#I guess it's not that early if I'm almost in my 30s. But I made this joke and my wife laughed. So you get to see it too.

[hollowtones]

pre-gaming bigger tits by experiencing early onset back pain

[0tivez]

adrenalize

synopsis: a perfect student can get in toruble every now and then too, right? except this time, you get into trouble with your famous bachelor professor satoru gojo for an unorthodox reason, and he'll make sure you make up for it

characters: gojo

warnings: female reader, student reader x professor gojo, semi-public sex, age gap (early 20s to late 20s), oral (female + male receiving), very light power play, dub-con (maybe?), unprotected sex, degrading/praising, breeding. mdni

wc: 4.3k

note: yes, this is my dark fantasy of being accepted as a mean looking emo bitch. no, i'm not in love with my professor. emo sluts rise (emo=reader wears all black and has dark makeup lol sorry couldn't pull a wattpad) it's our time to have steamy office sex with 2d men. see the end for more notes!

you know, i don't really put in songs, but what the hell. this one's for the emos

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"oh, i have an appointment with professor gojo today" you tell your friend as you lay your lunch tray onto the table.

"for what?" she asks, her motion following yours. you two sit comfortably on the wooden chairs.

"i don't know. my grades, i guess? but my grades are fine, so i don't really know" you answer in confusion, and stab a big piece of chicken.

"well, i wish he would call me in his office"

"what?" you almost choke on your food. you look at your friend with big, dumb eyes. you wouldn't have been this surprised if she confessed to murdering someone, and you shouldn't be surprised at her confession either. yet somehow, you are.

"satoru's kinda hot, isn't he?" she responds, scrunching her nose. "he's also, like, extremely smart and funny"

"he's fucking old"

"um, no he's not? half of the school has bag of bones for professors, satoru's like... what, 30? i've fucked older"

"still, so inappropriate" you shut the conversation down. sure, you two had joked about how hot gojo is, and sure, the idea did entertain your mind, but it's between you two, a very private inside joke. you feel exposed this way, and the last thing you need is having that image of your professor in your mind as he lectures you about god knows what later today.

"i bet he fucks like his age too" she smirks across the table. you turn your head around anxiously to see if anyone's heard you two, but the loud cafeteria outweighs your little dirty convo.

"shut up!"

"girl you know damn well-"

"let's talk about this after i get scolded today. i don't want to worry about this man anymore"

it's 5.40 pm. where is he? he was supposed to meet you after class, yet he's nowhere to be found. and you're there standing in shame, as students pass you by, probably wondering what happened for you to be waiting like a stray kitten by his office.

of course, it's nothing to be ashamed of. god, you don't even know what you're supposed to be ashamed of yet! but here you are, cold sweat down your neck, hands nervously moving up and down your arms as you wait for time to pass.

that's how you are. quiet, nervous. yet most people have a different image of you; a colder, meaner image. it's difficult for you to socialize, so you stick to your two friends you made ages ago for your in-class interactions. for classes, you opt for quietly listening to your lectures rather than being interactive, even though you know it's not the right way, and you want to be social. that's why most professors rarely remember your name or your face- not that they're eager to know you anyways. that's why it's so confusing. what did you do to get called like this? how did he even know your name?

"ah- sorry for being late" gojo rushes next to you. his tall figure guides you to the narrow hallway where his office is hidden in. he quickly unlocks the door, and waits for you to enter first. "sit, i'll be back in a couple minutes" you nod.

once he turns around, you quickly observe his clothes. he always knew how to be stylish, even though his clothes are always basic. you figured it must be his fit figure that makes anything he wears compliment him. he's always clean and rich looking; never would he wear a wrinkled shirt. the female students would anticipate warm weathers, where gojo would sometimes wear a tight, black t-shirt and jeans. not today tho. although the weather is warm, he's wearing a light blue linen shirt with black jeans, complimented with a thick, leather belt. his shirt exposed his contoured collarbones, and arms exposed with an expensive looking watch to complete the look. and his face... god, his face.

he shuts the door behind you. you're left for your own thoughts. sitting down is uncomfortable for you, the only thing you can hear is your heartbeat. the building is empty, you can faintly hear students speaking from outside. you get up, and look around his office. it's filled with thick, leather covered books. interesting, you wouldn't assume he's into reading by looking at him, or hearing him speak. it must be professional deformation. papers are scattered around on his desk. everywhere else except for his desk is tidied and clean, but his desk is a warzone.

the door opens.

"hi, hello, sorry for making you wait. hope you didn't miss me too much" gojo paces toward his desk.

you shake your head. "it's alright, you must be very busy"

gojo stands over his desk and gathers some papers in his hand and puts them aside. "well, it is difficult to be the fun one in this department, y'know?" his blue eyes focus on yours for a moment, as he waits for a reaction from you. you chuckle in response.

gojo pulls out a paper from the batch and sits down. he raises the paper and looks at you. he calls your name. "correct?"

just the way he said your name sends chills down your spine. god, in that moment, you truly wish you would be more active in class, only to hear him call your name.

"correct"

he reads the paper quickly without putting it down. he looks like a kid doing it, yet you feel as if you were in front of a judge.

"so, interesting. you know your grade, right?" you nod.

"i-is there a problem? i thought i did good"

"oh, you did, definitely. this paper is very impressive. i enjoyed reading it." he smiles at you. "the only problem was, i had no idea whose paper i was reading the whole time"

you sit there silently. where was he heading at? he didn't call you in just to tell you to be more active in class, right?

"i mean i did know, i know how to read, but there wasn't a face you know? our class is pretty small, so i know most people. but you, who are you?"

"excuse me?" you manage to let out.

"you don't speak much in class, don't talk to anyone else in class, yet you never skip a class. and then boom! you write out this paper"

"am- am i being accused of something, sir?"

gojo looks amused. he grins, and rests on his back, crossing his arms. his muscles show up, is he trying to look intimidating? is he trying to get a confession out of you? cheating? stealing?

"no, nothing at all. i'm just curious. it's important that i know my pupils. talking to strangers affect my performance too"

"i- guess i'm more of a listener" you feel so small in front of him. this is embarrassing.

gojo gets up and walks to the chair across you.

"but you see, you don't look friendly either."

"wha-"

"i remember seeing you in class and thinking 'wow, she really doesn't wanna be here' which is new to me, cause i'm fun!" now you're sure he must be offended or something.

"sir, if that's the issue, i'll be more active from now on" you just want to leave. whatever it takes, leave.

"but why?" he ignores your suggestion. "why hate being with me?" gojo leans in to be closer to you. his long legs and big body help him be closer to you, despite the small coffee table separating you two.

"there's not a reason, sir. i don't hate-"

"i'm used to being popular among female students, y'know?"

this time, it's your turn to giggle.

"i'm sorry, is this what it's been about? you're offended that i'm not attracted to you?" lie. you're crazy for him. maybe that's why you're extra shy around him. but somehow, a wave of confidence washes over you in this moment. maybe it's the sincerity of him, maybe it's the ridiculousness of the situation. but whatever it is, it made you get a fiendish chuckle from your professor.

"it just doesn't happen. do you hate me? did i do something to you?"

"no, sir, i'm just a shy person"

"why the face?" he points at his own face, and makes a sulky face that you think is supposed to be mimicking your face.

you shrug your shoulders and smile in disbelief. "it's just my face! sir, if it matters to you, i think you're great. i enjoy your lectures, and i promise i'll be more active from now on" you wave your hands and get up to leave. gojo follows after you.

he lays a hand on your shoulder to keep you still.

"that's not it, is it? you missed something"

"e-excuse me?" what the fuck is wrong with this guy?

"tell me i'm handsome" gojo looks into your eyes. his piercing gaze makes you freeze in place. his face is too close to yours, you feel even more embarrassed to know he can see you blushing.

"t-that's not very appro-"

"oh come on! i know you want to say it" he smiles.

hypocrite.

you are a hypocrite. if this was any other person, you would have been scared shitless. yet here you are; heart beating fast, empty minded, an uncomfortable wetness growing stronger.

the sexual tension is so strong. you feel nervous, whatever you say will break the tension or make it reach its breaking point. and you don't know which one you prefer.

you stay silent.

gojo looks into your big eyes, face so close that you wonder if he'll kiss you anytime soon.

"if you're not gonna admit, i'll help you with it" he steps back. "sit on the desk" he orders, voice dark and strong. you stand in disbelief. gojo walks over to his desk while slowly taking off his watch. "you comin' or not?"

you walk over to his desk and sit obediently. your legs are closed, your nervousness can be read from your posture.

"don't be shy, you're in good hands" gojo suddenly kneels and places his palms on your knees. he looks up at you with puppy eyes. "may i?"

you bite the inside of your cheeks and nod. you unbutton your pants and rest your palms next to you. satoru grabs the hem of your baggy jeans. you lift yourself as satoru easily takes your jeans off. your baby pink, cotton panties are exposed in a comical way. satoru laughs at the contrast; your heavy and dark makeup, resting bitch face, and all black clothes hide pretty pink underwear under it. and satoru feels like one hell of a lucky man to be able to witness this.

satoru slides his hand in between your legs and lightly separates them, exposing your sopping panties. satoru's delighted to see you as excited as him. after all, you seemed scared at first.

his soft, juicy lips lay soft kisses all across your plump skin as he makes his way up to your panties. his demeanor suddenly changes, and he rips your panties beastly. one hand lowers your body further to reveal your folds better. satoru doesn't wait another second.

gojo licks your folds, all the way from your hole to cilit. his tongue masterfully dances around the delicate skin, and runs around your clit. your shy moans fill the office room. you cherish the view below you. his broad shoulders are about to rip through his expensive shirt, white hair buried between your legs, long fingers gripping your legs firmly. he plants a firm kiss on top of your clit that makes you shiver. he sucks on the delicate skin and leaves it with a tiny plop sound. he continues untill you're a moaning mess. and god, you hate to admit this, but she was right. he knows how to fuck good.

"gosh, do you do this to all of your students?" the sudden adrenaline rush takes over you, but the embarrassment follows quickly after. for a second, you're scared he'll get mad and stop, but he doesn't.

"i don't. but don't think you'll be my favorite student after this or something" he looks at you with half lidded eyes.

his warm tongue fucks your wet hole until you feel weak in your knees. you wonder how good his cock feels if he can entertain you this much with his tongue. his tongue pushes inside your hole, letting your sweet juices roll down to his throat. he's so amused at how much you're enjoying yourself, it makes his excitement only grow harder. in a few seconds, he'll fuck you till you can't walk out his office.

"s-sir!" you squirm with his touch.

"yes?" he looks up in a mischievious manner and makes gesture at you, as if you were raising a hand to speak. you roll your head back and laugh before grabbing his hair and pushing him back in.

satoru lays a flat tongue on your clit. the pressure is enough to make your legs twitch. he holds himself there for a moment, waiting for your to beg for more. and you do, you really do.

satoru runs his tongue up and down on your clit, making the pointy tip of his tongue push the skin further as he runs his tongue back up with each lap. the pointy tip draws circles around your clit, around and around. god, he feels so good. he might even cum if he continues more. it's the first time he's ever felt so good giving head to someone. your helpless little squeaks, your shy face and confident hand buried in his hair...

knock knock

you quickly turn around to face the door

"professor gojo? i brought the books" a male voice calls. "can i come in?"

gojo gets up with a sinical smirk on his face, and gently pushes you by your back down.

"give me a second!" he shouts at the door as he takes off his belt and lays it under the desk. he sits down on his chair and calls you down with his two fingers. you instantly obey, kneeling down to his knee level. gojo pushes his chair further under the desk so that you can't be seen. you quickly unbutton his jeans before gojo calls the man inside.

you grab the hem of his underwear and push it down to expose his hard cock. it's dark, your view is limited, but you make the best of it. you hear footsteps get closer, so you hold your breath. you hesitate, you're terrified of getting caught.

"so, about tomorrow's meeting..." a faint voice fills your surroundings. your heart beats fast, and your hands shakily grab his tip.

gojo's surprised at this hesitation. maybe you really do need some help after all. he pretends to listen to what the man is yammering away about. he sneaks his hand down to table and cautiously pushes your head to mouth his length. the sudden push startles you, but it gives you the push you needed.

once gojo's palm leaves your head, you start slowly taking in his dick. you hear him exhale casually, before he responds to the man. he's big, so it takes you a while to fully take him inside. you pull your head back, and lick along his cock.

"...so i figured we would go with another plan..." gojo continues. once you swirl your tongue around his tip, licking the thick precum, finally getting a taste of him. you hear his voice shake for a second. satoru pretends to cough. he must be sensitive on his tip, you figure, and focus on teasing his tip.

you start rubbing his length where your mouth can't reach. every time you release his cock, you quickly swirly your tongue on his tip so that he shakes slightly, making him shift in his chair to not expose your affair to the clueless man. you repeat: suck, pump, release, twirl. suck, pump, release, twi-

satoru spasms on his chair once again as your tongue touches his tip. you think he's cumming for a moment, but those thoughts disappear once you feel a strong hand grab you by your hair, pulling you away from his cock.

"see you tomorrow, satoru" the man says before he leaves the room. with the door closing, satoru pulls back. in a moment, you find yourself picked up like a cat and sat on the table.

"you think you're funny?" gojo growls. "teasing me like that? in front of my colleague?" his eyebrows are furrowed and jaw is clenched. he looks terrifying.

"i-i thought you wanted me to-"

"getting spoiled, hm? do you need to be disciplined?" it's almost as if gojo was searching for a reason to be mad at you, to fuck you like you mean nothing to him.

before you could respond, gojo discards your crop top and leaves you bare chested and cold. satoru can't decide whether the twitching of his dick is caused by the shock of you not wearing a bra to meet your professor or how arousing your perky, plump tits look in front of him. whatever it is, it's enough to make his beasty look go darker.

gojo hisses with what feels like frustration. he wants you, he wants you now, and he cannot waste another second. in a moment, you're pressed down onto the desk, on your chest with two strong hands pulling your ass up high. the wooden desk is warm, yet the hotness of your body combined with the cooler desk makes your body shiver. it doesn't help that gojo's teasing your entrance with his tip either. you whine under his touch, signaling him to go further in. he's amused at your neediness. you want to use your words, but you end up only being able to whine and groan. it's cute, adorable. satoru wonders how you'd be once he's done with you.

"what should i do?" gojo teases. he places his tip in your entrance, only for your hole to stretch enough to take the head in. the feeling is overwhelming even now, and you know it will hurt once he fully inserts himself.

well, they don't say curiosity kills the cat for no reason.

"p-please, f-fuck..." you whisper, tears pooling in your eyes slowly as frustration and tension grow bigger.

"hm? what was that?" gojo leans in closer to your face, making his cock enter a little more. you whimper with the new feeling. it's more painful, yet somehow very intimate.

"p-please..." you quietly respond again.

"we talked this through. speak up, don't be shy!"

you squeeze the papers scattered on the table, trying to from words, but your mind is blank.

"embarrassed? if it helps, princess, no one can hear you" gojo whispers. the irony. gojo satoru, the nonchalant extrovert that warns you in a craven tone; and you, the shy, anxious little girl, soon screaming your lungs out, begging him to fuck you.

"god, just fuck me!" you scream. it's the start gojo needed, and finally, he can unleash himself into you.

gojo slides his length inside without waiting for you to adjust to him fully. your walls stretch and shrink within a second, as he pulls himself almost completely before entering himself fully once again. your wet hole takes him fully, squeezing every inch of his thick cock. your walm, velvety walls make gojo dizzy with pleasure. his voice switches from manly groans to helpless whimpers. and you, gosh, you're a complete mess. your hair falls over your face, but you're too busy getting railed into oblivion to pick it up. you helplessly grab the edges of the desk in an attempt to gather yourself, but it's no use. the only thing you can do is scream out his name, the only thing you can think of.

"fuck..." gojo hisses into your ear. he grabs a fistful of your hair, finally opening your face. he grabs you closer to his chest and holds you in position by your throat as he uses his other hand to help you catch the rhythm of his thrusts. your back instantly arches, and you need to hold on to his tighs to not fall off. you gasp for breath as he mercilessly pounds into you behind your back. the slapping sounds are too far away from you. your vision gets blurry. it feels good, it shouldn't feel good, but it does. he moves as if he wants to hurt you, to take revenge. he's ruthless, contrary to how softly he kissed your cunt and how sweet he called your name earlier.

"yeah? feels good, hm?" gojo turns your face to his. your wet eyelashes, red cheeks wet with tears, mouth shiny with saliva... what a view he had. and him; his white hair always perfectly in place is now all over his forehead, sweat glistening his long neck, and tight muscles showing under the thin fabric of his shirt. and his eyes... his eyes screaming wildly, violently; yet his gaze is soft and caring. gojo realizes too, as he loosens his grip on your neck, and slows down his tempo. you inhale, cheeks puffed up and head slightly tilted back. gojo takes advantage of the vulnerability of the moment. satoru's soft lips lock with yours in a passionate kiss. he holds your chin in place, and you help him by grabbing his wrist. his tongue dances over yours, and all over your lips. wetness covers your lips. it's messy, you both miss your lips as satoru continues thrusting, but it's more romantic this way. you're both craving each other, something neither of you had realized before this exact moment. your heart beats even faster for a second, as you want to be like this forever. even with his most violent desire, he's so caring and romantic. you know it's all meaningless, that none of these matter, and that your affair will meet its end once he decides he's had enough. so you want to be in this moment forever.

"don't stop" you breathe in his mouth and look into his eyes. satoru's cock twitches inside you, his pace slows down. he slips himself out. did you say something wrong? did he realize what he's doing?

you look at him, confused. satoru's face is impossible to read, he just stands there looking at you. the sudden silence makes you anxious once again. you back up and hit your leg into the desk.

satoru grabs you by your leg as you almost lose your balance. he gently pushes you down by your shoulders and sits you down. he lowers his body before grabbing your knees and making you wrap them around his hips. he unbuttons his shirt but doesn't take it off. his toned abs are finally exposed. you examine every curve on his body, his chest.

satoru locks his lips with yours again. he's softer now. it's like he's known you since forever, like his tongue knows how it's supposed to move inside your mouth. this time, you don't shiver, but a warmness follows down your spine. you cusp his cheek as you deepen the kiss.

there you are, warm light framing your bodies under the sunset, bodies locked. where you end is where satoru begins. your bodies move in harmony. he gently rolls his hips into you, and you lift your hips to meet his. not leaving each others' embrace for a second. what happened so suddenly? is this the beast you were so scared of?

"yes... yes..." you moan into his mouth.

"yeah? you like it, baby?" he asks with a soft voice. you move your head and bury it into his neck. you grab his broad shoulders under his shirt tightly, making sure you're gentle. but you can't help it, you're about to snap. you dig your nails into his skin. he pants and moans into your ear. his voice gets shaky, he sounds so pathetically needy. you realize he needs you as much as you need him.

satoru holds you closer to his chest and embraces you as he fucks through your climax. his steady pace strengthens the tightness down your abdomen. you feel the tingling travel all over your body, as you beg satoru to continue.

"you close, baby? want me to finish inside you, hm?" he asks with a raspy voice. he already knows the answer.

"sa-satoru..." you breathe into his skin.

"look into my eyes" he calls your name. "fuck, look at my eyes"

you tilt your head and meet his glassy, baby blue eyes. he looks so vulnerable in this moment. satoru kisses you once more before he rests his forehead onto yours. his steady pace doesn't change, as you both wait to reach the end.

the knot inside your body tightens and tightens, until it's impossible to stand it. your body spasms under him, and you can only call out his name.

"satoru!" you squirm, not leaving his touch for a second.

"come on baby, cum for me" he pants. "my pretty little girl, you're doing so good"

you let out one last shaky breath and lose control. you shake and spasm, but satoru holds you tightly in place. he rides your climax, as he chases his own. he plants soft kisses all over your face as you lose your mind. your whole body's tingly, mind fuzzy, and numb. you stay there, watching satoru's breath get faster.

you grab both of his cheeks and look into his eyes. you don't look away or move, you hold him in place. his shiny eyes look into yours, amazed at how beautiful you are, how pretty you are for him. and how you're his, in this moment, he's yours.

satoru moves hips further once more before his thrusts stop. his moves come to a full stop. he doesn't avert his gaze, as he slaps his hips into you once more. the warmness washes over you as he empties himself deep inside you. satoru whispers your name, followed by a shaky moan. he stands still for a second, lets his cock rest inside you for a moment as you both stand in silent. he's lost in your embrace, and so are you.

all your anxieties from earlier wash away. he's right, he definitely made sure you like him. and all the papers you ruined, the ones he's supposed to show his students, he will have to think about later.

"you really are very handsome"

gojo's comeback might have taken shorter than mine, but hey, better late than never right? lol anyways, sorry for the long wait and sorry, this isn't the unboxing smut. i suddenly felt the urge to write another jjk teacher/student fic but it's a little more legal now at least. i'm also obsessed with gojo again. hope you enjoyed your meal! (ok but why do my snopsises lowkey eat harder than the fic itself)

this was... easier than i thought it would be. i missed writing so much and haven't felt this much fun and ease writing anything in such a long time! i'm so excited for jjk season 2 and the manga's progress. i think this is another jjk summer yall. also, i'm doing an unofficial internship this summer! so, since i like being active when i'm busy with daily life stuff, who knows, i might become active again

hope you guys liked it! see you next time you horny emo slut ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ

[lumi-nescentt]

And When I Break It's In A Million Pieces

Pairing: Oscar Piastri x Reader

Warnings: kinda angsty, reader overworking herself, arguing and someone fainting

Words: 3.8k

Summary: Oscar can understand how important exams are to his girlfriend but he can't stand to see her overworking herself and this close to breaking down without trying to comfort her.

A/N: it was supposed to be a cute oscar one shot but I guess midterms kicked my ass so I had to make Oscar do what I would have loved someone to do for me.

Now that I'm done writing this I'll start on the requests :)

Oscar had been away on the last triple header of the season and as much as he loved racing and how good the car felt lately, he missed his girlfriend and couldn't wait to see her again.

She usually came with him as often as she could, but she had been drowning in homework lately so she had chosen to stay home and work a little extra to make sure she stayed up to date. Oscar didn’t mind, or at least he tried not to show it because he knew how bad she already felt for missing some of his best results in F1. 

The Australian knew how hard the girl was on herself and how she tended to forget to take care of herself when she got engrossed in her studies so he thought coming back as early as possible from the British Grand Prix was the best thing he could do. 

Flying from London to Melbourne felt like one of the longest trips Oscar ever had to endure and it was only worse because he was all alone. Usually he either had Lando, Logan or his girlfriend to entertain him during layovers and on the flight itself, but now as he sat on the first plane taking him from London to Qatar, Oscar felt bored to death.

He had chosen the earliest flight possible on Monday and that had been one that took off at 3pm so he wasn’t even tired enough to sleep. He had already watched a movie while waiting in front of the gate so he was honestly starting to run out of ideas on how to entertain himself. 

He considered paying for wifi access to try and chat with his girlfriend for a second but then realised that he had decided to plan his comeback in secret so she had no idea he was coming back. In the end, Oscar still paid for it just so he could play 8 ball with Logan and joke around with Lando. 

His two friends entertained him for a few hours, but when he landed in Qatar, they both had stuff to do so he was left all alone again. He had nothing to do during the layover in Dubai, so walking around the entire terminal at the slowest pace possible seemed like a good enough idea for the 2 hours he had to wait before boarding again. 

To say the 13 hours flight to Melbourne had been long was an understatement. It had only been made worse since he couldn’t sleep, so Oscar had watched the entirety of the Lord of the Rings trilogy and still had found time to be bored once he was done. By the time he finally arrived in front of the apartment he shared with his girlfriend, it was almost 1am and he hadn’t slept in 30 hours now. 

All he wanted to do was crash on his bed and cuddle against her but when he opened the door as quietly as he could, the first thing he saw was his girlfriend sitting on a barstool, hunched over her laptop on the counter. She had her headphones on and the volume was so loud Oscar could hear the song playing very clearly from where he was standing in the doorway.

After taking off his shoes and dropping his suitcase in a corner, he slowly made his way over, trying his best not to startle the girl. She was so engrossed in whatever she was reading that even with Oscar standing right next to her, her focus was still on her computer. She only flinched and snapped back to reality when Oscar delicately removed her headphones and put them next to her now empty coffee cup.

-“ Oscar ? What– How ? You were supposed to stay in Europe until the break.” she stuttered, too tired to understand how her boyfriend was standing in front of her

-“ Surprise !” Oscar smiled softly as he wrapped his arms around her waist. “ I missed you too much to wait an entire month so I decided to come spend the week here.” 

-“ I don't know what to say, wow.” 

-“ Oh God, was it a bad idea ? I don’t want to intrude if you had plans, baby. I can ask my parents if I can stay at theirs instead if you want me out of your hair while you study.” 

-“ No no, it’s a good surprise, I just didn’t expect it, that’s all. It’s our flat so of course I want you to stay with me.” she quickly clarified, burying her head in the crook of his neck and tightening her arms around him

-“ Ok good, I got scared I was bothering you for a second.” he answered, placing a soft kiss on the top of her head

-“ Don’t say that Osc, you could never bother me. I’m always happy to see your pretty face in real life.” 

-“ So you think I’m pretty ?” the Australian asked with a proud grin

-“ Of course I do, pretty boy. Now as much as I’d love to keep this lovely flirting going, you must be exhausted so why don’t you get ready for bed and I’ll join you in a bit ?” 

-“ That sounds great, I’ll go shower and then we can cuddle because I can definitely feel the drop of temperature between here and the UK.” 

-“ It’s not even that cold but I won’t say no to that.” she smiled before turning back to her homework.

Oscar didn’t really know how long he stayed under the warm spray of the shower but judging by the amount of steam that was now filling the bathroom, he assumed he stayed for a little while. Since he took his time, he fully expected to find his girlfriend dozing off under the covers but when he reached the bedroom, the bed was still untouched. 

Gathering the remaining energy he had, Oscar dragged himself to the kitchen where she was still in the position he left her in. Her headphones were back on at a lower volume and she was now frowning and holding her head between her hands, seemingly trying to make sense of what she was reading. 

-“ Are you coming to bed soon ?” Oscar asked seeing the time on her laptop 

-“ Yeah, of course. Just give me a minute, I’ll meet you there.” she answered without looking at him

-“ Baby, it’s almost 3am. You need to sleep as much as I do.” 

-“ I know, I’m coming. Don’t wait up, you must be knackered.” she tried, squeezing the hand he had put on her shoulder to reassure him

-“ I want to sleep next to you. I’ll wait for you to finish what you’re doing. How long is this going to take you ?” 

-“ I don’t know, you shouldn’t stay awake for me. I promise I’ll cuddle you as soon as I’m in bed, you won’t even realise I’m not here at first.” 

-“ That’s not true, I always notice so will you come ? Please ?” 

-“ You’re lucky you’re cute and that I love you because I really need to finish this paper.” she finally caved in with a sigh, closing her laptop to face her boyfriend who was sleepily smiling at her

-“ I love you too, now come. I can tell you’re exhausted too.” 

Oscar linked their hands together and walked towards their bedroom, handing her one of his shirts as he stripped down to his boxer before hurriedly getting under the covers. At the sight of her cold boyfriend all cosy under the blankets, the girl couldn’t help but chuckle before she joined him and let him wrap his arms around her, resting her head against his chest and falling asleep to the comforting sound of his steady heartbeat. 

When Oscar woke up at 7am a few hours later, he brought his arm closer to the rest of his body, hoping to steal some of his girlfriend’s body warmth but his arm closed on nothing. With his eyes still closed, he patted her side of the bed, simply thinking she had rolled away from him but all he touched were the empty bed sheets. He would have assumed she had just gone to the bathroom if it wasn’t from how cold her side was. 

As hard as he wanted to tell her to come back to bed, Oscar wasn’t fully awake and he didn’t really think there was something he could do so he let himself fall back asleep for a few hours. When he opened his eyes again, finally feeling rested enough to figure out where she had gone, he was still alone in their empty bed. 

He made his way to the living room, secretly hoping she’d be all curled up on the sofa and had only moved there because he was snoring too loud but it was just as empty as their bed. Not liking where he thought this was going, Oscar went to the kitchen where his girlfriend was exactly in the same position he had found her hours earlier. 

Without saying a word, Oscar wrapped his arms around her from behind and nuzzled his face in her neck like he knew she liked. When the only acknowledgement he got was a low hum without even a smile or a look towards him, he decided to try something else. He slowly turned his head and started kissing her neck tenderly, which always got her attention usually because she was never one to pass on getting some physical affection from him. He was so sure it was going to work that when she finally breathed in before talking, Oscar couldn’t stop the smile creeping on his face.

-“ Not now baby, please.” she brushed him off softly, without even looking at him

-“ Oh, okay. Sorry.” Oscar muttered, feeling his face flush from a wave of embarrassment he couldn’t stop

He quickly escaped to the opposite corner of the kitchen, getting busy with making breakfast to forget about the uneasy feeling coursing through his veins. It took him 15 minutes of meddling around before everything was ready and before he was ready to try to get her attention again.

This time, Oscar planted himself next to his girlfriend and put a coffee cup and a full plate with eggs and toast right next to her laptop before poking her shoulder with his finger to get her full attention.

-“ Hello there, I made you breakfast.” he half smiled

-“ Hi baby, that’s really sweet of you. Thank you.” she returned the smile, cupping his face with her hands before planting a soft kiss on his lips and turning back towards her homework

-“ I was wondering if you wanted to have breakfast together in the living room, maybe ?”

-“ I’m sorry Osc. I really need to study but don’t let me stop you, I know you love to eat there.” 

-“ Yeah, sure.” he started out loud before mumbling to himself as he exited the room “I don’t know what I was expecting.”

After his very lonely breakfast in front of a TV show he didn’t even want to watch, Oscar popped his head into the kitchen to see if she was done working. When he saw that she was still very focused on what she was doing, he decided to do something to occupy himself until she was finally free. He got dressed and yelled that he was going for a run before finally going outside. 

When he came back a little less than an hour later, Oscar was determined to spend some time with her so he hurriedly went to the bathroom to shower before eventually stealing her away from her homework. 

Once he was finally done, it was time for lunch and he was feeling like ordering so, while still looking at his phone, he went towards the kitchen and called her.

-“ I’m gonna order food, what do you feel like eating ?”

He waited a little bit for an answer but nothing came back so he walked a little closer and tried again.

-“ Baby ? Are you not hungry ?” 

Getting worried from the clear silence he was met with, Oscar walked in the kitchen but, to his surprise, he couldn’t see her.

-“ y/n ? If this is a joke, it’s not that funny. Where are you ?” he asked, feeling his heart beat a little faster

He knew she hadn’t gone out because both her keys and her car were still there so he went around the counter to go look into the laundry room when his eyes fell on something on the floor. Seeing his girlfriend laying down on the floor made his blood rush fast in his veins and he immediately kneeled down next to her and wrapped her hand in his.

-“ y/n, baby can you hear me ?” he tried again “ I’m going to put your feet on my lap, okay ? I’m not letting go of your hand, if you hear me just squeeze it.” Oscar explained, praying that he’d feel her grip tighten around his fingers

He felt the faintest squeeze but he wasn’t sure if he had imagined it or not so he tried again.

-“ Can you squeeze my hand again, please ?” he asked, voice barely above a whisper from how scared he was until he felt a clear squeeze “ Atta girl, you’re doing great.” 

Oscar felt his breathing slowly go back to normal as his girlfriend slowly gained back consciousness. He was still a bit shaken up but seeing her eyes fluttering open and feeling the constant squeezes of her hand on his was reassuring him. He waited a little more before asking her questions, not wanting to overwhelm her.

-“ Do you remember what happened ?” 

-“ I don’t know, I was just standing up to get another coffee and then I started feeling dizzy so I tried to call you but I don’t know if anything came out.” 

-“ Ok well at least you remember, you scared me to death there sweetheart.” 

-“ I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” she apologised, mortified that he had seen her like this

-“ Hey, none of that. Don’t apologise, I’m glad I came back in time to find you. I would’ve hated for you to be all alone here when you fainted.” he reassured her, bringing her closer to him

-“ What do you mean came back ? When did you go out ?” 

-“ I told you I was going for a run but I guess you were so focused on what you were doing you didn’t hear me. Next time I’ll make sure that you hear me.” 

-“ It’s fine, you don’t have to.” 

-“ I know but I want to. Now let’s get you something to eat, you didn’t even eat breakfast so you must be starving.” he stated, pointing at the plate he had made her a few hours earlier, still untouched on the counter

-“ I’m not really hungry actually.” she whispered, looking at her feet

- “ You have to eat something baby. I’ll just order something from your favourite restaurant and you can just eat however much you can, does that sound good ?”

-“ Yeah sure, thank you Osc.”

Oscar didn’t answer and instead just placed a kiss on the side of her head before standing up and picking his phone that he had left on the counter to get the food. While they waited for it to arrive, Oscar sent her to shower so she could relax a little before eating. Before leaving her be, he convinced her to let the door slightly open so she could yell if she felt dizzy again so he could also relax.

He always stayed within earshots of the bathroom as he got busy around the flat until the delivery guy arrived. Oscar wanted it to be quick but the guy recognised him and wanted to take a picture with him. Oscar wouldn’t have minded the picture if the guy also didn’t seem to want to become his friend and didn’t talk for what felt like ages. Oscar didn’t know how to make him stop without sounding rude so he just waited until he was finally done before hurrying back to his girlfriend. 

He expected her to either still be in the shower or to be waiting for him in the living room, resting like they had talked about after she fainted but she was the most stubborn person Oscar knew. That’s why he wasn’t exactly surprised when he found her back to her studying spot with her headphones only wearing one of his mclaren hoodies. 

-“ I thought we said no more studying for today ?” Oscar scolded her gently

-“ I know but I can’t just stop like that. I need to finish this part and then I can rest for a few hours.”

-“ Baby you fainted, that means your body is exhausted and you shouldn’t put yourself through this.” 

-“ I don’t have a choice, Oscar. The exam is coming up and I need to finish this paper too. I can’t just decide to take the day off because my stupid body decided to betray me.” she spat in one breath, feeling her heartbeat quicken just thinking of the ton of stuff she still had to do 

-“ Alright, just breathe please. You can definitely afford to rest for today. I know you and I know you’re capable of doing what you have left before the due date. Just come lie down with me for a bit while we eat.” 

-“ You don’t know that for sure. I can’t afford to take such a risk.” 

-“ Baby, please.” he pleaded, feeling how she was getting more worked up by the second

-“ I said no, Oscar !” she said through gritted teeth, trying not to raise her voice 

-“ Why can’t you just slow down for a second ? What’s the worst that can happen if you let go a little.”

-“ Slow down ? That’s rich coming from you mister always running around the entire globe to drive at 300kph.” she cringed at how high pitched her voice was getting

-“ You know that’s not what I meant, y/n.” 

-“ Then what did you mean because I clearly don’t get why you’re getting in my way here.” 

-“ I only meant that you’re going to tire yourself out over some homework and that it can’t be healthy.”

-“  I’m sorry ? Some homework ?!” she scoffed loudly “ This is the last class I need to have my diploma, if I fail it, I can say goodbye to my dream job. Don’t belittle what I do because you don’t understand it.” 

-“ That’s not how I meant it, y/n. I’m just worried about you.”

-“ I didn’t ask you to be, in fact I didn’t even ask you to be here. You were supposed to be away doing your stupid job while I was here studying on my own but no you just had to come back and tempt me with ideas of relaxing and hanging out with you when you know I can’t. I can’t just decide to go away and take a break because I miss my partner. Some of us have real jobs and they can’t run away whenever they want to, Oscar.”  she finally lost it, her eyes filling with tears as she realised what she had said

-“ Wow, hum alright. I think I’m just going to go outside for a bit.” Oscar muttered, grabbing his car keys and turning around as quickly as he could

As soon as she heard the door close, y/n broke down crying in the middle of the room. She hadn’t meant to snap at him, she knew he just cared about her and most of all, she didn’t think anything she said was true.

She knew how hard Oscar had worked to get to where he was now and she was so proud of how far he had come. She loved that he was able to do something he loved as his job and how he always made time in his busy schedule to either fly her to where he was staying or fly back home to see her. 

In all honesty, she had been missing him so much lately and all she wanted to was take a break and seek comfort in his arms but she couldn’t help the anxiety and the guilt that kicked in whenever she stopped studying even for a second. She had been staying up late and waking up at the crack of dawn for a week now, studying as much as she could before she had to attend classes. She barely had time to eat and she couldn’t remember the last time she had a decent meal. 

The mere thought of having hurt Oscar was filling her with guilt and she wished there was something she could do to take it back. She was so tired of feeling like this and right now it felt like she had pushed away the only person she wanted to comfort her. 

When Oscar opened the door half an hour later, he didn’t expect his girlfriend to come running to the door and then stop in her tracks the moment her eyes met his. She tried to open her mouth but tears started falling again and she was struggling to take a full breath. The sight tore Oscar’s hurt and he closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around her, bringing her head against his chest. 

-“ It’s okay, baby. Just let go, I’m here.” he whispered, tracing circles on her back

-“ I’m sorry, Oscar. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean what I said. I–”

-“ I know, it’s okay. It’s already forgotten.”  

-“ It’s not okay. You didn’t deserve to hear that.” she sniffled, looking at him in the eyes “ I love what you do and I’m really happy you’re here. I’m sorry if I made you feel like it wasn’t the case. It’s no excuse but I’m frankly exhausted and you were just at the wrong place at the wrong time.”

-“ Thank you for apologising. It’s forgiven and I promise you I’m not mad or anything.”

-“ You’re sure ?” 

-“ Yes, I wasn’t mad earlier. I was a bit hurt and I knew you needed time to calm down before we could have a discussion so I just went to the store to buy brownies and ice cream.” 

-“ That’s so sweet, Oscar, stop.” she said, feeling her voice shake slightly

-“ I was thinking we could take a proper break and eat in front of a movie. Then if you still want to work, I could help you study and after that we could take a bath ? How does that sound ?” 

-“ I love you so much.”

-“ Is that a yes ?” Oscar teased, smiling as he heard her laugh

-“ Yes it is.” she said, as he grabbed her hand and guided her towards the living room where the food was still waiting for them

-“ y/n ?” 

-“ yes ?” 

-“ I love you too.” 

-“ I know, now come here.” she smiled again, wrapping her arms behind his neck before pulling him down to kiss him properly 

Oscar hadn’t been sure of it at first but coming back home was the best choice he ever made for the both of them. They missed each other too much to wait a whole month to be together when they needed the other’s presence that badly.

[angelisgonnastartchangingurls]

william

"i definitely think it is hard for me, in my head, to compare women to my mother and for them to live up to her," william said.

"well, i think everybody does that."

"do they?"

"i compare men i am dating to my father," annie said.

"and do they live up to him?"

"sometimes," annie said. she found herself thinking of tom. specifically tom's cock. she made a note to sext him after this session. "what was your mom like?"

"a petite little longhaired hippie," he said. "loyal to my dad for 30 years of marriage. stayed home with us, i mean, she literally never had a job in her life other than mother and homemaker."

"sounds nice."

"never drank alcohol, never smoked cigarettes, looked young and healthy well into her late 40s. died in her early 50s of cervical cancer."

"oh, i'm sorry."

"my dad told me they had sex every night. for 30 years. that's over 10,000 times."

"so your dad liked period sex?"

"well," william laughed. "i think he counted blowjobs as sex. and yet he voted for clinton."

annie laughed politely.

"it's funny but as a kid i actually knew when my mom was on her period because it was the only time she wore underwear."

"really?" annie said.

"like i said. hippie. she had a couple of pairs of purple underwear she'd wear around the house for a few days a month, but the rest of the month she was always in little silk robes and little sundresses, or nothing. didn't own a bra."

"so you saw her naked a lot."

"constantly."

"nice hippie bush?"

"bush in the fall and winter. trimmed down to almost nothing in the spring and summer."

"good system."

"my sisters do it too. to this day."

"you see your sisters naked a lot?"

"no, but they joke about it. may 1st rolls around and they're like, time to harvest the bush."

"funny," annie said.

"i definitely did when they were teens, though," he said. "you know, i was like 13, 14, they were 16, 17, and i think they sort of got off on scandalizing me. in a wholesome way."

"how so?"

"they would both flash me. like, in the car, pulling out their pussies. and sometimes i'd be in my room and they'd run in naked and lay in my bed."

"they sound fun."

"they were," he said. "they'd always ask to see my dick, ask how big it was, that kind of thing."

"did you show them?"

"not until i was like 16, you know, by then they weren't really doing it so i became the one who did that kind of thing."

"only fair," annie said.

"yeah." he laughed. "now sometimes when i'm drunk and i get laid i'll like, send them a picture of me getting my dick sucked."

"how do they react?"

"enthusiastically, honestly. like, they're both married. they'll be like, 'I wish I was out late getting railed.'"

"did your mom ever see your dick?" annie asked.

he laughed. "actually yeah. i mean, so you know, when she died i was like, 22. yeah, it was 7 years ago. so like, i guess when i was 21, i was living at home, and she was already sick but still looked normal, still was up to her usual stuff, and she walked in on me jacking off. and she had the best possible reaction, she said, 'oh wow, look at that thing.'"

annie laughed. "was she naked?"

"no, not then." he said wistfully. "she had a dress on."

"you ever ask your sisters for evidence of the bush harvest?" annie asked.

"no, but i should," he said. "maybe i will."

"you should," annie said. "you know, it's late fall, so what does three months of growth look like?"

"good queestion," he said. "what do you do?"

"most of the time I excessively trim," annie said. "and shave my bikini areas."

"sounds like my mom in the summer," he said. he was looking between her legs. annie let them fall open a little. she was wearing a short skirt with panties. he looked. she smiled.

"white panties," he said. "that's really classy."

"i don't know," annie said. "i like your mom's way."

"so take 'em off," he suggested.

annie slipped her panties off and closed her legs quickly. she blushed, voluntarily, as she tossed her panties toward her desk.

"Our time is up for the day," she told him.

he grinned at her and stood up and left, not trying at all to hide his erection.

[chuurroez]

𝗶𝗻 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘄𝗲𝗲𝗻.

'⁀➷ pairing :: anton lee x gn!reader

'⁀➷ genre :: angst

'⁀➷ summary :: you thought that you and your best friend's relationship was more than silly movie marathons, video calls, and gaming sessions, it was a stupid thought, you will always be more than a friend, but less than a lover to him.

'⁀➷ notes :: first fic in a few months! sorry if i chose angst insteadof fluff, 3/5 of the fics in progress are angst LMAO. well, i hope you enjoy reading this fic! took like about an hour and a half on this? i have school tomorrow i should've done my homework but whatever :)

'⁀➷ word count :: 1155

You saw a glimpse of sunlight sneaking through your close curtain from your window, then you realized, you once again cried yourself to sleep again thinking of Anton Lee, the man of your dreams. No, nightmares, being with him every single day and having to contain those stupid butterflies in your stomach every time you eat, play, and hang out with him makes it so frustrating. Why was he like this? Did the gods from above have a grudge against you to send someone like him? Whatever it was, you hated it. You couldn't wait to go home from school after 9 horrifying and lovestruck hours seeing and being with him. You didn't even know why you were so excited to go home, it was worse! Maybe it was the fact you didn't have to see his frustrating but so damn cute smile of his, or you didn't have to see hundreds of girls try and give him letters and chocolates of their own. You didn't care anyways, right? Your relationship would never budge out of the middle between friends and lovers.

As you got ready for school, you thought to yourself, "Just a few more months until we part ways right? I wouldn't have to deal with this cycle again and again?" but you were oh so wrong, the fact that the both of you would part ways for college made your life excruciating. "Whatever", you thought to yourself, "I'll just cherish these last few months with him, i guess!". You got yourself together, said goodbye to your parents, and went outside to see Anton, waiting outside for you. "It's 6:30 in the morning, did this cycle really have to start now?", you told your mind.

"What are you doing here Anton? It's so early and you're like almost always late for school? Is this even the real you? I'm surprised", you told the boy. "You told me you needed help studying for the math test we had? I heard from Hanni that it was 80 items, gosh i hate math.", he replied. "Oh, Hanni. I heard she likes you? It's pretty obvious that she likes you, I mean, she always wants to partner up with you and gives you snacks! The both of you would be good for each other!", you say with regret, why would you say that? It just lessened your chance to be with him, but its not like you had one to begin with. "You are right, but I'm not interested in anyone right now, all I care about is getting my grades up and trying my best to get into Yonsei! It's one of the best universities here in Korea!" , he followed. He really was perfect, caring, handsome, loving, and cares about his grades. No wonder hundreds of girls fell for him, you included. "Well, with how you're doing currently, you'll get in, in no time! Let's go now! We have a math test to review for!", you told him before the both of you walk to school.

.

While on the way to school, Anton asked " What university are you thinking of enrolling in, y/n? You could try out for Yonsei as well! I know we'll both ace the entrance exams!", he said followed by a smile, the smile you hated but loved at the same time. "I could, but I'm thinking of going abroad? I feel like I could show more of my capabilities and talents overseas!" you responded. "I'm proud for you, y/n! I'm glad you're becoming better and better every single day!" Anton complimented, you smiled at him and before you know it, the two of you are already at the gates of the school and head for the school's library.

.

-time skip to after the exams-

.

"That test was actually pretty easy! Don't you think Anton?", you asked him, "It was! I was surprised by how most of the things we reviewed for was actually there, haha!", he says happily. "It's lunch time, right? Let's head to the rooftop? I heard that since it's spring, the trees look absolutely stunning all the way up there!", you invite the boy to which he agrees. On the way up, Hanni bumps into you both, "Oh! Hi Anton, I was just looking for you, and hi y/n!", the girl says, to which the both of you smile and greet her as well but you knew damn well Hanni only looked for the both of you, for Anton. "I was just with Jiwoo and she told me to give this to you!" she announces and gives Anton a heart-shaped box with cookies inside and a letter on top. Hanni says her farewells to the both of you and you reach the rooftop and Anton decides to read the letter. "It was just another confession, I don't know why they won't stop! I already said again and again that I'm a study first type of guy. They just don't get it." the boy speaks, "But the cookies are good, here get some!", the boy adds. The both of you laugh and go back to the classroom just before the bell ran.

.

-time skip again to after classes-

.

Anton decided to walk you home after classes ended, and god did you hate it. You were fine being with him during the day but being with him after classes? You agreed, of course, I mean, what type of bestfriend would you be if you didn't? One the way home, Anton told you, "You know, I really see you more as a friend, you're just that someone I wouldn't mind being with, even if I didn't want to.", you tried your best to hide your blushing face by pretending to look for something in your bag, thankfully it worked. "Same! You're so kind and caring, it's almost hard to hate you if we were enemies." you reply, you hoped the thing you wished for was happening, but you knew that it wouldn't happen, "You're like, the bestest of all bestfriends in the entire world!" the boy tells you, with you saying you feel the same way with the same regretful feeling you felt earlier in the morning coming back again to torment you. You both reached your house and Anton said goodbye to you, you walked in your house feeling like a fool, you fooled yourself into thinking he'd feel the same way as you did. How stupid you were. You got ready to do your homework right after you got home, oh wait, you didn't, you went straight upstairs as you feel tears rolling down your eyes, you inevitably fell down to your bed as another crying session begins, was this your 4th or 5th one? Whatever, all your mind focused on was that you and Anton's relationship will always be glued in the middle, after all, the both of you were more than friends, but less than lovers.

[maximoffswriter]

Is It Over Now?

warnings: idk

pairing: Carol Aird x fem!reader (no pronouns used)

genre: Angst??

summary: She gets distant from you. (Amazing summary, Ik)

disclaimer: ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE, SO PLEASE BARE WITH ME!!

you do NOT have the right/permission to copy, steal, or repost this and claim my work as your own.

≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺

As days went by, she started to slip away. She would always come home late, then leave early. You felt like she wasn't your partner anymore, since you rarely see her.

It felt like she doesn't exist in your life anymore, like you weren't lovers anyone.

One day, you decided to wait for her to come home, she comes home at almost 1 am, you could see tiredness in your eyes.

"Hi, love." You greet her, she looks at you in shock. "Why are you still up?" She ask in an almost angry tone. "I wanted to wait for you." You reasoned. She simply scoffed.

You were hurt, you wanted to spend the night cuddling her, but she had other plans. "What's wrong?" You ask, tearing up. "Nothing." It was cold and distant. "That doesn't seem like nothing." You state.

"It's fine, I'm just tired." She says in that same tone. Your heart was breaking more and more with each second that's passing. "Is there someone else?" That question made her furious, she looked at you with a glare. "Why would you ask that?!" She almost yelled.

Your eyes displayed all the hurt you were experiencing in that moment. You couldn't answer, you barely knew her.. I guess, not answering her question only made her mad, when she grabbed your chin, and slapped you. "Sorry." you mutter. "Yeah, whatever." She spat.

She went upstairs to our room. You heard rustling, then silence.

That night, you decided to stay in the guest bedroom, since you didn't want to bother her. You couldn't sleep, you were tossing and turning in bed, trying your hardest not to start crying. you wanted to cry, but you didn't want her to see me crying.

The next morning,you got up at 4:30, you went to your room, Carol was there, fast asleep. She looked peaceful, like an angel. She moved slightly, and you decided to leave her alone. you took some clothes from the closet, before you went back to the guest bathroom to shower.

you went in, and let the cold water hit my back. Tears were now falling freely on my face. you couldn't feel anything, but hurt.

After the bath, you felt less hurt. It felt freeing for some reason.

you go to your shared bedroom to check on Carol, she was still fast asleep. you checked your phone, it was 6:30, and her work starts at 7:00, so you decided to wake her up.

"Wake up, darling, you'll be late." you say, gently. Her nose scrunched, as she started slowly waking up. "What time is it?" She asked. "6:35 a.m." you said. "What the fuck?! Why didn't you wake me up earlier?!" There it is again, that hateful tone.

"I'm sorry." your voice shrunk, and lost volume. "Fuck." She sighed.

She started to get ready. While she was doing that, you ran downstairs to make her a quick breakfast, and lunch as well.

You made her favourite.

When she came downstairs, you greeted her with a smile. "I made you breakfast." You said, sweetly. "I don't have time for this." You sigh. "Take this with you, please." You hand her the lunch bag. "Yeah, whatever, bye." She grumbled, walking out the door.

You sit there, hurt. Longing for the warmth she used to give, which is now cold.

≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺

a/n: idek what this is, uhm.. I got bored, and yeah. (part two soon)

[crystalitecloudie]

Jellyfish.

■□■□■□■□■

A void. Emptiness.

The silence is peace, at least to you. You drift through the never-ending sea of time and space, idling away. Simply thinking. One can never think enough, no? There are so many things to think of. The abstract, the what-ifs...

But you crave something... more.

You have knowledge not just of this universe, but of infinite other realities. You are an all-knowing being, born from the imaginary.

So, if we are to simply be born and die, what was ever the point of living?

And so, you decide, to do something with your immense and fervent power. To create life, and see the beauty in each and every part of it. Even in the most ugly parts would there be something to admire.

After all, there are no mistakes, only happy accidents.

You start with something rather... simple. From your roots, and your tree of origin, you form something to protect. Without defenses, any life you create would surely fall, and the cycle of life would not continue. It starts as a small, glowing light of gold, but slowly morphs into solid crystals of amber and stability. Though it is quite small and inhuman in size, you send it off to create its own branch to your tree of life.

Not long after, you wonder if your first creation has gotten lonely. And so, you create a second. This one starts as a round, white egg, hatching into something much more human-looking... but still bearing resemblance to reptiles and snakes. The serpent being quickly took its place by the first's side, admiring it almost like a younger sibling admires their elder one.

The serpent made sure that the universe infinitely looped -- that no matter what happened, all beings would eventually die. Even the "Aeons", as they had come to be called by early civilizations, would eventually pass. Eventually, all souls would reincarnate. The world would remain voracious and infinite.

The first inhabitants of the early planets gave names to these Aeons. Qlipoth, the elder, and the Aeon of Preservation. And Oroboros, the younger, and the Aeon of Voracity. Eventually, as more Aeons were born, and Qlipoth continued to build his wall of amber, the title of elder and younger seemed to fade away... and yet, their presence was still widely known and revered.

Above all else, the people adored you. The creator who was merciful enough to have brought them into existence, even if only for a short time.

And so, the infinite space began to be filled with your creations. You watched and silently guided, observing a never-ending play through your vacant gaze.

You continued to drift mindlessly through the sea, spreading your branched further into the void.

■□■□■□■□■

A/N: this is just a silly little drabble I wrote please have it

Also this reblog to one of my other posts kinda gave me the idea that reader would be considered the "Aeon of Aeons" (which I don't really know why I didn't think of before? Guess it just never crossed my mind). So check their reblog I guess

I'm just tired it's 10:30 pm and I can't sleep help

[uselesssomebody]

𝕓𝕣𝕦𝕚𝕤𝕖𝕤 - jake lockley x reader

complete masterlist | mcu masterlist | moon knight masterlist

words || 𝟚𝕜

moon knight spring '24 bingo prompt + progress || 'bruise'

summary || in which jake gets a little jealous

a/n || so excited to be part of this event by @moonknight-events, my board looks so fun! check out their blog for a shit ton of other moon knight content by a bunch of other creators!

➵ ask if you wanna be added to a taglist

➵ heed the warnings in said masterlist, this series is 18+, and inherently dark

➵ send me requests if you have ‘em. enjoy!

warnings || fluff/smutty, but no sex

jake didn't take fares between 5 to 6 p.m.

he'd postpone his break so late, just to ensure he was always on time to pick her up from work. it annoyed him enough that he couldn't also drop her off, but the smattering of kisses that she'd pepper over his nose and lips before he left early for work made up for some - not all - of the worried thoughts he had of her commuting to work on her crowded subway train.

she finished work everyday at 5:00 on the dot, not hesitating with goodbyes and salutations, knowing who was waiting outside her building, just for her.

he stood outside his cab, hand on the passenger door handle to let her when as she usually bounded out of work, a beam on her face when she saw him. he checked the time, a cigarette almost half-smoked between his bare fingers - he wasn't getting his leather gloves ashy.

5:15.

what was taking her so long?

he hated having to wait for his girl: seeing her face after driving around the city - a somewhat lonely profession - was the best part of his day.

he slumped his shoulders, leaning against the car door, as he peered over the dark, but lively street. it was a row of offices, and other people were also clocking out. bored, he watched the gray cloud of smoke from his mouth, trying to distinguish it from the puffs of his warm breath showing up in the chilly air.

5:20.

5:25.

5:30.

he was starting to get concerned.

finally, after an eternity of waiting - see: 35 minutes - his face relaxes when he sees her hurriedly walking out of her work. immediately after, his brow furrows, at the sight of the man following behind her, a big, stupid smile on his face, mouth moving a mile a minute.

she looks up, noticing jake, and her face breaks into a look of pure relief, finally, a pep in her step as she nears her boyfriend. before she can greet him though, the guy behind her grabs her shoulder, whipping her back around.

jake's eyes widen at the little fucker's audacity.

he's saying some bullshit, holding onto her shoulder so can't turn back to jake, and the steam coming out of his ears leads him to only hear:

"... come out for a drink with me... really pretty... love to take you out-"

it's more than enough.

he calls her name, voice stern, but not to her. never to her. she whipped her head around, not turning as she mumbles a weak goodbye to the man, finally completing the short distance to jake.

she kisses his cheek quickly in greeting,before waiting for him to open the door, but he pulls her a little closer by the waist, pressing her body against his.

"let me kiss you properly, mi amor. i haven't seen you all day." her cheeks heat. he literally never does this, waiting to properly express his love after they got home.

"he's still looking?" she guesses, and his lips quirk in a smile, as he presses his lips to her soft, slightly parted ones, revelling in how she sinks into the comfort of his warmth.

"like a kicked puppy." he murmurs into her lips, and she giggles, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth, before pulling away.

"baby, open the door, i'm cold." she whines, and jake obliges her, pulling open the car door so she can sit back against the warm interior and crisp leather that he worked hard to maintain.

she only spares a glance at the other man. he's looking away.

"so, who was that?"

it had taken a couple hours, as well as the both of them reclining to the warmth of the couch - takeout clutched in their hands and a sitcom on the t.v. - for jake to finally ask the question nagging at the back of his mind.

she groans softly, hoping he'd forgotten. a silly wish.

"no one, jake." she murmurs quickly, to his immediate dissatisfaction.

"nuh-uh, amor, you have to give me more than that. he put his hands on you!" he said it like it was some inexcusable crime, and it made her giggle.

"he's just..." she sighs, chewing on her bite, "he's the new guy, y'know?" jake's eyes narrow.

"how long has he-"

"don't ask." she interrupts, knowing he'll be more upset if he found out the new guy's antics had occurred before. jake scowls, and she rolls her eyes, turning in the couch to better face him.

"jake~" she says his name softly, in a sing-song voice, prying the food from his hands and placing them on the coffee table. she cups his cheeks, running her fingers over his hair - messed up by that flat cap he always wore - and the little stubble on his face that he'd begun growing out when she professed she wanted to see him with a beard. she climbs slowly into his lap, guiding his arms to rest on the curve of her hips, "jake?" she finally asks again, as she's settled in.

"yes, mi amor?" his voice is gruff, as he lazily looks up at her. he's not shocked by her movements, happy to have her so close, but is still evidently stingy about the new guy.

"remind me, who did i go home with today?" she asks, rhetorically. jake rolls his eyes as he looks up at her.

"me, amor, but-"

"and who am i most excited to see whenever i leave work?"

"also me, but-"

"and who is the only person who gets to touch every part of me?" her voice drops to a whisper, guiding his warm fingertips under her shirt, to the skin of her midriff.

"me." he breathes out.

"you...?" she prompts.

"only me." satisfied with his answer, she leans down to press a soft kiss to his lips, cupping his scratchy cheeks, and giggling she he squeezes her hips.

"and who do i love?" she whispers, when she breaks away for air.

"i hate when you talk to me like a child." he chides, changing the subject, and it makes her giggle.

"wrong answer, try again." he raises a brow of challenge, before pulling her closer, and then standing up, his palms splayed under and cupping her thighs so he could carry her into their bedroom. she squeaks in shock, clinging onto him, "what're you doing?!"

"showing you why you love me."

falling unceremoniously on the bed, she lets out a small 'oof!', but its cut short by the way his mouth captures hers in a hungry kiss.

"someone's needy," she teases, when he breaks away, but it's cut off my a small moan, as his tongue travels down the length of her jaw, to her neck.

"i'll beat the shit out of him if he touches you again." jake grumbles into her skin.

"are you kidding? he obviously knows i have a boyfriend, he's leaving me alone." jake's head emerges from where he's kissing at her neck.

"hmm..." he looks contemplative, "maybe... he could do with a little reminder."

she's unsure what he's planning, but his devilish grin tips her off that it's going to be an idea she might chastise him for. indeed, it is.

his head sinks back down. finding the flesh of her neck, and rolling it gently between his teeth, before clamping a little harder, and sucking. so enamored by the sensation of the slight pain laved by the tingles of his warm tongue, she doesn't realize what he's doing for a moment.

"jake!" she squeaks when she realizes, "you can't - can't mark me!" his laugh is gruff against her skin.

"why not?" without waiting for an answer, his teeth nip at the skin under her collarbone. she gasps at the feeling, trying to tug at his hair to dissuade him - to no avail.

"oh, baby, it's such a pain in the ass to cover them-"

"then don't." the curt response renders her speechless for a moment, enough time for his teeth to sink into the flesh of her shoulder.

"you want him to see..." he laughs.

"that sure took you a moment, amor." seeing as she doesn't meaningfully try to stop him, he continues his work, teeth sinking into as much of the expanse of her neck and chest as he could reach.

they're blue and purple the next morning. she looked like she'd been attacked by something. her eyes quite literally bugged out of her head at the sight.

groaning, she reaches for her makeup bag. jake peeks his head into the bathroom, immediately taking the bag from her hands.

"jake-?" her brows furrow in confusion, but she's cut off by how his other arm wraps around her waist, looking at her in the mirror to see all the bruises smattered over her skin. she reaches blindly to take back her makeup, but he evades her hands, "jake, i need to do my makeup!" she whines softly, making her laugh and kiss her cheek.

"you're gonna cover them up." she scoffs.

"of course i'm gonna cover them up, i look like i was in an mma fight with a raccoon!" he shakes his head.

"no, you look like you had fantastic, animalistic sex with your boyfriend." she cringes a little, laughing.

"and why do my poor coworkers have to know that?" he deadpans.

"as long as your newbie knows." he murmurs, a little bitter, as a finger goes to trace the bruises.

"are we seriously still on that?" she turns to face him, kissing his cheek, "i thought i told you he's just annoys me a little." she assures.

"oh, trust me, amor. he won't from now on."

he didn't let her put her makeup on - even for her face, not trusting her to not start covering up those beautiful marks. instead, with the time she saved in between waking up and eating breakfast, he pulled her back to bed, kissing over each and every bruise, as their coffee water heated.

"you know i love you, right, jake?" she murmurs softly into his forehead, kissing his hairline.

"of course, mi amor. i love you, too." 'she's being so sweet, isn't she?' he thinks.

"can you tell me where you hid my makeup bag?" he snorts, shushing her with a kiss to the lips.

"fat chance."

he's waiting outside her work again, squishing his cigarette under the toe of his shoes as he sees her walking out. with no fucking newbie chasing after her.

"how was work?" he asks, as she presses her daily greeting kiss on his cheek.

"good." she answered, a big smile on her face, as he slowly opens the passenger door. before she sits down, though, he gestures to her neck and chest.

"show me." he instructs, and she laughs, pulling off her scarf to show that the bruises were still well-pronounced. it makes him smirk, as he nods appreciatively, sitting down.

as he peels away, he glances at her, noticing her happy attitude.

"so, did newbie bother you? should i say 'i told you so'?" he teases, and it makes her a little embarrassed.

"i... no, he didn't bother me." he grins.

"tell me more, come on."

"he... looked horrified, if i'm being honest." she giggles.

"good." his response was curt, but his smug smile spoke 1000 words. as he stopped at a red light, he leans over to peck her lips.

"so, should i say it?" she smiles, indulging him.

"go on."

"i told you so."

[pandenewie]

RULE FIVE: Break A Rule, Break The Contract

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Y/n feels ridiculous.

Niki had given them a strange look when they asked for Gaeul’s number. He gave in rather quickly though, after Y/n pulled out some killer puppy eyes and a promise to buy him ice cream on their next study date.

So now, Y/n finds themself sitting in an unfamiliar coffee shop as they wait for Gaeul to show up. They had asked her to meet up under the guise of getting to know each other a little better but, due to their anxiety, found themself arriving at the cafe almost 30 minutes early. Finally, Gaeul walks into the cafe; a wide smile adorning her face as soon as she spots Y/n.

“I’m so sorry I'm late!” Gaeul exclaims, sitting opposite Y/n. “You're okay. I was actually super early so you're right on time.” Y/n laughs. “Oh thank god. Sunghoon insisted I let him drive so he can practice and I swear, I thought he was going to kill me.” Gaeul says, causing Y/n's eyebrows to furrow. “Sunghoon's here?” They ask. “Yeah, I made him wait in the car, though. He said something about wanting to hang out because Riki is gatekeeping you from the guys but I told him he wasn't invited.” She laughs. “Aww, now I feel bad.” Y/n pouts. “He can come in, I don’t mind.”

Sunghoon practically runs into the cafe when Gaeul sends the text telling him can come. “I told you Y/n wants to hang out with me!” He exclaims, pulling up a chair. “They just felt bad for you.” Gaeul rolls her eyes, smiling affectionately at her boyfriend's teasing. “I just realised I made myself a third wheel.” Y/n laughs, scratching the back of their neck. “You could always invite Riki. We could have a double date.” Sunghoon suggests, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. 

“Well that's actually why I wanted to talk to you Gaeul… and I guess now Sunghoon. It's about Riki.” Y/n says, causing both their faces to fall. “Did something happen?” Gaeul asks. “Not exactly… I just thought since you guys are in a relationship maybe you’d be able to give me some advice on something.” Gaeul looks at Sunghoon, giving him a subtle hint to take things seriously. “I mean… we're basically couple goals so I'm sure we can help.” Sunghoon smiles, his response earning him a jab in the side from Gaeul. The whole interaction causes Y/n to laugh slightly.

“Well, my friends pointed out recently that I might like Niki more than I thought I did. I don’t know if he feels the same way… and I don't know if I really want him too.” Y/n mumbles. Sunghoon goes to respond but gets cut off by Gaeul's hand being placed on his thigh. “Go on.” Gaeul insists. “I’m kinda scared for things to change. And I know that if I tell him how I feel, they will. Even if it's a good change, I don't know if I'm ready.” Y/n sighs before suddenly looking up. 

“How did you guys know you liked each other?” The question causes Gaeul to turn to Sunghoon with a smile. “Even when he was being a total idiot, I thought he was endearing. We could hang out for hours and never get bored and I quickly realised that I didn't want him to leave my side.” She says, her words causing Sunghoon to break out into a wide smile - dimples on show as he looks down at her hand on his thigh.

Y/n can’t help an overwhelming feeling of jealousy consume their body as they take in the way Sunghoon and Gaeul look at each other. They’re cute, Y/n thinks. They want that.

“Do you feel that way about Riki, Y/n?”

The answer gets caught in Y/n’s throat. They do feel that way about him; that’s the problem. Gaeul said those words so casually - as if she weren’t at all scared to share with the world how much she cared about Sunghoon. 

Taking note of Y/n’s silence, Gaeul nudges Sunghoon. “Don’t fuck this up.” She whispers, making him gulp nervously - searching his brain for the best advice to give. “Even if you really like someone, it can be hard to tell if you’re ready for something serious, like a relationship. You’re both young and being scared is normal… but I think you should tell Riki if you’re unsure about something. Talking to him might help you figure out what exactly you’re looking for.” Sunghoon says, smiling proudly when Gaeul gives him a subtle nod.

Y/n takes a moment to process Sunghoon’s mini-speech. From the small amount of time they’ve spent with him in the past, they’d never seen him so serious before. The clear contrast in character helps to ease Y/n’s nerves a little. Surely, if someone like Sunghoon is able to listen to Y/n’s concerns seriously, they must be valid. Right?

“Thanks… sorry for involving you guys in my relationship problems.” Y/n says sheepishly, causing the other two to laugh. “I’d rather you ask us than someone like Heeseung. He broke up with his last girlfriend over Facebook Messenger.” Sunghoon says, attempting to lighten the mood. He can only be serious for so long. “Okay, let’s go order before we start talking about the entire group’s love lives.” Gaeul jokes, pulling Sunghoon by the hand and gesturing Y/n to follow.

Sunghoon's words seem to play on repeat in the back of Y/n's mind. Talking to him might help you figure out what exactly you’re looking for. It's good advice, in theory. If Y/n were a logical person, they might just listen to it… but Y/n is not logical.

Talking to Niki would mean being open and honest with their feelings - something they absolutely do not want to do because, hello, commitment issues. Sorry, Sunghoon. Your good advice is gonna have to go to waste.

“Something's wrong.” Niki comments, snapping Y/n out of their thoughts. They had been so wrapped up in their brain that they forgot Niki was sitting right in front of them. Putting on their best fake smile, Y/n looks up at him. “I'm fine. Just daydreaming… you know me.” Y/n laughs, hoping they are able to convince Niki that everything is completely fine.

Their efforts fall flat as Niki looks at them - his eyes filled with worry. “Y/n, you know you can talk to me, right?” The sincerity in his voice causes Y/n's heartbeat to quicken. God, he’s cute when he’s worried. Shaking away the thought, Y/n abruptly picks up their untouched sandwich. “We don’t have to talk. Like I said, I’m just spacing out. Let’s eat.” Y/n says, going to shove their sandwich into their mouth. Before they can, however, Niki’s hand wraps gently around their wrist - halting all movements.

“Y/n.” He says, voice stern. Sighing, Y/n realises that Niki clearly knows something is up and he's not going to drop this anytime soon. Curse him and his observational self. Mustering up all their courage, Y/n turns to look at Niki - his grip on their wrist loosening when they do so.

“I don’t think we should fake date anymore.”

The words come out of Y/n’s mouth before they can even fully process them. Y/n’s eyes desperately search Niki’s for any sign of emotion - disappointment, relief, anything. Instead, he looks at them blankly before replying: “Okay.”

That’s it? No further questions? No demand for an explanation? Is he just going to let everything end like that?

“You’re not mad?” Y/n asks, nervously. The question causes Niki’s lips to upturn slightly, the subtle smile calming Y/n’s heart just a little. “Of course I’m not mad, Y/n. I can’t force you to be in a fake relationship with me. Besides, this was always going to end eventually, right? I just hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable at all.”

That’s what he’s worried about? Y/n’s freaking out about the constant blurring lines between real and fake, how to live with their growing feelings for him and how to process all of this whilst still convincing the outside world that they’re actually together. Niki was just worried about making Y/n uncomfortable?

“You could never make me uncomfortable.” Y/n states simply, their words causing Niki to sigh with relief. “That’s good.” It falls silent between the two as they both take in the situation. “Well… I guess I’ll see you around?” Niki asks, unsure of what to do next. The two barely saw each other before this whole fake dating thing happened - Y/n was a friend of a friend. Are they supposed to go back to being practically strangers after spending nearly every day together?

Y/n mumbles a quiet yeah, getting up to collect their things without even glancing at Niki. They don’t say anything more as they sling their bag onto their back and they certainly don’t say anything as they turn around and start walking away.

Niki wants to scream. He wants to yell for Y/n not to go; to call them an idiot for even suggesting such a thing. But he would never do that. It’s like he said, he can’t force them into this. Even as his heart feels emptier with each step they take away from him, he can’t protest. This is what Y/n wants.

“What’s up? Aren’t you having lunch with Riki?” Eunchae asks, confused when she spots Y/n approaching the two of them. Y/n goes to respond but the words get caught in their throat, eyes filling with tears. “Oh, babe.” Danielle sighs, immediately pulling Y/n into a hug.

It’s silly; crying over a fake relationship ending. Yet Y/n can’t help the tears from slipping down their cheeks. Was it all just fake to Niki? He agreed to break up like it meant nothing - like Y/n meant nothing.

Meanwhile, Niki also shares what happened with his friends. Although, the reaction is a lot less comforting.

“You’re a fucking idiot.” Sunoo says. “Y/n was probably the best thing to ever happen to you and you’re not even gonna try and fight for them?” Niki is stunned at Sunoo’s words. The two of them weren’t even “dating” for that long - why is everyone looking at him like he’s made the biggest mistake of his life?

“The best thing that ever happened to me? We were together for like 2 months, tops.” Niki laughs, trying to ease the tension in the group. “And even in those two months, we could see how much Y/n changed you.” Sughoon pointed out. “For the better, might I add.” Jungwon chimes in.

Niki looks around at the group, confused. They had never acted this way about any of the other guys' relationships - and those were actually real. Did they like Y/n that much?

“I’m just glad they dumped you and not the other way around.” Jake shrugs. “What? Aren’t you guys supposed to be my friends?” Niki asks, offended. “We are your friends. And as your friends, we are obligated to tell you when you fuck up - like losing Y/n.” Heeseung says. 

Niki feels his blood start to boil. It’s a similar feeling he used to get when they would tease him about being single - the situation eerily similar to the day he made up the whole fake relationship.

“Okay… I was never going to tell you this since it's super embarrassing but you guys are ripping into me anyway… the relationship was fake. Y/n and I never actually dated.”

The group look at their youngest friend sunned - taking in his words. “You really are an idiot.” Jake laughs. “Why the hell would you do that? What is this, a Netflix show?” Niki looks down, embarrassment creeping across his face. “You guys were always teasing me for not being in a relationship and… I don’t know, it made me feel like I was lame compared to you all. So I made the whole thing up to get you guys off my back.” Niki admits, his face burning bright red.

“You’re such a baby.” Heeseung teases, reaching forward to ruffle Niki’s hair. The action brings back memories of all the times he did that to Y/n - it’s strange to be on the receiving end for once. “You know, we would’ve cut back on the teasing if you told us it bothered you.” Jay says, honestly. “I thought you guys would tease me for being a wimp…” Niki mumbles, a small pout on his lips. “We probably would’ve… but it’s better than making up a whole fake relationship!” Jake says. “I can’t believe you convinced Y/n to do all that. It seemed so real.” Sunoo says in awe.

“Wait, does that mean the conversation Y/n had with Gaeul and I was fake too?” Sunghoon asks, suddenly - his question causing the rest of the group to look at him, puzzled. “What conversation?” Niki asks. “The other day, we went to a cafe and Y/n told us how they were scared because they thought they liked you more than you liked them.”

The group falls silent as Sunghoon’s words hang heavy in the air. He looks around the group with confusion, wide eyes and open mouths looking back at him. “Y/n said that?” Niki asks, causing Sunghoon to slowly nod in response. “They were asking Gaeul how she knew she liked me and were talking about how they’re scared for things to change between you two… did they not talk to you about it?” Sunghoon asks, Niki’s eyes widening even further with each word. It looks like they’re about to pop out of his head.

“Obviously they didn’t tell him, you idiot!” Jay says, slapping Sunghoon’s shoulder. “Does that mean Y/n actually likes you?” Sunoo asks, excited. Niki can’t help but shake his head in response. There’s no way Y/n actually likes him… right? They were the one who initiated the “break up” to begin with!

“What else did Y/n talk to you about?” Niki asks, turning to Sunghoon almost desperately. “It was mainly just that… they were wanting advice on how to talk to you about their feelings.” Sunghoon shrugs simply. “And you didn’t find it suspicious?” Niki asks. “Well, at the time, I thought you guys were actually together, so no.” Sunghoon replies, defensively.

“Why wouldn’t you come tell me if you thought my partner was having second thoughts about me?”

“I told Y/n to talk to you themself. I don’t want to involve myself in your relationship dramas!”

“But you’re perfectly happy poking your nose in every other aspect of my relationship.”

“A relationship that was fake, Niki. You’re getting all worked up over something that was never actually real.”

“It was real to me!”

Niki’s words seem to even shock himself, with the ways his eyes widen and dart nervously between each of the other guys. “Okay, I think we all need to just calm down.” Jungwon tries to de-escalate the situation. Niki cuts him off by abruptly standing up. “Where are you going?” Sunoo asks. “I’m going to talk to Y/n.”

The friend group falls silent once again as they watch Niki storm off. Sighing, Jungwon turns to look at Sunghoon - noticing a sly smirk adorning his lips. “You purposely pushed his buttons to get him to admit his feelings, didn’t you?” Jungwon asks, earning a chuckle in response. “Someone had to get those two idiots together.”

This feels like deja vu - the way Niki is currently searching the school grounds for Y/n. A few short months ago, he had done the exact same thing. Only this time, he was looking for Y/n in hopes of asking them to be in a real relationship rather than a fake one.

After checking all their usual classes with no luck, Niki finds himself turning back to the one person he knows he probably shouldn’t… Hong Eunchae.

It’s not the most ideal situation, turning to your ex-girlfriend to help you confess your feelings for one of their best friends. To be fair - the two only dated for 6 days so they’re barely considered exes, but still.

“I don’t want to talk to you, Riki.” Eunchae scowls, her attempt at scarring the male going unsuccessful. “This is important, Chae.” Niki frowns. “You think everything’s important.” Eunchae rolls her eyes. “Yeah, well, I’m telling the truth this time.” Niki says, only earning an eye roll in response as Eunchae attempts to walk away from the situation.

Niki, however, quickly catches up - grabbing her arm and pulling her to an unaccompanied spot in the hallway. “Look, I need you to help me find Y/n.” The question leaves Eunchae puzzled. “Just text them.” She deadpans, earning a sigh from Niki. “You think I haven’t tried that? They’re not responding to me.” He says. “Yeah, I wonder why.” She laughs dryly. “You made Y/n cry, Niki. Have you ever had to deal with a sad Y/n? It’s heartbreaking. And none of this would’ve happened if you hadn’t dragged them into your stupid games and played with their feelings.” Eunchae scolds, her brows furrowed with anger as she rips into Niki.

The thought of Y/n crying causes Niki’s heart to ache - especially with him being the reason why. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to play with Y/n’s feelings, I promise… Look, I really like Y/n. I’m dumb for not realising it sooner but I know now. I want to make things right with them but I need our help… please, Eunchae.” Niki practically begs. Eunchae’s face stays cold as she looks into Niki’s eyes, scanning for any signs of deceit. Sighing, Eunchae grabs her phone to send Y/n a text. “Fine… but only because you guys are really fucking cute.”

“And with that, I’ll leave today’s lesson here. Remember, if you don’t get that research paper done by Monday I will personally track you down.” Mr Yoon jokes, earning a couple of scared laughs from the students. “I’m kidding, I’d lose my teaching licence. Now get out of my classroom.”

As Y/n begins to pack up their books, they are interrupted by the sound of Mr Yoon’s voice. “Y/n, are you able to stay back for a second?” A few students let out playful “oohs” at the thought of Y/n getting in trouble before finally filing out of the classroom.

“Did I do something wrong, Mr Yoon?” Y/n asks, nervously approaching his desk. “On the contrary, Y/n. I actually have something for you.” Mr Yoon says, suspiciously pulling out a piece of paper from the left drawer of his desk and handing it to Y/n. “Your boyfriend found me in the teachers’ lounge and wouldn’t let me finish my coffee in peace until I promised to give this to you. He’s very determined, that boy. Anyway, I won’t keep you any longer.” Mr Yoon finishes before gesturing for Y/n to leave the room.

Once safely outside Mr Yoon’s classroom, Y/n carefully opens the note. There, printed in neat handwriting, is a little note from Niki:

“To Y/n,

I hope this letter gets to you safely through Mr Yoon (and that he doesn’t read it. Mr Yoon, if this is you, please stop now). I know writing letters is kinda lame but in a way, it’s also kinda cute, no? Anyway, I want to talk to you in person about something… please meet me at our spot (the bleachers on the field, if you’ve forgotten).

From Riki <3”

Y/n considers for a moment to just ignore the message. Although, knowing them, they’d probably go home and reread it over and over again like the love-drunk loser they are. Sighing, Y/n starts making their way to the field. Niki did nothing wrong - it was their own fault for reading too into things and getting feelings involved. There’s no need to go around acting like Niki broke their heart when he did so unwillingly. That wouldn’t be fair on him.

“You wanted to talk to me?”

The sudden voice causes Niki to jump slightly, looking to the side to see Y/n standing at the bottom of the bleachers. “You came.” He states the obvious, standing from where he’s sat and making his way towards them. “You went through the effort of stalking my history teacher… I couldn’t just ignore you after that.” Y/n jokes.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” Y/n asks, looking up at Niki. Now, with them standing right in front of him, all of Niki’s practicing goes out the window. He had everything planned - what to say, how to say it. But one look into Y/n’s eyes, shining up at him expectantly and they’re suddenly the only thing occupying his mind.

“Why did you break up with me?” Niki asks, his question causing Y/n’s brows to furrow. “I… what?” Y/n stutters, confused. “You asked Sunghoon and Gaeul for relationship advice because you thought you liked me more than I liked you… so why did you break up with me?” Niki’s voice is quiet, a small frown on his lips as he asks Y/n.

They’re suddenly avoiding eye contact, Y/n’s face flushing a bright red at the sudden question - as well as the exposure of their feelings. “I was scared that you were going to reject me.” Y/n mumbles. “This was all fake for you. If I was honest with my feelings, there was a chance you wouldn’t reciprocate. I would rather deal with the pain of never telling you than the possibility of rejection.” Y/n states simply.

“That’s… really fucking stupid.” Niki’s words cause Y/n’s eyes to shoot up. “Sorry I just… god, Y/n, do you not see the way I look at you? Why do you think everyone believed we were together so easily?” Niki asks. Y/n’s brain is starting to short-circuit, the situation and sudden change in atmosphere giving them whiplash. “Because we’re good actors?” They ask, their answer causing Niki to chuckle. “I wasn’t acting, Y/n. Maybe the label of dating was fake but everything I said and did with you was all real.” Niki says honestly.

Y/n pauses to think for a moment, their lips curved into a slight pout as they take in Niki’s words. “Are you saying… that you like me?” They ask, finally, looking up at Niki with hopeful eyes. The view causes him to smile widely, not resisting the urge to reach down and ruffle Y/n’s hair affectionately for the first time this week (he sets a mental reminder that he’ll have to make up for lost time later on). “Yes, Y/n. I like you… a lot.” The words cause Y/n to break out into an unknowing smile.

It feels like time has stopped as Niki waits for a reply. He doesn’t want to push Y/n - knowing how scared they are, it’s the last thing he’d want to do. But waiting for an answer is slowly killing him, even though only mere seconds have passed.

“I like you too, Riki.” Y/n states, finally. Their words cause an immediate wave of relief to rush over Niki’s body. He wastes no time stepping forward and pulling Y/n into his arms, squeezing them tightly as they giggle against his chest. “Oh my god, I thought you were going to reject me for a second.” He groans, nuzzling his nose into the crown of Y/n’s head. “That would be very stupid of me.” Y/n laughs. “Well, you dumped me instead of talking about your feelings so… wouldn’t be the first stupid thing you’ve done this week.” Niki jokes, yelping in pain when Y/n playfully hits his chest.

The two stand in each other’s arms for much longer than anticipated, relishing in the warmth that radiates off the other’s body. They’re grateful that most other students have gone by now, leaving the field a peaceful haven for just the two of them.

“Does this mean we’re dating for real now?” Y/n asks, peeking their head up to look at Niki. He looks down, eyes temporarily landing on Y/n’s lips before eventually deciding against it. It’s too soon. “Well, I’d be pretty embarrassed if we didn’t. I got your teacher involved and everything.” Niki says. “Boyfriend of the Year.” Y/n laughs, their words causing his heart to flutter. Boyfriend of the Year - take that, Sunghoon.

TAG LIST: @j-wyoung @thesassy-mia @luvistqrzzz @yourmyst4r @heerinnie @odisdad @wzy3ka @mrchweeee @rizzkisworld @beomsbeanie @ablackbtsstan @sweet-kisses-and-bloody-screams @kang-yeosangs-initials @wildflowermooon @k1ttylvr @nikisdubblchococake @luva1y @microwvdstrawb3rri3s @en-happiness @haechansbbg @ashiitex @nuttyenthusiastdaze @coolwitu @schniti-is-in-the-house @wrosie-writes @beomgyusonlywife @ye0nvibezzn @soobiverse @im-yn-suckers @tomomorin @eupherbia @raginghellfire

[callofdudes]

Vampire Simon "Ghost" Riley.

CW: Sexual themes and mild gore.

Featuring ✨GhostSoap✨

Alright, so I've been going through some AU's and I've been wondering about Monster AU's for COD because who doesn't like a monster AU?? And I was thinking about vampire Simon. Apparently i'm not the only one with this idea so I'll put my spin on it here for you guys. I've put a lot more thought into this than I probably should have but hey, whatever.

At first I started making Headcanons for Simon to be your typical bloodsucker vampire which is what I'll stick with. But there are also two other kinds of vampires. One of them I think could really work with Simon as well, so I'll briefly explain that below along with my Headcanons for bloodsucker Simon.

There is a difference between the viral vampire and a psychic vampire. (There are also supernatural vampires which i guess just have different powers??) Psychic vampires don't rely on blood but psychic energy. They don't have to be unalive or immortal but just humans with the ability to draw energy from others to feed themselves. But they are no less dangerous than a blood feasting ones, especially if they cannot control their powers. People say they are born with their abilities so most don't even know they're feeding off of others.

This could work for Simon because Johnny has lots of energy that he can spend and using his families energy would align with the abuse. With these vampires, feeding on the energy of friends and family isn't ideal because you can drain all their energy.

Simon occasionally feeds on Johnny because he can jump back easily the next day from whatever little Simon does take. When Simon comes clean about who he is during their relationship Johnny gives him permission to feed on him whenever he needs, but only him or enemies. Eventually it turns into a little game. During sex Johnny begs Simon to take his energy and after some convincing it turns into this kinky thing. Simon takes Johnny's energy during sex and Johnny loves the feeling. It makes everything feel so much better and that minute shift in his body feels amazing.

Simon is a vampire, which ties into one of the many reasons he was abused and not seen as an equal in his family. Simon is the only vampire, it's a recessive gene but Simon's older brother did not get said gene.

Simon was abused by his father who thought his son's growing abilities to be unfair and being a vampire he needed to "man up" faster.

This is a reason why Simon has very few freedoms as a child. He couldn't go to school since as a young child up into his teen years he slept for a large majority of the day and was up all night. Lenient online classes worked best for him.

Simon was conditioned to animal blood, and although human blood always smelt ten times better, he didn't start to sense the difference until his early teens. But his father would beat and abuse him out of the thought of drinking human blood. Whether he knew this would keep Simon weak and in submission or he was genuinely against hurting anyone outside of his own family (abusive bro) Is debatable.

When Simon signed up for the military he didn't know much about the world around him. He would wear a hoodie under his gear to hide his face and his skull gloves on his hands.

One of the reasons Simon is almost never shown with less than two layers on is because he works out in the sun a lot. His skin is deathly pale underneath. Simon's fangs also grew longer and more notice from 17 to early 30s so the mask Is another additive to that.

Simon didn't classify to anyone in the military that he was a monster. But Simon started to gain attention for the way he could take down enemies. He could kill them with speed and stealth that was probably inhuman for someone his size. But with Simon's ability to teleport and transform, along with his superhuman stamina and durability he made the perfect soldier.

Simon trims his nails frequently, but he doesn't dull the point of his nails, making it easier to tear into flesh. Why would he need this??

When Simon became a soldier he was away from blood for a long time. Considering their meals are limited and they are in no way being served medium rare stake on the dime every night.

When Simon went on his first field mission he was hungry, and after raiding a small campout he'd been stung by the delicious taste of human blood. He'd never had it before. But they were dead anyway, so what was the harm?? Granted they were still fresh bodies. He'd find the bullet wound or sometimes he'd make a different puncture hole and feast. Knees in the dirt draining the fresh bodies of their blood.

And Simon loved it. He could never drink animal blood again after letting his aching fangs sink into the throat of these men.

Rumors started going around that some bodies collected had puncture wounds on their throat or in their wrists, but they could never trace it back.

Now Simon was never cruel. He only drank from the fresh bodies around him. After tasting such blood the different scents around him did make him hungrier, but he went on missions frequent enough that he wouldn't starve to near death.

And he kept this up for a couple years with no problems.

Now you might be asking, what about him sleeping all day!? Well, Simon is an insomniac, that's what normal humans call him. He's up all night either in his room or prowling the grounds . Usually if Simon has enough energy he can walk around during the day. When he has time to spare he'll catch a quick nap, and make up for all the lost energy on the days he gets time off. If he has no recruits to deal with for a while Simon will go to his room and crash. People have rumored about this because once Simon curls up he doesn't wake up until his body permits him to. Which has only occasionally been a problem.

Well when Simon was finally recruited to the 141 he doesn't tell Price (or maybe he does I haven't decided) whether he tells Price or not it doesn't really matter. Simon had enough energy to live when he was in a larger unit, but being in the 141 for specifically very strong soldiers he was fed much more.

And it was only him and Price for a bit until John "Soap" MacTavish and Kyle "Gaz" Garrick joined.

Now this wouldn't have been a problem. Gaz was quiet and stuck by Price's side like Ghost, which Ghost had no problems with. It was Soap he had a problem with.

Soap was loud and bubbly. He was always trying to hang out with Simon which already wasn't really his thing. But Ghost and Soap share a blood type. Now I headcanon that Simon finds people with his own blood type so much more delicious.

Simon wanted to tear out his throat the minute he smelt the scent radiating off the Scotsman. But he only drinks from the freshly dead, that was what he told himself. So he tries to avoid Johnny because every time he's around him his fangs ache and he starts acting up.

But Johnny is always around him and he can't get away. It's when they go to Las Almas that Simon starts to slip.

When the events of the mission "Alone" take place Simon is already out of energy and hungry. Soap is actively bleeding out and Simon doesn't want to risk being around him, so against his better judgement he takes off.

Of course he makes up a half truth excuse for this and brushes it off. He helps Johnny maneuver through the buildings.

When Johnny comes across the soldier with one of Simon's knives in his throat and pulls it out, there is no extra blood splatter. Blood is covering the knife and dried from the wound, but there is no extra blood splatter when the obstruction is removed. Later he comes across another body slumped in the corner. John searches him and finds two puncture marks in his throat by his Adams apple.

And each body he finds has those same puncture marks in different places. He brings this up to Simon who is a little two eager to dismiss it. Simon is just trying to hold himself together because he knows when he is reunited with Johnny he will be bleeding. And he doesn't want to hurt him.

Other things point to this, and for extra points Johnny noticed it all. Keeping tabs of sorts.

Simon can see in the dark better than anyone else so when they get to Alejandro's safehouse he notices Rodolfo's movement before Johnny does.

When Simon removes his mask his lips are an odd reddish hue though his face is pale. Johnny recognizes Simon's odd eye shape, one of the things that sets Simon apart from the others is his oddly slitted pupils. Their sharper than the others. And they contract oddly with the flickering light above them. Johnny also takes in the odd point of Simon's ears.

Again, Johnny keeps a tab on all of this. At first it's just simply because he wants to remember Simon. He wants to know more about the legendary Ghost. And so he can draw him and write on him in his journal. But then things start mysteriously clicking in his brain.

Simon doesn't eat dinner with them. Or food of any kind. Simon goes to his room to eat but Johnny has never seen the man eat any food.

If Captain Price knows what Simon is there is probably a classified freezer for lieutenant or higher members, but that only classifies Simon and Price. Who are the only two who have ever taken a vested interested in the freezer. When Johnny goes snooping it's just a bunch of vacuum sealed white bags with a mysterious liquid in them.

He brings it up to Gaz who doesn't really care and eventually to Price who he mentions it to offhandedly when talking about Ghost. Whether Price knows or not he won't give much thought to it and easily dismisses it.

Simon was always very careful about where he treaded. Considering there were many limitations to being considered soulless. But when on a mission and cutting through a home, Johnny briefly, very briefly looking in a mirror along one of the houses hallways. And it was just him. Simon was right next to him but it was only him in the mirror. Simon had played it off as Johnny's unpredicted adrenaline rush and his eyes playing tricks on him. And Johnny believed him. For a while.

(fill in the blanks a lot for plot duh duh)

When Johnny does come to the conclusion that Simon is infact, a vampire, he doesn't confront the man right away. He waits. And he waits. And he waits. By this point Johnny had already developed feelings for Simon and doesn't want to risk the very real blossoming relationship by confronting him.

If Simon was really a vampire could they love each other??

When Johnny does confront Simon it's when he decides to confess. He knocks on his door at a late hour and Simon is not surprisingly awake. He lets Johnny in and they sit. Johnny pours his heart out to Simon. About their missions and about his growing attraction toward him every single day.

But he doesn't bring up anything about vampires.

Simon is hesitant, on one hand he loves Johnny. On the other he doesn't want to potentially hurt Johnny with the truth of his existence and trying to hide. Because he yearns for Johnny in more than one way.

Simon ultimately reciprocates and they start dating. Johnny's theory is only backed up by Simon not wanting to kiss or to touch. It's odd at first, but it all slowly makes sense.

After a couple months of their relationship Johnny had decided he's done and he's going to kick the can. Late when he's staying in Simon's room and their talking, Johnny lunges for it.

He slides closer on Simon's bed and clutches his mask. Simon rushes to stop him but Johnny is already pulling the mask up, lips settling on Simon's. They're cold and rough. Simon is caught between freaking out and melting.

Johnny pulls Simon in and whispers against his lips "I know." When he pulls away Simon is stunned. Johnny pulls the mask off fully and watches his eyes shift to look at Johnny.

"Do it, bite me. You're probably starving." He pants when they part. After convincing, Simon pulls off Johnny's shirt and traces his fingers over his neck. "Will it hurt??" "I don't know. But hold your breath. I'll try to be gentle."

"You know??" They talk and eventually Johnny convinces Simon to show him his fangs. Their sharp and pearly white. That goes straight to Johnny's dick. He kisses Simon and shoves his tongue in his mouth. Simon moans as Johnny's tongue explores his mouth and glides over his fangs. Johnny can feel them prick into his tongue and draw blood from just the point. It makes Johnny hornier than he expected. He thought he'd be freaked out.

It doesn't hurt. Johnny can feel Simon's cold lips trail over his skin, teasing him and then his fangs trace the skin. The hairs on the back of his neck raise and Simon breaks his skin. It's not painful, it's pleasurable. Johnny isn't ready for the pleasure that blossoms in his stomach and hits him like a thousand kisses over his throat.

Simon latches onto his throat and shudders, finally getting to taste Johnny's blood after so long smelling it and longing. It goes straight to his dick and his body is trembling. Johnny is crying and moaning' clawing Simon's shoulderblades.

Simon could drink until Johnny is cold and silent but he forces himself to pull away. Johnny smashes his mouth onto Simon's and can taste the crimson liquid on his tongue.

Neither expected this to be so erotic but their first time together is better than anything they could have imagined. It turns into this little game. Simon feeds on Johnny at the dead of night before fucking the life out of him. Sometimes it's gentle but most of the time after getting hard at the taste of his blood Simon is feral and wants to have Johnny in every single way.

Johnny teases him about his abilities too. With his shape shifting Johnny will often beg him to turn into a bat, Simon tries to tell Johnny that's a myth until he's caught having a nap in the rafters of the shower/locker room by Johnny. He then starts to beg his boyfriend to be a bat more often because he looks so cute.

Another thing Johnny's notices is how Simon's pupils expand and sharpen. When he's relaxed his pupils will relax and almost soften out, mostly around Johnny or Price. When he's feasting or hunting/on a mission his pupils are sharp slits.

After Johnny finds out Simon does not hesitate with himself around Johnny. He can whisk Johnny away without care for how fast he runs and feast in front of him.

Simon only feels comfortable drinking from Johnny now that he knows his fangs have the opposite effect of pain.

Drinking is not a fast process so if Johnny has a fresh kill and Simon is getting tired he'll guard the entrance of wherever they are for at least ten minutes to give Simon time to replenish himself.

That's all the thoughts I have for now. I don't have anything planned for this out I wanted to write down the ideas I had for a blood sucking Simon who has erotic sex with Johnny- 😂

Apologies for any spelling mistakes!

[afortoru]

𝑩𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝑰 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒀𝒐𝒖

Pairing: Ram x wife!reader

Summary: you always try to remain calm during those days but your husband knows how to pamper you even if you don't show it, but you're not complaining too.

Genre: fluff, periods comfort

Warnings: periods, cramps, slight cursing cause of the pain

Word count: 2.8 k

Notes: this is my first fic and yes I'm so embarassed, it's not proofread so pls pls pls bare with me. Just in the afternoon I was suffering with cramps so i decided to write this and guess what I suffered more...almost had a crisis wondering would i actually finish it today. If you're reading, i lobe you soo much *mwah*.

You felt something uneasy in your sleep as you shuffle in your bed trying to go back to sleep, since you knew it's still too early for you to wake up. No matter what you did, nothing worked atlast waking you up.

You opened your eyes to see the time on the clock hanging right infront of your bed, it was little bit dark you couldn't see exactly what time is it but through your blurry vision you make our that it's 4am.

Sighing you decided to go to the bathroom to check if it's really what you think it is. Before moving out of the bed you eyes drifted towards your husband's sleeping body, oh how peacefully he was sleeping. You didn't even want to turn the lights on now since you know he's already a light sleeper. Ram's tranquilly sleeping,lost in his dream world made you smile a bit forgetting that how annoyed you were that you couldn't sleep anymore now.

Not wanting to disturb your dear husband you made your way towards the bathroom as you pull back your pallu over your shoulders. It was a bit chilly but still a sweet cold sensation was touching your skin, i could've enjoyed this only if i didn't wanted to sleep a bit more, you thought to yourself.

Pushing the bathroom door open you stepped inside, tugged your saree up in your skirt as you closed the door.

"Aah shit, here we go again…why god?", you knew your prayers won't help stop your periods and those nasty cramps. Sighing and mentally preparing yourself for the upcoming 5 days suffering plus doing the household work, it's gonna be one hell of a bloody ride.

You have always tried to stay calm trying to busy yourself with the household work during period. Not wanting to bother anyone but your husband, Ram, he had always told you to rest as he would always try to help you cope with the pain.

You came back to your room. Your were glad to see him still sleeping as you made your way towards the wardrobe to get your pads. It took you another 30 minutes since you also decided to get showered too. 

Now you're standing in front of the mirror getting ready for the day with your wet hair still tied in your red cotton towel, knowing oh so well you gotta survive the nasty cramps still wanting to keep a straight and calm expression.

Normally you could have gone to your Pooja room by now but you can't today so you decided to wake Ram up a bit early so he could do the pooja today but there's still time left for him to wake up so you decided to first to prepare the breakfast.

Entering the kitchen, you started preparing the ingredients.

"Ahh..mmm…fuck this hurts so bad" you shrieked in pain while doing your work. " Oh lord, just a little less pain would help, please….mmm….ufff damn cmon" you sighed as you felt the pain getting a bit less as you continued your work.

It's already 6 am, i should wake him up,you thought to yourself as you made your way towards your the bedroom only to find the bed empty and your husband is nowhere to found. Did he already woke up… you walked towards the bathroom, the lights were on inside and there was a sound of running water. This was enough to let you know he was already awake. 

"You woke up early today?" he said making his way towards you while rubbing his wet hair with a towel. 

You just nod while sitting sitting on the wooden sofa in the drawing room.

"Why, what happened is there something today?" he asks sitting beside you as you shifted away from him leaving him astonished. "Hey what happen-", "I need your favour" you stated cutting him off mid sentence. 

"Will you please to the pooja today?" you asked as he regain his normal expression. "Sure I will, but are you ok, is there anything you wan-", "first do the pooja, you know you can't touch me before the pooja".

He just nodded. Ram was quick to tell that you're on your periods and there's no good for him asking you more questions now. 

As he left to the pooja room, you made your way towards the kitchen to make the tea for the both of you. Your and his taste in tea were coincidentally the same. You liked it with more milk and sugar and Ram seemed like a person who would like a strong tea but he was more towards the way you had your too. Your were truly shocked to know he also likes his tea with more milk and sugar in your early marriage, maybe a little dash of malai (cream). 

You tried to divert your mind but the cramps were hella stubborn. "Aahh..uh shit" you hold on to the kitchen counter as you pressed your lips onto each other to minimise the pain but it didn't help.

"Hey, are you ok?" you felt your husband's hand on your waist on the side which wasn't covered with your saree. You shook your head to no.

"A-are you d-done with p-", he knew what were you about to ask just as he carried you bridal style and start making his way towards the hall. "W-what are you doing? put me down, the tea!" you stated as you now you clutched you hands on his shirt.

"Taking care of my wife and the tea, I'll bring it so you just lay down and let me take care of you", he put you down on the wooden sofa placed in the centre of the hall. He made you lie flat on your face, facing the sofa. 

You felt his hands on your back, massaging smoothly. "Feels good, dear wife?", you hummed as a reply. He knew exactly what makes you feels relaxed at times like this. 

You felt his hands in you your feet as you looked back, "n-not my feet, hey it's fine you don't have to massage under my feet honey" you said showing an expression of uncomfortableness but little did you know he won't listen since he's determined to take care of his wife before leaving for his work. He knew that rubbing under your feet makes you feel good during periods. 

"Don't worry my sweetheart, I know it feels good, isn't it? Plus if you're worrying about me touching your feet than don't cause you're my better half and i don't have any problem doing it" he stated calmly with a smile over his face as his eyes meet with yours telling you to just relax and let him do it.

"The tea, it must be cold by now" you stated as you suddenly remember that you left it in the kitchen since Ram said that he'll bring it later.

"Don't worry, I'll reheat it but first you tell me are you feeling ok now, I'll do massage you more if you want" he asked showing concerned to you.

"I'm fine now, you can you bring the tea now" you affirmed as he nodded and stood up to walk towards the kitchen.

5 minutes later he showed up from the kitchen not just the tea but with the breakfast."Oh god i totally forgot to serve you breakfast,maati maari gai hai meri aaj" you spoke as you palmed your forehead."Hey it's alright, i wasn't hungry anyways and how can I think about food when my has no appetite, huh bec-", "because I'm your other half, i get it Pati dev, now let's just eat cause i don't know about you but I'm hungry" you completed his sentence. 

He chuckled. After few minutes later you realised that it's time for him to leave for the police station. You stood up to take the utensils in the kitchen but then he stopped you and pulled you onto his lap.

"W-what are you doing again, you know you'll get late if-" your stopped talking as you feel him nuzzle his face inti your neck from behind. 

"Don't worry wifey, i won't get late" he stated as you could feel his hot breath on you neck, with this you decided to let this moment sink the both of you. Afterall you also needed him even if you don't show it always. 

Few minutes together before you have to push him away to get ready to leave for work.

"I wish I could stay longer with you but please take care of yourself and you call call me on the office phone if you need anything, ok ?" he stated before giving you a kiss on your forehead.

"Sure my dear husband, I will call you and only you if I need anything" you affirmed him with a gentle smile, "also Pati dev, thankyou so much for the massage, try to come early tonight. I'll miss you" with your statement Ram chuckled a bit. "Ofcourse I will, how can I not accept my beautiful wife's order as an obedient police officer" he assured you before leaving for the police station.

You were smiling at his little joke as you waved him goodbye. 

Entering the house again you checked it's 7 am, so there's another 15 hours for him to return at around 10 pm in the evening and you already miss him.

You sighed as you made your way inside the bedroom, there wasn't much work to do so you decided to take a nap.

Normally you'd cook lunch for him and send it through an office boy or sometimes you'll pay him a visit with the lunch but today Ram banned you to do anything as he said that he'll have the lunch from the police canteen. 

With so many random thoughts about your husband and your future, you never knew when did you fell in a deep slumber. Maybe it's because you wake up early everyday and still have enough strength to stay awake all day but today your body needed rest as it doesn't seem to wake up anytime soon.

You wake up with a loud knock on your main door as you try to make out how much time has passed since you have been sleeping.

"Oh my god! It's almost 5 pm!" your eyes widened realising you have been sleeping for that long. You made your way towards the door hearing the banging."Whoever it is, they are one hella of an impatient person" ,you mumbled to yourself. "Aai baba, darwaja hi tor doge kya" you opened the door to see your favourite brother also Ram's best friend, Bheem.

"Bheem bhaiya! it's you, please come in, kaise aana hua" you scanned his expressions as he looked worried.

"Behen where were you i have been knocking for so long, you got me worried" he stated in concern. 

"Oh my, I'm sorry bhaiya i slept maybe that's why I couldn't-" you were cut off as Bheem placed his hand on your forehead to check your temperature,"behen are you sick, should i take you to the near hospital" he cuts you off, concern over his speech and all over face for you.

"I'm fine bhaiya, no need for going anywhere please come in" you requested."Are you sure you're fine and you have no fever?" he asked in concern. "Haa bhaiya, I'm fine now please come in!" he's been just standing outside the doorstep even you keep requesting him to come in.

"No behna, i can't come in actually Ram bhaiya sent these mogre ka gajra for you. I'm here to just give it to you, that's all" he stated as he handed you a black polythene with the gajra inside. Your eyes widened in surprise "he send this f- for me?" , Bheem nodded with a big smile as a reply. "T- tell him I'm very thankful and i loved it but he should come home early if he wants to see me wear this", bheem chuckled "sure I'll tell bhaiya to come home early to you my little sister". 

He left as he patted your head and waved you a goodbye.

You were about to close the door as you see Bheem running towards your house, "BEHNA! listen i forgot something to tell you!" 

"Oh my god calm down bhaiya, what is it?" you asked 

"Ram bhaiya said you don't have to cook dinner and that he'll bring something tonight for you"

"Oh ok, bhaiya. Is there anything else bhaiya?" you said trying to look calm but internally you were blushing thinking about your husband's way to take care of you.Bheem shook his head as he finally left.

You had a light snack around 7 pm since your weren't hungry. Periods always makes sure to ruin your appetite whether it gives you cramps or not.

You took a shower in the evening and got fresh. Standing right infront of the mirror to get ready you took out the gajra out of the black polythene. It smelled beautiful, just like your Ram, so sweet that you always wanna keep him with you and always be with him wherever he goes. 

You put on the gajra on your hair and tucked it properly using some clips to secure it in your bun.

You were busy folding some clothes as you heard a knock on you door. Walking out of your room, you checked the time.

It's only 9 pm now, it must be someone else, you thought to yourself thinking it's not your husband. 

As you opened the door your eyes widened in amusement seeing Ram standing in front of you. He was holding one big black polythene and one small one. You were so happy to see him come early for you that you almost jumped to hug him but his firm arms were quick to hold you in his embrace.

Ram smiled as he kissed your forehead, still hugging you."How are you doing, are the cramps hurting alot?" he asked but you ignored his question as you said, "I missed you, thanks for the gajra though, they are beautiful!".

Ram already noticed the gajra on your bun, " not as beautiful as you, my love" he said as he patted your head, making you blush in his broad shoulders.

"Should we go in now, i know you're hungry look I bought all your favourites for dinner" he spoke looking at you.

You two walked in and Ram plated the dinner after he got fresh asking you to just sit and let him serve you. You keep telling him that he can atleast let you serve it but no he won't budge. 

After eating you pleaded him to atleast let you do the dishes. So you two did it together, still better than him doing all this by himself. You knew his job was very tiring both physically and mentally. You always try to give him with maximum rest when he's home, most of the nights as he lays his head on your lap telling you about his day is something both of you loved to do.

You were sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for him to join you in the bed as Ram entered in the a room with a bowl and spoon in his hands.

"Gulab jamun for my sweet gulab jamun, my dear wife!" he exclaimed making you smile at the sight of your favourite dessert. You looked at him so in love that you couldn't explain, you really wanted to kiss him all over his face so you did. As he sat beside you on the bed, you set the bowl aside as pulled him in a soft kiss. Now it was his turn to be surprised. He was amazed with a sudden shower of love from his wife, he didn't thought much before he held you close and kissed you back pressing his lips over yours, you both closed your eyes and the feeling you two were sharing was the most valuable thing you could ever ask for. 

You pulled back as you rest your head on his shoulders and you both started laughing softly, his hands still holding you close to himself. 

"So was it the Gulab jamun, cause if you kiss me like this I won't hesitate to bring it for you everyday", you chuckled at his words hitting him slightly. "No dumbo, it's you, it's cause I love…and also the gulab jamun" you joked making him chuckle.

He fed you the gulab jamun as you both finished eating it and settle on the bed to finally dooze off in each others arm.

You know he'll always fight everything that would ever try to hurt you and if it's something like periods, he'll do the most corniest things to make you feel good afterall a little bit of cringe is ok when two souls are so in love with each other.

Tagging my babies: @lotus-n-l0ve @vijayasena

This is the first fic i posted yall, I'm emotional sobs

[xsweetcatastrophe]

You Broke Me First

part 5.

Zoe had a habit of making everything look perfectly fine when in reality, she was dying on the inside.

On the outside, she looked like she was ready to take on the day. She walked down the hall to Donna's office, with a Starbucks coffee in hand. She had black tailored pants and a grey mock neck shirt tucked into the waist. her hair was in a low bun with some hair out, framing her face. She wore minimal makeup, just some concealer and blush on her cheeks and nose. She wore small gold hoops, and a matching chain-link choker necklace. Her heels clicked as she walked, getting closer and closer to Donna's office. A couple of the junior associates in the cubicles she passed looked at her. With the way Zoe was walking, they would think she had it all. The perfect job, perfect boyfriend, perfect life. They would think she woke up super early that morning, and took a ride on the Peleton bike she probably owns or maybe went to a pilates class. They would think she's like one of the girls in those rom coms, who live in the beautiful brownstone with the man of her dreams.

The reality? Zoe was hungover.

Zoe was hanging on by a thread.

Zoe fell asleep and didn't do her hair, that's why it was in a bun.

Zoe woke up in a pool of sweat because her stupid AC shut off in the middle of the night.

Zoe was wearing a sports bra under her shirt because she forgot to do laundry.

Zoe did NOT have it all... no, if Zoe had anything, it was anxiety.

Zoe stopped in front of Donna's door, and took a deep breath. She knocked a couple times and waited.

"come in" she heard on the other side.

Zoe pushed open the door and plastered a smile onto her face.

"Good morning! how was your week-" Zoe started and immeidately stopped.

Donna's office was large, with her desk in the middle of the room with floor to ceiling windows behind her. To the right was a couch and coffee table. To the left, was a heavy oval oak table with 6 chairs. Donna sat there with who she presumed was Hannah Woods... and Cillian.

Zoe's stomach did that thing again where it dropped to her knees. She made eye contact with Cillian and Cillian immediately looked at his shoes.

"Hi hun, come sit down" Donna waved her over, motioning her to a chair... a chair next to Cillian.

Zoe made her way over and sat down, her body almost slightly leaning away from him. If it was up to her she wouldn't be in the same room as this man ever again.

"Hi Zoe, My name is Hannah and I'm Cillian's publicist" Hannah said, introducing herself and holding out her hand. Zoe took it and smiled, taking in the woman in front of her. She had blonde hair, and too white teeth. She was skinny and her makeup looked airbrushed on. She looked like someone that wasn't speak to Zoe if they were still in high school. I bet her AC works, Zoe thought.

"Ms Woods emailed me yesterday morning with some concerns that i'd like to discuss with you," Donna said calmly.

Zoe always loved Donna. It had only been 3 years, but she really took her under her wing. She always asked how she was doing, and she didn't mean about work. Donna knew Zoe's mom lived far away and, since Donna wasn't able to have children of her own, gravitated towards Zoe. She had a maternal side she never got to show, and I guess with Zoe she got to show it. Zoe didn't mind, she welcomed it.

"Well, let's just get it out - seems like you two had a hell of a Saturday night" Hannah exclaimed, breaking the ice. Donna chucked, but Zoe and Cillian did not.

"It wasn't a night, it was just drinks at 6pm..." Cillian said, still looking at the floor.

"6:30. It was supposed to be 6, but you were late remember?" Zoe added, without realizing how immature it sounded.

"anyways....." Hannah continued, looking at both of them, " Obviously this doesn't look good. This isn't good for Cillian's current image, especially with what is going on in his life. You guys were spotted, and the tabloids already have pictures they are going to run tomorrow" Hannah said, opening up a folder she had brought and handing Zoe photos.

Zoe looked at the photos and her stomach... well, you know what it did.

When Zoe heard that they were spotted, she assumed the bartender opened her mouth. There wasn't a lot of people in the bar, and she doesn't remember anyone young enough to give a shit if Cillian Murphy was in a bar with a girl.

But these photos weren't in the bar.

These photos were them outside on a side walk, VERY drunk.

Well, Zoe knew she was drunk, but to the naked eye, people might think she looked... dare I say, happy?

Cillian had her arm around her shoulder in one pic, with her hand reaching out to meet his hand. She was mid laugh and Cillian was looking at her with a smile on his face. Another photo, they were holding hands, walking into the Hilton. Fuck, Zoe thought. That one's bad.

Then she saw the third photo.

Paps weren't allowed in the hotel lobby,but they stood outside and shot in through the windows on the revolving door. There, you could see Zoe at the front desk, with Cillian behind her, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her against him with his lips on her neck. ok, so it gets worse, Zoe thought.

"Donna," Zoe started, pushing the photos away. "I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am. This is so extremely unprofessional and I promise nothing like this will ever happen again."

"I know it won't" Donna said, toeing the line between boss and mother figure. "Hannah and I have been on the phone all Sunday about this. She's concerned for Cillian but I'm concerned for you. This won't look good for you when they run this story. They'll know you work here and they'll be relentless with trying to get to you"

"How can we make this go away?" Zoe said, trying to think fast. She wanted out of here. Did someone turn the heat on? She felt sweat drip down her back. Her heart was beating so loud she was convinced Cillian could hear it.

"Well, the tabloids need an answer from me by 3pm today" Hannah started, pulling out her phone to check the time. Don't be dramatic bitch, it's a 10am meeting Zoe thought.

"An answer for what?" Zoe said, confused.

"Who you are"

"....Who I am? Why do they need to know?"

"because if they don't they're gonna make it seem like you're a booty call" Cillian interjected, Zoe half forgot he was at the table.

"Ok, no" Zoe started, eyebrows furrowed "Can't you just say you were at an interview?"

"yea great idea, oh wait, i forgot, I don't sleep with people I do interviews with" Cillian shot back.

"Well apparently you do" Hannah interrupted, seeing things were going to get touchy. "And It's my job to make this look as normal as possible"

"And how do you do that?" Zoe asked. There goes her gut again. Something wasn't right.

"Well.... Donna and I talked.. and we think it's best for both your publication and Mr. Murphy's image to tell the tabloids that.. you're a girl Mr. Murphy is dating" Hannah said slowly.

"HAH" Zoe laughed out loud, she simply couldn't hold it in. "no really, what do we do?"

"Zoe" Donna said, in her mother tone. It was a warning, and Zoe didn't respond.

"Mr. Murphy is in the middle of a divorce. it should be finalized soon, however between his movie coming up and his ex-wife having the tabloids on speed dial, him 'letting loose' with an interviewer isn't the best for him right now" Hannah slowly stated. "And, on the other side, Donna feels like this isn't the best representation for your publication, and we came up with a gameplan" Hannah continued, standing up and starting to pace.

"What we tell the tabloids - you and Cillian have been dating for a little over a month. You met at a party last year and have remained in touch. You re-connected and have been casually getting to know each other"

Zoe was holding her breath. She was pinching her thigh. Surely this was a dream. She'll wake up. Just keep pinching.

"You guys lay low, maybe doing a dinner once a week to show you guys out and about. Hopefully after a couple weeks, they leave you alone and all this fades away. If not, we'll do a breakup announcement. I don't want this lasting longer than 3 months, tops." Hannah concluded.

Zoe was still pinching.

"What do you think?" Hannah said, after a moment of silence from everyone in the room.

"This.. can't be real" Zoe said slowly.

Hannah chucked. "you'd be surprised. Do you think Ben Affleck and Ana De Armas REALLY dated during Covid? They're both my clients. That was a 6 month agreement, I don't want to do anything that long" Hannah said proudly.

"Told you to get a fucking seltzer" Cillian said, finally looking at Zoe.

"Will you give it up with the fucking seltzers already??!" Zoe snapped, while Hannah said "what seltzer?" at the same time.

"Zoe" Donna said, putting her hand on top of hers. "I need you to think about this. I know this isn't what you want. But it's temporary. And it's for the publication. And it could quite possibly save your career, who knows what those monsters will say" Donna said."

"Can i.... Can I think about it....?" Zoe said. If you were wondering if she was still pinching her thigh, don't worry - she was.

"No" Donna said, taking her hand away. "If you say no, we will unfortunately have to terminate your employment as you violated your employee guidelines"

"what??? Donna, you can't be serious, it was a mistake" Zoe exclaimed.

"Is there really an employee rule to not sleep with interviewees?" Cillian interjected, half laughing half serious.

Zoe looked at him, then looked back at Donna. "Come ON" Zoe said.

"I need an answer, and I need it now.. remember, they need an answer by 3" Hannah interjected, pointing at her phone.

"It's not even noon!" Zoe yelled, getting frustrated.

"Zoe" Donna said, loudly. "That's enough"

Zoe turned to Cillian, lightly hitting him in the shoulder.

"And what about you? don't you have anything to say? Why am I the only one in here answering for us? You're okay with this??" Zoe said to him. Cillian's head shot to her.

"Are you kidding me? I bet you got to enjoy your Sunday. Hannah called me an hour after you left. I've been hearing all this shit since yesterday. I got nothing left. I have no control over it... trust me, I tried real hard" Cillian snapped.

"She'll do it" Donna said to Hannah, answering for her.

"Great, I promise this will be over before you know it" Hannah said, pulling papers out of her folder - a contract. Similar to an NDA, going over the terms of the agreement and what she was allowed to say to people and what had to keep confidential, which was pretty much everything.

The next twenty minutes were a blur. Legal was called in, and went over the terms of the agreement with Zoe while Cillian's lawyer called in and was on speakerphone. Paperwork was signed, hands were shaken. The deal was done.

Zoe sat there, dumbfounded.

"Zoe, take the rest of the day off. Actually, don't come in this week. I'm going to re-assign your assignments to some of the junior associates - they need the practice. You guys should... get to know each other" Donna said, as if she was trying to be cute about the situation. Cillian and Zoe just stared her down.

Zoe and Cillian stood up slowly, and Cillian made his way to Donna's door, opening it and waiting for Zoe. Zoe slowly walked out, and they both made it to the lobby and pressed the elevator button.

"I can't believe this is happening" Zoe groaned to herself. She wanted to go to sleep. She wanted to wake up in her shitty apartment, with her broken AC and shitty couch, and eat shitty leftover Chinese food and enjoy her mediocre life. Oh, how she missed it in this moment.

"Yea well, trust me I'm not thrilled about it either. Lets be civil and get this over with" Cillian said, waiting for the elevators to open.

"Sorry" Zoe snapped. "Pardon me if I don't know how to navigate my first fake relationship. Please teach me, oh wise one" she said sarcastically.

"Well honey, I never had one either, so we're both new to this" Cillian said, stepping aside and letting Zoe step into the elevator first. "We skipped around and got sex out of the way, But I suggest we start with the basics"

"Basics? like what?" Zoe said, still dumbfounded.

"Well" Cillian said, stepping into the elevator.

"For starters... what's your last name?"

tags: @lau219

[glitched-username]

Mystic Training

The autism won and just spent the past couple days powering through writing a 10 page tmnt g/t fanfic like my life depended on it. This is mostly self indulgent because I would've loved to see mystic Raph more in the show and also would've love to see more on how the power works

cw: there's a bit of messing around with mystic Raph's mouth for a couple paragraphs but mostly in the way to how a dentist poke's around someone's mouth

Word count: 4522

-----------

“You did WHAT with your powers?!” Mikey practically pounced on Raph’s shoulders as the four walked back to the lair.

“I know, right?! It was the craziest thing I've ever seen! You should've been there!”

“I would've loved to but Mikey and I were forced to handle that backstabbing, tried-to-steal-my-tech, traitorous, smug -”

“Man! I wish it was me and Raph on the roof, I would kill to see a giant super powered mystic Raph!” Mikey felt Raph stiffen his shoulders.

“Mikey… Leo had to get thrown off the roof for me to catch him like that…” Donnie paused mid rant at Raph's words, trailing a few paces behind.

“Okay, but if you did it once, can't you do it again? Unless there's a sort of quote unquote mystic cool down that prevents you from using that full power, there shouldn't be anyone stopping you now.” That caught the attention of the others as eyes moved from Donnie to Raph expectantly. 

“Huh? I mean, I don't even know HOW I did it, just that I… had to? I don't know, it was mostly just a feeling I guess.” Raph sheepishly grinned, rubbing the back of his head. 

Mikey just dramatically slid off, landing on his feet in a slouch. “Awww man… oh wait! What if I-”

“You're not throwing yourself off a building to see if it works.” Raph grabbed Mikey by the back of his shell and tucked him under his arms to keep from running off.

“Hey! It was a joke! Leo, Donnie tell Raph I was joking!” Mikey playfully squirmed in Raph’s grip as they started moving again.

Leo nudged Mikey’s side as Donnie took the lead up front “I don't know, you sounded pretty serious there~”

“Leo’s correct, and I'm the only one allowed to be funny in this family”

“You betray your own brother?! How could you!” Mikey threw his arms out and slumped forward. 

The four continued to make their way back home, Leo continuing to brag about how not only was he “right about spider lady” but also that he managed to make some killer portals. Donnie was mostly muttering to himself and fidgeting with his gauntlet about manufacturing artificial spider webs. And despite the theatrics of it all, Mikey was content with snuggling up to Raph’s side, more exhausted than anything but not being able to fall asleep.

Raph stayed a bit quieter than usual but he was probably just as drained as the rest.

It wasn't long before they made it back home, each splitting off to their own rooms for the night. Raph dropped a now sleeping Mikey off before all but collapsing out in his own room. Sleep was restless, was in and out, almost nonexistent and contained no dreams but it was something.

--------------------------------

“UP AND AT ‘EM RAPHALA!” 

“WHAT-HUH?!” Raph’s body practically launched itself out of bed and onto the floor before he could even realize he was awake. He pushed himself off the floor, now sitting up, looking at a now very excited Donnie with eye bags stronger than what his mask can cover up. Like he was giddily waiting for someone to ask. “What happened?!”

“Oh, Raph good you're awake! Well we have a BIG day scheduled for YOU mister. I've prepped for you to get 30 minutes to get yourself ready, dressed, eat, shower etcetera and THEN we are gonna be headed to the main atrium where we are gonna do nothing BUT crack this infuriating figurative mystic code of your power!” 

Raph, who was barely paying attention to what Donnie was saying, mostly just falling back asleep now that there's no threat, suddenly shot awake when Donnie said that last bit. “My power? Well, normally you know I'm all down for training, but this early?” 

“Yes, of course this early because we have so many different factors both physical and… eugh… emotional… that could each individually play a part in understanding what you do that activates that, to quote Mikey, giant super powered mystic Raph.” Donnie was now right by Raph grabbing his arm and trying to lead him out the room. “Now come on, you now have 28 minutes to get ready before we start!”

Raph just stood up and pulled his arm back, resulting in Donnie falling to the ground. 

“Relax D, we just got done fighting two boss villains, I think we need a day.” Raph stepped a bit closer, now noticing the dark purple eye bags. “You too, did you spend all last night working on this “schedule” thing?”

“Long exasperated groan, why yes my dearest brother, I did, because apparently I'm more interested in understanding your own powers than you.” Donnie gave a huff, standing indignantly at that last bit. “Like come on, you barely talked about it outside of “I don't know how it works”, I know if any of us developed some crazy power we didn't know how to use or control you would be the FIRST to want them to figure it out.”

“Yeah but that was different, we knew nothing about our powers back then, this is just an added thing to the stuff I do know how to do.”

“And you're telling me you DON’T want to know how to use a power like that, one that has been shown to have incredible strength and durability from what I've heard?”

“Yes because I'm totally fine with what I have now and do NOT need to use that powerup.”

“I don't understand, then you should want to know how it works so you can choose to avoid activating it if you want-”

“-Just… stop, I don't wanna talk about it this early in the morning”

There were several moments of silence and Raph was about to tell Donnie to go to bed again before “Well, alright then, my offer still stands and I will be in the main atrium if you wish to participate.” And with that, Donnie turned on his heels and walked out at a brisk pace

Raph just rubbed his fingers against his temple and flopped back onto his bed. He didn't sleep, staying lost in thought.

An hour later he mustered the strength to pull himself back up, getting his mask, wrappings and reluctantly his tonfas and exited his room.

“You're out of bed late~” Raph looked and to the left of his room was Leo, who’s lax attitude immediately set off Raph’s ‘Leo’s planning something’ alarm.

“Yeah, hardly, the Mad Scientist woke me up an hour ago for some… science thing.” 

“Eh, you know what I mean.” Leo leaned his weight on Raph's shoulder, “Actually, speaking of said ‘Mad Scientist’ and he seemed pre-tty ticked that you were “fine with living in ignorance of your own capabilities'' and is mostly just ranting to himself. Sicced Mikey on him before heading up here to get the nerd to cool off.”

Raph took a deep breath, “I didn't mean to upset him, I just… don't think that this should be the top priority with all the oozquitos free again.” Leo just hummed, cartoonishly nodding his head.

“Yeah of course, and it definitely has nothing to do with how you already know how this new powerup works or anything.” He confidently said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“W-What?! How did you-  mean, I have no idea what you're talking about.” Raph folded his arms, suddenly finding the right side of the lair to be extremely interesting to look at.

“Well, I mean if that little bit of Shakespeare didn't give it away then that whole beef with Donnie definitely did.” Raph slumped at being caught. “I mean, you're telling me that you don't want to know how a power THAT awesome works? Yeah I'm not buying it. You love showing off during training and fights. So spill. Don’t make me drag Mikey over here, we both know it’s impossible to keep secrets from those puppy eyes.” Leo took a step back from Raph, waiting for a response.

“... Promise you won’t tell them?” Raph barely whispered.

“I’m not your parent, not the older brother and most importantly, not a narc, I’m not gonna rat you out. I don’t know, take it as… a blood pact, except replace the “blood” with “falling off one of the biggest buildings in New York”.”

Raph huffed but looked at and away from Leo rapidly, wringing his hands together trying to string together his next sentence. Leo was waiting, now leaned onto the wall.

“I just… don't want to hurt you guys…” The confession finally startled Leo, breaking the chill guy persona.

“Woah woah woah, what are you talking about? Hurt us?” Leo’s eyes widened “Wait, is one of us almost dying, really what causes the powerup?” It was now Raph’s turn to be shocked.

“No! No. it’s, I don't know, it took me so long to figure out how to get used to my own strength, even with the tonfas. I thought it got to where I had total control of my strength and powers.” Raph looked down at his hands, avoiding Leo. “And then that whole thing happened and it felt different than what I'm used to with the tonfas. Like it was my body but also not?” He looked at Leo. “I was going to grab you during the fall but I could barely even feel the wind so I thought that if I grabbed you…I wouldn't be able to tell… and I’d hurt you worse than what the fall would.”

Something dark flashed over Leo’s eyes for the briefest of moments before he quirked a lopsided smile, trying to lighten the mood. “Oh come on, big guy, you know we know you'd never hurt us, at least not in a way that requires the med bay.” He mostly muttered that last part to himself. 

“Yeah, but what about on accident, it's happened before!” 

“Do you know how many times I've accidentally hurt myself on the skate ramp? Way more than the times you've hurt us, and we STILL keep that thing around! And you know what we do to stop getting injured on the skate ramp?” Leo was now back to his smug self, nudging Raph's side with a smirk on his face “Come on, it's one of your top 5 favorite words… starts with a T~”

Raph gave a defeated huff and soft smile “We train… Man, when did you decide to be the mature one?”

“Hey! I’m ALWAYS the mature one! I’m just making sure that our fearless leader doesn’t lose that title over being scared about nothing!” Leo wrapped his arm around Raph's and began to lead him to the atrium, “now let's go tell the Egg Head the good news that we don't need his excel spreadsheet of “reasons for Raph's powerup" !"

--------------------------------

“Tell me EXACTLY how it works! I have the spreadsheet up to compare how correct any of my hypotheses are.”

All four brothers gathered in the atrium, and Raph was struggling to not feel singled out especially when he was in fact singled out. He took a breath.

“I don't know how to really phrase it? I know that I'm able to do it and there's nothing holding me back, but just that there used to be something holding me back? And now that the thing holding me back is gone… I can just… do it now? Sorry, that's just the best way I can phrase it.”

There was a beat of silence before Donnie powered up his gauntlet and frantically began scrolling through it. It took Leo and Mikey a few seconds later to figure it out though.

“Waitwaitwait, was you saving me what got rid of that “thing holding you back”?”

Raph silently nodded. Mikey just threw his arms around Raph the best he could.

“Awww! You hear that? Raph loves us so much he got a new power from it!” Raph just chuckled, wrapping his arms around Mikey. 

“‘Course Raph loves you guys, no matter how much you annoy me…” Raph buried his head into Mikey’s shoulders who in turn gave a few happy chirps.

Leo playfully wrapped an arm around Raph. “Or it happened cause if anyone's gonna be able to take me out it's gonna be one of you, not some freaky goat man.”

Raph looked up a bit at Leo with a warm smile, then back at Mikey. “See what I mean?”

“NO! THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE! CURSE YOU MYSTIC POWERS! I WILL FIGURE YOU OUT AND WHEN I DO, YOU WILL RUE THE DAY YOU DARE-” 

“- Donnie, buddy, we’re having a moment.” Donnie shot his eyes up at Leo’s words and looked towards the other three, staring but mostly used to the “out of context scientific outbursts”. “Awkward cough, right, of course. WELL, the spreadsheet was a total bust so I spent all night working on nothing, and I really need another coffee--even though MIKEY won’t let me have anymore--so how about we move right on to phase 2!” He dramatically held up 2 fingers.

“You need to have something other than caffeine! Also what’s phase 2?”

“Why I'm so glad you asked, dear Angelo!” Donnie pointedly ignored the first part. “Raph, if you would please do the honors and make a full body projection as large as you are able--without damaging the lair or breaking anything please.”

“What? Why can't I, you know, just make one a tiny bit bigger than me?” Raph let go of Mikey and was looking nervous all over again.

“Because, Raphael, it'll be easier and faster in the long run if we start off with an extreme in the opposite direction opposed to starting with the least extreme version so that any sort of differences and general changes to how you and your body interact and interpret the world are easier to notice and document.” There was a moment and then, “Larger body equals more detail and less work later on.” Nods and general agreement. 

“Okay, okay, just… stand back, like a lot, cause I don’t wanna hurt you guys, even by accident… just in case.” As the group of three made their way to a nearby hallway, Raph just sighed and rolled his eyes as Leo gave him the biggest smirk he's seen on the slider’s face. Raph is guaranteed to never hear the end of how “he was right two days in a row! This needs to be a national holiday!”.

Raph moved over to the center of the room and pulled out his tonfas like he normally would. It was unusually silent outside of the frantic typing on Donnie’s gauntlet. Raph was usually so eager to show off how much better he’s gotten with his powers, but this time it felt different. Maybe because it was less of a training session or maybe unsure of the outcome of this experiment. Either way, he took a breath and let the energy spark and flow around him.

The projection grew at a slow but steady pace, tinting the area in a warm red. Donnie was typing notes like his life depended on it, Mikey was looking ahead, almost star-struck and Leo despite the smugness, was keeping an eye on Raph, who was nervous but didn’t look like he was gonna completely freak out.

Occasionally Raph adjusted positions when getting too close to a wall or ramp, finally stopping at around 30ish feet or so when the projection’s shoulders started to get a bit too close to both sides of the room. His brothers noticed the change and took that as an invitation to step back in the room.

Mikey came barreling towards Raph, stopping a few feet away. “Wooahhh! THIS IS SO COOL! Hey, Leo, was he this big when he caught you?” The box turtle was bouncing on his feet, more excited to be seeing the mystic form than hearing an actual answer.

Leo casually strolled up. “He was actually a biiiit bigger, but y’know, this is cool too” Mikey lightly jabbed Leo on his side, who just laughed and moved his eyes from Mikey to Raph “What about you Big and Red? How’s the weather up there? Man, I’ve been holding that one in since last night.” Raph just gave a nervous thumbs up, keeping his arms close to his chest.

Almost hyper aware of how small his brothers were, more than usual, Raph shifted slightly trying to find a good spot to sit down.

“Waiteaitwait! Don't sit yet! I still have to take measurements!” Raph immediately stopped, letting Donnie fly from head to toe, gingerly moving his arms for a measurement of his arm span. 

“Incredible it's perfectly proportioned and scaled to your exact measurements! Down to the tiniest of millimeters! But since I know only I will appreciate the exact measurements, your current height is 33 feet and 5 inches.” 

“Oh! That’s uh-”

“AND YOU CAN SPEAK THROUGH THE PROJECTION?!” Donnie flew up to Mystic Raph’s face and began poking around. “Hm, it's transparent but not with itself.” Donnie touched Mystic Raph’s face and was mostly staring through the projection rather than at it. Raph just let him poke and prod, rambling away, slowly getting used to the sensations. The numb, barely noticeable feelings slowly becoming clearer and with more weight.

“I can see through the face to the rooms and hallways but I can’t see the mask tails. If he were completely transparent (with the red and white outlines) I would be able to see everything…let’s see… hmm… guess there’s only one way to check if it's more mystic nonsense making you speak or some actual biology for once… Raph, open your mouth.” Aaaand any getting used to the new body was immediately brought to a screeching halt.

“WHAT?! I'm not gonna-” but Donnie already propped his tech bo in the projection’s mouth, keeping it jammed open. It felt insanely weird to have the mystic body restrained in some way while Raph’s physical body was just stuck with his mouth open. It felt even weirder when Donnie stuck half of his body inside and started to poke and prod around again, metal arms from his battle shell keeping the scientist in place.

Raph was deathly still, not even moving to grab his very smart but VERY dumb brother. He didn't know whether to feel glad his brother trusted him enough to get away with doing such a stupid action or terrified over the (extremely low) possibility of accidentally biting down. All he could do was give a pleading look down at Mikey and Leo for help. 

The slider took initiative after a bit, laughing as he made his way up to the floor near Raph's face. “Wow D, and here I thought you were the biggest germaphobe in the family~” 

Donnie didn't get out and instead just pointed a metal finger at Leo. “Jokes on you, I've already accounted for that!” The soft shell turned slightly, a mad scientist-like grin across his face. “While observing Mystic Raph’s face I noted that there was no moisture forming on eyes. None of the sheen and shine that comes with tear duct production. Eyes without said tear duct production need constant use of eye drops to remain functional and undamaged, so if the eyes can look and function like normal eyes while producing no moisture then it stands to reason that there is no saliva, blood or any other sticky gross disgustingness, and I was right!” 

Looking quite proud of himself, Donnie moved to stick his head back in when Mikey swung up and landed on Raph’s head, looking down at Donnie a bit sheepishly. 

“Uh, Donnie, maybe you should get out of there? Real Raph hasn't been able to close his mouth and it's probably not the most comfortable feeling.” That seemed to snap Donnie out of his smugness, looking down at Raph and then back at the tech bo.

“Ah, sorry. Let me just…” Donnie carefully pulled out the bo staff, and even though Raph flinched from the sudden shift, Donnie didn't, instead just retracting the spider arms, having the battle shell pull himself out and flying down to Mystic Raph’s middle “It didn't occur to me that you could feel or even have your physical body restrained whenever the mystic body was.”

“It's fine, just don't do it again, or since I know that you're probably gonna do it again anyway, just let me know BEFORE, please?” Raph adjusted his jaw for a moment before looking back down at Donnie who just nodded vigorously, “Guess that's what we're figuring out with this anyway, just how this” he gestured to himself, careful not to jostle Mikey too much, “whole situation works… did you find anything out doing that incredibly stupid thing at least?” 

“Ah yes! It seems that this form does have the same biology as yourself, a working setting of vocal cords being one of them. But a couple things before I go on. One, I grant you permission to sit down now if you wish, and Two,” Donnie’s eyes flickered to both the Mystic Raph’s face and then Real Raph’s “would it be easier if we talked closer to the projection’s head or your own”

“Oh, I mean, I guess I can see out of my real body if I try hard enough but it's easier to see out of the other body’s eyes.” Raph explained while carefully moving to a sitting down position, leaning comfortably on the skate ramp. 

Mikey kept his same spot on Mystic Raph’s head but went to lay down and Leo jumped from the spot near Raph’s head and sat on his shoulder, casually leaning against his neck. He whispered in Raph's ear so the box turtle couldn't hear “Told you that you were freaking out over nothing, you couldn't hurt us even if you wanted to. We honestly cause you more problems like this than you ever could.” Raph didn't give a verbal reply but Leo felt the shoulders stiffen and head gently lean on the slider just the tiniest amount. “Welp! Now that we’re all comfy n’stuff, we give you full permission to rant about the nerd stuff you found out, Don Tron.”

That got Donnie to perk right up and he spent the next half hour gushing about all the details ranging from how “the body less of a suit of armor shaped like Raph and more like an exact mirror image”, to how “since Mystic Raph can feel touch and experience other sensory input then his mystic power must be connected to his nervous system”. In short, this wasn’t a mystic power up of Raph, this was an extension of him, like an arm or a leg. Mystic Raph IS Raph and that thought made something warm and happy bubble in his chest. 

Past that, the other three weren’t thinking too hard about the specifics, but they were comfortable, and despite the early hours, after yesterday, still needed the rest, so they mostly just let Donnie info-dump the whole time (with a few light-hearted jabs thrown in here and there) about any minor or interesting fact the soft shell found out about Raph.

After a bit, Donnie’s pace began to slow and Raph immediately caught on, surprising himself when he offered his hands for the soft shell to land and relax on. Donnie insisted that he was still wide awake but took the offer anyway and promptly passed out a few minutes later. Raph gently moved Donnie towards Leo who removed the battle shell and placed it on the upper floor nearby. The three remaining brothers tried to fight off the lingering exhaustion of last night, “Guess Donnie and me weren't the only one to miss sleep…” but without any craziness to “ooo” and “aaa” at, sleep managed to claim the rest of Raph’s brothers one by one.

The four of them were all contently laying together now, Donnie carefully held close to his plastron, his hands providing the same amount of comfortable pressure as a weighted blanket. Leo squirmed and shifted around a lot but eventually settled for between the back of Raph’s neck and his shell, a spot that Leo’s back will definitely regret later. And Mikey migrated to the crook of Raph’s chin, finding security in the giant snapping turtle resting his head over Mikey as well as the gentle breathing beneath.

Raph on the other hand was more focused on the new, and admittedly amazing sensations that came with this new mystic form. Touch felt different but not in a foreign way anymore. It wasn’t a scary, numb tingle that was with touch but was more like a warm buzz. Almost as if the feeling his body was registering as touch was energy as opposed to wood or metal or brothers. Realizing this made Raph relax even more, a content and gentle rumble emanating from the giant body. He was about to fall asleep when his eyes snapped open. What was he doing, he can’t sleep like this, not with his brothers all over him, what if he rolls over in his sleep, what if he puts too much pressure on Donnie, or leans his head back too much and hurts Leo, or Mikey’s limbs get caught in his plastron, or-

A tiny, gentle hand gave a few pats to Raph’s neck. “It’s okay Raph, you’re not gonna hurt us, you can sleep if you want… unless you got something against afternoon naps…” Mikey turned over a bit and looked up at a slightly panicked Raph, who was trying his best to look back, “How can you say you're scared of your own strength when you’re more gentle now than you’ve ever been…” Recollection of a similar conversation popped into Raph’s head.

“Leo told you, huh?” The tiniest of whispers, barely audible unless you were right in front of Raph’s face, which Mikey thankfully was. The tiny turtle gave a huffed laugh.

“No one can keep secrets from my puppy eyes~” A few more pats to the neck, “but are you really okay with this? I don’t want to think that we forced you into testing this out…” Raph’s eyes widened.

“No, it’s fine, really, those two were right anyway, I needed to get used to it now before I might need to use it later. Just don’t tell them I said that, their egos have already skyrocketed the past couple days…” Raph saw Mikey give a fond smile, his eyes closing again, humming softly as he turned to get comfy again.

“Hmm, think about how cool it’ll be to use this during fights or brother ball or-”

“Heh yeah, okay okay, still gotta get used to this whole thing for now… go get some sleep, you all need it…” Mikey just snuggled up against Raph’s neck. His little brother wanted to fight sleep but was losing that battle.

“You… first…” Raph’s eyes softened as the box turtle fell back asleep. After a few moments of peaceful quiet, he curled up slightly against all his brothers and finally joined the rest, rumbling softly and contently the entire time.

[raayllum]

Now to talk about poll results for "what made you see callum as a snake boi? (aka selectively loyal, ultra devoted to & willing to sacrifice the world for ez and/or rayla)?"

Initial notes:

238 votes was a lot more — almost twice as many — votes as I actually expected the post to generate, based on consistent notes for adjacent posts as well as the amount the categories in favour of it got on a prior post (about 80-90 votes in total). For this poll I'd been expecting about 120 maximum, particularly because it only ran for one day. So thank you to everyone for participating!

The actual goal of said poll was to see when people started to see Callum as being selectively loyal/devotional to Ezran and Rayla, as I'm always curious as to when people start viewing characters or ships or whatever in certain ways (with a couple of particular tipping points, like 2x07 and 5x08, being their own options). I almost didn't include the last category of people not knowing when that formed for them but knew that it did, but I'm glad I added it last minute, as it clearly ended up being the primary result.

You can also see my little vote up for S1, because I am nothing if not consistent as hell.

The two seasons that seemed to have the biggest effect on people's view of him were, unsurprisingly, season 2 (15.1% altogether or approx. 36 people) and season 5 (12.6% or approx. 30 people). 2x07, accordingly, had the biggest upswing but not as much of one comparatively over 5x08 (only 1.2% more, or approx. 2.8-3 people - however that's divided - of a difference), which was more surprising to me, since I thought 2x07 would've had a much bigger lead.

I was also surprised at S3 or S4 being turning points for close to 10 and 5 people respectively; if you voted for these seasons I would be deeply curious and would love to know what tipped things over you, as my best guess for S3 might be getting mad at Ethari / going off the Pinnacle and getting mad at Soren in 4x01. Please feel free to leave notes here in the tags/replies or in my inbox/dms!

Then we had his Tales of Xadia bio, which spells out the Inherent 'Snake Boi' premise outright, at around 3 votes. Again, interesting for me as a tipping point as it is 1) ultimately supplementary material and 2) existed as a confirmation of what I and many others had already thought. It does make sense that this is the smallest tipping point category as his bio was not likely to be effective if you weren't already at least open to this interpretation of him, and it will naturally have less eyes on it since it's supplementary material.

Overall, the largest demographics were the seasons altogether, at 39.5% or approx. 94 people, with the "can't remember when" being the actual largest with roughly 122 people. In total, that is the majority of the votes (216 people) with the remaining percentage largely stemming from my own meta - 8% or 19 people - which is approximately on par with 5x08 as a turning point, and outstrips all other seasonal categories except for 2x07. Not bad meta wise, I think! It is pleasing / feel validating, though, that the overwhelming majority came to the conclusion on their own and overall fairly early on (arc 1 rather than arc 2 where it is much more obvious).

As always thank you for participating, I hope you're enjoying the tags, and that you're having a perfectly swell weekend <3

[compo67]

Slowly, but Surely (Don't Call Me Shirley)

Hello, hello.

i am slowly, but surely, recharging my creative batteries. There's less pressure now, but with good things happening. A detailed account of what's been happening. All below the cut. TLDR at the end.

Let's start with the good.

I went to the Big Gay Market in Madison, WI for the weekend. It was marvelous. There were people of all kinds of genders, an affirming and friendly environment, and so many creatives. I felt like I was in community and it's been a long time since I've felt that way. I was sad when it ended. But I bought the most beautiful wreath to hang in my room. I'll snap a picture of it when I can.

I studied the entire month of June, whenever I had a spare moment and for dedicated study sessions.

I made a total of 300 flashcards, wrote 40 pages in my notebook, used 2 test prep books, 3 learning system books, a 100 page summary of competencies, and 2 apps. I answered 2800 practice questions on those apps. I practiced and practiced until I reached at least an 80% in each competency.

And what happened?

I PASSED.

I kicked that exam in the ass! When I saw "passed" on the screen, I nearly whooped in the testing center. I cried in my car as I relayed the news to my mom, who is also an HR professional. I could not believe it. I still can't. Cal Owens, SHRM-CP. It feels SO GOOD to have letters after my name.

I'm also still on that high of completing my HR Management certificate with "high honors" and then earning my SHRM certification right after it.

Then, at the end of May, right before my birthday, I sent in an application to the Arboretum nearby. They were looking for an HR Coordinator. And they weren't requiring at least 3 years experience or a BS in HR. After the radio silence for a month and a half, I gave up on them getting back to me. I sent a follow-up email, as instructed by my mentor, and still no reply. I figured I was set aside and I moved on to apply for more jobs.

Lo and behold, the Arb emailed last week and offered me a phone interview! I spoke with their Talent Acquisition specialist way past the 30 minute time slot, which I took as a good sign. Next step was to have a virtual meeting.

But guess what? They invited me for an in-person meeting instead! My interview was at 9 AM CST yesterday. it was LOVELY. i genuinely enjoyed speaking to the Sr HR Manager. We chatted for almost 90 minutes. It went by so fast. I felt like I had answers to all her questions, however, I wonder if I was direct and clear enough? I haven't interviewed since 2021, and before that since 2016. So I know I'm rusty, I hope my enthusiasm for the role got noticed.

I should know by early next week if they will move me to the third and final round--meeting the VP of HR. The Coordinator will be responsible for managing the VP of HR's schedule in Google. I just learned how to do scheduling in Outlook, I'm sure I can do it in Google.

Anyway! I can see myself working there. The pay meets the market for that kind of job around here, and the benefits are exceptional. And the view from the admin building? Beautiful. There's just a small lane to walk through from the parking lot to the building. I felt like I was in Jane Austen novel. *Dreamy sigh.*

Fingers crossed.

Okay, so let's get the not-so-good stuff over with.

Caregiving for my father continues to be a challenge. I am the only one of his 3 kids he 100% trusts and is close to. I don't get a lot of support from my sisters because A) he prefers me to handle things and B) they don't offer. I always have to ask, and even then, most of the time I end up doing the thing anyway. Sigh.

I tried a bunch of adaptive equipment things for my dad in June. I bought him an electric tea kettle that sits in a cradle and tips over to pour so you don't have to lift it. Well, it works okay for that, but he can't see how much he's filled the kettle. So that went back. I found a pen that "talks" to you. That's been a game changer. You get special labels with bumps on them, tap the pen to the label, and you can record a sound clip! so i attached them to every medication he has in the house. he's been using the pen! Now I just need to convince him to use his white cane.

Watching my dad go through losing his vision has been very difficult. He's a completely different man than the one I knew just 5 years ago. Little by little, things are changing and that change can get overwhelming. I did manage to find him a peer to peer phone program for folks with low vision. He gets a call every month to chat with a lady name Yvies from New Jersey and just talk about what it's like being low vision. I am so grateful to her. The organization will be creating a caregiver support group in the fall and I am on the waitlist.

So, yes. I've gotten overwhelmed at some points, impatient at others, but I show up. In the future, I want to know, that without a doubt, I was there for my father. I just need to figure out how to balance this and find ways to get help.

I continue to miss Henry and my grandma.

Sometime between this past Saturday and Sunday, I fell ill. Like, nauseated, dizzy, lightheaded. [Content Warning: The GI System Going Whack] Then Sunday, I could not retain food or water. I held out for Monday and Tuesday to see if I got better with a little imodium and zofran. Wednesday morning at 7:30 AM, I called my doctor and she said, "Get thee to the ER."

So, I went. My mother was with me. In miracles of all miracles, I only had to wait an hour to be seen in the ER. I was there from 8 AM to 12:30 PM and in that period of time, I got an ultrasound, labs, an IV with a bag of saline, pain meds, and reassurance that my gallbladder and liver were doing fine. And no one misgendered me. It was a good ER trip.

The ER doctor and my PCP have no idea what knocked me out for 5 days. Could have been a virus. Could have been a side effect of mounjaro. It'll be a mystery for the ages, I suppose...

Of course, it took a huge toll on my body. Today was the first day I felt almost normal again. No bloating, no cramping, no burping, and no intense pain in my abdomen. Yay! I am supposed to be eating "light," but dammit, I deserved pasta tonight and I'm not going to regret it!

I also, in my journey through illness, reached the Medicare donut hole. I have to spend $8,000 before my advantage plan will start paying for my meds again. I have to pay 25% of the cost of all drugs. Thank goodness I was able to get on a patient assistance program for my antidepressant, because I could not afford it otherwise. I've moved all my meds, except two, to be generics. I am always trying to cut the cost down as much as I can, whether it's through GoodRx, OptumRx, or Costco. I spend most of my SSDI money on healthcare, medication, and treatments. If we had free universal healthcare, I would have been able to save up all this money, dagnabit.

The difficult things have been... well... difficult. But they are outnumbered by the good things, which makes me smile.

I am excited to be excited about working again. I am doing my best to visualize myself in that role, going into *my* office and sitting at *my* desk. I see myself growing in that department and becoming a specialist in all things HR. This is what I did as I interviewed for the 24/7 Helpline and I got that job. I saw myself getting on a train to Chicago every day until they'd let me go remote. I saw myself as a city queer again. I felt the train to the city already underneath me. I get that feeling with this role. I feel like, if I get it, I will have a Mary Tyler Moore moment.

She's gonna make it after all!

Thank you, if you've red this far. Thank you if you send good vibes for this Arb job. Thank you for just being here. Hell, thank you for being you.

One of my uncles will be visiting us from Chile in early August. I am eager for him to arrive and spend time with us. I know my mom could really use his support and sense of humor right now.

So I will be driving them (and my father, if I can convince him to join us) all around Chicago and the burbs. I hope to gather some TCV ideas from the places we will go. It's exciting to think about.

I really want to take a small trip to Cedarburg, WI. Spend a night there in a bnb, and take in all the shops and restaurants. But my car's oil needs to be changed and my brakes too, so I will have to hold off on traveling for a while.

I would like to get back to work because it's work, but I would also like to get back to contributing to my 401k, saving, paying off my medical debt and car, traveling, and actually affording medication without (too much) sacrifice. Medicare, I was told, would be cheaper than private insurance. Well, I couldn't afford a supplement, so I got stuck with an Advantage Plan. And it's not all that bad (I've met my out of pocket max), but man, do they make it hard to succeed in the system and this is a system primarily designed for seniors??? Sigh.

Anyway!

There you have it. A detailed account of things that I have been up to or coping with or working on since mid-May.

Hockey is gone. Thank goodness the Oilers didn't win the cup. Pavs retired. Wedgie was traded. Delly was traded. Faksa and Tanev were traded. We kept Dutchy, but that was about it. With a burning passion of a thousand suns, I hate Dumba and DeSmith. They will never be my Stars.

Okay. So. Where does this leave me now?

Well, I am slowly getting back "into" my work as an author. I'm hoping I can read a book or two in the next two weeks. I am inspired by the creativity of others and now that I've passed my exam, I have more free time to read and plot things out in my head.

It also helps to you know... not be extremely dehydrated.

Holy smokes, it's late. And this is long.

TLDR: Lots of caregiving, looking for jobs, studying, and recharging has happened in my break from writing. I am focused on securing a job at the Arboretum. I passed my SHRM-CP exam. I had an ER visit this week, but feel much better now.

Thank you for being here. Thank you for taking the care to read this. I appreciate y'all and the safe space y'all have made for me. I'm so glad I get to lean on this cozy, peaceful corner of fandom.

One last time--thank you.

Let's chat more.

-Cal

[pynkricee]

Permanent Red Stain: Part 3

(WARNING: TAGS: Slutty, Choso smut, bossy choso, sexy choso , 18+, Rough Sex. Unprotected sex, fluff)

KyiGo, is a woman in her 30's, divorced from her ex after 5 years of marriage, leaving her with a two year old daughter to raise. After a year of being single, trying to find self-love and her self-worth again, she finally wanted to step back out into the world and discover something worth wild. From understanding her hatred to understanding the person that it turned her into, she will always try and do what's best for her baby girl. Even if it meant sacrificing her happiness? Even if that may mean stepping into a new love she never imagined? Or breaking the cycle of being afraid to love again....

“So….what would you say to letting me take you out?” -Choso 

“So..Did you fuck her yet?”

“No…Gojo..’DAMNIT’! How many times are you going to fucking ask me that?” Satoru Gojo was the type that gave no fucks when it came to sexual emotion. He was pretty swift at personally turning his emotions off when it came to certain women. Probably because he was hurt so much, and most of it was due to the way he looked and how he carried himself. From my understanding and the little things he's said to be, Sato had a habit of keeping his guard up even if he felt like he was in a position to make the best out of a bad relationship. That was just him. He was waiting for the right one. 

 Gojo, stood 6’2, blonde, blue eyes and he was a sweet soul. He mostly stayed to himself and worked everyday, every week.  He was the official type who liked his peace and so did I. That was probably one of the only things that we had in common. 

“Until you tell me that you fucked her….” Gojo was my boy and one of the only people that I actually associated myself with. Satoru was a soft man...and he tried to hide it with everything fiber in his being. Coming to the tattoo shop was a way I could tell that he released his steam from his everyday life.  Not that I could blame him for it because I used to be in the same position he was in emotionally. 

Preparing my ink needles for tomorrow's appointments, I decided to close up shop early tonight for my date I had scheduled with  KyiGo. With Gojo being my left hand man, my brother Yuji would come in tonight and clean up a few retouches I had scheduled. Next to Gojo, Yuji was clean and crips with his work, when he wasn't being a smart ass to all the women who came in. I swear at times the women just came in to fuck with us like we were the “New Blood” in the city. This wasn't motherfucking Vampire Diaries let alone Twilight. So if they weren't with their boyfriends on the weekends, all the local women were hanging out at our shop for the night. (If you get it then you get it. It got to the point to where it was fucking annoying.)  

Jumping down into my tattoo chair, almost knocking it off its hinges, Gojo was being too nosey for his own good. 

“You going to tell me what she looks like or am I gonna have to guess? You know I don't like guessing…” 

I sighed sucking in my bottom lip. Just thinking about what she looked like made my dick hard at times and if Gojo noticed my reaction at the slightest mention of her.  “I'm not going to tell you, but I can show you.” Unlocking my phone I handed it to him. I noticed his eyes glimmered and he became quiet. His light blue eyes looked my way with his light bangs slightly pulling a shadow over them. (I've never seen him look at me like this before. Ever. Kinda made me wonder if he knew this girl.) 

“Does she know you have a picture of her?” He asked, slightly hanging the phone over his fingers.

I sneered the side of my lip up, snatching my phone back from him, sliding it into my back pocket. 

“Of course she does. I actually sent it to her.” (A picture of her and her daughter I took for family-fun day.)

“She's beautiful…” He sighed leaning back in the chair. He turned his head lazily towards me with his arms spread out on the arm rest. He let out a small sigh from the corner of his mouth, throwing his leg around the chair. “Don't fuck this up..Cho.” He stood up patting me on the shoulder and walked over to his station. 

My throat all of a sudden became dry, as  at the drywall in front of me. 

I hope I don't fuck this up….

Yes. He finally had the balls to ask me out because lord knows I didn't have the courage right now. And of course, I said yes…

For the next week whenever I picked my daughter up from school, Choso and I were always caught having a conversation.

Whether if it was about the smallest things, even if it was him complimenting me on any changes I made to my appearance. I could have changed my earrings and he would tell me how pretty they were or how they complimented my skin tone. I noticed my body language started to get more relaxed around him as well. I wasn't as tense as I was from the first time I met him. 

And for him having my number…..

He did call me when  it came to my daughter. Luri was really a boy in a little girl's body so she was constantly hurting herself while she was at school. But that wasn't any different than it was then when she was at home. She was tough like any other child, but she had her moments when she would cry for me and he wouldn't hesitate to call me to come to the school if need be. 

Now when it comes to my ex husband, I don't talk about him. I don't think about him. I don't dream about him. I hardly breathe around him.  The only time I communicate with him is for the sake of my daughter and that was it. Anything else was pretty irrelevant. When it came down to our relationship..it was a toxic one. One that I felt like I was alone the whole time and I was the only one doing the work to make it work. I cried so many times thinking to myself that I was a failure and what I was doing wrong. (When in reality it was mainly all him. And it took me to let him go completely to realize that. ) Dealing with someone who couldn't take accountability and never wanted to talk about our issues, was mentally and emotionally draining.. it was over-stimulating in the worst way possible. I knew I wanted something better for myself. A life better for my daughter. I wanted her to see what it was like for someone to love her mother correctly that way in the back of her mind, she would only accept that love in return within her older years. That's all I wanted for my baby girl when that time came.  

Saturday night finally hit after a stressful week. It was 8pm. The stars were so bright tonight. Almost like it was a sign that this was the perfect time for our date. We decided to try something different than what we were used to. A coffee and croissant date. I thought it was the cutest idea when he texted and told me the night before. The plan was to meet up around 9pm at Castain Park downtown. This was an open park with a beautiful water fountain in the middle that stood about 20ft high. It was mainly a place where students from the university came to study during the day but at night, it was a ghost town area. 

After dropping off my daughter with my sister that night, I spent a good amount of time getting myself prepared for this date. I didn't tell my sister any details about Choso. Yes my sister Dhay and I were really close. We told each other everything even when I would come down to our sex lives, but I didn't include her in any of this yet. I wanted Choso to be all for me at the moment and me only. I wasn't ready to talk about him or introduce him to my family or even my best friend.  I just wasn't ready. 

I decided on keeping my look clean and simple for the night. Tight white long sleeve, black wide leg pant, black Dynasty Combats, and my fave black trench. The makeup was simple and sweet like honey. Mascara, a couple beauty moles added to the many I already had. A soft red lip with my fenty beauty gloss boom over it. I straightened the top of my hair so it covered some of my undercut, but not the fresh designs I had got cut in layers for tonight's date. I added a touch of my favorite Billie Ellish number 2 perfume. Not too much, but just enough to where he couldn't get enough. All in all, my prescription glasses finished the look. I was so nervous at this point that I could feel my whole body shaking as I stood in front of this 20ft fountain trying to keep warm plus keeping my damn nerves from being shot and walking off. This was the first date I've been on in a while, so you can understand my frustration. 

“Hello beautiful…” I felt a small tap on the back of my shoulder and I Instantaneously calmed down. My breathing became shallow and my heart skipped a beat. I turned around, making eye contact with choso.  “ I was hoping to make it here before you did.” He said with a slight smirk. (God this man was so beautiful.) Holding a coffee holder with what smells like two Chai lattes and two cinnamon rolls, this angel came prepared. He stood above me with his hair down today, the sides tagged behind his ears, bangs hanging softly over his eyes. A white leather jacket, with a thick black turtleneck sweater. (But not too thick that I couldn't see his build bulging through it.) Light black jeans that cuffed his ass perfectly, so perfectly I could see his print fighting for its life underneath too. Hell yeah baby….you could cut the sexual tension we had with a knife. He sported a pair of black yeezys but to top off his look with a couple of black metal rings and a pair of simple studs in his ear. I couldn't help but bite my bottom lip when I was standing in attention in his sight. I wasn't going to try to hide it. Neither was he as he licked his lips, blushing as he looked down to the ground. “ Hmmp..” that little sligh sound he always makes out the side of his mouth as he rubbed the edge of his bottom lip with his thumb. (I swear…at this point I could feel my body on fire. The things I felt in this moment, were about to push me on the verge of tears)

(…fucking intrusive thoughts…)

Taking the coffee holder out his hand, we started walking to a nearby bench to have a seat. “You look very handsome Choso.” My face turned red as we finally sat down. I handed him his latte and his cinnamon roll. “Thank you Angel Bean.” 

Angel Bean? That was a new one. But it was so cute so I couldn't complain. “So what made you pick Castain Park out of all places?” I asked as I slowly sipped my latte and brought it down from my lips, I could feel some about to drip down my chin, but before I could catch it Choso brushed his finger across my chin catching the access with his thumb, then slowly began rubbing it in his inner lip to taste. His gaze then shot up to me, sultry and low, licking his lips after. My panties were instantly wet. So wet that I knew if I weren't  wearing jeans, I'd definitely leave a permanent stain. 

He leaned back taking the sight in then sighed. “No one really comes here at night so I thought this would be the perfect place for us to get to know each other better.” He sipped his coffee, spreading his legs open.. his knee touching mine. “So how's Luri?”

“Luri?” He was really asking about my daughter. Wow! (Can you be mine now....?)

“Yes Luri”? He giggled. 

“She's fine. She's with my sister right now.”

“She's such a good kid. I really enjoy being around her.”

Those words…. Meant a lot to me. Best believe I didn't take those words lightly, but from him you could tell it was sincere. “Yes she is. She's a mommy's baby. She's my everything ..Cho.” I never really discussed my ex with Kamo. He knew very little details but that was something we both knew from body language to never touch. It was the past and it was going to stay there until it was safe to talk about. He looked at me and smiled and I gave him the warmest smile I could, as I enjoyed every bit of his company.  

We spent about another hour at the park walking and talking. At one point he grabbed my pinky wrapping around his. I couldn't help but smile. To be honest.. I haven't felt this in a long time. 

The feeling of slight comfort and protection. 

 She really….makes me feel like a normal person. I can't fuck this up. -(Choso)

“Would you like to come to my house for a little? Get you out of this cold weather and warm you up” He asked, rubbing his hands aggressively up and down my back, pulling me into his chest. God… It felt so good…

“Yes, I'd like that!” 

Entering his 2024 Honda Crosstour, the car I actually wanted for myself and baby girl, sat up in 17inch rims, was dressed in all black everything. Dark tinted windows and black leather seats. This was my dream car and it was so sexy, especially on him.  Dammit … this… this really couldn't be real, especially when he turned the Bluetooth on to Lloyd Swimming Pools. No.. so not . This couldn't be real, but the puddle that decides to drip into my underwear was. Everything was so seductive and quiet about him and it made me so nervous. 

The ride to his house was so tense we could have literally fucked in the car in the fifteen minute drive… 

It was about a fifteen minute car ride to his house. I didn't pay attention to where we were nor at that moment did I really care. All my little attention was solely on him. His sexy plump lips, his dark hair he went ahead and tied at the top of his head into a messy bun. The muscles that stiffened out his sweater as he opened the passenger door, taking off his leather jacket, while helping me out. He then took my hand walking me up to his pitch black door. I could literally feel my pussy throbbing between my legs just by standing next to him. 

Opening the door to his home he let me in first, following me after locking the door behind him. Flipping on a light switch the first thing I noticed was a large, and expensive, off-black stereo system that stood up against the wall  that he connected his phone to. It automatically started playing Neyo Say-it ….

(One of my all time favorite songs! Its almost like this man knew exactly what I liked when I needed it ..)

Out of the corner of my eye I saw him drop his jacket to the floor.

“Kyi. Go…” He softly whispered behind me, placing both of his hands around my waist, gripping me tight. His breathing started to get  heavier as his grip got even tighter. So tight I could feel his nails slightly dip into my skin.

As I turned around, looking him in his eyes as my body twisted in his grip. “Cho…so..” I said softly as my eyes met his. His eyes low, full of desire and power for me. The type of power a man has when you know he has you right where he wants you. And that's where he had me…

 He aggressively leaned in kissing my lips as I let my lips match the movement of his. The kiss was wet and nasty. Our tongues fighting each other as if they were fighting for their lives. “Choso…” I moaned in his mouth, my face pushed forcefully on top of his. My hands grabbed the back of his nape as the kiss reached a deep passion of aggression. He then threw my hands to the side, taking off my coat and throwing it to the ground as our lips were  still locked as we leaned back from each other but our tongue tips still touching.  Slowly moving his hands down my hip dips, he gripped his fingers under my ass, lifting me up, walking me through a dark hallway. I felt this intense rage throughout my whole body as he carried me. Lifting my shirt over my head, I threw it on the floor and started to get aggressive as I grabbed the side of his face forcing him to put his back against the wall. My mouth went for the right side of his neck, my tongue engulfing every inch of him, as the taste of him rolled up from his collar bone, right below his ear where I softly bit into him. 

“Fuuuuuuuckkk….” He moaned out loud still having a grip on me. With his moan I bit harder which caused him to spin me into the wall. I swear for a split moment he had slightly knocked me out but when I came to, his face was not only just worried in that instant but he didn't want it to stop. I could feel the wall dent in behind me as he used one leg to hold me up and used his other hand to tear my bra completely off. His beautiful low eyes stayed fixed on mine as he then carried me to the bedroom. 

“Are.. you okay? I didn't mean to hurt you..” He whispered heavily in my ear as he held me in his grip. 

“It's okay..” I whispered back. My voice was shaken with anticipation of what was to come next, as I wrapped my arms around his neck. 

Opening the door with one hand he quickly threw me on his bed, taking my underwear off with my pants and shoes. He flipped the light switch on and stood there quietly for a split second, sizing me up  while I laid completely naked on his bed. 

“You're so fucking beautiful KyiGo and don't ever let anyone ever tell you any different.” I could feel my pussy leaking all over his bed with those words that just came from his lips.  My nipples. hard for him. My mouth, watering for him. My mouth needed to taste him and every part of his body needed to feel him. My body was shaking uncontrollably.  My pussy throbbed to the point to where it felt like it had a heartbeat of its own. 

He began to undress, taking off his sweater and tossing it to the closet door. His body was amazing. Especially the tattoo that tied around his waist. His thick fingers started undoing his belt on his pants, to finally dropping his pants with his underwear to the floor. Stepping out of them he walked up, his dick slapping his inner thighs. His dick was huge and the grith was deliciously thick. My eyes widened with fear at first, but as I calmed down, I felt it was just enough to fill me the way I needed to be filled. I happened to notice he also had a tattoo of a dove right above his waistline. It was so delicate but it was perfect for his stature. I couldn't take my eyes off it as my breathing became heavy, feeling the touch of his cool hands spreading my legs apart. 

“Look at me…” He whispered in a soft tone, using one finger to lit my chin up, making full eye contact with him. While using his other hand to take his dick, rubbing it against my sobbing wet clit. 

“Yes..Cho..”

“Don't stop looking at me ..”

I nodded. Obeying every command he told me. Gripping the sheets above my head with that one hand, he swiftly interested himself in me with the other. 

“Shiiiiiiiit Choso!” I moaned loudly, arching my back as my breast set up straight to his face. In that instant he shot his arm under me thrusting in harder as he groaned steering up the side of his face as he groaned deeply. (God he was so sexy when he made that face.) He moved his grip up my back forcing me to release my arch so now my focus was back on him. My legs arched around his waist pulling him in deeper as my mouth connected back with his. He began to kiss me harder as he hit my spot, moving his throbbing penis in and out of me as my body began to shake with his movements. “You feel so fucking good Choso…”

“ Tell me…” He began to pant, his mouth open as he looked down into my eyes. “ Tell me what you want..” He asked as our bodies continued to rock together, shaking his bed more violently. “Tell me what you want so I can give it to you”

“I want you to fuck me Choso…!” He leaned over licking my top lip. His thrust slowed as he wrapped his arm under my leg, pulling them over his shoulder. We both let out a loud Gasp of pleasure as if felt like he was hitting past my g-spot as he sped up. My hips matching his pace the best way they could. “Please Don't ..fucking stop…” I was cut off by my own cry as he bent down placing his tongue in my mouth. Sweat dripped from his forehead to mine. 

“ Fuck baby you feel so good.” He placed his other hand down on my stomach to keep me from moving as my clit quickly rubbed up against him as he used his force to move upward. “ Cum for me baby… I need you to cum.” I could tell he was about to give out at any moment as I felt his body shaking. “Fuuuckkk KyiGo you're so wet for me….” I tried to press his body back with my hand but he wasn't fucking having that. He lowered his face to mine, our noses touching. “ Move your fucking hand..” He said in a sultry, sexy ass voice, that made me feel like I had no choice but to obey him. “Now.. be a good girl..” He started moaning loudly.. “ Cum for me..”

I couldn't hold it any longer. Gripping the sheets with both hands, my eyes began to roll in the back of my head. Biting my bottom lips hard I felt my orgasm finally burst from underneath me all over him. My body began to shake violently as he suddenly grabbed my hips, pressing his fingers deep into my sides. My eyes filled with tears and my lips trembled as my pussy started to leak on his dick that was still throbbing inside of me. 

“Choso… baby… Im cumming.." I cried out loud as one of my hands tightly gripped his arms, my nails digging into his skin. 

“Fuuuckk Kyi…Shit….” He groaned out loud as his hot cum shot inside of my wet cunt. My pussy was still milking him dry as his body shook above  mine.  

He finally dropped my legs to the bed, breathing heavily with an accomplished grin on his face. Our bodies began to twitch with one another as he then collapsed onto me, both of us breathing heavily. I wrapped my arms around him, placing a kiss on top of his head. 

Shit….