#I could not find this pip. the run had been going on for months. I just wanted to finish it

[ironraven]

psychopomp goes for a quick swim

[curseddollfaye]

“baby can you call me back?…it’s so lonely in my mansion”

drug dealer bf! gojo x reader

✩ intro for our lovely couple , a look into the beginning of their relationship to start off! 😋 enjoy! ✩

ᥫ᭡ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! ty! please let me know what you think! ^.^ requests are currently CLOSED ᥫ᭡

masterlist

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:· ੈ✩‧·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:· *ੈ✩‧₊˚

“Mmmm I think I want…the pink one” Your eyes basically sparkled as you look at the selection of diamond earrings in front of you. Your sunglasses pushed up and out of your face. A array of bags on one arm, and a drink on the other. Iced matcha latte with caramel cold foam. Fresh French tips tapped against your cup as you hummed a happy tune to yourself.

“Of course ma’am, would you like me to take anything else out of the show case?” The jewelry sales associate offered you a wide customer service smile. Who wouldn’t with the amount of money you were charging to the black plastic card tucked away on your heart juicy couture bag. The commission the man was about to make was nearly enough to make him the happiest person in the damn store probably.

“I’ll let you know if anything else catches my eye! Thank you!”

“Don’t you think you’re going a little overboard?” Your friend Utahime pipped up beside you. She had her own set of shopping bags. But not nearly as many as you. She had watched you run that debit card the entire day and she was shocked at how it kept approving.

Well. She had an idea.

Your new boyfriend Satoru Gojo

Utahime watched you hum and tilt your head as you looked at her with a glossy pout on your lips.

“Whaddya mean Ime?”

She laughed at your response and shook her head. “I mean won’t Satoru mind with how much money you’re spending?” Utahime was never not worried about you. Haven been your bestfriend since you were in Kindergarten she knew you like the back of your hand. You weren’t the type to date any guy. So it shocked her when 2 months ago you told her you had a boyfriend. Sheepishly admitting that you had really been dating him for 3 months prior to her finding out. Telling her that she wanted to make sure he was a solid guy before introducing him to your friends. Even though Utahime was familiar with the white haired man. They both grew up in the same neighborhood, Saturo was always the kid in their street that every knew. Every wanted to be friend with Satoru Gojo. Everyone’s PARENTS wanted to make friends with his parents. They came from money, not that Satoru didn’t work for his. It’s just what comes with generational wealth.

“Satoru mind that I’m spending his money?” You snorted back a laugh and took a sip of your cold beverage. “He’s the one that gave it to me babe. And I quote ‘Whatever you want baby’ “ You grin as the associate finally came back out with your earrings wrapped and tucked in a velvet black box. He slipped it in a bag quickly and handed it to you. Your receipt tucked neatly away in its contents.

“The one day I don’t go to a dumb party that Choso throws and you’re telling me he invites his stupidly handsome rich friends?” Utahime grumbles. “I have a bone to pick with that blonde hair runway model”

“You mean your boyfriend Choso?” You tease as the two of you make your way out of the store. Finally enough having done enough shopping for the day. You truly wanted to run back to your apartment and wait for Satoru finish whatever it is he was doing so you could finally snuggle him.

And fuck him too of course.

“He’s not my boyfriend!” Utahime’s cheeks got red. By the looks of the way she’s fighting that smile off you concur and give her a wide smile telling her everything she needs to know. She’s not hiding her crush on you two’s mutual friend that good.

hmm I wonder what time saturo is going to be back…

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:· ੈ✩‧·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:· *ੈ✩‧₊˚

Going back to your apartment went smoothly. You gladly put all your new stuff away in your very large closet (thanks to Saturo who insisted moving you into a better place. He said it suits your lifestyle more now. You nearly sunk to your knees at his confession)

You managed to eat something really quickly, shower, shave, and do your skincare with enough time to spare before-

“I’m back gorgeous!” A happy man announced as he stepped foot through your door. Keys dangling on one hand using his own spare to get inside.

You were in the middle of applying your coconut bliss body butter on your arms when you hear him. An excited smile appears on your face. You haven’t seen him since he went back home earlier in the morning and it wasn’t fair! You deserved his time more than anyone :( , it’s obvious he spoils you way too much but to be fair it’s his fault!

“Baby!” You run to him. Looking absolutely delectable in a long sleeve black shirt and some sweats you swore he’d stolen back from you. His clothes were always way too big on you; he was a tall man, not that you wet complaining. His sunglasses were still on his perfect face but the grin that graced his features was enough for you to jump into his arms. You were wearing some tight booty shirts he had bought you, stating that you looked too good in them. Resulting in the only pair you previously owned to be torn.

At least he replaces them tenfold :D

You inhale his scent. You missed him so much. Your heart feels warm. Because truthfully you loved this man. He treated you so sweetly without expecting anything. His love for you was apparent in the past few months. Indescribable feeling of cloud nine and you never wanted to get out of it. His actions, his words, and overall the way he heard you, understood you, and cared for you. Satoru Gojo was a man of his word, keeping you safe and loved was his number one priority.

In the past dealing with assholes was what you were used to, not by choice of course. But after a while you started to despise the idea of finding that someone until he came along.

“You okay pretty girl?” You open your eyes, you didn’t even realize you had closed him. His large hands had came down to hold you up by your ass. Fingers pressed snuggly into the soft skin. Your tits pressed against his chest. Your arms around his neck already scratching that spot in his scalp that always makes him melt.

“Better now that you’re here” You lift your head up from his chest slightly amd purse your lips to ask for a kiss. Satoru gladly obliges and leans down shaking his head slightly and chuckling to himself. His girl must’ve missed him so much. However will he make it up to you?

“Well thankfully your hot sexy boyfriend is here to keep you all warm again hmm? Fuck you smell so good, you know I love it when you wear that coconut shit” Satoru leans down and inhales deeply from your neck. He feels his boxers start to tighten up a little bit. That combine with the way your breasts pressed up against him. He hasn’t touched you all day!

“Take us to the couch-ahh!” You scream as your boyfriend manages to toss you up over his shoulder effortlessly. Your ass right next to his face, he wastes no time giving your left ass cheek a harsh slap before his palm rubs to smooth the red forming skin over. Instinctively you feel your legs squeeze together. Bastard.

“Nah I think we’re going to bed baby girl”

“Damn no hi, hello, how are you?” You snort as he carries you down the hall and pushes your bedroom door open.

“You think m’not gonna converse with you baby? Don’t hurt my feelings you know me better than that” He sets you down on the bed gently and looks down to stare at you.

Your pretty lips swollen from the way he always eagerly sucks your bottom lip when he kisses you.

Those fuck me eyes yours always had his head dizzy.

You slowly rose to your knees as he stood at the edge of the bed. Your hands trailed up under his shirt as you (almost) managed to reach his height. Satoru started down at you, admiring all your prettiness, of course. His hands leaned down to your ass again and he softly started to grope you.

“Take this shirt off, it’s in the way” You mumbled in annoyance.

He snickered at you teasingly.

“Patient baby, I wanna have a conversation with my favorite girl remember?”

“Boo, you whore”

“Your whore though remember?” Satoru removes his hands from you and painfully backs away from your touch. Leaning down really quickly to press a kiss to your forehead. Basically having to force himself away from your touch before he ends up pounding you to sleep in the bed.

Patience HE has to remind himself.

“How was your day today?” You watched him take off his shirt, leaving him shirtless. He then proceeded to take stuff out of his pockets, his pack of cigarettes, his keys, his familiar bright blue flame lighter you had gotten for him as a souvenir from the beach. He swears it’s the best lighter he own and states it’s lasted him so long. The last item he pulls out is a bag containing a pre rolled blunt. You’ve smoked with him once or twice but it really wasn’t your thing, you left that all for him. Despite having the best discount on some of you ever needed any (it was free, Satoru would never charge his pretty girlfriend a dollar for some shit he could cover, a man dedicated to making sure you’re straight).

You sit back still on your knees. Your hands behind you as you watch Satoru walk over to your window and crack it open. His hand already flicking the lighter to spark up his blunt. Bringing the end of it to his lips. He winks at you as he inhales and exhales. Repeating it 3 times before he finally fills his lungs with that familiar sting. Blowing it out and relaxing from how long of a day he’s had. He works hard for his shit, he deserves it.

“It was good, got my nails done, went shopping with Utahime”

Satoru scoffs and his hazy eyes look at you as he laughs.

“Be nice! You act as if she’s your mortal enemy!”

“She’s hated me since like 4th grade. I’m telling you babe I think she needs to get laid immediately before she prunes up or something”

“By who? Choso?”

“Might as well be, I’ve seen him stalking her Instagram” Satoru loves gossiping with you as well, which made your relationship that much more entertaining. Sometimes he’d listen to you talk about drama that’s going on, and he’d always join in with you. Always taking your side / perspective as well. Because Satoru agreed with you without second thought.

A personified munch , in two ways.

You store the new information tucked away in the back of your head to tell Utahime, already picturing the wide smile she’s going to try to hide whenever you tell her Choso was looking through her insta.

Satoru puts his half smoked blunt out on a tray near the window that you had just for him. His muscles relaxing and the stress of the day finally disappearing from his body.

“Enough about Utahime, I’m tryna spend some quality time with my favorite girl. Gonna show me all the pretty thongs you bought later yeah? Lemme see those pretty tits first baby…”

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:· ੈ✩‧·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:· *ੈ✩‧₊˚

Your lights were turned off, the window was cracked open letting in the cool cold air in as it makes its way into your warm bedroom. The only light really was the moon shine.

Your headboard obnoxiously hit against your wall, and your bed noisily creaked from the speed in which Satoru was snapping his hips into you.

You positioned on your side. A leg thrown on top of Saturo’s. Your neck and chest littered with purple marks. Your hair was a little messy, and your thin lace purple panties pulled to the side. Revealing your swollen pussy. Your boyfriend’s cock stretching you out nice and wide. Breathless whines leave your swollen lips. The man’s hands held both of your tits in his long slender fingers. The fat of your boobs slip in between his fingers from his harsh grip. Occasionally rolling your nipples in between his fingers. Pulling and tugging making them even more sensitive. As if he wasn’t just sucking them desperately 30 minutes prior as he fucked you with his fingers. The sound of your squelching pussy while he plays with your clit and curls his fingers feel inside of you just like you need. The vision is always engraved in his head every single time.

“Ahh! Fuck, ‘toru!” You look down to where you’re both connected. Your man grunts in response and lets out a hiss as he reaches your g spot just right with his swollen mushroom tip. The angry red tip bullying your plush velvety walls. He wore no condom, which you both knew that was not a good idea , neither of you were ready for a child so it was a little reckless. But cumming inside of you was his favorite part. Tied with cumming on your face or inside your mouth.

Cumming on your ass

He shivers at the thought and reaches down to grip your hips. A shudder escapes down his spine.

“Doing s’good for me baby fuck…” You feel his lips near your ear. His breath fanning down your neck. “It’s all for me? Hmm? Tell me, say it you fucking slut” Satoru demands. His right hand leaves your hip and grips your jaw to turn your head to look at him. Intense blue eyes stare back at yours. You’re struggling to keep your eyes open as your head bobs furiously while you try to keep it still. His pace is unforgiving. He needed release so much, but most of all he needed you to come for the third time.

He was a selfless lover, you always came at least twice before he even came once! Mouth, fingers, and then his cock. That the goal everytime before he pounds you into the mattress.

“It’s all for you!” You wail and squeeze your eyes shit. Pursed lips feigning for a kiss, you feel his tongue trace over your plump lips before he sucks your bottom lip into his mouth.

“Should spank that ass raw for tryna run from me earlier while I eat my pussy, should’ve played with that swollen little clit till your legs went numb” You feel your stomach tighten at his words. A band inside you is about to snap and you know he’s not that far behind.

The intensity of it all is almost too much, but just right. That perfect balance that only Satoru Gojo can provide. He was your own personal drug, and as cliche as it sounded his words flowed into your veins and released serotonin that had you almost too fucked out to speak. You respond the only way you know how;

“Should’ve fucked my tits, would’ve squeezed them around your big cock and stuck my tongue out for you-“ You gasp and toss your head back on his shoulder. Your eyes rolling back. “Ahh! S-Satoru! Please , please, please” You inhale deeply , tears prickle your eyes from pleasure. A pressure wraps around tour throat as Satoru uses you as leverage to fuck himself harder and faster into your tight cunt.

If that was even possible.

“So fucking naughty- oh fuck..s-so perfect for me. Could fuck you everyday baby…s’what you deserve for being so perfect f’me.”Saturo is pussy drunk as he keeps talking to you through the orgasm that’s sneakily approaching.

“Yes please! Wan’ you inside me all the time- ahhhhh!”

You scream and arch your back. Reaching down to your pussy and rubbing your clit , causing your legs to spasm and you swear all you see is white. Your toes are curled and you know after this you’re gonna be an overstimulated mess. You’d be surprised if you even make it past Satoru carrying you to the tub for some after care before you passed away from tiredness.

“Gonna come inside you baby, gonna claim Whats mine” He spits at you roughly. His balls tighten and before he knows if he’s shooting his hot cum deep inside you. Riding you both through your orgasm and continuing to spill his load and fuck it back inside you. Your soft pussy spurting some of it back out, not being able to keep all of it inside you.

“Fuck I love you so much” Satoru says after a few moments of silence.

“Gonna make you my wife one day I swear” He grins and lets out a breathless chuckle. His famous grin spreading across his lips. His lips find your forehead. He’s still inside of you, but it’s more comforting this way before he has to pull out and clean you up.

“6 months and you got me so fucking whipped for you , you know that? Did you do some of that witchy woo woo stuff and make me in love with you or something? That’s what it feels like when I’m around you” Satoru says honestly. Rubbing soft circles on your back. Your breath evening out.

“Whenever I’m around you I’m at complete peace…I don’t know if I ever knew what that feeling was before you….Eh, I’m being sappy because I’m tired I think” He laughs and shakes his head.

“You good baby? I’ll run a bath for you Im a few minutes” Yawning and scratching his head Satoru kisses your cheek. Slowly pulling out of you. Watching his spent leak out of you.

“Baby?”

Silence.

Then soft snores erupted into the silence. A content smile on your boyfriend’s lips.

You had heard none of what he said but it didn’t make it any less true. He meant every word, and he’d say it a million times over and over again without getting tired.

Because truthfully , you had his heart in your palm. Ball was in your court no matter what. He knew he was never leaving and he only hoped you felt the same. Maybe you would grow old with him just like he saw whenever he was sleeping.

6 months and you’re driving Satoru insane with how much he needs you already.

“I’ll just tell you tomorrow…” Reaching over to snatch his phone he watches it light up, his eyes meeting the bright light as his brightness was turnt all the way up. His lockstreen a picture of you wearing a light pink juicy couture track suit. A clip in your hair, posing in front of the Hello Kitty food truck that came to the city. He had taken you and brighten you everything you even stared at for longer than a second.

(Bought one of everything from the whole truck for you is what I’m tryna say)

He quickly sets at alarm for 30 minutes from the current time 1:30 am , so he could clean both of you guys up and maybe order some late night food.

Satoru pulls the covers over both of you and hold you from behind. His arm tucking around your entire body.

Satoru Gojo hopes he can fall asleep this way for the rest of his life, truly.

For now he looks into the present and what’s in store for the two of you.

[discount-shades]

Contract Spouse Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Living the Lie 

A/N: to quote M*A*S*H “War isn’t Hell. War is war, and Hell is Hell. And of the two, war is a lot worse.”

Pairing: Jake Seresin/Reader (nicknamed Pip)

Warning:  Angst, war, PTSD, civilian deaths, child death, nightmares

Length: 2100 ish

Summary: Jake and Pip settle into living together.

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Two weeks after you had settled into Jake's house in San Diego you were on the phone with Sami. Your almost daily phone calls with Jake had been replaced by phone calls to Sami. You look up from the pasta you were stirring on the stove as Jake walks through the side door. He goes to greet you but cuts himself off when he sees you are on the phone.

“Who is it?” You read his lips as he mouths the question and you mouth the answer back. “Hi Sami,” he calls out.

“Jake says hi,” you say with a resigned sigh. Relaying a conversation between the two siblings when you were on the phone with Jake had started very soon after the wedding and now that you were living with Jake, the habit had immediately resumed in reverse and you had long since given up trying to get them to talk to each other. Jake now sports a smile identical to the one Sami always had on her face during these conversations. 

When you finally hang up the phone you roll your eyes at Jake. “You guys are ridiculous, I hate you both.” 

“No you don’t,” he grins as he heads to his room to change out of his work clothes “You love us.” 

“That's the problem.” You mumble to yourself as you dump the pasta into a serving dish and set the table before sitting down to dinner.

“I got two more quotes on redoing the roof,” you tell Jake between bites of alfredo. “I think we should go with the second, they’re more expensive but have better reviews and can begin sooner.” 

“Whatever you think is best.” Jake shrugs, relieved you had taken over the repairs he had been too busy to arrange.

“And the contractor for the hot water tank called, he had a cancellation and can come replace ours tomorrow.” Jake just nods in confirmation and you fight a sigh.

The house that Jake had bought a few months ago, though overall in good shape, had needed a few updates and you had quickly taken over organizing them. Talking about hiring contractors over dinner makes you feel more married than you have ever felt before. The monotony of cohabitation made slipping into the rhythm of life together automatic. 

Living with Jake was easy. You worked together seamlessly, easily dividing household chores and responsibilities. Chatting in the evenings, watching tv, or just sitting in silence reading. The two of you just fit together. He had even tolerated you reorganizing every drawer and shelf in the common spaces with minimal cursing over not being able to find things.

Life continues in the same thread. You and Jake grocery shopping, going for walks, cooking, and doing dishes, just easily living together. But as time went on you were finding it harder and harder. 

Everyday you had to stifle your imagination as you pictured him coming through the door and giving you a kiss. The little part in your heart that you could never squish down was still hoping that one day Jake would look at you and fall in love. 

The logical part tried to keep your breathing steady when Jake would brush past you in the kitchen. Tried to keep you from melting into his touch when he placed his hand on your lower back when you were walking together in public. Tried to keep from staring when you were together. 

It didn’t help that Jake frequently walks around without his shirt. Whether it was first thing in the morning, after a shower, or after a run. You loved and hated it. When you said goodnight and went to your separate rooms you wanted to follow him into the master bedroom and finally end your embarrassingly long dry spell. You should have hooked up with your cute neighbor in your final days in Austin. Maybe that would have made things easier. 

– – – 

“Jake,” your voice startles him out of his sleep. He can hear you tapping gently on his door before easing it open. “We have a problem.” 

“What's wrong?” he mumbles sleepily as he sits up in bed, squinting in the hall light shining through the open door. The rain from earlier is still lightly falling outside. “What time is it?”

“It’s a little after midnight, The roof is leaking.” You tell him, hair pulled up into a sloppy bun and pillow creases on your cheek. “I woke up in a puddle, it's coming through the light fixture above the bed.”

Jake mumbles curses. He had been sleeping soundly and would have likely been able to sleep the whole night if the roof hadn’t leaked. He helps you move the bed and set up a big rubbermaid bin under the leak to catch the dripping water while you strip the wet bedding off the mattress and throw it in the bathtub. You flip the breaker and he carefully removes the light so the water can fall directly into the bin without pooling, you dutifully hold the flashlight.

After you follow him into the attic to see where the leak is. Fortunately it is only in one spot and the rain has slowed to a stop. Using the towels you had so neatly organized, you help him mop up all the water you can. You place another bin under the main leak but it has slowed to a drip. Working next to you in the dimly lit attic, Jake realizes he never would have noticed the leak so soon if not for you.

“When are they supposed to fix the roof?” Jake asks you.

“Monday,” you say sadly and he sighs. “If you leave all the information for me I’ll call the insurance company tomorrow.”

He follows you down the ladder with the wet towels and throws them into the washing machine. You follow with the towels from your room. Your teeth chattering and he looks at you for the first time and notices that your pajamas are soaking wet.

“Pip you're going to get sick, go change.” You roll your eyes at him but comply and grab a dry pair of pajamas and head to the bathroom so you can leave your wet ones in the tub. When you come out of the bathroom he meets you in the hall. “I dumped the bin in your room, we should be good to go back to sleep.” You nod but don't follow him; grabbing your pillow you turn to go into the living room. 

“Where are you going?”

“The couch.” You stare at him in confusion. “My mattress is soaked.”

“Yeah but mine's not.” You stand there staring at him and he suddenly feels like he has overstepped. The look in your eye is unreadable but you just agree quietly and follow him. When he reaches the bed and you crawl in beside him he feels his stomach clench. He can't remember the last time he slept next to someone, it's been years, definitely before the nightmares started. What if he moves and hits you, or says something he doesn’t want you to hear?

It’s awkward. As soon as he lies down beside you he feels the need to move and eases himself over to his other side. He can hear you rolling over when he does. You don’t say anything but he can tell you are tense. Maybe he shouldn't have insisted you share his bed. “Do you want to build a pillow wall?” 

“Don’t be ridiculous.” You roll over again and he can feel your eyes on him. “Good night Jake.” 

“Goodnight.” You stop moving but he can tell you are not asleep by your breathing. He listens and tries not to move but he can’t sleep if you are awake. He feels the bed shift every time you move and shuffle your feet. He stares into the dark hyper aware of you beside him, pretending to sleep before he finally breaks the silence. “Are you awake?” 

“Yeah.”

“Can’t sleep?” 

“My feet are cold,” you tell him. “I can’t sleep with cold feet.”

Jake bites back a sigh and says the thing he doesn’t want to do. “You can put them on me.”

Your soft laugh almost makes it worthwhile. “I don’t think you mean that,” you counter. And he reaches down to feel your feet and immediately regrets his decision when he feels how icy they are. 

“Come on,” he says resignedly and urges you to roll over so you can press your feet to his warm legs. When you settle he finds himself focusing on your cold toes to distract himself from the warmth coming from your body lying beside him. 

As your feet warm he can feel the tension leave you as you relax into sleep, your breath slowing and evening out and soon he finds himself drifting off as well. 

– – – 

Maverick is carrying a lifeless Rooster in his arms. He is standing in the desert. Rubble and fire from a destroyed building around him. Blood is dripping down Rooster's extended arm and steadily falling from his fingertips and onto the dry sand. Jake stands, blood pounding in his ears with every drop that hits the ground. Maverick is speaking to him in a language he can't understand, repeating the same phrase. 

When he realizes it’s weird to see Maverick cradling Rooster so easily everything seems to blur  and when it clears there is now a father holding his young son in front of him. The boy's eyes are open and staring blankly at the sky. The man speaks but it is Maverick's voice he hears, “You shot at the wrong time, his death is your fault Hangman.” The man advances towards him brandishing the body of his dead son repeating the words in Maverick’s voice, becoming angrier and more grief-stricken with every repetition as Jake retreats, his heart pounding, unable to escape.

– – – 

“No!” Jake sits up gasping. His heart is hammering wildly as he tries to breathe. He feels like there is a weight on his chest, contracting his lungs and keeping his ribcage from expanding. The image of the boy burned into his retinas. 

“Jake?” The soft sound of your voice startles him and he flinches when he sees you move before pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes. Trying to rub away what he saw. Your hand is hesitant as it brushes against his back, gently moving and pressing his t-shirt into his sweat soaked skin. He wants to tell you to stop, that he doesn’t deserve comfort after what he did. He wants to get up and leave, but he doesn't. He just sits there frozen and focuses on the feeling of your warm hand smoothing over his spine as his breathing steadies. When the chill sets in he strips off the sweaty shirt and lies back down on his back.

“Nightmare?” you ask quietly already knowing the answer. He nods even though he is not sure you can see him. He’s told you about the nightmares, never why or what he sees but you know he has trouble sleeping. You're the only one who knows. 

You lie on your side and he can feel your eyes in the dark. Unable to rub his back you place your hand on his chest and resume the relaxing motion. But the feel of your hand on his bare chest is too much and he stops you, flattening your hand to his heart. When you go to pull away he reaches up with his other hand and clutches your wrist, unwilling to let you go.

“Don’t go.” The words slip out before he can stop them and he clenches his jaw to keep from speaking more. He can feel you nod you head beside him. You slowly begin flexing your fingers and he relaxes the hand flattening yours and you begin to gently scratch his chest with your finger tips. He finally lets out a shuddering breath and shifts his grip on your wrist so he can feel your steady pulse. 

“Breath with me,” you whisper. “Focus on my breaths.” he lies beside you and listens to you breathe and focuses on the feeling of your warm hand pressed to his heart and the gentle caress of your finger tips. He feels the butterfly kiss of your lips on his shoulder and his skin burns. Your soft breaths moves over his skin and his heart aches.

When your fingers stop moving he knows you are asleep but doesn’t let go of your hand, eventually he falls into a dreamless sleep listening to your soft breaths. 

[sihtricfedaraaahvicius]

I don’t want to overwhelm you cause I know you have several requests on top of your stories, but if you don’t mind I’d like to store this request idea in your box for a future date otherwise I will forget it.

Occurs in season 4 episode 3 where Cnut takes Mercia. The reader is Sihtrics wife, pregnant but he doesn’t know that she is pregnant cause he hasn’t seen her in so long. She was residing in Mercia, welcome by Æthelfled because her mother outlawed her in Wessex since she’s like Uhtred a Saxon Dane, part heathen. Anyways when Cnut and his men savage Mercia, Brida finds her trying to flee and Brida let’s her go escape. Walking in the woods for hours the reader is in a lot of discomfort, sore, cold, wet, tired, and about to give up hope. Suddenly, she sees Hæston and “his kinsfolk” caravan and begs Hæston to help her, maybe offering the promise of a reward. He obliges, he’s always liked her anyways so it wasn’t difficult to deny her but he was disappointed to see Sihtric’s pip in her belly. She hops in the cart and they travel in the woods for awhile and run in to Uhtred and his men. Sihtric is surprised to see her, she hops out and he’s panicked to her appearance disheveled, thinking Hæston did something to her but she explains and it’s just a really fluffy, emotional reunion and pup announcement.

Warnings: mention of pregnancy and some distress as reader worries about baby's wellbeing for a moment.

Pairing: Sihtric x you (f)

Summary: see request!

Word count: 2.9k

Note: thank you for this request! I hope you enjoy it :)

Taglist: @clairacassidy @finanmoghra @uunotheangel @hb8301 @bathedinheat @neonhairspray @anaeve @bubblyabs @travelingmypassion @sylas-the-grim @heimtathurs @bubbles-for-all-of-us @valeskafics

'I hope he hurries.'

******************

'You're Sihtric's woman,' Brida grinned as she held you at knifepoint, 'are you not?'

'Please,' you cried, 'don't do this.'

'You carry his pup?' she asked as you held your baby bump.

'I do,' you sniffled.

'Does he know?'

'He does not,' you let out a sob, 'please, spare me.'

'How far do you think you'll get in your state?' Brida laughed.

'I don't know, please, Brida,' you begged, 'please let me go.'

Brida looked amused at your begging. It was almost sweet, she thought. While Cnut was busy bringing havoc upon Mercia, Brida had seen you try and escape their wrath. But she had been quick to follow you when she thought she recognised you. She knew killing you would hurt Sihtric, which would in a way harm Uhtred. And that is all Brida wanted. To harm Uhtred as much as she could. As much as he had harmed her.

'Brida, please, for the sake of my child,' you cried on your knees, 'let me go.'

'Is this your first pup?' she asked.

You nodded as tears ran down your cheeks, 'I know you want to hurt Uhtred, but not through me and my child, please.'

Brida sighed, she did feel for you, knowing what it's like to desperately want to be a mother. And now, knowing she was pregnant herself, Brida too, would have begged as you did now.

'Fine,' she snapped, 'run. See how far you can get.'

****************

And you ran. You ran until the night fell, you ran until your body was hurting, you ran until you threw up. You eventually fell asleep against a large tree trunk, until the first rays of sunlight woke you up. And then you got back on your feet again. And you walked. You walked until your feet were bleeding and until you fell down to your knees. In pain, in tears and locked into the tight grip of fear. Fear for your pup's life, fear for your own life, fear for the lives of those you left behind in Mercia, and the fear for your husband's life, who had no idea you were pregnant. You wiped your dirty hair out of your sweaty face and then placed your hands onto your belly.

'We will find a way, I promise you, little love, I will see your face. I will. And so will your father.'

And you sobbed at the thought of Sihtric, your beautiful husband. Gods, you missed him. So much. He had been away for so many months and you would do anything to be with him now. To be in his arms, to feel his lips on your skin and his voice in your ear, telling you everything would be okay. That he would take care of you. That he would take care of everything. And you prayed to the gods for help. And almost immediately, as if you had been heard and your prayer was answered, you heard voices chatting in the distance. You looked up and saw a group of people further down in the woods, but they seemed to be approaching. You jumped up and ran again, as fast as you could, holding your baby bump as you sprinted through the forest.

'Help!' you called, 'please, help!'

You saw how the leading man ordered his group to halt. You quickly understood they had no idea if this was a trap, so you stopped running and approached slowly as you kept yelling.

'I wish no harm! Please, I need help. I am a woman in need!'

'A woman?' you heard their leader chuckle with an accent, and for a moment you worried you were yelling to Cnut and his men as they started their approach again, until the man continued, 'and how may I help this woman in need?'

That sounded like Haesten and, even in all your despair, you rolled your eyes at the thought of that man. You stopped and fell down to your knees.

'I- I need to rest. I…,' you hesitated, 'I- I am pregnant!'

And upon hearing those words Haesten jumped off his horse and walked over to you.

'Where is the father of your pup?' Haesten frowned and he crossed his arms as he closed in on you.

'He marched months ago, he is not aware,' you said as you kept your head down.

'And how did this woman in need end up here?'

'Cnut-,' you let out a sob, 'Cnut has taken Mercia. I ran. I've been in the woods all night.'

'On your own?'

'Yes. I have no one, please,' you finally looked up at him as he stood before you. And his eyes grew big when he saw your face and his arms dropped lifeless next to his body.

'You're Sihtric's woman,' he gasped, 'is he… is he the father?'

You nodded and gave him a weak smile. You worried this knowledge may not work in your favour. Haesten has always had a thing for you, which everyone knew, and you feared that he'd just leave you in the middle of the forest now, on your own.

Haesten sighed and looked down at you, 'we could have had beautiful pups together, lady,' he shook his head and then he helped you up, 'but come, you can travel with us. You can get onto the cart we carry with us, in the back.'

'Where are you heading to?' you asked, cautiously.

'Heading North, but nowhere in particular, lady,' Haesten grinned, 'I am a free man! I have no land anymore. Which reminds me,' he said and paused for a moment, 'your husband had some part in that.'

You were startled at his words and knew it was over for you. You took a step back and Haesten threw his hands up innocently when he saw your worried face. 

'I- I promise if you help me, you will be rewarded once I find my husband.'

'Hey, I am not going to hurt you, I swear it, afterall,' he said and looked at your belly, 'I am a family man!' Haesten laughed and nodded towards the two boys a little further back. Cnut's sons.

*****************

You don't know how long you've been laying in the cart, being a part of Haesten's travelling gang, but you have at least been able to get some rest. But that was the only thing you got. You still looked and felt dirty. Leaves stuck in your messy hair, dirt on your face, arms, hands and in your hair too. Your tunic, once beige, was now a dark grey colour and your shoes were falling apart, which is why you had blisters all over your feet in the first place, and when no one was looking, you tossed whatever was left of your shoes out of the cart into the bushes. And as you felt your pup kick inside your tummy, you dozed off again.

********************

You were woken up by the men murmuring among each other. You rubbed your eyes and opened them as you laid down, trying to hear what was so interesting that made the men all whisper. And then you heard Haesten.

'Uhtred Ragnarson!' he laughed, 'I thought I could smell something rotten on the air!'

You jumped up after hearing Uhtred's name, but you were too far in the back of the travelling company to see if he was actually there.

'We should kill him now, Lord,' Sihtric said, 'while we have the chance.'

'Sihtric,' you whispered with big eyes. You would recognize your husband's voice anywhere, no matter how far, and you quickly shuffled your way out of the cart, running barefoot past all the men and women you'd been travelling with for a few days.

'I've had enough of fighting Danes,' Uhtred said bored, 'even weasels like Haesten.'

You saw Uhtred mounted upon his horse as you pushed yourself past the others, making haste to your husband, who you hadn't seen yet.

'Uhtred and his pretty boys,' Haesten said, 'looking so sad and far from home. It seems fate has brought us together, again. Your men,' Haesten continued, 'look like ragged dogs in need of meat and we have plenty. Speaking of meat,' he turned to Sihtric, 'your wife has quite some on her.'

'My wife?' Sihtric snapped.

'She-,' Haesten started but was interrupted by your screaming.

'Sihtric!' you shouted when you finally saw him, 'Sihtric!'

Sihtric's eyes darted with panic and confusion over the crowd Haesten travelled with, until he finally laid eyes on you. Despite your worn out appearance, he recognised you immediately.

'My love!' he shouted, dismounting his horse as fast as he could and he ran towards you.

'Sihtric!' you cried. Your feet gave out under you and you fell to your knees, feeling twigs and pebbles cut into your skin.

'Darling,' Sihtric said, not able to hide his shock and concern when he crouched down in front of you and saw the state you were in, 'what- what happened?' 

You tried to catch your breath and his eyes darted all over you, before he could bring himself to cup your cheeks, 'My love, tell me what happened! Did Haesten threaten you? Has he taken you with him by force?' he looked down at your belly, which was carrying his pup for 7 months already without his knowledge, 'has he touched you? Did he touch you!?' Sihtric almost yelled as tears filled his eyes, 'say something, my love, please!'

'Sihtric,' you whispered and looked up into his eyes, and the sight of his mismatched pair was enough to make you sob. 

Without asking any more questions he wrapped you in his arms.

'It's okay,' he whispered as he held you tight, 'I'm here, sweetling. You're safe, I promise. Just take it easy. Talk when you are ready.'

Sihtric kissed your temple before he carefully picked you up in his arms, carrying you over to Uhtred, Finan, Osferth and Young Uhtred. And you don't remember, but it had only taken you seconds of being in your husband's arms before you fainted.

'What is she doing with you?' Uhtred asked, concerned, while everyone watched how Sihtric carried you in his arms as he tried to control his emotions.

'It's quite a story,' Haesten smiled, 'we camp here tonight. Join us! And I will tell you.'

******************

You felt a little dizzy when you opened your eyes. You found yourself laying on comfortable furs inside a tent, but the bright light of the sun was hurting your eyes, as it shone through the open entrance. You groaned at the bright light and immediately heard something fall over as Sihtric jumped up, knocking over the wooden stool he had been seated on, and rushed over to you.

'My love,' he whispered, kissing your chapped lips gently, 'are you okay, beautiful?'

'Y-yeah,' you sighed quietly, 'just a little dizzy.'

'Here,' Sihtric said as he took a cup and brought it to your lips, 'drink some water, you need it.'

You sipped from the water and had to admit it indeed made you feel a little better instantly. Sihtric put the cup down and quickly took your hands.

'M-my love,' he stammered, looking at your belly as he swallowed hard, 'w-who-,'

'Yours,' you interrupted your husband, 'Sihtric, it's yours.'

'What?' his eyes grew wide, 'a-are you sure? Haesten said he… he humped y-'

'No!' you yelled, in shock and disgust, 'he has not! By the gods!' you cupped Sihtric's cheeks as his lower lip trembled and his eyes filled with tears, 'darling, please listen,' you said, trying to not let your own tears get the best of you, 'Cnut and Brida attacked Mercia. As I tried to escape I was stopped by Brida. I feared she would take my life, but she spared me. And then I ran. I wandered the woods for one day and one night, until I crossed paths with Haesten. You know he always had a thing for me,' you chuckled lightly as a tear rolled down your cheek, 'he was disappointed to hear that you are the father of the pup in my belly. And he said that me and him would have made beautiful pups together. He probably just told you that he had humped me to fool you. Believe me, my darling, I only ran into Haesten a few days ago.'

Sihtric looked at you and sighed with relief, not knowing what to say. You understood he was overwhelmed and also feeling guilty that he hadn't been there to help you through your pregnancy, up until now, so you took his hands and placed them on your belly.

'Do you feel that?' you smiled as the pup in your belly kicked like crazy, like knowing that the father was finally there, and you looked at Sihtric's face to see his reaction.

'Gods,' Sihtric let out a soft sob as he smiled upon feeling his child in your belly, 'it's… it's ours?' he looked up at you with tears in his eyes.

'It is, Sihtric,' you smiled as tears rolled down your face again, 'you will be a father soon.'

'I will?' he said in disbelief, looking at you for confirmation once more.

'You will be the best father, I know it, my love,' you whispered. 

Sihtric suddenly laughed and shook his head, finally understanding everything you just told him.

'I will be a father,' he chuckled lightly, and then he carefully grabbed your face and kissed you, 'I will be a father,' his eyes grew ever wider and he kissed you again. Then he ran out of the tent and threw his hands up as he shouted again. 

'I will be a father! Lord!' Sihtric exclaimed as he ran to Uhtred, 'I will become a father! Finan! Osferth!' he ran over to the other man, 'I will be-'

'Aye! We heard ye,' Finan laughed, 'a father, yes! We'll drink to that tonight!'

******************

After Sihtric had shouted at everyone who would listen that he would become a father, he had made his way back to you. And he carefully cleaned you up as much as he could. Picking the leaves out of your hair and washing out the dirt with some fresh water. Then he went to find some rags, and a clean tunic for you, and he carefully cleaned your face, arms and your hands. When he removed your tunic to clean up your legs, and to get you into the fresh piece of clothing, he looked sad upon your bruised knees.

'Oh, my love,' Sihtric whispered sadly, carefully cleaning the bruises before he kissed both of your knees softly.

'I will survive,' you smiled at your husband's tenderness, which you loved so much.

'But you're surviving for two now,' he smiled and kissed your tummy, 'you need to be extra careful. Promise me.'

'I promise, darling.'

You couldn't help but blush, brushing your hand through his dark curls as he rested the shaved side of his head onto your belly, as if listening to the pup. You felt so blessed to be his wife and even more blessed to become a mother to his child.

'Sihtric,' you chuckled lightly after a moment, 'I am a little cold…'

'Oh, gods,' he blushed, I'm sorry.' Sihtric smiled shyly and quickly dressed you into the clean tunic he found. Well, found, he had to pay Haesten some sort of reward apparently, and Sihtric bargained for clean clothes to be thrown into the deal. 

Your man was not always thinking everything through, but when it came to you, his mind was as sharp as ever.

After Sihtric had you dressed again, he grabbed a large fur and took your hand, walking you outside. It was already dark and a little chilly when you joined the men around the campfire. Sihtric sat down first and pulled you carefully down onto his lap. He pulled the warm fur over you and wrapped his arms around you, underneath the fur, and leaned his temple against yours, occasionally pecking your cheek as he listened to the men discuss their plan of attack to stop Cnut and Brida. 

But Sihtric stopped listening rather quickly when he got distracted by his wife. You mindlessly trailed your fingers up and down his biceps as you heard the men around you speak.

'I've missed your strong arms, my love,' you whispered, 'nowhere I feel safer.'

Sihtric hummed softly in your ear and you heard him chuckle lightly, squeezing you gently in his arms before you felt his hands move up under your tunic.

'Sihtric,' you gasped quietly, feeling his rough fingertips trail up the inside of your thighs.

'Yes, my love?' you felt him smile as he kissed your cheek again.

'Don't,' you giggled when he traced his fingers lightly over your undergarments.

'Okay, darling,' he chuckled, 'I won't. But I've missed you too, my love.'

'And your time will come, dearest,' you teased and laced your fingers with his, moving his hands up along with yours onto your belly, 'but first we need to get your pup out,' you chuckled.

'I hope he hurries,' Sihtric grinned.

'He?' you frowned. Your husband didn't see it, but he knew you did so by the tone in your voice.

'Yes,' he smiled, feeling the pup kick again, 'can't you feel it by the way he kicks? Such force, like a warrior already. He will be a fighter!'

'Which a little girl can also do,' you reminded him of how he loved your bravery.

'Yes,' Sihtric chuckled in your ear, pausing to kiss your temple as he rubbed his warm hands softly up and down your bump, 'and I promise I will give you a girl, my love. After our boy is born.'

[builtbybrokenbells]

Hate To Love You | iii

Read part two here

Pairing: sam kiszka x f!reader

Word Count: 10.5k

Warnings: SMUT 18+, fingering, oral (f!receiving), unprotected sex (WEAR A CONDOM I JUST HAVE A PROBLEM OK), swearing, love triangle, really fluffy soft sex, general fluff, angst, breakups, sadness in general, depressing themes, sad Danny + Sammy, sorry if i missed any!!

here’s part 3! the last one!! i’ve been writing it for a few days now and i’m sorry it turned out so long! I hope you enjoy and thank you so much for reading 🫶🏻 as always, please excuse any grammar mistakes and please be kind!

~

“The person you are calling isn’t available right now, please-“

“Fuck!” You exclaimed, trying to be as quiet as possible despite your emotions being all over the place. You hung up, not willing to leave yet another message, and dialled the number again. You were pacing back and fourth in the barren hallway. “Danny, please pick up.” You begged, only being met with the sound of a dial tone. You leaned against a section of wall that held no doors, wiping away the tears that were falling without any sign of stopping. When the voicemail rang again, you threw your phone at the ground, not caring about the repercussions. You took your head in your hands, pulling at your hair. A choked sob fell from your mouth, echoing through the empty air.

Sam was in his room, still standing by the door, not finding the power in himself to move from his position. He could hear every desperate voicemail you’d left his band mate, every cry, every rejected phone call. He wanted so badly to go out, to tell you it was okay, or that he was sorry, but he stood frozen, knowing he couldn’t face you after what he’d said to you. He was heartbroken, questioning if the months of love you both shared was real or if he’d made it up in his head. He thought back to the words you shared that night, chest aching at the proclamations of love that he had thrown in the garbage.

There was a part of Sam that hoped you would change your mind, knock on his door and ask to go back to bed with him, but with every ring of your phone, the hope was crushed even more. He regretted not telling you about his interaction with Danny at the venue, thinking maybe it would have changed the nights events.

In the hallway, you were still crying, staring at your phone that you’d tossed to the ground, praying it would light up with his name. The altercation with Sam was breaking your heart more by the second, afraid of genuinely losing him, but you were petrified that you’d lose the only friend you’d ever had, too. You picked your phone up, shoving it back in your pocket. Your eyes scanned the doors, wishing that somehow you could just tell by intuition which room was his, but you didn’t want to risk waking up a poor stranger to your current mess of a life. You’d given up, ready to just go out to your car and start the long drive home.

When you turned to make your way to the elevator, a door behind you opened. You whipped your head back around, not bothering to wipe your mess of tears away. Danny stepped into the hallway, looking just as rough as you did. You turned your body towards him, but you didn’t move forward, scared that he might turn around. “Pip?” His voice was raspy and his hair was disheveled, red eyes brimming with tears. There was no judgement, knowing you looked no better. You stayed stagnant, still unsure if you should approach. “Come here.” He whispered, lifting his arm slightly and holding his hand out.

You sprung to action at the words, running to him and wrapping your arms around his torso. He held you just as tightly, just happy to know you still cared. “I’m so sorry, Danny.” You cried into his shirt. “I just- I don’t even-“ you cut yourself off every time you tried to formulate some kind of narrative.

“Please come inside. Let’s just talk, please.” You nodded, scared to let go of him. He guided you into his hotel room, closing the door behind him. The room reeked of alcohol, a half-empty whisky bottle decorating the wooden stand by the bed. He sat down on the mattress, patting the spot next to him. You obeyed, taking your shoes off and sitting criss-cross, facing him. “I, uh, I heard you and Sam.” He spoke first. You nodded slowly, sniffling. You wiped your cheeks with the sleeves of the sweater you were wearing.

“Yeah, I figured.” You let out a small, humourless laugh. “The whole hotel probably heard that fight.”

“I’m sorry.” He said. You could tell he was still drunk, just by the way his words were coming out.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, I’m the one who needs to apologize.”

“Well, yeah, you do.” He laughed, easing the tension a bit. “But I shouldn’t have tried to break down the door like that.” You lifted your head, finally making eye contact with him. “I shouldn’t have forced you guys to talk to me. I was just hurting, I guess.”

“You don’t have to explain anything, Danny.” You whispered, reaching your hand out for his. He didn’t hesitate in grabbing it, holding onto it like he thought he’d lose it. “I mean yeah, me and Sam got into it pretty bad.” You were putting it lightly. You were certain that you and Sam would never recover from that fight, but that was a problem you could hurt over later. “But you were completely justified. We were the assholes in this situation, through and through.” He shrugged at your words.

“You guys technically aren’t required to tell anybody, anything, Pip. I think it just hurt because I thought you would. You’ve never hid anything from me the entire time we’ve known each other. You’ve never lied to me before.”

“I didn’t want to hurt you.” You chuckled, shaking your head. “It’s stupid, because I ended up hurting you anyway. I just never wanted to see that look on your face, the one you gave me earlier.”

“You didn’t hurt me, y/n, the situation hurt me. It was a lose-lose, either way.”

“Stop!” You exclaimed, throwing your hands in the air in exasperation. “Stop acting like everything is fine and we didn’t do anything. I hurt you, and it’s okay to say that.” He looked down at his hand resting in yours, drawing in a long breath. He exhaled, finally giving a slow nod.

“Fine, yeah. You did, pip. Really bad.” He mumbled.

“I’m sorry, Danny.” You said. He looked back up to meet your eyes. “I can’t begin to explain how sorry I am. I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you if I have to.” The honesty was raw. You meant every word.

“I know, and that’s why it’s so easy to forgive you.” He gave a soft smile.

“You don’t have to settle for a shitty apology that I begged you to let me say.”

“Fine, I want you to come to my apartment and make me pancakes for breakfast every day for the next year. That settle it?” You both laughed now, diffusing the situation a bit more.

“I guess that’ll have to suffice, then.” You both sat, wordless, not knowing where to start.

“I’m in love with you, y/n. I think you’ve always known that, though.” Danny sighed.

“I haven’t, actually.” You heaved a breath of your own. “I didn’t know until after Sam and I got together.”

“Really?” Danny asked, genuinely curious.

“Yeah. I mean, I know we’re really close and obviously that we love each other, but I didn’t know you felt that way.” You said, your free hand running over the seam of your pants. “I wish I did, though.”

“Did you ever feel that way about me?” You swallowed hard, realizing that the hard part had just begun.

“Not exactly.” You whispered. “I love you more than words, Danny. You’re everything I could ever want in a person, but I think that you came into my life for a reason. I looked my whole life to find a friend like you. I never had anyone, and you showed up that night at the bar, looking at me like I was a real person. One with a backstory, one with beliefs and morals and jokes begging to be told. You were the first person who viewed me as one, too.” He didn’t move, soaking in everything you were saying. “I know this is going to sound terrible, but it’s true. I love you too much. So much so that I couldn’t date you. I could never risk losing you, or not having you by my side. I want you to be there for everything, every up and down, my wedding, I want you to help me raise my kids, to be Uncle Danny, and hopefully their godparent, too. Falling in love with you jeopardizes that. I know I could absolutely love you in the same way you love me, but I feel like in this lifetime, it was written in the stars that you were meant to be my best friend.” He took a sharp intake of breath.

“Ouch, friendzoned.” He laughed. You smacked his arm.

“Shut up.” You smiled. “In some fucked up way, I wish I could just get over that and be in love with you. You’re attractive, you’re a fantastic person, you’re kind and funny, and you’ve always been so good to me. You are the type of person everybody wants to fall in love with.” You admitted.

“But you’re in love with Sam.” Danny added. Slowly, you nodded. “It’s okay, pip. I’m not mad at you because you don’t want to be with me. That would be ridiculous. It sucks, yeah, obviously, but I want you to be happy more than anything. Above all, I want you in my life. You’re my best friend, too. Spending the rest of my life with you, no matter what relationship we have, is all I want.” He confessed. You felt more tears fill your eyes at his words.

“I want to give you the world, Danny. You have no idea how much you mean to me. I don’t deserve to have someone like you.” You sobbed, not bothering to hide your emotions with him.

“I know, pip. I feel the same way about you.” He pulled you into an embrace. It was familiar, comfortable, and felt like home. But it was a different feeling of home, not like the one Sam gave you. Both wonderful, but in two very different ways. “I guess I just don’t understand the whole thing yet.”

“What in particular?” You asked, head resting on his shoulder now.

“Sam treated you like shit for a long time, y/n. I don’t understand how you just let that go.”

“I don’t know,” you said, truthfully “it helped when we found out that it was kind of just a misunderstanding from the beginning.” You shrugged. “I always felt that way for him, though. I mean before he started being an ass to me, I really was falling for him. I guess that just never went away.”

“What did he misunderstand so badly that he decided he had to make you miserable?” You could tell Sam and Danny never talked about you much, just from the way Danny was speaking.

“He thought we were together. Way back when things started to change, he walked into your place and saw me in your kitchen. We’d flirted back and fourth before that. He walked out that day and we never actually talked it out.” You explained. Danny pulled back from you a little bit, shooting you a look of uncertainty.

“That’s what he told you?”

“Yeah,” you nodded “the night it all started, we had a big blowout over me chatting with another guy at your party. He said some mean shit about me flirting with other guys behind your back. The truth came out, I guess.” You let out a short-lived laugh.

“But he asked me about that right after it happened. I told him the truth.” Your stomach churned at his words. “He heard me talk about you all of the time, but he knew we weren’t together.”

“Oh.” You whispered. So Danny talked about you, but Sam didn’t. Clearly, Sam just had a problem with admitting he was wrong. “So he treated me like garbage because he didn’t want to tell me he fucked up and misunderstood.” You clarified. “And apparently, he doesn’t know how to trust me, either.” You murmured, taking a lock of your hair between your fingers and playing with the ends. “You know, it’s almost funny. I adore him, and I really do want to be with him, but he knows how to break my heart better than anyone else.” Your voice cracked again, feeling guilty for talking about Sam to Danny.

“Yeah, it seems so. He said some diabolical shit.” Danny was fully transparent with you, not finding a need to lie about it. You nodded, agreeing silently. “If I was dating you, I’d want to show you off to everyone. I mean, when I confronted him about it earlier, he wouldn’t even admit it, and he knew that I knew.” Your head snapped up to look at him.

“W-what?” You stuttered. “He knew that you knew?” You said, feeling a rush of anger flow through you.

“Yeah. I saw you walking out of his dressing room last night. When I brought it up to him, he lied and said you were a groupie. I told him I knew you guys were together, and he didn’t really say anything back. I figured he’d tell you.” Danny said, his eyes sad.

“He didn’t say anything.” You were so quiet that he could barely catch your words. You thought that your heart couldn’t break any more, but it was hurting more by the second. “He never even admitted it?” Danny shook his head, watching you carefully. A tear rolled down your cheek, mind engulfed with the thought of him being embarrassed of you. “I told him a lot, more than I’ve told a lot of people. He knows why you mean so much to me. He made me choose.” You croaked, body shaking with another wave of cries.

“He made you choose between us?” Danny was furious at the thought.

“Gave me an ultimatum, actually.” You laughed at the humourless admission. “I’m thinking that maybe I never really meant that much to him, anyway. Maybe all he wanted was to fuck me.” You chortled, tears still flowing freely. “I feel so fucking stupid!” You stood and began pacing again, not knowing what to do with yourself.

“Pip, you’re not stupid. Not at all.” Danny consoled you, now standing up with you.

“I never learn! Somehow, I always end up falling for assholes. I guess I just have no judgement of character, whatsoever.” You exclaimed, another body-racking sob falling from your lips. “I told him I loved him, too.”

“Hey,” Danny grabbed your arms, holding you still. You looked up at him, your eyes red and puffy. His heart ached seeing you that way. “You aren’t stupid for wanting to see the best in everyone.” He said. “That’s what I love the most about you. All you know how to do is love.” He took your chin between his thumb and his pointer finger. You two stood in limbo, staring at each other. “You don’t deserve that.” You wanted to break eye contact, to run and hide and wallow in the self-pity, but he wasn’t letting you. Before you knew what was happening, he had leaned down and caught your lips in a kiss.

It was a nice feeling, comforting, almost. He tasted like whiskey and his lips were soft. You wanted so badly to love it, to realize that he was the person you should be with, but it felt wrong. When he broke away, he saw the look of panic in your eyes. “Fuck, y/n, I’m so sorry.” He backed up, letting you go. “I shouldn’t have done that, it was wrong of me. I’m so sorry.” You felt like you were going to have a heart attack. Your chest was paining, heartbeat too fast to be healthy. Your palms were clammy and you felt like you couldn’t breathe. You had no idea what to do.

“I… I have to go,” you squeaked, feeling another wave of tears about to hit. “I love you, Danny. So much. I’m so sorry for everything.”

“Pip, wait, please.” He pleaded.

“I’m so sorry, Danny.” You were backing up now, headed towards the door. You hated to admit that Sam might have been right. It was probably smarter to have waited until the morning. “I love you so much.” You whispered once more before opening the door and walking into the hallway. For the second time that night, you’d left a boy staring blankly at the spot you’d stood moments before, not knowing what to do.

•

The morning came violently and unwelcome. Both Danny and Sam had barely slept, tossing and turning, trying to come up with a solution to fix the situation. Both boys had called you and texted, to no avail. You had gone completely silent. Just disappeared, as if you’d never existed in the first place. You turned your location off, to which Sam had previously had access to, and it was driving him insane with worry. He just wanted to know if you were okay. When he’d reached his limit, he finally got out of bed and knocked on Danny’s door, hoping you stayed there for the night.

When Danny opened the door, his own hope of seeing you there was quickly flattened by Sam’s angry expression. “Can I help you?” Danny asked, not willing to speak with him yet.

“Is she in here with you?” He asked, omitting any type of greeting.

“I was hoping she went back to your room.” Danny admitted, now sick with worry himself.

“What did you do to her?” Sam snapped, immediately putting Danny on defence mode.

“What did I do to her?” He scoffed. Sam pushed his way inside the room. Danny slammed the door behind him. “Last I checked, you were the one throwing out ultimatums. What the fuck was that about?” Sam gave a look of warning. “She was out of her mind she was so upset. She’s in love with you, Sam! Why would you treat her like that?”

“Shut the fuck up, man.” Sam dismissed the statement completely. “Did she come in here last night?” Danny nodded. Sam’s blood boiled at the thought, even though he already knew you did. The confirmation gave him no solace. “What happened?” He demanded.

“She apologized. We made up. She cried about all of the shitty stuff you said to her. You know, exactly what you’d expect.” Danny shot back.

“So why’d she leave if everything was all sunshine and rainbows?” Sam pressed, knowing there had to be more. Danny avoided the question like it was the plague, backing down a bit and switching topics.

“Do you love her, Sam?”

“What?”

“I said, do you love her?” He repeated.

“What do you—yeah, of course I do!” Sam shouted.

“Then fucking show her. If you love her so much, stop breaking her heart all of the time, or you’ll lose her for good.” Sam looked to the ground, not sure how to answer. “She’s head over heels for you, man. Don’t fuck that up. She’s worth way more than what you’re giving her.”

“And what would you know about that?” Sam rolled his eyes.

“Cut the shit, Sam. If you love her, be with her. Don’t hide it, don’t pick fights or make her choose between anyone. You have to trust her, because she would never do anything to hurt you.” Danny explained, losing his anger a bit.

“If you love her so much, why are you giving up on her?” Sam asked, conceding, too.

“Because anyone with eyes knows she’s always going to pick you.” Sam’s heart dropped, suddenly feeling terrible about everything that happened. “She left last night because I kissed her. I was drunk and stupid and that was my mistake. I never should have done that.” Sam felt that same jealousy burn through him again, but he let it slide. “I love her more than anything, but I want her to be happy. I’m happy if she is. She was very clear with me that her and I are friends. She was very clear about how much she loves you.” Sam swallowed hard, relaxing his posture slightly.

“I’m sorry, Danny. I know I was a shitty friend the last few weeks.” He muttered.

“Me too, man. I overstepped some boundaries last night. I was just hurt, I guess.”

“I know, and that’s my fault. I should have been honest with you. I was just so scared of losing her, I wanted to keep her all to myself for as long as I could.” Sam admitted, feeling quite selfish. “I wish I could take back what I said to her last night. I know that you mean a lot to her. I think I just felt… inferior.” Sam chuckled.

“You guys are my best friends.” Danny sighed. “She’s my whole world. She just… yeah,” he trailed off.

“I know. I knew how you felt about her, I shouldn’t have done that to you.”

“I don’t want to be in the way of you guys being together, Sam. If that’s what you both want, I’m in your corner, always. But I want her in my life. She was my friend before anything else.” Sam nodded. “But you have to treat her right. Trust me, you fucked up, a lot.” The two boys laughed, knowing how true his blunt honesty was. “But you can still fix it. Just… believe her. Trust her. The only thing she knows how to do is love.” Sam’s hand ran through his hair, wondering about what to do next. “As for you and me? You’re my brother. Nothing’s ever going to come between that. Well, again.” He added quickly. Sam smiled.

“I’m sorry.”

“Me too.” The two hugged, finally settling the divide that had been looming over them for weeks. “She deserves the world. Just…” Danny paused for a moment. “Give it to her, please. I promise, from here on out, she’s yours. She always was, but you have my blessing, if you will.” Danny chuckled. “I love her, but I can put that to the side. I just want her in my life, no matter what.”

“I will, Danny. I know I’ve been really fucking stupid, but that’s all I want to do. I didn’t mean to hurt you, either. Thank you for understanding.”

“Hey man, love makes everyone stupid.” The two shared a genuine laugh, the first one they’d shared in a while.

•

You braved the entire drive back to your apartment without stopping that night. The tears didn’t stop once, and the feeling of hopelessness was growing by the second. The smell of Sam that lingered on your clothes was breaking you more every time it decided to make itself known. By the time you pulled into the parking lot of your apartment, it was light outside. The sun served as a reminder that no matter how bad everything was, the world would just wake up and keep going as if nothing happened.

Upon entry, your home was eerily quiet, as usual. While it didn’t typically bother you, it was driving you insane, now. The ghost of memories with both boys stuck to the walls, memories clinging to every corner. You weren’t mad at Danny, but you were petrified of hurting him again. The kiss, although unexpected, didn’t cause any resentment towards him. You were both nowhere close to being in sound mind, but you didn’t want to stay and make the situation even worse. As much as it hurt, distance seemed to be the most logical solution at the time. For how long? You weren’t sure.

On the other hand, you cursed yourself, hating that you’d let Sam in. Hating that you let him ruin the only safe space you’ve ever had. You trusted him, finally breaking down that wall you’d built up so high, just to get your heart broken again. You loved him more than you could explain. Falling for him was easier than anything you’d ever done, but if loving him meant you had to give up your friendship with Danny, that wasn’t something you could do. Instead, you settled on the most irrational answer you could think of; losing them both. If that meant you’d stop hurting them, and maybe in turn stop your own hurt, you could make that sacrifice. No matter how much it sucked in the meantime.

You dropped your car keys on your kitchen table, putting your phone next to them. The screen lit up, showcasing the missed calls you’d been avoiding for the last few hours. Your finger lingered over Sam’s contact, an internal debate raging in your head. Almost as if he’d felt it, his name lit up your phone again with another incoming call. You stared at it, watching it ring. You wanted so badly to answer, to hear him say everything would be okay, that he’d be home in a few days and he would come to see you. Instead, you let it go to voicemail. You loved him, but the accusations and the ultimatums were just too much. You thought he would understand how much Danny meant to you, that maybe what he was asking of you was unreasonable. You wanted to work it out, but the fear of picking up the phone and getting into another fight was overwhelming.

Your bedroom was calling for you, your bed begging you to climb in and get some rest. When you walked down the hallway and turned into the room, your stomach churned. Your bed wasn’t your bed; it was the mattress that Sam had slept on for so many nights, his aura seeping into the foam and claiming it as his own. Laughing was all you could do. The apartment didn’t even belong to him, but it felt like he was supposed to be here.

You shed his clothes from your body, changing into pyjamas of your own. You threw your hair up, standing impossibly still in the middle of the small room. You were scared to move, as if you’d stumble upon another memory that would shatter your heart. Eventually, you picked up his sweater and pants from the floor, folding them neatly and bringing them back to your kitchen. You thought you’d be exhausted by the time you arrived home, but the thought of sleeping was sickening. You couldn’t bear the thought of waking up to this pain again. You grabbed your keys again, Sam’s clothes in hand, and walked back to your car.

You drove to his apartment complex, running up to his floor as fast as you could, wanting to be in and out as quick as possible. You unlocked his door with the spare key he’d given you and walked inside. The welcoming atmosphere of his home was devastating to you. The calming decor and familiar scent made you want to crawl into his bed and never leave, but you did what you intended to do. You sat his clothes on his bed, leaving the spare key on top, knowing he’d find it when he got home. Your legs carried you back to the exit automatically, but your mind was telling you to stay, that this was home, not wherever you were going back to. Still, you went into the hallway and locked the door behind you, trying to leave one of the biggest parts of your life in the past.

•

The days had strung together as if they were one long, never ending cycle. The temporary leave of absence from your job you’d taken allowed to to hide away in your apartment and wallow in pity. Your boss was quite understanding. She’d grown to be more like family, rather than management; knowing you well enough to understand that there wasn’t many people you could turn to. Instead of granting unpaid sick time, she approved a stress leave, ensuring you could still pay your rent and buy groceries while you were stuck in your rut. You appreciated it, considering you didn’t even have to explain why. The minute she’d seen the state you were in, she understood something bad happened.

The boys had returned from their tour a few days prior. The only reason you knew that was because you checked their social media’s constantly, missing them more every time you did. It was definitely a form of self-punishment, but you couldn’t stop yourself. Seeing the smiles they adorned in pictures gave you some sort of peace, knowing they were at least okay and still enjoying their passion. As for speaking to them, you were still avidly avoiding any form of contact. The missed calls on your phone had now reached the triple digits, not even counting the texts and voicemails. You genuinely had yourself convinced that they would be okay; that if you stayed away for long enough they’d both move on and be better for it. Misery was a terrible thing; the most successful persuader and it loved your company. You’d become very acquainted with it as of recent.

After more than a week of moping around your apartment, you pried yourself off of your couch, which had become your hideaway. You couldn’t find it in yourself to sleep in your bed, finding that the empty space that Sam used to occupy was way larger than it had ever been. The solidarity of the couch helped you forget about the space in Sam’s bed that had your name written on it, too. Beds were a touchy subject, now. You changed your clothes but couldn’t find the energy to shower. You lathered your hair in dry shampoo and brushed your teeth, instead. A quick trip to the coffee shop seemed reasonable, something to break you from your habit of staying inside.

You slipped on a sweater you were certain had belonged to your father years ago, but it ended up in your closet somehow. It was much too large, the sleeves hanging down inches past your hands. But it was comfortable and reminded you of your childhood. You made a note that you’d have to go and visit soon. You weren’t too concerned with looking your best, so you put on a pair of slippers and threw the hood of the sweater up, grabbing your car keys on the way out the door. You made your way down the stairs to the ground floor, keeping your head down, and collided with someone as you walked out the main entrance. “Shit! I’m sorry.” You rasped, not realizing how bad you sounded. It had been days since you’d spoken a word. You looked up to find a familiar mess of curly hair and a wave of terror washed over you. “Oh, I- I have to-“ you cut yourself off, making a move to run past him. “Gotta get to work.” You lied, rushing away. It was a stupid lie, but it was something.

“Pip, you’re not going to work. Stop.” Danny called, following after you. You continued on your journey to your car, wishing you would have just stayed inside.

“Yeah, big staff meeting! Can’t miss it.” You fumbled with your key fob, trying to unlock your doors.

“In your fucking pyjamas?” He finally snapped. You stopped, head down, knowing there was no way out of this without making everything worse.

“How long have you been out here?” You asked, voice barely above a whisper. The sky was cloudy, as if it knew the mood that was hanging in the air.

“I don’t know, twenty minutes.” He admitted. “I’ve been here a few times, just never really got the guts to ring your doorbell.”

“Oh,” you mumbled.

“You’ve been avoiding us, Pip.” He stated the obvious. You gave a slow nod, still not willing to look him in the eyes. “Can you please just talk to me?” He begged.

“What do you want me to say?” You broke, voice cracking. “I fucked everything up. I hurt both of you guys and got burned in the process. I’m trying to do the right thing, be a bigger person and let you guys go. I don’t want to hurt you anymore.” You leaned on your car to hold yourself up, suddenly feeling lightheaded. You couldn’t recall the last time you’d stood for this long.

“Pip you’re being ridiculous,” Danny sighed. “Yeah, you guys could have gone about things differently, but at the end of the day it happened. I’m not holding it against you. You both love each other and I want you guys to be together. Even if it wasn’t out in the air, we could all see how happy you both were. You guys make each other happy, pip. You made him really happy. You have to understand that.” Your head ached at the brightness of the outdoors and your chest pained at his admission. “Sam’s been out of his mind with worry. He barely leaves his house, either. He sits there, waiting for you to show up. He doesn’t want to miss you incase you do.”

“I don’t know how to fix it. Between me and you, or me and him, or anything. I don’t know what to do anymore.” The tears you’d been fighting back made their way down your face.

“We all messed up, y/n. Every one of us did stuff wrong. The only way we’re gonna get through it is together.” You felt his hand on your shoulder. You buried your head in your arm that was supporting your weight on the car. “I shouldn’t have kissed you that night. That was my fault, and I’m so sorry. I know that put you in a bad position.”

“It’s okay, Danny. I’m not mad at you. I never was. I’m just mad at me. That look on your face that night… I can’t get it out of my head. I can’t believe that I made you feel that way. You’ve been nothing but good to me. I’m so sorry.” You cried. He pulled you towards him and you fell into his arms, hugging him with every ounce of love in your body.

“Pip, it’s okay. I miss you, I want to put this behind us. I just want my best friend back.” His hand was holding your head to his chest, his other wrapped around you. “You’ve been my best friend since the day I met you, and you’ll always be that, first, over anything else.”

“I miss you so much,” you sniffled, pausing yourself to regain some composure “I want you back in my life, too.” You hated the thought of the hug coming to an end. You’d spend every minute of every day hugging him if you could. It felt safe, something you hadn’t felt in a long time. “Did you want to come with me, maybe?” You asked, nervous that he may reject the offer. He pulled back, still keeping his hands on you. His eyes fell over your face, scanning it for a moment.

“Where are we going, pipsqueak?” He grinned. You felt a shred of happiness begin to chip away at the sorrow that had become so familiar.

“Get in,” you returned his smile.

“You’re not kidnapping me, are you?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Oh come on, you’d love to be kidnapped by me.” You both laughed, climbing into the vehicle. For the first time in a while, life began to feel somewhat normal again. You shoved the keys in the ignition and turned them, starting the car. Your Bluetooth immediately picked up your phone, automatically starting the music you’d been most recently listening to. The digital display lit up with the song and the playlist name. Danny looked at you from the corner of his eye, scared to say anything. Eventually, he broke.

“You uh,” he cleared his throat “you’ve really been going through it, haven’t you?” You laughed, picking your phone up to change the playlist.

“You weren’t supposed to see that.”

“Consider it unseen.” He covered his eyes, causing another giggle to fall from you. It was really nice to laugh again.

The day was spent driving, singing along to songs, eating takeout, and filled with the kind of laughter that made your stomach hurt. It was like nothing ever happened between the two of you. Eventually, when you pulled back into your parking spot, you dreaded the day coming to an end. You were scared to go back inside and be alone again. Danny could sense it, reaching out to put a hand on your knee while you sat in the drivers seat, unmoving. You placed your hand over his, basking in the human contact.

“I don’t want you to go.” You whispered.

“I know, pip. I don’t either.”

“You can stay the night.” You offered, looking over to him.

“I’d love to,” he sighed “but before that, I think you have to talk to Sam. I don’t think you should wait any longer.” Danny chuckled. You gave a slow nod, biting at the dry skin on your lip.

“I probably should.” You conceded, knowing that it was bound to come eventually.

“Don’t be scared, y/n. He’d drop everything and welcome you with open arms right now.” You gave his hand a squeeze, showing him you were listening. “Do you want to be with him?” He asked.

“Yeah,” you breathed, almost immediately “he hurt me really bad that night, but I know he was hurting, too. My apartment feels… empty without him around.” Danny let out a short-lived, breathy laugh.

“He’s been saying the same thing about you.” You swallowed hard. “If he’s what you want, pip, go and get him. There’s no point in both of you being miserable when you both want the same thing.”

“Thank you, Danny.” You said. “I’m sorry that things happened the way they did.”

“Me too.” He assured you. “What matters is we worked it out. It’s in the past, now. Today really made me realize that I never want to live a life without you in it. I’m glad I have you back.” He smiled. “Now go make up with him, and we can all stop being miserable.” He ordered.

“Okay,” you nodded “I will.”

“Good. Call me later and tell me how it went.” He made a move to get out of the car. “I love you, pip.”

“I love you, Danny.” You said as the door closed behind him. You watched him get in his own car through the rear view mirror. You smiled to yourself, happy that you and him had made up. You got out of your car yourself, giving yourself a pep talk as you walked back to your apartment. All you had to do was shower and drive to Sam’s place, and it would all go well after that, everything would be fine. You repeated that in your head until you believed it.

After you showered, you threw on another set of comfortable clothes, knowing you didn’t need to impress Sam. This was strictly a talk with no hidden implications. You wanted to make up with him, tell him how you really felt so it was out in the air. Wherever it went after that, was up to him. You spritzed on some perfume he always told you was his favourite, and you brushed your teeth and popped a mint, just in case. You were out the door with a little more pep in your step than earlier that day.

You played music through the speakers of your car, cracking the windows and letting the warm air flow freely. It was nice feeling alive again, rather than just existing. The drive seemed longer that it should have been, but you blamed it on your nerves. When you pulled into the lot of his complex, you sat in your car, scared to get out. The confidence you’d had on the way over quickly diminished as you watched the entryway, remembering the last time you’d been there. You must have sat for ten minutes or more, working yourself up to go inside. Eventually, you climbed out of your car and sucked it up. Your heart drummed louder with every step you took, but you refused to let it break you.

When you reached his front door, you stared at the numbers labelling the white painted wood. You stared, hand raised and balled in a fist, ready to knock. “Come on, you coward.” You whispered to yourself.

The echo of the knock was the loudest one you’d ever heard. It screamed against the walls for an eternity before it fizzled away into nothing, like no sound was ever made. You waited in the silence, shifting your weight from one leg to another. You debated if you should knock again, wondering if he even heard it, or if he was home, or if he cared. “Come on, Sammy.” You whispered again, a prayer to the universe. Just as you were getting ready to retreat, to run away with your tail between your legs like a beaten down dog, you heard shuffling behind the door. An unexpected confidence shot through you, raising your hand to knock again. This one was louder, more urgent than the last.

Within seconds, the lock on the knob flipped. Your heart skipped a beat. “Josh, I told you I wasn’t coming-“ the voice stopped abruptly when the door fully opened. Sam was shirtless, just in a pair of sweatpants. He had bags under his eyes and his hair was thrown back in a bun.

“Hi, Sammy.” You breathed. You couldn’t read the look on his face. Either he was feeling nothing, or everything all at once. You gave a small smile, to which he barely noticed because he was too busy pulling you into his arms.

“I don’t care if you’re here to punch me in the face and tell me you never want to see me again. I’m just happy you’re okay.” His voice cracked as he spoke, holding onto you as if his life depended on it. You held on just the same, realizing in that moment how much you missed his comfort. Eventually, he reluctantly pulled away, getting a good look at your face and noticing that the bags under your eyes matched his. “Are you okay?” He said, searching your eyes for an answer.

“I am now.” You were telling the truth; all of the turmoil and pain from the past weeks meant nothing. He was in front of you, and he didn’t hate you. He didn’t want to fight, he just wanted to love you. “I’m so sorry, Sammy.” It was your turn to lose your composure, a frown encapsulating your lips.

“No, I’m the one who should be sorry.” He grabbed your hand and pulled you inside, shutting the door behind you. “I never should have said that stuff to you, y/n. That was really low of me. I know that there’s no way for you to choose between us, because you love us differently. I didn’t see it then, but I know it now.” You felt like the fog had lifted, the clarity he gave you in that statement was stronger than any apology he could spew out.

“It was never a matter of choosing either of you over the other. I just… I needed to go to who I thought needed me the most.”

“I know,” he sat down on his couch, pulling you along with him. You sat next to him, but close enough so your leg was touching him. You both sat facing each other, not wanting to miss a moment of the company. “You were right to leave. I would have understood if you never spoke to me again after that.” His hand lifted to your face, taking your cheek into his palm. You leaned into the feeling, eyes fluttering closed.

“I would never be able to stay away from you.” You whispered. “No matter how mad or upset I was, I never stopped loving you.” Sam wiped away a tear that fell with his thumb.

“Me, either.” He said it as if it were a promise. You smiled at the sound of the words. “He’s your best friend, he’s the reason I even get to know you like this in the first place. I never should have let jealousy get in the way of that.”

“He is, Sam. And he always will be. If anything is going to happen between us, you have to know that, and you have to be okay with it.” You expressed, making sure he understood what you were saying.

“I am, princess.” He leaned in, hesitating at the natural instinct. You lifted your hand to rest atop the one cupping your cheek. “Danny and I talked things out after everything happened. The air is crystal clear on that.” He said with a dramatic tone. A small giggle escaped you. “I should have trusted you from the beginning, like way back in the beginning.”

“Yeah, you were an asshole for no reason, both times.” His gaze fell slightly, breaking the eye contact. “But, I know you know that. I’m not going to sit here and berate you for it.”

“You deserve to,” he breathed a laugh through his nose. “Y/n, I genuinely can’t begin to explain how sorry I am, for everything.”

“I know, Sammy. Me, too. I never wanted to make you feel like you weren’t my whole world, because you are. So much so that I had to sleep on the couch since everything happened. It didn’t feel right sleeping in bed without you.” You admitted, a blush rising to your cheeks. He chuckled, moving his hand from your cheek into your hair, scratching your scalp gently. You hummed in response, eliciting a smile from him. He knew how much you loved when he did it.

“I did, too. If you couldn’t tell.” He was referring to the blanket and pillow balled up by the opposite arm of the sofa. “The clothes you dropped off are still on my bed with the key. Your toothbrush is still in the bathroom, and your shampoo is still in my shower. I couldn’t bring myself to move any of it.” He pulled you closer, resting his forehead on yours. You stayed silent, thoughts still swimming in your head.

“Were you embarrassed of me?” You couldn’t help but ask. “Is that why we never told anyone we were together?”

“What?” Sam asked, shocked at the question. “Of course not, baby. I actually thought you didn’t want to tell anyone.”

“I mean, I guess I didn’t at first. I was scared about Danny, and I kind of wanted to make sure we were going to last before we announced it, but I guess we just kind of fell into a routine.” You mumbled.

“I want nothing more than to show you off. There’s nothing about you that would ever make me ashamed. You’re the best girl I’ve ever met. You’re perfect, y/n.” His hand that rested in your hair moved down to the back of your neck. Your stomach erupted into butterflies. “I want you. I want to know you better than anyone else. I want to come home to you every day. I want to love you like you deserve to be loved for the rest of your life.” He whispered.

“I want that too.” You said, scooting impossibly closer to him. “Those days that I spent without you were the worst ones of my life. No matter where we go from here, you’ll always have a part of my heart.” Your hand reached out for his face now, your thumb trailing over his bottom lip and then over his jaw. You just wanted to be near him. You wanted the feeling of his skin on yours forever.

“I love you, and I’m so sorry. I promise I’ll never hurt you like that again. I’ll make up for it forever if I have to.” The two of you sat for a moment, fingers exploring each others skin, foreheads resting together.

“I love you, Sam. And I still want you, if you’ll have me.” You took a sharp inhale, overwhelmed with emotion. “I know you never wanted to hurt me. We were both hurting and we took it out on each other.”

“Be my girlfriend.” He rushed out. “Let me do it right this time. No hiding, no sneaking. I want to take you on dates, I want to show you off, and I want you to have your key to my place back. It was never something you had to give back to me. It always belonged to you. It always will.”

“I’d love that, Sammy.” You felt tears forming in your eyes again, but this time they were for something other than sadness. You were overjoyed. He pulled you into him, his lips finally meetings yours. It was like the universe felt right again; no fireworks or butterflies exploded, it was just right. His tongue danced over your bottom lip, begging for more. You wasted no time accepting, opening your mouth slightly for him.

He pulled you into his lap, holding you as if he’d never get the chance again. You arms wrapped around his neck, fingers dancing in the small locks of hair that had fallen from his bun. “I missed you so much.” He mumbled against your mouth, causing you to smile into him.

“I missed you, too.” you breathed, parting from him to get a better look at his face. His eyes were glistening with adoration, expression nothing short of relieved.

“Stay with me tonight. Tomorrow, let me take you for that breakfast I promised you.” He sounded like he was pleading with you, but he had no idea that you wanted nothing more. You nodded, pulling him in for another kiss.

He stood, still holding on to you, and carried you to his bedroom. With great gentleness he sat you down on the mattress. He moved some items off the bed, making more room for the both of you. Your eyes fell on the clothes you’d left neatly there after everything happened. He wasn’t lying, they were untouched, and the key still rested on top of them like a gruesome decoration. He picked up the little key and held it out to you. You took it, a grin plastering your lips. Holding it again made you feel like you’d finally found something you didn’t know was missing. You sat it on his bedside table, making sure not to lose it. Once he cleared the bed he got in, laying down beside you.

He pulled you into him, arms wrapping around you with a hint of desperation. Your lips found his again, more needy than the last time. His hand snaked under the hem of your t-shirt, landing on your side and appreciating the warmth of your body. Your hands found his hair, gently pulling out the elastic holding it back. He laughed against your lips as your fingers tangled in the roots. He made a move to lift your shirt but stopped himself, pulling back slightly. “Can I?”

“Yeah,” you sighed, letting him pull it over your head. You lifted your body up, allowing him to unclip your bra. He discarded both on the floor, not caring where they ended up. His mouth moved down your jaw, leaving soft kisses as he progressed down your neck. A quiet moan sounded through the room when he sucked over a particularly sensitive area. He moved, sitting up slightly and hooked his fingers into the waistband of your pants, pulling them and your underwear off at the same time.

He stopped completely once all of your clothes were gone. He took in a shaky breath, eyes scanning every inch of you that was exposed. If he hadn’t been looking at you with so much love, you might’ve been embarrassed. “You’re gorgeous.” He muttered to himself, moving his mouth back to your collarbone. He progressed further, moving to your breasts and pulling one of your nipples into his mouth. You involuntarily arched your back, completely submitting to the power he so easily held over you. His hand found your hip, holding in back down to the bed.

You were aching to be touched, realizing then you’d missed him way more than you imagined. Everything about him drove you crazy. He’d barely even taken your clothes off and you were willing to do whatever he asked. His hand that had been holding your hip trailed between your legs, exploring you as if he was trying to get to know you again. When his thumb ghosted over your clit, a whine fell from your mouth. “I know baby,” he whispered, fuelled solely by lust. “I just want to go slow with you. I want to appreciate you.” He explained. You nodded, eyes never leaving him. You and Sam had never really had ‘slow sex’, it was mostly rough and fast, desperate from days of not being able to touch each other. It was different, but certainly not bad.

His fingers slipped inside you, the suddenness causing you to buck your hips forward. He hummed softly, a smirk forming on his lips. He knew exactly what he was doing to you, and he was proud of it. He worked his fingers into you a few times, thumb brushing over your clit with ever pump. You were slowly turning into a mess beneath him, not caring about how desperate you were for him. When he pulled his hand away from you, you had to fight back a groan. He quickly made up for it, settling between your legs on his stomach and throwing your legs over his shoulders. His arms snaked under your thighs, pulling you down on his face. You gave a gasp of surprise, but he paid no mind to it.

He started slow, gentle with his tongue, just wanting to taste your arousal. After a moment, he picked up his speed, flicking his tongue over the bundle of nerves he’d been teasing just before. “Fuck Sammy,” you moaned, hands landing in his hair and pulling at it slightly. He hummed against you, pleased over hearing you say his name like that again. He worked away, fucking you with his tongue, holding your hips down on his face with his hands.

It didn’t take you long to reach your orgasm; you were teetering on the edge almost as soon as he started. He could tell, eager to get you there. His lips suctioned around your clit for a moment, causing you to grind your hips against him gently without even noticing. He let his tongue run over it a few times, causing a wave of pleasure to rush through you. He only had to work at you for a minute, though, your climax came hard and fast. He didn’t stop, riding you through your orgasm and eating you out as if he’d been starved of the feeling. When he pulled away from you, you missed the feeling, less so for the pleasure but solely because the intimacy was irresistible. You’d spent so long away from him that you never wanted him to stop touching you.

“Was that good, princess?” He asked, eyes clouded with lust.

“S’good, baby.” You breathed, pulling him up to kiss you. When you parted, he stood to take his pants off. You watched him intensely, making a move to the edge of the bed. You sat on the side, pulling him towards you. Just as you were going to take him in your mouth, he grabbed your cheeks in his hand and forced you to look up at him.

“Tonight’s about you,” he informed with a shake of his head. Instead of letting you go down on him, he leaned down and placed a sweet kiss on your lips. You had to stop yourself from swooning, watching him like he put the stars in the sky. And to you, he did. There was nobody like Sam. He was your world, your sun, and your moon. He was everything.

He gently took your legs in his hands, signalling for you to move back on the bed. You did so, and he swung your legs back atop the mattress. You settled, head nestled in the pillows that still somehow smelled like him even after being gone for so long. It smelled like home, familiar and warm. It was home, always welcoming and safe. He was home, you decided. He nestled back between your legs, searching your face for any sign of discomfort before he started anything else. He was met with a look full of love, warming his heart and settling his fear. He sat for a moment, knowing that just being this close to you was better than anything that could come after it.

“Please, fuck me, Sammy.” You pleaded, hand finding the back of his neck. “I need you so badly.” He closed his eyes in ecstasy at your words, wasting no time lining his cock up with your entrance and pushing into you, slowly. You both breathed a sigh of relief at the feeling.

“I missed you so much, baby.” He whispered, eyes looking nowhere but your face. You did the same, revelling in the moment and finally feeling that you were where you belonged. For the first time since you’d started seeing Sam, the sex was filled with love and coated with meaning. You weren’t fucking, this time. You were making love, apologizing for everything that had happened in the most intimate way possible. You both were seeing through each other, all outside facades long gone, knowing each other down to the very things that made your souls unique.

His pace was slow, but deep. He was having a hard time holding back, wanting you more than he ever had. Your noises of pleasure were driving him crazy, nicer to him than any music he’d ever heard. “Look so pretty when I fuck you, princess.” He moaned, picking up his speed.

“Harder, please.” You begged, needing more. He paused, pulling your legs up so your feet were over his shoulders. He pulled you closer to him by your thighs, slamming back into you. You let out a gasp, only fuelling him further. He only kept you in that position for a few minutes before he pulled away, sitting down on the bed. He didn’t give you any time to ask a question before he was leaning down and scooping you up in his arms.

He brought you down on his lap, moving to the edge of the bed. “You want it so bad, work for it.” He said, the cocky side of him coming back a bit. You lifted your hips, allowing him access to you again. He wasted no time burying himself in you, grabbing your ass and slamming you down on his cock. A guttural cry tore through you, pleasure and pain mixing together in a deadly combination. “That’s it, baby.” The noise clearly affected him greatly, causing him to lose his composure. He admired you while you rode him, making sure to memorize every expression that crossed your face. He let one of his hands come up to grab one of your breasts, pinching one of your nipples before pulling it into his mouth. Your hips stuttered, feeling a knot forming in your belly. He could tell you were getting close, him not far behind. “You gonna cum for me, princess?” He asked.

“Fuck, Sam!” You gasped, his hips pushing forward off the bed to meet you as his hand pulled you down on him again. The words served as a warning, letting him know you were dangerously close to the edge. He repeated the same action a few more times, and that was all you needed. You came hard, pleasure rushing through you and settling all over. All of your muscles were tensed, and your cunt clenched around him caused him to reach his climax, too. His cock twitched inside you, buried deeply and filling you with his release.

The finish was spectacular for both of you, leaving you incapacitated and holding on to Sam for dear life. Both of your bodies were sweaty, tired and sore. You wanted so badly to just curl up beside him in bed and go to sleep. Your body was yearning for it. He pulled out of you slowly, letting you stand on your own time. He helped you to the bathroom to get you cleaned up and led you straight back to bed. He lifted the comforter for you, allowing you to climb in. You wasted no time, immediately burying your head in the pillows again. He climbed in next to you, pulling your back to his chest.

His chin nuzzled into your shoulder, head resting gently on yours. “I love you, y/n.” He whispered after a while, pulling you impossibly closer to him.

“I love you, Sammy.” You sighed, finding his hand under the covers and intertwining your fingers with his. “I think I will for the rest of my life.”

“Me too,” he mumbled against your ear, giving it a small kiss. “I never want to be away from you again.”

“Me either.” You agreed, relaxing into his body heat. “I’m sorry for everything again, Sam.”

“I am, too, baby. I’m so sorry.” He squeezed your hand softly. “I’m so happy to have you back. My apartment didn’t feel right without you around.” You chuckled at his statement.

“I said the same thing to Danny, earlier. He was the one who kind of pushed me to come and see you. We made up earlier, too.”

“I’m so glad,” Sam pulled his head back, placing a few kisses on your shoulder. “You need him in your life, too.” Your chest warmed, finally feeling the worry fully subside. “So,” He started, voice laced with sleepiness. “I know we just made it official today or whatever, but uh, we’ve been doing this for a while. We’ve known each other for a long time, too, I guess. And I love you a lot, and I think you do too.”

“Of course, Sam.” You said, not sure where he was going with it.

“And we both really hate not being around each other, right?”

“Yes,” you laughed “get on with it.”

“Move in with me.” He rushed out. When you didn’t respond, anxiety bubbled in his stomach. “You don’t have to, obviously, I just would really like it if you did, I guess. I mean, if it’s too soon, I get it, but this place just feels more like home with you here, and I plan on being with you for, well, forever, and-“

“Of course I will.” You hummed, cutting him off from his rambling. “I think we both learned our lesson. We both know we want each other. It’s safe.” He let out a breath of relief.

“That’s good, because I’d really love to come home to you every day.” He admitted.

“I’d like that, too.” You let your eyes flutter closed. He did the same, excited to fall asleep with you by his side again. “You’re cute when you’re nervous.” You giggled, poking fun at him before sleep overtook you.

“I hate you.” He muttered, tone joking and filled with nothing but love.

“I love you.”

“I still hate you, but I suppose I love you, too.” You could feel him smiling just from his voice.

“Hate to love me, then?” You asked. He chuckled.

“Sure, princess, hate to love you.” Silence ensued over once more. “Goodnight, baby.”

“Goodnight, my love.” You whispered. You both fell asleep that night happier than you’d ever been.

.

the end

hope you enjoyed!! This mini series has been so much fun to write. Thank you for reading!

[mewpathy]

Its 4 am but im absolutely obsessed with the lore of my nextgen toh,,, mostly considering Luz and Hunter

You gots two heros of the Isles, both extremely powerful in their own right and both have made huge leaps and bounds in terms of human witch peace and culture sharing and other fields such as resourceful palsman wood harvesting and charting unexplored parts of the Titan- huge heros so ofc you think they're gonna be cool and so badass

But you meet them and theyre just,, some Lil Guys. Yeah theyre badass but Hunter hasn't left his lil creation zone in 2 days bc he's got a wonderful idea for a carving and Luz is right there beside him manically writing up a draft after shes been stuck in writing block for a week. Neither of them have spoken a word to each other.

Luz is a accredited bestselling author of fantasy and nonfantasy alike, being notable for exploring various new schools of magic and finding new plants to cultivate and protect,, shes one of the biggest supporters for others and is always there to perk someone up or give them a lending ear, even if theyre a stranger- but also shes running on three cups of coffee, has probably ingested ink, and still hisses at others.

Hunter is a phenomenal palsman carver and has been a massive help in finding other trees that are capable of being made into palsman, both ensuring longevity into both palsman and the original tree species theyre carved out of. He's also a killer Flyer Derby player and regularly kills the competition when he plays locally- he would be a reigning champion if he cared to actualy join a team. But also he still picks up any vaughly baby sized thing up with his mouth and has regular staring contests with Hooty. He has not won.

The two are a wonderful couple, being able to speak without saying anything, and are the reason the human and witch world mesh so well together.... but they are also just lil freaks. Lil guys. Impromptu musicals with 5 acts and a dramatic death or two is commonplace in their house and so is not talking to eachother for DAYS despite being in the same vicinity bc theyre hyperfocused on their separate things

Not even taking into the fact that their daughter gots ALL of their wackiness- Lunala had NO CHANCE,,

(Cute lil headcanon is that Luz can go for quick, productive bursts of manic energy/episodes, but she tires out quickly after getting something done, while Hunter can have a extended manic episode but get whatever hes hyperfocused on slower and sometimes gets out of his manic episode b4 he can finish it (Since I headcanon that Grimwalkers have generally less needs than say, the average human or witch. Two weeks for a human to starve, one to dehydrate could be a Grimwalkers month to starve, two to dehydrate to make an example),, usually Luz passing out snaps him out of his manic state and gets the two of them to bed,, or usually the couch bc he is NOT carrying her that far,, Lunala usually pips over and throws a blanket over the two if theyve passed out on the floor or the couch.)

[bite-sized-devil]

A cupcake for his cupcake 🧁

Happy birthday my beautiful Yan! Hope you have the best day darling, you deserve only the best things 🌻 💕 @crazyyanderefangirlfan

Beel has been planning this for months now, it shouldn't be this hard. Making cupcakes for your birthday sounded simple enough. Boy was he wrong! He thought he could get away with one trial run, but it had been such a disaster that he decided he'd need heaps more.

The cupcakes always turned out perfect, fluffy, moist, and with the perfect amount of frosting. It was him that was the problem, he always ends up demolishing them as soon as they were finished. He'd even tried making more so that he could eat some and then have some left for you. But the ones he made just for him ended up having the opposite affect, they were like a gate-way drug. He couldn't get enough of those little cake shaped bits of heaven.

Every dream he's had this month has involved cupcakes. The better ones also featured you; you as a cupcake, you eating cupcakes, you naked with cupcakes, you feeding him cupcakes. Honestly, if he were anyone else he would be sick to death of them. The closer it got to your birthday the more you featured in his cupcake fuelled dreams.

This is the day, FINALLY, your birthday. It needs to be perfect. He wants to see the look of pure pleasure on your beautiful face as you bite into the vanilla flavoured dessert. A foodgasim caused by food that he prepared. That's all he wants. That and any left over cupcakes you don't want, he'll definitely want those too.

So far everything is going off without a hitch. He's made enough cupcakes to fill in the heart shape he's creating. Not a single cupcake has been popped into his mouth, he made sure to fill up on food and snacks before he started. Now to do the frosting; he's chosen your favourite colours; blue, green and purple. They remind him of a cute mermaid he saw once while he was helping Levi clean barnacles off of Lotan. She wasn't nearly as cute as you though, his lovely, funny, gorgeous and charming sweetheart. No one could ever compare.

Almost finished, just one last part to finish.... Oops! He's squeezed the pipping bag to hard and it's exploded all over him. Some lands just above his lip and on reflex his tongue darts out to lick it into his mouth. As soon as his taste buds register the sweet taste his nostrils flare and his eyes go wide. More, need more he thinks to himself before ripping the piping bag open and bringing it to his mouth. Devouring every little bit he can.

Your POV:

You've been looking for the big guy all morning, kind of bummed that you didn't get to wake up in his strong arms. Maybe get some sweet good morning kisses, instead you rolled over to find a cute pink heart shaped post-it note, no doubt stolen from Asmo, that said "Happy Birthday Beautiful, I'll come find you shortly. Love you cupcake."

You pull out the note again as you think of it, swiping your thumb over the written out pet name he uses for you. It brings a sweet little smile to your lips, thinking about him trying to be as quiet as possible writing it out and placing it beside you as you slept. Ugh! Where is he? You NEED to kiss him.

Rounding the corner in the hallway you walk past the open door to the kitchen. You freeze in your tracks, glancing sideways you see your boyfriend stuffing his face with some sort of cake and a torn piping bag stuck to his shirt.

"Beel?" You say question softly. A hand coming up to stifle your giggles when you see him abruptly stop and turn towards you.

"Baby, I'm sorry. I ruined your surprise." His words come out a bit muffled because of the cake he's still eating but you hear the sorrow in his voice and the sadness in his eyes has you walking across the room towards him.

"It's ok!" You reassure him immediately. You pull the pipping bag off his shirt and let it fall to the ground. "What was the surprise? Because finding you in the kitchen like this is quite a surprise." You laugh while pressing your hand to the side of his face, trying to brighten his mood.

"Don't laugh.. I was making you some cupcakes for your birthday... And I, I got carried away when I accidentally tasted the frosting. I'm so sorry." Wrapping his arm around your waist he pulls you close so youry flush up against his solid chest. His big pink and violet eyes still so full of guilt, looking into yours.

"Aww pumpkin, don't look so sad. It's really the thought that counts to me." You caress his jaw before using your fingers to wipe some frosting off his top lip and bring it to your lips to taste.

"Ohh ... Mmmmmmhhhn." You can't help but moan a little at the taste, closing your eyes as you do, getting a little lost in the flavour. It's perfectly sweet with hints of vanilla, melting instantly on to your tongue.

Coming back from your little experience you open your eyes to find Beel smiling brightly down at you. He moves his big hands up your body to cup your face.

"You like it?" He's almost vibrating with happiness as he asks. You nodd enthusiastically up at him matching his bright smile with your own.

Leaning down he kisses you, taking your breath away with the sweetness of the frosting still lingering on his lips. You thread your fingers through his hair and tug, making him open wider letting you slide your tongue into his mouth. Swallowing all of his delicious groans.

His hands leave your face in favour of roaming your body, grabbing your ass with one hand and slipping under your shirt to rest a hand on your stomach with the other.

You squeal when he grabs your ass roughly, and he takes that opportunity to claim your jaw and neck for his own. Kissing sweetly down your jaw, then sucking and nipping at your neck. Your breathy moans turn to needy whines when the hand that was on your stomach slips under your bra and rolls your hardened nipple between his fingers.

"Beeeeeeeel." You whine between pants.

"Yeah, Cupcake? You need something?" He asks between kisses, his voice is low and laced with desire.

"You, please... I neeeeed you." You whine again and he answers with a growl. You're pressed so close to him you can feel it vibrating through his chest.

He picks you up with out warning and throws you over his shoulder with ease. You squeal his name when he smacks you on the ass while he walks to the door.

"Calm down cupcake. We're going back to your room so I can show you what else I've got planned for your birthday."

Botched cupcake making completely forgotten, he's got other plans for you now, much funer plans that involve two people. And then later he can give your the charm necklace he had made for you.

A delicate gold chain with a cupcake pendant that is bewitched to change colour to match your different outfits. He has had it engraved on the back: "Yours for all eternity - Beel"

I rather enjoying being your ☠️ anon! I'm sorry its over but I'm glad I got to spoil you a little for your birthday 😘💕🎉

[crazyyanderefangirlfan]

Happy birthday lovely 🎈🎊

Here is the little fic I wrote for your birthday ☺️ hope you like it and I REALLY hope you have the best day! 💕💕

Beel has been planning this for months now, it shouldn't be this hard. Making cupcakes for your birthday sounded simple enough. Boy was he wrong! He thought he could get away with one trial run, but it had been such a disaster that he decided he'd need heaps more.

~

The cupcakes always turned out perfect, fluffy, moist, and with the perfect amount of frosting. It was him that was the problem, he always ends up demolishing them as soon as they were finished. He'd even tried making more so that he could eat some and then have some left for you. But the ones he made just for him ended up having the opposite affect, they were like a gate-way drug. He couldn't get enough of those little cake shaped bits of heaven.

~

Every dream he's had this month has involved cupcakes. The better ones also featured you; you as a cupcake, you eating cupcakes, you naked with cupcakes, you feeding him cupcakes. Honestly, if he were anyone else he would be sick to death of them. The closer it got to your birthday the more you featured in his cupcake fuelled dreams.

~

This is the day, FINALLY, your birthday. It needs to be perfect. He wants to see the look of pure pleasure on your beautiful face as you bite into the vanilla flavoured dessert. A foodgasim caused by food that he prepared. That's all he wants. That and any left over cupcakes you don't want, he'll definitely want those too.

~

So far everything is going off without a hitch. He's made enough cupcakes to fill in the heart shape he's creating. Not a single cupcake has been popped into his mouth, he made sure to fill up on food and snacks before he started. Now to do the frosting; he's chosen your favourite colours; blue, green and purple. They remind him of a cute mermaid he saw once while he was helping Levi clean barnacles off of Lotan. She wasn't nearly as cute as you though, his lovely, funny, gorgeous and charming sweetheart. No one could ever compare.

~

Almost finished, just one last part to finish.... Oops! He's squeezed the pipping bag to hard and it's exploded all over him. Some lands just above his lip and on reflex his tongue darts out to lick it into his mouth. As soon as his taste buds register the sweet taste his nostrils flare and his eyes go wide. More, need more he thinks to himself before ripping the piping bag open and bringing it to his mouth. Devouring every little bit he can.

~

Your POV:

~

You've been looking for the big guy all morning, kind of bummed that you didn't get to wake up in his strong arms. Maybe get some sweet good morning kisses, instead you rolled over to find a cute pink heart shaped post-it note, no doubt stolen from Asmo, that said "Happy Birthday Beautiful, I'll come find you shortly. Love you cupcake."

You pull out the note again as you think of it, swiping your thumb over the written out pet name he uses for you. It brings a sweet little smile to your lips, thinking about him trying to be as quiet as possible writing it out and placing it beside you as you slept. Ugh! Where is he? You NEED to kiss him.

~

Rounding the corner in the hallway you walk past the open door to the kitchen. You freeze in your tracks, glancing sideways you see your boyfriend stuffing his face with some sort of cake and a torn piping bag stuck to his shirt.

~

"Beel?" You question softly. A hand coming up to stifle your giggles when you see him abruptly stop and turn towards you.

~

"Baby, I'm sorry. I ruined your surprise." His words come out a bit muffled because of the cake he's still eating but you hear the sorrow in his voice and the sadness in his eyes has you walking across the room towards him.

"It's ok!" You reassure him immediately. You pull the pipping bag off his shirt and let it fall to the ground. "What was the surprise? Because finding you in the kitchen like this is quite a surprise." You laugh while pressing your hand to the side of his face, trying to brighten his mood.

~

"Don't laugh.. I was making you some cupcakes for your birthday... And I, I got carried away when I accidentally tasted the frosting. I'm so sorry." Wrapping his arm around your waist he pulls you close so youry flush up against his solid chest. His big pink and violet eyes still so full of guilt, looking into yours.

~

"Aww pumpkin, don't look so sad. It's really the thought that counts to me." You caress his jaw before using your fingers to wipe some frosting off his top lip and bring it to your lips to taste.

~

"Ohh ... Mmmmmmhhhn." You can't help but moan a little at the taste, closing your eyes as you do, getting a little lost in the flavour. It's perfectly sweet with hints of vanilla, melting instantly on to your tongue. Coming back from your little experience you open your eyes to find Beel smiling brightly down at you. He moves his big hands up your body to cup your face.

~

"You like it?" He's almost vibrating with happiness as he asks. You nodd enthusiastically up at him matching his bright smile with your own.

~

Leaning down he kisses you, taking your breath away with the sweetness of the frosting still lingering on his lips. You thread your fingers through his hair and tug, making him open wider letting you slide your tongue into his mouth. Swallowing all of his delicious groans.

~

His hands leave your face in favour of roaming your body, grabbing your ass with one hand and slipping under your shirt to rest a hand on your stomach with the other.

~

You squeal when he grabs your ass roughly, and he takes that opportunity to claim your jaw and neck for his own. Kissing sweetly down your jaw, then sucking and nipping at your neck. Your breathy moans turn to needy whines when the hand that was on your stomach slips under your bra and rolls your hardened nipple between his fingers.

~

"Beeeeeeeel." You whine between pants.

~

"Yeah, Cupcake? You need something?" He asks between kisses, his voice is low and laced with desire.

~

"You, please... I neeeeed you." You whine again and he answers with a growl. You're pressed so close to him you can feel it vibrating through his chest.

~

He picks you up with out warning and throws you over his shoulder with ease. You squeal his name when he smacks you on the ass while he walks to the door.

"Calm down cupcake. We're going back to your room so I can show you what else I've got planned for your birthday."

~

Botched cupcake making completely forgotten, he's got other plans for you now, much funer plans that involve two people.

~

And then later he can give your the charm necklace he had made for you. A delicate gold chain with a cupcake pendant that is bewitched to change colour to match your different outfits. He has had it engraved on the back: "Yours for all eternity - Beel"

-☠️

I’m screaming, I’m crying. This was amazing! Beel your the most amazing demon ever! The smut in the end 😳

@blackwings-with-angeleyes-deact if this you I love you so much

[wisheduponastar]

Not like pipeweed after all (Gen, 4.5k)

For Day 5 of @tolkienfamilyweek. Prompt : Found Family

Pippin has run out of long-bottom leaf, and it turns out so has Merry. They try and persuade Strider to find some for them, and he does. It turns out, however, this substitute isn’t exactly what they have in mind - their pipeweed isn’t normally this strong. Luckily, they’re around friends - and Boromir is here for them.

Or~ Pippin & Merry accidentally get high, but Boromir is there for them - and has to put up with shenanigans.

Read on Ao3

Ah, so it's not explicitly found family, but tell me they're not brothers-

He had packed far too lightly for this trip, Pippin reflected as he hoisted his pack further up his shoulders. Not that it, in any way, stopped his pack from being much too heavy. Now it was just filled with food, and things for everyone - rather than just for him. What he wouldn’t give to go back to his younger self. Well, younger self was slightly rich - it had been only about three months since he left the shire, three months and a bit.

He hadn’t been counting, especially as days in Rivendell seemed to move so unusually. Sam would almost certainly know, however, if Pippin were to ask him. But the main thing was what Pippin would say to his younger self. He wouldn’t tell him not to go on the quest - for it was going fairly well so far.

Pippin broke off his thoughts for a few seconds, simply looking around. Strider, well, Aragorn, was at the front of the group and in conversation with Gandalf. Also in front of him was Merry, who was currently talking to Boromir - captain of Gondor. And heir to… the stewardship of it? Merry and Pippin had asked Boromir about it once, but he wasn’t very willing to answer - which was rather unusual, as he normally talkative when talking about his hometown. Home city. Gondor was too big to be called a town, apparently.

Turning on his heel as he walked, Pippin spun round to observe who was behind him. Immediately behind Pippin and joining him in the, if he did say so himself, rather respectable, middle were Frodo and Sam - both walking and talking rather cheerfully. Then was Gimli, and then Legolas. Both looked as if they wanted to guard the rear, but neither wanted to be walking exactly next to each other - the awkward two-step inbetween them their compromise.

Grinning slightly, Pippin turned around again, jogging a small amount to catch up to Boromir and Merry.

“Merry, you can’t just leave me!” He cried, grinning and waving slightly as he made pace with the two of them.

Breaking off from the conversation, Merry titled his head to look behind him, “Maybe you shouldn’t be so slow, eh Pip?”

“My pack’s heavier,” Pippin defended, although he was unsure of whether it was true. They had been given almost the same amount of things, so it really depended on what his fellow hobbit had packed.

“I wish my pack was heavier,” said Merry, suddenly mood-swinging to somewhat forlorn, and wistful.

Boromir looked down, slight concern in his eyes, “How so? I assure you we have enough food to last all of us this journey.”

“Oh no, nothing like that,” and with just those words most of Merry’s more cheerful attitude was back, “It’s just, I’ve smoked the last of my longbottom leaf - my pack just doesn’t feel the same without it.”

He broke off briefly from his mourning, and looked up at the sky, “I wish I’d brought more of it, or re-stocked at Rivendell.”

“I don’t think the elves are big on smoking,” observed Pippin, “But yes, if I could go back and tell younger me one thing - it would be to pack more longbottom leaf.”

“Truly?” Boromir laughed as he asked, surprised at how simple a hobbit's desire could be, but also with some good-natured envy. To have such little regrets about leaving, that the main thing you’d change was how much leaf you packed.

“See, Boromir,” Merry looked up, “You wouldn’t have any longbottom leaf, would you?”

Boromir shook his head, “No, but I am not completely sure what it is.”

“Here,” Pippin said, rummaging around the various add-ons to his bag, and finding the pot he stored his pipeweed in. Carefully, Pippi reached in and took the smallest amount he could - still enough for a smoke, but not enough for anything more. Holding it aloft, he gestured to Boromir, “This is longbottom leaf. Proper good stuff, it is.”

Boromir peered at it for a second, before recognition sparked in his eyes, “Ah. We call it sweet galenas.”

“D’you smoke it?”

“Not that I am aware,” was the honest answer, as Boromir did not engage in too much smoking or drinking, especially not of late, “It is only noted for its sweet fragrance.”

Merry looked slightly crestfallen, “So there isn’t much hope you’ll have any on you?”

“I am afraid not,” Boromir seemed to muse over the problems for a second, “Although Aragorn has a pipe, does he not? He may have some, or at least something similar.”

“You, Boromir, are a genius!” Declared Merry, a grin already on his face - eager to speed away and ask.

“Yes, a credit to all of Gondor,” tacked on Pippin who, although still having some pipeweed left, sped off with even more urgency than Merry - the two briefly leaving Boromir alone to smile after them and walk slightly faster, waiting for them to return.

“Aragorn! Aragorn!” Was the chorus that came from the two of them, causing the ranger to turn round and stare - conversation with Gandalf broken off. Merry had the decency to avert his eyes and look sheepish, however Pippin did not - until Merry nudged him worriedly.

“Ow- Merry,” he started, before cutting himself off and looking down slightly, “Ah, Gandalf. We didn’t mean to interrupt your conversation.”

There was good intention in Pippin’s words, before his eyes suddenly lit up with a new idea, “Say - Gandalf, you don’t have any pipeweed, do you? See me and Merry have almost finished-”

“Merry, don’t nudge me that hard!”

“Pip. We’re trying to be polite, charming,” Merry looked sideways, then back at Pippin again, “We’re trying to charm Gandalf and Strider into giving up their pipeweed, not whatever you’re doing!”

“Ah - so that it was you are after,” there was no accusation in Aragorn’s voice, just lightheartedness, “Well, I am sorry my friends - but I have no more left at the moment. I dropped the last of my Southlinch when we were ambushed by crebain.”

“Southlinch?” Questioned Merry curiously.

“A type of pipeweed, grown in Bree,” supplied Aragorn, a warmer smile, “Have the two of you none left?”

“I have a little…” confessed Pippin, “But I want to save it for a special occasion, one of our great victories. Or maybe a horrific tragedy of some kind.”

“Horrific tragedy?” Echoed Gandalf disapprovingly, “Do not think so darkly, Peregrin Took!”

While the small scolding took place, in which Pippin did have the decency to look immediately down this time, Aragorn seemed to be thinking and observing the situation around him. There were a few moments of silence as they walked, Aragorn staring at the plant life before eventually he spoke, “You know, Master Brandybuck, I may be able to find something similar to pipeweed. If you are interested?”

“Of course!” Was the immediate answer from both hobbits, at the same time. Another chuckle came from Aragorn, and he nodded, “We are on the lookout for a plant called wild dagga, or leonurus. It can be from your to my height, and has a dark green stem with bright orange flower-like parts to it. Should you see something like that, alert me.”

Nodding, and promising reassurances, the hobbits smiled and chattered among themselves before retreating quietly back to Boromir.

“Good news my friend, I assume?” Boromir questioned as they went back, taking note of their large grins.

“Oh yes!” Answered Merry, “I’ve found a way to get us some more pipeweed. Or something close to it, at least. We’re looking out for a plant, it can be from my to your height, and it’s orange.”

“Anything else?” Boromir asked with sincerity, quickly scanning the surroundings to see if a plant like that would immediately appear.

“I don’t think so,” Merry trailed off for a second, looking to his friend, “That was it, wasn’t it Pippin?”

“I’m fairly certain,” was the confident response, “Shouldn’t be too hard, there aren’t that many orange flowers near here, are there?”

“I haven’t seen any,” supplied Boromir, the closest any of them could get to confirmation. Together, the three continued to talk for a bit about various herbs, and then their surroundings - which inevitably led to talk of the shire, which in turn prompted talk of Gondor. Eventually, Pippin looked up and asked, “Boromir, do you smoke often?”

“Not often, no,” Boromir answered, “It is harder to get than most ales, if I should have the opportunity to smoke or drink.”

“I suppose being a lord-”

“Steward,” Boromir corrected quickly, then looked apologetic, “I am sorry, please go on Pippin.”

“No problems,” was the cheerful answer, “But I suppose being a steward you wouldn’t drink much, would you?”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Boromir decided to be frank, “I probably drank as much as the next person in my guard, probably slightly less. We had responsibility, so we almost certainly drank less than hobbits.”

Merry and Pippin exchanged annoyed glances, then Merry spoke up, “We didn’t drink that much. Besides, I didn’t know you could get ale in a pint before I left the shire.”

“Well, if you take into account your body size compared to mine,” began Boromir, before stopping that train of thought and instead contributing, “Well, I have certainly smoked less.”

“Only because you didn’t have as good leaf,” Pippin responded, in a somewhat sympathetic way. “Don’t worry, we’ll teach you the art of the pipe, won’t we Merry?”

“Oh yes,” there was pride in Merry’s voice, “D’you know, us hobbits were the first to put pipeweed in pipes?”

“Truly?” Asked Boromir, “You hobbits never cease to surprise, I’ll give you that much.”

“Thank you!” Merry said, making eye-contact with Boromir - and genuinely smiling. The two hobbits exchanged grins under the man’s gaze, a large grin spreading almost ear to ear - both of their faces mimicking each other.

Then they fell back into the easy rhythm of talking about whatever caught their fancy. When Pippin started the conversation, it was to complain about the long roads - which led onto discussions of horses and various modes of transportation (for a few minutes there was heated debate between Merry and Pippin as to whether Boromir would be able to ride a Shire pony or not). Eventually Merry had butted in, instead beginning a talk about the mayor of Shire, and then its various laws - and then the Gondor legal system (which, to be fair, was mainly the hobbits listing progressively more obscure actions before asking if they were legal).

When it was Boromir’s turn to start the conversation, it would also usually be about the Shire - or about hobbit life in general. He was more curious about their general lives, and the peace of the Shire, just how different it was to Gondor. At one their conversation started on where Boromir should stay, if he ever visited the Shire. Well, he said ‘if’, Merry and Pippin said ‘when’. It was during their conversation that the plant was spotted.

“Lobelia’s got a rather large ceiling, hasn’t she Merry,” observed Pippin, “D’you think she’d let Boromir stay at hers?”

“Pippin, are you suggesting we inflict Lobelia on Boromir?” Was the retort, “We want him to like the Shire, not- oh wait, I think I see the plant!”

Both of his companions' heads turned to see where his gaze was following. About ten or so metres away was a patch of the plant. Wild dagga, Pippin was pretty sure. This variety was taller than him, but shorter than Boromir - coming away at about the five foot mark. Overly large for a plant, Pippin decided, especially if it wasn’t even a tree.

“D’you think it’s the right thing, Boromir?” Asked Pippin, looking up briefly as he spoke before returning to stare at the plant.

“Herblore is not my expertise,” was the start of the answer, but Boromir smiled, “However it does look like what you described. I doubt there would be any harm in asking if they are the correct plants.”

“They look like the dagga to me,” contributed Merry, “Wait here - I’ll ask Aragorn!”

With that, Merry sped up again - a short and sudden burst of speed, before it quickly descended into a jog - damn this backpack. Still trying to catch up, the ranger and the wizard had walked awfully far ahead, Merry instead called out, “Wait! We think we’ve found the wild…” his mind briefly drew a blank as to what it was called, “The plant you were talking about!”

This seemed to catch Aragorn’s attention, for he nodded briefly to Gandalf and then began to walk back towards the hobbits, “So, my friends, you say you’ve found some?”

“Yes, over there!” Merry pointed out the blooming orange stalks, smiling, “That is the plant you wanted, right?”

“It is, that is very well observed master hobbit.” With thanks, and a promise to share it out equally among all who wanted it, Aragorn traversed off-the-path a little, going up to the plants and taking off the leaves and flowers.

“Will you try some Boromir?” Questioned Pippin, looking up at the man as they began walking.

Boromir seemed to consider it a second, “I am not sure. You should try some first, I will trust your judgement.”

“Really?” Asked Merry, before blushing slightly and looking at the path in front, “I mean, of course. We are experts on pipeweed, aren’t we Pip?”

“Aye Merry, that we are, that we are,” Pippin nodded on this point, in almost an imitation of Gandalf. Slightly less wise, but the spirit of all-knowing was there. Enough to make Boromir smile and laugh to himself, and make Merry laugh outright - immediately teasing his companion.

The lighter mood continued throughout the day with no further interruptions, except Boromir managing to spot another two patches of wild dagga. It was nice for Boromir to see the flower before them, because he could look down as he announced it. See right when their excitable grins appeared on their faces, and watch as they exchanged a glance then looked up at him, thanking him. Then run off to pester Aragorn about more of the stuff being found.

Eventually, they could see Aragorn and Frodo (for the marching order was prone to change throughout the day) stopping up ahead of them. Frodo setting his pack on the floor, and sitting down with some relief. Aragorn busy taking sticks from the surroundings and striking his tinderbox. Pippin didn’t even try to disguise the large smile that came upon his face, “Are we stopping for the night?”

“Yes, we are almost at Caradhras, I want us to be rested for it.”

“Sounds good to me,” Pippin said, looking at Merry, “Where d’you want to set up camp, Merry?”

“Probably near the fire,” Merry responded, briefly looking to Boromir for approval, which the man gave by nodding. He was, in some ways, touched that the hobbits thought highly enough of him to ask him questions. Even if it was only where to set up their bedrolls.

Looking around, Boromir shed the pack he was carrying and set it down beside his feet, also dropping the shield for the time being. His sword he kept on him at all times. Not just because he did not trust the wilderness of Middle Earth, but also because he didn’t trust Merry and Pippin. He’d let them use training swords, and then when he’d left his sword for a second to fetch a sharpening stone - he’d come back to find Merry holding it. That had given him much more of a fright than he was ever prepared to admit.

“So, Aragorn, how exactly is it you use this plant then?” Merry eventually spoke up, for it was Aragorn who still had all the plants. “I assume you still smoke it, like you do pipeweed?”

“Yes, I am just drying it out now,” Aragorn nodded to the fire, which had a number of smaller twigs over it - leaves and flowers skewered to them, and drying out. “It will not be a very sophisticated process, but we rangers have used it often enough.”

“The…” Merry struggled to find the word for a second, “The rangers smoke this often?” “When you are in the wilderness for months at a time, yes. Although sometimes pipeweed will grow in the wild, and we’ll use that instead.”

“Pipeweed grows in the wild?” Merry said indignantly, “We could’ve kept an eye out for that.”

“I have only ever seen it grow in the wilds near Gondor,” explained Aragorn, inclining his head slightly towards Boromir, “And even then, only near the city.”

“I still can’t believe you’d never thought to smoke it,” said Pippin, now also looking at Boromir.

“I imagine some would have,” admitted Boromir, “But the discovery of some new novelty to smoke was not exactly news one would share with your captain.”

“Why not?” Asked Pippin, rather sincerely.

Boromir simply shook his head and laughed a little, “Let me say… our worlds work very differently Pippin.”

“Suit yourself,” Pippin briefly smiled again, before turning to Aragorn again, “So, how long until we can use it?”

“About ten minutes or so. It still needs to dry out.”

“What needs to dry out?” Legolas had finally arrived, and was somewhat putting down his belongings, while simultaneously looking like he could run off now and be fine for the next couple of days. Actually, Boromir reflected, he probably could. Elves needed less sustenance, and Legolas’s bow and quiver were still on his back, so he could’ve made it. Boromir was fairly certain, however, that the elf would not suddenly abandon them.

“The wild dagga,” Merry answered, looking to Aragorn briefly for confirmation, “Me and Pippin have run out of longbottom leaf, so we’re going to try and smoke that instead.”

The elf wrinkled his nose slightly at that, “I have never understood smoking, surely it cannot taste nice?”

“It’s not really the taste,” Pippin tried to explain, “It’s the experience, the feeling. And it isn’t that bad!”

“Maybe not for hobbits,” conceded Legolas, “But for elves, the smell is most unpleasant.”

“Oh. Does us doing,” Merry gestured vaguely, pipe now in his hands, “It… does it bother you?”

“Not very, it is much more bearable in open air, besides,” Legolas glanced at Gandalf, “I have grown more used to it. A certain… visitor is rather fond of pipeweed.”

All of the hobbits laughed at that, with Merry observing almost out-loud, “And to think hobbits have been doing something longer than wizards. Although I daresay you’ll be better at it than us by now.”

There was a second as Gandalf deliberately avoided eye-contact, in a somewhat modest way, before breaking out in a smile and acknowledging it - sending a smoke ring that soon morphed into the shape of a star shooting around them.

“Well, we can do it best without using magic, ay Merry?” Said Pippin, nudging Merry conspicuously with a grin. “Aragorn, is the… whatever you called it ready?”

“Patience, Master Took,” was Aragorn’s immediate response, but he lent over the fire and then smiled, “But as luck would have it - they are. Do you wish to smoke them?”

“Do I wish to smoke them?” Echoed Merry, somewhat sarcastic - somewhat indignant. “Anything we need to know before we start?”

“It has always behaved like normal pipeweed for me,” answered Aragorn, “So I would say no.”

With the expertise of a knowledgeable smoker, Merry leaned over slightly to the now dried leaves - quickly getting out his pipe as well and busying himself by lighting it (and trying to take what he presumed to be the better leaf from Pippin).

“So, Pippin, Merry, is it good?” Asked Boromir after they’d let out a few smoke rings, still holding true to his thought that he would try some - if they deemed it appropriate.

Turning his whole head, even though Boromir was sitting almost directly next to him, Pippin looked up to the taller man, “Hmmm… I don’t know Merry, but I’d say so?”

There was a very thoughtful frown on Merry’s face, that suddenly split into a large grin, “Yes Pip. Without a doubt. Here Boromir, try mine.”

Merry smiled again, then held out the pipe to someone who was decidedly not Boromir - but instead Legolas. There was a second as the elf sat there, waiting for the hobbit to correct his mistake, before Legolas politely coughed, eyes gazing instead to where Boromir was sitting.

“Boromir!” Merry exclaimed suddenly, almost throwing down the pipe and (finally) held it in the direction of the man he intended, “You looked so pretty as a blond…”

There was now a forlorn tone in Merry’s voice, and his eyes became ever so slightly glassy - although Boromir was fairly certain this wasn’t because of Boromir not, in fact, being blond.

“I… I have never been blond Merry,” he gently corrected, frowning at the hobbit’s state of mind.

“No, you were just then!” It was remarkable how determined Merry could be, “When you were pretending to be Legolas. You’re a beautiful blond Boromir.”

Pippin gave a non-committal, although positive hum, nodding along to all of Merry’s words sagely, an image that was slightly ruined by the fact he was staring simply at the sky. Pippin then looked down slightly, at Boromir again, and opened his mouth - to say nothing for a few seconds, before hazily mumbling “D’you agree?”

“Agree? With what?” There was a gentleness in Boromir’s voice, as well as poorly disguised concern, “Tell me again.”

“So,” Pippin began, “It’s essentially just…”

There was a second as he trailed off again, instead just staring at the ground, “That… probably sums it up. I’m sorry, is that still confusing?”

“No, not at all,” Boromir was probably over-enunciating his words now, unsure if the hobbits could register them, “You should probably put down the pipes now, and go to sleep.”

“How’re we suppose to go to Mordor if we sleep?” Questioned Merry, although he almost rolled off the log - now lying on the floor, “Didn’t think of that - did you Boromir?”

Pippin snickered slightly, “Merry, you’re sleeping on the floor.”

“Am I?”

“Yes. You shouldn’t be sleeping on the floor - very bad for your spine.”

“Is it really?” Merry asked genuinely, looking up for someone again, “An… adult, who isn’t me, is this true?”

“You do need to sleep on a bedroll, Merry,” Boromir explained, guiding the hobbit up and getting his pack out for him (stubbornly ignoring the fact Merry was now simply lying on his feet). “Here, lie on this.”

“You’re so nice Boromir,” Merry said, sitting down onto the bedroll,

“Merry look. We’re not sleeping on the ground now, are we?”

“I’m not Merry. You’re Merry.”

“No, I’m Meriadoc. I don’t do nicknames Pip.”

“You just did.”

“No, your name’s just Pip. We didn’t tell you, thought it’d make you sad.”

“That’s not true!” Pippin exclaimed, with almost genuine (although certainly high-infused) uncertainty.

“Yes it is, isn’t it…” Merry looked around, eyes falling on Boromir again, “It’s true isn't it Boromir. You’ll know.” He turned to Pippin again, “Boromir’s very knowledgeable about your name.”

Shaking his head, Boromir decided to try and ignore the conversation, instead turning, with a growing mixture of concern and anger, to Aragorn, “Aragorn, what did you give them?”

“Wild dagga - my friend,” was the honest response, not helped by the fact it sounded like the ranger was trying not to laugh, “I had no idea it would affect the hobbits like this - I thought they would react to it like pipeweed!”

“And yet they are,” Boromir looked again at the hobbits, who had sat up and were talking in very hushed voices, “Frodo, this is not normal, is it?”

“No,” Frodo answered, still looking at Pippin, “Although they’ve behaved like this before - but usually after having a lot more pipeweed - or drinking more than they should.”

“It will probably be over by morning, Boromir sir,” spoke up Sam, looking in concern at the two younger hobbits. “I can watch over them, maybe make them something.”

“I will watch over them Sam, do not worry,” something in Boromir made him reluctant to go to sleep, especially when Merry and Pippin were vulnerable, but he smiled tightly, “Although they would probably benefit from something to eat.”

“Of course” for a while there was busying around the camp as people dug through their packs, contributing various things to make a stew out of. Boromir would have helped more, but he did have his work cut out for him. While being affected - the hobbits seemed to have developed a fascination with fire, along with a startling lack of self-preservation.

Boromir would have possibly cut more firewood, or stoked it when it was down - but trying to hold Pippin down while still being gentle (so he could not pick up one of the flaming logs) was a task that required more attention, and was probably more important.

“Merry, Pippin, let us sit over there,” Boromir glanced left into the clearing, “It will be better for your…”

“Eyes?” Suggested Merry, still smiling slightly and getting up, “C’mon Pip. We’re not going to Mordor anymore, we’re going over there.”

“My name isn’t Pip. It’s Peregrin,” Pippin protested, although both of them followed Boromir over. There was at least one issue solved - the hobbits could no longer launch themselves directly in the fire.

“Do you have a second name, Boromir?” For some reason, Merry had phrased it as more of a statement than a question, but he answered anyway.

“Of course I do-”

“What is it?”

“I think you look like a… Varno,” decided Pippin, after several long seconds of looking into Boromir’s eyes.

“Oh yes - I can see that!” Chimed in Merry, “That is your name, isn’t it Boromir?”

“No, it is not,” said Boromir, with all the patience that he could muster at the time.

“Well it should be!” The statement was said with such clarity, that for a second Boromir seriously considered its merits - before shaking his head and sighing.

“Boromir, your food,” it was Aragorn - standing next to him with three wooden bowls of stew, a soft smile on his face as he looked at the hobbits. “Will you be eating with us?”

“I am afraid they will still try to launch themselves into the fire,” Boromir admitted, casting a glance backwards. The two of them had begun laughing now, a high and carefree one - one that seemed infectious. “We will eat over here.”

“You are sure, my friend?”

“Yes it will be…” There was another glance backwards, “I am sure it will be fine.”

“We’re very responsible Strider, sir” added Pippin, who frowned as Merry suddenly began to laugh.

“Merry - I am.”

“No you’re not - neither of us are!”

“Oh,” the thought struck Pippin, and suddenly he laughed a little as well, “No - we aren’t.”

The rest of the night was just as chaotic - but in most ways Boromir did not mind. There was something nice about the two hobbits like these - even if it was just because of how much they smiled, or how much more affectionate they were. And if Pippin had insisted on a story to go to sleep, well that was his business - and Boromir was sure Pippin wouldn’t remember Boromir telling him one anyway.

[newts-and-sharks]

ok, so i decided to post what i had for modern noodles here, its unfinished and kinda cliff hangs, but im not really feeling up to finishing this :/

starts under cut :P

Well, this was…unexpected.

One second, you were just sipping on some water, enjoying the beautiful scenery that was your backyard that you had put so much blood, sweat, and tears into. Quite literally, too. It was a long and very painful process to get your yard into the pristine condition it’s in.

Or it was in.

Before some sort of meteor crash landed into the yard in a fiery blaze, leaving a good sized crater in the middle of it.

Now, here you are, trying to put out a multitude of white glittery flames that had made their homes in the willow tree and among the grass with only the old, dusty gardening hose you had. 

Great.

Not like you spent months, almost a year, making this yard the best looking damn yard on this whole shit show of a planet. Not like you have spent well over a reasonable amount of money on this small sliver of land. Not like you didn't toil tirelessly for months on end, landscaping under the sun, only for it to become carved out and set ablaze by this mystery aerial projectile.

Well, to be fair, it has been set on fire once or twice in the past, but that was because you had accidentally walked in on the pygmy drakes that had made their home under your shed. You’ve tried removing them, but that turned out not so well, so now you have some story time scars and new scaly neighbors that you feed from time to time.

But you have never seen fire like this. Usually fire is a shade of yellow, orange, or red. This fire was a platinum white, emitting yellow and blue smoke that would fade into the darkening night sky. Definitely strange, and definitely required some research later, but right now you have to get this fire out.

You were spraying furiously at the flames, and soon all of the flames had died down. You breathed heavily, the adrenaline still coursing through your veins as your hands shakily put the hose down and glared at the damage.

Well, the wyvern nest in the willow tree was safe at least. The tree was the first thing you saved from the flames, specifically because those wyvern eggs still had yet to hatch. Plus, that tree was still fairly young, and you were planning on having it around for a few more years at least.

A few branches were understandably burnt, some more than others- but that just meant you had to prune away the dead ends. Not too bad. The lawn however, had bald spots here and there, not to mention the large crater right in the middle. The pond was fine, it didn't look like it took any damage. But you could say goodbye to the Begonia, Lily of the Valley, and Dahlia flowers.

You sprinted over and salvaged as many bulbs as you could, and tried to find a few pips from the Lily of the Valley. You swiftly deposit them in a nearby bucket, and make a mental note to rip the charred and damaged flowers and stems from the ground sometime tomorrow.

You turn back around to deal with the crater in the center of your yard. The impact had sprayed dirt everywhere, as well as sent a few good sized rocks through the fence. You walk over to the dent in the ground, sighing in exasperation, only to jump when you see what was in the crater.

You quickly run to the shed, swinging the door open, ignoring the hissing drakes, grabbing your trusty shovel (and narrowly avoiding a bite from a particularly grumpy drake), and sprint back to the hole.

Brandishing the shovel, you experimentally and slowly dip the shovel inside and give a quick jab, pulling back just as quickly. The lump of…whatever that is, twitched, so it was reacting to external stimulation. That meant it was alive-

You try to wave away the smoke that was constantly pouring out of the crater, giving you more of a chance to actually see what you were doing. If there was a chance that whatever crashed into your yard was alive, you were going to try and bring it back to health. Yeah, it fucked up all your hard work, but just letting something die over that would be fucked up, too.

You gently prod around, carefully watching the formless shape for any negative reactions before scooping it out and gently laying it on the ground.

Well.

You were not expecting this.

In front of you were two oriental dragons. You thought those guys went extinct a long time ago, but maybe you were wrong-? There was a fluffy yellow one that appeared to have a crown of horns and a plated stomach, and dark blue-ish and white one with deer antlers and a glowing bulb at the end of its tail. Both of them had complex patterns of fur and scales, more complex than any other dragon you’ve ever seen. The most interesting thing about them was the area on their necks that appeared to be rubbed raw, like they had worn a collar that was way too tight for way too long. They looked almost sickly, skinny enough to see their bones, and they also appeared as though  they hadn't slept well  in about ten years. And they were so tiny, about the length of a small belt-

A sharp growl sounded from the tree. When you turned to look, you assumed that the wyvern would be growling at you, given that there was a fire and you were spraying water everywhere like a mad man. It was a stressor and you were the only human around, and you were directly involved. Of course the locals would be pissed. However, she wasn't looking at you-

She was staring, growling, and hissing at the two noodles in front of you.

“Hey, knock it off Becky, I'm trying to get them out of your feathers for you!”

More hissing, this time it was aimed at you.

“Hey hey hey! What did I just say? I am literally trying to get them out and away-” Geez, wyverns take ‘territorial’ to a whole new level. Becky’s partner, who you have dubbed Ron, poked his head out and started hissing too. You threw your hands up in the air in defeat. Why were you trying to reason with these flying lizard chickens. They can't understand you. 

You step away from the dragons and quickly grab the nearby bucket, dumping out all the bulbs and pips inside. Once you return, you scoop them into the bucket as gently as you can. Any harsh or brash movements might injure these two even more than they likely are. 

As you reach the back door, the wyvern couple give one more indignant screech, to which you give them a little bird over your shoulder. Even if they don't understand it, you feel a little less peeved off at them and their bad attitudes.

Once inside, you quickly get to work. You grab a few rags, a pair of towels, and make your way to the bathroom. You set the bucket down on the tiled floor and turn on the bath water. You're not exactly sure what you are doing, but you had to nurse an injured wyrm once, and these two looked kind of similar. Just cross your fingers and pray to the medicinal gods that you can do this.

You turn off the water once it is enough and carefully- CAREFULLY- pick up the yellow one, and very gingerly lower it into the shallow water. You did the same for the darker one, watching for any signs of obvious discomfort or pain. Their breathing was quick and shallow, which meant you had to act fast. 

Once they had been placed in the tub, you took one of the rags and dipped it in the water. Gently, you cup the face of the golden serpent and wipe away the dark blood from the wounds you could see, but…

It looked like he had healed a little bit, like he had had these wounds for a few days now. Did he- or maybe even both of them- have fast self healing properties? You would have to pin that question for later, suddenly remembering that he could still get infected.

Quickly, you get back to work. His breathing was still ragged, but once he was clean, you laid him down on a nearby towel. You repeated this with his darker counterpart, noticing the awkward angle of one of his back legs. You would definitely have to fix that later. Even with self healing, if it was dislocated or broken, it could heal in the wrong way.

After you set him down on his own blanket, you drain the tub of the bloody water and initiate a health check. Usually, this was to deal with wyrms, lindwurms, and sea serpents, but again: you had no idea what to do. They aren't lindwurms, because those guys only have two front legs. These aren't wyrms, wyrms have no legs. And that goes for the sea serpents, too. So, this was entirely new to you.

For once, you are very glad that you grew up with two dragon vets for mothers. You could hear your Ma’s voice as you inspected the two:

‘First, check the head for any obvious signs of damage.’ Well, the blue one did have this sort of…weird thing going on with his face. Upon closer inspection, his face was half white and half dark blue. Nothing except some light scratches that seemed to have healed slightly, so it was safe to move on. Inspecting the golden one though, you notice a crack in one of his primary horns. It was small, but it might still ache when he awakes. You make a mental note to put some horn repairing ointment on it later. Neither of them seemed to be severely injured on the skin, so you moved on.

You check their eyes, pulling out a small flashlight from one of the nearby cabinets and gently prying their eyes open. The golden dragon's eyes were bloodshot and completely white. You could barely see the even paler pupil, and that was definitely cause for concern. You should take care of that first when you're done, but in the meantime you need to continue and make sure there was nothing else that required your attention first. When you checked his counterparts' eyes, it was a bit harder to tell. His eyes were a natural ruby red with a black sclera, so it was hard to spot any blood or cataracts. You couldn't check the dilation of the eyes for his friend, but this should be easier. After a quick check, his slitted eyes responded normally to the light.

Finally, you went on to the final step: ‘Gently feel along the body for any lumps, bumps, or any other abrasions.’ You could only feel a few bumps, and those you could feel were from their ribs, which you fully intended on giving these boys a proper meal after, and the area on their lower necks that had been slightly rubbed raw, and it hurt just to look at it. It was a miracle they survived that crash when they were already this unhealthy. Whoever they belonged to previously had clearly not cared about these dragons in a healthy way, if at all. It made you furious, if it had been any one else's yard they had crashed into, you aren't quite sure they would be exactly welcomed and taken care of the way you are currently doing so. Their current condition would have left them defenseless against drakes, wyverns, true dragons, anything really. A rather common thing you noticed on the pale dragon was a swelled pyro sac, the organ that produces flames. The not-so-common detail that you noticed was that an agitated pyro sac was usually warm, and glowed like an ember. However this one was rather cold, and while it was slightly swollen, it didn't glow at all.

Well, that absolutely mystifies you, and you’d have to check in with your mothers’ about that.

You were surprised to find no burn marks. The crater, including themselves, had been smoking, and the fire all around them should have at least given them heat burns. But their scales were just really dehydrated, which is a miracle given the circumstances. 

You reach into the cabinet under the sink and pull out the emergency first aid kit that your Ma gave you before you moved out. She insisted on it, saying that you would never know when you would have to take care of a dragon. Back then you were slightly exasperated, but now you were very grateful.

Aaaaaaaaand that’s all I got for Modern noodles, i got burnt out by the end and didn’t know where to take it, hence me writing swords and scales instead

[kierancampire]

I'm stressing a bit about finances haha. And please, please for the love of god, on the extreme off chance anyone reads or responds to this. Please don't say "Everyone is struggling with this right now". I am sick to fucking death of people saying this every time i mention financial fears, it's why i never do, happens literally every fucking time. Just feels like it instantly invalidates me while doing less than nothing to fucking help

So the wet food I've been buying the girls is around £80 for 24 days of food, yeah, kinda steep, meaning 1 purchase doesn't even last a full month, but it's the only food they've consistently eaten, plus it is a good quality food and healthy for them, i feel bad giving them bad food, they straight up won't eat it anyway. That's without how much i spend on their dry food. So all my monthly direct debits come to around £83.97 for now, my internet discount runs out soon so i gotta find another deal or it over doubles. The thing is, with that i haven't included my utiity bills, so my gas when the radiators isn't on is around £10, no issue, but my electricity bill has kinda been fluctuating/steadily rising from £50-£90, and they've said the prices are further rising still. I didn't include it cause i dunno how much i need to pay to cover my utility bills now, £55 used to do it, i may need to be putting on £100 now, so that could be pretty much £185 in total already. But then there's also food. I think this is where I'm gonna have to start cutting corners, get store brand and less treats, cause I'm spending an ungodly amount on food. But when i gave myself a budget of £350 a month, which i dunno if i spend that or not, i can't afford my food, 2 purchases of the girls food, and my drastic increase in utility bills, that's without any other variables/extras that can change throughout the month. Like, literally spending more than I'm getting. I literally have half as much in my bank right now than i did at the end of January, one month cleared out half my balance

I think starting tomorrow, at least for the whole of March, I'm gonna buy only necessities and make a start on those cut corners, I'll turn my radiators off, see what my electricity bill is like, then just see what everything looks like in April. I have been keeping a log of my finances for a few months now, since PiP got taken from me, but it's hard to really base it on those records as i didn't have the girls then, plus i wasn't making the best financial decisions, then obviously February i had the vets and the bed. I just can't keep eating in to what little i built up, in a few months there'll be nothing, and this time there's no foyer, I'd be completely fucked, i won't survive losing the girls and homelessness a third time, i think that'd finally push me over the edge

I need to look at it as i need to manage it and see what i can do to do so, but it's so fucking bleak actually sitting there and counting up all the numbers, especially to reach that end conclusion of, unless i make changes, i literally am spending more than i get right now. It wouldn't be so bad if there was even a guaranteed £5 or £10 at the end of each month, but I'm going at least £50 over. That's a lot to cut considering everything is pretty much necessities/forced to pay, like a £90 electricity bill

[karenlivesherlifeyo]

Pip. Pippa. Pippa Dippa Dew. Mrs. Pippy. Pippi Longstocking. Pippa Lou Who. Pippadopolous. Little Feet. Sweet Baby Girl. My Little Black Bean. Drippy Lippy Pippy. Squeaks, Pippalicious, Princess Peezy. Janet Yellin’.

So many names for one sweet cat. She was a month shy of 16 years old. We were together a month shy of 13 years.

In early 2011, an Air Force friend of mine was reassigned from our base in Illinois to a base in England. She didn’t want to put Pip through the trauma of flying overseas so she asked if someone would take her in. I was deployed at the time but missed having a cat in the house since my boy, Figaro, passed away a year and a half prior. I told her I could take Pip if someone else could foster her until I got home from deployment. A coworker of mine said she could do that. The plan for Pip was in place.

I returned from deployment on April 5, 2011, but, due to a burst pipe in the house that required a bit of repair and new carpet, I didn’t pick her up until April 29th. She hid in the closet that first night, but sometime in the middle of the next day, I heard a tiny meow and saw her rubbing her cheek on the hallway wall, trying to decide if she wanted to come over to me or not. Once she decided I was safe, she never left my side.

One day, Pip’s former mom told me if I was leaving on vacation (which I was in June), Pip would freak out if she was left alone. The next day I headed to PetSmart and adopted Andy, a peach floof with no voice. He tried to meow but no sound came out. He was the yin to loudmouth Pip’s yang. They weren’t best buds, but they appreciated each other’s company.

We moved to Minneapolis that July (I knew when I adopted her that we were going to relocate due to my pending reassignment). They adjusted well to our new home, but Andy’s health took a sudden turn, and, by Thanksgiving of that year, he was gone. Pip and I were both sad by his loss. He was a floofy ninja, but his quiet presence was missed. A couple of weeks later, our vet posted a picture of a cat that was looking for a home. He had been sleeping in the window well of a house in the country. The homeowners had taken him to the vet to vaccinate him, get him fixed, and find him a new home. He had big round eyes and little round ears, and within a few days he was a member of our little family. He and Pip got along well. It wasn’t all sunshine and roses in the beginning, but before long they were cuddling together while they slept.

I retired in 2014 and we moved to Rapid City, South Dakota. Again, she and Scotty adjusted well to the move. We went from a 2-bedroom apartment to a 3-bedroom house with a finished basement and a big backyard. She loved sleeping on the windowsills, or on the back of the couch, in front of the big picture window. In the early morning, when I got back from my run, I would let them out the front door so they could roll on the sidewalk and smell the morning smells. She loved rolling on her back!

Four years later, another move took us to the southeast corner of the state. First, we lived in an apartment. They adjusted well, but we were on the second floor so there was no way they could roll on the sidewalk. There was a balcony, but I wouldn’t let them out there very often because I was afraid they’d jump! Also, she was tiny, so I worried about her accidentally rolling under the railing and falling off.

In early 2019, we moved to the house I’m in now. She loved having windows to sleep in front of again. She loved it when I opened the front door, and she could stretch out in the sun for the afternoon. She was happy. At night, she would sleep on my chest while I lounged on the couch watching tv. She slept next to my head at night, making biscuits on my neck while she licked my chin. She even tolerated the third addition to the family, Jimmy. I volunteered at the local humane society and Jimmy had been there for seven months. He started out as a baby, but was growing into a tall, loud boy with a big personality. I brought him home in February 2020 “to foster” him for a weekend, and he hasn’t left yet!

In the past year, Pip started showing her age. She developed a thyroid issue that caused her to lose weight. She was small when I got her; she became tiny. My neighbor referred to her as “Itty Bitty.” She was eating and playing and behaving like usual, but she also started sleeping more. While I watched tv, she would start out on my chest but eventually she would move to my lap, under a blanket, where she could be warm. When I would move upstairs to bed, she would sleep under the covers while I read, and then I would lift the covers, say “okay Pippy” and she would crawl out and make herself comfortable by my head.

On the 4th of this month, she wouldn’t eat. She wouldn’t take her morning Churro with her medicine mixed in. She wouldn’t eat soft food or treats. She just wanted to sleep. I mentally prepared myself for the end. Early in the afternoon, I was in the kitchen when she suddenly came running in, meowing in her loud voice. She was awake and she was hungry! For the next few days, everything was good again. On Sunday the 10th, she wouldn’t eat again. She just wanted to sleep all day. I told myself I would monitor her and, if she continued to turn her nose at food, I would call the vet. Later that night, she ate again. She seemed fine on Monday and Tuesday, although she was sleeping a lot.

Wednesday morning started off normally. My alarm went off at 6:00 a.m. She jumped off the bed, ran into the bathroom, and meowed until I came in, turned on the water in the tub, and lifted her into it so she could lick the water from the drain. She always loved the tub! In the Rapid City house, she would sit on the edge, licking water off the tile wall while I showered. The tub in this house is clawfoot so she couldn’t do that, but if I picked her up and put her in, she would jump out whenever she was done. Wednesday was no different. I went downstairs to feed the boys, and then I went back to the stairs to bring hers to her. She usually met me at the top of the stairs, but this morning she met me at the bottom. She had jumped out of the tub and made it down the stairs with no problem. She licked up her gravy/medication combo, and then followed me upstairs to hang with me while I got ready for work.

I was in the bathroom, getting ready to do my hair, when I looked over and saw Scotty was drinking from the water bowl. Pip was sitting next to him, and she was trying to drink, too, but she couldn’t stand up to get closer. I watched her try to walk away, but her legs collapsed under her. She cried out. I scooped her up and brought her into my room. She stretched out on the bed, next to my leg, while I grabbed my phone and emailed my students to let them know their 8:00 a.m. class was cancelled. I called the vet and left a message. Eventually, we moved downstairs to wait for the vet to call me back. She and I were on the couch; I held her like a baby against my chest. I told her how much I loved her and that it was okay if she just didn’t want to do this anymore. I reminded her of how great our life together was.

The vet called and asked if I could drop her off. I did just that 10 minutes later. I kissed Pip’s head, told her I loved her and went back home to wait. The vet tech called less than an hour later to get more information: Was the inability to walk gradual or sudden? Had she been eating? I answered, hung up, and waited again. Eventually, the doctor called to give me an update. They were going to put her on an IV with some anti-inflammatory medicine to help with the joints and keep her overnight for observation. They had her propped up on a heated pad with soft blankets. I was told I could come visit her any time. I told the doctor I would come around 3:00 p.m. so she’d know I hadn’t abandoned her.

Shortly after noon, the clinic called again. I knew as soon as I saw the caller ID that it was bad news. It was the doctor, letting me know Pip had suffered a seizure and it was time to make the decision. I told her I didn’t want my baby girl to suffer, so I agreed to let her go. She said she would be available at 2:00 p.m., but I could come earlier to spend time with Pip before they administered the medications.

I went at 1:40. I signed the paperwork, opted for cremation with return of the remains, paid the bill, and then they brought her to me. She was wrapped in a puppy pad and a blanket. We sat on that couch for 15 minutes. I cried and told her over and over again how much I loved her. She was so still, I thought perhaps she had passed in my arms. Suddenly, she cried, flipped over, and slapped her paw onto my forehead. I laughed through the tears because she had always been intrusive of my personal space. The fact she was doing so in her final moments was fitting.

The doctor and tech came in. When Figaro and Andy passed, they were on the table, and I petted them while looking at them in their eyes and telling them I loved them. I wanted them to see me while they left this life. Pip stayed on my chest. It was her favorite place to sleep. I kissed her little head over and over again, hoping she heard my words as she slipped away. I also wondered, with her head against my heart, could she hear it breaking, too?

[geminiamethyst]

Skyline Gang: Trial of Darkness. Chapter 4

Chapter 1: click HERE

chapter 3: click HERE

Chapter 5: click HERE

The next morning, everything was in a bit of a rush. Dude had stayed true to his word, and managed to convince everyone to go up into the attic with him. They brought brooms, dusters and a few cleaning cloths. Even if they don’t look through everything, the most that they could do was give the room a rushed cleaning job. They were limited for time, Dude even skipped out on his usual morning run just to get started. They only had roughly an hour and a half until they had to open the park and the staff would be arriving soon to get started on food prep and safety checks on the rides. Sooner or later a member of staff might interrupt to check things over or ask for an extra hand. So the faster they look through the attic and give it a quick sweep, the sooner they can get on with their own usual routine.

No one had been up in this place for quite some time. The only evidence that someone was up there recently was Dude’s footprints in the dust from the night before. Boxes had been stacked haphazardly, leaving some of the Gang to move the boxes to prevent them from toppling over. It was quite stuffy from previous summers and the sun shining through the windows, catching the dust floating in the air. It was quite a large space. Aside from the spare bedroom, it could be an ideal storage space too. Or even a workshop for Bud as it would give him more room to invent things. Either way, no one was going to be occupying this attic until it was given a proper clear out. It could take a few days with how much limited free time everyone had.

“EW! Dude, why are we doing this again?” Mimi grimaced as she looked at her hands. They were almost completely grey from the dust after touching one of the boxes.

“We need to clear this place out Mimi.” Dude responded, rolling his eyes. “Two months and we haven’t even looked around this attic properly. Now before the park opens is a good a time as any to get started.”

“You are so cleaning my outfit for this!” Mimi whined, brushing the dust off of her as best that she could.

“Don’t get your tights in a tangle Mimi! It’s not the end of the world!” Pip exasperated a long sigh. Mimi scoffed but decided to not complain any longer. She was outnumbered her, and no matter how much she whined, she knows that she won’t get out of this. As she was sweeping the floor, Candi scanned everything carefully. She wanted to find out what was making those noises from the night before. She was still paranoid that she heard something that frightened her. Rainbow stayed close to her, sensing all of her distress. He found a bit difficult to manoeuvre for a bit. So far, they hadn’t found anything. Just boxes of objects that were left to collect dust. The windows are closed, so nothing could’ve gotten in or out. Aside from Dude’s footprints before everyone started their work, nothing was disturbed at all. There was nothing to be worried about.

“Ohhhh! What’s this?” Sprout asked, pulling away some boxes. He then let out a loud grin. It caught everyone’s attention. “Bonkers!”

“What is it?” Mimi asked, forgetting her previous complaints.

“A magic cart! Look at this!” Sprout declared. Everyone gathered around him. He was hurriedly inspecting a small metal cart. Both shelves of it had a large box that was stuffed with various magic tricks. Cards, hankies, feathers, even matchboxes could be made out from the top of both boxes. There was even a top hat, which Sprout was quick to swap his hat for. He hurriedly rummaged through the cart, grinning like the Mad Hatter. “A wand, cards, books! This is the best find ever! I claim this as mine!”

“So, what? You want us to do a magic show for our first show?” Pip asked, feeling a little excited herself.

“Why not?! I love magic!” Sprout grinned. “And kids love magic!”

“You do realise that we’re going to have to practice magic as well, and that could take quite a bit of time.” Bud brought up, picking up a deck of cards to inspect.

“The magician that I was trained under taught me for a few months. It’s not as hard as you think, Bud.” Sprout smiled with extreme confidence. It wasn’t a big deal. He can teach everyone else what he knows (or at least the bare minimum for the time being) and they’ll be okay to self learn in no time. As everyone else started to ask Sprout a few more questions, Candi’s attention was suddenly on something else. Pressed up against the cart was an old book. Only Candi spotted it. It was covered with dust, hiding the dark colour of the cover. The pages, once pure white, had gone yellow with age. It was a bit odd that it would just be left there like that. It had this enticing feeling to it. It was like anyone who had looked at it, would be drawn to it like a moth to a flame. No one else seemed to have noticed it.

“What’s this book?” Candi asked, picking up the book. The enticing spell that it had on her, had made it impossible to resist. The air felt static around her, her fingertips feeling tingly. Propping the book with one arm, she flicked through the pages. There was a musty smell from the yellowed pages. Dust flew from it with each turn of a page. Someone hasn’t looked at this book for a very long time. Candi scanned each page a little, her actions seemingly ignored. There were poems in them. Each one unique to the other. Candi found herself grinning at a few of them. This poem was quite funny sounding. The air continued to feel static as she silently read it. There was this conciseness within her, urging her to read it out loud. She wasn’t sure if she should fight it or not. Maybe speaking it quietly won’t harm anyone?

“Yang and Yin,

Yin and Yang,

Watch this cupboard open with a bang!

Yin and Yang,

Yang and Yin,

May my opposite be within!”

[discount-shades]

Contract Spouse Chapter 2

Chapter 2: The Letter

A/N: Not so much this chapter but this fic is going to get dark at times, it's not going to be as fluffy like Sleepy Baby.

Pairing: Jake Seresin/Reader (nicknamed Pip)

Warning:  Angst,  

Length: 2000ish

Summary: Jake tells the Dagger Squad about Pip.

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You roll your shoulders and send off the final few texts and emails of the day, checking the time you sign off at 5:00PM. Being a virtual assistant had its perks. You got to wear yoga pants all day and there was no commute, but the biggest perk was the fact you were able to work two jobs. 

One was a fairly involved executive assistant position at a growing company that took up most of your time. The other was as a glorified Google Calendar, keeping your extremely ADHD boss from missing deadlines, meetings, and anything else important. 

The downside was a large L-shaped desk with three monitors set up in your bedroom. You had a business degree but when the opportunity evolved out of your part time administrative assistant job, you had taken it. When you had found yourself with a couple hours of down time during your work day you had subtly asked around and had gotten a second job managing your other bosses emails and calendar.

You walked into the kitchen you would be sharing with Sami until the end of the month. After over five years of it being the two of you she had finally decided to move in with her boyfriend of two years. You were happy for her but unsure of your own future. Should you renew your lease? Find a smaller, cheaper, single bedroom place? Get a roommate? You didn’t know what you wanted to do and time was running out.

That was a lie, you know what you wanted to do but it was impossible. You wanted to move in with your husband, drop everything and move across the country to be with him. But it’s not that kind of marriage, you tell yourself for what feels like the millionth time. It has never been.

Jake had been your teenage crush. Your best friend's handsome big brother, nothing would ever come of it. But when you needed him, he had married you, he had even called you almost daily to keep up the pretense that your marriage was real. 

With every phone call you had fallen further and further in love with your husband. He was sweet, funny, caring, and supportive. You’ve never told anyone of your feelings but sometimes you think Sami suspects it. 

You knew Jake went on dates and hooked up with women. You have tried going on dates, and one night stands, but could never get over the guilt. The feeling that you were cheating on Jake. 

You again consider divorcing him. It would be easier. You could date and start a real relationship. You knew how this train of thought would end. You would have yourself convinced you were going to call it quits and then Jake would call and say ‘hello’ in a tone of voice that told you he was smiling and you would be sucked right back in.

He would sign the divorce papers the minute you asked but you kept torturing your heart. You knew you couldn’t keep waiting forever, knew that eventually you would have to move on but you couldn’t. Not yet, anyway.

– – –

You hear keys in the lock and the door open and glance at the time, it’s 12:30 AM, “You're past curfew.” You can hear Sami chuckle as she walks in and drops two envelopes on your head. 

“I get your mail for you and all I get is sass.” She flops down on the couch beside you. “Are you watching Downton Abbey again?” she groans as you just shrug. 

“I want your final month here to be exactly the same as the past five years of us living together.” You grin at her rolling eyes. “You going out and having fun, and me staying in, watching a period drama.” 

“Goodnight, Dork.” You can hear the fondness in her voice as she gets up and heads to bed. You look at the envelopes, one is a reminder to renew your car insurance, the other has the NCIS emblem. Frowning you open it and your jaw drops as you read the letter inside. It has come to our attention… marriage under contract… opening an investigation…. 

“Shit.”

You scramble and grab your phone, quickly calling Jake, when he doesn't answer you try him again. You are taken aback by a woman's voice answering and feel a twinge of jealousy and guilt. You had always told yourself that you would never negatively impact Jake's life while married to him and you hope you didn’t ruin something by calling him like this.

After rambling at the woman on the phone you hang up and stare at your reflection on the black screen. You are so lost in thought that you jump when Jake's face pops up with an incoming call.

“Pip? What's wrong? Are you hurt?” His sounds worried and, despite this, you immediately relax at the sound of his voice. 

“I’m ok, I’m sorry!” You are talking in a rush. “I didn't mean to ruin your date.” 

“I’m not on a date.” You sag in relief at his response. Happy you didn’t ruin his date or happy he is not on a date, you’re not sure.

“I got a letter,” You stare at the paper in your hand. “Jake, someone reported our marriage.”

“Shit.”

“That's what I said.” You reread bits of the letter to him, giving Jake a moment to process. “It says they are going to be interviewing people who know us,” you pause, ”Jake, I haven't told anyone about us.” Running your hand through your hair, you bite your lip in nerves. “I don’t have a lot of friends or share personal details.”

“I’ll tell the squad.” You can hear it in his voice when he shifts into protector mode. “Rooster owes me his life so he’ll lie for us.” His voice is tense when he says that, bitter in the way he always gets when he talks about the things he never speaks of. “And don't forget the fake marriage plans. No one can say we don’t have a relationship.”

“Yeah,” you agree. “I’ll scan the letter and email it to you.” 

“Thanks, I’m going to head home. I’ll call you when I get there.” You agree and go to hang up but Jake stops you. “It’s going to be alright, you planned for this.” You agree softly. “I love you, Pip. We got this.”

“I love you too,” your reply is quiet and automatic as you hang up the phone, rising to go scan the letter. Jake always said he loved you. It had started as a cover when the two of you were together at a military event, that as his wife, you couldn’t avoid. He had urged you to do the same jokingly.

“I love you, Pip.” His cheeky grin melted and hardened your heart.  “Now tell me you love me too, and make sure I believe it.” 

 After years of saying it you were sure he meant it, in his own way, Just not in the same way you meant it every time the words crossed your lips.

– – – 

Jake rubs his head as he stares at his teammates, he had been up late last night talking to Pip. He had asked them to meet him in the parking lot after training where they could not be overheard. “I need to tell you guys something that if anyone asks you’ve always known.”  

The faces around him show a variety of emotions. Coyote is resigned, but then again, he already knows. Rooster and Fanboy look giddy with excitement, like little kids about to be told a secret. Phoenix’s eyes are narrowed in suspicion. Only Payback and Bob have mastered a look of polite interest. 

“Pip, the woman on the phone, she’s my wife.” 

Jake registers the feeling of his head jerking to the side a millisecond before the pain of the slap hits him and causes his left cheek to bloom red. “Jesus Christ Phoenix!” Jake raises his hand to his cheek, shock on his face. “What the fuck was that?”

Phoenix is subtly flexing her hand to shake out the pain from the slap. “You go home with a different woman every night you can!” Rage is clouding her eyes. “You’re telling me you have been cheating on some poor woman all this time?” Rooster moves forward and places himself between Jake and Phoenix.

“Ow! No!” Jake’s cheek feels hot. “It’s a fucking marriage of convenience!” He runs his tongue on the inside of his cheek, searching for the telltale metallic taste of blood, but it's not there. “She was sick and needed health care so I married her when I was still in flight school.”

“Is she better?” Trust Bob to do the decent thing and be concerned with the health of a stranger.

“You know, Phoenix, you should listen to your Wizzo more.” Jake says, gingerly feeling the warmth of his cheek. “Ask questions first, instead of slapping.”

“You’ve had it coming on some level,” Phoenix says without remorse before repeating Bob's question. “Is she better Hangman?”

“She's fine, it's been over five years.” 

“Why’d you stay married?” Payback asks. He’s the only other married member of the squad.

Jake shrugs, “the money, and the spousal benefits helped her.” He knows that's not the truth. At least not the whole truth but he doesn’t want to get into the hollow little feeling in his chest every time he thinks about ending the charade. 

“How’d you meet?” Roster asks. 

“She’s my baby sister's best friend.” Jake waits for Rooster to do the math. Rooster and Sami had crossed paths before and Jake had warned Rooster to stay away from his younger sister.

“Jesus, Hangman, was she a child bride?” 

“No!” Jake rubs his face in defeat. “She was eighteen, and it's not that type of marriage, it's just a piece of paper.”

“So why are you telling us this now?” Phoenix crosses her arms and looks at Jake expectantly. 

“Pip got a letter.” Jake sighs. “Someone reported our marriage as fake and now we are being investigated.”

“Shit,” Fanboy muses, “do they have a case?” Jake looks at him in exasperation. Fanboy was brilliant at his job, but some days Jake suspected all other available mental real estate was taken up with nerd trivia leaving no space for common sense.

“Yes Fanboy, they do have a case.” Jake rolls his eyes before continuing. “We talk on the phone and have a joint bank account but we’ve never lived together, most of it can be explained away through health, deployments, and her university.”

“So what do you need us to do?” Payback asks.

“Just pretend you have always known I was married.” Jake looks around at everyone nodding. “Pip hasn’t told anyone so you will have to prove that it wasn’t a secret. Coyote was a witness so he has legal proof of knowing.”

“Don’t worry man.” Rooster claps him on the shoulder. “We've got your back.”

“Thank you.” Jake says sincerely. “I’m diving to Austin at the end of the month. Pip’s lease with my sister is up and she’s going to move in with me to make it look real.”

Coyote nods. “That makes sense, this is the first long term posting you’ve had since she finished University.”

“Sooo, yeah,” Jake spreads his arms out helplessly. “In conclusion, I’ve been married to Pip for six years and you have always known. Any questions?”

“Why do you call her Pip?” Fanboy asks, “What's her real name?”

Jake tells them your name. “She always looked so short next to my sister so I called her Pipsqueak. Pip for short.”

After a few more questions everyone walks to their cars and leaves. Phoenix hangs back until it is just her and Jake. “You did the right thing marrying her.” She motions to the red that has not faded from his cheek. “I feel a little bad that I hit you so hard.”

“You could have not hit me at all.”

“Don’t push your luck Hangman.” She walks to her car before turning around. “Rooster’s right though, we’ve got your back.”

[jayne-hecate-writer]

Happy New Year?...

As twenty twenty three passes into twenty twenty four, we can all sit back and reflect on where we have come as a society, marvel at the changes we have made for the better as things have improved for everyone, to ensure that they can live happy, worry free lives...

This is of course utter nonsense. Things have not got better, if anything, things have got considerably worse and many families in the UK are facing an uncertain future, filled with fear and misery. With heating bills rising, rents out of control even if you can find somewhere to live and medical waiting lists moving from months into years for essential health care. From this, we can only conclude that Britain is failing. The old Etonian schoolboys who have run the country for the last decade and a half have lined their own pockets, sold essential services to their friends and stolen the hopes and dreams of the poor. Food bank usage is higher than ever and of course, Brexit has been a huge, wonderful success... Opps sorry, I mean a catastrophic failure that we could all see coming, but somehow the likes of Farage and Johnson convinced the masses that a future separate from our biggest trading partners was the best option for us.

Why am I writing this now? I have kept quiet on my views for long enough. In twenty twenty three, I turned fifty. I never thought I would make it to fifty, I had always thought that I would have died in some exciting mountaineering accident, my mangled body slowing rotting in the high altitude sunshine, having dropped from an indeterminate ledge upon which I was having an epic climb. But arthritis and injury put a stop to that dream! Instead I am stuck indoors, riddled with pain and losing my mobility and independence, while living in fear of the next PIP assessment form that is going to drop through my door and force me to justify my existence.

I realise now that my hope for a happy peaceful future has evaporated. I am terrified of getting tooth ache, because I have no access to dental care. If I have an injury that needs medical attention, the NHS is so stripped of money, I will just sit on a waiting list to see a specialist Doctor who probably died of stress related alcoholism or Covid some time ago and may not have been replaced yet. I am not alone in these fears, so many others here in the UK have these fears and I cannot see a bright future for anyone here, except the very richest, most of which are already multimillionaires. Our current Prime Minister is richer than the King, meanwhile his wife has dealings with companies that are alleged to have made huge profits from Government involvement or even corruption. We all know that the Government are corrupt, but the media has carefully taken the hatchet to the anyone who would oppose them, leaving us with an opposition party who recently praised the work of Margaret Thatcher, the milk snatcher. The woman who destroyed the mining industry before it was cool to do so and also sold off our water and energy infrastructure, who took us back to the dark ages of the rich owning everything the poor rely upon to live. Currently, we have an unelected member of the cabinet, put there by making him a member of the house of lords, a completely unelected body who include people like Andrew Lloyd Webber and even Jeffrey Archer, of Weston Super Mare (some of us remember the scandal that involved him while he was in Government. Oh, they were such happy days, back when a political scandal meant that the minister was caught having intimate relations with someone he/she/they were not married too!). I am even getting e-Mails from Lord Michael Hesseltine, telling me that we have the same views on important political issues, such as Brexit and membership of the EU. OK, well only on that issue.

So what is my hope for twenty twenty four? It is this. I hope that nothing happens to me or my wife, because I do not know how I will pay the rent on my home. I hope that I do not need dental care or surgery. I hope that my car, that helps me with my daily mobility, does not fail the MOT in January. I hope that my Daughter and her partner can find a home of their own. I hope that my friends can find stability and freedom from debt. I hope that my seventeen year old cat makes it for another year . Finally, I hope that my arthritic hands can keep going as I explore my art and my writing. See? I do have hope after all.

My dear friends, I hope that the coming year brings you much needed peace and restorative rest, so we can face the horrors of our society and fight to put them right. I hope that we can remove these overly entitled bigots and old Etonian schoolboys from power and put in place a better, more egalitarian Government who don't want to ship desperate, hurting people off to the country that is still recovering from a horrific genocide of it's own people.

But if all of these hopes fail, you will find me on a mountain, real or metaphysical, praying to the spirit of nature to take me back home and away from this hellscape I have landed in... Oh yeah, I should mention that shouldn't I? Twenty twenty three was the year that I discovered that I had swapped universes, travelled across the metaphysical barrier between realities and landed in this unrelenting hellscape of far right politics and revolting nationalism. I should have guessed really, after all, what kind of lunatic would vote Boris Johnson into power or believe the lies and evil of Donald Trump? The world feels like a computer game, being played for laughs by a teenager who wants to see how evil a society can become before it implodes! Surely, at any moment, the points score is going to be so low that we are going to be wiped out by environmental disaster, while fighting global warfare started by underendowed oligarchs or simply failing to reach the next level in the game. I know how this works, I used to play Theme Hospital and occasionally I put the most evil and corrupt characters in charge, just for the giggles. Oh Heck... None of this is real. What kind of reality would allow for a fourth Matrix movie or make Darth Vader the sympathetic character we all feel sorry for?

Good luck my friends, I hope that despite it all, the coming year brings you the things you need to make your life safe, happy and peaceful. If it doesn't, then come and find me on the mountain and we can shout at the sky together.

With love always, Jayney XXX

[petite-ursus]

I've actually cried watching Pip come back to life this week.

I loved the boys, they were sweet cats to me and so funny and charming-- cats. I will miss them. I hope Cayde and Gryf find someone in that next house who loves them. I mean. Gryf is baby. He has so much love and so much to learn about manners and doesn't deserve to get thrown every time he tries his best. And yeah. Cayde is drooly, but he is a lover. I made sure to give them extra cuddles before they left. Regis too. He is The Lad. The funniest sproingiest man.

But Regis in particular took a lot of joy in tormenting Pip. He would chase her, stalk her, hit her. I don't know if he just really didn't like her (he wasn't a huge fan of just hanging with other cats like the other boys, in general) or if he thought the noises she made were just... funny... but I would come home every day worried he had slashed her across the face again while I wasn't there to protect her and the ex just... didn't pay enough attention. I was so worried he was going to take her eye out. Something the ex promised before even moving in was that she would help make a catio so there would be additional space for cats to go... but of course that never made the priority.

The past week I watched as she has slowly come to understand... they're gone... and they're not coming back. She has gone back to "singing" just... all the time. It sounds like, "hel-LO?" but like over and over with some different inflections. Her eyes are bright. She's gambling around. Running. Chirping. Playing "hide and seek" with me again. (Where I hide behind something and she comes and finds me, then trills and runs in the opposite direction, I come "find" her then trot away and repeat.) Sleeping next to me at night. Coming into the bathroom with me again in the morning. Being sweet and playful and like her little goblin self. I'll cry again right now. I'll do it.

I knew she had gotten crankier, and more defensive this year... We did as much as we could do (cat caps, calming collars and plug-ins, and all sorts of different high points and hidey-holes to give space) but she never got rest with him. He would attack her when she was sleeping. There were times where I'd lay with her in the living room and she would just ZONK on me because it was safe, and in the last few months the ex lived with me those times were further in between because the library didn't feel safe for her (too many cats gathering around me) and the living room didn't feel safe for me (ex.) And just. It's like YEARS have been taken off her. Being able to sleep will do that. I can attest now that no one is intentionally waking me up or keeping me awake every night.

My baby. I am so sorry I let the last year happen. I will never ever tolerate a situation where she is so clearly unhappy ever again. Not for anything.

(And like not just her... Fiona is also clearly thrilled. She's like a bur on me when I'm in the library-- but that's pretty normal for her even this year. The cat is from the streets, and gave as good as she got. Regis was half afraid of her, like if he saw her he made a nervous unhappy noise. Mostly she hides a lot normally except when I'm in the library... But she is able to Leave the library now, which is making her so jaunty. She keeps coming out and scratching the new cat tree, and she's climbing up into the moon which only Gryf used before and I assumed would go unused without him... Nope. She was just afraid to be exposed there before. I know Cayde started doing this thing where if she left the library he would chase her. When I was in the hospital she couldn't get out and she just had to pee in a corner on a dog mat. Very fun to come home to.)

Maybe it's misandry, and yes they were lovely to me... but I return to what I've always believed... Males of any kind have no place in my home.

It just. It makes it worth it. Pip alone. Even if this decision didn't feel like the right choice for me (and god it does it does it does for such similar reasons) ... if I were still unsure and you showed me her today vs her last week... I wouldn't hesitate. My baby. I will make it up to her. The things I let happen to us.