#I don’t think Abby is someone who is fun to make friends with but Ellie is still trying go for it girl

[devil-doll13]

Wax & Wane

(Part 4)

Tw: References to past injuries/scars, kinda angsty, Abigail is thinking about murder but Ellie calms her down basically lol, also Abby is very awkward, Blood, Swearing, I think that’s it?

Ellie belongs to @rottent33th! Also thanks to her for ideas <3

Percy who is mentioned here belongs to @the-pinstriped-hood, and I also mention Ava who belongs to @slaasherslut!

To be honest I was bumbling about for most of this but I think the newfound friendship between Ellie and Abigail is really sweet. Anyway, enjoy, sorry it took so long!

Summary: Abigail is left to clean herself up after the two Sinclair brothers had attacked her, and receives an unexpected visitor who changes her mind on returning the favour.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Dividers by firefly-graphics

Hot, steaming water cascaded over her injured body and stung her freshly-stitched wounds, scorching her skin as she painfully winced in response. Ugly purple welts and thinner, more methodical slits that were permanently carved into her flesh seemed to have become angrily inflamed under the boiling spray. Her cracked ribs - the less visible of her impairments - were achingly sore and left her wheezing for every gasp of air. All in all, she was left hurt and dazed after her scuffle with the two Sinclair brothers. Wringing a hand through her stringy locks, Abigail watched glumly as rusty reddish-brown residue dribbled down her cut calves and feet where it disappeared into the steel drain.

The woman that had argued for her release - Whose name she’d garnered was Percy, short for Persephone Jones, the best-selling fucking author - had very subtly and politely hinted that she needed to clean herself, and she found herself in full agreement. Had it not been for the fact that she’d just walked right into a ghost town, fixing her hygiene would’ve been a high priority; except for the fact that evading mortal peril was.

Abigail wrenched the knob back and the steady stream of hot water ceased. She huffed and pulled the faded floral-patterned shower curtain open to step dripping onto a scratchy, worn out towel, then wound another tightly in her wet hair. The first thought of rendering herself naked and vulnerable in such hostile territory had not been an appealing one, but she admitted with some relief that her newfound cleanliness was worth it. No longer did the odorous sweat, filth and grime irritate her; replaced instead by the pleasant scent of rose-scented shampoo she’d sneakily nicked off the bathroom shelf.

After she’d groggily redressed in the furtive, shuttered shade of the house’s old bedroom - for she still did not dare to fall asleep in these conditions - Abigail padded quietly down the scratchily carpeted stairs and into the ancient yellowed kitchen. She pulled open a nearby cupboard, liberating a choice mug and teaspoon from the lower drawer. Then, she switched on the old kettle and sat down on a rickety wooden chair, rather smug. See, the other thing she’d pinched on the sly was a coffee container, which she thought might serve to keep her upright and conscious for the time being. It was here she allowed her nerves to relent slightly, lazily slumping back in her chosen seat and ignoring the pinch in her side as she did so. She pondered for a moment, closely observing the peeling wallpaper and behind it; the gradual buildup of mould festering there. Still, she had roomed in significantly filthier and sleazier boarding houses and motels. How sad was it that this place was actually rather inviting in comparison?

This once empty, abandoned home - which despite sitting dusty and neglected, mysteriously still had working electricity and plumbing - Percy had offered to Abigail as a sort of consolation gift. She narrowed her eyes sharply in thought. It seemed to her a strange act of charity, considering how dangerously close she was to holding the bespectacled writer hostage and using her as a bullet sponge; against her own devil of a lover no less.

…Which was exactly why she suspected she had ulterior motives. She knew this was a kind of soft imprisonment; Abigail was under house arrest until further notice deemed her fit to leave again. Or perhaps she would never leave at all; perhaps they all wanted her dull and drowsy so the moment she let her guard down, Bo would finish the job. A cold, spiteful resentment churning in her gut urged her to take advantage of this lull in their little murder operation to set up a counterattack of her own. It would be remiss to not acknowledge she was as prolific a killer as the Sinclairs were, after all, and they had severely injured a witch’s pride.

Abigail scowled. She would absolutely love to cruelly slaughter them all once she recovered in false docility; that seemed only fair and proper after that leering mechanic Bo had forced her into such an awkward arrangement… But despite her raw indignation at the fact, she had no way to get ahold of her invaluable grimoire, seeing as he so jealously guarded her car. Evidently he hoped to keep her within arms’ reach should his beloved decide she was no longer off limits for him to kill.

("Go’on, git’, before I try an' make Percy change her mind..." A sharp warning flashed in his icy blue eyes, though he carelessly snorted)

But more than that, it truly horrified her that she still couldn’t help but feel comforted by Percy’s gentle care and maternal aura. She radiated a sort of familial affection that Abigail had long wished for but never been truly allowed. That, and the fact that, despite Abigail’s behaviour, she had still been offered nothing but kindness from Percy. This elicited within her something akin to guilt; a foreign sensation that felt hard and rotten in her heart. Guilt, perhaps, that she had acted hastily against an unknown, that just moments ago she’d had thoughts of murdering her. It would normally be so easy to wash her blood off her hands and move on, but this time things were… different. It would actually be more terrifying if Percy was being genuine, that would mean she could cut right through her protective shell. She wasn’t ready to become that helpless and vulnerable again, but it was such a tempting warmth that Percy offered…

Abigail shook her head to dispel the notion. She’d sworn off emotional weakness of any sort since her resurrection; yet she still had those stupid yearnings inside of her that she desperately needed to be rid of. That would be the only way she would find peace and acceptance in who she was; what she was.

She’s using manipulation tactics and you’ve fallen right into her trap… You know better than that by now, Abigail, surely?

Better to be distant and detached than have those unrealistic hopes crushed again.

The rattling kettle puffed to a halt, and Abigail stood up wearily to pour heated water into her mug and stir. For a moment she focused solely on the satisfying clink of the teaspoon against ceramic as the aromatic brew began to turn a dark, swarthy brown. It would’ve been perfect if she had a tin of cinnamon on hand, but beggars couldn’t exactly be choosers, now could they?

Abruptly, she picked up the sound of the door being opened in the entrance hallway and bristled like a disturbed feline.

Is it Bo, come to rub salt in the wound? Vincent, so he can stand there silently, waiting for rebellion? Percy, so I’ll have to confront myself far too soon?

Instead the visitor was decidedly more unknown; a young woman who had appeared by the kitchen threshold with a swish of lavender tulle.

“Oh,” she wrinkled her nose delicately. “It’s kind of dusty in here…”

She had a soft, almost cherubic face, heart-shaped lips and uniquely multi-coloured eyes in which Abigail could detect no underlying malice or deceit; though she had instinctively been searching for it. She was certain they had never met before, but at once the woman seemed strangely familiar.

The light of realisation dawned on her then. She looks exactly like the beautiful woman I saw in Vincent’s portrait earlier…

“Hi!” The girl chirped amiably. “You’re the new arrival here, right? I’m Ellie!”

New arrival…?

Ellie beamed at her with a smile bright enough to rival the sun. Abigail almost squinted at this radiance, finding her almost as difficult to look at.

“…Oh.” She faltered for a moment, placing her teaspoon down gently. Abigail wasn’t quite sure how to react to this. Hadn’t she just moments earlier been fighting for her life? Well, perhaps it was just that she’d never had such a jovial welcome before.

Ellie was kind enough to ignore her slow response, and not discouraged in the slightest, extended a slightly paint-stained hand for her to shake.

“I’m…” Abigail eyed the violet-tangerine splotched palm, half expecting it to produce a knife to stab her with. She tried to settle on a reply.

“…The new arrival. Yes.”

“Well, welcome to Ambrose! It’s been so long since we had a proper visitor and all.” Ellie’s hand felt slightly damp, but it was warm and soft and did not cause her pain.

I had a rather funny welcome, Ellie…

Ellie might’ve been only a smidge taller than Abigail, so it was easy for them to see each other eye-to-eye. For a moment she felt an uncomfortable silence begin to kick in as she allowed her hand to be held limply. Her focus fell onto the colourful splashes on Ellie’s wrist, unwillingly.

“Would you like some…?” Abigail gestured vaguely with her teaspoon back at her coffee. No real point hiding it now. She wanted to stop this touching.

Ellie’s expression brightened further, if that was in any way possible.

“Yes please, if that’s alright!”

Well technically I stole it from you, so…

She quickly turned away and took out another mug from the kitchen drawers - as clean as one she could find - and got to work pouring Ellie a cup of coffee as well. But the woman stopped her gently, insisting that she could do it herself, so Abigail backed off.

“I’m sorry about, um…” Ellie scrunched up her face in an apologetic grimace. “How nasty it kind of is in here, but we’ll find you somewhere nicer soon!”

Abigail concealed a small sigh. It wasn’t exactly in her plans to stay in a place where she was wanted dead; she’d been through that enough already.

Does she not know what the situation is…?

“…Most of these houses are abandoned, then?” She decided to investigate a little, evading these clear attempts to soften up her guard.

The girl’s face lit up in memory. “Yes, they are… Have been for decades, really. It’s mostly just a ghost town here now. Except for us, anyway.”

Us, as in you, Percy and the two brothers…

Abigail was mildly surprised at how honest she was being. Certainly she knew this already, but it was in great contrast to Bo, who had lied to her. Perhaps it would be a good idea to interrogate this one.

“Where do you live, then?” She pressed.

“Just in a house by the outskirts of town. It’s best for my gardens, you see. And it’s wonderfully close to the forest too.” She gave her an enthusiastic little smile. “I’ll show it to you! It’s not far from here anyway, it’s basically me and Vinny’s little retreat.”

Vinny… Abigail just about mentally blanked as she recalled the man who’d just come inches away from cutting her throat an hour earlier.

So, those two both keep their lovers here…

She took a tentative sip as she contemplated this. That nasty, twisted part of her urged to take note of this for later, since it would be oh-so-easy to map out the town for her counterattack and use this girl as a bargaining chip, just as she tried to do with Percy. Ellie seemed overly optimistic and trusting, but Abigail was already expecting that point when she would recoil away from her; it was only a matter of time. This hospitality would not last, so she had to take advantage of it.

“Ok. I’ll take you up on that offer,” she said dully.

It was fine. She could simply spare Percy.

“That’s great. Like I said, not too many visitors lately, and I’m the kind of person who thrives on being able to share things, you know?”

Abigail stared rather intently at the brown-haired girl, still trying to dissect her for clues. Strangely enough, Ellie didn’t even seem unnerved by this, as she expected her to be. She smiled back, as if this was a completely normal occurrence for her. Even after she had figured out that she was the girl in the painting, Abigail still felt like there was something persistently familiar about Ellie. It was probably just that she’d known people like this before, but never really had their approval.

A silky black cat trotted in soon after the girl did and immediately made a beeline toward Abigail, winding in between her legs with a friendly purr.

“This is Salem,” the brunette said, beaming down at the kitten. “Well, he seems to like you!”

“Most cats do…” She murmured.

Abigail couldn’t help but feel charmed by this little fellow and reached down to scratch him between the ears. He chirped a sort of happy mewl in response.

I guess I can spare you as well…

“Actually.” She heard Ellie’s voice lower to a furtive, but slightly excited whisper as she stirred her coffee.

“I know there’s something different about you…”

Abigail felt her breath hitch at this. She was more or less waiting for the other pin to drop, but would it happen so fast?

“Different?” She watched the other girl warily.

“Oh!” Ellie exclaimed. It was as if she’d taken herself by surprise. She flushed slightly. “I don’t mean it in a bad way, I just…”

Ellie scooched closer. “I know you did something really, um… Magical. At least, I think Bo was saying something like that.”

Abigail leaned back against the counter, letting Salem rub his dark furry head against her boots. She knew she had reacted a little too fast, but… She eyed Ellie dubiously.

So you know I reanimated your boyfriend’s statue?

“And you believe in magic?” She probed. It came out as more condescending than she intended.

“Yes!” Ellie said eagerly. “I actually know a bit…”

It was then. She’d lifted her hand to rearrange her hair, and Abigail caught it. That spoon was moving on its own. The coffee was stirring itself.

That’s… Actual…

“…Do you normally do spells without realising it?” She couldn’t stop herself.

Abigail now realised that feeling of strange familiarity was because she’d detected the spark in another; but this one had a far gentler power than her own.

Ellie’s brows furrowed before a moment before an expression of surprise replaced it. She looked back down at her steaming mug. “Um… Yes, that does happen sometimes.” She admitted. “I guess you caught me.”

She took the teaspoon out and blew on her coffee. Abigail had little time to think on it before Ellie bursted out into an enthusiastic rant.

“Ok, ok, so I was honestly really excited, because this is the first time we’ve had another witch here in Ambrose, so I got up in the middle of painting…” She displayed her hands. “…Just to see you! You did cast a spell back there, didn’t you?”

“…In a manner of speaking, yes.”

Not a particularly nice one, though…

“See, I knew it. You definitely have a sort of… Aura, so I can tell. I’ve always been good with that.” Ellie pulled out a chair and sat down rather neatly, tucking her dress underneath herself. It was a rather grand gown she was wearing, Abigail realised. Again, she was struck by the feeling that this bright young woman felt out of place in this dingy town.

“I should’ve recognised it in you before, honestly.” Abigail bit her lip as she pulled up her own chair, and Salem hopped into her lap. “But you don’t have a nasty bone in your body, do you? I’ll admit, I haven’t as much experience with light magick spells.” She remarked, peering at Ellie’s rosy face.

Ellie blushed, as if she’d just complimented her.

“I mean, I don’t like the idea of hurting anyone with it… I mostly use it to help my garden along, grow some of the more difficult plants and use it to bake, that sort of thing.” She played with her fingers absentmindedly.

“…That’s amazing. I could never do that.” Abigail admitted, running a hand over Salem’s smooth fur. She genuinely meant it, too, despite herself.

Ellie’s face turned an even darker shade of pink.

“But I’m pretty sure those lightning bolts from earlier were yours, right? I’ve never seen someone conjure an entire storm before. Are you a powerful witch?”

Now it was Abigail’s turn to feel bashful.

“I… I can only do black magick, I’m not at all skilled in other kinds. Not like you.” She looked back to Ellie’s mug. That sort of quiet, peaceful spell was difficult for her, someone only used to harming others. But Ellie could do it effortlessly; without even thinking.

At the same time, she was astounded. This was almost an out of body experience; since when did anyone admire her disease and destruction? How was it that this girl seemed completely unperturbed by the monster sitting across from her?

Ellie reached over to clasp their hands together, and Abigail’s eyes shot open in surprise. To her own astonishment, she didn’t pull away. Salem jumped down from Abigail’s lap with a ‘mrrrp’ sound, padding out into the hallway where he disappeared.

“This is so nice. I’d love to show you everything I’ve collected over the years! I have this pretty crystal ball I’ve been trying to scry with, but I’ve taken well enough to divining tarot readings for everyone. Oh, you have to meet Ava too! Do you like art? I think I get a bit of a magic touch when painting sometimes.” It seemed Ellie was fit to burst, unable to contain her excitement, and she bounced up and down in her chair. For Abigail, it was infectious.

And who is Ava…?

“Yes, actually. What were you… Painting?” A thread of curiosity tugged at her brain and refused to stop. She thought back to her own artwork still imprisoned in her car. She imagined that Ellie’s were far less reflective of that inner wrongness; more uplifting.

“My new crocuses! See, that’s why I used a lot of purple. They really just liven up the flowerbeds, you know?” Ellie’s hands still clung to Abigail’s, still not recoiling in horror and the cold and pallor. “And purple’s kind of one of my favourite colours, so…”

“It’s one of mine, too…” She said softly.

Abigail could feel herself slipping again; in the same way she’d gotten carried away with Percy, even with Bo around. Her will to fight was slowly drained by a combination of fatigue and desperation to feel a smidge of affection. She realised the vibrant paint had rubbed off on herself, splotched on her own drab wrists. Then she realised she didn’t even mind.

I’ll have to spare Ellie, too. Or… Will I attack at all?

“Wait, I just realised. I’ve been so rude, I haven’t asked for your name!” Ellie leaned forward to fix her with an earnest gaze, and Abigail stiffened.

She was starting to doubt herself, which wasn’t good. How could she ever do that, when she alone made decisions regarding her fate? When she swore she would never relinquish that control again? She felt herself spiral as Ellie gave her a sisterly squeeze on her trembling hands. For a moment, Abigail studied Ellie’s features. No repulsion, no fear. A sort of acceptance and kinship she had never felt before.

“But don’t worry, it’s okay if you don’t want to tell me yet… Just do it in your own time.” Ellie’s voice was soothing and patient, as if she’d read her thoughts. It made her heart ache. How many times had she wished for this? Was it too good to be true?

Then, she made her decision.

(“Names have… Power. It’s not wise to give them away so freely.” Her own words echoed in her mind)

“Abigail.” She finally spoke, smiling shyly, and squeezed her warm hands back.

(Taglist: @rottent33th, @slaasherslut, @the-pinstriped-hood, @goldrose-star, @soupbabe, @bluecoolr, @flower-crowned-lady, @vincent-sinclair-deserved-better, @solmints-messyocdiary)

[the-record]

CASUAL.

SUMMARY: you want all of her, but abby only wants a friend

PAIRING: college!fwb!abby anderson x reader

A/N: i hate this a little but this is for the person who wanted a casual fic under the abby tag this is for u 💋💋 ur genius bc yes i love abby&casual&chappell so yes here

my masterlist

‘ I’M JUST A GIRL THAT YOU BANG ON YOUR COUCH ’

abby: babyyyyyyyt

abby: when ate you cming overrrrrrtt

angel: when you’re sober!

abby: boooooooooooooooooo

angel: i can come over tomorrow, i work tn anyways

abby: fine

abby: miss u

angel: miss u too babes

“you’re still with her?” dina asks while she reads over your shoulder. “didn’t she ghost you and come back like nothing happened?”

your thumb locks your phone as you turn it over on your lap. “so?” you turn to face the brunette, “its nothing serious anyways.” you have to defend yourself against dina and her girlfriend, ellie, way too often.

“tell that to angel three weeks ago crying in my apartment.” ellie piped up. “we’re just trying to be good friends.”

dina wraps her arms around your shoulders as you turn back around. “exactly babes, we love you.”

“whatever.”

you’re both quiet. an artist you dont know sings soft words while crickets harmonize. abby��s fingers run up and down your bare back and yours tangle in her hair. usually, the girl has an ample amount of topics to bring up, but tonight the jar runs empty.

“what are we?” you question. abby’s hand slows before settling on your lower back, toying with the band of her boxers that you wear.

she sighs before answering, thinking about what to say. “friends?” you snort in response. “i don’t know, i told you i wasn’t ready for anything serious right now. you knew what you were getting into.”

you push off of her and sit up with a soft groan. her room is dark but you’re able to find the tee you wore when you came over. the girl reaches for your hand but you pull away.

“i’m going home for the weekend, if you want to come with.” she smiles when she sees one pull at your face first. “it’ll be fun, a couple days away to seattle? hm?”

you face the blonde, now propped up on her forearm, a tousled braid over her naked shoulder. you give in so easy. especially when her lips find yours.

angel: can someone feed alice for me this weekend?

dina: yea ofc

angel: thanks hon

ellie: why cant u? wya

angel: going out of town :)))

ellie: with?

dina: stop interrogating her babe

ellie: no no

ellie: angel who and where

angel: seattle

dina: with who

angel: werent u on my side????

ellie: BRO

ellie: NO CHANCE OMFG

dina: angel dont omf

angel: i didnt even say who??????????????

ellie: ur so guility

angel: and youre so illiterate “guility”

dina: so defensive holy shit

dina: omg u are going with her

angel: omfg get off my dick

ellie: u literally never listen dude

angel: says u

ellie: tf does that mean

angel: cat?

dina: angel wtf thats low

ellie: ykw

ellie: she literally has a new girl every weekend

ellie: you’re just another fwb girl and u know it

ellie: have fun in seattle.

angel: i will thx xoxo.

her dad is sweet, a surgeon as abby brags. you can tell they’re close. he is observant and does his best to make you comfortable. their home is cozy, fireplaces with incredibly old family photos on the mantle. her senior portraits are hung in the staircase. you learn a million and one things about her on the trip.

she loves blue. big hiker. could play board and card games all day. doesn’t love to smoke. she hasn’t changed her room since the 6th grade. they can make a mean chocolate chip cookie.

you learn one that stays in the front of your mind during breakfast, and lunch, and dinner, and the car ride home.

“this is all just casual right? you dont actually have feelings? okay good, as long as we’re on the same page.”

when you come home, ellie ignores you as she moves around cleaning the dinner mess in the kitchen. when dina asks how the trip was, you leave out one small part.

“it was great. we went on an amazing hike and her dad is so kind, i had a lot of fun.”

she offers dinner bur you kindly deny, saying you were tired from the drive and just needed sleep. she smiled and sent you off with a quick hug and an ‘i love you’.

you continue to see abby.

she’s softer and kinder after that weekend. she kisses gently and sweetly. she takes you out on dates. you call her name in the passenger seat of her truck in a field in the middle of nowhere. it’s different now.

you don’t tell dina or ellie.

abby’s name is brought up less when people gossip over who’s with who. you hear less of her rendezvous’ with other girls. less and less until it stops.

you ignore your feelings and enjoy the warmth of her while you still have the chance. her dad invites you back and you spend many weekends with the two, laughing and drinking wine on the couch. she sits behind you on the couch while you watch a cheesy rom-com, making fun of the cliches with you. many smiles shared and laughs sung.

your favorite sleep shirt stays at her place. her favorite hoodie is hung in your closet.

when you go out with her friends she drinks and teases you in front of them. your cheeks warm, you excuse yourself and she always finds you in the bathroom. an apology and kiss lead to more.

ellie slowly forgives you, you all hang out as friends again.

her dad says he thinks of you as his daughter.

abby says she thinks of you as a friend.

angel: we need to talk

abby: woah sounds serious lol

angel: yes it is to me

abby: yea, okay. ill be over tn?

angel: okay, lmk ill unlock the door.

abby: see u baby

angel: see u

abby knocks, she always does.

abby smiles and sits on the edge of your bed.

abby shakes her head when you start to talk.

you can’t do this anymore. “i’m done abby. we’re done.”

shes confused though, “what do you mean? i thought we have fun.”

and you do, shes not wrong. but you have fun as ‘friends’ and not lovers. you hold her as a friend. you kiss, and make love, and drink, and laugh, together, as friends.

“i told you i didn’t want a relationship!” she counters. abby stands and grabs your hands. “i wasn’t ready, you cant be mad at that.”

you smile and shake your head. “im not mad, im just over it. i want more. a label, a sense of security abby.” you sit and pull her down with you. “i dont want casual.”

when she leaves you finally open up to dina and ellie. they’re quiet, but its comfortable as you speak and they understand.

abby texts an apology that night and you react to it, a heart.

when she texts again you don’t answer.

‘ I HATE THAT I LET THIS DRAG ON SO LONG

NOW I HATE MYSELF ’

[total-dxmure]

ೃ࿔ TOTAL-DXMURE’S MASTERLIST

“so what’s it gonna take silver shadow believer…?”

most, if not all, of my fics will include detailed smut, so minors do not interact! this is my masterlist of series and oneshots. see something that piques your interest? give it a read! please make sure to read the warnings at the beginning of each fic to make sure you aren’t triggered by any of its contents.

i support and stand with palestine. in no way do i show any affiliation with neil druckmann or his zionistic views. if you are a newer fan of ellie williams or abby anderson and have stumbled across fanfics or edits on tiktok, please do not buy the games. watch playthroughs, ask to see if a friend already owns the games or pirate them. please do not buy the recently released remastered version of part II.

requests are currently open, but make sure to read my guidelines before sending something!

→ 【ellie williams’ fics】

✦ MARLEY AND ME SERIES MASTERLIST

you’re a single mom just doing the best that she can to make ends meet. ellie can’t help but think that you're the kindest, most beautiful girl that she’s ever met. compared to taking care of a little girl that's in her terrible twos, coming to terms with the fact that you’re a lesbian is a walk in the park. awkward first encounters, ellie’s broken gay-dar, and her overwhelming urge to take care of the care-giver. . . the road to domesticity is a long one, but it’s well worth the pining that it takes to get there. 

total word count: 17.1k

✦ INVISIBLE STRING THEORY SERIES MASTERLIST

the marines didn’t ruin ellie. ellie ruined ellie. after being medically discharged she feels lost. being sent to live with joel is more of a last ditch effort to save her and less of a fun reunion for the father-daughter duo. jackson is worlds different than chicago, but the fresh air and sprawling countrysides are a welcome reprieve. ellie finds herself finding comfort in more than just the change in scenery though. after losing your girlfriend due to an accident you feel as though you’ll never find love again- but that was before meeting ellie williams. the two of you figure out that you have more in common than just the fact that she and your girlfriend were both marines though. tethered by some invisible string, the two of you meeting has to be fate. who would have known that you were the golden ticket to ellie’s recovery?

total word count: 13.8k

✦ CHERRY FLAVORED MINI SERIES MASTERLIST

your guitarist was carted off to rehab after just one month into your recent tour. fuck. there’s only one thing you can do, and that’s hire a replacement. your band thinks it’s going to be nearly impossible to find someone that is on the same level of talent as your “beloved” guitarist. you don’t have high hopes that anyone can nail the songs quite like he did either, if you’re being brutally honest. enter ellie- she’s a mega fan. the girl knows every lyric and note like the back of her hand. . . and everything about you, which isn’t creepy at all. her apparent obsession with you is something that you and your tour manager can overlook if it means carrying on with the rest of the tour. forced proximity with a stalker-level fan . . . what’s the worst thing that could happen?

total word count: 4.6k

✦ KILL SWITCH SERIES !TEASER!

✦ SANGUINARIAN SERIES !TEASER!

“… spock rocker with your dirty eyes.”

[urfavoritegirlkisser]

"Someone Gets Hurt" - Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader

Tags: Fem!reader, jealous!reader, you and abby are like on again off again, manipulative!reader, reader is gaslighting, gatekeeping, and girl bossing, implied abby x Ellie, nothing happens with that it's mainly for the plot, girls kissing YIPEE!, pet names like baby and honey, lightly proof read

a/n: in honor of one of my favorite musicals being released in theaters, you all get a mean girls au where the reader is basically regina, abby is aaron, and ellie is cady. Highly recommend you listen to "Someone Gets Hurt" from the cast album to get the vibe.

It’s Halloween and you’re at a house party hosted by your ex, Abby Anderson. 

You watch the new girl, Ellie, who you’ve taken under your wing, mainly to make sure she doesn’t stomp on the work you’ve put in to become the reigning power over the student body of your high school. 

She is currently checking out Abby who is in a chugging contest with the other softball players. It makes you roll your eyes and scoff to yourself in disgust. Still, the lingering stare Ellie gives her makes you fume, so you put on your most convincing smile and walk over.

“I heard you have a crush on Abby Anderson” You say, seemingly coming from nowhere as Ellie jumps a little in fright, eyes skimming over your skimpy bunny costume.

Ellie registers what you said and curses under her breath, “Uh…yeah, I do” she stammers a little under your gaze, which boosts your ego even more.

You’ll be honest, the fact that Ellie was going after your ex girlfriend twisted the jealousy in your stomach, a deep fear of this new girl taking your place as queen bee of the school.

You decided to have some fun

“I think you guys would make the cutest couple” you say sweetly, lying through your teeth

Ellie blushes even harder as she looks over at Abby who is sitting on the couch, “Really, I mean I heard you two were a thing so if you aren’t comfortable-”

You interrupt her, “Oh it’s fine, I could even talk to her for you if you’d like?” you say as innocently as possible

“You’d do that?” she says in surprise, which makes you laugh at how gullible she is

“It’s what friends are for…right?” You say with a smile before making your way over to Abby.

You stand in front of her, “I have to talk to you” you say which finally gets her attention as she slowly trails her eyes up your body before looking into your eyes, she smirks and leans back into the couch while putting her hands behind her head.

You take a moment to appreciate her muscular arms before listening to her response.

“I thought we were done talking after you dumped me this past summer” she says with an annoyed voice which you simply chuckle at.

You sit yourself in her lap and while she seems annoyed at first, you feel a strong arm wrap around your waist, “So, I heard that the new girl Ellie has a major crush on you”

You expect her to scoff, or roll her eyes, or something to that effect. What you don’t expect is Abby smiling softly to herself as a blush spreads across her cheeks, “Really? She does?” Abby says in an almost timid voice while keeping her gaze on Ellie.

Oh hell no

Your smirk drops for a moment before you recover and decide to pull out the big guns, you make yourself tear up and sniffle a little while looking away so you can pull some convincing crocodile tears to your eyes.

Abby pulls her attention away from Ellie immediately and lifts your chin gently, “Whoa, what’s wrong?” she asks in a concerned voice

You look up at her through your lashes, really milking this, “I just didn’t think this would be so hard for me” you say through fake sobs, “Just…promise me you won’t break her heart the way you did mine” you say as you get up and start to walk away

“Wait, baby, come here” Abby says and you feel her grab your wrist gently to turn you around.

Bingo

You smirk wickedly for a moment before putting your hurt facade back up as you face her again, “I just feel like you only dated me to make yourself look good” you say while placing a hand on her chest near her heart, “I truly love you Abby, but I was so afraid you’d find someone better than me and leave”

Abby sighs and places one of her hands over yours, intertwining your fingers, “I loved you too, and still do, I could neverfind anyone that could even come close to you” she says in a soft voice that makes you smile as your plan works.

You smile coyly and brush your hand down her arm, taking in her costume before looking up at her again, “You know…I think you have got to be the hottest zombie softball player I have ever seen.”

Abby smirks down at you, “Well considering I’m the only one, I’d say I have an unfair advantage” she says while wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you close

She looks over your costume and speaks in a low voice as her face gets closer to yours, her breath fanning softly over your face, “I’ve seen about five girls wearing the same as you, but none of them can even compare honey” she says and you can feel her lips almost brush against yours.

You smile and pull her in fully, your lips pressing together in a heated exchange from months worth of tension since the summer.

When you pull away and look past Abby’s shoulder, you manage to catch the smallest glimpse of Ellie running out the door, and you smile to yourself.

an: I hope you enjoyed!! This is my first time writing for Abby so hopefully it isn't terrible lol, now go drink some water you girl kissers

[moodywyrm]

moony what you said doesn’t make you a bad person or bratty, you’re allowed to feel that way bc it does suck a lot to not get complimented when you’re with others who do a lot. i go through that a lot, and its the worst.

but, you need to remember that things like your worth and how you look isn’t based on if you get flirted with or complimented, as long as you feel good and have fun, it doesn’t have to matter. and i know that’s easier said than done and yeah, it is nice to get a compliment, but as long as you think and repeat to yourself that you look great, then you’ll start to internalize that and not rely on other people to make you feel good :(! it takes time but it really pays off !

and when your friends get complimented over you, let it go in one ear and out the other, and try to not think on it so much

love you bbg 🫶

you didn’t sound mean at all baby 💕 i always feel like a brat whenever I complain about shit like this bc I know external validation is just??? Eh??? And I know I’m smart and have other ok qualities but I just would like to be the pretty one sometimes :( I would like to have someone that thinks I’m pretty enough to say it out loud bc also no one has ever had a crush on me or anything so I just like??? don’t actually think anyone would ever legitimately think I’m attractive 💔 I literally have Abby and Ellie asks I can’t answer right now bc it’ll make me cry 💕

I take fake it till you make it very seriously but also it’s so hard sometimes!! I know I come on here and write all this shit about loving chubby bodies and then I come and complain and idk I feel like it breaks the vibes sometimes sorry y’all

[bezdddakota]

So I finished The Last Of Us 2....

Where do I begin?? Let’s start with Abby because she is the only character people want to talk about.

I don’t hate Abby but I have many issues with her like the developers really wanted you to like her over Ellie and they pushed really hard on it too. Like they have her make these jokes like Ellie would in the first game and they make her take care of Yara and Lev ( who is my favorite character in the entire game btw ) like Joel took care of Ellie. Basically her entire part of the game is Joel from the first game but super short and. I feel  like if the game was made soley about her and get rid of the flashback scene and have them tell us at the end that Joel killed her father then people wouldn’t hate her as much. ( also her parts were my favorite part of the game but they were short tbh or I just ran through it. Took me 6 hours ).

Oh Ellie, my sweet girl. What the hell did they do to you?!?!?! You were full of life and in this game, they just sucked the life out of you and all because of your survivor's guilt and how you blame Joel for it?? I was confused by how she didn’t pick on Jesse in the very beginning when he woke her up or even with Dina later. She’d pull out a Playgirl and ask why the pages were stuck together 4 weeks after she saw her best friend die in front of her!!! She couldn’t make a stupid pun with her GIRLFRIEND during the open world exploring of Seattle?!?!?! She went through so much just for her to be a former shell of herself?!?!? The closest she was to her old self was with JJ and even then she was like the cool aunt who never sees her nieces and nephews twice a year!!!  

And the game plays like a melodrama, like the first one gave you a beginning you couldn’t forget and then gave you a cutscene that you had to listen to so you could understand what Joel has been doing for the past few years while this one starts with Ellie waking up and apologizing to Jesse because his ex girlfriend kissed her the night before and you NEVER SEE THE MAGICAL NIGH T UNTIL NEAR THE END OF THE GAME!!!!!! And that are sooo many flashbacks, too many to even make a coherent story out of it. Abby gets hit in the head, flashback to the time she told Owen where Joel was, Ellie plays the guitar, flashback to a time with Joel. I’m too busy worried about what Abby was doing to worry about her getting that high score, ok!?!?!?

And for some reason, I feel the game was never meant to be a sequel you know?? I mean, you don’t have to play the first game to understand this one and that makes me thinks that they made this game for people who never played the first one and they made sure that EVERYONE could play the game, they got options for people with vision problems, people with hearing problems and how you can customize your game with changing the difficulty settings for you, the enemies, how many supplies you find. It’s very impressive and although there are glitches still left in the game, ( my square button is still fucked, Naughty Dog!!! I can’t fend off a clicker or hit anyone with a board. I can’t even use photo mode!!!! ).

And the one thing that bothers me more than anything is that Abby never explained to Ellie why she killed Joel or even to Joel, for that matter. It really bothers if I see someone gets punished for something that wasn’t explained to them like “ my name is Abby Anderson, you killed my father. Prepare to die “, simple. And not even Ellie explained why she hunted her down. No one explained the things they were doing but do you know who explained why he was looking for a grown man traveling with a little girl. DAVID THE CANNIBAL!!!!  Because he at least told Ellie why and unfortunately that game did the whole “ your actions will come back to haunt you “ because David was terrifying.

This game looks beautiful and when the game lets you, it can be a lot of fun but the cutscenes have to remind you it’s Clinical Depression: the game and it is so obvious it wasn’t made for people who loved the first one.

Side notes because I forgot to mention them. 

SOMEONE SHOULD HAVE DIED IN THE FINAL SCENE.

Ellie lost her wife and kid just to get to Abby and she lets her go because of another frigging flashback?? It doesn’t feel like the game is saying “ revenge is bad “ but Ellie killed so many people along the way just because she could get to Abby and she just lets her go?? Either Ellie or Abby should have died because we spent too much time with them.

Another thing that bothers me other is all the LGBT characters gets the worst deal out of everyone in the game. 

The Scars want to kill Lev because he didn’t want to be a child bride and shaved his head and he accidentally killed his mother in self defense because she was going to kill him and witnessed his sister die in front of him and his home burn to the ground.

Ellie sees her father figure die in front of her, travels to Seattle to kill her and sees her uncle get blinded, her friend dead and when she travels to Santa Barbra to finally finish it, she loses her ring finger and her pinky and returns homes to find her wife gone because she could no longer take the cycle of violence and revenge.

Dina actually gets off better then Ellie and Lev but not by much, she has her ex boyfriend and father of her child die because he followed Ellie to Seattle and she leaves Ellie because again she could no longer take the cycle of violence and revenge and took her son away from her and possibly Jackson.

Edit: I unfortunately forgot to mention that if anyone is POC than they die. Manny, Jesse, Nora, Issac and Yara.

For a game that claimed to be diverse, they really dropped the ball on this

[incorrect-sdv-quotes]

Okay so I know this is a SDV Incorrect quote blog but I really wanted to show off my SDV headcanon’s so you may ignore this post if you wish (I’ll go back to the normal posts after this, I have like 13 quotes queue’d up right now) 

Headcanon’s under the cut:

1.Alex’s real first name is Alexander he just prefers to go by Alex

2.Alex is a trans male so he was born female but transitioned to male at age 13

3.The bachelors ages are (listed youngest to oldest):

 Alex: 19 

Sebastian: 19 (one month older then Alex)

Sam: 20

Harvey: 25-30

Elliott: 36

Shane: 38

4.Despite Sam being older then him Alex is taller (if you put them side by side Sam looks taller but that’s only cause of his hair if you flattened it you could see Alex was taller)

5.Sebastian is secretly a vampire (He does look like one anyway)

6. Haley and Alex kind of have a Hazel and Xander from Bunk’d relationship where they’re kinda friends but one of them *cough cough* Haley *cough* has a huge crush on the other to where it’s at yandere point- Haley is not QUITE as crazy about Alex that Hazel is about Xander and unlike Hazel Haley can hide the craziness she does have around people but when it’s just her and Alex she’s all crazy and clingy- 

Like, she’ll call him pet names like “My jock prince” or “Alex-zandy-” or “My knight in shining armor” Etc. etc- or hug him and never let go until someone LITERALLY prys her off- Talk about nutty nutty nut-so-

7. My headcanon voices for the bachelors are: (Well some of them, if a name is in strike through that means I don’t have one for that one- yet)

Alex: Shining Armor from MLP

Sebastian

Sam: Rottmnt Leo/2020 Sonic the Hedgehog/Dewy from Ducktails (this one might change)

Harvey: Fozzie Bear (Harvey: WaKa WaKa (I’m sorry))

Elliott: Gunther from Shake It Up

Shane

8.Shane is basically the god of chickens he’s such a good caretaker of chickens that he could summon an army of chickens to peck the eyes out of everyone in town with one “Babock” CHICKEN ARMY!!

If you decided to read this post and you liked my headcanons then this is it for now more might be added later as I play the game and scroll through the SDV tags on Tumblr more 

EDIT 1: More headcanons!:

9: Elliott is an amazing actor but a horrid horror-movie actor (It’s just his screams are unrealistic he will literally just say “Aaaah” otherwise it’s the same as the rest of his acting) (This scream-glitch is an easy fix if you yell “Ghost” more on that in 10)

10: Elliott is TERRIFIED of ghosts even those cute and/or clearly fake ghosts (Why else do you think Spirits Eve/Halloween has Skeletons every year and not ghosts? No one wants to scare anyone Too bad.) Actually Alex dared Elliott to watch the Disney Junior show Vampirina which went fine until Demi came on screen- Elliott literally wet himself and screamed for 3 whole hours- (Poor Alex who had to listen to that the whole time-)

11: Elliott treats his pocket crab as his ACTUAL son, not as his pet but as his actual biological son (it’s actually really cute)

12: The portraits in this video for a portraits mod is how the characters actually look to me (Excluding Elliott Sam and Sebastian they still live in my brain with their cannon looks): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmBW8BzSZpU&list=WL&index=1&t=5s

13: Krobus is Sebastian’s father (yeah you THINK it would not make sense along with Hc numb.5 but if you think about it if his father is a monster and his mother is human he’s gonna be born as a human-looking monster! Which is a Vampire!)

EDIT 2: Damnit. I was scrolling through this and I realized I missed a Hc and it slipped through the original post and the EDIT 1!

14: Alex has Dyslexia (this bugger Hc belonged in the original post but it slipped through both edits)

EDIT 3: MORE HEADCANNONS-

15: Both Abigail and Sebastian used to have hair to match their parents (Abby’s was brown (Like said in game) and Sebastian’s was Ginger) but due to their “Unusual” parents (Abigail: Wizard Sebastian: Krobus) their hair changed color when they got older and their mothers just pretended they died their hair so both the towns people and Abigail and Sebastian themselves would not freak out 

16: Sebastian has snake bite piercing's but he only wears them when he’s alone (he got them in the first place cause 1: Sam dared him and 2: he decided it would be a fun way to rebel against dead to Sebastian Demetrius, he didn’t have to keep them but he ended up liking the look) 

17: Sebastian owns a giant frog plush, it’s twice the size of him, is really soft and is incredibly fat (it’s to the point it’s just a circle that has stubby legs) he loves it more then anything Excluding Alex but he does not want anyone finding out he loves it let alone owns it so he stuffs it under his bed when people are in and/or near his room

18: Sebastian’s first word was literally “Froggy”

Ex:

Robin: Can you say “mama”?

Baby!Sebastian: ...Froggy!

Robin:

Robin: Out of all words your first word is “Froggy”? Really?

19: The shortest to tallest Bachelors are:

Shane

Sam (If you take his hair and go *Squishes flat*)

Alex

Sebastian

Sam (If you count the added height from his Mullet)

Harvey

Elliott (Tall stinky sea dude)

20: Sam got Sebastian to scream “Bubbles” for 5 hours straight 

Details on that:

Sam: It’s impossible to say “Bubbles” threateningly

Sebastian:

Five munities later:

Robin: Uhhhh Sam? Why is my son on the roof screaming “BUBBLES”?

21: Sebastian owns a biker jacket but he only wears it when riding his motorcycle cause the jacket makes him look way more goth then emo and he prefers the emo look over goth look despite he acts more like a goth

22: One Feast of The Winter Star Sebastian got everyone an empty box and when they opened it Seb said: “It’s a void of nothingness. Just like life.” He did not get in trouble or nothing cause your allowed to give what you want but he did not do that again

23: Sebastian requires glasses to read, he can see perfectly but when it comes to reading on a computer or on paper he needs glasses

24: Sam does a perfect Darth Vader voice and Darth Vader breathing noises

25: Sebastian has vampire powers (cause he is a vampire (Hc 5)), he knows about them and is chill about it but he does not use them unless necessary cause he just does not feel the need to use them otherwise (His powers include, immortality (he also can’t be killed cause on my take on Vampires the stuff that “Traditionally” harms/kills them is just a mith and actually does nothing to them), super strength, increased speed, fast self-healing, telekinesis (I know this is not “Traditionally” a vampire power but Seb does have it) and the ability to change into a bat)

26: Both Sebastian and Elliott are actually pretty jacked (Not Alex level jacked but still) you just can’t see it unless they’re shirt-less (but in Seb’s case at least loose the hoodie)

27: Harvey’s doctor’s mallet weapon is just as heavy and as big as himself so he rarely goes into combat cause he has trouble welding his own weapon- 

Harvey: Time to explore the mines! *grabs his giant doctors mallet*

Harvey: Nope going down. *falls backward with a thud*

28: Elliott carries at least one very sharp pencil with him at all times so if he sees a very annoying person or a slime that escaped the mines he’ll grab it and go *StAb*

29: Everyone else makes Hermit jokes around Elliott which he finds funny and annoying at the same time (They used to do the jokes about Sebastian as well but they stopped cause when they did Seb strangled them Darth Vader style) Ex of the hermit jokes:

*singing* Someone’s on the beach with a hermit! There’s a hermit on the beach I know I know! Someone’s on the beach with a hermiiiit! And the hermit’s name is Elliott!

30: If you think Elliott’s cannon SDV schedule is anti-social you should see how anti-social he gets when writing a book-

EDIT 4: Surprise, there’s more

31: Elliott is a mermaid merman (he’s a human by day half human half fish by night but he’ll change forms sooner if you dump water on him- found that out by Haley throwing water on him in hopes he’ll melt-)

32: When in ‘fish’ form Elliott’s tail is incredibly strong (if you get hit by it you’ll go flying 900 feet in the air in 5 seconds at full strength)

33:Elliott only lets Harvey call him “Elly” if anyone else does so expect Elliott to dump water on himself then hit you with his fish tail)

34:Vincent will sing The Little Mermaid song “Under the sea” around Elliott and Sebastian (Sebastian cause think about it and Elliott cause he’s an IRL Mermaid)

[tlou-1]

Her Own Worst Enemy | Chapter 8 | Reverie. (Joel Miller Fanfic)

Ada woke in Joel’s bed the following morning. The spring brought the brighter mornings and the sunlight was managing to just break through the curtains of Joel’s room. She turned to the other side of the bed to see Joel was still sound asleep, she didn’t want to wake him it was rare to be able to sleep in. She looked to the nightstand and saw a book about space. Picking it up she thought some light reading might keep her occupied until Joel awoke.

However she couldn’t focus on the words on the page, she read the same sentence over and over again

‘Space exploration is the ongoing discovery and exploration of celestial structures in outer space’, her mind thought about Joel’s rough hands on her as he pulled her dress over he head in one full swoop.

‘Space exploration is the ongoing discovery and exploration of celestial structures in outer space’, she thought about the feel of his mouth and tongue against her inner thigh and then higher and higher until her hands grasped at his hair in pleasure.

‘Space exploration is the ongoing discovery and exploration of celestial structures in outer space’ and the sound of Joel saying her name.

“Good Morning” she heard Joel chirp breaking her train of thought as she quickly closed the book.

“Enjoying a bit of light reading this morning?” He continued.

“I didn’t want to wake you, figured it’s nice to be able to sleep in when we get the chance. A space book though?”.

“Ellie is big on space, talks about it all the time. Would be nice to know what she was actually talking about”

That made Ada smile, she put the book down and crawled closer to Joel.

He took her hand in his and brushed a kiss across her knuckles, “You on rota today?”

“Just a short shift in the greenhouses and then I should be done for the day”

“Meet me for a drink after?” He asked and she agreed jokingly asking if this was the real date, he didn’t say no.

It felt like a longer shift than usual at the greenhouses today, Ada wasn’t working alongside Dina like usual so she had no one to keep her amused whilst she tended to the harvests. This gave her time for her mind to wonder too much, she thought about Joel a lot, he said he was out on patrol with Tommy this afternoon which set her mind at some ease, he was with his brother, out of town and further away from Abby today but what was she doing? Was she on patrol? Helping out some other way? Ada knew she was going to have to do something sooner rather than later but how to go about it, she didn’t have the right answer yet. “That’s it for the day everyone, put your feet up for the rest of the day. You’ve earned it” called someone.

Ada made her way after work straight to the bar to meet Joel, she had some mud on her jeans but she didn’t seem to think Joel would mind. Her eyes scanned the room but they couldn’t find him, she must have been the first to arrive. She ordered them both a drink and a meal, if she was hungry she could only imagine how much Joel was looking forward to something to eat. Seth dropped off at her table two large beers and two warm stews, Ada was tempted to sink her spoon into the bowl there and then but she thought it be rude not to wait a couple extra minutes on Joel. The chair next her was pulled out from the table but when she looked up from her food it wasn’t Joel sat across from her.

“Who are you waiting for?” Abby asked pulling the chair in closer to Ada but Ada didn’t answer her question.

“What are you still doing here Abby? You can’t seriously think you can hurt him without getting yourself killed”

Abby shrugged, “I don’t know, maybe it be worth it”.

“That’s just stupid and you know it too” Ada scoffed at Abby’s casualness about the whole situation.

“You care about them don’t you? I saw the way he was dancing with you”

Ada was silent, so Abby continued.

“You were all too happy to attend a trip across the country to kill him a few months ago, in that space of time did you just forget what he did?”

“I was happy helping friends not get themselves killed, you needed me, until you all didn’t and left me behind. What happened before had nothing to do with me Abby, that was your crusade.” Ada could feel the sternness in her voice and her glare on the woman sitting across from her. Abby’s eyes broke away from hers “Oh and as if on queue, here comes the old man. Have fun you two” she says sadistically and before leaving dips her hand into Ada’s bowl of food and steals a bit of bread.

“I am sorry I’m late, patrol took a little longer than I thought” Joel began apologising.

“Everything alright?”

“Just a few more infected than we would have hoped but nothing I couldn’t handle”.

They began digging into their food while it was still warm, they barely spoke until they had finished.

“Abby keeping you company while you waited?” Joel asked after taking a sip of his beer.

“Mhmm” Ada hummed not wanting to talk about Abby after their unsettling exchange.

“Seems like a nice girl. She’d be great out on patrols, has some amount of strength behind her”. Ada must have made some face along with a noice that sounded unconvinced at Joel’s statement because Joel holds her hand on the top of the table and asks “My god woman, do you trust anyone?”.

“I trust you” Ada sighs, squeezing his hand, “…and Ellie, Dina, Jesse and Tommy, Maria-“

“Alright I get it, I get” Joel laughs before raising her hand to his lips and pressing a kiss to it. It was the most affection they had displayed in view of others ever and people had taken notice. There was no point in hiding it now, if Abby knew it was hardly a worry that the town would know.

“So you two kiss and make up then?” Tommy laughed patting his older brother on the back. Joel looked bashful, which was unusual for him. Ada’s mouth hung open in surprise, “What? How would you even-“.

“You think I couldn’t tell by the way you two have been looking at each other?”

“Oh well I am glad you knew because up until a few weeks ago I thought we hated each other” Ada laughed. It felt nice, not having to hide how she felt, being able to enjoy and share these moments with the people she would now consider ‘friends’.

Once Tommy left the two of them in peace to finish their drinks Ada decided to ask, “Go back out on patrols with me?”

“Is that you asking me or telling me?”

“It’s me asking and hoping you’ll say yes” Ada continued, if she could also be set up on patrols with Joel it could mean she could keep a close eye on him herself if Tommy wasn’t around.

“Sure, I mean how can I say no to the woman with the best shot in town” He smiled before they headed home for the night.

She was lying in bed later that night, next to Joel who was looking up at the ceiling, he looked pensive.

“You good?” asked Ada softly.

“You know what, I am… For the first time in a while, things feel good”.

Next

[layce2015]

The Last of Us Part 2 (Joel Miller x Reader)

What If I Followed The Game's Story (Joel's Death) pt. 1

(A/N: So I thought about doing some alternate chapters and in this one is gonna be if I had followed the story of the game, which means this Chapter will be (y/n)'s reaction to the death of Joel. Now, of course, this is NOT part of my story. This is just a what if scenario. I know this one won't be fun as people are still upset about Joel's death, I am too, but I just want to give you guys how I would've done this if I had followed the story of the game. So, here's what would've happened if I followed the game's story.)

As the trio gallop through the storm, more infected started coming at them from all other directions. Abby pulls out her gun and fires while Tommy and Joel steer their horses towards the upcoming gate and make their way through, as a group of people held it open. Abby's people closed the gate and a few started firing at the infected. 

"Save your bullets!" One person shouted and a couple of guys throws some molotov at the gate, burning the group of infected to death. "Let's get inside!" A young sandy blonde man, Owen, said and the group starts to head back inside the mansion as Abby, Joel and Tommy dismount their horses.

They follow her friends and make it inside of the garage. Minutes later, the door closes and one of Abby's people turns to Joel and Tommy. "How you guys doin'?" She asked. "We're good. Thanks." Tommy said to her. "Yeah." Joel said as he glances around at everyone, trying to see if they give off any warning signals.

Both him and Tommy noticed that they had patches on their jackets. It was a head of a black wolf with the words Washington Liberation Front, or WLF as it said on the arms of the jacket.

Meanwhile, Owen goes over to Abby and whispers. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" She nods and the two go into the other room as another woman, Nora, comes up to Joel and Tommy. "You wanna get those saddles off?" She asked them. "No, no. It's alright. We'll just ride out the storm and get out of your hair." Joel assures her.

"Y'all got any brushes or a towel or anything?" Tommy asked her and she nods as she goes to get some stuff

"You are nothing but lucky." Owen mutters to Abby once they were in the other room. "You have no idea." She said to him as everyone started walking into the room. "How did y'all get electricity in here?" Tommy asked the group, curiously. "There are solar panels on the roof." Another man, Manny, replied.

"Where the fuck have you been? Who are these people?" Owen asked Abby, angrily, just as Tommy and Joel walk into the room. "How long have y'all been here?" Tommy asked the others. "Since yesterday." Manny replied. "Yesterday." Joel said, a bit of suspicion in his voice. "Yep." Manny said.

"What are y'all doing out this way?" Joel asked. "Oh, just passing through. You two live nearby?" A dark haired man asked. "We do. A few hours down the hill. Y'all should come back with us. Restock before you head out." Tommy said to them. "Appreciate it. I'm Mel." A woman, with short dark hair, introduced as she shakes Tommy's hand.

"Tommy. This is my brother." Tommy said as he points at Joel. "Joel." He introduced and in that moment everyone in the group stare at him, almost like they recognized him. This starts to set off alarm bells in Joel's head.

"Y'all act like you've heard of us or something." He said as he looks at everyone. "That's cause they have." Abby said and before Joel could turn around and do something, Abby pulls out her shotgun and shoots Joel's kneecap. He falls over as Tommy yells. "NO!"

He goes and punches the guy near him but another guy grabs one of his arm and the guy he just punched grabs his other arm and the two men hold him down. Nora comes up and pistol whips Tommy a few times in the face until he was unconscious.

"Nora? Clear?" One guy asked as Tommy's body flops down, unconcious while Joel was on his side, holding his leg in pain. "He's out." Nora tells them as Joel let's out a groan of pain. "Put him against the wall." Abby demands her people, gesturing at Joel. "Tommy." Joel calls out, painfully, as a couple of members of the group grab Joel by his arms.

"Get off me! Get off me!" Joel yells at them as they pick him up and push him against the wall and hold him. Abby kneels down to him, glaring at him with such hate.

"Joel Miller..." she said and he looks up at her, shocked that she knew his name. 

"Who are you?" He asked her, angrily.

"Guess." She spat at him. He looks at her then at her friends, trying to think of who could they be, but nothing. He takes a deep breath then glares at Abby, defiant. "Why don't you say whatever speech you got rehearsed and get this over with." He growls at her.

Abby, upset that he doesn't know who she is, huffs out a breath then stands up. "Tourniquet his leg." She orders and Mel grabs a belt then goes over to Joel and wraps the belt tight around his leg, preventing him from bleeding out. "Ah, damn it...." Joel growls as Mel tourniquets his leg and Abby goes to grab a golf club.

Mel finished then she moved away as Joel looks up at Abby, who goes to stand in front of him. "You stupid old man..." she growls as she holds up the golf club and Joel keeps taking deep breathes, waiting for the worst this woman will bring him. "You don't get to rush this." Abby said and she raises the club and swings it at Joel's head.

"JOEL! TOMMY!" Ellie calls out into the blizzard as Shimmer gallops through the wind and snow. Moments later, Ellie comes up to the cabin and she sighs with relief. "There it is." She said and she dismounts Shimmer and makes her way down into the cabin.

"Joel? Tommy?" She calls out once she makes it inside. Then she heard cries and screams of pain. "Oh no." Ellie whispers, fearfully, and she makes her way down to the basement.

She opens the door and sees the horrifying scene before her. Joel was laying on the ground, his head beaten in and his hair matted with blood, and Abby standing before him with a golf club raised. 

Ellie's eyes widen in shock then she opens the door wider and aims her gun but one guy, Jordan, sees her and jumps into action. He grabs her arm and tries to knock her down but she fights back. She pulls out her switchblade and slices at the Jordan's face when Nora and another guy jumps on Ellie and shoves her down. "Pin her down!" Nora said, firmly.

"Get off me!" Ellie yells. "Get her hands." Nora said and the guy grabs Ellie's hands and ties them up behind her back. "Get the fuck off of me!" Ellie growls. "Bitch." Jordan yells and he goes to kick her a few times. 

"Look, you got her. Okay?" Another member said to Jordan as he pushes him back. Ellie coughs and looks at Joel to see the horrible state he was in then she glares up at Abby. "You're gonna fuckin' die!" She screams as Owen comes into the room.

"What's going on?" He asked. "Let him go!" Ellie demands but Owen looks over at Abby. "Who is that?" He asked. "Let him go!" Ellie yelled again. "She snuck in..." Nora said and Owen looks at Ellie then at Nora. "Why aren't you posted up outside?" He asked her. "We didn't think anyone was gonna show up." Nora said. "The hell did you expect!" Owen shouts at her.

He looks at Ellie then at Tommy before he turns to Abby. "We gotta get outta here before the whole town's on top of us." Owen said to the others. "You know what I want. And I still have to find his wife!" Abby said to him, through clenched teeth, and Ellie's eyes widen a bit at this.

Shit, she's talking about (y/n)! No! Ellie thought, panicked.

Owen leans closer to her and says, in a commanding voice. "I know but you need to end this before someone else comes. Now." He walks away and Abby looks back down at Joel. "Joel, get up." Ellie pleads. "Joel fucking get up!" She yells as Joel opens his eyes and looks right at Ellie.

Even with his head caved in, a million thoughts were going through his mind as he stares at her. Many things he wanted to say to her, and even more to say so she could pass on the message to (y/n), to have her tell his wife that he loves her and his sons and he was sorry for not coming home. But nothing would come out, he really couldn't make his mouth move. All he could do was stare at Ellie.

Ellie heaves then looks back at Abby. "Please stop! Please don't do this!" She begs as Abby stands over Joel. "Joel, please get up!" Ellie pleads one more time before Abby raises the club and brings down the final blow to Joel's head, killing him.

"NOOO!!" Ellie screams and she begins to cry. She glares up at Abby and her friends telling them that she would kill them all while there was a ringing in her ears as Manny walks up to Joel and spits on his body.

She couldn't believe what just happened.

Joel was gone...killed right in front of her. Fuck, how was (y/n) gonna take this? How were Aiden and Ethan gonna take this? Many things rushed through her head before Jordan walks over to Ellie and kicks her in the face, knocking her out.

*(y/n)'s POV*

"JOEL? TOMMY?" I yelled as I galloped through the snow, still looking for the two men. Then I make it to this cabin where I see a few horses near the cliff. I recognized them as being Dina's, Jesse's and Ellie's horses, so I made my way down to the cabin and inside of it. I pull out my pistol, just in case, and made my way down the stairs.

Then I could hear voices nearby. "Jesse! They're down here!" I hear Dina's voice shout and I make my way to the kitchen area and see Dina and Jesse talking. "Are you shitting me?" Jesse asked her and Dina, her face full of sorrow, shook her head.

"Fuck, how are we gonna tell (y/n)?" Jesse asked her and my heart stopped. "Tell me what?" I asked and both of them jumped and turned to me. "(Y/n)! I..uh..." Jesse stammers and then I start to get really worried. "Kids....what happened?" I asked, my voice shaking.

Jesse has this look of fear as if he doesn't know what to say and Dina looked beyond terrified. "(Y/n)...I'm...I'm so sorry." She said and I look between them, fearfully. Dina then gestured toward the basement door with her eyes and I make my way, slowly, down the stairs.

My heart was pounding in my chest and I felt like I had a huge lump in my throat as I try to prepare myself for the worst case scenario. I walk into the room and see Ellie and Tommy kneeling over something.

The last step creaked under my feet and Tommy turns to me, tears running down his face. I look over and, on the ground, see a body laying down, wearing familiar clothing. "(Y/n), don't...." Tommy start to tell me as I got closer and Ellie turns to me, her nose and mouth were bleeding which was mixed with her tears.

As she turned, I saw a head with graying black hair and blood caked into the hair. "Tommy...who is that?" I asked, my voice shaking, as I walk up closer but Tommy grabs me and tries to hold me back.

"Tommy, who is that?! Who is that?! Tommy! TELL ME THAT'S NOT WHO I THINK IT IS!!" I shouted, frantically, as I fight against his hold and Ellie gives me a look of fear. "I'm sorry." She said, tearfully, and she steps aside and at that moment, I felt my world crash down once I saw it.

Joel's head was bashed in, his blood splattered everywhere. A piece of his ear was missing and his face was so beaten in, he was almost unrecognizable. 

The air left my lungs and I go limp as I fall to my knees, continuing to stare at Joel's body. "Joel?" I whispered and I crawl towards him. "(Y/n)..." Tommy said but I ignore him as I go up to Joel then slowly turn him over his back.

"Joel? Joel, please wake up." I said. Even though I know he's no longer there, a part of me didn't want to believe that he was gone. "Please, please wake up." I plead as tears start to form in my eyes and I shake his shoulder. "Come on, you fuckin' bastard! Wake up! Joel, please! Don't do this to me!" I cried, angrily, but he doesn't move or speak and reality hit me, like trainwreck, as I began to cry.

I bury my head in his chest, not caring if I got blood on me, and began to cry. "You said you wouldn't leave me." I said in between tears, softly. "You promised me!" I cried and I felt someone's hands on my shoulder.

"(Y/n)..." I hear Tommy's voice say as he tried to pull me away but I shove him off. "No...leave me..." I cried, softly. I don't know how or when but I was pulled away from Joel's body. I don't even remember who did, probably Ellie and Dina since I vaguely remember Jesse and Tommy had to pick up Joel's body and put it in this tarp Jesse and Dina found.

I just felt like I was in a daze through the whole ride back home. I felt like a part of me was gone and I'm just a shell of my former self. I could see people talking to me but I couldn't hear their voices cause all I could think about was one thing.

Joel Miller...

My husband...

My partner...

My best friend...

The father of my children...

The love of my life...

He's gone. I was never going to see him again.

How the fuck am I gonna tell our sons that their Daddy is gone forever?!

(A/N: So I'm gonna do a bit of a skip. This next part will take place about a week later, they've already buried Joel and (y/n) has been locked up in her room. Aiden and Ethan have been staying with Tommy and Maria. Tommy and Ellie's talk about what their plan is about the same as it was in the original game just that (y/n) wasn't there since she couldn't say anything. (Y/n) did tell the boys about Joel but all she said was Daddy's not coming back.

I'm sorry if I'm rushing this but I just kinda want to get through this. So this part, Ellie has come over and (y/n) let's her in the house and the two talk.)

I go and open the front door and see Ellie and Dina there, both of them looking sad. "Hey..." I greeted, softly. "Hey...can we come in?" Ellie asked me and I nod then opened the door wider for them.

They walked inside and both of them look around and I could tell Ellie had something on her mind. "Ellie, can we talk?" I asked her and she nods before I turn to Dina. "I'm gonna steal her away for a few moments, that okay?" I said, trying to sound light-hearted. "Yeah, sure. I'm sure you guys have alot to talk about." Dina said and I nod then gesture for the stairs.

"I have something that I want to give you." I said and I walk into mine and Joel's room....I guess I have to call it my room now, and pick up a box that had some of Joel's things. I make my way back out to the walkway and see Ellie looking at some of the pictures we had.

I got stand next to her and see her looking at that old photo of me, Joel and Sarah. I frown at it and gave a silent prayer that wherever they were I hope Joel and Sarah found each other.

"You know...I've always wondered...how did you and Joel meet?" Ellie asked me as she looks up at me. "I mean, I know you guys mentioned you met through your old job but like..." she stops as I stare at the picture. "I'm sorry, I don't want to upset you some more..." Ellie said and I shake my head as I smirk a bit. 

"No, it's okay, Ellie. Um...actually...it's a pretty funny story..." I said, smiling a bit, and I began to tell her how Joel and I met.

(A/N: If you wanna know what that flashback is and you haven't read it yet. Here is this link that will take you to the story: How Joel and (y/n) met)

"After that, he and Sarah would come back to the coffee shop almost every day. I would talk to them and get to know them better." I said to Ellie as she listens, intently. "A few months after all the talking and flirting...Joel asked me out." I stopped and let out a heavy sigh as Ellie gives me a sad look.

She places a hand on my shoulder and I place my hand over hers. "I'm going after her, (y/n)." Ellie said and I look over at her. "I want to come..." I said but Ellie shakes her head. "I don't want Ethan and Aiden to lose more than they've already have." She said and I bite my lips, tears building up in my eyes, thinking it over and realized that she's right.

"You're right. They need me now more than ever." I said and I let out another sigh and placed my hands over my face.

"Ellie? (Y/n)? Can you guys come down here!" I hear Dina call out. "Everything okay?" Ellie asked her. "Yeah it's just....can both of you come on down." She calls out. Ellie and I exchange a look before we walk out of the room and head down stairs.

Once we make our way downstairs, we see Dina sitting in the dining area with Maria who had a piece of paper in her hands. From the look on her face, she was not happy. She clears her throat and starts to read from the paper.

"Maria, I'm headed to Seattle. I can't let it go. I have to make these people pay. Ellie is gonna try to come after me but stop her, maybe stop (y/n) too. Take their guns. Lock up the horses. Maybe lock them up. Buy me some time so I can finish this. Love you always, Tommy." She reads then looks over at us.

"He's going to get himself killed." Maria growls. "He should've taken me with him." Ellie growled. "You should've given us a group to go after those fuckers!" Ellie yells at her. "I wish I could." Maria said, firmly.

"So what now, Maria? You gonna lock Ellie up? Or me? Cause I'll tell you now that I'm staying here...for my sons." I asked her. "I prefer that Ellie should stay--" Maria started to say but Ellie talks over her. "That's not going to fuckin' happen!" She yells. "I prefer you stay but I know you better." Maria said then she turns to Dina.

"Are you going with her?" She asked and Dina looks up at her. "Yeah." She said, her arms folded across her chest. Then Maria turns to me and Ellie. "So are you just gonna sneak outta here?" She asked us and she begins to pace. "Yeah." Ellie said and her and Maria stare at each other before she sighs and looks down. "I told the stables to let you out with your horse. Grab some ammo too." She said and Ellie nods. "Thank you, Maria." Ellie said, appreciatevly.

"Just do me a favor and bring my dumbass husband home in one piece, please." She said to Ellie and I could see the pleas in her eyes. "Of course." Ellie said. "All right. Get going, you're losing light." She said and she walks out of my home.

Ellie and I exchnage a look and I nod at her before I look over at Dina. "You watch over her, okay?" I said to her and Dina nods. "Of course." Dina said and I give a small smile at this then I get an idea.

"Um, Ellie...before you go. There's something else I wanna give ya." I said and I head back up the stairs and grab another boxes that had Joel's stuff in it. I open it and pull out his revolver. I sniffled a bit and let out a heavy sigh at this as I stroked my thumb across the surface of the gun.

Then I head back down the stairs and to Ellie. "Here...I want you to have this." I said as I hand her the revolver and she looks up at me in surprise. "Y-You sure?" She asked me and I nod. "Just promise me....you'll make those bastards pay for what they did." I said, my voice shaking. "I will. I promise." Ellie said. "Good." I said and Ellie and I share a hug before her and Dina head out.

(A/N: So that'll be the end of this for now. The idea I had in mind was so long that I decided to divide it into 2 parts so the next Chapter will be like the conclusion of all this. And please keep in mind this is NOT cannon to my fic, except for the little flashback with (y/n) and Joel that is cannon. Let's say that this is an alternate universe of my fan fic. Hoped you enjoyed.)

@fangirl-inthe-us

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

99 Problems (Favored Ones, Part 8.)

Series description: Many things were surely fucked up in the year 2038, but no-one ever told anyone how all of it went down. What happened before a group of people left for Seattle to handle personal matters? Why did one girl refuse to leave all of it be? And why there were so many dead in the end?

Part Summary: Waking up after a perfect night always seems to be so rough. What should you think? What should tell? And how the fuck were you supposed to behave in front of the man... And the others?

A/N: Oh no, we’re in the part when we’re finally starting the countdown until Abby arrives in town. And the song is about the aftermath of the nasty fucking things you and Joel were doing. 99 Problems inspired the first half of the chapter and a song named Hell and You (by Amigo the Devil) had inspired the rest.

Warnings: None other than half of the characters being confused as usual and smut at the end.

Word count: 5.6 K

Tagging:  @nemodoren @xxgoldenhour @missdictatorme​ @peakymarvels​ @davnwillcome​ @pickleriiick​ @jodiereedus22​ @gladiosamicitias​ @tamkashi​ @eternallyvenus​ @avengerssstuff​ @fangirl-inthe-us

Series master list: H E R E

Joel Miller’s playlist for the bonfire occasions: H E R E

Fall of 2037, five months before the incident:

In the morning, it was barely morning, your eyes just shot open. The night was still behind the windows, the light was slowly lurking in. Jesus, you couldn't tell what is hurting more - if it was your goddamn head or your fucking thighs. Just when you were about to climb from the bed you realized, that it isn't your house and that someone has their hand over your waist.

Oh, Lord. Slowly, the things which happened last night... All the words which were said and all the things that were done... Were coming to your head and suddenly, you could see each moment vividly. You've done it. You've fucked with Joel Miller. Joel was still sleeping pretty deeply, which made you act fact - withing few minutes, you were all dressed up and sneaking out of the house to run to your home.

Sure, you've fantasized about having him exactly as you had him, yet the realization was making you dizzy and ashamed, to be honest. He still was Ellie's dad, for fuck's sake. If she would get to know... Fuck you then, you were a dead man for her. The funniest part was yet to come. Sure, lessons with Joel were far gone because of the fucking weather, just like the classes, but the patrol you were about to have with Ellie was about to be interesting. The things you were doing with Joel felt completely right, you wouldn't have it any other way, but in the perspective of the situation around it? Jesus.

You were asking yourself questions the whole time you were packing your things for the patrol - how you and Joel were planning to make this fuckery work anyway? You'd always come late in the night, leaving when everything's done or early in the morning so no-one would see you? How would you know that you can come to him that day? You'll just knock on his door, asking 'Joel, wassup? Wanna hook up today?'. Yeah, sure, you could see yourself asking him. And most importantly, what if it was just the result of all these emotions brewing and going boom inside of you? What if he wouldn't want to do that emotionally sober? There was this one question going through your head quite a lot: what the fuck have you done?

On the other hand, when the man woke up just minutes after you left, he shouldn't be surprised to find the house empty - but it still caught him off-guard. So, were you trying to tell him something with disappearing into the thin air without a word, a note, anything, weren't you? Well, it was an experiment which went exactly as he assumed - you weren't into someone like him. You were too young and you thought that you were sure about wanting him, just to realize that it was a mistake. So much for not being alone, at least in some way, right?  

But it made him think about some things Joel already thought are buried deep inside of him. Those demons which he hadn't heard of in years. He didn't hear these inside his head ever since he and Ellie moved into Jackson. These thoughts were concerning Tess. And a lot about her. It was no mystery that he and she had something together. It was just because of the physical release, sure, but it was something. It started one night, it came out of nowhere. They were already partners at the time, this was just a friendly help as Tess would say. But truth be told, Joel never believed anyone enough after Tess to end up in bed with them.

You were the first one in five years. The first one to even show some interest in him. And the first one who didn't seem to be enough of a bitch to stab him in the back. Well, these things happen and it didn't exactly go according to the plan.

It was strange to meet you in the city almost every other day. Sometimes, you were there with Ellie, sometimes with other friends. And you never spared him a look, you never stopped for a few words just like he always did before. When meetings were happening, you made sure that you sit somewhere where he couldn't see you, so it wouldn't be possible to make any kind od eye-contact with you. You felt scared just because of the though Joel speaking to you. The whole of September went like that. And when November had started, the tension felt so strong that even others had noticed.

"I thought that you and Joel are on the good note now." - Ellie asked one night when you stopped by to play some video games and to have a sleepover after a busy week when you were shifted to help with the animals. Both of you were dressed in old, comfy sweats and drank some beer while playing Ellie was winning since she had the damn console at home, but you had a ton of fun nonetheless. Well, until this question.

"What?" - You asked with a chuckle, opening a package of sweets you got from Seth. It was something called donuts or so and it was fucking delicious.

"Nothing. He just looks so fucking butthurt when you're around, I just noticed yesterday. Tommy was trying to talk to him when you were sitting ar the next table - I wouldn't think it's you, but then he looked over to you and he got even more heated up. As if he was angry with you or some shit. What's that about?" - Okay, it wasn't the time to panic now, it was time for you to make something up. You were good at that, your small lies saved you and Ellie quite a few times. So now it was your time to lie to Ellie directly.

"Oh, oh yeah, that." - You nodded when you pretended that you suddenly realized. You had to pretend it wasn't even that important to you - and you were one of a good actor when it came to that. - "Yeah, we had some disagreements about my hunting lessons, so I told him some nasty things." - You rolled your eyes at the memory, secretly thinking about all of the nasty things you've done to him for real. For a moment, Ellie was laying there and looking at you, as if she was not really convinced that's the case - but suddenly, she started laughing. The sound of her laughter made you finally breathe out. She believed you.

"He can be an asshole when people ain't doing the things he wants them to do. I know... But still. I think I'm slowly getting behind the anger I felt for him. You know what I mean?" - She asked, suddenly being all vulnerable again. No-one in Jackson was able to see her the ways you did - she was blushing quite a lot around you. She never wore hair down in public - she always wore it down around you.

Maybe you've done the right thing with running away? He was right - it could damage and maybe even destroy a lot of relationships for you to only have occasional fun. Jesus, why was too hard to tell if you acted right even when you were just looking back on the situation? You were still into him, no matter how hard you tried to be into someone else. You spent a shit ton of time with Diego in the last month and as you expected, he was probably having something for you.

But every time he smiled at you, held your door, or told you a joke, you asked yourself - holy shit, why isn't Joel standing in front of me? Every time the man walked around you, your breath hitched when you remembered the pleasure time with him could bring. Every time Joel spoke at any kind of meeting, which happened rarely, you got lost in his voice and that Texas accent. What a slut you were. But what was done was done - and you couldn't just walk up to the man and kiss him after ignoring him for a month. In theory, you perfectly could, but what good would that bring?

"That's awesome. How you plan on doing that?" - You asked a bit uncomfortably, gulping one piece of the donut as you lounged back next to her. She leaned the back of her head on your thigh, opening her lips so you could feed her. At that, you smiled.

"I don't know yet." - She hummed thought the food, gulping it down. - "I think I'll just take some more time and... I will do the only thing I can. Go there, ask him to listen and talk." - Ellie closed her eyes for a moment. - "Man, do you know how fucking nervous I am about this? You're the only one who knows. If you'll going to tell it this information someone, you're waking up in the snow on one winter day."

"Really? I thought you're telling me and Dina the same amount of information?" - An answer came out of you as your eyes followed the girl who was turning off the console to play you both some movie to fall asleep during. When the first sigh came out of her, you knew something has gone bad. - "When did you two had the time to argue?"

"Well." - Ellie started, letting the opening of the movie roll. You didn't care about the fucking movie, you were staring at Ellie. - "The things are kinda on thin ice now. You remember when I told you I like someone?" - Ellie chuckled uncomfortably. You put five and five together immediately. She was looking down and suddenly, her face was red as a strawberry. No way in fucking hell. You remembered her relationship with Kat going to hell suddenly, but Dina? Holy fuck, that was a new level for you. It was still less scary than what you were doing with Joel, but it rose your eyebrows with surprise.

"You weren't talking about me?" - You tried to joke, but it wasn't appreciated at all at the moment.

"And I think she knows and something is happening between her and Jesse now, and we talked about some stuff, and now we're not talking." - Ellie told you in as few words as she could. Quietly, you sighed and laid down next to her, snuggling to her to watch the movie. You probably missed all of that because your head was all wrapped up around Joel all the time when you tried to figure out how to cross him out and forget that one night at his house. Great. You missed your best friends arguing because of the relationships. What a fucking friend you indeed were. You had to do something about that.

So the following morning, you did just that. As usual, you found Dina and Jesse together. They were just having breakfast - so you told Jesse to get up from the fucking table and leave because you and Dina were about to talk about girly stuff. Which wasn't weird at all, since you and Jesse never went easy at each other. That was why you loved the boy just as much as you did. - "What was that for? You're really off the rails today. Is it supposed to make me attracted to you?" - Dina asked playfully, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Come the fuck on, you're already into me so much you don't know what to do with it." - You answered and watched her moving her plate of veggies in front of you.

"True dat. You're angry and food always helps you when you're angry." - Dina leaned her cheek into her palm, smiling at you carefully. Yeah. Since you've spent most of the time in your workshop, gone on patrols, and with trying to take your mind off of Joel, you hadn't time to have breakfast with Dina and Ellie. And you missed it pretty bad.

"I'm not angry." - You pointed out, but stopped Dina from taking the damn plate back nonetheless, having the girl chuckle again. - "But I'm just concerned about you and Ellie. She told me a bit yesterday..." - You rose your eyebrows. Dina sighed at that, leaning her back into the chair below her. Watching you stuffing your cheeks with the food, she smiled again but didn't comment on it, since she was aware you'd tell her to fuck off as well.

"I don't know what's going on inside her now. She hasn't spoken to me in a week, she didn't even say a damned hi or acknowledged me. I told her that Jesse and I are having some... Problems now and she went all coo-coo, I haven't ever seen her like that before. She told you what was that about?" - Dina leaned her head closer to her shoulder, looking at you innocently.

Well, you had your theories, but Ellie hadn't told you officially what was happening, so all you could do was to shake your head. Dina scoffed at that, mumbling something very similar to an unbelievable 'of course she didn't'. Other than this small bit, once you allowed Jesse to join the breakfast again, it was a fun morning. As usual, you and the boy didn't hold a single comment back, making Dina laugh throughout the whole time.

It was your time to help Tommy with some things around Jackson and the patrols around it, but it was quite fun if you had to say. Tommy was a lovely guy - and ever since he stuck with you after Eve had passed away, you were looking up to him even more. And you're also screwing his brother, you slut, you told to yourself. This particular piece of information made your eyes widen. Jesus, where did that come from? Ever since this thing popping inside your head, you really couldn't think about anything else - not even Tommy's jokes made you laugh.

To have everything fucked by the evening, there was another meeting about the patrols - which was exactly what you needed, right? Another evening to strategize about sitting somewhere where Joel couldn't see. But what needed to be done, that needed to be done - especially when this meeting was supposed to assign groups for the coming up winter and spring.

It came off as expected - Tommy paired himself with Joel mostly, you had Ellie by your side, Dina and Jesse were together and Diego was assigned to Maria. There were occasions where you and Ellie would pick a kid from the patrol group. showing them what to do, but so far so good - this winter seemed to be cool. In the middle of the meeting, just when Tommy was talking about some shit that wasn't concerning you, again, you kinda turned your brain off and let your eyes just wander around the fucking room. Which you obviously shouldn't do.

Joel was just listening to his baby brother talking about stuff, leaning his ass to one of the tables as he drank his coffee. He wasn't listening from the moment Tommy grouped himself with Joel again. It didn't seem that you're hiding so far in the back that evening. You were sitting there, obviously, you weren't paying attention to Tommy for a long time. Your eyes were wandering around the room until the point they fell on him. For a moment, you were just staring at him and you probably didn't even realize you were. But it was bloody funny once you realized who you were looking at - immediately, you shifted your attention to Tommy. Nervously biting your lip this time. Wait a minute...

Joel did expect a lot from you - a look of disgust, aversion maybe, some confusion or anger... But you were just visibly nervous. Joel was purposely searching for some negative emotion in your face, for any red flag showing him you don't wanna even see him again, yet he didn't find any. That was the breaking point - he caught up with you as soon as the meeting ended, taking you aside to ask you some stuff which you two hadn't quite solved. And to solve it properly this time - already knowing how will he mess all of it up from the moment you agreed to talk to him.

You were one hella nervous-looking girl. Maybe it was that you were sobber, but your eyes were all over the place and you were playing with the hem of your shirt. - "Why we ain't talkin', girl? Did I mess somethin' up?" - The man whispered as you both stood on the other side of the street, talking rather quietly. It would be embarrassing if someone would hear even the slightest bit of your conversation.

This whole thing was confusing the shit out of you. With him being distant, possibly even cold to you, the whole month you didn't come to ask him if he liked it, it was hard to believe that he liked it. And that Joel maybe wanted to repeat it. And not once. This solution didn't come across as an answer for you, which was why you were looking at him as if you couldn't even speak proper English.

"No? How... Why... Why do you even think you've done something wrong?" - You whispered back, stepping more into the shadows. Jesus, you didn't remember missing his smell until the very moment you sniffed it again. You didn't remember how easy was to get aroused around him. You didn't know you missed these darkened eyes watching you, or the confident smirk on his face.

"Well, I woke up and you were nowhere to be seen. Quite easy to make somethin' outta that." - Joel sighed, looking around. There was one group standing a bit away from you, probably thinking about sneaking out of the city that night again.

"It... It wasn't like that." - A mumble left your lips as you watched the tips of your boots. - "I panicked, okay? I sobered up and I just thought that you might not like it as much as I did, and all the things you've told me before it happened... It was a lot." - You apologized, at least sorta apologized, Joel for your behavior. The man nodded and licked his lips - you almost missed the smug that appeared on his face. - "I couldn't even imagine how would it work, how..."

"And if I tell you to come today so I can show you how much of a torture it was for me?" - Joel asked you out of the blue, looking somewhere away from you. That made your breath hitch and eyes widen. You'd love that. You would. Yet it made you so nervous that you almost ignored a newcomer completely. It was Diego, who was visibly confused by seeing you and Joel talk in the shadows.

"Am I interrupting something?" - The black-haired boy looked at Joel, pointing at you with a wide smile. It could be seen that you're distant - it was because you had the imagination of you and Joel on your mind, both naked, inside his bedroom. Which was exciting. - "Not at all, son. What do you need?" - Joel grinned at him, trying how much fucked up he can get you before getting you into his bed.

"Um, it's kinda weird to talk about it in front of you, sir." - Diego chuckled, clearly respecting everything about that man. That poor boy was just about to ask you out, after the damned month he was building up the courage to do that. And just a moment after the man haunting your head asked you to come later that day.

"I won't tell a livin' soul, I swear." - Joel grinned at the boy. You were just standing there, already aroused from the damned question Joel asked you teasingly and now, he was pretty much enjoying seeing you in such a state. What a motherfucker.

"We're... I mean, me and a few other kids, are about to go for the last swim of the summer... And I was wondering if you'd like to go with me... I mean, us, of course." - The boy got out so silently that you could barely catch what he was asking about. When you realized, your eyes popped up.

The pressure was building inside you fast enough for you breath hitching for a second, while you had your cheeks on fire. You shot a look to Joel, who already knew your answer, and that motherfucker was just grinning. Then you turned your head back to Diego, making a sad face.

"I'm really tired to do that. I have to help in the kitchen tomorrow, so I'll be busy... I want to catch some sleep." - Your palm smoothed Diego's shoulder gently so he'd know you mean it. You were helping in the kitchen the following morning, so that wasn't a complete lie. But you were more than awake at that moment.

The boy seemed to be surprised you turned him down. He thought that you and he were building something since fall had started. You were together a lot, almost all the time, he was making you relaxed and laughing, he thought about kissing you many times as well. Maybe, he should've gone for it instead of just thinking about it. He was sure you'll come with them. But you told him no.

"Oh, sure. No problem. See you around then, I gotta go." - The boy gave you an honest smile and nodded to Joel as he was leaving slowly. His face was still saddened tho. - "Have fun, tho!" - You called out at the boy, feeling a palm creeping up your thigh even though Diego still had a clear view of you, and then a palm holding your ass pretty firmly. It was done in such a manner that Diego couldn't see a thing, yet you could feel Joel perfectly.

"What is this supposed to," - "Meet me at my place in twenty, 'kay?" - The man breathed out, already feeling himself hardening due to that small contact. After that, the palm slowly slapped you as he left you just standing there.

Confusion took hold on you once again. At least, it was a euphoric confusion this time. He liked it. He liked the night he spent with you. Joel Miller wanted to see you again, more like demanded it. His back were slowly disappearing out of your sight as you stood there with your panic mode turned on.

20 minutes was all he gave you. It was merely enough to take some seductive underwear on unless you'd make a run for it. So you ran for that shit to your home. And you almost hit Ellie with your shoulder when you just started sprinting.

She caught your shoulders to prevent you from falling, looking you in the eyes. She hasn't seen you in such a rush - never. You seemed like you can't keep your mind straight. - "What is wrong with you, baby?" - Ellie started to laugh, having Dina chuckle at you as well.

A good sign was that they both been talking before you almost killed Ellie singlehandedly. Their friendship seemed to be saved, which was great. But it wasn't concerning you in the slightest bit at the moment.

"I left my iron on. I need to turn it on right now!" - You yelled chaotically, already running off. Jesse was confusedly watching both Dina and Ellie starting to laugh. - "Why is that so funny?" - The boy asked when he circled his hand around Dina's shoulder and kissing her forehead right after.

Ellie wiped the tears away, shaking her head at the sight of you disappearing in the night. - "This girl had never ironed clothes in her life." - "Never before." - Dina finished, laughing with Ellie.

"She's probably going with Diego and other kids, they're sneaking out of the town." - Jesse assumed. That made sense. You've been always ready to do random bullshit, so going out of a midnight swim? That was you.

Well... Only if the things weren't completely different...

In record fifteen minutes, you found yourself creeping through Joel's neighborhood to see if anyone's out before knocking on the door.

He had enough time to prepare you at least a beer like a gift or something, but he chuckled at the things your behavior was saying about the things you had on your mind was enough.

"Come in, suit yourself." - Joel stepped aside, smiling at the sight of you. You were so damn cute with that small grin. You were also wearing a different t-shirt - this one wasn't yours since it was too tight and showed a good portion of your cleavage. He had never seen you wearing this one.

"Are you trying to support my alcoholism? A gentleman at his best, huh?" - You grinned upon seeing the beer served on the countertop.

"That wouldn't be too responsible, would it?" - Joel answered you, but took the second beer and toasted you before taking a good long swing. You did so too, gently meeting his bottle halfway. - "Is anything of this responsible, Joel?"

You were there again, doing exactly what you wished for and what you've told you're not ever doing again. It was strangely exciting. Honestly, you were wet beyond your wildest dreams and you could already feel the blood inside you boiling. It was quite exciting to stand there for a moment, watching each other. You almost felt as if Joel was too far away from you. With that, you put the bottle down, coming that one step closer to him. Gently, you tiptoed and put your palm on the nape of his neck, pulling him down for a kiss. This man's palms were exploring the entirety of your back thighs and ass.

How comes you haven't noticed how long his fingers were before? And how firmly he could squeeze things with them? You thought that you're maybe about to fuck on the countertop, but a hiss came directly to your ear. - "Come on, girl, take off these shoes for me."

Directly after that, he gave your ass one good slap, making you chuckle. But soon, as you saw that smile, you did what he had told you. The whole way to stairs up, you both leaned away for a while to take off another article clothes before leaning in for another heated kiss. By the time you were walking into the bedroom, you were only in your panties, while Joel stopped you before taking off his t-shirt, so you took the briefs instead. And lemme say, he was prepared to take you right there and then, but he didn't do that.

You were very confused once he laid down on his back. You smiled when you figured out that most probably, he wants you to ride him one more time, so you climbed to sit on his lap, biting your lip.

"I figured out you like it on the top, girl. You up?" - He chuckled when you palmed the shaft down there while Joel closed his eyes, smoothing both your thighs gently. It was quite fun to watch him react to the things you were doing - you hadn't seen a boy doing any soft pants under your touch. Joel even went to far to let out gentle groans sometimes. - "Jesus, get these off for me and climb 'ere." - The man looked at you, patting his stomach. You grinned as you pushed the panties away, wondering about why wants you on his belly. But you did as you were told.

"Good try, try it a bit higher." - The man chuckled at seeing you clueless. With even weirder expression, you climbed higher, now hugging his shoulders with your inner thighs. What the fuck was that for? You could feel his forearms circling your thighs, suddenly pushing you forward so aggressively that you had to put your elbows under you so you wouldn't fall on the mattress. Sure, you've been eaten out before, but it wasn't such a miracle everyone was talking about. On top of that, you were always laying on your side while the guys were usually kneeling in front of the bed.

You looked down on Joel to see him staring at you being completely wet - so much you could start dripping at any second. And suddenly, you heard him chuckling under you. Which honestly got you confused. - "What's so funny, cowboy?" - You whispered before you felt the beard kissing your right inner thigh.

"Nothin'. I'm just impressed by the view." - The man answered just seconds before his tongue and lips disappeared between your legs. At that feeling, you closed your eyes and moaned. You weren't even caring about your volume at that moment, you were just moaning louder and louder so the man would know how much you're enjoying what he's doing. It took you by a surprise when he slapped you to get you lean into his face, but you rocked against him just as he expected as he thought you'd.

"Girl, be so kind and pick yourself on your knees for me, will you?" - You didn't even realize he had stopped until the moment he spoke to you. You were just too lost in the feeling. Was it the attraction that made it all so much more enjoyable? Or maybe the fact he knew what he was doing? You didn't know, but you kneeled on top of him, watching half of the handsome face being covered by your own body. - "Now, put your hand in my hair, come on." - The man encouraged you while smoothing small circles on your thighs. Jesus, you must've looked so dumb and unskilled. With a gentle sigh, you did as you were told.

"Show me how you want it." - The man whispered, kissing your inner thighs gently. To try it out, you pulled on his hair gently, making these eyes shot directly to your face at that moment. He was listening to what you were about to show or tell, it didn't matter. Carefully, you entwined your fingers inside that maybe-a-bit-too-long hair, picking his head up to put it back where it belonged. Suddenly, when you closed your eyes because of all the nice things he was doing, you realized that he wasn't talking to you in such a matter. He didn't like to make fun of you because he knew these things and you didn't.

You had the upper hand at the moment. You were the one in charge. You deliberately chose to do this with him, again, and this was his way of paying him back without talking. And he also wanted you to learn you these things one by one, one step at a time. When that clicked inside your brain, you carefully put your other hand into his hair, massaging his scalp in the process to show him how much you were into it.

"Just don't stop, Texas." - You whispered town to him and when he hummed back as an answer, you thought you're coming for a moment there. It sent vibrations through your whole body, making you moan once again. When you, again, though things can't get any better, you felt two fingers slipping inside of you. You thought it might hurt at first, but your eyes rolled as soon as he moved them inside of you. Not like the last time when he was just making sure you're ready. Joel was taking his fucking time that night.

Watching you was the most erotic thing he had ever seen - and Joel had seen some stuff before you, alrite? Through the time, you learned that you can ride his face, which made you mutter out his name here and there, then you bent your head and let out another erotic sound. His jaws were on fucking fire... But how could he stop? That was until you tugged his hair again, making him lay down again. Only his fingers pumping in and out remained inside of you.

"Just take me already, will you be so kind?" - You asked silently, climbing off of him. He couldn't quite even climb on his elbows properly and there you were, already tugging on his t-shirt to bring closer. But you weren't going to kiss his mouth, no. Which made the man surprised. Instead of that, you hissed a small trail on his neck while your palm slipped under his t-shirt, gently scratching his back. - "Look at her, she's a natural."  - Joel chuckled light-heartedly, pinning you down finally.

It was safe to say that neither of you lasted long, but there was nothing to wonder about. Letting the things gather inside for a month? Geez, nobody would go for hours after that. When Joel was trying to catch his breath, you pulled him close, letting him rest his head on your chest while unknowingly smoothing his hair. Which was probably his most favorite thing ever - the moments of vulnerability just moments after the act itself.

You were warm and fragile, something he had to protect. At least that what his head was thinking. In reality, he knew how good you were with a fucking bow since he learned you on his own, he had seen you survive some things... You weren't a small, fragile doll. - "I'm going for a shower, okay?" - You ended the small moment by kissing his forehead, leaving the bed. - "Will it be weird to borrow something? I kinda don't wanna go for the clothes, I'm too done for that." - You mumbled, trying to at least stand up. This man was capable of having your legs behaving like jello with the orgasms he could bring. He grunted, already throwing a t-shirt on you. - "Take your time, I’ll fetch somethin' to drink and the clothes, yea?" - He told you, already leaving the room, searching for his briefs in the process.

When you were done with the shower, the bedroom was prepared for you, your clothes folded on a small pile on the table, both beers standing on the nightstand. But Joel was sitting on the edge with Ellie's guitar, playing something. He was lost in the moment until you laid behind him, snuggling under the blanket. He almost put the guitar away, but your palm stopped him. - "Play something for me, Texas. Please?"

And he did. He remained playing until he noticed you're already asleep. And for the first time in a long time, Joel wasn't feeling alone.

[badluckbee]

the last of us part 2 opinions that no one asked for but i need to get out of my system !!SPOILERS!!

i literally don’t give a shit if the story is for you or not, art is subjective. BUT i think that there are some fundamental misunderstandings about what makes a good game or not?? idk you’re welcome to disagree but people are throwing around a lot of “i didn’t like it, therefore it is bad” ideas & it’s not sitting right with me. there’s gonna be spoilers in this post you’ve been warned.

i loved this game. it challenged me and even though it has its issues, it was still really good it still made me think and feel things so some of these reviews have seriously made me go ??!??!?!?!??

if you didn’t like tlou2 and want to argue with people that did like it about how bad a game it is i’m not going to do that,, you can go play the first game again i’m not stopping you from not liking and not playing this game. this is simply my perception of the game and the most common criticisms i’ve seen.

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if the only reason you don’t like the game is because boohoo they killed my favourite character,, literally as someone who has had the majority of my favourite characters die, they didn’t disrespect joel by killing him & ppl being THIS babyish about it & calling for them to rewrite the whole story is immature and embarrassing as fuck. that’s my biggest problem with the “fanbase” right now, we all knew that joel did a bad thing in saving ellie and we know that he’s done a ton of bad things before that, remember “we’re shitty people, joel, it’s been that way for a long time”?? tess wasn’t wrong, it makes sense that someone someday would come back for him and they did. if that’s what you’re mad about lol get a grip it’s not like we don’t see him throughout the whole game. (also i thought we all knew he was gonna die from the first trailer anyway) (also also did you guys not pick up on it when there was a song where the first line was “if i ever were to lose you, i’d surely lose myself” they laid out the whole game for you right there lmao)

things i’ve seen in reviews repeatedly that didn’t sit right:

1) joel and tommy wouldn’t have trusted abby.

joel and tommy have been living in a close knit community for four years with friends and family, there’s already a false sense of security. as far as they know, this is just a group passing through, they had no reason at all to believe that there was any malicious intent after not only saving abby but abby returning the favour and helping them out. they’ve never met them before, up until ‘the moment’ they’re very nice and welcoming, they also needed abby to trust them if they were all going to get out of that mess of infected alive. (ppl also forget that in the first game joel was, although hesitant, still perfectly willing to trust and travel with people, including henry and sam, who were kids just like this group so don’t play the ‘first game’ card)

2) ellie should have killed abby.

you’re seriously trying to tell me that killing abby would magically cure ellie of her ptsd??? if you weren’t blinded by your love of joel you’d know that’s not true lol literally the point is that killing her wouldn’t bring joel back it would only leave lev alone and vulnerable like ellie was and the meaningless violence would continue. literally none of the killing the characters did in this game made them feel remotely better, that’s the point. abby moved on from her pain by finding lev and looking after him, not by killing joel, just like ellie needs to begin to heal, not kill abby. if you wanted that fight to have a choice of whether you could kill abby or not i could POSSIBLY accept that but i would absolutely choose to spare abby every time. that last fight didn’t feel right anyway imo, i wanted to let her go before they even started.

3) ellie should have ended up with dina.

this game is shouting at your face that your actions have consequences!! no other ending made sense, if ellie killed abby and went back to find dina & jj still at the farm waiting for her there would be no lesson learned and no character growth!!

3) you shouldn’t have played as abby.

this is a grey one to me, i absolutely think you should play as abby but i think that the order was a little off, no one would be rooting for her over ellie after she killed a favourite character but if you have an open mind abby’s section of the game is really really fun and has some of the best moments in the game. i have some thoughts about what i personally think would have been super cool and i’m going to put it at the end of this post on the off chance that someone reads it but i totally get why they did it the way they did and it worked very well from abby’s day 2 onwards!!

4) it’s too violent?????

tell me what i’m missing here??? nd was as transparent as possible that this is a violent game centred around revenge and hatred that would feature brutal violence, smart ai and devastating cutscenes. yet there are people complaining that the game is too violent WHILE describing how bad they want to fuck up abby???? i understand not enjoying the violence, i wasn’t too bothered bc i’m pretty desensitised & i use way more stealth anyway but there were moments when it didn’t feel right & that’s okay?? that’s what they warned us about???

5) it’s just pushing an agenda, it’s too sjw.

people exist that are not male, white, straight and cis. stop crying about it.

i know no one will read this but i had a thought about a way to order the story to connect more with abby & needed to put it somewhere:

ok imagine for a minute if they had marketed it as a spinoff not a new game with new characters & no ellie or joel. you start as abby from her first day in seattle, forget everything before that for now!! imagine playing from there through to day 3 as normal, there are some very vague references to her dad dying and to her finally finding the killer but nothing that’s a giveaway for who her dad was or what happened in jackson. then we get to day 3 and that sniper scene (which was fuckin spectacular btw) and we see that it’s tommy there and it’s like ??!??!?!?!!??!? but we have to let it go for now to move the story on until we get to the theatre and we see eLLIE ?!???!??!?!!?!!?!!!!? and that’s where it cuts off and we go back and play as ellie and we see what abby did

i’m not a writer and i know that there would be problems with doing it that way but wouldn’t it be such a plot twist if we had been playing as abby from the start and connected with her and her friends more before finding out that ellie and tommy are even in the game never mind on their way to kill us??? i get why they didn’t do that though lol no one would have played it.

anyway this post isn’t attacking people for not liking the game or thinking that there are issues, this post is specifically about the people that claim that it’s objectively a bad game because they personally don’t like it.

here are some fuckin good awe-worthy moments that people are conveniently forgetting about:

- this is personal but tommy is one of, if not my favourite character, at least to me he’s one of the most interesting so seeing jeffrey pierce get more screentime was a big win for me!!

- jesse, yara and lev are DELIGHTFUL i love them v v much

- the museum i cried so much it’s so cute

- the acting!!?!?!?? especially ashley, the scene where ellie forced the truth out of joel is my favourite scene in either game acting-wise it BROKE me

- i said it before but the sniper scene was incredible

- the rat king!!! i'm a wimp it was so scary but man that reveal was fantastic

- abby’s fear of heights,, HELLO that scene on the bridges!!! i’m not scared of heights but it really got me

- the hotel!! how does nd manage to make hotels so scary

- the switch between playable characters was a plot twist and a half!!!! i gasped it was so unexpected i loved it!!!

- actually showing that the characters aren’t invincible and struggle with what they’ve been through,, showing ellie’s ptsd was so important!!!!

- ok idk why but the scene in the first game with david in the restaurant makes me so nervous every time,, i start shaking and sometimes i cry when i finish it bc that’s the definition of horror to me i HATE it it’s too scary. so when i got to that parallel with ellie and abby at the theatre and ellie was ‘the david’ of that encounter i had to sit and think about it for a long time, that scene shook me and i love nd for doing that!!

there’s probably more but this is already the longest post i’ve ever made & i’m tired (i’m not the best at getting my points across as well so if there’s anything that’s worded weirdly that’s on me)

[saphicfreshman]

SPOILER TLOU2!!!

I've just completed the last of us part II in 26 hours and this may be an unpopular opinion but I absolutely love this game!

The gameplay is actually a lot of fun because as a player you have more options to move than in the first game, so it felt more organic and the visuals are absolutely stunning, which we can probably all agree on.

Personally I think it is completely amazing how many things you can adjust in the settings and how many accessibility options there are.

Concerning the story: I think that the story is just as good if not even better than the story in tlou part 1 and I know that a lot of fans of the first game apparently didn't enjoy playing tlou 2 at all, which is completely fine because everyone is allowed to have their own opinion. However, I saw that many people are saying that naughty dog or Neil Druckmann ruined this story or the characters. Which I personally really cannot understand. I found the story to be very well written with a lot of twists and turns, which made it not only interesting to play but also a lot more immersive because I really felt the emotions of actually all the characters in this game.

Ellie's rage is completely justified. After all, she just lost Joel and I think most people who played the first game can agree that seeing Joel die in front of our eyes was just absolutely horrible and at least I was also incredibly angry at Abby and wanted to take revenge.

However, Abby's rage is also completely justified. I think that Ellie and Abby are actually quite alike. Abby lost her father through Joel's hands. So can we really blame her for killing Joel? She killed him because of the same reason Ellie wanted to kill her. They wanted to avenge the death of their father.

And that she killed Jesse and nearly killed Tommy is also understandable because Ellie killed most of her friends, her lover and Alice, the dog... Think about it... the death of a dog was enough justification for the rampage of John Wick, so why should the murder of multiple people not be a reasonable explanation for her motives.

There are no good people in this game. Nobody is innocent but we can still relate to all of the characters and understand their actions. In my opinion this makes the game so special. There are no heroes and there are no villains. In this game are just people...people who think that what they are doing is right with motives that we can understand.

Obviously this game is not for everyone. If you are looking for a light-hearted game, that has a lot of peaceful and happy moments then this game is definitely not for you but if you don't mind thinking about serious topics and playing a game even though it may sometimes make you feel guilty for killing someone or may shock you with brutal scenes, then you should give it a chance because I think this game is a masterpiece.

And PLEASE to all the tlou fans be kind to the actors/voice actors of the tlou characters they are real people who have nothing to do with the actions of their characters in the game. I'm saying this because a lot of people have been horrible to Laura Bailey and that is simply not okay. I think her performance in this game was amazing and I wish her all the best. So please, if you didn't enjoy the second game then that's fine, but don't let your frustration out on other people!

[tifa-lockedhart]

After stewing in my thoughts from playing The Last of Us Part II, I have some things that I kind of want to mention. Also this is a long post for my standards, If you read it all, kudos to you. There are definitely spoilers in here so beware

The closer I got to the end of the game, the less it felt like a revenge story, and the more it felt like a story about forgiveness. Naughty Dog definitely advertised it as a revenge story and shows how that cycle of violence doesn’t really end, and yeah it is, but it’s not entirely that. The most obvious example of this is during Ellie’s final flashback with Joel when she says something like, “I’m not sure I can ever forgive you, but I’d like to try.”, it not only shows how, in the moment, she is forgiving Joel of his actions, but she is also trying to forgive herself and possibly Abby as well. Ellie found out too late that revenge wasn’t  going to make her feel better, and that for her, forgiveness is a step towards being able to heal herself. Abby had a similar forgiveness story, but at a different pace than Ellie. She found out after killing Joel that it didn’t make her feel any better. And she is shown to find forgiveness for herself through flashbacks of her running through the hospital from the end of the first game. In the first of these scenes, it’s dark, and very unsettling, and she ends up finding her dad dead on the floor of the operating room, clearly having been killed. In the last hospital scene, she opens the door to find him smiling at her, which shows that she made peace with herself and the death of her father. but she only made peace once she took care of Lev and forgave herself.

2. I felt that how Jesse was killed rubbed me the wrong way a bit. I’ll admit that I didn’t want him dead in the first place because I absolutely love him. I understand that having Abby kill him in such an offhand way was the point and showed how brutal she was, but I’m not sure how much it actually furthered the plot to do that. His death wasn’t really addressed in a real way later in the game. I honestly had forgotten he was dead a few times.

3. Tommy absolutely  pissed me off at the end. I am not sure that a game has ever made me feel quite so angry at another character as this one. I don’t think it was right for him to come into Dina and Ellie’s home to tell them that Abby is still alive and that he knows where she is. Ellie has been trying her hardest to get live a comfortable life with Dina after all the trauma they went through in Seattle, and Tommy just expects her to drop it and go after Abby? Not only does he tell her the location Abby was at, he guilts her into going because of her promise to avenge Joel earlier in the game. It works, she does end up leaving her family to go get Abby, and she realizes way too late that it wasn’t worth it.

4. JJ is so cute and that shouldn’t be allowed. Also the entire fun farm scene made me feel so good. Dina’s outfit there is the best in the game and I love her so much.

5. Both Ellie and Abby got the endings that the deserved and worked for throughout the game. I would have liked Ellie to be happy, because I love her, but it’s not really what she’s earned after everything that she’s done. It wouldn’t have felt right. It’s a Last of Us game, the ending wasn’t going to be bright and happy, I knew going in that it was probably going to hurt a bit. But I do think she ended on a kind of, I don’t want to say bittersweet, but there is a bit of hope for her at the end. She has pretty much nothing now, but the very ending scene makes me think that she is ready to start living a better life without guilt of the past weighing on her current happiness. She definitely has a lot of work to put in to be okay, but I think she is ready to go there at this point. It’s hard to say exactly what happened to Abby and Lev, but after completing the game, the boat in the title screen is docked on a sunny beach somewhere that I assume that is over by the firefly outpost that they were tracking a while back. If that is true, I think that is a good ending for them. Abby also has earned her ending because she made an effort to be better after realizing her revenge mission did nothing for her, in fact I think it made her worse off. She helped Lev and his sister even when she didn’t have to, and she risked herself to get supplies for them even though she barely knew them and had no obligation to do so. She ends up having someone to care for and someone who cares for her back, which is major for her, considering, she never seemed as close to her WLF friends as she did to Lev.

6. I’m really glad that neither Dina or Ellie was killed. The trailers heavily implied that Dina was going to get killed, which for that reason made me think that she wouldn’t, but I still had that concern in the back of my mind. I didn’t go into the game thinking that Ellie would have died, but between her fights with Abby and the blatant disregard for her own life in the later days of Seattle and the game, I had a little bit of concern.

[madeoutofcode]

The Last of Us Part II ( Playstation Exclusive, Released June 19th 2020 ) Beware of Spoilers at the end. 

Overall ⭐️10/10⭐️

When the undead became popular in the early 21st century I was only a small child, who had yet to be grasped by its grimy hold. Beyond enjoying the Left 4 Dead games, and occasionally watching the Walking Dead, I never got into the genre. Growing up I was very much into Nintendo, from Majoras Mask to Paper Mario The Thousand Year Door. The idea of a deep compelling character driven story had never crossed my mind. By 2009 I got deep into shooters and Xbox. Halo, Modern Warfare 2, the Gears of Wars games. And rarely thought twice about character and story while playing, only enjoying the gameplay.

And in 2013 something piqued my interest: Naughty Dogs The Last of Us.

I had never owned a PlayStation console before, only getting my hands on the second one on the rare occasion I visited a friend’s house. But for some reason I was extremely interested in playing this game.

So, after saving up some money I bought a used PS3 and a brand-new copy of The Last of Us. And I quickly fell in love with the game. From its story, to characters, environment. This world taught me just how much of an impact the gaming industry can have. 

I’m telling this just so you understand how important this game was to me, and just how much of an impact it had on me, 100% influencing me going into this second part of the story.

Gameplay: ⭐️8/10⭐️

The feel of the game is phenomenal. I experienced few gameplay errors. Now I’m not sure if that’s a universal experience. There was only one small moment where I had to reset a checkpoint because of a wonky jump, but no progress was lost.

The controls if you have played the first game, will be like riding a bike. From crafting to combat to stealth. It is extremely satisfying movement for me, whether it’s simply exploring during a moment of peace or getting dragged into a fight for survival, running for your life.

While combat if gruesome gory fun, the game quickly beats into your head that direct confrontation is not always if ever the best option. You are constantly outgunned and outmanned. And during the first few sections of the game I was always low on ammo, health, and crafting material.

The game forced me to rethink my playstyle. And taught me that there’s almost always another away around a fight. Once I adapted to survival rather than fighting, I felt immensely satisfied sneaking my way past opposition or stealth killing the squad of enemies that’s been sent my way.

Traversing the levels, finding collectibles, and seeing just what other people have left behind or remnants of the old world was almost always my favorite part of the game.

With that being said, I think there were moments that dragged on. For me personally, I’d probably blame my refusal to stop playing until I beat the campaign. When I wasn’t working I would start up this game, up until I had to go to bed for work the next day. Because when things kicked off they went off and only reinvigorated my rush for the next story beat.

Graphics: ⭐️9/10⭐️

As gorgeous as this game is, my one gripe would be the constant rain and darkness, which does go along with the story, but I wouldn’t have minded some change of scenery. But from the lighting of the scenery to the places I got to explore, Naughty Dog is constantly impressing me with what they’re capable of, pushing the most they can out of the PS4’s hardware.

I won’t pretend I’ve always been a hardcore Naughty Dog fan, but my recent playthrough of their Uncharted Collection and less recent playthrough of Uncharted 4 has shown me they know what they’re doing and if they keep going this way I’ll have nothing but good things to say.

Conclusion: 

Now the story section will contain spoilers, I’m telling you now, and a few more times after this. But here are some final thoughts before hand, for those who don’t want spoilers. 

This game was a fantastic experience overall. I highly recommend both games to anyone on the fence about it, (though given sales I doubt there’s many people left who hasn’t played it), This game only cements my already solid appreciation for the Naughty Dog team, and can’t wait to see what project they move onto next. 

This has been KryptonDaughter, signing off.  

Story: ⭐️10/10⭐️ (WARNING SPOILERS. LIKE MAJOR SPOILERS. AS IN DO NOT CONTINUE UNLESS YOU WANT TO BE SPOILED)

I’m giving you one last chance to get out, because there will be spoilers!

Okay. So here it goes. I’ve heard about how much hate this game has gotten. From review bombing to actual threats sent to the cast and crew, which is insane. I can understand not liking this story and wanting to keep your first game just how it was. But I respect the hell out of Naughty Dog for telling a very realistic follow up to their last game. By the time I completed the game the story meant so much to me, not only on a story telling basis but emotionally.

The moment Ellie walked into Joel’s house I became 100% invested in where this story was going. I understood her thought process and feelings perfectly. And knowing how badly she needed this closure but also knowing how revenge often goes, considering the world ND has built.

On the other hand the whole time I couldn’t help but think: “Joel probably did something to deserve this.” Because yes, you grow attached to both these characters through the course of the first game, but even then you get hints of Joel’s story and what he did to make sure he and Tommy survived to get to when you play as him in the first game.

I felt such a sense of humanity switching to Abby, playing out those days in Seattle knowing what happens to her friends as Ellie makes her way to find her. I couldn’t hate her character. I could be angry about her killing Joel but even then, when her backstory is unveiled, I sympathized with her so much.

I lost my grandfather growing up. He didn’t get killed or anything, he died peacefully in his sleep, and I got to hold his hand while he did so. But he was someone who wasn’t my father who taught me so much about taking care of myself, from cooking to laundry to driving. I could sympathize with both protagonists. I wanted to give them both that closure they needed.

Seeing Abby grow into the same role Joel had with Ellie, was wonderful. Finding out that killing Joel didn’t help her move on, and by the end of the game, Ellie finding out that killing Abby wouldn’t help her move on, was such a fantastic character story to follow.

I was a terribly angry, hateful person in my teen years, and couldn’t start moving for my loss for a long time. I wanted both of these characters to move on but understood why they couldn’t. And being able to see both stories through meant more to me than the last game.

This game by the end became one of if not my favorite game of the past few years. And I thank Naughty Dog for their incredible dedication and hard work on it.

[spoookymuulders]

you make my heart beat like the rain

read it on ao3 here total word count: 11,187 chapter word count: 4,120 warnings: none

chapter three. and all of these moments just might find their way into my dreams tonight. in which abigail williams spills her coffee.

The first time Penelope Garcia walked into May Castillo’s shop, May was sure she was lost. After all, why would someone who dressed like a walking, talking rainbow come into the local new age shop? But Penelope had puttered around for a while before selecting a few crystals and bringing them to the counter with a big, broad smile, and now, May finds herself hoping that it’s Penelope coming in every time the door to the shop opens.

It usually is.

Today is no different. May is sitting at the counter, flipping through a book slowly when the door opens and she spies the tell-tale bright pink of Penelope’s favorite pair of heels. 

“Morning, Penelope.” She calls. Penelope pokes her head around a book display, smiling sweetly, and May feels her heart jump. 

“Hi!” Penelope says brightly. She comes to the counter and sets a paper cup on the table, grinning. “I got you a coffee.” May blinks twice, looking between Penelope and the coffee for a moment. 

“Why?” She asks finally. The smile on Penelope’s face falters for half a second, but May notices and grabs the coffee, taking a sip - it’s perfect, just the way she likes it. 

“I remembered you saying the other day that your coffee machine at home broke, so I thought I’d treat you to some.” Penelope tells her. May watches her for another moment, then smiles, reaching over and squeezing Penelope’s hand lightly.

“Thanks, Pen.” She says gently. Penelope’s smile is back full force now as she beams at May, and May takes a moment to consider how different they truly are. Penelope’s dress today is a deep blue with flowers printed all over it. She wears a bright pink cardigan over top of it to match her bright pink heels, and her hair is done up in big curls. 

May, however, lands on the opposite end of the spectrum. While Penelope is all bright colors and fun patterns, May is much more comfortable in Earth tones - today, for instance, she’s opted for a pair of sienna-colored skinny jeans and an ivory sweater. And Penelope’s heels add a solid five inches to her height, while May’s deep brown flats do nothing for hers. 

How exactly they ended up becoming such close friends, May isn’t sure. And she’s not sure she’ll ever really know, but she’s okay with that. If she had to say, she’d tell you it’s probably just because Penelope has such a loud personality, and they balance each other out. The very first time she’d come into the shop, Penelope had ended up inviting May over for a girls night with herself and her friends JJ and Emily five minutes in. And May wasn’t exactly new in town - she’d been living there for about four years at the time - but she didn’t exactly have many friends, either, so she’d taken the blonde up on the offer.

And she’d found herself with three new friends and a recurring girls night every Friday. Eventually, Penelope had involved a few of the other girls in town - Abby (who worked with her at the animal sanctuary), Callie (the nurse at Callahan Elementary and Abby’s twin sister), and Ellie (who ran the diner).

“Did you hear there’s a new girl in town?” Penelope asks, leaning against the counter and bringing May back to the present. May chuckles, nodding - Penelope is always the best source for gossip, and May’s fairly certain that she knows the gossip about certain people before they even know they’re being gossipped about.

“I saw her walk by yesterday.” May hums, sipping at her coffee. “I think Abby said she’s staying over at Haley’s. I was thinking about bringing her some muffins or something.”

“Oh my gosh, we should totally bake her something!” Penelope gasps, and May admires the way her entire face lights up at the very idea of it. “We could ask Kristy for help, too! May, that would be so fun!”  May laughs softly, nodding.

“Alright, let’s get together and bake her something, then.” She chuckles. Penelope squeals and claps lightly, then glances at her watch. 

“I gotta go, but I’ll text you about baking! We’ll make a whole girls night of it!” She says, waving as she scurries away. May watches her go, shaking her head fondly as her heels click-click-click out of the shop, then sighs slowly. She shakes herself a little, forcing herself out of her daydreams, and busies herself with rearranging the items on the counter.

****

If there’s one thing Abigail Williams hates, it’s being late. To anything, really, but especially to work. The line at the coffee shop didn’t seem to care this morning, however, and she rushes into the animal sanctuary five minutes late, immeasurably grateful that Penelope doesn’t actually care all that much if she’s late as long as she shows up.

“I’m here, Pen!” She shouts, hurrying around the counter and setting the coffees down. She tugs off her coat and hangs it up before flopping into her chair, spinning it back towards the desk as she settles. “I come bearing coffee!” The familiar clicking of Penelope’s heels announces her arrival and Abby looks up with a sheepish smile as her boss and best friend emerges from the back hall. She holds up Penelope’s coffee and the blonde grins at her, leaning down to peck her cheek lightly.

“Emily’s supposed to come by today with some new designs for the wall mural.” Penelope says, leaning on the counter. “Other than that, we don’t have a whole lot going on today.” Abby nods, sipping at her own coffee and humming - maybe she’ll actually get to meet the elusive Emily Prentiss today. Every time she’s gone to a girls night, Emily’s had to reschedule for some reason or another and Abby’s started to wonder if she actually exists. After a moment, she looks up at Penelope and squints.

“You saw May this morning, didn’t you?” She asks. Penelope gapes at her, sputtering for a moment.

“How do you always know?” Penelope whines, and Abby laughs quietly.

“You get this goofy smile whenever you go see her, Pen.” The brunette says, “It’s so painfully obvious how much you like her.”

“Do you think she knows?” Penelope asks anxiously. Abby shakes her head. 

“Nah. I think she’s totally clueless, honestly. But you should ask her out!” She says. 

“Oh, no. No no no, I couldn’t do that.” Penelope says quickly, shaking her head. “Nope. If I ask her out and she doesn’t feel the same way that ruins everything, Ab!” Before either of them can say anything else, the buzzer at the back door sounds and they jump a little.

“That must be the shipment of the new dog food for Mrs. Carson.” Abby says as a car pulls up to the curb. She hops up and grabs her coffee, waving a hand. “You do this, I’ll go deal with the delivery.” And with that, she scurries to the back door as the buzzer sounds again, her pale pink skirt flouncing around her knees as she goes. The bell above the door jingles brightly as Emily slips inside and grins at Penelope. 

“What’s up, PG?” She asks, hugging Penelope lightly. She steps back and sets a folder on the counter, flipping it open and laying out a few images she’s drawn up on her iPad over the past week or so. The two get so wrapped up in talking about and planning the mural that neither of them notices Abby’s reappearance until the door into the back hall closes and they both turn around.

As soon as Abby lays eyes on Emily, she drops her coffee. As it splashes against her shins, she thanks whatever higher power there is that she’d decided to go with an iced coffee instead of a hot today. But looking at Emily Prentiss, who could blame her for losing her grip on everything? Because Emily Prentiss, with her dark hair and dark eyes and fair skin and sweet smile, is the most beautiful woman Abby’s ever seen.

She squeaks, the chill of the coffee jerking her back to reality and she rushes to grab the paper towels from the desk. As she starts wiping up the coffee, a pair of black boots steps into her vision and she looks up, cheeks burning hotter than the sun. Emily is crouched in front of her, helping to wipe up the coffee and handing her the now-empty cup with a gentle smile.

“Hi.” Emily says.

“Hi.” Abby returns softly. They stand and Abby hurries to toss the paper towels into the trash before drying her hands with another one quickly. Emily approaches and holds out a hand, one which Abby takes and shakes lightly. Penelope watches the interaction with narrowed eyes.

“I’m Emily. You must be Abby?” 

Abby nods, clearing her throat. “It’s nice to meet you finally.” She says. Emily grins and nods.

“You too.” She says warmly. “Penelope talks about you all the time, I’m sorry we haven’t gotten to meet sooner.” Abby nods, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear absently. “I was almost starting to think you didn’t exist.”

Abby blinks at that, then smiles. “I was starting to think the same about you.” She says, and when she giggles, Emily’s heart flutters. Emily’s phone buzzes in her pocket and she digs it out, huffing quietly.

“I’ve gotta go, Pen, but look over those designs and text me!” She says. As she leaves, she glances over her shoulder and gives Abby one last smile. “Nice to meet you.” She says. Abby nods, watching her go. As soon as she’s out the door, Abby sighs softly and puts her hands to her cheeks.

“You never said she was gorgeous.” She says dreamily. Penelope laughs brightly and guides Abby back towards her chair behind the desk. “Seriously, Pen, in all the times you’ve mentioned her, you never told me how pretty she is.” Abby flops into her chair and puts her chin in her hand, watching as Emily’s car pulls away from the curb. Chuckling quietly, Penelope pats Abby’s shoulder gently. 

“Now who’s got the crush?” She teases gently, laughing and hurrying away when Abby turns and throws a pompom decoration at her.

****

Zoe is slowly starting to learn her way around town - granted, she’s only been here for two-and-a-half weeks, but she’s figuring it out. She’s still on the hunt for an apartment of her own and she’s slowly warming up to the people she’s met. Luke and Hotch were easy to warm up to; Luke because he’s like the human embodiment of a golden retriever, Hotch because he reminds Zoe of her favorite uncle. JJ had introduced Zoe to a bunch of her friends at a girls night her first weekend in town, and she’d opened up to them almost immediately - her walls are still up, naturally, but it’s easier to warm up and let herself be a little more vulnerable around other women.

And then there’s Spencer Reid.

She can’t quite figure Spencer out. When JJ had first told Zoe about him, she’d said he was like a gentle giant, and from what Zoe’s seen so far, that’s accurate. Spencer is six-foot-one and looks like he weighs a hundred pounds soaking wet, and she’s kind of terrified of him. But the kindness in his eyes and the warm smiles he gives her every time they see each other out around town are slowly pulling her out of her shell around him. Which is good, she supposes, considering JJ is her best friend and Spencer seems to hang around JJ more than anyone else.

Speak of the devil. As she parks outside the general store and climbs out, a familiar-sounding truck parks two spots down and Spencer climbs out, smiling and waving when he sees her. She waves back and heads for the front door, glancing to the side when Spencer jogs over and falls into step beside her.

“Hi.” He says, grinning down at her. She glances up and offers a small smile of her own.

“Hi.” She returns, pausing just inside the door to grab a basket. Spencer does the same, keeping pace beside Zoe easily. “Are you just gonna follow me around the store?” She asks, her tone teasing, glancing at him over her shoulder as he pauses to grab a box of cereal. Spencer chuckles, shrugging.

“Maybe I just so happen to need things from the same aisles as you.” He says. Zoe smiles a little, shaking her head, but she doesn’t say anything else. “Any luck finding an apartment?”

“Not yet.” Zoe sighs, rubbing her cheek with her good hand as they wander. “JJ and Penelope are gonna help me look this weekend. Penelope said she thinks there’s one opening up in her building.” Spencer hums.

“You could always ask Morgan.” He tells her. When she glances up at him with a furrowed brow, he points towards the front of the shop, where Morgan is standing and chattering with Krystall, both of them laughing brightly. “He fixes up houses and rents them out, I think one of them has apartments in it.” Zoe nods thoughtfully, making a mental note of that.

“How are things on the ranch?” She asks, pausing to grab a box of pasta. She pushes onto her toes in an attempt to reach a jar of pasta sauce, settling back down when Spencer leans over her and snags it. She takes it from him with a soft thank you. 

“Pretty good. Penelope’s trying really hard to get me to host a party or something after Halloween.” He hums. Zoe laughs softly, nodding - that sounds about right for Penelope Garcia. “But I’m already hosting Thanksgiving, I don’t know if I could plan something else.”

“Have Penelope plan it.” Zoe says simply, shrugging lightly. Spencer chuckles, nodding. 

“There’s an idea.” He muses. “I’ll think about that.” They continue their impromptu mutual shopping trip, chattering lightly about everything and nothing, and Zoe finds herself relaxing more and more as they talk. When they’re both finished, they make their way to the checkout lanes and unload their baskets. As the kid at the register is scanning Zoe’s groceries, Spencer calls Morgan over.

“Hey kid.” Morgan says with a grin, clapping Spencer on the shoulder lightly. Spencer returns the greeting as Zoe glances over and digs her wallet out of her purse.

“Morgan, this is Zoe. Zoe, Derek Morgan.” Spencer says. Zoe nods and shakes Morgan’s hand lightly after she sticks her card into the machine. “Morgan, one of your houses has apartments in it, right?” 

“Yeah, the one on White Street. Why? That ranch of yours finally get to be too much?” Morgan teases. Spencer rolls his eyes with a smile.

“The ranch is fine. Zoe just moved to town and is looking for an apartment.” Spencer says. Morgan raises his brows and glances at Zoe, who nods, cheeks burning.

“How soon do you need it?” He asks. Zoe shrugs.

“I’m staying at the B&B right now.” She tells him softly. Morgan nods thoughtfully. 

“Well, one of the apartments in the White Street house is open. If you want it, it’s yours, sweetheart.” Morgan says. Zoe looks up at him and she can feel tears burning behind her eyes but she wills them back.

“Really?” She asks quietly. Morgan tips his head, frowning just so.

“Yeah. There’s no furniture in it, but it’s available.” He says gently. Zoe bites the inside of her lip hard and nods. 

“That - thank you.” She says. Morgan smiles gently now, nodding. Reaching over the conveyor belt, he snags a scrap of paper and scribbles his name and number on it, along with the address of the house. 

“Gimme a call later and I’ll get you the key so you can check it out.” He says. Zoe nods and takes the paper, gathering her bags and stepping aside as Morgan slips away. She watches him go, then follows Spencer out of the shop quietly. Tucking her bags into her trunk, she closes it and leans against the car for a moment, staring at the ground. She’s pulled out of her thoughts when Spencer’s shoes appear in her vision and she glances up to see him looking at her, frowning lightly.

“Are you okay?” He asks softly. Zoe clears her throat quickly and nods.

“I wasn’t expecting to find an apartment today.” She says, hoping her voice sounds more confident than she feels. Spencer nods, watching her, not looking entirely convinced, but he drops it. 

“Well - hey, I have to drop my groceries off at home, but uh.. Do you want me to come with you? To look at the apartment?” He asks gently. Zoe bites her cheek and nods after a moment.

“That’d be good.” She says. Spencer smiles gently and nods. 

“I’ll come by the B&B in a couple hours.” He tells her. Zoe nods again, watching him go back to his truck, and climbs into the front seat of her little yellow punchbuggy. She exhales slowly and heads towards the B&B, managing to keep herself together until she gets to her room. As soon as the door is closed behind her, she sinks to the floor and leans against the bed and promptly bursts into tears.

She’s not sure how long she’s been sitting like that when a timid knock sounds at her door. She sniffles and wipes her cheeks quickly, then stands and clears her throat as she pads over to open the door. Jack stands on the other side, looking up at her with a frown on his little face.

“Are you okay?” He asks. Zoe feels a fresh wave of tears well in her eyes and she nods quickly. Before she can say anything, however, Jack throws his arms around her middle and hugs her tightly. Startled, she settles her arms around his shoulders and relaxes after a moment, exhaling unsteadily. Jack squeezes her waist and looks up at her, brown eyes warm and worried. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, buddy.” She says softly, brushing his hair back gently. “I’m okay, I promise. I’m just feeling.. A little overwhelmed.” 

“Why?” Jack asks quietly, frowning. Zoe sighs slowly, considering the best way to answer his question. She steps out of his embrace and pads over to the window, perching on the cushion there and patting the spot beside her. Jack climbs up and sits next to her, scooting as close as he can.

“For a long time, it seemed like.. Like only bad things were happening to me.” She tells him, brushing her good hand through his hair gently. He tucks himself into her side, frowning up at her. “And I was really sad for a long time. But since I moved here, I’ve made some friends and I’m feeling happy again. And it feels like good things are happening more and more often, and it just overwhelmed me.”

“I think that’s how daddy felt when we moved here.” Jack says thoughtfully. Zoe looks down at him and brushes his hair back, letting him sit with his thoughts for a moment before he continues. “He was really sad all the time. But we made lots of friends! And we talk to mommy sometimes at night. I think that helps.” Zoe smiles softly, nodding.

“How do you talk to her?” She asks.

“Daddy lights a candle before bed and we tell her about our day, and then we blow it out.” Jack tells her. Zoe nods, humming thoughtfully.

“That sounds nice.” She says softly, leaning down to kiss his hair gently. “I’m sure your mommy loves hearing from you like that.” Jack smiles up at her and hugs her again, and Zoe closes her eyes, settling her arms around the boy’s shoulders and resting her cheek to her hair.

If there’s one thing she’s learned in her years of teaching, it’s that there’s nothing quite like a hug from a child to help you feel better, no matter what the problem is. When her grandmother had passed and she’d taken a few days off to go to the funeral, she’d come back to a massive group hug from the kids she’d been student-teaching. When she’d been home sick with the flu and had finally come back, she’d gotten a huge hug from each of her students as they’d come in that morning. She rubs Jack’s back slowly, humming softly, and glances up when she hears footsteps outside the door.

Hotch is standing there, arms crossed, a small smile on his lips. Jack looks up and grins at his father, wiggling out of Zoe’s arms and running across the room. Hotch scoops him up and hugs him tightly for a moment.

“Zoe, Spencer’s here.” Hotch says, setting Jack back on the floor. Jack’s eyes light up and he scoots around Hotch’s legs, sprinting for the stairs and shouting for Spencer. Zoe nods and clears her throat.

“Do I look like a mess?” She asks. Hotch chuckles and shakes his head, picking up her sweater and holding it out. Zoe takes it and slips it on. 

“You look fine.” He promises gently. Zoe nods, fiddling with the hem of the sweater before looking up at Hotch again.

“He’s an amazing kid.” She says softly. Hotch glances towards the stairs as they slip out of Zoe’s room, smiling softly as Jack shouts something about Star Wars with Spencer. “You’ve done an incredible job with him.”

“I’ve had help.” Hotch says honestly. “It was hard when we first moved here, but we’ve made friends. A family.” Zoe nods again, glancing up as Hotch catches her arm gently at the top of the stairs. The moment of panic that bubbles in her chest is mitigated by the gentleness in Hotch’s eyes. 

“I want you to know that you can talk to me.” He says softly. Zoe watches him, brows furrowing just so as she contemplates his words. “About anything - good, bad, whatever’s going on. Like I said when you first got here, JJ didn’t tell me much about what was going on, just that it was an emergency, but if you need someone to talk to.. I’m here.”

Zoe feels tears burn behind her eyes for the third time this afternoon and she nods, offering a small smile. 

“Thank you.” She says softly. Hotch smiles gently and squeezes her shoulder lightly, and she follows him downstairs.

****

Zoe stands in the middle of the empty living room, turning around in a circle slowly. Morgan and Spencer watch her from the doorway, both with small smiles. Pushing away from the wall, Morgan joins Zoe in the middle of the room and puts his hands on his hips. 

“What d’you think?” He asks. Zoe looks up at him, her eyes bright, and when she smiles Spencer thinks it looks like the sun coming through the clouds on a rainy day. 

“It’s perfect.” She says softly. Morgan beams at her and squeezes her shoulder gently, then digs the key out of his pocket and holds it out.

“It’s all yours, sweetheart.” He says. Zoe takes the key slowly and stares up at Morgan for a long moment before she throws her arms around him and hugs him tightly. He laughs softly, surprised at the contact, and returns the hug, patting her back gently. He squeezes her shoulders again when she steps back.

“Thank you so much.” Zoe says. Morgan smiles warmly and nods.

“Don’t mention it. And if you need anything at all, my number’s on the fridge.” He tells her. Zoe nods and watches Morgan go, exhaling and looking around the living room again before her eyes land on Spencer, who grins at her.

“Welcome home.” He says. Zoe smiles again and Spencer feels his heart flip-flop within his ribs. 

“Thank you for coming with me.” She says. Spencer nods, moving to stand beside her and looking around the room slowly. “Now I just gotta find furniture - I hate moving.” Spencer laughs softly, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“Well, lucky for you, you know someone with a truck and who knows all the best antique stores in a fifty-mile radius. Plus there’s a Walmart in Freeport if you need it.” He says. Zoe laughs quietly and smiles up at Spencer again, biting her lip for a moment as she considers her next question carefully. Spencer begins to meander around the perimeter of the room, peeking out the windows curiously.

“Hey.” She says, crossing her arms as he turns around, brows raised. “Maybe you could take me on that tour of the town you promised?”

Spencer blinks once, then smiles softly.

“I’d love to.”

[imgoingtocrash]

not like anyone gives a shit about my personal two cents but like??? i need to talk about the tlou 2 ending so

Honestly, I was BEGGING for them to give up by the last hour. Watching Ellie and Abby beat the shit out of each other in the water was just so SAD. And not like, oh, I’m sad they’re fighting because I like them both sad, but just like...pitiful. Really? Ellie saved Abby just to kill her? The only way for them to have a “fair fight” is to starve Abby and stab Ellie, and instead of just giving up and going home this is what they’re doing? They’re beating the shit out of each other and it’s just like...is this worth it? Is this what Joel would have wanted for her? After he spent decades mad at the world that killed Sarah, would he REALLY want her to use up her time and energy and LIFE killing his killer after he killed Abby’s father to save her?

And then Ellie realizes that too. She’s got Abby in the water and Joel on her mind and she realizes it’s not going to do a damn thing to help the trauma she’s experienced. Joel’s memory isn’t going away if Abby dies. It’s not going away if she lives. It’s not going anywhere, the good times or the bad. She’s going to remember his death just as much as she’s going to remember nights on the porch and their favorite movies and going to the museum on her birthday.

They said since the beginning that “It’s about hate.” And all this time I thought it meant exactly what they wanted us to think it meant: Joel’s death will spur Ellie into dark territory and it’s all going to be terrible and sad.

But here’s the truth: It is a story about hate. The way that hate can become all-consuming if you let it. It’s not satisfying. It’s not helpful. It’s not healthy to your relationships. It’s not healing. It just hurts. Holding onto your hatred and grasping for revenge like a dog with a bone isn’t going to do anything productive for anyone involved.

(Just look at Tommy. Injured and on the rocks with Maria AND Dina because he couldn’t let it go. Corroding Ellie with his hatred. He can’t let it go so he’s trying to bring her down too, trying to take away the joy she’s found for herself. I imagine he’ll waste away bitter and alone in Jackson if Ellie doesn’t lie to him and claim she killed Abby, and what a callback to Joel’s actions in the first game that would be, too.)

Abby and Ellie were both killers. And yet when it came time to face their demons and make that call...they both backed down. Abby didn’t kill Dina OR Ellie despite the fact that Ellie killed ALL of her friends. Ellie didn’t kill Abby despite the fact that she killed Joel AND Jesse.

The definition of labelling someone as a monster in a world like this is complex. Bad people can do good things. We know this in the real world too--creators we love turn out to be bad people and we’re stuck examining their art and its place in our lives and questioning its worth and our ability to let it go or keep it around despite that.

So Ellie let Abby go, and that didn’t make her a good person. It didn’t cleanse her of killing Abby’s friends just like saving Ellie didn’t cancel out all of the people Joel killed to do it. Just like Abby isn’t cleansed of killing Joel just because she didn’t kill Ellie and Dina too.

They’re all, objectively, bad people. It’s a bad world with a sliding morality scale. But not taking another life, not furthering an endless cycle of violence and revenge...that’s a good thing. (Because imagine Ellie killing Abby, then Lev killing Ellie, and Dina or Tommy killing Lev, etc. etc.)

That’s why I liked it. Ellie did the good thing. The hard thing. And maybe she’s still a bad person, but she made the world a little better for it. Lev and Abby are going to get to stay together. Ellie is (hopefully) going to go to Jackson and find Dina and JJ.

Maybe I’m just an optimist but like!!! Joel wouldn’t trade the years he got with Ellie for anything. It’s sad he died and I’m going to headcanon an AU where he didn’t for Happy Reasons but like??? We got to see him be sweet and joyful and a good dad figure to Ellie and I loved that. We got to address what happened with the Fireflies and Ellie’s survivor’s guilt and it’s EXACTLY what I wanted to be addressed. Ellie got to be happy with Dina and they can raise JJ and in the end I am SO PROUD that Ellie didn’t kill Abby and that she’s going forward, learning to let Joel go even though it hurts.

Also, catch me writing a fun AU where Ellie and Abby are college roommates who don’t get along at first but then slowly start to realize they’re more alike than they think and become friends thank you and goodnight