#I feel bad that I wasn’t in the trenches with y’all

[witcher-inspiration]

I’ve not been able to watch the second half of season 3 bc I know I would have no self control and I needed to wrap up my thesis but I’m very close and I’ll be back with my unhinged takes and regular blogging next week!!!

[formulawolff]

x. bringing the heat in miami - t.w.

pairing: female driver! x toto wolff

word count: 3.6k

warnings: cursing, mentions of sex, mentions of masturbation, lewd humor, age gap relationship, ANGST, naughty text messages, banter, light flirting, toto being down astronomically bad (like actually in the trenches) yadayadayada

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party in the city where the heat is on 

all night, on the beach till the break of dawn

“welcome to miami”

“bienvenidos a miami"

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will smith’s infamous track fills your ears as you stroll in through the main gate of the track, fans clustered in thick waves. your name is called more times than you can count. posters, caps, shirts, you name it, wave about, begging to be signed. 

the sun shines overhead, casting bright, fiery light all around. although it was only around eight in the morning, humidity clung to the air, creating a sticky, dewy sensation on your exposed skin. fluffy clouds drift along, carried by a breeze as it rolls through. 

god, the weather was perfect.

hopefully it would be like this on race day.

“welcome to miamiiii,” alex bobs his head, singing along to the music, “are you excited? it is your home turf, after all.”

“if we were in phoenix, i think i would feel a little closer to home,” you suppress a giggle, “but yes, i am really fucking excited. everyone loves a race in their home country.”

“we’ll be in austin soon enough in october,,” alex shrugs, “when we’re in austin, i need you to show me how to ride a bull and teach me how to perfect that smooth texas drawl. i want to be like one of those little aunties who always say, ‘y’all come back now!’ like dolly parton! ” 

“you’re ridiculous,” the giggles blossom into a full-on laugh, “you don’t just start speaking with a southern accent. that’s not how that works.”

“sure it is,” alex nods, “hey, your parents are coming out for the race, right?”

“yes sir! they will finally get to see their baby girl in action!”

“they didn’t come out for a single grand prix last year?” alex raises a brow.

“i wasn’t winning races last year,” you counter, “i told them not to worry about spending that money during my rookie year. not everyone’s parents are loaded, you know.”

which, was a true statement. 

your parents had invested their time, hard-earned cash, weekends off, and a portion of their lives to get you here. you didn’t expect them to fly out for every single grand prix, make every event, or pay another dime towards your expenses. 

unlike many of the drivers, you were not born into an extremely lavish lifestyle. your parents were modest people, who happened to have a child later in life. ever since you were born, they lived in the same house, drove the same vehicles, and got by adequately. since they both worked full-time, getting you into the racing world was no simple feat. 

yet, they were determined to make your dreams become a reality. after years of careful coordination to the karting tracks, weekends devoted to races, and thousands upon thousands of dollars spent, you were offered a contract with williams racing. of course, you accepted that offer graciously. 

now, you were steadily paying your parents back for their dedication. once you signed your contract and those zeroes hit your bank account, you went out to the nearest dealership, purchasing a suburu wrx. with the premium package, at that. 

you would never forget your dad’s face the moment you pulled into the driveway, beaming as you placed the keys in his hand. 

that was one of the only moments you had ever watched him cry, wrapping you up in a tight, loving embrace.

“you didn’t have to do this. being your father is a gift in itself.”

“but you deserve it. you’ve sacrificed so much so that i could be in this position.”

“and you deserve nothing but the best, baby girl. you are going to be one of the greatest drivers formula one has ever seen. you make us so proud. keep making us proud. keep defying those odds. keep making history, baby girl.”

keep making history, baby girl.

as you stroll into the paddock, greeting the engineers, pit crew, and other team members, you can’t shake that feeling brewing deep within. 

it’s is a fiery desire, setting you ablaze with determination. 

you were going to keep making history. 

you were going to be the first american to win the miami grand prix. 

you were going to be the first woman to win two consecutive grand prixes. 

you were going to be the first woman to earn that title of world champion. 

you were going to chase that high. by any means possible. 

and nothing was going to stop you now. 

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“look at him,” lewis hamilton shakes his head, “he looks absolutely pitiful.”

“you think his little relationship is on the rocks?” 

“quite the contrary mate,” lewis remarks, folding his arms across his chest, “i think it’s more like the poor man is depraved. obviously the euphoria has worn off. he’s come down from that high. the man is craving more. plain and simple. a hand can only do–”

“i don’t need the mental image of my team principal wanking off,” george russell scoffs, rubbing his temple, “fuck, that is disgusting, lewis.”

toto wolff stood a few meters away from the drivers, engaged in deep conversation with bono and members of the crew. now that lewis knew the truth, he couldn’t help but notice how much power that american girl held over the team principal. it was almost as if he were deep in a trance, under some sort of spell. 

it was pitiful, really. just the sight of her was enough to send the team principal spiraling, intoxicated off her alluring aura. not like lewis could blame toto, though. there was no denying that the woman was extremely breathtaking. 

with her stunning features, witty mouth, unapologetic personality, and angelic presence, she was practically miss america.

well, not practically. 

she was miss america.  

everyone adored her. lewis could barely go throughout his morning without hearing her name being mentioned. whether it was fans, journalists, social media, even members of the mercedes crew, she was the hot topic of formula one, taking the world by storm.

toto was a lucky man. an extremely lucky man. 

if only she was into men her age. 

“my apologies mate,” lewis nudges george with his elbow playfully, “did we have anything going on today? any obligations?”

george’s brow furrow, sunglasses perched on the bridge of his nose, “if we’re being honest, i can’t really remember. i think something to do with monster energy, maybe.”

“perfect,” lewis licks his lower lip, fishing his phone out of his pocket. 

time to text that little assistant. 

in all seriousness, he felt horrible for taking advantage of that young girl. she was only nineteen for fuck’s sakes, a fresh face to mercedes at the start of the 2024 season. that made her the perfect target to do his bidding. 

well, it wasn’t really bidding. 

more like investigative journalism. 

at least, that’s what lewis told himself to feel a little less guilty for what he was about to do. 

hey, do you by chance know toto’s schedule today?

seconds later, little text bubbles appear. 

he was meeting with you guys this morning, then he has an interview with the press around two-thirty p.m. it’s nothing super serious, just a brief session entailing his thoughts for the weekend. at four, he has a zoom call with a few of the mercedes execs. after that, he told me he was going to be out for the remainder of the evening. why? 

hmmm. how convenient. 

i was just curious. thanks for letting me know! i appreciate you, natila. 

of course, mr. hamilton! let me know if you need anything else! :))) 

it was now or never. go time.

after the meeting with the mercedes executives, lewis hamilton was going to knock on toto wolff’s door. he was going to stroll into that office, settling into one of those plush leather chairs. and before toto had the opportunity to speak, lewis was going to confront him about that american girl. 

how he was going to start that conversation, he had no idea. that would come to him in time as he went about his day, meeting with sponsors, flashing that lovely lewis smile, flirting with the reporters just a little. not too much so that it was obvious, but enough to make them blush a tad, giggling as they scrambled to stick to their script. 

but for now, it was time to focus on the matters at hand. 

across the track, a dutch driver strolls through the crowds, a jersey in one hand, phone in the other. glancing down at his screen, he curses under his breath at the throng of people. why were there so many people? where did they all come from? 

pausing for a moment, he taps his screen, thumb gliding through his contacts. 

“hey, where are you again?”

“we’re in the williams paddock!” her voice is an octave higher than usual, more than likely from anticipation, “we’ll see you soon!”

“sounds good,” max verstappen stifles a chuckle as he hears a voice on the other end, the words firm, demanding almost.  

“honey, who are you talking to? who’s coming over here?” 

“mom, please, just let me be on the phone for two seconds,” she exhales, “okay, i have to go. i’ll see you soon!” 

the walk to the williams paddock was excruciating, as max had to bob and weave through the masses to avoid reporters, potential sponsors, and any individual who called his name. it’s not like he didn’t like the fame that came with his success, it’s just that he didn’t like the constant cameras in his face. the prying questions. the intrusive comments. 

sometimes he wished he could just blend in, be like any other face in the crowd. yet, how could he when he was max verstappen? 

yet, as he steps into the paddock, he makes out the williams driver, her parents hovering around her as she introduces them to various members of the crew. at the sight, max can’t help but feel the corners of his lips curl into a smile as he notices the sheer and utter pride plastered across their faces. 

and they had every right to be proud of you. 

you earned it. 

“goedemorgen,” max clears his throat, raising his hand for a small wave, “i just came to stop by.”

the instant your mom realizes who is standing before her in the paddock, her eyes widen, lips parting, “oh my gosh – honey. look who it is!” 

“good morning max,” your laughter rings like bells as you cross over to the dutch driver, “how are you?”

“pretty good,” he nods, sticking out his right hand, “hallo, i’m max.”

your dad shakes his hand, squeezing it firmly, “nice to meet ya, max. i’m tony. this is my wife, heather.”

“pleased to meet you,” max beams, turning to your mom, “i brought something for you today. your daughter mentioned that you were a big fan of mine. so, i brought this jersey for you. she let me know your shirt size, so it should fit perfectly. my signature is on there somewhere, but i just can’t quite remember where.”

graciously, heather accepts the jersey, her eyes glossy, shifting to you as she wipes a tear, “oh, honey, you planned this?”

“of course i did,” wrapping an arm around her shoulders, you pull her in for a hug, “i couldn’t bear the thought of you guys attending the race without meeting any of my friends. besides, you deserve an all-inclusive experience at your first grand prix.”

“besides,” max shoots you a wink, “i wanted to meet the woman who crafted such a talented driver.”

at max’s compliment, your mom’s face flushes, “oh please! i can barely make it on the freeway without having a nervous breakdown. i don’t know how she can drive these things. it amazes me how confident she is and–.”

“i could show you,” max offers, “i have some free time tomorrow. i’m sure we could all meet up somewhere and i could take you for a spin, show you the ropes. how does that sound?”

“oh max,” your mom waves a hand, “you do not–”

“but i want to. it’s no issue. no issue at all.” 

“then it’s a plan,” you can’t help but grin as your moms’ eyes light up, “what time works for you, max? since it’s only thursday, we’ll have some time in the morning before the practice laps. or, we could go after. whatever works for you.”

“let’s go in the morning,” max suggests, checking his phone, “i think i can make a few calls. have someone bring in a car. we’ll take it out on the track.”

“is that allowed?” your mom arches a brow, “i just don’t want you two to get in any sort of trouble. 

“oh mom,” you roll your eyes playfully, gesturing to max, “that is max verstappen. whatever max verstappen wants, max verstappen gets.”

“she’s not wrong.”

“okay fine,” your mom nods, and you feel a giggle forming at her overprotective nature. 

“just don’t give me a heart attack out there, max. i have a very important race to watch on sunday.”

as your parents talk to max, alex making his way into the conversation, you feel the buzz of your phone in your pocket. carefully, you fish it out, ensuring to shield your screen from your mom’s wandering gaze. 

this is unbearable. i need to see you tonight. are you going to have any free time? i vaguely recall you mentioning that your parents were going to be here. i will take no offense if you would like to spend time with them. i know you do not get to see them often. 

i need to be inside you, schatzi. i can’t think straight right now because the only thing i can think about is fucking that perfect pussy of yours. 

i miss my golden girl. more than anything. 

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“lewis? this is a pleasant surprise.”

“how’s it going mate?” lewis hamilton bears a quaint smile as he settles into a chair, face-to-face with the team principal, “things going well?”

“eh,” toto shrugs, his head bowed as he types away on his phone, “same old shit, you know.” 

“things going well with the horseback rider?”

oh, so he wasn’t going to drop it. silently, toto curses the attentive nature of his british driver, “they’re fine.”

“so,” lewis leans back, folding his arms across his chest, “when were you going to fess up and admit that your little girlfriend doesn’t ride horses?”

“i don’t understand what you–”

lewis scoffs, clicking his tongue, “i know exactly who your little girlfriend is because she’s a few spaces ahead of me on the grid.”

shit.

the expression painting lewis’ features is brimmed with satisfaction, his gaze piercing right through the team principal as he shifts uneasily in his desk chair, running a hand through his hair. 

toto was well aware that lewis had completely blindsided him, pinning him in a corner. it was quite literally perfect timing, as the team principal was merely minutes away from organizing his things, shutting down his computer, and heading out the door, well on his way to his golden girl. 

well played, lewis. well played. 

yet, he had to maintain his composure. he had to maintain that poker face as lewis cocks his head, prompting him to formulate some sort of witty retort. 

“i’m not sure what you’re talking about.”

“bullshit,” lewis shakes his head, “you’re not a very good liar, toto. you of all people should know that i can read you like a bloody book. how long has this been going on?”

well, he had to fess up now. lewis would continue to call him out on his shit if he kept up with the lies. letting out a shaky breath, the team principal hangs his head in defeat, his heart thumping against his rib-cage, wiping his damp palms on his slacks.

no going back now. time to come clean. 

“since she won in jeddah. but if we’re being technical, it started in bahrain.”

“wait,” lewis sticks his hands up, squeezing his eyes shut, “pause. this has been going on since the start of the season? for weeks you’ve been sneaking around, meeting up with her in secret or something? was she the one who came to brackley between melbourne and suzuka?”

with all of the questions pouring from lewis’ mouth, toto’s mind reeled, a swirling torrent of anxiety, fear, and disappointment. his cheeks burn with shame, tinged pink. 

“yes, she was.”

tilting his head, lewis’ lips purse, “you like her?”

“well isn’t that blatantly fucking obvious,” propping his elbows on the desk, he massages his temples with his fingers, “how did you find out?”

“it wasn’t hard,” lewis shrugs, “i mean, i see the way you look at her.” 

toto’s eyes narrow at lewis’ vague response, “how. did. you. find. out?”

“natila texted me about it,” lewis coughs, averting the team principal’s beady stare, “she may have heard a conversation or two.” 

“regarding?” toto presses, satisfaction pumping in his veins as lewis starts to crack, shifting in the chair, “come on, lewis. you can’t just march in here and demand answers from me without sharing your sources. what did natila hear?”

“she heard the entire conversation you had with the drive to survive crew while we were in suzuka. they mentioned that they had footage of you walking over to her motorhome. that’s all natila heard. don’t fire the poor girl,” the words were rushed, breathy, “it was my fault. i asked her what she heard. i told her i would pay her if she told me what she knew.”

“well,” toto blinks, swallowing thickly, “did you end up paying her?”

“only like five thousand.”

“that’s quite a large sum over something you could have just asked me about personally,” clasping his hands together, toto raises a brow, “why didn’t you just come to me instead?”

“because you got so fucking defensive the first time i asked about it!” 

lewis did have a point. 

a good point, at that.

it was not like the team principal would have withheld information regarding his developing relationship with the williams driver. it was more like he feared what would ensue if he did share what had transpired. he trusted lewis, he really did. additionally, it wasn’t like this was just some average woman. his career, her future, and so much more were at stake. the benefits of keeping it all under wraps greatly outweighed the risk of discovery. 

more importantly, he was protective of his golden girl. 

she was his little escape from it all. a breath of fresh air after excruciatingly long nights in the paddock or disappointing days on the track. she was his sun, shining her vivid, warm, golden rays into his dreary and dull life. 

sure, toto was a billionaire. but money was not everything. 

nearly every day, toto’s mind wandered to their time spent together in brackley. the way she felt against his skin. the way her shy smile was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. the way her fingers felt intertwined with his. the way her lashes fluttered as she slept, lips parted ever so slightly. the way his hands roamed her curves, relishing the softness of her. 

that memory alone was worth far more than the number of zeroes in his bank account. 

“you’re falling in love, aren’t you?”

lewis’ voice is low, dangerously quiet. yet, there’s a curious glint in his eyes, the bitterness and anger no longer present. his body language is more relaxed, legs crossed, the driver fiddling with his thumbs. 

“i –” toto stutters, scrambling to find the right words, “yes, i am.”

“does she know?” 

“no,” he inhales sharply, “she doesn’t.”

“you want to tell her though, don’t you?”

“it would just feel rushed,” the team principal dismisses lewis’ inquiry, his voice hardening, “i have to be realistic here. no one falls in love that quickly. that’s just petulant.”

“well look at it this way,” lewis offers, “if you’ve had your eye on her for some time, then it’s really not that rushed. clearly, if you’re feeling those emotions so deeply, then it’s accumulated over time. i don’t want to pry, but how long have you been attracted to her?”

“you don’t want to know,” a chuckle rumbles in the team principal’s chest, “it’s embarrassing, really.”

“no, no, no,” lewis tuts, “tell me, toto. how long?”

“december 2022, when she signed her contract with williams. when i saw that photo of her, i knew i had to have her. last summer, in monaco, i may have slipped up and approached her at the afterparty. i flirted with her, but she dismissed me. so, i kept my distance. however, it was just growing harder and harder to stay away. it was impulsive, that night in bahrain. but i wanted to make a move before anyone else got to her.”

as toto finishes, he can’t help but notice lewis’ smirk, “holy shit, toto. you’ve been wrapped around her finger for quite some time then, yeah?”

“i wouldn’t say that–” toto begins, clicking his tongue, yet, he’s swiftly cut off as a new figure cracks open the door. 

george russell leans against the doorframe, arms folded across his chest. his lips are pressed together, forming a tightly wound frown. 

“way to include me in the gossip session, guys. what did i miss? clearly, quite a lot. if you don’t mind, i would like to join the conversation. toto, would you start from the top? even though i’ve already heard most of it, when were you going to bring it to my attention that you were fucking that bloody williams driver?”

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taglist: @younxii @toldyouitwasamelodrama @kravitzwhore @persona1lies @pucksandpower @k3ira13 @prettiest-at-the-party @martwll @annewithaneofthegreengable @zoeyjadetice2010  @sinners-98-world @laura-naruto-fan1998 @nebarious @joalslibrary @swifth0lic

as always, if i forgot to include you, please let me know! thank you all for the continuous support! i love y'all sm!! <33

[xo-zizi]

Do y’all actually feel bad for Alicia? Because call me a bitch but I don’t?? I recognize the similarities to season 3 and Vegas of course. Spencer jumping into a relationship without moving on or settling because he can’t have Olivia. Like I get it. Bad Spencer. But who we tryna fool this is not exactly like season 3. Spencer was honest with Alicia when he told her he wasn’t ready. And then when he decided to call her back and say he was he didn’t say he moved on. He still hasn’t said my feelings for Olivia aren’t there. That man said he needs to TRY to move on to the next step because Olivia has and MAYBE he can be happy to. Idk if y’all heard the same thing Alicia heard but all EYE heard is a bunch of “try” and “maybe”s. He’s going into it HOPING he moves on because in his mind him and Liv are done fr fr. HE TOLD HER THAT. This is very very different to season 3 and Layla because Layla wasn’t even remotely aware that there was anything to move on from. He made Layla a promise that he would wait for her until she’s ready no matter how long. And then got back together with her not only because of the promise but because Olivia rejected him and lied that it was because he wanted to get back together when he didn’t. THAT was fucked up. With the Alicia situation he’s being as honest as he can be imo. It only seems really terrible because us as viewers we know that Olivia is still in love with Spencer and wants to be with him. But he said out his own mouth they’re not getting back together because he still thinks she isn’t happy with him. He gotta move on eventually. Could he have been single longer? Yeah I guess but this is a show and we on a time crunch so. Plus he ain’t ever getting over Liv so he can’t be single forever. The important thing now is the ball is in Olivia’s court so she can save us from this torment. Don’t lose focus and keep your mind on the trenches we in right now. There’s light at the end of the tunnel people. TIGHTEN UP

[broadwayloserstuff]

Jason Dean x Female! Reader Smut

So, y’all this is the third fic I’ve written today and I’m close to tears because people actually are liking my posts and I never feel this appreciated??? Like, y’all are amazing. Anyways, uh yeah I got a request for Jason Dean. Love the man tbh. It was never specified for what gender the reader is but I only have experience with AFAB anatomy. If the anon requester wanted a male reader, just send me an ask for a male reader and I’ll write it! So yeah this contains smut prompt 30 btw. WARNINGS: Smut, swearing, mentions of a gun and murder, and female reader being on the pill. So pretty much the usual JD shit. I’m pretty sure that’s it. As usual, if I missed something, feel free to let me know! MINORS DON’T INTERACT! JD looked down at the (your hair color) haired girl on his chest. Her (your eye color) eyes were focused on the movie that was playing. JD, however, could care less about the movie. After all, you could watch it as many times as you wanted. He was focused on her beauty. Y/N’s perfect lips were soft as velvet and he knew every part of her was absolute perfection. Anyone who thought otherwise met the business end of his gun. “Hey, darling,” he called. Y/N looked up into his dark brown eyes. “Hm?” she questioned. JD gave her his signature lopsided smile, “You’re so beautiful, my love.” Y/N lightly blushed. She may have gotten used to he boyfriend’s flirtatious manner but he still managed to fluster her.  Y/N had gotten used to a lot of her boyfriend’s habits over the last several months. She was no stranger to his bizarre hobby of murdering the horrible teens and college kids in Westerburg. She knew all about him murdering Heather Chandler, Kurt Kelly, and Ram Sweeney. Lately, he had killed a college sophomore who had actively preyed on high school freshman girls. JD often made good points on why he had killed his victims. Y/N, while she didn’t support it, still loved him.  She had also adjusted to JD’s clinginess. The man always had a hand on her waist or around her shoulder. He was afraid she’d up and leave him, just like his mother had done to him. Despite the late night phone calls where Y/N would constantly reassure JD that she would never leave him, he still refused to believe it. JD had moved Y/N so she now sat in his lap, her back against his chest as he peppered sweet kisses up and down her neck. Occasionally, he’d nibble at a spot then smirk as he felt Y/N tense up or her breathing begin to hitch. The both of them knew what he was trying to do and they both knew Y/N would give into him.  After a few more minutes of the movie, Y/N reached for the remote and shut the TV off. She let JD do what he wanted. After all, he was good in bed and Y/N knew damn well she wouldn’t be able to walk after tonight. She felt JD smirk against her neck as he sucked a hickey into her skin. Y/N sighed in pleasure and turned to meet his lips. As usual, his lips tasted like smoke and cigarettes. He bit her bottom lip, asking for entrance. Y/N playfully denied, wanting to tease him. JD didn’t seem to worry about this, however, because within a second he had shrugged out of his trench coat and t-shirt. Y/N took a moment to look at him. While he wasn’t ripped by any means, he definitely had some muscle but his lanky exterior suited his personality perfectly. Their lips met again, JD flipping them so he was on top. He pulled off the shirt Y/N wore and went back down on her, sucking even more hickeys and love bites into her skin, marking her as his.  All the while, Y/N ran her fingers through his raven black hair. She occasionally tugged at his hair, emitting a growl from JD. One hand held her neck while the other rested on Y/N’s waist. After a few minutes, JD pulled back and quickly examined his flustered girlfriend. He seemed to decide she was marked up enough at the moment and quickly got busy. JD yanked down the leggings Y/N wore and her panties in one swift move, tossing her bottoms off to the side. JD had seemingly decided to leave Y/N’s bra on, he liked her without her bra but in the moment, he had decided to leave it on.  He chuckled at her wetness, “All for me, doll? I’m honored.” Y/N bit her lip, trying to contain a beg. JD seemed to sense this and suddenly thrusted two fingers inside. Y/N let out a moan. “God, JD!” she cried. His free hand rubbed her clit slowly. After a few minutes, Y/N’s moans had gotten louder and she had began to beg. “P-please go faster, Jason,” she whined. He smirked at how bad she wanted him now. JD scissored his fingers and Y/N quickly reached her orgasm. JD let her ride out her high before pulling his fingers out and licking them, all while maintaining eye contact. He quickly yanked down his gray sweatpants and boxers. “You on the pill?” he quickly asked. Y/N hastily nodded and moaned as JD pushed himself in. JD let out a groan himself, “Fuck, always so tight, Y/N.” She only whined at his words as she adjusted to his size. JD pressed a kiss to her forehead as she said, “You can start moving now.” And boy did he. JD quickly picked up his pace and Y/N was screaming in no time. “JD, Jason, holy fuck!” JD picked up one of her legs and put it over his shoulder. By now, Y/N couldn’t even form coherent sentences. All she could manage were moans and broken words. She started clenching around JD’s dick and he leaned down, his head knocking against hers.  “Tell me you love me,” he ordered between pants. Y/N looked at him. “I love you, JD. I love you so much.”  With that, JD came and so did Y/N. The couple laid there for a few minutes, catching their breath. JD pulled out and yanked on his boxers and Y/N sleepily pulled on her panties. The couple curled up beneath a blanket, JD’s arms wrapped around Y/N’s waist.  Before Y/N fell asleep, JD kissed the top of her head and mumbled, “Don’t forget that you belong to me.” She sleepily replied, “Mm hmm.” JD seemed content with that and made himself comfortable and the couple slowly drifted off to dreamland.

[velveticamoon]

‘LIMERENCE IN IT’S PUREST FORM’

DAZAI OSAMU X FEM! READER

— dazai finally takes off his bandages, but with that his insecurities seem to be bubbling up to the surface, scared that his s/o’s love for him may waver because of the imprints of his past upon his skin. 

WARNINGS: angst (but turns into fluff??), mentions of suicide attempts (it’s dazai folks c’mon-), self-harm mentions, implied sex, profanity

[lowercase intended] 

A/N: was this fic my way of professing my love for dazai? yes no ofc not. this gets so painstakingly soft at the end even i’m not sure how tf that happened but hope y’all enjoy nonetheless (feedback and reblogs are appreciated!! have a lovely day folks)

“are you sure about this?” you asked as you held his hand gently in the palm of your hand, the two of you sat cross-legged in front of each other on your bed. he sat with his clothes off, shirt discarded somewhere along the floor of the bedroom, his trench coat neatly hung across the back of your desk chair. he looked calm, despite the storm that you knew was brewing within his mind.

he slightly chuckled, his eyes closed for a split second before reopening, allowing you the chance to bask in the pools of brown that were being illuminated by the moonlight filtered through the window, casting a shadow over his form in an ethereal manner. how he always managed to look beautiful, no matter what it may be that he was doing at that moment? you’ll never know, but you’d never pass up the opportunity to bask within his beauty.

“if i wasn’t sure, i wouldn’t be sitting here in front of you like this right now, belladonna,” he said, in a hushed manner, not wanting to break the atmosphere around the two of you. he flipped his hand that was facing upwards, gently intertwining your fingers as though he was trying to calm you down. but you knew he wasn’t trying to calm just you down, for the slight shake in his fingers gave him away despite his smile-graced face.

you sighed, shutting your eyes gently for a second, giving his hand a light squeeze before reopening them to look at him.

“it’s ok to be scared, you know?” you said, watching his expression morph from one of calm to surprise, to genuine relief. if there was someone he was willing to let his guard down with, even if it was merely one of the many walls he’s caged himself in that surrounded him in an everlasting maze; it might as well be you.

“i’m fine love, but the longer you linger on this feeble task, the more i’ll be tempted to just rip them off myself~,” he said in a teasing manner. when in reality he knew that if that was the case, he’d most definitely shrink back within himself, too scared to let you know what truly lies beneath the shield of his bandages.

he just didn’t want you to abandon him, for he believed that someone as ugly as him didn’t deserve to be cradled so gently within the innocence of your touch.

“i just don’t want you to feel uncomfortable, i just.. i want you to feel safe with me,” you said, eyes looking straight into his, and he saw all the unadulterated love you were pouring into his being with merely your gaze, and he almost let his breath hitch because of how overwhelmingly in love he was with you, almost.

“i want you to do it, i trust you,” he said, his voice dripping with a sense of honesty you’d never heard spilled from his lips. that small reassurance was enough for you to finally grip the ends of the everlasting bandages layered over his skin, finally tugging at the bit that would begin the anticipated unraveling of the truth that lay on his skin.

this time, his breath did hitch, your ears caught onto it, and your eyes snapped up to meet his eyes immediately. “do you want me to stop?” you asked, concern laced within your voice, and that alone made his heart melt, the initial shock of the action fading away.

he brought his hand up to stroke your cheek with his thumb, the warmth from your skin sinking into his cool hands, a soft smile tugged at his lips.

“no, i want you to keep going,” he said, and so you did.

you slowly unraveled the rest of the slightly worn-out white bandages, to the point where the pull of gravity finished the job for you. you began gently pulling away the bandages and toss them to the side, only to look back and freeze.

scars upon scars littered his pale skin; some varying in sizes, some faded, but others still fresh. but in the end, the ones that broke your heart the most were the ones engrained on his wrists, indicating that the pain had been inflicted upon him by his own hand.

your lips parted, eyes wide, the shock was ever-so evident on your face. your fingers ghosted over his skin, as though you were afraid to touch him, which in a way, you were. not because you were disgusted, but the thought of you hurting him caused you to refrain from doing so.

dazai stayed silent while watching your movements, calculating his next movements to help stimulate you but to still manage to maintain his facade, but all his thoughts got cut off as he felt you pull him into your embrace.

“i-i’m so sorry, osa, none of- fuck- none of this should’ve happened to you,” you said. dazai could only stay silent as you held him.

dazai’s mind went blank, and he could do nothing but relish in the feeling of your arms around his being, actually getting to feel you without the bandages acting as a barrier between the two of your bodies.

“something as ugly as this shouldn’t have had to even be near your skin,” you said, but despite the sentiment that dazai knew you meant with the words, he couldn’t help the feeling of them rubbing him in the wrong way.

but he didn’t say anything, he just wrapped his arms around you too, and leaned his head atop yours, closing his eyes.

‘she thinks i’m ugly..’ the thought kept running through his head, no matter how much he tried to push it away. dazai had always been one to never let his insecurities show on the surface, but this was one of those moments where he felt as though he couldn’t possibly get more vulnerable than he already was. eventually, the thought had gnawed at him enough, and he couldn’t take it anymore.

with a sigh, he pulls away from the hug and asks “do you want me to put the bandages back on?”

you look at him confused, “does something hurt? if that’s the case, then go for it. otherwise, why?”

he shrugs, averting his gaze towards the blanket that laid beneath the two of you, and says, “i don’t know, i figured because you said that you don’t think they’re beautiful.. you didn’t want to look at them anymore.”

your heart shattered, and you couldn’t help but look at him in disbelief.

“excuse me?” you asked in an exasperated tone, you genuinely couldn’t understand where that thought came from and felt guilt pool in your chest when you realized.

‘he thinks i don’t wanna look at him anymore.. because of his scars..?’

your features immediately softened, and with the way you gazed at him with tears in your eyes, one could only describe your expression as heartbroken.

you cupped his cheek with the palm of your hand and turned his face to look at you, but his eyes remained averted.

you sighed, “osamu, look at me.” you said, voice gentle but held a sternness to it that he knew he’d be an idiot to refuse to comply with.

“what in the fucking universe gave you that idea?” you said, his eyes slightly widened, lips barely parted at the way your voice shifted.

but the thing that shocked him the most was the pure determination that was spread across your features. you gazed at him with such sincerity that he felt utterly enamored by it, almost getting lost in your eyes if it weren’t for your voice bringing him back.

“your scars, although yes, i don’t think they’re beautiful, i’d never want you to hide them from me. the only reason i don’t think of them as beautiful is because of the amount of pain i can only imagine that came with them. and it's ironic, considering i know how much you hate pain.. yet you’ve had to endure so much of it,” you let out with a bitter chuckle. “it doesn’t mean i would try to turn a blind eye and move on, as though they were never there in the first place.” you paused, forcing your throat to not close up on you as you spoke, trying your damn hardest to keep your tears at bay, to stay strong, all for him. you knew that that’s what he needed the most right now, and that became all the more prominent when you noticed the tears beginning to prick at his eyes as well.

you shut your eyes and took in a deep breath, trying to recollect your thoughts, before looking back into his eyes.

“when i told you i loved you, i meant it. every word,” you said, and his breath hitched at your words, but that didn’t stop you, no.

for nothing could stop the way your heart beats for the man in front of you. no matter how ugly the scars may be that were permanently ingrained in his skin, that wouldn’t cause you to lose sight of the true beauty that lies within his soul.

“when i told you that i love you.. i made a promise to myself. to love and cherish every part of you, the good and the bad, the quirks and the flaws, the beauty, and the pain. i promised to love all of you.. even the parts you’ve come to hate yourself.” you said slowly, with a bittersweet smile lining your features, dazai could do nothing but stare at you as you spoke your heart out to him.

“..why?” was the only word he could croak out. he internally loathed how weak and feeble he sounded in that moment, how he didn’t want it to show how much of an effect you had on him with just your mere words, but that was something that he knew he’d never be able to hide. everyone in the world knew that if there was one thing dazai would never lie about, it was his love for you.

you smiled softly, and brought your other hand up to brush the messy tuft of hair atop his head back behind his ears, and leaned your forehead against his, the one that was resting against his cheek reaching down and grabbing his hand with yours and holding it against your heart. dazai’s heart fluttered at how earnest you looked in that moment.

“because.. it’s you. it doesn’t matter to me which part of you it may be.. in the end, it’s still you, and that’s all that matters to me.” you said, and he immediately connected your lips with his, as though with the simple action he was going to be able to pour all the words he wanted to say to you at that moment into your heart and mind.

and it did. it always did.

when it came to the way he kissed you, you could always tell the meaning behind each one.

the playful kisses from when he’s running away from kunikida, always coming in the form of quick and rushed pecks, only for him to continue running right after.

tender kisses to your forehead when the two of you are in the comfort of your home where you both know that no one’s watching, the kind that makes your heart flutter in the best way.

the kisses that occur when he’s managed to come back from a dangerous mission, all in one piece and he always makes sure to come back and give you a lingering kiss, to reassure you, and him, that you’re both still there and alive.

and the soft and delicate kisses to your cheeks for when he’s feeling particularly nostalgic. whether he’s reminded of something from his past, or on the days where the remembrance of his dear friend oda becomes too much to handle.

you always knew the meaning behind dazai’s kisses, and at that moment you knew that the kiss you two shared was a symbol of both of your love being poured into one another’s souls.

the two of you parted, your foreheads resting back against each other’s, breathing slightly heavy from the kiss, but that didn’t stop dazai from murmuring the words ‘i love you’ against your lips.

and he meant it, because why lie about the one thing you’ve never been more sure about in your entire life? even if he felt as though he never deserved it in the first place.

you smiled, and he’d forever feel entranced by the way the moon now cast its glow along the features he’d always found himself to be completely infatuated with. the way your hair graced and complimented your entire being only added to that infatuation.

“i love you too, my beautiful prince.” your lips captured his once again. “let me show you just how much,” you murmured against his lips as you started to gently push him back towards the bed, trailing gentle kisses along anywhere your lips could reach.

and dazai knew, no matter how many times the world may lie to him, that if there was one thing he could always believe in, it was the love the two of you shared, for it was more than love.

»»————　　————««

dazai let his thoughts wander as the two of you laid next to each other, basking in the feeling of your naked bodies tangled up within the sheets, and he watched as you littered gentle kisses along his wrists, kissing each of his scars that your lips could reach.

his heart swirled in a sensation that he could only describe as peace. _no, _it felt like more than that.

“hey, y/n..” he quietly called out. you stopped your actions, humming in response and tilting your head up to face his, which was now staring at the ceiling of your bedroom.

“what’s a word that might describe the way i’m feeling right now?” he asked, you scooted up the bed, raising yourself onto your elbow to begin playing with his hair.

“i don’t know osa, you’re the only one that can answer that,” you said, and he hummed, shutting his eyes and reveling in the feeling of you toying with his hair. “if you want to know, there might be a word to describe how i’m feeling though?” you suggested, and he fluttered his eyelids open to look at you.

“of course, belladonna, what are you feeling?” he asked, a soft smile gracing his features.

“limerence,” you said, and he tilted his head in a questioning manner, not understanding the meaning since the word you had spoken was in english. you lightly chuckled, and said, “it’s an english word, meaning ‘to be infatuated or obsessed with another person,’ and i think it’s pretty fitting, don’t you?”

he smiled even brighter at you and pulled you closer to his body so that you were now laying on his chest.

“limerence, that's this moment.. in its purest form, no? that’s what i feel, at least,” he said, and you hummed in agreement, that’s all you felt in that moment while resting in his arms.

how beautiful is it that someone could make your heart beat so fast, while remembering the times when you didn’t want it to beat at all?

[steve0discusses]

S5 Ep5: Female Friends

So I was up hella late because of Daylight Savings screwing my sleep schedule, and I was on Twitch and one of the people I follow was speedrunning a Yugioh game (I think it was called Forbidden Memories like it was some Romance YA novel) and I was like “that’s a thing?” And I watched about 15 minutes of just complete nonsense. Like this game makes no sense when your scrubbing through 30 minutes of gameplay, but when a whole game takes 45 seconds and they have mechanics using like planets and astrology symbols? What?

What?

Y’all, I’m a little concerned your card game ain’t real. Like this is some ploy by knowing adults and this is some sort of Santa Claus situation where everyone else knows that this game ain’t real, but I’m the last person alive who’s like... “it is real though, right?” Hoping that I haven’t been played all of these years, despite having literally no empirical evidence that it is.

Just saying, I’m on to you, Yugioh.

Thanks dub.

I am pretty convinced (could be wrong) but pretty convinced that Grandpa was probably just normal horny in this scene. Like it just kinda matches what I know about horny grandpa tropes (that and Vivian is really talked up to be this hot stuff although she’s just youknow...some girl who exists.)

He immediately falls over. Like immediately, and I don’t know what’s up with Grandpa’s weird slipped disc, but luckily this is the one thing that Mokuba is prepared to deal with as a park manager.

Or what was his job again, Master of Ceremonies? That was the name of Mokuba’s actual chosen job that a 12-13 yo would choose?

Only Mokuba would have the choice to choose “a literal astronaut” and not choose an astronaut. This kid probably hates space though, with his family’s countless war machines now currently flying through the void.

The amount of times that the Kaibas have had to call a doctor for these guys.

(read more under the cut)

Bro was like “So Hawkins paid Grandpa to pretend to fall down so they could ditch Rebecca’s duel, right?” and youknow...probably. It was a pretty boring duel. They got off scott free.

Rex and Weevil do cartoon antics that actually feel like cartoon antics--which feels so weird for this show. Of course, it also has this Vivian plotline that is a little sus for a children’s show?

OK, show. You keep throwing women at Yugi Muto, and I get it’s a joke because he’s the world’s most undateable boy but there is a line of plausibility that even for a kid’s cartoon show it’s like “eh, probably not.”

Anyway, Vivian has Cho Chang energy of “I’m here for a problematic romantic conflict that never needed to happen and hamfisted diversity and uhhhhhh that’s it! I won’t exist after book 5!”

What a step down from dueling on top of the train, right? Like this whole time you could have just dueled next to it? What? In this show?

The rest of the party show up to the train station, where there’s really no other audience watching. Like where are Rebecca’s adoring fans who were asking for her autograph like 3 episodes back?

Card culture is brutal, y’all.

Vivian is not drawn like a 16 yo, being real. I was pretty surprised that she was under 25 according to a cursory Google search. Course, Joey Wheeler is drawn like a built adult, too, so I think the only convincing teenage child on this show is Pharaoh because at least he’s short. Just ignore how sometimes he’s got muscles on his arms that have no right to be there at the age of 16. (17?)

Then we had like a little Season Zero vibes where everyone just picks on Yugi for a hot minute.

And so Tea’s character development comes full circle as she realizes that this whole time, the Female Friend she needed was already here in the form of that small child who has a crush on her kinda boyfriend.

This was such an episode written by a bunch of dudes.

But at least Rebecca and Tea found something in common, although I really wish it wasn’t Yugi, considering how little on screen development he has with either of them. Where’s the reward for me as the viewer? If I cared about either of this love pentagon at all (well, hexagon...Bakura’s still in there.) there will never be a payout. You very well may be waiting forever for a relationship the writers clearly had never any intention to ever write except to act as a foil for our protagonists instead of like...a relationship.

And the show seems a little inconsistent with the relationship between Rebecca and Tea, too. They hang out a lot as the girls on the sideline, and appear to get along a lot of the time--but then they hate eachother a lot of the time as well because of jealousy? It’s just so weird.

I feel like TV shows in general have a really hard time approaching girl friendships, and speaking as a girl, I wish TV and books recognized more that our female friendships don’t have to be so freakin serious. We just act friendly and that’s freakin it.

That and these girls are going to go right back to hating eachother half the time after this is over because the main problem--Yugi not piping up and telling one of them to back the hell off--has never been addressed and never will be because Yugi is a broken, broken wet blanket.

Back at the base, Seto is also making up his own problems to be upset about in the absence of any apocalypses happening on screen.

Unless that hacker is Noah Kaiba, you’re probably fine. I really haven’t had too much of a reason to feel any fear over Zigfried von Schroeder. And maybe it’s because his character design was pretty complicated so no one wanted to draw it.

This was a ‘who’s on first’ joke but still.

...why do cards have to be like this?

Also, I didn’t see anything about this nonsense in the speedrun I watched the other night so, guys, this game ain’t real.

Anyway, Rebecca won.

We find out a little more of what happens to other duelists. Our Cowboy lost to a Sherlock Holmes boy, and I was very happy that I don’t have to come up with jokes about country music because I have none other than like...Taylor Swift jokes? Does she still count as country? I have no idea what’s going on in the country music scene.

On other side of the park, Yugioh decide to pay another tribute to the creative crotch shot with one of these:

Rex and Weevil are off to fight the big bad, and when you think “OK, we’re gonna get a wacky duel battle with these two balancing on top of eachother,” they kinda whiffed it before they made it to the stage.

And then I kind of whiffed it when I realized that Mokuba and Weevil have never spoken in the same place before and they have the same exact font color so fml.

The fact that Mokuba didn’t realize anything was wrong until they fell and revealed they were two small adults in a trench coat says a lot about most of the competitors in this duel.

It is incredible how both the Battle City Tournament and the Kaiba Corp Tourney (s that it’s name?) are both poorly managed, but in a different way. The Battle City Tourney unfortunately had a bunch of murderers in it. This tournament, no one is killing eachother, but they are still kind of sneaking in through the back door and being chronically late to everything.

(and I just want to point out that after the last match Mokuba oversaw that had Joey nearly miss the appointment, Mokuba decided to set this one in front of a Giant Clock just to get his point across)

So Zigfried has some sort of flying horse card that wiped them out right away, which makes you wonder........

.............why use any other cards?

Kaiba makes these cards, right????

Like he should be the last person who’s surprised????

Anyway, Zigfried top-decked a horse, and the guy who spends about 15 minutes getting ready his big ol blue eyes dragons every match he’s ever played was like “Yo I have GOT to get into speedrunning!”

And yes, the speedrun I was watching did not use Blue Eyes White Dragons. They were using a bunch of other stuff that I tried to look up just now and the art is completely different from what I recall so...unfortunately that means that your game is fake. Pretty sure it’s fake and you have no way to prove to me this is real.

Anyway, that’s it for now, not much to say since we’re still at the beginning of the arc. Next week I guess we’ll find out if Seto ever removes his ass from this chair.

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

[kiirokero]

Bull in a China Shop (KNJ)

✰ Drabble ✰

Word Count: ~0.6k

Namjoon x Stylist!Reader which is not explored a bunch, but it’s there, fluff, humour, clumsy and awkward Joon (I’m soft, y’all) 

If there was one word to describe Namjoon, it would be clumsy. 

      The giant of a man was almost as graceful as a bull in a china shop. Broken plates here... Trips and falls there. Whether it was Seokjin kicking him out of kitchen because he managed to break a plastic bowl or it was Hoseok and Yoongi keeping him far away from their instruments. Everyone had lovingly dubbed Namjoon the “God of Destruction,”

      However, being clumsy wasn’t always a physical action. Yes, Namjoon broke everything he touched, but he was also bad with words. He spoke his thoughts aloud when he didn’t mean to. He remembered one time he told Yoongi that he was like a cute dumpling when he meant to only think that. Or the time he said his name was “Namajoon,” to the cute barista that was taking his order. 

He avoided that coffee place like the plague now. 

      Moral of the story, Namjoon operated like 3 cats in a trench coat... And those cats seemed to turn on each other every time you walked into the room. Maybe it was the way you smiled at him. Or maybe it was the way you had to look up to speak to him. Was it because you never failed to make his heart race? Was it your eyes? Your laugh? 

      Namjoon didn’t know. But it wouldn’t change even if he did. Namjoon would still stumble over his words when he talked to you. He would still trip on his own feet when you waved at him in the hallways. He would still break out in a cold sweat when you did his makeup or fixed his clothes. (He’s ripped them more than once,) and what would you do? You’d chuckle and call him cute. Not helping Namjoon’s situation at all. 

      “Namjoon, are you okay? Do you want me to grab you some water?” You asked, breaking Namjoon out of his train of thought. “N-No I’m... Good,” Namjoon chuckled nervously, scratching the back of his neck. “Are you nervous about tonight's performance?” You asked, giving him a sympathetic smile, smoothing down the wrinkles on his white button-up. 

      Namjoon felt his heart stutter at the feeling of your hands on him. He wondered what it would be like to hold you... To kiss you... Were you as warm as you looked? Would you let him hug you and not let go? What would you do if he kissed you right now? Lost in his thought, Namjoon started daydreaming again, not hearing you call his name. “Namjoon!” You called, waving your hand in front of his face. “Y-Yes?” Namjoon blinked, looking back at you with a red face. 

      He looked down at you, just in time for you to reach up and press a kiss to his cheek. Namjoon felt his entire body freeze, and he looked at you with wide eyes. “W-Wha... Did you... Uh...” Namjoon stuttered, reaching up to touch the cheek you kissed. “You can hold and kiss me later. Right now it’s time to perform,” You chuckled, patting his chest. “I-I said that aloud...?” Namjoon asked, mortified. 

     “Mhmm,” You hummed, giving him a smile. “I’m honored that you think I’d be a good cuddle buddy,” You teased. Namjoon groaned, hiding his face in his hands. “I’m so dumb...” He sighed, but you pulled his hands away from his face and gave him a soft grin. “We’ll talk later, okay? You’re up RM,” You promised, pushing Namjoon towards the door, wishing him luck. 

Namjoon performed that day with a huge, unwavering smile.

[lilhawkeye3]

This Ohio discourse has got me dying to create discourse about every other state now hehe so I officially present:

Hawk’s review of 36/50 US states!

In alphabetical order because that fuckin song “50 nifty United States” has been stuck in my head since fourth grade.

Arizona: Phoenix is hot. Can’t believe y’all choose to live in a place that gets haboobs. Saw Sen. John McCain in the airport. I feel that sums up the state well. 4/10

California: as a resident of the state of Oregon, I’m legally required to say fuck California😌 unless anyone else talking shit about Cali and then we got your back😤 SoCal vs San Fran vs Northern Cal are totally different worlds though. 7/10

Colorado: damn idk how y’all breathe there, them air is thin. But really pretty out there! 7/10

Connecticut: oh my god fuck New Haven. And Stamford, and Hartford, and— Yknow what? Let’s just toss the whole state into the Sound. For real, traffic is the WORST here and I’m so sorry that y’all gotta live like that. 3/10

Delaware: I cannot believe this is considered a state. There’s no difference between Delaware and Maryland/Pennsylvania. 1/10 should not be a state

Florida: “the only hills in Florida are the highway ramps and the Matterhorn!” —the shuttle driver at Disney World. He was right. Shit is flat as fuck here. And hot. And humid. The Gulf Coast is nice? But tbh it’s just all very touristy which is kind of a bummer. 5/10

Georgia: ...I can’t with the humidity or thinly veiled racism. But y’all got nice peaches! Also Black Panther filmed there so thank you for blessing us with that. 6/10 for fruits

Hawaii: okay pineapple farms are cool. Tbh I just feel really bad for how much mainlander/tourist bs all the islanders put up with. Ik price of living is v high and keeps going up. That said I did love Hawaii... although I was stung by a jellyfish. Hate those little bastards. 8/10 for wonderful people and nature

Idaho: as an Oregonian I’m required to also say fuck Idaho 😝 you da hoes. Okay for real tho southern Idaho has become v white white and kinda scary tbh. The northern part of the state is pretty chill tho. Also Oreida kettle chips are partly made in Idaho so I gotta give you half credit for that. 4/10

Illinois: at least you’re not Indiana. 4/10.

Indiana: I never want to step foot in Gary, Indiana again in my life. (Passed a Mack truck hauling a race car to Indy 500 though so that was cool.) 2/10

Iowa: I almost moved here. I’m so glad I didn’t. Why are the Quad Cities actually a group of five towns? I hate that. Also the roads were all cement, felt like driving on a sidewalk. Was also interesting because the second we got out of the city proper, it was just... corn fields everywhere. 2/10 y’all raising children of the corn.

Kentucky: I really don’t have anything to say about Kentucky. I thought the trees were pretty? 5/10 yeah idk

Maine: my relative has totaled two cars by hitting moose in Maine. Maine scares me. Or rather, the moose do. Also the lobster roll hype is real. And the coast truly is beautiful. 8/10 but an extra point for the moose bc I hate that relative so 9/10

Maryland: oh god Baltimore. Also I’m blaming you for the DC traffic because it���s on the land you gifted them. 3/10

Massachusetts: Patriots fans are the worst NFL fans (the racism is real, especially after fans burned the jerseys of Black players who knelt for the anthem). Liking Dunkin’ Donuts is not a personality trait. The North End in Boston is truly the best place to get pizza in the entire country. Western Mass is not the same state. And the Cape Cod bridges give me nightmares. 5/10 but cause I had to pay taxes two years and it really is Taxachusetts, knocking it down to 4/10

Michigan: it’s a lot bigger than I initially thought. 5/10

Minnesota: it’s Canada but in the US. Pretty driving through the southern part. Cops suck tho. 5/10

Montana: okay Montana is downright gorgeous. (Except Billings. Sorry, Billings.) I must include a photo. I wanna get a cabin here and just exist. 8/10

New Hampshire: can’t decide if it hates Massachusetts or wants to be Massachusetts. All it knows is that it’s better than Vermont. Which... y’know, valid. (If you wanna see NH culture watch North Woods Law tbh). 4/10

New Jersey: why are there so many goddamn highways in this state? Also there are more places to weekend trip than the Shore or the Poconos. Although you do have people pump gas for you just like Oregon, so... that’s valid. Things my friends have added: Newark airport is cursed (valid), the jughandles are nightmares (true), pork roll/Taylor Ham is good and so are bagels and New Jersey pizza (allergic so idk), and everyone is split on whether the shore is actually decent or not 😂 I give it a 3.5/10 out of spite

New York: NYC is fun, Upstate is MASSIVE but really beautiful. Long Island is... yeah I don’t have anything nice to say about Long Island. 8/10 For NYC, 6/10 for Upstate, -2/10 for Long Island, gives us an average of 6/10

North Carolina: very good peaches. Isn’t South Carolina. Keep it up👍🏽 6/10

Ohio: I already told y’all how I feel about this flat ass boring state. I feel no need to slander it any more lmao. 3/10

Oregon: she flies with her own wings, mi amor🥰 to list all the reasons I like Oregon (and the issues too bc it ain’t perfect), I would need a whole other post. I’ll just leave you with this picture I took of Mt. Hood, the queen of our Cascades. 11/10

Pennsylvania: so apparently PN is three states hiding in a trench coat like NY. There’s upstate, philly and Pittsburg. Personally I think they’re just trying too hard and wanna get the same recognition as NY. Meh. 5/10

Rhode Island: THIS FUCKIN SHAM OF A STATE Just merge it with Connecticut and be done with it!! It’s tiny. Providence sucks. There’s nothing unique about this state that you can’t find in Southern Mass (except MA has cheaper taxes so y’all come to work and shop in MA anyways smh). Also the fingers are really annoying to drive down to get to some beach areas haha. 2/10 you’re barely better than Delaware.

South Carolina: my Black father was invited to a party celebrating General Robert E Lee’s birthday. So... 0/10

South Dakota: very gorgeous, didn’t realize the Missouri River went this far west, but VERY LARGE. I mean it looks big on a map but then you get there and... yeah. No speed limit on highways is a great time though. And the Badlands have mountain goats! 6/10 bc while pretty, living there seems really hard. (Picture is me in the Badlands).

Texas: gave us Juneteenth and Beyoncé and JJ Watts. Thank you Texas. But is very big, got independence from Mexico to keep slavery (yikes), is like 97% private land (yikes) and is like the second or third largest state. Very big. That said, everyone I’ve ever met from Texas is lovely. 6/10.

Utah: Other than Idaho, this is the whitest state I’ve been to. Or it feels that way. Like a, the people crossed to the other side of the street and held their bags because I’m brown, state. And I don’t ski so I can’t even say that’s a good thing (I fell off the ski lift the one time I went, long story). Yeah 0/10.

Vermont: wants to be New Hampshire or Canada and can’t decide which. So it’s just kinda there. Pretty hills though. 3/10

Virginia: let’s be real we all forget that Virginia exists west of Richmond. Nova is a beauracratic and traffic nightmare and half our neighbors had to pass security clearance checks. Hampton Roads and beach area is a tourist and mosquito nightmare. But there were dolphins and I made snowmen on the beach. Good times. 6.7/10

Washington: again, legally required as an Oregon resident to say fuck Washington because it’s all your fault we now are getting a toll on the I-5 border. But you’re better than California. And the Sound is really cool for fishing, love Wicked Tuna. And the fish market. Best salmon I’ve had. Eastern Washington... y’all got Spokane but the rest is kinda sparse. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 8/10

Wisconsin: cheese is actually good. Again, pretty state, much larger than I initially thought. 7/10

Wyoming: this was the ONLY STATE I lost cell service in when diriving cross country. Kinda surprised it wasn’t Montana, but no, it was Wyoming. Views are gorgeous though so I was distracted either way. 4/10

Thank you for joining me on this cross-country edition of Tea Time with Hawk. Please respond with any reactions, corrections, addendums about any and all of the states mentioned. And thank you for taking part in this wholesome Clone Wars fandom discourse with me 🥰💕

DISCLAIMER: THESE RATINGS ARE ALL A JOKE PLEASE DO NOT ACTUALLY GET MAD ABOUT IT

[wandasallerdyce]

Touch - Bucky Barnes x M! Reader

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x M! Reader

Fandom: Marvel

Warning(s): slight cussing, mention of hard pp

Request: yes/no

Plot: Reader is a sibling to Wanda Maximoff. Has the same abilities as her. Takes place after Endgame, but there will be flashbacks. Loosely inspired by Touch by Little Mix

Notes: so, this is a long fic since I kept on writing. I wrote this at 1 so if it’s cringey y’all know why. Please enjoy and vote :)

You and Bucky’s relationship was… strange to say the least. You guys weren’t dating, yet you guys were all touchy and cuddly. Neither of you guys knew when it had all started and if left Steve confused as this Bucky wasn’t known to be all touchy and stuff. Sam was amused and your sister, Wanda, would just smile at you. In her mind, she knew that you found the right person for you as she had with Vision.

~•~

You and Wanda were in the backseat of the van sitting in silence. You could read in her mind that she felt bad about putting Vis in the ground, but it has to be done so you guys could leave. Ever since the Lagos incident, you had stayed locked in her room with her trying to help her feel better (with some help from Vision of course). The van came to a halt as Clint told you guys that you were at the airport.

You guys stepped out of the van and saw the rest of the team. Sam, Bucky, and Steve were all there, looking safe. You smiled at Steve, as you guys were basically best friends since you joined the Avengers and he helped you and Wanda deal with the loss of your guys’ brother, Pietro. You turned your head in the direction of the little blue car, seeing Bucky far from the group. When you guys locked eyes, you felt an excitement you hadn’t felt in a while.

As you stared into his eyes, all time seemed to stop. All Bucky could think of was how beautiful you looked as the sun hit your face. “Oh! And I know you also! Your her brother.” The man, who you had come to known as Scott (who was asleep the whole ride) exclaimed pointing to you and your sister. Both of you just have a small smile to him. Bucky was a little mad that your attention had been diverted somewhere else, but he guessed introductions were necessary.

When introductions where over, it was time to change. Before anyone else could, you and Wanda called dibs on the van. To say some weren’t mad was an understatement. It was going to be uncomfortable changing outside for the others. And to add salt to the wound, the both of you giggled as you guys got into the van to change. “Godammit, Wanda and (y/n) are always quick. Those troublemakers.” Clint grumbled quietly. Bucky just smirked slightly, finding it pretty amusing on how mischievous both of you were, especially you.

Your suit was designed to be like your sister’s. You had a trench coat, leather jeans, gloves and boots like her, except that your chest piece was kind of like a jacket, zipping up. You always left it a little open though. When Bucky saw you when you stepped out of the van, he was blushing furiously. He knew the times were different, but he wasn’t prepared to see you dressed so… nicely. You turned over to see Bucky standing stiff and you just gave him a quick smile and waved. You on the other hand, liked the way the silver from his metal arm popped with the dark colors he wore.

Once your teams were assigned, you went with Bucky and Sam to your guys’ hideout. Bucky was walking stiffly, not trying to make his boner obvious. You, as oblivious as always, took this as nervousness, and, in an effort to calm him, you grabbed his hand and squeezed it lightly. If Bucky hadn’t been a mess by now, he definitely was one as of now.

‘Fuck fuck fuck, go to your calm place Barnes. Don’t make it obvious’ he repeated in his mind, trying to make his boner go down. Once he made it to the lookout place with you guys, he let out a loud sigh he didn’t know he was holding in. “Geez, can you sigh any louder?” Sam complained. Bucky just rolled his eyes at the remark. You simply giggled and said, “Easy Wilson, he’s a newbie to your sass.” He smiled slightly, thankful for you standing up for him.

All three of you were looking out the window until you guys saw a… person swinging towards you? Either way, all three of you started running. You heard a window crash and punches being thrown. “You have the right to remain silent!” Said the person, who you came to deduce as a boy yell. You rolled your eyes, clearly telling he was on the younger side. Why Tony would bring a child was beyond your imagination but hey, it was Tony after all and he didn’t really think things through to begin with.

You turned around and saw a clear shot, so you powered a hex ball that you threw towards him. He barely dodged it, so you decided to keep him distracted by repeatedly throwing them. Using that distraction, Sam was able to kick the boy. The plan backfired on you guys as he was making your way towards Bucky, who was standing near a ledge. With your quick thinking, you blocked the boy’s kick, which caused you and Bucky to break the glass and fall. Bucky wrapped his arms tightly around you as you fell and landed on his back with a thump. You opened your eyes and were met with Bucky’s.

“Well this is awkward.” You said while smiling lightly. He smirked and simply said, “It’s a good kind of awkward. What you both hadn’t expected was for web kid to web you guys together, in that exact position, with you straddling Bucky’s waist. ‘Oh no’ Bucky simply thought, hoping he wasn’t a roused down there. Sam eventually got webbed down there along with you guys. The kid explained how he had to impress Tony and some other stuff which you barely paid attention to. As he was about to shoot a web, Sam summoned redwing to drag the kid out of the window.

“You couldn’t have done that sooner?”

“I hate you”

~•~

You hadn’t expected to fight against your friends, but if it was for a good cause, then so be it. You saw Bucky struggling to fight a man in a panther costume. As Black Panther (you had learned his name due to his costume) was about to slice Bucky’s neck, you summoned your powers to stop the attack, which was very close to Bucky’s neck, and threw Balck Panther towards a crate.

You locked eyes with Bucky and simply nodded. He smiled back and gave you a thumbs up. From then on, you guys stuck together in the battle looking out for each other. You and Bucky hid behind a truck as Rhodey launched missiles towards both of you. Once both of you were hidden, you guys discussed your teams next move. You had come to the conclusion that Steve and Bucky where to leave in the quinjet and the rest of you would stay. To say Bucky was pissed was an understatement. He was furious that you had decided to stay.

You looked into his eyes one last time and pulled him into a hug. “Listen Bucky, you need to go and stop this doctor. You and Steve are the only ones who can do it. Trust me. Once the missions over, come back for me. Only after it’s finished though.” You said, trying to make him understand. “I promise, (y/n) Maximoff.” He whispered into your ear. You pulled back and cupped his face. He looked like he was about to cry, not wanting to loose another friend. You leaned in and kissed his cheek. He smiled brightly and with that, you got up to help your sister fight off the others.

~•~

Your mind felt hazy as you woke up. You looked around and saw that you were in the quinjet. You squinted your eyes, as your last memory had been of The Raft.

You had it the worst. They hosed you down with cold water and dressed you in clothes that got wet easily. And in addition, they made you wear a shock collar and straight jacket. Your sister was treated a little more fairly, which you were glad about. As long as she was safe it was alright. When Steve has found you, he was beyond pissed. He considered you one of his closest friends and seeing you like this had him seeing red. He had found you in a fetus position lying down on the floor, shivering from the cold. Your memories after that were blurry and you passed out again in the quinjet.

When you woke up, you turned your head and saw Steve and Wanda sitting in the chairs next to your bed waiting for you to wake up. “S-Steve?? …Wanda??” You croaked our, your voice raspy from the pressure of the shock collar. Wanda, after hearing you speak, got up from her chair and rushed to your side and holding your hand. Steve went to go call out for a nurse to let them know you were awake. The nurse came in along with Steve and checked on you to see if you needed more medical attention.

After reading your vital signs and making sure you were okay, she explained to you that you were in Africa, in a country named Wakanda. She told you that you were safe here, as it was hidden from the world, and, you should regain more of your voice in a few days. After she left, Wanda explained what happened after the airport. Apparently there were more Winter Soldiers and the doctor had been apprehended, but at the cost of the disbandment of the Avengers (and Bucky’s arm).

You frowned, seeing as the Avengers had become your family after you lost your parents and your brother. Steve was up next and he told you that Bucky went into ice again. He also explained how stubborn Bucky was being before it. Apparently, he didn’t want to start until he had seen you. They explained that you weren’t awake yet and that he would be allowed to visit after. But oh boy, was he one stubborn man. You smiled lightly. “They got fed up with him so they finally let him visit. He looked sad seeing you in that bed, (y/n). He told me to tell you that he also got you those flowers.” Steve said, pointing to the vase next to you.

The flowers were beautiful. It was a vase filled with sunflowers, which Bucky chose because they reminded him of when you guys met. The sun that shined on your face making you glow beautifully. You smiled, hoping Bucky was doing alright

~•~

A few months had passed and you had moved in with Bucky in a hut near the plains. It was beautiful whenever the sun would set. During that time, you became best friends with Shuri who at this time was helping you design a new costume. The sun had set and you were making your way back home.

When you had moved in with Bucky, the first few days were pretty awkward. Seeing as there was one bed, you guys had to share it seeing as both of you didn’t want the other to sleep on the floor. During the night, you had ended up cuddling into each other’s embrace. Your head on Bucky’s chest and his arms wrapped around you. Needless to say, it was pretty awkward when you guys woke up in the morning.

There was a lot of blushing at first, both of you trying to stutter out an apology. You guys eventually got up and decided not to speak on it. But again that night, you guys ended up on the same position. Eventually, that became your guys’ go to sleep position.

“Are you comfortable Bucky?”

“Of course doll”

~•~

This brought you back to the present day. Apparently it had been 5 years since Thanos snapped and it was now 2023. You were thankful that your friends were able to reverse it, but you suffered with the losses it took. Natasha has been a good friend of yours also. She trained both you and your sister in hand to hand combat and would always have girls (and one boy) night every Friday which consisted of you guys putting on a cheesy rom com or an action movie. How you wished you could go back to those times when life was simple.

Well, Steve did. He was able to go back to Peggy (which you didn’t agree with, since Peggy got to move on and live her new life). You would go back, but you now had Bucky, and you wouldn’t go back in time just to mess that up. On to you and Bucky. You guys were sitting in the dock outside of Stark’s house. Both of you sitting in a comfortable silence with your head on his shoulder and your hands entertwined.

“(y/n), what are we?” Asked Bucky softly. “I don’t know James.” You responded with the same softness. He turned his head towards you and said, “I think boyfriend would suit you great. If that’s what you’d like of course.” Bucky said, staring into your eyes and blushing. “I’d love that. We could find a nice apartment and move in there. What do you say Buck?”

“Of course doll”

~•~

It had been 3 years since the snap. You and Bucky were now engaged and it’s as if the touching had escalated since your engagement. Both of you would always be holding hands or if kisses were exchanged, your guys’ hands would roam somewhere else. You were currently with Wanda, about to tell her about your engagement in a coffee shop. She was talking about how she had a plan to help bring Vision back with the help of a woman named Darcy Lewis.

You were happy for her as since when she came back, she hadn’t gone back into the depressed state she was in before. She had learned to accept his death and know that there could be a way to bring him back. ‘Okay this is it. Just tell Wanda and she’ll be excited about it.’ You repeated to yourself.

“Wanda, I have to tell you something.” You said, mustering up the courage. “Your engaged to Barnes aren’t you?” She said with a smirk. “You read my mind, didn’t you?” You said, laughing quietly. “That and the ring was making it obvious.” She said smiling. “I wanted it to be a surprise, but this works as well.” You said giving her a big smile. “Well dear brother, just know I’m happy for you. Now, (y/n) Maximoff-Barnes has a nice ring to it. Or are you just gonna go (y/n) Barnes? Oh! Or maybe (y/n) Barnes-Maximoff?” She said, not being able to hold in her laughter. You joined her, laughing your butts off in the cafe.

~•~

Today was the day. Today you would marry James Buchanan Barnes. Your soulmate. The man who was there for you whenever you messed up. You loved him with all your heart. You had chosen Wanda as your maid of honor (obvi), and the others consisted of Pepper, Valkyrie (who refused to wear a dress which was fine, as you guys got her the flashiest tux), and Laura. Bucky’s groomsmen consisted of Steve who was the man of honor (time travel cause Bucky wouldn’t have it a different way) Sam (who was reluctant at first, but eventually gave in), Thor and Clint.

You guys had planned the wedding to be small as both of you guys weren’t big on big weddings. The colors were a mix of white and pink. You were nervous to say the least. Sure, you wanted to get married to Bucky, you were just worried about how the wedding was gonna play out. Eventually, the time had come to walk down the aisle. You were walked out by Stephen Strange per your request. He had a become a father figure to you, as he helped you control your magic more and eventually you guys became great friends and he claimed you as his “son” seeing as he didn’t want any real “rascals” as he put it.

So here he was, your adoptive father walking you to your new life. There he was, standing in a grey suit with a white shirt, pink vest and tie. It was a struggle to get Bucky to agree to that as he was used to wearing dark colors. As you made it to the altar, your eyes locked an never broke eye contact. Both of you in your own world not paying attention to the priest. Eventually, you guys exchanged your vows and were officially married. You wondered how you were gonna tell Stephen about how soon you and Bucky were gonna adopt, but that’s a story for another time. You don’t want grandpa having a heart attack, do you?

AAAAAANNNNNNNDDDD ITS DONE. WOOO THIS WAS A LONG ONE. IM SORRY IF ITS CRINGEY I WROTE THIS AT 1AM. As always please vote if you guys enjoyed. Love you guys!

[kaepopsicle]

ncts majors in uni.

this is all my personal opinion. tehe シ enjoy! (some of them might have majors & minors :))

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

𝐽𝐼𝑆𝑈𝑁𝐺 . 𝑆𝑂𝐶𝐼𝑂𝐿𝑂𝐺𝑌 // 𝐷𝐴𝑁𝐶𝐸

I feel like since he has a big heart he would like learning about others

The dance one is kind of a given, he does it as a minor but more for the fun of it

I can see him being someone that works with social services

Even though he’s shy he’s good at understanding others

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𝐶𝐻𝐸𝑁𝐿𝐸 . 𝑆𝑃𝑂𝑅𝑇𝑆 𝐵𝑅𝑂𝐴𝐷𝐶𝐴𝑆𝑇𝐼𝑁𝐺

He is such a good speaker I can see him being a sports broadcaster

At basketball games specifically

He has a strong voice which he can use for things like that

He also loves sports (especially basketball) and I think he would do a good job at it

if he was the sports broadcaster I might actually watch sports

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

𝑌𝐴𝑁𝐺𝑌𝐴𝑁𝐺 . 𝐿𝐴𝑊

This boy has such a big mouth and just knows what to say at the right times

But he also seems like the type of person to have a strong sense of justice

He seems like an intelligent person who knows what’s right and wrong (good morales)

Him also being charming and convincing he could do a good job at getting people to believe what he’s saying

Him being a lawyer is just a hot concept

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𝐽𝐴𝐸𝑀𝐼𝑁 . 𝑃𝑅𝐸 𝑀𝐸𝐷 (ℎ𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑙𝑦 𝑖 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑠𝑒𝑒 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎 𝑝ℎ𝑜𝑡𝑜𝑔𝑟𝑎𝑝ℎ𝑦 𝑚𝑎𝑗𝑜𝑟 𝑡𝑜𝑜)

He has said before if he wasn’t an idol he would be an doctor

And just big hearted nana would be such a good doctor

He probably would be a pediatrician, he’s so good with kids

He’s also quite intelligent as well so I know he would be good in med school

Just imagine him as a doctor y’all lab coat in all, I would never eat an apple

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𝐻𝐴𝐸𝐶𝐻𝐴𝑁 . 𝐶𝑅𝐼𝑀𝐼𝑁𝐴𝐿 𝐽𝑈𝑆𝑇𝐼𝐶𝐸 (𝑖 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑠𝑒𝑒 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑎𝑙𝑠𝑜 𝑑𝑜 𝑗𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑎𝑚//𝑏𝑟𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔)

For some reason I just see him being a criminal justice major

Works as a detective, he is good at figuring things out I feel like

His voice is also so nice to listen to and he seems to know what he’s talking about

He has a big heart for understanding others so he would do a good job at seeing all the sides to an investigation

Also just imagine him in a long brown trench coat and just ughhhh

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𝐽𝐸𝑁𝑂 . 𝐸𝑋𝐸𝑅𝐶𝐼𝑆𝐸 𝑆𝐶𝐼𝐸𝑁𝐶𝐸 // 𝑆𝑃𝑂𝑅𝑇𝑆 𝐸𝐷𝑈𝐶𝐴𝑇𝐼𝑂𝑁

Since jeno is such an athletic person it’s not a surprise he would be good at exercise science

Him being a physical education teacher or a trainer just fits

He’s so patient and motivational that it would be easy for him to help others

Even though he’s on the shyer side he seems like someone who would be good at leading

GYM TEACHER!JENO OR WEIGHT TRAINER!JENO

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𝑅𝐸𝑁𝐽𝑈𝑁 . 𝐴𝑅𝑇 𝐻𝐼𝑆𝑇𝑂𝑅𝑌

He just has that vibe to him

He doesn’t just like something for being something he loves the meaning behind it

Being an art history major he would yes, do art but also be able to learn and tell stories about it

He just seems like an artistic and poetic person, he just would fit being some sort of art history professor or something

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𝐻𝐸𝑁𝐷𝐸𝑅𝑌 . 𝐶𝑈𝐿𝑇𝑈𝑅𝐴𝐿 𝑆𝑇𝑈𝐷𝐼𝐸𝑆 // 𝐸𝐷𝑈𝐶𝐴𝑇𝐼𝑂𝑁

I know he loves learning other languages and of other cultures (he has said it before but I can’t remember where)

So him being a cultural studies major just fits, him traveling meeting new people and learning about them

I also think since he loves teaching Ten mandarin he is patient and gentle

He would make a great teacher too! Since he just all around seems like a warm hearted, lovely individual

If he taught a class no one would ever skip it

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𝑋𝐼𝐴𝑂𝐽𝑈𝑁 . 𝑉𝐸𝑇𝐸𝑅𝑁𝐴𝑅𝑌 𝑀𝐸𝐷𝐼𝐶𝐼𝑁𝐸 // 𝑊𝑅𝐼𝑇𝐼𝑁𝐺

Okay so we all know how Xiao is with Bella and the cats, so it’s not a surprise he would want to do something evolving animals

Being a veterinarian fits, he can also sing while taking care of the animals

He just has that kind of heart you know?

Finds them beautiful and special and he is also good at comforting people if they lose a pet

But also since he has such a talent for writing I can see him minoring in writing, songwriting, poetry, etc.

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𝑀𝐴𝑅𝐾 . 𝐶𝑂𝑀𝑀𝑈𝑁𝐼𝐶𝐴𝑇𝐼𝑂𝑁𝑆 // 𝐸𝑁𝐺𝐿𝐼𝑆𝐻 𝐿𝐼𝑇𝐸𝑅𝐴𝑇𝑈𝑅𝐸

So for mark I had a little trouble thinking about what he would want to do, he has a lot of strengths

But one of his strengths is talking, he’s not the best at technology but him describing stuff seems to be powerful

So a communications // English literature major seems pretty fitting

He could be a communications director and brand leader for some big company

He also is a natural born leader (I blame the leo in him) so he would be good at leading people

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𝐿𝑈𝐶𝐴𝑆 . 𝐸𝑁𝐺𝐼𝑁𝐸𝐸𝑅𝐼𝑁𝐺 // 𝑁𝑈𝑅𝑆𝐼𝑁𝐺

I feel like Lucas is honestly a really sweet guy who would love to take care of others so a nurse fits him

And he also just seems like someone who’s intelligent and kindness is underestimated

And honestly him being the type of person to pick an easy major 😂 so he would pick engineering and actually like it

I’m not sure what kind of career he would do, but I just know he would be good at whatever he chooses

He’s a quick learner :) why do I want to see him as a nurse so bad

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𝐽𝑈𝑁𝐺𝑊𝑂𝑂 . 𝑁𝑈𝑅𝑆𝐼𝑁𝐺 𝑃𝐴𝑅𝑇 𝑇𝑊𝑂. 𝐹𝑂𝑂𝐷 𝑆𝐶𝐼𝐸𝑁𝐶𝐸

I can see him being some sort of nutritional nurse

He loves food and eating it but he’s also a big softie

So why not combine both of his passions and make a career out of it

He can test different foods and make sure they are healthy enough for others

And make diet plans for patients in the hospital for Dr. Na

imagine him, Jaemin & Lucas working in the same hospital omfg

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𝑊𝐼𝑁𝑊𝐼𝑁 . 𝐶𝐻𝐼𝑁𝐸𝑆𝐸 𝐻𝐼𝑆𝑇𝑂𝑅𝑌 // 𝑇𝑅𝐴𝐷𝐼𝑇𝐼𝑂𝑁𝐴𝐿 𝐷𝐴𝑁𝐶𝐸

Winwin just seems like the type of person to be an professional dancer

But in traditional Chinese dance

Since that’s what he is trained in

He has that raw, beautiful talent to him that he would be a good person to have shows and show off those talents

But studying in chinese history could be a back up in case he wants to settle down

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𝐽𝐴𝐸𝐻𝑌𝑈𝑁 . 𝐸𝐿𝐸𝑀𝐸𝑁𝑇𝐴𝑅𝑌 𝐸𝐷𝑈𝐶𝐴𝑇𝐼𝑂𝑁

Okay so Jae being the strong and warm person he is and how much he loves kids he would make an amazing elementary school teacher

He has a way with kids and making them listen to him

He would make it fun and beneficial

All of the kids would be in awe about him they just couldn’t help but pay attention

All of the female (and maybe some male) teachers have crushes on him

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𝑇𝐸𝑁 . 𝐴𝑅𝑇 // 𝐸𝑁𝐺𝐿𝐼𝑆𝐻

Okie so this one is a given

He is a jack of all trades

There is nothing he isn’t good at, so personally he could do whatever he wanted

But since art is a strong passion I can see him being a professional artist, maybe owning an art museum

But also I see him minoring in English since he does love the language and speaking it, he could move to an western country and speak or teach it

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𝐷𝑂𝑌𝑂𝑈𝑁𝐺 . 𝑅𝐴𝐷𝐼𝑂 𝐵𝑅𝑂𝐴𝐷𝐶𝐴𝑆𝑇𝐼𝑁𝐺 // 𝐾𝑂𝑅𝐸𝐴𝑁 𝐿𝐼𝑇𝐸𝑅𝐴𝑇𝑈𝑅𝐸

Okay so three words; Doyoung radio show

He would have his own show and talk every morning

He would talk about pretty much anything, his life being an idol, his friends, family

Deep stuff dumb shit

Anything, and the korean literature could also just be a back up, he would do good in both

Vroom vroom talk show is quaking

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𝑌𝑈𝑇𝐴 . 𝑊𝑂𝑀𝐸𝑁𝑆 𝐺𝐸𝑁𝐷𝐸𝑅 𝑆𝑇𝑈𝐷𝐼𝐸𝑆 // 𝐽𝐴𝑃𝐴𝑁𝐸𝑆𝐸 𝐿𝐼𝑇𝐸𝑅𝐴𝑇𝑈𝑅𝐸

So we all know Yuta is a feminist (WE FUCKING STAN) so him being an women’s gender studies major just makes sense

He would want to learn anything he can about women and even be a women counselor or someone who helps women going through stress

Also Japanese literature just bc you know he is Japanese and I think he would do a good job at that too

But imagining him being someone who helps women in tough situations and just being an all around MAN makes me cry

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𝐾𝑈𝑁 . 𝐶𝑈𝐿𝐼𝑁𝐴𝑅𝑌 // 𝑃𝐼𝐴𝑁𝑂

I think you guys saw this one coming

He has such a passion and talent for cooking he might even own his own restaurant!!

He is a good leader so being a head chef and telling people how to cook things and also being able to make things he wants to just sounds like a good plan for him

And piano minor simply for the fact he loves playing for fun

He would travel around the world making food for famous people and just wowwww

Gordon Ramsey is quaking

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𝑇𝐴𝐸𝑌𝑂𝑁𝐺 . 𝑃𝑆𝑌𝐶𝐻𝑂𝐿𝑂𝐺𝑌

Honestly Taeyong being a psychology major isn’t surprising

He has been through so much in his life that his heart just feels like he should help others

Him being such a gentle sweet person it wouldn’t be hard to make others feel comfortable around him

His presence all around is calming, he would do a good job just listening to people and maybe helping them

HE IS JUST SUCH A SWEET PERSON IM SOFT

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𝐽𝑂𝐻𝑁𝑁𝑌 . 𝐵𝑈𝑆𝐼𝑁𝐸𝑆𝑆 // 𝑃𝐻𝑂𝑇𝑂𝐺𝑅𝐴𝑃𝐻𝑌

Hear me out, Johnny opening a coffee shop in Chicago

He would take pictures of the city and use it as interior design and he would make his own bouquets and have lots of plants around the coffee shop

It would be a very hip shop where a lot of college students goes

He would be very popular and everyone would know him

People would probably just go to his coffee shop to see him and taste his coffeee

I mean who wouldn’t want to go to Johnnys coffee shop ??? (Omg he should call it Johns Joe) hahaha I’m sorry I’m laughing at myself)

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𝑇𝐴𝐸𝐼𝐿 . 𝑀𝑈𝑆𝐼𝐶 𝑆𝑇𝑈𝐷𝐼𝐸𝑆

Again this is a given

Taeil just screams music teacher

Choir teacher, travels the country having his class and choirs sing in competitions

He is such a calm soul he would be good at it

And his voice is ANGELIC so it would be such an honor to be taught by him

He also just seems like he knows what he is talking about when it comes to music

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[the-daily-multi-fandom-post]

A slayer and the daughter of Dean Winchester:

9358 words later thank the lord I've finally finished! I hope you like this! warnings: Cussing, Death, Vampires, Angst, sadness, idk what else. 

Finally!! AFTER WAITING SO LONG HERE IT IS!!! So so sooooo sorry it has taken so long for this to post I’m sorry for the sucky story. But I hope you like it. 

@thornyrose463 hope you like it <3 xoxo! Credits go where they belong. Thank you @thornyrose463​ for making the cover and requesting!

The slayer and the daughter of Dean Winchester:

My name is Y/n Winchester. I know what you're thinking. 'Oh my Gosh, Winchester. Like Sam and Dean Winchester?'  Yeah, Deans my dad, and Sams my Uncle. My mom left me on my dads door step 15 years ago. It was a one night stand mistake. She was a bar hooker and well, you know how that ends. (Should've wrapped it before he tapped it.) She left a note when she dropped me off at the doors of the bunker. It said, 

"I can't have her. Not with the life I live. I can barely take care of myself much less a kid. I've seen how you and your brother are. I know you two can take care of her. Please don't call or try to reach out to me. I don't want to hear anything about her. I feel bad enough about it. I just want you to give her the life I never had." Yeah, very heart felt. 

I was never a hunter. Dad and Uncle Sammy were to protective to let me hunt. They always tell me, "Kiddo, we've lost too much. We can't lose you too. We couldn't live with ourselves if you get hurt." I understood where they were coming from, but it sucked. I would get left behind. They never took breaks. It got lonely just to stay in the hotel room all day long. That is until one particular day when something strange happened.

Y/n was the smartest kid Dean and his brother, Sam had ever known. She was homeschooled, but if they had long hunts in a town Dean would put her in school. She was at the top of all her classes and was capable of doing anything she set her mind to.

Sometimes she would go to her uncle Bobby's. He treated her like she was a normal kid. He would play games with her. One time when she was little she and Bobby had a tea party. Y/n made Bobby wear a hot pink boa, a tiara, painted his nails purple. Dean may or may not have a picture of Bobby when he had passed out on the sofa.

Years went by and Y/n became a teenager. Her life was as normal as it can be with being a Winchester and all. But that is until a strange man walked up to her after school.

the night of the watcher-

Y/n walked out of her last period of school. She was glad the school day was over. She had enough homework  and books in her bag it seemed to be ripping the seams.

Y/n was walking out to the black impala when a Brown haired man walked up to her. She looked at him confused as he stopped beside her. "Hi, my name is Jackson." He started with a smile. His soft caramel eyes looking into her Y/e/c eyes. He seems to be only a few years younger than Sam and Dean.

"Y/n."  She said shaking his hand. Her silver ring she purposely wore not burning the man.

"Can I help you?" She asked softly looking at the man confused at what he wanted. "Well, I’m your watcher. I’m here to help you." He says it like Y/n is suppose to know what that meant.

"I was sent here because you're a slayer... a vampire slayer," he whispered softly as he smiled.

"Umm, I have no clue what your talking about." The man nodded as he walked with her to the Impala where her uncle sat reading something on his tablet and Dean watched them intently. "Who's that?" Dean asked nodding over to you and Jackson walking over to the impala. Sam looked up seeing you and Jackson waking over. "A boy," he gasped dramatically, clutching his heart. "Call the police! Your baby is growing up!" He joked. Even though he was just as protective as Dean was. "Bitch."  Dean said as he got out of the car. "Jerk!" Sam called out the window. “Y/n, who is this? Dean asked looking at Y/n. I'm Jackson, Y/ns watcher.” “Right. Is that suppose to be a new name for a stocker?” Dean asked with a look that could kill. “No, a watcher is someone who watches the slayer. Protect them and guide them. You can actually help out. A slayer is someone who dust vampires. My job as a watcher is to train them. But you can help with the fighting part. I'm not much to be beat up by a 15 year old.” Y/n looked up at Jackson who was a good foot taller than her. “Is it because I'm a girl?” She joked looking at the man. Jackson shook his head, looking down at y/n. “No, I just don't want my ego bruised.”  He spoke playfully. Making Dean and Y/n chuckle.

Days passed and Y/n was fully trained. Y/n noticed a few changes in her life. Not only the new man or her knew knowledge on being a slayer but she began to have these dreams. Strange dreams that seemed a little, what's the word.. prophetic maybe?

First it was this man being attacked in an apartment . She could see the attacker was a female vampire; brown hair, red-black eyes, a smaller build yet had so much supernatural strength.

Y/n watched the woman as she walked into a five story apartment complex. Y/n trailed behind her, though the woman seemed like she wasn't around. She followed the woman up three flights of stairs and down a long corridor. The fifth door on the left the red haired walked into a door, leaving it slightly opened. Y/n looked at the door seeing the numbers 327 A on the door.

She seen a young man standing in the living room of the apartment. Ringing his hands nervously, almost as if he was scared of being caught.

Why so nervous? The ginger haired woman asked the man. His green eyes met her striking blue eyes and smiled.

I'm just scared were going to be caught. Y/n didn't understand, was the young man married, did he have a girlfriend or something. “Don't worry, I'm gonna take care of that. But for now I have something special for you.” 

Y/n noticed a shift in the room. There were footsteps coming from another room in the apartment. Two men came out with a  sinister smirk. 

She silently gasped as she watched the three attack the young man. His hands hitting and scratching them. Trying with all his strength to push them off him. To fight back, but he was too weak against their supernatural strength. She tried to move but it was like weights were holding her down. Like her feet were glued to the ground, incapable of moving. 

She watched as they man fell to the floor completely drained of blood. His eyes landed on y/n. Y/n watched as his life slowly left his eyes. Him crying out for help against the three. He fought to his dying breath. “Help... me..” Y/n screamed as she violently woke up. Busting through the door came Dean with his gun, Sam with his, and Castile with his angel blade. “Are you okay? What's with the screaming?”  Dean questioned as he looked around the room. “Nothing, just a bad dream.” Deans eyes full of sympathy as he looked at his daughter. “I’m okay, y’all can go.” Y/n voice wasn't wavering at all, but her hands were shaking. Dean and Sam nodded as they hug and kissed her forehead. “Get some sleep kiddo.”  Dean spoke softly to his daughter. she nodded, hugging him then Sam. “Goodnight.” She told the two Cass stayed there in the room. He noticed how she really felt. She was scared, but she wasn't going to tell her dad and uncle that. “Will you stay with me, Uncle Cass?” She asked softly to the angel. “Of course,” his deep voice sounded through the quiet room. He laid down beside her as she cuddled up to his chest. She tried to keep it all in. To be strong like her dad and uncles. But it all came out. Castiel rubbed her back as he tried to soothe her. “It felt so real!” She sobbed, her body shaking in sobs. “They were attacking this man and I couldn't move. It felt like I was just stuck there in place. Like someone was holding me down. I couldn't save the man.”  She cried. Castiel rubbed her back as her body slowly stopped shaking in sobs. He noticed Y/n slowly falling to sleep. --- “You know that dream is going to become real, right?” Jackson asked Y/n as she ate her breakfast that she had made herself. She jumped as she looked at her watcher. “What the hell!” She jumped, Jackson came out of nowhere. “How’d you get in here?” She asked watching Jackson as he tried to steal bacon off her plate. “No”. She smacked his hand. “Your father let me. Nice man, though I can see where you got your nasty attitude from.” He winked playfully. Y/n rolled her y/e/c eyes as she sighed into her pancakes. “Back to what I was saying. The dream you had, it really is going to come true. Most likely tonight, so you need to figure out where it was so you can kill the vampires before they kill.” Jackson said as he took a pancake from a plate beside the stove. “Do you have any syrup?” Y/n looked at him with annoyance. “Yes, we do. In the fridge.”  The two of them ate their breakfast and had occasional small talk. Though Jackson was new Y/n spoke to him kindly. Not much like her uncle and father. For some reason she felt like she could trust this man. As if he wasn't out to hurt her or her family. He seemed to have god intentions. I mean, who just lets some dude into your life when he claims to be a watcher. Dean and the rest of the gang. (Sam and Castiel) eventually made their way down to the kitchen. Sam with his hair wet from his daily shower after a run. Dressed in his normal a red flannel and blue jeans. Dean had on his blue jeans a white t-shirt and a gray flannel over that. Castiel, well you can tell what he was wearing, His famous trench coat and a suit. ___ “So your telling me, my daughters nightmare is gonna come true?” Dean asked as the watcher dug into his breakfast. “Mhm, its premonitions. You see a vision, dream a vision, in your case. And what you see is what's going to happen. For instance, Y/n, you dreamed of what? Someone getting attacked by vampires in a apartment. If we can find out where that apartment is we can save the victim, before he become the victim.” Jackson explained, looking at Dean who seemed like he was still confused. “Well how do we find the apartment?” Sam asked, looking at his niece hoping she could tell them where it was. “Y/n, do you remember anything from the apartment building that could tell us where it is located?” Castiel deep voice startled Y/n as she spaced out. It seemed like she was daydreaming. She could see the apartment building that was in her dream. She walked towards it when she felt her foot hit something. “1254 Raymond rd., Emporia Kansas.” Y/n muttered as she woke from her daydream. What? “That's the apartment building. 1255 Raymond rd. Emporia Kansas.” Y/n repeated. “Good, that's only a couple hours from here. Back some stuff and well go.”  Dean clapped his hands together. Leaving the room to get ready. “Good job, kiddo.” Sam spoke giving Y/n a smile. About half an hour later they were packed to go on Y/ns first hunt. Y/n tried to get some sleep on the way but couldn't she kept dreaming the same dream over and over again. She knew what she was looking for, she just hoped they will get there on time. “Alright, this is it.” Dean said as they pulled up into the apartment building. “So what we just sit here until we see them?” Y/n asked Jackson who pulled up in a white pick up truck. “No, were going to go inside. Find out which room the kid has rented and then kill the vampires before they kill him.” Jackson explained, pulling out a black duffel bag from the back seat of the truck. “Alright.” Y/n hummed, getting out of the car with Jackson beside her. “You three can stay there. Well can if we need help.”  Jackson followed the slayer through the building and up 3 flights of stairs. Down a long corridor fifth door on the right; Y/n knew this was the one. Y/n bent down, grabbing her lock picking set she picked the lock. “Why do you know how to pick a lock?” Jackson questioned Y/n skeptically. Y/n shrugged smiling coyly her answer is simple,  “Because I’m a Winchester.” They walked into the apartment. Y/n prepared to kill any vampires in the room. She quietly walked in. A wooden stake in her hand, she searched the room. Ready to dust any vampires around. “Are you sure this is the apartment you saw?” Y/n nodded as she pointed to the numbers on the door. “1254 apartment 327 A, pretty sure this is it.” Her voice soft so no one but Jackson could hear her. “In my dream” “- vision” Jackson butted in, whatever. She rolled her y/e/c eyes. “There were two men  in this room. They came out of this room right here. So if we wait in this room  we have an advantage.” Jackson took a second before he realized what she was saying. “Oh, you clever girl.”  He spoke. * The two waited in the room for what seemed like an hour. Y/n Standing beside the window where the fire escape would allow anyone who dared to enter the room.   She thought maybe the two men would come in through the window. Giving her the advantage of killing them and then going for the woman.  Jackson had left the apartment. He went walking around the building so Y/n could be ready when the woman appeared in the apartment. So Y/n patiently waited. She waited longer then an hour. Just as she was about to give up she heard a click. The lock on the window had opened. 

“Ohh”  The first man groaned as he came in through the window. His back hitting the window. He was quite big, barely fitting in through the window. 

He stood up straight popping his back from where he had bent over. Y/n popped out from the shadowed corner. A wood stake held high as she plunged it through the first vampires chest. Then the second vampire came in through the window. His eyes were wide as he looked at the scene. His brother lying down dead on the ground. His gray/ blue eyes flickered red as he met Y/ns Y/E/C eyes. 

“I’m sorry, but its my job to save human from vampires.” She spoke calmly. As if she was trying to get the vampire to understand and completely give himself up. “Look here, lass. Nobody goes killin  me family wit out payin for it.”  His voice held an accent unlike the first man. He had what seemed like a deep Scottish accent. “Well, that's why I am doing what I'm doing. To stop monsters like yourself.” Y/n lunged at the man with a stake. His eyes went wide as saucers, but he swerved just barely missing the sharp end of the stick.  He pushed her, but luckily she was able to keep balance. She kicked his knee. making him fall groaning in agony. “I’m sorry, but I have to do this.”  She pinned him down, one hand holding one of his arms down. She's leaned forward putting her body weight on his arm as she brought her hand up with the wooden stake. Bringing it down quickly she pierced him through the heart. Jackson came back in the room, seeing the two bodies on the ground. “The mans here. The woman should show up at anytime.”  Jackson said as he walked around the two dead vampires. Y/n nodded as she grabbed the arm of the first vampire she had killed. “Good, now help me drag him out the way.” Y/n spoke lowly. Jackson nodded as he came over, grapping the mans feet. The two moved him over than the other one. The door opened once again and they could hear talking. “Why so nervous?” The ginger haired woman asked the man. His green eyes met her striking blue eyes and smiled. “I’m just scared were going to be caught.” Y/n didn't understand, was the young man married, did he have a girlfriend or something. “Don't worry, I'm gonna take care of that. But for now I have something special for you.”  Y/n opened the door. The woman was caught off guard making her fall. The man fell backwards. “What the hells going on?” The man asked looking at Y/n and then to the red head. “Who the hell are you?” The woman asked, pushing herself off the ground. “I'm here to take care of a little parasite problem.” Y/n said a stake in her hand she tried to stab the vampire, the vampire caught her hand. The two fell into the floor as the man approached them. “Get off her, what the hell are you doing?”  He asked Y/n, but the closer he got he noticed the blood on her clothes and the blood on her face. “What the..” “Your little girlfriend or whatever she is to you, is a vampire.” Y/n spoke trying to push the stake into the red heads chest. But the woman had enough strength to keep it from piercing her chest. “What? No!”  he gasped. “Don't listen to her, Rick. She has no clue what she's talking about.”  But the more the woman got angry the more her vampirism showed. Her eyes flashing red. Lunging to nip up  at Y/n, but as she did she practically killed herself. 

Y/n and Jackson cleaned up the bodies. Then told Rick about what had happened. He took it way better then what Y/n had thought he would. But after the night Y/n had with all the waiting and then fighting with the three vampires; she was ready to go home and get a nice hot shower then go to bed. 

A year goes by and Y/n is a properly trained slayer. Dean, Sam and Jackson trained Y/n to fight. She was great at hand-on-hand combat. (She was a Winchester nobody would have expected her to be bad.) 

Y/n had just woke up as she walked down the long corridors of the bunker. She was on her way to the kitchen to fix herself breakfast when she heard someone walking behind her. It was one of those nights where she didn't dream about an innocent human being chewed on by a vampire. 

"Mornin' kiddo." dean greeted as he walked pass his daughter walking into the kitchen. Sam was fixing pancakes as coffee brewed in the pot. "What are y'all busy bees doing?" Y/n questioned the two as she grabbed a coffee mug from the cabinet and poured herself a mug of coffee. 

"Y/n, they aren't bees. Are you okay?" The angel, Castiel, asked as he randomly walked into the kitchen. The three Winchesters laughed as Sam looked at Cas with a smile. "Cass, it's just a saying." He tried to explain as the angel was getting even more confused. "Why is that a saying? Neither of you resemble bees." Cass says making Y/n laugh. "The saying means they are busy like bees. Going all over the kitchen super fast." Y/n tried to explain what her uncle briefly explained. Cass nodded sort of understanding what the saying was meaning. "Is there any cases?" Y/n asked as she stole a piece of her dads bacon. Dean glared at Y/n as Sam typed on his computer before he bean talking. Y/n stuck her tongue out at her dad as she sat beside Cas at the table. "We do." Sam started as he clicked on random pages on his computer. "Check this out. There's been a handful of deaths outside of  Richmond, Virginia. All off the victims in between the age of 17 and 27. Cause of death, heart ripped out of their chest.  Yet, Something has been draining the blood of the victims after death. Without leaving any puncture wounds. Autopsies say the cause of death was unknown. Bruises were randomly found on the victims. But the weird thing is some of them were missing something.." Y/n and Dean looked at Sam confused. Neither of them knowing what Sam was going to say. "The heart was missing." Y/n looked at her uncle and gave him a knowing look. "Werewolf, easily. But the drained blood still sounds like a vampire." she spoke, as she took the computer from her uncle and read the website herself. "Maybe a vampire and a werewolf are working together?" Dean offered as he eats his breakfast. "That or maybe a vampire trying to act as a werewolf to throw hunters off its trail." Cass spoke in his deep voice. "Alright, pack up we leave in 15 minutes." Dean says as he gets up. His finished plate in the sink to be washed. Y/n, Sam and Dean on the way to their rooms to pack up their things. A week into the case. "Alright, we've talked to everyone connected to the case and still we have nothing." Dean groans as he lays on the hotel bed upset. "We've talked to them, but maybe we need to get to know them to get them to spill something." Sam says, sharing a look with his brother than to his niece. Y/n looked up from her lore book confused. "What? Youve gotta be kidding me?" She questioned. Sam and Dean looked at each other and then to Y/n. Clearly neither one of them were saying anything. The two brothers were just giving Y/n a look that told her that she was going to be the one they needed to use for information. "No! no no no no no. DO I need to spell it out for you N-O!" Y/n says as he uncle hands her a book bag and a "Transfer note". "You want me to go to school?" Y/n bellowed looking at her uncle and father with a deadly look in her Y/e/c eyes. "Look, sweetheart. We know you are going to be the smartest person in the school.." Dean trailed off waiting for Sam to help him out. "Let me elaborate," Sam starts as he looks at his niece with puppy eyes. (Yall know what I'm talkin about). "-We just want you to go to school get to know some people. Enough to gain their trust and have them spill their secrets. Enough so that We can figure out who is behind the deaths." "What makes you think its a teenager?" We don't, this is the only way to find out."  "Fine. But you two owe me." She groans, taking the book bag and note from her uncle. The school looks just like any other school. Big, annoying and sort of resembling a prison for children The school had two different levels.  It was quite big, but Y/n didn't care. Hundreds of teenagers crowds the hallways and the court yard. Y/n really didn't want to go to high school. She never had a good experience in school. Being in a hunting family meant never staying in one place for too long. She just home school herself, if she didn't know how to do something she would just ask her dad or uncle. She was quite smart for her age. Sometimes even out smarting her uncle and father. Y/n was staring out of the window starring at the school when they pulled up. All kinds of students and staff were starring at the black Impala. Dean tapped on her jean jacket clad shoulder to catch her attention. "Here's your schedule." Dean spoke softly. His eyes soft as he seen the anxiousness in his daughters Y/e/c eyes. The Y/e/c eyes that she had inherited by her mom. Dean didn't really understand why she was so stressed out. Sure, it was a new school. She would have to get to know the people there. Deal with bullies, annoying preppy cheerleaders, jocks, drug addicts, and possibly a vampire or werewolf. But Dean knew his daughter could take care of herself. But one thing that Dean didn't think about was teenage boys. He didn't think that he would have to worry about it. But the moment he walked Y/n into the school he could see school he could see a handful of teenagers already looking at Y/n. "Okay, you got this. You don't need to worry about anything." Y/n rolled her eyes at her father, fixing her gray bookbag back on her shoulder. "Sure, that's real assuring. I just don't need to worry. You know just because you tell someone to call down or that "they don't need to worry about anything" doesn't automatically calm them down. Sometimes it just stresses them out even more!" She rambled quickly. Dean looked at his daughter bewildered. He had no clue what happened to his confident daughter. Usually, Y/n was confident, outgoing (in a good way), smart, and optimistic. But looking at his daughter right now she was polar opposite. "Alright, tell me. What's wrong?" He asked sincerely. Y/n sighed, trying to feel less anxious, but breathing deeply wasn't working too well. "Dad, every time I get put into school I cant fit in. Hell, I don't fit in anywhere. When I go to my classes I'll be fresh meat. Everyone will be either making fun of me or wondering who the knew student is. But the thing is I will have to make friends. Earn some of these peoples trust and maybe, possibly have to gank them." She said the last part in a low whisper. So low dean had barely heard her from the busy corridor. Dean pulled his daughter into a tight hug. She could physically feel the some of the anxiety lift. Not all of it, but some. "Look, if you don't want to do this we can figure something out. I'm not gonna force this on you, okay?" Y/n nodded, looking at her father before looking around her. "How about this," he started as he wiped his face with his hands. Trying to figure something out. "Alright, you stay in school for a couple days. If you still feel anxious about it you don't have to go no more. I guess somehow I can get in and get to know some of these kids. I might have to be a gym teacher again.. and where them shorts." (you shiver disgusted thinking about that time your father wore those tiny shorts, kind of making you gag a little.) "No! No, I got this. I don't think we need to traumatized any kids." She shouted quickly. She felt like she was being weak. (Even though she wasnt. She was one of the strongest people Dean and Sam have ever known.) Good, because those shorts were so tight! Y/n laughed at her father for over exaggerating.   The school bell ring and Y/n have her father a tight lipped smile. Alright, kiddo. You got this. Have a good day. He gave his daughter a hug and a small peck on her hair line. Love ya, kid. Love you too dad. Y/n watched her father leave then tried to find her locker. Putting the books she didnt need in the locker and keeping the books she would need. Y/ns hands were shaking anxiously. She hated that she was anxious. She was always better around people older or younger then her. Never with people her own age. These days teenagers her judge mental, inappropriate, assholes. Completely different then her. Y/n was on her way to first period, Mr. James, American history class. Room 381. She spent quite a while searching for the class until she ran into something hard. Great, perfect first day Y/n running into people. A boy, who looks like her grade. He was tall looking down just a bit as he looked at Y/n. Y/n had to swallow the gasp she had when she seen his beautiful eyes. One an honey brown with what seemed to be gold flakes in them if you looked at them close enough. His iris a silver blue with a tent of green around the pupil. His eyes stood out with his dark, jet black hair. His skin a deep tan color. He wore blue jeans, gray sneakers and a AC/DC t-shirt on. Im so sorry. I didnt mean to bump  into you. I-I was looking at my schedule and just wasnt paying attention. Y/n rambled, what seemed to be her knew thing to do. His smile made Y/n blush, she looked down at her feet and then back to the boy a moment later. Oh, its fine! Youre new arent you? I think I wouldve remembered someone like you. Y/n tried to conceal the blush creeping up her neck. Her ears were red hot. I am new. My dad just got a job here. The boy nodded listening to Y/n with a smile on his face. Sorry, where are my manners. My name is Blake. Im in 10th grade. What grade are you? He asked, the two began to walk down the hall. 10th, my first class is history. Do you know where that is? Blake smiled and nodded. Yeah, thats my first class. Come on, Ill go show you. They walked into the history class right as it was about to start. Everyone staring  at the two. The teacher mr. James smiled as he welcomed them. Mr. Williams, whos your friend here? Y/n smiled as she walked up to her new history teacher. Y/n Winchester, Im a new student. She spoke politely handing him her transfer note. Welcome Miss. Winchester. Im glad to have you in my class. Pick an open seat. The teacher smiled as he put the transfer note in his desk then moved to the board in the front of the class. Y/n sat beside Blake and beside a Red haired girl. Im Claire, Claire Stevens. Im the class president. A boy snickered and she turned to the kid. Youre not class president. Nobodys voted yet. And even if they did theyd vote for me not you. Said a red headed boy who looked very similar to Claire excepts he had glasses. Thats my brother Keith. His my twin. -Older twin. He butted into the conversation. And I will be the class president, not Claire. He smiled proudly. Okay, whatever. Claire said pulling back the attention. You should totally vote for me when its time. Claire whispered. Anyway, welcome to the Temple high school. I hope you like it. If you need anyone to show you around Id be happy to help you out. Claire spoke softly so Mr. Williams wouldnt get after them for talking. Miss. Stevens Can you tell me when World War Two began? Mr. Williams called Claire as he continued to write on the board with perfect cursive writing. Umm.... September 1, 1939? She spoke unsure if she was correct. Thats right. You shouldnt question yourself. Most the time youre right until you second guess yourself. Claire nodded. Eventually the class ended and everyone left the class. Blake, Claire, and Keith walked out the class together. Claire holding onto Y/ns arms as she points out all the classes. Keith and Blake were talking when suddenly Claire stopped rambling. Who are they? Y/n asked looking at a group of what she would refer to as the mean girls group. Well the one wearing all pink is Claires ex-best friend, Jenna Harris. She stole Claires boyfriend from her. Its a long story for another day. Keith spoke as he pulled his sister into another hall they had to go down. Id just stay away from that group anyway. Theyre crazy. Blake said as he slung his arm around Y/ns shoulder. Y/n nodded as she followed her newly made friends down the hall. So, Y/n where are you from? Claire asked. Lawrence Kansas. Y/n answered with a smile. My dad, uncle and I moved up here for their work. Y/n added before they could get the question out. Oh? What kind of work do they do? Well, theyre detectives, but my uncle went to school to be lawyer years ago. Are they in town for those strange murders? Keith asked Y/n. His voice seemed to shake just a small bit making Y/n think maybe he had something to do with the murders. I think so, from what Ive pieced together theyre here for the murders. But they can tell me too much, You know. Y/n answer nonchalant. The bell rung and Claire showed Y/n to their English class with Mr. Stone. Blake and Keith went to their math class. As the day went on Y/n got to know these three people. They seemed to make great friends. Y/n learned Claire and Keith parents are divorced. They live three miles from the school; so they walk to school most of the time. Keith was worried about being murdered is why he was anxious about asking Y/n if her family moved there for the case. She learned that Blake was single. Not that she needed to know that, but Claire kept telling her that she and Blake would make a good couple. She learned he doesnt live too far from the motel that she and her family were staying in. He has two younger siblings and his parents are together. She also learned hay that he wants to be a detective when he graduates. Finally the last bell rings and Y/n, Blake and another boy whos name is Tyrese left the class together. Y/n learned Tyrese was a good friend of Blakes. So youre a good friend of Blakes? Y/n asked as the three walked to their lockers. Yeah, you can say that. Weve only been practically brothers since kindergarten. Tyrese spoke as he grabbed his books from his locker and put them in his book bag. Oh.. y/n nodded. Thats cool. She added as she too put her books in her book bag. Yup, me and him have been through everything together. His folks took me in when my parents died. Ever since then me and him have been inseparable. Brothers not lovers if thats what you were thinking. Y/n shook her head with a chuckle. No, thats not what I was thinking. I was just thinking how nice it is to have close friends. Tyrese looked at Y/n confused. You dont have any? Its kinda hard to make friends when youre moving all the time. Ive never been in one school long enough. My dad and my uncle makes us move around a lot for their work. Tyrese nodded understanding what she was saying. Well, you dont have to worry about not having any friends. Im your friend now. So is Blake, Claire and Keith. He smiled brightly at y/n. Thanks. She smiled and Tyrese nodded. Its no problem. Y/n, is he talking your ear off? Blake asked, who just came over from his locker. Oh, no. Were just getting to know each other. Y/n explained with a small (friendly) smile. Oh, god. He talked your ear off. Blake joked as he turned to his brother. Man, you gotta learn to stop talking so much. Y/n shook her head as she closed her locker. Y/ns phone dinged signaling a texts from someone. That someone was her dad, just letting her know he was there to pick her up. Tyrese and Blake walked with Y/n out of the school to the Impala, coincidently they parked right beside the black beauty of a car.   This your ride? Blake asked as they walked up to the 67 Impala. Yup, this is my dads baby. Y/n spoke with a smile as she looked at the car which held many memories. Dean looked up seeing his daughter with two boys. Instinctively he got out of the car to get Sticky teenage boys away from his baby. Hey, kiddo. Dean greeted his daughter as he got out the car. His arms crossed in a protective manner. Dad, this is Blake and his friend Tyrese. Blake, Tyrese this is my dad Dean. Y/n introduced them to each other. Nice to meet you sir. Blake said holding his hand out to shake Deans. Yeah.. Dean looked at Blake suspiciously. Well, you ready kiddo? Y/n nodded as she fixed the bag on her shoulder. Ill see you guys tomorrow. Y/n said as dean opened the front door for his daughter. Yeah, bye  Blake and Tyrese spoke as they waved at Y/n and then to dean who was glaring. Dude, you totally have a crush on her. Tyrese playful pushed Blake as he blushed. Blake shook his head as he smiled. Yeah, I do. *** Weeks passed and Y/n got to know the friend group better. She and Claire had became great friends. She would go over to Claires house to study together or just hang out. She tried to see if there was any chance Claire or her brother couldve been the murderer. But neither one showed signs of being vampire or werewolf. Y/n was happy to know that. She didnt want to have to kill her new friends. She, Blake and Tyrese were also close. She was closer with Blake then anyone else. She would go to their football games and cheer them on. She learned vampires are what killed Tyrese's' Parents. She wondered if maybe the people that killed his parents are the same people who are killing people now. "Y/n! You coming to the football game tonight?" Claire asked Y/n as she walked down the hall on her way to her Science class. "Umm, I didn't there was a football game tonight." Y/n said as she held her books to her chest turning to one of her best friends. "Well, there is. and a very special person is playing tonight. A very special quarter back. One that you are gonna marry one day." Y/n shook her head as she blushed.  "Who's marrying who one day?" Blake asked as he threw his arm over his girlfriends shoulder. "Y/n here is gonna marry the number one quarter back." Claire smiled as she looked at Blake with a smile. "Well, Y/n I didn't know you were gonna marry me." Tyrese said with a smile as he leaned over. Playfully kissing her forehead. "Ha. HA." Blake sarcastically laughed as he pulled his girlfriend closer to him. "Sorry, but Y/ns mine. Your gonna have to fight me for her." Blake said with a smile as he playfully held his hands up. Y/n giggled as she hugged Blake placing a kiss on his cheek as she smiled. "We better get to science class before we're late." Claire smiled at Y/n as they began walking to science. Y/n and Claire were hanging out at Claires house when it was time for the football game. The two of them dressed in the school colors as they left Claires house on their way to the game. "Okay, so I have y'alls wedding planed already. Its gonna be a June wedding." Claire started as she and Y/n walked on the sidewalk. "Oh my God! We're not even 18!" Y/n exclaimed with a big smile on her face. "Well, you guys are practically in love." Claire told Y/n as they walked down the sidewalk together. "Umm, I won't deny that, but still. I think its a bit too soon to be thinking about a June wedding." Y/n laughed looking at her friend. "Well doesn't every teenage girl think about their wedding? I mean as your girl best friend I of course will be your maid of honor." Y/n smiled as she looks at her friend. "Of course You will." Y/n smiled as she cheered on her boyfriend playing. Everyone in the stands could feel the exciting energy. The game is a close one 28- 28 with 3 minutes left on the clock. The people in the stands cheering on their team ready to party with the winning team. Y/n and Claire cheered Tyrese and Blake on as the ran down the field passing the football and running. The opposite team trying to catch Blake who had the football. "Run!!" Claire scream as the clock was down to the last 30 seconds of the game. Just as the timer hit 0 he scored. Winning the game. The whole crowd went wild! Y/n and Claire held each other while jumping up and down screaming in excitement. "They won!" They screamed in union. They waited for the crowd to die down until they could easily get to Tyrese and Blake. "You did it!" Y/n smiled as she hugged her sweaty boyfriend. "And you're grossly sweaty." Blake laughed as he kissed his girlfriend. "We won. of course I'm gonna be sweaty." "Well, why don't you guys clean up and shower then we'll go celebrate at the diner." Y/n said as She unraveled herself from her boyfriends sweaty arms. That night they all celebrated at a diner. They were all happy. Enjoying the time they had together. Y/n loved having friends. She just couldn't imagine leaving her friends when the time comes. A year went by and luckily they stayed in town. Sam and Dean decided they were just gonna stay until her senior year.

A year later- Y/n woke up to the sound of her phone ringing. She grabbed her phone not even looking to see who the caller was. "Hello?" She mumbles into the phone sleep present in her voice. "Y/n?"  A shaky  voice said into the phone. "Blake?" Y/n asked jumping up worried. "Y/n, you need to help us."  Y/n got up throwing some clothes in as she listened to her boyfriend. "Baby, where are you? Can you tell me where you are?" Y/n asked, trying to figure out how to help. "They have us. The people that killed Tyrese parents. Y/n, babe, they aren't normal. They're monsters." Y/n listened to his trembling voice and she was on the verge of tears. "Blake, I need you to call down. I know it's hard, trust me I really do. Can you tell me where you are?" She listened as the phone went quiet. She couldn't hear him not until she heard a blood curdling scream. "Hi there, Y/n." A voice said into the phone. "If you want your boyfriend and friends out alive meet me at the old middle school. You'll know where it is." "How can I trust you? I need to know they're all okay!" Silence. "Listen you stupid fucking bitch! Tell me they're okay and what you want!!" Y/n screams into the phone. Sam and Dean burst into the room seeing y/n in the room full on panicking. Y/n puts the phone on speaker. "Y/n?" It's all of their voices. "Help us! She's gonna kill us!!"  Dean grabbed the phone from his daughter and starts talking to whoever's on the phone. "Listen you sick son of a bitch. We're gonna find you and kill you. Alright, those kids are gonna come out of this alive. You not so much."

Y/n tried to calm down. She grabbed all the things she needed. Wooden stakes, knifes, her gun she perfected with wooden bullets, one of her favorite type of weapons she's made. Y/n hoped that she would get there in time. She's lost too many people in her life. Too many, and she doesn't want to lose anymore. Especially the ones who are close to her. Y/n got in the Impala, dean shot gun and Sam in the back. (She got to the drivers seat first before dean could). Y/n cranked the car and sped of, tires squalling as she sped out from the motel parking lot towards the old middle school.   "Alright, we need a plan. We can't just go in guns a blazin'." Sam said as he leaned over the back seat. Y/n tapped her fingers anxiously on the steering wheel. Her Y/e/c eyes scanning the road cautiously as she drove. silently praying no cops would pull her over for speeding so she could save her close friends lives. "We find the middle school. You and dad will follow behind me until we're inside. We'll split off and search for them. Whoever finds them kills the bitch who has them. But make sure were safe about it. Most of the time vampires stay with their nest. So they're most likely with two or more other vampires. Look, if you run into a vampire you have to stake them. They're not like the normal vampires you guys kill. These are different. You have to stake them, not cut they're heads off." Y/n explains as she slammed on breaks finally at the middle school. "Okay, I think we understand." Sam spoke softly nodding as he looked at his frighten niece. "Look, I know this isn't the best time. But honey, you have to be prepared for this. You don't know what-" "Don't" Y/n cut Sam off. "Don't say what I know you're gonna say. I-I don't want to hear it. So, lets just get out and go help my friends before.." She couldn't even finish what she was going to say. She just needs to help her friends. She cares too much to lose anyone else. Y/n grabs the wooden stakes from the trunks hatch, giving some to both Dean and Sam. Y/n placed her pistol on her side, after making sure she had her wooden bullets inside of it. She also made sure she had her other gun on her thigh holster. That gun kept silver bullets inside of it. She was thought it was a vampire, but was going to be prepared if it was a werewolf too. "Alright," She says clicking on her flashlight. "lets go." Sam and dean follow Y/n in, both with their guns in hand. "Split up, it'll be faster if we do." Y/n said while the entered the school. Dean and Sam shared a worried look but did as Y/n said. Y/n went straight down the hall, Dean went left and Sam to the right. Y/n said a silent prayer as she went into the office into the small rooms. Checking each room searching for the friends she considered family. The family she loved dearly. They continued through the school when Y/n heard screaming. She ran through the halls following the screaming. "Y/n! Help!" She heard the Screams of Claire and Keith. She speed down the hall coming to a stop at the boiler room. (Its always at the boiler room SMH) Y/n grabbed her pistol with the silver bullets in it and held a wooden stake in the other. She burst through the door and pointed the gun around. "Ahh, Y/n, welcome to the slaughter party." Y/n looked up to see a red eyed vampire. "Are you kidding me?" Y/n asked as lunged at the vampire, right as she was about to kill the vampire he moved over. The vampire  moved the stake out of the way punching Y/n as he tried to kick her. Y/n moved backwards before he could kick her.  "You don't get to mess with my friends." Y/n said through gritted teeth. Punching the male vampire hard enough it split the vampires lip. The vampire laughed at Y/n as she continued punching him until he was choking on blood. "You stupid, brat." he smirked as he shook his head. "I don't have your friends. You're wasting valuable time." Y/n shook her head as he eyes were wide. She staked the vampire. Her phone rang, her dad was calling. "Hey, there's noise coming from the gym. We think they're in there. We didn't find anything. Its the only room left inside the school we haven't checked." Y/n nodded until she remembered her father couldn't hear her. "I'm on my way." She ran as fast as she could. She could hear the screams of her friends and then there was another scream. Her dad and uncle. She finally made it to the gym when she seen a vampire draining the blood of Keith. Sobbing out a cry she burst into the gym. She could see a vampire holding onto her dad and uncle. "Put him down." Y/n said as she pointed the gun at the monster in front of her.  The vampire smiled as it stopped drinking Keith's blood. "Okay." The vampire smiled, Keith dropped down to the floor. Currently losing more blood, well what was left of his blood. Y/n shot the vampire with the wooden bullet. The vampire fell to the ground dead. Y/n quickly turned around to see her father and uncle being held back by vampires. Each with a sorrowful look on their faces. "I'm sorry, we couldn't save them." Y/n had no clue what her dad was talking about till her eyes caught a glimpse of crimson liquid on the ground. "No," She gasped looking down at the bodies behind her dad and uncle with the vampire behind them too. "What are you going to kill me? The only way to kill me is to kill your dad or your uncle." The man smiled as he looked at Y/n. "I can't." Y/n cried, shaking her head. Dean looked at his daughter as tears were brimming his jade green eyes. Sam too was on the verge of tears. "Just do it. Its okay." Y/n shook her head as she tried to think of an other option. "I can't, daddy." she cried looking at her dad as he body shook as she sobbed. "Yes, you can." "Awe, how cute. A little father daughter moment. But, its not gonna last. I'm giving you just a minute before I kill them." Y/n shook her head as she smiled. "No, you're not." Y/n smirked. Her gun held up as she pointed the gun at the vampires head. "You see, If I have learned anything about being a Winchester. I can say I have learned this. Usually when you shoot someone in the head it fucking hurts." Just as Y/n finished saying that she pulled the trigger. The wooden bullet going straight through the vampires head. Releasing Sam and dean from his tight grip. Giving y/n a chance to shoot the vampire through the heart. Finally killing the vampire. Sam and dean moved the bodies of the vampires as Y/n walked over to her friends. They were leaned up against the wall, covered in blood, and had been drained out of blood. Sobs racked Y/ns body as she seen the bruises on their bodies, showing how they had fought for their lives. Y/n fell to her knees as she sobbed. She could barely breath as she looked at her dead friends. "Y/n." She heard a voice mumble. turning her head she seen Blake smile. "You're here." He spoke softly as tears ran down his face. "I'm here, baby." She cried as she crawled over to him pulling him carefully into her arms. "I'm so sorry I didn't get here soon enough. I was too late." She cried. Blake shook his head as he took his cold, bloody hand wiping the tears from Y/ns face. "This isn't your fought. You couldn't control this. You can't control this." Y/n shook her head as she leaned her head against his. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. I should've been there. I could've saved you. I could've saved all of you. If I would've known. If I.." Blake chuckled as he shook his head. "There's no what ifs Y/n." Blakes voice was slurring as he slowly losing more blood. Y/n cried as she kissed his forehead. "I don't want to lose you." She cried. He nodded he began to cry. "Listen to me." Blake started as he looked at Y/n through tears. "It was never your fought. You have to believe me." Y/n nodded as she cried. "I just don't want to lose anyone else." She whispered against his head. "You're not. Baby, look. I want you to know, no matter what happens I will never blame you for what's happened. You didn't cause this." Y/n cried as she nodded she was listening but not listening. She was tired of losing people, but being a Winchester had its baggage. She lost her dad and uncle probably more than ten times. She's lost Bobby, Ellen, Joe, Kevin (who was like her brother),  John her grandfather who was a dick, but still. There's more people she's lost, but she was just tired of losing all of her family. "I-I want you t-to promise me s-something." His voice was shaking as he started to lose more and more blood. "When I-I die." He stuttered, "no" Y/n shook her head not wanting to come to the fact she was going to lose the guy she loved. "It's gonna happen baby." He spoke softly. "I want-t you to remember me when I'm gone. But you have to promise me, promise me you'll move on." He cried as he moved his hands from hers to his left ring finger. His class ring. "I want you to have this. To have a small token of me while I'm gone." He placed his class ring on her finger making her sadly smile. "Have your June wedding with someone who loves you more than anything in the world. But most of all. You'll save hundreds of people. You might not be able to save everyone, but you can't let that get in your way. You have to believe in yourself." There was a short pause as he started coughing, slowly slipping away. "I love-e you, Y/n Winchester." He spoke as he leaned up kissing her one final time. "I love you too." She cried as she felt him take his final breath. She sobbed as she held onto his lifeless body. Unable to do anything besides scream for help. Sam and Dean walked into the room watching as Y/n and Blake had their last moments together. Y/n cried, sobbed, screamed as she held onto Blakes lifeless body. They walked over to Y/n pulling her into their arms as she sobbed. The two of them feeling her pain. They knew what she was feeling because they have been through it their whole lives. Being a hunter brings hurt and death. But most of all being a Winchester had its burdens, but they were there for each other. They care for each other and they love each other. There for each other through everything. Whatever came up, they would always protect each other. They let the families bury the dead, but at night they salt and burned the bodies making sure they wouldn't come back as spirits. Y/n may be broken, but she had her family. They will help her get back to normal. Whatever normal it. Whatever its going to be. She's going to always have a piece of herself gone, but one day that piece might be mended. Hopefully one day, she'll meet her one true love. The one who will love her more than anything in the world, give her the dream wedding she wanted. The June wedding she'll have. With the people she loves. One day, things will be better. But for now, she's gonna keep kicking. She's going to keep killing monsters saving people, hunting things. You know the family business.

[gray-is-neutral]

Finale

I posted this on my ao3. I’m super proud of it for the time being. Tell me what y’all think! :) It’s another fix it fic and this is part one.

Pt. 1 The Truth.

Billie was minutes away from breaking through the door. Nothing could stop her. I knew that; Cas knew that too. I felt hopelessness cloud my mind. I thought of all the people I failed. Sam, Charlie, Jack, but most of all, I failed Cas. That was the hardest part of this. I didn’t mind dying, but I didn’t want to drag anyone down with me. Least especially Cas.

“It was Chuck all along,” I said, the realization setting in. My brain was scattered as I panicked. The oxygen wasn’t going to my brain. I could hardly breath. “We should have never left Sam and Jack. We should be with them,” I choked.

I saw the fear and dread in Cas’ eyes. He was panicking himself, trying to find a solution to this when there was none. There was no way out of this. She was going to get through that door. We were going to die. I saw images of what she would do to Cas because she would have to kill him first. He was the angel. I would only be able to watch. We wouldn’t even end up in the same place. He’d go to the Empty and I’d go, who knows where.

“She’s going to break through that door,” I said, unsure how to deal with this sickening reality.

“I know.” Cas’ voice was like a whisper. It was like he was struggling with the words. I understood because I was too. How is one supposed to deal with the idea of imminent death? Death was quite literally knocking at the door.

“And she’s going to kill you, then she is going to kill me.” I was so tired. So so tired, but I still don’t want to die at the hands of Billie or Chuck. That would just give them another win, and I was sick of playing into Chuck’s hand.

“Cas I’m sorry.” And I was. I was sorry for everything. This was my fault. I was sorry for the way I have treated him for the last several years. I was sorry for the times I made him choose. I was sorry for the times he chose me. I was so beyond sorry.

“There is one thing that she is afraid of,” Cas’ voice had a hint of hope. It wasn’t a good feeling though. It was like it was a hope that resides by an unexplainable sorrow.

“There is one thing strong enough to stop her,” he continued, looking me in my eyes, his tears didn’t stop filling his eyes, but his hopelessness was replaced by determination, like he already knew what he was going to do. That scared me more than Billie.

“When Jack was dying, I made a deal to save him. The price was my life. When I experienced a moment of true happiness, the Empty would be summoned, and it would take me forever.”

No no no no. No please not now. Cas please, I prayed.

“Why are you telling me this now?”

I only was able to process bits of what he said.

“I wondered what my true happiness could even look like….. because the one thing I want, I know I can’t have…...happiness isn’t in having, it’s in being, just saying it.”

He was saying too much for me to understand at once. I couldn’t wrap my head around it.

“What are you talking about man?”

“I know how you see yourself Dean. You see yourself as our enemies see you…...Daddy’s blunt instrument…..hate and anger, you think that’s what drives you……..”

Cas no. Please don’t. Please.

“Everything you’ve done, good or bad, you did out of love…...that’s who you are……...caring man on Earth…...selfless loving human being…….ever since I pulled you out of Hell…...changed me.”

His tears flowed freely. My head was pounding. I couldn’t breathe.

“Because you cared, I cared……….cared about you…….Sam…..Jack…..the whole world because of you.”

I never thought that my heart could feel this broken. Could be this shattered, but so selfishly hopeful.

“You changed me Dean.”

“Why does this sound like a goodbye?” Please don’t let this be goodbye.

“Because it is.”

No. No. No. No. No.

“I love you.”

There was silence for a minute. I hoped that maybe happiness wasn’t in just saying it. It was selfish, but I hoped and prayed that him just confessing his love to me wouldn’t be enough.

It was wrong, but I hoped this wouldn’t be complete without an, “I love you too.”

“Don’t do this,” I begged.

Please forgive me. Please don’t go. Please don’t please, please no.

Apparently my prayers went ignored because the Empty came any way as Billie burst through. It instantly consumed her.

It started to cover Cas too. Was this really it? Our last goodbye? No it couldn’t be. I still had so much to tell him. So much I wanted to do with him. I wanted to scream. What about Jack? What about Sam? Are you okay with leaving them?

He would be. I knew that. Sam and Jack are strong. They aren’t kids anymore. They don’t need a babysitter. They don’t need Cas. They don’t need me either.

I’m not sure if it was the lack of oxygen, but I had made up my mind. I was not about to let Cas die for me alone again. Never again. I rushed to him and gripped him tightly. I guess the Empty knew I didn’t belong there because it slowed it’s progression.

“Dean!” Cas’ panic grew. “Let go,” he demanded.

“Never. I won’t ever let you go,” I said.

“Please, before the Empty consumes you too.” He was sobbing, trying to push me away, but his angel mojo was gone, the Empty took that to keep him docile. I hung on tight as I could.

“No. I’m not letting you go. I’m going with you. You aren’t dying alone again. I cannot lose you again. Never again, Cas!” My own tears mixed with slowly progressing black goo of death, but I wasn’t afraid. I was with Cas. He has always been my protector. My angel. He deserved a life, if not a life, then I would give him my love instead. He deserved that much at least.

I planted a kiss on his lips, it was hesitant at first. Eventually, his hands pulled my face closer, and he kissed me back. I moved my grip to his waist as the Empty consumed us together.

I couldn’t breath at first, but I didn’t care. I would rather die from suffocating from Cas’ kiss than drowning in the Empty.

When Cas stopped so I could breath. I gasped for air. After I caught my breath, I looked around. Nothing, vast, infinite nothing. The only thing I could see was Cas. It was infinitely dark, and cold, but I didn’t shiver.

I let the weight of what we did settle in my brain. We won. I was with Cas, and not with Sam, playing out Chuck’s Cain and Able fantasy if I’m not with Sam. We finally said the biggest fuck you to Chuck’s plan. We finally had free will.

Once he let me go, he punched me in the gut and sent me three feet in the other direction. I doubled over, unable to breath.

“What have you done?” Cas’ voice was angry. “Do you know that you’re stuck here forever?” his voice boomed in the silence.

“I do, and I don’t care,” I said, slightly drowsy. I struggled to stand, so he came to me. He got on his knees, and I caressed his face.

“You should care!” he cried into the abyss. “What about Jack and Sam? What about the world? What about everyone? Why did you follow me here?”

I was struggling to stand, I was so, so tired. I needed to....tell him.....he deserved an answer. He walked to me. He was still crying. I smiled at him to let him know that I was okay. I was okay with this ending as long as I told him. He spoke his truth, it was my turn now. He looked down at me. He tried to manage a smile.

“Do you know what happens now?” he asked, getting on his knees to meet me.

“No,” I yawned. “Tell me.” My body felt like lead.

“We sleep. Forever.” He looked at me. “No one will come for us. The only way out is if it lets us out, and I don’t think it will this time.” His voice a whisper.

“I figured that much Cas,” I said. “I need to tell you-“

“No,” said Cas. “No. I’m not-” a dramatic yawn cut him off. “-giving up yet. Not when there is still a chance that-”

“Cas. Stop,” I said, words getting harder. I wanted to panic. To tell him to shut the fuck up and listen, but my body wasn’t listening. I was so tired.

“L-listen. About before. I’m sorry,” I said, unable to keep my head up.

“You can’t fight it, can you?” his voice was warm, calming me against my will.

“No,” I confirmed only able to respond in one word sentences.

“I’m. So. I’m. So. So. Sorry,” I was struggling.

He laid my head in his lap. “I’ll watch over you,” he said, removing his trench coat and covering me in it.

No, I prayed. No, Cas I have so much to tell you. No. No .

I was drifting. My breath became deep against my will. My body no longer responded to anything I told it.

“Cas, I-” I couldn’t finish that thought. Cas please. You deserve to know. You deserve love. You deserve. You, I tried to pray but my head was going black.

“I know.” He kissed my ear and whispered something.

I’m sure it was beautiful, but I’ll never know.

[softschofield]

i’m so perpetually frustrated with the audience members who criticise 1917 for having “no backstory or development for the characters”

like, yes, it’s subtle. because they’re friends and friends don’t talk to each other like “oh, yes, remember all these details of my life i’m conveniently and clearly reiterating for an omniscient third party?” but fuck dude, if you pay attention and know basic facts about war or do your goddam research, there is SO MUCH DETAIL TO THEIR BACKSTORIES

like, just from one TINY DETAIL, you get so much: schofield’s wounded stripe on the left sleeve of his uniform. to get a wounded stripe in world war 1, you had to be officially listed in dispatches as being a CASUALTY, not just having been in a field hospital, meaning the wound was BAD. but, wait, what kind of wound could be so well-hidden and subtle? it could be a gunshot wound or trenchfoot, but there were also two categories that could earn a soldier the wounded stripe: gas, or shellshock. it’s therefore entirely possible that he was suffering from trauma rather than a physical wound before he met blake. given that 60,000 rounds of field artillery and 45,000 rounds of heavy artillery were fired in the first DAY of fighting, and one german described the experience of the shelling as “the earth shook, the sky seemed like a boiling cauldron [...] the ability to think logically, and the feeling of gravity, both seemed to have been removed”, shellshock is a very plausible diagnosis.

so, we know he fought in the somme, and we know which battle he fought, meaning he had been at the front for at the very LEAST 7 months. SEVEN MONTHS. that is a LONG time to be in the trenches, and it is a STAGGERING amount of time to have withstood the horror and still come out of it soft, gentle, and compassionate - think on THAT when y’all say schofield is a flat character. think about what kind of a person could kill and see people killed and live in the constant, crushing, claustrophobic terror and boredom and nothing of the trenches for most likely LONGER than that and stay kind and quiet. NEED i say any the fuck more, NEXT

just from that, we then know that blake did NOT fight in the somme, meaning he arrived at the front some time after november 1916. and, judging by his excited and fearful reaction to the front line trench before a predicted push, there’s the distinct possibility he had never seen a battle, meaning his arrival can be placed after the 18th of december 1916 and that he was still deeply innocent.

if he arrived in december and the film begins on the 6th of april, that ALSO means that they had known each other at the most for just over 3 months, very possibly less, and that they had formed a very close bond in that time.

which brings me to my next point: where are their other friends? all the other soldiers are shown to have close-knit groups, so where are theirs? why is it only them? why are they even friends in the first place? why is blake, a new recruit who had only just arrived, already the same rank as a veteran who had been there for very possibly up to or more than a year? why is a veteran hanging around with a chattery, bushy-tailed, never-seen-battle replacement? why isn’t he hanging out with his own cohort of soldiers who has been there the same amount of time as him and could much more easily relate to his trauma and exhaustion? WHY is a middle-class-sounding guy even hanging around with a lower-class farmboy in the first place?

the most plausible answer? all of schofield’s friends he went through training with are dead - probably in the somme - and he’s purposefully isolated himself to grieve with his survivor’s guilt. he was most likely wounded, lonely, and agonisingly depressed for months until a cheerful replacement arrived at the front and befriended him. and THAT’S where schofield’s fanatic devotion to him comes from, and THAT’S what “he saved my life” means, more than in the literal sense - he was lost, and broken, and numb, and blake saved him.

furthermore, because boy have i got more, blake’s backstory, in case someone out there has seen this film and still wants to hit me with that fucking “we know nothing about these characters”: we know he has an older brother, we know he has a female dog called myrtle, we know they live with their mum in a farm in the countryside with a cherry orchard, and we know his father isn’t in the picture and that he most likely hasn’t been for a long, long time, judging by blake’s lack of bitterness and daddy issues, his closeness with his mother, and the fact he isn’t in blake’s family photo. we know, from interviews, that he enlisted as soon as he came of age because his brother was an officer and he idolised him, and we know he was barely this side of 18.

another thing? the story about wilko. blake knows stories about men schofield has almost certainly known for far longer - but he didn’t interact and wasn’t told, and blake did, and he was more familiar with all of them and had stories to tell that schofield would have known if he’d been sitting in the same circle when the gossip was told. how’s THAT for subtle characterisation, chumps.

and if you just think about it, there’s so much depth to blake’s overly trusting nature - because he’s still naive, he’s still innocent, he’s still young. schofield tucks the things most special or necessary away in his inside pocket, where’s it most safe, because he’s learned lessons the hard way; blake puts them carelessly in his trouser pockets where they could fall out. schofield keeps his rifle with him even as he’s going to fetch water for the german pilot; blake discards his rifle and leaves himself vulnerable. if you just LOOK, it’s all there!

FURTHERMORE, we know schofield is in his early 20s and older than blake. we know he has a much more refined accent, and we know from interviews that he’s from cookham, berkshire. we know he has two daughters and a wife (or a sister and nieces, it’s open to interpretation, go to town), we know he suffers from shellshock, we know he most likely couldn’t face going home on his last leave and instead stayed in france and gave his medal away to a french captain, we know the subject of home is deeply triggering for him, we know he refuses to talk about his daughters, we know that his family haunts him as much as he longs for it, and we know that he didn’t receive any mail from his wife - interesting, considering blake received a letter just telling him his dog was having puppies.

and don’t even get me started on the “lack of character development”. watch me scream here about that.

also, some more backstory because now i’m on a fucking roll: lance corporals were typically the second-in-commands or heads of sections, of which there were 4 within each platoon, each comprising 12 soldiers, it's likely blake and schofield were in command of different sections in the same platoon. where does that come into play? well, scho seemed to slip very easily into a position of authority when the convoy got stuck in the mud, didn’t he? MOVING ON.

more? i have more. another little tidbit: lieutenant leslie asks schofield and blake if they are his relief, and then asks when the fuck they’re getting there when they say they aren’t. he and his men are exhausted and it was said by another soldier that “they had been blown to hell a few nights ago” - they’ve clearly been at the front a long time, which, again, is interesting, considering front line soldiers were typically rotated back into reserve after 8 days. clearly, it’s been a lot longer than that, meaning order and routine have completely broken down and a new type of despair, hopelessness, and mess has taken root. there, more backstory again. 

“oh, it’s just a shitty saving private ryan” “oh, it’s definitely no all quiet on the western front”. FIRST OF ALL, it fucking IS all quiet on the western front, have you literally even read it? baumer goes to such lengths to hardly ever use the word enemy because he doesn’t view the soldiers in the other trenches as bad, just as other innocents swept up in a war that no one should be fighting. he spends a whole chapter sobbing over the only man he’s ever killed in close combat. it’s a hundred times slower than 1917 and it hasn’t even GOT a plot. what the FUCK are you talking about?

oh, and it’s just saving private ryan? show me WHERE. a bunch of soldiers have to go into enemy territory to rescue a soldier because all his brothers have been killed in action and his family wants him home. two soldiers are sent into enemy territory with a letter to stop an attack. i am LITERALLY struggling to think of any more similarities than that and even THOSE are fucking reaching.

also, it’s literally a different war. who are you and why are you saying these things to me i am BEGGING you to please use your fucking head for just a few seconds and actually THINK

“it was so convenient that the river just happened to take him to the devons” ??? “the river. it goes there” did you just entirely miss everything lauri told him? the river quite literally flows exactly past where he is supposed to go, that’s the entire POINT, that’s WHY he jumped into it, because he KNEW it would take him there, oh my GOD

“if the convoy was going exactly where he needed to go, why didn’t erinmore tell him to meet it?” i know it might be a shocking concept, but even a general may not have known exactly the route a convoy of trucks was going to take, especially in the confused wasteland the germans had left behind in their retreat. in fact, he might not have known about the convoy at all if they were coming from a different sector of the front - WHICH, guess what, THEY WERE. captain smith mentioned they crossed no man’s land just outside bapaume, which was much further south, in the old somme battlefields. scho and blake’s trench was somewhere near boyelles, 11km north of bapaume. 

“it’s unbelievable that scho would just sit quietly and relax in the convoy truck, and then get out to give orders and take command, after what he’d just been through - and, plus, he would have gotten to écoust quicker if he’d just walked” there’s this thing called trauma. shock. dissociating. compartmentalisation. just shutting down in the face of too much grief when you don’t have the time nor capacity to let yourself feel it, acknowledge it, register it. in the script, scho is said to “almost disappear into the noise of the men.” and, honestly, the emotional illusion of regaining a scrap of control over a situation he was utterly out of control of would have been enough to prompt him to get out and give orders - but as it is that wasn’t the only thing driving him: he was desperate, and an NCO, and he needed to go. AND “he would have gotten there quicker if he’d walked”?? ???????? first of all, he didn’t know that? second of all, scho said it would take them nine hours AT THE MOST to get there and, given the fact they weren’t attacking until dawn and it was most likely morning when he and blake set off, he wasn’t in a TERRIBLE rush. THIRD of all, it was a direct order from a captain. FOURTH OF ALL, do you really think he felt like walking all that way when a truck was RIGHT THERE?

“there are too many coincidences” films are built on coincidences. they are conveniently put with a character who will end up being their soulmate at the end of it all. they conveniently uncover information that would take people in real life months to find. coincidences drive stories - one of the greatest tools of screenwriting? “don’t write what would happen, write what could happen.” what could happen is that scho finds a teenage girl and an orphaned baby sheltering in a ruined town - in a war. what could happen is that a convoy of trucks heading north towards the battle of arras logically uses the road running alongside a farmhouse. what could happen is that scho jumps into a river that he knows runs east. i just don’t understand what you’re trying to say

“oooohh for soldiers on a life-or-death mission to save one of their brothers, they sure do take their time to sight-see” they’ve seen absolutely fucking nothing but the walls of a trench and the reserve camp for months. also, it’s pretty much just common sense to clear out a building before you turn your back on it and keep walking. also, they had 8 hours, scho ended up getting there in under two hours, and blake is allowed to feel more than one emotion at a time and to be excited about exploring new places, ESPECIALLY when it’s almost certain that neither he nor schofield had ever even been out of england. war or not, the french countryside was still beautiful and blake is allowed to appreciate that. next question 

“how was there a milk pail full of milk if there was no one around to milk the cow” german soldiers were stationed in the farmhouse before they got the order to move out. “they’re not long gone.” they left an hour before hand, someone probably milked the cow before they knew they were leaving. you don’t have to read the script to have a functioning braincell 

“unbelievable that they weren’t killed by the tripwire explosion” it detonated in the tunnels, not in the bunker. they wanted to collapse the escape routes first and foremost. please, i am begging you, use your head

“why did they pull an enemy out of the plane” basic human decency. i cannot believe i have to explain this concept. soldiers in the first world war were especially conscious of the humanity of the men in the other trench. you say blake had no character and then get mad when he’s shown to be so kind and selfless that he’ll burn himself rescuing a german. i don’t know what you want from me, get out of my kitchen 

“schofield was an idiot for stopping to interact with lauri and the baby” he was concussed. he knew there was somewhere he had to be but he didn’t remember what or where until he heard the church bells. also, for people who criticise the “lack of character development and backstory”, ya hate to see character building moments. it clearly wasn’t the first time he’s recited that poem to a baby. make the connection dipshits 

“the germans shot like fucking stormtroopers, how did they not hit him?” point one: one of them was blind drunk. when muller is ranting while scho is strangling baumer, he says that maybe they should head back and that maybe they won’t realise they’ve been missing. the implication? either they’ve gone AWOL, or they’re stragglers from the retreat back to the new line. either way, at least one, and very possibly all of them are off their fucking faces, considering the one by the burning church tripped over his own goddamn feet chasing scho. point two: not in a thousand years would they have expected a lone english soldier to just pop up out of nowhere in ecoust. it was so unexpected that you really can’t blame them for being flustered and confused.

“how the FUCK did the letter survive the river in one piece?” he put it in his tin. there’s literally an entire 30 seconds of the convoy scene just devoted to showing scho tucking it in there. i don’t understand how i have to say this

“it’s too gruesome” aside from the hand in the corpse and the dead horses, where? where? also, it’s the first world war. i can’t believe what i’m hearing. who are you people

“it’s not exciting enough, it’s slow, it’s dull” IT’S SUPPOSED TO SHOW THE CONSEQUENCES AND AFTERMATH OF WAR INSTED OF THE SHALLOW EXCITEMENT OF IT YOU DUNCE

in conclusion, suck my ASS anyone who says they didn’t have backstory or development or that there are ~raging plot holes~. FUCK

anyone who doesn’t want the actual soft and only good person in the world William Schofield to live a happy life in peace just isn’t valid and that’s all i’ll ever say on the matter you fucking degenerate scum rotten tomato reviewers

[lunetheaveragefan]

one day...

Hey, y’all! Finally, here’s chapter 4! Gosh, this has taken me so long! I’m so so so sorry. In other news, I will be going on a hiatus so I can build up some buffer chapters to prevent this from happening again. I’ll post updates on when I’ll be back, but I’m currently thinking it will be sometime around New Year’s or early January. Again, thank you all for reading! It means a lot to me!

A Sander Sides high school AU

Pairing: Prinxiety and some background Logicality

Summary: Virgil is used to being alone. He only has one friend, Logan. But when Logan makes a new friend, things begin to change as two more join their group. Roman, a boisterous theater kid, seems determined to destroy Virgil’s lonely, average life. How much will Virgil’s life change?

Warnings: Remus and Janus mentions; mentions of homophobia and bullying; references of name-calling; swearing. (If there’s anything else, let me know!)

Word Count: 2,660

okay, here’s chapter 4! (Oh, and the bold words/sentences are text messages by the way.)

--------------------------------------------------------

CHAPTER FOUR

Roman shuts the door to his car and walks inside the house. 

“I’m home!” he cries out. Feet thud on the stairs from the basement as Roman hangs his jacket on the hooks by the door. 

“Roman!” a manically shrill voice screams. Sliding across the hardwood floors around the corner comes Remus, Roman’s twin brother. Remus was a…special case. For reasons unknown, he was avidly interested in all things dark or cruel. A horrendously dirty mind and not a drop of innocence accompanied by a twisted love of morbid stories and people made Remus slightly demented, and Remus himself would be the first one to admit it. It was no wonder their parents gave up on him entirely. 

The only person who could keep Remus remotely in line was his boyfriend, Janus. Granted, Janus wasn’t the best example of a model kid, but he kept Remus from being too crazy. Roman liked Janus a decent amount and admired him for being able to put up with Remus at all, but there was something slightly off about him. The two only interacted when they needed too, and Roman was fine with that. 

“Hey, Remus,” Roman greets. “How are ya?” He feels the need to talk to his brother, show him support, since Remus doesn’t get any from their parents. Although being ignored doesn’t seem to bother Remus much, Roman tries to make an effort. 

“Fantastically fantastic!” He twirls in a circle, the tattered ends of his black trench coat flying out behind him. Roman chuckles at his brother’s antics. If only I were that free, he thinks. Before his smile can fade, Roman pastes it back on.

Before either boy can say anything else, Janus walks up the stairs and, without a single questioning glance, takes Remus by the arm. 

He must think Roman’s strained smile is due to annoyance because he says, “C’mon, Remus. Let’s go back downstairs and stop bothering your poor brother.” Remus giggles and follows Janus back downstairs, leaving Roman alone. The door shuts and the house goes quiet. 

Sighing and finally dropping the fake smile, Roman trudges to his room. He doesn’t mind that Remus gets the entire basement to himself. If they shared so much as a floor of the house, they would probably never stop arguing. Sure, they loved each other, Remus in his own backward way, but that didn’t mean they got along perfectly. 

Flopping down on his bed, Roman opens his phone to see a text from Patton. 

Sooooo are you happy you came? it reads.

Okay, okay, fine, yes, I’m glad I came, Roman responds. He bites his lip in nervousness before saying, Do you, by chance, have Virgil’s number? I would like to thank him again for helping me.

Patton’s reply is teasing, cheeky, just like a nosy father’s: Are you sure that’s the only reason you want it?

Roman chuckles before rolling his eyes at Patton's antics. Ignoring the question entirely, Roman asks, Do you have it or not?

Sadly, no, I do not. I’m afraid I cannot help your romantic pursuits this time.

Sending Patton the crying-face emoji, Roman rolls over to his back and stares at the ceiling. Maybe Virgil will talk to me tomorrow. It’s a foolish hope, and he knows that. Virgil doesn’t like Roman, and one day of studying together won’t change that. 

It’s smart to keep my feelings to myself. He hates me, and I can’t change that. It’s better to admire from afar. That’s the reason for his hesitation, or at least what Roman has convinced himself to believe. Although he’d never admit it, here’s something much deeper. Something he doesn't want to talk about. A fear he’s kept well hidden under his fake, perfect smiles that everyone buys into and the shameless flirting with every attractive person he sees and his bold, fearless stage presence year after year.

A buzz from the phone in his hand jars him out of his stupor. It’s a text from Patton.

I do have Logan’s, if you want to ask him. The text that follows contains a phone number. He hurriedly responds with a ‘thanks’ and copies the number. After making a new contact for Logan, he opens Messages again. The text should only take a few seconds to send, but Roman types his question in a million different ways, varying from borderline desperate to overly professional. Finally, he decides on the most simple one of all.

Hey, it’s Roman. Do you have Virgil’s number by chance? No explanation, no obvious signs of his crush. Straight and to the point. Even though Roman knows it’s the best way to phrase it, he still can’t make himself press send.

What if Logan figures it out? He’s the smartest kid in school, after all. What if he does have it and I text Virgil and he blocks me? What if Logan tells Virgil and they make fun of me? What if it’s a wrong number and the random person makes fun of me for my crush? 

“Dammit, Roman, get yourself together,” he mumbles, leaning his head back.

Fed up with his overthinking, Roman hovers his finger above the send button, closes his eyes, and presses down on the screen. Opening his eyes a sliver to make sure it sent, he shuts his phone off and throws it in the corner on a pile of clothes. He knows that if he keeps it next to him, he’ll obsessively check it every five seconds to see if there’s a reply. There’s homework he needs to do, for fuck’s sake.

Pulling his laptop out of his bag and opening his presentation for history, he gets to work. After a while, he forgets completely about the text. Googling the answers and finding pictures and reliable sites to use fills his thoughts, for once leaving no room for Virgil. At 11:30, once he’s done, assignment turned in with 29 minutes to spare, he grabs his phone and turns it on. 

There’s a text from Logan. 

Yes, I do have Virgil’s contact information. A string of numbers follow. His phone number. Roman’s heart flutters at the thought of being able to text Virgil.

Thanks, Roman responds. After making the second new contact of the night, making Virgil’s name just the heart-eyes emoji, he starts the agonizing process of figuring out what to say. 

“Should I just say ‘hi?’” Roman mumbles to himself, biting at his lip. “No, no, no. Then he won’t know who it is and he won’t respond. I could say ‘hi’ and who I am and then ask how he’s doing.” He nods and begins to type it in before deleting it and saying, “No! He’ll think I’m being weird! Roman, remember: he hates you. You can’t screw this up!” He groans in frustration and drops his head to his hands. “Wait, my excuse to Patton was that I wanted to say thanks again! I’ll just use that!” He types in, Hey! This is Roman. Thanks again for helping me with math today. 

“Okay, that looks good. Now, Roman, you just have to press send. It’s not that hard. Just do it.” He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Do I really want to do this? It’s just setting myself up for rejection. Yet when he pictures Virgil in his mind, purple hair falling across his face, freckles dotting his cheeks, he knows that it’s worth the risk. Taking one last deep breath, he opens his eyes.  

“Oh, shit!” he yells, throwing his phone across the room. Somehow, he’d accidentally sent the message while his eyes were closed. Curse my shaky hands. He meant to send it anyway, but still. Was not expecting it to happen so abruptly. Hands fly up to cover his mouth as he stares at the wall in shock. Roman’s mom comes in, looking concerned.

“Is everything alright, honey?” she asks, jarring Roman out of his distress. He blinks, shakes his head, and smiles crookedly. Quick, Roman, come up with an excuse! 

“Uh, I accidentally sent a text to the wrong person,” he half-lies. Please buy it. Please. Luckily, his mom chuckles.

“Okay, sweetie. Get to bed! Don’t want you to do bad in class and play, now do we?” She smiles warmly and shuts the door behind her as she leaves. 

Face falling, Roman murmurs, “Yup. Can’t have Golden Boy failing anything. What a tragedy that would be, for me to be less than perfect.” He laughs dryly and stands up to get ready for bed. He eyes his phone as he passes it on his way to his dresser, but resists the overwhelming urge to check it. Virgil’s probably asleep at this time, anyway. 

But Roman still can’t get him off his mind. 

------------------

Roman wakes up to the blaring of his alarm. It’s too early for this, he thinks, rolling over and smashing the snooze button. He’s just drifted back off to sleep when the alarm turns back on. Knowing he’ll be late if he snoozes it again, he shoves himself out of bed. 

After his shower, he picks up his phone, checking his messages. Scrolling past the notifications the play director sent out about practice, he looks for anything of interest. He’s already passed the message when his brain processes the sender.

He wasn’t hallucinating; there is a text from Virgil. Roman’s face breaks out in a smile and he sits down on the edge of his bed before falling backwards.

it was no problem, Virgil had texted last night. Another text comes in as Roman is reading the one from before.

hey if you wanted to you could come to the cafe again next week. The invitation brings a lightness to his heart. Maybe he doesn't really hate me, he thinks, goofily smiling at the ceiling.  Although the idea is uplifting, he tries to shove it down, but the hopeless romantic inside of him won’t listen. Or at least not as much as I thought he did, he compromises. p.s. logan says it’s okay too. i expected him too since he has a big fat crush on patton and you would most likely bring patton with you or patton would bring you

Roman’s jaw drops at the news. Did not see that coming. It only takes a few seconds for Virgil to say, oh shit i probably wasn’t supposed to tell you that. He’s responding when another text pops up.

i never said anything okay? 

Roman chuckles and types back, Got it, Mr... Ah dammit I can’t think of a funny nickname for you bc I’m so tired. You got anything? 

There’s an awkward moment of nothing when Virgil doesn’t reply. Roman knows that Virgil’s read it; the little words underneath the message say so. Did I say something wrong? Oh, no, he probably thinks I wanted a nickname to make fun of him! He facepalms at his stupidness. Wanting to make things right, Roman frantically tried to come up with what to say, but nothing sounds right. Before he can say anything, Virgil finally replies. 

idk i’m not a big fan of nicknames 

Remembering all those days when Roman used nicknames for the wrong reason, he winces. I was such a dumbass in middle school. 

Oh right. Feeling like he has to say something more, Roman gathers all his courage. 

Look I’m sorry about how shitty I was to you in middle school. It’s no excuse but I did it cause I was going through some stuff at home. Course that doesn’t make it right but I figured you’d like to know where I was coming from, he explains. Heart racing, he wonders what Virgil will say. He’s never admitted the reason behind his terrible behavior in middle school to anyone but Patton. Trouble had no place in his life. Everyone expected perfection, so that’s what he had to show. 

Lost in his thoughts, Roman didn’t notice Virgil’s reply at first. 

oh was all it said. A moment later, another text appeared. are things better? Roman wants to say no, tell him about the pressure, the expectations, the disappointment. There’s something about Virgil that feels trustworthy to Roman. He wants to tell him everything, but he knows he can’t. Because of those expectations. He’s Roman Princeford, popular, theatre prodigy, the king-of-the-school. 

So instead, Roman answers with a half-truth, like always. Yeah I guess so. My dad’s no longer a homophobic piece of shit and has mostly come to terms with the fact I’m gay

That problem was the only one people knew about. That problem was resolved. Besides, Roman liked having it out in the open. This way, he got younger kids, freshmen, sophomores, even some juniors or sometimes middle schoolers coming up to him, telling him that they looked up to him. Telling him that it was so cool that he came out. No one could relate to a perfect person. That story was Roman’s flaw, the chip in his armor that showed everyone that he could have problems too. 

ah that must’ve sucked 

Shoving his mind out of places he would rather not go, Roman texts back, Yeah kinda 

There’s a few minutes of silence. Not wanting the conversation to end, Roman asks, How were people’s reactions to your coming out? When Virgil had come out, it wasn’t the talk of the school like when Roman did. In fact, he didn’t even know about it until a week after when Patton told him. 

well my mom was completely accepting and was the first one i told, actually. my parents are divorced so i still haven’t told my dad. he’s uber religious so idk how that’s going to go down. my extended family on my mom’s side all know and there are a few cousins on my dad’s side that i’ve sworn to secrecy. Roman had met some religious fanatics who insisted on telling him all the reasons he was going to Hell. Those conversations were never fun. He winces on behalf of Virgil and how that conversation with his dad might go down.

God, being gay is fabulous and all, but sometimes it really is annoying, Roman muses. He sighs; at that moment he was so done with all the problems he and others had to face on a daily basis for simply existing.

i guess so, Virgil responds. Roman can almost feel the thick indifference through the phone screen. Being completely dead to the world was something Roman would never understand. Just watching things happen seems so impossible to him. He’s always had a great amount of passion, sometimes to the point where he would do anything to stand up for what he believed in.

But he’d also learned when and how to shut up, a skill that had taken a long time to master. This is one of those times. As much as Roman would like to convince Virgil that he couldn’t just stand by and accept the homophobia, he didn’t think that would make Virgil like him any more.

Needing to say it once more before the conversation ends, Roman says, I am really sorry for middle school. It wasn’t until late eighth grade that Roman realized how much of an impact his words could have on someone. A day doesn’t go by where he doesn’t regret it. If only I could take all those years back, he wishes. This wasn’t the first time he’d thought that.

yeah, yeah, i get it, princey. The annoyance the text conveys wasn’t angry, like Roman would’ve assumed. It feels almost friendly, which makes Roman very hopeful. Maybe Virgil could grow to like Roman after all. Maybe his foolish dreams and feelings aren’t entirely foolish. 

you’re forgiven

Yes, maybe the path Roman thought his crush would lead him on isn’t as full of pain and heartbreak as he had previously believed. It’s possible that, maybe, if Roman is lucky, it could result in something quite wonderful.

[galadrieljones]

As You Were (Chapter 5)

Fandom: The Last of Us | Pairing: Joel x OC | Content: Fix-it | Rating: Mature

Masterpost

When Joel and Ellie take a wrong turn on their journey from Pittsburgh to Wyoming, they find themselves lost in, what feels like a time warp: a beautiful place with a dark and dangerous secret. While there, they meet Cici and Noah, a mother and son fighting tirelessly for survival, and who have recently endured a terrible tragedy on their family farm. Amidst their joint desire to find hope for the future, the two groups decide set out west together, changing the course of the story (as we know it), and the very course of their lives.

This is an AU, starting after the events of the Summer chapter in the first game, and extending into the timeline of the second game. Joel lives.

Chapter 5: Living Room Jam Session

"There are a million ways we should have died before today, and a million ways we can die before tomorrow. But we fight, for every second we get to spend with each other. Whether it's two minutes, or two days, we don't give that up. I don't wanna give that up."

That night, Cici went out to the circuit breaker next to the shed, and she switched on the electric fence. It worked after all.

“It’ll use up a lot of fuel,” she said to Joel. “But we can’t risk it.”

The farm was peaceful. Almost like nothing had ever happened. A couple cows had escaped, earlier that day. Joel had offered to help wrangle them, but Noah said don’t bother. “We can’t feed them anyway." He shrugged. He slaughtered a cow in the early evening. He showed Joel how to clean and butcher the meat, and how to salt and cure it for longer term use. They had steaks for dinner that night, prepared this time with a few potatoes, seasoned with dill from the garden, which was picked almost clean.

Joel was beginning to gather that their time on that farm was coming to a rapid conclusion. They couldn’t stay there, not much longer. If there were spores in the tributaries, that meant they could get into the water table, too. Cici and Noah knew this. They had been making four hour drives to the Fox River in Fon du Lac for several months now, bringing back water sourced from Green Bay. They said this was how they were able to trade for their fuel for the generators, from the Amish on the other side of the hill—making long drives to clean water. Even with the rain, they could no longer water their crops or sustain their livestock, and the Infected were becoming more of a threat every day. They had a lot of reserves, but it was only a matter of time before they ran out of food, or worse. Like Cici had said, him and Ellie showing up like they had, it was almost happenstance.

“I can get you your fuel tomorrow,” said Cici. They were still outside, leaning against a tree, looking at the circuit breaker. “You made good on your bargain. Thank you, Joel.”

Joel had got a big old cut on his forehead from the events down at the trench. She had patched it up for him with alcohol and gauze. Hadn’t made a fuss, just did it. “Cici, I know we ain’t known each other that long, but I ain’t leaving you and Noah here to deal with this all by yourselves.”

“You don’t owe us anything.”

“I know that,” said Joel. “And trust me, I been wrestling with it myself. But it don’t change anything.”

Cici straightened up off the tree and looked around. Her hair was down now, kind of tangly and windswept. Noah and Ellie were inside the house. “Noah said he told you about LaCrosse.”

Joel looked down at the grass as if to count the moonlit blades. “He didn’t go into a lot of detail,” he said. “But yes, he gave me the gist. Said your husband, he died in a fire. I’m sorry, Cici. I truly am.”

She just shrugged her shoulders. “We never got to find out, what’s been going on,” she said, blinking back tears. “We couldn’t stay, after it happened, and then we couldn’t go back.”

“Noah wants me to come with him,” said Joel. “Back. To LaCrosse. He asked me after dinner.”

“There’s no point,” she said. “There’s nothing we can do. Even if you find the source of the problem, the farm is too far gone to save.”

“I think it’s more about closure,” said Joel. “He didn’t say as much, but I get it. I told him I’d go. I hope I ain’t crossing any lines in doing so.”

She closed her eyes.

“Me and him are gonna head up tomorrow,” he went on. “I figure, the sooner the better. Shouldn’t take more than a couple days. I was gonna ask if you wanted to come with us, or if you'd be okay staying here, with Ellie. I don’t want to take her, because she’s just a kid, and she’s been through enough, and I don’t know what the hell we’re getting into up there, but I won’t leave her here alone.”

“It’s okay,” said Cici. She didn’t even try to argue. “I’ll stay. I don’t—I can’t go back there anyway.”

“Do y’all have anywhere to go?” said Joel. “I mean, aside from this farm? Noah mentioned family down in Moline. The I-80 runs right through there. I don’t know what we’ll find, but we could take you.”

Cici shook her head slowly, staring at the earth. “My sister-in-law was trying to get back there like six months ago. She said she’d come back for us, if it was all clear, but we never heard from her again.”

“I heard about some turf wars going on in the Quad Cities,” said Joel. “Just warning you. It was the kind of place too small for a QZ, but it was too big and too isolated to try and save. The military all but abandoned it. Now that was years ago. Things could have changed. Either way, it’s right on the Mississippi, so if your little problem extends into Illinois and Iowa, it probably ain’t gonna be pretty. But we can try.”

She took a deep breath, and she opened and closed her fists a couple times. She had little bones. She was small, but she wasn’t a weakling. “I wanna think about it.”

“Okay.”

“Let’s go inside,” she said, pulling herself together. She had this way of tucking her hair behind her ears. It was like hitting a reset button or something. Truth be told, he was a little confounded by Cici. Not in a bad way. He just found it very hard to predict her, despite her seeming steadfastness, as a woman. “Ellie and Noah are into the vinyls," she went on. "Who knows what they’ve got playing in there.”

“You guys got a ton of records,” said Joel as they headed back to the porch in the moonlit grass. “What is it with that? You just collectors or something?”

“My husband was,” she said. “William. He used to say that if the apocalypse ever came, at least we’d still be able to listen to music.”

“Well, he was right,” said Joel.

The seemed to comfort her. He saw her almost smile, out the corner of his eye.

“What’s this band called again?” said Ellie. She was sitting on her knees on the floor, in the middle of a big old pile of records. Noah was on the floor nearby, sifting through the pile one-by-one. It had been a long time since he’d really taken inventory, since before his dad died.

He picked up the vinyl, examined it front and back. “The Wallflowers.”

“The Wallflowers?” said Ellie. “Weird name, but I like it.”

“Do you know what a wallflower is?”

“Uh,” said Ellie, “like a flower that…grows out of the wall?”

Noah was amused. “It’s a metaphor. It’s like, somebody who stands on the sidelines. They don’t really get in on the action.”

“Oh, that makes sense,” said Ellie.

“The singer for this band is Bob Dylan’s son.”

“Neat,” said Ellie. “Who’s Bob Dylan again?”

Noah started going through a stack on his left, where he kept the sixties stuff. “This guy,” he said.

“Ah,” said Ellie. “The Blowing in the Wind guy. Very cool.”

“Did you guys ever listen to music in the QZ?”

“Yeah,” said Ellie, “but we didn’t have records. And everything I wanted, I had to steal or trade for with my ration cards. It was like, music or food sometimes. I had a walkman though, so I would just listen to tapes.”

“Do you still have it?”

“No,” said Ellie. “It broke like a thousand miles ago.”

“Bummer,” said Noah.

“Pretty much.”

They listened to the song. It was called “Josephine.” I know you’ve been sad. I know I’ve been bad. But if you’d let me, I’d make you ribbons from a paper bag.

“What do you think this song is about?” said Ellie.

Noah thought about it, looking up at the ceiling. “I think it’s like, the end of a relationship,” he said. “The guy messed up, but he doesn’t feel like he’s good enough for Josephine anyway. He’s apologizing, and he knows he can’t get her back, but he still loves her. That’s what I get from it, but it sounds dumb as hell when I say it out loud.”

Ellie examined the sleeve. It was just a whole bunch of yellow stars on a black background. “It’s not dumb,” she said. “It’s just really sad. Why doesn’t he think he’s good enough?”

“I don’t know,” said Noah. “Why does anyone think anything?”

Ellie thought this was kind of funny. “Good point.”

“Let’s try this one,” said Noah.

He took the Wallflowers record off the platter, put a new record on.

“What’s this?” said Ellie. “Lightning Bolt. Pearl Jam? I think I’ve actually heard of these guys.”

“This one’s got a story behind it. You want to hear?”

Ellie straightened right up. “Hell yeah.”

“Okay,” said Noah, looking down at the sleeve. It was like this big, red eye, full of white lightning bolt decals. “So apparently like, this album was supposed to be released a few weeks after the day the outbreak officially hit in 2013. It got pushed back like everything else, and then the stores all closed and it just like, never happened. My dad had really been looking forward to it, so like six weeks after shit went dark, him and some guys went to a Best Buy up in Madison and looted all these unreleased vinyls from the warehouse.”

“Holy shit,” said Ellie. “That’s fucking awesome.”

“I know. He said he had to get by military guys and everything.”

“Dude, your dad was a total badass,” said Ellie. “You should be proud.”

At first Noah got quiet. Ellie hadn’t thought anything of it. She’d never had a dad, or a mom, or anyone to be proud of like that. She just thought it was so unbelievably rad that he had a story like this to tell other people, about his dad. Eventually, Noah smiled. She smiled along with him. He said, “There’s one song on here I like a lot.”

“Play it,” she said. “As long as it’s not about people breaking up. Because that shit sucks.”

“It’s not,” said Noah.

He set down the needle, and together, they listened.

The song was slow and beautiful, thought Ellie, but it grew. Piano—crisp and clean and rushing as the river—gave way to a man’s voice and the guitar, big as a boat. She sat without talking. She tucked her hands in her lap and looked down at her wrists. She closed her eyes and tried hard to let the music overwhelm her. It was hard for Ellie to let things overwhelm her. She wore heavy armor. She would make a joke. She would roll her eyes.

But this was different than the other song, thought Ellie. It was sad, maybe sentimental, but it was a good kind of sentimental. All the missing crooked hearts, they may die, but in us they live on. I believe. I believe 'cause I can see. Our future days. Days of you and me. It was strong, and it seemed to be about trying. Like, trying to be better, through the eyes of someone else. Loving, and being loved, even when it’s hard. You have to try. It put her back in time, almost to another universe, but she hammered it away. She liked this song much better than the last song. She wished to live inside the music.

When it ended, she looked at Noah, who was looking at the ceiling again, leaning back on his hands and listening, with intent. The song had filled the house with a purifying energy and brought it down, made it simple. The bad things that had happened that day, they were clean.

“That one was awesome,” said Ellie.

“Are you okay?” said Noah. He seemed like he was half-joking, but sort of earnest. It was enough joking to make her smile, but not too earnest to freak her out.

“Oh,” said Ellie, looking down at her shoe laces. “I’m fine. I just—these songs sort of remind me of someone I once knew. In another life I guess.”

Noah waited what seemed like a long time before he spoke again. He was mulling it over, with his elbows now resting on his knees. Then he said, “I get that.”

They played the song again. Then, they couldn’t take it anymore. They took it off and put on some emo shit by a band called Coldplay. It was kind of terrible, they agreed, but they listened anyway, as it was like a dream.

A little while later, Joel and Cici came back inside. Joel held the door for her and once they were in the living room, raised his eyebrows and made fun of the Coldplay.

“You guys okay in here?” he said. “Sounds like you made a wrong turn somewhere.”

“Oh, we’re great, Joel,” said Ellie. “You guys are seriously missing out on our jam session.”

“Ha,” said Cici.

Joel stretched and got real big, and then he leaned against the kitchen table. He seemed kind of faded, thought Ellie. He had that cut on his eye. He seemed very tired. “It’s been a long day,” he said. “I think I’m ready to head up. You wanna come Ellie, or you fixing to stay awake a while longer?”

Ellie got up and wiped her hands on her jeans. They’d gotten kind of dusty from handling all the vinyls. “I’ll come up,” she said. “I’m pretty wiped.”

“I’ll have breakfast ready early,” said Cici.

“Sounds fine,” said Joel.

“See you guys in the morning,” said Noah. He glanced up at Ellie then, as if thankful for something.

When they got upstairs, Ellie went to look in the mirror on the bureau and she took down her ponytail. Her hair felt like a rat’s nest. She started to brush it out, aggressively.

“Where’d you get that hair brush?” said Joel, taking his shoes off.

“Cici let me borrow it,” she said.

“Right,” said Joel. He put his face in his hands then, scrubbed them down his cheeks. “Ellie—"

She stopped mid-brush, turned around. “Noah told me about LaCrosse,” she said. “I wanna come.”

Joel took a deep breath, as this had caught him by surprise. “Ellie, no.”

“Well what the fuck?” she said. She set down the brush on the bureau, hard. “Why the hell not?”

He just took to staring at her. She wasn’t actually that mad, he thought, she just seemed genuine in her confusion. “Because,” he said. “I got no idea what we’re walking into up there.”

“Oh, but you did in Pittsburgh, when you drove us straight into a fucking trap?”

“That is beside the point.”

“How, Joel?” said Ellie. “Noah is only four years older than me. I can hold my own.”

“Those are four critical years, Ellie,” said Joel. He was trying not to raise his voice. “And honestly, it don’t matter whether you can hold your own, because this thing going on in, it ain’t about you. It ain’t about me neither. You understand? It’s about Noah atoning with his dad’s death. He needs help, and he asked me, and I am providing that for him.”

“I can help,” said Ellie.

“I know you two get along,” said Joel. “But you're helping most by staying put.”

“What about Cici? She doesn’t wanna go?”

Joel waved her off, started rubbing his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. “No,” he said. “Cici’s made her peace. Or what’s left of it.”

“She doesn’t seem…at peace.”

“I didn’t say she was at peace. I just said she’s made her peace.” Ellie seemed to understand this, and now, he could tell she was just scared, of being left behind. “Look, Ellie,” he said, shaking his head. “You can’t come. That’s the end of this conversation. But we’ll only be gone a couple nights. You got Cici with you. She might seem quiet, but I think she's pretty hardcore, and you two got the electric fence. Me and Noah, we’ll be okay.”

“I know,” said Ellie, like she was defending herself. She had flipped open her switch blade, was studying the tip. “I know.”

“We good then?” said Joel.

She hesitated, but then she closed up the knife and flopped back onto the bed. “Fine,” she said.

He was relieved.

“But then you better fucking bring something back for me.”

This surprised him. He gave her a look. “Bring something back?” he said. “Like a souvenir?”

“Yeah,” she said. “A souvenir.”

“A souvenir from LaCrosse?”

“You heard me.”

Joel tugged the covers back, was getting ready to crawl beneath. The day had become a heavy weight, all of it resting right on his eye lids. He was glad it was all okay. “All right,” he said, yawning. “I’ll see what I can find.”

“Good,” she said.

“Now get some goddam sleep.”

“Ay ay, cap’n.”

A few minutes went by. Joel was about ready to get under the covers for good when Ellie said, “I gotta pee.”

He looked at her. “Now?”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Okay,” he said. “Okay. Just—just be quick.”

“You think I wanna take my time peeing in that thing? Outhouses are like the one bad thing about this place. Other than the whole, contaminated-water part, I guess.”

Joel took a breath, told her he would leave his lamp on. “Just hurry, and turn the lamp down when you get back.”

“I will,” she said.

Ellie went pee in the outhouse and did her best not to make any sounds. When she got out, she didn't feel tired, so she went over and stood by the river like a detour. She did not plan on staying long. She just looked at it, right down into it, and then it blinked back at her like the little bitch it was, bubbling deceptively in the moonlight. She  suddenly hated that something so innocent could also be so deadly, and so fucking sad. The night was cooling down but it was still humid. She switched open her knife and wiped the sweat from her forehead on the back of her hand. She switched her knife closed again, then open again. She tried thinking about anything else, but that stupid Pearl Jam song had awakened something inside her.

“I haven’t seen you in…in I don’t know how long,” she said.

"Forty-five days?” said Riley. She was nervous. “Well, forty-six. Technically. Wanna know what I’ve been up to?”

The rain outside was like a drum. Ellie didn’t care. “All this time,” she said. “I thought you were dead.”

Riley felt everything, but just like everybody else in the whole wide world, she couldn’t show it. “Yeah,” she said. And she took off the dog tag. “Here. Look.”

“God fucking dammit,” said Ellie. She was on her knees now, overcome by something, and she stabbed the knife into the river bank. “Stupid fucking bullshit. Fuck you.” She stabbed it again, and then she felt like a complete dumbass, put it away. She thought about crying but she stared back at the river instead. “Go away,” she said.

“Ellie?” said someone. It was Cici, she was calling out to her from the porch. It must have been too long. “Ellie, you okay?”

“Shit,” said Ellie. "I'm okay." She got up, frantic, and her knees were all wet from the river bank. “I'm okay. I'm coming."

"Just checking," said Cici.

When she got back up to their room, Joel was under the covers. The lamp was dim. He lie very still, on his side, facing the wall, and she stood watching him for a second to see if he'd roll over and scold her or something. But he seemed like he was sleeping, and she was relieved. She didn't know why she cared, but she did. So she turned down the lamp right away and tried to be as quiet as she could so as not to disturb him. She took off her shoes and set them down silently, one by one. Then she took her jeans off, too, hung them over the bedpost to dry. She only had the one pair. She got under the covers and pulled them up to her chin, trying to sink into the mattress, forcing her brain to shut the fuck up. Please. For once, just shut the fuck up. But then,

“'Night, Ellie,” said Joel. He had not moved, by the dim light of the moon coming through the window.

She was near on startled. His voice was really deep and it always filled the room no matter how quiet. “Oh, shit,” she said. “Sorry, Joel."

"That's okay," he said.

"‘Night, Joel.”

Days of you and me.

***

On the record player: “Josephine” by The Wallflowers, “Future Days” by Pearl Jam, “The Scientist” by Coldplay

[blazestarninja13]

Hamanda week [Day 7: Free day (Film Noir AU)

@hamanda-week 

Welp, this is it. The final day of Hamanda week. 

For my free day, y’all are getting a cool 1940′s detective story that I think turned out better than I expected.

Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25257931/chapters/61591249

September 14th, 1944

 Detective Amanda O’Neill was in her office, jadedly awaiting a new case. 

 Things had been too quiet lately. Over the past week and a bit, there hadn’t been any reports of crime around the area. At least not reported to the detective anyway, who was currently smoking a cigarette.

 Most of the time, she was called to cases regarding The Appleton Boys, a dangerous and wealthy gang notorious for robberies, shootings (which they called duels if they were out for someone specific) and the occasional murder involvement as shown from the murder of Daryl Cavendish, a wealthy woman who was the aunt of Diana Cavendish, one of O’Neill’s fellow investigators. She had dealt with the gang and their leader, Louis Blackwell too many times to count, she was their greatest enemy and they were hers.

 The private eye had been suspicious that something big was going to happen soon, It just didn’t feel right for everything to suddenly be so quiet after rumors saying the legendary Holy Grail was apparently somewhere in Blytonbury.

 The Holy Grail was an ornate chalice of sorts that was rumored to grant the owner infinite wealth and glory for the rest of their lives if used properly. No one knew how to use it but apparently it was located somewhere in town according to an unknown source that was linked to The Boys.

 Something ain’t right here, The detective thought to herself as she sat back down in her office chair, putting out her cigarette in the ashtray sitting atop her desk. If The Boys are all about riches and glory, why have Louis and his little friends been so silent and invisible?

 These thoughts were haunting her mind a few days now. 

 Her loving girlfriend, Hannah England had been worried that the private eye had been overthinking this whole idea of the boys and the grail. Perhaps she was right and besides, Amanda knew that Hannah wanted the best for her because she loved her and The private eye loved her right back. 

 Hannah wasn’t just beautiful, but she was also clever, caring, and witty. She worked at a small diner that was located downtown. Amanda sometimes liked to visit her when she wasn’t busy with a case. 

 The detective sighed, she knew that she’d get to see her back in their apartment later but for now, she was on the alert of any kind of suspicious activity. 

 That was when the office telephone rang. Amanda picked it up to hear the frantic voice of the town’s main librarian, Lotte Jansson on the other side.

 “Detective O’Neill! I overheard an Appleton member talking about beating some pretty girl up in that nearby alley down Pisces st. Please go there and check it out because it sounded really bad!” 

 “I’m heading there right now.” O’Neill sternly replied, knowing that this was bound to happen soon. 

 “Thank you once again for your services to our town, detective!” Lotte responded with a happy but still nervous tone of voice.

 If this was Appleton she was dealing with, then she’d have to go there armed. So she reloaded her signature revolver and hoped she didn’t have to get into one of their little duels.

 She slid the gun into her holster which was clipped to the front of her body, grabbed her trench coat and fedora, and quickly went out the door. Someone could be in trouble and hopefully, it wasn’t too late.

 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When she got to the scene, she immediately knew that there was a fight that went on here as seen by the trash cans, a broken window, and a silently crying woman sitting at the end of the alley looking beaten up as seen by various minor cuts and bruises 

 Upon a second glance, Amanda was shocked and immediately angered. 

 The beaten-up woman was Hannah.

 Hannah noticed that the detective was now approaching her. 

 “A-Amanda...” she quietly said as she looked up at the detective.

 Amanda didn’t say a word. 

 She tilted up the auburn-haired woman’s chin, getting a better view of her bloody face that was covered in cuts and bruises. There was definitely evidence of a fight.

 The now silently raging detective delicately thumbed away a smear of blood that was by her frightened-looking girlfriend’s mouth. 

After a brief pause, Hannah’s heart skipped a nervous beat as Amanda’s piercing emerald eyes looked dead in her own eyes. 

 Her voice was tense and quiet, her anger barely restrained.

 “Who did this to you?”

 Hannah could only mutter out one name. A name that the American private eye knew all too well, a name that she didn’t want to hear.

 “Louis Blackwell…”

 Amanda growled deeply.

 “I’m going to take you home, get you some medical help, and go straight to Louis and his friends for their final duel.”

 Hannah gasped. Was Amanda really going to duel The Appleton Boys? She knew that she was a sharp-shooter but would she be able to take on a whole gang?

 “Please don’t go, you’re going to get yourself hurt or worse, killed.” Hannah pleaded as she grabbed the detective’s hand that helped her stand back up.  

 Amanda was determined to go straight to Louis and teach him a lesson. She was going to ensure that he never ever touched Hannah or anyone else again.

 “No, I need to go. I’m not going to let that sick bastard get away with what he did to you.” Amanda spoke softly with pure anger in her voice. “I’m going to make him pay for this…”

 Hannah sadly frowned knowingly at Amanda who was standing in front of her. At this point, there was no stopping her.

 “All I ask of you is to please return.” she softly asked.

 The detective flashed a warm smile. 

 “Trust me, sweetheart, I promise to return,” she said before putting her hand on Hannah’s cheek and pulling her into a passionate yet tender kiss.

 Though she may not have known the full story behind what was going on and if it had to do with the grail, O’Neill only knew one thing, she hoped that she could keep her promise to Hannah.