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soaringwide · 6 months

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PAC: What should I focus on to achieve success in my chosen field? - Career tarot reading

Pile: 1 > 2 > 3

Today's reading is a career reading about "What should I focus on to achieve success in my chosen field?"

The reading is going to be kept open regardless of your chosen professional field to be applicable to various situations. I will focus on two aspects: 1) an analysis of your current situation so that you can asses and work on yourself; but also 2) the steps you can take in the world to better the situation.

It is important to have a chosen field in mind when picking the pile/picture as it is not meant to tell you what you should do, but rather help you move forward on your desired path, whether you're currently working in this field, or thinking of doing so in the future.

PILE 1

Cards: Wheel of Fortune rx; Justice; Death rx; 9 of Wands + Queen of Wands; Page of Pentacles rx + The Moon rx + Page of Wands; Knight of Swords rx + 5 of Wands + 10 of Pentacles; the Chariot

Let's start with where you're currently in your career to see if it resonates with you and if you got the right pile. For some of you, it seems you've recently experienced a pretty harsh turn of events in your career that was sudden and unexpected. Perhaps you got laid of or something you were hoping would work didn't. For others, it could also be that you're still waiting for luck to turn in your favor, you may be looking for the job or opportunity of your dreams and feeling quite frustrated by the constant struggle. In both case things are not exactly going well so we'll see what you can do to turn things around.

If we're talking about success, we need to define what success is like for you in your chosen field. With Justice upright, being successful for you would mean a sense of authority in your field, as in, people come to you for advice and look up to the quality of your work but also your work ethic. They would see you as someone very knowledgeable and with a form of wisdom regarding their field. Someone who's able to take hard decision where others would fail to be up to the challenge and face the dilemma. They would respect you and your position.

For the strengths you can count on in order to achieve success, with Death reversed, I definitely think you're not someone to give up easily. Regardless of the setbacks you face, you're able to stay on track and keep your eyes on the price. There is an element of stubbornness but in this position it's actually quite positive since it's what's allowing you to keep pushing where others would have given up. This determination, even in the hardest moment where all hope seems lost, is key to your future success.

Now for what's hindering you, it's quite interesting because it seems to contradict your strengths but I think it's only here to show that these weaknesses have the potential to be turned into strengths, and also bring some nuance to the reading.

What I see is that despite not giving up as we previously saw, you're also prone to feel like the underdog, doomed to be alone against everyone having to constantly fight against people richer and stronger than you for what belongs to you. You have the potential to be a leader and be fully confident in your capacities, but right now it's appearing as a weakness, showing that you haven't embraced your leader-potential just yet. You might be hesitant to take risks due to the uncertainty and you're merely reacting to events rather than taking them as an opportunity to climb higher. You need to learn to take initiatives if you want to step into your power.

3 cards popped out for you mental or emotional blockages. I definitely think that you have this ingrained belief that you're not worth the qualities I described in the previous paragraph. You feel too young, too inexperienced and perhaps not strong or passionate enough to embrace them. But it's a mental blockage and not something rooted in truth. You also have some type of trauma regarding financial abundance, as in, part of you is stuck thinking you will always lack what you need to be at ease, or that you will always miss the opportunities that arise in front of you. I would definitely work on dismantling these beliefs because they are hindering your growth. Everything is learned either from childhood or from later in life, and there is no reason for history to repeat itself unless you let it dictate the way you think and act.

As for what steps to take in order to move forward towards success in your chosen field, you need to resist the temptation to rush and be hasty in your progress. With all the setbacks you're experiencing, it can seem like a good idea to go full force but it's not what's needed in your case. Rather, you should plan ahead and take deliberate steps and building your foundations with a directed focus instead of splashing around. You also need to be mindful of your words and how you come across and keep the idea of collaboration in mind, be it through working directly with people or through networking I'm getting. With that said, you still need to be your own spokesperson so be assertive and don't let competition trample you over. Perhaps your field is very competitive so you'll have to learn to find that stimulating and bloom in that instead of feeling crushed and diminished. There is also the idea that you will be able to achieve success through the help of people around you. It can either be family, friends or work connections you networked with. Perhaps you need to team up with someone and start to make your own path. Regardless, don't look at everyone like they are a potential threat but see the opportunities that can arise when you join forces.

Finally, you need to believe in your own success and abundance. Yes things aren't so great right now but it doesn't mean it will always be the case. You need to learn to believe you're the one in control of your life and lean into that power.

PILE 2

Cards: Ace of Pentacles rx; Knight of Wands + Queen of Cups; 5 of Cups + 7 of Swords; 8 of Pentacles; 7 of Wands; King of Swords + Queen of Pentacles; the World

First of all, we need to start with where you're currently at in your journey to see if it resonates as the right pile for you. I definitely feel like you're quite early in your journey, perhaps even at the ''planting the seed'' phase. You got the Ace of Pentacles reversed in this position which to me means that the seed of your journey just hasn't landed in the soil yet. All this potential and energy is currently still in the realm of your mind.

It's underlined by the bottom of the deck being the world which signifies a world of opportunities waiting to happen in reality. You're definitely at a crossroad so we'll see what can be done about that.

I felt like it was a good idea to define what success looks like to you before looking at what to do to achieve it. So I think for you being successful entails being passionate about what you do, having the motivation to wake up every day without feeling like you're wasting your life. You want to feel in control of your life and that means spending most of your time doing something meaningful to you. I also feel like doing something that's emotionally fulfilling is important, and for some of you that might include something creative or artistic. In both cases, the financial abundance is important but it's a byproduct of doing what you feel fulfilled by.

As to what are your strengths, I think you're someone who's not afraid to take twisted path to achieve your goals. You might be ''street smart'' in the sense that you learn things on the go and in unusual ways and are able to see shortcuts where others only see the main road. I also get the sense that you're able to take a loss because you know that not everything is ever going to waste and that there's always something to learn from every defeat.

For your weakness, I definitely see a lack of experience and skills, which is good because it only take time and energy to remediate. However you need to be set on putting in the work in the long run in order to actually kick of your career otherwise it's remain nothing but a dream. I'm also getting that some of you might struggle with procrastination and feeling overwhelmed by tasks easily.

As for your blockages, and it is in line with my warning of the last paragraph, you might have a tendency to get discouraged easily and give up, where, again, success is all about being determined and working in the long run. Do not let setbacks or obstacles waver your motivation and ambition. It would be a good idea to reflect on what situation triggers such reactions and where it is rooted from.

Finally, for the steps to take toward your success, you definitely need to learn to be disciplined and structure your thoughts, and I'm getting, learning journey. Be clear with what you want to achieve, set down goals and work earnestly towards them. You also need to be practical about your goals and nurture yourself like you would a garden. You're not gonna shout at the plants because they don't grow fast enough. Instead, you research how to better care for them and you provide. Stay flexible in your mind and actions in order to react to events with grace, build onto your strengths to sharpen them, and stay focused on your goal. I'm getting drawn to the idea that the task you're trying to tackle requires many different elements of things to learn or acquire, so really focus all your attention toward one at a time, make it stable and fully integrated, and move onto the next stage of your progress.

PILE 3

Cards: Ace of Swords; Ace of Pentacles; 10 of Swords + the Fool; 5 of Wands; 3 of Wands; 5 of Swords + Ace of Cups rx + Temperance + 4 of Wands rx + the Moon rx

Let's start with where you're currently right now, so that we can make sure it resonates and that it's the right pile for you.

Right now, with the Ace of Wands, you seem to be at the very start of this venture, whether it's a new career path or your very first idea. More precisely, you're in the planning stage, using your mind to figure out what's the best course of action to take in the future, weighting the pros and cons and drawing out a path for the future. I see you gathering information and knowledge about your chosen field so that you can make your entry in the best condition possible.

As to what success looks like to you, with the Ace of Pentacles, I think it's simply pointing at when you'll be able to make money from it. Not that you don't want to aim for something more, it's almost like a symbol of making your first coin, that will lead to many more. With the Ace there's always the idea of potential to come, so I definitely see that at the moment success for you will be to get your foot in the door so to speak, in order to build on it later on. It's also possible that this venture for you is a new chapter of you life and putting the gear into motion is what success is to you.

As for the strengths you can count on in order to achieve success, I definitely feel like you've been through a lot and that it's taken it's toll on you, but that it actually became a strength for you since it's paired with the Fool. I was trying to express this idea when I thought about a qhote from Nitzsche which I think expresses it perfectly:

"One returns regenerated from such abysses, from such a severe self-consumption of grave suspicion, having shed one's old skin, more ticklish, more wicked, with a finer taste for joy, with a more delicate tongue for all good things, with more joyful senses, with a second and more dangerous innocence in joy, at once more childlike and a hundred times more refined than ever before." - Nietzsche - the Gay Science

So yeah, I think you are now rejuvenated and you heart is strong and you're full of desire to take on life and make something glorious and beautiful out of it.

For your weaknesses regarding your career, I think you lack a competitive mindset and that you compare yourself too much to others, thinking you're somewhat lacking in various departments. You're overthinking what others think about what you do and you overheat yourself instead of directing this energy towards your goal. Definitely something you can work on if you find the roots of this lack of self-esteem.

For what mental or emotional blockage you hold, I think you're blocked in the thinking stage of you project and you fear taking the first step. It's like, you know it's not going to be easy so you navigating the waters because you feel safer on the shore even if nothing happen. Perhaps you just need more time but really nothing is ever going to happen if you don't take the plunge so be careful with that. Putting your project into action is not going to be easy, but it will be even harder if you never leave the harbor.

For advice on how to move forward, a whooping four cards came out.

You need to recollect your strengths and prepare for the next battle. Take stock at what you've learned in the past, what has been lost vs won, and how you can build on it in order to propel yourself forward and get out of your current situation.

There is also the need to feed your own emotional fulfillment and not think about money and practical aspects only, which might be a reaction to our current capitalistic world but is not going to feed your soul. Whatever you chose to do next, make sure it aligns with your heart's desire and not just what will bring you a quick buck.

#pick a card #PAC reading #tarot reading #pac tarot #pick a pile #pick a card reading #pick an image #divination #tarotblr #tarot community #tarot #soaringwide #soaringwide tarot reading

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14buddy22 · 2 months

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Hey if you're looking for Hotch requests, what about Hotch dealing with a crush on a non-bau sunshine reader when he's still sad after the divorce/Foyet but he's so confused by his feelings because it's been so long that he doesn't know what's going on??

Like if it's case related, maybe he thinks reader is a suspect because why else would he be so on edge around her and it's just so painfully obvious to everyone else. Idk if that makes sense but I just think Hotch being so out of touch with his emotions despite being a profiler would be funny lol

Feel free to adapt and make it your own!! Thanks!!

Thanks for your request! I hope it lives up to your expectation!

You were the best damn bartender in Quantico, Virginia. At least, that's what you thought to yourself. You made work fun. You worked in a club environment so if you wore something scandalous, flirted with the customers a bit, you were sure to bring in a hefty tip at the end of the night.

But, you loved the hustle and bustle of it. You loved the interactions, loved singing along to the bands or the good music. You loved having conversations with the locals, loved celebrating parties for kids turning 21, people getting married, or hell, people getting divorced.

Then you met who you swore is your soulmate. Something in you stilled when you were bartending. You never froze up at your job. You were good at what you do. But seeing him walk through that door, looking all handsome in a suit, he took your breath away. You watched how he interracted with the bouncer.

You watched him show his badge to your best friend. FBI. An average Joe wouldn't just waltz into your bar, you knew he was a sophisticated man.

But when he locked eyes with you, you felt like the bar had heated up 100 degrees. Making his way over to you, you were trying to calm down. What had you feeling like this?

"Hi, I'm Agent Hotchner with the Behavioral Analysis Unit for the FBI. It's my understanding from the gentleman at the front that you are the lead bartender?"

You finished making your drink for one of the locals and asked your partner to manage the bar. Luckily it was early evening and the college kids had about another hour before they started flooding in so you knew you'd be okay leaving her by herself.

"Yes, I'm Y/n Y/L/N. It's nice to meet you. How can I help you?"

You shook his hand, and you swore you both held it for longer than you both intended.

All I could think was that she was beautiful. No, no, I can't think like that. My wife, ex-wife was brutally murdered a little over a year ago. Something's different talking to her, to-Y/n. Something I haven't felt in a while but I don't know what it is.

She's a bartender. I hear she's a damn good one. Maybe that's why she's about to be the suspect in a string of murders. Men have been killed shortly after they leave this bar. Traces of posion have come back on the tox screen. Bartenders have access to the drinks and alcohol before they serve, y/n's the perfect suspect.

But she's beautiful, and I haven't seen her stop smiling at all. She has a gorgeous smile. She'd be the sunshine on the rainiest days for the men that have been murdered. Before I know it, my thoughts and feelings consumed me, I'm still holding her hand. I could feel Dave's eyes burning a hole into me.

"Have you heard about the three men murdered around town?"

"Yeah, I have. It's very unfortunate. They were great men. At least to me. They tipped well and always had friendly conversations. They also stood up for me if some men coming in here for the first time were getting a little handsy with me."

Oh how I wished I could be the one to make sure no one got handsy with her. Wait, what am I saying? She's a suspect, she doesn't know it, but she is.

"How were they killed?"

Agent Hotchner's partner spoke up to answer your question.

"They were poisoned."

Ugh, these poor men. Had to die a slow pain, they didn't deserve it. They deserved justice now.

"We just wanted to come in to see if anything unusual has happened lately."

"I've seen a lot of crime shows with my ex-boyfriends before. You're really trying to see if I did it. Which I didn't. I don't think I have the heart to kill anyone. I broke up with my last ex because he hunted and I couldn't bare the thought of killing animals."

Of course you broke up with your ex because of that. But I have a job to do and I have to investigate further. Plenty of killers have lied straight to my face before.

"We'll be in touch Ms. Y/l/n, thank you for your time."

You smiled and shook their hands one last time before you went back to working your shift. Something about Aaron caught my eye. Maybe it's the way he was blushing like a school boy. You're not sure, but he was handsome.

Just when Aaron walked into the bar, you smiled at him, offering him a drink.

"Agent Hotchner, it's good to see you again."

Your smile never waivered. Maybe you would shoot your shot with him.

I can't believe I have to do this. Arrest someone this pretty. Arrest this girl who Rossi thinks I have feelings for. What? Feelings? That's an intense word, but I have to arrest her.

"Unfortunately I'm here to place you under arrest."

I watched all the color drain from her face. I watched her smile fall so fast. But it had to be her. Rossi and the team wasn't so sure, but I have a gut feeling it's her. Of course with it being my team, they weren't going to stop me. I took her sunshine away.

"Agent Hotchner, I, I didn't do anything."

Your manager saw what was going on, he was like your work dad. He took care of you like his daughter, despite him having sons, he treated you like his princess. You heard him say say, "Y/n, I'm getting you a lawyer, do not speak. I know you didn't do this. But I'll meet you where they're taking you."

You smiled back at him, tears filling your eyes. You wanted to make everyone happy, you never wanted to hurt anyone. How are you being arrested? You didn't do anything wrong.

Your ride back in Aaron's SUV was silent. How could you think he was your soulmate? Your soulmate would never arrest you. But you were still feeling something, you couldn't explain it.

I keep looking in the rearview mirror at her. I had to trust my gut. She poisioned those men. But why do I feel so guilty arresting her. From the time we had met her, been surveillencing her, up until I placed the handcuffs on her, she had smiled. Everyone spoke highly of her. I took away her sunshine. I did that.

As you walked into an interrogation room, Aaron sat you down in the seat, then took off your hand cuffs, handcuffing one hand to the table instead.

"We'll wait for your lawyer, do you need anything?"

"No."

You couldn't even look at him. How could her. You told him you didn't do it.

As I walked out, I was greeted with Penelope. "Sir, she has nothing on her record, not even a speeding ticket. I've looked through her social media posts and everyone spoke so highly of her. Friends were making special post to thank her for being a great friend. She took care of everyone. Sir, I-I know I'm not an agent, but I just can't believe it's her."

Penelope was cut off by my phone ringing, picking it up after viewing the caller I.D.

Morgan said, "Hotch, we got the wrong girl. It's Y/n's bartending partner. I just watcher her slip something into this guy's drink. I'm bringing her in, we can cut Y/n loose. You can be happy now. Y/n's not a killer. What that gut feeling is, is your feelings that you like her Hotch. You haven't felt that since Haley. I know it's been 20 years, but trust me man. Y/n is something special, according to the track record she has. She's the opposite of a killer. She's just the type of sunshine that you and Jack need in your life."

Aaron walked in and said, "I'm sorry, there has been a huge mistake. You are free to go. It was the other bartender you worked with.

"What? There's no way. She's amazing at what she does."

Aaron shook her head and said, "One of my agents was in the bar watching the entire time, he was undercover. He watched her slip something in another man's drink."

"Oh. Well, I'm glad you got the right killer. If, if you don't mind, can one of your agents give me a ride home? I don't have my car, obviously."

You didn't know how to feel. You knew you didn't do anything, but was Agent Hotchner always going to have a doubt in his mind that you were a killer?

You got in his car, this time sitting in the front seat. A storm was coming in, you enjoyed the rain and thunder, it calmed you. You two rode in silence, when he dropped you of at your apartment, he walked you up.

When you opened your door, you turned around to thank him, instead that didn't come out.

"I told you I didn't do it, ya know?"

"I know. I know. I'm sorry. I. There's something about you, y/n. I thought you were a suspect, but you should've never been one."

As your eyes were red and filled with tears, you looked at the man who you thought was your soulmate, instead, he had ruined you. Yes, you two didn't date, yes, you didn't hook up, but there was something there.

"Well then why the hell did you do this, Aaron? Why arrest me?"

"My ex-wife passed away a year ago. I haven't had feelings for anyone in nearly 20 years. My feelings for you confused me. I didn't know what I was feeling. I didn't know what these feelings were because I've been so out of touch with them. And it took me a minute to realize that these feelings are because I didn't think you were a killer, I thought you were beautiful. I think you're beautiful. But that gut feeling was that I think. I think I've found my soulmate."

As she stepped closer to me, I watched the sunshine fill her eyes again, her smile creeping up her face. God, was she beautiful and amazing, and from her friend's testimonies who I interviewed, she was a down right amazing person. Just the absolute sunshine to be around.

You were going to kiss Aaron. You were glad he figured out his feelings. This was going to be the start of something new. You didn't know what happened to his ex, you'd find out someday. You took the chance. You placed your hands on Aaron's hips and leaned in to kiss him. You were so happy that Aaron felt the same way. How did you know this? He placed his hands on your face and kissed you back like you were the only sunshine he'd ever see again.

#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner fanfic #aaron hotchner x female reader #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner angst #aaron hotchner fluff

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reiderwriter · 10 months

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hi!!! omg i’ve been following you for a bit now and i saw that it’s not only your 1k celebration(AHHHHHH OMG CONGRATS GIRL!!!) but also your birthday soon!!! So happy birthday and i hope you’re having a fantabulous day!!

If it’s not too much trouble, could i request #4 on your 1k celeb list for Spencer Reid? maybe like imagine they’re undercover in a club or at a party and reader has to dance on him for some odd reason and boy is already mad in love and now he’s got a hard on while his crush dances on him for a case and reader maybe takes mercy on him and drags him to a private place tooooooo😋😋

it’s totally okay if this isn’t to your fancy so don’t feel pressured at all!! i love your writing so much and i just know anything you write, even if you don’t write this ask or if you change it up, will be amazing!!! enjoy your birthday b and take loads of a care of yourself!💕💕

A/N: Thank you for the request, and I AM SO SORRY it took me nearly four months to get to 😭 I actually loved writing this one, so I hope you enjoy reading it! Thank you for the birthday wishes 💖

Warnings: public sex, sex in an alleyway, talks of oral (m receiving), fingering, penetrative sex, dirty talk, creampie, coworkers to lovers, spoilers for upto season 7 of Criminal Minds.

“Cover? Right now? I'm wading through three caseloads of paperwork right now, I don't have time to go gallivanting across the country for another unit.” You stressed to your Unit Chief as she smiled sympathetically at you.

“Temporary reassignment means your desk will be cleared of work when you return, I'll personally complete it myself. That is if you decide to come back.”

“It would take one hell of an offer to get me to join another team, ma'am, and you know it.”

Working under your boss Andi Swann at the Domestic Trafficking Task Force was something you took a lot of pride in. The work you did saved hundreds of women across the country, and you found justice for the ones you were too late for. It had been your second choice after you'd left the academy and a particularly ambitious one, all things considered.

“Y/N, the Behavioural Analysis Unit needs you. Now, I remember your resume as well as you do, most likely, so don't try to convince me all of the profiling credits and courses you took at the academy were solely to be used for trafficking work.”

You flushed as the woman caught you off guard. It was true that you hoped to someday be able to transfer to the aforementioned unit, but you truly still respected the woman in front of you.

Deciding that your respect trumped your human need to placate her worries about you suddenly skipping out on her, you simply cleared your throat and spoke as calmly as possible.

“What is it exactly that the BAU needs me for?”

The older woman smiled back at you and shook her head slightly before opening her mouth again.

“It seems that one of their team members needs a date.”

–X–

Having recovered from the shock of your reassignment and its details, you'd found yourself packing a few things from your desk, grabbing your go-bag, climbing into the elevator and arriving at the doors of the BAU.

You then struggled for a few minutes to open with all the things crowding your hands.

“Here let me,” a voice said from behind you, as you suddenly saw an arm come up around your side to push the door open. You followed your gaze up the arm until your back was against the door, moving backwards even as he pushed it open as your throat went dry.

The man in front of you was hot. It was as if some deity had plucked your ideal type out of your mind, moulded him with clay, and kiln fired him before placing him right back in front of you as temptation.

You were sure that minutes had passed since he'd spoken with you just staring up at him like this, but alas, you really couldn't help yourself.

“Oh! Thank you,” you smiled, hoping it would diffuse the sudden awkward atmosphere that your staring had bought on. “I'm sorry, can you tell me where Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner's office is?” You mumbled out, trying to clear your throat silently as you lost yourself in the strangers' gaze.

His eyes were locked on yours, and as he broke eye contact, your heart jumped as you noticed his ears were stained red, embarrassment apparently not lost on him.

“Up the stairs, first office, his name is on the door. You must be SSA Y/N.” Shocked to hear your name drop from his mouth you felt a Rusholme mortification as you studied the man once again.

Slightly messy hair, pile of books in his hand, dressed like he'd fallen into a closet at a retirement home, tall wiry frame.

Ashley Seaver's description of Doctor Spencer Reid had been spot on. Apart from the part where she had failed to mention, he was quite possibly the most attractive man on earth.

“Doctor Reid?” You asked, voice a squeak, almost scared that you were wrong despite there being no suggestion that you might be.

“How did you…?” His eyes widened with a smile as he looked back to you again, searching for answers with his head cocked slightly to the side.

“I work in Domestic Trafficking. Agent Seaver and my unit chief both gave me brief descriptions of your team so I wouldn't get bogged down with introductions when I got here.” You explained quickly for fear that he'd think you slightly stalkerish for knowing his name, even though he obviously knew yours as well.

He smiled slightly awkwardly again and gestured further inside the office, sending you off to your temporary new Unit Chief's office with a small whisper.

“I look forward to working with you.”

--X–

The debrief with Aaron Hotchner was swift and you appreciated the man's ability to cut straight to the point.

There was a killer targeting women in New York City, just like there were killers targeting women everywhere. But this one had taken specific issue with women who were social climbers, who attended events with high profile and successful men on their arms.

So far, the NYPD could link 7 homicides to the killer and were under pressure to catch the guy before Lucky Number eight.

The FBI had stepped in and suggested you be Lucky Number eight.

They'd been sent the case as a consult and provided the profile, to which the NYPD had asked for full cooperation.

Which is how you found yourself on a jet heading to New York City two hours after Andi Swann had called you into her office. Productive day.

“What does your budget look like after a year of private jet travel?” You wondered out loud as you followed Hotchner onto the plane. SSA David had followed you onto the plane as well, having tried to introduce himself earlier. You'd allowed him the moment of humility before telling him you knew exactly who he was, and he'd be surprised if anyone in the entire bureau didn't.

“Well they haven't put me on display yet, so I don't think I'm quite a fossil. Pleasure to be working with you.”

His words were kind enough, but they were a reminder of the other man you'd met earlier.

The man who had since climbed into the seat next to you, ready for the on the go case briefing.

“We've established identities for the two of you, ready for you to go in tonight to establish yourselves as bait,” Hotch explained, handing you each a personnel folder.

“Spencer, you'll be Charles Buchanan, local businessman with alleged ties to several socialite families in the Upper East Side.” That seemed to earn a few chuckles from Agent Morgan from his perch at the other end of the plane desk, but he cleverly kept his mouth shut.

“Y/N, you'll be Daisy Smith, you're a student putting herself through a graduate degree, who has turned to sugaring to cover course fees.”

“Sugaring?” Rossi asked from Hotch's side, waiting for someone to clarify.

“It's a term used to describe the act of being a sugar baby or sugar daddy. A usually non-sexual consensual relationship involving cash or other materialistic gifts.” Spencer filled in the gaps easily, without looking up from the file he was scanning ridiculously fast.

Okay, speed-reading and super intelligence check, and you were two for two on descriptions of Spencer Reid. Swann's description had also left a lot to be desired.

“We've got Garcia establishing some online profiles for the both of you currently using the images you sent us earlier. Hopefully, we were correct in our estimation of his hunting grounds, but he'll need to stalk you for a night or two before he strikes.”

You cleared your throat carefully as you finally decided to ask the question that had been bugging you the entire time.

“I'm sorry if this is forward, but is there a reason I was chosen for this assignment? I don't have much undercover experience, and I was told there were two women on your team. Was I misinformed?”

“That's correct. Unfortunately, last week, Agent Prentiss decided to take a job with Interpol in London. Agent Jareau was also recently married, so she put in leave to enjoy her honeymoon. None of the candidates we have lined up fit our Unsub's type. You do.”

“As good as I would look in a dress, you're going to be much more effective at catching this guy,” Morgan joked from the side, just as Hotch accepted a video call through to the jet.

“Morgan in a dress, sounds like one of my dreams come true.”

“Calm it, baby girl, what have you got for us?”

“Invitations to a charity ball being held in Manhattan tonight, and around 1000 hits across five sugaring platforms for Miss Y/N. If the FBI turns out to be a letdown, you have a lot of serious offers here, sweetie.” You laughed out loud at how she blasted through and diffused all the tension in your team, without even thinking to introduce herself first.

“You must be Penelope Garcia. It's nice to meet you.”

“Not as nice as it is to meet you, I promise.”

The remainder of the jet ride had been quiet if not restful, the presence of Spencer Reid a disturbingly pretty thorn in your side.

You'd sneaked glances at him multiple times, not an easy feat on a jet filled with profilers. His fingers had grazed yours as he passed you his file earlier as well, letting you read up on his new character.

What you found most distracting, though, was the now bare stretch of skin peaking out from his shirt collar.

He'd decided to take a nap at some point earlier, and now you silently cursed him for it as you looked at the splash of skin distractedly.

You could press your lips there and work your way up to his lips. Or you could go in the opposite direction and have more fun, you reminded yourself.

It seemed that image had you waking up, jerking upright so that you would not let that go any further.

This was your job. You were a professional, an FBI agent.

You weren't allowed to imagine giving this man a blow job on government time. You'd have to save that thought for after the case was closed, and you could go your separate ways, you thought.

Landing was easy and you moved straight into dress fittings and practising your story for the party later that night.

Which meant a blissful few hours without the distraction of Spencer Reid.

Luckily for you, the first dress they'd given you to wear had turned out to be a good fit, showcasing some of your more prominent assets.

It hugged your body tight, but it wasn't uncomfortable, showing off a generous amount of cleavage and leg as well. It wasn't quite scandalous, but you knew it was definitely the kind of outfit that would stick out like a sore thumb at a socialite dinner.

Which meant it was perfect for baiting the unsub.

By 7pm, you'd been outfitted, prepped, and deposited in the back of a limousine with Spencer Reid, and you were right back at square one trying not to climb him then and there.

His outfit choice had been slightly harder, apparently, given his taller frame, but the three piece suit they'd given him was do perfect it was hard to tell it wasn't tailored to his measurements.

“Are you nervous?” He asked, whispering the words in your ear as he stroked your hand. Although the limousine driver was an undercover NYPD detective, you'd both been told to get into character as quickly as possible.

There were a series of other undercover agents being placed throughout the party tonight - Hotch was going in as a representative of the District Attorney's office, a few NYPD detectives were serving guests drinks and food, and Rossi had managed to get an invite as himself.

Morgan was left running surveillance in the van outside.

Because of your outfit and the nature of the unsubs attacks, there had been no point in trying to put a wire on you at this point in time. It'd take him a week of surveillance to pick you up anyway. Tonight would just be the start of his hunt.

So you let Spencer stroke your hand, fingers locked in his as you gave him a smile, and tried not to imagine them wrapped around his cock.

“Just a little. I think it's the dress shows off a bit more than I'm used to.” He took a second to glance down your body, as if he'd been waiting for your permission until now, and you watched his eyes pause over your chest and at where the hem sat at the top of your thighs, dangerously close to bearing everything.

“You look… beautiful. I think our unsub will like it, at least.”

You tried to hide your disappointment as he pulled his hand away, ready to open the door as the car pulled up to your destination.

You surveyed the room as you walked in, trying to memorise every particularly leering smile from men as you made your way to your seat.

After half an hour, though, it seemed like catching your guy was going to be like finding a needle in a haystack. Or a creep in a room full of creeps.

It seemed like every man who talked to Spencer only glanced at you to stare down your dress, a few even attempting to pat your back and let their hands drift south.

If it weren't for the sake of the job, you'd have sucker punched some of the richest men in New York City by now. And you'd have enjoyed it.

Politely detaching himself from conversation, Spencer guided you away to the dance floor for a second. You'd planned it this way for when you needed some time privately to discuss potential suspects.

A few other couples glided around the floor as you stood chest to chest with Spencer, surprised how confidently he was handling the caseload.

His hands took their places, one on your hip, the other gripping your own as you both began to sway side to side.

“Any ideas?” He whispered in your ear as you moved delicately.

“Your 10 o’clock. Younger son of the Johnson family. He’s been sat glaring at me for 10 minutes despite his mother's attempts to network for him.”

“It fits the profile, absent father, overbearing mother. He has obvious disdain for you. Is there anyone else?” His words were hot against your skin as you looked up at him, finding your lips surprisingly close as your bodies continued swaying together.

“Half of the men in this room have undressed me with their eyes, the other half actually tried to put their hands on me when they were talking to you.” He stiffened at that, breaking eye contact as his eyes flashed with sudden emotion.

His hand slid from your waist further down to stroke your ass slightly as he watched the crowd to see anyone taking offence at his sudden bold display of affection.

At least that was what you assumed he was doing as you too began to glance around, watching for anyone watching you, confident that Hotch, Rossi, and the others would do the same.

When his hand on your ass pulled you closer into him, though, you weren't so sure.

“Spencer, what are you-” You started in confusion, noticing that his gaze had returned to you. More specifically, that it had returned to your chest, as he stared down at how your breasts looked, pushed up against his chest as they were.

He encouraged your other hand to wrap around his shoulder, freeing his other hand to land on your ass again as he pulled you closer still.

You'd almost stopped moving, certain that having his body pressed against yours in every place hardly counted as dancing. You opened your mouth to say as much when you felt something twitch against your thigh. A low groan slipped from Spencer's lips as he adjusted your positions slightly as you felt something hard shift against your leg.

“Do you seriously have a boner right now?” You whispered, as much in exasperation as in excitement.

Spencer Reid was grinding his boner into you in front of a room full of people, and you felt like you'd just won the lottery.

“I'm sorry, natural reaction. You look so hot tonight, and then your hands were all over me.” He rambled slightly in his explanations, mortification clear on his face as he tried to apologise.

“It's okay.” You whispered in his ear, pulling yourself up on your toes softly to press a chaste kiss to his lips.

If you just so happened to rub up against him going up and down, eliciting another deep groan for the man, then so be it.

“Y/N…” He whispered you name like a prayer and it almost convinced you that there was no one else in the room.

“Spencer, there's no way our unsub is going to approach us if you have that thing tenting your pants.” You kept your voice low as your hands trailed down his chest. Pushing one further, you gently rubbed over his clothed member as if accentuating your point.

“We need to solve this problem, don't you think?”

His jaw clenched as he contemplated your words, trying not to let any other sounds out. His nod was barely perceptible, but within seconds you were glancing around the room for a quick exit, and in another minute, you'd slipped through a service entrance and out through some corridors into a dimly lit alleyway.

As soon as you were cloaked in darkness, Spencer was on you.

Whirling you around, he backed you into the wall until your back was pressed into it, and his lips were on yours.

You moaned helplessly into the kiss, hands finding his chest again and moving south even as he began exploring your body.

“This is an important case, and we're about to blow it because I can't keep my hands off you,” he whispered between kisses, lips trailing down your neck.

“Do you know how crazy we both must be?”

“I know exactly how crazy for you I am, Reid. Now, please let me suck your dick.” You moaned the words as his fingers found their way into your panties, stroking your clit.

“Y/N, I'm trying to talk sense into us here.” He groaned as your fingers fumbled with his pant buttons, hand sliding into the material to wrap around his cock.

“How much sense are you talking with your fingers inside me?” You panted, willing him to just fully let go and let you both enjoy yourselves.

“While we're out here, Hotch and Rossi are inside, noting down anyone who takes particular offence to our exit. We can enjoy ourselves and catch a better lead.” You started slowly pumping him then, as he pushed closer into you, allowing you to reach more of him at this different angle.

His head dropped to your shoulder as he breathed out a laugh.

“Right, this will help.” He tried to convince yourself, and you grinned in victory, rocking your hips against his hand to find your release sooner.

Until he withdrew his hand and used it to grasp your own, halting your movements.

“Spencer?” You pouted slightly, but he pressed another kiss to your lips this time forceful and demanding, to guess begging permission to enter and dominate you.

You gladly accepted him into your mouth, even as you felt him pushing up your skirt, letting the material ride higher as it had been trying to do all night.

Making sure you were steady against the brick wall, he pulled your hips up and around his, pushing your panties to the side as he pushed inside of you.

The stretch was maddening. Everywhere he touched became hot against the cool night breeze as he began his frenzied strokes into you.

You lost all capability for speech, which was probably for the best, as you were sure you'd only ask for him to do more disgusting things to you eventually.

His mouth slid to the top of your breasts as they bounced with each thrust, waiting to claim a nipple in his mouth when one eventually came free of the offending material.

“Such a little slut, begging to suck my dick. Maybe next time, princess.” You screamed and arched your back as he finally bit down around your nipple, soothing the skin with his tongue as he licked and suckled there.

His other hand fell to your clit again, pushing you to the edge as you finally came on his cock.

He didn't stop though, powering through as you tightened around him, moaning wantonly as his thrusts hit deeper still.

“Let's see what our unsub thinks when he sees my cum dripping out of you,” he whispered again, as he too let himself go, releasing spurt after spurt of cum inside of you.

Making sure you were strong enough, he set you back down on the ground, keeping an arm wrapped around you protectively as you smoothed your clothes back into place.

You helped him button his pants as he smoothed your hair, tucking a stray piece behind your ear before ducking in for one more sweet kiss.

“I'm sorry that I couldn't let you, uh, perform orally,” he blushed again, his ears that same shade of red you noticed earlier as he guided you back inside. “I think someone would have noticed if I'd ruined your makeup that much.”

You practically choked on your own spit as you finally slipped back into the dance hall.

“Next time,” you said, making sure to finish the conversation you'd started. “We’ll have more privacy.”

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid smut #mgg #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fandom #spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader smut #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid criminal minds

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sku-nk · 4 months

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May i request somwthing with, Sam and reader on a movie date but reader is a nerd and rambles to Sam about the movie after and Sam finds it cute 🥹 you can do it however, I would like it nevertheless 🫶🏼 (I love grumpy x sunshine trope srry)

Whatever You Say

Synopsis: You've rediscovered your favorite movie, and with that comes lots of rambling. Sam doesn't mind much.

Warnings: I forgot I took the language out, my neck hurts, my foot hurts, fluff, The Outsiders spoilers I suppose

A/N: Let's hope "constructive criticism ☝️🤓" anon finds this up to par.

"I feel like... this is one of the few movies that do their book justice, you know?"

Sam looks up from the stove with a raised brow. It's been almost half an hour since the two of you finished watching The Outsiders, yet your enthusiasm hasn't wavered one bit since the moment she clicked play to the moment the end credits rolled (your tears, too, to Sam's secret amusement).

"Right," she says as she looks back to the spaghetti, more so to assure you she's still listening than anything else. Honestly, she's almost completely sure you wouldn't care if she wasn't.

"I mean, yeah, some people say it's not the best option, or, like... some aspects could be whatever, whatever, but it's good to me, though. You know?"

"Sure."

"Especially Johnny, I think. Like, Ralph was probably... one of, if not the best casting choice. He, like- he looks like a kicked puppy. Not saying that like- you know."

Sam lowers the heat on the stove, turning to grab the pesto sauce from the fridge. "I know, Y/n" she sighs as she opens the door, glancing in for a moment before reaching in and pulling out the pesto. She straightens up and turns back to the stove— and you, now that you've moved to lay half your body on the island— nudging the fridge door closed with her foot.

Sam opens the glass jar, dumping the remainder of the sauce into the pan unceremoniously. You watch with mild interest as you continue with your little analysis, or whatever it is you're doing. She has to admit, it is slightly endearing to see you so passionate about something, even a movie.

"I think people who still say the movie could have been better should remember the actual horrible movie adaptations out there. Like Avatar the Last Airbender," you say, tapping your hand on the island.

"I don't know what that is," Sam mumbles absently, stirring everything together, watching as meatballs disappear and spread out in the pan.

"It's something you never, ever wanna see, Sammy," you tell her matter-of-factly. Sam snorts.

"Anyways, those people are probably the same people who say the book didn't make sense in the first place. I didn't even know The Outsiders haters existed. Like, it... it makes sense. It does."

"Okay, Y/n, whatever you say," Sam says. She'll take your word for it. It was a good movie, she sort of sympathized with Darry. But she didn't really get into it the way you did.

"I mean, the whole movie is extremely symbolic, you know?"

"Uh..."

"I think it might be one of the best movie adaptations ever. I'll be honest, though, it's probably because the book was so good that the storyline does most of the work for the movie but..."

Sam looks up from the stove at you as you ramble on. She watches as you completely lose yourself in it, the way your eyes sort of light up and you have this little smirk whenever you get to a topic you especially enjoy. Sam leans forward on the counter.

After a long moment of you speaking with the absence of Sam's little hums of acknowledgement and 'sure's, you look up from the loose string on your shirt you'd been playing with, voice trailing off. You cock a brow at the look on Sam's face, something that makes her almost laugh.

"What?" you ask, confused. Sam just shakes her head and reaches over to turn off the stove, chuckling to herself. She turns away from you, making her way over to the cabinets where the plates are.

"Nothing," she says, though her tone is a little too amused for it to be nothing. You watch as she grabs two forks and brings it all back to the stove, piling both plates with generous amounts of spaghetti.

She puts a lid on the pan with the remaining spaghetti and carries the two plates to the table. She sets them down, in next to each other in front of your usual seats. You hop off of the island and take a seat in one of the chairs.

Sam settles herself in beside you and picks up her fork as you let out a little sigh.

"It looks good," you say, grabbing your fork as well. You use it to pick up some spaghetti, but when you lift it to your mouth you pause.

"You know what? I think if you watch the movie while you listen to the book it'd be a cool thing. 'Cause some parts will line up and you can see the stuff happening as it's being read, and stuff. Also, it's cool to see what's different."

You take a bite. Sam drops her gaze to her own plate and digs in. It's comfortably quiet for a moment. Your fork clatters against the table.

"I just feel like Johnny's death was such a necessary thing, like it was something we as an audience needed even though it broke our hearts, and— What?"

Sam sighs, though a soft smile takes over her features. She shakes her head, just looking at you for a moment.

"Eat your food, babe," she finally says, her smile still present as she looks back to her own food.

#ts is so lazyyy #samantha carpenter x reader #sam carpenter x reader #sam carpenter #samantha carpenter #fem!reader #female reader #scream 5 #scream 6

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cyb3rtarot · 4 months

Text

Pick a Pile: Your Manifesting Analysis | Tarot Edition

Disclaimer: readings are not replacements for professional advice. Take what confirms and not what confuses. I’m reading a 9-card tarot spread about your manifesting style, and an extra general message. Both conscious & subconscious manifestation, both things physically worked for and spiritually manifested. You create your own fate. This is called “tarot edition” as I would like to make a Lenormand edition eventually :]

Links to help Palestinian families, even $1 helps!!! Family #5 is very close to the goal!! 1 2 3 4 5

pile 1 𓇼 pile 2 𓇼 pile 3 pile 4 𓇼 pile 5 𓇼 pile 6

𓇼 °.𓇼 ..𓇼 °

Pile 1

[Wheel of Fortune rx, the Moon rx, four of wands, two of wands, the Emperor rx (clarified by Jera), Justice, the Lovers, the Master, We Are the World rx]

Helloo pile 1! I loved you guys’ energy, it was so unique! There’s a lot of scenarios that don’t necessarily overlap; don’t force anything to fit. This pile has a complicated relationship with conscious manifestation, especially seen in the first card being the Wheel of Fortune rx. But, you have a very strong manifesting power if you wanted to tap into it. You’re aware of manifesting techniques and could be very observant when it comes to patterns between your mind and real life. But, there may be something off-putting about using this personally. A lot of you feel like you’re messing with the natural order if you consciously manifest. You could feel hesitant to change your environment or affect others’ lives. Some of you feel it’s pointless to manifest things for yourself, you’re not sure if you want to try, or you can’t choose something to go for. This could be because you’re very upset with the state of the world, or you’re more focused on your loved ones, so you’re like “we don’t have time for this!” with personal desire. There’s a constant focus on others. You may make collective justice and balance your responsibility. Or, feel like it’s a job/mission to take care of loved ones. I don’t get people-pleaser vibes; your brains inherently function this way. Many of you take the state of the collective personally, like a personal failing. You could have blamed yourself for things that happened in your environment, like family financial issues or relationship issues even when there were other factors. There’s just a gigantic pool of latent potential and a purposeful way you currently don’t use it to the fullest. This doesn’t mean you don’t manifest, but that your energy is on the passive side currently. You may prefer observing what naturally happens, or you’re always waiting for the “right time.”

You manifest naturally for others, particularly loved ones. You automatically think of the collective before yourself. Not necessarily because you want to be a helper or be liked, your mind just functions in a wide perspective. Someone could mention something specific they want, and then within the week they (or both of you) suddenly have the opportunity to do that. Most of you are aware of this pattern and it mostly happens without trying, but you’re not opposed either.

This pile is very open & accepting. You’re understanding of walking one's own path and of light & shadow coexisting. You accept people as they are and not just their potential, and this may be part of why you’re not as drawn to conscious manifestation. You have gigantic compassion for humanity, and it empowers manifesting for others. You show what's possible, not just materially but also as a great learning environment. I don’t think you necessarily like people themselves so you could be like :| but you give others space to be as they are even when you do have higher hopes. That’s compassion—an expression of love, even if it doesn’t feel like what you’d consider love. You may have associated with people from many different areas of life, including those looked down upon (or you yourself have come up from rougher places). People who don’t understand you may view you as silly or naive, but most of you know what you’re doing. It’s ironic, your compassion fuels your abilities but also fuels a lack of interest in using them.

Your easy-going tendencies act like a magnet. People may easily get comfortable after knowing you for a short time (I see a random person gravitating towards you in a quiet lobby and suddenly chatting you up). Or, you’re very adept at reading others, so people don’t necessarily need to tell you a lot for you to know. But, you guys need to be careful of who’s allowed in your energy. Hold on before you lose interest because ik most of you don’t gaf LOL. But people get very deeply interlinked with your energy to the point where your realities can mirror. The example I got is a friend could lose a job but get another one very quickly, and then the exact chain of events happens to you. You should care about yourselves too. I’m not picking up on esteem issues, so you may not apply advice about protecting yourself because you chose this path and you’re not doing it based on something you lack in yourself. You know what people are like and choose others anyway. But it’s still important, you need the same self care to produce your best lifetime just like others. I heard “emotional & spiritual hygiene;” be aware of how people in your energy influence your life and those tied to you (and effects can linger). Grounding & cleansing practices after interacting with others a lot will be beneficial (it can be spiritual, or it can be practical like showers and time by yourself). Be mindful of the consequences of who you associate with. If you hang out with someone who does unsafe activities, you potentially allow danger to carry over. Sometimes it doesn’t help the collective to be completely accessible, it can make it harder for others to learn (especially on a soul level, if you believe in reincarnation), and you sacrifice your learning too. What is imbalanced eventually returns to balance.

You may notice something very specific passes through your thoughts or dreams and then you see a close manifestation of it in real life shortly after. I read this as intuition, but this pile is not as into spirituality as others so you may take this as pattern recognition. Maybe this is why some of you may blame yourself for bad things happening? Being able to pick up on patterns does not make you a harbinger of doom. Life is a group project, many things have to transpire for one event to potentially occur, don’t make everything your personal burden. Take care of your mental health even when you feel ok.

Message [All Must Have Prizes rx, Bluff (Jupiter in Gemini, 3rd house), Woman, Scythe]:

You may be moving out this energy already, but there’s emphasis on releasing people-pleasing tendencies, even if you’re not doing anything with that intent. There may be an impending situation where it’s impossible to please everyone. You may only have enough resources/ time to give one person/group/yourself, or you might have to say something that doesn’t make everyone happy. This pile is used to diplomacy or bluffing through since you’re intuitive & good at reading others. But, this situation may show that diplomacy is not always the highest outcome, or the extent of what you don’t know can surprise you. A possible example is you could be surprised by the extent someone goes to get something, or someone could have an unexpected reaction to you. It’s not that you can’t work through this, but your immediate instincts or usual perspective may be shaken. You might need a logical perspective instead of trying to consider everyone’s emotions. This situation may seem sudden or feel like you’re on a timer, so be aware of default approaches and your blind spots.

For conscious manifesting, pick something! For you. It doesn’t have to be big or related to someone else. Something doesn’t have to be important, amazing, or a passion to manifest it. Manifesting little things that cross your mind is great practice. If you keep looking for something “important enough,” you’ll stay in a loop forever. You’re not taking away from someone else by getting a treat. Focusing on your own thoughts and desires will help you find what’s left to be discovered in you. Treat it as an experiment, game, or side quest if that makes you more likely to do it.

Most of you had a vacuum of support you had to fill. Maybe most around you are not quite where you are in your journey. They may be more unstable, not as responsible in decision-making, less independent, or in more shaky times. Not to say you don’t have your own problems, but when you look at the lessons you go through by yourself these days compared to those around you, others seem to have more “imminent” needs, a crisis, or are asking for more support (this can just be how it appears). It’s like you’ve reached this place in your journey where there’s not many others who you can reflect off of constructively, have new experiences with, or an even exchange. If you read collective readings, or you hear advice, you may already understand it on an intrinsic level, so you don’t take it in very much. You’re used to everything and just looking towards others and helping. This is what has created a blind spot. If a situation like I described above happens, it may throw you for a loop because you’re not used to your wisdom or observation skills not working as usual. You’re not used to hearing new things that feel applicable to your life. And you’ve been looking back towards the collective so long to lend a helping hand that your own path forward is also in your blind spot. But, it’s still there. You have your own page in the collective story. Maybe this can be something to manifest, new experiences or people that advance your journey and show what’s left to learn?

Extra Details: swimming or hanging out in water (I saw really clear ocean water but could be a pool/etc), blocked/ “stuffy” heart energy, Virgo rising/Libra 2nd house (twin), Libra rising/Sun/Moon/Mercury/Jupiter/ stellium, Mercury as a dominant planet, valley or west coast accent [US], living vicariously, apathetic or appears so, blaming yourself for negative events, Masochism by Ky Voss. I’m picking up some of you hang with a rougher crowd but if you feel unsafe around one person in particular pay attention to that! Sisyphus, songwriting (don’t give up hobbies just to focus on others!), not knowing where you stand with a higher power or the universe, feeling like you have a higher mission/calling for the collective, food service (servers/hostess), projector or reflector human design type, craving hamburgers, drawing/doodling (esp fanart?) or some kind of crafts (this may be something to try rather than something you already do), stationary, Quizilla, left-handed or ambidextrous, feeling like any change is too much/too fast, going along with what the other person in a relationship wants even if it's not preferred (especially pacing?), could be a lot more dominant or self-assured than you appear, INxJ or ISxJ personality type, if you already felt drawn to pile 2 it may resonate

Specific message: I keep getting some of you drawing connections between yourself (especially your body) and what happens around you but not in a positive way—maybe you use this as reason to deny yourself. You might have masochistic habits & thoughts. You need to apply a continuous, conscious effort to curate your life and change those thought patterns. Take care of yourself and don’t try to carry the whole collective. It’s not a disservice to tend to yourself and let others work through their lessons and wants, everyone needs their own learning experiences. Go to doctors if you have health concerns; don’t draw random conclusions!

𓇼 °.𓇼 ..𓇼 °

Pile 2

[8 of Hearts rx, Temperance rx, Four of Swords, Going with the Flow, Success (clarified by Uruz), New Vision, Wheel of Fortune, the Emperor rx, the Moon]

Hi pile two! You excel at emotional transmutation, taking upsetting or imbalanced circumstances and transforming them. This returns you to a more stable state and fuels manifestation. Though all imbalanced things must eventually return to another state, you speed up this process through will & determination. I don’t get that you’re very spiteful but the energy is similar—the brute force of doing something just because you can. You take what would be major roadblocks or letdowns and use them as a drive forward. You might appear naive, flighty, or like you have unrealistic dreams, but then shock people when you do what you said you would or get where you said you’d be. This is not to say you don’t experience disappointment or low moods, but they energetically move you. You may be motivated by your loved ones’ wishes or moods too. There’s a “fake it til’ you make it” vibe; in day to day as well as manifesting. However, Temperance rx indicates an imbalanced approach. I see you giving 95% of whatever effort or thought you need to put in, riding on the motivation of it being a new idea or wanting to see if you can do it. Afterwards, you may quickly lose interest or move to something else, letting it come to fruition with the initial effort. You may get re-interested and return little by little over a long period, but I feel you put in big bursts of energy rather than a steady amount over a long time. This can cause random timing, some things happening very quickly and others taking years and years—you may forget you were supposed to be working towards something until years later. Others see the surface level of this, getting randomly interested and dropping things, and don’t see how loose ends get tied up over time. This is why you may have that surprising effect. I also pick up lighthearted energy when approaching challenges, which helps you to tap into emotional alchemy. That doesn’t have to be being sad and writing a song about it or something. It’s more about how energy produced by emotional movement keeps you going—literally you have “going with the flow.” Instead of sitting in one thing too long and anchoring yourself to that, you have a deeper sense of self, not needing to attach to one state or idea. However, you may be used to things finding a way to work out, so things that ask for a more continuous effort may get to you. Remember to return to your fluid nature if you find yourself obsessing; you just need to shift your mindset and approach. Especially if you only tried spiritual manifestation methods, as you may default to those and feel like you can’t go do something for some reason? Ask yourself what’s the unfulfilled need that’s making you hound over one thing; how can you provide for that need? If you have physical restrictions then you need creative methods when you feel trapped, such as online resources, or I see you mailing something.

Success as your center card? More likely than you think! Many figures in your cards are look upwards. There’s also angels and a monk. A major factor in your approach & manifestations may be belief placed in a higher power (or yourself/life, if you don't believe in one). I’m not getting very traditionally religious but a personal inner knowing. You may pray a little bit, though I feel like this pile generally likes to do it themselves. These cards reiterate the message about things returning to equilibrium. This is also a present message. If you’ve been experiencing a lot of little challenges—but you’ve continued to work with your shadow & perspective, you may soon embody a celebratory energy. However, returning to 0 applies to high points also. Make the most of times you like because these too eventually shift. Knowing this makes the dance smoother. You may feel like you’re going along with this energy rather than it coming from you. The metaphor I think of is a parade (that’s what’s on this success card) or being at someone’s party. Like the vibes around you are temporary but you enjoy the ride. For some there may be a specific person or group who will be riding out this energy with you (or you with them). In terms of overall manifestation, your cards suggest success with whatever approaches you use to bring your interests to reality. It may not be perfect but it’s suited to you, because you acknowledge your changing mind, emotions, and self. It’s hard to completely trap you in an energy because you don’t hold yourself to who you were 2 minutes ago. You may switch between physically working on goals and letting your faith do some things. You’re like a cheetah using its tail to stay on target during a chase—even if you have to change your approach or yourself you do it almost without thinking. Some of you recognize this but struggle with manifestation; there may be a disconnect with the constant shifts you go through, whether that’s in identifying your moods, or a need to develop grounding habits to cope with changes.

I know this is a controversial phrase, but this pile takes “delulu is the solulu” as a life approach. Law of assumption could be relevant, or other manifesting methods where you feel the wish fulfilled. You keep it pushing regardless of what’s physically in front of you. You find little point in focusing on what is/was for too long and would rather find joy in your wildest dreams. For example, even if you didn’t get into the school or job you wanted at first you may continue to imagine what it would be like and just reapply. You could romanticize your life a lot, so you find some way to feel like you’re already living your best life. You may do this as a manifesting method, but it seems like who you are as a person.

A few of your cards were also in pile one’s reading (different decks). You don’t seem as averse to manifesting for yourselves, but if you were already drawn to that pile, some of it may be significant. It could also be relevant to someone you know or a different part of yourself (you have dual characteristics so maybe you embody this pile half the time and that pile the other half).

You have detached energy without purposefully detaching. You may hold the same goals for a long time even when it seems impossible, but you accept this and let time do its thing. You may really enjoy the mystery of “craving” something, the excitement and anticipation. Specific people here may have felt content with one-sided love or something similar without trying to go after the person or thing you loved? Seeing them or loving it was enough. You can appreciate the depth of desire as much as the satisfaction of getting the desire, very cool! This appreciation helps keep your wheel of fortune turning, like gratitude.

With the Uruz rune, something about you embodies manifestation itself? It’s like you understand the willpower and determination associated with manifesting, even against odds. You exercise this energy through acknowledging the process of manifesting— reality as it plays out, and not just the end story. Living is a success for you (?). Maybe something about your life is against the odds, maybe some of you are survivors? You have a very dynamic & active energy. You may struggle to tap into this all the time with chronic mental/physical health struggles, but you have a huge well of determination running under you even when not accessed.

Message [Curioser and Curioser, Riches (Saturn in Capricorn, 10th house), heart, bouquet]:

I got a lot of different potentialities so don’t force anything. The broadest explanation of what may be manifesting is your curious nature and willingness to live outside the box will have a good payoff. You kept questioning, researching, or engaging with something to learn more and now you’re making a discovery. This could also refer to choosing to follow along with something even though it’s not traditionally accepted. This may have been a long process or a struggle where you didn’t have a lot of support from those close. But, following your heart and continuing your pursuit of knowledge or skill—especially something unconventional or “never before done”—has culminated in something satisfactory. You may also receive something of physical value, especially through a relationship (not necessarily romantic, this could also be something like recognition at work or in a hobby, platonic gifts, even something from an institution like the local government?). An event that happened or will be happening at night is significant to this situation (or maybe you accomplish a lot at night).

Some of you have a connection to gaming. You could stream, work in game development, or may be playing a game that’s important to you. You may receive some kind of breakthrough in this area, have an idea for your game that really helps development, or if you’re playing something then you may have a breakthrough in the game lol. Especially if it’s a horror game.

Some of you are songwriters or another kind of writer. Many of you didn’t have family support on this but you may soon have an idea with a song or plot point. Or experience positive recognition for your work.

Tbh what came out here is freaky/18+ and I don’t wanna go there 😅 I will say if you’re in a relationship, you may soon learn more about your partner through intimacy; you may both open up to each other in a new way. Especially if this relationship is unconventional or very unique somehow, or if you were with this person out of curiosity? Maybe they were hesitant to talk about something important and you kept wanting to know more. You may enjoy a new activity with your partner you both like, maybe playing horror games or doing something with an adrenaline rush. If you’re not in a relationship, you may be receiving something heartfelt, important, or passionate. Or otherwise having a similar moment.

[CW traumatic event, family trauma] If something awful was done to you (especially by family) and you have been researching something regarding this, then some of you may find something that helps you better understand this event. Could be something that happened at night.

Extra Details: the scene where Patrick’s like “BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME TO!,” “THIS IS SPARTA!,” misunderstood as spiteful, upbeat or jokester, the tortoise and the hare (could embody both), talks or types in long sentences, S Asia, Non-traditional faith practice, making spirituality/religion contemporary, spiritual tattoos & art (especially Buddhist), stick-n-poke, blue & red tattoos, 2000s pop/internet culture, dualistic, yin & yang, Taoism, Libra (especially ascendant), retrograde natal planet in Libra/ Taurus/ Sagittarius (esp Mercury, Venus), trees, INxJ or ISxJ personality type, manifesting generator or reflector human design type, “if you don’t succeed try and try again,” “mind over matter,” relying on others physically, maybe you talk to your boss more than average or work closely with a supervisor, disabled, treated as naive. Office job with a lot of meetings or projects, development/tech/promotional work (your team may bring creativity to what the company does). May work with executives. Many of you seem indifferent or have a disconnect with the work environment. “Malcontent." Sonic, Gameboy, Undertale, 33, Cinderella especially the Grimm version, investigation about something that happened to you, work bonus, forbidden fruit—maybe a taboo or heavy relationship, some of you are restricted by family and your relationship rebels against that, or it’s helping heal inner child trauma. Some of you, for medical or cultural reasons your family has access to everything you do—even like a conservatorship. Be mindful of watchful eyes if so! Don’t get so excited you do something physically risky (having someone over when it’s likely to be caught, not using protection, etc) or let secrets slip. A relationship to the Earth, whether this is your mindset or being vegan/vegetarian, fruit gardeners? Could describe a partner. Night, esp late night is very significant. Lover with many earth placements, air mail, using physical activity to shift mood

𓇼 °.𓇼 ..𓇼 °

Pile 3

[Silence, Politics, Mind, Knight of swords rx, the Chariot rx, Page of Pentacles, King of Wands, 4 of cups, 5 of wands rx]

Hello pile three! Tapping into your inner self, your inner “silence” is very important for your manifesting, but this may have been a struggle. When I imagine your inner self I see a calm void. Like the vast emptiness of the universe. But, on the outside, there’s a persona you’ve defaulted to. This developed so you could maneuver your environment or handle trauma, but now it’s entangled in your sense of self. It makes me think of a computer program that doesn’t exist anymore. Like if you click on a shortcut to a program that was deleted or moved. There’s this disembodied or dissociative energy when it comes to external behavior, like you’re acting on muscle memory. You could suddenly realize you’ve been talking to someone for the past 12 minutes but have no idea what was being said, but almost every social interaction may feel like this. There may be some kind of mental block that stops you from looking deeper within, such as chaotic memories or thoughts. You may have convinced yourself you must be a certain way even though it doesn’t feel right. This may be a blockage with vulnerability. It’s like there’s your inner self, and this persona is one manifestation of your inner self, and the “inner silence” is another, but the former creates blockages to accessing the latter sometimes. You might feel like you need to protect the inner version of yourself or your pride with your persona, or like if you embody your inner self that it’ll be a disservice somehow.

First, this is not an uncommon experience; it’s just the realization that you’ve changed. The pattern continues because it’s an intricate web of learned behavior; it takes time to unthread. A serious reflection of whether your thoughts and actions align with you—and how you’ll respond if they don’t—may be necessary. I’m hearing even if you need to go one by one through a list of your thoughts to review them. Journaling may be helpful but meditation especially will be. Of course, seek medical advice if dissociation affects your functioning. Regardless, finding some way to tap into this inner void you’ve got inside is one key to your manifesting power. Detaching from the bells and whistles of your external “setup” and connecting more personally to oneness. It’s like you need or had to decondition things you’ve been taught or “trained” to do, especially by family. What does it mean to be connected to everything for you? There’s magic in the specific relationship you form with the universe. There’s a big emphasis on silence and stillness, as one might feel in a meditative state but also to emphasize that only by detaching from facades can you “hear” or feel you. Even if you’re not spiritual and do not do manifesting techniques, this process might ground you and help you find physical opportunities; you’ll more clearly see what’s available for you. Literally for some, someone may have offered you an opportunity but you rejected it because of external influence.

There’s energy that reminds me of ego death. That may be significant even if you’ve never experienced it. Your inner world embodies that vast feeling. Some of you feel strangely familiar with the concept, maybe you remember a feeling of oneness or no ego but don’t remember when or why? The detachment process I mentioned will help quiet your mind. I am not suggesting anyone try to experience ego death, btw.

Let go of managing others’ expectations. There’s this wealth of knowledge or “universal strength” you have just inside the door, but you can’t get fully inside because everyone is hovering on your porch and you’re too polite to tell them to leave lol. Activities that reconnect you with quiet solitude are important. You don’t have to become a loner, but whatever relationships you have require a lot of mental energy. There’s a recurring theme of juggling others’ emotions, desires, or strategizing to make it to the other side of a conversation. That is so draining. Sometimes this is the place you find yourself in and sometimes we have to do this to protect our wellbeing. However, there’s a lot of pouring into this external drain but not enough rejuvenation to return to yourself afterwards. I think your natural manifesting tendencies are simple and naturally reveal themselves as long as you have quiet space and time to decompress. That means lessening the space you give to these draining energies and creating more space for yourself. Especially if you feel like you’re going through a transformation, you may need more rest. I’m not sure if you feel others are blocking your path? This reconnection with yourself may help you feel better about that or be able to analyze the situation. I don’t think everyone in your world is a villain; I really didn’t pick up on malicious energy—though maybe what makes them draining is a lack of self awareness or a certain selfishness. But I do see there are external things that are good for you, maybe a genuine friend or someone similar, this could also be activities you truly like and not ones you do because others do them. You may need to really reflect on what these are as the person in this 4 of cups has their back turned to who’s trying to shield them. This could still represent your need to reconnect more to the true you and understand that inner you can protect itself without acts. Overall, there’s a need for things that bring out your underlying confidence. Focus on what brings you out of your head. Though meditation is a mental activity, again it’s very beneficial for this pile (or similar things where you let thoughts pass). You may be surprised by what all can manifest or be perceived in a new light without going out and changing everything around. You may feel like manifesting a better life is physically impossible or very challenging, but letting yourself just be while you explore this transformation can bring opportunities, or let you see ones already here. (Again, not sure but there’s an opportunity close or already presented to many of you). This may also discuss your relationship with yourself, maybe you feel like you have to fight a battle with yourself or have something to prove to yourself? Detach from “have to’s” and “what if’s.”

If you’ve tried thought-based manifestation techniques, you may prefer other methods while your thoughts clear. Maybe during or after meditation you can “listen” to what desires you have and separate these from old or external ones. Or, exert physical effort into what you want. Though, I do feel this period is more about relearning yourself rather than manifesting everything.

Message [A Moment’s Regret, Ostentation (Saturn in Taurus, 2nd house), Coffin, Man]:

This message is about the personality hurdles mentioned above, but another side. What I’m getting is most of you could compulsively act out old behaviors because there’s something you dislike about your present self. In your transformation, maybe you did something hurtful or regretful, and that has turned you off of exploring who your new self may be. Maybe there’s also an aspect of your lifestyle you want to bring forward but you’re unsure how to do it, or you don’t want to lose some of yourself. Either way, there’s some way you’re indulging in these behaviors, people, or places that no longer serve you, but it’s coming from a blurry perspective. While reading your cards I heard the word “integrate” a lot. If you did something you regret, you need to integrate those emotions into your conscious mind so you can purposefully choose how to interact with that part of yourself. Shying away from something internal will not make it go away. It’ll fester in your mind or subconsciously direct you. If you’re afraid you might do something you regret if you live as you are, you may need to integrate other lessons related to shame and lack of trust in oneself. Especially because whatever this is seems tied to your sense of security and self, whether that’s material resources or a more abstract fear regarding security. We all do things we regret. Being able to face and accept these parts of ourselves is crucial. This is a call for shadow work and reflection. It’s time to end the control these patterns have on you. Also no offense but as I read this I kept wanting to laugh for some reason. Whatever you’ve done that you'd rather not think about may feel very big because it’s steeped in emotion. But, from an outsider’s perspective, most of you have actually not done something so terrible that you need to hide away. I think in the future, you’ll look at it and be like no way this is what I was so caught up on. It’s like you’re despairing, slamming your fist on the floor and your guides/higher self are looking at you like “lol." I know it’s hard, but the laughter stood out to me, so maybe humor can help you integrate or when you finally do you’ll have a much different perspective on life. Either way, integration is important, and it can help you access your manifesting potential. Also, integrate hidden versions of yourself with your apparent personas.

Extra Details [alcohol/substance use, DUI mention]: peanut butter jelly, family w problematic beliefs, strict or conservative family, [name] Christina, tradition, really patriotic family/friends, regretting something you did to show off/out of spite/ because you could (for some, a friend got arrested because of a thing your group did?), family trauma or pressure, calculators, one close friend who understands you, lingering regret or shame, avoiding change to avoid the past, politics, period of regretful financial decisions, friendships built on falsities/ old versions of yourself, not trusting yourself with resources, fiery or “dynamic” personality in the past (to compensate?). Attack on Titan, pine trees, bullying, strained mother relationship, personality duality or two sides of you that seem irreconcilable, your friends may have helped you through times you felt less nurtured but now maybe your lifestyles are different, “wildcard” friends (never know what they’ll say or do), Jekyll and Hyde, partying, unsure when you should speak up, using friends’ transportation, blackouts, childhood friends (like infancy), zombies/zombie apocalypse (something about zombies at night idk what this is, I see Halloween costumes/makeup, or goofing around at night in creepy places. Or substances make you or someone else feel like a zombie), drunk walks, regretting old habits or things you did not sober (don’t DUI but if you did in the past, integrate it and move forward), morning-after debriefs, rich friends. Some of you had speech issues or didn’t talk a lot as a child—if so, inner child work is especially important; this part of yourself needs acknowledgment

𓇼 °.𓇼 ..𓇼 °

Pile 4

[the Moon rx, King of Wands, princess of hearts rx, 6 of swords, 3 of cups, 8 of pentacles, Harmony, Celebration, Exhaustion]

Hi pile 4! You’ve come out of a time where you were more in the dark, whether in direction or in regards to what you really wanted. This period was driven by emotion which was causing the confusion. You may not indulge your emotions as much now to retain a higher perspective. You’re not moving based on wanting something emotionally—it has to have another aspect to “justify” your attention. This is more from the cards than your energy so maybe this is a new way of living, maybe you don’t think about it too much, or maybe it’s shifting energy. This pile’s message seems relevant to this time of your life rather than in general. You’re focused on embodying this King of Wands energy—confidence & success, and your manifestation is focused on the self. If it’s not directly contributing to you, your growth, or a sense of accomplishment, you’re not really interested right now. It’s like focusing on leveling up rather than whims. That doesn’t mean you don’t want those things, but your energy is going elsewhere. This might also be because you're unsure what your emotional goals are, so you’re more focused on peace & smaller joys rather than large wants. You may not be focused on manifestation as a concept at all. I get the sense you’re going with the flow and adapting to life as it comes rather than doing a lot of specific manifestation practices. Maybe you’re not as focused on that as you used to be. If you’re still struggling in emotional confusion, focus on detachment and the self (more King of Wands energy) to connect with your manifesting abilities, and a joy of living.

You’re very connected to your subconscious right now, although you may not be consciously connected to some deeper emotions in your psyche (it’s like you're connected to yourself except this emotional ocean that’s on the backburner). This can show up as feeling guided towards certain things or pieces of information without knowing why. You may manifest information or insight easily, especially in regards to feelings or relationships. For example, you may manifest info to clarify strange feelings or “disordered thoughts” I hear (?) related to others (I’m mostly getting friends, so for example if you get a hunch that a friend is lying (by omission?), you might manifest clarity). This is also related to what I said about manifesting for the self. You may manifest a lot of self discovery at this time, or use your self knowledge to manifest other things. For example, you may realize some things you thought were “you” actually come from emotions or attachments. Or, doing emotional work could lead to a lot of discoveries, not only of yourself but also your perspective of the world. This actually might be a bit overwhelming right now, in which case meditation may help, or another practice that grounds your emotional body so feelings don’t crash through unexpectedly. I don’t get a lot of spiritual vibes, but the Moon [rx] always has a hint of that to me. Maybe most of you are not really spiritual or don’t work with intuition as a “gift,” but you have heightened awareness at this time. This may be why you’re manifesting clarity. Your feelings provide strings of thought to investigate, and the focus on this may manifest more ideas based on the original hunch. You could apply this to your professional life or whatever area you’re seeking success in. Random flashes of ideas may provide unconsidered paths to interesting outcomes. You do this more easily in your relationships, and maybe don’t notice your intuition in other places as much. But this isn't something you need to focus on if you don’t want to, especially as this pile is more in the energy of doing rather than being in the inner world where you've already spent a lot of time.

It’s interesting you got the 3 of cups as your center card and again you got another deck’s 3 of cups under it. There’s a sense of your reality being very focused on external factors right now. I feel like this represents a sense of support to lean on, whether this is social support or something else. There’s also something you’ve really poured yourself into recently. I’m not sure if this is your relationships or something separate, as I was getting something that feels like work but isn’t a job. This feels like a passion, hobby, niche, training for a career, or maybe just the amount of time you’ve poured into self discovery. Maybe the support you’ve found recently is related to this, like friends from a hobby. Either way, this is where your attention is going, so this is where many of your manifestations will be. If there’s something within this area that you'd like to bring to fruition, now would be a good time to set that intention. Visualizing before you get really focused or channeling determination into your new idea are examples of how you could apply this. Especially if you do something with your hands, like artistic crafts? What’s powerful is how you pour yourself into something functions like an acknowledgment and celebration of reality. When you become that focused (like making something, or training for something genuinely), the outside noise falls away and you pour into your will. You are literally creating—manifesting in real time. Recreating that concentration is very useful for manifesting other things. Also, incorporating more celebration & appreciation into your day will help you tap into that in a similar way—by being present. I feel like you’re already engaging in this appreciative energy, though maybe not consciously for some.

I’m getting a big message about what I said in the beginning, a time period where your emotions were confusing. For some this happened because you got hurt by friends or a partner (maybe they lied by not telling you something?). I keep hearing “blinding.” Your emotions were overwhelming at this time or you felt like you had the rug pulled from under you. To get through this, your focus shifted away from stronger emotions or previous hopes and more towards yourself + present reality. However, this is a transitory period. Like I mentioned, compared to other piles your analysis is more time specific, and this can also be seen in most of your cards being minor arcana. Being in touch with your emotions and heart is a big avenue for your manifestations. Right now is a time to gain your footing. But, eventually I see exhaustion from the amount of energy you’re pouring into balancing all these external things, and also from this emotional pain needing to be processed. At that point, it’s time to do some healing and shadow work so that you can integrate your emotions with the growth you’re doing right now. This will be a time of learning more about your emotions in relation to yourself with the new perspectives gained. For example, if you’re practicing confidence, maybe in the near future you'll to be confident even when anxious. If you’re learning independence, maybe you'll learn what healthy emotional independence looks like for you. Integrating these different parts will help you have a multifaceted manifesting ability, and also help with emotional stability. Your reality & manifesting habits may feel more concrete as your inner world becomes more “patched,” I hear.

Message [Law is Not Justice rx, Authority (Mars in Capricorn, 10th house), cross, fish]:

Your message is about commanding authority. Taking an unfair or crappy experience and deciding what you will do with it. By becoming the authority of yourself, you can take the unfair and make it fair. Not because you controlled others or changed their actions, but because you controlled your own perspective and turned what was once bad into something useful or good. And not because you need to feel good about it, but because authority transcends feeling. Instead of being controlled by the experience, you make the experience. I heard “rewriting” or “reframing the narrative.” We perceive stories by the way the narrator frames that experience. Know you are the narrator, not just a character in the story. This also applies to the characters. An “evil” character can become inconsequential or neutral if we remove the magnitude the narrative places on them, or tell the story from a different angle. That concept may have significance, even about yourself. You guys also have impending emotional work; maybe not part of this season but the next. The type of person you’re becoming is preparing you for the next season so that you’re better equipped to do that emotional analysis. It’s not that you can’t do shadow or emotional work now, that’s just not the main focus energetically.

The second part of this message is to say you’re already doing what you can to make the most of this, or you’re encouraged to try. If you've been embodying that wands energy by taking action, “owning” up to your behavior, and doing what you can to improve yourself, this definitely applies (or is a message to keep aiming for that). Yes, you've been through a tribulation that even now may seem unfeasible to get through, however this activated parts of yourself that allow for growth and success. Transmuting this pain into other energy, such as by pouring yourself into a craft, is not easy but you've been doing this all along. I feel something reminiscent of pride, but it seems to be directed at you rather than coming from you. So, I don’t know if this is your guides’ (I thought I picked up on them before)/higher self’s feelings, someone around you, my own congrats to you, or some other recognition, but you certainly have accomplishments to be proud of. Even surviving can be hard when you’re in the trenches but here you are doing it and then some! And I keep getting that you’re just doing it, you’re not even thinking about it in this way. It’s a lovely bravery to face life this way, so not only congrats to you, but know the more you transmute the old energy, the more abundance can become available. The cross is about difficulties, and the fish is about bounty, especially (but not only) materially. This is that preparation for the next season I was talking about, it is creating a cushioning, as well as endurance and victories you can rest on when you're revisiting some harder transmutations. I channeled a lot of this part; just know there’s a strong heartwarming sense of appreciation and pride for you from somewhere, whether that’s your spiritual team or maybe this is energy you can embody when you're having harder days. Keep going pile 4 pls 😁!!

Extra Details: pompompurin, flan, plushies (making plushies?). Interpreting dreams, blockage in expressing emotions (feeling your thoughts are too crazy or fragile to explain. Maybe it’s not possible to communicate, especially if not on speaking terms). Learning where you stand with others. I see an image of a wave crashing against rocks, an active/frothy ocean. That may be significant to your emotions; ground yourself and stay present as emotions bubble up. More younger people here like teens-22 year olds (just a specific detail. You might be feeling like you’ve just grown up or like you’re old? You’re not too old to accomplish something. Get creative with your resources/researching if you feel limited by age). Whatever you’re pouring yourself into seems fruitful! Tired of putting on a happy face, might see a lot of results from effort right now, fateful experience (such as a low period starting you on a better path), I channeled energy from pile 3 so if you already felt a pull it may resonate. Jester/fool, feeling goofy. Felt someone made a fool of you, or April Fools is significant. Joker card. Feeling like time is running out, fire mercury, fire or fire-earth heavy natal chart. Most recent mercury retrograde is significant. May have had car privileges taken as punishment. Or maybe there’s a current conflict about transportation, especially at work. I saw a bus or prison bus. Maybe some feel limited by a commute or there’s a link between punishment and someone’s ability to go places. Carpool, house arrest or someone brought to justice? If this is you, use your resources/be creative in how you can explore even if transportation is limited, especially online or through books. VHS, security and regular camera footage. Death penalty may be significant, working in law or transitioning into/out of law. I see someone going through these flame blowers idk if that’s relevant, maybe you're studying macabre topics such as death penalty/ torture, maybe you feel like you went through a trial by fire metaphorically, or watched something graphic (could also be flame effects at an event like a concert?). Caught on tape? There’s a link between a punishment and recorded media for some but I’m not sure what exactly, maybe even watching something as a punishment like at work or school (if this has no relevance don’t make it fit since I don’t even know lol). Processing a death from your past. Boss energy [you]

For those that believe in spirit guides: yours are coming through with happiness at your accomplishments & support for you, it’s a very strong message. Some of you are already entering that next period I mentioned, so you’re in or exiting celebration mode like one celebrates the harvest as part of prep for the next season. Congrats, even if you just survived!

𓇼 °.𓇼 ..𓇼 °

Pile 5

[8 of wands, page of wands, 8 of swords rx, 4 of wands, 4 of pentacles rx, 4 of cups, two of pentacles, the Hierophant, the Empress rx]

Hi pile five! A limitation (real or perceived) has been lifted, there’s been a perspective shift, or you’ve recently let go of something that was keeping you trapped. I got images of something being lifted away to reveal something new, someone coming out of the dark, or a cage. Now you’re excited to see what can be done with all this new energy. Though the magician hasn’t come out it reminds me of that energy, or like a kid in a candy shop. There’s innocent enthusiasm and fiery energy behind everything, or at least behind steps you take towards things you like. Even if you’re just planning or dreaming, I’m getting a sense of rejuvenation, like maybe you were not enthusiastic before but now there’s some excitement in possibilities. You’re encouraged to ride the wave of any extra energy you’re feeling, and especially use this time to build some dreams that you can act more on later. There’s also a sense of investigation or curiosity. Maybe part of this period is being interested in things you felt restricted from before, or looking into something that's piqued your curiosity. In general, your curiosity and ability to switch interest in many things can be a bonus to you when organized. Maybe this felt like some kind of fault, and now you’re encouraged to see how you can benefit from this fast-paced life, or this tendency to always move on to something else. If you do embody this, you may want to set smaller benchmarks for yourself. Manifesting is easier when you work with how you are vs how others seem to manifest. Setting a large, distant goal can make someone with a shifting life (some of you move a lot) or ideas feel bad about never reaching those , even though they operate fine from a short-term perspective. It’s not that you can’t have larger goals, but some of you need to focus on the rungs of the ladder you’re metaphorically climbing rather than just on what waits at the top. This fast-paced energy may also refer to this specific time in your life. What was lifted may actually be you. Some of you have this “up up & away” energy like stepping into an exciting era all of a sudden, and these themes are in the imagery of the cards.

This momentum you carry swinging between different interests is as I said beneficial when organized. “Cleaning” things out your energy can be very potent in inviting new things in, and you seem to be doing this energetically as you explore new things + leave the old behind. Starting new things at this time and then deciding which of those things you'd like to invest more in during the long term may be fruitful. I see you manifesting quickly when you let go of expectations & over-contemplation (“do I really want this, but what if I like this better, what if it’s all bad or I never get it…”) and embrace a whimsy for life.

Like pile 4, your message seems relevant to the current time rather than overall. For some of you this new energy is overwhelming a bit. Maybe there's so many possibilities you’re not sure what to focus on, or maybe there’s a choice that has a lot of different options. Especially if you’re weighing your family or home life into the decision, or making a choice for yourself compared to making one for the family (was this what was trapping some of you?). It might feel like you wanted this for a long time and now that it’s more reachable you’re like well now what. Right now, what brings you joy and keeps your interest alive is a good place to return to. If you're struggling in choosing things to go for or knowing how exactly you want to polish these, return to that which makes YOU feel excited or satisfied. Focusing on that is like a resting point from which you can plan other things.

You may have struggled with knowing when to act. Maybe you read a lot of teachings on manifestation about action being unnecessary, or you were in a mental place where it was difficult to balance different sides of yourself, such as the desire to act with a desire to be faithful to your wishes. But again, I think this is about finding the right way to manifest for you. When you let go of wanting to wait for something or wanting to act/not act, and simply do and be according to how your inner self guides you, you’ll experience more stability that’s not based in the external world but something deeper. To let go of expectations is a repeating theme, letting go of how you think you should be doing things or how things should be, and simply being true to what you're feeling. Especially if you live a fast-paced life, it’s important to go with the flow instead of creating artificial rigidity or a false sense of control. When you accept your changeability, you may be able to manifest with more ease/speed (but again, the enjoyment or appreciation is also the point and not just the end). This is especially true for those that have this struggle because of teachings or expectations from family or from a sense of “tradition” & “propriety.”

With the entire center row being 4s, there's huge stability or rest available. But, I keep getting a sense of it not being immediately accessed by you. Like when you can trust yourself, you throw yourself back into a loop of thoughts and never let yourself feel calm or stillness, and this can bleed into your manifestations or goals. Some of you do this like self punishment, or because you don’t feel like you can let yourself be calm and collected? Or due to fear about your desires. You give and take away from yourself, you constantly shove something in your face to ruminate on or be in a loop about. Some of you left this energy but maybe it’s a continuous struggle, and for many this comes from how your parents interacted with you. If your parents always shoved something in your face to do or critique, or never let you feel assured, you may be repeating this in your internal monologue. It’s like you’re standing on the precipice of peace and your mind is like BUT WAIT! If you struggle with anxiety or obsessive thoughts then I encourage using mental health resources available to you, but for many this is about catching the pattern in the moment and deciding to be present to what’s in front of you.

Message [Such a Curious Dream, Quarrel, lily, garden, Uruz]:

I originally wrote this in the details but it came out as your message. Something about an argument between this pile and another keeps popping up. Maybe some of you wanted this, like manifesting a needed disagreement. There's a strong message about staying calm or walking away if needed. It’s not about whether it’s right or wrong to argue, but staying level-headed is much more important. Something to do with your image, reputation, or maturity, values. There’s possibly someone in the vicinity or related to this that you would not want to see you “blow up” or stoop low. There’s some kind of public aspect, whether it happens in public or others hear of it (for some this is a place of worship or about beliefs). Or, that could be a reminder you don’t have to engage if you don’t want to—you can go elsewhere. This could show yourself you can take confrontation in a dignified way, if you’ve had trouble with that. Someone/ something may try to get a reaction or do something that makes you irate; breathe! Even if you’re right, unbridled emotion takes our ability to make good decisions and say what we need to; it’s about retaining control even when a nerve is hit. It reminds me of that meme where the guy is yelling with a tiny brain and the other one is like :), big brained lol. For some, this could be run of the mill with your job and you may need to stop yourself from going ham on a customer or manager if you’ve been snapping. Don’t do things that could get law enforcement called on you, like putting hands on someone first. Not saying you can’t argue or defend yourself, but don’t do things you’ll need to clean up later. Sometimes our emotional response comes from an automatic or unconscious place, but being present and grounded will make you aware as it happens. Focus on yourself, not on trying to keep up with the argument.

Extra Details [TW burn mention]: “euphemism”, cafes (I see someone throwing a hot drink, so sorry if that happened! Or maybe there are burn patients?), Crime and Punishment, yellow & black butterflies, felt you can’t build certain things in your life because you move/ travel a lot, 4/44/444 & 8, I’m not getting black sheep energy but you may be one to do things differently in your family or to shed old beliefs (example, maybe your family believes women don’t do certain things but you’re deciding this isn’t true for you), modest or religious attire (is this what some of you are deciding on?), a family that could've been more supportive (or maybe you struggle to identify toxicity in your family because they’re usually nice or helpful), suddenly leaving home/workplace or having a major perspective shift on these, sudden/quick heated convo especially over text (esp if you’re disagreeing, or separating from family/a job?). Being reprimanded over something you wrote (already happened)? Quitting/ being fired (already happened) or maybe a dispute that happened at a public place/work, Patrick Star lol? (that ep where Squidward hires him for the fancy Krusty Krab), healing oneself through confrontation or facing unpleasant events, bravery, mind over matter. I got a lot about religion and spirituality at the end so those may have more focus, if you already felt drawn to pile 2 it may resonate

𓇼 °.𓇼 ..𓇼 °

Pile 6

[Ace of wands, King of Pentacles, Five of Pentacles rx, Innocence, Clinging to the Past (clarified by Eihwaz), Celebration, Queen of Pentacles, 6 of wands, The Sun]

Hi pile six! You have a knack for manifesting material and creative success. With the ace of wands mirroring the Sun, you have a well of good ideas or opportunities—especially for business with these pentacles. It’s like you’ve retained a level of creativity or ingenuity that many struggle with once they get older.This may also be the better part of naivety: you’re able to bring amazing things into reality because you’re able to dream and believe instead of being limited by others’ faith. If there’s one idea or “mission” in particular that drives you, this passion is especially great for your manifestations. I also see your inner need to feel secure or establish something real for yourself does the same, especially if you once experienced more destitute times. You may have already focused on manifesting inner stability or improvement, and now there’s more focus towards manifesting this in your material world. This Sun card in particular emphasizes how great things coincide with a little darkness, and with the five of pentacles rx mirroring the ace of wands I would say that’s an important theme for you. This pile has the ability to transmute harsher lessons back into great ideas or new paths. That’s not to say you don’t struggle, but this is natural fuel for your creativity and brainstorming. A specific message for some is you may be struggling with shedding an ingrained or familial belief, especially but not only about money? You may have been taught limiting or negative beliefs regarding prosperity and you’re grappling with whether you should keep internalizing this because it seems realistic/someone you value taught you this, or if you should be true to what you believe. It’s important to return to who you are regardless of the circumstances. Everyone must come to their own understandings; trying to be true to someone else’s reality makes you disconnected from your own. Tradition for tradition’s sake does not create growth or new stories. Pessimism is also not inherently more realistic or mature than optimism. For many of you, optimism helps you manifest, so don’t feel like this is something childish or a hindrance even if others are more pessimistic.

What sticks out is you have an amazing spread of cards that indicate ideas/opportunities, internal and external security, all around happiness and success. The Sun even came out twice; “Innocence” is another version of the Sun. But your center card is not as positive, comparable to the 5 of cups, and this “celebration” also came out in reverse initially (but I don’t usually read this deck reversed). I’m not sure if you guys are going through a hard time with past hurts or a loss right now, but the person in this center card can’t “see” the other good cards in the spread; their vision is completely blocked by the past. Trauma or pain is making it harder for you to connect with the good within and around you. This could also be old perspectives or emotions. Some of this may be purposeful, you may be staying in the past intentionally or holding onto things in a detrimental way (especially with family/home, spite/bitterness/grief? For some there’s something you physically don’t want to let go of, or you’re romanticizing something, and somebody needs to hear you’re not betraying anyone by continuing to live your life after loss). There’s a deep want for your positive qualities to be recognized (by yourself or others) despite this potentially being blocked by current emotional struggles. I feel if you focus on building this appreciation of your natural worth and talents, you’ll be able to ground yourself again. The good things around and within you are so blaring that I think even a small perspective shift will help you tap back into your potential. Even though there’s something about the past holding you, returning to your roots in a different way may be beneficial. Finding positive or healthy things about the past to comfort you rather than things which keep you in painful memories. For example, you may need to incorporate more playfulness into your lifestyle like child-you would have, or you may need to reconnect to that child-like perspective of the world. If there’s something you really wanted when you were younger or would have made you feel secure, see how you can fulfill that feeling for adult you. Maybe there was an idea that seemed impractical as a kid, but now you have the knowledge to develop it differently. If you’ve been having a hard time with loss, you may need to revisit activities or memories of good times rather than the loss itself. Basically, your feeling, nostalgia, or desire for things to be a certain way are not necessarily an issue, you just need to focus these energies into something material or an idea you can work on. A passion or certain view of the world from earlier in your studies/career could also be helpful to your manifesting right now.

Having fun and letting loose with others can also help you tap back into your manifesting potential, especially if it was people who upset you in the first place. For some, if there’s a set of people from earlier in your life that you still have a positive connection to, spending time with them may be good. It’s important to make an honest distinction between those you have a decent relationship with and those who you wish to have a relationship with but are not a positive influence on your life right now. This doesn’t have to be with others, though. Even just doing something by yourself that grounds you or makes you focus on positive emotions for a small time will be helpful. Something that connects you to your body or the physical world may be good (such as hanging out somewhere outside the home, dancing, playing games (like at an arcade/shop?), being in the sunshine, I am getting night out vibes but during the day). Cleaning may also clear stagnant energy (especially going through and organizing items from the past).

Message [All Must Have Prizes, Resistance (Taurus in Mercury, 2nd H), book, ship]:

Your message is mostly reiterating what I mentioned above. There’s this sense of life or something pulling you forward, but it’s like you don’t want to leave something in the past or you feel duty-bound to something. I feel you’re aware of this, and some of you may be actively resisting moving forward or making a final decision about moving on, especially because it may involve family or long-standing relationships. But movement is inevitable, you can slow down but never stop in life, even if you stop looking at the progression. It’s time to make peace with these things so you can move forward as your own choice instead of being dragged forward. You don’t have to perfectly master your emotions/grief, nor do you have to find a perfect conclusion that suits everyone. You either already have the knowledge and skills you need to keep going or its within your grasp. This may manifest as a lightbulb moment or acceptance for you. Especially if you've been hesitating because you’re trying to please or consider everyone in your life plans, you may soon reach a point where you don’t wish to do this anymore. Basically, a mental connection will be made that returns you to the present or your path (but the quality of this experience depends on the effort you put into yourself/your life).

Specific messages: if you've been waiting on some info regarding travel/moving, or you're hesitating on this, then you may receive that info or realization that makes the final decisions for these plans possible. If you've been having a lot of disagreements or long conversations in regards to financial/career plans (such as family trying to persuade you to a specific route), then realizations you have may be tied to this and self-acceptance of what you want.

Extra Details: I’m seeing an empty house or property, a home or neighborhood built a very long time ago maybe 150+ years, old yellowed family photographs especially wedding or new home photos, cassettes, bright-colored eyes. Dancing (maybe dance classes or going somewhere you can let loose physically would be good? I am seeing disco or 70s/80s vibes, dressing up in a way that’s fun to you may also be helpful), or if not dancing connecting with a hobby or physical activity you can really get into may be good (like a wreck room?), feeling blocked/stagnant in grief, going through old conversations or writings (may be old letters or notes), realizing you have different views than someone you care about, tropical locations, orange/gold (also orange fruit/tree), people who meant well but planted limiting/fear-based/toxic beliefs in you, Cinderella or maybe there’s a moment where you’ll feel like you’re going to the ball metaphorically, luxury or bright-colored cars (especially red/orange? I hear Mustang), renting cars or other things for trips, delayed plans suddenly moving, going through a passed loved one’s things, networking, an event that’s not really fancy but means a lot to you, or alternatively you may switch between a casual to fancy vibe on an upcoming day out/event or dress casually to a fancy event, day at the beach, heavy Taurus placements

𓇼 °.𓇼 ..𓇼 °

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ozwriterchick · 3 months

Text

Spencer Reid fic...

A/Note: This is my first Spencer Reid fic so please be kind. This fic is thanks to @navybrat817 who convinced me to give it a go when I had no faith in being able to write this loveable character.

Characters: Spencer Reid, Other BAU team members; Reader (1 mention of Y/N)

CW: Secret relationship; a bit of angst but not much; some fluff; happy ending; Spencer being a forgetful genius (yes, he's a warning); If i missed anything, let me know

W/C: Approx 2080

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

“Spence, you promised.” You sighed. This was not the start to your morning you had expected.

Your fiancée, Dr Spencer Reid, lifted his head from his breakfast reading material with a confused look on his face. He might be a genius with an eidetic memory and one of the main players in the FBI’s famed Behavioural Analysis Unit at Quantico, but he seemed to easily forget the most basic things.

His confusion only lasted until he saw the stack of envelopes in your hand. “I was supposed to send those, wasn’t I?” he asked.

“They were supposed to go out a week ago Spencer. The RSVP date is next week!” you reiterated.

“I’m sorry Maat, I’ll send them today.”

You blushed, after all this time, the pet name he gave you when he found out your job and obsession still works on you.

On your 2nd date, Spencer asked what you do for a living. This led to a deep discussion about your work as a librarian at the Smithsonian and your overpowering obsession with all things ancient history. In particular, the gods and goddesses of ancient Egypt, Rome & Greece.

His question of which were your favourites didn’t take long for you to answer.

“Well,” you began “My favourite god is Anubis. He’s the jackal-headed god of the Egyptian Afterlife and mummification and that kind of thing. Without Anubis, none of the Pharaohs could enter the eternal afterlife. He weighed their souls and guided the dead, rich and poor, into the Afterlife.” You realised he’d gone silent and that maybe you’d just word vomited at him and had probably said Afterlife way too many times. You hoped you hadn’t scared him off.

You looked up at him and opened your mouth to apologize, when you saw such a look of awe on his face that you hadn’t seen on a date in a long time, well if you’re being honest, you’ve probably never seen it. He’d tell you on the day he proposed that his is when he fell in love with you. When he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you.

You then, in much fewer words, told him your favourite goddess was Gaia, the Greek goddess of the Earth.

Spencer resolved, at that moment, to read everything he could about these gods and goddesses so he could converse knowledgeably with you.

After he'd done his research, which involved speed reading everything he could find, he decided you were his Maat. Maat is the goddess of Justice, Harmony and Balance. When he called you this for the first time, you asked why. He simply replied that you bring Harmony and Balance are what you bring to his life, it’s what you are for him.

“You’re probably best giving the ones out at work you know, you see them every day.”

He looked at you hesitantly.

“Or are you still not wanting them to know about me?”

This was a small point of contention in your relationship. Early on, you understood Spencer wanting to keep you safe from the pitfalls of his job. However, now you are engaged, you thought he’d bring you into that part of his life more.

You know he wants the team, as his pseudo-family, at the wedding, but achieving that would involve actually telling them about you.

Suddenly a plan formed in your brain. You were glad Spencer’s attention had returned to his breakfast and reading material and he wasn’t looking directly at you, so he didn’t catch on that you were plotting something.

“No, I promise you it’s not that. There’s just so many important things running through my head at any one time. I just forgot.”

“Oh, more important than marrying me?” you enquired, a little bit jokingly but also, a little bit seriously.

“Don’t be like that my love, you know that’s not it at all. I love you so much, I can’t believe I’m the lucky guy that gets to call you my wife soon.”

“I know, it’s just sometimes, I wonder.”

“Well, don’t. Give them to me, I’ll put them in my satchel now and in the post box on my way to work.”

“Nope, I’m going to send them. At least that way I know they’re gone and you’re not trying to stall this wedding.”

“Sweetheart” he began, “I’m not stalling. But if it makes you feel better, then go for it. At least give me the ones for the team and I’ll give them out today when I get to the office.”

You filtered out the invites for his team, handing them to him and putting the rest in your bag.

A few minutes later, as he was leaving for work, you gave him a quick peck on the cheek, reminding him that it was his turn to cook tonight. You smile at the roll of his eyes, he’s not a bad cook but you can guarantee it will be takeout tonight.

You rang Spencer on your lunch break. He usually took lunch around the same time of day as you, so you knew you could have a conversation without issues of people being around or listening in. This happened most days he was working in the Quantico office.

During the call, you asked him how his team had reacted to the invitations. You were pretty confident he hadn’t given them out yet and this was all part of the plan.

After he left this morning, you noticed he had, once again, left the envelopes on the kitchen table, forgetting to put them in his satchel. You knew he hadn’t given them out because he couldn’t, but that also means he hadn’t even tried yet.

“Oh, I haven’t had a chance to give them out yet because…”

“Spencer Walter Reid, I am sensing more and more that there’s something else going on. If you want to postpone, or cancel, this wedding, you better tell me know.”

Spencer couldn’t believe you would think that, more importantly, he couldn’t believe he’d made you think that. He knew what the fallout could be of everyone knowing about you and he was just hesitant about that.

"Maat, my love, I’ve never once been hesitant or unsure about marrying you. It is a big thing, everyone knowing about you, putting you in the line of fire, as it were. It’s just that massive change that is making me nervous. Not you. Not getting married, Never that.”

You sighed loudly. “I believe you Spencer, I just need you to back it up with actions love. Just promise me they’ll all have their invitations by the end of the day?”

“I promise you, I will give them out today.”

About an hour later, you walked up to the Quantico building asking for SSA Aaron Hotchner, with the envelopes in your bag. You’d mailed the rest of them, or given them out at your work this morning.

Aaron came down and confirmed your security clearance with the front desk and asked why you didn’t just let Spencer know. You told him that you’d been waiting on Spencer to give out some invitations and he kept forgetting them so you figured you’d have to do it yourself if you wanted it done, and probably as a surprise.

You hesitated when the lift doors opened on their floor. Were you doing the right thing forcing this to happen? You didn’t want to irrevocably damage your relationship with Spencer by forcing the meet and greet with the rest of Spencer’s team.

You stepped to the side so that you couldn’t be seen from inside their offices. “Is this wrong Aaron?” you asked him. “Maybe I should just take them home and not force this meeting.”

“Listen, you know Spencer loves you, we both know he wants this, but I get why he’s hesitant about, well, sharing you with the team. Sometimes I wonder, if Hayley hadn’t been exposed to this..”

“Hotch, Spence told me all about what happened, it wasn’t your fault. I just don’t want to make him angry by forcing the team to meet me, but we are fast approaching the rsvp deadline for this wedding.”

“Do you want me to send him out here. I really think he’ll be ok with whatever you do.”

“No, let’s do this….” You explain your plan to Hotch who grins like he’s masterminded the whole thing with you.

Hotch opens the door to the BAU offices and walks in with you beside him. You can’t believe this is the first time you are seeing where Spencer works. Of course you see the back of his head because his desk kind of faces away from the main doors. He looks like he’s deeply concentrating on whatever it is that he is reading.

Some of the team members are milling around one of the desks and when you walk in with Hotch they look up to greet him and you see the startled looks on their faces. They all looked at each other, then back at you and Hotch, waiting for someone to say something.

“Mornin’ Hotch” said the one you pretty much knew to be Derek Morgan. From Spencer’s detailed descriptions of each person, you were confident you knew who each person was in the group. “New team member?”

“No Derek.” Hotch replied.

“Well then hello gorgeous Mama” he grabbed your hand to shake it and lifted it to his lips to give you a kiss.

You could see Spencer out of the corner of your eye and he was just working out that a conversation was going on without him that maybe he wanted to be a part of. You saw him turn around and realise who it was with Hotch. The look he gave you was both priceless and stunned at the same time. You could clearly see the confusion on his face as to why you were there.

He stood up hesitantly raising his eyebrows at you. You gave him a small smile so as not to give anything away.

“Well, I have some invitations for you lovely people to an upcoming event that you might want to attend. So I came to give them out because my.. ummm.. assistant” you said pinning Spencer with a glare, that none of the team seemed to catch. “Kept forgetting to post them.”

Spencer heard what you said and his brain was even more confused. How could you have the invitations, he’d brought them with him that morning. He lifted his satchel and opened it, realising he had, once again, left them at home. He looked up at you, suitably apologetic in his glance and then put his head down, got up from his chair and made his way over to the rest of the group as you gave out the envelopes.

“Wait, you forgot Spencer.” Said the one you knew to be JJ. A sort of best friend to Spencer, who you felt might be the one who felt the most betrayed that he hadn’t told her about you.

“Oh I didn’t forget Spencer” you said. “But maybe you should open the envelopes and you might see why.”

One by one the envelopes were opened and the shocked looks on their faces said it all, as they read:

‘You are cordially invited to the wedding of Y/n Y/l/n and Spencer Reid’

Derek turned to Spencer “Pretty Boy, you dirty dog. You’ve been gatekeeping this gorgeous woman for how long?”

Spencer walked over to you, put his arm around your waist and replied “Oh, for about 3 years now” he happily turned and gave you a peck on the cheek.

“And you’re getting married? Spencer, why didn’t you say anything” asked Garcia.

“And why are we only just now meeting her?” JJ again.

“Well, you know with everything, Spence thought it would help keep my safe if as few people as necessary knew about me but, as you can see from those invitations, we’re fast coming up on a certain day that you guys can’t miss. Please say you’ll all come. We would so love to have you there and I’d love to get to know all of you better.”

There was a chorus of yes, and of course, and Derek even put in a “try and keep me away”

You were so happy that this had gone well and that Spencer didn’t seem angry at all and that all of his work colleagues really wanted to know you and help celebrate your wedding in a few weeks.

Taglist: @wolfbeanpotion

Let me know if you want to be added.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #criminal minds #secret relationship #ozwriterchick

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umeumeumee · 27 days

Note

Hi! for your event, can I do something w midoriya where you make wishes on eyelashes that leads to a confession? tysm!

making wishes on eyelashes

a/n: OMG! this is such a cute request! i’m sorry i couldn’t really do it justice! i have writers block so bad right now!!(｡•́︿•̀｡) (also; i got your other request that added to this abt him being flustered, but i didn’t add it to this post, but it’s in the fic<3) not proof read!!

prompt: wishes on eyelashes

It was a sunny monday morning at the U.A dorms. students fled into the morning hall for breakfast and such, school uniforms done perfectly in preparation for the first school day of the week.

Groans and laughter could be heard through the halls as they slung their bags over their shoulders and walked out of the dormitory building, the chilly morning air of Musutafu nipped at their noses, and traced a chilly finger down their spine.

you walked out of the building a little late, your shoe laces were more messy than your hair, and you hurriedly fixed up your face and messily pushed your school bag high enough over your shoulder to the point you hoped it wouldn’t fall off. you tried to keep up with your class, but you weren’t a morning person, and one stretch and a yawn you were already done for the day.

the pocket mirror you had in your skirt was something you were grateful for; allowing you to apply your lipgloss and mascara as a last step of your routine you didn’t get to finish when you were startled awake by a few harsh bangs on your door and the hollering of your friends for you to wake up.

with a hefty sigh, you stuffed your makeup and mirror back into your uniforms pockets and walked far off from your class, too tried to jog enough to catch up.

It was early february, and the winter cold nipped your skin, thought the slight pain was quickly flushed away by the vibrant beauty of the pink cherry blossoms that fluttered off their perch and littered the ground in the path to U.A.

you slowly became more awake as you walked, admiring the pretty pink petals as they passed through the breeze. They bloomed rather early this year, and it was a sign of good fortune. Hopefully you’d get good grades as a result.

too caught up in your thoughts, you hadn’t noticed the figure vigorously writing who-know-what in his notebook— until you’d collided with his back.

a soft huff of air left you when the two of your bodies suddenly collided, and you stepped back to look at the figure who was now, quite literally flipping out.

You looked up and met the panicked eyes your green haired classmate, Midoriya Izuku, who’s face was just as pink as the cherry blossoms in his hair.

In his hand he held one of his notebooks, and it read vol. 15, so it led you to wonder if it was one of those hero analysis books he wrote in.

You smiled a little when you saw him fluster, and a bow profusely and spew unnecessary apologetic words. when he finally looked back up and raised his head from his bow; you only kept the smile.

“You apologize too much, Midoriya-kun.” You smiled, “It was my fault.”

he basically lost it at that, shaking his head and waving his hands— was he okay?

“N-no! no! it was my fault, r-really! I was too occupied— it’s not your fault— i-i’m so sorry!” he covered his face with his hands in embarrassment, and you’d wondered if it was a crime to be as cute as he was.

a small huff of air left your mouth once again, but this time it was in form of a small, amused laugh. “It’s not,” you assured, sending a quick close eyed smile. “and, what are you writing, anyways?” you wondered aloud, and he peaked his eye through his fingers before pulling away, his face still flushed a deep pink.

“o-oh—!” he squeaked out, and cleared his throat in embarrassment. “Nothing.. r-really,” he said, and held his book stiffly by his side.

you nodded, with a hum. “you’re headed to class then?” i asked, “it’s already 8:12, i wouldn’t want to be scolded by Iida-kun,” i chided with a small chuckle “do you want to walk together?”

his jaw basically hit the floor at that, and he was positively shaking now. why? you didn’t know. it was cute, though.

you waited patiently for his response, and your gaze flickered across his rosy face, and your smile spread wider with the awkward, timid nod of his head in agreement.

the two of you started walking, and you were close enough that your shoulders brushed— you swore you heard his gasp when they did, but you decided not to say anything. He was already quivering.

the sound of both of your footsteps on the concrete and the soft swoosh of the blossoms on the trees would you was the only available sound, aside from the thoughts in your head and the thoughts in midoriya’s. You wondered what he was thinking.

You spared a quick glance his way, his face was red and sweaty, he looked almost sick. He was quivering— was he sick? you were going to ask, when a small sight caught your eye.

a warm smile kissed your lips, “ah.. Midoriya-kun,” you called softly from beside him, as you stopped walking. He jumped from his skin, even though he’s beside you, and turned to face you.

“You have an eyelash on your cheek.” You revealed, and he looked confused for a moment before a pink flush of embarrassment appeared on his cheeks, and he raised his hand to try and get it. without mirror, it was going in blind. you watched for a while with a small, amused smile, before stepping a little closer.

you saw his eyes widen, and you weren’t sure why. “I’ll get it,” you spoke softly, and his face absolutely exploded into every possible shade of red, and sweat. He tried to speak, to deny— but all that left his mouth was a squeak. He was a mess.

you stepped a little closer, your face a few inches from his. you could hear his labored breathing, you could feel the warmth of his face. you raised a hand up, and your nails gently plucked the eyelash of the burning skin of his pink cheek, and held it up for him to look at. His eyes weren’t sure where to look, and he was nervously darting them everywhere but your face. it was cute.

you held up the eyelash, with a small smile. “Now, you have to make a wish.” you conducted, and he swallowed harshly when his eyes flickered to the eyelash of his that rested in your hand.

“a—a wish?” he asked, and his voice cracked. He looked at you for a second before quickly looking away.

“that’s right,” you nodded, and then reached down to take his hand. He turned red once again, his breath caught in his throat when your hand met his. He was slightly shaking, and once again you decided to not comment on it. You gently placed the eyelash in the sweaty palm of his hand.

“you blow it out and make your wish.” you instructed, holding his hand in yours as you both looked at the eyelash. He shuddered and sweat, his face beat red and shy, and you raised his hand up to level up by both your faces.

He was didn’t move for a while, awkward and quivering, before he hesitantly blew the eyelash off, and it caught into the breeze and quickly vanished into the morning air.

you smiled softly as it happened, and izuku quickly let his eyes roam your face for a moment before he blew flame again at the realization that his hand was still in yours.

“what did you wish for?” you asked him, looking back to his flushed face, his hand still shaking a little in your grip. He opened his mouth a few times before closing it, unsure of what to say. “I-i-i.. don’t know..” he breathed out, breathless.

you smiled, and gently held his hand a little tighter. “Midoriya-kun,” you said softly, and tried to catch his flustered gaze.

“Can i tell you something?” you asked him, and watched as he timidly nodded. you stepped a little closer, watching his flushed expression and shy eyes, looking to the cherry blossom petals in his hair, and his uniforms tie that always looks funny.

Slowly, you gently placed a soft kiss to his cheek, causing him to freeze, in disbelief, and his face blew red once again, and he looked at you with wide eyes when you finally spoke.

“I really like you.”

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uyuforu · 9 months

Note

Hii, how are you doing? I'm loving your astrological interpretations! could you tell us how do you interprete degrees? thank you ^^

Hello! Thank you very much!^^

About degrees. I like to take degrees as "keywords" that can be added as details. It always add details.

Aries (1°, 13°, 25°): fights, war, not giving up, taking action, struggles, abuse, labor, leadership and leader spirit, beginnings, anger, etc.

Taurus (2°, 14°, 26°): money, food, luxury, chilling, the earth, nature, simple life, stability, voice, singing, seducing, etc.

Gemini (3°, 15°, 27°): voice, communication, speaking, languages, new technologies, phones, self-expression, books, learning, being curious, gossips, siblings, neighborhood, humor, witty, smart etc.

Cancer (4°, 16°, 28°): home, mother, nurturing, babies, pregnancy, feminine energy, moon, emotions, traditions, loyalty, food, faith, water, etc.

Leo (5°, 17°, 29°): fame, celebrity, shining, being the center of attention, life of the party, having fun, children, inner child, light, creativity, imagination, laugh, royalty, entertainment, hair, strength, natural leader, easily getting noticed for... etc.

Virgo (6°, 18°): perfectionnist, hardworking, improve, health, routine, detailed oriented, work, pets, to be in service, help, hospitals, mental health, physical health, etc.

Libra (7°, 19°): beauty, fashion, harmony, fairness, law, justice, business, marriage, partnerships, love, makeup, luxury, charm, charisma, music, art, beauty of soul, etc.

Scorpio (8°, 20°): shadow, death, dark side, flaws, s3x, wealth, money, manifestation, rebirth, the spiritual world, intense connections, the unknown, jealousy, pregnancy, night, secrets, etc.

Sagittarius (9°, 21°): philosophy, wisdom, teaching and learning, college, studies, life smart, learning from life and experiences, spontaneous, curious, the spiritual world, traveling, exploring, etc.

Capricorn (10°, 22°): working, hardworking, money, abundance, luxury, cold, royalty, to take control, public attention, fame, fear, father, family, leader, depression, ambition, old etc.

Aquarius (11°, 23°): Spontaneous, humanity, being unique about..., weird, friends, new technologies, social medias, organizations, networking, internet, divorce, surprises, high places, etc.

Pisces (12°, 24°): spirituality, dreams, 5D, esotericism, astrology, psychic abilities, sleep, drugs, alcohol, addictions, the unconscious, emotions, art, poetry, water, madness, shadow work, endings, etc.

0° degree means either it's the same energy (as the house or sign), either there is nothing much to say.

For me, degrees are still needed when we analysis charts, it's very significant sometimes. For example, my mother has vertex in her 5H, and the degree is 29° (Leo). And the year she got me, her vertex was in Leo, with 29°... I'm Leo sun!

Hope it helped :)

- uyu

#uyuans

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samuelsdean · 1 year

Text

The Cure to Injuries

pairing: spencer reid x reader

summary: you most definitely didn’t think that the most effective cure to a bruise is a gentle kiss placed on it.

genre: fluff & angst

word count: 1.8k

author's notes: this is the first fic i have ever written since my stay on wattpad during grade school. so, forgive me for any mistakes & cheesiness that bled into it. spencer is too cute and he deserves more softness in his life. anyway, i hope you'll enjoy what you're about to read as much as i enjoyed writing it. i hope you'll like & reblog if you find this fic good. please do tell me if you want me to write more because i will!

GROWING UP, YOU’VE ALWAYS KNOWN YOU WANTED TO DO SOMETHING TO HELP PEOPLE. The first job you thought of was becoming a teacher. However, you realized that making lesson plans and dealing with naughty kids weren’t your thing.

The next one was becoming a lawyer. But, you’ve had enough of seeing your dad being buried in paperwork and your family telling you, "You’d be a great lawyer! You literally enjoy debating with everyone."

Then, you thought of becoming a doctor. You were good at science, and you found the human body interesting. That was your dream until you had to see your friends vomit literal bile on the sidewalk and have their stomachs pumped after a night of drinking. After that, you didn’t think you could deal with vomit and other possible human excretions in the future.

Luckily, one sunny day, your brightest idea of what you wanted your future to be like finally came to you. You wanted to work for the FBI. You’ve always been a bit too interested in criminal justice, but at the same time, you wanted to fuse it with your interest in science. So, you’ve decided that becoming a profiler is your end goal.

You just didn’t think about how becoming one could involve getting bruised and battered, possibly even shot at and blown up, and you most definitely didn’t think that the most effective cure to a bruise is a gentle kiss placed on it.

"Ow! It’s good you aren’t the medical doctor kind of doctor because your patient would definitely file a complaint against you."

You huffed and puffed, as you gingerly sat on the ambulance, accompanied by your co-worker, Dr. Spencer Reid. He shook his head and rolled his eyes at you as he continued prodding you for other injuries.

The FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit, or BAU, has been your workplace for almost four years now. You never thought you’d get here after you realized that you don’t only need brains to become a profiler but also brawn. Fortunately for you, you were too smart for the FBI to pass up on, and, well, you at least passed your physical exams—albeit barely but still enough to get to where you are now. Oh, the dream!

Where you are right now, despite that, is definitely not the dream. You were presently black and blue after being the one to take down and make the arrest of the unsub who had abducted children in Kentucky as surrogates for her deceased child. Despite your injuries, the day ended on a positive note. All the children are going home to their parents alive, and that’s all you could ever ask for. Well, that, and the incessant flocking of your co-worker, who just so happened to be the person with whom you have harbored romantic feelings for quite some time now.

"What you did was stupid, Y/L/N! You could’ve gotten killed, going in there like you’re bulletproof or something," Reid exclaimed, complete with the hand gestures and the word vomit when he’s excited or worried. "Did you forget what happened five months, seven days, and three hours ago? You got shot in the arm!"

In this case, you’re positive he’s about to pass out from all the talking and lack of breathing.

"You know, Reid," You chuckled in amusement and said, "I’m more concerned about you keeping track of the exact date and time I got injured. Are you sure you’re doing that out of concern for me as your coworker, or is it because you secretly have feelings for me?"

The doctor paled, his pouty lips opening and closing like those of a fish, swimming in the depths of the ocean.

"W-what?! What do you mean I have feelings for you?"

That made your heart twitch, and not in a good way. You knew the doctor couldn't reciprocate your feelings. He just happened to have a phenomenal memory. He can’t help but store random information; he has no choice but to remember. But, you can’t help yourself. A tiny part of you still yearns for him to return your feelings. Oh well, you’d rather have him as your friend than nothing at all. But, a little teasing won’t hurt, right?

"I’m kidding, Reid," you snickered, "I know you know that piece of information because of that eidetic memory of yours or whatever."

"It’s not just because of that, you know," Reid sighed.

That gave you pause. It seemed like your world stopped turning and nothing else mattered. It couldn’t be, you thought, there’s no way he likes you back. You’re you, and he’s this otherworldly guy. You can’t even believe he’s real.

"What?" You chuckled nervously, tugging at your ear gently, "What are you saying, Spencer?"

Spencer sighed and frowned, "I know I was the reason you got shot that day, Y/N. I saw the glint in your eye when you thought the best way to save me from getting shot was to push me out of the way and shield me. And that was a stupid move, by the way."

Your jaw dropped. You were about to say something, but Spencer beat you to it.

"Let me finish first," He said, raising his index finger as if to say I still have a lot to say, "It’s stupid because you almost got yourself killed. I was about to move out of the way when you covered for me and you got hurt! You got hurt, Y/N! How was I supposed to live with myself if you ended up dying that day because of me? How, Y/N?"

"But I didn’t! I’m here, Reid." You’re scowling now and about to rant Spencer’s ear off. " What do you want me to say? That I’m sorry I wanted to save you that day? Because I’m not!"

You know that what you did that day was incredibly stupid of you. What Reid was saying was true. You could have died that day, but you were too selfish to admit that. You were so selfish that you couldn’t imagine living a life without Spencer Reid in it if you hadn't pushed him out of the way and ended up hurting yourself for it. And you have had no regrets to this day about doing it.

"That’s the thing, Y/N," Reid was almost full-on shouting now: "No matter how much you end up getting hurt to protect the people around you, you don’t care! Did you really think I’d appreciate what you did for me if you ended up seriously getting hurt, or worse, dead?"

Your vision is getting blurry from the unshed tears now. You love Reid so much, but he wouldn’t get it. He would never see you as more than just a coworker. More than a friend.

"No, Spencer," you sniffled, looking directly at him now, "I know you wouldn’t have appreciated it if that happened. Call me selfish, but I care for you too much to ever let anything hurt you and regret what I did."

You stood up from where you were sitting and were about to head to the SUV where you could be alone before driving back to the precinct, but Spencer didn’t let you. He held your wrist, pulled you back, and groaned.

"God, you’re insufferable!" He exclaimed, "Don’t you get it? I care about you, Y/N!"

"I know, Reid," you smiled wistfully, "you care about me because I’m your friend."

"No, I don’t."

This made you stop in your tracks and stare at him intently.

"I don’t care about you as a friend, Y/N. I never did."

"Oh."

Reid sighed deeply and ran a hand through his hair. "Now that the cat’s out of the bag, I don’t expect you to love me back—"

"I love you." This made Reid stop fully. "I have loved you since the day you talked my ear off about Doctor Who. I have loved you since that time I woke up in the middle of the night back in Atlanta and ended up knocking on your door because I couldn't go back to sleep. You told me you'd always be here for me."

"I love you, Spencer Reid."

Before you could overthink your sudden confession, Spencer held your uninjured cheek with his slender hand—and the next thing you know, he is kissing you.

You couldn't help but gasp. You were startled by the suddenness. His lips were warm and soft, almost pillowy against yours. Warmth blossomed in your chest as Spencer's lips brushed against yours tentatively. The smell of his hair—like the smell of early mornings after a night of rain—was dizzying. He smelled so clean and fresh, like soap, with a hint of the smell of a new book.

You felt lightheaded as he swiped his tongue against your lips, asking for entrance, which you gave him. You could taste the hint of sweet coffee he drank just minutes before the takedown. You could feel the soft tickle of his breath and his fingers as he carded it through your hair while you breathed each other in.

You never imagined kissing Spencer could feel like this.

Regretfully, your bruised cheek was starting to take the brunt of all the snogging. You had to pull away because you were running out of breath, so you tapped his cheek. Spencer wasn't taking the hint at all, which made you giggle—cute. Having no other choice, you held both of his cheeks and pulled away.

"Y/N? What's wrong? Did I hurt you?"

"No, silly," you chortled; he's so cute. "I just ran out of breath, and my bruised cheeks hurt. It isn't your fault. Don't worry." You assured him.

Spencer sighed a breath of relief, which made you want to tease him.

"I know what can stop my bruises from hurting, though."

Eager to please you, the doctor was about to start searching for possible medical remedies to your injuries, not knowing you had something else in mind.

"You could plant a kiss on them." You grinned widely as you saw Spencer's neck start reddening, "I'm kidding, Spence," you said, "You don't have to—"

You didn't expect Spencer—of all people—to be the type of person who would shower you with kisses if you asked him, but he is. He started planting light kisses on the purple blotches on your face—not caring that anyone from the local police to your workmates from the bureau could see you.

"I love you too, Y/N Y/L/N," Reid said, eyes glistening with unshed tears as he brushed his lips against yours once again.

You never thought the best day of your life would be the day you get injured. You never thought the best cure for cuts, scrapes, and bruises could be a kiss from the one you love the most—Spencer Reid.

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genericpuff · 4 months

Note

Does Minthe in Lore Rekindled have BPD?

Short answer: No, ish.

Long answer: This was something I grappled with a lot in the planning and writing stages of Rekindled because, like the SA plotline, there's a lot of good that could have been done in the way of doing justice by the plotlines that LO failed in representing and I do feel bad that I sort of pussied out of attempting it (and I understand if it's disappointing for those with BPD to hear that I'm not going to be tackling an actual BPD-focused plotline). I'm not necessarily opposed to Minthe having BPD, but I think there's more than enough in her character arc to focus on without mental illness even having to be considered as a "reason" or getting roped into her analysis as a character. The fact that she's a lower class nymph trapped in a financially-dependent relationship is already ripe for discussion and characterization; and on a more personal note, as someone who doesn't have BPD, I don't think there's anything productive that I could provide to the discussion surrounding BPD and how it's represented in media (aside from general bare minimum criticisms of how it SHOULDN'T be handled in works like LO in the general sense of "maybe don't write your evil other girl character with a highly stigmatized mental illness that you then retcon as soon as you realize you're not gonna do any justice by it?")

All that said, like the discussion and speculation regarding Kore having DID, Minthe may reflect characteristics of BPD that people with the disorder may relate to and empathize with, and to those people I say more power to you! At the end of the day regardless of whether or not they have mental disorders that they're grappling with, I want to ultimately flesh them more out as characters with deeper backstories than just their surface level tropes, and get back more to the core messaging that LO tried to tackle and failed at, much of which involves the discussion of feminism and how women are often roped into situations that are out of their control at the hands of powerful men. And I hope the nuances of those characterizations, even if they're not involved in the complete end result of the narrative, bring closure and satisfaction to the people who relate to them.

#ask me anything #ama #anon ama #anon ask me anything #lore rekindled ama

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somedayillbepeterpan · 2 months

Text

FOR BONUS POLINWEEK

DAY ONE | Favourite Season 3 scene: The Butterfly ball

PART 1: THE VENUE AND A FULL CIRCLE MOMENT

Disclaimer: This is going to be a series because the chokehold this scene has on me has been feral. I've ruminated on this scene for such a long time because I want to give it justice. I literally just need this out of my head so I can move on so I hope you can come on a journey with me 🤣 Also, this is my first time participating in Polin week and I'm so excited!

I have made a prior post about the Butterfly ball and it is what made me dive into the deepest end of this rabbit hole. Here it is if you're interested in it - Butterfly ball: Colin and Marina vs. Colin and Pen

_____ Notice how this venue is circular? Yes, the Mondrich ball also had a circular dance floor but the opening of this scene with the Dankworths and Finches particularly had circular sweeping shots, making you feel like you're inside a ball (the thing, not the event).

A subtle way of telling you that this scene is a FULL CIRCLE MOMENT.

WHERE IT ALL STARTS AND HOW IT CLOSES A 3-ARC STORYLINE.

Let me first paint the picture from S1.

S1E1: Diamond of the First Water - Danbury ball

I don't know if anyone has clocked this but Pen and Colin's love story, the scene where it became very obvious to us that Pen has a one-sided crush on Colin, is at her very first ball as a debutante wearing a BUTTERFLY DRESS.

As a freshly minted debutante, this is the first time that Pen sees Colin in a setting like this-- as an eligible suitor and we can see from her face that the scene she is seeing is making her feel all sorts of emotions. The Penelope scene we get before this was when she was convincing her mother to let her skip the season as she feels wholly unprepared for it. It is very evident on her face how affected she is to see Colin as a potential husband.

If anyone remembers themselves as a 17/18 year old, I know that there were instances where one would think about finding the "one" at that young age, when your emotions/feelings about love are still so innocent and untainted. We know from S3/book that Pen fell in love with Colin from the moment they first met but growing up with him and having a crush on him vs. seeing him as a potential partner in the marriage mart surely opened up a plethora of emotions and ideas inside Pen's head.

Aside from that, this is also the first ball that Pen writes about in her column where she openly challenges the Queen's taste (ma'am, you are but 17. How can you have the gall to challenge the head of your state so openly?). We are also introduced to the dysfunction of the Featheringtons'-- Philippa and Prudence being as ignored as Pen and Portia being insecure and egotistical.

To begin this deep dive into this analysis, Pen started her debutante season unprepared, insecure, very much infatuated with an idea of Colin in her head (especially after he "rescued" her by the end of S1E1), and in over her head as she hides behind LW.

A quick research about yellow butterfly symbolism gave me this definition: Yellow butterflies symbolise positivity, hope, and transformation. Seeing one might mean good news or big, positive changes are headed your way.

It took her 3 seasons to fulfill the "prophecy" of this yellow butterfly dress but we do get there and it is so much more than we could have ever hope for for this adorable wallflower.

This metamorphic journey has just began.

(posts will be updated with links as I put out the next ones in the series).

PART 2: THE COLOURS, THE FEATHERS, AND THE NUMBER 8

#polinweek #the butterfly ball #the butterfly dress #a full circle moment #polin #bridgerton #nicola coughlan #luke newton #netflix #bridgerton seaosn 3 #bridgerton season three #bridgerton s3 #bridgerton season 3 #netflix bridgerton #bonus polinweek #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington #penelope bridgerton #peterpanbutterflyball

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ave-cave · 22 days

Text

Lucy in Chapter 118: an Analysis 🫧

Hooo boy

Chapter one-eighteen. Where do I even 𝓫𝓮𝓰𝓲𝓷?

Unlike a lot of folks in this fandom (all more imaginative than I could ever hope to be, lol), I had basically no solid predictions for this chapter (or… any chapter thus far, really, and I've been following the manga religiously since 103, so… yeah, there's a reason I'm a BSD analyst, not theorist, lmao).

Needless to say, this chapter is heartbreak and bombshells galore: Tanizaki and Kenji’s apparent Ame-no-Gozen-ing, the possibility that all of those “Jun'ichirō and Naomi aren't real siblings” theories were just proven dead right, the protagonist and villain finally meeting because it's about goddamn time, so on and so forth.

But because a) the fanbase is already abuzz with talk about those things + no doubt already in the process of doing them analytical justice, and b) I'm annoying, I’ve decided to dissect the ever-loving hell out of the chapter’s three most innocuous pages: this interaction between Kyōka Izumi and Lucy Maud Montgomery.

Inhales

MY GIRLS ARE BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

Does a little jig 🎶

Sorry, just had to get that out of my system

No, but seriously. We haven't seen Kyōka in person since chapter 91. Three whole years; definitely too long for a character of her importance. But Lucy… Lucy’s been out of the picture since chapter 81. That’s four whole years. So in other words, two significant female characters, sidelined for ages, are back. That’s kind of huge, IMO.

Of course, we have a vague idea of what they’ve been up to. Given Anne's Room has more than once been shown serving as the ADA’s safe haven and base of operations, per the rules of AOAR, Lucy must be nearby if not inside herself – and Kyōka we see in silhouette form in Anne's Room in chapter 92. But this is the first time in a hot minute we've seen either of them in the flesh, let alone gotten dialogue out of them. I nearly choked on my cereal when I turned the page and saw their faces, lol.

So then, pray tell, what does this long-awaited appearance in the flesh entail? Well…

Lucy and Kyōka:

Right off the bat, the two girls are seen in Anne’s Room (where they’ve ostensibly been this whole time), standing in front of the white door (i.e., the door opposite the prison, which – unless linked to a surface in the real world – will cause those who leave through it to experience amnesia. Not relevant to the scene, just thought I should give a refresher.) The exit is blocked by rubble; the airport, as well as the surrounding buildings, have all been devastated. How to leave Anne's Room at this point is anyone’s guess.

Kyōka suggests Lucy deactivate her ability, but Lucy points out that, chances are, they'll be flattened by rubble as soon as she does. In response, Kyōka does her signature knife-unsheathing and insists, rather ominously, that they'll just have to take a gamble then. Lucy grabs her wrist and tells her to stop, and upon being asked why, she replies solemnly, “Because… if you died… it would crush him,” this followed by a picture of Atsushi’s smiling face.

YES. YES. YES.

Now THIS is what I love about Lucy and Kyōka’s dynamic.

In essence, they're rivals. Thing is, they're not your generic “two girls fighting over the same guy” rivals. Kyōka’s feelings toward Atsushi aren’t even romantically-coded.

Their shared love for Atsushi doesn’t divide them; it unites them. After all, since the Guild Aftermath arc, the “rivalry” aspect of their relationship has had almost nothing to do with him. There, they were only at each other’s throats because Kyōka didn’t like how Lucy, still angry about the Moby Dick, was treating Atsushi, and Lucy didn’t like how Kyōka was standing in the way of her talking things out properly with him.

But once a much-needed heart-to-heart was had at the docks and Lucy officially turned over a new leaf, there was no longer any reason for her and Kyōka to bicker. Kyōka didn’t have the full context of Lucy’s actions, and was thus within her rights to suspect that she couldn’t be trusted, but Lucy proved that she could be when she led them to the right boat.

Later on, Lucy showed that she wasn’t holding any grudges when she advocated for Kyōka, forcing Atsushi to leave her to her thoughts upon learning the truth of her parents' deaths.

The next chapter, Kyōka calls Lucy’s coffee mediocre, but Lucy herself admitted that she's not much of a barista, and so Kyōka’s criticism is really just her not mincing words. What’s more, Lucy is offended at first, but then concedes without any real hostility.

In the Cannibalism arc, Kyōka is shown bowing politely to Lucy while enlisting her help, even if she is just following Atsushi's lead (and later does the same for Mushitarō).

Fast forward to the Sky Casino arc, Kyōka is miffed by Lucy’s hot-and-cold behavior around Atsushi, but that’s not exactly unique to her...

... and moreover, they agree without resistance to work together to infiltrate the casino. In chapter 81, i.e., the last we saw of Lucy until now, the Agency reunites and Lucy encourages Kyōka to join in on the celebration.

Perhaps most notable is that, in chapter 78, the two are lumped into the same category by Ango; he recognizes them both as people who would choose Atsushi over the good of the world, and this nearly drives him to kill them on the spot for fear of what their loyalty could turn into.

In this chapter, however, it’s underscored that, while Lucy and Kyōka may be the same in their care for Atsushi on the surface, they’re still, at the end of the day, foil characters.

Both are orphans. Both were taken in – and subsequently exploited – by criminal organizations for their abilities. Both found their place in the story by virtue of meeting Atsushi. Both are undyingly loyal to Atsushi because of what he’s done for them. But that’s about where their similarities end.

Kyōka was introduced as a remorseful killer seeking atonement by death. Atsushi managed to save her (twice, for that matter) in the conventional hero way, cementing himself as her savior and playing into the reckless heroism by which he determines his worth.

Lucy, on the other hand, was introduced as a bitter villain who believed she was justified in lashing out. Atsushi tried, but he couldn’t save her in the traditional hero way. Only his vulnerability managed to get through to her, and if anything, Lucy saved him. This utterly subverted the philosophy by which Atsushi had begun to define both himself and his relationships.

Since then, Lucy has been trying at every turn to get Atsushi to see himself as more than just a hero. She reprimands him for his reckless heroism when she sees it. She stops him from inserting himself into other people’s plights uninvited. She confronts him when he fails to understand his relationships beyond the framework of hero and savior. Kyōka, meanwhile, has been doing more or less the opposite; she’s passively allowed Atsushi to keep playing the perpetual hero, and this wouldn’t be the first time she’s taken on his philosophy of self-sacrifice herself.

To these ends, the girls’ thought processes here are perfectly in line for them: Kyōka tries to push forward without care for what could happen to her, whereas Lucy emphasizes self-preservation.

One might perceive Lucy replying the way she does to Kyōka’s question as callous, but I don’t really think so. She isn’t saying “the only reason you shouldn’t risk your life is because it would make Atsushi sad.” She’s applying her philosophy of self-preservation to Atsushi and Kyōka at the same time. She's encouraging Kyōka to be more than just a hero by telling her to think of how it would affect Atsushi as a person if she died.

If Lucy is good at anything, it’s communicating what she wants from people in a way that she knows will get through to them. She did this with Atsushi on the Moby Dick when she bluffed about waiting on his salvation, knowing that he would be more motivated to stay alive himself if he thought there was someone counting on him to save them. Here, she communicates with Kyōka in a way that highlights the reason they get along; the reason they’re both here in the first place. And if the way Kyōka resheathes her knife without a word is any indication, it works.

Lucy knows that she and Atsushi are close, but she knows that Kyōka and Atsushi are closer; losing her would be the last straw. She recognizes their relationship as something beyond hero and savior, something precious. This is far from out-of-character for her; to the contrary, it’s in keeping with who she’s been all along. All that’s different now is that she’s acknowledging it out loud.

Lucy and Atsushi:

When Lucy pictures Atsushi in her mind’s eye, she sees the spirit that would undoubtedly be broken if he were to lose Kyōka. This in and of itself is heartbreaking, but when you consider the greater implications, well…

In the Sky Casino arc, a huge breakthrough was made in Atsushi and Lucy’s relationship: her elusive “impossible” debt to him was finally repaid, though not in the way you'd expect.

At the time, all Lucy felt she could give in return for Atsushi’s turning her life around was conventional heroism – or in other words, many a close call and many a trip to Anne’s Room. This conventional heroism was a worthless currency in her mind – it wasn’t the kind that saved her, after all – but on the other hand, the vulnerability she so valued in its stead she wasn’t capable of giving; where she came from, being vulnerable was a death sentence, after all. Because of this, how she could ever come close to repaying Atsushi’s ultimate favor was a mystery unto itself. All she knew was that she had to do it one way or another, and that’s where her most glaring flaw – her quid-pro-quo mindset – came into play, eventually driving her so far as to override her own philosophy and embody the reckless hero she so discouraged Atsushi from being.

But when Atsushi saved her from Nathaniel – thereby repaying her for her acts of service as he’d promised so many times he would – she realized that, just as her care for Atsushi doesn’t depend on his being a hero, Atsushi's care for her doesn’t depend on her being vulnerable. The illusion was shattered.

From this point forward, Lucy is no longer helping Atsushi out of a sense of indebtedness. She's doing it because she wants to. Because she truly, genuinely cares. Not the artificial kind of care that comes with repaying a debt, but the care that she showcases when she stays by Atsushi’s side after he faints, pressing a cold towel to his face. The kind of care that involves refusing to hurt Atsushi in any way, even to jog potentially vital memories.

Lucy considering what Kyōka’s death would do to Atsushi’s psyche is a perfect continuation of this new leaf she’s turned over, but it also goes to show that her shared arc with Atsushi is far from finished.

Lucy’s character development has always been structured in a rather unique way: each arc she’s appeared in has worked either to establish or address her current most glaring flaw, more often than not in unexpected ways. Her appearance in the first half of the Guild arc established her villainous façade being just that – a façade – by having it crumble as she realized the kind of person she was up against in Atsushi. The second half addressed her unhealthy attachment to the Guild by having Atsushi dissuade her from villainy via empathy. The Guild Aftermath arc added the finishing touch to all of this – the last little push needed to propel Lucy into her new role – by addressing her and Atsushi’s “promise” on the Moby Dick. The Cannibalism arc subtly established her quid-pro-quo mindset, which the Sky Casino arc would then go on to address.

Another great subversion of the tropes usually involved in these dynamics is that, despite Lucy being the closest thing to Atsushi’s “love interest,” only he's managed to bolster her development, not the other way around. This isn’t for lack of trying, of course; Lucy tries. But Atsushi is a tough nut to crack. The fact that she’s still, nearly fifteen chapters later, trying to steer Atsushi toward personhood instead of heroism – albeit indirectly – is testament to this.

If she could reach him now, she’d no doubt be trying even still. She’d be conveying to him that none of his friends’ deaths so far has been his fault – that he can’t be expected to carry the burden of hero to all when the world is going to hell in a handbasket. But she can’t reach him. She’s trapped, and so is Kyōka. Thus is the cruel irony.

Anne's Room:

Anne of Abyssal Red has played a key role in pretty much everything plot-related up to this point. It’s only appropriate, then, that its owner finally appearing alongside it would give it all the more significance.

Lucy’s last line in this chapter is as follows: “So the enemy… even took this into account.” She’s right; Fyodor had countermeasures against her ability. That said, I don’t think this is attributable solely to Fyodor being, well… Fyodor.

AOAR is in the same ballpark narrative-wise as, say, For The Tainted Sorrow in that it’s overpowered to the point of detriment. It’s Lucy’s playground; the product of an imagination run wild due to crippling loneliness. This in and of itself is scary. A power having rules that malleable is automatically dangerous, because it means that, while its wielder can bend and exploit said rules, so can an enemy. In both major fights Lucy has been a part of, the rules of Anne’s Room being molded to favor her opponent has spelled either victory or loss on her end: Atsushi used the prison room loophole against her, and she indirectly used the transportation loophole against Nathaniel. Hell, her capture by the Guild following her betrayal was thanks to the loophole that, while Anne couldn’t be defeated, she could be restrained.

So basically, for as powerful as AOAR is, underneath that power is a shaky foundation. Power doesn’t always mean stability, and this is underscored by the fact that, at the end of the day, Anne is only infallible in terms of strength; she could only do so much to alleviate Lucy’s loneliness growing up (which is honestly a pretty clever mirror to her conflict of strength vs. vulnerability with Atsushi.)

With Anne’s Room nullified by Fyodor, Lucy has truly nothing at her disposal. She's not physically strong (she’s 165 cm and 44 kg, so… yeah ˙◠˙), and while by no means stupid, she doesn’t repeatedly say in this chapter that she doesn’t know what to do next for no reason. Anne’s Room is all she’s ever had. While at the orphanage, it was her only comfort. While in the Guild, it was her only value. With Atsushi, it was all she had to offer in return for his ultimate favor.

This, I feel, could be the establishing point for the next portion of her arc. She could strive to find a way out of the rubble, working together with Kyōka, and in the process learn to break away from her ability as what defines her role in all of this. One thing's for sure: something has to be done sooner or later, otherwise, they'll starve.

I dunno, maybe that’s wishful thinking given how much is already going on. But either way, I’ll hope against hope that this isn’t some one-off return, because Lucy has proven time and time again that she has a lot to offer to the story, both plot-wise and thematically.

#bungou stray dogs #bsd manga #bsd manga 118 #bsd chapter 118 #bsd lucy #bsd kyouka #bsd atsushi #lucy maud montgomery #kyouka izumi #atsushi nakajima

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