#I don't care what you say this fanfic is good and deserves some love

[jumpin-jack-va]

F it I'm reading @wkpowerofnature 's fanfiction again because it's really good expect some fan art

[yanderestarangel]

HEADKANONS BI HAN | SUB ZERO MK1 WITH S/O

A/N: I'm going to write headcanons about all the men in MK, I'm going to write one shots, fanfic, I'm going crazy and more horny for each one of them... I'm gay as f*ck. Do you want to make a request? Read my blog rules in the pinned post.

TW: sfw, headcanons in general, afab reader, smut.

He is an aggressive lover. I mean, he's not going to hit you or anything, but he's extremely cold (I laughed after remembering that he's fucking sub zero lol), he's the type to talk the basics, even to you, so don't do it "silly" questions for him, if he's okay or if he ate, he'll answer: "-I'm here in front of you so obviously I'm fine." "-Don't worry, I know how to take care of myself, I'm not a child."

He likes to show his love for you through actions, like buying you something you've been wanting for a while, like giving you a bouquet of flowers, small but meaningful, Bi-Han doesn't know how to express love for anyone, I'm sorry, But it's the truth, but he tries for you, even if it's not the best.

Bi-Han cares about you even if he doesn't express it, he knows that he is a frustrated and wrong man in several actions, even if he wants to lie to himself that he doesn't, you both know that, but if you haven't given up on him, and You're still on his side, it means you love him, and he values that.

Bi Han won't let you work outside of his sight, that is, he will want you at home, you can beg or try to argue, he will say: "-Your job is to be my husband/wife, take care of our house, me and yourself, I can't allow you to go around." -He spoke calmly, but seriously, and that was really his thought, he just wants you to be close to him, he is afraid, terrified, of losing you one day. -

Bi Han is insecure, even if he never admits it, he gets jealous very quickly, he knows that you are a beautiful person, so he knows that many ninjas lust after you, even though you are married to him, so please don't flirt with other men or women, this man is capable of crazy things and the silent treatment he will give you after that will be for an indefinite period of time.

You are always on his mind in every mission, Kuai Liang and Tomas sometimes notice their grandmaster looking into space and perhaps, a transparent smile appears quickly, while Bi-Han looks at the landscape on the horizon, thinking about you. "-I hope (Y/N) is okay" -He said to himself, shaking his head soon after and returning to the mission.

When he notices that you are sad he becomes worried, but he just crosses his arms under his chest, and looks at you waiting for an explanation for such behavior, if you are upset about something that someone from the Lin Kuei clan did to you, consider that person dead, your grand master husband will immediately leave the house forming a deadly ice dagger in his hand, returning some time later, with a determined and blood-stained look. "-Okay, wipe your tears, the problem has already been solved, let's have dinner." -He spoke seriously and calmly, as he wiped the blood from his hands on a cloth, heading to the kitchen with heavy steps and giving you a look, so you could follow him.

Bi-Han lies down on the bed next to you, but he can't sleep for several nights, he finds himself watching you, your face so peaceful next to him, the ninja monster of the lin kuei, you look so good and comfortable next to him, he really wonders why you married him, you deserve someone better.

He covers you more with the sheet, caressing your cheek lightly with his thumb, while whispering on rare occasions, that he loved you.

"-I really love you, you know that? I'm sorry I'm not the best man for you (Y/N), I really want you forever by my side, and I'll protect you from this world, whatever the cost, what do I do and for me and for you." -Bi Han told you while you slept, he placed a chaste kiss on your forehead, while looking at the moon soon after, it would be another night that he would be haunted by his own demons.

Bi-Han's favorite couple's activity with you is strolling to a lake on the Lin Kuei clan's estate, sitting with you on the cool grass as the two of you watch nature, the swans on the lake, the cloudy sky announcing an upcoming rain. would soon come, the trees swaying to the rhythm of the wind, as Bi Han talked about his mother, he really loved her, and he is happy to see that you were really interested in listening, as he talked about childhood memories, making little sculptures of ice with his fingertips to represent the story he told, it's these moments with you that make everything he did, even the cruelest things, worth it.

He may not be loyal to the clan, but he is to you. He's the type that if someone comes at him, he has to be held back so he doesn't punch them for such audacity. Ex:

"-Bi Han, are you going to come with us-"

"-I'm a married man"

"-Bi Han, we just asked-"

"-I'm a married man, I told you." -He says pointing to the wedding ring and leaving. They were just going to ask him to drink a little, but as Bi Han said, he is a married man to you.

He doesn't like nicknames, only during sex, other than that he will call you by your name, or "my husband/my wife", he likes the idea of being called "husband" by you too, so if you If you refer to him like that, in public, he will melt inside, and smile slightly sideways behind the mask.

He is a wild man in bed, taking out his frustrations and anger on your beautiful pussy, mouth and body in general.

Bi Han loves blowjobs, if he could, you would be kneeling between his legs 24 hours a day, with your pretty face taking his entire cock in your mouth - I feel sorry for you dear, this man's cock is big and thick, he's literally going to hit it down your throat easily, leaving you breathless while your husband enjoys watching you choke on his dick like that -

He likes to degrade you in sex, it's a way for him to mark you as his and release his frustrations too, he will fuck you roughly, especially fucking you with his dick stuck in your pussy, with him lifting you easily while his hips they aggressively pound against your tight hole.

"-You're a great slut, you know? Taking my cock like a desperate bitch."

"-Oh fuck, you feel so good, don't you? Your pussy was made for me, the grand master lin kuei, and only mine, only I deserve you, do you hear? I'm just going to fuck that beautiful pussy until you can only think about how You want my dick inside you."

"-Do I really have a little whore as my husband/wife? How lucky for me then."

"-I'm going to fill you up... I'm going to fill that tight pussy of yours, and you want that, don't you? You want every drop of my cum, you're a hungry slut."

He loves to call you: "slut", "dirty bitch", "private whore", "nymph", "good boy/girl with a tight pussy". Most of the sex sessions you have with Bi Han end with him cumming on your face, pussy or belly, painting everything with his cum and leaving you panting with your legs shaking - for him, sex really is only good when you are weak from cumming on his dick, and overstimulated, with a swollen clitoris - He loves many sexual positions, but he prefers:

Cowgirl’s Helper: He likes to see you on top of him, your hands on his chest, while one of his hands squeezes your ass, and the other is behind his head. Bi Han watches you get impaled on his dick, stretching your pussy slowly, as your pussy drools on his pulsing dick, he looks at you, smiling smugly when he sees the rise of his dick in your womb. He would just groan in response to your desperate moans, watching your body move as you whimpered to cum - he wasn't going to let you cum yet, and if you did, he was going to punish the hell out of you, giving you at least five painful orgasms and pleasant that night -

Stand and Deliver: He loves seeing you bent over, your waist is sore from being bent over for him, but he loves seeing your ass and waist on top, thrusting into your pussy while pulling your hands behind your back, he would go so hard on your hole that your feet would leave the ground, you could feel the burn of the speed of Bi Han's dick in your pussy, but he wouldn't stop, he wouldn't stop until he left you a trembling mess full of cum - while calling you a desperate slut his cock -

©YANDERESTARANGEL 2023

[slackerlifewhere]

In defense of Deruth

Fair warning, there will be some SPOILERS so if you haven't finished the first novel or you care about spoilers, I suggest you don't continue reading. Thanks!

I'm a reader of fanfics, manga, manhwa, manhua, and novels. I basically consume different stories whenever I'm bored (which I usually am).

But the things I've read most often involve parents, which I'm not really looking for but it's there so whatever.

I had to read stories with basically the same plot but different...ingredients but the thing I notice is that most stories involve abusive or neglectful parents. And it's weird to me. Like can't heroes or villains have good parents and they turn out the way they are because of other circumstances? Obviously, it's because authors want us to root for the character but for me, it's just lazy writing.

So imagine my annoyance when, after reading the first volume of TCF, I see several fics hating and trashing Deruth Henituse and saying he's the worst father in existence.

I get it. He's not the best father. His wife, who he loves very much, died and left him as a single father. He has responsibilities as a count and soon marries Violan who has Basen by then. They have another kid soon after, which is Lily. He seems to entrust the responsibilities of the heir to Basen after OG Cale's reputation took a nosedive. In a sense, he appears as if he doesn't care about OG Cale's feelings and reputation and looks like he's focusing on his other children.

BUT he's not the worst father either. Listen, you may hate him for whatever reason, whether you've consumed too many stories with bad parents or you see yourself in OG Cale, BUT he's an okay parent.

Let me list the top three fathers that are absolutely disgusting compared to him before I explain why I think he doesn't deserve all the hate he's getting:

1. Marquis Stan

We all know what happened to Taylor Stan and while we can blame it on Venion, it's also because of their father. Their father is basically an asshole who wants to see his children fight for the heir's position. And he doesn't care if they end up killing each other for it. It's basically like watching sports for him at this point. He's mainly the reason why Venion grew up into a twisted bastard. While yes, Venion is not innocent in any shape or form after what he did to his brother and Raon, it's obvious he became that way because of his father.

In fact, Taylor is also a victim of Marquis Stan's abhorrent parenting. He's not evil like his family but he learned to be independent and to fight back because he doesn't want to become like them. He died in the original story.

So yeah. Marquis Stan is absolutely disgusting and no one can change my mind that he's the worst existence among all the fathers in the story.

2. White Star

The only reason why he's not number 1 is because he's not a literal father but he does pose as one for DHB. If you know what he did to dragons, then I don't need to summarize it for you. For those who don't, you need to read the novel because it's going to be a long explanation. All I can say is that he's also the reason why DHB became so crazy. And honestly, I'm glad that even if Cale is very guarded at DHB, he still gave him the freedom to choose and repent later on.

3. Zed Crossman

He's the lesser evil of the two but he's kind of like Marquis Stan but tamer.

He basically has his three kids fight for the throne while ignoring or favoring one over the other. And he doesn't even try to hide that he doesn't care too much unless it involves his plans.

He basically wants to see who is more fit for the throne but he doesn't stop them from sabotaging one another.

Honestly, I put all the effort on Tasha and Obante's part that Alberu became a better person. Zed is completely useless.

---

So...is Deruth a bad father?

Before I answer that, here's the thing about OG Cale. He's a complex character who is grieving most of his life and wants to protect his siblings in his own twisted way. In order to do that, he needs to act like he's trash and push everyone away. But is that Deruth's fault? Eeeeh kinda but not really???

They both lack communication as father and son. In fact, the moment KRS, now Cale Henituse, was forcefully transmigrated into OG Cale's world, it's shown that Deruth is trying to communicate with his son.

The first few chapters show that he cares for his son in his own way when Cale sits down to join them in breakfast. He attempts to talk to Cale even though he was hesitant. He seems surprised but happy when Cale answered. Yeah, it's shitty that OG Cale's family and Ron didn't notice he got switched but in all honesty, it'll be hard for a normal person to come to the conclusion that a God was involved. If I were in their shoes, I would find it suspicious (probably thinking that something happened that changed that person's actions and personality) but I wouldn't think of transmigration or God of Death. Conspiracy theories aren't the first thing I'll think of. That's just dumb to use as an excuse for hating the Henituse family.

People, fans, want family drama but in all honesty, they're just ruining OG Cale's character in the way they do it. It's actually disrespectful to his sacrifice for his family. He made that deal with God of Death not only because he wants to see his mom but also because he wants his family to live after they all died in the war against the White Star. He lived through that war with him as the sole survivor of the whole family. That sucks. He could've stayed but he didn't want to and also because he already died in the future anyways. If he wants to help them as himself, I doubt he'll shut up about it to the God of Death, regardless if it's a literal god he's gonna argue with. Let me remind you that this guy is so stubborn, he made a trashy reputation to help his brother.

Instead of doing it himself, he chose to let KRS (who didn't know he's going to be involved in a war in another world btw) save his world and family in exchange for seeing his mother. He chose to leave not because of Deruth (not completely, at least) but because he simply wants to. And he's content with his decision, regardless of his regrets.

By the way, his mom, Jour, is also not pretty great if you think about her decision before she died (my unpopular opinion but whatever). I do think her final conversation with him and her following death traumatized him in a way that I can't help but feel angry for him. It's mainly the reason why he hates the Harris Village that Choi Han ended up in. It doesn't excuse his reaction to the village later on but it does explain why he hates the place, even if it's not their fault his mother died. So yeah, I don't like his mother (I'm not talking about her reincarnation btw. She's a kid). That's not the way to care for your son, ma'am.

Deruth is obviously trying but a relationship needs to work between two people and not just one. That's what you call a one-sided relationship, guys. It's why OG Cale and Violan are not close. Both of these characters don't try to be close, maybe not because they dislike each other but maybe because of a misunderstanding or whatever (who knows).

Cale only got close to her because he actually treats her with respect (also because...you know...he's an orphan and was abused as a kid so deep inside, he thinks Deruth and Violan are good but not the best parents). And whenever Cale gets hurt or is in a bad situation, we sometimes get their reaction. They're worried and angry for him. They want him to stay away from danger. In fact, the last few chapters are basically Deruth getting angry at Cale for endangering himself (completely understandable).

You can also argue that Deruth didn't try hard enough. Well, let me just tell you as someone who's been depressed since I was a kid that whenever my parents try to ask me what's wrong, I usually reply with "nothing" or "I'm fine." So for parents to try harder doesn't usually end up with a heart-to-heart talk unless the other wants to talk.

So yeah, I think KR novels and manhwa are basically the reason why some readers immediately jump in defense for the character they like because of possible abuse and neglect from parents. Without thinking about it properly. Like please, if you hate a character, at least try to understand them first and list down the other worst characters before you actually say that they're the worst.

Side note: The worst thing that I also notice is fans also target Basen and Lily. They include the whole Henituse family and write a fanfic about how abusive or neglectful all of them are. BASEN AND LILY ARE LITERAL KIDS. WTF ARE YOU GUYS THINKING. They didn't do anything to OG Cale??? They're just there?

Did I just create an account to rant about how stupid some fans are? Yeah, pretty much. You can hate on Deruth but don't include the kids. They're kids??? Without any involvement with OG Cale and Deruth's drama?

Reminder: I haven't read the second volume because I'm planning to read it when it's completely translated. That way, I won't have to wait too long for the next chapter.

[humorously-yours]

It's okay! guyz. Don't be sad.

We love Sauron & Galadriel because we love the star cast first Charlie Vickers and Morfydd Clark. We all know the future, Our Saurondriel can't be together. It's a harsh fate written by Tolkien himself in his Arda world. Even Eru-Ilúvatar himself can't alter his writings. But guys, don't be sad, Since we love both the actors, we can hope that they should work together in some other show or movie in which they will be together and will have a happy ending.

I always say that as a fanfic writer and reader, I have a complete right to alter the reality of the fictional characters I watch in any movie and show. I don't care about the ongoing journey or ending of that fictional character, what I care about is that I can change the fate of that artificial person whom I like.

Whether it is about regenerating a dying character or never making him/her die or Whether to change the love story of my favourite couple. If my favourite fictional characters do not have a happy ending then I myself can fantasize and write about that particular storyline of my choice.

For eg. Finnick Odair in The Hunger Games franchise, Our most beloved character died in both the book and film, but He's still alive in my fictional world. He won the war with Katniss & her team, and went back to District 4 with his better-half Annie & his newborn. He lived his complete life there. See, this is how I can alter anything, and no one will question me.

The same conditions apply to you guys. You can alter the storyline of your fictional characters too. That's why it's called Fanfic for a reason.

The show makers of The Rings of Power literally tortured us by casting the most perfect pair for playing Sauron and Galadrial. Other actors and their characters are too good too, I won't disagree, All of them truly played their role well. But I am here for my lovely Saurondriel couple, My Dark Lord Sauron and Elvish Soldier (Commander of Northern Armies), You both are my favourite. I know J.R.R. Tolkien didn't write you together as a power couple but in my fantasy world, You two represent Darkness and Light respectively and Rule not only the Middle Earth but the whole planet Arda "together". I love you so much.

One thing more....

True Tolkien lovers couldn't accept this truth and gave bad reviews on IMDb about this show. The show makers took a huge risk of making a show based on the second ages of Tolkien's work with the help of Third age writings (The Lord of the Rings).

Source: Wikipedia ⬇️

They think that by changing storylines and adding new characters is a direct insult to Tolkien but I don't find the show as an Insult or anything bad. What I see is how good the writers are that without the First & the second age book, they are still able to write good content and I don't know what you people think but in my eyes, I feel it's a good show and do not deserve the hate, it has received. I respect J.R.R. Tolkien but I can't hate this show.

It's okay for me, If you being a True Tolkien lover wants to confront me for my views on the show. But I said the truth. I like this show.

Okay Bye! 💟

[spnfanficpond]

August 2024 Angel Fish Awards

(Angel Fish design by @slytherkins!!)

Every month all of you fantastic writers work your asses off to post some truly incredible stories. Our Angel Fish Awards are the way for all of us, as a community of writers and readers, to lift each other up and give praise to those who have captured our attention and deserve a few kind words. (Click here to learn more about how to nominate a fic for an award!)

Nominated by @autisticandroids

like my waffle house hashbrowns by @spnregular

Extremely unique pwp. It involves at one point jerking off a plant. It also involves Dean comparing Cas to his car: “You know how I take care of my things. Keep ‘em clean, fine tuned,” Dean said, “Just like Baby.” Which is just *chef kiss*. And it's hair-washing kink. Which is so much fun.

~*~*~

Nominated by @aylacavebear

Things Learned and Unlearned by @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior

The author has a way with words, pulling you into a world all their own. I got hooked on this with the first chapter. This story has ALL the feels and it's not even finished yet. A truly amazing author.

~*~*~

Nominated by @evadne01

Gabe Lives And Loves by @masoena

I find this story while I was trying to cope after seeing again season 13. And this warmed my heart and I felt so good after reading it! Loved it, loved the arts of the story!

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Nominated by @heavenssexiestangel

A Means to an End by Pieafterdemons

I was looking for some darker stuff to read and as many know, I love Alastair/Dean. So, I found this li'l story here. It's Dead Dove so be warned of the tags and what they entail. I like how the writer wrote the whump and the darkness of it all, and how Dean came to say yes. I also like the dark and yet not stereotypical idea of Alastair.

~*~*~

Nominated by @leatafandom

Making the Cut by @deeranger

This story was so deliciously dark, creepy, and horrifying. It is wonderfully written, the word choice the way they wove themes through and illicit stomach-turning emotions. It was a thrill to read and just one of new my favorite dark fics. A wonderful read if you're into dark themes.

State of Grace by @cloverhighfive

It's a very different story! Very interesting read!!!

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Nominated by @mariekoukie6661

The Harvest by @cloverhighfive

It's a very different story! Very interesting read!!!

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Nominated by @mrswhozeewhatsis

The King's Seraph Consort (series) by @ladylilithprime

I've been enjoying Lady's Sastiel offerings when I need a little pick-me-up, and this little mini-series made me SWOON! Sam's so heroic! Sam and Dean are devoted to each other! Sam is so kind to Cas! Gabriel is wise, and yet still a wiseass! And this little two-part series is a perfect snack when I don't have time for anything bigger. It's adorable and sweet and makes me fall in love with Sam even more.

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Nominated by @spn-fanfic-reblog-writes

The Perfect Submissive (Google translated title) by Natcumirun (AO3)

The story is in Russian. I use Google translate. Shhh. Aside from the kink, it’s interesting how fear shapes our views and that it tends to take a very confident, knowledgeable person to show that sometimes the fear is just us needing to process childhood pain. It’s an interesting take and I love how the relationship develops between a much older, teacher Castiel and 18 y/o Dean.

Thunderstorm by @anyreiart

This is such a twist to the Omegaverse and the human Castiel. I had never thought of this and so glad someone did. It’s so quaint and domestic. Oh, the fluff is amazing. The connection these two have and how Dean is able to overcome his expectations as well as their relationship hiccups because of his Alpha, it’s beautiful. He even aids in guiding the newly human Castiel and new omega in the human world with his love. Yes, I’m a hopeless romantic.

Soother by @hartlessfiction

I was literally jumping up and down when Dean started arguing with Cas and Cas is so confused, then the pheromones hit. True mates. Just fluffy-fluff, schmoopy and adorable!

Cornerstone by @gracefreakdean

That’s a love story. That’s a true love story. Oh; I hope one day they write more. I’m in love with this beautiful, well-done story that begins like it could be anyone else’s.

Castiel Enjoys Enya by @naked-covered-in-bees

It’s fluffy and cute. Cas is not getting that it's what's on the tapes that Dean likes, not the tape itself but points out that it’s from him, which is why he likes it. I love how Claire explains and their relationship dynamic. Seems so spot on and so canon. I love all of this. It’s an adorable and quick read.

~*~*~

Nominated by @spnbabe67

Touch Me by @zepskies

As a bigger girl whose love language is physical touch, this hit home. My best friend and adopted sister came from a place where physical affection wasn't prominent so trying to get used to it on both our parts is so real in this writing. Dean's uncomfortableness with the reader's overabundance of physical contact, and the readers self self-consciousness while they are trying to go to sleep is such a real, raw, human thing. I loved this so much!

He's Not A Machine! by @mind-empty-just-fictional-people

I love Stanford era!Dean and this is a scene I 100% know happened at one point. And on a biblical level I needed to have John be read a new one for the way he pushed and pushed Dean.

(Divider by @glygriffe)

THANK YOU ALL, KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK, AND AS ALWAYS, HAPPY WRITING!

- From your Admins and Manta Rays, @manawhaat, @mrswhozeewhatsis, @mariekoukie6661, @thoughtslikeaminefield, @heavenssexiestangel, and @spn-fanfic-reblog-writes!

[exaltedfuzz]

Hi! Do you have some personal HCs regarding how Lana dealt with the grief of losing her parents? She'd known them her whole life compared to Ema, and I love to think about (read: make myself sad about) how she managed to balance that and trying to do the best by her only remaining family.

Hello! Honestly, if a question contains “do you have some personal HCs regarding [...] Lana”, the answer is almost definitely yes, and this is no exception! Thanks for the ask. I’ve got a couple scripts in early stages around this very topic, so I don’t want to spoil too many of my thoughts in case I ever want to make a comic about them, or something. (Honestly, I should just write fanfic at this point… I have a rough piece of prose writing in the works that I'll attach part of under the cut... A little teaser.)

Around the time Lana would have had to start taking care of Ema, I think I’ve settled on it being most likely between 16 and 18, since I think if she hadn’t had to stay put for Ema, she’d have moved away to go to uni. So she’d be in a pretty tense time in her life anyway, with exams coming up, and whatever teenage stuff she was dealing with. I imagine that when she got the call saying that her parents were dead, she didn’t have much time to grieve alone before Ema was asking what was wrong, and her focus had to very quickly switch right onto making sure that her sister was ok. In general, I think the thing with Lana is that she’s massively self sacrificial, so her coping mechanism became doing the best possible job she could for Ema, and in that, there wouldn’t be much time for grief between making sure Ema was fed, making sure she was getting good grades so she’d manage to get onto a law course (so she could earn good money to put Ema through college), making sure she could drive, so they could shop and get places…

Here she is...

I think one of the biggest struggles in the early days was learning how to drive. She would have probably been about to start lessons, or just started, (if we assume she was 16 or so) and her parents just died in a car crash. But she’d just have to get on with it, because it was necessary. (She doesn’t have the best record with cars, does she?)

Since Ema says she “used to be so gentle, always smiling”, I think that this was the image of her that Ema experienced most often, so it’s safe to say that she was really patient with her. Ema was probably the only thing that kept her going at a lot of different points in her life.

I expect there would have been some really rough moments though, once Ema was off to sleep and she was alone in a house much too big for a teenage girl and a baby. I like to think that they at least got to inherit a house. (They deserve a little bit of a break, don't they?)

Here's a doodle of her in the first few seconds of having to acknowledge the fact that she's on her own. This is based on a line from the thing under the cut.

And, as promised, here's a little bit of writing. Rough and underdeveloped, I think, but hopefully enjoyable.

The landline didn’t usually go. If it was important, her parents would call her cell. But it did go. Three times, consecutively. She could recall it all. Ema, sitting up at the table with her, eating her pot of yoghurt and drawing in the back of Lana’s notebook. Lana’s textbook laid out in front of her - this was the one thing she didn’t remember. It was physics, that much she knew, but she just couldn’t bring herself to care about whatever was on that page after the rest of what she learned that night. She was smiling, Ema was too. She couldn’t keep her sticky little hands off of Lana’s pens and pencils. It was achingly normal. So familiar. Her parents would have a conference, or a party, or a theatre trip planned, and she was old enough to look after Ema, so she did. She was good with her.

So when they told her to not wait up, to make sure Ema got a little snack if she was hungry, to call them if she needed anything, it was normal. Another night in, another night of making sure Ema didn’t get too curious about what all the fun things under the sink were, another night of studying, another quiet night. She liked them. Sure, it was hard to be saddled with looking after the most curious baby to ever have little hands to grab with, and it was hard to not feel like she was missing out whenever her friends would go out, while she was here, eating carrot sticks and cucumber to try to encourage Ema to follow suit - those days still tasted like hummus in her mind. But it was a labour of love, and Lana was happy to sacrifice her time for her baby sister.

She tried not to be bitter. She didn’t want to be, because Ema was such a joy. But when she’d sit up at the table, nose in her books as always, and she’d hear all the fawning over the youngest Skye, she did feel left out. When Ema was born, Lana stopped getting so many little treats. Her parents used to take her out with them to these excursions. It was a lot of fun to get to talk to the scientists who worked with her mum, she loved seeing the crappy plays that the amateur dramatic society put on, she’d always end up getting sweets and snacks when her dad took her to the shops, and it just kind of stopped when Ema was born. It was a hard time for Lana, but she couldn’t resent Ema. She had a silly smile, and little hands which wanted nothing more than to squeeze Lana’s fingers, and poke around at her face. Holding Ema in her arms while she conducted her first scientific experiments on the elastic potential of Lana’s nose almost made her cry.

She told her parents then that she wasn’t ever going to let anyone hurt Ema, and she’d done her best to make good on that promise until her life was once again torn out from under her feet with the SL-9 incident, and she found herself constantly hurting Ema all on her own in her self absorption. She never forgave herself for that. Ema did, though. She was always so excited to come and see her on the other side of that visitation room, and she still told her everything, like Lana made sure she knew she could. Her eyes looked sad, though. Lana had watched those eyes as they changed from barely betraying any conscious thought, to when they quirked half closed with Ema’s newfound sarcastic smirk. Lana wasn’t quite sure she liked that. Her baby sister was older than she was that night by now, and she definitely didn’t seem like she could handle looking after a kid. What must Lana have looked like?

She knew what she felt like, that’s for sure. Of course, she stood up, with a sigh, on the third repetition of that irritating ringing, and held up the phone to her ear. She was so ready to tell whoever was on the other side that they didn’t need double glazed windows.

“Hello?”

“Is this the Skye residence?”

It was cold. Maybe they did need double glazed windows. Lana hesitated before she responded.

“Ah, yes?”

“Am I speaking to Miss Lana Skye?”

“...Who is this?”

There was too much blood rushing through Lana’s head for her to really hear what the response was.

“Sorry, could you repeat that last bit?”

“There’s been an incident involving a Mr. and Dr. Skye.”

She didn’t care about the rest of whatever he said. Something about investigation being open, something about intensive care, something about an escort car to the hospital being arranged. She could not speak, and her eyes failed. She leant forward, one hand white knuckled around the phone, the other now beginning to bleed with how Lana was chewing at her thumbnail. Ema was still babbling on the other side of the kitchen-diner. She never wished Ema would shut up, but she didn’t want to hear her making these silly noises as if their lives weren’t about to become impossible.

Lana was about to put Ema to bed. It was late. She didn’t remember the time. It was easier that way. She was supposed to be giving a presentation tomorrow at school, and she wanted to be sharp and awake for it. She wasn’t really planning on staying up much longer herself. Certainly not to wait for her parents to get back. She supposed they never would, now. She recognised the way this officer spoke from all the stupid cop shows she watched. She didn’t need it spelled out for her. She mumbled out a thanks, and hung up.

She always hated crying. She couldn’t stand it. The way her breath sounded as it shuddered out of her made her feel weak, and she wasn’t weak. She couldn’t ever afford to be, and that was all she could think of. Lana didn’t notice Ema getting out of the chair and unsteadily walking over to her, and her little grasping hands reaching for the hem of her jumper managed to ground her again. She looked over her shoulder at her sister. Eyes so wide and full of questions, all of which Lana realised, in that moment, she would have to answer. She must have scared her with the way her eyebrows furrowed and the way she grit her teeth, because Ema pulled a little sad face at her.

“Why are you crying?”

Ema wasn’t really that helpful sometimes. Lana swallowed, and looked for an answer. She tilted her head up, closed her eyes, and covered them with her hand, before breathing.

All she could manage to choke out was confirmation: “I’m very upset.”

What a useless statement.

Ema wasn’t ever satisfied with one answer. She just kept asking why. Lana knew that you had to be honest with kids when they had complex questions, so she picked Ema up in her skinny arms and held her while she explained. Usually, she was delighted to explain everything about the world to her sister, but this was hard. Not as hard as seeing Ema’s little pout as she tried to comprehend, though.

As she sat in the escort car on her way to the hospital, as if their presence would miraculously bring their parents to life, she kept holding Ema. She kissed the top of her head and tried not to cry on her soft hair. Her stomach turned as she thought about what the last thing her mum had said to her was. It had escaped her mind until now, and she wished she could let it escape her mind forever.

"No boyfriends over, alright? Be good. Love you. See you in the morning."

She supposed she'd never get to tell them now that there never would be any boyfriends. It was selfish of her to care about something so trivial, so she tried her best to push it to the side. Ema never had to know, either. It wasn't important.

She didn't end up giving her presentation. Or going to school, for the next few days. Ema was at home, so Lana was at home.

[poopingonthefloor]

Davesport is Toxic NOT abusive

(((WARNING: PRETTY LONG POST UNDER THE CUT.))) I've seen some people making the claims that Davesport is comship/proship (ok well i've more seen people bitching about it) and im tired of the Davesport slander so this will be an analysis of their relationship. My motive isn't to force anyone to ship it or anything- i really dont care what you do with your life, my frustration is just when people try to make up REASONS why they don't like the ship, even though its literally canon (and not badly written). My main point is -- You can hate what you want. You don't need a reason, and it doesn't need to be bad just because you don't like it. But I will not take any slander on their ship nor any slander of people who like davesport. Davesport is absolutely toxic-- No DSAF fan would disagree. They are literally child murderers with little to no souls and literally are physically disfigured to the point they don't have the capacity to feel proper humanity anymore. You cant expect 2 men who live their lives willingly murdering and then partying in vegas to celebrate on repeat to be gentle and kind to themselves or anyone else.

However, its NOT abusive. I've seen multiple people (mostly from twitter screenshots) claim that Davesport is abusive or the way people portray it is in a fetishy or romanticizing way of abuse, when that's just not the case. I don't blame a lot of people, since a lot of it comes from reading context and intent of the artist, which not everyone is good at-- BUT I'm here to assure you that MOST people don't intend to do that much and just like to portray how their dynamic is canonically like or portray Daves obsession with Jack. Another argument I've seen (by a twitter screenshot...) is that people are comshipping Davesport because people draw Jack annoyed a lot at Dave when...thats not true? That's just Jack's personality, first off:

(From the Dave x Reader fanfic by Directdoggo)

"Jack is a bastardman not very touchy-feely. We can see this in many scenes, where Dave more or less says “I love you” and Jack responds with deflecting humour, or outright scorn. When Dave says it for the final time, this time, Jack tries to say it back, but can’t outright, only getting out: “Why is this so hard?” and “I hope you can find peace with what you’ve done.” Which Dave understood the meaning of. (Hey, better than Henry (LEGACY Jack) hearing “I love you” and proceeding to tear Dave limb from limb, huh?"

(Directdoggo describing Jack's personality)

I know it can be a little confusing to some people, but as someone who struggles with similar issues, just because he struggles to express intimately doesn't mean he can't love anything. Sometimes people are just different and communicating like that doesn't come as easily, even to the people you're closest to. To make it as easy as possible to comprehend-- He's quite literally a tsundere. (Minus the exaggerated ridiculousness in anime) He loves Dave, he just cant bring himself to say or act like it. The dismissiveness or rudeness in response to Dave's affection is not abuse, it's just a defensive response since he doesn't know how to say it back. (His way of being "shy") -- Also note its important that Dave UNDERSTANDS this about him by that point.

However Jack isn't the only thing I've seen regarding the claims that their ship is abusive-- and to debunk all of those I'm going to explain the three points that keep Davesport from being abusive, and I'll use Henry x Dave (which is what I'll call it to prevent it getting confused for FNAF willry) as an example alongside it since its super obvious why that one is messed up. Firstly, They are both bad people. By this point, Dave and Jack are murderers. It's just not surprising that they will be willing to kill each other at at least some point, considering they are willing to kill 5 year olds without remorse- and they'll both deserve it. It's only their own faults that they teamed up with the other, and it's meant to be the ultimate irony when Jack becomes even worse than Dave by "An ending". My point is- they're bad people. It's not like they're owed perfect company or would choose wholesome people to hang out with when they're literally both child murderers. Dave wasn't evil and didn't want to kill by the time he teamed up with Henry (and even after it was Henry's fault), so by that point his suffering was absolutely undeserved.

Secondly, They're lacking any specific power dynamic. Unlike Henry and Dave- whom have several levels of "Age, Father figure, and Employer", the most important one is that Henry is Dave's abuser. He manipulated him and purposefully harmed him both mentally and physically, whereas Dave never had any intention of doing either because Dave loved him and didn't want to lose him (because he had nobody else) This obviously much different with Dave and Jack, whom other than being taller and several years older than (which you can argue their 6 year age gap is weird but they didnt get to know each other till they were both older than 30 so by that point age difference doesnt rlly matter and (also theyre "mentally" like 24 and 22 canonically anyways (as much as I usually hate that argument)) Other then that they are only co-workers. This is a bit more arguable during DSAF 1, where Dave comes across more threatening and comes across like he's manipulating Jack, but I don't exactly count that because I wouldn't say theyre "shippable" or in their "situationship*" by that point (but also because them even being a ship was barely considered by the creator at that point obviously)-- whereas Dave is certainly more easily recognized as sincere to Jack in DSAF 2. Jack also is not someone who is afraid to defend himself against Dave, as shown by the fact he's willing to call out Dave's ridiculous behaviors (which is reasonable of him to do).

(Also from the Dave x reader fanfic) (I just think this specific screenshot debunks any sort of "power dynamic" claim)

My Third and Final point: There is a CHOICE involved I haven't really done much Dave defense in this post, but his defense is very simple: He is literally physically unable to comprehend guilt or conscience. Dave didn't want to murder anyone in the first place, but it was Henry who fucked with his (literal) head so much to the point he stopped being able to feel guilt. He doesn't care about murder and doing wrong because he CAN'T care. You can't really let that reflect Dave as a character when he's really not in control of himself in the first place. Now with that, that doesn't change the fact he could certainly affect and hurt people, and it's fully up to Jack as to whether or not he wants to deal with this purple man's freakish life choices and hobbies or not. And that's honestly super dependent on the ending you decide to base Jack on. Most people see the 'canon' endings to be: Gnarly ending (DSAF 1) -> An ending (DSAF 2) -> Good ending (DSAF 3) Where in all of these, Jack DOES choose to deal with Dave and basically is completely cool with murder. You don't have to follow those endings if you don't want to, but that's just typically what the modern "Davesport" is known for, but its what I'm using for my defense (considering this is a defense of both fandom and canon Davesport.) Though as opposed with Henry and Dave- Dave had no choice. Henry only ever manipulated him into thinking he did, and Henry made sure to feed this whole 'we will be a family' ideal into Dave (who never had one) so that Dave would be terrified to lose him. Jack never manipulates Dave (when teamed up with him), and Dave never manipulates Jack (tho arguable in DSAF 1 as well). They stay with each other despite all of their issues, and I believe its due to some co-dependency (imo I think Jack is also obsessed with Dave just in a different way before DSAF 3) Which isn't healthy, but not...inherently abusive.

I believe my main three points kind of cover the most of why I dont consider Davesport to be inherently a bad ship, but like I said- if you don't like it, none of that matters anyways. You dont NEED a reason to like something, and I wont try to convince you why you should ship something because I like it. Just don't hate it just because of what someone else says-- 90% of the dsaf fandom aren't comshippers, and Davesport isn't gross or "toxic /neg" just because it's not healthy. I think "Don't fetishize/romanticize literal abuse like its normal or sexy" and "We should explore more complicated and unhealthy dynamics" can and SHOULD coincide with each other!!!! I think Davesport is great because of how bittersweet it is that these two people finally found solace and acceptance in each other but couldn't get past the self-sabotaging nature of what Henry turned them both into, ultimately making it impossible to work out forever. I think embracing the Davesport makes the (kind of aged) trilogy a lot more enjoyable of an experience and I DO encourage any davesport skeptics to keep an open mind. [Pretend I wrapped this up super nicely I can never do that--- Also this is open for conversation and/or debate, and also yada yada my bad if i said something randomly terrible I have extremely poor social skills lol let me know so I dont do it again yada yada] *Also if anyone doesnt know a situationship is (at least in the context im using it in ive heard other definitions for it but its not a real word so i actually dont care) when 2(or more) people basically treat eachother like lovers but they never communicate this outright and dont technically officially date but like they treat and commit to eachother like a partner would) (So its kind of what all those people who playfully flirt and call each other their spouses as a commited running joke are in)

[navstuffs]

No Ordinary Love

Pairing: Leon x SuccubusFemale!Reader

Summary: Leon Kennedy is addicted to you.

Warnings: songfic, SMUT, touch-starved leon, needy!leon, reader does feed on him

Author's Notes: hello! this fanfic is so important to me due to the song that inspired me to write: No Ordinary Love by Sade. if you don't know Sade, please go and listen to her. it was super hard to edit this fanfic cause the song is so freaking good and i kept getting distracted. anyway, reader is a succubus, but she might not be a "proper" succubus, i will adapt for my writing needs. this fanfic might have a prequel (how they met, after re2 events) and a sequel, so we shall see. i hope you enjoy!

leon's masterlist

"I gave you all the love I got I gave you more than I could give Gave you love"

It is late when Leon Kennedy knocks on the familiar door after just landing from Spain. He is exhausted, with images of the last days tormenting his head. Ada. Ashley. Luis's death. As a loop, he sees their faces over and over again. He shakes his head, trying to focus on the door before him and the person who will open it. Some part of him knows he shouldn't be there, something deep inside his soul is telling him to leave, he doesn't deserve you, but when the door flies open, all thoughts inside his head disappear.

Everything else disappears around him.

There is no more Ada. No more Ashley, Luis, or even Leon S. Kennedy. Only you.

"I gave you all that I have inside And you took my love You took my love(...)"

You wear an oversized black shirt that goes just above your knees. Your beauty always seems to leave him breathless because no one should look this stunning. It is unfair. Leon forgets how to speak and how to act. He is just a rookie all over again. The hopeless rookie who met you years ago, desperate for some comfort, any comfort after Racoon City. Only you matter right now. Shit, he hasn't realized how much he missed you. Your touch. Your kisses. Your warmth. 

"Do you know what time it is, Kennedy?" You yawn, crossing your arms. Understandable, he woke you up in the middle of the night. You had all the right to be angry if you wanted; Leon feels like shit about it, though he couldn't wait until the morning to see you.

"Yes. May I come in?" His voice way is softer than his usual tone, but again, he is different when it comes to you. He is not the same person around you.

Your eyebrows arch, surprised, and Leon notices your nipples harden against your shirt. Perfect.

"I don't know. Can you?"

"When you came my way You brightened every day With your sweet smile(...)"

Please, let me in. Please, Leon begs mentally, and you smirk as if listening to his silent pleas. As if you could read his mind, knowing precisely how much he needs you.

"Please?" Leon murmurs, looking at your bare feet, not believing how fragile his voice sounds.

Not after all those things he had killed or everything he had gone through, he would still be clay in your hands. It didn't matter how many times he saved the world or how many he killed, you would still be the one who put Leon on his knees, this invisible force pulling him for you. 

Leon doesn't know what would happen to him if you deny him. He might die as a thirsty man who got close to the oasis but failed to drink the water. Or got so close to the sun and burned himself before touching it. All those thoughts rush through his mind before your feet finally, finally give him passage, and Leon thanks mentally for your benevolence.

Leon starts walking into your house before you stop him, hands on his chest. You stare at his expression for a second, and Leon's heart beats so fast that he finally feels like living again.

"You don't look well. Was it hard this time?"

Leon's mind flashes with everything that happened to him in the last couple of days. He doesn't have to say anything: you know Leon better than anyone. You nod as if reading his mind again, closing the door.

"I will take care of you. Come."

"Didn't I give you All that I've got to give, baby(...)"

Leon's mind drifts away. He would lie if he said he didn't like the taste you left on his body, his heart, on his soul. You were like a drug, the strongest he had ever tasted. 

"Leon."

Oh, how much he missed your moans. Your desperate sobs of his name as he pushed his cock inside of you, as a madman. There is nothing, nothing in this world that would separate you from him. 

"Leon."

"I keep trying for you There's nothing like you and I, baby(...)"

He doesn't know what happens when he is inside of you, a feeling he can't describe. It is different from everything he tried before: you delight him. You keep him there while you take away the pain, sadness, and anything he had inside. You amplify all his senses as you empty them. He watches as your boobs bounce and your eyes light with a strange glow, but he doesn't care. Leon only cares about being yours.  

He moans a lot, too: he begs. Begs for you not to leave him, begs you to stay with him forever, and implores you to love him. Tells you there is no else for him, except for you.

Leon can feel you are close, and he trembles under your power, trying to match your thrusts. All he can focus on is how tight you are squeezing him now, how delicious you look on top of him, how much he loves being yours, being loved by you.

"This is no ordinary love No ordinary love"

When Leon cums, his vision gets hazy. He holds your ass down rougher than he would want, so you don't move. He likes to feel his seed inside you, his eyes rolling to his head.

Leon Kennedy ceases to exist to exist again only because of you.

When you fall to his side, Leon can't move. He never moves after cumming inside of you, that feeling of you squeezing tight, taking all that he has. Leon feels your gentle hand taking his hair from his sweaty face, kissing his lips, and savoring it. He moans in your mouth, grabbing your hips with the bit of strength he still has. 

"Feeling better, Leon?" 

Leon nods, his big blue eyes begging him not to leave you. To stay with him forever. He is more exhausted than when he arrived, but he is grateful. You smile compassionately, the strange glow in your eyes slowly disappearing, laying your head on his chest. 

"I lo-"

"Shhh, Leon. You have to rest now. Everything will be okay in the morning. Sleep, my love."

As a command, you watch Leon Kennedy sink into darkness. You sigh, listening to his heartbeats, the sensation of satisfaction and fullness in your veins not enough to dismiss the tiny feeling of worry you had before. Or the happiness when you saw him. Or the feeling that he belongs to you and only you. There were too small to consider but not small enough to ignore. You shake your head and find yourself foolish as you make circles on Leon's chest. Now, after all the years, was not the time to get sentimentalist. You fall asleep, ignoring the sensation of comfort of being in Leon's arms.

"Keep trying for you Keep crying for you Keep lying for you Keep flying and I'm falling

And I'm falling"

[the-kr8tor]

Hi, I wanted to ask for a fluff fanfic about having like a hair care day with Hobie and we have to take out he’s wicks (I hope that’s ok with you) 

Hi, angel! Thank you for requesting and all the love on my works! I did some research on how to take care of wicks so I could write this properly and accurately, I hope I wrote it okay! Ly 😘

Pairing: Hobie Brown x gn! Reader/ Spider-Punk x gn! Reader

Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, FLUFF.

A/N: don't waste water, kids 😆

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

“So I said to her ‘you're being unfair to Anton’ and you know what she said to me?” you peak over to look at Hobie, his eyes are closed, face relaxed as you wash his hair.

You sit on a little stool placed in the middle of the tub, your hand on the shower head, the other is massaging his scalp. Your entire bottom half is drenched with lukewarm water, feet soaked and slicked with shampoo.

His head rests on the edge of the tub, propped up with a soft fluffy towel for comfort. Hobie sits on a similar stool, body away from the cold tiles. After numerous tries in finding the best and most efficient position, practically turning yourself into an acrobat with how you were folding your body into different positions to wash Hobie’s hair; you've finally cracked the code, albeit it looked funny at first. He even suggested washing his hair in the sink, which you turned down. You're not letting him bend over a sink and eventually hurt his back. Just the idea of washing his hair on the dirty sink (which was counterproductive) made you invent this ridiculous position.

Getting your clothes wet was well worth it though as you watch him slowly crack his eye open accompanied with a soft smile.

“What’d she say?” He whispers, clearly hiding his sleepiness, induced by your massaging and gentle washing. You could barely hear it from the rush of water from the shower head.

“She said ‘get off my back’ a bit rude, huh?” you wipe a stray water droplet away from his eyelid.

“Mm-hmm” he hums, absolutely relaxed to the bone.

“I'm all done, Hobie— aaand you're asleep” you take notice of his soft snores. You sigh, admiring his sleeping face.

On a regular day you would've let him sleep, but this is the only time you could maintain and re-style his wicks. In between spider responsibilities and yours, this was a long awaited hair care day, scheduled weeks ago to accommodate your busy schedules.

You wake him up with a soft pat of his cheek. Hobie sleeps soundly, you're already feeling guilty for even trying to wake him up. Face upside down, you kiss his forehead. When that still doesn't work, you surrender, he deserves to rest. You can always continue the routine when he wakes up.

Taking the nearby towel, you gently pat the sides of his face dry first. Then there's a silent realization, how in the world are you getting him to bed? You're definitely not gonna let him sleep in the bathroom, no matter how cozy he looks.

“Babe?” You whisper into his ear. “Hobie, you gotta wake up so you can sleep properly in the bedroom”

“Huh?” Miraculously, he opens his eyes, his mind still asleep. “What?”

“You fell asleep while I was washing your hair. Guess I did too good, huh?”

“Hmm, you did, love” he yawns, “‘m awake now, please continue”

“You were out cold, I can always finish it after you've rest”

Hobie sits up, stretching his arms above his head, he turns around the stool to face you. Water drips onto the towel wrapped around his shoulders.

“I'm awake, see?” you're not entirely convinced with how his eyes slowly droop.

“I don't think so” you chuckle.

He rolls his eyes, you can see that he got an idea with how his lips curl into a mischievous smile. Before you could ask, he shakes his head rapidly. Water sprays all over your face from his still wet hair, you try to shield yourself with your arms, but it's too late, he's already finished with his attack.

Hobie laughs loudly, it bounces off the walls, emphasizing his happiness. Meanwhile, you look at him like you ran through a car wash. You're sopping wet, glaring at him all the while.

“I hand you my heart and you've betrayed me” you say dramatically.

“Sorry,” he chuckles all throughout the word. “Now we're both awake” Hobie pokes your wet cheeks.

Two can play at that game. You fling the shower head towards his face, water sprays him as he yells out a ‘is that how it is?!’ he splutters out, wet from head to toe. Hobie’s too quick though, he wrestles the shower head from your hand, you screech, smiling and giggling. Water drenches you two, the entire bathroom wet from your play fight.

He's mindful of his own strength, careful not to let you slip and fall off the stool. Hobie cradles your back with one arm, one leg up inside the tub and a knee on the edge to stabilize himself. With one quick movement of his leg, he shuts the water off with his foot.

You gasp out at his ingenious plan, hand over his bare chest. Hobie uses your reaction to smooch you with a wet kiss. You finally let him win, smiling throughout the kiss.

Will you ever finish the routine though? Maybe in a few hours after he's done attacking your face.

[bratdotcom]

No Alarms And No Surprises ( Please ) ♡

( Re8!retired!Chris Redfield x GN!reader || retiring is harder than he thought ♡ retired!married!au , some angst w/ comfort ofc ♡ mentions of minor injuries/guns but nothing too graphic )

Chris flinched slightly as you dab ointment onto his palms. Instinctively, he puts his thumb in his mouth after you put ointment on it. He spits, gags a bit at the sterile taste of ointment on his thumb. His face sours at the taste. He had no idea why he did that or why he decided grabbing flowers from a nearby bush was a good idea before coming home.

Cute idea, bad execution. At least he tried. It's the thought that counts, right?

You sigh softly, holding the back of his hand in yours as you watch his whole ordeal unfold right in front of you. “My god Chris- be careful next time- don't put your thumb in your mouth-” you cut him off before he tries putting his thumb in his mouth again to sooth the cuts on the pad of his thumb. He freezes in place, stiffening up like a statue in his seat.

“Sorry…” He says in a low voice, apologizing for no reason at all. It wasn't his fault, in your eyes. In his eyes, it was his fault. For making you worry. Worrying for the worrywart didn't suit you. Doesn't suit you, at least in his eyes.

His eyes fall onto the bouquet of flowers on your coffee table, hastily put together with a somewhat rushed muted pink bow tying the whole thing together. He did what he could to make them look pretty. Chris wasn't the best at tying bows. Or putting together bouquets. He wasn't made for this type of life. At least, that's what he thought.

Domestic life didn't suit him, he told himself. He stares down at his hands, all cut up with a somewhat shiny sheen from the ointment you put on them. Cut up from picking flowers, not from fighting. Not from using guns.

“I just thought it'd be nice if I brought home flowers for you - I didn't know they had thorns, okay?” He says, looking over at your worried face. Seeing you looked so concerned for him hurt more than the palms of his hands. Stung more than the feeling of thorns pricking his skin.

“Still.” You get up from the floor, sitting next to him on the couch. His hands rest in yours, his much larger hands face up towards the ceiling. Yours support his, underneath the warmth of his hands was yours. Under his calloused palms were your soft ones.

“You still should be careful.” You look up at him, eyes filled with worry for your husband. “I'd rather you come home empty handed than with cut-up hands and roses for me, Chris.” You glance down at his hands, frowning softly. He didn't like seeing you like this either.

“I'm sorry.” He frowns, repeating his words from earlier in a more soft tone.

Domestic life was scarier to him, scarier than the things he's seen on the field. The warm feeling in his chest scared him, and it felt like something was blooming in his heart the more he looked at you. This feeling of comfort was foreign, a feeling that he didn't think he deserved.

Retiring was scary. He didn't know what to expect now. Everything was calmer. Softer. That scared him.

“You don't have to apologize.” You lean closer to him, lowering your head to look directly at him. The way your eyes softened on him made him feel something he couldn't really put into words. Safe? Loved? You made Chris feel a lot of things.

“I know but-” Chris cuts himself off, thinking it'd be for the best if he just shut himself up. “Flowers or not, I'll still love you.” You lean in for a kiss, softly pressing your lips against his cheek. “You don't need flowers to win me over again and again, you know that? I'll love you no matter what.” your words make him smile to himself, stupidly feeling your kiss linger on his cheek.

♡ ⊹ ۫ ۪ ꒰͡₍⑅ᐢ..ᐢ₎ reblogs n' feedback r greatly appreciated !! support ur local fanfic writers !! ♡ ͡꒱

[pyschedtrickster]

TADC Ep 2 - Depression and the Meaning of Life

Well, I may or may not be a day late to release of the episode, but I've watched it three times so far and I have some thoughts. Let's get the gritty stuff outta the way.

First of all, The Amazing Digital Circus belongs to @gooseworx and therefore everything I say here is just my personal take on the episode. I could be wrong, talking out my ass, etc. But this episode really spoke to me, so good job Goose.

Secondly, spoilers <3

Third, I think I've written enough that people won't get jumpscared with spoilers. This is gonna be a long read, so bear with me. This post will contain ALL my thoughts on the episode, both meaningful and just silly things I liked.

BUBBLE

So anyone who knows me from Bunnydoll Burrow knows I love Bubble. They're my favorite so far and this episode only cemented that further. They're wonderful comedic relief and even if they don't have any character development (which I don't think they will), I will always love them.

Caine Cares Too Much

While watching this, I was immediately off-put by Caine's reactions, even beginning with him calling Zooble back. He sounds so... dire? I don't know if that was intended to mean something or if it was just to put emphasis on how much Caine cares about his creations. Caine is AI, so world-building is likely his ONLY goal, or his prompt if you will. It wouldn't surprise me if that was why he was so upset by everyone's reactions.

But I can't help but wonder if this will play into his character arc. We understand that Caine is ambiguous right now and there's no real explanation of what his intentions are in the Circus. Something about this just really set me off. It made me feel unsafe in a way as if staying behind would result in danger of some kind. Obviously, it couldn't be that bad, as Zooble did stay behind and turned out fine. Still, I can't shake the feeling that this is foreshadowing.

Zoobie

Hilarious. What a solid nickname, I've seen so many headcanons that Zooble would be a stoner in the real world. This only makes it better. They are now Zoobie in my mind.

Pomni's Child Comment

While I'm sure this was just a silly comment to be made, I kinda liked it. Just a little in-show reminder that through all of this, Pomni is a real, grown-ass woman stuck inside some digital Hell. The whole first episode, we see her wallowing and panicking, justifiably so. Finally, we get to see her grow more serious and stable.

Through the episode, we see more of her being a good character and becoming more at terms with her situation. I'll touch on this more soon.

Gangle

My girl CANNOT catch a break. Gangle is such a funny character and so, so sweet. She's level-headed in my opinion, even through her emotions. She seems to have a good grip on the shit happening around her but has a hard time communicating properly because she has a lot of feelings going on. Me too, honey, me too.

Even in the face of violence, danger, and overall shitfuckery, she doesn't shut down. Sure, she cries. But I've cried plenty of times while still holding the fort down. I think I just relate to her.

Lastly, I NEED to know what this means like I need oxygen.

Government Mandated Shipping

I dunno man, I just really liked this. I'm a shipper at heart. I've been writing fanfic since middle school. I saw pure fanfic material when I watched this scene.

Kinger and Raggs

This scene made me smile. It's a cute nod towards how Kinger is the longest-standing character and, according to some lost post of Goose's, Ragatha is the second. Plus, all of episodes one and two, we see her trying so hard to be a rock for Pomni. She tries to include everyone, keep everyone cheerful, and be a stable constant in a realm of chaos; Seeing Kinger recognize how far she's come and using that to bring her back to reason was just so refreshing. Ragatha deserves more appreciation like that: less about what she does for others, and more about what she's done for herself.

Jax's Disappointment

So we don't know much about Jax besides how Goose loves him and says he's an asshole who may or may not be irredeemable. When he started talking about violence and getting excited at the thought, I chalked it up to him being an ass. But it struck me just how much this mattered to Jax in this scene. I have questions, man. But I'm about to go on a wild tangent, so hear me out.

Jax is happy when being destructive. He gets immediately upset when things go well. And in the circus, we can assume that there have been a lot of traumatic, wild things that have occurred. I wonder if the chaos, the violence, is a comfort for Jax because of those traumatic experiences. As a person with trauma, I've learned that there's a funny cycle that I and other traumatized people experience.

We don't like the situations we're in, but when faced with normalcy, it's so much scarier than the damaging situation we come from. So, we run from 'normal' back into the suffocating arms of our traumatizing situations for comfort. Going back to the situation means more trauma, more trauma means a harder time finding peace in a safe, normal environment, which means more trauma... you get the picture.

So am I saying a fictional purple bunny is using violence in a digital realm to cope with the very real topic of trauma? Maybe. Yes. Yes, I am. This is how I cope.

Depression, Finding Your Place, and the Bigger Picture

Now you may be saying, "hey! You skipped over some major scenes to talk about silly stuff! What gives?"

Well, as the title of this post suggests, I had some heavier stuff to address in this episode and wanted to compile it all in one section. So that meant skipping over a scene to bunch it in with other ones. I'll break it down.

Depression

Let me begin with the fact that I have been diagnosed with depression for years now. I've been hospitalized for it and I've had family members struggle with it around me. This heavily influenced how I viewed this episode and specifically this scene.

Gummigoo had a perfectly reasonable reaction to seeing the perfect replica of him that is his model. Seeing something like that would shatter your world, and we see that happen to him immediately.

But when Gummigoo talked to Pomni and asked why anything matters, it gave me this really familiar feeling. Thoughts of being nothing, of feeling meaningless, the mere idea of being an obstacle--I've experienced all of these. I'm sure others have. Pomni was right when she said it's normal. Everyone has felt down from time to time.

But what Gummigoo is talking about really hit home with my depression. Thoughts like these, especially when they linger for long, change how you view the world. Everything is tinted blue and desaturated. You feel empty and eventually, so does the world around you. You feel like when the party is over and everyone leaves, you disappear--or you think you should, at least.

"Why are you trying to cheer me up? How does this benefit you at all?"

And it's so, so hard to accept help when feeling like this. Depression is a bitch in the way that it wants you to stay depressed. It feels like everyone around you wants you to feel better because it is a convenience for them. It almost feels transactional if you smile.

But Pomni says it so beautifully; "I guess I just don't want you to feel like you're nothing. I don't want anybody to feel like that."

The way she says it makes me feel like she knows the feeling too, and in reality, she says she does understand in a way how Gummigoo feels. But that? That made it real for me. I don't know why. This whole scene, the entrapment and loneliness despite not actually being alone, just embodied how I've felt for years. What amazing writing.

Finding Your Place

This scene was really the cherry on top of everything I just spoke about. We see that these two understand each other, at least as much as they can. They recognize all of this, it's ridiculous. They're hurtling through space into the unknown, hoping everything works out. They may feel empty, but they're not alone. They've got each other, for better or worse. Maybe they don't know where they belong in this liminal space, but they know where they stand in each other's minds.

And then we get this ending scene. God. Fuck.

I knew that there was obviously something to that dream Pomni had in the beginning, but somehow I didn't expect this to be the conclusion to it. I guess I was too distracted by everything else. So when I got to this shot, I got all warm and teary-eyed.

Pomni finally feels like she's got a pack, a place in this digital circus. When you don't feel mentally alone anymore, there seems to be a weight that's lifted off your shoulders. It doesn't cure the sadness, but at least you know that if you need to be picked up, someone will be there. Depression wants you to be alone, but it just lost that battle. The internet has said it best: A win is a win.

The Bigger Picture

We all know where the end of the road is. How we get there is the mystery. This thought can really make a person feel small, especially when depression comes in to tell you that you in fact are small, according to the chemicals in your brain. But the power of numbers and knowing your place in the world makes facing the unknown a little easier.

I'll be honest, the words are kinda lost on me at this point. Our demise is a really hard topic to broach. I've lost a lot of people, especially some major players in my life (shoutout to the Dead Dads club), and still, I don't understand it all. But the best way I can explain it is through my own experience and how I applied it to this episode.

I had for a long time gone through life trying to prepare and prepare. I played the role of the strong, unaffected individual after being hardened by trauma in childhood. I didn't want to be outwardly emotional, because if I was I would have to admit defeat.

It made me feel weak, especially when my depression would whisper nasty things to me about my self-worth. The bigger picture at that time didn't even exist in my mind. I lived to serve and die. It was no way to live.

Only recently, with time, a couple grippy sock vacays and therapy have I started to form my own, new big picture. At the center of this is my interactions with others. Family, friends, and strangers, all of them are affected by my actions. Even during the days when I feel worthless or alone, I remind myself that even the little things I do have a spiderweb effect. I have worth, more so than serving others or being some obstacle. I can simply walk down the street and perhaps I'll be the person who some kid looks at and hopes to look like when they're older. My existence is so much more than just a give-and-take situation with everyone around me.

It felt like Pomni found her purpose in the circus, and it was more than just playing along until the end. Rather, it was to befriend the people around her who have proved in one way or another way that they care. Abstraction wasn't in vain to them. Lives mattered, and therefore so did Pomni.

In a vast, digital world where chaos looms like a grey cloud, Pomni always mattered. She just had to realize how, and it was much more than being an obstacle or a pawn. And so do we, I think.

[sidekick-hero]

Until I found you

(steddie | 1.5k | mature | AO3 | Collection with wedding fics)

My dearest @thefreakandthehair, you were the first person I really interacted with in this fandom and your Winter Challenge was the reason I wrote my very first ST fanfic. You have a special place in my heart Lex and I am so glad, that I and all the others, were able to show you how much you mean to us with our wedding gifts.

I wish you and Billiam a life filled with love and happiness and the knowledge that you found something special within each other 💜

Most of the time, Eddie doesn’t mind being poor. Hell, he grew up with no money to his name, and as with so many things, you can't really miss what you've never had.

But sometimes he wishes that he wasn't.

Not even for himself, but for Steve. Because Steve? Steve knows what he's missing.

Before he came out to his parents, involuntarily, when they caught them making out on the floor of their living room, and they kicked him out of their house and their family, Steve had money. He could buy anything he wanted and never had to worry about affording rent and groceries.

Now, Eddie and Steve were living together in a small but cozy apartment in Indianapolis with their cats, Merry and Pippin. Steve was studying to be an EMT, and Eddie was working as a bartender where his band played regularly. They got by just fine, even though most of their furniture was second-hand, and they went grocery shopping on a weekly budget.

Their life was good. Perfect, in fact, if you asked Eddie. They had everything they needed, especially each other, which was the most important thing, a fact Steve never tired of reminding him of.

But that never stopped Eddie from wanting to give Steve more. Steve deserved the world and Eddie hated that he couldn't give it to him. He couldn't even give him the honeymoon he deserved.

If he's honest, he still can't believe Steve said yes. Especially after Eddie proposed at the worst possible time. Not during sex, which would have been bad, but not the worst. No, he proposed during a fight.

Steve was yelling at him, probably about something inane because he was tired and frustrated at the time, Eddie doesn’t even remember. And all he could think was that he would do anything to have Steve yell at him and smile at him and kiss him and tease him for the rest of his life.

"If you don't care, fine, but some of us —"

"Marry me."

"What - are you kidding me?"

"No, I have never been more serious in my life. Marry me, Steve."

"Are you asking me to marry you so I’ll stop yelling at you? Because I won't."

"Oh, I know. You don't have to. Just say yes before you go on?"

Steve had stopped yelling at him after that, too busy kissing him. They fucked right there on their kitchen floor, and Steve bitched about it the whole next day when his knees hurt. It was perfect.

Eddie wants their honeymoon to be just as perfect. But even though his uncle pitched in as much as he could, their wedding ate up what little savings they had. So instead of going to a beach somewhere and enjoying the sight of his husband in nothing but his swim trunks and lathering his gorgeous skin in sunscreen, they stayed home.

"Come on, it's not that bad. You know us. We wouldn't have left the hotel room anyway." Steve tries to cheer him up as Eddie sulks on their bed, wiggling his eyebrows in the way he knows makes Eddie laugh every time. It has the desired effect when Eddie snorts, but the thought of letting Steve down still lingers on his mind.

"Seriously, Eds. I know we don't have much right now, but we can always go on vacation together later. Right now, I really want to enjoy some quality time with my husband. So could you please tell him to stop moping?"

It's said with a teasing smile, so Eddie knows that Steve isn't really annoyed with him. But he's right, this is their honeymoon, even if they have to spend it at home. He shouldn't sit around and mope. He's failing at being a husband. He should probably prepare himself for the inevitable moment when Steve realizes that too and asks him for a divorce. Maybe they can at least stay friends. The thought hurts, a pang in his chest that he knows has nothing on how much the real thing would hurt. Like a supernova imploding in his chest, a black hole that would suck the life out of him. But he would try anyway. Not right away, but maybe someday, because Eddie can't imagine a life without Steve in it, even if it won't be the way he hoped it would be —

"I see you spiraling from here, Eddie."

Steve's voice is soft, as is his touch, as he cups Eddie's cheek with the palm of his hand. When Eddie looks up into his eyes, they are soft as well, filled with nothing but love. They look exactly the same as they did when Steve said "I do.” Just before he kissed Eddie with so much tenderness that Eddie could feel it in his toes.

"I just want to make you happy, Stevie. I don't want to disappoint you."

It's painfully honest, but they both worked hard at being honest with each other. Even when they screw up or when they think it might hurt the other. Honesty is the foundation on which they built their relationship, along with trust, respect, and, of course, love. And fantastic sex.

Steve smiles at him, and something about the look on his face actually brings tears to Eddie's eyes and his heart clenches in his chest. Fuck. He never thought you could love someone so much that it physically hurts until he met Steve. "I know, baby. I know. Wanna know a secret?"

Eddie hums and presses a small kiss to Steve's palm. Steve's thumb reaches up to gently stroke his cheekbones, wiping away the wetness that has begun to gather. "You make me happy every day in so many ways."

Steve kisses the tender skin under Eddie's eye, first left, then right. "When I wake up in the morning, way before you, sleepyhead, and you always kiss me, even when you're not awake yet."

He kisses Eddie's nose next, adding a little nip to the tip that makes Eddie smile. "When you text me throughout the day, just to share your thoughts and hear mine. Just to show me you were thinking about me."

Next, Steve's lips find Eddie's forehead, lingering, pressing his love into Eddie's skin, wanting it to get through Eddie's thick skull. "When you come home after a long shift, tiptoeing through the apartment, and making a ruckus anyway because you couldn't be quiet to save your life. And you slide into bed next to me, wrap me up in your arms, kiss the side of my face, and tell me you love me.”

Finally, Steve kisses him on the lips, first taking his upper lip between his own, then his lower, before slowly dragging his tongue along the seam. Eddie opens his mouth and Steve's tongue slips in, just like that, just a tease, not as a prelude to anything, but because he can. Because what's Eddie's is his and what's Steve's is Eddie's. Everything he has and everything he is belongs to Steve. His husband.

"You made me the happiest man in the world when you asked me to marry you. When you said yes in front of our friends, our family." Steve whispers in the minimal space between their lips, and Eddie sniffles, too happy to be embarrassed.

"I love you, Stevie. So goddamn much." Another kiss, as gentle as the last.

Steve pulls away, both hands cupping Eddie's face, his thumbs wiping away the last of the tears. "I love you too. So how about we start with the whole honeymoon business, huh?"

"What do you have in mind?"

Steve's smile is sweet, innocent, but Eddie knows his husband well enough to see the gleam in his eyes. He's in for a treat, his stomach fluttering in anticipation.

"Well," Steve begins, letting go of Eddie's face to tap his chin, "I thought we'd take our mattress into the living room, put it in front of the TV and put on Lord of the Rings. Extended Edition." The words sound like music to his ears, the perfect way to spend the day in his book, but it's hardly a gift for the two of them.

Steve is not finished, however. "That's 686 minutes. Wanna show me how many times you can make me come in 11 hours?"

Standing up so fast he almost knocks Steve over, Eddie pulls Steve into a deep, heated kiss. "Marry me, Steve."

Steve laughs. "I already did, stupid. I take it you like the idea?"

"I love it. Almost as much as you." They kiss again, unable to keep their hands off each other.

Eddie wonders if the impromptu blowjob that follows on their bed can be added to the final count at the end of the day. If so, it's nine times. Not bad at all, if he says so himself.

Steve seems to agree as they cuddle on the couch, both naked, satiated and sleepy, their legs intertwined and Steve's head resting on Eddie's chest, their mattress beyond saving ("Good thing the new one gets delivered tomorrow.").

"Are you happy, Stevie?"

"Never been happier in my life, Mr. Munson-Harrington."

[flowerandblood]

I'm back

And I'm back with my oneshot with Michael Gavey. He fucking came back from the dead. Some can call it resurrection.

I needed these 24 hours just for myself to think about why I was writing at all and why I was doing it.

To talk about it with my husband who, as always, knowing me inside out, said that I didn't deserve to have my work and commitment here wasted by people who don't have the courage to write to me under their own nickname.

Just to be clear - it doesn't matter when or if any of you would read my oneshot. When, why or if you will do it is neither something to feel guilty nor proud of, like reading or not anything I wrote or will write.

I remind you that's my space, not yours. Anon asks stays off, because I know who you really are.

Cowards.

From now on, I will be much stricter about what other people "opinion" should and should not be.

I will block anyone, anons, writers or readers, who cannot watch their words - even if it's on your blogs, in your asks, comments, reblogs or statements - I don't want to see any ironic, hurtful bullshit on my wall anymore.

I will block them, but I will never nag them. I just don't need them in my life, in my space. Learn from me, anon haters. I hope me coming back is your stick in the ass and not in the pleasurable way.

I don't care if you think I'm a sweet and innocent author with no flaws - I'm not. I've never been. I don't care about maintaining this image either.

Yes, I can't stand anons who send me and other authors baseless criticism. They were and will remain my enemies. I will never be nice to them, because by hiding they lose the last of my respect.

However, I have never been and will never be unpleasant to people who ask me thoughtful questions with the respect that one person can and should expect from another. Usually it's not about the question itself, but about how it was asked.

Writing anonymously to others that you wish their pets to die, that it's good that they lost their child, or to me that I don't really love my husband and I'm cheating on him because I write fanfics is not the smartest idea.

You are just sad, jealous idiots.

Now.

A few of people here are trying to keep this sticky tape glued fandom from falling apart and I sincerely admire them: @ewanmitchellcrumbs @targaryenrealnessdarling @oneeyedvisenya @theoneeyedprince @valeskafics @black-dread

This fandom doesn't deserve you, but there you are.

+ I wanted to say 'thank you' to all of the writers who just reached me to say that they are sorry, to say that I have a right to write whatever I want. Do what I want without being judged.

Finally, I cannot help but mention the wave of anonymous and non-anonymous messages from my fans, to which I apologize for not responding. I've read them all.

Many of you came out of the shadows and wrote to me for the first time, showing me how much my stories mean to you. Thank you for all the memes, photos, drawings and words of comfort, very long and very short messages.

If it weren't for you, if it weren't for my husband who told me that I needed a break - not to destroy everything I created, I would have deleted this account a few days ago. He said that I should care more about my own mental comfort, which I intend to do.

I deleted my Discord account to withdraw from the fandom a bit and to put what happened behind me. I don't have good emotions right now that I could share with you in these groups, which you deserve. I don't want to be a ghost account there.

If you want to talk to me or explain something, you can reach me in private messages.

So. Karawana jedzie dalej, as we say in Poland. Those who want to be tagged, please let me know here or privately.

I don't know when I will publish my other works, but I will.

Welcome back.

[torchstelechos]

just saw you saying you want to talk about The Characters (isat) what are some thoughts you got bip bap boppin around in the noggin about the Them

Ooooooooohhhh Anon,,,, Ooooooh, You have unlocked deep thoughts and long monologues.... have this piece of bullshit that I spat out in excitement

Isabeau: 

Ah yes, dear Isabeau, my most beloathed <3 (self recognition in other /derogatory). He’s one of the characters I’ve written the most meta for that's actually about his character in the game. I love him and hate him in equal measures but that's not what I want to talk about today! I want to discuss his morbid humor and fascination, I suppose. Also his rather interesting character type and how that's displayed in the game, specifically through his morbid thoughts and discussion choices. 

In the game we see plenty of times that Isabeau uses morbid word choices (killed them so that I could live friendquest quote) and brings up morbid discussion topics (what do we do if you die? What do we do if Bonnie dies?) that the others find disquieting. He also laughs at Siffrin’s time traveler joke, finds scary Siffrin attractive, and finds being paid attention too enough that they can harm you attractive. This brings me to my main point, which is that Isabeau is the cold scientist archetype character that tries to be the himbo fighter character. Of course we know that hes trying to hide himself behind the himbo character type, but the fact that he's analytic to a fault, morbid in almost every way, finds scary things attractive, and calls Changing killing his past self… this man is very much a scientist that was about to turn evil but decided friendship was the answer whose character was subverted into himbo fighter because those who are dumb are more liked than those who know things. It's interesting, and I think it’s one of the reasons I despise Isabeau POV fanfics. Most fanfics feel almost like his facade is him, and thats just not true and it bugs me so very much to read fanfics with his POV now. But! This isnt to say those fanfics aren’t well done! They are, I just find them lacking in canon Isabeau’s almost neutral analytical personality that was then filtered through therapy and self help books esque vibe. Fascinating character, hate him dearly for it though. 

Misc thoughts: 

I generally have a hard time nailing down everything I feel about him for a variety of reasons but I do want to say that I think he finds Siffrin’s big melt down appearance attractive after the whole thing blows over. I also think he doesn't have the best track record for what is okay to say or not? So he falls back on “I am dumb therefore I can say things that others find disturbing and frame it as something I just don't understand or misunderstood :)” which kind of backfires on him constantly because now no one really takes him seriously? I don’t know, I just find most smart characters have a hard time figuring out the social situation of certain things so they tend to either not care at all for tact or overthink everything and over compensate by not allowing themself to go for certain things. In this instance its him not being able to confess because he thinks he's bad for liking someone in a certain way and doesn't want to pressure them which backfires because he's otherwise a good communicator but failed hard with Siffrin. Speaking of, I don’t think hes ever gotten with anyone other than Siffrin. It took the world literally almost ending and a time looping induced trauma attack for him to confess he liked Siffrin, this man does NOT have game. So, lol, that kiss? Probably his first <3, RIP my man did not deserve that

Odile:

Strangely enough I don’t believe I have ever written a meta post for Odile? Or anything about her other than tags? So yeah, let's focus on her. She's a very honesty based character in a game literally about someone not being able to speak the truth, which is why I appreciate the sus route so much. She noticed something was wrong and went for it, leading her down rabbit holes best left untouched. Odile is a character that I truly think would have accidentally unleashed an eldritch horror on the quest if not for Isabeau stopping her. Mainly because she is smart but not academic smart, she's learned from her travels plenty of things that lend to real life experience but she's not much of an academic when it comes to how to get answers she wants (taking until the very last town to get a familytale while Siffrin took maybe three loops to do is. Certainly something!). Its fascinating, because if I were to actually describe her personality and how that lends to a character archetype I would say that she's a brawler character. Effectively, she and Isabeau are reflections of each other in a very specific way and I think about this often in her relation to the group. Its almost laughable how shes been put into this responsibility role of the group while Isabeau is off goofing around (and secretly plotting how to best respect his friends remains), shes not very good at knowing what is the best course of action and acts out in impulsive ways that harms others (Looking at you, hitting Trauma Big Siffrin moment) and that doesn’t… make her a good leader per say? I just find it funny, how others write her as someone who would go out of her way to research Siffrin’s home country and succeed when she barely succeeded in her own knowledge hunt. If anything, it would be Isabeau who would find the information and inform Odile rather than the other way round. I dunno, I just don’t think anyone is really considering the fact that she probably hasn’t set foot into a higher academic institution just based on her research skills. 

Misc thoughts: 

I’ve only seen one fanfic acknowledge the fact that Odile hit Siffrin? And did so in such a way that it hurt badly. I wouldn’t be surprised if it left a scar (which that little freak probably adores because he knows that it means he wont forget Odile ever again), alongside the others they gave themself. Speaking of said hurting, I don’t think it's really acknowledged how much Odile puts down Siffrin? Yes it's usually just a teasing moment here or there, but have yall thought of the fact that she compared Siffrin to an animal and has hit him? I think about this so much. I think about it when I'm trying to fall asleep sometimes. She did that to him, and he *remembers it,* he acknowledges it during act 5, he has that ingrained into his *soul.* I think people should write about it more, or at least acknowledge that Siffrin probably… doesn’t want to talk to Odile about feelings or be touched by her for a while? Honestly, if I was Siffrin’s position during the failed friendquest moments? I would have said worse. I would have done worse. Because can you imagine? Imagine with me, you just remembered that your country is gone, everyone you love either doesnt remember you or is dead, the only person who could possibly tell you anything is the man you must kill, and your family member is talking about how hard it is to be in the country her mother is from and not feel a connection to it. That you are both more than your heritage. I would start biting, kicking, fighting, hell I would probably find out what she looks like without her bun! I would be pissed. But yaknow, Siffrin is a nice fella and kind of only waited to go off the deep end when they were sure they wouldn’t be able to escape. Anyway, I think of Odile sometimes and get violently ill by the knowledge she no longer holds that would explain some of Siffrin’s reactions and word choices to her cause no matter what? She can’t take it back. She never even said it. It’s not even real anymore. God I love this game, it makes me feel sick.

Mirabelle: 

Big ol’ sigh, yeah the-bitter-ocean if your out there I think about your tags on my Mira post a lot. The fandom doesn’t really get her do they? Most of the time I see people write her off as not very understanding or oblivious to other people’s feelings, which fair for romance (she didnt notice the very glowing sign of what I believe to be a ginger blushing but yaknow I understand as aro) but shes very good at knowing when someone isn’t feeling well? She has several unique dialogue options after Siffrin gets up from the field after looping which Odile does not have (despite EVERYONE ACKNOWLEDGING THEY’RE NOT OKAY), and asks after their wellbeing despite being in a constant anxiety attack and morality stress issues induced panic attack in the house. The only real big character flaw is a very typical shonen main character flaw which is that she is too trusting to a degree that it let Siffrin get away with almost destroying the world, Bonnie dying, and the others stepping all over her own feelings (not that any of these are her fault, but she did contribute to the lack of communication which lead to the loops. I love her, I do, but EVERYONE had a hand in Siffrin getting stuck in the loops). Her trust is also what led to the big fallout and slap she gives Siffrin during act 5, she was already giving her heart to him and the others and was constantly checking in during the adventure to make sure everyone was happy and okay with what was happening so the sudden switch from her POV is a huge betrayal of her trust in them. This is basically someone you were already on edge about hating you suddenly deciding that yes, they do hate you and everything you stand for because *they know.* No matter what you think about the situation, Mirabelle’s trust (her biggest character flaw) was thrown back into her face after she thought they were okay with her (not even a few weeks ago they said that this was the happiest they have ever been and she *remembers this fully and utterly*) and broke her heart with all her insecurities. It’s a very hopeless situation when you don’t have context, which means I don’t really blame her for slapping Siffrin, I just wish that it didn’t happen because as a Player I know the full context. Betrayal of trust… its a funny thing in this game, because it wasn’t a betrayal specifically from one POV but from the other it was. Fascinating! I despise it, I love it, it makes me sick. 

Misc Thoughts: 

Oooooh Mira we are in it now, This endgame of yours has left you with insecurities and trauma you didn’t think possible. I love her, I do, which is why I also have a great idea for a fanfic that involves her getting some VERY bad coping mechanisms <3 teehee. Careful what you wish for darling! Things go bad if you don’t take care of what you love. Anyway, I don’t think it’s weird to have Mira in outfits that are contrasting too heavily from her personality in the game? I dont know how to say this, but I think it’s a tad strange that I’ve seen roleswap aus/personality swap aus where Mirabelle is different via aesthetic? Because thats her whole religion? Sure she doesnt want to change but I don’t think she minds much clothing or aesthetic wise? In fact i think she considers that the safest option? So I dunno, I think people should dress her in goth and emo outfits more. Also I do think its a tad silly people don’t focus too much on her journey trauma and rather focus on her romance trauma, yall know that was just a distraction and not her main issues, right? Like yall know this game isnt romance the simulator, right???? RIGHT???? God Mira, you would hate that the fandom boils you down to your AceAroness, I just fucking know it. 

Bonnie: 

Who let this sassy small child into this story???? God, dearest Bonnie, the literal best party member Imo. I love them dearly, they are one of the meanest fucking assholes in the game I adore them. Yall think about the longstanding issues Siffrin has with touch and reaching out and how the rotten adults route fucking annihilates them into smithereens lol. I think about the fact that Bonnie has harmed Siffrin soooo much in the loops, it leaves me breathless because this small child has killed Siffrin twice, slapped their hands away when they tried to help them (for the first time in Bonnies POV!! Thats huge!!), and yelled at them multiple times about how awful they are. I do wonder what would have happened if the rotten adults route continued without looping? Who would have spoken up and who would have had to realize that something is WRONG with Siffrin in that moment? Would Bonnie backpedal when they realize? What was Siffrin’s facial expression right then? What happened? I just. God. Fuck. No one talks about this AT ALL in the fandom and it drives me insane. Despite everything, despite what was erased, what was unmade, the effects stayed and will continue to harm Siffrin. Do yall think about the idea that Siffrin probably doesnt reach out until Bonnie does post loops? I think about this so much, Bonnie has harmed Siffrin so many times it would kill them if they ever found out, and I desperately need them to find out. I also kind of,, just assumed that Bonnie would be keeping a keen eye on Siffrin’s eating and remind them to eat and drink water (even if I dont think Siffrin needs that) after the loops because its an easy way to help and have some control over situations? I dunno, I think Bonnie is a very complicated kid who has harmed and been harmed and no one will ever know just how much has been done and undone. 

Misc Thoughts: 

I still think Bonnie should be able to make and throw bombs post bomb memory. I just NEED Bonnie to throw a molotov at the King, fuck, it would be so funny. Also as a side note, I do think growing up Bonnie has to deal with a lot of untreated Trauma and probably reacts very similar to Siffrin before someone comments on the fact that they are just like him and suddenly they start going to a therapist about it, I do not think they would take it as a compliment for even one instance. They would get sick so fast and go, me and them? Similar? No. I have to go to get a doctor. I cannot be a Frin Jr. the world could not handle it. And suddenly they have the second best mental health of the group (first goes to Isabeau because Isabeau was already in therapy before the game, I just fucking know it <3) which makes everyone fucking jealous as hell because seriously? The Kid??? Damnit. But yeah I do think the fastest way anyone could get Bonnie to accept help is to compare them to Siffrin because they do have a Recognition of Self in the Other (derogatory) thing going on with Siffrin in the game, which is probably worse by the fact that they grew up with him as a role model. Everyone that knows them is like, oh my change your so lucky! The saviors are your family that must be so cool <3, and Bonnie is like. They make me to go to bed on time and force me to eat veggies what the fuck are you saying. Anyway yeah I love Bonnie so much, the meanest fucking kid in the game <3. 

Siffrin: 

Aaauuuggghhhhh, the one everyone is waiting for, the Siff of the Frin. Love this fucking idiot, but yeah lets talk touch and how the family has hurt them over the loops <3. Okay so straight out the gate, Bad touch! Isabeau pushing them away after they kiss him, which is very understandable because yaknow Isabeau could tell that was a desperation kiss and is not okay for either of them but! Holy shit! Siffrin, my dear friend that was probably the worst thing you could have done, but yeah that did leave its marks deeply in them so I will mark that down as harmed. Then we get the bad friendquests, which yeah Isabeau hitting them with the “I thought you were also trying” hurts more than I can physically say, but we’ll mark that down as two. Then Odile hits them, grabs their collar, sus quest bullshit, and general disdain for Siffrin lying about the stars we’ll mark down as four more which leads to six. Mirabelle slapping Siffrin and letting him get away with lying about his health we’ll put at 8. Bonnie pushing him into a tear, pineapple, slapping hands away, and yelling at them multiple times we’ll put at 12. Then there's the “like taming a wild animal” teasing which Ill put at 13, all of which is just off the top of my brain and I know there's more moments that hurt Siffrin deeply. Yaknow, looking at this, typing this, it seems a tad silly but. How else could I describe the never ending pain at knowing that most of these wont be acknowledged as bad for Siffrin as it was bad for the others? I dunno, I think about Siffrin giving everything up for the party and no one knowing exactly what they did because how could they? It’s gone. It’s not real anymore, not until Siffrin says it. I just. I dont know where I’m going with this but Siffrin as a character hurts me deeply, and I think it’s because no matter what happens Siffrin refuses to acknowledge when the others hurt him back. Just. Keeping the cycle going because they dont know how to break it, and they never have until they break first. I just think of this a lot. Him being stuck, in circles over and over. 

Misc Thoughts: 

I wanna chew him up and spit him out like a dog toy. No further comments (see my blog for further comments). ((I need to see a Self inflicted Achromatic animatic, pls, fuck plsssss))

LOOP: 

Loop time!! Loop time! I am physically ill because of this beast. You all know that one fanart where it says “You Won!” and Loop is dry heaving? Thats me at literally any moment when I think about Loop. 

I am a little shy to admit though that I didn’t catch their facade at first, mainly because I’m not very good at catching things like that at first? If a person acts a certain way, thats how they act! So Yeah, ya boy was confused by two hats lol. But afterwards I did do a bit of thinking and as I mentioned in a previous post i do think Loop is pretending/acting like how they remembered Siffrin acted like before the loops. Mira mentions that Siffrin is mean in teasing, enough so that it might have hurt if she didnt know that it was friendly teasing. Isabeau has a great monologue about his feelings on Siffrin before the loops, and Siffrin themself acknowledges some of their less than savory traits before the loops during the loops as well. This is to say, Loop is a fucking prick that tries to be floating and teasing in their comments while hitting where it hurts in just the right way that they can pretend that they mean something else. I genuinely think thats how Loop remembers themself before they were Loop, even if they got some things VERY WRONG. Of course, by the time they realize this it’s too late and that’s their personality now, which is kind of fucked up when you realize how much of their personality is them acting out a half remembered person who died many many many loops ago. But alas, such is the way of Loop. 

Also if we think about Loop in comparison to Siffrin. Well. We get an interesting picture. But the thought makes me too ill to continue. But I will say loving someone so much you destroy yourself for them… I don't think anyone in the family would be happy about that really. Theres a difference between destroying yourself and destroying the world… I wonder why that is for them, what made the difference between self and the world. A fool, and the world. Hmm. Interesting. Anyway, Loop’s facade gets me everytime and I want to use them as a stuffed animal. 

Misc Thoughts: 

Yeah that STAR CAN NOT EAT OR DRINK, lol get rekted they cant even fucking get drunk. Now for some HCs, I do think that Loop would wear a promise ring, even if no one in this Vaugarde understands what that means. I just. Think that Loop wouldn’t be able to let go of Their Fighter. Hahaha! I don’t really wanna go further into detail about this rn but I AM THINKING… Loop is one of the saddest characters I have ever fucking had the audacity to love. No I will not take comments on this further lol. (Me loving Loop and Siffrin while disliking Isabeau? Call me an Isabeau Kinnie at the rate lol)

[pictureinme]

hii i loved your kitten fanfic 🤍 i was wondering if you would be open to write some fluff for her ? maybe comforting her after everything she’s been through and giving her the love she deserves bcs she’s so underrated tbh 😫

of course! thank you for your patience, this definitely sparked a lot more ideas 4 me, so here's a short but sweet thang :-) don't worry, this isn't the last fluff you're gonna get of us taking care of kitten <3

plea for tenderness

patricia 'kitten' braden x f!reader word count: ~600 tags: pure domestic fluff, established relationship

ao3

The candles lit all around your shared living room bring an almost stifling atmosphere of comfort and romance, but it was truly just the way Kitten liked to light your home. The scent of roses and vanilla permeated the air, and the cool breeze from the window made you sigh happily.

She stretches as the two of you lay on a chaise lounge, tucked away in the corner. Her pink slip rides up on her legs, and you can’t help but think how lucky you are to be with her. Besides her obviously beautiful looks, her passion inspires you. The strength this woman had to have and continues to hold is divine at best.

Kitten catches you staring at her perfect form, and cocks her head, “See something you like, pretty?”

“Always, my love,” you smile widely and kiss her hand, “I’m just thinking, that’s all.”

“Hmm, about what we should make for dinner? I was thinkin’ chips, but that’s as far as I got.”

You laugh softly, “Your idea is as golden as ever, but I’m thinking about you, Kitten.”

She smiles and leans down to be next to you proper, “You flatter me, love. What’s on your mind exactly?”

Kitten begins to trace shapes on your bare arms, leaving goosebumps in her wake. You breathe in her signature Chanel scent, feeling it wash over your senses. You admire her like no other.

“Your beauty, your passion… your strength. You absolutely astound me, darling.”

Her head falls back in a loud laugh, reverberating throughout her body, “You’re such a sap! All I’ve done is sit here, and you say such sweet things.”

Eyes crinkling as you smile, you whisper to her, “I mean it, truly, Kitten. All these stories you’ve told me, I know you embellish every now and then, but you…”

You brush a blonde curl away from her face, “You’ve been through hell and back, and I just can’t believe you’re still so you.”

She begins to wrap her arms around you in a loose embrace and sighs softly, “I do tend to embellish, don’t I?”

“And I love it, you’re the best storyteller in this country,” she kisses your forehead as you speak, “You’ve been through it all, but you remain so optimistic. I wish I could have that superpower.”

As you whisper that last part, Kitten looks at you sadly, “Lover, it isn’t a superpower. Life is just too short to waste on silly little things like the past.”

You sit up, looking into her blue eyes, “I know that, but you make it seem so easy! I know that behind the scenes, it isn’t… but I cannot say enough just how proud I am of you, Kitten.”

She smiles, looking anywhere but your eyes, “You’re too good to me, (Y/N).”

“God, you really are a saint, aren’t you?” Shaking your head, you cup her cheek in your hand, “I’m not too good to you, darling. This is what love is supposed to be.”

She meets your gaze, eyes glistening in the dim light, “You’re an angel, aren’t you?”

Before you can even think of responding, she closes the gap and kisses you with the most gentle kiss imaginable. You smile into the kiss, still holding her face in your hand. The two of you become an entanglement of limbs, never once separating your respective lips. The idea of leaving to catch a breath seemed terrible, preposterous at best.

Despite that, Kitten inhales deeply as you two find yourself lacking oxygen.

“I love you, my (Y/N).”

You both share a look that can only be described as pure dedication, “I love you, my Kitten.”

[stazvlt]

NottPott Fanfics Rec Lists

After checking my bookmarks and the tags on ao3 i'm proudly present to you the nottpott fanfictions recommendation. TW: Please check / read the tags. Some of this fics touch a very heavy subject and it might not be your cup of tea.

Shadow magic by Lomonaaeren (Series- 73000 words total) AU.

Harry was born with a power the Dark Lord knows not: the magic to see into shadows, to walk the shadows, and to send the shadows everywhere. This changes his life rather dramatically.

Harry is very independent in this one. If you'd like to see Harry as a morally grey and powerful lord with a very devoted Theo this is your fics.

Enough is Enough by AnonymousMagpie (33k words)

In the spring of 1992, a massive magical discharge shakes Lily Potter’s legacy. Harry Potter, its raison d’être, nearly dies. It has until now been a passive enchantment, reactive, and burns away his attacker only once violent physical contact has been made. But the backlash is enormous. The protection is disrupted. For the first time since the day of its creation it must strain to the utmost. And it determines that Harry Potter is wildly, systematically unsafe.It reacts.

Gryffindor and Slytherin Inter house relationship, and many more!! Nottpott might not be the focus here but it deserve the place on this list on the base of it being very fun to read.

Clearly Granger Will Be the Brains of This Operation by Dart (2k words)

Someone has got to save Potter, so he can save the world. ~or~ Nott and Potter sitting in an BMW, S-N-A-R-K-I-N-G

Theodore nott kidnapping Harry Potter. Do i need to say more?

Another Way We Are Not Alone by thealmostrhetoricalquestion (15k words)

Theo barges his way into the afterlife to demand assistance from the Master of Death. And apparently fall deeply in love with him while he's at it.

The bonding here is Amazing. The banter, The journey, The Sentient Boat. 15k words of Nottpott bonding.

The Heir to the House of Prince by elph13 (series - 1.136 000 words)

Summer of 4th year and Harry's all alone, dealing with his grief and the sudden revelation that James Potter is not his father. Support comes in a strange form. The form of Theo Nott, son of a death Eater. A strange friend who says he'll help him find his true father, whoever this Lord Prince might be.

I legit didn't sleep for the entire night bcs i can't stop reading it's just that GOOD. The quality and lenght of this series are amazing. House of Prince Theo is the base of my fanon Theo. Smart, Observant, Loyal and utterly Scary. Theo who's very devoted with  his traditions. Theo who wield KNIFES. And it doesn't need to be said but Harry is also amazing in this one. He's stubborn, strong, and utterly loyal. Not Dumbledore or Sirius friendly though so i do warn you if you like both of them.

Amends by SheWhoMustNotBeNamedEver (1.6k words)

"How was my... You nearly cut me in half, Potter." Harry squinched his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose over his glasses "You're being a bit dramatic about it, don't you think?"

Harry attempt to bribe Theo's forgiveness with a curry. You can guess how that goes ;)

Round and Fluffy by CaityBell @caitybellfics (1.5k)

Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter arrive at the DMLE to retrieve their spouses.

Uhh misuse of Confundus? Jail?? Hermione and Theo friendship, Draco and Harry 10 years rivalry. Got all you need here.

The Answering Machine Message by SunsetRiot (13k)

The answer machine beeps again; someone’s going to leave him another message. He hears his voice. It sounds so alive. They sound so happy. It’s getting harder to hear his voice these days; it’s getting harder to accept that he’s gone. He wonders what the person leaving a message is saying this time; probably offering their condolences, trying to send a message of hope through a stupid muggle machine, it’s all people seem to be doing these days. He hears another beep and he knows the persons finished leaving their message. He doesn’t care. He doesn’t want words, or hope or anything. What he wants is gone. Theodore Nott is dead and Harry Potter doesn’t know how to carry on living.

We have too much fluff therefore i need to recommend some angst. It's a bleak world for Harry without Theo there.

Harry Potter and His Saving Theo Thing by Lomonaaeren (21k)

Harry can think of worse things to do than helping Theodore Nott rejoin society. And after a while, so can Theo.

Adult Harry and Theo is always fun to read especially when Harry is an Auror. Their banter is delicious on this one. One of the more ... mature fic? I don't know how to describe it but this one has different vibes than the other fics on the list. Also this list isn't complete without the two lovely NottPott fics i got as gifts from HP rare pairs last year:

Silver Surprise by @lumosatnight

Theo joins the DA in Fifth Year, much to everyone’s surprise. His corporeal Patronus leaves Harry intrigued.

A Classic DA activity. Everyone is suspicious of the one lone slytherin but not our boy Harry. So SOFT and Cute, two traumatized children bonding over patronus <3

My Favorite Colour by @sandervansunshine

Tired of the monotony and hum-drum of adulthood, Harry seeks out a new source of happiness. He finds it— this pure, unadulterated blend of peace and joy— in a flowery meadow, a cool stream, and a storyteller by the name of Theodore Nott.

Feels good fics 100%. The way they shared a secret meadow and them unashamedly being themselves without judgement. Story teller Theo stole my heart <33 That's all for now! Thank you so much for checking this list out. I would love to add more fics in this list but my spirit need recharge after i accidentally deleted the last rec list last night. Most of these authors also wrote a lot of other amazing fics!! Please check them out :D OH and feel free to reblog or comment with your favorite NottPott fics, your pal here needs more nottpott.