#I had this image in my head for a while. I picture it everytime I'm anxious. Papyrus+asexuality is pure comfort for me

[papyrus-in-places-he-shouldnt-be]

Papyrus shouldn't be in the asexual flag

[tia-222]

I want to enter the void within this week. I have been trying and affirming right before I go to sleep and I can feel my body falling asleep or kind of vibrate like it's going numb but I never get in. Any advice or methods I can try out that might help?

Hiii my love, also it's been awhile since I answered a void/ Loa ask. I missed yall tho. Yess, I do have a method that you might wanna try and I think everyone should too. I'll share the method below with the links and stuff ♡

✩ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐊𝐑𝐀 𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐃 ✩

( This is a void state method and can also be used as a shifting method, but only use it for shifting post-void state as the whole point of this IS to get you into void state >:) if you use this for shifting it will be an awake method, but you can turn it into an asleep method if you prefer after you enter void ) Credits to Eros !!

This method has worked for me everytime I've tried it and usually takes about 5 minutes to enter the void. i have had minishifts while using this btw and my most powerful and intense minishift was actually when i first made this method.

For this method you need to be relaxed, i usually do this when tired but it works best when you're not drowsy, i dont recommended being tired to the point you’re about to fall asleep but moreso in a state where you think youll be up for about an hour more before you go to bed :smile: i HIGHLY recommend it is night time.

✧ Get in a quiet and DARK environment and turn on some theta waves, i HIGHLY recommended theta and/ or epsilon waves or binural beats. Make sure it is dark and nothing is bothering you. I'm ngl to you guys the ones i find most helpful are these here, ive literally had the most shifts with these than with any other sub/waves I've ever used, and I've also had the most powerful experiences with them.

✧ Lay in starfish, ik ik but this is very important for this method on its own, you won't have to fall asleep for this at all so dw about that. i recommend lying on your side for like 20 minutes beforehand so you’re uncomfortable on your side and lying on your back feels nice and welcoming. you dont have to be directly in starfish but make sure you're on your back and your limbs aren't touching.

✧ Relax your whole body, go from your head to your toes, release your forehead muscles, unsquint your eyes make sure they're relaxed, release tension in your shoulders, then your left arm then you're right and make your way down your whole body. Relax it fully and make sure there is no tension in your body.

✧ Now imagine your seven main chakras, see them in your minds eye and focus on seeing balls of white energy where they are. then start feeling the energy within your body. start from the root and count upwards to your crown chakra 6 times, feel the energy there and see the light get brighter and stronger. feel your eyes move beneath your eyelids as you go upwards (do not force this movement or try to move your eyes forcefully, it should happen naturally as you imagine focusing on different spots of your body). take your time with this and please dont rush it, you are supposed to FEEL. Here is a picture if you dont know the main chakra points.

✧ Now for the seventh time imagine the energy orbs connecting to one another, as you move up your body imagine the white light connecting from your root to your crown and creating a straight line of energy connecting your head to your toes, the second it all connects hold the image and focus on your third eye and the energy it holds, then release. the second you do this you should feel a sensation in your body and possibly see lights, you are in void state.

✧ From here affirm things such as “i am more than my physical body, i am not attached to a physical body, i am pure consciousness, i am in the void state” if you feel it necessary.

[bara-izu]

Do you have any advice on how to get over lack of skill? I want to do the Astarion Lestate trend but I don't think my skills are ready for it. I have references pictures of Astarion pulled up when I'm working, and even have the game launched so I can turn him if I need to (mostly for the attempts I did at his hair) but everytime I tweaked something or started over nothing looked right. I keep getting frustrated 😭

Hi anon- Sorry this took me a while to get to, i hope you and others can still find this useful! While the basic advise to get over 'lack of skill' is PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE! i hope this will help you knowig where to get started with that!

I'm going to put my teacher pants back on, this might be a bit long so buckle up- I'll go over a few areas:

Primitive Shapes

How to Use References

Delete your work (hear me out)

--------------------------------------

Primitive Shapes:

This is your foundation. Everything starts with this, and while you may find it boring to think of your art in terms of cubes and spheres- i kid you not it will help elevate your work.

If/when you are stuggling to draw a complicated pose, or a specific perspective, refering back to the form in these basic shapes can really help to simplify your process and help you problem solve.

A chill/silly watch for a more in depth discussion on what i mean / how this can help - Give Pikat's 'Draw boxes (correctly) to improve your art' a watch. They also mention this in the video but @/Uncomfortable on youtube also has some great fundermental videos.

-------------------------------------

How to use references.

Okay so references are great 10/10 very useful. But, unless you know WHAT to study from a reference, they can sometimes fall flat of their usefullness.

Anatomy studies are something a lot of us will be recommended as artists, but actually knowing what to pay attention to can boost your confidence in your work. Start with a goal, what do you want to get out of this sketch session? Do you want to get better at understanding the 3D form of a specific part of anatomy? Better at poses? Try to narrow down your learning each session to make it less overwhelming.

In this i'll focus on understanding the form so, lets start with a reference. Linking back to Primitives again, start off by braking down your anatomy into forms. Sketching over the top of your references is totally fine. But make sure you are doing so critically, otherwise it may look like a flat/unnatural trace and you're not really learning from it. Via the first sketch you can see where the primitive shapes fall on the body - think of it like a ball-jointed-doll, hips, knees, shoulders ect are ball socketed whereas arms, legs ect can be made up of tubes. (See the first image, when sketching your tubes, sketch your contour lines too- this can help determind how clothing / hair will fall over the body, and can help you understand the 3D Form.)

A BIG IMPORTANT SIDE NOTE - When using photo references, do be very aware that they may be distorted due to the height of the camera, or camera focal length - (you can see in my sketch i had to edit the torso and head because the reference was a little top heavy)

A few artists/books for some extra reading / reference : - Andrew Loomis (OG for body proportions, books are a little outdated but fundermentals are still useful), - Tenten云画画 (his stylised anatomy breakdowns are very interesting to me) - Anatomy Essentials (I've had this book for years, it covers lots of areas, is a bit complex though, i myself should reread it again 😅

Also, if you can't find a reference for a specific pose, don't be afraid to use 3D programs! Anatomy 360, DesignDoll, Clip Studio, Magic Poser - all nifty options~

SO taking when we've learnt from the primitive forms, you can now try applying that to the Lestrat Picture. (which, granted is a complicated pose, as it also has forshortening and an odd top down perspetive of the bottom character- so don't panic if you don't get it the first time!)

-------------------------------------

Final points- Delete your art (hear me out)

What i mean by this is, sometimes reworking the same face over and over again can bog your down. It can make it very difficult to actually see whats wrong. So, get rid of it and start again. (hide the layer/use a different piece of paper, please don't actually bin it (yet))

Next, redraw it. Use what you've learned the first time, and redraw it from scratch. (in this case, that might be just specifically the head, or the hair, or the eyes ect - you don't have to bin the whole thing, but sometimes it can really help give you a new perspective)

Once you've done this, unhide your original, compare, this may help you understand what you were doing wrong the first time. Or if there are areas of one that you like- its an opportunity to combine them as you see fit! :)

On a side note for Astarion's Hair, the lovely @mistercrowbar actually posted a breakdown yesterday! (i use p much the same method so-)

I HOPE this was of some use- do feel free to ask any questions if you've got them! i'll try to answer in a more timely manner next time 😅

[more-cardigan-than-woman]

Jason todd x reader

Where the reader is an artist and draws eyeballs on her hand when she gets nervous and Jason notices it and starts kissing the readers neck everytime he catches her idk I think it'd be a cute scene in addition to your roomates series

Sure thing. This will get me nice and warmed up for finishing part 7.

Before they were roommates,

Warnings" swearing, pre fic, written on my phone.

"Jay, I don't know that this is a good idea," You worry your hands together. The cold air of the interrogation room blasts down your back and sends goosebumps over your skin. Shit, you've really fucked it now, you're homeless, jobless and have nowhere to go. Jesus, the only reason you're still somewhat holding it together is because you happened to run into Jason while fleeing your apartment and he insisted on bringing you down here to make a statement.

"We can go. You don't have to report this. I just thought it would help," Jason's watches as you pick up the pen and twirl it in your fingers, your eyes staring at the police report like it's going to grow arms and punch you.

"What if he comes after me for this?"

"I won't let him."

"You're not with me all the time," you fiddle with the pen, the tip of the pen tracing over the soft skin of your palm, "And it's not like I've got anywhere to hide."

"I know we haven't know each other long-" His eyes catch on the tiny eyes you've drawn on the back of your hand, "what's this?"

"Oh, just a nervous habit," you put the pen down, unaware that you have even started to draw them again. "Ok," you sigh, "I'm just going to do it," you start to fill out the paperwork. Your eyes catching on your eye covered hand. It was a weird habit, but it always brought you comfort. The idea that someone was watching was seeing the things you were doing and taking note. That even though sometimes you felt alone, you would always have the watcher.

"Give me that," Jason smiles at you, taking your hand and blurring the images under his sweaty palm, "can I tell you a secret?" He whispers into your ear, "You're not alone anymore," his hand wraps around your head, "you don't need those pictures to watch over you," he presses a kiss into your hair as you lean in towards him, "You've got most of my family wrapped around your little finger," he smiles into your hair when you laugh, "it's true, shit. You're like the princess of bloody Wayne tower."

"So, if I'm the princess. What does that make you? My knight?" You tease, signing your name at the bottom of the report. Letting out a breath of relief that you had actually done it.

"If you like. I think I'd make a good knight,"

"A knight of Gotham," you laugh.

"I think it's time this knight got the Princess home, don't you?"

"I ah-" fuck, where are you going to go? There's no way you can go back to your apartment.

"You're staying with me," Jason says matter of factually, "so I can keep an eye on you, Princess."

[blueicequeen19]

Cabin Fever Pt. 2

My heart sinks in defeat as JJ walks away with a shake of his head, letting the door slam behind him. John B moves his lips up to my neck but I pull away, tugging my shirt on. My heart actually hurts at his rejection. Sure, John B was hot and there was no denying the attraction but JJ was indescribable. I craved him despite his attitude and shitty looks. Why stake his claim, forbid John B from having me, if he wouldn't claim me for himself?

"I've never seen him act like this over a girl before." John B says, sitting down at the table as I warm up my coffee and force the tears away.

"I don't know what his problem is." I grumble, tying my hair up in a bun as I lean back against the counter and sipping my coffee.

"I think it's you. I think he hates that he wants you so bad. You're making him crazy because you won't let him claim you." John B grimaces, just as put off by the word "claim" as I was. Why was he being a caveman about this? "And because you let me touch you." John B adds, letting his eyes descend my legs with that knowing smirk.

"He could touch me too if he'd stop being a dick." I grumble, moving to the front door as I try to spot where he disappeared to this time. A moment later, I hear the Pogue start up and leave the dock. I throw the door open as JJ drives away, heading into the marsh.

"What the fuck?" I gasp as John B moves around me and watches JJ leave, shaking his head.

"He just needs some space." John B mumbles.

"He's going to get arrested. If Shoupe sees him, he'll go to jail."

"He's just going out to the marsh. He won't go into town. Relax, he'll be back." John B goes back inside, leaving me feeling more rejected than I already was. He really had to get away from me?

Another week goes by, the hostility worse than before now that I'm aware of their pissing contest over me. I take refuge in my room, reading romance novels that I found while I was snooping. They didn't help the ache inside me. If anything, it was worse. I kept picturing JJ fighting for me instead of against me. It didn't help that everytime I turned around, John B was eyeing me or offering his services or slipping his hand up my thigh at the dinner table. My restraint was slipping and my pussy was soaked.

That's why I was hiding in the hottub, my body submerged up to my neck except one hand so I could keep reading my dirty book. My other hand was circling my clit as I read a scene between the two forbidden lovers cornering each other in the stables. They couldn't keep their hands off each other as clothing was ripped away and he buried himself inside her, clamping his hand over her mouth to keep her quiet so her father wouldn't hear.

My head falls back on the edge of the tub as I get lost in the images in my head. I was panting when a warm breath suddenly hit my cheek, his arm disappearing under the water and tugging my bikini bottoms to the side as he stroked my pussy. I didn't open my eyes, refusing to ruin my fantasy.

Please be JJ. Please be JJ.

His other arm circles me, grabbing my nipple under the water, his lips finding my neck in a burning kiss. This was JJ. The growl in my ear as I moaned only confirmed it as his fingers slipped inside my pussy.

“Oh, fuck.” I cried, picturing JJ angrily taking me on any available flat surface. His palm presses into my clit as his pinches my nipple and I cum with a cry, turning my head and slamming my mouth down over his. He doesn’t hesitate in kissing me back, jerking his hand harder and quickly tearing another climax from me. My back arches and he’s able to sink his fingers in deeper.

Fuckkkkkkk.

My body finally stills as we breathe into each other’s mouths. His nose brushing mine so gently. I savored the smell of leather and his usual JJ smell as we stayed like this. Why couldn’t it always be like this?

“You’re driving me crazy.” He whispers, running his nose up and down mine. I stay silent, afraid I’ll break the spell.

“Were you thinking about me?” JJ asks. I lean in and kiss him again, feeling his stubble against my chin.

“I always think about you.” I whisper, turning to face him as he stands on the ground outside the tub.

“Then why are you doing this?” JJ presses, withdrawing his hands.

“Doing what? I’m allowed to be attracted to both of you and John B is a lot nicer and more willing than you are. You look at me like I’m a whore yet I still want you regardless.” I snap, splashing water in his face. The mood is ruined as his face twists into a scowl. I stand, snatching up my towel and book and heading inside. I barely make it on to the enclosed porch when he catches my arm, spinning me around to stop my retreat.

“Get off.” I push at him, dropping my stuff as he all but throws me on to the couch.

“Get undressed.” He growls, tearing his shirt over his head and dropping his shorts.

“Why?” I snap as he gets completely naked.

“This is what you want, isn’t it? You want me to fuck you? Then fine. How bout John B and I take turns? He can take your mouth while I fuck your pussy.”

“Stop it. Guys can want more than one person but girls can’t? Maybe I’d care more about your opinion if you were my boyfriend but you’re not.” JJ comes down on top of me with a condom in his hand, pressing a hard kiss to my lips.

“If I was your boyfriend, you’d have a permanently red ass. You’re in need of a fucking attitude adjustment.” His knees are between my thighs as he starts to grind against me causing fire to burn in my blood.

“Why aren’t you my boyfriend then? Why do you hate me so much? You’ve been shitty to me since I met you and even worse since I’ve been stuck here with you. It’s not my fault I got stuck here.” I pant. He presses harder against me, pinning my body with his own.

“I don’t hate you.. I hate how badly I want you. I don’t want to want you. You’re going to ruin me and my life is hard enough. I don’t trust myself around you.” Ruin him? Why would he ever think that?

“Then get off of me. If I’m so bad then someone else can claim me.” JJ shakes his head as he kisses me, his hard cock pressed against my stomach.

“Try it and see what happens.” JJ growls.

“Maybe I’ll let John B in my room again tonight. Maybe I’ll let him fuck me. And I’ll moan your name while he does.”

“He’d only be doing it so he could stop thinking about Sarah Cameron.” My chest caves and he must see the hurt on my face because he climbs off me, pulling on his boxers. I wasn’t looking for anything serious from John B but it still didn’t feel good knowing I was being used in more ways than one in this household.

JJ let’s the door slam on his way out and a creak from the floorboards tells me that John B is here and witnessed the whole thing. I sit up in the couch as he steps on to the porch, leaning in the doorway.

“Sarah Cameron, huh?” I ask, trying to feel less used but it doesn’t work. John B gives me a soft smile, sitting down and putting his arm around my shoulders to try and comfort me. I let him pull me in, because all I wanted in this moment was a hug.

“We want what we want.” John B says, resting his head on top of mine as the first tear falls down my cheek.

[eyelessfaces]

Do you think Llewyn would be a girl dad or a boy dad? I think he’d want two kids of each gender. But it takes a while for him to get a son then well Llewyn’s not complaining. 👀 Basically he’s got a breeding kink.

ough well so in my head I have a very specific headcanon of how your first kid "happens"

it's not planned, of course.

and llewyn is kinda getting used to it, so when you tell him you're pregnant, he immediately figures out you wanna get rid of it, and he hates himself for getting you pregnant and making the both of you go through this.

he's a bit shaken when you tell him you want this kid with him, but from the moment you try to convince him that he would be a great dad he is deep down all for it.

and I'm saying "deep down" because it's still hard for him. it takes him a while to get used to the idea that he will become a father for real (he technically already is with diane's kid, but well...... yk) and that the rest of his life is gonna be dedicated to his kid with you. life has already tried to drown him in shit multiple times, and he's scared it's gonna do the same with this kid, but he also hopes it's gonna do the exact opposite and light it all up for him.

and it happens to go very well. you have a boy that you name mike, and he is his dad's dead ringer. same big brown eyes, same dark curls, and you're even wondering if that kid truly has your dna and if he truly came out of you :') llewyn keeps on telling you that he has your nose and mouth but you can't see it. you even asked his sister to see a picture of llewyn when he was little and you swear that mike is the spitting image of his father.

surprisingly, adjusting to this new life isn't going so bad? music is going well, so llewyn doesn't have to run around the city all day to look for gigs, so he can take care of mike.

llewyn is absolutely obsessed with mike, and likewise. mike is so attached to his dad, if it wasn't so adorable you would be jealous as hell. the way mike reaches for llewyn everytime and the way his little fingers tug on his beard whenever he's in his arms never fails to make your heart burst.

a couple years go by, and llewyn is the one to ask you if you want another kid, because he does. and from now the breeding kink is unlocked👀 and the sex that comes from it is heavenly. maybe he gets a bit rougher, because he really wants to give you another kid. llewyn is usually a one round type of guy, but he wants to be sure that it takes. pretty sure you even leave mike with llewyn's sister and go away for a weekend but spend the entirety of it in bed because he's that determined to knock you up

and after a while it works and you're pregnant with a girl, and to answer your original question, he's BOTH a girl dad a boy dad, trust me. llewyn is obsessed with both his kids. his girl is his little princess and he'd die for her. he would definitely write songs about her and sing her lullabies with his guitar😭 I'm crying

and he definitely loves you even more for giving birth to his angels. he sees you as a goddess tbh.

(this got extra long lmfao sorry I was inspired. I had started a 'llewyn being a dad' headcanon post a while ago but it never saw the light of the day but I was able to incorporate some details from it there hehe)

(send me llewyn headcanons!!)

[countrymusiclover]

13 - I See Only You

Everything Changed At 21

Part 14

Tag list @bvbwestfall @abaker74

Readers I just realized something when I went back and read the chapters. So Chloe's not dating Luke's manager 🙄 I meant to put she's with his friend Carter 🤦‍♀️ Sorry my bad

1 week later

The trip home from Nashville was awkward for me. Chloe and I spent most of the time with Tate and Bo. Because I can't bare being around Luke. Chloe's tried convincing me to hear him out but everytime I think about it the image of him and Caroline kissing comes back to remind me. Climbing out of the bunk on the tour bus I sighed walking around because I couldn't sleep. Pulling opened the door I plopped down on the couch watching the landscape pass outside the window at 1 in the morning. Foosteps came around causing me to lift my head expecting Luke but it's actually my best friend. Chloe gently closed the door coming to sit across from me on the long couch. "You really should hear him out Y/n." She tried seeing me roll my eyes with a scoff. "There's nothing I need to hear from him, Chlo. I saw and heard what I needed to. He wants to get back together with his ex wife. Fine go right ahead. Once we're back in Indiana I'll never have to see him again." She opened her mouth to rebuttal but I raised my brows at her with a glare where she changed the subject to herself instead of my ruined relationship with a country music star.

"Well I might be taking a trip a few days later when we get home...with Carter. He finally asked me to be his girlfriend." She held back her smile until I fling my arms around her in an exciting hug. She wrapped her arms around me smiling too. Through all the craziness with Luke somehow she manages to fall in love with his friend while on tour. Even if I was furious with my boyfriend you could say, that didn't mean I couldn't be overjoyed for my best friend. For the remainder of the time until we got tired we just talked about her and Carter which I was perfectly fine with at the moment. The next time I wake up we're outside my house and Chloe was in the driveway talking with her boyfriend. Grabbing my bags from the bus I heard someone stop on the stairs when I set my bags down on the driveway. Rising to my feet I paused seeing Luke leaning in the doorway a weak smile on his face. Walking up to him it takes everything in me not to run to his arms and kiss him. To follow him wherever his music career would take him and his two little boys. "Thank you for letting us come along...it was fun." Sticking my hand out I waved bye before he waved bye to.

I've been asleep for most of the day since all that traveling took a lot out of me for a few weeks. Rubbing my eyes I was expecting some missed calls or texts from Luke where he would be begging me to forgive him but there's nothing. Laying in the bed I started scrolling through pictures from the tour. The first one that came up was me and Chloe squealing on the bus. Then it was me with Bo and Tate playing a game. Chloe jumped in a few of those pictures too. There's even some of her and Carter on here when her phone died so she used mine. Yet those aren't the ones that made me start crying, it's the ones of Luke and I. There's the picture from my 21st birthday, some pictures of us singing on stage. I covered my hand with my mouth finding the picture of our first kiss. I had changed my lockscreen picture to me and Chloe since the old one just was too emotional. Thinking of Chloe her picture popped up where she's calling me but it's not a video chat which was strange for her. "Y/n, I have awesome news. Carter has an extra ticket to a concert tonight so I thought you'd want to come."

"Oh I don't know Chloe...I'm not really in the mood.. " I trailed off really just wanting to lay in the bed and not think about Luke. "Come on girl please...for me. I promise you'll have fun." Running a hand down my face I want to say no but I knew she was serious when she would beg me to do something with her. "Fine I'll go. Can you guys pick me up." She immediately replied yes hanging up the phone. Pulling on some jean shorts and a flannel shirt I grabbed my boots from the front door. The drive was silent where Chloe tugged me inside a completely dark area since it was almost midnight. She pushed me into a seat sitting directly in the middle of the pit before a spotlight came on and we saw Carter holding a microphone in his hands. "Carter what are you guys up to?" I questioned trying to get up but Chloe holds my shoulders down so I couldn't. "Chloe and I can see you two are miserable without each other. So hear my man out because it's not what you think..." He holds the microphone for a second before the spotlight changes onto Luke sitting on a barstool.

He has a guitar in his hands with his eyes locked onto mine. He started playing the cords singing a song I didn't know so it must have been a new one. "Roll in the bar, me and my crew. Their little plan to get me over you. They're hookin' me up, yeah. Buyin' me drinks with a thousand girls. There's just one thing. I can't go anywhere, I can't do anything. No, I can't close my eyes without you in my dreams. You won't leave me alone, even though I know you're gone. I look around for someone new, but I see you. Jumpin' up there with the band. Takin' me by the hand. Hey boy, come dance with me. Stuck like a melody in my head in the bed of my truck. By the light of the midnight moon. Baby, I see you.." He got to his feet handing Carter his guitar so he climbed down from the stage. Chloe stepped away from me as I avoided his gaze until he dropped down on his knees taking my hands in his. "Y/n, I know what you saw but just hear me out. Caroline kissed me that's what happened. Carter and Chloe can even see it happen on the security cameras that night. She grabbed my shirt when I was signing someone's hat. But I never kissed her back I swear...I never cheated on you baby and I never will..." He paused letting tears fall and I realize I was too when I sniffed right when he blurted out. "I love you, Y/n L/n." Flinging myself into his arms he fell backwards onto the floor crashing my lips onto his deeply. He wrapped his arms around my waist kissing me back until I broke it finally saying something to him. "I love you too, Lukey Bryan...you're the first guy I've ever said that to before. So I love you too." Chloe and Carter both grinned throwing their fists in victory up into the air.

Comments really appreciated ❤️

[free--therapy]

+ it's anon! I've divided this ask into sort of two parts talking about intrusive thought and the association but separately! I hope you don't mind and I'm sorry for the trouble 😭

to explain the intrusive thought more clearly, the intrusive thoughts that the ceiling fan or any attached ceiling object reminds me of just seems very 3D or real this time. it affects me more than other intrusive thoughts is because su*cide is kinda a triggering topic to me.

usually, if it's an image popping up only in my head, then if I stop overthinking about it then it goes away and doesn't return. if I do end up remembering it again once in a while, it's still "just" in my head so it's okay.

but this is more realistic so it's harder to not get reminded of it again and again. for example, if there is an image of a headless doll or soft toy, then if it's just an image someone remembers in their head it's easier to think nothing of it. but instead, if you imagine a real doll like that placed on a couch or chair or table near you or attached to any wall near you, like as in your real life, the image seems realistic right? as if it's there really so it seems scary.

that's what I mean. it's like when I'm in a room with any ceiling objects like a ceiling fan, my mind ends up creating that realistic image related to it and obviously it's triggering.

on top of that, even if I'm not necessarily looking at the fan or in that general direction, even so it's like it's there in the background even if I'm not looking at it. which is crazy because I know it's just an image. I mean, I feel like what if it ends up being some ever present image/thought? I mean, no one wants to have that disturbing of an image always popping up in the room right? like even if I look away, what if I keep feeling or imagining it to be there? something like that. but what can I do about it?

I think this is because when that image first popped in my mind, I reacted to it in a very anxious way. I had all sorts of what if thoughts in mind like "what if this image always stays there?" "as in whenever I'm in a room, even if I'm doing something on my phone still what if I always keep feeling like that image is always there hanging over my head?" "what if it never goes away, then will I always imagine this being there in every room I'm in?" etc.

Right from when I first had it, I've sort of, in a way, already ended up convincing myself that this intrusive thought was "different" than others and it was a huge problem that could make me miserable or something. because just the idea of getting that disturbing image everytime I get conscious of a ceiling fan/object sounds so scary to me right now.

and this makes me scared of it becoming another association. what I mean is, in case of those pet videos, I only remember the intrusive thoughts when I saw cute pet videos or pets in real life so it wasn't a constant reminder. and it didn't bother me anyway because I didn't get bothered or triggered by that association.

but in this case, most times I'll be sitting in some sort of room, so will I constantly remember that thought too? and unlike those other thoughts, here it doesn't simply look like a thought in my head. but it's more like an actual image happening in the room. the moment I look even in the direction of the fan or ceiling, my mind picture it there which is scary. so I really don't want it to be an association. but is it even in my hands?

I mean, it's not like I can choose whether it ends up being an association or not right? so what can I do?

how do I respond everytime my mind makes up that intrusive thought? even if I end up remembering it when I see a ceiling or a closed room or even if I'm reminded of all the worries and what ifs that I've attached to that intrusive thought, either way, how should I respond whenever I remember any of it?

I mean, you've read this but you aren't affected or scared of having that image or association when looking at ceiling fans or ropes right? so how can you do that?

when I tell myself "this is just a thought, it'll pass" it takes my attention off the thought temporarily but the moment I'm free, I think of it again involuntarily. I mean, how can I not? because it's not something that's just popping in my head anymore, it's an image/thought that I imagine in real life in the room I'm in every time I look at or even think of closed room ceilings or ceiling fans or the like. it's as if it's there in real life.

it's like my mind purposely creates that image again and again to see how much I can really not be bothered by it.

how can you or anyone else be unaffected by the idea or not get reminded of it again and again everytime they look at it too? is it because you're not scared of having the image all the time?

how do you rationalise this?

oh and I had some questions about the association in general too!

so umm like I've already mentioned that any pet videos online or even when seeing any pet offline reminds me of something or other. by something or other, what I mean is sometimes it might put a random intrusive thought/image in my mind but most times, all it reminds me of is just the thought that I used to worry about it? something like that. like many times, it's not even an image, I simply just get conscious in a way that's all.

I mean, many times when I watch any pet video on social media or anyone with their pets irl too or something, all that happens is I'll simply remember the vague thought that "oh I had worries over this" or something.  sure once in a while, it can be an intrusive image too but again its a vague thing that comes and goes without me bothering because I don't engage with it in any way.

what I mean is there's nothing about the association that triggers me as such. it's just a pointless association that just makes me conscious but I let go immediately because it doesn't affect me.

which brings me to the point, if I can shrug it off so easy and if I'm not bothered by it at all, then why does the what if bother me? I mean, when I think "what if those contents always remind me of something or anything about the topic?" or even simply "what if I always keep getting conscious whenever I see something that reminds me of it?" these what ifs bother me. 

what I mean is the content of the thoughts that I remember is not bothering me at all because it literally doesn't even stay in my mind for a few seconds even, I can easily dismiss it and move on and it doesn't trigger me at all but still the idea of having that "association" for a long time is so bothersome.

maybe it's because I think of the association as an inconvenience so while I'm okay with it when it pops up, the idea of having it that for a long while is scary to me. how can I deal with this?

even if I did want to get rid of the association, what can I even do? it's not like I can tell my brain "don't remember xyz even if you see something that reminds you of it" so what do I even do? I mean to ask, what should my goal be here? should it be to learn to not be bothered or anxious even if something reminds me of something I don't wanna remember? or should it be to not remember it at all? but is the latter even possible?

we cannot control what thoughts we have or what reminds us of something but we can control how we respond to it right? so is that the goal? as in not to try to stop the association but to learn to be okay even if I do have associations?

like can any person have negative or unwanted associations that they get reminded of from time to time? as in, is it normal for anyone and everyone to have associations? I've had it about those let videos maybe someone else has it about something else....but either way, is it common for any person? that's what I wanted to ask.

can any person have unwanted associations like these about any xyz thing? and what do people normally do when their association reminds them of that thought/memory? how are we supposed to deal with them? how do you deal with your negative or unwanted association thoughts?

what do you think about this?

and if anyone can have associations about anything which can be unique to them, then is it that what differentiates me right now and anyone else is that maybe normally people who aren't as anxious don't overthink their associations or worry about "how long they'll have that association" and just let it be?

because I was like that the past year and half too, never used to overthink my associations and never wondered "if I'll have them for years? or how long I'll have that association?"

it's just the past three-four weeks I've started thinking about all this out of nowhere. so I've been wondering what separates the two situations and also, how I can learn to move on from it?

Hey Anon,

It sounds like your anxiety is worse when you're thinking about the thought coming back up again rather than the thought itself. I understand why that would be a concern because it's obviously disturbing to a point where you don't want it to come up, but worrying about it almost seems like it's likely to be brought up again, which continues your cycle.

how do I respond everytime my mind makes up that intrusive thought? even if I end up remembering it when I see a ceiling or a closed room or even if I'm reminded of all the worries and what ifs that I've attached to that intrusive thought, either way, how should I respond whenever I remember any of it?

I mean, you've read this but you aren't affected or scared of having that image or association when looking at ceiling fans or ropes right? so how can you do that?

I suppose it's because my mind already knows that there is no associated harm or danger to me and sees that ceiling fans serve a positive purpose rather than a negative one. Of course I can also picture what you're associating with it, but I guess because I no longer have thoughts about harming myself that I don't make the connection affect me in the same way either. Objectively I'm able to see a different perspective aside from one that can be disturbing and my mind chooses to go with the safer one because it knows that I wouldn't do something like that and that even having a disturbing thought like that has no affect on my actions. Knowing that I can choose to think more positively about something helps me to let go of the need to hang onto something negative or disturbing.

I mean, I used to have a loooot of irrational fears growing up as a child and my parents never validated or comforted me when I used to go to them with them. I would get made fun of for them and I hated it. I hated that I had to deal with my fears on my own, but once I was able to figure it out, I was able to apply it to so many of them. Fear/anxiety can come from just not knowing about something, so trying to understand why something is bothering you or affecting you so much helps you to no longer be afraid of it. In your case, I would ask myself why something like that is bothering you. Could it be something you've thought of doing? Is it something you hope you never do? Are you worried that it being in your mind will make you want to do that? And then go from there.

which brings me to the point, if I can shrug it off so easy and if I'm not bothered by it at all, then why does the what if bother me? I mean, when I think "what if those contents always remind me of something or anything about the topic?" or even simply "what if I always keep getting conscious whenever I see something that reminds me of it?" these what ifs bother me.

I think it's because you're worried about going back to that mental state again that you were in when it was a big deal for you. Your mind is always going to be testing you to see if certain things are still a reason to have your survival mode activated because it did at some point. You just have to keep reminding your mind that it's not a threat and to continue on. You have to ease your mind by reminding it that once it's determined something is no longer a reason to kick into survival mode anymore (activate anxiety), then you can let it go now.

we cannot control what thoughts we have or what reminds us of something but we can control how we respond to it right? so is that the goal? as in not to try to stop the association but to learn to be okay even if I do have associations?

Yes! We can only control our mind and how we react and look at things. You cannot change the situations themselves. A lot of the time anxiety is a result of people wanting to control certain situations or outcomes because they haven't realized that the only thing they can control is their mindset and how they think about something (shifting perspectives)

and if anyone can have associations about anything which can be unique to them, then is it that what differentiates me right now and anyone else is that maybe normally people who aren't as anxious don't overthink their associations or worry about "how long they'll have that association" and just let it be?

I think that everyone at some point has some sort of irrational thought or fear that haunts them for certain periods of time, based on their ability to challenge them and rationalize them. Some people know how to tackle them and disprove the thoughts right away, while others may need help from someone else (they need another perspective), and others just don't know any better or are afraid to tell anyone about it, so they sit with the same irrational fear for a long time until they finally get to a point where they do something about it. The associations and fear ends when you want it to end and when you want to start taking action against it. Some are easier to handle than others, but it doesn't mean that you'll be dealing with it forever. You're already making way to figuring out how to handle them and that's better than a lot of people who are still afraid to do anything about it because they think they have to be stuck living with them forever.

[qillmhi]

So I'm like... Never a fan of the 'Imma kill my bros for u' kind of scenario especially since I very much love all the turtle bros, so here's my version of an obsessive lover 2012 Mikey!

🖤🧡🐢

Dark!2012!Mikey x Reader

-Michelangelo is the youngest out of the four turtle brothers, so he was easily the most childish and energetic one, much to his older brothers' annoyance.

-He was loud yet small. Just a few inches shorter than you. A social butterfly, but can be oblivious to most things.

-Mikey may not be the smartest turtle, but he does have own way of getting what he wants.

-And he has his eyes dead set on you.

-When he first realised his crush on you, he openly welcomed it with zero resistance. It felt great being in love so why should he deny it?

-He loves expressing himself so there was little to no filter when he's showing you his love.

-"(y/n)~!!!!" Mikey threw his arms around you "I missed you so much!!!!!" He cried in excitement rubbing his cheek on yours.

-You laughed at the youngest turtle and placed your hand on his head "Mikey! I just went for a glass of water!"

-"Yeah! But you took sooooo long so I still missed you!"

-He would be all over you. Wherever you go, Mikey is expected to be following close behind.

-Sometimes without your knowledge.

-Whenever his brothers weren't looking, he would slip by to your apartment to watch you sleep.

-But he did it to make sure you're safe! Don't worry!

-He would always be the first one to tackle you as soon as your foot entered the lair. Then proceed to trap you in a cuddling session with him for hours before anyone could get to you.

-"Oof--!"

-"Dibs on (y/n)!!!!"

-"Ow--Mikey!!" You groaned in protest.

-"No time to talk dudette! Look--" He held up a glowing flower watch "--it's hug time!"

-You squinted your eyes at the familiar looking gadget "Did you force Donnie to make you that hug-watch thing from the Trolls movie?"

-"Maybe~!" Mikey avoided your eyes "So hug time...?"

-Physical contact is his love langauge! Mikey's insides would be all mushy and gushy if you respond to them even the slightest bit. And if you return the favor? This little boy will melt into your arms!

-When you do ask him to let you go, he would just simply say "Nope!" popping the 'p' then proceed to tuck himself below your chin.

-"Awwh come on!!"

-Everytime he feels your soft hands scratching his shell, he immediately starts churring in delight. You thought it was cute, so you'd pat him in the head which made him even more happy!

-He can't help it! Mikey is just obsessed with how soft and plush you feel against his skin! He would definitely glue himself on you if you'd allow him to.

-"You are so squishy~!" Mikey mumbled against your shoulder while hugs you from behind for the nth time today.

-You flicked his forehead earning yourself a small 'ow' "And you are a big baby."

-You didn't mind his clinginess thankfully. It was just Mikey being cute as always. For real how can you resist this baby?

-He's loves it when you give your full attention to him. But if you're talking to someone else, he would just simply have an arm over your shoulders. Silently brooding towards the intruder, giving them a silent warning.

-If the boy isn't hugging you or initiating some kind of physical contact with you, he would be content holding the hem of your shirt or any kind of clothing you own (he may or may not have kept a few in his room that he may or may not have been using as a pillowcase to cuddle). Something that became a norm whenever he's at your apartment and you preparing both of your meals.

-Damn he loves your food! It was then only food he worships other than pizza! He especially loves watching you cook. Like an angel preparing to give him heaven.

-Speaking of Heaven.

-This orange fluff have TONS of pictures of you saved in his phone. If you ever made the mistake of sleeping in the lair, this guy is just snapping pictures of you in every possible angle. Sideways? Upside down? Close up? Bird's eye view? They all made you look perfect!

-His wallpaper is a selfie of you and him enjoying your home made chocolate icecream pizza that you made just for him. Aren't you just the sweetest? He considers that as your first date even though you two aren't official.... yet.

-I mean you made that treat just for him so it must mean that you return his feelings right?

-As time went by, his little crush for you grew into something more.

-You were starting to see his brothers and your other friends a little less and him and little more.

-It was just Mikey. Only Mikey.

-Just the way he likes it

-Everyday you'd wake up and find him cuddled up to you. When you ask him what he's doing he would just look up at you with his innocent baby blue eyes and say "But cupcake! I'm cold and you're suuuuper comfy~!" Cue those puppy dog eyes and you're 100% powerless.

-He would bring you all sorts of goodies like food, favourite drinks, movies, videogames--anything he could carry just for you!

You couldn't say that you didn't like the attention. Mikey is just so sweet especially whenever he brings little trinkets saying "They reminded me of you!" With that adorable freckled smile of his! It just makes you blush every time.

His innocent sweet smile just melts through your heart!

His brothers thought it was weird when he's always out and about after training and patrolling. But hey! The lair is a lot more quiet and Donnie doesn't have to worry about his stuff being broken anymore. Besides they knew you, you were a great friend so they trust you.

After a while you started to miss your friends. Having Mikey around was fun but you wanted to see what the other guys are up to these days.

One day you decided to visit everyone in the lair with pizza and had a great time chatting and playing with the turtle brothers. Oddly enough Mikey wasn't there.

But he was. Mikey was there. Hidden in the dark corners of the lair. Not even his brothers noticed him. His smile was gone. His eyes were dark as he kept himself one with the shadows, silent as a ghost.

He didn't like the way you were smiling with other people. Of course he was fine with letting you talk to his brothers sometimes, but still there were some boundaries to be made.

"Mine..." Michelangelo silently growls.

Although he doesn't favor this image of you with other people, he does take pride in the way your eyes would flicker to his bedroom door every now and then. Good. Very good.

Finally it was time for you to go. He immediately left. Time to take action.

When you got home you saw your favorite orange turtle curled up on the floor sobbing. Your heartached at the sight of the big crocodile tears falling from his face.

-You dropped down on your knees and asked him what was wrong.

-"I was waiting for you here all day b-but you didn't come home... you left me.." He cried miserably "I-I understand... if you don't want to h-hang out with me anymore... no one really wants to. I p-promise won't bother you anymore.." Mikey sniffed then left before you can get a word out.

-That was three days ago and you haven't seen Mikey since. He stopped visiting, stopped replying to your calls or texts. He was just gone.

-You realized just how much you loved having the small orange ninja around. Your home became cold and lonely. You started to miss him terribly.

-You went back to the lair, ignoring the others as you went straight for Mikey's room and knocked on his door.

-Mikey opened the door for just a crack. His eyes were red from crying. He looked absolutely miserable, but you pushed the door open and pulled him into a hug.

-You apologized to Mikey. You told him that it wasn't your intention to make him sad or feel neglected. That you loved having him around you.

-Mikey hugged you back of course. He closed his bedroom door to give you both privacy while you continued to hold him tight.

-He nuzzled his snout on your chest and told you he missed you too.

-Your soul ached when his shoulders started to shake. You placed your cheek on his head with your hand on his shell to calm your crying turtle.

-Except he wasn't.

-Mikey's smile was as wide as it could ever be. His eyes held a victorious sinister glow as he felt his entire body shake from excitement when he as in your addicting scent.

-Mikey was a good liar.

-He didn't mean to make you this sad. But he had to in order to make you come to him.

-And believe me when I say those three days of not seeing you was torture to him. Sure he had a folder full of your pictures saved on his phone (and his cuddle pillow) but it just can't compare to the real thing.

-But it was worth it though.

-He already had you right where he wanted you. He just needs to give you a little more push for you to confess your love for him and you two will be happy together forever!

-He knew he couldn't keep you to himself. You would surely retaliate if he forces you.

-But that doesn't mean he can't push you into making you claim him as yours instead.

-Oh how it feels so good to be in your love and care again!

-Mikey started churring as he pulled you even closer.

-Yeah Mikey definitely wasn't the smartest.

-But he's definitely the most cunning.

-And he would do anything to have you.

[arunikas]

𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒓𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓... 𝑵𝒐 𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒃𝒊𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒗𝒆 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒏, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝑲𝒂𝒂-𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏'𝒔 𝒃𝒂𝒃𝒚, 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓.

AO3

The creak of the door being opened sounded so lonely on that quiet night. The room was dark, only the hanging moon on the black sky showered its gentle light to lit it up a tad bit, enough to make out said room's occupants.

Hinata peeked through the small crack of the door, seemed like Boruto hadn't noticed her presence. She looked at her son's back, letting his body to surrender on leaning to the chair he occupied. He stared solemnly on the open window, gazing at the tiny sparkles of the stars;  on how they beautifully painted the black blanket covering the world with their little twinkling glitters, making the night sky seem less lonely and empty.

"I know you haven't gone to sleep, Boruto." She quietly walked into the room, making herself known to him. Her steps landed on the wooden floor so lightly, without giving away any sound; it made the sing-song of the crickets more apparent for their ears to hear.

"Kaa-chan, what are you doing here?" he turned back to face his mom. 

"Aren't you sleepy, Boruto?" 

"I'm good." He replied while giving her a curt smile, before taking his gaze back to fly with the stars.

But she knew. She could see him like an open book, everything was drawn so vividly across his face. He wasn't alright, nor was she. Her gaze flickered ever so slightly on the little bottle containing some black tiny ball of pills. The remembrance of what Naruto explained to her about their son's condition was brought back to life in her head. The mere sight of those pills was like a slapping reminder of the havoc they would likely face on whenever time it may greet them. All those trains of thoughts were already making her chest clench. She felt so desperate.

She immediately took her gaze away to the arrays of pictures of her family, sitting so lovely on the study table. There were some pictures of Boruto when he was still a baby, tiny fist stretched out as if to reach the sky, twin pinkish cheeks still full of baby fat, and the pure glowing blue orbs were brimming of life and conveyed happiness. 

Her fingers delicately traced the picture, her lips unconsciously tugged up forming a smile sugarcoated by the blooming love. Images of the past were flashing on the back of her mind, reminding her of how far he had grown, though she felt like it was only yesterday when she heard his very first cries.

"You've grown so much, huh, Boruto…" her voice was so small and holding the delicacy that always gave him comfort everytime it landed so gently on his hearing.

"What's it, Kaa-chan? Of course, I'm a big boy now!" He sounded more cheerful than before.

She let out small giggles, "Sure, Kaa-chan's baby is not a baby anymore."

“Hey, don’t call me a baby, Kaa-chan,” he pouted, a faint blush was dusting his cheeks.

Her hand reached out to cradle his cheek, her tumb moved to caress it softly, as if trying to pour out all the love she had through that touch.

"It's still crystal clear in my memory, how I used to pick you up in my embrace whenever you couldn't sleep. And how your tiny fingers would reach out to play with my hair, and your face nuzzled against me, basking in the warmth while I hummed you lullaby." 

His head surrendered to lean on her palm, eyes half closed by the comforting warmth emanating from her simple touch.

They stayed like that for a moment. The wind slowly blew inside the room from the open window, licking their skin in a leathery way and trailing little, chilly sensation by every bellows. She moved over to close it, then walked back while her hand slowly reaching his arm, pulling him up from the chair, and leading them to lay on the bed. He didn't protest, when she hugged him into a cuddle he never realized he had been longing for so long. Just like the good old days. When all he worried about was sneaking to skip his naps, or tiptoeing to the kitchen to secretly eat more candies, or coming to Hima's room when their parents were asleep to play camping and making a tent out of their blankets.

When everything was still so happy and easy; so colourful and shiny.

"Would you like me to stay here tonight?"

He didn't answer but only nodded his agreement. She started humming her old lullaby she always used to put him to sleep, while her palm gently caressing his golden lock, feeling it slip through the gap of her fingers. She felt how his embrace slightly tightened around her torso, as if he didn't want to ever let go.

"You are safe, Boruto. You are safe… don't worry… everything would be fine…" she whispered softly.

"You have to believe in what Tou-chan said, okay? He is the Hokage and of course, he will protect this village. But, before anything else , he was your father first …" 

She felt the even breathing of his body, and how he got more and more relaxed as he went further into his deeper slumber.

"And, remember… No matter how big you've grown, you are still Kaa-chan's baby, forever."

We will protect you, no matter what.

Ok ok, I know we got a father and son moment in today's episode. It was so touching and wholesome *sobs and I'm so thankful for that. But, but! I also wanna see Hinata comforting her baby okay? Because he deserves it. And I think she has the same right to give it to Boruto just as much as Naruto. So, here you have it.

And, I couldn't help but imagining this scene because Boruto mentioned about him sleeping like a baby when he hangs out with Team 7. And, yepp big baby Bolt for ya!

Thank you for reading, much love.

Your soft marshmallow,

ㅡ𝚊𝚛𝚞。

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

COSMIC - S1:E4; Chapter Four, The Body- [Pt. 1]

A Will Byers x Male!Reader Series

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘺 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘌𝘭𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘠/𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘺 𝘰𝘥𝘥 𝘴𝘺𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘨𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘧.

|| 𝟑𝐫𝐝 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐏𝐎𝐕 ||

Mike flips through the drawings Will had given him what seems like ages ago. He found himself unable to tear himself away from one of Will's favorites. It was the party. But they were their dungeons and dragons selves. Will the Wise stood proudly amongst his fellow party members. Together they stood triumphantly.

Mike was pulled from his thoughts at the sound of the feedback from the supercomm.

"Can you please stop that?" He asked exasperatedly at El, who sat in her fort fiddling with the device.

El looks to him, before returning to the com, the crackling of the feedback whining throughout the room.

"Are you deaf?" Mike snapped.

El was determined to keep tinkering away.

"I thought we were friends, you know? But friends tell each other the truth. And they definitely don't lie to each other. You made me think Will was okay, that he was still out there, but he wasn't. He wasn't! Maybe you thought you were helping, but you weren't. You hurt me. Do you understand? What you did sucks. Lucas was right about you. All along."

El's eyes bore into Mike's as he yelled at her. However, she sat there, unfazed before turning back to the com. With the final crackle, the distinctive voice of Will Byers rang over the comm and across the room. He was singing.

"So come on and let me know, Should I stay or should I go?"

Mike slowly looked up from the picture and towards El, goosebumps littering his skin. She was looking to him expectantly, blood dripping from her nose.

"Should I stay or should I go now? Should I stay or should I go now?"

Mike jumped off the couch and ran to El, who slowly handed him the walkie. Mike stared at it in disbelief as he listened to the unmistakable voice of his best friend.

"If I go there will be trouble. If I stay it will be double."

Mike gladly took the comm. His finger pressed firmly on the speaker button he practically yelled into the speaker. "Will, is that you? It's Mike! Do you copy? Over."

El stares at the boy, wishing she could help him more. Alas, she knew Will would be unable to hear him. The room was met with the dreaded static of the other line as Mike waited for a response that would never come.

He tried again.

"Will, are you there? Will!"

Mike saw the look on El's face, knowing she had done her best. He dropped his hand to his side.

"Was that...? Was it...?"

El gave Mike a bittersweet smile.

"Will."

There was a soft knock at the door.

"Michael? Hi, honey. How are you feeling?"

Karen poked her head into her son's room.

Mike stuttered as he lay under the blankets, and she crosses the room to sit at his bedside.

"I, uh... I don't think I can go to school today."

"Oh, that's fine, sweetie. I need to drop off Nance, then I'm gonna check in on Barb's parents. Why don't you grab a book or something and come with me? We can stop by the video store on the way back, pick out whatever you want. Even R-rated."

Karen offered, a small smile on her face.

"I think I just want to stay home today. I mean, if that's okay?" He asked, tentatively.

"Well, are you sure you're gonna be all right here by yourself?"

"I think so."

"Okay." She sighed, patting her son on the arm comfortingly."If you need anything, call Dad at work."

Mike softly nodded his head.

"Okay."

"Okay."

Karen leaned forward and kissed her son on the forehead before stepping out.

"Bye." Mike softly called after his mom.

She turned to him as she closed the door, a smile on her face.

"Bye, sweetie."

As soon as his mother closed the door, Mike jumped up from under the covers, fully clothed. He reached for the supercomm on his bedside table and extended the antenna.

"Lucas, do you copy? Lucas, come on, I know you're there! This is urgent. I'm serious."

Mike stood up from his bed, continuing into the walkie. "I'm not gonna stop until you answer. Lucas. Lucas!" He took a deep breath. "Lucas, Lucas, Lucas, Lucas, Lucas... Lucas, Lucas, Lucas, Lucas, Lucas, Lucas, Lucas--"

"Go away, Mike." Lucas had sat up in bed, frustrated as he extended the antenna.

"I'm not in the mood, all right? Over and out."

Before Lucas could close the supercomm antenna, Mike's voice had stopped him.

"No, not 'out.' I'm not messing around, okay? This is about Will. Over."

Lucas paused, not letting himself get his hopes up.

"What about Will? You mean about his funeral? Over."

"No, not his funeral. Screw his funeral!" Mike spits.

"What?"

"Just get over here stat. And bring Dustin and Y/n. Over and out."

|| 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕 ||

I blink away the tears as I stare at the same wall my eyes haven't left since I woke up. Lucas saw me and Dustin off and made sure we got home. My whole body has been numb since last night. The image of Will laying lifeless on the gurney hasn't left my mind.

I never would have believed it but, I wanted more than anything to be at school rather than staying home today. Mom thinks it was the stress and trauma that made me sick today, but whatever it really is, she insisted I stay home.

I locked myself in my room as soon as I got home, Dustin had filled Mom in on what happened. She had woken me up this morning, apologizing and asking if there was anything she could do to help. But she couldn't do anything. Nobody could. Will, my best friend, is gone.

Apparently, I was burning up because Mom began freaking out when she felt my forehead. I didn't feel any different apart from grief and heartbreak.

"Alright, Pumpkin, I called the school and they know you're staying home. I wish I could stay with you but I can't miss another work day. I'll be back at the regular time, and you know what number to call if you need anything, right?"

I felt her hand rub my shoulder as I never broke eye contact with the wall. Tears were falling freely down my face, through my scalp and into my ears ears pillow. My left arm had become numb from laying on my left side.

"Mm." I couldn't even bring myself to speak.

"Bye, sweetie."

I heard her footsteps recede followed by the closing of my bedroom door.

I closed my eyes, trying to sleep. But every time my eyes closed I saw it all over again. Will being pulled from the water. I tried to push through it. But my mind began creating scenarios of how he fell in. Countless images of him stumbling over the cliff. Or even the horrific thought of his already lifeless body being tossed into the water by a faceless figure that I only assumed to be his murderer.

Countless, horrendous scenarios playing like a slideshow in my head and the second wave of pain washed over me as it felt as if someone reached into my chest and squeezed my heart into dust, while another hand punched my gut.

I rolled over on my back, I felt the anguish surging through my veins and all the way to my fingertips as a wave of anger erupted from deep within. I heard items fall to the floor somewhere around my room and I figured that in my fit I had slammed my fists too hard against my bed, shaking the room somehow.

I quickly dismissed the odd thought and the second wave of hot tears streamed down my cheeks.

My palms began to sweat as I felt my body temperature rise out of what I could only assume was anger. That must be where my fever had come from but I still didn't understand how that all happened.

I was angry my best friend was taken away from me. I loved him, and he was the closest friend I have ever had. And now he's gone. I still refused to believe it yet my mind was cruel enough to replay the worst moment of my life everytime I close my eyes.

Sniffling, I wiped my eyes and sat up. I couldn't stand being alone with anything else to think about and I looked around my room for anything to take my mind off everything that's been happening.

My eyes scanned the room and then they fell on the all too familiar mix tape Will had lent to me just months ago. A bittersweet smile had made its way onto my face and I got out of bed. I put the tape in the boombox and pressed play.

"Should I stay or should I go?"

I sat listening to Will's favorite song and I felt a different wave of emotion wash over me for once.

I think it was a stubborn hope.

[laskyy]

Hey guys! I'm back from my little break! Sorry for talking so long, but now I'm back and that's all that matters! So now let's get to the imagine!

(Btw this is gender neutral)

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You're all that I want

Tw: mentions of food and drinking water, kissing, mentions of making out (let me know if I missed something)

Genre: Fluff

------------------------------------

It was currently 10 p.m. and you were with the boys of P1h on their practice room. You were Theo's best friend and he invited you to come see him practice, because he knew how much you liked to watch him perform.

"Hey guys, what if we played something?" Jiung suggested as he took the final bite out of his food.

The members had already finished practice and you guys were all just talking, eating and goofing around as usual.

"Sure, but what should we play?" Intak asked as he too finished eating.

"Well we could play truth or dare!" Keeho said excitedly as he picked up his water bottle to take a sip.

"Okay, sounds good! What do you think Y/n?" Theo asked while he softly looked at you.

"I'm down!" You said as you becme shy due to Theo's gaze.

"Me too!" Said Jongseob as he smiled.

"Yeah, let's play!" Soul said as he clung onto Keeho.

"Okay I'll start!" Jiung said. "Uhmm... Jongseob, truth or dare?"

"I'm going with truth!"

"Is it true that you think you're better than Eminem?"

"WHAT? OF COURSE I AM!" Jongseob said as we all started laughing out loud at the youngest's confession.

"Okay Jeminem it's your turn!" Jiung said as he wiped a tear that he shed because of laughing.

The game went on for a while and everyone was getting kind of tired and besides that you still had to clean up the place before going home! So you agreed to play one more time and then everyone would clean up, but things didn't really work like that.

"Okay, Theo truth or dare?" Intak asked like an excited puppy.

"I want to go with... Dare!" Theo answered while smiling. God his smile was beautiful.

"Well..." Intak started but stopped when Keeho whispered something that made the puppy like male smirk. "I dare you to stay here with Y/n and clean up!" He said and everyone besides you and Theo started cheering.

"You can't do that! We all agreed to clean up together!" Theo said trying to sound mad, but he sounded quite excited... Did he want to be alone with you?

"A dare is a dare my dear friend! So have fun cleaning up!" Keeho said while smiling.

"Do I not get a say in this?" You asked kind if shocked by the while situation.

"Well... No! Bye bye!" Intak said as he waved goodbye left the room with the other members following suit.

"Jeez! Sorry that this happened!" Theo said while looking at you with an apologetic look.

"It's fine Taeyang! It isn't your fault! And at least we have each other's company while we clean up!" You said as you smiled at him.

"Yeah you're right let's clean up so we can go rest! I'm sure you're tired!" He said as he patted your head softly.

"But definitly not as tired as you are! You killed it during practice!" You said smiling att the blush forming on his cheeks.

"Thanks Y/n, that means a lot coming from you!" He said as you guys started cleaning up.

Your little cleaning session was made up of you guys talking about random events that had been happening and laughing with each other while cleaning the mess on the floor. Once you were finished you went to the door to open it in order to walk home.

"No no no no no no!" Theo said as he pulled the doorknob as hard as he could.

"What's wrong Tae? Why isn't it opening?" You asked as you watched the boy in front of you struggle.

"It's locked! The boys must have locked it out of habit! Oh my god and they're probably already at the dorm!" He said as he put his hands through his hair.

"Okay let's calm down! You can just call one of the boys or something and they can come unlock it!"

"You're right, you're right!" Theo said as he picked up his phone to call Jiung since he was the last one to exit the practice room.

"Hello?" Jiung said.

"Hey Ji, uhm did you lock the practice room door?" Theo asked trying to sound as calm and collected as he could.

"Uhm no I didn't! I even left the key next to your bag so you wouldn't forget to lock it when you're done."

"WHAT? THEN WHY DOESN'T THE DOOR OPEN???" Theo said very distressed and because of that you put your hands on his shoulders in order to calm him down.

"Bro I don't think anyone is is the company at this time! You'll probably have to wait until tomorrow but I'll see what I can do!

"Alright thanks, I guess." Theo said.

"Bye!"

"Bye." Theo ended the call with a stressed look on his face. It's not that he didn't want to be with you, it's the fact that he feels bad that you had to be dragged into this situation.

"Calm down Theo, we'll figure something out! But now while you seem stressed we should distract ourselves alright? Now come here, I can tell you need a good hug right now." You said in a soft tone while you opened your arms for Theo and he gladly wrapped his arms around your body in hopes to relax and feel some warmth. You really loved being hugged by him.

Some time passed and you guys finally let go of the hug while making eye contact with each other, but you broke it off for being too shy to look at him for any longer.

"Uhm.. How about we talk about our first times doing things! Like your first time riding a bike and stuff like that!" Theo said as he still had his hands rubbing up and down on your arms.

"Sure! That sounds fun. Who's going first?" You asked as you both took a sit on the now clean ground.

"I can start and ask you something if you don't mind!" Theo said gently.

"Of course! Go ahead!" You answered while showing a small smile to Theo.

"Okay then, your first time having a partner, like romantically. How was it?" He asked with a teasing smile on his cute face.

"Oh my god! Well it was in middle school I think! The most we ever did was hold hands and then he broke up with me because my hands were too sweaty!"

"Really?!? Oh wow!" He said as he started laughing at your story.

"Yeah, oh well. It's my turn now! Let me think... How about your first kiss?" You asked innocently, waiting for his answer.

"Oh uhm this is embarassing actually, but I've never kissed anyone before." Theo said as he scratched his neck and laughed awkwardly.

"Oh it's okay Taeyang! You don't need to have had your first kiss at a certain age! If you didn't find the one yet, then just wait! It's better to wait to have it with the right person than to just have it to get it over with, you know?" You said reassuringly as you grabbed his hand and rubbed soft circles on it.

"Yeah I guess, but I think I already found someone." He said still not looking in your eyes.

Even though you were his best friend, you had strong feelings for him and the fact that he said this kind of hurt your feelings, but you couldn't just ruin what you had with him. You'd much rather have him as your best friend than not having him close to you at all.

"Oh, that's great Theo! You should tell them!" You said with a heavy heart.

"Well, I think I already made it obvious to who I like, but I don't know if they got the memo." He said as he finally looked at you blushing.

"Do you think the person likes you back?"

"I mean, everytime I display affection, they blush and they always hug me longer, but they might just not want to appear cold, so they reciprocate the affection."

"Maybe you should tell them clearly that you like them!" You said while looking down at your feet.

"But the thing is I'm awful with words!" Theo said while running one of his hands through his pink hair (I know his hair is not pink right now, but I pictured Theo from the image above for this imagine).

"Then maybe a certain gesture, like gift them something, like a letter or whatever." You said hoping he'd let this topic go.

"You're right! I can do a gesture, but maybe I could do something that would show my love to the person through affection... I COULD KISS THEM! Oh wait but I don't know how to do that... YOU COULD TEACH ME!"

"CHOI TAEYANG ARE YOU OFFICIALLY OUT OF YOUR DAMN MIND?" You yelled as you were shocked he would ask you such a thing.

I mean, sure, you always wanted to kiss Theo, but not just as a one time thing... You wanted him to be yours only.

"C'mon! I trust you with my life and I promise you that things won't stay awkward afterwards! Please! For me!" Theo said as he kneeled in front of you with both of his hands clasped together as he gave you puppy eyes.

You weren't going to accept, but then you thought this might be your only chance to kiss him, and as selfish as it sounds you wanted him just for yourself and for a moment you could have that.

"Fine, but just this once!"

"THANK YOU! YOU'RE THE BEST! I LOVE YOU!!" Theo said as he hugged you so hard you both fell down.

"Y-you're welcome." You said shyly, because of the proximity between you two.

"Can we stand up for this? I think I'm tired of sitting down!" Theo said as he stood up and straightened his back.

"Sure, it's fine! Wow! I never thought I'd be in this position with you!" You said as you both giggled softly.

"Well, but you are! Better make the most of it!" If only he knew.

"Okay now, for this you should be holding the person you're going to kiss in a way that's comfortable with them."

"Okay, since I'm kissing you, what do you prefer?"

"Well you can put your hands around my waist if that's okay with you!" And as you said this, his hands were around your waist and he was smiling sweetly in your direction.

"Right, what's next!" He asked enthusiastically.

"Well now you need to get closer and just do it. You need to move your lips against your partner's in a way that you enjoy, this doesn't have some sort of formula or something, you just have to go with the flow. And you might wanna picture that I'm the person you like so it's more enjoyable for you!"

He got closer to you as your lips were barely touching as he said "I don't need to imagine anything, when you're standing right in front of me. You're all that I want."

You barely had time to process what he said because he looked in your eyes and closed the gap between your lips softly and you felt as if you were on cloud 9.

You guys were lost in each other's lips. For someone who never kissed someone in his life, Theo was amazing. Your lips fit against each other's perfectly.

He moved his lips against yours in a very slow motion, almost as if he was calculating what his next move would be. You mentally gasped when he took one of his hands that was on your waist and put it in your hair as he deepened the kiss. You didn't feel fireworks like they all mentions in the movies and books, but instead you felt warmth, you felt loved, you felt high on his lips, and you never felt this way with anyone ever.

You and Taeyang kept making out. It seemed like you just couldn't get enough of each other. As if the moment you let go, the world would end. But much to your dismay, Theo pulled away from the kiss to breathe and you couldn't get enough of the sight in front of you. Your favourite boy was standing in front of you with his hair disheveled, lips slightly red and a boyish smile on his face.

"Are you sure you never kissed before? Because my god!" You said as he giggled and pecked your cheek softly, a gesture that made you blush.

"And also, what you said before you kissed me... Did you mean it? Do you like me?" You asked as your voice only got smaller. But by the look on Taeyang's face he still heard you.

"I do mean it, I always did! And I should have confessed first and then I should have courted you and only then kissed you. But I just saw an opportubity and took it. But I truly had never kissed anyone before, you were my first!!" Theo said as he smiled at you.

You didn't have words to answer so you just put your arms around his neck and kissed him as passionately as you could. Theo reciprocated the kiss and this time he went all out and even dared to lick your bottom lip, a gesture that surprised you to say the least but you granted him entrance anyway. Your tongues moved in sync as you held on tighter if that was even possible.

You didn't realise how long you guys were making out until you heard the door open.

"Guys we made I-OH MY GOD MY VIRGIN EYES!" Intak yelled as he appeared shocked by the scene before his eyes.

You guys quickly pulled away and soon the members entered the practice room and they rapidly caught on what happened as your guys' lips were slightly swollen and your hair was a mess.

"Theo! I didn't know you had that in you man!" Jiung said as he put his arm around Taeyang's shoulder. "And Y/n, I'm glad you like our Theo back! He never shuts up about you! It's always Y/n this, Y/n tha-"

"Alright! They get it Jiung! Now let's go to the dorm, me and Y/n are tired" Theo said as he interwined your fingers.

"I wonder why you're tir-OW! WHAT DID YOU HIT ME FOR?" Keeho yelped as Theo smacked the back of his head.

You all went out to the dorm and while in the van you and Theo couldn't help but share small kisses to express how happy you were. Not only you got to kiss Theo as he is now your lovely boyfriend!

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Hope you liked this imagine guys! I decided to post it sooner to be able to finish Intak's imagine in time for his birthday! By the way this wasn't proofread so if there are any mistakes I'm sorry! Let me know what you thought of this and please do request something if you want to! Love you guys 💖💖

[normatural]

JJ MAYBANK┊ I SEE YOU

Summary: reader think that she's subtle about her crush on her friend, that is until someone bring it up.

Warnings: language. Y/N/N stands for your nickname :)

A/N: I'm suffering with writer's block (because I'm not really into my writing rn) and I made myself write this. For those who requested something: I promise I'll work on it but I don't want to just write it and it turns out bad so I'll need your patience, sorry :(

...

Outer Banks was your favorite place on Earth, not that you've had opportunities to know another place that wasn't the mainland, but the place was your home even with some unpleasant aspects. Being able to hang out with your friends whenever you were free, watch the sunrises and sunsets on the beach or going to get some waves always made it amazing.

Today was one of these hot summer days that made you and your friends get in the van and search for a different spot to spend the day, after all of you vowed to make this the best summer of your lifes.

Kie and you were laying on one of the rocks on the beautiful waterfall you found after some hours on the road, enjoying the warm and welcome feeling of the sun kissing and tanning your skin while the boys were on the cold water, constatlying jumping from the cliff or splashing water on each other, complaying everytime someone would spill their so precious beer.

Eventually Kie joined them in the water, saying that she needed to cool down her body. The boys cheered when she got in and you smiled, unlocking your phone to take a few pictures and videos of the moment but what you didn't notice is that a certain blonde head was missing among them.

You almost dropped your phone when JJ's tanned body dropped on your beach towel next to you, resting on head on your hands for a few seconds to recover from the small heart attack that the boy just made you experience as he laughed.

JJ would be lying if he said he didn't took the time to let his eyes roam your body, taking in how beautiful you looked glowing in the sun wearing the yellow bikini he loved so much on you. He’s quickly though, bringing his gaze to the sky above him as he notices your head turning to his direction, shooting him one of your ‘you’re dead’ glances and he answered with one of his side smiles that never failed to make your heart skipped a few beats.

JJ was always a sign for your eyes, even more when he was so carefree. You hoped your eyes didn’t take as long as you thought while you got lost in how bright and beautiful his blue eyes looked in the sun or how his tanned toned torso was glistening with the small droplets of water or the way his blonde locks where all over the place.

“Do you want a picture, princess?” you could feel all the heat going to your cheeks as the words left his lips, looking at you with his smug smirk when you flipped him off. “Aw, come on! Don’t be like that, Y/N/N”

you turned around to lay on your back, looking at the bright blue sky that you couldn’t help but compared to the eyes of your blonde friend.

“Actually, come here” you sat up and JJ arched his brows as if asking you why. “I’m claiming that photo now.”

Earlier this month, you had let them know that you wanted to fill your wall with photos you took during your adventures. You wanted to look back at all these little moments captured in a small piece of paper when you were old, show your children and grand-children what life was about. A photo with JJ would hold a different story though, he was for sure your first real love and you wanted to remember his face forever and what the both of you would’ve looked life you had made a move.. which wouldn’t happen – you didn’t want to ruin what was probably your best friendship.

It only took a few seconds for JJ to sit closer to your, he took your sunglasses and put it on upside down, sticking his tongue out really close to you cheek as you couldn’t help but laugh at the image mirroed on your screen, pressing the camera’s button before you felt his tongue leave a wet strap on your cheek.

“Oh, you didn’t!” you gasped, looking at him in time to see his face contourting in a disgusted face.

“Oh yeah, I did it and you taste like sunscreen.”

JJ got um from his place, groaning about how you could stay boiling so long under the sun when there was a beautiful waterfall just right there but you only shrugged, going back to edit the photo.

“Hey, is that the bird you like?” He narrowed his eyes looking towards the trees on the other side.

“Where?!” you followed his gaze, trying to make your mind notice the colorfull leathers of the animal but all you could see was the green of the leaves.

JJ was swiftly in his movements due to years mastering his cleptomaniac carrer. He pulled the phone from your hands, throwing it on your open beach bag before he pulled you to get up by the hands, holding you bridal style as you let out a high pitched scream.

“JJ, don’t you dare!” your eyes widened when he started carrying you to the cliff, hands holding you thigh.

“Hold your breath, princess” was all he said before he stopped a few meter away from the edge, running for the fall as the cold in your stomach only grew.

The colder was definitely much colder than you expected, making goosebumps rose all over your body.. or was it the way JJ’s hands still held you close to his body? You gasped when you hit the surface, not wasting anytime at slap JJ who backed off laughing.

It didn’t take long for the chaos to errupt between the group, laughs and playfulls threats filling the empty hidden waterfall you splashed each other faces, occasionally ending up with someone trying to run away from a hand wrapping around their ankles to pull them completely under the crystalline water.

Kie, John B and Pope were currently discussing about what they should do next weekend, maybe a party on the boneyard? Smoke in a quiet and weird place?

You weren’t paying to much attention to the conversation anymore, your minding drifting back to acknowledging the beauty of the moment and the nature that surrounded you and how that made you so lucky even though your pogue life wasn’t something you could scape. This moment made you realize that you didn’t need those big and expensive boats or expensive branded clothes – not that it would decline if you had the opportunity – but you were alive, had a family – that most of the times, wasn’t the easiest to deal with – and your amazing friends. Those were the things that mattered to you and you wouldn’t trade that for all the money in the world.

Distracted, you didn’t notice a fixed glare on your direction before you felt something grab your hand, or better, someone.

“Come on. I gotta show you something” JJ had that excited smile dancing on his lips as you let him pull you to the direction of his discover.

There was a small wall of rocks in the middle of the way, which only complicated things for your clumsy self and served to make JJ laugh and tease the hell out of you.

“Really? Those are like baby rocks, Y/N” he was already on the other side, holding his hand out for you to use as a support while you were too focused trying to don’t slip again to answer his provocations.

“It better be worth it, Mayb–” your voice faded when you shifted your gaze from your steps to the beautiful, small and hidden natural pool in front of you. This one was much more beautiful than the one you were minutes ago and you smile like a child in a candy shop.

It’s beauty looked magical.

You almost jumped to hug JJ, intoxicared by the energy the place just gave you. It took him a few seconds to wrap his arms around you, caught in surprise, as you repeated thanked him and he brushed it off.

“Sorry.” you mumbled, pulling away from the small act of affection, all the heat going to your cheeks as your eyes tried to focused on anything that weren’t his blue ones.

JJ’s hands found your arms, keeping you in place before you could go any further and he brushed a strand of your wet y/h/c hair away from your face.

You could hear your heart beating faster with the proximity and the way his eyes watched you. Could he hear it too? You hoped not.

The boy couldn’t say exactly when it started, but it has been a few months since his glandes towards you changed its meaning. You’re undeniable beautiful in your own way and your personality? Damn, JJ always liked it. This time though, it was different. It was like something would warm inside him everytime you were around or someone mentioned your name.

JJ wasn’t blind either, he had noticed your longs stares at him when you thought he wasn’t paying attention or the way your cheeks would give in how flustered you were.

“I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice, princess”

Was your heart still beating?

Could someone die of embarrassment?

“Wh-what? I-I don’t know what you’re talking about, J” you frowned, a nervous laugh scaping you lips and you cursed yourself for being terrible at hiding your feelings but come on.. you thought you had being doing a pretty job and that he wouldn’t notice unless someone told him.

JJ cocked his brow and for a moment, you could see something flash on his eyes before a small smirk appeared on the lips you wouldn’t get tired of imagining before you went to bed.

“So you won’t mind if I..” he didn’t finished the sentences as he slowly walked closer to you, waiting for you to pull away and prove that he was wrong and that he was allucinating about your change of feelings for him.

You didn’t know that there was a rock behind you until your back was pressed against it, JJ trapping your body as he walked closer until you were almost chest to chest and that’s where you focused your gaze.. maybe it wasn’t the best of the ideas.

“What.. are you doing?” your voice came out weaker than you though and you wanted to slap yourself for that.

Searching everywhere inside you, you found courage to look at his face. Your breath getting caught in your throat when you notice his eyes deliberately starring at your lips, licking his own before he made eye contact with you again.

“Something that I should’ve done before” was all he said before you notice the distance between getting smaller and it was like everything was happening in slow motion.

JJ’s mouth covered your in a hungry kiss that almost made your knees give in. It was like your body was under his control as you responded immediately, wrapping your hands around his neck, surprising both of you. His lips were so warm and softer than you could have ever imagined. JJ squeezed your waist with of one his head, earning a gasp from you, as the other went to the back of your neck, taking full control of the kiss now.

Neither of you wanted to pull away from each other, fighting the urge to breath until the last second and even you did, JJ made sure to don’t let you go to far away. His forehead was resting against yours as his hands were placed on your waist, drawing circles with this thumb, only making more goosebumps spread all over your skin.

You didn’t know what to say, still processing the fact that JJ Maybank, your best friend and the guy you were in love with, just kissed you.

“Were you ever going to tell me?” He didn’t sound angry, but curious actually and you bit your lip.

Telling JJ that you were head over hills for him was never the plan. Actually, you were trying to ignore it and pray for the feeling to go away with time but it never did.

You shook your head and he nodded.

“I thought I was being discreet.” you sighed, playing with the small hairs on his neck and he smiled.

“I’m pretty sure that even Pope noticed, doll.. but I’m glad you weren’t” he shot you a wink and you rolled your eyes.

Was this moment actually happening?

The intensity of his gaze and the smile displaying his dimple were enough to stop you from asking what would happen now. Obviously things wouldn’t be the same. You also knew JJ wasn’t looking for something serious but you would enjoy every moment of whatever was to come.

Not even a second later, you could hear the voice of your friends screaming your names as they announced it was time to go, the way back to the car would take you an hour or an hour and a half know that you knew where to step.

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Let me know if you want to be tagged or removed from my taglist :)

[sunflowerim]

I LOVE YOU 3000!

-PART 26

Weekend 2

Harry arrived right on time. Louis opened the door to a warm smile and a basket of chocolate.

"Ok, when I said don't bring pizza, I certainly didn't mean, 'bring loads of chocolates'", Louis laughed, letting Harry in.

"What can I say, I'm such a gentleman," Harry replied with an all knowing smile.

Harry had barely stepped into the apartment when Clifford ran to him. Harry was a bit startled, but soon crouched down and started scratching Cliff behind his ears.

"Someone's not asleep today. How are you Cliffy. You gonna watch a movie with us?", Harry babbled on in a childlike voice as Louis shut the door behind them and moved over to the couch, eyes never leaving Harry.

"Do you know what movie we're watching today?" Louis asked.

"The Incredible Hulk. I've done my research thank you."

"Good," Louis smiled getting the remote. Everything else was already set up.

Harry got up and walked to the couch, Clifford on his heel and as soon as he sat down, Clifford settled himself on Harry's feet.

"So what brought this sudden change of demeanor?" Harry asked, patting Cliff's head.

"Maybe he's expecting more treats."

"Shit. I mean sorry. I didn't get anything for him. I mean I wanted to, but I didn't know if he had any preference or restrictions."

"Chill Harry, I have his food stocked up for a whole month. You needn't get him anything. I was just teasing."

"Oh. Okay."

"You didn't answer my question."

"What was it again?"

"Chocolates."

"Oh that. Well, I saw the stash of chocolates on your fridge the other day, so I got you some more. It was good to know that you have a sweet tooth. But seriously, so many chocolates Louis! One would think you're a five year old."

"Hey, those were not mine."

"Cliff surely doesn't eat those. Do you Cliff?" Harry said, looking down at Clifford during the last bit and scratching his ears, to which he gave a joyful bark. "See, he says no."

"Don't turn my son against me", Louis replied, faux-offended. "No really, those aren't mine. My niece and nephew go to the school around the corner, and they drop by randomly to spend time with their beloved uncle and I spoil them with chocolates."

"How sweet. But am I supposed to believe that you never grab chocolates for yourself?"

"I'm only human Harry. Ofcourse I do."

"Thought as much."

"You wanna see their pictures?"

"Sure."

Louis scrolled in his gallery and pulled out a picture of him holding the hands of two kids on his either side. The shot was taken on a football pitch, Louis wearing a white jersey and the two kids wearing red ones.

"That's Lux and Theo. They accompanied me as mascots that year."

"You play football?"

"What does it look like?"

"No, I mean not just casual games, proper matches! Wow. You're that passionate about it?"

"Yeah, you could say that," Louis smiled at the picture.

"Your niece and nephew are so cute."

"I know right. And you must know they're equally mischievous. Little pranksters."

"Wonder who taught them", Harry teased.

"Cool uncle Louis might have had something to do with it, but you didn't hear it from me."

"Never. My lips are sealed."

"Good."

"That reminds me." Harry fished out his phone and paused. "Do you mind if I get a picture if you?"

"Yeah, but why?"

"I'll save it as your contact image."

"Oh sure."

Louis smiled softly and Harry's heart skipped a beat. He kept staring at Louis through the phone and it wasn't until Louis cleared his throat, that Harry realised what he was supposed to do.

"Just a minute. And--- we're done. Looking good!"

Louis smiled bashfully as he saw Harry open his contact to save the picture. That's when he saw the name.

Lou :)

Louis melted into a puddle at his contact name on Harry's phone and instantly felt bad about saving Harry's name as simply Harry Styles. Looks too professional. He made a mental note to change it later.

"My turn." Louis focussed his camera on Harry, as the boy smiled widely, dimples popping up. Louis smiled too and took the picture. He looked at it for a second before shoving his phone back in his pocket. "Movie?"

"Yeah," Harry replied, easing back in the couch.

"Yeah. No wait- shit I forgot." With that Louis jumped from the couch and sprinted towards the kitchen. Harry sat confused for a while before Louis re-emerged with a tray containing a huge bowl and two plates and cutlery.

"I hope you like pasta."

"Yeah. Oh. Wow. You cooked for me?"

"Haha no Harold. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. I can't cook. I had my helper make it."

"Oh."

"Disappointed?" Louis laughed.

"No no, I was just momentarily surprised."

Louis smiled as he set the tray down on the coffee table and and hit play on the remote.

Once again, Louis watched Harry's reaction with great amusement, but this time, he noticed something else too. He noticed Harry's jaw drop every time, the lead actor got shirtless and how terrified he looked everytime he changed to the huge Hulk.

"Don't get too attached Harry. He's only starring in this movie. A different actor plays Hulk in the rest of the movies."

And Harry looked so sad at that, Louis melted.

"Aww, poor Haz."

Harry's lips quirked upwards at the pet name and from the corner of his eyes he could see Louis tense beside him.

"Um, sorry. I didn't mean to--"

"No, nono it's okay. You can call me Haz. I like it."

"Okay." Louis continued after a pause, "remember when I told you not to call me Lou?"

"Yeah, shit sorry, I know last week it slipped off my tongue once or twice."

"Yeah, no I mean, you can call me Lou too."

"Okay," Harry smiled and returned to the screen.

The time passed by pleasantly between movie, pasta, timid glances towards each other and Clifford switching between Harry and Louis' laps.

After the movie ended, Harry turned towards Louis and held his hand out. "Give me your phone."

"What? Why?"

"Just open your Instagram explore page and give. Don't worry I'll not snoop around."

Louis did as told and Harry typed out a username and and clicked on it.

"Here's my private account." Harry said, handing Louis back the phone. "You can follow me here if you want. I can actually post freely on here."

Louis looked st the screen hs94.

Louis didn't want to check it in front of Harry. So he just smiled and nodded. "I will."

Harry smiled back.

"Guess, I should leave now."

Louis ignored the sad voice in his head that had reappeared again.

"Until next week Louis Tomlinson," Harry called walking out the door.

"Until next week Harry."

And as Harry left, Louis took out his phone and edited Harry's contact.

PREVIOUS / NEXT

INTRO

[iamnightduchess]

ReinerxMikasa (ReiKasa) Extremely Kinky A to Z Ask Game (R20+) Headcanon #19

*Update: 24 March 2021

A continuation of this ask & inspired by this original post. Dedicated to @xrocketmanx for their amazing 💖 on my ko-fi page!

(A/N: ‼️WARNING‼️Graphic description of very explicit smut with potentially provocative images ⛔ Please don't click Keep Reading if you're below 20 🙅‍♀️ Sorry kiddos! To my more adult readers, please absorb this post's content with appropriate discretion & maturity)

(In complete Alphabetical Order)

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

People expect Reiner to be the one who would jump off the bed immediately soon after when they’re done but on the contrary, he just loves lying there and holding Mikasa in his arms post-coitus. Although, they do sleep with Mikasa lying on his chest most nights. Mikasa wasn’t used to be held intimately in the first few months of their relationship, so the first time they made love, Reiner gave her the space that she needed before, during and after. It was Mikasa who finally initiated their first cuddle post-coitus after the next several weeks.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Reiner: Very confident of his physical appearance and in his skin. He really loves everything on and about Mikasa. He loves her body type the way she is - to him, hers is just perfect. But, his most favorite body part of hers he'd like to touch first every time he could is her hands. He just like holding her hands when he wakes up, winding down for the night & even when he's asleep.

Mikasa: This woman, despite having a bombshell athletic figure, still secretly feels insecure of the way she looks. She loves Reiner's biceps the most - at home, she'll sneak a quick peck or a nibble on his biceps when he's doing the dishes or making dinner. She also likes to snuggle up to him on the couch with his arm draped around her shoulders, sometimes until she falls asleep.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… lol)

She...swallows? 🙈 (holy shizz i'm not so sure of this one. Can't think of a suitable answer without being cringey 🤣)

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Reiner & Mikasa once had a quickie inside the changing booth during a beach trip with their friends. Reiner had also went down on Mikasa after dinner at his mum's place, right in Karina's laundry room because he 'accidentally' spilt some wine on her dress & wanted to get her dress cleaned up. He ended up having her as dessert on top of the moving dryer & she left her underwear there by accident.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

They were both not each other’s first lovers but when they first got together, the experience is like being with no other. They discovered new parts & points of not only their significant other’s physical & spiritual strengths but also their own respective preferences as well. Reiner’s quite a ladies’ man during his early years in the military but after a while, he got bored of the game. Meeting Mikasa, he realised he wants to play the game again but this time to win it for good. Mikasa has only been with one boyfriend since college & being with Reiner opened her eyes up to vast possibilities.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

No, Reiner doesn't do the Military Style despite being a military man 🤣 Missionary & Cow Girl are their standard starting positions. Despite Mikasa being very flexible, which gave them more advantage in attempting the more physically-challenging positions, but the following are their more favorite experimental ones:

Oasis

Basket

Watering Can

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

A little bit of both, no doubt. Reiner has a dorky sense of humor & Mikasa's odd humor makes for a good tension-breaking combination. Their foreplays always begin with a good laugh - with Reiner ghosting his teasing touches on her love handles. Gets her in the mood for some serious sexing every time.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

For both, the carpets matched the drapes. Mikasa tried Brazillian wax once and uhh...Reiner abstained for a week & a half because he prefers her au naturalé 🙈 He said it felt odd from what he's used to haha

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

There are days they’ll just have a quickie if they get in the mood while just chilling, watching TV together after dinner. Before the children came, they would always have slow, intense eye-gazing, tantric, unrushed lovemaking. After the twins came into the picture, they’ll be lucky if they can even have cuddle time together >D Mikasa doesn’t say “I love you” out-loud but showed it in the way she touches & kisses Reiner’s arm when he’s in the kitchen making dinner or when he’s giving the twins a bath.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Oooh...Reiner rarely does this after he dated Mikasa & married her. But he loves getting her to touch herself in the showers. While he watches.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Did i tell you about their muscle kink & how much they love each other’s muscles?? Roleplay :) They like to pretend they’re strangers meeting in a cafe or a hotel bar and later have a ‘pretend one-night stand’ with each other haha It keeps the flame burning! (i posted a oneshot on this.)

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Home: bedroom, kitchen and in his home office. In the showers too!

They're not one to do it in public but they did have several outdoor trysts on the back of his 4WD while having a romantic night under the stars.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going) haha can't help not including this gif

When Mikasa rubs one of Reiner's thighs, rest assured that his gears will be running. Meanwhile when Reiner nuzzles her neck and started caressing her abs, oh it's an on for her alright.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

⛔ Backdoors are a big N.O ⛔

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

They're both amazing givers... You know what it means: 34 + 35 🤫 Reiner would sometimes initiates when Mikasa's already asleep. Remember that Zoom Conference & online gaming session? Mikasa likes to get back at Reiner when he least expects it.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Both depending on their moods...quickies are usually fast pounding yet not too rough, Reiner respects Mikasa too much to ever be at risk of hurting her. Usually their lovemaking would be sensual & soul-bonding at the same time.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Mikasa prefers to wear pants when they ever go for outings, movie trips, hiking trips. But, she wears skirts when they're visiting their families for a reason: smoother access for quickies. The moment she walks down the stairs in a beautiful dress before they head to his mum's or her aunts', Reiner already knows it. They be getting freaky with a quickie later 🙈

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Reiner & Mikasa are very experimental in the bedroom. Sure, they don’t have frequent lovemaking but when they’re in the mood, fireworks are a guarantee throughout with different new positions ;) Risk-taker? Let’s just say Reiner’s virility and Mikasa’s flexibility provided a lot of perks in their love lives together (and some pregnancy scares too! before they were ready to conceive) Mikasa once gave Reiner head while they're stuck in traffic heading into a road block. He'd finished just before the the car in front of them pass the inspection 🙈

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Ooh boy, all night haha Rounds: 2 max at one time. Duration: At least 1.5hours X) They both are super fit, athletic people so one can expect their staminas to be nothing less than subpar. *cough* In Canon AU: Max 4 times or 1/3 of the night *winks* because supernatural & acker powers!

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

No, they don't 🙈

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Goes without saying: a lot. Mikasa likes to wear Reiner's tshirts/ dress shirts at home to tease him. While Reiner likes to wear his reading glasses a lot at home because that is one of her biggest turn ons from him.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Mikasa's the quiet one between the two and the loudest she'd ever been was just a deep, heavy whimper. Reiner's the louder one that sometimes Mikasa would have to smother him when they're having a quickie 🤣

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Even after more than 20 years together, Reiner and Mikasa still make out like they're teenagers - pretending to sneak around and grinding in hidden, cramped spaces away from their kids.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Mikasa : Dynamite & powerful grip - thighs and you-know-what (even after 3 kids!)

Reiner : Thicc - ass & this man is packing. He has girth!

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the highest: 15 🤣 There's something about getting Mikasa to relax and laugh during their chill time, that just instantaneously revved up their engines at the same time. Reiner is a very tender, romantic person & Mikasa cannot resist it when he starts to tell her how much he loves her & appreciates her. He likes to kiss her hand when they're just hanging out even with friends. Everything Reiner does is genuine & that warms her heart everytime.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Reiner would be the first to go out like a light & Mikasa just likes to rest her head on his chest and hear his beating heart & relaxed breathing. Mikasa thinks Reiner's little snores are adorable. But when they're just cuddling on the couch, Mikasa would fall asleep first & Reiner would carry her to the bed.

-------------------

A/N: I had a lot of fun with this & I hope you'll enjoy it too! Thank you so much for the support & love 💖 xoxo More asks to come!

[tuancore]

Lost You (Part 11) :

Starring- Jinyoung x reader

Genre- Angst

Summary- It's your choices and actions which made you miserable.

Standing outside your apartment's door, you examined the door briefly, every single line and curve, remembering the time when you both first moved to this apartment after coming to Seoul, everything flashing before your eyes, rethinking your each and every decision in life. When you first came to Seoul, you felt like an outcast but with Jinyoung by your side, you had that hope of everything going to be alright, can't believe that same Jinyoung became so unfamiliar to you. Twisting the doorknob, you stepped in, just like the first time you entered with him.

Your eyes were covered with a velvety blindfold, you felt like stumbling every now and then in your heels, not knowing where he was actually taking you. He took you by surprise by picking you up in his arms, your hand naturally flying behind his shoulders. He chuckled seeing that terrified expression on your face, "Easy, angel I'm not going to drop you".

"Jinyoung, I swear if you're taking me to some horror house, you know how horrible they are" But he didn't reply you but kept on chuckling, making your stomach churn with anticipation. A ding sound, perked your ears, it was an elevator. He stepped out of it walking for awhile and then stopping again, "Angel,I found the best place for us, exactly what we were looking for", stepping in he gently placed you on your feet, slipping your blindfold.

"Welcome to our home" He grinned, seeing your shocked reaction. You gasped seeing all the showpieces and furnitures, all were exactly the same what you used to always discuss with him. You faced him with tears of joy in your eyes, smiling adoringly at him, "Everything....is exactly the same...". He nodded, hugging you gently while you melted in his arms,"You're such a crybaby..." Wiping your tears he cupped your face with both of his hands,staring into your eyes, he said,"I promise you angel, as long as I am with you I won't let you shed a single drop of tear. And that I'll keep you forever happy and safe in my arms".

The truth is promises are meant to be broken. You always heard that but never believed it until today. All of his words were nothing but sugar coated sweet talks, none of his promise were meant to keep. Dragging your feet to the middle of the living room, you stared at the large couch, it was Jinyoung's decision to keep it there so that you both could cuddle and watch movies on Sundays in each other's arms.

What was that for if he couldn't trust you enough?

Your gaze shifted towards the wall in the front, which at this point looked like some stalker's wall. Jinyoung out of many of his hobbies he was very much passionate for photography as well, and his all time favourite muse was you. You remember, how he used to budge you night and day to pose for him, most of the time you obliged which made him always run after you with a camera. After some time you got irritated, of his constant clicking, so you strictly ordered him to not to click your pics.

"Okay Okay! I won't ask you anymore to pose for me" He rose his hands in surrender, seeing a huge pout on your face.

He loved clicking your pics but it got irritating for you, since you wanted to enjoy moments with him without phones and cameras while he wanted to capture all the moments to reminisce about. So he found another way to keep on clicking your pics rather asking you to pose for him, he took your candid shots, whenever you fell asleep, or when you watered the plants, or when you cooked, when you jammed to your favorite songs, when you read books, or whenever you did some work on your laptop. He just loved you and only you. The wall was wall less and your face in frames more.

What was that for if he couldn't love you enough?

Out of so many pictures one was your favourite, subconsciously you walked closer to the frame taking out from the wall, caressing the image ever so lightly. It was a photo which was a candid shot clicked by JB, when you all went to the Disneyland in LA while visiting Mark's parents there.

"Why are you grinning like that?" Mark asked seeing your stupid grin, but failed to noticed two cones of ice cream in your hands. So you extended your hands showing him the cones, "My favourite ice cream!".

"Two cones? Each with five scoops?" Jackson commented not believing your childishness, "Ten scoops, are you even a girl?". Glaring at him you muttered 'idiot',"Of course I'm a girl that's why I love ice cream".

"More than Jinyoung?" Youngjae asked, teasing you on purpose. "Obviously!", You tilted the heads of both the cones forming a triangle as they the topmost scoops touched eachother, others mouthing an 'Ugh'. Your sparkly eyes became crescent happily biting on the scoops at once, when all of a sudden Jinyoung appeared out of nowhere back hugging you, his mouth on top of your head making it look as if he was about to bite you. Thats when JB clicked it. It was such an adorable picture and your favourite as well.

Someone really has said the truth, that only pictures last forever. Gripping the huge photogframe harshly in your hands, you threw it with a sudden force making it land at the corner of the room with a loud shattering noise. Everything was already over, so what was the need to keep reminiscing over such petty things.

___________

"Youngjae-ah.....Why?....." Jinyoung whispered in disbelief holding onto Youngjae's shoulder, he couldn't believe that Youngjae whom he thought of his smaller brother would hurt him in the most cruel way possible.

"It's not only Youngjae hyung but your so called friend Jisoo too" BamBam hissed, at the thought of Jisoo. Jinyoung snapped at BamBam with shock, another hard punch in his gut, "What are you saying?....".

"Yes, Youngjae and Jisoo were the ones playing you, noona and Jackson hyung like a puppet without any of your knowledge and if you think I'm lying then why don't you ask Youngjae hyung yourself" BamBam concluded with a stern face. Jinyoung turned around facing Youngjae with a furious eyes.

"Why the fuck would you do this to us?! Why Youngjae!?! Why!!" Jinyoung snarled gritting his teeth, his hands wrapped around Youngjae's throat almost cutting his oxygen, Mark and Jackson pulled him from Youngjae while he coughed his lungs out, his own tears spilling out.

"Because I love her....I always have....It hurt everytime I saw her in your arms smiling and giggling, I—.....I felt that it could've been me instead of you whom she loved more than her life.....and to protect my heart from bleeding anymore. I seperated you both" Youngjae's explanation made everyone beyond shocked. They all never thought the reason behind it was another complication.

"The fuck did you say Youngjae!!" Jinyoung growled breaking from Jackson's and Mark's grasp, landing a harsh punch on Youngjae's face which made him fall on the couch behind him, Jinyoung hovered over him punching him a few more times.

"Stop It Jinyoung! Stop it!!" Jaebeom and Mark shouted trying to get him to stop but he was too mad to pay attention to those words, when Youngjae pushed Jinyoung from him throwing a punch at his face, with blood gushing out of his own nose.

"STOP IT! JINYOUNG, STOP IT! CHOI YOUNGJAE!".

Youngjae got up on his feet, wiping the blood spurting out of his nose from his hoodie's sleeves, his cheeks also scraped from Jinyoung's hard punches.

"Since when?" Jackson asked sternly, glaring at him. Youngjae smiled at the mere thought of you, continuing, "Since University, she was my senior. I fell in love with her over time, she was not only gorgeous but kind as well. She saved me from getting bullied almost for an year and after that everyone stopped bullying me, how could I just not fall for her? I planned to confess her but Jinyoung hyung beat me to it! And my heart shattered when she accepted his love, I was broken......".

"Bullshit! You never told me that you were getting bullied back then!Plus she never told me" Jinyoung asserted. "I was! But whenever I was with you all I saw was you drowning in stress to get your master's degree and your father's constant ranting, so I kept quiet!".

"She never told you because I asked her to promise me to not to let you know about me getting bullied otherwise you'll get another reason to stress over and I didn't want you to!"Youngjae informed with his fists clenched in rage, "When she finally became your girlfriend, I thought of moving on so I tried dating but hell not a single girl I've been with could compare to her, I tried hard to convince myself that she belonged to you, she loves you but no my heart wouldn't listen.....it continued to ache for her, how could I just throw away the love which I had for her for past five years!".

With that Youngjae began to untangle all the strings, how he saw Jisoo working for Jinyoung, and from the way she looked at his with those heart eyes was enough to tell that she was in love with him, so he proposed the idea to Jisoo while as accepted it without any second thoughts. All they were waiting was for a right time and a perfect plan, and they got that exact opportunity when he saw you and Jackson meeting frequently without Jinyoung in range.

Coming to those photographs, he didn't had to do much at all, he simply clicked the pictures of Jackson's bedroom with every minor details, and technology gave him the exact environment Jackson's room had, but the real problem was in finding a boy who had same physique as that of Jackson and vice versa for the girl, so that your faces could be photoshoped accordingly, but that stupid girl forgot to hide her streaked hair.

"If you loved noona so much then why did you slut shame her like this?" Yugyeom snapped. "Jinyoung hyung was always insecure of the boys around her, so I kicked him on his weak spot. I couldn't believe when he believed in those fake photographs more than his own girl, I guess he really didn't deserve her".

"Youngjae......it's not love, it's obsession. Love is when you let the person you love just be happy, you completely shattered her! Jisoo and you both hurt the persons you loved! If you really loved her your heart would've ripped out everytime she suffered! It's not love Youngjae-ah, it's your obsession,it can't be love, it's not love........it's not......." JB croaked out choking on his own tears.

"After what you've done to her, Do you think she'll ever come to you? Do you?" Mark belted angrily. "She won't come to me but atleast she won't go to him either" Youngjae hollered with a sick grin, "And that's enough for me. If she can't be mine then she won't be his either".

"Youngjae fucking get out before we really do something to you which we'll regret for eternity!" JB yelled, motioning towards the door, shooting a last smirking gaze towards Jinyoung, he left without a protest.

Jinyoung dropped to his knees, feeling all the pain you felt through these days, all the tears you've shed for the pain he has given you. Small painful whimpers escaping his lips, everyone watched him crying.

"As much as I want to sympathise with you.....I can't, it's you who have brought this upon yourself" JB commented with a poker face eventhough his heart ached for Jinyoung. JB's remark send him further into the pit of guilt and remorse.

"Please..... forgive me......please....." Jinyoung stammered out sobbing hard, "I'm sorry.....I'm so so sorry", he just kept on pleading to the others, even when they were hurting seeing him before their eyes they were well aware that sooner or later this day will come, and Jinyoung will regret his each and every deed.

"You are sorry? You should be sorry. After whatever you've done to her, Do you think you deserve forgiveness?" Jackson crouched down beside him, his words hitting Jinyoung's heart like a dagger.

"Jackson.....I'm sorry......please forgive me. I was so wrong" He cried hugging Jackson, even if he wanted to hate Jinyoung, he couldn't Jinyoung was not only his friend but more of a brother. Unable to control his tears, Jackson sobbed hugging Jinyoung tightly letting him cry on his shoulder.

"Jinyoung hyung.....at some point we all can forgive you but the question is, Will Noona forgive you?" Yugyeom countered in a mere whisper. Jinyoung clutched onto Jackson's shirt, mumbling a quiet "No....".

"How am I supposed to apologise to her?" Jinyoung stared at Jackson for some assurance but found none, "I....I called my angel.....a slut.....how can I? I am such a monster, I even slapped her......when all she did was telling me the truth.....I hurt her, My angel begged me on her knees still I accused her of something so horrible. How can I be so heartless?....... Jackson, I—I made her feel so inferior......" Jinyoung gulped the knot forming in his throat as realisation hit him, facing BamBam he stammered, "BamBam....you said she is pregnant..... I—I despised my own child....our child.....How monstrous was I to hurt her this bad!!......".

By now everyone's eyes gleamed with tears, it was surely painful for him, but it wasn't anything compared to yours. Jinyoung has completely robbed you of your happiness, your everything, he tossed you away like you never meant anything to him while you continued to prove your innocence stepping on your self respect, self esteem. To be honest, he didn't deserve any forgiveness at all.

"Even if everything was set up by Youngjae and Jisoo, the way the things have degraded to, wouldn't have if you.....you" BamBam pointed out his finger at Jinyoung, "If you had faith on Noona, even a tiny bit, none of this would be happening right now. Instead of you crying here and she there, you both would be laughing and smiling in each other's arms........Loving eachother, accept it or not but you never trusted her enough. The way she was hurt, when you chose Jisoo over her......Gosh I can never forget the look in her eyes, She looked dead......so dead!".

Yugyeom patted BamBam's back with an attempt to calm him down, Yugyeom continued, "You can only pray for noona to forgive you. Everything is in her hands now".

The intense air subsided around everyone as BamBam's phone rang, answering the call immediately, he whispered, "Hello...".

The words from the other end broke BamBam to his soul, the phone slipped through his hands as he stared at Jinyoung completely emotionless.

"Noona had.....she had.....a miscarriage".

Part 10 // Part 11 // Part 12

Note: I'm not editing the drafts before posting them, so if you guys spot any errors, please let it slide, thank you so much ~~~

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