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roosterforme · 1 year

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The Gray Sweatpants | Rooster x Reader

Summary: For you and Bradley, sharing a home comes easily. He is always willing to put in the extra work to make you happy, and he will do it wearing his gray sweatpants and a smile.

Warnings: Fluff and smut

Length: 2100 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots! (But it can be read on its own) Check my masterlist in my profile for the reading order! Based on a request.

Living with you was an interesting change of pace for Bradley. He had gotten so used to tiny living quarters and never sharing anything. But now you were here in this big house, along with all of your colorful stuff, and your perfume, and your kitchen gadgets. And you wanted to share everything with him.

Not a day went by that you weren't wearing his clothing and using his shaving cream in the shower. And you always offered to share your food with him, holding up a sandwich or forkful of food for him to take a bite. You always seemed to be around asking about his day and giving him all of the details of yours, delivered with your own brand of wit and humor that never failed to have him wrapping his arms around you.

It was one of the first Friday nights after you moved into his house, and now it was your house, too. Every time he got to use the word "ours", it made him happy in a way he couldn't really explain.

"I was thinking we should plant a garden in the backyard," you said, feeding Bradley a bite of your dinner from your perch on his lap. You were wearing one of his Top Gun shirts and nothing else, and Bradley couldn't imagine living here without you. "I mean, San Diego kind of sucks for flowers, but we're hardy east coast people. We should have a garden."

"We would have no street cred if we didn't have sad, dying, east coast people flowers," he replied, delighting in the sound of your laughter.

"Exactly! Plus, the backyard is a little scary, Roo. I'll help you clean it up on Sunday, if you want."

"Sure, Baby Girl. We'll see."

But he had something else in mind now.

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You woke up on Saturday morning to an empty bed and groaned. Bradley knew you had particular rules concerning him staying in bed with you on Saturday mornings. And you expected a certain level of compliance.

"Bradley?" you called as you stumbled into the kitchen where you found him brewing coffee and eating some toast in just his gray sweatpants.

"Morning, Sweetheart," he rasped, but your mouth had gone dry. You must still be in bed, asleep and dreaming. That was the only way this would make sense.

You made a soft, strangled sound as Bradley reached up into the cabinet and grabbed your favorite mug. "Want some coffee?"

"Bradley," you whispered. He wasn't even wearing any underwear. You could see the outline of his cock pressing against the soft fabric as the pants hung low on his hips.

You were taking a step closer to him, ready to drop to your knees when he said, "You'll be late for brunch with Cam and Maria if you don't leave soon." You had completely forgotten about your plans.

Your eyes slid up his naked torso until they met his smirking face. "Why are you not wearing underwear?"

He suddenly looked embarrassed, cheeks flushing pink. "I actually need you to show me how to use the washing machine. I'm almost out of clean clothes. Can you show me after brunch?"

You glanced at the clock on the microwave and sighed. You didn't even have time to properly blow your boyfriend like you wanted to. "Yeah, I'll show you after I get home, Roo," you whispered, running your fingers along his length through his pants.

"Oh fuck," he grunted when you cupped him and squeezed softly. He pressed you against the edge of the counter, and you could feel him getting hard for you.

But you just stuck your chin in the air. "Next Saturday, make sure you stay in bed with me longer." You ducked out of his grasp with a grin while he groaned your name. "Oh, and I don't want to be late for brunch."

You got ready to go out, and when you passed him in the kitchen before you left, he was eating more toast and glaring at you.

"You gonna come back and take care of this later?" he grunted, gesturing to his semi.

"Sure, Roo. Right after we do your laundry," you said with a wink. He just grunted in response before you added, "And make sure you don't go out in those pants. They are indecent!"

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As soon as you were gone, Bradley thought about jerking off, but he knew he had a limited amount of time before you would be home again. So he quickly put his old sneakers on along with his aviators and traipsed out through the sliding glass door to the backyard. You weren't wrong; it was in pretty rough shape.

Bradley kicked over a faded lawn gnome and opened up the shed. He pulled out some shovels and a rake that the previous owners had left, and he got to work. An hour later, he was shocked to find that there was in fact a garden bed buried back along the privacy fence. He dug up dead plants and weird lawn ornaments, tossing everything off to the side to get taken out with the trash.

He stopped working for a minute to wipe the sweat from his brow. The sun was strong even for early December, but at least it wasn't too hot outside. And now, as he looked around, Bradley was pleased to see that the whole space looked a lot better. His girlfriend wanted a garden? Well then she would get one.

"Roo?" you called from the sliding glass door. You were grinning and heading his way with a cold water bottle. "What are you doing?"

He took the drink from your hand and downed the entire thing before he answered you. "Making the yard nicer for you. Check it out. A garden bed."

But you weren't really looking at the yard as much as you were looking at him. You wrapped your arms around his sweaty torso and kissed him. "You're so sweet."

He grinned down at you but didn't dare touch, not wanting to get your cute dress all dirty. "We can go to the nursery tomorrow and pick out some flowers if you want. We can plant them...." His word trailed off as you bit your lip and slipped your hand inside the front of his sweatpants.

"I've been thinking about this since I left for brunch." Your voice was soft and breathless as your fingers teased his length before you wrapped your small hand around his cock. "Been thinking about these gray sweatpants."

Bradley let you ease the fabric down until he was fully exposed. You were licking your lips and moaning softly. He knew exactly what that meant.

"God damn it," he groaned as you dropped to your knees on the grass in front of him. He was standing in the center of the yard, looking around to see if there was any way one of the neighbors could see what was going on. But when you kissed and licked away his precum before parting your lips and taking his tip, he decided he didn't care.

Bradley reached one big palm to the back of your head and guided you along. You took him a little deeper, looking up at him as your mouth filled up with each inch of him until your lip was brushing his coarse hairs. You gagged a bit, hollowing your cheeks as you sucked on him. "You're such a good girl. I'll give you anything you want."

You moaned around him, your tongue swirling along the underside of his entire length until you pulled him out to the tip. You kissed him sweetly and softly asked, "You know what I want, Roo?"

Bradley shook his head a little bit, dazed as you let his cock rest against your plush tongue. He was panting now and twitching as your hot breath teased his dick.

"You tell me what you want, and I'll give it to you."

You giggled and smiled up at him with half lidded eyes as your tongue caressed him. You kissed his swollen tip and nuzzled him with your nose before you said, "I want you to fuck me. Right here. In our backyard."

Bradley hauled you to your feet by grabbing your elbows. You squealed with delight, but he hushed you with one hand over your mouth. "I'll give you what you want, but you have to behave. You want our elderly neighbors calling the cops, because they think I'm back here trying to murder you?"

You groaned and licked Bradley's palm, gripping his cock with both hands. "Please, Bradley. Please make it so good that it sounds like that!"

His hand drifted down to your neck, and he led you to the side of the shed, stroking your soft skin as you practically purred for him. His hard dick bounced along, hanging out over his sweatpants as he backed you up against the small building. "Okay."

-----------------------

You were so turned on for him, and you blamed it all on his sweatpants. He had no idea what he was capable of in those things. But without underwear? Bradley Bradshaw should have been illegal.

And now he had your back pinned against the shed with his huge hand on your neck while he reached into your underwear and started to finger you.

"Oh," you gasped, admiring the way his aviators were sliding down his nose while you rode his middle finger. The pressure on your throat wasn't enough to hurt, but it was enough to make you feel like you were no longer in charge here. And that feeling excited you.

Bradley's thumb stroked your clit, and you cried out for him. "Shh, be a good girl," he whispered, kissing your lips one time while his middle finger pressed forward on your most sensitive spot. When you whimpered, he kissed your forehead and said, "Yeah, nice and quiet, Baby Girl. Show me how good you can be."

You kept your little noises as quiet as you could, moving your hips in time with his thumb stroking you. When you were close, Bradley slipped his finger out of you, leaving you whining his name. He spun you to face the shed, yanking your underwear down so the lace brushed along your legs before they hit the ground. You planted both of your palms against the siding as Bradley pulled your dress up to your waist, fully exposing you to any neighbor who could have potentially been a little too nosy.

"Oh my god," you groaned as Bradley planted his left hand above yours and guided himself inside you with the other.

"You're so fucking wet." His voice was deep and needy as he fucked you, placing his hand on your pussy. He let you rub yourself against him as he bumped you along with his thrusts.

"Bradley." The second syllable was much louder than the first, your voice rising in pitch with pleasure. "Fuck!"

"Shh," he scolded once more. "Quiet, or I'll stop."

It was an empty threat, you were sure of it. He must be beyond the point of no return, but just in case, you covered your own mouth with your hand. He had you pinned tight between his pelvis and his palm, grinding against your butt, and holding you in place.

The beautiful friction of his palm had you clenching and cumming as your orgasm washed over you suddenly. "It's so good," you whined, needing both hands on the shed to keep yourself upright. "You're so good, Roo."

The string of obscenities he muttered next to your ear were nowhere near as filthy as his cock slamming into you and filling you with his cum. He used your pussy to drain him of every last drop as you pulsed around him, and when he withdrew, you felt your thighs get coated with his mess.

You spun around to face him, eyes wide. "I can't believe you fucked me in the backyard." Your eyes dipped down to his cock, softening and dripping your mixed ejaculate all over those gray sweatpants.

He tipped your chin up and looked at you over the top of his aviators. "You tell me you want something, I'm going to give it to you. Especially if it's my cock."

You grinned and kissed him before adjusting his sunglasses. "Let's go inside. We have even more laundry to do now." You tucked him back inside his sweatpants before stepping out of your underwear. "Don't forget those," you said, pointing to the scrap of lace in the grass.

You watched Bradley bend down and pick them up, bringing them up to his nose with a grunt as he followed you inside.

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I hope you enjoyed Rooster's gray sweatpants @thedroneranger

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dontbesoweirdkira · 15 days

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Yandere! Revenant harem w/ "queen" darling

A/N: ya'll won't leave me alone about this damn harem lol. ! jkjk I love ya'll but idek what to really add onto the harem stuff like please...I'm dying here. please eat this while I finish my requests.

requests: always open for my baby girls

Warnings: Ya'll should be famillair with the type of time I'm on

masterlist

hypothetically...let's say the original harem failed at protecting you and the revenants won and took you captive *tbh that's the only reason they came*

The revenant harem is all about teamwork, that's why they won. None of them mind sharing you and serving you is their sole purpose of living..well being undead?

You were their prize before they died and now in their afterlife, you are the only thing they can think about. They must protect their living darling from suffering their same fate. You are their queen now, they'll stop at nothing to prove that to you. Before they were playing fair, letting you choose who you wanted but they are done waiting. They are all yours to love.

Once captured by the harem, you will no longer have any life outside of them. You are not going anywhere. They hate the thought of you interacting with the outside world. Seriously, you are on lockdown. They even hate the idea of you visiting your family. They are your family.

were you a champion? Oh, well you're no longer allowed to ever fight or train again. They forbid you because they were all skilled and dedicated their lives to it but now look at them..you cannot get hurt.

Actually anything remotely dangerous is a no go.

There's never a second when you're alone, they're enamored by you. They've most likely built an entire castle for you, fit with a throne only you may be allowed to sit on. bouquets of flowers and jewels gifted at your feet. They bow in your presence and cannot wait to throw themselves at any opportunity to do something for you.

Anything..please anything you want. They'll gladly go to war for you and take over the entirety of the outworld for your ruling. Just say the words and they'd do it. You deserve to be Kahn with your ever so graciousness.

say jump and they'll say how high. If you never felt like walking again your feet won't ever have to touch that filthy ground ever again.

Don't let this fool you though, they are absolutely insane. They are still dangerous yanderes who will collectively punish you for any signs of disobedience. Don't run away, don't fight back or reject them..

Actually...do fight back. come on..they dare you. They love it when their queen plays rough. Who wouldn't want to be punched by you? They'll taunt and mock you while your weak self tries to fight them ...you're hilarious. If you are super powerful and is actually causing trouble, you will be punished by the more intense characters. Do you think you're getting past Raiden?

"A shame I had to use such intense force to subdue you. Although you are very dear to us, do not think for a second are exempt from proper discipline. Your fate will be shortly decided."

punishments range from you having some luxuries revoked to being dropped off in the living forest and left there to fend for yourself for a couple of hours.

You got the absolute worst version of every-single character...like a harem that consists of REVENANT Dark Raiden and Noob Saibot is a harem you def don't wanna mess around and find out with.

I know in the previous harem it seemed like every girl's dream..yeah no. Not this one.

Oh and they also like to control what you wear. Elaborate regal clothing is their favorite, especially with a huge headpiece. Your schedule is also controlled throughout the day. They have everything perfectly balanced to fairly share you and to take shifts protecting your castle. Occasionally though, some will get into fights with each other when one is a bit more needy and tries to hog up your time. The most sought-after time though is when you're either getting ready in the morning or settling down in the evening. To be the one to brush your hair or to help you out of your ridiculous garments is an honor.

I like to imagine that when you sleep, they all gather around your bed, admiring your beauty. none of them are allowed to sleep on your bed, They'll just huddle on the floor around it. reminds me of the quote "sleeping on your floor is better than sleeping in my bed." They all have their own rooms but rather be near you.

they're so far gone, you have to remind them every time you need to use the restroom that no. they cannot follow you in.

"Johnny, no. I need some privacy please."

*on his knees* "But my sweetheart...I just want to offer you some assistance."

"johnny- i have to pee..."

This way of life is completely normal...that's what they keep telling you at least..That their actions are innocent. Oh they just can't bear a second without you, bullcrap. So manipulative. They are still the same grimy men as before lol

Especially Kano and Erron..somehow death just made them have less of a filter.

Do you think Lui Kang, Kung Lao, Hanzo, and Kuai forced the monks and both clans into being your personal army? They're so damn corrupt.

They'll instantly kill anyone who dares to even look at you. It's only their special privilege. Their head will be gifted to you on a silver platter to show their undying devotion. Are you crying? did you not like their gift? They're sorry. Would you have preferred something more?

Speaking of you being upset, if someone in the harem causes you distress they'll be exiled after punishment...that is if they survived it.

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hippiegoth97 · 4 months

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Eddie Munson One-Shots Master List

Collage by me :)

Banner by @cafekitsune

Current Posts

Be Kind, Rewind (Female Reader)

Any Way You Want It (Female Reader)

Cum On Feel the Noize (Female Reader)

Dr. Feelgood (Female Reader)

Last Christmas (Female Reader) Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3

Girl On Film (Female Reader)

She-Bop (Female Reader)

Smalltown Boy (Male Reader)

Girls, Girls, Girls (Female Reader, M/F/F Threesome)

Relax (Male Reader)

Wild and Untamed Things (Steddie x Female Reader) Pt. 1 Pt.2 Pt.3

Love Bites (Female Reader)

Sweet Dreams are Made of This (Female Reader)

Heat of the Moment (Female Reader)

Master of Puppets (Female Reader)

You Couldn't Ignore Me If You Tried (Female Reader)

Roam Pt.1 Pt.2 (Female Reader)

Where Is My Mind? (Female Reader)

I Want to Know What Love Is (Female Reader)

Ballcrusher (Female Reader)

Divider by @strangergraphics

Upcoming Posts

Thriller (Female Reader)

Time of The Season (Female Reader)

The Killing Moon (Female Reader)

Rainbow in the Dark (Male Reader)

Object of My Desire (Female Reader)

I Melt With You (Female Reader)

I Wanna Be Your Lover (Female Reader)

Beautiful Boy, Darling Boy (Trans FTM Reader)

Renegade (Female Reader)

Future Request Prompts

These are some leftover ideas from my wattpad days, and ones I may write someday. Feel free to send a request in my inbox, and I'll do my best to finish it in a decent timeframe. I'll do any preferences you like, just follow my request rules that can be found here. I'll do any gender, pairing, etc., though obviously I have some preferences of my own in the descriptions. Also, please feel free to use these ideas for yourself, there's plenty to go around. If you do, don't forget to tag me so I can read your amazing work!

•Graduation Day/Party: You and Eddie graduate together in '86, and have some fun at a graduation party hosted at your house. (I envisioned cheerleader!reader for this, but it's up to you. And preferably the party would be at their house, and they're rich or something.)

•Sub!Reader/Dom!Eddie: Eddie tortures you with toys and edging, very kinky BDSM type stuff.

•Criminal!Reader: You're a runaway dropout who is honestly up to no good. Eddie encounters you when you start cutting in on his business, and you get into all sorts of illegal hijinks together.

•Punk!Dom!Steve Threesome: You and Eddie go to a rock show together, and you happen upon none other than former King Steve Harrington! He's dressed to the nines in punk attire, dyed/buzzed hair, piercings, tattoos, DIY clothes. You and Eddie are very taken with him, and bring him home for a good time (preferably this would be an MLM story, I haven't written queer content as much as I'd like.).

•Vamp!Eddie: Eddie nearly dies in the upside-down, but the bat bites turn him into a vampire. You hide him in your house, feed him, things get bitey, yada yada. (I know it's been done to death, but not by me. Well, not like this, anyway.)

•Truth or Dare: You and the grown teens of the Main Party have a gathering at your house. There's drinking, smoking, teasing games, the like. Everything is going great, until Eddie suggests you play 'truth or dare'. He knows you've been crushing on him for months, and he knows exactly what to do to get you to fess up.

•Canon (but also not) Steddie Threesome: You stay at Steve's with Eddie when you lose your home in the earthquake. You can overhear them having sex at night, which excites you. You try to ignore it, give them their privacy, until you hear the boys talking in bed about how much they want you, what they'd do to you. Eventually, the cat comes crashing out of the bag when you let it slip that you've been hearing them. This was all part of their elaborate plan, of course, much to your delight. (Again, preferably MLM on this one.)

•Wet Dreams: Eddie has a wet dream about you. Any dream you like.

•High School Reunion: It's 2006, the 20-year reunion for Hawkins High Class of '86. Eddie is a megastar, and you haven't even bothered to leave town. You hooked up once back in the day, and you always regretted letting him leave for LA to kickstart his career. Well, without you tagging along, at least. He shows up, much to your surprise, and you swear it's like he never even left.

•Hostile Uterus: You're in an all-girl rock band (named Hostile Uterus, if you couldn't tell), and Eddie sees you perform in a local festival-type event. He falls head over heels almost instantly when he watches you, needing to get to know you. You don't let him in so easily, and you're definitely not one to relinquish control. (Sub!Eddie and Bitchy!Dom!Reader preferred for this, but I'd take suggestions.)

•Oh, Eddie...You're So Fine: You work at a convenience store, which Eddie frequents on a regular basis. You often fantasize about him, your mind traveling to very nasty places while on the clock. One day, Eddie asks you out on a date, making all your wishes come true.

•Tattoos: You get a brand new/your first tattoo and are excited to show it to Eddie. He loves it, and goes crazy on you. (There's so many tattoo possibilities, so I'm leaving that open.)

•Brat!Reader and Dom!Eddie: Eddie is busy working on a new campaign, but you want his attention NOW. You start knocking things over, throwing a little bit of a fit, huffing and puffing. Eddie tries to ignore you, and the teasing you employ, and finish his work. He warns you many times to cut it out, but you don't listen. So, you earn yourself a very big punishment.

Tag List: @rafescurtainbangz @voyeurmunson @xxbimbobunnyxx @taintedcigs @mediocredreams

@slowandsteddie @angel-munson @eldermayfield @munsonsbtch @babygorewhore

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@eddie-van-munson @msgexymunson @munsoneightysixx @impmunson @mysticalstar30

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#fanfiction #smut #blurbs #eddie munson #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson x reader smut #eddie munson x reader #stranger things #hawkins #1980s #hippiegoth97 #oneshots

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completeoveranalysis · 4 months

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OK!

UNHINGED THEORY TIME:

WHO ARE LAVA LAMPS PARENTS?

Criteria for candidates include: (a) his mother's name is Sakura, (b) his mother is a dream seer, (c) they are vaguely Sakura and Syaoran shaped, (d) they end up in the Jam Jar

Potential Answer 1: Cardcaptor Sakura and Syaoran Li, from Cardcaptor Sakura

Hints in favour: Almost everything. Clamp drop constant hints that imply Cardcaptor Sakura, including but not limited to: the world Lava Lamp is 'from' resembles our world, his father's name is Syaoran Li, his mother's magic circle is the same one from Cardcaptor Sakura, his father's sword is identical to Cardcaptor Sakura!Li Syaoran's sword, his magic circle, Touya and Yukito (in 216, his relatives) are shown in ordinary clothing resembling our world, Lava Lamp's mother gave Yuuko the Star Wand, Lava Lamp's grandmother looks like Nadeshiko, Lava Lamp's father is descended from Clow Reed.

Counterpoints: Lava Lamp doesn't seem to recognise Touya and Yukito in the Clow Kingdom, CLAMP wouldn't need to hide their faces if we already correctly know who they are, Lava Lamp doesn't seem to know how Cardcaptor Sakura is related to Clow Reed.

Also: It's a bit dark! Even though Clamp are OVERFLOWING with hints that Lava Lamp's parents might just be the Cardcaptors, it would be a bit of a downer for the main characters for such a sweet and uplifting manga like Cardcaptor Sakura to end up here.

Theory Status: The one the narrative most strongly backs up, but still doesn't feel quite right

Potential Answer 2: Someone from Tsubasa

Hints in favour: THEY DON'T SHOW US THEIR FACES. EVER. Why leave their faces out unless we would recognise?

With this in mind, let us narrow down the potential Syaorans we have seen who could be considered JUST KIDDING THERE'S ONLY ONE: CLONE SYAORAN. He's the only one with an appearance distinctive enough to be immediately recognisable: he has heterochromia.

What if Clone Syaoran is Real Syaoran's father? Which would make Lava Lamp's mother either Clone Sakura or the new Fusion Sakura we just met.

Counter point: That's completely batshit.

Counter Counter Point: Logic in the universe is dying. Also this is CLAMP. It should be completely batshit.

Another Counterpoint: Hiding their faces could be a red herring just to torture us on purpose

Which I have no defence against that is 100% what they would do

Yet Another Counterpoint: Clone Syaoran and Clone Sakura are currently dead.

AND OK I HAVE NO EXPLANATION FOR THAT ONE.

Unless? There is a gap in the timeline where they could have disappeared for a long period of time? Ie, long enough to disappear to another dimensions, have children together, raise them, and then hop in the Jam Jar for an undisclosed number of years? And then time travel to still make it back into the narrative on time?

And - sure! There are MANY holes times where Clone Syaoran disappears from the narrative entirely. Most notably, his magic growth is extreme between the end of Nihon and his reappearance in the Reservoir. Also that was arguably when his soul was restored. So he MIGHT have disappeared, done all that, and still made it back in time to die in the Reservoir.

Also, if that IS the order of events, that would explain why we can never see his face AND ALSO why he still has Fai's eye when fighting in the Reservoir. Because he hasn't died yet.

Big Counter point: Yuuko has never met Lava Lamp's parents. Also, Lava Lamp's parents don't have the power to cross dimensions.

Which, yeah. That seems to rule them out entirely. Yuuko has met Clone Syaoran.

(Unless she means technically, since she wasn't in the same dimension as Clone Syaoran when she first met him in Chapter 1/2, but surely that's splitting hairs.)

So that seems to... rule them out pretty solidly?

Unless Yuuko HERSELF doesn't know exactly who they are, which seems even more unlikely than anything else.

Theory Status: Doesn't compute but I kind of want it anyway

Potential Answer 3: A completely unrelated pair of Sakura and Syaoran

Hints in Favour: It wouldn't counteract with any other facts we have so far, since we know nothing about them.

Counter point: It's boring.

Theory Status: It would work but it would be disappointing.

PS - no confirmations or denials in either direction please and thank you :D

#I feel like I'm forgetting something #but this is close enough #liveblogging the reservoir chronicle #And completely unhinged theory time #replies #five-p-m #with time travel anything is possible #BUT IS IT?#I GUESS WE'LL SEE

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kimhargreeves · 1 year

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Ordinary World-Ken x Reader (Barbie 2023)

Summary: You've always been a one of a kind Barbie, like different things from the other girls and many considering you a bit odd. Most Barbies are the same, many of them have their own Ken but the Ken you've had your eyes on has been dating your best friend for years. (I know the movie isn't out but I had this in mind and had to write it! Wouldn't in a million years believe I would fall in love with a Ken doll.)

(I have in mind to do a series on the Barbie movie once it is out with Ken and Reader. So, I decided to write a one shot that'll be based on the series I am planning, this could be a part of the series though some parts may change. I am dying to see this new Barbie and Ryan Gosling as Ken. I myself am a goth and imagined the reader the same,but you can imagine her as you'd like. Though for the official version I think they will be a goth since I would find it cute for opposites to attract, style wise, etc.)

The world is perfect. Endless days of going around making errands and endless nights parting and every Barbie and Ken gathering around to have a fun time. The sky is always the perfect shade of blue with few clouds decorating it, every Barbie has it's perfect job and perfect home.

The streets decorated with green trees, beautiful colored flowers, pastel colored homes, and the relaxing beach with it's pale pink sand.

Always thriving to make their name known and perfecting every single thing, every Barbie is perfect, from head to toe.

Every Barbie has a Ken. Every Ken has a Barbie to show their devotion and love. Well..almost every Barbie.

"Hi Barbie!"

I heard the countless of Barbies waving and greeting at each other. I sat in the patio at my friend's home, she had invited me over since she wanted to throw a big party at night and I was helping her decorate the place up and organize many chairs and tables with their snacks.

Many Ken's and Barbie's would be arriving. I was done sketching on my notebooks and placed it inside my bag and continued to fill up what was rest of the pool.

"How is everything going?" Barbie asked joining me in the backyard again.

"The pool is almost finished, just a few snacks are left, choose the perfect mixtape and the party will be perfect." I answered her.

I stood tall and noticed Barbie staring at me. "Great! Everything always goes perfect. How is your job going?"

Barbie questioned making me take a step back and shake my head. "I..I.. it's complicated."

"You got fired didn't you?"

I hung my head low and felt ashamed. "Hey hey don't get all upset on me. You were probably too good for the job anyways."

"I feel horrible, Barbie. You are the most perfect person I've met, you have countless of jobs and can do anything. You've offered me many jobs and I'm just not good at it. I'll never be good at anything." I answer defeated since apparently I am not good enough for this world.

Barbie placed her hand on my shoulder making me look into her blue eyes. "No. You are a good person, (Y/N). You are my friend and I did agree on helping you in whatever you needed..You're just special is all."

"I'm different.."

"Different is good! See? I even call you by the name you chose instead of Barbie." I pout and sighed heavily and nodded my head slowly.

"You're not a burden, (Y/N). You can be whatever you want to be. Remember that."

I smiled a bit and looked back at her. "Right..let's focus on the party instead."

"Great idea! Now I have the perfect song list for the party, many friends will come over-"

Barbie definitely living a dream life. I wish I could be like her.

I am a Barbie who looks, acts and thinks differently than the rest. I chose my own name, go by my own rules, what kind of Barbie does that?

Every Barbie has it's dream house, dream career..a Ken.

Unlike them I can barely fit in a specific job, I don't own a huge house like most of them do, don't have plenty of close friends and I don't have a Ken. A companion, a lover to spend my days with them and have fun.

Every Barbie had a Ken and then there is me…

I've heard what many people have said behind my back, I'm a weird person I know. I tend to look at the dark side of life sometimes and can be a bit straightforward which leaves some people taken back from me.

I normally don't dress all cute or bright colors like the rest of the girls. I feel like I don't belong here at times.

I sometimes stay late at night wondering if outside of our Barbie world, there's more, maybe s lot more different. I will say I am more on the dreamer kind, wishing to know about more knowledge outside of here.

I've collected these books that I found a long time ago. Books that seem that wasn't made or written by someone here. There's one that has always fascinated me, it's called The Wizard of Oz. Sometimes I feel the main character of the book, Dorothy.

Being different from the rest and arriving at a strange world that seems too perfect to be true.

Aside from collecting rare items I also enjoy drawing, sketching or painting. I'm no where near perfect as the Barbie to specifies on art but I do my best.

I've sold a few around town since Barbie recommended my work to everyone, even President Barbie had a large portrait done by me in her office.

I'm not great with parties since I try to relax on my own and sketch everyone having fun. Tonight, I am planning to do the same and imagine myself in their scenario. In their perfect world.

"(Y/N)!." Barbie clapped her hands in front of me drawing my attention back to her.

"Yes?" I ask.

"Many guys will be here. Maybe, I can introduce you to a Ken." Barbie said winking and continuing to decorate the place.

"T-That won't be necessary. I'm not ready to date anyways, I'll just chill with Alan."

Aside from Barbie, I can say Alan is one of my closest friends as well, he's like a brother to me. He's unique anyways, there's just one him.

"You gotta have at least a bit of fun, I don't like seeing you sitting down at parties. Promise me you'll try at least."

I sigh and fake a smile at her, "I promise."

💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

A song titled Girls Just Wanna Have Fun continued to blare through the speakers. Everyone was having lots of fun. Different shades of pink balloons adorned the backyard along with streamers and even a big piñata made in the shape of a large 'B'.

Even the refreshing drinks were pastel pink and blue colored. Barbie continued to dance along with the rest. I was sitting down by an empty table along with Alan who had a drink in his hand, "So, I asked her out and guess what she said?"

"What did she say?" I ask tilting my head and knowing exactly where this is going.

"She said yes! But, when I arrived at the cafe she wasn't there. She said she had an important meeting but we're definitely going out next week."

"Good for you, Alan." I held onto my sketchbook and continued to sketch the crowd.

"Don't you want to dance or something? You know if you're having trouble dating a guy, I can always be available for you." He awkwardly said earning a pat on his shoulder from me.

"Trust me you wouldn't want to date me. You deserve someone way better."

Alan hummed and stood up. "You're right."

"Ouch." I said not really hurt by his words but continuing to sketch.

"Well, if you need me I'll be..around." Alan quickly left leaving me on my own. I looked down at my creation and smiled when I saw how well and detailed I got everyone, I flipped the pages and landed on the one I was still finishing up.

"What you got there?" I shrieked and jumped in my spot, quickly closing my book and turning to face the familiar voice.

Ken. Barbie's Ken.

"N-Nothing! Just finishing up a project I was asked to do." I answered quickly and blushed when I looked into Ken's blue eyes and saw a charming smile spread across his face.

He looks so handsome up close! Perfect blue, eyes, perfect smile, perfect blonde hair and perfect bod-

"Cool. Can I see?" He asked all excited sitting in front of me now.

"No! I mean..You can't it's not ready yet." I said trying to come up with a lie.

"I'm not a critic by all means, but I'm sure you're doing a fine job as always." Ken said reaching over to place his hands on top of my book and I grabbed the she and began pulling it towards me and Ken did the same to try and look.

Sometimes Ken has a hard time of understanding when no means no. He's a goofball and kind of oblivious.

"Maybe just a tiny peek.."

"Ken, no!" I felt like I was speaking to a puppy, not understanding it's tricks.

"Come on, (Y/N). We're friends right? Friends gotta stick together and not hold any secrets between us."

I huffed annoyed by him but finding him extremely irresistible and cute when he acts this way. He knows his ways to charm me, well, that's what I like to think. I sat back and slid the notebook over to him.

"Yes!" He raised his fists and eagerly started to look through my sketches.

If onto he knew the truth about how I feel for him. I continue staring at him, my heart beating faster, growing nervous at what he would say once he sees my sketch of him. He'll find me weird and ask me why I drew him, he'll find out about my crush on him for sure!

Ken continued to flip thought he pages until one caught his eye. I sucked in air and was ready to hear his harsh words.

"Omg..Do I always look this handsome?" He questioned staring at the sketch and placing it right beside his face.

"You even got my nose right! Haha. Though I do say between him and me, I'm a lot more attractive."

My mouth nearly fell open. The reaction was unexpected, but what can I expect from Ken. "Is there a reason you chose me?"

"No, wait! It's because I'm your idol isn't it? It's nice to know I have a number 1 fan besides Barbie." Ken enthusiastically said and handed me my notebook back before deciding to sign his name on the same page.

Before I could grab onto the notebook Ken grabbed both my hands into his. Making me blush and surely painting my entire face red at the simple action.

Quickly I pulled my hands back and touched my cheeks trying to hide the blush on me. Ken looked surprised but didn't question it, he now chuckled and stared at me with his hand resting on his palm.

I need to a cold drink. I reached to grab a cup of pink lemonade and began to drink rapidly.

"You're honestly so talented, you just don't realize it. I know you don't like to call yourself a Barbie, but I'm surprised you haven't found a Ken or gotten married yet."

I spat my drink on him and started coughing. "Who's you okay?!" He jumped up when I did and I nodded my head.

"I'm fine! I-I'm so sorry, Ken!" I grabbed a couple of napkins and began to try to wipe his clothes since it was wet, which only made me feel his muscles instead. I blushed and pulled my hands back and apologized to Ken again.

He tilted his head looking at me weirdly. "Are you okay, (Y/N)? You're as pink as Barbie's car."

"I'm completely f-fine! But what about your shirt?" I ask concerned and Ken dug something out of a bag, another shirt and jacket, he brought along and changed right in front of me.

"I always keep spare clothes just in case things like this happen." Ken reached out to me and started to ruffle my hair.

"Don't get yourself to worried. Why don't we enjoy the party instead?" He smiled and I watched him excitedly run off to greet his girlfriend, Barbie. My best friend.

I remained staring at them and the rest enjoying themselves. They party and have fun like nothing else matters. I smiled sadly staring at Barbie and Ken dancing, I grabbed my sketchbook and started to leave the party.

Slowly the sound of music fading the more I continued to walk to my home. Hoping to someday at least someday matter to Ken, and for him to look at me different than just a friend.

#barbie 2023 #barbie movie #greta gerwig #margot robbie #ryan gosling #ken barbie #barbie x reader #ken x reader #ryan gosling x reader

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reddesires · 3 months

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RUINS.

Prologue : Promising Prospect.

Pairing: Noa x Human!Reader

Rating: No Warning.

Summary: Could there be a world that would be accepting of kinship between an ape and a human? It's only by chance that you came across him, an ape who craves more of the outside world beyond his clans borders. Will there be common ground, or will your past prevent you from making the same mistakes?

A/N: Hi, hello. Welcome to Prologue of Ruins, a story consisting of healing trauma and finding love within a world that's working against you. I'm proud of what I've written so far, i hope you like it❤️

The desolate structures that surrounded you held no warmth, the thoughts of life that cohabited this lonely formation of stone clouded your mind, images of people like you and their families going about their lives with no idea of the demise of their towering future crumbling into rubble with you sitting right in the middle of what remains.

You had no idea what life was like when your species ruled the earth but you knew of the things they left behind, the history that was ingrained into the minds of humans and apes alike, you knew of the shared hatred that you took no part in between the groups.

You’ve struggled between the tides of the world surrounding you. You were born in a time that held no home for you, a world that will tear every strand of familiarity that resembles humankind.

You've seen the ragged savagery between humankind and apes alike, the fighting and the ash that chokes out every hope that could possibly breathe life into the hatred that lies between them. The deep slash on your palm a reminder that you bleed the same, he bled the same, his blood seeped into yours as you promised that you would never resort to the tragedies that befell him and his people, the light in eyes flickering and dying out like the fires that surrounded you.

He told you to run and to never look back, and you didn’t. How could you trail back to a home that was no longer in existence, the once welcoming arms of those who sunk in death's embrace, you only wish you went with them but you pushed on with no destination in mind or heart, only the will to survive.

You rode on horseback for hours until you reached this monolith graveyard, a headstone of a past long lost that would serve you, hiding within its crumbling walls lined with mother earth’s vine-like embrace.

You only wished for peace, a life without hardship and bloodshed, but there was hardly any space like that for a human. That place was burned to cinders.

No place for a human like you.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Life in the ruins is excruciatingly lonely. It's the same routine for you. You don't allow yourself to get too comfortable within this space. You are not only exposed to the elements but to whoever else who decides to explore the structure.

You aren't afraid of defending yourself, you just don't want it to come down to that again, you hide in the shadows of these old structures making sure to leave little to no evidence of you behind wherever you decide to hunker down for the night. You clean up the fireplaces, alternate between two sheets you use to sleep, washing them after use to rid of your natural smell.

You bathe in the nearby lake daily and use natural mint leaves to mask your scent, pulling the smell onto your everyday clothes. You make sure not to leave behind any food scrapes and no fires into the dead of night. You'd rather not be found by any wanderers that way.

You struggle with this new life, you used to have community and protection but now it's all gone, the ringing in your ears from the silence surrounding you damn near pulling you into a psychosis, you barely even recognize the sound of your voice at this point.

The only company you have is your dream and nightmares, they both kill you in very different ways, your dreams consist of the life you had before, the people you loved before, the memories of them flashing before you, the way you loved them and their undying devotion to you but your nightmares held the memories of the loss, how you lost them. Fire and Ash coating the realms of your mind, their blood on your hands, the screams encapsulating you, and it seems never ending, was this the life you were meant to have? Was there something more?

You were afraid to find out, the fear of the unknown too great for you now, you craved companionship, but the trepidation was far too great, the hovering possibility of losing them clouding your mind. As you sat with your back to the wall looking through the hallowed hole in the barrier across from you, observing all the constellations of the stars in a sky so far from you, a sky that was unattainable just like the life you had no choice of leaving behind.

The bodies that you have buried deep in the earth's soil, their souls extending out into the celestial body that you've admired your whole life, cradling those you held dear.

The cragged edge of the spear head in your hand grounding you and your nomadic thoughts, a calm wave of acceptance rounding the anger and helplessness that was held hostage in your mind, there was no fighting it, with time it'll pass but the grief will withhold no matter what.

There is no turning back, no going back to the times before, those who were there are no longer meddling on this earth, it will only be you with the burden of moving on.

The chill in the air sends a harsh shiver down your spine,you pull your jacket closer into your body as you lay on your makeshift bed your eyes still graced onto the sky far beyond you, you remember those before you and how he would've wanted you to survive, no matter what it took. Just survive.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

The rays of daybreak skim over your eyelids, the flutter of your eyelashes as you squint brushing the tops of your cheeks, a deep exhale exiting your lungs, the ache of the action traveling through your body as you slowly unwind yourself from the balled up position you fell asleep in.

Another morning, the same routine. Rinse and repeat. While standing you gather the sheet from your corner, rolling it around it around your forearms kicking the remnants of the fireplace over the ledge, watching the burnt coals twirl into the air below, the charred remains disappearing within the winds that blew through. Rinse and repeat.

By the time you've done your routine, the wet sheet sticking to your skin as did your clothes, a new layering of distinct mint covering your scent, you hang the sheet to be dried in your hidden designated spot, out of sight to anyone who may be passing through.

The berries you collected on the way weighed heavy in your knapsack, your stomach rumbling in lingering hunger. You'll head back to your shelter to eat before you did anything else for the day, there wasn't much to do around the area, you've already explored all around the ruins and you've come across all kinds of human trinkets but you didn't care enough to carry them with you.

you didn't have much of a attachment to anything anymore but the spear head that seemed to burn a hole in your pocket, the size of it having a feeling of bigger much than it actually is, it loomed over you like a shadow just waiting to stab in to the tender skin of your palm.. it held more meaning than you actually liked to admit. It was too hard to admit.

When placing your clean sheet in the corner of the room, a huff exudes from your bronchi, and the ache still settled deep within your bones. You can feel the droop of your shoulders as you dig your hand into your new batch of freshly harvested berries, you didn't exactly have a plethora of food options, mainly sticking to the local berries and if you were lucky a fish from the lake.

You have thought of hunting but put it from your mind. It was too risky. The native animals worth hunting for were much too far from the ruins for your liking.

A heaving sigh escapes you as plop a berry into your mouth. This is intensely boring..

The silence encircling you was abruptly broken, voices echoing throughout the cavernous openings of the structures, hurriedly grabbing your belongings you scurry into an ajoin room squeezing into the crawl way with no notice of the missing stone falling from your pocket, the panic grasping onto your senses with merciless vigor.

The resonate voices bounce off your eardrums as you push yourself into the wall behind you, making yourself as small as possible. Here's to hoping you won't be found out. There's no knowing what could come from it.

#Ruins.#noa x human reader #noa x reader #planet of apes x reader #planet of the apes #pota #reader insert #fanfic #fanfiction #owen teague

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imbibitorlunaeluv · 5 months

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Late Night Talks

You can't seem to get a peaceful night's rest, and neither can he.

Yuta Okkotsu x Fem! reader.

A lil drabble I made, basically for those who feel absoloutely guttered after a long day. L/N is your last name! have fun lovelies and DON'T sleep late!

This isn’t normal. None of this should be normalised to a teenage girl, a child who eliminates curses up until the sun rises up. But there are some who are considered gifted. Blessed to be stronger by others, and at all cost protect the weak. Though those rules are unwritten, it should be common knowledge by everyone.

I open the door to the dorms, my breath heavy as I fight the urge to close my eyes. A full week of enduring the need to faint is what I have overcome, and it may as well become part of my life by now. They say it is all well, the safety of others- of the weak, ensured.

The strong shielding the weak.

I lazily take off my combat boots, not caring what noise I may make at this time of night as I let my back collapse onto the sofa. I feel my sight become a blur, the taste and smell of curses still lingering in the air, the face of a helpless man screaming and kicking whilst making it harder to exorcise the damned cursed spirit.

To hell with the weak.

My right arm lifts up to cover my eyes, exhaling through my nose as I feel myself getting lightheaded,

“I feel like dying today…”

I mutter, to absoloutely no one. Besides, who in god's name would still be up by this hour?

“L/N-san?"

For some reason, something in me warms up just by hearing the familiar voice. I pry my hand away slightly, only to be met by a cursed boy’s dark silhouette in the dimly lit living room we both inhabit. His head peeked out from above the couch, leaning against the back of it while he looked down at me.

“Yuta…” I couldn’t fight the small smile forming onto my face, a slight bit surprised that I was caught off guard and couldn’t sense his presence.

“What… Why are you still awake?”

"I should be the one to ask you that."

I sit up slightly, propping myself up onto my elbows as I attempt to show a non exhausted grin, not like he could actually see it in such darkness.

“I just finished a mission… took longer than expected.”

He doesn’t at all seem satisfied with my answer. The change in atmosphere and posture could tell it all,

“Ah… alright then.”

“You don’t seem content with my answer, pretty boy.”

And he answers a beat later,

“You’re lying. Your missions usually take way longer than this.”

Even without seeing him clearly, the frown on his face was as bright as the sun. Ever since our shared conversation in the sushi restaurant, Yuta and I have been conversing more and more frequently without experiencing an awkward silence.

So attentive, I let a chuckle slip past my lips. The thought of having someone who could actually be awake enough to hear me come through the door is actually frightening. Having someone else who also has a messed up sleep schedule, or mind, accompanying me in the lonely night.

I gave into a smile, “You were always awake, weren’t you?”

A question that needed no answering to, making Yuta shake his head slightly as he walked to turn on the kitchen light instead.

“I never sleep- well at least I try not to…” his voice trails off, a yawn overcoming him as I sit up to get a better view of Yuta.

The way his eyes were begging to be closed shut, his slouched back and heavy eye bags were enough to make me feel slight pity. For a boy who claims to never sleep, he’s done particularly well in the art of combat. His passion, his determination, his love towards her.

I pursed my lips at the thought of Rika, “Do you never try to talk to… you know… Rika?”

A laughable question it might be, humorous to Yuta probably as I expected him to topple over laughing. But then again, it’s Yuta. The depressed cursed teenage boy I saved. The cursed boy merely smiles, holding his mug in one hand as he looks over to me.

“Not ever since being haunted by her face in my dreams, no.”

I experienced it too, is what I wanted to say. Although nothing leaves my mouth, I give an understanding nod instead. After realising that the past would always chase me till my sleep, I was slightly grateful for the stockpile of missions that made me occupied. I stopped consulting with Shoko as it proved to be of no help.

“Sometimes when I do see a glimpse of the past Rika… I feel sick to my stomach.”

I know the feeling.

“Knowing that I couldn’t even do anything made me feel useless… even until now.”

I’ve always felt that way.

“Sometimes I feel that Gojo-sensei was right… love is a twisted curse.”

Love is for the weak.

I let out a hum, eyes casted down to instead look at my nails and speak whatever comes to my head, “He told me the same thing. But I thought it was so I would steer away from dating anyone.”

And for a moment, I catch a glimpse of Yuta’s sheepish look.

“You-you’ve never… had a lover?” he questions me, his cheeks flaring up into a vibrant pink while avoiding any form of eye contact. He sounds lost, astounded, even. It’s as if the facts I conveyed to him were all white lies.

“Never really thought of having one, really. I admit that the topic of romance does hang higher in the books I read, but I’ve never experienced what it’s like to be loved romantically by someone.”

My explanation seemed to bring Yuta some courage to at least look me in the eye, his lips slightly parted at the information he received. He seems to stay like that for a moment, the same startled look looming on his features.

I take notes on his face features, softly lit up by the light shining right above the kitchen counter behind him. The colour on his face seemed to return after enrolling in Jujutsu High for a while, and he doesn’t look as skinny and bony as he did. His hair was growing a tad bit longer, more fluffy but never kept neat. My gaze goes down to his lips, his slightly chapped, parted lips.

I feel myself getting warmer by the second, my heart thumping so loud I can almost throw it up. He looks at me, with such eyes that cloud so much thought. And I absolutely feel myself getting weaker just by this, and I absolutely hate it.

I return my gaze to his eyes, “Too shocked to speak?”

Yuta flinches by the sound of my voice, almost as if he was in a haze whilst looking over at me. He then shakes his head, watching his unkept raven hair move as a blush rises to his ears. He covers his mouth with the back of his hand, eyes not meeting mine as I can barely make out his muffled voice,

“You’re just… too pretty

#jujustu kaisen #yuta okkotsu #yuta x reader #yuuta x reader #okkotsu yuuta #jjk yuuta #jjk #jjk x reader #fluff #jjk fluff

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weneeya · 7 months

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Hii I love your work sm !! I didn't see it anywhere but could you do anything with shoko as f!reader's girlfriend? If not it's ok

Love you <3

of cigarettes and love w/ shoko m.list | rules

note. hiii thank u sm aaa I'm so happy that you love my work!! omg ur request I'm dying I've never thought about writing with shoko but it's great idea thank u for that hope you'll like it! love ya <3

Shoko was outside the building, smoking silently. The last few days had been pretty difficult for her, even if she wouldn’t admit it. She wasn’t the type to speak about her problems to others, even if it helped sometimes. She was a lonely woman, or at least she had been for a long time. But things had changed.

You just came back from your mission, and the first thing you thought about was to go see your girlfriend. You knew that it wasn’t an easy time for her and, even though you had to keep working, you wanted to be here for her as much as possible. Shoko was always acting like she didn’t care but you knew her too well to believe it.

Your first thought was to find her and, like heaven heard you, you saw her at the moment you arrived. She was out there, in front of Jujutsu Tech, with a cigarette between her fingers. When she saw you, a slight smile appeared on her lips. She didn’t say a word as you came closer to leave a kiss on her cheek.

“Are you okay?” you asked, a bit worried. You knew that even if she said yes, she would be lying. You weren’t dumb, even if your question was a bit stupid ; you were asking in order to comfort her.

“I’ve known better,” she admitted while she was smoking slowly. She tried to be honest with you ; you were her girlfriend and she didn’t want to take the risk of losing you by lying about how she felt. She looked back into your eyes and she could see the sadness in them. You were too sweet for your own good, but she loved you like this.

“It’s okay sweetheart, I’m fine,” she said to you, but the small pout that appeared on your lips confirmed to her that you weren’t believing her words. Before she could say anything else, you came closer to softly grab her cigarette. Soon, it was dying in the ashtray next to both of you. You looked into her dark eyes, before you grabbed her face between your small and soft hands. Her eyes were traveling over your face, without saying anything. You looked so pretty, from this close.

As you started to reassure her, Shoko was only focused on your face, your touch against her cheeks and your gentle voice stuck into her mind. She closed her eyes slowly, before she let her forehead rest against your shoulder. You were surprised by her sudden move, but you remained silent for the moment.

“I love you,” were the first words to break the silence that you were going through. You looked at her, and a soft smile appeared on your pink lips. Your fingers were slowly playing with her long brown hair as you answered an “I love you too” almost in a murmur.

She was really glad to have someone like you by her side. You were the best girlfriend she could have asked for. You were like a dream, and she was ready to stay asleep a bit longer if it meant staying with you.

I love this woman sm she deserves more appreciation people don't talk about her enough pls request with women as much as you want

#shoko ieiri #shoko x reader #shoko headcanons #shoko hcs #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk hcs #jjk headcanons #jjk x reader #jjk fluff #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen hcs #jujutsu kaisen headcanons

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basilpaste · 7 months

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On Command!

(This fic contains depictions of panic attacks and also talks of death! please be safe.)

You can loop without dying. You can loop without touching a tear or dying. Why?

Better question: how?

You know you loop when you talk to the Head Housemaiden. You know you looped when Loop said something similar to her. Is it those words that trigger it?

Something is breaking. Something's failing, rotting. You sit in front of the statue of the Change God and think the words with force. Panic swells in your chest. You hate thinking about it! You thought you were free the first time you beat the King! That your friends would get to go and you'd be done with this whole thing. And then the Head Housemaiden started talking like that and it just!

You don't feel like looping. You just feel bad.

So if not that… what? What caused you to loop those times? Was it… emotions? You weren't stressed the first time you talked to the Head Housemaiden, though! But you still looped back anyway! You bite your lip — hard. Okay. Maybe you'll have time to think about this later. Because Sif just passed the statue and you have a schedule!

… You could ask Loop about it. You aren't sure Loop would appreciate that much. So. You won't! You'll figure it out on your own! It can't be that hard, can it?

You are in the House. In the secret library, thumbing uselessly through the same books you've already skimmed. There's nothing important here, not that you know of at least, but you still look vaguely at the pages. One of the books, shoved away and out of place, is on self help. A page catches your eye! Breathing exercises! Like Sif's! From all the time you've spent with him, now, you've found yourself doing them subconsciously. To keep yourself calm!

Hm.

You don't panic in front of your friends much, do you? Not genuinely, at least. You play up nervous embarrassment, lean into it when m'dame Odile teases you, but you don't ever actually panic. Not visibly, not in a way they can see.

What are you thinking? You'd already ruled out the strange loops being based on emotion because of the first time you talked to m'dame Head Housemaiden! Would it hurt to try, though? This loop is already a bust, after all. It'd be nice to not have to die.

… The tears have started to give you more nightmares than dreams.

It's not like it's hard to panic! In this situation you have a lot to panic about! You're pretty constantly stressed! You place the book back on the shelf and move on from the library, holding that thought in your mind. Panic… panic. You're trapped in a time loop. The end doesn't end it, the beginning never changes. You are the only one who remembers other than Loop. You have to watch your friends do the same things over and over and over again.

You keep moving on autopilot. You know this floor well enough to not make any dumb mistakes. Your head feels fuzzy, your chest feels tight! You're doing a good job at making yourself panic! If you never get out of this loop Mira will never realize how much she's grown. If you never get out of this loop Bonbon won't ever see their sister again. If you don't make it out m'dame will never really respect you and you'll never properly tell Sif how much they mean to you — not really. So you need to get out. But you're trapped. You can't escape.

There is static in your head, the back of your throat tastes sweet like sugar. You're trapped. Forever and ever in this world without change. There's no escape.

"… Isabeau?"

Mira. She's looking at you! Maybe you weren't being as subtle as you thought, huh?

You breathe deep. In and out. Staying calm under pressure is easy for you. You want to choke and scream and sob but you won't. You can't! You're the fighter! You're big and strong and reliable! What would happen if you weren't? If no one could trust you to be their rock!

"Sorry, Mira!" You rub the back of your neck, "I got lost in thought for a second there."

The static is gone. You're fine.

You stand in the room with the poem. You're not quite sure what made you come here! It's a dead end! Poetry isn't even something you're that big on! You like it, sure, especially love poems (which a Housemaiden in Jouvente once said were the lowest form of poetry. You exist to spite xem every day), but its not like you go out of your way to read any poems!

You're just… here.

That's all a lie.

You know why you came here. You have a theory. Not a strong theory, not a good one, but one you can test. The last time you tried to loop without a tear… you couldn't. You got close. You know for sure you got close but… you're missing something. You're at a dead end but no one else has realized it yet. If you coward out — you can use that as an excuse! Hah!

Panic. Okay. You're terrified of this! Of doing this! Because if it doesn't work the way you want it to you'll make everyone worry! And the idea of making people worry about you makes you want to curl up into a ball and scream! Because you're Isa! Emotional Isa, but never really scared! Only ever spooked!

You're stupid. It's what you convince others is true about yourself. You think… Mira knows it's not true. That's so scary it makes you kind of sick to think about, actually! You don't want anyone to see through you, to learn what a coward you are. Hiding everything about yourself.

Oh. Um. You're doing the breathing thing. Don't do that, Isabeau! It slows your heartrate down! Don't keep your cool! Don't don't don't! You have to do this — you at least have to try! You hold your breath. You know that doing that slows your heart but if you do it long enough when you breathe out it'll start racing! And you'll breathe quicker because you need to catch your breath.

People are talking but you aren't listening. You can't hear them, you're too focused on not breathing. On not being calm. Because oh Change are you not calm! You're so not calm!!

You can't hold your breath anymore.

Just like you knew it would, breathing out leaves you gasping for air. You can feel your pulse drumming in your ears and your breath coming out in short little bursts. It's not enough! It's not quick enough! They'll notice. You don't want them to notice you. You dig your nails into your palms, feeling them even through your gloves.

You've died. You've died a lot. It's really really scary to die and you don't think you've actually thought about it enough! The King killed you brutally twice before you figured out what you were supposed to do! You've gotten caught off guard by the strong sadnesses! Once you even managed to get crushed by the stupid crabbing rock!

There is a sickly sweet taste in your mouth and when you try to swallow you almost gag.

You're not strong! You're not strong, you're panicking like a little kid! Tears prick in the corners of your eyes and they sting.

If anyone notices they'll know that you're not what any of them expected. You're an overgrown child who can't protect anyone!

You can't protect anyone.

How could they ever trust you to protect them, to be strong enough to keep them safe, when you're acting like this!

They won't trust you.

You won't be able to protect them.

You can't breathe you can't breathe you can't—

There is a thread tugging at your chest.

The thread snaps.

#in stars and time #in stars and time spoilers #isat spoilers #isat fanfic #in stars and time fanfic #isabeau isat #hes the only character who has a major role in this one so.#of stitches in sequence #basil writes #this one is 1.3k words! that makes it by far the longest of the tumblr fics for this au! cheers!#OH i didnt say this but this is isas equivalent of the dagger. loop is. nnnnnot happy about it.

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bitethedevil · 5 months

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A Portrait of A Cambion

Link to this fic on AO3

Summary: Raphael rejects his icky mortal feelings for Tav because he remembers what happens when one is distracted by matters of the heart. He reminisces about a woman who taught him how to paint and who stole his non-existent heart over a thousand years ago.

(This is essentially a sort of 'origin story' headcanon that I ended up writing into a fic because people were asking about my dark headcanon that Raphael has experienced love before, but Mephistopheles took it from him. It ended up as a fic because I had a very specific image in my head of how Raphael fell in love for the first time and how he lost that love. Also cambions don't have a heart. Source?: Pulled it out of my ass.) TW: Mention of Death, Blood, Abusive Relationship with Parent (although that should almost be a given with Mephistopheles in the tags)

Another nightmare about Tav. This time it had not been about her and her fellow adventurers besting him. Instead, he had dreamt about her dying a cruel death.

He shouldn’t care and he didn’t, but his mind was sabotaging him and in the midst of the dream, he had felt fear for her. It shook Raphael awake from his nightly meditation and made him sit up in his bed.

He rubbed his eyes and sneered at that disgusting mortal feeling that still lingered in his chest. He had to remind himself that she was no more than a means to an end.

He could not afford such distractions, especially now when the crown was so close…

Raphael’s eyes drifted to the right-hand portrait in his boudoir, the one where he hid his safe behind.

There it was again. That stabbing feeling in his chest. He could not even remember the face of the painter that had made the portrait, but looking at that painting was just the reminder he needed: Distractions will cost you dearly.

It was over a thousand years ago that he had met her. It was before he had even laid his eyes on the Crown of Karsus and witnessed Netheril’s fall. He was still perfecting his art when it came to soul collecting. Back then he mainly went after the most desperate of the desperate and this girl could not have been more perfect.

Her name was Lucienna and she lived in Westgate, a city known for its history with criminal organizations and piracy. The young human woman had managed to make herself quite unpopular with the group of mercenaries that ruled the city then.

She was on the run with two of Westgate’s best killers at her heels when Raphael unceremoniously whisked her away to the Hells. Back then he still lived in Cania under his father’s rule.

The young woman took in her new surroundings while she tried to catch her breath. She looked up at Raphael who was still in his human form.

“Where am I?” she wheezed, out of breath. “And thank you, I suppose.”

“The Eighth Layer of the Hells,” Raphael explained smoothly. He found no reason to pretend when her contract was already as good as signed with the circumstances, she found herself in.

“…Oh,” she said a bit too calmly for Raphael’s liking and nodded.

“Quite a mess you’ve found yourself in, dear,” Raphael said with a smile. “Was it worth it? The protesting, I mean?”

Lucienna narrowed her green eyes at him.

He had done his research. The whole reason that she was on the hitlist of the mercenary government of Westgate, was all because of some posters, she had made and plastered around the city. They criticized the government and called the population to protest.

“It was actually worth it, yes,” she said with defensiveness in her voice. “And I’d do it again.”

She crossed her arms and looked at him. Raphael looked her up and down with a smile on his face.

“I saw your work before they were all taken down and burned,” Raphael said. “You are clearly talented. As a great admirer of the arts, it would pain me to see someone with so much to offer the world dead in a ditch somewhere. Which is why I have a proposal for you…”

“Whatever you are selling, I don’t want any,” she said and interrupted his sales-pitch. “Who are you anyway?”

“Oh, do forgive my manners. I am Raphael,” he said with a bow and in a flash of fire he was in his cambion form. “Very much at your service.”

Her eyes widened for a moment at the reveal of his true nature, but she quickly gathered herself.

“I mean…” she said. “I suppose I could have guessed since you said we were in the Hells, but…”

She looked him up and down, studying his form for a moment before looking back at his smug face.

“I still stand by what I said,” she said stubbornly. “Especially if my soul is the price.”

Raphael’s smirk faltered. He had been so certain that this would have been an easy deal.

“Perhaps you don’t grasp the severity of your situation,” Raphael said with a dramatic hand gesture. “I can make this whole mess disappear if you simply sign my contract. If you do not, I will simply send you back to the exact spot I found you to be hunted for sport by the best killers Westgate has to offer.”

She nodded slowly.

“I’ll take my chances,” she said with a shrug.

Raphael’s brow furrowed. That was not what he wanted to hear.

“Suit yourself,” Raphael said with a sneer and snapped his fingers to send her back to where she came from.

If the little idiot so desperately wanted to walk into her own grave, Raphael would not stop her. However, it did infuriate him that she did not even seem the least bit interested in even hearing his offer. If she did, by some miracle, survive, she could be certain that Raphael was not done with her.

Raphael followed her movements through the city closely. Luck seemed to be on her side because she did eventually make it out of the city in one piece. He tracked her to a house in the middle of nowhere out on the countryside. He kept an eye on her little hiding spot for a couple of weeks before approaching her.

He manifested in a room where a small fortune in painting supplies laid scattered everywhere. There were paintings leaning up against every wall. His person of interest sat in the middle of the room. She looked up from the canvas she was working on and jumped at his presence.

“Are you ready to accept my kind offer or do you intend to hide here for the rest of your days?” Raphael asked with a smile.

“Shhh,” she hushed and put a finger to her lips. “Please, lower your voice. My father might hear you.”

She was bold, he would give her that. Raphael huffed in annoyance but complied.

“Well?” he asked in a more hushed voice.

“I’m perfectly content here, thank you,” she said while her focus returned to the painting she was working on.

Raphael could not believe what he was hearing.

“Please correct me if I misunderstand,” Raphael said. “You would run from the very city that you have been fighting to protect from tyranny, to stay here? You are aware that the mercenaries of Westgate do not forget a face and that you getting out of the city does not mean that you are safe?”

“I understand just fine,” she said calmly. “I did what I could, and it wasn’t enough. I know I’m not safe but that doesn’t mean I want to hand over my soul to you...No offense, of course.”

Her stubbornness was getting on his nerves. Perhaps, it would just be easier to leave her alone, as it seemed he was getting nowhere with her. She was a hopeless case.

“Raphael, was it?” she asked and looked at him.

Raphael nodded with a tired look in his eyes.

“I had a feeling that you would be back, so I have something for you, Raphael,” she said and got up from her chair. “If you don’t like it, I won’t take offense.”

Raphael’s brow furrowed as he watched her go pick up a painting. This was new.

She picked up the canvas that was almost as big as her and turned it around so he could see it. His eyes softened, despite himself.

It was a painting of him in his cambion form, painted in shades of orange. He was wearing armor and was holding a flame in one hand in the painting. He looked imposing yet regal. It was beautifully done.

“The likeness isn’t perfect,” she said with a shrug. “But I also only ever met you that one time, so…”

Raphael blinked and tried to hide how impressed he was with her work.

“Why did you do this?” he asked and looked at her.

“My little trip to the Hells was long enough for the people chasing me to lose my trail,” she explained. “So, if it hadn’t been for you, I probably would be dead.”

His eyes drifted back to the painting.

“Besides, I’ve never seen a devil before,” she said. “I thought you looked quite impressive, so I guess I got inspired. You did say that you were an ‘admirer of the arts’, so I thought it could be compensation for saving my life.”

He was flattered, even though he would never admit it. He could not remember ever receiving a gift willingly from a mortal like this.

“Do you like it?” she asked softly, as if she was half-expecting a ‘no’.

“It’s beautiful,” he said with a nod. “You are quite talented, like I said when we first met.”

“It’s yours, if you want it,” she said with a smile.

“Thank you,” he said briefly, smiling back at her. He snapped his fingers and teleported the painting to a safe location in his house.

They were quiet for a moment. For once, Raphael was not sure what to say. There was no more business to talk about, but it also felt wrong to simply leave after receiving such a gift. It was Lucienna that ended up breaking the silence.

“So, do you paint?” she asked.

“No, I do not,” he answered and cleared his throat. “I’m afraid it is one of the few things that I have never sat down to properly learn. Although, I do see the appeal and I certainly do appreciate the art.”

“Do you want to learn?” she asked. “I’ve taught students before, you know…”

Although the idea of some mortal teaching him anything did not fill him with joy, he was tempted. Perhaps he could gain her trust and make her sign his deal anyway, as he had already wasted too much time on her. It also gave him an opportunity to study this odd mortal who did not seem to fear him.

“Hm,” he hummed in thought. “Yes, why not?”

They kept meeting in her father’s basement as Lucienna taught him how to paint. Raphael started enjoying the sessions. There was something about it. It brought him a sense of peace to paint. He did not mind the compliments to his progress either. She was good at teaching him without ever being condescending.

“You’re a natural at this, you know,” she said, leaning on his shoulder as she watched him work. “The only note I have is to work on the colors. This part isn’t actually red. It’s brown.”

She pointed to the bowl of fruit on the table.

“Are you telling me that red apples are not red?” Raphael said with a chuckle.

She smiled as she mixed some colors onto a piece of paper and held it next to the apple.

“That’s because you use your head too much and not your eyes,” she said. “This is painting. Not writing.”

Raphael huffed. She was right, of course. He could see when she held the paper next to it.

Whenever he practiced at home, it was always the same motif: her. He was determined to eventually pay her back for the gift she gave him. He noticed that Lucienna’s hair was not red either, but rather nuances of brown, orange, and gold. Her eyes were also not entirely green, but rather shades of brown, green and yellow.

Somewhere along the way, the contract was brought up more as an excuse to be in her presence, rather than him actually wanting her soul. In the end it was not brought up at all. Raphael knew that she was too stubborn to sign it anyway, and perhaps she was right: perhaps she was truly safe in this peaceful little haven away from everything.

He enjoyed her company, though he loathed to admit it. The way she would lean on his shoulder when she was watching him work. The way that she looked almost insane when she was deep in concentration, with a paintbrush in her mouth or stuck in her hair as she painted like her life depended on it. The way that they could be in each other’s presence for hours without even saying a word to each other.

He knew that she liked him, but for some reason he did not want to exploit it in the same way he had done with earlier clients. It would have been all too easy to manipulate her into a deal by playing on her feelings, yet he never did.

Lucienna became an indulgence. Someone to take him far way from the endless clients and the toiling for his ungrateful father. Away from all the devils in the Hells that loathed him and away from all the mortals that feared him. Just for a moment.

It was the day when he finally decided to give her the portrait that he had painted of her that their relationship furthered into unknown territory for Raphael.

After he had made endless excuses about him not being as talented as her, he had shown her the painting that he had been working endlessly on from home. Her face brightened up and she pulled him into a kiss. After the initial shock, he wrapped his arms around her and melted into it.

Raphael was far from new to the concept of sex, although those below the Archdevils were not supposed to indulge in such things. The difference was that most of his sexual experiences had been with the incubi and succubi of his father’s palace, or rehearsed manipulation tactics he had used to lure clients. Both of which were exceptions that were acceptable for a devil of his lower rank.

This was new and most definitely forbidden, because this bordered on that awfully mortal feeling: love. Sex with her was so different from the almost theatrical performance of the incubi and succubi that he had been with during his longer visits to his father. Raphael also found no desire to put on a rehearsed performance himself.

Sex with Lucienna was clumsy and imperfect in a highly intoxicating way. They got completely lost in each other and nothing else mattered in that moment. It was heated and passionate, but in such a genuine way that it took Raphael’s breath away.

When they were done, Lucienna rested her head on his chest. Raphael was brushing his fingers through her hair when he suddenly felt her tense up a bit.

“What is it?” he asked softly.

“Your heartbeat…” she said and pressed her ear to his chest again. “You don’t have one…”

Raphael chuckled and smiled.

“I don’t have a heart, dear,” he explained. “It works differently for devils.”

“Hm,” she said and nuzzled her head against his chest. “Maybe you don’t have a literal heart, but you won’t convince me that you don’t at least have one metaphorically.”

“Oh, how dare you?” Raphael chided jokingly. “I have a reputation to uphold.”

“Mm…you can’t fool me,” she said and smiled. “It is slightly unsettling though…To not hear anything when you expect to.”

“I’m sure,” he said, tracing the soft skin of her arms with his fingers.

She got off his chest to lay down on her back. She patted her chest with a hand, inviting him to lay down on it.

“Here, listen to mine,” she said with a smile.

Raphael hesitated. The vulnerability of such an act did not sit well with him, but he had quickly found that he had a hard time denying this woman of anything.

He put his head on her chest and listened to her heartbeat. She held him close and rested her chin on his head. It would have looked comical for an outsider to see this much bigger man being held by this small woman, but Raphael found that he did not care.

He would never admit it to anyone, but he felt safe. Loved even. Perhaps, for the first time in his long life. There was a feeling, a flutter, in the place where his heart would have been, had he been a mortal man. They fell asleep like that together.

When he finally returned to his house in Cania in the morning, it was difficult to wipe the smile from his face. He could not stop thinking about her. He sat down to write, to try and clear his mind and record this feeling of happiness that he had not tasted for years.

“Mephistopheles missed you last night,” a voice said.

Raphael looked up to find one of Mephistopheles’s warlocks leaned against the wall, watching him. Raphael had forgotten everything about the meeting that he had promised to attend.

“Care to explain?” the warlock asked.

“I was working, Lestor,” Raphael replied coldly.

“All night? What a dutiful boy you are,” Lestor said with that shit-eating grin that Raphael had gotten so used to seeing.

It took everything to not lose his temper and tear the warlock apart for having the nerve to call him ‘boy’. Raphael knew the consequences if he did. Mephistopheles enjoyed sending mortal warlocks to spy on his son, simply to remind Raphael that he was not even worth sending another devil for.

“There were complications,” Raphael said through gritted teeth. “Please, do send Mephistopheles my deepest apologies.”

“Complications, eh?” Lestor said with a knowing smile that made Raphael slightly paranoid. “I will make sure to tell him how deeply sorry you are. Remember that you are needed at the palace these next couple of days. Whatever ‘work’ you have can wait.”

Lestor left his house. Raphael’s paranoia grew when he was left alone. Lestor couldn’t have known, could he? He had been so careful, and no one knew where she lived…

There was nothing that Raphael could do about it now. He had to get through the next couple of days before he could return to her, or he would feel his father’s wrath.

Five days later, Raphael finally had time for himself, and he decided to visit the woman who had occupied his mind ever since he returned to the Hells.

The first sign that something was wrong was that the door to the house stood open. Lucienna’s father was a paranoid man who always locked his doors.

Not two steps into the house, was the old man that he had only spoken to a couple of times during his visits. He laid sprawled on the floor, ripped apart and covered in his own blood.

Raphael’s blood in his veins turned to ice, as he saw the sigil of the mercenaries of Westgate smeared in blood on the wall.

“No…” Raphael mumbled to himself and ran to the basement.

There she was. A paintbrush in her hair, exactly where she always put them when she was focused on working. Her green eyes, that weren’t really green, stared emptily up into the ceiling above her.

“No…no…” Raphael said and fell to his knees beside her.

He leaned his head down to her chest. He knew there was no way she would be alive with the way she had been torn apart, but he had to check. The comforting pitter-patter of her heart that he had fallen asleep to just five days earlier, was gone. Raphael cried for the first time in a millennium.

“I told you…you stubborn woman…” he said angrily and brushed his fingers gently through her red hair. “You weren’t safe…”

He held her in his arms while he sobbed. He was spiraling. The emotional walls that he had used hundreds of years to build up had crashed down around him, and for a moment he was experiencing a millennium worth of pure mortal grief and sadness all at once.

He looked at her. At all the paintings that were stacked around him. He noticed that the portrait he had given her had already been hung up on the wall, and it sent a sharp pain through his chest where his heart would have been.

His eyes finally locked unto the sigil that was painted with blood on the wall, with the words under it: “Westgate does not forget”. His sadness slowly boiled into anger. Anger overtook every ounce of his being when he heard a familiar grating voice behind him:

“Mephistopheles wants to talk to you, boy,” Lestor said.

He could practically hear the smug smile in the warlock’s voice. That little shit had known, and he had informed Westgate of her whereabouts. Something in Raphael snapped.

Raphael spent that afternoon doing unspeakable things to his father’s warlock. When he was done, he burned the whole house down. He burned the all the paintings in there, the mangled corpse of Lestor, Lucienna’s father, and Lucienna, the one woman who ever loved him. A part of Raphael burned away in that fire as well. If he could, he would happily have burned down to ash with them. He felt dead inside as he returned to Cania to face his father.

“You spit in my face by not showing up to our meetings and now you arrive late yet again. I sent Lestor to collect you five hours ago. Where is he?” Mephistopheles voice boomed throughout the throne room.

“Lestor is dead,” Raphael answered.

“Dead?” Mephistopheles asked in a dangerously low voice and leaned forward on his frozen throne. “Why? Because he did his job and informed me that you were too busy fucking mortals instead of doing your job of collecting their souls?”

Raphael inhaled slowly, trying to calm the rage inside him.

“I promise you, son,” Mephistopheles said the word ‘son’ as if it was a joke to him. “Fucking mortal women isn’t worth the headache. It’s how you end up with useless fucking half-breed bastards like you.”

Raphael swallowed hard and looked at the ground, as the devils in his father’s court snickered and laughed at him.

“You have high thoughts about yourself,” Mephistopheles said. “But let me remind you that you are not even close to a rank where you are entitled to stick your cock in anything or to keep consorts! Those privileges are reserved for Archdevils exclusively, which you are not. The only reason you are alive, is because I see use for you. I will not tolerate you getting distracted from your purpose. You work for me! Is that clear?”

Raphael hated that his father could still make him flinch, just by yelling at him. He nodded.

“Yes, my lord,” Raphael said quietly, still grinding his teeth in frustration.

“Good, my boy,” Mephistopheles said with a smile that would make anyone uncomfortable.

Raphael bowed his head and turned to leave.

“One last thing,” Mephistopheles called out. “I have a gift for my little would-be lordling.”

Raphael took a deep breath and turned around. Whatever this was, it could not be good. Mephistopheles smirked at him and snapped his fingers. Someone entered the throne room and Raphael’s closed his eyes in embarrassment at the sight.

One of his father’s incubi that Raphael had slept with during one of his visits to the palace, walked through the door. They were wearing Raphael’s form. They sauntered into the room, wearing skimpy leather clothing.

The throne room was filled with roaring laughter. Even Mephistopheles was laughing from his frozen throne.

“A fitting consort for you, wouldn’t you say, boy?” Mephistopheles chuckled. “Since you only ever seem to think about yourself. Their name is Haarlep. Give it a few nights with them and you won’t even remember that little mortal bitch you seemed so obsessed with.”

Rage was threatening to overtake him. He wanted to kill every last laughing devil in the room. He wanted to give his father the most excruciating death he could think of. Raphael also knew that he was no match for any of them. He had to bide his time, and that time would come someday. He would make sure of it.

“What do you say then?” Mephistopheles said, looking down on him from his throne.

Raphael looked at the incubus with disdain and then at his father. Raphael wanted to say many things in that moment: That he would one day take his father’s throne. That Mephistopheles would one day cower at the feet of his son. That he did not care if he had to wait millennium after millennium for him to finally get his revenge.

Raphael took a deep breath and bit his tongue, though it took everything in him to do so.

“Thank you, my lord,” Raphael said through gritted teeth.

“Good boy,” Mephistopheles said with a smile. “Now get out of my sight. I hope you have learned something from this.”

Raphael was sitting in his bed, looking at the right-hand painting in his boudoir. The painting that Lucienna had gifted him all those years ago. He had spent so much money throughout the years on getting it carefully restored.

He couldn’t remember her face anymore, but he could remember all those colors he studied when he looked at her. Her red hair, that was not red, but rather nuances of brown, orange, and gold. Her eyes that were not entirely green, but rather shades of brown, green and yellow. He heard the sound of her heartbeat in his mind each time he went to rest.

When he looked at Tav, that stubborn whelp, he sometimes found himself wondering what her heartbeat sounded like. Wondering which colors he would use if he were to paint her hair and her eyes. And there it was again that flutter where his heart would have been if he had one. Lucienna’s words echoed in his mind.

“Maybe you don’t have a literal heart, but you won’t convince me that you don’t at least have one metaphorically.”

No. He didn’t and he couldn’t. That part of him was dead and gone and it would remain that way. Raphael shook his head and crushed that feeling in his chest. No more distractions. Not when he was so close to the crown. Not when he was so close to finally getting his revenge.

#writing #raphael the cambion #raphael bg3 #bg3 raphael #bg3 #baldur's gate 3

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wen-kexing-apologist · 2 years

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Heart's Vocalization Thoughts and Feelings

Hello and welcome to another round of Moonlight Chicken Posts That Literally No One @respectthepetty Specifically Asked For:

Heart Edition Round ?? i've lost count.

Mx. RTP may have gotten me hooked on red/blue through clothing but my first and truest love will always be lighting so I need everyone, but especially Professional Life Ruin-er Formerly Known as "Petty" (you're my best friend now, sorry I don't make the rules), to understand that this specific lighting ruined my life. Like on a cellular level, my body is a wasteland, my mind will never recover. Stepping in from the outside world, from Heart's world, Heart's life, Heart's home in to the rich, red, warmth of Li Ming's world, Li Ming's home. I've said it before, but I'll say it again, if my memory serves me correctly we never see Heart in warm lighting until the end of Episode 4, and we definitely don't see Heart in red lighting until Episode 5. Up until this point when Li Ming and Heart are together, there is always blue lighting on them, and especially when they are in Heart's home there is always a blue wash on the whole scene. So finally, finally we get red lighting babyyyyyy, fuck yeah!

Ok, sorry, I'm normal again.

Initial thoughts going in to the actual scene are as follows: 1. Stripes, my beloved! 2. Heart is so head over heels for Li Ming it's ridiculous.

Anyway, I love the small little smile that Heart has on his face here when Li Ming is essentially giving him an 'I told you so' to Heart about asking his Mom. I know that Li Ming sees Heart earlier on in the episode, but he isn't present for the conversation between Li Ming and his mother so regardless of whether he knows that Li Ming talked to her, I don't think he knows the specifics. But he follows this comment up with "You're smart. You can persuade her." Obviously he knows that something happened because Heart's mother has never listened to her son before, why would she start now?

So! Much! Red! Lighting! They are in love your honor. I am so grateful for every moment we get to see of Li Ming and Heart alone together having fun. They may be on the edge of adulthood, but there is still so much repressed youth in them that has been dying to get out and can't because it's been contained by parental shame, by the need to work to survive, by the nature of generational gaps and unsuccessful attempts to protect your loved ones.

When Heart and Li Ming are by themselves (with the exception of the post confrontation mental breakdown session in Ep. 5) there is so much joy between them. And look at Li Ming, he is so proud of himself here, for successfully persuading Heart's mother to let Heart leave the house. They don't have to sneak out anymore, Heart's parents are finally starting to understand that they can't make their son problem go away if they just keep Heart cooped up.

Once again like father-figure uncle like nephew, Li Ming has found himself a love interest that is also obsessed with the family cat. Honestly, this cat is living the dream, all he has to do all day is be held for approximately 30 seconds and get fed a fuck ton of treats. So far this scene is just very cute, Heart taking in his surroundings, attaching himself immediately to the cat, absolutely bathed in red light. And there is something so simple I love about the set up this moment brings to the important turning point that immediately follows...

Heart's holding the cat with both his hands. He can't text or sign.

Side Note: I am curious if Thai sign language has finger spelling.

And here we go! Heart speaks, not just vocalizes, it's not an exclamation of surprise, it's not a shuddering breath, or a sob. It's not a squeak or random sound Heart makes because he can't hear how loud he is being. Up until this point, every time we have heard a sound from Heart it has been unintentional. This is the first time we hear Heart speak. And importantly, he doesn't have to. He doesn't have to say anything. There isn't anything urgent, nothing that would require a sound to get Li Ming's immediately attention. He doesn't need to say Jimbo's name, literally right before this he looked at Li Ming and pointed to the cat. He could have ended the acknowledgement there. But he doesn't. He speaks. And he absolutely does not look at Li Ming while he does it. He keeps his eyes trained firmly on the cat in front of him.

I stole this gif from @earthpirapat because I don't know how to make them, and because I need anyone who reads this to see Li Ming's reaction in this moment. He is also looking at Jimbo, because he, like the audience, believes that Heart is going to end his acknowledgement of the cat's name by pointing to the cat. Li Ming is content to watch his friend play with his cat, and that's all he is expecting. Until "yyim-" tickles his ear, and Li Ming's head snaps straight up to Heart's face. You can tell how surprised he is at the way he pulls his head back a bit more to really look at Heart. To make sure that what just happened is actually real when he says "bo".

And I think it's important to know that Heart does not really seem hesitant to speak. He just...does it. What he is hesitant to do is look at Li Ming. He waits a full two seconds after he's said "Jimbo" to look up from the cat he is holding in his arms.

But he has nothing to worry about because when his eyes go to Li Ming, what does he see?

A puppy dog of a man, radiating excitement. Li Ming is beaming. It's funny to me a little bit that the thought has never seemed to cross Li Ming's mind that Heart, who only went deaf three years ago, is actually able to speak. But nevertheless he is thrilled.

"You can speak?" he asks, and he's chuckling a little and pausing and you can see all the gears in his head turning as he signs because it's like his whole worldview just got rocked. And GOD I love this moment so much because from the second that Heart speaks Li Ming's eyes never leave Heart. Or if they do it is literally an unconscious thing that is happening when he's trying to remember his signs. Heart puts Jimbo down and Li Ming literally folds his body in half, to follow Heart's movement, bends over to tap him on the shoulder. "Hey, you can speak?" he says again.

"Yeah? Can you speak again? I want to hear." he asks, and he's baffled. He's losing his signs. Like he is signing successfully to Heart, sure, but it's taking him much longer to create his sentence than it normally does because he's still in such shock over what just happened. That Heart can speak, that he heard his voice. His brain cannot keep up with his emotions.

The face of a man verrryyyy skeptical that his voice would be that exciting for anyone to hear.

"I"

"Want"

"To Hear"

"Your Voice"

I have no thoughts. I have no notes for this. It is just an incredibly powerful moment to me in furthering Li Ming as a safe zone for Heart, as someone trusted and precious. Each sign is deliberate. This is a deliberate request. This isn't a question built on surprise, "wait wait do it again" this is specific. "I want to hear your voice"

Look how pleasantly surprised Heart is. Look how happy, how bewitched he is in this moment. A few weeks back, I wrote a post analyzing Heart's communication. At the time I wrote it, I was doing a lot of speculating about Heart and his ability to talk and what it meant for the character if he could versus if he couldn't. The tl;dr version was me essentially wondering how much agency Heart has over his own isolation. Is he capable of talking and chooses not to to test the people around him, maintaining control of his own isolation, with speaking as a lifeline, or because Thai is a tonal language did he lose the ability to speak because not being able to hear might impede his ability to make distinct tones. Either way he has the ability to talk, it's a matter of whether or not he could be understood if he did vocalize his words.

I got a pretty quick reply from @littlederxxnged with a link to this Tweet quoting P'Aof and Heart's voice:

And if this quote is real, if the reason Heart doesn't speak is because he lacks the confidence to, this makes the scene all the more important and all the more wonderful for me. Because it's showing us, the audience, that Li Ming makes Heart feel confident. Li Ming makes Heart brave.

And I love that I don't get a sense of fear from Heart in any of this. Surprise? Yes. Confusion? Yes. Skepticism? A bit. Hesitation? Absolutely. But it doesn't seem to come from a place of fear. Heart is not afraid of using his voice around Li Ming, and he is never afraid of what Li Ming's reaction will be. He certainly has no idea what Li Ming's reaction will be, but it shows how much trust these two have built in one another, that Heart feels safe enough with Li Ming to test his voice.

I don't know if Heart will speak again the show. I don't care if he does. Speaking is not his primary language anymore and he doesn't owe his voice to anyone. I just want to establish that before I say I find it so much more special that Heart says his own name, rather than Li Ming's here. Why? Because the way I interpret Heart's character at this point is a man who is far more certain about what he wants out of life, now that he is able to live his life again. We get to hear Heart's name, we get to hear Heart speak for himself.

Something really cute about this moment as well is Li Ming's reaction. "I heard you just say your name!" I love that he signs to Heart what he heard. I love it so much. We know that Heart is hesitant to speak, and it takes him a second to get the word out, and I'm sure he can feel the vibrations of his vocal chords when he says his name, but he can't hear it. Li Ming is SO obviously happy, so obviously thrilled.

But this is about Heart, Li Ming's feelings have nothing to do with it. Okay, Li Ming's feelings have everything to do with it for Heart. But Li Ming's initial, gut-reaction response to hearing Heart, hesitantly say his name, is to hype the ever-loving FUCK out of that boy.

"You're great! You're awesome! How can you speak? You're so great. I'm happy." and GOD Heart can't even hear him say it. Li Ming isn't signing here, I mean he is very obviously happy, and very obviously showering Heart in praise. But Heart cannot hear him. For most of the hug he can't even read Li Ming's lips. But the pride, the joy, the excitement is so palpable. He's jumping up and down, you don't really need to hear his words to feel how happy he is about what just happened.

He pulls back "How could you do it? I'm happy. Can you see? I'm so happy," He is talking so fast. He is talking so so fast. He cannot contain himself. But he has integrated himself so much into Heart's life, that despite the fact that he is fully forgetting to sign here, he is touching Heart, he is jumping up and. down with Heart, he is showing Heart how much being trusted with his voice means to him.

Sweet baby angel, you are talking so fast. He sees a bunch of words coming out of your mouth but does not hear what you are saying. And he looks confused because he definitely did not anticipate this strong of a positive reaction to just saying his name. Especially when you consider he isn't confident in his voice. He looks confused because he almost certainly did not anticipate this outcome.

(Ignore the subtitles on that second picture, focus on Heart's smile)

Does Heart owe us his voice? No. Did we ever need to know if he could speak? No. Does this moment hit particular hard after the confrontation scene last episode concerning the use of the term "mute" in reference to Heart. Absolutely. We saw how much it hurt Heart to learn his mother refers to him as mute.

We know Heart has to beg Li Ming to even tell him what she said, Heart can see how much Li Ming hesitated to deliver that blow. He saw how strongly Li Ming was standing against his parents, he's a smart kid. He might not be able to follow the full conversation cause it's happening quickly, and they are shouting which fucks with lip shape to read lips, and Li Ming and his mother are both facing away from him. But he knows his mother said something bad, he knows Li Ming defended him.

It is so so so so so SO important to me that Heart decides to speak in this moment. That he uses his voice casually, to say a cat's name, in private, with just the two of them.

Heart's voice is not a commodity, it's not a novelty. It's a gift. And Li Ming treats it as such. Heart is being vulnerable with Li Ming. Heart hasn't spoken to anyone in three years, and when he does speak in front of Li Ming for the first time Li Ming literally cannot contain his joy. I love how many times the camera cuts to Heart's face in this, to show us to tell us that Heart loves this. That he is surprised by it, but that he is more than happy to speak again, that he is smiling the whole time because he knows how important it is to Li Ming. Because it's important to him too.

If you finished this whole post, congratulations you have won an invisible medal.

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