resolution involve an OT3 scenario, you’ve got some great options to play with.

Mia bossing the other two around is certainly an angle you could go for, but I think I’d prefer watching Mia and Heisenberg working together to drive Ethan out of his mind (not that options like these are ever mutually exclusive, mind!) But I’m broadly more interested in how you get these three together than what it would look like once they get there. In other words, it’s time to talk Mia and Heisenberg.

As I touched on above, these two do have more in common than it might look at a glance. They’ve both been infected by the mould, they’ve both spent years (or even decades) trapped in dysfunctional, cult-like, mould-controlled families, and had to bottle themselves up and hide behind a persona while working for truly terrible people. They’ve both done some truly terrible stuff themselves, probably watched even worse happen to other innocent people, and presumably internalised some pretty awful excuses for themselves along the way. They’re also both madly in love with Ethan (what, is anyone into wintersberg going to argue with me on that one?) In short, there is no lack of stuff for these two to bond over and find common ground.

I can’t see Mia being too hard to convince if Ethan does want to try an open relationship either. Heck, the first thing we ever see from Mia involves sending Ethan a message where she tries to let him go, because she doesn’t think she’s making it back alive. Her guilt throughout RE7 is palpable, and how much she loves Ethan is the same. I don’t think it’s any stretch to say Mia would be willing to contemplate almost anything if it would make Ethan happy (and frankly, she’s pulled enough shit herself in this relationship that she doesn’t get to get judgy anyhow).

That said, I do think she’d have reasonable concerns about Ethan’s new boyfriend being someone like Heisenberg, but then, he’s hardly any more dangerous than what Mia’s brought to the table herself. If anything, your bigger obstacle would be convincing Ethan that he’s sure enough about whatever’s going on with Heisenberg to admit it at all. But then, I don’t think getting Mia and Heisenberg involved with each other too would be too difficult either.

It doesn’t hurt that Mia has a lot of the same characteristics that probably draw Heisenberg to Ethan: a badass survivor, tough and determined enough to be a little sassy even in the face of danger, but still very vulnerably human underneath. That vulnerable side of Mia is a very important part of her to me – it’s the main aspect in play in the longest thing I’ve (yet) posted with any Mia/Heisenberg interaction, where she’s locked up in Miranda’s lab, and has no good reason to trust him. There’s nothing openly shippy going on in that story, though Heisenberg makes no bones about what he wants with her husband. I’m not sure exactly where things are headed in that universe, but you know there’s drama coming on in that front.

The main point there is that Mia’s not too badass to be intimated by Heisenberg, especially when she’s got her back up against the wall. Take them out of the village, though, and I can see Mia being a much tougher nut to crack.

Which is mostly my way of leading into mentioning that the longest thing I’ve written between them that I haven’t posted yet basically flips the previous scenario: instead of Heisenberg coming to tell Mia he’s after her husband, now it’s Mia coming to tell him she knows what he’s after, and he's about to receive some serious grilling about his intentions. What I realised in writing it was that somewhere in the middle of this conversation, Heisenberg goes from seeing Mia as an obstacle between him and Ethan to seeing her as a potential bonus. He’s impressed with her gall and starting to look at her in a whole new light. This is one ficbit that's definitely going places ‒ only problem being the usual one: I’ve still got to write the rest of the damn fic to get to that scene. (I’m working on it! But you know how it goes.)

That isn’t the only way I can see you getting the three of them together, of course. One interesting alternate possibility might be to suggest that Mia and Heisenberg have met before. Mia seems to have met Miranda (they’ve been photographed together, at least), and it’s not completely beyond the realms of possibility that Miranda might have brought along an ‘assistant’ (slash-bodyguard-slash-whatever else she thinks he’s useful for). And if she’s going to bring any of her ‘children’, Heisenberg is by far the best qualified to pass as normal, hilarious as that should be.

I don’t imagine either Heisenberg of Mia would be eager to admit any of their personal reservations about their respective ‘bosses’ to each other, meeting under circumstances like that. But the possibilities are intriguing nonetheless.

For complete AU territory, however, I don’t think you could find a better start point for an Ethan/Mia/Heisenberg scenario than to introduce Heisenberg as Mia’s ex. He’d be back in her life for Reasons, and Ethan would naturally be more than a little threatened by this huge, hot guy with history with his wife, little realising that Heisenberg’s as interested in Ethan as he is in rekindling anything with her.

Or for doing the whole thing on easy-mode, suppose Mia and Ethan have always been in an open relationship from the start – or that they’ve already had that conversation because Mia’s also in love with Zoe (I meant it when I said I ship them too!) Doesn’t mean there’s no angst or drama potential for Ethan getting involved with Heisenberg: he’s still going to be questioning what’s wrong with him that this guy is turning his crank, or whether it’s remotely appropriate for him to be seeing someone new while he’s got a six-month-old daughter at home. But if nothing else, I can promise you that having a third person around to babysit while Ethan’s ‘busy’ could only do good things for his sex life at this point. ;D

So, yeah – those would be My Thoughts On Mithanberg in a nutshell (or possibly more of a nut bowl, I can never resist the urge turn out a full essay on this stuff). If you’ve got any interest in writing mithanberg yourself, please do consider all these ideas free to a good home! Treating Mia better makes Ethan/Heisenberg better for me, and all those possibilities are right there to explore.

But to finish, have some more random Sims!

There are many more of these if anyone wants to see them, though most are less G-rated ‒ the friend running this household has installed ALL of the porn mods to enhance this little trainwreck.

(Also, before I'm done, just throwing a quick tag at @macgyvertape, since I had to screenshot their ask rather than reply 'officially' so I could reply to the both of them at once.)

[doorbloggr]

Nimona - Media Recommendations #48

Monday 31/7/23

Its been a long time since I've done one of these, but I promise you guys I like doing them. Thankfully I recently saw a movie that resonates very well with the core tumblr aesthetic, and now have an excuse to write on it.

Nimona (Movie)

The Pitch:

Nimona is an animated scifi/fantasy movie by Annapurna pictures based on a graphic novel of the same name. It is based in a very unique world that is at the same time cyber punk and feudal medieval; a civilization that has grown technologically and culturally around the values of chivalry to defend the people from unseen monsters beyond the city walls. A thousand years ago, a knight named Gloreth vanquished a horrifying demonic evil and instilled the virtues of protecting the good and pure into those who inherited the kingdom after her, and the Institute of Elite Knights, made up on descendents of the initial troop, control and protect the city today.

We follow the story of Ballister, the first commoner to be allowed to train to as a knight, and although he is scorned by many, his success would pave the way for more commoner born knights in the future. Due to conspirators that wish Ballister and what he represents to fail, he is embroiled in controversy and murder, making him enemy of the state. Ballister retreats into his lair and begins plotting how he could uncover the truth of his undoing, and put the spotlight on those actually responsible. There he is discovered by Nimona.

Nimona is a shapeshifting being, commonly appearing as a girl in her later teens, but she is comfortable in any form. As a shark, a rhinoceros, a wolf, a whale, and anything else her imagination can comprehend. Nimona knows how it feels to be hated as the world, labelled as a monster by society as a whole, and has embraced a villainous side, causing damage, mischief and fear wherever she goes. She wishes to work with Ballister as his sidekick and henchman, becoming the sword to deliver his strike of revenge.

Despite how Ballister has been treated, he wishes to get back at society still operating under a code of ethics and good, only endangering those who deserve it. No murder. But given how helpful and driven Nimona is, he agrees to work together to clear his name. What begins as a story of the mum friend trying to keep a gremlin on a leash, quickly changes into the tale of a bastard and their enabler. Their friendship blooms beautifully, and they become an unstoppable force. But will Ballister's history catch up with him? What is Nimona's deal, actually? I will not elaborate on the plot any further for fear of spoilers. Please watch for yourself.

As an Adaptation

Ok before I get into my ideas on the deeper meanings in Nimona, I wanna talk about the movie as an adaptation. The movie is based on a graphic novel that is a compilation of a webcomic by N.D. Stevenson, @gingerhaze on our very own Tumblr! And talking to a friend who has reread the novel recently, they agree that the story reads very differently as a long form story than what the movie presents.

While the movie keeps the characters, basic overview of setting, and the ultimate ending... it is a different type of story. As a webcomic, Nimona is a slow-burn slice of life at its conception. A lot of small cute moments that better work to build up the friendship between Ballister and Nimona. On a character level, it also leans more into scifi, as Ballister is introduced not only as a "villain", but also a mad scientist. When the plot is retroactively made deeper by backstories and greater focus on grander plothooks, this scientist vibe helps to build Ballister as an investigative genius to uncover how and why he was framed. Whole key plot points such as a secret government plot to hoard illicit substances are dropped altogether from the adaptation.

Enjoyers of the movie only will not have this same yearning for more of the original story, since the movie is such a good story in its own right, but for the those who enjoyed the webcomic, it is a long detective investigation plot that was turned into a heist movie. I don't want to complain, because its lucky we got the movie at all, but i feel it would've worked better as a 5-10 part episodic series. Nimona the movie takes the most core plot beats and character moments and turns them into an exhilarating story on a grand scale. It's a good story, just not the same.

My Thoughts: The Impact

Ok so, high fantasy sci-fi aside, Nimona is a story celebrating queer identity and those oppressed. At the heart of Ballister's turmoil is a gay romance with Ambrosius, the person who theoretically has the most to lose from his success. But Ambrosius is never turned completely against him, he more just wants to apprehend Ballister so he can understand what is happening. Ballister is also a outsider to the institute. An institute that for one reason or another wishes for him and the common folk he comes from to be kept down.

Then there's Nimona, a shapeshifter who expresses at several points in the story that transforming frees her, and that staying as a human girl pains her, almost like a suppression of her very life force. When asked, "What are you?", her most common answer is, "I'm Nimona". She is a being that shakes off all labels, and refuses to be categorised under any one idea. She's not just a girl, she's a shark, a rhinoceras, a dragon, and everything in between. I don't want to put my own labels on an intentionally labelless character, but this feels like an allegory for non-binary identity, or gender-fluid identity, or any identity where others struggle to understand you without static labels.

I want to acknowledge thar Nate Stevenson, the author, has come out as transmasc and bigender. So the importance of queer freedom is definitely a take away we should have here.

I feel Nimona is going to resonate well with queer audiences, because it tells a tale of struggle and oppression, and ultimately finding friendship and freedom. But even if you do not identify with any such identity, it is a beautiful, fun and quirky story of making the change you want to see in society, and finding your place in everything.

You NEED to watch, recommend and spread the love of Nimona, so we see more stories like it in the mainstream eye. Please reblog and pass this on, so others watch the movie. And give the webcomic some love while you're at it.

[the-tubort]

Since I've finished my first watch through of Kamen Rider OOO, I wanted to further elaborate on my Sentai AU I've been cooking in my head a bit

The basic premise is that 800 years ago, a kind and loving king ordered a group of alchemists to create a group of warriors who would not require the same human desires of his armies to better protect his country and his people. They would be completely selfless and courageous beings that lived solely for him and his people. The alchemists devised a system of 10 medals based on animals that would give them unique powers and abilities. The medals were divided into four categories: one Crown Medal and three sets of three medals representing various animals matching their class. The Crown Medals contain the most amount of power and granted them not only life but their desire to protect everyone. However, during their creation process, one Alchemist distorted the formula and stole the Crown Medals, creating incomplete and desireful beings.

They were called Greeeds, and due to their creation process being distorted, they could not fulfill their roles completely as intended. Rather than being completely selfless and heroic spirits, they craved to learn and understand what humanity was, and it felt like to experience the world in a more natural way, but due to their strict orders, they were unable to learn. The king grew tired of their desires and believed that he could better perform this duty and went mad with power as he left the Greeeds with only three medals and tried to absorb the rest, transforming him into a monster mad with desire.

The Greeeds knew that if he went out into the world unchecked that he would destroy everything and everyone and made the difficult choice to sacrifice themselves to seal him away.

Flash forward to present day (more like when OOO actually took place), and a museum exhibit opens up to the public showing off a myth from the past about creatures made of medals fighting against some kind of demon. A scientist approaches the slab and stares at it, whispering something about the promised day approaching while a nearby wanderer stares at the exhibit as well.

Thus, ends the prologue sort of for my AU. I have a LOT of thoughts for the characters and how the story changes and how Eiji, Hina, etc play a part in this story and I'll be happy to share them later but I just wanted this general backstory to be put first.

[paigelts05]

What are your theories on the Afton family? I share my main one

My main theory is that Vanessa might be Michael's daughter biologically because of the green eyes trait that female members of the Afton family have. I will be honest when I make theories about Video Game characters being biologically related to one and another I will use genetics to back up my theories

You have just unlocked the next Renegade AU Lore dump.

Renegade AU Lore Dump: The Afton Family.

TW: canon typical FNAF: Sister Location events (disembowelment, hanging as a murder method)

William Afton: William and Ina share a half sister (Will and Ina are not related, they just have someone who is related to each of them via one parent in common). Whilst he engages in some of the science side of Faz Ent, that is his wife's domain. He's more of the business guy; bring in the funding and laying out the field for research to take place. His stake in this whole deal is trying to find a secret to eternal life. It can be argued that he's found it seeing as he just doesn't die, but he wants what he inadvertently gave several of the Security Guards whom worked at Freddy's (several guards are possessed or died and were brought back OK). In chasing this immortal human form, he devises a plan to get in contact with his half sister, and ruin her half sister's descendants life in order to procure a suitable vessel for immortality and the supplies to make the process happen.

Adelaide Afton: Mrs Adelaide Afton, William's wife. Just as mad as her husband, Adelaide sees the pursuit of eternal life as the pursuit of eternal beauty. She has killed and tortured to further her research and has used many robotic forms and has possessed many humans to further her ends. Adelaide is the lead scientist at Fazbear Entertainment, and due to her love for her research, she was mostly absent at home. Died during her research into remnant during 1985 by getting hit with the scooper. Possessed Balora to continue her research (her will specifically stated instructions on how to ensure that she possessed Ballora). She is far better at pretending than her daughter, Elizabeth, to the point where her daughter didn't even know that the robot who kept on going back to the scooper was in fact Adelaide, invested in her experiments as per the course. Enard was a minor setback in her availability at her labs, but she was able to return soon enough. Over the course of her research from 1987 and beyond, she possessed many different robots; a Funtime Freddy in Circus Baby's Pizza World (got crushed in the caroucell), Molten Freddy, and later The Blob.

Elizabeth: Died to circus baby in 1983. After the Enard fiasco, Faz Ent found her and placed her in the Charlie replacement robot that Henry had left unfinished. After being defeated by Charlie's mutual destruction tactics (whom afterwards was taken to a non-Faz Ent lab and upgraded into an adult form), Faz Ent themselves picked up Elizabeth from the scene. Due to her damage, both physical and psychological, she resisted repairs and sorted her own, resulting in scrap baby. After 2004, she stuck around (and whilst mildly jealous was happy to see that 'Charlie 3' was still out there). Years later, she could just tell that remnant created from herself was being used, so went to investigate, and found that an adult woman was being frequently administered the substance against her will (apparent from said woman punching whomever shoved the needle into her in thier face). She possessed the woman to attempt to ease the hallucinations the woman was suffering, but remained dormant as to not interfere with her life. Possessing her did not help, but Liz found other ways to help; by giving this woman the ability to survive inhuman amounts of blood loss.

Michael: The older brother bully, yet it wasn't wholly his fault; he was raised by his father to be aggressive and ruthless. Much like how William instructed Vincent's parents to raise their children to be stone cold and emotionless, by the time he had his own, he opted to attempt to raise a more emotionally charged killer after seeing the flaws of that… previous experiment. Him shoving his brother into Fredbear's jaws was just a cog in a much greater machine. During October of 1987, he found a job opening at the rental and storage facility that housed the animatronics of Circus Baby's Pizza world. His colleagues were a duo named Morgan Smith and Oliver Rocha. Morgan always wore a mask covering the lower half of his face, fitted with a voice modulator no doubt as he was far too young for such a scratchy slimy voice; only someone else trying to mask their identity would pick such a voice. Oliver on the other hand fitted his mature voice quite well; this man hid nothing and had nothing to hide. He saw his colleagues hang in the galleries before getting disembowelled by the scooper; he was unaware that 'Morgan' and Oliver survived. In 1997, he found his way to Location: C. He took the night shift with Mike and took it as an opportunity to kidnap the other guard to try and replace him. It didn't work, and Mike escaped a few weeks after. Michael saw a connection between the the mute lady Morgan Schmidt (Mike's disguise that Mina helped him with to get Mike back home) and the technician he saw strung up in Ballora gallery, Morgan Smith. He didn't connect these dots until 1999 that both were Mike Schmidt. In 2004, when Faz Ent was trying to reboot itself with the entrepreneur kits, he found his way to Audery's second attempt and helped Henry burn the place down after she managed to get all of the animatronics in one place. Audery escaped. Michael's fate is much less clear.

Evan: Patient zero of the 1983-7 consciousness transfer experiments. The experiment was a success and he actually recovered from his coma, albeit not the same. With his consciousness having been tossed back and forth between a lobotomised body and a robot, several of his emotions were stunted to the point of no longer existing; fear being one of them. This lack of fear is how he was able to join the military as an adult. He died whilst deployed, but his ghost returned to America to keep an eye on his son and on the other Aftons. In 2021, he possessed Gregory as he could tell that the child was being used as a test subject from the remnant concentration in the kid's blood, but more notably, one of the kid's eyes.

Not related to the Aftons: This section covers characters who are not Aftons by any stretch, but at one point or another are mistaken for one or could be confused for one. Or are just unfortunately linked to the Aftons in other ways. Mostly for clearing up who are not Aftons though.

Mike Schmidt: Anyone who thinks Mike and Michael are the same are few and far between, and even then it's just people who met Michael once whilst he was trying to impersonate Mike (and failing at it, so confusion was easily cleaned up).

Sylvia Blake (Officer Vanessa): William Blake (Sylvia's father) and William Afton may have been buddies, but they were not the same man. Mr Blake was not an Afton by name or blood, but is good friends with Mr Afton.

Vanessa Diego (Vanny): Also not an Afton. Her gran's half sister (IE, Ina Diego's half sister) was a result of Vanessa's great grandmother getting with William's dad (so William has a half sister who is Ina's half sister), but none of Ina, Joy, nor Ness are related to the Aftons in any way other than "Ina's mum banged William's dad and the result is an arsonist who keeps trying to ruin our lives". William keeps trying to make her his replacement body, and Execs treat her like she's William 2.0. A very defiant William 2.0 who does not want to be William 2.0, but the Execs insist that Vanessa Diego is an Afton when she is not.

Non Faz-Ent scientists: Not all scientists are Faz Ent. Plenty of them are independent or work for other less shitty companies and don't transfer kids minds into robots for a living. It just happens that the visible majority of scientists who don't also have another job are of Faz Ent origin, and it's those guys that keep making the news with a new kind of murder machine, which paints the rest of the community in a bad light and rightfully pisses off all the non Faz-Ent scientists.

[mizakikimoto]

These floors are still not completely clean. It's not my house, or home (so I don't care). But this is the filth I've been living with for decades. Constant sinus issues. Definitely a part of all the sickness I feel.

In all the places I've slept these nearly two years...same issue, to worse and better degrees.

I haven't had access to honest cleanliness in so long.

I miss walking barefoot, and not having to wash my hands all the time, and like...not having to go on a scavenger hunt to find things. And like...breathing better, and not having constantly clogged ears.

I miss having a life, and not having the police called on me for just trying to get help. Even the police understood that the call was unneeded. But that's what happens when you try to get too close to these segregation lovers.

And I understand why some people don't make the effort to try to cross over. Because this shit happens. And it's not about "race", not alone. But it's a part of the reactions people have towards me.

I guess this is a part of growing pains.

I try to make a joke about things. I try to keep my head up. But constantly being called slurs without hearing them...it takes a toll. Keeping your anger at a certain limit takes a toll too.

Why do I have to always have to be the bigger person over life and death issues? Why do I always have to be the "smart one"? Why am I always knowing better?

Why this article? Because sometimes people are seen as crazy when they make total sense. Sometimes it really is you vs "everyone".

I know the truth. I've known. I know exactly why I haven't been able to get help in 23 years. And all that.

This has nothing to do with "giftedness". And...I can't wait to stop swearing, but...

Sometimes the people who are seen as smart, who think they're smart...are completely fucking stupid.

And the lost time sucks...

But...

In the end, hopefully soon, I'll be validated. Even if it's just one person for now.

These delusions...it doesn't matter that so many people have them.

(These pictures are from a couple of hours ago).

-Chris

[garbage-connoisseur]

Konga

Konga is a 1961 British King Kong knock-off starring the gorilla suit of famous gorilla actor George Barrows, but not Barrows himself as they were too cheap to fly him to England to work, instead finding a no-name actor that just happened to fit inside of the suit instead.

I was recommended this movie for an ape-themed movie night, where we ended up watching three other great movies instead (well, two awful movies and Link), and had been told that this one came highly recommended by a regular at my local video store who was really into monkey flicks.

First a content warning though. The protagonist of this movie is a massive bastard, who over the course of the movie kills a cat (not shown on screen, but the corpse of a cat puppet is), grooms a student, attempts a sexual assault and is in general a bit of a racist misogynist scumbag. I will not be showing anything graphic related to that in this post though.

The movie starts out with what appears to be a plane crash, but which we must conclude is actually a flying car, on account of the size of the explosion and how cars are famously the single most explosive thing in all of cinema.

The sole survivor of the crash turns out to be Dr. Charles Decker, a botanist with a massive ego, who turns up one year later after surviving in the Ugandan jungle thanks to being found by a chimpanzee that guided him to a local tribe, where he stole the knowledge of their witch doctor. Ooops, did I say "stole"? I meant "discovered". With this newfound knowledge of some of the local fauna he returns to Essex to revolutionize Botany and possibly more nefarious things.

Charles Decker is played by Michael Gough whom most of you will recognize as Alfred from the Burton/Schumacher Batman movies. In Konga he gives it his all and just exudes massive ham energy in every scene he is in.

Charles builds a new garden in his greenhouse containing carnivorous plants containing some kind of human elements that he plans to use in his research into increasing growth in both plants and animals, creating an all new garden of genetically modified plants.

Charles is creating a serum made up of the human-compatible plant genetic material combined with some zombie-herbs that will make injected animals grow huge in size and become susceptible to his control through hypnosis, and he of course plans to test this out on... Konga, the baby chimpanzee that saved his life. God, what a piece of shit.

To test out if he can control Konga, Charles orders him to go murder the Dean of Essex College where he works, who had accused him of being a madman and to maybe take a break and get better, which is obviously indefensible. Charles? Mad? Off you go Konga!

The bobbies are completely stumped by this murder, and remain stumped even after Charles Decker throws a party and invites another scientist working in the same field who he realizes might be unto the same findings as himself and might even be able to publish first. Now, Charles is a reasonable scientist, easily able to put aside his emotions in the name of science.

So obviously he handles things remarkably well...

Luckily Charles is convinced that he has left absolutely no clues that he has been behind the murders of these two people that he met up with within a few hours of their violent deaths...

Anyways, Charles has a thing for one of his students, and the entire class can tell, especially the student's boyfriend, who confronts him and tells him to keep it at a student-teacher relationship and nothing more.

Again the bobbies are completely clueless, and Charles decides that the best way to avoid raising suspicion is to invite the dead boy's girlfriend over for dinner, and to offer a shoulder to cry on, which is totally normal guys.

Now, Charles has an accomplice, his housekeeper and assistant Margaret who has repeatedly made him aware that she is into him, and has managed to make him promise to marry her in order to keep quiet about all the murders. Margaret may be a victim of sunk cost fallacy and a terrible taste in men, but she is not dumb, and she immediately realizes that Charles is making eyes at his student, and always intended to have her replaced.

Meanwhile Charles is busy explaining to the student how there is an evolutionary link between vegetables and animal life; that the key to all life lies in the cell, and that he has trained cells to perform miracles of biological engineering in cytoplasm, which when injected into the circulatory system has human properties that will speed up cell division by stimulating the centrosomes causing sudden massive growth. This seems wrong, but I don't know enough about biology to dispute it.

Margaret decides to try and re-hypnotise Konga to obey her, and also to give him a massive injection of the remaining serum. This mostly backfires on everyone involved.

Konga decides to go for a walk and to bring his good friend Charles, who like Margaret mysteriously seems to turn into a puppet sometimes.

And finally we get a climatic end at the closest thing London had to a skyscraper in 1960.

All in all I found this to be a quite fun watch if you can look past the fact that Konga is barely in the movie at all, and can only be called a dai kaiju in the lest ten minutes or so - and that the central protagonist is just such a massive creep throughout the entire movie. Yikes.

Really funny how both this and yesterday's movie turned out to be about pseudoscience on how to bridge the gap between plants and animals.

[chaosnojutsu]

the math checks out, just trust me and go with me here:

- we saw [redacted] die a pointless death in the fourth shinobi war

- we didn’t see his body after he “died.” we only saw his grave episodes later. there is a distinction. habeas corpus bitch.

- we also know that someone got themselves into a sticky situation with Konoha after the war’s end; being a literal war criminal will do that to you

- so now that someone is being kept under tight surveillance… but is also being kept in one of their state of the art laboratories, where they are allowed to freely conduct whatever experiments they want

- experiments like, i dunno, creating human beings from scratch. human beings capable of sustaining life on their own, of being functioning members of society, even of being shinobi

- and we have proof [Mitsuki & Log] that said experiments work

- if life can be artificially created, it can also be artificially sustained. i feel like that’s a fair and direct line to draw.

- so remember that pointless “death” i mentioned earlier. what if [redacted] didn’t *actually* die

- what if someone has been keeping him alive all these years in their lab. an ace up their sleeve, if you will.

- because being a war criminal and all, it’s not easy to make reparations with everyone. maybe they don’t even want to make reparations with everyone... but it would be excellent if they could get a kage in their corner. preferably the hokage since they’re from the leaf, anyway

- and what better way to win the favor of the newest hokage than by miraculously bringing his (now) brother in law “back from the dead” without having to reanimate him

- plus, think of the scientific advantages here. this theoretical mad scientist tried so hard to get their hands on a sharingan for so long. that didn’t end so well. but a different legendary visual jutsu… that might yield better results. so would having a willing participant who isn’t out for blood or incredible power of their own.

- no curse marks this time, obviously. security is too tight for this hypothetical scientist character to get away with doing anything like that. but maybe if they offered some other sort of incentive? “now that you can function independently, i’ll let you return to the village if you keep me updated on international affairs and my child’s progress as a ninja” type beat? that just might work.

- and just when all hope seems lost, just when it seems like the ootsutsuki might win, another one of their descendants crawls out of the woodworks— out of a lab, rather, with a renowned visual prowess and other weird but powerful stat boosters thanks to science— and shows those aliens exactly why they never should have messed with the hidden leaf

- this would help the scientist regain some respect and credibility as a trustworthy person within the community and bring (back) a beloved character to the main story

- this is all crack based on nothing but my own hopes and dreams. do not come at me with facts <3

- if you have masashi kishimoto’s phone number please dm me

[suginami-division]

Shuu’s Thoughts on Shinagawa Division

Ritsuko Okada

“Hm! A scientist for Chuuoku again? I guess she isn’t a runaway crazy lady, so Ritsuko-chan loses thrill points for that! She still has some points for giving mad scientist vibes, but that’s really all she has going for her. Her clothing is pretty plain, which makes her boring! Spice up your wardrobe or hire my services and maybe I’ll throw in some more compliments for you, Ritsuko-chan!”

“Now I the person who Ramu-chan was talking to on the phone better… What’s their connection, I wonder?”

Miho Kobayashi

“Ah, Kobayashi! I had a job where I had to… Uhm… Well, I guess now’s the time to come clean? I got hired by some company to try and find some dirt on her for whatever reason. And really, outside of her connection to Chuuoku, she was pretty squeaky clean in terms of her life! The client was upset with my lack of findings and kicked me away, but hey, I got paid and little Miss Kobayashi didn’t get her reputation ruined right? Right???”

“I hope she didn’t end up getting blackmailed or got her name put in some gossip article later. It was a thing that just happened years ago, so don’t get mad at me! I didn’t think I’d have to meet so many clients and suspects in this silly competition!”

Sumire Shinomiya

“What a chaotic, goth look… I might be in love with her style~!”

“So far, Sumire-chan wins in the fashion competition for the team! Outside of it? Well… I guess I can’t say much about her. I’m not a really too good at hacking. I’m more of a ‘look at your social media history’ hacker, which doesn’t really take any actual skill. Oh, but maybe Kao-chan knows her though? Maybe they’re enemies?! Edogawa’s hacker versus Shinagawa’s hacker! Who’s the best hacker-er in Japan?!”

CodeX

“Chuuoku loves to just keep putting their evil science teams into the battlefield, don’t they? But when you say it out loud, an army of scientists doesn’t exactly strike fear into you…”

“Not that it matters! What matters is, can we beat this team? Personally I… Have some doubts. I’m sorry, but they seem a bit more stronger than we are! They’ve been in the competition for awhile and we’re still new! Babies, even! So really, we’d have to be lucky to beat them now. Maybe later, we can have a more fair fight. Please?”

[peterrparrkerr]

Hit mad falls in love with target - read on ao3

*-*

Peter waved frantically at Tony when he walked into the lab, eyes glued to a computer screen.

"Tony, quick! Look!" He demanded, nearly vibrating in his chair.

Tony made his way over, hands clasped behind his back as he leaned over Peter's shoulder.

"Isn't it awesome?" The young man asked, waving his hands around.

"What am I looking at?" Tony asked.

"Its cancer," Peter said. He points to different colored lines in the graph, all jagged and fluctuating. "This is breast cancer, and this one is pancreatic, skin, lung."

Tony hums as Peter continues to list each colored line as a different form of cancer.

"I was able to isolate the individual cells from everything else, and- look, look!"

Peter snatches Tony by the shirt sleeve and tugs him from one monitor to the one on the other side of the lab. He taps his fingers on the screen, bouncing on his heels.

"These are the cells after being treated with non-radioactive therapy," Peter said, looking up at Tony. "The number of cancer cells is cut in half within a week!"

Peter then drags Tony across the lab again, babbling excitedly as he does so. "Do you know what this means? This means we can start human testing! And we can market the treatment for practically nothing!"

He shows Tony a live feed of the treatment in action from a TV monitor.

"Think about the possibilities," Peter grinned. "Anyone can get treated, no matter their financial standing. And the treatment isn't as harmful as chemo or radiation. It doesn't attack the body as a whole, it isolates the cancer cells and leaves the rest of the body alone.

"No more hair loss or side effects. And we could cut remission in half too," Peter said. "Just think, this time next year, we could start selling to hospitals all over the world."

Tony smiles down at the younger man. He had known within the first day of meeting Peter that he wouldn't be able to follow through. He's glad he hadn't.

"Have you told anybody else?" He asks casually.

"Ned knows," Peter said. "And Bruce, but they were here when it happened."

"Where are they now?"

Peter gives Tony a wry smile, still too excited about his treatment working.

"I sent them home a couple hours ago," he said. "We've all been awake for almost three days, so I'm sure they've gone to bed already."

"You should be in bed too, don't you think?" Tony asked, raising an eyebrow.

Peter waves him off, shaking his head as he goes to his work desk. "I'll sleep later," he said, pulling his lab coat off and draping it over the chair.

He's dressed in his usual outfit; comfortable pants and a button up.

"Plus, I knew you'd make your rounds around this time, and I wanted to tell you," Peter said with a grin, grabbing his personal items.

That was part of Tony's cover. A janitor for the building Peter worked for. Hes wearing a navy blue jump suit, though he's left the cart out in the hallway.

"I'll walk you to your car," Tony hums, leading the way out. When he'd first started this, he'd offered his company to get closer to Peter -to find his vulnerabilities.

Now though, he does it because he's protecting the young scientist.

He'd skipped out with 45 thousand dollars paid to kill the boy, but as the days had gone on, and Peter had grown comfortable with him, Tony realized he couldn't steal him from the world.

Peter was incredible. He worked tirelessly to find a cure for cancer. He's already created a new insulin for diabetes that he's made available to everyone for only $10 a month -something not many other medical professionals liked.

Peter was making enemies left and right, and Tony decided to make it his job to keep him breathing. If not for the rest of his life, then for as long as it takes for the young scientist to see an end to cancer.

The boy wasn't getting much in terms of money for his creations. In fact, from what Tony's come to learn, the boy doesn't own a car, and rents an apartment with his aunt. 

He sees enough to live paycheck to paycheck and this new treatment won't do much to better his life, but he's not concerned with money. He wants to make Healthcare more effective and affordable.

Tony's got morals. Enough of them to know when a hit is a bad investment. That didn't stop him from taking his payment anyway.

The two make it to the car park. Its dark, the overhead lights buzzing annoyingly. Its empty, save for a couple cars belonging to a few of the security guards, and the car Peter shares with his aunt.

It's an older model, grey paint chipping and metal beneath rusting near the wheels. Peter talks animatedly beside him, lands flailing in front of him.

Tony glances around them, scowling as he takes in the familiar cement structure.

"Wait," Tony says, just as Peter's pulling the keys from his pocket. They're a couple feet away from the car, and the hairs on Tony's arms and neck stand on end.

"What is it?" Peter asked curiously, reaching for the door handle.

It's just as Peter grips the handle that Tony sees the wire connected to the metal lock on the other side of the glass.

Tony is quick to react, grabbing Peter by the arms and wrenching him away from the door.

Peter yelps in surprise, but its cut out by the sound of a small explosion. Tony braces for the blast of air that knocks the two off their feet, and grits his teeth at the heat that follows.

Peter's pressed against the cement, Tony weighing down on him. His ears ring, but he quickly gets to his feet, unzipping his jumpsuit and grabbing the .9 mm from the waistband of his jeans.

The car is ablaze, crackle-popping and sizzling. Its just the cab thats on fire, but Tony knows its only a matter of seconds before the flames reach the engine and the fuel line.

Tony looks around him, trying to find the culprit -though he knows from experience that the man won't be here.

He grabs Peter by the armpits and pulls him to his feet. Blood smears against his forehead and jaw. His hands and arms are scraped up and Tony can tell his knees are busted too, but it doesn't look like anything damaging.

"We gotta go," Tony urges, already half dragging the younger back towards the building.

"You-you have a gun," Peter gapes, stumbling after Tony, arm in the older's hard grip. "Why do you have a gun?"

Tony reaches the door for the stairwell.

"I'm a hired gun," Tony said, glancing up, then down, gun following his eyeline before pushing Peter towards the stairs going up.

"I thought you were a janitor," Peter gasped, climbing the stairs and swaying. Tony places his free hand on Peter's lower back.

"Thats just a front," Tony confessed. "We got to get you out of here."

"Someone blew up my car," Peter said, panting as they continue up to the first floor. "Aunt May is gonna kill me."

"Not if Buck doesn't kill you first," Tony grunted, pulling Peter out of the stairwell and into the main lobby.

Tony's car is around the side of the building, but its open to attack. Tony can't keep Peter trapped inside the building though, so he risks it.

Their feet slap loudly on the asphalt as they run for the nondescript black SUV Tony had taken to driving.

He checks around the vehicle, under and inside before issuing Peter into the back seat.

Tires screech as Tony peels out of the parking lot.

"What- whats happening? Tony, what- why do-"

"Someones trying to kill you, Peter," Tony said, blowing past the guard tower at the exit of the parking lot.

"But why?" Peter asked dumbly, voice slurring slightly as more blood turns the side of his face crimson.

"I'll answer all your questions when we're safe," Tony promised, eyes frantically shifting from the area ahead of him to the rear view mirror.

Peter must really be feeling the effects of his head slamming into the concrete, because he doesn't protest.

"Lay down," Tony orders, merging into traffic and slowing down. "Lay low until I say."

Peter does -Tony thinks mostly because of his head injury. Tony relaxes a little, knowing the scientist won't be gunned down in the back seat.

"Where are you taking me?"

"Somewhere safe," Tony answered, keeping an eye behind him.

He doesn't see a tail, but he takes a round-about way to his safe house, just outside of Queens.

When they get to the small cabin, Tony checks the building before helping Peter inside.

"I think I have a concussion," Peter mumbles, swaying on his feet as Tony guides him to the kitchen chair.

"I don't doubt it," Tony agrees, setting his gun down on the table beside Peter's elbow before grabbing the first aid kit.

He pulls another chair over in front of the young scientist and opens the red box.

"Let me see your hands," Tony orders. Peter does, palms up. Tony begins to clean them and his arms.

"Tony," Peter says, breaking the silence. Tony doesn't say anything. He reaches up to clean the blood from the side of Peter's cheek.

"Is your name actually Tony?"

Tony makes eye contact before nodding.

"And you're a hired gun?" Peter asks, slightly breathless. "Like, like a hitman?"

"Yes," Tony answers, reaching the cut on Peter's hairline. Peter winces, but doesn't pull away.

"You kill people for a living?"

"Yes."

It takes Peter a couple seconds, but it seems to hit him. Hes bolting to his feet, the chair clattering behind him.

Tony leans back into the chair, watching as Peter begins to pace.

"What- Tony, you have to tell me whats going on," Peter demands, hand on his head. Tony knows from experience that pacing tends to help the scientist expell excess energy.

"I will," Tony nods. Peter continues his pacing. Back and forth beside the kitchen counter.

"Why- why are people trying to kill me?" He demanded. "Who blew up my car?"

Tony sets the paper towels down on the table, knowing Peter won't sit still for him to properly tend to him.

"The one who blew up your car is another hitman," Tony said. "Goes by the name Winter Soldier."

"You called him Buck," Peter said, pointing an accusatory finger at Tony, eyes narrowed.

"I did," Tony nodded. "Hitmen tend to run in the same circles, though we don't always like each other. Bucky was probably hired to finish the job."

"Finish the job," Peter repeated dumbly. "I'm the job?"

Tony nods, once more letting Peter process. He knew Peter would figure it out without Tony's help. He was smart.

"Finish the job means someone already tried to- to kill me," Peter said, panting as he continued to pace. The wound at his hairline is bleeding sluggishly, dripping down his temple and towards his jaw.

Peter wipes at it without thought, smearing blood against his cheek. He pauses to look down at his hand, fingers glistening in red.

He touches his forehead again, as if remembering he's still injured, then turns to Tony, accusation and fear in his Bambi brown eyes.

"You," he said softly, in disbelief. "You were hired to kill me, weren't you."

"I was," Tony nodded.

"But you haven't," Peter said. Tony can practically see the gears turning behind his eyes. "And, and now whoever hired you hired the Winter Soldier."

Tony only nods. Peter takes a shuddering inhale and has to grip the counter with a bloody hand to stabilize himself.

"I'm- I'm- who- who would want to-to kill me?!"

"The payment was anonymous," Tony said. "Thats how it works. But whoever it is is threatened by you."

Peter looks at Tony incredulously. "Me? Why me? I'm the least threatening person -like- ever!"

"You've cost Big Pharma millions with your insulin," Tony said. "You've patented it, so they can't take it and upcharge the way they've been doing. And if your treatment for cancer is a success, you'd be costing them even more."

Peter takes a moment to process that before he nods. "Right, yeah. I knew I was going to make a lot of people mad about that, but. But I never expected anyone to actually try to kill me."

"Money is a powerful motive," Tony said, a little too much experience leaking into his tone.

Peter hears it, because he stops his pacing, shoulders dropping. Exhaustion seems to pull him towards the floor like an anvil tied to his spine.

He sways a little, and Tony's about to offer him the chair again, but he moves to it willingly. When he sits, their knees are barely touching, and he blinks dazedly at his bloody hand.

Tony grabs a clean rag and leans forward to clean up the blood from Peter's head. The younger lets him, still processing and no doubt sluggish from the concussion.

"Why didn't you?" Peter asked after Tony had taped gauze to his hairline. It was patchy and poorly done, but it would help.

"Why didn't I what," Tony hummed, using an alcoholic wet wipe to clean the remaining blood from Peter's hands. The boy winces at the burn to his scraped palms.

"Kill me," he said, swallowing thickly. "You had plenty of opportunity."

Tony sighed, setting the wipes down before leaning forward and looking Peter in the eye.

"Because I believe in the work you're doing," he said honestly. "And I'm going to make sure you finish it."

Peter blinks once, twice, before breaking eye contact and sighing, body eating to melt into the chair as the air leaves his lungs.

"Come on," Tony said, standing up and slipping the gun into the waistband of his pants. Then offering his hand. "This place is safe. Theres a bed you can sleep in."

"I shouldn't sleep with a concussion," Peter said weakly, taking Tony's offered hand anyway.

"Its mild, I'm sure you'll be fine," Tony mused, heading deeper into the cabin to the bedroom.

The bedroom isn't anything special. A twin bed in the corner, a four drawer dresser and a blackout curtain.

Peter climbs onto the bed, not bothering with the covers or taking his shoes off. Tony thinks its best he sleep with them on anyway, in case Bucky finds them.

Tony moves to leave, grabbing the handle, and Peter bolts upright again, eyes wide.

"You're okay," Tony promises. "I'll be right outside."

Peter gives the barest shake of his head. "Stay here, please," he says softly.

Tony nods, shutting the door and turning off the light before making his way to the side of the bed. Theres an old step stool there, and he sits down at the head of the bed.

Peter lays back down, body too tense to ever fall asleep. Tony keeps his ears attuned to any noise that could alert him to Bucky, or anyone else, gun sitting perfectly stop on his knee, finger off the trigger, but ready at a moments notice.

"Tony?"

"Yes, Peter."

Peter shuffles around, and Tony turns his head just in time to feel pillow soft lips connect with the corner of his mouth.

He can't help but smirk as Peter settles back down. "Thanks for not killing me."

Tony chuckles at that, leaning his head against the wall. "I may be a hitman, but I've got morals," he says into the dark room. "Besides, nobody likes cancer."

Peter laughs tiredly at that before reaching his hand out and grabbing Tony's. Their fingers interlock, and Tony doesn't really know which one of them initiated it.

"You're going to be okay," Tony continued. "I wont let anyone hurt you. You're safe with me."

"I know."

[just-dreaming-marvel]

It’s Always Been You ~ 143

OUT OF TIME MASTERLIST

IT’S ALWAYS BEEN YOU MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 3,600ish

Summary: Surprisingly, more secrets come out. A final plan is formed.

Notes: Please read the ending note. You must read Out Of Time in order to understand this. The chapter numbers continue from Out Of Time. (gifs aren’t mine)

“She’s not the only one whose kept secrets, Steve,” Natasha said, once Y/N was clearly gone. “We all have.”

“This is different,” Steve argued, mad. “This has to do with half the universe turning into dust and the man who did it. She should have told us so that we could have—“

“Done what, Steve?!” Tony retorted. “Spent the past five years planning and waiting for something to happen?! That’s not a way to live! I know that because I’ve lived that! I’ve tried to do that!” Tony took a deep breath, trying to calm himself as he backed away from everyone. “I may be the only one who feels this way, but I wouldn’t change the last five years. Yes, I miss people terribly and feel the guilt of what happened constantly. But I finally have the family I’ve always longed for. I have a daughter who is my whole world, and a wife who fights for what she loves.” 

“Her telling us everything wouldn’t have changed when Scott came back or when I put the pieces together about time travel,” Tony continued. “Keeping that a secret didn’t change anything.”

“Tony’s right,” Clint spoke up. “It wouldn’t have changed anything.”

Tony and Clint nodded at each other. Tony knew it had to be hard for Clint to admit that, especially since he had lost his whole family. Steve clenched his jaw, frustrated.

“Steve,” Natasha called calmly, “have you ever thought about how many times you get angry at Y/N for keeping things from you?”

“I don’t understand what that has to do with anything,” Steve said.

“You freak and turn around and blame everything on her. Maybe she doesn’t tell you things because she knows that you won’t react in the best way. And you doubt her, so much.”

“How is this now about me?”

“I’m sorry, isn’t everything?” Tony retorted. The two men glared at each other in silence for a moment, the tension getting thick. “I’m going to go check on my wife.”

~~~

“Hey Pepper,” Y/N greeted, video calling her friend. 

“Hey Y/N,” Pepper replied. 

“Is Morgan up?”

“I’m sorry, I put her to bed already.”

“That’s okay.”

“Is something wrong though? You seem a little down.”

“I just… can you poke me in there for a second? I just need to see her.”

“Of course.” Pepper began heading to Morgan’s room. “She really misses you guys.”

“We miss her too.”

Pepper quietly opened Morgan’s door and reached her hand in so that Y/N could see the little girl on the phone. Morgan was sound asleep, clinging onto the Iron Man stuffy that Tony had bought her. Y/N’s eyes slowly filled with tears as she longed to hold her child.

“Thank you, Pep,” Y/N said softly. 

“Of course,” the woman replied.

“Tell her we’ll call her tomorrow. And that we love her.”

“Y/N, what’s up?”

“This is all just getting more real. And I don’t want something to happen with Morgan knowing her parents love her.”

“Nothing’s going to happen. You and Tony are going to be fine.”

Y/N gave her friend a tight lipped smile, clearly not believable. “Thanks for taking care of her for us, Pep. Good night.”

Y/N sighed after hanging up, leaning back against the headboard. She closed her eyes and sucked in her lips. She had never missed her abilities more in the last five years, then at this very moment. She wished she could simply portal herself home, to hold her child. But Y/N couldn’t, and she knew she needed to stay at the compound and finish out the mission. No matter the cost.

“Are you okay?” Tony’s voice was quiet as he leaned in the doorway, worried eyes raking over his wife.

“I’m fine,” she answered, not bothering to open her eyes.

Tony sighed before he walked over and sat himself on the bed. He made sure he wasn’t touching her, not wanting to press. “I let Steve have it after you left. It wasn’t right for him to do that. Red even had my back.” Y/N didn’t respond. “Honey… I’m sorry.” He set a comforting hand on her leg. “I know that I’ve pushed you in the past for not saying anything. But I’m beginning to see the weight that the Stones have placed on you. I’m so sorry.”

“He will never understand,” Y/N breathed out quietly. “He hasn’t been able to since he came out of the ice… I lived 5 years with believing he was dead. I changed in that time and he has never been able to accept that… but doesn’t make it hurt any less. He��s still my twin…” Y/N finally opened her eyes and met Tony’s. She reached out and took his hand from her leg. “Thank you,” she whispered. “For standing with me.”

“I made vows to do so. I never intend on breaking them.” 

She pulled him closer to her. She wrapped herself around him, earning a light chuckle. 

“Can we stay like this the rest of the night?” She whispered.

“Of course,” Tony answered, kissing her hairline. “We can stay like this as long as you like.”

~~~

In the morning, the couple ate breakfast in bed before venturing out to face the rest of the group. Everyone was seemingly trying to act normal, but Steve. Every time he glanced Y/N’s way, it was harsh. Cold and unforgiving. Tony kept himself at Y/N’s side as the group began going over the Tesseract.

“Our first major run in with the Tesseract, or Space Stone, was back in the 40’s,” Steve explained. He was standing in front of everyone, pictures, videos and information were playing on the screens behind him. “HYDRA’s then leader, Red Skull, was using it to create mass energy weapons. Y/N and I were on Red Skull’s plane when it took off to bomb major cities around the world.” Steve looked at Y/N. “Would you like to tell the rest of it?”

She pursed her lips, trying to keep her emotions in check. “Sure.” She stood up and went to the front of the room. “As Steve said, we were in the ship. I was trying to get to the controls and the Tesseract, when it could knocked loose. It portaled Red Skull away. I…” Y/N paused with a sigh. She hadn’t recounted this story since she woke up. “I grabbed the cube as it fell, burning my hand. Dropping it, it burned a hole in the floor causing both myself and the cube to fall. I grabbed onto it as a fell…” Y/N looked down at her scarred hand, rubbing it nervously. “Howard Stark later found it in his search for Steve and I.”

“After that, it was in SHIELD’s hands,” Y/N continued. “And, from what Carol has added to the record, a scientist who was trying to save the Skrull species. From their Fury began tests on it and began making weapons of his own. That’s how the Battle of New York started… Being control by the Mind Stone himself, Loki came and took the Tesseract. He used it to open a giant portal, letting the Chitauri army through.” 

More video footage began being played of that day behind her. The all watched, with those who were there remembering the day like it was yesterday.

“How long did you fight these guys?” Rocket asked.

“About, uh, two or three hours,” Natasha responded. She looked at Tony who nodded along in agreement.

“The Chitauri are the suckiest army in the galaxy. Why didn’t you just blow up the mothership?”

“We didn’t know that was a thing,” Steve said.

“You didn’t know that was a thing?” Rocket laughed. Tony stood up from his seat, shaver in hand. (He was shaving as he was listening.) He went up behind Rocket and shaved some of his hair on top of his head. “Everyone knows— Hey!”

“There we go,” Tony said. “All better.”

“Tony was the one to send the missile up through the portal, successfully destroying the mother ship,” Y/N explained. “I closed the portal.” She looked at Tony, who met her eyes. “Luckily, we all came out of it alive.”

“Not all of us,” Clint commented. “We lost a good one that day. Phil Coulson.”

“Yeah… about that… Fury actually brought him back to life.”

“What?!” Natasha, Clint, Thor, and Steve exclaimed. The four quickly noticed at Bruce and Tony weren’t phased.

“Did you two know about this?” Natasha asked.

“Yes,” Bruce answered, “but only because it was vital. We were helping Skye—“

“Daisy,” Tony and Y/N corrected together.

“—and Y/N with their new found powers. Phil was a big part in that.”

“Those missions… that base you would talk about… SHIELD suddenly resurfacing,” Steve mumbled, putting the pieces together. “You leaving to save your Team… You kept SHIELD and Coulson alive, right under our noses.”

“Again, I was only doing what was right,” Y/N defended herself. “We saved the world countless more times than anyone even realized, including the other heroes in this room…. Coulson’s team is the reason we found Loki’s scepter. And in Sokovia, the helicarrier Fury brought was from Coulson. He had found it and patched it back together.”

“Sif,” Thor whispered. “She was so very vague about the two times she was down here.”

“She was keeping the secret. If people knew that Coulson was alive, it would have changed the game.”

“How did he survive?” Natasha asked.

“It was called the TAHITI Program. Fury directed Coulson to head it. It was meant for a fall of an Avenger. To bring them back if anything were to happen in battle. After years of trials, it was disbanded. The side affects were awful… but then Coulson died. And Fury couldn’t accept that.”

“Who else knew?” Steve asked.

“Besides Fury, Tony, Bruce, Sif, and myself,  Maria Hill, our SHIELD teams, and many government officials worldwide. Including President Ellis.”

Steve scoffed. “All the secrets,” he muttered, shaking his head. “This is getting ridiculous.”

“Where is Phil now?” Natasha asked. “Did he survive?”

“He died right before the Blip,” Y/N answered. “Complications from the TAHITI Program and other things that had happened… Please don’t be angry. I understand that it seems like I’ve kept some big things from everyone. But you have to try and understand it from my point of view.”

Everyone was silent, not knowing what to say. Y/N stood in the front of the room, preparing for the attack on her. But it never came. Steve stormed out and the others from the original team followed, including Tony and Bruce. Y/N closed her eyes, trying to keep herself calm.

“I know that I’m new here and don’t know much,” Scott said, standing up to go to Y/N. “But I know that you have a good heart. And that you were only trying to protect everyone.”

She looked at him with a tight-lipped smile. “Thank you, Scott.”

~~~

“It’s just one thing after another with her!” Steve exclaimed. “Is everything a lie? It’s like I don’t even know who she is anymore!”

“Steve, I think we need to stay calm and look at this from her said,” Natasha said. “She has been trying to protect everyone, except herself. The whole time she was going from fight to fight without much of a break.”

“It’s true,” Tony agreed. “I personally witnessed the wear and tear it did to her.”

“When she got shot after SHIELD fell, was that because of Coulson?” Steve asked, marching up to Tony.

“It wasn’t because of Coulson. It was because someone on her team ended up being HYDRA.”

Steve ran a hand down her face. “I don’t know where the lies stop and the truth begins.”

“She never actually lied to you,” Natasha brought up. “She told you what she could and kept the rest to herself. To protect everyone.”

“She still should have told us about Coulson,” Clint spoke up. “He was important to all of us.”

“Coulson and Fury specifically instructed her that the team not know,” Tony explained. “She actually got in trouble for telling me and Bruce.”

“But again we had to know,” Bruce said. “Y/N and Skye—“

“Daisy.”

“—had suddenly gained powers. If anyone was going to be able to help them, it was going to be us.”

“I need some time to think,” Steve said, walking away.

“We really shouldn’t be focusing on this right now,” Bruce sighed, shaking his head. “We should be focusing on the Stones. What Y/N kept from us is not the priority.”

“As long as she tells us any other information that could be of use to us,” Natasha said. 

“She will,” Tony promised.

“I can’t imagine she’s taking this well,” Clint mentioned.

“She’s not really showing very much, trying to keep it all in. But I don’t blame her. Steve’s been going after her since he got out of the ice.”

“It’s hurting both of them,” Natasha said. “It’s like they want it to be how is was before the ice. Yet, they both have changed.”

“I don’t think Steve’s willing to see it the most,” Bruce added. “It’s going to tear them apart when we need them to work together the most right now.”

“Together, they can be one of the best teams.”

Tony sighed. “Let’s finish getting the information on the Stones. Then we can worry about the rest of it.”

~~~

They all gathered back together to go over more about the Stones. They finished all the new on the Tesseract and Space Stone before moving to the Mind Stone. It was hard to talk about that one, since Vision was a big part of it.

“Where’s Vision now?” Scott asked.

“We brought him back to the Compound, but the Accords and his own will forced us to give his body to an organization called SWORD,” Natasha explained. “They were forced to dismantle him because of the Accords.”

“We were too late in getting him to Wakanda,” Bruce explained. “So there was no way to bring him back without the Stone.”

“Hopefully that the only permanent casualty we take from all this,” Tony commented, bringing Y/N closer to his side.

“That wasn’t the only life lost,” Nebula said. “My sister, Gamora, she died too.”

They took on the Soul Stone next. There was very little information on it besides what Y/N and Nebula knew.

“Thanos found the Soul Stone on Vormir,” Nebula explained.

“What is Vormir?” Natasha asked, taking notes.

“A dominion of death, at the very center of Celestial existence. It’s where… Thanos murdered my sister.”

Everyone sat there awkwardly, and saddened. Not knowing what to say or do.

“Not it,” Scott said, breaking the awkward silence.

“Y/N,” Steve called, in this stern Captain voice. “Do you know anything about the Soul Stone that could possibly help us?”

“I know that it is a very power Stone in its own right. With it I was able to conjure the spiritual representation of those who are dead.”

“What?” A few gasped. Tony reached over and grabbed her hand.

“I saw…” She paused, swallowing her emotions down. “I saw my unborn son, AJ, my parents, and Phil Coulson.”

“Our parents?” Steve questioned. Y/N responded with a simple nod. “How could you not tell me?”

“At the time we weren’t talking, and it never came up later.”

“I can’t—“

“Guys,” Natasha stood up in the middle, placing herself between the siblings. “Stop fighting. We have something bigger we need to focus on, and if you can’t see that you both can leave.”

“I’m not the one with the problem,” Steve growled.

Holding the tip of her tongue between her teeth, she silently watched Steve. She was trying to put her thoughts together when Tony decided to speak up.

“Seriously, Rogers, cut the bullshit,” Tony said. “I get you’re probably hurt that she never told you anything. But that doesn’t give you the right to make her your personal emotional punching bag. Crap happened and she didn’t tell you, but she’s telling you now.”

“You know…” Y/N began slowly. “I miss the days when it was you, Bucky, and I against the world. Just like you do. The days you trusted me and didn’t doubt me, no matter what… you blame this all on me, Steve? Fine! But communication is a two way street. Just remember that. I’m not the only one that’s kept secrets. Like the one about Howard and Bucky.” That left Steve silent. “I’ll be in the other room, trying to put a plan together if anyone needs me.” She left.

“Go work out some energy, Steve,” Natasha suggested. “We’ll take it from here.”

~~~

Tony found Y/N laying on a table with FRIDAY talking to her about the Time Stone.

“Mute,” Tony ordered, coming into the room.

“If you’re here to talk about Steve, I’m not listening,” Y/N responded, looking at the ceiling.

“I figured. That’s why I came to join you and help.” Tony leaned over Y/N and gently kissed her.

“Uh, guys,” Bruce broke in before the couple could get heated. They turned to see Bruce and Nat standing in the doorway. “We just came to see if you needed any help. Everyone else needed a break.”

“Help would be great,” Y/N responded.

Tony crawled up onto the table, sitting by Y/N, while Y/N sat up. Bruce and Nat came in further and the four of them began going through everything they knew about the Time Stone and trying to form the most logical plan to collect the Stones. After of few hours of nothing coming together, Tony and Y/N were back laying on the table. Bruce was laying on the floor with Natasha leaned up against him.

“That Time Stone guy…” Natasha began again.

“Doctor Strange,” Bruce corrected.

“Yeah, what kind of doctor was he?”

“Ear-nose-throat meets rabbit from a hat,” Tony answered, spinning his glasses in one hand while rubbing his eyes.

“Something neuro,” Y/N clarified.

“Nice place in the village, though,” Bruce added.

“Yeah,” Tony agreed. “Sullivan Street.”

“Hmmm… Bleecker.”

“Wait, he lived in New York?” Natasha wondered.

“No. He lived in Toronto,” Tony scoffed. “Were you even paying attention?”

“Guys, if you pick the right year, there are three Stones in New York.”

Bruce sat up in surprise saying, “Shut the front door.”

~~~

The team was quickly gathered and Y/N explained the best points for them to go.

“Okay, we will retrieve the Soul and Power Stones in space 2014; the Reality Stone on Asgard in 2013; and the Space, Mind, and Time Stones in New York City in 2012,” she told them, pulling the information up on the screens. 

“Now all we need are to assign the teams,” Tony stated. 

“I’ve sketched out a plan and would like to get everyone’s opinions.” 

They all glanced Steve’s way, waiting for the Captain to say something. He simply glared, arms crossed over his chest.

“Shoot,” Clint encouraged, when Steve didn’t speak up.

“So, due to certain knowledge of events, I believe that we need to try and stick to our own timelines, even though it could be dangerous,” Y/N explained. “We know our own timelines best. Where to avoid, where the Stones would be found, all that jazz. With that in mind, I was thinking Thor would go to Asgard, Rocket and Nebula would go to space, and the rest of us would go to New York.”

“The teams need to be evened out,” Steve spoke up, not impressed.

“I was just getting to that. I was going to see if anyone was going to volunteer to retrieve any of the Stones. I believe we need at least two people on each mission. And remember, the space mission is actually two separate missions.”

“I’ll go with Thor,” Rocket offered. “I think I could probably help the best there.”

“Thank you Rocket.”

“I can go with Nebula,” Rhodey said. “I’m not familiar with any of the spots, so I might as well.” Y/N nodded in agreement, making a note of it.”

“I should stay in 2012,” Tony said. “Being back in the Tower, I might have to break into JARVIS.”

“Agreed,” Y/N.

“I’ll stay in 2012 as well,” Steve said. “I also think Scott could be a good asset with us as well.”

“Sounds great,” Scott nodded along.

“Bruce, I was thinking that you and I could go and speak to the Ancient One and get the Time Stone,” Y/N suggested. “I have a feeling it will take some convincing to take the Stone from her.”

“Okay,” Bruce agreed.

“That leaves Clint and Natasha. Since you guys are a good team, how do you feel about hitting up Vormir for the Soul Stone?”

The two looked at each other and nodded, before looking back at Y/N.

“We can do that,” Clint said.

“Awesome,” Y/N responded. “Now we just need specifics for each mission. Break off into teams and use the information to create a specific plan.”

Everyone split off and created plans for their team. Coming back together, each plan was explained.

“Alright,” Steve claimed the attention once the final plan was laid out, “we have a plan. Six Stones, three teams. One shot. Take the night to get things together and rest, we’ll meet up and head out in the morning.”

next chapter >

I know that this fighting and secrets thing is probably annoying, but I promise there is a point to it. Please be patient with me. Thank you.

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[shadowhuntertrash]

tlh gang as funny first modern day impressions for @serene-victory-77

alastair - the first time alastair meets christopher he’s confused as to if he likes this kid or if he is annoyed. he meets him in their chemistry class. he goes through school with his head down because honestly he was really only there for good grades. when he was partnered with the infamous christopher herondale (yes his names was well known around school) he was slightly scared. christopher comes up to his table with a smile on his face and his goggles slight askew on his face. alastair is already leaning toward quirkily adorable. from the stories he’d heard christopher had a bit of a mad scientist rep, so he was happily surprised when christopher was less of a mad scientist and more of an evil genius. he did the experiment perfectly and then much to alastair’s horror, continued without any directions, going purely off his knowledge of the chemicals. when christopher was done he’d made a much more complicated version of the solution they were making and alastair was very thoroughly impressed. the teacher on the other hand, was not. they both got in trouble but alastair found he didn’t mind much. from then on out they were lab partners no matter what and it was quickly becoming alastair’s favorite class.

cordelia - the first time cordelia meets eugenia she thinks she is so badass. here’s this girl who could literally not give less of a fuck what anyone things about her. she has long curly hair that is either always down or put up into a messy bun. cordelia is slightly star struck by this girl who has just plopped herself down next to her in her ap calculus class. eugenia seems to bring a storm with her wherever she goes and immediately draws all eyes toward her. when cordelia looks at her eugenia just winks and crosses her ankles before leaning in slightly to ask if she has a spare pencil she could borrow. they became fast friends which surprised cordelia but literally no one else. they are very different but similar at the same time. cordelia is a badass but she is less obvious about it. she’s kind when she can be whereas eugenia doesn’t really stop to give anyone a chance to catch up with her unless she gets a good energy from them.

lucie - the first time lucie meets matthew is when he comes over to their house to hang out with james for the first time. at first he seems incredibly polite. he greets tessa and will with utmost grace and respect but lucie can tell it’s unusual from the way james’s face scrunches up in his tell tale expression of shock. she finds it amusing and decides to follow them for a while, matthew catches on quickly but instead of telling james they had a tag along he simply winks at lucie and pretends to lock his mouth and throw the key. she decides immediately that she likes this one. when they get to the indoor pool the first thing matthew does is push james into the pool. lucie couldn’t help but laugh which gave her away but when james went to tell her off and to get lost matthew pouts at james and said in an obnoxiously whiny voice, “jamie, let her hang out for a bit.” james turned to him and lucie was amazed to find them in a seemingly silent conversation before matthew smiled triumphantly and james groaned throwing himself back into the water as matthew gestured for lucie to come swim with them. lucie decides then and there that matthew by far her favorite of james’s friends he’s had over so far.

matthew - the first time matthew meets james is at detention. it would have been at debate but he had missed the first meeting for the club because his teacher had held him back to redo an activity he’d done completely wrong. he’d gotten detention that same period for disrupting the class (which was completely unnfair, he had just forgotten to take his adhd medicine so he was more restless than normal. when he walked into detention that afternoon there was only two other people there, neither of which he recognized. the teacher that was trapped into watching them was actually one of matthew’s favorite teachers, mr. lightwood (gideon lightwood, not to be confused with his brother gabriel who also taught there). about ten minutes into detention the door opened and one of the most attractive people matthew had ever seen in his entire life strolled through the door with a lopsided smile. mr. lightwood looked up and upon realizing who was there sighed heftily and shook his head. “again, james?” james just smirked wider and shook out his curly black hair, matthew’s stomach was doing a weird flip thing. ‘uncle gid, it really wasn’t my fault. the debate teacher just wasn’t seeing my side of the debate. he said my ideas were ‘crude and unnecessary’ but he was the one who asked what my opinion on dorian gray was. it really wasn’t my fault if she didn’t want a ‘mature’ opinion she shouldn’t have asked about a ‘mature’ topic.” mr. gideon simply shook his head but he was hiding a rather obvious smile. “go sit down, james.” with a confident smile he strolled over to where matthew was seated and turned to him with an outreached hand. up close matthew realized with another jolt to his stomach that james’s eyes were golden. “james, james herondale.” he said when matthew gripped his hand. matthew smiled widely. “matthew, matthew fairchild. i think we’re going to be good friends.”

thomas - the first time thomas meets alastair is his freshman year of high school. thomas will forever remember it vividly because alastair was the first person to really help him around school. he was so lost and he didn’t have anyone he knew so when this junior stepped up to show him around it was pretty cool. he was thoroughly embarrassed though because not only was this guy very very attractive but his friends were laughing at him. well not him, but thomas. alastair had waved them off and told him not to worry about them. he showed thomas to his classes and the main areas such as the library and the cafeteria. it was the first interaction of many but there were a few years until the next one. thomas never forgot his kindness and how he went out of the way to help the new kid, alastair never forgot either but for him it was more of a distant memory, the second time they met was the first meeting that left him with a lasting feeling.

james - the first time james meets jesse is when he comes to pick lucie up for a date. his immediate reaction is to evaluate if he is a good person and if he was good enough for his little sister. he held himself with an odd mixture of confidence and uncertainty. james had stood in the study with jesse for a while waiting for lucie to come down. jesse was fidgeting a lot which james recognized as anxiety which he himself had. he was slightly reassured by the fact that jesse was nervous. they were never really close nor did they ever become very close, seeing as james was practically always waiting for jesse to mess up or hurt his sister in some way. it lessened as time passed and jesse proved himself worthy in james’s eyes.

jesse - the first time jesse meets lucie it’s right in the middle of an epiphany in a story she’s writing. she’s been in a slump with really bad writers block for about a week so she can’t help her excitement when she finally has a breakthrough. jesse was sent by a professor (well professor herondale aka tessa the english professor aka lucie’s mom) to find her in the library to pass on a message and when he stumbles across a girl furiously tapping away on a laptop with a mad smile on her face and two pencils holding her hair up he is immediately enraptured. he goes to let her know her mom is looking for her but she simply tsks him and informs him that she simply cannot be disturbed and when he asks why she launches into a complicated plotline and jesse is so mesmerized that he can’t help but sit down and listen to an hour long rant about her novel and the characters. he misses his next to classes but if you ask him it was so so worth it. he soon becomes her person to rant to about intricately woven story lines and he can’t argue one bit. he was smitten from the first tsk.

christopher - the first time christopher meets cordelia he blows her up. well, nearly. he was experimenting and she happened to walk in right as his solution went awry. she had screamed loudly, more so from being startled than from injury but christopher had still rushed over to her and made sure she was unharmed. when he made sure that she was truly okay he apologized profusely and explained what he was doing and what he did wrong. she seemed genuinely interested which christopher immediately appreciated and he found he quite liked this girl. she was kind and smiled and asked questions when she was curious. there was no better way to get to his heart than by asking about his experiments (well, besides lemon tarts). every time they ended up staying for science after school he never failed to update her on his latest invention or experiment and she never failed to be attentive and curious. they worked surprisingly well together.

kamala - the first time kamala meets thomas is when she meets eugenia (her girlfriends) family. thomas was kind and the longer they talked the more he smiled and looked at her with an approving look. she had taken a liking to him almost immediately and had spent most of their time talking until eugenia interrupted claiming thomas was stealing her girlfriend to which thomas scoffed and rolled his eyes saying that there was no chance of that happening. kamala hadn’t understood the actual meaning of that until later to which she laughed until tears sprang to her eyes. eugenia’s entire family was kind and accepting but she knew she’d always have a soft spot for thomas and she did. she was always there for him and he, her. he became a brother she had always wanted and never gotten to truly have. eugenia complained but she couldn’t be happier with the outcome. 

eugenia - the first time eugenia meets grace she thinks she’s cold. she always has a careless and intimidating resting face and very rarely speaks to anyone as if they’re worth her time. eugenia’s blind reaction to having her on the cheerleading squad was not a good one and she worked her pretty hard until they finally talked and eugenia learned why she had so many walls up and why she was so cold. it took a while to unravel the mystery of grace blackthorn but they ended up being surprisingly good friends, especially considering they were both close to kamala. kamala being one of grace’s closest friends and eugenia's girlfriend.

grace - the first time grace met kamala she was in the locker room the cheerleaders shared with the dance team. grace had just gotten off a particularly cruel phone call with her mother and was trying her best to keep her composure but it was quickly slipping through her fingers. her throat was hurting from the strain of not crying and her eyes were burning suspiciously. she cleared her throat a few times in the empty locker room and almost jumped out of her skin when a girl poked her head around the corner with a concerned tilt to her lips. she had a kind face and it barely took a quiet, “are you okay?” for grace to break down completely. the girl had walked over quietly and bent down to grace’s level. grace wasn’t sure why but she felt like she had known this girl for a long time, it was a feeling of pure trust she had never felt before. there was something so calming about kamala, as she had introduced herself, that she found herself spilling things she’d never told anyone else. there was a lot left unsaid but enough was said for kamala to comfort her enough to get her to calm down. there was something so trust worthy about her that she found herself in the same situation a few more times in the weeks to come until they started to talk with no tears. it was definitely an odd friendship but they both valued it a lot.

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

just because you’re afraid it doesn’t mean you’re broken.

Titans 3.05

once more into the cold dark void of the internet with my stream-of-consciousness take on a superhero tv show...

spoilers ahead.

1. i cannot believe that among the first things i get to hear in this episode with my own two ears is the line 'eluded our overdudes'. why must you give me such pain along with so much joy, show?

1.5. scarecrow stringing jason along on this path to red-hood-dom is not something i would’ve ever expected, but does kind of make sense. 

1.55. i don’t know all the details of the original resurrection arc in the comics but i like that jason, weirdly, has a greater role to play in his own demise and rebirth? i think it makes it easier to draw a line between his past trauma, the demonstrably shitty and terrifying responsibility of being robin, the ways bruce and the titans wronged him, his responses to that, the reasons he turns to scarecrow, and his final evolution to red hood. it makes for a smoother character arc rather than a one that was interrupted for two decades before somebody went oh hey let’s resurrect that kid that the audience once voted to kill and make him an anti-hero!

1.75. what’s crane giving him? anti fear toxin? anyway, crane is a fucking creep and i’m not sure i want to see a whole lot of him on my screen.

2. oh, um, heads up: there’s a long sequence of unsteady cam + flickering lights right after the title card upto the 3:16 mark. it’s a bit headache-inducing so if you want to skip, you can go ahead and do that. 

2.45. that’s... weird... why would he dream about... donna...

ok, who am i kidding. i’m going to jump right into my theory about Why Titans Makes Sense Actually because the show itself is apparently not interested in explaining itself:

a) it makes no sense for jason to be conjuring up donna--who famously did not care much for him!--in his dreams. (he wasn’t even there when she died.) or for her to be telling him don’t go or there’s still time.

b) this leads me to think that that’s actually donna, in some sort of limbo between life and death, the kind of place where jericho used to be

c) rachel has demonstrated that she has the power to link the minds of the titans across great distances--she called jason and hank/dawn for help in 2.01, she linked up everybody later in the season, projected dick’s hallucination of his father into their brains without even realising she was doing it, and in the finale, she managed to get dick into conner’s brain. she’s in themyscira now. is this how she gets donna back to life? but reaching out to her in that non-space between life and death?

d) the next obvious question is: why isn’t donna appearing in the dreams of the other titans? she probably is, but they have better reason to be dreaming about her since they were actually close to her, unlike jason.

e) but why would she warn jason in particular? does she foresee jason entering the afterlife--however briefly? does she have an idea of what jason plans to do and what he will become?

f) anyway, more trippy mindscapes and weird psychic powers, yay!

2.5. my heart clenched when bruce comforted jason post-nightmare: clearly i’ve been reading way too much batfam fic. this is a side of bruce we haven’t really been told to expect by all the characters on the show calling him a ‘psychopath’ (*cough*unreliablenarrators*cough*) and him getting jason to speak to a professional speaks volumes about the kind of self-reflection he’s done post dick’s departure, and maybe some of the regrets he has with regards to how he dealt with dick’s traumas.

i mean, just look at him when jason dismisses his concerns! BRUCE IS TRYING JASON

anyway, i have a whole lot more i want to say about this, but i’ll save it for later. 

also: LESLIE THOMPKINS!!!!

3. i really like molly--and i love that she’s a friend from before jason got taken in by bruce, the implication that they meet up regularly and that she’s a grounding influence on him (tho clearly not grounding enough to not go along with his dumbass idea about confronting a child trafficker alone). 

3.5. aw, jason. robin was his armour against everything in the world that would throw him down and chew him to bits, but san francisco proved that even robin wasn’t enough to protect him. it’s really interesting how ‘disillusionment with the idea of robin’ is so integral to the traumas of both dick and jason but in such different ways. 

4. LESLIE!!!!!!! i even forgive her office being so goddamn blue because leslie! 

4.5. it makes so much sense for titans!verse leslie to be a therapist, because this show is so inward looking anyway, and therapist sessions are a useful tool to showcase this character work in a story. besides, at least in fanfic, leslie often seems to double up as a counsellor anyway. 

4.6. oh man. i’m not terribly convinced by walters’ red hood (tho i think that may be the point--argh. i’ll come back to this thought later. have to stop getting distracted!) but he plays the asshole kid that’s trying not to let any real emotion seep through really well.

“you’d like me to punch you, wouldn’t you”

5. not sure what to think of batman’s little trophy case other than the show winking unsubtly at us and going look look - catwoman! the riddler! two face! you excited yet?! it’s like the scene from the end of amazing spiderman 2 when they were trying to drum up excitement for a sinister six spinoff by having harry osborne walk by a bunch of display cases with stuff from iconic villains in them.

... but then again, bruce does like to display a lot of shit in his batcave, including his dead robin’s bloodstained costume, so.

5.5. bruce is so soft with jason it’s killing me. beyond just trying to learn from his mistakes with dick, it speaks to his own genuine desire to balance his dedication to gotham with doing the best by his sons, although he’s often not successful with that. 

i love that titans is really playing the long game with bruce wayne, with each season and character-perspective sliding in fresh pieces of a bigger puzzle. titans’ bruce has always been a phantom of other peoples’ making, but now we’re getting the idea that he’s a whole lot more complicated than other people make it seem.

5.75. it really recontextualises some of his actions from previous seasons: the fact that he locked dick out of his security systems in 1.06 is likely his way of respecting dick’s independence and his desire not to be associated with batman/gotham anymore. jason knowing about bruce’s tracker while dick doesn’t is probably bruce trying to be more honest and upfront with his charges. bruce sending jason packing off to sanfran to spend time with the titans is probably not him passing on a big responsibility to dick (as i first uncharitably thought) but him trying to get jason out of the toxic influence of gotham for a while and a sign of his trust in dick as a leader and a mentor,

5.8. i mean, bruce is a prick, but he’s also human.

6. i think leslie is doing some good work with jason here, though she may have overstepped the line with her line about robin as a construct being projected by a man with BPD. her speculations about bruce’s diagnosis have no place in her session with jason, and if bruce confides in her, an egregious violation of patient-therapist confidentiality. 

(about the diagnosis itself... i don’t know. i can’t really confirm or refute this without a whole lot more information, and i’m not sure if the writer of this episode means BPD in the same way an actual professional might.)

6.5. i think a huge thing that gets missed out in a lot of recent comics as well as movies/shows is that bruce didn’t create the robin persona out of whole cloth. dick did. he’s the starting point of that legacy and to call it entirely bruce’s creation is blatant erasure of that. in fact, i’m surprised that dick doesn’t feature more in the conversations they’re having about the pressures of being robin. after all, the guy had been robin--bruce’s partner--for such a long time before jason. 

6.8. (and here’s the primal part of me that resonates the deepest with dick grayson--the Eldest Daughter part--that’s sort of resentful: that jason gets the therapy and softness and the learning from mistakes when it took years and years for bruce to reach out in any meaningful way to dick.)

7. oooh that was a great scene!

it’s fun to do these stream-of-consciousness live reactions, because the moment you step down from your soapbox, the episode goes right into tackling what you were just complaining about. bruce means well, he’s learning, but he goes about exactly the wrong way to help jason: taking away robin now can’t be read by jason as anything but a devastating judgment call from bruce. and iain glen really sells the moment that bruce realises this--too late--and his helplessness in trying to get jason to see that it isn’t jason’s fault that he’s trying to do this. he loves jason enough that jason is enough. 

7.5. aaaah so jason brings up the elephant in the room at last. dick got everything makes sense from his perspective, where getting to put on a costume and fight crime means approval, means being something stronger and better than you are. dick got to be robin, then nightwing, and a leader of a whole team of other costume-clad heroes. 

8. ... how did jason just walk into arkham????? this is ridiculous.

8.3. i mean, clearly jason’s not thinking straight, but betraying batman like this puts his possibilities of being robin again even further away. 

8.5. watching that chemistry experiment montage was strangely funny. this guy is looking for an antidote to fear? well, constantly mixing up and inhaling gases concocted by a mad-scientist supervillain is something only the very fearless--reckless to the point of foolishness!--would do. what’s to say crane’s not given you a formula for a drug that will keep you tethered to his every will and whim? hmmmm?

8.7. so he sought out the joker to... test the formula??? 

9. wow the “loud and clear... boss” hits different after a whole episode of them referring to each other as father and son.

9.3. waitwaitwait HOLD UP. wait a DANG MINUTE. you’re telling me that scarecrow had enough resources that he could not only have folks on the outside steal jason away and dunk him in a lazarus pit (i TOLD you that this show would bring up and dismiss ra’s al ghul in a ten second aside! I TOLD YOU) but also have his own little chemistry lab in the basement, AND have enough resources for jason to build his red hood persona???????? all of this in barely twenty four hours?

well there goes my ‘jason orchestrated his death’ theory. it was nice while it lasted. *cups hands to the sky* fly away, my baby.

9.6. a part of me is gleeful at the rushed nature of such an iconic transformation though, especially when compared to all the character work that went before it. we’re so used to getting the opposite that it’s fucking delightful to have a show that’s more interested in exploring its characters’ minds rather than battle scenes or recreating transformations from the comics. that’s taken such bold and exciting steps to fully convey all the nuances of its most recognisable character, bruce wayne, from casting an older actor to play him to unflinchingly showing just how damaging the vigilante lifestyle has been to him and the people he loves. BRILLIANT

*sporfle*

10. again, heads up: a whole lot of flashing lights between 40:28 and 42:00. 

10.3. i guess it’s the super-compressed timeline that’s really throwing me off. where did he have the time to get/develop the mind control thing from? or is it something that he got from the cabal of villains that he intimidated at the beginning of 3.02? very messy.

10.5. i love molly, i hope she shows up again this season.

11. aaaand that’s it! that was a solid episode as flashback episodes go, but now i can’t wait to return to the present.

[ktheist]

pretty girls don’t get hurt | m

synopsis. your mom has been asking you for a grandchild - not even a son-in-law but the baby to said nonexistent son-in-law! and your dad is hitting an age where he can barely work anymore. at some point you’re going to take over his position as the chairman of the family hospital but you know nothing about medicine. that’s where kim seokjin comes in. he’ll marry you and become the chairman so you can keep your ceo position and you’ll get a child out of him too. it’s like killing two birds with one stone.

except there’s one problem: you’ve never met the man and you need him to agree to the marriage first. okay, make that two problems.

muses. heir!doctor!seokjin x heiress!ceo!reader x best friend!heir!taehyung

words. 15.6k

contents. slowburn. sexual tension. impregnation kink. daddy/older men kink. viagra is involved lmao. 

warnings. matured content.

verse. knj. myg. kth. pjm. jjk. jhs. story time.

x

“you want my what?”

seokjin’s jaw hangs loose, brows coming together in a show of frustrated bewilderment. it’s tells you enough that he heard you the first time but then again, you’re not asking him for dinner. you’re asking him for-

“your hand in marriage.” glossed lips curl upwards underneath the pristine white cup of hot coffee from the vending machine.

you watch as his widened eyes narrow. lips smack together and finally anger settles in the muscles of his hardening expression. “you’re joking.”

it’s understandable that he’d feel offended. even more so when it’s coming from a stranger who strode right into his office and introduced herself as the chairman’s daughter - the ceo. that’s probably the only reason he agreed to spare you his time - and you’re spending it for this.

it’d be a lie if you say you weren’t surprised that he didn’t know the ceo of the hospital he’s working at but judging from the way he treats you, like he has better things to do - lives to save, you know he’s that type of person. the mad scientist version of a doctor. doesn’t attend annual dinners. doesn’t take off days. he’s perfect.

“dad’s getting old and he needs someone to succeed him but i don’t know anything about medicine - i’m more of a businesswoman and the board wants someone of a clinical background to continue the tradition. if it were up to me, medical expenses would be much higher per patient but i’m also not a capitalist so i need someone on the field to tell me how things are at the hospital so we don’t overcharge nor do we undercharge.”

his eye is twitching at the end of your words and his jaw is clenched in suppression of agitation. at this point, you’re going to have to keep it short so not to drop the whole bomb on him before he himself explodes. “so how bout it? you marry me and become the next chairman and i’ll take care of all the non-clinical related matters. if you were to decline... i can’t guarantee things will remain the same after dad retires.”

“my break is over. it’s nice meeting you miss ___ but i hope we don’t run into each other again.” the chair screeches backwards when he stands up abruptly before you can even finish your sentence. he didn’t even check the time when he swipes his phone off the table and slips it right into his pocket. his words are as clear as day: this is the first and last time we meet.

“you still have ten more minutes, doctor kim.” for some reason he hasn’t stormed off - dare you say, he’s even taking what you said seriously - good. because you’re not here for a laugh either. you meet his heated gaze with ease. “i’m not sure you understand but you’re the cinderella and i’m the prince charming.”

you take out a single midnight scented card and slide it over to seokjin. “and this is a proposal, not a blackmail. call me when you’re ready to talk about the terms for the prenup.”

x

it’s been a week since you left your card with seokjin.

now, sitting in your office, the scene keeps replaying in your mind like a broken record. a scream erupts in the otherwise pleasantly silent room as you slump in your seat, hands digging into your hair as though if you rub your head hard enough, the memories would fade away. “taehyung, how did i even get that confidence? a prenup? he didn’t even say yes!”

the aforementioned man spares you a glance from the couch he’s lying on before going back to typing away on his phone. it’s probably yuju - one of his recent acquaintances. if you remember correctly, she’s the daughter of sbs’ ceo.

“boys are simple minded beings, give it another day and he’ll call you.” he casually assures, this time not even look away from his phone.

the sleek back hair and black button down underneath seokjin’s white coat flashes at the back of your mind. you don’t see that many doctors wearing something that needs ironing to work that often. sure there’s a dress code but your dad isn’t strict about it - all that mattered to him is the quality of one’s work. for all he cares, these doctors can come to work in pj’s. it’s you that had to make sure they don’t come in pj’s. collared t-shirts are acceptable. so are sneakers instead of heeled shoes. but kim seokjin was nothing less of button down, a well made tie and polished black shoes.

it shows that-

“he’s a man, not a boy.”

this time, taehyung’s fingers freeze on the screen before he turns his cheeks to you with an unfazed expression - as though he’d expected this but still got disappointed when he hears it. “so it’s his age? you wanna marry him because he’s nine years older than you?”

there’s something about the way he singles out the reason you decided it was seokjin, that makes you look away in shame. but you still force out a laugh in a last ditch attempt to brush it off but it sounds awkward in every octave. “ha ha ha ha what are you talking about? he’s the most eligible marriage prospect - that’s why.”

“there’s another one.” he points out. still unconvinced, “that suho guy - he’s also a fellow. also an only child-”

you speak over him,“-but his background is so-so. civil servant parents. went to an ordinary school. you think he’ll adapt to the pressure as quick as seokjin?” suho’s smiling picture peeks from underneath the documents you’d been reviewing before the flashback of your bold proposal comes and haunt you. it’s his resume along with every physician working at the hospital for more than eight years, that you’d obtained from your dad’s secretary. “you know whoever becomes my husband and assume the chairman position is gonna get chewed out alive by the board. it has to be him - it has to be seokjin.”

a sigh echoes from somewhere across from you as taehyung sits up, brows furrowed together as he rubs his head as if it’ll make the the problem go away. “yeah, but he left the social scene a decade ago. you think he’ll walk back in just like that?”

“his records have been nothing but remarkable. he sticks around and works overtime. he’s been one of the most consistent physicians that worked on every holidays. doesn’t take off days. basically a workaholic who loves his job way too much - he doesn’t need to enter the social scene. not when i’m his wife.” a grin spreads across your face by the end of it - all this time, you’d been reading the report about him but once you’ve actually put it in words, the chances of him saying yes seems to sound more real, “he’s gonna keep working as the chairman and ignore anything the board says. he’s perfect.”

“yeah, okay let’s say he is perfect and there’s no reason for him to say no except one,” taehyung pauses for a more dramatic effect, lips twitching upwards slyly as if he knows it’s already got you on the edge of your seat, “what if he has a girlfriend he wants to marry?”

and that’s when your world comes crashing down like waves against the rocks but you don’t like the smug look on taehyung’s face, “yeah but with his schedule, it doesn’t seem like he has one.”

“you never know - they could very well be living together. plus, it’s not like he has to report his dating life to the hospital and he seems like a private enough man to keep it on the low even from his colleagues.”

his words are barely registering but the longer the second stretches on with your thoughts running wild, the faster your heart seems to race. but one thing’s for sure. taehyung’s here because you’re supposed to be discussing the partnership.

“if you’re not gonna talk about work, then get out.” your eye visibly twitches - all of a sudden your best friend since you were in diapers’ presence serves more as a nuisance than a blessing.

“you’re mad, aren’t you?” a grin spreads across his lips before he bursts into laughter - he’s the only person that would laugh in the face of death, “man you’re full of ego - i guess you should be. i mean, if all else fails, he might just say yes because of your face, right, sparky?”

he’s using that nickname he used to call you when you were kids. your love - or as taehyung would put it, obsession for shines and sparkles in diamonds peaked at the age of ten thanks to your mom’s hobby of collecting dimes. she’d sold everything off after she got bored of them and needed space for the arts she bought - her new found hobby. but you remained true to your love for diamonds and symbol of riches and bought half of her collection.

over time, he starts using it less and less and only for reasons to get a rise out of you. where did that cute boy who called you sparky because he thought you were as pretty as the diamonds, go?

all he is now is a devil incarnate. with that height and silly grin of his, he easily antagonize you. and you always give in. 

“you’re supposed to be on my side and give me assurance!” you toss a balled up paper, aiming right in his face but instead of hitting the mark, he easily catches it.

“how’s this for assurance? you’re only gonna hurt yourself if you throw a ball like that.” he picks his blazer off the handrest and makes a beeline for the door when he senses the smoke coming out of your ears, “i’m late for my date, see you later!”

x

it’s exactly fifteen hours later that you receive a call from seokjin.

instead of meeting up at the cafeteria, he’d directed you to flower child, one of the most coveted fine dining restaurants in seoul two days after the call. it turns out he’d made a reservation - and you’re no fool to the long waiting line to get a table. he must’ve booked it some time after your first meeting.

he’s made some effort into putting on a black blazer and matching pants. hair styled to perfection. he may have cut his family off but he hasn’t completely abandoned the way he lived up till a decade ago. you allow yourself to check him out once - when he’d stood up at your arrival and pushed the chair for you.

thankfully, you’re not too underdressed. a creme blouse and grey pencil skirt suit any kind of formal setting.

“have you thought about what you want to include in the prenup?” you ask after the server leaves with your order.

seokjin seems more collected this time. or maybe it’s the incense and dimmed lighting that gives off a more suitable atmosphere to talk about marriage.

either way, you don’t expect the man to chuckle - a short, wistful one. as though he truly, honestly believes- “why would you want to marry an old man like me?”

you know what he’s asking: there’s got to be a catch. straightening your back and crossing it over your chest loosely, you decide to come clean - the full truth. “you’re only thirty-four but i won’t lie - you have a price on your head, doctor kim.”

the server comes back with a small cart and a bucket of chilled red wine. you wait until he pours a third of both glasses and goes away. but seokjin doesn’t appear all that eager for your elaboration - it’s almost as though he’s already known. or at least expected that much.

“your mother is willing to pay anyone who marries you a whooping ten million if the lucky bride brings you back to your family.” you watch as he studies the density of the wine, twirling the glass gently with a sort of tilt on his lips like a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes, “but i won’t make you reconcile with your family. i’ve told you my intentions - i need someone who knows the ins and outs of the hospital since don’t have any clinical background and it’d be easier if we were husband and wife.”

it’s in that moment that seokjin tears his eyes off the wine and captures your gaze. in the absence of the sunlight, those brown eyes appear more black, reflecting the dancing fire on the incense. you feel naked and bare as he wedges his fingers in and tear open the windows to your soul. “don’t you have someone you want to marry, miss___? someone you love?”

taehyung’s silly grin flashes at the back of your mind like a solar flare you can’t erase - all you can do is wait until dies out on its own. you don’t realize your unfocused gaze is directed to seokjin in the split second you wait for your thoughts to gather itself. redirecting your gaze to the wayward reflection in your own glass, you let out a breathy chuckle. “yeah, well.”

it’s pathetic and embarrassing but you can’t even conjure up proper words. instead, you bring the wine to your lips, preferring to taste the bittersweetness of the wine than that of your own reality.

x

all you talk about for the rest of the night is matters pertaining the marriage. what he’ll have to endure and what he won’t have to endure. he doesn’t need to attend any of the social functions even if you’re married. doesn’t also need to concern himself with matters about his family - it becomes tricky when his family catches news of their only son’s marriage and want to be there for the ceremonious day.

“i don’t know what’s going on with you and your family but they won’t be invited if you don’t want them to be.” you fix him with one of your smiles. a tilt in the corner of your lips and a languid flutter of your eyelids before meeting his gaze. it always works - takes away the essence of the conversation and makes them focus on you so if he wants to throw your words back at you, there’s a leeway you could escape to.

until you couldn’t.

“it’s fine. i’ve been running away for the last few years - it’s time i face them head on.” he looks up from the steak he’s cutting - you still haven’t recover from the time he’d look at you in the eye and effortlessly tore your defenses like it was paper but there he does it again, splaying out your scheme like a dish best served hot, “besides, they won’t be invited but you can’t- no, you won’t stop them from showing up, right?”

it’s true. his family isn’t just any normal family. his father is a ceo of one of the most prominent cell phone companies in the world after all. you’d be invincible if you’re in good terms with your in-laws. or at least, if they think you’re on their side and want to help them get their son back.

but seeing as nothing gets past seokjin, you’re only left to either evade the question or full out deny it to keep your pride intact. either way, both options will only serve to confirm his suspicion - he may already know what you’re up to but verbalizing it is a different kind of pride-crushing. your lips curl into a smile - an irony of having been cornered in every direction from the man you thought you could wrap around your fingers.

but because your pride wouldn’t allow you to look like a fool and your ethics wouldn’t allow you to tell a flat out lie (half truths are alright), you decide the first option is much better. “there’s one more thing - i want to get pregnant within the first year of our marriage.”

or else, you’re going to end up like your parents - their bones weren’t as strong as they used to be by the time they got you and their souls were withered from the works they’d put on in their better years of their lives. your mother’s life was risked by the late pregnancy. still, they tried to love you better but there were things you couldn’t do with parents who were hitting 50 before you even reached high school. you couldn’t go camping or bike riding or fishing like your grandfather brought your father to.

it seems to have caught seokjin off guard when he stares at you with wide eyes a tad longer before dropping his head and chuckling to himself, “my, i don’t know if i still have it in me.”

and that’s how you know he’s messing with you - perhaps it’s his own way of reminding you that he’s too old for you and if he’s lucky, it’ll scare you away from the idea of marriage altogether. but the fact that he’s trying to make you give up means that he’s agreeing to the marriage. you let your lips curve into a smile, adrenaline rushing through your veins and into your very core.

you absolutely can’t wait to get married.

x

the marriage will be held within five months - it’s the earliest you can get. it’d be suspicious if you just suddenly got married without any scandal or news of dating the estranged only child of the kim family. you’ve already hired a reporter to follow you during your first three ‘dates’ - they may very well be the only dates you go on together judging from your packed schedule. it’s been almost a week since that dinner and you’ve made plans to appear in public together - your first date.

rapping your knuckles on the door, you wait for the light on the handle to turn from red to green - a signal that the owner’s allowed you access. “hey, you ready?” is the first thing you say, even though you know he’s not.

“miss ___, i’m sorry i was working and didn’t realize the time.” he seems to be genuinely apologetic - and there’s an x-ray film and some papers strewn over his desk to verify his claim. “i’ll freshen up and -”

his brows lift in surprise when you lower yourself on his lap just as he pushes the chair backwards to stand up. the usually gelled light brown hair falls over his face in a messy middle part and his button down is less crisped than when you saw him the first time. granted your first meeting with him was at noon - it’s not enough time for the demands of his career to dishevel him. it’s evening now.

his jaw slacks just the slightest bit, resulting for his lips to part - you’ve noticed their plump fullness and it’d be a lie if you said you didn’t wonder about how they’d feel on yours. the taupe acrylic on your thumb digs into the soft pink flesh of his lips before it travels to his chin.

“may i?” two words. and that’s all it takes for something lustrous to take over his eyes. you find yourself smirking when he stares quizzically as your hand leaves his face and brings his own between your lips. his fingerpads are callous from years of surgical training but they don’t tremble under the touch of your tongue. his digits are lengthier than you expect them to be. his middle finger hit the back of your throat easily before you can get them all in but he’s not the only one that’s received training.

you switch to his ring finger, tongue gently curling around it before you drag your teeth over the ridges of its joint. as a finishing touch, you make sure to lick the bottom of your lips all the while holding his gaze. then, you allow the smile to grace your lips as though nothing happened but the way you pretend to struggle to get up, causing your ass to rub against his arousal - defeats that false sense of innocence.

either way, his surprised expression turns to an amused one as he chuckles a low chuckle - an admittance of your victory, “my, i just lost, didn’t it?”

“whatever do you mean?” you blink, lashes fluttering with feigned innocence.

x

articles are starting to pop up after your personal reporter uploaded hers. it’s not enough to shake the world but it’s enough to catch the eyes of secretaries which in turn tell their bosses and as a result, your phone’s been blowing up and your own secretary has been taking calls since this morning.

“___, you’re leaving already?” taeyeon cups the mouthpiece of the phone she’s been on for the last five minutes, alarms going off in her eyes at the thought of your absence. you don’t blame her - from the way the conversation seems to be going, she might just drag the whole telephone all the way to your desk and make you answer them.

business proposals must be pouring in. you feel bad for your secretary but to be frank, the instant ringing as soon as she held up the last call - has been bothering you to no end as well.

you grin sheepishly, “i got a meeting with dad.” it’s just a coincidence that your dad called you to his office today - he usually does every once in a while just to ask how you’re doing and lament about having to handle your mother’s random burst of hobbies she’s getting into ever since you moved out.

looks like nobody’s noticed the ‘rumor’ yet from the way the workers in the administration department bows and greets you on your way to the office. granted, these people are too devoted to their work to pay attention to the latest business scandals but you expected at least one person to be blowing up the group chat with pictures of you and seokjin’s first date.

there’s a familiar figure leaning against your dad’s desk but no trace of the elder man - he must have went to the washroom or something. you thought it odd when taehyung’s eyes fall on you without the usual grin he would usually offer whenever he sees you - like reflex. at first, you assume his own date with yuju probably didn’t go very well.

“hey, loser. this is the first time you’re here earlier than me.” you fix the man your own grin, happy to be able to see not one but two of your favorite persons. taehyung’s been coming over to play at your house since forever. it was normal for your dad to invite him to his office and take you two to lunch now that you two have grown up.

...until you notice your dad on the couch and another person sitting adjacent to him. it’s easy to miss people when they’re sitting down and easier to have your eyes focus on taehyung’s tall frame.

the tension almost crushes your lungs as soon as you walk through the door. it becomes apparent all too soon that taehyung tried to warn you with his eyes to not be your usual idiot self. now, you’re paying the price for it as all eyes fall on you.

the third person in the room turns his cheek towards you - seokjin. he offers a too polite smile as you come to a stop next to the couch he’s one.

“daddy?” all of a sudden, you’re a child in a room full of adults and calling your out to your dad, as if it would somehow make him explain this situation you just walked in.

the elder man releases a long drawn sigh before speaking, “i’d like a word with my daughter and doctor kim, if you don’t mind, taehyung.”

“sure, uncle.” the aforementioned man offers one of his gallant smiles, pushing himself off the desk without taking out his hands from his pockets.

you grab onto taehyung’s arm as he’s about to pass you - pleading with your eyes for him not to leave you, a mere ant, with the elephants in the room. that’s when his serious facade falls through and he’s grinning at you like a brother would to his sister when he knows she’s going to get in trouble with their parents. your temple throbs with a burst of rage but before you can say anything, he’s already out of the door.

the sweetness of the tea mrs. nam served is tasteless compared to the tangible tension in the air. it’s become apparent that while the more tech savvy staff remain clueless of your updated dating status, your father, is not.

be it as it may, guess you should give credit where it’s due - seokjin’s expression is free of any tautness. it’s perfectly neutral - it’s frightening. you know for a fact you’re not saved from a hard line on your glossed lips and a crease between your brows.

“i heard from my wife that you two are dating.” the elderly man finally breaks the silence.

he’s addressing your mom like that so to make it known that he’s talking to seokjin too - and you’re not the only one in hot water. but seeing as it’s your idea and your proposal, it’s also your responsibility to respond-

“that’s correct, sir.”

-but seokjin beats you to it. it’s not just his expression but his tone is completely at ease. almost as though he’s faced tense situations like this one too many times.

you breathe out before speaking, “i was going to introduce doctor kim to you and mom once we bought our engagement rings.”

your dad finally looks up, eyes wide and mouth slacked for the briefest second before his eyes flutter close. now’s about time for him to be rubbing his temples from the headache but instead, he lets out a sigh. for a split second, you see your dad for the age he is - not the age you remember him as in your earliest memories. wrinkles and smile lines and graying hair.

the seconds stretch on as do the silence. you can hear the distant ringing of the telephone all the way from mrs. nam’s desk from outside, almost clearly.

once your word settles in, then comes the million dollar question, “do you two love each other?”

it’s a no brainer. anyone with eyes can see and answer that for you - or perhaps taehyung already told your dad since he must have gone through a similar interrogation session. and yet, it’s only natural to want confirmation from your own daughter instead of her best friend even though he knows everything about her.

this can only go two ways: yes or no.

but you’ve never been fond of flat out lying, especially to the man who taught you such principles and you’ve talked about marrying for convenience with them ever since you realized that ambitions tend to reward but cheap sentiments like love does not.

yet your chest feels heavy having to go against your parents’ wishes and hopes for you - they want what any parent want for their child. happiness. “no, we don’t.”

“but no one enters into a marriage with divorce in mind. i don’t plan on just being a husband to your daughter just on paper. i’ll care for miss ___ and treat her the way like a queen. that much, i promise, sir.” seokjin holds your dad’s gaze - it’s haunting and charming, you would know. you’d been on the receiving end once too many times already. and you know that’s how he gets your dad.

the older man nods, shoulder line relaxing almost as though he’s been lifted off a dead weight. he’s not the only one - you don’t realize you’ve been holding your breath until you feel your own muscles loosening and you’re breathing out in relief.

until his head snaps up to point out one thing, “you’re getting married yet you’re not on first name basis?”

x

“sorry to rope you into family drama, i’ll be more prepared next time so you won’t have to leave your work.” is the first thing you say once you’re in the elevator. your dad has made sure to grill you to half-death with his questions. he’s gonna give the immigration a run for their money. the first name basis matter is just the beginning of a series of dread -

‘what’s my daughter’s favorite color?’

‘dad, do you even know my-”

‘shh. do you know my daughter still wets the bed at the age ten?’

‘dad!’

seokjin had taken your dad on in stride. he chuckled when your dad said something ridiculous, borderline false and he listened on when your dad went on about the sob story of a ‘poor father with an undefeatable daughter’. but the way he did it was so effortless - almost as if he was a boyfriend visiting your parents and getting told all the embarrassing stories of your childhood and would tease you about it but at the end of the day, tells you he thinks the kid-you was cute - bed wetter or not.

there’s something that restricts your airway at the thought of sharing a feeling so strong with someone. in no time, you push the intimate image away. you and seokjin aren’t like that - this is marriage is strictly convenience-based.

“i asked a friend of mine to cover for me.” so he knew it’d be long but he didn’t actually said it was okay either. marriage is a tricky subject especially for someone as work-crazed as seokjin. you’re surprised he hasn’t cursed you out for making him miss work. “is it red?”

“what?” you blink, steps halting as you stare up at him with what starts to be mindless curiosity but ends up with a stretched on pause as you study the man’s visage. the plumpness of his lips is a given- it’s the first thing you noticed about him.

“your favorite color.” the corners of his lips lifts upwards before he includes his assertion, “you’re always wearing something red - your lipstick was red when we went for dinner. you have a red blouse on now.”

 even you didn’t know you have so much red. but it’s true - your functions and meetings wardrobe consists of red and black predominantly besides the more neutral pastel colors. you have a higher success rate of getting sponsors when you wear the tight fitted red dress.

but it’s not a preferred shade per se.

“no,” you chuckle, “my favorite color is yellow, like the banana.”

seokjin’s brows rises at that. he probably didn’t expect that - nobody expects the fierce and confident woman to like such a bright, clarifying color. “though i understand why you think it’s red.”

his lips curl into a smile - the kind of smile that mimics your own, not the one that he wears to charm your father. though that one was also genuine, this one makes him feel younger. like someone you can crack silly jokes with instead of the ever uptight working man.

before he manages to say anything, your name reverberates across the lobby. taehyung’s shrugged off that ugly grey checkered blazer of his and left it at the sofa as he mini run towards you. the grin on his face gradually falls off when he notices the lack of smile on your face.

“you left me for dead!”

he blocks your fist with a hand around your wrist before sighing as if you’re not just directing every ounce of energy in that punch of yours - but then again, none of your smacks really get to him.

“i didn’t know uncle was gonna ask me about that - i thought it was gonna be the usual lunch. i mean, come on, i waited for you down here even though i have work to do so i can make sure all your limbs are intact!” he looks like he almost meant it. almost.

it’s in that moment that seokjin’s remark reminds you that he’s still there, “you two must be close.”

“huh?” taehyung narrows his eye at you as though you’re no more than gum under his shoes while you whip your hand out of his grasp and scoff.

“nah, i’m her only friend.”

“it’s because he doesn’t have any other friend.”

you both say at the same time.

at least seokjin’s still able to laugh with all the intention-to-kill in the air. before you can elaborate on how taehyung kept following you around like a lost puppy when you were younger, seokjin’s hand finds its way around your shoulder, you thought it odd that he needs to pat on the shoulder farthest from him but it turns out he’s pulling you towards him but by the time you realize it, you’re already craning your neck to look at him. but you barely notice the awkward position of his lips on the spot just above your left eyebrow - his lips really are soft. and warm.

and gone.

before you know it, he’s pulling away, saying something about seeing you later - you couldn’t hear it from the blood rushing in your ears and the heat rising on your face. it’s only after you see his white coat disappear around the corner do you finally take notice of the slyly grinning fox in front of you.

“what did i tell you? simple-minded beings.”

x

you still don’t know why seokjin kissed you on the forehead.

sure, he told your dad he’s not planning to just be a husband on paper - okay. but he’s nowhere near a husband to you yet and you haven’t even given him an engagement ring. it doesn’t help that your heart keeps racing every time time the image of his sharp jaw and pursed lips before he kissed you, plays at the back of your mind.

he smelled good too - like aftershave and lemon and a hint of disinfectants.

before you know it, you find yourself rapping on his door eight minutes past 7 in the evening. after a whole solid minute of the red light on the door handle remaining the same color, you finally let out the breath you’ve been holding. it’s supposed to be past his shift but judging from the lack of response from the other side of the room, you know straight away that he’s still at the wards. it may have been an impromptus decision but now that you’ve walked the distance from your office to the other end of the building, you might as well go the extra mile and actually look for him. 

most of the nurses and doctors that pass you recognize you, bowing briefly before hurrying to where they were heading before they saw you. you rarely visit the cardiology department - or any other department for that matter because it’s always a hassle for the staff to prepare to greet you. in that aspect, you agree with seokjin - that they could be doing something better than pushing their schedules on their colleague to accompany a sightseeing vip.

“miss ___?” a young man around your age calls, his brows furrow at the idea that his eyes could be fooling him but when you turn to him, his eyes light up in pleasant surprise, “it really is you. why - i didn’t know you were visiting today.” 

“doctor kim,” you don’t forget a face easily - right before you is kim suho. the smile that stretches when you recognize him is telling enough. his past achievements are definitely to brag about and he must have attended the annual dinner if he recognizes you, “good evening. this isn’t an official visit - actually, i’m looking for someone. do you happen to know where doctor kim seokjin is?”

“seokjin?” he repeats the name with a sort of familiarity, coupled with confusion. of course, he’s probably wondering what the work-crazed doctor did to have the ceo come all the way to the wards.

“miss ___?” it’s feels almost deja vu - having your names called out by two different people within the span of five minutes. both sounding equally confused but for different reasons.

“good evening,” you fix seokjin one of your alluring smiles, heart skipping a beat - it’s probably the stethoscope hanging over his shoulder. it compliments the collared button down and white coat, look you usually see him in, “i went to you office but you weren’t there so i came here.”

“let’s talk in my office.” he clears his throat, eyes drifting to look to somewhere on his left before he stops himself. if it’s the whispering nurses at the counter he’s worried about - he shouldn’t be. because you’re about to put a ring on it.

x

“sorry, i was doing my last rounds but the patient was a chatty one - i lost track of time.” he says, walking into the office and setting the stethoscope down on his desk before he takes a seat behind it.

you notice the way his eyes travel from your perfectly pinned up hair down to your diamonds adorned neck down to the halter strap of your elegant maroon dress that wraps around your body flawlessly. but he doesn’t say a word - and you’re forced to school your expression to not show your surprise and hurt when he doesn’t even let his gaze linger for any longer than necessary as he meets your eyes again.

you take out the suede velvet box from your purse and place it right in front of him. “it just came in, why don’t you try putting it on?”

his eyes twinkle with a surprise not because of the foretelling shape and characteristics of the box, nor the affirmation of the silver band inside it but because it sits snugly around his ring finger when he slips it on.

“how did you get my size right?” the impressed tone laced in his voice makes your chest swell with pride and lips curl into a smirk.

it only takes him a few seconds to interpret your smirk - that time in his office. the ghost of his digit on your tongue still lingers. it wasn’t just for show and you weren’t cruel enough to put a man through that misery if you didn’t have your own reasons.

he shakes his head, ring bluntly glinting as suppresses his chuckle with his hand.

your heart is beating too loudly in your chest - there’s something in the way he’s bearing your claim but you still manage to sound leveled and collected. “since we’re officially engaged, do you mind if i call you seokjin?”

“i’d like that very much, ___.” he’s finally dropped the suffix. ms. this, ms. that. you’ve gotten used to it but it serves to enforce the invisible line between you and him when he addresses you so formally.

your phone buzzes in your purse - it must be taehyung. you didn’t expect to spend longer than ten minutes but he must be waiting at the lobby if he’s texting you now. standing up, you bid him a parting “have a nice evening, seokjin.”

he doesn’t seem like he has anything on his mind but just as your hand covers the handle of the door, he speaks up, “once we’re married, could you refrain from going to these functions?”

it takes you off guard. like a spear that pierces you just as you lay down your armor but you’re not one to let something like this get to you, “i’m afraid that’s not possible.” and that’s it. it’s final.

but you should have known when you decide to use that practiced icy tone, that seokjin wouldn’t just back off the way almost everyone would. the only people who would still have the gal to say something or dismiss it are your parents and taehyung.

“i know you expect me to be an obedient husband and become chairman and do my job. it shouldn’t matter if you attend these functions since you’re not forcing me to go with you.” and there’s those eyes again. tearing into the soul of your window and stripping you bare the way only kim seokjin could. “but marriage is about compromise - giving up one thing for the other. i’m gonna inherit my dad’s fortunes and you’re gonna get that 10 million my mom promised. shouldn’t that be enough to get the projects for the hospital rolling?"

when he says it like that, it seems so easy and simple. “no wonder you’re a doctor. you don’t know a thing about maintaining a sustainable business.” you let your lips curl briefly, “but i’ll think about what you said.”

then, you’re out of his office. heels clicking against the floor as you make your way to the lobby and into taehyung’s familiar sleek black burgatti.

x

“so he asked you to stop coming to these functions.” the car rolls to a stop right in front of the hall where the birthday party of seollyu’s president is held.

“in essence, yeah.” you say after he comes around the car and your hand automatically tucks itself in the crook of his arm.

“then why are you mad?” the car purrs behind you before the valet takes it somewhere to park it.

some of the reporters at the entrance calls your and taehyung’s names in an attempt to make you look at the camera. there’s too many and the lights are blinding - you just want to get into the hall quickly. at least they won’t be able to follow you past the doors.

“i just - i don’t like that he’s asking me to change, you know? just because i’m married, i won’t get to do the things i usually do before? that’s just bullshit.” you huff in frustration - not bothering to hide your stiff eyebrows and slightly pursed lips all the while you have your pictures taken. at best, they’re going to slander you with jealousy over taehyung’s new budding romance.

“i mean, he did cut his family off and stopped going to these things.” the man shrugs, “maybe he has a good reason - did you even ask him why?”

and that’s how you know you’ve lost the fight. taehyung’s too sensible - naturally, he wouldn’t have his own startup at such a young age, if he isn’t the way he is now. but you don’t want an analyst - you want a friend who would listen to you and let you vent your frustrations before finding the root of the problem and suggesting the solution.

taehyung knows this and he knows plenty of many things, having been your childhood and best friend all in one package. but because he knows you too well, he also knows you’ll end up doing something you would regret if he were too late to point out your mistake. sometimes you want to prove him wrong - that you can call the right shots when it comes to people without having him paint a picture for you to foresee the outcome but so far, there’s limited exhibits of your success. your failed past relationships being the prime examples.

“i hate it when you’re right.” you grumble, letting your hand fall to your side - usually you wouldn’t mind having to cling onto taehyung like a child. you’re all the other has in these functions - everyone has their own reason for attending and just like absolutely everyone, you approach people because of what they can give you. that’s why you see groups of people your age flocking together - they grew up trained to sniff those with ill intentions and those with a mutual interest.

and usually, they’ve known each other at a very young age - the way you knew taehyung for as long as you can remember.

you have other friends too - or rather, they’re people you single out to be of no threat to your business and could even become partners someday. like sowon - her bright amber dress making it seem as though a ball of fire is flitting across the hall. you’re about to wave at her before you notice a more furious fire burns in her eyes.

“you bitch!”

all of a sudden, your neck is craned in an awkward angle. the blaze on your cheek settles a little later than the realization that sowon just smacked you right across the face yet when you turn back to her, hands clenching and unclenching in suppression of rising anger - she’s the one with tears in her eyes. “i trusted you.”

oh boy.

the host hasn’t even made his speech and the crowd’s already excited. the widespread whispers don’t go past you - some of the people in your periphery doesn’t even bother hiding leaning into the person next to them while stealing glances your way. but you doubt the woman in front of you would notice anyone here but you.

“ladies, there’s plenty of me to go around.” taehyung speaks from next to you, his smooth baritone echoing off and reaching anyone within five feet. you know he’s doing this to cover for any other possible misunderstanding - after all, this isn’t the first time you’re trapped in a scandal between taehyung and one of his girlfriends.

sowon loathes taehyung though.

but it doesn’t matter as long as everyone thinks it’s just another day of you getting in between the budding romance of taehyung and his female acquaintance. you can already see the expressions of the guests falling - probably disappointed at the not-so-news news. but there are also those who snicker underneath their breath - probably one of taehyung’s past acquaintances. it’s no secret taehyung would choose you over them in a heartbeat - and it’s been established when taehyung appears at a function with another woman once and appear to the next five with you until a new poor soul takes that woman’s place.

what can you say? your best friend’s a charmer. but the downside is, you don’t have that many female friends at functions. and one of the few you do have, you’ve managed to piss off.

sowon’s sniffle tears your attention away from the crowd. flushed cheeks and puffed eyes. you’re not close but you’re acquainted enough to know she’s a woman of pride and confidence. she wouldn’t lose her cool over a man - well, at least not a licentious man like taehyung. and that’s the only reason keeping you from bitch slapping the pride off her. the sting on your cheek is nothing compared to the injury your pride sustains - all because what’s left of your conscience wouldn’t allow you to return the slap.

deep down, you know you deserved it and more. your insides churn painfully. all of a sudden the dress around your body is two sizes too small. it’s suffocating - the whole room is suffocating.

“after everything i told you - you had to go for him?!” her scream could almost burst your eardrums if it isn’t for the blood rushing in your ears.

it’s easy to think she’s referring to taehyung. somewhere from across the room, the crowd starts clearing out a path - looks like the host has caught wind of the commotion sowon has caused.

you want to curse her too. hurt her with words as much as she hurt you with her physical assault. but instead you find yourself dropping your gaze.

“i’m sorry, sowon.” is all you say before mr. jung and his army of secretaries approach you and bring you two to different rooms. by the time dinner starts, sowon isn’t around - it’s understandable, her pride wouldn’t allow her to let these people poke fun at her.

but you don’t survive this world you’re born in by running away - you survive it by developing skin as untouchable as scales. so you stay until desert, smiling with a sore cheek and conversing with those who you know would be neutral about the incident, like nothing happened.

taehyung sticks closer to you. he doesn’t ask if you’re okay - you’re not. but when you tug on his sleeve and timidly murmur you wish to go home, he does so without hesitation. it’s times like these you’d choose him over the world.

x

the tabloids love gossip. a sensational, popcorn-worthy scoop. there are two divided groups thanks to that. the first one is devoted to the belief that it’s a love triangle between you, taehyung and sowon. the other one, choosing to dig deeper than what’s on the surface, believes it goes way back. ten years back.

“sorry, i should have told you sowon was my ex-fiance - it didn’t occur to me until i saw the articles that you two might meet at a function.” seokjin finally says, the strawberry ice cream beginning to melt in its paper bowl when he asked you to ‘at least, let me cure your injury,’ - you didn’t, in a - make that ten - million years picture it to be in a form of an ice cream bowl he bought from the mini convenience store next to the cafeteria. it was to hold it on your cheek but you couldn’t just let good food go to waste.

it hurts to even smile but you can’t help it at the thought of the rumored half-mad doctor using his break for something besides working some more. coupled with a shake of your head and the plastic spoon trapped in between your lips, you look just as insane. 

your heart still clenches at the recollection of the other night, “i knew you two were engaged.”

his shoulder line straightens just the slightest bit as he lifts one eyebrow, not completely surprised but neither is he unfazed. so you continue, “it was by pure dumb luck that you turn out to be the best marriage prospect for me but i thought she was over it since it’s been years.”

there it is again, the churning in your stomach. like something’s eating you from the inside. if you focus enough, you can hear the voice inside your head scoffing - even if they’d just broken up yesterday, you still would have proposed to seokjin, maybe even the day after said break up. 

this time, you don’t look away when his eyes meet yours. you let him strip your armor down to your very core. show him just what kind of person you are - the person who wouldn’t let anything get in the way of her ambitions. wouldn’t dwell cheap sentiments like friendship. even if that made you - as sowon would put it - a bitch.

then, he lets out a heavy sigh - the kind of sigh a parent would do when their kid got in trouble and admitted their fault. so now he can’t lecture you on morals and ethics because you have your own principles.

if anything, it reminds you of the glaring difference in your age - the things he’s already experienced that you’re about to someday. the betrayals. the broken friendships. the choices between what you want and what you need. he’s probably seen this all before.

“is an old man like me really worth all that trouble?” the tiniest of smile graces his strong feature. eyebrows wavering with something you can’t pinpoint.

“well, there’s a doctor - kim suho.” this time, you don’t bother pointing out his not-even-that-old age. the way his eye twitches barely noticeably tells you he doesn’t expect your answer. a moment later, it becomes too apparent, from his troubled expression - brows stiffed and jaws tight, that he doesn’t like the idea of you asking for another man’s hand in marriage. you have to tell yourself to refrain from smiling, not because your cheek might hurt again but because it’s probably not a good time to tease him.

deciding to release him from his own misery, you quickly elaborate, “but he has an average background - no matter how much experience he has, you don’t just get on your knees and start slithering with the snakes. you have to be born into the family. so yes,” you place your ice cream on the coffee table, hand pushing back a strand of hair to appear more delicate and win his favor while you let a furtive smile adorn your face - and there’s a smile he’s suppressing too because he knows what you’re trying to do, “this old man is definitely worth it.”

his shoulder line seems to ease up as he tries to hide a relieved sigh by clearing his throat. but it’s short lived when the crease between his brows returns and a newfound tension settles in space on the couch separating the two of you, “yes, but suho was never the one i should be on a look out for, was he?”

you blink but he’s already shaking his head. a smile on his face, “never mind.”

x

things seem to settle down - everyone at the hospital knows about you and seokjin now. and you’ve managed to convince him to finally use his off days to spend it on preparing for the wedding. cake tasting. dress and suit fitting. deciding on what color the napkins should be - a month ago, you approached seokjin with the mindset to make him agree to marry you. after all, prince charming was the one who had it all - it didn’t make sense to have cinderella do all the wedding planning.

he was mad at you for some reason - it lasted for quite awhile until you directly asked why he’d been given you the cold shoulders. “you keep playing a two man game by yourself.” he sighed when he said those words - because he saw in your eyes, that you thought there was nothing wrong to be finishing what you started by yourself, “we’re getting married - we’re gonna become a team yet you keep making decisions by yourself.”

ever since then, you started asking if he wanted to join you to the cake and dessert tasting, napkin color picking. you didn’t realize how nice it was to do things with another person than decide it on your own.

and somewhere along the way, you started teasing him more.

“if the saying ‘men age like fine wine’ is a person,” a grin slips over your face as you shamelessly give seokjin is a once over, “then you’d be the embodiment of that.”

he doesn’t seem to mind - rather, he seems like he’s enjoying the attention as he chuckles and shakes his head. probably thinking there’s no saving you and your compliments now.

“come here.” it’s the way he says it - with a smile on his lips and eyes that says you’re all he sees and hand extended to capture yours, that makes you jump from your seat. the front of the dress bunched up in your hands as to not trip over it and right into his arms. just like moth drawn to flames.

he pulls you up over the platform that he’s been standing on and lets you stand in front of him, hand on your shoulder as you stare in front of the 3 part mirror in the boutique. the dress you have on is a light gold dress with a sweetheart neckline that wraps around your curves flawlessly down to your knees and flow out like a mermaid’s tail. seokjin has on a traditional cobalt blue single breasted suit with three buttons fitting around his waist perfectly. his hair is gelled back the way you specifically requested.

he gave you a quizzical look as though wanting you to elaborate on your reason for that request but you’d only left him with a kiss on the cheek and a ‘see you on monday.’

if there’s one thing you learned about seokjin, it’s that he’s devastatingly unaware of his strong features that makes every woman’s legs turn to jelly and every man’s heart skip a beat. and he chooses to hide it under that usual middle parted style.

seokjin’s reflection bends down but his eyes remains on you as he whispers against the shell of your ears, “you look exquisite.”

you have half the mind to push him off and run away in case he’d ear the erratic beating in your chest but he probably already knows from the way you shyly look away. the you from a year ago would laugh at what you’ve become - the kind of girl that gets flustered and can’t form a proper sentence in the presence of a male. but before you can respond, a boisterous voice from the sofa you were sitting at, announces, “alright, next!”

your teeth clench together as you whirl around to face taehyung’s silly grin. that cockblocker - he knew you were having a moment and went out of his way to ruin it. “what are you even here for? don’t you have something better to do?”

for once, taehyung isn’t on his phone. you wouldn’t mind it so much if he’d just ignore you half of the time whenever you hang out. “your mom tasked me to find you a perfect dress since she can’t be here.” there’s a glint in his eyes - something ratchet and devious but his lips curve like that of an angel.

you don’t miss seokjin’s tightened jaw and stiff shoulder line as he helps you down the platform. ever since taehyung showed up ten minutes into fitting, seokjin’s expression has been switching from that suave smile to looking like he has a splinter stuck in his thumb - a human sized splinter that goes by the name of kim taehyung.

you never thought you’d live to see the day when kim seokjin would harbor any sort of animosity towards someone - he’s probably a strict supervisor, but resentful? can’t be.

you chalk it up with the plain fact that anyone who’s not head over heels for taehyung would want to skin him alive on the early stages of getting to know him.

“hm? seokjin’s not here yet?” you ask once you’re back from the fitting room, having slipped into an ivory trumpet shaped dress. it’s a much simpler design compared to the one you had on which makes it a perfect counter part for the after party. “that’s a first, the lady finishing first than the guy.”

“oh, it’s not that unusual.” taehyung snickers. guess that just shows how confident he is with his skills.

“i’ve never been this tired and i’ve only tried on three dresses.” instead of entertaining his remark, you choose plop down next to him.

“sparky, does he love you?” it’s that nickname that gets you.

there are only two circumstances where he would call you that: one, when he wants to annoy you and two, when he’s feeling nostalgic. guess it’s finally hitting him that you’re no longer kids chasing each other around in one of his mansions. you’re both grown up and one is trying out wedding gowns.

“uh, me and seokjin are about to get married, taetae.” you throw in a nickname of your own just to lighten up the mood.

but all it does is lift the corners of his lips into a wistful smile. and that’s how you know you can’t be telling your half-truths. and evading his question isn’t working all that well either. “it feels like we can talk about things more openly now - but no, i don’t think he does. he’s marrying me to become the next chairman and i’m after his money and maybe get a kid out of him too.” a knot forms in your stomach - something about what you said doesn’t sit well with you but this is what you wanted. this is what you prepared for the moment you decided to ask seokjin for his hand in marriage. you shouldn’t hope for more.

the laugh taehyung lets out is reactionary. humorless. “can’t you wait for me? i know i’m in no position to ask - but can’t you?”

two years and three months ago, when you were a little youthful, had a little more stars in your eyes - maybe you would’ve said yes in a heartbeat. with every birthday you celebrate, fear rears its ugly head and reminds you that time isn’t an illusion and you know better than to bet on something - someone you're not sure you can win.

your heart aches a similar way it did two years ago - but you know now it’s not because it’s breaking to pieces. instead it’s hurting for the pieces of that young boy you could never hope to complete using yours. it took awhile but you know how to get back on your feet - but it’s not all that simple for taehyung. only he can fix his broken pieces.

“i stopped, taehyung,” you finally say, gaze burning holes inside the lace material of the dress, “the moment you told me you can’t - i stopped loving you. i’m glad i did because it wasn’t love. i was just scared to lose you like you’re afraid to lose me now,” you tug on his hand to get him to look at you and he does - all of a sudden, you’re both eight, inside your own bedroom with your dolls and his remote control cars strewn across the floor, “but you’ll always be my taetae and i’ll always be your sparky - i’m always gonna be here for you.”

you thought he’d changed. it’s nice to know he still uses a fruit scented shower gel when he brings you into a hug. the piercing sweet scent isn’t as strong as you remember it. the hug lasts a bit longer and his body is trembling slightly but you know it’s going to be okay - even if he packs up and leave for a foreign city like two years ago when you told him you loved him and you had to hunt him down through your wits and will (that damned private investigator accumulated a fortune to last him for probably ten years). at the end of the day, you’ll come back to each other. because the bond you’ve formed is thicker than the blood coursing through your veins.

“if he makes you cry, you come to me, okay?” you can’t even be mad when he ruffles your hair before picking up his blazer and shrugging it on. by the end of it, you’re both smiling - though his remains wistful, yours is sanguine.

it’s only after taehyung’s figure disappears through the door, do you notice the feeling of a pair of eyes burning holes inside your head.

“seokjin.”

the man is leaning against the door where his changing room is. you don’t need to ask why his brows are strained and the lips that would usually grace you with a smile, is pressed into a tight line.

x

“i never knew-” seokjin stops himself, lips pressed together as though he doesn’t want to say it, but he does with a shake of his head, “-no, i did know there was something between you and taehyung.”

you end up in seokjin’s apartment. the whole ride has been stiff silent. it’s the first you’ve seen him so disheveled. his tie hangs loose on his neck as though he’d yanked it without a care in the world and forgot about it. the first two buttons of his button down are undone. what once was his perfectly sleeked back hair disheveled from having been mussed up.

the hot chocolate seokjin made you is losing heat the longer you hold onto to it for the sake of having something to do with your hands. “i proposed to him two years ago and stopped loving him as soon as he turned me down - taehyung, he... he’s got a lot going on. that’s all i can say. i hope you don’t misunderstand what you saw.”

his eyes turn as round as saucers for the briefest moment before they flutter to their original almond shapes. shoulder line shaking from chuckling - but there’s nothing funny about any of this so you keep your eyes on him. if he needed confirmation of the truth you’re speaking, he need only search it in the windows of your soul.

“that’s very like you, ___.” he finally says.

you’re not sure what he meant but you’re not about to ponder on it either, “is there anything else you’d like to know about me, seokjin? there’s no reason for me to lie to you - we’re about to get stuck with each other for the rest of our lives. we should at least be able to talk about our past openly.”

when he doesn’t seem to have any other inquiry, you decide to let go of your pride - the reason you never asked was because you were too proud to be wrong. growing up, there were only a few people that you let poke fun at you and fewer you’d let prove you wrong. it dawned on you some time after you’re all showered and ready to go to bed one night - that you’re about to let seokjin waltz into your life and he’ll bear witness to your most intimate side. he’s about to be said one of the fewer people.

“then, my turn - why did you want me to stop attending social functions? i’ve been doing it my whole life - i’m good at it. and i’m not planning to stop just because i got married unless you have a proper reason for asking me to.”

the way his gaze drops tells you it wasn’t just a baseless request. you reach out across the counter, slipping your hands into his. that seems to have brought him back.

“my parents chose to attend a function instead of staying by my grandfather’s side even when the doctor told them he wouldn’t make it til morning - they weren’t even sorry. couldn’t even stay throughout the whole funeral.” he shakes his head almost as though being hung up over it was ridiculous yet couldn’t move past it either, “it’s ugly what too much wealth does - i just- i’m sorry i asked such a thing from you. it’s my own problem that i have to deal with, you don’t have to stop.”

it’s not hard to put yourself in his shoes. you understand where he’s coming from - you want to tell him that but somehow words are cheap. especially right in this moment.

so without thinking, you slip off the stool and walk around the counter until you reach him. the last thing you see before you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him down to your level, is his wondrous gaze.

the man doesn’t flinch away from your touch nor does he welcome it in any way. but the longer the seconds stretch on, the more you realize how idiotic and awkward it is to hug someone you barely know - it worked for taehyung but that’s only because he knew you preferred action rather than words.

“i’m not gonna stop completely but i won’t go as often - it’s getting boring anyway.” you nonchalantly say - or at least try to sound like you’ve lost interest in the function on your own. you haven’t been to any since that incident with sowon, waiting out for the rumors to die down is a better choice.

the body in your arms is unresponsive as ever - you would think you’re hugging a dead body if not for the heat of his breath fanning your delicate skin. maybe he’s just too nice to push a lady away. just as you’re about retract your arms, a warm hand rests on your hip. his touch is soft and gentle - as if he’s handling a porcelain doll while you’d just dragged him down to you without even considering how uncomfortable the angle would be given his tall broad frame. 

his body vibrates when he lets out a short breath like a brief chuckle, “you’re very generous with your hugs.”

your brain short circuits when the man raises his head from your shoulder and rests his forehead on yours - it reminds you of how woman you are. even when he’s sitting he still hovers over you. his free hand cups your jaw, thumb lightly pressing on your lower lip. so this is what it felt like when your roles were switched - is he going to give you a false sense that he’ll kiss you the way you would him?

“may i?” he’s smiling when he repeats your own words - eyes trapping the ray of sunlight that pours over the wall-window like an illuminate waterfall. for the first time since you know him, you’re scared. not of what he will do but of what you want him to - but he won’t do.

your train of thoughts dissipates along with your worry the moment his lips touch yours. gentle. yet the hand pulling you into him is possessive. something in your stomach churns with butterflies.

you want to say you don’t know how you end up with your stomach pressed against his crotch or how his semi-hard arousal started rubbing into your abdomen. it’s supposed to be awkward but it isn’t and you know he’s refraining from addressing his aroused state to avoid making it uncomfortable for you - even though every time you shift and lean into him, you see his the gentle bob of his adam’s apple. it makes you want him even more. he leans into your touch as soon as you reach for him like moth drawn to flames.

“right.” he declares as if he’s been reminded of something when he comes in contact with one of the ridge of the rock on your middle finger. it’s your own engagement ring you ordered with seokjin’s. when the man spoke about getting you one, you’d held up your left hand and told him you already had one made. in fact, you never took it off since the day you put it on - which was the same day it came it.

understandably, you’re always wearing more than a ring on your hand - it’s easy to mix up between the ring from your personal collection or a ring of promise. especially when you didn’t tell him you got one made for yourself.

the hand on your cheek is warm as it brushes against your cheekbones, your rolls off his tongue like sweet honey, “what did i ever do to make you think i don’t love you?”

you blink once. you heard his words but your mind isn’t registering anything. but it seems your heart has seem to figure it out from the way it’s accelerating, you’re afraid seokjin might hear it. “wh-what?”

all of a sudden, you have this urge to pull the invisible blinds of his wall-window and hide from the peering rays of the sun. seokjin’s airy gaze. your fallen dress strap. the gentle protrusion in his pants. your own mussed up hair - you want to keep this moment all to yourself.

he pecks your forehead one last time. this lips curling into a smile - he knows you heard him. loud and clear and you have a feeling you’ll be hearing it at the most unpredictable moment from now on. so there’s no rush.

“where should we go for dinner?” 

x

seokjin knows they call him the doctor version of a mad scientist. he knows a plenty of many things. like how he’s more strict with the junior physicians under his care. but that’s only because if he treats them below their potential, they’ll end up being that.

but the part where suho jokingly told him that he was crazy for working on holidays - maybe he was.

he’d moved out as soon as he turned 18 and eventually cut off his parents. before, even if it was just for show, he still got to see them during those functions they held.

but by the time he graduated college and started interning as a doctor - he was already erasing part of his existence. and his parents didn’t seem to notice. it made it cutting them off effortless.

but then, loneliness - pure, unadulterated loneliness started to sink its claws into him. so he turned to work even more. built his life around it.

by the time he became a fellow, he had absolutely zero social life. the only human interaction he had was with his patients - but they come and go. sure they’re grateful for him - and since the private hospital he’s working at is frequented mostly by the richest, he’d received gifts like cars or gold bars from one of his elderly patients who were convinced they were going to die - until they woke up from a successful surgery done by seokjin himself. but they eventually forget him.

and of course, he returned those gifts. he’d be no different than his parents - than the people he wished not to see anymore after he left that world. but the one thing he thought he wanted - the one thing he thought would make him happy, started to burn him out. every birthday was just a reminder that he’s half the age his soul is. 

he’s worn and tired and losing sight of that man he told himself to be by a certain age.

that is, until you came along. at first, it was just courtesy that he listened to what you had to say - apparently you were the ceo. and quite literally, his boss. at first, he thought you were messing with him when you asked for his hand in marriage - no one just waltzes in and propose to someone they don’t know.

even those convenient marriages don’t go this way. but he’d accepted it anyway.

it has more to do with those eyes of yours than the chairman position. those eyes - they remind him so much of himself. the current him. except where his soul wanes, yours thirsts to thrive. like a dying cactus refusing to dry out.

you had thorns but picking them out wasn’t a problem - you’d been disconcerted at first but you’d quickly learn to use it to your advantage. telling him only the truth or nothing. since evasion and half-truths don’t work on him the way they would work on the people you probably surrounded yourself with. and he knew exactly what type of people they were.

eventually, you started telling him the blunt, honest truth. it threw him off a few times - like when you’d straight out told him that you knew who sowon was and still went for him.  and that time when you admitted that he was the second man to receive your proposal - the first being that brat, taehyung. and then, you’d straight out asked him about why he didn’t want you attending functions anymore instead of ignoring his request like his parents would. or flip out of shame for having your lie found out. you were forbearing but firm. sometimes, it felt like you were much older than him. 

but then you had a childish side to you too - it was food for his soul. every time he was with you, he felt like himself again. like that boy who applied for a job at the hospital with only his wits and his will backing him up. at first, he’d only saw that side of you in front of your most treasured people. your father. your mother. taehyung.

what you and taehyung have - seokjin will never come close to comprehend. a bond so strong, not even death could tear you apart. it became apparent too soon to seokjin that taehyung dominated parts of your life and he’ll only have a but a crevice of his presence in yours. your smile would always be a little brighter when you’re with the younger man. eyes always drifting away from him to taehyung.

and he was content with that but he thinks you’ve changed. or maybe it’s him that did. because you’re grinning at him now - like there’s something up your sleeves. and there is - his eyes widen at your brazenness. one minute he was admiring the way you lasted for hours in those heels that you just kicked off - you’d been wearing them starting from the ceremony to the reception and finally the after party but the next minute, you were grinning and pulling him with you down onto the velvet sheets. the your dress has ridden up to just below your knees in the process and seokjin’s caressing your exposed calf - he thinks you’re all the more delicate. your skin, too soft. he’s afraid he might bruise you.

“oh,” you speak into his mouth before pulling away without even a peck on his lips - but there’s a twinkle in your eyes when you pick up a small golden box that sat prettily on the night stand, “almost forgot. for you.”

“i didn’t get you a wedding gift.” he announces, pushing down the suspicion dominating his brain but how can he not pull out the ribbon to find out what you’ve prepared for him, when you’re looking at him like that? all grin and proud and saying something like you didn’t need one.

then his face falls and he’s looking at you deadpanned in the eye after noting the too familiar tablet of blue pills. but the frown doesn’t live long - he finds himself shaking his head. a smile wedging itself on  his own face, “viagra. really?”

“better safe than sorry, right?” it's not right context - usually, a condom would be involved where that sentenced is used. but you know from seokjin’s dazed stare that he doesn’t get it - but he chooses to admire your features instead.

it takes everything in you not to bury your face in his chest just because his stare is making you feel like a high school girl with a crush. his eyes don’t make you want to reel away from him and cover every scar and lies with a thick blanket anymore. perhaps it has something to do with the fact that there isn’t any that he hasn’t seen. both your flaws and your virtue - if he wanted to run away, there were plenty of chances for him to do so but he stayed and now - now, you’ll never let him go. hold him captive in your castle, smooth criminal. you lean and press a kiss on his lips - just to make him close his eyes.

when you pull away, his lips chases yours. just like moth drawn to flames. you can’t help but giggle - it’s cut short when his hand weaves itself into your hair and bring you down to him.

you barely notice the hand that wraps around your wrist before your back hits the soft mattress. his shoulders appear more broad now that he’s hunched over you like a beast who hasn’t had a drop of water since the drought. at times like these you’re reminded of how man he is and how woman you are. a fact you seem to forget because he’s been playing along with your little games like a well-behaved child.

“hey, no fair!” lips pursed, you cross your arms in a show of protest. but he chuckles that soothing chuckle and he’s standing on his knees while the frame of his belt glints in warning.

your heart skips a beat at the sight of his arousal that was begging to be released from the confinements of his cobalt blue pants. the sigh he breathes out when he pulls down the zipper, sends shivers down your spine.but disappointment makes your face fall when he leaves it like that instead of pushing his pants down along with it.

that’s okay. you tell yourself. we’re married now-

you reach out for him only to have a hand wrap around your wrist, your fingers hovering achingly close to the gentle protrusion in his black boxers but not really touching.

you crane your neck to look at him but when your eyes meet, your words die in your throat. the smile is gone and in its place, is a tilted smirk, “are you sure? once we start i might not be able to stop.”

it’s that question that gets your heart writhing and crying to be set free from the confinement of your rib cages.

“seokjin,” the name tastes delectably sinful tonight, “i’ve never wanted anyone to fuck me this badly.”

maybe it’s the vow you’re making on the absolutely zero occasion where you’ve been this rapt by a man. maybe it’s your out of character use of the curse - that’s just how much you want this. or maybe it’s both. either way, seokjin’s gripping handfuls of your dress and you wordlessly raise your hands up for him to pull your dress off you.

it’s the way his eyes travel down your body. hunger. madness. lust. they meld together in those darkened eyes of his yet you’ve never felt so safe. he dives in for a kiss. this time, it’s raw and passionate and has no intention to stop halfway - not after he made it clear that he couldn’t and not after you pleaded for him to take you.

your white cotton bra is first to go - you only wore it because the straps won’t contrast too much with the strap of your dress. initially, you were going to tease him a bit and disappear into the bathroom to change into the lacy black lingerie set you’d specifically ordered to be custom made by victoria’s secret. but with the way he’s kneading your breast in his palm and the way you’re clawing against his clothed chest like a ravenous creature - the lingerie can wait.

“take off your clothes.” in your head, it sounded more demanding - but it comes out breathy and begging. a part of you chide yourself for waving the white flag before the game even began but another part of you is tired of being the only one bare and naked.

there’s a godless gleam in his eyes the moment he heard your request and you should have known seokjin wouldn’t make it that easy for you. this is karma coming back to bite you in your butt naked state after all those times you spent teasing the man and him accepting it without any complaint. you thought he was just mature enough to get over it. it turns out he was just a beast laying in wait to claim what he deserves, “what’s the magic word?”

“please.” you answer in a heartbeat.

that same heart stops beating the second he shakes his head. no. wrong answer. “the other one - do you really think i didn’t notice? the way you tease me - the way you know i won’t do anything about it because i’m older, i have to be a bigger person?”

that’s when your pride comes crashing in like tidal wave. walk away, it says. you take back what you said about having nothing to hide from seokjin - there’s one. and you thought you’d keep it with you. let it be buried in your grave. but he knows - like he knows every layer of your existence. your every desire and compulsion. it’s disgraceful and mortifying, for you. but seokjin holds your gaze and wait, wait, wait - he doesn’t seem to share your thoughts - doesn’t look disgusted either.

“daddy.” the moment the word leaves your mouth, you feel liberated. freed. like a long overdue confession. the pleased look on seokjin’s face is everything and more. “daddy, please.”

“as you wish.” he’s your liberator. your freer. and he’s about to grant your one carnal desire.

his clothes hit the ground within less than a minute. you can’t help but gawk at his perfectly sculpted physique. it’s like gods personally descended the heavens and blessed him in his mother’s womb and stayed by his side up until now - only for him to scorn them right in this moment. your body bounces off the bed lightly when his fingers dig in your thigh, pulling you closer like a ragged doll. a small yelp escapes you.

your panties are the last to go. discarded somewhere on the floor along with yours and his wedding attire.

the first whimper escapes the moment he slips into you, but not fully. he lets you take him in, get used to his size and directs your hand to his lips before placing it on his shoulder. as if telling you, you can hurt him, claw him until his back is raw and bleeding.

you wouldn’t at first - opting to keep your hands fisted while you try your hardest to suppress every moan that erupts from your mouth with every stroke. but then he hits that sweet spot. your back arches forward and you think it’s that moment when your fingers break the delicate skin on his back - but you can’t remember. it’s a blur - the electricity coursing from your heart through your veins and curls your toes. the stars you see in the back of your mind and the way you tighten around him when the delectable sound of his moans brushes the shell of your ear as he holds you against him.

he almost crushed him underneath his weight when he pulls out of you. the traces of his arousal pressing in between your bodies as he forces himself up by propping himself on his forearms. his labored breath fans your face and he’s all you see.

there’s still a surplus of tingle in your lower abdomen how high he takes you - almost like cloud nine. and you’re slick with sweat and body fluid but there’s no where you’d rather be than here, in your husband’s arms.

five months ago, you approached him with the objective of gaining a husband to take the chairman position and maybe give you the grandchild that your mother’s been asking you for. you didn’t expect for anything more than what you bargained for. but the first time he told you how he felt - you still didn’t believe him. 

it was too surreal. and seokjin probably saw the tendrils of doubt every time he tells you how he feels - at the most sporadic moment. but he kept picking your thorns one by one like he could do this for a hundred years and more. you think i was that day when he found out about your past feelings for taehyung that he started. and he finally picked all of your prickly spikes - and now, he’s holding you like a child. head buried in between your breasts, muscled arms loosely hugging your waist. what a contrasting different to the man he was half an hour ago but so very seokjin of him.

the elated breath he lets out with his sigh is warm on your skin, “you know how to make an old man feel young.”

there he does it again. he’s been saying he’s old even though he’s only in his 30′s. at first you thought he was joking but over time - you think he truly believes he is. but when you agree with him-

“is your back okay? wouldn’t want your ancient bones breaking.” you pat his head sympathetically. 

almost as if you’ve pushed a that button with a flashy warning red on it, his fingers twine around your wrist and pull it away from his head. the bed shifts as he hovers over you with an aggrieved glint, “i’m sure there are greater things that little mouth of yours can do than express your concerns for my back, sweetheart.”

your heart skips a beat.

x

epilogue.

you love being married.

not because you can strut to seokjin’s office and have everyone know you have every right to be there. nor because the board can’t really say anything since seokjin fits every characteristics of a chairman either. but because-

“we’ve been at it like rabbits,” seokjin shoulder line jolts slightly when your arms gently wrap around him from behind but there’s a sort of mirth laced in his voice, “you’re still not tired?”

“what ever do you mean, dear husband?” your voice is sweet but not entirely innocent.

sure, you did it an hour ago and you’re both supposed to get ready for bed but when you stepped out of the bathroom and find the bed empty, you had to wander outside. you know he’d be in the living room reviewing past years’ reports in his preparation to take on your dad’s position. he could just step up first and get familiar with his job along the way - but it wouldn’t have been very seokjin to enter the battlefield without polishing his armor.

he smells like peppermint and lavender. donning a plain white shirt and grey sweats - it’s the second most dressed down you’ve ever seen him in compared to the white-collars you’re so used to seeing him in. the first, being when he’s in bed, of course.

“okay, well, i’m going to bed first.” with a peck on his cheek, you bid him a good night.

but it’s not in your nature to give up without a fight - or rather, without sauntering in front him in your pastel pink camisole. you put on the a black and gold corset on your first monthivasery - it was just an excuse for you to try on the lingerie and it paid off. but there’s just something about camisoles - floral or plain pastels are what gets him prancing on you like a hungry beast. it looks like you’re not the only one with a fetish.

the cleaner comes in every twice a week and you’re not here enough to mess up the place except the master bedroom - like seokjin said, you have been going at it like rabbits. still, you bend down, making sure your ass is perked a little higher as you rearrange the picture frames on the rack under the tv.

a tune of your favorite song vibrates against your throat for thirty-six seconds before you straighten your back and begin to walk towards the bedroom. but something you caught in your periphery halts your steps, “did you just check out my ass then bite your lip? ‘cause if you did we’re having sex. right now.”

that seems to catch him off guard - you’ve been finding new and creative ways to get fucked. some worked. and by worked, you mean it had you moaning and writhing as he took you raw. some failed. meaning he had relented mainly because you were asking and he wanted to please you - at times like those, he was the one lying down, watching you ride him but halfway through, he’d pulled you down and started fucking you missionary because ‘you were good darling, but watching you makes me want to personally fuck you senseless. you can ride me next time, i promise.’

either way, your work life is superb and your sex life is out of this world. especially with a husband like seokjin. guess that dry spell has finally lifted and unleashed the hungry beast in him.

seokjin sighs, eyebrows coming together in a troubled frown but the lump in his pants say otherwise. “when you’re sore and need me to walk you to your office tomorrow, remember you asked for this.”

something in the pit of your stomach churns. your heart races with adrenaline as he takes two steps with those long legs of his and close the distance. a yelp escapes your lips, not expecting him to hoist you over his shoulder like you weight nothing and landing a smack on your ass like he’s reprimanding you.

“seokjin! put me down, i’m heavy!” you cry out, smacking his back in protest. when you wanted him to take you, this wasn’t exactly what you had in mind - it’d be a completely, perfect lie if you say you weren’t dripping with excitement.

“this way’s faster than your tiny little legs, darling.” you can hear the smirk in his voice before he kisses the exposed skin on your hip.

x

note: and that’s it. but it’s not over yet! there might be drabbles coming up on our fav couple’s adventure as they try to get preggo lmaooo also i’ll be doing a ‘story time’ where i talk about the background of this fic - what inspired me to write it, why i titled it like the way i did and i’d like to dissect and oc and tae’s relationship and so much more. send me an ask if you have something in particular you want me to address from the fic!

if you like this fic feel free to check out namjoon’s version called good guys finish last. i’m also planning to turn this au into a series for every member. taehyung or yoongi will be next!

[irisarchborn]

Newest edition to my OC family x3 This month’s challenge by @far-side-skies​ was the beautiful snowy owl so here’s my boy Nikolai!

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Story: Nikolai was found by a Talon soldier during an evasion on Terra Merbia, one of the terra’s many known disasters had caused a rock slide that had blocked him from his home...and crushing his birth mother in the process. Blind and deaf to the world, the talon could have just left him to die or finished him off; but instead the solider choose to take in the newborn pup, wither it was an act of mercy or pity no one really knew, but sure enough Nikolai was soon adopted by a well off family in Terra Rex.

Growing up as a merbin Child in a human household was challenging for Nikolai, the other children either ignored him or just ran from him, The reason behind that being the very family that had taken him in, the Toddson’s were well known around Rex both wealth and power, one thing they kept shush shush about was their loyalty to Cyclonia. As his teen years approached Nikolai discovered his passion for both forms of science, though he did seem to lean more so toward natural science; he also learned of his adoption and of the talon that found him, sadly he’d passed away so Nikolai wasn’t able to deliver his thank you for life he’d been given. His parents who spoiled him and his hobbies; had no problem with coughing up the money to get him the best equipment and tutors for his new found passion.

Young Adulthood came and Nikolai’s father passed away and he had a nice private lab in the wastelands where he could do his genic splicing research in peace, as who in their  right mind would look in the wastelands? He’d also been to Terra Cyclonia a few times to get requests for inventions or just to give status updates on his work. 

About four years into his work Nikolai discovered the wonderous effects of his genic splicing, only down side he was fresh out of test subjects at the time, so he did what any another rough scientist would do....he used himself as the test subject. After recovering from blacking out the young man noticed a few new editions to his body, tiny white feathers. This sparked an idea in his mind, a genius idea he’d turn himself into the perfect Hybrid; but first he’d need someone to tend to him should something go array with the experiment. 

This began his five year search for the perfect assistant; which soon lead him to Vix, A young merbin women who was ill and given little time left on atmos. Nikolai offered to give her experimental treatment under the condition she worked for him once she was well enough too. Figuring taking the gamble was better then sitting in wait at a hospital, Vix agreed to his odd set of terms, but at least she’d have her medical costs covered, after many tests and experiments Nikolai found the right combination that soon cured some of her sickness enough to where she could walk and help him in the lab, as the years the two grown closer to each other, their merbin bodies had changed as well as the experiments were having higher succession rates then before, This earning them a lab in the cyclonia palace where Nikolai could tinker and research to his hearts content and Vix could tend his needs as before, both work related and romantic wise.

On the Dawn of his 37th birthday Nikolai’s hybrid experiments were complete, Vix’s were complete as well. The mad man was bit loony after all the tests he’d done to himself, even after vix tried to stop him, Now he sets to create a hybrid army in name of cyclonia and isn’t gonna let the sky knights or anyone else stop him. Terra’s beware his coming for your dna! - end Sorry if the end stunk but i was running out of ideas for how to close it. Hope you enjoyed anyway x3  but i am really proud of him and how he came out, I may draw his lonely assistant later.