#I have a habit of criticizing my art lol

[robin-with-a-pen]

Okay now my first ever contribution to this fandom won’t be a Chilchuck ed recovery fic :D

[desperatelyseekingcannibals]

Hannibal? Meeting Mads at RDC6

Following on from meeting Hugh in Boston and gifting him a copy of Adapt. Evolve. Become: The Genderqueer Fandom of NBC's Hannibal, I wanted to gift a copy to Mads.

No disrespect to Mads, but I wasn't expecting (and didn't get) the same sort of interaction I had with Hugh. I've met Mads at many cons before, including one in 2018 right before I had top surgery where I had a lovely chat with him about queer and trans Fannibals.

But I've noticed over the years, including from accounts of other Fannibals too, that he's become much more guarded in his conversations. Which is fair, his star has been forever on the rise and he's been working for bigger studios and properties. But as a trans person, I am always very cautious when people become much less vocal about something they previously seemed to support - though I do acknowledge that some people just don't want to get dragged into what they see as a volatile issue. And I knew, given how much more stoic he's become, and the time limitations of signings at cons, that this would be the case regardless of his personal point of view.

Also (and I've mentioned this before in posts about his answers on con panels), Mads has a habit of just saying what he thinks people want to hear, and what will get the biggest reaction - he's a master at fanservice. Which even includes repeating the same stories (Fragile Little Teacup for example). Which again, is not a criticism, but an observation and another reason why I was pretty nervous about meeting him again. And that was BEFORE a couple of different Fannibals approached me with concerns that some of the things he'd said at RDC6 hinted that he might be making a movie that may include a trans character in an unflattering way. (I'm still on the fence about whether that was his meaning, but I'm glad I'm already pretty emotionally divorced from him since he did FB).

ANYWAY! I had talked with the fantastic wholeanddeadly before the event and we agreed on getting his brilliant "F**k transphobia Grindelwald" art print signed in order to auction it for trans charity (in fact we ended up getting two!). As we knew in advance we would be doing this, I wanted to let Mads know, because I don't feel right auctioning something without someone's knowledge if we had already made that plan.

So, this is what happened:

I was maybe third of forth in the queue (which was huge), so this was going to be a whistle stop and I'd thought carefully how to frame it and use my words wisely. So I walked up and he said "Hello, Sir!"

Which, thanks! (always love getting correctly gendered!)

I asked "May I give you a gift", and he said "Yes, of course!"

Whilst I was getting the book out of my back I told him that I met him in 2018 right before I had gender affirming surgery and he was very kind to me. His response was along the lines of "Oh yeah?"

I continued to tell him that since then, I have been involved a lot with of the trans and non-binary Fannibals and we made this book because of what the show means to us. He took it and flicked through and stopped at some of the art and admired it. He asked if it was just about Hannibal, and I said yes because I totally blanked in the moment, so the HEU stuff will be a nice surprise for him, lol.

Then the art print got passed over by his helper and I said I didn't want him to personalise the photo as I wanted to auction it to a charity that supports trans youth if he's OK with that. And he replied "you can do anything you like with it, man." I said thanks, and we were all done.

Whilst on the surface this was all good, I was definitely struck by the difference between this and times I'd met him before (especially in 2018). And perhaps it was just down to him being more guarded, but it felt very... standoffish. Which is fine, it is what it is.

The funniest thing is that Mads often signs the characters name on the things he signs, and the one we already had signed the day before via a friend, he didn't put the character name on it. On the one he signed for me, he did: Hannibal.

I saw him hesitate part way through signing the name but it just made me chuckle at the potential that this character meant so little to him he didn't recall his name and then the next day confused him for another character - Trans Rights Wizard Hannibal!

Anyway. I hope he reads the book. I hope he gets something out of it. I hope he's not making a transphobic movie.

And I hope you'll all check out @transhanniday on here (and on Twitter), where the two signed prints and some other bits will be going up for auction soon! The proceeds will be going to UK trans youth charity Mermaids, the same charity that Deadly supported with his original art prints.

[e-vay]

Hello hello! How are you? I hope you're well! First of all I must say that I am a huge fan of your art, and you are my greatest inspiration, thank you for that. ❤️

My question is: Do you have any advice for those who are starting to post their art online or are afraid to do so? I have been drawing for many years, literally everyone tells me to share my drawings but it terrifies me! These days I'm drawing a lot and I want to start posting, but I'm still a little afraid. Do you have any good advice?

Thank you so much! That means so much to me ❤️

I think the most important thing to determine for yourself is why you're afraid of doing something (in this case, posting your art online). It's natural to feel nervous about doing something new and worrying about if people will judge you, so that's a totally normal fear and something you can overcome if you choose to address it. But if there's something else in your gut telling you not do something, then you should trust yourself. Don't put yourself or your work online if you aren't comfortable with it, no matter what anyone says!

If you're only feeling nervous because you're worried about what people will think of your drawing skills, I don't think that should hold you back. We tend to be our own worst critics and a lot of people out there (myself included) don't always focus on the technical skills when we're looking at art online. Sometimes we just enjoy great stories or ideas or simply just being able to see the joy that it brought you to draw it. Some of my favorite posts are just little doodles people have done but I can tell they had so much fun with it, it just lights up my heart.

There are always going to be people on the internet with negative things to say just because they have the anonymity to do so. It's hard to shake mean comments off, especially if it's about something you worked really hard on, but it's best to just ignore them and let it go. Chances are it's not actually about you or your work at all, it's just something stupid that the anon did because they were bored.

Personally, I've really thrived as an artist and as an individual since I started posting online back in my deviantART days (god i'm old lol). The good FAR outweighs the bad for me. I get to gush about my hyper-specific interests with people who are just as fascinated by those interests as me, I've made some lifelong friends and I've learned a lot about how to better my art, too. It gave me the courage to share my talent with the world, to the point where I even ended up tabling at several comic conventions and selling my art at local comic shops. I don't think I would have had the confidence to do those things if I hadn't been in the habit of sharing my art online for years.

Again though, if something feels off to you and there's a reason you are avoiding posting, then don't do it. You should never feel pressured to put yourself out there if it risks your mental/emotional health and safety.

Take care and if all you needed was a little encouragement, I hope this helped!

[cygninae]

Hi! 👋 Could you please do 20 and 23 for the Quagmire triplets for the character ask game? :)

Hi Ven ! Sure !!

20 (Weird headcanon)

Quigley

i have literally SO many headcanons for Quigley but I'll try and hold back and only share a few. (I'll refer to Quigley with they pronouns because that is my headcanon !)

if they had been raised in the 2000s, would absolutely have thomas the tank engine or cars bedsheets. so embarrassing

couldn't take serious photos, always had to be pulling a face or doing bunny ears or something

tried to pierce their ears with a safety pin and lemon (did not go well.)

disastrous handwriting. Like incomprehensible.

Isadora

gay awakening was Veronia Lake in I Married A Witch (dir. René Clair)

went through a goth phase (after discovering Mary Shelley and Edgar Allen Poe) where she attempted to dye all of her clothes black. They came out brown.

Duncan

tried to pull a prank on Carmelita Spats by balancing a bucket of water on a doorframe and have her walk through, getting drenched. Forgot to let himself out of the room first and drenched himself.

obsessed with lava lamps

23 (Future headcanon)

Quigley

felt so betrayed by Jacques leaving, that they completely turned away from VFD. Lost a lot of their love for cartography and it took a long time for it to come back. They began to prefer sketching landscapes and people they loved.

discovered David Bowie (this depends on your theory of when ASOUE is set) and he changed their life. Became obsessed with Ziggy Stardust and embraced gender fluidity through makeup, piercings, shiny clothes, etc. learnt to love themself :)

finally got that ear piercing they had botched when they were younger.

actually became really good friends with Fiona. She taught them that it was okay to view the world with more criticism. They got along and were actually really similar. Bickered a lot.

moved to a big city with Duncan and Isadora and got really into the world of music, art, freedom, self-expression. They probably joined a band at some point, no doubt.

Isadora

in the big city, joined a sapphic society and made friends who loved poetry (and girls).

got her poetry published in the paper on multiple occasions, but anonymously. She wanted to spread the beauty of poetry without getting attention for it.

opened up to the idea of writing prose too, and learnt that she was really talented in that area, too, joining writing societies and book clubs and learning so much more about literature. it gave her the opportunity to express herself in more ways than one.

her and Klaus (if reunited) absolutely became an unstoppable best friend duo. They were practically unseperable, and he was in a lot of the same book clubs with her. He worked at one of their local libraries and let her sneak in the back to write in the staff room while he ate his lunch or read on his break.

Duncan

aside from writing journalism, he actually got really into photojournalism. He loved the peace of the dark room and the process of developing photos. He got into the habit of photographing his friends and siblings to immortalise them and kept his favourite pictures in his shirt pocket.

got an internship at a newspaper (NOT the daily punctillio, lol) and had a niche in foreign correspondence, (with the rise in use of the telephone) and he made so many connections across the world. Learning about so many cultures gave him a sense of freedom after feeling so trapped post the death of his parents.

and a dunklaus headcanon, since I can't hold back: after he and Klaus started dating, he would very occasionally sneak coded messages into the newspaper, just sappy stuff saying he missed him and hoped he was having a great day :)

interviewed Lemony Snicket once without knowing it was him.

This was so much fun !! Thanks so much for asking :)

[heartnosekid]

I started making stimboards a while ago, granted I'm not the most frequently active even with a queue, but I greatly enjoy carefully crafting a board, digging up sources for gifs, ... still, I cant stop feeling a bit hurt that I get next to no notes on them. A single board easily takes me 30 minutes to 1 hour, and a recent one got 1 note. That's all. I was so proud of it, and now it feels like it was all in vain, despite the fun it was to assemble. I love seeing you on my dash btw, I love your gifs and boards. But yeah. Did it take you a while too to get a decent amount of notes / followers ? I try my best to use appropriate tags for reach. I dont even do super niche themes. And I tell myself to just keep at it, with enough time and effort I'll have some more followers too. Idk. I was just hoping for some words of encouragement if you can spare some lol

i 100% understand this frustration and i have a few questions for you.

firstly, is there any way you could send me a board of yours so i can see the tags and potentially give some advice about that? it's okay if you would rather not, i understand wanting to maintain anonymity.

secondly, if you did want to send your blog my way, i could potentially reblog some of your stuff and help you gain some traction.

now for some encouragement, i promise your work matters regardless of followers or notes or anything like that. the internet has a sinister way of making us feel as if the only way our work is important, even to ourselves, is if it gets lots of recognition and interactions and clicks. this is wholly false, and a dangerous mindset to get stuck in. (i'm still in it and i hate it. i work so hard to not care about notes but it is so hard, especially when you're raised by a critical voice when it comes to your art.)

i will always encourage you and anyone else to ignore the numbers. i know this is extremely hard to do, especially when you're just starting out and you want to make your work seen and be praised, but i promise it will help build healthy habits in regards to posting your work and not taking the fun or meaning out of it for yourself, because at the end of the day, making art should be for you and satisfy you first and foremost. i made the huge mistake of getting into the numbers game in regards to my work and i regret it every day, quite literally. and yes, it did take a long time for my boards and gifs to start gaining traction. i've had this blog since 2017, i have been making boards since...2019 i think, maybe 2018, and gifs since either late 2019 or 2020, i think, and i didn't start seeing major interactions (1k+ notes) for about two to three years.

if your work is fun and fulfilling to you; if it satisfies your creative nature in a way other things can't, please keep doing it. i promise it is worth it to make the art 100000% self indulgently rather than to rely on attention from others to progress.

much love and support to you, anon. i hope to see some cool stuff from you in the community. <3

[olreid]

So I want to preface this with the fact that I’m being completely genuine here, there’s no gotcha, and that I’ve been an artist of some flavor basically my whole life but mostly I’m a writer of fiction. And. You have your against representation tag. And I’m coming around on the idea that Representation Doesn’t matter all that much, Actually, but jaws and birth of a nation and other works like them are still extant and have/had a measurable effect on our culture. So, that said, combined with that Kurt Vonnegut quote about the Vietnam War and the pie, is there any conclusion I can come to other than “art can’t help, it can only harm”? Is art at best irrelevant to societal struggles, and at worst, can only set us back?

help not birth of a nation AND kurt vonnegut!!

hashtag against representation is definitely not arguing that art is inherently either irrelevant or antithetical to social change; it is not even primarily making a claim about art so much as it is posting against a particular mode of critical reception which posits that art is only successful or acceptable insofar as it portrays a world which is either a mirror to ours and/or aspirational in some way. within this framework, art is pretty strictly utilitarian, and that only insofar as it manages to either reveal something already extant about our world or, more saliently, to set a moral example for how we ought to behave. i really disagree with the idea that art needs to accomplish either of those goals in order to adequately justify its existence, and i think that idea ends up retroactively making some claims about the relationship between art and life that i also disagree with.

namely, i would push back on the implicit claim that audiences can't be trusted with work that is dark or complex or portrays people behaving in ways that are unpalatable, that such work if left to proliferate unchecked would somehow exert nefarious influence over viewers or readers to the point of causing people to confuse depiction or exploration or critical inquiry for straightforward endorsement which of course they would be powerless to resist. idk it goes back to earlier posts about the idea that consuming #problematic media corrupts your soul and rubs off its problematicness on you whereas consuming moral media that has #positive representation conversely purifies you and serves as concrete evidence of your fundamentally good character. which in and of itself is just the latest iteration of the ever-recurring moral panic about the power of art to exert undue influence over us and bypass our ability to reason; see my pinned post for an example from an earlier historical period lol.

i think the vonnegut point you reference is helpful here insofar as he reminds us that while politically charged art can and does influence hearts and minds, it is also not a substitute for taking political action in other forms; representation paradigms and politics would have us conflate the two, such that just watching the right kinds of shows comes to stand in for being politically engaged. and while it may be meaningful or moving for people to see fictional worlds that are diverse along a variety of axes, i don't buy the idea that that automatically translates into structural change in the world we live in, where people can't afford rent or access healthcare or etc.

the point, at least as i see it, is that like. pushing for fictional diversity in and of itself is not going to save us; it blurs the lines between fiction and reality such that people begin to needlessly try and police or purify others' fiction consumption and production habits because they think it tells them something about those same people's political commitments, and imo is also often a drain on collective energy that could be more effectively deployed elsewhere. it's less that Representation Doesn't Matter and more that representation is literally just representation, no more and no less, and certainly not the lever by which we can most effectively bring about social change.

again that's not to say that art has no place in politics or political movements, but i think the relationship is much more complicated than make art where people are good to each other -> people will be good to each other in real life. and even if that WERE the case, it still wouldn’t obligate people to exclusively produce positive or progressive art.

[beebundt]

fwiw that rude commenter is a transphobe, a post a few down on their blog is real blatant (and in that vein I think their comment was less a judgement of your anatomy and more saying Charlie is 'too' muscular/angular)

It's rude and out of pocket REGARDLESS but I also think you're a little hard on yourself! You even said, you hadn't illustrated exactly what you were after with her, and you hadn't intended for a collection of doodles you happened to still like to blow up. You're entirely right that we should all be drawing more than conventionally attractive people, but idk. It's a process and you're a great artist who's working toward it! Don't feel like you have to answer this btw I mostly wanted to let you know that commenter was a double idiot and started rambling. Hope you have a lovely day!!

oh absolutely! i have a feeling you're right abt what they meant considering i saw the transphobic comment they made a couple posts down on their blog lmao but i wanted to add that part anyway. and i appreciate your words a ton, but dw im not hurt or upset! i get a lot of weird comments all the time, i just wanted to use that one as a platform to bounce off of a thought ive been having lately. i wouldn't post a negative remark like that unless i wanted to use it for something. the actual comment was mostly irrelevant to the point i wanted to make, which is also not meant to be super serious, just a thought soup to stir around

and i mean my interpretation of my art as purely objective, i think its important to think critically about yourself and in general. from an objective standpoint, i dont believe the way shes drawn is too out of the norm and is fairly tame (disregarding her ox/bull parts lol), thats basically what i was aiming for with that section. i constantly get stuck in a rut without improving by much because im usually just drawing to doodle after a school day and not rlly with any purpose. i tend to keep drawing the same things out of habit and it gets stale really quickly. so i know my faults and im rlly looking forward to getting better!

also rq, what you said about how we need to draw more than conventionally attractive people- while i do agree with that, in my post i was more saying its important for people to be more open-minded about how they view gender expression and attractiveness in general, myself included! i dont think how i drew charlie was very revolutionary, but ive seen so many tags speaking otherwise. which is either reflective of how small the bubble is for whats acceptable or maybe i have a skewed perception of things? for example if having a bush or something is gender envy we need to look at ourselves. bush is so normal to me. (which i dont if thats what even drew ppl to it BUT. just as an example). would those same people say the same if i drew a very fat woman with a beard, unibrow, etc.? i have no idea. but i have had my eyes opened so many times before its incredible. little things ive never thought about before through new perspective. so thats why i want to encourage it too. i hope that makes sense. thank you so much i hope you have an equally lovely day!! 🫶🫶

[natsmagi]

man as someone who also draws yet tries to be critical with the media and art i follow yeah i agree that artists could learn to draw diverse designs (not targeted to you just a general opinion) and such yet people forget that in the end we don't really own diversity neither representation and the way anons keep harassing you is ridiculous and tiring it makes me sad and i hope it doesn't discourage you.

i love your art, i really love scrolling through your page and see you rant about natsumugi it makes me get even more invested in them plus you draw them so pretty. i'm not even strongly into femstars but the way you draw natsume specifically influenced a bit in my hcs about him because idk it just fits him and perhaps because original natsume is already a bit androgynous this last remark is just a little side note i hope it's not too random lol and the way you draw both natsume and tsumugi makes my little sapphic heart go yippee

WAHHH it doesnt discourage me at all anon dont worry!! i have incredibly lovely friends, mutuals and followers who bring me immense joy and drives me to create even more! these anons are moreso just annoying, but harmless in the end!

and i agree that no artist should be forced to draw X Y Z, specifically if theyre just a hobbyist, but i do wanna say i think more diverse stuff should be greatly encouraged! and by this i mean, if you see someone try their hands at something more diverse that theyre not used to, dont be a dick about how their portrayal isnt good enough, thats just gonna make them want to stop and never exit their comfort zone again. what you should instead do is appreciate that theyre trying! and if perhaps the portrayal is offensive or REALLY misunderstands something, you can give criticisms on how to improve. the reason im still kind of trying to figure out the best way i can depict the tsumugi of my dreams is because many times when ive had people notice shes a bit softer, they get really happy about it! and seeing people be happy makes me happy and makes me wanna learn more! alot of my art is trial and error, i sometimes go back to old habits or stick to what im used to, but in the back of my head i still have a drive to learn and to improve, because people have been so kind to me. and i really wish people would realize its this kindness and uplifting that makes people want to continue learning, to continue improving, to experiment and see what sticks. shaming people for trying wont get you the results you want

AND WAHHHH THANK YOU!!! THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY!!! i love everything about switch SO incredibly much (incase u couldnt alr tell) and i love to just!! gush about them!!!! and i love women too!!! i love to gush about women!!!!!! this blog makes me incredibly happy, and it makes me even happier that i get to share it with such kindhearted people despite the few bad apples here is a little preview of the tsumugi also❤️

[bladesmitten]

ok so i'm going to ask: is pwotr worth playing? i'm asking as a huge bg3/da fan - what's the character creation like (if any), how is the story and are the npcs good? is the battle system comparable at all?

hello ^_^ if you like CRPGs, it's likely you'll enjoy pwotr too! the game often goes on sale on steam so i'd advise you to wait or perhaps visit fitgirl if you wanna try it out first. i wrote a spoiler free Gamer Review™ here but i'll also answer your specific questions:

compared to da and bg3, the character creation in pwotr is massive. there's sooo many choices from the class selection alone! that might be overwhelming, but there's also indicators for which classes are beginner friendly and there are pre-generated builds/characters you can use so you don't have to think about all that.

pwotr is isometric in graphics, like hades and disco elysium, so your character's appearance is more simplified than bg3/da. you'll also choose one of the provided art portraits to represent your character or you can use your own.

the game is text heavy with minimal voice acting so there's definitely a lot of reading. the story itself is compelling to me. the main premise is: you gain mysterious powers and become in charge of an army to close an interplanar rift called the worldwound. you don't need to know much about pathfinder lore to understand what's happening, and there's also a feature where you can hover over certain terms in dialogue and it'll give context as to what it means.

there's 5 acts and a prologue. act 4 has a tonal shift which i personally like. act 5 kiiiinda falls off in terms of pacing, but it's still not as egregious as bg3's act 3 lol.

the companions and NPCs are great! i like most of the companions, they're all complex to me. i might not care for maybe one or two of them but there's also like 12 companions so that's still 10 out of 12. the companion quests are done well imo (except for nenio's, but that's a problem with puzzle design and not her story), and your choices and actions actually matter and have consequences throughout the game. decisions made in earlier acts can and will impact later acts as well as companions' endings :-)

as for the combat -- it's a mix of real-time with pause (dragon age) and turn-based (bg3). you can switch between the two modes with the press of a button, so if the battle is going too slow, just go real-time, and if a fight is too hard, go turn-based for better strategizing. pwotr is based on the pathfinder system, and it has some similarities with dnd so certain terms may already be familiar to you if you played bg3. it's still worth reading what the spells do because they can be different at times.

the enemy encounter/level/puzzle designs leave much to be desired though, and that might be my biggest criticism of the game. there's quite a lot of random encounters that don't really matter. some encounters are way too strong for the current party level so i got into the habit of saving before entering a room just in case my party gets fucked by some optional boss mob 😭 i played on normal difficulty and i fared well up until the end of act 3 where there's a difficulty spike and i turned it down to casual. it might also be helpful to look up guides on youtube so you don't end up like me lol.

this got long so uhh i'll wrap it up by saying i enjoyed pwotr and like i said, if you like CRPGs you'll probably like this one too! :-)

[luphorics]

really wanna get into reverse 1999 bc the aesthetics of it are so neat... i love the art and its v inspiring for my own work KJDJKDS... but my motivation has been ish lately

been also wanting to get into zzz since months ago, but unfortunately idk if i want to anymore since ive been exposed to too much of the negatives from ppl on twitter UGHH. especially w all the jane doe talk and the criticism on her character portrayal + criticism on the nature of the game's narrative itself :sob:

i dont doubt she's probably a much more complex character as maybe with others, i dunno.. DSJKS. maybe ill give it a chance one day

in all honesty tho, my brain can only ever focus on like 1-2 gacha games at a time bc ive had... very horrible spending habits before! lol! JKDSCJKS (alas i still kinda do, but at least i focus it on 1 game rather than like 5) i cant fall into that trench.

also a big reason as to why i cant rotate btwn like more than 2 gacha games like i did before is purely bc of my phone space LMFAO. the moment i had no room for HSR i literally . could not continue. even sadder bc my laptop doesnt have that much storage left either XKCNJDJD

[beesmygod]

Somewhat embarassing writer question- how do you write characters that like screw up so well? I think I sometimes get stuck in a neurotic rut where like I always want characters who aren't The Bad Guy or something to do the right/smart thing or like not make them look bad and realize its probably holding me back writing wise

not embarrassing to anyone but me i think; i honestly take a long time to reply to questions that ask me to explain my process because i get overcome with the waves of sheer terror that come with being in front of a live audience. im know how i read from an external perspective; i represent that contingency of people who position themselves as some sort of authority on taste and/or artistic creation who themselves are only capable of making subpar and shallow works. uhhh like, its embarrassing to be caught thinking so hard about something you do that sucks, if that makes sense. esp when im a v critical person lol. so, like all things, remember that this is one idiots perspective on writing.

anyway:

i understand this problem even if i dont think i succumb to it as much as i used to. i think there are a few avenues to think about this starting with:

are you afraid of audience reaction? this is a common fear i see pop up that i think is very overblown by people who cut themselves off at the knees creatively over the mere concept of being yelled at by an imaginary person. the comforting truth is that not enough people will be reading your comic to find a reason to get mad about it and the people who do read it will be doing it in good faith. and if they do get mad....thats teh power of art babey!

does the bad behavior make sense? it doesnt have to be morally grey or logical, it just has to be COMPREHENSIBLE that someone would do what they did. a reason for an audience to react poorly to a character's choices is because the character's motivations are inscrutable to anyone but the author. if the audience is not privy to a character's intentions, desires, goals, or habits, a bad choice may come off as random and arbitrary. like, you can do that, but you can only do "i did it to be random" so many times before the audience loses patience with the cast and starts to wonder why they should care about people with no sense of self-preservation.

is it important that the character is right? i almost always default to what would be the funniest/more interesting/quickest action depending on what i'm trying to do with the scene at the original time of writing or while making the actual page lol. i only choose the cleanest option when i need to get myself out of a scene for my own sake

i hope this helps. thank you for asking something that made me think

[tumblingghosts]

🍅🧩🏜🪲☁️🍦

Hope not too many for one ask sksk

re: ask game

🍅 — give yourself some constructive criticism on your own writing

i definitely think that my word choice & sentence structure can be pretty clunky because i tend to repeat certain words or phrases all the time. i'm working on adding more variety & changing up my writing style from time to time so i can get some practice with different styles. also, i have a bad habit of changing up sentences bc i don't like how they look -- not necessarily the phrasing, just stuff like not starting a paragraph with 'the' because i don't like how sharp a capital 'T' looks at the beginning of a sentence.

🧩 — what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

it honestly depends on my mood! i'm not too bothered by formatting or grammar, but if a plot doesn't really vibe with how i'm feeling (e.g. seeking out humor fics & finding a very plot-dense introspective one), then i'll usually click away. it doesn't mean the story is bad or anything -- just that it's getting put on a read later list for when i'm feeling like reading it. i basically click away from any fic i'm not in the current headspace for & save it for later.

🏜 — what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

i love getting long comments -- def super happy whenever i see those. i am very grateful for any kind of comments tho! it's very sweet knowing that someone took the time to stop by and drop a string of emojis or write out a few sentences <3

🪲 — add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here

Marcus can be saved. If there is one thing that Sejanus believes in, it has to be that. If Sejanus could simply be strong enough, quick enough, clever enough—maybe Marcus could live this time. If Sejanus could become enough, then perhaps Marcus would not be here at all. But over and over and over again Sejanus learns that it is not nearly so simple, that a life lost and regained and broken and undone would remain so, no matter how many turns he is granted to try just one more time. And another. And again.

☁️ — what made you choose your username?

it's kind of lame tbh -- the "tumbling" part was literally just bc i was signing up for tumblr, and i carried that over to when i was making an ao3 account. "ghosts" just bc of the profile i had selected (which is from chibird -- there's a lot of very cute and motivational art there & i highly recommend checking it out). i can't remember why "backpacks" was chosen though... i might have just been mashing nouns together at that point lol

🍦 — name three good things about a character you hate

ooo this is hard bc i can't think of a character i necessarily hate? either i like a character, or i'm indifferent. maybe coriolanus snow (though i do have a lot of fun writing from his pov) bc his mindset & the way he views others is very ehhhh.

but i digress -- three good things about him are 1) he's intelligent (he was very good at utilizing his charm and wit to pave a path for himself), 2) he's very driven (he's incredibly ambitious and motivated towards his goals), 3) he's funny (his pov, if nothing else, is incredibly entertaining)...too bad none of those things could make him choose to be a good person :/

thanks for the ask! :D

[skinnytuna]

there's a certain stubbornness to my approach to art.

i'm always trying to improve, trying to make something that's better than the last, but there are clear shortcomings i have no interest in fixing. in music, for example, there's an arms race. and this arms race takes many forms, be it plugins, guitar tone, composition, or just a general vibe.

it's competitive. and there's a clear, visible delineation between the people competing and the people not competing. a lot of people in my life are competing. they're always hunting for a sound no one else has their hands on yet. to be honest, this competition doesn't interest me at all. it bores me, and it sets you up with this constant win/loss dynamic depending on where your arsenal stands relative to everyone else's. it makes me uncomfortable to participate in. so i, either deliberately or just due to being a creature of habit, resist upgrades at every turn. i will use the oldest shittiest tools i can for as long as they last, and begrudgingly upgrade when i have literally no other option.

but even an an out-opter of this race, it still feels like failure to not participate. oh my god. did you hear that one part of that essential mix. how the fuck did he make that sound. i don't know man. i thought we left the "technical skill = good" argument in the 70s. you'll often see people who find themself winning try to scratch their way out of the competition as soon as possible, too. skrillex left the vocoder growl --the sound that made him famous-- in the past after only a handful of tracks.

it's also possible that all of this is in my head. i still seek growth… through feeling, through structure, maybe others just seek growth through tools and HOLY FUCK!s instead. i'm well aware i have a tendancy to seek complex patternic explanations for my own inadequacy complex. it's also true that the amount of validation you receive is not necessarily correlated with how good of a job you are doing. the landscape is very chaotic, and oftentimes the simpler and less expert art is what connects because it's closer in proximity to the brain of a consumer.

i often think of what sort of life i would be leading if i had devoted my life to illustration rather than writing and composition. if i would grapple between integrity and accessibility, if my fanart blowing up would make me depressed in relation to my unloved original stories. if i would find myself frustrated that my technically gifted allies couldn't find an audience next to my memey dysgraphic catscratches. if i would come up with a whole neurotic structure in my mind, of the way the game works, of the way i don't fit within it, of the way everyone else knows what they're doing and i don't. i wonder if people who are equally devoted to two things find themselves understanding the world better. a formatiel bilingua. another wall to synthesize between. maybe if i care about writing enough i'll learn the answer myself.

really it all comes down to narcissism. i have somehow convinced myself that, if i maybe try a little bit, not exceptionally hard, but only a little bit, maybe i will somehow magically be good enough and worthy of critical praise. lol! how bold! how entitled! you think you could be better than people who bled and cried for it? who dedicated every waking moment? who didnt spend the first 15 years of their life playing call of duty? by doing fucking nothing? you should be so lucky.

whatever happened to me that made me like this i sure don't seem to have any way to fix it. since basically the moment i discovered i can make whatever i want with a computer i have not stopped or slowed down and as a matter of fact it has probably gotten worse this decade than any other. i'm doing better in my real life at least.

what was i talking about, again? oh yeah, systems.

i still think, on the whole, there is something radical about art made with very few man-hours behind it. if we know being world-class at something requires time and money and being in the right places and having the right people around you, why is it valued as inherently good? is it not spitting in the face of the structure to hit the cello with a hammer? im a junkie for bad art, i try to walk as perpendicularly to the line of objective quality as possible. oh this extremely coveted painting is just a black canvas? tight. okay maybe the millions of dollars in laundered money being passed around to exchange ownership of it isn't tight… you know what i mean. i think thats why i like friend art so much. or things that have big nasty warts on them to scare away anyone who grew up on pristine, 40 person projects being churned out by industries who stand to profit.

the arms race to me is an idealism. an appeal to the systems that say effort = good. inaccessible = good. difficult = good. if you suffered more its more better. well fucking maybe i dont like suffering. sue me. whatever.

[taciturnpoet]

I’m gonna vent here for a bit so you can ignore this lol, it’s mostly because I’m proud of myself. I’m simultaneously unhappy with my art and simply happy I created something at all today.

With the exception of the anderperry post-its, I haven’t made basically any art in months—maybe even a year now—that I’ve been even remotely happy with. I’m a perfectionist and overly critical of myself, and I have a bad habit of getting frustrated and quitting something if I can’t get it perfect on the first try. The catch to this is that it means I never practice and I never get better because of that. It’s terrible.

Comparison is another thing I do far too much of. Seeing artists that I love is sometimes difficult when I believe I can’t get even remotely close to that and so I just. Stop. I’ve done this so many times even though I am fully aware that this doesn’t help at all.

But, today I made two pieces that I actually kind of like, and I realize what made that. I kept working on them until I was happy, regardless of whether I thought they were “perfect” (I don’t) or exactly what I was envisioning (they’re not) but I still made them! I finished them even!! And while that might not seem like much, it’s an improvement and that’s all that matters to me. I realized how much I missed drawing and painting today, and I just hope I can do it more regularly without quitting again.

[dirt-grub]

Saw the new Futurama episode! Gotta say, was pretty good. I wasn’t blown away but I wasn’t disappointed, and the writers were careful to not let their age show too much lol, that was my (and a lot of other people’s) criticism with late seasons of Futurama but yeah it was current and tactful. The satire was apt and a few jokes made me chuckle out loud. I muse on for a little more under the cut but yeah, excited to see more from writers I actually respect lol

I appreciate that Fry’s boomer brain is what saved him in the end. It’s mostly a joke that haha look Fry suddenly reads but in all seriousness it communicates how easy it actually is to get out of the constant stream of drivel content we experience from all angles, and the deceptive dopamine loop it traps us in. Like, I have arguments constantly with a lot of my irls about how they need to have better standards, because we waste so much of our lives and time filling it with useless noise.

There’s plenty of good art out there that does deserve your attention and you also aren’t going to die if you’re not “consuming” media for five seconds. I’m not perfect, much like 90% if not 99% of Americans my literacy has gone down the shitter since grade school, and I still give my time arguing about or wasting my attention on things that don’t deserve it. Truly though there was a time before The Endless Content Stream and if we want to preserve our brains we need to go back to it.

What WOULD have brought this to like a 10/10 is if they elaborated a little bit further on how the state of capitalism is the drive for all of this; they touch on it with the executive robots (which I just love, glad to see them make another appearance. Whenever they’re on screen I know the jokes are on point) but it’s a little accidentally deceptive having Leela (aka person who demands constant content) be the driving force behind the decision.

Futurama and the Simpsons have the center-left habit of assuming the population is lazy and demanding rather than stuck. This is a roundabout way of saying capitalism bad and that I’d love to spend more time outside and doing enriching new activities, but I have 8 hours to burn every single day in order to pay my overinflated rent. I, like many others, can’t do anything engaging in that time because work could suddenly demand me, so I resort to listening to something on my phone. (And, like a huge population of Americans, my job is tedious and not that demanding in reality- it’s only demanding because employers want to break you by not allowing bathroom breaks or sitting or whatever.) There is truth to the allure of laziness though- there’s something stopping me from going outside, but there’s nothing stopping me from reading a book.

So yeah. In conclusion, good Futurama episode. Also cool they cut Leela’s hair for the lesbians in the audience lol

[al-the-remix]

🦷🌿🍅

🦷 share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on:

I hate to sound like a boomer, but there is no foul mood i've been in that hasn't been improved by going for a walk. Like yeah it won't cure your major depression, but being in the sun and looking at the birds will it will make living slightly more bearable for at least half an hour.

🌿 give some advice on writer's block and low creativity:

If you're struggling with writing (or pursuing any form of art) I think most people would benefit from doing their best to make it a habit instead of something you only do when you're ""feeling creative"". Give yourself a reachable daily goal and time limit but don't feel like you have to hit it and if you don't you've failed. The most important part is having a quiet moment to reflect on your writing with no distractions. This could be 50 words or 2000 words, half and hour or three hours, the most important part is making it manageable and adaptable as part of your daily routine. For instance if my goal is 2000k for the two hours i have to write in the morning if i hit that goal specifically that's great, but also if i've only written 50 words and maybe those words aren't even final prose, it doesn't matter because i've spent those two hours solving problems and learning more about my work. And i know if i do this every day there will be a day down the road where i'm really on a roll and end up writing over 2000 words and everything evens out in the end. The one exception I have to this is that if you've been working and working on something for a while now and what you previously written and loved now feels terrible and bland it probably means you need to step away for a bit and come back to your work later with fresh eyes. Allowing yourself a break can really help with solving problems, especially in the editing phase. The point is to not beat yourself up so much over "producing" or "not producing" that you end up burning yourself out. Instead try and make writing (or drawing or whatever) a sustainable and enjoyable part of your life.

🍅 give yourself some constructive criticism on your own writing:

I definitely still struggle with my prose when it comes to deciding how much detail to include and when. But also self-critique is so hard because it's like the most subjective thing. I love details and I feel like sometimes I can get sucked into the spiral of "and then he did this and then he felt this and then his heart fluttered" but then when I try and self correct I get the newspaper roll to the head from @sevenfists for not applying enough emotional exposition. Or I'll think I'm failing at conveying the emotional elements of the story when actuality that parts fine and there is something else in there I could improve on. Really the best thing you can do is find someone you trust and who has similar opinions on what they need out of a narrative as you do, and let them to critique your work and beta read because they're going to have a much better objective eye than yourself, lol.