#I haven’t seen most of these films so if they are bad I’m sorry

[rose-colored-hearts]

Here is my Summer Historical Movies/Series Marathon!

This marathon is in Chronological Order and is focused on British/Western European History.

Not all of these Films/Series will be historically accurate!!!

PLEASE BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR TRIGGERS https://www.doesthedogdie.com/

- Beowulf (2007) (Saxon England)

- The Last Kingdom (2015-2022) (Saxon England)

- King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (2007) (Arthurian Legend)

- The Green Knight (2021) (Arthurian Legend)

- The Lion in Winter (1968) (Richard The Lionheart)

- Kingdom of Heaven (2005) (Crusades)

-The Hollow Crown Season 1 (2013) (Richard II-Henry V)

-The King (2019) (Henry V)

- The Hollow Crown Season 2 (2016) (War of The Roses)

- A Knight’s Tale (2001) (Medieval England)

- The Outlaw King (2018) (14th Century Scotland)

- The Name of the Rose (1986) (14th Century)

- White Queen (2013) (War of the Roses)

- White Princess (2017) (War of the Roses)

- Spanish Princess (2019-2020) (Cathrine of Aragon)

- The Tudors (2007-2010) (Tudor Dynasty)

- The Other Bolelyn Girl (2008) (Henry VIII)

- Anne Boleyn (2021) (King Henry VIII)

- Wolf Hall (2015) (King Henry VIII)

- Lady Jane (1986) (Lady Jane Gray)

- Becoming Elizabeth (2022) (Elizabeth I)

- Anonymous (2011) (Shakespeare)

- Reign (2013-2017) (Mary Queen of Scots)

- Mary Queen of Scots (2018) (Queen Elizabeth I)

- Cromwell (1970) (Stuart Dynasty)

- The Favourite (2018) (18th Century)

- The Duchess (2008) (Georgian Dynasty)

- The Madness of King George (1994) (King George III)

- Queen Charlotte (2023) (Georgian Dynasty)

- Bridgerton (Regency Era)

- Young Victoria (2009) (Victorian Era)

- 1917 (2019) (WW1)

- The Kings Speech (2010) (1936)

- Dunkirk (2017) (WW2)

- The Crown (2016-2023) (Queen Elizabeth II)

- Spencer (2021) (Princess Diana)

Looking for More? Here’s selections from across time and space!

- [ ] Solomon Kane (2009) (1500’s Fantasy England)

- [ ] Six The Musical (Henry VIII’s Wives)

- [ ] Horrible Histories (2009-2014)

- [ ] Medici (2016-2019) (Renaissance Italy)

- [ ] Versailles (2015-2018) (1600’s France)

- [ ] Valhalla Rising (2009) (Viking Era)

- [ ] The Northman (2022) (Viking Era)

- [ ] Vikings (2013-2020) (Viking Era)

- [ ] The Last Duel (2021) (1300’s France)

- [ ] The Assassin (2015) (8th Century China)

- [ ] Red Cliff (2008) (China’s Three Kingdoms period)

- [ ] The Untamed (2019) (Fantasy Historical China)

- [ ] Seven Samurai (1954) (Feudal Japan)

- [ ] Love Under The Crucifix (1962) (Japan 1587)

- [ ] Dororo (2019) (Feudal Fantasy Japan)

- [ ] Hotel Rwanda (2004) (Rwanda, Africa, 1994)

- [ ] Hotel Mumbai (2018) (2008 Mumbai Attacks)

- [ ] Tanhaji: The Unsung Warrior (2020) (India, Mughal Empire)

- [ ] Alexander (2004) (Hellenistic Greece)

- [ ] Medieval (2022) (14th Century Czech Republic)

- [ ] Ran (1985) (Feudal Japan)

- [ ] The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc (1999) (Medieval France)

- [ ] Cabaret (1972) (Weimar Germany)

[swiftieblyth]

Director’s Daughter

warnings- fluff, kinda protective dad, toxic coworkers, online hate, panic attack

a/n- sorry it took so long! My writers block had been really bad lately:( hope you guys like it!

Tom was on set looking around when his eyes fell upon you. You, the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. You looked so beautiful and majestic just looking around. He had never seen you before and wondered what you were doing on set. He thought you could be lost so he walked up to you.

“Hi,” he smiled, sticking out his hand to shake yours. “I’m Tom.”

“I’m Y/N.” You smiled, shaking his hand.

“I haven’t seen you here before, is there anything I can help you with?”

“No, I’m just looking around. But thank you. What do you do?”

“Oh, I’m an actor. I’m actually the lead.”

“Oh, that’s you! My dad speaks very highly of you!”

“Oh, he does?” Tom asked. “Who’s your dad?”

You went to answer but before you could you heard your dad.

“Y/N!” The director smiled, walking up to you and giving you a hug. “How are you? Did you get here alright?”

“Yes, Dad.” You smiled, pulling away from the hug. “I miss you! How are you doing?”

“I’m doing very well, honey. How’s work, going?”

You cringed at his comment, not wanting to tell your dad that you got fired and pretty soon you will be out of money.

Tom seemed to notice your reaction and quickly improvised to quickly change the subject, making a note to possibly ask you later. “Oh, I didn’t realize you were Y/N, as in his daughter, Y/N.”

You smiled at him, grateful for the changing of subjects.

“Tom, I see you’ve met my pride and joy!” Your dad smiled. “Say, why don’t we all go out to lunch?”

💜💜💜

“So, Y/N,” your dad started. “What have you been up to?”

“Oh, not much.” You let out. “But it seems like you’ve been busy.”

“Yes, well we’re about to rap up! He smiled. You loved watching your dad talk about what he loves doing.

“That’s amazing, Dad!” You smiled, taking a sip of your wine.

Your dad was about to say something when his phone went off. He looked at it and saw who it was. “Oh, sorry, I have to take this.”

“Of course.” You smiled. Your dad smiled, kissed your head then walked off answering the phone.

“Can I ask you something?” Tom asked.

“Depends on what it is. I might have had to much to drink.”

“You haven’t even finished your first glass.”

“I very rarely drink so it might just be enough to make me talk.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. But may I proceed?”

“Be my guest.”

“Why did you act weird when your dad asked you about work?”

“Oh gosh,” you nervously chuckled looking down, running your hand up your face. “Um, truth is I got fired.”

“What? Your dad told me you had this amazing job in New York, and you were the best person there.”

“Yeah, I was.” You let out. “But then some people started spilling lies about me and I got fired.”

“Thats terrible. But why don’t you want your dad to know?”

“Because then he’ll try to get involved and that’s the last thing everyone needs.”

“How so?”

“Because it will make things worse at my job, and then the press will get a hold of it and destroy him and end his career, so then both of us will ultimately be out of a job if he got involved,” you explained, glancing over at your dad.

“So what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. All my clothes are in trash bags in my hotel and I’m leasing my apartment out to people hoping to get enough money. I’m here until filming ends but after that I don’t know.”

“What if I helped you out?” Tom asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I mean, I won’t like make it a big deal or anything, but I live in Brooklyn so when you go back to New York, you can actually just come stay at my apartment. I have an extra bedroom that you can us!”

“Are you sure? We don’t really even know each other. We just met today.”

“True, but I’m sure by the time we’re done filming in two weeks we’ll know each other better.”

💜💜💜

He was right. The two weeks had come to an end and you and Tom were practically best friends! You didn’t want to admit it because you would be living with him but you secretly had a massive crush on him.

“What you thinking about gorgeous?” You heard Tom ask knocking you out of your thoughts.

Gosh, why did he have to call you that? Gorgeous! It just makes you want him more.

“Just life,” you replied, trying to keep your voice even.

“What about it?” His piercing blue eyes were looking at you so intently you felt like you could drown in them.

“Just my whole situation.”

“He,” he let out, cupping your cheek. You were trying so hard not blush at the contact. “You don’t have to worry about it anymore. You’re going to come stay with me until you get in a better spot.”

“But what if it takes too long?”

“It won’t. It doesn’t matter how long it takes you are always going to be welcome at my apartment for as long as you need, even if that’s forever.”

“Thank you.”

💜💜💜

A few weeks later (you chose how many)

You were sitting on the couch when you heard the door unlock. You looked up, smile on your face as Tom walked in.

You saw the upset and concerned look on his face as he walked in, talking to someone on the phone, making your smile fade.

“Yeah… Im home now, I’ll talk to her. Thanks, Rach.” Tom hung up and let out a sigh.

“What’s wrong?” You asked, fear all over your face.

“Have you been on Instagram at all today?” Tom asked, sitting down next to you.

“No, why?”

“You’re going to half to talk to your dad about all this.”

“What do you mean? What happened?” You asked, as Tom handed you his phone.

“Look.” He let out as he showed you all the hate posts about you.

Y/N L/N daughter of y/d/n seen walking home with actor Tom Blyth

She just got fired from her job and now she’s with Tom Blyth?

She’s such a slut!

Tom can do better

She got fired from her job for lying about herself

“Oh my gosh,” you breathed, tears streaming down your face as you struggled to breathe.

Tom took back his phone and saw that a mental breakdown was starting, and quickly pulled you to his chest.

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay. We’re gonna fix this.” Tom’s phone started to ring and he saw it was your dad calling him. “Shoot,” he breathed answering the phone. “Hello?”

“What in the world is going one?!” Your dad yelled.

“Mr. L/N, I’m so sorry, we should have told you-“

“How long has this been going on?”

“Sir, now’s really not a good time.” He explained glancing at you. “I promise we’ll explain everything but now’s not a good time.” He looked and saw you weren’t breathing as you shook. He put his free hand on your face and rubbed his thumb against your cheek. “Hey, darling, breathe, breathe. You gotta breathe, love.”

You looked at him as best you could, tears blurring your vision. You saw that he was taking deep breathes and you copied his actions. “That’s it,” he smiled. “Good! You’re doing great, love, that’s it. Just keep going. I’m sorry, Mr. L/N, but I’m going to have to call you back later.” Tom hung up the phone and you looked at him.

“T-Tom?”

“What is it?” He asked, heart breaking at the sound of your voice like this. “What can I do to help?”

“Hold me?”

“Of course,” he cooed, pulling you to his chest. “I’m right here. We’ll figure this out, together.”

“I can move out.” You struggled.

“What?” He asked pulling away. “No! Especially not right now, you couldn’t do that to yourself.”

“But I don’t want to make things bad for you.”

“Hey,” he breathed, tucking some hair behind your ear. “I don’t care. I’m going to be with you every step of this, okay? We’re going to fix this.”

“I love you,” you breathed, hugging him again, not even thinking about it.

“I love you to darling,” he smiled, kissing your head as he held you tight.

[ghosts-and-glory]

I'm on a horror movie binge rn. Lmao I'd like to ask: what do you recommend? What are your favorites? (The one I'm watching currently is so mf boring but I'ma see it through)

I know I said I’m a film buff on Instagram and I know you saw it and I almost feel I HAVE to clarify that some of my tastes are like objectively bad. I like DARKSTAR (1974) But boy do I have recommendations.

Animated

9 (2009) It’s number 2 on my list of faves. Very very good movie

Mad God (2021) Absolutely a visual masterpiece, kinda lack plot, more vibe based.

The House (2022)

It’s a classic for a reason

The Exorcist (1973)

The Thing (1982) My all time favourite movie

The Conjuring (2013)

Parasite (2019)

Nope (2022)

Silence of the Lambs (1991)

The Mist (2007)

Not a horror but still disturbing

Schindler’s List (1993) Had to watch it in two sittings cause I felt sick

Seven (1995)

American History X (1998)

Pan’s Labyrinth (2006) Another movie I just personally love

Mid teir but I was entertained

Barbarian (2022)

Talk To Me (2022)

The Taking of Deborah Logan (2014)

Hereditary (2018) I’m sorry I laughed through this movie. The ending is really funny tho.

So bad it’s good

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) Only slasher I like and I fucking love this movie.

The Invisible Man (2022) One of my favourite bad movies

Grimcutty (2022) Watched with family and lost our minds

Hell house LLC (2005)

The Decent (2005)

Tv show honourable mentions

Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities (2022) It’s a anthology and very very good

Midnight Mass (2021)

The Fall of the House of Usher (2023)

From (2022) Kind a thriller but the gore fucks so hard.

Hight On My Watch List

Movie I wanna recommend cause I’ve heard really really good things but have yet to get my hands on.

As Above So Below (2014)

Come and See (1986)

Skinamarink (2023)

Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum (2018)

If I think of more I’ll add them. Unfortunately I don’t really have any hidden gems, most of these are relatively mainstream. It’s probably cause my memory is shit and it’s either movies I watched recently or movies that really stuck with me.

If I’m missing a mainstream movie it’s probably just because I don’t like it or haven’t seen it. I’m sorry I don’t like midsommer or the witch, I think they’re boring and not really scary. I also mostly cut movies that are horror comedies like Tusk or Cabinet in the Woods, even tho I like them haha. And I don’t really watch/ like slashers, sorry Saw and Scream movies.

I also want to mention that some movies have more triggering content ie sa and animal death. I highly recommend websites like “Common Sense Media” and “Does the Dog Die” for relatively spoiler free trigger warnings for a comfortable horror experience.

[zomboys-blog]

how i long to feel your touch.

summary: y/n’s big movie is premiering and she couldn’t be more excited, she loved everything about the movie and almost everyone she worked with, however one of her cast members just happened to be her exes new girlfriend which led to her ex coming to the premiere.

pairings: jenna ortega x fem!reader

spoiler: angst? jealousy

really short Drabble!!!!

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Y/N looked beautiful as she spoke to an interviewer who had been asking about her newest movie, unbeknownst to her a crowd had gathered behind her, all her cast members doing interviews and taking photos. y/n was finishing her interview when she was interrupted by cameras flashing immediately all in one direction, out of pure curiosity she turned to look at who had just walked in but they were already looking at her.

Y/n’s breath hitched and she felt her heart stop for a moment as she stared at the new arrival, jenna ortega. They continued to make eye contact for a moment until their moment was interrupted by jenna’s dear girlfriend, ava.

Ava had ran up to jenna and gave her a kiss, they laughed and spoke to one another with the most endearing look on their faces, y/n could feel her heart break even more than the day that they had broken up. Y/N apologized to the interviewer and left to the restroom near by to take a breather.

y/n stood their in the mirror wondering where it all went wrong, the memory of jenna breaking up with her grew like a migraine in her head, she remembered their relationship as a bad one. Consistent arguing, no communication, and cheating. For some reason, she could only remember the good parts as of right now. Sneaky kisses inbetween scenes, cuddling in their trailers, watching their films together, and spending their days off together, y/n tried to forget by seeing other people but no one was ever like jenna. She hated herself for thinking that way.

Y/N wiped the tears that threatened to fall out of her eyes and walked towards the exit. The door swung open, barely missing y/n.

“im so sorry are you-“ jenna spoke quickly before pausing as she realized who she almost hit. “oh, hello y/n i haven’t seen you in a long time” jenna said refusing to make eye contact, y/n looked down at jenna with a stare that showed how much she longed to hear jennas voice again, without thinking y/n word vomited, “whyd you do it?”

jenna was caught off guard by the sudden question, “what are you talking about?” y/n could see the confusion mixed with a want to know more in jenna’s eyes, she regretted asking the question but couldn’t back out. “whyd you break up with me jen? we were perfect together, you were all i ever wanted, i wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I changed for you jen. And you threw it all away.”

jenna’s face  faltered from the sudden raise in y/n’s voice. “i’m sorry y/n i really am, i wanted nothing more than to be with you but the consistent arguing was too much, i loved you i really did. I don’t think we should be talking right now, my girlfriend doesn’t take a particular liking towards you.”

“Oh my god your such a fucking push over now, all your girlfriend does is boss you around, your pathetic. You say you loved me but told everyone else you wanted to leave after the first month? we were together for a year you asshole! no one in their right mind would do that to someone they love. Your a coward and i regret the time that i spent with you.” Y/n couldn’t believe herself, she didn’t mean for it to come out so harsh but she couldn’t help it, she felt a mix of emotions and so did jenna.

“im sorry y/n i don’t know what else to tell you.” jenna spoke as tears fell out of her eyes.

“it doesn’t matter anymore. goodbye jenna.” y/n took one last longing glance at jenna, she wiped jenna’s tears before walking around her and leaving the bathroom.

jenna couldn’t stop herself from crying even more after hearing y/n call her ‘jenna’ she hadn’t heard that in a long time, she didn’t know how much she needed to hear it though. She realized her mistake but knew it was too late by then.

“goodbye y/n/n”

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

y/n/n = your nick name

the end

yayayay

sorry btw i got real lazy near the end

based off real experiences 🧟

[errorryx]

unraveling — part two, season nine

read on ao3 | read part one | hermitcraft, 1.6k words

the second part of my fic for MCYTblr AUFest! please do read the first part for more info about this AU if you haven't already. i did a lot of research on crochet for this chapter, but i haven't tried out any of the techniques myself, only watched and read explanations of it. sorry if there's any inaccuracies!

—

Pearl drops in on her unexpectedly, while she’s working on a new armor stand project. Cleo has her headphones in because she’s filming this for the statues guild, who provide her with feedback whenever she uploads her videos. She doesn’t hear what Pearl’s saying, but she can see Pearl waving around a small pink stick to get her attention.

It takes Cleo several moments to realize that the stick is a crochet-needle-thingy, and several more moments to put the pieces together and realize that Pearl’s asking her for help. She mutes the audio and takes off her headphones. 

“Got a minute?” Pearl asks.

“Is it serious?”

“Ehh. I can ask someone else if you’re busy.”

Cleo narrows her eyes. “That’s a yes, then.”

“Sorry if I’m interrupting! I just thought you might know a thing or two about this kind of maintenance,” Pearl says, looking sheepish as Cleo snaps her book shut and switches off the camera.

“What kind of maintenance would that be?”

“Body maintenance, I suppose.”

“Surely you don’t need me to tell you that you’re supposed to eat regularly and take showers.”

“That’s not really what I—”

“I know. Just messing with you. What can I do to help?”

Pearl hands her the needle. “Do you know how to crochet?”

Cleo raises her eyebrows as she accepts the needle from Pearl—no, it’s called a hook, she remembers that now. “Maybe,” she says. “I tried it very briefly, but I haven’t touched it in years. I could use a refresher.”

“I can walk you through it. I just need someone else’s help because I can’t reach.” Pearl turns around and pulls up her jacket, revealing a hole in the stitching of her lower back. Cleo can see the stuffing poking out, but Pearl doesn’t seem too bothered, so she must not be in any pain.

“I can see why that would be a problem,” Cleo says. “How did this happen?”

“I snagged it on something while I was building. Happens to me all the time. It didn’t tear, but the more I move around, the more it unravels, so I want to nip it in the bud as quickly as possible.” Pearl glances around, then makes a beeline to a mostly-empty desk up against the wall. She begins taking things out of her inventory—several small plastic clips, a skein of thick white yarn, a pair of scissors, a second crochet hook, and a row of chain stitches on the end of a skein of thinner pink yarn. “Okay, first things first.”

She removes the jacket, and the wings come with it. Cleo ought to have seen that one coming, actually, but it still comes as a surprise. They remember hearing Grian’s claim last season that Pearl can use her wings to fly. They hadn’t believed him at the time, but now they can be certain he was lying.

“Any loose yarn around the hole needs to be secured with these,” Pearl says, dropping the tiny clips into Cleo’s hand. “Then I can demonstrate the stitch for you. It’s just a single stitch, so if you’ve done this before, I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it pretty quickly.”

She turns around, and Cleo takes the clips, sliding them through the gaps in the stitching. “You were right to come to me,” they say, laughing dryly. “This would be enough to get most of the other Hermits panicking about screwing it up already.”

“I did try this with Gem once,” Pearl says. “It was definitely a lot more panicky.”

“How’d she do?”

Pearl laughs, and Cleo can hear the fondness in her voice. “We got there eventually.”

“That bad, huh?” Cleo finishes up with the clips. “Okay, show me this stitch.”

They flick on the desk light, and Pearl takes her needle in hand, showing Cleo the chain stitch row she brought with her. “You probably would’ve learned this one first after the chain stitch,” she says. “It’s super easy. You start by hooking this second chain on the row beneath…”

She demonstrates each step of the stitch slowly and carefully. After three stitches, she hands it over to Cleo to try, and Cleo takes the hook, trying to replicate Pearl’s motions.

“Oh, that wasn’t right,” they say, pulling it back out.

“Need me to show you again?”

“No, I know what I did wrong, let me…”

Cleo squares her shoulders and looks closely at the yarn. She can do this. Hook, loop, loop, pull. It’s a simple pattern, and after a few stitches she begins to find a rhythm with it and dares to go a little faster.

“There you go! Let me see,” Pearl says, peering over Cleo’s stitches. “Those look good, just be careful not to pull too tight. Keep it nice and loose.”

“Got it.” Cleo does another few stitches, keeping them loose but not too loose. Muscle memory from half a decade ago starts to kick in, and before she knows it, she’s finished the row. “That wasn’t too bad.”

“I’ve also got to show you the magic knot,” Pearl says. “Have you done that one before?”

“It sounds familiar,” Cleo says. "Pretty sure I opted for a different method, but a knot's probably a sturdier choice for a part of your body.”

Pearl clips two pieces of yarn from the white skein, then lays them down parallel to each other. She ties a simple knot with the top strand around the bottom strand, then does the opposite with the bottom strand. After both knots are tightened, she pulls the loose ends apart, and the knots slide together. She takes a pair of scissors and clips the ends off very close to the knot.

“There!” she says, holding up the finished product: a single connected strand of yarn with a tiny knot in the center. “Now you try.”

“That’s ridiculously simple,” Cleo says. She recreates the knot easily, clipping off the extra ends and pulling on the strand from both sides. The knot holds firm. “This is brilliant. Why was I ever doing it the other way?”

“Do you think you’re ready to fix me, or do you want more practice?” Pearl asks. “I don't know how much loose yarn is left back there, but the knots will be harder to tie if the strands are too short.”

“Maybe a bit more practice, just to be safe.” Cleo takes up the practice stitches again and goes through another short row, then half of a third. She ties the magic knot a few times with shorter and shorter strands before she declares herself ready.

“Don’t worry if it looks messy,” Pearl says as Cleo starts tying the first magic knot. “I don’t need it to be perfect. I just need it to stay.”

“This is going to take a while,” Cleo realizes, looking at the hole again. It spans at least four or five rows, each twice as long as her practice rows. “You should probably make yourself comfortable.”

“I could lay on top of the desk,” Pearl suggests with a laugh. She pushes everything to the back of the desk, setting the scissors aside on the chair for Cleo’s use, and lays on her stomach, propping her head up on her elbows.

“Is that comfortable?” Cleo asks, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m all good! I don’t really get muscle strain.”

“Oh, duh, that makes sense.”

Cleo gets to work, taking it slowly. “I really am glad I came to you,” Pearl says. “You’re very relaxed about the whole process.”

“Oh, of course,” Cleo says. “You have to keep a level head with these sorts of things, or you’re never going to get anywhere.”

“Exactly!” Pearl says, holding her arms out for emphasis. “Oh, sorry. I’ll try to stay still. It’s just nice to be doing this with someone who gets it.”

“It does raise some questions, you know.” Cleo’s thought about this before, and she has yet to come up with a satisfactory answer. “The way we are.”

“The whole replacing-bits-of-ourselves thing, you mean?”

“Yes, that.” Cleo’s done a lot of grafts over the years, to the point where she’s given up trying to remember them all. “Sometimes I think about it at night when I’m trying to fall asleep. You know, the old standbys: how much of the original me is left? Am I still the same player if most of me is something else?”

“I used to have those thoughts all the time,” Pearl says. “And one day I just decided, hey, I’m still me, right? No matter how many times I have to stitch myself back up. There’s nothing so important that I keep stored in some silly fabric. Or some silly rotten flesh. All the parts of me that matter are here to stay.”

“That’s actually really lovely.” Cleo’s hands stopped moving at some point while Pearl was speaking, so they take it as an opportunity to examine the work they’ve done so far. “I think I’m getting the hang of this.”

Pearl cranes her neck in an attempt to get a look, but gives up. “Your practice stitches were good, I trust your judgment.”

“I’m nearly finished,” Cleo tells her, looping through a few more stitches. “Just this last knot, and then…” She steps back, satisfied. “There you go!”

Pearl gets back to her feet, then stretches herself out, bending over and reaching down to her toes. “Thank you so much for helping me out,” she says. “I’m happy to return the favor if you ever need it.”

“I appreciate the offer,” Cleo tells her, “but I should warn you, my tune-ups aren’t so neat and tidy.”

“I don’t mind getting my hands dirty,” Pearl says as she shrugs on her jacket. “That stuff doesn’t bother me, anyway. No reason to be afraid of some blood and guts when you don’t have any of your own!”

—

if you read this all the way through and enjoyed, please consider reblogging!

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[jastersmohnson]

Lizzy Caplan’s full thoughts on the “Monkey Business” episode

This is from an article that was published in December.  I just discovered it (apologies if it’s already been shared), but I thought it was pretty illuminating.  I had no idea that Lizzy had such distain for the scene, I do feel very sorry for her.  It’s bizarre that Michelle Ashford and the writers insisted on the storyline making it to air when the cast and crew seemed fairly vocal about it being a bad idea, and the critics and audience have almost unanimously agreed that it’s the worst episode of the show by several degrees.

So here’s Lizzy’s full thoughts on the scene/storyline, filmed on her birthday, June 30, 2015:

“This was season three, which was not our strongest season — like, objectively and for some very valid reasons that are not worth getting into now. It was not as refined, let’s say, as the first couple seasons.

“So, it was summer. We were deep into shooting the season and one weekend Annaleigh Ashford, who is amazing and lovely and was on the show, she was doing a cabaret show in Las Vegas. A bunch of us decided to go. My birthday was that upcoming Monday and it was also the very early days of dating my now-husband. We wanted to go have this fun, early birthday Vegas weekend.

“It was a perfectly debauched weekend and then we flew back to LA Sunday night and I was in pretty rough shape. Very hung over. Like, Vegas hung over. And then Monday morning, crack of dawn, I had to be back at work.

“We were shooting in Griffith Park all day. It was easily 100 degrees outside. So hot and there was not a lot of shade and I was still feeling pretty bad from the night before. Exhausted, nauseous, overheating in all those wool clothes that people wore back in the 50s, with 30 undergarments underneath.

“And I’m also dreading the scene we had to shoot that day. I had been trying to convince myself that it wasn’t going to be as bad as I feared because this is a respectable show! The setup of the episode — I have never watched this nor will I ever watch it — was that esteemed sex researchers Masters and Johnson are called to the St. Louis Zoo because their gorilla just won’t mate and (the zoo staff) are tearing their hair out and they need help. And who are you going to call? Sex researchers.

“Somehow Masters and Johnson come to this realization that this frigid — I don’t even know if you can use the word ‘frigid’ for a male gorilla? — but this frigid gorilla needed motivation to get there. So my character, Virginia Johnson, does the most obvious and logical thing, which is to expose her breasts to the gorilla to inspire him to mate.

“When I tell you the amount of times we tried to push back on this storyline (laughs) to no avail. So here we are on set, it’s happening.

“And I remember this very, very vividly: I was feeling physically terrible, but also a deep, deep, deep embarrassment. I think it was hour 13 of what ended up being a 16-hour scorching hot day. And I’m unbuttoning my blouse to show my boobs to a man in a gorilla suit. And also, please don’t forget: It was my birthday.

“The camera was focused on my back, so you didn’t see nudity. You see me from behind, opening my blouse — I’m 90% sure it was only from the back. Again, I haven’t seen it. From my understanding, I wasn’t showing nudity, but it was very implied. And nudity was not uncommon on that show.

“So I remember looking over at the camera guy and I just saw the pity on his face as he’s mouthing: ‘I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.’ And he was actually a camera guy on ‘Fleishman is in Trouble,’ so we were just reminiscing about this.

“So I do the thing and I’m filled with a deep guttural shame — I didn’t want to do it but I had to do it. Then (laughs), the man in the gorilla suit — who is the only person on set having a worse day than me because it’s a billion degrees outside and he had to spend the whole day in this gorilla suit — he, in character, reacts to this display and then the gorilla is in fact inspired (laughs) by a human woman flashing him her breasts.

“And then the guy proceeds to go and start mating with the female gorilla.

“But the really crazy thing is that the guy in the female gorilla suit? That was the male gorilla’s actual son.

“So he had to look at me, and then make his way over to his son and pretend to mate with him.

“And I just wanted to walk into the ocean and die. That was the worst moment I’ve ever had at work.

“Working on that show was one of the most collaborative experiences, which was probably why this felt extra strange. There were things that pushed my level of comfort, but certainly, it was all my own choice and I was aiming to push it. I was never pushed by any producers to do anything I didn’t want to do — up until this point. There were a lot of times on that show where I had to steel myself in my trailer beforehand for scenes that I really believed in, but I was never pushed into doing anything. Which is why this felt like such an anomaly.

“When I signed up for this show, I had a pretty good idea of what might be involved. But it’s safe to assume that I did not anticipate I would be asked to show my breasts to a man in a gorilla suit in order to inspire the gorilla to mate.

“But also that’s what made everybody so sad. This was a show that was so respected and deservedly so. This is one of the jobs I’m most proud of ever, I’m so happy I was in this show. But there was something stinky about this third season. And to all of a sudden go from this lofty level of prestige to flashing your breasts to a gorilla — that feels like a pretty steep drop.

“The scene was made up, I say that with 99% certainty. I think they really were asked to go to the zoo, but I highly doubt — because it doesn’t even make sense! I don’t think this is how animal psychology works. I have no degree in animal husbandry, but I think it’s safe to assume this was a flight of fancy from some writer.

“Michael Sheen was as horrified as I was, if not more so somehow. Nobody wanted to look anybody else in the eye the whole time (laughs), it was horrifying.

“And it was so clear that everybody — the crew, who feel like the true team you’re playing on — we all felt the same. I couldn’t wait to get to a point where this was funny. But in that moment, it didn’t feel funny to me at all.

“I was probably a little more afraid to speak about this thing, even in a joking way, at first. But we had to do some press pretty soon after and Michael Sheen just went right into how stupid this gorilla thing was (laughs).

“I can’t imagine what this was like for the two guys in the gorilla suits. And they were clearly the best in the business. They were great at being gorillas! But you need therapy after that.

“I just imagine them driving home in complete silence (laughs) not knowing how to process the day.

“Perhaps we should employ the use of female breasts to solve all the world’s problems. Female breasts will heal the world — or at least, the world of the frigid gorillas in 1950s St. Louis.

“When I heard about this column, I knew there was no other story that would hold a candle to the level of deep shame I felt. I was feeling anger when I got home at the end of that day, but my boyfriend and I had this dinner reservation, and by the time we went to dinner, I was a shell of a human. It was definitely a memorable birthday.”

[the-teddy-bear-butch]

Im sorry if this is dumb but can i ask what the deal with stranger things is? Feel like there’s something i missed (why you don’t want to be involved with it anymore etc)

There are people more educated and better with their words than me, so forgive me if this isn’t the most eloquent explanation.

It’s a lot of things leading up to just not really wanting to watch anymore. There’s minor things, the fandom as whole becoming less enjoyable, the person who drove everyone away from the Ronance tag with spam, and the people who did the same by filling the tag with Steddie and mistagged background Ronance.

I am enjoying the storyline less and less. The inconsistent characterization is annoying, for one.

I am irritated with Netflix and their cancellation of wlw media but continued renewals for mlm and straight media. I don’t want to give them the watch hours.

But that is all trivial. The biggest thing is just the EXTREMELY poor way that the show has handled some pretty major things. The Russia plotline in ST4 was filmed in a Nazi prison, which they then advertised as a hotel. I don’t think I have to explain why that’s bad and insensitive.

There is also the matter of one of the most major historical events I have yet lived to see. The atrocities that are being committed by Israel in their occupation and genocide in Palestine are just that—atrocities. I want to make it very clear where I stand on that: Palestine needs to be free. (Again, if I’m not wording this properly, forgive me, I just woke up and I’m not the best at explaining things). I support the boycotts. I’m surprised I haven’t seen a call for boycotting Stranger Things. I know for sure Noah Schnapp supports zionism, regardless of his half assed “apology.” We all know that was a publicity stunt. Murray’s actor downright refuses to apologize and is advertising his support to Israel. The whole thing is just disgusting and further driving me away from the show as a whole.

Maybe I’m taking it to the extreme with plans to orphan and discontinue my ST fics, but I just do not want to be associated with zionists, nor do I find any enjoyment from writing ST anymore.

So yeah. Lots of reasons. From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.

[mariailoveyou-guerin]

watched tenet for the 7th time first of all Neil and the protagonist are literally boyfriends been know since first time I watched it you can’t tell me other wise the way Neil kept coming back in time in revert to save the protagonist they IN LOVE YOUR HONOUR the give doctor and river song vibes 2nd how come I’ve watched this 7 times yet I ain’t know that was Aaron as Ives or maybe I did and just forgot Aaron Taylor discography insane this to bullet train now that’s marvel actor done great now rdj too cuz he’s in Nolan movie too! back to the movie I can without a doubt

say this is Nolan greatest film I’m sorry it’s this or memento that’s just facts and prestige is 3rd best Nolan movie ofc I’m so sorry people didn’t get tenet the first time or 2nd or 3rd time it’s literally one of the greatest movies and Nolan greatest movie no doubt in my mind I’m sorry y’all dumb and couldn’t understand the nuance of the movie the storytelling and plot but that’s just seems like you problem imagine not like one of the greatest movies bc you didn’t get it so you hated and gave it bad reviews ah fcvk it was also clearly racism involved cuz wryly the one time the main lead actor is black man in Nolan movie y’all hate it an give bad reviews and rankings it’s like how y’all treat every black lead movie especially the princess/superheroes movies bc y’all believe they taking away roles from ur fav same old yt actors

it’s clear it was racism that fuelled the hatred for tenet you can’t convince me y’all would’ve ate it up if it was yt actor y’all love who did the movie like y’all already loving Oppenheimer even tho y’all haven’t even seen it and will give great rankings reviews etc call it his

best work etc bla bla give it a high RT same old same old yt privilege sh*t while we on Oppenheimer was it hints in the movie bc they talked about him and atomic so much in the movie it’s like Nolan was giving us obvious huge clues hints that it was gonna be his next movie and it is the amount of times they talked about Oppenheimer atomic b0mbs grandfather of the blax2 it’s clear he was letting us know imagine if tenet and Oppenheimer was in the same universe that would’ve been so cool cuz they can invert themselves back in time what if they somehow found

a way it would’ve been so cool I know they can’t go that far back to a time where they weren’t born but its Nolan be most have a way of doing that it would’ve been so awesome cuz the guy we never met was getting things from the future what if he made sure Oppenheimer got the idea

the future or whatever that would’ve been the most mind blowing sh*t to ever happen in film imagine if Nolan created his own multiverse like this with tenet being a way for Oppenheimer sort of? and why do I feel we getting a tenet2 plz god tell me we are plz Nolan need them back

I need the boyfriends back I need to know how they met how he recruited her how he became aware of the whole thing from Neil and the protagonist perspective this time since we only saw Neil knowing the protagonist for years they literally been bfs for years I’m gonna end it all

bc why would the protagonist feel so strongly about a man he just met unless he subconsciously knew they were more he was crying for godsake over a guy he met few days ago max a month but he also knew Kat that long yet he been villing to risk her life for the mission timex2 again

[coulsons-fullmetal-cellist]

You've Got a Friend in Me

(Dieter x horror loving female)

Words: 1, 528

Summary: you reveal to your best friend the identity of the man you’re dating

Warnings: lots of swearing, Dieter doing negative self-talk, talk of an abusive ex, but lots of adorable fluffy stuff

Check out masterlist here

Hey Nora, I know you’ve been asking for months now about the identity of my mystery man. I haven’t told you because I know you probably won’t have the most positive reaction. I am going to tell you his name but promise me you will think about it for at least 24 hours and not fly off the handle in a gut reaction.

Okay, the name of the man I’m dating is…

“DIETER BRAVO?!!!”

“I knew you were going to react badly.”

You had the volume of your laptop on low but still the voice of your best friend could be heard throughout your apartment.

“This is my calm mode actually. I was originally going to do the 14 hour flight up there so I can strangle the man myself but I promised I’d stew about it.”

“And?”

“I still want to strangle him but not as much as before.”

Nora was the first friend you had when you moved to New Zealand as a fresh faced just-out-of-high-school girl. She took you under her wing and taught you everything there is to know about special effects makeup. She would literally protect you from anything and anyone as she had that fiery Māori blood in her. She could scare off anyone with a look. She also had the same taste in movies as you, always watching them together and discussing the classics as well as the latest releases.

“Seriously Nora, there’s no need to strangle anyone.”

“Sorry, I love you like my sister so I’m going to worry about you.”

It was hard being so far away from your best friend and honorary sister. But you got a great job opportunity, and it was a way to get far away from a certain ex-somebody.

“If you’ve read any of the latest articles, you’ll know Dieter put that bad reputation behind him.”

“Yeah, Mei showed them to me. We kinda stalked him a bit. He hasn’t done anything bad to you behind doors has he?”

You shook your head.

“He’s not into weird kinky stuff in bed, is he?”

“Actually, we haven’t slept together yet. The most we’ve done is sleep in the same bed.”

“That’s all?”

“He’s happy to wait until I’m ready which…which is nice,” you smiled almost in relief, “And we kiss obviously. He still asks my permission.”

“Aw, that’s so sweet!” a cheerful face came on screen: Nora’s partner, Mei, “Hi sweetie!”

“Hi Mei.”

“Don’t worry, I made sure she didn’t do the crazy long flight. I hid her passport.”

“Seriously?” both you and Nora asked.

“I love you, but you get a bit hot headed sometimes,” she turned to you “So, dating a movie star? And such a handsome one too!”

“Is he?” asked Nora, “I don’t see the appeal.”

“You didn’t see him in The Hunger. I’d turn for that man.”

“You’re telling me this now?”

“I hear the oven dinging. See you sweetie!”

You waved at Mei as she made her escape from the screen.

“But seriously, tell me, is he treating you well?”

“Yes.”

“Any panic attacks?”

“Nope, I feel really safe with him.”

“I have noticed you’ve been really happy lately, something I haven’t seen in a while.”

“It’s nice,” she could see the genuine smile on your face, the sparkle in your eyes.

“I still want to talk to him though. Look him square in the eyes before I can give him my blessing.”

“Okay. Just don’t mention Cliff Beasts 6.”

“The first film was shit anyways.”

*****

You opened the door and Dieter greeted you with his signature hug.

“Can I?” and you nodded, giving him a kiss in response.

“Dieter? Dieter?” he hummed in response, still occupied with kissing you, “Remember how I said my friend Nora wanted to talk to you? Well..” you turned your head and gestured towards the coffee table.

“Holy fuck!” exclaimed Dieter as he was faced with the disapproving glare of your friends face staring at him from your laptop. He nervously sat down while you moved your laptop to its normal position in front of the couch.

“So, Dieter Bravo. Before I can give you my blessing to continue dating my honorary sister, I have a few questions for you.”

He gulped, obviously terrified, but nodded firmly.

“So, what’s your favourite scary movie?”

“Is this a horror film thing or an actual question?”

“Could be both.”

“Are you going to get a scary ghost mask thing out?”

You butt your head in, “No, you are not getting out the Ghost Face, or the Michael Myers. You promised no jump scares.”

“Fine, but you need to be out of the room. I can’t have you help him cheat.”

You sighed, “I’ll go pick up some dinner,” you gave Dieter a quick kiss on the cheek and left the apartment.

“She’s gone?” Dieter nodded, “That was just a ruse to get her out of the house, so we could talk man to man. To start with, I want to know your favourite film.”

“Does it have to be scary?”

“No, she told me you’re a big scaredy cat.”

“Oh, well, it’s Beauty and the Beast.”

“Aw, that’s so sweet, it’s my favourite too!” Mei once again popped her head in, “Oh, hi Mr. Bravo!” she waved and Dieter awkwardly waved back, “Can I just say I loved you in The Hunger? I’ve seen all your films and…”

“Do you mind?” asked Nora.

“Oh, sorry,” she gave another wave and popped off screen.

He was now asked a series of questions about you.

“Favourite colour?’

“Yellow. Along with other bright colours.”

“Favourite food?”

“Anything with cheese. She once made this three-cheese macaroni and cheese; it was so fucking good.”

“Favourite ice cream flavour?”

“Phish food or Strawberry cheesecake, depending on her mood.”

“Food she craves when she’s on her period?”

“Garlic. Which means she’s not a vampire.”

“You’re fine with periods?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“So, you’d go to the store to buy her pads?”

“Well, she started using these period pant things but if she wanted me to put them in the wash, I would.”

“Favourite film?”

“The Mummy. I swear she’s memorised the whole film. I think she’s going to get me to dress up as Brendan Fraser’s character.”

“Favourite movie monster?’

“Werewolf.”

“Favourite sub-genre of horror?”

“Comedies, especially ones that poke fun at tropes. Also, she loves well-made ones. You know it’s good when she talks about it for days.”

“Favourite guilty pleasure film?”

“That one with all the monsters, Hugh Jackman and a monk.”

“Actually he’s a friar. First film you two watched together?”

“Oh, it begins with an H. There was a doll house and a bunch of naked people.”

“Hereditary?”

“Yeah, that’s the one.”

Nora seemed shocked at this, “You watched that and still wanted to see her?”

“The bits that weren’t scary were really good. The rest of it scared the shit out of me. But then she asked me if I noticed certain things and she went over them with such enthusiasm it was adorable.” He was smiling at the memory of it which Nora noticed, and the mood turned almost sombre.

“Yeah, she gets like that. Did she tell you about her ex?”

“Not much, but I gathered he was an absolute dick.”

Nora sighed, “He was worse than that. He’s a self-centred narcissistic asshole.”

“She told me he didn’t like her watching horror films.”

“Not only that, but he also didn’t like her talking about them. He just found ways to control her, making her feel wrong about who she is.”

“There’s nothing wrong with her, she’s perfect.”

“She didn’t start having panic attacks until he came along.”

Dieter was now in shock, “What?”

“Yeah, don’t tell her, but I was the one who got her the job in LA. She needed to get as far away from that man as possible.”

“I’m glad you did. Not because it brought her here, but it means she’s safe.”

“So you love her?”

“Oh, so fucking much. She deserves to be with someone amazing, but she chose me for some reason, I think I’m just a fuck up.”

“Not from all the stuff she told me about you. She never told me anything bad about you.”

Before Dieter could question further, a knock from the front door was heard. You peak your head in, “Is it safe to come back in?”

Nora nodded and Dieter gestured for you to come back in. Shuffling over to see your friends face, you asked, “So how was it? You didn’t go all Jigsaw on him?”

“No,” she gave a reluctant sigh, “And he has my approval.”

“Really?” both you and Dieter exclaimed almost at the same time. Nora gave a firm nod which prompted you to hug your boyfriend.

“Seriously, you made him watch Hereditary as a first film?”

You shuffled over to face the screen while Dieter grabbed the food you left on the coffee table.

“Okay, I admit that probably wasn’t the best choice, but Ari Aster is so good with all the little details!”

Dieter now popped his head into the screen, “See what I’m talking about?”

Lovingly tagging @boliv-jenta @simpingcowboy @ellenmunn @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi @brilliantopposite187

Films referenced: Scream (1996), Halloween (1978), Beauty and the Beast (1991), The Mummy (1999), Van Helsing (2004), Hereditary (2018), Saw (2004)

[littlelambreads]

A3! Fan Fiction — “I’m Youth, I’m Joy!” // Episode 5

Izumi: All right, great warm ups, everyone.

Sakuya: Hanako-chan, thanks for teaching us some new ways to warm up!

Tsuzuru: Yeah, we’ve been to America before and acted, but we haven’t had the chance to work with many people from other countries. There are different practices that can be learned.

Izumi: Hanako-chan, since you will be our featured guest with the Spring Troupe, we’ll start by having you practice etudes with these members so everyone can get a feel with each other.

Hanako: Understood.

Izumi: Let’s have…

Citron: Me! Me! Pick me!

Izumi: Sure, Citron, you can go first.

Citron: Lately, I’ve been watching American platoons!

Hanako: Army troupes? Interesting…

Itaru: You mean cartoons, right?

Citron: Cartoons! Yes! Right now, I’m watching Tom and Jerry!

Hanako: Oh! Tom and Jerry! That’s a good one!

Citron: Let us do an etude with that!

Hanako: I’ve never done that before, but yeah, let’s do it!

Izumi: Ready, set, start!

Citron: Oh no! It’s Tom! He’s after me!

Itaru: So he’s Jerry? LOL. That’s Citron for you. Sorry, Hanako-chan, looks like you’re Tom.

Hanako: …

Izumi: The atmosphere turned sinister! Was that Hanako’s doing?

Hanako: Heh, heh, heh…

Izumi: Unlike her audition where you could feel her emotions through her acting and singing, she is only acting now. Her acting is very dramatic here. I can see the humorous and sinister display that is like Tom and Jerry! She really is good!

Chikage: Did she choose to be silent because Tom and Jerry is a silent cartoon? Animations can be silent and still communicate everything because of exaggeration in drawings. She’s doing the same with her acting. What a dangerous girl.

Izumi: And stop!

Hanako: Haa, haa…

Citron: Whew! That was frosting!

Masumi: It’s exhausting.

Sakuya: I like how you circled your arm before you launched the bat! It reminded me of the exaggerated movements of animations!

Tsuzuru: You chose not to speak at all like the show, but I could clearly see Tom’s, er, your emotions.

Chikage: Not bad.

Itaru: Good job.

Izumi: Great start! Let’s have you and Itaru go next?

Itaru: Me next? Let’s get it.

Hanako: Ready.

---

Masumi: Director praised me.

Itaru: Congrats.

Sakuya: Hanako-san, you were really good! How long have you been acting?

Chikage: I would also like to know. I am quite intrigued.

Hanako: How long? I’ve been acting for as long as I can remember.

Chikage: I’ve heard your parents are involved in the theater realm.

Sakuya: Really? I didn’t know!

Citron: A theater princess!

Itaru: It’s kind of like Tenma who did film acting since he was young.

Masumi: Regardless of circumstance, you stayed with acting.

Citron: Wow! Masumi joined the conversation.

Masumi: Haa…

Tsuzuru: I see. Even though she is the product of theater, it was her choice to stay in theater.

Sakuya: You must really love it! You even came to Japan to grow and learn more!

Hanako: …I, I guess so.

Banri: Ah, so it was Spring Troupe. I was wonderin’ who was making so much noise.

Sakuya: We just came back from practice!

Banri: Eh, you’re done? Good work.

Juza: Sounded like you guys were working hard.

Kumon: Yeah!

Itaru: Banri, what a strange group you’re with. LOL. 

Muku: We kinda ran into each other!

Banri: Hah? You guys dragged me with you all on your own!

Juza: You can stay.

Banri: Huh, really? I changed my mind. I’m going.

Chikage: Were you going somewhere?

Kumon: Muku and I won a whole bunch of tickets in a drawing today for a themed amusement park!

Muku: The theme is Peter Pan and Wendy!

Hanako: …

Hanako: “Boy, why are you crying?”

Muku: !

Hanako: I enjoyed the most of the movies and plays about Peter Pan and Wendy that I’ve seen.

Muku: …Would you like to come!?

Kumon: Woah, Muku!

Juza: Muku, it isn’t good to shout indoors.

Banri: Pfft. Pot meet kettle.

Hanako: Really? Is that alright?

Kumon: Yeah, we have more tickets! Would anyone else like to come from Spring Troupe?

Masumi: Pass.

Citron: Oh no, I can’t. I have a meeting with Mrs. Tanaka and the ladies’ association today.

Banri: What is your life? Honestly.

Itaru: Yeah, this old man’s got stuff to do, so I’ll be heading back.

Sakuya: Can I come? I’ve been reading that story to the kids at the daycare so I’m a little curious!

Tsuzuru: Me too. I think it will be good for some inspiration.

Kumon: All right! Let’s do this!

Banri: You, too, Chikage-san.

Chikage: Me? 

Banri: You didn’t say no, right?

Chikage: I’ve got no choice. All right.

next

[lavenderbexlatte]

day 23 - striptease

stray kids 1.3k words gender neutral reader insert Reader x Lee Felix NSFW

🖤 warnings: workplace shenanigans, suggestive behavior, established casual hookup culture, this is all because of That tiktok i’m sure you know the one 🖤

kinktober masterlist

connect with me! / masterlist

At first you don't see the phone.

Not that this would be too far out of the ordinary if it wasn't being filmed, but it makes a hell of a lot more sense when you realize that Felix is recording a TikTok.

He's the most stereotypical DeviantArt definition of the word "twink" - petite, slight, beautiful in the face and everywhere else - and when you walk into the green room to find him throwing it back to some remixed 70s groove, you thank your lucky stars to be on the same continent as him, let alone in the same fucking room.

When he finishes his little circle, gives his phone a little wave, and ends the recording, he turns around and promptly jumps three feet like a startled cat.

"Oh, shit!" he yelps.

"Sorry," you say, soulless and unapologetic.

"Were you watching me do that?"

"Only the last bit."

He groans, cheeks reddening. "Goddamnit."

"I thought it was cute!" you insist.

"It was just for the internet," he mutters.

"No, yeah, that makes sense. I'm just surprised you're into thirst traps."

You didn't think it was possible, but he looks even more mortified. "Don't call it that!"

"That's what it is, though!"

Felix snatches up the phone. "I'll just delete it."

You wilt. "No, hey, no. Don't do that."

"But now I feel dumb!"

That's absolutely the last thing you want. "You wanted to make it, right? Post it?"

"Yeah."

"Then don't let my stupid ass make you feel like it's bad," you say.

"It's easier to do when no one's watching," he says.

"Well, then I won't watch."

You turn around and cover your eyes with your hands. You can hear Felix scoff behind you, but you're committed.

"You don't have to-"

"Not looking, post it, do it," you say.

There's a beat of silence, and then Felix sighs.

"Done."

You uncover your face. "Nice."

He might not have posted it, but it's the principle of the thing.

"What'd you need, anyway?" he asks, tucking the phone into his pocket.

"Oh." You'd forgotten. You came in here for a reason. "You're done for the day."

"Fuckin' finally."

Apparently it's your job, today, to run around and deliver wrap calls to the rest of the production staff. Not that anyone's been very busy. Changbin was asleep for the entire second half of his shift, Minho had already taken a 'long lunch' and headed home during the final shoot, and Felix, well. Felix apparently uses his spare time to put that tight little body to good use online.

"Wanna head out?"

Felix plucks at the black shirt he's wearing. "I have to give this back. Borrowed it from Chan."

You grin. "Why?"

"I stained mine working on that one set. Green paint and white clothes are not friends."

"Just take it off and leave it with his stuff."

"Take it off here?" Felix asks, looking scandalized.

"Yeah, whatever."

"Then get out!"

"It's not like I haven't seen it all before," you shrug.

In that same way that high school band kids and drama kids tend to just date (or fuck, depending on how cool they are) around their social circle, the people who work at this for-rent sound stage are notorious for hooking up. You'd thought it was weird, when you were hired, but then management kept hiring increasingly hot people (Seungmin, and then Mina, and then Felix...) and suddenly you understood.

Dating is hard. Hot coworkers with good boundaries are so much easier.

"I guess," Felix cedes.

You smirk. "I could see it again."

Felix scoffs again, but the nonchalance in his voice is all an act when he asks, "Where's everyone else?"

"Only Jeongin was left, I was supposed to lock up."

"They're all gone?"

You shrug. "You were the last one. No one could find you."

It's not what you're expecting, but it is what you're hoping for, when Felix slams the door to this closet-sized green room and locks it up.

"I told you, they're gone."

"Can't be too careful," he says.

"Still, it's not like - mm!"

It doesn't matter what you have to say, because Felix is wrapped around you before you can get another word out, his gorgeous pouty lips against yours like he's been waiting all day for this. Maybe he has been. It's not the first time he's been waiting around to seduce you after a shift.

You wonder if it was really an accident that you found him mid-dance.

His freckled face is stunning, this close to yours, his black hair falling in his eyes. "What was that you asked for?"

Oh, he's playing with you.

"A closer look under this boring shirt," you say, hooking your finger in the neckline of the borrowed tee and tugging.

Felix gives you an evil, evil grin. "Can I give you a repeat performance?"

You can't believe he has to ask. "Deadass?"

"If you want."

There's only one shitty folding chair in this room, but it's in front of a really lovely wooden vanity, so that's where you sit instead, propping yourself up on the solid wood counter.

"Go ahead."

Felix scrambles for his phone again. "It's weird with no music, hold on."

It takes a second, but before long, that same song is pouring out of his phone, tinny and not too loud but enough so that you're not sitting in silence. This whole thing would be cheesy, except that Felix is into it. Nothing beats genuine mischievous intent, absolutely nothing.

He treats you to that same kind of slow, gyrating turn he'd done earlier, his lithe waist and high-waisted jeans making his ass stand out in a way that's kind of illegal. Halfway around, while his back is to you, Felix yanks the hem of that oversized shirt out of its French tuck and begins to lift it over his head.

By the time he's facing you again, the shirt is gone, baring the lean lines of Felix's chest, his ribs, his abs.

"Baby, holy shit," you groan.

He should consider a career in this, you think, as he winks at you and throws the t-shirt to the side. "You're a good audience. Got any ones?"

If you had any singles in your wallet, they'd be flying, but you don't, and you barely have the presence of mind to keep from drooling like an actual cartoon dog.

Felix hooks his thumbs into the tight waist of his pants, still grooving on the spot to his little backing track. His grin is evil as he unbuttons-unzips-shimmies the waistband down, revealing a glimpse of tight black boxer-briefs underneath.

They're looser, slower circles of his hips, this time, as he peels his jeans down. He gets them to his knees that way, and stops with his back facing you again. You're sure your mouth is hanging open, watching him bend neatly at the waist and pull the garment off his calves and all the way down.

Somehow, it's not even awkward when he leaves his sneakers and socks behind and steps out of the whole mess, dainty, in just his underwear. Stark black against his pale skin, the same color as his striking dark hair.

He tosses his cute little ass in one more circle, before he comes over to lean heavily into your lap and kiss you again.

Felix pulls you to your feet, and you let him. He turns you around, mid-kiss, as you suck his bottom lip into your mouth carelessly and scrabble over his freckled shoulders.

He marches you backward a few steps, so that you're standing about where he was, in the middle of the small room. He then takes a seat on top of the vanity, restarting the track back to the beginning, letting Earth, Wind & Fire set the scene all over again.

"Your turn."

[ecargmura]

The Super Mario Bros. Movie Review: Very Fun!

(Warning, this review contains spoilers for the movie)

My introverted ass does not leave the house most of the time. However, there are times where I do like to hang out with my friends. Today was one such day. On the midst of cold rainy weather, I mustered up the courage to leave my house and go to the movie theater to see The Super Mario Bros movie. I was watching it with my friend SpaceBrosMiles. As I was waiting for him, I coincidentally saw my friend from high school and college whom I haven’t seen in 6-7 years! I was surprised I still recognized him. He was also watching the film with his friends, one of them being my brother’s friend. It was nice talking to him. Anyways, once Miles and I finally met up and went inside the theater, the movie started playing after multitudes of trailers and a quick bathroom break from me.

How was the movie? I really liked it! It went by fast, but it left a lasting impression on me. The movie is an original story of how the Mario brothers became known to the Mushroom Kingdom. It all started with them in Brooklyn trying to make it big as plumbers, but they struggle to find jobs. They put out a rather tacky commercial and they did manage to get one job after it aired, which turned into a bust when the owners’ dog Francis tried to attack the brothers because Luigi broke its bone. However, the fight between them and the dog eventually lead to an unknown flooding in Brooklyn. While the brothers try to be heroes, they fail to stop the flood and accidentally find the iconic green warp pipe that causes the brothers to be transported to another world but they get separated with Luigi going to Bowser’s Castle and Mario to the Mushroom Kingdom. The rest of the movie is just Mario trying to find a way to rescue his brother with the help of Toad and Peach.

The overall movie was enjoyable. I really liked the various Mario game references. I think a few I can name are Mario Maker, Mario Kart, Luigi’s Mansion, Mario 64, Mario Galaxy and Jumpman. I named a lot. Wow. Does this mean I’m a hardcore gamer? Anyways, there isn’t much I can say about the overall movie because it’s super fun. The humor is on point. The dialogue is very family-friendly. Various OSTs were remixes of classic Mario songs that I recognize. However, the best song was the remix of the DK Rap. THE DK RAP IS IN THE MOVIE! DK! DONKEY KONG! I’m sorry, the DK rap was so fun to listen to when I was a kid. I’m glad they kept the iconic song (though, they did not credit the creator Grant Kirkhope).

The flow of the movie was fast-paced but it was consistent. I think it flew by so quickly for a one hour and forty-five minute movie. One moment they are in the Mushroom Kingdom, and they are in the Jungle Kingdom five minutes later. It’s really hard to look away because you will be confused if you do so.

The voice acting was really good! I think they all suited the characters! The best performance was Jack Black as Bowser. I mean, it’s Jack Black! What more can I say? I was confused when he started playing the piano, but Jack Black’s song was amazing to listen to. An honorable mention goes to Lumalee. He was very creepy with his nihilistic speeches about death and that made him stand out; he’s an absolute menance.I think the weakest performance was a tie between Cranky Kong and Mario, but it doesn’t mean they were bad. They were far from bad, in fact. It’s just that everyone else were too good that they got overshadowed.

My only gripe is the lack of Luigi screen time during the middle of the movie. The movie is called The Super Mario Bros. It’s not the Super Mario movie. It’s the Mario brothers that are the stars, not Mario on his lonesome. It would’ve been great to see Luigi trying to struggle out of his cage or have some screen time worrying about his current situation. All we see of Luigi is that he gets captured, thrown into a cage and then gets released about three-fourths way into the movie, just before the climax.  The final portion where the Mario bros take on Bowser was great and made me wonder where Luigi managed to get that courage to protect Mario from the fire.

Overall, this is a very good movie if you just want to have fun watching. It’s a perfect blend of tropes and aspects any Mario fan or any gamer would know and love. I know that not everyone will agree with me, but I believe this is like a love letter to the fans that have bee there for so long. I believe it’s an 8.5/10 movie. The .5 was the fact I saw a friend in the theaters. Will I recommend this movie? Definitely.

[flightlessribbons]

Everyone's honorary little brother, Nate (I just realized they're out of order, it's read with the 1st one, the 3rd, and then the 2nd 😭😭)

dialogue transcript under the cut (and in order, unlike the panels, my bad)

Touya: Woah Nate! You found this yesterday? 

Nate: Yep! That and a few pieces of gold and silver. Thank you so much for recommending Undella Bay- the Abyssal Ruins were seriously insane! Jet and I had so much fun!

Touya: Well, only experienced divers can really explore the ruins, so that’s a major accomplishment!

Nate: Ah, it’s nothing, man. I’m sure a lot of people can do it- they just haven’t tried. 

Touya: That is incredibly false- I nearly died down there. That reminds me- have you given any thought on the offer?

Nate: O-oh…The Research group one?

Touya: That’s the one.

Nate: It’s a really good offer…but I don’t know if I could accept. Heroes and Researchers…I don’t think I qualify for either of those. Heroes protect people- and if a legendary happens to like the way they do it- bonus points. And researchers bring new discoveries and theories to the group. They get things done…I can’t do what you guys do- in either regard. I can’t explain the mysteries of the world- and I’m no hero. R…Reshiram would’ve woken up if I was. 

Touya: Nate-

Nate: She’s just here as a ROCK in my bag. She shouldn’t even be with me- I don’t know why N trusted me with this-

Touya: Nate.

Nate: S-so I’m so sorry I can’t take your offer-

Touya: NATE.

Nate: Ah…

Touya: You don’t have to join- I wouldn't hold it against you- but if the reason you don't want to join is because you think you’re not good enough- I can’t let that slide. You’re one of the most talented trainers I’ve ever seen! You can deny it all you like, but you’ve done so much for everyone. And you think you don’t contribute to our theories and solving the unknown? Look at this. We need these- artifacts and clues to help us piece it all together. We can’t get these without you. You’re on the field getting these to us in one piece. Your skillset is flexible and broad.And about Reshiram. N entrusted her with you for a reason. Just because she’s still in that rock form doesn’t mean that you’re any lesser of a hero than any of us. It’s just not the time for Reshiram to awaken- but you can’t wait for her to be ready to start validating yourself. You’ve always been enough- Even when you first started your journey, that little kid was already more than enough. You don’t need a legendary to be a hero, Nate. 

Touya: Whew…Sorry for dumping all that on you right now. You’re just my little brother in my eyes, so I just wanna watch out for you and stuff. Anyways, it’s a slow day today- so you can take the day off and just get m e the gold and silver pieces tomorrow-

Nate: I’ll do it.

Touya: …huh? Is it because of what I said? Don’t force yourself just because of me- I totally understand (don’t lie to me, bro)-

Nate: Touya, relax. You’re not forcing me to join. But…you’re right. I can’t wait for Reshiram to awaken to realize I’m useful and good. And besides, I love diving and helping you guys out at the museum. Joining your group sounds like I’ll be doing what I’ve been doing, so that’s cool. (I’m not lying)

Touya: YES! This warrants a celebration!! LENORA- WE’RE GONNA GET CASTELIA CONES- DO YOU AND HAWES WANT ANYTHING?

Lenora: WE’RE GOOD, T- YOU TWO GO HAVE FUN!!

Touya: OKAY!!

Touya: Wanna race to Castelia? 

Nate: No way. I just beat you in last week’s race to Opelucid!

Touya: Bah- old news! Castelia though- isn’t Rosa doing some filming there?

Nate: What- you wanna try recruiting her too?

Touya: Nah- she’s already in.

Nate: SERIOUSLY?!

Touya: Yup- as soon as I mentioned it to her, she yelled at me to “save her a spot!”. So I did.

Nate: Sounds like her…

[fuforthought]

Help me Fu For Thought, you're my only hope ...

Years ago you were kind enough to identify "Two Champions of Shaolin" for me when I couldn't remember where I had seen the guy get his junk pulled off while doing a flying side kick. There's another scene I remembered recently - or maybe hallucinated.

Hero Gordon Liu is talking to Bad Guy Lo Lieh. (Or I may only remember it as him because it was definitely Ted Thomas doing the dub.) Anyway. Bad Guy says "In martial arts ... there are always purges. Nothing to be done about it." Hero replies, "In that case ... I think I'll carry out a purge of my own!" Fight kicks off.

Is that a real scene, or did I imagine the whole thing?

Thanks very much for your help.

This one has me stumped and I think I know why. Since this is a dub track, my memories will be hazy. I’m not trying to come off as pretentious but I watch my kung fu films with subtitles most of the time. So it may be that I haven’t heard this sound bite in a while.

The whole “purge” thing sounds like something Pai Mei would say, so I would have guessed that it was Clan of the White Lotus.

If it’s not that one, here are a few more films Lo Lieh features alongside Gordon Liu…

Fists and Guts

The 36th Chamber of Shaolin

Executioners of Shaolin

Dirty Ho

Sorry I couldn’t help with this one! Good luck!

[itsjustnobody0]

Chapter 5.

Hi guys!! Nobody here! Hope your all good and welcome to part 5 of my fan fiction. It’s about to get interesting!!! If I haven’t hit you guys with enough drama yet this is going to knock you off your feet completely! If you haven’t seen the drama in the last chapters here is the links to go catch up on it:

Chapter 1- https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/itsjustnobody0/693832797859856384?source=share

Chapter 2- https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/itsjustnobody0/693832797859856384?source=share

Chapter 3- https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/itsjustnobody0/693835729264082944?source=share

Chapter 4- https://at.tumblr.com/itsjustnobody0/chapter-4-hi-guys-and-welcome-back-i-hope-your/lbq8794dbbp8

So hopefully your all caught up! I haven’t posted in a while and I’m not feeling the best mentally but I had most of this chapter done anyway. I only write a few lines today the rest has been written for forever so I kinda forgot what direction it’s going in. Enjoy guysss!!

TW for chapter 5-

Alcohol 

Dilated Pupils

Blood

Passing out

Beatings

Basements

Sharp knife

Kicking

Stabbing 

All of these are briefly mentioned some not even the word, I just put them on in case. They probably won’t even trigger people who get triggered by them but just in case. Enjoy!!

 Ranboo set his laptop down and logged in. I grabbed the memory stick out of my pocket, I had grabbed it after I saw Jack. I took a deep breath and plugged it in. All the videos and pictures loaded onto the screen. We clicked on the first one and saw me in a park. I was on the red and black swing, laughing while my dad pushed me. It was kinda cute, it was definitely not how I remembered my dad. We clicked the arrow and saw me with a rucksack with books in holding someone’s hand. You couldn’t see who it was. Then we clicked the arrow and found a video. We turned the sound to midway and pressed play. 

The camera pointed at my dad, he wore a stained, white, tank top and his hair was messy, pupils dilated. He held a belt in his hand and he looked angry. I could here my mother laughing behind the camera, it was shacking slightly as she did. The camera then turned to what looked like a 7 year old me on the floor crying.

“GET UP YOU LITTLE BITCH.” My father shouted. I cried some more as I pulled myself up off the ground. I was shaky and unstable and I was bleeding all along my back. My dad whipped me again and again around my back making it bleed and go red. I wasn’t wearing a shirt just underwear. 

I stared in shock at the computer screen, I had forgotten about them filming that. They normally only filmed the bad beatings but that was one of the first ones so I guess they wanted it for future reference. I didn’t dare look either side of me at the two boys sitting next to me. I pulled my hand towards the computer and clicked the arrow again, it was another video. I clicked play.

It was in the same room again, a basement type thing. That was where I was locked most of my life. I was a bit older this time, around ten, a year before I ended up on the streets. My father was holding a sharp knife in his right hand.

“Now, now, you little bitch. What should I draw today?” He rhetorically asked me. Of course, the condition I was in I wasn’t fit to answer anyway. My mother was once again, cackling behind the camera like the witch she was.

“I don’t feel very arty today so maybe some basic patterns. Some long lasting scars.” He pondered what he was going to do. He brought the knife to my bruised, agitated skin. He stabbed it quiet far into my back, then he dragged it in a wonky line down it. My screams pierced the air, they were super loud. My dad joined in with my mothers laughing. I soon passed out from blood loss and pain. The video ended with my father kicking my in the head, hard. 

I felt both of the boys staring at me. I looked at each of them a bit nervous about what they were thinking at me. They looked sorry for me but also shocked. They probably weren’t expecting to see what they just saw but then again neither did I.

“You know what, how about that movie?” I asked them. They both quickly nodded. I took my memory stick out and placed it back into my pocket. We got on Netflix and we put on the basketball diaries and relaxed watching the movie.

 (yes I know that isn’t on Netflix anymore but it’s my favourite movie so deal with it)

Eventually the movie finished and my eyes were getting heavy. I looked at the other two boys and they looked wide awake. 

“What time is it?” I asked

“Almost ten o’clock.” Tubbo told me

“Oh it’s not even that late.” I mumbled

“Are you tired?” Ranboo asked me

“No not at all.” I said in the strongest voice I could master. I heard them chuckle at me.

“Heyyy. Don’t laugh at me.” I said grumpily

“Go to sleep.” Tubbo laughed.

“Well if you insist.” I nodded.

Soon after I fell asleep leaning against someone. 

That night I had nightmares. Bad ones. They were all of the place. And of my parents. Memories of them beating me. Scarfing me for life, both mentally and physically. They were horrible and vivid nightmares as if I was really back there. 

I was sitting in a ball on the floor, screaming loudly. I was crying, my salty tears streaming down my bruised face. I knew what was coming next, my father hovered over me holding the sharp knife, the one he used to torture me. He yanked me up by the neck, holding my off the ground slightly. I kicked and thrashed my feat in hope that he would drop me. He threw me against the wall hard, I landed on the floor with a loud thud. I couldn’t move very well, all I could do was scream and cry. 

“STAND UP!” He screamed at me. I knew better then to ever disobey him so I did what he asked. I used the wall to pull myself up and face him. He looked at my with disgust. I looked down at his feet, afraid to look at him.

“LOK AT ME! NOW!” He shouted. I quickly moved my head to look at his face, it was contorted in anger. I wasn’t sure what I had actually done but my father liked to punish me for a lot of things. 

He walked towards me and I tried not to whimper away. He raised his fist and punished me hard in the head. My lip busted open and I could feel the blood dribbling down my chin and neck. I looked at him again because if I didn’t it would get worse. He raised the life at me and pushed me against the wall. He held me there and put the knife up to my head. He dragged it down, making a jagged scar over my eye. It hurt so much and I tried to get away, not caring what he would do to me. Me trying to do that was a mistake, when he got to my eye he pushed the knife in. I could feel the cool blade inside my eyeball. It was so horrible and it hurt so much. At first all I could see was red out of my one eye, and then black. I was screaming and crying so much that I didn’t notice that until he dropped me. I closed my eyes and hoped this wasn’t real, I hope that not of this had happened, but it had. I opened my eyes and looked around, I couldn’t see anything, this made me cry even more, my own father had made me go blind. That was the day I knew I had to escape, that was the day I realised that anywhere was better then there.

I woke up in the middle of the night sweating and tears streaming down my face. I quickly wiped them away, I hated crying so much. I sat up and turned the lights on. I saw that I was in my own room somebody must have taken me back there. I didn’t dare go back to sleep that night.

I went to the window I had climbed out two days ago and looked out of it. I opened it and looked up. The drain I had recently climbed down was also available to climb up. I swung myself onto the windowsill and grabbed the drain. I pulled my weight over to the drain and climbed up, it was surprisingly easy to climb up. I got onto the roof, it was a red slate kinda roof, not very slippy, but also not easy to keep your balance. I slowly stood up and walked further up the roof. It was sloped a bit but not enough to make it impossible to walk on. I’m sat down and watched the sun rise, it was very beautiful. I sighed thinking about everything that had happened in the last week, it was hard to process. I missed the streets and I wanted to get back to them but I didn’t want to leave here that bad. I had made two friends, even though they probably thought I was annoying. The food here was nice enough, and I had a place to sleep. The rules were a bit shit but I could bend them enough. It wasn’t if they would kick me out, it would put me back to the start  and after all the effort they had put themselves through to get me here it wasn’t worth just kicking me out again. 

Soon after I heard noise from inside the house, meaning people were finally up. I climbed down from the roof and back into my room. It was starting to get messy, I made a mental note that I had to tidy it later. I put my coat and beanie on over the joggers and T-shirt I was wearing.  I walked downstairs and saw Niki cooking something.

“What you making?” I asked loudly

“Pancakes.” She smiled at me. I gave her a half smile back.

“Can I have one please?” I asked politely

“Of course you can Y/n!” She answered

“Thank you.” I smiled properly this time.

I decided to watch her mix everything, it looked very confusing but also fun. She was humming something as she worked, the thing she was humming sounded familiar, like I’d heard it somewhere. Before I knew it I was singing along. I didn’t know the name of the song but I’d heard it when I was younger, it was comforting to hear something familiar. We laughed and sing together and just had a good time, I was enjoying myself and before I knew it my pancake was done. 

I could only have one as I hadn’t been eating much for the last few years and I didn’t want to be sick but I enjoyed it so much. Niki’s baking was so good and she was a talented baker.

“Can you teach me how to do that?” I asked gesturing at the ingredients. 

“Sure! Come here I’ll show you!”

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Consent Discussions Masterlist

Cast a Spell on You (ao3) - yellowlampshade

Summary: Hogwarts graduates Dan and Phil have been dating for three years, and that's fine with Dan except for one thing: they've never done anything sexual together. Dan thinks that maybe wearing Phil's jumper with some lace panties could change that.

(Hint: he's right.)

Distractions (ao3) - your_starless_eyes

Summary: Dan's a bit anxious about his newest video, and that just won't do.

First Time, ...kind of. (ao3) - fin_flora

Summary: Dan had never felt so overwhelmed with emotions in his life as he did that night.

Or Dan's first time bottoming with Phil.

Getting Comfortable (ao3) - AmazingDandroid (Stardust_Ti)

Summary: Hey hey, this is a story all about consent. It's short and sweet.

Including a bit of 2009 Phan for your soul.

i'm not a saint but do I have to be? (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Phil's very serious about his role as a prefect and Dan just wants his attention (and some fun).

I'm Not Really In The Mood (and that's okay) - philipsenpai-fics

Summary: 5 Phan scenarios where one of them wants to have sex, but the other doesn’t. To show that it is completely okay to refuse.

just so good at fucking up (ao3) - whatdoiknowx

Summary: Dan is excited to wake Phil up with a morning blowjob. Things do not go as planned.

(set in September 2010. deals with consent issues)

kissing on the kitchen floor, our friendship up against the ropes (ao3) - glasseslouis

Summary: it's 2009, dan still can't fully comprehend that he's sat in phil's bedroom filming pinof, and they decide to indulge themselves.

Letting Someone in Can Change Your Life (ao3) - winstonlives

Summary: “Fine. I will let you in. But I am not buzzing you in I'm coming down. And bringing my phone and a weapon.”

“Okay. Thanks.”

Dan shoved his phone in the pocket of his hoodie and grabbed the tennis racquet he had by his front door for protection. Once downstairs he looked out to see one of the most beautiful men he had ever seen. He very much regretted not putting on actual clothes. He ran his fingers through his hair trying to smooth out the unruly curls he knew were there from his shower. He pushed open the door and the man smiled, his bright blue eyes flashing.

“Thank you so much! I thought I was going to be locked out all night!” He said, shaking the rain off of himself as best he could while clutching a soggy pink bakery box. “I’m frozen. Sorry, uh my name is Phil. I live in 301.”

“Dan, 503.” Dan said as he followed Phil up the stairs. “So when did you move in? I haven’t seen you before.”

Movie Kiss (ao3) - phanburnhamizzard

Summary: Dan and Phil watch a trailer for a rom/com movie that involves a scene with questionable consent. Kisses ensue.

Push Rewind (ao3) - analester

Summary: 2009!phan where they have skype sex and their first time together, and phil is just a caring guy that wants dan to have fun and feel safe

Safe (ao3) - auroraphilealis (peachrayne)

Summary: Phil is Dan’s Dom, and while they both know a scene doesn’t always go to plan, it still hurts them both when Dan has to use their safe word. After care fic.

(TW) The Five Times Phil Lester Cried After Sex and the One Time It Didn’t Matter - auroraphilealis

Summary: Sex has always meant more to Phil than just sex, but it takes him a long time to learn that crying afterwards isn’t a bad thing.

The Importance Of Consent (ao3) - BoyishBeans

Summary: Prompt: 2009 first time smut

The Slave Boy (ao3) - Phandiction

Summary: On his eighteenth birthday Phil receives a quiet and timid slave boy as a gift from his father. Phil intends to make Dan his friend more than a slave but social status and pressure from his father forces the two to keep an emotional distance when it comes to being in public. Behind closed doors though the Master and his slave become close. Phil is expected to take over his father's business and marry a prestigious young girl but this isn't what the young Master wants. What he wants is something he can't have in his world, his slave boy.

when we try new things (ao3) - CapriciousCrab

Summary: Phil's motto lets them down when it comes to their sex life.

Or

The 3 times they try spicing up their sex life + the 1 time they don't.