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#I don't care if it's silly I can't help it
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Behind Closed Doors - Max Verstappen
Dark fic - if you don't like this or the warnings/themes make you uncomfortable. I can't stress this enough, DO NOT READ THIS
Summary: Max has a secret girlfriend, she might not have been happy about it at first but she'll warm up to him. He just has to keep how he got into the relationship secret. Or he'd lose everything, including her.
Theme/warnings: Abduction, stockholm syndrome, smut (dub con kind of, she's initially asleep but never attempts to stop him), manipulation
No part 2 requests please - Also bc of this not being my usual content I haven't put the taglist on just incase someone who usually reads my fics would rather not read darker content
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There's perks to being a millionaire. Perks to the power that comes with being Max Verstappen.
Including facilitating the kidnapping of the young woman lying in his bed right now.
She looks so peaceful. So perfect.
Y/n has been with him for a couple days and she is never happy to wake up to him. But he can see he's slowly breaking her down by actually treating her with love and care.
It's just...he's forcing her to accept that love and care.
He isn't silly. He did everything he needed to in order to make sure she quit her job, by emailing her boss her notice. Thankfully she doesn't see her family much anywhere so sending them small messages here and there was enough for them to not be a bother.
Y/n finally wakes up and immediately looks to check, then practically sighing in defeat when she looks at Max. She seems to wake up every morning wishing it was all just a horrible dream.
"Good morning, beautiful." Max smiles while she just keeps herself quiet for a few beats seeming to consider her words and actions carefully.
"Morning." Y/n mumbles before she finds herself pulled over into a hug and his lips press to her cheek.
Her body tries to fight off the fact she's feeling a lot of comfort from the close proximity but eventually her body can't fight it, relaxing down against him.
"Are you hungry?" Max asks softly making her swallow.
She'd tried a hungry strike, but Max very quickly managed to get her to eat and he wouldn't even say it really took much effort. He just got her what happened to be her favourite meal and that quickly proved to get her to cave into her hunger.
"Not right now." Y/n mumbles earning a nod.
One thing Max wouldn't admit to anyone but himself, y/n is hard to read. She masks her thoughts well and while it annoys Max, he's still on a mission to change her thoughts about this. To make her see how good she has it with him.
He's breaking her down and making progress. It's not going to be long before she's lost her fight and succumb to his advances. Then they can be really genuinely happy.
-
Y/n sits sitting with Max's cats who have taken to loving on her about as quick as Max has. She is sitting at the locked door of the balcony.
It's been a couple weeks now.
Summer break for Max is almost over and she's actually a little fearful to ask what will happen when it comes to him leaving for the races. Some of them he can't just leave her there.
"What are you thinking?" Max asks suddenly but she doesn't turn to face him, just keeping her gaze trained outside on the sunny outdoors.
"Are you leaving me when you go to races?"
"Planning your escape?" Max jokes making her finally turn.
"No." Y/n admits and actually she's really not, but she even seems nervous about admitting that. Teeth chewing on her bottom lip like chewing gum.
Max can't even help the twitch of a smirk on his lips as he moves over and crouches down, finger hooking under her chin as he looks at her, eyes invading her soul with his gaze.
"Do you want me to leave you?"
"No." Y/n swallows almost feeling hypnotised as he speaks.
She can feel her heart absolutely pounding in her chest as she tilts her head up more when he leans in and closes the space between them, his lips pressing to her own.
She doesn't realise it's a test, seeing what her reaction is. Disgust, fear, or compliance?
When she kisses him back, not flinching from it or even fighting it for maybe more than a slight hesitation before she moves her lips to match his own. Max breaks the kiss feeling there's certainly progress made but he's not stupid. He's also not taking a risk that y/n could easily use as a means of escape even with her willing to kiss him and denying the suggestion.
"You'll have to stay here for the next race. If you're good and don't cause any trouble. Maybe I'll think about bringing you to Monza." Max lies. He won't be, that's still too soon and he thinks that leaving her alone might be the finally nail in the coffin to her breaking point of completely accepting her fate.
He'll probably decide after Monza to see how he feels about taking her to Baku. Testing the waters with Singapore might be the best option.
"If you prove I can trust you to not be difficult while I'm gone. Then I'll consider you coming with me."
Y/n wants to argue that she's been good.
"You'll have the cats. They love you." Max smiles making her look down at the cats who are basking in the warmth of the sun through the window. Their silky coats glimmering under the rays shining down on them.
"I thought you loved me." Y/n mumbles then biting her lip.
That has got to be a new low. She sounded pathetically needy but there's something chilling about the thought of being left locked away by Max while he's away.
"I do love you. Why else would you be here if I didn't?" Max smiles hooking another finger under her chin and kissing her again which he is happy to feel her returning the gesture of. "I'll make sure there's plenty of food and you'll be completely fine. It will be a few days and you can watch me on the TV."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, of course." Max nods with a smile then sighing as he finally sits down. "I wouldn't watch you watching something else when you could be watching me."
Y/n nods obediently to his words then somewhat leaning over to him, resting against him as they sit in the sun.
-
Max had left for his home race, and he kept to his word making sure the fridge and cupboards were fully stocked with all the food she could think of wanting.
And she did watch Max in the race with the cats laid with her on the sofa. Despite her efforts to keep herself busy there was a longing whenever she saw Max on screen. She wants him there.
But she shouldn't want him there. Logic, common sense, rationality, it all tells her that she shouldn't want the man there.
Not that any of that changes the truth.
That y/n misses Max.
Being left on her own for days, locked away is going to sure be justification for feeling like this and she knows he's her only chance at not being alone anymore.
It doesn't help that he didn't tell her that when he'd be back. He didn't even tell her when he'd be back after the weekend. Not an idea of what day or time.
He actually returns while she's asleep, having left for the airport as soon as the debrief was done. Having his jet at the ready to leave for Nice within a couple hours of the race finish.
He returns to find her laid out on his bed, the tv on in the background as she sleeps. She's only in a t-shirt and her body is so exposed, having been away from her for days and not having ever actually had even the smallest taste of her. His self-control is wavering.
Taking off the thick of his layers of clothing, he leaves himself in his boxers and creeps up onto the bed, gently pushing up the t-shirt to expose her stomach.
Y/n's not wearing underwear, and positioning himself between her legs. Max can see her in all her glory and she looks needy and neglected. At least that's how Max sees it since he knows she's had no sexual attention from a man for weeks now.
A sudden thought of another man being the last to have fucked her makes his heart rate pick up and that cements what he's about to do.
As soon as he licks his tongue over her hole up to her clit, there's a gasp and her body jumps at the sudden pressure. He does even bother to check if she's woken up before he dives in, eating her out like a starved man.
Y/n wakes with a start at the feeling and a moan escaping her own lips before she pants desperately.
"M-Max?" Y/n chokes out, groggy and unsure of if this is really happening or not.
Not that Max replies with any words.
He wants to give her an orgasm but the overwhelming need to be inside her trumps the need to aim for multiple orgasms. He'll tackle that another time. For now she's slick enough that there shouldn't be so much issue in getting inside her.
"Max." Y/n mumbles as he moves up pushing his boxers down and teasing the tip at her pussy before pushing into her. Sliding smoothly into her while she groans at the feeling.
She's tight, and maybe understandably tense from still not being sure entirely what's happening.
"Fuck." Y/n whines as he pushes till he's fully seated in her heat. "Don't stop."
And Max doesn't need to be told twice for that. He withdraws from her before pushing back in setting a pace that is feeding some primal need that he's really never felt before.
His grip on y/n's waist tightens giving him complete control as he almost mercilessly pounds into her. Her moans and fists clutching at the sheets being enough for him to know she's taking pleasure from rough sex. Noted for future reference.
His pubic bone is knocking her clit just right and she's feel her body build up with tension and heat as she nears her own orgasm. One particularly nudge at her g-spot sends her over the edge and he continues thrusting into her through her twitching and tightening around him, impossibly tight before he finally spills into her. His heavy pants while she presses herself back on the bed.
Y/n swallows thickly before she just holds herself there. Her body sticky and she's looking at Max with hooded eyes as he slowly eases out of her, the cringe on her face giving away that the slight rougher treatment after going untouched for however long.
He'll just have to make sure she doesn't go too long again.
"Are you ok?" Max asks softly pulling his gaze up from seeing his cum leak out of her onto the sheets.
"Yeah....just a bit sore." Y/n nods biting her lip.
To say the least she looks disheveled and a little dazed.
"I would ask if you enjoyed that but I think I have all the proof I need." Max smiles then looking at her for a moment. "How was your time on your own?"
Y/n swallows, she assumed Max may have been watching her. She suspected he may have cameras. Whether they usually act as just securities cameras or not, they were certainly watching her. She just doesn't know where they are.
Of course she's right, Max was always able to check in on her when he had the chance.
"...Can I come with you for the next race?" Y/n mumbles making Max look at her with an expression which certainly feels like he's about to deny her. "Please. Please. I'll be good. I promise. I swear. I'll not even talk, you-you can pretend I'm mute."
Begging and promising to "be good" to the man who kidnapped her just so she can get be with him and not alone might be a new low.
"I'll think about it." Max states letting his gaze flick back down to her pussy. "Come on, let's get cleaned up."
-
Y/n didn't end up going to Monza.
Max decided that it would only benefit him more if she was so openly needy with him after being left for the Dutch GP. By the time he came back from Monza, y/n practically wouldn't leave his side and she was almost holding onto Max the whole time.
So finally he decided she'd be joining him for Singapore.
Her appearance is a surprise to everyone. Literally everyone. No one in Red Bull knew about a girl in his life, no one had a whiff of a rumour of a woman in his life. The team, the fans, the media and the rest of the paddock were all shocked when they saw Max appear with a timid looking y/n by his side.
"Max...who is this?" Daniel questions catching the champion as he stands in conversation with Lando and Oscar. "Where have you had her hidden away?"
Y/n unintentionally tightens her grip on Max's hand but it's not noticeable to the other drivers who seem in awe of seeing her with Max.
"This is y/n, she used to work for one of the sponsors." Max explains earning small intrigued nods. "You can talk y/n." He plays it off as a joke, chuckling which earns smiles from the other drivers.
"Sorry, hi. It's nice to meet you all. It's cool actually. Meeting you and not just watching you on a screen." Y/n states since Max said she doesn't actually have to pretend to be mute.
"Well it's always fun. Make the most of it." Lando smiles looking her up and down, which makes her smile a little awkwardly while Max frowns at him.
"We need to get moving. See you boys on track." Max grumbles looking very much annoyed at the fact he just watched Lando check y/n out.
The rest say their goodbyes before she is pulled along with him to the Red Bull unit. Y/n swallows as she follows him all the way to his driver's room.
Max has been torn about where he wants her to sit while he is out doing media or if he wants her as close as possible so he can keep as close an eye on her.
"What do you think? Can I trust you to come around with me, or should I keep you in here?" Max asks, obviously his question is rhetorical. Her answer won't influence his decision. So she doesn't bother. "If you can behave you can come around with me. We don't do a lot of media so it should be alright."
"Really?" Y/n smiles perking up a little. "I'd rather stay with you than be on my own anyway."
"Good." That's exactly what he wants her to say and he's trusting that she's not just saying it.
He's gotten better at reading her emotion, or maybe she's just gotten worse at hiding it as she's been broken down in her isolation and desperation for Max to let her out from his apartment.
She also just sort of, doesn't feel that urgent need to not be near him anymore. Pushing him away is a foreign though and concept by this point. In fact, things have shifted with Max's presence and how it effects her. She feels safe, his kisses make her feel intoxicated with a need for more of him.
Y/n moves closer, smiling as she looks up at Max. She has gained some confidence with him.
"So what do you do on Thursdays if you're not in the car?" Y/n asks making Max smile as his hands hold her waist.
"Media stuff, we do some stuff for fans on stage. Just talk, answer some questions. Nothing too exciting." Max states earning a nod. "So long as you keep behaving and don't say anything you shouldn't. This is going to go well for you."
He sounds sweet with his voice but the intention behind his voice speaks for itself. Things might be going well, but he's not going to fail to remind her that she is still on thin ice with trust. One wrong move, saying one thing wrong that might raise alarm with someone else is not a wise move. Even if it's accidental.
She's sure she'll be handcuffed to the bed and left there while he is busy as a means of making sure she can't possibly do anything else wrong out of his control.
Y/n just smiles lightly trying to hide her nerves, but Max sees the emotions behind her eyes and he'd be lying if he said he felt no satisfaction in still having the power. He never wants to lose the ability to make her fear him, purely as a means of making sure she never feels like she can leave him.
"Did I tell you how much I like this dress?" Max asks brushing a hand up her inner thigh after raising the hem.
She's only in a silky white slip dress which just about hits her mid-thigh in length and the back is exposed with just a tied string to give it some structure.
"I want you to stay away from the other drivers when I'm not with you." Max states as she feels his fingers pushing the thin and flimsy material of her thong out the way as he teases her as she looks up at him for a moment before dropping her head with a gasp as his finger plunges into her. "Do you understand?"
"Yes." Y/n whimpers before almost pouting when he pulls his fingers back from inside her.
He doesn't even say anything as he moves her to bend of the table in his room. Pressing her upper body down against the cool surface as she feels her dress flip up and he's thrust into her with no need for warning because just the teasing of his fingers and his touch was enough for her to feel more than ready for him.
"You need to stay quiet. Wouldn't want someone hearing you." Max states making her whimper and actually move her hand over her mouth.
This angle is letting him poke at her g-spot with scary precision and she's not even certain he's meaning to. Usually he'll somewhat rely on her clit, but honestly this time with this angle and maybe the thrill of being at his place of work. There's something just pushing her quickly to an orgasm.
Neither of them last long, her tummy tensing before her whole body tries to fight through the orgasm which almost feels like she's trying to push him out rather than suck him in. Not that he lets up, in fact he gets more brutal absolutely pounding into her, picking up her upper body while extending her spasming orgasm around him.
Her hand has fallen from her mouth which has dropped open a little and the beginnings of a loud moan makes his hand clap up and over her mouth, blocking the noise as he slams into her a couple more times then spills his cum into her, so much so that it leaks out around his dick held deep inside her.
He doesn't move them for a moment before he rubs her waist for a moment then returning her to lie her upper body down. Her lips let a small whimper pass at the feel of this angle pushing against her g-spot yet again. But he slowly pulls out taking a moment to appreciate the view before he scoops some of his cum leaking from her onto his fingers.
"Open your mouth, baby." Max instructs, knowing she'll do what she's told he reaches his hand around to her face and pokes his fingers between her lips. The obedience he's perfectly instilled into her meaning she sucks the warm cum from his fingers before he feels it cleans from his skin and pulls his hand back. "Don't move. I need to clean you up."
And she doesn't she lies there just waiting.
Max can definitely get used to this and he's certain there's been enough damage to her that he has got her exactly the way he wants her. She's been moulded into the exact girlfriend he wanted her to be from the moment he saw her and knew he'd make her his.
Was it the most morally righteous method of getting a girlfriend? No.
But did he get exactly what he wanted and will he change anything? Yes he did, and no he won't.
Y/n will be his and only his and she's never ever getting away from him. If she plays up, she'll be back in Monaco locked in that apartment for as long as he deems necessary.
But he has a feeling she's learned that her place is by his side or waiting for him so she can be by his side again.
Max cleans her up and smiles as she seems to try and readjust everything making sure her hair is tidy and her dress doesn't look creased or sitting wrong.
"You look beautiful."
"Thank you."
"Try to keep to yourself. I don't want you talking to drivers, but really I'd rather you didn't talk to anyone much. Avoid talking too much." Max states watching her smile waver as he sighs gently moving his hand down from cupping her face to holding her around her throat with some light pressure. "Just because I trust you to come with me and not cause trouble. Doesn't mean that you're free to do whatever you want. You get my permission to do anything. I don't want to see you talking to people."
"Ok." Y/n nods though only slightly thanks to his hand at her neck.
"I do this because I love you, y/n."
"I love you too, Max." Y/n smiles, because despite being scared of the man. Hearing those three words brings an annoying effective warmth throughout her body.
He uses the hold on her neck to pull her forward slightly kissing her heavily, his possessiveness communicated perfectly. And his warning will stay with her.
Max is the one in control. He's got the power between them and he'll use it if she doesn't live by his rules.
He literally kidnapped her and he's got away with it and now, she says she loves him without an ounce of doubt in her body even when he makes clear threats to her.
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jayke0 · 3 days
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A Pleasant Surprise
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Summary: Steven has had something on his mind for a while now, and finally he divulges his fantasy to you; degrading was certainly not on your playing cards.
Rating: nsfw, smut
Warnings/Content: sub!Steven, dom!reader, fem!reader, “mommy” title, degrading, grinding, cumming in pants, lmk if there's anything else I should add :).
Word count: 1,441
Credit: @automnepoet for proofreading ily.
………......................…………………………………….
When Steven had come to you with a “fun idea”, you'd expected something along the lines of ”naive uni teacher gets fucked by his student”, but this was so much better.
“Love? I have a, uh…suggestion,” Steven calls from the bathroom between brushing his teeth. “Well, it's more of a proposal, really.”
“Yeah? Go on.” You're sitting in your bedroom reading some gruesome crime novel that Marc seems to have a real distaste for.
You hear the water running briefly before your boyfriend joins you in the room, warm morning sun streaming in through the cracked curtains and casting a soft glow over his face. “I mean, we don't have to do it now of course. I know you're reading and all that, and I have to get to work in a bit–.”
You close your book and pat the edge of the bed, making him instantly respond to your gesture by placing himself down. “I'm all ears, sweetheart, lay it on me.”
Blood rushes to Steven's face as he actually thinks about saying it outloud, feet shuffling a little on the creaky floorboards. The words feel stuck in his throat now that he has to speak them, despite the fact he'd thought about the whole image on numerous occasions... and in great detail.
“Heeyy c’mon,” your hand brushes his arm, and you move closer to him to wrap your arms fully around his, crinkling his blue floral shirt. “You know I can't read your mind, Steven… Though I wish I could, that'd be super fucking helpful, then the other two couldn't lie to me.”
His chuckle makes you smile and you feel him draw in a long breath.
”I wanna like… grind against you… and I want you to mock me for it, u-until I cum… in my trousers…”
The pauses between his words are almost comical, but you look up at his face and see that he's completely serious, looking at you with wide eyes and waiting for an answer.
“Oh! Right.”
“Ah, Gods! No no... no no no no no, forget it–.” He frantically shakes his head, his hands doing the same as his face scrunches. “It's weird, I'm sorry, pretend I never said anything. Me and my big bloody mouth.”
“Steven,” you say between giggles, hand resting on his soft face to pull his gaze towards you. “It's not weird, silly! I just didn't expect you to be the one that's into degrading.” Careful not to fall back off of the bed, you climb onto his lap, thighs either side of his as you examine his expression, how gorgeous he looks with his brows knitted together and his unruly curls that Marc would definitely be gluing down with copious amounts of gel right about now.
His chest deflates as he lets out a soft sigh, resting his head on your chest out of embarrassment while you link your arms around his neck to run your fingers through the long curls at the back of his head. You feel his hands graze up your back, gliding under your night shirt and making you shiver with the warmth.
“Are you sniffing me?”
“No! Well…” he pauses, “yeah, but not in a creepy way.” The man lifts his head and looks up at you with those big doe eyes, and you watch them close as you start rolling your hips down on him slowly. You're only in your underwear underneath that shirt, but Steven is fully clothed and ready for work… or at least he would be, if his eyes weren't fluttering shut and arousal wasn't growing in his tummy.
“I promise you, darling, I like your idea.” You reassure him with your hips drawing slow circles against the material of his trousers, creating a delicious friction. “As long as you tell me if it's too much, alright?”
The bed creaks a little with your grinding before he looks up at you, nodding with a kind of desperation in his eyes that lights a fire in your gut.
“You promise?”
“Yeah love, yeah I promise.” He says, his voice a little more whiny.
You don't bother yourself with working out the psychological reasons for why your boyfriend enjoys being degraded about how long he can last, chalking it up to his masculinity, despite your reassurances that he's just as much of a man as his other two alters.
“You've got 10 minutes, think you can do that?”
Steven groans at your question, since both of you know all too well that 10 minutes is more than enough time. Still, he nods, big puppy dog eyes looking up at you and begging you to divulge in his vision.
A smirk creeps across your face when you see those glassy eyes, your gaze trailing down to the blush dusting his cheeks and the straining muscles in his neck.
“God Steven, I love the way you look at me. Look at those big soft eyes, all for mommy, aren't they?”
He lets out a whimper with the use of that title, his cock stirring in his trousers and reminding you of the thin barrier that's stopping you from grinding on the rough material of his slacks all together. The man doesn't take his gaze off of you; he drinks in every one of your features as if he's seeing you for the first time.
Rocking his hips up, he pants.
“Yes mommy, all for you, I'm all for you.”
“That's right, sweetheart, those desperate eyes are for me. that dumb little face is mine.” You lean forward and nip his bottom lip, soothing it afterwards with your tongue as he gasps and bucks his hips.
“I can feel you twitching, baby. You just can't help it, can you? Always getting so worked up and hard when I'm around, maybe I should put this pretty cock in a cage, what do you think?”
Steven's shoulders drop as he leans forward into your neck, biting and sucking any skin he can get his mouth on while his hot breath and whimpers raise goosebumps over your skin.
The suction he had in your neck is broken as his head is suddenly jerked backwards, your grip tight in his hair and making him whimper pathetically.
“I asked you a question, sweetheart.”
His adam's apple bobs in his throat as he tries to suppress his moans, his head nodding wildly. “Yes mommy, I'd– agh–I'd love that.” His hips buck again.
“Mhm.. then you'd at least last longer than 5 minutes, you'd actually be able to fuck me properly.”
Steven's mouth hangs agape, his eyes now squeezed shut as his grip on your hips tighten and he guides your hips down on him harder, wanting more, anything.
“Sh–it… Ah- Feels so good.” His eyebrows knit together in a beautifully strained way. “More, gimme more–.”
You tut with a small smirk on your lips, rocking back and forth to coat his trousers in your own arousal that's seeped through your underwear.
“Oh, look at you, you gonna cum in your pants, baby? Gonna prove how pathetic you are to mommy?” You feel the muscles in his shoulders and back tighten. “C'mon sweetheart, cum for me, ruin those pants.”
Sweet moans and whimpers tumble from the man's rosy lips as he finally lets go, staining his boxers enough that you feel the wetness as it soaks a spot on his trouser leg.
His grip on your hips loosens, but he doesn't stop whimpering, soft babbles and huffs escaping his throat as he calms down. You stroke his head, combing your fingers through his hair as your hips slow. “Good boy, you're such a good boy, Steven.” You smile brightly at him, despite the fact his eyes are still shut.
They only flutter open when he feels your hand stroking his cheek and tilting his head down.
“Are you ok, baby? How do you feel?”
His cheeks are flushed bright red still, beads of sweat sitting on his forehead from the warmth of his button-up shirt. A smile cracks across his face as he nods shyly, “I'm ok– great, yeah.. I'm great, actually.”
“You sure? I didn't hurt your feelings, did I?”
He shakes his head and tilts face to kiss your palm. “No, you didn't, love. I promise.”
His eyes drift down to the wet patch on his trousers, your eyes following as you chuckle softly.
“Should probably change…” He mumbles while resting his head on your shoulder.
“Yeah, that's probably a good idea.” You place a kiss on his neck as you embrace him, ignoring the fact that he will most definitely be late to work… again.
...........................................................................
Tags 🖤: @boredzillenial @cowboymarcs @chichimisaki @faretheeoscar @fanofstuffidk @minigirl87 @marisferasiop @red-hydra @summonthesoups @steven-grants-world @queerponcho @ominoose @mynamesstevenwithav @rinverse @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @mooksmouse @cupidysm
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pov: matty taking care of you after a night of too much drinking
mostly fluffy thoughts but with some slight smutty mentions.
this was something i tried to write months before i started this blog just to see if i could do it. that's when i quickly found out writing full fics is not my thing, lol. nothing special, just a stream of consciousness ramble really.
warning: smutty thoughts if you squint, alcohol. grammatical errors, typos.
other bf matty blurbs & rambles here.
“c'mon, it's time to go home, love.” there’s this ungodly pounding inside your head, a confirmation that, yes, one too many pints were consumed this… evening? night? hard to tell, really. you have no idea what time it is or where you’re right now—all that registers is the warm feeling of his arm on your waist, leading you toward the exit of whatever this place might be.
the cold air bites your skin as soon as the door opens. wearing a short dress feels like a silly choice now, but he said you looked beautiful so that makes it all right of course. you lean into him as he drapes his coat around your shoulders, the same leather garment he's let you wear countless times before because he knows you love it so.
“okay, your flat's just a few blocks away. let's walk, get some fresh air. it will do you good.” his lips brush the top of your head before you both start to slowly stumble alongside the dimly lit streets of london. “i like it when you kiss me, matty.” he leans down to plant a soft peck on your cheek and for a fleeting moment it makes you wonder if maybe he feels the same way. just maybe.
walking never felt so difficult. perhaps it was when you were a child, but obviously you have no recollection. his arm around your shoulders continues to guide you as you just focus on placing one foot in front of the other until you reach your destination. it was a fast trek but you don't mind. in fact, you are thankful for it.
“don't think i’ve ever had this much trouble openin’ a fuckin’ door.” none of the keys seem to work, ugh. he chuckles behind you (rude) and grabs them from your shaky hands, unlocking and swinging the door open with ease (show off). you try to walk on your own, but it doesn't quite go as planned as you stumble on the mat right behind the entrance.
"shit, are you alri—“ you cannot help but quietly laugh at yourself and the embarrassing situation you're in, and it catches you by surprise when he picks you up, one arm under your knees and the other one around your waist. he gently places you on the green couch so you're finally sitting down, your drunk mind spinning as you gaze at the boy kneeled down in front of you, working on getting the patent heels off your feet.
“m’sorry you have to see me like this.” for a split second you wonder how it happened, how did you get to this state, but quickly realize that’s too much thinking for your clouded mind to process. you’ll figure it out later. it’s not often you get flat out drunk, especially outside the confine of the four off-white walls you call home. you prefer to drink in your flat as you don't like the thought of making a fool out of yourself in front of others. much like right now. oh well. it probably won't be the last time.
with your shoes off now (thank you, matthew), you slowly stand up and somehow manage walk over to your bedroom successfully without tripping over your feet. you sit down on the floor, facing your full length mirror as you take your earrings off and try to undress. “matty?” you attempt to reach the zipper on the back of your black dress, but your limbs just can't seem to bend far enough “please help me take this bloody thing off!” you give up after a few seconds and get distracted by the red marks on your knees from where you fell just a few minutes ago.
“hold on, darling."
you lazily stare back at yourself in the mirror as matty walks through the room to set a glass of water on the bedside table. he takes a few steps and kneels behind you, fumbling his fingers to undo the pesky zipper. it's maybe the alcohol in your system or some wishful thinking, but you seem to notice a blush on his cheeks when he realizes you aren't wearing a bra as the straps of your dress fall to the sides. for a moment you catch his eyes gazing at your reflection, making you smile as a warmth, familiar sensation in your navel continues to grow.
a smile of his own tugs at the corner of his lips when he holds your elbows to raise you up on your feet, your silk dress sliding and pooling at your ankles in the process. he turns you around so your eyes finally meet, big brown loving eyes looking straight at you.
your head finds his chest, you can hear his gentle heartbeat, a soft repeating thud that you never grow tired of. "i think i could jus' fall 'sleep right here..."
“unfortunately, i don’t think that’s really going to work here, love. c'mon, get your arms up so i can put this shirt on.” you obey by raising your flimsy limbs up to the best of your ability while matty attempts to get the fabric on you. it takes a few tries, but he manages.
you now find yourself dressed in nothing but your shirt and underwear. you watch as he pulls the covers off the bed, getting your spot ready. once it’s set, he grabs your hand and slowly brings you over.
“please stay.” it wasn’t much of a question as much as it was a plea for him to keep you company.
he doesn’t argue with you, he knows better than that. he nods. “i'll just be on the sofa in the other room but let me know if you need anythi—" you shake your head. "this bed is big enough for you, too." you lazily pat the extra pillow besides your head. you get scared as he doesn't say much, but you breathe again once he starts to walk over in your direction, lifting the covers and making himself at home next to you. he doesn't bother getting undressed, but maybe that's best for your (and his own) sake.
you rest your head on his chest, letting your body melt into his as your lids grow heavy from the mix of alcohol and exhaustion. “thank you for keeping me safe, matty.” you feel as he brings you slightly closer, one hand running through your hair while the other grabs on to your shoulder, his lips softly planting a kiss on your forehead. “always, darling.”
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gingerjunhan · 1 day
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haii how r u doing 💟 can i request xdh with a doe-eyed s/o ? kinda craving some whipped bf content 🙏 tyy
☆彡 hi anon!! Hope you're doing well. Sorry it took me 5ever to get around to your request :( I hope you enjoy!!!
word count: 844 | pronouns used: they/them | genre: fluff, established relationship | cws: pet names (pretty, beautiful, baby), dying (mentioned jokingly), lmk if I missed something!!
goo gunil
Gunil falls victim to the doe eyes the most
maybe it's the fact that he's the oldest, and therefore he feels the need to take care of the people around him?
or maybe it's because you have that man wrapped round your finger
you could be asking this man for one of his kidneys and he would probably still say yes
there's just something about your eyes and the way they shine up at him that make him bend to your whim at literally all times
and if you're someone who wears makeup... it's over
pair some sparkly eyeshadow with your pretty eyes and he melts into the floor
it truly is the sparkle that gets him
he never gets used to it despite it being the oldest trick in your book
but hey, he loves making you happy, so he really doesn't mind :)
kim jungsu
Jungsu strikes me as a big "personality > looks" guy (which he is so real for)
but there's something about your eyes...
he can't help but feel drawn in every time he looks at you
they're one of the first things he noticed about you in all honesty
it sounds cheesy, but he could get lost in your eyes if he was given the chance
they way they're always so big and bright... they're like gemstones to him
he's another one that isn't prone to The Look™️
if you really want something, you're getting it
he can't say no to his precious partner :(
smiling brings out the sparkle in your eye, so he's gotta keep you happy so he can keep admiring you
kwak jiseok
he finds you mesmerizing
often stares at you in a silly way just to get you to do it back
your eyes are just so big and beautiful!
he comments on them aaalllllll the time
he hates- absolutely despises- seeing you sad
the second your big, beautiful eyes start to droop, he’s scrambling to make you feel better
the way your eyes crinkle up when you laugh :(
needless to say he cannot resist the begging
when you look up (or down, let’s be so fr) at him, and your eyes sparkle with happiness and he knows he’s the one who caused it UGHHH
it melts him into a puddle every. single. time.
they way your eyes somehow light up and get even wider when you talk about the things you love???
he swears it’s the eighth wonder of the world
oh seungmin
he is whipped
like,, he probably beats out Gunil because this man is down bad
if he sends you a selfie during the day, and you respond with one of your own, he will be mesmerized
cameras don't do you justice because they can't convey the beauty as well
he has definitely gotten distracted in the middle of doing something just because you came in the room and looked at him
stopping mid-sentence and trailing off because you gave him a pouty look and he couldn't take it
he is at your whim
just look his way and he will tend to your every need, hand and foot
he loves the ego boost of when your eyes sparkle while you're talking to him or checking him out from a distance
hit him with a soft "please, baby? 🥺" mixed with your beautiful eyes and he is done for
han hyeongjun
he strikes me as another huge "personality > looks" guy (they all give me that vibe tbh lets be so fr) so when he sees your pretty eyes he feels like he's falling in love all over again
if you laugh and your eyes light up? he dies
you talk about one of your passions and your eyes get even wider? it truly kills him
please please please bat your lashes at him when you need him to do something for you omg he literally cannot resist
he is blushing and smiling and UUUGGGHHH
he gets so shy :(
he will go out if his way to mention something you like in a conversation that has nothing to do with that topic just to see your eyes light up
The Look™️ definitely works on him 99% of the time too
no "please" required, just give him the puppy-eyes and it's over
he just loves his pretty partner and their pretty eyes :((
lee jooyeon
this goes one of two ways
the least common way: you give him your signature puppy-eyes look because you need him to do you a favor, and he mimics your face and says no
the most common way: he folds immedietly
he knows you use your eyes for evil... but he can't help it
when they're the prettiest color he's ever seen... how can he say no to you???
he loves loves loves how your eyes look when you wear eyeshadow
the colors you use always make your eyes pop- accentuating how beautiful they are :(
KISSES YOUR EYELIDS ☹️
he is so sweet and gentile with you because he loves you so so so so much and he will do ANYTHING to see those pretty eyes of yours sparkle!!!!!!!!!!
taglist: @dazzlingligth , @mini-mews , @mxlly143 , @somethingaboutcheese , @odesonnets , @weluvjeong , comment to be added!⁎⁺˳✧༚
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kenobion · 1 year
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Andrew Garfield on The Late Late Show (2016)
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sn0wbat · 2 months
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sparkle on, tiberius ✨
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meownotgood · 6 months
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Can I ask what your ✨Aki journey✨ was like? I’m a Aki girlie but you clearly love Aki more than any blog I’ve ever seen (purrr) When did you start becoming interested in him? Was it an aHA moment or did it develop over time? I’m really curious!!! What inspired you to start this blog? I live, laugh, love backstories 🫶🏾❤️‍🔥
YES I would be so happy to answer this!!!!!!!
so before I read chainsaw man, I knew next to nothing about it, I wasn't really a manga reader in general to be honest but I started getting into it because I wanted to get caught up with jujutsu kaisen after finishing the anime. when I did, I really enjoyed jjk, I wanted to read more manga and a friend suggested I read chainsaw man because it's similar. I was like okay... a lot of people are into it... it looks cool... why not.
and when I started reading and I got to that third chapter and I saw aki... I literally said to myself: yeah, he is going to be my favorite. because he's exactly my type — the suit, the hair tied up so it's long and pretty when he takes it down, the SMOKING??? THE PIERCINGS????? I thought his hair was silly but adorable, his personality was stern but quirky and likable, his kon power was so cool. he was just so cute and hot and definitely my type of character.
but really, even though aki was always my favorite character from the start, my obsession truly began when I finished the manga. aki's arc is just so good... I fell in love with him the whole way through but especially after the manga was over... I loved watching him grow as a character, he just feels so real and relatable personality wise and story wise. he's immensely flawed but kindhearted to his core. he's so human. I love how he's emotional and soft and the conclusion to his arc is genuinely my favorite thing in any piece of media ever, it's so bittersweet and compelling. (and I'm a mess for that bittersweet shit okay)
anyway after I read chainsaw man for the first time I was feeling a mix of emotions between "wow that was the greatest thing ever" and "what the fuck did I just read" but more than anything I yearned for more aki, and so I read it a second time almost immediately after, and then the aki brain infection just grew worse and worse.... was screenshotting every panel of him... I read it a third time... a fourth time in the colored version to collect more panels......... I started my blog over a year ago to post fanfic and rant about aki and the rest is history
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b-blushes · 5 months
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you know when you're in da overwhelm zone due to Circumstances that you don't really have power over. well it's really hard to deescalate from that i am finding!
HOWEVER i am attempting:
FACING THE THINGS because the longer they loom. the longer they are looming for.
regular breaks from Addressing Everything
regular snacks/meals/drinks
prioritising
postponing stuff that can be left until later (But watch out!)
doing other things in advance that are easy to do now (such as stockpiling meals ready for feeling more ill)
asking for help where i can
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leichensohn · 6 months
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after all, new place same rot.
#don't want to share too much after already scaring more then enough people last time but simply being put on meds and placed in a ward hasnt#improved much other then not being in complete agony all the time always. in fact i feel like now things are so much more concrete and made#with full certainty and put enough care and clarity to know if there's no miracle happening i'm not making it to another year for sure. idk#what i was even expecting admitting myself i heard everything often enough and i can't seem to explain myself well enough in a way they#understand so it's just like talking to a wall. they can't help with somehow finding a purpose for the future worth dragging on longterm al#they can do is give silly pills and general advise for the here and now and that's it. there's literally nothing they can help me with rn#not going into any details at all and keeping myself vague bc i'm still embarrassed i even talked about last plans on here so much and so#open i wasn't mentally in the right space whatsoever. but now i do have the clarity. it's good i didn't went through with the plan after al#bc i wasn't able to make such decisions and it would have ended in a complete mess. but all i can say now is that this time it is final and#quick. will obviously not further elaborate at all and this is all i'm going to say about this until the day comes to say goodbye but reall#there isn't a reason to continue after all. it definitely helped to get out of the crisis first but the here and now isn't the reason to#go after all.#endzeit-leiche
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I kinda miss how much statistical information ff.net gave users about their fanfictions. Like sure. It also encouraged users to go slightly insane over numbers and updating just to see number go up. But AO3 gives me no indication or clue on how many people have read my stories. Like, for all I know, based on the numbers, even those with the biggest numbers could technically only have been read by the number of people who left kudos – and guests could theoretically be left by the same person. And it's completely impossible to tell for ongoing multichapter stories whether people just left after the first chapter unless they leave a comment.
I just miss parts of ff.net.
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steakout-05 · 9 days
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eeuuaghh i would like everyone to know that i apologise if i have not responded to your reblogs/mentions/posts on tumblr, i have really terrible social anxiety and for some reason people talking to me makes my nervous system think i'm being hunted for sport by a resident evil boss. sorry if i havent responded i'm not being rude i'm just having a panic attack :P
additionally: social anxiety is actually the reason why a lot of my old posts from late 2022 had weird spacing and spelling mistakes. i was too anxious to type properly
#sorry this seems like a random thing to post but it has been bugging me for a little bit now and i want to post it#and by a little bit i mean the entire time i've been on this website#as for the reason i have social anxiety: i went to a really terrible high school full of dangerous people-#-who were literally like. the worst most bigoted people ever. not everyone there was bad of course but 90% of them were-#-and that stunted by social development by 5-6 years and now every time someone talks to me i feel like i'm about to get murdered#also primary school was. bad. the other kids could sniff out the autism in me and didn't like me for it#this post isn't directed towards anyone specifically but also it kinda is because there's a DM from someone-#-that i haven't responded to in literally 8 months and every time i think about it i get anxious#i'm sorry!!! i'm not trying to ignore you on purpose and i want to say something but my brain literally will not let me out of fear :(#i'm not used to getting talked to directly so every time i do my entire nervous system starts screaming and running in circles#it's kinda ridiculous because it's like. come on. why are you having a panic attack over a message on tumblr it's LITERALLY just words on-#-a screen what are you freaking out about. but also it's like hhhhh unfamiliar social situation scary. help.#unrelated to that but i am very worried about what people will think of me and like i know i really shouldn't worry about that-#-because i can't control what other people think of me and it really shouldn't be any of my or their business. but also-#-i have legitimate trauma that backs my fears up and every time someone is even slightly critical towards me my brain just goes-#-''see? it happened again i TOLD you it would happen again. idiot. you shouldn't have said anything''#and then i hide and cry and lay in bed thinking about how i'm going to die until i suddenly snap out of it and think-#-''wait hang on why should i care. i love being a weirdo on the internet why should i let my anxieties stop me''#and then it happens AGAIN and it's just a viscous cycle at that point#be silly on the internet -> detect slight criticism -> think everyone hates you again -> go back on your bullshit after 3 days of crying#and it makes sense because that exact same pattern happened to me countless times as a child.#be silly in school -> get made fun of for it -> get hated for it -> rinse and repeat until you think everyone is dangerous and they hate yo#if i could put it in a metaphor it would be like me being a little rabbit who thinks everyone is a scary wolf because of their big shadows-#-even though they're all also rabbits and i'm just paying attention to the scariest parts of them because i only know what wolves look like#trauma does fucked up things to your psyche lemmie tell you#social anxiety#anxiety disorder#i'm literally the ''too scared to order food'' stereotype except it's not a stereotype because it's real and every time i look at the 7/11-#-at my campus i go ''hm but what if they hate me for the food i buy there'' even though they're LITERALLY SELLING IT what is WRONG with me#anyway um. social anxiety sucks and i don't mean to not reply ro everyone who talks to me i am sorr y
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arcaneyouth · 7 days
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i think the one downside to people thinking my comic is super awesome and compelling is that i don't actually get to ramble about spoilers very often because people really want to see it play out naturally aisdUHASLDIUHASLIDH which is fair and flattering. i'm going to implode with all the words in my chest i'm not allowed to say tho
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cherrygarden · 1 month
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grief is weird because it's such an unproductive profound sadness. i'm used to my sadness having an aim or a logic behind it (outside of strong depressive periods, though sometimes even then when i try hard enough), fucked up as it may be. i'm used to digging deeper and finding an undercurrent of negative feelings and ideation; a sadness that feels like a conversation. this sadness is just fully empty and pointless, no matter how hard i try to engage with it. it's just... there, unavoidable and unskippable
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brainfullofbees · 10 months
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osaemu · 4 months
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GOJO SATORU: ❛❛ I WANNA SHOW YOU OFF ❜❜
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.ೃ࿐ streamer!au: some other streamer's been buying you gifts, but satoru knows he can spoil you better.
contents: fem!reader. kinda sorta clingy!gojo. more toji slander hehe. inumaki and megumi gang up on gojo. like always. oh also you guys kiss on camera! tagging @sutorus and @yunymphs ꨄ︎
author's note: ughhh he's such a pretty pathetic loser i wanna shake him silly :(
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"oh, satoru, someone sent me another gift!" you say with a smile, beckoning him over to look. satoru hops off his chair and looks over at your computer screen, resting his chin on the top of your head. "look, it's the skin i said i wanted! i wonder who sent it to me, huh..."
satoru shrugs and dips his head to kiss the side of your face. "coulda just asked me for it, y'know," he mutters, eyeing the username that had apparently sent you the gift.
you ignore him and gesture at the time on the top-right corner of your screen. "isn't your stream starting in a couple minutes?" you ask, tilting your head. satoru nods and pulls away, shaking his white hair out of his eyes before walking back over to his monitor. and just a minute or two later, he's live and chatting with his early viewers.
"hey, suguru," he says with a grin, waving at the screen when his close friend joins. "you wanna join my team for today? the match's gonna start in a couple minutes."
suguru-geto: yea sure one sec
satoru spins around in his chair a couple times, and he blows a kiss at you every time his chair faces your direction. and every time, you humor him and catch his kisses. eventually, he stops spinning around in circles and starts actually interacting with his viewers.
inumaki: i hate gojo's streams
inumaki: you just stare at your gf for half of them
inumaki has been kicked from the stream by satoru-gojo.
"anyways. suguru, you ready yet?" satoru says with a grin. suguru replies with a thumbs-down in the chat, and satoru groans impatiently. "what are you even doing that's takin' you so long?"
suguru-geto: taking care of something
"whatever," satoru grumbles, slouching down in his chair and spinning around one more time. "hey, chat, y'wanna know a funny story? i could use your help on it too."
the comments explode with various forms of affirmation, and satoru turns his head and winks at you. "so, lately, some random account's been sending my girlfriend everythin' she could ever want. skins, coins, you name it. what does that mean?"
he ruffles his hair with one hand and drums his fingertips on his desk with the other, surveying the replies from underneath his long, white eyelashes.
sho-ko: some guy wants her sooo bad
yuuji-itadori: maybe the person's just being nice! :)
satoru makes a face at shoko's comments and scowls, sitting up and leaning closer to the screen. "i dunno if the guy who's sending my girlfriend gifts is here right now, but if you are, you better not think that you have a chance with her. 'cause you don't!"
you can't stifle the smile that spreads across your face at satoru's indignant words, and when he turns to you, you just can't help but laugh. he's so sweet, even and especially when he does his best to gatekeep you. but ever since he brought you onto his stream for the first time, you've been an instant fan-favorite, so he can only hide you for so long.
satoru scrunches up his face at you childishly, and you draw a heart in the air right back at him. it makes him smile ruefully, and his eyes light up when you blow a kiss at him. he turns back to his screen determinedly and raises an eyebrow at the latest comment.
sho-ko: do u have the guy's username? cus you can find out who it is that way
"oh, it's... hard to say. rio-zuku?" satoru tries, squinting his eyes. "i don't know, whatever. you guys know him?"
megumi-fushiguro: dyou mean ryosuku? i hate him
yuuji-itadori: oh i don't like him either :( hes mean
satoru scoffs and puts his feet up on his desk, rolling his cerulean eyes. "he can't be more famous than me, so whatever."
megumi-fushiguro: he gets 100k views per stream
"well, he can't be a better gamer than me," satoru replies dismissively, waving his hand.
kugi-saki: didn't he win the val championship last year?
"but i bet i'm hotter!"
toji-fushiguro: you wish
"fuck you, toji," satoru huffs indignantly. "well, how haven't i heard of this guy? if he's so famous and so hot, huh?" ignoring your snickers, satoru switches to another tab and types in the username. but when he clicks on the first link, nothing shows up. it's a blank profile, and satoru's jaw dropped.
"how the fuck am i blocked?!" he whines, flopping his head back on the headrest of his seat and pretending to faint. the chat floods with a thousand expressions of laughter, and you hop off your seat to go sit on the desk of satoru's desk, taking care to stay out of sight of his camera.
satoru opens one eye and squints it at you, lips forming a childish pout. he reaches out and twines his fingers with yours, completely ignoring his exploding comment section. you squeeze his hand gently and reach over his keyboard, hitting a key to mute his microphone.
"i can block him if you want," you offer, wrapping your other hand around satoru's. "and, for what it's worth, i think you're prettier than him."
satoru grins smugly at that, eyes softening more and more the longer they focus on you. "m'kay, thanks... wait, how do you know what he looks like?" he asks suspiciously, narrowing his eyes playfully.
"'cause i looked him up this morning."
your boyfriend sighs dramatically and pretends to faint again. when he reopens his eyes, there's a slightly new look in his eyes as he mumbles, "i wish people would stop hitting on you."
you reach out and touch his chin, forgetting that people on his stream could probably see your hand even if you two were on mute. "oh, i get that a lot," you tease, pinching his cheek affectionately. "but, honestly, you're the only one i wanna be with. even if that other guy buys me everything i could ever want, he's still not you."
satoru kisses the inside of your hand, eyes still fixed on you. "you do know that i'd buy you all of that and more if you asked, right?"
"i know. and i'd love you even if you were as broke as toji."
your side comment makes satoru throw his head back in laughter, and he shakes his head as a wide smile grows across his face. he pushes his chair closer to the desk and tilts his head up, minty taste fresh on his mouth as he smiles against your lips.
a bashful giggle slips past your lips as satoru kisses you again and again. from the corner of your eye, you can see that the two of you are just barely off-camera—in fact, anyone who's watching the stream can tell that the two of you are kissing, but you're still just out of sight.
"d'you want the new battle pass?" satoru mumbles against your lips, caressing the side of your face. you nod and grin, kissing the corner of his mouth.
"only you would talk about a battle pass while you're kissi—" satoru cuts you off with another kiss, stopping you from finishing your sentence.
"uh uh, shut up and let me kiss you. you're the prettiest girl i've ever seen n' i wanna enjoy you," satoru says plainly, gripping your chin in between his thumb and index finger. he tugs your lips on his again, and when he finally pulls away, he turns back to his screen and sticks out his tongue.
satoru unmutes himself and smiles smugly at the camera, face flushed pink from the way you had kissed him back. "well, at least that asshole doesn't have my pretty girlfriend, and he never fuckin' will."
yuuji-itadori: aw you two are so cute :)
megumi-fushiguro: i miss the single gojo
inumaki: im back whatd i miss???
inumaki: oh nvm im leaving again
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Six Word Sentences
"Do what you have to do."
"Not what I came here for."
"What do you want from me?"
"Don't talk to me ever again."
"I will see you later, ok?"
"What a silly question to ask."
"I can't stop thinking of you."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Feel free to never come back."
"You are always on my mind."
"That was such a dumb idea."
"Do you have a better plan?"
"I don't feel like doing that."
"What more is there to lose?"
"Don't you see that I'm hurting?"
"I love you, but not enough."
"A little help would be great."
"You can't handle a little pressure."
"I know what I am doing."
"My life is empty without you."
"How am I supposed to know?"
"I don't want to hear it."
"This was a spectacularly bad plan."
"It's good to know you're safe."
"Don't come near me ever again!"
"What a silly thing to say."
"I couldn't care less about you."
"This is not what I expected."
"Where are my manners, my dear."
"I can't risk losing you again."
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