#I hosed him down with bright falls fire department water hose

[scowlsnwhiskey]

everytime i see your scratch burger art i think of the jerma burger bit and i just feel it in my soul that scratch would do it

I had no idea what you were talking about until I googled it, now I do, so here’s a scratch burger doodle

[daydream-believin]

What About the Smaller Picture (3)

Summary: Merlin knows best. And what he feels is best for you and Douxie right now is to sit around and wait for him to come back from New Jersey, Merlin-knows-when. (3) You’ve adjusted to Arcadian life pretty well. (1) or (4)

Warnings: Swearing, sleep problems?

Word count: 2474

A/n:  sorry this wasnt out sooner I’ve had a week

The curtains were blue. They had a little pattern of navy and white flowers and curvy lines like pottery painted with indigo. You had moved one of Doux’s bookshelves to be the second wall to allow the curtain rod to even be in place. This layout effectively created a nook of sorts around your little bed. To be frank the curtains weren’t absolutely necessary. The space kinda gave you university dorm vibes with the two twin beds across from each other. But there was no way you were letting this guy you barely knew watch you sleep. Even if you were good friends, you wouldn’t let him watch you sleep. That kind of vulnerability was special, reserved for only those closest to you.

Speaking of closeness, Douxie had been very adamant about you not calling him by his full name anymore. Made him feel like you were reprimanding him, he said. You could relate to the feeling, and so you were now being careful to replace all ‘Hisirdoux’s with ‘Douxie’s in your head. Or at least a ‘Doux’. Not ‘Babe’. Who told you that. You definitely never referred to him as Babe in your mind. Nope. That Is Not Something Friends Do.

“And,” Douxie rubbed the back of his neck, “Normally when people call me Hisirdoux nowadays it’s because they want to kill me. Only strangers and enemies call me that. Or Zoe when she’s pissed. So yeah, just Douxie is fine.”

“Just Douxie?”

He chuckled, “Yeah.” You looked up at him with a smile.

“Douxie.” He flushed, nodding. “Well, Douxie, what do you want for dinner tonight.”

That little nook you’d built hadn’t stopped Douxie from trying to talk to you all night, however. You’d think the curtains would be a clear message of don’t talk to me I want to be left alone but Doux hadn’t really taken that hint. You tried your best to brush him off the first few nights, even pretending to fall asleep. It didn’t stop him. By the fourth night you spent in Arcadia, you gave in. You had trouble sleeping anyways, as it was apparent so did your roommate, so might as well indulge him. It’s not like ignoring him did any good. Instead of staring at a blue-light screen that messed with your circadian rhythm, you talked about nonsense with Doux. And it was good nonsense. He was way too funny. Or maybe it’s that thing where if you’re into someone then everything they say is hilarious. You’ll never know. But it was nice, either way.

The funny thing was that not only did you actually start to like this, but now it was becoming hard to sleep without it. He helped. Your whole life you stayed up late, and then tossed and turned all night anyways. Now your bedtime routine was talk to Douxie for a few hours, slowly falling asleep, and then you’d sleep the whole night through like a baby. No more restlessness. No more waking up over and over again. Even if you did, you could just listen to him snore for a bit and fall right back to sleep. You guessed it was the feeling of safety he provided. Like someone was watching over you, even when you were at your most vulnerable. You’d never really had that luxury before.

 You had started noticing the trouble coming back when he would stay out late sometimes. And Douxie was gone one night and you suddenly couldn’t sleep at all. This was bad. A problem, if you will. But no matter. There were more pressing things to worry about.

Like the fact that all week, Douxie had been hinting that he had something you two were going to do soon. He would not tell you what it was. In fact he was taking quite a bit of joy in dangling this “surprise” in front of your face but not telling you anything about it. It was driving you a little crazy. You hoped what he had planned was nothing too wild, though. It’s not that you weren’t down, you were just tired. But you could use a little shaking up. This bookshop existence was boring. You weren’t boring. You had enough crazy stories to last an immortal lifetime from growing up in New Jersey. Not just modern-day Urban New Jersey. Early colonial Quaker-dominated New Jersey was wild too. Especially as one of those infamous New England witches. Maybe Douxie was taking you on some magic errand. That would be great, you were dying to do something actually in your job description ever since you got here. Not that working in the bookshop wasn’t nice, it just wasn’t magic. You were craving magic.

But alas, as the sun was setting and the last patrons left the store, life moved on as mundanely usual. You flipped over the sign, scratched a sunbeam bathing Archie behind the ears, and started the process of re-shelving all the damn books that customers left strown about. The sunset turned the bookshop pink. There were fewer cars rushing by. Now that there were no customers, it was very peaceful. Just you, Archie’s snoring, and the soft lute music playing. The music was lute covers of popular songs, and at this point you were pretty sure it was Douxie himself who recorded this shit.

Speaking of Douxie, you hadn’t seen him all day. It had made working the bookshop extra extra boring. Like if he wanted you to be free labor, he could at least give you the decency of his lovely presence. But no, it was just you, all day long. All by your lonesome, with nary a cute theater-kid adjacent wizard to keep you entertained with his company. It was a travesty really. But anyways, where was he. Better not be having fun without you.

You like to think your thoughts summoned him. He came in through the back door, panting, disheveled. Singed? He frantically looked out the door’s window into the alleyway from which he had just came from, looking for something. Whatever it was, he must have seen it, since he looked panic-stricken. In a painfully obvious attempt to swallow the fear, he turned to you, trying his best to sound nonchalant.

“SO. You know that thing? The surprise? Well. It is here a little sooner than I expected it to bE—” A loud crashing noise came from the alleyway. “Oh, fuzzbuckets.”

You dropped the book in your hand. “WHAT DID YOU DO.”

There was another very loud crash, this time closer. Douxie glanced back for less than a moment before rushing over to you, taking you hand.

“I’ll just have to tell you on the way love, come on!”

You two fled out the front door of the shop like your tails were on fire. Speaking of tails on fire, once you rounded the shop to the alleyway, you found out just what Douxie had been running from that was making such loud noises. Hellheetis. Five large hellheetis. Blazing bright in the Arcadian dusk. How the neighbors haven’t already called the cops or the fire department was a mystery. The large lion-like creatures growled, stalking down the alley. It was only a matter of seconds before they smelled and or spotted you and went back into the chase. You had to make a plan and fast. Distracting you from your thoughts, Douxie nervously laughed beside you.

“hehe, uh, could you believe there was only one of these at the start?”

You slowly turned to the wizard, “Did you,, hit them, Hisirdoux?” You could call him that now because you were in fact pissed off at the moment.

“Only twice.”

“Only twice… Okay”

“I may not be the best at monster identification. Or remembering which tactic to use for which.”

“I can see that.” You tried to keep your voice as calm as you could, which got a little easier to do as the hellheetis turned down a different alleyway, putting some more distance between them and you. They were still searching though, that was apparent. Thankfully the stench of the alley trash was keeping you covered.

“Believe me, Archie gets onto me about this all the time.”

“It’s okay… just. I think I have a plan. But one of us has to be bait. And it’s going to be you.”

“That’s fair.”

You sprinted up the stairs of the bookstore and up through the ceiling hatch onto the rooftop. You first instinct was to get them to the center of the square, where you could use the fountain as a water source. The alley they had started going down opened up to the square anyhow. It would have been a straight shot. But dear Mr. Casperan made a fuss about that being too out in the open or whatever.

Next solution. The bookstore’s rooftop had a facet, Douxie told you. You’d like to imagine it was put there so some nice old lady could have had a sweet rooftop garden without too much hassle. Maybe you should start a sweet rooftop garden. You and Douxie could have a little oasis in the city up here. You could grow veggies and flowers for your table. Maybe make a cute little picnic area. Stargaze at night. The facet. You quickly found it and made work of turning it on. Or at least you tried your best. You could hear roaring, getting louder, getting closer. The scary growls and roars were punctuated by Douxie’s frantic footsteps, grunts, and gasps. Please don’t get eaten, Douxie.

The facet was so rusty, it took all of your strength to get it to budge. And then nothing came out really, the hose attached to it lifeless without so much as a trickle. You tried to unscrew it from the facet to see if there was a problem and the metal part of the hose disintegrated in your hand. Okay. No water was in fact coming out of that facet.

Imaginary sirens rang in your ears. You had to get water, fast, or your partner was gonna be kit & kadouxle. Hellheeti chow. Growl mix. Douxies. Fiery feast. The big cats were gonna eat him okay. After managing to get the facet turned as fast as you could, fueled on pure adrenaline, and still getting little to no water, you made a judgement call of fuck that. Magic time. To be completely frank here that should have been what you had done in the fucking first place, but hey, fear dulls the mind.

Gathering up as much water as you could, like, metaphorically feel in the pipe, you pulled that shit out with all your might. Aaaannddd because of this you may have not actually remembered that you would need to catch said water in order to, you know, use it. Instead of a nice bubble to be used at your discretion, a magic roof-water tidal wave washed over you and over the side of the building into the alley below. Thank your lucky fucking stars that Douxie just so happened to have gotten the fire felines to the right spot in time. The uncontrollable rain rushed down, dissipating the hellheetis, soaking Douxie darling, and flooding not only your alley but all the alleys connected to it. Holy shit, stop it! STOP IT! It took a second, but you did finally get the river to stop pouring out of your rooftop. Fingers crossed there were no basement windows open and all your neighbors had flood insurance. And that no one saw. Can’t be connected to you if no one saw right. Shhhhhh.

You peered over the ledge to see if Douxie was alright down below. He looked like a cat caught in the rain himself. You probably did too. Douxie’s soaked bangs covered his eyes. Nevertheless, he was able to see you up on the ledge and gave you a thumbs up. You awkwardly returned it.

Toweling off your hair, and now in nice dry pajamas, you walked out of the bathroom to join Douxie on the couch. His own hair towel hung around his shoulders. You took a moment to enjoy how cute he looked all ready for bed, cozy in the blankets on the couch. And that semi-wet hair was looking pretty nice too. You only allowed yourself to linger on this for that moment however, as you remembered you were supposed to be mad at him right now. You crossed your arms as you approached the wizard.

“SO, dearest Hisirdoux, may I have the decency of getting to ask the question, WHY.”

“Funny story really.”

“Really?” You raised a brow

“Really.”

Douxie fidgeted with his hands. You watched this little nervous gesture intently as you sat down next to him. He took a deep breath before beginning,

“First thing. You’ve been here for some time now, and I thought it was enough time for me to start sharing my little, er, excursions with you,” Douxie’s face flushed a little, “I like monster hunting, and now that I know that I like you, I thought I’d like it more if I brought you along with me?”

Your face was flushed a little too now. “Hey, stop it, I need to be mad at you.” Yeah well the smile you wore gave up any pretense of that. Sorry.

“I didn’t know how familiar you were with monsters or how skilled at fighting you were, so I decided to go get some test monsters from Mervin the Monster Dealer, just to make sure our first time would be safe. FIRST TIME MONSTER HUNTING TOGETHER.”

You stifled a chuckle. “And you didn’t just ask me?”

“It was supposed to be a cool surprise okay.” He buried his face in his hands.

“… Hellheetis?” Safe monster your ass.

“Yes, I mean no, I- Mervin sold me the wrong thing alright. I thought I was buying those cute little fire sprite things you can easily just put out with your boot.”

This time you did not hold back that laughter. And you laughed, and Douxie laughed, and soon both of you were uncontrollably cackling until you were out of breath. Archie came in to see what the commotion was about and then promptly turned back around to go back to his spot in the window. You clutched your chest, still cracking up despite the lack of oxygen. Douxie wiped some tears from his eyes you were sure hoping were just from laughing too hard. You rubbed a hand on his back.

“So, I think I’ve had enough excitement for one day. How bout movie night?”

Douxie’s tired eyes smiled at you, “Yeah, I think that would be lovely.”

“Hey, I had a good first monster hunt, Douxie. Thank you,” You pulled your cold feet up under your legs, “But could you stop hogging the blankets!”

[sweetblink]

Summer Evenings.

Summer Evenings.

___________________

Antonio Dawson x Reader

Requested by: Anon

#8 “Did you just smack my ass?”  “No, there was a mosquito.” Antonio Dawson please?:)

#8. “Did you just smack my ass?”… “No, there was a mosquito.”  

Warning: small cursing, fluff, getting together.

____________________

Honestly, you don’t even know how you were even doing it. You don’t even know how you’re still standing up.

Summer had finally arrived, and today was the day that the whole intelligence team and some of the patrol men and women from District 21 were in the park, with the rest of the Chicago Police department for their first day of summer annual cookout. And Y/N was complaining cause it was very hot.

“Oh my god, I’m gonna die.” You whined, laying on top of the cooler and glaring at Adam, who was taking pictures of you, while Kim and Kevin were both laughing at you. Hailey was just smiling, and Hank was by the barbeque pit, cooking the steak.

“I should call Randy and get them to hose us down with the water hose form their fire truck.” Trudy groaned as she sat besides you, fanning herself.

“That’s a brilliant idea, Trudy.” You said, sitting up now. “Why don’t we just rent out a huge ass waterslide.”

“Y/N, we’re adults.” Kevin deadpanned.

“So? Who cares, let’s live a little, today’s basically our only day off, well that’s if the bad guys decided it’s not to hot to do crime, anyways, and we hardly get to do anything fun that doesn’t involve us being undercover, and arguing who gets to be the stripper.” You said, staring knowingly at Adam.

“Hey! I looked hot in that lingerie, I don’t know why you’re still hating.” Adam defended.

You rolled your eyes at him and turned to Voight who was now staring at his team. “What do you say, Sarge? We can cool down and then maybe we can plan something for the community for next week like you always do every other year when it gets hot.”

Voight just smiled and nodded. “Alright, call them, but if get caught or someone starts to blame you, I’m taking the blame.”

You snorted at him and shook your head. “Yeah right, in your dreams boss.” And then let out a small squeal of excitement. “I’m calling a friend that knows someone.”

“Because that doesn’t sound suspicious at all.”

“Kevin, I’m calling my cousin, Kev, I’m calling my cousin.” After that, no one seemed to disagree.  

The whole day was spent with everyone having fun, the city allowed them to have water slides for the officers to have fun and cool down with so part of the park was shut down, then someone bought water guns and water balloons, so that caused a very fun game of water balloons dodged, and water tag, all that was just made up by everyone around.

You were giggling, running away from Jay when you got sprayed with water by Antonio. Shrieking, you collided with him. “Antonio!”

The both of toppled over and you let out a loud laugh when you heard Antonio let out a curse in Spanish. “Oh god, Y/N.” he puffed out. You giggled and tried to get up but ended up straddling his stomach.

“I like the view from here.” You flirted, Antonio chuckled, while the whole teaming was just groaning at the both.

“I like the view from down here too.”

You let out a small giggle and stood up, helping him get up as well, only to let out a small oof when his body collided with yours again, only this time he caught you before you can fall. Antonio managed to pull you closer to him, to the point where you can feel his breath on your face.

You looked and blushed a bit, when you noticed that he was staring at your lips.

“Dios mio, you’re beautiful.” Antonio breathed out, leaning a bit closer.

You just gave him a small smile and started to lean in a bit closer to when the moment was broken up by Adam, who sprayed the both of you with the water gun. “Ha, you’re both out, that means I win!”

You let out a small giggled and leaned in to kiss his cheek, and then pushed him away a little and turned to Adam. “I’m going to get you for that.” You warned, before you started to chase him. Antonio just laughed and began to chase him as well.

*********************************

It was finally early in the evening, after everyone got changed, they were all seated in the tables, eating and talking among one another about anything, and nothing.

“Hungry?”

You turned to Antonio who held the plat of food, you smiled. “Starving.”

Antonio smiled and served you bits of the steak and then put it on the table where the rest of the food was, he made himself a plate and then walked over to where you were sitting and sat across from you. “So how did you enjoy your day off?” he asked as the both of you started to eat.

“I did, I needed this day to happen, so I can finally walk free from my horrible ex-husband.”

“Divorce finally went through?”

“I’m finally divorced from Antonio, as of yesterday, today I’m just celebrating, and I’m going continue to celebrate with my five-year-old.” You replied, smiling wide.

Antonio smiled. “Well, why don’t you and your kid, come and join me and my kids, Eva and Diego have been asking who’s the person making me happier.”

You started to blush bright red and shook your head at him. “What are you trying to get out of this Detective Dawson.”

Antonio smiled and grabbed your hand. “I want to date you, I’ve been crazy for you for a while.”

“Well, why don’t we ditch this place, pick a place to go and meet up for a small date, and introduce our kids?” you asked.

Antonio smile and nodded. “Let’s do that”

The both of you stood up and started to make your way where everyone was, telling them goodbye. You both started to take off when you felt someone swatted your butt. Letting out a gasp you turned to Antonio. “Did you just smack my ass?”

“No, there was a mosquito.” Antonio replied innocently.

You just stared at him and smiled. “Well, I know for a fact that there aren’t any, but I appreciate that you like my booty.” You teased.

Antonio smirked and pulled you closer to him, to which you responded by pinching his butt aswell, he jumped a little, making you giggle. 

“Hey!” he playfully accused, you just gave him a slap on the butt and took off running, Antonio right behind you, and finally when he caught you, he finally got the courage to lean in and kiss you.

______________________________

I love all the PD cast like ugh yes! 

Masterlist. 

[koala-soap]

Content In Your Presence

Chapter Three

Pairing  Foreign Reader X Japanese Shouto Todoroki

Summary  Moving to Japan seemed like the only option left open to you, to escape your rapidly increasing problems that latched themselves onto your life back in Australia. As if to cut it off, wipe everything off the table, and have some sort of a new start for yourself, despite the guilt that stuck to you like rust. Through getting lost at airports, loosing luggage and being surrounded by a foreign language, moving to Japan managed to weasel it’s way into being the best decision of your life, thanks to someone you met on the balcony next to you: a sweetheart called Shouto Todoroki.

A lovely story about a foreigner falling in love with a Japanese sweet heart, and all your adventures and mishaps together.

。。。。

With it now being your second official day in the county of Japan, it made you glad to have some sort of responsibility to busy yourself with; give yourself the feeling of being productive, rather than sitting in your small apartment slurping on roasting hot noodles from a cheap plastic cup bought from a petrol station. For the next three weeks, you were had a small and simple job, and that was to water that nice old lady’s plants every weekend during her absence.

Having no clue on how to tend to flowers or any type of plant didn’t stop you though, and having this quaint little responsibility beat ending up working long shifts in a dull super market or a little sweaty fast food place crammed with oil and fat fingers. This way, you got to help someone out and have cool breeze in your face.

But that’s enough of that, because as of now, you stood at the end of what seemed like a maze of numbers, welcome mats and corridors. Just earlier, you had set off on a mission following the bright blue line on your phone guiding you to the address, and now that the short elevator ride was over, it was time to find the correct numbered door.

Your phone now sat snug in the tight pockets of your jeans, as concentrated eyes swayed from either side of the hallway, in search of a two digit number that kept repeating in your mind.

After a minute of wandering past countless doors neighbored with mats and boots and even small plants by them, a door with the number ‘38’ etched into it’s golden plate popped up on your right. Like a switch being turned on, the rigorous eyes on your face lit up like that of a Christmas tree covered in shining tinsel; and just like was planned, a cold metal key was left lying lonely under the scratchy welcome mat for you to let yourself inside.

It slid smoothly into the lock, and the door had slowly opened up to a colorful apartment inside. Unlike your own, there were colors all around. The couches that first greeted you when you entered had multiple knitted blankets flopped over their sides, bright tins of various cooking ingredients lined up against the kitchen counter, and strings of rainbow beads draped down in front of the sliding door opening up to the giant city outside. There was also a smell of soothing incense singing around in the air.

“ Dude, my apartment sucks. ” You mused to yourself with a chuckle.

The air outside was crisp and refreshing, the large green watering can in your hands quickly filling with water sprouting from the hose on the wall.

The white cap that hugged your hair kept the sun’s warm rays out the way, and only when the can was half-way filled did you rotate the creaky tap and attempt to pick it up. Water sloshed around inside and rounded out the top onto your slippery hands, trickling like a gentle shower head over the tiny succulents shortly after. Your strained hands held the water source over each plant pot, with greedy soil who slurped every drop up into its dry dirt.

Once all were happy and watered, the dripping green can sat happily in its spot by the coiled hose, and your hands rested on your hips to admire the view in front of you. However, once your wet hand reached up and around the back door’s handle to pull it back, it made you skin grow cold despite the shining sun when it laughed in your face that it was indeed… locked.

“ Oh, come on, please, no.” It ignored your desperate plead and sat smugly closed in its place. Whimpering and with eyebrows screwed together in exhausted worry, you gently placed your head against the cold glass. “ Am I supposed to sleep out here? Like, c'mon…”

After tugging on it, thinking it may just be jammed, you realized it certainly was not. You stood staring at the furniture mocking you from inside also, rapidly going through your options. Fujiko was away for the entire weekend, hence why you were here in the first place, and climbing down was only a job for super heroes since you were on the fourth floor. You couldn’t call the apartment’s reception either, since it was abandoned for the weekend.

Once the panic settled in, you were left to sit on the balcony floor waiting for god to answer your prayers for the door to just magically open. The sight of the neighbor’s matching sliding door caught your eye, and you peeped through the thin black railing and thought about asking them for help.

Being the positive soul you were, you decided to give it a go. So long as they were home and weren’t an axe murderer, what could go wrong?

A small sigh filtered out your nose to prepare yourself with whatever was about to happen, but it really was the only thing that you could do in this situation; calling the fire department sounded a bit too dramatic to you, and Fujiko was over two hours away enjoying time with her kids and grandchildren.

Your wet hand gripped onto the thin railing and you looked over to the matching balcony just in front of you, pondering how to get their attention without being excessively loud.

Your body strained to stretch as far over the railing to swerve your eyes past the door blocking your view, one thong covered foot lifting slightly off the tiles. When a sudden noise busted through your concentration, it was a quick struggle to not fall over the side and onto the busy streets below.

Flinging your head around, you see a young male stepping out his sliding door with a concerned but unsure look on his sleepy face, a hand flicking rouge strands of bed hair from it. The stranger was still clearly in pajamas from the baggy shirt and shorts, but his lively eyes suggested he’d been awake for a while.

He eyed your strange situation. “ ねえ。。だ。。だいじょぶ です か？[ Hey.. Uh.. Are you okay ? ] ”

“ はい、 はい、だいじょぶ。[ Yeah, Yeah, I’m fine. ] ” Once you popped your cap off, ruffling the hair off your sweaty forehead was a relief. An uncontrollable fit of nervous laughter jumped from your lips, and out of nervous habit, scratched the tips of your sweaty ears. You really didn’t like speaking Japanese to native people, in fear of them judging you. A wave of English words gushed through your mind, and you realized your vocabulary wasn’t good enough to explain yourself.

“ しょくぶつ に 、あの。。[ I’m here to.. water.. plants and uh… ] ” Your eyebrows sank together, and your hands waved about in circles to think of words. His gentle eyes follow your finger to the glass door. “ たちおうじょう [ Stuck . ] ”

Despite his empathetic gaze, you giggled relentlessly with unimaginable embarrassment at yourself with a hand clamped over your mouth. He’s silent for a few moments, eyes internally arguing over a decision before saying with only an impressively small amount of an accent, “ Do you speak English ? ”

The sheer look of absolute shock slapped into you was honestly priceless, and for a measly second, the strained laughing ceased for a second from behind your hand. It was as if the cogs in your brain had come to a complete stop and malfunctioned right in front of his eyes, and shocked eyes stared at him for a while, though clearly impressed. Just like your own, a very faint chuckle of nervousness left him. The hand on your face quickly shot down, and your eyebrows arched up to make your smile naturally kind as can be. “ Yeah! Oh my god, that was so strange, your English is so good! ”

The stranger’s eyes scrunched to make way for his shy smile. The beginning of your excited outburst was a little too fast for him to understand, but he got the end. “ Thank you. Were you saying the door is… stuck? ” The small pause he took was for him to shift through various English words until he landed on the correct one.

Two delicate hands placed the white hat back on your hair, and you giggled again when thinking of your horrible attempt of communication earlier. “ The key’s inside and I locked myself out here… Rookie mistake, I know. ” You chuckled.

“ Ah.. ” He nodded knowingly while his brain whirred about inside to try remember what 'rookie’ meant, but found nothing. The rest made sense to the stranger, anyhow. “ Okay, uh… hm. ” He seemed stuck for what to do as well, just as you were.

Fiddling with the tip of your left ear, face scrunched in thought and you looked at the handle. “ Can we pick it ? Or is that just in the movies ? ”

He puffed out a breathy chuckle, and scratched his head. “ Maybe.. You have uh.. それ なんだった？[ What was it? ] ” Quiet Japanese mumbling made his eyebrows furrow, and then pop up when he got the word and made a motion with his fingers to show what he meant. “ A pin ? Bobby pin? ”

You shook your head with a face full of apologetic guilt. The young man lent back to peer into his house and said, “ Hang on. ” Before hopping inside and making a bunch of thudding sounds.

He reappeared with a small grey box resting in large hands, patches missing reflective metal from being scratched off with what seemed like age. It clanged with tools inside, and he crouched down to open it on the floor of the tiled balcony. Things clanged against each other, until a small and thin metal tool that slightly resembled tweezers lifted out in his hand. “ I’m pretty sure this open locks… I promise I’m not a part time burglar, though. ” He smiles, and grunts to stand back up.

“ I’ll take your word for it. ” You joke back, and he quickly reaches a hand past his door to grab a screwdriver from a cabinet. “ Are you a mechanic or something? You have so many tools. ”

He quietly chuckles for a second with the tools in his hand. “ No, I’m not that cool. I’m studying to be a doctor. I just have them for convi- convin- convinience ? ”

You reassured him of his English with a nod paired with kind eyes, and he smiled shyly. “ Now how should we do this ? ”

Agreeing to letting him hand over the tools for you to try was apparently a big mistake, because even after a while of him leaning over the railing to observe your confused fiddling and directing you, the lock still remained stuck in its place. The pieces of metal in your fiddly fingers wiggled around inside the key hole, and were lifted or twisted depending on what the kind stranger told you to do. It remained hopeless though, and you stood defeated with the lock laughing at you.

“ This is so freaking hard. ” You mumbled mostly to yourself, tongue stuck out to assist in balancing the tools in the intricate place you had them.

“ Would like me to help? It’s fine. ” He offered, and soon enough, Shouto found himself hanging off the edge of his balcony railing, one hand in yours for balance as his leg reached out for the neighboring railing with his butt sat uncomfortably on his. The gap was only about half a meter wide, but the rock hard concrete and racing cars beckoned his body to fall.

The second foot with a large sandle weakly hanging from it leaped from the metal underneath it, and with a few stumbles, the tall man had succesfully made it to the other balcony with all four limbs. You let his hand go, and winced when you caught a glimpse of the busy streets below.

“ You okay ? ” A voice couldn’t sound more worried than yours, but the stranger simply kicked his dad sandles off and sighed out all the suspense that grew inside him.

A confident nod made your nerves ease themselves. “ Yeah, yeah, don’t worry. ” He panted heavily and switched from the gap he just leaped across to the shaken young lady in front of him again. “ Easy peasy lemon squeazy. ”

You snorted, and soon both got back to opening the stubborn door.

“ 愚かなロック。。[ C'mon, you stupid lock.. ] ” It was after five minutes that both of you realized he wasn’t much better than you. He did manage to get something in the lock to click, so whatever that was was hopeful. The man currently stood hunched over, hair flopped anywhere it desired, hands delicately twisting the tools with the tip of his tongue poking out. The screwdriver was angled ever so perfectly, and the other tool was twisted to the left carefully. Both you and him jumped at the sound of a rather loud click coming from inside the door, and he decided to risk it and put his hand around the handle.

He pulled on it, and it slid along the hinges to reveal the prize inside. Shouto sighed with exhaustion and grinned with triumph; you were jumping around excitedly.

A tsunami of relief crashed down onto you, so much so you could melt and cry. This generous stranger had just wasted forty minutes and jumped a balcony for you, and now you wouldn’t have to sleep out there for two days. “ Yes! Oh god, you did it! Thank you so much! ”

He nodded, just as triumphed as you. “ No problem, my morning was rather boring to begin with. ” He breathlessly chuckled. “ Now I can say I jumped a balcony. ”

“ You sure can, my god. ” You laughed as well, “ I’m [______] by the way. ”

You both shared a chuckle over the fact you were just doing this now, after the chaos had happened. The stranger pocketed the tools with grey, oily fingers and said with a heavy accent and smile, “ I’m Todoroki Shouto. ”

[notsugarandspice]

Let’s Talk About Parks

*sings* I can’t write anything coherent so have this utter garbageee

Parks & Rec AU!

Read it on AO3.

                                  CHAPTER 4: THE BASKET

“Babe, I have a double shift today so I won’t see you until tomorrow,” says Ben, feverishly stuffing things into his duffel bag, and simultaneously trying to put on a sweater.

“Alright. I have dinner, no worries!” says Richie, picking up a pack of Cheerios without looking up from the TV.

“Oh God. Rich that’s not food. And…can you please try to clean up a little?” Ben comes up to stand by his boyfriend, and he sees Richie’s face fall a little, and he pauses the game to look up, running a hand through greasy black hair.

“I-I’ll try, okay? Just don’t expect much.” Richie reaches out to take Ben’s hand and kisses his knuckles.

Ben blushes and pats his boyfriend’s head affectionately. “Alright, well, I’ll finish up whatever you’re not going to get to.”

“Okay.” Richie gives him a small smile and Ben walks out the door in haste.

As soon as his boyfriend makes an exit, Richie feels a wave of guilt wash over him. All Ben does is take care of him and he never gives back. So Richie decides to wobble towards the bedroom, take out a piece of paper and write down a list of chores for himself. Taking a double doze of the prescribed painkillers, he starts by taking care of the area where he seems to spend most of his time - the living room, removing of the dirty dishes, empty packs of chips, multiple itch sticks, vacant beer bottles. Richie pushes all of it into a garbage bag and places one filled to the brim right outside the front door to put into the large bins later.

With no proper knowledge for the use of the vacuum cleaner, Richie simply throws the couch cushions on the floor and vacuums on top of them and the emptiness on the seating area. He discovers a lot of lost items under the sofa, and plenty more candy wrappers. After he’s completely done with all the trash in the house, he takes the garbage bags out and throws them into a pit, waving to one of the cross-street neighbors doing the same. Richie then finishes a sink full of dishes and checks the fridge for expired items.

After completing the chores inside the house, Richie blows up a kid pool he found in the garage and fills it with the water from the hose, squeezing an entire bottle of Ben’s shampoo. He remembers that Went used to wash his dog Rosco in a similar fashion, and since he can’t really get into the shower, that’s the only way he can think of getting himself fully clean. He puts two garbage bags on each leg and wraps the scotch tape under and around the knee generously. Richie runs inside the house to get one last thing - the old boombox he had since he was a kid, covered in stickers and other teenage memorabilia. He inserts the latest Three Skin CD, puts on a song he wrote to Ben at the beginning of the year and strips all of his clothes before stepping into a rather chilly pool. Richie decides to throw the clothes in too for good measure, arguing that he might be just about done with the chores for today, and laundry is simply pushing it.

Just as he starts to sing along to the lyrics he hears the back door creak loudly, and he’s too comfortable to crane his neck to see, but he already knows it’s Lawrence. That complete asshole of a neighbor who never wants to leave him alone. Naturally, his neighbor places himself right in front of the pool with a solemn expression on his face, and all Richie can think of is that the guy’s entire outfit is in earth tones.

“Turn it down.”

“No, I wrote that song.”

“Do I look like I give a shit? Turn it down.”

“I’m not going to turn it down. What are you even doing- HEY!”

Lawrence grabs the boombox and makes a beeline towards the fence door that connects their backyards.

“You give me my boombox back right now!”

“IT’S MY BOOMBOX NOW, I ASKED YOU NICELY!”

Richie sits up on the pool, utterly flabbergasted. “You did not ask me nicely, you asshole! I just put twelve new batteries in that thing!” Shit.

Richie rolls backwards to get out of the pool but quickly lands on his back without crutches. When he finally manages to hold onto the side of the house to get them, he goes wobbling after Lawrence at the highest speed possible, clothes forgotten.

*

“Hey, Lucas! Look w-what we got,” says Bill, walking into the office with a large neatly wrapped basket. He puts it on the table in front of his coworker, admiring the massive red bow.

“Whoa, mama.” Lucas reads the label that says Neibolt Construction and rolls his eyes. Suck ups.

“I l-love Chardonnay,” says Bill sighing dreamily, and bends down to look at what else is inside.

“You can have the wine. I want to take that cheese and do terrible things to it,” says Lucas, boring a hole through the yellowish square hiding behind the bottle.

Bill starts unpacking the package and only stops when he feels Mike’s hand slap the top of his from going further. “No, no, no, no! Bill, don’t you remember? We can’t accept anything above twenty-five dollars for corruption reasons, c’mon, man.”

“W-what makes you-“

“I have to go drive all the way to Portland if I want to buy a film with nudity in it. We’re public servants.” Mike picks up the basket and has to stretch his neck back when the purple tie gets stuck under it. He stumbles towards his office, opening the door with the heel of his shoe, and places the gift under the desk, careful not to distress it.

Soon after he sits down, he sees Ben make his way into the department, and Mike instantly lights up from the brightness in his friend’s eyes amplified by a dark-turquoise sweater. “Hey, Mike.”

“Ben! Thanks for coming. We were thinking of making a social network where we could post updates about the park. Something like a page on Facebook? That seems to be the place everyone goes to these days.” Mike gestures for Ben to stand next to him as he shows him the open page on the computer. “EDDIE!”

The boy irritably makes his way into the office and rolls Lucas’ chair to sit by Mike, and when his boss refuses to move, Eddie simply pushes the chair with his, getting closer to the keyboard with a blank expression. He rolls the sleeves on his flannel and opens the Facebook dashboard.

“Can we cut this red ribbon, or do you like want me to sit here and wait for you to do it?” asks Eddie, nodding towards the little bow in the middle of the screen.

“Oh, right. Sure,” says Mike, grabbing the scissors from the cup on his desk, and cuts the strip straight in the middle. “Eddie, that’s really great. Look at all the kids!” Mike points at the folder filled with pictures of children in one of the community parks.

“Oh, look! The Pit has six friends already,” says Ben, pointing at the numbered list on the right side.

Eddie clicks on the new tab and enters the youtube.com, opening a horror claymation video. He doesn’t even look up at Mike and leans back in the chair, grabbing a Sharpie from the pen cup.

“Alright, well, we have things to do, so Eddie, you’re in charge while I’m gone,” says Mike as he grabs his briefcase from under the table. He stops in the doorway to observe Eddie draw shapes with the Sharpie on top of the white jeans. Mike shakes his head and exits the department.

*

“Doing a little experiment tonight to see what will get me drunker, drinking wine or-“

Mike didn’t know what to expect to see when he makes it back to the office the next day but it was definitely not that. He stands in front of the computer in pure shock, already violently sweating through the button-down. There, on the video in the middle of The Pit’s Facebook page is Eddie, smudged eyeliner, wine-stained lips, and a Sharpie-drawn Wicca symbol in his cheek. His hair is disheveled, cheeks pink and he is drinking wine straight from the bottle. Sitting behind Mike’s desk. He can tell because Obama’s portrait is in the background, just like it is in Mike’s office. It is the highest level of a nightmare.

“Right now drinking wine is winning-“

“God, Eddie, why would you do this?” Eddie is sitting on Lucas’ table, completely unaware of the damage he’s done, smiling mischievously at the image of himself chugging some Merlot.

“Um, because I was bored and my hair looked really good. That basket was right under the table,” he says without so much as looking at Mike.

“You have to take this down. I just sent a mass email linking to this page to promote our cause.”

“C’mon, play it again, Bill,” says Lucas, laughing at Mike’s horror-stricken expression.

“You g-gah-got it.”

Before Bill gets to so much as touch the mouse Jim makes his way out of the office, his lips pursed so much that they are invisible under the luscious mustache. “Michael.” He instantly turns and walks back into his office.

Mike puts his briefcase on top of his table and walks towards Hopper’s office, placing himself in front of the boss’ desk.

“Mike, he is nineteen years old. I thought I told you to contain this entire pit situation because a lot is at stake here.”

“Yes, I-“

“The Disciplinary Committee is having a hearing later today, and you’re going to have to testify.” Jim crosses his arms and leans back in the chair, brows furrowed and eyes icy cold.

“Oh, no-“ Mike is starting to feel nausea creeping up his throat, his head consistently changing its mind about being too heavy and too light. He starts stumbling towards the closest wall.

“Eddie might get dismissed. You could get fired.”

“Oh my god. Oh god. Oh no. Oh god.” The backs of Mike’s knees bump into the bench that stands by the wall of Jim’s office, and he sinks into it, falling onto the side, letting his shoulder feel the hardness of the seat. “This bench is so uncomfortable. Help, Jim. Help! Tell me it’s gonna be okay. Jim! Tell me it’s gonna be okay.” Mike feels himself madly hyperventilating now, and he doesn’t know how to calm down.

Hopper stands up and awkwardly pats Mike on the shoulder as he flails sideways on the dark wooden bench. “It’s..uh..hang in-“ As soon as Mike reaches a hand out, Jim pulls back and leans against his desk awkwardly. “-you’re uh, you’re okay.”

The next couple of hours are an epitome of a nightmare. Mike hasn’t worked at all, and he has to dry off his suit in the bathroom because of the forming sweat stains. His head is throbbing, and the coffee is producing the complete opposite of comfort. Mike rubs his face and temples in a desperate attempt to gain some composure, but it doesn’t seem to help. The distraction appears in the face of Lucas who rolls his chair to place himself in front of Mike’s desk.

“You ready for the hearing?”

“No, not at all.” Mike pushes the coffee cup away and lets his head fall into a sweaty palm.

“Do you want me to run some practice questions with you? Maybe help you prepare?”

“Sure.”

Lucas leans back in his chair and grabs one of the notebooks on Mike’s desk to take pretend-notes. “Mr. Hanlon, you are accused of leaving an intern in charge of the department and allowing a minor to consume an alcoholic substance on government premises. How many drinks do you have a week on average?”

“Zero.” Lucas raises an eyebrow judgmentally. “Well, zero to six.”

“I’m going to write down ten,” mutters Lucas, writing scribbles.

“Yeah,” whispers Mike sighing.

“Do you ever cheat on your taxes?”

“No, never!” Mike straightens up and sits more erect, suddenly intrigued by Lucas’ enthusiasm.

“Hey, you’re doing great. Alright. How many sexual partners have you had in the past year?”

“You think they’ll ask something like that?”

“You never know, nothing is off-limits to them. Now, Mr. Hanlon, how many sexual partners have you had in the past year?”

“Zero to six.”

“Zero. Have you ever thought about Jim sexually?”

“What-“

“Have you ever had a sexual dream about Jim Hopper?”

Mike looks horrified, and his voice comes out borderline hysterical. “Absolutely not, no-“

“Yes,” says Lucas, scribbling something down.

“No-“

“Now in this recurring dream you have about Jim, is he a furry, half-furry, a merman?”

“What-“

“Is he wearing a baseball uniform? Are you making love to him in the field of flowers on a couch shaped like his mustache?”

“Okay, no, time-out-“ Mike’s forehead is covered in sweat, and he aggressively throws his arms around.

“This committee doesn’t do time-outs, Mr. Hanlon! Answer the questions!”

“I need something to drink,” says Mike, unbuttoning his blazer.

“How about some wine with a minor?!” screams Lucas, leaning on the table.

“I meant water.”

“Thank you for your time, Mr. Hanlon. You’re fired.” Mike’s eyes nearly fall out of their sockets. Lucas stands up and pushes his chair back. “So this is your worst case scenario, you know?”

When Mike later walks towards the meeting with Jim, he is suddenly very aware of their proximity but also infinitely grateful that he’s there. Mike’s not sure he could possibly do this alone.

“Thank you so much for coming with me.” He is pacing in the waiting room, and Jim distractedly scrolls through his phone.

“I’m a department head, I have to be.”  

They’re called into the room much sooner than Mike would’ve liked it, and the moment he sits in front of three stern middle-aged men, Mike instantly regrets applying for the job in the first place.

“Mr. Hanlon, you’re here because you allegedly accepted a gift of over twenty-five dollars, and contributed to the delinquency of a minor. Can you tell us what happened?”

“May I have a glass of water first?” The man nods and Mike instantly reaches for the glass standing on a black tray in the middle of the table, but his nervousness betrays him, and he knocks the whole row down. After putting it all back in place, he shakily pours some of it into the cup and gulps everything down. Mike then takes the briefcase from the chair next to him and pulls out a folder full of neatly typed notes, but the paper flutters in his hands.

“Two days ago, my department received a gift basket from a well-known local construction company. Awash in the glow of attention, I made a very unwise decision to leave it in my office in an indication that it was accepted by the department. This decision will live in infamy. The basket was already halfway open, and our intern, Edward Kaspbrak, drank some of the wine without my knowledge.”

“But you did open the basket. And the intern did drink some of the wine,” says the exceptionally unpleasant man sitting right in front of Mike, his mustard yellow blazer making Hanlon’s eyes hurt.

“Don’t blame him for my mistakes!” exclaims Mike, slamming his fist on the table. Upon seeing the other people’s rather startled faces, he clears his throat and sits back a bit. “The biggest crime we can commit here would be to destroy the teenage boy’s passion for local government.”

“Mr. Hanlon, what was the first thing you did when you arrived at work the next day? Could you give us a detailed timeline?”

“Of course. I awoke at six twenty-one in the morning after a fitful night of sleep-“

“Okay, what do you guys possibly want him to do?” suddenly asks Jim, half-groaning and rubbing his face in irritation.

“Well, we don’t know yet. We have a lot more questions ahead.”

Jim groans louder now and clenches his hands together.

“Jim, it’s okay-“ Mike reaches to place a comforting hand on his boss’ shoulder.

Hopper flinches away from the gentle touch, like he always does, and resumes to get even more riled up. “No, it’s not okay. This is not communist China. You cannot make him whip himself. You cannot make him wear a hair shirt.” Mike feels a sudden surge of raw gratitude wash over him, and he can’t help but crack a smile.

“We weren’t planning on doing either of those thin-“

“This is America! You want to live in North Korea? Go live in North Korea. I don’t want to. I want to live in America! Mike has never broken a rule in his life to the point that it’s annoying. If you want to slap him on the wrist, go ahead. You planning on doing anything more serious? You’re going to have to go through me. Let’s go.”

“We’re done?” asks Mike, his eyes jumping between the three shocked men and red-faced Jim.

Hopper promptly stands up from the chair without pushing it in. “We’re done. Let’s go.”

Mike stands up too, grabs his things struggling to mask a gleeful grin spreading across his face. They make their way back to Hopper’s office, and the boss frustratingly sits down on the letter chair. Mike stands in front of the desk again because his nervousness isn’t letting him relax enough to take a seat.

“After this, you should only expect to get a letter in your file. That’s it.”

“Jim, I just wanted to thank y-“

Jim raises a hand a closes his eyes in an unshakable demeanor. “Don’t worry about it.”

Mike smiles warmly, and he can see the corners of Hopper’s mouth jump slightly but he doesn’t comment on it, and instead sits down behind his own desk and instantly texts Ben who shows up in less thank half an hour.

“Hi, I got here as soon as my shift ended. How did it go?” asks Ben huffing and puffing, giving Mike a quick hug.

“I don’t want to be overdramatic but today felt like a hundred years in hell and the absolute worst day of my life.”

“Oh god, Mike. I’m so sorry.” He places a hand on his friend’s shoulder, and Mike’s slight smile feels like a win. “I haven’t slept in more than a day but do you want to go out tomorrow? Take your mind off things?”

Mike places a hand on top of Ben’s and smiles wide. “Yeah, that’d be great.”

*

Ben finally makes it back home an hour later, his muscles aching from standing for so long, and head heavy from lack of sleep and abnormal amounts of caffeine. But as soon as he opens the door, he registers the impeccably clean living room area and walking further notices the pleasant smell of freshly cooked food. And there, in the middle of the kitchen stands Richie, his hair tied back in a ponytail, freshly ironed button-down rolled at the elbows but torn track pants on the bottom. And somehow, that’s still incredibly endearing, and Ben feels his heart swell with affection.

“What do you think?”

“Rich, this is so sweet.” Ben walk closer to the kitchen, dropping his duffel bag on the sofa and instantly notices a scrape on his boyfriend’s cheek. He cradles his jaw and rotates it to the light source. “What happened?”

“Eh, I was chasing this jag-weed neighbor and fell in some prickly bushes. Doesn’t matter. What do you think of the house?” Richie points one of his crutches to the rest of the clean area.

“I love it,” says Ben sweetly and leans in to give Richie a soft kiss. “Baby, sit down, I’ll look after your scratches.”

Richie carefully sits down behind the dinner table set with candles and wine and leans the crutches against the side. “Does this mean I’m getting gently laid tonight?”

“Richie!”

Perma Tag: @happytozier @studpuffin @j0ys @qwertykevin @its-stranger-than-you-think @trippy-alexissss @letmybabyystayy @tinyarmedtrex @d-nbroughs @aizeninlefox

Parks & Rec AU Tag: @gazebo-motherfucker @1-800-lonelyheartsclub  @eddiecare