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#I dont think I ever posted this here but if I did forgive me LOL
ursiday · 10 months
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Sphynx dragon design from last year
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hartmannyoukaigirl · 7 months
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thinking abt this one interaction i had w my aunt where i said that i was involved in alot of drama and met rlly horrid ppl online and so she went "ooooh so thats why you say you hate people! of course online people are terrible!" ...compared to the actual angels irl who instead of being manipulative and hypocritical took the direct way of, yknow, physically bullying me and stealing my stuff and making even the teachers turn on me. yes. wow. what a difference. it's like im in hell comparing between torture demon #1 and torture demon #2
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smiggles · 7 months
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This is gonna be abit of a mouthful, but I need to get it off my chest now that years have passed and we've (hopefully you have too) matured by now.
I once looked up to you, but that was a very long time ago. The trauma you caused me is irreversible. tbf I used to be a brat and if I could go back in time to backhand my younger self I would, I own up to that. But I was only a teenager, still growing and learning about myself and how to talk to others properly. Turns out I was pretty much autistic, so communication wasn't my strong point at all back then.
But even then, your two-faced behavior of proudly shitting on and bragging about how much money you were ripping off the furry community, the people who actively supported you, loved your work and paid your bills, was appalling. I had every right to call you out on it. Instead of accepting it was wrong, you sent your roommates out like attack dogs to fight your battles, defend your toxic behavior and harass me. Every time I blocked them they would find a different site to attack me on. I struggled to make friends for years after that incident, I felt I couldn't trust anyone because of what you guys did.
Years passed, and I genuinely hoped you had changed for the better, only to see a callout post during pride of all times, about your grossly acephobic attitude. I had friends who were blocked by you and didn't understand why. You need to understand your damaging actions have severe affects on real people, and when you make public apologies, the people who comment saying they forgive you don't count if they weren't the ones hurt by you. They don't speak for those affected.
I'm not looking for an apology, even if given one I probably wouldn't accept it after all the damage you've done to me. I have zero interest in you being in my life again. I just wanted to give you this perspective to get it off my chest and for you to mull on, I want you to use it to improve yourself as a person moving forward. See the wrong in your actions, how badly it affects others, and make the choice to make things right.
But that's up to you now.
Hey, I know who this is an I want you to know that I think about you often.
Read more below
Sometimes your stuff shows up on my feed or someone shares something with me that youve made because we have common interests and I think to myself Im glad theyre doing well and I hope youre surrounded by people who support you. I dont say this as a way to like Save face because this is a public anon. I would say this to you in private if I could. I was a very nasty person years and years ago and no apology will take back the pain Ive caused others from that. Especially not you. But I am sorry. I wish things could have been different. I do. For the acephobia. Yes. I was acephobic and horrible about it. I hurt a lot of people from that and cant ever take that back but know that Ive learned a lot about how to treat others and unpack the internalized hatred towards my own ace'ness and how others present themselves. I also want to say I never sent my roommates on you. That was a choice they did on their own without my knowledge. I never ever want someone to go after anyone on my behalf and while it is likely hard to believe that those who have known me these past 5-6 years can vouch that as true. I have on multiple occasions asked my friends to leave people alone I end up disagreeing with. I never name drop people I dont get along with. I dont even tell people besides my very very private close friends about what happened between me and you and that might be about 3 or 4 people at most. As for blocking? I block very liberally LOL and its almost never personal. I block people for the smallest things just to curate my social media experience. If you ever wanted to reconnect and try again Im here. And I have no hatred in my heart. I have held myself accountable all these years for things I should have done better. Handled softer. In the end Truly. Im glad youve made a beautiful career out of something you love and no matter what happens between us I hope you continue to thrive. With all my heart.
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omgeto · 6 months
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I read your tags on the smut tips post so I’m here to ask, how do you write a good angst to fluff piece? 😌
idk what possessed me to say my angst to fluff pieces were my true calling BUT since thats what literally ALL my Haikyu fics are and all my non full smut fics are I might as well. AND I LOVE SHARING MY WISDOM I FEEL LIKE A GURU hehehehe.
FIND THE WRITE ANGST TO FLUFF BALANCE: like tbf this one is just down to personal preference of what you want to write. since at the end of the day angst to fluff fics are just fics that start with angst and end with fluff BUT imo to make it sweet and juicy you really need to find the write balance, have you ever read and fic and thought damn this barely had any angst or vice versa. so when it comes to writing NON smut angst to fluff fics I think depending on how heavy the angst is you wanna do like a 60% angst 40% fluff or 70% angst and 30% fluff. but this point kinda leads into my next one...
BALANCING UR SHIT RIGHT: so with this, I think the hardest part of writing angst to fluff fics is that you have to find a problem that angsty enough to be worth writing about but not TOO angsty that it makes the reader look dumb for forgiving the character and having a fluffy ending. to combat this, I usually just make the 'fluff' part of my endings the apology and always kind of imply or just straight out state that not EVERYTHING is cool but you'll work towards fixing it and you can still have a sweet moment come from that.
HOW TO WRITE A FLUFFY REUNION: since I realised that some people actually struggle writing the actual fluff part. but deep it if ur writing x reader fics you just gotta ask your self "if someone did *insert whatever angsty thing they did* to me, what would I want them to do to fix it" tbf half of the time the angst I write in my fics id dump a dude for, but when ur writing for the masses and writing a fluffy ending that cannot happen lol. but usually like just ask urself what you'd want and its 8/10 the right answer. but if u have no ideas then, just start with AN APOLOGY (surprise surprise) a heartfelt apology and some promises to do better and be better and all that lame soppy crap, THAT ALWAYS GOES A LONG WAY and then boom.
HOW TO WRITE ANGST: now I could do a whole separate post on how to write angst, since I actually think my angst is stellar. but so I dont bore you, I'll just say for me personally ITS ALL IN THE DIALGOUE. like yeah descriptions go a long with in any form of writing but for a real juicy piece of angst you have to make them verbally fight (or physically fight if u REALLY WANNA GO THERE but we do not beat up eachotehr so no thank you) but yes the key is in the dialogue like and it doesn't have to be long dialogue but a good back and forth argument which REAL EMOTION THATS WHAT COUPLES AND PEOPLE DO.
BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY MY OVERALL POINT IS JUST TRY AND MAKE IT REALISTIC. HOW? ASK YOURSELF "HOW WOULD I FEEL IF THIS HAPPENED TO ME" OBVIOUSLY SOMETIMES THE SITUATIONS ARE FAR FETCHED AS HELL BUT IT SEEMS U GUYS FORGET THAT UR ALSO HUMAN BEINGS JUST AS UR READERS ARE SO.... DO THAT AND ITLL ALL BE FUN.
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sasukeless · 11 months
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while i do think part of late stage naruto writing was just to wrap things up, sasuke completely forgiving itachi really just shows that he will always be the little brother. i mean not just logically lol like the personality, the little brother that looks up to his big brother and looks up to him and looks to him for guidance, regardless of how right or wrong it is. like yes sasuke was gonna attack konoha when its the opposite of what itachi wanted, but in the end its still influenced by his feelings for itachi (non rom. obviously). itachi can do whatever he wants or thinks he has to do and sasuke will forgive him. meanwhile you have itachi who also will always see sasuke as the little brother, emphasis on little, controlling him and what he does, up to the very end, never seeing sasuke as a grown person that can make his own decisions or even considering why sasuke does what he does, always clouded by his unquestioning loyalty to konoha. i think ironically people calling him a genius really fucked with his intelligence since he always thinks hes in the right (planning on brainwashing his own baby brother??).
i think it would be super interesting to see a what-if scenario where itachi survives post-war and continues this. probably not to the same degree but you cannot tell me he would just suddenly go 'ok sasuke i trust you know whats right for you:)' there is just no fucking way. and sasuke having the time and space to actually think about how his big brother is not right, not just pushing it aside to blow konoha up in grief and anger. like actually getting to work these things out and. idk where im going with this. feel free to reply publicly
u really read my mind like to me itachi the worst case of Older Sister u will ever see but sasuke also is the worst case of little sister when u actually stop to think it through because he reallyyyy would forgive itachi for all and i cant say that doesnt makes sense. im a middle child but for the longest time i was the little sister and i know whats being on the spot of forgiving the worst things from my sister does even when i KNOW i wouldnt forgive that from anyone else (not to trauma dump here but i was literally outed by my own sister to my parents horribly and even if its one of my worst memories like Ever. i really forgave her the second she did it). like of course in sasuke and itachi’s case is soooo far worse and their power dynamic is so much more messed up but it makes complete sense to me i cant lie about that. and also i find their relationship one of the most compelling things in the manga along with sns because of that. its horrible but god if its not gut-wrenching. sasuke will ALWAYS deserve better in my eyes but his love for itachi is so so big and unfortunately for him itachi also loves him the same his problem is that his way of loving sasuke is soooo bad, that in the end even if its sad to see sasuke losing his brother a second time itachi dying is the Best outcome for both cus had he kept living his way to love sasuke would just have continued to mess with sasuke’s life. Like youre so rightt had itachi survived post war he wouldve NOT been suddenly become the best brother thats just not how he ever was w sasuke, even if he didnt saw it he wouldve kept trying to make sasuke follow the life path he puts for him, but also like u said i think w itachi alive and sasuke himself growing up he wouldve also on his own began to put his foot down too to itachi Worst Older Sister syndrome. because the thing about grief is that when u lose someone you love you dont want to think of the bad memories so it makes sense after itachi’s death sasuke refuses to think badly of him even if he has all the reasons, and keeps him STILL on that pedestal of older brother and its insane but like i said. i get it
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leastniceperson · 1 year
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tbh i was way less insane about this before one of my so called fucking friends basically sent me a love letter on anon and triggered a panic attack that took me offline for like 3 days and then only admitted to it after i finally answered the ask and said how much it upset me. like. that really shattered my trust in making any new friends on here tbh. ive always been kind of avoidant in terms of direct interaction with people (i talk a lot in my posts but im bad at actual conversations outside of like 3 ppl lol) but its. Bad. now. dont think im ever gonna forgive that ex friend for that. she knew what she was doing was wrong and that it was crossing a line and she still fucking did it.
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a-little-revolution · 2 years
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hey there, i saw your post from a while ago about taking breaks throughout the day if you need to, to save spoons.
do you have any suggestions about how to do this at school or something like that, where i dont have the oppurtunity to leave or use my phone?
also, what do you generally do to rest?
feel free to ignore the questions u dont want to answer
Hello!! Navigating disability and rest in a high school setting can be challenging, since the system in place doesn't allow for much wiggle room when it comes to schedule, nor did I find it to lend itself to accommodations. My high school experience is dated by about eight years, but here are my suggestions for finding rest as you attend class:
Firstly, I'd recommend you pack a bag with all your low-spoon essentials: pain meds, braces, portable heat packs, comfort items, candy etc. Whatever may help you with your pain or fatigue, have it on hand. Some teachers may allow you to leave a bag in their classroom, but make sure it's in a secure place.
Take special ownership over any time that is yours - lunchtime and breaks of course, but also any time for silent work or lectures. Bring headphones for background noises or find joyful tasks to do - take the opportunity to relax your mind. Eat lunch in an art room or someplace with a couch - for me it was the social worker's office - and bring friends!
Think about your need for rest when building your I.E.P (individual education plan). Try to negotiate scheduled breaks - reach out to your individual teachers if the school board says no, for they may be more accommodating. I had several teachers who'd allow me to leave the class in the event of a mental-health related need, where I'd then find a quiet place to sit for a while. IEPs should be consistently updated and negotiated. Know your rights as a disabled student (U.S) and if that is ever insufficient, take it upon yourself to meet your needs. No amount of high school academia will ever be worth more than your health and well being.
"also, what do you generally do for rest?"
Well rest can mean different things for me, as not only am I a spoonie with chronic pain, but I am also autistic with cptsd.
Physically I often need full days of rest, wherein I spend most of the day on the couch. And since most of my hobbies and work can be done seated, it's not much of a hindrance on my day to day.
Mental rest can be a bit tougher, but I try to set myself up with mental health days whenever I can - days where my mindfulness is centered around mental healing and self love. These days can be filled with things that make me happy, or lean more on the productive side to get me in a better mindset. Either way, the goal is to be kind, forgiving, and patient with myself.
I like to take what I call "autism naps" which aren't usually naps at all, but times where I go to bed to destim. I usually have my weighted blanket and plushies, and like to listen to lofi or restful music. Same goes if I've had a cptsd episode or a memory resurface, as it's great for grounding. Naps are also necessary when my spoons are low or my pain is high - in that case I'll often bring candy to bed lol
-Elliot (they/them)
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kayoi1234 · 5 months
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*still vibrating*
there's people who meta-vote, aka what happened in t1: it's when instead of voting according to forgiveness and personal opinion, you vote according to: - probable outcomes of verdicts - the public opinion going around and how much it is agreed on - what you think will happen to other characters if the current prisoner is judged forgiven/unforgiven
in t1 the reasoning was that by voting her unforgiven, it'd make her realize that shes doing bad things/the cult is wrong or something with "tough love", well guess what!! that only reaffirmed her more!!! because though love is exactly what the cult used on her!!!!!
also that bit about shidou: yeah he wont get shanked Now, but people still worry about her sabotaging his stuff. in the t2 voice drama she get her hands on scissors, hides them in her long sleeves, and tries to attack es (who is by all means untouchable if the intent of the prisoner is to cause harm), and while attacking other prisoners while es is awake is (iirc) impossible, who knows what she'll do between trials when theyre asleep for (probably) months !! she got the fucking scissors from a supply closet !! who knows what else is in there!!! (i havent read minigram but iirc they talk about it there? dont take my word for it)
meta voting Also happened to shidou, who has an interesting dilemma regarding his judgement: while he still thinks he shouldn't be forgiven, he sees how much he's needed in the prison (Triage: "Shall I fulfill your request and elect to live / ... / See, indispensable, I’m indispensable") and directly asks to be forgiven Because, after loosing his family, he has a reason to live again!! (Triage: "I want to be [forgiven], I want to live!" / "That’s right, there are lives that need safeguarding / So hey, prolong my life, I’m indispensable") all of that, regardless of what he actually did, got him a forgiven judgement anyway!!
it also happened to mikoto in t1 to a lesser extent (and i hesitate calling this meta-voting): tiktok people happened to found MeMe, saw the bathroom scenes, "damn he's hot *votes forgiven*". didnt really matter cuz his t1 ration is 31,57% forgiven to 68,43% unforgiven
this post got derailed but i hope you enjoy getting paragraphs from me first thing in the morning *hits send*
One: the beauty of being Australian is that whilst it might be morning for you it is like 7:20PM here so I am at the Exact Right Time to process new information
Two: Meta voting is such a wild concept and yet it is the exact thing that happens in real life when we vote for politicians lmao art imitates life or whatever lol.
But also it’s really funny that people did it the first time round with Amane, found out it didn’t work, and yet there are still people going “well maybe it’ll work a second time?” With the same amount of confidence as the person who planted bamboo in the ground and said “It’s not going to grow everywhere!”
Anyways also Shidou is real interesting because i’m ninety percent sure this isn’t going to do wonders for his mental health lol rip Dr Malpractice maybe you shouldn’t have stolen all those organs.
(Also poor Mikoto man. Wakes up in prison told he’s killed someone yet he can’t remember shit, gets called a murderer when he explicitly remembers Not Doing That, then the ps5 in his brain tells him he’s hot but also a killer and hey there’s another guy in here but no one ever tells him about the other guy in there because no one knows whats gonna happen if they do that all because some kid with twitch chat also in their brain ran a poll on some funky music video they got out of his head and went “Well sorry dude but unforgiven I guess”.
Also maybe there are actually three mikotos which is. You know the depths of the boy surely knows no bounds.)
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trinkerichi · 1 year
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rambling silliness about cartoons (but the not fun kind of silly)
hgfhjghk forgive me for speaking of this nonsense but my sphere of twitter is exploding with discourse over that hazbin hotel hell boss show and how bad it apparently sucks and it's making me soooo much more glad i didn't stake my career on my interest in cartoons cuz god. imagine having to keep up with all that for the sake of keeping connections for the most competitive career ever. you cant say a WORD bad about that show without fifty billion superfans acting like you're calling for the downfall of independent animation, and then a bunch of randos threatening to blacklist you from one of the 3 animation jobs that exist in the world. i dont have time for that wth. taking 4 years worth of high level math classes wasnt that painful.
AND DONT GET ME WRONG. i have NO room to talk being the resident "still an osomatsu fan in 2023" lady. if you like the show i am not judging you in the slightest. i dont think a person's choices in funny cartoons is indicative of their character. but it took me about 2 minutes of watching it to know it was very very VERY much not my thing. its the type of show i would have loved for exactly 2 months in 9th grade when I thought I was cool and rebellious for watching panty&stocking even though I didn't even understand most of the raunchier jokes. which im positive is the target audience, and the main reason the show is so popular, since there's not much content out there clamoring for that demographic's attention lol.
is anyone here old enough to remember when adding the caption "Raep face!!" to a smirking anime character screencap was a big le funney meme? all that awful stuff about France from Hetalia being a funny scamp for sexually harassing everyone? it reminds me of that. newly rebranded edge. every joke that people post clips of is "HAHA THEY'RE GAY! they're gay men who have sex and are gay isnt it FUNNY? and the invader zim guy said a swear!" except this one also has sad backstories so they can get ANGST too! it's the full package!
and see like. I DO understand the appeal! It's unashamed dumb 14 year old's fanfic level fun. (without getting into the harmful stereotypes.) but you've gotta have a LITTLE self awareness of that, right? i love a lot of shows that have massive problems but im not gonna just blow up at everyone who points them out! but i can only even say this freely because im not trying to build industry connections cuz that sphere is SO tight knit. woosh.
im glad for all it did for indie animation! ...i dont have a point here it just made me have thoughts. i wish for peace for all of my animator friends cuz public relations on the internet is nuts.
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steelycunt · 1 year
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ridi ridi hiiii !!! how are youuu how was yr dayyy i started mine off by rereading yr otiofad ficc did you know every sentence in it is a masterpiece did you know every word is like worthy of an auditoriumesque applause now yk i wanted to ask you to talk about that particular bit tho (if you wouldn't mind ofc !!) where sirius slams the book shut on an insect bc it's sooo like it's sooo !! it reads like premonition and also like r can't help but be wary of s and s can't help but be just like capable of harm regardless of intention & carelessly and i think it's sooo genius I think yr soooo genius for that and if you have more to say abt what that bit meant to youu + process of writing it + foreshadowing you wanted to get across w it etc. etc. i would be vv interested to hear <333 mwah love you loads xx
hello my lovely omg!!! my day was GOOD actually surprisingly good i am recovering from my illnesses and i played badminton and ate tangerines it was a very content day!! how was yours!! also warning you now in advance i wrote way too long a reply to this. like WAY too long NOBODY needed this im so sorry!! the very final paragraph provides like a little tl;dr you DO NOT need to read the essay that is under the cut!! im so sorry!!
okay firstly the idea that someone would not only read one of my little stories but read it more than once?? crazy actually!! insane!! so glad that it could be a part of ur morning n i would love to talk abt it!! hang on opening it in a new tab rn let me remember what it was i actually wrote huh lol
firstly with the flashback scenes in otiofad in general they had to serve two different purposes. they obviously needed to show the intense love and intimacy between the boys prior to The Incident, in order to juxtapose the post-prank scenes and serve as a marker for measuring the size of the rift in their relationship that its caused (which is why theres lots of kissing and cuddling and cloying monologues in the flashback scenes), but at the same time they had to demonstrate the little parts of their relationship which are a little bit fucked! a little bit unhealthy and obsessive. and they had to portray sirius as a person who has the capacity to do what he ends up doing. i didnt want to accidentally work against myself by over-idealizing their relationship to the point where it became difficult to believe sirius could be so thoughtless as to do what he does. like if ive just made you read fifteen hundred words of him being the Best Boyfriend Ever and then switch to him begging forgiveness for an attempted murder, his character becomes a little disjointed, and i really wanted it to feel like you're consistently reading the same people, just in very different circumstances. so the flashbacks very much needed to stress their intensity rather than their health as a couple.
im definitely roaming beyond the parameters of your question (but i promise it all circles back xx) but some of the sort of. i dont want to say red flag as much as cause for concern moments that i tried to include especially in the flashbacks include for instance: [Sirius says that sort of thing often, and with a confidence that Remus cannot ever fathom. Good god, how he would like to ask Sirius, them or me, that or me, and never fear the answer.] in the first scene, because i think remus' low self-esteem and his insecurity definitely affects their relationship + how he perceives it, which isn't anyone's fault as much as it is just them being young and imperfect like. theyre like sixteen here nobody had it together when they were sixteen right :-/ you have sirius utterly utterly obsessed with being in love with remus declaring that he doesnt want anything else from life and he's. sixteen years old. he's got no idea. like its that sort of rashness and impulsivity when he's speaking and acting which ends up fucking him over :-/
TO GET BACK to the bit you actually asked about (im so sorry for how long this is <3) the part where he closes the book on the spider. i mean honestly ur interpretation in the ask is pretty spot on!! its another one of the little stitches in the flashback scenes that sort of...slightly changes/sobers/brings the tone back down the reality a little, after theyve spent most of the scene cuddling and kissing etc. i'd already sort of tried (and i want to emphasise try at every point in this answer sfdghsh because i am not necessarily claiming that any of this was necessarily successful lol) to show sirius' capacity for being rash and obsessive, and the spider moment was just this tiny act of unnecessary, arguably cruel? violence that was meant to be jarring against the very over-sweet and gentle affection he's just shown remus. and although theyre acts of violence on such different scales, he gives just as much thought to sending snape to the willow as he does to squashing the spider. one of the things about sirius that i love soooo much is his relationship with violence and the way his anger translates into violence and cruelty (which remus mentions in the final scene when he says “You’ve got to stop being the kind of person who hurts people when they’re angry.”). its why hes SO fun to write angry because his anger is so distinctive lol. so the spider moment is just meant to serve as a little reminder of this random, mindless aggression that sirius carries around with him and that exists in tandem with all the affection we've seen him show remus, who starts in surprise when sirius slams the book shut. (i'll let u in on a super little fun (or not) fact that in my head when i was writing it i always drew a little parallel between the twitching insect leg thats left on the page and the similarly uncomfortable sensation of the eyelash that remus feels scratching his own eye immediately afterwards. thats not necessarily meant to come across n i expect it doesnt because i didnt develope the idea...at all...but in my head they were always a little linked teehee like even sirius' smallest acts of violence still have an effect on remus somehow xx)
but yeah!! apologies i didnt think this would be such a long explanation for a simple question fbhsdfhs im very embarrassed by this but like!! in short the spider was another little jarring moment designed to tether the version of sirius you get in the flashback to the version you get in the post-prank scenes, because ultimately he's the same guy with the same flaws both before and after the prank!! there was no reason for him to kill the spider like that and thats why hes so fucked. it was just his instinctive response to seeing it there.
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neutralbardicmess · 2 years
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Hey, I know that this isn't your responsibility or anything, you don't owe me anything especially not your time. I just want to give my perspective on the whole concept that it's swedish culture to not invite people to dine with them for dinner.
Bottom line is; I have never heard of it.
I'm swedish and seeing any posts about it just makes me go "what the heck are you guys talking about?" That have never happened to me, and so I asked everyone I know who is swedish — everyone answered the same; no one have ever been made to go without food as those viral posts describe.
I have no idea what those people are talking about. If they were made to go without food that's horrible and messed up. But I don't think that's Swedish culture.
Once again though, it is not your responsibility to hear me out... And yeah leaving people to go without food like they describe is horrid so by all means shame them.
I just wanted to provide at least the option of another perspective. It's kind of confusing to be implicitly called an child abuser because I'm swedish, just because some choice few people decided their experience was swedish culture.
I've never, would never, and will never make somebody's sit out on food. And neither have I experienced it, nor have my friends, in our 20+ years living in Sweden. I don't know what else to do, I can't really rectify this wrong because this "wrong" never really happened in the first place so how do I atone for a crime I never did? I feel kind of bad for burdening you with this. You're just a stranger on the internet, reblogging what is funny memes and I assume you think you're advocating against leaving people without food. I can't blame you for that.
I'm sorry, this is very entitled of me... If you read it all I appreciate you giving my words at least the time for that, and I hope you can forgive me for this rather selfish vent. If you didn't, that's fine too, you don't owe me anything. Regardless I hope you have a good day!
ur all good ! I dont really get asks of any kind so this is kinda new lol
ive honestly been on this hellsite long enough to not really believe most of the things i see on here bc 9 times out of 10 its just someone being a jackass---- I appreciate the input/concern though! considering i am also a jackass trying to be funny on here, i prefer getting called on my shit that way i can do better moving forward!
Tho at this rate if someones on here for a little while and their still gullible enough to fall for shitposts like the sweden thing thats going around,,,, its kind of on them? this place is a godless wasteland and they should know better akcjaknc
that being said, as long as it stays as a harmless joke i dont see an issue? but if it ends up escalating past that then ill prob just delete the posts
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shkspr · 3 years
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hi. on your post where you may or may not have ended on 'moffat is either your angel or your devil' did you have maybe an elaboration on that somewhere that i could possibly hear about. i'm very much a capaldi era stan and i've never tried to defend the matt smith era even though it had delightful moments sometimes so i wonder where that puts me. i'd love to hear your perspective on moffat as a person with your political perspective. -nicole
hi ok sorry i took so long to respond to this but i dont think you know how LOADED this question is for me but i am so happy to elaborate on that for you. first a few grains of salt to flavor your understanding of the whole situation: a. im unfairly biased against moffat bc im a davies stan and a tennant stan; b. i still very much enjoy and appreciate moffat era who for many reasons; and c. i hate moffat on a personal level far more than i could ever hate his work.
the thing is that its all always gonna be a bit mixed up bc i have to say a bunch of seemingly contradictory things in a row. for instance, a few moffat episodes are some of my absolute favorites of the rtd era, AND the show went way downhill when moffat took over, AND the really good episodes he wrote during the rtd era contained the seeds of his destruction.
like i made that post about the empty child/the doctor dances and it holds true for blink and thats about it bc the girl in the fireplace and silence in the library/forest of the dead are good but not nearly on the same level, and despite the fact that i like them at least nominally, they are also great examples of everything i hate about moffat and how he approached dw as a whole.
basically. doctor who is about people. there are many things about moffats tenure as showrunner that i think are a step up from rtd era who! actual gay people, for one! but i think that can likely be attributed mostly to an evolving Society as opposed to something inherent to him and his work, seeing as rtd is literally gay, and the existence of queer characters in moffats work doesnt mean the existence of good queer characters (ill give him bill but thats it!)
i have a few Primary Grievances with moffat and how he ran dw. all of them are things that got better with capaldi, but didnt go away. they are as follows:
moffat projects his own god complex onto the doctor
rtd era who had a doctor with a god complex. you cant ever be the doctor and not have a god complex. the problem with moffats era specifically is that the god complex was constant and unrepentant and was seen as a fundamental personality trait of the doctor rather than a demon he has to fight. he has the Momence where you feel bad for him, the Momence where he shows his humility or whatever and youre reminded that he doesnt want to be the lonely god, but those are just. moments. in a story where the doctor thinks hes the main character. rtd era doctor was aware that he wasnt the main character. he had to be an authority sometimes and he had to be the loner and he had to be sad about it, but he ultimately understood that he was expendable in a narrative sense.
this is how you get lines like “were the thin fat gay married anglican marines, why would we need names as well?” from the same show that gave you the gut punch moment at the end of midnight when they realize that nobody asked the hostess for her name. and on the one hand, thats a small sticking point, but on the other hand, its just one small example of the simple disregard that moffat has for humanity.
incidentally, this is a huge part of why sherlock sucked so bad: moffats main characters are special bc theyre so much bigger and better than all the normal people, and thats his downfall as a showrunner. he thinks that his audience wants fucking sheldon cooper when what they want is people.
like, ok. think of how many fantastic rtd era eps are based in the scenario “what if the doctor wasnt there? what if he was just out of commission for a bit?” and how those eps are the heart of the show!! bc theyre about people being people!! the thing is that all of the rtd era companions would have died for the doctor but he understood and the story understood that it wasnt about him.
this is like. nine sending rose home to save her life and sacrifice his own vs clara literally metaphysically entwining her existence w the doctor. ten also sending rose with her family to save her life vs river being raised from infancy to be obsessed w the doctor and then falling in love w him. martha leaving bc she values herself enough to make that decision vs amy being treated like a piece of meat.
and this is simultaneously a great callback to when i said that moffats episodes during the rtd era sometimes had the same problems as his show running (bc girl in the fireplace reeks of this), and a great segue into the next grievance.
moffat hates women
he hates women so fucking much. g-d, does steven moffat ever hate women. holy shit, he hates women. especially normal human women who prioritize their normal human lives on an equal or higher level than the doctor. moffat hated rose bc she wasnt special by his standards. the empty child/the doctor dances is the nicest he ever treated her, and she really didnt do much in those eps beyond a fuck ton of flirting.
girl in the fireplace is another shining example of this. youve got rose (who once again has another man to keep her busy, bc moffat doesnt think shes good enough for the doctor) sidelined for no reason only to be saved by the doctor at the last second or whatever. and then youve got reinette, who is pretty and powerful and special!
its just. moffat thinks that the doctor is as shallow and selfish as he is. thats why he thinks the doctor would stay in one place with reinette and not with rose. bc moffat is shallow and sees himself in the doctor and doesnt think he should have to settle for someone boring and normal.
not to mention rose met the doctor as an adult and chose to stay with him whereas reinette is. hm. introduced to the doctor as a child and grows up obsessed with him.
does that sound familiar? it should! bc it is also true of amy and river. and all of them are treated as viable romantic pairings. bc the only women who deserve the doctor are the ones whose entire existence revolves around him. which includes clara as well.
genuinely i think that at least on some level, not even necessarily consciously, that bill was a lesbian in part bc capaldi was too old to appeal to mainstream shippers. like twelve/clara is still a thing but not as universally appealing as eleven/clara but i am just spitballing. but i think they weighed the pros and cons of appealing to the woke crowd over the het shippers and found that gay companion was more profitable. anyway the point is to segue into the next point, which is that moffat hates permanent consequences.
moffat hates permanent consequences
steven moffat does not know how to kill a character. honestly it feels like hes doing it on purpose after a certain point, like he knows he has this habit and hes trying to riff on it to meme his own shit, but it doesnt work. it isnt funny and it isnt harmless, its bad writing.
the end of the doctor dances is so poignant and so meaningful and so fucking good bc its just this once! everybody lives, just this once! and then he does p much the same thing in forest of the dead - this one i could forgive, bc i do think that preserving those peoples consciousnesses did something for the doctor as a character, it wasnt completely meaningless. but everything after that kinda was.
rory died so many times its like. get a hobby lol. amy died at least once iirc but it was all a dream or something. clara died and was erased from the doctors memory. river was in prison and also died. bill? died. all of them sugarcoated or undone or ignored by the narrative to the point of having effectively no impact on the story. the point of a major character death is that its supposed to have a point. and you could argue that a piece of art could be making a point with a pointless death, ie. to put perspective on it and remind you that bad shit just happens, but with moffat the underlying message is always “i can do whatever i want, nothing is permanent or has lasting impact ever.”
basically, with moffat, tragedy exists to be undone. and this was a really brilliant, really wonderful thing in the doctor dances specifically bc it was the doctor clearly having seen his fair share of tragedy that couldnt be helped, now looking on his One Win with pride and delight bc he doesnt get wins like this! and then moffat proceeded to give him the same win over and over and over and over. nobody is ever dead. nobody is ever unable to be saved. and if they are, really truly dead and/or gone, then thats okay bc moffat has decided that [insert mitigating factor here]*
*the mitigating factor is usually some sort of computerized database of souls.
i can hear the moffat stans falling over themselves to remind me that amy and rory definitely died, and they did - after a long and happy life together, they died of old age. i dont consider that a character death any more than any other character choosing to permanently leave the tardis.
and its not just character deaths either, its like, everything. the destruction of gallifrey? never mind lol! character development? scrapped! the same episode four times? lets give it a fifth try and hope nobody notices. bc he doesnt know how to not make the doctor either an omnipotent savior or a self-pitying failure.
it is in nature of doctor who, i believe, for the doctor to win most of the time. like, it wouldnt be a very good show if he didnt win most of the time. but it also wouldnt be a very good show if he won all of the time. my point is that moffats doctor wins too often, and when he doesnt win, it feels empty and hollow rather than genuinely humbling, and you know hes not gonna grow from it pretty much at all.
so like. again, i like all of doctor who i enjoy all of it very much. i just think that steven moffat is a bad show runner and a decent writer at times. and it is frustrating. and im not here to convince or convert anyone im just living my truth. thank you for listening.
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untamedficrecs · 2 years
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Do u by any chance have anymore de-age aus?
Of course! Here are a few! 
grow by cafecliche 
Rating: Teen & up | Post Canon | Status: Complete | One Shot | Word Count:  14444 Pairing: Lan Wangji x Wei Wuxian 
☆ Wei Wuxian de-ages in this fic! 
Author’s Summary: “Okay,” Jingyi says, as Sizhui puzzles this out aloud. “Okay! So the demon has been turning its victims into children.” “I think so,” Sizhui says. “To make them easier prey,” Jingyi says. “Yes,” Sizhui says. “So—” Jingyi’s voice cracks here, “this kid is Senior Wei.”
Wei Wuxian, still tangled in his own massive robes, blinks politely at them.
(Or: Wei Wuxian is cursed on a night-hunt, and the junior quartet rapidly finds themselves in over their heads.)
☆ personal comments: this is literally one of my all time favorite fics ever. i dont think ive recommended it yet, but when you said de-age fics this is the first one that comes to mind. its so well written and cute and somewhat sad but also not really sad?? the point is, if you haven’t already read this fic then you definitely should! 
 silver & gold by beeswaxing 
Rating: Explicit | Post Canon | Status: Complete | Chapters: 14 | Word Count:  161,770 Pairing: Lan Wangji x Wei Wuxian 
☆ Wei Wuxian de-ages in this fic!
Author’s Summary: Wandering through a rather busy night market on the boundaries of Gusu after a successful night hunt, Wei Wuxian with his son and nephew chance on a mysterious cultivator who rivals him at talismans. Curious as to the wares she has spread out over her table, he forgets the simple rule - you break it, you buy it. AKA Wei Wuxian gets turned into a child and because it is Wei Wuxian, no one has any idea what to expect.
---
“Pretty-gege.” SiZhui flushes at the doe eyes shining at him. “A-Ying is prettier,” he replies without thinking. “You know my name?” “We are family.” “Oh…” the boy scrunches his nose, his expression vaguely apologetic. “But I don’t know your name.” “It’s ok. You can call me…” SiZhui pauses for a moment at the sudden lump in his throat. He clears it, his voice rough with emotion. “You can call me Yuan-gege.”
☆ personal comments: another personal favorite of mine. a must read if you haven’t read it! 
how do i forgive myself (for losing so much time) by thunderwear
Rating: Mature | Post Canon | Status: Complete | One shot | Word Count: 26000 Pairing: Lan Wangji x Wei Wuxian 
☆ Lan Xichen de-ages in this fic! ☆ This fic also a part of a series so definitely check out the other parts!
Author’s Summary: When Wei Wuxian burst through the doors, sitting on Lan Zhan’s lap, chewing on the strings of his forehead ribbon, was a baby.
“Please help me,” Lan Zhan said.
☆ personal comments: another personal favorite of mine (lol at this point all of them are a favorite) but this fic is so very good. the series is also very good so check the rest out as well. there is a lot of focus on the developing and mending of relationships + some fluff with baby xichen! overall a really good fic! 
sugar stains by lanjingyeet
Rating: Teen & up | Post Canon? | Status: Complete | One Shot | Word Count: 18243 Pairing: Lan Wangji x Wei Wuxian
☆ Wei Wuxian de-ages in this fic!
Author’s Summary: Jiang Wanyin’s face slowly takes on a kind of horrified expression that Lan Wangji would find funny if it wasn’t for the fact of the actual situation. He’s clearly noticing all the same things Lan Wangji did that first time: the same slope of nose, the light in the eyes, the messy mop of hair. 
Jiang Wanyin, after all, was far better acquainted with Wei Ying around this age than Lan Wangji was."Hanguang-jun, what the f—”
☆ personal comments: its been a while since i’ve read this fic but if i remember correctly it was pretty good! so def give it a check out! 
way back by little_dimples
Rating: Teen & up | Time Travel AU | Status: Complete | One Shot | Word Count:  19447 Pairing: Lan Wangji x Wei Wuxian 
☆ Wei Wuxian de-ages in this fic!
Author’s Summary: In which Wei Wuxian gets turned into a child- gets thrown through three different universes and ages up in each of them but still manages to find his way back to Lan Zhan.
☆ personal comments: this is just a super fun read that mixes all 3 universes by mxtx and is just an all around pretty good fic! plus wwx getting the love he deserves? sign me up! 
the next few im going to add i personally haven’t read yet, but i figured i would add them just in case!
undeniably, you by HamsterQinghua
Rating: Teen & up | Post Canon | Status: Complete | Chapters: 15 | Word Count:  28224 Pairings: Lan Wangji x Wei Wuxian | Jiang Cheng x Lan Xichen
☆Jiang Cheng de-ages in this fic!
Author’s Summary: Jiang Cheng can tell something is wrong when he sees Jin Ling's face.
---
or, Jiang Cheng gets cursed on a night-hunt, and turns into a 5-year-old
.
send me your earnest love by goneforthestars
Rating: Teen & up | Post Canon | Status: Complete | Chapters: 11 | Word Count: 13407 Pairing: Lan Wangji x Wei Wuxian 
☆ Lan Wangji de-ages in this fic!
Author’s Summary: Distraught would be a bit of an understatement for the way that Lan Sizhui is feeling right now. It’s the dead of night, they’re surrounded by the unmoving bodies of once fierce corpses—and his father has turned into a baby.
“…What do we do with it?” Jin Ling says with a scrunched nose.
“Don’t call him an ‘it!’ That’s Hanguang-jun!” Jingyi retorts, arms crossed.
.
keep me safe by netrixie
Rating: Not Rated | Canon Divergence | Status: Complete | Chapters: 6 | Word Count: 15122 Pairings: Lan Xichen x Nie Mingjue | Lan Wangji x Wei Wuxian 
☆ Nie Mingjue de-ages in this fic!
Author’s Summary: “A-Sang,” Lan Huan greets, and Mingjue turns to look at him. Lan Huan smiles reassuringly, then inclines his head towards the newcomer. “This is Mingjue.”
A-Sang hesitates, then inhales sharply before smiling at Mingjue. It’s a nice smile, and something in Mingjue tells him, you’re safe here, with them, and he smiles back.
“It is a pleasure to meet you,” Mingjue says seriously, because Mother would be upset with him if he wasn’t polite. “My little brother is called A-Sang too.”
What if instead of dying, Nie Mingjue regressed in age from the qi deviation?
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papers4me · 3 years
Text
Fruits Basket Manga Review , ch 111
sigh~~~ I feel that my recent posts are a bit negative towards the anime, but thats cuz the chapters I’ve read so far are either unbelievably important character depth content cut for no valid reason or content in the anime but packed with million other things that it lost its purpose or importance. Basically tohu’s ep 6 which consists of 4 chapters & now ep 5 which is a momiji ep & yup, packed with 4 chapters as well... so, I apologize for any negativity, my intention is just analyzing artistic & story-telling aspects, I love se03, but yeah it screwed up lots of important characters due to its not so thorough plot decisions & harmful character insight choices.
today.. we explore Momiji... but only before his curse breaks.
Furuba anime struggling to know how to design an episode based on various plot-heavy chapters?
so, they decided 13 eps, & decided one ep for momiji cuz motoko’s graduation & the fanclub is the core of the furuba & have already cut tons of tohru, cuz who cares? she’s kind. be like her. end of lesson. No. really, jokes aside, how to do this?
How to combine several chapters in one ep? collect small snippets from chosen chapters/content like a bee does flowers? you gotta skip some content, you gotta highlight others. The ep is only 20 min after all & you got an op & Ed that you cant always skip.... so.. furuba team decide that momoji’s ep should be true to his zodiac animal, this is the rabbits last appearance in spirit. so, they went with quick hopping from one chapter to the other like a rabbit?
No really, ep 5 is really like a rabbit in its flow, you can’t savior a moment enough before jumping to the other: we learned momiji grew up!! loves toheu romantically, challenged kyo, really meant it, wanted a fair love game, got freed, lost tohru romantically & faced momiji! but that’s not all? we still have space!! quick add akito’s moodiness & love triangle with her dog & her submissive bed partner, add a happy comedy for no reason whatever & make shigue kiss tohru & wish shes 'was his lover instead!!!!!!!!! Mind you all this happened in the anime before shigure hurt tohru with his “the truth of the zodiacs talk & them accepting & feeling consolance that kyo is doomed”talk. 
-Gets whats my biggest surprise after reading this chapter ?????????
Shigure is consistent!! He isnt a rabbit hopping here & there. The dog is loyal & is tired for good reason! Him being depressed & his weird talk with thoru makes so much sense given the manga’s order.
Kyo is consistent!! In the anime, momiji surprise him with confession he loves tohru & challenge him, then kyo la~la~la~joins them downstairs for curry. Not a single expression on his face, where is the expression? it will appear when the plot is forced to address it: by the end of the ep when momiji face hin again. Then we get kyo’s reaction.
I need someone to tell the anime that actions require a reaction. You can refrain from showing a certain reaction if you can’t address it now, but you can’t erase it, negate it, then make it appear when have to!!!! couldn’t they make kyo refuse to join them & eat together? the     other characters wont be surprised they think he’s needlessly moody. The audience will know that kyo is troubled with momiji’s challenged & it will excite them!!! having kyo just go eat & watch the momiji/hiro/haru/yuki comedy skit is weird.
The manga’s author wanted kyo to join the dinner, like the anime did. but huge difference. the author actually cares for logic reaction & understands that the audience aren’t dumb little kids that will sit & wait for kyo’s turn to...react! nope! she did this: (a) & (b) below.
-Lost Small Bits/ Panels from the chapter.. But Sadly Big Huge Chunks for Characters buildup & Growth:
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(a) addressed the fact the hiro noticed kyoru is in love & dressed that shigure was right!! the cat being in love is a weird concept to the zodiacs! hiro reacted naturally & the author used hiro to flesh yuki’s (the rat), momiji’s (the rabbit) & haru’s (the cow) decision to silently watch the kyo (the cat) makes his own decisions to live!!! They won’t interfere or tell akito or remind him of his state as the doomed caged cat. So sad this moment is cut from yuki. Why must yuki only interact with kyo to beat him (all seasons)? why must yuki only think of kyo to envy him (all seasons) ? Here, yuki’s growth towards kyo as a person & his relationship with tohru is 1000 times better than all tohru is my mom’s sh!t & I envy kyo’s Sh!t we saw in the anime over & over till we memorized it.
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(b) kyo didnt just go la~la~eat with momiji after knowing he loves tohru. Nope, there’s small bits missing: called logical emotional reaction. He was surprised he’s caught pining over tohru! cuz yuki, the audience representative, has told us in the previous chapter that ppl in love dont notice anything around them. Kyo thinks him being cold hid his feelings. the dummy’s feelings are as bright as the sun in the Sahara, tohru too. a child read her! such small thing that wont take much space from the ep but was cut cuz kyo only needs to be responsive at the ep’s end. & this scene of kyo & tohru looking awkwardly at each other is minor in space but so important cuz kyo is determined to let go but his decision is challenged by not only momiji, but his natural attraction to tohru. Here he knows he’s caught & exposed... here he knows momiji is a better choice for tohru cuz he wont didn’t hurt her mom... here he knows that even yuki is better cuz never had to pretend to be cold to her... here he knows the world is better than him... & here he just cant help by smile & walks towards her... T_T ... another lesson in writing slow burns by Takaya-san.
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-Why would the anime team pass on this?? drawing kyoru closer after the epic tear in Cinderella ep, cuz they want empty suspense~! The anime team thinks that if kyo & tohru stand next to each other, then it means all their issues are solved & the audience are so stupid as to forget tohru’s mom, kyo’s imprisonment, kyo not confessing his sins to tohru & tohru’s need to make a choice wether to fogive hom or not.. nope! you see, they think, ppl who read mangas are smart, so the author can give this epic symbolism & pp would still be not sure kyoru is end game & tohru will forgive him or kyo even fogive himself, but ppl who watch, oh no, gotta cut all the plot worthy content, produce a graduation song for a minor character, cut all kyo/tohru interaction cuz it only means romance & not at all character depth & oh if we show yuki actually formulating deep thoughts that aren’t centered around him, the audience might forget his se02 struggles! or that might ruin yuki’s upcoming growth moment in the finale where he .. you guessed it hits kyo.. as he always do & sulk &  think abt himself cuz yuki can only do monologues when he’s directly involved.... man~it is so sad how the anime is dumped down.. Who is the target audience again? not kids as young as hiro cuz even hiro is smart!
-just look:
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 Momiji talks abt kyo shouldn't give up loving tohru & the authr shows this this ghost!!! his mom! The author reminds us that kyo isnt da~~~~ forgetting anything. He’s a deeply troubled soul & hos mom wants him locked cuz she too was locked in a cage & thinks that’s safer...why oh why you dump ur own story! sh!t~
Side Notes:
I like the closeups on Kisa’s face as she interacted with kyo. It’s very rare for kisa to have a world beside the endearing parental/big protective bro/big doting sister love she has with tohru & haru & off course the romantic love with hiro which was perhaps since their birth or sth. lol.  Kisa & kyo arent much on the brotherly side as they rarely interact, but its one of those  refreshing  interactions she has that helps cast a new light on her as tiny as it is,  but its sth out of the norm around her. She sees him  around tohru & gets to perceive his true unprovoked character. “He is  nice guy”.
I really wanted to punch kureno this chapter.. like Shigure is a jerk shitty dog for sleeping with akito’s mom but kureno... dude.. you submissively sleep with the guy’s eternal love interest & still walks in on him talking to her!!! lol. you’re mentally, emotionally & physically weaker than him & yet, she puts you on her bed, not him & you, tho not wanting her at all, dont walk away. No wonder shigure is defeated & wishing for someone like tohru, lol! Even if shigure met an older tohru-like person, it wont work. shigure deserve someone like him mean, schemer & loves playing power games. Tohru is someone who values honesty & commutation, not saying she’s an angel on earth, but tohru knows who suits her.. except fate is saying: NO. .... currently. lol.
I know kureno’s weakness is part of his character & I love that such characters exits. There are ppl ike that in real life. It’s just this chapter, I felt shigure’s frustration. XD
Yuki in this ep is the best yuki. no exaggeration here, I love when yuki is calmly thoughtful of others & here its kyo of all ppl !!!! cutting this scene is sad.. without it, kyo & yuki remain a cat & rat in the anime. Only ever thinking abt each other thro envious binoculars or hateful words or yuki giving kyo comedic hitting or life’s problem-solving hitting. Why can’t anime yuki be interactive outside his self-centered issues is beyond me.
Momiji & kyo’s interactions are always the best! whether comedy or drama.
I hated the curry cooking scene in the anime... so weirdly out of the ep’s flow.. very forced comedy... in the manga it had a purpose! not just quick add comedy cuz next shot momiji curse breaks & drama & we’ll close the ep with tears & sadness & glimpses of hope...
I love haru’s answer to hiro... so him.. “a guy can’t fall in love?”so chill.. so..simple.
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ready-to-obeyme · 4 years
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[OM!] Mother!MC with Demon Brothers + Luke Headcanons
Scenario: Instead of a younger human, the Devildom welcomes a mother (with a 3-year old son in tow) into the exchange program. 
intro + headcanons about how the brothers would interact with her 
no romance… just uwu
bonus how the brothers would treat the son (why son? Perhaps because I too want a son)
Female reader!! (MC is referred to as she in this post) 
bonus character: Luke :3c
I JUST WANT THEM TO FEEL LOVED OK
Lucifer wasn’t prone to believe in fate-- and the beginnings of the exchange program was just another reason why he did not. He let the breeze-- the wind pick a human applicant for him; and if he had gone through every application (though he wasn't completely sure he'd be sane by the end of it all) maybe this situation wouldn't have happened. 
"What do you mean you can't be one of our exchange students?" Diavolo inquired, more curious than anything, an amused smile gracing his lips.
"I have a son," she said hesitantly. And there he was, peering around at the assembly room in his mother's arms that were wrapped protectively around him.
A mother and her human child, Lucifer thought blearily. One could only imagine what would happen if both of them remained here. (Which is why he never cut corners in anything he ever did ever because the one time he does, things go to shit. Damn Diavolo for enabling him.)
--
Lucifer
disgruntled by the adjustments made to accommodate a human child and his mother; mf will he ever rest
probably has to worry about babysitting duties delegated to his brothers 
however, pleasantly surprised by MC's calm demeanor and reliable personality; finally another competent person in the house he doesn't have to really pick up after
...actually adores her and her son
accidentally does things to please her without really realizing it and hates the slight disappointment or worry he sees when he goes through sleepless nights or lashes out from anger
doesn't remember the last time he's been chastised, but he's as embarrassed as he can be when she fusses over him
the hell coffee she makes for him every morning and the snacks she brings during his breaks makes him lowkey wanna cry-- he doesn’t know how to deal with a selfless, unconditional love
is used to being a single parent ngl so taking care of her son is kinda… easy especially if the son is compliant
finds himself pressing a kiss to his forehead absently and catches himself only after he's done it (bonus points if Barbatos takes a pic of it and sends it into their trio gc) 
“Barbatos, please delete this picture.”
“Oh, are you sure about that?”
“................”
ah he's attached, and so are his brothers, which kind of perturbed him a little but he’s kind of in the same boat after a short week or so
(if there was one brother who had a chance of harboring feelings for a mother mc, it’d be Luciiiiiiii uwuwuwuuwuuw; what can I say? He can’t resist the milf) 
eventually, he opens up to her about the war-- because if there was any human he’d trust with his secrets, it would be MC
Mammon
he's crying 
he doesn't think anyone has ever talked or held him as gently as MC
similar to the game, absolutely adores her and can't even lie about it
ok jk he's still a tsundere, but blushes every time MC looks at him with a knowing look because he can't lie convincingly enough that no, the head pats dont feel nice and no, he's just eating the lunch she made because it'll be a waste otherwise, ok?!
Her son definitely thinks he’s related to Mammon
Definitely the first one to accidentally call her “mom” 
But hey don’t blame him-- he’s weak to how MC looks at him endearingly as she brushes hair out of his face motherly, like he can do no wrong 
Nothing can compare to how Mammon feels when MC tells him she’s proud of him
feels legit guilty when she calls him out on his habits of stealing things to the point he remembers her voice when he tries to do it again-- basically his conscience ngl
she's like a cold hand to his feverish forehead, a cooling balm to the burn on his hand
when she defends him from his brother's insults, swears he'll protect her and her son 
on that note, adores her son too and her son adores mammon!
surprisingly (or not) good with kids and treats them well; plays with them, very lively and dynamic
takes babysitting pretty seriously-- makes him consider the fact that he might actually want to be a father in the future if possible
not that he doesn’t have reckless endeavors with her son... they just end up okay so no one is none the wiser until it shows up on someone’s devilgram or spoken about through Barbatos/Diavolo
Leviathan
Honestly doesn’t know how to to react 
A little miffed tbh that he finds it so easy to talk to her about…. Everything??? 
When he enlisted her (and her son) to get his money back from Mammon, did he expect to rant to her about all his animes and gush about his figurines to her because that was one of the first time someone’s allowed him to indulge in his hobbies and listen patiently?
No, and now he’s crying 
And the fact she gently addresses his self-deprecating comments and urges him to see how she sees him (smart, witty, forgiving)---
Will probably do anything for MC and anything she says at this point; the pact is just a formality LOL
Listens to her and genuinely thinks the things she does for him is in his best interest 
Had a hard time knowing how to deal with her son for a while, simply because he doesn’t know what he could do to actually entertain the child
Then finds out he could literally put up TSL or any of his favorite animes and the kid will watch it-- and ABSORB
Levi might as well be the kid’s best friend at this point-- dubbs him ‘Henry’-- which is really the greatest compliment MC thinks her son can get from him
Honestly volunteers to babysit him and proceeds to spoil him rotten
Satan
Slightly annoyed at how motherly she is at the beginning-- he takes her care and actions as if she treats him like a child
Finds it frightening how soothed he feels when he’s around her
There’s something about an older, calming presence that saps the anger from him and makes him feel like he can be himself around MC
Surprisingly the second person to accidentally call MC by “mom” probably an hour after he makes fun of Mammon for doing it (lol karma)
isn't one to seek out her attention like with levi, mammon, or asmo but is pleased whenever he does have time to spend with her because she always seems to have insight on everything and a strange wisdom that all mothers apparently do
has a lot of late night talks with her about her life, her career, what it's like having a child
often finds himself asking her for advice, and even if she doesn't have the answer, he always comes out of it thoughtful and clear minded 
always willing to take care of her son; delights in reading him his favorite books and enacting the exciting scenes 
always treats him like an adult to the point that their conversations are really funny to listen to
"So would you say the author's intent of the blue door was to convey the agony of grief?"
"I like the color blue."
"As did the protagonist; hm, you bring up a good point."
the son is Satan's partner in crime against Lucifer 
"It's better if we do this, isn't that right?"
"Yeah!" MC’s child says, happily chewing on his favorite snack that Satan always gives to him and honestly not caring about the conversation at hand at all
"See? He agrees with me!”
And Lucifer just sighs bc he always loses in these arguments and Satan is unbearably smug
Asmodeus
similar to Satan, finds her presence in Devildom to be very pleasant and calming
she never seems to be disapproving of his past times, and Asmo is endeared by the way she never fails to say "stay safe" or "have fun!" or even "do you want me to leave the front lights for when you come back?"
the little motherly ways in which she shows she cares makes Asmo adore her
loves taking her shopping; always has a good time just gossiping, trying new clothes, or having a girls night out with self careeeee
when her son tags along, loves to have him dress up too or try on make up and it's too adorable NOT to post on devilgram
pretty sure MC's son has trended on devilgram before-- but that was the first and last time because Lucifer yelled at him for advertising the fact there was a human child in Devildom
which Asmo thinks is silly because he's pretty sure the caption under the selfie of the three of them ("So adorbs! I've only had MC's son for a day, but if anything happened to him, I would kill everyone in Devildom and then myself. Teehee!") would have deterred any demon from laying a finger on him
When Asmo has him for babysitting duties, always loves to bathe him and play with bubbles, morphing his hair into an afro or an equally fashionable hairdo
actually very attentive to the child!!
Beelzebub
Not much changes from how Beel treats MC, but does view her actions in a more motherly manner 
I think one thing that would change is that-- considering MC is a mother of her own child, is actually very protective of the brothers and sensitive to their changes in moods
When Lucifer gets angry at Beel and Luke, MC is furious and furiously protective, not yielding one bit or hesitating to put herself in front of them because of her instincts-- Beel has never admired her more 
Physical strength has always something he can easily understand, but it is the strength of wills and of bravery that surprises him every time 
After Mammon and Satan accidentally calls you “mom” Beelzebub has no qualms with calling you by mom either-- I mean, what’s the shame in that? Everyone already thinks of you as their mother-figure anyways
MC helps him deal with the loss of his sister
With MC’s child… You know that one meme with the two ways dad deals with kids: one is softly kissing his child on the forehead as he sleeps and the other is carrying his kid by the leg with one arm
Both of them is Beel 
carries the kid around in the weirdest ways sometimes, including on his head, in one hand like he's holding a trophy, upside down (dw the kid thinks it's funny)
main transport is on his shoulders though; thinks it's kinda cute how the kid puts his arms around his head
wouldn't love anything more but to nap with him, but Beel is afraid of hurting him when he sleeps
Is the softest with MC’s son--- he’s not used to being the older brother, so he takes this responsibility kind of seriously 
Always makes sure the food that MC’s son eats is appropriate so he tastes/tries it first… and sometimes ends up eating all of it, but he always manages to succeed in feeding the kid so it’s all good
Belphegor
Wants to hate MC so badly the first time they meet when he’s in the attic
He’s supposed to HATE humans, damn it-- why the hell is MC trying to be so motherly and understanding, huh?? How dare she make him guilty after he lied to her like wlkjaflksjfkjasdlfj
Out of all of them, seeks MC the least; whether it’s from guilt or the fact that her presence reminds him of the things and resentment he used to hold against her 
Takes a little more cajoling from MC to talk to her and explain how he’s feeling so they can move past it
He’d rather die than let anyone else know that he teared up when they talked about Lilith and how he felt about everything; urges Belphie to talk to Lucifer and seek reconciliation with him individually (because it may be a family problem, but the feud was between the two of them, don’t you think?)
Finally gets the redemption arc he deserves and feels a lot lighter knowing that everything that has happened is now in the open and he’s ready to start healing 
In avoiding MC after the whole debacle, Belphie ends up spending more time with her son because he thinks Belphie is fascinating and Belphie has no clue why 
Similarly to Satan, treats the kid like he would anyone else but does find it amusing if the kid chases after his tail like a cat
Always ends up napping with him whenever MC’s son takes a nap-- after all, what’s easier than looking after a kid if you’re BOTH asleep?
Keeps an eye on him by putting a hand on his torso as they nap together
Uses MC’s son as an excuse to not do something, especially when Lucifer tells him to do something he doesn’t like to do
Honestly the son is a part of his arsenal-- he knows how weak everyone is for this kid (and so is he tbh but more lowkey) so cute pics of him is like… currency (Mammon WISHES he thought of this first) 
Bonus:
Luke
MC practically adopts him the moment she lays eyes on him-- how could she not? Luke may as well be her other son
Luke can’t say no, especially after she saves him from Lucifer
Definitely calls her mom by accident and the brothers tease him-- only for him to retort back that “don’t you ALL call her by mom?” and they shut up lol
Simeon still gets to tease Luke though heheh 
Really really really tries hard not to refer to MC as mom, but it slips out sometimes and no one even bats an eye 
Baking together is such a family bonding moment
Treats MC’s son most like his younger brother almost automatically and makes sure he doesn’t get into any trouble while he’s taking care of him (though he does anyways) 
Kind of likes the responsibility of babysitting MC’s son; makes him feel trusted
(MC takes the cutest pics of them together when they fall asleep; starts thinking about maybe having another child wouldn’t be so bad)
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quarantineddreamer · 2 years
Text
i’ve been absent, and i can’t be sorry (it’s been necessary), but i do miss this community and having the energy/time to participate.
in truth, it’s been a challenging past few months for me...
don’t want to bore anyone, so details below (tw: depression, anxiety, parental troubles, covid)
i was really fortunate to be really close to my family growing up. i had a great relationship with my parents. which is why it has been that much more painful for me this past year to have them slowly driven from me by the absurdity of current politics. i didn’t see it coming, i didn’t think my parents could become science deniers. and yet here i am...
i tried with everything i had to teach/reach them, but ultimately the stress of it all was causing my anxiety to reach extremely unhealthy levels. for my own health and sanity, i wrote them a long, heartfelt letter explaining why i would not be talking to them for the time being (as they refused to get vaccinated and began to behave dangerously, no masks, frequent outings, seeing lots of people). that was july. 
august my parents visited my hometown. i did not see them or speak to them. my birthday passed, i did not see them or speak to them... 
i spoke with my mother once, in september...and it’s all still just as bad. there was shouting, cursing, crying (mostly me tbh). she’s stubbornly clinging to her beliefs drilled into her by right-wing media. i wont get into them, but it’s conspiracy level bad... she got covid, she kept it from me and my brother until afterwards. miraculously she was okay despite taking “medicine” that has been proven to be ineffective against covid and potentially dangerous while sick to boot... it’s made her even more determined to cling to her insane theories about the vaccine, covid treatments, the government all of it... 
i told her my life would continue without her and dad: i might get engaged (probably would have on my anniversary except my partner felt bad i wasnt talking to them at the time), married, who knows... covid isn’t going away anytime soon, and i cant agree to disagree with her on this. it matters too much to me that they be safe. if i let it go and something were to happen to her and my dad...i’d never forgive myself for it. 
i’m not saying mine is the correct approach. i have been plagued with doubt and guilt off and on. my mom has used language that makes me feel like this is all my fault, for being anxious, for being depressed, for not just letting her have her dangerous opinions... but at the end of the day despite the pain and grief i feel for not having my parents right now, i am still better off than i was before. fewer panic attacks, able to focus at work, able to at least sleep some now. 
i started anti-depressants when my mental health hit an all-time low during all of this, and they’ve been helping too. i really didn’t want to get back on them, but i believe they’ve saved my life. 
sadly, between all this (and busy times at work) i’ve had very little time, focus, or motivation to write. i’ve barely been on here. to be completely honest, naps after work are common. the extra rest has become important. i’ve developed a sudden interest in true crime documentaries and sad movies?? i was very confused by this at first, since i’ve never ever had an interest before, but my therapist says its how im processing my trauma and grief lol 
but why write all this out on tumblr, B? well... i like to scream into the abyss here, and i also want to be completely open about my struggles and mental health, because i was at my worst when i felt utterly alone, and if this post helps even one person who might be experiencing similar feel less alone than it’s worth it.
and i also wanted to let this community know why i’ve suddenly dropped off because it is a place that has brought my joy even during the chaos of the past year or so. i am going to be participating in the upcoming zkmbb and still have my other projects ready and waiting for me to return, but for now, the queue is going to be up and running and i’ll be a bit quieter as i fight my way through this and have to dedicate extra time to self-care.
i hope no one relates to this post, i really do, because it all hurts a lot and i dont want anyone to feel this pain, but if you do? you are a warrior, i admire your strength and courage --and i am sending you so much love.
best wishes all,
B
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