#I imagine he writes down jokes to use to pay for things but his delivery is so awful that it sucks all the funny out it

[fadedrainbowbookshelves]

While a bit awkward, he's funny as long as he's not actively trying.

[blu-joons]

Our Little Girl ~ Jeon Jungkook

Pairing: Expecting Dad!Jungkook x Reader

Warnings: Slightly descriptive pregnancy, labour and birth

Word Count: 5.3k

Summary: Your little girl has been what the two of you have dreamt of for so long, finally the time has come to welcome her into the world with Jungkook by your side.

“You know, for a man that’s about to raise a daughter for the next eighteen years at least, you’re looking rather cocky.”

Jungkook could only smile from the other side of the room as a grimace danced upon your face at the feeling of another contraction hitting you. You’d lost count of the hours you’d been almost doubled over in bed some time ago, barely able to keep your eyes open at the excruciating pain that you found yourself in. With each passing breath, the gaps of relief that came between contractions became smaller and smaller, almost unbearable.

You’d watched plenty of documentaries before your pregnancy to know what to expect, and yet as you found yourself staring forwards at the figure of your husband, keeping his distance from your growing temper, none of what you saw on the television seemed to play out before you. Under watery eyes, you could just make out the time on the clock hanging just above Jungkook’s head, 3:15am.  You scoffed at the sight, doubting even in yourself how much longer you could go through such an ordeal. Despite the several months you’d had to lead up to this moment, not a single part of it could truly prepare you for what was to come.

As another struck against the pit of your stomach, Jungkook raced back across to your side, resting his hands over your reddened ones that gripped tightly onto the rails beside your bed. Murmurs of encouragement came from him, words you’d listened to him repeat for countless hours, and still each time they somehow managed to make your heart a little bit happier. As he counted you through the breaths to see you through, his free hand brushed over your hair, ignoring the beads of sweat that had formed in your hairline as best as he possibly could, focusing on the task at hand and being the best possible husband instead.

“You’re doing so incredibly well,” he whispered as he noticed that the pain was beginning to subside once again, offering you the best possibly smile he could muster, hiding his own feelings of exhaustion that were beginning to come through. Your head nodded, tilting slightly to the left, biting down on your bottom lip until you were sure that the contraction had subsided. A small wriggle from your little one let you know they were done for the time being, waiting patiently, or impatiently, to make their grand entrance.

“You’re getting close now,” your midwife called out, stood in the doorway, keeping an eye on the corridor as she had done for most of the evening, and night. “I must admit, I’ve not seen many women get through labour as well as you have for quite some time Y/N.”

“I’m not really left with much of an alternative to get through it right now,” you sighed, throwing your body back against the bed, allowing the sweat ridden sheets to wrap around you. The end never seemed to quite be in sight, no matter how many times her cheery voice suggested otherwise. In fact, if Jisoo wasn’t quite such a sweetheart, you’d have probably given her what for a long time ago with all of her reassurances.

“She’s a strong girl, I always told you that,” Jungkook whispered from the side of you, grinning proudly across at the elder woman. “So strong I think I might end up having to take up one of your beds soon with a couple of broken knuckles, are women supposed to squeeze this hard when they’re in labour?”

Jisoo’s head nodded, having told you about her four kids several times throughout the night, she had experience on both sides. She’d seen it all, broken hands, broken noses, but best of all, hundreds of humans enter the world.  

“Y/N you do what you want, ignore your husband,” she teased.

Once again, your head could only manage a nod, too consumed by the everchanging feelings that were going on around your bump to truly pay much attention to what was being said around you. The beep of the heart monitor, murmurs of passers-by, shrieks of other women in the ward all seemed to amalgamate into one at this point.

“I don’t think we’ll have to wait around much longer for baby to arrive,” she advised the two of you, “but things are only going to get worse, are you sure that I can’t get you anything?”

“No,” you muttered, despite a concerned Jungkook looking down at your tired figure, “I said that I was going to try and do this naturally, and until I can’t take it anymore, that’s what I’m going to do.”

“No one would think any less of you if you wanted an epidural,” Jungkook reminded you, moving his hand back across to rest over your now much calmer one. “Or maybe gas if you’re not feeling a needle? We saw it on that programme, remember?”

“We spent an hour laughing at a woman too high to even push,” you scolded, shaking your head at the memory. It had tickled you at the time, but the more you thought about not being able to remember your baby’s birth like she had, the more off-putting it became.

“It’s all here just in case,” Jisoo spoke up anyway, pointing across to a small table that was at the back of the delivery room, “too many women change their minds last minute and then we have to leap into action with it all.”

“I bet you might end up having another case like that, she’s a stubborn one,” Jungkook joked.

“Excuse me, I’ll have you- “

You were cut off by another pain stabbing against your side, hurling your body forwards, instantly gripping tighter onto Jungkook’s hand, causing him to yelp. He sat further up in his seat, throwing his free arm around your back, tracing circles against the exposed bit of skin your hospital gown showed off. Your body didn’t have much time to react, snapping your eyes around to look at Jungkook, searching for any bit of help he could offer. Instead, he could only stare helplessly back at you, there was nothing that he could do to truly take away your pain, nothing that would make the experience better for you in that moment, instead all he could promise was to be the best possible father and husband once your little girl eventually decided to come into the world.

As the pain fell aside once again, you leant across to rest against Jungkook’s shoulder, soaking his grey tee, not that he minded, pressing a kiss against the top of your head.

“So strong,” he whispered against your skin, as he had done tens, if not hundreds of times since your water broke in the very early hours of the previous day.

“I feel so weak,” you hummed in response to him, loosening your grip against his hand once again, holding onto only his index finger, admiring the tattoos that he wore so proudly. “I always thought I was strong Kook, but even this might be too much for me.”

His head shook instantly at your words, searching across to Jisoo for a small piece of reassurance that could remind you how good of a job you were doing in delivering your miracle.

“Soon,” her voice called out, although it wasn’t much, it was a small bit of hope that you could hold onto that your ordeal would be done soon. You adored Jungkook, but the calls of the professional who had taken such good care of you made you feel a lot better in an instant.

“Soon,” Jungkook reiterated, tightening the hold that he had around your waist, inviting you to relax into his side as opposed to the bed that you’d been on for hours. “This will all be worth it; you just have to remember that through the hard times.”

Another hum came from you, tracing aimlessly against his calloused skin. “I wish it was as easy for me to believe that as it is for you to say it right now.”

“Y/N,” he whispered, kissing against your forehead once again, “please don’t start giving up on any of this right now.”

“I’m just tired,” you whined, fighting the urge to give your eyes even a second to close out of fear of what might happen if you did. “Every part of me is so tired right now.”

“I get it,” Jungkook assured you, refusing to let you go through the fight alone, “I can’t even begin to imagine how hard this is for you right now my love.”

“Are you sure it’s too late for us to swap positions?” You joked, trying to remove the negativity that ran through your mind, “I think you’d love to be in labour secretly.”

“You know I would if I could, in a heartbeat,” he sniggered, raising his free hand up innocently, “it’s just such a shame that you’re the one that’s got to go through this. Trust me though, it’s not easy being a spectator, seeing you in so much pain is breaking my heart, I can only watch in awe of what an incredible woman you are.”

“You’ve got a good one there, Y/N,” Jisoo called out as she busied herself in the room, paperwork in hand, unable to stop herself tuning into your conversation. “You’d be surprised how many husbands sit back and relax during a time like this.”

“See, you’ve got a good one,” Jungkook continued to joke, tapping lightly against your arm, “can I get that in writing to remind her of this when this is all over?”

“I can change my mind,” Jisoo responded, drawing a light giggle out of you as the two of them continued to exchange innocent threats for a few minutes, until you chose to interrupt.

The mood of the room instantly turned sombre as a loud groan came from you, leaning forwards once again, breathing under the command of your husband. Whilst Jisoo continued to notice how much quicker your contractions came, Jungkook was solely focused on you, counting each time, resting his hands where you needed them, offering his shoulder back for you to rest on as soon as the contraction finished once again.

“I think I’ve decided something,” you whispered across to Jungkook once you’d caught your breath, “we are definitely only having the one child.”

“But I thought we agreed on an army,” he smirked, earning himself a slap against the bicep from you, although with your strength, the strike was pretty weak, even by your own high standards. Still, Jungkook grabbed at his arm, gasping at the sudden strength that had come over you. “Jisoo will tell you, I bet loads of women say that, but once they remember how sexy their husbands are, a quick trip to the bedroom, and suddenly baby number two comes along.”

“Have you ever met a man who makes sex sound so unappealing?” You asked Jisoo before she even had the time to respond to Jungkook’s comment. “It’s rather confident of you to assume that you’re that sexy anyway.”

Rather than answer either of you, Jisoo made her way across to you, asking Jungkook to give the two of you a bit of space as she checked how far dilated you were. You’d counted down almost every single centimetre, as if your little girl enjoyed teasing you before she was even a part of your world. Each time you hoped for the magic number, but each time Jisoo had muttered something else. You’d almost lost onto your last stretch of hope, that was until you looked across, noticing a wry smile etched across her face.

Before she even said the words, you knew exactly what the smile meant. As if your contractions hadn’t made things obvious enough, the expression on her face was the final touch you needed to know that at last that end was somewhat in sight. Once she called Jungkook back across to your side, his eyes locked with yours, the corners of his mouth turning up into a smile, extending his arm out for your hand to intertwine with his. The relief was clear on your face, and in your hold, your body was in turmoil, but now it seemed as if you could finally begin to settle.

You were all too aware that there was a long road ahead of you, but just the thought of pushing appealed to your body and every part of you that was crying out for a rest.

“Ten centimetres,” Jungkook whispered beside you, “I bet that feels pretty good.”

“It feels pretty good,” you smirked, keeping your eyes on him as he sat back down in the chair at your bedside. “I had no idea the body could stretch as big as this, it’s surreal.”

Although he hadn’t taken too close of a look at everything that was going on at the foot of your bed, Jungkook had done enough research to know just how your body was changing. From the very first sign of a bump, Jungkook had waited impatiently for the moment that he finally got to see your little girl come into the world, the final change that would complete what the two of you had dreamt of for so many months.

“I love you,” his voice then whispered, just as your eyes looked away from his and down to your bump, “and our baby, I love our baby too.”

“I love you too,” you smiled, quickly looking back at him, “our little one is the luckiest girl in the world to have you.”

What came over the next few minutes felt like a blur to you, several instructions were sent your way, your body reshuffled with your legs propped up, pillows placed behind your back, and a towel dabbed against your head, but one thing remained, the hold of Jungkook’s hand tightly against yours, refusing to leave your side as the first few pushes began.

“This is ridiculous,” you huffed, just after the first few. You’d hoped for some sort of immediate impact, but your baby made no sign of movement instead. If you hadn’t spent hours laid in the hospital bed, you would have given up there and then, but there was one man that was never going to let you do that.

“Patience,” was all that Jungkook had to say, desperate to try and calm you down as he noticed how flustered you became. His hands pressed against your red cheeks before wiping underneath your watery eyes, failing to withhold the pressures that were placed before you.

Whilst labour was never something you expected to be a walk in the park, you could never have prepared yourself for the overwhelming feelings of pain that you’d end up enduring throughout your labour.

“If I push one more time, my body is going to cave,” you admitted, leaning against the cold metal of the rail against the bed. Jungkook’s head instantly shook, moving his arm around you to pick you back up, holding your back against the palm of his large hand.

“You’re far too strong to give up now,” he smiled, standing up from his chair to press a kiss against the side of your head, “there’s still pain relief if you want it, no one is going to think any less of you if that’s what you choose to do,” he reminded you once again, but still your head shook, you’d had plans for how your labour was going to go, and a natural birth was always top of your list of things that you wanted to see through. “Just hold my hand, and don’t break any of my bones and I promise that we’ll get through this together.”

Your eyes rolled at his warning, pinching especially hard against his hand to keep him on his toes, and make sure that he kept his mouth shut too.

“I’m only messing with you,” he whimpered, shaking at your hand for you to loosen your grip around him. “Just try and keep positive babe, we’ve jumped over too many hurdles over the past day to give up now. This one might just be a little bit bigger, but I know more than anything else in the world that you’re going to get over it.”

Your eyelids slowly fluttered shut, letting go of a shaky breath in the hope that it would keep you so composed. Rather than focus on the pain that came from your bump, your mind focused on the traces that Jungkook ran along the back of your hand, just like you’d done against his only a couple of hours ago.

“I just want to hold her and be done with this,” you continued to vent, opening your eyes back up, flinching slightly at the bright lights that came from all four corners of the room you’d somehow ended up calling home.

“I mean it when I say not much longer this time,” Jisoo smiled from the foot of the bed, perched on a stool, keeping a close eye on proceedings. “It’s natural to feel like you want to throw in the towel, there’s often a bit of a wait between dilation and pushing, not feeling anything can sometimes feel worse than the pain of a contraction.”

“You’re spot on,” you responded, forcing the smallest of smiles to your face, hearing a gentle giggle come from Jungkook. “At least the pain let me know that she was definitely moving.”

As if on cue, your baby began to make her presence known again, with Jungkook rising to his feet once again when he noticed how quickly you shot forwards. His arm reached out across your chest to stop you moving too far forwards, just as Jisoo had advised.

Something about this contraction just felt different for you though, as if your little girl was giving you a sign that she really was on her way. Although you couldn’t feel her drop, the pain certainly did. The smile on your face instantly captured Jungkook’s attention, unsure if he should worry, or be pleased to see a sign of happiness in your expression.

“I can feel her,” you whispered across to him before he even had the chance to ask, “it’s like she’s letting me know she’s on her way Kook.”

“That’s a good thing, right?” He anxiously queried, looking across to Jisoo who’s head nodded. “She really is on her way, our little girl.”

“Our little girl,” you repeated, feeling his hands press to either side of your face, just managing to press the softest of kisses against your puckered lips before another contraction hit. His left arm instantly moved around your waist as his right hand held onto yours, it had become second nature for Jungkook now to step each time that your body called out for him, a murmur of his name was all that he needed to know exactly what you wanted from him, and as another contraction passed, he was relieved when he could sit back down again.

As soon as it passed, both you and Jungkook stared across to Jisoo, desperate for any sort of update she had on how things were going.

“Just keep doing what you’re doing,” she assured you, “plenty of pushes coming up Y/N.”

“R-really?”

“Hey,” a deep voice whispered beside you, brushing his thumb back across the pad of your hand, drawing your eyes across to him with the sound of your voice. “It’s going to be alright, we’ve talked about all of this, the two of us are here, and very soon our little girl will be here soon, remember why you’re doing this Y/N.”

“Pushing feels so real,” you slightly chuckled, feeling the beat of your heart quicken in your chest, “are you sure it’s really time to push?”

“Absolutely,” a cheery Jisoo smiled from the foot of the bed, repositioning your legs slightly so that you were a little more stretched out. “When the next contraction comes, I want you to take a big deep breath, and then lots of little pushes, let your body guide you rather than you guide your body. Listen to my voice, and most of all, listen to Jungkook too, he sounds like he has all the right things to say to you.”

“That’s exactly how we got into this position,” you sighed, shooting a glare in his direction.

“Unfortunately, it’s exactly how you’re going to get out of this position too,” Jisoo grinned, shaking her head as Jungkook leaned forwards to try and give her a high five. “Just support your wife,” she smiled, “I’ve spent less then a day with this guy and I’m struggling to see how you’ve managed to put up with him for so many years.”

“Don’t make me regret it,” you called out, just as another contraction came. The mutters of ‘push,’ that came from both of the people beside you instantly set your body in motion, clutching tightly onto the rail, and Jungkook’s hand as you tried to push down as best as you could, grimacing at the pain.

By the time the contraction had passed, you could feel how quickly your bottom lip was beginning to swell, pouting across at Jungkook, who was unable to hide his surprise when he noticed how red your lip was.

“Still beautiful,” he complimented, leaning forwards once again to press a kiss against the reddened skin, “and so strong too. Who knew I managed to marry such a strong woman?” He questioned, receiving no answer from either of you. It came as little surprise to him, instead he grabbed the towel that was beside him and dabbed it gently over your forehead, and your lip too, trying to make the swelling as minimal as possible before you bit down again.

As another contraction soon came around, you couldn’t quite get your head around at how surreal it was suddenly all becoming. You’d sat with your little girl nested in your tummy for two days short of nine months, and now you could slowly feel her making her way down to enter the world. All of the fears and the doubts that you’d had about labour had been torn apart, your dreams had been blown so far out of proportion, no part of what you were doing felt real anymore. But for the two of you, it felt like the best, and worst, experience in the world, the pain had been hard, but slowly it was beginning to feel as if it was worth it for you both.

When the next contraction came around, the sound of Jisoo’s voice stopped you from biting down on your bottom lip, feeling her hand move a little further up your leg, carefully pushing your legs a little further apart, surprising even you by how flexible you suddenly were.

“I can feel something,” you nervously whispered, looking across to Jungkook who was trying to get the best look he could at what was going on from beside you.

“No need to worry,” Jisoo instantly replied to you, “but I can definitely see the first signs of your little girl.”

“Really?” You chuckled, feeling Jungkook’s head turn to look back across at you. His eyes looked at you for permission, as your head slowly nodded, encouraging him to stand up from his seat and walk across, peering over your leg to where the first sightings of your little one’s head could be seen. A quiet gasp came from Jungkook, squeezing gently against your hand, feeling his eyes watering at the sight before him.

“She already looks beautiful,” he whispered up to you, “I can’t believe she’s all ours Y/N.”

“I wish I could see,” you chuckled, trying your hardest to look past your bump, but failing with ease. You couldn’t help but laugh, remembering all the times you’d failed to see your feet, or bend down to change your shoes, only now, at the most important time, your bump had stopped you from getting your first glimpse of your little girl. A small part of you couldn’t help but be slightly envious that Jungkook had such a clear view from beside you of everything that was going on.

However, as soon as your next contraction hit, Jungkook’s attentions were turned straight back to you, sitting back down in a heartbeat as more encouraging whispers came from him. He’d never told you how proud and how in love he was with you than he had done today, but he also knew he could never love you more than the moment you brought his child into the world.

The late nights, early mornings, and everything that came in between during your pregnancy had been hard on you both, but everything that you needed from Jungkook, he did with a smile. He could never appreciate enough how incredible your body was to carry his little girl, to nurture her so perfectly and give her such good health. There was simply never going to be enough that he could do to repay you for everything that you’d given him over the last nine months, and for the rest of his life too.

“Y/N, keep pushing!” Jisoo’s voice called out, snapping you out of the small daydream that you found yourself in. By the sound of her voice, you knew that something significant was happening, with adrenaline the only thing keeping you going, you did as she said, pushing as hard as you could, paying close attention to the sound of Jungkook’s voice, the only thing that had kept you going through out.

“She’s coming,” he whispered, flickering his eyes between you and your baby, noticing how quickly she seemed to be arriving. Your head nodded, repeating his words over and over again in your head, the only boost of motivation that you needed to dig in to somewhere you didn’t know you had, using up every last ounce of energy that you possibly could.

“Kook,” you whimpered, as you felt the contraction begin to collapse again.

“Just one more,” Jisoo then called out.

“You can do it,” he urged, leaning closer in towards you.

Although your head shook, your body still pushed, and soon the cries of your little girl could be heard ringing throughout the room, as tears fell from both yours and Jungkook’s eyes, feeling his hand slip out of yours so that you could collapse down against the bed.

“I love you, you’re incredible,” he chimed, giving you a moment before leaning over you, brushing the hair out of your face, coupled with a lingering kiss against your forehead, ignoring the droplets of tears that fell from his cheeks against your own. “She’s here Y/N.”

In just a matter of moments, Jungkook moves away from your side, replaced with your little girl settling against your bare chest, with Jisoo dabbing away at her to remove the markings of blood, stretching out of her limbs and making sure to clear out her airways.

As your eyes looked down at her for the very first time, your breath was taken by what was before you. “Wow,” was all you could whisper as you studied every fine detail of the bundle you held tightly against your chest. “Look at you,” you soon added, sniffling back the tears that fell.

Jungkook’s hand reached across, wiping underneath your eyes, perching himself on the end of his bed. He used the tip of his thumb to trace over the top of her head, feeling along her arms, staring in awe of how tiny each digit of her hand was. Neither of you could look away from her, all expectation you had had been succeeded, unable to comprehend what you had just endured.

“Our little girl,” Jungkook whispered, leaving a kiss against the top of your head with his words. It had been the saying you’d had for her since the moment you found out it was a girl that you were expecting, and yet somehow neither of you could correlate that the little girl you’d wished for was finally in front of you both.

“Congratulations,” Jisoo spoke after a few moments, scribbling down on some papers attached to her clipboard. “I’ll give you both a second to adjust, you’re new parents after all.”

“We’re parents,” Jungkook muttered in a moment of disbelief, continuing to stare wide-eyed at your daughter, silently reiterating the promises he’d made to her most nights when he laid beside your bump, trying to help you get to sleep. Although she was still attached to you for a moment through the umbilical cord, his body was itching to get his first hold of his little girl, feel the body and the heart he was going to protect for the rest of his life. “Thank you,” he whispered across to you once he finally looked away from her, “it’s never going to be enough, but thank you for being so strong, and for being the best wife, and mum in the world.”

“How can you say that when I’ve only been a mum for five minutes?” You teased, bringing a smile to Jungkook’s face. His eyes rolled at the chuckle that followed your question, knowing if it wasn’t for your little one, he’d be attacking your side in an instant.

“I just know, call it instinct,” he assured you, “and I’m going to make sure that this little girl knows what a special mummy she’s got to. I’ll never let her take you for granted, just like I never will, ever again. I’m in your debt forever, nothing can make up for all of this.”

“You know, we can’t call her our little girl forever,” you hummed, noticing how quickly Jungkook’s eyes lit up at the mention of her name. Several had been exchanged between the two of you, and yet one always seemed to stand out to you both, almost as if it was just meant to be, her name was her destiny.

“Is it still the one that you want?” Jungkook asked, making sure you didn’t have any doubts.

“Just looking at her, she suits it,” you hummed, taking any excuse that you could to get a glance of your daughter. “Don’t you think, it’s perfect for her?”

Jungkook’s head nodded, leaning across your body to press a gentle kiss to the top of her head, treating her as if she was the most delicate thing in the world. As her name fell from his lips for the very first time, Jungkook knew you were right, it was perfect for her, and the perfect name to complete your family too.

“Can you believe we have her forever?” You asked him, brushing your thumb over the top of her head, “we don’t ever have to give this one back, or keep her only for a night. We never have to let her go, she’s ours, always.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever believe that I’ve been so blessed with the two of you,” he giggled in his confession, “every day, my little girl, and my incredible wife, I will love you.”

“She’ll have you wrapped around her finger in no time, I bet,” you laughed, “if she’s anything like you, we might as well enjoy the peace and quiet for now, because she’ll be causing trouble in no time.”

“I hope she takes after you,” Jungkook acknowledged, staring back at you, “everyone will fall in love with her, just like I did with you.”

“Do you still love me after I almost broke your hand?” You teased, staring across at his still slightly reddened hand.

“Y/N, I have never loved you more than I do right now, and I’ll love you more and more every day. You’ve given me the greatest gift, love just isn’t enough.”

“We love you too,” you smiled across to him, feeling his lips peck against yours.

“I’ll never tire of hearing that.”

---

Masterlist

[peralta-guaranteed]

What abkut mafia!jake au

Stop giving me awesome AU ideas that I cannot write the fic for! 😭

- due to some really, really bad choices after high school (did he ever make other ones? who knows), Jake Peralta has ended up as a grunt for the Ianucci family. He doesn’t really do much - he’s mostly someone who gathers information and new areas for them to work in, because he’s good at randomly befriending people and milking them for all it’s worth. He’s done a few ‘deliveries’, too, but has never had to really get physical.

- (he was at one family meeting that turned into the ‘farewell’ of a mistrusted member and he still has nightmares about it)

- he’s never been arrested for anything and thought the police didn’t even know his name, so imagine his surprise when he’s approached by one of their higher-ups (as if he knows the rankings, psh, pigs are all the same) and subtly but definitely asked if he would be willing to work with them

- his task seems simple: bring one of their cops into the family undercover, the same way he has ‘recruited’ several bodega owners and other ‘low-skill’ workers that turned out to be useful for the family. Maybe keep an eye on the cop as well and help her out if she’s struggling

- she? oh yeah, it’s a woman. A frankly gorgeous woman, he realises when they meet up with her and some FBI dude who obviously pretends he’s not FBI, to discuss it all further. Her name is ‘Dora’, and he knows that’s a lie from the second she’s introduced, but the less he knows, probably the better. The rules are set, he gets a special cellphone number of a ‘cousin’ to contact if something goes wrong, and two weeks later Dora Perez is steadily working her way up the ranks with the Ianuccis, who are very proud of Jake for bringing in this brilliant new talent.

- He might or might not be looking out for her a little bit too much. He might or might not get involved in far more shady dealings with the Iannuccis so he can work closer with her. He might or might not be in deep, deep shit.

- ‘Dora’ is grateful for it, though, he learns every time he drives her home after a more difficult job. She used to be withdrawn and quiet with him, which he tried to equalise by cracking more and more stupid jokes and doing random silly stuff during their drives, but then one time they drive in absolute silence while she cleans blood of her hands, and he says something, he doesn’t remember what, but it’s the right thing apparently, because she starts to talk. She talks to him during every ride after, telling him about the stress and the constant guard she has to keep up and how none of her research binders prepared her for this, and at some point she tells him about nightmares and seeing death around every corner and she can’t wait for this mission to be over.

- (for her sake, he can’t wait for that either. For his sake, he wishes it would go on forever.)

- They’re sent out for a big job together once, because Jake has already become ‘connected’ to Amy in the Ianuccis’ eyes, and they both end up with blood on their hands, and some of it is hers.

- he gets out of the car after that drive home, and gets up to her tiny, fake apartment, and helps her clean the wounds (nothing too big, just cuts, because thank god that guy only had a knife before he beat it out of his hands and then beat the living daylight out of him after he injured her) with the softest fingers she’s ever felt. Then the cleaning alcohol is swapped for drinkable stuff, and they talk, and they talk about everything and nothing, about how a dead-beat dad and an absent mother make a Mafia goon, and how family pressure and a sense of constant duty make a detective who so badly wanted to say no to this assignment but couldn’t.

- “For what it’s worth, Dora, I’m glad you said yes. I mean, not that- not that I want you to do this kind of work- and I want things to be over for you soon, because- but- I’m glad it’s you.” “Amy.” “Hm?” “My name is Amy. Amy Santiago.”

- He wakes up in her bed the next morning, with her in his arms, and he kind of doesn’t regret a single thing, even as his smart-brain is screaming at him. He’s pretty sure he would’ve willingly died for her even before this night, but now, he realises... that he probably will.

- Amy (Amy, not Dora) does freak out a little more than he does when she wakes up. She can’t get involved, she says, this is a job, a dangerous one, and she has to focus on that job and getting the mafia gang and not- okay, okay, let’s not overthink this then, Jake says only to calm her down, we don’t do anything ‘involved’, we’re just... having fun. Keeping things light and breezy. Helping deal with the stress.

- and so, despite how much it hurts and how much it makes him happy at the same time, Jakey the Jew becomes Jakey, Dora’s Loverboy. It helps, he supposes, because it means the Ianuccis won’t suspect them hanging out so much, and send him along to most of her jobs now so he can watch out for her, and he gets to be with her in a way, even as she constantly reiterates ‘light and breezy’ to keep him at a distance no matter how close they get.

- it doesn’t feel very ‘light and breezy’ when they spend time together in front of the TV, though, to get their minds to relax after doing whatever the Ianuccis needed them doing. It doesn’t feel ‘light and breezy’ when they joke around in the bodega getting ice cream on a particularly hot day out doing jobs, or when she shows him around the library after meeting her ‘cousin’ there for a chat. It doesn’t feel ‘light and breezy’ at all when she sighs into his arms when he’s holding her in bed, neither of them even wanting to take the night any further than soft hands under tshirts, because all they really need at some point is the comfort of each other.

- and then one day, after a few months of this ‘light and breezy’ and ‘Dora’s Loverboy’, Jake gets invited for a ‘Talk’ by the family. With a capital T. And he’s not been that high up in the ranks at any point, and he’s not really done much for the family, but he’s not an idiot. He knows what that means. So of course he doesn’t tell Amy, writes her a short but succinct note instead that maybe ends with the L-word somewhere in it, and goes to have a Talk.

- The Ianuccis know that there is a rat, but they don’t know who. And they know that if Jakey is good for one thing, it’s information. So The Talk doesn’t end as quickly as it usually does, and the way he’d expected. It hurts a lot more, for one thing. Jake thinks of offering up some other goon or lower family member as the rat, if only to make the torture stop, but his brain is too broken in the moment to figure out a convincing story. And when the name ‘Perez’ suddenly drops into the conversation, there’s really only one other name he can still think of clearly to blame. Peralta.

- he doesn’t remember much after that - he’s pretty sure he heard gunshots, but none of them hit him, so what’s the deal with that? Everything else is pretty much a blur of pain and cold, and lots of shouting, and then warm soft hands on his face and a quiet voice saying his name amidst it all, and when he wakes up the next time he’s in a hospital bed.

- He’s in that hospital bed for two weeks to recover, and no one visits him. Not that it should be surprising - Nana is dead, his mom doesn’t know about anything he’s done since the age of 18 for a reason, and there’s no one else who in their right mind should care to visit him. So imagine his surprise when a detective shows up, introduces herself as Rosa Diaz, and explains that she’s Amy’s partner at work, but she’s not here for official business.

- “She wanted to come see you. Hell, she fought tooth and nail for it. But she had to be debriefed, stupid FBI assholes, and then it turned out two of the Ianuccis got away, so we had to find them first to make sure they don’t go after her for revenge” (well that explains the constant patrols in the hospital for him, as well) “and we had to hide her for her safety, but, Jake, she wanted to come see you. I swear.” “It’s okay.” Jake says, and it’s really not, but he’s been a brilliant liar for years now. “You can tell her... it’s okay. The job is done, and I’m, I’m glad she’s finally got it over and past her. Really. Tell her it’s okay.”

- He’s debriefed by the FBI after he gets discharged, as well. They tell him ‘good job’ and ‘thanks’ and pay him a surprisingly large amount of money and cover his hospital bills, so that’s good. They also advise that he move, not far, but far enough that any possible leftover scragglers of the family don’t remember his old place for a ‘visit’. So he moves, a few blocks only, enough to get a new favourite bodega and deli and discover that the library is actually nearby and that there’s this community college that Amy kept talking about for some reason, and if he takes a few classes to finally get a degree, it’s not about getting a proper job at some point, it’s more about not thinking about anything else. About maybe forgetting, even if it was her that basically got him where he is now.

- (it does not work)

- she knocks on his door a month later. She looks strange in her professional outfit instead of washed out jeans and a tanktop with a stupid slogan on it, but also so perfectly her. That’s Amy, he thinks, not Dora anymore. That’s Amy, and he still loves her just as much as he did when she was ‘Dora’ in his sweatpants and tshirt. Maybe more.

- “You’re a hard man to find, Peralta.” She says, and he knows that’s a lie, but she smiles with a scared look through it and he takes it for what it is - an attempt at saying anything, really, after 1 1/2 months of silence, when she’s probably got a speech all prepared in her head but needs to get there first. “That’s such a bad, cheesy movie line.” He helps, and she laughs and yeah, that’s all he needs in life. “Well we never watched any good movies, did we.” “Hey, we watched Die Hard. That’s the best movie there is.” She rolls her eyes but nods, and opens her mouth, and Jake thinks that the speech is coming now, but he has no idea what it might entail. Thank you and good bye, maybe. Good job, great work, can you sign this official statement for me so I can add it to my paperwork? possibly. “Screw light and breezy.” She says instead, and then she’s in his new apartment, which is much nicer and cleaner than the old place was even after she worked her magic on it, and she’s kissing him, and he’s never, ever letting her out.

[shoichee]

hi ! <3 I Absolutely luv your scenarios!:) Can I request for the pregnant s/o scenario with Midorima & Murasakibara ? :o Thank you :D

HELLO <333 wahhh tysm for reading, and i hope you’re still around lurking here to see this, my anon <33 also, i did write these in headcanon formats but please PLEASE let me know if you wanted scenarios and i’ll whip up scenarios :>

Pregnant S/O with Midorima, Murasakibara

Note: I am also writing this hc under the premise that the S/O has been dating with them for quite some time and is practically settled with them

Part 1 here

Midorima Shintarou

How He Found Out

i would believe for him to always, always use protection whenever he ends up having sex with you, and make sure you’re on birth control to prevent such an occurence

for a pregnancy to even happen, these conditions need to happen: 1.) he needs to be 100% sure that the two of you will be together for a very, VERY long time enough to not freak out about contraceptives or at least toy with the idea of not use any in the back of his mind and 2.) you somehow riled him up so much that he let it slide once/twice and go condom-free (whether you were on birth control or not that’s up to you, but he’d assume you were)

well, it turns out that during one of those rare moments of unprotected sex, you got pregnant, and now here you are with a positive stick in your hand squinting at it and scratching your head that you were either incredibly lucky or unlucky to get pregnant out of those few times you two went raw

how were you gonna tell him? well, he was a traditional man, so you simply set up a small, cute surprise for him when he gets back home

y’know, balloons in the living room and a little wrapped gift on the cleared table… it would send the message across… you think

hours passed and you were on the sofa twiddling your thumbs like a preschooler on timeout LOL and you didn’t want to go anywhere in case Midorima comes home early

your instincts were right because an hour later, he comes home utterly exhausted, immediately thinking about being roundabout in asking to snuggle with you

but then he freezes when his shoe stepped and POPPED one of the balloons you scattered around prior, and it scared him SHITLESS

he almost dropped his lucky claypot. almost.

“(y/n), what is going on?!”

he thinks it’s one of your antics and pranks as usual, and he immediately sighs exasperatedly at the thought of cleaning the mess up

“Seriously, I can never leave you alone in this house, nanodayo…” and as he shuffles through the floor, trying to avoid the rest of the clutter you caused, he notices you sitting primly on the couch (and giving him a poorly-concealed smile)

“Shintaro! I didn’t know you’d come home so soon~”

“Well, everyone was being annoying as usual, and most of the work has been done for today. I might as well come home to spend the rest of the day with you… obviously.”

you were so obvious, your eyes flitting back to the gift on the table and back to him, and Midorima doesn’t know whether to roll his eyes or laugh

“I’m assuming this is all for me,” he sighed, trying to hide his smile. “I don’t recall any special occasion for today, though.”

oh, your face just grew the biggest shit-eating grin at his words

“Is that so?~” you feigned with a sing-song voice

at your insistence on him opening the present right now, he swiftly pulls the ribbon apart and opens the box to see your positive test

MIDORIMA.EXE has stopped working

“W-W-W-What is that?!”

“A pregnancy test.”

“Whose?!”

“... Mine?”

“Wait, how?! With who??”

“Uh…” You stared at him incredulously. “You?”

MIDORIMA.EXE is failing to reboot

you were pointing at yourself and Midorima to further try to get the POINT ACROSS to this poor man who’s trying to process this OFBEJDIWHRIE

but you stopped your hand motions when you see the purest smile slowly growing on Midorima’s normally stoic face

YOU.EXE has stopped working

he brings you into a tight embrace and for a while you two hug in silence, enjoying each other’s company

“So uh, I’m pregnant,” you said, your words slightly muffled by his shirt

“Yes, I am quite well aware now,” he replied dryly, but his eyes are quite affectionate

“I hope you realize that this is a huge responsibility, (y/n).”

“Hey! I know that it’s a big deal! Come on, who do you take me for?”

“... Right.”

During Pregnancy

the first thing he does was take you to the doctor’s just to find out when you were going to deliver

“What? Why?” you asked him

“I must know our child’s horoscope sign as soon as possible,” he said seriously. “We have to make sure they’re born with no misfortunes attached to them.”

“Are you fucking serious?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

MIDORIMA PLEASE-

okay, but he’d also ask the doctor diligently on what you should be doing and what he should be doing to ensure a successful delivery

Midorima is deadass budget-version doctor at home

it’s that one meme where you go:

“Hey mom can we have a doctor?”

Mom: “We already have a doctor at home.”

Doctor at home: Midorima Shintarou

JOKES aside, he really is knowledgeable on this entire ordeal, which is a blessing and a curse

you could always come to him to rely on him when you’re unsure of something or for him to deal with your moodiness

but at the same time, you can’t get away with snacking on abhorrent things because he’d SNATCH them off your hands and scold you for being irresponsible LOLOL

you could NEVER sneak off unhealthy food because he’s ALWAYS somehow there to catch you or he eventually finds out later and still give you an earful

you still try to do it again anyways

then there’s that side of Midorima where he’d stuff the entire house with bundles of lucky items because he insists on buying two lucky items for you and the kid every day during your pregnancy… all so you can “maximize” your chances of having a successful delivery

you’re sobBING, it’s so CUTE BUT SO DUMB

did I mention that he’s already started on building the nursery and decorating it in ALL sorts of lucky charms and adorable plushies under the guise of “being safe and making the room lucky”

he rarely lets you step out of the house, but if you have to, he’ll always make the time for you so he can accompany you and just glower at anyone who looks at you the wrong way

surprisingly, he’s a lot more lenient on the PDA during your pregnancy: LOTS of hand-holding, chaste kisses on your head/forehead and maybe cheeks, and he does often hug you from the side to protect you

if you bring it up to him though, he’ll deny it to the VERY end and insists that he only does it so you don’t get moody and snap at random strangers passing by, and then it’ll be a hassle to deal with them

yeah right, Midorima

Murasakibara Atsushi

How He Found Out

when you first found out, you decided to hide it from him until you can figure out how to go about your pregnancy

1.) he didn’t seem like the type who can handle kids, let alone even like them

2.) you’re worried about how he’d react considering that he has a “devil-may-care” attitude and has quite a languid view on most things, even to this day

you underestimated Murasakibara though because when you first initially excused yourself to the restroom the first few times, he assumed that you were having too many sweets and barred you from consuming them until you got better

but you didn’t… in fact, you looked even sicker as the days progressed

that was when Murasakibara got suspicious and started paying attention to you and your behavior

when he gets serious, he’s incredibly sharp and intuitive

even still, he doesn’t know if he should confront you or wait until you tell him, because you’ve always been the “big pants” in the relationship, for lack of better terms

so he waits and observes, but he still acts just as normally as any other day, and you, on the other hand, thought you were able to successfully hide this from him

still, when you keep up this sneaky behavior around him, he slowly doubts himself about if he did anything wrong, if he forgot anything important, or if you’re doubting this relationship ???

but he’s not going to admit it to you, so he’s going to casually call Himuro and voice his concerns in such a roundabout way

Himuro immediately understands what he’s trying to ask and simply tells him to talk it out with you

ofc, Murasakibara just huffs and complains about it being so troublesome, but Himuro, smiles, knowing him better that he was going to do it despite his verbal complaints

when asking you if he did anything “wrong” and such, you immediately shake your head and deny it all to ease his worries, and you tell him that it wasn’t anything like what he imagined

at your words, Murasakibara was relieved but at the same time, if these weren’t the problems, why were you acting so strange?

like when you kept oversleeping, kept rushing to the bathroom early mornings, or when you even turned down his offer of going to the grocery store, bakery, and the confectionery store together multiple times simply because you said that you didn’t have the energy

he finally confronted after a few weeks of dodging on your end, draping his entire body over you from behind and placing his chin on top of your head

“Chibi-chin…” he mumbled. “You’ve been acting really weird for the past few weeks. Talk to me.”

you only sighed as you turn around and embrace Murasakibara, and then separated from him to put distance between the two of you as you make eye contact with him

you resigned yourself to tell him the truth because he was going to find it sooner or later, considering that you’ve developed a small bump… so far, you’ve passed off your stomach size as a “food baby” and “gaining weight, I guess,” but you knew you couldn’t use that excuse forever

but before you can utter out a single word, dizziness hits you like a truck, making you completely lose balance before you legit fainted on the spot

poor Murasakibara expresses one of his rare moments of absolute distress as he lunged forward to catch you before you fell to the floor

he’s dialing Himuro because he has no idea what to do and he’s absolutely PANICKING and thinking of the worst-case scenarios of what happened to you

Murasakibara was READY TO CALL THE AMBULANCE AND EVERYTHING but Himuro managed to calm him down enough to reason that it’s better to bring you by car

after all, Himuro had an inkling of an idea of what happened to you, but like a little shit, he’s not gonna tell Murasakibara because seeing him so openly expressive like that was a guilty pleasure for him

POOR MURASAKIBARA

he’s constantly holding you in the car like his life is on the line, and Himuro is just driving and looking straight ahead mentally cackling and wondering how he’s gonna escape his wrath if Murasakibara ever finds out that he knew but didn’t tell him

imagine a distraught giant busting through the doors carrying an unconscious you with a model-like guy trailing behind and pushing the giant to the side to try to coherently talk to the disoriented receptionists

what a life

the doctor merely just says that you fainted and it wasn’t serious, and Murasakibara doesn’t believe them ONE BIT

but he notices Himuro walking over to the doctor’s ear and whispering something, before they had an “ah-ha!” moment, and then right on cue, they had you moved to a different room for testing

poor giant is so agitated, constantly shaking his leg on the floor while he’s sitting in the waiting room, jeez HIMURO PLEASE GIVE HIM A BREAK

“Congratulations! She’s pregnant!”

“Huh.”

“Aren’t you her special someone?”

“Indeed, Atsushi is!” Himuro answers for him with a wink

Murasakibara needs to p r o c e s s this

after a while, you groggily stroll out the room like nothing happened, but still you had a frown on your face because you didn’t want Murasakibara to find out about your pregnancy this way

the car ride home was so AWKWARDLY SILENT

when you both get home, he gets SO PETTY AND CHILDISH AND HUFFS AWAY AND REFUSES TO TALK TO YOU

you try to coax him with kisses, hugs, and tickles, but he’s not budging one bit

even snacks didn’t move him… even though he did eye them for a bit before he turned away

“Atsushiiii,” you whined. “Talk to meeee, I’m sorry.” and there you go pouting and trying to squish his cheeks to get him to give up

he looks at you with an uncharacteristically serious look when he asks, “Why didn’t you tell me, Chibi-chin?”

and here you are, reluctantly explaining your reasons, and Murasakibara is just frowning because he’s thinking about how he needs to get his shit together so you don’t ever think that you can’t rely on him again

lots of wholesome cuddling to make it all up to him

“So… Chibi-chin.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m… gonna be a dad?”

“Yeah.”

and he gives you the brightest smile he’s had since the game against the Jabberwocks, except it was much more intimate and sweeter

During Pregnancy

does Murasakibara have any idea on how to deal with pregnancy? no, but to be fair, most people aren’t prepared anyways

he keeps forgetting that he can’t just give you sweets and snacks willy-nilly anymore because that’d be horrible for the you and the child

but he’s always giving them to you out of habit LOL, but of course, usually you turn his snacks down and remind him that you can’t eat them anymore

except when you have ungodly cravings and just accept his offerings without a complaint

and then Murasakibara feels like something feels off before he realizes you’re tearing off the packaging and ready to shove the entire biscuit into your mouth—

from that point on, he’s a lot more diligent in keeping the processed foods away from you

whenever Himuro stops by to help you out, Murasakibara REFUSES to forget what he did before and he glares daggers at him with every chance he gets, and both you and Himuro ignore him and are having your own conversations about the child AND MURASAKIBARA JUST SULKS IN THE CORNER ALL ANGRY—

he’s so petty and he’s so pouty, and honestly he is the one that becomes clingy during your pregnancy

whenever you shop for baby essentials to prepare, he’s always tailing after you like a lost puppy and trying to learn and understand the baby basics(????), while also doubling as your bodyguard

I mean, who would want to mess with you while there’s a purple titan RIGHT there?

still, you get a huge kick when you see people’s shocked expressions at seeing this gigantic man in the baby sections/aisles following around

you noticed, especially during your later trimesters, that he’s even gentler in how he handles and touches you, and it’s super cute that he’s so conscious about his size and strength around you

your heart is LITERALLY melting

you don’t think he even realizes that himself

but still, Murasakibara has to literally grit his teeth to stop himself from glaring/snapping back at you when your mood swings get really bad

how much do you want to bet that Murasakibara makes you buy extra baby food just to try it?

he’d probably even make you taste test it with him

he says it’s so the baby can eat the best brands out there and doesn’t have to eat the shitty food, but you think that he’s just eating it for fun and you tell him not to spoil the baby so early like that

he leaves the decorations and actual planning up to you though, even though he’ll be right behind you as you do it… he just finds it tiring and too complex sometimes

if you send him on grocery errands and things like that, he’d actually get up and do it without a complaint

if it was all for you and his child’s sake, he’ll do anything… after all, it’s the least he can do to be a dependable father

[jpegjade]

Physical Therapy - Ch. 1 (Spencer)

WELCOME TO PHYSICAL THERAPY!! in honor of this bish starting physical therapy in real life (and missing it bc i can’t drive and my mom and i’s schedules not being synched on google calendar all the time) i’ve decided to write a fic about it. it will be a little series with a goal (yes, an end game) and it’ll be cute. some of it is based on actual things that happen and some is literally just the story. ENJOY.

gender: neutral

tw: nothing that i can think of

genre: fluff | angst

Description: After getting shot in the leg, spencer goes through physical therapy before he can get back in the field completely. What happens when he starts to fall for his physical therapy assistant? 

__________________

Two honks at 6am meant that it was time for Spencer to get going. Derek was downstairs, in the car, waiting on boy wonder to crutch his way out of the apartment complex. Derek wasn’t sure how to feel about this trip considering he missed his early morning run for this but he knew how nervous Spencer was for his evaluation today so he didn’t mind as much as he could have minded. 

Spencer was patiently waiting in a pair of very short shorts, mismatched socks, and running shoes. He threw on a t-shirt and looked in the mirror, noting how tired he looked. He hadn’t been sleeping well lately for some reason but he couldn’t be sure why. He combed out his hair one more time before he and his crutches headed to the elevators. 

“Ready, kid?” Derek said, opening the front door for Spencer like a world class chauffeur would if Spencer was a celebrity. 

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Spencer mumbled.

In truth, Spencer was more than ready to get started on his physical therapy journey. He wanted to get back in the field full time, adrenaline pumping, connecting with victims, walking again. He didn’t mind the assisted mobility but it was hard for him to know that the best he could do sometimes was stay back in the office or hang out in Garcia’s batcave. 

The car ride was filled with a comfortable silence between the two men. Derek was thinking about how he could make up his missed morning run by doing another type of high cardio workout while Spencer was just trying to figure out why it had to be him. He wouldn’t wish the frustration of his recovery process on anyone else on the team but the frustration of the recovery process just got to him on some days. Today was one of those days. 

Derek pulled up to the physical therapy clinic sooner than Spencer hoped. Part of that was because Derek was a very fast driver while the other part was because Spencer wasn’t paying attention for most of the drive. 

“You owe me one.” Derek said, completely joking. Well… Partially. That morning run was what kept him awake during the day, energizing him for work. 

“Do you want to come in?” Spencer said, looking down at his hands in his lap. 

Spencer’s hands were tapping his leg as he awaited Derek’s answer. He was nothing short of a nervous wreck on the inside. All he could think about was how much pain he would be in once the evaluation was over and the physical therapist had finished poking and prodding at his knee. He hated to think that it would be worse than everything else going on. Plus he still had to go to work today. 

“Sure, kid.” Derek said. 

Derek wasn’t going to sit in the car and do nothing the whole time so he might as well support his friend. 

Climbing out of the car, the boys slowly made it to the sliding glass doors of the physical therapy clinic. Much to Spencer’s surprise, it was nothing like he originally imagined it to be. Some part of him thought it would somewhat resemble the clinic where his mother resided but it was completely different. There were floor to ceiling walls for over half of the first floor building. High tech equipment was stationed everywhere from anti gravity treadmills to hand bike motors, medicine balls and so much more. Spencer stood in the doorway, leaning on his crutches, while he took everything in. There was so much light in the air, it was almost like the feeling of recovery was airy and not meant to bog him down. This was a strange feeling for him to comprehend...

“You coming, pretty boy?” Derek called, taking a break from chatting with the pretty receptionist. 

Spencer and his crutches walked over to the front desk and grabbed the paperwork that covered how much pain he was in today. He filled it out quickly, hoping to get everything over with sooner than later. He was already here so he might as well just finish everything quickly so he could get out of the place. 

When he finished writing everything down, he returned the paperwork to the receptionist who slipped him a piece of paper and pointed to Derek. Spencer already knew it was the receptionist’s personal phone number and he didn’t even need to look at the paper. Sitting down, Spencer handed Derek to a very confused Derek before it hit him what it was. Derek winked at the receptionist, who blushed before answering the phone. 

“Spencer?” A voice called his name shortly after he sat down. 

It was nice to know that here, he didn’t have to be a doctor. He was just another person healing. He didn’t have to be smart, he could just exist. 

“Good luck.” Derek said, noticing that Spencer’s hand was shaking in the slightest bit. 

“My name is Nora and I will be your lead physical therapist.” The woman said, walking Spencer to a vacant padded table. It reminded Spencer of the types of tables you lay on when you get a massage. 

He only got a massage once when Garcia got stood up on a couples’ massage date. He spent half of his part of the massage giving the masseuse facts about how their job could actually give them an infection from the amount of germs in the air and on the table. His delivery of facts caused the room to be incredibly uncomfortable and bleach the table very thoroughly. By the time he and the masseuse finished, only 5 minutes were left in the massage and Garcia was left horrified and amused at the same time. 

“Don’t worry. We bleach the tables every time someone finishes a session.” Nora said, noticing the look on Spencer’s face. Spencer visibly relaxed and sat on the table. 

“So, Spencer, tell me a little bit about yourself.” Nora followed up, pulling up a backless roller chair. 

“Well, I was on a case and the unsub, unknown subject, shot at a dad but it ended up hitting me in the leg instead and…” Spencer paused, looking at Nora’s amused face. 

“No, I mean tell me about you. Your hobbies, what you do for fun, things like that. I need to do a complete profile for you so I know how your quality of life has been affected and which exercises you can do at home so we aren’t pushing too fast.” Nora smiled at Spencer. 

“I work.” Spencer said in a matter-of-fact tone. He didn’t really have anything else to say. 

“Okay. So you’re a workaholic.” Nora wrote. She was about to ask a new question when you came quickly walking to Nora. 

Spencer was left dumbfounded. There seemed to be a halo of light radiating around you, making you glow. He knew it was the sun finally rising but his brain short circuited as he continued to gaze at you. 

“Hey Nora?” You said, looking down at your boss. “Mrs. Gillespi wants to know why you haven’t come back to check her form. She doesn’t trust me because, her words here, I ‘look like a child who doesn’t know their left foot from the color orange.’” 

“Sure. Here, you can take over Spencer’s evaluation.” She handed you her clipboard.

You looked at the detailed notes on the paper and then up at Spencer, who looked like one of the youngest people here. 

“It’s not often we get cute guys in this place. Other than Kyle. But Kyle’s an asshole who could almost be my dad.” You blurted, not realizing you said it outloud as soon as Nora left. 

You noticed that he started blushing and looking at his converse and you realized that you said something. You usually spoke your thoughts out loud but the people you worked with were used to it so no one bothered to say anything.

“What?” You asked, confused. 

“You called me cute.” Spencer said. “Which is fine. I don’t understand the appeal but I do believe that your blurting of what you perceive as a fact is a coping mechanism. It can also be tied to ADHD, which is a common mental disorder that causes your brain to impulsively say things.” Spencer paused, looking at your face. 

“What?” You asked, again, confused. 

“I’m not saying you have ADHD. I’m a doctor but not that kind of doctor. Although I could get another Ph. D. Prove my father wrong. And…” Spencer realized he was rambling. 

“Cute and a talker.” You said, writing that down. 

You wrote something down on the paper that Spencer couldn’t see but he was curious about. 

“Let’s check out that leg.” You said, pulling out an instrument that looked like a compass. 

You asked Spencer to move his knee certain ways and it wasn’t as bad as Spencer thought. You were gentle, soft even. Your hands were delicate and you ended the session massaging his leg and smiling at him. 

“You were a good patient today, doctor Spencer.” You said, smiling at him. 

Spencer blushed, unable to meet your eyes. 

“You… I mean… I enjoyed our session.” Spencer said. “Which I don’t normally enjoy. Not that I’ve been shot before. Or had physical therapy. Or been here. Or even worked out really.”

“You’re funny, doc.” You smiled. “Your next appointment is Tuesday of next week according to the schedule so I guess I’ll see you then. I can’t wait.” 

Spencer stared at you as he wondered why you were so excited. 

“Why?” Spencer asked. 

“It’s not every day I get the case for a cute guy who is smart and awkward. It’s almost like the heavens have answered my hopes and prayers.” You joked, looking up at the ceiling and putting your hand on your heart. 

“I believe in science.” Spencer stated, grabbing his crutches. 

“A man of science. Does it get any better? What’s your star sign?” You joked. 

“Scorpio.” Spencer stated. 

“Oop. All the scorpios I know have been some hoes. You better not be a hoe, doc.” 

“I’m definitely not a gardening tool, if that’s what you’re referring to. Otherwise, I’d like to thing my lack of dating skills doesn’t qualify as being a… hoe? Although, I don’t believe in the use of the word to describe someone who enjoys spending time with multiple people. I’d like to think the use of the word is meant in jest and fun for a term of endearment.” Spencer stood up, balancing on his crutches. 

“I’ll be the judge of that.” You said, walking slowly with Spencer to the front desk. 

“What’s your name?” Spencer asked, turning to you. He realized that he never got your name.

“Y/n.” You smiled. 

The clouds must have parted again because as soon as you turned to walk away from him, towards Nora, you were covered in another halo. And just like that, you were gone again.

_____________________

Future tag list: 

@ellvswriting @sageandberries-png @l0ve-0f-my-life @rexorangecouny @kennedywxlsh

Want to be added? Tell me!

[omniswords]

Chronicles of a Parisian Dumbass 13

hey y'all. happy update. sorry i've been so quiet like... literally everywhere. it's been, a lot lately, as you can imagine. i'm doing my best on my end and i hope you are too. i'm coming back to things. slowly.

if you like, come give me a follow over on twitter where i’m more active, or on twitch where i’ve started streaming. (username is omnistruck for both, but i was afraid that linking would nix the post from the tags ;;)

hang in there.

29 July, La Tortue. You in?

Luka has been, quite frankly, working his ass off like he never has before.

Well, maybe that’s not entirely true. He remembers at least sort of working this hard to study for the bac, even if by most standards he nearly passed by the skin of his teeth. And he remembers at least sort of working this hard to find a paying job once he could actually have a job. But those ventures were for other people. To make a school district look good. To put food on the table even when he did n’t much feel like eating himself. This… he might even say this is the first time he’s worked so hard for himself, taken every bull he could find by the horns and steered it toward this club Bubbles has been hyping up, instead of figuring out where the things he loved decided to take him.

…Okay, and maybe he’s been doing some of this with Marinette in mind. But it isn’t entirely because of her, and he’d be dead and buried before he’d admit that Juleka’s right about this.

But what’s so bad about having a reason to work so hard? What’s wrong with calling the band together to practice when they’d been so lax about performances before? And what’s so bad about having a face to focus on in his imaginary audience whenever he closes his eyes? Or about having their setlist running like ticker tape in his head whenever he has a quiet moment in between deliveries? Or about splitting his attention between his messages to Bubbles and the tireless search for that perfect shade of blue music in the middle of the night?

Isn’t this what drives art? A color, a smile, a touch of the hand? Doesn’t this stuff launch ships and pen poetry? Isn’t it the little things, the things that are inconsequential to almost everyone else, that makes a painting into a masterpiece, or a song into a symphony?

Juleka says it once at the end of practice. Mostly with a jerk of her thumb and the hollow drawl of, “Get a load of this guy.”

Luka barely hears it, mostly because he’s crossed the room to study a heap of sheet music and rearrange it for what feels like the third time this hour. But he has enough spare energy, between writing and erasing and rewriting, to raise a middle finger behind him.

“Oh, come on,” Rose laughs, stepping back from the microphone; in seconds, he can feel her looming over him, studying with him. He doesn’t mind it, or how she rests her chin on his head, simply because they’ve known each other so long. “You just wanna get it right for our big break, right?”

Luka’s gotten a lot of things right; it’s easy to do when he keeps the bar for “right” on the ground nine times out of ten. He doesn’t want to get it right. He wants to get it perfect. And, as it turns out, the tenth time is the most finicky son of a bitch he’s ever dealt with. Which is saying something, when he’s been at the mercy of hungry customers more times than he can count.

“We’ll get it,” Rose encourages him with a friendly kiss to the top of his head. Her voice sounds tired. Maybe even worn. “But it’s not gonna go anywhere if you leave it alone for a while. I promise. Come on, let’s give it a rest.”

After a moment, he sighs, rights his papers, and rests his forehead on the keyboard he’s had to use as a makeshift desk. It makes the most distressing mix of notes in protest, but he hardly winces; it’s not like he’s ever been able to play it properly, anyway. “Fine,” he relents. “I’ll make you some tea and meet you upstairs.”

A shift in the air tells him neither Rose nor Juleka believes him. In the end, Juleka says, “Fine,” and Rose unravels from him, and their footsteps fade up the stairs.

With a sigh, Luka lifts his head from the piano, sure that the keys must have left some kind of mark, and finds Ivan still there, seated half-uncomfortably behind the drum set and twirling one of the sticks in his fingers.

“Juleka gave me The Look,” is all Ivan says, but it’s enough of an explanation. They’ve all been on the business end of The Look before. Even Rose, and maybe Luka more than most. He can see it in his head from the words alone.

“I get it, I get it,” Luka says, and he sets to work putting the kettle on and fishing out a couple of teabags and mismatched mugs from the cupboard. “You want a soda? Last one before we go grocery shopping—”

Ivan shakes his head. “You have it.”

Luka tosses him a water bottle instead, impressed by how he downs half of it in one go, dismissing his apology when he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. The kettle’s still going. They’ve got time to kill.

“She… kinda has a point,” Ivan mumbles after more than a beat of silence, like he’s uncertain about being too honest. Luka’s always thought he had nothing to worry about—Ivan’s much more tender than first glances would have others believe, and maybe tiptoes more than he should to fight those first glances. But he’s also had more than his fair share of overthinking the right words to say when music doesn’t suffice, and of regretting the words no matter how he ends up stringing them together, so he can’t really blame him.

Luka decides to bite. “What d’you mean?”

“I dunno,” Ivan says, which usually means that he does know but is looking for the right way to cushion his words. “It does kinda feel like you’ve gone into turbo mode about this whole gig. But like, Luka-Couffaine-Style Turbo Mode.”

“Is that better or worse than the average?”

“Well… it’s definitely different. It’s like you tune everything out and go… I guess, somewhere inside yourself that the rest of us can’t see.” Ivan shrugs. “I guess maybe she’s worried that it’s so nice in there that you won’t come back out.”

Luka smiles grimly at the stovetop. “You’re not gonna tell me there’s no I in ‘band,’ are you?”

Ivan laughs and takes another swig. “Nah, that sounds like something a guidance counselor would say. More like… it’s okay to come out sometimes.”

Luka bites his tongue and resists the urge to joke that he already does it every time he meets someone new. Instead, he busies himself with turning off the kettle and making the tea. “Hey, uh… you don’t mind if I ask you something weird i do you?”

“I’m already scared,” Ivan jokes, “but go ahead.”

Luka pauses, tea bag in hand. “How did… you and Mylène get together?”

When he turns, it’s hard to say just how Ivan’s expression’s shifted, but he knows it has. Reminiscing, maybe? Or is that... cringing? Or—for better or worse—understanding? “I, uh, wrote her a song. It… didn’t exactly go well.”

“What d’you mean, it didn’t go well? You’re dating, aren’t you?”

“Well, yeah, but. “Ivan shrugs. “It’s not like we just magically came together or anything. There were hiccups, I guess. You know?”

Luka knew hiccups better than the back of his hand. “So… what happened?”

Ivan tells him everything. How he liked Mylène and how sometimes it felt like everyone knew it but her. Or how maybe she knew after all, but didn’t want to, now maybe she even pretended she didn’t to let him down easy. How he buzzed from head to toe just sitting next to her in class but barely talked to her because he didn’t feel like he had the right to. The nights he stayed up thinking about it, wildly swinging back and forth between what if she doesn’t? and but God, what if she does? How he was teased and goaded by his classmates into finally gathering up the courage to confess to her, and humiliating them both with that stupid, loud song. And how, at the end of the day, all she needed to do was read the lyrics.

“It didn’t have to be perfect,” Ivan tells him. “It just had to be good.”

Luka smiles to himself at the end of it all, and feels his stomach turn, and wonders in the silence if all Marinette needs to do is hear the notes.

“Is it?” Ivan asks. “A girl? The one you’ve been posting about?”

Luka doesn’t say anything. He only takes the tray of drinks, and gives a little shrug, and nods toward the stairs. He gets the feeling Ivan would know without words anyway.

Cause I’m in. In fact, I’ve never been more “in” in my life.

[cassiavioletblue]

Hello, may I place an order if the kitchen is still open? I would really like, a Club Sandwich with the extra cheesy Tortilla Soup and a Charcuterie Board for an appetizer. And for drinks I'd like an Iced Coffee and a Banna Milshake, please and thank you. My compliments to the chef, I love the food here.

Dear Anon, 

Thank you for your lovely order!  ♡ Knowing that you enjoy the food made the chef very happy! :3 ♡♡ I hope you enjoy your special order and that the taste is to your liking (I wanted to write more but had to shorten it because of “time” and it being a “drabble” game 😅 so you got a little time jump instead to get a tiny glimpse of Yoonkook being actually in love ;)

Bon appétit!

Title: Tip my heart

AU: Strangers to Lovers    Genre: Romance Pairing: Yoonkook Rating: G Warnings: none Wordcount: 1519

Prompt: “It say’s here on your receipt that you’d like to leave a $300 tip. Perhaps that’s a mistake? Or are you just crazy?”

Link to the original menu/drabble event here:  🍽️

Jungkook froze, the note on his receipt making him stop dead in his tracks.

There, at the bottom of this little piece of paper it said that his tip would be three hundred dollars. Three hundred dollars!

Of course he immediately turned around and went back to the table that he had just come from.

„Uhm, excuse me, Mister? It says here on your receipt that you’d like to leave a $300 tip. Perhaps that’s a mistake?“ He kept the ‚Or are you just crazy?‘ to himself, considering that the man had been a really nice guest so far. He had probably just forgotten a comma and it had meant to be a three dollar tip. Which was a proper tip for the meal the other had ordered. It was quite an awkward situation so he tried to be really polite about it.

The other gave him an amused smile. „Yes, that‘s exactly what I wrote.“ He didn‘t make any move to take the receipt back and change the stupidly high amount he had written on it, so Jungkook stayed stuck besides the table in confusion. The man seemed to be awfully happy about this.

„Is this a joke?“ He knew that some people were unreasonably mean to people working in the service sector because they couldn‘t really fight back without causing trouble for themselves as well. He should be able to handle it by now but it still stung a little, first because it came out of nowhere in this case (normally people who were looking down on him like that outed themselves pretty early through their behavior, not just at the end) and second because he had actually liked this guest.

He didn‘t really know him of course but the man‘s eyes had been kind and his delicate hands had woken the photography major in Jungkook who was just fascinated by such a natural kind of beauty. The man had been different in a way right from the start, not because he was wearing flashy clothes or speaking loudly like other guests did, it was rather the other way round; he was wearing dark, elegant clothes and only spoke when he had to. It should have been easy for him to blend into the crowd of guests. And yet Jungkook felt like he wouldn‘t be able to forget him, that pale, pretty face with those dark, intense eyes – or the way the other had looked at him like he was special, like he wasn‘t just one of many waiters in a restaurant but a piece of art that he had unexpectedly stumbled upon. And now this.

The man‘s expression turned a little sheepish but it still didn‘t look like he felt guilty for playing a prank on him like that. His voice sounded a little rough when he answered him. „Ah, I‘m sorry. I should have given you a warning first, I guess. I knew this kind of tip might surprise you but I didn‘t expect you to think of it as a joke or mistake. You see, I just wanted you to keep me in good memory so that next time I‘ll be here you might want to serve me again?“

Jungkook stared at him with a dumbfounded expression. „You want to pay me 300 dollars just for me to potentially be your waiter again the next time you come here to eat? What if you‘re here on my free day or when I don‘t work a shift? Then you would have payed all that money for nothing!“ He still wasn‘t sure if the other was serious, but apart from the slight color in his cheeks the man seemed completely fine, as if having a conversation about this was perfectly normal.

„That wouldn‘t have happened. Your colleague over there was kind enough to tell me when you‘re on shift.“ Jungkook turned to where Yoongi had looked and could see Taehyung quickly picking up some menus, pretending to suddenly be very busy as if he hadn‘t been standing there, trying to listen in on their conversation. Taehyung. Oh, he would give him an earful after this for telling a stranger when he was working! A crazy stranger at that. 

„So.. did it work?“ The man‘s soft voice brought his attention back to their conversation.

„What?“

„Will you be my waiter next time I‘m here?“

Jungkook swallowed. Would he? Despite the man‘s obvious inability to handle his money Jungkook still thought that the other was really nice, now that it hadn‘t turned out to be a joke at his expense.

„I guess I could be?“ he answered, a little insecure.

The man gave him a beaming smile as if he had just been told some amazing news and got up, showing that he was actually a little shorter than Jungkook.

„That‘s great! See you next time then!“

Jungkook just nodded, still a little confused, because he didn‘t know what else to say. Three hundred dollars! Just to see him again.

 Although Tae tried to avoid him after he eventually managed to corner him to find out that Taehyung wouldn‘t have sold him out to random strangers – just this one in particular. Apparently the stranger‘s name was Min Yoongi and he was not just a regular guest, but a famous food critic that also had the strange habit to never eat at the same place twice. At least not until now.

„Do you know what this means?“ Tae asked him eagerly. „If you look at him some more with your big pretty doe eyes he might forget about the food entirely and just give us those five stars. That would be amazing, wouldn‘t it? Imagine how many new customers we‘d get!“

Jungkook pulled a face. „I like the ones we already have. And I‘m not making eyes at him for some stupid rating.“

Taehyung chuckled „Oh but you were already making eyes at him long before you knew who he was so I‘m not asking you to do anything different from last time, you can simply continue doing it!“

Jungkook was glad to have an excuse to vanish and just leave Taehyung standing when he was called back into the kitchen.

-`♥´- -`♥´- -`♥´- -`♥´- -`♥´- -`♥´- -`♥´- -`♥´- -`♥´- -`♥´-

Jimin was confused. Taehyung was still blocking his way and the box with vegetables that he was supposed to deliver was starting to get heavy. „So what you‘re saying is that I can‘t put the vegetables into the kitchen because Jungkook, our innocent sweet little Kookie, is currently flirting heavily in there with a certain Min Yoongi?“ He snorted „Taetae, did you drink the leftover wine again?“

Teahyung shook his head vehemently and then placed a finger on his lips to ask Jimin to be quiet before he carefully opened the door to the kitchen just a few inches. Jimin blinked. 

In there were the two people Taehyung had mentioned, standing really close together and obviously so enamoured with each other that they were blind to everything else that was going on around them (including poor suppliers who had to carry heavy boxes with vegetables). Jungkook was leaning against the counter, his eyes completely fixated on Yoongi‘s face, who looked like he was just as starstruck by the boy in front of him, saying something that Jimin couldn‘t hear from afar before he leaned in, close...closer…only a hair‘s breadth away from Jungkook‘s lips…

Taehyung shut the door before Jimin could catch them actually making out. „How?!“ was all he managed to say, finally giving up on getting into the kitchen anytime soon and placing the box with his deliveries aside.

„Apparently Yoongi fell in love with the food and then with Jungkookie right after. His way of getting Kookie‘s attention was to give him a 300 $ tip..“

Jimin sighed „Oh my, I wish someone would tell me that they liked me in exactly that way!“ Taehyung playfully hit him for it. „I can give you thirty dollars after I‘ve gotten my paycheck.“ Jimin chuckled. „Hm, no, I didn‘t mean like as a loan.“ Taehyung sighed. Sometimes his friend was really dense.

Jimin cocked his head aside „So is that a one time thing or will I have to find another place to put my deliveries from now on?“

Taehyung shrugged his shoulders. „Well, they meet up like this two or three times a week and probably think that we don‘t know about their relationship even though it‘s painfully obvious that they‘re stupidly in love with each other. You should see the way Yoongi looks at Jungkook even when they are just talking about the most tedious things - and you only have to mention Yoongi‘s name to make Jungkook all shy and giggly by now.“ 

Jimin smiled fondly at that. He was happy for Kook although there might be a hint of envy as well. Who wasn‘t dreaming of a love like that. „I see. Maybe they‘ll move their ‚secret dates‘ to someplace else if we tell them that basically everyone knows about them so that the kitchen will be free again. 

Who knew they would go from strangers to lovers like that!“

[onbanksofadragonriver]

Varric x Merrill thoughts

This is a rarepair ship I’ve believed in ever since I saw this fabulous art a few years ago, and the fic “Perfume Shop” (in Russian) has been a major inspiration too. And then recently, @hollyand-writes got me to air my headcanons and to actually get down to writing for this ship, so here we are.

I’ll go by points, but it’s not my goal to somehow attempt to prove that this ship is or should be canon. They’re my headcanons: Don’t like, don’t ship. Also, I haven’t played DA2 in a few years, and have never played any of the DLCs, so feel free to take this with a grain of salt. All dialogue with no specifically indicated source is from the wiki.

Buckle in, this is long!

@geekalogian​, @cartadwarfwithaheartofgold​ ♥

>> Amazing banter

All the companions get frustrated by Merrill’s silly questions, though I believe half of them are actually only asked as a joke. They try to explain it or avoid the question, or sigh about Merrill’s naivete. Fenris is downright hostile to her, and Anders tends to get preachy. Aveline treats her like a child sometimes. Isabela is protective and friendly, but sometimes she sounds a bit condescending and impatient with Merrill’s innocence. 

But Varric, he gets her. He gets her silly jokes and just rolls with it, and their dialogues are a pleasure to listen to. It’s with Varric that her somewhat straight-faced, silly humour really shines, because he’s the only one to play along: about frolicking in the woods, and his resemblance to Hahren Paivel, and Bianca having a pretty name, or how his family is like fleas, or Darktown rats following the mage/templar mess, etc. He never brings up her naivete or makes her feel inadequate or as if she’s missed some context. And they’re both so relaxed around each other it’s like Varric has unlocked a whole new dimension to Merrill.

>> Protecting her freedom. The ball of twine and taking care of the gangs. 

I’ve seen meta on how Varric paying off the thugs is him infantilizing Merrill, but he does this for Anders too. It’s his way of caring about people. And also, if you see Merrill’s reaction in case Hawke doesn’t let her have the arulin’holm, you’ll see that she’s perfectly capable of realising when people are coddling her, and letting them know — in no uncertain terms — when that kind of meddling is unwelcome. (see also: Varric and his product deliveries below)

I also like to think that half of the reason “nothing ever happens” when she wanders around at night is because Merrill is a badass mage perfectly capable of taking care of herself. One of her default starting spells is rock armour, and when Hawke meets her, she admits to having fought before, and having done so alone. She’s certainly capable or recognising the stupidity and danger Sister Petrice is walking in as she wanders around Lowtown, and that’s in broad daylight. 

Also, I’m thinking Varric must have put that protection in place after news of some incidents reached his ears, because it’s not something he does by default to other party members who’re new to Kirkwall. So perhaps it is, or was necessary at some point. On the other hand, perhaps Merrill is totally taking care of herself, and the thugs are not even trying to attack her, they’re just enjoying ripping off Varric :P

I like to think that the Viscount’s gardens were an honest mistake and Merrill did cut down on wandering there after Varric’s comment.

The ball of twine is interesting. Her closest friends in the gang seem to be Hawke, Isabela and Varric, but only Varric actually gives her a tool enabling her to find her way around the confusing human city. I don’t know what others did. Did they expect Merrill to just stay in the Alienage if there was nobody to accompany her around the city? Or did they expect her to find her own way through trial and error? Varric gives her a weird, but apparently functional tool for navigating the city until she learns her own way.

And the common motif between ensuring safe streets, an access to gardens and the ball of twine, is how Varric is safeguarding Merrill’s freedom. She’s Dalish, used to living under open sky, travelling from place to place. She’s used to green, growing things and wandering about as she pleases. And she’s used to doing magic freely and in ways that she herself believes appropriate. Now she’s stuck in a barely hospitable alienage of a city with a strong templar and slaver presence, and Varric doesn’t have the heart to scold her and limit her freedom even more. 

Considering Varric is part of the ascendant group in Merchant Guild, who believe in leaving behind Orzammar’s strict caste system and traditions and embracing surface life instead, looks like Merrill’s freedom speaks to something deep in Varric’s own beliefs and values, nonchalant as he seems.

>> Trying to take care of her. Delivering produce.

This gives me feels. First, Varric noticed that something was off. Maybe he missed her showing up at the Hanged Man, maybe he went to visit her. Either way, he noticed that she wasn’t going out, not even to the market. It’s funny to imagine Varric standing in the market scratching his head about what actually goes into food preparation, but more probably he initially just threw some money at the problem, sending someone shopping for her. And then he checked up and saw she’s still not going out. And then he tries to talk her into going for a walk, to get fresh air.

And again this is something I’ve read as coddling and infantilizing, but — when Merrill is clearly not in a mood for teasing, she rebukes him politely: “I’m not a plant, Varric.” She’s not harsh as in case with Hawke and arulin’holm. When Varric leaves, she admits: “Varric is... very sweet. Frequently infuriating and a terrible busybody, but sweet.”

Which at first read as... Merrill not reciprocating Varric’s feelings for her? But on a second thought: what if Merrill is the oblivious one? Not only to Varric’s caring but about her own feelings for him? What if she never considered Varric romantically because she always thought she’d end up with a Dalish partner, and then she becomes friends with Hawke and starts opening up to the idea that what if she takes a human lover? And falling in love with a dwarf has not even crossed her mind yet? (Look lower, queen.)

Because when Merrill cares, she helps people: waters their plants or repairs ancient artifacts. Part of her potentially falling in love with Hawke is due to how they help her, how they have her back. Varric and Merrill have the same love language. I choose to think of it as a mystery, why Merrill is not canonically head over heels for Varric. Maybe she’s so used to his confident, handsome self boasting about all the female attention he gets that she thinks she’s out of his league and has friendzoned herself :P

Additionally, I believe “sweet” and “infuriating” is something that the gang could equally attribute to Merrill herself. Pot calling kettle black? :D

>> Opinions on magic

Varric largely doesn’t have an opinion on Merrill being a mage, a blood mage, or whatever. He’s not afraid, because he has other, more pressing concerns, like Merchant’s Guild breathing down his neck and sending assassins, and when he does mention Merrill’s blood magic being “evil” it sounds like a rehearsed thing that might cause him headache due to other people getting their knickers in a twist over it.

He does acknowledge he’s distrustful of letting “dangerous people run amok” if Hawke sides with the mages in the end of DA2, but apparently he trusts Merrill enough that she knows what she’s doing and leaves it at that. He’s just sick of the whole mage/templar drama.

>> Mutual interest in what they do. 

Merrill is interested in what he does for a living, while he tries to keep her out of trouble that would come from her knowing too much. And Varric is pondering why Eluvian is a mirror, and not some other piece of furniture. Not judging each other, just — curious. Showing they are in each other’s thoughts. And I won’t go into details here, because @hollyand-writes​ has, like, ALL the receipts where Varric thinks about Merrill in DAI, but he does — a lot :) He knows her interest in history and lore, knows that news of ancient elves keeping slaves would upset her, knows she would have liked to see the Dales. He seems to be missing her a lot...

>> Priority. 

LOOK at the sequence he mentions his friends in, Merrill is No.1, while Hawke is almost an afterthought :D

Merrill: How do you do it, living in the city without picking a side? Doesn't it matter to you? Varric: Of course it does. That's why I don't take sides. Merrill: That doesn't make any sense. Varric: I've got you and Aveline, Fenris and Anders. Hawke. Isabela. I've got friends in the Circle and drinking buddies in the templars. All of them matter.

And who’s the first person that comes to Merrill’s mind when Hawke calls her pretty? Varric! :D [X]

>> Comfort in storytelling. 

Yeah, Merrill says somewhere later that she wouldn’t have made a good Keeper because she’s not good with people, but she did receive all the requisite education. She studied lore and elven legends and history, as much as is left of it anyway, and I believe that storytelling, thriving on stories, is something that she and Varric both have in common. 

Maybe she’s too shy to tell her own stories, but she’s definitely enjoying Varric’s and looking for consolation in his stories when things get rough.

Merrill: Varric, how does the story end? Varric: Which story, Daisy? Merrill: The big one. With us and Hawke, the mages and templars. Everything. Varric: You want to know before it happens? You're not worried about spoiling the surprise? Merrill: I might not see it end. Varric: You have to stick with us if you want to find out how it turns out, Daisy.

Merrill: Tell me a story, Varric. Varric: Right now? I don't think we have time, Daisy. Merrill: Maybe a very short story, then? Please? Varric: Fine. "When the cards turned, he lost." Merrill: Oh. Did it have to be so sad?

Merrill: (passing the Hanged Man):  "Do you think there's time for Varric to tell us a story while we're here?"

Merrill: I hope we win. Varric will make it a good story, I'm sure.

>> Conclusions & Future

The thing that gets me the most is how good and kind they are to each other. It’s in their teasing, their jokes, the way Varric takes care of Merrill. I love Merrill’s confidence in Varric’s storytelling talent, and I like to think Varric finds Merrill’s confident tinkering with the mirror at least a little bit hot, even if he doesn’t understand magic (Bianca is/was a brilliant engineer, and I think Varric has a bit of a competence kink :D)

I also enjoy thinking of them both as slightly out of touch with emotions: Varric ignoring his own, and Merrill oblivious to his. I like to think of what happens when Merrill realises Varric loves her: because she’s open and honest in her affections, and it would be awesome to see Varric taken by that storm. To see him openly fall for someone so different, at a first glance, but also familiar: a knowledgeable storyteller, confident in her abilities, believing in free will and freedom. 

I see them moving on together: Merrill learning to let go of the disappointment that is the unfinished eluvian, and Varric learning to let go of his lingering feelings for Bianca. Yes, the past is important for Merrill, while Varric wants to live in the moment, but the point of knowing the past, for Merrill, is to be able to move forward, and Varric certainly knows his family’s past, so I don’t see any disagreements there. If anything, Varric’s resources and connections can help Merrill get her hands on more artefacts and ancient tomes, letting her continue on her path in some other way.

It’s interesting to imagine their life together. After DAI, Varric pours his own funds into various infrastructure projects until he ends up the Viscount of Kirkwall, and Merrill is in Kirkwall too, helping the city elves. Somehow, it feels logical that at least some of those projects would be new elf housing and improvements to the alienage. 

Would they get married? Probably, because I think it would be important to Merrill, and also probably because it might be a better way to protect her, a rumoured/known blood mage, from the Chantry than if she was just the Viscount’s mistress. On the other hand, knowing Varric and his cousin Elmand, and his spy network, and his tendency to successfully evade the Merchant Guild messengers [X], it’s equally possible he’d whip up a completely fake story about how his beloved Merrill is a hatter, and leave it at that. Probably he couldn’t even be found in the Keep, instead preferring to hide out in the Hanged Man or in his wife’s house in the alienage :D

Because, in the end, I think they both enjoy doing their respective Things very much, whether it’s helping elves or writing books, and they let each other do it selflessly, even if maybe it means they can’t live together. (Because can you imagine a Viscomtesse Merrill having to host a ball? Dealing with Hightown nobles? No, I don’t think Varric would ever ask such a sacrifice of her.) But they live close, and help and support each other, and, in short, I think they’d be awesome :)

[fleckcmscott]

The Vanity

Summary: Arthur tries to get ready for work. Y/N joins him.

Warnings: Smut, swearing

Words: 3,774

A/N: This request comes from the marvelous brain of @ithinkimawriter. Again, thanks to @sweet-nothings04 for beta-reading!

If you have any thoughts or questions, please comment, feel free to message me, or send me an ask. Requests for Arthur and WWH are open!

After he started street performing and getting gigs again, Arthur found he needed a better place to put his supplies for work. The two small shelves in the bathroom were already covered by his and Y/N's toiletries, so they didn't fit there. He'd been keeping it all in a plastic bag in the closet, but that wasn't ideal. The enclosed space had a tendency to get too hot due to how the heat worked in the apartment, which made his make-up dry out. And the brushes were getting damaged because of improper storage.

Having to borrow money from her wasn't the only reason he was hesitant to mention he would prefer a vanity. Y/N would often sit on the closed lid of the toilet, watching him lean over the sink while he applied greasepaint to his face. If he had his own work area, he assumed she'd probably hold back from him when he was in it, like she did when he was in his writing nook. It was one of the ways she showed him respect. But he loved her keeping him company when he'd get in costume, how they would discuss the day and plan for the evening.

She'd begun asking more about his job, seeming to be genuinely interested in it. They were simple questions: how long he'd been a clown ("About ten years. Maybe twelve?"); what he liked best about it ("Every day is different. And making kids laugh."); and what the hardest part was. He pondered on what answer he could give, one that was accurate, but wouldn't cause her concern. He hadn't wanted to tell her he still had to deal with mean people (though incidents were seldom and he was better at handling them). If he did that, she'd probably insist on riding with him, despite his reassurances he could take care of himself. "The commute can be rough," he'd admitted. Then he'd bent down to her and tapped her nose lightly with the tip of his brush. "It's good knowing I have you to come home to." Her wide smile and gleaming squint had been full of adoration, in spite of her reaching for a tissue to wipe her face.

Eventually he told her, though. "There's a cosmetic table at Donahue's Department Store," he said, giving her the flyer they'd gotten in the mail as he sunk onto the sofa cushion beside her. He pointed at the picture of the vanity, with its dark brown veneer and two drawers on both sides of the sitting area. The oval mirror had sides that folded in at an adjustable angle, which, he explained, would make it easier for him to ensure the white base covered every part of his face. "We could put it on my side of the bed. By the window. It's only a couple feet long, a foot deep. I already measured the space."

She looked intrigued. "Mr. Fleck, you want to put a giant mirror next to our bed?" The glint in her eye was obvious.

He blinked at her. "I need a space to put my make-up. The lighting will be better there."

Studying the page, she leaned her head on him, a smirk in her voice. "Of course."

He wondered why she was joking around when he was being serious. But he continued with what he had to say. "I don't want you to stop watching me get ready if we buy it. It'd be yours, too. It's not expensive. But- But I'd need to borrow a little from you. I could pay you ba-"

"Don't start with that," she interrupted. "I'll call them right now." With a kiss to his shoulder, she got up and walked to the phone. He eagerly waited in the kitchen entrance, worrying his pockets while she sat on the counter making notes. Then she hung up and gave him the good news: the store would be able to deliver it Friday afternoon, cash-on-delivery, fully assembled for a small fee. Arthur grabbed his wallet, took out all $22, and shoved it at her until she rolled her eyes and stuck it in an envelope for the payment. "I'll put a couple mascaras in there," she said wryly. "Then maybe you'll stop worrying about the money."

~~~~~

The party would be starting at 1:00 PM. Arthur had to hop on the red line from Burnley, transfer to the blue line in Hinckley, then take the train to Gotham Village. The commute would be just under an hour if there were no delays (which had become more frequent ever since the prior year's budget cuts). Gary had assured him he didn't have to worry. He'd worked for a friend of the family before and they were nice people. The kid liked magic tricks and balloon animals. It'd be easy. And he'd be home for the Saturday Night Made-for-TV movie Y/N wanted to catch with him. (Courtroom dramas weren't his thing, but he wouldn't miss the chance to settle his arm around her and pretend to be engrossed.)

Sitting at the vanity, with its round stool and solid, cream color cushion, made him feel like a professional getting ready to face the day. Even if he was a clown. The light shining through the sheer, muslin curtains of their bedroom was bright enough to get started. After removing his shirt and raking his brown locks back, he dabbed the brush in his pot of white foundation. The bristles ran across his forehead and strong brow in even lines, over the straight bridge and rounded tip of his nose, then down his right temple, careful not to get the pigment in his sideburn. Tilting his head and holding steady, he painted curved, smooth strokes over his sharp cheekbone, down to his jawline, then repeated the motions on the left side of his face. His mouth parted as he colored the area under his nose, his thin lips, and chin. When the paint was distributed evenly, he blended it with a sponge, using small, circular motions.

Y/N's soft footsteps approached as he finished the blue triangles above and below his left eye. "What kind of sandwich do you want to take with you?" she asked from the bedroom doorway.

That turned the corner of his mouth up. Whenever Arthur had a job around lunch, she packed him something to eat. He hadn't yet gotten use to being taken care of. The attention made him feel self-conscious. He wasn't certain he'd ever believe he deserved it. But more and more often, he found himself able to simply appreciate her thoughtfulness. "Anything will be okay. Wait - do we have turkey?"

"Yeah. I'll make it soon." He watched her in the mirror as she walked up behind him and sat on his side of the bed. "You don't have to leave for a couple hours," she said, working on her thumbnail with a file. "I'm surprised you’re in here already."

It was a bit early to be preparing for the gig, but he didn't want to be late. If these people really were as gracious as Gary claimed, maybe he'd be able to perform again at their next party. Or they'd recommend him to other families. Then he'd definitely be able to pay off the ring he was buying Y/N and give it to her in October, as he'd planned. He finished working on the triangle under his right eye, having already done the one on his brow. "I wanna make sure I get it right," he said. "I used to do it every day."

She got up and propped herself on the edge of the table, dropping the emery board on it. "You're much better at that than I am," she said as he drew the outline of an exaggerated smile, then filled it in. "I'm lucky I don't poke my eye out with my liner."

Chuckling, he let his gaze flit up to hers before continuing. It was difficult not to be distracted by her proximity; she was pretty even in her casual, weekend outfit. The black, white-seamed tank top showed off the contours of her breasts. And its slits, stopping just above her hips, enticed him. Glancing at her legs, he admired the curves exposed by her matching, form-fitting track shorts. The stray hairs on her calves were few, leftovers from her electric razor - he’d have to remind her to change the blade.

She scooted closer. "Do you know how beautiful you are in that?" she said, indicating his make-up. "You took my breath away when I first saw it. Well, that paired with your good hair."

A scoff left him as he put red eyebrows midway up his forehead. The paint helped him get into character. But he was aware his visage was more weathered than most thirty-five year old men. And he disliked how the color would accentuate the lines and crevices in his face. "It shows my wrinkles," he murmured, to himself as much as to her.

"I love your wrinkles," she said. "And your squishy cheeks." Then she cupped his face. He recoiled almost instantly, grasping her hand. A bit of paint had gotten on her. "Oops, I smudged you." Before he could protest, she grabbed the white brush from the jar behind her and perched herself on him. It caught him off guard. But after a few seconds, he put his left arm around her waist to steady her.

The tension in his body grew and his eyelids drifted shut. The bristles tickled with Y/N controlling them - he'd never had someone else do his make-up before. The wet of the paint and the weight of her on his lap reminded him of one of his earliest fantasies of her. He'd imagined bringing her to HaHa's and showing her off to his co-workers. (In particular, Randall, that asshole who'd been married and divorced twice, constantly complained about his exes and whoever he was seeing, and probably didn't even know what a clit was.) Even though they'd made fun of him, and he didn't understand all their comments about women, he could have proven he was worthy of a girlfriend.

Arthur sighed. He didn't like how the tenderness she was showing him prompted his thinking to go to such a bitter place. Especially since he felt he was doing better and believed he was moving on. Not wanting to spoil the lovely morning he was having with her, he concentrated on the physical space around him, the way Dr. Ludlow had taught him. He focused on the warmth of Y/N's form on his thighs, the hint of her pleasing natural scent over the chalky smell of the greasepaint, the way her fingers curled on his chest as she tried to fix the smear she'd made. The burning in his shoulders alerted him to the fact that he was flushing, and he ducked his head slightly.

It wasn't the best moment to get aroused - he really did want to get ready for work. But then she leaned into him, her breasts flush with his torso, and his heartbeat quickened. Her pebbled nipples through the thin fabric of her top prompted him to slowly trace the hem of her shorts. With his blood rushing to his groin, he nearly didn't hear her sound of displeasure. "What?" he rasped.

"I'm making this worse."

He moved to look past her, in the mirror. The carefully formed triangle still had a wide base, but one side was uneven, the tapering causing it to look like an icicle. He shook his head and seized the brush, pretending to be annoyed. "This is why I started early."

"Really?" she replied, tousling his hair. A couple stray curls fell onto his forehead. "I was hoping it was so we'd have time." The slight scrape of her nails on his scalp, and the invitation in her eyes made his mouth run dry.

Since they'd gotten together, he'd been learning his boundaries and figuring out what he liked. Y/N was understanding and patient, and happily answered any questions he could bring himself to ask. And when he misinterpreted something or made a mistake, she accepted it with humor. Her easy manner and generosity healed any embarrassment, even when he needed a few minutes to stop being flustered.

Making love with his clown face on wasn't something they had discussed. But if she wanted to, he wasn't opposed. He huffed, put the brush on the table, then let his fingertips slide down her neck. When she adjusted her legs and bumped his erection, he dipped under the strap of her shirt. "Time for what?" He hoped he sounded confident enough to tease her. The kiss she gave him was urgent but he drew back. "This stuff doesn't taste good," he warned.

"I don't care," she breathed, dipping to his mouth again, arms going around him. At that, he reached up her shorts, in a hurry to have her as close to him as possible. Lips continuing to pull at hers, he helped her stand and take them off, along with her underwear. He wanted to watch as she straddled him, but her kisses were demanding, and he was losing the ability to think clearly. Instead, he palmed her ass, savoring the feel of her slow but enthusiastic undulations against his length. Eventually, she broke away from him, pressing her forehead to his. "I made a mess," she giggled.

He looked down between them. The stain of her slick had gotten on the front of his blue pants, its faint whiteness shining in the bright sunlight. "Oh..." He licked his upper lip at the sight and shuddered. "Y/N?"

"Yes?"

One of her requests had been that he attempt to be more explicit, to tell her what he wanted. He might as well try it again now. Swallowing thickly, he forced the words out. "I need to fuck you."

The light laugh that left her was delighted. "I'm right here," she purred as she helped him shed her shirt.

Once it was gone, he lifted her off him and sat her on the vanity, suddenly overcome with the need to take her. He threaded his fingers through her hair, angling his head upwards to tangle his tongue with hers. The grip she had on his biceps was almost bruising but he loved it. It made her inexplicable desire for him tangible. Slowly, he traced down over her stomach to hold her hips. His mouth reached her chest, and he panted between his sucking of her nipples and open-lipped kisses on her breasts.

He backed away, taking in the make-up he'd smeared on her body and face. The possession he felt at that shocked him, but he enjoyed it all the same. Then he gazed down at her core with hooded eyes and groaned. She was beautiful, splayed before him like she was, her center red, swollen, and so wet her arousal was on her thighs. He placed his palm on the crease of her thigh, licking his lip as he stretched to toy with her engorged clit. Her grip moved to his shoulder as she jerked up into his touch. He nuzzled her sternum as he continued, rapidly moving the pad of his thumb back and forth over the sensitive nub. The motions of her pelvis quickened, matching his fervor. But as his lips began to trail down to her abdomen, she stopped him. "I want to come with you in me."

After gathering himself, he stood and slipped out of his trousers and briefs. He bent to pick them up and put them on the bed, and she hopped off the vanity and turned around. It confused him at first. But then she braced herself on the table with her forearms. “Come on,” she whispered.

The sight of her bowed over like that, asking him to fill her, was undeniably arousing. But this was something new. They'd been exploring gradually. Despite his complete trust in her, he had to question it. “It’s- It’s hard to see you this way. Your face.”

“That’s what the mirror’s for.” Her eyes were wicked when they met his in the glass.

Ah. He chuckled, feeling silly for not knowing that. Then she pressed back, the swell of her buttocks nudging his hard-on. When she held herself open for him, he stopped doubting. Letting the clutch of her walls and her soft moans guide him, he slowly entered her.

When he was engulfed in her completely, he stilled and gazed at the mirror. The reflection made him snort - his greasepaint was smeared all over, the white, red, and blue smudged together inseparably, much like their two bodies. It was odd to see himself standing there - he wasn't sure if he liked it. So he blinked down at her face; he held his breath. He hadn’t even done anything, and she looked like she was about to get off. Then he felt the flicker of her fingertips on his cock. Reaching around her and between her legs, he said, “Let me.” She obliged, allowing him to entwine their fingers as she stroked herself.

Her words came out as a whimper. “Arthur...” She pushed towards him. “I need you to move.”

Eagerly, he withdrew and bucked into her, grunting and quickly speeding up. But he was too clumsy and slipped out of her. They both laughed as she grasped him and lined him up with her entrance. “Just go easy,” she said. “Don’t pull out too far.” Concentrating, he put his other hand on her hip and did his best to control the shallow rocking of his hips. The one or two inches of friction wasn’t enough for him; it seemed to be working for her, though. But it was hard to maintain his rhythm when the sound of her ass and thighs hitting him was making him want to lose himself completely.

Releasing her hand, he straightened a bit and allowed his gaze to rove over her. She was writhing beneath him, bent forward as she chased her pleasure. His touch ghosted up her spine, gentle along the faint knobs (much less prominent than his) under her smooth skin. Kneading her left shoulder, he looked at her reflection. Her head was tilted back, her brows stitched together as she strove back towards him. The lips he loved to kiss parted with every whine. And her breasts swayed with each thrust, their stiff peaks grazing the surface of the table.

A groan escaped him. He’d seen her expression contort in bliss a lot at this point. But it felt voyeuristic, watching her like this. Almost as if the mirror separated them in spite of their joining. A shiver went up him at the thrill of it, and he plunged faster, his palm on her side pulling her towards him. She met him, move for move, even as her hips stuttered, and he felt the familiar spasm of her muscles start around him. He drove inside her, hard, when she fell apart, and stayed buried deep while she rode out her climax. It wasn’t easy to do, the pulsing grip of her core nearly inducing him to move. She sobbed, her frame curling as she lowered her head to her vanity. Gasping, she squeezed his hand on her shoulder. The trembling of her legs caught his attention, so he rubbed her thigh soothingly and kissed her.

Once she’d relaxed, he left her body long enough to turn her around, set her on the table, and fill her again. Now he wasn’t patient. His lips devoured her mouth as he rutted within her, her walls around his hard cock flooding his senses. He hoped he’d never get use to this. At the building tautness of his muscles, he propped himself up on the vanity and grit his teeth. One of her hands held his hip, the other digging the small of his back, guiding him as he fucked her with abandon. “Arthur, don’t stop."

His movements faltered when her legs encircled his waist, then sudden, white hot fire consumed him. Everything disappeared as he moaned in the crook of her neck - everything that wasn't her. She gripped him tightly, her soft "Yes" caressing his ear and his heart. His toes curled into the carpet and his pelvis locked with hers, his essence pouring inside her, his length throbbing, surrounded by her heat.

Finally, he was able to straighten and catch his breath. He could feel her smile against his temple, and he patted her flank gently before he withdrew from her. First he sat on the edge of the bed, then let himself lay down and raked his fingers through his hair, closing his eyes. That had been intense. And a work out. He could feel the sweat on his scalp. He’d have to shower again.

He hadn’t realized Y/N had stepped out until she reclined next to him and pressed a warm washcloth to his forehead. “Sorry about your make-up.”

“I think I can forgive you,” he laughed. His fingertips dragged up her side as he looked at her washed face in wonder. The gentle way she was dabbing at him, the love she radiated, would never stop being remarkable. This was one of the moments she made him believe he was the luckiest man in Gotham, despite the wretchedness that had been most of his life, and the conditions he struggled with.

Arthur accepted the cloth from her and sat up, watching as she stood and washed the vanity's surface. “Did you like it?” she asked.

“Yes.” He wiped the greasepaint from his skin. “Were you always like this?”

Y/N glanced over her shoulder. “Like what?”

Unsure how to describe it, he gestured at her vaguely.  “I dunno. Out there?”

"Out there?" she snorted. "I think you mean vocal." With a shake of her head, she knelt in front of him and rested her forearms on his knees. “That came with experience. And you may not be. That's fine. You'll figure it out.” Then she nuzzled at his nose. “It helps when you're with the right person.”

His chest swelled at that description of him, that she regarded him as such, and he put his arm around her. “Yeah,” he said quietly. Then he quirked a brow at her, touching the marks his paint had left on her chest. “Does this mean you have a thing for clowns?”

The tickling of his ribs wasn’t entirely unexpected. “No." She nestled against him and kissed his jaw. "I have a thing for you.”

~~~~~

Tag list (Let me know if you want to be added!): @harmonioussolve @ithinkimaperson @sweet-nothings04 @stephieraptorr @rommies @fallenstarsabyss @gruffle1 @octopus-plasma

[safetytank]

long-ass floral drama ahead

after the roaring successes of my Anders DragonAge Did Nothing Wrong & How To Dungeons And Dragons Good presentations, the host of the original had a follow-up DTL night and u KNOW a bitch is incapable of not doing Way Too Much while simultaneously leaving everything to the last minute

so here u go, customers i interacted with while working at one of the local florists between 2017-2018, organized and ranked for ur entertainment

commentary added bc most the slides were just a visual component to a textual joke & i won’t make u all sit through a 10-minute video rendition, u got shit to do

every single older guy cheating on his partner follows exactly the same script, it’s like they were made in a lab

some did manage to break away from the mold tho, usually younger guys asking sheepishly if we had “i’m sorry” balloons (we did) or the following 2 honorable mentions for bringing innovations to the field of cheating on ur wife

imagine using a BIBLE VERSE to try and convince your girl she should take u back bc something something FORGIVENESS

the audacity

the second honorable mention is the very first customer complaint my manager handled after he was hired on back in like 2012, which was a guy whose girlfriend had looked at his credit card statement the day after Valentine’s Day and saw he’d sent 13 other one-dozen rose arrangements so he tried to convince her it must have been a credit card glitch & that he’d call and get it sorted out and my manager was like “lmao fuck no you’re not getting a refund, u made ur bed now lie in it asshole”

number 4 is the time a customer wanted an order wired to chicago for a loved one’s birthday and have it be sent to their job and i was like “oh how nice where do they work” and they were like “the leather museum” and me, internally, thinking “wow like cowboy stuff :)”

it was not cowboy stuff

number three i don’t even give a shit about censoring the name on bc if you know Vickie Fucking Fitzgerald in real life there’s no punishment u could enact upon me that would be greater than having to put up with Vickie Fucking Fitzgerald in real life

this slide is an example of a normal message someone might write on a card that comes in a floral arrangement, like 4-ish lines of text on a little plastic fork that says “happy birthday, love NAME 1 and NAME 2″ or “sorry for your loss, love THE LASTNAME FAMILY”

Vickie Fucking Fitzgerald does not know how cards on floral arrangements work

like damn bitch just send a letter at that point jesus christ

fun fact this was also a wire order so the other florist called us on the phone to be like “uhhhhh is this....correct” and we had to be like “yeah” and they went “ok, cool, just checking, uh, so we had to staple 4 different message cards together to fit all of it” and we were like “yeah bet u did lol”

vickie fucking fitzgerald was a million billion years old and if u saw her name pop up on the caller ID you learned to fear it bc it meant you’d be trapped on the phone for between 10 and 20 minutes listening to her entire life story in between trying to take a gd floral order

one time she wanted a funeral basket sent out of state to FUCKING ALASKA and we’re on the east coast of the united states so we were like “ok well there’s a 4 hour timezone difference and it’s 8am here so they’re not even open yet, we’ll have to wait til 12pm when they open up at 8 and then we can wire it for you so we’ll take down your order and call u back when it’s time to wire it”

yall wanna guess how many times this bitch called back to waste our time before 12pm

VICKIE YOU WENT ON FOR CUMULATIVE HOURS ABOUT HOW YOUR HUSBAND WAS DIVORCING YOU AND I’M BEGINNING TO SEE WHY HE MIGHT WANT TO

#2 is of course the dumb horny bullshit, bc it turns out if u order online and the quality control manager isn’t paying A Lot of attention u can slip all kinds of shit into ur card messages (just don’t do the entire fuckin Iliad like VFF up there)

this one gets put in horny jail because of the sheer AUDACITY of contacting someone who has either 1. been broken up with/divorced recently, or worse, 2. THEIR PARTNER FUCKING DIED, and THEN TRYING TO THROW YOUR HAT IN THE RING WITH THAT “I’VE ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU WERE BEAUTIFUL, CATCH ME ON THE REBOUND BABY ;)” HORSESHIT

no comment

this one haunts me in the depths of night and will absolutely be the last thing i see when i close my eyes to slough off this mortal coil

this one yall get every single slide for bc the only reason it lives on in as much detail is due to me hopping on twitter immediately afterwards to preserve the memory while it was still fresh (the caller was not the ghost btw, she was a middle-aged acquaintance of the aforementioned Gay Nigerian Royalty Ghost)

shout out to every stock website i skimmed off for this presentation btw

we stan one gay ghost king (THIS JOKE WORKS ON MULTIPLE LEVELS)

WHY DID HE HAVE MILLIONS OF DOLLARS, YOU ASK

i cannot confirm literally any of this information please do not ask me to i was just paraphrasing what was told to me

here’s where we got into the really wild shit

if u ever worked retail u know this feeling

SO THE DELIVERY MANAGER COMES BACK IN THE DAY OF THE FUNERAL

and he’s like “so i walked in there to deliver the orders and the place was DECKED OUT in traditional fabrics, masks on the wall, everyone was dressed very traditionally, and i was like wow cool guess this guy was important” (he did not know about the International CIA Prosecutor stuff) and someone at the funeral home told him “oh yah we had to go all out bc the deceased’s family WERE A BRANCH OF THE NIGERIAN ROYAL FAMILY THAT HAD FLED TO THE UNITED STATES SOMETIME IN THE 80′S so obviously u can’t have a royal funeral and skimp on the decorations :)”

artist’s rendition

thank u for enjoying this little trip down memory lane also if u recognize urself or someone u know in any of these stories i blocked ur names out for a reason so don’t fuckin come at me ok

[emiewritesthings]

when we were young - kevin atwater

requested?: yes by anonymous 

Could you do an Adam Ruzek or Kevin Atwater imagine where it’s like a flashback to the time him and the reader met and about their relationship and it cuts to their life now?

kevin atwater x fem!reader

a/n: i’m not sure what happened but i kept writing and it came out with this, hope you enjoy. please send me requests :) - emie

masterlist

ten years ago

y/n’s arms were numb as she ran up the stairs to the apartment for the fourth time in a row. her slightly impaired by the boxes that were piled up in her hands, leaving her feet in full control to guide her to the apartment that just so happened to be on the fifth floor.

as she reached the floor, she could already hear her brothers from down the hall. they had barely been in the block for more than an hour and they had already started to bicker, it was in moments like this that y/n wished she had sisters.

“where did you put my baseball bat? i know you have it!” flynn groaned as he searched desperately through the boxes that were labelled according to what room they were for, unfortunately for him ‘weapons’ wasn’t one of them. flynn was only 8 years old, but his fascination with breaking things astounded y/n and pretty much everyone else he met.

“no one cares about that, where is the laptop.” kai shouted back from the other room, not seeming to notice y/n struggling to hold onto the boxes in her arms. knowing she wasn’t going to get any help from anyone in her household, she continued to struggle alone, making sure to avoid her youngest brother fletcher that was running around the apartment like some play area.

“will you two shut up, i’m trying to listen,” and finally there was phoenix, who was holding his phone tightly against his ear as he wandered around the apartment trying to find some sort of signal. y/n dropped the boxes next to the other ones that were beginning to fill up the living room.

“wow, y/n, thank you so much for bringing in all ours things and for paying for this place,” y/n mocked in a deep voice, in what she had deemed her ‘angsty brother’ voice, despite sounding like an idiot. “no problem guys.” she smiled sarcastically, patting flynn on the head as he let out a groan of annoyance, not having taken in a word his sister had said.

y/n was only 18 and yet she had spent the last 6 months of her life in court to get custody of her brothers in order to get them out of foster care. her parents were who knows where, on whatever drug they could find, while drinking whatever they could get their hands on. she knew that she had saved the boys through a life of pain, that she had not had when she was their age, but she would have appreciated a thank you every once in a while.

“so what’s for dinner?” kai called out, finding the laptop that all five of them had to share and had been sharing for the last few years. his body slouched against the couch, eyes not raising to meet his sister’s.

“dude, it’s three o’clock.” she snorted, she had learnt over the years of taking care of her brothers that they seemed to always be hungry, no matter the hour. yet still it amazed her. kai shrugged, the sound of his fingers tapping against the keys echoing throughout the bare apartment. “i guess we could get a pizza tonight, i still have the tips from friday.” she scronged around helplessly.

“pizza!” fletcher yelled as he ran back into the living room and into the arms of his sister, who picked him up with ease. the look of pure happiness on his face, reminded y/n exactly what made her moneyless, tiresome work worth it.

“you know, sometimes i’m sure you are the only one that loves me.” she grinned, as fletch wrapped his small arms around her and squeezed her softly. however the mood came crashing down when she heard a loud crash coming from one of the bedrooms.

“found it!” flynn yelled, as he appeared with the stupid baseball bat that y/n was sure she had thrown out and a wide smile on his face.

--

the knock on the door came just in time. y/n was busy unpacking her room, having completed everyone elses and the other rooms. her stomach was making sounds that had she been in public would have made her embarrassed.

“i’ve got it!” she yelled, but when she ran out the room no one had even made an effort to peel themselves away from the tv that was playing a rerun of friends. y/n grabbed her purse and pulled open the door. “it’s 15 bucks, right?” she asked, holding the money out, only to find as her eyes rose the three strangers at her door were certainly not the pizza delivery guy.

“ugh, sorry to bother you,” y/n could feel the apple of her cheeks burn as she met the coffee coloured eyes of the tall man that made her feel like she was 2 foot tall. “my name’s kevin atwater i live next door and this is my brother jordan and my sister vinessa- i’m sorry are we interrupting.” the man spoke, a small warm smile pulling on his lips as he looked over the woman’s face. he had been brought up properly, his desire to check her out was pushed down and he kept the friendly smile on his face.

“no, no, of course not,” y/n rambled, turning to look behind her at the four boys that were brainwashed by the small box that rested on an old tv stand. debating what to do she quickly moved out of the way of the door and gestured for them to enter. “come on in, let me introduce you to the boys. i’m y/n y/l/n, it’s nice to meet you guys.”

y/n had only had a couple of friends in her life, when you move from foster home to foster home it was hard to keep in contact. but this was a fresh start, it had to be and it was being offered to her on a silver platter.

“kevin, vinessa, jordan these are my brothers, malakai, phoenix, flynnigan and fletcher.” she introduced, making sure she gave the boys a sharp glare to behaviour while they had guests over. “guys, these are our neighbours, be nice.” she made sure she was looking at flynn who was holding onto his baseball bat like some deranged lunatic, but he flashed his most innocent smile as he looked to their guests.

“how’s it going, dude.” kai was the first one to speak up. standing from his position to shake kevin’s hand. then came flynn who completely ignored kevin as he nodded his head at jordan, who was around the same age as the boy.

“you like breaking things?” he asked, catching kevin and jordan by surprise as y/n quickly pulled flynn away from the boy and towards him.

“he’s joking.” he was not joking, but flynn happily returned to the sofa. y/n soon noticed that they were just standing awkwardly in their living room, knowing that she should probably play host, she pointed towards the kitchen. “you guys want a drink or something?”

“sure.” kevin smiled, his eyes following her as she excused herself and left the room. y/n didn’t like this whole host role, let alone for a 6 foot something god that was getting a first hand look into what a nutcase family he was living next to. the last thing she needed nor wanted was someone calling in CPS and taking them off her again. “uh, i was just wondering if you guys wanted some help.” y/n nearly dropped the cans in her hand, as she turned to face the man that didn’t mean to cause any hand.

“yeah, thanks.” she smiled, steadying her heartbeat for no more than a second before he took a few steps closer and it was off beating again. she couldn’t help it, she had not been with anyone in nearly 7 months. with the stress of the custody and the time taken to work, she didn’t really have time for a sex life. so one look at the man had her palms sweating like a creep.

“so where did you move from?” kevin asked. small talk, i can do small talk, y/n thought as she looked at kevin who was helping to find enough cups for everyone in the apartment.

“uh we were actually a few blocks over in the south.” she replied, not wanting to tell him the entire story, after all they had met moments ago. kevin hummed, noticing the way her shoulders tensed. anxiety was radiating off her, but he found it cute. “you always lived here?”

“yeah, pretty much,” the silence resumed and y/n didn’t know what else to say. maybe small talk wasn’t her thing. who was she kidding, she was killing this conversation and not in a good way. thankfully it was cut short as there was yet another knock on the door. y/n cursed, trying to put down the cups she had balanced in her hands, but kevin placed his hand upon her shoulder, stopping her. “i got it.” he offered, walking away and towards the front door.

y/n could feel her skin tingling, but she shook it off as she followed kevin out of the room.

“thanks, bro.” kevin called out before the door slammed shut. y/n put the drinks onto the coffee table, making sure that kevin’s siblings got first dibs before the boys got their hands on them. kevin appeared the his hands holding the rest of the cups and the pizza. “here you go, we should probably get going and let you guys eat-.”

“stay,” y/n said all too quickly, causing all eyes to look her way. realising she sounded way to desperate, her eyes widened as she tried to fix her words. “i mean why don’t you guys join us for dinner, i’m sure the boys don’t mind sharing, right guys?” she looked at her brothers who didn’t look impressed, but one stern look and they were all nodding.

“of course.” they cheered in unison. kevin placed the box on the table, and looked towards his own siblings that seemed to be eyeing up the pizza just a little too much to say no.

“that sounds great.” kevin smiled, admiring kind eyes that seemed to warm his body to an unusual heat. y/n’s body began to relax as she walked over and grabbed her own slice, knowing that when being surrounded by brothers it was always best to dive in before it all disappeared.

--

as time went on, y/n began to learn more about kevin and his family. the kids were playing some kind of game in another room, whilst y/n and kevin were sat on the sofa trying to get to know each other. a very tired fletcher asleep in y/n’s arms as she rocked him slowly.

“wait so you are a cop?” she asked astounded, she had never met a real life cop. in fact she had been raised to run away from them. when one showed up at her door it was either to bring back her pissed parents or to remove her and her brothers from the home. nothing good came out of the police, until now anyways.

“training to be one, yes. i’m only 19.” he chuckled, taking a short sip on the beer they had found in y/n’s fridge.

“don’t tell flynn that, he will most likely try and steal your gun or ask you questions that no 8 year old should ask.” she giggled, her brother had seen more than most which left him asking questions that received concerned but mostly confused looks. she called him their little psychopath, but underneath all that he was her little teddy bear that she had literally taken care of for all his life.

“i’ll be keeping my eye out for him, don’t worry.” he promised and he meant it. the pair were both legal guardians of their siblings while they were still teenagers themselves, they had to look out for one another, they were the only ones that understood. “what about you, what do you do?”

“i’m a waitress until 1 and then i work at the bowling alley until 7 after that i serve cocktails to rich white collars at the bar in the city.” she explained, even the explanation made her take a long and painful sip of her beer. the exhaustion had never been so agonising in her life. trying to juggle looking after her family and providing for them proved to be much more difficult than first thought, but they were family, she couldn’t give up on them.

“holy shit,” kevin breathed out, noticing the way her eyes saddened into a darker colour. a shadow of tears rising in her eyes, but quickly disappearing as she reminded herself that she didn’t have time to cry. she was the strong one. “okay then, what do you want to be doing? if you could be anything in this world what would you be?” he asked, bringing a smile out onto her face.

“i want to be a nurse,” she smiled, completely zoning out of their conversation. “i want to help people, i want to care for people, i mean i have been doing it for my entire life why not make money from it?” she giggled, as she was brought out of her trance by someone placing their hand on her’s. her eyes found themselves locked on kevin’s.

“nurse y/n, huh?” kevin smiled, lightening the mood. however as he did, the small child in the arms of his sister seemed to stir. y/n excused herself, as she stood up and walked in the direction of fletcher’s room. just as she did, the door to the room the kids were in swung open revealing a very intrigued flynn.

“hey, can i talk to you for a second?” kevin nearly missed the fact that the child was indeed talking to him. looking around and realising no one else was in the room he nodded, patting the space besides him which flynn soon took. “i think my sister likes you, dude.” flynn spoke, not even a hint of guilt in his voice as he looked towards the man that the family had literally known for a total of three hours and a half. kevin tried to hide his smile as he nodded.

“i like your sister, she’s a nice girl.”

“i don’t think you get what i’m trying to say,” for an 8 year old, he really didn’t take any shit. his look was stern as he kept his eye contact with kevin strong, only making the small child look 10 times more intimidating. “you can’t do that thing that mom and dad always do, or what harvey did, or jacob or callum. y/n needs someone that loves her and stands by her, because y/n takes care of everyone but no one takes care of y/n.” kevin could feel his chest ache as the words came out of the boy’s mouth, the hard look in his eyes softening revealing the small child that was hidden beneath the gore loving child.

“she’s a good person, huh.” he gestured towards the woman who could just be seen through the crack in the door tucking in fletcher and kissing his head softly. her hands gripping some book and the words falling off her tongue softly. both flynn and kevin sharing the same small smile.

“the best.” flynn confirmed, before patting him on the back and returning to the room. for a moment, kevin had to figure out if he had just imagined that conversation. the 8 year old spoke like a teenager, making it hard to believe that he was so young.

kevin had no desire to break his vow he had made that night and he never did.

---

present

“you know i miss the days i could actually fit into my clothes,” y/n sighed as she leaned back in the office chair looking over to hailey, who let out a giggle. hailey was the only member of the unit that y/n had found in the office, and just so happened to be her best friend. y/n’s hand rested on her rather large stomach that only kept growing, even at 8 months.

“and yet you look stunning, how do you do it?” haley asked, making y/n scoff. she looked a hot mess. she had been on maternity leave for far too long in an apartment alone until someone came home. she had been still working as a nurse until kevin convinced her that it was time to take some time off, which left her showing up the office more and more just so she could tell herself that she had done something somewhat interesting with her day.

“give it a month i will have stains i won’t be able to identify down every item of clothing and hair that i haven’t washed in weeks because i spend all my freetime sleeping.” she recalled the times she was younger and had spent sleepless nights trying to sooth fletch and flynn when they were babies. she had gone to school with far too many vomit stain to count, which only motivated the bitchy girls to point it out daily.

the sound of footsteps hitting the stairs made both of the women turning around. an immediate smile taking over y/n’s face when she noticed the tall man that shared the same grin on his face. his eyes a wild mix of excitement and affection as he quickened his pace to embrace the woman that just managed to push herself off the chair.

“hey, baby,” he greeted, pressing his lips against her’s, before he placed his hand on the bump. “what’s up little man?” he grinned, as the baby began to kick against his touch. kevin was very proud of the fact that he had the effect on the little baby.

“you never know he could be a she.” she argued back, remembering that they had specifically decided not to know the gender of the baby. kevin rolled his eyes jokingly, as he gave her an incredulous look.

“you have 4 brothers, your dad had 10 and your grandfather had 8 and you are seriously trying to tell me that the baby could be a girl.” kevin snorted, earning a light thwack from the woman that he had loved for the past decade. her eyes full of the same light as the day they had met, but y/n no longer kept her burdons locked up. she wasn’t alone anymore, she would never be alone again.

“smart a-.” she tried to speak but a sudden pain raked through her body like a wave. her hand gripped onto kevin’s as she shut her eyes, keeping her breathing calm. “holy shit.” she breathed out, catching the attention of the whole unit.

“what the- what’s happening?” kevin stuttered, watching his wife in so much pain made his heart hurt. but the not knowing made everything ten times worse. hailey walked up behind him, her hand placed on the shoulder of her best friend, as her eyes flickered to the floor. “what is it?”

“i think the baby’s coming.” y/n and hailey spoke in unison, making the soon to be father gasp for air. adam and jay were the first to react, patting kevin on the back congratulating him while hailey ran around looking for her keys.

“i’m gonna be a dad,” kevin muttered slowly, as if the last 8 months and 2 weeks had failed to indicate such a thing. “i’m gonna be a dad!” he began to get more excited until he noticed y/n still slouched over in pain, hailey rubbing her back slowly talking her through it. “oh shit, i should probably do something, what should i do?” no one had seen kevin so jittery, his eyes flicking from each person in the room before hailey chucked him the keys.

“we should probably start with the hospital, big guy.”

“oh yeah, right.” kevin agreed, taking over rubbing y/n’s back as he helped guide her down the stairs and out of the district. hailey and jay following along, ready to welcome their soon to be god child to the world. “let’s go have a baby.” kevin sang, as y/n looked up with a painful smile.

“i love you, you know.”

“i love you more.”

--

after hours and hours of kevin nervously rambling about how excited and nervous he was and hours and hours of y/n telling kevin to shut up. y/n finally began to question how her mother had gone through such a pain 5 times, however when she got to held the small child in the her arms any pain and discomfort was washed away.

“is it safe to come in?” y/n had nearly fallen to sleep when she heard the soft voice call into the room. her eyes flickered over to the door and a large smile pulled across her face and kevin’s when they noticed the familiar faces. fletcher, kai, phoenix, vinessa and jordan all stood in the door way. vinessa was clutching a balloon, while the boys were all holding onto some kind of gift for the baby.

“is the rumour true?” kai asked, as their eyes flicked over to the small baby that was resting on y/n’s chest. y/n snorted, her eyes meeting kevin who was still high up on cloud nine despite having been in the same room for the last 30 hours.

“meet evelyn vinessa atwater,” she grinned, her fingers tracing over the small boned human that she was now responsible for along with her husband. she made sure she was looking at vinessa who seemed more than stoked to be part of her niece’s name, being the first one to take steps forward to get a closer look. y/n picked up the baby and passed her over to her aunt, smiling as she noticed the love already in vinessa’s eyes.

“we have someone else that you might want to see,” kai called catching her attention as she noticed the laptop being placed on her lap. her eyes widening as she noticed the black screen morph into the face of someone she missed.

“i heard i have i officially been named the cool uncle,” y/n let out a soft sob as for the first time in the last year she saw the face of her brother. his body clothed out in camouflage print and a badge sewn into the material clearly reading ‘US ARMY’. “hey, big sis.” he greeted her. flynn had enlisted to join the army the moment he graduated from high school, much to the dismay of his sister.

it wasn’t that y/n wasn’t proud of her brother. if you had asked her 10 years ago what she thought her brother would be doing, the army would not have even passed her mind. but she knew that she couldn’t protect him when he was out in the middle east fighting for their country.

“hate to tell you, dude, but that title has already been claimed.” phoenix challenged, as he appeared besides y/n with baby evelyn in his arms. flynn didn’t hesitate to flip his older brother off, who seemed to just laugh it off.

“you doing alright out there?” y/n asked, pushing herself up slightly but hissing at the pain that lingered throughout her body. it seemed pushing a living creature out of your body wasn’t as easy as the movies made it look. her eye’s were slightly weeping as she looked at her brother who was not the same boy that she had diapered, he was a full fledged man now. she couldn’t have been prouder.

“i will be when i get home and can teach my niece how to annoy her dad.” at the mention of him, kevin appeared in  front of the camera, giving his brother in law a long stare that caused the whole room to crack up. “you know i expect the next kid to be named after me, flynnigan junior sounds cool, right?” kevin and y/n looked at each other with wide eyes, mentally telling each other that that was one of the worst ideas they had heard. hearing her brother chuckle over the line, she felt 18 again. “listen i have to go, but i will call again i promise.” y/n didn’t want to say goodbye, but she knew she had to.

“love you.” she smiled, a couple tears trickling down her face.

“love you too.” and just like that the call ended and y/n was met with her reflection. closing the laptop, she noticed that the only one’s in the room were her, kev and evelyn. looking towards kevin she didn’t have to say much, as her eyes said it all. her fingers reaching out to her daughter’s, that effortly wrapped around one.

“thank you,” y/n blurted out, looking up at kevin with nothing but love. “i don’t think i ever said thank you for saving my life all those years ago. i didn’t know it till later, but you pulled me out of the deep end before i even knew i was drowning. you changed my life, kevin atwater.”

“i love you, mrs atwater.”

“i love you too.”

[zoey-wades]

Honeymoon (King Liam x MC)

Rating: M (Drug Use, Substance Abuse, Violence, Self-Inflicted Violence)

Characters: Dark!Liam Rys x Dark!Lyra Frasier (MC) x Dark!Drake Walker

Summary: Fresh out of school and trying to figure things out, Lyra Frasier spends her weekdays going to a job she hates and her weekends in a drug fueled haze. And then she meets golden boy Liam. Lyra soon realizes that the violent underbelly of New York City’s elite may be more than she can handle.

Author’s Note: I haven’t updated this thing since uh......last year? I’m bad at making a writing schedule for myself. I think, the way TRR has been going as a series, I just haven’t had the motivation. But when I separate this world from that one, it helps a bit more. 

Honeymoon Series

ooo. Prologue.

oo1. Honeymoon.

oo2. Midnight City.

--x-- 

oo3. C.R.E.A.M. 

It was bad enough that Liam’s father was ill; he also had to be stubborn as fuck.

Liam winced as his ailing father lifted the shaking glass of whiskey to his lips, determined to keep drinking despite what the doctor and his wife told him about the effects on his body. Liam cleared his throat, earning a single passive glance from his father across the desk. 

“Oh come on,” Constantine groaned, licking the droplets of liquor from his chin, “Not you, too. I don’t need anymore shit about what I do in my free time.” 

Unwilling to take advice from those he deemed inexperienced, Constantine was an unwavering force in a world of deeply complicated decisions. Liam patiently rested his folded hands in his lap, training his expression to convey as much stoicism as he could in the given circumstance.

“You don’t seem to understand that this,” he motioned towards the glass, “is the reason why Sebastian Clark was able to fly under your radar for so long? What would’ve happened if Walker and I hadn’t figured him out? Who knows what he could’ve gotten away with--” 

“That rotten, coked out fucker,” Constantine spat with a wave of the hand, “Good riddance. I didn’t need him poisoning my ranks with his bullshit.” 

“That’s what I’m trying to explain,” Liam leaned forward in his seat, speaking slowly to emphasize his next point, “We don’t know that he hasn’t. And the fact that he was in your ranks for as long as he had should be worrisome. Who knows what else is going on that we don’t know about.”

“My men are loyal to me,” Constantine stated plainly, “One bad apple doesn’t always spoil the lot.”

At the age of 67, he’d been away from the action for quite some time. Evidence of a hard youth decorated his face and body in the form of scars and bones that didn’t quite heal correctly. Liam couldn’t remember a time when his father didn’t look tired. If he hadn’t seen a photo of a young Constantine with his own eyes, he’d believe the man just came into this world with a shock of white hair and bloodshot eyes. His stepmother half-joked that Liam’s older brother, Leo, caused their father to gray prematurely with his gambling and sex addictions.

On the other hand, Leo had to get it from somewhere.

Liam watched his father struggle to take another sip from his glass before averting his gaze to a family photo on his father’s desk. Teenage Justin and Liam sat side-by-side, unsmiling, with neatly pressed suits on in front of their equally serious fathers. Why Constantine kept that particular photo on his desk, Liam never understood. Nothing about it exuded warmth. 

“Did Justin ever talk about a girl around you?” Liam suddenly asked, refocusing on his father who swirled his whiskey in deep thought. 

“A girl?” He repeated in thought, “Once or twice. Usually he was asking advice on how to keep them tamed, you know?” 

Constantine attempted a conspiratorial smile that Liam didn’t reciprocate. 

“Did he mention any specific names?” Liam pressed on, “Or descriptors?” 

Constantine raised a brow and sat the sweating glass on a wooden coaster, “What is this about?”

What was this about? Liam wasn’t entirely sure. There was something about the girl, Lyra, that intrigued him. How was she able to dip in and out of their world so easily without leaving any footprints behind? Who did she know? 

After dropping her off back home the previous afternoon, Liam did some quick research into who she was. Aside from a few high school choir competition press reels, she was an otherwise ordinary woman. 

“Well I...” Liam chose his words carefully, “ran into Justin at the bar, talking to a girl. You know we never really see him with anyone. So I was just curious.”

There was a brief pause between the two men, and the grin returned to Constantine’s face, “A hot piece of ass, huh? Thinking of getting in there?” 

Liam said nothing, but fidgeted with the rings on his fingers. His father wasn’t technically wrong. But god damn if the wording didn’t make him feel like the grossest piece of shit. 

He decided to drop the subject for another time.

“Sorry to push us off topic, Dad,” Liam quickly corrected, “But, back to my original point...how do you know for sure Clark was the only shady one in the group?” 

Constantine considered this, tapping his pen on the wooden desktop, “What reason would I give them to turn their backs on me? I’ve been with these men for well over 30 years, I fed them,” he counted on his fingers, “clothed them, put their kids through school, made them dukes in their own respects. They made their names on my back, and they think they’re gonna fuck me over!” 

The sudden exclamation caused the man to cough violently into his arm and then into a handkerchief. Liam instinctively jumped to his feet, and rushed across the room to fetch a glass of water for his father. 

“I’m fine!” Constantine croaked, attempting to catch his breath, “I just got a bit overexcited.” 

Despite his protests, Constantine took the glass and sipped from it slowly. It hurt Liam to see his father deteriorating so quickly. A part of him felt like Constantine believed himself to be invincible. A smaller part of Liam felt like his father was simply just giving up. He had to put on an air of confidence, as he was at the top of the pyramid and could not show weakness. But as he grew older, cracks in the foundation began to form. Cracks that Liam had been working to seal. 

Liam loved his father. There was no doubt about that. But every day the work grew more difficult. Liam could almost envision the empire crumbling at his father’s feet, all because he was too stubborn to fix the loose bricks. 

As if reading his mind, Constantine sat the glass down and looked over his son, “You do know that I love you, right, kiddo?” 

There was a faraway look in his eyes, a look Liam saw once in a while. And he always wondered where Constantine went when that happened. 

“Yeah, I know, dad.”

Sadness darkened his father’s features, “Despite the issues that your mother and I had,” he cleared his throat, “I did love her. And I think you were the best thing that ever happened to me. I’m always going to be proud of you.” 

A pit formed in Liam’s stomach and he reached across to grab his father’s hand, “Hey, what are you not telling me?” 

And just like that, Constantine switched the darkness off, a confident grin returning to his face. It didn’t reach his eyes. 

“A man can’t tell his kid he appreciates him, anymore? Lighten up, Liam.” 

--x--

Liam sat in the garage of his apartment building to smoke and attempt at shuffling through his thoughts. Maybe it was counterproductive. An hour after leaving Constantine’s office, Liam learned of another potential fuck up in his father’s ranks. Someone was making trade deals on the low, and informing a rival company of some arms delivery pick up spots before they arrived for a cut of the profit. He passed the message along to Drake, who responded with the same concerns regarding Constantine’s failing leadership. 

Liam was only one man. Though he was sure he didn’t feel an ounce of the pressure his father did, the stress he felt nearly crippled him sometimes. He briefly allowed his mind to wander to Lyra and what she was doing. Did she know how much he envied her life? She didn’t answer to anyone, she could leave the city if she wanted to, she never had to constantly look over her shoulder. Lyra carried herself with the air of freedom he could only dream about. Clutching his phone in tatted knuckles, he almost considered texting her. But truly, what would he even say? 

“Hey, I know we only spoke once and you gave me your number because you wanted to pay me back for the gas (which you still don’t have to do). But what does freedom feel like?” 

Right now, Liam imagined she was laying across the secondhand sofa in some old college sweatshirt, watching YouTube, her mind a thousand miles away from him. He’d never even seen her apartment. But he had a feeling she had a lot of plants and a collection of decorated whiskey bottles on her kitchen counter. She seemed like the type. He caught himself chuckling at the thought and frowned. Ideally, he’d just let her go. He could never bring her into this world, she was too good for it. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that he could grow to like her. 

The shrill ring of his phone cut through his thoughts, sharply pulling him from a moment of escapism he didn’t even know he needed. 

“Hello?” Liam answered, attempting to mask his disappointment. 

“Idon’tknowwhathappened! Idon’tknow!” A shrill voice cried on the other end between sobs. Liam pulled the phone from his face, and realized it was his father’s assistant, Penelope, calling from an unknown number. Alarm bells went off in Liam’s head, and he turned the ignition in his car. 

“Pen, what happened?” He asked, sitting up in his seat. 

“I just came in and he was....! I don’t know what happened, Liam! I was gone for an hour!”

“What. Happened?” Liam asked, again. His heart began to thud in his ears, and he gripped the steering wheel, “Just fucking tell me. Spit it out-”

“Constantine shot himself!”

[purge-that-urge-rhackathon]

Sweet! I want to commission you for a story then. I was hoping for Rhackothy for the pairing, and this is the prompt: Jack/Tim does something impressive with their hands (cooking/gun skills/something) and Rhys notices. And then obsesses. And then is basically thirsty for their hands on him. But Jack and Tim don’t notice, (or Jack doesn’t notice at first but then catches on and starts messing with Rhys?) because they are both super busy until Rhys just finally snaps and gets what he wants.

This labeled as A Curse and a Blessing. Also on my ao3 here. I had so so much fun writing this, I had to go 2 chapters xD  See that post for all relevant tags and shit woo!! My masterlist archive of bullshit i write can be found linked at the top of the blog or here.

–

There were certain privileges to being Handsome Jack’s personal assistant, Rhys found.

The obvious things like a bigger paycheck, a nicer apartment, and bragging rights were a fun novelty that he’d quickly gotten used to. Access to executive-level information, tech upgrades, and the power that went with having Handsome Jack’s ear were among the nicer benefits that still gave him a rush over a year later.

And right now— with his cybernetic arm laying palm-up on Jack’s desk- the CEO himself was performing a delicate upgrade to Rhys’ hardware. The special attention got his blood pumping quicker for more than a few reasons.

Jack’s attitude was very much like his body: large and in charge. But while the older man might’ve enjoyed strangling the life from especial-idiots with his bare hands, he also had more refined skills. The spectrum of things Jack could do with his hands wasn’t exactly new to Rhys, but having Jack’s deep in the circuitry and wires of his forearm brought a whole new level of understanding, and with it, fantasy.

The delicate machinery and circuits inside of Rhys’ arm were handled with utmost care as the CEO manipulated the tech. Jack knew how to be careful, just like he knew how to effectively snuff out life. That Rhys was on the end of the ‘care’ spectrum definitely had him inwardly-preening, and it got his brain applying Jack’s particular handiness to other scenarios in his mind.

“Hand me that screwdriver, pumpkin,” Jack said flatly as he was focused on a wire inside his arm. This was one of the few times Jack ever wore glasses, his usual frenetic-energy centered on working with surgical precision. It wasn’t helping Rhys pay attention, rather lending more fodder to his less-than-pure daydreams about his boss.

Jack had his free hand open expectantly to Rhys as he kept his attention on the inner-mechanisms of the cybernetics. His other hand was carefully maneuvering a small purple wire around a coil with a pair of grounded tweezers, moving to see from different angles. The area the CEO was working in was delicate indeed, and if Jack really wanted to, he could cause some real damage and considerable pain without even trying (Rhys had hurt himself quite a few times tinkering).

Frankly, Rhys was impressed by Jack’s technical skills being put to use.

Those bigs hands of Jack’s had strangled more than a few necks in Rhys’ presence, and the violence he was capable of was legendary in fact and fiction. But the sheer control the older man had— the skill needed for the upgrades- made Rhys’ pulse race. Not out of fear, but of excitement.

Hands as big as Jack’s shouldn’t be able to be so careful with him. They were strong hands meant for violence. Jack’s particular brand of violence was always so messy, but this… Well… The PA found Jack’s competence distractingly attractive.

Rhys passed the screwdriver and let his mind wander further as he absently observed, watching Jack expertly manipulate the other tools in his hand. He wondered what else those skilled fingers might be capable of if put to better use. The CEO had already made a few jokes about Rhys ‘letting him put some fingers in him’, and while Rhys had rolled his eyes, it certainly gave him something to think about.

Jack was making a voluntary-override for Rhys’ surge-protection, the idea being that the younger man could store a burst of energy in his arm for later use; enough to direct an electrical-current from his fingertips.

While the idea of finger-guns being brought to a brand new level was amusing in of itself, the very-real issue of Rhys being kidnapped or taken hostage— due to his relationship to Hyperion’s CEO- only made the shock-delivery system make sense. It would only be a single shock, maybe two, but enough to bring down a potential kidnapper, and essentially a weapon that wouldn’t be detected in meetings with rival companies.

There were a few minor calibrations Jack had to do, and a few more adjustments in directing the electrical flow inside Rhys’ palm circuitry to his ring- and middle-fingers. Jack held the back of Rhys’ palm in his own while he worked, the CEO’s hand dwarfing Rhys’ cybernetic one as he cupped it.

It didn’t take much at all to imagine what it might be like if Jack curled his fingers to entwine them with Rhys’ own. The innocence of a hand-holding fantasy quickly switching up to the visualization of Jack’s larger hand pressing his into sheets. It was easy to imagine as Jack moved his hand as he worked, the firm grasp feeding back through his arm’s sensitivity receptors.

He bit his lip to bring himself back to reality, and they tested out the connections before Jack eventually closed up the paneling, and Rhys went home for the day.

Rhys was… maybe a little embarrassed that his front door was barely closed before he was palming himself on the way to the shower. He couldn’t take the thought from his mind of Jack’s large hands being put to better use on other parts of his body.

Rhys knew Jack’s hands well. The breadth of them, the general size. Especially after watching him all afternoon up close and mentally fighting the half-chub in his pants. They’d fit good around his waist. Probably be able to cup his entire ass in both hands. What would it feel like to have Jack’s warm, large hands sliding up his inner thigh? Or to feel one of those palms cupping his throat without intent to kill?

Rhys cleaned himself off in the shower with minor shame, figuring to put things out of his head as he knew Jack, and this level of infatuation after working for him so long already was ridiculous.

He couldn’t stop his dreams though, and the visions of Jack’s hands on his body— holding him, pinning him, touching him- assaulted Rhys throughout the night.

Suffice it to say, he didn’t get any rest that night, and he woke up in ruined sheets and a sense of agitation that kept him on-edge all weekend.

–

“I got you one of those caramel-foam things since you didn’t answer any of my messages,” Rhys spouted off early Monday morning as he walked into their shared office, the CEO sitting at his desk as the younger man strode in with coffee for the both of them. “And they were out of cheese bagels. We’ll have to order something in later.”

As he got closer, Rhys realized it wasn’t Jack in his seat, but Tim— the man’s body-double and sometime stand-in- and he pulled up short at his misplaced snarking. “Oh, hey! Sorry, I, uh… ha ha… thought uh….” He looked at his hands, coffee in each. It was clear who he’d thought Tim was. “Well. Would you like a coffee?”

Tim snorted as Rhys offered up the sweet concoction he’d brought for Jack, the man making a few noises of gratitude as he took a careful sip. “That is way better than the crappy instant I had this morning,” Tim said with a smirk. “Jack’s not coming in today. Obviously.”

“Sleeping-in or hungover?” Rhys prompted with a grin, sipping from his own cup as Tim chuckled and laughed as he confirmed that, yes, Jack was hungover or something, but he wasn’t even on the station right now. Probably still sleeping off the meeting-turned-party that had gone very well on Elpis.

Tim took another sip of the coffee as Rhys put his stuff away at his desk. His voice was just like Jack’s, but there was something always just a bit softer there when they were alone in the office. Tim took another sip of the sweet concoction before speaking again: “I think there’s the one echo-meeting he wanted me to do on video for payroll, but what else is on the roster for today?”

Rhys easily opened up the display of Jack’s schedule on his palm, quickly opening to the date with his echoeye and scanning through the day’s lackluster agenda. “Yeah, there’s a few things, but most of it’s just signatures and stuff or quick calls.” Rhys frowned to himself. “…he could’ve just given us both the day off too…”

Tim made an annoyed sound that Rhys agreed with wholeheartedly.

“Oh! Yeah-” Rhys began suddenly in idea, “did Jack tell you about the upgrade he did to my arm?”

A smile spread across Tim’s face. “He did, yeah, but I didn’t wanna be nosey… Is it cool?”

Rhys smirked. The differences between the CEO and his body-double were obvious if you only paid attention, and as handsome as the namesake, Rhys was indeed paying close attention. “Well… You wanna see how it works?

—

They ordered-in for lunch after the novelty of playing with Rhys’ new finger-gun wore off; noodles and vegetables and sweet and spicy chicken. Rhys used a fork to eat his while Tim expertly ate with chopsticks like it was nothing. His smoothness was enough for Rhys to comment on as they were settled in eating together at Jack’s desk.

“How’d you get so good at that?”

“A’ wha’?” Tim asked before swallowing, making Rhys smirk.

“That,” Rhys said, motioning with his fork.

“What? Chopsticks?”

“Yeah.”

“A lot of long nights eating take-out while studying in college.”

He made a show out of smoothly picking up a piece of chicken and popping it in his mouth in one completely-natural motion. Rhys couldn’t manage that type of finesse if his life was on the line.

Tim smirked and continued eating, maybe showing off a bit as it was clear Rhys was still watching. Rhys felt a mildly-excited chill go up his spine, followed by an aroused sense of shame as he realized that Tim must be just as good with his hands as Jack was knowing the CEO’s standards, and while they might be identical physically as far as Rhys knew, he’d never considered their less-showy skills might align as well.

Rhys was already scheming as thoughts of big hands on him invaded his mind, and he knew he wasn’t going to forgive himself– nor stop himself- from taking advantage of a perfect opportunity to have those identical hands on him again.

Rhys put down his fork and looked at Tim as innocently as he could otherwise pretend. “Can you show me how?”

Tim’s brows raised, and the curious expression there looked so amusingly out of place on ‘Jack’s’ face that Rhys almost wanted to laugh.

Tim sat up and dug out the other pair of chopsticks from the takeaway bag, and he moved Jack’s huge yellow chair to sit closer to Rhys to demonstrate.

“Okay, so eventually, you want to hold them like this,” Tim presented his own chopsticks in repose between his fingers. “If you do this-” Tim moved the position of the utensils, “you lose the strength at the bottom to hold anything with. If you do this-” Tim moved them again, far lower, “your hand is going to get tired and sore before you’ve even started.”

“Tell me about it…” Rhys muttered, then blushed at Tim’s laughter. He quickly got back on topic, doubling down and pursuing what he expected to be a hands-on lesson. “Okay, okay. So down the middle or whatever. Am I holding them right?” He hoped he wasn’t. He was counting on it. He ignored the thing inside him that told him he was dirty, and greatly enjoyed Tim’s hands on his own correcting the hold. Inwardly he complained when Tim fixed it and removed himself, and asked Rhys to try to pick up a piece of chicken.

While momentarily distracted by his dastardly plans to have Tim put his hands back on him, Rhys did want to actually look good, but he didn’t manage much. Tim insisted he try again, and Rhys deflected by opening his palm and asking where the chopsticks should be making contact with his skin, or if he was using the right finger muscles (did fingers even have muscles?) Rhys sure didn’t care as he made his own excuses.

“Like, let me show you what I mean, I don’t know what it’s called,” Rhys said as confidently as he could and willing away his telling blush as he took Tim’s hand and opened the palm. He shamelessly traced the inside of Tim’s hand with his thumb, asking if the ‘muscle-thing’ was supposed to touch here, or here, and should he feel the pressure of doing it right from this side of his palm or that as he traced along?

Rhys kept his eyes on Tim’s hand— not daring to meet his gaze in case Tim realized what Rhys was up to- and Tim patiently explained what parts of his hand he should be using to make the best hold, and he put them back in Rhys’ hand and had him try again.

Had Rhys not been successful this time, he was pretty sure that Tim might’ve caught him out on his ulterior motives. But he managed to pick up a piece of chicken and get it to his mouth, and for that, Tim gripped his flesh arm in an excited touch of congratulations and praised that he was a fast learner.

Rhys used the excuse of ‘practicing’ to finish his lunch with chopsticks instead of a fork, even though Tim gently teased that it would take him twice as long to finish.

That, Tim didn’t know, was the whole idea. Rhys was half-stiff in his pants as he sat there. Unnoticeable, unless he got up, but he had to admit that maybe indulging in Tim’s hands on his own– after sleepless nights dreaming of those same hands, only Jack’s, all over his body- maybe wasn’t the best idea. The half-realized boner was his punishment for indulging himself.

By the time lunch was done, he was safely able to return to his own desk and continue boring secretarial work that could’ve been done at home while Tim did much the same. He didn’t think Tim caught the interested looks he gave him as they finished off the work day, but as far as his psyche was concerned, he wasn’t going to get any rest anytime soon.

–

Jack had been in and out of the office all week, and Tim stood in more often than not for the random video call needing the CEO’s face.

Between Jack’s sudden interest in cleaning his gun at his desk when he was present, and take-out meals with Tim when Jack wasn’t, Rhys was in a hell of his own making.

The PA had been certain he was being punished by galactic karma for his dirty thoughts about Jack’s hands on him, and for the shameless touching of Tim’s own a week prior. Rhys didn’t know if he was just conscious of taking notice now, or if his fantasies had gotten just that deep under his skin, but it was like he could focus on nothing but the strength and dexterity in Jack and Tim’s respective hands.

And it only snowballed from there.

Jack became rather insistent— after Rhys’ denials of any ability- that his PA know proper gun maintenance, which then lead to an intensive lesson in structure as Jack expertly took the weapon apart, and put it into Rhys’ own hands to make him learn to properly put it back together, he’d said. Jack was already a touchy-feely type of guy, and Rhys credited sheer force of will for not outwardly-blushing as Jack moved his hands freely about Rhys’ person in his teaching. The touches were peppered with all the usual familiarity and innuendo Jack normally used with the younger man, but whatever desensitization Rhys had developed in a year working for the older man was raw and easily-excited again.

Jack would probably never let Rhys live it down if he knew he was actually hitting the mark, and Rhys had been trying to fight a hard-on the entire ‘lesson’. While it gave him more wank-material to pull into his fantasies, it wasn’t exactly lending to his quality of sleep.

Tim had stood in for Jack a few days that same week, and it was like the PA couldn’t catch a break with him either.

Tim and Rhys had gotten noodles for take-out again— so Rhys could practice, Tim pressed- and the gentle encouragement and demonstrations not only made Rhys’ chopstick skills better, but they fully aggravated his rekindled obsession for his boss and his body double.

And after that trying week, that was how— after not being properly laid in months, and fueled with more than enough reality-based fantasies in his mind- Rhys had been absolutely going to town on himself in the shower, using both hands, and toys, as he fucked and jerked himself off.

And right as he’d been enthusiastically working the Master Handsome 5000 into himself, flesh hand drifting down to tug at his cock in earnest, the worst damn thing had happened.

“The whole arm’s dead, Jack,” Rhys hissed agitatedly into his comm. He was pulling on clothes as he spoke, a long week of sleepless nights and ruined sheets making his mood go from bad to worse.

He hadn’t even gotten to come when his arm had suddenly gone dead, and the panic had been real enough to kill his hard-on.

And now all that pent-up frustration and arousal was being used to fuel his anger.

“Your arm’s dead?” Jack repeated nonchalantly. “Like, you can’t move it, or—”

“As in no movement at all,” Rhys snapped, then cleared his throat a little. He took a breath as he realized that Jack was still his boss, and he was asking him for help and probably shouldn’t be snapping at him… even if it was probably Jack’s own tinkering that had caused it, and thus in relation, was to be blamed for his current lack of orgasms. “It was fine, but then—”

“Don’t get your panties in a wad, babe,” Jack spoke into the comm like it was nothing. “Come on over and I’ll fix it for you.”

Rhys opened his mouth to say something back to that blasé tone, and then thought better of it as his exhausted mind quickly whiplashed him from thoughts of anger and resentment back into the morally-ambiguous territory of recent arousal. “…at the office?” he asked far more calmly than he felt.

“Nah, I’m already home. Got everything to make-do here.”

The anger came right back. “Jack…”

Rhys bristled at the thought of ‘making-do’, and things getting further screwed up inside his cybernetics. He was already frustrated that he’d gotten no rest all week due to filthy dreams about large, warm hands all over his body, and to top it all off, now he couldn’t even get off. Not in the way he really needed, anyways.

Jack’s own tone shifted, and something in it made Rhys’ mood shift as well.

“I can fix it, okay?” The exasperation in the older man’s voice was only shadowed by the confidence there; the promise to make it better under the tone asking for his trust.

Rhys sighed. “…Really?”

“You betcha,” Jack promised, the smirk evident over the comm. “Come on up, cupcake. I’ll leave the door unlocked for ya.”

–

Chapter 2 will be found at my ao3 :)

kofi | ao3 | commission ‘info’

[askayakashi]

Yakumo Koizumi

A/N: I need more writing for this fandom so I guess I’ll start with adding my own. Here’s a piece for everyone’s favorite professor. Please feel free to jump into my ask box with any requests!

-Admin Chey

--------------------------------

As you strolled through the street, clutching the small package to your chest, you couldn’t help but smile as you imagined giving your friend the gift you had gotten him. After asking your father and you to sit for a painting-- a study in poses, he said-- Aoi had gifted you the art, refusing to take payment for it. You had racked your brain for a way to repay him, against his insistence that there was no need, and finally stumbled across a beautiful set of wooden paint brushes that you deemed worthy of the artist. While smiling smugly down at the package, knowing he would have to accept it, you didn’t notice that you weren’t paying attention to the road until you bumped into a stranger. 

The impact caused you to stumble, almost dropping the package in your arms, but before you could feel the crash of colliding with the ground, a strong hand grabbed you by the arm, just above your elbow, and stabilized you. You were mortified at your obvious lack of caution while walking and turned around sharply to face the person.

“Pardon me! I’m so sorry. I must pay closer attention as I walk; please forgive me!” you half-shouted in alarm, bowing deeply in apology and praying that the stranger was not too upset with you. 

“On the contrary,” the familiar voice started, “I can’t imagine a happier surprise than the circumstances that led to my running into you, my Sweet Doll.” 

You straightened up as your eyes met with the crimson eyes of your father’s close friend and observed his ever-gentle smile as he teased you, “Or should I say, with your running into me?” 

You were suddenly overcome with relief-- not only was the person that you had inconvenienced not upset, but it also turned out to be Professor Yakumo, whose presence had always been a comforting one since you were a little girl. At least, that was how it used to be. Recently, the way he always seemed genuinely happy to see you would trigger a nervous fluttering in your stomach. While you always held a gentle respect and admiration for the man, you had more recently begun to develop a sense of overwhelming delight in hearing him call you by his favorite nickname for you.

Ignoring the increased pace of your heartbeat, you gave him a smile in return and greeted him cheerfully.

 “Are you out performing a delivery for your father, my Doll? Nothing would make me happier than to have the opportunity to escort you in my carriage.” 

You smiled genuinely at his kindness. Regardless of your confusing feelings for the man, he truly was the kindest man that you had the pleasure of knowing. 

“Not today, Professor. I’m actually dropping off a present for my friend at the Raccord Milk Hall.” You didn't miss the way his smiled widened slightly. You overheard him mention to your father how glad he was that you had recently seemed to be surrounded by good friends, citing that he didn’t want you to miss out on making important memories in your youth. The fact that he cared so deeply about your happiness only helped to further your admiration of him. “You see, my friend recently painted a portrait of Father and I, and I wanted to repay his kindness.” You gestured to the package in your arms and he was pleased by your declaration.

“Then it is an even greater coincidence that we are on our way to the bookstore next door to the Milk Hall. Please allow me the honour of accompanying you there.”

He offered you his elbow and you took it as he walked you to the carriage. You tried to suppress the butterflies that seemed to flutter at the thought of riding with him. It was far from the first time that you would be riding alone with the man, having often been offered rides to and from school. However, that had been before you began to notice the change in your feelings for the esteemed professor. You graciously, if not shyly, accepted his hand as he helped you into the carriage before it registered in your head that he had said “we” and not “I” when he mentioned the bookstore as his destination. You balked as you entered the carriage, realizing that you were not the only guest that he was accompanying. 

Two beautiful young women sat on one side of the cabin together, arms linked, and looked up in curiosity upon your entrance. You took a seat across from them silently as your eyes studied the floor. You had no intention of being rude, but the surge of foreign emotions that bubbled up inside your chest confused you into a stupor. The idea of jealousy was not an unknown emotion, but the disappointment that you felt weighing on you surprised you to no end. 

For a moment, you had let yourself believe that you were the only girl upon whom the professor doted so lovingly, but felt a fool when you saw the beautiful girls across from you. Of course the handsome professor was not solely smitten with a girl who was practically still a child when he could have any woman he wanted. 

“Hello,” the unexpectedly kind voice broke you out of your internal debate as you met eyes with the beauty who spoke, “I am Miyami, and this is Hiyoko.” She gestured to the girl sitting in front of you who beamed at you with a mischievous look in her eye. Miyami smiled warmly and continued, “I haven’t seen you at the university before; are you coming with us to return some books?”

Before you could answer, the professor finished speaking with the driver and gracefully climbed into the carriage, taking the remaining seat beside you. 

“I wasn’t aware that anyone else would be joining us, professor. Won’t you introduce us to your friend?” The girl sitting across from you -Hiyoko- smiled teasingly in your direction as she asked her question. You willed yourself to smile in return, but you knew it must look forced. The situation was making you uncomfortable, if only because you didn’t have the privacy to decode the different thoughts swimming around in your head. 

You couldn't help but admire the beauty of the girls in front of you: one with a lively disposition of and the other radiating kindness. You tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, suddenly feeling self-conscious of yourself.

“Ladies, allow me to introduce you to L/N F/N.” You felt your chest tighten minutely at the introduction. Something about hearing his voice say your name, rather than the nickname he always used with you, made you feel oddly distant from the man who was sitting mere inches away from you. However, this feeling was quickly swept away by a burning heat in your cheeks at the girls’ responses.

“Professor!” Hiyoko gasped excitedly, raising her hand to cover her smirk as she glanced between the two of you. Her friend continued, “I had thought you surely exaggerated her beauty when you spoke of her. But I can clearly see that is not the case.” Your cheeks burned impossibly warmer at the compliment and the insinuation that he had spoken of you often enough for the young women to know you by name alone.

“How fortunate of us to get to meet the girl with whom the professor is so smitten.” Hiyoko continued in a teasing tone, oblivious to your ever-growing blush. Glancing to the man at your side, you found him gently smiling down at you. 

“Excuse my students, Doll, it seems they have not yet learned the art of subtlety.” He chuckled pointedly as he glanced at the girl in front of you who seemed unperturbed. So these girls were his students. If you hadn’t been so dejected at the thought of him pursuing the girls in front of you, you might have noticed the western history book sitting in Miyami’s lap-- the very subject that he taught at the university.

“How lucky you are to have such a charming man as the professor pursuing your heart. I must say I almost prefer listening to him talk about you than about the western countries.”

“Hiyoko, I would wish that you don’t embarrass L/N with your exaggeration.” The professor cut the girl’s joking off with a laugh of his own. “She will think that I am incompentent a professor if she believes she is the only subject of which I discuss with my students.” Your heart lightened at the soft laughter that seemed to fill the cabin and willed your blush to cool as you spoke. 

“I do not mind much if you should speak of me to your students.” You said, trying to hold back the happiness threatening to burst out of your chest at the thought of him truly only having eyes for you. “But perhaps it is only fair if you also speak of your students to me, so that I may be on an even footing upon meeting them.” You looked into his eyes as you spoke the second half, giving him a smile to let him know you were only half-teasing.

 “L/N is quite right, Professor. That seems only fair that you also speak of Hiyoko and I to L/N.”

“Indeed,” Hiyoko agreed with a laugh. “I am wounded that you do not speak of us. Though, I cannot blame you much, I suppose, since lovers have much more interesting things to talk about.”

The girl’s words and exaggerated wink stopped your heart for a split second as you registered what she had said. The blush that had previously begun to reside returned in full force, painting your entire face a shade of red as you stuttered, “L-l-l-lovers? No, the professor and I- we’re not- er-”

Your eyes searched for his in a panic as you wondered what he had possibly been telling his students. However, ever the gentleman, the professor kindly dismissed the notion.

“Ladies, please do not offend Y/N with your assumptions.” He glanced down at you, without a hint of embarrassment in his eyes, and his gentle smile calmed your racing heart. “While it is no secret that I adore her whole-heartedly, she is still young, and has much life ahead of her to live yet before I would ask her to properly consider my feelings.” He spoke to the girls, but his eyes were locked on yours and you felt giddy at the promise in his words. He would wait for you, but he was determined to be yours, should you so choose.

You smiled shyly in return and found yourself becoming lost in his eyes, the eyes that you had spent a lifetime looking into. Eyes that congratulated you on your achievements, encouraged you in your ventures, and assured you in your convictions as you grew. The man who waited patiently and whose declarations of devotion, while oft bringing a blush to your cheeks, never made you uncomfortable. As he stared back into your eyes, the loose strand  once again slipped from the cherry blossom pin holding up your hair and he reached up and grasped the strand between two fingers, gently brushing it back behind your ear. 

It was not until you heard two synchronized sighs that you remembered you were not alone in the carriage and looked up to find the girls smiling longingly at the scene in front of them. You cast your gaze down to the package in your lap, fiddling with the strings with which it is secured, as the embarrassment swelled within you at having such an intimate moment be seen by near-strangers. 

However, Miyami seemed to notice your discomfort and skillfully changed the topic of the conversation. 

“So you never did answer my question,” She nodded to the package in my lap. “Are you also headed to the bookstore?”  

“Ah, no. I’m actually delivering a gift to a friend next door.” Glancing down at the lap in front of you, you saw the book Hiyoko was holding to be a book that you had once borrowed from Ginnoji. You excitedly asked her about it and were happy as she shared her thoughts on it. You enjoyed the conversation, but could feel Yakumo’s eyes on your the whole time, wearing a smile as he watched you excitedly converse with the girl.

Before you knew it, you had arrived at your destination and the professor helped the girls out of the carriage, offering his hand to them as they stepped out. However, when you had exited the carriage, he kept the grip on your hand and brought it to his lips. You blushed as he placed a soft kiss on your knuckles and glanced up at you from beneath his eyelashes. 

“I apologize for my students. Believe me, I had no intention of making you uncomfortable and, while I am not reserved about my feelings for you, it is not fair to expect you to be comfortable with others discussing it as well. I will ask that they refrain from doing so in the future.” His eyes held an ounce of sadness, and any embarrassment from the ride quickly evaporated as you rushed to reassure him. 

“Please, don’t apologize.” You blurted, glancing away in embarrassment before steeling yourself and looking into his eyes as you continued. “I may not know much about love, but I do know that you have always been kind to me. I have never be embarrassed by your transparency and your students are very kind. I was simply surprised to find,” you suddenly trained your eyes on the ground, no longer able to face him as you continued with your admission, “That it was not simply out of kindness for your friend’s daughter that you’ve always doted on me, but out of a genuine affection.” 

You felt shame tint your cheeks as you admitted that you had always thought his words to be a jest, but his light chuckle grabbed your attention and you trained your eyes on his smiling ones. 

“Your candor is one of the many qualities of yours that I find myself ever moved by.” He seemed overjoyed by your admission of finally accepting his feelings to be genuine, his eyes shining with a brightness you had never seen. Suddenly, something over your shoulder caught his eye and his expression became amused.

“Now, I’m sure you must be eager to deliver that gift to your friend.” He abruptly changed the subject, releasing your hand. You let it fall to your side, tensing your fingers at the strange emptiness that came with the loss of his touch. “It was, as always, a blessing to find myself in your company today.” He bowed his head softly but found your eyes again. “However, I do have one parting request if you would be so kind as to indulge me?”

You felt your eyebrows raise in question and you tilted your head quizzically as he continued.

“When you are with me, you needn’t call me Professor.” The corners of his eyes crinkled with the strength of his smile.  “There is nothing I want more than to be able to hear my given name on your lips. ” 

Your heart began to beat erratically and the butterflies in your stomach returned in full force as you stuttered out a reply. 

“Yes, Prof-er I mean--” You glanced away as you finally stuttered out his name in a whisper. “K-ko-Koizumi.” 

You swore you heard a quiet gasp, but when you met his eyes again, his sweet smile had returned.

“Enjoy your evening, my Sweet Doll. I look forward to the next time I can be graced with your presence.” 

With a final dip of his head, he turned into Ginnojo’s store. You saw the book-lender himself speaking quietly with Miyami, a blush gracing both of their faces as you turned toward Raccord’s front door only to find Oji-san out front with his pipe. 

“You sure do have him wrapped around your finger,” He teased as you walked by him, feeling even the tips of your ears burning with a blush. Just as you glanced up to ask him about Aoi’s whereabouts, the boy in question descended the stairs and glanced up at you. 

You hoped against hope that presenting the gift to the boy in front of you would distract him from your current abashed state, but even without using his powers, he couldn’t ignore the color that dusted your cheeks.

“Why the hell is your face so red? Do you have a fever?” Ever the mother hen, Aoi huffed in exasperation as he grabbed a glass from behind the bar and filled it with water. “Why would you come all this way if you’re not feeling well?” He sat it down in front of you and placed the back of his hand to your head before putting his hand on his hip. “What’s going on?”

You ignored the soft snicker behind you of Oji-san trying to hold in his laughter and focused on the task at hand, holding his gift out to him, vowing to let yourself think about the events of the day once you’re home in bed where no one can see your blush.

[nadziejastar]

I don’t mind if Skuld meets up with Lea and Isa, as a friend. I just not looking forward to the writers pushing Skuld/Isa romantically. She barely had any screen time with him, and it would feel forced and infuriating. I’m fine with it if she’s meeting them again and getting to know each as FRIENDS, but I know the writers have a different idea. Honestly, there’s probably gonna be ship wars between Isa/Skuld and IsaLea.

Yeah, it does feel like they are going to push Isa/Skuld romantically, at least from Isa’s end. When I heard Lea and Isa’s backstory in KH3, I was totally incredulous. I knew it was total B.S. Like, it was just so contradictory to everything we saw previously, I didn’t buy it for one second. Like, who did they think they were kidding?

But even besides the bad retconning, it had such an awful effect on both Isa and Lea as characters. It was a horrible idea to make a mystery girl Isa’s motivation, let alone his potential love interest. That’s going to fuel terrible shipping wars. I have noticed that the worst shipping wars tend to happen because of bad writing. When the canon relationships are well-written, there is not as much controversy and toxicity.

Isa/Subject X Is A Horrible Pairing

Saïx: Back when we were still friends, we used to sneak into the castle.

Lea: Yeah.

Saïx: And we made a friend there, a girl. We apprenticed to Ansem the Wise to rescue her.

Subject X hasn’t had ANY screen time with them. She was just mentioned out of nowhere. Now all of a sudden, they were apprentices and doing everything in Organization XIII for her? And I love how Saïx is so casual about how they used to be friends. Nice to see how much you valued your friendship with Lea there. He talks like he couldn’t give less of a shit that they’re no longer friends.

Geppetto: Pinocchio! Pinocchio! Please! Give me back my son!

Riku: Sorry, old man. I have some unfinished business with this puppet.

Geppetto: He’s no puppet! Pinocchio is my little boy!

Riku: He is unusual. Not many puppets have hearts. I’m not sure, but maybe he can help someone who’s lost theirs.

In KH1, Riku was a huge asshole. It didn’t matter that he was trying to help Kairi. He kidnapped Pinocchio right in front of his pleading father and he wanted to steal his heart.

Axel: You’re sure things are better this way?

Saïx: I never expected you to question it. If you could save one of them…why would you choose the puppet? Or put it this way. Which would you rather suffer the loss of: some make-believe friendship, or a real one?

Saïx was also a huge asshole. He constantly dehumanized Xion and called her broken, defective, and “it”. He wanted to destroy her and didn’t care that Axel considered her a close friend. If you make finding Skuld his motivation, you are confirming that he was aware of his actions the whole time. If he had enough empathy to care about Skuld, why was he so cruel to Xion and Roxas? Why did he not feel bad for kidnapping Kairi, and trying to kill Sora and Riku?

Sora: Hey, let Pinocchio go, Riku.

Riku: A puppet that’s lost its heart to the Heartless… Maybe it holds the key to helping Kairi. How about it, Sora? Let’s join forces to save her. What? You’d rather fight me? Over a puppet that has no heart?

Sora: Heart or no heart, at least he still has a conscience.

Riku: Conscience?

Sora: You might not hear it, but right now it’s loud and clear. And it’s telling me you’re on the wrong side!

Riku: Then you leave me no choice.

In KH1, the message was clear: it’s wrong to join the villains, and steal people’s hearts, even for a girl. They’re the actions of a villain.

Kairi: You know, Riku has changed.

Sora: What do you mean?

Kairi: Well…

Sora: You okay?

Kairi: Sora, let’s take the raft and go—just the two of us!

And let’s face it: Riku was NOT presented as an appealing love interest for Kairi in KH1.

Lea: Yeah, and we failed. One day she was just gone!

Saïx: You gave up.

Lea: I did not give up. One day we’re apprentices, the next Ansem the Wise has up and vanished, the day after we’re Nobodies, the day after that we’re doing icky jobs for Xemnas. I couldn’t keep up with you.

Saïx: Following Xehanort’s Nobody was the only way to discover what happened to her. She was his lab rat.

Lea: So? You found her? I helped you rise up the ranks, so I hope it paid off?

Following Xemnas’ icky orders without any remorse doesn’t make Isa more sympathetic, nor does it help us support a possible romance between them. And why is Lea so nonchalant about this? He helped Saïx rise through the ranks, and he hopes it all “paid off?”

Are you crazy!? Of course it didn’t pay off!!! Your best friend sold his soul to the devil and is a Seeker of Darkness! He has yellow eyes and pointy ears. He’s corrupted by darkness! He lost his heart to Xehanort! And you think it might have paid off!? What the hell is wrong with you!? Do you not care about your friend at all?

Sora: Riku, why are you siding with the Heartless?

Riku: The Heartless obey me now, Sora. Now I have nothing to fear.

Sora: You’re stupid. Sooner or later they’ll swallow your heart.

Riku: Not a chance. My heart’s too strong.

Sora: Riku…

Riku: I’ve picked up a few other tricks as well. Like this, for instance. You can go see your friends now. Let’s get under way, already. And keep Sora away from Kairi until we’re ready to land.

When Sora hears that Riku joined the dark side to save Kairi, he says he is stupid!!!! He cares about Kairi, too. But he’s afraid Riku’s heart will be swallowed by darkness. He’s worried for his friend, and rightfully so! Besides, Kairi wouldn’t want that. Lea would have said the same thing if he was a true friend.

Saïx: I’m afraid not. Nary a trace. I started to wonder if we’d imagined her. Maybe she never existed. And then in time I awakened to a new purpose. I realized I could be stronger.

Okay…? So now all you wanted was to become stronger? It wasn’t about the girl? It was about power? First off, I don’t buy that at all. But whatever. Let’s go with it for argument’s sake.

Ansem: The heart that is strong and true shall win the Keyblade.

Riku: What? You’re saying my heart’s weaker than his?

Ansem: For that instant, it was. However, you can become stronger. You showed no fear in stepping through the door to darkness. It held no terror for you. Plunge deeper into the darkness, and your heart will grow even stronger.

Riku: What should I do?

Ansem: It’s really quite simple. Open yourself to the darkness. That is all. Let your heart, your being become darkness itself.

Isa is basically KH1 Riku. It wasn’t even about saving Kairi at that point. It was about being stronger than Sora and gaining power. This tempted Riku to open himself up to darkness. He sold his soul to Ansem after he lost to Sora! This makes Saïx more sympathetic how?

Saïx: The marks under your eyes. They’re gone.

Lea: Yeah. Don’t need ‘em.

Saïx: Always told you they’d stop you from crying. The upside-down tears.

Apparently Saïx has “always” been a condescending douchebag…

Riku: It’s up to me. Only the Keyblade master can open the secret door…and change the world.

Sora: But that’s impossible. How did this happen? I’m the one who fought my way here with the Keyblade!

Riku: You were just the delivery boy. Sorry, your part’s over now. Here, go play hero with this.

You know who else was a condescending douchebag? KH1 Riku! He kidnapped Belle, taunted the Beast, took the Keyblade from Sora, and then threw him a wooden toy while he was wallowing on the floor as Donald and Goofy left him. The difference is, Riku was a condescending asshole when he was a villain—the very beginning of his arc in the Dark Seeker Saga. Saïx is a condescending asshole during his “redemption”—the very end of his arc in the Dark Seeker Saga.

Lea: I didn’t forget you.

Saïx: Yes…I know. You wouldn’t do that. But…I was jealous.

Lea: You admit it.

So, what is his excuse? Why is he still allowed to party with everyone in the epilogue? Well, instead of being a victim of Xehanort in need of rescue, Saïx was just mad that Lea forgot about him and Subject X. And I love how Lea acted like he knew the entire time that he was jealous, and was just being too stubborn to admit it. I’m sorry, I gotta call B.S. again.

And yet, Axel couldn’t keep the sarcasm out of his response. “Well, nice to know where I stand.”

He said it with a grin, but the hint of a frown tugged at the scar between Saïx’s brows. Apparently, the joke wasn’t very funny. “You made it back in one piece, didn’t you?”

Were you worried I wouldn’t? Axel almost said, but he didn’t want to deal with putting him in an even fouler mood. Disgust and rage seemed to linger closest to the surface of Saïx’s memories.

Axel didn’t know Saïx was “jealous”. He was desperate to find any evidence Saïx had feelings for him at all. On ~Day 72 Change~, Axel finally returns from Castle Oblivion. Roxas said he was worried about him, and Axel was upset that Saïx wasn’t. He is sad about how much his friend has changed. But let’s assume that was the truth. Let’s say that all of Saïx’s abuse in Days was him acting passive aggressively due to his petty jealousy over Axel hanging out with a couple of kids.

Maleficent: Why do you still care about that boy? He has all but deserted you for the Keyblade and his new companions, after all.

Riku: I don’t care about him. I was just messing with him a little.

Maleficent: Oh, really? Of course you were. Beware the darkness in your heart. The Heartless prey upon it.

Riku: Mind your own business.

Sora: Riku! What’s the matter with you? What are you thinking? Don’t you realize what you’re doing?

Riku: I was about to ask you the same thing, Sora. You only seem interested in running around and showing off that Keyblade these days. Do you even want to save Kairi?

Riku always used Kairi as a shield when he was bullying Sora. “Don’t you care about Kairi?” In reality, Riku was bitter that Sora made new friends. Yeah, he was trying to help Kairi. But she was just an excuse. He was being petty. It also seemed like he only became so hellbent on rescuing her, because he wanted to one-up Sora. The way KH3 was written, it also felt like Saïx was just using that girl as a cover for his own resentment of Lea. It didn’t seem like he genuinely cared about her very much. She was just a convenient scapegoat.

Right…this little room that Maleficent had made up just for me. I stayed here in this castle, except when I went to Captain Hook’s ship to get Kairi. And when I was here I spent most of that time in this room. Swinging a sword…reading books…and what else?

Thinking about things that upset him. He’d been angry at something. He’d believed it was his fault that Kairi was in that state…but he told himself that it wasn’t a mistake to have gone to other worlds and gently touched her face as she slept.

In KH1, they didn’t have an entire saga planned for the story. And it’s clear that Riku was originally written simply as a villain for the first game. An arrogant, jealous, bully who wants to steal your girlfriend. He has a weak heart that is prone to darkness. After they decided to make more games, they wanted to make Riku a main character. And so they focused on him being Sora’s best friend instead of his bully/rival. They tried to humanize his actions from the first game in the novel for CoM. They emphasized his his strong affection for Kairi as his motivation, and the reason for him turning to darkness. And...it didn’t work. He strokes her face while she’s sleeping. 

All this did was make Riku seem creepy. To be honest, Riku always seemed creepy to me in KH1, even when I first played it as a 14-year-old. This is why they distanced themselves from that interpretation of Riku’s character. Terra became the reason he wanted to see the outside world, not Kairi. But now, this this what they want Isa to be like? He willingly joins someone he knows is evil, gladly follows their orders, and tries to murder his best friend…just so he can get his hands on the object of his affection? Someone he doesn’t even know? That comes off as creepy. And stalker-ish. They’re going backwards regarding positive character portrayals.

Lea: Stop it. The whole act. I thought this was all for her.

First of all, this is B.S.

“Shouldn’t you already be out on your mission, Axel?” Saïx interrupted.

Mission? Saïx hadn’t given him his assignment yet. Axel blinked up at him, and Saïx stared back. Oh. Axel felt a little bit sorry for Saïx and his inability to lie.

Saïx could not act to save his life.

Saïx: At first. I sacrificed everything to try and track her down. You’re the one who went off and made other friends. Left me and her both in the dust. It infuriated me how you just exited our lives. I lost…all sense of purpose.

Saïx never showed any kind of human emotion except disgust. He was by far the most Nobody-like Organization member. But he feels such rage after Axel leaves, that he tries to kill him over and over again. His best friend. All because he was jealous that Axel made new friends with a couple of children who didn’t treat him like shit? That makes him sympathetic how?

Saïx: Do you know what happens to those who lose their true purpose? Inevitably, they destroy themselves.

And why is he so violent to Axel anyways? In his own words, when you lose your true purpose, it makes you inevitably destroy yourself. So why is he trying to destroy Axel and not himself?

"And we still haven’t found out where Axel went?” said Xaldin.

Saïx scowled with displeasure at the name.

It would make sense if Isa’s heart lost all sense of purpose and wanted to fade away after Axel left. And it would make sense if Saïx was not aware that it was Isa’s heart making him feel suicidal. 

“What are you doing here?” The Claymore materialized in Saïx’s hand. “Foul traitor—”

“No, Saïx,” said Xigbar, glaring hard at Axel.

“What have you come for?” With rage barely contained under every word, Saïx stalked toward Axel.

It would make sense if Saïx felt Isa’s despair and took it out on Axel in a psychotic rage. He was so unhinged, even Xigbar had to stop him from attacking Axel.

Riku: Quit while you can.

Sora: No. Not without Kairi.

Riku: The darkness will destroy you.

Sora: You’re wrong, Riku. The darkness may destroy my body, but it can’t touch my heart. My heart will stay with my friends. It’ll never die!

Riku: Really… Well, we’ll just see about that!

KH1 Riku also tried to kill Sora when he was consumed with darkness. Goofy shields him from Riku’s attack. It didn’t matter that Riku had the Keyblade. Donald and Goofy chose to stay with Sora because he was on the right side and Riku was not.

Lea: Well, then, you blew it! Wise up already and just quit.

Um, its not that simple, Lea. You see when you have Xehanort’s heart implanted, you are consumed by it. You become one of his 12 selves. Your true heart and consciousness has to be put to sleep in order for Xehanort to turn you into a vessel.

Mickey: There’s something real strong that binds us to each other. Even in the darkness, you can reach him. All you gotta do is follow that connection!

Goofy: Gee, we’re all connected to Sora.

Donald: You said it!

Lea: And if the darkness gets ya, I promise I’ll bail you out. “Dark Rescue” is my middle name.

Riku: Guys, thank you. Sora and I will be back soon.

You should know this already after they almost made Sora the 13th vessel and Riku had to go save his heart afterwards. They didn’t ask Sora to fill out a résumé before they hired him as a vessel. Presumably they didn’t ask Isa, either. You can’t just quit. You couldn’t even leave the original Organization willingly. You’d be turned into a Dusk. But Lea thinks he should just quit…

Lea: Would you get lost? I’ll clobber you tomorrow.

Saïx: I expect no less.

This is how you act after you find out your best friend has been turned into Xehanort’s vessel? You want him to get lost and can’t wait to clobber him?

Sora: What? You… You’re not Riku.

Riku: The Keyhole cannot be completed so long as the last princess of heart still sleeps.

Sora: The princess…? Kairi’s a princess?

Riku: Yes, and without her power, the Keyhole will remain incomplete. It is time she awakened.

Sora: Whoever you are, let Riku go! Give him back his heart!

Sora knew Riku wasn’t acting like his old self. And neither was Isa. Axel complained CONSTANTLY about how much he had changed. When Sora learned the truth, he wanted Xehanort to let his friend’s heart go.

Young Xehanort: To move through time, you must leave your body behind. Ansem first sent me on my way, and then placed himself here when the time was right. That was what set all these events in motion.

Sora: What are you saying? That he knew everything that would happen?

Young Xehanort: No, not everything. But remember, Ansem possessed Riku and saw his experiences in real time.

The reason Riku acted like a sociopath is because he was possessed. BBSV2 would have gone into more detail and made Riku more sympathetic by showing how Xehanort’s heart took control of him from the very start. That’s why in KH3D, they showed Young Xehanort reach out his hand to Sora, causing him to have a flashback to when Riku did it in KH1.

Riku was being influenced by Xehanort’s heart for the entirety of KH1. If Saïx was possessed, then Xehanort also saw his experiences in real time. That’s why he always knew what Axel and Saïx were planning and why he didn’t stop them. It provided him with too much valuable information.

Saïx: Why…so sad?

Lea: You let them reduce you to this?

Even though his friend was supposed to be possessed, Lea isn’t the slightest bit sympathetic. He’s disgusted at him for bringing it on himself. After he’s defeated, he turns his head and can’t even look at him.

Aerith: No wonder there are more and more Heartless everywhere. The only way to stop them is—

Sora: Seal the Keyhole, right?

Leon: Maybe. But no one knows what will happen once it’s sealed.

Sora: Well, we can’t just stay here. We have to do something. I’ve got a friend back there.

After Sora defeated the possessed Riku, he wanted to go back and rescue him from Xehanort’s clutches.

Saïx: Well, if I make it back…you won’t get it out of me a second time.

Lea: See you, Isa.

Saïx: See you, Lea.

After Isa is finally freed from Xehanort’s control, there is no sincerity to his confession of jealousy. No apology for trying to kill Lea. No heart-to-heart conversation about everything they went through as kids. Isa is just an asshole, telling Lea that he won’t hear an apology from him a second time. Then it’s just “see ya”. And they’re magically friends again.

It was Naminé’s drawing of Roxas and Axel, standing side by side. “You’re best friends,” she said.

Right. Those two had been friends—well, Axel believed they still were. Roxas was his only friend and his best. And Axel was the same for Roxas—probably.

Axel states multiple times that Roxas was his only friend. After everything that happened between them, Axel to stopped thinking of Isa as his friend.

On the sofa opposite him, Naminé spoke up instead. “Sora and Riku are best friends.” Axel’s eyes crinkled as he remembered his own best friend—the only friend he’d ever had, in fact.

But more than that. Roxas was the only friend he’d ever had. He considered that Isa was never his friend in the first place. That’s how badly Axel was hurt by his relationship with Saïx. That’s how betrayed he felt.

“…Riku…” Sora looked up, holding tight to his friend’s hand. “It’s Riku… Riku is here.” He knew that it was Riku’s hand he clasped. It was bigger than the one he’d held a thousand times before, but in his heart, Sora felt it.

A knot of something he could barely define swelled in his chest. Clinging to that hand, to Riku’s hand, Sora fell to his knees. “I was looking for you…!” Tears spilled over and flowed down his cheeks as he pressed Riku’s hand against his face.

How long had he been searching? How badly had he wanted to see Riku, to talk to him again? And Riku was here. Here at last. I found you. Finally. I missed you. I’ve missed you for so long…

They’d been separated on Destiny Island, then they ended up fighting, and then they’d gone through that door together from opposite sides…and he’d been searching, searching for Riku all the while.

“C’mon, Sora,” Riku chided him lightly. “Keep it together.”

Riku allowed himself to be locked behind the Door to Darkness, and he sacrificed his appearance to save Sora. When Sora and Riku finally reunite, Sora was overcome with emotion.

Riku: What I said back there…about thinking I was better at stuff than you…To tell you the truth, Sora… I was jealous of you.

Sora: What for?

Riku: I wished I could live life the way you do. Just following my heart.

Sora: Yeah, well, I’ve got my share of problems, too.

Riku: Like what?

Sora: Like…wanting to be like you.

Riku: Well, there is one advantage to being me… Something you could never imitate.

Sora: Really? What’s that?

Riku: Having you for a friend.

Sora: Then I guess…I’m okay the way I am. I’ve got something you could never imitate too.

Compare Lea and Isa’s final conversation to Sora and Riku’s reconciliation at the end of KH2. The latter have a genuine talk where they gain insight into each other’s feelings. There is forgiveness and mutual respect. They are able to empathize with each other and grow closer as a result. Lea and Isa were turned into a cheap knockoff of Sora and Riku from KH1.

Only they forgot to actually, ya know, redeem Isa and show that he was possessed like they did with Riku. And unlike Sora, Lea became less concerned with his friend’s well-being after finding out he was possessed. Based on canon, I don’t know why they were even friends to begin with. And why are they friends again now? They don’t get along, they don’t seem to like each other, and they don’t act like they care about each other at all. But now Subject X is going to come along and be part of a healthy trio and have a possible romantic subplot with Isa? Yikes.

[dontnessw-me]

;;   okay, but ... seriously talking now, let me just - say a few things here about Ness. Yeh, lemme just ... blurt out some HCs I have of him, m’kay? I have MANY HCs of him and these have developed through the years ; some have changed but my portrayal of Ness has always stayed the same. 

!!   These HCs are my own interpretation of Ness, his backstory and family, all exclusively made by me and not related to in-game content unless otherwise stated. Don't steal them :>   !!

I’ll divide it into   “ chapters ”   , so that it’s easier to find the topics.

INDEX 1. Ness’ Family   ( parents, sibling, pet ) 2. Ness’ Family   ( mother’s side ) 3. Ness’ Family   ( father’s side ) 4. Ness’ Family   ( others ) 5. Significant Other   ( Lucas ) 6. Ness   ( a li’l bit about my portrayal of him )

1. NESS’ FAMILY   ( parents, sibling, pet )

To start from the roots, RPing with a Ninten or Ana muse has always been a struggle for me because I HC them to be his parents   ( I assume that everyone has figured it out now because I leave hints and I make it SO obvious )   . It’s so obvious because you would often read in my threads that his mother is Christian or that his father is also a baseball enthusiast but because of his asthma he had to adjust to a different profession. The reason why I don’t straight-up say it is because I know that not many people share this HC and I know that it also makes them uncomfortable - and also because I don’t want my askbox full of asks like   “ but it’s impossible for Ninten and Ana to have a kid in 199X ”   -- so I leave hints rather than saying the actual thing.

!!   Of course, this doesn’t mean that I won’t interact with any Ninten or Ana muses, but understand that it’ll be a bit hard for me since, from my point of view, it’ll be Ness seeing their parents in their childhood   !!

NESS’ FATHER :   It’s canon that Ness’ father works at a hamburger industry as manager   ( his chain of restaurants is called Ness’ Burger - so imagine the embarassment from Ness in seeing these fast-foods with his name on it as he walks down the streets with his friends   and / or   significant other . uugh )   ; I also HC that, because of the job keeping him busy, he returns home during week-ends and holidays. - Also, on an important side-note, he paid back the loan to the Minches!! But they would still hold a grudge on him and on Ness’ family because it took him a while to pay it back  ( my HC )   . - Ness’ father is ... a dork, really. Ness has probably inherited his playful side from him. He’d sit at dinner and crack jokes out of the blue and because they’re so sudden it’s always entertaining.

NESS’ MOTHER :   she likes drama, it’s canon. And I HC that Ness took it from her, since you’ll sometimes see him watch soap-operas either alone or with her, or even discuss about characters and their role with his mother. He doesn’t really like to show that he has a certain fondness for drama, so he tends not to say anything about it or keep it hidden. - Mama is a skilled cook and everyday feels like Thanksgiving dinner. Every meal she makes is made with love   ( she sometimes leaves little edible decorations on each plate, or when making bentos she makes sure to put only the food Ness likes, included apple slices shaped like bunnies! )   and will always spoil her children with their favourite food and treats. - Mama is a sweetheart. You’d see her kiss her children’s forehead goodnight everyday even if they’re older, at some point. It doesn’t matter, she’ll forever show them unconditional love regardless   ( points at 18 years old Ness having to bend his torso a little forward so that his mother can kiss his forehead bc hE TOWERS OVER EVERY FAMILY MEMBER WHHH--- )

!!   Both of his parents know and can use PSI   ( Ness has inherited it from them )   , but they never use it in public   and / or   in front of their   children / family .   !!

!!   They haven’t told their kids about their own adventure or about   Giygas / Giegue   but they will when Ness is older   ( when he’s approximately 16-17 )   , because it’s a topic that must be said quietly and with full comprehension. The reason why they haven’t said it yet is because ... they wanted to live like a normal happy family   ( and because they seriously thought that it really was over, although it ended with   Giygas / Giegue   leaving on his ship )   .   !!

NESS’ SISTER :   The game doesn’t tell you how old Tracy is but it makes it clear that she’s younger than Ness, so I HC her to be at least four years younger than him.   The game canonically has her work at a delivery agency, so that she can help Ness   store / deliver   his items and she quits the job only after Ness defeats Giygas. - I HC that she wasn’t born with PSI but with an impressive intelligence for someone her age. She’s a child, of course, but she already seems to know how the world spins. - I HC that, when she’s more or less Ness’ age   ( 13 yo )   , she starts delevoping a soft crush towards Picky Minch, their neighbor, and because of it Ness grows incredibly jealous towards her and begins to sound bratty when Picky is around or when he’s mentioned in a conversation.   It’s something that any sibling does, no? Squinting when your sister’s crush is home, mmm... - Ness combs and braids her hair before she leaves for school.

!!   Because of Tracy unable of using PSI - and also because of a matter of good manners - the family has set some sort of   ‘ rule ’   in which no one will read each other’s mind nor use PSI between family members.   This rule is for now for Ness only since both him and his sister don’t know that their parents can use PSI   !!

NESS’ PET :   Okay, so ... for King I have several HCs bc the game tells you literally nothing about him   ( only that he’s lazy and unreliable )   . I HC that King is a Mastiff Tibetan, three years older than Ness. Yes, I HC him to be a very big doggo, yes. - Ness’ parents have adopted him when he was only three weeks old and a few months after Ninten’s dog, Mick, passed away. The puppy was nameless for two days   ( he had silly nicknames like Mick II or Mick-on-all-fours since Ninten’s dog was capable of standing on two legs for a long time )   , until Ana playfully placed a crown made with carton box on the puppy’s head and called him King. - The puppy grows strong and big and he becomes a well adored family member ; he gets to be part of many events happening in the family’s life : he meets Ness for the first time folded in a blanket and sleeping in a cradle. During the child’s growth, King was always there, making sure that the kid would avoid getting in trouble when Ana or Ninten were looking away ; he became a sort of nanny, yes - even making sure that he slept enough. - Because Ness could only mutter words   and / or   broken sentences in his early years, saying King was a little hard for him ; he used to call him Pooch and this nickname kinda stayed as he grew up. - King begins to speak with the family almost right away when he’s adopted   ( only people with telepathy can, of course, hear him )   ; so, I kinda like to think that King has also helped Ness to speak when he was a toddler. //   it startded as a joke but then became canon in the blog : King will be part of the family’s events for a pretty long time even though he’s now 16 years old ; he’s developed a certain fondness towards the family and he will stay alive as long as his body will let him. And let me tell you ... he’s going to stay for a very long time, still.   //

2. NESS’ FAMILY   ( his mother’s side )

I don’t have many HCs for Ness’ grandparents from his mother side, individually speaking. I’m still working on it. But they get to visit the family every now and then, especially during the holidays.

NESS’ GRANDMOTHER :   she lives with her husband in a snowy town away from Ness’ homeland. 

NESS’ GRANDFATHER :   he’s a priest living with his wife in a snowy town away from Ness’ homeland.

3. NESS’ FAMILY   ( his father’s side )

NESS’ GRANDMOTHER :   Carol’s character is very similar to Ness’ mother ingame. She also likes to cook and because of it I like to think that she lends a helping hand in the kitchen when the family is reunited for the holidays. - When she visits she always brings gifts for the family, plus a few homemade delicacies.

NESS’ GRANDFATHER :   he works full-time in a business agency and lives with his wife Carol in Podunk, a town away from Ness’ homeland. At first glance he looks secretive but he’s in truth a dork, really ; Ninten has probably inherited his playful side from him, but unlike him his playfulness is controlled and limited.

!!   Both his grandparents can’t use PSI.   !!

NESS’ AUNTS :   Aunt Mimmie and Aunt Minnie are Ninten’s twin sisters. They’re not married   ( yet )   and they’re currently both single   ( Ness thinks it’s their choice but who knows )   ; Ness doesn’t really get to see them often but only during Christmas or Thanksgiving, New Years as well. - They travel a lot, sometimes on their own and sometimes they travel together. - They’re both professional photographers with their own site where to share their shots. Writing books and novels is considered a hobby for them, even if their publications are famous all around the world. - They share an apartment together but it’s almost always empty because they’re always outside or traveling. - When the family wants to book a vacation somewhere away from Onett, Ness’ aunts are both willing to book tickets for them and plan their vacation   ( Ana doesn’t say anything, they just do it )   . - They keep in touch with their brother almost everyday. They’re probably the ones who stay the most in contact with the family, tbh ...

4. NESS’ FAMILY   ( others )

This section is about Ninten’s and Ana’s friends who are not related to them in any way but because they’re their close friends, they’re included in the family. Ness grew up calling them   uncle / aunt   .

TEDDY   ( uncle )   :   When Ness was only a kid, he would admire Teddy those rare times he would visit and even define him the   ‘ cool uncle ’   ;  - He owns a couple of CDs made by Teddy, which he listens to every now and then ; the genre is enjoyable and his songs have a good rhythm. The lyrics are strong and powerful : some songs tell a bit about himself, while others  ... he can’t tell ; - Every time Teddy releases a new CD, a copy is sent to Ness two days before its actual release date. - Teddy is also the owner of his family’s repair shop of which he was named after, but because of his singer career he hired someone else to run the store.

LLOYD   ( uncle )   :   Ness doesn’t know that much about him ; his parents say that he used to visit more frequently when he was a baby, but he got busier and busier with his studies and experiments that nowadays it’s very rare to see him in person.  - Lloyd grows to be a successful scientist. He, every now and then, writes books about his theories and experiments, and sometimes he can be seen on TV on one of those scientific channels, guest of an interview or merely stating facts and thesis about a specific argument   ( we could say that that is the only time Ness gets to see him )   . // no, I don’t HC that Lloyd is Dr. Andonuts merely because Dr. Andonuts is way older than how Lloyd should be in Earthbound, despite the both of them hiding in trashcans, wearing round glasses or having   white / gray   hair. //

PIPPI   ( aunt )   :   okay, comin’ up with something for Pippi was a bit of a struggle, but I like to think that she’s become a professional painter ; she’s energetic, creative and she likes to give life to a thought through colours on a canvas. - She likes to visit   quiet / abandoned   places to find inspiration, to then paint her own versions of these places visited. Her paintings are famous for the feelings they convey and for the breathtaking and realistic colours she uses. - she would also paint portraits ; she has a few of Ness and his family and it progressively expands as she meets new people   ( there is also a portrait of Lucas but it’s still a work in progress )   . - when she visits   ( some days when she’s free or during the holidays )   , it’s always a good occasion to take a few pictures to paint later. - she he loves when Ness shows her pictures of Tazmily. In fact, she has painted various landscapes of the village already, though she would like to visit it herself one day. - Farms and quiet villages are often protagonists of her paintings. - she uses brushes, fingers, palms and elbows to draw. Yes, she has her own ways, go figure ... 

5. NESS’ SIGNIFICANT OTHER

Lucas   ( it’s canon in this blog )   :   they met in the Smash tournaments and have clicked almost immediately thanks to their similarity and thanks to the fact that they both share PSI abilities.   Outside of the Smash tournaments, they’re in a long-distance relationship   ( Lucas’ timezone is six hours behind Ness’ )   ; - Ness pays him a visit every weekend by teleporting to his village -- only during the weekend because Ness has school during the other days and can’t find free time between his homeworks. - When he gets to Tazmily, however, he must rest for at least two hours or so   ( bc, hey, it’s like you’re taking a 15+ hours flight :0 let him rest ) .  //   One thing I want to point out is that Ness is aged up to 16 years old to make it easy for me to RP very soft romance ; very soft romance as in ... they hold hands, hugs and barely kiss cheeks :’)   //

This Lucas’ interpretation is pk-lovely’s ♥

6. NESS

Most of his description is a HC of mine, I'm stating when things are canon in-game anyway.

His full name is Ness Yusha Omoto   ( Yusha is his middle name for   ' brave '   given by his father when he was born )   . If we consider his mother's last name, his full name would be Ness Yusha Hayes Omoto, but we'll just go with the first one. - It’s canon that he was born with PSI. His parents found out when the baby bottle started to move on its own. He taught himself most of his PSI by starting with recovery ones when he fell of a bike and scraped his knees.  Later on as he grew up, he taught himself more useful PSI and begun to develop a special one based on his favourite thing. 

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE :   Ness weighs 95lb   ( 43kg )   and he's 5ft tall   ( 150cm )   ( but he grows up to 6′2′’, watch him )   . He has short, messy and greasy black hair and he wears a baseball cap to mostly hide this messy mane but to also show his passion towards baseball, his favourite sport. His eyes are black   ( not as black as his hair but they're close to a dark grey colour )   and when he uses his psychic powers they turn purple-ish, so you can tell when he's using PSI or not. His skin is naturally tanned, with very light freckles across his face, at the back of his neck and under his elbows. - he’s ambidextrous.

LANGUAGE(S) KNOWN :   He speaks English and Japanese   ( thanks to his father who has Japanese origins )   , and also ASL language but not very fluently. He'd rather read your mind, tbh ... 

CLOTHING PREFERENCE(S) :   He wears striped shirts, baseball tees and hoodies ; jorts, capri jeans, sweats and sneakers. His preference in clothing tends to vary but he likes to wear comfortable clothes regardless if they look ugly or don't match well with the others. - He's uncomfortable in long-sleeved garments, so you will always see him wear short-sleeved shirts even during Winter   ( but only indoors ; if he falls sick, he can heal himself, so ... )   . He hates Winter >:C - Oh, and let’s not forget backpacks! 

PROFESSION :   Student. - He's the Captain of his school's baseball team,   " The Starmen "   ( which will then become his own team when he grows up )   . It doesn't have an actual mascot because of Ness' discomfort in people wearing large mascot suits. - The uniform has several stars across the sleeves, the name of the player is written on the back, while on the front is written   " Onett "   together with the initials   " SM "   ; the Captain's uniform has two stars as background for the initials and they're light-blue. - The team has its own baseball cap but Ness still prefers to wear his own.

FOOD PREFERENCE(S) :   Ness is a foodie! He LOVES to eat and his stomach is often compared to a bottomless well! There is not a food he doesn't like and thanks to his high and active metabolism he rarely gains weight despite eating so much. - However, he suffers from indigestion only when he eats too much sugar on a daily basis : the amount he can get is awfully limited, but it doesn't mean that he doesn't like sweets because to be fair they're his weakness. But because of his indigestion, he's very careful with them and grows a little paranoid when eating a tart or any other sweet treat. - Now, though, perhaps because of the lack of sugar in his system, the boy has grown very fond of salty snacks since they don't cause his stomach to twist in agony ; so, expect this kid to eat a lot of salt.

FAVOURITE FOOD :   Salisbury Steak   ( canon ). It's basically made from blending ground beef with other ingredients, topped then with bitter-sweet and slightly spicy sauce. His mother serves it with gravy and mashed potatoes as side-dish. But he likes anything that contain meat, tbh ... - He also likes Sukiyaki and Mori Soba   ( canon in game )   and Yakisoba   ( my HC )   . - Since we're on the topic, it's canon that Ness likes dog food as well   ( it's in the japanese version, replaced by salmon in the english version )   ; so I kinda HC that as a kid he ate a can of dog food out of curiosity and kinda liked it ...  uh ... 

MUSIC PREFERENCE(S) :   His genre varies and he's always open to new hits. He likes rock, hip-hop, lo-fi beats and instrumental tunes. But a huge favourites are Venus' songs. We could also say that Ness has a sort of celebrity crush on Venus but he doesn't say it openly because he'd feel awkward. However, you can hear him hum her songs every now and them and find a collection of all of her albums on his shelves plus a few autographs. She's his favourite singer and it will never change, not even when he grows up. - He also likes The Runaway Five's songs and DCMC   ( thanks to his boyfriend who has introduced them to him )   . - Ness can also play guitar. He has an acustic guitar in his room that he plays every now and then ; he's been playing it since he was five years old and can play any song by just listening to it.

FAVOURITE COLOUR :   Ness likes the colour pink for reasons he won't tell   ( simply because he doesn't know either, he just likes it more than any other colours tbh, although it now reminds him of his boyfriend's cheeks when he blushes, hhh )   .

FAVOURITE ANIMAL :   You would think that his favourite animal is dogs, right? Wrong! It's bunnies, especially dwarf rabbits with very tiny ears. The boy would scream for a bunny but because of their sensibility they might not keep up with his energy, so it's really not recommended to get him a bunny for the sake of the poor thing :c But he will sit at a pet shop for hours just to look at the bunnies, hm.

DOMINANT TRAIT :   his courage, of course.  - Keep in mind that now because he’s brave he’s not afraid of anything. Wrong. He has fears as well just like everyone but he doesn’t share them openly   ( and he considers them more states of discomfort rather than actual fears )   .

NEGATIVE TRAIT(S) :   As already mentioned, Ness is a jealous person when it comes to his loved ones because he feels the urge of protecting them and keeping them away from what might hurt them in his opinion. So, to state an example, when his sister's crush is around, Ness will keep an eye open on his behaviour and on the way he talks to his sister and interfere with annoying jokes or facts that might relate to Picky when he thinks that he's walking out of the line. But it always ends with Tracy either holding a grudge on Ness or punching his shoulder   ( a light punch, just to make it stop )   . Another example is Ness crinkling his nose   ( please keep this trait in mind for it tells a lot of how Ness is feeling in a certain moment )   when Lucas talks fondly about another person he doesn't know, and he starts saying things like   "uh", "oh yeah?", "uh-hu", "pssh", "tch" every now and then as he speaks to kinda control his jealousy.   - It starts low but if it grows incontrollably, he then becomes paranoid ; you can clearly tell when it happens by reading his movements : if he's sitting down, his legs shake, or if he's standing up he struggles to find a comfortable pose. he hides his mouth behind his palm, he rubs the back of his head, he begins scanning the area around him, he sighs loudly and sometimes even whines. In worse cases he starts walking around in the room or even bite his nails. - He calms down on his own without the other person to do anything for him, but it might take a couple of hours if not less. He will feel better and even apologize to you for his behavior afterwards. Note it : jealous and overprotective.   :thumbs_up: - he’s also greedy   ( only when it comes to sharing his food )   , clumsy and possessive   ( light stage of possession, he doesn’t go all yandere on his enemies, please ... :C but I do have an AU with Yandere!Ness, hurhur but not on Tumblr, tho ) - On a side note, I’d like to add that Ness sleeps a lot. Really, you’d be surprised with how much he sleeps. He’s energetic, don’t get me wrong, but he’s also very lazy - a weird combination, I know, but it be like that. He can sleep from 6 hours to 18 if he really wants to ; he rarely changes position in his sleep and doesn’t snore. He’s also a heavy sleeper, so if you ever want to wake him up, pinch his shoulder or something like that because he absolutely won’t wake up with words, but here’s where it gets complicated : he reacts in his sleep.   ( An example : if you ask him a question, he will just mutter “uh-hu” despite still sleeping, but won’t remember having said that once awake )

POSITIVE TRAIT(S) :   aside of his negative traits, Ness is in truth a loving and considerate person. When he loves he loves with all his heart and let’s just say that another person’s contact and warmth is always necessary, almost vital, for him. He’s extrovert, so being in contact with the outside world is fundamental. - he’s adventurous, affectionate, assertive, friendly, fun-loving and curious. - Now, his curiosity is where most of his reckless decisions are made. He’d venture without hesitation in a dark cave because led by his own curiosity ; he’d run outside in the middle of the night to go look at a meteorite that just fell on the hilltop next to his house even if his parents say no ; he would trust his neighbour Lier X Agerate down his basement to look at a statue he dug right under his house ...   Just to make it clear, the boy is very curious and if he ever asks inappropriate questions is because his curiosity led him to do so. - He’s also generous, hard-working   ( trait inherited by his mother | canon )   , optimistic, self-assured and determined. - He likes to spoil his loved ones with gifts ; so, expect this boy to buy oyu stuff every now and then. If you ever see something you like, Ness will buy it to you without hesitation   ( he’s rich :C )   .  - loyal, warm-hearted, patient   ( except for the line at fast-foods, he grows really impatient then )   , and playful   ( inherited by his father | he, much to everyone’s misfortune, very often cracks up jokes even in the most inappropriate moments, especially while shopping : he’d grab food and make jokes out of it.   An example :   Near to the fridge counter section, the raven, smiling with anticipation at the joke forming in his mind, grabs a random portion of meat, which happens to be minced meat but it doesn’t matter, and shows it to his boyfriend next to him.   “Nice to meat you!”   )

BAD HABIT(S) :   swearing   ( only when furious )   , muttering under his breath   ( jealous, paranoid, doubtful )   , oversleeping, snacking between meals, leg jiggling   ( paranoid, nervous )   , gesturing while talking   ( he’s an open book, he expresses himself a lot through non-verbal communication )   , chewing lips   ( nervous, paranoid )   , procrastinating   ( furious )   , rubbing hands through hair   ( nervous, paranoid )   , drinking from the bottle, messy, competitive.