#I decided to take this in a slightly more 'comedic' direction since it's unrelated to what we have going on at this time (...I think?)

[crusherthedoctor]

Sonic Villains: Sweet or Shite? - Part 15: DR. EGGMAN

There are some villains I like. And there are some villains I don’t like. But why do I feel about them the way I do? That’s where this comes in.

This is a mini-series of mine, in which I go into slightly more detail about my thoughts on the villains in the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise, and why I think they either work well, or fall flat (or somewhere in-between). I’ll be giving my stance on their designs, their personalities, and what they had to show for themselves in the game(s) they featured in. Keep in mind that these are just my own personal thoughts. Whether you agree or disagree, feel free to share your own thoughts and opinions! I don’t bite. :>

Anyhow, for today’s installment, it’s finally time for him. The bad doctor himself. Gather round ladies and gentleman, for the spotlight is on the arch-villain that shines above them all... Dr. Eggman.

The Gist: It's the dawn of the 90's. A little company called SEGA had an ephiphany. They wanted to make a video game juggernaut that could rival the quality and iconic appeal of the then-unmatched Super Mario Bros, and their current star, Alex Kidd, just wasn't doing it in the way that they hoped. They promptly set about starting anew, as a worldwide phenomenon wasn't going to make itself.

So a gentleman named Naoto Ohshima created a selection of design concepts for this brand new mascot. One of these concepts was President Roosevelt in his pajamas.

Seen here with his catgirl body pillow.

The response to this character was “This is good, but we think kids would prefer kicking the shit out of him”, and so he was given an antagonistic role instead. In the meantime, after juggling the rest of their ideas, they eventually settled on a rabbit hedgehog named Sonic for their main protagonist, knowing his Mickey Mouse-like aesthetic would help endear him to the audience, and the franchise as a whole would have an easier time gaining a DeviantART fanbase later on down the line.

Initially, the character of today's review was but a mere lackey among many, seemingly little more than one of numerous minions working for Sonic's originally intended main villain, the Nonspecific Goblin. He was also dressed as a bee for some reason.

Which is the least weirdest thing in this image.

At some point however, they all got together and decided that actually, the guy with the moustache was the only one worth shit, and so he was upgraded to the role of main villain himself. With a spiffy new attire of red and black, he was given the bold title of Dr. Eggman, because with a shape like that, what else are you gonna call him?

“Funny you should say that”, laughed SEGA of America, as they rebelled like an angsty teen and named him Dr. Ivo Robotnik instead. While this name does make equal sense for the character, as he is indeed a hard worker who also happens to like robots, the reason for this name's existence seems to have been mainly because they thought Eggman was too out there of a name for an egg-like man. Whatever the case, this would confuse a lot of fans for years, and remains a point of divisiveness to this day... Unless you're like me and your first game in the series was Advance 2, in which the manual clears it up right away, and you accept the idea of a character having two names and immediately carry on with your life.

He would have aimed it perfectly if it weren't for the Sonic Heroes Parrot distracting him.

And that was that, really. It didn't take long for them to come up with his characterization, which was that of a cackling fiend with an ego to end all egos. This guy was the Narcissist Alpha, more king than actual kings, no strings attached. Other villains would build statues of themselves, but only Robotnik would deface Ancient Egyptian monuments to improve them with his face. Other villains would think “Nah, refacing all four in Rushmore would look silly”, but only the Eggman, the Eggmyth, the Egglegend, would go “Well fuck you, I'm doing it anyway.” Then he'd do it anyway, and proceed to address to the entire world that he did in fact do it anyway.

It also didn't take long for them to develop his primary schtick. With the dynamic of Sonic VS Eggman, you had a classic rivalry between nature and technology. Interestingly enough however, this turned out to be executed more tactfully than your typical Amish-abiding examples in similar media. Never was technology itself regarded as a corruptive influence that you should never utilise no matter what. Rather, it was only as good or as evil as the person using it, with it just so happening that the villain loved machinery only slightly less than he loved himself, and it was countered by Sonic’s best friend being a techno wiz in his own right anyway. Anyhow, with his machinery, the doctor would make a name for himself among video game baddies by confronting his enemy as the boss of nearly every zone in each game, rather than hide away until the endgame.

And all without a driver's licence.

In his soon-to-be-30 years of activity, he has largely remained the same since his inception. Other characters have been introduced, other villains have came and went, but Eggman has remained THE villain of the franchise, and he's remained a vital part of the Sonic the Hedgehog universe... with a slight redesign along the way.

The only ad I don't want to skip.

The Design: Eggman's design may be more simplistic than the likes of Bowser and Ganondorf, and he may not look as openly threatening at first glance, but it's still a very iconic look no matter what look it is. His original appearance was devised so that kids could have an easy time drawing him, which only makes me feel worse about not being able to do it as a grown adult without it looking like a Sexy Legs Kirby.

Still, it's a classic for a reason. With his to-the-point colour scheme, contrasting heavily with Sonic's blue, and his capelet collar resembling walrus tusks, it was an instant winner and made everyone goo goo for g'joob.

The Emeralds he’s juggling are a metaphor for the divided fan community.

And when it was time to give the cast an update for Sonic's first real 3D adventure (or at least the first one that didn't get axed for being a magic eye seizure), Eggman got a respectable change of his own. He was taller, his getup was militaristic, and his body was more legitimately egg-shaped rather than basketball-shaped. He also gained a pair of goggles that he never uses, except in scenes where he puts them on and then never uses them.

“How do my chicken legs not collapse under the might of my gluttonous mass? Find out in an unrelated tie-in novel that you have to pay additional money for.”

There was also that one redesign from 2006, but...

Be it Classic or Modern, I've always loved his design. Before he even says a word or does anything, you know from his appearance that he's a bit of a clownish sort. But he also has a subtle creepy vibe going on, with the way his glasses often obscure his eyes, and how this only makes the pearly-white, unnecessarily wide grin on his face that much more empty and unsettling. This little bit of eeriness hiding among his cartoonish physique reflects the full extent of his character pretty accurately, as we’ll delve into soon enough.

If nothing else, it's more effective than him having no eyes at all.

GRRRRRRRR FUCK YOU BUNNIES THAT I CAN'T SEE

The Personality: If you've seen my villain reviews, then you'll have gathered that Sonic's rogues aren't known for having much in the way of personality. There are exceptions, but they are indeed the exceptions. More often than not though, whether it's an alien conquerer, an ancient monster, or Dan Green the Recolour, they can be summed up thusly: They're evil, they want to destroy the world, and the heroes stop them because they're evil and want to destroy the world. If they're feeling particularly daring, they might go for a second colour.

Luckily, as if to counter all these cardboard drawings, the central adversary of the franchise makes up for these voids of personality by actually having one. And what a personality it is.

The writers of SatAM looked at this and thought “No, this won't do, there's no character to work with here.”

He really is brimming with comedic charm. Every moment that he's present...

Every moment that he shows off...

Every moment that he basks in his own glory...

Every moment that he unveils a new wicked scheme...

Every moment that he puts his enemies to the test...

Every moment that he challenges the world...

Every moment that he laughs at the world...

Every moment that he lives, nay, every moment that he breathes...

Yes, the man has plenty of humor, and it's part of what makes him so enjoyable and memorable. However, if you think being a clown is all there is to him, then prepare to have your expectations subverted initial assumptions taken in a unexpected direction, because although he puts the goof in goofy, he ALSO puts the “oh...?” in “oh shit”.

For you see, Eggman is by all means the epitome of Laughably Evil, but do not, under any circumstance, take him at face value and write him off as a joke. He is anything but.

For starters, he can swing a planet.

There is a rule of thumb that I personally go by with Eggman’s characterization, one that I believe is an immediate make or break factor in regards to whether or not you understand what makes this villain work. Eggman - when you put all his secondary traits aside - is made up of two prominent halves. There’s the egocentric meme machine that bounces up and down like a kid with his N64 and laughs like Santa... and there’s the monster buried within that remains completely and utterly unrepentant for everything he’s responsible for. This is very important. Despite the character’s simplicity at his core, many writers have failed to grasp this, official writers included, and I for the life of me cannot understand why this is such a recurring problem. Eggman is funny, AND Eggman is evil. Both are equal. When you take away one or the other, you may have a funny character, or you may have an evil character, but you don’t have Eggman. Simple as.

Armchair intellectuals may argue that Eggman’s deeds aren’t that evil, since he tends to be merely callous rather than actively trying to hurt or kill people. Those people are probably the types on TV Tropes who weigh a villain’s evilness and effectiveness purely through the surface-level scale of their goals rather than what they actually do to achieve them. While it is true that Eggman tends to be more apathetic about the aftermath of his actions, that doesn’t - and shouldn’t - negate how dangerous he is. It shouldn’t negate what he’s capable of. It shouldn’t negate how far he’s willing to go. And it shouldn’t negate the consequences and casualties that can and do result from his many schemes.

Seriously, think about this for a second. If you confronted Eggman about his current plan to... I dunno, make a water park in Africa or some shit, and you informed him that there has been unexpected mass suffering as a result of this, how do you think he would truly feel about that? What do you think he would actually say to that?

Spoiler: No fucks.

If anything, that he “merely” doesn’t care either way as long as he gets what he wants is more uniquely horrific and deplorable than if he were a generic baddie who committed his evulz specifically for evulz’s own sake and nothing more. At least you’re inadvertently acknowledging that other people’s lives have value when you act one-dimensionally gleeful over ending them, but when your immediate response to the side-effect of a million potential deaths and environmental disasters is “Oh well, fuck ‘em, Eggmanland time baybeeee”, that’s a new level of cruelty.

Besides, even in the Genesis era, he was carpet bombing Angel Island...

“Good thing I have this shield. Sucks to be this forest!”

And he’s only gotten worse since then, indulging in such acts as going full suicide bomber with a missile, after his initial plot to destroy and rebuild Station Square through the means of Chaos and the Egg Carrier didn’t work out...

But don’t worry, he kept it lighthearted by making it look like a penis.

Making one of Sonic’s friends go insane with power against their will, forcing the Blue Blur to put them down personally...

It’s ironic, cause he’s metal. Or do I have to awkwardly explain the joke two more times before I’m a proper YouTuber?

Capturing thousands of innocent aliens, and forcefully converting them into mindless beasts...

I’m pretty sure I saw Alfred Molina conduct this experiment one time.

He even removed the heroes’ collective IQs so that he could shoehorn a cliffhanger on an already terrible game.

Thanks, cunt.

And honestly? When it comes to Sonic and chums at least, Eggman does let out a more openly sadistic side now and then. Need I mention that time when the doctor forced Sonic and two random buddies to make their way through a trap-infested island of his own creation? Not for the sake of nabbing Chaos Emeralds or anything of the sort mind you, he just wanted the blue motor mouth to suffer.

Images you can hear.

To make matters even worse, as befitting of his manchild tendencies, he’s ridiculously petty. How petty? Petty enough to abduct a little girl’s mother for no other reason than because Cheese completely trivialized his forces the girl was friends with Sonic and helped participate in the latest kicking of his own ass.

He only picked Vanilla because there was no Strawberry.

But at least his captives can admire the sheer variety that their captor has to offer. One of the greatest things about the doctor's style is that anything goes. With all due respect to Bowser, he tends to stick with his fiery castles (although he has been branching out recently), and plenty of other villains in gaming tend to be similarly stuck in their ways when it comes to tastes. Eggman, on the other hand, will create all sorts of fortresses and reside anywhere on the planet and beyond. It can be in the sky, in space, somewhere hot, somewhere cold, under the sea, in a circus... and every now and then, he might combine some of them together and thensome. So long as it's even vaguely mechanical in some way, his ground rules have already been ticked off.

Hang on a minute...

You know what else Eggman is? Relentless.

Persistence is a quality that most villains by their very nature share, lest they cease to be an effective antagonist. But once again, Rrrrrrrobotnik maxes out more than any other, and will often go to insane lengths to keep the current plan going, or if not that, then to spite Sonic.

Exhibit A: Sonic 3 & Knuckles, in which the grand finale consists of the madman throwing a gravity-shifting contraption your way, busting out a Kaiju-sized robo, escaping with the Master Emerald after his defeat, continuing to escape even after the Death Egg has been thoroughly destroyed, getting chased through the asteroid fields in space by Super Sonic, and only finally going down when the escape craft and the piloted mech controlling the escape craft are down. And all of this came after a grand adventure where, among other things, he destroyed an entire level just to kill you.

There are immortal omnipotents that put up less of a challenge.

“Looks like it’s time for Plan... *checks paper*... F.”

His relentlessness also reveals another side of the doctor that is simultaneously admirable and terrifying: He bows to no one. No one. Doesn’t matter who it is. Doesn’t matter how powerful they are. Doesn’t matter how much the odds are stacked against him. If another villain were to demand that he cower before them, the scientist would laugh and show through physical demonstration that this is not the way the egg rolls. Unless he’s absolutely unable to do so, he will give it his all every time, and even if he can’t, he’ll use his crafty mind to find some other way to get around the issue. You can beat him in battle, you can foil his plans, but you absolutely cannot break his resolve.

“Dad said it’s my turn to play with the Ruby. I know this, because I’m your dad.”

What about his relationship with those who actually serve him? Specifically, his own robots? Well for the most part, he treats them like absolute crap, what with verbally abusing them at every corner and being all too willing to go full Vader on them the moment they mess up. He IS capable of expressing fondness and giving praise to his more successful creations, like with Metal Sonic and Gamma, but even then, it’s a roundabout way of praising himself, since he’s the one who made them what they are. So basically, you’re only valuable to him if you make him look good.

Gaming in the Clinton Years in a nutshell.

And as for Sonic? Yeah, like with any legendary and long-lasting hero/villain dynamic, it’s obvious that Eggman has some degree of begrudging respect for his opponent. But if you think this respect would dissuade him from actually going through with his ambitions of rulership...

As the hedgehog’s apparent demise in Sonic Adventure 2 proves, as well as his defeat at the hands of Infinite and the subsequent six months of brutal conquest in Sonic Forces, Eggman is dead serious about his goals. If you think he’d get bored after conquering the world, he would simply expand his resources and have a crack at conquering the rest of the universe. When he says he hates that hedgehog, I’m inclined to believe that he means it, and although he may enjoy his “games” with Sonic to an extent, I also can’t see him wanting to remain stuck on square one forever.

If this were Sonic X, he’d just grieve.

By the way, the scene above? Undeniable proof that for all the doctor’s boasting, he’s not actually lying or exaggerating when he prides himself on his brilliance. Because when you get past his goofy exterior, when you look beyond the occasional, relatively minor mistake (*glares at IDW*), you’ll see that... yes. He IS brilliant. And not just in the science department either, although his countless robots and strongholds over the years are no doubt a testament to his credentials there. While he may prefer to go in big and bold, he can also be shrewd with his strategies when he wants to be.

Sonic’s aforementioned near-death experience, for example, was the result of Eggman turning the heroes’ own cunning plan on its head by being one step ahead of them. And in Sonic Unleashed, he lured his enemy into a trap, culminating with him cancelling out Super Sonic.

“...and pay the price for your Werehog gameplay...”

And after all those years of struggling, he finally got a giant monster under his complete control. “But he had help!”, you say? Yeah, from himself.

Did Flynn sleep through all this...?

Much like his inner nature as an evil bastard, Eggman's effectiveness is likewise commonly underestimated by writers. Yes, he occasionally makes mistakes. Yes, he occasionally overlooks details. Yes, he occasionally lacks foresight. But he is NOT stupid. A hero is only as good as their villain after all, and if Eggman is portrayed as a bumbling fool, then how can Sonic be a truly great hero? Eggman is humorous, sinister, and when the chips are down, competent.

...Did I mention that he's also a master Olympian?

The Execution: There's no surprises here. You knew from the moment you saw this review that my stance wasn't going to be anything less than 100% fanboy adoration. In that respect, this section almost feels redundant, because there's only so many ways I can say “Dr. Eggman is the fucking shit and I'm eternally grateful to Mr. Ohshima for bringing this absolute masterpiece into our world” without it getting repetitive. So to cap this review off, I'm going to very briefly compare his portrayals in other media, and explain why they tend to not be as good as the original SEGA Eggman.

“Cause they’re not balanced, right?” you ask. “Cause they veer too far in a particular direction? You're so predictable,” you add. To that I say:

1. Yeah, basically.

2. ...S-Shut up...

3. While the conclusion may be obvious, it's nonetheless important because as I mentioned previously, despite how straightforward this villain is, writers seem absolutely intent on not getting the point. There are loads of villains out there who share Eggman's talent of mixing hilarity and evil together with a bow of competence on top. Two of those villains are among the most famous supervillains of all time, in fact. You might have heard of them.

Joker can do it just fine. Green Goblin can do it just fine. And plenty of others can do it just fine. So why is it such an issue with Eggman? What is it about a round body and a long moustache that gets people to think “No, this guy is absolutely incapable of being comedic and threatening at the same time, no question, end of.” Is it because he’s a more cartoony franchise? Well, that can't be the case, because even Mario has a couple of beloved examples. Fawful, anyone? How about Dimentio? Cackletta? King Boo? K. Rool? Hell, you could even count Bowser himself depending on the portrayal.

Anyway, the point is, writers tend to miss the mark for one reason or another. With Sonic X for example, he wasn't too bad in the beginning, but as the show went on, he became exactly the toothless non-villain that many people misjudge him as. We all know that scene where he berates Black Narcissus for harming their captives (not for pragmatic reasons mind you, he genuinely took issue with the act on moral grounds, even though his own hands weren’t exactly clean either), but even before that point, he was doing such things as healing an injured Sonic without an ulterior motive, not taking any opportunity whatsoever to start conquering Sonic's world because he was pining for Sonic's attention, and being the Jiminy Cricket to Chris Thorndyke's Pinocchio. Why they thought the goddamn villain should be the moral conscience of this show remains an unanswered question, but at least it no longer influences how he's portrayed in the games.

Then you have the IDW comic, which is a similar tale of starting off decent and then careening wildly into the abyss, but for different reasons. Initially, he was built up to be in-line with his competent, foresight-packed self from Forces, with his inevitable return being met with dread, and a delightfully devilish scheme to match when he finally did so. But somewhere along the way, Ian Flynn thought that Eggman coming back from his amnesiac period and returning stronger than ever with a new minion and a deadly virus wasn't enough to up the stakes... so they decided to “up the stakes” by turning both the doctor and his new minion into massive imbeciles so as to justify their plot getting hijacked by the Deadly Six, a move so predictable yet infuriating that it got even me to turn against the Six. And the reason the Six got invited in-universe is because Starline decided he didn’t like being unique and devolved into Snively 2.0 behind Eggman’s back. All this from the alleged “best writer” for the series...

Yeah, same.

And then you have the Boom version, which shares basically the same issues as Sonic X but in a more mundane fashion. It's easier to dismiss because it's a comedy-centric show and his redesign makes it easier to separate him from mainline Eggman, and I'll gladly admit that he does have a lot of genuinely funny lines that redeem him a little bit. But yeah, too much of not being a true villain for my tastes.

Now this isn't to say that there haven't been portrayals in other media that are up there with the original. The versions that I consider better off than the ones above include...

- The OVA Eggman is pretty faithful all things considered, aside from his romantic feelings for Sara, which feels slightly off since the idea of Eggman loving anyone other than himself is incredibly unrealistic at best. But it doesn't actually soften or undermine his deviousness, so I'm willing to let it slide for an alternate take. Especially since he gave us the best Metal Sonic out there.

- AoStH is far from a perfect show, but there's a reason why even its detractors tend to treat its version of Robotnik like a national treasure. Admittedly most of that is because of the legendary Long John Baldry and the endless memes associated with this incarnation, but despite hailing from a comedy-focused show like Boom Eggman, this Robotnik still had a lot of legitimately dangerous moments, more than you'd think.

- And of course, Jim Carrey's Robotnik in the Sonic movie is just... *chef's kiss*

So obvious aesop though it may be, but you see what the more effective portrayals have in common, I assume?

Granted, this also isn't to say that SEGA Eggman himself has had a perfect track record. The decade's worth of upstagings and backstabbings by other villains should be enough of a counterpoint to that claim, and I've also made it clear now and then that I take issue with certain games regarding what they do with the doc, no matter how revered they may be by other fans. Sonic Adventure 2, for instance. I praised the fake emerald scene, and I do sincerely believe that he has a number of other badass moments in that game, but because Shadow was playing him like a fool the whole time, I can't help but have a bitter taste in my mouth when I look at the bigger picture.

So close to greatness, yet so far...

So in that case, which game do I think has Eggman's best showing overall? That's not in any way an easy question, but lack of dialogue aside, I'm gonna go with Sonic 3 & Knuckles again, as the classic journey through the sights of Angel Island plays out in a way that highlights just how determined, ruthless, and underhanded he is with carrying out his mission to revive the Death Egg by any means necessary. Other games do win out in other areas - SA1 for how bastardly he is, Forces for how cunning he is, Colours for his hilarious announcements, CD for using the scenery to show the effects of his actions, Mania for not letting the other villain walk all over him - but for the purest essence of the doctor at his cartoony yet competent best, I'd say S3&K is a reasonable bet.

And when it comes to all his many traits, which one do I find the most special one of all? Well again, far from easy to answer, but I think the coolest aspect about him is also one of the most overlooked. Robotnik, despite whatever superhuman qualities he may occasionally unveil, is for all intents and purposes a regular guy with a big brain. This might make him appear unimpressive when compared to your average Final Fantasy villain and the like, but if anything, it paints him in a more flattering light than expected, because he doesn't even need to be on their level to still be on the radar. It's easy to be a big bad threat when you're an ancient demon or an almighty god-like being, and you only have to wave a hand to cause armageddon. But when you're just Some Guy™ going up against superpowered opponents, meaning you have to earn your threat level the hard way, and you prove to be a challenge every step of the way regardless, because you're just THAT much of a genius... that's fucking awesome, no other way to put it.

And you know what else is awesome? You may not like Eggman, and you don’t have to like him, but like it or not, he is directly and indirectly responsible for a vast majority of the coolest and most loved moments and aspects of this franchise.

The opening to Unleashed? Eggman set up the scene.

Shadow running around and continuing to be part of the franchise? Eggman released him.

Blaze getting involved with Sonic’s world and continuing to be part of the franchise? Eggman’s half-responsible for that.

Metal Sonic? Eggman made him.

Egg Dragoon? Eggman.

Big Arm? Eggman.

Monkey Dude? Eggman.

That text is missing a blue checkmark.

This review is probably longer than the echidna family tree in Archie at this point, so I better finish it off. If it wasn't obvious from all the paragraphs I've belted out in this post, I'm very passionate about Eggman and the way he’s portrayed. Ever since I got into the Sonic franchise in 2003, I immediately took a liking to the doctor, and to this day, he remains not only my favourite Sonic villain, my favourite Sonic character, but also my favourite character period. Some may find it a weird or lame choice compared to other, “better” characters, but that's the way it is, and I ain't about to change it. I am very unlikely to ever stop enjoying the hell out of this villain, and even if he got irreversibly ruined in some way, I'd still continue to love what he was before that point.

Because yeah, he's not the deepest character ever, but... who cares? Is it not enough that we find something that appeals to us? When I got into Sonic, I was introduced to fantastic games, a likable cast, high quality soundtracks, beautiful worlds, numerous friends on this very site, and of course, the lovely treasure that is my partner. I may not have been with this franchise during the 90's, but it's given me just as much fun, nostalgia, and happiness as those who were. Despite the flawed titles, despite the fandom conundrums, I still love this series.

And I still love this absolute prick.

Crusher Gives Dr. Eggman a: TWO Thumbs Up!

[funtryandthepaladudes]

Ok, I suddenly had this idea. I know most of us are happily done with VLD now but I just had this thing nagging in my mind and I felt compelled to share it. So, most of us agree, that this last season was less than satisfying, particularly in some character development, or just plot threads. However, what if that was deliberate? What if there is one last chapter of this story they need to tell, and it's not in comics?

So, even at the time that I watched it, something struck me as odd about the closing scene. Sure I understood the significance of the Allura shaped Nebula, but it just seemed to have a different tone than everybody else's epilogue shots. And then it hit me, it felt like an after credit scene, and not just any after credit scene, but one that could be hinting at a follow up. Remember not to long ago, when a Voltron movie was discovered to be future project, what if this wasn't meant to be a standalone unrelated, and possibly live action, movie, but is supposed to act as an ultimate finale with a Search for Spock-esque plot? (Which, from what I've heard isn't the best of the Trek movies, but that doesn't have to be a factor here. )

Now, indulge me a bit as I break down what this film could look like. I will warn you in advance, this is going to be incredibly biased and self indulgent, so my story will contain Plance, Kallura and Hunay, but also some discussion about some plot stuff, like Keith's connection to quintessence, what's the deal with the entity, stuff like that. If you like it, cool. If you don't, I can't help you, but maybe instead of telling how much my pretend movie sucks and how much I suck, stuff I am quite aware of, why don't you share your ideal closer movie, with your otps and hcs? I would love to see what you would like to see, so long as it doesn't involve attacking anybody else with differing opinions. And now, this insanity.  Warning it’s reaaaaallllly long. 

Edit: Here’s a link to the Next part.

(Note: I wrote the above earlier this morning on the way to church, and the rest below later in the afternoon, and at the moment of writing this note, I’ve been working on this for about two hours, and I am nowhere near finishing it. So I will be finishing this post somewhere around the first act of my goofy pretend movie synopsis (Which is much longer than a synopsis should be because I keep going into more and more details.) and continue this undertaking in a future post or posts, provided this website isn’t shut down. (In which case, find me on Dischord under Dappie.)

I would open this with something I like to call creative recap credits, think Sam Raimi’s Spiderman 2. Once this sequence came to an end it would bleed into an actual scene, our Heroes are gathered together for Allura Day as per usual, just catching up. This is where I would bring the audience up to speed on their character development, and set up some Major and sub-plots. Hunk is gushing about his and Shay’s wedding, but he’s having trouble picking the main cook for the reception (He can’t decide between Romelle’s great instincts and Vrepit Sal’s experience and seniority. This should serve as a comedic subplot, and that’s all I’m going to say about it unless anyone asks for me to expand on it. Honestly, it’s probably something that would wind up scrapped for time.) Hunk is insisting that they better make it there, even if there is a world ending catastrophe. Now from everybody’s response, except Keith we’ll get to him, we get a little more insight into our characters. Shiro is content, but would secretly like to have a little more adventure. Lance seems to be flirtatious again, however his flirtations are focused on a single target. The target in question, Pidge, is receptive, yet hesitant. While this conversation goes down, Keith suddenly looks off in a random direction and asks the others if they hear something. Everybody seems confused, and they tell him that they don’t hear anything. However, Keith is not reassured and declares that something isn’t right. He walks away from the table, with Lance making a quip I’d imagine, and goes in search of the sound, at which point, we also begin to hear what he’s hearing. A woman humming. He as he approaches the humming becomes a little clearer and more familiar. In fact, so familiar that he begins to doubt it’s real. But Lo and behold, he turns that corner and there she is! Allura alive and well. Keith is completely shocked and begins bombarding her with questions, but she just keeps humming, as if she can’t hear him. This raises some red flags within him, and he cautiously asks again. “Allura, it is you, right?” To which the humming finally stops, and in a jump-scare like thing abruptly turns towards him and screams “We’re running out of time!” Suddenly, Keith is bombarded with visions of random parts of the galaxy, finally settling on the Allura Nebula. And then Keith wakes up. 

Cut to the interior of a bedroom, a communication device is ringing. The couple, Shiro and Curtis, groan in annoyance. 

Shiro: Why would anybody be calling us this late?

Curtis: It’s obviously your boyfriend.

Shiro: Hilarious. 

Curtis: This isn’t even my best material. 

After a little more better written exchange, Shiro finally picks it up. It is in fact Keith, and he’s calling to tell him about this dream he just had. We learn that he’s been having dreams like this for something going on a year now, and that the incident we saw in the Dream happened a few months ago, minus the whole Allura thing. Shiro advises him to maybe try to find out what exactly those flashes are, and although Keith is a bit doubtful, the recurring dreams do remind of the time he could somewhat sense the Blue Lion, only on a bigger scale. After their conversation end, Curtis asks if Keith had another cosmic dream. After, Shiro confirms this, he tells him about how Keith is finally going to try to find out what the visions contain, which might result in some kind of galactic road. Curtis asks him if he’s tempted to go, but Shiro denies that, claiming he’s had enough adventures to last a lifetime before kissing him and snuggling up to him. However, you can see from their facial expression that Shiro’s not completely telling the truth, and that Curtis doesn’t really believe him. 

In our next scene, we see Pidge welcoming a new batch of students to the premises. As she is making her grand speech she is suddenly interrupted by an officer, I’m thinking an alien, telling her that he is here to see her. She tells the officer that she’s in the middle of something, but the officer says that he told her say it was urgent. Pidge rolls her eyes as she sighs exasperatedly, and tells Chip to take over for her, who had seemingly been standing behind her the whole time. He eagerly takes over, and begins by asking who would like to try out the anti-gravity room? 

A note on Chip, I’d like to imagine him as a lovable little dink that instantly endears himself to all that meet him. He serves as Pidge’s little assistant, and is constantly updating his database on all scientific breakthroughs, but personality-wise is just fascinated by everything, and adores everyone, but none more than Dr. Pidge/Ms. Katie, his primary creator, and his Uncle Lance. My dream cast would be Sam Lavignino, aka CatBug, or someone with a similar energy and instant likability, slightly older sounding than the CatBug character. We’ll get back to him. Be afraid.

Pidge approaches the person who summoned by saying ‘For Quiznack’s Sake, you can’t keep on declaring an emergency every time you want to hang out with me, Lance! I had to make Chip take over my orientation tour for me. Do you know how irresponsible I’ll look to these new cadets now that dumped my job on my childlike android, right on the first day’

‘Well, if you don’t want me to pull the emergency card, then you should stop responding to it. And besides, you wind up having Chip substitute for most of the semester anyway, because you would rather be tinkering than lecturing. And they’re in good hands, he knows your material frontwards and back, plus he has better people skills than you.’

‘How dare you.’ she responds in fake outrage, at which they both laugh. ‘So why are you here. what’s the ‘urgent matter’ that made you abandon your farm.’ 

‘I’ll have you know, I’m here on official business too. You’re mother had another breakthrough in agricultural science, and I wanted to see if I could put this knew knowledge to use at my farm.’

‘Uhuh,’ she responds.

‘As for the urgent matter, I heard that some nerd was working on her birthday, which seriously comes into conflict with my plans to pamper and spoil her, and that’s just unforgivable.’

‘For the last time, I don’t need to do anything special for my birthday, I’m an adult!’ 

‘Then I guess you don’t want to see the ancient piece of technology, I accidentally unearthed.’ He says as he casually walks away.

‘You’re right, I don’t.’ She says as she begins to walk the other way. Only to turn around with the excuse, that she might as well have a look at it, since he brought it all the way here.

Lance shows her the tech, which may or may not turn into a macguffin later on, and Pidge is clearly impressed. It’s not quite as advanced as anything they have today, but definitely more sophisticated than its carbon dating (Is that a thing you do with objects?) would imply. She’s excitedly gushing about it, and tells him something to the gist of, ‘You didn’t have to do this.’ to which Lance responds something like, ‘I would do anything to make this happy.’ This suddenly makes everything a bit too real for Pidge, and her demeanor drops as she turns to have a solemn conversation that they had clearly had many times, when Chip comes around leading the group of cadets, who for some reason all have some kind sweet snack in their hands, and telling them general academic tour stuff in a cheery voice, only to drop everything and hug-tackle Lance once he sees him, all star-eyed and delighted to see his other favorite person. One of the cadets, does not quite know who Lance is asks about it. Chip is personally offended that there is somebody who doesn’t recognize the Lance Serrano (Or whatever your preferred last name for him is, in this pretend movie I intend to give everybody their missing last names.) on sight, and immediately begins launching into all his accomplishments, which of course impresses the cadets. They start bombarding him with questions, until Pidge tells them to stop, and then tells them to ask their questions one at a time. So an impromptu Q & A session commences in which it is confirmed that Lance is not Altean, (A self-indulgence for me, because it frustrates how many people have run with this fact, despite the marks being the only Altean trait he exhibits.) culminating in one of the cadets meekly asking if he would do a flight demonstration for them. At first he tries to decline, but Chip is excited by the idea, and Pidge eggs him on, bringing up the whole Tailor line. Lance takes her aside and asks her what she is doing. She responds that since he disrupted her job, he better make amends by contributing to the tour. He complains that he hasn’t flown so much as a cargo-jet in years, and how does she expect him to fly one of their state-of-the-art, not to mention sinfully expensive fighter-jets, without damaging it. ‘Please, a pro like you, it will be like riding a bike. And if you do crash it, I’ll take responsibility.’

‘Right.’

‘And I’ll go along with whatever other birthday surprises you have in store for me, without complaint.’

‘...’

‘And it would make Chip really, really happy.’

‘That’s playing dirty, you know I can’t say no to my favorite android.’

And so he goes along with it. At first he’s a bit hesitant, worried about so much as scuffing the fancy new jet, but before long he’s enjoying himself, and showboating to all the kids on the ground. Pidge looks up at him with a face similar to the one he was making earlier when he was watching her gush over the piece of tech. 

And we are with Keith again. He goes about trying to learn more about his dreams by asking his fellow Blades if they know someone, or something, that can help you get information from your subconscious. Zethrid says that she thinks she remembers an Alien race that could dreamwalk, and seeing as Keith doesn’t have much to go on, he decides to head out there. Acxa elects to go with him, as she is also familiar with the quadrant of space that this race resides in, and it’s a bit disorienting for the uninitiated. They get there, and convince the race to help Keith out. He is but in pseudo sleep state, and this time the memory is of the time he visited his father’s grave with Krolia. (We’re facing the front of the gravestone this time. And yes, we do finally find out Texas Kogane’s name.) Once again he hears Allura’s humming, except now it is slowed down. He approaches it, and again the visions start coming. But this time he is able to get a good look at all the images flashing in front of his eyes. They don’t mean anything to him, but in the last one, not only does he see a nebula that resembles Allura, but a small silhouette that looks suspiciously like...Voltron? The dreamwalkers have copies of all the images he saw thankfully, because a race like their’s would have found a way to transfer information out of a mind directly into images (Sort of a similar school of thinking like the Altean memory hologram things.) Back at the Blade’s headquarters, he asks if anybody know’s where the nebula is located. Nobody has ever seen something like it, but a few of them, including Zethrid, Ezor, and Axca, seem to recognize a couple of the other images. They realize that the other locations must be a path to the nebula, so Keith recruits those that knew were to find those locations to set out on reconnaissance mission. 

Here I’d like to jump around a bit. We’ll keep switching between Keith and crew’s journey, and Pidge’s Birthday Celebration. In attendance of this dinner are Hunk and Shay--Naturally, as they prepared the food--The Holt family including N-7 and Chip, Shiro and Curtis, and of course Lance. I would like this to be one of the more lighter spots in the movie, where we just see everybody’s dynamic with each other, and just exist, because after this act it’s going to get pretty heavy. One of the things that I would like to happen is that there is a projection in the background highlighting Pidge’s greatest achievements. (Including a clip of Chip first going operational, his first words being, ‘Please, define the word ‘mom’. Nevermind, I have found the definition in my Database. Be very afraid.) The party scene comes to an end, just as Keith’s expedition reach the Nebula. He decides to approach it alone in a cruiser, despite the disapproval of the rest of the crew. He claims that he has a feeling that he needs to do this alone. As he is approaching the Nebula, we occasionally cut back and forth to Pidge and Lance, who are having a conversation as he walks her home. They are discussing the day they had, Pidge thanks him for forcing her to attend her own party, Lance thanks her for encouraging him to fly again. Keith’s cruiser enters the Nebula and in the center is in fact a fully formed Voltron, seemingly deactivated. Lance asks her if she would like to hang out with him more often, alone. This devolves into a conversation (Heavily inspired by a textpost from @sp4c3-0ddity. I’ll try to find the link later.) about why them dating is or isn’t a good idea. Keith gets closer to Voltron, and realizes that it seems protecting something in its arms. The conversation grows more dramatic. Keith finally reaches Voltron, and discovers that there is some kind of a force field containing a floating young woman in the same position as the Nebula. (Wearing a light dress, because this is a family picture.) The force field allows his cruiser to pass through, and his scanners or whatsits indicate that there is a breathable atmosphere within. He opens his cruiser door? I don’t know spacecraft lingo, sue me and reaches out for the woman and brings her inside. He closes the door/hatch/whatever quickly because the moment he takes a hold of the woman the force field begins the dissipate and Voltron appears to be separating. The woman, who at the very least resembles Allura, flutters her eyes open and when her gaze locks on Keith she says ‘You’re here! Thank the Ancients, you’re here. Now we can...’ and she falls unconscious again. Meanwhile, Lance and Pidge have reached the climax of their argument. He doesn’t understand why she doesn’t want start a relationship when it’s clear there is something between them, and she says that it’s because she can’t be who he wants her to be. 

‘I just want you to be you, why else would I be asking you out? And don’t tell me this is because of Allura. Of course I still love her, but she’s gone now, and I am more than ready to move on. She wouldn’t want me to be in mourning for the rest of my life. Quiznak, if Curtis and Shiro could make it work despite their deceased loved ones than you have no excuse.’

‘That’s different, I knew Allura. She was one of my closest friends. I couldn’t do that to her. I wouldn’t even be able to look at you without feeling guilty. You literally have her mark on you.’

‘Stop making this about other people, and just tell me how you feel!’ 

‘This is how I feel! Why won’t you listen to me?! Trust me, if we did this I would not be able to focus on us, because I would always have her in mind, and that wouldn’t be fair to any of us.’

Lance sighs. ‘Look, if you’re not interested in me then just tell me. But don’t act like you’re doing me a favor by refusing to date me.’ 

‘My feelings for you don’t matter! I’ve been in love with you since before we even met Allura, that’s why we can’t do this! Because I would be taking advantage of her absence!’ Her eyes widen in Shock, and she covers in mouth in mortification, clearly not wanting to reveal that much. Lance is surprised too, never realizing that her feelings run that deep. 

‘Pidge, you’re not...’ Their communication devices start ringing. Cut to the other former Paladins, who’s devices are also ringing. The pick it up and are shocked by Keith’s message. 

‘I found Allura. She’s returned!’ 

Pidge and Lance look at each other uncertainly, not knowing what this development to them. 

And this is where I stop for now. Ain’t I a stinker? Because as of writing this sentence it has almost been five hours and I need me a break. 

To be continued probably....

[podination]

Movement posts

Session target: My target was to improve my level of concentration in lesson as I believe my main setback is my lack of focus. Improving my mental stamina will allow me to be much more productive rehearsing in lesson and when completing written tasks. I believe being able to achieve a high level of general disciple will also greatly increase my chances of succeeding in the industry.

Exercises: In the previous  lesson, we were split into multiple  groups and created a choreography routine that we used to accompany our times table chant. In today's lesson, we edited our routine in order to make the piece more dynamic. We achieved this by adding a use of multiple levels to our choreography to make the piece more visually stimulating as well as minorly changing the group’s formation as to allow smoother transitions. We spent much of the lesson rehearsing this slightly altered version until we were able to perform it with nearly immaculate synchronization.  We also played a version of “What time is it, Mr Wolf?” in which those whose goal it was to reach the “wolf” had to move in a improvised and original style of traveling to reach their goal. We were encouraged to creatively incorporate each other into the movement.  The exercise was recorded and we were tasked with recreating our movements a second time to create a piece out of our initial improvisation.

Strengths: I performed the piece to the best of my ability throughout the lesson. Despite not particularly enjoying the group work, I didn’t allow that to effect my performance. I am relatively proud my creative use body in the “What time is it, Mr Wolf task.

Weaknesses: I found it frustratingly difficult to recite the times tables while accurately performing the routine. In order to perform this piece effectively, I must learn my times tables thoroughly enough as to be able to recite them without the need to consciously remember them while performing. Despite my target revolving around mental disciple, I found myself lacking focus due to my tiredness on this particular day. Also due to my tiredness, I didn’t contribute as many ideas to the group as I usually do.    

Target:

Arrive in lesson more physically ready to rehearse by taking the necessary precautions to prevent me from being as tired as I was this day.

2.  Motivate myself more effectively. I will achieve this by focusing on the challenge involved in work that I don’t necessarily enjoy.

3. Exploit my creative ability and apply it more frequently to my physical movement tasks.

Blog 2

In preparation for today's lesson, each group was tasked with creating a presentation about the play we had chosen to adapt for this project, in our case, it was the 1956 play, ‘Look Back in Anger’ by John Osborne. The play that we chose, I was previously unfamiliar with but after reading it, I agreed with Matt who proposed the use of this play.

We chose this play because the themes of domestic conflict and reconciliation can be creatively explored in a non-verbal fashion, making them excellent subjects for portraying in a physical performance. I also believe that despite the age of the play, the subject matters present in the piece are universal and timeless. The personalities of the characters are also well defined yet nuanced in nature, making them interesting to portray. We decided to choose the first act to use in our piece as it shows the audience the everyday relationship between Alison and Jimmy in more depth than the later chapters. The fact that it runs parallel to the final act, also adds significance to the events that occur in it. The way that the conflict between the characters escalates from the start to the end of this particular act I thought would be interesting to explore.

In the lesson, each group presented their research about the play to the class and performed the first scene of the play to the class. Due to the fact that the level three group was significantly larger than any other group and double the size of the accumulated roles in any given scene, we split the group in half and decided to perform two different versions of the same piece. One of the ways that ours and the other half of our group's version of the scene deviated from each other was the way in which my character of Jimmy was portrayed. In our version of the scene I played Jimmy as merely a callus man with a flippant sense of humour while Matt played Jimmy as aggressive and more advertently cruel. I discovered, upon further research, that many suspect the portrayal of Jimmy’s behavior to be intentionally ambiguous and that he is often portrayed slightly different from director to director depending on their interpretation of the character’s motives.

Strength: I am quite proud of myself and my group's performance from ‘Look back in Anger’  as I believe we did an effective job at portraying the escalating tension that exists in the scene.

I arrived early to rehearse our piece and I was well engaged this lesson. I managed to avoid distractions.

Weaknesses: I could have been slightly more familiar with my lines but I knew them well enough to perform the piece.

My target for this lesson was to perform my assessment piece to the best of my ability.

In this lesson we were given 5-10 minutes warm up time before we performed

First, we got into a circle and a few took turns to stand up in pairs and was tasked with making the other person laugh without making a sound or touching them. I didn’t get a chance to do this but I think it was a good idea for helping to bring some of the more reserved members of the class out of their shell, ready for this highly exaggerated acting style of this project. We was also showed four different styles of silent comedy. Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Benny Hill and Rowan Atkinson. Out of the three historical examples, Buster Keaton’s style in my opinion, will be most likely to appeal to a modern audiences and Benny Hill’s was the most obsolete. I believe this because, out of the three Keatons was the least exaggerated in style. I think our society’s taste in comedy has become much more subtle in style since silent movies were mainstream.

In this lesson were told that our next assignment was to create a five minute silent movie over the next few weeks which, in small groups we would create independently. The goal of the project was to parody an existing genre of film. I decided to work with Georgie as I think that we collaborate well together. Olivia and Kieran joined us soon after. After we had established our groups, we were tasked with creating a silent,  comedic scene. We decided to create a sketch about the frustration of last minute christmas shopping, The scene consisted of a customer starting to lose his patience while waiting in a busy cue. He arrives at the front only to discover that the customer in front of him purchased the last ipad. The enraged customer causes a scene and aggressively confronts the shop keeper. After a long exchange with the apathetic shopkeeper, the customer is assaulted by the customer behind him for holding up the cue with his antics. The shopkeeper then happily served this customer while the unconscious protagonist lays slouched over the counter, unconscious.  The scene was very quickly devised and therefore was not as well executed as it perhaps could have been, in my opinion.

In this scene, I portrayed the shopkeeper, Georgie portrayed the disgruntled customer, Olivia portrayed the violent customer and Keiren, the satisfied customer that bought the last ipad. The humour in this scene was intended to be derived from three main elements. The first is the visible and escalating frustration of Georgie’s character when he cues impatiently. The second is the juxtaposition between the animated and furious outburst of Georgie’s character and the apathetic and pseudo-sympathetic reaction of my character during the confrontation. The third is the final irony of Georgie’s character being assaulted for the same reason he lost his temper in the first place, impatience and frustration.

I think I did a good job at directing the scene, considering we didn’t have long to devise it.

I think my group did a good job at performing the scene.

For our war movie parody, I devised several concepts for a few unrelated scenes in my spare time. I pitched the ideas to my group and they agreed on these ideas. In preparation for this project, I watched ‘Saving Private Ryan’ to give me ideas about what kind of scenes we could satirize. We arranged to meet on a saturday afternoon and I told the group to gather anything remotely military-like in appearance. Our plan was to then purchase any props that we were lacking and to walk to my local woodland area to record the piece. Due to the fact that we didn’t have any gun props between us, I purchased two toy rifles from a local toy shop.  My first concept consisted of a scene where two pairs of soldiers hide from each other behind two parallel trees. The first pair would throw a grenade into the other's position before, to their surprise, the other soldiers throw the grenade back before it detonates. The reactions of the soldiers at first to the grenade would be of fear and desperation, however, the tension begins to de-escalate after the grenade is thrown between the camps multiple times and so the efforts to get rid of it become increasingly more casual. The scene ends with Kieren's character sacrificing himself by running to and diving on top of the grenade, despite the fact that both him and his comrade were nowhere near it to start with. The scene ends with Georgie’s character observing the sacrifice with comical apathy.

I decided to choose a ‘war-parody’, not only because of the fact that I enjoy war movies but also because creating a slapstick sketch set against the backdrop of a war afforded me the opportunity to incorporate black humour into our sketch. This is because I gravitate towards the genre of ‘dark comedy’, in general. Considering that Dark comedy is a relatively niche film genre, I believe that many of them have been able to achieve one of the primary purposes of art very effectively, which is to be able to manipulate the audience's emotions than any other genre, which is to be able to manipulate the audience's emotions. When films of this genre are well executed, they are often able to evoke two polar-opposite emotions in an audience, amusement and sorrow. Many of my favourite black comedies like ‘In Bruges’ and ‘Trainspotting’ are able to blend these two moods seamlessly. By doing so, they are able to profoundly manipulate the audience's emotions more effectively than films of any other genre. The oxymoronic nature of many great black comedies is what I wished to replicate in my own silent movie.

In this lesson, we were given feedback on what we had created so far. Despite the fact that we had around 5 minutes of usable but unedited footage which we recorded over the course of several hours, we were only able to open the deleted scenes that were under thirty seconds over facebook. We were requested to reshoot our entire piece due to the fact that the costumes we used were deemed by Rachael to be unauthentic. As a group we did not know that the piece was required to be time specific in context to when silent movies were popular. The fact that we were unable to acquire authentic costumes and only had a small groups of actors made sense in the context of this piece, as the conflicting factions are a special forces unit and an terrorist cell. The Inspiration behind the main character’s faction’s costumes (Olivia and I) was the utilitarian uniform of a private contactor, Their body protection is often minimal for mobility purposes and their outfits tend to incorporate civilian apparel to allow them to blend in. The inspiration for the enemy faction’s costumes (Georgie’s and Kieren) was the makeshift look of a terrorist or paramilitary uniform. Rachael’s main complaint, in terms of the costumes was the fact that she wanted authentic world war 2 era costumes to be used.  We then set out to create another piece on the following weekend from scratch and in the meantime, attempt to acquire world war 2 military uniforms. We were unable to get our hands on anything that remotely resembled these uniforms and neither Olivia or Kieren was present for our second filming session so Georgie and I created a secondary silent sketch in the same vein as our first.  The film we created consisted of an enemy soldier stationed in a woods while showing off his guns to the camera. The behavior of this character was a loosey satirizing a scene from the Movie, Taxi Driver.