#I have a bigger rant but I’m not even awake I’m going back to sleep I just needed to say it pls

[itchose]

can people stop referring to Akilah as “the normal one” in ref to everyone else

[joeys-babe]

Joey B Imagines: Simply Shady I*

Summary: The following events of Joe changing up his hair, along with both you and your fiance gearing up for the start of the season.

(Part 1 to - Part 2)

Warnings: Fluff, Smut (male receiving oral)

Pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

Imagine Universe: Misc.

August 1st, 2024 - First day of pads at camp

I was woken up in a way that I would usually love, but the fact that it was insanely early made me more annoyed than anything.

“Mph. Not now Joe.” - you mumbled

He didn't say anything in return, and the slow movements of his hips grinding into my behind kept going.

Joe’s body was pressed flesh against me. His chest to my back and his crotch to my ass. Because he was rubbing himself into me, I thought he was awake. But as I froze up in shock, I heard a snore leave Joe’s lips.

He's asleep. He’s asleep and grinding into me.

As Joe continued his movements in his sleep, my mind went wild. Throughout the dirty thoughts, I remembered a conversation that Joe and I had a couple of weeks ago.

Joe had asked me if I'd ever give him head while he was asleep, a different way to wake him up if I was comfortable doing it. I had said yes, that I would, but there was never a day where I woke up first since that conversation.

Today, though, was a perfect chance to try it out.

After deciding that I was going to suck him off while he was still sleeping, I slowly and quietly scooted away from him. Joe had always been a deep sleeper, so it was easy for me to pull the covers off of him and lightly shove him onto his back.

I couldn't help but sit there and admire him. Joe looked like a wet dream, and he was all mine. My personal 220 pounds of pure sexiness.

Joe was wearing nothing but his black boxers, and my mouth watered as I stared at his toned torso, sculpted chest, and perfect arms.

This off-season, one of Joe’s workout priorities was to gain weight to be bigger and stronger by the time football season came around.

He achieved that completely, and the outcome was one of the hottest states of his body that I had ever seen. Don’t get me wrong, as his partner, I've never not thought he was the most attractive man on the planet, but I love it when he beefs up.

I believe it’s because it reminds me of how he looked when I first fell in love with him, back when we were both freshmen at LSU.

——

Flashback - 2018 - LSU

“This date is awful! Please, please, please come pick me up?” - Lyla

After accepting a phone call from my best friend, she enlightened me that she was currently in the bathroom of the restaurant where she was on a date. She went on to say that her date was a weirdo and nothing like how he was over texts.

It was later in the evening, and I was studying in the library for my first big test of the semester, but I had to save my girl.

Still on the phone with her, I grabbed my laptop and textbooks super fast before darting out of the library.

Lyla was still ranting on the phone, telling me to please hurry, and I was focusing hard on not dropping my belongings. As I rounded the corner of the sidewalk, I looked over at the parking lot, trying to remember where I parked my car.

Since my eyes weren't on where I was walking, I gasped when I smacked into a hard body, dropping everything I was holding and my phone.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry.”

“No. No. I should be.” - you

I immediately lept down and started to grab my things, not paying attention to the person that I just ran into. It sounded like a man, and I didn't exactly have time to put up with a college male right now.

To my surprise, though, he crouched down as well, stacking up some of my books as I focused on making sure my laptop screen wasn't broken.

After seeing that it was fine, I finally looked up at the man crouched down next to me who was holding my stuff.

My mouth dropped open, and my eyes widened.

Joe Burrow.

He was the starting quarterback for the football team, and because he had just transferred from Ohio State, his name was known.

I had only seen a couple of blurry pictures of him before as I listened to a couple of my guy friends rant about the incoming QB. In pictures, I wasn't exactly attracted to him, but seeing him in front of me right now, I completely understood why girls all around campus were obsessed with him.

“Are you okay? You look like you just saw a ghost.” - Joe chuckled

My cheeks turned red when I realized I had zoned out staring at him. This cannot be happening right now.

“I- I'm fine. I just wasn't expecting you.” - you

Joe cocked his head to the side, not exactly understanding. To him, he was a normal guy who just loved to play football. He didn't exactly love all of the publicity.

In the end, he shrugged and looked down at my books that were in his hands. Most of them were for classes, but a couple were for my personal reading.

“In Plain Sight? Do you believe in aliens?” - Joe

I nodded my head with a soft smile on my face, completely in shock that I was talking about aliens with Joe Burrow.

“That’s cool. I do, too. My friends all say that I'm crazy to believe in them. Oh, I’m Joe, by the way.” - Joe

Joe shifted my belongings into one arm before reaching out with his now free hand. I reached out, too, putting my hand in his and shaking it.

“I know who you are. I'm y/n.” - you

“That’s a pretty name. Only fitting for a pretty girl, though.” - Joe winked

My stomach dropped, and reality hit. He’s a jock college football player. Only one thing on his mind.

I stood up and recollected everything into my arms, and Joe immediately noticed my change in body language. When he handed me my books, I noticed that the pretty smile had dropped from his face, a disconcerted look left in its place.

“Did I say something wrong?” - Joe

“No. I just need to get out of here. Thanks for the help, it was lovely to meet you, Joe.” - you

I started speeding down the sidewalk once again, but Joe called out for me to wait. Oh, fuck this.

“You forgot your phone!” - Joe

Mentally cursing myself, I turned around and walked back up to Joe. He was fully standing up now, and he towered over me.

“Thanks..” - you

“You’re welcome. Maybe I'll see you around campus?” - Joe grinned

I looked up at the stupid smile on his face and wanted to claw my eyes out. Why is he so cute? He’s just wearing athletic shorts and a Looney Tunes sweatshirt, but he looks perfect.

“Mmm. Probably not. I'm more into school than all of the partying.” - you

“I’m not into partying either. I’m taking all online classes, so unless I'm at football practice or working out, I'm usually at my apartment.” - Joe

Why are his stupidly perfect lips still moving?

“Okay? Thanks again. Bye.” - you

I started walking off again, and this time he didn't stop me. Once I got into my car, I laid my head back against the headrest with a deep sigh. That did not just fucking happen.

Why was he being so oddly persistent?

Probably looking for a quick fuck.

“That’s what they all want.” - you whispered aloud

I was lost in my thoughts. The thoughts being the image of the pretty quarterback crouched down while examining my alien book, the skin at the corner of his eyes crinkling up when he smiled.

God he was so-

My train of thought abruptly stopped when I heard a quiet voice. I looked around, confused, before my eyes landed on my phone. The call with Lyla was very much still going.

I remembered why I was rushing in the first place, and my eyes went wide. After quickly grabbing my phone to my ear, I realized just how crazy I was about to sound.

“Lyla, you will never guess what just happened. It sounds crazy.” - you

“You can tell me after you fucking pick me up!! Come on!” - Lyla

——

Flashback - still 2018 - LSU

“Are you excited to watch your man play?” - Lyla squealed

I rolled my eyes at her words. We were currently sitting down in our seats for the first home game of the season.

My run-in with Joe was months ago, and I hadn’t seen him since then, not like I expected that I would, but Lyla swore up and down he was into me.

She hadn't let the interaction go, and when I perked up at the mention that she had an extra ticket for the game since her boyfriend bailed, it only made it worse.

“You know he's still single. Maybe he's waiting to see you again.” - Lyla bumped your shoulder

I stared at her for a few seconds, narrowing my eyes at her dumb assessment. There was no possible way that was true.

Joe and I were strangers. We only knew each other’s names and the fact that we both believed in aliens. To be frank, he's probably long forgotten about our encounter. There were girls constantly throwing themselves at him, so why would he pay attention to me?

Up til the team ran out, Lyla was talking about nothing but Joe.

“Lyla. He doesn't even know who I am. He's probably long forgotten about bumping into me. Even if I wanted to say something to him, which I don't.” - you

“Sure. We’ll see if that changes after you watch him play. Those football pants might do something to you.” - Lyla

“Stop saying things that make me roll my eyes. I'm gonna get a headache.” - you

“Or… stop fighting the fact that he was into you and one thousand percent recognize you if he saw you again. He called you pretty! And when you freaked out, he immediately got worried that he said something wrong.” - Lyla

Before I could say anything, the team ran out. Lyla immediately jumped up and yanked me up with her. I have to admit, the electricity running through Death Valley as everyone was on their feet cheering was an adrenaline rush. I couldn't help but jump and cheer as well.

My eyes landed on Joe fairly easily as he was leading the pack as QB1. And for a split second, he looked at me too. His eyes were scanning the crowd before looking away, but he did a double-take.

Unfortunately, Lyla noticed and shook my shoulder. We were in the bottom row of our section, so there was a chance he was looking at someone behind me. Right?

-

Joe’s POV - Same flashback

While running out with the team, I looked over at the crowd just to see how big it was. It was my first home game as a Tiger, and Death Valley already felt like home.

As I looked around, my eyes scanned over a familiar face. I looked away and realized, so I did a double take to make sure I wasn't seeing things or my mind was playing tricks on me.

It was her.

My eyes weren't deceiving me. It was y/n. The beautiful girl I had the lovely opportunity of gracing paths with. Quite literally.

When I first bumped into y/n, it felt like everything around me disappeared and that it was just us on that sidewalk, much like how it felt as our eyes met through the crowd.

I only knew this girl's name, but I’ll never forget how I felt crouched down on that sidewalk with her. Everything felt right. Like everything was still and at peace.

I never thought I’d see her again with how quickly she took off running after I called her pretty. Looking back, I could see why it freaked her out. Our personalities were meshing super well before I said that, and I know the reputation of college athletes. She probably thought I was trying to get in her pants, only to be gone by the morning.

I'd never been that kind of guy anyway. I had hooked up with a couple of girls while at Ohio State, but I got attached too easily and could never leave it as just a one-night stand.

Maybe I could talk to y/n more and show her that I wasn't the average college athlete fuckboy. That is if she'd even talk to me or even remember that we'd bumped into each other.

After Game - Same flashback

LSU won the game, and Joe was impressive, to say the least. Lyla nudged me after every good play he made, making sure to call him ‘my man’ when she was talking about him.

Everyone was filing out of the stadium, but Lyla and I stayed back to take a couple of pictures and wait for the crowd to die down.

We had our backs to the field, our noses buried in our phones as we looked at a few selfies we had taken.

“Okay, let me get a good pic of the field.” - Lyla

I wasn't exactly paying attention to her, but I noticed that she had turned around to take a picture of the stadium. When she did, though, she paused and gasped.

“Y/N… turn around.” - you

Sighing as I slipped my phone into my pocket, I turned around. My eyes went wide when I looked down and saw what - or who - was standing on the grass looking up at us.

“Hi.” - Joe smiled

Joe was in regular clothes now since the game had been over for about thirty minutes. He was all that was left on the field other than the training staff cleaning up and a few janitors.

“Hi?” - you smiled back

“Did you enjoy that game? I know you said you don't go out, so this must be a different environment for you.” - Joe

“It was so fun. You're crazy good, by the way. I'm impressed.” - you

Joe felt his cheeks heat up a little at the compliment, and it didn't go unnoticed by me. I saw the way his face turned a little pink.

“Thank you. It was awesome to see your pretty face again. That might be your queue to runaway, but that's how I feel.” - Joe smiled

My stomach filled with butterflies at him calling me pretty again, along with a feeling of slight embarrassment from his joke. Something about him making light of the situation gave me closure, though. He wasn't looking for a hookup.

“You’re pretty good-looking yourself.” - you grinned

“I’m glad you think so, y/n. But I didn't just walk over here to call you pretty again. I wanted to know if you'd like to have dinner with me tonight. I’d love to get to know you.” - Joe

I looked at Joe’s gorgeous face in shock before looking over at Lyla. She nodded and bumped my elbow with hers.

“I can get home just fine by myself. You get him, tiger.” - Lyle whispered

Looking back down at Joe, he looked up at me with hopeful eyes. His gaze shifted to Lyla, trying to read her expression before looking back at me.

“Sure. I'd love to have dinner tonight.” - you

Joe’s anxious expression broke into a huge smile, the nervous feeling in his stomach immediately going away. You said yes.

“Okay, great. Can I get your number? You know, so I can text you when I'm pulling around to pick you up.” - Joe

I nodded my head, the smile never leaving my face, and handed Joe my phone for him to put his number in. Once he was done, he handed me his phone to do the same.

After handing his phone back to him, Joe nervously rocked back and forth on his feet. Saying he was giddy was an understatement.

“So I’ll see you in a little bit?” - you

“Yup. It’s a date.” - Joe smiled

As soon as the words left his lips, he spun on the balls of his heels and walked back toward the tunnel. I slowly turned my head to Lyla, my eyes wide, and my jaw dropped.

“That did not just happen.” - you

“Oh, it so did! And he walked over to you. He initiated all of that. Not to mention, he just said that dinner with him tonight was a date. Y/N, that's your man!!” - Lyla

We both grabbed each other’s forearms, jumping up and down and giggling at the fact that Joe, a desirable starting college quarterback, just asked me on a date. Out of all of the girls who wanted him, Joe chose me, the girl he bumped into once.

——

Back to present day

Obviously, the first date went amazingly, and Joe and I have been together ever since. Joe always says that he knew I was the one when he first laid eyes on me, and the fact that his body immediately relaxed on that sidewalk was a sign of things to come. I was home to Joe, sometimes described as his everything.

Since the moment Joe and I started to get to know each other, he became my best friend. Well, I’d say that to everyone but Lyla. She would get a little salty if I told her that.

I remember thinking that Joe was cute the first time we crossed paths, but when he ran out of the tunnel that day, and we made eye contact, my insides melted. No other guy I had been with before was able to make me feel the way he did in that second.

Call it love at second sight.

For the rest of Joe’s time at LSU, before he graduated, we were stuck to each other at the hip, completely and utterly inseparable.

We had to do long distance for a year because I was still at LSU, and Joe got drafted by the Bengals. It was arguably the hardest year of my life.

As soon as Joe entered my life, he became the anchor that kept me grounded. I’d never been happier with someone, and we were together practically every moment that we could. So, to be living in completely different states was tough.

Once I graduated, though, I moved in with Joe. It was the house he bought with his rookie contract, and it was perfect for just the two of us. I ended up getting a marketing job in Cincinnati, just like I had planned when it was announced that Cincinnati had the first pick of the draft. Joe always told me that I didn't need a job since he was getting paid millions to play football, but I wanted to work. I didn't want to mooch off of my boyfriend.

But, a few months ago, I ended up calling it quits at that job. The workplace grew increasingly toxic under a recently hired new boss, and I found myself crumbling under the workload. Joe had been present for a few of my work-related breakdowns, and he finally put his foot down one day.

——

A few months ago

“I don't know if I can do it anymore, Joe. I feel like she's setting me up to fail.” - you

I was having yet another breakdown over work. Second time this week, and it was only Wednesday.

Joe was holding me as tight as he could, listening to every word that left my lips. We were lying on the couch, and I was cuddling on top of him, my face buried in his neck as I tried to calm down my crying. Joe had his arms wrapped around my waist, rubbing my back and kissing my head now and then. He hadn't said a word yet.

After my crying started to slow down, Joe abruptly rolled onto his side and unwrapped his arms from me. He stood up from the couch seconds later and grabbed my phone off of the end table.

“Joey? What’re you doing?” - you

“I can't do this anymore, y/n. This job is breaking you down, baby. I can't just sit here and hold you and then send you back just to have to do it again tomorrow. It hurts me to know you're hurting. I hate it.” - Joe

I stared at him dumbfounded. I knew he detested my job, but he respected my decision to go back every time.

“I’d be a terrible boyfriend to let you stay in that environment y/n.” - Joe

After sniffling a few more times and wiping my eyes and nose on the back of my sleeve, I finally spoke up.

“So what are you gonna do?” - you sniffled

“I’m calling your boss. I’ll try to remain calm, but when it comes to you, I can't control if I lose my shit. You’re the most important thing to me in the whole world, and to see you get treated like this is pissing me off.” - Joe

You could practically see steam coming out of Joe’s ears. I knew he was mad, but I didn't expect him to get this worked up. In another way, though, it made sense. I was the woman that Joe loved, and he took his responsibility of protecting me very seriously.

“What are you gonna say?” - you

“I’m telling her to put your two weeks in. Do you have two weeks of vacation days? I’m not letting you step foot in that office building.” - Joe

“You’re making me quit?? I need that job, Joe. How am I gonna pay for stuff?” - you

Joe did a massive eye roll before plopping down on the couch next to me. Here we go.

“That might just be the dumbest question you have ever asked. Baby, do you know how much money I make? It’d be stupid for you to keep that job that makes you feel like shit when your boyfriend is making millions to play football. No, you aren't mooching off of me, and I don't want to hear that. I want nothing more than to take care of you, y/n. You just have to let me.” - Joe

I stayed silent for a few moments, my anxiety and a feeling of guilt creeping in. My eyes welled up with tears again from Joe’s generosity and the fact that a bunch of fear came with it.

“I need a job, Joe.” - you mumbled

“Why? Why do you need one?” - Joe

It was gonna sound bad to say out loud, and the last thing I wanted was for Joe to think I had doubts about our relationship, but I was just being reasonable.

“What if things go south? I don't want to, and I don't think we will, but what if we break up? Then, I don't have anything to fall back on.” - you

“Are you being serious? We’re not gonna break up, baby. You’re it for me. Do I not make it obvious enough that I'm all in?” - Joe

“I know, it’s stupid. But I still worry.” - you

“You have no reason to. I'm not going anywhere, and that's a promise.” - Joe

——

Back to present day

So, that's when I finally agreed and decided to quit my job. Joe and I were able to spend a lot more time together, and we grew closer than ever before. I was putting full trust in him, and after a while, the thought wasn't scary.

I lay in bed for a while longer, just watching Joe as he slept peacefully. He just looked adorable.

My more innocent thoughts changed, though, as my eyes wandered over his perfect body once again. God, gaining weight was the best decision he's ever made.

Time to get down to business, I thought to myself.

I shoved the covers farther down the bed and gently spread Joe’s legs before kneeling in between them. After getting comfortable, I reached out for the waistband of his boxers and slowly pulled them down and over his perfect butt.

Joe stirred once he was fully exposed, probably feeling a draft but not fully waking up. Once he stopped moving around, I reached and wrapped my hand around his semi-erect cock. He always woke up a little hard, and right now, I was silently grateful for that.

Slowly pumping his length, I felt Joe harden and grow in my hand, and yet his face still showed zero tension. Once his erection leveled up to fully erect, I removed my hand from his length and slowly leaned down.

I wrapped my lips around his tip, watching his face the entire time I slowly inched my mouth down his dick. Joe let out a little whimper when his tip hit the back of my throat, but as I watched him, I noticed that he was still asleep.

After that, I doubled my efforts in hopes of drawing another sound from his lips while he was still out cold, and it was easier than expected. I sucked on his length as I bobbed my head, trying to give him the sloppiest head that I could conjure up. Joe would let out a little whimper or a quiet moan now and then, and I could tell he was close to waking up.

A minute later, with my eyes glued to Joe’s face, his mouth dropped open, and he moaned out. Louder than before. He’s awake.

Joe’s eyes fluttered open, and when he looked down to see my mouth around his cock, his eyes went wide, and he sat up straight. Joe’s cock got impossibly harder at the sight, and he buried a hand in my hair when I pulled off of him with a pop. I immediately wrapped my hand around him, stroking him fast with a grin on my face.

“Morning, Joey.” - you grinned

“Holy fuck, baby. I- I… fuck, I can't.” - Joe moaned

His raspy morning voice only made the experience hotter, so I took his length back into my mouth. Joe’s head was thrown back, and his grip on my hair got tighter. He's so close.

Joe continued to moan as I sucked him, his thoughts going crazy at the fact that he just woke up to me giving him head.

“So hot, baby. Oh god.” - Joe whimpered

A few moments later, Joe only started getting louder, his built chest heaving as he panted.

“Fuck, I'm cumming.” - Joe moaned

Joe held my head down and bucked his hips up, stilling as he exploded in my mouth.

“Fuck- fuck- fuck.” - Joe

It took a few minutes for Joe to gain his composure back, along with his breath, and I pulled off of his length. I rolled over back into my spot and cuddled up to Joe, pulling him into my chest.

I went to play with his hair before awkwardly stopping, remembering the fact that his curls were no longer there. Joe had recently changed up his hairstyle, and though it was hard to get used to at first, I loved it.

——

Flashback to a couple of months ago

“Hey.” - you

“Hi, baby.” - Joe

I was currently driving home from doing a few errands, including picking up dinner for Joe and me since he said we should just eat at home, though he didn't feel like cooking.

“Whatcha doing?” - you

“Nothing much. I'm looking at clothes for game day fits.” - Joe

“Sounds like fun!” - you enthused

Joe went silent for a couple of seconds before letting out a sigh, my eyes narrowing at his change of attitude.

“Sure. When are you gonna be home? I miss you, and I have a surprise for you.” - Joe

“You miss me? It’s only been a couple of hours, Joey. And I'm pulling onto our road right now. What'd you say about a surprise?” - you

“I have one for you.” - Joe

“Oooo. Am I gonna like it?” - you

Joe was freaking out just a little bit. Sure, what he did was what he wanted, but he was realizing now that it was a little impulsive, and he was worried about what you would think of it.

“Uh. Hopefully.” - Joe chuckled

We ended the call a few minutes later since I was literally in our garage. After grabbing all of the bags that I could, I walked into the kitchen through the mudroom. Joe was sitting at the counter, a grin forming on his lips when he saw me.

“Hey, gorgeous.” - Joe smiled

After placing the bags down and setting the food in front of Joe, I walked back around to the other end and up to him. Joe swiveled the barstool around, opening his arms for me once I stepped between his spread legs. He pulled me into a hug, and my head fell onto his shoulder, Joe’s arms wrapped tightly around my waist.

“Hi, handsome.” - you mumbled into his neck

Joe stayed silent for a few moments, rubbing his big hands over my back before pulling away and doing the same to my hips.

“Is there anything left in the car?” - Joe

“Just a couple more bags. I can get them, though.” - you

I went to turn around and head back for the mudroom, but Joe grabbed my arm and pulled me back to him.

“How about you get dinner out of the bags, and I’ll go get ‘em? - Joe

“Alright.” - you smiled

Joe pecked my lips before getting off the barstool. I watched him walk away till he disappeared from my sight, my eyes lingering on his ass for a few seconds before I looked away with a giggle.

-

Thirty minutes later, Joe and I had just finished dinner when I realized something. Ever since I got home, Joe’s been wearing a hat with his hood up over the top of it.

Joe cleared his throat to say something, looking over at me to see that I already had my eyes narrowed and staring at him.

“What?” - Joe chuckled

“Why do you have a hat on and your hood up? New questionable fashion choice?” - you

I giggled when he rolled his eyes, but his tone quickly switched back to serious.

“That’s what I was about to tell you. Close your eyes.” - Joe

“Is your hair my surprise?” - you

“Uhm. Basically.” - Joe

Please tell me he got the modern-ish-looking mullet that I've been begging him to do.

I closed my eyes, a grin on my face as I prepared myself. He's gonna look so hot.

Meanwhile, Joe’s heart was beating out of his chest. It was silly to be nervous about, but buzzing his hair, which he knew you loved, was almost a recipe for disaster.

Joe took his hood down before popping his Bengals hat off, running his hand over his spikey hair. He took one last deep breathe, mentally preparing himself for what you're reaction would be.

“Open.” - Joe

I opened my eyes, immediately jumping back with a scream. That’s not a mullet. He's fucking bald. Joe immediately started biting his cheeks and playing with his fingers.

“Is it that bad?” - Joe mumbled

“Joseph Lee. Your hair is gone. It’s gone.” - you

“Can you answer my question? I’m super scared right now.” - Joe

I stared at his head for a few more seconds, my eyes going between his practically bare head and his worried face. He looks so nervous.

Because I hadn't said anything yet, Joe dropped his head, unable to maintain eye contact with you because he was worried you weren't attracted to him.

“You hate it.” - he mumbled

My bottom lip stuck out in a pout as I pushed off of the barstool, wrapping my arms around Joe’s shoulder as his head ended up on my shoulder.

“Aww. Baby, I don't hate it. You know I love your hair, but there's so much more to look at than it. Look at me.” - you

I gently patted the back of Joe’s neck, and he leaned up. I cupped his cheeks, placing a kiss on his forehead before pulling back with a grin on my face.

“Your pretty face is the star of the show now. I can focus on your perfect nose, your baby blue eyes, and these perfect lips.” - you

When I mentioned Joe’s nose, I pecked the tip of it, rubbing my thumbs under his eyes when I mentioned them, and I pressed a kiss to his lips when I talked about them as well.

Joe’s cheeks turned pink at the overwhelming compliments, a cheeky grin forming on his lips before I returned his head to my shoulder.

“You’re so cute.” - you giggled

I rubbed his back as Joe giggled into my neck, his hot cheeks easily feelable on my neck.

“Hair or no hair, you're the hottest man I've ever seen.” - you grinned

—

Later that week - Same flashback

I was sitting on the couch when Joe got home from his workout. I was neck-deep in a conversation about Love Island USA with Lyla, so I didn't even look up when Joe loudly shut the mudroom door.

Truthfully, he shut the door loudly on purpose to try to get your attention. When you weren't already looking up at him when he entered the house, he attempted to slam the door so you'd look up, but you didn't.

“I’m homeeee.” - Joe

It was adorable how he drawled out the word, but I was too busy ranting about my least favorite person on the show to acknowledge Joe.

“Baby?” - Joe

“Hi, Joe.” - you

Joe walked into the house, dramatically dropping his bag on the floor before basically throwing himself down on the couch next to you. And yet you still hadn't looked up at him.

“Are you gonna ask me how my workout went..?” - Joe

“How’d your workout go?” - you sighed

He had to grin. He loved messing with you.

“Good. Can I have a kiss?” - Joe

All I did was pucker my lips, my eyes still not leaving my phone as I sent a frantic paragraph in response to something Lyla said.

Joe leaned over and craned his neck to give me a kiss, my eyes going wide when his head came into view. I immediately jumped back, our lips barely ever touching.

“Oh my god. You bleached it?” - you chuckled

I watched Joe move back to his seat so that he was comfortable and not straining his neck. He nodded with a grin, and my eyes were stuck on his bleached + buzzed head.

“What do ya think?” - Joe

I couldn't lie. As bizarre and silly as bleaching and buzzing his hair was… he looked hot as fuck.

“You look good. I kind of like this more. You look less intimidating.” - you giggled

With how bright his hair was, it brought out his blue eyes. One of my favorite features of his and something I could find myself getting lost in.

I moved over after setting my phone down, eventually straddling his lap as Joe’s hands found their place on my hips.

That hair made his perfect face the star of the show, and his built chest and sculpted arms were a sight. I was getting worked up, and he was just sitting here.

“I'm not gonna lie, you look hot.” - you

“Yeah?” - Joe

I nodded, my arms going around his neck as I slowly ground down onto his crotch. Joe groaned, leaning forward and smashing his lips into mine.

“Fuck.” - Joe groaned

After a few minutes of making out, I pulled away from his slick, reddened lips. God, he looks so hot right now.

“We should probably stop. We have to tour our possible wedding venue in less than two hours, and I need to go get ready.” - you

Oh yeah, Joe and I got engaged right after his trip to France! We were planning our wedding for the next off-season, and today we were going to tour a venue with both sets of our parents.

I grinned at Joe’s pout, sad that I was leaving him hanging because he was very hard. But he couldn't get too upset. Not when we were about to tour the place where we were possibly going to get married.

“Are you not excited?” - you chuckled

“No, I am. I just don't want to have to go take a cold shower. And alone.” - Joe

Chuckling as I crawled off of Joe’s lap, I couldn't help but bite my lip at the sight of the tent in his pants.

“Stop that!” - Joe

I only laughed louder before Joe got up from the couch, wrapping his arms around my waist.

“I'm excited to see the venue, though. It’ll make everything feel a lot more real.” - Joe

“Me too. The thought alone makes me giddy. I can't wait to marry you.” - you

“I can't wait to marry you more. I've been waiting for that moment since I bumped into you on that sidewalk.” - Joe grinned

I laughed at his over-the-top statement, finding it both endearing and silly.

“Okay, I think you need that cold shower now. You need some blood flow to go back to your head instead of your dick.” - you chuckled

“Why do you say that?” - Joe laughed

“You’re starting to say some questionable things.” - you

Joe cocked his head to the side, narrowing his eyes at me because he was confused.

“What have I said that's questionable?” - Joe

“Saying that you've been waiting for us to get married since we met.” - you

He rolled his eyes when I left his arms and gently started pushing him towards the stairs. Joe argued that he meant what he said our entire trip into our bathroom.

“Okay, okay! Get in the shower, goofball.” - you

I threw a towel at Joe before turning to the sink, going to grab my face wash before doing my makeup when a cloth fabric hit my face. I put the bottle down to pull the garment off of my head. Lo and behold, it was Joe’s boxers.

Turning around to glare at him, all I'm met with is the sight of Joe butt naked. The only thing he's wearing is a cheeky grin that makes the corner of his eyes crinkle up. If he wasn't so perfect, I’d slap him.

“Ya know… I’m still pretty horny from that make-out earlier…” - Joe

“Get in the shower.” - you

“Yes, ma'am.” - Joe sighed

I watched him climb into the shower with a smile on my face, shaking my head at his antics.

At least I know I'm marrying a man that always keeps me on my toes, I thought to myself.

“Baby, are you sure you don't want t-” - Joe

“Yes, Joe! Shower.” - you

Authors note: The next part will go back to present-day! Or August 1st. This part was just kind of setting the stage for the real stuff!!

Requests;

HOPE YOU ENJOYED!!! 💕

[ravenshome]

change of hate and love

I need to replace the word hate with the word love. I need to. I must. Things need to start changing. But do I even want change? Everything that is familiar I don’t want to lose, but I also want to experience new things. I keep going back to things similar to the past that I love but I hated also when I was actually living it. Shitty people shit on people and the stain be staining. Ugh. I just type because I don’t know what else to do. When I am awake I am numb yet I still feel so much at the same time. I hope he reads these someday. And I hope someone like him or me reads these somedays. I hope it brings comfort to those that feel whatever this stupid feeling is.

I just want to grow. It’s so hard. I have a headache. I should go to sleep. It is almost 3 AM. I just wish someone else would keep me up at night instead of my own negative thoughts.

I want to be wanted. I want to be annoyed over the fact that someone is so in love with me that they always call and text me and I'm so in love with them that I allow them to annoy me. I want someone to be so embarrassingly in love with me as I am with them. I miss being in love. I want to love. I have so much love with no where to put it. Yes of course I love myself, but I love loving. I want to be happy with someone and experience things. This new person has to be up to my standards though. I never held them up for Jack. Fuck Jack. I let him do so many things that pissed me off, but at the same time I did try to talk to him . Shut the fuck up. I don’t even want to complain about him in detail, my sadness should be enough holy shit.

I only stay for people when I can and want to stay for myself.

I need to learn, I am going to learn. I am going to become a better version of myself because I will learn. Learn who and what I am and what I can do and what I want to do.

I want to be a fire fighter. I will be strong and will be able to protect people. I want to save people in a bigger way than I should have been saved. I want to save forests and people and animals and anything that can understand the pain that I have felt. Sounds weirdly selfish but I know what I am talking about.

My head and throat hurt. My mind is so clouded with thoughts of strangeness that is so familiar and old it is somehow at the same time unrecognizable. Maybe I don't understand myself right now because I am the most I am me right now and it is so much for me to comprehend that I don’t want to believe myself. I think I gaslight myself, but at the same time not? I don’t fucking know. Everything in life right now is all so new to me. I don’t understand so many things and I feel stupid because Google literally exists. So much information and we weirdly take it for granted. America for real fucked us up. America is great, but it’s not the best as it promotes itself to be. Okay now I am just ranting, but like I walkways do this and like am I ever wrong? Not really, so shut the fuck up.

I am definitely just talking to myself but it's okay. I am going to be okay. I will always become okay. I will always end up okay. Everything is going to work itself out and I am a positive asset. I am me and my mind is me and Jack means nothing to me anymore because I never really meant shit to him if he couldn't even change for me. Fuck Jack. Fucking pedophile.

[bellaramseysgf]

Pretty (Stucky)

Warning(s); DDLG relationship,fluff, soft daddy Steve <3,polyamory,crying.

Pairing(s); Daddy! Bucky Barnes x Little! Fem! Reader x Daddy! Steve Rogers.

Summary; you get a new sticker book, so you make everything pretty.

A/n; so I was scrolling on insta and saw the concept where a little and her daddy did something like this, so I decided to turn it into a little Fic,enjoy pretty people!☺️

••••••••••••

It was on your daddies really, they bought you it, they left you unattended.

Your daddy had gone out to the store needing things for dinner, dada fell asleep on the couch leaving you to your own devices.

So of course you grabbed your hello kitty sticker book and proceeded to pretty-fi the house. You stuck them on the fridge,the counter,the cabinets,the railing,the walls, the steps of the stairs, anywhere you thought was too basic.

Soon though daddy came home and you smiled running to see him “daddy daddy!” You smiled sliding to a stop in front of him. “Hi baby!” He said shifting the bag in his hand so he could lift you up against his hip, flesh hand tucking under your bottom.

He walked past steve in the living room sitting the bag down on the counter when he saw the sticker, then he saw the ones on the cabinet, even the fridge. “Baby?” Daddy called sitting you in the island. “Yes?” You said smiling widely “did you do this?” He asked pointing to the stickers and you nodded “it’s pretty now!”

Bucky let out a breathy laugh trying to not get angry at the fact you put hello kitty all over his thousands of dollars worth marble counter, or his cabinets or his fridge, no because this wasn’t your fault.

Bucky grabbed a lolipop and opened it “can you go eat this while I talk to dada?” You nodded “can I have it in my playroom?” Bucky nodded lifting you off his island. “Course’ baby go have fun” you popped the treat in your mouth and scurried off to play.

Bucky finally saw the rest, on his walls his stairs railing, his stairs, you even managed to stick some to Steve’s shirt and jeans without him waking up.

“Ahem!” Bucky cleared his throat as he kicked Steve’s foot down from the coffee table. Steve blinked away looking up at his boyfriend “hey babe, did you get what you needed?” He said oblivious, like usual.

“Yeah, question. Where’s y/n?” Steve was finally more awake “oh shes right….here” Steve looked next to him to find you were gone. “Yeah. So while you had you lovely nap she’s covered my house in stickers.” Steve winced as he finally looked seeing the hello kitty’s on the wall next to the tv.

“I swear you’re supposed to watch her! Not sleep! I left you for less then 20 minutes steven!” Steve winced at the use of his name “she’s trashed my house! I’m not sure I can even get these off!” Bucky was ranting.

“Buck-” “no, let me finish it could take days to clean up her mess and it’s all because you fell asleep” “Bucky-” “I’m not done yet! And do you know she could’ve caused a bigger issue then this? What if she’d gotten hurt Steven!” “James!” Steve raised his voice and bucky looked at him following his gaze to you.

You stood in the doorway of the kitchen lollipop in hand, tears welling in your big doe eyes. Your daddy didn’t find it pretty. He wanted to get rid of it. Your daddy’s mad at you. You did a bad thing. You hiccuped and dropped your treat it shattering across the tile floor as you ran back into your playroom tears falling down your cheeks.

“Shit.” Bucky sighed a hand going through his hair. “I’ve got her just finish dinner” Steve said getting up and walking around your suckers mess and into your playroom.

You were cuddled up in your giant white beanbag your octopus stuffie clutched next to you. Your body trembled as you soaked the fur of your beanbag.

“Little one?” Steve called softly “it’s okay, daddy isn’t upset with you.” You lifted your head up “but daddy…daddy…daddy” you couldn’t get your words out and Steve sat down in your floor “come here” he patted his lap and you waddled over into him.

“Let’s calm down first Okay? Remember what dada taught you, deep breaths and count to 3” you nodded and took a deep breath counting to 3 and then letting it go, you repeated it a few times before you felt a lot calmer your tears stopping.

“Daddy isn’t mad at you baby, he’s mad at dada because dada should be watching you.” He explained “but he said I ruined it…trashed it” you started to tear up again as you repeated his words and Steve sighed holding you to his chest as he rocked you.

Steve got you asleep and sighed carrying you up to their room instead of your own, he laid you down and tucked you in sitting your stuffie next to you.

Bucky had cleaned up your sucker pieces and threw them away before focusing on dinner. When Steve came walking into the kitchen Bucky sighed “she okay?” Steve crossed his arms “of course not, she thinks she trashed ‘your’ house” Bucky heard the bite in the word your and realized he had upset them both.

“Steve I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry, this is our house” Steve didn’t buy it for a second “seriously I’m sorry, I feel bad I said those things. It’s not my house it’s ours” Steve lightened up a little “your forgiven.” Bucky smiled and ran a hand over his beard “now how am I gonna get her to forgive me”

***

Steve woke you up for dinner allowing you to come down at your own pace. With Olivia (your octopus) in hand you patted down the stairs. You immediately ran to Steve hooking your arms around his waist as he stood at the counter.

Dada sat his hand on your head smiling down at you as he combed through your locks with his fingers. You hid your face in his side not wanting to look at your daddy, hoping he couldn’t see you next to dada.

Of course he could though, he sat the last bowl of dinner on the table and you heard his knees pop as he crouched down next to you. “Princess..” his tone was a lot softer now but it didn’t make you budge. “Daddy’s sorry for the things he said when he was angry.” You still didn’t peek your head out.

“Little one, can you look at daddy please?” You shook your head and you felt your dada chuckle. “Princess daddy wants to show you something, will you please come look?” You turned your head after a minute seeing his hand held out. You slowly took it and allowed him to lead you towards your playroom.

He stopped right outside the door and you turned to look at the wall, all your hello kitty stickers had been moved to the wall, well not all but most of them. “Listen, daddy knows you were doing it out of the goodness in your heart. You didn’t do it to be bad or to get in trouble, so daddy made you a sticker wall, you can stick as many as you want to this wall, just this one” you nodded as he explained a smile creeping on your face.

“Thank you daddy!” Your smiled and hugged his waist “it’s pretty!” You said and daddy smiled down at you. “I’m glad I did good, daddys really sorry he hurt you like that babydoll, can you please forgive me?” He asked and you nodded tugging him down to kiss his cheek.

“Let’s go eat, yeah? Before dada eats it all” you giggled and grabbed his hand tugging him back down to the table where Steve was sitting.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

On the Side

Warnings: noncon and rape, forced breeding/pregnancy, intimidation, abuse of power, breaking and entering, cheating.

This is dark!Andy Barber and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You try to forget Andy but he won’t forget you..

Based on this drabble request:

Andy Barber + breeding/forced pregnancy + “how did you get in here?” + I want chaos, maybe the reader figures out she is pregnant or something. Abuse of authority by him or maybe a post kid scene by Andy. I would love if a post kid glimpse is included and how the reader is scared af of Andy with time. @oneoftheprettynerds​

(fuck tumbler not letting me click on the gif I wanted but whatever, it’s Andy)

🧸🧸🧸

Nothing was like it used to be, especially you. Your hands shook when you were lost in thought, when you thought of him, and that happened often. How could you not every morning when you woke up and found yourself bigger than the last? As your stomach grew and made it harder to forget?

Even when the nausea dissipated, the ache in your hips took its place as the shadow of his deed. 

You laid on the couch, your head against the arm and your hand on your stomach. You dozed off quickly as the television buzzed. There was so much to do but you didn’t have the energy; dishes, mopping, sweeping, you really should take the trash out too. All those worries faded but were replaced by another in your subconscious.

The memory twisted in your mind to a nightmare. Jacob was too old for a babysitter but Laurie also didn’t trust him after his run-in with the law, the story that painted the Nelson headlines for months. You were a bit old yourself to be watching kids for under minimum wage but it was as much a favour as it was a job.

After your placement at the children’s home ended, it was just a temporary gig. And with your modest pay often came a free meal. Jacob was a twerp, he hated that you were his personal chaperone, that at his age he was being treated like a toddler. You couldn’t fault him but neither could you his mother.

And Andy, her husband, he thought it was sort of funny when he wasn’t brooding over his son or lecturing him. He wasn’t as suspicious or shifty around Jacob as his wife, but he still added weight to the load on the adolescent’s shoulders. He wanted him to stay out of trouble until at least college but that would be a whole other can of worms.

Then that night. You were stupid. You didn’t realise Jacob climbed out his window and when Andy came back to find him gone, you got the rant usually reserved for his son. Laurie tried to placate him but you could tell she was worried and just as frustrated with you. But his music had kept going and you swore you heard him in there.

Andy drove you around in silence, broken only by another verbal thrashing. Laurie was stupid to think she could hire a nanny for Jacob but you were worse for letting a teenager outsmart you. Then he stopped and you realised how far out you were. Jacob wouldn’t be around here, not in the slums. He was a brat but he hung with the suburban troublemakers.

“I’ll let Laurie know I decided to fire you,” he said as he shifted into park and killed the engine, “can’t trust you. Maybe you can handle primary schoolers but not our son.”

“Mr. Barber,” you begged in your distorted voice.

Your mind skipping forward and suddenly he was on top of you, the seat reclined beneath you as your shirt was twisted above your chest and your pants on the floor in front of your seat. Andy thrusted between your legs and sent pain through your spine. You tried to tell him to stop but your tortured subconscious muted you. His touch and your fear suffocated you.

You woke with a start and sat up with a groan. You blinked as you tried to shake away the dream. He was there. Sitting in the chair just watching you. It had been almost six months and suddenly he was there.

“How did you get in here?” you gasped and turned your legs over the couch, “how--” you touched your forehead, “I’m still sleeping. It’s a bad dream--”

“You’re clever,” he said and the timbre of his voice assured you that you really were awake, “not answering my calls, I thought you needed time. Then when I went around your mom’s, she said you suddenly packed up and moved out. How’s that when you were living off our scraps?”

“Andy, how-- get out,” you stood but not without a struggle.

His eyes fell to your stomach, “now I know why,” he rose and kept you from getting further than the end of the couch, “you just going to raise my kid in this shithole?”

“I did you a favour. I left. So she didn’t know, so no one knew,” you tried to side step him and he grabbed your upper arms, “this shithole is mine and this baby will never be yours.”

“You’re wrong,” he urged you back and nudged you off-balance, you fell back onto the couch under your own weight, “you can’t change what happened.”

“How did you find me?” you asked.

“Got friends at the PD and you called your mother last Tuesday,” he smiled as he looked down at you.

“What about Laurie? Jacob? What you did--”

“What we did,” his hand drifted down from his belt and he brushed across the bulge twitching in his pants, “it was fun, wasn’t it?”

You shook your head and tried to push yourself up. He caught your shoulders and forced you back onto the cushion. He got to his knees on the floor between yours and cradled your stomach.

“If it wasn’t, you’d have forgotten about it completely,” he said as he pushed your shirt up and rubbed your bump, “but you didn’t.”

“No,” you caught his hand, “leave me alone--”

“If I leave you alone, you’ll be out of diapers and mashed peas before the kid’s babbling,” he snarled and gripped your hand, “I’ll do my part,” his fingers traced down the crease of your thigh, “you just gotta do yours.”

🧸🧸🧸

If you liked this, please reblog and leave some feedback. Thanks for reading!

[pixy-stix-art]

Idk if anyone else has asked, but I’d be like to see the first time naga!Tommy nommed Wilbur, if that’s alright?

Here’s the angsty naga noms I was talking about and completely forgot to actually write….sorry if you didn’t want something this angsty anon. But as I was writing I just kept adding warnings. Sorry not sorry.

This is part two to another story I wrote. This takes place like a month or two before the other one.

(Warnings: safe vore, mouth play, fearplay, swearing, talk of death, thinking one is going to die, talk of not safe vore, panic attack, minor injury)

———————————————————————

Willbur ran through the woods sweat dripping down his face. He looked back to see he was still being fallowed. He was, trees were being torn down behind him. He yelled as he almost his a tree when he looked forwards again. He stumbled into a clearing, his legs were going to give out he thought. He tried running through the clearing to get out of direct sight, but he wasn’t quick enough. A giant pale hand reached from him from the trees. He screamed only just dodging the clawed hand. He had to get out of here! He was so tired and he knew he was only being played with. He was almost tempted to just give up, but he know he would die if he did. He didn’t want to die. He screamed as yet another giant hand reached for him.

He had been trying to get to Tommy’s cave. A young naga he had meet a few weeks ago. He had first thought Tommy was going to kill him. But the red naga only seemed to want a friend. So he talked to the kid for a few hours and he was let go. He had gotten more curious and had gone back to find Tommy. He got lost and Tommy found him. He seemed surprised that Willbur had come back to see him. He spent the night in Tommy’s cave. He started to actually like the giant naga. So he kept coming back much to Tommy’s surprise. And today was supposed to be like any other meet up. But he had been found by another even bigger naga on his way there. This one was green and had made it very clear what he wanted to do with Willbur.

Willbur gasped for air as he was picked up in a tight fist. He struggled as much as he could. But it wasn’t going to do anything. He was going to die. He was pulled close to the green nagas mouth and screamed as a forked tongue slipped out to taste him.

“Mmhmm… very nice.” They naga smiled. “You taste even better then you smell.” The naga purred.

“N-no! Don’t eat me!” He got one arm free from the grip. He tried pushing the nagas face away from him. He only succeed in getting his arm licked more. “Let me go!” He screamed, his voice already sore.

“I don’t think I will little snack.” The naga smiled showing off all their sharp fangs in front of Willbur.

“N-no! The village will know I’m missing and come after you! W-with swords and hunters!” He yelled. “You can’t kill me!”

“You think some little humans scare me? Just more snacks to me.” He brought Willbur even closer to his mouth. So he could feel the hot humid breath wash over him.

“You can’t just-” Willbur was cut off as he was shoved half way into the nagas mouth. He yelled as he felt sharp teeth clamp down on his waist. He kicked his feet a little so scared to move much. Or he’d cut in half. He push trying to force open the mouth. His arm slipped on the slick surface, he cut his arm on a sharp fang. He long tongue instantly curled around the injury tasting his blood. He sobbed, pretty sure he was having a panic attack. He realized he’s not going home tonight. The wet tongue curled around him coating him in thick saliva. He had lost all his energy to fight back long ago. All he could do was lay limp as he was sucked on like he was a piece of candy.

“I caught it, it’s mine.” They green naga said.

“It was in my territory, so by the rules it’s mine to eat. Unless you want me to tell the grand counsel how you are disobeying the rules Dream.” Tommy said firmly.

Willbur froze hearing Tommy call him a it. And mention how he was going to eat him. His panic riddled mind couldn’t fully figure the rest of it out. Counsel? What was that? All he knew was that he now had two nagas wanting to eat him. One of which he thought had been a friend….

Willbur whimpered as apparently Dream, as the green naga was called, growled at being told to hand Willbur over.

“You won’t.” Dream said glaring at the younger.

“You know I will. And you know Phil will listen to me.” Tommy threaten. He looked a little smug about it too.

Dream squeezed Willbur in his fist making him scream. He could feel his already bruised ribs bending at the pressure. He thought he might pass out. Finally he was let go, dropped into a more familiar pair of hands. He curled up, too weak and scared to move. More gentle fingers curled up around him rubbing his back. He hated that he felt comfort from it. Tommy wasn’t going to keep him safe. Not anymore.

“Well?” Dream questioned.

“What?” Tommy growled. He wanted to keep Willbur close to comfort him, but he couldn’t with Dream still here.

“Are you going to eat it or what?” He glared. He wasn’t leaving till he saw the human taken care of.

“I- I like eating in private.” Tommy cursed his stuttering. This wasn’t the plan! Dream was supposed to leave.

“No. Eat it now, or I will.” Dream said with a growl.

“I-“ Tommy looked panicked looking down at Willbur. He didn’t look good…. Tommy couldn’t help but think he looked broken. In more ways then one. He could eat Willbur and keep him safe at the same time. But he hated to do that to the human. But he didn’t have another choice.

“Fine, I’ll eat hi- it now.” He sighed. He brought Willbur up to his mouth being as gentle as possible without it being noticeable. He placed Willbur in him mouth cringing at the taste of blood. He hope he wasn’t too injured.

“Tommy…?” He whimpered as he was out in yer another mouth. He hoped Tommy would feel at lest a little bad about eating him.

The tongue slid over his arm making him gasped in pain. Everything froze, going still as he held his arm close, crying at the pain. Then everything moved. Gravity shifted and he slid back to the back of the mouth. “No, no no no no no..” Willbur muttered. “No! Tommy don’t please! Don’t do this! Please I don’t want to die! Tommy!” He screamed as he was swallowed back.

Tommy felt his heart beak hearing Willbur scream for his life. He wished he could tell him he’d be ok. That Tommy was just keeping him safe. He glared at Dream in full anger. “Now leave.” He said voice cold and calm. To calm.

Dream seemed to understand he wasn’t welcomed and slithered out of sight. “I better not see you again Dream! I’ll kill you! If I see you again!” Tommy yelled after him. He sighed head foggy from rage. He gasped as he remembered he needed to check on Will. He placed his hands over where he felt the small human in his brooding pouch. He wasn’t even moving… Tommy’s began to panic. “W-Willbur? Are you ok?” He asked gently pressing down on him.

Willbur curled up tight in a ball not bothering to move from where he had fallen into the stomach. He huffed hearing Tommy ask if he was ok.

“No! I’m not alright you dickhead!” He screamed. He was confused angry and sad. He just stared yelling. “How dare you do this! I thought we were friends! You- you said you wouldn’t hurt me. That you’d keep me safe. Was all that a lie? We’re you just going to eat me this whole time?” He was sobbing by the end of his rant. Hot angry tears ran down his face.

“No, of course it wasn’t all a lie! We are friends Willbur. I promise you’re safe. I just had to eat you so Dream wouldn’t.” He wanted to cry hearing Willburs words. He really thought he was going to die.

“Oh? Then let me out of here if you’re not going to hurt me!” He challenged.

“I-I can’t. I’m so sorry I would, but you’re so injured I don’t want to hurt you worse by bringing you back up.” He started to head home. Back to the cave.

“That’s what I thought.” Willbur sighed. He struggled to move and get more comfortable. Though he was probably going to be really uncomfortable in a second….

“I promise that your safe. You’ll see, in the morning I’ll let you out. Promise.” Tommy said. And he will. Willbur might not even come see him again. But at lest the human world be alive. Willbur hating him, was better then Willbur being dead.

He didn’t have enough energy to think let alone do anymore yelling. His whole body hurt. He curled up with the small hope burning in his chest, that maybe Tommy was telling the truth. He’d just have to see in the morning. He drifted off to sleep not wanting to be awake if he died.

Tommy got back to his cave curling up in his nest. He curled his tail protectively around his middle. He felt Willbur get heavier as he fell asleep. He hoped he could explain more in the morning. He had finally found someone who actually seemed to want to hang around him. But of course Willbur would never want to see him again now. He quietly cried himself to sleep that night. He had lost his only friend.

[x-childish-x]

Hello!! I was wondering if you can do a kurt x reader with promts 4, 20, 22, 24, 25, 34, 35, 36, 38, 48, 49, 52. sorry for so many promtes but if you can do it than tysm and if you can't than that's fine lol

Looking Back

Pairing: Kurt Wagner x fem!reader

Fandom: X-Men

Warnings: angst-ish, sadness, cheating boyfriend, cussing, degradation from ex-boyfriend, mutant reader, happy ending, cuddling

Word Count: 1,114

A/N: Hello lovely! First off, thank you for this request, I hope you enjoy it and feedback is always appreciated! Don't apologize at all for requesting a lot of prompts, I love the challenge and a lot of these prompts were one's I've been dying to get in a request! This was fun to write and I truly hope that you enjoy it!

Summary: You look back on your relationship with your ex and how lucky you are to have Kurt now.

(gif not mine!)

Looking back, you suppose it was never going to work. 

You had always felt you were too intense for Tyler, never realizing that you were just with the wrong man. You'd come home early from the mansion, your intention to surprise him, only to find him in your bed with another woman that most definitely wasn't you.

You hadn't meant to explode, but you had, all the electricity in your apartment going off like a switch, your body absorbing it like a sponge. The girl screamed, taking in the sight of your arms that currently had small sparks of electricity running up and down them. She bolted past you and out of your apartment, crying about something you couldn't care less about.

"Princess-"

"I'm not your princess," You snarled out, cutting Tyler off.

He smirked, the damn boy smirked, before speaking up, "You say you hate it but your red face is telling me otherwise." 

Oh, you were raging now, the electricity flying off you in bigger sparks, "Excuse me!? This red.. it's anger, not from being flattered, you colossal dumbass! You have the never to flirt when you were just fucking another woman!"

He shrugged, sliding on sweats and getting out of the bed, "God, you've always been so touchy, you're weak-"

"You're one to speak," You snarled, directing a current of electricity through the floor to zap him, solidifying your point. 

"You bitch!" He snarled, rubbing his arms now, "It's not like I was the first one to cheat anyway!"

"The hell is that supposed to mean?"

His eyes narrowed as he stepped forward, "Kurt."

"Oh my god!" You yelled, throwing your arms up in frustration, "He's just a friend!"

"We used to be 'just friends' too!"

"You're that insecure? You know I love-- loved you, you jackass!"

He rolled his eyes, "Well, I never really loved you. Been cheating for months anyways."

Tyler smiled in triumph as your face dropped, tears welling in your eyes. Looking back, you realize that idiot wasn't worth a second of your time. You realize you should've gotten with Kurt sooner, never used Tyler as a distraction from your crush on your best friend. Your best friend, who thankfully, seemed to know exactly when you needed him.

"Forget it, you're a fucking asshole."

You spun around, intending to march into your living room when Tyler grabbed your arm. You went to shock him, maybe even completely electrify him, when a soft 'bamf' filled the room. Your head snapped to Kurt. His eyes were frantic, assessing the situation before his glare landed on your new ex-boyfriend.

"If you don’t let her go right now, I swear I will break every bone in your body."

Your smiled widened at Kurt's words as you sent a jolt of electricity to the area of your arm Tyler had been holding. He yelped in shock, jerking away from you and glaring as you bolted to Kurt. He watched as Kurt engulfed you in his arms, his tail wrapping securely around you as he glared at Tyler.

"Are you really choosing him over me?" Tyler scoffed in disgust as you looked up.

"I'd choose Kurt over you anytime," You snapped, glaring at the disgusting man.

You turned with Kurt, walking towards the door. You could come to get your things later. And you did the next day, returning with Kurt and Peter, who helped you gather your things incredibly quick. Looking back, you thought of all the times you should've done that so much sooner.

"You're gonna walk out on me, you whore? I'm the best you could ever get."

"You were the one who walked out, not me," You scoffed, turning back around, "And, the best I could ever get... is right here." 

You'd never forget the defeated look Tyler gave you as you pat Kurt's chest, who was absolutely glowing at the broken look on the man's face. It truly was one of the best moments you'd had without needing to say an incredibly witty remark. It was short, quick, and immensely true. Kurt was the best, the most amazing boyfriend you'd ever had. You only wished you hadn't been so afraid to tell him you liked him.

You jolted at Kurt's side, a small bit of electricity shocking him as your eyes opened. He smiled softly, his arm rubbing you gently as you slowly looked up at him. You hated your nightmares because they were often the same, people you loved getting hurt or the moment Tyler hurt you the most. You knew it was stupid with Kurt by your side, but for some reason, your brain still held on to those awful last moments.

"Another nightmare?" 

You nodded at his voice, scooching closer into his side, "I don't know why it bothers me so much."

"Because he hurt you."

You nodded softly at Kurt's words, fighting hard to stay awake as the lull of sleep crept upon you, "I'm just such a burden to you, Kurt. You have to let me go."

"Don't say that!" Kurt hissed, "Y/n, darling... when I asked you to be my girlfriend, I was well aware of the relationship you'd been put through. I knew your pain and your struggles, didn't I?"

You nodded softly.

"There are a thousand different ways to tell someone you love them, and I intend to try every single one. Not only because that's what you deserve, but it's what I want to do. I'm not leaving. Ever."

A smile had pulled onto your face at this point, a soft, lazy smile as Kurt repeatedly rubbed your back. He noticed your small smile, his heart swelling with love and affection at your adorable, sleepy face being squashed into his chest. A quiet giggle left your lips before you spoke up.

"What about when you die?"

"Can't I just be romantic for once?" Kurt huffed with a smile, watching the way your nose scrunched, "But... even when I die, I'll still haunt you. I'll leave roses with you each day, I'll make plates break when you don't eat, I'll make you buy one of those scary boards so we can still talk. I love you (y/n), and not even death could prevent me from showing my love for you."

As he finished his miniature rant, Kurt looked down at you. He smiled widely at the sight of you fully asleep, a small smile on your lips. Kurt loved, more than anyone ever had, and more than you ever thought possible. Looking back on everything you'd been through made Kurt decide that you would never, ever go another day in your life, believing that you weren't completely and utterly loved.

[physicalturian]

[G] My Prince - Nikolai Lantsov x Fem!Reader

[Spoilers for : Shadow and Bone; Siege and Storm; Run and Rising] [No spoilers for : King of Scars ; Rule of Wolves; Six of Crows; Crooked Kingdom]

[She/her pronouns used for the reader, no physical description; Everyone +18] Words : 9569 Archive of our own

Tags : Flirting / War / Fluff / PTSD / Cuteness / Awkwardness / Soft / Love confession

Request stated : Hi ! Could you do a Nikolai Lantsov x reader request ? Where they are in love and have been together since she joined his crew after running away from the Little Palace but then everything happens and they break up because he has to marry Alina and then after he becomes human again and the Darkling is killed they get back together.

- - -

Everything happened so fast, the attack on the Little Palace by The Darkling, the explosions, the blinding light from the roof, all my fallen friends on the ground bathing in their own blood. Names were screamed in despair; we all retaliated the best we could, but we were outnumbered by far. I did not know what were those things that came flying straight for me, but I couldn’t move, I was paralyzed by fear. I tried to get out of the way, no matter how many times I told myself to dodge, I couldn’t. And yet, I saw the demon-like bird’s claws pass right next to me, only grazing my cheek as I was thrown out of its way.

“Now, I understand those creatures are fascinating, but they’re not exactly the friendliest,” I heard next to me, a hand gripping my arm tightly. I couldn’t move, but felt a gloved hand turned my face and look at me, “You!” “Your knight in shining armor, the honor was all mine,” The blond said with a smirk, but there was still urgency behind it.

 Looking around quickly, he told me to hide behind one of the trees and came back with a few other Grisha before hurrying us back to what looked like a flying ship. I wanted to stare at it a moment before the man lifted me off the ground, “I know it’s impressive, they all say that, but now’s not the time to look,” He said in a light, playful even, yet serious tone as he helped me on deck, he once more told me to stay, maybe even sit then left.

 This was my first encounter with Nikolai Lantsov, the bastard son, the witty only living heir to the throne of Ravka.

 I did not remember much of that night until I got on the ship, I know I was brought of change of clothes, my red kefta was a tone deeper, wetter than it used to be. When I placed my hand on the fabric, and looked at my palm, blood stared right at me. I did not know what to say, and only stared at it until a hand placed a wet washcloth on mine. “Unless the Little Palace hid blood-sucking people in their basement, which I wouldn’t be surprised of, and you’re hungry- then it’d be better to clean yourself up, dear.”

 “I’m not a vampire.” I uttered before grabbing the cloth from his hand and slowly getting the blood off myself, taking off the kefta, I still had clothes underneath, but I did feel the frilly temperature of the night. I throw a glance at the prince and found him looking anywhere but at me, “Why aren’t you looking?”

 He huffed, a smug smile adorning his features, “Is that a request? If so, I’ll gladly-“ “No, not a request. Just curious.” I replied with a huff. I couldn’t help the tired smile on my lips as I dipped the cloth back in the water to finish removing the blood before putting on the clean clothes I was offered. “I might be known as the bastard son, but I still have the education of a prince,” He paused. “But don’t worry, I’ll gladly look when you’ll ask for it-“

 “Gross, no thank you,” I glanced at him and nodded, “But thank you for the clothes. I should probably… do something-” Then I remembered, my eyes widened when the penny dropped, I quickly scrambled to my senses and got up, giving the best curtsy I could muster in this state, “Your highness, your highness, pardon my being improper I-“ He shook his head and stood up, laughing charmingly but also what seemed to be exhausted. “Don’t, right now call me Nikolai, some call me Too-Clever fox,” A smile made its way on his lips, “But you can also call me handsome, pretty face,”

 Laughing, I interrupted him, “I think Nikolai is a fine name, I’ll be sure not to remind you of your title, your high- Nikolai.” He looked at me for a moment, his mouth widening into a grin as he asked me my name. When I told him, he shook his head and held my hand gently, “I think ‘gorgeous’ suits you better,” he then pressed a kiss on my knuckles. I pulled my hand away, rolling my eyes.

 “Call me as you please, I do not really care,” When he was about to reply, Zoya called him, if not pressed him, to come, saying they had to talk. I was ready to leave, but he pulled my hand once again, “Ah, duty does not wait, but my heart does, hopefully you will?” I scoffed and swatted his hand away, “I’ll be going, no one makes Zoya Nazyalensky wait, you should hurry if you do not wish to be thrown overboard.” I said playfully before leaving.

 This was the extent of my first encounter with Nikolai Lantsov.

 We encountered one another a lot more, but those happened at night. I kept having dreams of the attack on the Little Palace. I would wake up in the middle of the night, breathless, sweating, and unable to go back to sleep. Not wanting to wake the people around me, I’d go back on deck, there would be squallers and inferni, making the ship work, while the prince would be sitting with plans in front of him. A thoughtful expression on his face. I blamed my tired state for the first time the thought crossed my mind, but under the moonlight, his expression determined and focused… He was almost handsome.

 I must have stared too long that time, he lifted his head from the plans and looked at me curiously before smiling and beckoning me to come closer. I turned around to leave but he called my name, I couldn’t ignore it, or perhaps was it because he was royalty and I felt like I couldn’t ignore him. So, I joined him, sat by his side and did not say anything. He was the one to start the conversation, “The dreams are the worst, but you get used to it, for what it’s worth. I have them every night, from the front.”

 “Is that why you are awake, my prince?” I did not realize I had used his title; I was overcome with exhaustion and couldn’t think straight. I heard him chuckled, “War does not wait, gorgeous. We need a plan of attack,” I looked at him a moment, then at his plans. “And where do you think we’ll find the resources to build this? Ravka is overcome with debts,”

 This is when he started ranting, with eagerness, about what he had planned. What was going to happen, the steps to follow, I listened intently, finding it almost endearing how passionate he was about it but forgot that thought as I fell back asleep.

 I did apologize when I woke, about falling asleep, telling him it wasn’t boring, but that I was exhausted. He tutted me and added, “Nonsense, I enjoyed watching you sleep, did you know you snor-“ “I do not snore. And it’s definitely creepy to watch someone sleep, my prince.”  He only laughed in response. Something in my stomach churned, I shouldn’t be friendly with him, but it felt easy to be as such with him.

 He had this easiness about him, this charm that one couldn’t help but let themselves be drawn to. It was a useful skill if he were to become King of Ravka, a skill that he had honed throughout years of… What had the young prince been doing these past few years? I never saw him inside the palace, as if he wasn’t even there. But he hadn’t been doing nothing, he seemed full of resources.

 While I pondered some more, I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up, Zoya gestured for me to get up and to look. As I did, I saw a gorgeous looking building made of glass, “What is that place? Did you know it existed?” I asked her in awe, she only shook her head before adding that the prince was full of surprises and for now it was useful, but she was keeping an eye on him.

 “I do like to keep a few tricks up my sleeve, it comes in handy when I want to see that look of surprise on the face of pretty women,” Two sighs followed his words, one from Zoya and another from me before we moved away from him and made our way to slightly unsteady lift that led us deeper inside what Nikolai introduced to us as the Spinning Wheel. I did not feel safe underground, and yet, when our feet met the ground, it felt as if a weight had been lifted from my chest.

 This place was foreign to me, I was used to the safety of the Little Palace’s walls, knowing all that was happening, when it’d happen. When the attack had happened, that routine had been disrupted and I knew it was never coming back. It was the beginning of something big, something I did not want to get used to. And yet, right now, between these gorgeous walls, with people running around, crates in hands, sweat dripping from their foreheads as if they had been working non-stop, and with few peoples I knew… I felt safer. Not entirely safe, but a step closer to feeling such.

 “You do like to daydream, I can’t blame you, I am quite the sight,” Said the blond prince as he joined my side, looking where I was looking. I felt his shoulder hit mine and shuffled away, still wanting to put some distance between a man I knew I should fear for he had power where I had not. “I got lost in thoughts. I’m still trying to take in what this all means,” I said softly, meeting the blonde’s joyous gaze, when he met mine, he seemed to be shaken only for a moment before fondness replaced the excitement.

 “It’s something big, bigger than all of us,” he started, making me sigh in loss of hope, as I mumbled, “What are we even doing if it’s impossible to win?” It made the prince laugh as he grinned at me. I did not like how lightly he was taking the situation and was about to give him a piece of my mind when he said, “When people say impossible, they mean improbable,” “We lost the only possible person who could take the Darkling, I don’t see Alina anywhere around,” I stated, my arms open wide as I turned around to emphasize her missing.

 “Being optimistic is sometimes very close to being delusional, my prince, I do not buy that bullshit attitude of yours-“ “Hope is what keeps us alive. Soldiers and Grisha alike, we’re all tired, exhausted even and even though you do not appreciate that bullshit attitude of mine, it is what we all need.” He said in a very political way, with that charming smile, “And even without the sun summoner, I’m pretty sure I can outwit that old geezer,” He said in full confidence, almost puffing his chest as he said so.

 “What we need is to be better prepared, they did not teach us how to fight at the Little Palace,” I paused and observed the young prince a moment, “When you become King, you should change that, because this is only the beginning, my prince,” Before I could leave to join Zoya that I could see at one of door, not only did she disappear out of sight, but I felt the King grab my wrist. Scowling, I stopped in my tracks and looked at him, “Grisha will be training with soldiers, you will not go unprepared,”

 His tone was serious, then a smug smile drew itself on his lips as he let go of my wrist, “But what did I tell you, gorgeous? Call me Nikolai, this situation does not call for formalities,” He was changing topic, perhaps he did not want to talk about such matters with me, or perhaps he wanted a change of air. I played along and gestured for him to walk with me, “Well, Nikolai, if you could show me to the Grisha quarters-“ “Oh it’s now mixed rooms, hope you do not mind,” He threw me a playful grin, “If you do, I shall let you know that I am the owner of a single room. Now, it’s close to the King and Queen’s room, but I’ll be sure to ask the fabrikators to help with the acoustic, the King does snore very loudly,”

 I rolled my eyes, hopefully hiding that I thought he meant something else with the acoustic. We didn’t talk more afterwards, for I did not ask him any other question and he seemed to understand I was not in the mood to talk. The situation we were in stressed me out and talking about it in details did not help. When he led me to my shared room, he slipped away to meet up with Zoya along other Grisha and soldiers.

 I never considered taking him up on his offer of the single room.

 While everyone trained during the day, and it was tiresome, so tiresome that I would pass out the moment my head would hit the pillow, I would still wake up during the night. My body almost shaking in fear. I could still see those screeching creatures coming for me, the dread I felt that night, bodies surrounding me. Blue, red or purple, it did not matter, every kefta had ended up tainted in blood. We were taught to use our power, promised safety but never taught to deal with such things.

 Running a hand on my face, I got out of bed without a sound and made my way out once more. If every night was going to end up like this, I might as well find a quiet spot to sleep and give my room to someone who could use it, I thought as I tightened my kefta around my form. I walked up the stairs to, hopefully, find peace and calm down by staring at the stars. I let out a sigh of relief when I found nobody there and sat against the wall to look up the stars.

 I do not know how long as stayed there, trying to steer my thoughts away from the depressing feelings I was feeling, and it was hard, I could barely manage it. When I remembered a good memory, I was reminded that the friend I shared it with was laying on the ground, dead. I tried not to cry, I promise, but failed. My peace was interrupted by someone clearing their throat nearby. I turned around and instinctively tightened my fist, slowing their heart before I could see who it was.

 I let go just as fast when I saw the blond prince in front of me, he breathed out heavily, “Usually, I’m the one who has the ladies say ‘my heart stopped’ but dare I say, you left me breathless,” he scoffed humorously. I rushed to his side, wiping my tears away, apologizing as I patted his chest, his arms, anything, I did not know what to do. “I’m fine, don’t you worry gorgeous. It takes a lot more than that to take me down, I’m quite resilient, something the King never quite liked.” I squinted my eyes, not knowing what it meant before stepping back.

 “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t the brain of the war be resting?” I asked with my arms crossed over my chest. It made Nikolai chuckle, “You flatter me, I am indeed smart and do require sleep,” He paused. “I should also let you know, I have people on watch who warn me of the whereabouts of everyone here. You can imagine my surprise to hear you sneaked out at this hour, gorgeous.”

 Sighing, I turned around and sat back where I was, “I feel like you’re not going to leave until I tell you,” I pondered out loud, nodding, Nikolai joined me saying I was very right then added, “But I’m fairly confident I can guess what’s bothering that pretty mind of yours,” I quirked a brow at the blond, wordlessly telling him to go ahead. “The nightmares are not going to leave just like that,” he snapped his fingers. “I know… I know… I’m just trying to clear my thoughts, I can’t fall back asleep when I wake up from that,”

 “You did not seem to have any trouble on deck,” He pondered out loud, his eyes observing all my moves. I looked straight ahead, not wanting to let him read me. I shrugged, brought my knees to my chest and rested my arms on it to lay my head on them. “I guess my focus was on you and not my thoughts, maybe that’s why… it doesn’t matter though,” Turning my head, I looked him up and down, and changed topic, “Sorry again for the,” I moved my hands vaguely, talking about moments ago when I slowed his heart, “Thing, you startled me,”

 He laughed and shoved his hand in the pocket of his coat, pulling out a notebook and a pen, “It’s all in the past, we can go back to you loving the sound of my voice so much you fall asleep to it,” “I did not say that,” Opening his notebook, he started doodling as he spoke, “No need to, I reckon it’ll be demonstrated when you’ll fall asleep once more as I start explaining this great idea I had with David earlier this afternoon, it’s underwater boats and…” If someone asked me, I’d say I was bothered by the prince’s presence.

 But no one asked. It was just me and my thoughts, and his presence was secretly welcomed. He was funny to be around, light-hearted. I know behind all of this, was a man riddled with responsibilities, problems and perhaps as much stress as I was. But maybe we both needed this, someone else to simply hang out with. Not talk about the civil war, simply enjoy one another’s presence. I do not know what I brought him, if anything I thought he’d want to leave.

 But he stayed. We met up like this almost every night, on this very spot.

 It became close to a habit, when I’d wake up during the night and sneak out of my room, I’d see the blond leaning against the door frame, a smile on his lips. He’d wave at me before following my steps. Sometimes he’d remark how I was earlier or late, I’d just laugh it off and gesture for him to just follow. One night he suggested we’d perhaps take blankets, adding that as much as he enjoyed those little escapades of ours, he would rather avoid losing his toes. Since that night, there was a crate outside with blankets.

 Tonight, I’d taken upon myself to bring a book too. I felt bad, falling asleep when Nikolai would enthusiastically rant, it did not stop him from talking though. He would often mumble to himself or ask me questions I couldn’t answer but I’d try nonetheless, making him think before his face would light up as if he had the greatest idea. He would resume his scribbling.

 Tonight, however, he went silent, when I looked his way, I saw he was reading over my shoulder, I quickly placed my hand on the pages and closed the book. He whined, going for the book, “Come on, it was getting to the best part,” When I felt his cold hand touch mine, I simply let him take the book and shrugged, my face warming up, I was not going to play tug war to keep my book. His face was startled for a moment, if not hurt.

 I felt bad. I did not mean it as anything bad, I simply got caught off guard. And I also knew the feelings that had started developing within me and knew I could not act on it nor let myself believe anything would happen. He was royalty, he was a war leader… he was funny, and brought warmth to my cold, cold, heart.

 So, I chuckled nervously, “Your hands are cold, my prince-“ “Nikolai, it’s Nikolai. I’d think you’d remember it by now considering the many nights we’ve spent together, most women would remember it by the end of the first night,” He said charmingly, as he opened the book on the right page on my lap and leaned back against the wall to face his notes.

 “Am I most women? I find myself to be quite different from others, the nightmares add to the charm do they not? I even thought we had something special,” I said in a jokingly dramatic manner as I turned a page and waited anxiously for his reply, inside I regretted saying anything. Why did I want him to tell me we had something? I was being delusional, this was but companionship, we both had trouble sleeping and found one another’s company enjoyable, that was all. Pure, platonic companionship.

 I heard him chuckle and dared look his way, I felt my face warm up when I saw him looking at me with a huge smile as he was leaning on his fist, his elbow resting on his knee. He looked slightly stupid in this position, but also cute. “I think I found the pattern; all things have a pattern. It’s only a matter of finding it to understand,” I quirked a brow at his words and closed the book on my lap, making sure to put the bookmark. “For example, I like my women strong and hard to get,” I felt my heart skip a beat but only rolled my eyes in response.

 “How charming, where are you getting at, my prince- Nikolai,” He made a victory sound, and leaned forward, pointing at me with his index as his grin widened. “This, exactly this, oh this is good,” He said excitedly. I couldn’t help the small smile on my lips. I was waiting for him to develop, “Tell me if I’m wrong, gorgeous, but I think you’ve fallen for my charms.”

I raised my brows in surprise and hid my embarrassment by simply questioning, “That’s quite the reach, I do wonder how you came to the conclusion,”

 That cocky smile never left his lips, he grabbed my book and set it down on the ground, then resting his hand next to it as he leaned in. I leaned back. “I’ll wait longer, I need to test that theory first, I’ll keep you up to date gorgeous,” He winked, brought my knuckle to his lips and pressed a delicate kiss on it before returning to his thinking.

 This time he talked loud enough for it to be thought a conversation, which ruined my reading plans. I rested my head on my knees and looked at him as he talked. It was a close call, maybe I should be more careful with what I do if he knew I liked him. I was not going to abandon our late-night talks, but maybe I should be more aware of what I do. I did not know what was my tell, but I was going to make sure to not let it slide anymore.

 I fell asleep soon after. I think I felt something cold touch my hand before passing out, but it was probably the ground.

 We never stopped the late-night conversations. Only, I felt like the young prince was more insistent with his flirtatious ways, and I couldn’t say I was immune to his charms. He would say the most ridiculous things, and yet I would laugh and feel weird in my stomach, like,

 “Focused and determined, if I did not know it was a romantic story, I’d think you were doing hard maths. One would wish you’d look at them as intensely as you stared at those pages, gorgeous.” He once said, I huffed a laugh, suddenly feeling self-conscious with his intense gaze, “Perhaps my prince wishes I’d look at him that way?” I said half-jokingly. “Oh, you already do, I can feel your stare when I’m talking about my inventions, it’s endearing to see you so enthralled when I talk,” He said with a smug smile.

 I looked away, focusing my gaze on the sky, “I’m not enthralled, I’m confused, go back to your notes,” I mumbled, opening my book again.

 Another time, we were talking heatedly about a topic we both had in common that I found the most interesting. At some point during the conversation, he would only pitch in from time to time, it took me some time to notice that I had been rambling. When I stopped and told him to go on, he shook his head, “Nonsense, I find there’s a certain glow to your pretty person as you talk about things you hold close to you heart. One’s mind tends to wonder if an expression as beautiful as yours could be brought at the mention of one’s name…” He trailed off with a slight smirk.

 “Nonsense” I imitated his tone playfully, “One could maybe talk as themselves if one feels there is something they’d like to share, wouldn’t you think my prince?” I asked rhetorically, my face was warming up. I hoped I read it right, I hoped he wasn’t just flirting for fun and hoped he felt the same way, but I was not going to take the first step. Would it not be considered arrogant of someone like me to think I had a chance with a prince?

 His laugh reached my ears, then an excited huff as he moved away from the wall and scooted closer to me, sitting perpendicular of me. “Are you curious of my theory, gorgeous?”

 I was, if he was asking, it meant I hadn’t been able to hide it as good as I thought I had been, “Not in the slightest, no,” I replied off-handedly. He turned me around, his hands gripping my shoulders as I faced him, “But you are, I can see it! You are curious, and a bad liar, but don’t worry, your secret is safe with me” He winked as he drew a cross over his heart. “See, this theory of mine,” He paused and pulled out his notebook, “Which has been proven, right here,” He showed me his notes, but I could barely read it.

 I knew he wrote well, but when it was more of a brainstorming, or rushed notes, he wrote like a pirate. I nodded for him to continue. “You like me, we’ve been over that-“ “I don’t think we have, you seem very confident though,”

He tutted me and continued, “You only call me ‘my prince’ when you’re flustered or embarrassed, as if you’re trying to distance yourself, am I wrong?” He asked with a breathtaking smile, he was overjoyed by this. As if he had solved the most difficult problem of his life, which I hardly think it was.

 “I don’t-“ “Did you notice, in casual conversations, you call me Nikolai, as you should. But the moment I flirt with you,” He changed his tone when he continued and imitated a sort of shyness, “my prince,” he said with a heartful laugh.

 I know he meant it as a joke, but I took it at heart and scoffed. I threw him a cautious glance, taking in how handsome he looked under the moonlight. How his hair was still a bit messy from waking up in the middle of the night, I never knew if he couldn’t sleep either or if he woke up for me, but I believe the former was more probable.

 There was moment of silence, which was rare with Nikolai Lantsov. As if he could not bear the silence, but he never said so, instead he did the conversation all by himself. He always knew what to say, no matter who he was talking to, maybe that’s what was going on here.

 Or perhaps he wanted me to tell him I liked him… “One tends to distance themselves when they know that liking a prince only ends up well in fairytales,” I mumbled, shrugging. I had to try hard to calm myself, even considering using my power to calm my fast-beating heart.

 “Are you saying liking me is only possible in a fairytale?” I took the bait, I had already started talking when I looked at him in panic and saw the smirk on his face, “No, I’m saying it’s not as simple as one would think to … get together with royalty,” Chuckling, he grabbed my hands in his and pulled me closer, our knees touching.

 “Let’s talk properly, shall we? I want you, and I am fairly certain you want me too-“ Nikolai started, I had to interrupt, “Pardon?” I uttered in shock; my eyes as wide as a diner plate. An unusual nervous sound left his lips, as the blond quirked a brow, “It’s hard to believe I read the room wrong, from what I gathered you do not look at anyone else the way you look at me. Though it is only fitting that I’d receive all the attention.”

 “I thought you were fake flirting Nikolai, I thought I was being delusional,” I let go of his hands and let myself fall back on the ground delicately, now staring at the starry sky, a chuckle of disbelief escaping my lips. I heard him shuffle closer as he laid down next to me. Heat was emanating from his body, making me want to scoot closer and hold him but I stood there.

 “I’ll admit I am of flirtatious nature, but you’re the only one who enjoys my talking, that is something I am grateful for,” He started, “You are also very smart, and beautiful. I wouldn’t say as beautiful as me, I am quite the charming lad,” we both chuckled, as I nudged his hand playfully. He stopped me by grabbing it and intertwining our fingers, my breath hitched, and I turned my head to face him, slowly. Nikolai was already staring at me with a lovely smile.

 I loved the idea of being with him, but I knew it wasn’t possible, “It would have been nice… to be with you that is…” I said with a sad smile, “But I don’t think the King and Queen would appreciate it, for Ravka’s sake-“ “There, already thinking like a true Queen,” He said half-jokingly, I don’t know what he was doing. He was supposed to tell me I was right, it wouldn’t work, he was supposed to cut everything off. Instead, he was entertaining the thought.

 “Dear, let’s not think of what’s to come and enjoy our time while we can, shall we?” “You say that as if we were going to die, that’s not the optimistic Prince I know.” I said humorously, not enjoying the dark turn the conversation was taking.

 “You are very right, gorgeous. You are correct that the King and Queen won’t like it, not one bit. They’re quite set on marrying me off to some wealthy princess, but I do love a challenge, let’s first win this war. Anything can happen, and until then, I would gladly have you by my side.” There was some uncertainty in his tone when he continued, almost timid. Uncharacteristic of him, but I found myself relax slightly knowing he was not always brash and charming. As if we had a common ground here in both being new to this. “If you desire to not go forth with this, I’ll respect your wish, gorgeous.”

 “I want you too Nikolai,” I heard a short sigh of relief, “And my wish is for you to kiss me, can you respect that-“ I was interrupted by a breathless laugh as two hands cradled my face gently and pulled me closer, his lips pressed against mine, I could feel the smile on his lips and could only oblige in returning it. “Good, do you want to keep this secret or-“ “I think keeping it between our closest friends would be better, not that I’m ashamed. I’d flaunt you in a heartbeat, not that people would care, but…” “-But let’s not have the court talking just yet, I’m sure women will be jealous. Who wouldn’t be with such a handsome man by your side, after all? I’m quite the catch,” He paused.

 “And maybe let’s avoid the wrath of the King and Queen’s for now,”

 “Well… I never went fishing, but I’d say you’re an OK fish,” I told him teasingly, jumping back on his saying of being a good catch. He huffed in faux-shock, “An ok fish? I’ll have you known I am more of a very handsome fox, have you seen my lush hair?”

 This was the night I find out Nikolai felt the same way I did about him. From that day, I did start considering his offer of the single room but was afraid of people finding out.

 Meeting in his bedroom would be more comfortable, in a way we wouldn’t be sitting on the floor and freezing ourselves to death. But I love the blanket of the wide-open night, the darkness of it, the secrecy it brought us, something I doubt a room next to the King and Queen’s room could bring.

 We’d play the game well. The one where we weren’t supposed to be close, it was hard to keep it up with Nikolai’s subtle flirts when we’d cross paths. During the day he’d be running around, getting things done, with other people around him and would still dare to look my way while I’d be training, and wink at me. When I’d receive a hit from losing focus and look back at him frustrated, he’d grin and mouth “careful”.

 The soldier I was training with was starting to catch on, I thought she had found out when she chuckled. “Has the little Grisha taken a liking to the young prince?” I scoffed in response, playing it off and retaliating her previous attack. “I’d be a fool if I did, let’s resume,” I was indeed a fool and there was no helping it. I was falling more and more in love with the witty prince the more I spent time with him.

 He grew bolder in his moves, making me look at him exasperated the day he asked the person I was training with, if he could practice a bit. Thinking he meant for me to leave, I stepped aside but he laughed, “You can go Zeke, I’m a bit rusty but I want to see how our little Grisha is fending for herself,”

 I looked him dead in the eyes, without showing my true feelings. I threw a glance at Zeke, hoping they wouldn’t try to read the room, instead they left a bit confused.

 We stepped closer to one another, reading our weapon, “Nikolai, what are you doing,” he grinned, oh so charmingly, “Making sure my training programs is working, of course!” He exclaimed as we started fencing. I had a hard time getting a hit on him, I tried to argue that he had been doing this since he was a child, probably. Adding to that his great side life as privateer, he must have been in many fights, but then I remember he would mostly fight with pistols.

 When he was about to hit me another time, I used my power to make him feel dizzy. I fell back, avoiding his sword, he only lost a bit of his balance and stood standing right there. “I believe that’s cheating gorgeous,” He whispered, extending his hand to me to help me up. I didn’t take it and stood up on my own, leaning in and gritting through my teeth, “I can’t concentrate when you’re looking at me like that,” His grin only widened at that, “With burning passion and awe? You truly are stunning when you’re fighting, dear,”

 I gave him a deadly glare once again, unable to hide my blush, “Nikolai, no!”

“Nikolai, yes, I believe I won. See you tonight?” He looked around mischievously before placing a delicate kiss on my cheek and slipping away without an ounce of regret in his strut. I stood there in shock until Zeke returned and we resumed our training. No one had seen a thing.

 Later, the return of the Sun Summoner happened. The worry I felt upon being discovered with the prince grew in a different direction. Upon her return, a lot went down, one being the making of Nikolai a King. His father had abdicated, both him and the Queen were to stay away from Ravka. Talks about an alliance between him and Sankta Alina was going around, meaning, a marriage. I ignored it the best I could.

 One time we almost got caught when I was told the King had asked for a meeting with me, I held back a groan at how this lacked discretion. I made my way to the room dedicated for the war meetings with the most important people, and saw Nikolai looking at the map on the table in the middle of the room. He signaled for the person who accompanied me to leave, that this was important and needed all his focus. They nodded and closed the door behind. His diplomatic attitude fell to the ground like a cape being removed off his beautiful person.

 “Your majesty, you’re growing careless,” I was afraid someone was listening on the other side of the door and kept some distance between us, something he did not seem to be in the mood for. Instead, he grabbed both my hands and pulled me deeper into the room, whispering, “I wanted to see you and as your King you cannot refuse me,” He said playfully, “Nikolai, do you not care what people might think of this?” I asked, exhausted.

 “The people think there is something between Zoya and I,” I felt my heart clench, sighing heavily as I rested my chin on his chest, looking at him from a weird angle. “Which… there is not, right?” I felt his arms tighten around my waist, it felt comforting to be in his embrace like this, I felt untouchable. He looked at me with a big smile, “Is my darling jealous?” I rolled my eyes and looked off to the side. “I love you Nikolai, Saints do I love you…” I paused. “But there is talk about getting married to the Sun Summoner, the people need a Queen they can look up to, and I think you should make that alliance…”

 He sighed and played with my hair as he spoke, “I’ll only accept one Queen by my side, I do not wish to marry Alina,”

“What you want is different from what Ravka needs, Nikolai. You and I both know that. We both knew from the moment we started this that, things will change, and I hardly think I would be fit for the throne. A Saint is what the country needs-“ “Funds is what Ravka needs, I am already considered a bastard, I have been called many names at the court but I meet their insults with laughter, I can add fool to the many titles I have been given it means I can marry the one I truly love,”

 I took a deep breath as I cradled his face in my hands, “Funds is what the country will need once we won… But hope is what keeps us alive, is it not? The people need hope right now, hope from a Saint ruling over them, I will stay by your side always, but you need this alliance with the Sun Summoner Nikolai,” We were interrupted by heavy knocks on the door before Zoya came rushing in, a scowl on her face. I had had time to step away from Nikolai and slump quickly on one of the seats to make it look like it was just a conversation.

 His mask came back the moment the door open, we did not talk more about it.

 I later heard he did propose with a big ring to Alina, Zoya informed me. But she had turned him down. I had to tell him to try harder, giving him tips of what I think could make her swoon. But deep down, I felt offended for his sake, why would she refuse him? He was handsome, smart, kind, gentle, funny- I stopped my thoughts for a moment, realizing how much I loved him and how much my heart ached for him. This situation was affecting me more than I thought it would, I knew he did not love her, and I also knew it from the start that it’d come down to that, but it still hurt.

 That same day, in the evening, I left my room late but did not find him following me. There was a pinch in my heart as I climbed up to reach the outside. When I arrived there, I saw Nikolai sitting on the railing with Alina a bit further away from him. My heart shattered but I kept my composure, Alina stepped away from the railing and met my eyes with surprise. I was the first one to speak, “My apologies, your majesty, Sankta Alina, I will leave you be,” with a curtesy I moved to leave but heard Nikolai call my name.

 Turning around, I held his gaze. I clenched my jaw, feeling jealousy build inside me. It was unlike me, but I couldn’t help it. I bowed once more, “Does your majesty require-“ “Gorgeous, I told you to call me Nikolai,” Many thoughts crossed my mind, but mostly, what is he doing? I heard him a lot closer this time, his hand reached for my cheek as he lifted my chin. I uttered his name in a warning tone, barely above a breath. “Oh, don’t worry, he told me about both of you. I wouldn’t have guessed; I mean sure I could see you clearly had a crush on the Too-Clever fox here.”

 “Alina, who wouldn’t? No one can resist my charms, I make women swoon with just a wink,” “And make them leave the moment you open your mouth, a shame you cannot for the life of you shut up Nikolai,” She replied playfully, making him fake gasp.

 I watched the interaction in shock, stepping back from the King, still not sure I could display anything else but curtesy to the King of Ravka and his little Saint. Daring to speak, I looked at the Sun Summoner, “I like listening to him talk, it’s interesting, don’t you think Sankta Alina?” She stared at me, before looking at Nikolai then back at me, “You managed to him blush!” “I do not blush; the air is frisky here. Let’s go back inside,” He ushered us both towards the door, only to have Alina stop us. “I’ll go back inside, but you,” She pointed at me, “Call me Alina, I am no Saint, and you,” she pointed at Nikolai, then at the ring on her finger, “I’ll only keep it until we win, but we are not getting married,” Then she left.

 Nikolai’s hand reached for mine and pulled me to our usual spot, pulling out a blanket and wrapping us in it quickly before talking, “As you can see, it’s unfortunate but the Saint does not wish to marry me, there is nothing I can do to force her,” He said a bit too happily. His hands both held mine, warming them up. The night was warmer the previous one, but it was still too chilly for any of us to stay outside without the proper blankets. “If the court does not call you a fool, I will. You have to be more persuasive with her, I know full well you could persuade a rock to move with just your charms,” I said with a light tone, but I was being serious.

 He brought my hands to his shoulders before helping me sit on his lap, it felt strange to be this close, but I did not say anything. “Would my charms work on you if I asked you to marry me?” I huffed a laugh; He was joking at the worst moments. “Nikolai Lantsov, Major of the Twenty-Second Regiment, Grand Duke of Udova, King of Ravka, the man who proposed to two women in one night. You’re-“ I scoffed, pausing as I rested my forehead against his, a small smile on my lips, “Don’t joke like that, I know if you ask again I’ll say yes, and it’s not… not until we won,”

 “Then how about a promise? I want you, no, need you by my side, I’ll wait until we won,” He paused, smirking. He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and observed a moment, “Since the big ring is in Alina’s possession, no one will notice if…” He dug inside the pocket of his coat and turned my head just slightly; His hand grazed the shell of my ear as he spoke so close to me that I felt his breath hit my skin. “Sturmhond is a very fashionable man, I’m sure you’d like him, very charming too,” I made a confused face, moments after, he let go and gestured for me to touch.

 I felt a metallic thing on the shell of my ear, “Is that an ear cuff?” “Absolutely, I might be very eager to show you off, but I am not an idiot, and if any of us wore a ring, it’d be a bit obvious. Don’t you think?” He did not wait for an answer, “We’ll both know what it means. I will definitely buy you a gorgeous ring once this is over, but let’s settle for this little trinket for now-“ I cut him off by kissing him deeply, earning a surprised sound from him before he returned the kiss.

 I looked at him with a huge grin, he seemed embarrassed but recovered quickly, “I’ll take that as a yes,” “You are very thoughtful, thank you. I like it, I don’t have anything for you, not that you could wear anything without everyone being suspicious.” I chuckled.

“Oh my heart, I have plenty. Know that you are in my thoughts always,” “I think that’s my cue to leave, I have had my quota of…” I gestured at him playfully. The blond man pulled me closer, “Affection? Well, I have not, and as your King, I demand you stay until I am fully satiated.” And I did. We stayed there all night, until we fell asleep. It was good.

 This happiness did not last long. Some way, The Darkling found the Spinning Wheel. Everything went south from there, people dying, running around. I saw the woman who had taught me to control my power, jump into the void, I saw my lover getting snatched from in front of me, his screams reaching my ears. I called out for him but tried to hide my sadness, my heartbreak, behind fear. I failed. I yelled his name in despair, he fell back on the ground but was in searing pain. I approached him but saw his form change, it had taken the shape of something close to a volcra. “Nikolai!” I reached out for him, he stopped midair.

 His hand reached out for mine, for a single moment. I was not paying attention to what The Darkling was saying but was solely focused on the King that had transformed into a demon. I tried to pull him towards me, his claws dug inside my arm, but I didn’t let go. He pulled back, leaving red marks on my arms as I fell to my knees.

 This was what this man left behind, this bastard. The man I believed a mentor. He took everything for himself, he did not care. He claimed it was for the greater good but was a selfish- “Piece of shit!” I continued insulting him, but he only laughed, mocking me, saying I looked a poor little puppy in love.

 Soon enough, he disappeared. I do not know what happened next, I was out of it.

 I was later asked to join the Saint’s team in the search for amplifiers that I believed were legends, myths. Until it was not, I did not talk much during the trip. No matter what happened, I kept my composure. Or did I? I would play with the ear cuff Nikolai offered me, thinking back on our moments together. Zoya would sometimes try to have me talking, we would talk a few until none of us found the strength to keep up this charade. We were both exhausted, unable to fake being anything but terrified, lost, confused.

 During the trip, Alina disappeared and came back out of breath telling us she saw Nikolai, adding he was still himself, she knew. I did not want to believe her. I knew her to be way too optimistic, maybe more realistic, but I did not wish to believe her. I did not wish to have false hopes, believing Nikolai was lost seemed easier than spending my energy on hoping.

 Hope is what keeps us alive, I heard him say in my head. And I knew, Saints did I know that hope kept us alive… And part of me was still hopeful. I would later be glad this part hung on until the end.

 As much as I’d deny it, Alina’s news of having seen Nikolai, even in his demon form, and telling us he was still in there… it kept me going. Even in the hard times, even as we entered the fold, I was still thinking, maybe he’ll come out of the sky, grinning as usual, explaining us how he oh so easily escaped the hands of darkness. How he was back and ready to outwit that geezer of Darkling.

 It was anything but. The attack in the fold went awry at some point, I did not know when, I knew I got shot but kept going by stopping the bleeding. We couldn’t see anything anymore, I had gotten separated from the squad, and was now cornered. I tried to fight off the Volcra the best I could, but there were no inferni around, no Sun Summoner. I was going to die, but hopefully it wouldn’t have been in vain and in the end, Alina will have killed The Darkling.

 Death did not happen. Instead, an ear-piercing screech did. I felt talons grip my shoulders, it hurt but they did not dug fully into my skin, I tried to fight off the Volcra that had grabbed me. Fear coursing through my body, but as I did, I realize it was bringing me closer to the limit of the Fold.

 Then, a blinding light.

 Alina’s power. She was using it, she was helping us, she was winning. Darkness was going away, everything was clearing up, the Volcra- I was now falling. The Volcra that was carrying me had let go, I looked where it would have been standing and saw a blond mop of hair. Nikolai? I thought, before I could see who it was, I hit the ground hard and lost consciousness.

 I mustn’t have passed out long, since when I opened my eyes, the brightness was only dispersing. I stood up quickly, and looked around me, a naked body on the ground next to me. Turning their head, I gasped and tried to get them to wake up, “Nikolai! Nikolai, please wake up, for the love of Saints, wake up!” I took off my kefta and covered him the best I could, repeating his name over and over again. I knew he was still alive, I could feel it, but I was afraid to use my power in this state.

 The adrenaline coursing through my vein would make me fuck up, which I did not want. After a few moments, I heard groans and the man in front of me sat up, I moved the kefta to cover him properly. When I met his gaze, my heart stopped.

 He was exhausted. Covered in bruises, his hair messy, his gaze confused. “You’re back…” I whispered, reaching out for him, he took my hand in his and brought it to his chest, “Did you ever doubt it? I am well-versed in achieving the improbable.” He said with a grin, I stared at him in awe, feeling the tears welling up. I wiped them away before they could even roll down my cheeks, “I’ll admit I did, but I am relieved you’re alive,”

 He brought me in a tight hug, which I broke quickly as I leaned back and quirked a brow, looking at him insistently. He looked down at himself then back at me, “I do hope you are enjoying the view, gorgeous, it’s a sample of what you’ll get once we-“ “Your majesty! Are you alright?”

 And here, our moment got ruined. I stood up and was about to explain hat had happened, when Nikolai spoke, “The Volcra did not seem to enjoy my fashion sense, they ripped it to shreds. You have spare uniforms laying around, yes?” The soldiers nodded and led him to the tents set nearby.

 I waited until everyone left what remained of the Fold. The survivors returned to the camp, we counted our wounded, healers did their work. I saw Alina bring in a wounded man and noticed by the look in her eyes this was the person that mattered to her. She seemed different than before, she also kept her head low, as if she was hiding. So, I did not say anything.

 Nikolai had her brought in, they talked a long while, whilst my wounds were getting tended to.

 Part of me hoped they weren’t arranging a real marriage. I knew it was stupid, but I still thought it could still happen. My daydream was interrupted when the healer went for the gloves around my hands, I stopped him, “No need, there’s nothing-“ “I must check, I’ve taken care of everything but I have to be sure,” I did not want them to see, I tried to snatch my hand away and heard a throat clearing by the entrance.

 “The lady said no, out you go, I would like to have a word with her. No one is allowed, this is important matter,” Just like that, Nikolai had kicked the healer out of his own tent. I told him off, telling him he was making a scene and yet let him hold my hands gently as he looked at me without a word. The prettiest smile adorned his features, even as I berated him. When I was done, he smiled wider, “You are so beautiful when you’re passionately yelling at me,” “Nikolai,”

 “What’s with the gloves, dove?” he asked in all seriousness, his fingers grazing the edge of he long gloves. “I…” “May I?” He asked. I nodded. He pulled them off and saw the dark lines on my left arm, “It’s healed up, there’s just nothing they could do about that. I don’t know… I-“ “How did this happen? Tell me,”

 I paused then pulled him closer, “You did, but it’s alright, I forgive you- It wasn’t done out of malice or anything of that sort, I had tried to keep you closer but the-“ he ran his hands through his hair and apologized. He seemed to be truly regretting it, even though he was probably unaware of his own actions.

 “Nikolai, please, it’s nothing. It’s over,” I grabbed his hand and only now noticed he had the same marks as I did. His hands were covered in black threads almost. He looked at our intertwined hands a moment, “What if it’s not over?” Vulnerability, something the King rarely showed. “Then I’ll be here every step of the way,” He pulled me into a hug and stood there a moment.

 I broke the silence, adding, “It has some charms, don’t you think? It’s almost matching tattoos,” I said jokingly. The blond man laughed wholeheartedly as he leaned back, “I say it’d look even better with,” he grabbed my hand a slid a golden ring on my ring finger, “this, don’t you think it complements it?” I looked at it in bewilderment, gazing up at Nikolai. My hand went to the ear cuff he had offered me, he stopped me, “Keep it, I think Sturmhond would agree it suits you better than him,”

 I laughed. “I suppose we did win… I am still not fit to be Queen, and I am still very set on you being a complete fool for doing this,” I said calmly, but inside my heart was soaring. “It’s a lot of words to say yes, don’t you think?” He said teasingly, his hands cradling my face, “Let me try again,”

 He kissed my lips tenderly, “Will you marry me, gorgeous?”

 I nodded and pecked his lips softly, “Yes, my prince,”

 “I am actually a King now,” “Please Nikolai, just this once, shut up,”

 He leaned in, “Gladly,” and kissed me once more.

[maybedefinitely404]

For You Became My Lighthouse (Part 2)

Genre: hurt/comfort

Pairing: romantic Prinxiety

Content: argument, crying, a decent dose of awkward but it gets resolved!

Word count: 4.1k

Comment: This is the fourth time I’ve tried to post this--- Part 1 HERE!

Roman, is everything alright?

-Logan

Roman ran a hand through his hair at the message, checking the time at the top of the screen. It was late, far too late, so it was safe to assume that Logan had heard about the spat from Virgil. He should have been home by now. It was just… impossible to convince himself to actually leave the rehearsal studio. He had a younger acting class tomorrow and was perfecting his lesson plan- even though he already knew it was perfect, and his director had already approved it. Just, anything to keep him from going home.

He’d been a dick. Such was obvious; from the second his finger had hit send, he regretted approximately everything in his life that had led to this moment. That day had been particularly bad, overrun with rehearsals he was either taking part in or directing, and gearing up for tech week of a large production. Who knew trying to block a scene with a flurry of pre-teens could take so much out of you? Rinse and repeat the cycle with two more classes to teach back to back and an achingly long dance rehearsal, add in a desperate and fruitless search for a replacement lead in his upcoming directorial debut, and you’d have what Roman would categorize as a “shit show of a day”. 

All he wanted to do at the end of it was spend some time with his boyfriend, without having to talk about his day, so he’d suggested the most basic date his fried brain could conjur. Then his work desk was unceremoniously reacquainted with his forehead as he smacked it into the wood, letting out a groan that bordered on a yell. Luckily, minutes ago everyone had abandoned the theatre, and he’d been trusted with the keys to lock up from a stagehand. He just had a couple more things to do, and then he could drive home. 

Getting a reply of denial from Virgil was nothing new. In fact, he’d been warned in the transition from reluctant acquaintanceship to inevitable friendship, that he tended to veto ideas if they were sudden, or too daunting, or if he was just feeling shitty. It was something that Roman never considered a deal breaker, and he’d slowly come to much rather enjoy a night of cuddling and watching television than going out anyways. Call it ‘getting old’, call it ‘Virgil’s homebody ways creeping into his psyche’. So usually, getting his plans rejected was no big deal. 

Except for today, when he was well and past his limit of frustration, and things not going to plan. He’d typed out and sent the snarky reply far before he’d thought it out whatsoever, and ranted out complaints that hadn’t ever crossed his mind before, which he immediately regretted. In a moment of shame so great it caused physical nausea, he tossed his phone into one of his desk drawers and slammed it shut. 

It buzzed once, twice, and then went silent. 

Until, of course, it began to go berserk an indecipherable amount of time later, and Roman couldn’t ignore it. Seeing Logan’s text, along with about a million missed calls from him and Patton, broke the fragile sense of calm he’d tried to achieve while working. 

He didn’t want to go home and face his consequences. Childish, yes. Well deserved, also yes, but he was afraid of Virgil’s inevitable anger. If this led to a breakup, a fight that wasn’t recoverable, he’d never forgive himself. 

And now…

Roman, is everything alright?

-Logan

I can see you’ve read my text message.

-Logan

I’m at work. 

You’re inconceivably moronic. Get home. Now.

-Logan

Roman sighed heavily through his nose, clenching his jaw. He began typing out another snarky response- because apparently he never learned- when another text came through.

Virgil was in significant distress last I spoke to him and he has stopped answering me and Patton. Go. Home.

-Logan

Please. If not for my sake, then for Virgil’s.

-Logan

Fuck.

Roman barely had the sense to lock the doors of the building in his rush, throwing the spare key back in through the mail slot and booking it to his car. He sent some sort of confirmation that he was going and tossed the phone to his back seat. Virgil hated when he used it while driving.

It was only on the drive back, on unusually empty roads, did he realize it was well past nine. He hadn’t even noticed the time passing by.

Most of the lights in the apartment complex were still on when he pulled into the car park, but their window visible on this side showed only darkness. He wasn’t used to entering a dark apartment.

Their flat was silent, the living room only illuminated by the oven clock and the dim city lights from the balcony. He toed off his shoes as silently as he could, wincing when he kicked their shoe rack, and decided he’d risk turning on the light. When he finally found the switch and flicked it on, he couldn’t help his gasp. 

The room had once been a pristine display, he could tell. A white table cloth adorned their usually bare dining room table and a half burned candle stood as its centrepiece. He approached it in a daze, cautiously resting a hand on the plate of ravioli nearest to him. Cold. Long cold; the pasta was starting to get crusty. 

He picked up the two plates, intent on throwing out the food. It definitely wasn’t safe to eat anymore, and he didn’t feel like warding off an attack of ants in the morning. One of the towels hanging off the oven handle was drenched in what looked like marinara sauce, and it looked like there was some more spilled in the crack between the stove and the counter. That would be fun to clean. 

Both hands full, he opened the cupboard containing the garbage bin with a socked foot, and promptly froze. 

Part of him cringed at the clang the dropped plates made on the counter, but the louder part of him was just repeating a mantra of ‘holy shit, holy shit, holy shit’ and it was considerably out-screaming the other. Hands now shaking, Roman picked up the small box from the sink edge, ignoring the dried, crunchy texture of more tomato sauce on the outside, and opened it. 

It took every ounce of strength for Roman not to collapse to his knees, guilt instantly crushing the air from his lungs, a thousand times heavier than it had been before. An elaborate dinner, a ring… there had been a plan. That’s why Virgil had rejected his offer to go out. 

And he’d been such a dick to him. 

Speaking of which, where was he?

Roman closed the box and set it back where it had been. Their bedroom door was slightly ajar, and the most obvious place Virgil would be, so he padded over and creaked it open just a bit more. The light from the hallway cast a beam onto the bed, illuminating first a mess of hastily thrown clothes; his button up shirt he only used for fancy occasions on top of the pile. 

Virgil’s huddled form was easy to make out, curled away from the door, his only movement being the steady rise and fall of the blanket as he breathed. Figaro lifted his head from where he was settled in the crook of Virgil’s knees and gave Roman an indifferent mrow. 

He couldn’t get into bed with him. There was no scenario where that was the right move. It wasn’t the right time to talk about what had happened, not so late and when they were both riding high on emotions and tiredness, so accidentally waking Virgil was not the way to go. And even if he was sneaky enough to not wake him… a part of him just felt it was wrong. Not when he didn’t know Virgil’s stance on him at the moment.

Or his stance on the relationship.

Well, couch it was. He acknowledged the crumpled weighted blanket and sound blocking headphones- clear aftermath of a bad panic attack- with a quiet curse. Somehow that pit in his stomach got even bigger, making him nauseous as his shame took a physical form. 

He could only pray that they would come back from this. 

Roman’s sleep was fitful, to say the least. At best, he drifted into a state of half-consciousness, where his thoughts could be somewhat quieted down, but the discomfort of the couch and the heavy weight in his heart were still palpable. Inevitably, one of their neighbors would make a noise or the building would make a settling creak or a distant dog would bark, and the state would be broken, leaving Roman wide awake and wracked with guilt once more. He’d never noticed how loud the world was until he wanted nothing more than for the noise to stop. 

The sun was just peaking into the window when their bedroom door widened and Roman flew up, using the back of the couch to steady his sudden sitting position. When their eyes met from across the room, Virgil in his pajamas and face hidden in shadow, a tenseness settled over the room that neither had experienced in their relationship thus far. Virgil froze in the doorway, wavering slightly. It didn’t appear he wanted to be the one to break the silence. 

Roman stood slowly, as though not to spook him.

“Hi.”

“Hey,” Virgil whispered with a sniff, and even in that one word Roman could hear the scratchiness of his voice. “I just...uhm,” He cleared his throat, “I just wanted to get some water. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“I was already awake. No… no worries.” 

Virgil looked down to his feet. “When did you come back?”

“I think just before ten.”

“‘Kay.”

For an all too long moment, both of them seemed to find interest in every part of the room that wasn’t the other’s eyes. It wasn’t until Roman looked towards the kitchen in his awkwardness did he process what Virgil had come out for. 

“I’ll, um…” He pointed weakly to the kitchen and finally convinced his feet to move, filling up a glass from the sink while making a conscious effort to not look at the dishes or wasted food from the evening before. Unfortunately, he couldn’t stop the way his gaze drifted towards the box sitting next to the tap, and judging by Virgil’s sharp inhale, the look hadn’t been subtle. 

He took the glass back to the other, watching him take it with an uncomfortable, “Thanks.”

Virgil downed the glass in one go, his shaking hands almost causing him to spill. He barely had time to take a breath before Roman had zipped the empty glass back onto the counter.

“Do you want more?” He asked, already refilling the glass.

“No, I’m… it’s okay.” 

Roman placed the full glass on the counter quietly and the two were swallowed by heavy silence once again. The clock ticked impossibly loud as they stood, fidgeting, wanting this moment to be over but not wanting to be the one to start it. 

Virgil took a shuddering breath and wrung his hands together.

Roman stared resolutely at a single water drop making its way down the glass.

This was his fault. He’d started it. It seemed only right that he break the tension that almost suffocated him, so even as his mind screamed for him to shut up and every muscle in his body turned to liquid, he opened his mouth to speak.

“Virgil, I-”

“I’m sorry.”

That effectively stopped Roman in his tracks. All night, he’d crafted a collection of apologies, from eloquent monologues to stumbling pleas for forgiveness, but in not one of his countless scenarios had Virgil apologized. 

“I know… I know I can be a lot to handle, I know, I swear. And I was more outgoing when we first met, because I thought I had something to prove and it always exhausted me and I hated it but then we became… I don’t know, official? And closer and… and more comfortable and I didn’t think I had to do that anymore, I didn’t have to keep pushing myself so far!”

“V, stop-”

“The panic attacks and the anxiety and all that shit are a lot for other people and I know that but I didn’t know it was too much for you, I didn’t know you were tired of that and I can be better, I swear, I swear I can go back to how I was in the beginning, just please don’t leave.”

Virgil let out a choked sob and Roman couldn’t stop himself from rushing forward, intent on holding his stupid, stupid boyfriend until he realized this was in no way his fault, only for Virgil to back up before he could do so.

“I’m- I’m not trying to guilt you, I’m sorry, I just, I love you, and I can be better, I can, just give me a chance, please-”

“Virgil, baby, come here.”

This time when he reached forward, Virgil allowed himself to be pulled into his boyfriend’s chest, basically collapsing against him as soon as Roman’s arms tightened around him. The dam broke moments later and Virgil finally let go of his own hands to grab the back of Roman’s shirt with a sense of urgency.

“Please don’t leave, I’m so sorry,” he begged raspily into Roman’s shoulder.

“I’m not going anywhere. I promise.” 

Roman hung onto him almost as tightly in return, rocking them back and forth, finally allowing himself to cry. He shoved his face into Virgil’s hair, peppering small kisses and apologies to the crown of his head in between sobs. 

Virgil whined when Roman finally pulled away, but he didn’t go far, cradling his boyfriend’s face in his hands and wiping his tacky cheeks with his thumbs.

“Virgil, I cannot apologize enough for yesterday.”

“What are-” he hiccuped, “What are you talking about? It was my fault.”

“No, no, no no no no no,” Roman whispered, fighting that damn lump in his throat once more. “I had a spectacularly shitty day, and I took it out on you. I was leagues out of line. It wasn’t fair to you and I’m so, so unbelievably sorry.” 

As if the strings were cut on a marionette, all the tenseness dissolved from Virgil’s shoulders and he slumped forward, bumping his head weakly into Roman’s chest. “Can we sit down?”

“Yeah, of course.” Roman clumsily led him to the couch and sat on the adjacent cushion, assuming that if Virgil wanted to talk, he’d want his own space. His assumption was incorrect, however, judging by how Virgil crossed the space almost instantly and buried himself in Roman’s side like a koala. He shifted them both until he was laying on his back, Virgil splayed across him .

“I thought you’d be more upset with me,” He muttered, freeing his hand to run it through Virgil’s hair. His fingers raked through his own tears trapped in the locks and he grimaced.

“I don’t know what I’m feeling right now,” responded Virgil, accompanied by a shuddering breath, “I just need to know that you’re really here. And I need you.”

They were quiet for a moment, watching the sun begin to peek through their window, until Virgil spoke again sardonically.

“If this is a dream, I’m gonna be so pissed.”

Roman snorted despite himself and felt Virgil’s responding half-laugh from where he was tucked against him.  

“I agree. I thought I’d fucked up for good this time.”

A disgruntled meow made Roman crane his neck over the couch, watching Figaro stretch languidly in their bedroom doorway. The cat sidled over to his food bowl and sat pointedly next to it. Feed me. 

“Later, Figaro,” Roman groaned, all too comfortable with Virgil as his blanket. A small part of him was worried that if he moved them at all, the spell would be broken, and they’d lose whatever peace they’d settled into. 

Well, that wouldn’t do at all, not by Figaro’s standards. The cat gave an upset mewl and trotted over to the couch, leaping up with grace and batting Virgil’s legs. It was that pettish action that made Roman realize that Virgil had turned stone still on his lap. Figaro changed his approach to headbutting at his arm in a clear attempt to get pets, but Virgil’s hand stayed still by their sides. 

“What’s going through your head?” Roman murmured. 

“That stuff you said, about me… not contributing to the relationship…” Virgil croaked, and Roman stilled,  “What can I do to-… to fix that? Because I wanna fix it.”

“Baby, no,” Roman whispered, that shame-nausea returning, “I-” He groaned, dropping his head onto the arm of the couch behind him, “I was being an asshole. I didn’t mean that.”

Virgil didn’t budge, still deliberately ignoring Figaro’s futile begging for attention. “Then where did it come from?”

He took a breath deep enough that Virgil rose and fell with his chest, and Roman was struck with the profound urge to pull him closer and never let him go. But that would likely make him feel trapped, and that wasn’t productive. “You remember when I dragged you to that improv show my students put on last year?”

“You introduced me as your boyfriend and we found out the class had placed bets on whether you were gay or not. I don’t know how it wasn’t obvious.”

Roman gasped in mock offense. “Maybe they just were trying not to stereotype!”

“Your phone case is a rainbow-”

“Anyways!” He interrupted, resuming his gentle threading through Virgil’s hair, who snorted but otherwise gave in to the affection. “Remember what happened after?”

“Mmhm.”

It had been a fantastic show, and Roman had been exceedingly proud of his little students, especially since it was his first time ever teaching a class. After the night, when the betting chaos had settled and everyone quickly adopted Virgil as theirs now, they’d pleaded to play a few more improv games before the theatre closed. Seeing as it was their last class, hence the performance in the first place, Roman had acquiesced. But neither of the men had expected for the gang of pre-teens to latch onto Virgil and beg him to play too, despite him having zero theatre experience. 

“Remember what they said?”

“They tried to pack all your lectures into five minutes of information.”

“I don’t lecture, I dazzle.” 

“They thought you were straight.” 

“Only some, and that’s not the point!”

Virgil finally lifted his head, pulling his hands up so he could lay his chin on top of them. He smiled weakly. “Then what is the point?”

“The most important rule of improv is to keep the scene going. No matter what nonsense you have to pull out, just never leave a scene flat.”

There was a quiet moment while the other processed that before, once again, that layer of hurt reappeared on his face. He pushed himself off Roman’s chest in preparation to get up. “So… you’re saying you saw that argument as another scene you had to keep up.”

“No, shit, that came out wrong,” Roman insisted, and Virgil paused suspiciously, “I’m saying, that in a moment of panic, I fell back on bullshitting my way through it! That’s literally what I do for a living!” 

The distrust gave way to resignment and Virgil chewed on his cheek, turning his attention to the window. He sat all the way up on Roman’s legs, leaning back on his shins. “How do I know you’re not bullshitting me right now?” He said. 

“Because,” Roman followed him up, careful not to move his legs and dislodge his boyfriend, “You know I like when the bed is made, and even though you hate making it, you always do when I’m out of the house before you.”

Virgil looked down at his thumb.

“Because you let me choose the music in the car.”

“... you don’t like loud music,” He muttered, picking at the skin around his cuticle.

“You adjust your work schedule to come to every single one of my shows.”

He shrugged. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Yeah, but you hate working mornings. You let me rant about all my theatre stuff, even if you don’t get any of it.”

“I’m learning.” A faint smile was breaking through.

“You tell me when there’s spinach in my teeth, or my hair is messy, or if I’m acting like an asshole.”

“Well, that’s easy enough.”

Roman reciprocated the smile at that, taking Virgil’s hands in his own to stop the attack at his nail. “I’ve been watching you better yourself for years, even if it’s been really, really hard.”

“What does that have to do with us?” Virgil asked with a small blush, switching his fidgeting tactic to fiddling with Roman’s fingers. 

“Every time you do something that betters yourself, you help us, Virgil.” He leaned forward slowly, giving Virgil the time to move away if he wanted to, and rested their foreheads together. “Yesterday, I fucked up. Badly. You said you were anxious and I still acted like a dick. I kinda thought you’d hate me.”

“I could never hate you,” Virgil whispered, seemingly before he had a chance to process it, because his blush multiplied tenfold. Roman grinned. 

“Aw, is someone feeling sappy?”

“Shut up, jackass,” He retorted, bonking their heads together ever so gently. 

“I’m so sorry, Virgil,” Roman said after their giggles and blushes had faded, “It won’t happen again, I swear.” 

In lieu of answering, Virgil closed the already scant distance between their lips, and despite Roman using all of his self control to not sigh into it, he found himself doing so anyways. All the tension bled out of his shoulders at once as Virgil pulled away, pressing one more peck to the tip of his nose, and then leaning back with a small smile. 

“So… that means we’re good?”

“We’re good.”

“Thank god,” Roman groaned, flopping back and dropping his arm over his eyes dramatically. He heard Virgil’s quiet snicker before he resumed his job as a blanket. Except this time, instead of nuzzling his head into Roman’s neck, he could feel the distinct edge of a chin digging into his sternum.

The hand lifted from his eyes to see Virgil staring at him, that goofy little smirk on his face. 

“What?”

“I love you, idiot.”

Well, now they were wearing matching goofy little smirks. 

“I love you too.” 

That seemed to satiate him, because he gave a little nod and laid his head more comfortably on the other’s chest. He could have left the conversation there, content to just let them lay there in peace until the world fell away- or Figaro grew more insistent on being fed- but Roman just couldn’t banish the one persistent thought in the back of his mind. 

“Were you actually going to propose?” He blurted.

Virgil tensed for a moment, and then gave a resigned sigh. “...Yeah.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Well,” Roman furrowed his eyebrows, desperately hoping he sounded casual, though his heart was pounding far too loudly to not be heard, “I would have said yes. If you did.”

“Oh?” Virgil lifted his head. “You’re blushing, Princey.” He could hear the smug grin.

“Nooo…” Roman whined. His arm draped once more over his eyes in a weak attempt to hide the redness, but he drew it away only moments later when Virgil didn’t retort. 

The man was staring at him with an odd mix of disappointment and amusement, huffing out a breath as he watched Roman’s eyes.

“This wasn’t how I was planning to propose,” He sighed, “It was supposed to be all perfect, and romantic, and stuff. And the surprise is ruined now.”

“I’m sorry,” whispered Roman, continuing before Virgil could cut him off, “If it’s any consolation, I think a proposal in our pajamas, on the couch, would be very us.”

“You’re not in pajamas.”

“I slept in these clothes, they count as pajamas.”

Virgil snickered. Roman counted five breaths as the other’s face melted from a smile to anxiously knit brows, worrying his lip between his teeth as he looked down at him. It took another three for him to speak.

 “So…uh... will you…?”

Roman’s face split into a grin, “Yes, Virgil. Obviously.” 

Virgil’s expression morphed to match his and he swooped down to kiss him again, though they barely could with how much they were smiling. They both devolved into giggles, happy to just stay wrapped in each other’s arms, until Virgil broke away with a gasp.

“Let me grab the ring!”

“Ring can wait,” Roman argued, tightening his grip around his waist to keep him in place, “I want cuddles.”

And so they did.

Taglist:

@max-is-tired

@private-snippers

@joylessnightsky

@marshymoop

@larkiaquail

@noemiescuriosity

@mycatshuman

@cirishere

@vpow

@ray-does-stuff

@sirprplsnail

[elliesguitarstrings]

Silence (Part 1/Prologue)

Peter Parker x stark!reader

Summary: You and Peter have been best friends ever since he stepped foot into the avengers compound. After a year of being friends you realize you’ve developed a crush on him, but he doesn’t feel the same way... at least, you don’t think he does.

A/N: This is my first ever post so idk how many people will see it but if you do feel free to send in any requests for Tom Holland or any of his characters and tell me if you like this story - part 2 coming soon!

Warnings: language, awkwardness, a little bit of fluff

italics mean flashbacks

~~~~~~~~

Today was a special day. Well, to you that is. To everyone else, it was just a normal Saturday. But to you, and hopefully to Peter too, it was special.

Today marks one year of you and Peter first meeting. One year since he walked through the glass elevator doors of the Avengers Compound. One year since you met your best friend. You remember it like it was yesterday.

Waking you up from a deep sleep, you hear a loud knock on your door, one you recognized only to be your dad’s.

He opens the door and peeks his head in.

“Hey, get up and come into the living room. There’s someone I want you to meet.”

Barely awake, you respond, “No, let me sleep. It’s too early for this shit.”

“Watch your language young lady! Now get your ass out of bed and be out in ten minutes.”

He walks away, not even bothering to close the door.

You groan into your pillow and proceed to throw it across the room as you reluctantly get out of bed.

Lately you’ve been fed up with everyone in the compound, and you’re taking out all your anger on them. But what else are you supposed to do? Everyone treats you like a kid, but they still expect you to act like an adult. They don’t let you go on missions, but they still make you train. They don’t let you go to actual school, but they make you study twice as hard. Everyone is just so hard on you, especially your dad, and you’re fucking done with it.

You walk into the bathroom and pull your hair up into a quick ponytail, not bothering to brush your mess of hair. Hastily, you brush your teeth and splash some water on your face in an attempt to make yourself look somewhat alive, but the dark circles are still extremely noticeable. You walk back into your bedroom and think about changing out of your hoodie and shorts, but you decide against it. You look halfway decent, and whoever it is that your dad wants you to meet certainly can’t be so important that you have to change into something nice.

After a quick look in the mirror, you slowly make your way into the living room, dreading the coming interaction with another one of your dad’s boring co-workers.

However, when you look up and see a teenage boy sitting next to your dad on the sofa, your mood changes.

Your dad stands up and turns to you, gesturing at the boy.

“Y/N, this is Peter Parker, Spiderman, whatever you want to call him. He’s the newest addition to the team, and he’s moving into the compound in a few days. He’s the same age as you, so I thought you should show him around. So be nice.”

Peter blushes and smiles, giving you a small wave.

Suddenly you regret not changing.

He’s cute. So fucking cute. He has fluffy brown hair, brown puppy dog eyes, the cutest smile, and he’s your age. Your age. Everything about him is perfect.

Realizing that you have been staring for probably a little to long, you speak up.

“Um, hi Peter, I’m Y/N. Uh, it’s- it’s nice to have you here. Sorry I look like shit.”

“Oh, um, thanks.” Peter responds, just as awkwardly as you.

“You don’t look like shit by the way,” he adds, “you look pretty.”

You smile, about to say thank you when your dad interrupts.

“Well, that was really fucking awkward, but I think you two are going to get along just fine. I’ll leave you two lovebirds to it then, see ya around.”

He winks at you as he leaves to go to his lab, and you roll your eyes in return, mentally hitting yourself at how embarrassing this whole interaction has been so far.

You turn to Peter, “So, uh, why don’t I show you around and you can meet everyone.”

“Sounds good to me!” he smiles.

You start in the kitchen and show him around the compound: the movie room, the game room, the pool, the sun room, the training room, the labs, and the bedrooms, introducing him to all of the Avengers along the way. Finally, you stop at the largest spare bedroom, which happens to be right across from yours.

“This is probably gonna be your room. No one really uses it right now but since it’s the biggest one I thought you might want it.”

“Oh, um, thanks, but even the smallest room here is like ten times bigger than my room, so I’d be happy with anything. But since it’s across from you, I’ll take it.”

You blush, not sure if he’s flirting with you or just trying to be nice. Either way, it’s not helping your already developing crush on him.

“So, um, that’s the tour I guess. What do you want to do now?” you ask, hoping he doesn’t want to leave so you can spend more time with him.

“Well Happy isn’t taking me back home until three, so we still have a few hours to do whatever. It doesn’t matter to me.”

“Do you just want to hang out in my room? Maybe watch a movie?”

“Sure! Sounds great!”

The two of you walk across the hall to your room and you open the door, regretting again your poor choice to not clean up this morning. Your bed was a mess, your clothes were strewn everywhere, and your desk was piled high with papers and books.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, my room is such a mess.” you exclaim, rushing to push your clothes in the corner and hastily pull your covers up in a sad attempt to make the bed.

Peter smiles and laughs, “Don’t worry, if you think this is messy, you should see my room. This is nothing.”

You laugh as well, sitting down on your bed and grabbing the TV remote. You pat your bed, motioning for Peter to sit down next to you.

“Y- you want me to sit next to you? Like on your bed?” he asks, clearly shocked.

“Oh, um, yeah. But only if you want. You can sit on the beanbag chair over there instead, I guess. I just thought the bed would be more comfortable. And you would be able to see the TV better.”

“Oh, um, ok. That’s fine.”

He makes his way over to your bed and sits next to you, and you silently turn on the TV, starting to overthink everything.

There was a boy. On. Your. Bed. You weren’t doing anything, but still. You suddenly realized how little interaction you’ve had with people your age. Even girls. You didn’t go to school, so you only hung out with the Avengers. The closest person to your age was Wanda, and even she was a lot older than you.

‘Am I being too forward?’ you started to think to yourself. ‘Should I have not asked him to sit on my bed? What is he thinking right now? Oh my god, this is so bad. He probably thinks I’m so weird. He probably hates me. Fuck.’

When you see him looking in your direction, you decide to stuff the thoughts in the back of your head and try to act as normal as possible.

“So, what should we watch?” you ask.

“Um, do you, uh... do you like Star Wars?”

“Are you kidding me? I LOVE Star Wars!” you exclaim, the tension and awkwardness easing slightly.

“Really? My favorite is A New Hope.”

“No shit! Mine too!”

“Then A New Hope it is I guess!”

You turn on the movie, smiling, and you notice that he scoots a little closer to you, seemingly more comfortable.

A few minutes into the movie, Peter breaks the silence between you two and asks, “So what’s it like living with the Avengers?”

“Oh,” you look away from the TV, “it’s cool I guess. But after a while it’s gotten pretty boring. And really frustrating.”

“Frustrating? Why?”

“It’s just, well, they treat me like a kid all the time. And before you say it, yes, I know I am a kid, but it’s still annoying. There’s no one here even close to my age, I mean fuck, Thor’s like 1500 years old. And none of them know how to talk to me. They act like I’m a toddler even though I’m literally sixteen and they never let me go on missions with them, because they don’t think I’m ready even though I’ve been training since I was like ten – “

You cut yourself off, realizing you’ve been ranting for probably a little too long.

“Sorry about that,” you mumble. “It’s just that I haven’t really had anyone to talk to about this.”

“No! Don’t be sorry. That fucking sucks. Not gonna lie, you’re kinda making me regret moving here if that’s how everyone’s gonna treat me,” he laughs.

“They’re not gonna treat you like that.”

“Why wouldn’t they? I’m the same age as you.”

“Because. You’re a fucking superhero. They don’t give a fuck about your age if you can climb walls and shoot spider webs out of your hands.”

“Well, even if they don’t treat me like a kid then I’ll still back you up.”

He puts a hand on your shoulder and smiles. You blush and smile back.

“Thanks”

“Of course.”

He scoots even closer to you so that your shoulders are barely touching. If this had happened five minutes earlier, you would be freaking out. But now, something is different. You aren’t sure what, but you suddenly feel more calm and comfortable with him around.

You finish the rest of the movie in silence, and you realize you let your head fall onto his shoulder. You were scared he would push your head away, but he didn’t care.

“You awake?” he asks.

“Oh, yeah, sorry. I just didn’t get much sleep last night and my dad woke me up early, well, to meet you.”

He smiles down at you, and suddenly your dad bursts through the door. You scramble to sit up, lifting your head off Peter’s shoulder.

“Hey kid, Happy’s here to – oh?” He stares at the two of you sitting next to each other in your bed, both blushing. “Jesus, you’ve only just met and you already slept together? At least tell me you used protection.”

“DAD, OH MY GOD, NO!” you exclaim, blushing even harder now.

“Mr. Stark, I promise. We- we were just watching a movie. Nothing happened!” Peter assures him.

“Sure, sure,” your dad winks at the two of you.

“Dad, seriously. Nothing happened!” you groan in frustration.

“Whatever. Anyways, Happy’s here to take you back to Queens Pete. Be down in five.” He leaves the room.

“God, that was fucking embarrassing,” Peter laughs getting up from the bed.

“That’s my dad for you.”

You both walk to the door, and before you leave the room, you give him a small hug.

“I’m glad you’re moving in, Peter.”

“Me too,” he smiles, “Friends?”

“Definitely.”

You smile thinking back on the memory. After that day, you and Peter have spent almost every hour of every day together. You’re rarely ever apart, even at night. You sleep with him in his bed, and he sleeps with you in yours. The rest of the team bugs the two of you to get together, but you both agree that you are just friends.  Best friends cuddle with each other and kiss each other’s foreheads and play with each other’s hair, right?

[reawritesthings]

Ratatouille | JJ Maybank

(GIF is made by me. Credit if used)

Summary: JJ Maybank is a clever little rat. Always stealing and never getting caught. Until, he finds himself in the presence of your own home and you finally catch him.

Note: It’s been a hot minute since I’ve released something so it might be a little iffy but, i really hope you enjoy it + feedback is appreciated

"Have you heard about the little rat who keeps stealing our food? Just the other day, my finest roast chicken was taken. I bet it's those dirty Pogues." Mrs Andrew's who resident three doors down complained to a few other figures, who slyly had there eye on your mother's newest trinket.

"You should take it as a compliment, Mrs Andrew's. It means your cooking is divine." You endeavour into her daily rant hoping she could see this in a different light.

Mrs Andrew vexed at your attempt to see the light in this particular theft, " That piece of chicken costs me 30 dollars. I don't pay for my food to be taken, young lady."

You threw your head back, squaring your shoulders with charismatic movement whilst hearing Mrs Andrew's bicker about a false accusation that you might be seeing a Pogue. As the daily neighbour meeting elongated into hours of constantly whining, you decided to seek refuge into a certain Cameron.

You constrain your body to accompany Rafe, your trusted advisor and best alcohol dealer. "Rafe. I need alcohol, pronto."

Rafe disapproved your request, seeing you suffer was a blessing and a curse to his sicken mind, "Mrs Andrew's giving you a hard time?" You nodded, freely motioning your head to rest into his chest.

"She's claiming I'm sleeping with a Pogue because I defended the 'rat' that steals her god damn chicken." Even the mention on the claim provoked you making you feel slightly uncomfortable that you had that potential to sleep with a Pogue.

"Don't you fancy the Maybank kid?" Rafe's eyebrow furrowed knowing too much about your personal life.

"I don't fancy him. I just see him delivering my groceries." Rafe prompted attacked your false claim by falling your emotions further.

"So staring at him for three minutes straight and, finding it hard to say 'thank you' really gives the ' I don't fancy him' vibe."

You awarded Rafe with the finger, gravitating away from his presence before you do something you'll regret.

    ✿✿✿✿

"JJ, A chicken? Really?" Kiara was slightly miffed by the actions that her best friend accomplishes the night before.  JJ rose from his worn-out deck chair that somehow stayed afloat giving the circumstances of the holes present.

"What are you on about, Kie?"

Kiara watched JJ fumble his way towards her, his walk was mistaken for zigzags which only met she had to handle a drunk JJ. "You stole Mrs Andrew's chicken and many more things."

JJ remotely failed to make a face to the name, shrugging his shoulder he twirled away from Kiara, "Mrs Andrew shouldn't be so worked up about a fucking chicken. If I did take the chicken, shouldn't she take it as a compliment?"

"You didn't have to steal it, JJ. You could have just asked me and I would have gotten you groceries." Kiara abbreviated JJ's response, hoping the statement she announced stayed in JJ's mind the next time he decides to steal.

Stealing for JJ was like breathing. He didn't need to, of course - but,  he needed to survive. It was like a curse his father placed when he turned to alcohol for pleasure. His friend tried to make him stop, but he couldn't break the curse. He always saw stealing as the only sensible way to survive in the Cut. In this Pogue life, you worked two jobs and were lucky enough to earn a tip. JJ wasn't going to rely on just an hourly income for himself and his drunken father, he needs cash, immediately.

It started with small items, food to help him function for the day. But, as he successful outsmarted Heyward, he thought bigger and placed his icky nose on the other side of the island known as 'Figure 8.' Figure 8 was JJ's dream, a dream that one day he would go full Kook and have a golden statue of himself.

"Noted." JJ bluntly responded but Kie wasn't remotely sure if JJ even took anything she told into account.

JJ watched the sea, lost in the rhythmic percussion of the harsh waves crashing onto the sand. His eyes watched the sunset, spreading into its last ounce of orange rays before twilight awakes. His lips bear the semblance of a smile, just enough to show that he knew what house he wanted to enter, whatever the consequences he was adamant to have another decent meal. JJ landed in Figure 8, a town he knew well from his kleptomaniac days. Since he got the heads up that Mrs Andrews was on the hunt, he vowed to take the beachfront.

His stomach commences into a harsh growl, the pain was noticeable and so was a house. It was three downs up from Mrs Andrews, a typical white framed fence with artificial flowers and wide backyard. JJ's wandering eye teleported him towards the gate, a gate he began to familiarise when his hand touched the newly painted wood.

"Mrs Y/L/N House..." JJ whispered to himself. When JJ's movement came towards the garden he noticed the door left ajar, a scent rushed out of the house and suffocated JJ's nostrils making his belly flip with joy. He knew he couldn't get into trouble due to the door being already open which was odd for Figure 8. JJ approached the door and scanned the ghost-like kitchen to see if anyone was awake.

No one was seen.

JJ pushed the door and it swung open with ease, a blast of air-conditioned of a cold streamed past him, with light jazz escaping through the night. He tiptoed inside, squinting his eyes shut as he didn't want to draw attention to himself. He shamelessly headed from the double magnetized fridge covered with pictures of you and magnets from different states.

"Why do Kook's have beautiful children?" JJ murmured, haltingly placing his hand over the handle letting the momentum of the fridge open revealing a whole stack of food.

"Tempting. What do you fancy tonight, JJ?" He asked himself, fiddling around with the products making sure everything was neatly stacked the way he found it. JJ took out a plate of half-eaten cheesecake, along with a bottle of coke with some fruit on the side.

"I found dessert, but I need dinner. C'mon pretty girl, what did mama make ya?" JJ eyes darted around the island, checking if there were pots present or even a plate visible to him.

"Bingo." JJ teethed with joy as he noticed a pan neatly resting on the stove. "Come to JJ."

As JJ swayed his arching body towards the stove, he smelt the rich scent evaporate around him causing him to gag a little, "This has to do..."

JJ tasted the dish, it looked like someone effortlessly threw random vegetables onto the pan and called it a day. "This is fucking disgusting."

"Tell me about it." You chuckled, repelling the smell of your mother's failed attempt of Ratatouille, and amazed that a boy with the same age demolished the meal in three gulps. "Of all things you could eat, you choose that?"

JJ froze insight, ceiling his eyes shut with a combination of a curse word leaving his lips, "Please don't call the cops."

"I wasn't planning too, Maybank." He was stunned by your response and the mention of his surname.

"How do you know me?" JJ dumbly interrogated the girl, trying to form a vision but the darkness around them forbade him.

You chuckled, as JJ tried to figure out a time where he would have met you."You deliver my groceries every Sunday. You are friends with Pope Heyward, I usually give him a can of beer whenever he is alone."

"Beer girl? No fucking way."

You bowed letting out a quiet laugh. "I'm guessing you are the person who stole Mrs Andrew chicken? and, If you really are that hungry I can make you mac n cheese?"

JJ hurled when the name entered the room, "The ungrateful bitch. She should be glad I stole her chicken. She's hella of a good cook, better than your ma's."

"Anything is better than my mother's cooking. I sometimes ride down to the Wreck for a decent meal. Mr Cerrera's food is the best." You praised the Cerrera's talent whilst you attempted to make Mac n Cheese for the hungry boy.

JJ sent a smirk to his fond smile, "I'm best friends with their daughter. Even though, I'm not their cup of tea... I still get scraps that ungrateful Touron's don't finish."

You envied the Pogue life, even more now as JJ began to blabber on about his adventures of surfing during the hurricane's, going to Mrs Crain's and Rixon's Cove. You liked being a Kook, you had everything you wanted and more but, something was missing. You had friends, Rafe mainly when he wasn't trying to get into your pants and his sister, Sarah but, It wasn't nearly as great as JJ's friends.

"You okay there?" JJ snapped your train of thoughts, placing his hand over yours.

You gave JJ a cramped smile as he took charge of stirring, "Yeah. I was daydreaming."

JJ didn't say a word, knowing it wasn't just a daydream thought. "Cute. How about you come and hang out with us? As for us, I mean the Pogues? But, If you want to hang out just us two..." You cut JJ with a light kiss to his cheek causing a heat of pink to arouse him.

"Taking that as a yes."

You laughed, scooting him away from the stove. "You are my guest. Sit down and I'll give you your food."

JJ did as he was told, hearing your bossy attitude take charge aroused him. "Yes, chef."

You delivered JJ his meal, watching him devour as if it was his last. The small moans escaping from his lips gave you confidence that you weren't a bad cook. "JJ, slow down. It's not going to run away."

"I think you have scored the best cook of Mac n Cheese. I'm definitely coming here, again."

You were meaning to question the boy on how he cleverly entered your house, "How did you even get inside? The alarm was on."

"Simple. the back door was open slightly. Someone must of-" JJ stopped when a gasp escaped your lips.

"Fuck. I forgot to close it." JJ chuckled at the clumsiness of your mind. He managed to figure you out in 10 minutes, which he didn't mind doing.

"It's okay. Maybe you forgot for a reason?" JJ tried to flirt his way into the situation, but you were more infuriated with yourself.

"You saying we were destined to meet, Maybank? I thought a Pogue and Kook don't get along or date." You translated the rules of the two tribes made by Rafe and, JJ.

"Fuck the rules. I tend to break them." JJ shrugged looking around as he proved his point.

"I see. Well, my mother is making spaghetti bolognese tomorrow? I'll leave you a plate outside." You winked, gathering his empty plate.

"And if it all fails, I'll treat you to a nice dinner at the Wreck. My treat..." JJ rambled not wanting to leave your house but, he knew he had too.

"You mean, free food at the Wreck?"

JJ pouted at the response. He was hoping for a simple nod.

"It's a date, Maybank."

masterlist | taglist

[yandere-daydreams]

What about for bnha (any character) a darling that's actually happy to be getting this overwhelming affection and 'protection' like their touchstarved or something?

I decided to go with Bakugo for this if only because he’s the only one I can think of that wouldn’t take full advantage of a willing Darling. It’s nice to give him something to work with every once in a while, too, when I’m not seeing how often I can get away with making him cry.

Title: Protector.

TW: Unhealthy Relationships, Stockholm Syndrome, and Implied Kidnapping. 

~

You’d never been much of a provider.

It was a preference, more than anything else. It wasn’t that you were inactive or unmotivated, you just liked to be… stable, for lack of a better term. Stability came with routine, with predictability, even if Katsuki didn’t seem like the type to shower you in either. There were too many factors, in a normal lifestyle. You couldn’t control how much rent would go up or how nice the people you spoke to would be, nor were you eager to try and do so on your own. You’d never had that kind of drive. Not like Katsuki did.

You weren’t made to survive on your own.

Your boyfriend was just the one to make that fact clear.

He was so much bigger than you. Usually, it was the cute, domestic height difference the media had fawned over back when you were still a new, shocking celebrity couple, but you could never seem to forget that you were the lesser half of a whole when he insisted on being this… close. It wasn’t really his fault. His eyes were still closed, a thin sheet draped lazily somewhere below his waist, but his body seemed to eclipse your own, an arm snaking around your midriff and keeping you pinned against his form as easily as a toddler would cling to a favored stuffed animal. Pale beams of sunlight shined through parted blinds, warming your skin wherever they made contact. You shifted towards the sensation, Katsuki’s bed wide enough to allow the slight change, but you stopped the moment you heard the mass behind you groan, pulling you closer in an effort to minimize the nonexistent space between you.

“One more hour,” He mumbled, his voice weighed down by sleep and exhaustion and all the things you were sure a strong, hard-working Hero was afflicted by. “It’s too early for… whatever you’re doing.”

You were silent, for a beat, not afraid to speak, but still hesitant to. Instead, you rolled over, resting your head in the space between his collarbone and his chin, more intent on making Katsuki think you were comfortable than anything else. It was nice to sleep next to someone, even if you had to remind yourself of that, occasionally. Nicer than that empty, freezing room you used to be stuck in, anyway. “You don’t have to work today,” You said, the statement as much of a declaration as a rebuttal. “We should do something, it feels like you haven’t been home in weeks.”

Another groan, this one labored and throaty, signaling Katsuki’s exaggerated discontent. With a single, muscular arm, you were pulled from your place at his side and deposited unceremoniously on his chest, left to straddle his stomach and glower as he settled onto his back, the man smirking as he scanned over your disheveled form. It was a lazy sort of affection, only made more potent as he cupped your cheek, pulling you into a kiss that was barely a kiss, his lips only just touching yours before you both devolved into tired laughter.

Katsuki was the first to speak, only a touch more awake than he had been a second or two ago. It was the most you could ask for, though. “Exactly. It’s my day off, so I get to say what we’re doing.” He paused, watching intently as you sat up. You almost thought about moving, but something about the hands currently resting on your hips gave you the feeling you wouldn’t get very far. “And I say we’re doing absolutely fucking nothing. I don’t want to hear, see, or deal with anyone outside these four walls, not until Deku calls me to cry about whatever he stubbed his toe on today.”

You pursed your lips, glad he wasn’t capable of giving you his full attention. Any expression so mildly opinionated would never escape his notice, anytime else. “I was really hoping we could go out--”

“You want to go outside?”

You realized your mistake as soon as the words left his lips. “No, that’s not what I--” You cut yourself off, taking a deep breath and straightening your back, attempting to seem professional, composed. As if asking for his permission was a courtesy, rather than an obligation. “I want to spend time with you, ‘suki, and I want to do it out there. I’m not trying to trick you or find a way out or--”

“Or run away?” With one hand, his nails dug into your skin, rooting you in place as he pushed himself up with the other, coming to tower over you with little more than a change of position. He glanced towards his sides, looking for a way to restrain you, but rope and cuffs and chains weren’t necessary. Not when his glare was enough to pin you down. “Because least time I trusted you, that’s what you did. You attacked me, then you ran.” You could hear him choke on the phrase, his voice hitching and emerging as a growl in an effort to compensate. “And now, you’re trying to do it again. I don’t know why I thought you’d gotten better.”

“I’m not.” It was a weak defense, but you didn’t have a better option. There was rarely a good way to defend yourself against someone as insistent as Katsuki. “I’m not like that, anymore. I’m not going to leave--”

At that, he scoffed, rolling his eyes in a way that told you he was past the point of listening. “Remember what happened when you tried to take care of yourself? Remember how long it took you to recover, and how desperate you were when you finally dragged yourself back home? How long did you last? A week, two of ‘em, at most. We’re just lucky you made it out of that alive.”

You hadn’t realized you were still holding onto him, not until you found yourself moving to clutch at your own shirt, kneading at the fabric like that would ease your nerves. “It was a mistake.”

“Got that right,” He agreed, the scowl pressed into his lips never wavering. “There’s nothing you can do out there. No one’s gonna step up and protect you, not like I do. You’re helpless without me. There’s no point in tryin’ to deny it, not after we both saw what’ll happen to you.”

He might’ve had more to say. He might’ve gone on until you were silent and shaking and he was still ranting about criminals and villains and all the things he seemed so convinced would end your life the moment you took a step without his help. You’d been gone for a month, you’d escaped for a month, but that didn’t make your eventual submission any less painful to recall, and it certainly didn’t stop the tears from gathering in the corners of your eyes, or muffle the scratchy, uneven sob that was clawing its way up your throat, demanding your acknowledgment before it surrendered.

Katsuki went quiet as you began to cry, but he was far from finished. Rather, his approach morphed into one of faux-sympathy and inescapable affection, his arms wrapping around your torso and dragging you towards him, smothering you in a strategy so uncharacteristic, you had to melt into it. Resisting wasn’t an option, when Katsuki chose to be patient. “It’s alright,” He muttered, his tone suddenly so soft, so tender. If anything, it only made you cry harder. “That’s why I’m here, yeah? I need to keep you safe, even when you’re too much of a dumbass to appreciate me. I have to keep you grounded.”

This time, you didn’t respond. You couldn’t. You were too busy burying your face in the crook of his neck and clinging to him and letting him cling to you, not daring to wonder why you’d been opposed to it, earlier.

He was right. Katsuki took care of you, protected you, and you couldn’t afford to consider the alternative. You didn’t want to consider the alternative.

It was easier to let him hold you than it was to think about why you shouldn’t want him to.

[smol-and-grumpy]

Good Morning - Chapter 5

Coffee shop!AU

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Dean Winchester, owner of Dean’s Beans is living a humble and quiet life. Roasting beans and selling coffee in his little shop is what makes him happy. When she walked into his shop four months ago, his life changed, but is it for better or worse?

Chapter Warnings: Angst, mention of physical abuse, fluff too

WC: 2820

Beta’d by: @deanwanddamons​ <3

Series Masterlist ~ SPN Masterlist

Become a Patron ~ Buy me a coffee

Wednesday, September 9th

 Dean’s up before the alarm. It doesn’t happen that often since the alarm goes off at 5 AM and waking up before the set alarm doesn’t feel human to him. 

But this morning it happened because he laid awake the whole night. He laid awake last night too, if he’s honest. Sleep is not something that comes easily since he came back from the fishing trip with Ben and had time to be alone with his thoughts again. 

He thought it would be better if he sees her on Monday, that his heart would be calmer when she walks into his shop, and sets up her little workspace Dean had promised her she could have. But that never happened. She never showed up. And it irritates the shit out of him.

Dean pushes it off as she’s probably been busy, has gotten up late, and didn’t manage to come in to grab a coffee. And that she might have forgotten that he told her she could work in his shop. It’s just— it never happened before? She never stayed away on weekdays. Not in the four months he’s served her.

So yeah, he’s worried and he’s grumpy. 

The whole day went by and now it’s almost closing time. He had sent Benny home. Maybe because he had gotten on Dean’s nerves the whole day. Driving him nuts and pulling his leg because Dean’s overly grouchy. But maybe it’s also because it allows him to be alone with his thoughts without having to pretend as Benny’s rants about his girlfriend of the week. Dean’s sick of that too, not that he judges but maybe, if you don’t want to commit, then don’t? Benny’s not one who likes to be tied down, yet he always lets the girls talk him into it, only to dump them several weeks later. There had been scenes in the shop, not nice ones until Dean had had enough and told Benny to never bring a girl here ever again. 

Dean doesn’t know why he’s so sullen, alright? All he knows that it has been five fucking days since she was here last. It’s crazy how hung up he is on her. It’s not really a good thing.

He switches off the lights, only leaving the one at the coffee machine still shining brightly down at him while he starts to clean it. He thumbs over his phone, searches for some tunes to rock out to while cleaning. Because that’s also what he does. He likes to sing while cleaning, which annoys the fuck out of Benny.

His fingers work swiftly on the big machine, every move is programmed into his head, every motion sits right. It’s really mechanical. He's used to it, does it every day and by now, he thinks he’s able to do it with his eyes closed. Dean whistles to the tune of the music as he does, shaking his head, and mumbling the chorus. 

The art of coffee. Roasting the beans, grinding them, making coffee, cleaning the machine. It became his forte, his solace and form of therapy.  

He gets pulled out of his thoughts by a knock at the door.

Dean looks back, thinking it’s the back door. Thinking that maybe Benny’s forgotten something, and Dean has left the key in the lock so the other man can’t get in. When he looks back, there’s another knock and he realizes that it doesn’t come from the back.

He turns back around, sees a shadowy figure by the glass door. It has started to get dark outside, so he can only make out a shape.

Abandoning his task, he walks towards the door, the face of the person who’s knocking is hidden by the sign hanging on his shop door.

When he gets close enough to peek over the sign, Dean’s heart damn near stops beating.

He smiles, his hands are shaking and his legs almost give out, and yet, he still manages to turn the lock and open up.

Y/N looks tired, she looks a little thin. Looks like she hasn’t eaten for a couple of days. Her hair’s up in a ponytail, the circles around her eyes are dark. She hasn’t bothered with any kind of makeup. Dean doesn’t think that she needs any anyway.

“I’m sorry, I—, I didn’t,” She says, and pulls at her too large zipped hoodie that she’s wearing against the chill of the evening. 

Dean can’t help but wonder if it belongs to a man. Gets a little weird feeling deep down in his guts.

“Shit,” She mumbles, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come, you are closing and… god, it’s stupid, I’m sorry,” 

She turns around, and he knows that he has to stop her, and has the feeling that if he doesn’t, it’ll be a while until he’ll get to see her again.

So, Dean clears his throat, pushing words past his lips, “No, Y/N, wait,” He’s proud of himself for bringing anything past his lips, to be honest. Dean watches her turn back towards him and looks at him with that little frown as if she’s not sure. He grins, “Do you want a coffee?”

There’s a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips. It makes her face light up and he watches in slow motion as the smile spreads into something bigger. She exhales, tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, “Yeah,” She nods, “I’d like that. Only if it’s not too much trouble.”

How can he say that it’s the least of his troubles? How can he say that he would do so much more if it means that he gets a chance to see that smile again?

Dean doesn’t know, so all he does is shake his head, “Not at all,” He smiles back and waits for her to walk in.

Locking the door behind her, Dean follows her in further, and he notices that she’s looking at the dismantled machine.

“Oh no, you already cleaned,”

“I’m not finished,” He says and slips back behind the counter, “It’s really no trouble. Go sit, I’ll be right up,” Dean reassures her, sees her frowning at him and he has to chuckle, “Really, Y/N. It’s no big deal,”

“‘K,” She nods, bites on her lips. 

He notices that there’s no gloss on it, notices a little cut too. He wonders what caused it.

As she walks further into the shop, Dean turns the music down and switches on some overhead lights. Not all of them of course. He doesn’t want to give people the impression that he’s still open, but just enough so they wouldn’t be sitting in the dark. 

Dean screws the parts back to the machine with skilled fingers. He risks a glance over, sees her sitting at the same table as last time. She’s watching him too, and he feels his face warm up.

Returning to his task, Dean refills the beans and waits for the machine to warm up. When he finishes heating up the milk, he sets two mugs below it and screws the piston in. Soon, the delicious smelling black liquid pours out. 

He makes her a cappuccino. Honestly, he doesn’t know if she drinks any other coffee, but he wants to find out some time. 

Dean drinks his coffee black.

Carrying over the two mugs, his heart thumps a little faster the closer he gets. 

“Thank you so much, you didn’t have to,” She says, her head is a little lowered. It sounds like she genuinely feels bad for stopping by.

“Really,” Dean sits down, “It’s alright, don’t worry about it.” He waves her off, takes a sip of his coffee as he watches her wrap her hands around her mug, and tips it to her lips.

Y/N closes her eyes briefly as she swallows, probably letting the taste flood her nerves and mind. It shouldn’t affect him, but it does because there’s the drumming in his chest that gets slightly faster.

“I’m sorry, really,” She apologizes again, and keeps her mug at her lips, taking another sip, “I just… you know, I… Oh my god,” She sets the mug down and rubs herself over her face, “I can’t even talk,”

Dean chuckles lightly because he knows that feeling too well.

“Okay, again,” Y/N says, after she composes herself, “I didn’t know where to go and I kind of ended up here without me even realizing it. I’m sorry, I really didn’t want to hold you up. I’ll just drink the coffee and then I’ll be out of your hair.”

“Y/N, can you do me a favor?” Dean says with a straight face and a frown that’s not actually meant to intimidate her, but he realizes after he said it that it might have because he can look very intimidating, apparently. He doesn’t agree, but people have told him so.

“Huh?” She cocks an eyebrow at him and he can see the color rise in her face.

“Please stop apologizing? I mean, it’s really okay. It’s my pleasure, I’m actually happy to see you again.” 

There. He said it. Without stuttering too. Although he thinks his heart dropped to his balls for a second and is trying to climb back up.

She exhales audibly and there’s that small smile, “Thank you, I just… You must have other things to do.”

He thinks about her words. Thinks about what awaits him after he cleans the shop. Thinks about his empty apartment, his empty couch, empty bed. 

“I don’t,” He says truthfully, “Are you okay?” Dean asks, he doesn’t know why he does. Perhaps, because he wants to know if she’s okay. He still remembers the last time when she took off so suddenly.

“I am now, yeah,” She answers, her fingers playing with her mug.

“Why did you say you didn’t know where to go?”

“It’s been rough.” Y/N sighs and swallows. She’s about to lift her mug, but her hoodie gets in the way and she pulls the arms of them back a little subconsciously to be able to grip the mug and that’s when he sees it. Dean can not unsee it even if he would fucking try. 

The bruises. It’s a greenish-purple. Meaning that it’s healing.

Dean swallows hard, but he doesn’t say anything, waits for her to set the mug down. 

When she finishes her coffee, she has noticed him staring and is about to pull the arm of the sweater back. His hand shoots out, brushes over her wrist, and Dean thinks that she’s going to swat him away but she doesn’t.

“Who did this to you?” He asks with concern in his voice. 

“It’s nothing,” She mumbles. 

“Y/N,” Dean starts, has to swallow hard because he wonders what other bruises he would uncover if he lets her take off her hoodie. He swallows, because it physically hurts him, it irritates the fuck out of him, too. He calms himself down, at least enough to not burst out in a fit of anger, “I can see you’re not okay. You haven’t been here since Friday.”

“You’ve noticed?” She raises her eyebrow in question.

“Yeah,” Dean chuckles, “I notice when you don’t come and get your coffee. To be honest,” Dean sighs and his heart is beating a little faster, “You’re the highlight of the day, so yeah, I notice.”

She doesn’t say anything, just dips her chin down a little, the color rises in her cheeks. 

“Who did this to you?” He asks again, wondering if it the one who left her a message in all caps last time. That Chris— something. Because Dean would like to rip that guy’s lungs out. “Do you need help? Can I help in any way?” He asks, when she still doesn’t answer.

“I—, It’s…. Ugh,” She closes her eyes, “It’s my ex-boyfriend.”

Ex. 

At least it’s an ex. Dean can live with that.

He doesn’t say anything. He sits there, perfectly still and waits until she speaks again because there’s no point in him getting angry, even if he would love to bash that guys head in, for sure. 

“It’s nothing, Dean. It’s over now.”

“Is that why he hurt you? Because you broke off with him?”

“Not necessarily. I was late getting home on Friday.”

Fuck. It was because of him, wasn’t it?

Dean swallows down the guilt he feels, “Shit, I’m sorr—”

“—No, it’s not your fault.” She’s quick to add, “It’s my fault, too.”

“Y/N, no. Someone hurting you is never your fault, you gotta know that.” 

She looks down at her hands in her lap.

“Is that why you didn’t show up? Because you wanted the bruises to heal? That’s why you came here? Because you said you didn’t know where to go?”

Dean sees one single teardrop falling from her eyes to the hand in her lap.

“Shit,” Dean gets up from his chair, walks around, and takes her hands out from her lap. He helps her up to her feet, wraps his arms around her, and lets her cry into his chest. 

While he lets her cry her eyes out, he strokes her back, stroke her head, feels fucking anger towards her ex. 

“Are you scared to go home?”

“Uh-huh,” She mumbles into his chest.

“Does he have a key?” 

“I changed the lock,”

He feels her hand coming around his middle, hugging him back. That’s a start, right? He just wishes he wouldn’t be semi-hard just from that. It’s not the fucking right time.

“Do you want to stay here? I mean, you don’t know me, but I just want to help. My apartment’s right above the shop and I have a spare bedroom.”

Y/N pushes herself away from him and looks up. Her nose is swollen and red, her eyes too. It’s too cute. 

“I can’t,” She says, “I—, I mean I can’t invade your space just because I don’t like to be alone at night.”

“What if I insist?”

“Dean, really, it’s too much.”

“Okay,” He chuckles, “What would you do if you won’t stay?”

She looks down, nibbles at her lips as she thinks, “I think I’d go to the diner close to here, they open till 2 AM.”

“The crowd there’s terrible,” Dean mumbles, he’s been in there before, nobody’s usually sober in there.

“I just have to kill some time.” She shrugs and winds herself out of his embrace. He didn’t even notice that he’s still holding her.

Dean lets his hand drop to his side, missing the feeling of her body pressed to his already, “Kill your time in my apartment,” He says, “That way I know nothing will happen to you.”

 *

 She lets him guide her up to his apartment, let him show her where her bed will be for the night, lets him show her the couch, and that he has a fridge stocked with edible things. 

He excuses himself to go down and lock up his shop, finishing cleaning up his machine in record time.

When Dean comes back up, she’s splayed on his couch, the blanket pulled up to her chin. Netflix is still on, some documentaries about serial killers. He hopes she doesn’t think that he is one. She’s sleeping, and Dean really doesn’t want to wake her, but he does because there’s a perfect bed in the room, she shouldn’t be sleeping on an uncomfortable couch.

“Hey,” He kneels down, hand reaching out to shake her gently.

Y/N stirs just a little before she turns and buries her face deeper into his couch. Dean wonders how much sleep she’d had lately. It might be the safest she felt in days. Maybe, weeks. He doesn’t know, doesn’t even want to think about it because it makes him mad again. 

“Hey, Y/N,” Dean tries again, waiting for a reaction.

When none is forthcoming, he decides to scoop her up and carry her to bed. Dean notices as he pulls the blanket from her body that she has stripped to her shirt. Her one forearm is bruised, as well as her upper arm. Fucker must have had a tight grip around her. 

He curses to himself as he carries her over to his guest room and lays her down. Dean covers her and the shirt and strokes her hair out of her face. His finger brushes along her throat, catching the collar of her shirt. The lighting is not very good, but his eyes can’t miss the bruise along her shoulder. It goes further down too, but Dean doesn’t dare to look. Doesn’t want her waking up and think that he’s being nosy. Which he really isn’t but he’s just… so fucking mad that someone did this to her.  

Goddammit.

Shaking his head, he makes his way out of the room. With a last look back, he closes the door. 

Chapter 6

Please share your thoughts with me, I’d love to hear your feedback.

[staketheheart]

Noise

Jade was having a damn good dream that was unfairly obliterated when the rhythmic sound chased it away. Her eyes shot open and she tensed, anger quickly clearing away sleep. Not even the comfy warmth Tori gave off next to her calmed her down. She was tired of losing sleep, of the inability to focus on work when her neighbor's creaking bed pierced her peace. She could not fathom why they didn't at least get a new bed if their activities were going to persist at all times of the day. She couldn't count how many times she had to wear earbuds to bed in an effort to drown them out. Or how many times she banged on the wall in a wasted effort to silence them when she couldn't concentrate on her writing. Her creativity greatly suffered, and she lost sleep when it started early in the morning, waking her up hours before her alarm was set to go off. And to make matters worse, Tori was such a heavy sleeper she heard nothing. She was a master at tuning out bothersome sounds, having lived with Trina for so long.

But not Jade. Jade had no tolerance for annoyances. She even 'accidentally' let her stepmother's dog out when it wouldn't stop yapping. The poor animal was found days later down the street by a concerned neighbor who just brought the little beast right back to continue to annoy her. She let out a loud sigh that became a growl, rubbing her eyes. It seemed like she would forever be irritated no matter where she went. She rolled over and slipped her arm around Tori's middle, hugging her close and burying her face in her back. Tori grumbled something in her sleep but continued to snore on, unbothered and leaving Jade to attempt to regain sleep. But she didn't. She stayed awake until her alarm went off, finally waking up Tori. She stretched out, a sleepy smile on her face when she noticed how close Jade held her.

"Well good morning," she mumbled, turning her bright smile on Jade. It slowly fell when she was met with Jade's grumpy scowl, lack of sleep easily recognizable in her eyes.

"Did they bother you again?" Tori asked, resting a hand on Jade's face gently, concern in her frown. Jade only blinked, a brow jumping up incredulously.

"I really don't know how you can sleep through it. Or ignore the chick's obviously fake moaning. I swear, it's like a bad porno is playing on full blast over there. Don't get me started on the headboard shaking the wall because the squeaking bed is enough to drive me nuts as it is. I think I might actually leave a note on their door highlighting just how pissed off I am and demand that they at the least buy a new damn bed," Jade ranted, voice strained with simmering anger. Tori could see it building in the way Jade's jaw muscles flexed, the way her eyes glinted with malicious intent, the way her nostrils flared like a raging bull. She was no stranger to angry Jade. It was turned on her one too many times in high school to not recognize the signs that something bad was about to befall some poor soul. And just as it always has been, it fell to her to try and calm her down.

"Well, you did already key their car and pop their tires. You even scared the crap out of them when you pretended to be attacked and they almost called the police. You're lucky they came over to check on you instead of calling them or you would have been in big trouble," Tori replied, recounting Jade's endeavors to drive away their annoying neighbors.

"And yet, they're still here and still giving me a headache. I mean, I understand. Young couples, newly living together, they can't keep their hands off each other. I've been there. But seriously, if you're going to go at it all day be considerate to other people. These apartment walls aren't soundproof. Seriously, all I ask is a quiet bed and maybe less fake orgasms," Jade continued.

"Jade!" Tori exclaimed, scandalized.

"Tori, you can't disagree, even if you've rarely heard them. We don't even get that obnoxious and you're a freaking tiger in bed," Jade pointed out, causing Tori's blush to get worse. She was currently sitting up against the headboard, gripping the blankets to her chest, eyes wide and face red. She never could get used to the explicit way Jade spoke about things. She was far more conservative concerning private matters.

"Maybe you should say something then?" she suggested, turning to look at Jade. The dark-haired woman turned on her back and glared up at the ceiling.

"If I confront them about it I can't guarantee that I won't hurt them if they refuse to listen," she responded honestly. Tori rolled her eyes. Jade saw it and threw up her hands to let them fall back on either side of her.

"I can't help it. People have this rude habit of annoying me," she said.

"How many times do I have to tell you to be nice? If you just nicely explained the situation, I think they'll be more willing to comply. Threatening them with scissors won't work forever," Tori remarked sagely.

"It's worked so far," Jade responded pointedly. Tori pinched at the bridge of her nose, eyes closed.

"You know being nice is hard for me when people are so stupid or annoying," Jade pressed, propping herself up on an elbow to face Tori who was still frowning.

"Besides, you remember that day I tried to play nice with Moaning Myrtle when we were coming back from our date and she cut us off coming into the gate. I was mad, but I didn't even cuss at her. She apologized and I accepted. Even though I hate pretending to be nice to someone I really just want to throw a brick at," Jade recounted. Tori nodded and shrugged one shoulder, giving her that. It was a better response than allowing a laugh at the nickname she gave the neighbor. That would only encourage her. And Tori didn't want Jade to ruin Harry Potter for her more than she already had.

"The guy is a total dick though. Have you heard his conversations when the bros are invited over and she's gone? I wouldn't mind throwing a brick at him too," Jade added. This time Tori did chuckle. Jade's pout was adorable and her petulant tone added to the affect. Not that she approved of Jade's tantrum. She opened her mouth to offer condolences that would put Jade at ease when the very thing that upset her in the first place started up again. In an instant Jade was up and throwing the blankets off.

"That's it!" she snarled, stomping toward the door. Tori scrambled out of bed to cut her off.

"How about some coffee first? You always say it's a warm and delicious alternative to hating everybody, every morning, forever," Tori hastily reminded her, hands out to stop Jade from advancing. Jade stopped right before she reached the door, staring Tori down. Her expression went from angry to calm and then calculative. Tori didn't like the mischievous smirk that graced her lips seconds later. Like a flip of a switch Jade was eyeing Tori like a panther on the hunt. She fidgeted, her mind racing, trying to come up with a reason for the sudden change.

"I've just thought of a great idea," Jade revealed, stalking closer to reach past Tori to shut the door behind her, while at the same time backing her up until she was then pressed to the closed door.

"Uh, mind letting me in on it?" Tori stammered.

"Gladly, since you're going to help me," Jade answered, resting a warm hand on Tori's waist.

"With what?" Tori asked.

"Revenge," Jade whispered in her ear, body pressed against hers. She shivered.

"That won't solve anything," Tori tried to tell her, biting her lip when Jade's lips pressed to the sensitive spot just under the corner of her jaw.

"You sure about that? It's worth a try," Jade disagreed, moving to bite playfully at Tori's ear. Tori hummed, trying to focus her thoughts, but it devolved into a groan instead. Her thought process struggled. Jade's hands ran up her sides under her shirt then traced back down, making her skin tingle.

"Well, I don't like to call it revenge. Returning the favor sounds nicer," Tori allowed, causing Jade to laugh.

"Whatever you want to call it, Tor," she muttered, pulling her away from the door to relocate against the wall by their bed. The same wall they shared with their annoying neighbors. The squeaking still persisted but Jade planned to make them regret it. She reached up to knock hard on the wall, earning a short pause in the squeaking. As soon as it stopped she turned her attention to Tori.

"I'm sure you know what to do," she murmured, dragging a finger down her front to tug suggestively at her pajama shorts. Tori couldn't help reacting.

"Jade," she gasped. Jade grinned.

"I've never heard a better sound than when you're whimpering my name," Jade purred in her ear, knowing her words would help stoke the fire. Tori groaned and closed her eyes, head falling back and hips pressing into Jade's hands.

"Let's see if we can beat them at their own game," Jade challenged, sealing it with a kiss that quickly escalated into more.

The next morning Jade woke up to peaceful silence. Vaguely she remembered falling asleep to the same silence, Tori wrapped in her arms after another round of blissful revenge. She made sure Tori made her pleasure known and didn't hold back when Tori reciprocated. She wasn't normally rough with Tori, preferring tender passion, but she made sure their own bed complimented their activities. A large, pleased, smile spread across her face. It was the first thing Tori saw when she woke up several minutes later. It remained all through breakfast and grew impossibly bigger when they left their apartment and happened across their annoying neighbors in the parking lot. The couple awkwardly glanced at them and then hastily got in their car. Jade innocently waved at them when they drove by.

She was confident her point was made, but she would gladly improve upon it should they bother her again. Which they did when they got over the first incident. They went right back to it and Jade responded in kind. Until a week later she spotted a delivery man dropping off a rather large box. It looked like the neighbors finally got that new bed. For the first time in over a year Jade could work with focus, get to sleep on time, wake up on time, and enjoy the silence at her leisure. Whether the couple next door picked up on their activities or not remained unknown to Jade. Just as it should be.

"You're ridiculous," Tori told her one night while cuddled into her side, skin pressed against skin. Their own time together had gone back to slow and sweet. Jade chuckled, turning her head to kiss Tori's temple.

"I know," she agreed, proud and unashamed. Tori was just relieved the situation had been resolved without violence this time. To her, that was progress she would be all too happy to encourage.

[vigilvntes]

Bruises - Kylo Ren x Fem!Reader (Star Wars)

A/N: the way i had the opening of this in my drafts for ages and then at the big time of 2am i decided i wanted to rewrite the whole thing and get it published ;) i’m so much more motivated to write than usual when i should be doing uni work but oh well more kylo content for you guys <33 inbox is always open for requests while im actually writing so feel free to send and i hope you enjoy <33

Word count: 1900+

Warnings: mentions of minor injuries. 

You walked out of the casino, wincing as the harsh evening winds hit your bare arms. The dress you wore did little to nothing to protect you from the weather, but the last thing you expected to be doing was leaving the venue in search of your date.

Canto Bight was never your favourite place. In your opinion, it was filled with sleazes, who only came to the city for three things: money, booze and sex. However, you were the daughter of a noble family and despite your wishes, your family often sent you along to the gatherings they were expected to attend, assuming that you would fit in with the crowd more than they would. They thought you’d enjoy the party, enjoy the alcohol, even the attention you often seemed to draw to yourself. How wrong they were.

However, there was always one saving grace to evenings like these: Commander Kylo Ren, of the First Order.

The two of you weren’t official, as much as you would like to be. You understood that he had work to do, with his grandfather leaving big boots to fill, he barely had time to sleep, let alone date. But for some strange reason, you were different. You caught his attention, and he made sure to make time for you, whether that meant attending parties and events with you, or simply going out of his way to visit you, if only for an hour. 

Truthfully, you had spent many nights lying awake, tears in your eyes as you thought about your future, which you hoped would be with Kylo. Would he eventually ask you to be his girlfriend? Would he want to marry? To him, those questions would seem trivial, of no importance. He loved you, and would find ways to show you. But to you they meant a lot, and you were hoping for some kind of answers sometime soon. 

You shook your head as you made your way over to the short wall which surrounded the casino, leaning on it, using your elbows to keep yourself propped up as your head rested in your hand. Your gaze flitted between the city and the body of water beyond, which seemed strangely calm despite the mean winds. For a moment, you forgot about the cold, forgot about why you had even come outside in the first place as you watched the waves slowly made their way towards the shore. 

Your peace was soon interrupted.

A pair of hands snaked around your waist from behind and you let out a yelp, turning around quickly to face whoever had touched you, ready to defend yourself as much as you possibly could. Until you heard that familiar, smug chuckle come from behind a mask. You knew exactly who it was before you.

You rolled your eyes, “Way to make an entrance, Commander.” Despite your annoyance, you truly were happy to see him. Immediately you pulled him towards you and wrapped your arms around him, smiling into his chest as you felt him return the gesture. 

Eventually, you pulled away and narrowed your eyes at the man. “Don’t think you’ve gotten away with it. I still have a bone to pick with you.”

Despite how hard he tried to hide it, you heard him sigh lightly underneath the mask and mumble a disgruntled, “Go on.”

“First of all you’re late.”

“(Y/N), I had bus-”

“I’m not finished.” If anyone else spoke to him that way, they would surely be punished. But not you. He allowed you to put him in his place, mainly because he couldn’t ever bring himself to snap at you, but also because he found you too cute when you were pissed off with him.

You took his silence as a go ahead to continue with your rant. “You’re late. Your clothes are ruined. Your helmet still has smoke coming from it. Do I need to continue? How did you even get here? Where have you been?”

“Like I said-”

“Take it off.” You demanded. You were sick of hearing the robotic voice coming from the mask already. You wanted to speak with Kylo, not Commander Ren. 

An almost stunned silence washed over him and he replied to your demand with a quiet, “T-take it off?”

“The helmet, genius. Take it off.”

The two of you stared at each other for a moment, but eventually he reached his hands up and pulled the helmet from his head, revealing a mop of dark, curly hair, which had grown longer since the last time you saw one another, and just as you had expected, new cuts adorned his face, almost nicking the gauze of the scar he had attained during the destruction of Starkiller. But what really caught your attention was the black eye. 

He simply stared at you, waiting patiently for you to react, prepared to accept anything you threw his way. But for a moment you said nothing, all you could do was sigh.

After a minute, you moved closer to him and reached up, your fingers tracing the scar on his cheek, offering him a small, sympathetic smile, “If I remember correctly, the invitation said black tie, not black eye, Ren.”

Kylo couldn’t help but smile at your comment, and you were glad to hear his deep voice, which you had missed so dearly, reply with, “I must have read it wrong.”

“You wanna tell me how Kylo Ren, Commander of the First Order, has ended up with a black eye?”

His smile dropped at your inquiry to know more about his injuries, and your smile followed suit as you realised exactly what had happened. “It was them, wasn’t it?” You asked.

“Who?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, Kylo. It was the Scavenger and her Resistance friends, wasn’t it?”

His silence said everything. He pushed his tongue into his cheek and looked away from you, almost embarrassed. And truthfully, it was quite embarrassing. He was Commander Ren. He was feared. Respected. Yet he couldn’t even manage to capture and kill a scavenger girl. 

You turned away from him, moving your attention back to the sea, crossing your arms. He knew you were pissed and he’d have to talk his way out of this one somehow. His silence simply wasn’t enough.

“(Y/N). I’m sorry that I turned up so late.” You didn’t even move, let alone reply, so he continued. “And I’m sorry about the state of my attire.” No reply. “And.... I would also like to apologise for the state of my face.” He wasn’t usually one to apologise to anyone, but a genuine apology from him was the only way for him to bounce back from his fuck up’s.

You tried your hardest to keep your composure, but one of the most powerful men in the galaxy apologising for his face was enough to bring a smile to anyone’s lips. “I guess she got you good, huh?”

He came to your side after hearing your joking retort, “You could say that.” He found himself thinking this too often, but if anyone else had mocked him this way he most likely would have destroyed a wall or two. He knew you would never think of him as a failure, or an embarrassment, as many probably did. Your light-hearted jabs at him were mainly for your own comfort. To make light of any bad situation he often found himself in.

You sighed, leaning your head onto his shoulder. You hated how quickly you could melt back into him again, but you couldn’t waste any more precious time you had together being angry or upset, “I just worry about you,”

“I know. But you shouldn’t,” He mumbled. “I can be reckless. I throw myself into danger. But I also come back fine.” He knew to you those words would probably mean nothing, but he was trying his best to comfort you. 

“You make it so hard not to worry. I mean, this war you’ve got going on... It’s so much bigger than you, or me, or the Scavenger girl. And truthfully, I’m scared. Terrified, actually. For you, for me. For my family. For everyone, really.” That was the first time you had ever admitted your fears to him. There was no way he’d give up his title, give up the First Order, but you hoped he’d provide you with a little reassurance that things would be okay. 

His grip on you tightened, not so much that it would hurt you, but enough to know that he felt every word you spoke. “You know I wouldn’t ever let anything happen to you, or anyone you care about. I care about you too much to hurt you like that.” He stepped in front of you and knelt down, taking both of your hands. “As for everything else, I can’t make any promises. No one, not even the Supreme Leader knows what’s coming next. All I can ask is that you trust me enough to make the right choices.”

His words, for some reason you couldn’t quite decipher, felt like they held some hidden meaning. Like he was planning something drastic, or he knew something drastic would happen in the future. But you took these thoughts with a grain of salt, choosing not to press him any further, and instead choosing to trust him, as he asked of you. Squeezing his hand lightly, you offered him a small smile, “Of course I trust you. I’d trust you with my life. Just... Do what’s right. And if it doesn’t feel or seem right then... Don’t.”

He nodded and stood up slowly, “Of course.” After a few moments of peaceful silence shared between the two of you, as you processed each other’s words, he broke it. “You’re going to have my head the next time I see you, I know, but I have to go.”

Your eyebrows furrowed, “You have to go? As in you’re not staying?”

“I can’t tell you how sorry I am, and I know I said I’d join you for the night but given how today went, I’m not even supposed to be here.”

“Oh, and where exactly are you supposed to be?” You knew the answer already, and you knew he’d probably be in some deep trouble, you just wanted him to say it himself.

Once again, he pushed his tongue into his cheek before replying with, “The Supremacy.”

Bingo, you thought to yourself. The Supremacy. The Supreme Leader’s ship. And Kylo chose to go out of his way to see you first, prioritising you over his master. You couldn’t help but feel flattered, even though your plans for the night had been ruined. You gave him a small smile, “I suppose because you came to me first, and because I’m almost certain the Supreme Leader is gonna give you a harder time than I ever could, I’ll let this one go,”

“I appreciate that.” He leant down and pressed his lips to yours gently, and when he pulled away, he left another on your forehead. “I’ll see you soon, I promise.”

As you watched him walk away, towards the steps, you wished you could go with him. Be by his side, be able to see him everyday. Even though you knew that wasn’t exactly possible at the moment, you couldn’t help but ask. Before you could stop yourself, you had called his name, and he, already a few metres away, had turned to look back at you. 

He knew what you were going to ask, and this time his answer was more hopeful than it had been before. He couldn’t tell you what was to come, but he hoped it would work for the both of you.

“Kylo I-.... One day, will you take me with you?”

He nodded his head slowly, and spoke only one word, “Soon.”

[obsidianfr3sk]

true colors

@renegadesnet event 10: pride

↪ [ “But everything was temporary. And pain was one of those things. Well, except love. Everything but love was temporary. Or that was what he liked to believe.” ]

Summary: Two years after the supernova, after Tamaya notified them the gearboxes that contained the lights had gotten soaked and that she needed the money to buy more before the next day (June 1st), Simon realized they were not enough for him anymore. 

Simon wanted a bigger flag. 

No. He wanted two. The biggest pride flags he could find.

AO3

Hello, friends!! I hope you’ve been having an excellent pride month and have been eating a lot rainbow cake and pissing off a lot of conservatives with the mere fact of your wonderful existence:’) As my contribution to this month and the event organized by @renegadesnet, I decided to write a fic focused on my favorite gay dads and their sons (bc I’m me, and you should have seen this coming.) 

Before you read, I want to give a trigger warning: at the start of a fic I talk about a homophobic attack, which is not graphic or violent per se (it’s someone in the middle of the night taking away the flag they put outiside the house), and I do discuss about internalized homophobia during some parts of the story. If you read it and are sensitive to this kind of stuff, proceed with caution and take care of yourself <3

Also, this entry is a collaboration with my talented mother @healing-winston-pratt, who is going to be uploading some fanart of this in a near future, so keep an eye on that👀 she’s the best skjhkjds thank you for accepting to collaborate, I feel this is a great bonding activity and I hope we can do this more often✨

I need to update my tag list because a lot of the people who were included are not active as active as they were before/changed their URLs. But I’m going to tag @the-wee-woo-rita @lackadae @all-weather-is-bad @chiyuki-hiro bc you guys are the only ones who are still active users who I had on my previous tag list lol

With that said, I hope you enjoy this fic. I think that despite the angsty parts, it came out really fluffy and domestic, it was fun to write. And to all my queer silbings who are reading this: I am very proud of you.  

But I see your true colors shining through.

I see your true colors, and that's why I love you.

So don't be afraid to let them show.

Your true colors,

true colors are beautiful like a rainbow

Simon couldn’t remember a time when he didn’t know he was gay.

There was a time when he didn’t know he was gay, of course. He was probably too young to even comprehend the meaning behind that word. And there was also a moment in his life when he felt embarrassed about it, and sad, and angry, and really, really scared, and probably thought that no matter how hard he tried, he was never going to be happy living the life he wanted to live.

That the pain was never going to end. That he was going to be miserable for the rest of his existence, and that maybe, there was no point in existing if he was going to stay like that until the day he died.

But everything was temporary. And pain was one of those things.

Well, except love. Everything but love was temporary. Or that was what he liked to believe.

That was the reason why, the first year after the Day of Triumph, he told Hugh they should get a rainbow flag for their house. They went to one of the first stores that opened at the mall (that had just been remodeled after twenty years of being abandoned) and bought one at a not so affordable price. Simon offered himself to install it on one of the fence pillars and had to spend thirty minutes listening to Hugh telling him that maybe he should let him do it, that the ladder Kasumi had lent them was ratty, and that Simon was going to fall.

Fortunately, Simon didn’t. He did almost fall, though, when he was about to pass out from stress because seeing Hugh getting all anxious, made Adrian cry and he started to basically beg him to come down, given that now he was convinced he was going to fall, and hearing his dad saying “Look what you’ve done to the kid, Simon” didn’t help at all to make Adrian (or Simon) feel better.

That night, there was a thunderstorm and Adrian used it as an excuse to sleep on their bed. As soon as he cried himself to sleep, two hours later, after their dads did everything in their power to calm him down, hugging him, giving him kisses, and assuring him his aunt Tamaya wasn’t going to let the storm hurt them, Simon raised his hand to high-five Hugh and tell him that they were amazing parents, just to realize he was already asleep. Simon silently judged him for sleeping so soundly while his son was having a crisis instead of sleeping.

When he woke up (at five in the morning) Adrian was looking out their window, with the Baby Indomitable blanket on his shoulders. The sky was still cloudy, but it wasn’t raining anymore.

“Darling, what are you doing?,” Simon told him. “Today’s Sunday. Let your daddy and I get some more sleep—”

“The storm took our flag,” Adrian blurred out.

Hugh was already awake too. “What?”

“You said the storm wasn’t going to hurt us,” Adrian said, turning around to see them, “but the storm took our flag.”

Simon got out of bed, looked through the window...

And, yes, the flag was completely gone.

But for some reason, Simon knew it hadn’t been the storm.

“Why would the storm do something like this?” Adrian asked.

Simon didn’t know how to answer that. Luckily, Hugh did.

“Because the storm is homophobic, son.”

Adrian laughed out loud and then asked his dads if they could have pancakes for breakfast. He had already forgotten about the storm and the flag.

They didn’t. Neither of them ever forgot about it.

While Simon and Adrian ate their pancakes, Hugh went to his office because, according to him, he needed to check something. When Adrian finished his breakfast and went back to his dads’ room to watch TV, Simon stayed in the kitchen, doing the dishes, and Hugh finally came downstairs. He was pretty quiet, and Simon thought that it probably was because he had told him to eat the burnt pancakes he didn’t dare to throw away, but after he finished them all, he said:

“I lied.”

Simon threw a glance at him. “When did you lie?”

“When I said the storm was homophobic,” Hugh answered.

“Well, of course, you lied, love. Storms don’t have strong political opinions about gay people.”

Hugh didn’t laugh. “What I mean is— that it wasn’t the storm.”

Every joke Simon’s brain could come up with disappeared at that moment. So he continued doing the dishes, and Hugh, thinking he hadn’t made himself clear, continued talking.

“It was someone else. It was a person. I saw them on—”

“I know,” Simon interrupted him. “I know. I’ve always known.”

But even if Simon knew, he still told Hugh to show him the footage because four eyes were better than two (especially considering that the owner of those first two eyes needed to wear glasses). It was all useless, though; the storm made the image all blurry, and the only thing they could see was someone taking it and running away in the middle of the night.

Simon wanted to think that it was just some dumb teen whose friends had  challenged him to do it. But when it came to things like those one never really knew.

On Monday, they had promised Adrian to take him to the park that was a few blocks away so they could teach him how to fly a kite, but the thought of going out made him feel as if something bad was going to happen to them if they did, so Simon told Adrian that he and Hugh were feeling sick and that they would stay in their room to get some rest. Adrian asked them if they minded that he stayed there too because he was in the middle of watching a movie he had never seen before.

“Only if we can watch it with you,” Simon answered.

It was a weird day to be alive. They really just stayed there, watching silly cartoons with their kid and listening to him ranting about the weird proportions those characters had.

During the afternoon, Adrian told them he was hungry, so Simon went downstairs to look for something they could eat. He was thinking that maybe they should order something from that Chinese restaurant Tamaya had taken him the other day, when Hugh entered the kitchen and told him Adrian had  asked him if he could bring him water.

Simon felt his hands were trembling while he looked inside his wallet for the paper where he had written the restaurant’s phone number.

“Do you want to get another flag?” Hugh asked him.

And something hurt.

Something hurt inside of him. Something started to cry, and to scream, and to flicker, trying to make him invisible to the world.

And it told him, the same way Adrian had told him he was hungry, that someone had taken him by surprise and made a deep cut on his chest.

But Simon didn’t allow it to come out.

He just said: “No.”

And Hugh answered him: “Me neither.”

He called the Chinese restaurant to order some food, while Simon went to their room with Adrian again and cuddled with him, trying to tend to the wounds of that something that was bleeding out inside of him.

Little Simon was crying, and screaming, and flickering, and needed adult Simon to take care of him.

The next day, they talked about the incident with the rest of the Council during their lunch break. It was one of those few occasions the six of them were together in the same room during their work hours. Tamaya was furious about the flag situation. She ranted for a good five minutes without anyone interrupting her about how fucking horrible people were and that she was going to find that little piece of shit and cut his hands off. Kasumi nodded in approval while drinking some horchata she had bought for herself, probably thinking about how to ask Tamaya to let her join her revolution (something she didn’t need to do, since Tamaya always included Kasumi in everything she did). Evander, on the other hand, was very quiet, something that made him feel a little bit relieved because he was not a sensitive person and Simon didn’t want him to... Evander  the situation.

He didn’t say anything insensitive that day, though.

In fact, he said something… helpful, even.

“What about a flag made of light?” 

Hugh rubbed his eyes and Simon knew what he was going to say before he opened his mouth.

Because he said that phrase constantly.

“Shut the fuck up, Evander.”

But Evander didn’t shut up. “Dude, think about it. No one would be able to take down a flag made of light.”

And everyone realized that, now, it was not only one of those strange occasions when the six of them got together to have lunch during their work hours; it was also one of those strange occasions when Evander had an idea that was actually good.

So after spending another hour discussing how they were going to make it work, they decided they were going to lit up the building in rainbow-colored lights.

Tamaya and Hugh were the ones in charge of almost all the operation because Evander said he had already given them the idea, so he didn’t need to do anything else (and then got mad at Hugh when he told the media he was the one who came up with it). Kasumi helped them, but was especially insistent about putting a trans pride flag somewhere in the building, and after they agreed with her, she personally hung it on the main entrance of Headquarters.

They started turning the lights on each night of June since that yeat.

Hugh and Simon still didn’t get a flag. Three nights after they told their friends about what had happened during the thunderstorm, Simon was woken up by the sound of someone crashing against the trash cans and almost jumped out of the window with his dagger  on hand to slay whoever was trying to break into their house, but when he peeked out to see what was going on, he realized the “robber” was Kasumi, who had put a bunch of small pride flags on some pots they kept on their porch and started crying as soon as she realized Simon was watching her, not because she was upset the surprise she had for them had been ruined, but because now she was covered in trash.

(That week was like a sign Georgie was sending them from the afterlife to tell them they needed to install a better security system.)

Those were the only flags they kept around the house. They were small and discreet, and, most importantly, no one had taken them away. Why? Well— because they listened to Georgie’s sign and installed a better security system. Not because there weren’t any more homophobes out there who were willing to do it.

Until that moment, those flags (the little ones Kasumi had given them in a rather unconventional way and the one made of light that Evander had come up with) had been more than enough for them. But, two years after the supernova, after Tamaya notified them the gearboxes that contained the lights had gotten soaked and that she needed the money to buy more before the next day (June 1st), Simon realized they were not enough for him anymore.

Simon wanted a bigger flag.

No. He wanted two.

The biggest pride flags he could find.

 ***

That was the reason why, after having pancakes for breakfast (because it had rained during the night), he took the car, took the other three people living in that house with him, and after he was able to read the map, they arrived at a store that, among other things, sold flags like the ones they were looking for.

“I want one too,” Adrian told them when they were at the flag section of the store. “For my room, you know. And I want to get ones for Danna and Nova because I don’t think they have any. They would’ve told me.”

Usually, when Adrian asked for something Simon hadn’t agreed to buy him, like some candy, an action figure, or a pair of sneakers, he would turn around and ask him if he had the money to buy any of those things himself, which would anger him so much he would stop wanting that certain thing.

But that day, he felt like buying them everything they wanted. As if money grew on trees (something he always told his kids didn’t happen.)

“Of course, darling,” he answered, “get them everything you want. It’s pride month.”

“It’s May 31th,” Max said. He was inside the shopping cart Hugh had grabbed the second they entered. It was something he always did, even if they weren’t going to buy a lot of things because, according to him, it felt weird and wrong not to.

“It’s almost pride month,” he corrected himself.

“So can I get something for Nova?” Adrian asked again, just to make sure.

“You can get something for Nova,” Hugh assured him, smiling a little bit.

Adrian quickly turned around and started looking for the flag he wanted while texting Nova about something Simon couldn’t read (not like he was trying to, anyway).

After making sure Adrian stayed on the same aisle as them, they started walking around, gazing at the flags and posters available. Simon felt pretty progressive because he was able to name every single sexuality and gender they were supposed to represent. He imagined Hugh was doing the same thing, but with a lot more difficulty than him. He kept his eyes fixated on each flag longer than Simon did, as if he were trying to remember what they meant, and when he did, he pushed the cart (with Max still inside of it, playing a game on Hugh’s phone because he had forgotten his tablet at home), and the cycle began again.

But suddenly, Simon saw ones that he didn’t recognize.

After three seconds of standing in front of those little flags, someone hit him in the butt with their cart. He turned around immediately, ready to say a really threatening “Hey” to whoever had done it.

Hugh was the only other person who was there. He had been the one who had hit him with the cart.

Suddenly, Simon felt a little bit stupid for thinking someone else had done it.

The two of them maintained eye contact for a couple of seconds until Hugh started looking at his own hands grabbing the cart’s handle.

“Simon.” Before Simon could ask him what happened, he added, with a deep voice: “Move.”

Simon didn’t move. Instead, he hit the cart with his hips, just out of spite. Hugh hit him again with it, making Simon feel the unexpected need to grab the cart with his two hands and use his own weapon against him, but Max was there and they couldn’t act like kids in front of him. So he just hit the cart with his hips again, a little bit harder than the first time, and left it there.

He realized he was just going to be wasting his time asking Hugh if he knew what that flag was supposed to represent.

“Cherub,” he called Max. “Do you recognize this flag?”

Max looked up from the screen. He usually didn’t like it when he called him “cherub” in public, but this time, he didn’t seem mad about it. “Um… no? Ask Adrian—” and continued playing.

Adrian came back with a basket full of pins, and for a second, Simon almost asked him if he really was that naive to believe he was actually going to pay for all of them. But then, he realized that it was only the basket where they kept all of the pins they sold and that Adrian had taken it to show them to them.

“Look, they have so many pins here—” he started taking random pins “—this is the aromantic flag… this is the genderfluid flag—”

“Interesting,” Hugh interrupted him, “but which flag is that one?” and pointed at the one Simon didn’t recognize.

Max took a random pin from the basket and started looking at it with curiosity. Adrian almost didn’t pay attention to it, and after a few seconds, he said: “That one’s yours.”

Simon frowned and took one. It was a handheld flag with green and blue stripes, with a white one in the middle. He touched the polyester with his fingertips as if that was going to give him the ability to communicate with it.

“But we don’t have a flag,” Hugh told Adrian. “I’ve heard of the lesbian fl—”

Adrian took a pin of the lesbian flag. “This one.”

“Yeah— but gay men don’t have one.”

“The rainbow is ours,” Simon said, without taking his eyes away from the blue and green flag he was holding. “Like, it’s for all queer people.”

Hugh directed his attention to Adrian again. “You’re messing with us.”

“I do mess with you a lot,” Adrian admitted, “but this time I’m not because if I do and you get mad, you won’t buy me all the stuff I want to get.”

“Huh.”

Simon knew Adrian and Max were a lot of things, but "dumb" wasn't one of those. And Adrian was especially intelligent when it came to convincing his parents to buy him things.

So he decided to believe him.

“Well, I like it,” he said. Then, he asked Hugh: “Do you like it?”

Hugh grabbed one and observed it for a while. “I like that it has blue on it,” he finally answered, nodding a little bit.

Simon noticed Max was spacing out while playing with the pin he had taken, so he waved the flag on his face, making him laugh and sneeze because the damn thing had a lot of invisible dust Simon didn't notice at first.

“Oh, sh—”

“You know? Maybe we should get two of these,” Hugh said, waving it too, but in his case, not on the face of one of their kids. “For our offices.”

“Matching flags, very romantic.”

Max rubbed his nose. “Why don't you get a big one for the house?”

Simon quickly started to look everywhere on that aisle, and he saw a lot of big versions of the flags he had recognized before (and some of the ones Adrian had mentioned), but there were no gay flags in sight.

“Maybe next year, I guess,” he shrugged. “I don't think they have them here yet.”

He grabbed two of the rainbow flags that were there, inside their respective plastic bags, gave them to Max, and he put them on his lap, still holding that pin. Simon made a quick mental note to remind his future self they needed to pay for that (he didn’t know if it had to with the fact that Max had been spending a lot of time with Maggie, Nova’s sister, but he had developed this weird habit of stealing the most random objects one could think of. Luckily, he limited himself to stealing things from his dads and, one time, from a store.) (Kids went through weird phases when they were Max’s age.)

(Because… it was a phase, right?)

Adrian received a text. “Danna says that she already has a flag, so I’m getting her a pin,” he said after reading it. “And Nova says she wants one too.” Then, his whole face lit up. “And I could get one too so we match.”

“Copycat,” Simon accused him, jokingly. “Your dad and I got matching flags, and now you want to get matching pins with your girlfriend.”

Hugh shook his head, disappointed. “I cannot believe you have betrayed your own family like this.”

They stayed at the store another 30 minutes to buy some other things they needed for the house, and from time to time, when he or Hugh grabbed something, they pretended they didn’t see Adrian and said: “Um, but the copycat may be listening” to a point he told them to stop, and refused to forgive them until they agreed to buy him the flag he didn’t intend to get anymore, but now was going to.

He got the last bisexual flag there was at that store.

 ***

The first time the four of them were together in their room was last June. Something went wrong with the A/C system of the entire house and the only room where one could stay without having a heatstroke was theirs because their A/C hadn’t broken down for some reason. Adrian and Max were sleeping on the air mattress until Simon (who hadn’t been able to sleep lately) heard that one of them woke up and asked Hugh something. He sat down on the bed, at the same time Hugh moved a little bit to allow Adrian to lay down between the two of them.

Then, in the middle of the dark, his eyes met Max’s.

He looked tiny. Young. Pretty young.

And far away.

Simon couldn’t remember who did it. He didn’t remember who talked that night. It could have been him, even. But he was sure that, at that moment, someone whispered:

“Get in here, kid.”

And Max obeyed. He crawled, raised his arms towards them, and Hugh grabbed him carefully by the collar of his shirt and placed him between him and Adrian.

It was a peaceful night. The bed was big enough for the four of them, and Simon was able to sleep and actually rest for the first time in weeks.

At least until their A/C turned off with a weird sound, and the four of them woke up at the same time, sweaty, uncomfortable, and almost at 11 AM, not because they weren’t necessarily willing to stay there longer, but because the heat was starting to get unbearable and suddenly the bed was too small for three adults and a little kid that was not that little anymore.

“This isn’t a room, this is a— a freaking oven,” Hugh said, while Adrian tried to push him out of bed to get the hell out of there and seek comfort on the air mattress he had abandoned in the middle of the night.

“And we are the... cookies,” Max giggled.

“The turkey,” Simon added.

Max turned around. His whole face was red and his hair was a little bit wet. “The lasagna.”

Simon grabbed him by the cheeks; a discreet way to check if he had a fever. “The cake.”

“The ham.”

“The—”

“Dad. Move.”

Later that day, Simon called someone to fix the A/C, and that was the end of the story.

When they arrived at the house, Adrian wanted to hang his flag as soon as possible, on one of his room’s walls, but Simon insisted that they should iron it first so it looked nicer. Hugh said that he was planning on ironing the ones they had bought for the house and offered Adrian to do the same with his, but when he insinuated that he didn’t trust him enough not to mess up his flag the same way he had messed up his favorite shirt (the one he wanted to wear to take Nova to a nice place during her birthday), Hugh reminded him that the only reason he kept doing that for him was that Adrian didn’t know how to iron yet, and decided that he was going to use that moment as a teaching opportunity. Max made the mistake of laughing at his brother when he thought no one was paying attention to him, but Adrian was and dragged Max into the teaching opportunity with him.

Simon joined too. Just because.

And suddenly, the four of them were in their room again.

With the A/C on, of course.

He didn't know if Hugh had noticed, but he had been so invested in his own explanation, that after he finished ironing the two rainbow flags, he started ironing Adrian’s without realizing it. Adrian, instead of giving up and stop pretending he was paying attention, was looking, kind of mesmerized, how he opened the bag of his blue, purple, and magenta flag, and proceeded to put it on the ironing board, now telling him that when Georgie had tried to teach him how to iron his clothes, she accidentally burnt Evander.

Simon was half-listening to the story, half-listening to the music video that Max was watching on the TV. He was sitting on a big and old ottoman they had bought a long time ago but had never found the perfect place to put it and just stayed there for years until they forgot about it. Max was in front of him, sitting on the floor and resting his back on the ottoman, while he covered his blond hair with small butterfly hair clips he had found at the store and bought just because he thought they were cute (who knows, maybe Nova wanted them for Maggie, or Kasumi could use them for herself, she loved them when she was little).

When all the hair clips were on Max's hair, he took a small mirror they kept in the bathroom (but Simon borrowed it for a minute) and gave it to him so he could see the final result.

“Look at me,” Max exclaimed, laughing. “I look so pretty.”

Simon grabbed one of the hair clips and pulled it a little. “Butterfly hair clips are a popular trend this time of the year.”

“This is definitely going to make me the most popular kid in the playground.”

“Definitely.”

He leaned forward to start taking the butterfly hair clips off Max's hair and was putting them on Max’s open hand when he noticed that he hadn’t let go of the pin they bought him at the store.

(Simon did remember to pay for the thing, but if he hadn’t done it, Max wouldn’t have said anything.)

“That was really nice of you,” Simon said.

Max looked at him, confused. “What?”

“Getting a rainbow pin—” he took his other hand and started putting the hair clips on it so none of them would get lost “—to show support.”

Max didn't say anything and Simon continued with what he was doing. After the music video finished, and another one started playing, Hugh gave Adrian his flag and told him he could go and hang it in his room, and as soon as Max heard that too, he gave Simon the hair clips and followed his brother out of the room, asking him if he could help him with it.

Simon, after realizing the bag where the hair clips came in had been destroyed by Max punching holes in it with the pin, took one of the empty pill bottles he kept in his drawers and put them there.

He closed the pill bottle and realized Hugh had been gazing at him during all this time, slightly leaning on the ironing board. “What?”

“That’s my pill bottle, Si,” he told him.

“Ah—” Simon pressed his lips “—can I have it?”

“No.” Hugh smiled at him. “Yes, you can.”

“So funny. Come here—” and patted the bed mattress.

Hugh, being extremely careful not to touch the flags he just ironed, lied on the bed and sighed.

“Do you want me to play with your hair?” Simon asked him with a soft voice.

He closed his eyes and nodded.

After a while of the two of them just being silent, he said, “Hey… I heard what you told Max, by the way.”

“The butterfly hair clips trend?”

“The pin thing.”

“What about it?”

Hugh opened his eyes, just a little bit. “Just don't tell Max I told you, all right? Because he told me he wouldn't tell anyone else until he was sure, but… I think it's important the two of us know,” he explained.

Simon was starting to feel his palms get a little bit sweaty. “Okay— but just tell me, please.”

He checked overhearing their conversation one last time, and that the kids were still at Adrian's room. “Max told me a couple of days ago that he has been thinking about… what he likes.”

He stopped playing with his hair for a second. But then, he continued.

It was his way of coping with the feeling of his stomach twisting inside of him. “What he likes?” Hugh nodded again. “Huh. And has he— does he has an idea or—”

“No, he doesn't,” Hugh answered. “He just knows that he doesn't like girls. Or that's what he told me.”

Simon raised his eyebrows and scoffed. “That sounds like a lot of things. Not liking girls.”

Hugh scoffed too. “That's what I told him. And that he can take all the time he needs to figure it out. Because he can—”

“Yes. Yes, of course, he can,” Simon assured, with determination. “Life is longer than we think it is.”

They stayed silent again. And Simon couldn’t help but feel relive inside his head the moment he called Max an ally, feeling his stomach twisting even more at every second it passed.

“I feel bad.”

“Why?”

His palms started to sweat again. “Because I called him an ally.”

“It’s all right. You didn’t know.”

“I shouldn’t have assumed anything.”

“You didn’t know,” Hugh repeated.

But Simon didn’t listen. “Si.”

Then, Hugh grabbed him carefully by the wrist, and, a little bit surprised, Simon tilted his head. Hugh usually didn't interrupt him when he was playing with his hair.

“What's wrong?” he asked.

“No, what’s wrong with you?” he deadpanned

Simon knew him well enough to know he wasn’t trying to be rude. It was just his way of asking things. Especially when he was genuinely worried and didn’t think about modulating his tone so it It fitted the situation better.

He sighed. Because he didn’t want to lie to him. “I assumed Max was straight.”

As soon as he said it, he realized how silly it had sounded phrased like that. But he also noticed his voice had broken and he had to put a hand on his mouth so he didn’t start crying.

And Hugh, instead of saying the encouraging phrase he expected him to say…

He smiled.

And for some reason, that made him want to cry even more. “Ew, why are you smiling?” he asked.

Hugh took his time to answer him. “Oh, it’s nothing.  I think I'm just… happy.”

“Well, I’m not.”

Hugh smiled more. “I know, love, I know… It's just one of those things…” he tried to find the right words this time. “One of those things I didn't think we were going to go through together,” he kept saying. “Like… we're going to be together when Max finally discovers who he really is. Like we did with Adrian. And like other people did with us. And that makes me happy.”

Simon wanted to tell him to shut up and let him cry and be dramatic as much as he wanted because he considered he deserved it. But he tried to do it, the only thing that could come out of his lips was almost imperceptible “Yeah…” and then, a small tear started running down his face. Hugh quickly noticed this and wiped it away with his finger. Simon scoffed and looked away, rubbing his nose.

“Hey…” and he moved aside so Simon could lay beside him.

The space they had was a little too small but he didn’t mind because now he had an excuse to be closer to him.

And there it was again. Little Simon. Little Simon was there again with them.

Just that this time he wasn’t crying, or screaming, or even flickering. He was just… existing.

And all he wanted to do was to exist.  

When Hugh held him that way, sometimes he felt as if it was the first time he did it. Which made Simon (and the sad, angry and scared part of Simon) wonder if there was a sad, angry and scared part of Hugh that also craved that comfort and validation, and if it was the one who hugged that younger version of Simon until they convinced each other that everything was fine.

That there was nothing wrong with neither of them.

Because sometimes it was as if people didn’t remind them that as many times as they needed. So the only option they had was to be there for the other, and tell him that it was okay to hug, to kiss, to touch, and to share until the one who was talking ended up convincing both of them.

Love wasn’t temporary.

And their love was as powerful as they wanted it to be.

Those younger versions of themselves wanted to stay like that forever every single time. But their adult versions knew they couldn’t do it because they had other responsibilities that they needed to attend.

Installing those two pride flags that were next to them, for example.

Their younger versions were excited to do that, but they also asked them if they could rest together a little bit longer. And neither of them had the heart to tell them no.

Hugh started to play with a lock of Simon’s hair. “We’ll be there to catch him.”

He knew he wasn’t talking about either of them. Even if, with his eyes closed, he could see little Hugh and little Simon holding each other’s hands and throwing themselves into the world, a little less sad, and angry, and scared than before, without being sure if there was going to be someone down there to catch them if everything went wrong.

“Together.”

And Simon agreed. “Together.”

 ***

“He’s going to fall.”

Simon rolled his eyes.

“No, he’s not,” Hugh told Max. “I’m here.”

“But what if—”

“Done,” Simon announced before Max could even finish his sentence. “Now, let’s just hope these things stay there as long as possible, because this ladder makes me anxious. I was trembling while putting the first flag.”

Max clicked his tongue. “It’s a windy day. The wind could have pushed the ladder or something.”

Now it was Hugh’s turn to roll his eyes. “Take my hand.”

Simon went down the ladder without letting go of his hand. Then, while Hugh took it and quickly went inside the garage to put it there, Adrian pricked his little brother up with his own rainbow flag pin, and in response, Max punched him in the stomach with all his might (which wasn’t that much). Adrian laughed and pretended to be hurt, but immediately asked him if he wanted him to help him with his pin.

Simon noticed that Adrian had already put his pin of the bisexual flag on his clothes, and watching him pull Max a little bit closer so he didn’t prink him again (now by accident), while Max gazed at his hands, trying to memorize his movements so he could do the same thing when he wanted to wear that pin again, made his mouth curved into a smile.

When his husband came back from the garage, he thought he was going to tell them to stop blocking the sidewalk and get in the house so they could continue with their day. But instead of doing that, he walked towards them and looked at their waving flags, flying on their mansion for the first time in years.

Adrian grabbed Max by the waist and carried him on his shoulders so he could have a better view. And he realized that there would be a day when they would throw themselves into the world completely alone, without knowing how people were going to act and aware that two of them were brave enough to take whatever blows that they were going to throw at them.

But they weren’t going to do it alone. Because Hugh, Simon, and their hurting parts weren’t going to spend a day without reminding them that they were going to be there, ready to catch them every single time they needed it.

Simon started to look for Hugh’s hand just to realize, Hugh was already looking for his too, and when they found each other, he couldn’t contain himself and stood on his tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. Then, Hugh smiled and kissed him back, this time, on the corner of his lip.

Simon felt proud of what they were.

He was really proud.

And he hoped they were proud too.