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inevitably-johnlocked · 4 years

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30 FAVE BOOKMARKS of 2020

Happy New Year’s Eve-Eve, everyone!!

And welcome to the Last Fic Rec Wednesday of 2020! No one asked for this at all, but I enjoy making unprompted lists for everyone, and I’ve been doing this list since January 2020 :P

I’ve read some FANTASTIC fics this year, and now seems like a good time as any to share with y’all some of those amazing fics I’ve added to List of Love! I had to even whittle it down today to get it to 25 – the number I like as a “top xx” thing, so I am very disheartened that a lot of my bookmarks this year didn’t make the list :( It’s been a long time since I’ve done a “last XX bookmarked fics” list, maybe I’ll do one of those soon.

First off let’s start with 5 honourable mentions of Other Fandom fics, because I spent a lot of my summer indulging in my renewed Rimmster ship so I have a few amazing RD fics y’all should read LOL

FIVE OTHER-FANDOM HONOURABLE MENTIONS

Réveillon by Big_Edies_Sun_Hat (T, 6,431 w., 3 Ch. || GOOD OMENS || Christmas Eve, Angst, Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Relationship, Established Relationship, International Travel, Moments in Time, Historical / Biblical Interpretation) – After a gloomy history with Christmas, Aziraphale shows Crowley how he has learned to seek out the good in it by traveling around the world on Christmas Eve. Highlights include: the Annunciation; potholes; international teleportation; peace and hope; arson; Lupe gets a doll of her very own.

Out With It by Clipped_Ionian_Vowels (T, 10,255 w., 1 Ch. || RED DWARF || Post-Ace, Reclaimed Slurs, Getting Together, Sexuality, Coming Out) – Rimmer finally comes home, hangs up the wig and decides to set the crew 'straight' about one thing; he's not. And neither, it transpires, is Lister.

Standards by Kahvi & Roadsterguy (E, 11,725 w., 2 Ch. || RED DWARF || Hard Light Rimmer, Bickering, Humour, First Time, Over-Protective Kryten, Cranky Rimmer, Exploring Derelicts, Arguing Leads to Awkward Flirting, Showering Together, Intense Orgasms) – Yet another supply raid on a derelict leads Rimmer and Lister to an argument, which in turn leads to... something that's still fairly close to an argument. You get lonely in space, but you do have standards.

speed limits (and how to break them) by darcylindbergh (E, 13,750 w., 4 Ch. || GOOD OMENS || POV Crowley, UST/URT, Mutual Pining, Romance, First Kiss/Time, Crowley’s Anxiety, Gift Giving, Humour, Touching, Awkwardness, Love Confessions, Sussex, Fantasies Become Real, Marriage Proposal, Sensuality, Bottom Crowley) – There is a trick people do with a mint candy and a bottle of cola which results in a small eruption, and something very like it, for much higher stakes than a laugh in a car park, is about to take place in Aziraphale’s back room. Or: what happens when you finally unscrew the cap on a six thousand years of repression, and drop in Valentine’s Day.

Hand in Glove by lizardkid (T, 14,223 w., 1 Ch. || RED DWARF || Post-S9, Internalized Homophobia, Repression, Hurt/Comfort, Lister Whump, Worried Rimmer, Ableist Language, Cuddling) – Lister is mortally wounded in an accident. Rimmer is forced to reassess everything.

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AND NOW: The reason y’all are here! Please know I love EVERYTHING I’ve read and bookmarked, just these ones have really stuck with me and I’ve already re-read a few of these, so yeah, please do enjoy.

Please note that these fics aren’t all necessarily NEW fics for 2020, more like they were new to ME, and ergo, I bookmarked and started reccing them this year! There are a few newer fics, though, so yeah, apologies if you were expecting only new things.

Hope you all have a good New Year’s Day, and I hope this list makes the long weekend a great one until my FIRST Fic Rec Sunday of 2021! I might do two on Sunday just to celebrate the new year, hahah. <3 Love you all!

TOP 25 JOHNLOCK BOOKMARKS OF 2020

SEE ALSO:

Top 20 Bookmarks of 2018

Top 25 Bookmarks of 2019

The Imminent Danger of a Tumblr-Night by Loveismyrevolution (T, 2,135 w., 1 Ch. || Tumblr Fics, Friends to Lovers, Sherlock is Out of His Depth, Humour, Fluff, Pining Sherlock, Military Kink, POV Sherlock) – Sherlock gets into trouble when he pretends to know all about John's favourite social media site - tumblr. To save face he seeks help from one of the bloggers and gains more answers than he had aimed for.

Living Musical by VeeTheRee (G, 4,149 w. 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Hobbies, Summer, Song Fic, POV Sherlock, Painting, Play Fighting, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Love Declarations, Hair Petting, Promise of Forever) – A one-shot of John and Sherlock being domestic during summer. There is paint, fluff, and music from Imagine Dragons, namely from the album 'Speak To Me', specific song in this one-shot is 'Living Musical'. Part 1 of the Happy Fluffy Johnlock Time series

Stranded by BeautifulFiction (T, 5,798 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss, Communication / Relationship Discussion, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock POV, BAMF John, Doctor John, Case Fic, Drinking, Huddling For Warmth, Friends to More) – When stranded on a derelict barge at high tide, John and Sherlock reconsider their friendship.

Bridges by sussexbound (M, 6,602 w., 1 Ch || Post-TLD / S4 Fix It, Love Confessions, Mending Relationships, Moving Back In, Pining Sherlock, POV Sherlock, Past Abuse, Shaving) – The silence between them is deafening, interrupted only by the hum of the traffic outside, and the soft click-clunk of the plastic cups Rosie is playing with on the floor beside them. It is the first time they have been alone together, since Sherlock’s birthday. It’s only been two days, but it feels huge, important, like there is a precarious bridge stretched out before them both that they need to at least attempt to traverse.

To be loved by Strange_johnlock (E, 12,436 w., 8 Ch. || Post S3, Established Relationship, First Person POV Sherlock, Pet Names, Soft Sherlock, Mild ADHD, Protective John, Captain Watson, Body Appreciation, Bottomlock, Rough Sex, Travelling for Holidays, Introspection, Sherlock Loves John So Much It Hurts) – John is so deeply integrated into the work, both as my conductor of light, and as a great shot with a vicious right hook who tackles men -and women- no matter their size all in my defense. He protects me with all he can without question, and this loyalty is surely more than I deserve. Or: Sherlock is counting his blessings.

On The Fence by BeautifulFiction (T, 13,770 w., 1 Ch. || Fencing, Case Fic, First Kiss, Insecure John, Pining John, Hug, Greg Finds Out) – The murder of the King's College fencing champion leads to revelations about Sherlock's past. Will it be the point that tips them from friends to lovers, or will they remain on the fence?

The Invocation of Saint Margaret by Ewebie (E, 15,831 w., 1 Ch. || POV John, Crossing Timelines, Light Angst, Fluff, Series 3 John / Series 1 Sherlock, The Matchbox, Mushy Romance, First Time, Bisexual John, Pining John, Bottomlock, Love Confessions, Sensuality, Emotional Love Making, Snippets of Time) – When Sherlock Holmes opens the matchbox from The Sign of Three and John finds himself years in the past, back to that first dinner at Angelo's with a much younger Sherlock Holmes. Is he dreaming?

Permanent Fixture by vitruvianwatson (E, 18,836 w., 9 Ch || Post-S4, Parentlock, Slow Build, Friends to Lovers, They’re Good Parents, Blushing Sherlock, First Kiss/Time, Explicit Consent, Sexual Content, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Big Feelings, Crying, First Kiss, Fluff, Anxious Sherlock, Inexperienced Sherlock, Emotional Communication, Love Confessions) – Now, as Rosie sat curled up against Sherlock’s side, John watched and wondered exactly how he had ended up here. Domesticity had never suited him before, not at any point in his life. His disastrous marriage had been proof of that. But somehow, here in the warmth and safety of 221B Baker Street, here with Sherlock Holmes reading medical jargon to his daughter, Sherlock’s bony feet nudging against his leg, John couldn’t imagine anyplace that would make him happier.

Division by MrsNoggin (E, 19,542 w., 11 Ch. || Coffee Shop AU || First Kiss/Time, Fluff, Barista Sherlock, Clingy Sherlock, POV John, John’s Limp, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Sleepy Cuddles, Sensuality, Touching, Virgin Sherlock, Insecure John) – John likes mysteries. And every morning he dips into the local independent coffee bar with his newspaper and ponders another... one Sherlock Holmes.

Out of the Woods by SilentAuror (E, 20,471 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Romance, Slow Burn, Flirting, Drunk Sex, Practical Jokes, POV Sherlock, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Pining Sherlock, Frustrated Wanking, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, First Kiss/Time, Virgin Sherlock, Love Confessions, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Bum Appreciation, Hanging out with the Yard) – Sherlock is fairly certain that John has taken to flirting with him of late, but can't be entirely certain of it. At least, not until a case takes them into a forest, along with Lestrade's team and something happens that will change everything about their lives...

Inscrutable to the Last by DiscordantWords (M, 48,842 w., 6 Ch. || Post-TRF, Alternate S3, John’s Blog/S3 is a Story By John, Divorce, Marital Difficulties, John is a Mess, Emotional Reunion, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Grief / Mourning, Pining John, First Kiss, Adorably Clueless Sherlock, Nostalgia, Love Confessions, Eventual Happy Ending) – He wasn't Sherlock, he couldn't work miracles. All he'd ever been able to do was write about them.

Anchor Point by trickybonmot (E, 49,856 w., 80 Ch. || Truman Show AU || Psychological Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Dark Characters / Fic, Alternating First/Third Person, Protective John, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Tender Moments, Love Confessions, Hand/Blow Jobs, Cuddling, Jealous John, First Kiss/Time) – The world tunes in nightly for Sherlock, the ultimate in reality TV: Sherlock Holmes, a real person with a legendary name, unknowingly lives out his life in a staged setting contrived by his brother. Things get complicated when a retired army doctor joins the show to play the part of Sherlock's closest friend. This fic borrows its concept from the 1998 film, the Truman Show. However, you don't need to have any knowledge of the movie to enjoy this story.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse by SilentAuror (E, 50,635 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4/S4 Divergence, Case Fic, For a Case / Reverse Fake-Relationship, Conferences, Marriage Equality, Travelling / New York, Pride, Homophobia, Bottomlock, Marriage Proposal, John POV, Sexuality, Love Confessions, Emotional Love Making, Public Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Passionate Kissing, Needy/Clingy Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Touching / Hand Holding, Bed Sharing, Little Spoon Sherlock, Intense Orgasms) – John and Sherlock go to New York to attend a conference run by the National Defence of Traditional Marriage Coalition in order to investigate the potential bombing of the annual Manhattan Pride parade. As the conference unfolds, John finds himself repulsed by the toxic ideology being presented, which becomes relevent to his own unacknowledged issues and his friendship with Sherlock...

A Goose Quill Dipped in Venom by Polyphony (M, 52,748 w., 16 Ch. || Celebrity John AU || Alternate First Meeting, TV Host John, Supermodel Mary, Character Death, Mystery, Romance, Case Fic, First Kiss/Time, Meddling Mycroft, Drug Abuse, Doctor John, PDA, Deductions, POV Sherlock, Toplock, Sexual Tension, Angry/Rough Sex, Hopeful Ending, Asperger’s Sherlock) – Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective, is called in to a very ordinary although brutal murder. Something is badly out of tune with the whole scenario and Sherlock finds himself becoming more and more obsessed with the crime - and also with the victim.

Points by lifeonmars (E, 53,791 w., 42 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || HLV Rewrite / Canon Divergence, Married Life, Pregnancy / Baby Watson, Drinking to Cope, Boxing / Fisticuffs, Clueless John, Angst, Minor Medical Drama, Tattoos, Christmas, First Kiss/Time, Eventual Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Doctor John, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn, Case Fic, Drugging, Blow/Hand Job, Emotional Love Making, Parenthood, Passage of Time) – What if His Last Vow never happened? This fic picks up a few months after John and Mary's wedding, in an alternate universe where Magnussen doesn't exist, but Mary is still pregnant. Life continues -- just in a different direction. And slowly, Sherlock and John find their way to each other.

Isosceles by SilentAuror (E, 56,609 w., 7 Ch. || Post-S4, POV John, Original Male Character / Sherlock Dates Another Man, Love Triangle, Jealous John, Virgin Sherlock, Sexual Coaching, Angst, Romance, Domesticity, Unrequited Feelings, Miscommunication, First Kiss/Time, For a Case, Friends With Benefits, Bottomlock, Love Confessions, Spooning) – After solving a case for a major celebrity, Sherlock gets himself asked out. When John asks, he discovers that Sherlock has no intention of going, at least not until John agrees to coach him through whatever he might need to know for his date...

Lunar Landscapes by J_Baillier (M, 57,046 w., 21 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || S3/TAB Fix-It, Slow Burn Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Confessions, Drugs, Pain, Medical, Injury, Sherlock Whump, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Romance, Secrets, Tragedy, Trauma, BAMF John, Doctor!John, Drug Addict Sherlock, Injured Sherlock, Grieving John, Idiots In Love, Protective John, POV John Watson, PTSD Sherlock, Sherlock is a Mess, Medical Realism) – An accident forces John to face the fact that Sherlock's downward spiral had started long before his flight to exile even left the tarmac.

Gold Rush by ShirleyCarlton (E, 71,783 w., 17 Ch. || Post S3 / No Mary, Friends to Lovers, Mentions of Past Sexual Abuse, First Kiss, Case Fic, Slow Burn, Alternating POV, Switchlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Marriage Proposal, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Abduction, Anxious/Insecure Sherlock, Miscommunication, Emotional Lovemaking) – John has divorced Mary and pops round to 221B one evening to find Sherlock in the middle of a case. As Sherlock tries to find the identity of a young woman’s stalker, John realises he can no longer deny his feelings for Sherlock – which then, to their befuddlement, turn out to be mutual. Shy kisses and tentative embraces ensue. But will Sherlock be able to cast off a shadow from his past that he thinks might prevent John from wanting to stay?

Repairing the Broken Things by BakerTumblings (M, 75,252 w., 15 Ch. || S4 Compliant, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Trauma, Hospitals, Big Brother Mycroft, Misunderstandings, Realizations, Severe Accident, John Whump, Pneumonia, Medical Procedures, Bed Sharing, First Time, Healing, Happy Ending) – "I'm calling today to notify you that there's been an accident."

Thermocline by J_Baillier (M, 83,557 w., 14 Ch. || Scuba Diving AU || Adventure, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Marine Archaeology, Asexual Sherlock, Horny John, Relationship Drama, Technical/Scuba/Wreck Diving, Slow Burn, Underwater / Medical Peril, Doctor John, Hurt Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, John POV, Protective John, Body Appreciation) – John "Five Oceans" Watson — technical dive instructor, dive accident analyst and weapon of mass seduction — meets recluse professor of maritime archaeology Holmes. As they head out to a remote archipelago off the coast of Guatemala to study and film its shipwrecks for a documentary, will sparks fly or fizzle out?

Kintsukuroi by sussexbound (E, 91,823 w., 20 Ch. || S4 Compliant / Post-TLD, Grief / Mourning, PTSD, Internalized Homophobia, Therapy, Past Abuse, Alcohol Abuse, Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Anxiety, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, Cuddling, Suicidal Ideation, Masturbation, Minor Character Death, Sexting, Frottage, Inexperienced Sherlock, Rimming / Anal / BJ’s, Emotional Turmoil, Finding Each Other) – “I love you.” Sherlock sees the words hit John with almost physical force. He reels back a little, jaw twitching and eyes filling. “I love you,” he repeats, a little softer, a little more gentle, as earnest as he possibly can. Because they’ve been teetering on the brink of this thing for years, and it had become painfully obvious over the last few months that they were at a tipping point. This had to happen. Now it has. Now they can see where they end up. The tears in John’s eyes spill over, and he wipes at them angrily. “Do you even know what that means?”

The Summer Boy by khorazir (T, 94,706 w., 6 Ch. || Post S3/Post TAB/Alternate S4, Friends to Lovers, Asexual Sherlock, POV Sherlock, Flashbacks, Bullying, 1980′s Kid Sherlock, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Inexperienced Sherlock, Grief/Mourning, Pining Sherlock, Case Fic, Sherlock’s Past, Awkward Conversations, Anxious Sherlock) – About half a year after the fateful events at Appledore, Sherlock and John embark on a private case in Sussex. For Sherlock, it’s a journey into his past, bringing up memories both happy and sad that he has locked away for almost thirty years. For John, it means coming to terms with the present – and a potential future with Sherlock. Part 1 of the The Summer Boy series

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w., 27 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU || BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Drug Rehab, Falling in Love, Pining Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Panic Attacks, Switching, Anxious / Protective Sherlock, Hugs for Comfort, Suicide Mentions, Healing Each Other) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn't truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes." Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest

The Bang and the Clatter by earlgreytea68 (M, 137,049 w. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Baseball AU || Slow Burn / Dev. Rel., Possessive/Obsessive Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Body Appreciation, Depression, Closeted Sexuality, Family, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Ogling Each Other, Anxious Sherlock, Panic Attack, Drunkenness, Talk of Forever, Big Feelings™) – Sherlock Holmes is a pitcher and John Watson is a catcher. No, no, no, it's a baseball AU. Part 1 of Baseball

Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.

#johnlock fic recs #long post #my fic recs #fic rec wednesday #fave fics #red dwarf fic recs #good omens fic recs

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yamagucji · 4 years

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love letters from cupid.

dear lovely anons,

i cherish every bit of interaction we have. im extremely grateful to know that there are people out there who read and enjoy my works. hm, hope you know that i care about each of you. honestly sometimes i just wanna make a post dedicated to each of you but idk!! if you’ll see it or not. hopefully this bit is enough to let you know how much i appreciate every single one of you. thank you.

dear readers,

thank you for reading my works. it’s comforting to know that there are people out there who will check out something that i’ve slapped on together with every bit of my effort. to those of you who have consistently supported my works in silence- you know who you are. im just... keeping my distance because ya’ll are really just minding your own business while i get giddy about seeing you pop up in my notifications again. im hoping to get around and send a ty note to as many special readers n special ppl on this blog. but im a little shy, so i hope you’ll give me some time. seeing you in my notifications from time to time makes me happy; sometimes i do wonder if you’re still here and in good health. i hope you all are right now. thank you.

dear dani,

what a wonderful being you are. never regretting the first time i *shyly* asked if there was anyone that wanted to be friends here. i probably already talk about my love for you and vera so much but who’s gonna stop me? you’re such a cool person. i look up to you (literally). i think it’s amazing to get to know a person who has a lot of passion for history like me. but also- screams about 2d men with me. truthfully, this site is much more bearable having you as a moot. i feel very comfortable talking to you, about anything at all. lomve you, you’re the best.

dear mayya,

kindness personified. im sure you’ve made a plethora of people smile with every rb and comment you’ve given; including me. i think it’s very refreshing to see such genuine comments. you radiate this calm aura that im always seeking for. thank you, for providing me (and many other people) with that. a little embarrassing that you see my uhm, messy sideblog, but... it’s comforting i think. to know that someone is listening. i hope that you understand it goes the other way around too— that i’m here for you.

dear hrituja,

my partner of chaos. when did it start? i can’t remember. all i know is that every little thing you send me on instagram really makes my day. i’ll have bad days and all i need to do is look at the silly stuff you sent me and get a laugh out of it. i think it’s cool that we’ve been able to build this space where we can talk about anything (literally), poke fun of each other, and also ourselves. you’re cool. i genuinely like hearing you go off about ace. if i could meet a moot it’d probably be you unless you’re secretly a fraud and you’re actually just a 80 yr old man looking for a sugar babie. in that case im in.

dear oz,

you overly sweet bean. i genuinely watch you in awe from afar, just by how talented and hardworking you are. your art is amazing, and i always look forward to the design you make for your oc’s outfits. thank you for understanding me, and for being patient with me. i care about you a lot, so if there’s ever anything that’s occupying your mind and you need to let them out, i’m here to listen. ps. i really don’t know any other mutual who listens to *that* comfort stuff like i do so im really thankful to have someone to talk about them with. you can always share your interests with me too, especially with your dearest tendou.

dear tate,

im such in awe of you. just the fact that you devote a lot of your time into writing and setting up the theme for your blog astounds me. not to mention, your art skills as well. i am still very much in love with that bokuto piece you made with the hanging leaves. i hope you know that bokuto loves you just as much as you do to him. i know you’re writing up something special atm, so i’m really looking forward to it. thank you for all the time you’ve spared just to send me an ask. it truly does mean a lot to me. it feels like someone is listening, and i’m very appreciative of having you as my dear mutual. please know that i’m here to support you too, with the best of my abilities.

dear winx club,

[ @wissbby @kageruna @pinkbunnyplushie @astrooliver @lovingtobio @kenmaki @lfjr @lcsbianist ]

im such a clutz, but thank you for dealing with me. i was little nervous to start up such a discord server because im bad at staying in one. though, the warm environment that you all provide makes me feel much more at ease. i think it’s funny popping in to the server and seeing a few people spamming the chat with hugs, headpats and kisses. it’s sweet, too. being in a group discord can get overwhelming for some people, so i appreciate you all for having that patience. another thing- thank you for understanding each other’s boundaries. its hard to be aware all the time especially when you’re interacting with people you don’t know to at a very personal level. im glad that you all helped each other make the space comfy. i look forward to more chaotic and genuine talks with all of you in the future. maybe we’ll still be in touch with each other after a long while? who knows. but im going to cherish every single moment i get with you all.

dear @nishinoya-is-baby @keitsukki11 @sullen-angel24 @smolbludandelions @whootwhoot @cheatingthroughthislife @tadashi-simp @oikaw-ugh @lostsealscreams @sleepykarabou @atsunflower @lfjr @globe-fish @bewwybun @tetsoleil @sleepykarabou @justcafewriter @rin-suna @atsumusc0ck @waitforitillwritemywayout @dorkyhaikyu @yemilnisu @sunseteyes @kenmaki @kenanami,

goodness, i would write you all individual messages if time let me. but, i hope this is alright. i just wanted to thank you all for interacting with some dummy like me because that shit takes real patience </3 y’all are some really cool people and im really glad to have you as a moot. im ngl im pretty sure i’ve stopped by all your inboxes just to forget to actually send an ask :’( or maybe im too shy. one or the other. hopefully i can come around to all your ask boxes soon and fill it with my love because it’s what you all deserve. ya’ll are such amazing and talented people. for the love of god- you have all my love and care in the world. i hope that these past few weeks have been gentle with you, but if not, please let yourself rest from whatever it is that may be putting you down. here’s a gentle reminder that im always here to listen, and i wouldn’t judge you for whatever it is it may be. thank you for being so kind to me, and i hope to return that as well. take care.

@insanitywrites @derpeedoo @killuababie @lespaghetti @ordinary-ace

i haven’t told you this until now but, thank you for giving me company and comfort during a time that i was deeply struggling.

ps. if there’s any grammar or spelling mistakes no u did not see that <3

#cupid speaks #some...#very important ppl in this blog #i love them.

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sleepylixie · 4 years

Text

The Prince of Pearls

Seawalker/Merman! Yang Jeongin

Word Count: 1.6k, Fantasy, Beware of suicide, mentions of depression I’m sorry you guys

A/N: THIS FIC DOES NOT REFLECT THE CHARACTER OR LIKENESS OF THE REAL YANG JEONGIN IN ANY FORM OR MANNER. ONTO THE FIC!! I love this for so particular reason, I really don’t know why,

( @aliceu and @rebecca-noona welcome to the cult yet again. Today we’re serving Sex on the beach with a side of Fantasy Fries)

Requests are open for SKZ and BTS! || Masterlist

Every heard about a time when the lines between natural and supernatural were so blurred, they lived as one? Ever heard about a mortal loving the sea so much, he became one with it? Come, let me tell you the story of the Prince of Pearls.

The sea was an entity of dread to mortals, bringing fear in its unpredictability and terror of the unknown that lay within it.

But for this village off the coast of what would become Busan, South Korea, the sea was nothing more than a god- given blessing for it brought them a bond other inlanders couldn’t even fathom-

Merpeople.

Not more than 80 years ago, the first Mermaid queen had reached out to the Busan chief, hoping to find themselves an agreement of mutual benefit.

Despite strong disagreement, the chief agreed to the Queen’s behest,

And it was evident, soon enough, that his decision had been for the best.

Her people were curious and benevolent, she claimed, if not slightly impish in nature- They were curious of their land counterparts and wished to observe them from as close of quarters as they’d allow-

They brought with them deep-sea treasures like the pearl and opal for the village to trade in return for their acceptance of her kind.

Busan thrived with their newly acquired trade of rare gems and medicinal weeds from the sea floor, and quickly warmed up to their newest neighbours.

Soon enough, it was no oddity to see a band of children splashing and laughing at each other in the shallow waves with a trio of mer-children

It was commonplace to see the mothers sitting at the rocks at the edge of the beach, talking marketplace gossip with their underwater counterparts responding with their own equivalents.

Busan grew well with the merpeople’s companionship, the village blossoming into a robust little trading town.

Yang Jeongin was the name of the current chief’s son, a young boy with a polite, if not a little shy disposition which was often mistaken for coldness.

He wasn’t of the chief’s blood, for his wife was too weak to bear a child. He was picked up by his wife at an orphanage, being swept away by the baby with hair like ebony and a smile like nectar.

He wasn’t a child of many words, often choosing silence and smiles as much as he could.

That is, until he saw the ocean.

The second the waves touched his toes, Jeongin seemed to evolve- no more was he the timid, reserved child his school friends knew him as.

He was a bright, vivacious little thing, unashamed in his loud laughter and witty in his responses, attracting every mer-child’s attention without a smidgen of hesitance.

It was like he bloomed into his true self when he was in the ocean only to retreat into himself again on land, much to his parents’ exasperation.

“Your life is here, on land, Jeongin,” his mother would reprimand him every time he came back past midnight, tracking sand off his feet and pockets full of coral. “You give too much of yourself to the ocean.”

He would smile his shy smile again, complete with the shiny puppy eyes, and his mother would melt, yet again.

And so grew Yang Jeongin, from a reserved child with an affinity for the ocean, to a young man with a love for it.

He was never curious of his true parentage, for his adoptive parents had never made him feel less than their own son by blood- What was the need to look into history, when the present was as beautiful as this?

His hair was black as midnight, cut short so they hung slightly over his coral-brown eyes, brushing at high cheekbones. He stood tall and proud, like a chief’s son should, with swimmer’s shoulders and work-roughed palms. Despite his nature, he was loved by the village, an unconscious charmer who had eyes for nothing but the sea.

Jeongin had begun to spend as much time as he could in the underwater world, loving it all way too much to be able to stay away.

He could stay underwater for long minutes, swim unnaturally fast with his human limbs, even understand the merpeople’s underwater tongue like it was his own.

There was no doubt, of course, that the merpeople loved the chief’s son. He was forthcoming with his questions, nimble with his trickery and brilliant with his words, all qualities that they treasured very greatly amongst their own people.

“Join the sea,” they’d mock him, laughing their bubbly laughs when Jeongin would frown for he knew he had responsibilities on land that he had no choice but to shoulder. “I wish, my friends.” He’d respond in their tongue, a wistful look in his eyes.

But at least his underwater friends would always be there for him, no matter what-

but one day, they disappeared.

One winter morning, Busan woke up to find the merpeople had retreated into the deep sea, far beyond measure.

Busan was lucky that their trading season was over and that they could tide away a few months without the precious cargo the merpeople used to bring for them

But what were they to do if they never returned?

The pressure of the decisions fell onto the chief’s family- who were facing an entirely different kind of dilemma altogether.

Their son had fallen into a spiral of darkness after the merpeople left, retreating so deeply into himself that he was barely a shadow of his old self.

It felt like something was missing inside Jeongin, even when he stood at the sea. It was a sickly, poisonous sensation that left him unable to even stand the sight of the ocean- a place he couldn’t stay away from not too long ago.

No amount of talking from his father or pleading from his mother could get him to leave his room- the windows closed, the bed turned away so he would not catch whiff or sight of the sea and it’s breeze.

The healer came up with nothing that could allude to his strange behavior; his body was entirely fine, she said. His mind, on the other hand....

If only they knew.

If only they knew how he cried at the edge of the beach every night, where nobody would hear him, screaming and begging for the underwater race to come back, bring their ocean magic back with them

The water felt like a trap without their presence, a dark shroud falling over his senses that used to be open and clear even under water.

Maybe that was why Jeongin gave up, one night.

He couldn’t take the emptiness inside him anymore, he couldn’t take having to watch the very thing he loved so much tighten a noose around his head every time he so much as smelt it’s air

So he gave himself to the sea, walking right into the water that felt so poisonous, allowing it to rise from his knees, to waist, chest, shoulders, nose, eyes....

and let go.

It was a full moon that watched the boy with the midnight hair walk into the very water that gave him life, only to never come out again.

When he felt water rush into his nose, Jeongin’s immediate reaction when he came around to consciousness was to panic and try to push his way to the surface until-

The water wasn’t constricting his lungs at all. The water didn’t feel suffocating, like it did for all those months before.

Right in front of him floated the same people who he’d cried for, all those nights when he felt hopeless and lost in the land.

“I am sorry you had to live that way, young one.”

The oldest spoke, his merman tongue unfamiliar with his language.

“Where am I,” he breathed out, finally allowing his eyes to rove over his surroundings- his extremely clear, unblurred vision.

That was when he looked down at himself- and nearly blacked out in shock when he saw not two legs, but one tail. A strong streamlined tail with shimmering bronze dorsal fins, obsidian scales rippling throughout the length of it.

“Welcome to Atlantis.”

He took to life underwater better than he could have ever imagined.

Word went out about the newly arrived merman, formerly of human nature but unforgiving in his love for the sea, much like the rest of them. They accepted him graciously, offering him room and tutelage with his true-blooded peers.

He learnt about how merpeople were formed- first by divine intervention, then procreation and rarely, like in his case, when a mortal with a great love for the sea gave his life away to it.

What Jeongin never understood, however, was why the merpeople that had resided in the waters next to his town decided to leave so suddenly.

When asked, he was told that the merpeople royal court had decided against further interaction with the humans with no explanation at all.

It was sad, he was told.The mer people loved the companionship of their land counterparts, and it pained them to leave the little town that had quenched their curiosities and accepted them without question.

He thought long and hard, over his tutelage, about what the relationship between the merpeople and his human ancestry could bring to the both of them- and then it struck him.

As a human child turned merperson, he could be the perfect conduit between both the worlds- a seawalker who could broker a peace with the landwalkers.

He threw himself into his studies with new vigour, for it felt like he had found a new purpose in life.

Jeongin rose through the ranks with just the lure of his voice-

For it was easy to accept his words, especially when they were paired with his easy charm, simple smiles and fox-like cunning now veiled behind new sapphire-blue locks.

His new home wondered about him,

“Is it true that he’s part siren??”

“His land family wasn’t his blood family, what’s to say he truly has our blood in him after all?

Atlantis took to calling him the Prince of Pearls, a fond nickname for the newest addition to their large family who had ideas bigger than them all, a heart filled with compassion and beliefs clad in iron and adamant.

Everybody knows about the seawalker from Atlantis, all midnight hair and trickster allure, the tale of a mortal from the wrong side of the sea now a voice of reason for everything he had learned to believe.

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theradioghost · 5 years

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some recs for my podcast mutuals who are burnt out on horror & sad plot stuff

aka I’ve been seeing a few flavors of people exhausted by several of the most popular podcasts around here being pretty dark right now & I have attempted to put together a tasting menu of some stuff I think might help alleviate that burnout (& which also deserves some more love)

1. I'm okay with stuff that’s still on the dark or macabre side, I'd just like something that isn’t 100% characters I care about suffering horribly all the time, maybe some laughs in there

The Beef and Dairy Network: Like a seriously disturbing body horror podcast, except British satirical comedy! About cows! You kind of have to listen to it to get what’s going on tbqh it’s nearly impossible to explain but if you like horror and are just tired of being depressed about it maybe try this one. NOT for the easily nauseated.

Wooden Overcoats: black comedy sitcom about two rival funeral homes on a small island, one run by The Most Perfect Man On Earth (tm) and the other run by two misanthropic twins with a knack for disaster (and their hypercompetent assistant (and a mouse who wants to be an author)). this one is about watching the protagonist suffer horribly all the time but like, this time it’s usually a lot funnier and honestly he deserves it

Death by Dying: (so far very short) dark comedy about the resident obituary writer of idyllic Crestfall, Idaho, who sets out to tell the stories of how the town’s residents died and ends up uncovering a lot of other things, like conspiracies, and man-eating cats, and a poet’s vanishing childhood home, and what his friend the Angel of Death isn’t telling him about what’s in the dark woods. has very strong ASOUE or Pushing Daisies vibes, that sort of dark whimsy and really distinct narrative voice

Arden: “true crime” comedy-ish mystery podcast feat. two of the best bickering hosts anywhere and a whole third host called homoerotic tension, trying to solve a decade-old Hollywood mystery. secretly a shakespeare adaptation. one of the hosts is michelle agresti. an airline run by killer robots is involved, somehow. it’s a perfect storm

2. I’m good with some plot and higher stakes, but I need something more kind and hopeful right now:

Middle:Below: 10-minute episodes about a man who travels between the worlds of the living and the dead to solve the problems of restless ghosts, and the three friends he does it with -- a ghost, a cat, and a writer. their tagline is “remember: bad things will happen.” this is basically a lie, this show is extremely sweet

Alba Salix: high fantasy medical workplace comedy about hospital staff in a fairytale-ish kingdom, namely one grouchy witch, one distracted fairy, and one extremely disgruntled teenager sentenced to community service. also comes with the miniseries The Axe And Crown, which is about a gay troll bartender, his clueless landlord, and his bombastic niece, and also is one of the most heartfelt touching pieces of audio fiction I’ve ever heard?

Dark Ages: also a high fantasy workplace comedy, but in this one the dysfunctional cast work at a magical natural history museum, which thanks to recent events is now hosting the mythical Dark Lord on top of all the usual problems caused by their complete incompetency.

Solutions to Problems: a sci-fi relationship advice show feat. human host Janet and alien host Loaf. also feat. banter, illegal time travel, what to do when the AI that controls the air you breathe is your on-again-off-again girlfriend, and how to avoid your many spouses when they insist you need to come back to the homeworld and spend some time with your spawn.

Victoriocity: steampunk buddy-comedy mystery show, in which misanthropic detective Archibald Fleet (aka Tom Crowley but he’s grouchy this time) and intrepid newbie journalist Clara Entwhistle (aka an absolute ray of sunshine) uncover some Secret Plots within the government of a very different victorian london. if you like the “opposing personalities come to care deeply about one another as friends” trope this one is for you

Inn Between: not an actual play, but a show about the developing relationships of a party of RPG-esque adventurers as they rest at the inn between campaigns. you don’t see the adventures, just the crew growing closer and learning about one another in their moments of peace.

The Strange Case of Starship Iris: sci-fi adventure about a stranded biologist and a ragtag crew of smugglers who set out to resist an authoritarian government, solve a mystery, and prevent a second human-alien war. as far as I can tell their plan for accomplishing this is to be as funny, gay, and adorable as possible, and to dismantle oppressive systems via the power of found family tropes. also via the power of linguistics.

3. just give me the fluffiest, funniest, sweetest, most relaxed, lowest-stakes thing you have:

Everything is Alive: meditative, deeply touching show where Guy From Public Radio holds interviews with inanimate objects. the interviews are super genuine and beautiful and I think they’re improvised, or at least they sound very natural? for people who want to be profoundly moved by a can of generic brand cola (you may not know but you are one of those people)

Standard Docking Procedure: a self-described “hopepunk” scifi sitcom about a group of employees on a space station, dealing with the little daily misadventures of difficult tourists, traffic control disasters, nonexistent love lives, and each other. Has an explicitly stated purpose of staying happy, lighthearted, and comforting.

Love and Luck: tied for absolute most heartwarming audio drama in existence. the story of the relationship between two Australian men, told through voicemail messages, as they fall in love, start a cafe, build a supportive and loving local queer community of close-knit friends and chosen family who help one another through thick and thin, and also find out that they can do magic apparently (IMPORTANT NOTE: there are some darker events and themes tackled in the plot starting around the latter half of the first season, but the focus of the story itself is always on how people support and help one another through trauma and difficulty, and the explicitly stated core premise of the show is that every character will have a happy ending and be okay.)

Quid Pro Euro: Look Around You-esque satire of old 80s and 90s instructional tapes where Felix Trench tells you what the European Union will look like in the far-off year of 2000. I don’t know anything about the European Union but I cackle like a witch when I listen to this

The Cryptonaturalist: I know you’ve seen his tweets. well it’s that but a podcast. just a man with an extremely nice voice talking about fantastical creatures like salamanders that swim through parking lot asphalt or foxes that roam the shelves of libraries at night. in between he reads poetry and generally talks about nature in the most beautiful way you could imagine. this show feels like a peaceful walk in the woods.

The Hidden Almanac: a podcast made 90% out of gentle fantasy worldbuilding, as a somewhat grumpy man in a plague doctor mask tells you about the history of his world and distributes gardening advice. has an immense archive of four-minute long episodes. it’s best to listen in order, because there is continuity, and be aware that about the first year or so has dropped off most feeds. written and performed by much-loved fantasy writer and artist Ursula Vernon and her husband Kevin.

Startripper!!: the other forerunner for most heartwarming audio drama in existence. seriously, you cannot imagine how much joy Startripper!! will bring into your life. it’s just the travelogue of one little alien with a heart full of enthusiasm and love setting out to see the universe and making friends along the way with just about everyone he meets, including his extremely loveable spaceship AI. I really mean it. listen to this show if you listen to nothing else.

Cabin Pressure: BBC radio workplace comedy about the dysfunctional crew of the world’s smallest airline. not only utterly hilarious but will tug on your heartstrings more than you could possibly imagine (this does not look at first like a found family story but it so very much is). warning for bendytoots cucumberpatch but like, in the one and only valid role he’s ever played. you definitely cannot find this show by searching its name on the Internet Archive.

#HEY DO YOURSELVES A SELF CARE! LISTEN TO SOME THINGS THAT ARE NICE! I LOVE YOU #bobbie recommends things #my posts #podcast recs

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biglittlesshop · 4 years

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Great Dane 5 Things You Should Know About This Woman Dog Mom She Loves Dogs More Than Human Tee Shirts

I didn’t know anything about this brand when I first bought it it was a Great Dane 5 Things You Should Know About This Woman Dog Mom She Loves Dogs More Than Human Tee Shirts good price and I needed some things so since I was there I picked a few stuff amazingly I really like the products the eye liner does wonders I love it. In response to last week s tatoosday post we got so many tattoos from last unicorn fans around the world that it will take months to showcase all of them to help make things go slightly faster than that and because it s neat to compare and contrast we re going to make today a two tattoosday post take a look at these very different approaches to showing the human and unicorn versions of peter s classic character in one image ashley knight schroeder s tattoo is beautifully stylized I just got this done on saturday the last unicorn has touched my life and helped me through many a rough patch even my sons will watch with me and sing talk along to the movie rippy s tattoos did the work I have no idea who did the original design I saw it and feel in love would love to find the original artist brittni lynn martin and her artist phil meyers from california opted for classic heartfelt look this movie has been my favorite since I was little and is now my favorite book and I have a 3 year old daughter who also loves it and we watch it together so it’s been a huge part of my life so beautiful both of these. The only way to protect your body from these dangerous toxins and reverse the damage that has been done is to use a natural nutritious cleansing program one that will give you exactly what your body needs to flush out all of the toxins that shouldn t be there and boost your metabolism at the same time an easy 3 day program with a complete shopping list and simple recipes that you can make from home without punishing depriving or starving your body start now 3 day cleanse with danette may detox program detox beauty diet fashion cleanse smoothie

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Great to have time to visit anton’s retrospective at bucerius kunst forum hamburg until january see you tomorrow night larr the Great Dane 5 Things You Should Know About This Woman Dog Mom She Loves Dogs More Than Human Tee Shirts no edge adam u2 u2eitour antoncorbijn. Diane kendal for nars cosmetics thakoon really wanted girls to look healthy and very american this beauty look is inspired by the 80’s super models cindy claudia linda and christie found in peter lindbergh’s photography skin is gorgeous makeup is fresh and beautifully groomed face concealer sheer glow foundation cheeks deep throat blush eyes last frontier velvet eyeliner smudge across eyes and lower lashline goddess velvet shadow stick audacious mascara brows matte eyeshadow shades blondie bali bengali coconut grove brow gel lips sex machine velvet matte lip pencil. Yesterday was a busy day of meetings and airplane travel for peter and connor but last night peter took some time to share his thoughts on the passing of the great christopher lee christopher lee was the tallest actor I ever knew he was also by far the most literate when we first met in a los angeles studio where he was recording his lines as king haggard in the last unicorn he had just recorded haggard’s speech about his first sight of unicorns and I mentioned that it was probably my favorite speech in the book he immediately wanted to know well did I do it properly we can always redo it right here of course he’d handled the lines perfectly but writers and writers’ opinions about their work mattered intensely to christopher that same afternoon we discovered that between the two of us we we could call to mind just about all the lines of g k chesterton’s poem the rolling english road we also discovered a mutual need to hit the men’s room and my son dan in his mid teens at the time still has a very clear memory of christopher simultaneously peeing while declaiming in that voice which no one could ever keep from imitating after fifteen minutes with him before the roman came to rye or out to severn strode the rolling english drunkard made the rolling english road a reeling road a rolling road that rambled round the shire and after him the parson ran the sexton and the squire I leave it to the reader to imagine that voice in the tiled acoustics of a hollywood bathroom we met a second time in munich where the last unicorn was being dubbed into german most of my memories of that time and of chris lee have to do with books and authors he had known both j r r tolkien and a writer who mattered more to me t h white we had a long ongoing argument in munich about a chapter of the sword in the stone that appears in the english edition of the book but not in the american one he turned out to be right he usually was he never failed to mention the last unicorn as one of his very favorite books and as one of the movies he was most proud of having made indeed he left my whopperjawed as mark twain would have put it when we were being interviewed together on austrian television and he announced oh yes I simply couldn’t resist a chance to play king haggard one more time even in another language after all and he looked straight into the camera it’s the closest they’ll ever let me get to playing king lear the camera swung toward me to catch my stunned reaction and chris looked across the studio at me and winked but my most vivid memory chilling as it remains to this day has to do with the day that I and michael chase walker associate producer of the last unicorn and the one who really got the film made in the first place somehow found our way out to dachau I can’t now recall how we managed it considering that neither one of us spoke german and that you had to take both a subway and a bus to get there from the hotel where the crew were staying but we got there somehow and spent a good half of the day roaming with other tourists around a legendary concentration camp peering blindly into the huge crematoriums but staring with equal horror and fascination at the endless rows of filing cabinets containing every record of every human being who was ever imprisoned starved gassed or simply worked to death in this place michael and I grew quieter and quieter that afternoon until by the time we started back to munich we weren’t speaking at all I think we both felt that we might say anything in words again the first person we met in the hotel lobby was christopher he took one look at us and announced you’ve been to dachau we nodded without answering chris strode toward us looked all the way down from his six foot five inch altitude lowered his voice and inquired still smells doesn’t it with the end of world war ii christopher as a member of the special forces and whose five or six languages included fluent german had been assigned to hunt down and interrogate nazi war crminals and had been present at the liberation of dachau and yes the smell of death had undoubtedly faded somewhat since 1945 but it was still as real as michael and me wandering dazedly between the ovens and the filing system we just didn’t know what it was but christopher did and i’d know it again I never saw him again after munich though we spoke on the telephone a few times on the last occasion when I had called to wish him a happy 90th birthday I remember him assuring me that if by the time you come to make your live action version of your movie I have passed on do not let it concern you I have risen from the dead several times I know how it’s done he worked almost to the last as the real artists of every kind do they work to be working because that’s what they do and they die when they stop I always regarded him as the last of the great 19th century actors that bravura larger than life style went with him no modern rada trained performer would ever attempt it today nor should they it would inevitably come out parody however earnestly meant yet there was always more to christopher lee as an actor than dracula or the mummy or saruman or sherlock holmes for that matter though he was very proud of having played not only both holmes and watson but sherlock’s brother mycroft as well lord summerisle of the original the wicker man probably his favorite of his own movies is most likely closer to chris’s dark benignity than any other role he ever inhabited I believe this because lord summerisle sings a surprising amount in that movie and chris passionately loved singing if there is any such thing as an afterlife or reincarnation I truly hope no believe that christopher lee will return as a wagnerian opera singer if he hadn’t been considered too old in his 30s to be accepted for formal vocal training he might have been in his own eyes at least a happier more fulfilled man but we would have been deeply poorer for it and never have known See Other related 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mysterylover123 · 5 years

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My 12 Favorite BKDK Meta Posts

by mysterylover123

So you might have picked up, if you’re following my posts, that I like BKDK. Katsudeku. Bakudeku. Izukatsu. Whatever you call it. Shipping Izuku Midoriya and Katsuki Bakugo. I love this freaking pairing so much, but it’s always difficult to explain to people why that is. That’s why I often will point to meta, written by far more eloquent and organized people than me, to explain what about it interests me so much. So here’s a list (not comprehensive, I can’t read every BKDK meta ever written) of my favorite meta on the two’s relationship, and a shout out to my other lovely tumblr posters, organized in order of when the incident they’re covering takes place, how many spoilers there are, etc.

1. Ryokure “Deku vs Kacchan”

https://ryokure.tumblr.com/post/147489960804/deku-vs-kacchan

Ryokure is one of my favorite BKDK meta writers - great at correcting some of the early mistranslations and analyzing most of the early arcs. The Ryokure meta only go up to about the training camp arc, and for some reason stopped after that. I picked this one as my favorite Ryokure BKDK meta, it’s a rare one that covers the Battle Trial Arc. My favorite line from the meta is the ending: “On this point I’m like 80% sure that Mineta’s existence, Yaoyorozu‘s stupid costume (come on, she’s fifteen! it’s too early to be objectified!), etc are there so people wouldn’t think that this is shounen-ai.”

2. PunkBakugo: “Deku and Bakugo’s subconscious understanding: A Sports Festival Analysis”

https://punkbakugo.tumblr.com/post/169830270570/kacchan-dekus-subconscious-understanding-a

I’m currently rewatching the sports festival right now, and despite this being the big Tododeku and Izuocha arc, it’s pretty impressive how subtly pervasive BKDK still is in this arc anyways. This meta is very impressive, pointing out small details throughout the SF arc that showcase how central BKDK still is to the narrative, the ways in which Deku takes inspiration from BK, how BK fixates on Midoriya, and how they think in similar manners. It’s also quite well-written, and I recommend this poster if you’d like the POV of a non multi-shipper tumblr.

3. The-nysh “Episode 37 Commentary”

https://the-nysh.tumblr.com/post/165680156361/bnha-episode-37-commentary

The-nysh is another great BKDK poster, and I have at least 2 from them. The first is their very in-depth and image-heavy commentary on Episode 37 (they have another one on episode 61 that’s just as good), which provides some nice analysis of BKDK in this arc. The second is this one: https://the-nysh.tumblr.com/post/171252060116/whats-your-opinon-of-kiribaku-and-tododeku , which while it’s mostly about the poster’s opinions on the other two ships, has a few choice snippets about BKDK that I find helpful - one is also in connection with Ryokure, to quote: “Deku is such a super special case that if a fanfic has him and Kacchan in it - no matter the parings - and they don’t have some case of mutual obsession, I actually consider that OOC.” Definitely another good meta writer worth checking out.

4. Osakakitty “Vol 10 Katsudeku thoughts ramblings”

https://osakakitty.tumblr.com/post/167402985369/vol-10-katsudeku-thoughtsramblings

This one is a good analysis of the Training Camp Arc and Hideout Raid. Osakakitty has some very sweet BKDK meta and generally writes very close analysis of them, taking a more emotional stance on the pairing than some of the meta before. There’s a very raw quality to these, a feeling of reacting in time to the story as it unfolds and getting your heart broken. This one does a good job of outlining how deeply personal the Hideout Raid is to Deku, because it was Kacchan who was taken. Definitely worth a read.

5. KiraElric’sInsanity: “What is your favorite Headcanon about Izuku”

http://kiraelric.tumblr.com/post/154543674203/what-is-your-favorite-headcanon-about-izuku

KiraElric was one of the first meta writers I encountered with BNHA, and really helped me get a grasp on the series. She has tons of great meta on the series and a really fine grasp of BKG’s character. There are lots of them worth reading, but this is one of my all time favorites because of how thoroughly in depth it is about Izuku’s feelings on the matter. Since Deku is unquestionably my favorite BNHA character, it was very important for me early on to determine who I shipped him with, how I perceived his relationships. And something about this meta helped me understand exactly why I liked BKDK so much. But if you want more of the other side of things...

6. KiraElric’sInsanity: “My Best Friend’s a Fxcking Nerd and an idiot God he pisses me Off”

http://kiraelric.tumblr.com/post/158423114578/my-best-friends-a-fucking-nerd-and-an-idiot-god

This is BKG’s side of the coin. This meta helps contextualize a lot of BKG’s actions, in a way that made a ton of sense to me. This, and the one before it, both contain spoilers up to DVK2, so if you haven’t caught up just be aware of that. This meta does a great job of spotlighting how important Deku is as a force in BKG’s life, as someone to talk to and admit to feeling weak around, who cares about him unconditionally. These two meta together are great to read for getting an all around feel for each side of the relationship.

7. KrisPNatz “What’s in an OTP? Bakudeku”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ay8TbIzMh-E

OK this one’s a video, not a tumblr meta, but it’s still an analysis on the relationship so I count it. It’s more of a funny one, joking and goofy in tone, but with a very sincere and passionate discussion of the relationship, what it means to ship something, how their interactions have evolved over time, and why the creator of the vid ships them. This one’s less analytical than the others, but still has some good insights into the duo.

8. Makeste reads BNHA: “Chapter 120 A Secret Among Three”

https://makeste.tumblr.com/post/181564960173/bnha-chapter-120-a-secret-among-three

Makeste is my favorite BNHA liveblogger, going over the entire manga (she just posted Chapter 221 today, it’s pretty great). This is her reaction to Chapter 120, which she proclaims right away is her favorite chapter of the series. While it’s mostly a reaction post, it’s also interrupted with a few mini-essay meta on the nature of this relationship, going into some deep analysis of both characters’ feelings from a very attentive and clever reactor, whose absolute favorite character is Katsuki Bakugo. I recommend makeste to BNHA fans, the reactions are absolutely fantastic.

9. CuteIzuku “Izuku Midoriya’s Image of Victory”

https://cuteizuku.tumblr.com/post/178341507379/izuku-midoriyas-image-of-victory

This is a good meta on Deku’s classic “image of victory” comment from DVK2, going into some more depth about how Deku perceives Kacchan and what that means for the narrative. It also helps compare Deku’s perceptions of Katsuki and All Might, how Deku feels towards both, and what the differences are. It’s a nicely written piece and not particularly biased about the ship.

10. Mujoe-girl “The Way They Look at each other

https://mujoe-girl.tumblr.com/post/148453703491/katsudeku-the-way-they-look-at-each-other

Another one that looks at both sides of the equation, parcelling out first how Deku looks at Kacchan, then how Kacchan looks at Deku, and acknowledging both sides and how they’ve changed over time. It’s pretty subtle and touches on various extreme expressions (one of my favorite things about BNHA: how expressive the characters are) from each character and what they mean. Certainly worth a read.

11. Riruru “The Choice of Wording Here”

https://rirururu.tumblr.com/post/181106272152/the-choice-of-wording-used-here-is-something-that

OK, this one is getting into really recent manga spoilers - avoid looking over this, anime onlys. Basically this is a brief, but effective meta about Chapter 210, written after 210 came out and before the reveal about OFA. It talks about Deku’s reaction to Monoma’s dissing Kacchan, and puts it quite well exactly why this is significant to their relationship. This is a really recent development, and something that went over my head the first time I read it - certainly helped me understand more what’s going on here.

12. Makeste “The New BKDK Status Quo”

https://makeste.tumblr.com/post/184123732903/yes-the-new-bakudeku-status-quo-of-excitedly

Another one from makeste to finish us off - this one discussing the current status of BK/DK in the manga, up through Chapter 217. So again massive spoilers. Makeste, responding to a comment, talks about how the relationship is so much healthier these days, how the two have improved and how much better a friend BKG is to Deku now, post DVK2. It’s very sweet and a lovely place to end things off for now.

So yeah those are my 12 favorite BKDK meta out there so far. Any recommendations for more are welcome. I hope you guys enjoy reading these, and special nod to all my fellow posters for being so clever.

#my hero academia #my hero academia meta #bnha meta #bakudeku #katsudeku #izukatsu #bkdk #bkdk meta #katsudeku meta #bakudeku meta #tumblr meta #otp #ship post

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kazosa · 5 years

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A Mutually Beneficial Arrangement - Part 5

Summary: All you wanted was to use your skills in automotive engineering and design to open your own custom car shop. When the rug gets yanked out from under you, one of your regular customers offers you a job that you just can’t resist. Will it stay a mutually beneficial arrangement, or will something unexpected bloom?

Pairing: AU Dean Winchester x Reader

Appearances by: John Winchester, Bobby Singer, Ellen (Harvelle) Singer, Sam Winchester, Jessica Moore, OC Ryan

Chapter Synopsis: Dean and the reader get their nails done. Old issues and new ones get discussed whether they like it or not. Reader goes to look for Dean and they have a quiet moment to talk.

Word count: 8440

Warnings: implied smut. Confrontations. Language. Hot toddy consumption.

Masterlist

Tagging: @coffee-obsessed-writer @closetspngirl @sorenmarie87 @adoptdontshoppets @parinarain @his-paradox @babykalika2001

@docharleythegeekqueen @22sarah08 @flamencodiva @deans-baby-momma @collette04 @maralisa124 @mml232 @sympathyforluci

@superthingsilike @cartoonki113r @lookwhatyoumademequeue @jxnnxbrxwn @winchest09 @sandlee44

This wasn’t part of your arrangement, one hell of a benefit, but not what was meant by your mutually beneficial arrangement. You were there to do a job, get your money, and go home to make your dream job a reality. Dean was great, more than great, but was it a good idea to start something with a guy who, more than once, said he didn’t have time for a girlfriend? You’d pinched pennies for years to make your dream come true. Could you manage your dream and have Dean, too?

And what about Dean? You knew he liked you, that was clear, but would he still want you after the job was over? Sure, he’d said so, but you’d heard promises before. He said he didn’t want it to end, but was it just talk? Experience had taught you that men would say anything to get in your pants, then ditch you as soon as they got what they wanted. Dean didn’t seem like the others, though, you’d been wrong before.

Behind you, his body was warm and firm with his arm over your side, but not clutching you. His breath was steady and even on your shoulder. You knew you should give him a chance. He didn’t treat you like the others had. He didn’t take what he wanted, he gave you what you needed and he was really, really good at it…

You knew what you wanted, you just hoped he did, too. Burrowing back into him, he stirred at your movement and you pulled his hand up by your chest. He pulled you more into his body and buried his face in your neck, breathing deeply of your scent.

“What time is it?” his voice was muffled by your neck.

“I don’t know, and I don’t care,” you said softly.

“Good,” he nuzzled in, “we don’t have anything going on today, let’s stay in bed.”

Staying in bed with Dean would have been your choice over anything else, if you hadn’t told Jess you would go with her and Sam. For a few more, precious minutes, you enjoyed the feel of him wrapped around your body. Telling him meant possibly breaking that connection.

As soon as you said, “About that…,” Dean’s body tensed, and he shifted slightly backward.

“What?”

“I was talking with Jess yesterday…”

“Jess? What did the ice princess say?”

“She invited us to get mani/pedis with her and Sam,” you told him, holding his arm around you.

“Do I look like some kind of male model to you?” he scoffed at such an outrageous notion.

You smirked at his half-hearted outrage and rolled your body so you could look at him. Propping yourself up on an elbow, you looked down at his sleepy face. He had a three-day growth of stubble on his face and you thought it actually made him better looking. You drew your finger along the line of his jaw feeling the rasp as it moved toward his chin. You smiled thinking of the places on your body that were still tender from him…

“I don’t know about that, but I’d take you on any day of the week and twice on Sunday,” you closed the small space between you to kiss him.

He reached for her again, not seeming to get enough. Her lips were so soft and still so eager for him. He hoped she always felt that way because he could devour her over and over. The night before, he couldn’t keep his hands off of her. Ever since he started going to the garage, she’d caught his eye. He told himself to stay away, reasoning that he didn’t have time, but a hot chick who knew more about cars than him? It was like asking fire not to burn. He should have just asked her out right away.

“Don’t try to change the subject,” she continued. Her voice said she was annoyed, but her face was still soft and warm.

“No way am I letting some person touch my feet and pretty them up. They’re feet, not… well, I don’t know but it’s just not happening.”

“I double dare you,” her nail traced the tattoo on his chest.

“I’m not painting my nails. I’d never hear the end of it at the brewery,” he said.

(Y|N) was half lying on his chest, looking at him with those sultry (Y|EC) eyes of hers.

“Might be kinda hot if you did,” she kissed the spot just under his ear, giving him goosebumps despite the heat of their bodies. “All those bad-ass action stars you love all get manicures… And you and Sam can have guy time. Talk shit out. I double-dog dare you.”

It was getting hard, difficult, to concentrate with her naked body on his and kissing him the way she was. He needed to go to a calm place before he lost control and agreed to something he didn’t want to do.

“Guy-time is not two dudes getting their nails done,” he moaned as she made her way to his mouth. Her tongue teasing at his.

“You two need to talk,” she said softly, nibbling at his lip, “clear the air. I triple-dog dare you.”

“You skipped the triple dare,” he was losing the battle.

“I really want to get my nails done,” she said playfully.

He held her leg over his hip and rolled with her onto her back. Her breath was hot on his ear as she planted her foot and adjusted her hips under him. She has to know what she’s doing to me, right?

“Alright, fine, but I want to see you at the range in overalls,” it was his turn to kiss in her neck. He was rewarded with her fingers raking through his hair and down his back. The last bit of his restraint was being tested. (Y|N) was writhing under him, responding to his every touch.

“Anything… God… anything,” her voice hushed as she kissed him.

“You can call me Dean,” he teased as he entered her body.

This time, when you woke up, you and Dean were a tangle of limbs and bedding.

Thump thump thump

There was no energy left to move. Dean and you had made love four times and you were 80% sure you couldn’t get out of bed if the house were on fire.

Thump thump thump

Dean was lying in a position that couldn’t possibly be comfortable, his leg slung over yours. You still felt tired and couldn’t figure out why you woke up.

THUMP THUMP THUMP

“Hey, you guys decent in there?”

The voice was deep and slightly amused, it had to be Sam. Neither of you were anywhere close to being decent and the bedding was a twisted mess between you. You gave Dean a smack on his shoulder to wake him up.

“Dean!” you whisper yelled.

“Uuuuhhnnn,” he groaned.

“Wake up!”

“Screw consciousness, that’s what I say,” he mumbled and shifted his position next to you.

“No, damnit, wake up! Sam is at the door and I can’t move,” you urged.

Dean sighed heavily as the knocking returned. With a loud groan, Dean got out of bed and you were graced by the sight of his naked form walking across the room. For one horrifying second, you thought he was going to the bedroom door bare-ass naked. You enjoyed the view, but you doubted his brother would. As he got closer, Dean veered off to the closet to throw on a robe.

“Dean?” Sam’s voice asked through the door.

“Hold on, Sammy,” answered Dean.

“Good, you’re alive,” Sam said, his voice lower.

Dean gave you a quick glance as you finally got untangled and covered up to your chin. A devilish grin crossed his features as he reached for the door handle.

“Hey Sam, what’s the rush,” Dean said after opening the door. Interrupting quality time with my lady.

“Jess said you two might be going with us to the salon?”

Dean’s gut reaction was to tell Sam ‘no’, but he had made a deal with (Y|N). He would do the nail thing just to see her in the overalls, and nothing else.

“I can’t believe I’m about to say this,” he said under his breath. “Yeah, super excited about it, too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, why not?”

“OK, cool. Can you be ready in an hour? We were thinking brunch first,” Sam wanted to know.

Dean looked over at you for confirmation… or, was it accusation? You nodded and your stomach gave a grateful rumble.

“Sure thing,” Dean said and closed the door when Sam left.

Two and a half hours later, you and Dean were full from brunch and Sam was pulling up to the salon. You were in the back seat with Dean. When you looked over at Dean, you thought he seemed uncomfortable and not just from a full stomach.

“I feel weird,” he said.

“It’s your fault for sampling everything on the buffet,” you reminded with a grin.

He looked up at the sign for the salon, “Everyone at brunch was staring.”

You knew it was because of all the food he ate, plus the bandaged forehead that contributed to the staring. Not to mention, the sight of both Winchester sons in the same place was something to behold. Both brothers were quite tall and very handsome. It didn’t help that people were trying to get a look at you, too. Word spreads quickly in small towns and you could feel their eyes on you just as much as they were on Dean and Sam.

“They were probably looking at both of us. Probably wondering who would willingly be seen with you in public,” you teased.

Sam put the vehicle in park and the four of you got out of the car to go inside for your appointment. As soon as you both stepped inside, you could feel Dean getting ready to bolt.

“Do I have to do this,” he whispered to you.

“Yes. Suck it up, buttercup,” you answered.

“You don’t have to go to the range with me,” he’d gone into full panic-mode now.

Sam and Jess were at the counter talking to the clerk about what they needed. Jess had pulled a few strings to get you all in and you were not about to pass on the opportunity. Turning to him, you slipped your arms inside his unzipped jacket and up his back, pressing yourself into him.

“I’d go to the range with you anyway. This isn’t just some girly thing to do with Jess. It’s time for me to get to know them and for you to talk with Sam,” you kissed his chin and smiled at the worried look on his face that was slowly resolving to his fate. “They massage your legs and hands, too. Arnold Schwarzenegger does it.”

Dean saw a water tank with small fish swimming inside.

“What the hell is that?”

“You put your feet in, and the little fish eat your dead skin,” you explained.

“Oh, hell no, those little piranhas aren’t touching me!”

“Okay, tough guy, no piranhas,” you laughed. “You gonna get color on your nails? They have black.”

“Don’t push it,” he said.

Jess spoke from behind you, “C’mon, (Y|N). We’ll get our toes done first. These two can get their hands done.”

Dean spoke softly into your ear, “Careful,” then placed a kiss on your temple.

You thought he was being a little dramatic, but you nodded anyway and left him to go with Jess.

“I thought you and I could get to know each other and let those two talk,” she said like you knew what she meant. “How was skating? Anything interesting, other than macho man Dean, happen?”

So much had happened yesterday, it was hard to pick out one thing to start.

“Missouri Mosley,” you said.

“Did she tell you something profound?” Jess half-mocked.

“I don’t know if ‘profound’ is the word, but she did say Dean was waiting for me,” you said, feeling a blush rise to your cheeks.

Jess tipped her head and made a face that agreed with Missouri.

“I can’t say if you’re the one who Dean was waiting for, but that’s tough to argue,” Jess admitted.

“How so?”

“He really hasn’t been serious with anyone since I’ve known him. How did you catch his eye? He’s always been so adamant that his job was more important,” Jess was curious.

“I have no idea,” you admitted. “I always thought he was good-looking, seemed like a decent guy from what I saw of him... Customers always hit on me, but not him. I broke a personal rule for him, too.”

“Don’t date clients?”

You nodded.

“Maybe you were waiting for him, too,” she suggested.

It hadn’t occurred to you that maybe you were waiting for him. You hadn’t been lonely, by any means, but they’d mostly been casual.

“Was it Laura?” you asked. “His last serious one?”

Jess nodded, “As far as I know, yes.”

Dean being so mad at Benny made a lot more sense. It was almost like Benny had gotten the life Dean should have been living.

“She’s awful though!” you observed.

Jess snorted, “I like you!” She giggled a little more, then, “I think things worked out for the best whit that whole situation. Woman thinks she is God’s gift…”

“So, what does that mean for Benny when John retires? It seems like Benny would be the next logical step,” you wondered.

“(Y|N),” Jess turned her head to look at you full on, “Winchesters do not follow logic. Things are a bit sideways considering Adam, too.”

“Adam? The kid from the ice rink place? What does he have to do with anything?”

Jess shifted in her seat, “Jesus, I thought he told you…”

“Told me what?”

“I’m surprised, Dean,” Sam said, sitting down. “I never thought you’d do this.”

“(Y|N) can be very persuasive,” he admitted.

“I like her. She seems like a good match for you.”

“Thanks, Sam. That actually means a lot.”

“Look, Dean, not that it isn’t great to see you, but… what are you doing here? I thought you were done with Dad’s yearly spectacle.”

Sam wasn’t wrong, but Dean didn’t really want to get into an argument in public. It was already bad enough being back, but also, everyone in town seemed to know who they were. John Winchester and his businesses employed a lot of people.

“Want to make sure the ol’ man knows I’m still alive,” Dean retorted.

“Dad knows you’re alive. He just hyper-focused on me after mom died,” Sam was trying to make him feel better.

“Yeah, I’m sure he felt guilty,” Dean grumbled. “Don’t you think it’s messed up that Dad keeps bringing him here?

“Bringing who here? What do you mean?”

“C’mon, Sam! Mom would still be here if Dad hadn’t messed around. Now we’ve got this… this… constant reminder of what happened. It’s like he’s trying to push us away and what about the business? Is Dad going to just give it to him?”

“Dean, why do you even care about the business? If I remember right, you couldn’t wait to leave.”

“Of course, that’s how you remember it. You always were the golden child.”

“Come again?” Sam didn’t know what Dean was thinking, he remembered his childhood quite differently. “Dad did nothing but push me to get good grades and join every team and activity that came along. I had no time for myself or to have friends.”

“Poor you. Who left college to come back and pick up the pieces? He was a mess for years. He forgets who it was working like a pack horse calling all the shots. Then I would go home, make sure he didn’t drink himself to death and help you with your homework. I barely slept for three years. I will not just sit and watch him hand it off to his bastard.”

Sam’s eyes were wide as he quickly looked at the nail techs. They’d stopped working to watch the exchange. When they noticed, they jumped back to work again.

“Maybe we should talk about this back at the house?”

“Why?! What difference does it make? Dad’s burned every bridge already. No one is going to build one for him. Everyone knows he’s an asshole,” it felt good to get it out. “It takes a special kind of prick to bring the reason your wife is dead to the party, and at her favorite holiday. She should be alive and it’s his fault she’s not. And why do you care what happens to the business, you just want to sell it first chance you get.”

His words hit their mark. Sam didn’t know Dean had found out about that particular option that he’d been considering.

“How did you…” Sam sputtered.

“Do you really think you can shop the business around and not have people check on it? I thought you were the smart one?”

“Jess and I talked about it,” Sam cleared his throat, “we were just putting feelers out there. The plan is to keep it all running and everyone still employed.” He looked at the nail techs and smiled.

Dean rolled his eyes. Sam was always the diplomat. He said he didn’t have political aspirations, but the sale of the business would sure fund a lot of campaigning. Conversation after that was terse at best. It had been good to air it out, but the potential repercussions after his outburst weighed on him. Telling Sam was one thing, bringing it up with his dad was another. It was a discussion that needed to happen, it was just a matter of when.

Not forgetting about the gala and your dress, you chose an emerald green color for your nails and gold highlights. Tasteful and elegant. Of course, you’d heard what was said when Dean was getting his done, the whole salon had. The parts you hadn’t caught, Jess filled you in. Adam seemed like a nice kid who was getting a raw deal. You couldn’t blame him for wanting to try in spite of the resistance. John, however, just seemed all the more scummy for it. It wouldn’t have surprised you, at all, if he were, indeed, deliberately trying to hurt his older sons. There had to be a better way.

You and Jess were finished first and Sam was almost done. Dean, however, was not. Seeing the empty chair between the two brothers, you took the space for yourself. You put your hand on top of his newly manicured hand, no polish.

“You’re doing great, honey. Remember to breathe,” you teased.

“Very funny,” he said through gritted teeth.

You rubbed your thumb between the spaces in the bones of his hand.

“No polish, I see. Kinda disappointed, not gonna lie,” you really didn’t care, you were just trying to distract him.

“I don’t need that crap. This is enough,” he said.

The technician had taken her time to do a good job. It did make you wonder if it was to get more juicy gossip, or if Dean’s nails were just that much of a mess. Dean had aired a lot of dirty laundry during the mani portion. But now, Dean had a perfect pedi, even if he didn’t have polish. The tech gave him the final rubdown and the okay to go.

“Very pretty, babe,” you patted his hand and got ready to leave the salon.

Held hostage in the back seat of Sam’s car, Sam and Jess took you on a tour around Lawrence before heading back to Lebanon. You tried to politely decline, but they insisted. By the time you got back to Lebanon, the effects of the night before were catching up with you and you were practically sleeping on Dean.

Dean managed to get (Y|N) out of the car and up the stairs to his room. He almost felt bad about keeping her up all night, but she had woken him up twice, too. She climbed on top of the comforter and almost went back to sleep immediately. He pulled a heavy blanket from the chest at the foot of the bed and covered her with it. She looked like a worn-out angel lying in his bed. Bending down, he placed a light kiss on her forehead, thinking she was already napping.

“Where are you going?” She asked drowsily, not opening her eyes.

“Need to go have a talk with Dad,” he said, truthfully.

“Don’t kill him, just hurt him real bad,” she said.

That caught him off guard.

“Are you even awake,” he asked.

“Mmhmm. Still your dad… and a felony,” she said.

He snickered at her comment.

“No promises.”

He left the room as quietly as he could and headed for the stairs. He just hoped that she wouldn’t hear what was about to go down. Winchester “talks” tended to get loud. What he hadn’t expected was to see his father at the bottom of the stairs waiting for him.

“We need to talk, son,” John said.

When Dean made the turn at the bottom landing, he could see that the room held Bobby, Ellen, Sam, and Jess. He hadn’t seen them before because he’d been so focused on his dad.

“What’s going on here? Is this an intervention or something?”

“We need to talk to you about this ‘relationship’ you have with (Y|N),” John elaborated.

“‘We’ huh?” He looked around at the people in the room. Jess was the only one who looked like she would rather be doing anything else. Feeling a little bit like he was backed into a corner, he went on, “What do you think ‘we’ all need to say about the woman I’m going to marry?”

“How about you come sit down so we can say our piece,” Ellen tried to persuade him.

He’d lost control of the situation before it even began. If he’d had hackles, they’d be raised.

“Sure, why the hell not,” he took the open chair near the door. If things went bad and he needed to cool off, the door was just a few steps away. “Who wants to go first? I’m sure it’s all going to be just aces.”

John rolled his eyes and moved into a spot near the center of the room. Dean eyed Bobby sitting to his left. At least Bobby had the decency to look guilty.

“Dean,” John began, “we all know she’s not really your girlfriend.” John raised his hand to stop his son from speaking. “Women like her don’t just magically find a guy like you and settle down.”

“For the hundredth time, she is not a stripper or a prostitute. Her best friend told me she hadn’t dated anyone seriously for years before me. And she didn’t find me, I found her. I asked HER out. And I’m damn lucky she said yes. Jesus. A simple Google search will tell you who she is, but I suppose you would still think that she was a prostitute,” Dean was getting close to losing his temper. “What else do we need to ‘talk’ about?”

“How about the first morning you two were here? She came down the stairs and into the kitchen where I was cooking breakfast for my family. She walks in giving me ‘the look.’” He waited for Dean’s reaction. All he got was his son’s eyes snapping over to his. “Yeah, you know the one. Thought she was just appreciating where the good looks were coming from, then she just kept on it. She couldn’t even answer simple questions about her own fiancé.”

Dean couldn’t roll his eyes any harder, “You think you know everything. What did you ask her?”

“How you take your coffee.”

“And you think she answered wrong,” it wasn’t a question. (Y|N) and he had talked about everything. It had been so easy to talk to her. And whatever she may not have known the answer to, she was crazy intuitive and could practically guess what he was thinking.

“I asked her if she wanted to take cream and sugar and she said no.”

“I take it black when I have a hangover. Why are you so dead set on dragging her down? Why can’t you just accept it? I’m marrying her and that’s the end of the story.”

“How does the girl take her coffee,” Bobby asked.

Dean had a moment of panic. He didn’t remember talking about that with her. If they had, he’d forgotten what she had said. He just hoped that his fear didn’t show on his face.

“She doesn’t like coffee,” he said victoriously when it suddenly came to him. She always had a soda.

“And it has nothing to do with me and Jess getting engaged? I know you want the business and Dad has certain requirements,” Sam said cautiously.

“She's just like the rest of them, after his money. So easily bought off,” John slipped.

John's words had brought the room to dead silence. The only sound made was the rustle of fabric as Dean got up from his chair and closed the space between he and his father.

“Come again?” Dean eyed John, the sound of steel in his voice.

“You know exactly what I mean. Those women you would see… strippers and gold diggers. All it took was a simple phone call for most of them.” John couldn't believe Dean had never seen those women for what they were. “I did you a favor and got rid of them before they took you for everything you had.”

“You had NO RIGHT to do that!” Dean's blood was boiling.

“Tell me, Dean, how much has (Y|N) gotten out of you?”

“Always trying to run my life… Good. I'm glad you paid them off, but it was a waste of money. None of them were anything more than a good time. It's funny you get so concerned about the type of women I spend time with when you bring your bastard son down here every Christmas parading him around. What do you get out of that? Are you showing him what could be his, or is it some sick twist about what he can't have?”

“John, don’t you think you’re being a little hard on the boy?” Bobby said from his space on the couch.

“Stay out of it, Bobby, he’s MY son,” John growled.

“Then ACT like it!” Bobby shot back.

Bobby had already risen from his seat and Ellen followed, ready to back him up if needed. Deciding they’d had enough of the “talk,” they made their way into the kitchen.

Sam moved to the edge of his seat to listen. Dean had always been the more hesitant of the two of them to fight with their father. It had been a long time since they'd aired out their issues and he wanted to make sure he heard everything his brother had to say.

“This isn't about me or Adam. This is about the farce you and that girl have been running the moment you came here,” John continued, completely disregarding Bobby. “For the record, Adam is my son, as you so delicately pointed out. I don't need to have a motive to invite him here.”

“No, Dad. It is all about you. You make us feel like we have to compete for your love and attention, and you've treated Benny more like a son than me. He got my old job and even married Laura, just like you wanted me to do.” Dean let himself calm down and think if he'd left anything out. “You know what? I don’t give a shit anymore. Give it to whoever you want.”

“Maybe if you didn’t make such epic bad decisions, you wouldn’t be in this mess right now,” John shot back.

“My life is a mess? Let’s talk about your bad decisions, Dad. You want to tell Sam why our mother is dead?” Dean barely waited for John to answer and when he didn’t, Dean continued, “Sam, Mom found out that Dad had been screwing around on her. Not just with Adam’s mother, but other women, too. All those out of town trips… Nancy Mulligan was the one that caught his eye, though. Mom found out about Adam, and all of the other women, the same night she died. Got in the car and tore off, lost control and wrecked. I may make bad decisions in my personal life, but (Y|N) isn’t one of them and I sure as hell never got anyone killed over one.”

It happened quickly after that. John didn’t have far to reach to throw the first punch. Dean saw it coming and dodged it, throwing a right cross into John’s ribs. Jess had slipped out of the way, not wanting to get caught in the middle. She was glad that Dean finally gotten it off his chest, but she hated how it had happened...

For the last few days, Dean had practically been attached to your hip. At first, you thought he was doing it to protect you or make you feel comfortable around his family. Now that dinner was almost ready and he’d been absent from for you for over an hour, you missed the comfort of his warm, solid presence next to you.

When you followed your nose to the kitchen and Dean wasn’t there, you got worried. Jess and Sam were there having a hot toddy with Ellen and Bobby. Sam looked a little guilty and Jess could barely make eye contact.

“What’s going on? Where’s Dean?” you wanted to know.

Sam’s free hand patted the top of the hand holding the toddy.

“He’s probably out in the barn. He likes to bang the dents out of wrecks in there… after an argument with Dad.” Sam cleared his throat and furtively glanced at you.

Jess didn’t say anything to you, she just handed you the thermos. She had an apologetic look on her face. Worried even more, you slipped on your boots and pulled on Dean’s hoodie that was hanging on a peg by the back door. Making sure you had the thermos; you went outside in search of your fiancé.

Even if you didn’t know where it was, you would have been able to find it easily. The unmistakable sound of metal on metal was mixed in with the blaring sound of Motorhead. It sounded more like Dean was putting dents in than taking them out. Rubber mallets sounded different…

As you got closer, the big door was open wide enough to let a car pass through. A light, peaceful snow was falling now that it was almost dark, and in contrast to the clanging coming from the barn. The clanging suddenly stopped, followed by a loud grunt.

Walking into a big wooden barn, you’d expected to see combines, tractors, and various other farm implements. It wasn’t that kind of barn. Instead, cars lined each side from the front all the way to the back. In some places, other cars were blocked in by the ones in front. You assumed the nicer cars were the ones that had covers on them as you easily spotted the unmistakable shape of a ’68 Corvette Stingray.

About halfway down the line, one car was uncovered, the cover piled on the barn floor. The loud music was coming from inside the car where Dean sat with the door open.

His hands were numb from beating the rusted old hood that was hanging on the wall. He was still angry but destroying the hood wouldn’t fix that. He swung the crowbar as hard as he could into one of the support beams, burying the teeth in the post.

There weren’t many lights inside the barn and the ones that were, were under the loft. When he first saw her, he thought maybe it was Jess coming to tell him (Y|N) heard everything and was leaving, making him feel even worse.

She leaned down by the front tire then came around by the open door and stood in the opening.

“Big sound coming from the old girl,” it was (Y|N).

She leaned into the car, putting her hand on the steering wheel for balance. Her other hand was reaching for the radio and she changed it to a Christmas station. When he tried to change it back, (Y|N) slapped his hand away.

“Don’t you dare,” she said.

Somehow, when she slipped back out of the car, she’d grabbed his wrist and was pulling him out of the car with her.

“C’mon. You don’t have to tell me what happened, but you do have to dance with me,” she ordered.

With no fight left in him, he found himself getting out of the car for her. “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” was playing.

“Is that a ’55 Packard Caribbean?” she asked.

“You really know your cars,” he conceded.

“She’s a beauty.”

“Drove it all through high school,” he felt like he was in a fog. “Are you just stealing all of my clothes now?”

“Didn’t think you’d mind.”

She pulled him to the empty space in the center of the barn, the final strains from Brenda Lee reaching them as they stopped.

“Am I ever gonna get it back?” he looked down at you, his expression still irritated.

You patted your sides and Dean’s scent wafted up through the neck hole. A hint of aftershave and hops.

“No, I think it’s mine now,” you smiled up at him. You noticed he had a new bruise on his cheek but didn’t ask him about it. He would tell you if he wanted you to know.

“I don’t dance, sweetheart,” he grumbled, but he still stood there letting you touch his battered face and hands.

“You also don’t do Christmas, but here we are,” you teased. “Jingle Bell Rock” began. “You can’t be mad when you dance to Christmas music. Just move your body.”

You held his hand and used him as a prop to dance to the song. You were doing twirls and having a grand ol’ time. It didn’t matter to you how goofy you were, Dean needed to get out of his head for his own sake. As you danced, you sung along to the song, loudly and out of tune.

Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas” was next. Dean finally pulled you close, surprising you. You put your hand on his arm and he slowly moved you to the beat of the music. It was nice to be in his arms again. The anger was gone from his handsome features, replaced by sadness. He could barely look at you. You moved closer so your body pressed to his, your arms going up around his shoulders. Bing’s smooth voice was making you feel good, your hand absently stroking the back of Dean’s neck.

“You know, you can tell me what happened, right?” your voice was gentle.

With the song ending, so did the swaying. Dean was looking outside through the open barn door and “Let it Snow” began playing on the Packard’s radio.

“I don’t think Dad is going to hand over the business to me,” he said. The agony in his voice was killing you. His head dropped to the side of yours, his skin was cold against your temple.

“We knew that it could end this way,” you said softly, your hand holding his head.

“But if I don’t get it, it’s not just me that’s losing,” his voice was barely more than a whisper.

“I’m here, Dean. I don’t need the earrings. You can have them back, use them to start your own place. I just want you,” you said. “No matter what, I’m here, and I have your back.”

“I’m sorry about everything that’s happened,” he moved to look at you, “but I’m glad you’re here.”

His eyes seemed to stare deep into your soul, and you knew you were head over heels in love with him. His strong arms enveloped you. His eyes closing as he leaned in to kiss you.

Dean pulled away first, but not very far. He didn’t want her to run away. It was irrational, but real, he wanted her close… and she was warm.

Her eyes still closed, she said, “Wow.” Taking a moment to come back to herself, she continued, “If I had known that’s how you felt, I would have kissed you right away.”

He couldn’t help himself, he kissed her again. Goosebumps raised on his skin. Either he was cold, or he was in love. Not that he knew what it meant to be in love. All he knew is he didn’t want to lose (Y|N).

“What’s in the thermos,” he asked.

(Y|N) looked like she’d forgotten she’d even carried it in.

“Jess gave it to me. I assume it has hot toddy in it,” she thought a moment, “Warm toddy. We could have it before dinner?”

“Yeah, but let’s get in the car,” he suggested.

“Are you cold in your multiple layers?”

“I can take my hoodie back,” he said walking with you to the car.

“You could try,” you smiled.

“Hmm,” he opened the car door for you. “Don’t tempt me.”

He closed the door gently on the old Packard once you were inside. You watched as Dean went around the front of the car, his fingers splayed as the grazed the hood. A hint of a smile finally touched his face as he leaned down to grab the thermos from where you’d left it and got in the car with you. You took the thermos from him and he reached for the key still in the ignition.

“Let’s see if Garth has been taking care of her,” he said and turned the key.

Dean turned his head toward you giving you a look like the car might explode. Instead, the car gave a small shudder and rumbled to life. Dean’s face lit up.

“Atta boy, Garth,” he said with a smile of appreciation for his friend and for his old car. He reached for the heat controls and set them to max.

“Care for a tour of the grounds, m’lady?” he said in his best snooty voice.

“I would like that a lot,” you moved closer.

When you left the house, you hadn’t thought to grab an extra cup for Dean. While you were sure he had no qualms about drinking right from the container, you thought it might be better to share the cup.

The heat was already beginning to work in the car as you slid to the middle of the split-back bench seat. Dean gave you a sideways glance, a funny little look on his face, eyebrow up like he was waiting for you to say something. The moment passed and Dean put the car in gear. He eased the car out of its parking space, his foot on the brake. Even though you weren’t driving, you could feel the power ready to be unleashed.

“Man, she really wants to go, doesn’t she?” you asked.

The leather upholstery was soft and smooth under your hand, “They just don’t make cars this beautiful anymore. Not ones Joe Schmoe can buy, anyway.” The leather was a cream color and had black and turquoise trim to match the body colors.

Dean eased the car to a stop just outside the barn. The snow was falling gently on the car and you could just barely hear it hitting the canvas convertible top.

“I almost wish I could take her with me,” he said, “but no extra parking in my building.”

You had plenty of space at your place, but with Chuck’s ultimatum, you didn’t know if you’d have a job in 2 weeks. Even if things didn’t work out with you and Dean, you still couldn’t decide if you wanted to go back to work with Chuck. The earrings he’d bought you could be returned or sold, but if it didn’t work out, you really didn’t want them…

“She’s a beauty,” you told him.

“Alright,” he said, “down to the end of the land and back, I’m starving.”

You already unscrewed the mug and were working on the stopper. A waft of toddy steam hit your nose; the liquid still hot as you poured. Jess didn’t put much in the thermos, only enough to fill the mug.

“Here,” you held out the mug for Dean, “this’ll warm you up.”

He took the mug from you and took a few drinks from it. The snow had piled up on the windshield and he reached to turn on the wipers.

“Don’t hog it. Sip, sip, pass,” you wanted a drink, too.

Dean smirked and passed you the mug. Handing if off to you, he put the car in gear and rode the brake, even in first gear. Dean said he was only going to the end of the lane, but he took you on a small tour of the farm. The snow was building but the road was still visible for most of the tour. He showed you the shed that he and Sam jumped off to see if they could fly. You saw the tire swing where he spent hours swinging and spinning. He told you all about high school.

“The girls I dated always said one thing about my car and as soon as they did, I knew I would have to end it,” he said.

“Oh God, I’m afraid to ask,” you said.

Dean did a mock girly voice to say, “Oh Dean, the color of your car matches your eyes!”

“HA! I don’t blame you!”

Dean let off the brake and the car was rolling again.

“So how fast does she go?” you asked.

“One-track mind on you,” he chuckled. “I’ll show you some time but when the roads are dry.”

“Thanks for asking me to come to this,” you said.

“Thanks for saying ‘yes’,” he said moving his arm to lay across the back of the seat.

Unwilling to miss the opportunity, you slid the rest of the way to lean against him as he drove. You rested your head on Dean’s shoulder and watched the snow falling outside. You put your hand on his thigh and his arm came down around your shoulders.

By the time you and Dean got his car back in the garage and everything settled, it was late, and you’d probably missed dinner. It didn’t matter much anyway, you doubted Dean would want to sit down with them after whatever it was that had happened. You helped Dean close the barn doors and walked back up to the house with him.

Inside, the house was oddly quiet. You almost expected to see someone in the kitchen, but it was empty. Dinner had been eaten and put away. Dishes were left on the island where the only light in the kitchen was left on. On top of the plates was a note folded in half. Dean picked it up to read while you rummaged in the refrigerator. You found the food containers and started pulling them out.

Dean flipped open the note with his thumb. He recognized the handwriting as Ellen’s.

Dean - we’re sorry about earlier. Food’s in the fridge. Saved you some pie.

—E

“What’s the note say?” You asked Dean.

“Ellen’s just sorry about the crap from earlier,” he crumpled the note and put it in the trash.

“You gonna tell me what happened?” You really wanted to know.

“Let’s get some plates ready, then I’ll tell ya.”

Once your food was warmed and ready, the two of you sat down at the island to eat and Dean told you everything. He told you about Adam, how his mother found out, and her subsequent death. He told you about his dad and how Dean had kept him alive and ran both businesses at a young age. You found out how Dean left Lebanon again and came into your life.

“Do you still want to go to the gala tomorrow?” You asked. If he said ‘no’ it wouldn’t shock you in the least. The fact that he was still there was a little bit of a shock. Dean had been put through the wringer and had still come out clean on the other side.

“Yeah, but we don’t have to stay afterward. Besides, I really want to see you in that dress.”

“You have a clothing fetish,” you didn’t put it as a question.

“No, I don’t. I just have an… appreciation for your… form,” he said.

You smiled at him. He is poor face was beaten up and his hands had to be sore. And despite his injuries, he was still incredibly handsome.

“Does it ever get tough walking around with that face?” You couldn’t stop your thoughts from spilling out of your mouth.

“It does this week,” he said.

“No, I mean, do you see you? Even with a cut and bruised cheek, you’re damn fine to look at,” you mused.

“Well… I mean… it doesn’t suck,” he gave you a charming smile. “Gets me in with the cute mechanics.”

You snickered, “Is that something you need to do often?”

“I’ve been holding out.”

“Oh yeah?”

He nodded, “Had to find someone equally hot to use my manly wiles on.”

“How’s that working out for you?”

He gave you the most endearing look you had ever seen and felt your heart melt for him.

“It’s working pretty good,” he grinned. “Got me a pretty lady that makes me feel things I didn’t think were possible for a washed-up old man.”

You got up from your stool and were slightly higher than him sitting. He turned his body and leaned on the island as he looked at you, clearly worn out from the day.

“The dishes are put away, let’s go to bed,” you suggested.

He looked at you funny, “You’re not gonna tell me I’m not washed-up?”

“I was, but you ruined it,” you teased, getting even closer to him. He put his arms around you pulling you close, his head resting on your chest. You stroked his head and shoulders and felt him relax into you a little more. “Come on. I’d feel better if we were in your room.”

“You’re just trying to get me into bed,” he said as he let you go and got up from the stool. He’d not had the benefit of a nap and was feeling the pain. The lack of sleep and the pain from his injuries had been taking their toll all day.

“Yes, I am. Now get your cute buns moving,” you said.

“Don’t objectify me,” he scoffed.

“I like you, Dean,” you said as he led the way.

“I love you, too,” he whispered as you made your way up the stairs with him.

You sat on the bed next to Dean who was already in bed and passed out. He fell asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow. You looked at the clock and decided that it wasn’t too late to make a quick phone call. You hadn’t even been bringing it with you, not that you would have had any time to look at it. It had been so busy at the farm, you weren’t even really sure what day it was. The indicator light was flashing on your phone and you could only imagine the messages you had missed.

Not bothering to look at them, you held down your speed dial button and waited for the video call to connect.

“I do believe we need to have a discussion about what “Keep me updated” means. Not even a text from you,” Ryan didn’t say ‘hello’ again. “Why are you sitting in the dark? Is tall, dark, and sexy with you?”

“Shh! Yes, he is and I don’t want to wake him,” you said. You knew she could see you just fine, though.

“Then you shouldn’t have video chatted me, dipstick,” she countered.

“Fair enough.”

You had tried to slide off the bed before you made the call, but Dean had his arm over your legs and was knocked out cold. If he woke up, he woke up, but you didn’t think he would.

“What the hell has been going on that you can’t call me?” Ryan asked.

It took a bit of explaining, but you finally made it through all of the details. She wanted you to spend a little more time on the sex details than you were entirely comfortable with, but she got the idea from what little you were willing to divulge.

"Cmooooon tell meeeee." "You are MARRIED." "Exactly, I need to live vicariously through you." "Tsk tsk What would Christina say...." "She would understand, now spill. Tell me all about it." "No, and I haven't even told you the best(?) part."

“I think we know what the best part is…”

“Pffft, you're not wrong!” You laughed, “but seriously. He was so tired from everything today. When we were going upstairs, I thought he was just sleeping on his feet and joking around with me. So, I said, ‘I like you, Dean.’”

“And??”

“He whispered, ‘I love you, too.’ WHAT THE HELL RY?!”

“Alright, as much as you want to freak out, cuz I know I want to, don’t. Don’t overthink it and let it fuck up whatever’s happening. Try to let things happen naturally.”

“Oh! Easy for you to say!” You were absolutely freaking out, but she was also right. It could have just been his sleepy mind saying it in response to a dream-like state. Maybe he just said what he felt was right in the moment. Maybe he didn’t even mean for you to hear him.

“(Y|N)! Don’t make me come down there and slap you. You got this. Now get some rest. You don’t need bags under your eyes for the big show tomorrow.”

“Alright, you’re right, as usual,” you allowed.

“Damn right, I am. Try to enjoy that sexy man… more. And CALL ME TOMORROW.”

“Okay, shhhh!! Bye!”

“Merry Christmas.”

You sighed heavily and put your ringer on silent before putting it back on the nightstand. Your notification light was still flashing like crazy, but you didn’t think you could stand to go through them, you just wanted to get to sleep. Whatever it was that was on there could wait for you to see in the morning. Reaching for the pull chain on the lamp, you scooted down on the bed and pulled the chain. Dean stirred enough for you to lie down with him and settle in.

I think I love you, too.

#au dean winchester #au dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #a mutually beneficial arrangement #kazosa #implied smut

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quirkydeaky · 5 years

Text

Life is Real {Chapter Two}

ROGER TAYLOR

how will Roger cope when he finds that his new best friend, whom he's falling in love with, is slowly dying?

HI! So I’m back and hoping this series will not flop, lol. A few people have been interested in seeing this, so here I am with what people want! If you want, drop a comment or send me an ask and I’ll add you to my tag list. Mwah!

{p.s - send me asks cause i want mutuals and my ask box is open! eek!}

Also... This story is a multi-part fan-fiction with heavy, mature themes. The Original (and Main) Female Character has a type of Cancer. The type will not be mentioned, but there may be some scenes with heavy implements of medication, treatment or heavily implied scenes at a hospital.

I DO understand that this topic hits close to home for a lot of people, and if this angst-based series is not something for you, please ignore. Thank you.

W/C: 2.6k+

Warnings: Small angst, some fluff. Dialogue.

Main Characters: 80s!Roger Taylor, MammaMia2!Lily James (Lillian)

[we’re starting to get more into the swing of things, if you’ve stuck around. this is not into the full plot, but it begins to be introduced with dialogue, too. here we are with chapter two, babies! enjoy!]

Beyond utterly confused at what he had just opened his childhood home's front door too, Roger was left standing staring at a girl looking utterly starstruck, yet beyond upset at the same time. Roger was beginning to become impatient, but felt somewhat sorry for this poor girl too. She looked tired, eyes rimmed red, presumably from the stains her hot tears left, Roger guessing those tears formed were from the distress this girl was facing. Still no answers from this girl and feeling utterly apologetic. He couldn't just leave her there, could he? He'd feel rotten if he did that. "Look, I don't know who you are, but you best come in." Roger stated, opening the door wider and stepping backward, an inviting gesture toward the girl who only blinked repeatedly at his original gesture, until he finally got a word out of her. "No, I- no. I couldn't possibly, I'm sorry for dis-disturbing your day, Mister Taylor." Lillian mumbled, turning around and beginning to walk away, head cloudy with the confusion of her numerous thoughts. What were she ought to do now? She was never supposed to knock on some strangers door, asking for assistance, let alone that stranger being Roger Taylor, a drummer from a famous band who probably just wanted to visit his family in the peace and quiet. Yet here she was, walking away from his door feeling uncomfortable and even more distressed and in pain then before. Roger couldn't bare to see this girl walk away vulnerable, possibly in an even worse state than she was since the five minutes ago in which she turned up at his door, so as she reached the end of the driveway, he caught up to her in fast strides, and not wanting to startle her, grabbing her wrist lightly to be met with her turning around to face him. Lillian retracted her wrist instantly, and Roger thought he had gone too far but she was far more than comfortable to be talking to him when he struck up a conversation to make sure she was okay and that she had a way home. "Look, now I know who you are, Lillian... I'd like to make sure you get, uh- home okay." "It's okay, Roger. I just rely on public transport. The train and my own legs got me to where we both stand now." Lillian says, making a small, yet grand gesture with her thin arms, not being wary of how Roger had been watching her and her behaviour - constantly shielding her skin away from him. He got that he was a complete stranger to her. Hell, the two wouldn't be talking unless he made the bold decision to go after her in order to make sure she was safe, but he couldn't help but wonder what her answer would be if he were to question on why she was being so protective over letting a glance of her skin seep out of her long sleeve black shirt. With his mind was wandering with many thoughts, all those thoughts were drained from his brain when she made that grand gesture to explain her words, not noticing the slight slip up of her sleeve, Roger instantly noticing the thinness of her arm, how pale her skin was, the bruises over her wrist and how her petite hands and wrists gave easy access to show how thin her skin were, making her bones have clear pigment through her skin.

Roger couldn't tear his eyes away, responding wearily. "Okay, well... if yo-you're sure you don't want me to call a cab?" "I'm fine, thank you, but," She started, finding his eyes that weren't locked onto her own and continuing to talk as he still didn't tear his eyes away, Lillian becoming self conscious, "Stop looking at my wrists." She mumbled. Rogers eyes shot up, expecting to meet her own but only met with the top of her head as she looked down, making every effort to pull the sleeve down to cover her pale skin, already knowing Roger had a decent glance. "I know we don't know each other, but... why?" Roger questioned, nodding his head toward her wrist, not knowing whether it was too soon. Only, he knew. It was way too soon, but he only could cringe at his stupid question until his crumpled face turned sympathetic towards the girl who now looked up at him with teary and red-rimmed eyes once more. "Don't..." She began but was simply cut off by Roger. "Are you in danger?" He pressed, stepping closer and looking down to her. "No." "Tell me the truth, I know it doesn't seem right, but I can't possibly let you walk away if you are at the possibility of harm." "I- no, just- give me a minute." Once the words left her mouth, he refocussed his attention on her flinching arms as she dropped her bag from her shoulder, down her arms and placed it toward the ground, dropping it when it was close enough. Turning around, she stood still, taking a deep breath before walking around the colder-sack, the circular end of Roger's street where his childhood home lay. A coping mechanism. Deep breaths usually helped her forget about one of the many things that constantly flowed through her mind, yet the only thing that was on her mind was achieving the approval of Roger. But why? She didn't even know this herself. Feelings, of course. But the sight of the sky in front of her made her forget of his presence behind her, the girl whipping off her sunhat and ruffling her hair, combing her fingers through her soft, knotty hair, her mind in such a haze she forgot about the amount of hair she would be shedding by doing the simple action of combing her fingers through it; and with long and blonde curls and shedding hair, it didn't mix well with a black top. Lillian was still in such a haze that she calmed her rapid breathing and the urge to let tears fall down her cheeks that she did another lap around the colder-sack of his street, breathing deeply. When she returned to stand in front of him, she noticed how desperate he was to get certain words off of his tongue when she noticed what he was staring at on the ground. A decent amount of hair that had fallen from her head. "Roger, I-" "Save it." Roger said before looking up at her again, the deep breathing really not saving her from the current situation of tears leaking from her eyes. "I don't need you explaining things to me if you don't want to. I'm sure enough people know, and I'm definitely sure you don't want some famous drummer added to the list." But something struck a course of blood through her veins in that moment. A warm, fuzzy feeling, one she hadn't experienced in a while. A while being a few years. It was an odd and unfamiliar feeling, yet something was urging her to at least try to keep this drummer in her life, as if it was important that even if she were not to tell him what was going on, that for some reason, he may need her too. Maybe they needed each other, just two people here accidentally met each other in need of a stranger. In need of each other. "Roger, I want you to know." "You... what?" He asked, confused at her sudden positive attribute to the conversation. "We've known each other not even half an hour, love, you couldn't possibly need someone like me to know what's your troubles are in life..." "Maybe I do, Roger." "Do you?" He asked, only hesitantly. "Maybe I don't need you to know, but maybe I just need you, because something inside me is really telling me that maybe these strangers," She spoke, gesturing between the two of them as Roger locked his eyes on hers. "Almost completely irrelevant to each other's lives... somehow need each other." "I don't see your point-" "I know this sounds ridiculous, but... why do I have this feeling that if I were to somehow convince you I'm not some... crazed fan, I suppose, begging for your sympathy, that I were to keep you in my life, that at one point or another we'd always have someone there for us? Because-" Roger didn't know how these next words came out of his mouth, but he knew that it really did finally make sense to him. "Because we've never had someone before?" He stated softly, cocking his head to the side as if to ask for approval, double checking he was correct after his brain registered what he had actually said. "Well, yeah. Read my mind actually." Lillian said with a shrug, coaxing Roger to shrug after her making her crack a smile which made his insides flutter at the sight, something he rarely saw of many people these days. Maybe he did need her. Seeing that smile made his attitude lift a little, his insides melting at the slightly younger girl. If this really was meant to happen, him and Lillian, a friendship where they would have each other... then he could finally begin to understand his own problems because he finally would have someone supporting him. He's not to say that Brian and John haven't been supporting him, because they had... really, but some things were only meant for those special types of people you came across on a rare occasion. This rare occasion occurring. This rare occasion meaning Lillian. But why was it a random stranger that had the nerve of uncertainty come across her in a confused state to knock on someone's door in need of help? Why was the random stranger, Lillian, being the person that the universe was telling him to take under his wing to support her for reasons he didn't even know yet? "Well, I can tell your not some crazed fan..." He began with a chuckle as Lillian raised her eyebrows in question. "How so?" She said, clicking her tongue in thought. "I could be not just some crazed fan, maybe some crazed serial killer, and you'd never know." "Well, you knocked on my door, vulnerable, you have't shown almost any sign of interest into getting into bed with me and you haven't asked for an autograph." He stated before quickly adding, "You also don't have a weapon." "But I still somehow got your attention?" She asked, eyes gazing into his blown, blue ones. "Well, yeah. You knocked on my door for a reason, so here's where we start, I guess. I'm Roger. Roger Meddows Taylor." He says, sticking his hand out to shake. "Lillian Grace Reynolds." She repeats back to him after his introduction, placing her fragile hand in his expecting a handshake but received a somewhat gentle yet forceful pull into his chest, his arms coming around her into a hug. "You needed more than a handshake, I can tell." "You're definitely right, Roger." She said, arms looping around his torso. "Thank you for coming up with this idea," Roger mumbled from above her as he towered over her with a height of 5'10" while she stood at 5'5". "You don't know how much I'm going to need you." "Thank you for agreeing with me on this, I don't think you know how much I'm going to need you." She said, looking up at him as the two broke away from the hug. "So... is this where strangers with as little as an introduction of names have agreed to basically become best friends because they're desperate for support?" "Well done." She said with a shrug before picking up her bag once more. "Do you have a pen? I'll write my number down so we can stay in contact, I need to head home now,'s getting it late." "Just a second." Roger said before rushing back inside and reappearing less than three minutes later with a backpack on his back, sunglasses on his head and car keys jingling in his hand. "Let's go!" "What? Aren't you visiting your family?" "Been doing that all week, I'm heading back home - London, and it's Sunday afternoon. One, if we go, we'll make it before the traffic," He begins, unlocking the car and throwing his bag in. "And two, please tell me you live in the main part of London." He begs, moving to stand on Lillian's side with her car door open. Lillian giggles while shaking her head. "I do," She says, but continues. "Although, we met a little less than an hour ago. Should I really be getting into a car with you?" "I mean, I know this sounds ridiculous, but, yes? I mean-" "And why's that?" She interrupts. "Well, this- thing, friendship," Roger says, gesturing between the two before opening the car door wider. "We need to trust each other. I want this to last, I really need someone like you in my life." "You're not wrong." "I'm not really, am I?" "I guess not." She replied, stepping into the car and sitting down, muttering a quiet 'thank you' as he begins to pull the seatbelt so it's within arms reach. Running over to his side after shutting the door, he started the engine before even sitting down properly for a hot second. Putting his seatbelt on and turning the radio low enough so the music is still loud enough for listening and singing along, but also quiet enough so they can have a deep and meaningful conversation, he places on hand on the steering wheel and uses his other to grasp hers in his hand. Placing a small kiss on the back on her hand making a small shade of a pink flush to her pale cheeks, he starts talking once more after pushing down the hand break. "Right, so tell me everything about you. I want to know-" "Do I really have to start?" She whines, fumbling with her fingers in her lap and looking down. "Yes. I want to know everything important in advance so I can discover all the other small things about you during the rest of this extraordinary friendship!" He exclaims, drumming a beat on the steering wheel as he turns onto the main street. "We have a whole loves, 'til we're old and grey to find all the small things about each other, don't we? So, off you go, tell me about you." Lillian pauses in thought, making the two deal with silence. It's far from awkward, but she hums a tad to fill it anyway - just as she thinks. He probably just thinks she's thinking about all the possible things she's wanting to tell him, probably expecting there to be positive and exciting. But all she's thinking is about one of the last things he said; 'we have a whole loves, 'til we're old and grey to find all the small things about each other, don't we?' He might, but does she? No. Not at all.

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inevitably-johnlocked · 4 years

Note

Hey Steph!🌟Do u have any fics with smut that is feelingy, ie more focused on the emotional aspect & how they're feeling while doing it than the phy sensations & descriptions? Hope u get wt I'm saying. Thx in Advance!💖

OOOOO Nonny!

I’ve got just the list for you! and it will give me an excuse to do a part two to another list of mine!! <3

I do have a Sensuality list in the works, so look out for that in a while, but I think for now this list and the “see also” is perfect for you!

Feel free, friends, to add your own!

EMOTIONAL LOVE MAKING Pt. 2

See also: Emotional Love Making Pt 1 || [MOBILE POST]

Just Like That by sussexbound (E, 8,442 w., Ch. 1 || First Time/Kiss, Frottage, Virgin Sherlock, French Kissing, Anal, Emotional Lovemaking, Enthusiastic Consent, Tenderness, Crying John, Bathing/Washing, Insecure John, Toplock) – John doesn’t want to talk anymore. He wants. Oh dear god, how he wants. For the first time in what feels like years he WANTS.

My First, My Only, and My Forever by vintagelilacs (E, 6,220 w., 1 Ch. || Post-ASiB, Virgin Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock’s Bum, John’s Scar, Sherlock POV, Body Worship, Fingering, Bottomlock, Promise of Forever / Proposals, Misunderstanding, First Kiss/Time, Loss of Virginity, Virginity Kink, Seduction) – Sherlock narrowed his eyes. He was missing a vital piece of data, he was sure. John had been looking at him oddly ever since they left Buckingham Palace, and the ensuing incident with Irene Adler had only exacerbated his erratic behaviour. What was it? Why would he care that Sherlock was a virgin? There was nothing reminiscent of mockery or pity in his gaze. And then it hit him. John Watson was aroused.

The Haunting of 221B Baker Street by earlgreytea68 (M, 10,388 w., 2 Ch. || Post TRF, Halloween / Ghosts, Pining Sherlock, Ghost Sherlock, Stroppy Sherlock, Sherlock POV, First Kiss/Time, Angry Sex, Ghost Sex, Love Confessions, Open / Ambiguous Ending) – In which Sherlock Holmes is a ghost.

The Palmyra Atoll by elwinglyre (E, 16,609 w., 3 Ch. || TSo3 Divergence / Episode Fix-It, Stockholm Syndrome, Kidnapped John Watson, John Whump, Evil Mary, Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Toplock, Limited 3rd John POV) – As John's preparing for the wedding, Sherlock is preparing to have his heart broken, and Mary is prepared to do the unthinkable. Intervention required. Enter Sherlock. Set before Sign of Three with a far different outcome. John is drugged, kidnapped, and left on an island, but not just any old island.

The Wisteria Tree by SilentAuror (E, 29,773 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S3, Emotional Love Making, Amnesia/Memory Loss, Sherlock Loves John So Much, Sherlock POV, Romance, Angst with Happy Ending, First Times, Hurt/Comfort, Est. Rel., Retirement) – Sherlock wakes up from a month-long coma only to discover that he has no memory of the previous six years to his own shock as well as John's...

Only To Be With You by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (M, 40,768 w., 4 Ch. || Black Mirror / Future AU || Character Death, Future Technology, Sickness/Cancer/Illness, Heavy Angst with Happy Ending, First Person POV John, Pining John, Heart-Wrenching Angst) – I tell myself that next time I’ll come near this same place again. Wait around for the mysterious stranger in his coat to dash past me, hot on the heels of a new criminal in black. I think this all the way back to my Exit, planning where I’ll wait and what I’ll say when I see him. Scheming on how to get his name. It’s only once I reach the Exit Point door that I realize two hours and forty-five minutes have passed, and I realize that this won’t be the last time I Visit. It won’t be the last time at all.

Guidelines by WithLoweredVoices (M, 43,018 w., 15 Ch. || Winglock || Angels, Fantasy, Angst, BAMF! John, War, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Jealous John, Falling in Various Ways, Needy Sherlock) – The Good Soldier, one of the oldest and strongest of the fallen, is offered a bargain: to live as John Watson and to Guide a fledgling archangel so that he will stay on the path of good. Of course, Sherlock Holmes has different ideas about his destiny. Fantasy AU. Warnings for violence, occasional gore, and a whole load of hurt and angst.

The Thing Is by TSylvestris (E, 56,743 w., 21 Ch. || Case Fic, Dev. Rel., Anal/Oral, Blow Jobs, Meddling Mycroft, Drama, Romance, Humour, Casual Encounters, Pining Idiots, Possessive Sherlock, Orgasm Delay, Rough / Alley Sex, Public Sex, John Whump, Drugged John, Emotional Love Making, Awkward Relationship, Marriage of Convenience, Switchlock) – The problem with living with Sherlock, John thought, was that you never, never, ever knew the significance of anything. Like your flatmate's nose buried in your hair. Whilst you're in bed. Part 1 of Nitroglycerine

White Knight by DiscordantWords (M, 69,840 w., 13 Ch. || S4 Compliant/Post S4, Marriage For a Case, Jealous John, Pining John, Janine / Sherlock Fake Relationship, Serial Killers, Case Fic, Undercover as a Couple, Weddings, John is a Mess, Misunderstandings, Wedding Planning, Jealousy, Drunkenness, Love Confessions, Angst with Happy Ending) – Green. The word green was used to convey a great many things. Illness. Envy. Inexperience. Standing there amidst Janine's chattering bridesmaids, watching Sherlock furrow his brow and study fabric swatches, watching him smile and simper and flirt, John thought it a remarkably apt colour choice. Because he felt quite sick to his stomach, he feared the source of said sickness might very well be jealousy, and he had absolutely no idea at all what to do about it. Or: Sherlock needs to fake a relationship for a case. He doesn't ask John.

Being John Watson-ish by elwinglyre (E, 69,902 w., 17 Ch. || Bodysnatcher AU || Author John, Cranky Sherlock, Angst, Sexual Tension, First Kiss / Time, Falling in Love, BAMF John, Past Soldier John, Feelings, Inside Someone’s Brain, Shy Sherlock, Sherlock Loves John, POV Sherlock, Switchlock, Slow Burn, Internal Dialogue, Mental Turmoil) – When consulting detective Sherlock Holmes steps on one toe too many at a crime scene, he's consigned to a desk job in an archaic office on the seventh-and-a-half floor of the New Scotland Yard. It’s in this bleak office that Sherlock discovers a portal into the mind of renowned author John Watson. Grander than his mind palace, this new wonderland affords Sherlock new vistas of experimentation. To learn more about the mystery behind the portal, Sherlock seeks out and befriends Watson. But then it all goes wrong when others find the secret portal door—including the man whose brain he visits.

Two Two One Bravo Baker by abundantlyqueer (E, 114,574 w., 27 Ch. || Military AU || Afghanistan, War Story, Thriller) – Captain John Watson of 40 Commando, the Royal Marines, is assigned to protect and assist Sherlock Holmes as he investigates what appears to be a simple war atrocity in Afghanistan. An intense attraction ignites between the two men as they uncover a conspiracy that threatens everything they’ve ever known, but Sherlock is as much hunted as hunter, and everyone close to him is in deadly danger. Can he solve the case in time to save himself and John? Part 1 of Two Two One Bravo Baker Universe

Not Broken, Just Bent by Schmiezi (E, 87,585 w., 43 Ch. || Pining, Love Confessions, Rape/Sexual Assault, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Villain!Mary, Suicidal Ideations, Main Character Death, Sherlock First Person POV, Parentlock, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Grief/Mourning, Emotional Love Making, Possessiveness, Depression, PTSD, Kidnapping, Virgin Sherlock, Eventual Happy Ending) – "For a second, I allow myself to remember teaching John how to waltz. There is a special room in my mind palace for it. A big one, with a proper parquet dance floor. For a second, I go there. I remember holding him, closer than the World Dance Council asks for, excusing it with the fact that we are training for a wedding, not for a competition. For a second, I feel his hand on mine again, smell his sweat, hear the song we used. For a second, I allow myself to love him deeply. For a second, only a second, that love reflects on my face." Fix-it for S3, starting at the end of TSoT. Evil Mary.

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #emotional love making #my fic recs #e-rated fics #Anonymous #long post

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ludacryst · 6 years

Text

Survey Says..

1: How tall or short do you wish you were? I'm 5'3, but I sometimes wish I was shorter because of how cute it can be in a relationship. I've watched too much anime, okay?

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) Well, @warpedbelief didn't help me figuring this out because his dragon idea was really cool. However... I'll just stick with cats. I love cats. (I also love dragons..)

3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? Comfortable. Lol. I mostly wear PJs.

4: What was your favorite video game growing up? Final Fantasy series in general. 7 & 9 Specifically. My heart was always with Zelda ALTTP though.

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: Erwin, Wiggles, PoF (Power of Friendship, so my friends/family.)

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? Caution : Speaks her mind far too often. No filter. Bossy af. Does not cave easily.

7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]? I don't know.

8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic] Melancholic.

9: Are you ticklish? .....No...?....(Yes)

10: Are you allergic to anything? Lots of stuff. There's a list uploaded somewhere.

11: What’s your sexuality? Heteronormative Bisexual. I used to call it straight with a twist until I figured out there was an actual term for it. Basically, I'm emotionally attracted to men and commonly see myself in a relationship with men. (My Husband, HI.) However, I have similar attractions physically to women, but have never seen myself in a relationship with one other than physically.

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? Cocoa or Tea, but I'll drink any of em.

13: Are you a cat or dog person? Cat. 1000% They're chill just like me... once they're older.

14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? Elf, probably. I love nature, I hate being allergic to it though.

15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? Nah, I just skim youtube from time to time, no favorite.

16: How tall are you? 5'3.

17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? I'd probably keep it in the realm it's already in. So, I'm Crystal. I go by Crys (Chris) so probably Christina.. or anything that could shorten it to Chris of sorts. It's just me.

18: How much do you weigh? 175-190, depends on if I've ate fast food recently or not. More averaged at 186, but it's jumped a lot the past few months. Goal weight is 125.

19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? Sure. I don't disbelieve. Had a thing when i was a kid a few times that make me think something exists.. whether or not we know what it is.

20: Do you like space or the ocean more? Space. Stars. I love water don't get me wrong, but I'm more curious about what we can't physically reach.

21: Are you religious? Nah.

22: Pet peeves? Liars, people who try to grind my gears, people saying "I'm going to do it just to spite you." I'm tired of toxicity of people.

23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]? Diurnal. I'm defaulted to Nocturnal, so just eat some edibles and we're in bed by 10pm! :)

24: Favorite constellation? Leo ;)

25: Favorite star? Sirius, it shines the brightest.

26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? I don't like dolls. They're creepy.

27: Any phobias or fears? Irrational : Dolls, Being around people. Rational : Heights, Closed Spaces t-t

28: Do you think global warming is real? Fucking. Is this seriously a question? Of course it's real.

29: Do you believe in reincarnation? I actually like to. It gives me hope there's something after death.

30: Favorite movie? I'm not sure I have a favorite movie...

31: Do you get scared easily? Nah, but I love a good jump scare.

32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime? Christina - My first doggie, passed away when I was in 4th grade. She was a mini collie~ Alexi - My green/yellow parakeet. Passed away at roughly 2-3 years old. Jiggy - My gray/white beautiful DHS big boi kitty. (2006-2016) Momma - My loving calico who picked me over everyone. ;o; (2006-2018) Wiggles - Adopted from my family, he's a tyrant! He loves his dad more than me tho... [rude] (2016-???)

33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.] You CC please.

34: What is a color that calms you? Blue. Blue is always relaxing, especially softer/darker blues.

35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? Travel wise, I want to visit a lot of places. Germany, UK, Canada... more specifically Niagara Falls.. Live wise, if I could, I'd live in Canada. However... I just want to live in the midwest, or east, somewhere more affordable in the US.

36: Where were you born? Ohio!

37: What is your eye color? Blue-gray.

38: Introvert or extrovert? 1000% introverted.

39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? I think they're amusing as fuck. I don't believe/follow them 100%. I do like to imagine what it would be like if they were right though. I follow zodiac stuff way more than horoscope.

40: Hugs or kisses? xoxoxo - Preferably hugs, they're for everyone! *HUGS*

41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? Scotty! ( @warpedbelief )

42: Who is someone you love deeply? @hyphenhero - My husbando.

43: Any piercings you want? I really dunno any more. The only one I've been considering lately is Daith.

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? I don't dislike tattoos and piercings.

45: Do you smoke or have you ever done so? Cigarettes are disgusting. Be more descriptive of your "smoking." I have marijuana vapes I enjoy.

46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! Well, I married him.

47: What is a sound you really hate? Anything pitchy. My ears have been killing me the past year or so.

48: A sound you really love? Meow.

49: Can you do a backflip? HAHAHA No.

50: Can you do the splits? Almost did them on accident the other day. It really hurt. (No)

51: Favorite actor and/or actress? Do voice actors count? Because then I'm between two. Johnny Yong Bosch and Matt Mercer.

52: Favorite movie? Wasn't this asked already? I don't have one.

53: How are you feeling right now? Tired.

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? I really want to bleach it blonde again.

55: When did you feel happiest? Maybe when we first moved into our second apartment? The rent was cheaper, it was nice. I miss freedom. Though, I also miss having a full guild of friends and getting along and having fun together.. Man I'm getting old.

56: Something that calms you down? Marijuana primarily. Hugs. Kittens.

57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] Anxiety, Depression, Memory issues xD Honestly you should just ask if there's stuff NOT wrong with me.

58: What does your URL mean? It's a nickname a friend gave me 11 years ago. Holy crap. It's been 11 years.

59: What three words describe you the most? Sassy, Bratty, Mom-ish.

60: Do you believe in evolution? Yes.

61: What makes you unfollow a blog? Too much spam/boring content. Stuff I'm not interested in. Sometimes inactivity for years.

62: What makes you follow a blog? Stuff I'm interested in typically.

63: Favorite kind of person: People I can just talk to about anything. I like to talk. I don't like to be pestered and felt bad about not responding right away. I enjoy helping people. So I'm mostly a listener. I like to talk about stuff we're mutually interested in. Sometimes I love people I can debate with but not hate after (reasonable debates.) I guess I'm going to be that guy and copy what my friend said.. "Engaging, but not too much that I’m constantly tired. I like doing nothing, but doing nothing with the right person."

64: Favorite animal(s): Cats. All the cats.

65: Name three of your favorite blogs. I don't really actively follow any specific blog in particular! :x

66: Favorite emoticon: :smirk: (use it on discord... though if you played maplestory, it's an F3 equivalent... )

67: Favorite meme: You said that tho?

68: What is your MBTI personality type? INFJ-T

69: What is your star sign? Leo

70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? No dog, but you'd be damn right to guess I'd train them.

71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? Any of the fluffy pjs with a thin tank top.

72: Post a selfie or two? https://ludacryst.tumblr.com/tagged/me https://ludacryst.tumblr.com/tagged/wedding

73: Do you have platform shoes? Nah. I don't have heels either.

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? My memory is absolutely shit in most situations. However, in certain and RANDOM AF situations it can be clear as day. If I want to learn/remember something? Forget about it. If I could not care less about something? You'll be damn straight I'll remember it.

75: Can you do a front flip? Lol, no.

76: Do you like birds? Yeah, cept the annoying high pitched ones T_T

77: Do you like to swim? I used to love to. I can't really be in the sun for long any more though.

78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? Never been Ice Skating! Always wanted to try. I'd probably equally enjoy both.

79: Something you wish didn’t exist: Mosquitoes, Cancer, Violence. On the violence part... It's mostly guns. If we had swordsman style fights - It'd be more interesting.

80: Some thing you wish did exist: Cures to incurables. Cancer, Epilepsy, Autism, etc. (I'm an epilepsy survivor.)

81: Piercings you have? Had an eyebrow piercing, lost it the same month I got it to pink eye.

82: Something you really enjoy doing: Watching television. I miss reading. I have a hard time focusing on reading now.

83: Favorite person to talk to: I have 3! Erwin (@hyphenhero) - My husband~ and my friends Scott (@warpedbelief) and Brandon.

84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? What the fuck is this and why do people use it? inb4 I replaced wordpress with it.

85: How many followers do you have? I don't really check. My Tumblr is mostly for me... and I just restarted fresh these past few months.

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? Maybe if I tried. Used to be able to run one in 6.

87: Do your socks always match? Yeah.

88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? HA, Never could.

89: What are your birthstones? Peridot, Sardonyx, Spinel

90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? Cat? Yes. Spoil me.

91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? Tulips.

92: A store you hate? Umm.... I don't know if I avoid any stores in particular....

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? 1-2. My stomach gets pretty upset.

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? Fly. Definitely. I get lost in my own mind enough.

95: Do you like to wear camo? Situationally.

96: Winter or summer? Winter 100%. Hate the heat. Love the snow.

97: How long can you hold your breath for? I don't know. Like 30 seconds maybe?

98: Least favorite person? They who will not be named. It gives them too much attention.

99: Someone you look up to: I used to look up to my mom a lot. Now I'm more-so my own person, I just do what I can to do right by me and my hubby.

100: A store you love? Uhm.. Any cheap store... I don't really have a favorite. I guess amazon for saving me gas?

101: Favorite type of shoes Skechers.

102: Where do you live? California.

103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? Nah. I love ham too much.

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? Cubic Zirconia actually. It's so undervalued but so pretty.

105: Do you drink milk? Used to. Not really much any more.

106: Do you like bugs? Sometimes. But not in the house.

107: Do you like spiders? Sure, they get rid of the bad bugs.

108: Something you get paranoid about? Being followed. Bugs crawling on me.

109: Can you draw: Used to be able to. Not any more.

110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? I don't know, I usually tell people anything they ask lol.

111: A question you hate being asked? Any question I had previously already answered, and they just weren't paying attention. Anything related to me/my own working/schooling.

112: Ever been bitten by a spider? Not that I can remember.

113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? Yeah, it's really relaxing.

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? Cloudy, 100%

115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: I would like to cuddle Momma right now.. Why you gotta go and make a girl sad for survey thing? (My calico that passed away last year..)

116: Favorite cloud type: Cumulus, Cumulonimbus, and Nimbostratus. Yes I googled them for their names.

117: What color do you wish the sky was? I honestly love the colors the sky is/can be, especially at sunrise and sunset.

118: Do you have freckles? Yes, but you can only see them when I have a tan. So to anyone who hasn't seen me since I was 10, you'd never know I had them.

119: Favorite thing about a person: How they treat people. If they're kind to animals. Eyes. Definitely eyes.

120: Fruits or vegetables? Fruits @_@

121: Something you want to do right now: Play Zelda - BoTW on Hard - but... I'm lazy.

122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? Ocean. But they look best together.

123: Sweet or sour foods? Candies or actual food? Food, sweet. Candies, sour.

124: Bright or dim lights? Dim as you can go without causing me to have seizures over tiny little things.

125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? I wish. Dragons would rock my world.

126: Something you hate about Tumblr: Yahoo owning it.

127: Something you love about Tumblr: The freedom it USED to have.

128: What do you think about the least? I dunno, I think about it the least... so it won't naturally come to me.

129: What would you want written on your tombstone? Carpe Diem ....heheheh.

130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? Why would I name them? Again with the attention thing.

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? My Epilepsy. It's shown me who really gives a fuck about me, but also it's taken a lot from me.

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures? No, I hate my teeth.

133: Computer or TV? Computer, it offers more.

134: Do you like roller coasters? Never been on one, definitely want to try.

135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? Sometimes motion sickness, never got seasick tho.

136: Are your ears lobed or attached? Attatched.

137: Do you believe in karma? I like to believe in Karma, but I really feel like people don't get their just desserts :(

138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? -5

139: What nicknames do you have/have had? Crys, Crysti, Cryssi, Crysii, Ludacryst, Toxie, Punky, there's probably more but effort.

140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? I am unsure.

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? Yes. More than one therapist.

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? Yes.

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? Giving.

144: What makes you angry? Lots of little things. Dumb things. Mostly the way medical/doctors are here... Our president... a lot of things really.

145: How many languages do you speak fluently? I can barely manage English, you want me to learn more?!

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? I kinda answered this earlier.

147: Are you androgynous? No.

148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: My eye color.

149: Favorite thing about your personality: I'm more willing to let people go if they make my life worse. I used to be terrible at that.

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. My Mom, Scooter, Matt Mercer.. (shh)

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? ANY ERA WITH KNIGHTS AND KINGDOMS AND WEEEEEEE............ (I like a lot of oldie based shows.)

152: Do you like BuzzFeed? Eh.

153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.] MapleStory. Not even remotely kidding.

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? Yes. I'm a very touchy person if I trust the person. I prefer hugs on most though. Forehead is pretty sentimental to me.

155: Do you like to play with others’ hair? Sometimes, yeah.

156: What embarrasses you? My teeth, my weight, a lot of things.

157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: People. Crowds. Planes. Heights. New Doctors.

158: Biggest lie you have ever told: If it's the biggest lie I've ever told, do you think I'm going to out myself on social media?

159: How many people are you following? Fuck if I know... I'm too lazy to check.

160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? See #159

161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? See #159

162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? See #159

163: Last time you cried and why: It's been over a lot of things. My health, my families health, my cat, hurting myself, etc.

164: Do you have long or short hair? Medium?

165: Longest your hair has ever been: Just below my shoulders.

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religion? Neutral mostly, because you can't prove or disprove a god exists. Just because you haven't seen something does that mean it's not there? Also, just because you believe in something, does it mean that it exists really? I'm agnostic. Though Wicca seems like a more reasonable religion in most aspects (I've dabbled in research, I hope that doesn't offend anyone.)

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? Not really. I just care if it's gonna blow up before I die.

168: Do you like to wear makeup? Like? Not usually, it just helps me feel a little better sometimes.

169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? Nope.

170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? As much as I could.

#survey says #survey

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bombshellsandbluebells · 6 years

Text

Romancing the Flame (2/?)

Summary: When Emori’s brother is held hostage in exchange for a priceless, mythical jewel called the Flame, she teams up with sarcastic thief and treasure hunter, John Murphy.

But someone else is after the Flame too, and it’s a race to find the lost city of Polis and the jewel hidden inside.

To get there first, Emori and John will have to overcome booby traps, mercenaries, and their mutual mistrust of each other.

AKA my ode to the classic action/adventure films of the 80s/90s, packed full of as many references and tropes as I can manage. The title is a reference to the film “Romancing the Stone.” Official film poster here!

All my love to @infernalandmortal for editing and being just as excited about this fic as I am!

read on ao3

Chapter One

Chapter Two: The Deal

There was something about seedy bars that made Emori reckless. She’d like to blame it on the alcohol, but she’d only had one beer so far, and she knew she could drink half the men in this bar under the table. Maybe it was just the general sleaziness of the place – the atmosphere of crime and depravity hanging heavy over everything left the implication that you could get away with anything while inside.

Out in the real world, the law was a real threat, and one that Emori was cautious of. She’d long since learned the importance of staying inconspicuous and hidden, and normally she avoided unnecessary attention – but here she knew for a fact there was an illegal poker game unraveling in the back room, and that made her feel safe.

Normal grifts called for days of preparation and careful execution, but bar grifts were easy. They only required that she keep the mark drunk and horny enough not to notice what was happening – or just that she win the inevitable fight that broke out. No one was going to call the police in a place like this, after all, and she could handle a few bruises and cuts for the sake of some extra cash.

She does a lap around the place on her way back from the bathroom. By the time she reaches her table, she’s already zeroed in on at least three different opportunities.

Otan is exactly where she left him, staring morosely down into his own drink like the loser she often tells him he is. He looks up when she sits down.

“Hey.” She jerks her head towards the back corner. “Check out the dart game.”

Her brother follows her gaze to the two men in the midst of a game, then looks back at her with a deeper frown. Her excitement must be obvious, because he sighs heavily. “Hustling? Really?”

“It’ll be fun,” she says, her voice sing-song. She pokes at his shoulder, but Otan shrugs her off, grunting unenthusiastically in reply. “Come on, you know we’ll win.” Emori herself can probably hit the dartboard from where they sit right now. Otan, she knows, would hit the bullseye.

“I’m not worried about winning,” he argues. “I’m worried you’re going to start a fight, and we’ll get kicked out before I can finish my drink.”

Emori deftly grabs his drink from his hands and downs the entire thing. The whiskey is cheap and biting; it burns the back of her throat as it goes down. She slams the empty glass back on the table with a loud clink, and roughly wipes her mouth with the back of her gloved hand.

“There, drink finished.”

Otan glares at her. She smiles sweetly back at him.

They stare each other down, Otan looking for all the world like the human embodiment of a rain cloud and Emori bright and grinning, unwavering. Finally, with the kind of disappointed certainty that comes with having lost hundreds of similar arguments before, Otan sighs deeply in resignation and kneads at the rough, scarred skin of his forehead.

“Fine,” he says, and Emori laughs, delighted.

“It’ll be fun,” she promises as she tugs him out of his seat and towards the game. “Besides, it’s been a while since we’ve treated ourselves. We could use some extra cash.”

“You’re buying me another whiskey with it,” Otan tells her, then falls quiet as they reach the two men.

It’s easy to slip into the roles. They fit as comfortably as well-worn shoes.

“Come on, Em,” Otan says, gently tugging back the arm Emori has a hold of. She follows the movement, exaggerating her stumble a bit before she rights herself against her brother. “These guys are already playing.”

“Come on, O! I want to play!” she whines, slurring her words in a convincing charade of drunkenness.

The men pause their game and glance over at them.

Emori smiles at them and waves lazily. “Hey, you guys want to play with us?”

The two men look at each other in silent debate, and then eye Otan and her speculatively. They’re hesitant to accept Otan, she can tell, as people usually are – his sour expression and bulk might not be unusual in a place like this, but it certainly doesn’t do him any favors when making friends – but she’s laying the drunk, ditzy charm on well enough that they’re interested. One of them drags his eyes up and down her body.

“Ignore my dumb brother,” she slurs, emphasizing the last word. “I think you guys look fun! I want to have some fun!”

Otan tugs gently on her arm again. “They’re not interested, Em.”

“We didn’t say that,” the one eyeing her like a snack says quickly, and Emori hides a triumphant grin. Hook, line, and sinker.

He turns to at his opponent for confirmation, and the other man nods. “Yeah, we’d be up for a game.” His grin makes her skin crawl. “I’m Emerson. This is Dax.”

“I’m Emily,” she says, then slaps an uncoordinated hand against Otan’s chest. “This is Oscar.”

She steps closer to Emerson because the hungry way he eyes her makes him the better target. “I don’t know how to play,” she tells him, pitching her volume as if she’s trying to whisper but too drunk to manage it.

And he buys it. His grin stretches wider. “Don’t worry,” he assures her, placing an arm around her shoulders. “I’ll teach you.” He strokes down her arm, lower and lower, then switches to her back. It creeps dangerously close to her ass, and it's only years of practice that keep her smile in place. If they weren’t about to rob him blind, she’d have decked him the minute he touched her. Instead, she just giggles and leans in closer.

It’s all almost too easy.

Emori and Otan return to their motel room that night with their pockets heavier than they left. They hadn’t been able to raise the bet very high – Emori’s thinks the men had grown suspicious despite their flawless act – but Emori had treated herself to Mr. Grabby Hands’ wallet before they left.

“What’d I tell you?” she boasts as Otan unlocks the door. “It was fun, right?”

“Sure,” is all Otan says, but he’s grinning.

Emori is so high on their success that it takes her a moment to realize what happens when they enter the room. Something grabs her and shoves her face-first into the wall beside the door. Her nose throbs with the impact, and she has enough clarity to hope it isn’t broken, before she manages to take in the rest of the situation.

There are people in their room. One of them, clearly a man much stronger and larger than she is, has her pinned securely against the wall. She hears struggling behind her, but all she can see is the ugly paisley wallpaper of the room.

“Get off of me!” she shouts, straining against the arms holding her down. “Otan?! Otan!”

“Emori!” she hears him shout, before the distinct thud of someone getting socked in the face. She hopes Otan’s getting one up on their attackers, but she has a horrible feeling that it’s Otan who’s been hit. Her suspicious are confirmed when she hears her brother groan. Fear settles in her gut. She tries harder to fight back.

“You didn’t really think I wouldn’t find you, did you?”

The familiar voice coats her ears like tar, heavy, thick and vile. She freezes.

“Did you, Emori?” Baylis continues, and she chokes down a whimper. Even if she can’t see him, she can picture him perfectly in her mind – the cocky, feral grin, the hateful eyes. He probably still has the scar on his temple too. Baylis laughs, and she flinches. Her nose throbs sharply when she pushes it further into the wall. “Come on, we all know your brother’s an idiot, but you’re smarter than that.”

She wants to spit an insult. It sits on her tongue like ready ammunition, only the pistol’s jammed. She can’t get her mouth to say the words. They’d known it was a risk when they left, but they’d thought it was worth it. For months, she’d worried Baylis would find them again, and when it hadn’t happened, she’d grown passive in her sense of safety. She’d stopped worrying. She’d forgotten to be scared.

Now, the weight of that terror comes back all at once and locks her limbs tight and her jaw shut. She feels like a rabbit cowering in a trap, and she hates that almost more than the man behind her. Almost, but not quite.

“Turn her around,” Baylis orders, and the hands yank her from the wall and spin her around so roughly her rattled head spins. There’s definitely blood dripping from her nose.

Her imagination had been spot on. Sure enough, the scar is visible on his temple with his hair gelled back the way he always wears it, but she can’t even enjoy it – not when she sees the gun on his hip or the two large, heavily-armed men flanking him. Two others have Otan pinned, one with his arm tight around Otan’s neck. Her brother’s face is turning red with the strain.

He locks eyes with her and she reads her fear mirrored in them. Two men on Otan, one on her, two others waiting to act, and Baylis.

They’re fucked.

“Well?” Baylis barks. The man who has a hold of her tightens his grip. His nails dig into the skin of her arms. “You have anything to say?”

She tries to voice an apology, but her mouth fumbles around the shape of it. The words get lost somewhere in her throat. Baylis waits, his eyes locked on hers. Emori licks her lips and tries again. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” Baylis mocks. “For what? For running away? For stealing my money? For this?” He gestures at the scar on his face.

“All of it,” she gasps. Anything to please him. She’d gotten in his good graces once before; maybe she can do it again. “I’m sorry for all of it. I’ll make up for it. I’ll – I’ll-“

Otan squeaks, and her eyes dart to him. It’s too small a sound for a man as large as her brother, but he looks small now. The man holding his neck is squeezing it tighter, and her brother flounders like a fish caught on the shoreline as he struggles for breath. She can see his fingers dancing and twitching in the air for something to grab onto, but he’s too well-pinned. He clutches uselessly at open air.

“I’ll pay you back!” she shouts, desperate.

“You will?” Baylis steps close to her. He’s at least a foot and a half taller than her; she has to crane her neck to look up at his face. But then he crouches, and she has a bewildered second to wonder what he’s doing before he digs a hand into her boots, searching. She tries to not to squirm at the feeling.

He finds the wad of cash stuffed in her right boot, and the knife stashed in her left, and then Mr. Grabby Hands’ wallet in her jacket pocket. He pockets the knife and thumbs through the wallet and the ball of cash. Then he does the same to Otan, pulling out the knives he keeps in each boot and his own wad of money.

“See, we already found the pathetic bit of cash you had stashed in your bags here. And with this,” he waves the money he’s holding, “and whatever you hid in the car you stole, I know you don’t have nearly enough to pay me back.”

“I’ll get you more money. You know I can.” It was, after all, why he’d brought her in in the first place.

“Oh, I know you will,” Baylis assures her, pocketing the cash. He pulls a folded-up piece of paper from his pocket and unfolds it, then holds it in front of her face.

The word “Polis” is written on it, which means nothing to her. Below it someone has drawn an infinity symbol.

She can’t help the incredulous laugh that bubbles out of her. “I can’t get you that,” she argues.

Baylis slaps her. Her nose protests loudly. She can see her blood on Baylis’s hand as he pulls it back. His grin is gone; now he just looks angry.

“It’s a symbol, you bitch,” he hisses. “For an ancient city called Polis. There’s a jewel there that’s worth more than the fucking queen of England. It’s called the Flame. That’s how you’re going to pay me back.”

It takes her a moment to connect the dots; she blames the distracting throbbing of her face. “You’re sending us on a goddamn treasure hunt?”

“Not both of you. I’m keeping your brother so you don’t run off on me again. You bring me the Flame, and I’ll give him back to you, safe and sound.”

He’s offering her a way to freedom, but it smells like bullshit.

“I need Otan’s help,” she tries. “You need to let him come with me.”

Baylis sneers at her. “You think I don’t know who the brains of the operation is? You don’t need him to find it.”

“There’s no way I can find this. Baylis, please,” she begs, “let me pay you back some other way.”

He moves towards her, and she thinks he’s going to slap her again. She braces herself for the hit, but instead, he grabs her face roughly in his hand and squeezes. His rough fingers dig into her cheeks. She can feel them pressing against the bone. “You either bring me back the Flame, or you find some other way to get me as much money as the queen of fucking England. Or you run off and let your brother die. Your choice.”

Emori locks eyes with Otan again. It’s easy to make her choice. “Fine! Fine, I’ll find it. But you have to give me a lead.”

Baylis lets go of her face, and she wishes she had an arm free to scrub the feel of him off her skin. She wants to throw up.

“I gave you a lead. Polis.”

“I need something more than that,” she pleads. “Look, if you want to get this jewel, then you need to give me something more.”

Baylis considers her as he folds the paper back up and tucks it in his pocket. Then he nods. “I got the information from a man named Murphy in The Dead Zone. Look for him.”

She thinks that’s it, but then he pulls out her knife. There’s no way in hell he’s handing it back to her, and that worries her.

“One more thing,” he says. Her stomach churns with fear, writhing like a pit of snakes. She tries to stop herself from trembling, but it’s hopeless. He’s already seen it anyways; there’s no use in playing brave. Baylis gestures with her knife at the scar she gave him. “I’m gonna repay you for this.”

#memori #memori fic #dailymemori #emori #my stories #the 100 #the 100 fic #romancing the flame

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the-noodle-king · 6 years

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For Carlito: 5) What is their sexual orientation? 6)What is their alignment? 7)What is your character’s goal(s)? 53)Give us an in-game interaction between your character and Zenyatta. 76)What are your character’s hobbies? 77)If they played d&d what class and race would they pick? 80)What do they look for in a partner? 83)Do they have any (other) pets or companions? 90) in-game interaction between your character and Emma + Visor.

5) What is their sexual orientation?

Bi, though when he’ in between relationships and looking for some one night action, he leans way more towards guys.

6) What is their alignment?

I’d say Neutral Good, He’s not really chaotic at all, but he joined a bunch of Vigilantes way too quickly to be lawful, and he has a well defined moral compass and believes in bettering the world, so Neutral good is a solid fit.

7) What is your character’s goal(s)?

For a long time he wanted to be a vet, after he gave up on that he’d hoped for nurse, then vet again once he quit the military… but after a taste of being a vet he found that loving animals and wanting to spend the rest of your life covered in cat sick were… not mutually exclusive? Now he’s doing this vigilante thing, but honestly he doesn’t know, he’s just going with whatever feels right at this point. I think his goal is to find a goal.

53) Give us an in-game interaction between your character and Zenyatta.

Zenyatta: “Are the breathing exercises we discussed helping at all?”

Carlito: “Oh yes, they work wonders, I even slept last night!”

(Gibraltar specific with either Zenyatta or Genji present)

Carlito: “Will we be meditating on the cliffs again? The view was beautiful”

If Zenyatta: “It was indeed, but there are many such views to discover still”

if Genji: “I did not appreciate this place’s beauty when I was first here. I’m glad for another chance”

(I headcanon Zen as an all purpose guru; spiritual advice, breathing exercises and even some Yoga classes all rolled into one. Also Carlito has some PTS from his military time mostly manifesting as anxiety leading up to missions, robot mode during mission, and if a shoot out happened, trouble sleeping/even trouble breathing the following night)

76) What are your character’s hobbies?

Carlito fancies himself to be pretty sporty, but truth be told he hasn’t done anything more than jogging in months, so his hobbies are mostly jogging, watching football/talking about it like he still plays regularly, saying “I’d love to go swimming again soon” and swearing he’ll hit the gym more but then getting busy with Desperate Housewives reruns. Also buying more dog toys than Diego will EVER use, anyone whose ever met him would list that as a hobby… or obsession.

77) If they played d&d what class and race would they pick?

His first session he’d be deeply confused, and roll a Human Paladin which he would play very rigidly, then Visor would talk to him about it and an all nighter of the two talking DnD stuff later He’d rock up to session two with a new character sheet to be a custom-race Werewolf Rogue with one level multiclassed into sorcerer. Winston(Obviously he’s the DM, keep up) let’s him get away with a few below average rolls and a couple crazy ideas and suddenly he’s Mister DnD and will not shut up about it, even discussing the campaign mid mission, trying to stress Winston into spilling future plot points. Addendum to the hobbies question: He plays DnD religiously.

80) What do they look for in a partner?

Between Diego and his own love of animals, Dog-Lover is a hard minimum, if you don’t like dogs, Carlito don’t like you (As a partner). Otherwise? He likes people who are open and honest, not one for people who hide their feelings or intentions, or who play games with people. He prefers people on his level, intellectually and class wise, he could never date someone super wealthy or way-way smarter than him. (In regards to that last one though, the persons type of smarts has a big effect on how much smarter they can be than him before it’s a problem. Someone who corrects his maths a bunch? fine. Calls out his poor grammar/spelling/incorrect word use? kicked to the curb. Talks over him in conversation to correct him about something minor because they just HAVE to show off their smarts? literally fed to Diego)

83) Do they have any (other) pets or companions?

Nope, just Diego. Carlito wouldn’t want to split his time for care and affection between more pets, and Diego likes having Carlito to himself too.

90) in-game interaction between your character and Emma + Visor.

Emma: “Hey Carlito! Hey Diego! Ready to go?”

Carlito: “As we’ll ever be, right boy?” Diego: *Affirmative bark*

and

Carlito: “Say Visor, you up for a game after this? Be nice to unwind”

Visor: “Sounds great! Glad I brought my dice!”

Carlito: “Say Visor, you up for some ‘ball after this? Be nice to work up a sweat”

Visor: “Diyos ko(Oh God), uh yeah! Sounds great!”

(Visor is plenty athletic to play ball… he’s just not ready for Carlito’s running around sweaty and shirtless again… or for being up close to see it this time. Watching from Winston’s lab was one thing, but he just isn’t ready for it to be right there)

#Ask #RPTC-Art

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alixofagnia · 7 years

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Get to know your fellow Reylos meme

This will be fun! Thanks for the tag @emperorren.

Answer these 10 Star Wars related questions, reblog and tag your favorite Reylo blogs to join in!

1) Who is your favorite Star Wars character of the new trilogy (excluding Rey and Kylo)?

Wow, that is so unfair because Rey and Kylo are truly my favorites from the ST so far.

Since TLJ came out, I would say Holdo. I love how she was introduced: you didn’t quite know what her deal was (or if that was all just in Poe’s head), but you gradually understood that there was way more to her than met the eye. Some people think she was a wasted character –because apparently showing up for the first time and then dying in the same movie amounts to a wasted, pointless character (Qui-Gon, hello, is that you? Rogue One squadron, are you there?). But I saw TLJ four times in the theater and every single time people literally gasped into the silence of Holdo’s death.

So, yeah, fuck off.

2) What is/are your favorite quote(s) from a Star Wars movie?

The OT movies were my “stay-home-sick” movies when I was a kid – I played the shit out of those VHS tapes, let me tell you. So, there are a lot of quotes from the OT that are just kind of pure nostalgia for me. I’m not a huge fan of the PT and since dialogue is one issue I take with them, I hardly ever quote them except to mock “she’s lost the will to live” because I find that line so problematic, and I just hate it.

It hasn’t been until the ST that certain lines of dialogue have actually resonated with me, probably because I’m seeing them as an adult. There are a lot of terrific quotes from TLJ, but I gotta let them stew a bit longer. So the two I picked are from TFA:

Maz Kanata: The belonging you seek is not behind you. It is ahead. I am no Jedi, but I know the Force. It moves through and surrounds every living thing. Close your eyes. Feel it… The light… it’s always been there. It will guide you.

My liking this quote probably has a lot to do with Lupita N’yongo’s lovely voice and line delivery, because I remember tearing up in the theater when she started talking about the Force, and I swear to you I was not high. I just think it’s so beautifully spiritual, and when you put it into context with Rey’s journey and Kylo’s journey, or any SW character’s journey, really, it carries this deeply profound message of hope and faith.

The entire bridge scene dialogue, but mostly the moment when Han touches his son’s face:

I know it’s not a quote, but so much is contained in that single gesture.

It wasn’t shock at Han’s skewering that made my breath catch and bring a tear to my eye. It was the utterly heartbreaking grace of his final action. It’s such an unexpectedly visceral reaction and, actually, far more profound than I previously believed Han Solo capable of since he was largely a one-note character over the course of his SW career. This moment has taken on much more depth and meaning since TLJ’s release, in terms of Ben Solo’s arc, and I think it will continue to do so after Episode IX.

3) Do you think Kylo/Ben will survive Episode IX?

I have a lot of thoughts about this. Well, mostly just one.

YES.

As is obvious, Kylo Ren is one of my favorite new characters. That has nothing to do with Adam Driver, whom I had never watched before, and nothing to do with what I knew about the character, which was zero. [Srsly, I was in such an ‘I heart SW’ bubble for TFA that I did not even think about, let alone suspect, his heritage until literally the moment he was talking to Vader’s helmet.].

No, it has everything to do, instead, with the complex villain story-line and Byronic heroes. I love complex villainy. I adore Byronic heroes, with their tortured souls and black clothing. OF COURSE I was going to fall for Kylo/Ben. Just a bit.

But he’s also the son of Han Solo and Leia Organa and I love them, too. So, out of loyalty and like the good SW fan I am, I care about their son and what happens to him, and there’s just no hope to be found in Kylo’s death. There’s no good message in it. Even say that he’s “redeemed” or finds salvation or suffers through atonement, fine, whatever. Death is too simple. Vader was not a complex villain. Maybe in his youth he was supposed to be, but after his fall? No. He made his choice, and he chose the wrath and the Dark every day for 20 years until his son came along to rile up the long-buried conflict in his heart. No one conflicted Ben Solo more than Ben Solo himself. He’s his own worst enemy, as we all can be at some point in our lives.

It’s repeated all the time, so I’ll say it again:

Star Wars is a saga predicated on hope.

The message with a dead Ben Solo at Episode IX’s end is simply that of ‘well, you can find a way back from hell, but only if you die’, and that’s really bleak. Yet, it worked for Vader because, in the OT, he was largely an unsympathetic, “more machine than man” character.

Consider: How was Darth Vader going to find salvation and atonement for 20 years’ worth of galactic terrorism and oppression?

Answer: He wasn’t. His crimes were so great and extensive that 10 minutes of “goodness” couldn’t even begin to ease them. Narratively-speaking, his story was complete and it was time for him to meet his end. Character-wise, fueled as he was on hate and anger, and sustained by machinery for so many years, you have to also wonder if Vader wanted to die, ever since the moment he was told that he’d killed his wife and, by extension, his child[ren].

This greatly contrasts with Kylo Ren.

Consider: How is Kylo Ren going to find salvation and atonement for 6 years’ worth of galactic….wait, what?

Answer: The FO as a military and political threat is fairly new. It was not a fully realized organization during the events of Bloodline, though it was (if I remember correctly) in progress in the far regions of space. Ben, aged 23, was still with Luke at this time; he’s 29 by the start of TFA. So, in the span of 6 years, Kylo Ren canonically

destroyed a temple, killing a handful of classmates

started training under a Dark side master

became the leader of a mystery group

killed an old man from his past for withholding information during war time

ordered the mass killing of a small village during war time

interrogated some prisoners during war time

committed patricide during war time

fired on his mom’s ship during war time

killed his abusive master

led a full-scale yet futile attack during war time

tried to kill a projection of his uncle during war time

all while exhibiting acute internal conflict. It’s important to consider the majority of these crimes strictly within their context of war, primarily because it’s in the damn franchise title, but also because it again contrasts with Anakin’s crimes, which were not always within the context/name of war. It’s such a different villain treatment from OT Vader that I think Kylo not only deserves, but demands an equally different resolution.

Therefore, here’s a much more hopeful message on which to conclude the complex villainy of Kylo/Ben and, thus, the entire Skywalker saga:

You can find a way back from hell, if you live well.

4) What is your favorite scene featuring Rey and Kylo?

Ah, shit.

Well, the throne room battle was amazing and the closest to definitely-on-the-same-page as they’ve ever been to date. But I think I have to say the fourth Force bond scene. Hand making-out aside, this scene truly can be read as merely platonic, which I actually love because it’s another example of how this movie as a whole is so versatile and open for varying interpretations and discourse, for years to come!

AT THE SAME TIME, I personally feel that the hand touch (from the skin-on-skin contact, which the camera lovingly and reverentially sexualizes, to the forbidden connotation of Cock-block Luke) sent these two really rolling on a romantic trajectory. This scene also won over many viewers, whose previous feelings about Reylo were lukewarm at best and are now overwhelmingly positive. And that’s because of one undeniable thing:

This is the most emotionally vulnerable we’ve seen either Rey or Kylo.

It’s a major turning point in both their shared interactions and as individual characters. There’s a lot of amazing meta out there right now about Rey and Kylo, articulated far better than what I can produce. So, what I want to quickly add is that, for me, this scene reveals how utterly unselfish they can be with one another. Born from a place of intense, mutual knowing, they offered one another sincere support and reassurance from opposite sides of a political and ideological war. We later learn that this moment of reaching out yielded a shared vision, one where they saw themselves together.

A key takeaway is that they not only acknowledge this vision as truth, but earnestly –almost desperately– welcome it.

For me, this scene alone transcends the depictions of other cinematic romantic pairings within Star Wars itself, the wider genre of sci-fi, and the scale of big-budget franchises. I know I’m biased, but it’s quite frankly unbelievable how much was established and advanced between Rey and Kylo in two and a half hours of screen time, which they had to share with two other interwoven plot lines. For comparison, we have a good 80-90% of AotC entirely devoted to Anidala, and the most I’ve ever felt for them is a tepid interest because George Lucas and the OT said I had to. Written on paper, the Force connection scenes honestly sound super corny, this one especially. That they’re actually some of the film’s strong points is a testament to the story-telling/directorial abilities of Rian Johnson as well as the chemistry and talent of Daisy Ridley and Adam Driver, of course. And the great thing is Reylo isn’t even over! Think how much screen time will be devoted to them in IX and what they could do with that!

This is bound to change upon repeat viewings and/or after IX comes out. But for now, yeah, this is my favorite Rey and Kylo scene.

5) What order did you initially see the saga films in?

I think I was 5 or 6 and I think it was Return of the Jedi first, then A New Hope and Empire (in that order) shortly after. The rest I’ve seen as they’ve been released.

6) If you had a lightsaber, what color would you want it to be?

Maybe like an ice white blue…I’m not much of a lightsaber gal.

7) What are your top 3 favorite Star Wars films?

I’m tentatively going to say Empire, Force Awakens, Last Jedi.

8) Which droid would you most like to own/ have as your sidekick on intergalactic adventures?

What’s that Empire/FO “mouse” droid called? Maybe that one.

9) Which Jedi master would you most like to train under: Luke, Yoda, Qui-Gon or Obi-Wan?

Pfffft. Please. Reylo, obviously.

10) What is your ideal ending for Reylo in Episode IX?

So, I really try not to look at a Reylo ending through rose-tinted glasses. Reylo is a pairing that at this point cannot be taken lightly: it’s dark, it’s deeply complicated, and it’s very imperfect. In other words, it’s an honest, unfeigned pairing and I identify with it so much more because of its mesmerizing humanity.

We inevitably hurt the ones we love; shit happens, people miscommunicate, feelings get hurt. Kylo and now Rey have exercised misguided, even manipulative, behavior toward each other and failed in basic ways to understand and accept one another’s differences despite having shared and attained a powerful moment of clarity in their way forward. People call this ship abusive; I’m not that sorry, but they’re wrong. At worst, it’s unhealthy.

Well, guess what. You can get healthy.

Since I can’t even begin to predict or shape an ending for Reylo, I would just say that I wish for them to be sound in body and sound(er) of mind, and preferably together in some way. I personally want to see that union be romantic, but I will also accept a platonic union. I love and respect these characters so much that, honestly, I just want them to finally find what they’ve been longing and suffering their entire lives for. Now that they’ve at least partially found –and briefly possessed– that, I hope they also find a way to hold on to it in whatever way they can.

So much for not looking at it through rose-tinted glasses.

Tagging: @maleficentrox; @crez0le; @reylotea; @adambenkyloren; @paper-radio; @violet-is-maybe; @mooshygirl; @dr-porkchop1; @him-e

#reylo #rey #kylo ren #ben solo #star wars episode ix #can you guess at what i actually wanted to talk about #complex villains #byronic heroes #humanity #meta

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victorineb · 8 years

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Fic Recs Mega Post

Whenever I write one of these posts I’m struck by the sheer amount of incredible writing talent in this little fandom of ours. It is quite astonishing, and it’s a privilege to get to read all of this wonderful work. Below there’s a small selection of the fantastic stuff I’ve been reading recently, featuring gods, monsters and feral jungle men - and that’s just for starters!

Storms (series) by @lovecrimevariations (KareliaSweet): This frankly astonishing series starts out in barnstorming but fairly innocuous style in Where Are The Storms I Was Promised, in which Will Graham, famous monster hunter, is called to deal with the Wendigo that’s been terrorising an entire town. And then it proceeds, over the course of a further six instalments, to document the beautiful, bloody, often painful course of the relationship between Will and Hannibal, constantly deepening and recontextualising the ‘verse as it goes. Reading this series is almost like watching a really good magic trick – every time you think you’ve got its measure, it pulls something new and surprising out of its hat. And it’s not just flash and sparkle either, the writing is utterly beautiful, the characters are perfectly captured and it is both deeply funny and enormously moving (I was genuinely weepy a number of times throughout). Plus, it also features a majestic, powerful, do-not-under-any-circumstances-fuck-with incarnation of Bedelia, who is worth the price of admission all by herself. Seriously, she was my favourite part of this whole series and I love it beyond any sense or reason. If you have any love of writing whatsoever, read this series, it is a masterclass.

You’ll be in my heart by @starkaryen: Based on the totally beautiful art (here and here) by @camilleflyingrotten, here Will is a scientist on an expedition to find and study gorillas. Instead, he ends up finding Hannibal, a mostly-feral man who lives in the jungle, has an adopted gorilla family, and takes an immediate shine to Will. Who, because this is Will and Hannibal, finds himself taking a shine right back. And all is rosy in Camp Hannigram, until Jack damn Crawford sticks his nose in (like always) and threatens Hannibal’s way of life. As befits the utterly gorgeous artwork, this fic is just lovely from start to finish. It features a particularly adorable version of Hannibal – the scenes in which he indulges his obsession with Will’s safari hat are nothing short of precious – and a charmingly earnest Will. It’s a simple, innocent bit of loveliness, which is rather refreshing in this dark and sophisticated fandom of ours XD.

(Also, if you’d like a little more Tarzan AU, this time with an A/B/O flavour, check out Hannizan by @hotsauce418, which is just pure filth and utterly wonderful with it XD.)

We, the common by @thelongcon23 (thelongcon): A retelling of the show (and beyond) in omegaverse style, this fic alternates masterfully between Hannibal and Will’s POVs as the omega becomes fascinated, obsessed, and ultimately falls in love with the alpha. The result is that while the course of events remains largely the same (Will still gets framed and gutted, and they still go over the cliff in each other’s arms), others change drastically (the way Will locates Hannibal in Florence, for instance, gets a very clever omegaverse twist). And their relationship after the fall? Well, I can pretty much guarantee you’ve never seen it go down quite like this before. If you’re looking for fluff, I suggest you go elsewhere, but if you’re after passion, intensity, and that terribly Hannigram sense that love and cruelty are not mutually exclusive, this is the fic for you. The writer has a firm grip on the characters’ voices and motivations and is uncompromising and incisive in their betrayal of both. This is not necessarily an easy read (particularly towards the end, when Hannibal gives Will a reckoning of his own) but it is a compelling and fascinating one.

Cookies by @desperatelyseekingcannibals (TigerPrawn): Now, those of you who are after some fluff, here’s some of the best around. Tiger’s non-cannibal AU is an absolute treat, full of emotional idiots, kick-ass women and a totally adorable kid (and I don’t say that lightly cos kid!fic ain’t my thing!). It all starts when Will accompanies his daughter Abigail as she goes door-to-door selling cookies for charity and finds himself face to face with the ever-so-handsome Doctor Lecter. And then somehow, before he knows it, Will is agreeing to a date in exchange for Hannibal buying all of Abby’s stock, and soon finding that he might have stumbled into a real relationship. Not that it’s smooth sailing, of course, this is still Hannigram we’re talking about! It is my deep and ardent belief that Hannibal dreams of being a romcom when it grows up and with this utterly charming, romantic, as-sweet-as-its-name-suggests fic, that dream is made a reality. Anyone who’s ever wanted to see Will Graham and Hannibal Lecter fall in love the old-fashioned way (you know, without all those annoying stints in prison and near-fatal injuries), treat yourself and read this fic. I guarantee it will melt even the most dark and twisted of hearts.

Picture Imperfect by @shiphitsthefan: Will Graham is a very special alpha – unlike many of his sex, he can be trusted not to turn into a hormonal animal around omegas. It’s how he’s made his career as a photographer. That is, right up until he’s in a room with concert harpsichordist Hannibal Lecter and everything goes to hell when they scent each other and can barely keep themselves from ripping their clothes off and bonding right there and then. Seems like they’re true mates and it’s only a matter of time before they give into their urges – so Will, being a decent and respectful alpha, has to get this courtship show on the road before that happens. Well, mostly before that happens. Given the UST inherent to the plot, this is every bit as intensely, stupidly hot as you’d hope, but it’s also a really clever, thoughtful exploration of the omegaverse concept, set in a ‘verse in which omegas are the ruling gender, a nice reversal of the usual a/b/o setup. Plus it has an almost indecently adorable version of Hannigram, in which progressive Will and traditionalist Hannibal attempt to conjoin their lives so that they can get on and shag already! Smart and sexy a/b/o is one of our fandom’s greatest strengths and this is truly just an exemplary version of it.

Space Invader II: A Very Darko Sequel by @devereauxsdisease: A sequel to the utterly wonderful Space Invader (and if you haven’t read it, I’m begging you, go remedy that this instant), this return to Dev’s Spacedogs ‘verse sees Adam and Nigel still ensconced in blissful coupledom. So blissful, in fact, that it’s making Darko wonder if he might want some of that relationship stuff for himself. Cue the appearance of a certain sassy lab tech last seen working for the FBI. That’s right, Beverly Katz is alive, in town and about to rock Darko’s world XD. This is just an utter joy to read, stuffed with Dev’s trademark mix of fantastic dialogue, heartfelt emotion and wickedly dirty jokes. And best of all is her way with the characters, all of whom are wonderfully loveable and who work beautifully together. I spent the whole fic marvelling at the way in which these disparate characters come together and feel like they were always meant to be that way – they make a lovely, entertainingly weird family and are never less than an utter delight to spend time with.

Forgemaster by @llewcie: Valhalla Enchanted by way of the Greek gods now, in this peerless piece of sweetness by the lovely Llew. Char and Ella are the new Dionysus and Aphrodite (in this ‘verse, the gods can retire and be replaced) and live like brother and sister, i.e. bickering, winding each other up, pushing each other’s buttons... They particularly like making bets, which winds up with Ella making Char agree to three dates with Hephaestus, being played in this fic by One Eye. Given that One Eye is unsociable, ragged, and constantly dirty from his forge, Char is less than impressed with his companion and says so… somewhat unfortunately within One Eye’s earshot. So when, despite himself, Char finds himself falling for the blacksmith god’s charms, he’s got a lot of work to do to convince One Eye that he’s worth the trouble! Llew has the charm turned up all the way to eleven in this gorgeously frothy, funny little comedy of errors, with a sweetly vain version of Char melting under the steadily growing appeal of One Eye’s gentle strength. If you need cheering up for any reason, this fic should be your first port of call.

Pure Imagination by @constructfairytales (beforethedawn and Destinyawakened): Stranger Things was one of my favourite shows last year (admittedly it’s no Hannibal, but what is?). It was smart and weird, and as an 80s baby it pressed every last one of my nostalgia buttons, from soundtrack to costume design. So, of course, it was with nothing but delight that I started this crossover AU, in which Will is police chief of the town where young Will Byers goes missing and Hannibal is the psychiatrist he brings in to counsel the traumatised community. And I wasn’t disappointed – this is a fantastic blend of Hannibal’s surreal romanticism with the full-on monstery weirdness of the ST ‘verse, with plenty of unexpectedly but pleasingly fluffy Hannigram at the centre of it. Though it follows the basic plot of ST, having Will and Hannibal involved inevitably shakes things up (Will’s empathy is given a brilliant twist) and predictable this certainly ain’t. Instead it’s fun, thrilling and playful, with at least one story development that genuinely had me on the edge of my seat. And did I mention the Hannigram? Cos, yeah, there’s no slow burn here. Our boys are goners from the second they meet and the intensity of their connection is all kinds of wonderful.

The Estate by @bokuno-jinsei: Amusingly, the tags on this fantastic fic eventually turn into a short plea for Will Graham to stop thinking so much (a plea which anyone who’s written the over-analytical little shit will know is hopeless). Fortunately, Will clearly paid no attention, and so we readers are treated to this charmingly introspective piece of canon divergence. So, Hannibal gets as far as sitting Will at the dinner table in Florence. But, before he can get out his bonesaw, he seemingly has second thoughts and so Will wakes some time later to find himself ensconced in the last place he expected to revisit – Lecter Castle. Where, he finds, Hannibal has decided to change the game between them: if Will agrees to see if they can live together, Hannibal will cease any attempts to change or influence Will. So the pair find themselves as the unlikeliest of roommates as Will wrestles with his demons, his desires and, inevitably, his feelings for Hannibal. Anybody who enjoys intense conversations, brewing sexual tension and Hannibal in waders (yes, really), step this way, you’re in for a treat.

Inevitable by Vulcanmi: I do adore canon divergence. And I have a weakness for prison fics (love Hannigram falling in love while incarcerated). So this fic is entirely my jam. It picks up in the second half of s3: Hannibal is in jail, Will is “happily” married to Molly, and Jack is still desperate to have his pet empath back on board to deal with the Tooth Fairy. Except in this ‘verse, Will decides not to give into Jack and remains with his family, far away from Baltimore. In order to make it up to his former boss, though, Will writes a letter to a certain inmate, suggesting that he offer his services where Will cannot. Of course, it’s not the last letter Will ends up sending to Hannibal. Not by a long shot. And we all know what happens once Will gives Hannibal an inch… (hey, I didn’t mean that kind of inch, you filthy perverts!). Though it starts out as an angsty exploration of Will’s determination to separate himself from Hannibal, somewhere along the way this fantastic fic transforms into a twisted yet adorable romcom, as our murder muffins confront their feelings and try to figure out whether there’s any version of the world in which they might be together. And, frankly, it’s an utter delight to read. One for those (*raises hand*) who like their hurt/comfort 20% hurt and 80% comfort.

Inside the Imitation by @belladonnaq (Belladonna_Q) with artwork by @reapersun: A confession. I’ve never seen The Thing (because I’m a scaredy-cat who doesn’t watch anything that could remotely be described as scary. “But Vic, isn’t Hannibal scary?” Yeah, yeah, I contain multitudes, now hush mango, I’m working). However, I’ve never let ignorance get between me and my Hannigram and so I jumped headfirst into the The Thing/Hannibal crossover which, fortunately, works utterly brilliantly with absolutely zero knowledge of the film. So, once again Jack Crawford finds reason to call upon the services of Will Graham and Hannibal Lecter. Except this time, it’s not in order to investigate the Minnesota Shrike, but a strange case with its roots in a decades-old tragedy in Alaska. Soon things turn weird and monstery and Will and Hannibal find themselves reluctantly (well, as ever, Will’s reluctant, Hannibal’s thrilled) investigating a burned-out government building with something truly frightening at its core. This is thrilling, clever and wonderfully creepy, a fantastic reframing of canon (especially the Hannigram) and tons of fun throughout. I have to admit, I did not see the twist coming in this fic (though that’s possibly because I’m a dim bulb when it comes to plot) and it was delivered brilliantly, turning everything on its head and upping the stakes for our beloved murder muffins. Oh, and make sure to check out @reapersun’s fabulous artwork that accompanies the fic, it’s staggeringly gorgeous.

The Marriage of Heaven and Hell: Volume 2 by @fragile-teacup: A continuation of the marvellous The Spaces Between series, this picks up a little after volume one, with our boys enjoying Argentinian high society. Unfortunately, while the end of the previous instalment hinted at full-blown murder husbandry, it quickly turns out that Will and Hannibal haven’t quite sorted out their feelings to anyone’s satisfaction (you’re shocked, I can tell). Fortunately, we’re pretty much out of slow burn territory here and the idiots manage to get their act (mostly) together just in time for some ghosts to rear their perfectly-coiffed, millionairess heads and throw a spanner in the works. This sequel continues the achingly lovely tone of its predecessor, with romance a-plenty amongst bouts of emotional idiocy and bloodlust. It’s sweet and tender without compromising on the intensity and darkness of our beloved boys and builds their relationship with care and patience, allowing for a believable building of trust and love between them. It is, in other words, a treat to read in every way, so get yourself to ao3 and have at it!

As ever and always, if I’ve miscredited anyone or if there are bad links, please let me know and I’ll correct it ASAP. Happy reading, lovely fannibals!

#fic rec mega post #hannibal fic rec #hannigram fic rec #spacedogs fic rec #rare pairs fic rec #hannibal #hannigram #spacedogs #rare pairs

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