#I hope the team -childhood friends- will be happy and alive!

[sky-casino]

this love - teenage dad!itoshi sae x fem!reader

pairing: itoshi sae x fem!reader

genre: teenage dad!sae au, fluff, angst, tiny smut

wc: 4,600+

a/n: i started writing this last May, when i was having relentless teenage dad!sae thoughts lol. sae might be OOC in some parts. but honestly, i don't think he's a bad person and i believe that he will mature as he grows old, which is reflected in this story through his character development.

hope you enjoy and feedback/likes/reblogs will be greatly appreciated!

"this love is good this love is bad this love is alive back from the dead these hands had to let it go free and this love came back to me"

you and sae were childhood friends, living close to each other as neighbors for as long as you could remember. you also grew even closer to the entire itoshi family because you lost your parents in a car accident as a kid. and with your parents and sae's parents being family friends, they took care of you as your legal guardians since your parents' deaths.

during your first year in high school, he asked if you could be the soccer team's manager since you were smart, analytical, and organized. you agreed eagerly, excited to be up close to his and rin's exhilarating games that you've always loved.

eventually, the team's captain started making quite aggressive moves on you in secret. and you were getting more and more uncomfortable and afraid. until sae saved you one evening after practice and the both of you reported the captain, resulting to his expulsion.

after he walked you home that night, he made sure that you were feeling better before you parted ways. you were crying not only because the captain scared you, but also because of sae's kindness. you couldn't even imagine what would have happened if sae didn't come to save you.

the fall into sae started getting faster because of that incident. you've always had an inkling that you loved sae ever since you were both young. but you shrugged it off all this time, afraid that acting on it would ruin the friendship.

so you were astounded when sae confessed to you a month after the incident. he said that rin and his friends were so amazed by his courage when he saved you, so they relentlessly encouraged him to finally confess. they believed that if there's one man for you in this world, it's sae, your knight in shining armor, or cleats to be more precise.

after he poured out his feelings, you did the same. and the two of you got together rather pretty quickly, much to the delight of your family and friends.

to be honest, nothing much changed with your daily routine: he still picked you up in the morning so you could walk together to school, eating lunch together, he practices with the club after classes as you watch and take notes as the manager, walking home side-by-side after school. it's mostly the same, except for the hand-holding, the quick kisses, his thumb caressing the back of your hand as you walk together slowly, intending to savor each moment.

but of all the things or changes that happened as a result of being sae's girlfriend, your favorite one takes place every saturday morning. sae goes for a run at 5:30am and at around 7:00am, he quietly enters your home with the key you gave him. he takes a quick shower and gets some clothes from the pile he brought to your home days after becoming official. after he dresses up, he slowly snuggles next to you in bed and spoons you. given how much of a deep sleeper you were, you don't notice him right away until your nose picks up the insane combination of his body wash and shampoo. you're still sleepy but you can't help but turn around and hug him back, basking in his warmth and godly scent. then you two spend a chill and quiet weekend together. cooking, watching shows or movies, napping, and sae even helps you clean your house.

you were very happy together. even though he had to leave after getting scouted by Spain, you were happy and excited for him. but also sad of course because you were gonna miss him for sure. however, you did your best to hide that because if sae aimed to be the best striker in the world, you wanted to be the most supportive girlfriend in the world. you believed that that's what he deserves.

you both managed to do long-distance relationship until he had to return home to renew his passport.

he surprised you and his family, not telling any of you that he's coming home.

you were delighted to see him and spend time with him again.

he was still the same sae you knew, mostly. however, the more you were with him, the more you noticed that something's quite different about him. you didn't think much about it at first because he was still so loving, sweet, and touchy with you. but to others... he has now become rude and disrespectful. he always brought you along to his interviews and other scheduled stuff, and you felt shocked and disappointed by his words, by his answers to the press, and the way he carried himself.

afraid to get into a fight after yearning for his presence but also wanting to say something, you opted to gently reprimand him. sae said yes to your remarks but nothing really changed, which saddened you. the old sae always listened and obliged to you.

eventually, you witnessed his confrontation with rin, whom you have treated as your own younger brother. you were angry and devastated by sae's words to his sibling. you witnessed it from a far and you were on your way to them but your classmates started calling out to you for a project that you had to do together at someone's house, so you had no choice but to leave.

that night, after you left your groupmate's house, you went straight to the itoshi residence. you were fed up with sae and this new person he has become, and his fight with rin was the last straw. the sae you knew would never hurt and speak to his brother like that.

you went to sae's room and said your piece. sae denied to take responsibility for the change he went through, dismissing everything you said with "i'm just being honest. what can I do if I feel that way?"

you couldn't believe that instead of feeling remorsefuland apologizing, sae was being dismissive and even accused you of overreacting, which resulted to you feeling that he's gaslighting you.

you felt completely heartbroken, trembling as you cried. it's like you just got stabbed, and then the knife just keeps turning and turning very slowly. you felt that you had no choice but to break it off with him. his eyes widened and he quickly stopped you from removing the couple ring he gave you to commemorate your first month together. he begged you to stay but at the same time, he still didn't want to take accountability.

you removed the ring and walked out. you even thanked his parents for everything and apologized before leaving.

one night some weeks later, you heard a knock on your door and found sae there with his suitcase. it was a bit surprising to see him, but a part of you expected it. his flight back to Spain is in a few hours and you considered the possibility that despite the messy breakup, he would want to at least say goodbye to you personally. either to just bid farewell, or try to win you back.

you let him in and it was awkward, tension thick as hell in the air. he slowly closed the distance between you and seeing the familiar look in his eyes, you knew what he wanted.

after a short internal battle, you obliged and the two of you made love. sae thought that you've forgiven him and accepted the new him, happy to be back together again. but you clarified everything with a curt, "this is the last time." and with that, sae got his heart broken again. he tried to plead again just like before, but you retorted desperately, "don't make this harder than it already is, please. we're just having the same argument again and again. and it's clear that none of us is gonna let up. i'm tired, sae." and with that, he stared at you for a while with a look of shock, frustration, and pain. he quietly put on his clothes and dragged his suitcase. "goodbye, y/n." he mutters before opening your front door.

a couple of months later, you started having suspicions and went to the doctor. she confirmed that your hunch was correct, you are pregnant.

on your way home after the appointment, you did your best to keep yourself from trembling and crying. you also recalled what happened that night with sae.

sae has always come inside you, always, as the both of you were confident in the pills' effectiveness (and it just feels so much better that way). and so that night, he asked if he could come inside you like usual. you knew that you haven't been taking pills since your breakup with him, but you decided to just buy pills the morning after so you responded to him with a, "yes, you can" because the honest-to-god truth was that you just wanted to feel his warm liquid gush inside you one last time. however, you woke up very late as you didn't hear your alarm. you took your bicycle to rush to the nearby store to buy the pills and took them on the spot after you got out of the store. you had a feeling that it would be ineffective given that it's already past the timeframe, but you were still hoping.

back to the present, you kept reprimanding and blaming yourself over and over again, until you realized that you unconsciously brought yourself to the itoshi residence, which was quite near your own home.

you were about to continue walking home until rin, who was doing his daily jog routine, called out to you. he ran to you and was surprised to see your pale face and how hard you were trembling. he invited you inside their home urgently, but you asked first if his parents are there because you're not yet ready to face them and tell the truth.

rin assured you and said that his mom and dad will come home late. you obliged and went inside to drink some water and rest.

the news of your pregnancy was weighing on you so heavily that you were struggling to breathe. because of this struggle and the panic you've been enduring, you decided to tell rin the truth. he was dumbstruck and speechless as you finally cried.

you poured out all your worries: how would his parents react? how would sae react? would he accept the baby despite the breakup or ask you to get an abortion? how about your studies? your future?

rin suggested for you to tell his parents as soon as possible, as he was certain that they would support and take care of you and the baby. his words brought a sense of relief and you suddenly felt sleepy and exhausted from all the stress. he told you to get some good sleep, and you headed to sae's room because you realized how much you miss him.

you woke up later in the night and sae's parents were in the living room, relaxing after a tiring day of socializing with friends. they happily greeted you, saying that they're happy that you still visit them despite parting ways with their firstborn son.

rin who was sitting on the couch across his parents gave you a knowing yet assuring look, trying to make you remember his suggestion earlier.

you took a deep breath and apologized to them for the sudden news you were about to share. you emphasized your intent to keep the baby, regardless of what they or sae want.

to your surprise, they were happy to hear that they were about to have their first grandchild. sae's mom was even crying tears of joy. his dad said that you and the baby should live in their house and that you don't need to worry about money. they also suggested for you to delay entering college and focus on the pregnancy first. that would be better than entering college and then having to take a break once your tummy grows and labor is coming closer. this way, your entrance will be delayed but  you will have an overall smooth college experience without interruption and judgment from others.

just like his mom, you were also shedding tears of joy now as you hear their reassuring words of support. you're lucky to have them as unofficial in-laws.

the next nine months were surreal. you were happy and grateful for all the support from the itoshi family and from your friends. but missing sae and fearing his reaction were constant part of your days, sometimes even causing you to burst in tears.

you asked your friends to absolutely keep the entire ordeal a secret from sae as you intended to tell him yourself at the right time. as much as you hated the fact that he had changed for the worse, you still wanted to support him in his sports career. him suddenly knowing that you're pregnant might derail his focus and entire career. or it might cause a new fight between the two of you. both of those possible scenarios would not be good for anyone.

three years later, sae came home for the first time since the breakup. he's not the type to make a fuss out of his arrival, so he simply arrived home.

his parents were astonished and reprimanded him for not notifying them in advance, but he nonchalantly replied that it's no big deal. he was embarrassed to show it, but he really missed his parents. his contract with Royale Youth mandated him to play for three years uninterrupted, so he couldn't come home until now.

you could hear them outside your and your son's room and you were practically frozen. you had no choice now but to tell sae everything.

they were near your door when his parents slowly told him—for a lack of better word—that they have a surprise for him in the guest room.

you held your son—who by the way is a carbon copy of sae—as the parents slowly opened the door.

before sae could react, your son ran to his grandparents as he squealed, "granma! granpa!"

your heart was palpitating so hard as you watched sae watch your son with wide eyes. you've never seen him this shocked before. he's literally staring at his mini version.

after your son hugged his grandparents, he noticed sae standing tall before him, unmoving and with wide eyes and furrowed brows. your little boy got scared and ran to you yelping, "mama!".

you carried him onto your lap, comforting him as you finally told the truth, "don't worry, sweetie. no need to be afraid... he's your dad."

you were looking at sae rather nervously but also with mild confidence as you said those words.

you didn't know how he would react beyond his confusion, but you were surprised to see tears fall from his eyes and a smile form on his face as he crouched down to be closer to your little boy, who has calmed down a bit now. sae's parents were also crying as they watch their son and his mini-me finally meet.

sae gently opened his arms to invite his son for a hug, and you also encouraged him to go to his dad. your son was obedient as usual, so he quickly ran to his dad to hug him.

as they embraced, sae looked at you and whispered with an amused smile, "we have a son?". you nodded in reply and finally cried too as you could no longer hold back the tears.

"what's your name?" sae asked.

"seikou!" the little boy answered with excitement as he learned to say his name properly just recently.

that night, you and sae put seikou to bed and had a long conversation afterwards in sae's room. it was getting late and you were sitting on sae's bed while he was on his couch.

"so... how have you been?" sae asked cautiously but with a hint of excitement as he finally gets to talk to you again after a long time.

"i'm doing well, i believe? i postponed starting university for a year, but besides that, there hasn't been any issues at school. i will be graduating next year, as expected. your parents have been a great support... they take care of seikou whenever i couldn't. rin has been a good and cool uncle as well." you let our a chuckle as you recall rin playing robots and soccer with your son.

"that's... that's good to hear."

"how about you?" it was your turn to ask, and yet sae seemed to be surprised when he heard you.

"i'm... good. haven't been back here for years, so... it's a bit jarring, but it feels good."

you smiled at him in response, not knowing what else to say.

awkward silence. tension heavy. air thick.

"why didn't you tell me?" sae finally asked the important question, finally addressed the elephant in the room. he sounded like he was suppressing his desperation for your answer.

"i'm sorry, sae. but you know our breakup was bad... it was painful. we didn't really end things on a good note, remember? i was extremely scared when i found out. all i could think of was you, and how you would react. i considered calling you but i wasn't sure if you would even answer. i was afraid that we would just end up fighting again, that i would hear you say the words, 'abort it.', and i knew that would break me even more." you rambled on, ending up in tears. you realized how much you've been holding these words like a burden.

"baby, why would you think that i would want you to abort our child?" sae asks in a demanding tone, quickly kneeling before you and holding your arms gently but firmly.

"i don't know, sae! you were a different person already. damaging your relationship with your family, with me, all because of soccer? i reached out to you several times back then to tell me what happened in Spain that made you change, but you disregarded me. i just felt like i couldn't trust you anymore. that's why i kept it a secret back then. but i was planning all along to tell you, i was just waiting for the right opportunity and time." you explained, not able to look him in the eye.

"alright, i understand. sorry, i'm not mad, okay? i just... wanted to know why." he loosened his grip on you and rubbed your arms soothingly.

"it's okay. i knew you'd have many questions, and rightfully so." you whispered.

it pained sae that you couldn't look him in the eye, all he could do at the moment was gently touch his forehead with yours as the two of you breathed in sync to calm down as he continued to hold your arms. it was extremely quiet, the only thing you could hear was the clock ticking, sae breathing, and his heart beating.

you stayed like that for a minute, until—

"let's start over." sae states firmly.

"what?" you asked in a whisper, breaking the forehead touch, not believing what you just heard.

"let's start over." sae repeats patiently, in a slower and gentler tone, as gentle as his smile. the smile you fell in love with and the last time you saw it has been ages ago.

you were speechless.

"let's start over, with our son."

you finally let your dam of tears break, hiding your face in your hands.

"y/n, listen to me. i have a plan, an actual plan." sae said as he freed your face from your hands. he delivered the latter part of his sentence while laughing, as he knew how much you loved concrete, actionable plans.

"my contract with Royale Youth has expired and they're currently writing up a new one back in Spain. i was supposed to ask my legal team to review it so i can sign it for renewal before flying here, but there were some delays and Royale Youth hasn't submitted the contract yet. but i didn't want to wait for it anymore and so my original plan was to just renew it when i go back there three months from now. but since i learned about our little family, i've been thinking about... not renewing anymore. i... don't want to go back there anymore. i want to live here and be a proper family with you, our baby, my parents, and rin."

sae shared his plan quite quickly, but you were able to understand everything.

"are you sure? but how about your career?"

"i'll join a team here. i've been getting relentless offers from local teams all this time." he said with a smile.

"but you don't like playing for a Japanese team, right?"

"that's not important. i learned today that i'm a dad, do you think anything else is as important? what matters is that the three of us are together." sae says rather enthusiastically, until his smile faded away as he bit his lip, something he does when he's embarrassed.

"and you know... i've been secretly watching rin's soccer career, so i'm also inadvertently updated on the state of Japanese soccer. it's not so... bad after all? at least compared to before." he admitted hesitantly.

wow. you thought. sae really has changed. or more like, he's back to his old self, the version of him that you knew and loved. he wouldn't admit it yet, but he also wants to play with his brother, and the right opportunity has come.

"that's so good to hear, sae. you just made me extremely happy." you tell him with tears of joy as you lightly squish his cheeks, just like how you did before.

"this might be embarrassing but fuck it i'm gonna say it anyway."

"hmm? what is it?"

"before coming here, i told myself that i had two options: when i arrive and you're happily with someone else, then i'll finally let you go and move on. but if you're single, i'll try one more time for the last time, and if you still say no, then i'll finally give up. it was some sort of ultimatum i imposed on myself." he chuckles as he looks away in embarrassment.

"aww, sae-"

"but today, i found out that we have a child together and honestly, i couldn't ask for anything better. this is it, y/n. this is our sign to start over and try again." his voice is full of hope, and you wanted to give that to him.

"okay... okay, sae. let's try this again." you tell him before the two of you kiss with so much longing, as if both of you were trying to make up for lost time.

sae went through with his plan and after discussions and signing of documents, he is now scheduled to debut in rin's team. their dream of being the best duo will finally come to fruition.

while sae was busy with his own affairs, you were focused on finishing university.

fortunately, you and sae seem like proper parents now as you both help each other with childcare. sae brings seikou to the daycare in the morning thrice a week, sometimes he even watches him secretly as he learns new things from the teacher and plays with his friends. sae picks him up in the afternoon and the two of them go to your university to pick you up as well. the three of you enjoy bonding time by eating ice cream and strolling around in the park.

sometime during the start of your last year in college, sae proposed to you. you said yes (duh) and he told you that he wants to get married soon after you graduate. he excitedly albeit shyly told you that he wants to be an official family as soon as possible because he wants to grow said family. you thought he was joking but he was serious when he said he wants a daughter.

just a few months after your graduation, in a small but beautiful wedding with only close friends and family, you married your childhood friend, your best friend. the whole experience was so surreal and you kept thinking to yourself that you and sae withstood not only the distance of living in two different countries, the messy breakup, the sudden pregnancy that he belatedly knew about, but also the test of time. you realized once more that sae is your person, and that you are his, because you grew up together since you were toddlers and now have your own, and because you are now Mrs. Itoshi Sae. it's something you dreamed of for years but at one point had to let go of, but ultimately still ended up becoming a reality.

juggling motherhood and university exhausted you, and so after your wedding and sae's relentless encouragement, you decided to rest for 1-2 years after your graduation. and it was the perfect time for you to try having a second baby, a daughter, as sae wanted.

your first child, seikou, is five years old by the time your newborn daughter, shiori, arrived. and seikou was so delighted to finally hold his little sister.

while you and sae watch your kids, you giggle as you told sae, "she looks like me, but she got your colors. teal eyes and mauve hair." and sae couldn't help but give a proud smile.

a few years later, sae is (still) the top soccer player in Japan (and is also still quite rude to the media lol. you gently reprimanded him but he said this is the best he can do and you just accepted it lol). and you mostly work from your home studio as a children's book writer. seikou is now 10 years old and is following his father's footsteps, and shiori just said that she wanted to be a singer. but you expect to hear a new dream from her in the following days because lately, she wants to be everything. except to be a soccer player, she said she doesn't want that because she hates sweating and being under the sun.

you're both amused and worried whenever you see how much sae spoils your daughter. you kinda expected this because he's the one who requested a daughter years ago, but shiori thinks she's a literal princess because sae says that she is and treats her like one. you remind sae from time to time to tone it down because you don't want your daughter to be a spoiled brat.

"i spoil her so much because i see her as like, the symbol of our new beginning, you know? we had her after we reconciled and reunited, after you agreed to give me a second chance, so she's very special to me, y/n."

"i know, i feel the same way. but the other day she's yelling at her friends to call her 'princess'. she's starting to demand others and that's not good, sae. we should correct it as early as now. okay?"

sae was surprised to hear about that incident and realized that yes, he's gone overboard as a doting dad.

"yes, y/n. i'm sorry, i'll tone it down." he says with an embarrassed smile and you walked over to hug him.

"why are you laughing?" he asks as he rubs your back.

"nothing, i just never thought you'll be the doting dad type."

"ugh. stop it, y/n. you're embarrassing me." he says as he hides his face in the crook of your neck, and you could feel his face burning with embarrassment.

[sweetsugarcakes]

Hi! I liked the last one so much I thought I might just request, like, another one??

An Azula x gn reader again. So, Azula and reader are childhood friends, and reader is the exact opposite of her. They are kind, compassionate and believe in the good of people. And that belief is the only thing that kept reader from deserting Azula even when she turned more cruel over time; they hope that Azula will find her good side some time. Azula is very dependant on reader's friendship as it's one of the only ones she's got, and over time she has developed some more serious feelings, but she doesn't tell reader. However, at one point, probably after a battle, it's enough. Reader can't take Azula's cruelty anymore and, under tears, tell Azula how much they detest her cruelty and want her to change her ways and that they know she has good inside of her, because (drumroll) they have loved her for years but think they will have to leave her once and for all if she can't change. Of course, Azula is devastated. She is happy her feelings are mutual but still, there is drama because of reader's accusations and threat of leaving.

Again, a happy end would be phenomenal.

This is a long ask! I hope you like this one too!

Have a great time :))

hii I’m so glad you enjoyed the other one :)

I love this scenario I’ll totally write it❤️

Azula x gn! reader

How much you saw the good in people, even if they were a bad person. You know there must be a reason why they are the way they are. Ever since you were kids you, Ty lee, Mai Zuko and Azula were all friends. At first you noticed in the small cracks of Azula you saw her a bit mean towards the group. She pushed Ty lee when she did an amazing cartwheel instead of her. She almost set Mai on fire for Zuko to save her. You noticed but brushed them off because she wasn’t so bad. But she’ll get better you hoped.

You also noticed that she never was that mean to you. Sure she’ll give you attitude and make snarky comments at you but you definitely got special treatment among the others. You remember having that conversation with her when you were little.

“[Name], promise you’ll never leave my side? I feel that you’re the only one that understands me.” Azula grinned as she looked at her used to be innocent face.

Your little self smiled widely and nod. “I promise Azula I’ll never leave your side!”

So…you never left her side which meant you saw what she had done. When she tricked her uncle and her brother. Almost burning Ty lee alive and forcing her to join her team. Making Mai abandon her baby brother. Even more things which involved her trying to catch the Avatar. But you stood by it all still thinking “She’s going to be good.”

You even thought that when she burned down innocent peoples villages. You saw how miserable the nations had been because of her doings. Not only the nations but Mai and Ty lee were as well. You can tell by the looks of their eyes, they don’t want to do this. They were so scared to stand up to her. You wanted the Avatar to restore the peace between nations and maybe Azula would be better.

One day, at the boiling rock Mai betrayed Azula by saving Zuko. You watched whole scene unfold with Ty lee. Before the two were about to fight each other, Ty lee chi blocked Azula making her fall. Ty lee looked at you, “Come on [Name].” She stuck her hand out as you hesitated and looked at Azula at the floor . You called the guards over to take both Mai and Ty lee away. The two girl were shocked as you chose Azula over your freedom. You helped up Azula since she was still paralyzed. You looked at as she smiled at you. “I know you’ll pick the right choice” hee eyes were filled with love for you and you had it too. She made the guards take Mai and Ty lee away to be in prison.

You thought about how she was ready to kill Mai and make her two best friends rot in the cell. You and Azula come back from trying to catch Aang as it failed but in the process, Azula had hurt other people, you saw children hurt and crying. You saw their parents crying as well or they were deceased from her ordering the soldiers to get information from them and if they didn’t comply well…

Your head was pounding and your hands were shaking you don’t know what to do. You were holding back from crying. Azula still mad about Mai and Ty lee but having you by her side was everything she needed anyway. You two were back at the palace as you finally spoke up…

“Azula I-i can’t do this…” you muttered out. Azula turned to you.

“What?!” She shouts and confused.

“I can’t do this. I’m can’t be by your side. T-this is too much…” you looked down.

“What are you talking about your staying with me! You promised me you’ll always be by my side [Name]! Why are you doing this?! You’re going to be a traitor just like them huh?” Azula was angry you can tell but then stunned seeing you crying and glaring at her.

“I’m done Azula. I did promise but I saw the good in you. I thought everyday that you’ll change into a good person. But seeing you doing these horrific things… it’s awful but I still stayed because I loved you for years. I-I still love you but I can’t if you’re going to be like this. T-this is just cruel…I’m sorry if you can’t change…I don’t think I wanna be by your side ever again.” You saw her panting hard trying to take all this in. She couldn’t believe you loved her and she never noticed. She gritted her teeth about to attack you but she hesitated. Her love for you was too much to hurt you. She just mumbled “Get out! Get out!” You were stunned as she told you get out. You nod as you left. The woman you loved pushed you away you know she didn’t mean it but you needed to do what you said…you knew it was the right thing to do.

You were nearby where Azula’s coronation was being held you saw how horrible she looked. Her hair cut uneven and her makeup smeared a little. You couldn’t help feel guilty about you making her crazy. You then saw the fight with Zuko and Katara with Azula. You saw Azula getting defeated by Katara as you saw her balling as blue fire came out of her mouth. You couldn’t hold back anymore you ran fast to Azula as Zuko and Katara watched you. You hugged her. “Azula please…” you whispered into her ear as you felt her body all hot as she was surprised you were here.

“[N-name]…Please [Name] don’t leave me! I’ll change! I’ll change for you! I love you too! Please just don’t leave my side! I’m sorry” She said between sobs as she just cried harder and clung on to your clothing tight. She didn’t want you to let go. “I promise Azula I won’t leave you again. I’ll be there to help you.” You whisper as cupped the back of her head to make her let it all out. Azula then spoke into your shoulder. “I’ll be good. I have you. I love you [Name].” She said still sobbing. You pulled away for her a little still close as you cup her cheek. “I knew you would turn to be good. I love you too.”

and they lived happily ever after and Azula got her redemption and didn’t go to an insane asylum bc reader was there for her🤭

I hope you enjoyed this one. sorry making this a bit angsty😭 you also have a great day!! <33

[keruimi]

In that One Moment

Pairings: Kuroo Tetsurou x Reader x Yaku Morisuke

Warnings: Hanahaki Disease, angst, mention of death. Happy ending

Note: Not proofread as always. I don't even know if I give justice to this but hope you all enjoy it!

_____________________________

Hanahaki Disease, is an illness that makes you aware of your feelings. A curse that our world gave to us.

It can only be solved in two ways, surgery that can remove one's love or death.

That's it

Yet, my feelings for the rooster captain of the Nekoma Volleyball team keeps coming back even after removing him from my memory.

Every time I feel lost on who he is to my life, he is always the first one I fell in love with.

It was a repetitive memory in my life.

I want to keep living, to keep going. But no matter what I choose, I will always go through the cycle of hesitation whether to lose the memories we both have.

Just for the sake of being alive.

But those hard decision-making always end up in one ending.

And me falling in love all over again.

Now because of this one sided love, I am sitting in the familiar room within the hospital walls.

A room where I keep returning to.

A room that made me lose complete control of who I am.

Like a lunatic that keeps trying to hold on to the last bit of their sanity.

Its tiring. Its terrifying.

That I always have to face death when I'm falling in love with him.

Can the world just let me breathe for even at least a minute?

Can the world let me love a different man that would love me the same way I did?

Why does my heart keep returning to one man? Why are my eyes always looking for him?

I felt my chest tighten before I coughed up the flowers that started to bloom in my chest.

I'm scared. But I already reached my limit.

I don't want to suffer for the same reasons all over again.

I gasped when I felt like I was suffocating.

I don't know how long I can make it.

I once dreamed of finishing my education with my childhood friends.

If I just have chosen to be satisfied with the friendship we both have, I wouldn't end up in this situation.

But I didn't

At times like this, I wish that I would just fall in love with him.

Yaku Morisuke

A man who chose to love me no matter how much I keep choosing Kuroo over him.

Even being aware of that love being unrequited.

"I will not beg you to love me. But please, let me love you freely"

Yet right now, he seems to forget the words he used to tell me before.

"Before, I thought I could let you go because we can't go against our hearts. But this is the ending I don't want to go through" he admitted to me as he stood on the side of my bed.

Avoid holding eye contact with someone you love who is fighting between life and death.

It was a memory I don't want to engrave on him.

That's why I never want him to visit.

But I really need someone with me.

Someone I can open myself to even if it's hard to express it with my words when my chest seems to tighten more.

"I am ready to be your rebound. I am ready to be your second choice." He declared that made me raise my hand to stop him from speaking further.

Even if I can't hold on longer.

I don't want him to speak himself the words that can hurt him.

Yet he didn't stop there.

"Why do you love him?" It was a question. A question that made him lose his composure.

A question I have been asking my mind for so long.

Yet it will always end up in one answer.

Do I need a reason to?

I let down my hand as I felt myself getting weaker as seconds passed by.

I already thought of his words before. Use him so I can continue living.

Because I know it would be less painful. He would love me, better and better. Give me everything I need.

And I am tempted by his offer. Since I once thought that I would learn to love him too.

Yet because of this disease, I can't completely lie to myself.

Because of it, I made it less painful for Yaku.

"Please...just leave" I whispered weakly before I coughed out another flower.

A sign that the roots of this disease have completely taken over my body system.

I felt a warm hand hold my cold ones that made me focus my attention on the man.

Before he chose to kneel before me.

"Y/n, I'm really in love with you" he cried out as tears finally escaped on his eyes as I felt his grip on my hand.

What did I ever do to deserve this?

"Even though it hurts."

Times when I wonder why didn't he just leave me?

Why did he choose to keep loving me?

I felt the surroundings turned colder than before as I started to seek for his warmth.

"I am ready to be your second choice. I'm ready to be used. As long as you stay in this world" he whispered as he put my hand closer to his lips as he used both of his hands to warm that one hand.

"Even if it would hurt"

A tear finally left my eyes as I squeezed his hands.

I can't speak.

I can't manage to stay because I don't want him to suffer the same experience I did.

I want him to choose a woman who really deserves him.

I don't want you to lower yourself before me. I don't want you to beg me to stay.

I don't want you to keep loving me.

Those are the words I want to say so badly.

I don't deserve a man like Yaku Morisuke.

I closed my eyes as I slowly took deep breaths to control my breathing.

I really don't deserve him.

On that one moment, I wanted to change my mind.

Just for him

"I've heard..." The familiar sight of the friend I have ever since I was a kid, is really standing in the same room with me.

Like a scene where the Libero wanted me to finally confess my feelings.

In hopes that the man can reciprocate it.

"Why didn't you tell me? That is the common question you would hear in times like this." He stated as he crossed his arms on his chest while looking outside the window.

"I didn't know my best friend was dying because she fell in love with me" he muttered as I leaned on the head board before I closed my eyes.

"A best friend who chose to forget me. The one who was the reason why I question myself for it" he continued as I slowly opened my eyes from his words.

It's a reaction I expected from him. Because a friend forgetting all of your memories with them, without knowing the reason why.

Can really hurt someone deeply.

"Did you bring another blanket?" I questioned him that made him approach me, changing the topic for a minute.

And like a habit, he draped it on my shoulders that recreates a feeling of embrace.

I didn't know how I badly wanted that warmth.

"Sooner or later, you would know the reason too" I whispered, wishing for him to hear me when he put the blanket on me.

His hands stop in the air as I feel his eyes turn glossy.

"You can't love me Kuroo. We both know that one painful fact."

I clutch the blanket closer to my body as Kenma stood in the corner, watching us exchange words.

"I don't want you to force yourself on loving me" I let out followed by deep breaths before I started coughing again.

"I want you to love me, for the sake of really loving me the same way I did. Not for the sake of me living" I looked up to him as my hands started to tremble.

"I don't want you to love me against your will" I whispered as a tear fell in his eyes that made mine escape too.

"So I exchange our memories. That keeps coming back whether I fell in love with you all over again"

"Other than death, New memories is the only solution, isn't it?" He finally managed to speak as a small laugh left my lips.

"This is the fourth time I'll forget you Kuroo if I choose that path again"

"Better than dying" he immediately stated. "You have been thinking of my feelings for all these years. This time, think of yours too."

"It would hurt, that's true. But it's less painful" a sob left my lips before Kuroo embraced my cold body which Kenma followed along.

The last time where I will have the memory of our friendship.

Before we become strangers once again.

And after that moment, I completely lost all my memories of Kuroo Tetsurou.

He became the unknown man who has a blurry figure in my memories with Kenma.

A man I thought I held no importance to my life and just old friends.

As the years passed, I slowly fell in love with Yaku Morisuke who is the first man I knew that I met after the surgery.

Along with the love emotion was the repetitive memory of him like it doesn't want to be forgotten.

I opened up that to my lover who chose to hide my diary from me until the right time comes.

A man he told me was my first love.

Confusion started in my mind that time, making me think if my lover was joking with me.

But I didn't ask anymore questions until I completely forgot about it.

"Earth to Y/n" I heard my husband's playful voice who snap his fingers at me while his arms are at each side of my body who is sitting at the kitchen counter.

"What are you thinking so deeply about?" He asks me as I look down at him before shaking my head with a small smile.

"I'm just thinking if I'm on good terms with your captain who you told me that I'm not ready to meet yet during our highschool days." I honestly told him that made him nuzzle his head on my neck as one of his hands stayed on my waist.

"I did that for the old you, my love. Anyways, you'll meet him later in the reunion. And I promise you, he will welcome you"

His words ease my chest as I lean my head on top of his head.

The day before, me and my husband spent the night remembering the memories I chose to forget.

Because of Love

And the man that was once a blurry figure in my memories finally stood in front of me.

With unknown emotions swirled in his eyes.

"Hello, I'm Yaku Y/n. Nice to finally meet you"

"Kuroo Tetsurou. At your service"

A feeling stirred in my chest when I took a hold of his hand.

It was not love like what my husband told me I felt about his captain. It was the feeling of familiarity when I held him.

He is indeed the forgotten person in my memories.

And I'm willing to try again.

But from a different perspective

[hina-hina]

i LOVED könig friends to lovers. maybe ghost w friends to lovers? ❤️❤️❤️

Hello friend!! Of course I can do that one for you! Thank you for requesting, I hope you enjoy!! (○｀ 3′○)

This came out as more of a childhood friend trope because I got a good idea for it (o′┏▽┓｀o)

This fic has a good amount about Ghost's backstory, nothing too in depth but if you don't know what I'm talking about, a good glance over his Fandom page should be find (trigger warning for content within).

This is eventually a rewrite of Ghost's backstory but with you as his childhood friend/partner. Some details have been changed and is no way accurate to his actual backstory.

→ COD Masterlist

|| Ghost Having a Friends to Lovers Trope With Reader ||

Tags: Friends to Lovers Trope, Fluff, Hurt!Ghost, Comfort, Childhood Friends, Getting Together, Pre-Relationship, Protective Ghost,

Warnings: Talks of Ghost's backstory (child abuse, neglect, and murder), heavy angst at some parts, mentions of torture and injuries (non graphic)

Gender-Neutral!Reader // Romantic

So, we all know how awful Ghost's childhood is

It wasn't really the place where friends were easily made

So I imagine for this trope to work, it has to be a forced proximity situation

So, like you were a neighbor kid or perhaps like a teacher assigned tutor for him

Nevertheless, despite Ghost having trouble getting close to anyone, you were always there and eventually the two of you fell into an easy friendship

If your more talkative, he would let you take the lead in conversations, happy to just listen and insert little comments here and there

If your quiet like him, the two of you are content to just sit in silence with each other

The two of you also had this kinda quick-witted banter with each other, even if your more on the quiet side

As the two of you got closer, he tried harder to keep his home life away from you

Partly because he didn't want to burden you and partly because he didn't want to soil his "happy place" with what happens at his house

However you do eventually find out one day when he comes to you after he gained a pretty bad bite from a snake because he needs help cleaning it

The night is spent quietly sitting in your bathroom floor as you clean his wounds, him not even flinching when the peroxide touches the bite

You, very gently as to not spook him, wrap him up in your arms and tell him that you will always be there for him no matter what

He says nothing, carefully returning the hug

The two of you get older and when he tells you that he wants to go into the military, you respect that decision despite how much it scares you

You support him as he reconnects with his brother and gets him clean, you even go to his wedding as Simon's "date"

Your sure he means it in a platonic way

He does not

Eventually the two of you have some sort of disagreement (Because of course I have to add drama to these)

Unfortunately, this argument happens right before he leaves to go on a mission to take down the Zaragoza Drug Cartel

To take down Manuel Roba

He had already told you he was going on a short mission in Iran before he had been attached to the American team and had no time to inform you of the sudden change in plans

Therefore, all you had left of him when he went MIA was a unanswered Voicemail from the day he left on the mission

You spent many nights listening to this voicemail, wrapping yourself up in the hoodies he left behind, crying for him because you didn't know if he was even still alive

The military would barely tell Simon's family anything and you were told even less, left to think he had just died somewhere they couldn't retrieve his body and the last conversation you had was a petty argument

Months pass and eventually you move farther away from your childhood town in Manchester, not really keeping in contact with Simon's family beyond short phone calls

You get a phone call from Simon's brother one day, him claiming that Simon was found on the border of Texas, injured but alive

You go to meet him at the hospital and at first he tries to hide his face from you

After you urging, he shows you that he now has many facial scars, including a Glasgow Smile, and he was afraid of what you would think of them

It's a rare show of vulnerability, one that causes you to press a soft kiss to his lips and exclaim to him that you don't care what he looks like, just that your happy he is home

Simon is put on leave from active duty to heal his injuries and he lives with you during this time

He also develops a bad temper, usually causing it to come out whenever you push him to talk about what happened

This causes him to shout and run off, often being gone for many hours at a time

The two of you never really put a name to what you are but it's obviously romantic

He would return home after a while, apologizing profusely

He explains to you how terrified he is of becoming his father and than he would never forgive himself if he laid a hand on you

These nights usually ended up with him crying silently and allowing you to hold him, you telling him that he isn't anything like his father

He then meets up with two of the teammates he had from the Roba mission, realizing they have been brainwashed by Roba

He gets a frantic call from his brother, and goes there to see that his family had been killed by Washington.

He kills Washington before realizing Sparks is not there, quickly calling you

He quickly drives to your apartment, see that it has been broken into

He fears your already dead, but instead finds you severely injured

He cries over your body, trying desperately to get you to wake up

He holds your body as the ambulance arrives, he leaves you in the hospital after leaving again to find Sparks and kill him

He leaves to Mexico, eventually killing him and gaining all of his Intel causing him to be recruited into the 141

He returns home to leave that you had been in critical condition but pulled through, not awake and lucid and asking for him

He enters your room, slowly, not yet approaching your bed

Despite this you smile when you see him, asking him if he is hurt

The breaks him, he crouches by your bedside and grabs your hand:

"Love, I thought you were dead and you're asking me if I am ok? You're outta your damn mind..."

He tells you what happened to his family, that you are in danger by just being associated with him and that you should get out while you still can

You smile, placing a hand on his masked cheek before taking it off

You see tears lingering on his waterline, gently brushing them away with the pad of your thumb

You tell him that you are with him through everything and there is no way your walking away now

He promises to make sure nothing ever happens to you

You help him organize the funeral, hold his hand while he says goodbye to his family

The two of you move to London to be closer to the Task Force's base, him urging you to keep his name a secret from those that you talk with

He looks forward to coming home to you, hiding a ring in his bedside table and saving it for the right moment

Thank you for reading!! ⇣Taglist⇣ @scarlettproof @unabashednightmarepizza @kk00789 @cl0udii-m00n @polar2oidsworld @meepsters-world @uwu-i-purple-you

[aziraphales-library]

Do you have any ineffable husbands human aus where they're angsty with a happy ending?

Here are some angst with a happy ending human aus...

Upon This Rock by Eowyn1846 (M)

Crowley and Aziraphale meet as teenagers participating in a youth curling league. Years after losing touch when Crowley's family moves away, the two former friends are reunited at a major tournament...as competitors on two very cut-throat teams, whose captains seem willing to win at any cost, even to the detriment of the sport.

What the World Gives by Adzeisval (T)

Being a teenager is hard Aziraphale Fell feels out of place among his peers and has difficulties making friends. He is terrified that if his parents realize he is gay they will kick him out. Anthony Crowley is a new student hoping to fit in and hoping his medical issues don't make themselves known. Sometimes the world can be harsh, but sometimes one lucks out and has someone by their side.

Our Lost Time by Izabella95 & UnproblematicMe (E)

Aziraphale Crowley awakes in the hospital after an almost fatal accident. But he is lucky and gets away alive and without permanent injuries. The close call sets things into perspective and he wants to fix his strained marriage. His husband, Anthony Crowley - who simply goes by "Crowley" - takes good care of Aziraphale after the accident, but there seems to be an invisible barrier between the spouses. Can Aziraphale save his relationship? What secrets does Crowley keep?

Heaven (Is a Place on Earth) by soft_october (M)

“I’m just sneaking a break from the festivities, as it were.” Crowley twists his hand in a gesture meant to sum up the circumstances which led him here. “I haven’t taken up residency in the back of a bookshop in the middle of paradise.” “Ah, well, we clearly disagree over what, precisely, paradise might mean.” Aziraphale's eyes are sharp, and through that initial mask of annoyance, a small smile is curling. Crowley came to Lower Tadfield, the UKs version of San Junipero, to have a good time, try out the software, step out of his old and failing body into the magic of a virtual world with no consequences. At least that's what he had planned, until one night he stumbles into a bookshop and meets a buttoned up, blue eyed wonder with pale curls and a perfect smile.

A streetcar named desire by elf_on_the_shelf (E)

Crowley is trying his absolute best - even if that ain't all that grand - to please Morgan & Partners in his role as Chief Architect on their new development. Too bad that this development in particular is on the very same site that the City Council wants to build a light rail network on and, even though Crowley hates everyone involved, can he hate the angelic person who is in charge of the whole project?

The Ghost of Husbands Past by A_N_D (E)

Az always knew that he’d be thrown out the moment his father found out he was gay. He hadn’t expected to be declared dead though - or for his husband to believe it! But their marriage had been a foolish teenage impulse (not to mention invalid in America), so when Az moved to a small town far upstate New York to start his new life, he moved alone. The kindest thing he could do was let Crowley mourn and move on, not be shackled for life to a now disabled partner. Tony Crowley never recovered from losing his best friend, his childhood sweetheart, his better half. He’d been drifting ever since; no plans, no hope, no money - and now, just before Thanksgiving, no job either. Given the stark choice of freezing to death or accepting his sister’s invitation to join her upstate, Tony reluctantly lives out the Hallmark cliche of Recently Unemployed Person Moves to Small Town for Christmas. It’s a time of hope, love, and family. It’s time for Az and Tony to find each other again.

- Mod D

[justkennadi]

ocean boy.

notes: something a little different. i got inspired by this one fic abt armin seeing an old friend after everything happened so here i am. not proofread😭

also takes place in the actual aot world a year after the rumbling.

context: old childhood friend armin x fem reader (reader is implied to be dark skinned)

you used to be part of the Scouts or Survey corps or whatever a few years ago.

When you look around your new home you think back to those days. Once Eren was captured by Bertholt and Reiner you took it upon yourself to just abandon the team. It became too much. You found a way down and off the wall and took off. So much was going on you knew you were crazy for joining in the first place.

And from what you’ve seen and heard it only got worse.

You now reside in what used to be the Stohess district. The new members of the Garrison, plus some of the old ones who survived, was the only current authority around. It’s been a year since the scary events of the rumbling. When the news came back of the aftermath of the rumbling you couldn’t help but have a panic attack. Imagining all those innocent people, children and pets, getting crushed alive? They say 80% of people died.

And yet here you were. One of the lucky 20% of people.

Did you think you deserved it? No. Not after possibly leaving your friends worried sick. They probably thought you fell off the wall and died or got crushed under the armored titans feet during the fight.

You felt bad for not announcing your departure especially during a moment like that. But what else could you have done? Everyone was so caught up on being this brave warrior willing to give up their lives…

That wasn’t you and it never was.

You only joined the Scouts because they provided food and shelter for refugees back when wall maria was breached. You, Armin, Eren and Mikasa were too young at first but then finally you guys were 12 and able to sign up. At first you didnt really want to. It seemed scary. Even the other options like the Military police or the garrison seemed a bit much.

In the end no one forced you to. Aside from the promised food and proper shelter you only joined for one person….

Armin.

From the day you moved to Shiganshina to when you met Armin you were picked on for looking “different”. You noticed even at a young age you were different and so you were lonely. People were weary of you. But that was until you met Armin. He was sitting under a tree reading a book and you hesitatingly approached him hoping for a new possible friendship.

He was startled at first when you tapped his shoulder but then calmed down. He quietly observed you but you quickly mistakenly took it as him being like everyone else when he was just curious. As you turned to leave he grabbed you hand and told you that you were beautiful. More than anything he’s read about the outside world.

Little did he know that’s exactly where you were from. However you never told him that.

Armin told you about his secret book and everything he saw in it. You knew about most of the stuff already but to see him so excited brought a smile to your face. Especially when he talked about the ocean. He loved the ocean so much when you told your grandma about him you called him “Ocean boy”. It wasn’t just because he loved the ocean though but also because his eyes were as blue and deep as the ocean itself.

You really liked his eyes. Back at home no one had blue eyes.

He was also smart and kind hearted and not like most boys. You didn’t know why you liked being around him so much but you did.

You were happy someone was treating you like you belonged and even more happy his friends were the same. He introduced you after a few weeks of talking and laughing and being children. It was green eyes boy and a black haired girl. Eren,the boy with green eyes, seemed stand off ish at first but he was still nice to you and Mikasa,the girl, was basically your new bestie. When Armin was busy it was you and Mikasa either playing with each others hair or dolls.

Everything was great until that one horrible day.

The day Maria fell.

It was so so scary. Your Grandma brought you inside the walls to be save. There were some eldians back where you lived sneaking in somehow and brought titans with them. You assumed they swam?

Your parents went missing as the town went into a panic at seeing a real titan so your Grandma moved you into Shiganshina to escape.

But she didn’t survive that day.

You lost her and couldn’t find her in the crowds of screaming people but deep down you knew she was gone. You and Mikasa cried over your losses on the boat while Armin comforted you both and Eren declared to kill all the titans.

Yes, Eren was a fighter. And Armin was a dreamer. And Mikasa was a lover and a strong soul. But who were you? What was your purpose other than following then around?

You never wanted to fight those stupid scary things. You never cared about the theories and the secret truth to titans. You just wanted to hide anyway and pray they all just disappeared or leaves you guys alone for once.

Then Eren was a titan too. You felt like life wasn’t real for years.

There was real trauma you developed from this all. When you quit the scouts you wanted to be sure no one found you so you ran to Wall sina and lived in the underground under the Stohess district working at all bar.

You made just enough working there and occasionally stealing and reselling some things do you don’t have to turn to prostitution. You lived in a shitty tiny home with 4 other random people so you guys could split rent and go about your days. Sometimes you snuck out to get fresh air and sunlight.

Days turned into months and months into years. You were now a young woman wondering what was happening on the outside. You got most of your news from word of mouth but also an occidental rare newspaper. That’s how you got updates on the scouts and marley and the rumbling…

You learned after everything was over that Eren and his brother started the whole thing and Armin was the one to finally end Eren. Things slowly went back to as normal as it could be.

Everyone had to move about ground to try and rebuild life. For now rent and food was free so you were trying to enjoy that but you couldn’t shake the depression from knowing 80% of the world was now flat and dead. Why were you here? You’re a coward, a loser.

Armin saved the world from extinction and always had these big crazy dreams and was highly intelligent. What would he think of you now?

As the town attempted to rebuild for another day and clean up a Garrison member announces that a member of the Scouts is coming by the speak to a couple residents and that everyone needs to get inside immediately and be quiet. Simple protocol for when one of the special group people like that stop by.

You go into your new tiny home where you live alone. The town was quiet as everyone was indoors. You just sit drinking tea in your kitchen waiting for the day to pass but then you hear. .. a knock?

But you were being quiet! You leave the kitchen preparing to deal with a Garison member. You collect yourself as you open the door…

When the door is opened you did not expect to see what you saw in front of you…

“…..Armin?”

Oddly enough, you feel more fear than surprise.

In front of you was a boy who slightly towered you. No, a man who slightly towards you. A blonde, blue eyed, softer but stern looking man. He wore a white button down and brown pants. Clothes only higher ups could afford now.

He stared.

And stared.

Like he’s holding his breath, like he’s re living something crazy and couldn’t believe his eyes. And then finally,

“Y/n.”

You wondered why he was here. How he was here. This..was the Scout coming to town?

“How..what..?” Is all you can say. You then notice your appearance isn’t too clean.

You wear a plain green dress that’s probably a couple decades old and your hair hasn’t been brushed properly in weeks.

“………May..i come in?” The man softly asked snapping you out of your embarrassment. Of course you move out the way as he slowly steps inside.

“Armin….” You begin to say. But then realize, what CAN you say? Why you left? Did you miss him?

He looks around like he’s studying the place.

The house was obviously abandoned during the height of everything. You assumed it belonged to an older couple just by how it was decorated. Over the past year you add bits of your own touch but it still looked like a grandparents home.

You watched as your childhood crush friend roamed your dining room and living room and made his was into your kitchen. You started to wonder why he was really here.

He stops in front of your unfinished tea cup.

“This is the same tea captain Levi drinks..” He says softly.

“Oh, yeah well it’s all they have now.”

He stares into the cup a bit longer. Almost like he was deeply thinking of something.

“Do you want to sit somewhere?” You asked but he doesn’t move except his eyes into yours.

They’re still small pools of the ocean or the endless sky. The same ocean and skies you found yourself lost in often as children.

Armin sighed and looked away.

“It’s been years. Years since you…i don’t even know anymore? Everyone thought you….”

“Died?” You finished. “I’m sorry. I can explain everything if that’s why you’re here…”

He doesn’t say anything so you take that as a yes.

“I just……couldn’t do it anymore. I was never a Scout or a solider or any of that. I just didn’t want you guys to leave me. I had no one left, not even my grandmother. Everything was getting to me and everyday was a nightmare so I had to leave.”

You said all that as Armin leaned against the counter on the opposite side and crossed his arms looking at ground and listened.

“What else was i going to do? I didn’t have a dream like you or the drive like Eren… I just wasn’t cut out for it. But i’ve been here the whole time, Min. Living among the last bit of survivors.”

“We missed you. Mikasa was a mess.” Armin says coldly.

You felt horrible. Tears well up in your eyes as you imagine Mikasa depressed over your disappearance.

“Armin-”

“And Eren was only just then getting worse. We had a search party for you after we got Eren back. But you were no where to found. We even had a makeshift funeral…Do you think no one else was scared?!”

Armin is looking at you now staring you down making you feel small.

“I was the weakest on the team. Intelligence can only take you so fucking far, y/n! Do you know i died? I got burnt alive and Levi chose me over Erwin to be revived! Why?? Everyday i have to live with that. Everyone was going through a hell of their own so what makes yours so special?!”

He was looking into your eyes now and turning an angry shade of red.

You shivered.

You had nothing to say. You felt like a failure already for years and this only confirms it.

“What do you have to say, y/n? Why did you leave us, why did you leave…me?”

“I’m sorry. I just couldn’t anymore.”

“Why didnt you tell us how you felt? Why did you just leave?”

“I thought you guys would call me a coward.”

He slowly walks towards you and puts his hands on your shoulders. It’s been so long since anyone has touched you let alone your old friend.

“I don’t think you’re a coward.”

“But you said-“

“I think you were like anyone else and was scared. And we’ve all done things to be ashamed of and that, was probably the least worse thing out of all of us. You just left. Eren caused the rumbling. Killed innocents. We all have. I have.”

You look into his eyes with horror as you hear him say he’s killed people. When this whole thing started he was the sweetest boy who couldn’t even hurt a fly. Eren you can imagine maybe but Armin?

“I’ve killed so many people. And i have to live with that also the rest of my life. Everyone does. All you did was leave.”

“My god…” You were in shock. What really went down all those years of you being gone?

“I missed you dearly. It ate me up alive when we thought you were gone. I had so much i wanted to tell you.”

“Like what?”

He looked away. Then he looks back at you and hold your face with both hands, hands now nearly the size of your face.

“I love you.”

Your entire heart dropped to your stomach. Maybe even your fucking ass. Did the boy you had a crush on since you were 9 really just say he loved you? Did he “love” you or did he love you? Your eyes just widened but you said nothing.

“You were so kind to me. By my side even when Mikasa and Eren wasn’t. I love your heart. Your mind. You. I loved you and i wanted to tell you but there was never a good time it seemed. And then you…. disappeared.”

“Armin-“

“Shhh.” He interrupted. “And when i heard you were one of the remaining residents here i just had to come. No way she’s still alive right? No way this is the one and only y/n i was head over heels for right?”

You lift your hands to gently hold Armjns wrists as you looked into his tired eyes. God you missed his eyes.

After a small moment he slowly leans in and kisses you. His lips were dry but passionate. Like you were gone his last kiss ever. You sighed into the kiss as you wrapped your arms around his neck and he lowered his hands to your sides.

The kiss was half a minute long but felt like eternity for you. When he pulled away he hugged you tightly. You still didn’t know what was happening but you were happy. Somehow happy. Even after all this.

“I’m so glad you’re alive. You’re all i have left next to Mikasa.” Armin says into your shoulder.

“I guess the ocean isn’t on that list anymore?”

“No.”

You knew a bit of history from when you went to primary school. You knew Eldia was an island isolated from everyone else and they were supposedly “devils” but you suspected otherwise. You knew marley and eldia had issues and when you moved to eldia and heard this boy speak about the “outside world” and the ocean you knew it was only a matter of time before he learned the truth. Before they all did, at least the naive innocent ones like him.

He pulled away.

“I want you to tell me everything. The truth. I want to know where you are from, what you’ve been doing here…”

You led Armin to a chair by your small dining table and motioned for him to sit. Once sat you started.

“As you probably know know the titans specifically go after you guys. Eldians. So some Eldians were somehow sneaking to where i lived, across the ocean, and somehow titans followed. Confusing but people in my town started to panic. I lost my parents and my grandma was all i had left. She had this crazy idea to move inside the wall where we’d truly be safe. So after a couple week long boat ride and lots of carriage rides we ended up in Shiganshina.” You sighed.

“I lived in the outside world.”

Armin just stared.

“I didn’t say anything because i already stood out so much. At least here i did. Back where i lived everyone looked like me. Dark. And hearing you so interested in the world outside the walls i didn’t want to disappoint you. There isn’t much other than enemies for you guys.”

“Well…”

“Are you upset?”

“I don’t know how to feel honestly. Just a question, what did you guys have to be afraid of if the titans just wanted to eat us?”

“I don’t know that one honestly. I never saw one eat anyone until we got over here. But living so close to those things was scary enough…I’ve always hated titans.”

“You and me both.”

“But i hear the curse is over now?”

“Well, yes. Ymir’s curse has been lifted so…the titans are finally gone. But at what cost?”

Armin looks worn and empty. Completely different from what you’ve seen in the past.

“And i also heard you’re..a commander? What’s that about?”

“Hange sacrificed her self. I was handed down the responsibility of being her replacement.”

“Oh no…I loved her…” You were truly heartbroken at this. Oddly enough she loved titans. Found them fascinating.

“We all did..” Armin sighed. “I’ve been trying to make peace with everyone around us. Especially since we no longer pose a threat.”

“Well, i’m proud of you. You’ve always tried to search for the best answer to things around you.”

“Yes, and what about you? What have you been doing the whole time?”

You looked away, thinking back on the past few years.

“Well, i’ve been living in the underground working at a bar. I shared a place with a couple of people to pay the rent and after all this rumbling drama they moved us up here to rebuild and i’ve been here. Uneventful really.”

“The underground huh…”

“Yeah, nothing special. Wasn’t too fun but i’d rather that than facing titans and the threat of being eaten everyday.”

“I see..” Armin crossed his arms. “So now that we’re all caught up, where do go from here?”

You walked to the window by the front door and looked out at the deserted street in front of you. You thought a moment about your answer.

There’s something you always wanted to do with him…

“You wanna…go see the ocean with me?”

You looked back at him who stayed seated at the table. He looked ahead with his arms resting on the table now and with a tear running down the side of his face.

He nodded.

On the way there Armin joked about how going to see the ocean is what seemed to have caused this mess to begin with.

Once there, you two took your shoes and socks off and roll up your pants and go to sit by the shore. Armin sits and you followed. It’s evening now. The sun was setting. It was truly beautiful.

All you two could do we stare into the distance in silence. Sharing this bittersweet moment. Neither of you knew what the future held or if a future was even possible but now you guys had each other and that’s all that mattered.

Now it was you and him.

You and your ocean boy.

- Sooo i wrote this over the past 2 days… i might make a second part but tbh school is starting up again soon so i don’t know where we go from here. If this does well i might even make it a series.

[marvelstars]

X-MEN 97 EP 10 REVIEW

Loved this episode, as Beau said this felt healing and it didn´t dissapoint. That said I agree the series peaked on Ep 5 but for me this doesnt mean this was a bad episode at all.

Highlights for me:

Rogue beating Bastion into a pulp over Remy´s memory "remember it"

Scott and Morph being there for Logan.

Nightcrawler praying with Charles and Magneto.

Cable oppening to Jean and Scott about his childhood and their farewell.

Storm simply laughing at Phoenix appareance, just like her sister to save them all at the nick of time from the prime sentinels.

Morph making fun of Sinister

Charles remembering he is supposed to have a degree on psycology and having a therapy session with Magnus instead of leaving him in a coma, not gonna lie, this always pissed me off in the original FA, him having regrets post fact and remembering Magneto only made me feel more mad at him, so seeing him this way helped me remember why I liked his character, especially considering what has been done to him in current comics.

The first people Magneto remembers are Rogue, who is right there on Asteroid M and his children Lorna, Pietro and Wanda as well as his parents.They help him center himself in his humanity, just wish this series tackled Magda and Anya as well. Talking openly about his sense of isolation over not having an actual family and fully feeling himself part of the X-men now was great, I don´t think even in comics this has been tackled with quite the same intensity.

I personally don´t think Magneto at this point or Rogue see each other in a romantic sense, Rogue more than Magneto´s lover this season, has been more like an honest friend who could understand where he was coming from but also tell him when he was being a jerk so even if they tackle AoA, I don´t see them being end game, their relationship is more like an AU but this doesn´t mean they don´t trust or appreciate the other pov.

Just "Magneto is alive" moment.

Cyclops bad ass leadership moment in which he hoped to understand and help Bastion, supported by Storm and X-men, following the logic of the dream. Bastion reaching out to them.

Just all the cameos. Captain America, Iron Man, Peter, MJ, Cloak, Dagger, Psylocke, Omega Red to name a few, I just missed another cameo by Doctor Doom

This Ep effectively closed up previous plot points and showed what to expect of season two

Gambit will come back as death but I am almost sure this won´t last long. My guess is that Storm, Logan and Morph were selected by Apocalypse to be his current horsemen.

This kind of fun and expectative is something that has been missing for a long time in comics and I am very happy to see XM 97 feels like a fresh take of old stories.

This looks as well as if S2 is tackling different X-men teams, one in the future, another in the present and another in the past. My guess is that it was Apocalypse the one who used time manipulation to take them to different spaces in time.

That comment by Apocalypse "My children, so much death" made me remember current comics Apocalypse, so I expect him to gain new nuances in the series, just like Bastion did.

[bbygirl-aemond]

How Viserys Failed Rhaenyra

Hi everyone! A while back, I made a post here pointing out the irony of how Viserys neglected his children by Alicent when he probably would've really liked them if he'd made an effort to know them. It got reposted to Facebook and Reddit and a lot of people were disagreeing with it because they thought it was too anti-Team Black. So let me be clear that just because I say Viserys mistreated Alicent and her children doesn't mean I'm anti-Team Black, because I think he mistreated Aemma and Rhaenyra just as much. I talked about Alicent and Aemma more in a post here, but I haven't written about Rhaenyra yet. So let's get into that, because I've been wanting to for a while!

In this post, I'm going to address four ways that Viserys failed Rhaenyra: neglecting her in her childhood because she wasn't a boy; pushing her mother into the pregnancy that killed her and then leaving Rhaenyra alone in her grief; grooming and marrying her best friend; and finally refusing to support her as his heir even after naming her such.

Part One: Rhaenyra's Childhood

Now, in the books, the reason Rhaenyra was called "the Realm's Delight" was because Viserys and Aemma struggled to have any children at all and were reportedly very happy and loving when she was born. I do want to acknowledge this. But as several years passed and Aemma was unable to have any more children, Viserys became less doting and more obsessed with a male heir.

In the first episode of the series, a young Rhaenyra tells Alicent that as long as she can remember, a son is the only thing Viserys has ever wanted. This would understandably be difficult for her to reckon with: her loving father becoming more distant and more obsessed with replacing her. It would bring up feelings of abandonment and self-esteem issues, to watch her father try so desperately for another child that he neglects his relationship with her in the process. We're meant to understand in the series that though they might have been close when Rhaenyra was very young, by the time she's around 14 they've become fairly estranged.

Part Two: Aemma

Rhaenyra's estrangement with Viserys clearly doesn't translate over to Aemma. She's shown being quite considerate of her mother even when no one else is (worrying for her comfort when her maids only care about the baby's comfort). Aemma was the one source of unconditional love that Rhaenyra had.

Viserys knows just how difficult and dangerous it is for Aemma to go through pregnancy. He's seen her miscarry and come close to death many times at this point (this is canon). Aemma even admits that she's been pressured by Viserys into getting pregnant, implying she wouldn't choose this for herself. And still Viserys pushes pregnancy after pregnancy on her, hoping for a son, until it kills her. His desire for a son takes Rhaenyra's mother away from her.

And it's awful to poor Rhaenyra, because now she blames herself for her mother's death. What was so wrong with her, that Viserys had to do this? What about her wasn't enough for him? If she'd only been born a boy, then her mother would still be alive. These are all devastating thoughts for a grieving young girl to be dealing with. And it's Viserys's fault that she is.

Viserys doesn't even do Rhaenyra the honor of letting her grieve in peace. He prioritizes his own emotions over his daughter's. He's so caught up in his own grief that Rhaenyra is forced to step up and light her own mother's pyre. That was Viserys's job. As a father, it was his responsibility to do that and spare her the agony of having to give the order. And he's too weak, and too selfish, to do this one thing for her. Rhaenyra has to, at Daemon's prompting, carry out her own mother's funeral. And we see the tears in her eyes, the grief in her face, the betrayal as she looks upon her father and realizes he's forcing her to do this for him.

Part Three: Alicent

In the wake of Aemma's death, Rhaenyra was now motherless. Viserys's guilt was causing him to reach out to her, but a budding relationship cannot replace the closeness she's had with Aemma all her life. The only real other person Rhaenyra is shown to be close to at this time is Alicent. And what does Viserys do?

He marries Alicent. I've linked above why this was so evil of him, but to recap: Alicent is a minor, and a woman, the daughter of a second son with no inherent land or wealth, being manipulated by her father. Viserys marries because he's forced to, but he chooses Alicent in particular because he wants to. Because his lust for her overpowers any consideration for her youth or the fact that she's Rhaenyra's friend. He knows this is wrong, and he knows this will devastate Rhaenyra. This is why he asks Alicent to keep it a secret, knowing that she can't disobey her king. Proving he knows it's wrong and that he knows of the power difference between them.

And he does it anyways. He takes Rhaenyra's best friend, her last remaining close relationship, and he marries her. Alicent is Rhaenyra's stepmother, now; she will birth the sons that jeopardize Rhaenyra's claim. And Alicent is now forced to choose between her children's safety or her friendship with Rhaenyra. It drives an irreparable wedge between them from both ends: Alicent now fears for her children's lives, and Rhaenyra now feels betrayed by her best friend. But they've both been betrayed by Viserys.

Part Four: Rhaenyra's Adulthood

I do want to acknowledge that Viserys does defend Rhaenyra politically three times: first when he names her heir; second when he defends her children after Laena's funeral (at his other children's expense, mind you); and third when he rises from his deathbed to defend her son's claim to Driftmark. I do feel that the first and third of his efforts are commendable. But I don't think they make up for the other ways in which he doesn't help her.

Rhaenyra's upbringing is quite sheltered. She repeatedly demonstrates that she is unaware of the precarious nature of her political position; in her conversation with Daemon after seeing the smallfolk turn on her and in her conversation with Rhaenys where she lords her own exceptionalism over her. We see here that Rhaenys is wiser to the misogyny of Westeros and knows that Rhaenyra will not be an exception to the patriarchy, while Rhaenyra acknowledges that the patriarchy exists but is confident that it will never affect her. This isn't some inherent trait that Rhaenyra has; it is a direct result of how she was raised. It's clear that Viserys did not have a meaningful conversation with her, when he made her heir, about the dangerous position he was putting her in.

In the Great Council of 101 AC, the lords of Westeros all voted between Viserys (the bloodline of the King's second-eldest son) and Rhaenys (the bloodline of the King's eldest son). Law should have dictated that the title pass through the King's eldest sons's bloodline to completion, but because Rhaenys was a woman the lords voted to skip her over and proceed to Baelon's bloodline and Viserys instead. The entire reason Jaehaerys allowed the Council to be called-- allowed Rhaenys's claim to be called into question-- was because he knew it would plunge the Realm into war if she was made heir against the lords' will. Viserys became King because of this. He knows the danger presented by making Rhaenyra heir. And he does not communicate this to her, because he doesn't want to confront it.

When Rhaenyra takes initiative, she proves herself to have qualities fitting of a good leader. Her retrieval of Baelon's egg from Daemon is a perfect example of this. She's able to diffuse the situation, force Daemon to get over being removed as heir, and retrieve the egg like her father wished. I really think things would have become violent between Otto and Daemon if she hadn't intervened and it would have been disastrous.

But Viserys doesn't let Rhaenyra continue to grow into being a leader, to continue to have these experiences where she can stretch her wings. He refuses to give her any meaningful political responsibilities, and keeps her as a cup-bearer, subservient to the members of the Council. She isn't taken seriously as a cup-bearer, as mentioned by Rhaenys and demonstrated during the Daemon incident, so this position isn't really helpful to her.

He also does nothing when she begins to have very obvious bastard children outside of her marriage with Laenor. I've said before and will say again that Rhaenyra was very smart to go outside her marriage, but not so smart to choose a baby daddy that didn't resemble Laenor. She would've been better served with a baby daddy who at least had blond hair and lighter eyes, because even if he'd violated her trust there would have been no physical evidence to support the rumors. It's the physical proof that's damning; the fact that everyone knows what her children are just by looking at him. The Velaryons' support doesn't change the boys' appearances. Even Viserys, the King, is unable to defend Rhaenyra when Aegon points out the physical evidence in the Driftmark episode; he can only change the topic, and you bet your ass that every single person in that room notices this, because it confirms the bastard rumors to be true.

Honestly, I feel like this is all a consequence of Viserys's failure to educate Rhaenyra about how shaky her claim was and how significant of a burden he was placing upon her. This is what we often see of the first person to break a precedent, such as the first female ruler: they're held to unfair standards. And it's most definitely unfair, and misogynistic, but Rhaenyra risks war breaking out by simply existing and really can't afford to destabilize things further by alienating lords who don't want bastards to try to usurp their or their trueborn children's claims.

After the Driftmark episode, the bastard rumors have become enough of a problem that Rhaenyra feels King's Landing is hostile to her, and rightfully so. But when she asks to go away to Dragonstone, Viserys allows it. This is such a big mistake and I can't emphasize it enough. If she'd stayed at King's Landing, Rhaenyra would have continued to be a visible presence in the court and by Viserys's side. If Viserys had let her stay, and had allowed her to begin making decisions and taking on responsibility, it would have helped a lot to cement her claim. She would've already had one foot in the door.

Finally, Viserys should have stepped down once he became quite ill. He spent a long time in significant decline, basically unable to rule anyways. Someone was going to be regent in all but name, and by allowing Rhaenyra to leave Viserys ensured that regent would be Otto. He allowed the Greens to build the foundation of political support and experience ruling that would enable them to crown Aegon-- the foundation that should have been Rhaenyra's.

It would have been incredibly helpful to Rhaenyra to have the public support of the previous King for the first several years of her reign. People wouldn't have been able to turn against her as readily (cough cough Otto cough cough). And again, as years passed and she actually lived and made decisions as Queen, she would've proven to be a decent enough ruler and there would be time for the murmurings of unhappy lords to settle. Viserys could have died having seen Rhaenyra sit on the throne for years.

But Viserys did none of this. And when he died, Rhaenyra was miles away from Dragonstone, with no presence or supporters in King's Landing and no experience with leadership. And the Greens, who had been ruling in all but name for years, which everyone knew, who had been able to make allies of the court without competition for years, were perfectly poised--by none other than Viserys--to take Rhaenyra's throne.

[miniwheat77]

Hiiii, I was VERY happy that you accepted, I will divide it into two parts because there are a lot of words... Now I'm sending the summary of the fic, then I'll send the content, the format is a little strange because I used a translator, my English is still not that good to translate such a large text :|

Summary: It was supposed to be more of an ordinary mission, like hundreds of other previous missions, however, something went wrong and now you and Soap are trapped together on a remote and hostile island, on the verge of death you confess your secrets to each other. , and on the other side his boyfriend König is desperately after information to rescue him. Now you and Soap will be confronted about your stay on the island, you became friends, this ends up generating rumors about you, and a gossip about an alleged betrayal on your part puts König in doubt, even more so after he overhears a certain conversation. between you.

I went through it a little and changed around a little added my ending, hope thats okay. Here it is

“König, I'll be fine, the mission will be quick. I'll be back in your arms in no time big boy, I promise.” You smile, giving him a kiss on the forehead and calming König down, like you always did when you had a mission he wasn't scheduled for. “I know, I don't doubt his competence as a soldier, but I'm worried. If something happens to you far away, I will never forgive myself for not being by your side to protect you.” He looks down at you, those blue eyes worried and a little sad. "Hey, did you forget about our promise?" You see König blush, remembering the day and the moment you both promised to always come back to each other alive. “How could I forget? When you looked so beautiful in that moment, with your red cheeks and messy hair, lying naked on my chest.” He was looking at you with longing eyes and a smile that made you blush. König hugged you from behind, and you could feel the bulge forming in his pants and as much as you hated saying no to him, you only had 10 minutes to meet Sergeant Mactavish in the courtyard. Then you closed your eyes and sighed, regaining the consciousness that was already slipping away from imagining your boyfriend without clothes on. “My love, as much as I want to, I can't be late, Soap must be waiting by now and he knows how they get cranky with delays. You said this, turning around and resting your hand on his chest, lifting your head to meet his pleading puppy dog ​​eyes. He whimpers and places a kiss on your head, reluctant to let go. König accompanies you like a bodyguard to the meeting point in every mission, this one was no different. You found the Sergeant and the Lieutenant in front of the helicopter, the pilot was inside making the last adjustments while Ghost went over the mission, the Sergeant should plant the mines and lure the guards to them and then with a long distance weapon you should execute the target. “Fast and clean. No traces we were ever there.” Those were the Lieutenant's only words. He was stern and serious.

Overall, you got along really well with the team, spending so much time together, so many experiences, it's impossible not to bond. Soap was the youngest after Gaz left the team to join Farah and Alex, so he would always make everyone laugh with his lame jokes. For König it was no different, he was very closed socially and his circle was restricted to those who fought by his side, he lost his younger brother in a car accident during his childhood, Soap helped fill that void but also made him anxious and alert. Soap was fun and endearing, he was also handsome, and even though he knew of your loyalty, König still hated himself for thinking that Soap could easily captivate you and pull you away from him. “Very funny MacTavish, I assigned you to this mission because you are the best at infiltration and ranged shooting. I have other business to take care of at the moment, otherwise I would go alone. Be careful, the mission is simple, but we can never predict what might happen."

After a few more instructions from Ghost, you turned to König, who kissed you on the top of your head and said goodbye with an "I love you." He wanted to be able to kiss you but, in front of his colleagues, you had to maintain your ethics and discipline. You and Soap climbed into the helicopter and the pilot soon took off, taking you over the sea to your missions destination. Just like in a fateful suspense movie, the pilot warned that it was better to fasten your seatbelts because they were going to have to go through a storm, which made you nervous. He hated flying over the sea and even more so in the middle of a storm, Soap was sitting next to your side and you couldn't help but notice his nervousness and in an act to soothe you, he places his hand over yours, giving you a reassuring smile. You smiled and thanked him for the gesture with your eyes, you want to say something else, but the helicopter's propeller frantically spinning wouldn't let him hear you. Suddenly, a strike of lightning hitting the top of the chopper sends it sprialing, everything started to spin and you heard the pilot calling on the radio, “Mayday, mayday, we've been struck by lightning, the propeller has been damaged, we're going down!- Nuketown!” Were the last words you heard before the impact.

—

"Y/N! Y/N! Wake up, please wake up.” Soap's frantic voice brought you out of your unconscious state. You opened your eyes slowly, your head was throbbing. Soap was crouched over you, shaking your shoulders. You notice that you were lying in the sand. Your eyes widened when you saw the helicopter, you were on fire a few minutes ago. You moved and felt a sharp pain in your leg, looking down and noticing a bandage fastened on your leg and the bloody spot on your pants. “What happened? Where are we? Where's the Pilot?” Your mind was a mess. “Hey, calm down. We got hit by lightning. I tried to get the pilot out but in the crash he broke his neck. He didn't survive."

The guilt in Soap's eyes made him appear very distressed. “It wasn't your fault, you tried to save him, that's what matters.” You breathe, making an attempt to console him, you could tell how stressed he was just by looking at him. "You were hit by shrapnel from the helicopter explosion, I made this bandage to stop the bleeding, but you'll need some of the pieces removed and some stitches. The pilot managed to make contact with the base before he crashed, so I guess it shouldn't take long, I just can't tell where we are, but it looks like some kind of island.” He mumbles. “Nuketown?” You say. “What?” Soap's eyes widened. “I heard the pilot say that before we crashed.” Soap's expression was worried and you could assume this wasn't a good place for you to be. "What?" You ask. “We're in Nuketown, we're fucked. They Nuked this island many years ago, at night the island freezes, apart from the fact that the government has many obligations to allow entry to this island because it is considered uninhabitable, Laswell will have problems sending out a rescue team to get us.” Soap sighs. “Damn.” You said it bluntly, freezing to death on an island was not an option. As the hours passed and the sun began to set, you were grateful that Soap was able to get your bags out of the helicopter. You improvised a bonfire and heated your military rations, after the meal, you were talking, would the original mission be cancelled? Would another team go instead of you? How long until your rescue arrives?

Night fell and your military attire could not contain the icy air. No matter how much you were able to pile on. You were shivering by the fire, your hands wrapped around you, you could see the steam coming out when you breathed. It grew colder by the hour. Soap was no different, he was frantically rubbing his hands together to keep warm. You were looking at the fire, when you felt your body slowly shutting down, your pulse was getting weak and then everything went black. When you finally fell sideways in the sand, you could see the image of Soap running to catch up with you. With a groan, you opened your eyes and saw arms around you, you looked up and saw Soap with his eyes closed.

“I swear I'm not perverted but if I didn't do something to warm you up, you'd die of hypothermia.” He breathes. “Thanks.” You said weakly, Soap's lips were slightly blue and his face was pale. "Damn it, I never imagined I'd freeze to death on an island, in all the ways I've imagined myself dying, getting shot, being stabbed, stepping on a mine..." You trail off with a bitter laugh. “You're not going to die. We are not going to die. They will come for us, I know they will. We just need to hold on for a while.” You started to think about your life, the promise you made to König before you left and that conversation you wanted to have with him. Then the tears started to roll down your face and you sniffled. “Don't cry, we’re going to be okay. I'm here, I'll warm you up.” Soap tries to reassure you but knows he’s not too good at it. “Soap, I don't want to die. I can't die.” You were crying harder now, “Not before telling König, not before giving birth to our baby.” You cry, hand on your stomach. Soap's eyes widened. “Fuck. You're pregnant?” His eyes are wide. “Yes, I haven't told König yet, I don't know how he's going to react.” You sniffle. “I'm sure he'll be very happy. I can see how much he loves you.” Soap laughed and you laughed along, you knew how caring your man was. “I don’t want to die without telling Simon how I feel.” Soap looks down at his hands. Your jaw dropped. Soap had feelings for the Lieutenant, I mean, that's fine, but you never guessed he was gay. “You're going to tell him how you feel Soap. We will survive.” You felt the need to comfort him after seeing that he was also worried about getting back.

You remained embraced, the little warmth between you being squashed by the dropping temperature. Your eyes were about to close when you heard the shrill sound of the propellers and those beams of light illuminated you. “They're over there!” Your Captain's unmistakable voice echoed. You opened your eyes and saw your boyfriend coming towards you, when he realized that you were hugging, you noticed that his eyes darkened, he helped you to stand up, hugging you and bringing you close to him with his chin resting on your head. “Thank you for taking care of her, Sergeant.” König's voice was serious, but with a mixture of concern and relief. He picked you up and carried you onto the plane, where he wrapped you in a blanket and didn't leave your side until you landed at the base. You were taken straight to the infirmary to treat your injuries and hypothermia.

—

The next day, you woke up in one of the beds in the infirmary. You looked at the wound on your leg, which had already been sewn up, your head no longer throbbed, you felt better, but you had to stay under observation. You looked around and found König in an armchair, he was reading on a Tablet and didn't notice that you had woken up. “König?” You ask. "Liebling, I'm glad you're awake, how are you feeling?" He asks, getting up from the armchair and crouching beside the bed. “Well, I don't feel like a Popsicle anymore.” You smile weakly. He laughs softly and kisses your forehead. “I was so worried, when I heard that the helicopter had gone down, I...” König's eyes filled with tears and he couldn't follow through with his words. "Come here." You said opening your arms and he sat on the edge of the bed, embracing you. “I'm here now, like I said I would be. You won't get rid of me that easy.” You smile, trying to ease the tension, he chuckles against your chest.

You heard footsteps coming towards you, so König got up, even though you were lovers it was unethical to show affection in front of your peers. "It's good to see you awake and your normal color." Captain Price said, visibly relieved that you were okay, he had an almost fatherly look on his face and really, you felt as if he was a father figure to you. “When they discharge you, look for me, you and MacTavish, I need one on one. Each of your testimonies on the downfall of, you know, Shepherds bureaucracies." He said, rolling his eyes. “I'll let you rest.” Captain Price says.

—

Two days later, you and Soap meet in the hallway, heading towards Price's office. “Hey, how are you? Haven't seen you since they rescued us, I was worried.” Soap looks at you worried. “I'm fine, a few stitches and painkillers and I'm as good as new.” You smile. “And the baby?” He asks. “Shut up Soap!” You said in a whisper, eyes wide, looking around to make sure no one heard.

The feeling that König could have lost one of his best friends and the love of his life still sat heavy on his chest. He was relieved to have you back, although some people gossip about how close you were with Soap when you were found, it burns König inside. Everyone looks at him like he’s a victim and he hates it. You wouldn’t do that to him, you couldn’t. “Haven't you told König yet?” He hears small voices as he makes his way through the hallways. “No, he's still shaken up from the accident. I don't have the heart to tell him now.” You sigh. “König isn’t an idiot, he'll notice.” Soap breathes. “I know Soap, but I prefer to wait a few more days. Please don't say anything to him, I want to do this myself.” König stops in the hallway when he hears your voices, but what don’t you want to tell him? And why did Soap know and he didn't? What's going on? Price's voice calling them into the room snapped him out of his thoughts but he couldn't think of anything else for the rest of the day.

After giving you all the details of the fall, the captain finally released you, he gave you the day off that you didn't want to spend with anyone but König. You went looking for him around the base, but you couldn’t find him. When you asked some soldiers they said they saw him leave in a car, you thought it was strange, because he never left the base. Especially without notifying you first. But you thought he needed a break and went to your room. You texted him. “Hey, some guys told me you left, are you okay love?”

You picked up a book to read while you waited for an answer, you read about 20 pages and started to wonder about the delay, you looked at your cell phone impatiently, 7:15 pm, over an hour and he didn't answer. You thought about sending another message when you heard the door open and König walked through the door. "Hey. I was worried, is everything okay? I sent you a message but you didn't reply, what happened?” You ask. He can see the concern on your face. "I needed to leave. To think." His tone was cold and his eyes didn't meet yours. “Did something happen?” You ask, getting up and standing in front of him with your hands around his waist. “No, it's fine, I left my phone here when I left, I'm sorry.” He sighed and placed his hands on your shoulder. “You have to rest now, go to bed.” König says. “I've already rested for three days, König, right now I need something else.” You said slyly, rubbing your hands on his broad back. “I need to prepare the armory for a mission, I just came to see how you were doing. Go rest little one.” König said, giving you a kiss on the forehead and leaving the room, leaving you there wondering what you could have done for him to treat you so coldly.

-

The following day was quiet. It seemed as if König was avoiding you, which you weren't too fond of. He made you feel alone and you needed him. Especially after a near death experience. You found him earlier to ask him why he was acting so weird. He avoided you, saying he had work to do.

After asking some guys in the mess hall if they had seen him, you find out he had been covering someone else's watch. Something he never did, he always spent as much time with you as he could between missions, this was out of the ordinary for you. You make your way up the flights of stairs to get to the top of the watch tower, stopping midway to catch your breath. Curse this baby for already taking so much of your physical ability. After catching your breath for a minute, you continue to the top, spotting him sitting inside. "König, what's going on?" You ask as you walk through the doors, you startle him a little. "What do you mean?" He asks. "I mean you avoiding me and acting really weird. What's this about hm?" You ask him. You have him cornered, he can't lie to get himself out of this one. He sighs. "I know you cheated on me. I overheard you talking to Soap outside Captain Price's office." He sighs. You could feel your blood beginning to boil. Clearly König had no trust in you. "Are you serious?" You seethe. He looks down at his hands. "I know you cheated, you should have told me." He stands up. "I didn't cheat on you König!" You growl. "Lügnerin." He growls. You know a few words that he's taught you during your relationship, and him calling you a liar strikes you right to your core. "Soap is gay!" You growl. "I wanted to wait and surprise you at my first doctors appointment." He looks at you in confusion. "I'm pregnant, you jerk!" tears prick your eyes, gathering at your water line. His eyes widen, stomach falling after hearing you say those words that cut through him like a knife. “I told Soap because I thought I was going to die!”

After a moment of silence, he steps forward. "Y/N.." He trails off. "I'm so sorry. I had no idea." he sighs. "Schiesse..." He trails off. He knows he's messed up, accusing you of doing something so messed up, it was a huge mistake. "I thought.. when I heard the both of you. I thought something happened." He breathes. "Don't you trust me?" The tears spill over your eyelids, streaming down your cheeks. "Of course I trust you. I just.." He sighs. Putting his head in his hands. He messed up really bad. "I'm so sorry liebling." He breathes. You turn around to walk away but he catches you arm, pulling you into him. "No, don't go." He breathes. Tears gather in his own eyes, and that's how you can tell he's really sorry. He never even comes close to crying, hasn't since the both of you have been together. He lowers himself to his knees, lifting your shirt up to get a good look at your tummy. You didn't know exactly how far along you were. You hadn't seen a doctor quite yet. He sees the small curve of your baby bump, taking in a deep breath. He was really going to be a father. He couldn't believe it. He doesn’t understand how he didn’t see this before, he knows your body like the back of his hand.

—

You laid on your back in your bed, König was sitting beside you, face level with your massive baby bump. He was feeling your son kick, something he was obsessed with since he first started kicking. He couldn't believe there was a tiny human growing inside of you. Half of him. He was still in shock at the fact he was going to be a dad. König was an amazing dad and partner already. Going out at ungodly hours of the night to get you your cravings. Massaging you when you were uncomfortable, getting you warm compresses when your back was sore. But only after it was safe because he did research and knew warmth could send you into early labor. He dealt with your emotions, your hormones were all over. You jump, groaning out. "He got my rib." You groan, holding your side. König chuckles. "You be nice to your mummy you little rascal." He breathes. He runs a hand over your stomach feeling him kick his hand. "Hey! No attitude." He smiles. He kisses all over your stomach. He loves this. You had been put on bed rest due to having high blood pressure, taking a break from work. König still worked but he was home more often than usual. Captain Price knew how important this was for the both of you. Not wanting to take away any more time from your family than he needed to.

"What will we name him liebling?" He looks up at you. Those bright eyes you’d fallen so in love with. "I'm not sure. I haven't thought about it." You shrug.

After a moment of silence, König perks up. "Theo?" He suggests. You look down, seeing your tummy moving with your hyper baby. "Theo." You mumble. "I like it." You smile. König smiles, nuzzling in beside you, head level with your bump as he mumbled more things you couldn't understand to your baby. He always talked to him, something you loved. König was going to be an amazing father. You were going to have your own little lovely family, and he was going to be an amazing dad and husband.

The little tiny box containing a diamond ring that was shoved to the back of his drawer proved it, waiting for the perfect moment to ask you that lovely question.

[lovelyladyabsinthewrites]

OHHHHH A ANOTHER BRAIN STORM HAPPEN!!!! ok ok you know that Butcher had Becca ok and then (well you know what happened to her 😶😶) AND Butcher is not the only one who tried to move on, MC too tried to move on like Butcher and Becca situation but with MC and BN (aka black noir).

She too didn't think that she would be able to love again but then met Noir he did heal most of painful parts but Butcher also gonna have that piece that he took with him, even though at first Homelander didn't like the relationship between MC and his best friend (in this time Soldier boy is still kidnapped and didn't know about the relationship) BUT Vought though about like one of those power couple soo HL couldn't do anything but both Black noir and MC did have a good relationship like Becca and Butcher BUT like you said fate can bring inescapable things to happened, both Noir and Becca died.

And Billy Butcher and MC cross paths again with one a nother and fall in love once again.

P.s bonus one too after Soldier boy found out about his baby girl was dating the guy who send him to Russia, soldier boy was pissed and wanted to do inexplicable and painful things to Black noir but couldn't do it.

(I also can imagine where Black noir confess to MC that he and the Payback team send Soldier boy to Russia , and she probably already knew and understand the situation of his and her dad, thought her Soldier boy was dead bc Vought said something about explosion and stuff and didn't think that soldier boy was alive). ;33

honestly, as much as i love BN i see him more as an uncle/father figure/best friend/guardian angel to both mc and hl since he's known them since they were little kids. like bn taking care of them with the hopes that they won't turn out like their father. he sees how sb raises you and your brother and does his best to at least make parts of your day fun and bearable. that you and hl have some semblance of a happy childhood.

i can imagine sb bringing his kids to a Payback training session and BN keeping you guys entertained to prevent you from seeing your dad beat the ever loving fuck out of Gunpowder.

i think he'd still be looking out for them even when they're part of the Seven. maybe he feels partly responsible still for them. but bn unfortunately acknowledges that it might be too late for hl :( and of course bn feels slightly guilty about having a hand in sending SB to russia. He convinces himself that you and your brother would be better off without soldier boy.

and when mc leaves the seven to join the boys, bn still looks after her. he wants for you to get as far away as possible from homelander. there's a chance for you to be different and even if it means BN can't see you every day he knows that the Boys have your back.

he does give butcher the business at first when you start to date him again. or as much as he could since he can't talk.

yes, Black Noir is the guardian angel of Soldier Boy's kids 🥺

[nei-ning]

Many weird dreams from last night. In first my sis was playing some video game so I helped her to find items etc. In one point we noticed one team member is missing. A male vampire demon. We found him outside in medieval town. He was laying in a little fenced animal area where was pile of poo, human corpse with flies etc. He had long black horns forward and between them small area of reddish-brown hair (like Crowley's hair style curl from Good Omens).

He was alive but his chin and neck had bad burns, skin looking like melted cheese. He sat up and spoke slow in a hissing way, like snake. What I managed to hear from him, he said he would allow himself to be burned again if it would save his friends (meaning all of us his team mates). He stayed behind to begin with to save someone from very intense fire. He survived.

In next dream I was in a house with sis and someone else. Sis had ordered 2 huge boxes of things (vitamins, kitchen supplies, toilet papers etc). I was given a time limit to use on unpacking those boxes. I failed miserably each time! :'D in first round I didn't even find the clock to check the time. I'm second time I still had 32min left and I thought I can easily unpack the rest of the stuff in that time. Bullshit xD in last time I had time left 3,28 seconds. I gave up.

In other dream I was on the walk, suddenly just ending up in this room which was some kind of animal shelter. There was a woman who clearly couldn't care less at being there. She worked there but she was doing crosswords. Across her was bigger cat, looking like Verti. I actually didn't see him but I knew he was there. I heard his voice in my head. He said: "My heart hurts..." I instantly told about this to the worker who just groaned and said: "He keeps saying that." I was shocked! That cat was clearly and seriously ill and she did nothing! I wrapped this cat in white towels, rushing through this tiny hallway, finding a vet in the same place. I told her the situation as she started to listen to his heart. I asked will he survive but she shook her head, saying it's already too late for him. He either died there and then or she was going to put him down, end his pain.

In last dream mom took me to see my uncle who said to me he knows someone leaked out the information to me. I was scared since I thought he was talking about another thing but then he said: The seal. I need to know can you kill it." I said I won't hesitate to kill an animal if it's suffering. Just give me a riffle and I kill it. He seemed pleased so we headed out. The seal was supposed to be in the middle of the road where uncle had moved it, hoping someone to drive over it but we lived in rural area. The seal was found at the base of a tree near the road.

Uncle was holding a huge knife. He was going to pierce seal's head with it but I noticed how the seal opened it's eyes, being responsive. I yelled my uncle to halt and he did. This seal had long healing wounds all around it's body but no blood. It looked a bit tired but otherwise good and healthy. I told my uncle we should try to save it since it was energetic enough to be given a second chance. We just would need to find / get it fishes and see if food would help it as a first aid.

Uncle's friend, who I don't know, came there and she had a tracking collar for sheep but it was put on the seal, just in case. Then next we were in a car and this seal was in my lap. We drove past my childhood area with a lake and the seal saw this lake, another seal hunting fishes near the shore. This greatly improved seal's health and mood. It clearly recognized the lake and the other seal. I was happy, smiling at it. I said to others it clearly knows where it is, where it is from and it must had swim in this other lake via this underground tunnel / pipe which went under the road further away, connecting upper and lower lake.

I told this seal it will get back home after we get it some fish, feed and observe him 2 days to be sure he's okay. After that I woke up.

[ninapi]

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Save me (Kageyama Version)

Premise: Friendship is a fragile thing. Keeping you safe was his priority for the longest time, but overcoming hardships along someone you hold dear form irreplaceable, indestructible bonds, and a childhood friend can easily become the love of your life; or so that was for Kageyama Tobio.

Word Count: 2953

Chapter 2: Butterflies

The day of the match was finally here, after seemingly never ending preparations, you finally felt like you could handle going on your own. Semi had helped more than he ever had to, and you were grateful, without him you definitely wouldn’t be able to overcome this problem in such a painless way.

He became someone really important to you and you can say you owe it all to Tobio. If it wasn’t for him you would have never even bothered visiting the gym or look for the volleyball team, you would have avoid them all together scared of having to see your ex ever again, but thanks to him you made wonderful friends, not only Semi but also Ushijima was an active part of your life, he was talking more lately and even texted you every once in a while. Your life would be significantly less exciting, boring even without them.

You were sitting on the front of the section reserved for Shiratorizawa, all the cheerleaders were side-eyeing you for taking a place usually saved for them. You thought about sitting in the Karasuno area since you were there mostly to see Tobio, but just thinking of the sad eyes Ushijima would give you broke your heart to pieces, and you chose to sit with your school.

But the moment the boys went out, your eyes immediately met Tobio’s.

He thought he would have to work harder, look for you around the school grounds like a creep with a disguise, but there you were, sitting on the front row, smiling so brightly just for him, like the old times.

He was so lost in your eyes that he forgot how to walk, getting Hinata to crash against his back and fall on his butt. “Man, you can’t just stop walking like that, someone could get hurt!” but his words never reached his ears, his stare was so intense it was making you blush and that just made it even harder for him to look away. By now Hinata was standing beside him, following his line of view, “Ohhhh, so she’s real. But isn’t she sitting in the wrong section of the gym? Maybe you should go tell the poor girl before those scary cheerleaders eat her alive.” without thinking it clearly, he just followed Hinata’s instructions like if they were orders coming from his coach, diligently, without questioning, startling his teammate.

He walked over to you, looking up to where you were sitting as if there was nobody else around looking at the embarrassing display. The Shiratorizawa mob started booing at him, but he was just not moving, entranced by your eyes. “I’ll see you after the game.” you mouthed the words quietly only for him to see and he gave you an angry looking nod. You knew that face though, and he was not angry, not in the slightest. He always made that face when his own feelings overwhelmed him to his core and didn’t know what to do with himself. It was encouraging seeing how his cute side still remained.

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

The game was the most intense game you’ve ever witness, you could swear it lasted an entire season, but Karasuno won. You didn’t know how to feel about it, your friends were sad, angry, tired, they needed your support. But the happiness surrounding Tobio ended up swallowing you.

You ran over to the entrance of the gym to wait for them to come out, happily swaying on your feet as you thought of all the things you wanted to tell him, how you’ve missed him so overwhelmingly much, how you hoped you could see each other often again even if you were in different schools now. Your face was a mix of excitement and nervousness, your cheeks as red as apples, your smile could make a man go blind.

“(Y/N)? I thought I saw you back there! Did you come to look for me? I bet you knew I would come to mock the pathetic winners.” you could physically feel the color of your face draining, cold sweat coming out of odd places with each word that came out of Oikawa’s mouth.

“I’m not here to see you. Now if you excuse me…” you knew going into the locker rooms could potentially get you and your friends in troubles, but you couldn’t resist thinking of staying there a second longer. “No, no, no, you ain’t going anywhere. Come on sweetheart, let’s go get a coffee. It’s been so long since we’ve seen each other, I’m sure you’ve missed me as much as I’ve missed you.” he was holding onto your wrist, tugging you harshly to his side. “Please let me go, Toru…”

Karasuno’s team started coming out one by one, halting his move, but he was too slow, Kageyama saw him, saw your wrist once again red and swollen and some would say he was possessed by a spirit full of vengeance, with lightning speed he had one of his hands on your waist, pulling you gently onto his chest, his other hand was slapping Oikawa’s away from you. “Don’t you dare touching her ever again.”

“Is that a way to speak to your senpai, Tobio-chan? I just wanted to take my girl for a drink, have a steamy date, you know? Nah you wouldn’t know what I’m talking about, you’re just her lunch friend.”

Your head was spinning, this is why you avoided going out. Your worst nightmare became a reality and Semi was nowhere to be found. Tobio held you gently in a reassuring manner, noticing you weren’t reacting at all. You looked like a broken doll, your eyes were empty, you were cold, and it was starting to worry him. “Oikawa senpai, do you know her? I saw her in Kageyama’s phone the other day, they seem close.” poor little Hinata didn’t know what he was doing, it wasn’t his fault, is not like Kageyama to talk about his private life, not even with his closest teammates. “Close? Huh, don’t make me laugh. She’s my ex-girlfriend, we were all in the same school, they just know each other.”

“(Y/N) look at me.” Ignoring Oikawa’s provocations he cradled your face with his hand, making sure all you could see was his face. “Look at me, c’mon.” you complied, still shaken but being brought back to reality by his stern tone of voice, “Good, that’s it. Shall we get out of here?” his hand was larger now, it covered the entire length of your face, it was warm, welcoming. Without thinking much, you leaned on it, snuggling the warmth of his palm while closing your eyes. It smelled like him, it was such a comforting scent, even if Oikawa was just a couple of steps away from you, you were in Kageyama’s arms, he felt strangely like home, a safe place.

You gave him a short nod and he held your hand in his, gently pulling you away from the others. Oikawa jumped at the sight, stopping you from walking away, “Where do you think you are taking her? Did I say she could leave? She’s not going anywhere without me. Get a hint, Tobio-chan, she’ll always be mine, stop trying to get in the way, it’s been years, you should understand it by now no matter how slow you are.”

Hinata who was now officially very confused, got in between the two of them as to avoid punches being thrown, Kageyama shouldn’t be punching people when the nationals are around the corner, they can’t win without him. “Hey, hey senpai, that’s a bit mean, don’t you think? Hehehe, we are going for some something to eat, how about you come with us?” his nervous laugh was an indicator for Daichi that he had to do something before things went south.

“Oikawa, good to see you here. Guys let’s go we are going for some meat! You can bring her along, Kageyama.” with a gentle pat to his back he felt like everything would be just fine, his captain was great, he really felt as part of the team, part of the Karasuno family. You were scooped up and taken into the bus by a very strong pair of arms, throwing you into a dizzy spell, still not completely recovered from the shock, “I got you.”

You could see Semi with the corner of your eyes, jaw dropped, a terrified gleam on his eyes that stayed on Oikawa for as long as you could see, a tinge of guilt gracing his features. He probably felt awful thinking this was all his fault, but Tobio’s chest was so warm, and you could hear his heartbeat, it was so soothing you didn’t notice when the bus started moving until it finally stopped by the restaurant.

“Are you feeling better now? We don’t have to go in with them if you don’t want to, but maybe eating would be a good idea you nearly fainted on me.” Looking up to the source of the voice, you caressed his cheek lightly, “I missed you.” His life expectancy dropped a few years with that statement, he’s been so cooped up with taking you out of the potential harmful situation he had no time to let his feelings go lose. It is now he realizes how close you were, your body snuggled up onto his side, your face only inches away from his, your hand still on his face, eyes oozing love as usual. “Y-you did? Well, is not like I didn’t…” mumbling, he looked away embarrassed, trying to cover the imminent blush from his face with your own hand, making you chuckle.

“Thank you for taking me out of there. I…I…this is the first time I see him since that day. Funny thing, that was the last time I saw you too.”

“Wouldn’t call that funny.” he was still hurt by your actions, you didn’t bother telling him you were going to change your number, that you wouldn’t be back in school, you didn’t even say goodbye properly before leaving for high school, and now you tell him that you missed him?

“It wasn’t. I waited for you to come to Shiratorizawa so desperately. I thought I would see you again if I just waited patiently…My dad….he changed my phone without asking me, I lost all my contacts…but you didn’t come…” as normal your eyes bore no lies, he knew you were telling the truth just by looking at you, he wasn’t going to lie, it did hurt him not hearing from you for so long, but he was also at fault, he knew where you lived, knew in which school you were, but never gathered enough courage to actually get to you.

“I tried, but didn’t get in.” ah, so that was it. It somehow made your heart feel a bit lighter. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to anymore, it wasn’t that he was avoiding you. Shiratorizawa is a very high-profile school, you know better than anyone their entrance tests are no joke and studying wasn’t Tobio’s strength, you knew this.

Letting go of his face, you nodded “I found you thanks to my friend, he’s from the volleyball team, the standby setter, his name is Semi. He pushed me to come today, he knew how much I wanted to see you again. Going out for me is…well very difficult. I locked myself away to avoid seeing Toru again, I didn’t expect to see him today, but I’m still glad I came. I really missed you.”

The bus door slammed opened, a tuft of orange hair peeking from the side, “Guys you gotta come see all this food! IT’s like UGH so muCH, come come, Ukai-san said you can bring your girlfriend. He even asked for something lighter for the girls.” both of your faces were bright red, beautifully complementing each other, “She-sh-she’s n-not, my…G-“

“Yeah yeah whatever, come, they won’t let us eat until we are all inside!” giggling at the mumbling mess Tobio had become, you got up, bringing him with you by his hand.

“It’s nice to meet you, Hinata-kun?” you saw his name on his jersey is not like Tobio mentioned him or anything but the fact that you knew his name made him shine with pride. “O-of course! It’s nice meeting you too! What’s your name? I bet is a pretty name, like a flower or something.” Kageyama slapped the back of his head, making him growl back at the setter. “Hey! That hurts!”

“Yup, that was the idea. Don’t bother her, idiot.”

It was lovely seeing them interact this way, he never had friends before, it was so refreshing seeing him act this way with others, he was clearly a happier man, despite what others may think. “I’m (Y/N), thanks for being so kind to my Tobio, I appreciate you. Do you like cake? Maybe I can bake some for you guys next time!”

“Y-your??? What??? ugh I mean yes, I love cake!” poor Kageyama lost his voice, he was pretty sure he was the only one who had different type of feelings there, you were his friend, he was the one that caught feelings, alone, not you, you didn’t know about his feelings, probably even had another boyfriend by now, why wouldn’t you, you’re the loveliest creature on earth.

“Right, bakayama?” he was completely lost on your smile, he could see your lips moving, probably talking to the tiny pest, but he couldn’t hear a thing.

“Yeah sure.” you laughed as loud as your shaky self was able to, bursting his bubble, “He isn’t paying attention, Hinata-kun, let’s go get some food, I’m suddenly starving.”

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

Once you were over with the meal Kageyama offered to walk you back to Shiratorizawa, it wasn’t that far away from where you were and the night breeze was lovely.

After countless hugs and promises of meeting again, you two were finally alone. He held your hand in his with the excuse of it being really dark outside and you could trip on your own feet, but it wasn’t, the streets were pretty well lit, he just still dreams of holding your hand in his, he had to take this chance it might not come ever again.

There was a comfortable silence as you two walked together down the sidewalk, it felt just right like if things were still the same as they used to, if not better.

“Hey do you maybe want some ice cream? We can split the one that comes with two sides. I got a lucky stick the other day, and still haven’t claimed the free ice cream.” you nodded at him excitedly, he was just scratching things off of his bucket list of things he wished to do with you, but it filled your heart to its max seeing how it seemed he just wanted to spend as much time with you as possible.

The ice cream was delicious, having the moon shine on you so brightly, having Tobio’s hand in one of yours and ice cream in the other, seemed like a dream for both of you, going this far was never a possibility with Oikawas antics.

You could see him stealing glances from time to time, his ears were bright red, “Tobio, do you think we can do this again some time? I added my phone number to your contact list when we were at the restaurant, just let me know if you don-“

“YES.” his loud voice startled you making you stop on your tracks. He was staring down at you with resolution in his eyes, he was not going to waste an opportunity, never again.

“I mean, yes, I would like to see you again.” coughing to tone out his outburst, he squeezed your hand to show he was 100% serious. “Good.” your eyes were dripping honey once more, he could swim in them for the rest of his life and never get bored, he could feel an entire swarm of butterflies invading his stomach, but he would let them live there forever if that meant you would give him that look once more, if that look was just for him as he always wished it was.

Your stomach was doing the very same thing, you’ve felt this giddy air before, it’s always been there, thick, hard to swallow, but this was the first time something could be done about it.

Your school was now visible, and Kageyama was letting go of your hand for you to go back into your room, the longing in his eyes overwhelming you to your core, when an unwanted voice could be heard from the ground. Oikawa got up from his sitting place, patting his bum clean, a terrifying frown on his handsome face making you cling to Tobio for dear life. “What? Were you planning to kiss my girl goodbye? Are you seriously that stupid? Do you think I would let you do such a thing? Come here, baby.”

There was just no way out of this cycle.

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Tagged babes: @dazaisfavgf @lauraagrace @san-emi

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[chaoxfix]

Hey, i might be wrong but i think i remember you making a post for international women's day, and in it you said that you went through a period of thinking you werent a woman at all but then realised you were actually a lesbian. I just wanted to ask how you figured it out? I cant figure out if im a trans guy or a lesbian and I'm sort of desperate for guidance rn. Sorry this is a bit out of the blue and i totally get it if you dont wanna talk about it. Hope you're having a good day and take care!

ah, this is definitely a tough one, so please know that wherever your journey takes you i hope you find happiness and peace! im also not the end-all-be-all and im also not the sexuality and gender police. people can have similar experiences and feelings and still end up using different terminology and understanding themselves completely in a way that's totally different from one another, so please don't feel the need to use my experience as a roadmap for yourself.

under the cut in case discussion of sexuality and gender is triggering! genuinely, for my trans followers especially, please don't feel the need to look at this if it's something you would be uncomfortable reading. my journey definitely doesn't need to be yours.

in the end there are a few important details for why i ended up thinking i was a guy, or at least nonbinary

grew up evangelical christian and never really believed or felt the faith i was 'supposed' to feel. i also had trouble connecting with my family since they earnestly did believe it. i felt like a stranger in my own home, and worried that someday they'd disown me. i was also terrified of hell, and of 'sinning'. (making mistakes - see 4)

realized i liked girls when i was 12 and not only did i not know much about being gay aside from it being a 'sin', every girl in my grade talked so much about crushes when we were 12 that i felt super isolated from them as a peer group. due to 1 (the evangelical thing) i also grew up knowing my expectation in god's eyes was to be a christian wife and mom someday, and even aside from the 'sin' aspect and the disowning aspect, realizing i liked girls and didnt really like boys, the evangelical ideal for me was suddenly so, so terrifying.

i believed i was a tomboy growing up, but ultimately had to play with mostly feminine toys bc thats what i was given. i wanted to play with my brother but i was often left behind. i had a pretty lonely childhood and associated close friendships with my brother and his friends, not me and the other girls on the playground. when i was really little my best friend was a boy who stopped being friends with me because 'girls cant play power rangers or star wars' so that was probably pretty impactful on my psyche.

i was terrified of making mistakes due to my evangelical upbringing. because i didnt have faith i was so, so terrified of anything i did that could be considered wrong. i wanted to banish everything i'd ever done wrong, even the tiniest misstep, from everyone's memory as well as my own.

i grew up feeling guilty for any of my accomplishments because i was compared favorably to my brother and instead of feeling proud of myself, i felt like the worst person alive if i was being used as 'motivation' or a 'positive example.'

i wanted so badly to be respected by peers. but there were instances where i was told at like. debate teams. 'wow, i thought you were just here to look pretty'

an older trans friend told me he wished he'd known he was trans at my age so he wouldn't have wasted so much time, and told me i was probably trans too because he'd been just like me a few years ago, and that i should get started on social transition so it'd be easier to transition medically when i was older

i had a lot of tomboy interests, and grew up really enjoying mostly 'boy' cartoons. i also really wanted to get into parkour and obstacle courses and the punk scene, which had mostly guys where i lived

i really, really, really hated myself. i would try to reinvent myself every time i moved, but no matter what, i was still myself wherever i went -- awkward, shy, smart and interesting but always puts my foot in my mouth eventually. the only way to avoid that would be to completely change myself. every memory i had, i wanted to get rid of and replace with one from someone better.

i hated my name and body and face and personality and voice and hobbies. everything that's hardest to change, i hated viscerally.

so basically, those were the top 10 reasons i thought i was trans. ultimately, i ended up not being trans. but i thought i was for the better part of 5 years, closer to 6 altogether. i went by a gender neutral name for most of that time. every day i went by that name i was convinced that someday it'd actually feel like me, and i'd feel better for changing my name. but it never really happened. but i still hated my birth name, too, so... what was the issue? i couldnt figure it out, and was so, so anxious about it.

well, turns out the issue was reasons 9 and 10. i hated myself. and that issue was caused by 1. all of it ties back to being raised evangelical christian.

ultimately, ive been dealing with handling my depression and self-hate and anxiety. and i realized that, for me, trying to be a boy, or at least not a girl, was part of me just wanting to destroy myself in any way i could.

when i was 12, i wanted to kill myself, or at least do it by 18. when i was 14, i was presented with the option of reinventing myself as a completely different person. that seemed like the better option. but i think, overall, i didn't need to destroy anything or become someone completely different.

in the end, i don't hate myself for believing i was trans for 5+ years. i wasn't correct in my assessment of myself, but obsessing over it wouldn't really do any good at this point, so i try not to overthink it. im just sad that i didnt address the actual issues i had, and instead blanketed over them with the wrong solution.

the reason i don't see myself as nonbinary or trans anymore is because i was using it to fix the problem that i thought i had, not the problem i actually did. to me, even though i sincerely believed i was at the time, i think it was a way to not be the definition of woman that my parents had. (also, especially when i'd been assaulted at a pretty young age, as soon as i was starting to 'look like a woman' it felt safer to not become one...)

anyways. i think what i needed to do all along was just hate myself less, and try to like myself more.

that's hard to do. but it came in time, with focusing on hobbies that i genuinely enjoy. making connections and friendships that i felt seen and appreciated in, not just tolerated. pushing back on my family's views. understanding that being a woman doesn't have to mean settling down with a husband and having kids. it also meant finding jobs and careers that i feel like the best version of myself in, where i feel like im doing something good for both myself and others. and trying not to base my style or my appearance on how others would view me, but instead of how i wanted to view myself.

i hope this helps you sort through your thoughts!

[phanfictioncatalogue]

‘Having A Crush On Each Other’ (4) Masterlist

part one, part two, part three

All I Want For Christmas (Is You) (ao3) - lestered (clonetrobed)

Summary: AU where Dan is Phil's Christmas coworker crush, and awkward boys are awkward.

Art Class - narcissistpenguin

Summary: AU in which Dan and Phil has to draw each other in art class. Although Dan is good at art, he’s still super nervous since he had a secret crush on Phil for a very long time. Includes a fanboy Dan.

Broken Like You (ao3) - TearDrop1234

Summary: Dan and Phil meet at a theater in a nowhere town. Their friendship is instant, but the rest not so much.

Covet (ao3) - americanphancakes

Summary: The only thing making Dan feel alive is his all-consuming crush on the new deacon.

cloud watch (ao3) - howelllesters

Summary: I asked for people to leave words in my askbox so I could write a mini phanfic. existentiall-crisiss didn’t play fairly, and left me ‘clouds’. Or, pastel!Dan hates his new journal but writes in it anyway, and accidentally just ends up recording his feelings on punk!Phil, in a suitably melodramatic way.

Crappy Situations, Happy Endings - dxnhowell

Summary: Dan Howell comes from a strict family and lives with a homphobic dad. Phil Lester is the school’s ‘bad boy’ and also happens to be Dan’s crush. Things go horribly wrong at a Christmas party at the Howell’s house when Dan and Phil are spotted kissing. Crappy situations turn into happy endings.

Crushing On The Bad Boy - dxnhowell

Summary: In which Louise tries to help her best friend out by setting him up with his biggest crush, Phil Lester, the bad boy Quarterback on the football team. They’re total opposites, but Louise thinks Dan has a chance with him. However, things don’t exactly go to plan.

Drowning in You- botanistlester

Summary: Dan is the BAMFy popular boy, Phil is the quiet nerd. Dan secretly really likes him, so he always teases him and calls him names. One day Phil is fed up, so when Dan calls him a stalker he replies and gets really close to Dan and says “Would you call this stalking?” to make him uncomfortable.

fish me up (ao3) - megiaolf

Summary: Dan has a crush on the pet store clerk

Flower Crown Luck (ao3) - HeartsAndSpades

Summary: Punk!Phil has a slight crush on Pastel!Dan and when Dan drops his flower crown in the library, Phil returns it and they start talking.

give this thing a try (ao3) - pasteldanhowells

Summary: Dan is a cashier at a grocery store, and Phil is his supervisor. One evening at work, Phil surprises Dan by asking him out on a date, and of course Dan, who's had a crush on Phil since forever, says yes. Cue, the freaking out and comfort ensues.

Hearts on Ice (ao3) - yourlocalhipster

Summary: Dan has a small crush on Phil. Big deal, right?

Here’s Hoping - adayinthelifeofphan

Summary: high school and phil just moved and dan is like mr.popular and like he hates him but secretly loves him and Phil finds something that shows that dan actually loves him and stuff like that.

I think I'm in Love with my Best Friend (ao3) - marleejo0

Summary: Dan has always had a crush on Phil, but he knew that Phil could never like him back. That is until one eventful day when Dan realizes Phil might feel differently. Tooth rotting Phan fluff.

repeats and replays (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: phil’s had a crush on his coworker dan for way too long. he’s never had the nerve to ask him out, as much as he’d like to, but their friendship is good as it is.

one day, though, dan slips up mid conversation, and everything changes

The Scent of Pining (ao3) - americanphancakes

Summary: Dan and Phil grew up together, but were separated by university and the mundanities of life. After years of missing each other, keeping track of each other's careers, and asking their families about each other, they finally reunite at a Christmas party back home. Surrounded by fragrances that cast their memories back to their childhood together, they each work up the nerve to finally do something about how they've been feeling for a decade.

Thoughts and a Train Conversation (ao3) - croissantbleu (orphan_account)

Summary: It's 2009, Dan is on his way to meet Phil for the first time, and thinks back on some of the choices he's made

You Be The Art, I'll be The Brush (ao3) - t_hens

Summary: Phil is a harried art student just trying to do his best and he may have just a little bit of a crush on his sketching class' new model Dan.

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon back again for more ranting. So I agree with your side-eye to what exactly the Buck storyline of next episode is going to entail. We know the firefam parts are going to be delicious and hurt in all rhe best ways, even that small glimpse at the hospital had everyone screaming incoherently, and we haven't even seen Maddie' s reaction yet! But as for the coma dream itself? There's where we could hit a serious stumbling block. Like you said if this is just about how life looks for him with

Daniel alive and him never being a firefighter, and how that effects for the 118 what purpose is that supposed to serve exactly?? Like the time for a story about Buck questioning his place in the team was early 5a when he briefly thought of leaving, not now when he's given no hint of having those same insecurities. If it's to give him a reason to come back, making it about everyone else's unhappiness and not his happiness is NOT character development, it's continuing the same pattern for Buck. It can't be some revelation about the most behated sperm donor nonsense since he's supposedly fine with all that. The last thing we got from Buck was he was sort if looking longingly at the Buckley-Han dinner wondering if that could have been their family, is he supposed to find out no, his parents would always be treat him the same, which seems pointless on a number of levels. I'm starting to really fear this part of the episode will end up being KR having her "fun" episode without it having any real substance or impact. Let's face it, it wouldn't be a first for her and since there seem like she's already ready to move on is this going to be ANOTHER near-death story that just ends with no follow-up. I really, really hope with all the build up something comes out of this. I love to see these actors give it there all but without pushing the story forward it loses some magic.

Hi my friend! I with you that no matter what, the main cast are going to deliver devastating performances and I can't wait to see them! Like I said in our last ask though, I'm concerned about the show trying to push the idea that while Buck might have finally gotten a loving, supportive family, everyone else's life is worse off. So isn't it better that he's more miserable and traumatized from years of childhood emotional neglect and toxicity, if it means everyone else gets to have a better life? How is that any kind of growth and not just reinforcing his parents idea that he's meant to be used for parts?

It could end up being something totally different and that's what I'm hoping for, but right now the underlying theme they seem to be circling is...not a particularly good look. And I know people are gonna be trying to pull out the It's A Wonderful Life comparisons but there's a huge difference in a grown man not getting to travel and go off to college but who still built a solid life with a loving wife and family being shown all the good he's done when he thinks it was better he was never born, and a man who was neglected as a child being told that if he'd had loving parents, everyone else would have suffered, so isn't it better that he was neglected and suffered instead?

You brought up a great point too, that it's weird they're doing an "if you hadn't done this job here's what would have happened to people you love" storyline when Buck's not questioning his job or his place in the firefam right now!

So the question becomes "what is this supposed to teach him"? It's not about his place in the firefam or that he's in the right job because that's not currently in question. We know that per Oliver, he's totally settled and having zero qualms or quandaries over the sperm donor thing, so what could this experience teach him in regards to that if he's not having or going to have issues about it? Is it going to teach him that his parents aren't that bad and what's a lifetime of neglect between family and he and Maddie need to get over it? Or that they're still the same people they always were and he was right, nothing has really changed? How are either of those outcomes good, or progress? I'm just...really confused what the takeaway from this storyline is going to be, because it SHOULD be that life it too short for him and Eddie to keep wasting time, and much like the shooting it should be THEE "oh" moment, but given that Oliver has been making sure to signal that expectations should be managed, and KR is spending her interviews talking about later episodes and Eddie dating again, I'm not holding my breath. So if it isn't that, then what is Buck learning through this? It's the same with the sperm donor arc in that I'm unclear on what the point is supposed to be. And it's so frustrating because the potential is just RIGHT THERE for interesting things they could do, but naturally KR only thinks Buck and Eddie are interesting when there are women she can project onto trying to get into their pants. 🙄🙄🙄

I don't think it will end up being played for laughs like she does most other things, but I'm with you that my "one fear meme" is about this ultimately being another thing that happens and then is never brought up again. Bobby getting shot, Bobby injuring his back in May Day and then getting dropped during a rope rescue when the truck when over the cliff. Athena's whole episode in 6x03 that has had absolutely zero mention or ramifications since the episode aired. The punch Chim gave Buck that she decided was resolved off screen and never needed to be mentioned (though I'm crossing fingers it does FINALLY come up during this new arc because she's been dragged for filth about that choice ever since she mentioned it in that interview). Maddie and Chim reconnecting and then breaking up immediately off screen and never having an on screen resolution either. Enough is enough! And, given how many things Buddie have pent up by this point that have never been talked about it becomes an issue of what will FINALLY be enough to trigger a conversation.

Anyway, sorry to be a downer and a Negative Nancy, I just gotta get it out so it quits trying to eat my brain and also I'm half asleep. I AM still excited for the new episode and I WILL be flailing no matter what because the cast is going to DELIVER on the emotions for sure! But I don't think the CAST giving good performances gets the showrunner off the hook for a half season that had nothing happening and having to consequently shove too much into the second half, or for bungling arcs (lookin at you tay kay coming back, L, the sperm donor arc especially), or for not understanding the characters or their motivations when planning out arcs. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[xstarxgazerx]

Dreaming

Astrid looked around the airplane, she knew her friends were on board and couldn’t seem to figure out why they weren’t all seated together. Though she couldn’t seem to remember planning the trip, or even getting on the plane, she knew exactly where they were going and that they’d been planning this for months. Standing up, she looked around the cabin to find her two friends and that’s when she felt it. There were eyes on her, something that felt foreign and threatening. She scanned the area again, trying to look casual as goosebumps rose on her skin. The moment she met a pair of brown eyes she had to fight the urge to curl up into herself. She knew. She knew then as well as she knew her own name, this man was sent to kill her.  

“Get in the car, hurry up, my Nana is waiting for us, I don’t want to be late.” There was a smile on her face as she rushed her friends into the rental car. While they were in a foreign nation, Az seemed to know exactly where to go and what she needed to get there. Right now she needed to get them moving while the hit man was stuck behind a plane full of people. They were going to need to drive creatively to make sure he wasn’t following them, she knew he was a hired gun, but she knew she would be able to shake him. As soon as she climbed into the car she looked out the window to see her grandmother waving at her, the car parked in the driveway of her childhood home. She was so happy to see her Nana that she didn’t stop to ponder the oddity of the home or the location. As she opened the car door and stepped out, she found herself inside the house with the sun already beyond the horizon.

‘Stay low so they can’t see you through the window.’ Her thoughts were bombarding her as she peeked out the window to see three different hit teams on the street. She knew they were here for her. Knew there was no way to stop them from killing her. Just as despair threatened to drag her under she heard the front door swing open and slam closed, sending a wave of panic over her. The feeling only intensified when the stranger from the plane rushed into her room, closing the door behind him. Tears filled her eyes as she looked for anything she could use to defend herself, only to be startled when he held his hands up to show he wasn't a threat. Her eyes narrowed as he moved closer, with each inch he covered she backed away another until she was backed against the wall with no room to retreat. 

“If I was here to hurt you I would have already. Please, just look. There are three cars out your window there, I’ve dispatched two of the teams already. I… I was sent to kill you, you’re right, but when I realized I couldn’t do it, they sent more teams to make sure it was done. I’m here to protect you.” She knew he was telling the truth, but in that same moment she knew that she had to die. Hopelessness for saving her own life descended, but it was overcome with the determination to save the people that she loved. If those assassins came in here to kill her, they wouldn’t be leaving her Nana and friends alive, not to mention this man she didn’t even know that mysteriously pledged to help her. Clearing her throat, Astrid shook her head and pointed at the weapons on his belt. “You have to do it…. Please, make it quick…”

Astrid bolted up in bed with her hands clutching her chest. The tears in her eyes welled up, it wasn’t the fear that made her shake in these first waking moments. It was the desolate hopelessness. Coming to terms with the fact that there was no way out for her. It left a hollow feeling in her chest, one that felt like a decaying nerve. A cavity that grew with each breath she took. Wiping her eyes, she turned, pulling Ryker’s arm around her and burrowed against his chest. If she had any hope of finding sleep tonight, it was going to be here, in the comfort of his warmth.