#I connected two dots -you didn’t connect shit meme here | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

domsaysstuff · 2 years

Text

Pointing out the dots.

So, I’m here to just share some thoughts that I had abt the final episode that make me absolutely apeshit crazy. Like I see the dots, I’m able to connect them (insert “i’ve connected the dots” “you didn’t connect shit” “i’ve connected them” meme here) but fuck if I know what they really mean. But I will share my thoughts anyway.

Starting off with Green. Fucking Green.

As I have pointed out in this post. It’s kind of strange that Porsche’s suit is green here, same with the fucking small lamp next to Korn. Thanks to Nemi’s incredible work on the Meta Doc I was able to revisit our fandom’s thoughts on green again.

So in this, this and this posts green means danger and I’m sure there is more posts that suggest that but I think this three will do just fine.

Now, danger actually suits the scenes of Porsche as the head of the minor family, we are meant to be seeing him as dangerous and powerfull so actually him wearing this color makes kind of sense.

What is interesting to me is the light on Korn’s desk. This makes me absolutely CRAZY. The fact that the green is almost hidden by the warm lighting, the fact that we see the fucking light the most prominent on the statue.

If you zoom in, it is a statue of someone playling violin. Now, they didn’t include it in the series but from what I know from the first trailer of the series that got canceled and from fandom is that Kinn plays the violin. The fact that the statue potentially representing Kinn is coated in the danger light makes me livid.

Next on the agenda we have fishes and methaphors and mind games.

Starting with the fishes. I find it so interesting that there originally were three fishes. Which moved to the two at the end. Also how we get the fishes everytime it’s abt Kinnporsche. Like chess metaphors are mainly about his war with Kan which I will explain in a minute. But when we have Korn seeing Kinnporsche first meeting and now “ending”, we have fucking beta fishes that are often pitted against each other.

I think it also ties in with Chess methaphor but what I am mainly seeing here is that Korn sees Kinn and Porsche as pieces, pets he has a control over and decides everything about them. Also I think the last scene of Korn with the fishes is a parallel to his last scene in ep1 with the chessboard. Like we had many parallels this episode with Kinnporsche for finale vs ep1 but it’s interesting to me that Korn gets one too. It’s again at the end of episode, he is manifesting his control over the characters, and he is being shady.

“Finally all the pieces are in place” vs “History is only written by the victor”

As for all the parallels for KinnPorsche it is to see how far they have come, the complition of their arc and to see the changes.

This is a complition of Korn’s chess metaphors arc. His war with Kan. Becasue this is who he has been playing against (also can I just mention that both his real chess opponent - Chan and his metaphorical chess opponent - Kan died this ep?) And the showdown at the secret library where Porsche’s mother was hidden was his final move. His winning move. Which also his outfit represnts, like gone are the sweater vests, he looks like a mafia boss (actually with all the black he looks like he is going to his own funeral, but HE IS WEARING ALL BLACK while Kan’s pants are white for pete’s sake, his shirt is burgundy?? and idk what THAT says really, actually Kan's outfit may not mean anything but that he is a clown but what is a girl supposed to do but overthink)

He had Kun where he wanted him. Check-

Like I was wondering why he didn’t kill him after Tawan fiasco but he didn’t have enough to back him up and since we have seen in ep14 how most people they have deals with would go for Kan rather then Kinn, the little evidence would further put danger in Kinn’s status as a leader but!

Kan allegedly killing Korn and then storming the main house, trying for a coup? A perfect reason and killing Kan actually would show Kinn’s display of control and power this time. And Kan just went into that trap willingly and blissfully unaware. -Mate.

Also the floor at the library being white and black squares representing chessboard? *chief kiss*

Which actually brings me to the most unhinged chess thing in this entire show because I said so and it makes me crazy.

This.

Look how all of them are positioned. Kinn and Korn on black. Porsche half on black, half (the side holding the gun) on white in direct opposition to Korn and Kinn. BUT, that’s not enough to make me crazy. The crazy part comes after Porsche yells at Korn.

KINN SHIFTS TO WHITE!!

Like not fully, he still has one foot on black similar to Porsche but oh my god.

Both of them are split.

Porsche between how he feels, the truth he knows inside and that Korn is lying and between wanting to belive Korn’s lies (also I just know that when Korn was gaslighting Kan and said that Kan molested Porsche’s mother it was not only a hit at Kan's feelings and desires but also an attempt at further manipulating Porsche because he has experienced being druged and having sexual encounter with someone while not being able to fully consent. And he may have forgiven Kinn but that doesn’t mean the unpleasnt feelings abt the situation aren’t there and to have it happen to his mother too of all people? Porsche must have felt rage. But also it’s about Kinn and his guilt for doing that to Porsche and so he must have felt like his dad did a good thing rescuing and hiding her away from Kan) and his love for Kinn.

While Kinn is between his love for Porsche and his duty to his family, the responsibility and his love for his father.

It’s that duty and love that makes him step in and not let Porsche hurt his father.

And oh my, can I just talk about Kinn’s voice while he was saying “Don’t” to Porsche? Like it was so commanding and powerful but not at all how he usually commands. Usually his voice is light and unpersonal, disinterested while he is in his mafia persona. But here? Here it’s raw, personal, deep and emotional and I am on my knees mouth open for that man.

Next I want to say that I see you Korn and your manipulations. Like I’m sure Porsche wouldn’t have agreed so easily if it wasn’t Kinn, the man he loves, the man that makes him absolutely fold and has emotional control over him (just as Porsche has that emotional control over Kinn) giving him that ring. Korn knew what he was doing passing it down to Kinn to offer it to Porsche.

The last shot from that room. Pete’s bloody wings.

When I pointed it out to my friend first she said something that just took my breath away.

Pete is potrayed here as the Lucifer, the fallen angel, choosing Vegas/his feelings (himself) over the main family (heaven, god)

The writers of Kinnporsche really said *slaps VegasPete on the hood* this ship can fit so much religious imagery in it.

And then as I bring up one of my favourite shots we are going to talk about Kim.

This shot just encompasses the lonliness of Kim so well. Also it’s so dark against the light city. Dark vs light imagery as a contrast to Kim and the outside world?

But I want to talk how much he didn’t have a reaction to his dad’s death and there are three options

one) he just didn’t have a visible reaction bc he is shown to hide his emotions quite often

two) he knew he wasn’t dead

three) he was kind of glad that he was dead as we have seen him be so shady around him and we suspect their relationship is very strained

The fact that all of this options might be true? Absolutely just aaahhhh. Because this fandom talks how similar Kim is to Korn but this showcases it so much.

His father is dead and all we can do is speculate about what he is feeling.

We as a fandom don’t know concrete shit about Kim except few things here and there, but his motives, his thoughts and emotions are all speculations for us.

Just as Korn is.

We don’t know shit about the two of them, like not really and that makes them just so perfect to contrast each other. Because we at least know (or also suspect) that Kim is probably doing it to protect his family meanwhile Korn is doing it all for his own gain.

Anyway that’s all the dots I have in my brain as of now. I don’t know if I even made sense for half of this but I’m sharing it with you all so you can be unhinged about it with me.

#i'm feeling very kim and his murderboard right now #mom said it's my time to be kimlock holmes #kinnporsche #kinnporsche meta #i guess #kinn theerapanyakul #porsche kittisawasd #kinnporche the series #korn theerapanyakul #kim theerapanyakul #pete phongsakorn

385 notes · View notes

bookishjules · 2 years

Note

okay, so i just listened to the ‘feeling rotten’ episode of kraig’s retirement party (glory to kraig)

i’m gonna rope @lifeofbrybooks into this, because i have a compliment for the both of you. i have never enjoyed podcasts until this one. i got so much work done while just listening to you guys bouncing theories off each other, and it was fun. so thank you for proving podcasts can actually be fun to listen to

secondly, i listened to it because you had a theory similar to mine about the gun and why kit can fire it, and i agree with each of your points, but like what bry (at least i think it was bry) said, i’m just lost on why lucie wouldn’t be able to trigger the gun

so I COMBINED TWO OF YOUR THEORIES (i could have potentially zoned out and you may have done this already)

what if lucie could trigger the gun, but because she didn’t have a propelling factor (like the gracelet or kit blasting the riders into ‘thin air’ or links to the shadow world) she can’t unlock it?? if something happens between her and jesse (like you know the snippet where lucie can no longer touch jesse in cot for some reason), could she potentially then be able to fire the gun?

idk i’m tired and i’m probably just doing that one meme where he’s like i connected the dots! and the other guy is like you didn’t connect shit

hello love!!

first of all. I was not ready for that compliment. help 🙈 literally tearing up. I LOVE that you were still able to enjoy our silly chaotic podcast despite.. well everything lol but especially since you didn't have a positive view of podcasts before?? like I'm sorry?? blows my mind tbh and i just.. ugh I'm giving you a kiss on the forehead <3

OKAY. as for the theory...

I love the idea that Lucie has the ability to shoot the gun but just hasn't unlocked it yet. Bry and I discussed recently the potential for needing something to amplify or direct energy/magic in order to shoot the gun (maybe on top of already-established extra demon blood?). If this is how Kit's powers work as is, it would make sense if this (or he, himself?) allows him to shoot the gun. Bry suggested that maybe the gracelet acted in the same way for James, but we did a search of Chain of Iron and were reminded that the gracelet is already off (good fucking riddance) by the time the battle with Belial/Lilith happens and James shoots the gun. SO unless the gracelet has some sort of residual power over James, I don't think it was that which allowed him to shoot the gun. I also don't think the gracelet would have been able to unlock something in him, since it was working so hard to mask his true emotions etc.

your thought about the connection to the shadow realm being a "compelling factor" tho... and thinking about Lucie not being able to touch Jesse. It feels very like.. if she's begun to be given to the pull of the shadow realm because of the shady necromantic shit.. could that then make her able to use the gun in chot. gosh i would kill for that.

I feel like there are so many possible explanations for, or readings of, that snippet with Lucie saying she can't touch Jesse. but what if she gave part of her life force or solidity to Jesse in order to make him the way he is and therefore she exists in part in shadows? what if she had to take energy from the shadow realm to bring him here, or what if she rooted him in the shadow realm? I just LOVE the idea of Lucie having access to the shadow realm in some way too, for that to be the power source of sorts that her and Jamie's powers tie into. And if Lucie touches that in some way now and she's able to shoot the gun...

hmm vanishing into thin air and pulling things from thin air seems to be a common thread for our (supposedly) three special gun-slinging Herondales doesn't it?? I wonder how much that means.

so I guess in answer to your theory/question.. yes. I can absolutely see that happening. and I am dying for more thoughts and I can't wait for chot so we can see if Lucie gets to be a piece of this puzzle!!!

(also it's been a bit since I've listened to that episode, so sorry if I repeated anything I said there!!)

#krpartygoers #sobh #secrets of blackthorn hall #krp #krp ep 17 #kit herondale #james herondale #lucie herondale #tlh #the last hours #asks #nero 🎉#krp asks

20 notes · View notes

ahtsumu · 4 years

Text

long shots ; miya osamu

pairing: miya osamu x f!reader

synopsis: miya osamu is the teacher’s assistant for food chemistry i. you can’t stop thinking about him.

tag(s): college!au, slow burn, TA!miya osamu, grad student!reader, fluff, reader is a go-getter!! ; warning(s): profanity, suggestive themes, talk of insecurities and imposter syndrome ; wc: 5.6k

a/n: happy birthday to @starrysamu! i love u. pls excuse any errors. i’ll weed them out later! btw this fic is not a sugar daddy au LOL

HIS NAME IS Miya Osamu and he always looks like he has it all figured out. Comes in every class with his black hair perfectly tousled, the sleeves of his dark button-up rolled to his elbows, a cup of coffee in one hand and the strap of that black messenger bag in another.

“He drives a BMW, did ya know?” Isla says in your ear one morning. Your only friend in Food Chemistry I gives you a pointed look before sitting back in her chair in the lecture hall with a smirk on her face. “Saw it this morning. Bet he’s loaded.” The two of you watch the subject in question walk across the classroom and settle in his seat at the table in the corner.

“Shut up,” you whisper with wide eyes. A grin–– far from innocent–– makes its way onto your face. “Imagine being Miya Osamu’s sugar baby.”

“He’s not old enough to be a sugar daddy.” Isla looks at her nails disinterestedly. “And that’s too many AUs in one. He’s already the TA, for god’s sake. This isn’t some shitty Wattpad novel.”

A light giggle slips out of your lips. “I can see the title already. My Sugar Daddy is the TA?!”

Now, if anyone had been listening in on your conversation, they would’ve assumed many things about you. The first being that you’re both gold-diggers. This is untrue–– at least, in your case. Isla, you’re not so sure about, given how your friendship only goes back about one month. But she tags you in memes on Instagram so maybe it’s as real as real gets. Their second assumption would be that you have a big fat crush on your TA. That one’s complicated, mostly because it’s true, but only kinda. It all started in the second week of school when Isla caught you staring at Osamu and slipped you a post-it note with both your initials encircled in a heart. And, because you’re shameless with a good sense of humour, you made a show of kissing it while she was looking. And thus began your meaningless but incredibly entertaining, satirical, co-written fantasy about Miya Osamu.

It also didn’t help that on the first essay you got back, Isla’s paper had been marked up with “are you sure?”s and “this is a jump”s, while yours had “excellent reasoning” and “insightful analysis”. You’d even gotten a little comment at the bottom: y/n, fantastic work. you should speak up in class more often. –– OM

But Miya Osamu doesn’t play favourites because the next week you’d gotten another essay back, this time with another comment at the bottom: y/n, not your best work. you could’ve done better by connecting your first paragraph with the second using grant’s reading. conclusion lacked punch, too. all the best. –– OM

Every time you’d read the words scrawled in blue ink, you’d felt a pair of eyes on you. But you chalk it up to Osamu being a careful grader. A good TA. Someone who cares about his students.

Isla calls bullshit on that. You’re not really sure how to feel about her stance.

The classroom door opens and shuts again. You don’t have to look at your phone to know that it’s nine on the dot. Instead, you and Isla straighten your backs, pull out your notebooks, and focus. Your no-nonsense professor says “good morning” in her usual perky manner before jumping right into her keynote presentation.

“Did you all find the reading okay?” Professor Lee asks an hour into the lecture.

A chorus of “yes”s fill the air. You bite your lip, wondering if revealing that you didn’t understand shit will out you as the class idiot. Or maybe your silence is telling enough–– maybe the people in the seats beside you have noticed the grimace on your face and are having thoughts like ‘gee whiz, am I glad I’m not dumb like her’. Heat rushes to your cheeks. Sometimes you really wonder if you’re smart enough to be here. Occurrences like these do nothing to dispel your insecurities.

You vaguely hear her ask something like, “Any thoughts about the reading?” It’s not that you’re actually dumb. It’s just that this class is ridiculously hard for an introductory course, even for a graduate programme. From the start of the semester til now, fifteen people have dropped the class. There’s just twenty of you left. Guess a ridiculously hot TA can’t save a course’s drop-rate.

Before you can make your mind up on what to say, your professor moves on from her question.

As you look off to the side of the room for a break from your thoughts, you find a pair of blue-grey eyes pointed in your direction.

Everything about you, from the expression on your face to the way your muscles tense, makes you look like a deer caught in headlights–– even though he was the one caught staring in the first place. So maybe your shamelessness works on a scale.

Miya Osamu lifts one corner of his mouth.

And as if the exchange hadn’t happened at all, he looks back down at his laptop and continues typing.

The rest of the lecture goes through one ear and out the other.

“Everyone, I believe Osamu has something he wants to say,” Professor Lee says as everyone begins packing their bags.

The raven-haired TA slides out of his seat and sits on top of his desk. “Yeah.” Osamu clears his throat and crosses his arms over his chest. You notice how the muscles in his arms bulge from the movement.

“Whipped,” Isla mutters, grinning mischievously.

“Him for me,” you whisper back, though your eyes do travel back to his face where they should’ve been all along. Osamu catches your gaze and holds it. And then he looks away again.

“Now, I know you’re all Nobel prizewinners in the making,” he begins, garnering a round of snickers and giggles from your classmates. Most people say that cliques dissolve in college. That there’s no such thing as popularity amongst graduate students. That much, you agree with. But no one ever said anything about popular teacher’s assistants. Especially smart, attractive, witty teacher’s assistants like Miya Osamu. “But in case you didn’t understand the reading or would like to develop a deeper understanding of it, don’t hesitate to email me. I’ll try to host a review session all of us can attend.”

Professor Lee smiles appreciatively at Osamu, adding, “That’s a wonderful idea, Osamu. Guys, please take this opportunity if you struggled with the reading. I know eighty pages is a lot, but our next three classes are structured around the concepts in the reading and the mid-term next week will almost exclusively be about it, too.”

Well, shit.

To: [email protected]

Hi Osamu,

I was wondering if I could get some help with the reading from last class. To be frank, I couldn’t make it past page 15 and I’m lost like a snot-faced five-year-old in a shopping mall on Black Friday. Sorry. Thanks in advance!

Regretfully,

Y/N

MS Candidate

College of Agriculture and Life Sciences

Haikyuu University

From: [email protected]

no problem. is 5 pm tomorrow at jack’s okay? we start on the concepts from the reading next class so i want to get you up to speed asap. let me know. thanks.

PhD Candidate

College of Agriculture and Life Sciences

Haikyuu University

It’s five minutes to five when you pull into the parking lot of Jack’s Diner. The shiny, retrofuturistic eatery is a university favourite but the empty parking lot tells you it’s completely deserted right now (and rightfully so–– who eats dinner before six?). The black BMW parked a few spots from your car, however, says that you’re not alone.

Osamu’s figure comes into view as you reach for the handle to the front door of Jack’s. The twenty-six-year-old sits by himself at one of the bright red tables in the back, typing away on his dark grey laptop.

His head lifts up at the sound of the opening door. Osamu calls out your name and waves you over.

“Hi,” you greet with a smile, sitting down across from him.

“Hey.”

You look around before leaning forward on the table. “Is anyone else coming?”

“No.” Osamu sits back in his seat. “I thought about hosting one big group, but then I realised that it’d probably be stressful for the staff here.” He nods his head in the direction of the kitchen. “And I had a hunch that everyone would have different questions. Forcing everyone to review concepts they already know is a waste of time.”

At first, you nod. That makes sense. But then you furrow your brows. “So how long have you been here?”

Osamu blinks. He hadn’t expected you to ask about him. “Hmm? Oh.” He taps his phone to check the time. “Just a while.”

Quirking a brow, you ask, “And how long is ‘a while’ to you?”

“Seven hours,” he admits, chuckling lightly when he sees your jaw drop. “A lot of people had questions. They just don’t act like they do. Anyway, time flies. Really, it does.” Quickly, he clears his throat and sits forward. “So, about your email.” He grins. “Not sure if you meant it to be funny, but it was.”

“I’m glad my distress was entertaining for you. Do you TA just to watch grad students suffer?”

“Perks of the job,” Osamu says. His grin widens when you giggle. He’s never heard you laugh before and he realises at that moment that it’s really nice. And then that same grin falters. Gracefully, of course, and imperceptibly to you. But not to him. Is it okay for him to be… thinking things like that? About a student? But you’re not really his student since he’s just the TA. Right? Osamu ignores the weird feeling that comes over him and clasps his hands together at the edge of his laptop. “Back to your email. Can ya tell me what you’re confused about?”

Three hours and two Impossible Burgers later, you suddenly understand everything about food molecules so well that you wonder why you’d even been confused in the first place. But besides that, you’ve also picked up things about Osamu. As a person and not an idea. Not that you’d been actively searching for fun facts about your TA. But they’d stuck to your brain like gum at the bottom of a desk. He likes to slip sarcastic quips into a conversation every now and then. Eats burgers upside down (“The right way,” as he’d said, smirking). Is friendlier than he looks.

“You’re really good at explaining things,” you comment as Osamu shuts his laptop closed.

“Well, I kinda have to be,” he says. And maybe it’s the mental fatigue catching up on him or the fact that he’s real fond of the reason why he can break big concepts down into morsels but suddenly, the rest of his thoughts spill out his mouth like wine. “I have a twin brother with potato salad for brains.”

“Oh?”

And before he can stop himself, he tells you about Miya Atsumu, the pro-athlete you’ve definitely heard of but never gave too much thought. And then you hold onto the fact that they were both on the volleyball team and you ask of which school, so then he tells you about Inarizaki, the high school he attended, and then his decision not to go pro to go to college, and then––

“Sorry,” he laughs, cheeks turning pink. “You probably didn’t need to hear all that.”

“No, it’s fine,” you say–– and you mean it. “Your life is interesting.”

Osamu leans back in his chair. “Well, I’m sure yours is, too.” He holds your gaze like it’s the key to your presence. It’s an invitation. The kind that comes from people who don’t really know if they want you around but also don’t want you gone.

You take it.

Osamu shouldn’t–– he really shouldn’t–– but he wonders about the things you didn’t tell him the entire drive home.

Isla laughs when you tell her about what happened at Jack’s. You lay in bed with your phone next to you on speaker, your face turned on your pillow so that you’re staring out the window at the city below.

“He wants you,” she sings.

“Or he was just being nice.”

“Methinks not!” Isla giggles. “He’s intrigued, girl! You’re like that cute little new mystery in his life and he just wants to get to know you.”

“I think he was just being polite.”

“Or he’s crushing on you!”

“In your dreams.”

“You mean yours? Boo, you’re no fun today. Usually, you go along with the jokes.” Isla’s tone is playful on the surface but full of implications.

A few silent seconds pass. Yeah, you think, agreeing. I do.

“Girl,” Isla drags out the word in a high pitch, saying it like a scientist says ‘eureka’. “You’re not playing along anymore because it’s real now. You're actually catching feelings!”

“Am not!” you laugh.

“The Y/N I knew would’ve said ‘nah, bitch, he’s catching feelings’ and I think that says all there is to say.”

“Okay, I think he’s cute but it’s not a crush,” you concede, grinning. “And he’s the TA, Isles. It’d never happen.”

“Not while he’s still a TA in a class you take.”

“Isla.”

“Ask him out once this semester ends! Unless you’re chicken.”

“I’m not asking him out.”

“Knew you were––”

“Have you seen me? He’s asking me out.”

Miya Osamu walks through the door at eight-fifty as usual that next morning, dressed in his usual button-up, holding his usual cup of coffee. But this time, as the rest of his tall frame passes through the doorway, Osamu’s eyes subtly scan the faces in the lecture hall, lingering for just a while over yours. The corners of your lips turn up. You hope he saw that.

“Bitch!” Isla whisper-screams. The students sitting around you turn around at the noise and grin at each other when they realise it’s just Isla being… well, Isla. She shoos them away jokingly.

“What?” you whisper back.

“Care to explain why our TA was literally eye-fucking you?”

“That was hardly eye-fucking,” you retort. “Maybe like an eye-handshake.”

“Yeah, a naked eye-handshake where his thang is handshaking your––”

He does it again the next class.

And the next.

And then he doesn’t. Miya Osamu walks through the door to Food Chemistry I at eight-fifty in the morning in a navy blue button-up with a cup of coffee in his hand and looks through the rows of seats in the lecture hall for your face, only to find it missing.

He debates pressing the matter.

To: [email protected]

hey osamu,

i wasn’t in class today because i’ve been sick with the flu (no big deal, just feel like i’m dying). a classmate sent me pictures of the slides from today so i think i should be fine, but is it okay if i email you with any questions? thank you very much!

miserably,

Y/N

MS Candidate

College of Agriculture and Life Sciences

Haikyuu University

From: [email protected]

y/n,

of course. sorry to hear that you’re sick. let me know if i can do anything to help you. the midterm is next week. get well soon.

PhD Candidate

College of Agriculture and Life Sciences

Haikyuu University

“You writing that the midterm is next week did not offer me any peace of mind, by the way,” you say, spinning around in your chair as Miya Osamu enters your pod in the library.

He offers you a wry grin. “Hello to ya, too.”

“Was that an accent?” You thought you’d heard one at Jack’s, but you couldn’t be sure because it’d been so spotty.

Osamu slips into the seat beside yours and pulls out the laptop in his messenger bag. You catch a whiff of his cologne–– something spicy and woody, but clean. It suits him. “Nice catch. Yeah, I speak a regional dialect. Took me a while to smooth it over but it still resurfaces every now and then.”

“Why?”

“It just didn’t seem fitting for a PhD candidate, I guess,” Osamu explains, opening the slides from the class you missed. A day after your initial exchange, you’d emailed him again (with a much clearer mind) and asked if he could go over the slides with you in person.

i literally feel like i’ve been given the homework from russian lit, you’d written. except the russian has been translated to hieroglyphs and my task is to choreograph an interpretive dance based on the hieroglyphs.

Osamu had snickered when he saw your email. that doesn’t even make sense. must be the fever talking, he’d been tempted to write. But that strange feeling had come over him again, the one that’d screamed at him to keep it professional, goddamnit, so he’d played it safe instead and sent is eight pm at the main library okay? He hates that you’re getting a watered-down version of his personality. Osamu swears he’s a lot more interesting when he’s not, well, a TA.

“I think it’s fine,” you say, smiling. “I like it. It’s you.” And suddenly, you’re wondering if it’s okay to be complimenting your TA. If it’s okay to say that you like things about him, or if that crosses some grey, unclear line. Is it weird to treat your TAs like they’re your friends? It’s not like TAs are real teachers. Right?

A grin–– wide and genuine and almost excited–– grows on Osamu’s face. He rubs the back of his neck as his eyes flit over to the laptop screen. “Thanks. Really.”

You nod. But you feel like there’s more that he might want to say, so you wait.

“I got a lot of shit for it when I came here for my master’s, y’know. Not to my face, of course, but people would refer to me as ‘the guy with the accent’. A professor once said it made me seem crass. Said it’d hold me back in my career.”

“So you changed.”

“Adapted,” Osamu corrects. “It’s hard to admit but conforming is sometimes all you can do when you don’t have the power to change the system. Can’t really make everyone suddenly respect a dialect.”

“And after you’re finished with your PhD, you’ll go back to speaking in that dialect?”

Osamu looks out the window and smiles, probably imagining the plans he’s already made about the future. “Yeah.”

“What if you have to speak the standard language at your job? Like, your boss is all, ‘hey man, if you don’t speak––”’

“I’ll be the boss.”

“Oh?”

And with a little more prodding, Miya Osamu tells you about the restaurant chain he plans on opening after graduation, the slides about food additives left completely untouched.

The librarian knocks on your pod a few minutes before eleven to tell you they’re closing.

“Shit,” Osamu murmurs, running his hands through his hair. You’re still laughing about something he’d said before the librarian interrupted him–– one of his stories from high school–– and he thinks that you’ve completely forgotten that the reason you came to the library was to catch up on the material you were already behind on. And now you’re behind on that. But you look so carefree right now and, actually, you’re very pretty and you’ve got such a good heart and it’s a lot for him to process but he knows he just wants to see you happy a while longer. So Osamu just slumps back in his chair and laughs along with you.

He says your name as his chuckles grow softer. “It’s pretty late. How’re you getting home?”

“I’ve a bike,” you reply. It’s good for the environment and is a pretty solid form of exercise if you do say so yourself. Sometimes you just don’t feel like driving.

Osamu presses his lips in a thin line. Would it be too much to offer you a ride? “I can drive you home. It’s really not safe for you to be alone outside, especially near midnight. You can get your bike tomorrow. Or I’ll get it for you.”

He drives fast. Not the unsafe fast that speed demons drive at, but the kind of fast where you know he’s got some edge to his character. You bring it up to him–– especially since it’s nighttime, for god’s sake, he could hit something–– and all he does is remind you how there are lamps as bright as the sun lining the entire road to your dorm. And the fact that you live in the least accessible dorm on campus.

“A twenty-minute drive?” he’d exclaimed when he saw the GPS monitor.

“A bunch of roads are closed for construction. It’s a ten-minute bike-ride because I can cut through campus.” And suddenly feeling a little burdensome, you’d added, “Sorry. I can still bike––”

“No.” He’d held his hand out in front of you, gesturing for you to stay in the passenger’s seat. “It’s not a bother at all.” Because it wasn’t. Osamu was… happy. Not that he’d admit that.

“So this BMW,” you start in a teasing tone.

Osamu smirks. “A gift.”

“Can I guess from who?”

“Sure.”

“Atsumu.”

His brows rise. “Colour me impressed.” He hadn’t expected you to remember anything he’d said about Atsumu. Or maybe he had but told himself otherwise to lower his hopes.

“I’m smart like that.”

He snorts. “Not if you keep distracting me and using your review time to…” hang out with me, get to know me, tell me things about you… “…goof off.”

You grimace. “Yeah. Sorry about that.”

Osamu makes a turn down a familiar street. It dawns upon you that you're ten minutes away from your dorm and suddenly you wish he’d just make the wrong turn at the next intersection so that you could talk to him some more. It can even be about the health benefits of fish or the molecular makeup of kale–– you don’t mind. You just want to be around him longer.

“I think you’re really smart,” Osamu says quietly. “I think you’re not processing the readings because you’re distracted, or just not fully applying yourself. Obviously, last class’s slides are a different thing, since you were absent. But you really are smart. I’ve seen your papers.”

You bite your lip to hide your grin, feeling heat rush to your cheeks. “Thank you.” You look out the window, too jacked on dopamine to think straight. “I think I still need you, though.”

And that innocuous little sentence floats right out your mouth into the air, settling between you like a little wedge before either of you even realise it. Neither of you says anything. You marinate in the awkwardness before stuttering out a clarification. “To, um, to explain things. Y’know, since you’re, uh, so good at… explaining things.”

Osamu clears his throat and chuckles stiffly. There’s a slightly pink tinge to his cheeks. “Thanks,” he says, looking straight ahead. He can’t even look at you. Fuck. It’s so awkward. “I’ll try to keep… explaining things.” Fuck. What does that even mean?

A few uncomfortable minutes pass in silence. The night can’t end like this, you think. It can’t when everything else had gone so well. You still have to see him for a few more months. “Did you know,” you start, catching Osamu’s attention, “that Jack’s Diner has a location in Italy?”

“Oh?” he asks, making the final turn to the street where your dorm is. He actually hadn’t.

“Yeah. I asked the owner about the chain a while back. Have you ever been to Italy?”

Osamu shakes his head. “I’ve been to Paris, though. To see a friend. He’s a chocolatier.”

Now, if Osamu had been your friend, you would’ve said something like well, let’s go to Italy together, except he’s not. He’s your TA and you’ve been reminded that enough tonight. So instead, you say, “When you open that restaurant of yours in Italy, let me know.”

“That’s gonna take a while,” he laughs. He appreciates how you said ‘when’, though. And he tucks that little bit of confidence you have in him somewhere deep in his mind so that it doesn’t get lost.

“Isn’t that just seven hours?” you shrug, grinning. Osamu’s BMW pulls up outside your dorm and parks as he marvels at what you just said. You’re amazing. You unbuckle your seatbelt and turn to face your driver.

“Thank you for driving me,” you say, offering him a smile.

“Yeah,” he replies.

You stretch out your hand. With a puzzled look on his face, Osamu grabs it and shakes it. Firmly. You can’t help but notice how nice his hands are. Calloused for sure, but they feel nice.

“Goodnight, Osamu.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

He watches you jog into the building before driving away. And it’s like you’ve possessed his car or something because the smell of your shampoo and perfume is everywhere and it’s too much but it’s also not enough at the same time and he can feel your palm against his as he spins the steering wheel to make a turn and for the first time in his life he doesn’t turn on the radio to fill the silence in his car. Osamu replays everything you said in his head.

But he especially thinks about that part where you said you need him.

Weeks melt into months. You turn in essays after essays for Food Chemistry I, each coming back with detailed commentary in an all-too-familiar blue scrawl. All your other classes go well–– extremely well, actually. You might just end the semester with a 4.0 if Food Chem doesn’t fuck you over. Isla still tags you in memes on Instagram. You still tell her about everything that happens with Osamu.

Speaking of.

“That’s the wrong equation,” he says behind your ear as he settles in the seat beside you. The sound of his low voice so close to your ear sends a small shiver down your spine. “You gotta switch the hydrogens.” Osamu knocks on your skull lightly. “What’s goin’ on up in there? Ya got somethin’ on your mind?”

You laugh and elbow him in the side. “Shut up, ‘Samu.” He’d told you during one of his office hours that he’d gone by that nickname because he had a teammate with a foreign name in high school. It sounded so cool, he’d said, grinning.

I think Osamu sounds pretty cool already, you’d teased.

And he’d replied, Let’s trade. I like yours, you like mine, why not share?

You teeter on the line between friends and less-than-friends and, oddly enough, more-than-friends. Sometimes you still play it safe. Sometimes he pauses between texts and real-time conversations, no doubt to scrap an instinctive reply for something more “professional”. Sometimes you say things that make him look at you with the ghost of a smile at the corners of his lips. Sometimes he calls Atsumu to scream about you.

“S’not a no,” Osamu points out. He’s dressed in a black sweater and grey trousers today. You’re suddenly reminded of how the weather’s been getting colder when someone opens the door to the university café and lets in a gust of chilly autumn air.

“Okay,” you admit, setting down the pencil. “I just… don’t really feel prepared for this next test.”

Osamu frowns and looks down at your worksheet. “Your process is correct, though.”

“Right, but… I don’t know. I’ve just not been feeling great about myself lately,” you laugh, looking down at your feet. “Food Chem’s the toughest class I’ve ever taken. And remember how I completely embarrassed myself in that class discussion last week? It’s not really making me feel like I belong here.”

“Imposter syndrome,” Osamu remarks.

“Correct-o.”

He says your name softly and puts a gentle hand on your shoulder. “Maybe you’re not the smartest, but you’re definitely smart. And you belong here. I’ve seen your papers. They’re just as great as anyone else’s and I don’t hand out compliments for nothin’. You’re gonna do some great things but ya can’t improve if you ever give up.” Osamu searches your eyes for a sign of your understanding.

There’re a lot of things you want to say but you don’t know how to put them into words. “Can I hug you?” you finally ask.

Osamu doesn’t even think about it. “Of course.”

He feels you smile against his chest and wonders if you can feel his heart beat faster.

Isla camps out in your dorm as finals come around the corner.

“I don’t understand shit!” she wails, throwing her notebook into the air.

“Isles, it’s okay,” you laugh, slipping out of your chair and walking over to her nest in the corner. “You gotta chill, dude.”

“Not fair! I didn’t have a hunk holding my hand through this course all semester,” she retorts, humour glittering in her dark eyes. “I had the Organic Chemistry Tutor and his accent’s cute enough but, girl, you had Miya Fucking Osamu!”

“You’re literally the worst.” You giggle and sit down beside her. “Tell me what you’re confused about. I’ll try to explain it to you.” The way Osamu does.

You text him that you’d channelled his brains later that night.

His reply comes seconds later. all you, einstein.

From: osamu

good luck on the exam

you’re going to kill it

To: osamu

would u like to divulge any… information about it? 😏 😏 😏

From: osamu

bye

To: osamu

i was kidding :(

From: osamu

fine. tip #1: write your name

To: osamu

not very helpful. 0/10

From: osamu

keep running your mouth and 0/10 is what your score’s going to be

i’m kidding

you got this, y/n

“Holy fuck,” Isla groans as you cross the street to head to lunch at Jack’s. “If you don’t see me next semester it’s because I’ve gotten my grade back and decided to drop out.”

“What would you do?” you ask, amused.

“Maybe move to New Zealand. Raise some sheep. Marry a hot, blond shepherd and fuck off to a cliffside cottage.”

“Solid plan.”

“What about you?” she asks.

“What about me?”

“Remember that conversation we had at the start of the year? About your man?” The two of you reach another red light for pedestrians.

“We’re friends. He’s not my man,” you laugh. Though it pains you to. Something about being Miya Osamu’s friend doesn’t really sit right with you, but you don’t know how to not be his friend. You don’t know how to move out of the corner you’ve backed yourself into.

“But you wish he were! And now you can finally hit him with that ‘Hey, Osamu, I’ve been madly in love with you since the start of the semester, wanna fuck like rabbits and then open that store in Italy?’ and he’ll be all––”

A throat clears behind you. With wide eyes, the two of you turn around.

Holy fuck.

Miya Osamu stands behind you with his hands in his pockets and an enormous smirk on his face.

“He’ll be all what?” he asks, eyes fixed on you.

Isla murmurs an excuse and starts walking on her own to Jack’s.

“Um.” You swallow nervously and shrink in your coat. “You heard all of that, right?”

“Yep.” Osamu grins. He grins. He’s grinning. He’s smiling like he’s won the fucking lottery and you honestly don’t know what to do with that information.

“So, like,” you look down at the sidewalk and kick at a pebble, “what are your thoughts about that?” God, you could die. “‘Cause I know you’re a TA and it’d probably look pretty bad and I don’t want anything bad to happen to you because I like you and it’s cool if we just…”

Osamu interrupts you with a laugh. “My thoughts,” he says, “are that I want to kiss you.” His fingers lift your chin up. “What are your thoughts about that?”

Well, shit. “I think that’s pretty cool, yeah,” you breathe, eyelids fluttering shut as his face comes closer to yours.

He tastes like mint. And his lips move softly, slowly against yours like he’s savouring the moment. And then you feel his hands snake around your waist to pull you closer–– closer because you both are tired of forcing the distance between bodies that want to be near each other, closer because he’s thought about kissing you just like this for so long, closer because you remember the last time he’d touched you was three days ago and it was just a brush of his fingers against your arm and that feeling of wanting more haunted you for the entire night. But holy shit, Miya Osamu is kissing you. He’s kissing you.

And then he pulls away. His dark eyes flit over yours. “I,” he breathes, “I need your course load next semester.”

“What?” you ask, disbelief written all over your features, chest rising and falling as you try to steady your breathing. You just kissed, for God's sake, and he's––

“I need to know which courses not to apply to TA for,” he grins, cupping your face in his hands. “Can’t be teachin’ in a class with my girlfriend as a student.”

“So we’re official?” you ask, beaming.

“If you want,” Osamu replies with a smirk.

You grab the front of his coat and tug him down for another kiss. “Hell yeah, I want to be official.”

#miya osamu #miya osamu x reader #miya osamu scenarios #miya osamu imagines

1K notes · View notes

autisticshadowthehedgehog · 4 years

Text

Babylon Rogues Theory Update: It’s a Fucking Birdemic Out There

OKAY SO A SIMPLE CONVERSATION ON THE SONIC DISCORD HAS TURNED INTO A PEPE SILVIA CONSPIRACY

[ID: The Pepe Silva meme, but the chaos map is covered with images from Sonic, such as Jet the Hawk, Longclaw the Owl opening a ring-portal, Space Colony ARK, Old Man Owl from the OVA, Shadow the Hedgehog, the Flickies in Sonic X, Extreme Gear Boots, and Shahra the Genie. End ID.]

WE’VE STUMBLED ONTO A FRANCHISE-WIDE CONSPIRACY INVOLVING FLICKIES, DIMENSION-HOPPING, AND SHADOW BEING PART BIRD. STRAP THE FUCK IN.

First of all, this conversation was spurned on by the assumption, which I proved yesterday, that the Babylon Rogues are from another dimension than regular Mobius and were powerful dimension-hoppers until crashing.

We began the conversation simply. With flickies.

@quartzquadrant mentioned their theory that the Babylonians were an attempt to reintroduce the flickies into the series as actual characters, as the flickies were originally conceptualized to be from another dimension, as revealed in Sonic 3D Blast.

But here’s the fun thing: what’s that exact reveal?

[ID: A photo of the flickies from Sonic 3D Blast, captioned: “Flickies are mysterious birds. They live in another dimension and can travel anywhere through large rings.” End ID.]

Now “another dimension” was just relating to the Babylonians-are-Dimension-Hoppers conspiracy, buT look at that last bit! THE FLICKIES CAN TRAVEL ANYWHERE THROUGH LARGE RINGS.

Such as............. in Sonic 2020?

But here’s the thing.... who was the first character (and ONLY, considering she had to give them to Sonic) who HAD these portal rings?

LONGCLAW. THE OWL. OWLS ARE BIRDS GUYS.

[ID: Longclaw the Owl from Sonic 2020, opening a portal to another planet with a magical ring. End ID.]

Longclaw ALSO shares a design with tiles found in both the movie and the original Sonic the Hedgehog game, linking her closely with the classic world the Flickies are associated with.

[ID: Photos from both Sonic 2020 and Sonic the Hedgehog (1991), in which an owl face very similar to Longclaw appears in the stones and tiles. End ID.]

[ID: A gif of Freckle from The Gay and Wondrous Life of Caleb Gallo, saying “What does it mean? What does it all mean?” End ID.]

But she’s not the only owl in the franchise! Aside from the comics, there’s a couple owls- a judge in Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, a mystical keeper of the time stones in SatAM (...interesting) and..... Old Man Owl from the Sonic OVA!

[ID: Old Man Owl from the Sonic OVA. He is wearing insanely 90s clothing and carrying a tubular skateboard. End ID.]

Old Man states early on in the film that he used to be a racer in his youth... a racer like the Babylon Rogues.

[ID: A promotional photo of the modern Babylon Rogues. Wave the Swallow is on the left, Jet the Hawk in the middle, and Storm the Albatross on the right. They are riding their Extreme Gear™ hoverboards in a race. End ID.]

We’ve come full circle, but this isn’t the end of the conspiracy linking all these birds together. No, no, the conversation continued quickly, and @zorloser mentioned that, in Sonic Riders, the Babylonians were referred to as genies, which is something i included in my dimension-hopping conspiracy. However, you know who else is linked to genies?

SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG.

[ID: Two screenshots from Sonic Adventure 2, of Shadow the Hedgehog. He has just been released from cryo, and says, “Since you were so kind to release me, my master... I will grant you one wish.” End ID.]

These are Shadow’s first lines in Dark Story of Sonic Adventure 2, his introductory game, and his lines reference the motifs of gaining wishes by freeing genies. Shadow’s main plotline in SA2, as well, was the desire to grant the wishes of others, firstly Gerald’s wish for destruction and then Maria’s for peace.

Know what Shadow also is, like the Babylon Rogues? An ALIEN! He has the dna of the Black Arms aliens!

[ID: Shadow standing beside his insanely tall demon dad, Black Doom, who is probably a tumblr sexyman in another dimension I’m glad I don’t live in. End ID.]

As he “dies,” he also appears like a shooting star, such as the Arks of the Cosmos.

[ID: The Arks of the Cosmos falling from the Babylon Garden out in space, like shooting stars. End ID.]

ARKs. Like SPACE COLONY ARK. SHADOW’S HOME.

[ID: The Space Colony ARK, a floating satellite colony, as seen in the intro to Shadow the Hedgehog. It hovers above Earth with the sun behind it. End ID.]

But this all doesn’t stop there, oh no. No, no, because we realized, looking at Jet and Shadow’s designs, that they have way too many similarities.

As you can see, they have the same shape of chest fluff. Their gloves have those red-and-black squares and rings on the wrist. They have the same red, black and white colors on their shoes. They both have highlights on their quills/feathers in a similar shape, and they both have that red/black eyeshadow.

Both characters are also the leaders of their respective teams, as well as Sonic’s homoerotic rivals desperate to race him and prove they’re faster.

[ID: A gif from The Incredibles, of the teacher shouting, “Coincidence? I think NOT!” End ID.]

And it’s not just that... Shadow’s shoes are rocket boots that give him the ability to hover and glide. Know what else exists? EXTREME GEAR SHOES.

[ID: a comparison of the Extreme Gear™ shoes with Shadow’s weirdass shoes. End ID.]

Also, you know who else chose to take the form of Shadow the Hedgehog??? MEPHILES. Whose chest fluff not only looks vaguely bird-shaped, but if half of the god Solaris... a BIRD.

[ID: A closeup of Mephiles the Dark, who took the form of Shadow the hedgehog. His chest fluff resembles the silhouette a bird in flight. End ID.]

[ID: Solaris; its wings are spread like a bird and like Mephiles’s chest fluff. End ID.]

Birds are, somehow, everywhere in the Sonic franchise. They have been present from game one and keep being linked to symbols of power. And with the connection of the Babylon Rogues to Shadow, this can only mean one thing.

SHADOW IS PART BIRD.

[ID: A meme from Buzzfeed Unsolved. Shane, delusional, says “i’ve connected the two dots.” Ryan, just as delusional, responds “you didn’t connect shit,” to which Shane simply replies, “I’ve connected them.” End ID.]

thank you and goodnight.

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic riders #shadow the hedgehog #jet the hawk #babylon rogues #sonic 2020 #sonic ova #sonic 3d blast #sonic theory #connie theories #mine

441 notes · View notes

sherlock-is-ace · 3 years

Note

1, 2, 18, 23 for the granada ask :)

1Hi, thanks! I just answered 18 and 23, here

1 - What's your favorite episode and why? I have a soft spot for The Speckled Band, idk why, I just really love that storie, and it's the one that I remembered the most from the canon so I was excited to see in the show in my first watch through :') But I also like The Final Problem and The Empty House because feelings. And lastly The Abbey Grange because it's in the videogame Crimes & Punishments and I had fun solving that before even watching the show and hearing the story (that's one of the ones I haven't read). Also in the game you get to play as Toby for a little bit on that case kjfhgkg

2 - What’s your favorite photo/still from the series? Oof there's so many!! kdfjghdg I can't possibly choose a favorite... If we're talking actual screenshots from the actual episodes, than all of them, every frame. But I'm gonna give you some promo pics that I love cause I have an excuse :')

(in no particular order)

1. This feels like the unsolved meme. I've connected the two dots", "you didn't connect shit", "I've connected them"

2. This, because they look like they're ready to get their couple's portrait taken :')

3. And this one because it's adorable, just look at this man <3

Granada Holmes Asks

#ask game #ask #believemetobee #granada holmes

24 notes · View notes

quwarichi · 3 years

Note

Gotta say Cas was the only reason I watched SPN but at the end of ep3 of s15 I cheered when he left. I'd never been prouder of him than I was at that moment. And I didn't want him to come back. With my whole chest I was screaming GOOD FOR YOU, CAS! And honestly even after Dean's prayer later in the season, I didn't think Cas was right to go back. I don't think Dean deserved Cas's goodbye speech. I don't think he deserved all those compliments.. or Cas's love. IMO Cas deserved better.. than Dean.

hmmm.... let's analyze the situation, shall we? I think that the root of our problem, our disagreement, seems to be in 15.03. I'll be taking some pointers from this post and say that Cas leaving at the end of the episode may be perceived as a "yas queen you get some self-respect", and while I'm all for it usually, this is not what actually happened.

Castiel, as a person, is one with deep-rooted insecurities and depression. Yes, you heard me, the boy's depressed, repressed, and insecure. It's important you keep that in mind for my next few points.

To quote another post: "In that process [expectations from Dean's character] I feel like even Cas fans don’t do enough digging into what makes Cas tick, what his weak points are, his fears, his cyclical dysfunctional hang-ups. Cas is a layered, complicated, well-developed character with a now 12 season history on the show, as a main character, even if he is less prominent than Sam and Dean, and as such, this means there are flaws as well as goodness in him." Cas is insecure as hell. He does shit that hurts others, has basically no self-confidence when it comes to his place in Dean and Sam's lives (though that begins to rectify around S12-13, 14.18 did a number on him) and what happened in 15.03 was the crux of it.

For my next point, I'm going back to how between the two, Cas is the truly repressed one. From his age alone, being rewritten repeatedly by Naomi every time he started showing emotions - the equivalent of a family resorting to a lobotomy because their son came out (which, harsh, yeah, but true) and that changes someone. It changes the way they process emotions. It changes the way they think and act.

Cas leaves in 15.03 not because he thinks that he deserves better, but because he doesn't think he deserves anything (from Dean). He's hurt and grieving over Jack and Dean's loss of faith in him - a big symbol between them. Cas HATES disappointing Dean. It goes all the way back to S6 and his plan to be God and can be found again and again throughout the seasons. He'd rather be alone and heartbroken than facing Dean's unrelenting will of not forgiving him, not moving past it. He thinks "It's time for me to move on" because he recognizes that Dean won't be stepping down from his stand, and a million things around them, all the years of unspoken words, come crashing down.

Look, did I cheer right there with you, internally, when Cas leaves Dean behind? Sorta. I was mostly crying because my babies are divorcing. I was cheering because this was the push I've been waiting for since season 13. It was the "bout time we get their crap together" moment.

I have a meta I wrote, about 15.06. I mention how Cas took his time in the episode to work out more of his insecurities. His issues. This brings me to 15.09, the Trap (also written by Bobo, who wrote 15.03)

In The Trap, Cas tells Dean "You couldn't forgive me, and you couldn't move on. You were too angry. I left, but you didn't stop me." That's where you should've been going "Good for you!" because that's where he recognizes he deserves better treatment.

Dean's apology was supposed to end up with an I Love You, but Cas stops him because in his mind is the "I've connected the dots" meme but replaced with the words "I've heard your prayer". He wanted an admission, an apology, a come home, please. And he got it. "You're my best friend (and so much more)" he got it.

Now, I can't do a lot for your feelings on the confession. In my mind, it was totally deserved, and Dean and Cas are in love. I've given you a... *looks up* lot of words explaining to you why I, personally, think your worries are unfounded but I'm not here to tell you what to feel.

Hope this accidental essay helps you out!

#asks #I have more to say on the subject but it links with Dean's character arc and this was a very Cas focused question #i enjoyed writing this #also check out the posts I've linked this to they're greay #15x03 spn #spn meta #castiel #dean winchester #destiel #destiel meta #spn

25 notes · View notes

j-reau · 4 years

Text

a hiatus or something

I didn’t want to post this. I told myself to give it until morning and sleep but I’ve been laying here for over an hour and I can’t sleep and I know I’m not going to sleep until I get it out. And I decided I’m not going to do the pretend things don’t bother us mentality that tumblr likes, the don’t show emotions on the dashboard, don’t let people know you’re hurt or angry out of fear it’ll be seen as ~drama or whatever thing stop me from just saying how I feel. Because I feel pretty shitty? I’ve been feeling shitty for a few days now. Maybe more. Last week I told myself that the drama that had randomly cropped up was just too much and I wasn’t going to let tumblr be something that made me cry or panic or kept me up at night over bullshit like arguing with someone over things that happened years ago. So I set my focus on my friends, on my dashboard, on reminding myself why I love RP and why I’ve been in it for this many years, for so long, with all of these people. Those Valentines I posted were part of that project for me. It was a reminder, for myself and my dash about all of the human connection that happens here, all the people we meet, all the little pieces of each other we take on and take with us, all the ships, all the conversations, however brief. From the people we just see on our dash to the ones we talk to about all our fears and insecurities. And how all of it matters.

I know how much we all love to say calm down gregg, it’s tumblr RP. I know how we all loathe this hellsite when we’re being our worst. I know how we all talk about how we’re too old for this now or we’re tired. We’re just here to write. I’m just here to write. I love writing. But what brings us all back time and time again, what keeps us here is the fact that it’s not just tumblr RP. It’s a community. Whether you have a real life that keeps you busy or your whole life is here, whether you have plenty of friends offline or all your closes people live on discord, we’re all people. And we all take this with us. We make friendships and we talk to each other. We open ourselves up to the constant trust and fear of interaction, of plotting, of who is going to reach out or send the meme. We build friendships based on that, we care for each other, we see each other’s bad days on the dash, and great days and inspiration. And it means something. It may just be tumblr RP, but it matters to us. Because of the people here, because we give a fuck about each other. Or at least I’ve always liked to hope we do. I have friends on this website I’ve had for ten years, some just for 3, and others just a few months. It always floors me how we can always come back to it, how we stick with each other or don’t, how we see the good and the bad and the ugly.

So to get on with it, I wrote those Valentines. I hit refresh on my blog and put the weird random drama in the past and moved forward. I made this blog for JJ only about 3 months ago. I don’t know how I got 500 followers in that short time but I did. And it’s. been the wildest experience I can possibly explain, having that happen so quickly, finding so many people out in the RPC that I hadn’t before on my other blogs. I felt fucking good. I was excited. Not just to write a character I had wanted to and loved for years but to find so many people who I vibed with. I remember writing a post about a month in and being so fucking ... floored. By how much I loved you all, by how amazing it was to be received like that still, to find people my age and who wrote things I liked and loved their female characters. I fucking love JJ. I LOVE THE SHIT out of my partners on this blog, even the new people I’m still itching to write with. And yet, I did that little refresh, posted my valentines , got ready to go and felt .... sad.

I tried to explain it. I tried to tell myself it was a bad mood. I hoped maybe it was medication. But I couldn’t shake the weird funk. And everywhere I looked it seemed like things were .... not good. My friends taking breaks, people feeling sad too, relationships splitting, people I liked and respected separating themselves. Tonight, one of my closest friends I’ve made on this blog blocked me. Someone I adored and trusted and absolutely loved to write with. Tumblr says we’re not supposed to care. That we’re supposed to let people draw their lines in the sand and take their leave and maybe we are. Maybe it’s important to let people make their choices. But I also think it’s important as fuck to talk to your friends, to mean what you say when you tell someone they’re important to you. I think it’s important that we remember on the other side of every blog and discord user is a person. Who has bad days and bad feelings and cries and feels insecure and tells themselves it’s just tumblr RP even when they know somehow it feels heavier when it’s bad. This was a friend I had talked to at length about all of those exact things, about how personal the community can feel sometimes, about feeling replaceable or invisible, even for the toughest most confident most take no shit people. I’ve always considered myself a pretty tough, confident, take no shit person. I think anyone who has known me for as many years as I’ve been around has seen that first hand. I don’t like how sad I’ve felt lately. I don’t like the insecurity that’s making me want to know why things feel way or why people vanish without so much as an explanation. I had to block a mutual last week I saw making fun of me on their twitter. A mutual. Someone who chose to follow me and on a public place where my other friends could see it made fun of what I posted. And I just don’t know what we’re doing anymore. It didn’t bother me. I don’t have hurt feelings over it. That’s the kind of stuff I definitely know I’m confident about. But .... it did really fucking floor me. Because here we are, on a sight where users talk about positivity and not sending anon hate, and we can treat each other like that.

I’ve been sitting up in bed for hours trying to figure out what to say or what to do. That’s what I do I guess. I try to figure out what to do, how we fix it, like somehow there’s some unified we and some responsibility to make things better. A lot of you have only known me for a few months so this probably sounds all kinds of nuts. And you’re probably going JJ you’ve been an emotional mess since the moment we met you. Because I feel like that’s how it’s been for the last few months. But that’s not how it’s always been for me. That’s not who I am. So for now I guess I’m just trying to figure out what I do. Instead of sitting here and spinning and trying to figure out how we as a community fix these gaping holes and the way we talk about each other like we’re disposable and treat each other like names on a list instead of people.

For now, I think what I do is take a little break. It’s the very thing I don’t want to do. Because it feels like quitting and it feels like being scared away. So I feel the need to promise whoever has read all of this and myself that that’s not what it is. Maybe I’ll be back in two days, maybe two weeks, who knows. But I need a break. From whatever this feeling is that seems to have come over things lately. I’ve loved these few months on this blog so much. And maybe that’s half the problem. Maybe I got spoiled and this is the come down. Maybe I’m just an idiot who thinks what we all want on this website is to find people and love each other and write together. I never knew that me -- the person often accused of being aloof and feelingsless and distant would somehow turn into the emotional bitch on this website but here we are I guess. I just don’t know how to navigate this anymore. I don’t know how to put my heart into relationships and friendships that can just be switched off like we can just stop caring about people. I don’t know how to ignore people who say horrible things and do horrible things to each other just because we don’t want to see it on our dashes. I don't know how to give enough of everything to everyone so that every single one of my mutuals and partners knows they’re valuable to me. I don’t know what I hope to accomplish. I don’t know when I got to be so much of a raw, frayed edge on tumblr dot com but that’s how I feel. And I hope in a few days or sometime soon I’ll have an answer or at least get my hard shell back.

I want to keep writing. I want to keep talking to you guys. I don’t want to lose anyone. I truly mean what I say when I say you’re all important to me. I plan to still be around on discord. I’ll write on discord if anyone wants to keep writing. If we aren’t discord friends yet and you want to be, send a message. I plan to come back. I don’t want to abandon anything. I’m so deeply fucking sorry for this rant, for all the overflow of feelings lately, for anyone that’s had to listen to them, for putting them on your dashes, for fucking all of it. Please be good to each other. Please talk to each other. Please remember that if we’ve crossed paths at any point on this blog, I value you. I value all of your friendships, your writing, your shitposts, your dash commentary, your tiktoks you dump at me on discord. I love you. Every last fucking one of you.

#💛✌🏼💛✌🏼💛✌🏼💛✌🏼💛✌🏼✌🏼✌🏼💛#i am dead fucking serious please feel free to stay in touch i just #need my dash closed for a while #message me if you want my discord

54 notes · View notes

feralphoenix · 4 years

Text

HOWMST BELL THE CAT? - A treatise on one aspect of how the Pale King sealed the Radiance

sup hollow knight fandom, i’m back with the picante takes again after having Noticed A Thing.

as with my previous essays i’ll put this guy up on dreamwidth later for accessibility purposes, since my layout text may be too small for high-res pc users. i will attach that in a reblog at a later point.

CONTENT WARNINGS FOR TONIGHT’S PROGRAM: This essay discusses canon-typical body horror and bodily boundary violations, with some side mentions of colonialism.

all game screencaps are mine. the screencap of the wiki is from the “developer notes” (style guide) section of the “cut content” page.

ALSO: if youre from a christian cultural upbringing (whether currently practicing, agnostic/secular, or atheist now), understand that some of what i’m discussing here may challenge you. if thinking thru the implications of this particular part of hollow knight worldbuilding/lore is distressing for you, PLEASE only approach this essay when youre in a safe mindset & open to listening, and ask the help of a therapist or anti-racism teacher/mentor to help you process your thoughts & feelings. just like keep in mind that youre listening to an ethnoreligiously marginalized person and please be respectful here or wherever else youre discussing this dang essay, ty

HOWMST BELL THE CAT? - A treatise on one aspect of how the Pale King sealed the Radiance

We understand more or less how the Pale King’s plan was supposed to work. Stuff Radiance into a no-thoughts-head-empty and silent Pure Vessel to trap, isolate, and silence her, both putting an end to the Infection and killing her for good. Stick that vessel in the Black Egg, which harnesses Void BS to both keep the vessel alive indefinitely and to cover Hallownest (and its neighbors) in a time-defying stasis so that the Pale King could successfully hoard his favorite shiny FOREVER, threatened by nothing. Then put a seal on the Black Egg to prevent anyone from getting inside and harming said vessel while it’s strung up and helpless. And THEN, put protective seals on the anchors (the Dreamers) to the Black Egg seal to protect them from any external harm: The stasis means the Dreamers won't die of old age or starvation.

All in all, a pretty foolproof plan!

...except that the Dreamers are still vulnerable to having their minds breached with the moths’ magic... and the Pale King failed to take into account that his Pure Vessel was a person actually and the amount of toxic stress his training/upbringing put on them made them REALLY POORLY SUITED FOR THEIR JOB... and also that killing 99% of his million children and turning the Abyss into a landfill for baby corpses would take enough of an emotional toll on his wife and #1 enabler the White Lady that she would walk out on him, ensuring he’d only ever have one shot at this whole deal...

Basically it’s the sort of plan that an emotionally constipated, low-empathy sort of guy who pours all his points into INT and has a big fat zero for WIS might think is foolproof. It has big holes in it that the Pale King did not consider to be big holes until he got owned by the various consequences of his actions and fell down said big holes, making the shocked pikachu face all the while. Rip in die, my guy.

Anyway, there’s a lot of incidental information scattered about the game that gives us more insight into the stages of TPK’s plan. Looking at Monomon’s notes in the Archive suggests that she was probably involved in designing the Black Egg; the hidden room in the Weavers’ den points to their being the ones to blueprint the Dreamer seal; the White Palace’s hidden rooms reveal both TPK’s morbid fascination with the Void and his mea culpa wrt his motives and the Path of Pain is certainly suggestive of a lot of things. The White Lady tells us straight out that she walked out on the Pale King because she wanted no part in a second vessel batch, but how TPK didn’t handle that is only revealed via map design and some incidental dialogue from the Old Stag.

This stuff presents us with, if not a full picture, then at least a decent connect-the-dots of certain aspects of crater politics and Pale Court drama at the time, and how exactly TPK’s plan came together.

But there is still one glaring question that these cookie crumbs do not provide us an answer to:

Who shall bell the cat?

How did TPK et al manage to stuff Radiance into Hollow in the first place?

This is the subject of a lot of memes and jokes within the fandom because it's so absurd. Radiance fuckin hates that dude! She’s probably gonna be pretty wary of him considering how he stole her people in the first place! And considering the anti-colonialism slant of the writing - beyond the general sympathetic view Team Cherry gives of each indigenous bug society, Seer makes it very clear that Radiance has very good reason to take violent action against Hallownest - the answer is probably not something like “she’s just that stupid” or “she rolled a crit fail”.

Well... I have an idea of how TPK managed to get Radiance in there. It raises about as many questions as it answers, mind, but it may be someplace to start.

[desc: the hollow knight's entry in the hunter’s journal. top text/ghost’s comment reads: “Fully grown Vessel, carrying the plague’s heart within its body.” bottom text/hunter’s comment says: “The old King of Hallownest... he must have been desperate to save his crumbling little world. The sacrifices he imposed on others... all for nothing.”]

Here we have Hollow’s bestiary entry. Most of what we’re concerned with here is the top text, which says the seal has literally trapped Radiance inside their body. (First of all, ew, TPK.)

We already knew Radiance is literally actually inside Hollow, though: The Infection is leaking out of their body, and to get to fight Radiance, Ghost has to go traipsing into their sibling’s mind. So what’s significant about that here?

[desc: screencap of the outside of the black egg temple, post-infected crossroads. there are large infection blobs in the foreground and background, connected to each other by veins that come from inside the temple.]

The infection blobs are weird and get weirder if you kill enough Lightseeds for the Hunter to tell you their origin story, i.e. that the literal actual sun has been having a very long bad day and cried a lot, and some of the liquid coalesced into living flesh, and some of that living flesh took on a mind of its own to become Lightseeds. (Hollow Knight is a WILD place.)

Lightseeds are Radiance’s accidental children and share a lot of her traits: They are harmless creatures that try to avoid conflict if possible but if pushed will get creative and find ways to fight regardless of their physical limitations. (For the Lightseeds this involves hiding inside Broken Vessel’s corpse and puppeting it around to try to stab you.) They even have her same distinctive yell. And according to the Hunter, they’re born from the infection blobs. These enemies only ever appear in the Ancient Basin, which both Radiance and the Void have ransacked, and in the Infected Crossroads.

The infection blobs are connected to and sort of a weird extension of Radiance because the Infection itself is sort of a weird extension of Radiance. In the game’s internal style guide Team Cherry explains that the Infection started as an accident, not her original intention but what happened when Hallownest tried to block her out.

[desc: screencap from the wiki of style notes attached to seer that describe a sketch of radiance’s finalized backstory. text reads: “The moth tribe were (perhaps) descended from Radiance. However, the King convinced them somehow to seal Radiance away. I guess so he could rule Hallownest with his singular vision, as a god/monarch with no other gods. The moths sealed Radiance away by forgetting about her. Hallownest was born and flourished. However, the memory of Radiance lingered (eg [sic] the statue at hallownest’s crown) and soon she began to reappear in dreams and starting [sic] exerting influence. The King and the bugs of Hallownest resisted this memory/power and it started to manifest as the Infection. Thus the first attempt to seal Radiance failed, and the King had to try another method - the Vessel.” emphasis mine.]

Some fans have posited the blobs as deposits of pupa juice, but given Team Cherry's description of the Infection’s origins I don’t know how likely that is. Since the Void also sticks its squamous tentacles into things via veiny looking things and the Nightmare’s Heart has similar veiny nonsense in the Nightmare Realm, I wonder if it isn’t just a Meddly God Shit thing in general.

Whatever the case, the blobs are very much connected to/a part of Radiance.

And when you’re hanging around them, you will notice two things: They pulse like they’re part of a circulatory system, and you can hear Radiance's heartbeat emanating from them.

[desc: screencap of the game’s title screen with the infected menu theme in use: a glowing orange ball at the center of a lot of black tendony webbing.]

Let’s also think of the Infected menu theme, which you unlock after getting either of the endings where Ghost takes over from Hollow and absorbs Radiance out of them. Ghost is infected and then sealed inside the Black Egg in Hollow's place. It’s suggested by the animation’s staging that Radiance briefly struggles to get out of Ghost after absorbed but is ultimately stuck in them, at which point the seal is reestablished.

If you haven’t used the Infected menu theme yourself, the... interesting thing about it is that it moves organically. The light ball expands and contracts - y’know, sort of like a living organ - and so does the black webby stuff around it.

Also, Radiance’s heartbeat is included in the theme's ambiance.

[desc: hollow’s bestiary entry again]

To cut to the chase, this part of Hollow’s bestiary entry that says “the plague’s heart”? I don’t think that’s just Ghost/Team Cherry being poetic. I think there’s a good chance it’s LITERAL.

I think TPK is the sort of person who could cram a native woman’s literal living beating heart inside his own child’s body so they can use it as... say, a focus to absorb and trap her mind/spirit inside their body, too. Mr. No Cost Too Great is capable of a lot in the name of keeping other people’s claws off his Big Shiny kingdom. This is kind of his whole brand.

But also, like, yuck.

This fits the worldbuilding too; generally speaking Hollow Knight is Body Horror City. Also there’s the case of Grimm: While he and Radiance are loose counterparts at best with WILDLY disparate outlooks and ethoses, his existence serves as precedent that a Higher Being’s heart specifically can be separate from the rest of them.

As I said before, though, this DOES raise as many questions as it answers. If this is another piece in the puzzle of how TPK belled the cat, we’re now left wondering how he got Radiance’s heart to use as Hollow's focus to begin with.

We know he has access to the Dream Realm because that’s ultimately where he hid when Hollow’s seal failed, but who did he send to do the stealing and how did they get away with it? (TPK certainly wouldn’t have gone; his own life’s the one cost too great for him to willingly pay.) Was Radiance’s heart separate from her like the Nightmare’s Heart, or was it a part of her body? (I think the latter is more likely just from her personality; Grimm’s hidden heart makes sense because of how he keeps even his own servants at arm’s length emotionally, whereas Radiance is all heart all the time. I think this makes more sense with their equal opposites schtick too. But this would make for a WAY riskier mission.)

I can imagine all kinds of possibilities. None of them are definitive, but the thing they have in common is that they are all Awful... and how on-brand that is for Hollow Knight as a whole is, maybe, the most persuasive argument for It’s Literally Actually Her Real Physical Heart there could be.

#hollow knight #hollow knight spoilers #hollow knight meta #the radiance #hk radiance #not sure if i should tag tpk bc i doubt therell be anything in here his stans will enjoy lol #long post under cut -#essay

72 notes · View notes

thejudgingtrash · 4 years

Note

would you class percy as a morally grey character? i’m really interested to hear your input

Anon 2: Would u class percy as an Morally Gray character?

Hey there! Let me write that essay for you about morally gray Percy ^^

It’s not about whether Percy is a morally gray character or not, it’s about he has to be otherwise the story doesn’t make any sense. At least for me it wouldn’t.

Ashley (@gr33kg0ds) said in the tags of my dark!Percy post something along the line of people diminishing Percy’s character because they need him to be pure and fluffy and I wholeheartedly agree with that!

Just because Percy’s twelve doesn’t mean he’s pure and didn’t do unproblematic things. I’ll mostly refer to The Lightning Thief because that book is the Magnus Opus for Riordan and perfectly stands for Percy as a morally gray character from the very beginning of the saga. (Also the only book I’ve recently re-read)

As much as I love fanon with all the amazing artworks, debates, memes and jokes, analysis, cool edits and wonderful fanfics, projecting your version of Percy doesn’t make the image in your head real. Percy in canon is not the fun and fluffy boy you imagine him to be or which social media sites (Reddit, Twitter, Instagram and yes, also Tumblr) tend to make him to be. He’s a scrawny little sarcastic twerp that was the unpopular kid. He isn’t that cringy dude Tony Lopez doing that fucking weird TikTok dance (side note: I don’t even know who this person is and I don't care, I saw the video and immediately wanted to delete every social media app on my phone, so thanks Tony?), kissing his Yeezys goodnight, vibing to our lord and gay icon Taylord “T. Swizzle” Swift song and flexing them iPhone 11 Max Pros. Percy literally said that going to Burger King with his mother once in a while would be considered a luxury. He’s a poor bastard in literal sense.

Part of the problem with the distinction of Percy’s character and his motives stem from the fact that Percy is a sneaky unreliable narrator and we as the audience (especially if you’re younger) don’t question most of his behavior if you even question some (pretty sure that most of us only picked up weird stuff as adults). Everything seems plausible to you. But does it mean that his behavior is necessarily good? Something that would paint his character as good?

Like I’ve said, let’s take a look at TLT. The very beginning of everything and the wonderful line that gets quoted everywhere: “Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood”.

The very first line that quoted everywhere or used as in moodboard and edits but its meaning and significance get brushed off for the most part. It immediately sets the tone and the atmosphere for the book and for Percy as a character. A(n in my opinion) morally gray character. The very first thing we hear from Percy is that he doesn’t want to be in this world. He’s an involuntary participant who has been (upon further reading) blackmailed and forced into this world and is only cooperating to get his mother back and said in regards to his father (who also stands for the Greek pantheon) ”well yeah, would be nice to know about my dad but I’ve survived without him the past twelve years so I don’t know, he wouldn’t be missed necessarily I guess?“ That pretty much tells you, it foreshadows, that we will be dealing with someone with grit, someone that fights back, someone that went through shit, someone that isn’t a goody two-shoed character. Does it mean he’s a terrible (in the sense of evil or bad) character from the get go? Not really, but it tells you in nuances that he won’t be the white shining knight you might expect from a fairy tale.

There is so much that little Perseus Jackson has to offer you directly in the first book. So much that paints him as a morally gray character. From the illegal candy stash all the way to tricking Procrustes into his own trap. He knows right from wrong and isn’t innocent by any means. He wants you to think he’s innocent. Yes, he hunts monsters and the book also tells you that some adults (Gabe) can also be monsters, but Percy’s personality is so interesting and full of facets which I love! He’s misleading you on purpose. Deflects, plays events down. He lies in front of you to others but you don’t really doubt it. Instead of questioning it, you understand it.

What distinguishes Percy from other male protagonists in that notion that the author doesn’t try to paint him as particularly good (the reader connects the dots, in reality) is pretty much that. Percy is neither inherently good or bad. He’s in the middle. He does lots of questionable things and his personality adds to it. Something that immediately comes to my mind is his lack of fear of consequences. He thinks in the short term and not in the long term. Of course, he’s caring about those that are close and important to him (Grover, Annabeth and his mother of course. And well. The world not getting destroyed by his weird father and fucking crazy uncle would be a plus). But Percy isn’t really a strategist (yet). Look at the Medusa head thingy. Annabeth and Grover warn him, that he’s gonna get his ass beat and he doesn’t care. That these gods could squish him in the end didn’t matter to him.

The Olympian gods are painted as these unpenetrable huge mighty force and some fuzzy annoyed twelve year old dipshit sends them the severed head of a monster - but not any monster, the monster his father had a role in creating (well, Athena for the most part, but you know what I mean). (Also, I know this kinda reckless behavior gets sorta rewarded but at first, everyone was like ‘NO, NO, NO!’ before Percy was glorious with his attempt). Percy essentially tells these ancient forces that drive the way of his new cosmos how shit‘s gonna work from now on.

Percy isn’t fear riddled and doesn’t think about the possible outcome. He manipulates, he lies, he persuades and all of this as soon as he hits twelve. But probably earlier. Pretty sure he had to become a believable lier in order to trick (survive being around) Gabe. Perseus is angry, he’s agitated. Had Riordan written Percy as a soft spoken, frightened, goody two-shoed kid, almost nothing in TLT and the follow-ups would have made sense. He’s the outcast, but slowly blossoms into the strength and muscles of the group. Of the entire camp. Someone that outsmarts opponents and wins battles. But he didn’t do that by playing nice and being a bootlicker.

TLT would’ve been a perfect standalone book that would have emphasized that Percy is an involuntary person sive) if you skip Kronos, leave a little bit foreshadowing with the prophecy out, tweak the talks with the gods and Annabeth’s first meeting and skip Luke and the scorpion at the end. The ending would’ve been “and so Percy had a first awesome summer vacation and found a group of friends for life” or so (aka PJO movie 1 in less shitty and more cohesive).

The morally gray character shrinks a little bit in the SOM because there lie straighter dangers ahead which dive more into the bigger picture and Percy grows more into the character who takes care of friends and but he does come back with TTC, and definitely BOTL and the St. Helens explosion.

Consequences of Percy’s interactions had people partially dying. There is doubt, there is guilt. But the show must go on. There are battles that have to be won. There is no big giving up, no big overturn for the bad guys.

Also... isn’t it interesting that we start with Percy saying ”look, I don’t want to be in this world“ in TLT and it ends with TLO where he says ”for once I didn’t look back“? The full circle? The way that accepting his fate took five books? To change Percy from being an involuntary participant to becoming voluntary? He didn’t want to be a half-blood, he didn’t want to be the kid in the prophecy, but he actively chose to be in the end. He went from a darker shade of gray to a mayhaps lighter, if you want to say so.

To conclude, I repeat myself again: it’s not about whether Percy is a morally gray character or not, it’s that he has to be.

Thanks for asking me about some meta stuff I really do like diving into these things here and there. Tumblr’s sorta glitchy, I do get notifications but I really don’t see asks, so I’m sorry if my response is mad late ^^

#mel answers #pjo #Percy Jackson #percy jackson and the olympians #the lightning thief #rick riordan #the last olympian

177 notes · View notes

missnight0wl · 3 years

Note

ngl I thought that maybe the Rakepick we encountered in the Sunken Vault (or Vault!Rakepick lol) could have been R's Metamorphagus all along because the impersonation is just so. Generic one-note cocky villain, which might be an impression that someone would go for if they only knew of Rakepick rather than knowing her directly...

But then I remembered that Vault!Jacob was also there, and it stands to reason that he could also be R's Metamorphagus, and unless they have two (which is unlikely, as they emphasise how rare metamorphagi are) it means that there can only be one.

UNLESS the Metamorphagus (god that's a mouthful) has a Time Turner and showed up first as Jacob, then rewound time and showed up as Rakepick meaning that they're BOTH the Metamorphagus!!! *insert spiderman pointing meme*

I've connected the dots except i haven't but also we've not had time turner fanservice yet so we can't put anything past jamcity 👀

All right, this might be one of the most convoluted time-travelling plots I’ve heard about, but you know what? I like it. I really do! :D It’s pretty silly, yet quite intriguing, and with the right execution, it could be simply entertaining. You made me smile with this idea :)

That being said, I think it also might be a bit too complicated for Jam City. It’s a very valid point that we didn’t have Time Turner fanservice yet, and I do expect it to appear at some point, but… I don’t know. I feel like they might try to do it in a more similar way to as it was in the books, meaning that something will happen, and MC will later discover that they’ve done it themselves etc. That’s just my hunch, though. Who knows what Jam City is really capable of.

Still, I didn’t abandon the idea that vault!Rakepick might’ve not been Rakepick at all – they’d just have to use a Polyjuice Potion. As you pointed out, her behaviour was ridiculous and simply out-of-character. Admittedly, the same can be said about Rakepick in the Portrait Vault, but the version in the Sunken Vault was somehow worse. And I keep thinking about her claiming to not remember Rowan’s name – which is so bullshit. She obviously did it purely to upset MC, but… Rakepick wouldn’t do it like that. She knew Rowan for two years, so she’d use that knowledge to hit MC super hard emotionally. I mean, she was pulling that emotional strings in the Portrait Vault! Taunting Merula about her parents? Saying she’d leave Jacob to rot anyway? And now, the best she could come up with was: “I didn’t bother to learn their name”? Bitch, please. Unless, of course, it was someone else who knows shit about Rowan, so it really was the best they could think of to upset MC.

Also, I think it goes along with the Rogues theory, Rakepick being compromised, and even with a Polyjuice Potion. As I mentioned previously while discussing this idea in general, R would want to use Rakepick’s appearance because MC already knew about her being their member, so they didn’t risk revealing anyone else’s identity. But consider this: R finds out that Patricia staged the meeting where MC learnt about the mole, perhaps even that she suggested the kid should Polyjuice into her. Now they want to bring her down, yet she manages to escape. Still, they can ruin her reputation even more than it was already tarnished by using her appearance. And how ironic would it be if they also used a Polyjuice Potion for that – the very same tool she used to betray them.

One last question here would be why R needed to send another member if they already had vault!Jacob (who, in this scenario, is the Metamorphmagus). Well, while impersonating Jacob has its advantages like having MC’s trust, there are also some limitations. For example, vault!Jacob couldn’t act “too evil”, if necessary, to not blow his cover. Besides, Rakepick’s presence had a pretty big emotional influence on MC which, in my opinion, can be seen when we decide about her fate. If you choose to trap Rakepick (which I see as a more “emotional” option), MC says: “Now she’s trapped… forever”. But if you choose to turn her in to the authorities (which I see as a more “rational” option), MC later says about the Vault:

It’s a shame we didn’t return to it, at least yet, but I still find it super interesting that in the rational option MC is aware that their solution is not permanent. And the thing is that in both cases they use the very same spell to seal the Vault! In other words, in the more emotional reaction – caused by Rakepick’s presence – MC didn’t even notice that they hadn’t fully solved the situation, and that means they wouldn’t even think that R might simply walk into the Sunken Vault and do whatever they want. And wouldn’t it make sense that it was R’s plan all along?

#hogwarts mystery #hphm #patricia rakepick #hphm jacob #hphm r #analysis post #ask #nightingaletrash

18 notes · View notes

finnskeeper · 4 years

Text

Critical Role - Campaign 1 (Thoughts Machina): Episodes 94 - 102

AKA: RETIREMENT? NEVER HEARD OF HER.

Oh God, Tary's backstory is even worse than I thought. Poor boo

PERCY YOU HAVE A THIRD BARONY TO HAND OUT...GIVE IT TO TARY

LIsten, I’m not say Percy switching scrying targets to Scanlan was a power move, but it was a fucking power move

Pike talking to Scanlan in the earring even though she knows he can’t hear? I'M NOT CRYING YOU ARE

Tary: "There are so many holes..." WHAT THE FUCK TARY

a gray render? coolcoolcoolcool

*spongebob narrator* many months later....

GROG DO NOT

oh my god

welp that happened

Pike as co-champion of the Crucible is *chef's kiss*

Liam really does take every opportunity to gush about the arts, doesn't he? Love that man

VACAY

VAX OMG

LOL I have never been more convinced that Liam O'Brien is a younger brother in my life

More Trickfoots! (Trickfeet?)

Oh...oh no...

"Well, this wrecked me." :’( I LOVE YOU PIKE

I'm honestly surprised Grog didn't just punt Ogden over the cliff

Pike: "There is a curse on this family. It's called DIABETES."

OMG KEYLETH WUT WHY??

"We're basically gods!" Yeah, okay, sure, but only if you turn into literally anything other than a FUCKING GOLDFISH

Uh...Hilde? Kinda sus

ROFL called it

Tary's dad is...oof

Tary talking about how easy he is to find as the rest of the cast tries to stifle laughter

"We are impoverished." OOP

So. Much. Lore. Marisha is writing FURIOUSLY

Pike, speaking with the dead guy: "Good day sir. It is not a good day for you." ROFL

LOL I love Vax when he's got everything going. Movement (flying, hasted, ridiculous), Action (throw Whisper), bamf to the thing with sneak attack, 2nd Action to stab again, bonus action to stab yet again, toss a Smite in there somewhere.

Ashley, channeling JFK: "We chose to kill a celestial baby not because it was easy, but because it was hard."

CRIT THAT BABY

Laura just me Liam (and me) cry with that fucking ring. Amazing.

LOL Classic Taliesin with random fucking knowledge regarding the material crossover between explosives and insecticides.

LOL Sam is having a 2nd character leave and they are not having it.

SCANLAN MOTHERFUCKIN' SHORTHALT

So I know that Percy and Vex got married in the year off, so I like seeing the little hints, like the Whitestone Castle staff referring to her as "the Lady of the House" and then her little side conversation with Vax about secrets...so good.

100 EPISODES BABY!

LOL Pike: I'll stay mad at him as long as you are." That’s some BFF solidarity right there!

Jon Heder rolling 2 Nat 20's in a row and not knowing how amazing that it is? So adorable.

AND THEN TRAVIS ROLLS 2 NAT 1'S IN A ROW I AM LOVING THIS

Welp, those two cultists are suuuuuuper dead.

Yup. Assassins gonna assassin

DeLiLaH?

Oh man, Matt's been waiting for an opportunity to use Feeblemind against the players and it did not disappoint.

Whoo! New table!

LOL Sam having to hold a conversation with himself as Tary and Scanlan is great.

I love that Tal and Marisha are just leaned over her notes intently as Percy and Keyleth are holed up in the library

Matt's talking about The Chained Oblivion. *insert connecting the dots meme here*

I absolutely love when Marisha’s notes become clutch and they start weaving all of the lore together. She’s amazing.

I love Travis' reactions every time Matt's explanation edge into horror movie territory.

2 GNOMES 1 TRENCHCOAT

Oh y'all are fighting Vecna now?? Y'all are FUCKED

"I HAVE NO PLAN!" LOL Laura is all of them right now

Matt genuinely checking in with his players "Are you okay?" as they freak out during this fight is so good. I love him so much

38 on 12d6 is not a shitty roll, Matthew! It's more than half!

POWER WORD KILL?!? WHAT THE FUCK

“Twinsies out”...oh god

SCANLAN MOTHERFUCKING SHORTHALT

Percy: "We're just gonna lay waste to shit until it stops happening!"

Okay, NOW Vax is disintegrated. I am WEEPING at Marisha's face

Hey Vex, welcome back! Your brother is gone. We're leaving

"NONE OF US WANT THIS." Taliesin with the truths

Marisha is PACING

Grog goan get gangshanked by gloomstalkers (that alliteration was unintentional but I will TAKE it)

PLATE OF THE DAWNMARTYR BITCHES

Sam saving his Counterspell gonna come in handy here in a minute

TOLD YOU

Oh...Vex....twist that fuckin' knife....

Vex: “Where’s Vax?” Matt: “Aaaand that’s where we’re gonna leave it.” Liam, crying: "I was okay til right there!" ME TOO LIAM

#critical role #campaign 1 #vox machina #vax'ildan #vex'ahlia #percy de rolo #keyleth #grog strongjaw #taryon darrington #pike trickfoot #scanlan shorthalt #thoughts machina

43 notes · View notes

king-ofthe-ruckus · 4 years

Note

I don’t know has been talked about but I love the twins watching YouTube or having their own separate chanels. Especially if they somehow get into rivalry about their channels.

Thoughts?

I fucking love AUs buddy, and modern AU for the twins are my favorite, because i feel like I can manipulate their relationship for it to be so much for fun, and since my version of Modern AU quite honestly doesn’t include my modern day reality, it’s just pure imagination, and I L O V E it, so thank you so so much for this ask.

special shout out to @panandproud123 @alexanderwesker and @orphisthedragon because i don’t know youtube at all XD

I’m not a big youtube-watcher person, i pretty much only watch @wearewatcher [ with Shane Madej, Ryan Bergara, and Steven Lim ] and there’s a lot happening on that channel, but that’s similar to how I imagine Jerome being like when he Jonathan and Jervis collab. But Jerome’s individual channel is closer along the lines of pranking people/making things explode/following tutorials terribly. He actually does quite a lot of review for people’s products, surprisingly, and people starts sending him things to be reviewed. He’ll also do Play With Me-type videos with Miah when they collab, because Jerome is incredibly good and predicting what will be useful in the future and playing the fighting sequences, but Miah is really good at the problem solving and figuring how the story will progress so they can be better prepared for following the storyline.

Jeremiah’s youtube channel is pretty all over the place actually because he’s terrible at uploading at normal times [ there’s has been times he’s uploaded at 3am on a monday and then didn’t upload until three months later, and it was five videos at once and it’s because he got lost in a project and forgot to get around to editing and posting said videos ] however his playlists are like sped versions of him making blueprints and shit of building from shows/movies/video games and seeing if their real [ fyi this idea is totally from @alexanderwesker from that time on discord XD ] a playlist of videos where he’ll go into depth about engineering and the different types of architecture [ kinda like how in Alex’s Dream of Me (Till We Meet Again) Jeremiah mentions Gotham being Gothic vs. Neo-Gothic like everywhere else, which i believe because Alex is like John Mulaney where they could say anything and i would believe them wholeheartedly [ can you guess where all understanding of engineering is from?? XD ] ]

But their channels are sort of like John and Hank Green where usually a person prefers one of the other, but overall if you like one it’s not uncommon to like the other [ i’m thinking about the Dolan twins but i’m kinda here for the idea of Jeremiah and Jerome doing a Spelling Bee and getting shocked with dog collars when wrong [ Jerome wins fyi ] ] but anyways they also do a lot of competitions for victims of abuse and those with alcohol addictions, neither is vocal about their personal experience with either, but they’ve made it clear that they are particularly strong advocates, and they make their platforms safe space for LGBTQ+ as well.

however they each are very possessive of their fans, like “well my fans made me this!” and hold up a tie with the little colorful lines and little scribbled quotes [ there’s a legend/key [ i’m not sure if there’s a specific word that applies for engineering stuff ] that came with it that says when he said the quote and which blueprint they used to make the tie ] and then Jerome will hold up his t-shirt that had a common meme that they use of him [ that’s the equivalent of “i’ve connected two dots” “you didn’t connect shit” “i’ve connected them” ] and he’s just like, “Step it up, baby bro, my fans are /way/ better than yours could ever wish to be!”

#youtube au #chandler responds #kotr #they also do special things at each 100k subscribers and give away when they reach big milestones

16 notes · View notes

the-wintershade · 4 years

Text

lost without you | rain (3)

pairing: connor (rk800) x reader summary: You get patched up and reflect on the past you've been trying to get away from, Hank starts connecting the dots between you and Connor, and Connor finally accomplishes his mission. wc: 5.9k+ genre: angst, fluff, mentions of abuse warning

Rain: series — 01 | 02 | 03

a/n: huge shoutout to @rosieatron for all of the hilarious memes you’ve made about this short series!

Hank came as fast as he could, swearing under his breath as he heard a gunshot and another one proceeding the first. His pace quickened. He held his hand pistol in his hand as he approached the open door, the breeze playing with it, moving it back and forth. He saw the lock was busted and his senses sharpened. He didn’t know what he would find on the other side of that door but he was ready to find out.

He stepped in, gun held out to find two things: You and Connor laying on the floor (together?) and the deviant laying a few feet away, struggling to get back up. Hank moved to intercept the deviant before it tried its hand at a great escape.

“Ah, ah, ah.” Hank’s gun was trained on the deviant’s face. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” He walked over pulling him off the ground and sticking some handcuffs on him.

Then he moved his attention to the two of you. “Jesus,” He noticed Connor’s gaping hole in his shoulder. “Are the two of you alright?”

Connor turned to see Lieutenant Anderson standing behind him. “I’m fine, Lieutenant, but Officer (y/l/n) will need medical attention.” Connor gently situated you up right, careful to watch your injured arm. “She’s been shot in the arm.”

Just then, the sound of sirens filled the otherwise noiseless outdoors. A few cops rushed in, ready to fire, but lowered their weapons and moved to grab the suspect. Hank made his way over to you.

“Hey. Talk to me.” Hank kneeled by you, trying to get you to look him in the eye. When you did, a small grin took your face.

“I’m okay, it just hurts a bit, nothing a few Tylenol and some good medical care can’t take care of.” You made sure that answer was enough for him and continued to take a look at Connor. “Connor, on the other hand, is probably going to need some repairs.”

His LED blinked yellow at the mention of his name. He looked at Lieutenant Anderson, then back at you. “The repair process is quick and efficient, I should be fully restored by tomorrow.” He blinked a few times and did that head cock thing again.

“Good.” Hank moved to his feet. “I’m gonna go get the EMTs, they’ll probably be able to do something for you.”

“Lieutenant Anderson, I do not follow. I cannot be repaired by emergency medical -”

“Not for you. The girl.” Hank looked from Connor to you and then back to Connor.

“Oh.”

You laughed at his confusion and simple answer, it was cute after all. Connor watched you smile and could not help but feel his eyes light up too. Whenever you were happy, he was happy too.

Software Instability ^^^^^^^^^^^ [A9 EVIA]

...

The hospital lights were more bright and blinding than you last remembered, the brilliant white colors of the room bounced back and hit your eyes with no end. It took a few blinks and eventually your eyes were able to turn down its receptors enough to look around without immediately having to shut them again.

At least you knew where you were, it made the adjustment that much easier. Before, well, five years before, there were times where he just forced you in a car and drove. The only indication that could give you a clue as to where you were was the large billboards scattered along the interstates. You weren’t allowed to ask questions, no, it would be like a death sentence, so you only stared at the window and hoped it wasn’t somewhere remote. You also hoped this transition wasn’t permanent, maybe only a couple of days.

One time, you’d been forced to stay in the middle of the Nevada desert for two months with no access to a phone. Never again.

The machine beeping behind you gave you a perfect rhythm to think to as you stared out the window and watched the rain beat on the window with such a force, you thought shards of glass would shoot out at you. It takes you back to that day, if it hadn’t rained, if it wasn’t for the rain….

“Officer!” Connor waltzed through the door breaking off your memory. You were happy to see him, no doubt about it, but your face was still downtrodden and your eyes a bit glossy. You smiled and took a minute before you turned towards the sound of his voice.

The glass window betrayed your intentions as Connor saw your face in the reflection. “Officer (y/l/n), what seems to be the problem?” He stayed where he was, watching your eyes and face shift.

“Nothing.” You looked at him, your eyes now dazzling and upturned, the opposite from previously. Connor noted the way your hands tangled themselves together as you turned towards him. His heart sank. You still did not fully trust him. “Come here.” You patted on the bed.

Software Instability ^^^^^^^^^^^^ [A9 EVIAN]

Connor obeyed, waddling closer like a child. He made his perch on the end of your bed. His hands hung by his sides, his face attentive, but his eyes were turned down. The LED on his temple was whizzing a sad, despondent, yellow.

“Connor.” You leaned forward a bit waiting for his eyes to look at you, but they didn’t, instead pointed at the linoleum. “Connor.” Your voice prodded and you moved your head in a feeble attempt to get him to look at you. Finally, you reached out to cover his smooth hand with your own. “Connor.”

His eyes were captivated by the placement of your hand upon his own. He was shocked, if you did not trust him, why would you make a gesture such as this? He compelled his eyes to blink, just to make sure his sensors were picking up his visual information correctly. His head moved slowly to the side as his eyes slide up to yours, slanting slightly, trying to figure you out. How could you possibly be so complicated? Your words said one thing, but you did another. A ball of walking contradictions, one he desperately wanted to solve.

“What happened? You were just happy a second ago.” Your eyes squinted.

“I just don’t understand. You say one thing and do another, you say you’re fine when you’re clearly not. How does that help? How does that effectively communicate your emotions?” Connor watched you for a hint of a response, small head tilts, and exaggerated blinks.

You sighed and laughed a bit, it’s true. Humans do tend to say one thing and do another. Maybe it’s just a fault in your programming. “You’re right. We, humans, are a bit faulty when it comes to communicating how we really feel. I’ll try to be better about that.” You patted his hand. “How did your repairs go?”

He looked over at his shoulder as if you could see it. “They were able to repair everything to full functionality.”

“Good.” You leaned back, your arm splint and shoulder patches restricting your full backward movement. Air came out of your nostrils as you exhaled, your slight frustration and pain going out with it. Because you were no longer close enough, your hand slipped out of the reach of Connor’s.

His gears were turning on what you had mentioned earlier. He watched the white comforter with a piqued interest, then his eyes moved back to yours.

“Officer (y/l/n), you mentioned previously you were fine when in fact you weren’t. What is the problem?” Connor persisted, he was going to get some answers.

“Just remembering some things, it’s nothing to fret over. Sometimes when I think back to my past, I see things I wasn’t able to see before. I guess that’s the power of hindsight, huh?” You closed your eyes a moment, feeling your pulse start to rise. Or the power of experiencing powerful emotions.

Connor believed that was only partially the truth, but he would not push. He would get his answers eventually, maybe you truly were not ready to reveal what you were thinking. In the meantime, Connor moved a bit closer, the bedding scrunching up a bit as he scooted towards the head of the bead where you lay.

“Officer?” Your eyes slowly pried themselves open.

“Yes?”

“I know it is not in my programming, but I wanted to say, I’m glad you are alright.”

His words warmed a part of your stomach, pumping its way through your veins and slowly turning your limbs to jelly. Your brain couldn’t form coherent words so you opted to say nothing, hoping the big grin on your face and your warming cheeks would suffice.

Software Instability ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ [A9 DEVIAN]

It did.

....

Hank eventually came to visit and uttered the words, “Wow, you look like shit.” You stifled an eye roll, hoping to convey that you were happy enough that he decided to come and visit. You, however, didn’t stifle your following remarks, “Says the man who’s like 50 and barely manages to comb his hair.”

He didn’t like that but chuckled to cover it up. One point you, zero for Lieutenant Anderson. He spoke to you a bit about how it was going with interrogating the deviant and how it was just like a normal case, Android abuse.

“Geez, the fucker had been beaten down so much, it’s no wonder he rebelled. I’d go bonkers.” Hank coughed a bit and moved to sit in the chair beside you, a cup of coffee in the paper cup he was holding.

“Anything else, any other signs of deviancy besides being tortured and beaten?” You had to be sure of everything.

“Naw. It’s a class A investigation.” Hank took a sip of his roasted low quality coffee beans. “Not like we haven’t seen something like this before.”

You nodded your head, your thoughts drifted to that night; stumbling in the rain, dizzy from exhaustion, trying to cover your tracks in the dirt beneath the tree cover. You blinked again, attempting to clear those thoughts.

“Anyway, Connor seems to miss your company.” He looked right at you, waiting for a reaction he was sure he was going to find. How much you stuck to that android raised his suspicions about the nature of the relationship between you two. Hank wasn’t convinced that an android could develop a crush on a human and vise versa, but if two people could make it happen, it was you two idiots. He swirled the coffee in his cup.

“Oh?” You turned towards him, your eyebrows raised. “I’ve only been gone a few days.” Your fingers knotted themselves together and Hank felt he was right about his hunch.

Hank upped the suspense of his response by taking a drink of disappointment, letting the brown, nearly tasteless liquid run down his throat. He felt your eyes on the side of his face as you waited for the answer. Yep, totally right. “He keeps looking over at your desk as if you’ll appear and starts throwing that damn coin around.”

He could have sworn he saw your face blush. “Well, tell him I’m getting released today and that I’ll be back tomorrow.”

“Uh huh. Well,” Hank stood. “I hope you get better soon, kid. We really could use your brain back down at the station instead of those nimrods.”

“I’ll see you soon, Lieutenant.”

“Uh huh.” He waltzed out of the room, another drink of liquid warmed his tongue and confirmed his suspicions were true. I always have to be the fucking wise guy.

...

There wasn’t anybody with when you signed yourself out of the hospital, not that you wanted there to be, right? You ambled through the oversized establishment, admiring the different colored tiles, the handprints that showed when you walked twenty-five feet, and the numbers on the rooms as you breezed past them. There was something so quiet and secluded yet spacious and open about hospitals that you couldn’t quite understand but you appreciated.

You pressed the button for the first floor as you stepped into the elevator, letting the pull to the ground relax you on your way out. Your blood froze as your eyes locked onto a jean jacket and a black beany. What? Trying to control your breathing, you swiftly sauntered out of the elevator and directly to your left, taking cover behind a wall. There’s no way, it isn’t possible. You were sure you had covered your tracks enough. Suddenly, he moved in your direction, but there was no way to go but up on an open staircase. You didn’t hesitate to move towards the first step. Your legs propelled themselves quickly but not fast enough to draw alarm. You heard footsteps right behind you. Shit. You hastily moved up the steps and jumped into the first room you saw, a bathroom thank goodness. Throwing yourself through the door, heart racing, your fingers fumbled over the lock before you heard the click as it sank into place.

Backing up, you leaned your body against the wall, taking a few breaths. Okay, calm down. You’re safe now. Your hand moved to stop over your heart to find it still racing. Closing your eyes, you controlled your breathing and brought your pulse down. You stayed in there a few minutes longer than necessary as you peeked around the corner with the man to be found no longer.

Letting the bathroom door close behind you, you nearly sprinted down the staircase and out to the parking garage across the street. Connor put your car on the second level, spot 26. You didn’t wait as you burst through another set of stairs and on up to the orange level. It was relatively close to the door you flew out of and you drew your keys briskly, tapping the unlock button and chucking the door open. Shutting it with an audible echo, you hit the lock button as if your life depended on it.

You took a few breaths and smoothed your hair, it couldn’t possibly be him, could it?

....

“He’s locked up, probably going to be disassembled.” Hank walked with you out of interrogation block and back to your desk.

“Why disassembled? Shouldn’t we give him a second chance like we give most criminals around here?” You sat down at your desk and held your chin.

“The rules are different for androids.” He shrugged and scooted closer to the computer screen.

“They shouldn’t be.” You swiveled around to pull up some files when Connor waltzed around the corner.

“What shouldn’t be, Officer?” He set some coffee down on Hank’s desk and Hank picked up, tilting his salute at him.

“That android, it shouldn’t be disassembled. We haven’t even given him a chance to fix his mistakes, immediately determining him a fall risk and shutting him down. We don’t do that with our other criminals, why just with androids?”

Connor’s LED moved to yellow as he thought about your statement, observing how passionate you seemed about the topic. He also found you shared information with him willingly, instead of aiming for your classical answer of, nothing, or fine. He felt that you trusted him more and more every time you spoke. He was making progress, getting closer to accomplishing his mission.

Hank looked at the android lost for words, wondering why he hadn’t responded yet. Then became more intrigued as time passed, if he wasn’t conflicted about the question, he would have answered by now. Hmm.

“The justice system has set standards and codes for the safety of humans and the upbringing of an-”

“I know, Connor. I just don’t think it’s fair.” You ran your hands through your hair and turned your attention back to the computer screen.

Connor’s LED moved to red and his head cocked as if he was going to add something to the conversation, his lips slightly parted, but he opted not to. He felt as if the conversation died the moment the two of you broke eye contact, that this mysterious energy he could sense through your gaze kept the two of you in this sphere where you could connect and talk but it was gone. He felt a little empty to be honest, like a book without an ending.

Hank took in the android’s behavior and squinted at him looking at you. “Connor.”

Connor turned his attention to Lieutenant Anderson. “Yes, Lieutenant.”

“Are you alright?”

His LED moved down to yellow. “Yes,” then blue. “I’m okay.”

“Whatever you say, Connor.”

Connor stood stunned into silence. What is going on with the humans?

...

Connor sat on the couch with Lieutenant Anderson, patiently waiting for you to arrive at the house of the Lieutenant. The Lieutenant sat watching the television with replays of what he learned to be a gaming show called “Family Feud.” He was lost at the prospect of there being a feud, more like just a temporary opposition, like opponents have in a game. These families clearly do not know each other and have not met before being on this show so it is not possible for there to be a feud.

“Neck! Neck, Alyssa, neck! Goddamnit! Why would she say brain?” Lieutenant Anderson threw up his arms in exasperation.

“Lieutenant, how can there be a feud? These families have no qualms with each other.” Connor turned his head sideways and moved his eyes to the side as he thought and then back at the Lieutenant.

“I don’t know and to be completely honest, I do not care. Now, shut up, I want to hear this.” Lieutenant waved at him. Connor did not understand this gesture either, but he did understand shut up, so he moved from the couch to the kitchen table where Sumo sat, curled into a little ball of warmth.

“Hello, Sumo.” Connor sat on the floor and reached his arm out to pet him. Sumo didn’t purr like a cat did, but his tail started wagging and that was enough indication that Sumo appreciated what he was doing. A smile formed on Connor’s face, happy that he could bring some comfort to the dog in front of him.

“Connor, get back in here!” Lieutenant Anderson’s voice rang from the sofa even though Connor was only a few steps behind him.

“Coming, Lieutenant.” He gave Sumo one last pat on the head before moving to rejoin the Lieutenant.

“And for God sakes, call me Hank. The whole Lieutenant thing gets on my nerves.”

“Sure thing,” Connor sat back on the couch. “Hank.” He smiled at the Lieutenant.

Hank watched Connor, “What’s going on with you and Officer (y/l/n)?” Connor’s LED flashed yellow. Ha!

“I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about, Hank.” Connor’s eyebrows scrunched up and his eyes shifted again.

“I’ve seen the way the light on your forehead changes whenever someone mentions her and I’ve seen the way you look at her. Is there something going on between you two?”

Connor was not positive what he meant by something going on, but he came to the conclusion - by Hank’s previous descriptions - that he was referring to something romantically inclined.

“Hank, are you implying that me and Officer (y/l/n) are romantically interested in each other?”

Hank coughed a bit and looked away. “In a very indirect way, yes.”

“Oh.” Connor moved his head towards the television screen and played back the time he spent with you. If he pinpointed the way he felt in those moments, then maybe it was so. Maybe he did take an interest with you in that way. He did want to be around you whenever he could, if you went into a dangerous situation alone, he wanted to be there, to protect you, and when you did not open up to him, it affected him greatly. He wanted you to trust him and the fact that you did not still nagged him, eating at the back of his mind.

Software Instability ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ [A9 DEVIANT]

“Well? Do you? Connor, it is okay if you do, she’s fantastic.”

“Hank, I’m not sure what I’m feeling. I’m not supposed to be able to feel anything.” Connor's eyes widened as he realized what was happening.

“It’s okay, son.” Hank clapped Connor on the back of the shoulder. “We’ve all been through it at some point in our lives.”

Connor was still searching for some logical answer to the emotions running through his head but he found none. Deviants felt the same things, their actions becoming irrational as a result of emulating emotions. His actions could not be irrational, could they be?

Sumo started barking, moving to the door and wagging his tail fondly. “What is it, Sumo?” Hank called moving from the couch. There was a knock at the door and Connor’s thirium pump speed up noticeably. Connor put a hand over where his mechanical heart lay, feeling it beat irregularly fast.

“(y/n), come in.” Hank opened the door wider to give you more room to walk in. Sumo launched himself at your legs and you bent down to rub him on the head. “Hey there, little man.” Sumo stuck his tongue out and rubbed his head against your bent knee.

Connor watched this whole exchange staring at your face, LED yellow, and a small grin lifting up the corner of his mouth.

Software Instability ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ [rA9 DEVIANT]

[Path Unlocked]

“Hello, Officer.”

You looked up from Sumo, to see him smiling. You weren’t sure why, maybe something Hank said earlier, but you created a smirk that mirrored his own. “Hi, Connor.”

....

Hank wanted to get the whole gang together to celebrate a job well done and to just have a night where the three of you could relax and talk together. After Connor spent a couple hours watching you and Hank down some beverages and speak out answers to that gaming programming, his mind drifted to Larkyn Cavallion and the way you evaded some of the questions he had asked that night he escorted you to your apartment. He did not want to pry but if he was going to accomplish his mission, he needed answers and that is what he was going to get.

“Officer (y/l/n), may I ask you a question?” He followed you to the kitchen on the way to refill the chip bowl.

“Sure.” You poured the chips into the bowl, the plastic of the bag crinkling as you shook it.

“Why were you giving me curt answers the last time I came to your apartment?”

You looked at him and narrowed your eyes, what was he getting at? “Because they didn’t need that long of a response.”

“What about ‘Larkyn Cavallion’?”

At this name you froze, eyes wide, stance stoic. Your eyes widened further but you didn’t answer him, only moved away from his position to the couch to put the bowl down.

“Officer, what’s wrong?”

“Connor, I don’t want to talk about this right now.”

“When do you want to? Something is bothering you and I want to help.”

“What if you can’t?!” Even Hank looked up at the both of you. Your gaze slowly moved towards him and his LED jumped to yellow as he saw the terror in your eyes. “What if you can’t help me, huh, Connor?”

“I didn’t mean to upset you -”

“No.” You tried to control your breathing. “This is not your fault.” You sighed. “I’ve been going through this thing for a long time and I -” You took a breath and felt the silence in the room weighing heavily on you like a pressure weighing on your shoulders.

You turned to Hank, “Thank you for the hospitality, Hank, but I think I should go.” You set the chip bowl down and grabbed your coat off the rack. You didn’t utter a word to Connor as you hustled your way out the door, patting Sumo on the head before you swung the door open. The door closed firmly behind you and Connor could not help but feel as if this was all his fault.

“What the hell was that about?” Hank turned to Connor who was still staring at the door.

“I don’t know. I was just asking a question.” Connor trailed off, trying to process what went wrong.

“Well, it pissed her off.” Hank watched Connor stuck in a daze. “What are you standing there for? Go after her.” He waved at the door.

“I don’t know what to do, Hank.” He looked at him with the eyes of a puppy dog.

“Connor, just talk to her. Ask the things she’s uncomfortable about, ask the things you’ve been itching to know about her. If you’re ever going to make a breakthrough, it’s now.”

Connor still stood there.

“Move your ass, Connor.” Hank gave him a push, it was enough to make him stumble forward.

That was all Connor needed as he took off into the pouring rain.

...

Your doorbell rang, but you sat on your sofa, watching the rain bead its way down the glass. To be frank, you didn’t feel like conversing right now, Connor’s questions opened up enough anxiety within you. Maybe it was time to leave again, maybe it was time for a fresh start, a clean slate. You rarely stayed in one place for longer than six months, it was what you had promised yourself in order to survive, in order to get a chance to live by your rules.

The buzzer sounded again.

The irritation in your veins started to boil over, why won’t they just go away? You didn’t answer the door for strangers, another part of moving frequently.

“Officer (y/l/n), I came to talk with you. I apologize for my behavior earlier, can we discuss it?”

Now you were really irritated. The last person you wanted to see right now was standing right outside your door. It wasn’t really the questions that upset you, it was how close he was to connecting the dots that teed you off. You’d worked so hard to maintain a low profile and Connor almost shot it to pieces with a few simple inquiries.

You sat for a second longer before pushing yourself off of the couch and looking through the peephole to make sure it was Connor. No matter how much you told yourself you wanted to run away, it was time to stop running, it was time to face the music, and that started with telling Connor the truth.

You took a deep breath and opened the door. His warm chocolate eyes greeted you, hair a bit disheveled from the rain, with a concerned look in his eyes, LED a buzzing yellow.

“Come in.” You opened the door wider.

Connor stepped in, immediately turning to you, his mouth moving a thousand miles a minute. “Officer (y/l/n), I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you upset, I took notice that you’ve been acting a bit strange. You’ve been on edge and evasive whenever I asked about what happened in the house when we were trying to catch the deviant, the name under your lease - which I discovered on accident -, and the way you furnish and decorate your living space. I want you to trust me. I want -”

You held up a hand to stop him from continuing. “It’s (y/n).”

He looked at you confused and jerked his head forward a little.

“My name. It’s (y/n). You don’t have to call me Officer (y/l/n) all the time, it seems a bit formal.”

Oh.

“(y/n),” He tested the name out. It was a beautiful name, but he was getting distracted and that was not the purpose of his visit.

“Do you want to sit?” You walked into the living room and he followed closely, eager to get the heart of what he came to talk about.

“(y/n), I -”

“I had an abusive boyfriend, well almost abusive, but very controlling.” You broke out, better to get to what he wanted to know - more like what he was going to figure out. “The alias, Larkyn Cavallion, was one I took on so that way he wouldn’t find me, it’s pretty far from my actual name.”

Connor’s LED turned a furious red as images played through his head of a previous boyfriend even thinking of doing even close to harmful things to you. His skin was on fire and he felt flames in his eyes. No one would ever be able to do that to you as long as he were around, he would assure that.

“I’ve been on the run for about five years, trying to escape him, and evade the chance that he might find me again.” You sat with your hands folded. Your voice was emotionless, but you felt a tidal wave of emotion flowing within you.

It felt as if you were free falling, all these memories you’ve tried to suppress finally breaking away from you and this invisible pressure lifting, but you were still falling. You were falling with no guarantee that something would catch you when the ground came into view, nor any certainty that this wouldn’t end in flame and ash. It was a leap of faith in the literal sense and you had to put your trust in Connor, an android, and believe that he wouldn’t spread this information like wildfire, but something inside you told you he wouldn’t.

You spared him a glance and couldn’t take the fire you saw in his orbs, so you looked beyond him. “The day I got away from him, I remember feeling something inside me break, like there was this fog that I was so obscured by that I couldn’t even see what was happening to me, like what was really happening. It felt as if it cleared and suddenly my brain started replaying all our conversations and moments, seeing them in a new light. I don’t know what brought on that wake-up call, but it hit and I knew it didn’t matter how or by what means I used to get out, I just needed to go.” Your hands started shaking and you took a deep breath to steady your voice so it wouldn’t shake.

“I stopped thinking about our entire relationship, I stopped wondering where I went wrong and how I didn’t see it earlier, I stopped pondering why I had let it go this far, I shut it all down. I had to. I grabbed all the cash I had, a couple pairs of clothes, a hat, and my coat and took off.

“He would be home at 3:45, it was 3:35 when I left. I had ten minutes to get as far away from that house as I could. So I ran, I ran through the pouring rain, ran through the tears, ran from that abusive, toxic person, and ran to a new life.

“I cut through the woods, but I forgot he would definitely see my footprints and a little while later I heard his truck. I went thirty minutes out of my way, creating a false trail with my shoes so that I could work my way onto a road and start stepping on leaves so that he couldn’t see the outline of my boots in the dirt. When I turned directions and looked behind me, the rain had been coming down so hard, my footprints were barely visible. I knew I had a chance, so I took off for the bus station.

“I hopped the first one I saw, bought a ticket to go literally anywhere, and as the bus pulled out of the station, I knew, I knew , that if there had not been a torrential downpour that day, he would have easily found me and dragged me back.

“The rain,” you paused, smiling at how significant something most people think is so little is for you. “The rain saved my life. The rain saved me from more years of emotional torture and abuse. The rain gave me a chance to live again.” You stopped, looking at Connor watching you with something soft in his gaze. He got up from the armchair and sat right next to you, waiting for you to continue.

“Since then, I’ve never lived in a place more than six months, I put a false name of the lease, I get a new license plate everytime my birthday comes around, I never make friends because I don’t want to leave any indication that I was around. I wanted to disappear. I wanted to become invisible.” Your eyes turned down towards your hands again, but Connor put his on top of yours, giving it a slight comforting, squeeze, just to let you know that he cared.

“Afterwards, I went through so many emotions, I couldn’t even tell you all of them, I just remember being hyper-aware of everything, all of my surroundings, all the time. I felt like I had to out of fear of him coming back. So now, I’m here, sitting with you, talking about this, for the first time in five years.” You finally looked at him again and saw his LED soften to blue.

“I’m not equipped with comforting people, but I do know that I’m very glad you were able to leave him and that you were able to live life as you should be able to. I understand why you acted the way that you did and I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable. I was attempting to try to help, but perhaps it wasn’t the right way of approaching it. I just wanted you to be able to talk to me and feel like you can rely on me.” Connor watched a smile break out on your face.

“Well, you got your wish.” You stared at him just as intently as he was staring at you. Connor felt his heart rate speed up again and his cheeks start to flush a bright blue, he had an urge to lean in and kiss you, but he shoved it down. He decided you didn’t need that right now, especially with all you’ve experienced, right now, you could probably use a good meal.

“(y/n)? Would you like me to make you something?” Connor watched your eyes light up, correct answer.

“That would be wonderful, Connor.” Connor got up to proceed to the kitchen, but you tugged on his sleeve a bit. “Wait.” You pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. “Thank you, thank you for listening to me, Connor.” You wrapped your arms around him and felt him return the embrace. He was not good with emotions but he was getting better. Watching all that television helped him understand more about these displays of affection. He felt comforted and good having you in his arms, he felt like he was protecting you.

“I’ll be here anytime you need me.” He hummed in response, holding you a little tighter.

[Mission Accomplished]

[Next Task: Take (y/n) on a date]

Connor would definitely fulfill that goal, you could count on that.

....

a/n: I am not in anyway knowledgeable on the topic of abuse, this is just for creative purposes only. If you are struggling with abuse or in an emotionally toxic relationship, please call 1−800−799−7233 or go to https://www.thehotline.org/ if you have an electronic device that is not monitored. Please, please get help. You are not alone, you are never alone, please, please remember that. I love you guys and want to see you physically, emotionally, and psychologically healthy.

#connor x reader #connor fic #rk800 x reader #connor (rk800) x reader #rk800 fic #rain #rain series #rain: rk800 #connor is just a sweetheart #and he just means so well to the reader #still trying to figure it all out too #just a super cute series that can explore abuse but not in a crazy triggering way

54 notes · View notes

a-spectacle-in-the-morning · 5 years

Text

“Woeful Wins and Whiskey” -- Rafael Barba

Notes: I’m trying to write Rafael stuff now and I am VERY nervous about it. *retreats to writing Sonny immediately*

There’s some mentions of sexual violence in this one folks. Just the kind of stuff that’s par for the course with SVU. And drinking. You have been forewarned.

If anyone ever needed to be reaffirmed in their belief that love at first sight didn’t exist, all they had to do was ask you about the day you met Rafael. Not that you immediately hated him or anything, you just sure as hell didn’t like him.

When you first transferred to the SVU you were surprised by how welcoming the staff was. To clarify they were welcoming, but not in any way exceedingly joyous to have you there.

Fin had offered you a curt nod as you sat at your desk before turning back to his desktop screen. Amanda gifted you a slight smile. Liv shook your hand as she nearly jogged past you to get to her office. Sonny had gotten up and helped you unpack your little box of knick-knacks. He even started an idle conversation with you while you finished up, which ended with him promising to bring you a plate full of his Ma’s zeppole by the end of the week. Then Liv re-emerged from her office, cell phone still in hand, to let everyone know that there was a new case.

“Hope you’re ready new kid,” Fin teased.

Just like that you were off. No rookie desk duty; straight out to the world of sex crimes. And very quickly you weren’t so sure you truly were ready.

Your first case was a (impossibly, in your opinion) young girl claiming to have been molested by a teacher. She wouldn’t expose the man, but the physical evidence was enough to land her in the hospital. It was violent. You were used to violence, but nothing that made you as sick as listening to that girl recount what happened to her.

There were a horrifying number of suspects and without the girl’s testimony you were left digging through whatever evidence there was. After an ungodly number of hours you felt like you had connected some dots and your gut was telling you the perp was her biology teacher. You asked Sonny what you could possibly do next with mostly just a gut feeling and he told you to ask the ADA if what you had was enough.

“It’s not,” Barba huffed, looking at you over the file you’d brought him.

“I know you need more to prosecute, but I also know this guy is guilty. The kid’s not gonna testify against him. What more can I get you?” you asked, genuinely curious.

“Some actual evidence?” he had chided, raising an eyebrow at you.

You let a puff of laughter escape. The balls on this guy, you thought. Then you looked up and saw the framed degree from Harvard. You squinted back at his three piece suit and you knew he was going to be a pain in the ass. Better to placate this kind of douche than to worsen his mood.

“Fair enough,” you shrugged. “Can I please at least get a warrant to search his office?”

He let the folder flop down on his desk. “Do you have a reason for me to give you one?”

Oh my God.

Then he added, “That isn’t your fresh out of the academy, twenty-something year old instinct.”

I’m going to kill this guy.

But you just swallowed your pride, set your shoulders, and said, “I’ll get you one.” And before he could get in one last quip you were out of his well decorated office.

You did get him one. By the next afternoon, in fact. As the youngest member of the team Liv had allowed you, hesitantly, to talk to the victim alone. She thought it might help her open up if she was around someone even remotely closer to her own age. And it had. She let slip during the interview that the man who attacked her was tall, angry, and (very helpfully) a science teacher. The way you walked back into Barba’s office… You looked like you could’ve just beaten him in some long running bet by the smugness emanating off of you. But the little feud had only started yesterday. The two of you were just incredibly spite filled human beings.

Barba begrudgingly, though of course very and truly gladly, gave you the warrant you had asked for. You and Amanda had ransacked the suspect’s office and found all the physical evidence Barba could ever desire. Unfortunately, that evidence was a mountain of trophies taken from young girls over many years. The prosecution involved exposing a lot of trauma. It was an easy win, but a painful and exhausting one as well.

Welcome to the team.

You celebrated by going out for a somber drink at Forlini’s. It was a busy Saturday. When you finally got the bartender’s attention you ordered two fingers of 12 year old Macallan because you were feeling down, but not drain-your-bank-account down. Neat, of course.

Then you heard someone to your left say, “Make that two of those.”

You turned to face Barba, and despite his similarly worn look, you said, “I can’t tonight.” And then, very boldly, “I’m too exhausted to keep up with your pretension.”

He laughed (a bit bitterly) and responded, “No need. I’m all out.”

Then your drinks arrived. You both grabbed a glass and clinked them in commiseration before taking a sip. You could feel him watching how you swallowed. Every man you had ever drank whiskey in front of had done that. They want to see if you choke.

You didn’t. It was a damn smooth drink despite the warm, burning sensation it left in your throat.

“Where’d you get your taste for whiskey?” Barba questioned, unable to hide that he was a little impressed.

“Not from my father, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“I wasn’t.”

You stopped mid sip, then smiled as you finished your drink. “At this point I’m kind of numb to the taste of strong alcohol. I just like the way whiskey feels when it settles.” You laid a hand over your stomach and looked back at Rafael to gauge his reaction. He had the faintest of grins on his lips and instead of a direct response he finished his drink as well. Then he ordered two more.

“I’ve been told I come off as a complete asshole most of the time,” he said as you waited for the next round. “I’m sorry if that was your first impression of me.”

You shrugged in a ‘that’s alright’ kind of a gesture. “I get the feeling that people come to you asking you to perform miracles pretty often,” you offered.

He let out that bitter laugh again and with a sigh said, “Yes they do. Every day.”

You picked up your refilled glass and took another sip. “So I guess I didn’t make a great first impression either: barging in and asking for a prosecution with no evidence.”

“At least you asked me what else you could do to help. And you said please.”

Okay so you weren’t feeling bad for him, per say, but you were starting to see why he was wound so tight all the time.

You raised your glass next to his and said, “Here’s to more evidence in the future. Preferably with fewer strings attached.”

“Salud.”

After one more round and some casual conversation your exhaustion caught up to you and you picked up the bill, much to Barba’s irritation. When he continued to berate you for paying on the way to the street you turned to him and said, “Seriously, Barba, don’t worry about it.” A cab pulled up and you were half way in the backseat when you added, “You’ll get the next one.”

The thought of another night out with you had him beaming the whole way home.

Insert that “I’ve connected the two dots, you didn’t connect shit, I’ve connected them” meme. That’s what I imagine any given day is like being the ADA for those fool detectives in SVU. Sorry for making you one of them.

This is my first time writing Rafael. I love him to bits, but he’s hard to capture. At least for me he is. Hopefully I did alright!

#rafael barba x reader #rafael barba x you #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba fanfiction #rafael barba fanfic #law and order: special victims unit #law and order: svu #law and order: svu imagine #law and order: special victims unit imagine #fanfiction #fanfic #rafael barba

149 notes · View notes