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#I dread when he actually becomes an active part of the story
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how the hell was it easier to give this asshole interesting character development in my high school AU where he’s just the fucking janitor who shows up sometimes to say cryptic shit than in his own fic where he gets to be the specialest little guy he was meant to be
it just doesn’t add up
I genuinely honestly believe it's because they gave us SO LITTLE canon information about him that it's just impossible to invent something that seems to organically actually Come From Him. it's all an illusion. all Things about him come from surrounding narrative. he's an absolute black hole of a character.
he's just Some Guy nintendo hired to stand around in scenes and go AHA YOU FOOLS and that's it that's the whole thing and they probably underpaid him because he did it so well he just defies all development all plot all fucking modern and traditional storytelling. even in the one scene he actually walks with his own two feet he literally has zero facial expression. in his one big scene his fucking legs go transparent from the effort of maintaining a very basic Badguy Speech™️
thank you for the inspiration tho because I will character development this asshole even if I have to fucking beat him to death to get there
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mommytauriel · 1 year
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+ · 。~ promised to another p3
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pairing: sihtric x female! reader | genre: forbidden romance? Angst, fluff | warnings: none that I know of | wc: 6.3k |
synopsis: eight months since everything in your life has changed, and it seems like things won't stop changing.
request: yes
note: I’m so sorry this took so long for me to get out! I was just really struggling on writing this part! This is more like a filler part. I do still hope you guys enjoy it!
Part one Part two Part three
The first week being back in Winchester was hard, actually the first few months being back in Winchester was hard…in many different ways.  Mentally you were exhausted, staying up late at night and stressing yourself to sleep thinking about Uhtred, and what he's going through. You didn't even want to think about how emotionally hard it was for you. The guilt you felt, the pain you felt with Uhtred gone and you leaving sihtric. 
It was physically hard because you were exhausted. You spent your nights staying up late, crying and thinking about Uhtred and sihtric. And when you did finally fall asleep, you didn't get to sleep for long because Lady Aelswith would make sure you were up so you could join her for morning prayers and breakfast with Aethelflaed. 
The fourth month you were tired of being sad, so you forced yourself to leave your room more. It wasn't healthy to lock yourself up in your room and avoid everyone. Matthew was happy to see that you were starting to get better, he had missed you. Matthew was against it at first because he was worried you would get hurt, but the two of you would go on walks through the village of Winchester. He noticed that it was helping you so he kept his worries to himself and just stayed alert. 
By the six month you were feeling more like yourself. You still had your moments of sadness; you just now knew how to handle them better. You have started doing many things to distract yourself from your feelings, you did a lot of reading, most of them being books that King Alfred has suggested. You spent more time with Matthew and Aethelflaed, Aethelflaed even joining you and Matthew on your walks. It was nice. 
The seventh month is when things started to feel more real for you. King Alfred had been lenient with you for the prior months but now that you seemed more yourself, he wasn't going to hold back. Whenever he had time, the two of you would be in his study, reading and learning more about history. And you enjoyed it most of the time, but when he would bring up Arthur and your future with him…your enjoyment turned to dread. You didn't want to talk about Arthur and the doom of your future with him. Lady Aelswith would try to talk to you about Arthur too, telling you about her and the king's betrothal and how she didn't like it at first but it was her duty to become a good wife to him. She even offered to teach you some ways on becoming a good wife, and well you couldn't exactly decline. You didn't want to learn how to be a good wife, you didn't want to be a wife in general! 
The eighth month was no different. 
Throughout those eight months you barely saw Arthur. Then again, you were also actively avoiding the blue-eyed man. It also helped that Arthur was very busy, busy with the king or busy going back and forth from Mercia and Winchester. You weren't complaining. The two of you have talked a few times, well more like he talked, and you just ‘listened’. A small part of you felt a little bad for treating Arthur like that, a very small part. Arthur has been kind to you, and you hated it. 
The garden in the back of the castle had quickly become your place of solace and solitude. If you went early enough in the morning, you would be completely alone…besides the times Matthew would join you. It was a very peaceful place; you could walk around and look at the flowers or sit at the bench and read…or just sit there and think. Today you were reading. 
Before you met sihtric you enjoyed reading love stories, but now you couldn't bear to read one. Just like how you couldn't dare to see public affection, it all reminded you of sihtric. And how you couldn't be with him. It hurt seeing or reading someone being so happy and in love when you weren't. You would feel a tug at your heart and soon your eyes would water it really hurt. So now you stick to history books, they aren't as fun but now you don't have to worry about crying while reading it. 
“What book are you reading today My lady?” A deep and familiar voice breaks you out of your thoughts. You blink a few times and look up from the page you have been reading over and over again. You squint your eyes from the bright sun that shines, when you look up at Matthew's figure. He was standing in front of you, clad in his black leather armor with his hands behind his back, a small smile on his face as he looked down at you. 
“The same book I was reading yesterday Matthew” You retorted with a sigh, closing the book and playing with the leather corners of the book cover. Matthew hums in remembrance, his eyes looking over your figure. He was happy to see that you look way better than you did months ago, you looked well rested. But he could still see some sadness in your eyes. 
“Lady Aethelflaed requests you to join her for breakfast” Matthew tells you, watching as your eyes lighten up at the mention of your dear friend. You stand up from the bench and with your free hand that's not holding your book, you fix your dress. You offer Matthew a small smile “Let's go then, wouldn't want to keep the princess waiting.” 
Matthew nods and leads the way towards Lady Aethelflaed’s room, She had breakfast sent to her room for the two of you. The two of you enjoyed your mornings where you had breakfasts together, the safety of being alone in her room let the two of you gossip as much as you wanted without getting scolded by Lady Aelswith. 
The two of you stopped in front of Aethelflaeds’s room, you greeted the guard who stood out of her room with a small smile while Matthew greeted him with a nod. Matthew softly knocked on the lady's door for you before he stepped back. You heard the sound of feet rushing towards the door and not even a few seconds later the wood door was being opened quickly. A smiling Aethelflaed greeting you.  
“Y/n! I've missed you, come in” Lady Aethelflaed smiles as she grabs your arm and pulls you into her room, you laugh at her eagerness and let her drag you into her room. You glance behind you to see Matthew giving a smile before he closes the door, leaving the two of you alone. You look back at her and see a wide smile on her face and a giggle escape past your lips. “You saw me yesterday Aethelflaed.” 
“I know that but still, i missed you” She giggled herself as she let go of your arm and walked towards the table in her room, which the two of you have eaten at many times before. You set your book on her bed before you follow her across her room. The princess’s room had a bunch of vases of flowers that the two of you had handpicked, her room was so fresh and comfy. 
“This looks delicious” you tell her as you look over the spread of food and drinks on the table. Athelflaed smiles and sits down at the table, pouring herself a cup of water “I asked for some of your favorites.” 
“You truly do spoil me” You send her a teasing wink as you sit down in the chair across from her, popping a green grape in your mouth. Athelflaed blushes and starts eating some of the fruit on her plate. You smile at her shy antics before you start digging into your food. It wasn't long before the two of you jumped into a conversation. 
“I know I have said this hundreds of times, but I'm so glad that you're back. It's nice to have someone I can talk to without worrying, mother is going to find out about what we have talked about” Aethelflaed tells you with a genuine smile after the two of you stopped laughing from the conversation beforehand. (The conversation being about a cute stable hand boy that had caught Athelflaeds attention) It was adorable seeing her so flustered talking about him, it kinda reminded you about how if was for you and sihtric. 
Athelflaed’s words comforted you and made you sad at the same time. They were comforting because you truly did miss her too, but they were sad because if it was up to you…you wouldn't have come back. Sometimes at night while you lay alone in your dark room, you would think about what you would be doing now if you never left, if Uhtred was never sold. You would have nights filled with laughter at ale houses with Uhtred and there was no doubt that you and sihtric would become closer. Maybe I would have told him I loved him already…I’ll never know now. 
“Speaking of missing you, I may or may not have overheard Arthur talking with my dad last night” Aethelflaed’s sweet but mischievous voice breaks you out of your sad thoughts. You blink a few times and look up from your plate to her. You raise your eyebrow at her words, stopping yourself from rolling your eyes at the mention of Arthur. You grip your fork tighter and give her a faint smirk “Overheard? You mean you eavesdropped?” 
“Y/n” She said with an embarrassed whine, gently kicking you under the table before continuing with a mischievous grin on her face “Don't you want to know what they were talking about?” 
“I have a feeling you were going to tell me anyway” You recalled from past memories, you knew she was going to tell you anyway. Aethelflaed doesn't pick up on the sarcasm in your town and she leans forward, excitement in her tone “They were talking about you, well more like Arthur was talking about you…he seems quite smitten with you.” 
“I don't know how he could be, we've barely talked” You responded with a confused look and annoyance in your tone. How could he be smitten with me? You made sure that the two of you had barely any chance to talk. You don't want him to like you, no you want him to hate you…it would make it easier if he did. It didn't feel right knowing that someone was liking you like that, it felt as if you were betraying sihtric in a way. You didn't like this feeling. 
“Arthur is a really nice guy y/n! You should give him a chance, who knows you might even find yourself liking him” Aethelflaed says cheerfully, again not noticing your tone. Aethelflaed has always wanted to fall in love, to have someone by her side for everything. Her desire to have that kinda love, blinded her from the negative parts that came with it. She didn't see the negative parts of your betrothal to arthur. But how could she? She didn't know about me and sihtric. 
She didn't know about how you were feeling, the feeling of being trapped in a relationship you didn't want, the heartbreak you felt with sihtric. There was no chance that you could find yourself liking arthur. To you, Arthur was just the guy that's ruining the happy future you hoped you and sihtric would have together. Maybe it was ruined the moment you left eoferwic. 
“Not likely” 
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It seems my luck has run out; you think with a bitter sigh when you see who's standing at the other end of the hall. You had just left Aethelflaed’s room a few minutes ago after spending a few hours laughing and talking, you then parted ways with Matthew who was called off to do something. You were in a happy mood but that quickly joined to a mood of annoyance when you see your betrothed standing across from you, a smile on his face. 
“Lady y/n, I've been meaning to talk to you” Arthur says with a sweet smile as he steps closer to you. Your grip on your book tightens and you hold it to your chest, you offer him a weak smile. 
“I apologize but I have to get going, maybe another time” You spoke quietly as you tried to walk past him, only to stop dead in your tracks when you felt Arthur softly grab your arm to stop you. You let out a sigh, you knew you couldn't avoid him this time. You turn to face him and see him giving you a pleading look. You sigh again and move your arm out of his grip and mutter “You only have a few minutes.” 
“That's all i need” He replied with a charming smile, he cleared his throat before continuing “I wanted to apologize, I've been busy these past months and i haven't spent much time with you, I haven't gotten to know you.” 
“There's not much to know” you say in a dismissive tone, making it your mission to look anywhere but his face. You settle on the flower painting on the wall behind him. Arthur notices the dismissiveness in your tone and your actions, but he still tries to keep the conversation going. So, he ignores it and keeps the smile on his lips. “I don't know about that; I have a feeling there's a lot to know about you.” 
“Feelings can be wrong” You snapped as you finally looked at him, the two of you locked eyes. Arthur could tell that there was more to your words, a lot more meaning. I want to find out, he thinks. “You don't like me, do you?” 
“Is it that obvious?” You ask him sarcastically with a bitter tone as you tilt your head. Arthur stills for a moment and all the confidence he had going into the conversation with you disappears, at the sound of the bitterness in your tone. King Arthur had told him you would not be happy about the betrothal, but he didn't think you would be this difficult, especially with him being so nice to you. Is it going to be like this every time we talk? he thinks with a disappointed sigh. 
“Anything else?” You snapped him out of his thoughts. 
“Your friend uhtred, I saw him walk into the king's study” Arthur spoke with little emotion in his tone, it was obvious you didn't want this…he wasn't going to try so hard for nothing. He was tired of making the first move, one day you were going to realize that whether the two of you like it or not, you will be wed. He will just have to wait until you're willing to try, or when you're in a better mood. 
“Uhtred? He’s here?” your stone-cold persona dropped as soon as his words came out. Chills of shock run through your body, and you find yourself dropping your arms to your side, your grip on your book loosening. Uhtred, the Uhtred who you thought of as a brother was here in Winchester, in the castle? I have to see him. 
“The King doesn't want anyone to know yet, but I thought you should know. I know you guys were close, you must have missed him” he tells you in a soft tone, offering you one smaller smile before leaving you. You stood there for a few moments as you watched him walk away, you watched as his strong posture faltered and his hand moved up to rub the back of his neck. 
There was no denying that you felt bad about how you treated him, he went out of his way to tell you that Uhtred was back. He told you when the king told him that no one must know. He did that for you and all you did was treat him unkindly. You don't let yourself stand there guilty for much longer. I have to see Uhtred. 
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You rushed down the hall towards the king's study, holding onto your dress so you won't trip. Your footsteps echo through the hallway, you make an abrupt stop as you turn the corner to the hallway that leads to the king's study. Just as you turn the corner the door at the end of the hallway opens and out steps steapa and matthew, following them is Uhtred. 
You hold your breath and your eyes immediately water at the sight, you pay no attention to steapa and Matthew, you just look straight at uhtred. You couldn't believe it. You watch as he looks up from the ground, he has a look of anger on his face but when he notices you standing at the other end of the hallway, his face softens, and his eyes widen. 
Before you could think, your legs were already rushing towards him, and he met you halfway. You closed your eyes as you threw your arms around his shoulders. You let out a sigh of relief when you felt that he was truly there, he's really here. Uhtred wraps his arms around your waist and holds you close. The pain he felt when you jumped in his arms did not compare to the feeling of relief that he was feeling, you were okay, you were safe. Uhtred tightens his hold on you and just closes his eyes and relishes in the moment. you were really here. 
“Oh Uhtred” You sniffle out, a few tears slowly rolling down your cheeks, you had imagined this moment for months, but this was better than anything you could have imagined. To have him really back. One of his hands moves to cup the back of your head. His heart hurts when he hears you sniffles of sadness, he whispers soothingly “Shh, it's okay little flower, don't cry.” 
“I didn't think i would ever see you again” You cried quietly, your hold on him not loosening. You were afraid to let go, afraid that if you let go of him, he would disappear. Matthew and steapa watch from afar, both of their hearts warm at the heartfelt reunion. 
“It's okay y/n, i'm here now.” 
But for how long was the real question? 
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Uhtred didn't stay long. You got the answer to your question.  You tried to be understanding, you knew that what he was going to do was important, important to the king and important to him. But you couldn't help but feel a little upset that he left you so soon. I didn't have enough time with him. After the two of you reunited, you spent the next few hours together talking. Well, more like you talked and he listened. You refrained from telling him about Arthur, you didn't want to ruin the moment. You were surprised when he told you that Lady Gisela was here with him, you would have to see her soon, you missed her. 
He then left you after he promised to see you soon, the next time you saw him was the next day when he was getting ready to leave. You found out two new things that morning, he was leaving, and he had gotten married. You were hurt by the new information. Hurt that he was leaving so soon and hurt that you weren't invited to his and lady Gisela's wedding. But like you said, you tried to be understanding. 
It's okay y/n, he’ll be back soon. You think to yourself as you stand by Lady Aethelflaed’s side, watching as Uhtred and his company leave Winchester. You glance at Gisela who's watching Uhtred leave, a look of sadness on her face. You truly felt for her, her husband just got back, and now he's leaving. You glance at Aethelflaed to see her watching Uhtred go, a look of adoration on her face. Your eyes widened, she looked lovestruck. How interesting. 
You glance back at Uhtred, and you can't help but feel a little emotional as you watch him ride out of sight. You let out a sigh before turning around and walking back into the castle, Matthew following behind you. Both of you were feeling quite down at the moment, you because of Uhtred and him because of Hild..he would never say it aloud, but you knew the truth. 
“Are you alright my lady?” Matthew asks behind you, his voice gentle and worried. You sigh and fold your arms in front of you as you walk towards the gardens in the back of the castle, in the need of some solace. 
“I’m just tired Matthew, I’m just tired.” 
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The next day you spent your morning eating breakfast alone in your room, you didn't go out to the garden, instead you read in your quiet room. You didn't really want to see anyone; you also didn't want to run into Arthur. You knew you had to talk to Arthur soon, you had to apologize. But you just weren't ready for that. 
You were peacefully reading until Matthew knocked on your door and let you know that Lady Gisela would like to see you in the village. For a second you considered declining, you were in no mood to be around anyone. But it was Lady Gisela, she knew no one here, she probably felt so alone and out of place. So, you told Matthew yes and you got out of your bed and walked towards your door. 
Matthew greeted you with a small smile when you opened your door, and you greeted him back with a smile of your own, a weak smile. Matthew grew a little worried, he didn't want you to go back to how you were months ago. He wouldn't let that happen, not again. The two of you walked in silence through the castle and to the steps at the entrance of the castle. Standing there at the bottom of the steps was Lady Gisela, a smile forming on her lips when she sees you approaching her. She had missed you. 
“Y/n! thank you for joining me” Gisela beamed as she pulled you into her arms for a hug. You smile softly and hug her back, relaxing into her comforting embrace. After a few moments you pull away and link your arm in hers, the negative feelings you felt earlier were slowly leaving you. “Thank you for inviting me, it will be nice getting out of the castle.” 
“Do you not leave often?” Gisela asks you as the two of you start walking, Matthew walking a few steps behind you. Lady Gisela thought about you a lot through the eight months, like others she was worried about you and how you were taking this change. So, she was happy to see that you were okay, well at least seemed to be okay. 
“Me and Matthew go on walks out of the castle quite a lot, sometimes aethelflaed joins us. But I haven't really had a chance these past few days” you tell her, and she smiles at your words. 
“So, tell me, how has it been living back here in Winchester?” 
“It's definitely been different since the last time I was here, I lived carefree. But now it's…oh never mind” You let out an annoyed sigh when you couldn't put your feelings in words. Gisela frowns and squeezes your arm reassuringly and when you look at her, she gives you a comforting smile.
“It's okay y/n, just tell me what's on your mind” Gisela said softly as she looked at your side profile. What was bothering you so much? She wonders. 
“I am betrothed to Arthur of Mercia” you say quickly before you could stop yourself, you needed to get this off your chest. There was no one else you could talk to about this. You didn't look at Gisela when she gasped at your words, you just kept walking. Gisela’s eyes widen at your words “What? When did this happen?” 
“The king told me the day I came back” You frowned as you looked back on that day, so much sadness and heartbreak. Everything changed that day. 
“And how do you feel about this?” Gisela frowned as well, she had an idea on how you were feeling, and she knew it wasn't a good feeling. She continued to rub your arm reassuringly as the two you walked, she waited for your answer. 
You let out a heavy breath before responding. “I feel a lot of things, but it doesn't matter how I feel, the king has made it clear that it's my duty to marry, my duty to marry Arthur.” 
“Oh y/n, have you told Uhtred? If you are not happy with this you know Uhtred will find a way to stop this” Gisela halted her steps, causing you to stop as well. Matthew stopped a few steps behind the two of you and he looked around, making sure there was no danger to you. You look away from her when you see the look of pity she gives you. I don't want pity; I want a way out of this betrothal. 
“I didn't want him to worry” You shake your head no; you feared Uhtred might try to kill Arthur if he found out. I can't tell Uhtred, not yet. You move to continue walking but Lady Gisela stops you by gently holding onto your arms. You look at her and she gives you a look a look of sympathy and says “He will always worry about you y/n, you know that.” 
“If you ask him to get you out of the betrothal, he will do everything he can to get you out of it” Lady Gisela tells you, her tone serious. You nod and continue walking, Gisela walking by your side. You think about her words, Uhtred has made it clear that he would do anything for you. Would he hurt Arthur? Would he argue with the king? Would he take you away from the castle? You didn't know what he would do, but you knew that what he would do, no matter what it is, would only cause more problems. I didn't want that. I just want my life back to the way it used to be. 
“That's what I’m afraid of” You mumble to yourself as the two of you continue walking. Was there a way to save me from this situation, without things getting bad? There is no way King Alfred would give up on this betrothal, it meant so much for him…well it meant so much for England. You weren't stupid you knew why this was happening, it was for alliances, it was for resources. It wasn't for love. 
It would be love if it was sihtric…
“Who is it?” Her calming voice broke you out of your sad thoughts about your lost lover. You tilt your head and give her a confused look. “What do you mean?” 
“I can see it in your eyes, you're in love. So, who is it?” Lady Gisela repeats her question, watching your side profile for your reaction. So much has happened, she felt bad that she wasn't there to help you with it. Matthew, who overheard the question, stiffened. 
“It’s…it’s sihtric” You whisper to her with a flustered smile. This was the first time you said it aloud. You of course thought about it, you thought about it a lot. But saying it out loud, it made it more real. God, you missed him, every day you wished that you had more time with him. 
“Sihtric?” She repeats his name as she slows down her steps. She had a feeling there was something going on between the two of you, but still. She had hoped you didn't say his name when she asked you. 
“Yes, sihtric he’s- Gisela what's wrong?” You ask her when you noticed she stopped walking with you. She holds onto your forearm and looks at you with sympathy, she didn't know how to tell you this. “Oh y/n i…” 
“What is it?” You give her a confused look, but you start to worry when you notice the look on her face. Why is she looking at me like that? you think anxiously. Matthew took a step forward to the two ladies’, concerned as well. 
“I’m sorry y/n, before I left, I saw him with a woman…they were quite close” Gisela tells you in a soft tone, hoping that it would break the news to you easier. Matthews's grip tightens on the hilt of his sword and his jaw clenched in anger at her words. You felt your arms drop to your side and your heart stop at her words. No no no, sihtric he wouldn't do that, he wouldn't do that to me. You didn't think you knew words to describe how you were feeling at that moment, all that you could say was a quiet and emotionless “Oh.” 
“I could be wrong, sihtric is a good man, he wouldn't do that to you” Lady Gisela says quickly, feeling terrible when she sees the storm of sadness in your eyes, but the emotionless look on your face. She couldn't just not tell you; she couldn't do that to you. But like Gisela said, sihtric is a good man, he wouldn't do that to you, right? Did she see wrong? 
“Are you sure it was him?” You ask her in a weak tone, your eyes begging her to realize that she did see wrong. You don't think you could handle another heartbreak, not like this. You move your hand to your side, finding it hard to breathe with the tight dress and your panicky state. I’m not okay, everything is not okay, I can't do this anymore. 
“Yes…but like i said, i could be wrong” Gisela tells you, but you don't focus on her words, in fact you couldn't really focus on anything. It felt as if you were stuck and everything was moving past you, you were stuck…you were alone. You started to feel overwhelmed and started to breathe heavily as the sounds around you got too loud and the sound of your heartbeat was pounding through your ears. I need to get out of here.  
“I apologize Lady Gisela, I'm not feeling too well, I should retire to my room” You weakly voice out, your eyes averting to the dirt ground they were standing on. You couldn't look at her, you couldn't let her see how hurt you were. I don't want anyone to see me like this. 
“Oh, of course. I hope you feel better” Gisela tells you with a worried smile, she wanted to say more, to have you stay with her, but she just didn't know what to say. She knew you were feeling heartbroken, you needed some space. You don't wait for her to say anything else before you turn around and walk back to the castle, your dress ruffling against your legs as you walk quickly. You averted your eyes from Matthew when you passed him, Matthew was right, sihtric wasn't good for me. 
Every step you took your heart pounded harder in your ears and your heart broke even more. You bring your shaky hand to wipe off a tear that escaped from your watery eyes before anyone could see it. Like Lady Gisela said, she could be wrong about sihtric. 
But it was too late, the doubt had already sunk in. 
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You didn't know what to do. You had become so dependent on the thought that sihtric cared for you too, that you were special to him. So, hearing Lady Gisela's words really hurt, in ways you weren't prepared for. Did I really spend these eight months being heartbroken for a guy that didn't even care about me? You think bitterly as you stare down at the bush of flowers. 
You have been in the garden for an hour or so. After you left Gisela you went to your room, and cried in your bed until your cheeks became sore, but you soon felt trapped in your room and with your thoughts. So, you decided to take a visit to the gardens. It was difficult to convince Matthew to let you go on your own, but he reluctantly agreed when he saw your watery eyes. You needed to be alone, in a place you felt comfortable. You had a lot to think about. 
There was a part of you that believed that Lady Gisela simply saw wrong and that he cared about you. But the other part of you knew that he was a man, and you have heard many stories about man and how unfaithful they are. Sihtric wasn't like that, he was different right? He had to be. You were so caught up in your depressing thoughts that you didn't hear the upcoming footsteps, you only noticed that someone joined you, when they sat by your side on the stone bench. 
You wipe your cheeks, making sure there was no evidence of you crying before you looked up at the person sitting next to you. You sniffle and tilt your head to see the side profile of Arthur. He was looking down at the bush of flowers, his hands folded in his lap, and he had an emotionless look on his face. But when he feels your stare, he turns his head to look at you, giving you a small smile. He had noticed your red eyes, but he didn't say anything about it. 
“I’ve been looking for you, Lady Aethelflaed said I would find you here. It's a nice spot” Arthur mused as he looked around the garden, he had seen this place many times, simply just walking past or walking through. He's never really spent any time there, he can see why you like it. He had seen you on the same bench the two of you were sitting on, many times before. He just never had the courage to talk to you, you always looked so content. He didn't want to ruin that. 
“It is very peaceful” You voiced out quietly, taking a deep breath, smelling the many scents of the flowers that surrounded the two of you. It truly was peaceful. You look towards the willow tree that gave the bench you were sitting on, shade. It was a hot evening, but the shade made the weather feel perfect. Arthur watched your side profile, watching as you close your eyes for a second to take another deep breath. You looked so peaceful, so beautiful. 
“I wanted to apologize” Arthur started as he broke the silence. You look away from the willow tree and to him, a confused look on your face. When you see the sincerity in his blue eyes you can't help but feel guilty. You cut him off quickly, before he can say anything else. “You have nothing to apologize for Arthur” 
“I should be the one apologizing, i have done nothing but treat you terribly when all you have done was treat me nicely” You continued, you tone soft and guilty. You couldn't look into his eyes anymore, you felt guilty for the way you treated him. You look down at your lap where your fidgeting hands rested. You clear your throat before you look back up, tilting your head and locking eyes with blue eyes. “I really am sorry Arthur.” 
“I forgive you y/n, and I understand why you did” He nodded, giving you a reassuring smile. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. How could he be so understanding? So sweet? I wouldn't be if i were him you thought. 
“A person with no sight could see that you aren't happy with this betrothal” Arthur began after he let out a tired sigh. You look down at your lap again, feeling bad. He was right. Arthur continues, his tone kind and promising. 
“I know I am not the person you want to marry, but I promise I will try to be someone you would actually like to be around.” 
“I don't hate you Arthur” You spoke softly, as you shook your head no. His words had comforted you in a way you didn't expect. But your words were true, you didn't hate him. He was kind, understanding, and handsome. You couldn't hate him, you tried to…but you just couldn't. Things would be easier if I did. 
“You just hate the thought of being with me” he says straightforwardly. Arthur watches as your lips part and your eyes soften, he knew he was right. And it hurts. He really wanted you to like him, because he liked you. He barely knew you, but the things he had heard about you, he liked. There was just something about you, your aura. 
“Arthur I-” 
“It's okay y/n, I understand. I really do” he tells you with a nod and fake smile, his tone a lot sadder than he wanted it to. He looked away from you and back to the bush of flowers, beautiful purple violets. He loved violets, he had a feeling you liked them to. 
“Can, can we start over?” You broke the silence with your hopeful tone. You knew that there wasn't a way to stop you and his betrothal, so there was no reason to keep up this stone-cold act anymore. The hope you had was gone, just like sihtric. It's time for me to move on. His eyes widen at your words, and his look of shock turns to a content smile. “I'd like that.” 
“Friends?” Arthur asks you with his charming smile, holding his hand out for you to shake, his eyes not leaving yours. A laugh escapes your lips, and you offer him a smile of your own, shaking his hand. I'd like that.
“Friends” 
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note: sadly no sihtric in this part :( but that’s okay, he will be back in the next part! I’m sorry for all the angst but like it was needed 😫
This is definitely not my best writing, but I just wanted to get this out as fast as I could. like I said at the top note, I was really struggling with this part. I rewrote it like 2 times.
The next chapter will be the three year time skip, and just a warning! Reader will be different, it’s been three years a lot will have changed for her, and her relationship with sihtric will also be different. I hope you guys are excited cause I’m lowkey worried about writing the next part (I have no idea what’s going to happen, genuinely)
I really hope you guys enjoyed this part! Please let me know in the comments how you feel! And feel free to send in some asks about the series, I would love to answer them!
Comments, likes and reblogs are very much appreciated!
taglist: @clairacassidy @mads-weasley @haikyusfics @emilyhufflepufftlk @bubblyabs @kitkat1690 @brianochka @solinarimoon
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Copyright ©️ 2023, all rights reserved. You can’t copy, translate, reproduce, repost my fic, use my plot or layout.
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wanderingswampbeast · 8 months
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Long Post: Why I Don’t Like The Drow
I’ve been ranting about this to a friend on discord (a lot of points I make will come from him) but I’ve finally figured out what my issue with the drow is outside of inherently evil groups being dumb.
The drow are boring. Drow lore is less of a dive into a unique culture and more of a list of fucked up things they do. Like, I cannot name a single interesting aspect of typical drow society that does not directly involve murder, sexism, or slavery, or Lolth. And even then, most of those things are written about in an incredibly bland fashion with them.
The Drow don’t really have much depth to them, and are just kind of evil for evil’s sake (or “because Lolth said so”). They do slavery, but the only real purpose of doing slavery for them is “because Lolth said so”. It isn’t for cheap labor, it’s to be more evil. They betray each other purely because that’s what evil people do. They’re misandrist, not for any real societal reason, but because Lolth hates men. There’s none of what would make slavery an interesting topic or story element, no justification for why they should be allowed to commit one of the worst injustices possible, no real economic reason for it. They just do it because Lolth says they should, and from a writing perspective it hammers home the fact that they’re evil. They aren’t evil because they enslave and murder, they enslave and murder because they’re evil, if that makes any sense.
Them being written as comically evil as they are also hurts them from a worldbuilding perspective. They’re so reliant on slaves for menial labor that the lower class of their society struggle to get jobs. Drow culture so obsessed with betrayal and dumbass house wars that even when actively under attack from the outside they sabotage each other. They’re so decadent that their buildings are held up with magic and semi regularly collapse when a spell fails. To put it bluntly, drow society feels like one that should have collapsed in a few centuries, which, funnily enough, is way longer than D&D elves live.
Their culture being so monolithic also makes writing anything about them difficult. Every drow antagonist is going to have near identical motivations, methods, and ideologies as every other drow antagonist. Every drow protagonist is going to ultimately feel very similar to Drizzt, because leaving their fucked up society to become a do-gooder is such a common backstory element that they added a whole extra god just for doing that. In fact, you can divide 90% of drow characters from any official materials into these categories:
Manservant
Ambitious male, usually a wizard (5 bucks says he has long hair and a widow’s peak)
Dommy Mommy Warcrime Woman
Drizzt Do’Urden or one of his many duplicates
Self-loathing and/or resentful Drider
And finally, their existence almost purely to be humanoid enemies you can fight at nearly any levels is just kind of lazy. This is a problem that I have with the “evil races” of a lot of fantasy but having a group that’s evil by birth just feels like an excuse to not have to write actual motivations for your antagonists. It’s the difference between “go attack this camp of soldiers because they’re part of the SkullMurder army and their general wants to use our land to build a dread fortress” vs “go attack this camp of soldiers specifically because they’re drow/goblins/orcs/the dreaded peepee-poopoo folk”. Using stuff like this just feels like an excuse to not have to write an actual antagonist since it comes pre-written in the group’s lore. This has the side effect of whenever such a group is the antagonist of the plot, the players or audience know near exactly what to expect. The orc is here to conquer, the goblin is here to steal, and the drow is here to enslave or do some dark ritual.
I’ve legitimately heard people say “well if XYZ can’t be inherently evil anymore, who will we use as bad guys?” It’s very simple: whoever the fuck we want. Write an evil queen, or a scheming wizard, or an underground slave trade network. For God’s sake, anyone can be evil, you don’t need to tie that to a specific ethnic group and write it as “they’re just like that”. Write an actual character for your antagonist.
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midnight-in-town · 1 year
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Frances Midford : The Mentor, a summary
To follow with my post about fighting against misinformation, here’s a first topic. 
Ciel’s remaining aunt is often viewed by the fandom as a mean lady who doesn’t care, because of a) all the mysteries around the family that Ciel doesn’t know about and b) the use of comic relief in Kuroshitsuji often used to hide some relevant clues, as previously demonstrated in this post. This is actually far from what her character really is about and I intend to demonstrate it now with a (long) recap post. 
I have talked about Frances a lot in the past, about her caring about our!Ciel and about her possibly knowing, like Tanaka, that he was lying about his identity. While the former is undeniably true, the latter is still up for debate. [X][X][X][X] However, with the upcoming adaptation of the Weston arc (probably) in 2024, I don’t want the old discourse to come back, so without further ado...
What Yana has said about Frances’ character
Besides our!Ciel, Frances is the last remaining Phantomhive (not counting real!Ciel as a BD). She’s Vincent’s younger sister, they both have the same parents (that is to say Claudia P and Cedric K. Ros) and she married out of the family (implying that maybe the Phantomhives have distant relatives still alive), becoming Lady Midford. 
According to Yana, Frances takes after their dad while Vincent takes after their mom and the same is true for her kids, meaning Ed takes after her (thus takes after his maternal grandfather) while Liz takes after Alexis. 
As far as her relationship with our!Ciel is concerned, here’s what Yana said in the guidebook : “Frances' strength of character is why Sebastian chose her as a role model Ciel should follow”. Since her relationship with Lizzie is sometimes also viewed negatively, I’d like to add that both in the guidebook and on twitter, Yana said that “Liz thinks her mom is kind and strong so she looks up to her mom as a role model she aspires to become”, hence the similar hair style.
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TL;DR Yana’s overall description of Frances is that a) she’s kind and strong which is why b) she’s Lizzie’s role model, as well as the role model Sebastian thinks our!Ciel should follow.
Now that this is established, here’s what the canon story gives us, to illustrate Yana’s words. Spoilers for the entire manga series and long read below the cut.
Frances’ introduction
Frances is introduced in ch14 and, boy, what a generally misunderstood chapter by some parts of the fandom. xDD
Contextually, ch14 is Ciel’s birthday, meaning it is also the anniversary of the massacre of the previous household and Madam Red just died, after trying to kill him. For those who might wonder, the guidebook confirmed that our!Ciel was quite saddened by Ann’s death (obviously), so really, what a fun 13th birthday in perspective. Cue Liz and Frances. 
The comments on her strength aside, Frances’ introduction is otherwise often misread as her nagging being inappropriate but I beg to differ. As mentioned by @akumadeenglish​ and @chibimyumi​, Yana is Japanese author who likes to explore writing tropes in depth. Though it’s also important to remember that, before the curry arc, Yana didn’t know how long the series would run so everything had less intent, because the story was initially supposed to end quickly.
In other words, Frances’ introduction really is initially to be read as the severe mother-in-law (based on Japanese comical stereotypes) coming to check on how he handles his household, which is why Seb is so stressed out when everything goes bonkers. But that’s only the surface. 
Most importantly though, Frances showed up because it is Ciel’s birthday and, as said above, there’s a lot of negative and dreadful memories associated with this day. So...
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...let’s change his mind, shall we? 
Phantomhives love games and Frances is a Phantomhive too, the last one besides our!Ciel, so she knows her nephew and chooses an activity she knew he wouldn’t be able to resist. 
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Ch14 also introduces two important facts that are still relevant as plot points, especially as far as the Blue Revenge arc is concerned. The first one is that our!Ciel protected Lizzie from that bear, so Frances said she owes him. 
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Secondly, as stated by Frances herself, she knows the ropes of the “game” (aka acting as the Watchdog) better than our!Ciel (”you’ve still got a decade to go before you can even think of winning against me”). 
In fact, like our!Ciel with real!Ciel, Frances was probably raised as Vincent’s spare [X][X], but compared to our!Ciel who knew next to nothing about his father’s real job until 3 years ago (at the time of ch14), Frances is an experienced veteran...
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And that’s why Seb chose her as a role model for our!Ciel.
Therefore it is my opinion that ch14, despite being written back when Sensei didn’t know how long the series would be published, is still relevant as heck when it comes to Frances’ role in the series, aka acting as a mentor for our!Ciel (and for Lizzie, as Yana also stated). Kuroshitsuji is a slow story though, with a lot of build up and it’s why some fans still fail to see how significant Frances is to the plot and to our!Ciel’s development. 
Campania arc
Liz is the one who comes to ask our!Ciel to come with her whole family (thus introducing Alexis and Edward) on a cruise, but it’s also very important to note that she conveyed that Frances thought that our!Ciel should take time off of work:
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This led some of us fans to theorize that maybe Tanaka used to send updates to Frances about our!Ciel’s wellbeing and how he fared as the Watchdog: the timing of the cruise works well with Frances’ remark, considering that the Queen just sent Charles Grey as a merry punishment for Ciel’s deeds during the Circus arc. 
This arc mostly highlights Frances’ bravery and strength : she didn’t hesitate to fight for countless of passengers unrelated to her (something that UT said isn’t very typical of Phantomhives, during Weston)...
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More importantly, we finally get into Lizzie’s personal motivations and we indeed have the confirmation that...
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...Frances is a big key to Lizzie’s strength, confirming the role model/mentor position that she holds in Lizzie’s eyes. I’d like to also point out that Frances completely trusts in her daughter’s abilities, which highlights a very positive mother/daughter dynamic.
Lizzie’s flashback gives us this very important bit...
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...a part that’s unfortunately often overlooked by the fans complaining that Frances is too severe with our!Ciel and Lizzie. This scene however makes way more sense once we find out, after the Weston arc, that Frances lost her mother Claudia (the Watchdog before Vincent) when she was probably about 12 or 13 years old (Vincent being 15 years old then). 
To me, this is a big explanation as to why Frances is as serious about training as she is:
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Indeed, she lost at least her mom (and later her brother) so, since her daughter is betrothed to the future Watchdog, she wants Liz to be strong enough to survive. All I see in the former panel is a mother saddened by the burden on her child’s shoulder and desperate to imagine that she will be exposed to a lot of danger as an adult. 
Side point there, but it’s likely there’s a very relevant reason Frances’ only daughter was betrothed to Vincent’s heir when they were young kids. We’ll dive into it later, but I believe the answer is tied to the Phantomhive lineage introduced in ch103. 
Lastly, our!Ciel’s flashback also gave us another important bit to explore...
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...which is that our!Ciel directly applies what Frances once told him to his current path for revenge: 
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Also note the allusion again to Vincent ���losing the game”, creating a parallel with Frances telling our!Ciel in ch14 that “he still has a decade to go before he can even think of winning against her”, because he has a lot to learn from her, especially since even he admits that he knows next to nothing about his own family.
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The previous spare teaching the spare. How fitting. :D
Weston arc
Even if Frances only appears in this arc during the cricket game, I think there is a lot to be deduced from it. First, I’ve said it long ago and I’ll say it again: I strongly believe Frances played a part into Vincent’s victory during the first blue miracle.
Mind you, Tanaka basically confirmed that Vincent cheated to win (since he knew what Seb and Ciel were up to) and I could totally see Vincent asking his strong little sister to crossdress in order to destroy the Green team. xDD Besides, she certainly seems uneasy whenever the topic is brought up and she also wasn’t fooled by Ciel’s act when he won, haha!
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This is silly, but this shows (imo) that Frances and Vincent had a good sibling dynamic, with Frances supporting her brother as the Watchdog as much as she could, which is heartwarming because this means Frances would have no reason not to support her brother’s sons after his death. 
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Tanaka (who, according to Yana, was already in the household taking care of Vincent and Frances as children) and Frances happily dancing together at the end of the tournament also confirms this. Vincent and Frances having a strong sibling bond would also explain why, despite Claudia’s death, Frances would agree to the betrothal between Lizzie and Vincent’s heir (and would keep it that way, even after Vincent’s death).
All that to say, I’m sure the cricket game confirmed to Frances how similar our!Ciel is to Vincent on some aspects (the second blue miracle attests to that), which probably makes him somewhat predictable (and reassuring?) to her.
One thing that I also believe is important is Ed’s mini flashback during the game. On this topic, Yana has said that she couldn’t draw his backstory in detail, so she’ll probably expand on that in the future, which makes me think that there is some foreshadowing in there. 
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TBH I think it’s ironic that Ed would consider himself as “ordinary”, considering the whole lineage thing introduced one arc later. xDD But also, if we consider that the tale of Vincent’s first blue miracle is supposed to hint that Vincent and Frances were close as siblings, it’s nice that Ed, who takes after his mom the most, would also have his own flashback about loving and looking up to his sister a lot, despite his small inferiority complex. Considering that Liz sees their mom as her role model though, I guess that means Ed also sees his mom as a role model (though the Campania arc already made that pretty clear). 
During the Weston arc, Frances also managed to surprise Sebastian, both by recognizing him (lol) and by stopping him despite his intent to leave, which is, according to the demon himself, no small feat: 
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Like the usual nagging she does towards Seb though, it’s played for laugh, but as introduced in this post, I believe overused comic relief is a way to foreshadow some hints and we’ll dive into it with the next arc. 
Last but not least, during this arc UT commented that our!Ciel was different from his ancestors when he willingly put himself in danger to save Joanne...
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...but as presented during the Campania arc, it seems it’s a trait he shares at least with his aunt, furthering the parallels between them and the fact that she would definitely make a good mentor for our!Ciel, because they’re quite alike and can probably understand each other. 
Green Witch arc
The only relevant part of this arc with Frances’ character is the introduction of a special lineage in the Phantomhive family by German Shinigamis...
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...something that might explain why our!Ciel was able to notice them, when even Seb didn’t. So this begs the question: who else in his family shares this lineage? And obviously, Frances and her kids might !
My personal opinion is that the lineage thing is old and is probably why the Phantomhive family became the Watchdogs, many generations ago. But also, if our!Ciel can notice Shinigamis thanks to it, could it explain why Frances was able to detect and catch Seb during opening ceremony before the cricket game at Weston? And why she always nags him about his appearance (both hair and face)? That remains to be confirmed, but...
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...at the very least Bravat in the recent arc confirmed that some gifted people like himself can “sense” that demons are different. Just like animals [x][x], apparently. Bravat is irrelevant besides being a small scale villain though, so I take it as a hint for a more plot significant character, such as Frances, whose nagging behavior towards Seb is way too overused as comic relief anyway. 
The lineage thing is yet one more family topic on which Frances probably has answers to give to our!Ciel (the only other people who might know about it being Tanaka and UT). 
Bonus : if what Vincent said below about strong-willed women in the family line (from a side story “With Father”) is a hint towards the lineage thing...
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...then it’s probably why Vincent wanted Lizzie to be betrothed to his heir in the first place and why Frances agreed. 
Blue sect & blue revenge arcs
I already mentioned that Bravat’s innate ability to recognize Seb as a demon was a hint that other characters, like Frances, might be able to guess that Seb is a demon as well, so moving on to ch151 :
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This chapter confirms that UT has known Frances since she was very young (which is a hint to the UT = Cedric theory of course), which also explains why, knowing about her strength, UT went on with the whole BD massacre on the Campania despite the presence of our!Ciel and the Midfords on board. 
Also, while this chapter neither confirms nor denies if Frances knew about our!Ciel lying about his identity (like Tanaka and UT did), she didn’t show anger nor disbelief about the situation, just her incomprehension.  
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More than anything, this chapter strongly hints that our!Ciel will at some point seek his aunt for a talk before the final confrontation with UT and real!Ciel, because both are seeking answers to their different questions (our!Ciel needs to find out about UT & his grandmother and the lineage thing, while Frances will want to know what’s the deal between the twins). Speaking of which, a talk between Lizzie and Frances is probably also in order, before Lizzie can choose our!Ciel’s side again.
Lastly, ch151 hinted that Frances doesn’t fully believe that real!Ciel’s return is “natural”...
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...and, i mean, why would she? She faced the Bizarre Dolls on the Campania and, for all we know, Edward told her how the Weston arc ended so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ considering that UT has been involved every time, the Midfords probably aren’t far from connecting the dots about real!Ciel being already dead. 
To sum up !
Outside of the narrative, Yana said that Frances was Lizzie’s role model and that Seb also wanted her to be the model our!Ciel should follow. And, in my opinion, the entire series so far (as I tried to present in this post) is slowly building up to that because :
our!Ciel and Frances are very similar: both the spares & both survived their parents’ and brothers’ death 
both saved folks unrelated to them despite being Phantomhives, meaning that they are a bit alike and can understand each other
our!Ciel literally built his path of revenge following the advice Frances told him about how to counterattack an opponent
Again, to understand who targeted his family, our!Ciel needs to find out about his grandmother, about the lineage and about why his dad had to be killed amongst other things. The only people who can answer him are UT, Tanaka and Frances. 
I believe UT and Tanaka are more connected to Claudia, but also both are by real!Ciel’s side for now, making them less accessible for a talk. This leaves Frances for the time being and, as Vincent’s sister and Claudia’s daughter, it seems appropriate that answers would be coming from her. 
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Also, in shonen series, usually the hero(es) have a mentor figure who will help them “unlock their potential” through training. Kuroshitsuji is not your usual shonen and I doubt our!Ciel can become better at fighting lmao, but Frances can certainly help him better appreciate the massive scale he’s bound to face when seeking his revenge. Especially if it all goes back to events from 3 generations ago and a worldbuilding full of supernatural elements, as well as a world war he doesn’t entirely comprehend yet. 
Frances acting as a mentor/role model for her own kids also foreshadows that they’ll follow our!Ciel on his journey and, like him, they’ll definitely need her wisdom/knowledge to be able to reach the necessary level for survival by his side.
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As to when all that is going to happen, well, I’d say Frances will probably take on a more active role in the plot when, to quote Seb in ch14, "[our!Ciel] will overconfidently believe that he cannot lose and that it will be necessary for him to carry himself with humility while striving for his goal". Because by then, "an adult who will be firm with him is what he'll need". 
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If that doesn’t foreshadow the current conflict between the twins, I don’t know what does. xD
Thanks for reading!! As always, let me know if I’ve forgotten anything !
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jetspikepub · 1 year
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Early concepts of episodes from Bounty Hunter's Steel edition artbook
I copied the text from that unboxing video. The old story seems a bit different and somewhat darker than the final version. For example, Ed's father was a criminal, and Vicious planned to kill Jet with the hands of his former co-worker. Toys in the Attic episode originally had "the floor is lava" idea with infected insects. Many concepts made it to the show but in another form.
#1 “Asteroid Blues”
Episode where Spike and Jet are introduced and play active roles.
The setting is Tijuana, a Mexico-like asteroid.
A bounty named Asimov stole and ran off with illegal eye drops, and now he’s on the run with his woman Katerina. Spike pursues them, but the effect of the eye drops makes things difficult. But at the same time, this proves fatal to Asimov.
#2 “Stray Dog Strut”
Confrontation with Hakim, a martial artist and serial pet thief bounty. Men from a secret animal research lab also show up.
A Martian Chinatown is the setting.
The dog he stole is actually a highly intelligent data dog.
#3 “Honky Tonk Women”
Faye’s introductory episode.
Suffering from money troubles, Spike and crew encounter Faye at a casino.
She’s a bounty, but she unexpectedly ends up running about with them.
The money card she stole from the casino is counterfeit electronic money. In the end, Faye runs off with the reward money for her own bounty.
#4 “Gateway Shuffle”
Faye blows through the money, then comes back. She tells Spike and Jet to let her join them, but she winds up getting in their way.
An episode about the terrorist Twinkle and her virus bomb.
A battle within a Gate (hyperspace). Twinkle disperses bombs at the Gate.
She’s an environmental protection terrorist, and she utilizes a virus that only harms humans.
#5 “Ballad of Fallen Angels”
A Vicious episode. It shows just a little of Spike’s past.
A bounty is placed on Mao, Spike’s teacher from his gangster days. But he’s already been killed, and it’s all a trap.
Spike is caught in the trap, and he and Vicious have a fateful confrontation.
#6 “Sympathy for the Devil”
Wen, a boy who plays the blues harp. His actual age is 58. Due to the effect of the Gate accident, he’s stopped aging and his body won’t die.
Spike and crew show up in pursuit of another bounty, Giraffe, but Giraffe gets killed. Then when Spike learns of Wen’s dreadful purpose, he gets shot.
#7 “An episode like The Wages of Fear” – mecha episode
#8 Waltz for Venus
A story in the Venusian desert.
Spike and crew capture some hijacker bounties.
That’s when Spike meets a punk named Roco, for whom he feels an odd sense of friendship. But there’s a bounty oh his head. He had stolen gems for the sake of his blind sister Stella.
#9 Jamming with Edward
Ed’s introductory episode. A hacker stroty. We see Earth for the first time.
A story about Domino, a man controlling an electronic religion from the shadows. Somewhat comedic.
The adherents have wound up as mummies (?).
#10 “Boogie Woogie Feng Shui”
A story about a Universal Feng Shui master.
A chance encounter leads Jet to accept a request from the girl Mei to search for the legendary Feng Shui master Jicca Pacca.
But he turns out to be Pao, Mei’s father who was supposedly dead.
#11 “Mushroom Samba” – comedy
The Bebop pursues a hit-and-run ship to a frontier asteroid. There, Ed and Ein get their hands on some mysterious mushrooms.
But when Spike and the others eat the mushrooms, they start acting funny.
On that world, a bounty named Chingensai was growing illegal mushrooms.
#12 “My Funny Valentine (Part 1)”
A story about the androgynous Gren, as well as Spike’s and Vicious’ past.
Information about Julia comes is. The Bebop crew splits up. Two stories progress simultaneously, and they become one at the end.
Faye meets Gren. But he has bounty on his head.
#13 “My Funny Valentine (Part 2)”
The conclusion of the previous story.
As a lead-in to the second half of the series, the artificial eye comes up.
There’s apparently some dreadful secret behind Spike’s one artificial eye.
#14 “Cosmic Gypsy Jive”
An episode about criminal support software. Incidents following the exact same pattern occur in various places. They’re crimes that use the same criminal support software.
The culprit who made the software is a 120-year-old man. But there’s a vital flaw in the software.
A story about a Kowloon Walled City in outer space – a spaceship graveyard.
#15 “Insect Stomp”
An onboard bug panic episode. A comedy where nobody can take a step outside.
A new kind of virus gets inside the ship by way of an insect. Spike and crew fight back, but it evolves again and again.
#16 “Ganymede Elegy”
An episode about a Ganymede fishing boat. The Bebop plays an active role as a kamikaze ship.
Jet meets up again with and old colleague. But having been threatened by Vicious, he attempts to kill Jet.
#17 “Monkey Business”
An episode about criminal brain surgeon Doctor Strange and bio-robot with its own consciousness. A mad scientist tale.
A biocomputer becomes neurotic. It’s a crazy episode.
#18 “An episode about a marriage swindler (Faye’s former lover)”
#19 “Daydream Believer”
An episode about vegetative boy hacker. Ed’s short-lived love.
An electronic religion episode.
In the end, she aids him by making someone else the culprit. Ed takes the bounty money and decides on her own to donate it anonymously.
A story where they go to access a planet that’s been digitized onto a hard drive.
#20 “Pierrot Le Fou”
An episode about a Tongpu, a clown-like assassin who comes after Spike.
A peculiar hard-boiled style. A battle in an outer space amusement park.
Surreal imagery. Ed gets lost.
#21 “Goodbye, Porkpie Hat”
An episode about the Titanic, a ghost ship in hyperspace. Faye reacts very sensitively to it. Her father went missing on the Titanic.
#22 “The man from Titan”
An episode about a criminal who’s a combat veteran. Has a Vietnam story feel to it. We learn that Vicious was a mercenary too.
#23 “An episode about the origins of Spike’s ship” – mecha episode
#24 “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”
An episode where they catch Ed’s father, who was sentenced to life imprisonment for shoplifting. (ex-thug)
This story is a bit touching. This is where Ed returns to Earth.
#25 “Shooting Star Bebop (Part 1)”
The secret of Spike’s artificial eye. The past and the present overlap.
Vicious murders the Red Dragon elders and becomes the boss.
Spike and crew receive bounties on their heads, Spike finally reunites with Julia. But she points a gun at him.
#26 “Shooting Star Bebop (Part 2)”
The continuation. Without telling anyone, Spike launches an attack on Red Dragon. Faye’s wavering heart. The final confrontation with Vicious. Spike defeats Vicious, but he too is wounded, and he ends up collapsing. And then…
The following are episodes that aren’t likely to make it in.
# “Murder in the Europa Mist”
# “Last Waltz”
An episode about Wong, a legendary old bounty hunter. He comes out of retirement for one last job - an unsolved case from twenty years ago.
#“Let It Bleed”
An episode about Piggy, a homicidal maniac who killed all the staff at a Neptune observatory, then disappeared.
Psychological thriller. A battle at an aquarium.
# “Shoot the Pro Bowler”
An episode where they go to a prison on Pluto. A former pro bowler turned criminal, Magic Bones. He was a bowling legend, but he got kicked out for rigging his games after betting on them.
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pinkmoondoll9shihtzu · 6 months
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all the talk about demons is really interesting to me so i wanted to share my demon story (although im not traditionally religious so i usually resist the term demon bc i feel like it has really specific connotations to most people... but my experience with a negative parasitic entity)
lived in a 200 year old house in an extremely spiritually active area of land where weird shit happened often and there was a creepy vibe always but this was the worst thing that ever happened there and the most sinister by far. most of the creepy energy just felt like nature spirits which are indifferent to human life. but basically my sibling had an extremely bad drug addiction and a lot of mental health problems and his room became extremely unpleasant to go into, there was a terrifying energy always like if you went in there to get something it felt like you were about to be grabbed. he moved out in very upsetting circumstances and after he was gone I think the negative entity which had accumulated in there feeding off his unhappiness had nothing left to consume so it started to come out. the first thing that happened was only mildly weird, the door to his room like locked and unlocked itself on its own when my sister tried to go in. now that i'm typing this i realize i cant actually remember a lot of the details, and stuff like the door being locked inexplicably is fairly normal weird old house stuff, but it felt so sinister and terrifying at the time, we were all aware of it even though it wasn't directly expressed. the thing that made me realize there was an actual entity in that room coming out was my mom woke up and found a tissue box on the foot of her bed. it wasn't the one from her room because that was still there, and because it was blue (my brother's color) we realized it had come from his bedroom. so this thing took the box of tissues out of my brother's room and put it on the foot of his mother's bed to torment her. idk this sounds so mundane typing it but it was legit one of the most chilling things i've ever experienced. i felt that the entity was like a black hole, nothingness that fed on nothingness and created more nothingness.. like the exact opposite of a living creature. I tried to force it out by visualizing my energy pushing it out of the room and i think it partially worked.. idk hmm....... i hope this isn't too much demon stuff i dont wanna bring down the vibe of your blog.. this is 2012 3arth n01ses btw i just didn't want this to be findable via my blog bc its personal family info
it's ok i dont think it brings down the vibe ^^ i like to talk about this stuff especially as i feel very protected at this stage in my life i am inclined to pass along some of my feelings towards ~the spiritual war~ as many people are looking to gain insight. to me it feels very objective to analyze & discuss..
and i relate to this story a lot o_o i've experienced poltergeist activity and it's no joke,.. when an entity becomes strong enough to start messing with the physicality of this realm it is absolutely horrifying even on the most minor scale. there's been a few haunted houses i've lived in where it's happened but this story really reminds me of when i was living in new mexico at my exes house..
my ex and i shared a room that was a newer addition to the house. but the main part of the house was over 100 years old & an alcoholic man had killed himself in my exes childhood bedroom during the great depression. i could not fucking be in this room, like, the second i stepped in there i was filled to the brim with dread & discomfort like the walls were closing in on me. no one else seemed to feel any type of way about this room, but my exes dad had said something interesting about it. it was next to the bathroom & the house was so old that the pipes were made of clay, so in winter they had to dig underneath the house to like, repair the pipes or alleviate pressure on them or something?
anyways the first winter i was there one day my exes dad mentioned that he saw a tiny shadow man run across the yard into the hole under this room. to me it instantly felt like something ancient. and i felt the man who killed himself in that room was being tormented by this thing. because in present times this is still a very dysfunctional household, especially concerning addiction. that room especially just felt so fucking heavy.
one time i was going to the bathroom at midnight, my ex was out with friends, her parents were sleeping in their own room. as i walked past the haunted room the door was open and i heard a voice say "hello!" but it sounded distant, like it was echoing, but not echoing in the room, it was echoing through dimensions. i became TERRIFIED & i ran into the bathroom, i sat there listening with the door open just to try and assess the situation, like maybe my exes dad woke up or something? then i heard loud footsteps walking out of the creepy room towards me. i slammed the bathroom door shut. the footsteps stopped and there was no more sound after that, neither of the parents were awake. i was so shocked. its still hard for me to believe.
but i do feel the man who killed himself in that room gave the entity a huge surplus of energy to work with. and it was causing all types of chaos in that house. i also find it interesting how it waited for my ex to be out of the house before presenting itself to me. because it was rare for us to be apart at that time. since it was her childhood bedroom i feel the entity has a special attachment to her. and it's very similar to your brother. i'm sorry your family has had to go thru this ): but you're not alone.. and you seem to be taking a higher path from my own observations it seems you've learned a lot from this experience and allowed it to elevate your cosciousness rather than falling victim to it. so good for you, your soul is strengthened, really the best case scenario from this.
thanks for another message...your intuition is on your side <3 PMD9 xxxxxxxxx
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Writing is... Coping.
Writing has always been coping.
I've been a storyteller for as long as my memories allow me to remember - tiny, three year old me was already playing out complex plots with a billion characters, five-year-old me told stories on the playground during recess to the other children, ten-year-old me wrote her first shitty fanfic.
My brother can try to claim he's the master of the fine arts, the creative one in the family - but he's wrong. For him, writing was just that - a silly activity to engage in when bored.
To me, it was one of my only lifelines.
My early stories are cruel, ugly. They're full of anger, malice, hatred, they aim to hurt the reader, aim to infuse them with the same desperation I've always experienced in the backround.
The slowly creeping dread of seeing once beloved eyes become cold, uncaring, and foreign. The silent wait for the other shoe to drop, as the tension climbs and climbs and climbs and climbs until the story's just done, without relief, without ending. The descent into obsession that feels so right but comes with turning everyone away from you.
It was a cry for help. I've been abused for all my life, and the words had to go somewhere, the feelings had to go somewhere, the understanding that something is wrong, wrong, so wrong, that you're walking on a false floor and you don't know what's beneath it - and it went into my stories, my precious, prised, bloody stories, gripped tight, told in harsh quick whispers and held close, close to my chest.
It's different, now - writing was the first hobby I rediscovered after I moved to a different city for college. It's where I felt the true glint of inspiration for the first time. It's where one of the first good words, words untainted by the horrors once experienced, finally got written, where ideas outside of suffering were born.
But to that visceral, animalistic, traumatised part of myself writing is not a hobby, it's a lifeline.
My mother calls. She called me every foul name under the sun yesterday. She is perfectly chipper, like nothing happened, like she didn't turn into a horrible monster, like I didn't have to spend hours calming myself down. I have a tiny fairytale written, now - I just opened my keyboard and started writing, until my brain could actually catch up to what was going on - because I didn't want to entertain my suicidal thoughts.
And there she is. Talking like it never happened.
Before I know it, my keyboard is open and words start flowing as soon as the calls goes down, and the lives of my characters become slightly worse.
It's okay. They get their happy moments, too.
You know, when I'm not looking to get away from the desire to harm myself.
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chorusfm · 6 months
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Applied Communications – “Oxytocin Drunk” (Song Premiere)
Today I’m excited to share with everyone the latest single from Applied Communications called “Oxytocin Drunk.” Applied Communications is the music alias of Max Wood, and he channels his love for slick production and powerful songwriting in a crowd-pleasing package. When speaking on the new single, Max shared that “Oxytocin Drunk” is “the first song I finished when I decided to make music again. It’s about the joy of being disappointed; realizing that means that you are capable of caring really deeply about the people, ideas, and experiences in your life. I tried to keep it relatively straightforward and poppy, though the yowling off-key chorus vocals and abrupt shifts will probably lose some folks.” If you’re enjoying the new single, please consider pre-ordering his upcoming EP here. I was also able to catch up with Max for a brief interview below. Applied Communications · Oxytocin Drunk Can you tell us more about the meaning behind this single? This will sound super emo, but it’s mainly about being nostalgic for the bad parts of youth: the broken hearts, unrelenting acne, existential dread, fear of being left out and left behind, etc. – all these things that matter because you care about yourself, your friends, and your future. I think it’s common to want to protect yourself from pain and awkwardness as you age, but I think there’s also a lot of joy you can unlock in making yourself vulnerable to it. Your new EP Applied Communications Has A Midlife Crisis drops later this month, what can we expect from the new project and is there anything you’d like to share ahead of the release? It’s five off-kilter pop songs featuring lots of casio, drum machines, and random electronic elements. My voice is a little hard for some people to tolerate and there are discordant melodies and key changes that probably straddle the line between “cool and experimental” and “wtf is this” – but I’m pretty proud of it. This is your first new full release since the early 2000s. How has your return to music been and do you find it to be different than when you were releasing stuff years ago? My experience has been great! I’ve been really lucky to find support from a bunch of young folks who carry the same kind of anxious angsty dread that motivated my music twenty years ago. Music writ large is so wildly different, though. I feel like there used to be a pretty low hard cap on how many bands or artists had any sort of relevance. This is an obvious point, but you had to actually manufacture CDs (then get them distributed and sold in stores). Then to be discovered by listeners, you had to somehow get coverage in a magazine and/or airplay on a college radio station. As a result, just spitballing, I’d guess that there were maybe 10,000 bands with a meaningful number of listeners at any point in time. But according to ChartMetric, even the one millionth most popular band in the world right now has something like a thousand active monthly listeners on Spotify. That’s so bananas! It’s amazing to me that the barriers to entry have become so small. And as a result, any random person can connect with art that speaks directly to them in a way that was basically inconceivable the last time I was really active. At the same time, it obviously remains pretty much impossible to make a reasonable living off of music – even if you’re one of the bands that would’ve had moderate success in the 90s. I’d guess that there are way more bands making some small amount of money (e.g., like $5 a month or something), but fewer bands making anything close to a living wage. One more thing: it’s truly wild that I can see, basically in real time, how many people are listening to my music. There was zero visibility into any of that the last time I did this. Just so wild! --- Please consider becoming a member so we can keep bringing you stories like this one. ◎ https://chorus.fm/features/applied-communications-oxytocin-drunk-song-premiere/
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hungry-skeleton · 10 months
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Oh hey pog. I'm Muslim but my family kinda started celebrating Christmas in the USA. Basically to fit in. (Well that's what I was told when I finally asked about it but then I got told more recently that more specifically it was when my brothers and I came along 'cus my parents didn't think we'd like understand that we just don't celebrate this because of religion and that those other kids just have that Santa thing their parents do and we aren't being like Excluded or anything we just don't celebrate it. Something like that I think. Like they didn't want us feeling like we were being left out and also didn't want us being too confused so we just kinda started doing it. And hey I mean we have some people who just actually grew up celebrating Christmas in the family or close to it now [like one of my uncles {married in} who's Catholic, or my brother's fiancée] so. Yeah we have an excuse now I guess and hey we have fun with it even if it's time-consuming XD)
aight so uh I've been doing a lot of christmas carol digging for. Reasons. Kinda a minor hyperfixation at this point. Started back in like November tbh and I've mostly kept quiet about it on here but it's been on the brain when I haven't had Existential Dread or some shzt.
so uh basically Christmas Carol had the questionable choice of giving Scrooge a jewish first name which. Sucks given the whole story but like. When you know the character's backstory it's like "but his family celebrates Christmas so they're like probably Not Jewish so why does he have that name????????" And like.
I feel like I have to bring that up whenever I try to talk about anything because it genuinely is. Noticeable once you know it's a thing. But if you literally just ignore/change his first name the story is literally identical because him not celebrating Christmas is because he just had absolute shzt in life during Christmas time because his dad hated him and left him at boarding school during Christmas break and also his sister died and his fiancée left him so he just kinda started hating the whole thing. I think. Like.
ok I got that out of the way because Yeah That Sucks but like if you just change his name then the story still functions and also is actually really Based in like a lot of the rest of it because it actually Isn't just a man becoming a good person when he starts celebrating Christmas. I mean first of all the story was written during the time when Puritans were everywhere and just really fubkign hated Christmas so like even if it were it wouldn't be as obnoxious as if that kind of story got written today since Christmas was actually being like Threatened back then to my knowledge???? Or at least that's the perception and this book did like cement a lot of Christmas imagery that we know today. And I think that's cool. Also there's a scene in the book you like never see in adaptations in the Christmas Present part where it's basically just Scrooge complaining to the Ghost about that one movement I forgot the name of of people who want to absolutely shut everything down during Sundays even more than things already do and specifically targeting bakeries that keep their ovens on so that poor and homeless people can like. Have warmth. And the Ghost basically says "yeah God doesn't actually approve of that shzt even if they try to claim he does people will use God to excuse anything they do" and honestly Pog.
Yeah the story in general is kinda just like "treat the poor good" because originally Scrooge doesn't even really do anything like ACTIVE in terms of "wrongdoings" or at least everything he does is legal and he doesn't actually make anything worse actively the reason he's a bad person is literally because he has the power (money) to make things better for people and just. Doesn't. He's accumulating wealth and refuses to even give it back to the economy (he doesn't even spend it on himself??? His house sucks like damn bxtch you live like this?) and like. I mean just like billionaires right now right? And the reason he's bad is because he ISN'T giving that money to the poor when he has more than enough to. He's bad because he refuses to do good. Like he refuses to give this one family an extension on something I think and they end up rejoicing when he dies in the Yet To Come future 'cus it gives them enough time to get the money together they need to pay off their debt I think? Like, they were gonna get the money but they were gonna get it a bit after the due date and Scrooge being bad is because he refuses to do the right thing and give them the extra time because it's not in the contract. But he has the ability to give them that time. And you know I think it's based saying "even if you're not breaking the rules, if you're capable of doing a good thing you should be doing the good thing" like. Am I right-
oh yeah also because he believes in eugenicizing the poor and basically the literal Ghost of Christmas Present literally tells him off like Who are you to decide who gets to live and who should die? Like literally "rich people shouldn't get to let poor people die off" like I think our society needs that message now more than ever with all the frickin' anti-homeless architecture shzt I've seen pictures of and all the billionaires running around-
(oh and the context of it is Scrooge hearing that poor people would rather die than work in "hellish workhouses" [so probably like inhumane working conditions where they'd probably get killed anyway] and then saying that those people should die and "decrease the surplus population" and then Christmas Present throws this line back at his face when he sees the Cratchits-)
but also the story is like "yeah even if you're this bad you can still get better and who cares if some people won't accept that if you're still out there doing good things now and saying good things" and I think our society ESPECIALLY needs that now-
Ok sorry if this was hard to follow I just needed to ramble a bit like. But like God why did they have to name him that like it just adds a bad underlying taste but that taste doesn't even make sense because it contradicts other stuff and just. Like-
anyway uh I think we need to sic the ghosts onto like every billionaire right now ever who's with me-
I never made a lot of those connections because I'm so used to modern adaptations of the story (the muppets and that one really fucking scary CGI one) also I just don't watch it that often.. More of A Christmas Story fan
Anyways yeah I can't add much else you're very right.. I promise I read all of that I'm just mashed potato brain RN 💚💚 merry crisis
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astaroth1357 · 4 years
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Demigod MC Series: Athena
So. I have to deal with the virgin goddesses… By mythos, there really shouldn't ever be children of Artemis, Hestia, or Athena (yes, Athena was a virgin goddess). PJ got past that by making it canon that Annabeth and her siblings were born from cracking open Athena's skull (yes, that's also more or less the canon explanation). They gloss over it real quick but I remember, Rick. I've always remembered and that mental image has haunted me for years...
I can't, in good conscience, ignore the history around Athena's worship (call it an academic restraint) but I REFUSE to do the skull thing. So, since I make the rules here, I'm going with magic adoption. They still get magic powers, they're just more human than demigod. Cool? Cool.
Demigod MC Series: Intro, Aphrodite, Hermes, Hades, Dionysus, Demeter, Athena
Lucifer
The human that popped out of the portal seemed to have enough sense not to attack everyone in the room for a change, but even Lucifer could tell that was more of a strategic choice than for lack of ability...
Their very existence was highly unusual… and quite worrisome. He wasn't even aware Athena could have "children" of her own, but apparently she had been taking in some particularly bright humans to raise and train like her own...
Unbeknownst to him, a surprising amount of human scholars, diplomats, and generals have her to thank for their trade… and that alone should speak to the level of intrigue at play here. 
Was this an accident or Athena's attempt to plant an Olympian spy in the Devildom too…? Either way, he didn't trust them from the get go…
Look, Lucifer isn’t stupid. Athena is a goddess of Wisdom and War and war happens on more than just the battlefield… 
Since they've shown up records have been going missing, official documents keep getting misplaced, and he swears that there's some kind of bug in the student council room...!
It's infuriating watching the MC suck up to Diavolo when he's almost certain that they're running their own agenda behind the scenes! And he can't prove any of it!! They cover their tracks too well!
Lucifer has one of those corkboards covered in newspapers and string in a secret wing of the Castle - 100% dedicated to just tracking the MC's activities…. The longer they're there, the more obsessed he becomes...
He swears between Simeon, Solomon, and MC he feels like a shepherd wondering why the sheep are growling… The Devildom has never been in more danger than it is right now... Send help.
Mammon
To be honest, he kind of thought that they were just going to be Satan 2.0 but that's not really true.
They're more than just a book sponge! Though they do read, like a lot. Let’s just say from one schemer to another… Game recognizes Game.
They come up with plans and ideas soooo fast, it’s insane! Honestly, there are times where he has a new money-making plot and he just brings it to the MC first to run it over. 
Nine times out of ten, not only do they sniff out any problems but they have a solution for him in a matter of minutes! His scheme game has been on point since they’ve shown up!!
They’re also even better tutoring than Satan is, so he’s even managed to get a couple A’s for the first time in his life! Lucifer actually told him he was proud (which he secretly recorded and now uses as a ringtone much to his brother’s regret...)
So yeah, he likes them... buuut that doesn’t keep him from thinking they act a little weird sometimes... 
Mammon: *points to a unused tower close to the RAD building* Over there is the Tower of Sorrow. We use it for storage.
MC: Ah. Interesting… *starts writing in a notebook, muttering* It may need a few minor tweaks but the location is defensible...
Mammon: *stops* Ya say somethin’?
MC: *looks back up* Nope! Say, you’ve been to the Castle a lot haven’t you? Do you know any good ways in?
Mammon: Uhm… Why do ya want to know that…? *starts looking around for Lucifer*
MC: In case of emergencies. I like being prepared. 🙂
Mammon: Look, I don’t know what Lucifer might’a told ya…
MC: I’ll pay you a thousand Grimm for it.
Mammon: Well shit, ya want those maps with or without color?
... Yeeeah, that’s pretty weird… But it’s probably fine. I mean, as long as they keep giving him money, who’s he to complain? 🤷‍♀️
Leviathan
Also thought that they’d be a lot more like Satan but was pleasantly surprised that they were into more than books.
What else did they like exactly? Military strategy!!
It’s been a looong time since he’s been able to talk to someone who’s actually interested in all the battles he’s fought, both in the Celestial Realm and the Devildom, and their curiosity is kind of flattering...! Not a lot of people take his strategic prowess all that seriously anymore...
Plus, they are the BEST partner to have any turn-based strategy game. Hands down. He once got stuck on a level of D-COM for weeks until the MC walked in and mopped the floor with the AI!! They have a serious head for probability and tactics.
The House once made the mistake of letting these two be on the same team during a Hell Game and they absolutely demolished the competition. Mammon didn’t even get a single shot off before half his team was lost to a rigged paint grenade… It took a whole day to clean up… 
However, Levi’s also noticed some odd things about the human… He likes that they’re interested in his past but maybe they’re a little… too interested?
Levi: -and that’s how we defeated the Four Horsemen before they escaped from Purgatory. 
MC: Wow, Levi that’s seriously impressive!! *furiously scribbling on a notebook*
Levi: Well t-thanks… 😅 But, uhm... are you writing that down…?
MC: Hm? Oh no, just doodling. *they lift up the notebook to show a bunch of cute little sketches on the page… and not the magic-based invisible ink all over them…*
Levi: Oh you draw too? Can you do fanart???
MC: Eh, sometimes. But say Levi, can you tell me about your naval ranks again? I’m still really curious… *gets the pen ready again with a smile*
Satan
Oh, it's been a long game of cat-and-mouse between these two… and unfortunately, it’s been pretty addicting too.
He honestly had every intention of tricking the human into making a huge mess do he could bother Lucifer, but at every turn they proved just a hair too clever for him...
He once gave them a cursed book to “lend” to Lucifer, but they saw through it the moment they touched it and lifted the spell before handing it over.
He rigged a podium to spray glitter during one of Lucifer's speeches but the MC disconnected the trigger mic before he even got on stage. It was pretty dang frustrating...
At one point he got so desperate that, just as a test, he tried to trap them in the House's Music Room. Fortunately for them, it only took a few minutes to work out an escape. They even passed by him in the hallway with a wink!
It's confounding! It's infuriating!! 
...and it's so damn sexy... He should be furious but he’s just in awe!!
Add on that they know their art, literature, and multiple different crafts thanks to the tutelage of their adopted mother and that’s it. He’s finished. This boy is in love.
Truthfully though, a part of him is 90% sure that they’re also gathering state secrets… Like, they’re watching Barbs and Diavolo far too close for comfort - but he just can't bring himself to care. 🤷‍♀️
The MC could walk into his room one day and say, "Hey, do you want to help overthrow the monarchy with me?" and he dreads it because deep down he knows that he wouldn’t say no…
Take some notes, kids. Some bad influences get you to drink or do drugs. Others pull you into a centuries long conspiracy to destabilize and topple rival realms from within… But he has fallen for their brain hard. Devil help them all…
Asmodeus 
They’re pretty clever, he’ll give them that, but uh… Are they a little off to anybody else?
Asmo is a charmer by birthright so he has a bit of nose for when someone’s just a liiittttle too nice… Not much of a nose mind you, because he can be thrown off by compliments himself, but enough to think that the MC might be a little too… “kind” for their own good...
First off, who wants to spend that much time with Levi?? They don’t even seem that interested in anime! They just keeping asking him for old war stories…
Then all the sucking up they do to Diavolo and Barbatos? Look, he gets it. Diavolo is a delicious piece of man-hunk and his butler could give him a lesson or two in sweet-talk (and he has), but they seem to be just a little too… nosy.
Of course, Asmo’s suspicions disappear pretty quickly after they start to spoil him with spa nights and beauty secrets they picked up from “casual research” into the subject.
And you know, get a little Demonus in Asmo and start massaging his back? Oh, sweetie he’ll sing like a bird!! … with gossip. Singing with gossip.
Asmo: So I’ve heard that Lucifer has been spending more time at RAD than usual… His whole club is talking about it, they think he’s meeting with some witch!
MC: Hm, is that so? *works on a knot near his shoulder blades* What do you think?
Asmo: Ooh~! Right there, MC! *purrs and lays his head on his arms* Well come on, this is Lucifer we’re talking about! I’m sure he’s just working.
Asmo: Hmm... though come to think of it, I think I heard him asking Barbatos for the spare keys to the Tower of Sorrow…
MC: Oh really? Huh. *works out the knot and gets up* I just remembered that I left some papers with Satan... I’ll be right back.
Asmo: You’re going already??
MC: *waves him off quickly* I’ll be right back, Asmo. *hurries out the door to do totally on-the-up-and-up things… surely*
Beelzebub 
Honestly he doesn't like this one… But not for the reasons you'd expect.
He agrees with everyone else that they seem a little shady, but Solomon and Simeon are too so it's not like that's anything new... 🤷‍♀️
No, no. He dislikes them because they're the person who FINALLY figured out how to keep him from eating all the food in the kitchen!!
Turns out that the trick was to put a teleportation charm on the fridge door that would send all the food away if it’s opened after a certain time of night… 
And where does it go? The Purgatory Hall fridge. And where does the Purgatory Hall food go…? The HoL fridge…
It doesn’t sound so bad until you remember that it means half of their fridge is now Solomon’s leftovers…. 🤢
After they put the same kind of spell on the pantry, it was all over… He couldn't get midnight snacks from the House anymore… Everything was contaminated by Solomon…
The MC is a nice enough person, he doesn’t have a lot of complaints about them, but he wants them to leave. Now. This is inexcusable… He’s so hungry… and he doesn’t want to die by “goulash” or whatever Solomon calls his latest culinary catastrophe… He’s still too young for death… 😓
Belphegor 
In a way, he absolutely could not have asked for a better person to help him get out of that attic.
… In another way, he got one of the worst possible people to try and kill... Like. They saw through his scheme sooo fast…
How was he supposed to know that the human had training in body language and sniffing out lies???
Getting the door open was a piece of cake for them. They knew enough magic to undo the seals and just rummaged around Lucifer's stuff long enough to find the key to the door. He could not have found a more competent individual for a break out, really.
It’s just… well he didn’t expect to go from locked in a room like a prisoner to tied up in enchanted rope, still like a prisoner but now mobile. 😑 
They even used his own hug ruse against him! They caught his wrists when they got close and tied him up before he could shake them off...
Admittedly, it wasn't exactly the best look for them either - what with walking Belphegor downstairs to the others like a one-man-prison-caravan but they're as silver-tongued as they are sly so they talked their way out of it beautifully… 
And like hell was he going to trust them after that!! And not even Beel liked them so something had to be up...
Well, you want a detective? Look no farther than Belphie (no seriously, it’s in the canon). He can put things together pretty fast when he puts his mind to it and watching the MC for a while gave him enough proof to work off of...
He always knew that, humans were bad news and the MC just proved it to him all over again. They are bad news, bad bad news and they’re going to-!
Overthrow… Diavolo…? Is that what he is getting from them…? Huh…
Wait a second, MC. You might just have him interested… 😏
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yanderart · 4 years
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   Once you found Shouto on the Anti-Purge forums, it felt so wonderful to be understood. So comforting to finally have someone you could rely on...
So, when you got a letter notifying you of your selection for the Annual Purge later on, of course you went to seek his help.
Should’ve known better than to trust strangers online, though.
My fic/portrait convo for the Yandere Purge Collab, from the Lovesick Discord. And please check the rest of the m. list for other amazing works set in the same AU!
Under the cut is the actual fic (Todoroki x Reader, nsfw, dark themes, 10k), as well as the respective TWs. Hope y'all enjoy 🥀
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Tws: Usual yandere ones (stalking, manipulation, delusion). Dub-con/Non-con. Non-consensual Drug Use, aka Aphrodisiacs. Death threats and sexism (from randoms on the forum, not Todo). 
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   You couldn’t think straight —hadn’t been able to since waking up again. All you could recognize amidst the fog currently obscuring your thoughts was the longing, prolonged, and tangible in its hold over your being.
You felt hot all over, the flames licking at your skin burning brightly as you squirmed from your place, eagerly attempting to get closer to the cold reprieve emanating from the man that held you. 
“Tell me what’s wrong, Y/N." One of his hands was steering you on his lap, the other one gently massaging your shoulders in a comforting motion. “I can only help you if you do."
If your judgment had not been overcast by the desire pushing away your self-awareness, then perhaps you could’ve heard the faint hint of amusement in his voice. Perhaps you would’ve thought to look up and finally encounter the content shine of his heterochromatic eyes.
“I feel…" speaking was laborious, your tongue impossibly weighty and your mind swirling with thoughts that escaped any semblance of coherence. “I feel hot all over. It hurts.”
The hand positioned around your waist went to search for one of your clenched ones, easily engulfing it in his grip as he nudged the side of your face with his chin rather tenderly. A gentle encouragement for you to stay attentive, anchoring you to the moment despite your dazed mindset. 
“Show me then,” his low timbre tickled your skin, sending another wave of excruciating heat to wreak havoc inside your body, “Let me know where it hurts.”
With a stuttering sigh, you proceeded to press both of your hands to your lower stomach, gulping audibly before bringing them further down. Dancing just short of your underwear while your eyelids fluttered shut. 
You knew your actions were out of character deep down. Even recognized the shadow of wrongness that distorted the current scene. You weren't supposed to do such things, weren't supposed to feel like that…
But the reality was that you were so excruciatingly warm by that point, and his palm felt so deliciously cold. 
When you heard the dreadful siren going off in the distance, the instantly recognizable sound of the Purge starting at last, you were already too far gone to think of anything else but the fingers brushing against the thin cotton of your panties, so close to the evidence of your need soaking through them. 
Your parents had told you not to trust strangers online once upon a time. You should’ve really taken their advice more to heart.
。。。。。
   But first, perhaps a little tracing of your steps is in order —some necessary context to fully understand the extension of your plight. 
You see, earlier that day you had woken up full of a peculiar mix of drive and determination. It was indeed Purge Day, the single day of the year you had grown to fear the most  ever since childhood, and yet for once you found yourself oddly relaxed, filled to the brim with resolve instead of your usual nerves. 
Which was already an unexpected turn of events, considering you had just gotten a letter notifying you of your selection as one of the accursed Darlings of the Night. 
A gentle reminder that, if caught, your life would stop belonging to yourself for an entire dreadful year. 
Because a Yandere had their sight on you now, or so the notice had informed you in impeccable typography. Anxious fingertips memorized the slight raise of inked words, inspecting every single detail the letter carried.
You had imagined a monster ready to pounce just outside your door then, fitting enough to be the carrier of your bad news. A preternaturally grotesque being, built from all the Yandere themed horror stories you had heard throughout the years.  
And yet there you were, feeling safer in that instant than you had in years; Because this time you had a plan. He made sure to give you one you could easily follow.
Just like he later made sure to welcome you in with a kind smile and awfully persistent hospitality. 
"Would you like a cup of tea?"
You should've known better than to accept.
。。。。。
   In the present, fingers were now dipping under the elastic of your panties, ghosting across feverish skin and encouraging your whimpers to grow louder. 
"Is this what you want, then?" The man's breath tickled one of your ears, rough digits gathering your slickness with practiced ease. And he sounded genuinely concerned too, as if your discomfort was not a consequence of his own machinations. "Because I wanna ease your pain, baby. Give you what you truly need."
He barely even touched you yet you were already struggling not to crumble, the desire governing your mind mixing with the new sensations to create a new delirious kind of torment. 
Continuing to tease you, the man was relentless in his torture, barely even brushing over your neediest spots. A gentle press of his palm to stimulate you for a moment before pulling back, much to your shameful frustration; Better than nothing, but not close enough. 
In his own way, though, he was urging you to speak up. Expecting you to demand what you truly wanted. 
Yet as a retort, all you could come up with was gasping out his name, dripping from your lips like honeyed prayers as your hips fought to buck up against his hand. 
 A sound you afterward repeated a hundred times over. Chanted until its melody became engraved on your tongue and the man was finally caving in, sliding his fingers inside with a smirk. 
He had known you'd end up caving, had planned for it for months now, and yet nothing had prepared him for the actual view.
。。。。。
   Shou, actually, had been his username when you first met him. Once upon a time recited with a genuine smile and an eagerness to please, such a far cry from the anguished whines it would later lead up to.
You started frequenting the forum he inhabited a few months back. A place which happened to be a hidden corner of the internet for people who did not just stumble upon it, but actually sought it out. A part of the web where its occupants challenged societal norms and, against what society had tried to condition you all into thinking,  chose to voice their taboo Anti-Purge sentiments instead. 
Sentiments perhaps born either due to the inherent discriminatory nature of the holiday (why was it that Yanderes were accommodated for, while Darlings barely got a warning before they were made prey?), a need for contrarianism (when opposing open kidnappings, assault and other debauchery became an act of rebellion), or just a tenuous moral high ground which made it unbearable to stomach. Whatever the reason, it was your first time encountering such a density of like-minded peers.
Despite attempting to commit yourself to being a lurker, deciding to never post or reply to others, your days had still quickly become consumed by the need to read each and every topic. You were simply fascinated with this new dark corner of the web. 
That was, of course, until the aforementioned Shou became the main focus of your attention, a dash of intriguing brightness to break the monotony of your existence.
And like moths rushing to the flame, your curiosity would be your undoing.  
There was something about him that pulled you in (along with many others from the community, which tended to flock on his posts whenever he grazed the forums). His username was clearly just a nickname instead of a carefully crafted pseudonym; profile picture just an image of the back of what you all assumed to be his hair, dual-toned strands catching the light in a hypnotic way.
Truly, his disregard for anonymity within those parts was a bigger statement than you were expecting, almost as commendable as it was dumbfounding. There was the nature of his postings too, never subtle about his inclinations or ideas. 
   How to disarm and reutilize Purge Traps. 
   Most effective ways to incapacitate a violent assailant.  
   Government lies and why they matter. 
   Faking a BOPC (breach of purge code) and getting away with it.
There was little method to the madness that was his forum activity, besides the hint that he was evidently more knowledgeable about the subject than most. Plus the fact that he was proactive about his advice, actually seeking to teach others to fight back instead of just hide away and hope for the best. For another self-proclaimed Darling, Shou was ruthless with his methods —it was hard not to admire him.
And admire you did, keeping tabs of his sporadic bursts of activity and speeding to try and interact with him whenever you caught him online. You were, to voice it simply, simply star-truck by him (and perhaps becoming a bit of a fangirl). 
Because whoever Shou was, it felt like he understood you. And so, against every ounce of your common sense or natural paranoia, you had finally decided to break your golden rule and reach out for the first time since you joined the niche forum. 
And not to just leave a vague comment agreeing on public discourse, but to actually send him a private message. In your defense, how were you supposed to know the chains of events your actions would start?
   Do you actually believe what you post?, had been your lame conversation starter. 
Luckily for you, he did not leave you hanging. You made sure to send the message while he was still active, one of the few days a week you knew he devoted to his presence on the site (and wasn't it slightly creepy, how you had taken the time to learn his schedule by that point?)
   I wouldn't be here if I didn't, dry, to the point and leaving you embarrassed to have even sent the first question. 
Yet for some reason, something about Shou reverted you back into a middle school kid seeking to impress a way cooler senior. 
Perhaps it was what he symbolized (a change for the better), what he appeared to be (everything you wish you were) —whatever it was, your fingers were frantically typing a reply as soon as his appeared on your screen. 
   I just think it's amazingThe things you know
   How you share them with everyone
   The way you see through the lies
   I just think you're— , your digits hovered over the keyboard as you were about to type out the last sentence before quickly deleting it. Even in your excitement, you knew how obsessed you'd sound if you started complimenting him personally in your very first conversation. 
So instead you sent your thoughts on his posts and awaited his answer with bated breath. A few minutes ticked by this time, your anxiety making you count down the seconds in mortified silence, slowly weighted down by your doubts until your notifications for the forum were going off again with a distinct ping. 
   I've seen your replies around. I think you're great too. 
Whatever your hang ups for praising him directly had been, he clearly did not harbor any. As the prongs of nervousness alleviated their hold over your body, you struggled to see any problems with it either…this was a person you had come to idolize, and they thought you were great?
Your smile, while still anxious, was considerable while you quickly responded. 
   I'm just a n00b. Learning from the pros. 
A moment of thought, biting your bottom lip as you decided whether to add a second message or not. Fuck it, you told yourself. 
   I wasn't even supposed to be posting anything, but you made me wanna reach out. 
Was that too forward? Oh god, it was, wasn't it? You must've sounded creepy, must've sounded desperate and…
   That's cute. Did my ramblings teach you anything? 
An actual squeal left you then, sounding like it came from an altogether different person. You were an adult, with a career and responsibilities… Yet somehow, this stranger online indirectly calling you cute made you more excited than you were comfortable admitting.
   Ofc. I didn't even know what a BOPC was before. Didn't know most of the purge traps you mentioned, either. 
The spaces between replies were getting smaller, the conversation turning fluent as you both seemed to be staring straight into the screen, waiting for the other to finish typing. 
   So you really are a n00b then. 
Shit, did you fail some sort of forum etiquette by admitting that? Somehow, the need to impress Shou was more palpable than ever. 
   And you clearly know your stuff. Makes me wanna up my game. 
Be more like you, you left unsaid. 
   So am I your senpai then? 
Your fingers froze just above the keyboards, eyes scanning over Shou's last message and reverted back to staring at his profile pic for a solid minute. You would've squealed again, if you weren't so taken aback. 
   You make it sound like I am, his second message lit up your screen, coming in quickly after your rare pause in replies.
   I don't think that's bad, though. Third message from him, and you were close to fainting now. 
   Then in that case I suppose you are. You wondered whether Shou wouldn't think you were pathetic admitting that, or whether he had been honest by saying he didn't mind... 
   I've also noticed you agreeing with some of my more polarizing views. 
A welcomed change in topics. 
You thought to ask him which ones (most of his posts tended to have a polarizing effect, with people finding him either too radicalized or not radicalized enough), but before you could formulate the question you saw the twinkling circles symbolizing he was typing up another sentence.
   Do you actually believe them? And now it was his turn to spit your words back at you. 
   Well, yah. You make compelling arguments. 
   Color me impressed then, the start of his new retort left your mind spinning. Never met a n00b like you before. 
After his declaration, you found yourself writing and rewriting your answer, hesitating on your word choice, and yet pure elation coursed through your veins. 
He said he's impressed with me, your brain kept supplying on loop. You had no way of knowing just how much of a lasting impression you were leaving. 
   I don't wanna stay one tho. I'd like to jump a few levels. Improve.
Barely a moment's notice before his last message provoked a noticeable hitch in your breath. 
   I can help you with that. 
Which, as short of a reply as it was, left you giddier than would’ve been healthier to admit. 
Perhaps it could be chalked up to your work shifts growing more monotonous and tiresome, your social life becoming a faint echo of what it used to be, or just the regular wear and tear from a too-plain existence —a routine where you didn’t tend to engage with life, but just passively watched it go by.
Whatever the true reason was, that night you went to sleep with such a wide grin that the apples of your cheeks had started to hurt from the exertion, infinitely excited after getting to talk firsthand with someone you had already come to admire by that point. 
It almost made you self-conscious, knowing just how much it all meant to you, how such a small gesture on his part happened to mean the world to you. 
But there was really no reason to feel ashamed or overzealous over your own reaction. If you could’ve seen Shou, you would’ve known you weren’t the only one smiling.
。。。。。
   Almost as open of a smile as the one adorning his features right now, currently hidden from your view as his fingers set a maddening pace. Tortuously slow at first until his knuckles started brushing against your opening with each thrust. 
All you could hear now were the wet sounds of your arousal facilitating his movements, motions whose only purpose seemed to be to drive you more rambling and disoriented by the second. 
"Is this what you want? What you need, perhaps?" His usually calm voice was uncharacteristically affected as he gasped against your ear, the torture he was making you endure clearly getting to him as well. 
You were much too preoccupied with the waves of pleasure and warmth overflowing your body to give a proper response, but your lack of one did not deter him. 
If anything, your needy gasps and whines were the only encouragement he required. 
"Don't worry, Y/N. I'll take care of you, make you feel good."
By that point, the hand that had been petting your hair had found its way to your sopping heat too, calloused pads circling around your pearl while the man continued feeding you his eager promises. 
"I get you, baby. Just like you get me." So close, your entire body taut and ready to snap. "And you want me to take care of you too, right?"
You weren't conscious enough to understand the implications, your impaired judgment prohibiting you from reading further into the meaning of his words. He sounded so encouraging, so deceivingly tender despite stuffing you full of his fingers as you squirmed on his lap. 
All you could do was nod furiously.
And later on, when your senses sadly returned, dedicated yourself to lamenting over which of your actions brought you down this unfortunate path. 
。。。。。
    Perhaps, your consciousness supplied, it had been the fact that you opened up so readily. That you had dared to share with a supposed new friend, things that should’ve better stayed hidden in the first place.   
But goddamn it, you felt downright honored that he even considered you worthy enough to entertain in the first place. From the very first second, Shouto already had the upper hand. 
During the first few conversations, the topics you two discussed were all closely related to the purge and your mutual hang ups with it. Concise and carefully typed out messages were exchanged, discussing opinions you had never expected anyone to be interested in hearing—not from you, at least. 
But then, as the weeks slowly progressed, the subjects of conversation began shifting to both of your lives, to your occupations, hobbies, and, directly against the forum's policy for privacy, the people you two were outside the confines of your online corner. 
Even without actually exchanging any real data or supplying him with your name or age, you found yourself starting to open up more and more with each day.
You told him about your grueling office job, the friends you hadn’t seen or texted in weeks, and the reality of an apartment which more closely resembled a containment cell than a home…
Revelations that you had kept hidden for so long, which now came pouring out without regard for how mortified they made you feel. You were conscious of the limits blurring between you two the further you kept going, of how you were telling him things best left unsaid, cramped and buried in a hard to reach place. 
And yet, for some obscure reason, everything Shou represented made it impossible for you to resist the temptation to speak up, to demand to be heard for the first time in an eternity of quietness. 
You’re pathetic, is what you expected him to say in return. Pathetic, weak, meager, and worthless. Anticipating him, somehow, to echo all the doubts and deeply held fears you carried inside. 
   Most of my friends don’t understand either, was instead the response you  received. But most people don’t see what's wrong, what needs to be changed. You feel lonely because you do.
It wasn’t clear what you would’ve wanted to hear beforehand, the things you had fantasized someone would reply if you ever gathered the courage to share your anxieties. Whatever those expectations had been an eternity ago, they now vastly paled when compared to what your new friend was dangling in front of you. 
It felt like he was giving an excuse for things you had always perceived as personal failings. If what he said was true, it would mean it wasn’t your social ineptitude that kept people away, your uselessness, or uninteresting personality.
It would mean the shadows around you could still be dispelled somehow, exorcising the silhouettes of a suffering that had become a regular companion in your day to day life.
Brandishing a courage that only anonymity could give you, your fingers were a blur on your keyboard as you tried to ignore the rapid heartbeat in your chest, the fear, and exhilaration from opening up for the first time in forever. 
Something you would later regret a thousand times over.
   And you do too, and it wasn’t a question, a nervous comment or a stuttered retort. With the aid of the text format, you could look as confident as you knew you weren’t. You understand as well. 
You understand me, was the tacit meaning behind it. The prickling of unshed tears made it so you were furiously blinking, fighting against the downpour despite your eyes refusing to leave the screen for longer than an instant. 
   I do. More than you realize.
For all intents and purposes, your first mistake was indeed opening up. 
And your second one was being naive enough to let him in. Seriously, why hadn’t you heeded your parent’s advice about stranger danger?
。。。。。
   ...If they could only see you now, coming apart at the seams and with the name of your tormentor being the only word you were able to string together. 
"Such a beauty, and all for me," his praises accompanied you through the rough orgasm ripping through your body, lips kissing your forehead in stark contrast to the digits still pumping inside your heat. "Let me hear your voice, baby. Let me hear how beautiful my name sounds on your lips."
And you obeyed, because what other choice did you have. Mindless, broken, and oh, so needy. 
You continued to audibly moan as your climax unwound, crying out his name in absolute reverence while Shouto's smile deepened against your skin. The chill of his touch was still as soothing as ever, calming down the embers of a lust that refused to completely die down.
When he finally pulled his hands from your core, you felt excruciatingly empty. But you were not given enough time to wallow in your despair, because who you once considered your friend was then grasping your face gently between his hands, leading your gaze to meet his—forcing you to witness the intensity and adoration present there. 
"My Y/N."
Even in your deeply intoxicated state, the last few dredges of your senses supplied just how utterly abhorrent the situation was. 
The sirens signaling the start of the Purge had died down a while ago, drowned out by your own cries of pleasure, but you could still see the remnants of the government logo still plastered all over the TV, its bright glow bathing you both in an eerily scarlet ambiance. 
From the same weak place of coherence, a shiver of fear managed to break through your stupor. 
"You're going to continue to be a good girl for me, aren't you?" 
When he kissed you then, slow and almost ironically hesitant despite what had just transpired moments before, you couldn't begin to tell your body to refuse. Much to your own horror, you were soon eagerly kissing your tormentor back. 
。。。。。                                                      
   The second mistake leading up to your downfall, on the other hand, took a little longer to occur. It was after a few more weeks of conversation. You vented and talked way too much, while Shou listened intently and even rewarded you with a few crumbs of advice of his own.  
So wrapped up in your new seemingly innocuous friendship you were in, you failed to recognize the magnitude of an event that should've sent you scrambling to shut off your monitor. A warning so loud it would've put the Purge sirens themselves to shame. 
You see, with Shou's help, you were slowly becoming more of an active user around those parts. You didn't just stick to replying to his posts or lurking until he shot you a private message anymore; no, you were now officially a contributor, deciding to step out of your anonymity to share what you thought was a fairly interesting article. It was a rather long-winded thinkpiece on the morality of Darlings’ treatment after the Purge had ended—the reality of that year spent in captivity that most people tended to just brush under the carpet, all in the name of making the entire ordeal more palatable to digest. 
In all your eagerness, however, you had failed to realize a very crucial detail, which was that the article was a whole two days old. Already an ancient text by forum's standards, apparently. 
So with that in mind, of course you should've expected the hate, an outpouring of bitterness fit for a community of loners and acidic underdogs. You were on an anonymous forum on one of the darkest parts of the internet, somewhere most sane people actively stayed away from—Clearly, a rookie unwittingly reposting something was the perfect target for a lot of your bitter comrades. An excuse to finally take out all of their pent up frustration.  
   Fuck1ng pleb, thanks for copy-pasting the same post for the 55th time. 
   This is why we shouldn't let newbies post. Look at this mess @mods.
   Time to hang it up, n00b. And by “it”, I mean your f****** neck.  
   i bet ur a girl, [Username]. u type like a b1tch. 
And the icing on the cake for internet interactions, a myriad of wall spamming "KYS" being plastered all across the comment section, bold and daunting as they filled your notification box with the repetitions of hate. If you weren't so sure of your safety behind your screen, perhaps you would've felt intimidated. 
As it stood, you were just embarrassed, mortified at the fact that you had seemingly botched your only attempt at leaving a positive first impression. If anything, it only seemed you had given everyone a common enemy to pick on for once...
Or that was, at least, until Shou happened to log in at exactly that precise moment. You knew he was usually busy around that day and time (he never actually told you whether he had a job, but you had surmised as much from your past chats), so his instantly recognizable profile picture and username popping up had you genuinely gasping at first. It was one hell of a coincidence, but you couldn’t help but feel a sense of relief at what looked to be your savior.
   Everyone, stop getting your panties in a twist. This is why no new users end up staying, the environment is abhorrent. 
It was vague enough not to betray the fact that you two weren’t just strangers anymore, as well as keeping Shou’s reputation as a lone wolf from completely shattering.
And a comment which, surprisingly, instantly dulled most of the incoming messages your post was being flooded with. 
People respected him there, his status as a renowned user giving him a genuine sort of power and hold over the rest of the community. One of the first things you had recognized on the forums was the distinct hierarchical structures amongst its users, and there Shou might’ve as well be granted the title of mayor for all the weight his every sentence carried.
Or at least they did with the majority of the community. As in every place where large numbers of people gathered, there were always a few rotten apples just begging to be tossed. 
   and ofc ur whiteknighting for her, Shou The Great. shes sucking ur dick under evry single post u make
You cringed, studying the bitter user that had decided to be a contrarian and easily recognizing him from unsavory past encounters you witnessed. Although, if you were completely honest, this time you couldn't exactly say his words didn't carry a certain degree of validity.
Shou had told you he was glad that was the case with you, that his post resonating with anyone was one of the main reasons why he hadn't just disappeared from the site completely. But in reality, saying you weren't subtle about your agreement with his ideas would be an understatement. 
You were like a puppy skipping behind him, trailing his interactions and always ready to write an eager comment backing him up. Yet you had never thought others actually paid attention to your mostly one-sided interactions, the occasional meager downvote or emote being the only thing that made you aware your comments weren’t just lost in the sea of spam Shou’s posts were usually showered in. 
For the longest time, your support had just felt like leaving letters for the man to find. Letters you hadn’t even been sure had reached their target until a few weeks back...
Suddenly, the sharp sound of Shou's incoming reply drove you from your tribulations.  
   Well, maybe if you weren't such a crude man you wouldn't be permabanned from starting topics yourself. Although I doubt anyone would be sucking your dick either way, shitty ideology considered. [Image attached]
A grimace was quick to grow on your face as you aptly studied the picture Shou decided to close his reply with.
It was a screenshot of what looked to be someone's post history, a rather extensive list with alarmingly offensive titles such as "Why male darlings should be spared", "The purge is a form of cuckoldry" and “Feminist agenda: female yanderes and their biological advantage [Repost]". Almost all of them exhibited a tragic downvote ratio right as well, besides the red symbol signaling the posts had been archived by senior users or mods.
For someone who also loathed the terrible holiday, it was almost admirable how the man managed to be almost as detestable as the criminals you all rallied against. 
But even so, what disturbed you the most wasn't the clear bigotry of the user, but the fact that that screenshot couldn't have been taken from public records. A user's post history was hidden, just another measure on the site’s part to keep people from recognizing too many details about each other and possibly endangering themselves. 
No, it could only have been taken from inside the account. And judging from the other guy's quick reaction, you weren't the only one who came to that realization.
   how the fck did u get that
   I knew u were friends with the mods. fcking rats 
By that point, everyone else had stopped clogging the comments and, you assumed, instead opted to settle down and attentively observe the events transpiring. Apart from the emote reactions and the rapidly rising number of upvotes on Shou’s comments, you had all become a passive audience to the public ridicule.
Although you couldn’t help feeling slightly disjointed by Shou’s behavior. Below your wicked sense of pride at having him defend you, there was still the whispers of your gut telling you the man was going a little too far, his actions spelling a more sinister meaning than just “having a friend’s back”.
   You've been here for years, Minoru. Surprised you haven't yet noticed how much of a pest everyone sees you as. 
Minoru? You did a double-take, going back to read the username of the guy Shou was arguing with. But he just had a randomly generated number as a pseudonym, same as you and most others, and with just a picture of some anime sneezing girl to distinguish his profile from the rest. No trails or signs of what could Shouto be referencing to.
Nothing but an option you preferred not to consider. But it couldn't be, could it? your friend wouldn’t...
   fucking delete that right now, man.
   this isn't a joke, DELETE THAT. 
Only that the abrasive and desperate reaction told you everything you needed to know. Your heart was beating rapidly in your chest, shock mixing with equal parts horror and amazement you couldn’t even begin to try and disentangle. Because right that second, you were witnessing your friend breaking the forum’s number one rule with a front-row seat to the spectacle. 
And he was doing it all in your name.
   Then maybe think twice before you go out of your way to harass newbies. Or have you had too much time on your hands after being fired, is that it?
It was vague enough not to represent any kind of threat... if not for the context of the site. And yet you all knew the hidden message behind it, the warning for whoever Minoru was to understand Shou knew much more than what he was letting on. That he could expose much more than he was currently alluding to. 
   y are u even doing this, shou? y do u care wtf happens to this noobslut anyways?
Shou's reply took barely a moment to appear, lighting up your screen and, despite the slightly morbid nature of his protection, coaxing out a smile to adorn your lips. It was like a balm being applied to your worries, quieting down most of your incipient concerns in favor of rejoicing. 
   They're a friend. 
For fuck’s sake, you even screenshotted that for posterity. Somehow, him acknowledging the new bond you two had openly felt like a milestone. 
When a mod came in to archive the post and give everyone involved a stern warning later on, you were already way past your previous doubtful sentiments. 
Instead, the last thing you did before going to sleep that day was to open up your private conversation with Shou and send a quick yet heartfelt message of gratitude his way. 
Months prior, you wouldn’t have ever thought you’d be thanking anyone for semi doxxing another human being. How rapidly things were changing, though, and all while you got lost in the thrill of mattering.
   Thanks for sticking up for me. It meant a lot, you typed feeling slightly lightheaded, drunk on the idea that anyone would think you worthy of having your back.
You thought Shou went offline after dishing out his not so thinly veiled threats, but somehow he was back again in an instant, the sound of notifications going off shaking any remnants of your exhaustion.  
   Anything for you, [Y/N]. 
You were so tired, it didn't occur to you that you hadn't yet shared your real name with your friend either.
That night, for once, you fell asleep with a twinkle in your eye and the image of Shou's multicolored locks dancing against your eyelids. Imagining, ever so briefly, your fingers trailing down the back of a neck you now had memorized from analyzing his profile picture. 
And, while you slept with your phone clutched to your side, you also failed to notice the peculiar sound of your own camera going off, the soft glow from the red light beside your lense bathing your features in its subtle illumination, flickering against your eyelashes and the lingering grin on your curved lips. 
You truly looked angelic like that. 
Suffice it to say, Minoru never bothered you again after that day. In fact, his name disappeared from the site not too soon after. 
。。。。。                                                   
    But now, to continue the grueling task of giving a context for your inevitable end, it is necessary to jump a month further into the future, barely a week from the excruciating present. 
Because it was then that the last strike finished nailing the coffin of your proverbial undoing, burying you under the weight of your own ignorance.
You got your notice in the mail on the Day of Announcements, an inconspicuous letter lacking any further distinction beyond a scarlet government seal emblazoned across its front. But even before you opened and read the message, you already knew of its contents—easily recognizing the image before you from several of the varied posts you had seen floating around on the forums lately.
   Purge Notice!!! Help needed Urgently. 
   Just got my letter. Do I stay hidden or fight back? [Open poll]
   Third time getting mine. AMA about my methods. 
The range of how you had seen other users reacting to their own selections was diverse, with some of them being more experienced while others, such as you, had just gotten their first letter ever. If things played out differently for you, then you were sure you would've been another one of the numerous panicked voices, awkwardly trying to maneuver their way out of their new situation.
And maybe, then, your odds wouldn't have been so completely fucked from the start. 
As it stood, as soon as you laid eyes on the notice, the first thing you thought of was how quickly you could boot up your computer and open the forum’s private messages. Because, for the first time in forever, you were overwhelmed by the feeling of someone else being there for you. 
Shou was your friend, had earned that spot fair and square after months of listening to you venting and sharing deep discussions; faster than you could even realize it, and so it was only natural for you to seek his help once the news of your selection for the new yearly Purge reached you. 
He had even threatened another user for your sake, for fuck’s sake. So, really, what harm could come out of relying on someone you were sure was trustworthy?
Maybe it was too late by that point for you to snap out of it, but it was almost amusing seeing you being so easily deceived. 
Just another reason why you needed him, certainly.
 。。。。。
    Already told you I'd have your back, had been his immediate reply barely an instant after you attached a candid photo of your hand holding up the envelope. Whatever you need, I’m here.
His lack of hesitation was palpable through your screen, heart hammering in your chest as you were faced with a kindness you had thought yourself undeserving of not long ago. 
As soon as you closed your mailbox, you had immediately raced to send him the message, completely foregoing telling any of your other friends or family members when you doubted they would even understand you in the first place. Shou had been right when he told you people just didn’t want to see the truth, even if it slapped them right in the face, leaving dark imprints in the shape of their narrow mindedness.
But he was there, he was letting you know as much, in his own words. And for what felt like the hundredth time in the past few months, you felt incredibly lucky to have stumbled upon the Forums in the first place, to have traced whatever fortunate path had led you to find him—the one person able to distinguish you in a world you always thought you blended straight into. 
   Thank you, Shou, for everything. And at that moment, you really had been truthful, so much so that there were tears prickling at your eyes, an overwhelming feeling of gratitude drowning you with its intensity.
Indeed, your final mistake had been your desperate need for acceptance. A need that had, in the end, cost you everything.
   You can call me Shouto now. No use for nicknames anymore.
Amidst the chaos of your life possibly crashing down all around you, somehow his revelation put a trembling smile back in your face. 
   Then allow me to repeat: thank you, Shouto. 
   Np, Newbie. Told you I'd help you level up, didn't I? 
His teasing managed to garner a small stuttering laugh out of you despite the dreadfulness of your situation. 
But you couldn’t help it. Somehow, every reply Shouto sent you only served to wrap the illusion of safety tighter around you. So tight in fact, that you should’ve started worrying about suffocating. 
。。。。。
   On the other side of the screen, the man with the multicolored hair couldn’t help but keep staring at the picture you had sent him earlier. 
He was transfixed, eyes almost unblinking as they refused to separate from the image. The way your fingers tentatively held the letter up for the picture was simply adorable to him. Beautifully naive. 
It wasn't like he hadn't seen your face before, like he hadn't already memorized the texture of your skin and the everlasting trace of a frown always threatening to dampen your mood. He read your expressions like poetry, every mole and scar furthering the securing of his interest. 
But this was the first picture you had actually chosen to send him out of your own volition, the final symbol of a trust he had worked so tirelessly to earn. Used to catching prey as he was, the man wasn’t entirely sure when you had turned from a game into a priority, from a priority into the only thing he could even make himself care for.
And it didn’t help that it was his letter you were holding, too. His formal declaration of pursuit. 
With time, Shouto was sure you would find it in yourself to appreciate the beauty of such irony. 
But, for now, what he really needed to do was buy some tea. Couldn’t have your own stubbornness ruining your first encounter, could he?
。。。。。
   In the coming weeks, your friend aided you and even coached you as you jointly planned for the horrific holiday, not only suggesting ideas but tracing the safety measures needed for them to succeed. You really had no reason to doubt him by that point.
That evening, after you finished letting Shouto know you were back from work, you made sure to pack all of your supplies into an inconspicuous bag you had acquired for the occasion. Whoever your Yandere was, it was best to not give any hints of your new acquisitions, just in case they were already stalking your movements. 
Shouto had helped you devise the list, mentoring you in your selection of weapons as well as self-defense arsenal—what brands of pepper spray to get, which ammunitions were most efficient and reliable, even what kind of clothing was the least troublesome if the need to escape ever arose. If you had been sure he knew his craft before, now you were surprised at just how vast his wisdom genuinely was. 
After the last few finishing touches of preparations, you were already on your way to the direction you had both agreed on (supplied by him, approved by you). There were several hours until the start of the Purge still, but the adrenaline swimming through your bloodstream was already considerable. 
Shouto had suggested you visited him for the Holiday, quoting how the measures in place for his home made it nothing short of a fortified vault, impossible for any outsiders to break into (and for anyone to break out of, but let's not get ahead of ourselves). 
With that in mind, how could you have refused his offer? Your place was barely an excuse for an apartment, windows that didn't entirely close, and feeble doors that could be easily broken into. Even if you weren't partly driven by the curiosity of meeting your new internet idol turned friend, it would've been foolish to decline. 
So in a few hours, you were sporting a nervous smile on your face as you parked your car in front of the largest apartment complex you had ever encountered. It was luxurious in a way you had only seen staring back at you from a television screen, marble, and gold accents giving you the impression you were about to step into a drama set instead of visiting an online friend. 
Before the surrealism of the entire situation could begin to set in, however, you noticed the young man sitting on the ample stairs of the building. He had an air of effortless elegance, tall and lithe, yet sporting a black turtleneck which hugged his frame and made it clear just how much sheer strength hid behind his movements. 
And he also sported the same peculiarly colored locks you had already memorized from the last few months, the light softly reflecting on them proving to be an even more impressive show when admired live. 
You were dazzled for an instant, wondering if, somehow, this entire thing was a prank and the Shou from the forums had just schemed his way into making a fool out of you in front of a handsome stranger. Way too convoluted, yet entirely too plausible to your bewildered self. 
Until the man lifted his eyes—as beautifully dual-toned as his hair, and catching sight of you standing just beside your recently parked vehicle. 
"Y/N," he was sharply climbing to his feet as he called out your name, the shy hint of a smile in his lip contradicting the monotone cadence of his tone. "Good to finally meet you."
You had first been under the impression that the Shou you knew was cold, the way he interacted with others on the site reminding you of an emotionless robot at times, but the man addressing you seemed like he was ripped straight out of a stereotypical rom-com. 
Maybe he'd be the aloof, tormented heir? Which, in your fantasy drama land, would make you the nearly illiterate and poor love interest. Your feelings of inadequacy only grew at the comparison.
Almost cute, how that had been one of your greatest worries once upon a time. How foolishly eager you were to be liked back then.
"Shouto." The name still felt somewhat strange on your lips, even after he had insisted you started calling him that. "It's good to meet you, too."
He was by your side in an instant, taking your bags from you swiftly and shutting the door to your ride. From this up close, it became considerably harder to disguise your staring. 
Even the scar which covered his left eye, a splash of reddish textured skin, somehow came across like yet another enhancer of his appeal. An underlying harshness which you couldn't help but be intrigued by. 
"Your hair looks even better in person."
And leave it to you to once again find a way to screw first impressions. You were chastising yourself a mere second after the words left your mouth. 
But Shouto only sent you that same hint of a smirk your way, his eyes appearing genuinely pleased at your praise. If he thought you were a weirdo and was regretting ever inviting you to his house, then he was a good enough actor for you to be fooled.
And fooled you he did, but with completely different intentions. 
"You look just like in your pictures," came his serene retort not long after.
Which you assumed was a joke, keeping in mind that the only photo you had ever sent his way had been of the Purge letter you received a few days ago.
Laughing lightly, you tried to ignore the nerves tugging at your chest before catching up with him on the steps of the building. 
As you giddily barged straight into the open jaws of the beast, it once again struck Shouto how utterly unsuspecting you were. How you trusted him so wholeheartedly.
He couldn't wait to see it all come crashing down.
。。。。。
   Inside his honest to god penthouse, your previous feeling of insufficiency only became more severe. 
The interiors were decorated sparingly, albeit fashionably. Filled with different muted shades and being unexpectedly traditional in the way they were designed. It was a stunning abode, even if you couldn't help but mentally point out how utterly unlived in it appeared.
There was not a single cup, shoe, or book out of place, everything perfectly polished and organized to the point that you felt hesitance as your sock-covered feet continued making their way through the place.
"Make yourself at home," Shouto told you most matter-of-factly. If you weren't so sure of his intentions by now, perhaps you would've thought he was being sarcastic. 
Without any of your belongings to distract yourself with, you instead gravitated towards what you could see of the kitchen through one of the sliding doors. 
It was very modern despite the rest of the aesthetic the penthouse sported, shiny stainless steel and spotless dark countertops. It should've looked out of place when paired with the carpeted floors, wooden furniture, and sparse pieces of classical Japanese art…
Yet somehow, it strangely fits. Just like his owner, you supposed, thinking back to the oddities that amounted to his unique brand of appeal.
And you really needed to stop thinking of your friend like that. 
When you heard the door to the apartment being audibly locked with a resounding click, you instantly stopped your fingers grazing the smooth countertops. Your instincts flared up with worry for a moment, right before you forcefully willed yourself to calm down.  
After reminding yourself of the true reason why you were there, the exhale you released next was one of clear relief. 
"Want something to drink?" Shouto appeared in your line of sight again, hands buried in the pockets of his pants and looking like the picture of composure. 
You felt embarrassed once again, knowing he had given you a free pass to roam but still somewhat self-conscious about intruding on his space. 
"You don't need to make me anything. I'm fine." Your timbre was apologetic, not used to slipping into the role of a guest just yet. 
He seemed strangely dissatisfied with your answer, closing some of the distance between you with a presence that had you almost flinching back for a second. 
There was an intensity in his gaze, something which you could not quite yet place. 
"But I want to be a good host. So let me." He appeared very serious about it, too, with his face growing stern as his peculiar eyes bore into yours. 
Not wanting to cause further distress, you imagined relenting would be the best course of action. 
It was like you were molded to be the perfect Darling, so wonderfully meek and gullible.
"Okay then. Water is fine."
Yet Shouto shook his head, still somewhat dissatisfied with your answer. 
"Tea it is." His phrasing allowed little space for argument. "I know you mentioned liking a few brands before, so I took the liberty of stocking up on them."
A surprising burst of laughter broke through your anxious feelings then, drawing Shouto's eyes again from the particular cabinet they had drifted to as he mentioned the beverages. 
He looked at you puzzled, an unasked question written all over his otherwise blank expression, and so you decided to reply from the surge of unexpected amusement you were experiencing. 
"It's only a night, Shou," you didn't even realize you had slipped back into his nickname, too entertained by how much he had apparently overdone his hospitality. "There really wasn't any need for you to go buy my favorite teas."
His eyes blinked quite slowly your way, his expression back to his vacant mask before a smile reappeared.
"I wanted you to feel welcomed," he supplied as he approached the cabinet he was eyeing before, dedicating himself to searching for whatever kind of flavor of tea he had in mind. 
In response, you just shrugged your shoulders with another chuckle. 
"And I didn't get you anything. You're making me feel even more out of place."
"Nonsense," he cut you off in that deadpan way of his, hands rummaging through the most ridiculously vast tea collection you had ever seen. And then he added, decidedly quieter, "today is supposed to be about you, after all."
Too bad you didn't pick up on it. 
When he ushered you back to the salon with barely a wave next, pointing at one of the cushions arranged around the short-legged table, you decided to follow his suggestion and wait there while he finished brewing the drinks. By now, you understood the futility of offering any kind of help when he was still so intent on properly welcoming you. 
So, curious as you were, your eyes continued to inspect each and every inch of the apartment, drinking up all the pieces of info you could observe, that you didn't even think of the potential dangers of letting a stranger fix you a cup while you weren't looking.
Unbeknownst to the other, you were both actively counting down the seconds until the Purge started, minds lost to your own inner turmoils from opposite sides of the suite. 
And for entirely different reasons, you were both filled with anticipation.    
。。。。。
   Meanwhile, finally back in the present after retracing the steps that guided you there, it was becoming increasingly hard to compartmentalize the chaos brewing inside you.
Shouto’s lips were the personification of hunger against yours, an inescapable gluttony to mark and consume every single inch of you he could encompass. 
After a hint of understanding returned to your body post-orgasm, your vision and the sensations you endured were becoming disturbingly vivid. It was impossible to conceive anything beyond his hands ridding you of your flimsy camisole, palms cold in comparison to the heat you felt, splaying against your sides and slowly making their way up the sensitive mounds of your chest.
“All mine, baby.” You barely registered his teeth nipping at your bottom lip until a shock of pain snapped you out of your trance.
He bit you, and quite harshly too, but when you tried to instinctually pull back his response was to hold you even tighter. Before you could attempt to voice your complaints, his tongue was darting out to clean up the droplets of blood he spilled. 
“Out of all the Darlings I’ve played with, you’re the only one I’ve ever even considered keeping, you know?”
And now that had you freezing, even amidst the cloud of desire still muddling your cognizance. His arms pressed you closer still, forcing you to bury your face against his chest, completely unphased by the bloody mess your mouth had morphed into.  
Had he tricked others before then? Was that the reason why he was even on the Forums in the first place? 
You wanted to ask him what he meant, wanted to demand explanations for a phrase that had dread closing around your neck like a noose. But whatever he slipped into your drink to keep you so awfully responsive and pliable, also appeared to make forming any complex sentences incredibly hard…
Shou, ever the receptive one, caught onto your change in demeanor rather aptly. His face nuzzled your hair softly, humming a calming melody as if you were a scared child who could be so easily reassured. Meanwhile, his hands hadn’t abandoned your breasts, still tenderly kneading them with a touch bordering on worship.
“But I’m glad you weren’t my first, baby. Means I could be all ready for when we met.” He rocked you both as he rested his back further on the sofa, opening his legs wider below you and forcing you to settle closer to his clothed groin with a whimper. 
Your arms reached out to grasp his shoulders while you tried to stabilize yourself, the strain of his erection resting snuggly against your still sensitive slit. 
"Helped me to know when to pull back," he kept confessing, purposefully thrusting into you while he kept lovingly massaging your chest, fingers twisting your hardened peaks to coax a new kind of mewl to be uttered against his skin. "Wouldn't want you to break now that I've finally found you."
The fact that your bodies seemed to fit so perfectly, even in your impaired state, was not an irony lost on you. 
Abruptly, Shouto stopped fondling your breasts in order to maneuver your face again, both of your stares meeting in a vehement standoff before he continued. 
“I’ll make this as close to perfection as I can, I promise you.” And you got a direct view of the vulnerability in his uniquely colored eyes, the nature of his words clearly heartfelt despite the atrocities they alluded to. 
As you heard him drag his zipper down, the hand clutching your jaw trembling in anticipation, you couldn’t help the new wave of warmth spreading through your body, negating all the fear and anxiousness warring inside you in order to shamefully expose your baser desires.
Now that whatever had been clouding your  judgment was pulling back slightly, your thought process had begun to snap back into place, overflowing you with a terrible sense of shame at your own reactions.
He gave you something earlier with your drink, you were sure of it, and yet you couldn’t help but still be horrified at just how much you were enjoying it. Once you felt the flushed head of his cock placidly rubbing against your thigh, the sounds leaving your mouth weren’t ones of complaint, peril or dissent.
Quite the contrary, actually, and it only made Shouto grow bolder.
As the hand clutching your face grew tenser, gripping you with force before tugging harshly, you got the hint. Now painfully following his lead, it wasn't long before the previous pressure against your legs was now resting directly against your cunt. 
The pre-cum already gathered on him mixed in with your still oozing arousal, smearing the span of your outer lips as he lightly teased you one last time. 
You were so mortified by that point, that if he had offered to end your embarrassment right then and there with one of the several weapons you knew he kept, you would’ve been very inclined to accept. 
“... I didn’t even think there was such a thing as 'The One' before, actually.” You hadn’t even realized the man was still talking, ardent whispers getting lost on the intensity of the situation. 
His eyes were searching your face, a satisfied twinkle lighting them up as soon as you returned his stare of your very own volition. Perturbed, you wondered if his delusion made him see anything beyond a twisted mix of lust and fear reflected back at him. 
“But I now know just how wrong I was, Y/N.” So sure of himself, tone back to the stern cadence you previously associated with him for a moment, gripped by a gravity befitting of his obsession. “Indeed, I think you were always meant to be my darling… don't you agree?”
To your credit, you did struggle to speak up, to gain back the control over a body which had stopped listening long ago. Too bad you only managed a single pitiful word out.
“Shouto…”
But before you could even fathom attempting a better response, he was breaching into you, sheathing himself with an ease you wished you could overlook, turning your voice from an anguished plea into outrageously labored moans. 
You had once thought Shou had been interested in you because he somehow perceived you as anything but pathetic, but you were beginning to think it had been your weakness which drew him in all along. 
So deliciously frail, that even a predator like him had been driven with an urgent need to protect you. To break you down, just so he could be the one to build you back together.
As he started fucking you with shallow thrusts, hips bucking up from the sofa while he tenderly guided you until your body was mimicked his motion on its own, you couldn’t help but be the most disturbed at his oddly affectionate ways. 
As awful as it sounded, now that your mind had awakened from its stupor all you wanted was for him to bend you over and abuse you, manhandle you and mistreat you in a way which unequivocally screamed assault. You wanted bruises painting your skin, proof that you hadn’t just willingly given up and facilitated your own ruin. 
He was humiliating you despite the pretty words he decided to disguise it as—showing you how easily he could own you and even make you enjoy it, drug-addled drink or not. 
But as his mouth latched around one of your hardened nipples, sucking generously until his name was once again fast on your tongue, you also couldn’t deny the crystal clear responses you were giving.
You could attempt to lie to yourself later, could swear it was all a delusion born out of the deranged man's mind, but the particular brand of your screams was unmistakable.
When your own hand reached down to facilitate your release, you knew you were already acting beyond what you could've previously attributed to the drugs. Toying with your bundle of nerves, you rested your forehead against Shouto's shoulders, tears from the pleasure mixing in with the subjacent agony of your guilt. 
Why did it have to feel so good? And how far did the drugs truly affect you? Or had they just peeled back your inhibitions perhaps, baring you until all you had were dark desires and no self-control to contain them. 
You still tasted blood inside your mouth when your walls started clenching around his cock, the coppery flavor entirely too vivid on your tongue. Hearing his own choked groans gasping against your chest, you felt his mouth abandoning your bud with a pop before his kisses were trailing a path back up—eager in their search of your face, your lips. 
You were still cumming by the time a lascivious kiss connected you two again, unwinding in his grasp until his hands were the only thing keeping you whole. 
“Even if I wasn't taught how,” he began promising while his rhythm grew frantic, barely resisting the allure of your core fluttering around him. “I promise I’ll love you, Y/N. Love you so good, you won’t ever want to leave when the next Purge comes.” He was getting increasingly excited by his own words, imagining a future where you did not need the aid of a little cup of tea to eagerly kiss back. “I’ll fuck you every day, fill you up and show you just how much I care. How much you matter.”
Faced with his degenerate promises, all you could do was gasp out his name one last time, perhaps seeking to express your reticence, perhaps oddly excited by the image he was painting. 
You indulged him in the pitiful sound of your whimpers molding around its syllables, and it wasn’t long before you were coaxing him to join you with an orgasm of his own.
He actually came inside, you recognized inwardly after the aftershocks of enjoyment now quieted down to a lull, a new type of dread quickly following the realization. His cum was still shooting in hot ropes, stuffing you to the brim with the intent and purpose of a man bent on marking you, owning you.
But Shouto was so loving as he kissed you time and time again, painfully reminding you of just how nice he could be for you, how gentle and attentive. It made the lines between your tormentor and a traditional lover blur even further, the confusion clouding your sense not merely born out of narcotics any longer. 
You had been so preoccupied with a monster outside your house once. A creature ripped from the kind of movies that were ripe with cheap scares and considerably cheaper thrills. 
But monsters never were like that in real life, were they? As the man continued to cradle you in his arms like the most vulnerable of creatures, you were suddenly struck by how glaringly obvious things should’ve been from the beginning. 
Because your Yandere’s obsession had not come with claws and a row of sharp teeth. No, it came instead with a suit of deception to hug its frame, the bait of acceptance, and the promise of a reliable ear to comfortably listen. It arrived with whispers that assured you that you were not alone, that it was not you who was flawed, but the world for not welcoming you. 
It dangled everything your little heart desired, so by the time you were reaching out, you were simply too distracted to notice the dangers of the abyss you were throwing yourself at.
Luckily for you, Shouto had made such a void his home. And for however long it took you to consider the darkness as your own, his was a kind of hospitality that no amount of your struggles could ever hope to wear down. 
And if the worst came to pass, if you kept stubbornly refusing and fighting despite your odds? Well…
   He could always brew you another cup of tea.
-------
Well, I can finally rest now 💀
This monster of a one-shot took me a lot longer than expected, so I ended up being a lil later to the collab that I would’ve liked. Either way, I’d really appreciate hearing any feedback or opinions on either the fic or art (or both?)... I swear that’s what keeps me motivated ;___; 
So fr, thanks to everyone who takes the time to let me know your takes! y’all are the bests of the best 🖤 And speaking of bests of best, special thanks and gratitude to the actual angels who helped and gave me feedback for both the art and/or fic @reinawritesbnha , @drxwsyni​, @wootato, @snappysnapo and @coyambition. Don’t catch me seeing y’all drop your crowns bc it’s on sight  😠 👑
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onmyyan · 3 years
Note
Hi its me again. I love your writing and the fact that there isn't as much abuse like there is in others. It reminds me of old yandere stories were it was genuine lovesickness. Anyway, how do you think jjba yanderes would react to a darling that is taller and more muscular than them by quite a bit. You can do whoever you like I don't mind.
A/N: Omg ily🥺 it means a lot you said all that because I really love this genre it’s my comfort trope anyway thank you for the request n I hope ya like it!! Kira should be a trigger warning in an of itself but dw he’s just weird, not mean. Mentions of his past ‘girlfriends’, a curse word or two, lil suggestive in someplace’s Mista murks a few people, tw//gun violence
Characters: Pt2 Joseph, Josuke, Kira, Mista
Joseph was used to looking down on people, standing at a proud 6’5” he was literally and figuratively knocked on his ass when he’d first laid eyes on you, his immediate thought was you were a forgotten pillarman coming from nowhere to get revenge for your masters only to quickly realize you were just a stallion. You were strong enough to put him on his back after one too many cheeky comments. Unafraid to speak your mind and keep him in check, You would stare down at him with that mind melting smirk, all too aware of his frustrations, you assumed he was just being a man, ashamed to be outclassed by someone other than himself, oh honey how wrong you were. You enjoyed teasing the behemoth of a man as no one else really could, at least not as well as you did, throughout your little jabs and snark he always had a retort, a response on the tip of his tongue, eager to do this dance of yours until one of you broke, to you he was a way too cocky dangerously self assured pretty boy who was entertainingly easy to rile up, but to Joseph, you were his everything. Someone he could proudly take home to Granny Erina once he’d finally tamed you. He had a plan, a three step plan to steal your heart just as you’d done his, and this little game of who could annoy the other the most was just step 1. “It’s been fun JoJo but you’re gonna have to find someone else to bother.” You’d jokingly said one day out of the blue, an odd friendship had formed through the month you’d been in town and it felt wrong to leave without notice, an act of kindness you’d learn to regret. “Is this one of your famous jokes (Y/n)? Not so funny to play with a mans heart like that I nearly believed you.” He finished with a scoff, his signature smirk not reaching his eyes. “It’s true Joseph, my flight leaves tomorrow, I didn’t wanna leave without saying goodbye, because as much as we fuck around you’re pretty fun to hang out with.” Your sincerity almost made him feel bad about rushing the next few steps of his plan, he’d have to cram months of planning into a night but he’d accomplished more with less time on his side. He huffed, his grin stretched wide across his handsome features. “Then we outta make tonight count eh?” A thick arm was tossed around your neck, you had to bend awkwardly for this to be possible much to your amusement. “Okay you weirdo, whatever you say.” You let him lead you around town with a grin, unaware you’d be missing that plane, and any other one you tried to take without him.
Josuke watched you eat with the dopiest grin on his face, he’d spent an extra hour in the mirror this morning in preparation for your first official date! Well you didn’t exactly know it it was a date and Okayasu was eating rather messily beside you two but still! You’d actually agreed to come to Toni’s with him! You’d been an enigma since you transferred to the bizarre town, choosing to keep to yourself, and despite the intimidating height and mass you possessed, he saw through your act in seconds. There was a huge softie under all that muscle, he’d watched you enough to know this as a fact, you were a gem and he was intent on showing you his appreciation and adoration for the rest of his days, a vow he’d silently taken the day you’d stolen his heart, the moment was brief in reality but it lasted forever in his mind, you smiled at him in passing, he could feel time slow down, everyone around you faded in the background, a backdrop to the beginning of your story. He could imagine telling your kids how you’d met, something about the way you’d stare down at him, eyes sharp and attentive, like you truly listened when people spoke, your laugh was loud when it was real and every time he heard it he felt 10 years added to his lifespan. At the same time that icky feeling at another person making you laugh was conflicting, he’d never been in love before but he suddenly understood why his mom had never given up on his dad, love was weird but he wouldn’t give it up for anything. You’d accidentally snapped your chopsticks laughing too hard at a joke he’d tossed out, your face scrunched in embarrassment before chuckling at yourself and switching to a fork, his stand came out on its own, pocketing the shards to fix later, a new item for his ever growing collection, what a cute little memento from your first date! His thoughts swirled happily with the stories you’d be telling your kids. Thankfully neither of you noticed his little pickpocket moment, dangerous plans forming as he stared at you with those misleadingly soft puppy dog eyes.
Kira could die in this moment, happily I might add, as your firm but soft hand was wrapped oh so deliciously around his throat threatening to crush it with ease at the slightest movement. He’d been watching you for a while now, the longest he’d ever spent on someone he didn’t plan to kill, it become sort of hobby he’d picked up recently, the morally upsetting activity bringing peace to his day to day, usually he used his stand to carefully observe your routine, eager to learn all he could about his future spouses likes and desires, but he was getting greedy. Of course he could always introduce himself but he resisted, knowing there was a time and place to get exactly what he wanted. He liked to think he knew everything about you by now, your favorite color, how you liked your coffee, your love for cats, but he didn’t anticipate this. You were much more observant than he’d given you credit for, while you couldn’t see his stand you could sense yourself being watched, and seeing the large blonde lurking indiscriminately in the crowds throughout the day was enough to set you off. So you trailed off into the less crowded parts of town quickly entering an alleyway, he followed in pure confusion only to be roughly slammed into the wall, his stand came out on reflex but simply stared at his attacker, it seemed almost confused as what to do. “Why the hell are you following me pretty boy?” His eyes rolled to the back of his head at the feel of your fingers tightening, god he’d never felt this rush of exhilaration, none of his past ‘girlfriends’ could pull such an illicit reaction from him with a simple touch. When he didn’t answer you simply scoffed and tossed him aside like it was nothing. You left with a threat to stay out of your sight, yet all he could do was smile, the faint imprint of your fingers burned in his skin deliciously, how lucky could one man get?
Mista observed you with hungry eyes. His stare was unapologetically locked on your form. He made no intention to hide his attraction for you. The day you’d joined Buccarati’s crew was the day his world flipped. He assumed his new teammate would be no one to fuck with based on what Bruno told him about your stand, but when you walked in? Needing to bend down slightly just to enter the doorway had him sweating in his seat. He didn’t know what to say as he watched you happily interact with his fellow teammates, immediately you blended with the group, but all that was running through his mind were all the fun things you could do with those muscles. He usually stayed silent around you, not out of dislike as one would assume from his piercing gaze, but fear of accidentally voicing one of those nasty thoughts kept him quiet. You didn’t seem to mind though, always including him in the conversation, you even understood his very valid fear of that dreaded number! How could god plop such a perfect person in his lap and expect him to not do anything about it? Alas, Bruno had specifically told them not to make you uncomfortable with any flirting so he bit his tongue. Your aura was calming, a contrast to your powerful stand, speaking of, he couldn’t get his under control. Whenever they could Sex Pistols was out and all over you. They climbed and clamored for your attention, thankfully you didn’t seem to mind, always entertained their antics when you could, even giving each one a small peck when they wouldn’t let you leave for a mission without Mista, to say he was done for was an understatement, it took one mission going foul for his resistance to snap. His stand moved faster than it ever had, piercing the skulls of the idiots who brought you pain. He left the last one slowly bleeding out kneeling down to wipe the matted hair from your forehead, “You okay baby? Don’t worry honey I’ll make the bastard hurt.” He spoke not breaking eye contact, his hand pointed behind him, grip steady as he unloaded in the poor fool who thought it was a good idea to make you bleed, the wound was small, not even deep enough to trouble Giorno but that didn’t matter to Guido, any slight against you was disrespecting the future parent of his children, and what kind of man would he be if he didn’t defend your honor?
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Note
Hi! How are you!? Hope you're good 😁 Could I request a BuckyxFem!Reader oneshot? ❤️
A mission goes wrong. The reader and Bucky are trapped in a cell surrounded by several HYDRA agents. One of them says the keywords to activate the Winter Soldier just at the moment when Steve and Tony appear to help them, they fight against Bucky trying to make him the same again until a scream takes him out of that personality: the reader is wounded, wanting to protect him from another HYDRA agent getting in the way of the bullet. Bucky becomes him again and takes the reader in his arms to return to the quinjet.
Maybe lots of angst and fluffy ending with them confessing eachothers love at the hq?
Thank you so much!!!!!!! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
A/N: Hi guys! Wow it’s great to be back and free from college stress. I received this request two months ago, and again I am so sorry it took this long for me to make it, but writing academic papers had absolutely kicked my ass this past semester. This ask obviously takes place where Bucky has not been to Wakanda yet to get his trigger words removed. I hope you guys enjoy! I am a little rusty, and not sure if I should write from the first person perspective or third person perspective for Y/N fanfictions so let me know what you guys prefer. Happy Summer!
Pairings: Bucky x female!Reader
Warnings: Talks of blood, gun violence. Other than that I don’t think there is anything else.
Word Count: 2.5k
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You’re My Endgame
The floor was cold. It’s not like you haven’t endured worse, but the concrete you had been resting your head on was less than inviting. Your body was rigid due to the freezing temperatures and the uncomfortable position you curled your body into. The HYDRA facility you had been captured at was in Lithuania, Bucky promised he knew it like the back of his hand. Things had changed since his work and internal torment as the Winter Soldier, something he wasn’t expecting due to lack of funds on their part. Unfortunately, no one could’ve predicted there were spies in SHIELD funneling crazy amounts of money into new buildings and updating new HYDRA facilities and weapons.
You decided to sit up and stretch your limbs. It had felt like weeks you were being held hostage, but in actuality it was only a day at most. The HYDRA agents kept you and Bucky busy with periodic torture. You’ve been kicked, punched, beaten into the ground even but neither of you talked. Bucky was more familiar with these torture treatments than anyone, but he focused all of his attention on you.
He was the first real friend you had made at the Avengers’ campus. He had trauma, you had trauma, one of the best bonding factors you had both concluded. He listened to stories of your abusive childhood, being trained by your father as his own personal assassin, and he would share whatever he was comfortable telling you. You never poked and prodded. You knew you were more open than most when it came to over sharing experiences. Talking helped some people, others not so much.
You stood up and shook out your arms and legs. Once you stopped, you assessed the bruises on each body part, counting how many had accumulated over the canvas that was your skin. 48 in total. A new record.
You looked over at Bucky to see he was lying in a similar position to you, close enough that you were in arms reach but not too close that you were uncomfortable with his touch. You were both exhausted from the continuous torture, touching was not in anyone’s best interest at this point in time.
He groaned softly, beginning to stretch his limbs out as well. Trying to turn a horrible situation into a lighter occasion (as if that were possible), you cracked a joke in Bucky’s direction.
“Good morning sunshine, I see you decided to join me for our delicious gourmet breakfast” you gestured to nothing behind you on the concrete floor.
Bucky cracked a smile “Good thing I didn’t miss it, I’m starving” he joked back. You understood each other’s humor and personality so well.
“How’re you feeling Buck? I know they did a number on you after me” you looked down at him somberly.
He shook his head “Don’t worry about me. Show me your arms and legs. I wanna see how much they hurt you.”
You rolled your eyes. “Buck I’m fine. I can hold my own just the same as you. We are trained for these situations.”
Bucky rolled his eyes back at you. “Did I ask if you were trained? No. In fact I didn’t ask you anything at all. Show me your goddamn body Y/N”
You didn’t want to stress him out anymore, so you just knelt down in front of him and started showing him your arms. He hovered over them, careful not to touch your delicate flesh. His phase was full of confusion, anger, and something else you couldn’t quite put your finger on. He shook his head, not even wanting to see your legs if this is what your arms looked like. He didn’t want to upset himself even more, which would in turn make you upset.
“Lay back down Y/N. You need to rest, even if it is on concrete. We can’t have your pretty self looking like that when we get back to the compound now can we?” Bucky replied, trying to lighten the mood once again. It was worth a shot.
Bucky always told you you were pretty, never really thinking anything of it. Steve or Natasha was his endgame, and you respected that. You were best friends and best friends always complimented each other like that. You definitely didn’t need to make your relationship more complicated, even if you were desperately in love with him. You would keep those feelings locked down in the deepest crevices of your brain, unwilling to share with anyone.
You smiled towards Bucky, getting ready to sit back down when you heard the door to the basement unlock. You both winced at the sound, turning to look at each other with dread in your eyes. 
Please dear god no more. We can’t take anymore. 
You wanted to keep Bucky safe from HYDRA’s wrath, and he wanted to do the same for you. Given the circumstances however, it was near impossible. Bucky felt helpless that he couldn’t properly protect you against their torture, only adding to his mental torment. He was in pure agony, and hearing that door again made him want to scream out to a higher power he didn’t believe in. 
“Rise and shine dirtbags, we have a new surprise for you today” the first HYDRA agent said with a small smirk on his face. 
You had no idea what they had in store for you today, always expecting the worst. You definitely were not prepared for what they were planning to do to you today.
“You, girl, have you ever met those they call the Winter Soldier?” the second HYDRA agent asked.
You had no idea what he was talking about, honestly thinking he was talking about Bucky. You knew he had been called the Winter Soldier in the past, but Bucky never shared much of his trauma. You didn’t know to the full extent what he was capable of, he never wanted you to know what he was capable of. In response, you nodded with a confused look on your face.
Bucky, however, knew exactly what he was talking about. His heart felt like it had dropped to his stomach, unable to prepare for what was about to happen. He started shaking his head furiously, begging softly. “Please, please don’t do this. I’ll do anything, just please don’t do this. Not with her.” You could see the pain in his eyes.
A third HYDRA agent strutted into the room, just as smug as the other two. He was holding a red book with a black star on it. You thought it was just a log of what torture they had performed on you, but it was much more sinister based off of Bucky backing up into the far corner of the room with absolute dread in his eyes. That’s when the third HYDRA agent started to speak.
“Longing, rusted, seventeen.” Your confusion only grew as the HYDRA agent spoke these words, but your confusion slowly faded as concern took over. You looked over to Bucky who was squinting his eyes as he hugged his rigid body. He was whispering “No, no god please no, please stop.”
You walked over to him gently, crouching. “Bucky? Bucky what’s wrong..”
The second HYDRA agent took the book from the third, continuing reciting the words “Daybreak, furnace, nine.” Everyone’s smile grew wider except yours and Bucky’s. He was starting to shake from fear and anger, knowing what was about to happen. Bucky screamed at you, something he had never done before in his life. “Y/N, get away from me. Just stay away!” 
You were a strong woman, never faltering during a mission, especially in times of crisis, but you felt like curling up into a ball and crying. You were worried, disoriented, and even worse, you couldn't do a damn thing about it. The words kept flowing from the HYDRA agents’ mouths. 
“Benign, homecoming, one” the HYDRA agents spouted in unison. Bucky was screaming in pain. You couldn't bear to look at him, tears streaming down your face as you heard his agony. This was far worse than any torture inflicted on you yet. 
Then, the final word was spoken. 
“Freight Car”
Bucky’s eyes shot wide open. His rigid body remained the same, only beginning to stand instead of hugging himself in the fetal position. That’s when he spoke.
“готов подчиниться”
You understood the meaning, but didn't understand what your best friend had become. That’s when an explosion behind the three HYDRA agents erupted, causing everyone to become disoriented. 
Debris had been blown everywhere, dust clouding your vision and settling all around you. You didn’t see Bucky, you didn’t see the HYDRA agents. All you could see was a glow. It came from beyond where the explosion came from. You began squinting, trying to identify what was heading in your direction. That’s when you began to see flashes of the one and only “Hot Rod” red, along with the Star Spangled Man with a Plan. Although you wanted to smile at your rescue, your thoughts were all encompassed by Bucky. You hadn't known what happened to him, only knowing he was in extreme pain, now missing. You yelled out to Tony and Steve. 
“Over here!! I’m over here. Do you guys see Bucky??”
That’s when you heard a shift in the rubble, only a few short feet from where you were lying. A metal arm had popped out of the ground, reminiscent of the scene in the Evil Dead. 
Thank God. At least I know where he is. 
You worked slowly over to where he had appeared out of the ground. You began removing the stones off of his body with vigor. You could finally see his face and somewhat of his body, calling out his name. 
“Bucky? Bucky tell me if you’re hurt. Bucky please talk to me. You’re scaring me”
His expression remained blank, awaiting orders from whoever was willing to give them first. 
That’s when you heard the faint commands of a fallen HYDRA agent, determined to finish his job. 
“Attack”
Bucky’s reaction was immediate. He grabbed your throat with force, causing you to claw at his metal arm with what little energy you had left. Gasping and kicking your feet as he held you in the air, you tried calling out to him. This was your best friend, surely he had to recognize you. That’s when Steve threw his shield directly at Bucky’s legs, causing him to loosen his grip on your neck.
You fell to the ground coughing, your body begging for air as you inhaled so sharply you thought your chest would explode. Your coughing didn’t stop for a few seconds, only being brought back from reality when you heard the clash of vibranium on vibranium. You looked up to see Steve and Bucky fighting, Steve screaming “Buck! Buck it’s us!”
Bucky replied with angry grunts, not understanding anything but his commands. While Steve and Bucky fought, Tony was busy securing the area, taking out other HYDRA agents who had flooded the scene. You didn’t know what to do, but you knew Bucky was your top priority. You called out to him several times, hoping he would realize it was you. Your cries fell on deaf ears, however, as he continued to fight Steve with all of his might. 
You quickly glanced at everything going on, that’s when you noticed a HYDRA agent Tony had missed while fending them off. He was holding a loaded pistol, directly in Steve and Bucky’s direction. Before you could truly process what was going on, you heard the gunshot go off. At this point you weren’t too far away from them, sprinting in their direction to protect them from the bullet. You launched yourself in their direction, screaming in pain as your body was pushed to it’s limits already in pain. As you fell to the ground, you barely noticed the bullet had entered your right shoulder. Figuring the pain was from landing on sharp stones, you groaned loudly. 
As soon as you screamed, Bucky was ripped from his Winter Soldier persona and back into reality. However, Steve didn't see his realization, landing a punch straight to Bucky’s jaw, sending him staggering back. Both Steve and Bucky turned their attention to you, lying on the ground and bleeding everywhere. Bucky, who couldn’t care less about the fact that he just got punched in the face, moved over to your body with haste.
He looked down at you softly, covered in dirt and blood. His heart wretched in his chest, knowing all of this could’ve been avoided if he just double checked the layouts of the base before invading the building for their mission. “Y/N? Y/N sweetheart talk to me please” he said as he picked your head up gently to lay in his lap. You coughed up a little spittle of blood as you turned to look at him with tenderness in your eyes.
“Bucky? Is, is it you?”
He smiled down at you, with tears rolling down his cheeks. 
“Yes sweetheart, it’s me. Just hang in there for me okay? We’re gonna get you to the quinjet. It’s gonna be okay.” You could hear the cracks in his voice as he spoke to you, but couldn't focus on it for too long. Both your vision and your hearing were starting to waver, going in and out as the chaos ensued around you. 
The last words you remembered hearing before everything went back was Bucky’s voice. 
“Don’t leave me now sweet girl, I need you. Please don’t go, you’re it for me.”
He continued talking, but lost consciousness as he spoke. Everything was dark.
_______________________________________________________________________
You woke up, looking at an absolutely blinding light. You squinted as you opened your eyes, not fully able to open them completely thanks to the mini sun above your head. 
You began to move your limbs, realizing that someone was holding your left hand. You looked over to see Bucky, sitting with you in the quinjet infirmary, his head hung low and gentle sobs escaping his mouth. 
You spoke up softly, unable to speak at a normal tone. 
“Bucky?” 
Bucky picked up his head, eyes puffy and red from the crying, not expecting you to be awake so soon after how much blood you had lost. 
“Y/N? Oh god, oh sweetheart” he stood up and kissed your forehead, not wanting to move your body by embracing you with a hug.
You smiled up at him as he hovered above your face, taking in your beauty.
He spoke with a quiver in his voice. 
“I, I thought I’d lost you. All because I was a fucking idiot who couldn't do my job before the mission, Y/N I am so sorry, I don’t, I never wanted you to see me that way. I’m so stupid, I’m-” you stopped Bucky from continuing his pity party by raising your left hand to his lips, shushing him with one finger. 
You gently removed your hand and lifted your head slightly to meet his lips with yours. You both closed your eyes as your lips met, savoring how delicious you both tasted, even post mission. You deepened the kiss slightly, angling your head so you both had more access to each other’s mouths. You held the kiss for what seemed like forever, finally decided to pull away softly. 
Staring into his beautiful ocean blue eyes, smiling up at him while holding the back of his head, you spoke softly “You are Bucky Barnes, and you’re my endgame.”
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twistedtranslations · 4 years
Text
Cater Diamond - Full of Lies
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You can unlock this story by getting Cater’s SSR Scary dress
Big thanks to Rym and Apollo for proofreading!
Translation under the cut
Chapter 1
Main street
/Notification
Cater: Oh? A message on MagiCam? Who would've thought it was that girl! How nostalgic~ The picture those ghosts took at Ramshackle dorm made our college's Halloween event trend -> Jumping onto the bandwagon and posting a lot -> Huge success for Cay's follower-catching strat! So far it's been going well but… Mixed within the comments and DMs of my new followers are a lot of old aquaintances. Even some classmates from middle and elementary school are here.
Cater: "Hey! It's been a while! Oh, would you like to come to our college? Cay welcomes every single one of you! You can always come over to hang at NRC's Halloween event!"
Cater: And now some emoji full of feelings!  (^○^)♪ (ゝω・)☆ d(’v`*)b
Cater: Everyone is really so casual and easygoing~ Well, it's easier on me, so I'm not complaining.
???: HEY!
Cater: Where did that loud and rowdy voice come from? I've got a bad feeling about this…
Front Gate
Sebek: Humans, don't crowd around the young master! Get out! Leave!
Boy A: Hey, what are you doing, sweptback bro! Don't interfere with our Draconia Challenge.
Boy B: We're putting our lives on the line to show our bravery by uploading a picture of us touching The Malleus!
Boy A: Huh, since when did Malleus disappear?! It's that sweptback bro's fault.
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Boy B: Don't be so angry. After all the effort of having a sweptback, let's show the world a huge smile on that face!
Sebek: For humans of your social standing to use the name of the Lord of the esteemed Valley of Thorns in vain…Besides, my hair is swept back like this so I have an unobstructed view to find those like you who behave rudely towards my young master! You shall receive punishment for insulting the Draconia… no, for insulting the young master. My thunder shall shock you all to bits! HAAAAA...
Cater: Okay, stop! I'm part of the Halloween Committee. It's forbidden to fight. Why don't you try talking to this lad if something's up?
Sebek: Don't interrupt me, you frolicking human! I will shock you to bits as well!
Cater: Won't you create a scandal for the Draconia family if you were to harm an ordinary human with magic?
Sebek: W-Well… You're right. Besides, didn't you just say you were part of the Halloween committee? Both the young master and master Lilia are both performing the same duties… They ordered me to listen to the orders of the other committee members. Ok, I shall talk this out.
Cater: Even though you are crossing your arms and puffing your chest out, you are being apologetic right? Anyway, these are our college's precious guests. They have no intention to harm Malleus.
Sebek: These magic-less weaklings were making a spectacle bothering Young Master with a toy. I cannot forgive that!
Cater: Malleus is like super famous, and he's an admirable being, right? So just for this festival, it should be fine to interact with our guests as a little fanservice right?
Sebek: Stop messing around. The young master is a dreadful being who makes everyone kneel and bow down to him. AND THAT'S WHY I WILL NEVER LEAVE HIS SIDE AND PROTECT HIM ALL MY LIFE!
Cater: You're just obsessed!
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Boy A: Hey, interfering our Draconia Challenge aside, what are you two squabbling about?
Sebek: Hm? You humans are still here? I told you to leave.
Boy B: Huh? You've got some nerve, talking rudely to us like that!
Cater: Come on guys. Why don't we take some pictures together since it's finally Halloween! We, Heartslabyul are those who rise from the soil in the darkness, the underlings of the night~
Boy A: Wow! Now that you mention it, you do look real good for the camera!
Cater: Cheer up everyone and gather! Let's decide on a pose~~~ Happy Halloween~
¨*shutter noise*
Cater: (Ugh… This is exhausting)
Chapter 2
Classroom
Kalim/Cater/Lilia: *Sigh*… I'm tired….
Cater: This year's Halloween was exhausting. Mainly due to our guests being rowdy..
Kalim: It was fun entertaining the guests, but I was really troubled because Jamil got in a foul mood.
Lilia: Even we, three most gentle boys, have been worn down. The other students must be at the limits of their patience.
Everyone: *Sigh*…
Cater: Now that you say it, by chance all the members of the light music club are also part of the Halloween Committee. Let's have our usual relaxing tea time while also discussing some countermeasures.
Kalim/Lilia: Agreed~
Cater: I got this! Trey's home-made pumpkin pie! It's moderately sweet, so it's my favorite!
Kalim: I have kunafa. It's a cheesecake from the Scalding Sands. It's delicious when it's hot!
Lilia: Oho, these are all sweets befitting of Halloween. As the last one, I have prepared this. Licorice!
Cater: You're always bringing the same thing! You know me and Kalim don't like that.
Kalim: The smell makes my nose shrivel up~
Cater: But you know, since it's black, it does feel like Halloween. Oh, right, let's take a picture together. It's super charming to be in costume and have themed food.
*shutter noise*
Cater: #TheBestHalloween #SelfmadeCostume #HomemadeTreat #LightMusicClub #NRCHalloween
Kalim: The best? Didn't you say you were exhausted earlier, Cater?
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Cater: I never said it wasn't exciting and for things like SNS, isn't it better to exaggerate a bit?
Lilia: As expected of you. We live in a period where everyone is connected all around the world. It is most wonderful to spread happiness instead of complaints.
Cater: Oh. The picture I just uploaded got an amazing response! 
*notification*
Cater: Another message from that girl. Was she the kind to keep track of people's activities?
*ringing noise*
Cater: This time it's a call. (How persistent…)
Kalim: Cater, is it from one of your friends? You can pick up if you want.
Cater: Hm~… More like an acquaintance from the past? But it's alright? We're at a very important meeting, after all.
Lilia: We are only eating sweets, taking pictures and uploading them to MagiCam though…
Cater: It's the age of social media where everyone can keep in contact at their own pace, you don't have to go through the pains of having to response in real time to a phone call.
Kalim: Do you have that many people who want to get in touch with you? You're so well connected Cater~
Cater: Well, if you look the amount of aquaintances I have, that might be true? My dad's a banker. The bank he works at has branches all over the world. Therefore, whenever he transferred to a different branch, our entire family would move with him. We moved once every two years, so I kind of feel like a pro at quickly packing things?
Lilia: Commonly said, you are a family who moved a lot for the sake of the breadwinner.
Kalim: So the reason why you have so many friends is because you have travelled around the world since young.
Cater: Yeah, the girl just now said we are friends as well. Having to change schools frequently, I got to meet more people compared to someone staying at one place. From the best to the worst… a lot of people. However, they all had something in common.
Kalim/Lilia: …?
Cater: If I left there, they remained there. That's why I'd rather have a casual and happy time with everyone than to deepen a friendship. It’s like a circus troupe, you know, having fun hanging with people all over the world and then leaving. That's why MagiCam is the best! People from my school from three years ago contacted me out of the blue. My social circle is expanding as well. Cay is getting popular!
Kalim: Even if they're far away, you don't have to hold back you know? I got it! I'll lend you my magic carpet, so you can visit your friends whenever you want.
Cater:… I expected no less of you, Kalim. I'll take you up on that offer next time.
Lilia: I feel like I understand you.
Cater: Hm?
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Lilia: The relations between humans are eternal. They are things that cannot be severed. In a new place with no trace of your existence, new relations will continue to be forged. That in itself is nature. However, I think the more precious a relation is, the more lonely it becomes. Why does it feel that way? I have lived a long life but the reason is still unknown to me. But just as Cater said, there may be a perfectly logical explanation for not getting too attached to one person in particular.
Cater: Lilia, what got into you suddenly? What I wanted to say was-
*ringing noise*
Lilia: Hello, this is Lilia speaking? What business do you have?
Cater: He just casually picked up the phone during our conversation.
Lilia: Oh, Sebek. What is it? You are so loud. Right now, I am in a meeting with Cater and Kalim. WHAT?! MALLEUS?!
Kalim/Cater: ?!
Chapter 3
Hall of Mirrors
Silver: Stop pushing. It's forbidden to enter the Hall of Mirrors.
Man A: Huh, really! I came all the way to the Isle of Sages to see Malleus Draconia.
Man B: We are doing the Draconia challenge now! Why can't we enter~
Girl C: He’s inside right! An actual Draconia, the Actual Malleus!
Everyone: MALLEUS! MALLEUS! MALLEUS!
*Lightning and thunder*
Silver: It's a rare event that Master Malleus is participating in. He also agreed to interact with the guests... For it to come to this... Everyone, it’s better if you leave. You have angered master Malleus.
Man A: I paid a lot of travel expenses, did you know that? This is the price of fame.
Everyone: MALLEUS! MALLEUS! MALLEUS!
Exterior Hallway
Cater: Did the visitors who wanted that  MagiCam glory end up angering even Malleus himself?
Sebek: Yes. At first he was gentle and calmed me down when I got angry… but a fool grabbed Malleus by the horns and made fun of him by saying "Look! It's a bicycle from the olden days!"
Lilia/Cater: Gh!
Cater: I don't know if they're brave or just reckless. Were the dark clouds and thunder rampaging in the sky above the Hall of Mirrors due to Malleus' anger? You don't think he overblotted, right…?!
Lilia: Do not worry. Using that amount of magic power shall not make him overblot. He is simply irritated. Back when he was young, mountains would be destroyed by his lightning whenever he threw a tantrum.
Cater: Hahaha… that's on a totally different level. I guess it was a good idea to have Kalim fetch the professors.
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Sebek: Upperclassman Vil noticed something was up and isolated the young master. He also casted a defensive spell so the tourists wouldn't be harmed. And it seemed that Upperclassman Jade is persuading the angry young master with some unique methods... Even so, those humans who can't seem to understand the gravity of the situation keep stirring up the young master, they're uncontrollable.
Lilia: This means we must use our last resort. We must put in effort to suppress the onlookers and avoid the worst situation.
Cater: Wait a second, Lilia. I thought of something. It's not like people there dislike Malleus or anything. Despite that, it doesn't mean that they like Malleus as well... They're just interested in trends. Just like my old acquaintances.
Lilia: ?
Cater: First, I'll take a picture of Lilia, who's wearing the same clothes as Malleus!
*shutter noise*
Cater: Next we use something catered to influencers. We'll elongate Lilia's picture with a photo editing app!
*swiping on phone*
Cater: Now we just add some text to finish it up. And then upload a cropped version to MagiCam!!
*Phone SFX*
Cater: #AWildMalleusAppeared #DraconiaChallenge #UnexpectedlyAtSportsGround #NRCHalloween
*Phone SFX*
Hall of Mirrors
Man A: H-Hey. Look at the Draconia challenge tag.
Man B: It seems he's at the Sports Ground now. As expected of Malleus. He's much faster than we are!
Girl C: Okay. Everyone, let's move!
Everyone: YEAH!
Silver: What happened? Master Malleus should still be in the Hall of Mirrors.
Cater: Fu. With this, I hope the storm has passed…?
Vil: Good grief. Accidents are an unavoidable part of stage plays. Letting yourself get influenced by the guests is so amateurish. My work here is done. I will return to the dorm to straighten up my appearance.
Jade: My, that was a close call. Malleus is extremely powerful. I persuaded him to the best of my abilites, trying to get him to understand. But there was no one to turn to if it had failed. Well then, I will also return to my station. I wish everyone a wonderful Halloween.
Malleus: I caused many disturbances between different racial groups during a mere school event. I should restrain myself more…
Sebek: The young master has done nothing wrong! It was the fault of those inferior humans!
Silver: The young master told us to avoid hostility between fae and humans. Why are you getting more hostile?
Sebek: WHAT DID YOU SAY SILVER!
Lilia: Malleus. Did you forget our promise from long ago? Call for us when the tranquility in your mind is disturbed.  Even if we are not related by blood, we are still a family. Got it?
Malleus: Lilia… My apologies. To everyone.
Everyone: …
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Cater: ….Family…huh.
Flashback
Lilia: But just as Cater said, there may be a perfectly logical explanation for not getting too attached to one person in particular.
Flashback ends
Cater: (That was full of lies. For a guy who grew up and lived in the same place, he never had to deal with rebuilding relations over and over…He would never understand my worthless and meaningless feelings.)
*ringing*
Cater: Hello, Trey. What's up? Huh? Are we doing our rehearsal for our night show at the stamp rally now? And Deuce, who is also part of the Halloween Committee, was at his wit's end due to the lack of manpower. So Ace is helping him out? Darn, Ace is definitely going to extort me for a favor later!
Cater: Argh! And is Riddle on the verge of a rampage? I'll be back soon, Trey. Please calm him down! I am currently at the site of the biggest crisis yet of this Halloween Week! No, for real! I'm not lying. That's why you don't have to be so cold to me, 'kay? URGH, TREY, YOU'RE SO CRUEL!
Cater: Now that Diasomnia's turmoil has settled, let's change the mood and continue on with work. In any case, we’ll still separate after the fourth year… It would be different if I repeated a year though. Anyway, I should just enjoy the moment to my heart's content! I'll surprise everyone with this charming skeleton costume! I'll show them what I'm capable of!
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Cater: Happy Halloween!
675 notes · View notes
nerdzzone · 3 years
Text
The Aftermath
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Summary: Dealing with the fall out of their first night together isn’t easy for Whitney Taylor or Chris Evans, but given the complicated results of their frivolous activities, it isn’t something they can avoid forever.
Chris Evans x OFC
Part One: Luckless Romance
Note: I was originally going to leave Luckless Romance as a one shot, but I had some requests for a part two. I had it all planned out in my head anyway so I figured I’d write it up to explain more of where our two lovely character’s heads were at!
Please let me know your thoughts! Or if there’s any other parts of their story that you’d like to hear about!
_____
When Chris woke up, the first thing he noticed was the throbbing in his head.
The second thing he noticed was the warm body curled into his side.
His initial reaction to that sensation was confusion, but as the events of the night before quickly came back to him, he was filled with an unignorable sense of dread.
He'd fucked up.
He'd spent a year burying his feelings for her to protect their friendship and all it took was a few drinks and flirtatious remarks for him to risk it all. He cared for her, there was no doubt about that, but he knew she didn't feel the same way. Clearly, she was at least attracted to him, but he'd hazard a guess that her loneliness was the driving factor in why she'd chosen to indulge in the activities they'd partaken in a few hours earlier. She’d had no luck in the dating scene, so she'd settled for him and now, when she woke up, she'd break his heart.
She didn't want him.
She didn't want the life that he could offer.
She'd made it clear that she found the world of Hollywood exhausting when she'd talked about her discontent with living in L.A. and that was a world he couldn't escape from. Plus, his fans had given her a hard enough time when she was just a close friend. If she was to become something more, they would tear her apart. He didn't want that for her and he knew that she didn't want that kind of hassle in her life either.
But he couldn't stand to hear her say it. He never did well with rejection and rejection from this woman - who he knew was absolutely perfect for him - was more than he could handle.
So, after carefully extracting himself from her grasp without waking her, he left.
He felt sleezy and awful not even saying goodbye, but he needed to quiet the noise in his brain before he could face her and he figured she would probably appreciate his absence. He knew firsthand how awkward it was to let down a one night stand the morning after so, really, he was sparing her just as much as he was protecting himself.
The heat outside was stifling already and made Chris realize just how desperate he was for something to quench his thirst. They'd drunk more than he normally did and he was feeling the effects. Perhaps that was why his mind was so fuzzy and unable to process what had happened, but he figured it was a safe bet that he could pin that on his anxiety.
And there were only two people who had much luck soothing him when his mind started racing: his mother and his brother.
He knew his mother would be disappointed in him if he told her what happened. He'd poured his heart out to her several times about the confliction he felt with his feelings for Whitney, he dreaded to think what she would say about him finally doing something about those feelings in such a reckless way and he was definitely too hungover to deal with her reaction to how he'd handled things that morning.
So, that left Scott.
Pulling out his phone, he glanced at the time and cringed. It wasn't even six thirty yet and with it being a Sunday there was a good chance that Scott was in a worse post-inebriated state than he was, but he took a chance and hit 'call'.
It took a few rings, but eventually Scott answered, his voice still groggy from sleep.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Scott," Chris greeted him as he crossed the street. He needed to flag down a cab to get home, but figured the quiet park across from Whitney's apartment was a better place for this conversation. No extra ears listening in. "I fucked up."
"Chris, it's not even seven o'clock in the morning. How badly could you have fucked anything up this early?"
He sounded tired and Chris felt bad, but he needed someone to talk to.
"I slept with Whitney."
There was a moment of silence before Scott let out a cheer.
"Finally!" He practically squealed, but then he paused as he took in what Chris had said. "Wait, how did you fuck up? Did you not use your best moves?"
"What? No, nothing like that," Chris' brow furrowed in annoyance. "I fucked up by sleeping with her at all. She's one of my best friends, Scott, and now that's ruined. It’ll never be the same, if she even wants anything to do with me now."
"Did she not seem happy about it? What did she say when you left?"
"Nothing," Chris admitted. "I left this morning before she woke up."
There was a moment of silence as Scott processed his brother's words.
"Okay, I'm starting to see where you fucked up. You shouldn't have done that."
"No, I fucked up by sleeping with her!"
Chris' tone was snappy and uncalled for, but his headache was getting worse by the minute and he was feeling exasperated enough without Scott's judgment.
"Alright, alright, calm down," Scott sighed. "If you want my honest opinion, I think you're overreacting. You two have always had a 'will they won't they' vibe about you. She's clearly just as interested in you as you are in her."
"Why 'clearly'?" Chris questioned. "She's never acted like she sees me as more than a friend."
"Uh, yes, she has. She blushes and giggles like a schoolgirl every time you compliment her, she practically drools at the sight of you and listens with hearts in her eyes whenever you talk. She's got it just as bad as you do."
"Don't do that," Chris groaned. "Don't put ideas in my head that aren't true."
"It is true. I wouldn't lie to you about that," Scott insisted. "I think this is just your anxiety talking. Go back to her place before she wakes up, hear what she has to say and go from there. She might surprise you."
"I'll think about it," Chris lied, knowing already that he couldn't face going back. "Thanks for answering. I'll let you get back to bed."
"Don't mention it," Scott assured him. "I know you're stressed now, but I'm happy for you. It's about time the two of you came to your senses."
Chris smiled despite his disbelief in what Scott had said. He laughed it off and said his goodbyes before walking towards the nearest road to catch a cab.
He saw Whitney's message a few hours later, but he ignored it. He needed to get his head straight and steel himself for however she chose to let him down before he would be ready to talk to her.
It took days for him to get to the point of acceptance, but she never messaged him again. So, working on the assumption that she was relieved by his silence or didn't care enough to demand any explanations, he got on a plane and headed back to Massachusetts with plans to spend the next few months drowning his sorrows and pushing her from his mind.
-
Three Weeks Later
My period was late.
For the last ten years of my life, my period had arrived with impressive reliability and now, a few weeks after having unprotected sex, my period was late.
It didn't take a genius to figure out what was going on. There was no doubt in my mind that I was pregnant.
"It's not that easy to get pregnant," Hannah insisted as we sat in my living room, counting down the minutes until the pregnancy test would be ready. "A lot of people who actually want to get pregnant have to try for months before it happens. It seems super unlikely that you'd get pregnant from a random one night stand."
"Yeah, but it does happen to plenty of women," I pointed out. "And knowing my luck, I would get knocked up by a man who then flees the state without another word."
Hannah winced as I paced in front of her.
"Still haven't heard anything, then?"
"Nope, nothing," I sighed. "I haven't reached out again, but he made himself pretty clear by leaving before I woke up and then ignoring my text."
"I just don't get it. He was so obviously into you. I would have bet money that you two would live happily ever after."
"You did bet money," I reminded her. "I'm still waiting for that thousand dollars you promised me."
"You didn't accept!" She smiled. "I owe you nothing!"
While I didn't really expect her to pay me, I was going to argue the point, but the timer we'd set for the test went off and snapped our focus back to the task at hand.
"Oh god," I groaned. "You read it. I can't deal with this."
Hannah nodded and carefully picked up the little stick before looking up at me with a grin.
"It's negative!"
I felt a wave of relief, but it was quickly replaced with doubt. I felt like I was pregnant. My period was late for the first time in years, I'd had sex without a condom and I was nauseous and my boobs hurt. It seemed too good to be true that it was all some kind of coincidence.
"What? Are you sure?"
"Yeah!" Hannah smiled. "There's two lines!"
Her words hit me like a truck as my stomach dropped.
"Hannah, two lines means positive."
"No, it doesn't," she insisted, reaching for the box. The fall of the smile on her face told me all I needed to know before she even spoke again. "Shit. Sorry, babe. You're pregnant."
I let out a groan as I flopped onto the couch next to her.
"This is a nightmare."
"Shall I get my shotgun?"
I raised an eyebrow at my friend.
"What?"
"For a shotgun wedding?"
I laughed at that suggestion, but shook my head.
"No, I don't want him to be forced into anything."
"Well, what are you going to do?"
"I don't know," I admitted. "It doesn't really seem real yet."
"Are you going to tell him?"
I looked down at my still flat stomach and nodded my head.
"Yeah, I'll have to. I know it's still new, but I want to keep it so he'll have to know," I sighed. "If he even answers my calls."
"He will," she assured me. "Or we'll fly out to Boston and you can tell him after I kick his ass."
The image that statement conjured in my mind pulled another laugh from my lips as I felt an overwhelming wave of appreciation for my friend. I knew that no matter what, she was in my corner and that was a comforting thought even in the midst of all the uncertainty that was swirling around me.
"Thanks, Hannah," I smiled. "I really appreciate all your support."
"Of course," she reached out to squeeze my shoulder. "Are you going to call him now?"
"No, I think I'll do it later," I informed her. "I want to wrap my head around it a little bit first."
"That's probably sensible," she agreed as a grin slid onto her face. "Wow, you're gonna have a baby, Whit. I know it's scary, but that's really cool."
"Cool isn't the word that I'd use. Try absolutely terrifying."
My earlier smile was still on my face despite my bleak words as I thought about what she'd said. It was somewhat good news. Definitely worrying, especially given my situation with Chris, but I'd always wanted to have kids so it would have been a lie for me to say that I wasn't at least a little bit intrigued by the idea.
-
When Hannah left my house, about an hour after we read the test, I planned on taking some time to fully comprehend the news before I shared it with Chris. However, almost as soon as I closed the door behind my friend, I remembered the time difference. Chris was three hours ahead of me which meant that even though it was only five o'clock for me, it was already eight o'clock where he was.
I felt the anxiety bubbling in my stomach as soon as I came to that realization because I knew that if I wanted to call him that day, I had to do it right away and if I didn’t call him soon, I was worried I’d lose the nerve.
I took a deep breath and went straight for my phone, dialing his number before I could change my mind, but I was crushed when he didn't answer. I waited a few minutes and then tried again, but still, there was no answer and I let out a growl of frustration as I frantically typed out a text.
Hey. Call me as soon as you can. It's important.
I paced around my apartment, the reality of the situation starting to creep in now that he, once again, seemed to be rejecting me. 
I didn't want to tell him news like this over the phone, but I'd seen the paparazzi pictures of him arriving at the airport in Boston so I knew that I had no other choice. However, if he wasn't even going to answer my calls, I'd have to get the news to him another way. My mind immediately started racing with all the possible ways I might have to break the news to him as the panic of potentially having to do this alone started to rise.
But luckily, all those concerns were irrelevant when my phone lit up with Chris' name on the screen.
"Hey," I answered quickly before he had the chance to change his mind and hang up. "Thanks for calling."
There was a moment of silence before he replied.
"Sure," he kept his tone cool and steady, but there was an underlying tension. "What's up?"
The sound of his voice brought tears to my eyes. This was it. This was the make or break moment and I felt my palms start to sweat as it hit me just how devastated I'd be if it didn't go well.
"I, uh, I don��t really want to tell you this over the phone, but I guess I don’t really have much choice," I started. "I got some news today that you have a right to know."
It seemed obvious to me what I would be hinting at considering our current situation and the silence that followed my words led me to believe that he had a pretty good idea what I was going to say. When he stayed quiet, wordlessly waiting for me to continue, I took a deep breath and dove in.
“I’m pregnant.”
I hadn't thought much about how I was going to tell him, but I figured there was probably a better way than blurting it out that bluntly. I cringed slightly at my harsh delivery as his silence was almost immediately broken and he started spluttering and stuttering, stumbling over his words until he managed to blurt out one clear sentence.
"Is it mine?"
A burst of anger flashed through me at such a suggestion.
"Yes! Oh my God, Chris, of course it's yours!" I insisted. "How many people do you think I've slept with in the last month?"
Maybe he thinks you're a slut, the voice in my head taunted me. Maybe that's why he left without a word.
That thought was enough to get the tears flowing and, when Chris didn’t answer my question, I let out a sob. I covered my mouth to hopefully stifle the sound, but I knew he heard it loud and clear.
"Shit, Whitney," he sighed. "That was a dumb thing to say. You just caught me off guard."
"Well, how do you think I feel?" I hissed. "I'm scared, Chris. What are we going to do?"
This time there was no hesitation before he answered.
"I'll get the first flight out tomorrow morning," he informed me. "We can talk about it then."
"Okay," I sniffled. "I'm sorry."
"No need to be sorry," he assured me. "It's just as much my fault as it is yours."
My emotions were overwhelming me by that point and I stayed quiet, knowing I'd fall apart if I opened my mouth to speak, but Chris didn't let the silence last too long this time.
"Are you, uh, are you gonna keep it?" He asked, sounding heartbreakingly similar to a small child asking his parents if he could keep the stray dog he'd brought home. "It's your call, but I'm behind you one hundred percent."
"I am going to keep it," I told him quietly. "But you only have to be as involved as you want to be."
"I want to be very involved," Chris answered quickly before letting out a sharp laugh. "Fuck, I'm gonna be a dad."
The sound of more laughter floated through the phone after that realization, but I couldn't tell if it was giddy or hysterical.
"You are," I agreed, feeling some relief from his reaction despite how complicated I knew things would be. "But we can talk about it all when you're here. If you really don't mind coming back."
"Not at all, this is important." He assured me. "I'll be there as soon as I can. I'll text you with the details as soon as I know."
"Okay, thank you."
He insisted that I didn't need to thank him before we quickly wrapped up the conversation.
There was a lot to say and a lot to discuss, but it wasn’t something to be talked about it over the phone. We needed to discuss it in person once we'd both had time to understand exactly what it meant.
And we needed to figure out what the hell we were going to do about us.
-
I thought having almost twenty-four hours to compose my thoughts would make things easier, but as I waited for Chris to get to my apartment I still had a lot of questions and concerns
But I had decided one thing for certain: we were better off as friends.
When we were friends, he didn't ignore my calls. When we were friends, he didn't run out of my apartment without saying goodbye. When we were friends, he hadn't broken my heart because I never gave him the chance. I was frustrated by his behaviour since the night we spent together and it made me angry. When I thought about it too hard, it made my blood boil and I wanted to tear a strip off of him for making me feel so used. When we were friends, I'd never felt more than a hint of annoyance towards him.
So, the only solution as far as I could see, was for us to stay just friends.
That would prevent any more heightened emotions and if we didn't do it that way, I would end up resentful and bitter. I didn't have much experience with children, but even I knew that those feelings would create a very toxic relationship for raising a child.
Which is why, as soon as he stepped into my apartment, I was on the defensive.
"I think we both know that we're better off as friends," I blurted out before the door was even shut behind him. "What happened was a mistake and now we just have to find a way to work together as friends."
Chris looked surprised, which I found surprising, but he recovered quickly and nodded his head. I'd be lying if I said that wasn't bittersweet. I didn't have the energy to argue with him, but part of me was definitely hoping that he'd put up a bit more of a fight.
"Yeah, I think you're right," he agreed after a moment of thought before changing the subject. "How are you feeling?"
"Fine," I shrugged. "A bit nauseous and very emotional, but nothing I can't handle so far."
"Good, that's good," Chris smiled. "Have you been to a doctor yet?"
"No, not yet. I have an appointment tomorrow."
"Can I-" Chris paused to clear his throat, looking nervous. "Can I come?"
I felt my heart flutter at the thought of him caring enough to want to come to a doctor's appointment, but I shut those feelings down as fast as they popped up. He cared for the baby, not for me.
"Sure," I nodded. "But it won't be very interesting. I think it's mostly just checking all my basic information so they can keep track and probably some blood tests and vitamin recommendations."
"Doesn't matter," Chris insisted. "I want to be there for it all. We're in this together."
Those words brought more tears to my eyes, but I blinked them back and looked away. In a move that I wasn’t expecting, Chris noticed immediately and took the few steps needed to put him right in front of me.
"Hey, what's wrong?"
His hands settled on my arms and the way he rubbed them would have been soothing if it didn't break my heart. How could this supportive, comforting man in front of me right now be the same man who slept with me and then never called me?
"I'm just overwhelmed," I choked out. "We really fucked up, Chris. How could we be so stupid?"
"I don't know," Chris sighed. "It was a dumb mistake, but we can make the most of it. We can do this."
"I know, I know," I took a deep, shaky breath to try and pull myself together. "It's just a lot to take in and I don't think it's really hit me yet."
"It is a lot," he agreed. "Here, let's go sit down."
I let him lead me over to the couch and then flopped down on it. He sat next to me, but we stayed quiet, neither of us really knowing what to say. After a few moments of tense silence, Chris finally spoke.
"I know this might be asking a lot," he started, the hesitation in his voice making me nervous. "But would you consider moving to Massachusetts?"
It wasn't an unexpected request. I knew Chris was happier there and considered it his home and I had told him how tired I was getting of living in Los Angeles. It was probably the better place for raising a child as well. I'd heard plenty of stories about Chris' childhood and it was pretty idyllic - full of experiences that children growing up in a big city like L.A. didn't often get.
However, it meant that I would have to leave my entire support system behind. All my friends and my family would be here and I would be completely alone except for Chris - who I wasn't even in a relationship with - and a child - who was hardly going to be able to provide much emotional support.
It seemed like the best option for everyone involved except for me and I wasn't sure that was a sacrifice that I was selfless enough to make.
I realized how long his words had been hanging in the air between us as I got lost in my thoughts and my head fell into my hands with a groan.
"I don't think I'm cut out for this," I whined, tears filling my eyes again as I felt a strange mix of emotions There was plenty of regret and with that came guilt because this poor child deserved a mother that didn't dread it's existence. "I'm not mom material, Chris. I don't have the instincts."
"It's all still fresh," he reminded me. "The instinct isn't instant. But I didn't mean to upset you, if you don't want to move to Massachusetts then we'll figure it out."
"No, no, it makes the most sense," I sniffled, lifting my head to look back up at Chris. "It's just scary. I don't want to leave my family and friends and I'll have to move soon if I'm going to so I can find a doctor, it's a lot to think about right now."
"It is, but I can ask Carly about a doctor. My family will support you one hundred percent."
I forced a weak smile, but I felt more nerves bubbling in my stomach.
"Have you told them?" I asked. "Does your mom hate me? I hope she doesn't think I'm trying to take advantage of you."
"No way!" Chris insisted with a chuckle. "She gave me a very stern lecture about being responsible, but I've talked about you enough for her to know you're not some crazed fan looking for a payout."
"That's good." I breathed out a sigh of relief. I knew he was incredibly close with his mother and I didn't want her to think badly of me. "I haven't told anyone yet, except Hannah."
"Downey's gonna kill me, isn't he?"
He shot me a sheepish look as he spoke, but I shook my head.
"Nah, I think he'll be thrilled. He loves babies and he's been teasing me about us getting together since the night we met," I informed him, watching his face for a reaction to that statement. There wasn't any. "He'll probably have a bet to cash in on as soon as I tell him the news."
"Well, that's reassuring," Chris smiled. "I think we'll have enough people who'll be mad at us..."
He was clearly referring to his fans and I cringed.
"What are you going to do about that?"
He shrugged.
"What do you want me to do?"
I took a moment to think before I answered him.
"I don't want you to publicly deny that the baby is yours," I warned him, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to bear hearing that even if I knew that he really had no doubts. "But I don't care if you don't make a big announcement. We can just let people draw their own conclusions."
"Making a statement might be better. It would stop the rumours from getting out of hand. There'd be an uproar, but it would eventually die down," he pointed out. "I'll talk to my team and let you know, but you should probably make all your social media private whatever we decide."
I didn't use social media much and I definitely never posted pictures of Chris, but even so I'd felt the wrath of his fans more than once after we were spotted out together so I knew how they could be.
I nodded in response to his instructions and another silence settled between us.
My mind was racing with questions that I wanted to ask. I wanted to know why he'd left, why he hadn't called, why he'd even slept with me if he really didn't see me that way. Part of me even wanted to cry and plead with him to give me a chance, to let me show him that I was good enough to be more than a friend, but I knew I couldn't handle the rejection. Whatever his explanation would be, it wouldn't change the situation and with everything else we had to deal with, I didn't have the strength for more heartbreak too.
-
When Chris left almost an hour later, we had a firm plan in place.
I would try to get out of my lease - or Chris would pay whatever fee I was charged for breaking my contract - and I would move to Massachusetts by the end of the summer to stay with him. I'd argued that point at first, but his reasoning made sense. He would be in and out once they started filming the last two Avengers movies so I would have the place to myself a lot, but when he was home he'd be able to help with the baby. After the first year, when the newborn phase was done, I would get my own place and we'd work out an official custody agreement.
He promised to come to as many doctor's appointments as he could and offered to pay for absolutely everything that I needed. I assured him that wouldn't be necessary, but I appreciated that he was already committed. Many men probably would have run for the hills in our situation or, at the very least, demanded a paternity test before they made any promises, but Chris was enthusiastic and supportive and I couldn't ask for anything more.
Well, I wanted to ask for something more. I wanted us to be together - I wanted us to be making plans to be a family, not to be co-parents - but I knew that wasn't what he wanted and I was determined to accept that. I needed to focus on counting my blessings and being grateful for what I did get out of our relationship instead of focusing on what was missing and unobtainable.
Even if it broke my heart and hurt me more than the loss of any other romantic relationship I'd ever had, I was going to make the most of it for the sake of our child. It didn't ask to be born into such a messy situation and it's safety and security were quickly becoming the most important things in my life despite the fact that it was hardly more than a bundle of cells at that point.
And as that thought hit me, I realized that maybe I wasn't as lacking when it came to maternal instincts as I had thought.
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@maggotzombie @moonlacebeam @mizzzpink @zaylaugh @flowery-mess @flowerjewels @njrronaldo7 @hockeychick10 @partypoison00 @theladybiers @sidepieces @firoozehmoon @patzammit @sparkledfirecracker
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shinygoku · 3 years
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gordon gordon gordon gordon
Gordon Gordon Gordon Gordon!!
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He's been sneaking into these asks by proxy, so it's finally time for his dedicated session, hehe~
First impression
WUAAAGH what's up with this WEIRD LONG NOT-THOMAS and his FACE?!
Impression now
His face is still pretty weird! But you know what else it is? Part of an Absolute Legend ✨
Like, man, Gordon is such a big presence and interesting character, the entire premise leans heavily on him. I'm inclined to go as far as to say that the Blue Boys of 1, 2 and 4 here are the three most important characters for the franchise (not at all to knock everyone else lmao) and they slot nicely into a Triforce of Courage, Wisdom and Power, and Gordon has Power in spades!
Gordon is The Vain One (not James!). He's legit very strong and the fastest on Sodor (which isn't just being a big fish in a small pond because that island has some crazy cool engines!) but unfortunately he lacks humility. His success seems to have been lodged in his head before the series even begins and this Pride is the source of pretty much every single conflict he's involved in.
But when it isn't his self satisfaction in his actions, it's being smug about being such a grand, magnificent Tender Engine and he is snooty as hell about it. He seems to look at smaller engines [pretty much everyone compared to him lol] as a lesser class, particularly if they're small and cheeky and Tank Engines. This may not be the case exactly, but his way of talking to them and some other things he says are very condescending.
However... as much as a gigantic jerk he is at several points, with Gordon I kinda feel like he plain ass doesn't conceive of his words being out of line. That and having to Unlearn things... he's not innately better than everyone else. He sees things in black and white. There are Useful Engines, and those who should be scrapped. There are Noble Tender Engines and Lesser Tank Engines who exist to do the tedious chores on behalf of the Superior ones. Edward doing shunting is seen as Demeaning and contradicts Gordon’s world view that Tender Engines Don't Stunt™, and he doesn't like that one bit! (Also Edward was crossing the picket line but that wasn't Awdry's concern lmao)
Related is Gordon does seem oddly dense at times, like assuming that Tenders are in of themselves a Status Symbol rather than a large lunchbox of sorts lol, or that Tender Engines like him being too heavy for Branch Lines being because something about Branch Lines are degrading. This might be all Elitist Brainwashing influence. But still, that he just takes these as The Truth means I get to affectionately call him an idiot. And there is no other way to explain how he genuinely believes Bill and Ben were going to murder him if he wasn't missing a few brain bolts in there.
Fortunately, he does eventually start to learn the important lessons.... very gradually, but the Early Gordon is a pretty different beast to Later Gordon, and it's wonderful~
Also, I gotta give credit to him for having some moments of utter brilliance and actual grasp of reality and more complex matters, like culture. (Yeah, I'm rolling with his geniune Opera Knowledge from s6 of all things. It's good!) As much as Awdry himself may have disagreed, Gordon was in the right to want a Station Pilot and the Strike was called for (not bullying Edward for it, but myeah) ...but this leads to my next point: He seems to have a mental block when it comes to Emotions.
Certainly, he's as emotional as the others are, it's not just a scale of Snooty, Arrogant, Condescending, Prideful ....well, it is, but ALSO the more mixed and varied feelings: Shame, Sadness, Fear, Ambivilance, Irritation, Anger, Passion, Amused, Delight and so on. However, Gordon is seemingly unaware of how his words may make the others feel, and even at his cruellest it doesn't look like he's aware he's twisting a knife in. To Gordon, he's being honest, but his verbose manner ends up twisting and wriggling away from any valid point like an overgrown vine that somehow links back to how [Other Engine] is disgracing him, Gordon, by association.
Examples include: Being offended by Henry's new shape (??? Gordon dude he nearly died and this is an improvement, a good thing!), saying that Edward's age and difficulty starting a heavy ass packed load of passengers is grounds to be Retired or even Scrapped, other little insulting things like calling the likes of Thomas and James Little insistently (it seems to vary if he's trying to put them down or actually be affectionate), and many more when in the hands of inept writers who have to wheel out the same Gordon Learns A Lesson Plot every other season.
Like I said in the James post, I also think he kinda poisoned the Red guy with his snooty attitude... but I maintain that I think Gordon was unaware of this. He may know he has Influence, and enjoy that, but he really truly doesn't appear to mean to mould James into a smaller, redder version of himself. He's oblivious and from his own point of view, benevolent. Which is in fact a dangerous combo indeed!
It's... a lot o7;;
Again though, if you're looking at the books and s1-s5 of TVS you can see him grow and change. He does take a while to learn the lessons, but as time goes on he moves 2 steps forward and 1 step back, then eventually less steps back entirely. It's great! And so is Gordon. A big dumb meathead with not entirely uncalled for delusions of granduer. A dramatic so-and-so who is the best engine for his job.
I love this sophisticated jock who grows more kindness~ 💙
Favourite moment
Hm! This isn't as easy to decide lol. We all like Gordon Goes Foreign... but you know what sticks in my mind more?
hOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHH
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Look, I’m not 100% objective, here! But Ringo’s read of this line is fantastic (and keeps making me expect him to finish saying OOOHH SHIT) and it’s also a well deserved bolt of divine retribution for how rude he was being earlier. (As long as my essay already was, he very much needed the knocking down of some pegs here!)
Idea for a story
While both my fics with him thus far have been variations of Pre-Canon, Full-Arrogance and Snobbish Gordon (and both were a lot of fun!) ...but I cannot bear the same expired horse being beaten more when the story is set waaay later but he’s still up his own ass. Please, PLEASE writers, let him hold what growth he’s managed to gain!
I think it’d be good to accept that he’s gonna be outdated sooner or later, so have him help train another High Speed Engine and take them under his wing. The Christopher Awdry books kinda have something similar with Pip and Emma, but I think a better way of having Gordon be involved would be if he was actively doing some mentoring himself, as well as being a neat parallel with Edward, whose type was once Express only but got outclassed by A1s, and so the same can happen to this big A1 -> A3 lad and he can form a healthy relationship with some bright eyed newbie (and maybe have some self awareness and try to stop their head getting too large, lol).
Unpopular opinion
I know I just said him mentoring would be a cool story idea, but in canon? He is NOT a resident Dad type!! He’s a hotshot young man but he’s also a hot mess. He’s physically large but he’s not got the Energy of someone who dispenses sage advice and a shoulder to cry on. At best, he’s a weird uncle! One who means well but you shouldn’t take his life advice to heart because he’s actually just as, if not more clueless than you!
Favourite relationship
I feel inclined to say Thomas here. Emphatically not because Gordon is ‘old’ and Thomas is ‘young’, but because they’re so damn alike and actually make an excellent, albeit unconventional type of Rivalry.
Both are self important with genuine finesse in their respective talents, both are honest to a fault, both have redeeming qualities to offset their initial abrasiveness, and the first TVS episode is centred on the both of them and sets the tone for the series as a whole. There’s more parallels, of course, but I also wanna point out they’re effectively the mascots of North Western Rail in universe too, and I absolutely love this picture:
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I also have immense fondness for the Down the Mine paradigm shift! Thomas gives Gordon grief over the ditch incident and later when it emerges the Fat Controller is gonna send for Gordon to pull him out, Thomas is filled with dread. But Gordon isn’t using the chance to lord over Thomas, he’s actually so amused by Thomas’ mishap and it coming at a time where he’s been significantly humbled, they instead become Comrades and I love it. I eat it up! Paint Pots and Queens isn’t anywhere near as good but I adore the little bit where they’re appealing for the other, equals and watching each other’s back~
But yeah, as Friendly Rivals they both feel very authentic and yet, in a daft way, sweet ;3
Favourite headcanon
He still says “Hurry, hurry, hurry!” when pulling the Express. That’s a HC as I think the show phased it out, but I like it lol. I feel like my essay on him contains most of the headcanon stuff, but it’s all based on what’s shown, baybee!
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