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#I can remove his mask because I said so
blackchimaera · 9 months
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Between the silly FFXIV shenanigans I drew a Nero (the one with the design so bad it's good version, not Cid Garlond's ex-husband version)
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sciderman · 6 months
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I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain
Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it
i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)
really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!
undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.
i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.
people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.
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peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.
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it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."
so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.
people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.
autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.
#a lot of my traits have been exacerbated lately and i remember it was much easier for me before#and some of my friends have said “oh it's because you've been masking too long and now you're facing autistic burnout.”#and that made sense to me i think.#but then i found out about the stress thing. me overproducing stress hormone. and that's a very physical thing.#and that explains why i've been overstimulated more than usual lately. and why everything feels like too much.#and i wonder how many of these traits of mine are going to subside once i have lamar removed#and it makes me wonder a lot of things. and it's so weird how much your brain is tied to your biology.#i wonder how much i'll change. i wonder how i'll feel. i wonder if i'll still feel like me. i wonder how much me is me right now.#and how much of me is being altered by weird freaky hormones. who am i?? who will i be??#i'm almost looking at this as like. a superhero origin story of some sort. like this is my spider-bite moment. maybe.#will i be different? will i cope with things differently?? now that my body isn't fighting something anymore??#maybe i'll be normal. i don't know. i don't know.#i don't know what it'll mean for me.#but all of these things mean i relate to peter parker in a certain kind of way#i don't think you have to be diagnosed with autism to recognise and empathise with those traits i think#i think everyone can see themselves in peter. and i think that's the benefit of having characters that aren't diagnosed.#because there's so much overlap in the human experience. and certain feelings aren't exclusive to just one group of people.#peter has such a rich identity actually. it's an autistic thing. it's a queer thing. it's a jewish thing. it's a trauma thing.#there are so many overlapping parts of peter's identity that inform who he is and how he behaves and it's never just one thing.#it's a product of all of his things.#just like me! just like everyone.#so me? i guess i can be a million things. you can explain what i am in a million different ways.#a hundred different psychologists can all come up with different ways to explain why i be the way i be.#i don't think it's something that can be simplified.#sorry wow. i'm really going off here in the tags.#i hope people don't think i'm stupid. i don't know brain science. i'm just philosophising as usual.#sci speaks
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dirt-str1der · 2 years
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Whatever kiryu does to you might not always be the best or even safest option but he will always do it with a lot of love in his eyes so you have to forgive him
#Yakuza loveblog#i was looking through my notes at three am and i wrote something that i reread in the morning like w ..#where did this come from .... whys he doing that ... why is piss involved again .. <- already knows the answer#i really do believe that kiryu puts the things he likes in his mouth though#hes mostly grown out of it but if you catch him at an unexpected moment or if hes overwhelmed then its going inside his mouth#even the. cylinder attached to a larger structure is going into his mouth and if he cant swallow it then he’ll just leave it in his mouth#i think that kiryu should be allowed to be a little gross especially after disgusting sex. like i believe that majima likes being clean and#having long showers at the end of the day (typical girl behaviour) but kiryu will sleep in his own mess#cant stop thinking of him swallowing harukas one hundred dollar marble because he was so touched that she gave it to him#and she starts bawling and hes like. im sorry haruka. and shes like no its okay ojisan i can tell you really liked it#i bet he says sorry to haruka all the time because kiryu is constantly fucking up but she loves him so much its okay#i actually started crying when i opened the special bundle and harukas marble was in there because like she give me .... her marble .... god#shes such a special little angel and she gave me her cute little ... marble#i think haruka should inherit more than kiryus old man music taste she should watch him do things that she has unconsciously masked all the#while and then start exhibiting behaviours around him. haruka gets overstimulated and goes outside to chop wood like kiryu does#she goes to sing karaoke when she gets stressed because shes thinking about when he told her it relieves stress ...#im fucked up that they removed the kiryu sleeping on her teeny little lap scene in yk2 like he was so fuckinf sleepy and she was like here#sleep here ojisan and he was like thank you haruka ... and snoozed ............ shes his little freaking baby#i took her. to the orphanage and then i freaked it#i cant stop thinking of markiplier playing endoparasitic where he said hah you missed me. now you must kiss me ! when the thing lunged athik#like yeah i did miss you and i do want to kiss you .. wow so true#i think haruka should give kiryu kisses on the cheek like all little girls do to their dad#he fucking holds her like a baby (about to cry) oh my god their bond shes ... so little ....#when kiryu saw pochitaro again he was like hi pochitaro youve grown bigger. and pochitaro was like yip yip tail wag ! like no he didnt.#that dog is exactly as small as when you last saw it. it is the size of your foot#not haruka though she truly got bigger and she doesnt even hold his hand in y6 anymore like fuck my entire life fuck everything fuck fuck fu#or was it y5 like god no ... no ......#time is so fucking relentless your daughter will never be tiny again because shes all grown up#im thinking that haruka should meet kiryu again after hes dead and shes like OJISAN JUMPSCARE ??? and kiryus like no you got the wrong guy#and she wants to keep grilling him but she just sits down and sighs and asks him if she can pretend that hes her uncle kaz for a while ...
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infiniteglitterfall · 8 months
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know someone who enjoys horror stories? share this one! it's true!
hahahahahahahahahaha aarrggghhhhhhhhhh 3,000,000 deaths due to COVID-19 last year. Globally. Three million. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. The reason people are still worried about COVID is because it has a way of quietly fucking up your body. And the risk is cumulative.
I'm going to say that again: the risk is cumulative.
It's not just that a lot of people get bad long-term effects from it. One in seven or so? Enough that it's kind of the Russian Roulette of diseases. It's also that the more times you get it, the higher that risk becomes. Like if each time you survived Russian Roulette, the empty chamber was removed from the gun entirely. The worst part is that, psychologically, we have the absolute opposite reaction. If we survive something with no ill effects, we assume it's pretty safe. It is really, really hard to override that sense of, "Ok, well, I got it and now I probably have a lot of immunity and also it wasn't that bad." It is not a respiratory disease. Airborne, yes. Respiratory disease, no: not a cold, not a flu, not RSV.
Like measles (or maybe chickenpox?), it starts with respiratory symptoms. And then it moves to other parts of your body. It seems to target the lungs, the digestive system, the heart, and the brain the most.
It also hits the immune system really hard - a lot of people are suddenly more susceptible to completely unrelated viruses. People get brain fog, migraines, forget things they used to know.
(I really, really hate that it can cross the blood-brain barrier. NOTHING SHOULD EVER CROSS THE BLOOD-BRAIN BARRIER IT IS THERE FOR A REASON.) Anecdotal examples of this shit are horrifying. I've seen people talk about coworkers who've had COVID five or more times, and now their work... just often doesn't make sense? They send emails that say things like, "Sorry, I didn't mean Los Angeles, I meant Los Angeles."
Or they insist they've never heard of some project that they were actually in charge of a year or two before.
Or their work is just kind of falling apart, and they don't seem to be aware of it.
People talk about how they don't want to get the person in trouble, so their team just works around it. Or they describe neighbors and relatives who had COVID repeatedly, were nearly hospitalized, talked about how incredibly sick they felt at the time... and now swear they've only had it once and it wasn't bad, they barely even noticed it.
(As someone who lived with severe dissociation for most of my life, this is a genuinely terrifying idea to me. I've already spent my whole life being like, "but what if I told them that already? but what if I did do that? what if that did happen to me and I just don't remember?") One of its known effects in the brain is to increase impulsivity and risk-taking, which is real fucking convenient honestly. What a fantastic fucking mutation. So happy for it on that one. Yes, please make it seem less important to wear a mask and get vaccinated. I'm not screaming internally at all now.
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I saw a tweet from someone last year whose family hadn't had COVID yet, who were still masking in public, including school.
She said that her son was no kind of an athlete. Solidly bottom middle of the pack in gym.
And suddenly, this year, he was absolutely blowing past all the other kids who had to run the mile. He wasn't running any faster. His times weren't fantastic or anything. It's just that the rest of the kids were worse than him now. For some reason. I think about that a lot. (Like my incredibly active six-year-old getting a cold, and suddenly developing post-viral asthma that looked like pneumonia.
He went back to school the day before yesterday, after being home for a month and using preventative inhalers for almost week.
He told me that it was GREAT - except that he couldn't run as much at recess, because he immediately got really tired. Like how I went outside with him to do some yard work and felt like my body couldn't figure out how to increase breathing and heart rate.
I wasn't physically out of breath, but I felt like I was out of breath. That COVID feeling people describe, of "I'm not getting enough air." Except that I didn't have that problem when I had COVID.) Some people don't observe any long (or medium) term side effects after they have it.
But researchers have found viral reservoirs of COVID-19 in everyone they've studied who had it.
It just seems to hang out, dormant, for... well, longer than we've had an opportunity to observe it, so far.
(I definitely watched that literal horror movie. I think that's an entire genre. The alien dormant under ice in the Arctic.)
(oh hey I don't like that either!!!!!!!!!) All of which is to explain why we should still care about avoiding it, and how it manages to still cause excess deaths. Measuring excess deaths has been a standard tool in public health for a long time.
We know how many people usually die from all different causes, every year. So we can tell if, for example, deaths from heart disease have gone way up in the past three years, and look for reasons. Those are excess deaths: deaths that, four years ago, would not have happened. During the pandemic, excess death rates have been a really important tool. For all sorts of reasons. Like, sometimes people die from COVID without ever getting tested, and the official cause is listed as something else because nobody knows they had COVID. But also, people are dying from cardiovascular illness much younger now.
People are having strokes and heart attacks younger, and more often, than they did before the pandemic started. COVID causes a lot of problems. And some of those problems kill people. And some of them make it easier for other things to kill us. Lung damage from COVID leading to lungs collapsing, or to pneumonia, or to a pulmonary embolism, for example. The Economist built a machine-learning model with a 95% confidence interval that gauges excess death statistics around the world, to tell them what the true toll of the ongoing COVID pandemic has been so far.
Total excess deaths globally in 2023: Three million.
3,000,000.
Official COVID-19 deaths globally so far: Seven million. 7,000,000. Total excess deaths during COVID so far: Thirty-five point two million. 35,200,000.
Five times as many.
That's bad. I don't like that at all. I'm glad last year was less than a tenth of that. I'm not particularly confident about that continuing, though, because last year we started a period of really high COVID transmission. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. Here's their data, and charts you can play with, and links to detailed information on how they did all of this:
Here's a non-paywalled link to it:
https://archive.vn/2024.01.26-012536/https://www.economist.com/graphic-detail/coronavirus-excess-deaths-estimates
Oh: here's a link to where you can buy comfy, effective N95 masks in all sizes:
Those ones are about a buck each after shipping - about $30 for a box of 30. They also have sample packs for a dollar, so you can try a couple of different sizes and styles.
You can wear an N95 mask for about 40 total hours before the effectiveness really drops, so that's like a dollar for a week of wear.
They're also family-owned and have cat-shaped masks and I really love them. These ones are cuter and in a much wider range of colors, prints, and styles, but they're also more expensive; they range from $1.80 to $3 for a mask. ($18-$30 for a box of ten.)
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this essentially is a description of a concentration camp complete with testimony from concentration camp guards whos perspectives range from 'occasionally sympathetic to the people theyre overseeing the torture of' to the exact type of matter-of-fact indifference you will be very familiar with if you've read the interviews of nazis. quotes below from multiple people interviewed
"The thing is that when I was there, it all somehow looked normal to me, because there are excuses [for sending them to the camp's hospital], and the medical work takes place in a normal, familiar space. But in the end, what's happening there is total dehumanization. You don't really relate to them as if they're real human beings. It's easy to forget that when they don't move and you don't have to talk to them. You just have to check off that some medical procedure was done, and along the way you remove the whole human dimension of medicine." [...] "When you come to the camp, the first thing that hits you is the smell. The place really stinks, in an extreme way. When there's a little wind, maybe it's possible to shift your position a little so you can avoid [the smell]. But nearby it was intolerable." What does it smell like? "Like the smell of dozens of people who have been sitting in close quarters for more than a month in the same clothes and in insane heat. They let them shower for a few minutes around twice a week, but I don't remember ever seeing that they gave them a change of clothes, in any case not on my shifts." [...] "I came there with the mindset of a soldier. Let us do our time, without asking anything, and then go home. But two incidents happened in the wake of which I couldn't continue there any longer. The first was in one of the pens. Guys came from the escort force, who in my opinion were military police reservists. They came in like big shots, with ski masks, and led three or four detainees out. They made them walk bent over, handcuffed and with flannelette on their faces. Each of them held the shirt of the person in front of him. And then suddenly I saw one of the police officers, right at the entrance to the pen, take the head of the first detainee and 'boom,' smash him with force into some iron part of the door. And then he smashed him again and said 'Yalla.' The moment I saw that I went into total shock. It was simply right opposite me… suddenly I saw someone with the thought going through his head that, 'Fine, this is not a human being. I can simply bash his head against the door. Just because I feel like it.' The nonchalant way he did it stunned me. He didn't look angry or full of hatred, he even laughed at it." [...] "The detainee's story [mentioned earlier in interview], and the fact that he started to cry in the end [made it dramatic.] It was a very human and surprising display after all the preparation and the things they tell you there. They keep pumping it into your brain that you have to disconnect. That they're not people. That they're not human beings." Who said things like that? "The guys, the company commander, the officers, everyone. You know, there was a female officer who gave us a briefing on the day we arrived. She said, 'It will be hard for you. You'll want to pity them, but it's forbidden. Remember that they aren't people. From your point of view, they are not human beings. The best thing is to remember who they are and what they did in October.'
read the entire article. this is a fascist mentality identical to the third reich
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Gala Buddies
Sam Manson glares out across the sea of the rich, snobby ‘elite.’ The people mingling with one another, all fake smiles and false niceties slipping from their lips easily. Every face a mask they put on to hide their true selves from the view of the public. They made Sam sick. She hated Galas, particularly the ones that took her away from Amity.
So of course, her parents had insisted that they simply must attend the gala in Gotham being held by none other than Bruce Wayne. They couldn’t miss out on the opportunity to see their old pal again.
Though Sam thought it was more like they wanted to suck up to the man for some business venture.
Or try to set her up with one of his sons again.
At least she got to see Gotham’s architecture. That was a positive, she concluded. She’d get some cool photos out of the trip to show Danny and Tucker back home. And maybe she’d get to see one of Gotham’s infamous vigilantes up close, she could try to learn anything from gauging the way they handled themselves that might be useful for Danny.
Sam readjusted her stance, the fabric of the obnoxiously pink dress making her legs itch uncomfortably. Her mother had gone through her luggage before they left when Sam hadn’t been looking and slipped in the monstrosity she was currently wearing, and removing the dresses she had selected for this torturous night. She was becoming moodier, and ‘crabbier’ as Tucker and Danny might have put it, by the second.
Maybe she could ‘accidentally’ trip into the chocolate fountain and ruin the dress. At least then she’d be getting some form of retribution for being forced into the frilly cocoon of humiliation. And it’s not like her parents would be able to scold her too much in front of all the other rich schmuks attending the party. As Sam was eyeing the chocolate fountain she noticed in her peripheral vision a person approaching her.
“Not in a party mood I take it?” Asked whoever had walked up to her.
Sam turned to examine the guy in front of her. He looked to be roughly her age, dark skin and a fancy suit that he looked uncomfortable in. A nervous energy permitted off of him, Sam guessed he wasn’t used to these sorts of events and was unashamedly out of his depth.
“Nah, not particularly,” Sam offered with a shrug, “you seem like you want to be here as much as I do.”
“Ah yeah,” the guy rubbed the back of his neck and smiled sheepishly, “I’m kinda only here because my brother didn’t want to be here alone and most of our other siblings were unavailable aside from my sister and I. But now he’s off talking to a friend of his that happened to be here, and my sister’s disappeared to who knows where.”
“That’s rough buddy,” Sam offers him a sympathetic smile.
The guy snorts before asking, “did you just quote Zuko?” And Sam grins. He holds out his hand to her, “Duke Thomas.”
Sam shakes his hand, “Sam Manson. Nice to meet you, Duke.”
Duke visibly appears to relax a little and the air of nervousness around his somewhat dissipates. He shifts of his feet for a moment before deciding on something. “So,” he starts, “if you weren’t stuck here what you normally be doing with your time?”
“Probably playing Doom with my two best friends back home,” Sam doesn’t mention anything about the ghosts. She hopes Danny and Tucker are alright in their own.
“Oh cool,” Duke smiles and Sam would be lying if she said she’d never seen someone so perfectly embody literal sunshine like he did. “I usually play videos games with my siblings. Mario Kart can get super competitive though.”
Sam raised an eyebrow at that, intrigued. “How competitive?”
Duke grimaces slightly but looks amused at the same time, “well, tables have been flipped and expensive things broken. And everyone lost Alfred’s cookie privileges for a week.” He ground out that last part as though it physically pained him.
“Damn. They must be some good cookies if you’re that bummed about it.”
“Your have no idea. Alfred’s cookies are the best thing in the world. Fights have broken out over them.”
“Your family sound insane,” Sam chuckles and quickly adds, “in a good way.”
Duke grins at her, “yeah they’re kinda crazy sometimes, but they’re great. Really. I don’t know what I’d do without them.”
“It must be nice, having siblings like that.”
“Do you have any siblings?”
“Nah,” Sam shakes her head, “only child.”
Before either of them know or Sam and Duke have been talking for nearly the entire gala. They remained glued to one another chatting even as one or both of them wanted to grab something to eat from the buffet table. Their interactions didn’t go unnoticed by Bruce and the others.
Sam couldn’t remember the last time she had such a normal and fun conversation with someone other than Danny or Tucker.
The end of the night came too soon, Sam felt. Things were winding down and people were bidding others farewell. She could see her parents speaking with Bruce Wayne, possibly thanking him for a wonderful night.
“Looks like I’ll probably be leaving soon,” Sam deflated a little.
Duke pondered something for a moment but seemed to reach a decision quickly. He pulled out his phone and offered it to Sam, “here, give me your number. We can keep talking later. If you want that is.”
And Sam couldn’t find any reason to say no, especially when Duke was smiling like that. “Sure,” he took the phone from his hand and added her number into his contacts. She pulled out her own phone and handed it to him to add his number in too.
“Well then,” Duke fighters with the end of his suit jacket.
“Sammikins!” Pamela Manson called out, “it’s time to go sweetie.”
“I’ll talk to you late?” Duke asked with a smile.
“Yeah,” Sam smiled back, “talk to you later Duke.”
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apollodeath · 1 year
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Playing Prey
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A/N: this is about reader playing a game that König and reader have already set rules to at a later time. So everything is consensual.
MDNI
18+ ONLY
Warning: consent off screen? Like they both agree and love this game but it gives off dub/con non/con, breeding kink, size kink? And Dacryphilia. Predator/prey kink. Unprotected sex
König x fem!reader
Reader is mostly referred to as you and some feminine pet names. Also V anatomy.
You’ve always played this game with König, today just seemed more exciting because König started the game by whispering in your ear this morning
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“Maus… do you want to play Prey…” his voice was deep and his accent was thick in the morning air. His game proposal made chills spread over your skin your nipples hardening from the sensation.
“Yes..” you answered softly. He smirked kissing your lips then your cheek down to your jaw and then landing on your neck to nip your skin and softly suck; bruising you softly, his hands started tracing your body. “When?” You asked knowing the place you always played was a trail in the woods behind your house. You knew the woods like the back of your hand and was already thinking of the places to hide.
“After lunch?” He questioned. He moved away from your neck staring/admiring your eyes.
“Okay, yeah.” you smiled at him softly but your mind raced with dirty thoughts.
-
All morning you’ve been at the edge of your seat waiting to sprint out the back door into the woods while König began to give you his 5 minute head start. You knew when the game started, cause he’d come up behind you, lay a kiss on your head and then set his phone down in front of you with the 5 minute timer counting down.
But today was so different he said he wanted to take a ride to somewhere new... You had to cover your eyes. He insisted. You sat in the passenger seat with your legs squished together feeling yourself nervous yet, secretly leaking with excitement. Your thumbs played on your lap.
“Nervous?” He asked, you knew he sat driver still his voice made you jump. Maybe it’s the blacked out mask that shields your eyes from any light at all or maybe the sudden hand on your bouncing leg.
“Y-yes” you feel your heart race.
“Scared already?” You could hear the smirk on his lips you didn’t need to see his face to know he got a kick out of the feeling. The feeling of making you feel small and fragile.
“Yes, König.” You looked down but it was just staring into the dark feeling the road under the car, his hand on your thigh and the soft air from the a/c blowing “are we almost there?” You asked your voice coated in nervousness.
“We..” you feel the car turn and the road gets bumpy underneath “are actually here” he states.
He stopped the car after about 10 minutes on the bumpy road “okay, süßes mädchen… mein süßes Reh” he spoke softly, deep voice and in his native language you knew meant he was calling you a dear his prey.
His finger brought your hair to his nose sniffing your scent. “Remove your eye mask…” he watched you take it off and look around at a forest that isnt familiar at all. It’s more green and thick hardly any paths and this dirt road separates two heavily wooded sides. You only drove so far in and the car is pulled to the side, off the road, yet it looks like you’re lost in the middle of it.
“How much time?” You ask looking around, your heart is racing and you’re already slightly wet between the legs, your eyes go back to him sitting beside you.
He holds his phone up it reads “9:59” and starts counting down.
You swing the car door open and slam it behind you sprinting into the woods, fast… well as fast as you can the unfamiliar trees slow you down as you keep looking back to spot the car getting farther away.
‘Faster!’ Your brain thinks getting scared you’ll turn around and see him there. König is fast, faster than you. When you two play Prey at home you rely on hiding spots to get away from him, it’s no surprise he can out run you, he’s so b i g.
You haven’t stopped running and your breath is heavy and your legs are feeling the slight burn you see a little bush and fallen tree that looks like a good place to rest it’s out of site from every angle, you rest in the middle trying to calm your breath but also listening to your surroundings.
Your breath catches in your throat when you hear a car door close. You know it’s him and you aren’t nearly far enough plus the top of your ‘hiding place’ is open he’ll be able to see right in. You get up and start running again slightly turning to head in a different direction.
König sniffs in the clear crisp air of the forest, his own heart beats feel like pounding in his chest, his excitement is turned into energy. His eyes are darting at his view, he smirked.
König’s dirty mind thought of the last time he caught you the sunset had fallen on you two and he found you curled up under a pine tree, because of how dark it was you figured he couldn’t see you as easy, your mistake, he locked eyes with you and to his surprise you froze in fear and the look you gave him made his cock drip pre-cum and throb in his pants.
He shook the feeling off feeling his cock slowly twitch as he looked at the open forest. Not even being able to hear you running… you must be far. He’s impressed. He drew his hood over his head and he felt like the killing machine he is.
-
You found a ton of trees and bushes all together and what made it better is the leafs covered the top, you crawled in and noticed you only had the one exit. You kneeled catching your breath once more ‘He’s probably so close’ you thought knowing he wasted no time looking for you and he didn’t need breathers, his hunger to devour you fueled him. You tried looking through the branches but the bushes were too thick to see out, which was good but also bad. You wait a could seconds listening for him, you don’t hear anything but the occasional bird.
You slowly poke your head out looking everywhere, seeing nothing. The sun was in golden hour painting the trees in warm colors.
You then bolt further into the woods, you see that rocks are coming up and the sound of running water. You run up to it and the tiny river is just three steps wide so you act fast, sprinting through it and on the other side you see more rocks and some trees more like the paths at home. Your eyes scan for a second spotting a tiny little cave in the ground/hill you go to it sitting in it it’s covered and also just rocks and moss inside you had survival mode on but in all seriousness it was survival against König never a passing thought of wildlife.
You stay longer here time had past and you’re just listening, you’ve found a great spot.
‘He probably doesn’t even know this cave exists.’
‘Has he even passed the river?’
‘Was I supposed to stay on the other side of it?’
‘Did he go the other wa-‘
Your thoughts are cut off by the sound of König’s boot snapping the twigs as you once did while running into this cave.
‘He’s found me…’ you thought your heart jumped and everything in your body said freeze but you knew you had better chances if you ran again. But how close is he? Will running be in vain.
You felt like time stood still as you made a break for it you were going fast but everything felt in slow motion as you started running but looked back seeing his back to you.
‘he wasn’t even looking in the right direction! Why did I run?!’ You thought but just kept running even faster only turning back to see him facing you just standing there you internally screamed knowing he was gonna start running after you.
You were ducking and diving in these trees just trying to hide your tracks finally finding a dark enough place as the sun had reached the point where it was hard to see clearly. The colors were muted and your clothes were black that made it easier to blend into the wet dark ground.
You squatted behind a tree catching your breath and then heard his heavy foot steps running and you cupped your mouth in your hands to silence your breathing and your body froze as he runs right past you. You watched him get farther and your heart skipped a beat but no time to think you got up and ran the opposite way back where you came. Pass the cave, through the river and you get back into the little covered hiding spot from earlier, now it was even harder to see out.
‘I might win’ you thought, you never had won before but if the sun set completely we call it off and both head to the car… or that’s what we’ve said before.
‘I wonder how far he’s running’ you thought but looked down noticing a cut on your leg. “Shit” you said in a whisper and licked your finger wiping the blood and dirt off, it wasn’t bad so you shrugged it off but your body froze hearing him. He had the audacity to whistle.
His foot steps are close, too close to run.
“Did you think you’d win?” His voice broke the silence. It was deep and heavy as he had been running.
You covered your mouth frozen ‘how?’
“I told you millions of times… my dear… give yourself more than one exit.” He stepped in front of the opening all you saw were his boots to the tops of his knees. He slowly squatted locking eyes with you his hood masked his whole face except his eyes, of course. Something about his mask made you feral. He slowly got down on his hands and you slowly pushed yourself back deeper in putting your back against the tree, a feeling ran it’s way down your spine to your core making your pussy coated in your own slick. He smirked under his hood, his eyes glimmer and his energy gives off dangerous. A real predator.
You watch and for what feels like an eternity you stare at one another, the air still. Your heart beat so fast that you feel like it’s not beating at all.
He lunges forward coming into your hiding place and grabs your ankles dragging you closer, you fight, but he’s stronger pinning you down and ripping your clothes off leaving you defenseless, vulnerable, naked in an unknown forest. As you try pushing him off he just unzips his pants releasing his massive cock slick with pre-cum, his tip is deep pink, begging to be pounding inside you. You buck your hips trying to get him off of you, it’s a sorry attempt. He’s stronger and has so much training from his job it’s impossible. Your feel yourself wanting to be ruined, fucked until you can’t remember your own name, but you can’t let him have it so easy.
“Tsk tsk tsk now you are trying? It’s a bit too late for that mein süßes Reh” He teased. Mocking how easy you were to find.
“You almost didn’t find me!” You tried thrashing “when I was in the cave!” you struggle saying it because his left hand is on your throat/chest and his right hand holding your left wrist to the ground so tightly you know it’ll bruise.
“Is that right?” He teased more. Slightly chuckling to himself.
His legs are in between yours and he skillfully brings his leg up and separates your thighs with his, pinning your legs wide open.
“Let. Me. Go” you say every pause being an attempt to move him with your free hand. You wanted him to fuck your brains out but you knew the fight made him for violent and hard. You loved the feeling of his heavy body on yours, the slight pain that came with it, the mocking, teasing made you feel weak and sometimes made you cry out of defeat but it only made you wetter.
“Oh?” He looked down at your pretty, soaked cunt. “You sure you want me to let you go?” He leaned over meeting you face to face you could feel his breath hot on you even from under the mask “you look s’slick mien Maus, you smell hot and sweet…” he leaned to your ear whispering deeply “good enough to eat.” He said through tightened teeth. With that said he shoved in your tight hole his cock stretching you out fast, making you yelp out of shock but also it was instantly pleasure filled your whole body. You bit back a moan and let out a shaky breath in its place.
He bit his lip hard as he tried not to spill his own cum already. You were so wet he glided right in no hitches just a slippery, velvety cunt he loved. His cock was plunged deep, his balls rested on your ass. He held back a soft groan but starts a soft whimpering pant.
“König!” You screamed knowing in the forest no one could hear you no matter how loud you moaned or screamed. He pinned you to the ground harder as he thrusted fast and hard. His breath heavy matching yours. His moans and your own moans mix in the silence. Every thrust is a grunt. He has sweat building on his chest and back, his shirt clings to him. The sound of your bodies colliding again and again sounds so intoxicating it fills the space in.
“How scared were you…” he pauses in your tight cunt twitching and throbbing against your walls. “… when you saw me… at the cave” he wouldn’t admit it but he was buying time, stalling… he felt his orgasm at the edge and he knew if he didn’t slow down he’d meet his end.
“Very scared, please stop!” you said ‘stop’ which meant don’t stop please keep going. You felt your own climax begging to be released but you held on wanting more pleasure.
“I’m gonna fill you with my cum… So no one else can have you” he growled leaning his face to rest in the crook of your neck he began thrusting again this time getting deeper in you his hands held your waist tight as he pounded into you the sound of slapping skin echoed louder then before. You let your head back into the dirt feeling your eyes shut tight as he fucked the orgasm out of you, you held back as mush as you could; you were getting to the edge fast and nothing helped. You griped on his shoulders and back scratching him slightly though his shirt blocked some of the damage, your legs lock around his waist and your eyes roll back as your climax hits and you squeeze his cock with your walls.
“Good girl.” He says in a breathless tone he feels himselfs get to his own orgasm but he fights to keep it at bay still pumping in you. It being a bit harder cause your pussy is so tight and pulsing, basically milking him.
“Please… please cum in me” you moan and whimper your request. He leans back on his knees to watch your face as he fucks you.
“I’m gonna breed you over and over as much as I want my dear” he growled.
You began to cry from overstimulation you tried closing your eyes but your tears flooded leaking on to your cheeks
The simple site of you crying and whimpering made König bury himself deep in you and release his load of several white streams. He moaned as his cock pulsed inside you, his toes curling in his boots and his back curling towards you. Resting his face on your chest/neck he lets his breath fall hot on your skin. He’s panting like dog.
He slowly pushed himself up still in you, he’s looking down at your puffy eyes and glistening body and slowly rocked his hips against you to stuff his cum in you. König pulled out and a single string of cum followed but he took his finger and wiped it and stuffed it back in you. You shook from the sensitivity. He looked up at you still catching his own breath licking his finger clean.
“how did you find me?" you ask after a few seconds.
König laughs "lets go home Schatz”
A/N: hopefully not too many errors/typos I wrote it purely cause I’d love to play this “game” with him he’s so hot and the fear of him running behind me gets my heart pumping arffrjsjsjns ANYWAY thanks for reading 💕
Part 2 here!
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manheimsmuse · 8 months
Text
SAVE A HORSE ; WALLY CLARK
a/n; inspired by this post by @stevensrealgf !
warnings; 18+, mndi, afab!reader, fem!pronouns, established relationship, smut under the cut, unprotected sex i don’t know how many times i have to tell you guys not to do this, fingering, filthy talk, wally clark talks you through it. not proofread !
you sat beside charley on the edge of the stage, watching as rhonda sat on wally’s back as he did pushups. charley had made a quiet joke to you about wally showing off to ‘impress a certain someone’.
your relationship with wally was unknown to the others, both you and wally agreeing that you’d like to keep it to yourselves for as long as possible to prolong the peace you both found in one another.
however, wally wasn’t as good at hiding the fact he had a crush on you.
you’d stopped paying attention by the time wally had risen to his feet, lazily returning your gaze to him after a sarcastic comment he made to rhonda.
“who’s next?” he asked with a boyish grin, attention focused on you and charley now “charley? wanna ride the pony?”
you choke on your laugh, doubled over with a hand clamped over your mouth to dampen your laughter.
“what’s funny, princess?” wally questions with a quirked brow, hands resting on his hips as he looks at you expecting an answer “you think i couldn’t lift him?”
the mischievous look on his face proves to you that he knows exactly why you’re laughing, but he’s not giving you the satisfaction of seeing him all red faced and flustered.
“oh, i’m sure you can” you respond sarcastically, hopping off the stage and patting his shoulder as you pass by “you boys have fun!”
there’s no masked intent in your words, if wally wanted to try lift charley then more power to him, but you were getting bored of the gym.
not long after you’d settled down in the student lounge wally joins you, presumably only taking so long because he wasn’t sure where you went. without a word he joins you on the couch, relaxing back into his seat as you kick your feet up into his lap with a teasing “have fun?”
“awh, is my little princess all jealous i didn’t ask her instead?” wally cooes patronisingly, palm running back and forth against your thigh “you wanna ride the pony, baby?”
your bottom lip is trapped between your teeth, unsure if you wanted to laugh him off or indulge his antics. naturally, you choose the latter.
as you slide onto wally’s lap his hands instantly find your waist, gently pulling you closer as you place one leg on either side of his body.
“that’s it, baby” he grins, a hand coming up to grip your chin “there’s my pretty girl” he mumbles, guiding your mouth to his in order to press a soft kiss to your lips.
the tender moment is short lived, movements becoming more frantic as you both work on the others clothes, your hips involuntarily grinding against wally’s the moment his mouth meets your neck.
“fuck, baby” wally groans against your neck, fingers digging into your hips to guide your movements “so needy already?”
you roll your eyes at his cockiness, even if you are gasping out his name when his clothed erection brushes against your covered clit. your hands fumble as you attempt to remove the little clothing left in your way until you’re both in your underwear.
“shit, you really are needy huh?” wally chuckles, his fingers gathering your wetness as his hand slips into your panties “my perfect girl, always so desperate for my cock.”
he plunges two fingers into you without warning, moving at a pace that has your head falling back and your moans echoing through the empty room.
“o-oh, god.” you whine, feeling the band in your stomach tightening at an alarming rate when his thumb presses against your clit, his fingers still fucking into you.
the moment he feels you tighten around his digits he withdraws his hand, pushing his soaked fingers into his mouth before answering you cries of frustration.
“hey, hey! said you were gonna ride me, remember?” his soft voice is a stark contrast to the look on his face “can’t have you cumming on my hand now, pretty baby”
he helps you position yourself, hissing out a curse when your hand wraps around him to make sure he was in place, and when you finally sink down onto him it takes every ounce of willpower he has to not flip the two of you so he’s on top.
you waste no time in making good on your word, starting to move back and forth on him slowly before gradually settling into a rhythm.
“doing such a good job, princess.” wally groans, gripping you even tighter as you bounce on his cock “taking me so well, fuck baby, look so pretty riding me”
“so close, wally” you warn through a moan, nails digging into his skin as you grip his shoulders.
wally let’s out a grunt of acknowledgment, any self control he had left vanishing when you start clenching around him, prompting him to start fucking up into you at a harder pace.
“me too, baby.” he murmurs, mouth latching onto your clavicle to mark the skin “you feel so good, princess, gonna make me cum in your pretty little pussy. you want that, pretty girl? you want me to come in you?”
your eyes roll back as he talks, mouth falling open and shut with nothing but a string of lewd noises as opposed to coherent sentences.
“please, wally.”
your mewled permission was all wally needed, his thumb rubbing harsh, fast circles into your clit as he continued to buck up into you, his pace getting sloppy as you feel him swelling inside you.
“that’s it, princess, there you go” he grits through his teeth, not stopping until you get over the edge too “so fucking pretty when you make a mess on my cock, my gorgeous girl.”
you’re a mess by the time you’ve both halted your movements, wally is still buried inside you as you fall forward against his chest making you quietly moan at the sensation.
“you did such a good job, baby.” wally cooes, placing a kiss to the top of your head “gonna have to get you to ride me more often.”
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navybrat817 · 7 months
Note
Anything special for Bucky's birthday?
Something small, nonnie.
For Years or for Hours
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Summary: Bucky is the love of your life and deserves to have a peaceful birthday.
Word Count: Almost 1.2k
Warnings: Established relationship, fluff, implied explicit sexual content, being in love, slight feels (it's me, okay?), Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?).
A/N: I wanted to do something more, but today got away from me. ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
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The sun had just risen outside of Bucky’s hut in Wakanda, the rays peeking in and beckoning you to wake up and venture out into the world. You weren't ready to rise and meet the day quite yet. Not when Bucky was beside you, holding you in his sleep like you he’d lose you if he loosened his grip. You wouldn't dare disturb his slumber. Not when he more than anyone deserved to rest peacefully.
So you decided to count the freckles on his nose.
“My beautiful man,” you whispered, placing your left hand on his cheek. “Love of my life.”
The wedding band on your ring finger matched his in design, symbols of the never ending love you had for each other. Time stood still and moved all at once when you said “I do”, but forever didn’t start with your wedding day. It began the day you met. Every moment after that paved a path that entwined, neither of you having to walk alone again.
“One,” you whispered, kissing a freckle on the tip of his nose. You’d never get over the sight of him. “Two…”
You didn’t know Bucky had freckles until he was in your face during a training session, the definition of up close and personal. It was right before you shared your first kiss, which was ages ago and felt like yesterday. He rolled on top of you and pinned your arms above your head, his breathing heavy and eyes stormy as you gazed up at him. Instead of trying to break free of his strong hold, you went lax underneath him and smiled.
“Are you yielding?” He asked, releasing one of your wrists when you made no attempt to move.
“Wow. You have freckles,” you exhaled, brushing his soft brown hair back that fell in his eyes. “I never noticed them before.”
It was as if Bucky removed an invisible mask and allowed you to see his true self for the first time before he pressed his lips to yours. It sparked a flame inside of you that no one could ever put out. And if being in love with him taught you anything, it was that masks hid your true selves and built walls to keep others out. You helped each other knock them down.
He was your partner in every sense of the word.
“Mmm. Tickles,” he mumbled as you kept kissing his nose, his voice throaty and low as he opened his eyes. His broad torso rolled as he arched his back and you had to suppress a shiver when he groaned. “Were you counting my freckles again?”
“You caught me,” you whispered, pecking his nose once more and not embarrassed in the slightest. “I can’t help it. You’re so pretty.”
Amusement filled his eyes as he slid a palm down your ribs to your hip. “I thought you were the pretty one in this relationship, Mrs. Barnes.”
Your cheeks warmed at the reminder that you were his wife. “We can both be pretty, Mr. Barnes,” you teased, tilting your head back so he could brush his scruff against your neck. You joked once that people called him the White Wolf because he liked to “scent” and leave his mark on you. “I didn’t mean to wake you. Go back to sleep.”
“Why should I go back to sleep, hmm?” He asked, placing an open-mouthed kiss over your racing pulse. It was enough to make you whimper when you tried to find your words. “Cat got your tongue?”
“You menace,” you moaned, tugging on his hair for good measure, which only made him let out that lustful groan you loved. “Because it’s your birthday and you deserve to sleep in, old man.”
His first birthday as a married man.
“And we won't say how old I am today,” he said, his hair falling in his eyes as he pulled back and smirked. “And I was kind of hoping I'd wake up with my cock in your mouth.”
“Bucky,” you breathed out, fighting the urge to laugh at his admission as the tingle between your thighs grew. Whatever thought was in your mind went away. It didn't matter. All you could imagine were his eyes staring down at you in wonder and ecstasy as you took him in your throat. “You know what? Fine. Your wish is my command.”
You’d please him with whichever hole he wanted to use.
“But I’m awake,” he teased, chuckling when you silenced him with your lips. He didn't let you pull away, feeling as if the hut tilted on its axis as he deepened the kiss you started. It was like your first kiss all over again. The promise of something more.
A lifetime together.
“Pretend you're asleep,” you suggested when you grudgingly pulled away from his sinful lips. “But if Steve and Sam ask, we woke up to watch the sun rise.”
Bucky’s eyes flashed when you smiled, your heart rate picking up. “Don't talk about those punks when you're about to go down on me,” he half growled.
“Yes, White Wolf,” you teased. They would no doubt message him birthday wishes, along with Natasha and a few others, once they were awake. He deserved all the love today and every day.
Before you could kiss down Bucky's body, he stopped you with a gentle grip. “Wait,” he whispered, his eyes searching your face. You didn't know a gaze could be so soft until he looked upon you. This was a man who knew your hopes, dreams, fears.
And loved you all the while.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” You asked when he reached for your left hand.
“I just love you so much, doll,” he said, running his thumb over the ring as your eyes filled with tears. You blinked them away quickly enough to catch his tender smile. “Thank you for bringing me here.”
When you got home, you’d celebrate his special day in regular fashion. You’d take him to the new science exhibit that he mentioned wanting to see. The two of you would cuddle up to watch his favorite movie after dinner with the gang. He’d eat the cake you baked just for him. And there would be a present or two for him to open before you went to bed.
But the gift he wanted most was to have a day without a reminder of the fight. Where he could breathe in the air, take in the quiet, and feel a sense of peace with the person he loved beside him. You knew the only way to give him that was to get him out of the city and back to his hut. Even if it was only for a short time.
In his sanctuary, he’d find tranquility on his special day and you’d show him how much you loved him. Memories the two of you would carry for a lifetime. Because he gave you the world by asking you to be his and you’d spend forever making him happy. Just like he deserved.
“I love you, too, Bucky Barnes,” you promised, kissing the freckle again on the tip of his nose. “Happy birthday.”
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Oh, Bucky. We love him. Love and thanks for reading! ❤️
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
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helaintoloki · 1 month
Note
Now that we know how Ben was a bit rebellious when he was a teen, how are we feeling about a fic where he used to sneak out to meet with reader, who is very much a sunshine person?
a/n: ty for requesting and i hope you enjoy ! also to clarify the ben in this piece is the original ben and not the sparrow
warnings: language
summary: ben manages to sneak out and pay a visit to his favorite person
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At the exact stroke of twelve o’clock, three pebbles are thrown against the glass of your window to alert you of the waiting presence below. You’re quick to drop the book you’d been reading and lift the glass to greet your midnight visitor who immediately begins to climb through and into your bedroom.
“You’re late,” you tell him with an impatient look as he finally sets foot on your plush rug.
“I know, I’m sorry,” Ben confesses apologetically before dusting himself off and removing his shoes. “Dad stayed up later than I thought he would.”
“What about Luther?”
“He swore to secrecy after I threatened to tell Allison he wet his pants last week because he couldn’t get his uniform off fast enough to use the bathroom,” the boy explains with a cheeky smile, laughing at the playful nudge you give him.
“That’s evil,” you scold him with a giggle that conveys your lack of conviction.
“Sometimes a man just has to resort to blackmailing his brother in order to successfully sneak out,” he expresses with an innocent shrug before enveloping your frame into a tight hug to emphasize his point. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too. It’s been lonely without you around,” you admit as the ghost of a frown begins to form on your lips.
“Are your parents gone again?”
“Another business trip,” you confirm as nonchalantly as possible in hopes of masking your hurt at their neglect. “Won’t be home for at least two weeks, so it’s just me here.”
“I promise to sneak out and see you as much as I can,” Ben vows earnestly, carefully cupping your cheek in his hand and pulling your face closer to his own so that he may press a comforting kiss to your forehead.
“It isn’t so bad,” you admit with a lighthearted smile as you pull away from him and move towards your closet to retrieve something. “You want to see what I found at the bookstore today?”
Ben isn’t given a chance to answer your hypothetical question as you display the said item for him to see. It takes a moment for the boy to realize what it is he’s looking at, but once it processes an unamused huff of air leaves through his nostrils in response.
“Please tell me you didn’t actually spend money on that thing.”
“Technically I stole money from my mom’s purse to buy it, so no, I didn’t,” you correct him defensively before proudly holding up your purchase. “I figured if the real Ben can’t keep me company twenty-four-seven, then action figure Ben can.”
“That’s ridiculous!” He cries out indignantly before snatching the thing out of your grasp to scrutinize the details. “It doesn’t even look like me!”
“Of course it does!”
Shaking his head in bewilderment, Ben can only sigh and hand the doll back to you before moving to make himself comfortable on your bed. Having decided you’ve teased him enough for one night, you set the figure on your nightstand before moving to join him. It’s almost as if you naturally fit perfectly into his side when you curl up next to him and bask in the warmth of his arms around you. Nights like these have become more rare with time, so you like to make the most of it while you can.
“We should run away together,” you suggest casually after a comfortable bout of silence. You feel Ben’s chest rise beneath your fingertips with the amused laugh that leaves him in response.
“And where would we go?”
“Anywhere we want.”
“As enticing as that sounds, I can’t,” he reminds you. Frowning, you shift your frame and prop your head up on your hand so that you’re facing him.
“Why not?” You retort indignantly, almost offended by his immediate rejection. “My parents constantly forget that I exist and your dad is a complete asshole. Why should we stick around?”
“Look, my dad is a jerk, and I would love to just drop the whole super hero thing and never look back. But I can’t… I can’t just leave my siblings behind,” Ben explains gently while reaching out to push a stray strand of hair away from your face.
“So you’ll just wait for them to leave you behind instead?” You retort, aggrieved on his own behalf at the thought.
“They wouldn’t do that-“
“Five already did.”
A tense silence follows your words, and you bite your lip in regret at having let it slip. You know you’ve gone too far judging by the flash of hurt that passes on Ben’s face, and you’re quick to apologize for your lack of eloquent conversation skills.
“I don’t mean to be harsh,” you quietly clarify as you meet his understanding gaze. “I just don’t think it’s fair we both have to stick around and suffer because we got stuck with shitty parents. I want to get out of here, Ben. Don’t you?”
He pauses for a beat, his voice soft as he finally answers, “I do. And I promise you that one day we will. We just have to hold out for a little longer is all.”
“You swear?” You ask meekly, almost afraid he’ll change his mind and take it back. However, Ben takes your free hand in his own and gives it a reassuring squeeze before replying, “I swear on my life.”
Placated by the sincerity of his words, you’re happy to resume your previous position of being nestled into his side as he begins to tell you the latest tales of the Umbrella Academy, and you can live comfortably without the knowledge of knowing that Ben has made a promise he soon won’t be able to keep.
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astraystayyh · 3 months
Text
Starry night.
in which you and hyune fall in love through paintings.
idol!hyunjin x museum guide!reader. love at first sight, kinda. both mc and hyune are romantics.. lots of art analysis and conversations. very fluffy and soft. like so soft i hurt myself with this you guys.
all the info about Vincent Van Gogh’s life and works are from the Van Gogh Museum. the interpretations are my own but im not an art critic, obvi, just a yearner 💔 please enjoy, feedback is highly appreciated 💞
thank you to the lovely reader who commissioned me!!!! the money went to our stayblr fundraiser for palestine. please consider donating if you are able too as well <3333
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“You’ll be able to do it, right?” Your manager Martin looks at you expectantly, and you blink slowly in response. It, referring to leading a private tour of the Van Gogh exhibition.
You’ve been a museum guide in New York for four months now. When you’re not painting, you’re here, amidst the array of artworks nestled in a quaint street near East River. You’ve led group tours before, always under the watchful eye of Martin, a middle-aged man who never forgets to bring you a vanilla bourbon macaron every morning.
However, you’ve never handled a private tour before. You see the desperation in Martin’s eyes as he awaits your answer—he’s the one who usually handles these tours, but he has urgent family matters to suddenly attend to.
You blink again, your tongue unknotting in a split second. “I’d be happy to,” you beam. The exhibition feels like a second home to you; you’ve visited it countless times long before you started working here.
Martin heaves a sigh of relief, smiling back at you. “I believe in you,” he reassures, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. “Remember why I chose you.”
You grin at his words, nodding vigorously. Your love for art brought you here; your very being seems molded to breathe in paintings and live among them. It’s as sweet a life as it can get.
“You’ll find all the details about our guest in our log. He’s famous, so he’ll be a bit discreet. He’ll expect you to be too,” he explains, hurriedly packing his things. You nod, taking the keys to the art gallery from his hand.
“Don’t worry, the gallery is safe in my hands.”
“I know,” he says with a comforting smile, before finally waving goodbye. You take a deep breath and check the booking for tonight’s exhibition—Hwang Hyunjin.
The name is unfamiliar to you, and so is the face that greets you at 8 p.m. sharp—at least, what you can see of it. He’s wearing a navy cap and a face mask, with a varsity jacket sitting perfectly atop his broad shoulders. He looks young, roughly your age.
“Hi, welcome to our Van Gogh exhibition,” you greet him with a grin. He bows slightly in response.
“No one’s here, so you can remove your mask if you wish. I can take your bag as well,” you offer with a smile. He nods and hands you his black duffel bag, which you quickly pass to the security guard, who places it inside a safe cabinet.
Hyunjin removes his Versace cap, running a hand through his silky black hair. There is an aura of assurance around him, as if he’s poised before a camera in a professional photoshoot. But then, a shy smile appears on his face as he finally removes his face mask, his eyes glinting beneath the golden lighting.
You feel your breath catch in your throat; for a split second, the world around you seems to still, the paintings dimming before the beautiful face in front of you.
“Right,” you clear your throat, “shall we?”
Hyunjin nods, falling easily into step with you. You pause before the first painting, ‘Woman with a Child on her Lap’, 1883.
“This is rumored to be about Sien Hoornik, who became both Vincent’s lover and model. She was a former prostitute, pregnant at the time, and had a five-year-old daughter. Vincent was determined to help her through her hardships, and they dated for a year and a half. But then, he broke it off because he said she was too far gone to be saved.”
Hyunjin nods, his eyes fixated on the painting, his head tilted slightly to the side. “The eyes are telling,” he speaks for the first time, and his voice floods your being like dewdrops reviving flowers at dawn. It is smooth and soft, the end of his words getting lost in the air and caught by your heart.
“The way the mother and daughter look at each other, I mean.” He clarifies, stealing a fleeting glance at you. “There is disdain on the mother’s face, but more toward herself, I think. Maybe because she sees her reflection in her daughter.”
Groups usually scurry past this painting, eager to see Vincent’s more renowned works. You feel your heart soften at how much he seems to be thinking about it, lost in his own world. You’re not even sure he remembers you’re there.
“Vincent was really determined to help her, although his brother Theo disapproved. His parents did too.”
“Isn’t that what love is? To hold someone’s hand even if everyone tells you to let go,” he mutters quietly, his eyes still lost in the painting. A hue of vulnerability colors his words before he clears his throat, as if unwittingly revealing his inner thoughts.
“That’s a beautiful way to view it,” you smile, and he nods, shyly biting his lower lip. For some odd reason, his timidity stirs something unfamiliarly tender within your heart.
You walk over to the next set of paintings. “When Vincent moved to Paris, you can see how his style developed. He let go of the darker tones he used in his infamous ‘The Potato Eaters’ and began using lighter colors, like here,” you explain, pointing to ‘The Hill of Montmartre with Stone Quarry’.
“Do you think it’s because he was happier?” he suddenly asks, and you frown slightly. “Pardon?”
“The shift to lighter colors. ‘The Potato Eaters’ is so sorrowful and shrouded in darkness. ‘The Hill’ is much more colorful, lighter, you know?” His eyes glide to yours, a twinkle of curiosity glimmering in them.
“Vincent did flourish in Paris. For once, he was in the same city as his brother Theo, whom he loved dearly. But he was mainly influenced by modern art, which uses much lighter colors than his previous works. Art critics usually attribute this change in the influence of his contemporaries, such as—”
“But what do you think?” he interrupts softly, leaning against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest. His eyes are penetrating, and you find yourself lost in the seas of emotion they contain.
You quiet down, licking your lips tentatively. No one has ever asked for your opinion on these tours before.
“Well,” you begin slowly, “I think it’s possible. Being around his brother and other artists who embraced brighter palettes could have uplifted his spirit. But also, maybe the light colors were his way of reaching for happiness, even if he didn’t always feel it. Art often mirrors our hopes as much as our realities.”
Hyunjin listens intently, a thoughtful look on his face. “I agree,” he finally says, smiling sincerely. You don’t know why the sight of his grin renders your brain putty, like melted ice cream under the kind sunrays.
“His use of lighter colors continued when he moved to the south of France. He was delighted with the bright colors in Arles, painting orchards in blossom and workers gathering the harvest,” you explain, pointing to the respective paintings.
“That’s when he told his brother that he wanted to open a studio for fellow painters. He wrote in a letter the following: 'you always lose when you’re isolated.' He sent out many invitations, but only one painter agreed to come.”
“Paul Gauguin,” Hyunjin swiftly replies.
“Exactly. He was the first and last painter to move in with Vincent.”
“It seemed like the more he tried to escape loneliness, the more it found him,” Hyunjin muses, his eyes fixed on ‘Portrait of Gauguin’ by Vincent. The bright colors he asked you about earlier make you wonder if, beneath the spotlight, Hyunjin too feels lonely.
“Sometimes loneliness becomes a friend. You have to make room for it to allow other things to come in,” you say softly.
“It’s sad how nothing good came out of that roommate situation, though” he frowns, and you nod in agreement.
“Paul and Vincent were very different. They had a lot of eclectic views that often led to disagreements. I assume you know their most prominent one.”
“Yes, when Vincent cut off his ear.”
“Correct, he then wrapped it in newspaper and presented it to a prostitute in the nearby red-light district.”
“A prostitute…” Hyunjin muses, his thumb swiping slightly across his lower lip. “It seems like phantoms of his first love found him again. Even in his most disoriented state, he somehow remembered her.”
“You speak of love beautifully,” you suddenly say, before biting your tongue harshly, instantly regretting your words. But Hyunjin’s eyes seem to soften as he gazes at you, the warm light dancing across his pupils.
“It is a beautiful feeling.”
“Only to those who have beautiful souls,” you speak earnestly, and your words seem to morph into brushstrokes, painting the gallery in hues of red. Intimate, soft, too intimate all of the sudden.
“Vincent’s mental health rapidly declined, and he put himself back into the mental asylum,” you quickly clear your throat, though you can still feel Hyunjin’s eyes on you, not the painting. “Still, that’s when he created some of his most famous artworks, like ‘The Starry Night’. He was inspired by the view from the asylum’s window. It’s dominated by vivid yellow and blue, and the colors and paint seem to describe a world outside the artwork itself.”
“It’s breathtaking,” Hyunjin marvels, lost in the painting, leaning in until his nose almost brushes the canvas.
You suppress a giggle, but your laughter fades as you take in the mole right by his jaw, then the one by his neck. The delicateness of his face, the plumpness of his lips, and the curve of his lashes.
He’s beautiful. The painting could seep him in and he’d fit right in with the silver stars. Outshining them too, surely.
“I really liked the tour,” he smiles, nearly two hours of lazy strolls later. “Thank you.”
“Of course,” you grin back, grabbing his outstretched hand. His fingers wrap around yours slowly, deliberately, as if on a mission to ignite your nerve endings. To set your soul ablaze with his palm alone.
His hand holds yours for a few seconds longer than necessary. Your blush mirrors his when he finally lets go.
He quickly bows again, grabbing his bag from his manager, who was waiting by the door. He almost bumps into the handle on his way out, and you let out an endeared chuckle, your eyes lingering on his figure until he disappears into his black van.
You think you'll never see him again, two lines crossing serendipitously at one point, never to cross paths once more. The thought sends a pang of sorrow latching onto your heart, before you quickly brush it away.
But then you do see him again, the very following night, at that.
It is near nine p.m. when Martin exclaims suddenly, “Mr. Hwang!” and you freeze in your place, book guide in hand.
It has been exactly twenty-four hours since you last saw Hyunjin, but when his voice softly echoes through the art gallery, it feels like a lifelong ache finally soothed.
“Please, call me Hyunjin,” he says, shaking Martin’s hand, though his eyes quickly find yours. They stay on you, unmoving yet tender, like a cotton blanket draped over your being.
“How was the tour with Miss Yn?”
“Ah—“ his gaze finally drifts away from yours. “Yes, it was really nice. That's why I came again,” he explains, a touch sheepishly, and your quizzical eyes meet Martin’s.
“Hyunjin booked another private tour. He specifically requested you to be his guide,” Martin explains, and your eyes widen in shock. You don’t have time to reply because your manager quickly scurries away. “I’ll leave you two then. Have fun!”
You wait until Martin disappears into his office before turning to Hyunjin, who avoids your gaze, one hand deep in his pocket, moving side to side. You remain silent for a few moments, simply admiring the side of his face. You’ve always had a deep appreciation for art running through your veins, after all.
“Hi,” he finally says, his eyes quickly meeting yours. You can’t stop the smile that floods your face, coating every nook and cranny of your features.
“You came back,” you say with a breathy giggle.
“Mm,” he instantly grins. “I don’t know when I’ll be back in New York, so I wanted to truly memorize the art here.”
“When are you going home?” you ask as you take his bag again, your eyes taking in his outfit—a green cap this time, a knit vest over a white shirt, and a silver teddy bear necklace nestled perfectly against it. Pretty.
“Tomorrow. We had a tour stop here, and we’ll go back to Seoul now.”
“And you’ll be spending your final night in the city here?” you chuckle slightly, and he shrugs as if it’s the most obvious decision he ever had to make.
“Why not? I think it’s beautiful here.” though his eyes never move to look onto the paintings, gliding across your face instead.
“And I forgot to take pictures yesterday,” he quickly adds, pointing to the camera in his hands.
“I’ll help you then,” you offer, and he smiles so brightly that it renders you speechless, suddenly wondering if the first person who ever drew a portrait had a similar thought—that they saw a smile so beautiful they just needed to immortalize it.
Hyunjin is at ease before the camera. You can tell by the way he almost pretends the device isn’t there, his eyes fixed on the paintings, mere centimeters away from the canvas. He’s whisked away into another world. You see your love for art mirrored in his soul as well.
“Do you paint, by any chance?” you ask between pictures, and he nods.
“Whenever I have free time. And you?”
“I do. I can show you later, if you’d like.”
“I’ll hold you to that,” he says, pointing his finger at you, before looking directly into the camera this time. “I’ve been painting magnolias lately.”
“Really? Why magnolias specifically?”
“I read a poem about them. It said that when magnolias wither, they aren’t considered beautiful anymore. But that doesn’t mean they weren’t at one point. It really moved me.”
“You have to be very optimistic to view it that way,” you say as you finally hand him the camera, satisfied with your pictures. You are both standing in front of ‘Almond Blossom,’ the pastel colors drawing you in.
“Withering flowers mean that at one point they were in full bloom. Grief means that at one point you did love,” you muse. “It takes a lot of gentleness to find beauty in endings, to celebrate them as proof of what once was. Don’t you think so?”
You turn to look at him when the flash of a camera catches you off guard.
Hyunjin looks at your picture, a soft smile on his face. “You fit right in with the flowers,” he compliments, though it does not feel superfluous or bearing a hidden intent. It’s a simple observation he wished to share.
“Thank you,” you say quietly, a blush sprouting from your very veins. You quickly fix your posture, pointing to the painting. “I told you yesterday that Vincent painted this for his brother Theo, to celebrate his newborn, whom he named after Vincent.”
“Yes, I remember,” he nods, slinging the camera over his neck and taking a picture of the painting up close. “It seemed to bring Vincent a lot of solace in his final days.”
“I’ve been thinking about your question, whether Vincent was happy. I think he was hopeful more than anything. He had hoped his works would be recognized, he had hoped he wouldn’t be as lonely anymore. Sometimes hope keeps you going much more than happiness.”
“Because happiness will eventually wear off?”
“Right, it’s only natural. But hope… it’s like a flame that never goes out. It might flicker and dim, but it will still be there on your darkest nights.” You bite your lip slightly, your thumb digging into your palm.
“I hope you’ll always have hope in your life, Hyunjin. You’ve been my favorite person to talk about Vincent with,” you say sincerely, your eyes unwavering from his.
You imprint the way his gaze softens into your mind, the slight blush that powders his cheeks, the way his teeth peek behind his smile. You memorize his velvety voice in your mind, the way he accentuates certain letters and how it pulls at the strings of your heart when he says—“I’m very happy I met you, Yn.”
May is gone, and with it Hyunjin, and you think you are a fool for thinking of him as often as you do after only five hours in his presence. You don’t know why your mind is permeated with his essence. But why wouldn’t it be? is the better question. When he’s beautiful, truly, body and soul.
You feel slightly less foolish when a postcard is delivered to your exhibition on a sunny Saturday, one month later. It depicts the front entrance of the Museum of Modern Art in Seoul.
June 13.
“yn,
i saw Vincent’s works once again in this month’s exhibition. somehow they seem less beautiful without our conversations.
i hope you’re surrounded by art, too.
hyunjin.”
June 23.
“hyunjin,
i visited claude monet’s immersive exhibition, you have to visit it as well, once you’re back in new york.
i am still surrounded by art, as always. i don’t think i could ever part from it.
did you finish your magnolias? i hope you’re seeing beauty in them even after they wither.
yn.”
July 5.
“yn,
claude’s works are so different from vincent’s... don’t you think it's beautiful that they lived at the same time yet depicted their world so differently?
my magnolias are finished. i’ve been drawing scenes from your exhibition lately, the picture i took of you is particularly inspiring. i hope you don’t mind.
hyunjin.”
september 26.
“hyunjin,
leaves are falling all over new york. new beginnings are upon us. i hope this view of my window inspires you too.
i wish you happiness no matter the season.
yn.”
october 7.
“yn,
i just saw the first snow at dawn, it was such a pretty view! i’m happy i’m alive today.
i hope snow reaches you fast enough, too.
stay warm.
with love,
hyunjin.”
october 23.
“hyunjin,
i’ve always preferred spring, but snow brought me such a happy opportunity. i’m invited to an exhibition in seoul, next month!
i’ll enjoy it well and think of our conversations.
with love,
yn.”
october 5.
“yn,
the weather is beautiful in seoul lately. i’m happy you’ll be here to see it.
it is late at night, and the moon is shining brightly. i hope it’ll shine as brightly for you too, in new york.
with love,
yours.”
The click of your black heels against the marble floors echoes through the museum, a comforting sound as you stroll through the immersive Vincent exhibition; now gracing Seoul. The colors wash over you, reflecting off your skin, swirling around you until you feel as though you’re being drawn into the very heart of the paintings.
“Enjoying the art, Yn?” a voice like honey drips across your being. Your heart skips a beat, plummets to your knees and races back to its place once again. You feel an ache inside you unfold. memories of Hyunjin’s voice rewriting themselves, perfecting your recollection of his accent and the tender way in which he spoke your name.
“It’s beautiful,” you murmur, though you refuse to turn around and meet his eyes. Not yet. The scent of his rose perfume is enough to have your heart rattling against your ribcage— a bird wishing to escape its cage and deliver your love letter to its rightful owner.
“Isn’t it an amazing coincidence we met here? In Seoul, no less,” he says, his voice airy as he inches closer.
“I know you’re the one who invited me,” you giggle, finally turning to meet his gaze. His eyes widen slightly before morphing into crescents, as if lifted from Vincent’s Starry Night.
“How did you know? I thought I kept it a secret in our postcards,” he grins sheepishly.
“I kept pestering Mr. Martin about why the museum invited me specifically until he finally told me you were behind it.”
“Well,” he licks his lips, his eyes roaming over your face. “I admit, I missed you. I wanted to see you again. And I happen to be a major contributor to the museum.”
“Fancy,” you beam, before your grin morphs to something much softer, as you realize that you are away from your work, and that the Hyunjin of your postcards is finally before you.
“I missed you too. Show me around?”
“Am I your guide now?”
“Mm. I expect you to be an expert.”
“Oh, I am.”
Hyunjin speaks of the paintings as if it’s his first time seeing them, finding new things to admire, new details to point out to you. You find it hard to keep up, only because your eyes seem more interested in observing him. You’ll tell him later that you were right in thinking he’d make every painting more mesmerizing.
But for now, you stroll together, his hand brushing against yours every now and then. Before long, you’re far from the museum, walking into the chilly Seoul night, his jacket draped over your shoulders.
And you talk, you talk about every painting you’ve seen since his departure, the flowers you’ve picked, and the strawberry field you visited at the end of June. He shares stories of his favorite painters and his beloved dog, Kkami, whom he misses dearly. He speaks of the moon and how your postcards lessened his loneliness. You tell him you’ve kept every card by your bedside, the first and last thing you see each day.
Suddenly your pinky is entwined with his, your cheeks ache from how much you’ve spoken and laughed, your heart lighter than it had ever been.
“Thank you for walking me to my hotel,” you smile softly.
He nods, his thumb swiping across your palm tenderly. It’s only after a while that he speaks again. “I know you said that happiness wears off eventually. But right now, the happiness i feel… I think it will last me for the next four months, at least.”
“Just four months?” you tease, and he giggles, tipping his head back. You wish you had your paintbrushes, your camera, a simple pen, anything to commit his laugh into something tangible.
“For a long time,” he finally says, quietly, resigned. Tomorrow’s flight ticket makes your heart ache, all of the sudden.
“I… I’ll get going. Thank you for inviting me,” you smile, dropping his hand. You know it’ll hurt the more you hold it, the easier it’d be for you to remember the softness of his hand.
So you walk back, you’re near the hotel door, a hand suddenly wraps around your wrist, the security guards both discreetly look away.
“Yn,” Hyunjin turns you around, his eyes are as wide as the full moon hanging close to earth, listening in to your conversation.
“You didn’t- you didn’t show me your paintings.” he says a bit too quickly, desperately.
“What?” you ask, confused.
“Back in New York, you promised to show me your paintings. You didn’t.”
“You remember?”
Hyunjin's chest heaves in response, his warm palms cradle your cheeks, his eyes speak of a yearning you haven’t thought existed. When his lips crash upon yours, fervently, passionately, like the collision of all stars in Starry Night, you have your answer.
He remembered. He remembered as much as you.
Epilogue— seven months later.
“Now… next question,” Hyunjin grins as he takes out a folded paper from a glass jar, five sets of camera’s all pointed at him in the shooting set of Elle Korea.
“If you could feel only one emotion for the rest of your life, what would you choose?”
Hyunjin puts the paper down, adjusts the sleeves of his Versace blue silk shirt. He doesn’t need to think too much to answer— he already has his reply.
“Someone told me, a long time ago, that hope keeps you going longer than happiness. Because happiness wears off eventually. But hope doesn’t. hope is like a flickering flame, it surges and it dims, but it doesn’t go out, so I choose hope.” he smiles suddenly, eyes looking into those of the staff behind the camera.
“That got deep all of the sudden, right? Done worry, Stay, I have hope, happiness and love, all at once.”
He chuckles quietly, picking up the last piece of paper.
“Finally… who’s your favorite painter? Ah, easy, it’s Vincent Van Gogh.”
“What's your favorite painting by him?” the shooting director asks behind the camera, his eyes fixate on the lens. He knows his love will be watching.
“A woman with a child on her lap. It’s not very known, but… if you look into it closely, beautiful things might come into your life and change it forever.”
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from left to right, Woman with a Child on her Lap, 1883 — Portrait of Gauguin, 1888— The Potato Eaters, 1885—The Hill of Montmartre with Stone Quarry, 1886— Almond Blossom, 1890— The Starry Night, 1889.
651 notes · View notes
zaczenemiji · 3 months
Note
Hello Dearest Writer! I have read the Shattered Pride that you wrote which I like it! and I hope you don't mind me requesting ^^. I wanted to request for a lil' bit angsty Kenji Sato x Reader, where kenji & reader have a heated argument that leads to reader with tears streaming down her face from kenji's hurtful words and attempted to remove her engagement ring and proposed to end things for the better and kenji got scared and regret everything he said, so he asked for forgiveness, convinced her to stay and makes it up for her. Thank you so much, Writer! I hope you have a nice day!
Second to None
Kenji Sato x Reader
Word Count: 2,076
Genre/Warning: Angst, Character Development, Drama, Established Long-Term Relationship, Heartbreak, hurt/Comfort, Redemption
Author’s Note: My works are becoming longer lately 🤧 Is that a good thing or not?
MASTERLIST | Shattered Pride
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The reservation; a special menu and a gift sat neatly wrapped beside your plate. Your eyes dart to the door every few minutes, eagerly yet anxiously anticipating Kenji’s arrival.
The minutes turned into an hour, each second becoming agonizingly longer than the last. Your discomfort became noticeable to those who arrived before and after you.
Some couples came in pairs. Others also waited but the arrival of their beloveds was only half as long as the duration of your waiting.
The waiter approached with a sympathetic smile. “Would you like to order now, miss?” He asked gently.
"Not yet," you replied, forcing a smile. "He should be here any minute." You smoothed down your dress, avoiding any more contact with someone who isn’t Kenji.
“Are you on your way? Our reservation was at 7,” your message long showed as delivered, but still, no reply, and all your calls went straight to voicemail.
Your heart sank as the waiter returned, his expression more apologetic than before, "Shall I bring you a drink while you wait?"
"Yes, please," you answered, trying to mask your growing disappointment. You chose a glass of your favorite wine with Kenji, hoping the familiar taste would bring some comfort.
It was your fifth anniversary together, a milestone you had been looking forward to for weeks. Yet just like last year, it seemed like this would be a missed one too.
The first years of your relationship were pure bliss. The years that followed were less exciting but more comfortable. Yet from last year til today, some things were never the same.
At first, it felt like it was just because both of you had gotten used to each other. But as time progressed, it started seeming like your relationship was just a background—a television turned on not for the sake of watching, but for the sake of not being alone.
It started with last year’s missed anniversary; he said that it was an important out-of-town game that he couldn't skip. "I'm so sorry, the game went into extra innings and I missed the last train back. I'll be home late.”
He went home the next day.
You reminisced your first anniversary, a weekend getaway, a brief escape from your busy lives. The second, you had gone to a cozy little restaurant. The third had been a quiet dinner at home.
The fourth anniversary was marked by absence and loneliness; as this year’s. It wasn't the first time Kenji's baseball career had come between you, but you had hoped that anniversaries would be different.
You started to wonder if you would always come second to his dreams.
Another hour passed and the restaurant began to empty as the night grew older. "Kenji, I'm still here. Please call me." But still, there was no response.
Finally, your phone buzzed, "I'm so sorry, practice ran late and then we had a team meeting. I’ll try to get there as soon as I can."
You stared at the message, a tear slipping down your cheek. You heard similar apologies countless times before, each one chipping away at your patience and hope.
You signaled the waiter and asked for the check. You couldn't sit there any longer and pretend that everything was fine.
You walked out into the cool night, clutching the small gift you had brought for Kenji. The streets were quiet, the city's usual buzz dulled by the lateness of the hour.
You felt a profound loneliness, one that wasn't just about this night but about the accumulation of missed moments and broken promises.
When you finally got home, the flat was dark. You placed the untouched gift on the table and changed into more comfortable clothes.
You were too drained, emotionally, to even wait for Kenji in case he’d come over. You lay down on your bed, more than willing to sleep off the pain you just can’t get used to.
As your consciousness was being tugged to sleep, your phone buzzed again. It was Kenji, calling. And for the first time, you decided to put yourself first and slept.
Morning came and you sat at the dining table, a half-empty glass of wine in front of you. It was far too early to be drinking, but the remnants of last night's disappointment and loneliness still clung to you, and you needed something to numb the ache.
You swirled the wine in your glass, your mind replaying the evening over and over. The beautifully wrapped gift lay discarded on the coffee table.
You immediately slept last night but somehow, you hoped that Kenji would walk through the door with some grand gesture, some sign that he valued your relationship as much as she did. But he never came.
The sound of the key turning in the lock pulled you from your thoughts. Kenji walked in, looking exhausted and worn. His eyes immediately found yours, and he saw the wine glass in your hand.
"You're drinking this early?" he asked, concern laced with surprise. You didn't respond, just took another sip.
The silence was heavy, filled with all the words you wanted to say but didn't know how to begin. You set the glass down and met his gaze.
"Do you even realize what day it was yesterday, Kenji?" you asked, your voice trembling with a mix of anger and hurt.
He sighed, running a hand through his hair, "Of course, I do. I'm so sorry. Practice ran late and then there was an unexpected team meeting. I—“
"You always have an excuse,” You cut him off, your voice rising. “Do you know how many times I've heard 'practice ran late' or 'there was a meeting’? I'm tired of it!"
"I know," he said, trying to calm you down. "I really wanted to be here, but you know how important baseball is to me."
"And what about me, Kenji? Am I not important to you?" you snapped, tears welling up in your eyes. "I've sacrificed everything for you! I left my career, my family, my friends, everything to come to Japan and support you! And for what? To be stood up on our anniversary again?"
His face tightened, "It's not like that. You knew what you were getting into when you decided to come with me."
You took a step back, your voice dropping to a whisper. "So, it's my fault now?” You asked. “I chose to support you because I believed in us. But it feels like I'm the only one making sacrifices here."
"That's not fair," he retorted, frustration creeping into his tone. "I work hard for us. I'm trying to build a future for us."
"But at what cost, Kenji?" you shot back. "Every time I need you, you're not there. Every important moment, every milestone, you're always somewhere else. Do you even understand how lonely that is?"
He ran a hand through his hair, struggling to find the right words, "I'm doing my best. It's just... baseball is my dream. I can't give that up."
"And what about my dreams?" you cried, your voice breaking. "I had a career I loved, a life I was proud of! I gave all that up for you, believing that you would be there for me, that we would support each other. But it feels like I'm the only one who gave anything up!”
He took a deep breath, his own anger rising. "I never asked you to give up your career!” He said. “You made that choice!”
Your eyes widened in shock and pain. "I made that choice because I loved you—because I thought we were building a life together,” you said, voice softening and heart breaking. “But it seems like I'm the only one who sees it that way."
There was a long silence as you two stared at each other, the weight of unspoken words hanging heavily between you. Slowly, you reached for your engagement ring, your hands shaking.
"What are you doing?" Kenji asked, panic creeping into his voice.
You struggled to remove the ring, tears streaming down your face. "Maybe we're fooling ourselves, Kenji,” you said in between sobs. “Maybe this isn't working. I can't keep feeling like I'm second to your career. Maybe it's better if we end this now."
His heart raced, panic surged through him, and his voice trembled with desperation. "No, please don't," he said, stepping closer, his hands reaching out but hesitating to touch you. "I'm sorry for everything I've said. I didn't mean it. I love you, and I can't lose you."
You looked at him, the ring held loosely in your hand. "Do you really love me, Kenji?” You asked. “Or do you love the idea of me being here, waiting for you, always understanding and never complaining?"
He stepped closer, his eyes pleading. "I love you. I know I've been an idiot, and I know I haven't been there for you like I should. But I promise I'll do better. Just please, don't leave me."
His eyes filled with tears as he dropped to his knees in front of you, the weight of his regret crashing down on him. "I love you," he said, his voice breaking. "I know I've been an idiot, and I know I haven't been there for you like I should. Every time I chose baseball over you, I was wrong. I see that now.”
“Please, don't take off that ring. Don't leave me,” he pleased. “I can't imagine my life without you."
You looked down at him, your own tears blurring your vision, “How can I believe you, Kenji?"
He reached out, taking her hands in his and holding them tightly. "Because I can't bear the thought of losing you,” he said. “I'll do whatever it takes to prove to you that you're the most important thing in my life. I'll talk to my coach, I'll cut back on practice—anything. Just please, give me one more chance."
You hesitated, the pain and love warring within you. His eyes were filled with genuine fear and remorse, and you could feel his hands trembling. "One more chance, Kenji,” you said. “But things have to change. I can't keep feeling like this."
He nodded fervently, pulling you into a tight embrace, his heart pounding with a mix of relief and fear. "I promise, things will change,” he said. “I'll make it up to you, I swear. I love you more than anything. Please, believe me."
The next morning, Kenji came over early and made you breakfast, a small but heartfelt gesture to start making amends. He took the morning off practice and thought of having breakfast together.
Over the next few weeks, Kenji made noticeable changes. He began to prioritize your time together, making sure to balance his demanding baseball schedule with moments that were just for you two.
One evening, as you sat on the couch watching a movie, Kenji turned to you with a serious expression, "I talked to a few people, and I found a way for you to continue your work here in Japan.”
You looked at him, curiosity and hope in your eyes, "What do you mean?"
“There are some production companies interested in meeting with you,” he said. “I want you to have your career back, to have something that's yours."
Tears welled up in your eyes, this time from gratitude and joy. "Kenji, that's... I don't know what to say. Thank you."
He took your hand, squeezing it gently. "I want you to be happy. I want us to build our lives together, supporting each other's dreams,” he said. “I'm sorry it took me so long to realize how much you were sacrificing."
True to his word, Kenji began to make your relationship a priority. He surprised you with small dates, like picnics in the park or quiet dinners at home. He even started learning a bit of Japanese cuisine to cook your favorite meals.
Kenji made it a point to never miss another important moment, attending every event and celebration that mattered to you. He cheered you on as you restarted your career, eager to see you shine.
In the end, you both learned that love required effort and compromise from both sides. It wasn't always easy, but you faced your challenges together, knowing that your love was worth fighting for. And with each passing day, you both found yourselves more deeply in love, more committed to the life you were building together.
Taglist is open! Comment if u wanna be tagged on future Kenji oneshots
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vivwritesfics · 2 years
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"I Know"
Peter Parker has the best girlfriend ever
1.1K
Peter Parker x Reader
I've been MIA for the longest time because the inspo just hasn't been there. But I've gotten away from university for a few days, and this is what came from my peaceful time alone
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"I'm so sorry, baby," said Peter. He stood on top of a building, watching a bank robbery happening opposite. A bag full of snacks and two pairs of his favourite pyjamas lay discarded beside him, and Peter made a mental note to pick it up later. The wind was biting, but Peter didn’t care. His attention was split evenly between his girlfriend and the bank robbery.
This was not the first time he had flaked on date night, and he knew it wouldn't be the last. He and his girlfriend both knew. But Peter Parker had the most understanding girlfriend in the world.
"It's okay, Pete," she said. Peter could picture her now, snuggled up in her bed, waiting to change into a pair of his pyjamas, with her snack basket filled and her laptop loaded up with a Christmas movie. "Go... save the world."
It wasn't quite saving the world, but she made Peter smile. She always made Peter smile. Y/N was the most understanding person in the world. "I'll be at yours as soon as I can. Don't open the chocolate without me."
After that, Peter had no choice but to hang up. The bank robbery had started to wrap up and Peter had to stop them. He put his phone in his bag, pulled his mask over his face, and swung down to the bank. "You guys have ruined my date night."
“What the fuck?” One of the bank robbers dropped his white bag filled with green notes and swung a bat at Peter.
It was cartoon-y, how these robbers were behaving. The white bags, the notes flying all over the place. Their ski masks weren’t masks at all, but unfolded beanies with the eyeholes cut out. “Wait, can I get a picture? My girlfriend is going to love this.”
***
Y/N’s family loved Peter. Somehow, he’d never been late to dinner with her parents. Either criminals decided to take the day off, to let Peter have his dinner, or for once somebody else was cleaning up the city in his stead.
But not tonight.
“I’ll be maybe ten minutes late,” he said as he swung through the city. His suit was discarded, but his tie was still around his neck.
Y/N had her phone between her shoulder and her ear as she put in a pair of earrings. Dinners like these were a big deal to her parents. The whole family dressed up fancy, all of her sibling’s partners were invited and they had at least three courses. “Pete, babe, it’s fine. I’ll cover you.” And, as she said it, she didn’t sound disappointed at all.
Peter really had the best girlfriend in the world. “Holy shit, I love you,” he said, only just noticing his tie. But it was too late to remove it now. “Please send me the cover story.”
They said their goodbyes (with Y/N begging him to stay safe) and went to do their things. Peter fought the bad guy, managing to keep his rather expensive tie intact. Y/N finished getting dressed for dinner and went downstairs to greet her parents.
Her siblings and their partners were already downstairs, drinks in their hands.
“There she is!” Called her brother as Y/N stepped into the room. He checked his watch and feigned a frown. “Not like that boyfriend of yours to be late, is it?”
With her hands clasped behind her back, Y/N rocked on her heels. “Actually, Peters gonna be late today,” she said, hoping they weren’t going to ask anymore questions.
“That Parker boy is never late,” her father said, “What’s holding him up?”
Before now, Y/N hadn’t thought of an excuse for Peter. She had just hoped they wouldn’t ask, and then he could’ve come up with his own backstory. (Peter had gotten good at that).
“Uhh…His house… caught fire? And his aunt… is in the hospital… with death?” oh yeah no this was not going well. “Oh! And the tire on his bike popped.”
Yes. That was very believable.
But nobody questioned it as Y/N sat beside her sister and her sister’s girlfriend. “He’ll be here soon.”
Her eyes shifted to the floor, which only made everything more believable. She pulled out her phone and sent Peter the cover story, just seconds before the doorbell rang. “I’ll get it!” She shouted, jumping up.
Racing to the front door, Y/N pulled it open to see Peter stood there, still sorting out his suit. “You are so lucky nobody else answered the door,” she said and buttoned up his shirt correctly. “I sent you over the cover story,” she whispered and kissed his cheek.
Pulling him into the house, Y/N pushed him towards her father. “Hello, Mr L/N! Sorry, I’m late, my tire burst.”
Suddenly, Y/N’s mother came running out of the kitchen. “Peter, my dear!” She shouted and pulled him in for a hug. “I’m so sorry to hear about May and your house. You can stay here for as long as you need!” She cried, running her fingers through her hair. He looked at Y/N with her brows furrowed. ‘Go with it’, she mimed. “How about we all go and visit May as soon as we’re finished with dinner?”
“Oh! Please, Mrs L/N. That’s not necessary.” Peter pulled away from his girlfriend’s mother and grabbed Y/N’s hand. “Can I have a word with you upstairs?” He asked her, and Y/N allowed herself to be pulled up to her bedroom.
As soon as the door was shut Y/N was wrapped around him. “I missed you,” she said, planting a kiss on his cheek.
“Missed me so much you told your family that May was in the hospital?”
“And that your house burnt down,” she said quietly, laying her head on his chest. “I know I said I’d cover for you, but I’m not very good at it, Pete.” Her arms snaked around his middle, sitting beneath his blazer.
Peter’s phone suddenly buzzed. He pulled it out of his pocket and frowned once he looked at it. “Oh god, what is it?” Asked Y/N, looking up at Peter with wide eyes.
“Baby, I love you but, I’ve got to go. I swear this’ll-”
“It’s okay, Peter, I know.”
Peter kissed her. It was slow, yet oh so intense. One of those kisses that makes you gasp. “I have the best girlfriend in the world.”
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yogrtshake · 5 months
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coming home ( 7dream ) genre : fluff word count : 0.8k summary : how 7dream return home after a day away from you
( mark ) ⋆ practically melts into you once you spread your arms for a hug in the doorway, whispering how much he missed you into your hair (“i know i said it yesterday, but i’m serious, this time i’m not letting you go”) ⋆ after a quick meal, he settles in bed with you laying by his side and picks up the philosophy book he’s been reading that week ⋆ pokes you every so often to share an excerpt that sparked an idea in his mind, loving the way you comb your fingers through the ends of his hair as he rambles cutely ⋆ tired from his long day, his eyes start to flutter shut and you place his book on the nightstand for him, kissing his temple to wish him sweet dreams
( renjun ) ⋆ the sight of you after a long day always paints a special smile on his face: one that’s infused with adoration and longing, and it makes you melt every time ⋆ finds it precious that you wait until he’s home to unwind from your day with him, both preferring to help remove each other’s makeup and wash your faces side by side ⋆ lots of giggling is shared as he gently tries to lay a sheet mask over your skin and he plants a kiss on your lips once he’s done arranging the mask around your features ⋆ a completed skincare routine means it’s time to wind down together — this consists of soft music and catching up on your days apart, his sparkling, attentive eyes not leaving yours as he listens to every detail
( jeno ) ⋆ takes a bit longer to arrive home because he always stops to pick up takeout dinner for you to share, your favorite weekly tradition ⋆ finds you half asleep and softly hums a greeting, careful not to stir you while he settles back in, then wakes you gently so you can eat together ⋆ sits criss-cross on the floor with you, thoughtfully searching the table for the best looking bite and leaning over to feed it to you ⋆ relishes the comfortable silence between you, occasionally sharing tidbits about your days as you unwind together over your warm meal
( hyuck ) ⋆ kicks off his shoes and tosses his bag on the floor, dramatically explaining how today felt like an even longer day away from you than yesterday, despite his practices being the same length of time ⋆ before you know it, he’s swallowed you in an inescapable hug (“hyuck, i’m suffocating” “no no, we’re not done hugging yet”) ⋆ tells you a funny anecdote from practice, the sound of your laughter refilling his lungs that had exhausted throughout the day ⋆ soon enough grows sleepy and insists you lay down with him, pulling you closer every time he feels you shift until you doze off together
( jaemin ) ⋆ the second he walks in, he’s pressing kisses to your cheeks, your nose, your lips, your forehead — everywhere, over and over again, to make up for what he’d missed over the past several hours he was at work ⋆ pulls away only to grasp your hands in his and ask what you’ve eaten today, if you got your errands done, and what’s planned for the two of you tonight — it goes without saying the rest of your evening will be spent together ⋆ requests more kisses from you between every step of his nighttime routine, not bearing to spend another second without your touch he’s missed all day ⋆ after some quality time together, you notice he's drifted off to sleep with his arms draped around your waist, and when you kiss the top of his head, you can almost see a smile form on his lips
( chenle ) ⋆ almost as though he never left your presence, you received a lot of texts and random photos throughout the day while he was working ⋆ scolds you playfully for having missed answering one when he returns home (”but le, i replied to all of them at once—” “i wanted INDIVIDUAL REPLIES!”) ⋆ quickly forgives you, of course, pecking your cheek before changing into lounge clothes and making his way to your familiar spot on the couch to watch a drama with you ⋆ after a few minutes you feel that his shoulders are no longer tensed and his head rests on your shoulder, and you smile knowing he feels relaxed with you
( jisung ) ⋆ files into your bedroom after his long evening at the studio, appearing a bit more tired than usual, and immediately falls into your lap ⋆ you toy with his hair as you let him vent about the latest routine he’s given his all to, praising him for working hard and watching his eyes slowly start to brighten ⋆ he cherishes how you give him the space to talk about even the littlest details of his frustrations while comforting him with your touch ⋆ wordlessly insists you spend the remainder of the night in each other’s arms, him shyly dotting your hands with kisses to show his appreciation until his eyes close
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phntmeii · 1 year
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♡ Dating Bo and Vincent Sinclair Headcanons:
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❝ She always said your talent would make up for what God took away from you. ❝
[SFW Headcanons]
Pairings: Artist!Reader x Vincent Sinclair. FemBimbo!Reader x Bo Sinclair.
Warnings: Slight pervert!Bo Sinclair, Mentions of kidnapping+murders, Manipulation.
A/N: Sinclair Twins are some of my new favs. They are so delectably made I can’t- So here are headcanons BUT with describing what their specific types are instead of keeping it vague. Also, I view Vincent as a selective mute who’s vocal chords are a bit fucked up so he only speaks a few times a day so not a complete mute.
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Vincent Headcanons:
✎ Vincent hasn't had any dating experience so much of what he knows is from what Bo has told him which didn't make it interesting in his eyes. But when he sees you, all he wants to do is admire you for whatever reason.
✎ He’d specifically go after you and be the first victim he’d kidnap rather than outright kill.
✎ He tries to convince you he isn’t dangerous (to you) and does little things to prove it. Showing off his drawings, playing music for you, writing notes and letters to you.
✎ Vincent would honestly come off strong because he doesn’t understand how fast or slow a relationship to go. The moment he spotted you, you were already his in his mind.
✎ When you fall for him despite his masked face and silent behaviors, you adjust and get used to him. After all, he wasn’t bad at all. He’d keep you in his room which was tidy and neat as his mother taught him, he’d make sure you were completely taken care of and he was sweet in his little notes.
✎ Vincent’s handwriting is perfect as he was taught to do. His notes would be a little formal but adorable things to find before he slinks away to his studio. “Hello, Y/N. I hope you are adjusting well. :) I wanted to know what foods you like so I can tell Bo to make them. Please write back before lunchtime.”
✎ When he discovers you were an artist as well, he was giddy and excited! Someone who knew what it was like to cycle through ideas and fixate on a project for hours on end.
✎ His few words he’d speak a day would be regarding your own art. No matter what it was, he’d tell Lester to get you the supplies for it and watch over you as you worked.
✎ His ragged and hoarse voice spoken into your ear. “Beautiful…”
✎ He’d randomly gift mini wax sculptures of your favorite animals each week that he worked on between sculptures. Each one better and better than the last.
✎ Vincent thrives on your praise. Sweet boy can’t help but lower his head and blush under his mask at each compliment.
✎ His favorite thing about morning routines were when you’d touch and brush his hair. The massaging at the scalp and tingly feeling he’d get as the brush ran down his black strands felt all too good. He’d also let you do whatever hairstyle you wanted.
✎ Vincent would draw you constantly in his sketchbook. He has pages and pages of different angles of your face, what clothing you wore on a certain day or how you posed during breakfast.
✎ Any and I mean ANY sketches you give him in return? He’s holding onto it like it’s pure gold. He hangs it in his studio where he’s at the most to view it all the time.
✎ Trusts your critiques and observations more than anyone else’s and often asks for your opinion on his pieces.
✎ Doesn’t believe that you like his face without the mask but when he sees you present him with a sketch of his half-mutilated face, he’s stunned. To see him, the truest version of him, as something you deemed worthy to spend time depicting absolutely melts him. He starts to become more willing to remove his mask around you especially if it means he’ll get more drawings like that.
✎ Bo would want so badly to tease Vincent for how he acts around you since Vincent is absolutely infatuated but Bo and Lester find it adorable and are happy Vincent found someone despite everything.
✎ He would definitely want to do those heart hands or hand holding wax molds with you and keep it on his desk.
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Bo Headcanons:
> This man’s perfect woman has to be a bimbo, I’m sorry. Someone who is perfectly stupid to overlook some toxic qualities to him and won’t suspect any of his more… violent hobbies.
> Doesn’t have to be the stereotypical busty, all-pink wearing bimbo but just a pretty but airheaded girl.
> He’d originally plan on killing you when you showed up saying your car broke down. You were pretty but so were some other victims who had come through Ambrose. But that dumb factor? Oh, now he’s all in.
> Absolute charmer and reels you in and away from the rest of your group. He’d keep making up reasons as to why you should stay for longer than lie about where your group went.
> He’d keep you sat in the gas station, seeing you so easily entertained. He’d put on that charming smile and tuck your hair behind your ear. “Seems like everyone left you behind, sweetheart. How about you stay jus’ a bit longer, hm? Still need to fix up that car a’ yours, don’t we?”
> He does absolutely use your ditzy and air-headed nature to his advantage to tease because who is he if not a teasing charmer?
> “Aww, sugar, there ain’t much goin’ on in that pretty little head a’ yours, is there?”
> He has purposefully done something to make you trip so he can catch you and make it into a whole romantic scene.
> Absolutely brags to Vincent and Lester about how perfect his girlfriend is.
> He cannot get enough of you at the end of the day. He may have gone into it looking to just use you but consider yourself a charmer as well because he’s soon completely enraptured.
> He enjoys watching you get ready in the morning. Bo will get distracted himself and end up just watch you do your makeup for ten minutes, admiring how pretty you look for him.
> NOTHING BUT PRINCESS TREATMENT!!! He can be toxic and a tease but he likes to be a gentleman too.
> He’s kneeling to put on your shoes on for you, kissing up your leg as he does. He keeps a hand on your back to guide you as you two walk together. Don’t even think about paying for anything because his hand is already in his pocket, ready to pay.
> Bo spoils you rotten. He can’t help it when you smile so sweetly at him that it’s honestly unfair. Sometimes it’s stuff at the store other times it’s stuff he stole from a victim before they met their end. You wouldn’t know, of course, so it’s always a sweet thing.
> If he’s buying you clothes, he’s picking out the tightest options so he can see your body constantly. He’s already turned on constantly by you but he wants to have you all dolled up for him always.
> Although sometimes it can be annoying to have you be so oblivious, he resists any direct insults or rude names since he knows you’ll take it to heart. He never wants to see you upset.
> He knows how much you love his Southern accent and dials it up to 11 with sweet pet names when he needs you for something.
> “Sweetheart, do me a favor an’ pass me the wrench? S’got the blue handle, honey, you know which one.”
> Favorite thing he’s seen you do is when you stole his clothing and became a mini-Bo. Wearing his hat and a jumpsuit all proud of yourself and he couldn’t help but chuckle and claim you should dress like that more often so people know you’re all his.
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⤷ divider credits: @cafekitsune
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thesilmarillionblog · 4 months
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𓏲 𓂃 L o s i n g Y o u
Part: 7
Click here to read the first part.
Summary: Everything was good as a member of Payback and Soldier Boy's secret girlfriend until the team and your relationship with him began to fall apart due to a new member and her developing relationship with Ben right in front of your eyes.
Pairing: Soldier Boy / Reader
Warnings: heavy angst, hurt, language, PTSD, soft Soldier Boy, Soldier Boy gets hurt, anxious reader, mention of torture
Word Count: 3373
A/N: English is not my first language.
* This story is inspired by the song "Losing You" by Dream Evil.
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Your senses began to awaken when a hand removed the mask covering your face. Your body felt numb and lightheaded, making it difficult for you to see anything, even if you were able to free your hands from the tight handcuffs. Your legs felt like jelly, and it felt like all of your strength had been stolen away. From a distance, you heard someone calling your name, but you had no idea who it was. Everything was terribly cloudy, complex, and hazy.
The voice attempting to communicate with you was most likely that of another evil scientist who had come to torture you and grab more samples from you. You thought, Oh, my god. How did things turn out for you? How much time have you spent here? Months, weeks, or a year? You struggled to remember every memory; your head hurt so much that you grimaced.
Ben snarled at Butcher, “Give me your fucking coat,” trying to quickly cover your body with his own as he saw you were only wearing a very short, thin, filthy dress that smelt terrible.
Ben said, “You still look beautiful, you know, but you definitely need a good and long shower, baby,” as he saw you straining to completely awaken. He kept observing your facial expressions, fascinated and concerned at the same time, since you appeared so innocent and confused in the metal box. You may have gotten the same upgrades as him, given his newfound abilities, and if he wasn't careful with you, you could do a lot of damage. If it were the same for you, though, he could manage the energy in your chest with ease.
You smelled blood everywhere and felt panicked the moment the smoke burned your eyes and made it difficult for you to see properly. Your body shook from anxiety and terror. All around you, you heard faint whimpers and shallow breathing that sounded like they were ready to pass away. The smell of death and pain filled that place. You knew you had to leave this torture house as soon as you could, while you were still able to. You used all of your strength to push the body in front of you against the wall and across the room harshly while that stranger forced you to put on a coat.
Ben groaned, “Oh, fuck, sweetheart,” as he realized he was through the wall. With a raised eyebrow, he grinned to himself. It wouldn't be that simple, he realized. After all, you were his equal. 
Butcher realized that this wouldn't go away as he had hoped and that he perhaps could have made a small mistake, and he took a step back in terror. He didn't dare get involved because he wasn't on Temp-V. 
You coughed in between clouds of smoke, and the heavy blood all over the area made your face drop. Indeed, you were once more in danger, and those creatures undoubtedly had new plans for you. You halted briefly as hot blood beneath your boots stopped you from continuing your frantic search for the exit. There were corpses all throughout the place, and they undoubtedly belonged to those people who had tormented you and forced you to sleep for who knows how long. 
“At this point, what will you do? Will she explode similarly to you or worse?” Ben stood up from the location he was thrown into, as Butcher asked.
Ben shook his head, scrubbing away the dusk and stones from his hair and clothes. “Stop whining like a bitch,” he shouted loudly. “I can handle this. She's just confused.”
You started to move out the door, but powerful hands quickly grabbed your waist and held your arms, restricting your movements just like the day you were tricked. You cried out, “Let me go,” as your heart raced in anticipation of being confinted or, worse, subjected to more agony.
You tried everything to pull yourself out of the desperate situation, feeling terrified and perplexed, but his grasp held you tightly, and it was strangely stronger than yours. 
A voice called out to your ear from behind you, “Calm down.” Once you found out, you knew it belonged to the man who once acted like he cared about you, then tossed you aside and tricked you with his new lover. That was when you truly realized what was going on. If your supe hearing sense wasn't playing tricks on you, it belonged to Ben.
“I want to get you out of here, sweetheart. I know how you are feeling, but stop resisting. Trust me.”
Ben spoke to you like he was whispering, yet you didn't feel at all at ease. Your body stiffened at the hurtful memories of him casting you aside, teaming up with Countess, and betraying you. He was the one who, along with Crimson Countess, imprisoned you in that icy, cruel location and made you endure unending suffering. His soothing murmurs sounded poisonous to the ears.
You fought to break free from his embrace as fury overtook the entirety of your being, but he applied even more force to you. Your gaze was fixed on the door when he settled his ruthless hold around your back, pressing his chest against your back to calm you. You felt so far away, yet so near to freedom. 
“It seems she's not very happy to see you, huh?” With a sly smile, Butcher smirked to Ben. “We must immediately leave this place. Any suggestions?”
Ben used the mask he had removed from your face moments before to cover your face once more, exposing you to the same smoke, while he managed to get a hold of both of your arms. You started to cry because you were horrified and felt betrayed, and your heart began to race since you had no idea what he would do to you. How come he was even abusing you in this way? 
You were still in his grasp as Ben leaned his head against yours, made you smell the smoke flowing from the mask, and whispered, “Sorry for this, baby. I wouldn't hurt you; I don't mean to. Just stay calm.”
Despite how much you tried to resist it, you have never felt more helpless against him. Tears were streaming down your face, and your eyes began to close. You wanted to talk to him right then and there and attempt to figure out what was bothering him so much about you. Though you planned to speak to him, the faint sound of his name vanished beneath the mask as a deep sleep overtook your already exhausted body.
“Thought you wanted to free her?” Butcher replied in a mocking voice as he observed Ben tightly holding the mask to your face while observing the painful look on your face. With an serious tone, Butcher continued, “We need to get the fuck out of here.”
When Butcher saw you two like that, he was surprised. All he knew was that everyone who knew them acknowledged Soldier Boy and Countess's romantic relationship. At the time, they were the most well-known couple. He was unaware of your relationship with Soldier Boy. As long as Ben followed through on his commitment to kill Homelander, he could care less about the possibility that it was an affair, something between you, or something else. He'd take care of other stuff later. 
Ben yelled, “Fuck off,” in a harsh tone. “Without this mask, we can't take her out like that. Until we get home, I'll keep her asleep.” 
“And how on earth will you do that, Mr. Loverman?”
Ben snapped, “Take that fucking tube,” and softened his hands immediately after applying the mask to your face a little too forcefully. While you were still a supe and wouldn't be easily wounded, he felt a little bad for unleashing his strength on you. You're being a supe did not, however, mean that using force against you was acceptable. “You will carry it while I keep that mask on her face till we get to the car.”
Butcher followed Ben's instructions and grabbed the tube Ben mentioned. As he strained to hold the tube steady on his shoulders, Butcher muttered a groan and said, “This shit is a bit too heavy.”
Even though he was stronger than the majority of other humans even in his human form, Butcher found it difficult to carry the tube. His jaw clenched and his muscles tautened as he bore it.
Ben was furious and was trying to find a method to carry you as he made sure the mask stayed on your face and forced you to stay asleep. “Be a fucking real man for a second,” he cursed. Ben lifted you in his arms and carried you in bridal carry while the other hand remained still on the mask.
“I should have used Temp-V,” Butcher complained once again as he followed Ben, who was making his way out of the room in quick steps, while you slept peacefully in his arms.
“Maybe you should just grow your dick,” Ben remarked as he headed for the car after getting a deep breath of fresh air. Sitting in the rear now, Hughie was staring at them, mouth agape with worry, seeing you in Soldier Boy's arms, blissfully asleep. 
Hughie tried to ask questions, but Ben shot him an angry glare and said, “Why the fuck are you waiting there? Fucking move.”
Hughie took a step forward and turned around without uttering a word. He watched, worried, as Butcher set down a big tupe on the seat next to Ben, who had come into the car, put you on his lap, and covered your face with a mask.
“Let’s fucking get the fuck out of there,” Butcher murmered after he gave a look to Ben and you.
Ben tenderly laid your body on his bed, and Butcher and Hughie followed him inside his room, their eyes wide with curiosity. 
“What happened to her?” Hughie asked Butcher and Ben, but neither of them responded.
In the hopes that you would be more at ease, Ben removed the mask from your face and waited for you to wake up once more. He saw you gently open your eyes, and his heart raced. Uncertain of your response, Butcher and Hughie put some distance between them.
You opened your eyes and let out a painful moan. When everything became clear to your sight at last, it was then that you realized you were lying in a bed that was comfy.
Ben slowly sat down next to you, placing his large hands on yours and muttering in a dry voice, “Everything's good; you're good.”
Was it truly good, though? 
With a feeble voice, you asked, “Ben?” while keeping your gaze on his green ones. He didn't look quite the same as when you last saw him. His beard gave him a more serious, grown-up appearance. “What's going on over here?” 
The two strangers who were observing you intently caught your attention, and they inhaled deeply. Ben was about to grab your hand, but you quickly moved to put some distance between you and avoid his touch. You smelled a lot worse than you looked, and you were wearing a long, black coat. You checked your body, and your face wrinkled with loathing. Oh god.. For how long has it been? 
You grimaced, gave Ben a fierce gaze, and asked, “How could you have done this to me?” before he could say anything more. 
Ben was briefly taken aback, but he wasn't shocked that you believed he was the one who had fooled and deceived you, placing you in such a horrible situation for decades—even though it had all been Vought's evil shit all along.
"Course it wasn't me." Ben immediately defended himself, gazing over your body. “I didn't even know,” he said.
You raised your hand to interrupt him before he could say any more lies, saying, “I just need a shower right now.”
You were careful not to touch Ben while he nodded and apologized in a low voice as he attempted to assist you in standing up. The two guys across the room were simply silently waiting and observing you when Ben sent them an angry glare, and they quickly left the room. Though you were ignorant of the dynamics amongst the three of them, you knew you needed to use caution if they were Ben's new fellow soldiers. In the end, you had no understanding of what was going on, and you received no change from anyone.
There was an unsettling silence the two of you had while you were alone in the room, but he soon showed you the bathroom. 
You murmured, gently keeping the coat against your body, “I need new clothes.” After everything that happened to you, you shouldn't have been concerned about how you looked, but you were unable to stop it. It was a natural inclination, after all, to feel clean. 
Ben smiled warmly at your hesitant attitude as he went to the wardrob with pride and showed you the t-shirt, underwear and all he had previously purchased for you with Butcher's money. He wanted you to see how interested and ready he was to start things again with you, as he had already given it much thought. Not only did he take your suit from Legend, but he promised to display it to you later. Your suit wasn't a priority, considering that the chaos all around you had already overwhelmed you.
“I'll be waiting downstairs, so we can talk about what happened properly,” Ben stated after clearing his throat. Then, you took the clothes from his hands and entered the bathroom, locking the door as though someone would dare to interrupt.
You took the longest shower of your life, showered head to toe, put on the clothes Ben bought you, and headed downstairs. Ben and two strangers were watching the news on TV, which seemed a little unusual because it was so modern. 
Ben did not make a scene, even though his face fell when he saw you sitting on the couch, distant from him. As you began to watch the news, you glanced at the gadget that Hughie was holding and clicked on it while wearing a serious expression. Then you turned to face Ben and requested, “Tell me slowly, what year we are in?” in a low voice.
With rush, Butcher responded, “It's 2022.”
“Oh my god,” you muttered, placing your hand over your forehead, while continuing to stare at the TV and gawking at all the strange things you had never seen before. Ben had stole your years.
Ben instantly spoke up and stated once more in a firm voice, “I didn't do this to you. Vought deceived both of us. Also, it has been about four days since those fuckfaces rescued me in Russia.”
“You’re welcome,” Butcher said, sipping his whiskey.
You questioned Ben once more in a suspicious tone, “How did you even find out what happened to me?” You had plenty time to ask all the thousand questions you had, but you still had priorities.
Ben's gaze strayed as he thought about sitting next to you and making a physical connection to ensure you listened him properly without you passing judgment on him, but he remained where he was. He never considered discussing Crimson again, but it seems that it was inescapable.
Ben only said, “I learned it from Crimson Countess,” trying not to show how insecure he was. He and the Countess had already done you an immense amount of pain. 
With a sad smile, you nodded meaningfully and said, “Of course she'd be the first to pay a visit.”
She remained his main concern even after all this time and your efforts on his behalf. But now it means absolutely nothing. While you were sleeping, so many years had gone by, and nothing seemed to matter anymore. You felt like you had undergone a complete change from the person you knew in the past.
“It’s not what you think,” Ben said seeing your disappointed face.
“I really don’t care, Ben,” you simply said with all sincerity. You weren’t lying.
Although it was difficult to accept their relationship and everything that had happened in the past, you now felt a little foolish for not just letting go. In addition, you spent years in a metal box and were tortured because of your naive attitude. You felt lost, and you had nothing now. You were left without even a place to go.
“Do you have something to eat?” you shyly asked Hughie, who had a humble and kind expression on his face. You have questions, for sure, but you needed to eat something first.
Hughie quickly said, “Sure, we can order something.” And you thanked him with a smile on your face.
Ben took a deep breath and decided not to press the issue because he thought you were a little too sensitive and hungry. His whole body was itching to sit next to you, and his eyes never left you. He was never fully aware of how much his body yearned for your attention and touch. Perhaps since so many years had passed between you, this need and yearning had always existed. But you were not the woman he had known before, and your gentle but determined attempts to keep him at a distance disturbed him.
You leaned back as you ignored Ben’s gaze on you and tried to focused on the TV to see how much the world has changed.
“I visited her to ask what happened to you,” Ben suddenly said with a rough voice.
Without getting into an argument, you just nodded and carried on watching TV, saying, “Okay.”
There was a headline that said, ‘Soldier Boy's terror killed at least 50 people in a week,’ when the information first came on television. 
Ben cursed loudly, and you murmered, “What?”
You were all fixated on the reporter commenting on the extent of Ben's damage to Ohio and New York while Butcher turned up the voice of the TV. You gasped as you watched an entirely wrecked street in New York and heard injured people telling the TV reporter how far Ben's explosion was heard from and how badly he damaged the lives of everyone inside, killing 19 people, including children. 
Ben's face was unreadable as he stared at the television, lost in thoughts and feeling a weight of guilt in his chest. He had no intention of blowing up in the first place. He was aware that the Russian song was the reason behind his unexpected outburst in the middle of the street. He had no feelings of hostility toward people.
When they also displayed the doctor's picture on the screen—who was heavily involved in your torture—your lips parted in disbelief. The reporter was telling the public that Soldier Boy had blown up his house and him as well.
“What have you done?” you murmered to Ben whose lethal green eyes were fixed on yours.
Next Chapter
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A/N: Comments and reblogs are very appreciated!
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