#I got mad because in How to Cook That's most recent video they were talking about gut microbiome health

[deerblossoms]

it is august and i’m 20 and i think this is the emptiest i’ve felt in years. it’s crazy because objectively my life is SO much better than it once was. i should be ecstatic every day and i don’t think i care really. i got on wellbutrin and was taking that with the lexapro until they ran out and then when i went to refill them they only gave me the wellbutrin. apparently my lexapro prescription was cancelled? i haven’t had the motivation to message my provider and honestly haven’t even had the motivation to take my meds at all. probably has something to do with the emptiness! but i dread it because now that i’m not consistently on wellbutrin, whenever i take one i seem to get suicidal and have a little freakout. could be coincidence but i’m not enjoying it! my life’s had so many ups and downs over the past few months. jo and i broke up, not mutually on their part but it had to be done. i’ve thought about it so many times and i don’t think there’s anything that could’ve been done differently. i think the turning point was december when we hooked up for the first time and after that we were just fated for this. anyway, it would have happened eventually. frankly if it hadn’t, i don’t think i’d know as much about myself as i do now but i hate that jo ended up being my fucking guinea pig for self discovery. besides, what i discovered is that i really am an ass. commitment issues, not very ethical in my non-monogamy, deeply avoidant, anger issues up the wazoo, completely non-communicative, etc. kayla and i are still seeing each other and have at least talked about WHY we’re not going to call it dating. and we’re not going to call it dating! largely because i’m a complete dick who it would be unwise to officially commit to.

i hooked up with my friend recently and then got later propositioned for a threesome by said person with our mutual friend. not exactly the life i expected for myself if i’m being honest! not like i’m mad about it. everyone thinks i’m crazy sexy these days and i would be a liar if i said it wasn’t going slightly to my head. but to be honest i don’t really think that’s a bad thing i’ve felt unsexy and unattractive my whole life! i deserve to feel like the shit.

i’ve been missing margarita lately which just sucks if i’m being honest because they have too much self-respect to actually talk to me. so we can’t even be friends. which is my fault! i screwed it up and there’s no way around that. but i miss them. i’ve started cooking a little more often recently but still only my one pasta recipe. and i realized i hadn’t drawn for like 8 months so now i’m trying to get back into it. i wish so deeply i could make myself do the things i want to do. i want to paint and sketch at home and go to life drawing classes and pottery classes and take photos and make collages and make videos of things and get back into editing and learn about fashion history and clothing and learn how to sew and live a life i’m proud of and instead i’m just the most bored person ever. i practically live at the bar by my job. i’m there more than my seasoned alcoholic friend who introduced me to the place in the first place. and i’ve made some of my best friends through this and i’m not going to act like that’s not the reason i go. i go to see them! but i think i also go to avoid going home because i’m afraid if i go home i’ll do nothing and feel like shit. and so i might as well do nothing in good company and feel like my time was spent well even if it was spent at the same bar every time. i’ll be there tonight without a SHADOW of a doubt.

in positive news it turns out that HR cut my hourly by $3 about 4 months ago and i only found out last month. have been really stressed and mad for a while about it! and when i brought it up to my boss the other day not only did he profusely apologize and tell me he’d get it fixed immediately and include a few weeks minimum of retropay, he also told me he’s going to give me a $1 raise on top of my initial rate. which is SO EXCITING!!!! AND AND AND lainey’s getting married in november in copenhagen and i’m invited!!! duh. the only stressful part is getting my passport and for some reason i’ve been putting it off for like 3 months which means now i am like. super super down to the wire and i’ll definitely have to pay the extra $60 to get it expedited. which is……fine! now that i have my RAISE.

i’ve been missing my parents a little more recently. i can’t say that i know why. i’m not really missing them but i’m missing who i wish they were for me. or wishing they were the best parts of themselves, i guess. i miss drawing with my mom and goofing around and watching tv and eating snacks and going to cafes and i wish that i could go hiking with her now that there’s less tension and i have an appreciation for it. and i miss hanging out with my dad and listening to music together and taking trips and i miss when i was little and we would dance in the kitchen together and it hurts so much that i don’t get that anymore. i barely got it to begin with past like, 9. we would get along so well if they wouldn’t take one look at me and hate me. and it’s not fair because i love my parents and i can’t stand them anyway. and there is a part of me that can never forgive them for the years of abuse they inflicted on me. especially because they’re never going to understand the toll they took on me! everything’s so bittersweet these days and when it’s not it’s usually just bitter. but most of it’s bittersweet. and i guess this is a depressive episode but it just feels so boring. it’s just one big all-consuming hole inside me. sometimes i think i’d be happier in washington and then i remember how i’m actually just bored everywhere. honestly i’ll be happier once i get my license and passport because then i’ll be able to drive upstate to the apple orchards and the waterfalls and the cute little towns and the ren faire and then to canada and see everything beautiful.

[lucy90712]

Telling family (pregnancy series)

Series masterlist

George:

Last night me and George decided that we would tell our families about the pregnancy, we have held off for a little while to come to terms with it ourselves and to kind of enjoy it without anyone else knowing even though we are very excited to tell people.

Tomorrow we are going to see my parents so it is the perfect time to tell them I just don't really know how to do it. I don't want to just say it because that feels wrong I feel like it should be more exciting than that so I need to come up with another way which is what I have been doing while scrolling through Pinterest.

I showed George a few ideas to get his opinion but he wasn't keen on any of them until I showed him one that had an ultrasound picture and a little note that was originally covering it. George really liked the idea because it was simple but also gave my parents something to remember the moment by so that's what we chose which we would get together in the morning before we leave.

In the morning I got one of my ultrasound pictures that we didn't have up somewhere and took a small piece of paper writing 'I can't wait to meet you' on it as well as drew a little baby bottle and stuck it over the ultrasound before putting it in a little box.

We got to my parents house and they let us in and we sat down with them for a drink, I thought about telling them right away but I also wanted to have a normal conversation first that wasn't all revolving around the exciting news.

We had a lovely conversation first before I felt like I should tell them, I gave George a look as I went to go and get the box by saying I was going to go to the bathroom which I did because my bladder has been so bad recently but on my way back I grabbed the box. I gave it to my mum and told her to open it but she had to show my dad too.

"I can't wait to meet you what does that mean?" My dad asked

"Lift up the piece of paper" I said

"No way congratulations you two this is so wonderful" my mum said

"Congratulations" my dad added

We all hugged one another before we told them a few more things like how far along I was and they asked what we think we are going to have and other things.

Dream:

Tonight we have been invited to a family dinner at Clay's parents so we have decided to use the opportunity to tell them the exciting news about the pregnancy. Clay has been wanting to tell them so badly for ages but I made him hold off a little bit just until we could be more certain that things were going well because I didn't want to have to break other peoples heats by telling them if things went wrong.

I left it up to clay to decide how he wanted to tell them because after all its his family and as much as I get along super well with them its up to him to decide how he wants to remember this moment.

At his parents house we sat down for dinner and I had to be careful with what I ate so that I didn't start feeling too sick or else that might give somethings away before clay gets chance to do whatever he has planned. The meal came to an end and clay looked like he was getting ready to tell them.

"We have seem news for you, we're expecting" he said

"No way I refuse to believe that this isn't some sort of joke" his mom said

"I can prove it" he said

He grabbed his wallet and pulled out the ultrasound picture that he carries round with him all the time because he just loves it so much. He showed them and they finally believed him and started freaking out, his sister was super excited and asked me a bunch of questions which I was more than happy to answer. It felt nice for someone to finally know and to have someone to be just as excited as us.

Sapnap:

Telling our parents so far has been the worst thing ever. My parents were so angry at both of us but specifically me and now I haven't talked to them since we told them which is the main reason we haven't told Sapnap's parents yet out of fear for the same reaction. Sapnap has assured me that his parents will be much more supportive than mine and will offer any kind of help they can but I'm scared that they will think of me differently. I have to face my fear at some point and that happens to be today. Sapnap is getting me to go to his parents place with him and he is going to tell his parents I'm not sure how but he said he would warn me before he does it.

We hung out with them for a little while before Sapnap squeezed my hand and gave me a look to say he was about to tell them. My hands started to sweat and shake at the same time because of the nerves building up in my body.

"Ok please don't be mad but y/n is pregnant" he said

"Oh wow thats not what I expected" his mom said

"You aren't mad are you?" He asked

"No of course not I mean sure you could have waited but I will support you and the excitement is building" she said

She gave him and me a hug and we showed her pictures we have from ultrasounds and stuff which improved the vibe in the room to one of excitement and not awkwardness.

Quackity:

We have been telling family slowly over the past few weeks whenever we get chance to see them and everyone has been over the moon. The only person left to tell is my grandma who is quite old fashioned so I have a feeling she will be mad at me seeing as me and Alex aren't married which makes it even more nerve wracking.

I'm going to see her this afternoon and Alex is going to join me when he finishes working on a video so he can be there to face the lecture with me. My grandma is a lovely lady and I love to spend time with her but she sure can be scary when she's telling you off.

Alex arrived about an hour after I did and we sat down to eat some cake my grandma had made because she insists that I eat whenever I go and visit her. After she was satisfied that I had eaten enough I got a chance to tell her.

"Grandma I have something to show you" I said

"Oh what is it?" She asked

I showed her a few ultrasound pictures that we have

"What are these?" She asked

"They are my ultrasound pictures" I explained

"That's wonderful dear I'm very happy for you when do I get to meet them" she said

I answered all her questions and she did mention if we planned to get married but she wasn't at all mad which surprised me but I guess my parents have talked to her a few times about how society has changed.

Karl:

Karl's mom is coming over for dinner today so I've been in the kitchen the past few hours preparing and cooking a meal for all of us trying to make it perfect because we are going to use this opportunity to tell his mom about the pregnancy and I want it to be a memorable moment for both of them.

His mom arrived and we had a lovely dinner which turned out pretty good from how little I know about cooking. Karl was so happy and kept squeezing my hand under the table or just giggling like he normally does when he gets happy. After dinner we invited his mom to stay over for a bit to just kind of chill with us which is when Karl got ready to tell her.

"Mom are you ready to be a grandma?" Karl asked

"Wait is y/n pregnant?" She questioned

"Yeah she is" Karl confirmed

She was incredibly happy mainly because she has always jokingly asked when she is going to get grandchildren or when we are going to get married so for it to actually be happening made her really happy.

Wilbur:

This weekend me and Wilbur are going to visit his parents and to just get away for the weekend, they don't know about the pregnancy yet because Wilbur wanted to tell them in person so we are going to tell them this weekend.

We spent all of Saturday and most of Sunday just chilling with his parents so that we could spend time with them without the focus being on other things but when it got to the evening Wilbur started fidgeting so I knew he was getting nervous. I took hold of his hand and squeezed it to reassure him.

"We have some news for you" Wilbur started

"What is it?" His mum asked

"Y/n's pregnant" he said

"Oh wow I didn't expect that but congratulations" they said

Safe to say they were very surprised because they knew we weren't planning to have kids yet but once they saw that we were excited they got excited too. I showed them some ultrasound pictures of our little bean and gave them one to keep.

[dottielovegood]

ASMR - Chapter 4

Elriel fanfiction

About this fic:

Azriel can’t sleep Elain has an ASMR channel Match made in heaven (or you know, on youtube..)

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You can find chapter 1 here, chapter 2 here and chapter 3 here

Read this fic on AO3

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The following week, Azriel read Elain’s messages too many times to admit. He had answered her that “meat banjo” was, indeed, a vile word, and after that, they hadn’t really talked or texted.

He had saved her number as “Elain”, which had felt weirdly private. As if they were friends, which they were not. He was just her friendly helper, and she was his remedy for nightmares.

However, even though they didn’t know each other, Azriel felt an odd sensation in his chest when he thought about her. If he didn’t know better, he would have thought that he was missing her, which was absurd. But the tight little knot in his chest felt very much like longing. He tried to tell himself that this was weird and stupid. He knew that he had a crush on her (even though he hated to admit it), but he could also see that it was a pointless crush. She was an internet sensation, he was a boring IT guy. She was light and happiness and flowers, he was dark and brooding. She made people smile, he made people uncomfortable. And then there was the practical side of things. They had met on the internet. She probably lived on the other side of the country. Hell, she could even live in a different country for all he knew. She might have a partner already - it’s not like he asked. And, last but not least, she probably didn’t have a crush on him.

Before talking to her on the phone, he had just thought that she was a pretty girl that deserved kindness. But after their phone call, he had definitely developed a crush. Which was another reason why he hadn’t texted her. He didn’t want to bother her and he didn’t want to have this crush. He wanted to stop feeling like this for a girl he would never see in real life. Yet, every night before bed, he found himself on her youtube page, watching one of her many videos.

She uploaded a new video to Youtube every Friday, so when Friday came around, Azriel was itching to get home so he could go to sleep (he told himself that he was looking forward to sleeping and not to seeing her face).

However, he had an entire workday to get through first. The office was mostly an open landscape and Azriel’s desk was next to Cassian’s. The only person with his own office was Rhysand, which was fair since he was the owner of the company. At two in the afternoon, Rhys poked his head out of his office.

“You guys are still coming for dinner this weekend, right?”

“Yeah,” Azriel and Cassian answered in unison.

“I told Feyre that I would help her with the food,” Azriel continued.

Rhys looked like he was going to kiss Azriel. “Oh, god. Thank you, man. I was scared that we would have to repeat the Christmas dinner,” he said and shuddered.

Feyre hated to cook and Rhys did most of the cooking at home, but for some inexplicable reason, she always wanted to cook for holidays or family dinners. To everyone’s dismay. Christmas had been no exception. She had burned the turkey, added salt instead of sugar to the dessert and somehow managed to buy the wrong berries for her cranberry sauce. Luckily, Rhys had been prepared and bought a few frozen pizzas and some ice cream, so the day wasn’t that much of a disaster, but nobody wanted to brave Feyre’s cooking again.

“Why don’t you just cook?” Cassian asked without looking up from his screen.

“You know that she kicks me out if I so much as go near the kitchen when we have these family dinners. And since she started the hormone treatment, she has been a bit bitchy when she gets mad, so I’ll just do whatever she says.”

Azriel chuckled. He could tell from Rhysand’s tone that Feyre had been more than “a bit” bitchy.

“I don’t understand why she lets Azriel help, though…”

“Maybe because she knows that I’ll tell her to sit down with a glass of wine and a magazine, and then she can take all of the credit for the food?”

“Fair enough.” Rhys shrugged. “Just burn the food a little bit, or it won’t be believable.”

Cassian snorted. “No one would believe that something edible was made by your wife. Sorry.”

“She does make a great green smoothie, though,” Rhys grinned and held up his glass.

Azriel and Cassian looked at each other and had to bite their tongues to keep from laughing. The smoothie looked vile and smelled even worse.

After a few more minutes of small talk, Rhys went back to his office for an important phone call. “See you on Saturday,” he reminded them before closing the door.

Azriel and Cassian worked in silence for the remainder of the day.

When Azriel came home that evening, he made a quick pasta carbonara to eat in front of the TV. He was re-watching New Girl. It was his comfort show and absolutely nobody knew that he watched it (and had watched it multiple times). He would take that information with him to the grave. But it was fun and cute and sometimes he liked to imagine his friends as characters in the show. Cassian was probably Schmidt, because Nesta was one hundred percent Cece. Feyre was Jess, which meant that Rhys was Nick. And then there was Azriel. He wanted to say that he was a very cool character, but most characters on this show weren’t cool, and also, he was definitely Winston. Alone with a cat - sounds about right , Azriel thought to himself as he finished his bowl of pasta.

When the episode ended he just waited for the next to start. He didn’t have any plans for the night and nowhere to be. His phone vibrated where he had left it on the kitchen counter. He ignored it, feeling too lazy to get up. But then it vibrated again. With a sigh, he got up. He expected to see a text from Mor telling him to bring wine tomorrow, or maybe a strange meme from Cassian. What he didn’t expect was to see Elain’s name on his screen.

He could feel his heart in his throat as he read her messages.

Elain Hey, Shadowsinger. I’m uploading a new video soon. You should watch it!

Elain I hope that message didn’t sound creepy? I just meant that I think you might like it.

Azriel’s hands were sweaty.

Azriel You didn’t sound creepy at all. Of course, I’ll watch your video. May I ask what I can expect from it?

Just seconds later, Elain answered.

Elain You can ask, but I might not tell ;)

Azriel Should I be worried?

Elain Haha, no! I think it turned out great. You were my inspiration :)

Azriel could feel himself blush. He had never been someone’s inspiration before.

Azriel So, I’m your muse? ;)

Oh god, was that too flirty? Was the winky-face too much? He wished that he could take back the message.

Elain For tonight, yes!

Azriel stared at his phone, unsure of what to answer. Luckily, Elain wrote to him again.

Elain What are you doing tonight?

Azriel Nothing. Just eating pasta and watching TV. How about you?

Elain That sounds amazing. I have been editing this video for hours so I’m just tired and cranky, haha. I have just ordered a pizza and I think I’ll just eat it in bed as soon as this video has finished uploading. What did you watch?

Azriel If I told you, I would have to kill you.

Elain Oh, intriguing! Is it trashy drama? I bet it’s Grey’s anatomy! Or maybe… Love Island?

Azriel stared at his phone. Did she really think that he would watch something like Love Island?

Azriel I watched New Girl, okay. Don’t tell anyone.

Elain Your secret is safe with me! Also, I love New Girl! Especially Winston!

It felt as if someone was squeezing Azriel’s heart.

Azriel Really? Which character would you be?

Elain My pizza is here so I am going to put all of my electronics in a different room and eat my pizza while reading a good book. It was great talking to you, Azriel! Please tell me what you thought of the video when you have watched it.

Elain Oh, and I would probably be Winston’s cat. lol

Azriel almost dropped his phone. If he had to be alone with a cat for the rest of his life, he would definitely want Elain to be his cat , he thought to himself. Which was a weird thing to think about someone you didn’t know. Azriel dropped his head to his kitchen counter and took a deep breath before replying.

Azriel It was great talking to you too, Elain. Enjoy your dinner and your book :)

She didn’t answer, but she didn’t have to. Azriel was going to be thinking about her for the rest of the night anyway.

30 minutes later, he got a notification telling him that Flower Girl ASMR had uploaded a new video. The video was called “ASMR for IT-guys”, which made him chuckle. He clicked the video and Elain’s beautiful face filled his screen again.

“Hello, my lovelies, lovelies, lovelies,” she whispered in her microphone. “This week’s video will be a bit different,” she continued, slowly moving her hands in front of the camera. “This video was inspired by my friend who recently helped me with some computer-related issues, issues, issues.”

Azriel loved it when she repeated words like that. And he liked that he somehow was a part of this video. It was something that connected them. Azriel paused the video and got into bed, knowing fully well that he would probably fall asleep soon if he kept watching this.

He pressed play again. “So, today, I thought that we would try a few computer-related triggers. I have a keyboard here,” she said and started typing on a keyboard that was out of view. “I thought that I would say a few trigger words while typing them.”

She smiled at the camera and pressed a few more keys. “I just wrote my friend’s name, but you won’t get to know who he is. But you know who you are. Thank you for your help!”

Azriel felt all warm inside.

She continued the video. “The first trigger word is IP address ”. Azriel laughed as she repeated the word multiple times while typing quickly.

“And then we have, laptop, laptop, laptop,” she continued, and Azriel felt shivers go down his spine when she popped the p’s.

Azriel had never thought that he would fall asleep to someone whispering “HTML coding” in his ears, but here he was. Relaxed and ready to sleep.

All thanks to Flower Girl ASMR.

━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━

The next day, Azriel texted Elain that he had loved the video. He waited for hours, but no reply came. Maybe she just wanted to repay me for helping her? Azriel thought. Maybe she would stop talking to him now that he had seen the video.

The thought of never talking to Elain again made him feel a new kind of ache in his chest. An ache he didn’t want to feel. This stupid crush needs to end, he muttered to himself as he started to scrub his kitchen counter. He tried to ignore the feeling by keeping busy. He cleaned his apartment and did some laundry before heading over to his friends’ house.

Rhys greeted him by the door and ushered him inside.

“She started cooking like 15 minutes ago, please save whatever can be saved,” he whispered to Azriel. Azriel chuckled and made his way to the kitchen. On the way there, he passed the living room and stopped to greet his friends. He saw most of them on a daily basis because of work, but he was still happy to see them. Cassian and his fiancée Nesta sat close together on one of the green velvet couches. On the opposite couch sat Mor and Amren. Mor was one of the journalists at Velaris News, and Amren was an editor. They had known each other for years. Amren and Rhys had studied together at university, and Mor was Rhysand’s cousin. Once upon a time, Azriel had a crush on Mor. One night after one too many glasses at Rita’s he confessed his feelings to her and she had looked horrified. He had expected her to tell him that she didn’t fancy him and leave it at that, but instead, she had blurted “I like girls!”

Azriel was the first person she ever came out to, and he had felt honored. He also knew now that they wouldn’t have worked out together in the long run (even if Mor had been straight). They were just too different. She was energetic and outgoing and fun, he needed peace and quiet. But she was still one of his very best friends.

Amren on the other hand, he didn’t know as well. She had always been very private, but she was damn good at her job.

“Where’s Varian tonight?” Azriel asked Amren, trying to make small talk.

“How should I know?” she answered quickly. “I’m not his mother.”

Cassian stared at her. “But you are his girlfriend?”

She shrugged. “I don’t like to label things.”

Nesta rolled her eyes. Amren had lived with Varian for the past two years, but she was still reluctant to tell anyone about their relationship.

Azriel made his way into the kitchen, and from what he could tell, he made it just in time.

“What are you making, Feyre?” he asked, because truthfully, he couldn’t tell.

Feyre turned around quickly as if he had startled her. “Oh, hi Az,” she said and wiped her forehead with the back of her hand.

Something was burning.

“I was trying to make lamb chops with glazed carrots, roasted potatoes, and salsa verde, but…” she gestured to the stove, which looked like a disaster.

Azriel chuckled. “That’s ambitious.” He lifted the lid from one of the pots and could clearly see that she had overcooked the lamb 10 minutes ago. Also, why had she made them in a pot, and not a frying pan? It would be inedible.

The potatoes were still in the sink, unpeeled.

She gave him a strained smile. “Will you help me?”

“Of course.” Azriel put the grocery bag he had brought with him on the kitchen island. “On one condition.”

“Anything.” She sounded desperate.

“Please, for the love of god, let Rhys cook when we come over. You really don’t have to show off. You are good at many things, Feyre. But cooking is unfortunately not one of them.”

She nodded. “I know,” she sat down on one of the stools at the kitchen island and buried her face in her hand. “I just...I need to be able to cook when I become a mother.”

Azriel took her hand in his. “You really don’t. Nobody expect fathers to be good at cooking, so why should every mother be good at it? Honestly, just let Rhys cook while you play with the kids.”

She smiled at him. “That actually sounds amazing,” she sighed.

“Right?”

Azriel started to pull out some ingredients from the bag on the kitchen island. He held up the tomatoes and the spaghetti, “How about some pasta arrabbiata with burrata?”

“Sounds fancy.”

He shrugged. “Everything sounds fancier in a different language. It’s just pasta with a spicy tomato sauce, and burrata on top.”

“Whatever you make will probably be better than that mess,” she said and glanced towards the stove. Azriel couldn’t disagree.

“Probably,” he laughed and got to work. Azriel placed all the pots and pans in the sink and started chopping the vegetables for the sauce, and in just 30 minutes, dinner was served.

“You are my hero,” Feyre said and kissed his cheek as she carried the big bowl of pasta to the dining room.

Everyone had already gathered around the table, wine glasses in hand. As Azriel sat down, Mor poured him some wine.

“This looks amazing,” Nesta said and Cassian nodded in agreement.

“Thanks, Az helped a little,” Feyre said and winked at Azriel.

“Just a bit,” Azriel said and took a sip of wine.

The conversation (and wine) flowed freely, as it always did. Cassian and Nesta told them about their wedding plans, Mor gushed about Emerie, a girl she was dating, and Feyre told them about life as a high school art teacher. Azriel would never understand how anyone could choose to spend their days with teenagers, but Feyre loved it.

After two bottles of wine, Nesta and Mor were in an argument about which animal was the cutest.

“No, I am telling you, Sloths are cuter than any animal ever,” Mor exclaimed. “Have you seen their dopey little faces?”

“Sloths? Really?” Nesta looked at her as if she had suggested that the sky was green. “Red pandas are way cuter! They are cute and cuddly, Sloths just look like every single stoner I went to high school with.”

They had been at it for 10 minutes, which Azriel found to be quite impressive.

“Can you both just shut up?” Amren gritted out. “The cutest animals are koalas. They’re even cute when they fight. I am right, you are wrong. Please stop this meaningless discussion before I die from boredom.”

Nesta and Mor looked at Amren, and then at each other.

“We obviously have to see Koalas fight if you want us to end this conversation,” Mor said.

Nesta nodded. “Obviously. Give me your phone, Az,” she said and reached for his phone.

“Why do you need my phone?”

“Because mine is dead and yours is right there on the table. Also, your screen is big and we need to watch this in full HD, for obvious reasons.”

Azriel huffed a laugh, unlocked his phone, and handed it to Nesta.

She clicked the Youtube app, and then her face fell. She looked at Azriel as if he was an alien, and then she showed the phone to Cassian who looked at him with the same facial expression.

What the hell had they found?

He didn’t have anything weird on his phone. And he sure as hell didn’t watch porn on it.

“What?” Azriel asked, and Nesta turned the phone.

Fuck. The last video he had watched was still loaded on Youtube, and of course, it was Elain’s latest video.

“What the hell is this?” Nesta asked, almost looking angry.

Azriel didn’t understand why she found ASMR so wrong, but he desperately wanted to explain himself.

“Well, it’s ASMR. It’s kind of… well, it’s hard to explain, but it helps me sleep and– “

Nesta interrupted him before he could finish. “I know what ASMR is. I am wondering why you are watching Elain?”

Azriel stared at Nesta in shock. Did she also like Elain’s videos? But that wouldn’t explain the anger and confusion.

“Do you...know her?” Azriel asked.

“Yes, we went to university together. She’s our florist for the wedding. She was the florist at their wedding, too,” Nesta answered and gestured towards Rhys and Feyre. “Surely you have met her?”

Azriel could do nothing but shake his head in confusion. If he had ever met Elain, he would have known. You didn’t forget a face like hers.

“Please tell me you’re not stalking her like some creep, Az. Honestly, her last boyfriend was the world’s biggest asshat.”

“I’m not stalking her,” Azriel blurted out. “I’m just watching her videos to fall asleep, I promise. I– I didn’t know that you knew her.”

Nesta eyed him suspiciously. “So, is this just a coincidence?”

He nodded. “Weirder things have happened,” he said, trying to lighten the mood.

Nesta glanced at Cassian, and then back at Azriel. “Fine,” she said after a small eternity. “You would probably be cute together anyway. Sorry for insinuating that you would be a stalker.” She really did look remorseful. “That wasn’t fair. I’m just very protective of her. She’s the nicest girl, but she has horrendous taste in men.”

Azriel couldn’t answer, because his mind was still stuck on the fact that Nesta said that they would be cute together. He wanted to ask Nesta why she thought that. He kind of also wanted to ask her if Elain lived here in Velaris, and what her favorite movie was, and if she, by any chance, had a boyfriend. But he refrained, he didn’t want to sound like a stalker.

“So, what the fuck is ASMR?” Cassian asked. “Is it like porn?”

Before Azriel could answer, Rhys said “It’s like porn for your ears, I guess,” and then the entire table was laughing.

“Nesta,” Feyre said when the laughter had died down. “Does Elain still have that cute, little shop on River Street?”

“Mhm,” Nesta answered and took a sip of her wine.

Azriel could kiss Feyre for asking. And if he wasn’t mistaken, he could see her wink in his direction before raising her water glass to her lips.

Azriel walked home that evening with a million thoughts in his head.

He made a list in his head:

Elain lived in Velaris

River Street was literally a 10-minute walk from his home.

Nesta thought that they would be cute together

This meant nothing

She probably didn’t even like him back

Just because they were in the same city, it didn’t mean that they would ever meet.

This was still just a crush

And it was probably one-sided

She hadn’t even answered his latest text message.

And as if on cue, his phone vibrated in his pocket.

Elain I’m sorry that I didn’t answer you earlier. I’ve been at work all day. We had a leak in the basement and everything was just chaos. I haven’t even checked my phone until now.

He mentally scratched number 9 from his list.

Azriel No worries! Did you fix the leak?

Azriel checked the time on his phone: 23.30

Had she dealt with this leak until now?

Elain Yes! But so many flowers were ruined (I’m a florist) and I had to remake a few arrangements for a wedding that’s coming up.

Elain I’m sorry. You probably don’t care. I’m happy that you liked the video :)

Azriel wanted to tell her that he did care. That everything she said was interesting to him. He would probably even find her Starbucks order fascinating. But that bordered on stalker behavior.

Azriel Again, no worries! Sometimes when you’ve had a bad day, you just need someone to vent to.

Elain Exactly! Thank you for letting me vent :) This day is finally over!

There was a selfie attached to the last message.

Elain was standing in front of a big window surrounded by flowers. She was wearing a white, oversized shirt and her hair was in a messy bun. She looked tired but happy. She was giving him ‘thumbs up’ in the photo and through the window, he could see the Sidra. They were indeed in the same city. It made him both happy and nervous.

Elain Sweaty but happy to be heading home :)

Azriel received that last message when he walked through the door to his apartment. What the hell was he supposed to answer?

But then he thought back to Nesta’s words.

You would probably be cute together.

So he took a deep breath and gathered all his courage.

Azriel You still look beautiful though

He stared at his phone. Would she answer? Would she block him? Would she tell him to stop being a creep?

Elain Thank you :) What do you look like? I might have forgotten ;)

Okay. That was flirty. Even Azriel could tell that that was a flirty text message, and he was usually oblivious to such things. He quickly walked to his bathroom (it was the room with the best lighting). He checked his shirt (no stains) and mussed with his hair.

“Good enough,” he muttered, and snapped a selfie.

Before he could chicken out, he sent it to her.

Within seconds, he received a reply.

Elain Beautiful!

[self-shipping-hell]

Random things about Sharky, because I'm about to go to bed and I need to spill until I'm tired.

🔥 Sharky and I started dating because one time he said, "Serious, if you were into dudes I'd be all over you like a dog on peanut butter." He didn't realize I was bi. Boy did he learn.

🔥 Sharks can swing dance like a fucking pro. I don't know how he learned it, but it's such a pain in the ass to actually get him to swing dance with me. His fault for doing it that one time. Now, I'm hooked.

🔥 Can't cook to save his life. Can't grill either, because he gets too carried away with the fire.

🔥 I have come home to a fire and weiners on sticks for dinner. I've never been happier than those nights I'm leaned against Sharky's chest, roasting hotdogs and trying to figure out if those were satellites or shooting stars overhead.

🔥 The man is a walking, talking heater. Sometimes I have to shove him to the other side of the bed to keep myself from sweating the mattress into a water bed.

🔥 Got him a switchblade recently, and he's surprisingly decent at it. But his hands are so burnt and scarred his dexterity isn't what it should be.

🔥 I have watched Sharky just straight up reach into a fire to flip a log. Since I chewed him out the first time he tries to do it behind my back, the fucker.

🔥 Loves horror movies and corny 80's action movies. He's lucky I actually like The Beastmaster, or I would've thrown out that disc forever ago with how much we've watched it.

🔥 Keen on certain musicals. If they're the kind you don't feel embarrassed singing along to, at least.

🔥 When we play video games I kick his ass like nobody's business! Until we get to Mario Kart, then I get my ass handed to me so bad Sharky'll try to actively handicap himself so I have a chance. It's demeaning and I do not stand for it!

🔥 Sharks has the cutest fucking tummy, istfg when he stretches and some panza pops out ogjwjqxkowqoqo

🔥 Used to be indifferent to bugs, but now rushes to me to ask about the critters he finds. Half the time I don't know, and he'll push anyway, so I gotta make some shit up.

🔥 So fucking handy. The handiest handyman, ever. We also run out of duct tape all the time

🔥 Gave me some of the realest advice on getting high, and makes sure I never go on a bad trip. Apparently Sharky's had one too many from a lack of self-moderation.

🔥 Loves getting massages. His hands and shoulders need it the most.

🔥 Needs reassurances sometimes that I love him and don't want anyone else. This is also why when I hear someone talk shit I'm ready to bite their head off.

🔥 Neither of us have a filter. Good luck to anyone that so much as has to listen in our bullshit.

🔥 There is no privacy in our relationship when it comes to Hurk. His cousin is like my second boyfriend with how much he knows, and honestly I'm not even mad. There's worse folks Sharky could have been friends with, and Hurk's cool as hell.

[workingforitallthetime]

svech: a very serious and responsible primer

ok @totally-necessary​ and @needsmore​, i am gonna write you an andrei svechnikov primer and i am going to do my best to produce a work of responsible well-sourced expository prose instead of an embarrassing thirsty disaster like the rest of my andrei svechnikov blogging.

here is my introductory paragraph:

wait, no, give me another shot. i swear i can actually do this. here is my introductory paragraph:

HOW CAN I NOT LOVE THIS GOOD-NATURED FEARLESS JOYFUL SHOULDER-FRECKLED SEX KITTEN????? HOW CAN I DO ANYTHING BUT CRY ALL THE TIME?????

.......ok. sorry. let me try it again. i’ll do it right this time, i promise. here is my introductory paragraph:

once upon a time in siberia, two-year-old andrei svechnikov put on skates for the first time and cried because he couldn’t follow his big brother evgeny onto the ice. eventually evgeny’s coach let andrei join the team’s workouts, and then coach started giving the older players a hard time when andrei would beat them.

the backstory of the svech bros sounds a lot like every other hockey kid who didn’t grow up privileged: parents who worked multiple jobs and sacrificed and moved cities to make sure the kids got hockey opportunities. in interviews, the svechnikov brothers have referenced not knowing where food or clothes were going to come from, and they emphasize how close it made them. evgeny says:

Having a brother that we eat from one plate--sleep in one bed sometimes--we went through everything. It's just one person by your side always. It's like going hunting alone or with somebody.

they wear the same number. they talk every day. as soon as the season paused in march, evgeny drove to north carolina. lately, they’re hanging out in michigan. basically, if hockey is not being played, they are together. basically, if you are going to write a primer about andrei, the most important thing is evgeny.

(my theory is that evgeny is at least part of the reason andrei does not like it when dougie and foegs joke about him being their kid brother. it’s the only joke i’ve ever seen svech refuse to roll with.)

evgeny got drafted by the red wings in 2015 (round 1, 19th overall). he started out with the AHL affiliate in grand rapids, and in 2016 mama svech packed up andrei and moved from russia to michigan. andrei played a season for the muskegon lumberjacks in the USHL. he led the team in scoring and was named USHL rookie of the year. the next season he was the first selection in the CHL import draft, and played for the barrie colts.

ok, so while we’re knocking out the backstory, i want to note that svech’s full name is Andrei Igorevich Svechnikov. don’t tell me that’s not sexy.

furthermore, the very spelling of andrei is sexy. i had a russian-speaking colleague once who had a son named andrei and she would say his name with a little lift at the end. not like the i added another syllable, just like a little caress. i hear it that way when i type it. it makes me happy to type that i at the end. andrei. andrei.

oh sorry, did i veer off topic?

the carolina hurricanes selected andrei second overall in the 2018 draft. he looked just as dumb as everybody always does in their draft night jersey photos, but here’s his draft day suit:

oh wait, can’t pass up the opportunity for a combine photo

did i say COMBINE? i meant JAWLINE

wait one more photo from the combine, just because he looks especially dead poets society in this one:

upon moving to raleigh, andrei emphatically wanted to live alone, which seems unusual for an 18-year-old entering the NHL and is therefore fertile ground for all sorts of headcanons. he keeps his floors very clean and gets mad when his buddies won’t take their shoes off. i am not making this up. he lives in the same apartment complex as dougie hamilton, warren foegele, joel edmundson (rip), and teuvo teravainen. andrei does not cook and he’s constantly calling them to see who wants to go out to eat.

in that last video i linked you can see foegs stumble and jump off his scooter just before he hits the gate to their parking garage. then the gate rises like magic and svech glides straight through. this is an unsubtle metaphor for andrei svechnikov’s entire athletic existence.

svech purportedly does not play video games, which is wild to me. instead, he practices magic tricks. again, i am not making this up.

wait i’m sorry it’s been at least ten minutes since i looked at a picture of andrei svechnikov holding a bunch of kittens

ok where was i.

svech had a pretty solid rookie season in 2018-19, but you can look up the numbers elsewhere if you want them. he was the first player born this century to score in the NHL but we don’t like to think about his 2000 birthdate. he played on a line with jordan martinook for a lot of that first season, and you can read more about that romantic nonsense in the ship primer i’ll be writing next. more recently the canes have settled into a top line of svech, sebastian aho, and teuvo teravainen, which is a pretty deadly combo.

one incident of note from svech’s rookie season is that he got knocked the fuck out by alex ovechkin. we’ll be talking more about that in the ship primer too, but if you want the video it’s here.

here, have a little celly:

svech’s most touted accomplishment is scoring the NHL’s first-ever Michigan-style lacrosse goal. this article has a very good description of how it worked. the postgame interview from that game is so endearing it makes me want to claw my face off. he’s talking so fast (for him) and he keeps repeating that his brother taught it to him, just absolutely determined to make sure everyone knows this milestone belongs to evgeny too.

also, this season, he scored the first playoff hat trick in franchise history.

the thing about andrei svechnikov is that nobody has a bad word to say about him. everybody thinks he’s an amazing player (”skilled and tenacious yet loose and creative”) and everybody compliments his work ethic (shooting pucks for hours after practice or a game) and journalists call him a “transcendent star.” everybody says he’s a great person. everybody calls him special. jordan martinook says svech never has a bad word to say about anyone.

ok it’s kitten time again!

more svech facts of note:

drives a black mercedes, poorly. “he wants to win on the road, too,” says foegs.

his voice gets very soft when he is uncertain about something but he’s loud when he wins a card game. (”GOOD NIGHT, BROTHER! SEE YOU NEXT GAME!”)

loves french toast for breakfast.

guilty pleasure is milkshakes.

if he was an animal, he’d be a bear (”like a russian bear.”)

does monster summer workouts with ivan provorov

look how fucking cute he is

the invaluable social media team over at hurricanes hq understands the svech content the world needs. i’m gonna tackle some more of this in the ship primer, but here are the best ones:

who’s your daddy? this video features svech confusedly asking “daddy?”, which is literally everything i ever want in fic or in life. once he finally understands he’s expected to choose between two teammates, he chooses the one who’s his buddy. and then after he’s catcalled from offscreen, he slouches down in his chair and changes his answer. “both,” he mutters, looking unbearably smug. “both.”

cookie face. it takes marty a very entertaining 49 seconds to eat the cookie. then svech hacks the game and wins in 7 second flat. “he’s good at everything,” marty marvels from offscreen.

this is a terrible concept for a video but it does feature svech and dougie doing the famous scene from stepbrothers, and svech giving a sweeping bow. i will forgive him for wearing a duke hat but only because he wears a tarheels hat in the three amigos video above.

has it been too long since a kitten photo? it’s definitely been too long since a kitten photo.

in conclusion, andrei svechnikov is a massive life-ruining problem and also he is perfect. i love him.

[1ddotdhq]

💐Fri 4 Dec ‘20 🌍

Cooking competitions were fought, flower shops were opened, petitions were signed, and today was all in all a lovely, gentle sort of day! 

Before last night’s Variety show, real!Harry popped back on instagram to tell Kid Harpoon that the producer award he got was “Fake News” and to “Stop the Count”. Look if Harry wants to keep showing more personality on Instagram I WANT TO SEE IT! Then Variety’s show aired, and Niall and Harry were “there”: Niall presented Lewis Capaldi’s “songwriter of the year” award (in response to it, Lewis thanked the other songwriters for “being a worse songwriter than me”), and Harry, of course, was the Hitmaker of the year! He was introduced by a lot of Big Industry People who all decided to say that they were, uh, so proud of him for leaving a boyband and becoming a rock star? Ah, good, that means it’s the “elitist music takes” segment of the hour. When are people gonna realize that shitting on a really successful, record breaking band in order to say nice things about Harry (one of its members!) is not the compliment they think it is. Nick Kroll's longer intro was at least more interesting, sharing some DWD set moments, confirmed that Harry is a ‘manly man’, and jokingly said that he and his wife and Harry have become a throuple (ANOTHER threesome? Really Harry?). Harry then showed up, looking pretty tired (he’s been doing very long hours, guys!) and wearing his dick banana necklace, and said, “Thanks to [my team] and everyone who supported me through it...thanks to the label for leaving me alone..this is...cool. Cool. I’m gonna get back in the studio”. Cool! 

Anyways, that discourse was quickly overtaken by the revelation that Harry DID pay his touring crew back in the spring when his tour was postponed: it came from a local Belgian publication in Ghent, where a man named Yves Van Acker has opened a flower shop (yes I DO think that this sounds like the beginning of a fairy tale!). Anyways, Yves has toured with a number of famous bands over the years, Harry being most recent. “The entire crew was suddenly out of work,” Yves said of Love On Tour’s crew, “But Harry Styles did not want to leave us. Each member was therefore paid an amount. A nice gesture, on which I decided to do something positive with this latest income”. A few things about this 1.) it was not just a nice gesture, it’s the Right Thing to DO! He’s paying people for work he hired them to do! 2.) It's wonderful enough to see, in fact, that it really isn't actually necessary to inflate: the employee told us that he received an amount, clearly a decent amount (enough to open a business), but we do not know if he was given his full wages. It sure is amazing though! And 3.) he named bouquets of flowers after Harry songs! He has “Adore You”, “Golden”, “Canyon Moon”, and “Ever Since New York”, but not, shockingly enough, “Sunflower Vol 6” - COME ON! It’s RIGHT THERE! Anyways, I adore Harry and I want everyone to know that - he does always do his best to be kind. 

Liam has a new COVER out, and one of my favorite songs: “Waiting on the World to Change” by John Mayer! The cover is for UNICEF Changemaker, and Liam says that he’s “proud to support them in any way I can”. Okay I’m a NERD so I’m about to rant about how this was the PERFECT song for Liam. The first is his RANGE: he gave the song a really gravelly, soulful sound that it deserves, and his falsettos are SO GOOD that he hits the high notes EASILY. The second are the LYRICS of the song! Literally: “It's hard to beat the system when we're standing at a distance” and “and when you trust your television, what you get is what you got; ‘cause when they own the information, they can bend it all they want”. UGH CHILLS! But that was NOT ALL for Liam, who made a guest appearance on Abby Robert’s YouTube channel in a cook off competition! They made roasted potatoes and Yule Logs (weird combo but okay), and chatted about Christmas traditions a bit. Liam said that he actually DOES do quite a bit of cooking on Christmas because he liked to watch the “tea” go down but not be a part of it (Liam do you read this blog? Was that a hint??). Anyways, he also said that he spends every Christmas with his son, because “Christmas is about kids” (Abby Roberts did a HARD eye roll it was very funny), he put out a fire (firefighter!Liam), and he dropped a boiled potato and lots of powdered sugar. Liam won for his potatoes and Abby won for the Yule Log, and *I* got really hungry. “Don’t set your kitchens on fire,” Liam warns cheerily at the end of the video. Yeahhhh, thanks for that! And now for Liam’s short but lovely content: his alarm this morning said, “It’s that Friday feeling” and then he and Roman talked about their holiday plans - Liam with his fam, Roman with his booze and Karaoke (“I’ll be doing strip that down in front of my mum”. Yeah, cuz that’s not weird at all), and they FINALLY released their bedtime story - It’s twenty minutes long and it’s called “Bedtime Bromance” (can’t wait to hear it!). He also posted an Instagram story of himself in a recording studio in Stockholm singing “Last First Kiss”. “Back to Where it All Started,” the caption read. :{) 

And now for Niall and Louis, both of whom are taking up some social issues! Sam Fender (who got into a bit of hot water yesterday for, uh, a joke about Louis’ fans and our key smashing tendencies alkdjfladj) called on the UK-based “Tomlinators” (lmao no <3) to sign a petition which requires local governments to have free helplines for the homeless and vulnerable. And, of course, fans got right on that and helped Sam reach his goal! Oh, wait, no, that DIDN’T happen - instead, fans jumped down his throat for, uh, clout chasing?? And they told him that he couldn’t get away with mocking us and expect us to HELP him!! YEAH GUYS! How DARE he try to use his influence to make a difference?? Anyways, Louis was clearly super mad, you could tell by how he liked the tweet, retweeted the petition, and then said, “Very important cause. If you’re a UK resident please sign!”. As of right now, the petition sits at 10,000 out of 100,000 signatures needed, so. Let’s get it done! Niall is also going to do some community work: he will be at Comhairle Na Nog’s meeting ( it’s an Irish child and youth councils in Ireland) on Saturday giving a shout out to the kids who have been working on projects and in their community despite lockdown. Awww, best of luck to both of them in their very worthy causes.

[k-n-e-o]

Stray kids reaction to their relationship getting leaked

Requested? Yep! By this lovely anon <3

Genre: fluff(?), not really angst, just a couple annoyed members lol 

Warnings: None

A|n: I’ve been so inactive but there’s been a lot happening recently. Also My hands are reacting to something and they’re blistering and really hurting. But it’s not as bad as it used to be so that’s good. 

I added the keep reading because i realize that some of these with more than five members gets kind of long

Anyways I hope this is okay anon. 

____________

Chan

Surprised 

Saw fans asking about it in the comments on one of his chan’s room lives. 

As soon as he ended the live he’d search it up and see how people found out about it because he made sure that you were very careful 

Next, he would call you to let you know, if you didn’t know already. 

He’d be very calm about it though

Talking with jyp about what they should do and stuff

I don’t think too much would change though tbh

“Hey babe, have you looked on twitter recently?”

------

Minho

Hyunjin came back to the dorm after he finished his vlive and nervously went to go find Minho 

During Hyunjin’s vlive he was talking about the amusing things that happened when he went to go eat food with you and Minho. 

And Hyunjin just got so immersed in his own storytelling that he forgot to leave out the part that you were with them and stays are smart so they connected the dots. 

When Minho found out from Hyunjin, he honestly didn’t care but just because he found it amusing he glared at Hyunjin, watching him flinch. 

I think he would kind of be happy that your relationship was leaked though because he loves when fans ask him how you and his cats are doing, loving that people want to know about you too (Also just because he loves talking about you cause he loves you)

“Y|n and the cats? They’re doing great! Actually just yesterday… *And he would continue on*”

------

Changbin

It would be a new stylist that would leak a picture of the two of you on twitter 

Chan would be the one to see it and show changbin and when changbin found out he would be really mad. 

The members would have to calm him down before he goes and yells at the stylist. 

Would become more protective over you and has to really struggle to not be annoyed by people saying mean things about you. (might even obsess over it because he knows none of it is true because none of the haters really know you)  

I think he would still like to keep quiet about your relationship despite people knowing about it unlike Minho who openly talks about you in lives

“Chan look, this isn’t true at all”

------

Hyunjin

Probably would post a mirror selfie of his hair that day, saying that he had it curled just for fun. But stays have eagle eyes and they spotted you in the background with the curling iron in your hand. 

Honestly for a while hyunjin could get away with saying that you were just a stylist he asked to curl his hair for him, but then he would see how disappointed some fans were or how suspicious they were of his excuse that he would just post another picture a few days later this time of you actually doing his hair with the caption “my stylist s|o” or something (I suck at writing captions sorry lol) 

This man would not be afraid to talk about you like Minho probably calls you during lives sometimes too. 

“My s|o did a good job huh”

------

Jisung

It would be at an interview or when they were on a radio show. 

And he would just blurt something out about you, while they were talking about what they did in their free time or something 

All the members would just look at him and for a moment he’d be really confused until he played back what he said in his head and he’d be really mad at himself (he thought he said it in his head not out loud lol) 

Jisung would come back to the dorm and see you sitting on the couch, waiting for them to get back, and he would collapse beside you and tell you about what happened. 

Nothing would change much either except sometimes he just randomly says something a video like “ oh! Y|n would love this!” or being open about one of his songs being about you (or for you) 

“Baby, guess what I did today…” 

------

Felix

It was completely accidental. 

Felix forgot to tell you that he and seungmin were doing another cooking live one night and you stopped by the dorm and called out to him (saying something along the line of “Felix? babe?” ) 

Seungmin and Felix looked to each other before looking at the camera, hoping that you weren’t audible 

But unfortunately, you were

The fans were freaking out in the comments. 

Felix was worried that this would ruin the group image or put more stress on them. 

But once things cooled down he wouldn’t be too worried about slipping up about your relationship anymore. 

Less nervous about having you behind the camera during a vlive or even having you pop in the room or something

“Stays don’t worry about it, that was just the ghost in our house” 

------

Seungmin

You and seungmin were together in the background of a selfie Han took while the group was out for dinner. 

And without knowing about the background he posted it and low and behold, your relationship hit the news. 

Seungmin wouldn’t talk to Han for a little while because he’d be quite annoyed with him. 

But eventually, he cooled down and talked to Han about it. 

Chooses to still be quite private about your relationship despite people knowing about it now. 

He just prefers to keep what’s private, private you know? 

But he won’t turn down a nice question or two about you guys during an interview or something. 

“Han you need to be careful with what you post” 

(Sorry his quote thingy is really bad) 

------

Jeongin

Really confused on how it happened

Might even be a bit nervous for you cause he knows that there is always someone who doesn’t approve and will send hate. 

None of the members even knew how your relationship was leaked especially since you and I.n would be the most careful out of everybody. 

Like seungmin, in the fact that he decides to still keep your relationship kind of private but maybe not as much. 

Will answer almost any question about you especially if there’s a funny story he can tell, but won’t talk about you unprovoked as much as some of the others would. 

OH! I’m adding this in at the last minute but I.n would so show fans stupid pictures of you or of something you did, finding them really funny and/or cute.

“Look at what Y|n did!” 

_______________

I hope you enjoyed 💙

[ignooy-nim]

STRAY KIDS EXTRA MEMBER (AU) / JAE-LYNN m.list

-> Jae-Lynn and Jeongin’s relationship “Babie²”

Popularity: ●●●●○

Contact Names:

Jeongin -> innie (pain in my ass #2) 💔

Jae -> jae-lynn hyung 🙃

─────────────────────

to jae-lynn, jeongin is both an angel and the devil combined.

he can be super sweet to her and make her laugh,

but on the other hand, he torments her ruthlessly.

it’s all out of love though <3

when they first met, jeongin was pretty confused as to why she was being added to the group, and was a little nervous because he thought that the addition would hurt their chances of debuting

he brushed it off though, once they got to know each other, and liked how sassy she could be, so he then declared that they were friends.

sometimes, he thinks she can be a bit much, but he still appreciates her.

resting bitch face besties

thinks it’s funny when she gets mad at him, which results in her no longer being mad.

like he does with the other members, jeongin teases her greatly and finds fun in calling her any name BUT ‘jae-lynn’

"stupid", "marshmallow", "girl", "the thing",,, the list goes on

there's a run-on joke that started when jeongin accidentally called jae-lynn 'hyung', but now he sometimes calls her it unironically.

like her relationship with seungmin, jae’s relationship with jeongin is based around their outings with each other.

mostly jae likes to take jeongin to dog parks or to cat cafes, or just anything involved with animals.

but if they are at home, she LOVES to cook meals for him, because he's her BABIE.

since the meals she usually cooks are typically spicy, she makes sure to make them more mild for jeongin.

he felt a little indifferent when it was sorted that jae would be living in the same room with him and jisung. it was like he faced the five stages of grief during the time they’ve been living together.

first he denied it, then he was a little angry because jae made them watch ‘hell’s kitchen’ with her. then he attempted to make deals with her, that if she left him alone for a certain amount of hours, he’d let her sit with him on his bed to watch whatever show she wanted. THEN the depression hit, watching jae’s favorite shows and seeing her reorganize her closet two times a week bc it didn’t ‘feel right’ anymore, can weigh on a boy. but recently, he’s been more accepting of the fact that jae isn’t going anywhere, and it would be for the better if he just gave in and enjoy her presence. 

(sometimes jae puts one of her stuffed animals on jeongin’s bed if she senses that he had a bad day) (which he makes fun of her for) (but he secretly like it)

jeongin doesn’t actively ask jae-lynn for advice, but if she were to accidentally pick up on his subliminal hints to her that he needs it, he will listen to anything she has to say.

he feels like she lives a little too wild sometimes, so he tends to the whole “I didn’t raise you to be this kind of girl, jae-lynn” talk. but at the end of the day he still finds her crazy side very entertaining.

when jae-lynn first got close with Jeongin, she babied him quite a lot, and he didn't mind at all. but now that he’s getting older, she is learning to treat him more like the other guys, out of respect for him.

jeongin feels thankful that she doesn’t baby him as much, but at the same time, if she wanted to spoon feed him for the rest of his life, he’d probably let it happen.

he is very cautious around her, afraid to touch her most of the time. he wants to be respectful of her, and he also doesn't want to open the door to jae-lynn’s affection because once that door is open, you can never close that door again.

he is very stubborn towards her, but is also very mindful. if he sees she is going through a rough time, he will usually give her a helping hand, but once she is better, he will go right back to his antics.

very competitive when they play video games.

on long car rides, catch these two either pushing each other out the car window, or singing trot music. NO, there is no in-between,

overall, a fun relationship, but it ages jae-lynn ten years every time she hangs out with jeongin. but at the end of the day, she still loves her BABIEEE

─────────────────────

[filmmakerdreamst]

‘Boy Meets World’ Re-watch (as an Adult)

‘Girl Meets World’ doesn’t count as a sequel. Not because of the writing/tonal choices but because in the original show - despite continuity issues - the characters felt like real people e.g. the way they spoke/acted/dressed was the way people behaved in the 90s where as in the spin off, they were Disney characters e.g. hyper versions of themselves especially Cory and Eric. And the transition between both shows didn’t come naturally. It’s not an objectivity badly written show but it was pretty much a re-do of the old show with the same storylines/tropes without continuing the story. (I say the same thing about ‘The Incredibles’. vs ‘Incredibles 2’.) Also there were too many cooks in the kitchen pushing one way or another. You could see Micheal Jacobs style, all the aspects were there, but he was also creating a ‘DISNEY’ show at the same time. I don’t know about you but the one message I took from the original show was ‘finding out that life cannot be packenged into a lovely little present ’ which kind of contradicts everything that the new show is. If anything GMW is an AU universe (and it really felt like that, rewatching it right after BMW e.g. it felt flipped) almost like Disney’s version of ‘what happened next?’ The primal difference between both shows is BMW is portraying what is real and GMW is based on what is real.

Going off my point, I will however be always thankful that it exists because I probably wouldn’t of found out about ‘Boy Meets World’ otherwise. Although saying that, I never thought that the original show needed a continuation of any kind (a lot of things make sense about the spin off if you acknowledge that Disney requested it - I think it would of been much better off on its original platform) ‘Boy Meets World’ was very much a product of its time i.e. when tv shows were still relevetivley new and had no rules - like there is stuff in there that not even adult shows today have. Plus there was something about it that felt very personal (such as the characters and setting) as if the creator based it on his own childhood growing up and I think that was part of its charm and why it had such a big effect on pop culture - I’m not so sure you can repeat that.

BMW is big on meta I’ll tell you that. I love how it’s so aware of itself. The amount of depth that it has never ceases to amaze me. It’s whole universe is so dense and huge. Every quote/storyline is so unique it sticks in your brain forever. (I swear the humour got more and more deranged every season). The show was also incredibly queer and progressive.  It didn’t give a crap about sexuality. Much more than I remember. Proof to never use ‘but it was made in the 90s’ excuse.        

I loved how the show kept reinventing itself every season as Cory grew up so you really felt you were growing up with him and all the characters. The Character Development on this show was so natural/authentic. Every single character got a chance to shine. No one changed their look in one episode and no one had an intervention every time someone had an identity crisis (GMW) My favourite development was Shawn Hunter. He went from a cool kid to a ladies man to a poetic soul. It was so satisfying to watch.

I realised that Cory Matthews is actually my favourite character (before it was Eric or Shawn) I already have a special soft spot for ‘annoying’ characters because they tend to be the most memorable/real. For example, Karma Ashcroft from ‘Faking it’ was my babe while everyone was hating on her. I really related to his anxiety/self hatred about being average and I loved that he constantly made mistakes. It was very refreshing. He’s also incredibly queer-coded. I found that alot of his mannerisms make sense if you see him with extreme compulsory heterosexuality (because identity’s such as bisexual or gay couldn’t exist normally in the 90s) There are moments in the show where he literally mimics his best friend’s behaviour around girls e.g. when the class pretty much gets brainwashed by the sex ed video in ‘Boy Meets Girl’ Shawn gets asked out by a girl, making Cory jealous - which pushes him to ask out Topanga.

It’s funny how a few years of life experience can change perspectives completely because when I was sixteen (aka the same age as Cory and Topanga) watching BMW for the first time, I was mad at Amy for ‘not understanding that they were in love’ (in ‘A Walk to Pittsburg’) but now that I’m older I’m actually agreeing with her. Yeah, what do they know about love? Because all season long they were acting quite superficially.

Cory and Topanga became somewhat of a toxic couple in seasons 5 -7. Reminded me of my parents relationship because my mum gave up her chosen university to be closer to my dad and they aren’t together any more. Topanga’s love for Cory was very conditional and Cory cheated on her multiple times/openly begged for sex  (Again like my parents) And you should never be in a relationship with someone who makes you say “You make me think not so very much of myself” There are arguably much more signs of emotional abuse than love in their relationship especially from Topanga’s side. Plus their story was altered so many times to give it more basis (they retconned Shawn and Cory’s friendship to do this) I could write an essay on how Kevin and Winnie’s love story on ‘The Wonder Years’ is much more believable because it actually addresses how toxic it was and they grow apart in the end. If GMW was a realistic continuation, they would be divorced with a little girl - leave them in the 90s where they belong.

Alan and Amy were couple goals! Cory and Topanga wish that they could have what they have. Literally the definition of ‘a healthy relationship on tv that keeps thriving and over coming obstacles without big drama’. Best TV parents ever.

I loved the Matthews family; how they all had individual arcs and developments of their own. One of my favourite arcs was in season 5, when Eric and Cory were both jealous of what they ‘didn’t have’ with their dad, so Alan made an effort to give them both that they needed. Honestly, I had never seen so much healthy communication on TV before. Alan is the best father around. His whole personal arc of giving up managing a supermarket because he wasn’t passsionate about it anymore and buying a mountain store was so inspired. I found it funny that the family had more of a relationship with Shawn than Topanga.

Shawn Hunter never caught a break. It got a bit tiring. He was never allowed to be happy for five minutes. Every time he laughed or smiled, 5 years were added onto my lifespan. Why didn’t Johnathan Turner adopt him? I loved their dynamic. Why did he let him go back to his abusive father who just dumped him anyway?

Jack and Shawn’s complicated dynamic was possibly the most unique/interesting arc of the entire show and no one talks about it. I don’t care what y’all say - despite them being very different, Jack was the only one who fully took care of Shawn without second thoughts (Turner and the Matthews family had doubts)

I liked Shawn and Angela. I thought they were much better suited than Cory and Topanga. I honestly wouldn’t of minded if they ended up together even though I always had a feeling they wouldn’t. (Like I’m glad she went with her dad in the end) And considering how important they were as a interracial couple in the 90s, GMW handled that very poorly.

Shawn and Cory should of ended up together. And before you come at me with ‘it’s important to have m/m friendships without toxic masculinity’ (which is an important arguement to have) - yeah no shit there’s an entire Industry based around that/pitting women against each other. While it is important to have those friendships between men that are close and even intimate (take Chandler and Joey, Schmidt and Nick, Isak and Jonas and Jake and Charles for example) there was also another layer to their relationship which the narrative played off sometimes as them “going out” or “in love”.  I actually recently found out that a writer - who came into the show in season 3 - confirmed that she wrote gay undertones into their relationship on purpose ‘In my opinion as a writer, they thought they were “straight”, they both didn’t realise or understand their feelings for eachother’ but couldn’t deliever because the producers wanted to keep the show “kid friendly”. Kind of like Xena and Gabby. I know people prefer Jack & Eric (I love them as well) but everything got ruined for me as soon as they introduced the ‘love triangle’ and I always tend to prefer emotional tension over sexual. They were just so unconditional with each other/ their friendship was so good and healthy and now I’m so bitter that it never happened.

I never understood why Shawn and Cory had to stop being best friends after he got married. He’s not Topanga’s property. I always hated how Topanga tried to interrupt/interfere with their dynamic — although now I realise it was because the two of them purposely left her out. Looking back at it, If it really was just a intimate friendship then why would she get so easily jealous if she didn’t sense there was something else deeper going on? You should never marry someone who puts you second.

I didn’t like Topanga when she was with Cory (or vice versa) Especially after they got married. She was a great character on her own. Feminist before her time. Hermione Granger before her time. I always felt she deserved a lot better than him in a way e.g. if someone I considered a friend speard a rumour around high school that we slept together - I would never speak to that person again. SHE SHOULD OF GONE TO YALE GOD DAMN IT. And as someone pointed out the other day, if the roles were reversed some of the stuff she does or says to Cory would be considered domestic violence. ‘She’s always blaming Cory on shit that isn't even his fault or makes him feel bad or shuts down his emotions and turns it around so he's comforting her instead.’ There was even a moment in GMW (not that I consider that show a continuation) where she locks him out the house for a few days after he insulted her chicken, and his son Auggie had to bring him spaghetti. If Cory was a woman, that would not be played off as a joke - that would be considered abuse. They were however a better couple in GMW ironically.

Angela Moore is now one of my favourite characters on BMW. She was beautiful. Her friendship with Rachel (and Topanga) was the best. And I frickin’ loved her and Cory’s friendship development - when they could of easily not played into that. I hate that she got villiaized in GMW.

My favourite seasons are 4, 5 & 1. My least favourites are 3 & 2 & 7. And even then the show was still pretty darn good.

The back and fourth clash between Turner and Mr Feeny in season 2 was very entertaining.

Mr Feeny and Eric are my favourite relationship on ‘Boy Meets World’. I love how Eric was the only person that Feeny directly told that he loved him. Also, why didn’t Eric become the new Mr Feeny? He showed more traits of becoming a teacher in the show than Cory did.

Eric and Tommy was probably the most heartbreaking plot line in season 6. (That season was an emotional train wreck) I cried for a fourth time. The world doesn’t deserve him.

I loved the development of Shawn and Topanga’s friendship. Even though there was a silent competition over Cory, they eventually became good friends. I found out that the song ‘She will be loved’ was inspired by them which is awesome but it’s also proof that people ship for less if it’s an m/f dynamic - just sayin’. I however see a more convincing potiental romance with the two of them than Cory and Topanga sometimes.

On Cory and Topanga again - they weren’t a bad couple overall. I liked them in s1 - 3. They had some great moments. But upon my rewatch (getting out of that 90s idealised headspace) I found them to be too similar at times - chafing as another person put it - to the point where they cancel each other out. A lot of people pointed out that Riley and Maya paralleled them and I was thinking “That’s not nesserily a good thing.”

‘Dream. Try. Do good.’ is on my mantelpiece.

[clumsyracconking]

a villain

Ch.11 (1105 words)

Damn, 3am me when I was writing this really just said fuck the ship, well whatever happens happens I guess, imagine Dabi sitting there listening to Hatef--k by The Bravery while he’s thinking about Hawks. On a side note I suddenly realize the monster that I call a fanfic I’ve created.

Tags: @rachi-roo-bnha @imacowboy3 @magical-girl-04

Dabi had nothing to do other than sit with his thoughts, he was wishing he hadn’t kicked Hawks out because at least Hawks could fill the space a bit, or they could fuck, either way, when it was just Dabi the place felt empty and lonely. 

“Knock knock bitch.” Shoto said barging into Dabi’s apartment without having actually knocked, he was covered in soot, “I’m using your shower because Toga’s works weird.” 

“I- yeah ok go for it kid.” Dabi wasn’t going to tell Shoto that all of the showers in the building worked weird, he’d figure it out at some point. He did wonder why his brother was covered in soot but that was explained when he got a text with a video file from Hawks. “I know you don’t want to talk to me but figured you might want to see this.” And God Hawks was right, he did want to see that it was kind of awesome.

--

“Hey Shig I need to talk to you and tell you about something.” Hawks was down at the bar for the first time in a while.

“The fuck do you want kfc.” Shigaraki knew about his new recruit who had recently been offed and was pissed but would still hear the bird out.

“I want to start working for you again, this whole solo thing isn’t working out. I want to wreak some more havoc and the most effective way to do that is to join you.” Hawks had a very matter of fact tone when he spoke knowing Shigaraki rather that than a ‘clueless NPC’ in his words.

“You and patchwork are having issues aren't you.” Shigaraki said he didn't ask because he knew they were. He motioned to Kurogiri to pass them some glasses and booze, they were in for a long night.

--

In the end Hawks and Shigaraki ended up getting hammered and playing video games. The next morning the two were found leaning on each other, controllers in their laps.

“Oh my fuck.” Toga gasped seeing Hawks and Shigaraki, she had to take a picture of this and that’s exactly what she did and then went to show Shoto it’s not like he would really get it but she couldn't exactly show Dabi, she knew something was up with them.

“Young Hawks I advise you to move before he wakes up.” Kurogiri said tapping Hawks on the shoulder in efforts of waking him up, spoiler alert it didn’t work. Kurogiri even went to check his pulse to be sure Hawks wasn’t dead. He wasn't, just really tired. So the misty man gave up, he’d separate them if it got bad.

Shigaraki woke up first, feeling the added weight of Hawks on his side. “You smell like stale cigarettes kfc, you know that right.”

“I’m aware, exquisite observation.” He deadpanned not opening his eyes, if Shigaraki was going to kill him he would've done it already so he wasn't worried.

“Very well.” Shigaraki said putting a gloved hand on Hawks’ head, contrary to popular belief the two didn’t hate each other's company.

“So did we ever actually get to the question you asked me or did we just drink and game?”

“We drank an’ gamed most of the night I think, I gotta say I have missed having a challenge when I game though. Dabi is shit and Toga doesn't really get the controls.” Hawks said eyes still closed and pushing into the hand that was resting on his head.

“What about the youngest Todoroki kid? How's he play?” Shigaraki asked with a grin on his face.

“Oh you mother fucker, you knew?” Hawks’ eyes shot open, when he spoke he left it vague so Shigaraki could fill in what he knew there were a lot of Todoroki secrets that he could know.

“That you’ve been harboring the youngest and that Dabi is the oldest, yeah I knew it’s really not that hard to figure out, plus that time you all got really high the youngest came down and grabbed like two bottles from Giri, he’s still pissed about that by the way.” Shigaraki was just playing with Hawks’ hair at this point and speaking in a calm tone which is something he only ever did around Hawks and once or twice around Toga when she didn’t feel well and he only did that because he knew no one would believe her.

“Damn, well technically I wasn’t harboring him just somewhat housing him. Yeah no, don’t even tell me that sounds like bullshit I already know.”

“As long as you know kfc. We should get up at the very least move though.”

“You right, you right but I wish you weren't because I’m comfy.”

--

“So why'd you get upset with Hawks yesterday? And why did you say it was a conversation for us to have later?” Shoto really didn’t understand beating around the brush or small talk, he and Dabi were sitting around because he didn't like being alone and Toga had gone out, Hawks was nowhere to be found so he settled for Dabi.

“Fucking christ, I don’t know how to say this.” Dabi found it frustrating when he couldn't articulate his thoughts and now really wasn't the time.

“That seems like a you problem bro.”

“God the last person who called me bro was Natsu. Well damn guess that works too.” Dabi hadn’t meant to say it like that, kind of anticlimactic really.

“Did I just hear you right?” 

“Yeah Sho you did. It’s me, I'm Touya but emo.” Dabi added the last bit in attempts to lighten the mood a bit, it wasn't effective.

“Oh you mother fucker, God Fuyumi would fucking kill you, hell I want to kill you.” Shoto wasn’t mad but he wasn’t happy, more irritated and sad really. After a few moments of silence Shoto spoke again, “I remember that night you know, watching you leave. You said you’d be back soon and that it was our secret. All hell broke loose in the morning, Natsuo and Fuyumi were in hysterics for hours, Natsuo was never the same and Fuyumi basically became a mum for all of us, even cooking for father.” Dabi knew all of this, he hadn’t truly left, he still came by often, he just stuck to the shadows and the roofs so no one would know.

“I’m gonna go for a bit, I need a second.” Shoto murmured to himself and got up with his hand on the door. He looked back at his older brother, “I’m glad to have you back.” Before walking out and going to sit alone wishing he’d chosen to do that in the first place.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #359

“i’m only a crack in this castle of glass  /  hardly anything there for you to see”

Do you look better with your hair down or up? It's too short to go up. Has you mom ever directly told you that she favoured your other sibling(s) over you? Yeesh, no. Have you ever read The Outsiders? Seen the movie? Read the book, seen the movie. Adore both. What’s your favourite drink from Jamba Juice? I don't think we have those here. Can you stand eating the crusts of a slice of sandwich bread? I don't mind the crust at all. Do you do your homework at home or in class? Prior to college, I did my work right after getting home to get it out of the way. In college, I did it in-between classes or when waiting for Mom to finish class. Do you feel uncomfortable sharing drinks with other people? Yes, I never do it. Do you get jealous if your boyfriend hugs another girl? I'm single, but hypothetically, I wouldn't... It's just a hug. At least for me, it's just a friendly gesture. Is there something that happened in your past you hate talking about? A few things, yes. Is it hard for you to be “just friends” with the opposite sex? Nah. If you had to choose, what color is your favorite? Baby pink. How many times have you dated the person you’re with now? I’m single. Has anyone suspected you of being a different sexuality? Yes. Do you like chocolate or vanilla cake more? Chocolate. Does it bother you to have blood drawn or not so much? Nah. What color is your toothbrush? It's a white electric one. Do you normally fall asleep fast or slow? Ridiculously slow. Have you ever had a severe allergic reaction? No. What do you want to be for Halloween this year? I'd love to dress up as like a Ms. Oogie Boogie and take some cool pictures, but I highly doubt it'll actually happen. What color are your glasses, if applicable? Black. Do you still look in the toy aisle, or do you pass it by? I walk past it. What are your summer fashion essentials? I don't have fashion essentials for any season. Do you have your own website? For my photography, yeah. Do you think you would be a good salesperson? Ha, no. I worked in retail before and I fucking sucked. Do you like candy corn? NO. Just colored wax, ugh. Do you like to wear skirts? I don't wear anything that shows my legs. Were you happy as a kid? Yeah. That, talkative, and hyper. Favorite store to browse but not really buy anything? Haha, I LOVE going on MorphMarket now and again to browse the ball pythons especially, but boy if I had the cash and space would I buy like fifty of them at once. I don't really know about a store I like browsing but not buying from. Skittles or Sour Patch Kids? Both are great, but I guess Sour Patch Kids. BUT, if you throw SOUR Skittles in there... then it's a war lol. If tattoos were free, how many would you have? A HELL OF A LOT. I wanna be just about totally painted. Do you wear a retainer at night? Not anymore. I had one, but I stopped using it. Are you afraid of dolls, puppets, or clowns? I'm not a doll person, particularly porcelain ones. When you’re in your room, do you keep the door locked? No. It's not even closed. Do you think your face is mostly symmetrical? Actually no, and I'm self-conscious about it. Stupidest thing you have ever said out loud? OH Christ, I'm not retrospecting on this. What’s your least favourite ice-cream flavour? That I've actually tried, strawberry. It's disgusting. What was the last good news you heard? I got approved for TMS therapy! Who was the last person to comment on your Facebook status? My friend Lyndsey. How did you meet him/her? World of Warcraft. She's actually my guild master, and she is the sweetest damn person. Have you ever learned any self-defense? If not, would you be interested in learning? I haven't, but yeah, I'd like to. When was the last time you took a nap? How long was it? Yesterday. For some reason, I actually slept a LONG time, like at least three, but probably close to four, hours. I mean I was tired, but I didn't feel THAT tired. Do you like Gushers? YAAAAAAAAAAS What would you do if you could do anything without failing? Actually get a degree for SOMETHING. What is your native language? English. Do you have a younger brother or sister? A younger sister. If so do/did they really get on your nerves? No. We were very close as kids, but we've drifted apart. Now, she absolutely doesn't get on my nerves. I'm so proud of her. Name something that happened to you that was completely unexpected. Uhhh I dunno. Do you judge people that have multiple piercings? Lol wtf? No. Do you watch the Olympics? No. What did you have for breakfast this morning? I had Kix cereal. Do you like orange juice? Yes. So long as it doesn't have pulp in it. Do you think it’s cruel to keep an animal in a cage while you’re away? It depends on the size of the cage as well as how long you're away. Do you have a pet gecko? No, but I'd love a fat-tailed gecko. Are you scared of reptiles? Not at all, I adore them. Is your car messy? I don't have my own car. Mom's kinda is, though. It needs a wash badly, but because of her bumper literally being zip-tied on, she doesn't trust going into a car wash. And neither of us are about to do it manually, lol. Have you ever seen the show 16 and Pregnant? No, fuck that show. Do you buy expensive clothes? No. Does death scare you? Not really. What are your current goals? Conquer my social anxiety, get a job, lose weight, do something to strengthen my legs... Those are the four biggies. Do you clap or cheer when at a concert? I did both at the one I've been to. Do you drink coffee? What brand? No. Do you use a comb or brush? A comb. When you were younger, did you ever do that exclamation point that looked like an upside down triangle and had a really big dot? No. I loved the cutesy girl handwriting though, haha. I just could never do it. You’re locked in a room with the person you last dated, any problems? Well yeah, we're locked in a room lmao. What kind of relationship do you have with the last person you kissed? It's perfectly fine, we're best friends. Have you ever gotten burnt by a cigarette? No. Do you get mad when people smoke around you? Yes. Honestly, have you ever eaten raw cookie dough? Yeah, more than once. When was the last time you were on a city bus? Never. Do you have a garden? Does it have flowers, vegetables, or both? No. Where do you want to raise your kids? Who said I even want kids? Have you ever been to Cracker Barrel? Yessssss, good shit. Have you ever seen a ghost? I think I have. Have you ever burned an ant with a magnifying glass? No. Have you ever been to craigslist.com? Yes. Have you ever used Nair? Yes, on my legs. It works, I just have stupidly hairy legs that need so much to get it all. How many tabs do you have open and what are they? Two YouTube tabs and then Tumblr. What browser do you prefer to use? Chrome. What room are you in right now? My bedroom. Are you excited for anything this month? 1.) I get my tattoo on the 19th, and 2.) I start TMS next Wednesday. What language course did you take in school, if any? I barely survived one semester of Latin, then I did all four available German courses. What language would you most like to learn? I'd love to improve my German. What would you like to get a degree in? Photography. What book are you reading, what genre is it and do you like it so far? Wings of Fire: The Brightest Night. It's young adult fantasy, I think. Did you ever sometimes flip through your text books even when you didn’t need to? Yeah, mainly to just look at pictures because I was that bored in class, haha. What types of magazines do you read? None. Would you prefer to read a book, watch a movie or TV show, or play a video game? Play a video game. What’s your current relationship like with the person you lost your virginity to and do you wish it was different? We don't have any relationship anymore. I don't regret losing it to him, if that's what you're asking. If you mean our relationship stance, it'd be nice to still be in touch with him, but I know it wouldn't be healthy for me. Have you ever felt responsible for someone’s death? Pets, yes. No humans. What was the last book you recommended to someone? Idk. What’s the most difficult thing you and your current or last significant other have gone through? Distance was very hard. What’s your best memory with your ex? I'm going to assume this refers to "the ex." In which case, we were "play arguing," and I came storming into the kitchen after him to make a point, and I slid mid-sentence, and he caught me. We just held each other laughing our asses off. It's the simple things, man. Who was the last person that asked to hang out with you and what’s the story of how you met that person? Summer. My little sister and her were in pre-k together and became friends, but I gradually became closer to her than Nicole did when we were teens. Has anyone ever asked you out and you turned them down? Yes. Is there something you generally always ask for help with? Yeah. Like recently I've been having apples and peanut butter a lot, and I ask my mom to cut the apple because I'm terrified of knives. Do you feel comfortable telling people how much you weigh? NOPE. Have you looked at any old photos of yourself lately? No. In a relationship, have you ever been on and off with your partner? No. Do you consider cooking to be an art? Yes. Are you a fast or slow reader? I'd say I read at a moderate pace. Does it take a lot to gross you out? It depends on what it is, but I am actually more squeamish than I used to be.

[embeanwrites]

Finding Home Gavin Reed x Reader

Chapter 14

Masterlist

Gavin pulled in next to my dad’s car and I jumped out.

“I’ll see you Monday.”

“See ya Monday, pipsqueak.” I rolled my eyes.

“Will I ever be able to convince you to ditch that nickname?”

“I don’t know. Are you planning on growing taller anytime soon?”

“Oh, fuck off.” I said with a laugh as I leaned over to kiss his cheek. I got out of his car and shut the car door. Sumo immediately started barking and Connor opened the front door. Sumo bounded for me and jumped on my legs, laughing I started petting him. I turned around to see Gavin still in his car, he gave Connor a small nod and backed out of the driveway.

“I thought yesterday didn’t work out?” Connor asked, tilting his head. I walked towards the house and he followed.

“Yeah yesterday wasn’t great, but I figured some stuff out that explained why it went south.” Connor closed the door behind us.

“What went south?” My dad asked from the couch. He was drinking a soda, which surprised me, and watching the Gears game.  

“I got tricked into a date yesterday.” I walked into the kitchen and jumped up on the counter. Connor followed me into the kitchen, and he started getting food out of the fridge.

“Who tricked you?”

“Yeah, Connor. Who tricked me?” My dad turned away from the tv and glared at Connor. His LED flashed yellow.

“It was Nines’ idea.” My dad groaned and I laughed. Realizing I wasn’t mad and was just teasing him, his LED turned back to blue.

“Who was the guy?” My dad asked cautiously. He turned off the tv and moved to sit at the kitchen table.

“Gavin.” I answered. My dad choked on his drink and started coughing.

“I’m sorry, Gavin as in Gavin Reed? The asshole we work with?”

“The very same.” I jumped off the counter and grabbed a soda from the fridge. I joined my dad at the table. “The date was actually really nice until the end.” My dad grunted and took another drink.

“Did you spend the night with him? Is that why he dropped you off?” Connor asked, now both me and my dad were choking on our drinks.

“Jesus Christ, Connor!” My dad said, his face turning red. “I don’t want to know the answer to that, why the fuck do you?” Before Connor could answer I stepped in.

“I didn’t spend the night with him, not that it’s really anyone's business. Connor, do you want help cooking dinner?”

“If you’d like to help, I wouldn’t be against it. I recently watched a video on how to make chicken parmesan and I want to try to make it.” I got up and walked over to where he was standing in front of a bunch of ingredients.

“Can I play music?” Connor nodded. I got my phone out and hit shuffle. My dad groaned when he recognized the song.

“You still listen to songs before you were born?” My dad asked.

“Good music knows no age! They Might Be Giants kicks ass and I’ll fight anyone on that!” Out of my phone’s speaker “Birdhouse in Your Soul” started playing. I washed my hands and turned to Connor "Alright do you wanna be Linguine or Remy because I have the knowledge of Linguine but I really identify with rats." I joked, winking at Connor. He looked confused for a moment, his LED flashing yellow for a moment, before turning blue.

"Ah yes, Ratatouille, right? I watched that with Lieutenant Anderson a while ago." I grinned and turned to face my dad.

"Dad, you watch Disney movies?" He coughed and turned to hide his face from me.

"It was the only thing on T.V. stop smiling at me like that, it's creepy." He defended himself gruffly. I couldn't help the following laughing fit that lasted for a minute before my dad went from groaning, to muttering, to finally yelling "It isn't funny, will you just make the damn food please!" I smirked at Connor, who had chuckled a bit before we turned to the ingredients laid out before us while my dad hunkered back down on the couch, watching a University of Michigan football scrimmage game, in lieu of it not being basketball season for another few months.

40 minutes later the three of us were sitting at the table. My dad and I were shoveling dinner into our mouths.

“This is really good you two.” My dad said, finishing his plate and leaning back in his chair. I was still picking at my plate.

“Thank you.” Connor said while I nodded. “(Y/n), are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay.” Both my dad and Connor stared at me, clearly not believing me. I sighed. “This is my last week before classes start and I’m just getting worried, I guess. I know what I want to teach, but most of these kids lived in Detroit when the revolution happened.” I set my fork down. “I’m worried that I’m going to be under qualified to talk about these issues. Many were probably personally affected by what happened. It may become difficult for them to keep emotion out of discussion and be able to keep prejudice out of the class.” My dad nodded.

“But that’s why you’re there.” Connor stated confidently. “You’re going to teach them how to look at the issues in a different light. You are not under qualified.” I smiled at him

“Thank you, Connor”

“I’m only like halfway through your book and you know exactly what you’re doing, (Y/n).”

“Thank you, dad.” I sighed. “Oh! Before I forget I want us to take a picture together so I can put it in my office!” I got up and grabbed my phone off the counter. Connor followed me. “Connor, can you take the picture? Your arms are probably the longest and steadiest.”

“Okay.” I handed him my phone; my dad got up awkwardly.

“Let’s sit on the couch so Sumo can be in the picture too.” Connor said, walking away with my phone. We all followed him. The moment I sat down on the couch Sumo jumped up too.

“Sumo, you’re not supposed to be on the couch, you know that.” My dad said and Sumo whined.

“(Y/n) lets him on the couch.” Connor said.

“Connor! You tattle tale! Snitches get stitches you know!” I laughed and slapped his shoulder. Connor was to my right and my dad was trying to sit on my left, but Sumo was still blocking him. “Here, Sumo come here!” I patted my lap and grunted as the giant dog sat on my lap panting. “Connor, you take half of him please!” My dad started laughing, but Connor patted his leg and Sumo moved so he was laying on both of us. My dad sat down next to me. Quickly, I threw my arms around both of them and smiled. Connor took the picture.

“Will you send that to me (Y/n)?”

“Of course, dad!” I quickly texted it to both him and Connor.

“Will one of you show me how to make it my phone wallpaper.” I laughed and held out my hand for his phone. It took me less than 30 seconds to change his wallpaper, which made him groan about being too old.

“(Y/n), are you staying the night?” Connor asked while petting Sumo, still allowing him to lay on his lap.

“I can’t. I’m going with Tina tomorrow to help her pick out her suit for the wedding. I forgot to tell you guys! I’m her maid of honor!” My dad smiled.

“When you told us you were moving back, she didn’t stop talking about you for like a week. I’m surprised it took her this long to ask you!” I laughed at my dad’s statement.

“It had to be the right time and obviously over text when I was freaking out because it seemed like Nines was asking me out was THE perfect time!” My dad chuckled.

“Tina’s always sucked with timing. It took her six years to even propose to Valerie.”

“I love her regardless.”

“If you are her maid of honor are you throwing her a bachelorette party?” Connor asked.

“Probably not. I’ll have to ask her what she wants. Why? Do you wanna be invited, Connor?” I teased; his cheeks turned blue.

“No. I believe men go to a bachelor party.”

“That’s true, Connor. However, what do you do when it’s two brides?” My dad asked, enjoying a perfect chance to tease Connor.

“I am not very close to Valerie, so I suppose I would go to Tina’s. Although I’m not sure how comfortable I will feel.” I giggled.

“Connor, we’re just teasing you. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.” I sighed. “Do you guys want to watch a movie before I go?”

“That sounds good to me.” My dad said.

“Another Muppet movie, (Y/n)?” Connor asked.

“How about you pick, Connor? Is there any movie you’ve been wanting to see?” I asked, smiling at him. His LED flashed yellow.

“Chris mentioned to me last week that I absolutely have to watch ‘Into the Spider-Verse.’” I gasped and Connor’s LED flashed red. “(Y/n), are you okay?”

“Yes! I love that movie! We have to watch it!” I got up and started jumping up and down. Sumo followed me and ran around me barking, trying to figure out what I was doing. My dad started laughing.

“Alright, alright. We’re watching it, you can calm down!” I kept jumping and dancing, Connor looked shocked.

“You seem very excited, (Y/n).” I huffed and threw myself right back down on the couch.

“I just love that movie, Connor.” I smiled, settling down. “Let’s get watching!” I couldn’t believe how at home I felt around Connor and my dad already. I knew there were still problems between my dad and I, but sitting on the couch with them both I felt content.

[roguelioness]

quarantine questionnaire

Tagged by @idrelle-miocovani, thank you! ♥ (I’m sorry it took me a bit to get to doing this)

Tagging @kagetsukai @long-liv-prairies, @empresstress13 @elevanetheirin

Are you staying home from work or school?

Yes. I’m unemployed so I’ve been at home for a while. I’m quite used to being at home, but not having the option to freely go out when I get a bit stir crazy is... challenging. My SO is currently working from home, and has quite the case of cabin fever - we’ve been getting on each other’s nerves, but it’s nothing excessive, thank goodness. 

If you’re staying home, who’s with you?

My husband, and my dog Daisy.

Are you a homebody?

Very much so! I do wish that I’d gotten out more before all of this, because I’m getting quite antsy being pushed to stay home (I’m aware it’s for my safety, as well as the safety of those around me, but it still feels rather chafing).

An event that you were looking forward to that got cancelled.

My grandpa’s 99th birthday! I miss not seeing him. He’s hard of hearing so it sucks not being able to call and talk to him.

And given how things are going, it’s very likely that I won’t be able to celebrate my brother’s birthday with him, either.

What movies have you watched recently? What shows are you watching?

Hmm, I’m not really watching anything? I do watch a bunch of YouTube videos when I’m cooking or baking (which I seem to be doing quite a bit of lately!) but for the most part I’ve just been gaming.

I’ve been playing a LOT of Stardew Valley and Animal Crossing (my island in AC is called Atoll Tale and I’m so proud of that pun you don’t even know). They’ve very chill, zen games, and it’s definitely a way for me to destress over all the madness going on at the moment.

What music are you listening to?

This is going to sound weird, but I’ve been listening to a bunch of spanish songs for inspiration for a Zevran x Tabris story I have in mind. I don’t understand a single word, but they’re really good (and, most importantly, give me ideas!)

What are you doing for self care?

A lot of talking with family, either on the phone or over Skype. I play with Daisy, and take her for walks. Trying out new recipes. Pushing myself to stick to a routine (though it’s tempting to just do what I want when I want to, lol). Weirdly, I haven’t been writing as much, which... bums me out, but I’m trying not to dwell too much on it and be kind to myself.

[jeserai]

"Everyone thinks we’re already dating, but we’re just best friends- oh wait" because this is adora

38. Everyone thinks we’re already dating, but we’re just best friends- oh wait

aka 5 times they were gay and didnt realize it, and the one time they finally realized

Catra can’t stop staring at Adora’s hair. She’d cut it boyishly short as the summer heat wore on and now the golden strands just barely curl against the back of her neck. Freckles dot the skin of her shoulders and neck and Catra kind of wants to connect the dots with her finger to see what constellations they’ll make, kind of wants to kiss each one to count them all. Either way, she doesn’t move.

1—

It’s been a longer day than usual and Catra is quite honestly exhausted, ready to get off campus and head home and sleep. She’s just getting to the car when her phone buzzes in her pocket, and usually, she’d ignore it—but it buzzes in the custom pattern she has for Adora, so she checks the message immediately and responds just as quick.

Adora: :(

Catra: gimme 15 min princess

Adora doesn’t respond, but she reads the message right away; so Catra pockets her phone and makes a quick detour to McDonald’s to get what she calls Adora’s Bad Day meal: a McDouble, medium fries, medium mango smoothie, and an apple pie. While she waits for the food, she tries to think of what could be wrong—and, oh. She probably got back the results on the test she’d studied so hard for recently. Knowing Adora, she did well too; she’s just so goddamn hard on herself sometimes.

When the food comes, Catra texts Adora again to let her know she’s on the way, then speeds home and finds Adora curled up in bed, eyes closed. “Hey, babe. Bad day?”

Adora nods and Catra sits down beside her, placing the food on the bedside table and waiting for Adora to sit up so she can wrap an arm around her and hold her close. Adora doesn’t speak, and Catra doesn’t push, just holds her safe and quiet until Adora decides she’s ready for words again.

2—

In her sophomore year, when Catra still lived in the dorms, she spent so much time at Adora’s that they joked that she was her third roommate. They walked home together after classes almost every day, studied together on the couch, had dinner and watched TV until passing out, curled under the thick fleece blanket Adora brought down from her room. By now, Catra has long since learned where all of the utensils and cooking supplies are kept, and where to put the blankets when they’re done with them, and most importantly, how to work the oven.

The first time Adora invites her up to her room isn’t until the end of the school year, and Catra doesn’t think it’s a big deal, until Bow barges in and ends up just staring with wide eyes at the sight of them sitting on opposite sides of the bed, each on their own laptops and enjoying the other’s silence.

“What is it, Bow?” Adora asks without looking up. Catra would be proud of how hard her friend is working if she didn’t already know that Adora had been online shopping for the past fifteen minutes.

“You—just. You have someone in your room. You never do that.”

“Yeah, well...Catra’s just special.”

“About time you admit it,” Catra grumbles, yelping as Adora kicks her. But Adora’s laughing, and that makes Catra smile too, and she doesn’t even notice the way Bow slips out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

3—

It’s almost Thanksgiving break of their junior year, and when Adora calls her mom to make sure someone remembers to pick her up from the train station, it’s Mara that answers. “Hey, brat,” she says, sticking her tongue out at the camera. Adora sticks her tongue out right back, trying not to laugh because she’s supposed to still be mad at Mara for hanging up on her after their last call.

“Where’s mama?”

“In the kitchen, making dinner for her favorite daughter, of course. Oh, tell Catra hi.”

From the floor, Catra calls out, “Hey, Mara,” and Adora ignores the way Mara is grinning at her now.

“Are you picking me up from the station, or should I ask mama?”

“Hm. I don’t know, I’ll be out—”

“I haven’t even said when I’m coming!”

Mara winks and then twists around, and Adora watches as she passes the camera to Razz, smiling wide at the sight of adoptive mother. “Hi, mama!”

“Oh, how are you, dearie?”

“I’m good—”

“I am too, Razz,” Catra interjects. Adora holds out the phone so Razz can see Catra, studying on the floor at her feet.

“C’yra! Are you coming home with Adora too?”

Very matter-of-factly, Catra says, “I don’t know, I wasn’t invited.”

“Of course you’re invited, dearie! You’re always welcome here, you know that!”

“I know, Razz, I was just teasing Adora—you know, she still hasn’t invited me?”

“What! Don’t put that on me, you—” Catra twists around and grins at Adora, and god, she’s never hated her more.

“I’m surprised she didn’t invite you, you’re all she ever talks about,” Mara cuts in.

“Oh really now?”

“Oh my god, Mara, shut up!”

“Be nice, Adora. Your sister is just telling the truth.”

Catra’s smile is absolutely devious at Razz’s words, and Adora feels her cheeks go pink as she asks what exactly Adora’s been talking about. Before Mara can begin to speak, Adora grabs her phone and hangs up.

“Not a word, or you’re uninvited.”

“You never officially invited me, so…”

Adora decides then that she absolutely hates Catra.

4—

The first time Catra comes home with Adora for break is...interesting, to say in the least. Razz is usually super chill with who stays over at the house, but she’s made up the spare room and told Adora in a stern voice that Catra will be sleeping in her room and that Adora will take the spare. Mara is home too; she and Catra take an immediate liking to each other, bonded over sharing embarrassing Adora stories and baby pictures. Even Razz falls for Catra quick, and Adora rolls her eyes with a smile every time her mom calls Catra “my dear” and piles more food onto her plate every night at dinner.

But she can’t say she’s any different; she shows Catra all around the town she grew up in, takes her to all of her old haunts: the ice skating rink, the movie theater by the river, the bowling alley that they used to celebrate Christmas at every year when she was growing up. She shows her the best ice cream place in town, and her high school, and they go on a whim to the new escape room that’s just popped up.

Catra loves all of it, but she especially loves teasing Adora with Mara, because of course she does.

“Adora, you never told me about your thing for horses,” she says one night after dinner. They’re curled up in Adora’s bed watching youtube videos on Catra’s laptop, Adora half asleep and not really paying attention. She keeps dozing off on Catra’s shoulder and shaking herself awake—the third time she woke up, she realized that Catra turned the volume way down low so as to not wake her.

“I did not have a thing for horses! Whatever Mara told you, she lied.”

“And I suppose she made up the Christmas letter you wrote Santa asking for a talking rainbow unicorn pegasus?”

Adora struggles to sit up, still sleepy, and Catra pushes her back down easily. “Relax, princess, I’m just teasing you. It’s cute—and if it makes you feel any better, I’m pretty sure I asked Santa to be able to turn into a cat so I could get away with not doing chores.”

After a moment, Adora lets Catra push her back down; she tries to settle down on the pillow Catra isn’t using, but her friend makes a disgruntled noise and guides her head back to her shoulder before unpausing the video.

Adora falls asleep like that, to Catra’s quiet breaths and warmth and the quiet drone of the video she’s watching. When she wakes up in the middle of the night, they’ve both been tucked in, and though she must be uncomfortable, Catra has left her there, head pillowed by her shoulder. It’s probably the best sleep Adora’s had in years.

5—

Adora meets Catra—officially—in her freshman English class.

They’ve been reading Romeo and Juliet for the past few weeks and today the teacher decides that since no one’s actually reading it at home, that they’ll read outloud, acting out the play to the best of their abilities. It feels very high schoolish, but Adora doesn’t mind so long as she doesn’t get a character with a lot of speaking parts.

So of course, she gets assigned Juliet.

The teacher assures those with large speaking parts that they’ll switch out every so often so that everyone gets a chance to read—they’ll switch every page or two.

The Romeo that speaks before Adora’s turn is Catra. She doesn’t know her name then; all she knows is that her Romeo slouches in her seat, has wild brown hair and reads in a monotone voice.

Until—

“Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?”

“Ay, pilgrim,” Adora says, and out of the corner of her eye, she sees her Romeo straighten and turn to look at her, “lips that they must use in prayer.”

All of a sudden, it’s like a new person reading. This time her voice comes out low and smooth, and Adora can practically hear her smirk as she says, “Oh then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do, they pray—grant thou, lest faith turn to despair.”

The glance her Romeo flashes her makes Adora’s cheeks go pink, and she’s read this play enough times to know what comes next, but she’s sure the way her voice shakes will just play into character more. “Saints do not move, though grant for prayers’ sake.”

“Then move not while my prayer’s effect I take,” and now her Romeo is standing, coming close to her, sitting easily on her desk as she leans in close to continue, “thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purged.”

And then, by the book, she kisses her.

(The whole class loves it, and Adora cannot stop blushing and sneaking glances at her Romeo for the rest of class. Whenever their gazes meet—which happens often—her Romeo just gives her that shit-eating grin again, and though the whole encounter shouldn’t matter that much, Adora finds herself intrigued. Especially since her Romeo just shrugs and tells the teacher that she was “just getting into character” when asked.

She finds out later that her name is Catra, and that despite the bold persona she put on for class, she’s actually quite shy and easily flustered. But she is warm, and familiar, and they get along so well that Adora is honestly surprised she hasn’t known Catra all her life.)

1—

Catra can’t stop staring at Adora’s hair. She’d cut it boyishly short as the summer heat wore on and now the golden strands just barely curl against the back of her neck. Freckles dot the skin of her shoulders and neck and Catra kind of wants to connect the dots with her finger to see what constellations they’ll make, kind of wants to kiss each one to count them all. Either way, she doesn’t move.

“You know what Mara asked me when she called yesterday?” Adora suddenly asks.

Catra startles and blinks; when she comes back into focus, she finds that Adora has rolled over to look at her. She’s got a faint smile on her lips, the one that she reserves solely for when Catra does something dumb, and after a pause for a beat too long, Catra remembers what Adora had said and asks, “What?”

“She asked me how you were doing. Or—no, she asked ‘how’s your girlfriend’, and when I said I didn’t have a girlfriend, she said she meant you.”

“Dork,” Catra mutters, and when Adora sticks her tongue out, Catra wiggles closer to her just to poke her forehead. “Tell your sister I’m doing good, if not dying in the heat.”

“We’ve only got two weeks left before we go home, you’ll live.” But Adora is frowning sympathetically at Catra’s curls, frizzy and wild from the oppressive heat. As much as they’re loving their vacation to Aruba, the heat is not doing it for either of them.

“Come here, I’ll—” Adora stands, brushing sand from her knees before sitting behind Catra. With a grumble, Catra sits up as well and closes her eyes as Adora begins to run her fingers through her hair, gently detangling it the best she can with her fingers. Once she’s satisfied, she begins to braid it—and she’s done this enough that the processes is over quick even with the thick unruliness of Catra’s hair. When she’s done, Catra leans back into her and like clockwork, Adora’s arms come round to wrap around her waist. Catra tries to ignore the way her back presses into Adora’s chest, tries to ignore the way Adora’s fingers are toying with the hem of her shorts, tries to ignore the way her heart is racing double time in her chest.

“I just thought it was funny, what Mara said.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, just…” Adora shrugs and rests her chin on Catra’s shoulder, “she’s not the only one that does that, you know. Everyone thinks we’re dating even though we’re just best friends, and I—”

Adora cuts herself off so abruptly that Catra reluctantly pulls away from her, turning around to look her in the eye. “And you what?”

Adora frowns, chewing on her lip as she thinks, and she reaches out blindly for one of Catra’s hands to hold as she thinks. Catra lets her, staying quiet and stroking her thumb across Adora’s knuckles; she knows that Adora needs time to think through and process whatever’s on her mind, that she’ll speak when she’s ready. So she waits. She’d always wait.

And finally: “And I...I think I kind of love you, in every way that there is to love.”

Oh.

“Are you going to...say something?” Adora asks. She seems hesitant, unsure, and god, of course she would.

“Adora, you’re...you know how I am with words, but. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anything. I think I always will. I don’t know when I realized, but…” Catra shakes her head, giving up on words to just stare. Because Adora, her golden, summer-freckled, sun-burnt Adora, loves her. “We’ve known each other for only what, four years? But it feels like—”

“Forever,” Adora finishes. Catra reaches out just as Adora collapses into her, and on the summer beach in Aruba, they kiss for the second time. As Adora sighs against her lips and slots their fingers together, Catra thinks that this, this is the final puzzle piece, finally slipped into place.

(The next day, when Razz asks how Adora’s girlfriend is, Adora very smugly reports that she’s good. Catra finally lets herself kiss the beauty mark on Adora’s shoulder, and relaxes into her as Mara and Razz begin to interrogate her about what happened.

And finally, Catra realizes that this is what it feels like to finally come home.)

[xbreezymeadowsx]

200 Questions

No one asked me to do it but I made @sharpiewashere do it so it’s only fair I suffer through, too.

200: My crush’s name is: Zach because husband but also... Tommy motherfuckin’ Flanagan

199: I was born in: New Hampshire

198: I am really: horny and annoyed

197: My cellphone company is: Verizon

196: My eye color is: Brown

195: My shoe size is: like 10.5W I think.

194: My ring size is: I think it’s a 9.

193: My height is: 5’ 3”

192: I am allergic to: cats and crop dust

191: My 1st car was: old ass shitty Jeep Grand Cherokee

190: My 1st job was: at a stand in a city mall where we had an inflatable slide and two bounces houses and served sno cones, smoothies, and novelty ice creams

189: Last book you read: Fangs by Sarah Andersen

188: My bed is: fuckin’ broken and uncomfortable and clearly not big enough for myself and my bedhog husband.

187: My pet: 1 old black cat.

186: My best friend: Yuki (that bitch is my best best best friend and I miss her to pieces)

185: My favorite shampoo is: Garnier Whole Blends: Honey Treasures

184: Xbox or ps3: Fuck both. Switch.

183: Piggy banks are: cute

182: In my pockets: nada at the moment

181: On my calendar: is scribbles from my kid

180: Marriage is: Don’t marry a redneck!

179: Spongebob can: stop. Give me the early Bob but that’s it.

178: My mom: loves Unicorns

177: The last three songs I bought were? Wap metal version, Room with a Zoo, Shoop

176: Last YouTube video watched: GabSmolders playing Control

175: How many cousins do you have? technically only 2 by blood and actual familial connections. 6 if you count some others. 9 if you count step-cousins.

174: Do you have any siblings? 1 big Seester!

173: Are your parents divorced? Yeah

172: Are you taller than your mom? Maybe? IDK, we’re both shorties

171: Do you play an instrument? sadly, no.

170: What did you do yesterday? Slept and worked

[ I Believe In ]

169: Love at first sight: yes

168: Luck: yes

167: Fate: yes

166: Yourself: HA, you’re funny.

165: Aliens: no

164: Heaven: these are...

163: Hell: ... kinda loaded...

162: God: ... questions

161: Horoscopes: maybe

160: Soul mates: yes

159: Ghosts: yes

158: Gay Marriage: yes

157: War: yes

156: Orbs: yes

155: Magic: yes

[ This or That ]

154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs

153: Drunk or High: unfortunately neither.

152: Phone or Online: online

151: Red heads or Black haired: black

150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunette

149: Hot or cold: cold

148: Summer or winter: winter

147: Autumn or Spring: autumn

146: Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate

145: Night or Day: night

144: Oranges or Apples: apples

143: Curly or Straight hair: straight

142: McDonalds or Burger King: McD’s outta these choices but I’d take Steak’N’Shake over either.

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Milk and Dark.

140: Mac or PC: PC

139: Flip flops or high heals: flip flops

138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: Zach can be sweet (he certainly isn’t ugly to look at) and we’re definitely on the poor side.

137: Coke or Pepsi: Pepsi (anybody remember Pepsi Twist? That was the best!)

136: Hillary or Obama: Obama

135: Buried or cremated: Buried I guess. Though, if I’m cremated, my ashes need to be spread in one place and no separating them.

134: Singing or Dancing: singing

133: Coach or Chanel: I am a redneck, these things don’t mean anything to me.

132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who?

131: Small town or Big city: small town

130: Wal-Mart or Target: Either? I shop Wal-Mart all the time out of convenience but I do like Target

129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: I am overall not a fan of either barring a select couple movies (like Heavyweights and Little Nicky)

128: Manicure or Pedicure: no thanks.

127: East Coast or West Coast: east coast

126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas

125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate

124: Disney or Six Flags: Can I go to a Zoo instead?

123: Yankees or Red Sox: I’ll say Sox because New England but I don’t particularly care for baseball.

[ Here’s What I Think About ]

122: War: there’s a time and place

121: George Bush: he’s an idiot?

120: Gay Marriage: yay!

119: The presidential election: tearing families apart because people are stupid and vote for Trump

118: Abortion: this is a bit of a grey area for me. While I firmly believe in “my body, my choice”, I do not accept that argument if you are constantly getting them as if it is a form of birth control. Use proper contraceptives you slut.

117: MySpace: does that even exist anymore?

116: Reality TV: certain ones can assume me.

115: Parents: love them even when you don’t like them.

114: Back stabbers: pussies.

113: Ebay: never used it

112: Facebook: is reserved for pictures of kids, pets, funny videos and memes, and gifs.

111: Work: shitty... literally

110: My Neighbors: I’m just glad they aren’t the cousin-fuckers or the Methicans anymore.

109: Gas Prices: it takes like 20 bucks to fill my tiny car gas tank so whatever.

108: Designer Clothes: never fit me

107: College: didn’t go.

106: Sports: HA. My fat ass play sports? Maybe Badminton or Tetherball but that’s it.

105: My family: lives too far away.

104: The future: needs to be better than now.

[ Last time I ]

103: Hugged someone: like 20 mins ago when my kid was trying to suck up to me to get a sip of my frappe.

102: Last time you ate: two hours ago.

101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: Zane’s first day of school this year. Miss Angie came over to see him off in the morning.

100: Cried in front of someone: probably a few weeks ago.

99: Went to a movie theater: Twilight Breaking Dawn pt 2.

98: Took a vacation: three years ago.

97: Swam in a pool: probably close to 8 or more years ago.

96: Changed a diaper: 4-5 yrs ago.

95: Got my nails done: professionally? never. By Zane? last weekend.

94: Went to a wedding: three years ago.

93: Broke a bone: never. dislocated shit though.

92: Got a piercing: over a decade

91: Broke the law: probably frequently without realizing it.

90: Texted: couple mins ago.

[ MISC ]

89: Who makes you laugh the most: oh I’m a funny bitch

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: nothing? fuck this house. fuck this town. fuck this state. I wanna go HOME home.

87: The last movie I saw: Smokin’ Aces 2

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: my nephew’s birth and the vacation we plan to take to see him!

85: The thing i’m not looking forward to: the travel for the vacation stated above.

84: People call me: a lot of things. most of them true.

83: The most difficult thing to do is: wake up

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope

81: My zodiac sign is: Taurus

80: The first person i talked to today was: my husband

79: First time you had a crush: I had a massive crush on Shawn Micheals as a kid.

78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: my Seester

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: probably someone in the Flanaclan Chapel

76: Right now I am talking to: the Flanaclan on and off

75: What are you going to do when you grow up: I’m supposed to grow up?

74: I have/will get a job: yes

73: Tomorrow: is Halloween

72: Today: I’m horny and annoyed

71: Next Summer: is a long time away

70: Next Weekend: work

69: I have these pets: already answered

68: The worst sound in the world: right now I’d have to say it’s Zane clucking his tongue.

67: The person that makes me cry the most is: myself? or more specifically my anxiety brain.

66: People that make you happy: my Flanaclan friends, my bff, my sister.

65: Last time I cried: a few weeks ago

64: My friends are: on the internet and/or mostly too far away

63: My computer is: a hunk of shit laptop

62: My School: never going ever again.

61: My Car: looks like the car emoji.

60: I lose all respect for people who: beat animals

59: The movie I cried at was: recently? Up

58: Your hair color is: brown

57: TV shows you watch: SOA, SVU, SWAT, wrestling, Wynonna Earp, Van Helsing, Supernatural

56: Favorite web site: tumblr and youtube

55: Your dream vacation: Scotland, Ireland, Wales, England, all that.

54: The worst pain I was ever in was: dislocating my knee

53: How do you like your steak cooked: med rare

52: My room is: some boring off-white

51: My favorite celebrity is: Tommy Flanagan

50: Where would you like to be: New Hampshire

49: Do you want children: I have 1 and that’s 1 too many.

48: Ever been in love: yup

47: Who’s your best friend: didn’t I already answer this?

46: More guy friends or girl friends: girls nowadays. guys around here suck.

45: One thing that makes you feel great is: reading Chibs fics, staring at Flanagan

44: One person that you wish you could see right now: Flanagan

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: hell no

42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: no

41: Have you pre-named your children: I did not.

40: Last person I got mad at: me

39: I would like to move to: for the millionth time, New Hampshire

38: I wish I was a professional: dog sitter/walker

[ My Favorites ]

37: Candy: Sour Patch Watermelons

36: Vehicle: 90′s Ford Ranger, Jeep Renegade, Jeep Wrangler, Jeep Gladiator, Ford Shelby GT350R 

35: President: certainly not the fuckin’ current one.

34: State visited: Massachusetts

33: Cellphone provider: Verizon

32: Athlete: Aleister Black, Drew McIntyre, Luchasaurus, Sonny Kiss (and fuck you if you try to tell me they aren’t athletes)

31: Actor: Tommy Flanagan

30: Actress: Millie Bobby Brown

29: Singer: Ville Valo

28: Band: HIM

27: Clothing store: don’t care.

26: Grocery store: don’t care.

25: TV show: Law & Order: SVU (as much as I’d love to say SOA, Law & Order was my first real love)

24: Movie: 10 Things I Hate About You

23: Website: tumblr, youtube

22: Animal: dogs, wolves

21: Theme park: Zoos

20: Holiday: Halloween

19: Sport to watch: professional wrestling, football, hockey

18: Sport to play: nothing that requires that much energy

17: Magazine: don’t read them much

16: Book: the House Of Night series and sequel series by P.C. Cast and Kristen Cast (I don’t care that I’m probably too old for them now, I love them)

15: Day of the week: Saturday

14: Beach: Hampton Beach, NH

13: Concert attended: 69 Eyes headlined (opening with Night Kills The Day, then Fair To Midland which were fine but also Wednesday 13!!!!!)

12: Thing to cook: fajitas

11: Food: apple fritters/apple cider donuts

10: Restaurant: Panda Express I suppose.

9: Radio station: WGFA

8: Yankee candle scent: Midsummers Night

7: Perfume: don’t wear perfume so much as body spray and it’s usually something like cucumber melon or some baked goods scent.

6: Flower: Tiger Lillies

5: Color: Green- specifically Forest/Hunter

4: Talk show host: idk I used to watch Maury all the time, does that count?

3: Comedian: George Carlin

2: Dog breed: Pittie mixes, mutts, labs, medium to big short haired breeds

1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Yes I did.

[the-explodin-kittins]

theimperfetc:

spankfuckabuseme:

Oh Tumblr, I have quite the story for you today. I’m back from my break with quite the cautionary tale. My message? Don’t fucking trust people from the internet. I know this, I really do, I’ve been burned by crazies here before. But the sociopaths just keep getting smarter and better at lying. Take this to heart, learn from my mistakes and naivety. Just because it happened to me doesn’t mean it has to happen to you too.

So here’s a tale about how I got catfished on tumblr.

A few months back, I got to know a fellow blogger, @silence-in-submission and her Daddy, @thewolfsdarklair/@kinginthesheets. I was talking with both of them for a bit, but then things got a bit more personal and serious between Wolf and I. We got to know each other, had a lot in common, and started messaging on Kik damn near constantly. He told me he was a single dad, and that his ex walked out when his son was 3 months old and it’s been just him ever since. I’ve never actually trusted anyone on tumblr enough to give them more than a few details about myself, but this slimeball is good at making you trust him and charming the pants off women, myself included. He made himself into the perfect man and played the part well. He used my vulnerable state of going through a divorce to weasel his way into my heart.

BUT! Though shady, this isn’t even the most scandalous part of my tale…yes, I’m a piece of shit man stealer, I’ll own that. But try to keep up, so far we have a tumblr submissive, and a tumblr girlfriend. Girlfriend knows about submissive, submissive does not know about girlfriend. Read on.

Anyways, we start chatting more and more often and he tells me how amazing and special I am, I’m the most incredible woman he’s ever known. I let him into my life enough to show him pics and videos of my son and I. My sweet kiddo blew this monster kisses on FaceTime. He shows me photos and videos of his son and himself. Snuggling on the couch, coaching his sons T-Ball games. Father of the year, swoon! Plays up the single dad card, hard. He messages me nonstop, “good morning beautiful” every morning, phone calls on our commutes to work daily. We had the same favorite bands. We both loved to cook. He told me about his family. His careers. He would message me links to sweet country songs of how he felt about me. My ringtone for him was “Crave You” by Thomas Rhett, I legit bought a damn ringtone for this dickwad because that was “our” song. He would conveniently disappear over weekends, busy with his single dad gig, but in reality he was otherwise occupied.

It was soon, but man I was sure I was in love with this joker. My dumb ass bought a plane ticket to see him, with his enthusiastic blessing. I was supposed to go see and stay with him over Easter weekend. We were both so excited! We could finally be in each other’s arms at last, he said it felt like “I had been his for a lifetime” already. We were going to sight see in his city, cook dinner together and have loads of crazy, kinky sexy. I had a countdown app on my phone counting the days, minutes and seconds until I was with this amazing man. He conveniently disappeared from the face of the earth a few days before and surfaces the afternoon before my flight to tell me he’s out of the country for work and he’s so sorry but I have to cancel my trip. I thought it was odd he flew out of the country without a heads up, but he said it was super last minute and he needed to make arrangements for where his son would stay when he was gone. He was “overseas” for over a week before he told me I would have to cancel my trip. He’s gunna make it up to me 10fold, he misses me, he loves me. Ya know, it was fishy, but shit happens with work. I was devastated and mad he didn’t tell me sooner he was away on work. But here I am, out the better part of $500. He’s “out of the country” for another week and once he’s back, I sent a care package to him and his son of stuff for them. I went to copy and paste the address he gave me and google popped up with the address and it was a commercial building, not a home. Strange. I asked him on the phone why he gave me a fake address, and he casually told me it was the building he worked in. Still strange, why wouldn’t I send it to your house? Oh well. I was so excited to send something from me to him. It was super cute, love letter with cartoon hearts at all. I’m a SUPER thoughtful and romantic person, I went all out asking him if he would be my boyfriend “officially”. I got him stuff from his favorite shows and movies, same with his son, and here I am out more money on this joker. He thought it was super cute, said his son loved the books and he loved the figurines I sent him.

So we plan another trip, two actually. He tells me he’s flying here for the weekend April 26-30th. My son had a brief stay in the hospital due to illness and he was the perfect boyfriend during the whole ordeal, calling while I was at the hospital and cooing “awww poor buddy” when my son would cry. Messaging to make sure we were ok. Everything is going well, we’re released from the hospital and my boyfriend will be here in less than a week! Ahhhh! I just moved to a new house and I’m working on making it presentable and homey for us to nestle up in over the long weekend. I got us tickets to see Infinity War together. We were going to go dancing and I had a babysitter! Yet again, the same as the last trip, he falls off the face of the earth for “work.” This was on Friday the 20th and I have yet to hear from him again and as far as he knows, he thinks I still think he’s planning to come here Thursday and he hasn’t said a word to me! I’m sure he was planning an elaborate work story for this Wednesday to message me with, but I’m sure he will see all of this before then and hopefully not waste his time. We also had plans for me to pick him up from a nearby town May 7th after a work trip that would bring him back this way so soon! I was so lucky, I get to have the man I love sleeping next to me two weeks in a row?! Luckiest girl ever, so spoiled.

But…something just felt…off? the other day. My PTSD from him canceling the last trip was making this past weekend feel eerily familiar. He was off the radar again, I was sick with worry, and I had the impending doom feeling in my gut. Part of me knew there were never any plane tickets.

I had ran a background check on him previously and most things he told me checked out. His age, where he lives, his family members he has mentioned in passing. No marriages or crazy criminal charges listed (but man, 20 was a rough year for you, wasn’t it man?) I missed a small detail the first go around. I missed an eviction suit from last year, with a codefendent listed of the female variety that I was positive wasn’t a family member. Facebook to the rescue, and to my utter dismay, his codefendent was in fact his WIFE since 2015, the MOTHER of his son who supposedly bailed, and they have ANOTHER son who recently turned 1! His wife also may or may not currently be pregnant with number 3, I’m not positive. Oh my. All the happy family photos, I swear to you I threw up where I was at when this news sunk in. The man who said he saw a future with me, saw marriage with me, couldn’t wait for us and our kids (the one I knew about anyways) to all be together at last. We casually discussed me moving to be closer to him in the future if our trips went well. If this would have played out longer, who knows how much of my life I would have ruined for the lies this man told me. But…he already had a happily ever after.

I had been fooled. And not to any fault of my own, other than my naivety. I’m not an idiot, I did my due diligence and did a background check, but one little line on there was missed and I ignored all the little details about him that were sketchy because of the way he made me feel with his words. This man is an expert liar and sociopath. Who knows what shit he spins to his wife to cover his ass with his online affairs. I feel so bad for her. I feel so bad for anyone else he’s involved with. I feel so bad for myself for getting mixed up with this mess. I hate that I didn’t trust my gut when I felt like he was too good to be true, because part of me always knew he was too good to be true. The last photo is the last contact he had with me last Friday, keep in mind he’s supposed to be flying to see me Thursday supposedly. Oh and PLOT TWIST! The child he said he was a single dad to? Send me photos and videos of? I sent him a carepackage? IT’S NOT HIS CHILD. It’s his wives from another man! So he exploited a child that’s NOT EVEN HIS.

Silence, I felt, and still feel dirty, for beginning a relationship with a man who was already in a D/s dynamic, but he said he wanted more with me than that - led me to believe you were just a hobby and I was the real deal. He told me to say the word and you would be gone, that I was “so much more to him than that.” Led me to believe he was slowly breaking things off with you to be with me completely. And I sincerely bought into it, unfortunately. I thought he had told you about me when I sent you those cryptic messages a few weeks ago. I also played along when he sent me fake messages to screenshot to calm you down. The messages telling me to back off from your dynamic in February we’re also fake. I know, I’m an awful bitch for toeing in on your property, but you’ve got to know he played us both the same and I fell for it hook, line and sinker. What I did wasn’t right, I’m sorry, but we’re both victims here and I’m glad I was able to uncover the truth about this piece of shit. It’s not us. There’s nothing wrong with you, beautiful girl, this man is a selfish monster, don’t let this ruin you and for the love of god don’t believe whatever lies he’s going to tell you to keep you around. You can do better. We both can.

My dearest N, you sociopathic anal hemorrhage. I know you thought you were smart, how could this crazy little 20 some girl blow up your spot? You’re alpha, established, educated, and wise. You had it all figured out. There’s no way that your loving B would ever be suspicious of you, because I just LOVED you so extremely, right? All you need is love, baby. Well, love be but a feeling and though I felt it strongly for the person I thought you were, logic and the truth always win. I’m not an idiot, honey, and I fucking figured it out. The lies roll off your tongue like cotton candy. You know all the right things to say. But you can’t talk your way out of this explosion, buddy. I hope the lies and drama were worth the shitstorm you’re about to experience. You say you don’t do drama but my sweet idiot, you ARE drama. I’m sure you can understand why I had to go and message your wife every conversation, detail, photo and video you’ve ever sent me because being a Libra, you’re all about justice, my badass teddy bear. I’m sure you’re tempted to lash out now and try to hurt ME by sharing the intimate pictures and videos I sent to you of myself, but let me remind you that’s called “revenge porn” and given your job, you know that isn’t legal. Every person you cross paths with is either a blessing or a lesson, and though I KNOW my presence is a motherfucking blessing, you’re gunna learn this goddamn lesson today, fuckboy.

So let this be a lesson.

1. Block this dude. Both of his accounts. He’s bad news. There’s good people on tumblr, and we don’t need this sociopath muddying our waters. I’m sure he will resurface with a new blog, but heed this cautionary tale. 2. Don’t ignore red flags because of sweet words. Actions speak louder than words. 3. Don’t meet people from the internet without a background check, and check it thoroughly and use every tool the internet gives you to verify family members and details about the person you’re meeting. A person can be anyone they want to be online, and men like this think they’re invincible. 4. Make someone work hard to earn your heart. Even if someone seems to check all the boxes and seems like your perfect man, if he is, he will earn your heart - you won’t have to give it to him with hesitations, you won’t have to wonder at night when you’ll hear from him next.

I don’t know if this asshole is a prick, a sociopath, a monster, or if he just thinks he’s smarter than everyone else. Well, he’s not. Not for long enough. If you know of this vaguely human-shaped piece of shit, then spread the word. He shouldn’t have contact with anything more than the fucking curb. I expect both his blogs to be gone pretty much right away here, but he’s obviously an addict to this kind of behavior. He’ll be back and looking to get his kicks off of the vulnerable again.

Be careful who you let in this deep, people are more fucked up than you know. If something seems off, look into it harder. And trust your gut. Mine knew something was wrong with this sack of bees with a face, but didn’t step in in time.

@thewolfsdarklair you’re narcissistic enough to be reading this. Fuck you. With a rusty garden rake, in a counterclockwise swirl, in the lemon and salt depository of hell.

#douchecanoe