#I genuinely do not remember writing my longest tag

[jeongheart]

super shy

summary: he's been receiving these letters for the past year but, he doesn't know your name, does he?

w.c: 7.1k.

tags: friends to lovers, fluff, slice of life.

a.n: this is the longest fic i ever written omg, i've been playing new jeans latest comeback for a few days and this is the result lol. as always, english is not my first language so sorry in advance for any mistakes. leave your thoughts if you liked it, means a lot!

It was there again.

Sitting immaculately on top of his messy folders, the envelope was white without any type of decoration, the owner of the cursive handwriting wouldn't even risk placing a sticker since it could give a clue, even minimal, about who was behind it.

The classroom was almost empty, since recess ended a few minutes ago and the students were still lazily getting up from the grass where they were lying, not wanting to lock themselves in a room again for hours while the day was shining beautifully outside the building.

However, Chan looked around him, narrowing his eyes as he scanned his classmates for the smallest trace of uneasiness as he took the envelope in his hands. But he didn't find any, unless the author had a master's degree in poker face no one around him seemed interested in what he was doing.

After the failed scrutiny, he sat down again with no care on the wooden bench, eager to read what that person had to say today. This excited feeling was new for him, the letters had been arriving about a year ago, right at the beginning of the new semester and at first, Chan found it funny. Surely one of his friends (he bet his life on either Seungmin or Minho, those two were always up to something no matter how much they said they weren't) found it fun to piss him off this year, after all, it has been a long time since his last relationship and sometimes he felt the need of affection, so the "joke" made perfect sense in his head.

He didn't read them the first few months, he just crumpled them up and kept them in a hidden place in his backpack, to let whoever was behind them know that he wasn't interested. But they kept coming even after that vile act against someone's real feelings; and that was when Chan began to question if there really was a person genuinely interested in him, interested enough to send him handwritten letters as if they were living in a classic romance novel. The person had a beautiful vocabulary, and it was clear that they paid attention to details that he didn't even noticed about himself.

The notes weren't very long since they didn't exceed ten lines, but each word was full of admiration and affection. They always reminded him to eat and take care of his health, in addition to telling him day by day one of the qualities why his mysterious person had fallen in love with him. Chan blushed every time he read those reasons, it was no secret (to himself, since he didn't like others to know) that he didn't think very highly of himself; from his point of view there was nothing nice or admirable about his existence. But this person believed just the opposite, and they had made their life's mission to let him know that every day.

Today was no exception, the lined sheets were a pastel color (pink? orange?) and had small animal decorations at the bottom and top (he noticed that these came in "groups", the representative animal of these last ten notes was a smiling giraffe). It was incredibly adorable, and Chan found himself laughing softly every time he took out the contents of the envelope.

'Mondays are always hard! Especially this time of year (can't the professors trust in me and my knowledge of things? I don't see the need for them to take a test).

Anyway, Channie, this weekend I found myself thinking a lot about you, every time I start writing my reasons I feel like I'm going to be left speechless but then I remember that it's not difficult at all to love you. So here is another one:

Your resilience, I greatly admire your ability to always get up no matter how many blows life throws at you. The vast majority of us feel discouraged by the slightest inconvenience, but not you. And that is something incredible.

I hope you have a beautiful start to the week, remember to eat your meals and feel the sun.

Fondly,'

And that's how all the letters ended, the author seemed to hesitate every time they traced the last line, he could feel the uncertainty even on the paper. Chan knew that they were shy and always wondered when they were going to stop being to finally sign with their name and be able to meet that person who stole his heart with every word.

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He was reading the note, hunched over his things, almost shielding the contents of the paper from the prying eyes of anyone who passed by him. You knew he was going to do it (he always did) but you couldn't stop your heart from racing like it was the first time it happened. You watched him from the hallway, hiding behind one of your textbooks while a silly smile appeared on your face, nothing made you happier than making him happy with your words, it's true what people say about "butterflies in the stomach" because that was what you were feeling right now.

His eyes crinkled in the most adorable way possible every time he smiled and from your spot in the hallway you could almost hear the sigh he let out after finishing reading the letter. After scanning his surroundings one last time, Chan placed the paper back into the envelope, and carefully placed it inside his notebook.

"You and your Shakespeare complex again" The sudden voice of your best friend so close made you jump in your place and drop the book you had in your hands. It hit the ground with a dull sound due to the thickness of its contents, and when you picked up the book again you turned around to face the figure of the perpetrator. He just laughed at you and your reaction, which earned him a closed-fist blow directly to his shoulder.

"You deserve it" You didn't even bother to return his reproachful gaze since he clearly felt like fighting, and instead, you returned your focus to Chan's classroom and his figure. He was no longer in his seat and you didn't want to look weird by leaning out the window door to look for him. So you sighed heavily and leaned your body against the wall while closing your eyes.

Until you felt Jeongin's presence come to your side "Are you going to tell him sometime?"

You didn't answer him.

Well, actually you did, with a growl that could mean either 'I'll do it today, stop bothering' or 'not even dead'. However, the blonde wasn't satisfied with your interpretation of an animal as a response and he began poking your ribs with his long fingers, drawing high-pitched sounds of protest from your lips.

"Stop it, Innie" You moved his hands away from your figure and stood firmly looking him in the eyes like a mother who is trying to discipline her misbehaving son. He crossed his arms with a satisfied smile crossing his face with foxlike features and, with a movement of his head, he invited you to speak.

"What do you want me to say? 'Hello Chan! It's me, the person who has been sending you letters like a fifteen-year-old for a year now. I've been in love with you since the moment I saw you at my best friend's house. Do you want to be my boyfriend?" You rolled your eyes tiredly and didn't wait for Jeongin to tell you what he thought, and so you started walking towards your classroom, with an exasperated five foot seven boy following closely behind you.

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You still remembered the first time you'd seen him, and how couldn't you. His presence could illuminate even the darkest corner, and his personality attracted anyone around him.

It was the summer, and you'd gone to Jeongin's house to spend an afternoon together. The air conditioning in your apartment had broken two days ago, and you couldn't stand being in your room for another second, which was already beginning to feel like an industrial oven. When you arrived at your best friend's residence, you weren't surprised by the fact that there were more people than just the two of you. Jeongin was taking singing lessons at a nearby academy and had hit it off with some of his classmates; so while you didn't know them as well as he did, you had the chance to hang out with some of them a couple of times and you could say that they were the funniest guys you'd ever come across. Especially Hyunjin, who seemed to be like a glove with your best friend.

Jeongin's house felt cold, as if winter had come only for the Yang family and, although you shivered with every step you took towards the kitchen where voices could be heard, this felt like paradise compared to the hell you lived in your house (and you even thought it was cooler in hell).

Reaching the kitchen, you heard Hyunjin's melodious voice followed by his nasal, boisterous laughter at a comment Jeongin made. You shook your head laughing inwardly as you pushed the wooden door open to enter the space, the boys turning their heads in your direction as they heard the hinges snapping back into place.

Your best friend gave you his characteristic smile as he got up from his seat on one of the stools in front of the kitchen island to give you a small hug "I thought you weren't coming anymore!"

From Jeongin's shoulder you saw how Hyunjin gave you a smile and a wave, you tried to return the gesture as best you could considering that you were trapped in the arms of a boy who flatly stated that he didn't like hugs. It was getting long in your opinion, so you patted Jeongin on the back, letting him know that yes, you loved him very much, but you were still sticky with sweat from the walk in the sun and you didn't want to make him uncomfortable when he was so cool. When Jeongin let go of you, he opened his palm to introduce you to a person you hadn't seen before, "I hope you don't mind, that's Chan over there. He also goes to our academy, and he goes to university with us! Although he is a year ahead"

You smiled at Jeongin as you walked further into the kitchen to greet the new guest and in front of you stood one of the most attractive men you'd ever seen in your entire life. He wasn't very tall (you could tell even if he was sitting) but his broad shoulders gave him an intimidating presence, his hair looked messy in a swirl of brown curls, and although he was dressed from head to toe in black (you were sure his nails were painted that color too) on his face was a dimpled smile that took your breath away.

From one moment to the next you forgot how to articulate words and you felt like a fish opening and closing its mouth trying to find something to say, but your brain didn't seem to want to work.

You felt a small push on your right shoulder that took your body forward, towards the table, and towards Chan.

"How rude you are" Jeongin rolled his eyes, and although deep down you knew he was doing it to tease you, your cheeks turned red. You felt your tongue heavy in your mouth as the seconds passed and you were unable to utter a single word.

"Leave her alone, Innie. It's pretty hot outside, isn't it?" Chan's deep voice brought you out of your trance and forced you to look him in the eyes. He had a sincere smile on his face and was watching you with raised eyebrows, letting you know that he was going to listen to you when you wanted to respond.

Your heart did a complete turn in your chest, you were surprised in the best of ways at how friendly he was, the vast majority of boys with his attractiveness made that their only personality trait but he was attentive and considerate of all the people around him, even with complete strangers who hadn't stopped looking or saying anything to him in three minutes.

"Yes...yes, it's horrible! And the air conditioning in my house is broken and you can't imagine how hot it is! I feel like I'm going to die one of these days" The words came tumbling out of your mouth, since you hadn't had the time to stop and think about what exactly you wanted to say, and your nerves were playing the worst trick of your entire life.

Chan laughed again (even his laugh was pretty) and he nodded his head, not at all scared or surprised with the lexical vomit you just made.

"It must be like torture, really. You must be tired from the walk under the sun, why don't you sit down for a bit? The boys and I were planning to watch a movie" The brunette softly kicked one of the stools that were stored under the table in your direction.

You nodded shyly and took the seat he offered you, right in front of him. You left your phone on the cold marble of the table and looked around the kitchen for your best friend, you'd been surprised by the fact that he hadn't gotten into the conversation for five minutes and to be honest you desperately needed to focus on something other than Chan's penetrating gaze you felt on your face.

"Innie?" You called out to him with a small shout, loud enough for him to hear you even if he'd gone into the garden.

After a few seconds, your friend's blonde head peeked out of the left door that led to the living room, and a mischievous smile appeared on his face. "I'm sorry! Since you two were talking, we decided to go prepare things for the movie."

Jeongin paused and looked at you evilly, a look that you knew very well and that didn't give you a good feeling at all "Chan, why don't you prepare something to eat? I bought some snacks today, come when you have everything ready~" And before you could protest, he disappeared from your sight again while laughing and yelling something at Hyunjin.

You immediately tensed up and cursed Jeongin in your mind, how dare he leave you alone with your newfound crush. If he was getting revenge for the time you tried to play matchmaker and failed then he was being very childish, that'd been years ago!

While the insulting thoughts against your best friend and all his ancestors accumulated in your brain, from the corner of your eye you watched as Chan got up from his seat and went to the counter where the mentioned snacks and bowls of colors were located, apparently the prankster you called your best friend had already prepared the trap before you even arrived.

You didn't want to look weirder than you already felt so with your limbs shaking and making even the slightest of movements difficult; you also got up from your seat and slowly approached where Chan was, you stood next to him (close enough for him to know that you were willing to help but far enough not to invade his personal space).

He looked at you briefly and smiled sideways, and didn't say anything as he gently pushed a bowl towards you. The task wasn't very complicated per se, but it did become extremely difficult when the only thing you could focus on were the large, veiny hands of the boy next to you, you hadn't realized how attractive it was to see a man opening packets of potato chips and arranging them in a small container until now.

"Jeongin said we go to the same university, do you study the same as him?" You were startled by the sudden interruption of silence, you turned to look at Chan after finishing preparing the bowl with the nachos.

"Yes, I mean, no. We share some classes because some subjects are correlative in each one's career but I could never do the same as Innie" You smiled shyly and shook your head.

"I study psychology," You finally said and looked at your companion, who had his eyes open and bright like a puppy's (how could it be possible for a person to be incredibly attractive and adorable at the same time? It would have to be illegal), and you wondered what it was that'd amazed him so much, there were millions of other people studying the same thing as you.

Without meaning to, you raised an eyebrow; studying his reaction. He laughed again (it was something he loved to do, apparently) and turned his entire body towards you, resting his left hip against the counter and crossing his arms over his chest.

"That's incredible, the human mind is fascinating. I understand why you study that, for my part, I wouldn't read everything you have to read even if someone paid me."

You laughed loudly, infecting Chan as well. He was doing so with his whole body, his shoulders were shaking to the rhythm of his giggles and you could notice that, from time to time, a small squeak would appear in the sound of his laughter.

When the laughter died down, you looked at him again as you put the last bag of snacks in the cupboard in front of you.

"Yes, I mean, it's a lot to read but it's like you say. I'm interested in knowing the reason for behavior, and I would like to help people in the future. Mental health is something important" This last part came out in a whisper, you weren't used to revealing the reason for your career choice, most people told you that you should have chosen something that would make you rich in twenty years.

"That's incredible, I admire you a lot" Chan said in a soft voice, and you hadn't realized how close he'd gotten until you noticed the small touch of his fingers on your arm, the color quickly rose to your cheeks again and panic took over you, making you choke up when you spoke.

"Y-yes, thank you... not many think that way" And you moved your body away from his space; maybe a little abruptly but you were sure that if you continued in that position you were going to do or say something ridiculous, you couldn't trust your ability to reason at the moment.

Chan cleared his throat at your reaction and took two bowls in his hands, starting to walk towards the living room. You hadn't realized how loudly the other two boys were talking, were you so immersed in the situation to forget the outside world? Apparently yes.

"Are you done yet? The boys must be waiting" He stopped right in front of the door, waiting for you to take what you'd prepared.

You nodded softly, and after grabbing your preparations, you followed him into the living room.

You don't really remember what happened after that, you assume you watched the movies that the boys had already chosen before you arrived. You also don't remember if you had even paid attention, probably not, because you were very focused on keeping your breathing as normal as you could since unfortunately Hyunjin and Jeongin decided to each sit in an individual chair and by coincidence the only place left to sit was in the two-seat chair that your best friend's grandmother had given to his mother at her wedding, and conveniently Chan sat there too. So as the movie played on the screen, your heart raced with every accidental brush of your arms or legs against Chan's.

The only thing you remember clearly from that moment is that you couldn't help but look at his profile, trying to memorize every detail and every peculiarity of his expressions.

The rest of the summer felt like a haze, every time you made plans with Jeongin you knew Chan was going to be there. And that did nothing to dispel the feelings that were beginning to become more present with every minute you spent in his presence.

You liked him a little too much.

His kind nature and the way he treated everyone made you dizzy every time, but you were too shy to act on your feelings and unfortunately you weren't the only one who thought Chan was a good catch. Every now and then different girls approached him to ask him out, and although he always rejected them; you couldn't help but feel a little insecure about the situation. And there was also the small problem that he confessed to you one night in Hyunjin's garden: his last relationship had been somewhat toxic, and although it ended years ago, he was deeply hurt and didn't feel ready yet to fall for someone again.

That confession left a sour taste in your mouth, so you decided not to actively act on your feelings, you really didn't want to make Chan uncomfortable or force him into something he didn't want to do, let alone ruin the friendship you were building. But something as strong as love cannot be contained, and one sleepless night you found yourself scribbling in your notebook the things you wanted to say to him, the things you liked about him, and how he made you feel when you looked at him.

You weren't thinking when you left the first envelope on his desk, it was a completely impulsive decision that you regretted the moment you left his classroom. But when you turned around to go back and throw the letter into the trash, he already found it.

At first he didn't read them, you knew because you'd overheard when he mentioned it to Hyunjin during an outing the three of you made, Chan believed that one of his friends was playing a prank on him.

And that was the last straw that broke the camel's back, although you told yourself that you weren't going to write anymore letters for the sake of your friendship and your own feelings you had to let him know (even if anonymously) that he was someone worthy of love and that he wasn't what the people in his past made him believe he was.

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Once you arrived at the classroom (miraculously before the professor, you didn't think you could endure another lecture and there were still three more hours before leaving the university) you sat down in your respective seat by the window. The day was really beautiful, and from your place you could see the large patio where the entire student body went to relax between classes, it was your favorite place in the entire building and at this moment you wanted nothing more than to be leaning against a tree feeling the warm sunlight on your face.

"I'm not saying you have to tell him that but don't you think it's been too long already?" Jeongin didn't seem to want to drop the topic for today, he'd gotten up from his seat taking advantage of the fact that there was still no sign of the teacher and sat at your table, almost knocking all the things that were on top of it to the floor. You rested your head on the bench and waved a hand in the air, brushing it off in an attempt to say 'leave me alone already'.

Your best friend snorted exasperatedly, "You really are a special case, you've been in love with him for a year, for God's sake."

At the boy's aggressive tone of voice, you took your head off the table and looked at him with a frown. He looked back at you like he always did: challenging and forcing you to speak for yourself.

"It's not as easy as you say, Jeongin" You spat angrily.

"For all I know, if he finds out, he could throw my stupid letters in the trash and confessing would not only make me look weird but it would also ruin the friendship we have" You lowered your face, feeling a little sad "And the last thing I would like to do is lose him"

Jeongin’s expression softened as he realized the depth of your anxiety, and he reached out to place a reassuring hand on your shoulder. "I get it, I really do. You don't want to jeopardize what you have but you deserve happiness too, you know? Maybe it's time to take a risk."

“I don’t even think I have a chance” You sighed, feeling defeated.

Jeongin moved closer and lowered his voice conspiratorially, "You may have more possibilities than you think, but sometimes you have to give destiny a little push."

You raised an eyebrow at his choice of words and just as you were about to question him further, the professor made an appearance in the classroom ordering everyone to take their respective seats and apologizing for the delay. Your best friend flashed you a bright smile with his trademark dimples and snuck over to his table, effectively ending the conversation and leaving you wondering what he meant for the rest of the day.

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If Jeongin's plan was for you to not sleep for a week, then he'd achieved it. His words had been spinning through your head like a whirlpool that seemed to have no end. You knew that he'd been friends with the brunette for a longer time than you, but were they close enough that the youngest knew the secrets inside Chan's heart?

Or was he giving you the advice that all friends gave to their other friends desperate to believe in the illusion that the person they like reciprocates their feelings? No, Jeongin wouldn't do that, he was too honest for his own good and besides you'd known each other longer (your mothers said you were born to be friends). So did that mean there really was a chance?

No, of course not, that was ridiculous.

You shook your head in an attempt to get rid of those thoughts as you rang the doorbell at Hyunjin's house. Your group had agreed to meet to study and you needed to have a clear mind, the exams were around the corner and you couldn't afford to keep your brain preoccupied thinking about something that would never happen.

The minutes passed slowly as you waited for the homeowner, and while you were thinking about ringing the doorbell again fearing that the boys inside hadn't heard you, the door suddenly opened, and nothing could have prepared you to see the person who has been living rent free in your mind, you knew he would be there, but you didn't expect to face him so quickly.

"Hey, you arrived just in time, Hyunjin's mom just brought us some drinks" Chan was his usual self, with his beautiful smile plastered on his face and his relaxed attitude.

You blinked once, twice, three times before you managed a small forced smile and responded, "Oh, great, thanks," and you stood there in silence, unable to look him in the eyes.

Chan tilted his head in silent question at your attitude, "Is everything okay?"

His concern for your well-being was evident in his voice and he struck a chord in your heart. You looked at him briefly, meeting his gaze for a fleeting moment and nodded, still struggling to find your voice.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” You finally responded, trying to sound casual despite the jumble of emotions inside you.

Chan's friendly demeanor never wavered as he led you into the house, you followed him with a notable distance between your bodies and so when you arrived at the living room where the boys were already seated with open textbooks and a monstrous amount of things to eat you almost ran to sit next to Jeongin, an attitude that didn't go unnoticed by the blonde, who looked at you with his eyebrows raised in a telepathic question.

Meanwhile, Chan didn't take his eyes off you as he sat next to Hyunjin on the couch in front of where you and your best friend were.

The afternoon went by slowly, too slowly for your liking, you'd gone with all the desire to study and get your mind out of the anxiety that was consuming you, but that attempt had been futile.

Although your gaze remained glued to your notes and your blue highlighter (which hadn't highlighted anything in the last hour, you'd read the same paragraph five times without getting a clue of what it was trying to say) you felt how two eyes were burning holes in your figure. The room was suffocatingly silent, and you were sure that your irregular breathing was evident to the entire group; your nerves were so on edge that when your best friend's voice filled the void you almost jumped in your place.

"I'm tired, how about we take a break?"Jeongin raised his arms towards the ceiling, stretching his back and then collapsing gracelessly against the soft cushions of the sofa.

Hyunjin nodded while massaging his neck, stiff after so many hours of looking down at his notes and reading "I thought no one was going to say it, I was going crazy."

Chan didn't say anything, he just closed his notebooks and imitated Jeongin in his relaxed pose against the couch. You felt out of place when the boys started chatting about meaningless things to lighten the atmosphere.

You only nodded when you felt your input was necessary, or laughed when you thought that was the reaction you should have but you didn't speak, because in fact, you weren't sure you were going to say anything coherent or at least make your voice louder than a whisper, so you decided that the best course of action was to stay quiet.

If the boys noticed it, they didn't say anything, and you couldn't be more grateful for it.

"You know" Chan interrupted the laughter of the other two boys after a not-so-funny story told by Hyunjin.

Everyone focused their attention on him, the tone of voice he'd used was more serious than his usual; so serious that it forced you to look up for the first time since the recess began and you found Chan's brown eyes looking directly at you, doing it so intensely that you thought he was staring right into your soul.

You held your breath, but you weren't prepared for what he said next.

"My secret admirer hasn't written to me in a few days" He was still looking at you, but there was something strange hidden in his irises, something you couldn't decipher.

Silence once again took over Hyunjin's living room, and the tension could be cut with a knife, it almost seemed like time had stopped when the brunette pronounced the last syllable. Your mouth felt dry, and your palms began to sweat. The weight of his words floated in the air and a thousand thoughts passed through your mind, each one more disconcerting than the last.

Hyunjin snorted, and looked maliciously at Chan "Maybe they are tired of you."

His mocking comment broke the heavy silence like thunder. Jeongin joined in with a playful smile, taking the opportunity to tease Chan mercilessly. “Maybe your secret admirer found someone else,” he joked, his tone light and teasing, “Or maybe they are just playing hard to get.”

Your heart was pounding in your chest, wanting to burst while the boys laughed at Chan's expense while he, in response, rolled his eyes and smiled sarcastically at the jokes that his friends kept saying, he also looked at you from time to time making your discomfort even more evident.

You desperately searched for words to contribute to the conversation, your voice choked by the rising anxiety. But as Jeongin and Hyunjin's playful teasing continued, you remained silent, feeling like a bystander in a conversation that was becoming more cryptic by the second. Chan's gaze never left you, and despite the teasing, there was something in his eyes that betrayed a deeper understanding. His comment felt like a puzzle piece falling into place, yet you couldn't put your finger on what he truly knew.

As the laughter subsided, the room descended into an awkward silence once more, and then Chan finally spoke up, his tone more subdued than before. "Well, whoever it is," he began, his eyes still locked on yours, "I hope they know they've brightened my days with their letters."

The comment hung in the air, carrying a weight that seemed to pull everyone into its gravity. Jeongin and Hyunjin exchanged glances, their playful demeanor suddenly giving way to something more conspiracy.

You, on the other hand, felt an overwhelming mix of emotions. The anxiety that'd been building throughout the day reached a crescendo. You wanted to say something, to respond in some way, but the words caught in your throat.

Hyunjin broke the silence once more, this time with a touch of sincerity in his voice. "Whoever they are," he said, "they must really care about you, man." Jeongin nodded in agreement, and the room seemed to shift, it was a subtle transformation, but one that you couldn't help but notice.

Chan smiled, a genuine one that reached his eyes. "Yeah," he admitted, "They do mean a lot to me."

You desperately needed a moment to collect your thoughts and emotions after that serious conversation, so you mumbled something about getting a drink from the kitchen, excusing yourself with a weak smile and slowly, you retreated from the living room, the voices of the boys fading as you put some distance between you and the group.

In the dimly lit kitchen, you leaned against the countertop, your heart still racing from the tension in the room. The realization that Chan cherished those anonymous letters hit you like a ton of bricks. You'd never imagined how much they meant to him.

Just as you were lost in thought, the sound of footsteps behind you made you jump. You turned to find Chan standing there, a serious yet gentle expression on his face. His presence seemed to fill the room with warmth, and your anxiety ratcheted up another notch.

"Hey," he said softly, "You okay?"

You nodded, unable to form words an he took a step closer, his gaze never left yours.

Chan's brown eyes bore into yours, and for a moment, it felt like the world had frozen around you. You couldn't contain the thoughts racing through your mind any longer. With a trembling voice, you finally asked the question that'd been gnawing at you.

"Do you know who's been sending those letters?"

Chan's expression remained calm, but you could see a glimmer of something in his eyes, a hint of knowing. He didn't answer immediately, instead, he stepped closer, narrowing the distance between you.

His voice was soft as he replied, "I have a feeling I might have a clue."

Your heart pounded in your chest as you searched his face for more hints. What did he mean by 'a clue'? It was clear he was being deliberately vague, and it only added to your curiosity.

"But," he continued, "I'd like to hear it from you. Tell me, do you know who it is?"

You hesitated, the weight of the truth pressing down on you. The walls between you and Chan seemed to dissolve, and the vulnerability in his eyes was mirrored in your own. With a shaky breath, you summoned the courage to speak, your voice quivering with fear and anticipation.

"It's me."

The admission hung in the air, heavy and uncertain. You couldn't bring yourself to meet his gaze, your eyes locked on the floor as you waited for his reaction. The seconds felt like hours as you replayed all the letters, and the emotions you'd poured into them.

Chan's silence stretched, and the tension in the room became palpable. Your heart raced, and you feared the worst — rejection, awkwardness, or even laughter.

Then, he reached out, gently lifting your chin with his fingers, forcing you to look into his eyes. The warmth and kindness in his gaze melted away your fears.

"Thank you," he whispered, his voice soft and sincere. "I've cherished every single one."

As tears welled up in your eyes, Chan reached out to gently wipe them away with his thumb. He pulled you into a comforting embrace, holding you close as your emotions overwhelmed you. You couldn't hold back the tears any longer, and they flowed freely as you nestled into his embrace. He whispered soothing words, his voice a balm to your soul, reassuring you that everything would be okay.

After a moment of shared comfort, you pulled away slightly, looking up at him with curiosity. "But how did you know it was me?" you finally asked, your voice still trembling.

Chan smiled softly, brushing a strand of hair from your face, a knowing twinkle in his eye, and replied, "I had my suspicions, especially after some of the things you wrote. But what really gave it away was your handwriting."

You blinked in surprise.

Handwriting? You hadn't considered that, no, haven't even thought about it when you started this a year ago, and to be honest you felt a little dumb.

Chan continued, "I recognized your handwriting from a birthday card you gave me a while back. It was similar to the writing in the letters. And then, well, I saw you looking at me during our hangouts, and it all just started to make sense."

You blushed, feeling a mix of embarrassment and relief. It seemed like you'd left more clues than you thought. But instead of feeling exposed, you felt a strange sense of comfort knowing that he'd noticed your feelings all along.

With a shy smile, you said, "I guess I'm not very good at hiding my feelings, am I?"

Chan chuckled softly. "No, but that's okay. I'm glad you told me."

As you gazed into Chan's eyes, you noticed something change in his expression. The initial surprise and curiosity gave way to a more tender, understanding look. He cupped your face gently, his touch warm and reassuring.

"You know," he began softly, "I've always appreciated those letters. They made me feel special, like someone out there truly understood me. And I never wanted to pressure you into revealing yourself," Chan continued. "I wanted you to do it when you were ready."

"I was just afraid," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "Afraid of what you might think, of how it might change things between us."

Chan's thumb traced small circles on your cheek as he reassured you, "Don't be. This doesn't change how I feel about what we have. If anything, it makes it even more special."

A tear escaped from the corner of your eye, but this time, it wasn't a tear of anxiety or fear. It was a tear of relief, of happiness. You leaned into Chan's touch, and he leaned closer, his eyes locked on yours, and before you knew it, his lips met yours in a soft, gentle kiss. The world seemed to melt away as your lips met his, you felt the warmth of his body against yours, and the sensation sent shivers down your spine. His hands cradled your face, holding you gently but firmly, as if he never wanted to let you go.

The taste of his lips was sweet and comforting, like a warm embrace on a cold winter's day, you could feel the steady beat of Chan's heart, matching the rhythm of your own. The world around you disappeared, and there was only the two of you.

And just as you were lost in that sweet moment, the kitchen door burst open, and in walked your friends, their playful banter filling the room while wearing grins so wide they threatened to split their faces. Jeongin couldn't help but tease you, waggling his eyebrows playfully. "Well, well, looks like someone finally got the courage to make a move!"

Hyunjin joined in with a mock-sympathetic tone. "And here we thought we'd have to wait another century for this to happen!"

You blushed furiously, pulling away from Chan who chuckled in amusement, still holding you close. "You guys have impeccable timing," he remarked, his voice laced with sarcasm.

Jeongin winked at you, "Hey! We're just glad we won't have to hear you two mooning over each other anymore."

[concreteburialplot]

Cool About It // 01

01 - Breaking & Entering

pairing: noah sebastian x fem!oc

masterlist: here | crossposted: ao3 | word count: 6.3k

summary; Noah runs into an old friend while visiting his hometown for the holidays. Noah convinces Amelia to meet him on the playground they grew up on to catch up. Reminiscing leads them to a midnight adventure that reminds them all too much of the past.

warnings; alcohol consumption, breaking & entering? stealing? kinda?, hallmark-y, nostalgic, talks of family trauma, cops (acab!), vaguely sad & distraught Noah, uses 'Sebastian' as his last name, 18+ MDNI

disclaimer; welcome to my new short series! reminder that this is hallmark-y bc i began writing it in December lol i decided to challenge myself w this fic in multiple ways, one of the biggest ones was writing it in 3rd person vs my comfy world of 1st or 2nd person. I’ve never written in 3rd person so, if it’s not my best, i apologize, i’m sure it will improve lol

a/n: this is au and follows no actual timelines/events, and uses oc's for family members.

don't like it don't read it. don’t be mean for no reason & let others enjoy things thnx :)

It had been quite a busy morning, and Amelia was slowly making her way through the longest line she’d had in a while. She finished heating up a cinnamon roll and snapped a lid on what felt like the 75th peppermint mocha she’d made that day.

“Thanks.” Mumbled the distracted patron and stepped off to the side to grab extra napkins.

“Next.” She said while shuffling dollar bills into the clangy register, then looked up motioning to the last customer. Her hazel eyes landed on a man covered in tattoos pre-occupied on his phone. “Next!” Her call was louder than before and this time edged with impatient annoyance.

A familiar pair of dark brown eyes snapped up at her, his gaze more startled than angry.

Amelia’s brows furrowed together and as if on cue, the register dinged closed in time with her realization.

She’d recognize those eyes anywhere.

“Noah?”

The soft velvet of her voice yanked each edge of Noah’s mouth into a wide toothy smile. “Scout?” He asked in the same caught-off-guard tone. His voice was much deeper than she remembered, and he seemed taller, if that was even possible.

She chuckled at the fact that he used his old nickname for her and felt a tinge of warmth bloom on her cheeks. The ends of her pink lips curled up into an adorably genuine smile. “What are you doing here?” She pressed her palms flat against the cold counter leaning forward and letting soft chocolate curls spill over her shoulder.

“Oh, uh, I’m here with Nicholas.” He thumbed over his shoulder towards the town. “He’s here visiting his family, I just tagged along.”

Tagged along.

She should’ve known, of course Noah would be down here with Nick’s family for Christmas. Where else would he be?

“Oh,” She smiled tenderly at his words and nodded. “Of course.”

Every now and then she’d run into Nicholas whenever he came back to town or ran into his parents while out and about, but it was never anything of significance. Whenever it was Nicholas, she wanted more than anything to inquire about Noah or the band but always kept the interactions short, sweet and reserved. The last thing she wanted was to come off as wanting to “catch up” after they gained a larger audience for clout.

He grinned back at her and there was a quiet moment shared between them, as if they both didn’t know what to say. The feeling in the air swung from having nothing to say to having so many words that it was overwhelming to speak.

The gentle moment was broken by the bell dinging above the door as a new customer walked in.

Her first impulse was to make his usual but stopped herself. “Oh um, whatcha want?” She asked, realizing that his tastes had probably changed since he was 16.

“Just a vanilla cold brew is fine, thank you.” He said with a tight-lipped smile, feeling awkward that she was serving him.

She went ahead and filled his cup with the dark amber liquid. “Do you want a snickerdoodle cookie? They’re freshly baked.”

He nods enthusiastically, “Yes please, they’re my favorite.”

She remembered.

Of course, she did.

How could one forget staying up til 2 am at Nick’s house baking cookies and having Top Chef-level trials trying to achieve the perfect spice mixture for what Noah called, “The Most Snick-of-Doodles that could ever Doodle.”

“You got it.” She smiled placing some pastries into a brown paper bag before handing it to him. “I threw in a cinnamon roll for Nicholas, I made sure to give him the one with the most icing.”

“Oh, he’ll love that.” He chuckled gently taking the bag along with his drink. “We should um, catch up soon?”

“Sure.” She pressed her lips together to keep her grin from growing too wide.

Cold fallen leaves crunched beneath Amelia’s feet as she navigated through a park that she hadn’t stepped foot on in a good ten years. A cool chill made her tug her thick knit cardigan tight around her thin frame.

“Noah?” She delicately whisper-yelled into the darkness, the meet-up destination barely lit by the full ivory moon. She should’ve known that Noah wouldn’t be content with catching up at a restaurant or at her house or anywhere normal.

“Scout!” He replied from the swings a bit to her left. A chuckle left his lips, and he quickly clicked the flashlight on his phone, waving it in the air like a search light.

A deep shade of embarrassment coated her pale cheeks, “There’s no streetlights over here!” She walked over and lightly smacked his arm. “It’s dangerous you know.” The weight of her body creaked the metal frame when she fell into the blue swing seat.

“Or you’re just getting old and need glasses.” He teased with a slight slur riding the end of his words.

“Ha-ha, very funny.” She responded with a playful glare.

She looked over at him thinking how funny it was seeing him so large and full grown in such a tiny, low swing. It looked extremely disproportionate and goofy, like a Great Dane in a shopping cart.

He handed her a bottle of cheap red wine, half drank already.

“Oh, got started without me huh?” She sassed before stealing the bottle from his fingers. “Couldn’t have done beer?” She tips the glass bottle until bitter, dry alcohol infiltrates every tastebud, reminding her why she’d switched to martinis or seltzers in her later years.

He waved her off with a tsk, “Too much hassle. Wine was easier. And you took fuckin’ forever!”

“Right.” She rolled her eyes playfully, it wasn’t like she was all that upset over the wine over beer, just that he drank so much of it already. She pressed the mouth of the bottle to her lips once more taking another hefty swig and handed it back to him. “Where’s Nick?”

“Ah,” He swiped the bottle back and took a long gulp. “You know, family stuff.” He wiped the back of hand across his mouth. “I can only handle – so much of it.” His hands motion off his words. “They mean well I just… can’t do too much of it at once.”

Growing up with parents that were as dismissive and absent, then gone all at once like his, knowing how to “family” was odd and foreign to him. As Noah got older, he began to realize that basic family etiquette was a trait he fundamentally lacked, as if he played hooky on some Family 101 course in his formative years. It wasn’t something he inherently prioritized and, at least when he was younger, it would irritate him when friends or colleagues put family above things that he deemed more important, like band related obligations. He never had to deal with family of his own, put it on his schedule or allot energy for it. He simply didn’t understand it.

Sure, he came off as rude at times, leaving friend’s family events early or mentally checking out mid-day. It wasn’t his fault that it was exhausting and overstimulating for him. To him it seemed natural, as if everyone felt that way, something akin to the universal experience of trying to escape school or work. It never crossed his mind that people might actually enjoy their families, nor could he comprehend the necessity for it.

It depended on who, what and when but for the most part it was exhausting to him. Some groups were better than others, like Nick’s family. Over the years they’d housed him for weeks at a time, months even sometimes. As far as Noah was concerned, the Ruffilo’s were his family. He always came and went as he pleased, always an open-door policy to the Ruffilo refuge. But that didn’t exclude Nick’s family from his unintended ignorance and tendency to run. He just could only take so much at once. Lucky for him, they never seemed to mind his behavior much. They never batted an eye; they understood him for who he was and why. Their house was one of the only places he felt comfortable, one of the only places he ever called home.

“I know.” She nodded, wrapping her hands around the thick swing chains. “I remember.”

“Right.” He replies solemnly, taking another sip before swapping it back.

Vivid memories filled Amelia’s brain of 14-year-old Noah tapping on her window like a freshly escaped felon looking for asylum. The heavy, panicked breathing and glassy eyes never matched the mischievous grin plastered across his face. Holidays were the worst; she recalls keeping her window unlocked during the winter months, so he’d always have an alternative escape. The Ruffilo’s were a festive bunch that took any excuse to celebrate. Naturally, Nicholas also only possessed so much adolescent tolerance to endure so many familial festivities so, he too would sneak away with Noah at times but, for the most part it was just him and Amelia celebrating holidays together on her bedroom floor.  

The air was still between them while she took a couple sips of sanguine liquid trying to catch up to him.

“So, you’re a big ol’ rockstar now huh?” The girl smiled, nudging him with her elbow trying to lighten the mood. Even though the words are positive and light, they tasted so sad on her tongue.

He laughed, something she hadn’t heard in what felt like a lifetime. She nearly forgot what it sounded like, but it hadn’t changed really, just a little deeper now. His now tattooed hands grasped both metal swing chains and leaned back a little, using the tension to suspend his body while he observed the stars above them. “Not big. Just opening for some real bands now. Finally able to headline our own little tour soon. Fuckin’ took long enough.” He dismissed the compliment immediately, snuffing it into the ground like a shriveled-up cigarette butt.

She couldn’t help but roll her eyes at his response. He might’ve not seen it as notable accomplishments, but she knew better than to place the validity of success in the hands of someone riddled with imposter syndrome.

“Well, for what it’s worth, I think it’s pretty fucking cool.” She leaned against the chain closest to the long-haired boy.

His lips pulled to a smile while his eyes stayed focused on the sky. “Thanks.”

She followed his gaze and chuckled, “Sky’s pretty interesting huh?” She teased.

“It is when you barely get to see stars. I never really get to see them in LA. Sometimes I forget they’re even up there.” He replied sadly before sitting back up.

Amelia took another sip of the almost empty bottle, starting to feel the warmth of alcohol spread through her body. Something about the stars and Noah made a memory cross her mind that made her burst out into a cackle. “Do you remember when you put SO much work into your astronomy project for the science fair and fucking Nicholas won with his fucking-”

“Moldy bread!” They said loudly in unison before erupting into booming laughter.

“God I was so pissed.” Noah shook his head, “And then I had to eat his fucking moldy bread.”

“Oh yeah because you lost the bet! I forgot all about that!” Laughter filled her ribcage in a way it hadn’t in years, and it felt really fucking good.

“I was so fucking sure I’d win! I should’ve known, Nick has always been the golden boy. Teacher’s-pet swindling ass.” He kicked the sand just as he would’ve at 8 years old. It’s funny how people’s mannerisms don’t really change all that much as they age. Being there with him on their old playground felt like being in a time machine. “Worst food poisoning I ever had.”

“Didn’t you borrow the telescope you used from Nick too?” She questioned, wondering if she just made that part up in her head.

“Yeah, yeah I think I did actually.” His brows furrowed as he dug through his memories. “You know what? It’s probably still in their garage!”

“Really? Maybe you can find it tomorrow.” She poured the rest of the wine into her mouth, savoring the cheap bitterness of it pooling on her tongue.

“But the stars are so pretty tonight!” He whined in classic Noah fashion.

“Yeah so? What are you gonna do? Break into their garage?” She chuckled jokingly.

He straightened up and looked over at her with wide eyes like a lightbulb just lit above his head - a look she remembered all too well.

“No.” She warned, just like she would’ve back then at whatever scheme Noah concocted in his devious little brain.

He gave her a familiar mischievous toothy grin before pushing harshly off the swing.

“No, no, no.” She sighed as he already left his seat swinging and made his way towards the street.

“Noah!” She called after him. When he showed no sign of stopping, she let out a long sigh, questioning how she ended up having to stop a 6’4 man from breaking into houses in the middle of the night. She pushed off the swing, leaving it clanging and swaying behind her.

“Noah I’m not br-“ Her yell dulled down to a hush when she caught up to him. “I’m not breaking into the Ruffilo house at midnight!” Her words were stern but to Noah they just sounded like a child’s warning against curse words.

“We’re not breaking in ‘melia.” He didn’t match her whisper, his voice was loud and proud for anyone in the night to hear. “I remember the garage code.” He announced with drunken pride.

She scoffed, “And what if someone hears the garage, Noah? Then what?”

He shrugged, “Nick is staying there, we’ll just say we were trying to see him or something. You know I have free reign there anyway.”

“This is a really shitty plan, Noah.” She crossed her arms over her chest with a displeased frown.

“It’s a great plan.” He stated confidently, walking in long strides that she could barely keep up with. “You know all my plans are great.”

“Hmm.” She hummed skeptically. “Statistically, I don’t think that’s true.”

Walking down the street with Noah to Nick’s family home in the dead of the night felt so… familiar, as if she was walking in the same exact footsteps as 15-year-old Amelia had, like her memories were tangible in her hands again. She tightened her fists slightly to remind herself that the past was not solid in her hands again. She wasn’t 15 again on some spontaneous, teenage adventure – but the alcohol-fueled adrenaline prickling at her fingertips begged to differ.

Even past midnight, the small neighborhood’s Christmas lights shined bright. Normally, she’d find them obnoxious, but tonight they seemed much sweeter, only adding to the nostalgia.

“Oh no? All of my plans worked out one way or another.” He defended as if it was factual with a straightened back and pointed finger. “All but one.”

Her brows knitted tightly together at his words, because in her memory, there was a good chunk of her life spent stuck in detention because of his schemes.

“And which one would that be?” She sassed back, watching as his speed picked up even more after her question.

“Not important.” He waved the brunette off, “C’mon, we’re here.”

Unexpectedly, his hand slips around her wrist, and it wraps tingly electricity up her arm then across her entire body. All at once the butterflies that used to be so perpetually embedded in her stomach returned in a rampant flurry. Her gaze slowly snapped up to meet his face. His smile hadn’t changed in the near 10 years apart and neither did the bright glint in his espresso eyes. Time seemed to slow around them for that split second where the electricity sizzled beneath both their fingertips and their eyes found each other’s just as easily as they used to. In that brief moment she could’ve sworn she was looking into the eyes of rail thin, tattooless teenage Noah.

“I know they got a Ring doorbell, so we gotta hide between the cars.” He whispered and ducked them both down as he weaved her through the vehicles in the driveway.

“I can’t fucking believe you talked me into this Noah!” She whisper-yelled at him, wanting nothing more than to properly reprimand him.

“Sh!”

They finally found themselves in front of the garage keypad conveniently out of view of the doorbell camera. Noah blinked blankly at plastic number pad without moving. His inked fingers tapped on his own crossed arm while his tongue stayed lodged between his lips in thought.

“Well? Go ahead! Get it over with.” She insisted, motioning urgently to the garage wanting it to be over as fast as possible. She tucked her hands across her body and into her sides giving her some semblance of comfort. The last thing she wanted was for their childish midnight antics to wake up the entire house.

“Hey! Give me time.” He rushed back, lifting a finger in her direction to shush her.

“Time? I thought you said you remembered it!”

“I do! …I think… if they haven’t changed it.” His tone much less confident than before.

“Noah!”

“Hush!” He pressed a finger to his lips at her and took a hesitant step towards the keypad. With a couple semi-sure clicks, the garage door slid open slowly. Amelia exhaled in relief at how the metal clangs of the garage were much quieter than she remembered. Still though, they creaked too loud for her liking, feeling embarrassment and anxiety flood her body.

“Yes!” Noah squeezed his fists up in victory. “See, told you I remembered.”

“Lucky guess.” She rolled her eyes with a smile.

Her eyes widened as the garage door unveiled a gorgeous white car. It was by no means a luxury car, not a Lexus or anything of the sort, but a high enough model to make you look twice. “Damn Mama Ruffilo, ridin’ in style now.”

Noah grinned as he scoots around the car. His smile was reserved, like she had discovered some award he was keeping hidden out of modesty. “Yeah, that’s the one we got her for Mother’s Day.”

“We?” She questioned, her head cocking to the side a bit.

“Yeah, Nick and me. We each paid half.”

“Oh wow, that’s really nice of you.” She replied softly. It didn’t take a genius to calculate just how much it would cost two broke DIY touring bandmates to pay for a new car, even in halves. The vehicle was shiny and spotless, evidently well taken care of – the type of care you’d put into a possession you never thought you’d own, the type of care that came from deep gratitude.

“It’s the least I could do for ya know… everything she’s done for me.”

Amelia nodded knowing exactly what he meant. It was no secret that he was more than a family friend to them, but it was nice to see that he recognized it too. While Noah might not have attended every family event or stayed for long, he showed his love and appreciation in his own small ways. Gifts were one of his favorite ways of doing so. Yeah, Noah might’ve only stayed at a Thanksgiving for an hour or two for food, but he was there long enough to make mental notes for next year, to bring extra cranberry sauce because Nick’s abuela loves it or extra croutons since Nick’s mom tends to snack on them while she cooks. He paid attention and he loved deeply, even if it didn’t seem that way on the surface.

He rustled around some miscellaneous garage junk in the corner, making more noise than Amelia felt comfortable with. She stood up on her tip toes to watch carefully him over the pristine car with her heart beating in her chest begging to rush him again.

“Ah! I knew it’d be here!” He said a little too loud out of excitement and promptly covered his mouth. His wide brown eyes met hers in a silent ‘oops, shit, sorry!’ plea.

In desperate need to escape the anxiety inducing mission, Amelia ran to the end of the driveway the second she saw the telescope in Noah’s hand. It took him longer than it should’ve just to snatch the item, but she didn’t question it or investigate much when he sped right past her after the garage began squeaking closed.

They made it out in record time, holding in their laughter until they reached the end of the street. It only took one look at each other to send them into a cackling fit. Amelia’s delicate hands found his thin arm and used him for stability, while the laughter shook her entire frame.

When they make it back to the park, he set down the telescope and unravels something she somehow didn’t notice he was carrying before.

“Did you steal that from their garage?!”

He grinned and proudly pulled another bottle of wine, white this time, from the blanket he also borrowed. “Yeah? And I’ll just replace them when I bring the telescope back tomorrow.” He carefully sat the wine down at her feet and spread out the buffalo-print blanket over the grass.

“You are so bad!” She chuckled, smacking him playfully with the excess of her long cardigan sleeve.

“Isn’t that what girls want? A bad boy?” He smirked jokingly, getting down on his knees to angle the telescope just right so that they didn’t need to stand up to use it.

She pressed her lips together as she watched him. Sure, that’s what some girls want, but not her. Even when he was landing them in detention every other day and keeping them out way past curfew – even when everyone else considered him a “bad boy” – she knew he wasn’t, not really.

Even now, whenever he got on stage, covered in ink, growling like a demon – she knew he wasn’t, and has never been, “bad”. Not the way she knew him. Amelia had a talent for seeing through people and she always saw right through Noah, from the first time she ever saw him in the back of her 3rd grade class. And all through adolescence, she saw him clearly through all his stormy confliction and thick brick walls.

Noah never saw it of course; how could he believe that someone as sugary sweet as Amelia could possibly ever see him as anything more than comical the social mask he wore with friends. In fact, he would even go as far to believe his mask was thickest and most opaque around her. Whether or not that was factual, didn’t lessen her ability to see him, really see him.

Being told you’re so wrong for so long, makes you believe that no one could ever see you as right. No matter how many friends Noah had at his parties, or fans in his crowds or girls in his bed, he never felt as though anyone saw him as enough. He got so exhausted from constantly trying to outdo himself that sometimes he forgot what exactly he was trying to accomplish.

Amelia never once believed the “bad influence, bad boy” propaganda their parents or teachers ever accused him of. To her, he was just Noah; the weird emo kid in the back of her classes, the neighbor down the street, the other older “brother” of the youngest girl scout in her troop. Amelia knew Noah at his core.

“Ah, bad boys are overrated.” She waved off his words casually.

He turned and gave her an unconvinced look, “Yeah, sure.” he glared playfully before sitting back on his legs. “Well, it’s ready if you wanna look.”

Amelia crawled across the blanket to meet him and peered through the telescope. Billions of tiny stars flooded the glass lens with twinkles and glimmers you’d never be able to see normally. Fluffy white clouds interrupted the view every so often, but it didn’t take away from the breathtaking scene.

“Whoa.” She mouthed quietly, just taking in the sight. “It’s so beautiful.”

“Sure is.” Noah agreed quietly, bringing his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them while he watched her.

They took some turns looking out of the telescope and passing the wine bottle back and forth before finally resting side by side on the picnic fabric. The air around them both was full of dwindling laughter over Noah telling silly stories about him and Nicholas and their roommates in LA. At surface level, he seemed to be doing well, despite claiming to hate LA, he appeared to be thriving there. Perhaps it was just the roommates that he enjoyed living with. Noah was never one to enjoy solitude, at least not for long periods of time. When he lived in their hometown, he was rarely wherever he was staying at the time. Getting comfortable anywhere was never his goal or motive. For the most part, it seemed like he enjoyed the constant change, the running. However, the way he talked about their home in California, all the stories he shared that brought the grandest smile to his face or the loudest boom from his chest all took place at their home. Amelia wondered what it must feel like for him to be back in their dreary little town, and if he rattled off all those stories was because he was homesick.

As the space between them flooded with a silence that was equally comfortable and uncomfortable, a question bubbled up that had been eating at Amelia from the moment she laid eyes on the tired darkness hanging beneath Noah’s eyes. His grin for most of the night was wide and toothy but she knew him better than that.

“So,” She turned her head towards him. “How are you, really?”

His eyes stayed transfixed on the stars above and he let a dense quiet settle over them before speaking.

“It must get so exhausting.” He stated, ignoring her question all together.

Her brows furrowed at his words, “What does?”

“Being so bright all the time.” He stated flatly, with a low dejected tone lacing his words.

“The stars?” She questioned with her brows still knitted.

“Sure. The Moon, the cosmos, all of it.” He brought his hands to interlace over his tummy. “Sure, the moon gets a break during the day and gets to disappear for a bit every month. And the stars get to die eventually.

“Right…?”

“But a star’s entire existence is to be bright - they only exist to be bright and then die. The moon works every night to serve as a giant nightlight and to shift some waves around. It must be so exhausting, all of it – being so bright all the time just to burn out into nothing.”

Noah had always been good at avoiding both his feelings and Amelia’s prying questions. It seemed age and time hadn’t changed that specific skill set. Maybe it’s true what they say, people never really change. It worried her that he might’ve not changed at all in that way.

“I mean,” She shifted her head to face the stars again trying to find the answers in the same place he was getting the questions. “You’re not wrong… but, think about the good that they do. The moon does so much on its own for us, you know the tides, the earth’s axis and all that. But we wouldn’t even be here staring at the sky without it all. They’re pretty and,” She shrugs. “And maybe, sometimes, that’s enough.”

“Right.” He responded curtly, pausing a long while before speaking again. “If the moon had consciousness… do you think it would care that most people know it for being pretty and not for being good at its job?” He pondered, not once looking over at the girl, perhaps afraid that his façade would crumble, and he’d spill the truth if he met her eyes.

Amelia’s brows furrowed together once more as she processed his words, doing mental gymnastics to decipher the underlying meaning. Another skill set Noah possessed was being dramatically cryptic, especially when it came to his internal turmoil. Whenever he had some battle waging within him, he suddenly transformed into a makeshift philosopher.

Looking the way he does, it’s fair to assume that his band had garnered recent attention due to his looks – most men would revel in the fleeting female attention, but not Noah. At least not enough to keep him from being contemplative on the lawn of their old park.

Girls or not, Noah had always been particular about his craft. He was lucky he found Nicholas first since he really let Noah take reigns of the entire operation. Like a true perfectionist, Noah carefully curated every song, every show, every rehearsal – even back when they were just playing in Nick’s garage with shitty amps.

Amelia analyzed his words, thinking over her response carefully. “I think the moon would be grateful for the attention either way.” She commented gently. “As long as she’s doing the job she’s meant to do, her beauty getting noticed is just a bonus. As long as she’s doing what she’s destined to do, I think she’d be content doing whatever she needs to, regardless of the affection towards her.”

“Yeah, I guess she would.”

Looking up at the sky, Amelia noticed just how round the moon was that night and how perfectly it was centered in the sky. It looked like the inside of a circus tent, like the star littered sky was just a patterned fabric pierced right in the middle by a giant moon-shaped hole. It felt like it too – as if they were the only ones in some carnival tent far away from anything bad. Below such a vast cosmos, they were just tiny specs of dust in the universe, and she was grateful for the temporary solitude. After years of not even being around Noah, he still made her feel the same. He had a knack for dissolving any real-life problems when they were alone together. When she was with him, she was in a world of their own making. She wondered if she did the same for him, and for his sake, she really hoped she did.

But alas, the bubble they created together that night was not one that could exist forever, and the big top tent must come down after a grand show.

Amelia and Noah ran out of words, at least ones meant to be said that night. They laid side by side with her right hand and his left not even a centimeter apart.

Noah was unaware of whether it was fear, nerves or sadness that fueled the drumming beneath his brittle ribs, but that same force also tugged an invisible string to lift his pinky.

Amelia’s eyes rounded and every muscle in her body tensed up the millisecond she felt him move up and hover over her own pinky.

But before he got the chance to lock over her finger, there was a frightening rustling behind some playground equipment followed by a bright light aimed right at them, blinding the pair.

“Hey! You kids aren’t allowed in here!” Boomed a deep, authoritative voice.

Amelia propped herself up on an elbow and immediately used her arm as a shield to keep the blinding light from burning her retinas any further.

Noah closed his eyes and let out a deep breath through his nose. It was one of the many familiar sounds from the town Noah hoped to never hear again.

“Sebastian? What an unpleasant surprise.” The voice taunted with a vicious edge.

“Officer Hawke.” The eyeroll was thick in Noah’s voice. “So great to see you.”

The big burly man shifted the flashlight beam to Noah directly. “Not shocking that the first time I see you back in town you’re up to no good.” He moved the light back to Amelia’s face. “Also, not shocking that you’ve reunited with your old partner in crime. Corrupting Miss. Alastor again, are we?”

“Officer, we just fell asleep earlier, we didn’t mean to be here so late.” Amelia lied for Noah like she always had. Her and Nick had been the goodie-two-shoes that were always bailing or covering for the long-haired boy. Well, Amelia was truly good, Nick was just skilled at masking his deviant tendencies, using his sweet golden-boy allure to fool everyone. As much as she hated breaking the rules, she secretly loved when Noah enabled it. Her teenage years wouldn’t have been nearly as fun or memorable without the two mischievous boys. Even just lying in the park with Noah after dark made her feel the most alive she’d had in years. It was exhilarating, no matter how much she reprimanded the boy for his reckless rebellion.

“Mhm. Sounds about right, you covering for Mr. Sebastian here, for god knows why.” He speculated, unconvinced. “It’s like I stepped back in time. It seems you both haven’t changed much.”

While the cop had been berating the two, Noah had already began packing up the picnic trying to end the interaction as quickly as possible.

“Sorry officer, it won’t happen again.” She lied.

“Sure.” He retorted. “Get you and your boyfriend out of here. Don’t let me catch you in here again.”

With that he turned and headed back to his vehicle. It was surprising that he just left the pair– not surprising that he just sat and watched them from the comfort of his cop car across the street.

Amelia helped Noah pack everything up before they made their escape from the park. Shortly after they were down the street, the cop car finally drove off. She walked in the direction of her house, thinking that Noah would part ways to maybe head towards Nick’s house to return the stolen items or to Vince’s where he was staying for the time being, but he stayed walking alongside her. He was quiet, which for Noah was strange, especially with her.

“You know, you don’t have to walk me home? I know you’re staying in the opposite direction.” She said, stuffing her cold hands in her pockets.

“I want to. It’s dangerous for you to walk alone.” He replied flatly, kicking a pebble across the sidewalk concrete.

Her house wasn’t particularly far from the other two’s, nothing in the tiny town was necessarily far from each other. With a town as small as theirs, a night walk home wouldn’t usually be considered dangerous.

“Well, thanks.” She replied cautiously.

She let her mind wander to the interaction they had at the park with Officer Hawke. Noah’s mood had been fairly consistent all night up until then. She mentally scolded herself for not realizing that running into the overly familiar cop would affect his demeanor. Maybe she just assumed that after so many years into adulthood he’d be over it, but evidently, it was foolish and incredibly mindless for her to believe so.

The rest of the walk was silent, just filled with the sounds of nature in the winter. The crisp cool air zipping with the wind, crashing into every solid object available while owls coo-ed into the darkness.

Finally, they arrived at the chain-link gate of Amelia’s small home. She rested her arm atop the pointy wires of the fence. Any other night she’d probably invite him in, but it was so late and all of the night’s events had already been enough to overfill her tummy with static-y nerves.

“Well, I-“ They fumble over each other’s words. Warmth blooms across Amelia’s cheeks at the joint misstep.

“You go.” She urged.

“No, you go.” He pushed back with a sheepish grin.

A small smile tugged at the corners of her mouth and dropped her attention down to her feet. “I was just gonna say that this was… nice.” Her teeth dug into her bottom lip. “It was really nice to see you again Noah.” Her tone soft and genuine, as her eyes meet his again.

He was unprepared for how her eyes looked with the moonlight shining directly into them. He couldn’t remember the last time he looked into them so clearly. He forgot how different they were from each other, well, they weren’t really – but they were when one spent looking at them as intently as Noah had since he was 8 years old. Her eyes were both a hazel but one much more brown while the other had a pretty emerald hue.

“Yeah, it was really nice.” His words sounded true, but his voice was still strained by the sadness from the walk there. “I’m really happy I went into the shop this morning.”

Her lips worked overtime to keep from pulling into a giant grin and suddenly she was grateful for the darkness hiding the red staining her cheeks. “Yeah, me too.”

Noah sucked in a breath to speak but pauses, before returning again, “Um - Nick’s family is throwing their annual Christmas party this weekend, I’m sure he and the Ruffilo clan would love to see you.” He stated with his words moving slightly faster than normal almost like he was nervous to even ask, which is silly isn’t it? Being anxious to invite an old friend to a holiday party you both attended every year growing up? It shouldn’t be that nerve wreaking, right? He scratched the back of his neck. “If you want that is.”

Her eyes nearly light up enough to cut through the darkness. “Yeah,” She beamed a sweet smile up at him.  “I think I’d really like that.”

taglist; @lma1986 @alastriaa @missduffsblog @xxkittenkissesxx @ladyveronikawrites @baddestomens @measuredingold @jilliemiw86

[comment to be added to taglist<3]

A/N; thank you so much for reading - again this is my first time writing in 3rd person so i hope it was decent! i hope you enjoyed even though it is definitely not christmas time lmao - lmk what you think! 💗

[felkithecreator]

Do you have revalink fic recs?

Oh do I ever. (Please don't take the numbers that I use too seriously, they're not to really judge the quality of work or anything it's just level of enjoyment for me and my particular tastes)

My favorite Revalink fic of all time is Pinesong by aperplexingpuzzle!! Honestly it's just an absolutely amazing work, and personally I think it's one of the greatest post-calamity Revalink stories written. Link and Revali bond on Vah Medoh after Revali's been freed and exists as a spirit, and while Link struggles through the rest of his adventure. Absolutely recommend, 10/10.

Finding Link by Umbreonix is another one I'd absolutely recommend. It's so silly and just - the characterization of Link and Revali is so fun. Link goes missing after the defeat of Calamity Ganon, and it's up to Revali to find him and potentially bring him back. Honestly Umbreonix's other Revalink work Beating about the bush is also phenomenal - that one's unfinished, but it's also great if you want to read something silly. It's a modernized/human version of Hyrule, which is super interesting as well. All That Glitters is hilarious as well. Recommend them all around 8.5/10.

Linger On by ICanFlyHigher is one I genuinely loved as well. It's been a while since I've read it, but I do know that the vivid descriptions of combat and fighting, and just - the immersion of it is so impressive. So I'd really really recommend this one. It's basically just Botw, but you're really put in Link shoes + that extra touch of Revalink. Again, haven't read it in a while, but 9/10 recommendation from what I remember.

I Lost Myself by self_indulgent_authorship is amazing as well. I love reading from Revali's perspective, and just - the take on Link and Revali getting to know each other after Link's lost his memory is so interesting and refreshing. I wouldn't recommend it if you don't like a bit of Zelda-bashing, but I think this fic handles it well and it didn't feel as if it were over the top or anything. 9/10 recommendation.

Snow filled days by SharkPinata is a great one if you're just down for a fun time!! The author kind of took a concept/idea and ran with it, and the plot grew later - and it shows, a bit, but honestly that's part of the fun with this fic. A great thing about it is you can also see the author's writing style improve over time as they write (I desperately hope that the same can be said about my fics too), so it's fun in that aspect of well. The concept is that Link isn't a knight, and just lives in Selkie's Spot in Hebra - where Revali regularly comes to visit him because they're each other's only friends. 7.5/10 recommendation.

Shades of Blue also by self_indulgent_authorship is just fucking amazing. It's the normal botw journey, but you get so much more intricate lore and flashbacks than the OG game - one where Link and Revali knew each other before they became champions - and it's so so so so good. I genuinely think it's one of the greatest Breath of the Wild fics out there, regardless of Revalink. 10/10 recommendation.

Come Morning Light by misscoconi is great as well!! I haven't read it in a long while but I do know it's one of my favorites. It's very sweet - and it's where Link and Revali begin a shared sleeping arrangement. (Meet Me Halfway is the sequel, also very good.) 10/10 recommendation.

The Longest Night by tirsynni is amazing. It's a relatively short fic, and it's unfinished, but it's still just - great. Trigger warning for some things, I'd definitely recommend reading the tags first, but like, I love. It's an interesting exploration of Link's psyche, and Revali's response to it. Honestly, anything by tirsynni tends to be amazing. 8/10 recommendation.

The Effect of the Illusion of Truth by GeryutheTzakandi!!! This is genuinely one of my favorite fics ever - it's so silly and funny and just an all-around good time. Small warning in that it's unfinished and hasn't updated since 2022, but like - I'd still give it a read because what is there is a fun time. It's a fic where Revali and Link decided to get married so that Link and Zelda don't have to. (And no, the two of them were not previously dating.) 10/10 recommendation.

(Another good one by GeryutheTzakandi is Deftly avoiding saying exactly what you mean - this one's hilarious, and Revali is surprisingly self-aware.)

Inertia by sincosma is a great exploration of how Link's amnesia affects the relationship between him and Revali - and what promises they made pre-Calamity. The memories are so interesting yet heart-breaking to read - but the happy ending makes it very much worth it. 9/10 recommendation.

A Seed of Song by Ginneke is adorable. I'm always a sucker for child fics/baby acquisition fics, especially if they're done well, and, well - this one is definitely done well. It's very cute - it's unfinished, but I still think it's worthwhile to read what's been written so far. The drama of Link not wanting to marry Princess Zelda is also very interesting. 7.5/10 recommendation.

Under the Stars by peterpiez is one of my favorites!! Honestly because it's one of the very few Revalink Linked Universe fics to exist. There's very little active Revalink, given most of it is just Link mourning and being retrospective in response to the lives and loves of the other Links, but I still really enjoyed. This is also unfinished, and I don't see the author ever updating it, but I still would recommend giving it a go.

The Last Song on the Wind by Inked_Jael is another incredible fic. There's so much worldbuilding, and insight to Link's thoughts, I just love this one so much. It's super interesting because it explores the politics and the different cultures of Hyrule. I know second-person style can sometimes throw people off, but I think it works really really well given the story - and also if you keep in mind that it's about Link, just... please read this. Their work needs more love. 10/10 recommendation.

a moment's respite by cottonmouthcandy is another one of my favorites. It's a bit of a sad read, because it's pre-calamity and you know what's coming for the champions in the future, but it's a story where you get to just enjoy with them their little vacation at the beach. It's just sweet, and nice. It's been a while since I've read it, though, so those are more just the vibes that I remember rather than the content of the story itself. 9/10 recommendation.

the wind through the flowers by HopeStoryteller is also just a silly, fun time. The boys go Modulga hunting. 7.5/10 recommendation.

I have more, and I would continue, but I kind of have a class in six hours and I need to sleep before then, so uh... yeah. I hope this satisfies you question!! But honestly please spread the love to these authors their works are just absolutely amazing.

[blacklesbothatlovestowrite]

Water

Riri x Black fem reader

Author's note: So I had an issue with this story being posted without tags to someone and I am rectifying it on my end because regardless of how I feel about the situation I was educated on how to go about expanding ideas that are suggested and giving credit. Teachable moments are very important in life, I am a girl's girl. I like to address things person to person and while I feel like there was a better way to handle the situation it is what it is. I ended up going back and forth with who I found out was an author I actually liked on here and in the end came to the conclusion I would no longer do any suggestions or expand on anything. What other people think is law for the fandom or etiquette isn't law for others (In the way of what we know personally. I have not interacted with anyone on here so I wasn't fully aware of how things were done or should be done as I just read, like and write). I sincerely didn't think much of it beyond seeing the idea and getting excited about doing it in my own way. I didn't remember who made the idea for it at the time but I knew they were on my follow page so they would see my post and interact with me. That wasn't the case and I realize now how it came off and I apologize for that and moving forward I know how to do things.

This was my first and last suggestion story, I debated on getting rid of it but I won't because creative idea or not. I genuinely worked on it because I wanted to support the fandom and bring back the hype and excitement we all OG had for these characters.

I fully take accountability for my actions and how they were received, and I hope moving forward we all in the fandom are able to address each other and interact with each other to keep the peace, and to continue to do what we all love. 💕

The person who made the OG water idea suggestion had said a scenario where reader was in an oversized t-shirt and Shuri was the character for the pairing. I chose Riri because I thought it better fit her character and the words just flowed with that in mind.

@imjusthere2readbruv

"Ma, chill." Riri grumbles seeing you do jerked movements to the same song you'd been playing for the longest.

"Make me sweat..." You sing, while twirling in Riri's oversized shirt.

"I swear Ma!" She huffs, tossing her pillow at you as you did the jerky movement again. You weren't going to stop until you got it just right.

"Ya'll see how she doing me?" You say to the people in the live, looking over the comments.

"Ah ha!" You laugh as you see comments about Riri pretending to hate your antics.

Riri acting like she don't like the way that gyatt moving

Ya'll see the recoil in that t-shirt at that???!!

I'm too gay for this

Riri can give Y/n here if she don't want her

"Lemme see." Riri frowns, hopping off the bed and snatching your phone. You laugh as she scowled at the comments. "That's all mine, ya'll can look but I get to touch."

"Riri move!" You laugh, pushing her as you replay the song again.

Make me sweat

Make me hotter

Make me lose my breath

Make me water

Make me sweat

Make me hotter

Make me lose my breath

Make me water

You do the dance seriously this time and stick your tongue out at Riri as you get it perfect.

You watch as she watches you, all the shit she was talking gone as she stares hard. You turn away from the camera so your ass is facing her and do it again to tease her.

"Nah ma." She shakes her head, snatching the phone. "Say bye to your little single ass friends."

"Riri!" You exclaim, trying to hide the laughter. She exits out of your live and locks your phone.

"Nah you wanted to be out here dancing and shit." She grins, tossing the phone to the side and pulling your shirt over your head and her boy shorts that fit you pretty snug.

"Do it again." She bites her lip as she leans against the bed with her arms crossed.

"I thought I needed to chill." You taunt, shivering as your nipples hardened at the look she was giving you. She was so fine.

You do the dance again as the part plays again, adding in extra hip movements and gyrations to entice Riri. You watch as she runs a finger over her lips in contemplation as she eyes you.

"Sound advice." She hums to herself, as she takes the necessary steps towards you and attacks your lips. Her tongue tangling with yours as she kisses your breath away.

Her fingers grip your hips as she lifts you onto her and your legs lock around her waist. You moan as your core dampens. She moves away and you both catch your breaths as she maneuvers you to the bed and tosses you down before settling between your legs.

She sucks your nipple into her mouth, her tongue lathering the stiff peak with licks and flicks. You arch your back as she switches breasts. She had the most amazing mouth, hands, everything. She was so skilled in the art of pleasure that at times you felt envious at the women who'd taught her how to be so good.

Her tongue dips low, a slow and torturous pace down to where you're yearning for her. You groan in misery as she places kisses on your pubic bone, inner thighs and clit. You jump slightly at the jolt in your pussy at the kiss.

"Baby...." You whine, she loved to make you beg and you were in no mood at the moment for the delayed gratification she was into. She'd make you feel like you wanted to climb the walls, bringing you to orgasm several times before fucking you so good you came so hard you felt like blacking out.

"Shhhh, I'm only doing what you said." She smirks, her eyes had a sparkle to them. "Make me water remember?"

She looks at your gooey, folds and moans. You were soaked, the wetness spread all over your inner thighs and core. She licked her lips before dipping her head and licking your pussy from top to bottom. You sighed, letting your head fall back against the pillows.

"Fuck, baby girl..." She hisses, savoring the taste of you on her tongue. She flattens herself in between your legs and starts eating you out like always. Her tongue attacking your pussy like it's the last meal on earth.

She slurps on your pussy, her eyes on your pretty face. Your head thrown back with your mouth wide open, moaning as she eats you out. She grasps your hands in hers and continues pleasuring you, not holding back.

The moment you feel the urge to cum your eyes snap open and your eyes lock with hers. You beg her with your eyes not to stop, she's making you feel too good to stop right now.

As if she's reading your mind she focuses on your clit, her tongue flat against your nub as she licks with more pressure and you moan out as you gush on her tongue. Your clit throbbing as she continues to lick. While you're coming down from your orgasm she shoves two fingers in you and starts thrusting them upwards.

She instantly connects with your sweet spot and your eyes roll back as she presses continuously on it. The feel of her eating your pussy while fucking you with her fingers has you stuck in stupid.

You can't help the moans, groans and whimpers that slip from your mouth as she fucks you so good. Your legs try to close as she continues to work your pussy. She knows exactly what to do to make you lose your mind and she's basking in the moment.

"Fuck! Ri...." You cry out. Your mouth feeling dry as she continues to fuck you.

"Fuck! Right there, mama!" You demand, fisting the sheets in your hands as she pounds your pussy with her skillful fingers.

"Ooooh, Mama. I love the way you eat my pussy...." You swear. She goes harder, drilling your pussy in skillful thrusts.

She sucks your clit in her mouth once she realizes you're right there and like a geyser ready to blow you squirt all over her hand and chin.

"Fuuuuuuuuuccccckkkkkkkkkkk." You screech as she doesn't let up, and all you can do is cry as she makes you feel so deliriously good.

She moves her head to get a better look at your wet pussy, licking her lips as she tastes your essence. She continues fucking you her eyes locked on the way your pussy is sucking in her fingers, and adds a third.

"You can do it mama." She encourages, her tone gentle and soothing. "Let me see that pretty pussy cream."

"Fu...Ffffuckkkk." You grit through your teeth as she fucks you. Your body is glistening with sweat, your juices and your eyes are wide as she has her way with you.

"Look how my baby is taking me." She brags, her tone igniting something in your pit of your belly. "All that fucking sweetness all for me..."

Riri's mouth waters at the sight of your pussy taking her in. She's obsessed with the way your pussy looks, the way it gushes, squirts, creams. She could fuck you all day and still never have enough of you.

She moved up your body while her fingers were still slamming into you and captured your lips. She bit your bottom lip, hard before sucking on it. The moment she knew you were going to cum again she spit in your mouth and used her free hand to choke you watching as you arched up in her grasp and let out a howl.

Riri moved back, her fingers leaving your sensitive pussy. She looked down at your pussy, and licked at your juices while humming to herself. Once she had her fill, she looked at you and placed her hands at your lips.

"Taste yourself." She orders, and you obey quickly sucking her fingers in your mouth all the way. Your tongue licking everything off.

She smirks.

"I guess that song isn't so annoying after all." She shrugs, moving to spoon you while watching you struggle to get your breath under control.

[fourteenfifteen]

may i request some friends at the table fic recs? i haven’t ventured really into the tag

HELLO ANON yeth you can.

i am not an expert and have not read everything but i have some faves! which i will sort by season for your convenience : ] also i have not finished sangfielle so i can't help you there lo siento. if you want more fics i would say a good place to start is @arwainian's fic marathon project. he has been reading everything in the tag and recommending things as he goes there's probably as many recs as u could want right there

ALSO stating at the top that i also write fic! not going to rec any of mine but i'm kind of a hottie i won't lie to u so that's there

OK recs under the cut

these are not in any particular order within seasons!

pzn/pld [at the top bc i have a palisade fic agenda]:

bad endings by elanoides

the stellar combustor arc but a time loop. amazing writing and an instant fave as soon as i read it. i mean come on dude it's a time loop fic come onnnnnnnn

i will reveal you by rozecrest

a recent addition to the tag that i really liked very fun brnine/gucci fic. where's that post about wanting every fic to also be a literary analysis essay that's me rn

use you as a focal point by joeysnowy

theeee crysanth/SI fic which ok it's a niche market but this is just a great one

party 2nite @ bc, rsvp capt. kb by fangirl_squee

VERY fun fic where the blue channel hosts a halloween party. i was giggling bro i won't lie to you

tm:

the cat who got the whipped cream by bluecloak

how often do you get to say that the most kudosed fic in a tag totally earns that in terms of quality? lovely and funny and absolutely gorgeously written

my place to land by lady_mab

yes it's the longest fic in the tag yes it's worth the time. total au that still manages to hit that tm vibe

as many times as it takes to get it right by theorangewitch

i just read this for the first time within the last couple weeks and oof it's a great one. very funny and creative and sweet reincarnation fic

excerpts/yours/beloved/signet.asmblg by kalcifer

signet and belgard twine fic!! great shit this one goes out to all the divine likers

c/w:

rising water by yellow

in lieu of a summary i'm just going to say that i'm actively not a cassmako person but i have read this fic a dozen times

light up the way by harpydora

damn i love these crazy kids. very good fix it fic for the ppl who cried at the end of counter/weight (everyone i assume)

hieron/marielda:

moving shadows / moving light by waveridden

uhh ok so do you know the reality show naked and afraid. ephrim and throndir on that. my secsam gift from last year which was a PRIVILEGE

champions of the world by fangirl_squee

an elaborate hieron hockey au longfic. very cozy and well-thought out

presque vu by fangirl_squee

ok this one is odd and hard to describe but very cool. genuinely have read very few fics like it. read if you like: hieron's tone, weird aus, and magical realism

and i follow just to find you by angstandcaffeine

oh my godddd i love this fic. the cw's supernatural WISHES

the killing of the king god's car by the traitor prince maelgwyn by thunder_rolled_a_six

a total classic that probably everyone would recommend to you. marielda high school au but ok i don't usually like that kind of thing so trust me on this one

fits and starts by luckydicekirby

augh. oh my god. does anybody else like crying. totally amazing samfam fic that really digs into god weirdness in a way that i love and also yeah it broke my heart

making something new by harpydora

love the samol characterization in this one also i just think it's fun

other?:

who put love in my head? by kaynara

does anybody else remember half past and flashback and absolute territory? no just me? ok well in any case this fic is so fun and the character voices are so great

ok that feels like a good list! i could absolutely generate a dozen more but i'll leave it there lol generally i will say the fic generated by this fandom is pretty high quality and you'll have a decent experience just looking around in the tag like there's some good stuff in there. worth taking a chance on things (esp recent stuff!)

[vanillahub]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN.

respond to the prompts out of character!

what made you pick up the current muse(s) you have? Obviously, I'm heavily influenced by a set list of characters I personally love, which means I come up with a take/portrayal as I delve deeper into the lore. I tend to have a preference for side characters, rather than protags or lore heavy ones, bc of the freedom I get... BUT at the same time I've had numerous muses that carry a lot of weight in their respective franchises (see: Seto Kaiba, Captain Rex, rival Barry, Richter Belmont and Sea Dragon Kanon just to name a few).

I mainly write as canon characters, I genuinely have little to no interest in making or RPing as an OC. At most, I have 1 OC in two out of the RPCs I'm currently part of. Which explains this huge disparity.

is there anything you don’t like to write? My hard nos are Incest, Adult/minor types of relationships. Bodily fluids/toilet stuff and fetish focused RPs. One-liners and really short replies aren't fun for me, sure, they can be fun for crack/joke interactions. But they won't last long. I really love working and expanding on the source material, so RPs for me really need to have that good plotting to back it up. While I'm totally open for exploring darker/taboo subjects (e.g.: adultery, toxic relationships, etc.), they MUST carry weight on the characters and be handled accordingly.

is there anything you really enjoy writing? GIMME ALL THE WEIRD COMBOS TO INTERACT WITH!!! Characters that never met or barely interacted with one another in canon but, they can interact in our RPs!!! My jam is doing worldbuilding and expanding on the source material!!! I also enjoy writing comedy, fluff, romance, slice-of-life, over-arching stories that connect/get refferenced in other threads.

how do you come up with headcanons? I look for plotholes or anything that was barely touched upon, in the source material, and I go off from it. I try establishing connections or make them clearer, to serve as future reference for me and my RP partners. I also love taking influence from other medias I'm into.

do you write in silence or do you play music? I used to be able to multitask a lot easier in the past. Now, I mainly prefer writing in silence. Only in very rare cases, I may play some kind of lo-fi beat or lounge music.

do you plan your replies or wing them? It depends on the thread in specific! Most of them have been plotted out, so I go off what we have laid out. Only in a few cases I try to wing it.

do you enjoy shipping? YES YES. GIMME. However, due to some bad experiences in the past, I'm really picky with platonic and familial stuff (popular fanons my beloathed).

what’s your alias/name? Vani

age?  27

birthday? 19th of July

favorite color?  Purple, blue, white, red-

favorite song?  Tô de pé - Maneva

last movie you watched?  I genuinely can't remember it LOL. It must have been Saint Seiya: Legend of Sanctuary.

last show you watched?  Saint Seiya Omega

last song you listened to? Discoholic - Disco Soul (Mr. Hoosteen's "Disco's Revenge

favorite food?  Pesto Pasta

favorite season?  Summer

do you have a tumblr best friend? Check these fellas out <3

These ppl know me for the longest time Gen ( @gems-of-lirema ), Simone (@unchcsen ) , Shiba ( @celestiialnotes ), Retto ( @245s ), Bobo ( @roleplayersoul ) and Smeargle ( @ofpokemon ) !! Really special mentions to @radi0activesmile, Val and @mxlik you guys will forever hold a v special place in my heart!!

Then I'm always chatting with Ama ( @gwiazdowe ), who genuinely is one of the best ppl I've met!! Honestly, I couldn't feel anymore happier to have met you! Can't forget urs truly Mica, who lives rent-free in my walls LOL. Lea ( @todefendlife ) and Mars own my house smfh.

And also special shout out to folks I've met more recently, but still deserve a place here: @shouxryuuxha / @wayfaringstrangxr / @eternalstarlights / @triko-the-fluffy-artist <3 Love u guys!

TAGGED BY: @mayxthexforce TYSM <3333

TAGGING: Anyone wanting to do this!! Just say I tagged you <3 !

[djarins-cyare]

Get to Know Me (tag game)

Thanks @burntheedges and @sydneyinacoma for the tags! 💖

I guess I don’t post much about myself on here, so behold the mystery of Jyar’ika revealed under the cut (because I waffle and didn't wanna take up y’all’s dashes)…

Ahh space to include GIFs (*is happy*)...

1. Were you named after anyone? Hmm, that’s a sneaky way to get a name reveal outta me. Alright, I don’t mind… apparently one of the hosts on Blue Peter (the longest-running children’s TV show in the world - you’re not getting an age reveal outta me too!) had a baby just before I was born. Why my parents were watching a children’s TV show I have no idea, but this host evidently wrote/sang some kinda song on air about calling her baby daughter Jemma with a J not Gemma with a G. So I was named after a terribly trite and obscure TV reference that nobody will ever remember. You may call me Jem if you wish, my friends all do, and if you’re bothering to read this then you’re in that category.

(If you're wondering about the GIF, the show was always broadcast live and they had several pets. The outtakes are numerous.)

2. When was the last time you cried? I think I’m weird… I don’t tend to cry? Or only if I’m really really upset. Maybe I’m Cameron Diaz in The Holiday? So yeah, I can’t actually remember 🤔.

3. Do you have kids? Nope, although it’s a fairly recent decision to not have them. I spent much of my life assuming I wanted kids until I realised I had been conditioned by society to think I did. Since I started considering what I genuinely want and need in my life, I’ve never been happier! I'd make an exception to adopt a certain little green guy, though.

4. What sports do you play/have played? Ugh, I hate questions like this. Nope, I’m a lazy asshole and now you all know it 🫣. I mean, I activity-hopped throughout my school years (gymnastics, karate, soccer), but these days I live in front of a computer. My exercise is lugging 24 bottles of water up 4 flights of stairs twice a week.

5. Do you use sarcasm? I’m British. Sarcasm is my mother tongue.

6. What’s the first thing you notice about people? I’m the least observant person ever! So voices a lot of the time, I think. Pretty sure that’s why something clicked inside me as soon as Din Djarin spoke his first on-screen words.

7. What’s your eye color? Depends on the light, but somewhere between dark blue and grey.

8. Scary movies or happy endings? I’m an absolute wuss when it comes to scary movies, so I don’t put myself through that. Also, the literature student in me desperately wants to point out that these things are not mutually exclusive, as you can have scary movies with happy endings, so a more appropriate ‘either/or’ scenario would be tragedies or happy endings. But either way, I will say no to the former and yes to the latter. I dislike making myself feel scared or sad – I consume fiction (in all formats) to feel good, so I’ll always look for the positive. I’m currently experimenting to see if I can write a massively angsty fic, and it was supposed to be done by the New Year, but I’m struggling. I will also have to include one of those open-ended ‘maybe it could work out after all’ epilogues. I just can’t leave my characters in pain.

9. Any talents? Not sure what constitutes a talent… I can sing, play guitar, write a longass Din Djarin fanfic that people seem quite keen on, uh… cook, I guess (though I rarely bother), understand quite a few languages (less proficient at speaking them). I’m sort of a jack of all trades, master of none. I would say I have a talent for procrastination – I can complete a whole workday and get barely anything of substance done!

10. Where were you born? In a village outside a town in Surrey, England. It's only about 30 miles from London. Lots of trees. Very dull. I left as soon as I could.

11. What are your hobbies? Writing is my main obsession, specifically Din Djarin-related, of course. Also reading (same genre). Throughout my entire life I’ve enjoyed stories in all formats – reading, writing, watching, listening, proofreading the fuck out of them – so if it’s a good yarn, I’ll have a good time.

12. Do you have any pets? Not currently, my landlord won’t allow it. I used to own 3 rats who were the most adorable boys and so smart – they knew their names, responded to commands, liked to snuggle. When I can finally buy my own place I’ll probably get a dog, as I like pets that listen to you, even if only sporadically. I had a very non-communicative chameleon once. He was called Minion. He was not a good minion.

13. How tall are you? 5’4. Not tiny, but sometimes I have to go up on my tippytoes to reach stuff.

14. Favorite subject in school? English literature (see hobbies question above). When I got to university and enrolled on an English lit/lang degree, I tried to take as many literature courses and avoid the language ones. It wasn’t until years after graduating when I started proofing/editing and writing more seriously that I developed a respect for all the mandatory language courses I had to do. I also liked media studies and film studies; you can guess why. Psychology was interesting too, it’s good to understand human nature if you want to write realistic characters.

15. Dream job? I wish I could write novels for a living. It’s a goal as well as a dream. I know a couple of authors who’ve self-published via Kindle Direct Publishing (I proofread/edited for one of them), and they were successful enough to turn that into their careers. They keep encouraging me to try, although I’m currently in my ‘obsessed with Din Djarin so just writing fanfic to develop my authorial voice’ era. When my obsession wanes, as obsessions inevitably do, I’ll hopefully feel ready to write something original and take my shot. But I’m not pressuring myself, and right now I’m happy attempting to entertain the Mandalorian fan community. I feel safe here 💖

Now I know I’m supposed to tag people since that’s the point of a tag game… but I’m that autistic kid in the corner who is too shy and worried about tagging people who might not reply. So I’m foregoing tags today. But, if you’ve bothered to read this and you haven't already played: TAG YOU’RE IT! That’s me tagging you, please take it seriously and thank me for your tag in your own post (I will be genuinely thrilled if anybody does this, and I’m sending advance love to anyone who does – you don’t know how much it means to someone autistic to have the decision-making element dealt with for them). So go on, now it’s your turn!

[nixie-deangel]

(laughs nervously as I answer this months late)

Was tagged by @fishnamedsushi <333

Tagging (for those that want to do this!): @asexual-fandom-queen, @sophiainspace, @ragnarlothcat, @digitalmagus, @rinn-e, @bluewonderer and whoever else would like to do this!!

This got long, so putting it under a read more:

1, How many works do you have on ao3?

Currently have 285.

2, What's your Ao3 word count?

Roughly about 380k (thought since my writing muses are back, I'm hoping to bump this number up a lot this year!! fingers crossed it happens, but more importantly I don't lose the muses!)

3, What fandoms do you write for?

I've written for Marvel, Star Wars, DC Arrowverse and a few others. Though this year I'm hoping to add Top Gun, more Star Wars, more Marvel and maybe a few new others.

4, What are your top five fics by kudos?

If You Want Love (Obikin, Star Wars.)

Uncovering the Meaning (Coldflash, Arrowverse.)

Coming Clean (Coldflashwave, Arrowverse.)

Confusion for The Heart, Table One (Stuckony, MC.U)

Snuggles and Cuddles (Coldflashwave, Arrowverse.)

5, Do you respond to comments?

Yes! Though if the comment is just demanding for an update or for more, then I no longer do.

6, What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't know?? I don't write angsty endings. I'm a happy ending or hopeful ending kinda gal.

7, What's the fic your write with the happiest ending?

lol pretty much all of them. It's the only kind of ending I write.

8, Do you get hate on fics?

I have in the past. But if it's a comment, I usually immediately delete it because I don't need that in my life. I haven't really gotten either other kind of hate for the fic's I write. Or if I have, I honestly just don't remember it. It's not something I try to dwell on anymore.

9, Do you write smut? What kind?

I have! Though not in a while lol but hoping this year I get back into the swing of it.

10, Do you write cross-overs?

Not really. Generally I'll write an AU and mash up the ship I'm writing(or making a board) for into the universe that sparked the idea.

11, Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge!

12, Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have! It was an absolute delight to get asked to do so!

13, Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

I have not! I've talked about it in the past with old friends but nothing ever came of it.

14, What's your all time favourite ship?

This is literally the hardest question ever lmao like, honestly once I decide a ship is "the ship" for the fandom I've fallen into, I love it forever. so like, my fave ship is a constantly routing list lol but currently right now it's: obikin, stony, coldflash, hangster, sterek, superbat.

When a ship sinks it's claws into like these have, they never really go away and the love for it never truly dies.

15, What's your WIP you like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Ideally all of them! lol but truly, I'd really love to finish the ones I've already posted on Ao3, because they haunt me and I want to be rid of those ghosts.

16, What are your writing strength?

I don't know? Like, there are things about my writing I love but I don't know what I would consider my strength. Maybe dialogue? Making you feel emotions? How do people answer this!!

17, What are your writing weaknesses?

All of them??? lol I really don't know. I don't tend to write long fic's any more, like, my longest put on Ao3 is like around 16k and everything else is below that. So I genuinely don't know what I'm strongest at or weakest at because what I usually do is get a little blurb of a scene in my head, write it out and post it. Like it amazes me how I do any world building, character building, anything building in the 500 to 2k little moments I do write and post. (Though this year I am hoping to bang out a few long fic's, so maybe I'll find out what I'm strong at and what I'm weak at then!)

18, Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If I do, I do it in like italics or bold, something like that because I can no longer trust translator sites I find (if someone has a reputable one they can share?!!!?!!!?! let me know!!) but I got politely corrected a few too many times and realized since I don't speak another language, I cannot trust what I find.

So for me, I found it to just be like, 'he says this in his native tongue', because that way I'm not butchering something that means a lot to a group of people and nor am I making be guess what I'm trying to say. It's just a personal preference for myself!!!

More power to the people who do it differently!

19, First fandom you wrote for?

Posted for Ao3 was The Flash, for fanfic.net I think it was for NCIS??? before that I don't know???? Babygirl (gender neutral) THAT WAS MORE THAN 20 YEARS AGO for me!!! I have trouble remember last month lol

20, Favourite fic you've ever written?

Think Before You Act, Except Just This Once (Stony, MCU). It's just so short and funny and I loved writing it.

[cultofsappho]

Fic Writing Review!

Tagged by @jesuisici33 <3

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please don’t eat glass but don’t feel like you have to do this either.

Words and Fics

186,369 words total posted to AO3, 7 fics total.

2 Fandoms: Red White and Royal Blue (6 fics), and Carry On (1 fic)

Most recent post: The Act of Service (part 3 of my SpiderMan!Alex AU, E, 6,311 words)

Longest fic: I'm Taking A Ride With My Best Friend (TLOU AU, M, 79,302 words)

Top Fics by Kudos

The Domestication of Household Spiders - Kudos: 861

Décollage - Kudos: 568 

I'm Taking A Ride With My Best Friend - Kudos: 359 

Growing Pains - Kudos: 296 

The Act of Service - Kudos: 196

My fandom fic events in 2023

None :( inspiration never hits at the same time as everyone else lmao

Upcoming Events and Projects for 2024

oh god, none. I have a few dead wips, and two vague blob-y idea about more parts to my SpiderMan!Alex series, but nothing written for them yet. I'm more of a strike where and when the iron is hot kinda gal. it'll come to me when and if it comes to me haha!

and, I wanna add a category!

Fics from 2023 I still go back and re-read (aka fics i'm genuinely proud of and still enjoy):

Poison In His Blood (32,173 words) M, Carry On fandom. Tbh I just needed a werewolf!simon au to be done in such a hyper specific (*cough* chronic illness metaphor *cough*) way that i just had to put pen to paper. and, in the end, i still go back to reread this every now and then bc its exactly the fic i needed.

The Domestication of Household Spiders (18,754 words) M, RWRB fandom. MY BABY. i'm giving this fic so many forehead kisses it deserves it. this fic dragged me out of writers block, slapped me across the face, and said if you dont write alex as spiderman, bloodied up after a fight and crawling home to henry you're gonna DIE. i love it. my child. i hold u so gently.

I'm Taking A Ride With My Best Friend (79,302 words) M, RWRB fandom. I was really on some shit earlier this year wasn't I? what the fuck fever dream was I in while writing this fic? I Do Not Remember April. All I know is by May i'd written nearly 80k of the darkest shit I could have come up with. shrug. ANYWAY.

tags: @affectionatelyrs @14carrotghoul @inexplicablymine @daisymae-12 @kiwiana-writes @happiness-of-the-pursuit @ships-to-sail @sherryvalli @zwiazdziarka

[chuluoyi]

oh?😟 there are… 1k of you already here, following me??🥺 i swear yesterday it was just barely 900 how i did i get almost 100 in a day—

giggling screaming crying throwing up rainbows—anyways! thank you thank you thank youuuu!🥺😭 omg it’s only been a little over a month and i’m genuinely floored by how fun, kind and accepting this fandom is!! for many kind words i have received and friends and moots i’ve made on the way, i can’t thank you enough!!!

i remember on sept 20, right after jjk 236 dropped, i was having such a bad day at work and combined with the leaks, i decided that i want to start my own blog on a whim. and i’m so glad that i did ❤️

it’s so fun to log into tumblr after my draining job each day, seeing how you all interact with my fics. for those who left comments and tags in reblogs, know that i really appreciate you and that i’m sosososo happy to see you!!🥺 and those who asked to be tagged and left comments in “unholy matrimony”, you will always have a special place in my little heart—the first ones who made my day!!!🤧

as a little thank you, i’ll whip something up as a milestone event !!! but most likely i’ll post it by the next week or possibly the week after, preferably after i got some requests done first (as of right now i still have like 5 untouched asks in the inbox and 9 in the drafts😭)

in the meantime, if it isn’t too much of a bother… can you drop by my askbox just to tell me which fic of mine that’s your favorite the most and why??🥹 i just want to know so that i can better suit my future writings accordingly 👉👈

okaaaay that’s it for my longest rambling slash announcement yet—this is morning here and i’m gonna go to office soon. wherever you are, please do take care of yourself, stay healthy and have a good day!!!🫶🏻✨

[cherienymphe]

I posted 7,756 times in 2022

That's 2,384 more posts than 2021!

5,824 posts created (75%)

1,932 posts reblogged (25%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@cherienymphe

@darkficsyouneveraskedfor

@straywords

@softcoreparadise

@cockslutpadalecki

I tagged 5,875 of my posts in 2022

Only 24% of my posts had no tags

#asks - 5,454 posts

#olt - 166 posts

#outer banks - 41 posts

#rafe cameron - 38 posts

#rafe cameron x reader - 37 posts

#drabbles - 36 posts

#dark!rafe cameron - 32 posts

#dark fics - 29 posts

#obx fic - 26 posts

#dark!rafe cameron x reader - 25 posts

Longest Tag: 121 characters

#i know it's not your fault but i genuinely laugh when i get questions like these about things i've talked about/rb before

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Dollhouse Masterlist

summary: You and Rebecca Barnes are polar opposites, but she’s the closest thing you have to a sister. When your friendship starts to show its cracks, Bucky seizes the opportunity to corner the girl who’s always been just out of reach. 

➥ warnings: NON-CON, DUB-CON, loss of virginity, emotional abuse, substance use, daddy kink, dd/lg vibes, innocent!reader, alluded to little!reader, mentions of age regression, toxic friendships, best friend’s brother!Bucky, hints of unrequited Steve x reader

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See the full post

1,872 notes - Posted March 29, 2022

#4

Do y'all remember being in fandoms and wanting to read a reader insert fic that included a character you liked? Or maybe even your favorite character? You were a little excited to see the world and storylines this author came up with and imagine yourself in the story but then you come across something that isn't quite right. Right isn't necessarily the correct word but for the nature of the type of fanfiction it didn't really make sense?

It's a general insert, right? A fic where every reader is supposed to imagine themselves and feel included in the fandom but oh-

You see a comment about pale skin. Or maybe a comment about flowing hair. Or someone very explicitly describing someone's cheeks as red or pink. The same for their lips or if it's smut...well, you know. Pink everything else. They talk about throwing their hair into a messy bun or if they're gripping something, it's always "white knuckled".

You get this oh moment. This moment where you realize that despite what this author says, this wasn't written for you at all. Despite how inclusive they claim to be, someone who looked like you clearly wasn't in mind when they wrote it. It's blatantly a white reader even though it doesn't say it. And you try to think they didn't do it on purpose but doesn't that make it worse? The fact that people who look like you are such a non factor that it didn't even cross their mind that you...exist? You're a little disappointed because you wanted to enjoy it but how can you when the reader insert portion of the fic is clearly not what it's supposed to be?

But it's fine though because that's just one writer!

But it's not one writer or even two or even 5. It's majority of the writers in the fandom. Whether it was Marvel or 1D or whatever other fandom you were in. It was a plethora of writers going out of their way to exclude people. To make it clear who they wrote for and who they wanted reading their fics. And if you bothered to point it out, you were belittled. Your feelings were invalidated because "it's not that big of a deal". Your feelings just didn't matter.

To make matters worse, these fics had thousands of notes. It was a sign that people didn't care. They didn't care that people were being excluded and made to feel left out and like they didn't have a place in that particular part of the fandom. For years people showed that they couldn't care less and you wonder why you're even in the fandom at all. Why even interact with these people who've made it clear they kind of don't want you here? The fandom isn't fun for you and these people have made it that way.

And now those same people wonder why people go out of their way to write things like specific black inserts. Why people go out of their way to make people who've been excluded for years feel included. Why they would want to make a safe space for readers like that. Take a wild guess...

2,265 notes - Posted January 5, 2022

#3

The Dragon’s Den (Daemon Targaryen x Reader)

WARNINGS: NON-CON, loss of virginity, kidnapping

➥ banner by @maysdigitalarts​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ ​​​​​​​​|  ➥ divider by @firefly-graphics​

See the full post

2,278 notes - Posted September 15, 2022

#2

Need To Know (Chris Evans x Reader)

WARNINGS: DUB-CON, slight jealous!Chris

➥ This would’ve been out sooner but I got sucked down the rabbit hole that is Ned ‘I love my wife’ Fulmer from Try Guys cheating on his wife with Alex from Food Babies, but here we are! Enjoy!

➥ banner by @maysdigitalarts​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ ​​​​​​​​| divider by @silkholland​​​

See the full post

3,115 notes - Posted September 27, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Rumor Has It (Daemon Targaryen x Reader)

WARNINGS: DUB-CON, incest, Velaryon!Reader

➥ banner by @maysdigitalarts​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ ​​​​​​​​|  ➥ divider by @firefly-graphics​​

See the full post

3,431 notes - Posted September 12, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[prattery]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

Thank you for the tag @queerofthedagger <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

22

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

242,705, which is absolute madness. didn't even realise i have that much to say abt merlin and arthur lol

3. What fandoms do you write for?

BBC Merlin xx

4. Top 5 fics by kudos?

stone cold: the one where merlin was turned into stone. bit heavy i have to admit, no idea what i was on when i wrote it

through storm and hellfire: the one where merlin was kidnapped to force Destiny™'s hand , things went to shit, and arthur went through a Difficult Journey of Discovery (or: the wringer) where he learnt that his dad was not, in fact, a good guy....among other things

flickering embers: the one where arthur lost merlin to the veil between the worlds only for merlin to be spat back out, lose his memory, and become a druid leader

winning the battle: the one where old religion claims everything that makes merlin merlin as a price for the immense magic he used to win arthur's battle

quiet light: the one where merlin stayed mad after agravaine convinced arthur that gaius was a traitor

my takeaway from this is that people enjoy it when i make arthur suffer

5. Do you respond to comments?

i do try but i am genuinely horrible at it. it's so so nice to receive them and i read every single one but i kind of don't know how to respond to them sometimes. one day we will get there

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i did intend for the long way round ANd a line that goes all the way to have angsty endings but oops guess my hand slipped.

the number of times i intended a fic to have an angsty ending only for me to faff with it later... unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on where you stand on this) my mind would not let me rest until I added a happier ending

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

the three trials. it ended well for everybody. and not to toot my own horn or anything but i'm quite happy with it. i think i have a tendency to rush endings generally speaking, but i quite enjoyed writing the ending to this one.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not yet and tbh i'd prefer to keep it this way thank you xx

9. Do you write smut?

i do like thinking about writing it but i just can't bring myself to actually type it out before i give myself the ick. maybe one day

10. Do you write crossovers?

no

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

i think the fact that im still in here 10 (?) years after the show ended on says something about merthur lol. once and future ship init

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

the sword and his shield. i still really like the concept i have for it and i still have the ideas for it rattling around in my head, but i just feel like it flopped. i write for myself and clear my head of plotlines and random bits of dialogue rather than external validation, but it just feels a bit like mumbling into the void

16. What are your writing strengths?

banter and describing emotions that are not my own <3

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

worldbuilding. coming up with the concept is fine, i can do that, but i find the keeping track on them challenging

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

i mean if somebody else wants to do it, go for it, fair play, but personally i will not. only because i can't be 100% sure that i wouldn't get things wrong

19. First fandom you wrote for?

fairly sure i wrote HP (drarry), just never published it. don't remember what it was about, either.

the first one i published on ao3 was marvel (stevebucky). i have not touched it since my return to fandom and tbh im not going to

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

i feel like i should say storm and hellfire because it is my child, it is the longest thing i've ever written, and i feel like it is the only thing i write that resembles an Actual Story (idk how else to put it). i surprised myself by actually finishing it. think it took about two years and i was a bit bereft after the last chapter was posted.

that being said, the fic i enjoy rereading the most (i.e. without cringing) is probably a line that goes all the way. it ticks all my own boxes and caters to all my interests lmao what can i say

not tagging anybody in particular but if you'd like to do this, feel free to say i tagged you xo

[ladytanithia]

AO3 Twenty Questions

I was tagged by @dirty-bosmer Tagging @lillxart @gwilin-stay-winnin @skyrim-forever and @thequeenofthewinter (even though I know she's already done this!)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

18

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

416,292

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently, only Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, although I have written a few Breath of the Wild fics (one one-shot, one short 8-chapter story, and two long fics that are unfinished). Once upon a time in junior high and high school, my friends and I wrote each other stories about Duran Duran and Def Leppard, but those are on paper and too old for anyone to care these days!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

You know, I hadn’t really looked in a long time, so I’m surprised/not surprised to find that mostly my LoZ fics are the highest in kudos (they’ve been there longest).

Dalliances with Dunmer (86)

Link the Anachronism (55)

Larissa’s Tale: Before the Hero (46) – this pleases me; my first story with an OC and a lot of research

Khajiit: Stranger in a Strange Land (45)

Starting Over: A New Woman in a New Hyrule (38)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Absolutely! While I write for myself and have to remind myself of this daily, it’s always nice to know that someone else has seen and enjoyed my labors of love. Readers who comment are rare and precious. And at least 2 of them have become actual friends!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Dalliances with Dunmer – but that wasn’t the end of the story, just the ending of the 2nd book in the story.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

What Might Have Been – because it was MEANT to be an alternate ending to the angsty one.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not usually. When I first started putting DwD on AO3 and fanfiction, one person called it dogshit and another person went on a mean, scandalized rant about Miranja’s “fatherless behavior.” But a dear friend told me, if there’s no controversy, you’re not doing it right, and I left the flame in the comments for that purpose!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Smut/romance/erotica – various levels depending on the mood and the characters’ relationship. There’s been everything from cuddly fluff to heart-pounding romance to jizz-in-your-pants or call-the-priest filth.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I can’t answer that definitively. I started a crossover (Khajiit) between BotW and Skyrim (a friend used Skyrim to wean me off of BotW, and now I live here forever), but I haven’t even gotten to the crossover part and now it’s been 2 years since I played BotW, so we’ll see where that goes.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. I can’t imagine why anyone would, unless they were training an AI!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Yes, just a silly little back-and-forth scenario with my OC and a friend’s OC. It’s not on AO3, but I’m hoping it will be soon!

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Of my own, or anyone’s anywhere? Mine, of course, would be Miranja and Talvas. Elsewhere… I like to ship Kvothe and Devi in The Name of the Wind – if for nothing else but the hate sex!

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I want to finish all of them except the Link and Zelda stories, since those are moot points by now.

16. What are your writing strengths?

From others’ reviews, I’d say characterization and description. I like to get inside the characters’ minds and hearts, think up back stories for them that might have made them the way they are, make their interactions with other characters as genuine as I can. When describing a scene, I almost focus more on the sensations than the actual physical presence of, or situation of, things. What is the character seeing, hearing, smelling, touching, or tasting, and how does it make them feel? The feelings are what you remember, not the details. (Unless you’re Sherlock Holmes.)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Second-guessing myself. If someone says the story’s moving too slowly, I pick up the pace and skip the less important stuff that was kind of important to me. Then someone says I’m rushing the story, so I rewrite it and flesh it out the way I wanted it to begin with. Like, I BELIEVE I’m pretty good at re-reading and assessing the pace, but then I let someone else tell me I’m doing it wrong. Also, allowing things to distract me and keep me from writing until I don’t even remember where I was at.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

If it’s relevant to the plot, then of course! Otherwise, if it’s just idle chatter, that feels like extraneous flaunting on the author’s part. Look what I can do! Haha!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

As many things as I’ve been a fan of, I’ve never thought of writing my own fiction about them until I beat Breath of the Wild. Because I wanted so badly to know how they would turn the kingdom back around, I decided to write my own continuation.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Larissa’s Tale or Hrefna’s Crush. Shorter stories, but special to me in different ways. Larissa was kind of a self-insert character but better-looking, who got her hands and other body parts on Link before Zelda did. Hrefna’s Crush was sort of a birds-and-bees and starting to have crushes story, where Sondas Drenim is the object of her crush, and Miranja is the competition she loves but envies.

[not-a-space-alien]

Hi! Call me Nasa. All the cool kids are using pinned posts now. Here's my old about page.

I'm 30. This blog is mostly sfw, but does occasionally contain adult-oriented content. If you are a minor following me, I expect you to block the "nsfw" tag so these posts are blocked, and to not interact with them. This blog also will occasionally contain graphic depictions of violence and blood.

I’m okay with anything I post being reblogged unless it’s tagged with “please don’t reblog” or some variation thereof.

If you don't want me to answer an ask publicly, please say so as I will usually do so. I am also open to private DMs. Anons are usually on and usually it's fine to ask me anything as long as it's genuine/in good faith, just put warnings ahead of anything explicit, suggestive, or potentially disturbing so my followers can be warned if I answer publicly.

I will tag things if you ask me to, as long as it's not too difficult to do so. I already tag commonly blocked things like nsfw, gore, and blood. I have also been asked to tag spiders and trypophobia, so I will do my best to remember.

I usually prefer to just dump all of my interests on one blog rather than side blogs.

I'm a human. Read the URL.

My writing:

I write as a hobby. Most of my current writing is original works. Some of them have illustrations/visuals, but you are free to imagine the characters differently if you like. I welcome fanart, fanfiction, roleplaying asks, and collaborative worldbuilding, for anyone who feels so inclined. Just tag me so I can see! :)

My AO3 page

Watch Your Step - Giant/tiny, a story about a fairy and his adventures. An entomologist finds an injured fairy while out in the field. (The tag for posts about this story is #Watch Your Step) (Does not require reading anything beforehand) [Active]

Magnanimous Moonrise & Savage Sunset - A story about a vampire and a vampire hunter, told from dualing perspectives. (caution: graphic) (The tag for posts about this story is #MMSS) (Does not require reading anything beforehand but related to/inspired by another series) [Complete, but a sequel is coming.]

Click the readmore for more info about my writing, recent updates list, and what I'm currently working on!

K+J fanfic - here and here. This is fanfiction of someone else's whump series (caution: graphic)

K+J x MMSS - Crossover between my vampire story and K+J

Older writings:

Good Omens fanfiction: I am no longer active in the good omens fandom, but all my fanfiction can be found on my blog under #my good omens fanfiction, or on my AO3 for easier reading. My longest and most elaborate, OC-heavy series is Your Own Side. Most of my GOmens fanfiction was written using book canon, before the TV show came out.

Miscellaneous original short stories

Story 1 | Story 2 | Story 3 | Story 4 | Story 5 | Story 6

Lost story I need to put up again: The Gamble

PS:  idk if the tumblr tipping feature actually works or not, so here is a link to my ko-fi if you want to tip outside of tumblr!!   ABSOLUTELY don’t feel obligated to tip though, just figured I’d put this here because I put a lot of work into my fic so I’d make it possible to tip if you wanted to, don’t feel guilty for not doing it, it’s just an option :)

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Select recent updates:

4/12/24 Tinytopia Chapter 8:  Endless Rebirth (Part 4)

4/12/24 K&J x MMSS 4: Valen & Jim Part 13

4/10/24 Tinytopia Chapter 7:  Endless Rebirth (Part 3)

4/8/24 K&J x MMSS 4: Valen & Jim Part 12

4/8/24 Tinytopia Chapter 6:  Endless Rebirth (Part 2)

4/7/24 Savage Sunset Choose Your Own Adventure Finale

4/1/24 K&J x MMSS 4: Valen & Jim Part 11

4/1/24 Tinytopia Chapter 5: Endless Rebirth (part 1)

3/25/24 K&J x MMSS 4: Valen & Jim Part 10

3/7/24 K&J x MMSS 4: Valen & Jim Part 9

2/20/24 Tinytopia Chapter 4: Fail Out

12/14/23 MMSS: Aftermath

12/2/23 Magnanimous Moonrise & Savage Sunset 29MS

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Currently working on/coming next:

K&J x MMSS 4B

Tinytopia ch 9

The MMSS sequel (Desperate Daybreak) and another big surprise about MMSS 👀

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PPS: i have been on tumblr for a WHILE (like since circa 2015) and this blog has gone through many phases. If you happen to stumble across any of my old posts that are not properly tagged, or contain something problematic that I never fixed, please send me a private DM so I can fix it.

[aphel1on]

tag someone you want to get to know better

tagged by @woobifiedvillain a few days ago and finally remembered to do it!!

Favorite color: Yellow, but not an overwhelming yellow, like that soft warm yellow? I love it. People tend to not expect this answer, I think I give off more of a blue or grey vibe. Honestly a pretty grey/silver is probably my second favorite color, but a buttery yellow is just so good for the soul.

Last song: You Give Love a Bad Name by Bon Jovi. Danced to it in the kitchen, got consumed by the guitar riffs, nearly knocked a chair over. Before this morning it would've been the Genshin OST... I've been listening to it a lot while I write or do chores recently.

Last movie: An exceedingly mediocre romcom on Netflix that I watched with my sick mom to be nice. Genuinely couldn't tell you the title or more than like, two or three plot points. Last movie that I watched bc I wanted to was the Barbie movie, which was genuinely better than I expected. Enjoyable but would still give it, like, a mixed review. I'm not getting into two months' ago Barbie Movie Discourse on this post

Currently watching: I'M STILL TRYING TO FINISH THE UNTAMED!!!! woobifiedvillain i'm speaking directly to you and quoting you: i too am "chronically incapable of paying attention to visual media, even the good shit" and when i try to explain this to people irl they act like i am insane!!! I haven't watched Good Omens season 2 yet even tho I am reblogging posts about it rn. I think it's mostly adhd, or really just a part of the larger Neurodivergence Soup (tm) that makes it nearly impossible for me to learn something from a YouTube video. I mean, sometimes for a hands-on task a video is essential, but can't there be a written list of instructions to go with it too, bc that sticks in my mind way better sobs... ANYWAY i'm currently on episode 43 of The Untamed, so I should be able to finish it by, like. The end of the year at least lol?

Currently reading: I started reading SVSSS recently because, like. The mxtx mania is in full throttle. I just got here a little later than most people lmao. I'm also currently "reading" like seven different books that I bought or pirated this year and have on hold. One of my Unfortunate Skills is bingereading like 200 pages of something in 1-2 days and then not finishing the rest of it for 8 months.

Currently working on: Keep My Shadow Alive, my big xue yang-centric fix it fic!!! Well, more like a fix it, and then break it more, and then eventually actually fix it fic. Starting from the canon divergence of "Add Pre-Teen Xue Yang to the Burial Mounds Fam" and going from there. I read every fic like that that's on ao3 and was still being eaten alive by the brainworms so I started writing my own take on it and ~6 months later it's the longest fic I've ever written and only 25% of the way through its outline???? So. Who knows if it will get finished (my track record is admittedly not great)- but I've had such a blast writing it so far. Xue Yang is just SO fun to write. Yes it has a plot and character arcs and I could even go full English Major* and start telling you about its Themes, but also it's just an excuse to write Xue Yang interacting with every member of the MDZS cast. Going to STOP talking now bc I fully am the type of writer who will get carried away talking about their wips.

*i am not an english major, but spiritually i am an english major.

Current obsession: Yeah uh, MDZS. My friend convinced me to finally read it in January of this year, and the hyperfixation train has simply not stopped since then. Genshin Impact also dragged me back in with the Fontaine update and I've been having a lot of fun playing it. But MDZS is still mostly the thing that's eating up my RAM. Particularly the Yi City crew, but 3zun is rotating in there too. Sometimes even The Man WWX Himself, i talk about him less but i do love him a lot also lol

Tagging: I'm honestly too shy to do this!!! But thank you for tagging me anyway<3

[warlordfelwinter]

20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @cappurrccino

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 

34

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 

229,622

3. What fandoms do you write for? 

destiny, dishonored, ffxiv (although those are only on tumblr cause i had a weird period where i wasn't posting anything to ao3). one warframe. i'd like to write more warframe but uhhhh got no ideas. i'm hoping the new war will give me some whenever i'm brave enough to start it

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Various Accounts of Corvo Attano - 194

Oddities - 156

Breathe - 115

No Kingdom to Come - 89

Winter's Guile - 78

5. Do you respond to comments?

i try to, even if it's just "thanks!" although sometimes i'll say "i'll respond to that later" and then i forget. you know how it is

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? 

No Kingdom to Come ends with all the Iron Lords being killed so probably that one

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? 

a lot of them... i tend to prefer a happy ending. i'm not sure how to quantify happiest. but i also really really rarely write chaptered fics so it's sort of hard to say 'ending' for a thousand word doodle. As It Was has a happy ending, i suppose

8. Do you get hate on fics? 

nope. i did get someone (lightheartedly) criticizing me giving Juno Nezha for an eidolon hunt which wasn't hate and also i found it hysterical. true warframe player right there to comment on my unoptimized build on a fic. not even remotely close to hate but i did just want to bring it up. it's like my favorite comment i've ever gotten

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? 

not that i post and honestly just not at all anymore really

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

nah. i've thought about a few but they're sort of like aus to me where it's just not usually my cup of tea

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? 

not that i know of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 

also not that i know of

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? 

@cappurrccino wrote some parts for the Devil Went Down to Faerun, which was a novelised version of an old dnd campaign we were in

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? 

Felwinter/Timur

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? 

Legacy. i have a lot of it written. i just keep. not posting it. i'm deeply sorry to the people in the comments of that fic who were really excited to see i started posting it again. i genuinely don't know what keeps happening

16. What are your writing strengths? 

uhh... i don't know... dialogue, probably. i cannot identify my own strengths but i usually like my dialogue exchanges

17. What are your writing weaknesses? 

plots. and atmospheric description. combat description also

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? 

i think it can be fun but i'm usually too scared i'll translate something wildly wrong lmao. i use greek as a stand-in for celestial in Tales from the Dancing Sea Dragon (another dnd campaign fic) bc i also use it at the table in that game bc i'm trying to learn greek and i do think it's fun to pepper in another language to your dnd character dialogue, especially if common isn't their first language. gives the roleplay a bit more flavor

19. First fandom you wrote for? 

hmm... transformers maybe? or warrior cats... i don't remember that was ages ago and those fics are all long gone

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

i'm biased so it's DWDTF. it was fun to write, trying to accurately put down the silliness of the table into writing, and it's fun to read (to me) and is easily the longest thing i've ever written. asra is still my favorite dnd character i've ever played, so i like to go back and read his adventures sometimes

Tagging:

@wingedarrows @flowers-of-io and. i am blanking so hard. on a) who juri already tagged and b) who else of my friends writes fic. so i'm terribly sorry. if you see this and juri didn't tag you consider yourself tagged by me