#I have more thoughts about the book and musical productions specifically as well

[kuuyandere]

please, talk about the phantom of the opera! as a kid, i was so obsessed with the 2004 movie that i wrote fanfiction and drew fanart of it. — dream anon

That is amazing, I would love to see your work if you are willing to share it. I first watched it when I was about 6-7 years old, so no doubt that rewired my psyche to what it is today. I project(ed) onto Erik an unfortunate amount: not necessarily/completely the version of him from the 2004 film, but Gerard Butler’s Phantom certainly won in the costume department compared to the stage productions.

I could gush about the lair aesthetics and outfits (although it may not be the most historically accurate) of the movie for the rest of time. I am tempted to rewatch the film for the sole purpose of taking screenshots for reference. The Phantom’s dark ensembles at any given time? I am envious. Christine’s ball gown in “Think of Me”? Gorgeous. The transition at the beginning with the Overture and switch from black and white to colour? Unparalleled. If I could ever afford a house, I would love to decorate it in the lair’s maximalist style minus the abundance of candles/fire hazards.

Have you ever watched the 1990 miniseries of POTO by any chance? It’s unaffiliated with Andrew Lloyd Webber’s musical and deviates from the original plot somewhat, but it is tender and heart-wrenching and highly recommended.

[writerblue275]

Heartsteel love language headcanon (Giving and Receiving)

Inspiration: I was thinking about this because we were discussing the idea in the book club I’m a part of. So I thought about me and that led me to think about what Heartsteel’s love languages would be!

Champions: Heartsteel

Genre: Headcanon

Type: FLUFF

Gender: Gender Neutral Reader!

TW: None!

Aphelios

Giving: Words of Affirmation

Now some of you might be giving me side-eye, but hear me out. This is both verbal and non-verbal.

We know he canonically can speak, just not loudly and he doesn’t talk super often. Now I still believe he’d primarily communicate in a way that’s non-verbal, such as sign language, in order to not overwork his vocal cords.

Because of this, anytime Aphelios speaks, you want to fucking listen to him. When he says something, you know it’s something important. He doesn’t waste his voice on just anything. It’s too precious for that.

But lucky you, he never finds talking to you a waste. He loves using what voice he does have to give you all the lovely affirmations/compliments you could ever ask for. He will make sure his love for you is known.

And he doesn’t have to use his voice either. You will absolutely get random texts throughout the day, or find sweet little notes in your pocket/bag. Any card you receive as part of a gift or something just has such sweet words written in it. I can also see Phel leaving notes on your mirror (either in dry erase or on a post-it) to make you smile.

The biggest hype man when you meet your goals/achieve something you’ve been working hard towards. And he’s genuinely excited about it too. He’s really so happy for and proud of you and he makes sure you’re aware of that. Phel always just wants to make you smile and let you know, despite his busy and bizzare schedule, he loves you very much and you’re extremely important to him.

Receiving: Quality time

Aphelios loves when you and him have some alone time together. In the hustle and bustle of being a member of an extremely popular group, his mind can get really chaotic. But then he sees you and it’s like a switch gets flipped.

You calm him down like no one else can. You don’t even have to do or say anything specifically. Phel is a big fan of companionable silence (big same, my guy) and of “being alone together” with you (if that makes sense.) Though of course he is also a big fan of you cuddling him and chatting about whatever.

Sometimes you’ll bring work over to his studio and work on that while he’s writing/recording his compositions. You always make sure to bring snacks/meals and caffeine for him and he always stops to enjoy the food with you and listen as you talk about your day. You’re one of the few people who can easily pull him away from work no matter what.

When both of you get back to work, you may barely say a word to each other, but it doesn’t matter at all.

He’s more productive when you’re with him in his studio and he also takes better care of himself. You’ve received texts from Alune and calls from Yone asking you to just move into his studio permanently. (Of course they’re joking, but they do love the positive influence you have on Aphelios, his music, and his well-being.)

He just loves being in your presence, knowing you could be anywhere in the world if you wanted to be, but here you are, with him, loving him. It makes his heart really happy and light.

Ezreal

Giving: Physical Touch

I feel this is one of the more obvious ones, but Heartsteel Ezreal just gives off the vibes of someone who is very physically affectionate.

That’s not a bad thing. He’s just absolutely the type to come up behind you and give you a hug and nuzzle your neck. This won’t be any surprise though. His love of physical affection is demonstrated early on in your relationship through linked pinkies or a hand always on you in some way.

Dare I say, clingy (in a good way though). He just loves touching you. Doesn’t matter if he’s working, he can get creative. Like he’s absolutely flashed in front of you during a concert to give you a wink and get a high-five. Ezreal loves how pink your cheeks get and how wide you smile at him. (Ideally he’d love to give you more attention but he knows Alune and Yone would kill him if he got too extra.)

You’ve received post-show texts from Kayn that say something along the lines of: “For fuck’s sake, (Y/N), can you please get back here already so your puppy can finally give you the “proper amount of attention” he’s spent the past 15 minutes rambling about? I’m about to tape his mouth shut so I don’t vomit.” (He’s 95% joking. All of Heartsteel loves how happy you make Ezreal, but they can only handle so much post-show adrenaline-filled gushing.)

Him having that physical connection with you is his primary way of letting you know he’s there for you and that you’re important to him. When you’re with him, the two of you are always touching some way some how. As I said, some of his favs are linked hands/fingers. He also loves having his arm(s) around you or his head on your shoulder/lap.

It really doesn’t matter though. All that matters is that he feels you next to him.

Receiving: Words of Affirmation

I feel like Ez is the type of guy who definitely wants to hear you say you love him as often as possible. He will never get tired of hearing you say those words to him.

I do think some of this stems from his past. Having spent time in the public eye for such a long time, and unfortunately being heavily critiqued after he failed to follow up his first solo hit with success, that’s made him doubt himself and his abilities at times.

Imposter syndrome can really be a bitch (I know it well). Unfortunately, it’s made moments in his life difficult, especially since this original scrutiny happened when he was younger, during a critical developmental period for someone growing up. (Ezreal is only in his like early-early mid twenties, y’all. Shit happening during/before that can really leave an impact.)

Hearing you say how proud you are of him, or even if you just compliment him on something small (like the watch he chose to wear for the day or how good his hair looks), well that means everything to him.

You love how his face lights up whenever you compliment him or tell him something sweet. His adorable crooked smile is like concentrated sunshine.

One of your favorite things to do is leave sticky notes on his mirror that just say sweet things like “I love you, Ez!” Or “Looking good, handsome!” He always makes sure to take a selfie with each post it note when you do because he loves seeing them as much as you love putting them up there. It’s your favorite part of the day, getting your daily selfie from him with your note in it.

One time Alune told you the story of how Ezreal turned into a fountain of tears and wouldn’t stop talking about how much he loved you when you had flowers and a really sappy note (detailing how much you love him, how proud you are of him, how you’ve always believed in him/his talent, and thanking him for allowing you the honor to be by his side and support him through this amazing journey) delivered to him before Heartsteel’s first concert. He has the original card framed and he takes a copy of the note with him when he goes on trips. He reads your words before every single performance as part of his pre-show ritual.

Kayn

Giving: Physical Touch (TBH I feel like touch is just very slightly over words of affirmation for Kayn. At least for giving.)

You know what, I think Kayn is similar to Ez a little bit. Just another member who I can see being physically affectionate with his partner.

HOWEVER, I think how Kayn expresses his physical affection is different than Ezreal. Unlike Ezreal who I see as being very overt with physical affection, I see Kayn as someone who is just slightly more low-key.

Now that’s not to say he’s not going to express that in public. He absolutely will. But with Kayn I see more: hand in your back pocket while you’re in line, hand on your thigh if he drives (he’s figured out that’s the only way you’ll tolerate his driving), arm sliding around your waist whenever he steps next to you, hand slowly slipping into yours.

The sort of touches that leave you blushing and biting your lip. The ones that leave you a little breathless. (Not saying Ez can’t do those. I fully believe he can. But there’s just really something about Kayn’s punk/bad boy energy that has me like…😳 and 😏 at the same time.)

He’s a BIG fan of kissing. Like you cannot convince me otherwise. Like yeah his hands can do some of the talking, but kissing you is his favorite way to show he loves you.

(Lord help me I could do a whole headcanon for Kayn kisses alone, I feel like. I have THOUGHTS.) Anytime you want a kiss, you get a kiss, no questions asked. And the way he kisses you indicates a lot for how he’s feeling.

Sleepy Kayn? Forehead, nose, cheek kisses (shhhhhhh he has a soft side. Don’t tell anyone). Needy Kayn? He’s either kissing you completely breathless or he’s leaving hickeys somewhere on you. Otherwise, even if he’s just walking past you to get to another room, he will always stop to give you a kiss hello. And even those sweet quick kisses hello leave you feeling just LOVELY.

Receiving: Words of Affirmation (again I was between this and physical touch, but unlike giving where physical touch wins, I think receiving, words of affirmation win.)

Again, similar to Ez, I think a lot of this stems from his pre-Heartsteel past. Kayn got kicked out of his old band and got a not-great reputation in the media. Like there’s no denying that sucks and that sort of criticism can really fuck with a person’s mind.

So when you compliment him, you say you’re really proud of him, or when you tell him how great he was after a show, he eats that shit up with a SPOON.

And Kayn might try to play it off as not a big deal, but every time you tell him you love him, you can’t help but notice how happy and content he looks. As if all is right with the world. (Listen this might be a tad cheesy but let this rockstar get some genuine fucking love and praise here please.)

I’ve mentioned before in my pet names headcanon (HERE) that I think some pet names really mean something to Kayn. Like when he calls you sexy (ex: “Hey, sexy, how was work?”) it’s his way of affirming to you that he finds you sexy. Same if he calls you beautiful or hottie or whatever.

So when YOU call HIM those sorts of pet names, it means something to him. He takes it as affirmation you still find him to be sexy/handsome/etc… Also let’s be real, the man put in work to get the body he has. You can feed his ego a bit on this.

Another one who secretly keeps any cards or notes you give him. If he’s ever feeling bad about himself or really nervous and he can’t talk to you, he’ll start reading through his stash and it always helps. Knowing you love him and believe in him really shoves the demons away.

Though let’s be real here, nothing compares to hearing you say sweet things to him in person (or over the phone).

K’Sante

(The number of times I changed my mind on his love languages omfg. We’ll talk a little more about receiving first in this one)

Giving and receiving: Words of affirmation

A lot of this has to do with K’Sante’s pre-Heartsteel backstory, as well as his base-lore character. (I know this is for HS K’Sante, but they kept some traits from his base character [The Pride of Nazumah] that I think really feed into this.)

K’Sante is a very proud man. He’s a very ambitious man. It doesn’t matter whether that pertains to music, to fashion, to design, to fitness, etc. whatever he’s doing, he puts his all into it.

And when you put your all into something, naturally there’s some desire for someone to acknowledge the effort you put in, as well as appreciate the result of all that effort. And while he gets that from the fans, the media, other places, none of that approval means more to him than your approval.

He feels your love whenever you tell him how handsome he looks in the new design he brought to life or text him about a photo in the media and compliment him. Whenever you’re the first one to notice when he’s changed his hair. Whenever you cheer him on as he’s doing reps. Whenever you comment on how amazing his part of their new song is.

Hearing/reading (for texts) your pride in, support for, and love for him allows him to stay ambitious and to keep driving for more and he’s so grateful for you. He definitely realizes outside of HS, you are what helps keep things steady.

And while you are super proud of him, he’s ALSO super proud of you and he’s definitely not afraid to let you know that.

I feel like it’s very difficult to have low self-esteem regarding your looks when you’re with him. K’Sante will compliment you out the wazoo. When you look fine he’s making sure you know you look fine (which to him is always). I also feel like he’d use you as a muse for his designs, which is like a massive compliment.

And if you’re nervous about something, K’Sante is such an excellent hype man. He’s reminding you why you are so amazing and that your personal strengths are perfect to get you through whatever is being thrown at you.

Along the same vein, I feel like K’Sante would be the best person to go to for advice. He seems extremely thoughtful with what he says and I feel like he knows exactly what to say to make you feel better about things. (I mean shit we know other members already go to him for advice, he’d absolutely give you, his partner, advice as well.)

And when you achieve something? He is celebrating as much as if he accomplished it himself. He’s very proud of you. “What did I tell you, baby! I knew you could do it!”

Definitely brags about you and your achievements, at least to Heartsteel. He’s just so fucking proud of you and he can’t keep that to himself! That’s a disservice to you! I feel like he’d at least ask and make sure he could tell other people about your achievement though.

(Hehehe this makes me imagine: You know he’s been bragging about you again because you receive random texts from the other members congratulating you on something you’ve recently accomplished.)

This big guy is just a man who really enjoys telling you he loves you (as well as what he loves about you) and loves to hear you say it back (as well as what you love about him).

Sett

Giving and receiving: Acts of Service

A lot of this stems from being raised by a single mother after his father just up and left (shoutout to the single parents out there. Y’all are incredible). Sett would do anything to try and make Ma’s life easier. We know he’s the best cook of the group and I bet he learned how to cook pretty early on.

I imagine Sett also quickly learned sewing and other household tasks for the same reason. It just hurt him to see his mother so damn tired and stressed after working multiple jobs to try and make ends meet. He wanted to do what he could to help. That desire to make things easier for the people he loves hasn’t gone away as he’s grown up. If anything, it’s gotten stronger. (God damn Ma raised him so well 😭.) He shows this type of love in many different forms, starting with simple ways. He’ll always open the door/car door for you. He’ll walk on the side closer to the street. Always offers an arm to you when going down stairs. He’s happy to carry any bags for you.

Of course Sett just as easily does more in-depth acts of service. Mending clothes you love that you thought couldn’t be fixed. (God I love Sett loving to sew.) Happily teaching you to sew when you ask him. Cooking dinner whenever he can (he loves trying out new things, but even more so, he loves showing you the meals of his childhood). Ma always cooks with lots of love and that’s a quality she passed down to her son. He also loves spoiling you through his actions (think surprise bubble baths/face masks/massages/etc.) just because he wants to and he thinks you deserve to be spoiled.

Sett would literally run through a brick wall if it would make your life easier in the short and long run. You make him so happy. He loves you so much and making sure you’re happy and well taken care of is the least he can do, in his mind.

On the receiving end of things, anything you do for him, whether small or big, Sett appreciates more than you know. Whether it’s bandaging his knuckles after a particularly intense bout with a punching bag or making sure his keys and water bottle are in their proper spot by the door so he doesn’t forget them, these seemingly small things mean the world to him.

And when you do “bigger things” like fix his sewing machine that he hasn’t had time to take to the repairman, or reseason his cast-iron cookware? You’ve got Sett ready to propose on the god damn spot. You organized his spare fabric swatches by color and it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen (besides you). He would not stop thanking you for the rest of the week.

When you make dinner and prep a plate for him to heat up once he gets home really late from a long day? It doesn’t matter if he’s the better cook, to him, this is the best meal he’s ever tasted. And when you stay awake late and help him into a warm bath/shower? It’s adorable to see your massive and jacked boyfriend turn into putty under your gentle ministrations. He especially loves when you wash his hair and play with his ears.

Along the same vein, he loves when you come greet him after a bout of boxing with his little medical bag. You always look him over carefully, running a quick concussion check, cleaning anything that needs to be cleaned, and wrapping anything that needs to be wrapped. He’s so appreciative he doesn’t even flinch when you’re cleaning out a cut with antiseptic.

You really know how to love him so well and he’s ready to receive ALL OF IT and love you back the same way.

Yone

Giving and receiving: Acts of service

Yone is another member who I think both gives and receives love the same way and that is through acts of service.

Whenever you bring him a meal or coffee, or just drag him away from his monitors for a brain break, that’s when he feels your love the most. When you bring food he appreciates anything you bring him, but the stuff he finds the most delicious are the things you make yourself. It doesn’t matter if you’re not the best chef.

Something that’s small but he really really loves is when you brush out and braid/play with his hair. Besides a hair stylist, you’re the only one he lets touch his hair.

He knows it’s not easy to love him considering his profession, so the fact you take the time and do these things for him? You take the time to make his life easier? Well it makes him melt tbh. (You are one of the very few lucky souls who gets to see soft Yone. You lucky fucking duck.)

His schedule is wacky, he’s often stressed due to deadlines, and his celebrity status makes date nights or just walking around in public a difficult adventure sometimes.

And because Yone knows being in a relationship with someone of his profession and status is difficult, he really tries to make it up to you and return your acts of service with his own, just to show you you’re always on his mind and that he really he loves you too, even if he can’t always be there to show you.

For example Yone always keeps things neat and tidy (a dream really) and he knows you well enough (I mean duh) that he knows where everything of yours goes, so you’re never shocked when you find your shared bedroom and bathroom perfectly clean and all your things exactly in their spots. You only wonder when he had the time?? (He just chuckles when you ask him.)

Whenever he’s not stuck at work, he’s incredibly sweet and helpful, doing all sorts of little things that just make day-to-day life so much easier.

You wake up after Yone and like coffee? Every morning he makes sure the maker is programmed to have a cup ready for you when you wake up. You cooked? Great! He’s got dishes no problem. You decide to clean a room? He’s either helping you do it or hey, pick any other room for him and he’ll clean that one.

And this doesn’t just stop at like day-to-day living things. If you come home stressed, before you know it you’re sitting in front of him, fresh out a steaming bubble bath, while he massages your shoulders/back and listens to you ramble about what has you so tense. His definition of acts of service definitely include things that spoil you.

Why do I feel like he makes a surprisingly good breakfast? I think he’d enjoy making a whole breakfast in bed meal for you, especially on a birthday or anniversary, but also sometimes just because he wants to surprise you.

Yone’s definitely a gentleman whose actions speak far louder than any words he could ever say.

[darlinguistics]

'its just IMPOSSIBLE to not be addicted to your phone nowadays its UNREALISTIC-'

heres some advice to being less chronically online. for gen z (and younger??) who dont even know how to start thinking about it and have only heard shitty advice from older adults who just genuinely do not get it, from a fellow gen z and my experiences so far.

*these are personal and may not all 100% resonate but its still good prompting to start thinking about things! PLEASE feel free to add your own stories/advice in the notes! support your fellow humans, dont gatekeep what youve learned, lets have these conversations! and no negativity/pessimism please <3

first thing is to make it a less scary thought, a more concrete idea and not a hypothetical. it doesnt have to be all-or-nothing, cold turkey, a huge announcement and a fundamental shift in your personality. the internet will be in your life for the rest of your life, this is an ongoing relationship you are trying to make healthier thats all! and it takes one step at a time and some self-compassion, but a true effort nonetheless. 'dont you think thats a bit too serious-' if youre my age you quite literally grew up and developed online, it is literally part of your psyche the way your childhood is, it IS serious, you deserve to treat it seriously.

dont save your login info/dont stay logged in for social media accounts, having to manually log in when you want to go on like youre on some elementary school chrome book is a really healthy and clear boundary to have between being logged off and logged on.

-> bigger challenge - uninstall it on your phone in general, only log on on your laptop/pc if applicable for you!

if youre motivated to, try to work on your posture too. i only say that because most of our bad posture is at least partially related to being on our phones a lot, and when i started wanting to fix my posture, completely separately and unrelated from trying to break my phone addiction, it made it easier to lose interest in my phone since i didnt want to ruin my progress with my posture. it made me start to have a mindset like 'well if you cant do this on your phone with good posture then dont do it' and 'if youre on your phone so long your posture starts to cave in, youve probably spent too long on your phone anyway'

listen to music more. its easier for me to kinda write off my phone and do other things if i just open music or a podcast or long youtube video on it. i know we all love long video essays, but i recommend music more specifically for me at least because im less inclined to pause music or scroll while listening to it for some reason? whereas using a show or video or podcast for white noise, im way more likely to also be scrolling on my phone and that is my activity lol. music for some reason i dont want to interrupt and instead of being on my phone i can clean or do something productive on my computer etc

this one is sooo hard but try to fall asleep with some distance between you and your phone, even just a couple feet. mine stays on the desk next to my bed which isnt that far but its better than on bed like it used to be. when you wake up you probably wont feel like reaching for it right away if its far and even better if you have to get up for it because then at least you stand and move your body first thing instead of looking at your phone first thing. and try to get more and more of your morning routine done before touching your phone over time.

-> for me, i started by just trying to at least wake up a bit in bed before touching it, then stand up before touching it, then stand and stretch, then going to the bathroom first, making coffee first, feeding the cat first, etc. its surprisingly helpful to have a specific chore/task in mind that is The requirement so that everytime you do it you get a lil dopamine rush for unlocking your phone from yourself lmao. when the weather was nice i used to make my Requirement being outside first before going on it and i LOVED that. esp as it got easier and i started doing more and more before going on it and finally walking outside with coffee and my phone felt like such a pleasant little reward.

find a hobby that uses your hands. example: i really need to get back into knitting because when i did it regularly so much time that wouldve been on my phone was spent knitting with music/podcasts/shows/(even online lectures! when i felt productive lol) playing. its the same amount of physical relaxing - barely moving lol - but uses a longer attention span and a much better dopamine hit than scrolling, i literally MADE things.

-> you might be thinking, 'but mindless knitting isnt better than mindless scrolling is it?' but that mindless feeling on your phone is just that, mindless. the mindless feeling you get when doing something like knitting is actually closer to a flow state, which is actually incredibly good for you, like a fulfilling nutritious meal as opposed to 'empty calories' or whatever

get a widget for your homescreen that shows your screen time. i have one and of course it doesnt always stop me but seeing that time go up all day the more i use it and the pride of keeping it low is really helpful

practice grounding. in general.

spend more time on anonymous activities and have more privacy and less attachment with your 'persona' - what i mean by that is, i consider things like scrolling through tumblr (for me personally!) to be relatively harmless because i dont try to like,, brand myself here. if youre a tumblr regular you know the jokes - 0 follows, 0 notes, screaming to the void, moots you dont talk to, blorbo pfp and urls, fake names everywhere, and we're having fun! basically targeting the 'everyone is famous now' thing with this one - embrace being a nobody with no personal stakes here

-> personally ive never kept up with having social media accounts that are actually just, me irl - like a facebook or main instagram, like a locals account yknow? but i think it goes for that too - stop spending so much time trying to further personalize your online presence in the hopes of it representing you perfectly - because it never will, and it shouldnt, and you shouldnt aspire for that. your social media presence is lighthearted and incredibly surface-level, treat it like that! thats not me bashing social media either, having that mindset will make it more enjoyable bc youll be using it as it should be used!

do following/followers or camera roll/files or app purges. this is also a soft launch type of way to practice easing into a better mindset. aside from just literally getting rid of junk, the process of trying to judge whether or not you need something is good practice in mindfulness! even if you dont delete everything you feel like you maybe should, thats fine, youll do other purges in the future too. eventually youll get better at parting with things and realizing when things that feel good in a moment are actually bad for you. and it forces you to regularly check in on your more long-lasting parasocial relationships online and how theyre serving you or not

speaking of parasocial - for actual friends, if theyre irl, think about how much you interact with them online vs in person and why you think that is and how it affects you. maybe youll wanna see them more irl if possible (i promise its better for your friendship), maybe youll realize you dont need to keep tabs on them anymore (old high school acquaintances lookin at you). for celebrities and fandom things - try to think about the bare minimum content from them you could do with. you dont have to unstan all your faves and stop enjoying things - but do you need their notifications on? do you need to have a stan account? do you need them on all the platforms? do you need to have all that saved content of them? are there aspects of this that you love that could be found elsewhere?

if youre of the genre of online where you just cant help yourself from getting involved in big discussions or discourse and arguments - i recommend journaling when you get upset by something online, articulating your feelings without the idea of someone ever reading it and without the goal of 'winning' or being the most correct and logical or even the most sympathetic and morally good. take away every audience aspect of it. what is this really about for you, and why would strangers online deserve to hear your personal well-thought out opinions? why would your thoughts deserve to be simplified and misconstrued and underappreciated the way they would be in this discussion? is there even an outcome to this where you feel truly satisfied? are their people who are more worthy of hearing your thoughts who arent part of this audience? is this a conversation that is best held online where so much communicative nuance is inevitably sacrificed?

in the end these are all just practices in remembering how in control you are. and that goes for if any of these are scary or too difficult sounding too! these all become less scary if you remember that as soon as anything becomes too uncomfortable or painful, you have all the power to stop doing it, make a change, and try again later. so much of advice for quitting bad habits can be intimidating because the pressure and the shame that would come from failing scares you out of the possible benefits of trying - just go ahead and kill that shame from the jump. of course youre going to fail! you are going to have setbacks! thats part of it! you have agency in this, always. the internet is not inherently or completely evil nor good. build trust in yourself to make the calls on when it is serving you and when it isnt on a case-by-case basis, and then give yourself permission to learn through trial and error.

and remember you are worth all of this effort. i believe in us <3

[lonelyroommp3]

honestly could you just straight up review every song on brat

deal

360 - functions perfectly as an album opener (and i appreciate the work it puts in to set up the far superior 365 at the end) but doesn't do much for me as a standalone song. i'm not sure if this is actually a problem with the song itself or if i just dislike the post-ironic nyc it girl culture featured in the music video so much that i now have beef with the song as a consequence

club classics - i have not heard this song while off my face in a grotty warehouse club in an east london industrial estate and as a result i don't feel i can truly give it the impartial ranking it deserves just yet. this is not a song that reaches its full potential in any other setting

sympathy is a knife - i don't find myself returning to this song often but i do objectively think it bangs hugely. i just have surprisingly little to say about it honestly

i might say something stupid - huge song, and yet so small at the same time. it is very rare that i call a sub-2 minute song perfect because i'm 5minutesongfucker420 but it comes in, says what it needs to, and rips your heart out in the process. i go back and forth comparing brat and melodrama quite often (SORRY CHARLI, I KNOW YOU HAVE A SONG ABOUT THIS COMING UP) because they're both Party Girl Concept Albums and to me this is brat's "liability" in terms of early album moment of complete braking-hard-and-hitting-the-wall vulnerability.

talk talk - SOOOO fun. absolutely love the production on this one, right up my alley, i am also a huge sucker for a big fun song about having a crush. i would also like to shout out this song for ruining any international sporting event where france and spain face off because all i can ever think is TALK TO ME IN FRENCH TALK TO ME IN SPANISH TALK TO ME IN YOUR OWN MADE UP LANGUAGE

von dutch - absolutely gigantic and a perfect opening single to set the tone of the era. those massive revving synths encapsulate the sound of what i thought clubbing would be like when i was about 13 years old. also a perfect confidence boost song - i have strutted at olympic racewalker speed down the street with this blasting in my airpods more times than i would care to admit

BONUS: the various von dutch remixes - i don't always subscribe to the "if it ain't broke don't fix it" rule of remixes (for example, to go on a complete tangent, i adore both deadmau5's original raise your weapon and the madeon extended remix because they do entirely different things equally well) but nothing in the von dutch remixes make me think yeah, this is worthy of existing alongside the original and adds something cool and interesting and different to the track that i wasn't already getting from the og. the one exception i'd make is, of course, addison rae's extremely cunty scream in the a.g. cook remix but i'm not going to keep returning to an entire remix for just one fun moment that's already been oversaturated on tiktok

everything is romantic - i will confess, for all i claim to be an open minded enjoyer of music and a fan of Insane Tracks For The Club, initially the jagged production was a bit jarring to me and i thought yeah, i probably won't be coming back to this song. and now i'm obsessed with it. however it does make the children (me) yearn for the mediterranean and as a result i will be invoicing charli for the damage to my bank account when the day inevitably comes that i listen to this song too many times after half a bottle of wine and immediately book myself an italian weekend getaway

rewind - first time i heard this i was like oh okay we're getting into the slightly more fillery second third of the album, it's a fine song but not quite on the level of all that has come before it. and now it is one of my absolute favourites. i also LOVE how direct and specific the lyrics are on this track, which is something i normally beef with when it comes to a lot of contemporary pop music but the difference is 1) charli is good at it 2) her delivery is so direct that it sort of dares you to sit still and listen without criticising it. incredibly strong song

so i - a genuinely beautiful song that i rarely listen to because it makes me feel like i am intruding on something. i think the fact that it exists out in the world on this album is a wonderful thing and the most perfect tribute to sophie & full circle moment when it comes to charli's insecurities around working with her - "when i make songs i remember things you'd suggest... would you like this one? maybe just a little bit?" - but at the same time i'm always like. i kind of feel like i shouldn't be listening to this

girl, so confusing - the original is a lovely little paradox. i enjoyed it enough on my first listen and the lorde version quite simply would not exist, let alone be as impactful as it is, without it, but now that the lorde version exists i don't want to listen to any other version. the remix is almost certainly going to be my top brat track of the year

apple - initially a skip, then i had a moment of realisation that it is in fact the best marina and the diamonds song written in years (that froot looks familiar, i suppose), and then it rapidly became overplayed as the result of, to be fair, the very good and fun tiktok dance that i still do on instinct every time i hear the song. i think instead of riding the wave of its virality by releasing it to radio as a single etc charli should lock this one in a vault for about three months so nobody can listen to it and then when it comes back we'll all be like oh yeah wait this is a really good little song

b2b - love it, was my immediate fave out of the club classics/b2b double single release, but once again i feel like i've not yet heard it at its full potential (inside a cramped and small and extremely sweaty basement club when i'm 8 shots deep planning a terribly ill advised pulling mission)

mean girls - the thing is i think it's a fun enough song as a storytelling concept if you view it as Just A Little Fun Song, also i love the production, a little bit of house-y piano is always going to hit for me. the issue is i've already told you what i think about the post-ironic it girl subculture this song is about and i think if you actively listen to this song and go wowwwww she gets me then you need to have your internet access forcibly removed for at least six months until you calm down and develop a personality outside of the red scare podcast and pretentious "overrated vs underrated" columns hosted by wannabe substack celebrities. also the thing is this song is going to be dated within the year, which is a shame bc it does, musically, go

i think about it all the time - this song should NOT hit as hard as it does considering i staunchly plan on never having children. i cannot relate to the sentiment behind it at all but charli paints such a beautiful and vivid picture with her lyrics (all perfectly intertwined with that understated, quietly pulsating production) that you can't help but have an emotional connection to it. beautiful and vulnerable and a really perfect moment of quiet towards the end of the album

365 - first of all, a perfectly placed song when it comes to encapsulating those dizzy night out mood swings of "wait. should i settle down and have children.... nvm let's go back inside and do coke". second of all, as a musical theatre girlie to my core i love ANY song that reprises an earlier theme and this not only repurposes the 360 stems excellently but actively improves on the earlier track. thirdly, i think charli's "okay, OKAYYYY" at the beginning of the song is a flawless and fun way of rounding out the album - it really feels like she's bringing you back into it, going OKAY let's do this one last time, are you FUCKING READY, etc. fourthly, it's just FUN. definitely a standout track to me

hello goodbye - LOVEEEE, i do greatly enjoy and appreciate charli's more experimental music but i can't lie. sometimes she releases a fairly straightforward poppy banger and it just hits the spot. like this

guess - YOU WANNA GUESS THE COLOUR OF MY UNDERWEAR YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT I'VE GOT GOING ON DOWN THERE IS IT PRETTY IN PINK OR ALL SEE THROUGH IS IT SHOWING OFF MY BRAND NEW LOWER BACK TATTOO. btw the billie eilish verse on the remix slays, i know this is a charli review but i love that billie has devoted her first two explicitly gay singles to being just outrageously horny with it, you go girl, i think the discourse around the song is so unbelievably daft and we need to settle down and have fun

spring breakers - i know this is a fan fave that people were begging to put on the album but i just simply do not care about it. sorry

[emeraldskulblaka]

What makes a stage adaptation of Tolkien's works relevant?

The big Tolkien websites/blogs/influencers care about many adaptations of Tolkien's works, but not all. I'm not overly familiar with non-stage adaptations beyond the Really Popular ones, so I don't really know what's going on there, but I AM noticing significant patterns and omissions when it comes to stage shows.

Only select productions are reported on, and what is reported on does not depend on the specific adaptation. I'm asking questions I can't answer myself; they're meant to help structure my thoughts.

Question: Are only productions by well-known, highly professional theatres relevant?

The answer seems to be a clear YES. While the size of the theatres varies, only notable regional, state, and commercial theatre productions are seen as relevant. It makes sense - they're better documented and widely promoted, not least because of their budget.

However, Kentucky Opera's Hobbit last month went by unnoticed. It was a children's opera, which brings me to the next question:

Question: Are Hobbit plays less relevant when they're performed by and for kids?

It looks like it. Strange, is it not? The Hobbit is a children's book. Let me elaborate on this:

Not only the Kentucky Opera's Hobbit, but also the National Children's Theatre of South Africa's Hobbit, and Wilde & Vogel's puppetry Hobbit (touring in German-speaking countries) barely rouse interest from Tolkien Societies or local fans. Is there no value in children's theatre to be found for adults?

Question: Are parodies not legitimate adaptations?

If the Hobbit is less interesting because it's for kids, and proper adaptations must be performed at renowned theatres, you'd think LotR-inspired plays aimed at fans of all ages would be interesting, but... no. Some of them are parodies.

Charles Ross' One Man Lord of the Rings played at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival for two weeks, no one batted an eye. Fellowship! even has an official cast album, but 'the' Lord of the Rings musical is the only one, right? And The Wizard of the Rings in Arizona may have played a popular local theatre, but it's also... a parody! While memes and fun edits are popular, parodies are not.

Question: Is there a bias towards English-language adaptations?

Also a clear YES. Popular Tolkien bloggers/websites/influencers often write in English for an English-speaking audience, which however DOES NOT always live in English-speaking countries. I found the Tolkien Society before the German 'branch', and I've met Russians who found out about the rock operas through me, who is running a blog in English.

Non-English language productions sometimes offer surtitles during performances, subtitles for official recordings, and live broadcasts to overcome language and spatial barriers. The interest for these is still remarkably small.

Question: Does official licensing play a role?

Apparently, yes. Maybe it's the same motivation that makes people ask for 'book-accurate' adaptations, the desire to see your favourite characters and stories represented as true to Tolkien as possible, and the trust in the rights owners to ensure that. Maybe.

What makes me think that? The fact that people are asking for Silmarillion adaptations even though multiple Czech musicals, a Spanish musical, and multiple Russian rock operas and musicals already exist! Of course, those aren't English, and they're also comparatively small productions, but they're written by fans with lots of love for Tolkien's writings in their hearts, and that should be worth something..?

Ultimately, I think, it's always a combination of multiple factors, and I haven't even mentioned the most important one yet: The majority is quite simply not interested in theatre. Or not in all of Tolkien's works. And it's always easier to love what's popular: as a creator, you get more attention for your works, and as a consumer, you have a bigger variety of things to choose from.

[mushigima]

Ghost headcanons because I love me a mysterious masked man

König headcanons can be found here.

-> a very literal man. A lot of people around him might think he’s a mystery but they’re just blinded by the mask - if you actually interact with him on a daily basis you’ll quickly find out that he’s very straightforward and transparent at and off work.

-> also starting off strong with the fact that I believe he’s generally not a jealous person, not even in a relationship. I do think he has his insecurities and he def gets in his sappy moods once in a while but generally knows that yearning for things he has no influence on is very contra productive. Tries his best to always stay in the moment and to not get into his head too much (because he usually does).

-> But on the other hand I can see him being a tat…possessive... Being possessive doesn’t translate into him being very emotionally reactive about it tho. Makes sure that his fears of losing what’s ‘his’ stay fears and realizes them as purely imagined. Again, I think he knows very well that he’s an avoidant person. However, if he gets insecure and therefore struggles with possessiveness, it starts with a flicker and then a spark: usually hes good at catching it. It won’t start a fire within him. But if it does he’s getting into his head, being suspicious. Will translate into on and off behavior or him being more closed off at worst.

-> 100% clenches his jaws at night. Ghost is a certified neurotic, change my mind. Integrates specific rituals to sort out his mind in his routine if it’s possible (are all of these so called rituals healthy?? Not so much but as long as it keeps the thoughts into place he’s fine with it). Has tried out certain fidget toys like those small fidget cubes and has kept them near his bedside table or in his pockets from once in a while.

-> This one is a bit goofy but I can see him being the type to snore so loud the whole house will wake up when he’s drunk and passes out.

-> Also the type to push his body beyond belief and proves the hypothesis that under adrenaline humans are more capable of what we think of. Will rase the bar constantly and earns a lot of admiration for his dedication.

-> Actually really enjoys reading. Mystery, thriller, but also folklore and philosophy books. Could also listen to a few ‘work and grind’ podcasts or audiobooks when he feels his mental health and stress levels are kicking lmao but generally finds comfort in the dark and mysterious. Definitely has studied stoicism at one point in his life but knows that his temper gets the best of him.

-> Listens to ambience music and rain sounds, also uses them to help him fall asleep when insomnia is hitting hard.

-> If he ever catches genuine interest for something its becoming a niche/special interest he’ll be very particular about. Really enjoys learning and doing research until having a good grasp of the topic/skill. This might also be due to him being just a liiiiittle bit competitive.

-> That being said if he’s not doing his job he’s actually the curious type but is just very good at not acting out on impulses. If he feels save he would roam around a store for a while and look at every object, but the military (and life to an extent too) kinda excorcised the ‘child-like’ qualities out of him. If you’re lucky you see them possess this 6’4 man once in a while and he’ll be gone, lost in his thoughts thinking about this and that, observing nick-nacks like a crow that found a shiny silver spoon lol.

-> Deep, deep down is veeeery sentimental. Has no pictures in his apartment except for a box with a few pics of the boys and him underneath his bed. Reminds him of things he deems as important. Would keep one special item of yours at his place that he keeps looking at once in a while.

-> Don’t look at me but I believe this man has a wide knowledge of birds. Is very fond of them. A nerd and not ashamed of it (but no one really knows, except for soap maybe). Used to spend his time watching birds as a child, still enjoys looking at them when he’s out on a mission and has a bit of free time. Is actually comforted by their presence. He’s equally amused by their funny nature, impressed by their intelligence and also very emo about the fact that he was jealous of their ability to be free and go wherever when he was younger.

-> He’s a silent learner. Learns by observing. Especially people. He could notice that you might have some sort underlying communication issue that affects your dynamic and weeks later he comes back from the shadows and is actually tending towards your needs. Things just run smoother now and you wonder why. Will absolutely not change character and personality for you or bend himself in every direction to please someone, but is quiet aware of his own short comings. He also likes to solve problems before things escalate. He might also be a liiittle bit of a control freak.

-> That being said he is very stubborn if he wants to change and work on himself or not. If he’s comfortable sitting in his own misery because it hasn’t negatively effected his life so far why should he? His red flag is thinking that having intimate connections with people can exist without him getting changed by them in the slightest. Commitmophobe tendencies are triggered by the consequences of genuine intimacy.

-> he’s either a Capricorn, Sagittarius or Scorpio change my mind!!!!! (you can’t)

-> Yes, he is indeed a cuddly person!!! I will die on this hill, it only really shows when time and place is appropriate and he will be subtle about it but will start mewling when you hold him and stroke his back gently, intertwine your fingers and make sure to lock your legs around his!!!! Loves becoming a human pretzel with you when he has time to relax fully, but especially when you’re about to go to bed. He’s also a big fan of you laying on top of him, will start holding you or caressing you right away. He does it all the time, absentminded. Reads a book? One hand is in your hair, combing softly through it. You’re waiting in line at the grocery store?? At first you didn’t notice but his hand found yours and now his thumb is tracing circles on your hand. Def very subtle in public but enough to let you taste his sweet affection once in a while.

-> This one is one of my favs but he’s a dude that’s not getting embarrassed. Not only because most things are simply normal but because he doesn’t care. He has to make sure none of his team mates die at work you think he cares about dirty kitchen dishes?????? A pimple?????? A burp or fart?????? You must be joking if you’d think he’d waste his time thinking about these meaningless things when existential dread is all that fills up his mind.

-> Enjoys playing card games. It takes him a while to get warm but he is keen on winning. But almost always looses in the last round coming out second. Enjoys the fact that it’s a team activity the most.

[supercantaloupe]

The Rent Post™

aka, a lengthy screed on how rent the musical goes about adapting la boheme, where it fails, and what can be done about it

so i’m admittedly a reformed Theater Kid™. and tbh i still very much am a Theater Person, even a Musical Theater Person, i’m just in my 20s now and my taste has shifted away from what’s mainstream on broadway right now and closer to the world of opera. but there absolutely was a time in my early teens when i was Really Into Rent, as many Theater Kids™ were…and there was also a time in my later teens when i thought about it and realized that rent was not only just not my thing, but that there were some significant Problems with it, as its own work and as an adaptation. now, having finally seen boheme for myself, i feel like i’m really in a place to piece together how the two works compare to one another, and why/how i think rent falls short of success (as a piece of theater anyway. obviously rent is not lacking in commercial and popular audience success, for better or worse).

i knew years ago that rent is a direct adaptation of la boheme, but wow, only after seeing the opera did i come to realize just how closely rent follows boheme: in plot beats, in character names, even borrowing a couple of lyrics and musical motifs here and there. 

but it also changes things from the original opera -- namely, it adds things -- and i think this is the first place where rent runs into trouble. now i am by no means such a purist that i think no work should ever be adapted unchanged (more on this later...what’s the point of adaptation if not to change things to make the work resonate with a new audience anyway?). however, any and every change made to an existing work in adaptation should be thoughtfully made and motivated, because every single change has an effect on the whole product in some way, and many small changes can add up to create a rather different final product than a creator might realize. 

(and this goes both ways, i think -- both in a work where a more flawed source material is adapted into something new and better, and when a superior original work is adapted into a worse new creation.)

definitely some of the changes made in rent while adapting la boheme are due to the change in medium. opera and musicals are both theater, sure, and more similar in many ways to each other than either is to straight play or film perhaps, but it’s still like a spanish speaker and an italian speaker trying to have a conversation with one another. the languages are similar and there might even be a bit of crossover in mutual intelligibility but they are still ultimately two different languages with different grammars and vocabulary. opera in general tends to have slower pacing than book musicals, fewer plot threads of equal importance. that rent is specifically a musical adaptation of la boheme, rather than a true rock opera, demonstrates this well. the mimi/rodolfo relationship is still front and center (americanized of course as mimi and roger), with marcello and musetta close behind (though expanded in rent as more of a love triangle among mark, maureen, and joanne, the latter being an invented character for the musical who i think embodies the original marcello as much as mark does). but rent adds a lot of stage time and focus to a new couple, collins and angel, who are directly lifted from colline and schaunard, who are essentially secondary comic relief characters, whereas collins/angel are arguably as important plot wise to mimi/roger and mark/maureen/joanne. 

(and i’m not gonna get into the level of #problematic there is to the depiction of maureen as an overly promiscuous bisexual or discuss why colline and schaunard can’t have been a gay couple the whole time or whatever because. wow i do not care. there are more important things to complain about here c’mon)

first big addition to rent that wasn’t original to boheme is that increased stage presence/focus for collins and angel. it's not inherently a bad addition, and for its time the open depiction of multiple queer romances onstage was still kind of groundbreaking. and yes, rent having a longer runtime than boheme should give it the opportunity to flesh this relationship out more as well as the other two to make sure they all have an equal chance to develop and end in a satisfying way. hell, they don’t even all have to be equal in stage presence/focus/importance to be a positive addition to the show (and how can it be when angel dies halfway through act ii? then again, the character dying doesn’t exactly mean the relationship loses its importance in the plot…) but despite the extra runtime and faster storytelling pace, rent doesn’t actually develop angel and collins all that much, especially not before angel dies. this isn’t an issue with colline and schaunard, of course, cause it’s obvious they’re not important characters in boheme. but collins and angel are arguably more important in rent than even mark/maureen/joanne. and angel dies halfway through act ii…meanwhile, mimi survives the end of rent, when she very pointedly does not in boheme.

and…oh, mimi. she is probably the biggest and most problematic adaptational change in rent as compared to la boheme. on the surface she (and roger/rodolfo) seems the least changed of all the opera’s characters, her name not even undergoing the same americanization treatment as the others. but there are just so many small details that add up and up until she’s a fundamentally different character in rent. i don’t even begrudge the change in occupation: her becoming a stripper/exotic dancer/possible sex worker(?) rather than a seamstress does bring with it some cultural baggage, but i am not personally interested in reading any morality into her choice of occupation, and i choose not to read her line of work as having any implications for her “innocence” or moral value as a character. nor will i read her addiction or disease as being moral qualities either. however: there is a big difference between tuberculosis in the 1840s and both AIDS and drug addiction in the 1980s. neither boheme’s mimi nor rent’s are morally responsible for their illnesses. but there is absolutely nothing mimi could do about her tuberculosis in boheme except die, because it was france in the 1840s and nobody knew what an antibiotic was. in new york in 1989, there were rehab clinics and there were medications for HIV. these things were expensive and hard to access, yes, but rent really goes out of its way to show us that mimi had the resources to access these things -- she is able to afford AZT in act i on her own (and the fact that she’s on AZT is used as shorthand for her HIV+ status, as opposed to other characters about whom we are told outright)...

… and her relationship with benny (the much-expanded counterpart to boheme’s benoit the landlord character) in act ii, who verbally offers to pay for her admittance to a rehab program.

yet the next time we see or hear anything of her, her loving mother is calling to ask where she is as she’s presumably gone missing…

…and then discover she has been living on the street, dying from exposure/disease/addiction. 

did she do this willingly? did benny refuse to continue supporting her? we don’t really get an answer to any of this; rent isn’t really concerned with why mimi is in the position she’s in, but is rather entirely preoccupied with staying true to boheme -- up until mimi’s death, anyway. because mimi doesn’t die in rent, she is saved, and says that angel told her to keep on living (as though it were a choice). why? we can only speculate. really, if any character embodies the same “dying tragically in a world too cruel for them to survive” theme as mimi in boheme does, it’s angel. and her death is honestly used as a tool throughout the rest of the show: a purpose for kindness, community, life.

is this a bad “bury your gays” kind of thing? i don’t really know, i’m inclined to believe not. but i do think angel’s death is more thematically akin to mimi’s death in boheme than the actual (near-)death of mimi in rent. 

and this is the biggest difference between rent and boheme: boheme is not about hope. boheme is a tragic romance about how important relationships are among people in disadvantaged communities/situations, but it does not say that love will transcend or materially improve those conditions. rent, by contrast, does. rent suggests that the love of partners and community (even if filled with complications and tensions) is lifesaving. 

(and i know rent’s stated thesis is “no day but today,” i.e. live and enjoy every day as though it could be your last, but i think thematically all the characters and their interactions overall suggest a theme of community just as if not more strongly, whereas “no day but today” is more limited to the HIV+ characters and has little to do with the mark/maureen/joanne subplot. mimi's outlook on "no day but today" changes when she chooses to stay alive on the urging of angel from the other side.) 

now i don’t think this is altogether a bad moral to have in your theater piece. especially in one of the first major pieces of theater centered on marginalized queer characters. i will not deny how important and cathartic it can be, both now and especially thirty years ago when rent premiered, to end on a hopeful note rather than a tragic one. but i have a couple of issues with how rent goes about making this its central theme. for one thing, mimi has frankly too many Things affecting her health in the end for her survival to be realistic, and absolutely nothing up to this point in the show has suggested a setting of magical realism or pseudofantasy; everything has been as grounded in real life as possible, until finale b, when mimi suddenly and near-inexplicably survives. it feels like it comes out of nowhere tonally and thus isn’t very satisfying an ending when put to scrutiny. for another, angel has already died, and angel is, compared to mimi, a much more beloved and uncomplicatedly positive force in their community and relationships. angel’s entire stage presence (while she’s alive and when her character is invoked or referenced after her death) is a positive one: caring for collins when he’s injured, providing food and funds to the group, placating arguments, etc.

and the fact that angel has no concerned parents leaving her voicemails, unlike mark, roger, and mimi, underscores that she has no one else to lean on for support except her community of bohemians. and we’re not given a reason to believe one way or the other about her home life or financial stability outside of today 4 u when she got a sudden windfall for killing a dog (whatever; schaunard did the same thing to the parrot in boheme). in contrast to mimi, roger, and especially mark, who are clearly shown to have family who care about them and want to support them, yet they choose to live in romanticized poverty anyway. mark even gets a good job in filming and still finds a way to complain about it.

really, except for angel (and arguably collins, too), it’s difficult to totally sympathize with the characters in rent and care fully about their plight because they’re just…not depicted as particularly likable people. maureen is an unfaithful and kind of manipulative partner, and her approach to “protest” is really just bad self-absorbed performance art. roger just kind of sucks at songwriting (how is your eyes the song that he’s spent the whole show writing? it’s the worst number in the musical lol), and he’s quick to anger…his decision to leave mimi makes even less sense here than rodolfo’s decision to leave her in boheme, where at least he did so out of genuine concern for her health (also why does he leave mark? rodolfo embraces marcello as a friend still after mimi leaves in boheme...act iii of boheme is the least closely adapted in rent by far.). wheras in rent roger seems to be both genuinely jealous of mimi interacting with other men and upset by her continued drug use. although this last one i don’t begrudge him for, since it’s made clear he’s a recovering addict himself…although it does make mimi’s relationship with him all the worse, considering that mimi’s take on the whole “no day but today” theme is to throw caution to the wind with her actions and not worry about the future at all, and her interacting with roger is directly tempting him back into addiction which he clearly does not want. (and roger’s rejection of her in another day is framed as him being in the wrong with mimi being backed up by the life support chorus…)

while mimi as we’ve seen is reckless and throws her life away even when people try to help her (very very different from boheme’s mimi, who makes no particularly reckless choices, and accepts help when it's offered). and mark is entitled and uses his film as an excuse to disengage with the real world, even exploit it (see: the way he films the life support meeting without permission, or the homeless woman, which is never really confronted elsewhere in the show…)

the inclusion of a homelessness subplot in rent is particularly strange to me. it shows up a lot, especially in act i: the threat of homelessness for the main characters should they not pay their rent or come to some kind of agreement with their landlord; the vague future threat of benny’s “cyberarts studio” getting built which is implied would evict those living in tents on the lot; mimi being found living on the street in the finale; and the chorus/ensemble who show up periodically, as above. homelessness is an ever present element of set dressing/conflict in rent but it’s never really addressed, no points are ever made about it, which is in my opinion kind of wild and very unsatisfying. the above scene especially, considering how direct of a callout it is towards the show’s own characters and writing, yet it is never addressed afterwards, and this conflict is never really resolved. 

one could take similar issue with the choice to swap tuberculosis in boheme with AIDS in rent. though in my opinion i think addiction is as much as if not more rent’s analogue to boheme’s TB, since that is a much more acutely seen disease for mimi and only mimi while there are multiple characters (main and chorus) living with HIV…then again, angel is the character who gets the real tragic death analogous to mimi’s in boheme, and angel dies of complications from AIDS, so i suppose it’s open to debate. regardless, there’s a significant contextual difference between TB in the 1840s and HIV and addiction in the 1980s: there was no system, political, social, or medical, that could truly heal someone of tuberculosis in boheme’s setting. but there very much was a medical and social system in place to help people with HIV and addiction in the 1980s; systems which were aggressively denied to those who were suffering by the political system. and for as much as the characters in rent like to sing about revolution, protest, and activism, not a single one actually challenges the powers that be or call out by name those responsible for the systematic denial of healthcare to the marginalized. activism and artistic revolution is hollow and meaningless in rent, they never name a real enemy, just a vague sense of “the man.” but it’s a story set in a real and still recent historical time period, the effects of which we still deal with today (and i’m sure even more acutely so back in 1996); it just feels disrespectful to me to use those crises as such important set dressing for your musical which positions itself as a “fuck the man” revolutionary kind of piece of theater and yet do or say absolutely nothing about the real world issues it is appropriating. for more information i highly recommend checking out lindsay ellis’ video on the topic. 

so is all this to say i think rent is an irredeemable, fundamentally broken work? actually, no; i think it has a decent foundation and some solid music. i understand the reasoning behind and appeal of updating an old work to a new time period/setting for a new audience, and i think trading 1840s paris for 1980s nyc is an interesting and workable substitution. but when i look at rent as it is now, i just do not see a finished product. 

and i think this is the most frustrating and disappointing thing about rent to me: rent is, quite literally, an unfinished show. its composer and librettist, jonathan larson, died suddenly the day of its first preview performance. and for so many developing (off-)broadway shows, previews are when the actual finished product is crafted, as the show is revised based on audience reactions. of course audience and critical reception to rent from the very beginning was positive, but i can’t help but speculate how much of that is influenced by the mere fact of its creator’s untimely death. and i wonder what changes larson would have made to his show if he had lived, and been able to hear the audience’s reactions, and revise the show accordingly. i wonder if he would have thought it worked. i wonder if he would have seen the same cracks that i see in it. i don’t think rent is inherently unsalvageable, but it is so far unsalvaged. 

and frankly i don’t know that it ever will be salvaged; not for many years, at least. not until copyright and licensing in musical theater changes, and not until broadway audiences get more comfortable with the idea of altering beloved and familiar classics (the 2019 revival of oklahoma! was, in my opinion, a work of genius, but i’m well aware my opinion is not universal, and especially during its national tour the show’s entire concept has been extremely controversial). do to rent what bartlett sher and aaron sorkin are doing to camelot right now: keep the heart and soul of the piece intact, but rewrite what doesn’t work. or do something even more drastic, cut subplots and change character traits, i don’t know. maybe mimi should die; maybe it really is important that she survive! maybe rent shouldn’t have been based on boheme at all; hell, what would rent look like if it was based on la traviata instead? (well the answer to this one is “a different show entirely,” most likely, but if you want to write a poignant and tragic love story based on a romantic opera and set in 1980s nyc featuring queer and/or HIV+ characters, well…it could work and i’ll leave it there.) maybe that’s going too far, i don’t know, but the point is, i want to see directors and writers have the freedom to try that stuff out. because i don’t think rent is unsalvageable; i think it’s unfinished. 

but rent is far too popular and beloved for anyone to dare touch its libretto with new ink. the memory of jonathan larson is held far too preciously for anyone to allow such debasement of his work. when searching online for libretti to reference when writing this essay, i found one transcribed script with this at its heading:

and i think that about sums it up for me. “may he be friggen worshiped!” him and all his creations, holy and untouchable.  it’d be tantamount to theater sacrilege at this point to try and change it. how dare you sully larson’s good name by thinking you could “fix” his masterpiece…the masterpiece no one wants to admit he never got to actually finish. well, i don’t know, maybe it’s me being jewish and sentimental here, but if i have enough respect for a piece of work i want to be able to engage with it and question it and interpret it as i think it best ought to be. (jonathan larson was also jewish. would he agree with me? i don’t know. but i think he’d want to see the best of his work, just like i do.) live theater is inherently participatory and dialectical. and it ought to be alive, not carved into stone. neither immovable nor under threat of utter annihilation should someone come too close with a chisel. rent has potential. la boheme is still as affecting today as it was a hundred thirty years ago (did you know rent premiered almost exactly a hundred years after la boheme?). rent could be the same. and it does have emotionality behind it as it is now, credit where credit’s due. but it could be more than just that. if we could just let someone finish the thing already, even if larson himself couldn’t.

[immortaldesiresproject]

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Hello friends and fans!! I finally have some updates for ya’ll!

I’ve been working on this project alone for months, specifically since the day Pixelberry announced they will no longer continue forward with Immortal Desires. I was so crushed and saw so many other players and fans feel the same way. So, I decided to start messing around with making my own fan sequel after seeing @itlivesproject @thedistantshoresproject and @nightboundthesecond doing so well and seeing amazing products. I’m going to school for a BA in Game Art and Design, and my minor is Creative Writing, and I thought this would be a good go for my first video game. And I couldn’t be more excited to see things falling into place! I now have a writer onboard! Meet Mir! @timetravesty​ Hey everyone, I’m Mir and I’ll be helping out with the Immortal Desires 2 project! I’m a writer here on tumblr (couple of months till I hit the 1 year mark😯) and am really excited to be a part of this amazing project with everyone, but more importantly, helping deliver an amazing story to a series that ended too soon! Since we might know each other for a bit, some fun facts about me 🤔I’ve wanted a dog since I was around 6. I probably listen to my Spotify account 20/24 hours in the day.My favorite video games to play are animal crossing, stardew, undertale, Minecraft, and I was pretty into Haven recently, which I highly recommend 😌My favorite ghibli movie (since I had a marathon recently) is spirited away.I’m very excited for the future of this project and please look forward to future updates! 😗Nice to meet you all!

We’re still slowly moving, but, Mir and I have started expanding upon the plot points I’ve had planned for a while. We’re confident we’re going to be able to work well together to deliver a wonderful, full story for all of you.

And I couldn’t forget Ally! @fuckyeahilovemarcolinfan​

I’ve been a long-time fan and player of Choices; I started playing in December of 2016, but I started getting into the fandom somewhere around the end of 2018, and started on an IG that I created way back in 2014. I didn’t really intend to make my IG account about Choices, but I wanted to connect with people who have the same interests as me, and to share my ideas and opinions about the book releases. A very dear friend of mine started teaching me how to collect assets at some point in time, and I’ve been kind of considered a Spoiler Queen ever since then lol. I focused on posting premium scenes because I want everyone to see those scenes since not everyone can afford them. I started making edits way back in October 2019 because I really wanted people to distinguish me. All in all, I’m very fortunate that my best bud showed me how to access these assets.

Ally has been wonderful in helping me acquire assets and just being super supportive and so helpful. She is so enthusiastic about this project and has been just giving the best vibes!

Now that you’ve met the team, time for some awaited updates for ya’ll! First, lets start with the preview!!.

So, to state the obvious, this is everyone in their formal wear! I have also given all of the side characters formal wear, but I felt like these are what the people are screaming for! And of course, we have our lil Sethy-poo included in here too and he got a makeover! If you would be so kind to click play at the video at the top because it’s featuring a rough draft of the title song. It’s my own lil creation, however, I’m recruiting folks from my local music scene to not only help out with this project, but to help support their bands and their projects!

Super bummed that the quality of these dropped because of the formatting, but I have included all three of the new expressions I’ve created: playful, shy, and disgusted. All of the main and primary characters have these faces! I have also gotten all of the female MC sprite sheets done, most of the female clothes, and all of the hair; I’m so excited to give you guys that update in the future!! From here, Mir and I will be working on a very rough draft of the story. I will continue working on assets for the MC since almost all of the primary/main characters are done. 

The next update will likely be a few weeks from now; I’m not sure what I’ll have for ya’ll quite yet, but please stay tuned and ask any and all questions. Thank you all for the overwhelming amount of support and love; it’s greatly appreciate between me and the team.

[mrjoeiconis-blog]

From the Archive: BE MORE CHILL TRACK BY TRACK May 16, 2018: Hey, hi, hello. My name is Joe Iconis. I’m a writer and performer and, most notably, the person to blame for the music and lyrics of Be More Chill. I wrote the show, a musical adaptation of Ned Vizzini’s novel, with Joe Tracz and it premiered in a production at Two River Theater in New Jersey in 2015. A cast album was made and was enjoyed by the amount of people you’d expect to enjoy a cast album of a musical that played for six weeks in New Jersey. Then suddenly and without warning, after two years of release, people, in particular young people, discovered the show and became obsessed. One hundred million streams of our cast album later, the show made its Off-Broadway debut in summer 2018 at the Pershing Square Signature Center on 42nd Street, before transferring to Broadway!

Before we launch into the madness of a track by track breakdown of the Be More Chill OCR, let’s talk about the Be More Chill score itself, shall we?

The first thing that excited me about adapting Ned Vizzini’s gorgeous book into a musical was the opportunity to write about the issues teenagers face through a sci-fi lens. I’ve written plenty of teens before. I love that they wear their emotions on their sleeve but don’t always have the vocabulary to properly articulate those emotions. But here was an opportunity to not only delve into the minds of young people, but to tap into some of my favorite genre influences: monster movies of the 1950’s, Sci-Fi/Horror flicks of the 70’s and 80’s, and Teen Comedies of the 80’s and 90’s. In short: John Hughes (Sixteen Candles, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off) meets John Carpenter (Halloween, The Thing.) 

Be More Chill is a classic musical comedy in disguise. It reeks of technology and is filthy with moderns sounds, problems, references, etc. But make no mistake about it: The show is as traditional as they come. Well, sort of.

The songs themselves are total showtunes; it’s the orchestrations that place us firmly in the genre world.

As I’d write the tunes on piano, I’d dream about what they’d sound like when given the full 80’s sci-fi treatment, and Charlie Rosen’s orchestrations satisfied my darkest, quirkiest musical fantasies. We worked closely on the specific sounds of this score. Our holy grail (especially when it came to underscore) was John Carpenter film scores. John Carpenter has directed countless horror classics, but he’s also famous for writing his own film scores. He was an electronic music pioneer and his work is immediately recognizable.

Other sonic influences included Oingo Boingo, Bernard Herrmann, Weezer, Tangerine Dream, The Offspring, and contemporary musicians with a retro flair like Sky Ferreira, Kavinsky, and Johnny Jewel.

“Jeremy’s Theme” Written at Joe’s 16th Street Apartment 2012/Two River Theater Library, during rehearsals 2015 I’ve always thought of this as the music that would accompany the production logos in a horror movie. The “American International Pictures presents… A Roger Corman picture…” cards. It immediately places the audience in an unsettled place. Something bad is going to happen and that bad thing is going to be otherworldly. 

We’re actually cramming a lot of information into 30 seconds. Up top you’re getting the beep-bop-boop of computer circuitry. It’s the technological equivalent of a scary thunder storm in a creature feature. Next, our first synth line arrives. Hello, synth. Nice to meet you. Won’t you please overstay your welcome for the next two and a half hours? I drove Charlie slightly crazy in regards to the specificity of keyboard sounds I was looking for as I desperately wanted to be faithful to the Carpenter/Alan Howarth collaborations that inspired much of the score. 

The track culminates with The Squip theme, played gloriously on Theremin by Danny Jonokuchi. The Theremin is a vintage electronic instrument played by the Thereminist moving his hands through the air to control pitch and volume. That instrument was used most often in 1950s sci-fi movies like The Day The Earth Stood Still, usually to accompany the visual of an alien presence. 

We’re one of the only musicals to ever use a Theremin in its orchestration. Be More Chill is a show about kids obsessed with all things outdated and unloved and the show itself is obsessed with all things outdated and unloved! How very! (Heathers reference.)

“More Than Survive” Written in Joe’s 16th Street Apartment, 2012 After our eerie mini-overture, the audience expects to be confronted by a demon or a triffid or worse. Instead, we jump cut to the shockingly mundane sight of an average high school kid staring at his computer in his undies. I’m proud that the first event in the musical is our leading man being caught with his pants down. It establishes Jeremy us a decidedly unheroic hero and also kick-starts a theme of pantlessness that continues throughout the entire show.

The “C-c-c-c’mon” motif was one I came up with early on in writing the song. I wanted a repeated phrase that expressed the frustration of wanting things to move at an accelerated speed, and one that could also sound like the chorus of a pop song. I love immediately subverting the expectation of what Jeremy’s waiting for to load—“Is it a major homework assignment? A college application?” Nope, it’s porn! That moment establishes the spirit of Be More Chill right off the bat. It also makes for awkward car rides when kids listen to the album in the car with their parents. Sorry, not sorry.

In the actual show there are even more mini-scenes between Jeremy and the people in his life. I wanted this whole opening to feel cinematic and sweeping and place Jeremy in the center of a world that is swirling around him. Kind of like the “Head Over Heels” sequence in Donnie Darko. 

The first person who connects with Jeremy enough to actually earn sung musical material is Michael. Michael brings his own music with him because he’s confident and, quite literally, marches to the beat of his own drummer.

Will Connolly’s voice just kills me on the album. He sounds like the love child of Michael Jackson and Billie Jo Armstrong. 

Notice the little synth line underneath the lockers scene with Chloe, Brooke, and Jenna. It’s a quote of “Rich Set a Fire.” The little synth line underneath the first part of Michael’s scene? “Michael in the Bathroom.” The guitar line in the second part? “The Pants Song.” That audience has subconsciously heard so many melodies from the show before the first number is even over! Underscore is sneaky.

It should be noted that “More Than Survive” was the first song I wrote for the show. After sending it to Joe Tracz, I sent it to Jennifer Ashley Tepper, who is now one of our producers of Be More ChillOff-Broadway. She wrote back:

“I tried to listen to the Be More Chill song, got 60 seconds in, and got furious at everyone for all of the noise/ questions/ distractions at work... so I'm gonna go download these on my phone and sit outside or hide in the bathroom to listen. BRB!!!”

Hiding in the bathroom. That’s so Be More Chill.

“I Love Play Rehearsal” Written in Joe’s 47th Street Apartment, 2013 After hearing so much about her in the opening, this is the first time we actually get to hear from Christine herself. Charlie and I wanted her song to sound different from the angular computerized vibe of the rest of the score. Enter recorders! 

Everyone associates recorders with elementary school music class and/or Renaissance fairs. That felt correct for Christine, who is warm, strange, confident, free-spirited, and literally dresses like an authentic Renaissance Princess at the Halloween Party in Act II! So much of Stephanie Hsu’s performance informed the song itself—she’s a brilliant actor and a soulful singer and it’s impossible to not conjure up images of her live performance when listening to her on the album.

The placement of this song moved around a whole bunch during our writing process and the eureka moment was realizing that the song’s not literally about play rehearsal. It’s a song about passion and freedom. It’s not the typical way to be introduced to a leading lady in a musical, which makes it perfect for Christine and for Be More Chill, in general. 

The original second song in the show was an internal duet for Jeremy and Christine called “Touching My Hand.” It was about Jeremy pining for Christine and Christine wondering if she should go on a date with Jake. There was some nice character material for Jeremy, but it gave us information we already knew and it made the show feel like some cute romantic comedy. It also felt antithetical to the character to have Christine’s first real song moment be about a guy. That’s not her and we needed to respect that.

Note that the original full title of this song was “Why I Love Play Rehearsal By Christine Canigula,” which is very fussy and precious and I loved it but it’s too cumbersome and I knew that someone would inevitably make me change it so I just did it myself. (RIP Fussy, Too-Long Title That Joe Loved.)

“The Squip Song” Written at Joe’s 16th Street Apartment, 2012 It begins as a retro-sounding “cool kid in a ’90s movie” rock song (with some Oingo Boingo horns added in for good measure) and then turns full blown sci-fi/horror fantasia. And it all goes down in a bathroom. There are a lot of bathrooms in this musical. 

This song is the first time we hear the “It’s From Japan…” refrain, which repeats ten million times over the course of the show. Gerard Canonico is a powerhouse of the highest order and he turned this song from a serviceable musicalized scene into a show stopper. The optional octave up jump on the second “It’s From Japan” is all Canonico’s doing. We had to add the big ending (including a toilet flush on the final button) just because it was so clear people wanted to clap after Gerard finished doing his thing.

Props to Josh Plotner on the vocoder, yet another retro instrument that’s rarely used in theater orchestration. It’s what makes the weird digitized voice sound. People usually think that it’s a mic effect but it’s all done live! Old school, baby.

For those who care: Gerard’s pronunciation of the word “correctly” is a nod to The Shining’s scary bathroom encounter between Jack Torrence and Delbert Grady.

“Two-Player Game” Written at Joe’s 47th Street Apartment, 2013/Rewritten during rehearsals at Ripley Grier Studios, 2015 I enjoy writing songs where characters have to work through some major personal issue while doing an unrelated task. (Ahem, “The Answer.” Ahem, “Ammonia.”)

Here, the boys talk about self-worth and the desire to be somebody else while playing a video game. Of course, the video game is actually telegraphing the journey they are about to go on but to Michael and Jeremy it’s just another nothing-special hang sesh. When I wrote that little 8-Bit “Apocalypse of the Damned” theme that threads through the song, I was inspired by being a kid and plunking out the melodies to grandiose John Williams orchestral scores on my Casio.

The original version of this song was titled “Level Up” and it did a lot of what “Two-Player Game” does, just not as well. It also sounded exactly like a particular song by The Clash and once I realized how similar the two songs were, “Level Up”s days were numbered.

It should be noted that I am the world’s biggest stickler when it comes to rhyme. I’m super old-school in that I believe things either rhyme or they don’t; none of that “half rhyme” garbage. I think rhyme makes theatre songs easier to understand and actually heightens the dramatic intention of the lyric. Disgustingly, “Two-Player Game” contains an accidental fake rhyme. By the time I realized, it was too late to change the rhyme. Every time I hear it, I cringe, and you can pay me a million dollars but I won’t tell you what it is. 

“The Squip Enters” The grand entrance of our antagonist: The Squip. It was important to our radiantly talented director Stephen Brackett that The Squip’s entrance feel larger than life. His staging of the moment was dazzling, and I needed to write a cue that rose to that occasion. The Squip enters to music that is tastelessly huge, appropriately so. 

It should be noted that I wrote The Squip with Eric William Morris in mind and I’m so glad his iconic performance of the role is preserved forever and ever on the album.

“Be More Chill – Part 1” Written in Joe’s 47th Street Apartment, 2013  I had a lot of trouble figuring out the musical style of The Squip. First I went down a computer-y road, but that felt too in line with the sound of the rest of the show. Then I tried a sort of 1950’s Dick Dale Surf Rock take. (Mike Rosengarten’s nasty, relentless guitar line is a remnant of that version of the song.) 

Eventually, I settled into what currently exists. There’s a timeless cool, laid-back quality to The Squip’s music. It’s approachable and sexy but never too scary or affronting. This is seduction music. The moments where the vocoder is adding the spooky digitized element the melody line (“don’t freak out and don’t resist…”) is where The Squip’s true colors are peeking through the façade just a little bit. By the time we get to “The Play” he’s given up on trying to seduce and is just trying to conquer, so his music sounds different.

The whole “Be More Chill” section is really just a classic “make-over montage” sequence (it’s even set at The Mall!) so I took some musical inspiration from make-over and training sequences as well. Think Karate Kid, Dirty Dancing, The Breakfast Club.

A lot of people are bothered by the harshness of the “everything about you makes me want to die” line. To me, that’s the whole point of the show. The tone may be comedic, but the characters in Be More Chill are actual teenagers struggling with actual problems. I don’t think being depressed or suicidal is a laughing matter, but I do think sometimes people feel like there is a voice inside their head telling them to hurt themselves. It would be insulting and untruthful to pretend that a kid like Jeremy wasn’t struggling with these thoughts. 

The humor, the fantasy, and the harsh reality co-exist in every moment of the show. And, in my experience, in every moment in life. It’s about learning how to deal with it and knowing which of the many voices in your head you’re supposed to listen to. But we’re not at that particular song yet.

“Do You Wanna Ride?” Written in [memory temporarily scrambled] I have no memory of writing this mini-song, it just happened. It didn’t exist and then it did. Look, I made a spicy song about stopping for frozen yogurt where there never was a spicy song about stopping for frozen yogurt. 

Lauren Marcus’s interpretation is a gift from the theatre gods and is a testimony to her brilliance as an actor, singer, comedian and all-around magic person. The yodel, the riff at the end, all Marcus. She’s the Goldie Hawn of musical theater. 

“Be More Chill – Part 2” When I stumbled upon the idea of the “Everything about you is going to be wonderful” section, that’s when the song really clicked for me. After being berated for all the things he isn’t, Jeremy finally gets teased with the promise of unadulterated love and adoration. It’s the false promise of spam emails about penis enlargement pills or the aspirational Instagram accounts of the Kardashians. The idea of: “If you just do This, everything will be Perfect.” The musical equivalent of “Make America Great Again.” Cheerful, optimistic, secretly sinister. The writing and performance make me think that it’s a theme song for an awful 1980s sitcom that never existed in the first place. “Everybody Loves Squips!” maybe.

Props to Dan McMillan for aggressively hitting that gong at the end for a big finish. 

“More Than Survive” (Reprise) Restart! The show essentially begins again and we fast forward through another day at school, this time with notes and instructions from Mr. Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor himself.

The chorus goes into a reggae feel for a few measures at one point. The idea there is that sometimes things are the same but feel a little different and you can’t quite put your finger on why. The familiar feels unsettling. Reggae is a style of music associated with Michael, so I like thinking that maybe Jeremy has Michael on his mind in that one instant before Squip wipes the slate clean.

“A Guy That I’d Kinda Be Into” Written in Ripley-Grier Studios 2015, during rehearsal This was the last song I wrote for the show. I wrote it very quickly on a rehearsal break after not being able to nail this moment for years. I love that Christine gets this unexpected jangly little rock song as her second big number. 

Have you ever noticed how the female lead in musicals is often saddled with the most drag-ass songs? Part of my mission in musical theater is to never subject my female lead to an unmotivated obligatory ballad. 

It should be noted that Christine ends both this tune and “I Love Play Rehearsal” with an unexpected non-rhyme. Christine is a character who subverts our expectations of her at every turn. Gosh, I like her. 

“The Squip Lurks”  I’m eternally grateful we got to include this taste of underscore on the album. I’ve heard rumors that this plays in theme parks during the Halloween season. That’s the highest honor I could ever receive. 

The track name is a reference to “The Shape Lurks” cue from the Halloween soundtrack. And, yes, “Jeremy’s Theme” is also a nod to “Laurie’s Theme.” 

“Upgrade”  Written at a Two River Theater writing retreat, 2014 // Re-written at Ripley Grier Studios 2015, during rehearsal

The line “this is my favorite place behind the school” is one of Joe Tracz’s great creations, delivered incomparably by Ms. Marcus. I don’t know why I find it so funny but I laugh every time I hear it. I think it reveals so much about Brooke.

The notes of “Upgrade-upgrade-upgrade” in the first part of the song are the same notes as the pattern that begins “More Than Survive.” They are just a little scrambled up. The melody of “I already know what it’s like to be the loser” is the “Apocalypse of the Damned” theme song melody.

This song is notable as the first time the character of Jake sings in the show. Poor Jakey D. This is the only musical in history where the classically good-looking Prince Charming-type gets the least amount to sing. I still like the guy, though. It’s another testament to the brilliant Joe Tracz that a character like Jake, who could’ve been a one-dimensional asshole jock, is actually a kind, well-meaning popular kid. Dude can’t help that he’s pretty! Jake Boyd’s vocals are so sensitive and approachable and kind of remind me of Mr. Peanut Butter from Bojack Horseman.

The final chorus of the song is the same melody but we lose the swing and make it more of a driving rock. Damn. Things got not cute quick.

This song used to end with a long minor version of the “Na Na Na” theme from “More Than Survive.” It was very musically exciting and too long and did nothing to service the story and was cut.

“Halloween” Written at a Two River Theater writing retreat 2014 The Halloween Party is a mammoth sequence that begins Act II and I knew it needed its own theme song. I wanted to write a chorus that sounded like what it feels like to be shoved around in loud, hot, crowded room. The sort of song that would send anyone with social anxiety into a full-blown panic attack.

The Suburban Halloween Party is such a hallmark of the movies myself and my collaborators were inspired by and we endeavored to do those films justice and make the greatest Halloween party blowout sequence in musical theater history. Please note that when we wrote the show, there weren’t actually any other musicals with Halloween Party blowout sequences, so just by existing, we were automatically the greatest. Now we’ve got some competition. How fetch! (Mean Girlsreference.) 

There’s an element of group awareness in the “Halloween” lyric. “Cuz a Halloween party’s a rad excuse to put your body through mad abuse.” That’s because we’re experiencing the party through Jeremy. This is his first big social event and as much as he’s trying to be part of it, he’s still on the outside. He’s got a detachment that allows for a bit of perspective.

The dance break was arranged by Broadway legend Rob Berman! He based the melody line on a part of “Halloween” that was subsequently cut. It’s the “who’s got the peach Schnapps?!” section. I often add it back in when I perform the song in concert. 

Props to Amanda Ruzza’s propulsive bass line! Crank it up, crank it up!

“Do You Wanna Hang?” “Do You Wanna Ride?” strikes back! With new lyrics relating to Chloe’s Sexy Baby costume! Katie Carlson is yet another four-leaf clover in our incredible cast of musical theater misfits. Chloe is hilarious and monstrous without ever being a cartoon. She’s trying her best, just like everyone else, she just has… questionable taste. I’m so enamored with the way Katie does the final “Do you wanna stop?!” chorus. I think in that moment Chloe is trying so hard to be Britney Spears circa 1998. Which would almost work if she wasn’t literally dressed as an infant. There’s something charming and a little sad and completely hilarious about it to me. 

We never actually address the fact that Chloe is dressed as a baby (well, a “sexy baby”) in the lyric. In two million years all that will be left of this world will be a fat cockroach, a copy of the Be More ChillOCR, and a few confused aliens wondering what she means by “get inside my diaper, boy.”

“Michael in the Bathroom” Written at Joe’s 43rd Street Apartment, 2014 Many times as a kid and even more times as an adult, I’ve fled to the bathroom to escape a social situation. It feels like one of those no-big-deal things that everyone does and those are the exact sort of scenarios I’m drawn to when writing musical theater.

I’ve always been partial to the “Best Friend” characters. I want to know more about them and never understand why they exist only in the context of the lead character. In every show I’ve written I’ve imagined that when a secondary character leaves the stage, they’re walking into another show where they’re the lead. “Michael in the Bathroom” is the moment when the ultimate sidekick is allowed to take center stage and be the star of someone else’s show. I hope it makes the audience think about all the other secondary characters in the show like Chloe or Rich. They’ve probably all had their own “Michael in the Bathroom” moments over the course of the show, we just don’t get to see them. Oh how I long to write “Jenna in Her Bedroom.” Or “Brooke in the Alley Next to Pinkberry.” Maybe for the sequel.

George Salazar’s performance of the song is magic. It’s one of those miracle moments when a song and a performer connect in a specific way. The music and lyrics are a road map, but there are so many people who make the journey of a song like this happen. It all came together through a collaboration between myself and Ned’s characters and Joe’s book and Stephen’s direction and Nathan Dame’s musical direction and Bobby Tilley’s costumes and every other element that goes in to making any moment of theater. 

George is the first person to sing “Michael in the Bathroom” in the show itself, but while I was developing the score, the song was sung out of context by a few gents including Jason Tam, Seth Eliser, and Will Roland. They taught me much about the tune and I bow down to them.

I wrote the song in one sitting in 2014 and the content never changed, aside from the cutting of a short third verse right after the bridge. We cut it late in the rehearsal process in deference to the “too much of a good thing can be dangerous” rule of theater.

A few people have questioned my use of humor in songs that are otherwise quite serious. “Why do you have jokes in such a powerful song?” an uptight professor once asked. “Why is this hilarious showtune so stinking sad?” a late-nite comedian queried over drinks at McHale’s. The intersection of the comedy and the tragedy feels true to the human experience. The absurdity of having to work through things at the Worst Possible Moment is something I’ve experienced many times. Things are rarely all good or all bad but things are always messy. You find out you got into your dream school while you’re high at your racist grandfather’s funeral. You have to audition for a role on Stranger Things the same day that a mountain lion eats the family dog. (RIP Spot.) You have a panic attack while wearing a Halloween costume after fighting with your possessed best friend in the bathroom of High School Halloween Party. It’s all so forlorn and confusing and funny. To me at least. 

Charlie and I worked closely getting the arrangement just right. We wanted it to ebb and flow and sound like a pop song at first, never giving away that it will eventually turn into this tour-de-force musical theatre mad scene. I like when orchestration is at odds with the content of a song and doesn’t immediately announce what the song is about.

After going on this monumentally poignant journey, Michael undercuts it all with a spot of sarcasm, carrying on the great tradition of musical theatre characters who don’t really mean it when they say “I’m so glad I came.” (Follies reference.) The whole thing ends with the most sardonic cha-cha-cha ever to button a number.

“The Smartphone Hour (Rich Set A Fire)” Written at Ripley-Grier Studios, 2014 Jenna Rolan finally gets her moment of glory, unexpectedly, as the star of a seven-minute dance number. Katie Ladner’s turn as Jenna is so specific and inventive. She deflects the casual barbs thrown at her because she is not letting anyone ruin the time she gets to shine. 

I set out to write a song that dramatizes and activates the dangerous world that the Be More Chill characters exist in. We spend so much time with our kind, sensitive protagonists, it’s easy to forget the madness they are living in. It’s hard to be a teenager, especially today. It’s a menacing world where information travels at warp speed. As does gossip, rumors, insults, lies, etc. To me, “The Smartphone Hour” speaks to the ferociousness of modern teenagers and shines a light on the sort of environment that leads to bullying and depression and worse.

It’s also a splashy musical comedy dance number! I wanted it to feel overlong and unreasonably gargantuan. I thought for sure some smart theatre artist along the way would force me to cut this song. I decided I was going to fight for it. It may not cover a ton of story ground, but I felt that it was imperative to have the number in the show. It sets the audience up for the craziness that’s about to happen in Act II and lets us know that things have spun out of control—both in the story and in the show itself. I think subconsciously, the audience thinks: “A dance number about arson?! The rules of the show are changing! I hope nothing unexpected happens to the characters I love! They wouldn’t kill off Jeremy, would they? Well, if I’m watching a dance number about arson anything is possible! Oh no! #SaveJeremy!” 

Luckily, I never had to fight for the song. As soon as Chase Brock got his hands on it, he made it longer, in deference to the “too much of a good thing can be wonderful” rule of theater. Rob Berman’s arrangement of the dance break sounds like a sleepover from hell on crack and Charlie’s smartphone sounds bear more than a striking resemblance to the sort of sounds normally associated with the sinister Squip. Gossip is Evil, kids.

I really feel like we made the best Michael Bennett number Michael Bennett never choreographed. The final shouted: “End!” was all Chase’s idea and I love it so much. It’s a moment that lives in the real estate between musical theater Cheese Ball and rock’n’roll Middle Finger. A neighborhood I often hang my hat in.

The notes of the phone buttons that are heard after “he told me cuz he’s my best friend” are, once again, the same notes as the “More Than Survive” intro figure. Just reversed this time.

The title is an obvious reference to “The Telephone Hour” from Bye Bye Birdie. “Rich…” is by no means a parody of that song, but I think they are spiritual cousins. It’s another example of Be More Chill having a foot in the past and a foot in the future. 

“The Pitiful Children” Written at Joe’s 47th Street Apartment, 2013 / Joe’s 43rd Street Apartment, 2014–2015 / Ripley-Grier Studios and Two River Theater 2015, during rehearsals Oh, heavens, this song. The lyrics of this song changed a ton over the course of the rehearsal process and I never got it quite right. I love it on the album. It sounds like what would’ve happened if Marilyn Manson and Nine Inch Nails wrote Les Misérables. Alas, dramaturgically, I don’t think I did a great job of telling the story that Joe Tracz laid out. Don’t be surprised if this one gets fiddled with in anticipation of our forthcoming Be More Chill off-Broadway production.

The orchestration of this song is one of my favorites in the whole show. It pushes The Squip firmly into digitized-demon territory. He’s worrying less about seducing people in this number and he’s letting his true colors show. His true colors are cold, industrial, heavy, and militaristic. There’s no question that this Squip has his sights set on world domination.

I like using lyrics that work dramatically and stylistically. The Squip’s ��beep-bop-boop” is literally him speaking in his native computerized tongue, but it also conjures up images of an old-fashioned crooner scatting. It’s connected to Jeremy’s “C-c-c-cmon” and the Ensemble’s “Hey hey hey” and all the rest of it.

“The Pants Song” Written at Joe’s Family’s house on Long Island, 2014 My experience writing this song is very much an example of the comic/tragic thing that I often love to write about. 

I had tried to write a song for Jeremy’s Dad for the longest time and could never crack it. Joe Tracz said to me: “I just wish Jeremy’s Dad could have a song about the lesson he learns. That if you love somebody, you put your pants on for them.” Essentially, I am an idea thief. I immediately knew that sentence was a song, I just didn’t know how to write it. We were doing a developmental reading of the show and I was feeling the pressure. There was a date I needed to have the song in by and I had nothing. The day before I needed to have the song, I decided that after rehearsal I was going to have a drink with my best friend Jason SweetTooth Williams and then go home and write the song. And then my Grandma died. After a long illness, my grandmother Flora (RIP Flora) left this damned earth at the Iconis home on Long Island. I needed and wanted to be with my family. After doing all the things that you do when a loved one dies, I went downstairs to my family’s basement at 2 AM and wrote “The Pants Song” in one shot. Sometimes you have to write a song about two guys in their underpants on the night your beloved grandma dies.

Paul Whitty starts in such a forlorn, hurt place at the top of this song. I bet the audience thinks this is going to be a perfect-time-for-a-cigarette-break “sad dad” number and then it turns into a total bop. Much like the “We love everything about you…” section of “Be More Chill,” this was another song that I wanted to feel like a rockin’ version of the theme song from a 1980’s sitcom. Only difference is, the mythical sitcom that “We love everything about you…” comes from is phony and corporate and the “Pants Song” show is heartfelt and cool, Must See TV material.

There used to be a song for Jeremy’s Dad earlier in the show called “The No Pants Song,” where he extolled the virtues of not getting dressed. It was a sad, lazy waltz. The whole thing was one-joke, but I did love the final stanza:

ALL THE EXERTION OF PUTTING ON, THEN TAKING OFF JUST TO PUT BACK ON SEEMS TERRIBLY UNNECCESSARY TO ME WOULDN’T YOU SAY? I’M FINE WITH A Y-FRONT COVERING MY FRONT EVERY DAY

It should be noted that many of my musicals feature moments of pantslessness for male characters. This feels fitting as I am often pantsless when I write said musicals. Write what you know, Joe. (ReWrite reference.)

This is the only song in Be More Chill that features a big, in-your-face key change. I’m normally very discreet about my key changes, but a tasteless shift up a step for two men dancing in their undies feels earned. 

The in-store music playing in the background of The Mall sequence is actually a Muzak version of “The Pants Song.” The moment I wrote the tune I knew it was destined to be the annoying music played on a loop in the atrium of a mall. The sort of irritating ear worm that slowly drives the employees of Payless and Sbarro’s mad.

“The Play” As a kid who spent hours listening to the big action-packed climaxes of the Sweeney Todd OCR, the Sunset Blvd. OCR, and the Carrie soundboard bootleg (thanks, 1996 Playbill Online message boards for making that one happen!), I’m so thrilled we got to include ours on the album. The underscore is straight-up cinematic, with all the themes of the past two hours crashing into each other like violent zombie bumper cars.

A few people have asked me if the cascading downward piano line in “The Play” is referencing “Suppertime” from Little Shop of Horrors. While the two riffs sound similar I was actually alluding to, you guessed it, John Carpenter film scores. The 5/4 time signature and downward modulation are dead giveaways. But I do agree that the line sounds not dissimilar to “Suppertime,” which is fine by me! Little Shop was my first musical and has clearly influenced me in countless ways as a writer, especially on Be More Chill. 

The “Michael makes an entrance” line came late in the game and is a testament to the “sometimes the best thing a writer can do is just musicalize the stage direction” rule of theater. 

One of my favorite bits of orchestral business is the twisted music box version of the “More Than Survive” chorus. Hella Danny Elfman. (Shout out to Rich’s Nightmare Before Christmas belt buckle! The 1990’s are alive and well and living inside my musical.)

The “Squip Death” section was hatched by Eric William Morris and myself in the basement dressing rooms of Two River Theater. It’s hard to make out, but as the Squip is destructing he’s speaking Japanese. The Japanese was translated by my bestie-since-fourth-grade Michael Ettannani. We’ve all got our Michaels.

“Voices In My Head” Written at a Two River Theater writing retreat, 2015

The point of Be More Chill is that we’re always going to have voices in our head, both good and bad, telling us what to do. The trick is to figure out which ones to listen to. The fear and doubt and anger and anxiety never really go away, but you can find a way to manage them. At one point in our process Joe Tracz articulated this by saying: “At the end of the show, there are still voices in his head, but the loudest one is Jeremy’s.” Yet again, I am a lowdown dirty idea thief. I stole Joe’s words and turned them into our finale.

Since the show begins and ends with ensemble numbers led by Jeremy, I thought this was a nice opportunity to chart our leading man’s growth. I wanted the vibe of the chorus to be different from “More Than Survive.” It’s more laidback, it’s more confident, it’s more playful. It’s more (ahem) chill. Even when the Ensemble kicks in with the “Na’s Na’s” from the beginning of the show, it’s less aggressive than it used to be. There’s harmony and everyone’s singing together instead of singing at each other.

It was important to all of the creators of the show that the triumph of our show not be that Jeremy gets with Christine. The personal triumph for him is that he’s able to deal with his “stuff” enough to have a normal-person conversation with her. I don’t know if Jeremy ends up with Christine after the events of Be More Chill. Maybe he does. Maybe he ends up with Michael. Maybe he ends up with no one. It really doesn’t matter. What matters is that he has figured out that his voice is one that is worthy of being listened to. And that allows him to get on with his life and move forward. All of the characters being together shouting “C’mon, let’s go!” is a triumph to me. They don’t know what’s next, but they’re going to go through it together. An army of Creeps, taking on the world hand in hand.

Robert Altman used to talk about how he never understood why movies ended with weddings. Why is the story over just because two people kiss? There are no real endings in life except, maybe, death. Musically, I didn’t want the show to end with a big held-out chord or with arms-around-each-other “it’s all gonna be alright!” sweetness. I wanted the very end to feel raucous and alive and like the music is tumbling toward something. Toward the future.

The joke of the ending is that even though the kids at Middleborough deactivated The Squip and prevented a total take-over, chances are good that all of the neighboring high schools have been completely taken over. No one is safe, all we can do is prepare ourselves as best we can. They may offer you fortune and fame. Love and money and instant acclaim. But whatever they offer you don’t feed the… Squips? Sorry, wrong show. Smiley face, lipstick, kitty paw.

[riddlerosehearts]

OC ask game!

i was tagged by @nerdalmighty! tysm for tagging me! 💖

going to talk about my tav, elenion, and will try not to ramble too much about them!

do they have any special hobbies or skills?

well, aside from being a skilled musician (he is a bard, after all), i guess the main thing would be that he's also a great storyteller! and he's very passionate about history and anthropology, so he reads and researches a lot and uses topics like historical figures and folk tales as inspiration for songs to write and stories to tell. needless to say the adventure he ends up on during the game gives him plenty of material, lol. OH and they've always had an affinity for the night sky and loved stargazing as well due to the influence of their mother, who's an astronomer.

do they have any unique scars, marks, or tattoos?

hmm, i don't imagine that they do! so i'll answer an extra question at the end since i don't have much of an answer for this one lol

what's their fighting style? do they stick to the back and wait for a strategic opening, or charge in guns blazing?

oh, they definitely try and stick to the back or the sidelines and rely on ranged spells and crowd control abilities, while also doing everything they can to buff their allies/debuff their enemies. they're very overly cautious because of something that happened in their past--specifically, they've always believed that their own lack of caution while using fire magic during a performance caused their father's death. so in combat they want to be able to keep their distance and carefully plan and strategize as much as possible.

what does their tent look like? what do they keep inside it?

ooh okay so i've actually thought a bit about this already because i came across a fun little template on here for describing your tav's tent and i kept meaning to fill it out. i even looked at photos of tents on pinterest for it and i decided that elenion's would have a design similar to this, but imagine all the gold accents are silver instead. inside, he'd keep his lute or his lyre (whichever one he's not using at the moment) and probably other instruments the party finds on the journey, alongside a big pile of books. included among that pile are several journals he's filled with a combination of song lyrics and research notes and random personal thoughts, and his father's old songbook which he carries with him wherever he goes. he's also got a small music box, and some skin/haircare products because yes he's on a super dangerous journey and has a parasite in his brain to worry about, but if he doesn't at least try to take care of his appearance he's sure he'll go insane faster than you could say "ceremorphosis".

they'd also have a little exterior area that's similar to shadowheart's--some nice decorative pillows and a stool beside a table with a quill and inkpot, even more books and journals stacked up, and sheet music on a tabletop stand. everything they need to be able to sit under the stars while they attempt to relax or work on things. they have their own telescope too, but unlike gale's, theirs is a much more compact telescope that's meant for travel. and finally they've been accumulating a small collection of artifacts that they find while traveling and think are interesting!

...and now i've just rambled on a bunch about what might be in my character's tent LOL, whoops! i'm adding one additional question and then i'll be done.

what song represents them best?

i've been listening to pluto by sleeping at last a lot lately because it makes me think of elenion, so i'm going to say that one! to explain why as briefly as possible, by the start of the game he's been very much stuck in his past and in self-destructive patterns for a long time and throughout the game's story he realizes that he needs to let go and break those patterns if he ever wants to actually heal and be happy. so i think this song represents that really well.

tagging @smooti if you'd like to do this for your tav, but no pressure! i don't have a lot of bg3 mutuals and i'm not sure who else has OCs for it that they'd like to talk about! so if anyone sees this and wants to participate just say i tagged you.

my questions for your OCs:

Where is your OC from?

Do they have a romantic partner (or multiple partners), and if so then what first drew them to their partner?

Do they have any unique scars, marks, or tattoos?

What does their tent look like? What do they keep inside it?

(you can also answer any of the other ones that i answered above if you'd like to!)

[imagitory]

Not to bag on Wish when it’s become so ridiculously popular to do…but I watched the Wish promotional preshow at California Adventure’s World of Color: Season of Light not too long ago and it really accented why I think the soundtrack just didn’t resonate with general audiences as much as a lot of Disney’s other faire —

Because here’s the thing: I like This Wish as a song. I like several songs from the movie — a lot. I even have them on my ITunes and listen to them on the regular! And this is while finding the finished movie distinctly ehhhh. But it’s important to remember who wrote these songs — not musical theater or even film scoring people, but pop composers Julia Michaels and Benjamin Rice. And no, this is NOT a problem by itself — Elton John and Phil Collins were brought on-board the musician teams for other Disney projects, and there were plenty of Tin Pan Alley and contemporary artists brought on board to help score other films, like Peggy Lee for Lady and the Tramp. But it is important to remember how very different writing songs for the music industry is from writing songs for a film or theatrical production.

In musical theater as well as in most successful musical films, each song is very much custom-tailored for a very specific character or group of characters in a very specific scene in a very specific story in a very specific environment. It is used to communicate a lot that the film/theater medium can’t do easily. In the case of theater specifically, it can help flesh out the setting in the case of sparse set dressing, but in both cases it can help with transitioning scenes and give us a closer look into the psyche of the character(s), since unlike in a book, we can’t read their internal thoughts to know how they feel about something. And without the story giving proper context, generally the song doesn’t make as much sense. Yes, there are a few classic Disney songs like A Dream is A Wish Your Heart Makes that can be divorced more easily from their context than others, but could you do the same for the Mice’s Song or Bippidi Boppidi Boo? Perhaps Can You Feel the Love Tonight? can easily be parsed out of The Lion King by removing the intro/outro with Timon and Pumbaa, but not so much with songs like Hakuna Matata and Be Prepared. With most truly successful Disney soundtracks, like the ones for Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Beauty and the Beast, Encanto or even Mary Poppins — the ones people remember in their entirety — you can’t tell those stories well without the songs, and the songs likewise can’t be completely stripped of their original context. And in the case of Tarzan’s soundtrack, where the music is more easily divorced from the movie’s story, it’s not a traditional musical where characters belt their feelings out through song; instead the songs are used more like accompaniment for a scene, like songs placed over certain film scenes to evoke mood or connect disparate scenes together in a montage, rather than the centerpiece. (Not to mention that both Elton John and Phil Collins collaborated with Lebo M/Hans Zimmer and Mark Mancina, respectively, in order to integrate instruments and sounds that would evoke their film’s settings and sew the melodies of their lyrical numbers into the full film score.)

Contrast this with the kind of music you’d hear on the radio, and pop music in particular. In this field, you’re generally not writing a song for a specific character or group of characters, but rather to appeal to as many different people as possible. You generally want the person listening to the song to identify with the words themselves — to place themselves in the role of the singer — not use the song to help tell a story about someone else. So usually it’s more favorable to keep a pop song’s lyrics vague and more focused on general emotions about a situation rather than anything specific, so as to make it easier for many different kinds of people to see themselves and their own experiences in what’s being sung. This is what prompts emotions out of your audience, for the pop music industry -- the feeling of "Yes! These words speak to me!", whether because you relate to them or they inspire you as an individual.

Kind of like Disney’s park music.

Compare I'm a Star or At All Costs to the music for the Happily Ever After fireworks show or Start a Wave from World of Color: One. They’re much closer in vibe to those tracks in my opinion than to a lot of Disney’s other movie musical work. Hell, even the Sherman Brothers’ work like There’s a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow and It’s a Small World are much more about theme and emotion rather than plot!

This doesn’t make the songs in Wish bad, necessarily — that’s definitely much more up to personal opinion. I would just argue the music style isn’t as effective in telling a story as it is in just inspiring emotions in people. It’s like how Russell Crowe, who sings in a band, still wasn’t the best fit in a lot of people’s minds to sing in the film adaptation of an operatic Broadway musical like Les Miserables. And of course considering that Disney hyped Wish and its music up so much with its marketing beforehand, it makes sense that some Disney fans — and Disney musical fans in particular — had such a dramatic reaction to the finished result. Regardless of the quality of the songs on their own, they weren’t what audiences expected and in some cases really wanted from a Disney musical movie. And since Disney and music have gone so hand-in-hand for so long, with Uncle Walt himself remarking multiple times about how important it was that any music should help tell the story, it is an understandable thing to get hung up on.

[sea-changed]

I’m increasingly interested in Parade not only as a piece of historical fiction but also as a piece of historiography in its own right--I was lucky enough to attend a show that included a talkback afterward with Jason Robert Brown, Alfred Uhry, Ben Platt, and Micaela Diamond, and something I can’t stop thinking about is JRB mentioning that the definitive historical work on the Frank case wasn’t published until 2001, several years after Parade’s first Broadway run, and even longer after Brown and Uhry began writing it. JRB talked about reading the book and thinking, “well, that would’ve been nice to know!” (his words) about parts of it.

He also talked about how Ben and Micaela and people of their generation know about the Leo Frank case specifically because of the musical--that popular memory has not preserved it outside this one particular telling of it. (This is of course a simplistic reading of it, and not many people know about Parade either quite frankly, but nonetheless.)

And then, of course, there is the information that the show itself tells us at both beginning and end: that Frank was pardoned in the 1980s without a referendum on his guilt one way or the other, and that the case was reopened in 2019 and the investigation is still ongoing. In many ways Parade is not historical fiction in a traditional sense, because it is not commenting on and interpreting a historical event, but rather litigating a still literally active case, and the production doesn’t shy away from this or the politics of the work (the projection of the historical marker before the show even starts, the ending information on the ongoing case, Senator Warnock’s recording at the beginning, even the ongoing and I thought quite clunky projections of the real historical figures throughout the show). And this was of course brought home especially chillingly by the neo-Nazi protests at the first preview, as well.

Parade is not historically accurate, and I believe was not even accurate to what Brown and Uhry knew when writing it (though I need to do further research about this). But also, this particular brand of historical fiction throws into doubt the very concept of “historical accuracy,” I think--no telling of the Frank story can be historically accurate by traditional standards I think (though of course it can still be more or less accurate based upon the information we have available). I also learned at the talkback that Uhry’s great-uncle was the manager of the factory where Frank was a supervisor--so certainly he isn’t coming to the material from a more traditional, secondary source-based historical fiction perspective.

I’ve drifted somewhat from my point, and at the end of the day I’m slightly unsure as to what my point really is, but--despite that Parade cannot be classed as a piece of historical scholarship, which it certainly is not, I do wonder if it can be classed either as historical fiction per se, and I’m trying to grapple with how it might be situated within the historiography of the Frank case given its own situation and the uniquely unsettled historiography of the Frank case to begin with.

[booksandabeer]

Daisy Jones & The Six - First impressions

I'm still sick in bed, so I just watched the first three episodes of Daisy Jones & The Six in one go. I'm also cranky and tired and bored, so here have some unfiltered opinions.

Overall, it's a fun watch, very entertaining, beautifully filmed with great production design and set dressing, some intriguing performances (Camila Morrone, who would've thought?), and way-better-than-expected original music. It's also a very safe show. Now, I haven't read the book, so I don't know if the show merely works with what's on the page or if they toned things down considerably, but everything here seems so carefully designed to not offend anyone. Every once in a while the show will gesture towards issues like drug abuse/addiction, racism, or the absolutely rampant sexism and misogyny of the Rock'n'Roll & Groupie culture of the era, but every time they're getting close to actually saying something about it, they back down again.

The thing is, I can't even really focus on the actual contents of the show because I'm so hung up on some of the visual aspects of it (also I'm on a lot of antibiotics and pain medication right now, so you know, please feel free to disregard anything I'm saying here). I said this back when I saw the first teaser for this, and having watched three episodes now, I maintain that everybody here looks too clean, too healthy, too put together--especially for people who are supposed to be drunk/high 24/7--and everybody's teeth and hair are just way too nice. Well, except for when they put certain actors in wigs... and then it's even worse. Like, really Amazon? ALL that money and you couldn't find Timothy Olyphant a wig that doesn't look like glued-together shavings of an old Chewbacca costume?

Also, and I'm very sorry but it needs to be said, Sam Claflin is all kinds of wrong for the role of Billy and should've never been cast in it. For one thing, he's visibly too old for the part; at one point, he's supposed to be around 21 years old, I think? Sam Claflin is a very handsome man, but he cannot pass as a guy that only *just* left his teenage years behind. And that's not on him. I like Claflin and I don't fault him for wanting to take this part (which actor wouldn't?), but I don't understand how seemingly no one with any pull in this multi-million dollar production looked at that casting choice and said "Uhm, guys? Maybe we should reconsider?" There are other problems with the performance, but I'm not here to bash one actor, especially one that I've generally enjoyed watching in other parts.

However, I think the even bigger problem is that I don't get the character of Billy at all, or more specifically, why everyone thinks that this guy of all people is some sort of hypermagnetic, genius Jim Morrison/Lindsey Buckingham hybrid? Because what I've seen so far looks more like a moderately ambitious, moderately talented guy who's simply in over his head and doesn't really care either way whether he makes it as a big Rock'n'Roll Star or not. Where's the drive? Where's the fire? I don't see it, which is kind of a problem when your whole show hinges on your two main characters being charisma machines that the audience is supposed to be absolutely enthralled by.

I would be really interested to know what people who have read the book think of this adaptation. Is it successful and true to the text? Am I'm just wildly off the mark here? Is it good, bad, or just okay? And most importantly, should I read this book?

Ok, going back to sleep now.

[dk-wren]

Rogers: The Musical First Impressions

Just finished watching a recording of Rogers: The Musical, which I am so happy to finally say, is currently running at the Hyperion Theatre inside Disney's California Adventure theme park on select days through Aug. 31st!

While subject to change, Rogers: The Musical will typically run from Tuesday to Saturday, with performances at 12:30, 2:00, 4:00, and 5:30

Here is a link to the recording I watched, but there are already plenty of videos of the whole show to choose from. Just thought I'd include it since my thoughts may be specific to what I saw in this video.

Summary of Final thoughts: I was very excited about this musical actually becoming a real thing and being developed more. Additionally, I was super interested to see if Disney tried to develop it as a serious musical or leaned more into the satire and comedy of "Save the City." Bottom line, I had so much fun watching it and thoroughly enjoyed it. I am a huge theatre fan, so definitely have a few critiques, but given its constraints, for a first production, really great.

And now, if you are interested, here is my long list of more in depth first impressions/thoughts:

Even based solely on what's been adapted in the MCU, there's still a lot of history that could be covered in a musical about Steve Rogers, which this musical does attempt to cover. So, the pacing is pretty quick.

It's kinda like a slideshow where you see the snapshots, but not the details. The only times it felt like I had a break to just sit and be in the moment was during the songs/musical numbers. Now, I don't think I can necessarily say this is a negative since it is only a 35 minute musical. I just had to sorta shift my expectations.

Building off of that, for a 35 minute, theme park musical, I'd say it's pretty darn good. It had less base material compared to Aladdin or Frozen (the previous two musicals staged in the Hyperion Theatre) that could easily translate to the stage, which allowed this creative team to have a lot of freedom in how to adapt this story for the stage. And, honestly, I really enjoyed their choices.

It's Disney and it's their theme parks. Avengers Campus is literally steps away from this theatre, so they absolutely could have gone all in in designing beautifully elaborate costumes, specifically the super hero suites. But they didn't, and I kinda liked it. Part of the decision for the actors' costumes to look more like everyday clothing likely comes from the design choices made for "Save the City" when it appeared in Hawkeye, but also, if the Captain America walk-around costume was to be the one used in this musical, I feel it would actually look a little out of place. I enjoyed how the costumes weren't one-to-one reproductions, but rather representations of each character and their signature look. You can still clearly tell who is who, but it matches the more minimalist style of the stage design too.

Loved The Starkettes! In terms of costuming, loved how their looks changed between the 40s/USO look and the modern day/business look to reflect the setting. I'm debating if I want to refer to them as the narrators or the chorus, but either way, loved their interactions with the Marvel characters and responses to certain lines in the show.

At least from this video, the projections and digital backdrops looked well done. Loved how there was not an emphasis on making like Times Square look hyper-realistic.

I don't think I'd say the digital backgrounds looked cartoonish, especially in a bad way, but there definitely is an aspect to them that's meant to be stylized. Again, this then compliments the design choices of like 3 comic book covers and that whole sequence about Steve fighting in WWII.

I could be wrong, but Rogers seems to have a smaller cast than Aladdin or Frozen. Absolutely loved their performances, but sometimes it felt like the stage was a little too big or too bare for the size of the ensemble/cast (could also be due to having minimal set pieces). - This is meant as an observation not as a critique

During the scene in which Steve and Peggy are chatting about going dancing before he crashes the plane into the ice, that conversation was translated into a song. And in my head, I was like YES!!! That's how you do a musical adaptation. You take those iconic and emotionally charged lines and put them to music.

Like I said at the very beginning, there's a lot that could be covered in a musical about Steve Rogers, so I kinda appreciated how there was like a mini reprise or continuation of "Save the City" as announcements came about attacks in different locations, which corresponds to all or most of the movies Captain America has been in. It reminded me of "Drive" from The Lightning Thief of quickly condensing a bunch of events/locations into the span of a few minutes, something the musical needed given its runtime.

This way, it acknowledges those events rather than completely ignoring them, but doesn't spend a whole lot of time with each one. The way I interpreted it too, when Cap sings the very last "I can do this all day," it then feels kinda somber in that he is reflecting on having to continuously fight in all these battles, with the expectation of always "saving the city." Plus, I thought it was a great transition to the next song, which in all honesty, I could not tell from the video if it was meant to be pre-serum or old Steve.

Loved how everyone came back out in the end for the finale (it's like memory lane)

Hoping to see it in person. This recording just confirmed to me that I am going to have a good time. Literally, big smile on my face, quietly cheering and whooping throughout the show, I'm just so excited to (hopefully) go to the theatre for a purely fun/good time.

[mlobsters]

supernatural s8e12 as time goes by (w. adam glass)

now that i'm totally bummed out with all the john talk, cain and abel bloodline, etc etc... you better not be making this a rehabbing john winchester episode :p

DEAN Yeah, right. Seriously? Dudes time-travelling through motel-room closets? That's what we've come to?

uh huh

DEAN Yeah, well, either way, Dad hated the son of a bitch. SAM And Dad made up for that how? By being father of the year?

haha, louder for the people in the back!!

DEAN Look, Dad had his issues, okay, but he was always there for us.

EXCUSE ME. dean, no, we know better than this. he was literally, canonically, very often NOT THERE FOR YOU. as kids, as adults. oh my god. haha whisper yelling at dean through the screen.

a) the only reason i know the name abaddon is from the book abaddon's gate by james sa corey, which the series it's in got turned into an excellent show that's one of my favorites as well, the expanse. so, learn something new every day, didn't know it was a angel/demon/bible/pit thing

b) i have forgotten after reading the abaddon wiki article. oh right, men of letters, this is funny. i'm well familiar loosely with them, the bunker, etc via fic. but just set dressing. had no idea the backstory

ay this cheesy rousing music while henry waxes poetic about the glory that is the men of letters and their family legacy. cannot

he went on a little face journey here that was like flirty appreciative, to a little surprised and sadconcerned? haha i could project thoughts all over that, wonder what that was about

oh oh john got traumatized by his father abandoning him which was actually a demon's, a knight of hell specifically, fault. the rehabilitation :P

HENRY John was a legacy. I was supposed to teach him the ways of the Letters. DEAN Well, he learned things a little differently. HENRY How? DEAN The hard way. Surviving a lonely childhood, a stinking war... only to get married and have his wife taken by a demon... and later killed by one himself. That man got a bum rap around every turn. But you know what? He kept going. And in the end, he did a hell of a lot more good than he did bad.

he did good in the world. and he neglected and traumatized his children. it's hard for me to go macro when the results of the micro are splashing around the pool of their trauma daily in front of my face. i know dean is feeling defensive and protective and etc etc.

the mismatch of the outside of the motel and the downright fancy inside is weird. this whole thing is kinda weird. don't be weird, time traveling grandpa

same, dean, same.

i think a lot of what kills the production value in the newer seasons is how evenly and boringly lit so much of it is. yeah the first seasons were often too dark, but at least they used shadows to their full effect. it was interesting! look at the lighting in the this random scene in a motel in s1e4 phantom traveler

and the slow pan with the exposed leg lol different universe. anyway i scrubbed through literally e1-4 to find that damned scene. desaturated grainy deliciousness. so much more atmosphere

DEAN Listen, I understand that this is not your idea of a happy ending, okay, and that – that you're disappointed that me and Sam are mouth-breathing hunters. But you know what? We stopped the Apocalypse.

there you go, tell him! y'all did some shit and without the resources or education availed to him

DEAN (on phone) Sammy? ABADDON (on phone) No. Much sexier. Try again. DEAN (on phone) Abaddon. ABADDON (on phone) Good boy. Now listen up – I want to make a good, old-fashioned horse trade. Henry and the key for your brother. Or he dies. Am I clear?

the makeup/fake tan on jackles is just so sad and distracting

DEAN Henry, you need to understand something. When my dad died, I couldn't save him… no matter how bad I wanted to. I never want that to happen to Sam… ever. If there's a chance that I can save him, I'm gonna do it. He's my brother. He's the only family I got.

ps we've both died a bunch and i have personally resurrected him before sooo

i'm sorry dude but this is just a lot

SAM I get it now. DEAN Hmm? SAM What Cupid said about heaven busting ass to get Mom and Dad together. The Winchesters and the Campbells – the brains and the brawn. DEAN Well, I'm glad you see it. All I see in our family tree is a whole lot of dead.

mmmk. the whole thing feels very.. tacked on. like they just introduced this whole chunk of magic users wholecloth and wedged it in with a very flimsy excuse as to why it was nonexistent prior to this

SAM You think it would have made a difference? DEAN What? SAM Dad. If he'd had his own father around. DEAN What, in how he raised us? Sammy, he did the best he could. SAM I know that. I – I do. They all did.

sometimes the best you can do is recognize that you don't have the means to raise these kids and maybe someone else in the family would be better suited and willing. like hey. bobby perhaps. blargh. gets my parenting hackles up. and like i've said before, they can feel what they wanna feel and it's good if they're at peace with it, but don't try to sell me on john being a good dad, actually :p

my tolerance for bad plot shit is high, i am a fan of teen wolf (and the killing s2 i'm looking at you) after all. but it is still a bummer

[zannolin]

4 7 AND 17!!!! -kai

HI KAI my beloved thank youuuu <3

4. Do you prefer writing multi-chapter or oneshot fanfictions?

oneshots full stop. okay well rolling stop. i love multi-chapters in theory but my god i hate the execution they take SO long to write and i have to keep so much straight and i have to pick CHAPTER TITLES and have you noticed how people are the worst about commenting on multichaps? if you post a oneshot people seem to be more likely to leave you a lovely comment with all their thoughts. post a multichapter and people won't comment 'til it's over or just leave a one-line comment like "can't wait til there's more!!" and it's like why did i even put in all this work if it was miserable to write and there's no joy in posting HUH. but also i do love when i have like one person i know is reading it and i have a reveal happening at some point or a crazy cliffhanger and i get to see their reaction to it. moth's reactions to the fey au were very fun back in the day. so yeah i'm a oneshot girlie but i keep writing ill-advised multi-chapters and telling myself "this time it will be different" (it is not different the best it gets is subreddits calling your fic "super underrated" which is not actually the compliment people think it is).

7. What’s a trope you love to write?

love to write a good college fic. found family, of course, is a big one. and hurt/comfort is my beloved.

17. Are there any writers and/or stories that you consider an influence?

writers (fic): @/rebelpeas, @/eirianerisdar, meri, laquearia, @/rarilight, @/blusandbirds, aknightley, YouAreInAComaWakeUp writers (other): maggie stiefvater, tamsyn muir, t kira madden, carmen maria machado, my sister, ann patchett, kristen arnett, edgar allen poe, lemony snicket, tolkien (obligatory), shel silverstein, probably wayne thomas batson unfortunately

stories (not book specific): the scorpio races, the secret life of bees, the twistrose key, the polar express (2004), fnaf, the oz books, home alone 2: lost in new york (1992), parallelograms by agrestenoir, pins and needles by mutterandmumble, national treasure (2004), the truman show (1998), the half of it (2020), frances ha (2012), the goose girl by shannon hale, the starcatchers series, the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe, the haunting of hill house (2018), mabel podcast, welcome to night vale podcast, alice isn't dead podcast, the odd life of timothy green (2012), moulin rouge! (2001), the spiderwick chronicles, over the garden wall (2014), the x-files, object 3921.0045.371, catalog entry by wrishwrosh, this one (well, one and a half) christmas musical production the church where i live put on (that i was in fun fact) that involved two characters reuniting after like 30 years that left an unbelievable impact on my 12 y/o brain, mlp:fim, and star trek....to name a few.

i feel like that explains both everything and nothing about my writing.

ask game!!