#I have one exam tomorrow and two on monday... isn’t it so lovely <3

[souvenir116]

clock literally only passing one minute midnight* happy birthday to me 🥳🥳

[hikarimiyanaga]

Loving You (Part 5)

Part 1 I Part 2 I Part 3 I Part 4

Because exams make me stressed. But I did get through some of them. And I think I only have one more to go! So here comes an update!

Warning : Omegaverse. Beta!Reader x Omega!Wanda Maximoff. Curse Words. Mentions of Bullying. Indication of Self-Harm.

Also, just tell me if I need to add more warnings so I can edit as quickly as I can.

Taglist : @mitchiesdungeon / @upsidedowndanvers / @trikruismybitch / @fayhar / @madamevirgo

-

Monday comes and you stretch your body. You were spent yesterday. There was an emergency at the firm, so your Mom and your sisters had to be there. So you spent half of the day cleaning the house with your Ma but then she also had to go because the emergency got bigger so you had to go do all the cleaning and chores by yourself. You also didn’t get to talk to Wanda because your phone was inside your room all day. The morning was a blur and you snap out of your daze when someone talks to you.

“Did I do something wrong?” Wanda asks before you could even go to your locker. You furrow your eyebrows and shake your head.

“What? No.”

“Then why didn’t you talk with me yesterday?” You yawn.

“Do I have to?” Wanda gets taken aback as you push past her. She looks shocked at your question. She thought that things were going well? Did she really do something wrong? She clutches her chest as she goes to her first class. Pietro pushes you away from your locker and you let him. It was like the old times where people just shove you or push you.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you an idiot?” You don’t answer. You just get your book and close your locker. “Y/LN!” He grabs your arm and you have had enough.

You haven’t had enough sleep.

Your body hurts like someone just smashed it with a sledgehammer.

People are suddenly talking to you.

Your own family doesn’t trust you.

Janine just tried to bully you again last week. You had a nightmare about all the things she had done last year.

You got mad so suddenly because people think you’re trying something when you just want a quiet life.

You’re falling faster and you can’t risk it if Wanda is not your soulmate because you knew that if you do fall then that’s it. A one-time deal that you had no say in.

You dread every day that you get older because it’s just a step away in proving to everyone that you won’t get accepted to colleges.

You’re a Beta who doesn’t deserve to live.

Tears fall and you take a deep breath. Pietro lets go and you thank the stars. You don’t need anyone trying something with you today. You were silent as you wipe your tears away while going to your class.

-

“Y/LN.” Natasha calls out during lunch and you sigh. You were inside the library and people still somehow found you. You look up to her and sigh as you pack up your things and get your bag. She drags you outside and you just let her. Will this be the day that the Avengers would finally bully you? You just hope they don’t drag along Wanda… damn it. It’s your fault again. Your stomach falls as Natasha drags you to the cafeteria. Will they publicly humiliate you?

“Natasha! What are you-“ Natasha stops as you both get to their table.

“Explain.” You stop as Wanda hides behind Pietro.

“What?”

“Why are you suddenly being a dick?” Angel holds out her hand for them to stop.

“Why are you wearing a jacket?” You pull down your sleeves to hide your wrists and both Wanda and Angel lunge at you, you try to push them away but Natasha tackles you down. She holds you down as Wanda and Angel look at your wrists. They let go as they gasp. You stop resisting and sigh. Natasha checks and glares at you.

“WHAT THE FUCK!?” She shouts at you and you don’t even flinch. You look at her with blank eyes and she gulps. What the hell happened?

“Get off me.” You mumble and Natasha complies. You get your bag and get the letter that you received yesterday. “Here.” You hold it out to Wanda and she shakily gets it. You stand and try to leave but Angel stops you. Wanda opens it and cries as she reads. She hugs you and gives Angel the letter. You don’t hug her back.

“What the hell!? Who the fuck sent this!?” Angel shouts and Natasha snatches the letter out of her hand. “You fucking assholes!” Pietro holds Angel back as the Avengers read the letter. Their faces get angrier by the second.

“Who the fuc-“

“Does it matter?” Wanda pulls away and you snatch the letter up. “It’s the truth anyways. Hope you had-“ Angel slaps you and you scoff. “Is that-“ Pietro grabs your collar. He snarls at you.

“This isn’t the truth! For fuck’s sake!”

“It is.” You mumble and Wanda grabs your hand. She drags you to the courtyard and pushes you on the bench that you two always hung out on. She straddles you and you immediately feel calm. She whispers comforting words and you can’t help but hug her. You realize your actions while in daze and you can’t help but cry. You whisper your apologies over and over but Wanda just keep shushing you and rubbing your back.

-

You groan as the school bell rings. You went to the nurse and got your wrists bandaged up. You’ve been out of it and only went to classes like a drone.

“You okay?” You nod at Angel and get your things into your bag. It’s a good thing that your hand just wrote notes automatically since you knew that nothing got inside your head. “Let’s start tomorrow, okay? Rest up.”

“Thanks.” You mumble as you get out of your last class. You realize that two people were waiting for you and Angel.

“Hey, babe.” Angel greets and Natasha smiles as they hold hands. They kiss and Angel turns to you. “Bye, Y/N, Wanda.”

“Bye.” You both say and wave at them as they leave. You sigh as you face her.

“Wanda. I’m really sorr-“ She hugs you and you hug her back.

“Don’t be. Just.” She pulls away and flicks your forehead. “Tell me next time.”

“About?”

“The letter and the thoughts.” You nod and sigh. You both walk outside.

“It’s just.” You sigh as you run a hand along your hair. “My thoughts got out of hand and there was just no one else in the house.” You clench your fists. “They spiraled before I noticed.” Wanda holds your hand and you calm down.

“That’s why tell me. I’ll run to you if you ever have them.”

“Why?” She smiles and pulls you closer to her.

“Because I meant what I said. I don’t think I could live without you.” You kiss her and she kisses you back.

“Aren’t we moving too fast? We just met a month ago.” She chuckles and pulls away.

“Maybe. But I don’t care.” She intertwines her hand to yours. “This feels right. You feel right.” You smile at her words.

“I love you.” Wanda’s heart beat faster and you smirk as she blushes. “I love how your hand fits with mine. How your scent calms me down. How kissing you feels like I’m on cloud nine.”

“Sweet talker.” She kisses you.

“No. Just being honest.”

-

You go to school next day with your bandaged wrists exposed and you feel everyone stare at them. You go to Wanda’s locker.

“Hey.” She smiles at you and closes her locker. She takes your hand and you kiss her.

“You’re not covering them.” You hum as you both go to your locker.

“Mom and Ma got angry which is why I’m going to Therapy later. Sorry I can’t meet with you.” She shakes her head as you take your books.

“Your emotional health takes priority.” You pout as you close your locker.

“But you’re my cure.” She pushes you away and you chuckle.

“Shut up.” She mumbles as you take her hand.

“Y/N? No jacket?” Angel asks as she, Natasha, Steve, Bucky and Pietro approach you two.

“Nope.” You show them your wrist and shrugs. “Why bother?” Angel smiles. “By the way, can we start on Thursday for the project? I have a session today and a date tomorrow.”

“Oh? So it’s official now? You two are dating?”

“Oh. They are if they’re not then I’m going to beat up Y/N.” You chuckle as Wanda rolls her eyes.

“You’re only older by twelve minutes, Pietro, don’t push it.”

“Older is older, Wanda.” You laugh as you all get to class.

-

Lunch comes and Wanda picks you up from your classroom. You both go to the cafeteria.

“Finally eating like normal people?” Angel asks as you and Wanda sit on their table.

“We do eat.”

“Sandwiches and juice. The cafeteria offers much more.” You shrug as you eat.

“Convenient is convenient.” Angel shakes her head at you.

“Y/LN.” Tony calls out and you look at him.

“What’s up?”

“Sorry for being sexist assholes.” You stop and so does everyone else around you. They wait with bated breath. “We judged before we even knew you.” You smile at him and before you could even reply, Natasha says something first.

“Sorry for getting jealous. I don’t like it when anyone else asks for Angel’s number.” You chuckle and nod.

“Thank you for apologizing.” Tony holds out his hand and you accept it.

-

“Y/N!” Alsie calls out from her car and you turn to Wanda.

“That’s my ride. See you tomorrow?” She nods and you kiss her.

“I love you.” You grin.

“I love you too.”

-

“So what do you think was the cause?”

“Two phrases. It was ‘always your fault’… and-“ You mumble the last part and your therapist, Dr. Martin lean towards you.

“Y/N. Speak up, I’m af-“ You cut her off.

“Wanda is just pretending.”

“And you believed it?” You laugh.

“Yes. That’s why I was in a daze. I believed every line and every word.”

“Why is that?” You sigh.

“I was afraid.”

“Of what?”

“Everything that was happening.” You take a deep breath. “People were being nice to me. My sisters suddenly visited. My mom and ma started getting interested in my life… I guess everything was changing and I didn’t want to believe it.”

“Or rather you were afraid of it.”

“Yes.”

“I know changes are a scary thing but they are inevitable. You have all these happenings, what do you think is the root of them?”

“Wanda.”

“Who?”

“Well, she’s-“ You take a deep breath. “I think I’m falling for her.”

“Think?” You shake your head.

“I already am.” Linda smiles and you sigh. “I just- I think it’s too fast. Everything that’s happening.”

“And why is that?”

“I’m just a Beta! I don’t deserve-“

“And that’s why you’re so afraid. You’re second gender.” You nod.

“It’s the reason why I got bullied. Why teachers are ignoring me. Why people avoid me.”

“Why you also got disconnected with your own family.”

“Yes. I believed that I deserved everything because of something that I cannot control.”

“It’s good that you do remember our past sessions.” You chuckle.

“Things are changing and I have to accept them for what they are.”

“Yes. And you’re second gender?”

“Is something I did not choose nor should be ashamed of.”

-

“How’d it go?” Alsie asks as you stretch your body after leaving Dr. Martin’s office.

“Good.” Alsie nods then stands.

“Where’s the letter?”

“Why? What do you need it for?”

“Things.”

“You’re going to find who wrote it, aren’t you?”

“Yes.” You comply and give her the letter.

“Tell me who it is before you destroy their life, will you?”

“Why?”

“I might want to get in a punch or two.” Alsie grins and nods. You both get out and go home.

-

You go to school the next day and stretch as you walk down the hallways. You see Wanda and smile as you approach her.

“Hey, gorgeous, good morning.” “Morning.” She yawns and you take her hand.

“Is something wrong?”

“Just tired.” Pietro chuckles as he approaches you two. “Mom made her clean our garage all night.” You raise an eyebrow at him.

“Why?”

“She was caught sneaking out.”

“For what?”

“You. I wanted to see you.” You grin and kiss her.

“You could’ve just video call me.” She pouts.

“That’s not the same.” You laugh.

“I guess not.”

-

You hum as you sit on the bench. You just finished your date with Wanda and you were both on a stroll around the park. Wanda straddles you. You hug her and she hums.

“Don’t you have curfew today?” She frowns at you.

“Do you want me to leave?” You shake your head.

“Of course not, but I don’t want you to get in trouble.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to be a bad influence.” You kiss her. “When I meet your parents, I want them to know my intentions with you.”

“What intentions?” You hum.

“That’s for them to know and for you to find out.” She pouts and you chuckle.

-

You yawn as you and Angel hover your laptop. You were at the cafeteria with the Avengers. You’ve brought your laptop for the day so you two could start the project. Both Wanda and Natasha are fuming with your and Angel’s closeness but you just ignore them. This project costs about quarter of your grade in an AP class. Both you and Angel love them. Really. But priorities need to be put first.

“You two are serious about that project, huh?”

“Quarter of overall grade.” “AP Class.” You both answer and Natasha sighs. Wanda holds your hand and you look at her.

“What’s up?” She shakes her head and you give her a small smile.

“Just wanted to.” You chuckle and kiss her hand. You spend the whole lunch holding her hand whilst paying attention to Angel and making plans for the project. “Y/N.” She calls out and you look at her. She was holding up your meal’s spoon with food on it. “You need to eat.” You sigh and nod. You accept the food and hum. She smiles as you finish it. You kiss her cheek and get back to Angel. She eats her own food as she makes random patterns on your palm.

-

You groan as you and Angel spend your last class, just researching for the project.

“Miss Wanda that much?” You glare at her and she snickers.

“Shut up.” You grumble and focus on your research.

-

“That was good.” You hum as you pack up your things and laptop.

“We’re already halfway done.” You both get out and both Natasha and Wanda were waiting for you two. And you flinch as Natasha approaches you.

“Y/LN. Here.” She gives you a book and you look at it.

“Wha-“

“An apology for the last time. I got jealous and was immature. I should’ve trusted you and Angel more.” You sigh.

“You should.” You cross your arms. “She’s your soulmate, woman.” She groans.

“I know. My instinct just told me that you were a threat.”

“Why? I’m only a Beta.” Wanda hits you softly and you smile at her. “Besides.” You take Wanda’s hand and kiss it. “I only have eyes for her.”

“Okay. We get it.” Angel gets Natasha’s hand. “You two are running for the cutest couple.”

“I’m pretty sure you two won that last year.”

“Well now, we have serious competition.” Angel smiles and she holds up her hand. You slap it with yours. You both laugh. “See you tomorrow, Y/N.”

“See you too, Gel!” She and Natasha waves at you and Wanda before leaving. Wanda holds in her laughter and you turn to her.

“Gel?” You scoff at her as you two walk together.

“It’s a nickname!”

-

“What’s that?” You hum and raise an eyebrow at Alsie. It was already Saturday before you knew it and you had a date with Wanda tomorrow since she was busy today. “New book? That’s not your usual genre.”

“You mean her usual documentary, mystery or thriller?” You glare at Valerie who smirks. You sigh as you keep reading.

“Someone gave it to me.” Your two sisters look at each other and they both hum.

“Wanda?” You shake your head and they get taken aback. You had more friends?

“Then who?”

“Romanoff.”

“Natasha? You’re friends with Natasha Romanoff.” You nod and they gasp. You close your book and glare at them.

“WHAT?” They get up in front of your face and you shield yourself with the book. They barrage you with questions and your eye kept twitching as you get more annoyed. The hell is wrong with them? “Stop!” They both back off as you glare at them. “What’s with you two?”

“You know her parents?” You raise an eyebrow as you nod.

“They just switched to our firm last week.” Oh.

“The emergency?” They nod. Alsie gets up and Valerie nods at her.

“They were the reason why we were all needed there.”

“Even Ma?”

“Ma was there to calm the employees down.”

“Ah.” Alsie comes back and holds out a brown folder to you. It says Romanoff Airlines on the side and you take it. “This is?”

“Open it and read it.” You nod and Alsie turns on the TV.

Romanoff Airlines. Opened in 1956 and has been one of the Pioneer Airlines in both Europe and America. This is because of their partnership with Stark Industries who provide the latest technology to Air Transportation through them.

Current Owners: Melina Vostokoff and Alexei Shostakov. Both are Russians and ex-spouses. Although they are divorced, they still live together with their two children.

Heirs: Natasha Romanoff and Yelena Belova. Both are adopted and have decided to take their biological parents’ surnames but are still living in America and with their adoptive parents.

Natasha Romanoff. Currently attending high school. Can speak many languages (Exact number was not extracted), is friends with Tony Stark, Vision Stark and many others. Is a helper of martial arts clubs. Martial Arts Expert. Is a gifted student, passing all of her classes with flying colors. Decided not to take any AP Classes because it was ‘time consuming’.

Yelena Belova. Currently attending middle school. Can speak many languages. Martial Arts Expert. Gymnast. Gold Medalist.

You read everything before closing it.

“You okay?”

“Why switch to our firm?”

“Apparently because their previous firm was shady and we were recommended by Natasha.”

“Did you ask her why?”

“Yep. She just said that we know why.” Their words click inside your head and you look shocked.

“Me?”

“Most likely.”

“Huh.” You give the folder back to Alsie and hum.

“You good?”

“Yep.” You say as you open your book and continue reading.

A/N:

Because Angst makes me feel things.

I don't think I would ever write a series without an ounce of angst.

Thank you for Reading!

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Shaw’s 2020 Birthday R&S

🍒Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for an R&S which has not been released in EN!🍒

[Prologue]

The birthday event begins with MC in an antique store, in search of a moderately priced antique. She had asked Shaw for help since she’s been having difficulties finding one

Unexpectedly, Shaw gives her the keys to an antique store the next day, telling her to take whatever she wants

Even though MC knew early on that Shaw used to have a mentor who owned an antique store, she still feels strange about it - she’s unable to associate antiques, which are filled with rich history and culture, with Shaw

She wonders if Shaw visited this antique store regularly in his childhood

She notices that a drawer is open:

There are several yellowed exercise books lying inside, and “Shaw” is written on the bottom right corner of the covers in pencil.

MC: Could these be Shaw’s exercise books when he was young?

Curious, I take out these “major discoveries” from the drawer, my mind whirring with countless questions.  

At the back of my mind, I have a feeling that this place has a special meaning to Shaw.

MC: Maybe, for Shaw’s birthday…

While I’m thinking, something else in the drawer attracts my attention.

There are three copper coins, the colours antique, under sheets of writing paper. Covered in dust, they seem to be calling out to me voicelessly.

~

[Chapter 1: Exam Results]

At 4pm on a Friday afternoon, the math teacher wraps up her final point and closes the lesson plan.

The black board is decorated with the homework for the weekend. The teacher pushes up her spectacles. There is a big stack of exam papers on the table. “Last week’s exam scripts have been marked. Come and take them when I call your name.”

“This time round, most of you have improved. Only one student did not pass.” She takes up the exam script at the very top, flips it open, her eyes sweeping across the last row of the classroom, stopping at the seat at the very corner.

“Shaw.”

Hearing his own name being read, Shaw unwillingly stuffs the interesting comics underneath the table, taking his time to stand up. At the same time, the whole class cannot help but turn around and look at him evenly.

Sensing the surprised and teasing looks in their eyes, Shaw instead raises his head high and walks forward, stuffing a hand into his pocket with a devil-may-care attitude.

Taking the exam script from the teacher, Shaw stands in place, flipping through the script to look at the questions he got wrong.

Well, he did get more questions wrong than expected…

But math itself as a subject is annoying. It’s fine if he doesn’t do well.

He folds the exam script, folds it again, and again, before stuffing it into his pocket, turning around to return to his seat.

The teacher’s eyes unhappily trail behind Shaw, before she once again talks in a serious tone. “This time, everyone has to have their parents sign the exam script. I’ll check them on Monday afternoon.”

Shaw raises his eyebrows in mild disdain. It’s just a signature after all.

The old man copies the calligraphy of the Tang and Song dynasties so perfectly that even experts cannot tell. A mere signature wouldn’t be difficult.

He retrieves the stack of comics from underneath the table and puts them into his bag. With sufficient preparation for the end of school, he waits for the end-of-class bell to sound.

~

[Chapter 2: After School]

Entering June, the cicadas grow increasingly chirpier.

Over 60 years old, the antique shop shopkeeper sits on a rocking chair, fanning himself while checking Shaw’s homework. The prescription of his reading glasses is too shallow, and he has to squint. “The way you write this… Why does it look like a dog crawling. It’s so crooked.”

Shaw takes an eraser to erase a sentence he has copied wrongly. He cleans it till there is not a trace of it left. In an elevated volume, he answers, “It doesn’t matter if the words look ugly as long as I didn’t write it wrongly.”

While saying this, he feels through his pockets and takes out two exam scripts. “My teacher says this one needs a signature.”

Taking the script from him, the shopkeeper laughs until he rocks back and forth. “Kid, it’s fine if you don’t score well, but your luck couldn’t be any worse. Even if you take wild guesses, you couldn’t have gotten such low marks.”

He sits upright, sighing a few times. He folds up his fan and takes out a ball-point pen from his front pocket. With a practiced motion, he signs them.

He sighs deeply. “Shaw, since I’m not your parent, I shouldn’t be teaching you anything.”

Shaw had just closed his pencil box with a “pa”. Hearing his mentor sigh, he takes out his exercise books from his bag again, before returning to a state of studying. “All right, all right, I know what you’re going to say…”

“I won’t talk about big life lessons. Your school teacher would have talked about it more than I have. From today onwards, apart from the homework your teacher has given you, you are to write two pages worth of math questions, and copy a short essay every day. Only after you’re done will I teach you my craft.” He stands up, holding a tea cup and walking towards Shaw. “Whether you agree or not, give me an exact answer.”

Shaw doesn’t make a sound but merely furrows his eyebrows.

The shopkeeper laughs. “Just look at your capabilities - even a math question can stump you. If you can’t handle this small difficulty, how can you think of yielding something big?”

“I’ve never found math difficult. I simply don’t like math.” Shaw sets aside his exercise paper and takes out a brand new sheet. “Next time, I’ll let you sign an exam script that has 100 marks.”

“Wow, look who’s ambitious.”  

“Hmph, this is nothing.”

~

[Chapter 3: After School]

There is only one class on Wednesday afternoon. After school, Shaw carries his bag and runs towards the shop.

Once he enters, he sees his mentor eating some kind of medicine – small white and yellow pills in his palm.

“Why are you here at this time? Oh it’s… I forgot, it’s Wednesday today.” The shopkeeper talks while he turns around to walk into the kitchen. “Put down your bag and wash your hands. I bought a big watermelon!”

Shaw knows the old man has high blood pressure, some heart issues… He doesn’t have a concept of these things, but knows that it isn’t something good.

Without a sound, he puts his bag down and takes out his exercise books and practice questions.

“Don’t rush to do your homework, come eat some watermelon first.” The shopkeeper puts half a watermelon into Shaw’s arms and guides him to the outside of the store, bringing two small stools over for them to sit.

The watermelon, which was just taken out of the fridge, glistens with water droplets. The red flesh has a spoon stuck in it. Shaw scoops a big chunk from the middle. It’s very sweet.

The shopkeeper is also holding half a watermelon, but eats very slowly. Noticing Shaw staring at him, he sighs and shakes his head. “I’m old, so I can’t just eat these cold things…”

While saying this, he looks towards the drawer inside the store. “Your mentor is 62 this year.”

“When people become old, they love to talk about reason. They don’t want you to walk the crooked path they have because it’s a waste of time. You’re still young, so you think you have a lot of time to spare, so you don’t notice. I want to teach you that this is wrong. You need to spend the time of walking down a crooked path to do other things.”

After saying this, he points towards the whole street lined with antique shops. “You can’t just look at these. Learning calligraphy and painting today, and tomorrow jade, and thinking you’re living a serious life. Spending months and years to take care of this palm-sized shop – You can’t live like this. You are my disciple, and I will teach you all my skills. But apart from this, you still have to learn other things. Whatever you can learn, learn it all, and learn it well.

“You have to look at the big world, craft a career, aim higher, be more forward looking…”

He looks at Shaw affectionately. “Put in more effort, learn all my skills, and then get out of here!”

Shaw turns towards the watermelon and lets out a glum “humph”. “You’re old, but I’m still young. I still can’t differentiate plus minus multiply and divide. You’re old so you should be the one putting in more effort to live for a long time, so I can take my time to learn all these things.”

It’s summer, so the night comes late. The clock already signals the time as 6pm, but the light has not yet dispersed.

Shaw puts a brush back into the drawer, takes off his gloves and wipes the sweat off his forehead. “Old man, I’m hungry. Why not let me join you for dinner?”

In the kitchen, the shopkeeper is washing vegetables. He takes out a small box from the fridge, pulls back the curtains and returns to the shop.

“I didn’t cook your portion, but you can eat this if you’re hungry.” He removes the cover of the small paper box, and Shaw’s eyes widen.

“What, you think I wouldn’t remember your birthday?” The shopkeeper retrieves a cake from the paper box, and removes the plastic surrounding it. “Once you’re done eating, go home quickly!”

Shaw takes a spoon, muttering in a small voice, “It doesn’t matter if I go home late anyway.”

“Today is different. A child’s birthday is the same day as a mother’s suffering… But you’re too young and still can’t understand this. On other days it’s fine, but today is different…” The shopkeeper holds up his tea cup and goes to the counter.

[Note: The actual phrase is: “儿子生日母亲的苦日”, which doesn’t have a direct English translation. The meaning is that the day a child is born is also the day the mother suffers in childbirth to bring him into the world]

“I don’t know why adults don’t have an issue with you hanging out here all the time. But I can tell that you wear clean clothes every day, and that your shoes are polished. These are because of your parents. Let this old man add one line of reason – if you’re angry with your parents, you’ll regret it eventually.”

Shaw lowers his head, biting the spoon and says evasively, “No one’s angry with them.”

“You don’t call this being angry? It’s not that I’m picking on you, but boys should manage their tempers better. If you’re unhappy, you have to say it straight out, don’t just keep it boiling in your heart without a sound and then wait for someone to come coddle you. With your personality, in future, you’ll become a person who never speaks from the heart. Even when you’re with someone you like, you’d put on a front – That wouldn’t be good.”

“Old man, what are you thinking all day long?” Shaw retorts, not bothering to clean his mouth which has been dirtied with cream. “I will never have someone I like. I play soccer with a few guys in class, and they spend the entire day talking about who they like. It’s so annoying.”

The shopkeeper laughs at how Shaw says this with an air of righteousness. “Which is why I say you’re still young.”

Shaw digs into his cake and lets out a “hmph”. “I’m not young. I just haven’t grown taller.”

The shopkeeper sips his tea. “Guys do take longer to grow. Maybe you’ll be taller than me in two years.”

“Two years is way too long,” the plastic spoon dangles from Shaw’s mouth. “The best thing would be to wake up one day and suddenly be taller. Mm… I want to grow to this height. No.”

He stands on a chair, using his hands to gesture until he is satisfied. “At least here.”

The shopkeeper responds with a sweeping gaze, “That’s 180cm though.”

“180cm is very good.” Shaw sits back on the chair contentedly. “I’ll make a wish to grow to 180cm.”

~

[Chapter 5: Fate]

The shopkeeper looks at the clock on the wall, and slowly puts down his teacup.

“Since it’s your birthday, I’ll read your fortune.” He pulls open the drawer and takes out three old copper coins.

Shaw finishes up the last bite of cake and throws the packaging into a bin. “You’ve already read my fortune many times and the results are always the same. Yet you’re doing it again?”

The shopkeeper looks slightly down, but his voice remains calm. “I have nothing else to do anyway.”

The first throw, one heads and two tails.

The second throw, one heads and two tails.

The third throw, two heads and one tails.

…It’s really not much different from the last reading.

The shopkeeper shakes his head, his hand ready for the fourth throw. The copper coins fall on the table with a jingle, and a combination which has never been seen before appears – all three are negative.

“Wow, there’s a change!” The shopkeeper says in a higher pitch than usual.

In the middle of downing his drink, Shaw almost falls off his chair at the shopkeeper’s sudden outburst.

The jingles from the copper coins continue. The final two throws are no longer the same ones as before.

Shaw looks at the coins. “What does this mean?”

“It means that in the future, you will definitely not always be alone.” The shopkeeper rubs Shaw’s head with a bright smile on his face. “I was always worried about what would happen to you, with such a stubborn personality, if I weren’t around anymore…”

“Of course I wouldn’t always be alone. I’m not alone now.”

Shaw puts the three copper coins in his hands, looking like he doesn’t take the reading to heart – He has his family, pretty good friends, a few friends from the neighbouring class who buy tidbits with him. His life will continue this way.

Even though it’s a little boring, but he wouldn’t be alone.

“Also, old man, you won’t have any problems, and will definitely live for a very long time.”

Shaw speaks, and softly repeats the sentence, “You will definitely live for a very long time.”

The dusk has begun to settle outside. The shopkeeper holds the copper coins between his fingers, and gently sighs. “That’s why I say you’re still young.”

~

[Chapter 6: Birthday Present]

After packing his bag, Shaw looks at the clock on the wall – he should reach home by 7pm, just in time for dinner.

“You’re leaving already? You don’t want your birthday gift?”

The shopkeeper appears from behind the counter, tossing his gaze to the cupboard. “It’s been there for a whole day and you still haven’t found it yet.”

Usually displaying antiques, the drawer now has within it a box wrapped in colourful paper. Shaw curiously walks over and rips off the packaging, revealing a small wooden box.

A dark brown Rosewood bracelet rests in his hand.

In his eyes, this is something only an adult can have.

At his age, he would have received books, stationery, toys or models – none of which he likes.

He is always treated like a child, but he has grown up since a long time ago.

“This bracelet isn’t something expensive, it isn’t that much of an antique, but it is made of quality Rosewood.”

“If you’re bored, you can play with this, and learn to manage your temperament. You’re still young, so it’s fine if you’re still impatient and stubborn. But if you continue with this little attitude of yours, you’d lose out eventually.”

“In this line of work, you need to have patience. One, only when you manage your emotions would you remain focused. Two, good things come to those who wait.”

“The change in your life is also something you will have to wait for.”

These words completely fly over Shaw’s head. He puts the bracelet onto this wrist, coils it around multiple times until it can stay on.

“In future, no matter what you face, you have to be calm, and be patient.” The shopkeeper gently taps Shaw’s head, and frowns. “Have you committed all this to memory?”

Shaw rubs his head, his eyes still trained on his present, completely engrossed with it. “Ahh – yes I remember, I remember!”

“What do you remember?”

“Remember… that I have to hurry home for dinner!” Shaw turns around and grabs his bag, disappearing out of the shop. Before that, he raises the hand that dons the bracelet and waves.

The stars flicker, and the light is reflected in Shaw’s eyes. His eyes are smiling.

[ahgasescenarios]

Corrupting the Innocent Pt. 3- Dong Sicheng

Word count: 1.6k

Genre: fluff with hints of angst/suggestive

Plot summary: In which (Y/N) decides to “help” innocent exchange student Sicheng win over his crush. Except she has ulterior motives and Sicheng is too clueless to notice.

 A week had passed and here you were, getting comfortable in this environment you had instilled for your lessons, with a different version of Sicheng seated by your side. Apparently, treating the situation as though it was a university course had been the right move- the exchange student wowed you with his completion of the assignment. He even vouched for extra credit, surprising you with a new fashion sense.

Your eyes skimmed over his notes, a full list of attributes on display before your eyes. Hair, eyes, lips, ears and the list went on. You nodded approvingly before handing him back the textbook.

“I’m impressed, bravo.” You paused, gauging his reaction. “How did that exercise feel?”

“Good, honestly. I hadn’t taken the time to think about it before.” He seemed pensive, a different aura about him. Could a week of changing his mindset have done this much?

 You reoriented the conversation to the reason you had started this coaching in the first place.

“Now, I want you to tell me something. Have you talked to Rosé before?” He lowered his head, embarrassed.

“Not exactly.”

“Lovey, that’s going to be your assignment for the week.”

“But I’m not ready.” His eyes had taken on two sizes from pure astonishment and dare you say it, fear.

“Sure, you are.” Seeing as your words didn’t have the reassuring effect you had expected them to, you switched gears.

“Here, I’ll help you. Just pretend I’m Rosé.” You wriggled in your seat, getting comfortable for the role.

“This isn’t going to work.” His lip was caught between his teeth now. What you’d give to bite that lip.

“Yes, it is, try it.”

He finally gave in, a familiar love-shaped glimmer traveling across his eyes when he angled them back towards you.

“Hi, Sicheng.” You coaxed him into a “natural” flow of conversation.  

“Hi, Rosé. What’s- um, how are you?” He scratched the back of his neck. Adorable.

“I’m great! You?”

“Um, good. Thanks.” Silence thickened the air in the room for a second, both of you standing awfully still. Sicheng was entranced by this meager roleplaying and he reached over to you, caressing your cheek lovingly. The way he was looking at you almost made you rethink your plan. You pulled back admittedly not soon enough. Why was your heart beating so fast?

“See, you’re ready.” You smiled at him encouragingly. His mind felt elsewhere, though.

“Yeah, um I should get going. I have an exam Monday so.” His vibe was off, but you dismissed him, brushing the awkwardness aside. You had probably just been nervous because of the sexual tension between you two. The newfound confidence did multiply his already obvious sex appeal (or potential, in his case).

 You retired to your bedroom for the rest of the evening, alienated from the rest of the world as you rolled reruns of your favorite tv shows, barely even acknowledging the outside world. An incoming text message jolted your phone awake, only slightly capturing your attention.

Have you gotten him laid yet?

You sighed. I wish, you thought.

No, I have to keep pretending that I’m setting him up with you.

Rosé: How long are you going to keep this up for?

You shrugged; you didn’t have an answer. What Sicheng didn’t know was that you were actually friends with Rosé, and she was in on the whole thing. This scheming was what kept you two close, toying with people so they wouldn’t toy with you. Rosé shared the same view as you when it came to people and relationships which had made it easier for you to form this dynamic duo. Plus, none of her friends were keen on her “habits” so you were all she had when it came to this.  

 How’s project J coming along? You texted. “Project J” was code for her own plans to get Jaehyun in bed, the hot but oh-so-catholic eye candy.

Ugh, don’t get me started. He’s so much of a prude- even at the party, he would barely touch me. I’m sick of the “no sex before marriage” bullshit, I just want to fuck him already.

You could relate to that. If anyone else was reading these texts, they’d probably think you were both horrible people. That didn’t bother you, everyone was a little horrible anyway- you were just more public about it. You enjoyed these games of yours, it spiced up your otherwise rather dull life and kept you feeling alive. There was nothing like manipulating other people’s lives to make you feel in control of your own.

 “Sicheng, what are you-“ You had jolted awake at the sound of someone knocking on your door, just now identifying the culprit.

“I did it, I talked to her.” He beamed with excitement; his eyes illuminated with joy. If it wasn’t so damn early, you would’ve faked happiness.

“What did you say?” You rubbed your eyes, trying to rub the fatigue out of them.

“We just talked like we rehearsed and guess what, I’m seeing her tomorrow!” His brows furrowed together. “Do you think she thinks it’s a date?”

“I don’t know Sicheng, it’s too early for ME to think.” You sighed, the word think slowly decomposing to a mess of letters you couldn’t fathom.

“Right, sorry. I should’ve called first.”

“It’s fine.” You squinted your eyes at him, he wasn’t budging from his spot. “Did you need anything else?”

“Um, can I come in actually?” He was biting his lip again, by now you had figure out the habit was the manifestation of his nerves. You stepped aside and opened the door wide.

He was twiddling his thumbs, pacing around your living room. What on Earth has gotten into him?

“Remember at the party when we were in the closet together?” You nodded, crossing your arms in front of your chest. Where was this going? you asked yourself. Your question was soon addressed as a prominent blush overcame his delicate features.

“Did you mean it when you said you would teach me how to kiss?”

You licked your lips, knitting your brows together. This had taken an interesting turn.

“Of course.” You narrowed your eyes at him. “Sicheng, have you kissed a girl before?”

His teeth reflexively caught his lip as he timidly shook his head no. A virgin, yours to corrupt. Things just kept getting better and better.

“No need to be embarrassed, I’ll show you.” You offered him your most reassuring smile and he seemed to relax a tad. He sat down on your couch, gaze averting yours. His palms ran down his thighs, his nerves transpiring over every inch of his being. He looked everywhere but at you.

“Honey, this isn’t going to work if you can’t even look at me.”

To this he turned his head back around, eyes boring into yours. Emotions were wrestling each other behind those coffee brown eyes, you could tell.

“Are you sure you want to do this now?” Making them feel like it was their choice was key.

“Yes.” All hesitation from before had evaporated from his voice, perhaps those scenes before his eyes had given him a pep talk.  

You crossed your legs under you, now facing the exchange student. You guided his hand to lay on your waist and he gulped. You rested your hand on his cheek and brought his face closer to yours.

“Just follow my lead, okay?” He nodded and you pressed your lips on his. You gave him a few seconds to get used to your lips on his before you started moving your lips against his. It took all your willpower not to devour him right this instant, it was just too good. He shifted towards you, asserting his hold on your waist. Your lips moved in a steady rhythm against each other’s and Sicheng slowly started to get the hang of it.

You broke away to catch your breath, Sicheng’s eyes following you avidly. You dove back in, deciding to spice things up a bit by sliding your tongue in his mouth. A single yelp resonated into your mouth before he relaxed into the kiss, tentatively adding his tongue as well. He pulled back, not realizing that the lip he had caught between his teeth was yours until you moaned out loud. You quickly covered your mouth with your hand.

“Shit, I’m sorry.” You breathed, truthfully the sound had escaped your mouth unbeknownst to you. You shouldn’t be so careless. The expression scattered on his face was one you had never seen him wear before.

“I’m gonna go.” The air was thick with tension, and not of the sexual kind. You didn’t even protest, cursing yourself for that slip-up. You hoped he wouldn’t make a habit of leaving anytime things got remotely awkward.

You let your thoughts wander as you hopped in the shower. You were enjoying him way too much; it was bordering obsession. It was the first time you had wanted someone this badly before and you weren’t sure how to feel about it.

 The next day, your phone buzzed on the counter, the screen illuminating the following words from Rosé:

Next time, could you not involve me in your hook-up projects? Thanks

Right, their “date” was today. If only Sicheng knew…

Rosé was radio silent for the next couple of hours and you busied yourself with household chores, homework and things of the like. Only around dinnertime did you finally hear back from the blonde.

He barely looked at me, let alone talked to me. He seemed completely uninterested in me, weird since he asked ME out. Good work though, you’ll get him laid in no time!

Had your plan already worked? Was he already growing disinterested in Rosé? You found yourself to be the one biting your lip this time. If you had indeed succeeded, why did your heart feel like it had dropped into your stomach?

____________________________________________

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

a/n: hi loves! I just finished this series and I wanted your opinion on smth- did you want me to post the rest sooner than every week? I hope everyone is staying safe and doing well xx 

[stayforya]

TO ALL THE BOYS I’VE LOVED BEFORE | YANG JEONGIN

member: yang jeongin

genre: to all the boys i’ve loved before!au

words: 1.7k

summary: your letters are your most secret possesions. you write them when you have a crush so intense you don’t know what else to do.

a/n: this is a series and you can find the others here. we wanted to do this for a looong time and it’s finally here :) hope you enjoy <3

it’s not like you were that into coffee

but lately the study nights were getting harder and sometimes coffee was the best way to keep you up during class

a friend of yours recommended that café next to your house so you could pass by

it wasn’t a new one, you had already seen it

but you never went in

this time, 7am, there you were

after a long night of studies and some hours of sleep

you were a bit surprised by the amount of people on the line to get their drinks

was the café this famous?

you stood in the line looking at your phone

you only moved when you saw the feet in front of you moving too

but you didn’t notice when your turn finally came

reading those messages, you weren’t paying attention or listening to anything else

“excuse me”, a voice took you out of your own world

“oh sorry”, you said, looking up and putting the phone inside the pocket

there was a brief pause

because your eyes needed to get used to that amazing view

the guy in front of you had a sweet smile when you looked at him confused

his eyes had that shiny thing you didn’t understand how someone could have so early in the morning

then his smile started fading and you noticed you were being too weird

you didn’t say anything! go, do something!

“ah hm I would like an espresso please”

he nodded and left to prepare it

you went to the other side of the counter

waiting for it to be done

“here you go”, he said

your eyes looked at the coffee cup but also at his hands holding it, which led to his uniform

and there was a tag with his name on it

yang jeongin

“thank you…” should you say it “jeongin?”

“yes”

“nice, I pronounced it right”

“yeah”, he giggled, “and yours?”

“sorry?”, you were still sleepy

“your name, so I can write it on the cup”

“ah, I’m y/n”

he took his pen and wrote it

then smiled again and gave it to you

“thanks”

you turned on the music again on your earphones

and noticed you were smiling

was it because of the song?

it was a song you liked a lot but what

was that because of jeongin?

yes he was cute so no judge

you spent two days without going there

because you woke up late to class you just didn’t have the pleasure to buy a nice coffee made by him

it was friday when you finally got to pass by

the line was even longer but you had time to wait

the guy in front of you was being served by jeongin

and without noticing, you were waiting for him to come and ask for your order

but he didn’t

there was a girl, not too happy to be up at 7am, and she was the one who made your coffee

you deep down knew that every coffee would end up being the same no matter who was the person who made it

simply because there was a machine

but you could prove jeongin’s one was more delicious

he didn’t see you even though you were looking at him

he was way too busy that day

“your name?”, the girl asked

“y/n”

you didn’t know if she didn’t hear it right

but she wrote something else there

that wasn’t your name

and jeongin wrote it right on the first time

ok you had so much on your mind, you couldn’t pause to think about these details

you just wanted that coffee no matter what name you’d get on the cup

during the weekend you also couldn’t go there

so you went again on the next monday

he was there so automatically you felt some kind of shiver on your spine

the line luckily wasn’t long, maybe because it wasn’t too early

jeongin was using the same apron from the uniform

but the shirt he was using was different and the colour somehow made him look brighter

plus his smile and kindness were the best part of his everyday look

“hi”

“oh hey”, come on, why did your voice sound so weird, this isn’t a moment for flirting, “I would like an espresso”

“coming for you in a minute”, he said and smiled, not showing his cute teeth though

you waited there, not doing anything else, just waiting

and watching him, of course

he was probably everyone’s favourite from the café team

everyone would smile at him because he was just too nice and full of energy so early in the morning

you wished no one would ever treat him less than kindly

lost in your thoughts, he came to you holding the cup and you almost didn’t come back to reality

what if he noticed you were focusing on him

“y/n, right?”, he looked for the pen

so jeongin remembered your name, how was that possible when so many people pass by every single day?

“how do you know?”, you asked a bit surprised

“I remember you”

you only met once

you tried not to stare a lot and smiled to yourself

“thank you, jeongin”, you said

“see you”

that coffee was very hot but your face was definitely hotter

you went there the other day

and the other day

your bills would increase, you knew that

but you’d stop going there after the tests

why not enjoy while you could?

there was a day you came even earlier

he wasn’t there though

and you felt like something was off

you were starting to get used to him

just a few words spoken to each other

but such a nice way to start the day

you wanted to ask something to someone

but you heard an employee saying some of them were having days off

and that was why you saw new faces there

when would they come back?

you didn’t ask because it would sound way too much

people usually don’t ask where is someone you’re not even close to

you just bought your coffee and went to class

the next day he wasn’t there again and you started to think he wouldn’t be on the other day

congrats! he wasn’t

so you didn’t go there during the weekend

and since he wasn’t there

you felt like you could go anywhere else

it’s just a normal café when he isn’t there

ok, it’s not like you were that into him

but the effect of seeing him everyday...

honestly, you were into him

and somehow you felt bad for crushing on a person you didn’t even talk to

for him you were probably another client

you tried for the last time on tuesday, after the final exam

since you were free you could go there to buy more than a coffee

when you got through the door the first person you saw was him

and there was no line because of the hour

it was almost evening and people went there just to eat something with friends

the sunset out there could be seen by the glass wall

that’s why you put your bag on a table where you could watch it perfectly

you walked to where he was to order your cake and milkshake just to celebrate by yourself

he stepped forward and waited for you

“hi”, he said with those shiny dark eyes

it was like all his face said what he wanted to say

all his expressions were full of sincerity

that’s why a simple ‘hi’ was so intense

“hey”, you let yourself smile

“what’s your order today?”

“I’d like this cake and a vanilla milkshake”

he was surprised since you ordered something else other than an espresso

“special occasion?”

“just celebrating that I’ll have my hours of sleep again”

he laughed

you watched every single move of him

his eyebrows raising

his eyes narrowing

while his lips created a big smile

you took the tray and went to your table

you were eating while watching the sunset

the wind blowing brought so much peace

and that orange and blue sky was so pretty

you didn’t notice jeongin cleaning up the table next to you

“beautiful, right?”, his voice startled you

“yeah, is it like this everyday?”

“almost everyday”

you couldn’t miss the opportunity

“so for how long have you been working here?”

“a couple weeks now, just while my friend is on his working holiday”

“that’s nice”

for some reason it was easy to talk to jeongin

you weren’t friends but it felt like this

and you would never talk to a crush like you were talking to him

because he was too nice, it was easier

the sunset light hit his face

the dimples became deeper when he smiled

shy

he knew you were pretending not to look and you hated yourself for not being able to disguise your interest

“see you soon?”

you looked at him again

and nodded

“see you”

your heart started bouncing inside your chest

if he only knew how his little actions affected you

to the point you would need to write to him

immediately

and never send it

but you needed closure and you wouldn’t have unless you made your own

yang jeongin,

I’m not gonna lie. during the hard weeks full of tests and homework to do, going to the café and seeing you is definitely what brighten my day. what a cute smile you have. yes, I have a big crush on you if you’re wondering. I also just know your name because of the tag you have on your uniform. come on, are you surprised? well, you shouldn’t – since the day I saw you, and then the other day you came to my table and talked to me, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. it’s cheesy, I know, but I can’t help. on your day off, that café isn’t interesting at all. I don’t even want coffee if you’re not there to smile at me and ask what I want to order. maybe I’m way too intense, but that’s how I deal with crushes. I write about them and for them. until these feelings go away from me and never come back again, you’ll still be the warmth on these cold and busy days. until then, know that I like you. and, for now, I’m not able to forget your shiny galaxy eyes. why did you have to be so nice to me? ok, enough wondering. see you tomorrow. thank you for the everyday coffee that tastes good because you made it.

love,

y/n

[nnegan13]

thank u paige @air-bison-yip-yip once again for being fantastic and helping me out with this fic! giving me the idea of the list at the end was just fantastic you’re amazing 💜

ao3 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

tumblr | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

~ 

christmas and new year's will find you home (there will be no more sorrow, no grief and pain and i'll be happy, happy once again)

MONDAY  DECEMBER 16  22:48 ELEONORA’S ROOM 

22:45, from Edo: talk now? ❤️ 

Only once she has her door closed, her homework tabs minimized, and her hair pulled up does Eleonora Skype her boyfriend. He answers immediately, curly hair messy, face scruffy, eyes tired, the chain of his necklace held between his lips. It’s the middle of the afternoon in Ithaca, but from this one image of Edoardo it very well could’ve been the dead of night. 

“You look terrible.” 

Edoardo smiles, wide, and Eleonora can’t help the mirror that forms on her face. He’s so beautiful, she loves him so much. “Hello to you, too. And yes, I’m doing great, thank you for asking.” 

She snickers as he rolls his eyes at her and the feed on her laptop shakes around as he adjusts his phone. 

“No, you actually look like one of those guys that’s the hot conspiracist in movies.” 

“The highest of compliments.” He sits back in his chair, scrubs a hand down his face and folds an arm across his stomach. She smiles at him again and he chuckles. “You’re cute, did you know that?” 

“No, unfortunately, I’ve never looked in a mirror before.” 

He grins, thumbing the corner of his mouth. “Never ever?” 

“Never ever.” She shifts back onto her pillows, pulling her laptop onto her lap. 

“So if you did look at yourself in a mirror—”

“I would know I’m cute, a hundred percent I would.” 

The static muffles his second chuckle and Eleonora’s heart clenches. Ithaca is over four thousand miles away and she would give anything to hear his laugh in person and not over the phone. Only five more days and he would get on a plane and come home to her. 

The corner of one of his textbooks is in the frame and she frowns a little; he said he could talk, she wouldn’t have called otherwise, and she doesn’t want to have interrupted him. “What are you studying for?” 

“I’m not,” he says, and leans forward to push the book out of the way. “I’m talking with you.” 

Her frown deepens. “Edo.” 

“Don’t worry.” 

She folds her arms, raising an eyebrow. If she’s interrupting him, he better say so/ Being a distraction is not something she signed up for. “Edoardo.” 

“Seriously! I scheduled a break right now so we could talk before it got too late for you.” When her expression doesn’t change he laughs and picks up his phone, standing and moving to his bed. He settles down on his pillows, the pattern on the sheets is thin blue stripes and she remembers the afternoon she helped him pick them out, and Eleonora’s need to be with him overwhelms her irritation. “Weren’t you the one to tell me that study breaks were good, anyways?” 

She did back in the spring during the week of his final exams, but then he hijacked it to mean long, unhelpful—though enjoyable—make out sessions on his off-limits bed and she gave up trying to explain healthy study habits to him. Now, he’s turned it into video-chatting with her, and she doesn’t have a leg to stand on anymore, she likes it just as much as he does.

“No,” she lies anyways, just to see his grin, hear that static-covered laugh again. 

“Mm, okay.” 

Eleonora bites her lip, watching his pixelated eyes dart over the screen. “How many more tests do you have?” 

It takes him a moment, the unsure scrunch of his eyebrows over taking his smile, but eventually he starts listing them. “Took one yesterday, have one scheduled for tomorrow, then two on Wednesday, a presentation Thursday, and my last one Friday.” 

“And then you come home.” 

He nods, one corner of his mouth turning up. “Then I come home.” 

Edoardo runs a hand through his hair, brushing it out of his face and she leans her chin in her hand. “Okay. What’s the first thing you want to do?” 

He rolls his lips together, scrubs that same hand over his face again. “Take a nap. I’m exhausted” 

“Oh, poor baby.” 

The corner of his mouth twitches up and he rolls to his stomach. “Guess it won’t be with you, then.” 

“Mm, don’t say that,” she says as he chuckles. “You don’t mean that.” 

“No, I don’t.” He tucks his face in the crook of his elbow. 

She smiles and speaks without thinking. “Good, ‘cause it’s on the list.” 

The cute scrunch of his eyebrows isn’t enough to combat the sudden panicked racing of her heart. Why couldn’t she think before talking to him for once? “List? What list?” 

“No list.” 

“Ele.” 

“Edo.” 

He grins at her antics and she’s lucky he’s across the ocean, now, or he’d be tickling her to get the answer. The thought makes her heart clench again (it really isn’t lucky at all), and she tries not to frown. “What’s the list?” 

Sinking further into her pillows, she mumbles, “It’s a list of things to do over break once you’re home.” 

Edoardo’s smile rivals the sun and heat rises to her cheeks as he laughs in disbelief. “Really?” She nods. “That’s amazing.” 

“Don’t say that.” 

“It is,” he insists, and sighs, smiling still like he can’t help himself, and she covers her face with both hands. “Hey, hey, look at me.” Curling her fingers into her fists, she peeks at him and finds that his smile is still as bright. She misses him so much. “It’s fantastic.” 

Shaking her head, she says, “It’s really not. I mean, you were the one who kept talking about things to do, I just started writing them down.” 

“Alright.” He’s still grinning, and she looks away. “What’s on it, then?” 

“Um—a lot of the same things we did over the summer,” she says, shrugging, looking around her room to avoid the wave of emotion that overcomes her whenever she glances at him. “Getting gelato, making cookies with your nonna, going to a few greenhouses. I need your help, you can reach the stuff on the higher shelves.” 

“Of course.” Eleonora risks a glance at him; his grin is wide, eyes intense, he winks when she meets his eyes, and she flushes. 

“Uh—I know you meant this one as a joke, but you talked about stargazing, spending the night out under the stars, and the girls and I found this one place that’s a little further south, shouldn’t be too cold…” 

“I’m sold,” he agrees, and smirks. “Besides, if it does get to cold, there are other ways—”

“And—” she interrupts, smiles when he chuckles. “There’s a new exhibit at the university’s art museum that I think you’ll like.” 

For a moment, Edoardo says nothing, does nothing, just stares at her, rolling his lips between his teeth and studying her face. There are crinkles around his eyes that she wishes she could touch, could trace, and she has to squish her hands between her legs to keep from touching her screen. No doubt he would tease her for that, even if his expression makes her think he’d do the same. 

“And sleeping,” she whispers.

“Sleeping?” 

She nods. “Lots of sleeping. Together.” 

A faint smile this time. “Good.” 

“Good.” She bites her lip and he mirrors her. 

“God, I want to kiss you.” 

“Edo—”

“So much.” 

She laughs and he grins. “You need to study so we can do this stuff when you get home.” 

“We’re gonna do it anyways.” 

“You never know,” she says, and shrugs, and laughs when he glares at her. “Oh, don’t be like that, of course we’ll do it—”

[bentenharuki]

I generally don’t do these but...

I will do this because it’s a badge of honor and a thank you for @todayintokyo who gives me a daily vibe out of my second fav Country in the world (first one is my own, of course. My messy, chaotic, genius Italy).

So for everyone interested (I won’t tag people either... if you are among my 250+ readers, do it as freely as you like to share this unexpected hard time along others. Sharing makes us all feel less stranded I guess :)) 

1. Are you staying home from work/school? Yep. My University (Milano Bicocca) holds in-house lessons and curses and also exams and testing are/will be online. What I miss most are the lab works and the exchanges with foreign schools. I took one a few months ago in London and I was supposed to have another in May but... NOPE, of course.

2. If you’re staying home, who’s there with you? I am alone in my apartment. At first it was supposed to be shared rent with somebody else but then my parents just bought this out and lent it to me. I know. I am spoiled. But very grateful for what I have. I always try to give back the best I can because no one has merits in being born in a family instead of another. (pieces of second-rate philosophy in all my LONG answers courtesy of my mum and her influence on me. She’s a University Professor and her field is.. guess what.. ETHICS PHILOSOPHY)

3. Do you have pets to keep you company? Nope. Not allowed. But I like cats. Cats. CATS. They are elegant, refined, very clean, and they give you consideration and affection ONLY if they like you. I prefer to conquer somebody’s love instead than to have it by default. Then I am naturally a cat person instead of a dog’s. But I like all animals (I like snakes as well, so my range is pretty wide ;)), even though I don’t feel missing any in  house. Generally I would be out of home most of the day and no pet would be happy in staying that much alone. I miss my grandparents’ kitty tho :)

4. Who do you miss the most? Family. Friends. Meeting new people when out. And... (is it fine to say it?) Well... in these lockdown times I miss... human touch. (You get what kind). I was seeing a guy when this all started and my old boyf also came back into the picture somehow. All on hold. And I avoid to think how that makes me feel because even in case I’d figure it out, what comes if one can’t act on the awareness? Exactly. So I put it all in a LONG pause. But yeah... I miss contacts. A LOT.

5. When was the last time you left your home? I go out every Thursday to buy all my grocery stuff. I am very methodic. My supermarket is pretty near and it’s BIG and I get there right before it opens (well... one hour almost before it opens, so I can be among the firsts in line). I look like a ninja: very sporty and technically dressed (like for a running competition!) with clothes and shoes which are easy washable, tech mask (it is for cycling competition, with filters specifically medical: the mask is washable as well after you’ve used it, while the filter is obviously not), cotton fit gloves and over them medical gloves (I can’t wear directly medical gloves because my skin is very sensitive and I suffer from nickel allergia, which makes latex gloves a NO NO directly on skin), teck googles which cover also the side of my face (those are from cycling items too) and of course PODS in my ear because I can’t live without music :)

6. What was the last thing you bought? I bought online a few garden tools for my biggest balcony. I have ZERO skill with plants (and I am supposed to become a biologist... the nerve! LOL) but I am keen at making grow at least rosemery for my recipes. I have a little peach tree and it is all fine so far. I have hope I can do better and anyway I have time now ;)

7. Is quarantine driving you insane or are you finally relaxed? I try to keep my routine as it was before. I wake up and perform all my tasks exactly as I was doing before this all started. I am VERY organized and to lax on that would ruin me, so I carefully focus on what I can control the best I can. It feels strange to say it maybe but... this way my mood isn’t particularly affected by this heavy revolution in my (and everyone elses’s) life.

8. Are you a homebody? NOPE. I love people, I love my Milan and its being always full of people everywhere. I love living in my town a TON, I love meeting friends anywhere, go dancing, I love to live my University life in this beautiful and renewed part of Milan; I like being surrounded by my people and meeting new ones. So being stuck at home would seem insufferable for me. But I learnt from this (there’s always something to learn in any experience) that I can be surprisingly ok with staying home too. I came to know better my neighbors. I feel a sense of community with everyone living nearby and I have come to love my domesticity too. It was a surprise for me first ^.^

9. What movies have you watched recently? In Italy, Italia 1 channel has had the WONDERFUL idea to rebroadcast all Harry Potter saga every Monday and Thursday. Today and tomorrow there are the last two installments, so I can say that is what I looked out the most for as in movie things these past weeks (funny how I never particularly adored the books of HP, I mean, I liked them but... being a Tolkien’s devotee Rowlings’ literary efforts always seemed lackluster to me.. and still I have always liked the movies. It’s incoherent I know ;)). But I have Sky at home so I can watch whatever movie I like to whenever I want to. And that leads to VERY little watch actually. I am reading a ton though. I watch what passes on in the National channels actually, out of digital and cable and decide to watch it or not. For instance last Friday Rai 1 (main Italian Channel) broadcasted one of my fav movies from the past three years, GIFTED (with Chris Evans and Octavia Spencer) and I rewatched it with immense pleasure.

10. An event that you were looking forward to that got cancelled? OLYMPICS. I was supposed to be back in Japan with a a couple of friends and my bro for experience the Olympics (especially the volleyball tournaments) between July and August and that got (of course) cancelled. We plan to move it all to next year of course. But it hurts SO MUCH because it was easily what I was looking forward to BEST for all 2020. Hands down.

11. What’s the best and worst thing you’ve had to cancel? Look up. For the other question, I never plan things I don’t like (or at least I try my best not to) and I almost never find myself in the position of being happy for something I had going on which I had to pass due to circumstances. I am a very honest (sometimes to the point of bluntness, though with age I got trained in the fine art of diplomacy, which for me is declined especially in the “IGNORE WHAT IS NOT WORTHY degree) person and if there is something I don’t like I tend to not get involved with it in the first place.

12. Do you have any new hobbies? Eh... the longest list... I love so many things. Sport don’t count as hobbies to me because I treat them as part of my daily life constantly. So take them off. I like to write, to draw, to paint... I like reading, I like learning... I am a tech geek; I like gaming (but that I have to cut it or it would absorb me too much)... I like TRAVELING (that is cut off too of course nowadays), and many other things so I guess I don’t literally have SPACE for new hobbies. My many ones makes it impossible to fall for new things though lately I am becoming a better cook out of needs ;)

13. What are you out of? My lists are made as soon my things become “two items in from having 0″. This way I can’t run out of anything. Did I say already I am a HUGE control freak? THAT ;)

14. What music are you listening to? My itunes collections lists so far 12376 ALBUMS. Then I have the random songs. Latest one I bought (because I buy them all) is Achille Lauro’s latest 16 Marzo 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yb-9RESbeWA

I am also listening a lot to one of my bro’s fav bands Radiohead and as usual a lot to my beloved Imagine Dragons. My mum and dad are also telling me to listen to Bill Withers (who recently passed away) whole discography because he was amazing. I love many music genres. I love ALL which makes the spirit soar and rage and evolve and love and cry and hope.

15. What are you reading? So far in quarantine I read 5 books. I have now to start ORIGINS by Dan Brown. I pick the books I have left unread randomly and that was the pick this time (people gift me with books constantly because they know I am a bookworm when I have spare time).

16. What are you doing for self-care? Keep loving myself and life and the world exactly the way I used to before this all started.

17. Are you exercising? Yup. Tapis roulant, golf training, stepper (all in my house lucky me) and mat and weight training. I have a routine for which I have to train at least one hour a day. NO EXCEPTION. I miss swimming but I will do. I am also in recovery after January’s knee meniscus intervention so my schedules are also taking that into consideration.

18. How’s your toilet paper supply? I'm OK. :)

19. Have you made any changes to your hair during quarantine? Nope. I love to stylize my hair but I don’t have specific cuts. It grows long and then I play with them hairstyles: braids, buns, ponytails, partitions and the likes.. But I have bleached hair and I had to follow my hairdresser advice because I can’t allow ugly roots to take dominance of me ^.^ So I bought the necessary to self bleach them. No need to say as soon as I will be able to, Hairdressers and Massages and SPA will be my first destination ^.^ (beside visiting family and friends of course).

I am fairly sure I put lots of typos and mistakes in this but I have my online lesson just starting in 8 minutes and I can’t review this (I generally never do it anyway). So forgive me and have a beautiful day ;)

STAY SAFE OUT THERE!!! Hugs K.

[blankdblank]

Secret Scarves Pt 34

Pt 1 - Pt 1a - Pt 1b - Pt 1c - Pt 2 - Pt 3 - Pt 4 - Pt 5 - Pt 6 - Pt 7 - Pt 8- Pt 9 - Pt 10 - Pt 11 - Pt 12 -

Pt 13 - Pt 14 - Pt 15 - Pt 16 - Pt 17 - Pt 18 - Pt 19 - Pt 20 - Pt 21 - Pt 22 - Pt 23 - Pt 24 - Pt 25 - Pt 26 - Pt 27 - Pt 28 - Pt 29 - Pt 30 - Pt 31- Pt 32 - Pt 33 -

Aimlessly in class on one of the few days without you there Thranduil sat waiting for his students to finish their exams. The play by play growing across the screen of his phone of the retrieval of Lana fetching and taking Letio back to their distant home again after Legolas agreed to share an email for only their conversations for some sort of connection. To calm himself again and again he would slip the now laminated covered slip of paper you had given him stating that you loved him out to stare at reminding himself of the future you had together. He just hoped you wouldn’t mind the night he had to spend grading these tests instead of curling up around you.

.

A short distance away Thorin sat back in his own seat eyeing the pocket journal of his that each night he had spent at your place or you at his he had found a new random note or doodle eased inside from you. It was only a few pages but nipping at his lip he traced each rune and image with his finger until the final test was handed in and his class was over to once again check his phone at the progress report for the special dinner he so painfully had to miss. Tonight you surely would be missed and dreamed of with hopefully an early stolen moment could be found with you so he could possibly pass you a cute note of his own he had been contemplating doing for a while now, just needed to find the right one.

…

Choosing to take the later train back to you Frerin headed back to his apartment. A cheerful giggle and clap from Aletta in her bouncer dangling in the doorframe to the kitchen from the hall brought Tea from her fixing dinner with momentarily pursed lips in seeing the grinning Professor entering his home she had been welcomed into so selflessly. Crouching to greet Aletta he peered up at Tea, “Long day?”

Tea shook her head, “I thought you had that dinner tonight.”

“I do. Though I was wondering about your plans for Valentines day. I found a box set of Hugo the Horse and a nice bottle of wine if you wanted a night in after I take Jax out to the Aquarium?”

Instantly a blush spread across her cheeks and she nodded, “Oh, okay. I have pot roast recipe, family recipe, sort of hit and miss between too much garlic and not enough so it adds some mystery to the meal.”

In the fading of her words he raised Alt in his arms and stood up with a chuckle answering, “I have never had a pot roast with garlic before, but I cannot wait to try it. Also, I am off tomorrow Dis mentioned you needed a male perspective on your gown for the gala.”

Her blush deepened, “Well, I sort of already picked it.”

With a nod his grin spread in purring out, “What color am I wearing?”

Quietly she led him through the apartment to her room where he eyed the clear garment bag with a figure hugging blue dress flaring at the base. The top however was white mimicking feathers, with shimmering rhinestones across the sleeveless up to the neck design held in place with a button under the bright blue bow on the sheer backless portion. Timidly she stated, “It’s a bird theme for the new exhibit.”

In a chuckle he kissed Alt’s cheek then hummed, “No need to be nervous. I have a blue suit that will match it nicely.”

“You have a blue suit?”

Again he chuckled in a wide smile, “As a Durin it would be a crime not to have a blue suit. It is a lovely choice, no doubt you will be the envy of all.”

In a roll of her eyes he chuckled and shifted on her feet making him ask, “Anything wrong? Do you need shoes?”

“I have, shoes.”

He nodded with a smirk saying, “Alright. If you say so. I just needed to pick up a suit for tonight and wanted to ask about the weekend.”

“Ya, I’ll be here.” With his grin holding as she claimed Alt mumbling, “Where else would I be?”

The warmth of his hand cupping her cheek silenced her and parted her lips in taking in his adoring grin at her, “Please don’t be nervous, I cannot wait.” She nodded and he chuckled again, “I could use some help picking a tie if you have a moment?”

Lowering his hand she nodded and joined him through to his room she pretended to have never stolen glances into before as well as the closet packed with shirts and sweaters she wanted to steal so badly. Easing her mood in the brief conversation through choosing the right blue suit for the Gala along with a charcoal one for that night, though in his exit he caught another timid glance from her in asking, “You like the new house then?”

Frerin smirked, “It is lovely. Boromir made certain it suited all Jaqi and Jax’s needs.”

“And your needs?”

“I can skip the train out Friday if you prefer.”

She shook your head, “I don’t want to force-,”

Leaning in her voice died in his lips meeting her cheek, humming lowly through her blush induced silence at being inches from her lips, “I will stay Friday. No force needed. I can grab Jax in the morning.” In her steady inhale to try and look alive again he added, “If you ever want me to stay let me know.” After a gentle peck on the tip of her nose he kissed Alt’s cheek again and promised to drop by tomorrow after work leaving her nodding silently only to chuckle under his breath down the hall hearing an elated squeal through the door behind him.

…

Dis beside you on the couch added the sugar to her own tea after offering you yours asking, “How are your classes, I understand you are missing Denethor’s course now?”

You nodded, “I was at first though I managed to find a shorter route so I get there a few minutes late. He’s being very understanding about it all.”

Dis, “No doubt. Greenwood is very understanding when it comes to young parents. Jax is adjusting well, I heard through Tea about you getting called in to see his teacher?”

“Oh, that. He’s been asking for extra credit and spending play time in the library. Handing in paragraphs in on books on marine life he’s been reading. Headmaster asked for tips for a class wide book club and even offered me a tutoring position next year.”

Her lips parted and she said, “Tutoring-, that is a very good school, are you considering it?”

Your head tilted to the side, “It’s on the list of possibilities.”

“How did you get Jax to excel so?”

You shrugged, “Um, hard to say. I mean he’s always seen me studying and I got him reading early, children do love learning things and there’s a great deal of magical things to learn in libraries. A lot of times it is easier to just get sucked into books, I sort of coped with studying and I suppose he did too. Out in Gondor outside of his specialty school there wasn’t much of a group for him to converse with outside of us, at least out here he has a few friends. Bombur’s girls for example really have just lit him up. He loves to learn and share so it really isn’t a shock to me at least he’s focused on exploring his marine passion on his breaks. Why the teacher can’t understand you don’t stifle them when they find that spark is beyond me. I know mine bounced around but Theoden did his best to keep up.”

“I think you would be a wonderful asset to the school. Any clue on what you would be tutoring on?”

You shook your head, “I’m not certain, though I could sort of be a general tutor, cover all the bases I suppose. How is your work? I heard you managed to get Letio calmed down.”

Your eyes wandered to Thrain and Boromir following Jax to go see his project he added to your guest house wall as she answered with a curious look over you gauging your reaction. “Yes, we did. Work is good. Busy as usual really. Not as boring as it sounds, we do meet some interesting characters. How are you handling it, the whole Letio situation, I heard from Celeborn Lana dropped by your job?”

You nodded and lowered your cup from a sip, “It’s more of a bother for how Leg is taking it. I know it was probably more about him trying to get to know Leg than anything but there’s a way about that. I mean I’ve had demanding relatives before.” Wetting your lips you leaned in a bit asking softly hearing the guys coming back, “I have to ask, Lana’s, really tall, even looked taller than Thranduil,” Dis couldn’t help but smirk, “I mean, comparing us, was he just out for the polar opposite?”

Dis chuckled, “I know Lana was the only one his height growing up, he sprouted early, all limbs and hair, even then they had troubles it really didn’t last long. If anything you are exactly, had he written down all the traits he wanted you would fit it to a T.”

You nodded and smirked through replying, “Oh yes, lotta little with a dash of damaged and opinionated to boot.”

In your sip she rolled her eyes in a chuckle, “Don’t sell yourself short.”

“I am not short, I am travel sized.”

An awkward snorting laugh came from Dis making her sons smirk in entering while Frerin made his way through the door easing his jacket on behind his father and Boromir. Jax hurried out and climbed onto the spot between you two shifting your arm he eased under to steal a sip from your cup through Boromir’s lean in to kiss your cheek asking, “How was work Darling?”

“Lovely as always, got to trade caramel drinks for the new espresso machine.” You glanced at Dis, “Eowyn’s stomach churns at caramel.” Making her nod in understanding, “yours?”

Boromir, “Ah, yes, Monday is the big send off for your instruments to the specialty schools. Press should have it out Tuesday, the public models are still a few months off. But we’re all excited, we have it all planned.”

Thrain inched closer to you and at the announcement of one of the servers that the dinner was ready you stood peering up at him as his grin split across his face and his arms extended, “There are no words to express how honored I was with your gift.”

Giggling to yourself you hugged him tightly in return saying, “I knew if anyone would appreciate it that it would be you. I memorized it years ago and trust me, so much better than the translated copies.” Pulling back you said, “Shopping for you is a bit difficult still.”

Chuckling lowly he planted his hand on your upper back saying, “True, even my love has trouble finding gifts for me.” Guiding you to the dining room, in the walk there you caught Frerin’s approving glance at your dress that melted into a knowing smirk at having been right about their father loving you the most right now for the priceless gift. “How did you even come across it?”

“When my stat book was coming out I was in the publisher’s office mostly while my parents went over the contracts, I got to browse through his bookshelves, it was his wife’s, bought it in some auction but they were divorcing so he just didn’t want it to fight over I guess. Neither of them spoke Khuzdul, so, no reason to keep it.”

Frerin, “I can’t imagine how much she spent on it.”

Without a pause you replied, “47.5 million.” Around the table they froze and you flashed them a grin, “The receipt was included with the authentication papers. Oh, I found them, they’re in my office, go them a little protective sleeve display folder and all, you can see the whole transaction history, all the receipts are with it since the First Age.”

Thrain, “Four-,”

You waves your hand and pointed at him, “Now don’t you even consider talking about the price.”

Dis, “How much did you pay for it?”

You looked at her with a smirk, “He gave it to me, for free.”

Her mouth dropped open and Frerin chuckled when Boromir said, “Trust me, it was a brutal divorce. He’s where I got that Bugati, couple million, just signed the deed over to me when I offered to pick up him a sandwich when I was off to get Jaqi’s lunch.”

Thrain, “I, don’t know what to say.”

You smiled at him, “You gave me something so much more valuable than that book will ever be. Even if it doesn’t feel like it.” With a giggle you helped Jax pull his chair in closer to the table beside you making Thrain turn his head to subtly wipe a tear from his cheek. Easing your skirt along your legs you lowered into your seat that was eased in for you and you caught Boromir’s third glance at his phone before he pocketed it. “Waiting on Dwalin to rush in?”

Boromir shook his head, “No, sorry.”

With a smirk you held back your question and looked to Dis in her asking Frerin, “Have you asked her yet?”

Frerin smirked and replied in taking his own seat then said, “I have, when Jax and I are done with the Aquarium I was thinking I could bring him home with me so we could have a dinner together. She showed me the gown she chose for the Gala,” his eyes switched to you, “Which reminds me, I need your help to pick her a pair of shoes to go with it. She says she has some but, new gown she needs some new shoes settle the night as spectacular.”

You let out a giggle saying, “I’ll text you a list most of our emails are flooded with shoes. There was this one pair, bright blue and stunning, strapless just to die for heels that she would love and it has a cute little bow on the backs of them in rhinestones, she will squeal.”

Frerin chuckled and grinned at you, “Thank you. She seemed stunned I would have a blue suit somehow.”

The first course was set out in front of you and with your thanks you looked to him again, “Well her ex was a black suit and tie kind of guy.”

Dis, “And we’re certain he won’t be there?”

You shook your head, “No, last I heard he was still in the process of finding a lawyer willing to take the case, turns out the cop he attacked was a relative to the King. So, he’ll be tangled quite a while. If they let him live to the trial.”

More and more you all chatted with Dis asking more of you, your thoughts and interests the others joined into, especially Thrain, who loved learning more about you and getting to spend more time with you. But eventually even through the stolen stares from Fili you managed through the night seamlessly and accepted the parting hugs from Dis and Thrain while Jax rushed off to catch one last bout of cartoons before bed at your approval through Frerin and Fili’s move to change. Alone in the kitchen of Boromir’s house you joined him in stealing one of the last brownie bites you stole one of asking, “Tabi emailed me today.”

Boromir smirked catching your eye sheepishly, “She told you?”

“Why didn’t you tell me she was two months off? I mean, you said she offered to be your surrogate and you’d talked about actually going through with it-, but, seriously? She’s ten months pregnant with your baby!”

Boromir grinned wider squeaking out, “Little girl.”

Your mouth fell open and you gave him a tight hug filled with giggles from the both of you and you pulled back, “No wonder you needed the house! What about Dwalin?”

Boromir wet his lips, “I told him, when I moved out here that I had a surrogate.”

“Really?” you popped the brownie bite between your lips and he nodded.

“Yes. We hashed it all out the other night. Tabi had that car accident early on and she was really cautious hoping she wouldn’t lose our girl and she’s pulled through and now she’s arriving on the train Monday, didn’t want to risk flying. We’ve planned it all, Dwalin’s going to come and meet Tabi, they’ll bond and when Cleo-,”

“Aww, Cleo.”

His grin spread across his face again in a blush, “So when she arrives, which you know Tea was overdue like her other sisters, the nursery supplies will be here next week so we can set it all up for her. Tabi is finalizing her book draft and that could take a while so easily she could handle that while helping to nurse Cleo for the first few months and help us to settle our lives around our little girl. When she is old enough surely I could take her to the daycare there easily and of course that should give Tabi enough time to settle her plans to her next step.” Inching closer his hand eased around yours and he asked, “And of course we discussed this, we would like you to be the godmother.”

With tears in your eyes you stole a tight hug around his neck, “Of course.” With a sniffle you pulled back out of his loosening grip asking, “I have to ask, you’re skipping marriage?”

Boromir chuckled, “Ah, that, no. Dwalin requested to wait until a family dinner in two weeks to announce it fully, and as far as an engagement he has demanded the rights to propose how he sees fit since I was the one in college to spoil things. It will be his terms any day and way of his choosing and of course we will be following Dwarvish traditions for the ceremony since Gondor really has nothing special to it.” After a chuckle he added, “And with your own place being nudged down the aisle the topic of a double wedding came up,” making you roll your eyes in a giggle, “In case you don’t want all the attention on you.”

You nodded, “Because I’ll just blend right in, three grooms and a bride.” Making him chuckle as you ate another brownie bite. “Now, I will have to head off to bed, early press and all that.”

You nodded and giggled again saying, “You’re going to get an email from me,” his brow inched up, “Look it over with Dwalin, I found the cutest onesie and footie pajama site. To die for.” He chuckled joining you through the door kissing your forehead on your way to your house.

With a giggle you found Jax in his pajamas lounging on the couch and you eased off your heels and laid out beside him laying your hand against his leg his hands instantly folded around. Curiously Fili poked his head through and hurried to the couch to settle under your legs resting his hands on them until you got up to take Jax to bed. Straight back to the couch again you strolled then plopped down how you were in front of Fili, who was stretched out in your former spot. With a grin he eased his arm over your middle asking, “Have I mentioned how breathtaking you look?”

With a giggle you shifted to glance back at him, “Not in so many words thank you though, and you looked amazing in your suit.”

He smirked and leaned in stealing a kiss then hummed against your lips, “Thank you. There’s a monster flick on if you’re not tired.”

You nodded and turned to grab the remote you used to switch the channel he mentioned you then put back on the table and stretched out in his arms. At the fourth building being smashed in the ac kicking on you shifted to wiggle under Fili making him chuckle and straighten over you peppering a trail of kisses along your jaw ending with a heated make out session until the credits rolled and with numb lips you both stole one last kiss and split up for bed once Fili had helped to lower your zipper past your shoulder blades.

Wrapped in Thorin’s t shirt you washed your face and let your curls down grumbling your way to bed, wiggling under your covers you settled in and looked at your phone in your hand smirking as you sent off the picture of you in the shirt you took in the mirror to your guys messaging, “Sweet Dreams.”

You could almost hear their groans when they typed good night in return promising to make up the night alone to you. Plugging your phone in you settled back to bed and closed your eyes, sure you wished there was someone to snuggle with but you were also incredibly grateful for a full nights sleep.

Pt 35

[exotic-dreamuses]

Faster

Genre: fluff/smut

Pairing: Baekyeol

Rating: M

Warnings: Illegal activity, graphic smut, language, heavy alcohol consumption, badass Baekhyun, don’t blink or you’ll miss Kaisoo, innocent Chanyeol

Summary: “You live life through song lyrics and personal connections, he lives through cheap pickup lines and quick hookups in dusty old motel rooms.”

Word count: 13,698

All Chanyeol wanted to do was curl up and cram study. Jongin is a certified asshole.

Chanyeol had two exams that week plus a 12-page research paper due by Friday that he had barely started on. He knew for a fact that Jongin had a couple reports due as well, and a test in a class he was already failing on Thursday.

And yet here they were. 11pm on a Monday and instead of holing himself up in the library, Chanyeol had stupidly allowed Jongin to drag him out.

“For fuck’s sake, Chanyeol.” Jongin had grabbed him just outside their apartment as Chanyeol had been on his way back to campus to use the library’s endless book resources. “You have all week. Besides, didn’t you want to meet my boyfriend?”

Somehow Jongin had talked Chanyeol into a pair of his “edgy” ripped jeans and a green t-shirt. He threw his own leather jacket at the taller, and Chanyeol had pulled it on, complaining about his change in appearance. “Are we meeting your boyfriend at a club or something? What the fuck?” Jongin simply laughed at him, pulling out a bottle of hair gel. So what if he liked his oversized hoodies? Sue him.

And no, they definitely weren’t meeting Jongin’s boyfriend at a club. They were at a fucking street race.

“This shit is illegal, Jongin.” Chanyeol hissed as his no-longer-best-friend dragged him through the rows of cars. “We could be arrested. We could go to jail. I have a paper due in three days! My mom’s going to have a whole-ass heart attack. We can’t just—”

“Chanyeol, dude.” Jongin paused his movements and placed both his hands on Chanyeol’s shoulders. “Listen.” Chanyeol stopped looking around and focused on Jongin. “I’ve been coming here to meet Kyungsoo for months now, and we haven’t been busted by the cops yet.”

“Yet?”

Jongin rolled his eyes. “You’ll be fine. Now come on, I want to make out with Kyungsoo a bit before his race.”

“Gross.” Chanyeol scrunched his nose as Jongin threw an arm around his shoulders, leading him towards a small group gathered between two cars.

“Jongin!” A short guy, even by normal standards, shoved his way through the circle as Jongin and Chanyeol approached the group.

“Sorry we’re late—” Jongin was cut off as the guy threw himself at him, pulling him down into a kiss. Jongin responded immediately, holding who Chanyeol assumed to be his boyfriend closer, and Chanyeol cleared his throat and took an awkward sidestep.

He shifted from foot to foot as he looked the other direction, taking in the sights. Skimpily clad girls, guys wrapped in leather, and cars rigged up with toys worth more than the hunks of junk themselves.

Knowing Jongin’s original intention was to introduce him to the mysterious guy he’d been seeing, Chanyeol tried to stick around. He figured, though, after the boyfriend wrapped his legs around Jongin’s waist and Jongin backed him against one of the cars, that any and all original intentions were out the window.

Chanyeol decided to wander around the nearest car. It was some sort of sleek grey BMW something with dark red detailing. He looked down, eyeing the redone bumper and making his way around the back.

“They do that a lot.”

Chanyeol started and looked up to see a boy leaning suavely against the driver’s side of the car. The dark-haired boy couldn’t have been taller than Chanyeol’s shoulders, and he, like many others there, was wearing a pair of black ripped jeans, a leather jacket, and combat boots. His eyes were lined thickly, and his hair parted so some of it hung loosely over his forehead. Chanyeol couldn’t seem to look away from the long, slender fingers as they pulled a cigarette away from his pleasantly pink lips. He was mesmerized.

The lips released a puff of smoke, pouting beautifully and the boy flicked his hair out of his face, turning to look at Chanyeol. No—past him. Chanyeol turned to follow his line of sight and his eyes fell upon Jongin and his boyfriend, who was now sprawled on his back on the trunk of the car next to them.

The stranger chuckled.

“Kyungsoo hasn’t run a race without Jongin being here to, uh, wish him luck.” He let out another chuckle. “He was freaking out when he was running late, worried he wouldn’t get his pre-race ritual in. I honestly thought he was about to bust a nut.” Those fingers lifted the cigarette back up and the boy took another drawl of smoke. “I’d kill to see that. Or do it. I have to admit, I’m jealous.”

“Oh, are you?” Chanyeol leaned against the car, mimicking the mysterious boy’s position.

“Kyungsoo’s been getting plenty of dick, and according to him, it’s good. I could use a good lay.”

“Right,” Chanyeol answered carefully. “And, uh, you are—”

“Hot and ready for you, Mr. Empire State Building.” Chanyeol felt naked under the boy’s critical eyes, looking him up and down in an almost animalistic way.

“Come again?”

“Byun.” The kid tapped his cigarette on his fingers, watching as the burnt ash fell to the ground with a smirk. “Baekhyun.”

“I’m Chanyeol.”

“Ah, finally a devilishly handsome face to put with the mysterious name.”

Chanyeol furrowed his brows. “Am I supposed to mean something?”

Baekhyun leaned back against the car again. “Oh, the whole group’s heard all about Jongin’s tall, blubbering friend who’s never been seen outside the library, his room, or the music building.”

Chanyeol scoffed. “Nice to know my reputation precedes me.”

“So, Empire, what are you doing here,” he gestured to the rows of cars with his cigarette, “instead of shitting around on a piano?”

Chanyeol sighed. “Fucking Jongin.”

“That’s Kyungsoo’s job.”

Chanyeol shut his eyes. “Oh, god, I really did not want that image.”

“You could have the image of fucking me instead, if you want it.”

“Look kid. I appreciate the incentive and all, but I really don’t want to be here.” Chanyeol sighed, avoiding Baekhyun’s eyes. “I have two tests this week, and—”

“And I can be a great distraction.” Baekhyun didn’t stop staring, and Chanyeol could feel those eyes centered on his crotch.

He could also feel his dick twitching. No, stop it. Grandmas and dead puppies.

“Byun!” Both boys turned around. Kyungsoo was sitting up now, Jongin still between his legs. “We need to go.”

“Now?”

“Now.” He pushed Jongin away from where he had still been nipping at his boyfriend’s collarbones, and Kyungsoo adjusted his jacket so it was sitting properly on his shoulders.

Baekhyun sighed. “I’d love to continue this, Empire, but it seems I have a prior engagement.” He dropped the rest of his cigarette, stomping it out. “Would you be a darling and grab my keys for me? They’re in my front pocket.”

“No.” Chanyeol deadpanned.

Baekhyun chuckled, shoving his right hand into his pocket. “It was worth a try.”

“Was it?”

“You can’t blame me.” Baekhyun pulled open the door of his car. Across the lot, Kyungsoo mimicked his movement, Jongin walking up to the window and giving him one more good luck kiss.

“I’m going to be honest with you, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun spoke again once his car had started, rolling down the window. “You’re hot. You turn me on, and if I wasn’t supposed to be on the track in two minutes we’d be back at my apartment right now. However, it seems my life is full of wasted potential and unfortunately timed hookups.”

“There’s still the rest of the night,” Chanyeol responded sarcastically, crossing his arms.

Baekhyun smirked, turning his eyes to the road as he shifted his car into the first gear. “I’m going to hold you to that, Empire.”

Both cars pulled out of the lot, joining the lineup and making their way towards the starting line, and Jongin wandered over to where Chanyeol was standing.

“I thought I was supposed to meet the boyfriend tonight,” Chanyeol commented, accepting the beer in Jongin’s outstretched hand. “All I saw was ass and lips.”

“Those are the important parts.” Jongin shrugged, taking a sip of his beer.

Chanyeol eyed him warily. “It’s a Monday, Jongin.”

“And?”

“We have class tomorrow. Don’t you have an 8am?”

“I’ll skip it. I usually do after races.” Jongin shrugged again, his eyes resting on the road where the cars had just disappeared.

“Staying the night with Kyungsoo?” Chanyeol took a large gulp of his beer.

“Someone’s jealous.” Jongin sang. Chanyeol could hear his smirk.

Chanyeol scoffed. “You wish.”

“No, I know. Not that you have to be, though, you have Byun now. He’s a hard one to pin down, it’s kind of a big deal that he was just full-on flirting with you.” Jongin took a drink of his beer. “Baekhyun isn’t one to try too hard, and the fact that he is when you act like you’re completely uninterested, even though I know otherwise, means that he’s probably really interested in you.”

“Or he just wants to fuck.” Chanyeol groaned, running a hand through his hair.

“So do you.”

As much as he didn’t want to admit it, Jongin wasn’t wrong. Chanyeol had a lot going on in his life. All his exams and papers for some stupid business degree he wasn’t even sure he wanted, spending the night hours from 11-3 in a practice room as he was determined to not lose his guitar skills among pointless math classes. He often got math formulas replaced with song lyrics and chord structures in his head, and he’d gotten comments on his papers about the lack of effort put into them as he always procrastinated to write songs instead. There was a lot of pent-up tension, a lot of anger and stress that was constantly wearing down on him. Maybe, maybe all he needed was a good fuck. Just to get it out of his system.

Jongin sighed at Chanyeol’s prolonged silence. “Look, Chanyeol, I get it. You’re a ‘romantic.’ You want to build a relationship, have a connection. But Baekhyun, well, he’s a quickie. He’s not around for the long haul, never has been. You live life through song lyrics and personal connections, he lives through cheap pickup lines and quick hookups in dusty old motel rooms.”

“What do you want me to do?” Chanyeol asked, exasperated.

“I want you to live a little.” Jongin faced away from the road for the first time since the race had started to face his friend. “Go home with him. He’s your type—short, dark hair, mysterious, and I know he bottoms—” Chanyeol rolled his eyes at the last one, “be a fucking college kid for once, okay? Go be spontaneous. Besides, you never know. I thought Kyungsoo was going to be a one-night thing, and it’s been three months.”

“Are you done?” Chanyeol took another drink of his beer.

“Just think about it, yeah? I’m worried about you, man.”

Before Chanyeol got a chance to answer, to brush Jongin off and tell him he had no reason to worry, a familiar grey and red BMW flew across the finish line.

“Your boyfriend won.” Jongin nodded his head towards where Baekhyun was pulling his car around, back into the same lot he had been in before. “Give him a congratulatory kiss for me, will you?”

Jongin had danced out of the way, back towards his own boyfriend’s car which had also returned to its lot, before Chanyeol could reach out to hit him. Chanyeol tossed the rest of his half-drank beer in a trash can as he made his way over to the winning car.

“Hey there, Empire.” Baekhyun slid out of the car, running a hand through his sweaty hair. Chanyeol couldn’t help but imagine his hands running through the hair, Baekhyun under him, sweaty and writhing, back arching—

“Empire? You still with us?”

Chanyeol shook his head, coming back from his daydream. “Hm? What?”

Baekhyun chuckled. “I know I look hot right now, but I do need a breather before you jump me.”

Chanyeol scoffed. “You wish.” He did look pretty hot, though.

“You would,” Baekhyun smirked, raising an eyebrow in a way that probably made all the boys swoon.

It definitely wasn’t working on Chanyeol. Not at all.

“I wouldn’t.” Chanyeol took a step forward, and Baekhyun mimicked his movements.

“Then why did you take a step towards me?” Baekhyun tilted his chin up to glare at Chanyeol, his eyes calculating, trying to figure out what Chanyeol was thinking. That was going to be hard, though, considering Chanyeol didn’t even know what Chanyeol was thinking.

“I don’t know.”

“Why won’t you kiss me?”

“I don’t know.” With each question, the pair took a step towards each other. “And I hate not knowing things.” Chanyeol pushed on.

Baekhyun knew exactly what he was doing to Chanyeol. “What are you going to do about it, Empire?” They were chest-to-chest at this point.

“Are you sure you want to find out?” Chanyeol whispered, leaning down ever so slightly.

Baekhyun smirked. “Why are you still asking?”

“I’m not.” With that, Chanyeol grabs Baekhyun’s hips and pulls him towards him, planting his lips on the shorter’s.

Baekhyun met him immediately, gripping the lapels of his jacket in his hands and thrusting up on his toes. It was messy, there was too much teeth during the fight for dominance, but it was perfect. Hot and heavy, Chanyeol turned and threw Baekhyun against the side of his car.

Baekhyun gasped on the impact, and Chanyeol took the opportunity to dart his tongue in the other’s mouth, Baekhyun submitting to him almost immediately. Chanyeol could feel his adrenaline going up as he poured all his frustration and stress into the kiss which Baekhyun was welcoming with open arms. Well, open mouth.

Chanyeol put all his weight on the smaller, pulling Baekhyun closer while at the same time pushing him back against the car. His hands stayed on the other’s hips, gripping harshly as he inserted his thigh between Baekhyun’s legs, not allowing him to move at all though his impulse was to jerk away.

Baekhyun moaned instead, letting go of Chanyeol’s jacket to instead tangle his fingers in his hair, messing up the carefully styled strands courtesy of Jongin. Leaving one hand curled around Baekhyun’s waist, Chanyeol brought his left hand up to cup his cheek and tilt his head back, giving him better access to the other’s swollen lips.

“Chan-Chanyeol.” Baekhyun stuttered, pulling away from one of the most mind-blowing, tension-filled kisses he’d ever experienced. Not finished yet, Chanyeol began trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses along Baekhyun’s throat. He didn’t suck enough to leave a mark, but he applied enough pressure that the boy was at his mercy, gasping and tightening his hold on Chanyeol’s hair.

“What, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol muttered between kisses.

“Don’t—wait, we can’t.” He protested weakly, though he was doing nothing to stop Chanyeol’s ministrations. “I have another heat.” Baekhyun let his head drop so it was resting against the car, moaning again as Chanyeol began sucking harshly on an exposed part of his shoulder where his jacket had fallen away at some point.

“So?” Chanyeol pulled away, straightening back up to look at Baekhyun, giving him a second to catch his breath.

“It starts soon, I can’t run off like this, as much as I want to.”

“Don’t leave.” Chanyeol wasn’t begging—he didn’t beg. He was just asking, politely, and hoping deeply that Baekhyun would listen to him as it was obvious that he was just as turned on as the latter.

“I have to.” Baekhyun rested both his hands on Chanyeol’s neck and pulled him back down for another kiss.

“Take me with you.” Chanyeol managed at their first break apart for a breath.

Baekhyun paused. “What?”

“You heard me.” Chanyeol pushed Baekhyun so he was completely flat against the car, his spine curved and followed the shape of the door. “I want to go with you.”

“No, you don’t. It’s dangerous.” Baekhyun shook his head, locking eyes with Chanyeol. “I’m dangerous. Especially for a good college boy like you.” Baekhyun ran his hand through Chanyeol’s hair again, pausing in the back and stroking, and Chanyeol thought he would melt into a puddle right there.

“I don’t care.” He heard himself say. “I want to go with you. I want to be with you.” Chanyeol pulled Baekhyun in for another desperate kiss. “Baekhyun, please.” Okay, maybe he was begging. “Please.”

Baekhyun took his swollen lip between his teeth and chewed it for a minute, neither of them moving from their positions. Chanyeol was still on top of him, leaning heavily, and if anyone asked Baekhyun would say that was clouding his judgement, since he would never admit to actually liking someone enough to be a passenger in his car during a race.

“Okay.” He relented after a minute. Chanyeol leaned back down to kiss him in happiness, taking his head in both his gigantic hands and pulling him close.

Chanyeol sucked on Baekhyun’s bottom lip for a couple more minutes until they heard an announcement that the final heat would be starting, and all the drivers needed to report to their cars.

Baekhyun straightened up, shoving Chanyeol back and running a hand through his hair, trying to tame it.

“Get your gorgeous ass in the car, Empire.” Chanyeol made his way around to the passenger side of the car as Baekhyun slipped into his seat.

“Chanyeol?” He paused with his hand on the door handle and turned around to be met with the confused faces of Jongin and Kyungsoo, arms around each other as they approached Baekhyun’s car. “Where are you going?”

“I’m taking a ride.”

“I told you to go home with the guy, not kill yourself for him.” Jongin shook his head. “That’s not a good idea.”

Kyungsoo ran his free hand up Jongin’s chest. “Baekhyun’s one of the best drivers out there, babe, he’ll be fine.”

“I don’t like it.” Jongin looked down at his boyfriend.

“Hey, Empire, if you’re coming then get a fucking move on.” Baekhyun rolled down the window and yelled from his side. “We need to go.”

“Chanyeol—”

“Now, Empire.” Baekhyun interrupted whatever Jongin’s next argument was going to be.

Chanyeol shrugged in his friend’s direction, pulling open the door and folding himself in the passenger seat.

“Buckle up, Chanyeol. This isn’t some petty little drive around the parking lot.” Baekhyun shifted the car into first and pulling out of the lot. “We’re going to be driving on highways and major roads, and none of them are closed.”

“You mean there are going to be civilians out there?” Chanyeol looked at Baekhyun in shock.

He nodded, turning the wheel to join the lineup. “That happens sometimes.”

“Isn’t that, I don’t know, dangerous?” Chanyeol asked as Baekhyun stopped the car in his line.

“Sure.” Baekhyun looked back at Chanyeol with a smirk. “But isn’t that the point?”

Chanyeol froze. He had Chanyeol there.

Before Chanyeol could come up with a good enough answer, the flag was down and Baekhyun, and the others, were tearing down the single stretch of highway.

“Oh, fuck.” Chanyeol smiled. “Fuck!”

Baekhyun smirked, shifting effortlessly as he drove his way to the front of the group. He pulled out in front, tearing away from the other racers as he flew around the first turn, taking them towards the congested part of town.

The adrenaline rush was back, relentless as Chanyeol watched the speedometer on the dashboard rise, breaking 120 and pushing 130 miles per hour.

Baekhyun risked a look away from the road to his first-time passenger. Chanyeol was leaning forward, looking excitedly out the windshield with wide eyes. He didn’t look scared in the slightest, it was more like a kid who’d stolen a cookie and gotten away with it, and was making their getaway in a BMW going 135 miles per hour down a major highway, surrounded by cars not going above 80. Of course, Chanyeol was just a giant kid, so it all made sense.

Chanyeol, on the other hand, had never felt freer. He was flying as the car raced down the highway, barely slowing down for turns and almost unable to hear the angry honks of the other drivers. Chanyeol, the boy who burst into tears when he was six for stealing a grape from the supermarket was now willingly taking part in an illegal street race. He was loving it, and he already knew he was addicted.

His mother was going to have an aneurysm.

“Is it always like this?” Chanyeol asked, raising his voice slightly to be heard over the engine.

“Like what?” Baekhyun asked, popping the clutch and yanking the wheel to the right, taking an exit and flying down the ramp.

“Like, I don’t know, this.” Chanyeol looked over at him. “This, exciting. Freeing. Fast.”

Baekhyun nodded. “Isn’t it great?”

“You must do this often, considering that we haven’t crashed into anything yet,” Chanyeol commented, watching the civilian cars fall behind through his window.

“Every Monday, Friday, and Saturday.” Baekhyun jerked the wheel, whipping the car around another loop to get on another highway, one that should take them back towards the starting line.

“Shit.” Chanyeol laughed. “And you’re not dead yet?”

“I may drive fast, but I don’t drive to die,” Baekhyun commented, eyeing a car through his mirror. “Oh, fuck.”

“What—”

“It’s Minho. White Jaguar, middle lane. He hates me, I hate him, he may try and run us off the road. Hold on. Side note, can you get my phone for me?”

Chanyeol scrambled, ripping through the glove box for Baekhyun’s ringing phone as Baekhyun swerved lanes, darting through cars to try and gain an edge over his competitor.

“Baekhyun’s phone, Chanyeol speaking,” Chanyeol answered, yelling to be heard over Baekhyun’s cursing at the other driver.

“Listen, Chanyeol, tell Baek we got busted.” Chanyeol recognized Kyungsoo’s voice over the speaker even though he’d only heard the male talk twice that night. “Don’t come back, it’s insane. Everyone’s taking off, and you guys need to get lost. Now.”

“The cops—” Baekhyun’s attention was on Chanyeol in an instant. “They busted the lot. We need to go.”

“Oh, fuck no. How am I supposed to get my prize money now?” Baekhyun groaned, swerving off the highway and slowing down, losing their car among the many driving through the more commercial part of town and switching from manual to automatic.

“Tell Baekhyun that that’s the least of his problems now,” Kyungsoo answered for him. “Just don’t get arrested and we’ll go from there.”

“Kyungsoo, you underestimate me.” Baekhyun yelled, turning the car onto a dark street. “I never get arrested.”

“Well, call me when you guys get home so I know you didn’t.” Kyungsoo cut the line, and Chanyeol could barely make out Jongin’s voice on the other side before the connection was lost.

“So, we could get arrested, then?” Chanyeol tried to sound nonchalant about it, but Baekhyun could sense that the poor guy was losing his mind.

“No.” For the first time that night, Baekhyun took his hand off the wheel not to shift, but to grab Chanyeol’s, rubbing the back with his thumb in a comforting manner. “I don’t get caught. We’re kind of close to my apartment, anyway. You can come in and stay until this blows over, then I can take you back to campus or Kyungsoo’s or wherever your friend wants to meet you.”

Chanyeol took a deep breath and squeezed their intertwined hands. “Okay.”

“Hey, Empire, trust me.” Baekhyun pulled out of the alley and cut across an empty gas station parking lot into an apartment complex. “We’re fine.”

He let go of Chanyeol’s hand to park the car in a corner spot, hidden by shadows under a few trees. Shakily, Chanyeol got out of the car. Baekhyun watched him worriedly, pulling his keys from the ignition and climbing out of his side. The taller was leaning against the passenger door, eyebrows furrowed beautifully and biting his bottom lip harshly with his arms crossed over his broad chest.

Baekhyun walked around and leaned next to him. “Do you mind if I take a smoke?”

Chanyeol shook his head, and Baekhyun fished his box out of the left pocket of his jacket and a lighter out of his right. He held a cigarette between his lips as he clicked his lighter, successfully lighting it on the first try and holding it to the stick, cupping the flame until it caught.

Baekhyun leaned his head back against the car, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, watching the smoke get caught up in the wind. He glanced at Chanyeol for a second, taking in the way his shoulders were tensed and he was staring daggers at a crack in the pavement.

“I wouldn’t have asked you to ride with me if I knew the cops were going to show up.” Baekhyun commented after a few minutes of silence.

“It’s fine.” Chanyeol took a deep breath. “Kyungsoo’s right, you’re a pretty safe driver, even at 150 miles per hour.”

Baekhyun let out a light chuckle. “Nah, I don’t usually push 150. Maybe 140, but even I have my limits.” He looked at Chanyeol fully, tapping his cigarette against his fingers. “But I know you’re kind of freaked, and for good reason.”

“Really, I’m good. It was probably better that I was with you anyway, then I didn’t have to worry about snagging a ride with anyone or finding Jongin when the cops showed up at the lot.” Chanyeol shifted so his right shoulder was leaning against the car and he was facing the racer, his arms still crossed. “I really should be thanking you.”

“Don’t bother.” Baekhyun took another drawl. “I’m not the kind of person anyone should be thanking. For anything.”

“You didn’t get me arrested.”

“I didn’t get arrested. You just happened to be along for the ride.”

“After I begged you to let me join.”

“Either way.” Baekhyun shrugged. “Don’t thank me. What happened, happened. It’s over. Let’s move on, yeah?”

“Yeah.” The men stood together against Baekhyun’s car in silence as Baekhyun nursed his cigarette.

“You’ve got a nice vibe going on here.”

“Vibe?” Baekhyun raised his eyebrows.

“Sure.” Chanyeol gestured to Baekhyun with his left hand. “The leather, the car, the cigarettes, the ratty old apartment.”

“How dare you judge my apartment. You haven’t even been inside yet. Empire, I expected better from you.” Baekhyun countered, glaring.

Chanyeol shrugged. “I don’t need to go inside. I can tell.”

“Oh, can you now.” Baekhyun scoffed, releasing another puff of smoke.

Chanyeol hummed, taking a step towards Baekhyun. “I can. And Jongin may have said a few things about you.”

“I am quite the conversation topic, if I do say so myself,” Baekhyun smirked.

“You’re also quite hot.”

“Oh?” Baekhyun had to admit, he hadn’t seen that one coming.

Chanyeol wrapped his right arm around Baekhyun’s shoulders. “You are.” He bent his head down and began kissing behind Baekhyun’s ear, causing the latter to shiver. “When you’re driving, and your hand is resting on the stick shift even though I wanted it to be sitting on my thigh.”

He pulled himself around, planting both his hands on either side of Baekhyun’s head. “When you’re cursing, even though I wanted to be the reason for those dirty words coming out of your beautiful mouth.” He finished at a whisper, planting his lips along Baekhyun’s jaw.

Baekhyun leaned his head back, closing his eyes and dropping his cigarette as he let out a breath. Chanyeol made sure to stomp it out as his hands found Baekhyun’s jaw, grabbing it to angle his head up in a perfect position for a kiss. Baekhyun’s empty hands gripped the bottom of Chanyeol’s jacket desperately, itching to get rid of the three inches of space between them.

“When you’re darting through traffic, your eyes completely focused on the road when all I really wanted was for them to look at me.” He leaned his forehead against the smaller’s, looking him in the eyes. Baekhyun’s eyes were wide, glazed over with lust, and he leaned up towards Chanyeol without even realizing it.

“When you run your hand through your hair, mussing it up in that perfect style that I know would look so much better if you were in bed, and it was my hand doing it.” Chanyeol leaned down so his lips were just touching Baekhyun’s, just barely.

Baekhyun whined. “Chanyeol.”

Chanyeol hummed, and Baekhyun could feel that shit in his toes. And his dick.

Fuck.

“Kiss me.”

Chanyeol was on him in a second, attacking him in a fervor that had Baekhyun more breathless than he’d been all night. Baekhyun’s back slammed into the car again as Chanyeol’s lips forced his open, taking control once again.

Baekhyun tasted like smoke and sweat, and had it been anyone else Chanyeol would’ve pulled away instantly, crinkling his nose in disgust. It suited Baekhyun, though, and it somehow only made Chanyeol want to devour the smaller even more.

One of Chanyeol’s hands dropped to wrap around Baekhyun’s lower back, pulling him close and brushing their crotches together. Baekhyun’s lips stuttered, and he gripped Chanyeol’s jacket, pulling him so close the taller could feel his heart pounding.

Chanyeol kept attacking his lips, and Baekhyun ran his hands along his structured abdomen, going underneath the jacket. He followed the harsh muscles all the way around, dragging his fingertips down Chanyeol’s spine and eliciting a deep groan from the other. Baekhyun’s hands finally came to rest in the taller’s back jean pockets, and he gave the taunt flesh a gentle squeeze.

“Shit, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol groaned. His hands found the collar of Baekhyun’s jacket and he impatiently pushed it off his shoulders, so it hung on the crook of his elbows. He began trailing his lips down Baekhyun’s neck, nipping and sucking at the tender zone. He knew he’d found a special spot, right under his ear and behind his jaw, because when he’d bitten down Baekhyun had jumped slightly and squeezed Chanyeol’s ass tighter.

“Do you want to come inside?” Baekhyun asked, breathless.

“Fuck, babe, I thought you’d never ask.” After pressing one more dominating kiss to the other’s mouth, Chanyeol took Baekhyun’s hand and began dragging him in the direction of the large complex.

Baekhyun stumbled a bit trying to keep up with Chanyeol’s long strides, eventually catching up and digging around for his keys.

“Upstairs.” Baekhyun was leading as he tugged Chanyeol’s hand towards a staircase on the side. “Third floor.”

“You couldn’t make this easy and be on the ground, could you?” Chanyeol asked with a breathless chuckle.

“If you wanted me to drop right here I would,” Baekhyun started up the stairs with Chanyeol right behind him, “but I do recall you saying that you didn’t want to get arrested tonight.” He turned around and winked. Cheeky little shit.

Once on the third floor, Baekhyun paused in front of the second door on the left, fumbling to find the lock. The lighting sucked, and his hands were shaking, and then suddenly Chanyeol was behind him and he found the spot on his jaw, and somehow his hands were on Baekhyun’s erection and shit that felt great. Chanyeol knew what he was doing—fuck.

After struggling for an impossibly long time, Baekhyun shoved the door open and stumbled in, Chanyeol still hanging on his back like a koala.

Chanyeol kicked the door shut, and Baekhyun whirled around, breaking the taller’s hold on him and shoving him back into the door. He wrapped his arms around Chanyeol’s neck, grumbling something about guys who were annoyingly tall as he pulled him down for another kiss.

The “annoyingly tall” boy grabbed Baekhyun’s jacket, yanking it down his shoulders.

“Well, maybe you’re just annoyingly short.” Chanyeol countered, dropping Baekhyun’s jacket on the ground.

“Fuck off.”

“Oh, you definitely don’t want me to do that.” Chanyeol paused for just a second, two maybe, and appreciated how great Baekhyun’s body was without the loose-fitting jacket. His red and grey t-shirt clung to his shoulders and outlined the “v” his body made as it came in at the hips. Baekhyun’s ripped skinny jeans clung to his hips and thighs beautifully, showing curves in all the right places without being too thick or too skinny.

“You’re gorgeous.” Chanyeol couldn’t help but say it as his hands found Baekhyun’s hips, pushing his shirt up so his rough fingertips could feel the delicate skin tugged around his small hipbones.

Chanyeol hadn’t seen Baekhyun blush all night but right then he did, averting his eyes and sucking his bottom lip and biting at it.

“Baekhyun—”

“Jacket.” Baekhyun’s hands grabbed the collar of Chanyeol’s own jacket and began tugging frustratedly. “Off. Now.”

Chanyeol complied instantly, releasing Baekhyun’s hips only long enough to pull his jacket off and drop next to Baekhyun’s on the floor. Baekhyun’s slender fingers grabbed the hem of Chanyeol’s shirt and he pulled that off too, adding that to the growing pile of clothes on Baekhyun’s floor.

“Fuck, you’re hot.” Baekhyun was practically drooling as he stared at Chanyeol’s chiseled abs and chest. “Maybe I should go to college.”

“Not really your scene, babe,” Chanyeol smirked, pulling Baekhyun in for another kiss. Baekhyun’s hands wrapped around his waist, kneading and pressing into the skin along Chanyeol’s lower back just above the waistband of his jeans. Chanyeol’s own hands ran up Baekhyun’s chest, pushing his shirt up in the process.

Baekhyun took the hint, pulling away and allowing Chanyeol to pull his shirt over his head. Before Chanyeol could return to kissing Baekhyun senseless, Baekhyun grabbed his hand and tugged him towards the bed around the half-wall.

Chanyeol overpowered him quickly, turning him around and kissing him, backing him up towards the bed. Baekhyun allowed himself to be guided backward, falling gracefully when his legs hit the edge. Chanyeol collapsed on top of him, crawling above him as Baekhyun slid further up the bed so he was laying in the center.

Once they were face to face, Chanyeol shoved his knee right under Baekhyun’s dick and the smaller groaned, arching his back at the contact.

Chanyeol smirked, rubbing his knee and watching as Baekhyun jutted his hips along with it, trying to find friction in the erratic rhythm.

“Fuck, Chanyeol.” Baekhyun moaned breathlessly. “Fuck, do something.”

At that, Chanyeol popped the button and unzipped Baekhyun’s jeans, climbing off and pulling them down his legs leaving the smaller clothed in only his underwear. He reclaimed his place above him once he’d pulled his own pants off too, sucking on his neck once again.

Somehow Baekhyun found the strength to flip the two, so Baekhyun was now hovering over Chanyeol who raised an eyebrow at him.

Baekhyun leaned down to capture Chanyeol’s lips in a kiss before pulling away and dragging his tongue down the length of Chanyeol’s neck. Chanyeol took a deep breath and dropped his head back against the mattress.

Baekhyun bit along his prominent collarbones, pressing a light kiss to the dip where the two sides fused together in the middle. Glancing up for a second, Baekhyun continued to make his way down Chanyeol’s chest, pressing a kiss to and sucking on each of the taller’s nipples.

“Baekhyun.” Chanyeol groaned out, arching into the small male’s mouth. “Shit.”

Continuing further, Baekhyun dragged his tongue down, down, licking his way along the divot between Chanyeol’s abs all the way down to his underwear. Kissing lightly, Baekhyun hooked his fingers in the waistband and tugged down, pulling them down Chanyeol’s impossibly long legs and dropping them off the side of the bed.

Chanyeol sighed when his erection was finally freed from his constricting underwear, looking down to see Baekhyun eye-level with his dick.

“Baek—” Baekhyun looked up to see Chanyeol groaning and fisting the bed under him at his experimental lick.

“I’m going to warn you.” Baekhyun spoke between light kisses he was peppering all along Chanyeol’s dick, “I lost my gag-reflex years ago.”

“You—shit.” Chanyeol let out a long, drawn-out groan as Baekhyun sank down, taking Chanyeol in his mouth completely. He breathed slowly through his nose, his lips wrapped tightly around the base.

Hollowing his cheeks and sucking lightly, Baekhyun slowly pushed himself back up, his weight resting on his elbows.

“Fuck, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol gasped as Baekhyun lowered himself down again. He tangled his fingers in the smaller’s hair, pushing him down, trying to get him to go deeper. Baekhyun flattened his tongue as he bobbed his head, Chanyeol’s dick breaching the tightness of his uvula and pushing down his throat. He moved his hands so they were flat on Chanyeol’s hipbones, pushing them down in the mattress as Chanyeol struggled to buck them up.

Chanyeol tightened his grip on Baekhyun’s hair causing the latter to shudder and moan, still taking Chanyeol throat deep, and Chanyeol’s eyes rolled back in his head at the vibration. Lifting a skilled hand, Baekhyun began lightly fingering his balls as he picked himself back up, licking completely from the base to the tip.

Chanyeol groaned brokenly as his hips rose, trying to chase the tight heat as Baekhyun sat up to take a breather. His hand replaced his mouth, rubbing along the length and spreading his spit evenly.

His hand still tangled in Baekhyun’s hair, Chanyeol pulled the male up to return to his lips, forcing Baekhyun to straddle his hips. Chanyeol pulled him down, sucking on Baekhyun’s tongue immediately and tasting the salty precum on the inside of his mouth in addition to the lingering smoke.

Chanyeol’s hands dropped to cup Baekhyun’s ass, and Baekhyun moaned loudly, desperately at the contact. He ground his hips down, Chanyeol guiding him, the only clothing left between them was Baekhyun’s soaking underwear.

Chanyeol tugged the annoying fabric down halfway, burying his hands underneath and feeling Baekhyun’s skin under his palms, pushing him as far down as he could in their desperate grinding.

Baekhyun moaned again. “I can’t—off. I—fuck—I need them off, Chanyeol.”

Chanyeol rolled them over so they were back in their original position, Chanyeol resting between Baekhyun’s thighs, and he sat up on his knees. He pulled the underwear the rest of the way off quickly, turning to toss them off the side of the bed.

When he shifted back over, Baekhyun was gone. He had made his way to one side of the bed, giving Chanyeol a great view of his ass as the male pulled out a bottle of lube from his nightstand. He rolled back over, and Chanyeol trapped him beneath his long arms, taking the lube from his hand.

“I can do it.” Baekhyun whispered.

Chanyeol shook his head, pressing a short but desperate kiss to the pink lips. “I got it.”

He popped the cap off and squirted a generous amount of the lube on his fingers, spreading it evenly before he positioned himself at Baekhyun’s entrance.

Gingerly, he slid one finger in and Baekhyun gasped out brokenly above him. “Finally—Jesus fucking—ah.”

Chanyeol had added another finger and was scissoring the other open, spreading his hole in preparation. He began biting and kissing all along those gorgeous hipbones as he did, and it felt like he just couldn’t get enough of Baekhyun. He had to taste him, to hold him, to feel him and prove that he was the cause for Baekhyun’s immense pleasure at the moment.

Chanyeol added a third finger and Baekhyun cried out, his hands fisting in Chanyeol’s hair as he bucked his hips up, trying to find Chanyeol’s rhythm. With one last bite, Chanyeol removed his fingers and sat up.

Lying next to the bottle of lube was a condom. Chanyeol ripped open the package and rolled it on, picking the lube back up and applying it to his dick.

“Shit, Empire, hurry the fuck up.” Baekhyun groaned out impatiently, raising himself up on his elbows to watch Chanyeol spread the cold substance evenly to his throbbing cock.

“I’m getting there.” Chanyeol collapsed back on Baekhyun when he was done. He sat on his knees between the shorter’s legs, picking them up to place them on his shoulders.

Baekhyun’s breath hitched.  Finally.

Not too slowly yet not too quickly, Chanyeol pushed into Baekhyun. The male arched his back, letting out the dirtiest moan Chanyeol had ever heard as he filled him up completely. Not giving the other much time to adjust, Chanyeol pulled out and thrust back in. Baekhyun gasped at the force, his hands reaching out to fist the covers below him.

Chanyeol kept thrusting, each one getting harder and more powerful. Baekhyun was a writhing, beautiful moaning mess below him, and he had never seen anything sexier.

Searching for that special spot, Chanyeol took Baekhyun’s legs and pulled them off his shoulders and instead pushed them into Baekhyun’s, bending the male in half.

“Fuck!” Baekhyun cried as Chanyeol began thrusting at this new angle. “Fuck, Chanyeol, more.” He wrapped his arms around his knees to hold himself in that position, but Chanyeol kept his hands there too, using the leverage to push and pull himself as he thrusted.

“Oh, shit, shit.” Baekhyun was moaning with each thrust now, babbling and unable to keep his mouth shut. Chanyeol picked up the pace, jackhammering into Baekhyun at a nearly inhuman speed and causing the latter to nearly scream.

“God, Chanyeol, fuck yes, keep going.” He moaned. Baekhyun’s arms released his legs and he began flailing them around, trying to find purchase on something, anything.

Chanyeol grabbed his wrists and pinned them above the smaller’s head, holding them with his right hand and he rested all his weight on his left. Baekhyun wrapped his legs around the other’s waist, pulling him closer with each thrust, and this new angle caused Chanyeol to ram into Baekhyun’s prostate. Chanyeol groaned out lowly at the sheer tightness of Baekhyun, it felt almost impossible to not come just looking at the male’s face.

The male’s mouth fell open in a silent scream when he did, and Chanyeol began thrusting with new vigor, breathing heavily and oh so sexily, nailing the smaller’s prostate every time. Baekhyun’s back arched, and he closed his eyes as tears began to leak out.

It was amazing. It wasn’t enough yet at the same time it was too much, and Baekhyun’s hands were stuck above his head and he felt so fucking vulnerable at the lack of control and shit that was turning him on even more, if possible.

“Hold on.” Chanyeol pulled out and Baekhyun groaned out at the loss.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me, Chanyeol, get back here and—what are—ah!” Chanyeol had grabbed a pillow and shoved it under Baekhyun’s ass before pushing back in, giving his hips another new angle to work with. He grabbed Baekhyun’s hands, pinning them above his head again as he resumed his inhuman pace from before.

This new position gave Baekhyun the extra stimulation he’d needed, and each thrust was so powerful he thought he was going to split in two at any given moment.

“Oh, Chanyeol, you’re going to break me, I—holy shit—oh my god—Chan—” Baekhyun’s eyes were rolling back in his head. His own dick was hitting his stomach with each thrust, Chanyeol’s hard abdomen pushing it into Baekhyun’s stomach and applying just enough pressure, and it was aching for a release.

Baekhyun felt that familiar warmth in his stomach, and his legs began trembling.

“Chanyeol—I’m—I need to come—fuck.”

“Come on, Baekhyun. Come for me.” Chanyeol ordered lowly and, fuck, Baekhyun came.

His back arched and his toes curled and he screamed as he experienced one of the most intense orgasms of his life. His cum shot out, covering both their stomachs and chests in the thick, hot liquid.

Chanyeol simply tightened his hold on Baekhyun’s wrists and continued thrusting, riding him through the aftershocks. He kept going, desperate for his own release and Baekhyun moaned brokenly.

Chanyeol came a few thrusts later with a sharp cry of Baekhyun’s name and a string of curses, the intensity of which milked a second, mini-orgasm from Baekhyun who was trembling from the overstimulation.

Thoroughly wrecked, it was all Baekhyun had to just lay on the bed as Chanyeol collapsed on top of him, his head on Baekhyun’s chest. He released Baekhyun’s wrists then, and Baekhyun could feel a tingling and knew they’d be bruising beautifully by morning.

The two laid there in the aftershocks long enough for the cum on their bodies to grow uncomfortably cold and sticky, but Baekhyun was too exhausted to move. Chanyeol, on the other hand, pushed himself up so he was on his elbows. He bent his head to press a few light kisses to Baekhyun’s chest, working his way up his neck to press a kiss to his lips.

Right as Baekhyun opened his mouth to deepen it, Chanyeol pushed up and stumbled off the bed in the direction of the bathroom. Propping himself up on his elbows, Baekhyun watched as Chanyeol searched the cabinets.

“Bottom left.” Baekhyun helped from his spot on the bed. He winced at how hoarse his voice was when he spoke.

“Got it.” Chanyeol pulled a couple washcloths out of the cabinet after Baekhyun’s directions, wetting them and walking back towards the bed. Baekhyun took one out of Chanyeol’s outstretched hand and they both began cleaning themselves off. The cold wetness of the washcloth was a stark contrast to the hot sweat that had been running down their bodies and so it left a trail of goosebumps where Baekhyun cleaned.

Chanyeol picked his boxers up, pulling them on and searching for his jeans.

“Empire, what the hell do you think you’re doing?” Baekhyun asked from the bed.

“Getting dressed?” Chanyeol asked, picking up his jeans and folding them so they became right-side out again.

“Okay, yeah, but I promised you a ride. You’ll get one, I just need a few more minutes to wake back up then I’ll drive you back to your place.” Baekhyun pushed himself up and slid back in the bed, climbing under the covers.

“I don’t know, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol looked forlornly at the limp jeans in his hands.

“Come on, Empire.” Baekhyun patted the empty spot next to him, his eyes half open. “Join me as we come back down to earth.”

Against his better judgement, Chanyeol dropped his pants and came around, climbing in bed next to Baekhyun. Almost impulsively, Chanyeol wrapped his arm around Baekhyun’s shoulder, and the smaller tucked himself into his side, his head on Chanyeol’s shoulder and his arm draped over his chest.

Chanyeol smelled nice, Baekhyun concluded with a light sniff. He smelled sweaty, but there was a hint of cologne, and of something in his natural scent that made Baekhyun feel safe. All he wanted to do was curl up in Chanyeol’s arms forever and live out the rest of his life from within the safe aura of the college student. Chanyeol’s arm around his shoulder felt so protective, like it was shielding Baekhyun from every shitty thing that was a part of his existence. Baekhyun couldn’t help but marvel at how perfectly he fit in Chanyeol’s side.

Once he was in bed, and comfortable, the exhaustion really hit him. Chanyeol supposed the adrenaline of the night had finally worn off, and with Baekhyun’s body heat enveloping his side he felt his eyelids start to droop, against his mind’s orders to wake up, dammit.

“Why did you start racing?” Chanyeol heard himself ask.

Baekhyun hummed. “That’s quite a story, Empire.”

“With you, everything is,” Chanyeol responded easily. “Come on.”

“It’s dark, Chanyeol, like really dark. You sure you can handle it?”

“Are you questioning my honor?”

“I’m questioning your stupidity.”

“Baekhyun.”

“I fixed up cars with my dad a lot when I was younger. We totally redid this old mustang, you should’ve seen it.” Baekhyun’s eyes were shining. “New engine, sleek blue paint, she was a goddess.” He smiled softly.

“Anyway, my mom was a full-on crack head. Always high, and she sold the shit, too. We didn’t realize just how much she was spending until some loan sharks showed up at my dad’s garage one day, demanding payment that we didn’t have. We shut down early, and my dad approached my mom about it. He sent me up to my room, but I could still hear them screaming at each other.”

Baekhyun shut his eyes tightly, losing himself in the memory. Chanyeol rubbed his hand along Baekhyun’s arm in what he hoped was a comforting manner. It must have worked, because Baekhyun took a deep breath, opened his eyes, and kept going.

“It got really quiet after a while, so I went downstairs and they were both gone. I ran out to the garage, and that mustang we’d been working on was gone too. I stuck around on my own for a while, but after around a week I called the cops. They did a search and found my dad washed up in a river somewhere, and my mom was just gone.” Baekhyun swallowed dryly.

“I have no idea if the loan sharks got to them, or if my mom went full-on insane and offed him or what. So, I got dragged into the system.” Baekhyun laughed dryly. “They act like they care about you, but they definitely don’t. I was in, what, 16 foster homes total? I was what they called a ‘troubled’ kid. Anyway, after seven years of being dragged around by the state, I turned 18 and got myself out of that hellhole.

“One of the other guys from my last foster home snuck out a few times a month to go racing. He told me about it, and so when I got out I decided to go to one. I fixed up my car and raced. It was great, and I won. My first fucking race, and I creamed the guy who came in second. What a day.” Baekhyun smiled again. “The pot was decent, and after a few races I was able to build up a savings. I bought this place a little over a year ago.”

Chanyeol looked around. The apartment was nice, albeit a bit small. Though, considering Baekhyun lived alone it wasn’t like he needed much more.

“It’s not much.” Baekhyun seemed to read his thoughts. “But it’s got a kitchen, and a bed and a bathroom. Plus, it’s all mine, you know? Like, that’s pretty fucking cool that it’s mine and no one else can fuck with this thing I’ve got going for me.”

“Your vibe,” Chanyeol spoke up.

“Precisely.” Baekhyun yawned. “Congrats. In a single night, you learned more about me than any one of my friends.”

He hit Chanyeol’s chest lightly. “Don’t go blabbing now, Empire. I won’t be happy.”

“Don’t worry,” Chanyeol replied seriously, resting his head atop Baekhyun’s.

Baekhyun’s breathing slowed down considerably, and it wasn’t hard to assume that he’d fallen asleep. Chanyeol decided that he’d give him a few minutes to rest, then bug him for a ride home.

He certainly didn’t plan on falling asleep too.

                                    ========================

 Chanyeol woke up to a loud crash of thunder, lightning flashing through the small apartment. Rain pounded against the window, and a chill had settled along his bare skin.

Of course, the sleeping boy curled into his side helped chase the cold away.

Chanyeol turned his head, squinting at the clock hung on the half wall. It was a little after 5:30. As gently as he could, he rolled over to look at the small male still curled up against his side.

All his harsh lines disappeared when Baekhyun was asleep, and he had sweat off his makeup earlier in the night, giving his whole face a softer, younger look. Chanyeol figured the boy must be around his age, maybe younger.

Chanyeol let out a deep breath, laying his head back against the pillow once again. Baekhyun groaned in his sleep and Chanyeol froze, waiting for the male to settle back down. Baekhyun rolled his head around for a second, burrowing it against Chanyeol’s shoulder. His fingers changed so they were pressing slightly into Chanyeol’s chest, almost as though he could tell that Chanyeol was thinking about leaving.

Chanyeol looked at the clock again. He had class at nine, but he needed to shower and eat something, and find his way back to campus. He never finished his reading from the night before either, and that needed to be done before his period at 10:45.

Chanyeol shot a look at Baekhyun once again, watching to see if the smaller was asleep again. Determining he was, Chanyeol maneuvered his way out of the boy’s koala hold on him, rolling gently off the bed.

Baekhyun stirred again and Chanyeol froze, watching as he grabbed the sheets in his hands and pulled them all the way up to his chin. Baekhyun rolled over, burying himself on the pillow and under the sheets. Chanyeol let out a breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding and tip-toed around the bed to pick up his discarded jeans. He grabbed them and went directly to the bathroom, shutting the door quietly and turning on the light. Chanyeol grabbed the edge of the sink and blinked rapidly, not expecting the light to be so fucking bright.

He fished his phone out of the back pocket of his pants, sighing. 5:41am, the bright screen read. 13 new messages. 6% power.

God dammit.

Chanyeol shoved his long legs into his jeans, pulling them up and buttoning them. He then turned on the sink and splashed some cold water on his face to fully wake himself up. He dried his face off with the hand towel and picked his phone back up, unlocking it.

Debating for a minute, Chanyeol decided to call one of his other roommates.

“What in the ever-living fuck do you want.” Sehun grumbled into the phone, picking up after the third ring.

“I need a ride,” Chanyeol whispered, shooting a desperate look at the door and praying Baekhyun was still asleep.

“At 5 in the goddamn morning.”

“It’s almost 6.”

“That means nothing you dipshit.”

“Oh Sehun, you get your lazy ass in your pretty little white car and come pick me up,” Chanyeol demanded.

“Why should I?”

“Fucking Christ, Sehun, don’t make me call Luhan and tell him that you have a crush on him because dammit, I will.”

“You wouldn’t.” Sehun suddenly sounded a lot more awake.

“Do you really want to try me?”

There was a pause, then a rustling. Chanyeol assumed Sehun was getting out of bed. “Text me your location.”

“I knew you’d come around.”

“Fuck you.” Sehun cut the phone. Brat.

Chanyeol turned on his location on his phone and prayed, though he wasn’t religious in the slightest, that his phone would last until Sehun got to Baekhyun’s apartment complex.

He turned on his flashlight and cut the light in the bathroom, opening the door and tip-toeing out. Chanyeol risked a look at the bed and he saw Baekhyun still curled in a ball, sheets fisted under his chin. He looked cold.

Chanyeol glanced towards the front door and his clothes piled with his shoes by the couch, then he turned to look back at Baekhyun. He couldn’t just leave him like that.

Shoving his phone in his pocket, Chanyeol slowly made his way back to the bed in the corner. As gently as he could, Chanyeol grabbed the blanket that had been shoved off the bed at some point the night before and unfolded it, laying it over the sleeping boy. Baekhyun relaxed instantly, adjusting his grip to hold the blanket along with the sheets.

Chanyeol smiled and backed up. He pulled his shirt on and threw his jacket over his arm, holding his shoes in his hand. He opened the front door silently, slipping out and shutting it just as quietly.

The open hallway was cold, and Chanyeol pulled on his jacket immediately with a shiver. He hadn’t thought that through. Shoving his feet in his vans and lacing them up, Chanyeol checked his phone again. 3%.

Wow. Great. Awesome.

Right then, his phone went off with a text from Sehun.

           I’m here asshole.

Chanyeol took a deep breath and walked over to the ledge, spotting Sehun’s white Hyundai sitting right by the staircase he and Baekhyun had stumbled up earlier that night. Chanyeol looked up at the dark sky. The rain was missing him for the most part, but he knew that the second he stepped down the stairs he was going to be soaked. He groaned internally and darted out into the weather.

“Shit!” He yelled, squinting to see through the dark and rain as he tried not to miss any steps.

“Shit, it’s cold.” He complained as he threw himself in Sehun’s passenger seat, slamming the door.

The younger man looked at him unamused as he threw a towel in Chanyeol’s face. “Who’s the dude?” He asked, shifting the car into gear and pulling out of the parking lot.

“Just a dude,” Chanyeol responded shortly, stripping out of his wet jacket and starting to dry off his arms.

“Pull off your shirt, too. I brought you one of your hoodies, it’s in the back.”

Chanyeol smiled, ripping his cold shirt off. Sehun may have complained about getting dragged out of bed in the middle of the night, but underneath that bitch persona, he was a really sweet kid. A year younger than Chanyeol, Sehun was a sophomore at the same college.

He and Jongin had taken in Sehun and Jongdae, their other roommate, when they found an apartment and were looking for new guys to split the rent. Sehun and Jongdae were in a similar position, and the four boys clicked instantly when they’d all met for dinner at one of the campus’s dining halls. How suspicious it was that Sehun’s true colors came to the surface after they’d all signed the lease?

The drive home was quiet, save for the low radio and the dull pattering of rain against the windshield. Sehun was a good driver, but it still startled Chanyeol when he glanced over to the driver’s seat and saw his roommate when he was expecting to see a certain male with a taste for speed and a need to win.

No, he definitely was not disappointed. Not in the slightest.

Or so he told himself.

It seemed like seconds later he and Sehun were dashing into their apartment, shivering and welcoming the warm air.

“Shower.” Chanyeol murmured, heading for his bedroom. “Hot shower.”

“I deserve a thank you, don’t you think?” Sehun annoyingly planted himself on Chanyeol’s doorframe. “Donuts. Gas money. A 12-pack. I’m not picky.”

Chanyeol rolled his eyes as he dug around in his dresser for fresh underwear. “You get Luhan continuing to live in ignorance of your love. Anything more and you’re going to start owing me.”

Sehun huffed, stalking down the hall to his and Jongdae’s shared room. “Bastard.”

“I’m still older than you!” Chanyeol yelled down the hall. A door slam was Sehun’s only rebuttal.

Chanyeol groaned and flopped face-first on his bed. A shower could wait, he decided. He was exhausted, and his priority was sleep. Chanyeol vaguely remembered plugging his phone in on his nightstand and he had a fleeting memory of the bed feeling empty before he fell asleep again.

                                    ========================

 “—And then, oh god, he fucking dropped to his knees right there, right in the hallway of the fucking science building, and I’m pretty sure he was actually going to suck me off then and there when—Chanyeol are you even fucking listening to me?” Jongdae sighed impatiently, slamming his hand down on the latter’s unopened notebook.

“Hm?” Chanyeol hummed, jumping up as his eyes focused on Jongdae. “Were you saying something?”

Sehun snickered behind his hand and Jongdae’s eyes narrowed. “What is going on with you? You’ve hardly touched your food.”

Chanyeol looked down, surprised to see his plate still full while the other two had already finished their lunches. “Sorry, I’m just distracted. I still have a test, and I’m not done with my paper yet.”

“Still thinking about your self-proclaimed ‘bad boy?’” Sehun asked with a smirk. Chanyeol kicked him under the table and Sehun winced at the contact, immediately complaining loudly at his “unnecessary use of violence against the youngest of the group.”

“No.” Chanyeol hissed.

“What ‘bad boy?’” Jongdae asked innocently.

“No one—”

“Chanyeol spent last night at some dude’s house.” Sehun supplied, all too happy to fill in the blanks for Jongdae.

“Look at you.” Jongdae nodded satisfactorily. “I’m so proud.”

“Thanks, I guess?” Chanyeol asked, and Jongdae nodded again.

“So, this guy is a ‘bad boy,’ huh?”

“Kind of.”

“Care to elaborate?” Sehun pestered with a smile. Chanyeol sent a glare in the younger’s direction.

“Not really—”

“He’s a friend of Kyungsoo’s,” Jongin replied instead, plopping in the seat next to Chanyeol. “Sorry I’m late. My exam ran over. You also never called me last night, asshole.” He hit Chanyeol’s arm.

“I was kind of busy, okay?” Chanyeol pouted and rubbed his reddening arm.

“And Kyungsoo is…?” Jongdae questioned.

“My boyfriend. He races cars.”

“Legally?”

“What would be the fun in that?” Jongin took a large bite of his sandwich.

“Interesting,” Sehun smirked. “And what does your mystery boy do, Chanyeol?”

“He doesn’t—”

“Who? Baekhyun?” Sehun laughed victoriously and Chanyeol laid his head on the table in despair. Jongin continued, talking around the food in his mouth. Gross. “He races too. He’s the best out there. Chanyeol could tell you all about that, he rode with him for a heat.”

Sehun’s eyes lit up, and Chanyeol can already see the blackmail being pooled and organized in behind his expressive eyes. Chanyeol loved Jongin, he really did, but sometimes his best friend was just so fucking dense that he wanted to strangle him.

Jongdae stared at Chanyeol, completely flabbergasted. “You? With an illegal street racer?”

“In bed?” Sehun cried in glee.

“Shut up.” Chanyeol hissed, lifting his head to glare at his best friend. No, ex-best friend.

“Oh, yeah. Speaking of which.” Jongin turned to Chanyeol. “There’s another race on Friday. You coming?”

“I want to come!” Sehun yelled excitedly. Jongdae simply shook his head.

“I don’t think so,” Chanyeol replied carefully. “I’m really tired, it’s been a big week and I wanted a night with Stella. I’ve been neglecting her all week.”

“Jesus, it’s no wonder you don’t have a boyfriend.” Sehun rolled his eyes. “Who the fuck names their instrument?” Sehun was learning all sorts of things about Chanyeol during that lunch period, and he was loving every second of it.

“Everyone even remotely involved with one.” Chanyeol shot back, annoyed. “Luhan named his flute Jennifer.”

Sehun gawked. Luhan plays an instrument? With his mouth? Sehun would be damned if that wasn’t the hottest thing he’d ever heard.

“So come then. What’s the harm?” Jongin asked, taking a bite of his sandwich.

“Won’t things be kind of, uh, awkward?” Chanyeol sputtered out. He hadn’t spoken to Baekhyun since their night together. Sure, he felt guilty running out on him like that, but he’d also had a feeling that it had been nothing more than a one night stand and that Baekhyun would want him gone as soon as he woke up.

Baekhyun. Somehow, the racer hadn’t left Chanyeol’s mind since Tuesday. He’d slept through his alarm and missed his first class, barely making it to his second on time after running out of the shower only to be kicked out since he’d forgotten to do the reading. Chanyeol wondered if he’d been on the other’s mind even half as often as the racer was on his. He found himself hoping that Baekhyun missed him, then chided himself for it. It was a one night stand, Chanyeol. Get a grip and move on.

Oh, god, that night. Baekhyun, who had been so beautiful, working Chanyeol up all night with his bad boy persona and his vibe and his car and his cigarette. Baekhyun, who had relinquished his hard-held control to Chanyeol just for a few hours. Baekhyun, who had looked so beautiful sprawled under Chanyeol on the bed, back arching. Baekhyun, who’s moans—

“Chanyeol?” Jongin snapped his fingers in front of Chanyeol’s face. “Welcome back. Are you good?”

“I have to get to class.” Chanyeol blurted out in a rush, standing up suddenly and grabbing his backpack and still-full plate.

“B-but—but class doesn’t start for another half hour!” Jongdae sat up, surprised by Chanyeol’s sudden outburst.

“I need to go.” Chanyeol reiterated, heading towards the dish disposal and the front door.

“Wait, Chanyeol! What about Friday?” Jongin called after him.

“Sure.” He heard himself say. No, take it back. “I have nothing better to do.” Stella’s going to be furious. Idiot.

“Perfect.” Jongin smiled a very un-Jongin-like smile, and Chanyeol had to wonder if his plan all along had been to get the taller thinking about Baekhyun long enough to convince him to go to another race.

It worked.

Unapologetically, Chanyeol tossed his uneaten food in with the pile of dirty dishes and ran out of the dining hall. He kept running, though he had plenty of time before class, all the way to the music building. Without saying ‘hello’ to anyone he passed, he opened the locker he’d rented from the school and pulled Stella out along with his songbooks and replaced her with his backpack. He slammed the locker shut, locking it and heading to a practice room on the third floor.

He needed to clear his head. Everything was just too much—why was he constantly thinking about a boy he’s only just met? Chanyeol had known when he’d gone home with Baekhyun what would happen and what the expectations of the night were, yet here he was pining after the kid like a middle school girl after some One Direction member.

“What the fuck?” He shook his head as he began tuning the guitar, setting his favorite book on the music stand and adjusting it. Focus. He did his best to shove the dark-haired boy to the far corners of his mind.

Though it seemed, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t shake the boy from his conscious. He kept screwing up the basic chords, and for some reason his left hand couldn’t center on the strings.

“Fuck me.” He groaned, digging the heels of his hands into his eyes so hard he was seeing all the colors at once.

He missed that night. The car, the ride, the dry humor and dirty flirting, the thrill of breaking the law, it almost felt like a dream. It was a dream he hadn’t wanted to wake up from yet there he was, back on campus, trapped once again in the endless cycle of “go to class, get the right grades, plan the rest of your life better than the back of your hand.”

Chanyeol was stuck. He hadn’t known how bad it had been until he’d gotten a taste of freedom, until he’d really lived for the first time in his life. He remembered all too clearly the rush of the car, the feeling of flying, and the strange security he’d gotten though the car had been racing along at 140 miles per hour.

It had been a day, less even, and he already felt so boring. So empty. He missed the adrenaline, the momentary panic and the endless relief every time a corner had been cut too close or another car almost got in the way. He wanted to go back to the races—that much he knew.

He was addicted to the danger now, and it was all Jongin’s fault. What’s new.

But then again, was it the danger Chanyeol was addicted to, or was it Baekhyun?

                                    ========================

 Chanyeol had the strangest sense of déjà vu.

Here they were, Jongin dragging Chanyeol through the crowd once again towards his boyfriend and their group.

This time, however, Chanyeol couldn’t take his eyes off a familiar grey BMW parked to the side and a waft of smoke coming up from the side.

“Is it really that hard to be on time?” Kyungsoo asked, walking up to the pair with a bright smile. Jongin smiled back, letting go of Chanyeol and instead wrapping his arm around Kyungsoo’s waist.

“Okay, Chanyeol, Kyungsoo, my boyfriend. Kyungsoo, my friend, Chanyeol.” Jongin gestured between the two.

“Nice to meet you.” Chanyeol nodded distractedly.

“Be nice.” Jongin chided, swatting him on the arm.

“Let him be,” Kyungsoo whispered. He’d spoken to Baekhyun and knew that the small racer would be looking for him too. “Baekhyun’s by his car.” He addressed Chanyeol.

“Right.” Chanyeol was making his way through the crowd towards the smoke, leaving the two boys behind in the road. He paused. “I’m going to get a drink.” He clarified before turning and walking towards the group again.

“He’s smitten,” Jongin smirked, watching his friend obviously heading for the BMW.

“So are you.” Kyungsoo nudged his boyfriend’s shoulder with his forehead.

“You’re right.” Jongin dragged his attention from Chanyeol to look down at Kyungsoo. “Now, how about a good luck kiss?”

Chanyeol tried using his height as an advantage on his way through the crowd, craning to see if he could get a glimpse of a small, dark-haired boy with a fucking cigarette between his lips.

Chanyeol could see a head of black, beautifully messy hair above the car as he came around.

Chanyeol froze. What if he doesn’t want to see me? Chanyeol realized that maybe Baekhyun had just wanted him to have sex, and he didn’t want to see him anymore now that it was done and over with. There went his nerve. He needed to go.

Before he had time to turn around and hopefully lose himself in the crowd, some drunk ran into Chanyeol’s back, pushing him around the car and landing directly in front of Baekhyun.

“Empire?” Baekhyun breathed, letting out a string of smoke and looking…relieved? What?

Before Chanyeol could respond, the drunk who’d run into him shoved him again. “What the hell, shithead? What’s your problem?”

“Nothing.” Chanyeol turned around, raising his hands in front of his face and unconsciously stepping in front of Baekhyun, who glanced worriedly at Chanyeol’s back. “Nothing, man. It was an accident.”

“Don’t fucking ‘man’ me, you ran into me.” The drunk took an accusatory step forward, pointing in Chanyeol’s face threateningly. Chanyeol may have been one of the tallest people there, yet the drunken stranger was even taller than him. “You little pussy ass—”

“Hey, I’m sorry, okay?” Chanyeol took a step back and felt Baekhyun’s hand settle reassuringly on his waist. “It was on me, right? So, I’m sorry.”

“You’d fucking better be sorry, motherfucker, or I swear to fucking god—” The man was up in Chanyeol’s face now, though Chanyeol refused to take another step back knowing it would put him at a disadvantage considering A. that would back him against the car and give the drunk the upper hand, and B. Baekhyun was behind him, and that would put the attention on the shorter male, which Chanyeol wasn’t about to let happen. “—I fucking swear to fucking god I will go straight for your little boyfriend back there.”

Geez, this guy cursed more than Sehun.

Chanyeol felt Baekhyun stiffen behind him, but he refused to take his eyes off the guy threatening the two. “We don’t want any trouble,” Chanyeol spoke slowly, sensing Baekhyun moving out from behind him. “Why don’t you just leave us alone?”

“That would be just too fucking easy.” The man sneered. Baekhyun was now fully out from Chanyeol, and he felt the smaller male remove his hand from his waist. That strange, empty feeling was back again.

“It was an accident,” Baekhyun spoke up, and both Chanyeol and the drunk turned to look at him. “He apologized, I’m apologizing, even though it was your fault, so why don’t you just get out of here?”

“You little whore—” The man took a step towards Baekhyun, but Chanyeol grabbed his arms.

“Don’t call him—ah!” The man had shoved Chanyeol back against the car, the lapels of Jongin’s leather jacket fisted in his hands. Jongin’s going to murder me 17 different ways.

“I wasn’t talking to you, bitch.” The man hissed, getting right in Chanyeol’s face again. Chanyeol could see the bloodshot eyes and smell the alcohol reeking from the guy.

“Let him go!” Suddenly the weight was gone, and Baekhyun had whirled the guy around and, shit, punched him square on the nose.

Both parties let out a wail, the guy holding his most-likely broken nose and Baekhyun cradling his hand.

“Oh, shit, oh fuck, oh my god my hand.” Baekhyun moaned, holding his hand to his chest and curling in on it.

Chanyeol was at his side in an instant. “Baekhyun, what the actual fuck did you do?!” He asked incredulously, wrapping an arm around the smaller male’s shaking shoulders. “Whoa, hey, it’s okay.”

Chanyeol gave the drunk a fleeting glance as he stood up, taking off to wherever his acquaintances were waiting for him, before returning his attention to Baekhyun.

“We need to get you some ice. Come on.” Chanyeol steered Baekhyun around and walked him around the car towards where the rest of the group was. “There’s ice in the cooler, right?”

It was a stupid question, but Baekhyun nodded anyway. “There should be.”

“Baekhyun, what the fuck?” Some guy Chanyeol had never seen before ran over to where the two were.

“Long story.” Baekhyun managed between pained breaths. “I need ice.”

“Sure, sure, I’ll meet you by your car.” The guy rushed off, and Chanyeol helped Baekhyun sit up on the hood of his car.

“Baekhyun, what the hell?” Chanyeol glared at Baekhyun.

“What?” Baekhyun glared back.

“Why the hell did you punch that guy? What the fuck were you thinking, taking on a guy twice your size?” Chanyeol nearly growled.

“Are you fucking kidding me? He was bugging you, and you weren’t going to do shit so I had to step in.” Baekhyun spoke like it was the most normal thing in the world.

“I was trying not to get violent.” Chanyeol reasoned.

“Well, he wasn’t trying to not get violent, and you have to play fire with fire, right?”

“No!” Chanyeol sighed, exasperated. “No, we should have just walked away and let him lose interest.”

“If you think I was about to leave my car near a bunch of drunks then you are very, very wrong.”

“That’s not what I—either way.” Chanyeol shook his head. “I was going to handle it, I was trying to keep you out of it.”

“You’re a literal puppy, what could you have done? I’m willing to bet that you’ve never punched a guy before. That guy was ready to beat the shit out of you, and you weren’t going to fight back? Seriously, Chanyeol, that guy was pissing me the fuck off. Don’t tell me you weren’t pissed the fuck off, too.”

Before Chanyeol could respond, the strange guy from before was back with a bag of ice and a towel. “Here, Baek.”

Baekhyun gingerly took the ice pack and laid it across his swelling knuckles. “Thanks, Yixing. Hey, how do you know if your hand is broken?”

The man, Yixing, shot Baekhyun a look that screamed, are you fucking kidding me?

“I’m asking for a friend.”

“Give me your hand.” Yixing took Baekhyun’s hand and inspected it carefully, stretching it and applying pressure and holding it in different positions all while asking questions that sounded very medical.

“I don’t think it’s broken, but it’ll be sore for a few days. I have some medical wrap in my truck, give me a second, I’ll go grab it and we’ll get you all patched up.”

“You’re the best, Xing.” Yixing shot the pair a dazzling smile before walking in the direction of a dark green pickup.

“Yixing is in medical school.” Baekhyun supplied, hissing as the ice came in contact with his injured hand again. “He’s pretty handy to keep around. A great friend too, not much of a lightweight.” Chanyeol hummed in response, watching the man walk away.

Baekhyun droned off, looking down at his hand.

“Why did you leave?” He asked suddenly, quietly, nervously.

“What?” Chanyeol turned to look at Baekhyun, who refused to lift his eyes from his lap.

“Monday. Or, I guess it was Tuesday. Why did you leave?” He looked up, meeting Chanyeol’s eyes. Chanyeol felt the same aura in surrounding them as when Baekhyun had been telling him about his past. Broken. Vulnerable. Scared.

“I—I just figured that, uh, you’d wanted me to?” Chanyeol forced out.

Baekhyun chuckled breathily. “Right. That’s why I told you my whole sob story. Because I tell that shit to everyone, right?”

“Baekhyun—”

“You know, I actually thought we had a connection, and I thought you felt it too. Not just, like, physically, but I just felt drawn to you, you know?” Baekhyun shook his head dejectedly. “I held your hand. I felt like a girl, but you got nervous and I actually fucking held your hand and—dammit, I must sound like an idiot.”

“No,” Chanyeol responded instantly. “No, you don’t.” He leaned back against the car. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you all week, you know?”

Baekhyun looked up at Chanyeol questioningly. The taller nodded.

“I skipped more classes this week than I did all last semester, because fuck you make me feel things that I haven’t felt since my last boyfriend and, just, it’s freaking me out.”

“So, you’re saying I’ve corrupted you now that you’re playing hooky on a regular basis?” Baekhyun asked with a small smile.

“That’s what you got out of what I just said?” Seriously?

Baekhyun laughed. “Well, the other stuff, too. That’s all great.” He sobered. “Actually, it’s really great, because I really want to kiss you again.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Chanyeol took Baekhyun’s face in his hands and pulled him close, connecting them lightly. Baekhyun pressed back into the kiss, his good hand coming up to circle the back of Chanyeol’s neck. Chanyeol sighed, relaxing on top of the smaller male.

Wow, would you look at that? That empty feeling was gone again. Huh.

Chanyeol licked along Baekhyun’s lower lip and the smaller granted him entrance immediately, their tongues dancing around each other. Chanyeol leaned his hands down on either side of Baekhyun’s legs, and Baekhyun smiled into the kiss as he was forced to lean back to compensate for Chanyeol’s tall form.

“Okay, so I have the—oh. Uh, I—I can come back later.” The two pulled apart to see a flushing Yixing standing awkwardly, an ace wrap and some medical tape in his hands. Baekhyun chuckled breathlessly.

“He’s all yours.” Chanyeol took a step back, Baekhyun’s left hand fitting perfectly in Chanyeol’s right. He squeezed every couple seconds as Yixing was wrapping his hand, trying not to move. Chanyeol squeezed back reassuringly as Baekhyun screwed his eyes shut.

“You’re good, Baek,” Yixing said with finality once he secured the wrap with a little clip.

“Thanks.” Baekhyun clenched his fist experimentally, smiling when he discovered that it didn’t hurt nearly as much as he thought it would.

“Are you still racing tonight?” Yixing asked.

“I think so. I have a reputation to uphold. It’s about to get a lot cooler when I win with a broken hand.”

“It’s not broken.”

“Let me milk this, Xing.” Baekhyun winked and Yixing rolled his eyes, walking off grumbling something about “drama queens.”

“You’re still racing?” Chanyeol asked worriedly.

Baekhyun shrugged. “It’s not that bad.” He clenched his fist again. “I’ll still be able to shift okay.”

Chanyeol chewed his bottom lip, squeezing Baekhyun’s hand again. He squeezed back.

“Hey, I’m a professional, remember? I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Are you doubting me?” Baekhyun asked with a gasp.

“Naturally.” Chanyeol teased.

Baekhyun smirked. “Well, since you happen to think that I won’t win, then I guess you won’t mind putting a little wager on this race?” He stroked his thumb over the back of Chanyeol’s hand.

“What’s the prize?” Chanyeol asked with a smile, leaning against the car right next to where Baekhyun was sitting.

“A date. A real one.” Baekhyun looked at Chanyeol nervously.

“I would’ve said yes if you’d just asked,” Chanyeol responded with a smile.

“Aw, where’s the fun in that, though?” Baekhyun leaned his head against Chanyeol’s shoulder, looking up at him through his fringe.

“Alright then, Byun, you have yourself a deal. You have to win though.” Chanyeol warned with a smile.

“No problem.” Baekhyun beamed. Across the lot, Kyungsoo climbed into his car with Jongin wishing him luck. “It looks like I need to go.”

“Good luck.” Chanyeol knelt down outside the open window once Baekhyun got settled, the engine sputtering to life.

“Thanks, Empire. But I don’t need it.” He smirked, running his hands over the wheel.

“Aw, come on, let me be a supportive date.” Chanyeol teased.

Baekhyun leaned through the open window and gave Chanyeol a short peck. “That’s all the luck I need.” And with that, he followed Kyungsoo out of the lot.

“You seem to be all cleared up,” Jongin commented, meeting Chanyeol as they watched their respective partners take their places in the lineup.

“Yeah.” Chanyeol smiled. “All he needs to do is win this race.”

“You do know that Baekhyun doesn’t lose, right?”

“I’m counting on it.”

                                    ========================

 Baekhyun didn’t even pull back into the lot when he won. He just stopped in front of Chanyeol, unlocking the passenger door and rolling down the window.

“Get your gorgeous ass in the car, Empire.”

Here’s a college Chanyeol all made over by his best friend Jongin to head to the races for the first time (I see them all in like Call Me Baby era except Baekhyun’s hair is dark brown/black instead of blond)

- Admin Em (certified baekyeol trash I’m not sorry)

[loadingluke]

Hysto update

Hey all, long time no chat. Warning now, this is going to be a long one.

Firstly, I apologise for not being great at updating- I think that just over time I’ve stopped using tumblr to the same level as I do other social media, When I was 14-17 I was on here all the time, but now not so much. I will still use this as a means to document my medical transition, but I often forget about it so apologies if I don’t keep everyone as updated as I used to. Once phallo happens, I’ll be documenting in writing everything that happens, and I’ll definitely share that on here as well as my private facebook group (If you are 18+ and have facebook, feel free to add this account and shoot me a message to be added: https://www.facebook.com/luke.yeet.961). I’m much more active there compared to tumblr because tumblr mobile sucks lol. I’ll also be making more videos after surgery, as you’ll see below I was really screwed around and. being the middle of semester I was struggling to keep my uni work under control, whilst arranging this all and so I did not have time to film or edit any videos. 

Anyway, now that that housekeeping is out the way, let’s have a chat about what’s happened recently. For those of you who did not know, my hysto was confirmed for September 4th, and was going to be done for free in a public hospital on Medicare (Australian public health insurance). I had my pre-op appointment on the 16/8/2018, and when I got there I found out it had been canceled without me knowing or being told. The receptionist was lovely and found out what happened and told me someone was going to see me and that they wouldn’t be long. 2 and a half hours later, I was finally seen and was told that my surgery may need to be delayed due to ‘issues with ethics approval’. 

I don’t really know what these issues were, or if my case has been submitted at all or if I was just forgotten or something. I don’t know why it was ‘potentially delayed’, but I have seen 3 specialists, and I’ve seen the surgeons now 4 times. I really didn’t know what more I could have provided, or if there is anything more I could even do, but I was more annoyed that I was not being told what I need to do to make it better.

I was really upset and stressed about it all- I get that it’s a public hospital and that I’m lucky the service is available. I’m happy to wait hours, I’m happy to work around the date I’m given with no issues. It’s just really frustrating when I’ve been seeing surgeons there at the hospital since 2016, and actively arranging this since November last year SPECIFICALLY so that it wouldn’t end up being rushed like this. The only other option I was given on the public system besides my current September date was in October, 2 weeks before my final exams. I couldn’t do any later as I’m having phalloplasty in February and I won’t be recovered enough in time for that if I have my hysto any later.

I was really frustrated by the lack of communication and how I had no answers. I needed to get time off work, and special consideration from uni and I knew I had to work really hard to arrange it around what is already a really difficult time for me study wise because I knew that I was not able to be picky with dates and times. I was so relieved once I got my date confirmed by the hospital, and I had it all arranged. A week on from my pre-op appointment, I still had no idea if I was having surgery or not as I had no one contact me since my appointment.

At that point, I called the hospital and was given a little more of an explanation. Apparently, my surgery was canceled due to ethics having an issue with my age (I am 22 for context). They had a meeting that day regarding the situation an I can expect a call later. I was told that September is about 95% chance canceled, they MAY be able to swing something if I'm really lucky but it's not looking good. Apparently, this is a hospital-wide issue and I'm not the only case dealing with something like this. I was really upset. I specifically got the ball rolling months in advance to make sure all the ethics was fine, and then in April was told it was all good, so I still have no idea why this happened. 

I then contacted my team at my gender clinic. They tried to work with the surgeons to help me, as well as steps to issue a formal complaint. Afterwards I felt a lot more positive, and I'm so grateful that they are all so supportive and helpful. It meant a lot that they are taking time out of their busy days to assist me. 

Next, I got a call from the surgeon and she didn’t have any luck, and that they won't grant approval by my September surgery date. She arranged for my surgery to be done privately- I just need to check with Bupa when they are open tomorrow that they are happy to approve it (I'm currently in my 12 month waiting period). 

I really hope that I've made it clear that I'm not frustrated at the team at the hospital (bar the communication), more the system. Whoever these ethics people are or what their issues are, they can't just go back on their decision at the 11th hour...THAT'S not ethical. I hope that what follows this is a shift in attitude because trust me, I'm making sure this isn't just swept under the rug. I will say though, I've been jumping through hoops for years to prove that I know what I am doing, and fighting tooth and nail for body autonomy and I have been doing so as long as I've been transitioning (over 6 years now). Honestly, today is my first time actually having my health care practitioners advocating on my behalf and it feels amazing having so much support. The surgeon has done everything she can, and I am so very grateful for her and the work she does for the trans community, as well as everyone at my gender clinic for being so helpful and willing to work with me to fix this awful situation.

After 3 calls to Bupa I was finally sure I’m covered for my surgery. Two people had no idea what was going on, and one person was excellent. He was furious that they weren’t just accepting that my case was ‘psychiatric’ and not a ‘pre exisiting condition’ (2 month vs 12 month waiting period, I’m currently at 8 months). He he said he’d be able to sort it out but the turn around might mean it won’t be sorted by my surgery date. Stressful times. He called back later and let me know that at the moment updating from my current standard hospital care to top level care would remove my waiting times as they’ve had to change the plans around to meet the industry standard. This was not really relevant for me, but it was a neat loophole that meant I didn’t have to worry about running around and getting emergency psych evaluations (again!) because I’m just covered either way. 

My surgeon, Dr. Kent Kuswanto, squeezed me in for a Wednesday morning pre-op appointment last week.  It was a pretty quick chat as he had already obtained all my info from the public hospital, and I'd already had 4 other appointments with gynos/specialists so I was already familiar with the procedure and what was going to be happening. He just went through basic medical stuff, like asking about smoking, medical history etc. It was pretty straightforward. Since I'm covered with Bupa, I'll be having surgery privately on Monday. I've been booked in for 11:30, fasting from 7am the day of surgery, and I'm having a total laparoscopic hysterectomy (with a robot, how exciting!).

Kent is not charging me an out of pocket cost (as I was already on the public system list and my situation was unique, but I don't know if that is the norm), but I will be charged about 200-300 by the anaesthetist, plus potentially some pathology (which will either not amount to much, or will be covered by Bupa anyway). I'll need to pay the hospital my 250 premium for Bupa on admission to the hospital, but besides that, I should be covered for everything else. 

Since stage one phallo is only 5 months away, I'm glad I'm getting this done now. If I knew at the time that this is what would have happened, I definitely would have gone privately in the first place to avoid being messed around, and I would have done it sooner, but c'est la vie ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Kent and his secretary are lovely, an I felt super well looked after. I'll make another post sometime tonight about how I'm preparing etc, but fingers crossed that's all for now until then!

[kyunsies]

Hello mädch my angel!! I hope your ramen was tasty!! (Hopefully since you ate so late you won’t be hungry later?) I also just ate recently, I made chicken parmesan and it was so good!! Hope your assignment is coming along well and that you have time to rest over the weekend and recuperate from this stressful week 🥺 (I’m about to go insane so prepare yourself…) ONE DAY IS SO GOOD AAHHHHHH I LOVE IT SO MUCH THEY’RE ALL SO HANDSOME AND KYUNS VOICE SDKSND I know you tend to like more complex songs, but I kind of like how simple and ear-wormy this one is. I’ve had it stuck in my head all day ☺️ I watched it with my sister and she also really liked it but she said she couldn’t take it seriously bc joo’s dimples/face are too cute for him to look so angsty skdlsk I’m a little sad because I’m falling so far behind on the midnight idol episodes, I’ve only watched the first two because I’m the kind of person who finds it really hard to watch long videos all the way through, so by the time I finish one episode two more have been released 😭 I’ll just keep working through them at my own pace and maybe catch up eventually, and keep getting the highlights from you 💜 Have a good night love!!

-💜💜💜

hello my sweet love 💕💓💖💘💞💗my ramen was vey good !!! i love shin ramen 🥺 but i’m running out and i need to stock up on more NDNDJ but i’m glad i didn’t have to wait too long to eat it :’) i ate at like 7pm but it’s midnight now and ,,,,,, lowkey i’m hungry again ;____; i gulped some water tho so hopefully that’ll fill my belly up while i sleep :’) !!! song chicken parm ,,,,,, sounds so good rn omg you’re gonna make my tummy rumble again KDJJD :’) i just about finished my assignment, all i have to do tomorrow is fix my reference pages and i should be good to go thank god 😭 i won’t be able to rest much tho bc i have an exam on monday + tuesday so i have to study for those tomorrow and sunday ;____; truly this was just a really bad week for me sndjjdjd hopefully next week is much better :(

AND !!!!!!! YEAH one day was actually really nice 🥺🥺 suuuuper catchy as all english tracks strive to be lol (much different than a catchy kpop song tho lol) but !!! THE WAY U KNOW MY MUSIC TASTE AFTER ALL THIS TIME LMAOOOO <3 like the song really isn’t my taste at all but it was really nice still :(((( and KDJJD your friend is very valid for falling in love with joo’s dimples 💖

also AHHH BUB ZDONT be sad :((((( it’s sooooo much content literally so much and like, the episodes are long and i understand not having the patience to watch thru them LOL esp when u don’t know what they’re saying :’) but watching kihyun and changkyun smile really just make me want to watch the whole thing half the time LOL but !!!!! it’s a lot babe don’t worry 🥺 i couldn’t even gif the ep today bc i have just been doing so much work :/ if you need the episodes you’ve missed let me know and i’ll link them for you okay !!! :) anyways angel, have the best night love you and thank you for stopping by as always 💞💗💖💕💕💓

[miss-wanderlustwriter]

The Sky (Part 2)

Billy Hargrove (Stranger Things) x Reader

~2500 words

Let me know what you think, this is my first Billy fanfic!

Feedback, suggestions & requests all welcome ♥

Summary: So after meeting Billy Hargrove at Tina’s Halloween party, feeling a heated connection but not wanting to be sucked in and used by the arsehole, he seems to appear when you’re trying to avoid him, but it’s surprisingly easy to be around him. (Yeah so I’m rubbish at summaries.)

Part 1  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5

(Of course I don’t condone the actions of Billy at all in the show, but I’m intrigued by the character and let’s face it Dacre Montgomery is hot as hell, and such an amazing actor!)

Approaching the next week of school, I had one goal: avoid Billy Hargrove. I did not need him spinning round my head and confusing everything. It was already trouble enough with the Steve and Nancy situation. Which did not improve, they officially broke up.

Steve seemed to find a friend in Dustin, and Nancy and Jonathan went MIA, again. I know it’s something to do with the upside-down, but I knew the bare minimum (alternate universe = dangerous) and they had to promise not to get me involved unless absolutely necessary (Hawkins lab rules) which was fine by me.

So I tried to focus on my school work, I wasn’t the smartest kid in class but I wasn’t stupid. Since my friends were doing god knows what in the Upside-Down, I tended to spend most of my spare time in the library studying.

And then suddenly my time wasn’t spent on my own so much and my one goal flew out the window. Billy would acknowledge me in the halls and in the classes we had together, and he just showed up one day in the library.

“This seat taken?”

I looked up to see Billy freaking Hargrove standing next to my table. I rolled my eyes at him. “No. But I swear to God Billy don’t you dare start with your arrogance and shit pick up lines trying to get into my pants because it’s not going to work” I furiously whispered.

“Okay okay princess calm down, I come in peace,” It was his turn to roll his eyes at me. “I really just want to study, I need to pass this maths exam we have in a few weeks.”

My eyes narrowed at him but I really believed him. So I gave him a nod, he sat down on the other side of the table and we studied in silence. This became the norm over the next few days, which turned into weeks. He would sit with me, actually studying, and we just offered greetings and goodbyes. It was surprisingly comfortable with him around, even though I did get distracted by how devilishly handsome he was, especially when his brow was furrowed over a maths problem.

And so today was no different. Although the maths test was on Monday, and I couldn’t help but wonder what would happen after then. My chest tightened at the thought that he wouldn’t be around anymore or bother with me, I kind of got used to his presence. He was actually quite pleasant and tolerable when he wasn’t being an arse.

“Hey there Princess.” I was brought out of my trance as he sat down in the chair closest to me today, this was new.  

“Oh hey.” As I focused back to my notes.

“You okay?” He asked with a little amusement in his voice.

“Me? Yeah I’m fine.” I said, looking back up at him.

A smirk was playing on his lips, it reached his bright blue eyes which were fixed on mine for a few seconds longer than necessary, before he looked down at his maths notes from today’s class. “Okay Princess.”

We worked in silence as usual until the bell rang signalling the end of lunch. “Hey,” Billy started as we stood up, “Can I err, drive you home tonight?” He actually looked quite sheepish, with one hand on the back of his neck.

I stopped and looked at him wide eyed, this was also new.

“Oh, yeah sure.” I automatically answered.

“Okay, see you later Princess.” He offered with a wink.

I tried my best to focus for the rest of the day but my mind was in over drive. What the hell. Billy wanted to drive me home. Why. Did this mean we were friends. Was he still just playing me like at the Halloween party. Only one way to find out.

When the bell rang at the end of the day I calmly, or as calm as I could muster, made my way across the parking lot to wear Billy was already stood leaning against his Camaro smoking a cigarette.

“Hargrove.”

“Princess.”

I rolled my eyes at the nickname that for some reason seemed to have stuck since the party. “Come on I do have an actual name you know.”

“Yeah I know.” He flicked the cigarette stub away and raised an eyebrow at me, “Coming? Y/N.”

“Maybe.” I smirked as I climbed into his car, ignoring the stares I could feel on my back.

I heard him chuckle as got in the driver’s seat. Music started blaring out the speakers as he started the car up and I couldn’t believe my ears as we were driving out the parking lot, I loved Mötley Crüe and Kickstart My Heart was one of my favourites!

“I’m impressed Hargrove, you actually have good music taste!”

“What? You didn’t think I had good taste in music?! I’m hurt Princess, real hurt.” He mockingly shot me down.

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Okay okay I’m sorry, forgiven?”

“Maybe.” He glanced sideways at me with that smirk creeping onto his face.

For the all too short journey we laughed, sang and threw banter back and forth like we’d been doing it forever. I was actually enjoying Billy Hargrove’s company; and especially his mixed tape.

We pulled up outside my house as Billy turned to me and put me under his intense stare.

“So, Tina’s having another party next weekend, I was wondering if you wanted to go? With me? As my date?” He smiles, so confidently, I can’t believe I actually nearly say yes. But a date isn’t like a ride home from school and I catch myself.

“Oh Billy,” I flash him my best smile and say “Don’t push it pretty boy; but this was fun, we should do it again some time.”  As I get out the car I slam the door shut and make my way up to my front door. Before I can take two steps I hear him shout “So you think I’m pretty then?!” And I just wave my hand in the air to dismiss him without turning around.

I was smiling to myself as I walked through the front door nearly straight into my Mom on the other side.

“Oh shit sorry Mom.”

“Hey sweetie, don’t worry,” She presses a kiss to my forehead, “I got called in for a shift at the hospital, I know I know it was meant to be my night off but they’re desperate.” She finished as I gave her a glare, she worked too hard at that hospital, but I knew they cherished her, she was one of the best nurses they had. I just wish she’d take more time to herself, but she’s always been that way, so caring.

I sighed, “Okay Mom, I know how much they need you, you’re the best.”

She smiled, “Anyways, what had you smiling like you had a secret just now?”

“What? Oh nothing.”

“Sure? Who was in the car that was driving off?”

“Just a friend,” Is he a friend?! “From school, gave me a ride home, it’s nothing.”

“Mhmm, okay sweetie, I’ll see you tomorrow.” And she left with a knowing look in her eye. Dammit, I was in for twenty questions the next time I saw her.

With Mom at work there thankfully won’t be any arguments tonight. Dad was out in the garage anyways, I’m pretty sure he lived in there more than the house when he wasn’t at work. He loved working on whatever he could get his hands on, mainly old cars he’d then sell on.

We had dinner together and he was back out there. I retreated to my room, with a glass of water and my book I was currently reading, The Hobbit, for about the fifth time. Yes I was in touch with my nerd side, I knew Mike, Dustin, Lucas and Will loved this stuff as well, it was one of the reasons I got on with them so well.

I did start to worry about them, and Nancy, Jonathan, Steve; but they have been flitting in and out of school so it can’t be that bad right. I hope they’re back soon, I’m really missing them, and in constant panic something terrible will happen. The only way I’ve been coping is throwing myself into school, and then Billy showed up into my life.

I could get lost in a book for hours, and tonight was one of those nights. Dad made me jump when he shouted ‘goodnight’ about midnight, I didn’t even hear him come upstairs. I put my book on my nightstand and changed into my grey sweat pants and a band t-shirt, AC/DC tonight, and settled into bed.

As I was drifting off to sleep I heard like a tapping noise, I dismissed it as a bird, but then it got louder and more frequent. Confused and disoriented I sat up in bed, trying to determine where it was coming from, and my drowsiness immediately vanished when I realised it was coming from my window.

I crept towards my curtains. Slowly pulling one to the side to peek out.

And what do I see, but Billy Hargrove standing on my lawn throwing rocks at my window; like some rugged, lost in time Romeo.

As soon as he saw me at the window I saw a grin spread across his face and he dropped the rest of the stones he was holding. I was frowning as I opening my window slightly. “Billy?! What the hell?” I was whisper yelling.

“Hey Princess.” Still smiling.

“What are you doing here, at this time?”

“I came to get you, you said we should have a drive again sometime, so you coming?”

I laughed to myself, as if this was happening right now, it was such a ridiculous situation. “Seriously? I didn’t mean in the middle of the night!”

“Why, got something better to do?” He replied.

“Yes, actually, it’s called sleep. You should try it sometime.”

“Can sleep when you’re dead right. Come on, it’s not like we have school tomorrow; and I just wanted some company.”

“And your first choice of company was me?” I asked shocked.

“No everyone else I tried was asleep.” He laughed as my eyes narrowed and I went to shut the window. “Yes you! Now get your cute ass down here!”

“Alright! Just keep your voice down. Jesus Christ.” I was technically already wearing clothes so I just grabbed my boots and my black hoodie, and since it was 1am I actually didn’t care what I looked like.

I crept down the hall, relieved to hear my dad snoring, down the stairs and out the front door to find Billy leaning against his car, still wearing what he’d worn all day: jeans, white t-shirt and denim jacket.

“About time.” Was all he said as I headed straight for the passenger door.

We set off and something he said earlier just hit me. “Wait, so you think I have a cute ass?” I asked, turning towards him, eyebrows raised.

He offered me one glance and a smirk, but didn’t say anything.

“I’m taking that as a yes.” I said smugly and he just shook his head.

“Where are we going anyways?” I asked.

“Somewhere secret.”

“Oh god, you’re not kidnapping me to murder me are you? Please don’t do that.” I look at him with my best innocent puppy dog eyes, making him laugh, again. I found myself enjoying making him laugh, he wasn’t really one for smiling, but I could bring it out, and that made me feel good.

“Don’t worry, it’s more so that no one sees you looking like that.” He nodded towards my outfit.

“Hey! It’s 1o'clock in the morning Mr. I’m just gonna go wake Y/N up when I know full well she’ll be in bed. You would look no better.” I said in huff. My tiredness was obviously showing.

“I’m joking Y/N, you look… cute.”

I rolled my eyes, and shifted my gaze to out the window. We were pulling up by the lake, and I was momentarily shocked into silence by how beautiful it was. The sky was clear, the moon was so bright, illuminating the lake and when Billy killed the headlights the stars appeared; like someone had just blown a handful of glitter across the black canvas.

Without thinking I got out the car and couldn’t tear my eyes off the sky until I heard Billy clear his throat. I was brought back and saw he was sitting on the hood of the car leaning against the windscreen, he patting the hood next to him and I, rather ungracefully, slide onto the hood next to him. Our arms were inches apart, I made sure of that, but this setting, the way we were with each other, made me feel the electricity filling that space.

My gaze shifted upwards again. “Billy, this is beautiful. I love the sky.”

“I know.”

My head snapped to him to see he was already looking at me. “What do you mean you know?” “Tina’s party, the night I first spoke to you, when I found you again you were sat away from everyone just staring out at the sky.”

I blushed, hoping he couldn’t see in the limited light surrounding us. I was speechless. The aggressive bad boy Billy Hargrove may have actually just been incredibly sweet to me. He noticed something about me and remembered it, enough to bring me here, to a place where the sky was a work of art.

I let myself relax a little, still watching Billy. He looked… Calm and vulnerable. I nudge him gently with my arm “Hey, so what’s up, why did you bring me out here?”

He sighed and took a while to answer but I gave him the time. “Things are a bit, heated. At home.” He glanced to gage my reaction and I didn’t give anything away. “I’m out most nights, here or driving around listening to my music, but tonight I didn’t want to be alone.”

“And you ended up outside my window?”

“I’m just as surprised as you Princess.”

“Hmm…” I tried to stop the corners of my mouth from lifting.

“What?” His eyes shifted to mine as a slight frown appeared.

“Well, I’m just trying to get my head around the fact that the keg King himself actually wants to spend time in my company! First the library study hours and now drives to the lake in the middle of the night.” I triumphantly stated, trying to lighten the mood and take his mind off whatever was happening at home.

“Yeah well don’t push it pretty girl, I might not come get you next time.” But he couldn’t hold back his smile.

And then we were laughing, and we couldn’t stop. When I could finally breath enough to speak I offered my right hand out to him “Friends?”

He hesitated for a second before taking my hand and meeting my gaze “Friends.”

[blackcoffeeandblankpagess]

hello, hello

feel like I’ve been a little MIA lately because life has been a loooot so here’s a quick lil update

I have been having a rough time sleeping lately, can’t fall asleep until late despite being in bed and then waking up early AF to workout before class/work and on sunday exhaustion finally hit me like a ton of bricks, yikes...decided to sleep an extra hour or two and REST on monday and tuesday by skipping the running/swimming and just getting in some supplemental strength because it feels good

^this morning when my alarm went off at 5:30 to run I was like...no thank you. Decided to sleep an extra hour, do my core/PT and then was hit with the bright idea to run to/from my lab to save time

SO that happened: ran ~2 miles en route to bio lab, had said lab, then went to the gym since it was nearby and the weather was cold and gross so I did a lil speed work of 0.5 WU followed by 3 x (0.5 @7:30, 0.5 @ 8:30), then ran ~1 mile home 

Not a big fan of breaking up runs like that but it gave me the mental clarity I needed before class and it was nice to change up the routine a bit

When I got to the gym I realized I didn’t have my ID and I asked the guy if he could sign me in with my number instead and he was like “I’m sorry we don’t do that” *looks around, whispers* “I’m not supposed to be telling you this but you could theoretically just enter through the back”...ironic since that was my original plan lol I love nice people

Speaking of bio lab, we got our first lab report back and everyone around me seemed to be super pissed with their grade but I did really well and the TA that graded mine wrote that I should ask my TA about interning in the lab next semester...when I got home I realized that on a different page she also wrote that it was the best lab report she had read so far and that made my heart swell because I’ve been feeling kinda meh about school lately

I feel like my head isn’t in a lot of my classes lately, I think a big part of that is that I scheduled all of them (aside from a lab and recitation) on the same days which is nice because I only have class tues-thurs but I’m on campus for 8 hours on tues and thurs so by the time I get to my final class I am buuuuurnt out. I also have had 1 or 2 midterms every week for the past 3 weeks which is better than having a ton in the same week but I’m over it, 2 more tomorrow and then no exams for a bit WOO

On the bright side I got one of the highest grades on my climate change midterm which is the class I definitely care about the most which is exciting....can’t say the same for GIS *cringe*

Leaving for my mini spring break road trip on saturday !!!

There’s probably more to say but that is a loooot so I’ll leave it at that 

Hope you’re all having fine wednesdays :)

[autoirishlitdiscourses]

Discourse of Monday, 05 July 2021

Have a good quarter. In front of the novel: what are our responsibilities to each other, students who hadn't yet gotten it in a comparative manner over time, it has some substantial strengths in a way into the A-paper turned in a genuinely excellent work here in a manner that an A-is if you don't.

Discussion notes for week 3. One student got 100%, not a demand, because I think you've got a good selection, and they looked strange, so make sure that all of the Triffids, Cormac McCarthy's The Road, which is not unusual in the Ulysses lectures which, given the context of dental exams toward the Nugents as Anglo-Irish Nugents may very well here, and your material very effectively and provided a good thumbnail background to the connections between the IRA and the construction of sympathies with Francie? Good luck on the fact that the extra credit should not be penalized for falling short by one letter and a bit more patient with silence, and will automatically receive no points on the most productive overall. I guess what I'm really saying here is some material that you have questions about how to narrow it down.

Trying to memorize, I like arrangement more. This will help your grade. Participatory-ness, I think you did eight IDs instead of by God these are impressive moves. It doesn't have, effectively, doing a large number of things would, I recall my ancient reading of the question entirely and demonstrates some grasp of basic issues if you are of course texts in more detail. To put it another way: It's often the best paper you had a really good reason for missing a scheduled recitation, please let me know if you schedule me a copy of this length. —I think this could have been possible for you to speak if no one else does feeling. If you need to be a bad thing, actually; you have any questions, and exhibiting solicitous concern for emotions that they should not be surprised by the selections in which this could have been. 643, and get you started thinking about this, and I'm trying to say, it's perfectly OK at this, but to aim to do the following venues, at However, it's easier for me. I realize of course! I'm operating on the assignment, and you played a very good job of walking a rather diffuse concept of the quietest sections I have to do with the final itself, you may arrange lines of text; carried it off at the third paragraph of the Irish pound when it comes time to get to it and are certainly other possibilities, though I tend to agree with you will have to try to remember to send out a number of points for the quarter. Here's a breakdown on your way to put it another way, would involve remembering that Yeats's father and brother both named John Butler Yeats: discussion of a response to that phrase though neither is it history in the class of what your priorities are if you have a great idea to skim the first episode: and who take a shot at getting people warmed up and down is very clear, using established academic practices, which were very articulate paper here. Hi, everyone! Ultimately, what do you want to do your recitation, you should be made. I have open chairs in both of you had a B-385 400 C 365 385 C 350 365 C-range papers: Papers in this article in the text. Which isn't to say that reading the poem and its background. And demonstrate effectively that he had discussed re-assess the performance history of songs based on The Plough and the way that shows you paid close attention to the connections between the texts. Let me know how to deliver the poem before the paper to be perhaps more flexible, is a very, very nicely acted. It would have to give up on my SoundCloud account and link to it from the absolute last minute to use my recording device to capture a recording of your paper if you'd like, and none of that's absolutely necessary you can get people started talking for four minutes, and there's no reason why you made changed the overall arc that you are planning to supply the equipment you are a fair response and said I'm not saying that it's inappropriate. Attendance and Participation I track your absences from each paragraph, you have a fair point of analysis if you go through life. Who's the Fergus about whom you're talking more effectively. As you point out, it's difficult to do this well in addition to being a good plan going into the details of your plans are generally solid. This is not just two points of the total quarter grade at this point estimate that I have to take so long to get into either one it's not necessary, then it makes your quite excellent feminist readings that you were so excited by your selection; changed done to set realistic expectations for you is so strong, and the way that McCabe is quite effective in many ways in which your paper, is Molly in an in-class recitation except for the positions we take in the way that they've been bolted on at least 24 hours in advance that I have also been participating fairly regularly, so even if you schedule a time sometime this week has basically evaporated I'll put you down a bit more about which I'm ready to write about them? I think. Think about what an ideal relationship with their mothers would be to move it there. My Window 6 p. For next week in section Wednesday night with details about exactly what you see from The Butcher Boy in the topic of Irishness, and this really means is. Thanks. In exchange, I think is a smart move would be helpful in the hope that that is thrust, not writing a draft of a problem, because week 1, because I think making a wise move, which would have been possible for this. I'm gonna pretend I didn't anticipate at the heart of what your discussion could have been pushed even further, though you got up in your recitation tomorrow.

You may find that, and their relationship and about nine billion other things that you just ran out of all of the spreadsheet, because freedom is a duplicate message. I definitely will this coming weekend. An A paper will be. The golden rule for equipment usage is that you do speak, though it's doubtless available elsewhere, too, or Eavan Boland these poems can be helpful.

How is it impossible to do it by then, so I can't you may find that discussion notes here let me record the conversation would be happy to proctor a make-up side of your passage, getting there a bit due to nervousness and/or symbolism of the landscape and love as being painful because a it presupposes a captive audience, whereas The Butcher Boy, so she is paying for their meals, and nicely grounded in a Darwinian sense? I think that having a more specific in this matter and wanted to remind people. I also appreciate that you're trying to demonstrate this. Hi! If you have read that part of the beautiful little gem that is appropriate for the quarter by 1. You also picked a good sense of where you are depending on where you want me to but I'm quite looking forward to your initial proposal. I think you have any other race I think that there are a number of students. That being said, there is a difficult text, though the ones you've picked. Playboy, and I'll be in section tonight, along with a passage discussed in a lot of important concepts for the assignment. 649; changed The proud potent titles to the group to read Patrick Kavanagh, Innocence Wherever you are the number that you may very well prepared, it's weird. It also serves to repel other types of documents in addition to being perceptive. I am REALLY, REALLY enjoying these papers. You can take you to push your analysis and that what will work for a bit better, and I feel that your thesis statement to say: if you'd like. Note that other people do some of Punishment and build dramatic tension rather than race, and need you to think about how we have some very good job, but this is not to say about gender in relation to your plan to recite part of the argument in terms of which revolve around identity formation and the historical situation. Almost everyone who requested a grade higher than an analysis of a short description of your grade by 1 p.

You're welcome to attend the entire weekend as one of three people who see the world in shades of grey are frequently eaten while the strong, gun-toting, fast-drawing, stereotypically Southern masculine characters survive and prosper under the impression that I try not to say that you follow that up by showing up to you with an incredibly useful lens to use any equipment other than you to speak on their behalf in my box South Hall 3431 by 1. You will notice, regarding the text. He would most need in order to be as successful as it's capable of doing well on the same part of this category. Research Papers, Seventh Edition; there are still two spots in the front of the interpretive problem and resolving it. It's perfectly OK. What do you want to say that I could have been reminding you since 14 October about this in your paper's structure. If you feel this way. Again, I'm one of your intended final project to me, and need you to be aggressive or confrontational, and you've remained fair to Yeats's The Song of the more interesting way to campus. My margin comments, but rather because you have been done even more effectively. Because she really wanted to focus on whatever revs your engine, intellectually speaking, and giving other people performing from Godot or from the section a bit more. For instance, you should definitely both be very different things by it. Grammar and mechanics may also, if I can ensure your paper is basically good. I'm glad to be this week, the topic down to the section website by Thursday or Friday this week's are here.

Again, I will Yes. Try thinking about it. Hi!

However, these are rather jarring—my own opinion, to be taken as Irish are more relaxed and have an A paper goes beyond the final or not, what is happening when the hmm, he is adhering strictly to the MLA Handbook for Writers of B-range paper grades discussed in the directions you want to know them yourself. Updated 28 October 2013 The cost of a particular point, just so that I need the title. Ulysses is quite interesting, although the multiple starts ate up time in the English department mail room is already an impressive move, too.

[aquarianlights]

I'm happy and sad. happy that you've been happy about your field and doing stuff. sad because imu :c

I’m sorry. :C I know. I’ve actually been so goddamn busy that I literally haven’t had time to talk to anyone except my roommates and I only talk to them because, you know, they are right here and I can talk to them while I’m doing stuff.

I love this. I absolutely love the work I’m doing. I love what I’m learning. I love the people I’m meeting. I love the connections I’m making. I can’t even begin to describe how happy I am.

The only problem is how much fucking pain I’m in every day. I was very literally in tears today even with meds in me and a heating pad on me because my fibro and ehlers danlos is so flared from overexertion. The physical pain is practically unbearable when I get home. But when I get home. . .I have just barely enough time to eat something and watch maybe one episode of something and then I have to get to work. Immediately. And if I sleep, then I have to wake up at 8am, no later, so that I can start working on stuff by AT LEAST 8:30 and leave the house by AT LEAST 10 to be on campus by AT LEAST 10:30. But, I usually just get up and get ready and then leave and do my work on campus before my first class if I’m not doing anything before that. But I’ve had a fuckton of appointments and other things going on, too.

Ie; Tomorrow? I have an appointment at 8:30. . .and then class, then I gotta stay on campus after classes to work on a bunch of stuff that’s due, then I have another appointment later in the evening and then I have to drop off some letters and run some errands and then when I get home, I have to take a shower and immediately get to work on more things. And then Friday, I formed a study group with my first and second class and we’re all meeting up in the library because we have 2 exams back to back in each class. I mean, I personally, have an exam in EVERY SINGLE CLASS Monday... but everyone in our study group has 2 exams back to back that we are all studying for on Friday. And this weekend is Pride. And I’ll be experiencing my very first Pride. And uh. . .the rest of this weekend is just hardcore fucking studying..... You have no fucking idea. And then monday is.......ugh. Doomsday. And then the week literally just...starts again with a whole bunch of other stuff due while the exams are going on and all that.

That’s just a small example of why I’ve been out of touch. That’s, uh. . . the more toned down version? I can’t even describe what my schedule was like yesterday and today. It was literal craziness and that’s why I ended up crying from pain because of the overexertion. I didn’t have time to stop. I just didn’t. And that was even with good time management skills. So I’m like. . . Ergh. Alright.

My first professor taught at Berkeley and he also went to Berkeley, so he literally started off the semester being like “If you’re not ready to learn at this pace and this level, you need to get out of my class. Now.” Four people have already dropped to this point. And I mean, there is a little note in all the syllabuses for science major science courses (ie: a bio course for sciences majors versus a regular bio course for gen ed studies) that if you find out your science course is “too hard” for you, the drop date for science major courses is a little tiny bit later than everything else because they’re apparently just ridiculously hard. Which. . .Ngl, I’m finding that out. The pace is ridiculously fast even for summer accelerated courses. I mean, I’ve been taking accelerated courses and summer courses since I turned 18. I have only taken one single summer off since I turned 18 and entered college. But uh. . .these accelerated courses are speedy compared to the “normal” level of speedy. It’s exciting and fun and makes me very happy.

The stress is a good kind of stress. It’s the stress that gets me excited and makes me smile and be in a good mood, just...ALL the time. I literally bought labels the other day and I’ve been going home and colour coding my notes to make them all pretty and stuff and agh. Doing extra things that I do NOT have time for LOL.

But uh, I mean, colour coding notes really helps. Turns out. I didn’t study at all for our first quiz, BUT since I went home and took the time to colour code the notes, the top three students ended up getting bonus points on the test for our pop quiz. Well, when the end results showed up on the board (We use an app called Kahoot which tracks the progress of each student and ranks us all as we key in our answers), I was in the top 3 of our class, so I’m getting bonus points on my exam! So turns out colour coding really pays off. I’m retaining a LOT more when I colour code versus when I don’t. I finally learned the way of studying that is right for me and I just happened upon it by accident. Lol. I guess I’m an aesthetic learning and THAT ISN’T EVEN A THING LOLOL. I guess that could be filed under visual, but it’s a very specific type of visual for me. Coz not a lot of visuals work for me. Pictures and diagrams don’t really work for me. I’m primarily kinesthetic. So saying I’m a visual learner wouldn’t be accurate. But uh... an aesthetic learner would deff be accurate. HAHA. THAT ISN’T A THING, THO. BUT I NEED IT TO BE BECAUSE IT FUCKIN’ WORKS!

Ugh. Bruh. I’m just SO. MOTHER. FUCKING. HAPPPPYYYYYYYYYY.

But.......exhausted physically. And I want to sleep for eternity. But, alas, I cannot. And I had the absolute worst fucking nightmare this morning when I finally drifted off that woke me up crying. All I remember is No Face from Spirited Away turning into Slender Man, only they were both in this weird mime-striped uniform and they were both on the wall and their heads were like... upside down and they looked like giant stringy spider-people. More spider than person. But definitely person. And they just kept staring at me and following me wherever I went and they wouldn’t fucking stop and they could hear everything I thought and I somehow knew they would punish me if I thought the wrong thing. Like a thought-crime in 1984. But it was also sort of controlling my thoughts. I was thinking my own thoughts, but it was also bending my willpower in a way. And all I remember after that is something REALLY fucked up. I remember...I think it was either my mom or my roommate holding this orange cat that almost looked like HER cat, but I somehow was distinctly aware that it wasn’t her cat and that it was this spider person’s evil familiar and that it wasn’t actually a cat. I didn’t know what it was, but it wasn’t a cat. But I do remember pounding the cats head in with a hammer, but it didn’t lose the shape of a cat. But I somehow was both viewing the cat and this No Face/Slenderman/Spider creature on the wall with an upside-down head and black-and-white striped body just staring at me both at the same time. Like a two panel comic? I could see both happening. And I could feel my chest fucking caving in and my heart pounding as pink brain matter splattered out of this cat’s head and that’s when I woke up sobbing and frantically grabbing at my pillow and trying to look around at all the corners of the room and the walls and the ceiling to make sure the thing still wasn’t fucking there. I still don’t know whether the thing made me bash in the cats head or if I did that on my own, but man that was a fucked up dream and it scared me to death and every time I close my eyes I can see that fucking thing just staring at me. Silently. Just silently fucking perched on the wall up in a corner high above me. Fucking creepy.

UH ANYWAYS. I DIGRESS! I’m gonna head off to bed now coz I’m FUCKING EXHAUSTED AND IN PAIN. And I have an appointment at fucking 8:30 in the goddamn morning so... good fucking night, I hope. Ugh.......shoot me.

I’m sorry I’ve been out of touch with everyone, though. When I finally settle into this new routine, I hope it’ll be better. Gimme a few more weeks and hopefully things will be back to normal. For those of you that stick it out with me, bless you. For those of you that don’t.... [shruggy emoji].

[canaryatlaw]

okay, let’s get this written so I can actually get to bed by like, 2 am. today was at least super productive, I didn’t get everything done that I wanted to but I still got a ton of stuff done so that’s good. I woke up to my alarm at 11:30, 15 minutes earlier than normal because I had to drop off my rental textbooks package at the UPS store, but then I realized it’s literally right on my way to PT and it’ll take me like, 30 seconds to run in the store, give them the package (postage already paid for) and leave, so I hung out for a bit then left at 12:05. Dropped the package off, went to PT. I’m kinda pissed, because my last period was like, almost cramp free for like the first time in my life, but now of course they’re back with a vengeance, and it was super uncomfortable and painful in PT, so I was ready to get out of there. As soon as I finished I ran to the bathroom and put the cramp thingy on and thankfully that helped. From there I caught the bus, took it south, then walked a bit east to go to Target. My family’s coming in tomorrow and idk how much they’re gonna like, want to eat at my apartment, but I figured I should at least be a bit prepared for such things, and plus I was running out of groceries period because I hadn’t been to the store for a while. So I ran around and stocked up on things, my mom asked if I could get some water bottles so I got a big 24 pack of them, which while checking out I put in the bottom of my cart, which of course took up a bunch of room, them piled the rest of my groceries on top of it, fitting almost all of it. I knew this would be impossible to wrangle on public transport, so I just grabbed an uber home. Because of the water bottles in the bottom, my cart thing was like, unbelievably heavy. my uber driver was a somewhat older man and he tried to pick it up and was like oh boy, this is heavy haha so we both got it in and out of the trunk, and then trying to get it up one flight of stairs to my apartment was like, the most difficult thing. the stairs each have like a little lip at the edge that hangs out over the one below it, so if I’m pulling it behind me instead of just going from edge to edge, it had to come over the lip and like, it was the worst. it took me at least 10 minutes to get it all the way up and I was super out of breath afterwards. Guess I can forget any feelings of being strong from PT exercises when I’m clearly really fucking weak. Anyway, I got to my apartment and put everything away, then ran downstairs and put my first load of laundry in. while it was being washed I decided to tackle the dishes and mess that was the kitchen, almost all of which being my doing, and since we don’t have a dishwasher (ugh) it took quite a while, but I got through it all. I ended up fitting everything into 3 loads of laundry, which believe me, was an accomplishment given how much dirty clothing I actually had. After I finished with the dishes I made a dutch baby for dinner because I do what I want, then got my final load of laundry out and dumped all the clothes on my bed to hopefully dry out because our fucking dryer doesn't work very well and leaves like, all the clothes damp. And then it was time for Arrow. very meh episode for me, I was waiting for my girl Black Siren to show up the whole time after last week’s cliffhanger with her, so them pretending like that didn’t even happen was annoying. it also didn’t feel like it advanced the plot very much, it was just like oh hey gunfight, now there’s another, gunfight, and one more, over and over again, which just isn't very interesting to me. Oh well. the finale next week better be good if you’re pulling in my girl Sara Lance, even if you’re probably killing off her father and I will literally never forgive the writers if they do that. but, you know. After Arrow was over I started dyeing my hair, because I hadn't dyed it since mid-March and I wanted it to look nice and bright for graduation pictures, especially because the graduation robes are like, red and blue (very strange choices, I know, but I’ll live) so hopefully it’ll look good with that. while the hair dye was in I started folding all the laundry on my bed. I had been hoping to be able to sort through all of it and pull out my summer clothes to switch my wardrobe over, but I knew that would take way more time than I had, and it’s not a super urgent thing (I can always just pull some summer clothes from the suitcase as needed) so I’ll put it off for now, being that I’m going to have some free time ahead anyway. Showered to get the dye out, then went back to folding clothes which took forever, and now my dresser has clothes hanging out of like, every drawer two they won’t close, lol, I have way too much clothing. And after that I started getting ready for bed and now here I am. It took me a little while between getting on my laptop and writing this, because they just announced on twitter that Jes Macallan is doing her first ever con, and IT’S IN FUCKING AUSTRALIA and like Jess and I have had this conversation so many times like worrying if we couldn’t get to her first con and what we’d do to get there, so this is legit like worst case scenario. I did entertain the thought enough to look up some flights, but the absolute cheapest I could find was like, $1350, and routed through Hong Kong, and with the massive travel time the trip would end up taking an entire week (in order to be there for the whole day both Saturday and Sunday, we’d have to leave on Wednesday to get there on Friday, then leave Monday and get back Tuesday, so that’d be a whole week away from everything, and Jess would still be teaching at that point so that couldn’t really work). AND and, it’s the weekend of my cousins wedding that I’m expected to be at, so there’s that too. Ugh, this sucks lol. but okay, it’s late and I’m tired, so I’m gonna hit the hay now. Family is flying in tomorrow, hopefully all goes well and we’ll have some fun. Goodnight my friends. Love you all dearly. 

oh, the thing I wanted to tell you about my anonymous exam ID number. we get a 4 digit number every semester to use for exams because it’s blind grading, and if you write my full birthday out (like MM/DD/YY), my number this semester was the first two and the last two digits (so 2 for month and 2 for year) and I just thought that was kind of amusing because it was definitely a coincidence. One semester my number was a 1957, which was super convenient because it was so easy to remember, lol. Okay, I done for real now. Goodnight.