#I imagine them to have dramatic doomed love play vibes

[fatherforgivethem]

Hi! I was wondering if you could do a Daeron x Rhaena moodboard? Thanks in advance!

“Oh no!” The maiden cried, “Do not leave me! For you will die and I shall never see you again. I shall be doomed to a life of eternal hallow.”

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..

..

The warrior cupped her face as delicately as glass, “I must fight! I must fight to protect you, to protect the realm. My dear maiden, if the realm falls, then I have failed you.”

“And if you never return?” She cried in horror.

“Then look for me in the sky, in the sea, in the fickle grass beneath the swarming trees. For it is there that you will see me, feel me, and hear me.”

[uthseikoashx-goingmyway]

things in IWTV season 2 i'd lose my mind if it actually happens (or when. because some of those things will happen.). sorry for the mistakes btw

1. Claudeleine romantic relationship

Claudia finally having a vampire lover she can be herself with. the romantic & sexual tension. the heart to heart Louis and Claudia would have before changing Madeleine. the yearning. the tragic ending. the change of dynamics in the De Pointe du Lac family. the disruption of it all.

2. an exploration of Armand's relationship to religion, faith and God

specially in 2022. past religious crisis. how he articulates his vampire nature, his faith and his despair. lots of hints of TVA. God and art. religion, Armand and Louis. his religion (conversion from being christian to being muslim in this universe? if so, why?). "i serve, a God," would you mind to develop?

3. dramatic irony about Daniel's past and Devil's Minion

the rent boy. Daniel actually realising he had been a dick about that. "oh." after understanding the irony of it all. Armand talking in riddles and hinting at something Daniel is totally ignorant of. young Daniel's life and messy, loving and weird relationship with Armand. some activism. 2022 Daniel getting old, sicker and sicker. laughs. angst. tension. yearning. longing stares. petty remarks. revelations.

4. Loumand complex relationship

the love and the suffering. how they are both deeply attached to each other. how they show their care. the place Lestat holds right in the middle. how they deal with Claudia's death. what Louis really thinks about it. the tension. the yearning. how their relationship actually developed. the extent of Louis' memory alteration and how it plays a role into their dynamics. the after: how Armand helped Louis. messy divorce vibes. petty moves. to what extent their relationship is doomed. how one person can love several persons and in different ways, and how complex and delicate it is.

5. The Groan™

what is that. a metaphor for sexual arousal? Lestat scratching the walls? Rashid trapped? some clues. what the fuck.

6. Antoinette alive and kicking

and coming back right on time for the trial, because it would be 1) so fucking funny 2) utterly tragic, considering Claudia would be killed for killing nobody.

7. amazing outfits

amazing outfits

8. lots of french

i'm french

9. Claudia and Armand's relationship

Claudia being protective of Louis. Armand dealing with it. some sort of bond rivalry. both of them aware that something's wrong with the other. Armand and Claudia's similarities being acknowledged (age, killing a human they loved — Charlie, Ricardo — and complex situation regarding their maker), even a possibility for some kind of understanding and compassion (making the end more tragic). Armand seeing a some of Lestat in Claudia. Claudia seeing Armand's love for Lestat. a common love for theater and spectacular shows. that awful experience before Claudia's death.

10. Louis and memories

the photos he takes (where are they in 2022? will they clash with Louis' tale?). the metatextual dimension of themes such as: unreliable narration, memories and perspective, autofiction. Daniel calling out Louis' avoiding strategies. Louis calling out Daniel's rudeness and biais. how Louis really sees his relationship with Claudia? the gap between Louis' and Armand's recalling. a deeper exploration of his superimposed identities (black, queer, american man; in 1940, 1973, 2022). learning how to trust someone new after being abused. the rain metaphors. Louis saying the most poetic and heartbreaking thing you'll ever heard. his relationship to vampirism as he joins Armand's coven. grief and loss of a family member. hallucinations and how they are filmed / manifesting. guilt. loving Claudia and Armand. loving Lestat, still. etc.

tysm for coming to my tedtalk. it was very self-indulgent but very much pleasant. i won't be mad if it doesn't happen (obviously!), or not like i imagine. still, it's fun to imagine and put that here on tumblr. no shame on lestat, i just have no special things i'm waiting for about him, and will be very happy indeed to see him again. salut

[monty-glasses-roxy]

how would the animatronics (bonnie and foxy too) act when their sick with a cold (maybe a robot version of a cold)?

Hmm

Freddy would probably be the most cooperative but also not at the same time. Like "I know you said to rest but they just wanted a quick photo... I couldn't say no to just a quick photo!" kinda thing. Like sure, he's mostly complying but he's most likely to cut corners on it too because someone asked him nicely. Sunny and Moon's doctor and nurse act make him smile and he gets so happy when anyone pops in to see how he's doing. He's prone to using up hundreds of boxes of tissues because his nose always runs like a damn tap.

Bonnie would be about as cooperative as Roxy except a thousand times more dramatic. No he doesn't have a cold! He's dying! Obviously! This is the end for him! There's no saving him! He's doomed! His final wish is for someone to Rick Roll everyone at his funeral! When he's not complaining, he's sleeping or whining about how unfair life is. He's insufferable. Boy is he not suffering in silence. As such, he doesn't get visited as often as he'd like which gives him another thing to complain about.

Chica is just sad. She wants to be out there playing with the kids not stuck in here sleeping all day! It's not fair! :( She's so happy when she's visited and loves when they all give her comforting hugs and stay with her until she falls back asleep. She's not as upset if she's given a few fairytale books to read. She loves those things but can never find the time to read them so this is a great chance to get back on top of those. And if she acts sad enough, she can convince basically everyone else to give her a dramatic reading of at least one of them for her. She's pretty cooperative unless the doctoring goes on too long.

Foxy suffers in silence until someone stops him and makes him take care of himself. He's uncooperative in that he insists he's fine before sneezing the biggest fucking glob of snot and mucus everywhere and then coughing up his lungs. No one ever believes him. They put on a bunch of ocean ambient music and stuff and he ends up sleeping through most of it but because of his stubborness he's also sick for the longest amount of time. When this is pointed out to him, he conveniently falls asleep or changes the subject.

Monty is surprisingly the most cooperative. He just wants to be left alone so he can rest up and get back out there so he does whatever he needs to. It's joked this is the only time he actually does listen to what anyone tells him. He's extra quiet and just kinda lays there and listens to his visitors tell him about what's going on outside. His sneezes can shake the walls of the whole Plex though. He's so quiet and then he sneezes and jumpscares every single person in the entire building he's that loud.

Sunny can't sit still for shit. He's uncooperative as hell because he wants to keep moving even when he's sick. As such, he can be found napping in the most bizarre of places because he wiped himself out and decided the tube in their room was really comfy. They're a stickler for the rules until they're given more to follow it would seem. Can and will cry about not being able to play with all the kids until he's better and can only be cheered up with puppet shows, glitter glue and hugs.

Moon is like Foxy in that they won't admit to being sick until it's obvious. However, once Moon does accept that they're sick? He goes the fuck to sleep. He follows the intructions they need to in order to get better and doesn't strain themself. As such, he's often sick for the least amount of time. He doesn't complain outright, but his comments will have the undertone of complaints and sarcasm. Honestly, Moon being sick gives me the vibe of him sat on the floor, staring out of a window of the city as rain pours outside and sad guitar and piano music plays. Imagine that but the FNaF version and that's how Moon is doing.

DJ Music Man rarely gets sick but when he does he curls up in a giant ball in one of his tunnels and refuses to move until it's cleared up. His music sounds calm and relaxing but also unsteady and a little irregular in its rhythm. When he's visited, he's happy about it and really appreciative because he knows how hard it is for them to get up there just to spend a little time with him. He thinks it's sweet that they all did it at least once and some even brought him lil gifts! He's basically doing the DJ equivalant of a cat loaf in one of the tunnels, sniffling like a sad kitten. :(

The Mini Music Men are only cooperative for Roxy, Moon and DJ Music Man. Anyone else? Can get lost. They snuggle with those three as often as they can and when they can't, they're all huddled up together somewhere in the vents. Because they're so small and light, if they have a particularly strong sneeze, they can literally yeet themselves backwards a few inches which is amusing to watch. When they feel a bit better but still have the sniffles, they have a little game going to see who can sneeze themselves the furthest.

For the sick Roxy stuff it's here, and here if you wanna see

[scribbly-dee]

Inspired by this post

I adore corruption arcs, so I graded how well the non-archivist characters would have damned humanity if they had been the archivist.

Sasha James 11/10, would be an ideal archivist, this plus her height is probably why the stranger monster targeted her before she could peak

I have a soft spot for any au that knows Sasha has never seen a brain cell in her life and that any unhinged!Sasha au is really just a regular Sasha au. Picture it with me. Sasha and Jon have parallel archivist tracks, until Sasha (my beloved show off) decides: you know what would make me more efficient at snooping? Becoming a Human Google. And things accelerate. The Web doesn't even need to bother with subtly magic lighters, it slaps all 14 marks on her at once by pulling up next to Sasha in a windowless van with "free secrets 👍" written on the side.

After the Unknowing, Sasha takes over the institute from Elias instead of Martin and Peter. With Tim dead, Jon in a coma, Martin lonely-snatched, Melanie compulsively homicidal, Daisy in the coffin, and Basira on autopilot, she quickly bonds with Rosie, the ultimate nosiness enabler. Sasha is a fully marked archivist for a good long while, but doesn't start the apocalypse right away because she's eager to read ALL the ominous notes Elias left, so the watcher's crown statement is in her to-be-read pile. When the apocalypse starts (Rosie: "Hey, Sasha, I just read something extra fucked up that Elias wrote, wanna see?" Sasha: "God yes."), she books it to become the pupil with Rosie as her anchor. Mayhapse an anchor-archivist polycule with Archivist Jon and Martin? Mayhapse Jon is just a normal eye avatar here and deeply invested in all of Sasha's eyepocalypse statements, so it's Sasha and her plus-three? Mayhapse it's a race across the eyepocalypse wasteland between Archivist Sasha and Archivist Jon to usurp Jonah and become the pupil?

Tim Stoker 2/10 dude's here for a good time, not a long time

The only way I see this working is if Elias disguises not-stranger clues as circus related so Tim is motivated to investigate. Otherwise, his archival assistants are way more curious than him and disobey his direct orders to 🍹chill🏝. Jon, Sasha, and Martin inadvertently bring marks home to him like cats bring home dead birds. He asserts his agency when he decides the best course of action? Actually? Just blow up the archives. This unfortunately puts him in a false sense of security, and Elias makes him read the watcher's crown statement by cat fishing him on grindr and sending the ritual as a dm mid conversation.

Daisy Tonner - 9/10 archivist, would have started doomsday before she was at the archivist job long enough to use her PTO

Daisy already had a lot of experience hunting down fear-entity-related people in sectioned cases, which means she possibly canonically already has all the marks from just hunting avatars who use their powers in self defense. The reason she lost one point is because she's too much of a jock to read, only nerds are culpable to watcher crown statements, so this would be the only delay but oh what a delay it will be.

Melanie King - 7/10 archivist, points awarded for achieving her breakthroughs by smashing her head against a wall until she literally breaks through, points deducted for doing so in full clown makeup.

If Jon got a handful of marks by just asking anoying questions in the same room as an avatar, imagine how much faster Melanie would get marks by bringing her trademark Chaotic Brat personality on fear entity investigations. The apocalypse would have started in like two seasons: one season to hire her off the streets and establish shakey, complex relationships with her new assistants (Jon and Sasha put in the time with the institute but were passed over on this promotion for some random YouTuber (plus they're tighter with Tim and Martin, so proletarian solidarity against the boss)).

Then a second season to stab every mark and get stabbed in return. Melanie would blitz through all 14 marks because what precious little impulse control she starts with is slowly replaced with slaughter juice. One fun moral ambiguity to explore could be if Melanie tries to use her new, dangerous Eye/Slaughter powers to revive her reputation and platform in the supernatural community now that she can, ya know, identify supernatural things for the first time ever. Does she acknowledge her entire career up to her hospital episode apparently only investigated fake sightings? A better question to ask is whether Basira, Tim, and Jon ever let her live down how Ghost Hunt UK's professional dignity was contingent on the legitimacy of her sCiEnTiFiC gHoSt eQuIpMeNt in those episodes, so the temperature spikes set to dramatic music were well and truly just temperature spikes and dramatic music. Sasha found a clip of that music playing as Melanie narrates "it's a message... from the other side..." and made it as her text tone.

Also, it would be hilarious if Melanie tried to kill Jonah on sight in the panopticon, once again botched assassination attempt number 1,963,538, and then Jon quietly snuck in to finish the job on his first try just like in canon.

Jon: "What, like it's hard?"

Basira Hussain 3/10 archivist, her eye alignment manifests as office gossip, like a normal person

Basira has the most formidable super power of all: the power to nope tf out of any conversation or plan she wants. She therefore would probably take 10x longer to start the apocalypse than any other archivist because her fatal flaw is refusal to directly engage with a lot of personally difficult things (like the slaughter bullet surgery she organized, Daisy In General, etc). The marks will be slow going if she resists putting her safety on the line or invests time in making good plans (which is smart, but unhelpful for dooming humanity). She would for sure still get marked and end the world because once she's convinced of a plan (aka Elias convinces her of a plan), she's ruthlessly efficient. So I'd stay out of her way that last year or two, she marks the entities right back at them.

Martin Blackwood 2/10 archivist, considering a prerequisite for creepy eye avatar staring is the ability to make eye contact.

S1 Archivist Martin would probably dote too much on the employees under him to be hugely susceptible to Elias' isolation-dependant manipulation. Any progress Martin inadvertently achieves toward the watcher's crown goal would have to be contingent on it helping his loved ones, which is perfect fuel for a "corrupted by good intentions" arc. This would be key because Martin has superb bullshit and manipulation detection, making the marks are tricky but not impossible to orchistrate considering Jon can't stay put in a safe corner for 10 minutes and Martin's mother would refuse to stay with him where she's safe from avatar threats.

Imagine the petty drama when Jon and Sasha learn he got the promotion they wanted because he lied on his CV.

Other than that, Martin would be even worse about pit stops on the apocalypse road trip than Jon because his Kill Bill mode would have no off switch. Does Archivist!Martin and his anchor Jon ever reach the panopticon? Eventually, but not until after they lose points for significantly reducing the apocalypse fear quantity. Would Annabelle survive to deliver her cryptic MaCHiNAtIoNs and achieve the Web's goal? Hard No, additional point reduction for neutralizing the multiverse invasion. Points potentially earned back if Martin's Web connection is strong enough to come up with the multiverse invasion plan on his own, though.

Georgie Barker 4/10, as a fearless coward, all the fear she feeds to the entities would be khaki flavored. They'd get their apocalypse, but they probably wouldn't enjoy the meal.

Similar to Basira, Georgie has the super power to Fuck This Shit I'm Out. She would overall be a subpar humanity damning archivist; a major archivist success factor of Jon's is that he has enough affective empathy to be afraid with every statement giver he reads, so when Jon archives a statement, he unintentionally contributes to the fear soup seasoning. Combined with how Georgie doesn't want anything to do with entity drama, so any corruption specific to the watcher's crown would stagnate. Even her casual exposition conversations would go like

Georgie: "I've connected no dots."

Melanie: "you've connected a lot of dots??"

Georgie: "I've connected shit all dots."

The reason she gets one more point than Basira is because Georgie's fatal flaw is the passive observer quality the Eye tried to stoke in Jon. Her level of engagement oscillates between two extremes, impulsive over commitment and judging from a distance. This would probably lead her to geting involved just long enough for her involvement to become irreversible, at which point she would try to cut that shit out of her life after it's trapped her. She'd linger, barricading herself on the margins of this problem as the marks that are targeted at her slowly tally up until boom. Apocalypse is on and she only half understands what's happening.

Georgie would wander around an apocalypse hellscape confused, but vibes and physical health fully intact. Anchor!Melanie would have quite the emotional journey starting with Georgie on that pedestal Melanie placed her, and ending with a slaughter avatar stabbing the person who convinced her to work on her slaughter inclination.

[sofiaaaaaaaa03]

Lively

Summary: Reader enjoys singing to themselves while Din is gone for bounty hunting and one day gets caught.

(I’m new to the app so I lost the message the person sent to me, but here’s the first request I managed to copy before I lost it. I really hope the person enjoys it. I had a lot of fun!)

Request:  My prayers have been answered! Thank you so much for doing this, the lack of Dad!Din Djarin with young adult reader is killing me. Ok, so could you do a one shot the where reader (who is around 17) really enjoys listening to music and singing, but is afraid that it’ll annoy Din since he’s usually so quiet. So when Din is looking for bounty’s, the reader listens to music through her speaker rather than her iPod (or whatever is the space equivalent of an iPod) and just sings her heart out. But Din comes back early to find the reader singing to herself along with the lyrics, and surprises her. I’ve got some song suggestions, you can choose which one can fit the mood of the one shot. I tried to give you a wide range of genres, but not too many songs. Let me know if you need anything. 

Pairs: Dad!Din Djarin x Young Adult Reader

Words: 1,520

A/N : So I got a little carried away and ended up writing a little backstory for the reader because I imagine that they’d be from Earth and still LOVE listening to earth tunes. Like, can you imagine Din’s confusion to most human songs’ lyrics? Anyways, I really hope you guys like it and please request more things for me to write or tell me your thoughts on the story. I’d really appreciate your feedback!!

Ending up in outer space was the last thing you’d expect to happen when you turned seventeen. You thought you would be dealing with high school drama and figuring out where you’d be attending university. Not getting picked up by an alien spacecraft during a camping trip and taken lightyears away from Earth. It was too much for you to handle as you had no clue what was going to happen to you, so you quietly hummed your favorite song to help calm your nerves of whatever impending doom you would face. Though it seemed that you were not meant to face such a fate, when blasting came from the corridor of the ship and what seemed to be an armored knight entered the room, finding you huddled in the corner wearing nothing but your pjs.

You later found out that the knight was known as a Mandalorian while conversing with him under the star lit cockpit of his ship. 

“Never heard of it.” 

“You’ve never heard of Earth?” You looked at him incredulously, shocked at his indifferent tone. 

His helmet humbly shone as he shook his head. “Wherever you’re from, kid, it must be far. Is there anyone you know around the system that can look after you?”

You shook your head. If he didn’t know about Earth then you must be really far from home. This could be why people back home haven’t been able to find any alien life forms. They were so far out of reach that they didn’t know about humans back home. Did that mean you couldn’t go back home? What would you do now that you were stranded?

The Mandalorian looked at you for a moment before sighing. He confessed that he lived with a son who needed to be watched over while he was out pursuing bounties and offered you to stay with him for the time being so long as you watch the child while he was gone. He would also do his best to find any information about this Earth you spoke about and try to return you to your home. By Creed, he’d said. Which confused you at the time though you didn’t try to argue, not wanting to get marooned your first day in space. From that day forward, you began your life with the Mandalorian and his child.

--------

“When are you coming back?” You followed Din as he activated the boarding ramp to lower to the ground. He was off to retrieve another bounty. You could tell by the puck he carried with him. Whoever’s information was in it was not going to have a good day, you were sure of it.  

“End of the day, if things go well.” Din began to make his descent down the ramp, not bothering to turn around and face you. “Close the ramp. You have your coms in case anything happens while I’m gone.”

You watched as the Mandalorian set off for the nearest town, waiting for him to distance himself from the ship before pushing the button that’d close the ramp and heading back inside to get Grogu. You stopped in the middle of the main corridor, looking inside Din’s bunk. Grogu cooed inside the makeshift hammock, sleepy eyed and yawning.

“Din’s gone. You know what that means?” You picked up Grogu and made your way to the cockpit. A small squeal erupted from the small green thing in your arms, causing you to chuckle as the doors to the cockpit opened dramatically.  For a baby he sure was able to understand so much. Plopping onto Din’s seat (something you only had the courage to do when he was gone) you pulled out your phone and began connecting it onto the main board. 

Back on Earth, it was no secret about your love of music. You used to spend hours in your room completely losing touch with reality while you sang your heart out. It was different in space. Though the music to you was foreign and full of languages that were not of your native tongue, you enjoyed them nonetheless and even listened to them using an old datapad you found in the ship. Never aloud though. You were afraid of overstepping your boundaries with the Mandalorian you’d lived with. The fact that he never said much intimidated you enough. You didn’t want to annoy him. Besides, after a long day he deserves to come back home to peace and quiet. 

That didn’t mean that you couldn’t enjoy yourself while he was gone. Oh, on the contrary it became tradition for you and Grogu to turn the Razor Crest into one big speaker while the two of you jammed out to music. As it turned out, Grogu really enjoys the 70s. 

The two of you pranced around the ship for what only felt like an hour, when in reality the suns of the planet had gone down a long time since. Grogu had tired himself out and fell asleep the moment he returned to his little hammock. You, on the other hand, sat in the cockpit where the music was currently playing in. The wires had to be redirected and closed so that the only area the speakers played music in was where you were. Even though Grogu was sleeping, you were far from done listening to music. At the moment, you were singing your heart out to Killer Queen. You had been silently listening to the music before. But with a classic like this it deserved to be sung with. Or at least, that’s how you felt.

Unbeknownst to you, Din was making his way to the ship when he heard sounds coming from within. This worried him for a moment. His instincts told him that someone else was inside and with the kids. Quickly making his way up the ramp, Din upholstered his rifle and scanned the main hull of the ship. A moment passed. The hull showed no signs of struggle. Taking several steps forward Din picked up on the light snoring coming from his son’s hammock. He checked Grogu quietly, careful as to not wake him but still wanting to make sure that he was alright. Comforted to know that his son was safe, Din admitted to himself that he was being too rash with an intruder inside of the ship and took a moment to glance around the vicinity in search of his other ward. Where were you? He checked your empty cot before making his way into the cockpit.

“Didn’t know there were concerts on this ship.” 

“Dank Farrik-” You jumped out of your seat, startled by Din’s clapping that had interrupted your vibes. You were too busy singing to hear the Mandalorian’s steps as he entered the hull. “I didn’t hear- how long were you watching?” 

Din made his way beside the main chair, placing a hand on the headrest. “Long enough to know you messed with my cables. How’d you learn to do that?” 

“Peli taught me some things last time we were with her.” Your ears burned hot. “She thought it’d be useful to learn in case you needed an extra set of hands.”

You stared at anything but Din, still embarrassed from the startle he gave you. With his helmet on it was virtually impossible to look at him and tell what he was thinking. To know if he was annoyed. If he was upset at you for messing with his ship, he certainly didn’t show it. Was he going to kick you out? Leave you stranded? You sighed, closing your eyes and waited for him to say something.

A chuckle emitted from Din’s helmet. “Y’know, I was wondering where that song was from.”

You opened your eyes, tilting your head at him questionably. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” He sat on the co-pilot’s seat, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees, “Grogu has been mumbling some sort of uh… song whenever he doesn’t see you around. I always assumed that it was his way of calling for you. Didn’t really know where he’d gotten it from, until now.”

A large smile found itself on your face. 

“Really?” Din nodded. “He really loves Earth music, yknow.”

“He doesn’t do a bad job mimicking it either.” A pause. “You two should play it more often when we’re travelling. It’d certainly make the place more…”

“Lively?” You added with a smirk.

Din hummed, nodding at your words. “Yeah, kid. Lively. Alright, out of the chair. We gotta hit hyperspace for our next commute.” He ruffled your hair and chuckled at you swiping at his hands. You settled in the co-pilot’s chair while he positioned himself on the pilot’s chair, grabbing your phone and staring at it for a moment. Its wires remained connected to the ship’s board. 

“Here.” He handed the phone to you. “I’d like to learn more about your music...if that’s alright with you.”

You smiled, hitting shuffle on the playlist and listened to the music flood into the cockpit. You didn’t fail to notice Din’s foot tapping to the beat of the song. 

[quidfree]

just screamed over your fem todobaku it was endlessly entertaining and I’m sure to be rereading it every two weeks from now on... the way katsuki pieces things together and the absurd setting is everything I wanted and more TT!!! For prompts.. tdbk’s relationship in the eyes of their classmates? That moment in a prev fic where momo is like yeah I’m with jirou now 🤗n then tdrk goes oh me too but w bkg is forever embedded into my brain lmfaooo like what does everyone make of this insane pair

pftttttt glad it fulfilled your expectations anon i love writing half-serious todobaku pieces where they are still 50/50 strategic geniuses and emotional morons as per canon but the setting is increasingly absurd. i don't know what the context was for giant deku in that sketch but the visual was too good. date-crasher deku at it again.

as for ur prompt i do love the concept bc i live for third party pov content but i would find it v hard to get done in the prompt format bc 1) honestly a lot of the 1A students (etc) don’t have very defined personalities lol and 2) when it comes to those who do i have too much to say to do this in an hour. however i can give you some bulletpoint summaries of the BNOCs (and if you have any specific niche classmates whose take you want do let me know). with that being said...

kirishima: forever and always a supportive bestie and thus leader of the todobaku fanclub. i mean just read my fic yknow. 1000% called it on bakugous side first (and/or bakugou told him) and has been enthusiastically supportive ever since. hes a big ol romantic really and also unironically thinks todobaku is the manliest of pairings (and totally made for each other, bro!!) so hes beyond stoked when they do get together. hes one of their most comfy third wheels bc he and bakugou r very close and he and todoroki r also good friends so no one is like on uncomfortable/uneven footing and hes unfazed by the ups and downs of their relationship bc hes used to both of their antics. the secret-keeper.

i don’t have enough separate intel on the rest of the bakusquad but they’re 1) completely thrown by the revelation that after years of wheedling and trying to set bakugou up into surprise dates he is not in fact ‘work-sexual’, and to top this off is actually into todoroki of all people 2) obnoxiously supportive, as you would expect. secretly they’re all kind of defensive of bakugou’s fragile heart (citation needed) and so nervous about how the whole thing is gonna work out but when it becomes apparent todoroki does not have better sense they relax and just become excessively nosy. like to complain that bakugou and todoroki weren’t content dominating their year academically and professionally they also had to steal out 2 of the country’s most eligible bachelors, the selfish bastards.

camie: second leader of the todobaku fanclub, idc. clocks it ahead of literally anyone else in their friend group bc she just, like, got that vibe, you know? theres a multitude of equally blunt and inappropriate ways in which she addresses this vibe (calling them out in person when theyre years away from it, trying to not especially artfully orchestrate a get-together, etc) and they are all very unsuccessful. shes ‘lowkey mad bakugou stole her potential man’ but ‘finders keepers’ so once they’re past that she’s all for it since she correctly thinks they r freaks best suited to e/o and also honestly probably thinks bl is cute or something. todoroki and bakugou both endure her encouragement very long-sufferingly. big double dater energy.

yaoyorozu: not at all in the first to clock gang, bc honestly the idea she has of todoroki is still a lil idealized/inaccurate and certainly does not involve dating bakugou; the initial reveal is inevitably delivered very casually to her as she scrambles for a polite reaction. she’s kind of wary of the whole thing at face value but close scrutiny leads her to conclude they’re actually not-terrible together. upon reaching this conclusion she begins making earnest overtures towards a very confused bakugou bc she figures she may as well make the effort to get to know him better. i always hc her as having had a crush of some variety on todoroki at some point so theres probs a bit of wistfulness involved and also a far larger ‘nvm dodged that bullet’ energy bc todobaku r romantically a mess and a half. to her despair she is extremely weak to camie’s todobaku gossip.

uraraka: to everyone’s vague bewilderment, a secret todobaku stan from the get-go. you could say this is bc it leaves deku solidly open but honestly she just has similarly odd friendships with todoroki and bakugou and it’s like a persistent guilty thought of hers that they’re kind of well-suited somehow. she often tells todoroki he can do better just to wind bakugou up but would be the first to take bakugou’s side if he actually did. she really enjoys them together bc she finds somehow they’re easier to tease- it humanizes them both further to be weak to dumb emotions. she plays counsellor sometimes but like subtly bc she knows better than to give outright advice.

iida: completely blindsided by the information, also spends several months in the grips of insomnia convinced that both their friend group and japan are doomed given the inevitable dramatic breakup. then he spends a singular day hanging around them at work or something and realises that his imagined version of them as a couple was in fact completely off-base bc they’re just overly intense workaholics who are too single-focused to ever bother splitting up. also top 1 most likely friend to launch into a completely sincere defense of them and their relationship in response to like the laziest off-color paparazzi bait comment.

midoriya: where to begin honestly. he def gets weird vibes from them throughout the whole usual melodrama but 200% does not come to the right conclusions. when he finally gets the news broken to him (never gently) his brain breaks a little. it’s mainly the bakugou element bc kacchan is.. kacchan and like.. not necessarily fundamentally someone midoriya has ever imagined harboring human interest in another living person. also todoroki in a parallel way has always struck him as resoundingly disinterested in relationships mainly bc hes kind of above them. of course once he sets to theorising he can connect some dots to bakugous various jealousies over the years and also todorokis pretty open staring and wow he is not very good at connecting dots actually. anyways once he recovers from the shock i think theres a variety of ways in which he takes it bc honestly it is very weird that his best friend and his .. closest friend (?) who have always primarily interacted through or due to him now have this competing private relationship. regardless obv he is intensely supportive in like, the typical kind of overbearing midoriya way. i sometimes make it so its just one of those things that everyones cool with but also the details will always be something midoriya and bakugou do not want midoriya to know bc Awkward, vs other times i make him super cool w it to the extent that hes just overenthusiastic and todorokis all oh. sure. thanks :) while bakugou loses his shit. he does genuinely think they’re a really good fit upon reflexion, and since he’s best suited to knowing why he’s p much always correct in his assessments. its one of those things where each duo in the trio has the capacity of playing up the subject matter to the third party’s detriment, tho when todoroki is the third party he’s less embarrassed by bakudeku’s todobaku discourse and more enduring their various bizarre friendship rituals + the serious physical damage they usually precede.

also aizawa clocks them first and is like oh god please no this is going to take at least 5 years to implode and will age me 10 years in the process

[degenerate-perturbation]

Viv Reviews: The Witch’s Heart by Genevieve Gornichec

Being as I am contractually obliged to read all Loki-the-mythological-being fanfiction, I dive bombed this book like a seagull espying a stray french fry on the boardwalk. I had never heard of it before I saw it on the shelf at the bookstore, but reading the summary and the first page, I bought it immediately, started it within a few days, and finished it over the course of approximately four baths. Usually the lag time between me becoming aware of a book and actually reading it is anywhere between a year and a decade, so this is pretty incredible performance.

And this one was actually good! Really good! Or it could have been, if it didn’t absolutely cheese it in the second half of the story.

The first half is extremely solid, if somewhat conventional. It follows the myths, centering on Angrboda and Loki’s relationship. I had a pre-existing attachment to Loki and enjoyed all of this greatly. Was it stunning literature? No. Was it a really solid, satisfying fanfiction? Yes. And I will give the first half of the book solid marks on that front.

I’ll be honest. I read this book for Loki. But I really enjoyed Angrboda as a protagonist here. She minds her own business. She doesn’t hold grudges. She doesn’t want revenge for the trauma and wrongs visited upon her. She doesn’t cling to pride. Overall it paints the picture of an admirable person, who never strays into the saccharine or unbelievable. I like her. Even though I am a Loki apologist through and through, when they part on bad terms, I was fully on her side.

I also really like this Loki. In this book his key flaw is identified not as dishonesty or disloyalty, but as an excessive desire to be accepted. Loki is willing to do anything to continue to be accepted by the Aesir, or rather tolerated by them.  He is ready to suffer any humiliation, any degradation, any pain, any loss, all to keep his tenuous, heavily-conditional place among them. For all us faggots and retards and adjacent undesirables in the audience, this is a familiar emotion. I clapped my hands in delight to watch it all play out; Loki the weird kid who eats dirt trying desperately to keep the cool kids laughing so he can imagine that they are laughing with him, not at him, even if it means betraying his own family.

There is another interesting element to this story and that is the hint of Angrboda/Skadi as the endgame relationship. It’s built up nicely; Skadi and Angrboda are good friends, jealous of one another’s husbands and not talking about it, all the while we the audience know that Angrboda and Loki’s marriage is doomed to explode. When Angrboda is nearly killed and all she loves taken from her, Skadi is the one who is there for her. Aha! I think. So this is why Skadi hated Loki so much, and why Angrboda left Loki to his fate! Hohoho, I can’t wait to see this play out.

And then it just fucking doesn’t.

At the midpoint of the book, the tension drains away, there is no structure to speak of, and Stuff Kind Of Just Happens.

Having healed from the attempt on her life, Angrboda decides to set off on a journey to rediscover her magical abilities. She gives Skadi the standard “I have to do this alone” line, and...Skadi just goes, okay, bye then, and lets her go. And then she just isn’t in the story for a long time.

At this point Angrboda’s goal is to find her daughter, because she knows her sons are fated to die during Ragnarok. Angrboda is unable to die; she always comes back. This is one of the first things established about her and the audience is reminded of it when she fails to die when she is killed, at the midpoint. Aha! one might think. Angrboda will be so desperate to see her daughter that she will repeatedly try to die, and be unable to! Only once she has exhausted every option and given up on despair, only then is she able to access her magic and travel to the underworld without dying! Only by choosing to live can she truly heal and progress in her goals!

But that is not what happens. What actually happens is that Angrboda putzes around for a few years Finding Herself and making friends with local wildlife.  She relearns her magic because Freyja--a character who has hardly been mentioned in the story up until this point--teaches her. Because Girl Power, or something. When she finally does reach Hel, it doesn’t feel like an exciting emotional climax, it’s just kind of another thing that happens. Poor structure!

Here is another example of poor structure: the eventual Angrboda/Skadi relationship.

After they randomly part ways just at the juncture where serious relationship development would reasonably be happening, they next speak to each other after Ragnarok has started. Skadi comes to visit Angrboda. She tells her about the binding of Loki, but leaves out her role in it. Later, she guiltily admits that she was the one who added the snake, because she wanted to make Loki suffer for hurting Angrboda. This makes Angrboda realize that Skadi loves her, and they become lovers. Several months later, Angrboda decides, for no particular reason, that she should free Loki.

Look. I’m not any kind of screenwriting genius. But there is an obvious way that this should have played out according to every law of dramatic tension. Here it is:

Skadi goes to see Angrboda at the start of Ragnarok, and, driven by the impending apocalyptic events, confesses her feelings. They become lovers. Skadi hides her role in the binding of Loki for the duration of their relationship. Angrboda spends months or even years lost in the haze of complacent gay love and resignation to fate. Then, much later, Skadi tells her the truth. This horrifies Angrboda, and is the catalyst which makes her decide to free Loki. The realization that she still cares for her good-for-nothing ex-husband spurs some character development.

But Angrboda and Skadi can’t have any drama or emotional conflict or tension in their relationship. Because Girl Power.

And when she gets there, and witnesses her ex-husband, the father of her children, horrifically tortured and maimed as a direct result of the actions of her current lover, what does Angrboda do? She takes a moment to have a little pow-wow with Sigyn and let her know that there are no hard feelings and we women have to support each other you know. Because Girl Power.

The rest of the story is an incoherent soup of Stuff Just Happening. It has that fanfiction vibe of just trying to get through all the canon plot points while the characters we’re actually focusing on have nothing to do with them. There is one cool part where Angrboda realizes that Hel has a weak heart--so she cuts out her own and gives it to her, and this allows Hel to survive Ragnarok. Loki was the one who returned Angrboda’s heart to her at the start of the story, so this is quite sweet and fitting. But it happens offscreen, and then we are subjected to Hel & Baldur’s romantic banter which is gratingly exactly the same as Angrboda & Loki’s romantic banter.

There is a skeleton of a good story here. But that’s really the best I can say for it. I’m not really sure what happened here--other reviewers have suggested a lack of imagination on Gornichec’s part, and maybe that explains some of it, but I suspect the Girl Power themes also have to do with it. So many scenes and plot points seem only to exist to affirm the theme of Women Supporting Women. I vaguely get the impression that Gornichec is shying away from centering the Angrboda and Loki relationship, too, Because Girl Power. Only this doesn’t work, because it is quite clearly the central relationship, and acting like it’s not just makes for poor storytelling.

I’ve said before that a mark of a good story is one whose prose, plot, characters, and world all uniformly and point in the same direction, creating a coherent Theme. Here it’s more like the Theme was dropped into the middle of the plot by a dumptruck and left there, getting in the way of the actual story and messing up the structure. And structure is seriously important! The book I read immediately after this one was The Rise of Kyoshi by F. C. Yee, another published f/f fanfiction novel, and I won’t be reviewing that one, because it was damn good - in large part due to its tight, coherent structure.

The Witch’s Heart could’ve been it, but ultimately turned out a disappointing fanfiction. Compare Miller’s Circe - but Circe was a better book by far.

[rllymilerlly]

Okay so this is for my (And essentially @toph-beifcng too because omg they have helped develop this a ton) Avatar Band AU.

Now these are the Songs I think would be on The GAangs Album “Water Earth Fire Air” (I know very little about music terminology and such so please excuse my lack of knowledge)

This Album is one of their only albums that tell a story from start to finish. It’s a story about love, loss, found families and growing up.

-The Avatar: This Song is almost purely instrumental and uses a lot of motifs from the actual show. There is only a little Narration throughout it and is done by Katara (and it kind of is similar to the shows in a way)

-The Boy in the Iceberg: This Song starts off with a very dramatic chord but then Aang enters in and is very bubbly and light. It focuses mainly on Aang with vocal accompaniments by Kat and Sokka. But as the song progresses it gets a little more desperate and you realize it’s about this kid in denial about the horrors that have happened to him. And Zuko is playing these underlying tones that just make it feel like there is this impending doom. And it ends with Aang solemnly saying “I never wanted to be-“

-Kyoshi Warrior: This follows along with the tone Zuko started in the previous song and focuses on Suki. This is about the obstacles she has had to overcome especially being a woman. And it’s a very empowering almost angry song. Sokka has lil harmonies with her too in this song which is pretty cute. Katara has a keytar solo in this too dont @ me

-Imprisoned/Jet: I’m debating putting this song in but I want an early Katara feature so I just might. This one would be about her dealing with her not so great relationships in the past. And kind of a not so subtle fuck you to Jet

-The Blue Spirit: This would follow up with Katara’s slower vibes and start out kind of eerie. It’s a Zuko and Aang duet (Mainly Zuko though). It’s about Zuko’s internal struggles and moral dilemmas. Aang in the song represents the goodness he knows he has in him. But Zuko keeps pushing that away for the time being. And it gets more and more harsh. And it practically ends with Zuko scream/sobbing

-The Siege of the North: This features practically everyone vocally. This one is dedicated to their passed friend (Girlfriend in Sokka’s case) Yue. And it starts off angry and sad and it just hits everyone. Then it does end on a solo from Sokka that’s wow so emotional.

-The Avatar State: A 15 minute masterpiece that puts all their styles of music together. And cannot decide if I want this as just an instrumental or not. But fun fact for the fans: Aang actually originally composed and recorded the whole thing by himself as sort of a dedication to all of his pals. But in performance and the soundtrack it’s all of the Gaang playing

-The Cave of Two Lovers: Essentially it’s mostly Katara and Aang singing a funny little tune as they try to just laugh off the insanity of their life. They’d even include a nod to “Secret Tunnel”. It’s a simple tune that contrasts great with the complexity of the Avatar State before. It’s a sign of hope of a brighter future. (Also during the performances of this everyone is on stage and sings a little part of the song. Except Toph who’d be getting ready backstage)

-The Swamp: This is just a Ethereal experience. It stars Sokka Katara and Aang. And is about strange ‘visions’ in a swamp. It Starts off with Sokka accepting Yue’s gone and Katara accepting her mother’s death. And finally it ends with Aang, he feels hopeless and alone but he keeps hearing this voice calling to him. And at live performances this is where Toph comes up from below stage as the fog machines pour out everywhere making it this insane mystic vibe. And the two of them are harmonizing together as the song builds up. (I imagine it sounding kind of similar to this song). And when they finally come together Toph saying something totally just Toph Like and that ends the song. (Also towards the end of the song they are singing this fun harmony and at the end take it up an octave (kind of like in the end of ‘show yourself’ from Frozen 2) and fans think while listening to the soundtrack that it’s Toph who hits this super high note but low and behold at the live performance it’s revealed it’s Aang in his wild falsetto)

-The Blind Bandit: It’s a 4 minute Drum Solo that’s just Toph center stage fucking killing it (LIKE PLEASE WATCH THIS VIDEO FOR REFERENCE OF HOW ACTUALLY INSANELY HARD SHE GOES. THEY TURN HER UPSIDE DOWN) Toph doesn’t need words to express her emotions. Okay enough said.

-City of Walls and Secrets: The Whole Gaang features in this one vocally at some point. And it’s about society keeping things away from the people. Because the Gaang really says fuck Authority.

-The Crossroads of Destiny: A Zuko and Katara duet. Their styles blend perfectly and create this somber piece about hope of redemption. And how they both lost their mother in a way.

-The Painted Lady: A mystical Katara Solo. That has everyone shaking. I’m not sure quite what it’s about but this is the song that made fans gay for Katara that’s all imma say.

-The Runaway: Look this is about to be the 3rd Katara feature in a row but I’m not mad. This would be a duet with Toph. And it’s a head banger and is about unlikely friendships okaY

-Nightmares and Day Dreams: An Aang solo. This one is just straight up wild. It’s a similar vibe to Boy in the Iceberg. Where a lot of it is Aang in denial of his problems and wanting to avoid responsibilities but it’s causing him insomnia. He wrote this when he didn’t sleep for over 72 hours and the weirdness it has definitely shows that.

-The Swords Masters: THE SOKKA SOLO WE DESERVE. In this album Sokka takes a way more serious vibe to his music, But this one does have a little more fun. It’s very energetic and shows off Sokka’s guitar skills.

-The Boiling Rock: The Zukki Song we have all been waiting for. It’s just straight up a good time. And is about finding love and accepting ones flaws. And it’a just iconic. This is where Suki hits a Whistle note in the album. They also each get an instrumental solo. This is one of the best headbangers in the album.

-Agni Kai (Lightning Strikes): @toph-beifcng is APPARENTLY WRITING THIS SO I DONT WANT TO SAY ANYTHING BC I DUNNONWHAT THEY WRITING BUT I KNOW ITLL BE STRAIGHT FIRE. I’m ASSUMING IT’S A ZUKO FEATURE THO.

-Sozins Comet: The final song in the album. It’s theme consist of a brighter future with their new found family and acceptance of the past. Overall it’s a straight jam. But in the end of the song it ends with the ‘Avatars Love’ Motif at the end.

BONUS TRACKS:

-Tales of Ba Sing Se:

Features fun little melodies from the Gaang that didn’t make full fledge songs. This also includes ‘Leaves from the Vine’ sung by Iroh still that Zuko plays with him. In memory of Lu Ten.

Please feel free to add on or suggest anything! Or send me an ask if you would rather do that :^)

[sol-tinyrayofsun]

Zutara Week Day 6 - Affirm:  It Was Always You (Falling For Me)

This little story has been on my mind for quite some time now and I somehow made it work with the prompt. It’s really fluffy, ridiculous, and features a lot of Toph’s brilliance to mess with her friends yet always meaning well. I just had a good time writing it, it was honestly a fun ride.

I hope you enjoy it! As always, thank you for reading! Feedback and comments are always appreciated! <3 In case you prefer it, also on AO3! Title: It Was Always You (Falling For Me)

Rating: G

Summary: When Katara let Toph convince her of giving Zuko a love potion to make him fall in love with her, she knew the chances of the plan going sideways were extremely high. Still, the last thing she expected was for Zuko to act normal. Painfully normal. Operation “Sparky Falling For Sugar Queen” turns out to be a little too complicated. (Set after Ember Island Players but before Sozin’s Comet).

----- “Pst! Katara!”

The waterbender tilted her head. The kitchen appeared to be empty. Still, she could hear someone calling for her, loud and clear. She had been busy making sure they had everything ready for lunch around Zuko’s holiday house at Ember Island. 

“Katara!” There it was, that voice again. “Listen up, Sugar Queen!”

Wait for a second, that was Toph’s voice. Definitely. 

“Toph?” She asked, walking around the room. “Where on earth are you?”

“Inside the broomstick closet!” Toph chuckled. “Come here for a sec.”

Katara did as she said. Once she opened the door, she found Toph mischievously smirking, holding a little bottle in her hands. 

“So, what is it?” 

“This!” Toph replied, showing off the bottle with a grin on her face. “This is what I wanted to show you!”

“And you were hidden with all those broomsticks because…” 

“Dramatic effect, Sugar Queen, never underestimate it,” she said, stepping into the kitchen hall. “Now, aren’t you going to ask what this is for?”

“Sure, Toph,” Katara let out an amused sigh. “Why is it so important?

“How do you feel about having some fun at Sparky’s expenses?”

In all honesty, the idea sounded tempting. After the dreadful night Katara had endured with that stupid play just days ago, she could use more than a little fun. Although Toph’s idea of fun could sometimes be questionable, at the very least.

“Hold up. What do you have in mind?”

“This little thing,” Toph shook the bottle up in the air. “It’s a temporary love potion.”

Katara broke down in a scandalous laugh. “Yeah, and where did you get that from?”

Toph made a defensive frown. “Hey, it’s the real deal! I bought it from a weird old lady in town. She wasn’t lying, I swear.”

“Alright, I believe you. And what do you suggest we do with it?” 

“Yes, that’s the attitude!” she celebrated. “According to the weirdo, two drops of this stuff and you can make anyone fall at your feet. All you need is for the other person to consume it while looking at you. And I just thought, wouldn’t it be hilarious if Zuko just happened to suddenly be crazy in love with you? That play inspired me, that’s all I’m saying.”

Well, that sounded like a recipe for disaster. Especially considering the way that play had contributed to her latest confusion regarding her feelings for two very powerful - and very different - benders. Still, it was a tempting offer. 

“Toph, that’s insane!” Hesitation could be heard in her voice. “Trust me, pranking Zuko would be entertaining, but we cannot force him to be forever in love with me! I mean, what on earth would we do then? Seems a little cruel to me.”

“See? That’s the catch. It’s temporary. Two drops would only make him fall in love with you for a couple of days, tops. Come on! I thought you had been introduced to the concept of fun.”

Spirits, screw it. Two days of some harmless fun, how bad could it be? She could use a little distraction from the constant stress they were all under.

“Are you sure the effect will wear off?” 

“Absolutely. Say yes, please! You know I can always do it without you. Or to you.” A mischievous smile framed her face. “You know you want to torture Sparky a little bit.”

“Alright… Let’s do it. But if anything goes sideways it’s your responsibility.” 

“Heck yeah! That’s the spirit!” Toph gave her an affectionate punch in the shoulder. “Oh man, this is going to be too fun to watch!”

And so operation “Sparky falling for Sugar Queen” was put into motion. The two girls would prepare some tea - which would undoubtedly bribe Zuko in there - and make sure he was left alone with Katara when it came to drinking it. Toph would oversee everything from a cautious distance. It was the craziest, most random idea ever. But it sure sounded like fun.

 Once everything was ready, Katara waited for Zuko in the kitchen. Needless to say, she was feeling a tad nervous. Waiting by the countertop, staring at the two teacups in front of her, she felt her heart racing on her chest. 

It was just for two days. And it would certainly be nice to laugh with Toph about Zuko’s ridiculous lovey-dovey attitude. Most importantly, she wouldn’t even dream to risk Toph giving her the concoction. No, her feelings were already messy enough without the help of any love potion. 

“Katara, are you in here?” Zuko’s voice interrupted her overthinking. “Toph said you made tea for me…?”

Time for the show. She put on her brightest smile as Zuko sat down in front of her. 

“Yes! You seemed so tired this morning, figured you could use a little boost.” 

She handed him the cup with the two drops mixed in the tea. 

Zuko gifted her with a thankful smile. “Thank you, that’s very nice of you.”

Nice of me… Yeah, sure. Just drink the tea and look at me. 

He started drinking, only to stop after a few sips to have a little chat.

“So, Aang’s training is looking decent,” he started saying. “But I can tell he’s getting increasingly anxious. We might need to keep an eye on him, I wouldn’t want him to start avoiding our sessions.” 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Katara intervened. “I’ll make sure he doesn’t slack on his training. Drink your tea, it’ll get cold otherwise.”

“Alright, alright,” he complied, looking into her eyes. “Thanks again for making it.” 

Katara observed him as he drank the whole thing in one go. Her golden eyes staring at her with an amused shine to them. She wondered how Zuko being in love with her would be like. He didn’t exactly give off the cheesy type vibes, though she knew how much of a dork he actually was. If you fall in love because of a potion, you’re pretty much doomed to grandiloquent gestures and infatuated declarations, right? Well, she wasn’t an expert on the subject. But she did know a thing or two about having feelings for someone.

Toph sneaked into the kitchen, placing her hands on Zuko’s shoulders and giving them one tight squeeze. “Hello there, Sparky, how are you feeling on this lovely day?” 

“Hey Toph,” he greeted her. “Much better after that tea, actually.”

Despite the perfectly normal response, Toph continued with her attack.

“You know what? Sugar Queen over here confessed to me this morning that she felt she looked terrible. I’m clearly not the best judge when it comes to looks.” The vicious smile on her face was a little too obvious. “How is she looking today, Sparky? Isn’t she stunning as usual?”

Oh, no. Katara felt herself blushing. The whole operation had quickly turned into Toph having fun at the expenses of both her and Zuko. But in all honesty, how could she had ever expected otherwise?

“Um, well,” Zuko mumbled, his eyes glued to the countertop. “She looks just the same to me. Like you said, um, she’s got her usual look.”

Katara wished Toph could see the look of utter confusion in her eyes. That was not the response she had imagined. 

Zuko abruptly stood up. “Alright, I think I’ll get back to training. See you two later,” he greeted them. “Oh, and Katara. Thanks again for the tea.”

‘Thanks for the tea’? So much for romantic gestures. 

Toph grasped her arm as soon as Zuko was out the door. 

“What on earth? That was the least romantic interaction ever.” The earthbender exclaimed, looking frustrated. 

“Hey, let’s give it some time. Maybe the effect hasn’t kicked in yet.” 

“Okay, we’ll wait. Man, what a bummer. I was fully expecting him to start a rant about how beautiful you are.” Toph threw her hands up in the air, grunting.

“Patience, we’ll get there,” Katara reassured her.

But am I even sure I want to get there? 

Deep down, a part of her was hoping for it.

The rest of the day was spent with Toph trying her best to get Zuko to do anything remotely romantic regarding Katara, in an attempt to kick off the love potion effects. Much to her frustration, nothing seemed to do the trick. Katara wasn’t sure what to think of it. Did she feel relieved, disappointed, or maybe even bored? Truth be told, it was kind of a mix of all three. 

Katara witnessed as Toph did everything she could. From suggesting they paired up in training all the way up to making them meditate together. All she got from Zuko was radio silence. Well, at least in the sense they were expecting. 

“Are you sure you don’t feel a little weird, Sparky?” Toph asked him for the millionth time during dinner. 

“Um, no? Why?” Zuko had a look of complete confusion on his face. 

“You sure you don’t feel a little more sparky than usual? Don’t you sense some new emotions?” Toph continued. “Anything different?”

“Alright, that’s enough Toph,” Katara interrupted. “You’re scaring the poor boy.”

“Yeah, Toph, what’s all that nonsense about?” Sokka asked. 

“Why should Zuko feel different?” Aang’s voice showed a tad of concern. 

“Nothing, nothing,” Toph replied. “Calm down, you all. I was just wondering.”

Katara noticed the annoyed frown on her friend’s face. She seemed pissed off by the lack of results, the whole plan had been her idea after all. 

After the meal, Suki stayed with them doing the dishes. 

“Are you two going to tell me what’s going on already?” she asked them, with her hands on her hips and an inquisitive look in her eyes. 

“Going on with what?” Toph played the innocent. “We’re just scraping plates.”

“Oh, come on! You have been acting weird all day! Especially you, Toph, asking Zuko the most random questions.”

“What do you say, Sugar Queen, should we tell her?” Toph asked.

“Sure, maybe she’ll even know why it’s not working,” Katara replied. “But Suki, promise not to tell any of the guys, alright?”

Suki let out an exasperated sigh. “Fine, just spill it.” 

“Okay, let me see. We made Sparky drink a love potion with his tea so he would fall in love with Katara. For two days. And before you ask, yes, it’s legit. Oh, but nothing’s happened yet.” Toph´s explanation was accompanied by a playful grin on her face. 

“You’re joking, right?” Suki asked with a sarcastic smirk. “Katara would never be on board with that.”

“Actually,” she said, blushing. “I thought it was kind of a fun idea.”

“Yeah, so much for fun since Sparky hasn’t shown any signs of love and it’s been hours! He should be acting all lovey-dovey already.”

Suki burst into laughter. “Spirits, that’s hilarious! You gave him a freaking love potion and he’s acting as usual?”

“I don’t get what you’re laughing about! Something’s seriously wrong with him! Or us!” Toph complained. “Katara, are you sure you didn’t drink the potion yourself?”

“Yes, Toph, I’m absolutely positive I gave him the cup with the two drops,” Katara replied. 

“Are you telling me you two don’t realize what’s going on?” Suki asked, an amused expression framing her face. “For being the ones to come up with this plan you seem rather clueless.”

A suspicion started to take shape into Katara’s mind. She couldn’t help but ask. “Suki, what are you talking about?” 

“Yeah, come on!” Toph urged her. “Do you know something that we don’t?”

Suki let out a soft giggle. “Well, let’s think about it. You gave Zuko a love potion to fall for Katara, right? Toph, you say it’s a legit one. But Zuko is acting painfully normal. Even though he is under the effects of the potion.”

“Your point is?” Toph was sitting down on the countertop with a desperate expression on her face. 

“If Zuko acts just as usual when he is supposed to be artificially in love with Katara… What do you think it’s the reason?”

“His heart is missing?” 

“The dose wasn’t strong enough?”

“No!” Suki exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air. “He was already in love with her!”

Wait. What? That doesn’t make any sense.

“Spirits, Spirits, Spirits!!!” Toph jumped down the countertop, hands on her head, and on the verge of screaming. “That’s it! Suki, you’re a genius.”

Katara hadn’t even blinked. She was not even entirely sure she was still breathing. Zuko in love with her? It couldn’t be. He had even looked embarrassed by the way the play paired them together. Although she had acted embarrassed as well. And a part of her knew very well why. 

“Sugar Queen, I can’t believe I didn’t realize it sooner.” Toph poked her cheeks. “His heartbeat is all over the place whenever you’re around but again so is yours, and I thought it was just all that love/hate dynamic you’ve got going on. I had actually started to suspect he liked you, but Spirits, I didn´t realize he loves you.”

Love/hate, what? This can’t be happening.

Suki raised a brow. “Hold up, Toph, are you saying Katara’s heart beats faster when Zuko is around?”

“That’s a lie!” Katara exclaimed, snapping out. She couldn’t let her friends figure out the truth. “My heart is perfectly fine, thank you very much. And Zuko is not in love with me!”

“And I suppose you have unlimited access to his mind and that’s how you know that?” Toph deadpanned. 

“No… I - That’s unfair Toph,” she managed to mumble, feeling her heart starting to race on her chest.

“As unfair as the fact that you’re heart is betraying your words in this exact second,” Toph replied. 

Katara wished with all of her strength that the ground opened up and swallowed her. The entire operation had gone sideways. But not in the way she had originally expected. No, it was worse.

“Alright, alright,” Suki intervened. “Enough torturing with Katara, this was supposed to be about Zuko.”

“Thank you. Can we please go back to the point?” 

Toph let out an exasperated sigh. “The point is Zuko is in love with you, Sugar Queen. But not because of the love potion, it seems like he’s been head over heels for you way before drinking that tea.”

“I seriously can't believe you didn’t figure this out sooner,” Suki said. “The question is, what are you going to do about it, Kat?” 

That was a very good question indeed. One she had no answer for. 

“Why should I even do something about it?” Katara asked, a confused look in her eyes. 

“Because I think deep down you want to.” Suki’s tone got serious all of the sudden.

Toph placed a hand on her shoulder. “Sugar Queen, I’m sorry if my prank ended up bringing you a headache. But Suki’s right, you should confront him.”

“Confront him? We’re in the middle of a war! I don’t need any distractions.” Her head was spinning a little too fast.

“Says the girl who complied to give a love potion to Sparky,” Toph remarked.

“Katara, would you seriously prefer to have a lump on your throat until Aang has taken down Fire Lord Ozai?”

Truth be told, she would hate that. A part of her knew she had feelings for Zuko. For that poor firebender she had given a love potion to. Only to have the whole scheme backfire right on her face. Now, she had to stand up to it. 

“No.” She shook her head. “I wouldn’t prefer that.” 

“Then hear me out because I have a plan!” Toph exclaimed, enthusiasm written all over her face. “I know how to get one last bit of fun out of this failure of an operation.”

——

The next day went out according to what the girls had planned. Still hoping for at least a bit of extra romance on Zuko’s behalf - which, unsurprisingly, never occurred - the three of them acted normal all the way until the afternoon. 

After training, Toph cornered the poor Zuko on his way to the beach. Katara and Suki stayed at the shore, discreetly listening. 

“Sparky, this is your last chance!” Toph exclaimed.

“My last chance for what?” The look of sheer confusion on his face was priceless to say the least. 

“Come on! Please tell me you are feeling extra lovey-dovey and maybe I’ll let you walk away without making you even more uncomfortable.”

“Toph, I swear I have no clue what you’re talking about.”

“You’re telling me you don’t feel any special romantic feelings today?”

“Um, no?” His voice had a strain of nervousness to it.

“And what about regular feelings? Got them for anyone? Maybe for someone you drink a lot of tea with?”

“Uh - No? Um, Toph, can I please go now?” Zuko stuttered. 

“Ha! I knew it, you sneaky little bastard! That’s a lie.” Toph threw her hands up in the air. “I can tell you’re lying. I was right, heck yeah!”

Zuko anxiously tried to get past her. “Alright, sure, can I please go down to the beach now?” 

“Don’t you want to know why I’m asking you this?”

“Do I have to?”

“We gave you a love potion, Sparky! A love potion mixed with that tea you drank yesterday. And you were supposed to fall in love with Miss Sugar Queen!” Toph’s was grinning from ear to ear. 

Katara and Suki exchanged a concerned look. That was not part of the plan. Katara was supposed to be the one to tell Zuko about the love potion. After Toph had made sure whether he was lying or not. Then, and only maybe, she would mention the tricky subject of actual feelings. 

“What on earth, Toph?” Zuko’s face was pale as a ghost. “Why would you do that?” 

“Because I've been suspecting for forever that you liked her! And when I got that love potion it was just too tempting not to go for it. I thought it would be a fun experiment! Katara was also on board with it.” 

“But?”

“But it only made me reaffirm my theory! What I didn’t expect is that you don’t just like her, you’re full-blown in love with her!”

“Toph, can you please tone it down? I wouldn’t want anyone else to hear this conversation,” Zuko pleaded.”

Katara was cursing Toph, Suki, Zuko, the moon, the stars, the Spirits, and herself. Toph playing matchmaker as subtle as an elephant trying to fit into her sleeping tent.

“Sparky, don’t you see Katara and Suki over there in the corner? They’re already listening!” Toph waved at the two of them, she had the most amused look on her face.

“What? Toph!” Zuko’s face was now entirely red. “You’re insane.”

“Sh, let me get to the best part,” she shushed him. “I think our dear Sugar Queen has something very important to tell you.”

Toph grabbed him by the wrist and started marching up to them. 

Toph, you’ll pay for this, Katara thought as she found herself in front of Zuko. 

“Now, I think Suki and I have to go do literally anything else but being here,” Toph resolved. “Alright! Everyone’s happy? See you!

“Kat, I’m sorry,” Suki mumbled. “I had no clue about this but I’ll better go.”

The two girls sprinted back to the house, where Aang and Sokka were probably taking care of dinner. 

Her eyes met Zuko’s, and she felt her heart racing inside of her chest. The awkwardness of the situation was remarkable. 

“So… I’m taking it you heard everything Toph said?” Zuko asked, sitting down on the shore next to her. 

“Yeah,” she replied, nervously playing with the sand that surrounded them. “I’m sorry about the love potion thing. It was stupid of me.”

“I just didn’t understand the logic behind it. Were you going to let me be in love with you for all eternity?”

“The effect was supposed to wash out tomorrow…” She let out a sigh. “But I guess it’s the same now.”

“Because you realized that I acted normal around you even with the potion?”

“Exactly.” Katara took a deep breath. “Look, Zuko, I had no clue-”

“Katara,” he interrupted her. “It’s okay. I don’t mind you know.”

“So it’s true then? Are you…”

“Am I in love with you?” He rubbed the back of his neck, his whole body seemed anxious. “Yeah, I am. I guess even more than I knew.”

Silence. Just sheer silence. 

Zuko rushed to continue. “It’s perfectly okay if you don’t feel the same way.”

But she did feel the same way. 

“Look, I think I’m in love with you too,” she blurted out, feeling her cheeks turning bright red.

“You are?” His voice was tinted with astonishment. 

She nodded in agreement. Then, she proceeded to say something else. “The night of the play, Aang felt terrible about the possibility of us being together. He kissed me and… and I pulled apart. I was horribly confused. A part of me knew he has always expected to be with me. But it didn’t feel right.”

Katara made a pause. She couldn’t believe she was actually saying those words out loud. 

“Go on, I’m listening,” Zuko encouraged her.

“Well, I knew I felt something for you for a long time already. But with what happened the night of the play, and now this whole love potion thing… I realize I’m in love with you too.”

Zuko brushed his fingertips against the back of her hand. “Thank you, for being honest with me.”

She squeezed his hand. “Thank you for not wanting to kill me for giving you a love potion.”

“Now what?”

“I don’t know. We still have a war to win.”

A moment of quietness invaded the space between them. Their fingers were intertwined, both of their hearts racing. They were savoring the confirmation of their feelings - and embracing the uncertainty - together. 

“Do you want to wait?”

“Wait?”

“Yeah, until this whole mess is over,” he explained. “We can figure out things slowly, I don’t mind. It’s not like I’m suddenly going to stop having feelings for you.”

“So you would still be in love with me… And I would still be in love with you…” 

“But we focus on winning the war first.” 

Katara tilted her to look straight at him. “Can I occasionally do this, though?”

He made a slight frown. “Do what?”

She didn’t give him much time to wonder. In a split second, she leaned onto him and placed a kiss on his lips. It was sweet, quick, and a little timid. But it was still the first kiss they shared. 

“So?” Katara asked, a light smile framing her face. “Can I?”

Zuko placed his arm around her shoulder, allowing her to rest her head on the creek of his neck. 

He squeezed her hand, chuckling. “Yeah, I think you can.”

“You know  what? I’m really glad Toph convinced me to give you that stupid love potion.”

---- I hope you enjoyed this fluffy little thing I wrote! Feedback is always appreciated! <3 Thank you for reading! @zutaraweek

[mindctrlaltdel]

Random Reviews: Mulholland Drive

This movie is BASIC INSTINCT, written and directed by Salvador Dali.

***

Recently, I watched MULHOLLAND DRIVE for the first time for my friend Shawn Eastridge's podcast, MISSING FRAMES (www.thenerdparty.com/missingframes/episode-103-mulholland-drive).

As I watched this odd, funny, disturbing, interesting flick, I took the following notes. Is it, as some critics say, the BEST FILM OF THE 21ST CENTURY? Here's an inside look at my viewing experience as I mulled over MULHOLLAND DRIVE...

[PRESS PLAY]

I love how the first five minutes is basically a bad late 90's Gap commercial, all swing dancing, no point...

The Mulholland Drive sign is calling to us. The street, Mulholland Drive, is Bali Hai for perverts.

Justin Theroux gets top billing over Naomi Watts??

I gotta admit, I saw one of the movie's original posters and thought "Naomi Watts AND the lady from the first MEN IN BLACK is in this? It's the triumphant return of Linda Fiorentino." When I DIDN'T see her name in the opening credits, I was disappointed. She's NO Linda Fiorentino... for this role, she's even better. AND she's a countess (seriously, look it up). Oh, and Robert Forster shows up for 10 minutes.

Not-Linda Fiorentino has some hustle in her for someone who just survived a horrible head on collision.

I like how the street signs kind of tell us where we are and what kind of world we're in. It's like a surreal, dramatic version of that Californians SNL sketch.

You mean to tell me that the red-headed older woman didn't see not-Linda Fiorentino under her kitchen table? UnbeLIEVable.

Holy crap, the wide-eyed guy in Winky's - he plays Jimmy Barrett, the comedian in MAD MEN... and MAD MEN is an interesting connection here, because everyone talks in this measured, paced deliberate way throughout that series, kind of similar to how the characters usually speak in the David Lynch productions I've seen... When I started watching MAD MEN, I thought the actors were purposely directed to speak that way, so everything to seem more "real" as opposed to that fast-talking, old-Hollywood style that you'd expect to see from outspoken, big idea-types. I imagined that Matt Weiner wanted people to seem - at least to modern audiences - the way people actually were - particularly, the inhabitants of the intelligent and cerebral world of ad men, working behind the scenes, on the fringes of show business. But then Jimmy Barrett, an old-timey comedian ALSO spoke that way. And it just didn't seem authentic to me. Anyway, back to THIS movie...

OH and that dingy woman behind the dumpster! She's like if Captain Howdy moved out West and got all LA on us. Is that Cloris Leachman covered in mud? And the music... for some reason, there's nothing scarier than the sound of an HVAC vent on full blast. (According to this article, www.vulture.com/2014/10/mulholland-drives-evil-hobo-breaks-her-silencio.html,the actress who played Evil Hobo #1 said of her audition process: "I don’t mean to brag, but David Lynch said he was looking for the most incredible face he could find. I actually met him at a Twin Peaks party, and he was like, 'Look at that face!'")

I love the X-Files-style synth strings that play over Naomi Watts (Betty) and gram-gram (Irene) as they walk through the hotel, I mean the airport... Aw, these two old people love Betty. What a different life she's living than that countess who's not Linda Fiorentino who's squatting in that redhead's apartment that Betty's about to move into.

Even then, Naomi had a good American accent. (Although I learned she's technically British but split her time between England and Australia), those Australians are great at spitting out neutral American sounds. But once I learned that Betty is supposed to be Canadian, I was very disappointed. It's not THAT authentic. Where are her "Aboots"? And she didn't put maple syrup on anything in this whole movie.

Oh my God, are Irene and her husband, riding in this towncar, ALSO going to get held up, like not-Linda Fiorentino at the beginning of the movie? Oh okay, they're not. We just followed them for no reason other than to see that they look happier than an old couple in a Cialis commercial. I guess meeting Betty really improved their sex life or something.

Coco - of course she's a fading hollywood starlet... AHHH, Coco is played by Ann Miller - good for her. She's basically that kooky old landlady from SEINFELD, the one who worked with the Three Stooges that Kramer met when he went to LA. Look at all these connections!

"Prize-fighting kangaroo who shits all over the courtyard" - do you think Naomi Watts is going to come out and say, "as an Australian, I was actually offended by this line, but I was scared into silence by that power-hungry monster, David Lynch."

The countess - who now goes by "Rita" - does kind of look like Rita Hayworth. I like the connections to old Hollywood and to noirs and how it's all wrapped together. Rita Hayworth is also a redhead, like Betty's aunt. She's of Spanish descent as well... and the actress playing Rita in this movie is of Mexican descent... Connections, connections.

I love that this casting session is basically run by a deep state shadow organization with a weird waiter in a red blazer... This is how Disney cast WandaVision.

HAHAHAH "That is one of the finest espressos in the world sir!" - this is DEFINITELY how Disney casts their movies. And Justin Theroux is the only man with integrity in this room! Does anyone have any class in this town!? They don't even validate his parking.

This is my favorite movie about making movies since BOWFINGER. And I may not be lying. And somehow less weird than THE ARTIST.

Is everyone gonna start killing each other over Ed's famous black book? This is oddly funny.

"Something bit me bad!" This incredibly long fight scene between the blond guy and secretary... it reminds me of the Uma Thurman/Daryl Hannah trailer fight in KILL BILL VOL. 2 but with less snakes.

These closeups of lingering looks on Rita's cash-filled purse are great... She's pulling wads of cash out of that purse one at a time, like Leslie Nielsen pulling eggs out of that blond lady in AIRPLANE!

I want to know what direction David Lynch gave that braless woman who's following the blond assassin around. It's like she's doing an acting exercise... like you know, when you're told to fill the space... "walk around the room, and clear your head. And now you're walking really fast. And now you're slow. NOW, imagine what it would be like to walk with your nose as the furthest point in front of you. Lead with your nose..." And David Lynch did that and told the braless woman to lead with her chest.

Justin Theroux is basically Robert Downey Jr.'s character from BOWFINGER, except NOW, he's the protagonist.

Betty is loving Rita's amnesia a bit too much. If this were my life, Rita would be the most interesting thing to happen to me too. Hell, if I was from Ontario, getting off at LAX would rock my world.

When Justin Theroux enters his glass-walled home to find his wife with another man, well... Justin Theroux may never star in something like HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN, but I can definitely picture him in YUPPIE WITH A GOLF CLUB.

That slinky theme song playing in Justin Theroux's/Laraine's house is a song that I actually listen to in my tiki, lounge playlist - to give you a hint of my music tastes. What I listen to for fun, Billy Ray Cyrus puts on to drown out his love-making.

By the way, BILLY RAY CYRUS!!! WHAT? Is this how Miley was conceived??? I think yes.

Pink paint in a jewelry box! This is much better than the usual throwing-all-his-belongings-out-a-second-story-apartment-window-scene that happens in every other movie.

I wouldn't be THAT excited if I learned MY name was Diane Selwin. BUT the sexxxual tension with the waitress Diane at the diner is palpable!

So, not-Linda Fiorentino has amnesia. How does she know that answering machine is NOT her voice!?

Justin Theroux/Adam Kesher's wife is very aggressive with the large man who's so dedicated to finding Adam Kesher that he keeps calling Adam's name in vain like the secretary in my doctor's office.

I watched this movie in pieces, the first half late at night. The second half the next morning. In between, while sleeping, I had a dream where Betty and Rita were looking over a map and any time one of their hands brushed over another, their hands would turn gold. As if this was a stylistic choice made by the filmmaker directing my dream to show that there's some kind of deeper relationship between these two women. So I've started dreaming in Lynch.

I like how this film is so utterly connected to not only Lynch's subconscious, but the audience's as well. Lynch is TAPPED IN. I don't always love when a film goes all in with a surreal style, because sometimes that's just a cover for something lacking in the storytelling department. But I do feel there's more to it here, in MULHOLLAND DRIVE.

The hooded woman, Louise... I feel like I've run into her on the streets of New York. A Louise will ALWAYS find a way to give you a portent of doom that ruins your day. Friggin’ Louise.

This movie is so moody, you really have to be in the mood to watch it.

There's something magical and prophetic about the cowboy, like he's the seer that the old general sees on the eve of battle... Also, I love how the lead female role in Justin Theroux's movie is his sword of destiny. There's a glitz and gleam and nostalgia to Old Hollywood that naturally gives this movie, set in "modern" Hollywood," a total fantasy vibe.

Hahaha that "You're still here?" scene rehearsal between Betty and Rita is an excellent transition.

James Karen - the real estate guy from POLTERGEIST - is handling casting! "He moved the headshots but he didn't cast the bodies!!"

The casting direction: "Don't play it for real until it gets real." It's interesting how the characters, who work in the "business," seem to control their reality. Betty seems unsure of where the scene is going, then she gets into it. And it really speaks to her conversion from a bright-eyed new arrival to someone who surrenders to the darker impulses of the city.

HEAVY BREATHING.

Ugh friggin' Bob...

I love how Lynnie, the casting director, pulls the rug out from under that scene. There's always a jaded casting person who totally wrecks any good feelings about every audition. It's a thing.

David Lynch uses nostalgia and a latent love for Hollywood to draw the characters (and us) into his world and then subverts our expectations. A lot.

Why is the screen test just a lip-synching contest? ...I think it feeds into the nostalgia element for the movie at large but it seems like a waste of studio resources here. Early-aughties Hollywood spending, amirite?

Rita's reaction to finding the body is played very much like the reaction a character would have in an older film... The horror! The fear! The silent gaping terror while possessed with the inability to scream. I was watching the original KING KONG before this (which is may be a sign from the universe that I had to watch this Naomi Watts vehicle, as she starred in the remake), and specifically remember the scene where the director Carl Denham is coaching Ann Darrow/Fay Wray on how to act in a horror film - "now look up, and you see it, you see it in all its horror. And your jaw drops and you try to scream but you're so frozen in terror that you can't!" - I imagine that's what Lynch is doing to not-Linda Fiorentino off-camera as they filmed this scene.

Uh-oh, Rita is single-white femal'ing Betty now... She doesn't have a personality of her own, so she's going to take Betty's.... And now we're just getting NUDE with each other. This erotic thriller immediately turned from skintillating to Skinemax.

"I'm in love with you" - is Betty just saying that to convince herself? It feels more lusty than real. Betty's so bright-eyed and bushy tailed. Rita is gonna chew her up and spit her out!

I like the shot when they're sleeping together and, as they rest, their faces overlap thanks to the perspective of the framing. How much of the same person are they becoming? Where does one personality start and the other end?

The weird 2am theater. How'd Rita and Betty find this place? I love how this pop-up slam-poetry reading in this opera house is as terrifying to Rita and Betty as finding the dead body.

So Betty starts convulsing in her seat and then the poet disappears in a kind of old-style, cinematic I'm disappearing effect. I dig it.

Wait... is this a mysterious, magical show that just appears in LA, like Hamunaptra, the City of the Dead, that town in THE MUMMY that only shows up at sunrise on the third day or something like that? Or is this just a poorly attended Spanish-language talent show that could only afford to book this theater at 2am on a Thursday?

I love that Betty and Rita are tearing up over Rebekah Del Rio's performance (Rebekah Del Rio is a real person, by the way). Then, Rebekah faints as her voice keeps singing - is NOTHING real? Has Betty totally given into this weird world to the point that she doesn't really know what's authentic and what's fake anymore OR was Betty fake before she got to LA so it was easy for her to get acclimated.

This movie is like THE MATRIX, from the perspective of characters who only took the blue pill and didn't look back.

OOOH, Betty has the box and Rita has the key! But the box is empty except maybe its the Gom Jabbar pain-box from DUNE. Is David Lynch using MULHOLLAND DRIVE as an excuse to make good on his promise to produce a good version of DUNE.

WAIT A SECOND, the cowboy knows the dead girl? Does this even matter?

Now, wait ANOTHER second. Is Betty performing or DREAMING when she's Diane or is something else going one??

What's the BLUE KEY doing there?

"Two Detectives"??? Is she talking about Betty and Rita OR Robert Forster and the pudgy guy? OR someone else entirely - the two guy's from Winky's???

The movie became more interesting the moment the perspective shifted to "Diane" and "Camilla." When that happened, Naomi Watts really amped up her performance... reaching a level of intensity we hadn't seen since Betty's audition... it does take 2 hours to reach that point.... But then, when Betty and Rita are topless on the couch, I couldn't tell who they were supposed to be until Rita/Camilla called her "Diane."

Wait, now Rita's acting?? OH, so Rita was an actress? And Diane wasn't? Or Betty looks exactly like Diane?

The weird shifts in focus. The sad masturbating. This is the most depressing soft-core ever made!

Did Betty get killed and have amnesia too?

They take a shortcut to Eddie's house which looks EXACTLY like where Rita/Camilla was taken at the beginning of the movie by the hitmen in the towncar before that wild accident with those teenagers made her life weirder... OR less weird. You be the judge.

IS this a flashback or the future. Eddie and Camilla are having an affair?

MY MOTHER? COCO - what's real and what isn't????

The jitterbug competition.... Diane/Naomi wanted the lead so bad, Camilla got the part but in Mulholland Drive, Naomi is the star.

Then, Camilla is kissing that other blond actress who Betty watched screen test...

MULHOLLAND DRIVE is just David Lynch telling us that LA is a place for lust and jealousy and no matter what, purity gets ruined.

WHAT, the blond waitress is BETTY? And Diane hires the blond guy, who's officially labeled as a hitman.

Diane is also from Canada...

Are Diane and Betty just different versions of the same people in nearby parallel universes? I certainly HOPE so. This is too much insanity for ONE universe to handle.

The blue key will be found where the blond guy told Diane. Okay, that makes sense. But if this were to mirror real life, the key was in her hand the WHOLE time!

OH, and hobo-Cloris Leachman comes back... AND she's holding the blue box/Gom Jabbar... WHY the hell did those two old people wander out of that paper bag??? Do they represent longstanding guilt? Seems like it. Because they've just crept into Diane's apartment.

MULHOLLAND DRIVE is almost silly to the point of pretentiousness at points - at least with the last word to be uttered on screen - "silencio." That said, it does evoke the HAMLET line: "And the rest is silence," so THAT's poetic.

Sadly, Robert Forster was barely in this movie...

Oh, and Lee Grant played Louise - the old-Hollywood connections keep coming!

I can't believe this movie was intended to be a pilot?

***

Now, some final notes:

On the swapping of characters and relationships in the last 30 minutes -- my first thought was that Betty/Diane and Rita/Camilla look similar and/or they're connected by a parallel universe, and the diner is like the central hub between worlds, and hobo-Cloris Leachman is the gatekeeper between the two worlds... I buy the "dream world" explanation that some critics espouse, that's something I considered myself as I watched. But I'm not sure I believed Betty is Diane's dream version of herself. Also, I think David Lynch has a feeling about how everything fits together, yet I don't know if he's even settled on an explanation for everything. He just trusted his subconscious and he's so confident in his latent abilities, that we trust him to show us everything we need to see and take us everywhere we need to go.

I enjoy how it's a surrealist answer to SUNSET BOULEVARD. I hope in 2050, someone makes "The 405" really tying all these movies and Los Angeles roads together.

MULHOLLAND DRIVE is weird but good. Still, I don't know if, to me, it's more weird than good. It's also funny. But is it funny because it's weird or because it's actually, genuinely funny? Are these questions David Lynch actually wants me to ask or does he make it weird on impulse to cover for the fact that the film is simply just weird and based entirely on impulse? MULHOLLAND DRIVE is almost like a parody of a film noir, made by an inter-dimensional alien life-form who studied a bunch of movies from the 40's through the 90's but doesn't have a full grasp on human behavior, and DESPITE THAT, it's more of an emotional experience than a logical one. It's somewhere in between. It's self-indulgent in a way but also very giving. It's a paradox wrapped in an oxymoron wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a coffee-stained napkin covered in cigarette ash locked in a small, blue box.

***

Summing it up: I don't think there's a world where this movie would get a perfect score from me. Because ultimately, for all it's interesting and exciting moments, it's more of a passion project for David Lynch than a piece of entertainment for the audience, no matter how entertaining it may be. To me, it's a vision board more than it is a complete film. And yet, it IS a complete EXPERIENCE. And there's nothing wrong with that.

All of that said, I know David Lynch doesn't really like to give viewers a clear cut, traditional narrative. So, I had a feeling the mystery was just that, a mystery. Or even moreso, the FEELING of a mystery. It's not about where we're going, it's about the journey to the destination. And while the general atmosphere is moody and evocative and often powerful, MULHOLLAND DRIVE plays more like a 2.5 hour piece of music than a cohesive narrative. Maybe that's the best thing about it.

In the distant future, when our way of speaking has become as archaic as the words of Shakespeare are to us, it's the feeling and emotions and images of movies like MULHOLLAND DRIVE that will still have a timeless impact on the future audiences who view them.

[hedgefairy]

Well hello there. While I'm waiting for that breeches video I've been talking about to finally upload, here's

Bridgerton, Episode 4

Phew, half time!

If you've missed the other ones, the tag is Bridgerbore, btw.

Okay, so we start of with Dukey who's going home-ish because drama and heartbreak in the last episode. Stop pretending, nobody takes your pouting seriously! We all know it's twu wuv!

Erm. So, I know, I'm white and this is a delicate matter, but I gotta say I'm not super happy about the whole POC-justifying explanation here. I'd much rather have no explanation at all, it worked perfectly well in Merlin, and this is just as much historically inspired fantasy just with less magic, which I'm honestly quite upset about. I'd be far more okayer with the costumes and overall ugh-ness if there was magic.

But honestly, I'm not a fan of shoehorning that explanation in (it doesn't seem to come up in the books, either, where everyone is basically a baguette in terms of whiteness). The fact that the implications aren't discussed any further makes it even worse. We're talking about the British empire here, and while POC are apparently part of the society (but with more pressure, which... no, this is not how nobility works) the wealth and luxury of this age still stems from the exploitation of POC everywhere else. How isn't there a revolution going on? How is this not talked about? From all I see, Bridgerton is a fluffy, pastel, nice alternate version of the 1800s, and I don't get why anyone would put politics in there instead of just doing what TV tropes refers to as "colourblind casting" and be done with it. Either you do the alternate history thing thoroughly, or you just cast people for being pretty (and maybe good actors) instead of the idea the audience might have about a character's skin colour and have weird costumes and just roll with it.

Also the Queen's marriage seems to suck. I would have liked a deeper, more heartbreaking connection between George III and her, especially because I saw how my Grandmother suffered when she gradually lost my Grandfather to dementia, and it would have been a scene where we could see Charlotte as a person rather than a weird plot device in tafetta and bling, but no, she just seems as annoyed and bored and snappish as ever.

This is getting far too serious. Where's the snark?

We get some Tchaikovsky in the background, which is weird, tbh. Yes, I'm perfectly fine with them covering Top 40s hits and using waltzes from the 1950s, but I draw the line at something from the second half of the 19th century! It's not right! It screams its time of origin all over the place, and even worse, most of the characters would probably actually get to hear it later in their lives, it's not a decent anachronism, it just feels like bad research! This is serious business!

No really, where's the snark?

Oooh, I get it now. That was when I was really, really done with bingeing this show. Yes, I tried to get through as much of it as possible in one sitting. The notes read, in very shaky handwriting

I cannot possibly take more than that

in one day

, so let's continue a few days later when I felt like I could muster the courage to face it again.

So yes, I'm pretty sure this waltz is to young for this show.

Aww, look at that, flirting over cheese! I also like that one of the Featherington girls (I can't really tell the non-Pennys apart) has a suitor, they deserve nice things, too.

The musicians are a mood.

WTF with the hair and the strass. We don't like the strass. Make it go away.

I love Prince Freddy. The poor boy. It's doomed from the start!

Ah, Dukey (also at the ball, even though he was whining about things earlier) gets a heartbeat in the background, because twu wuv.

Middle Bridgerbro goes and meets with the Bohéme. I want more of that! That's finally interesting! That's my people! There's a cool bohemian lady with a pretty dress! People look interesting! Aaaah!

There's a random 18th century burlesque singer at this Regency ball, we need to talk about this. Oooh, it's Opera Girl! Cue Lord B turning into even more of an idiot while Ma Bridgerton tries to hook him up otherwise.

Of course Philippa (that's one of the Featherington Girls) can't possibly have anything nice. Thanks, Dad. You don't get to marry someone you like, that's the people across the street's thing! (by which I of course mean the Bridgertons, just in case anyone forgot the location layout here.)

Eloise is being weird to the housekeeper.

"Are you not supposed to be the smart one", the housekeeper retorts and I'm feeling it, followed by a "WTH, hero" about how servants are too busy to be Gossip Girl, you privileged prat. I think I actually snorted.

Penny gossips with Ducktail Colin, but he's more interested in Cousin, whose dress looks like it was made from the cheap curtains my ex best friend had in his first semester at uni, and God, I hate Daphne's kerchief.

Poor Prince Freddie is trying to propose to Protagonis Girl but of course there's Dukey in the background so she simply must run outside as dramatically as possible where he can find her as she equally dramatically rips the necklace Freddie gave her from her milky white throat. P&P-ish banter ensues. Yawn.

Dukey: * broods *

Daphne: * dramatically exits *

Dukey: * romantically follows her*, and oooh, snogging ensues, oooooh, instant second base, but Bridgerbro the Eldest (known also as Lord B) intervenes.

Lord B: "Marry her!"

Dukey: "I can't!"

Lord B: "Bitch!"

Dukey: "I can't!"

Lord B: "I want satisfaction!"

Me: "Don't we all"

Daphne: "You'd rather die than marry me?!"

(the fuck with her hair)

Middle Bridgerbro is still at the Bohéme-party, and still draws (naked people!). Gay vibes ensue, it's cute. This is Netflix after all, and it took four episodes to get some LGBTQ+ representation!

The Featherington's housekeeper looks a lot like O'Brien from Downton.

Cousin tells Penny about what a cutie Ducktail Colin is, also Penny's "night gown" is really cute (it's not a night gown. She's still wearing stays. It's also the only thing in the whole series that fits her well so far). Penny is super upset but gets interrupted by a hyperfocused Eloise. They fight, and Penny goes on about being mature and not being a "pretty Bridgerton", and that Eloise wouldn't understand. I get her, though, and really, having a perfect family and a "bad" family is such lazy writing.

Somber blah blah between Lord B and Daphne happens and Middle Bridgerbro gets dragged into it. He's informed that his life is pretty much over either way (either way being Lord B dying or being exiled for killing Dukey in the scheduled duel) because his oder bro basically just wants out of his duties. Sucks to be him.

Boxing Bro has to host a frustrated, possibly blueballed Dukey and offers himself up as a second for the duel.

Lord B goes and pleads with Opera Girl to get back with him (doooooon't) because of his little duelling plot and of course intercourse ensues. Girl, where's your self-respect?

Lord F comes into his dark study (we haven't seen much of him yet overall, he probably was too busy gambling) and hark, there's Lady F like the mafia boss I feel she should be, wo berates him about said gambling and that they're broke and how much he sucks. He starts crying, thumbs up for male vulnerability!, but it's kinda played for laughs via her awkward patting of him. Because of course (and I bet the late Daddy Bridgerton would never have lost his composure like that, but he didn't gamble, either, and these are the Featheringtons)

Lord B leaves Opera Girl for THE DUEL (I feel like this almost deserves a ™ by now).

We get gallopping horses! The drama! The panache! Daphne asks Ducktail Colin where it's going down because she wants to stop them, insert pandering feminist ranting about her choosing her own life but I don't really feel it and I wonde where her bangs go when she sleeps because her hair looks so different all of a sudden.

Lord B makes Middle Bridgerbro promise to care for Opera Girl in case he dies.

More gallopping horses! Daphne and her billowing cloak are pretty epic, to be honest, and there's Ducktail Colin on her heels. It's basically a family outing now!

Ugh, I like the seconds in this duel so much more. They should just off and go for a pint or something and leave Lord B and Dukey to their misery.

Duelling protocol ensues. Ten steps, blah blah, nice camera work, though.

Daphne full on rides into her brother's bullet, but she's fine (it would have been so dramatic, can you imagine? It would have been interesting!).

Oh no, they were seen (by her romantic rival, back when they had the dramatic make-outery in the park at the ball after the botched proposal. Sorry, Cressida is such a much better name than Daaaaphneeee. I have a RPG character called Cressida, I might be biased.), she's ruined if they don't marry!. and so she is basically emotionally blackmailing him into marrying her. But he can "never give [her] children!", and goes on how she deserves a household full of love like her family home because the Bridgertons are such a perfect family. God, they all annoy me so much.

Daphne ends the duel by saying that the Duke and her are to be married, with a pained facial expression, no less. I think I just wanna throw a pie in her face or something.

And that concludes Episode 4. That was a long one! Only four more to go! So this is

To be Continued!

Thank you for making it this far with me!

[nyarisu]

Rammstein: Paris liveblogging

This live is so fancy! My god, the intro is so dramatic, and the guys haven’t even appeared XD there are even alarm sounds!

Their entrance is *chef’s fingers kiss* and Ollie being the high fantasy dark elf we all asspire to be XD Say what you will about the spasmic editing, this was very nicely filmed!

I love the array of microphones on Till’s coat.

Asdghjl the flags being set into place and then Ollie with the flame! It’s all so badass! Also Schneider is hot XD

Sonne

Oooh they’re starting with this one! Also one of the few times he’s counting.

The instrumental at the beginning is always giving me shivers, it’s so powerfull

And I love the static editing

I can say whatever I want about this song being over mentioned by everyone... but the true is it’s amazing!

Don’t punch yourself, dumb baby.

THE FIRE!!!

Lol @ Richard being a sea urchin XD

The ending was fantastic<3 very dramatic!

Wollt ihr das Bett in Flammen sehen

Aasdfghjkl THAT SHOT OF SCHNEIDER!!!

The doom guy sounds are killing me I love them and the fireworks collars are amazing. I love this song so much!

Schneider throwing the drummstick in the air ♡

„AAAAAAA AAAAA” silly editing of Till every time AAAA BUT FUNNY NONETHELESS

„RAMMSTEIN!”

I love the gloves!

This song always gets me so pumeped up! And the editing makes it even more dramatic and full o energy!

The fire works at the end!

Keine Lust

Unfortunately, I sometimes vibe with this song T_T

It has such a powerful beginning it must be wonderful to hear it live.

Wanna see me fangirl again about Schneider spinning the stick midair and then catching it again?

Flake loks weird and I wouldn’t trust him.

Richard’s „nein, Ich habe keine Lust”

Dear lord Till has wonderfull eyes.

Wtf was with that tongue, Jonas??

Very nice Schnooter shots!

Oh, Ollie is hoodless now. A bit better, I think.

Paul being badass with his guitar.

Till bby who hurt you like this?

(fortunately for me ich habe some Lust hence me doing this liveblog)

Sehnsucht

Let’s geT NOSTALGIC BITCHES

I love that chanting so much!

Did he just made a cross sign??

Till is doing some hammering and Flake is just vibing XD

The chanting! The fire! The atmpshere!! I love everything about this song live

If he doesn’t hit his forhead.... oh, he actually didn’t...

Asche zu Asche

Nice trio in the front~

I swear to god Richard is always sexy on the mic during this song and he’s probably doing it on purpose! And the way he gestures!!

Lol I was wondering when Till will start acting like a slut XD

The keyboards are amazing before the last chorus.

Yesssh microhpones on fire!1

Feuer frei

Ugh that tongue edit again... leave Till’s tongue alone, Jonas!

Auch, that hurt.

BANG BANG

Flake, chase that nonsense right away XD

Leave his eye alone too!

That Schneider smirk when Till came with the mask. I love the masks!

IMAGINE BEING THERE and seeing this asdfghjkl the ultimate Rammstein experience.

Mutter

Some green lightng oh no that’s Mutter better be prepared to have my heart broken. The saddest song to ever sad you have no idea what it does to me.

Richard playing there, he’s really feeling the song.

The guitar solo is amazing!

Till was suffering there and I was shamelessly admiring Schneider behind him XD

God his eyes

The spark shower, if that doesn’t beak your heart even further... (but very nice arms >w>)

*sighs* that was fantastic~

Mein Teil

Wow I can’t belive he even added sound effects to the title melting away gross :))))

I’m getting goosebumps because of the insrtumental, it’s that awesome!

I love the moves schenider has in the background. And everytime he strikes the air with his fist.

Flake popping out of the couldron kils me everytime XD

Too much blood editing.

„da aAS IS MEIN TEIL!”

Schneider is being once again sexy in the back.

Till has funny dance moves but i love his serious face

And Flake being like no thank you I’m not buying anythingXD

Let’s START THE FLAKE COOKING

„you over there, give me your fire throwing thingy” jaaaaaaaa

There is no concert without Fklake’s spastic dance moves XD

Du riechst so gut

The bow!!

„der Wahnsinn” dear lord Richard you’re killing me.

The first time I saw Paul and Till doing that I almost had a heart attack I really thought they were gonna smash their heads together XD I see them doing it for shits and giggles.

I love the synchronised head baniging (more like bodybanging)

Yes, guitars on fire! Congrats on throwing that now jump after it :)))))

I just want to kiss Till’s mouth.

Links 2 3 4

Schneider stop being sexy!

I love the guys’ entrance for this song.

Till being all business. Onwards, my mighty stallion XD

The last chorus was very nice and full of energy (thanks editing).

Du hast

Ugh to those lightnings but otherwise is fantastic.

Do you think they ever get sick of playing it? I never expected this to be Richard’s fav song to play live....

That RZK ass XD

The fire!

Oh the keyboard must be divine live~

It must be really impressing to have a full hall singing just for you.

And then my favourite part! All that thing wiht shooting fire that comes back and then the whole stage exploding! Definitely my favourite R+ effect. Really nice image

Haifish

This gave me goosebumps again

„Sechs Herzen, die brennen” *choking* thanks for the feels-

Flake is really brave for doing that boat thingy. I could never.

Lol those dance moves, unexpected butf unny as usual.

Till clapping for Flake XDDD silly

I like the pose he aodopted while waiting for the song to move on.

Buck dich intro

This gets it’s own section because I love the instrumental so much!! Or remix, whatever you wanna cal it. It’s fantastic<3

And Richard enjoying every eye on him :D Nice ass anyway.

Weird over editing I don’t understand but whatever, we’re ignoring that.

Woo woo machine XD

Asdhjkl the BRIDGE IS COMING DOWN

THEY ARE COMING SDFGHJKLSCJHNV EJUSCD

Hello Frau Schneider and her puppies #till lehman is a sub

One of my favourite Till looks.

Of course he must be humping something or someone XD

Schneider x Rchard banter is the best. And then bodilly dragging Till onto the stage<3 I HAVE LOTS OF FEELINGS ABOUT THIS WHOLE THING OK??

Look at him being a good puppy RHI WHERE IS YOUR FIC??

Buck dich

Honestly now what is better that a shirtless Till with a colar?

The most syncopated instrumental ever. They are fucking crazy (I love them).

I was reminded of this fic XDD

Wow imagine being there and seeing Buck dich for the first time that is wild

„why are you wet?” „eh, I was too close to the stage” (part 1)

„NOCH EINMAL!!!”

The whole ending with Till and Schneider was hilarious XDDD

Man gegen man

Let’s go with that gay song! XD

Dumb editing but I’m focusing on Flake dancing beside Till.

He has an amazing back<3

I love how he goes crazy during the solo.

Wow Jonas went full with the editing for a few seconds didn’t he?

Also Till did something very sexy with that watter bottle.

Ohne dich

Time to have no feels again

I want that collar too.

Paulchard vibing together’

The hall looks amazin with all those little light on!

Dear lord Schneider looks fantastic.

Paul being cute again XD

Asdfghjkl Till crossing that bridge gave me a nose bleed tbh

Mein Herz brennt

My favorurite instrumental ever! And the one who convinced me to listen to this band.

A little sad they put on shirts again but hey, at least RZK took his off XD

The glowing heart is a loved effect but I preffer the current one to this, the timing is better now.

Amerika

Live is the only way I’m not skipping this song. The last time I listened to it is probably the last time I watched this very live XD

Are they actually whistling?

Why do they all look so good?

Flake, what are you doing? :)))

Ich will

Richard’s arms lookin fine and Till is being a slutt with the microphone again XD

Was that chick shirtles? XDD

Nice firework at the end.

Engel

So... is this whistling real or?

Those wings... in Till’s defence, I thing the floating wings are much more spectacular and much easier for his back too.

Pew!

Why!! Why do you edit those things?? They are gonna give me nightmares!

But whatever the wings on fire are cool.

Really Jonas this is not an anime stop enlarging eyes.

Pussy

Another badass entrance, considering the song XD

„Er könnte etwas größer sein” will always kill me :)))

Oh, your eyes are so pretty~

Poor mic stand.

The dick canon! To be in the first few rows... XDD „why are you wet?” „eh, I was too close to the stage” (part 2)

I love how wide Till’s back is<3

„let’s do it QUICK” peak slutiness from Herr Lindemann :)))))

I love how they all gathered around Schneider.

It impresses me so much everytime they kneel for their audience<3

Looking very nice there, Ollie!

I thought Schneider was gonna do a backflip with how he streched XDDD oh, hello Richard~

Fruhling in Paris

Till has very nice legs.

Not saying anything about him floating off like a damn fairy :)))))

I love evey time one of the others is singling along (this time: Schneider)

And Flake just ran off XD

Conclusions:

Tbh when I’m lacking motivation I really should watch this live it gives so much energy!

The Amerika / Engel whistling question still stands.

2 hours of nothing but Rammstein. I approve

[sieben9]

“nimue” impressions

{Quick request to anyone reading: I'm watching OUaT for the first time, and I want to avoid spoilers. So, if you want to discuss something spoilery, I'd be grateful if you could start a new post for that. Thank you!}

Today on Once Upon a Time: all of the worldbuilding!

Or, alternatively, “It’s a Trap!”, the episode. Either works, really.

there’s something for everybody in here

Damn, but this episode had some doozies. Though, on the plus side: Merlin made it out, which I will admit, I did not expect. (Look, he’s obviously not in a good place in the present-day plot, and I know what this show does to people of colour. I think my pessimism was justified.)

More under the cut, and not a trap, either. I promise.

This was another “all flashbacks, all the time” episode, except for the frame story, which… yyyyeah, that was quite something, wasn’t it?

what about “leave the sword alone” was so hard to understand?

I am also thinking that the Dark One horde wasn’t paying attention in Camelot. Because if I remember correctly, Merlin said that Emma had to be ready to let go of the Darkness before she could ignite the flame. Soooo… I’m guessing that Emma is pulling a massive glass, and I and so here for it.

Anyway, meanwhile in the flashback(s)…

ah, doomed young love…

There were several things I liked about this story, not least of all that I like Merlin a whole bunch, and I’m glad we got some backstory from him. The love plot was sweet, and I enjoyed getting more often look into Merlin's past and personality. And I loved getting his perspective on immortality, since that is something he shares with the Dark One. I assume that outliving your loved ones is not often an issue, but it was something I thought about regarding Rumple. (Not so much for Emma, because this is still fresh for her.) He is hundreds of years old, and Belle... well, she isn't immortal. I just wonder if they ever talked about that. (Mind you, considering all the other things they never talked about, I'm probably safe in guessing "No")

But, back to Merlin. I have to admit, I suspected something along these lines would happen all the way back, when Nimue told him about her village. It seemed like too big a deal to be just an excuse for the two of them to meet. (Also, the description of the villain in the mask was a bit of a giveaway.) Watching them fall in love, was still heartwarming, and I'm glad we got to see this bit. Even though nothing dramatic happened, I was invested enough in the relationship sad when the inevitable end came.

and thus, the tradition of the dark skin condition was born

I am… not entirely sure what to think of "creation myth" of the Dark One. On the one hand, I admit that I was expecting something "grander". On the other, however, the basic story elements are absolutely my jam. In the end, the Darkness is not some demonic outside force. It was created by humans making bad decisions, and that's a story I can always love. (Yes, I know. Sieben likes a story about free will and human fallibility? Unprecedented. Absolutely shocking.) Also, this has nothing to do with anything, but I couldn't help noticing that Mask Guy had the exact eyes that all Dark Ones later have. Like I said. Nothing to do with anything, I just thought it was neat.

And, because I can’t leave well enough alone, I do want to mention that I was a little peeved by the whole Original Sin vibe of Nimue bringing dark magic into the world (and apparently inventing Cora’s favourite trick at the same time). Just… I would appreciate it, if you calmed it a little on the female villains, show, is all.

The whole "this is where Prometheus brought down fire from the gods" is also the second time this arc that Greek mythology is brought into the mix. Mind you, not complaining, it’s just weird that it happened twice.

Obviously, Emma’s trip with Merlin to the same place was supposed to mirror in contrast the scene with Nimue. And while we’re on it… No wonder the poor sod thought she was going to die. Last time he was here the woman he loved betrayed him (and everything he stood for) and in his eyes, there was no reason why Emma should be any different. In fact, there was less reason for her do the right thing. And on top of everything else, he knew who was in Emma’s head, egging her on.

talk about holding a grudge…

And you know what? For once, I’m 100% willing to forgive the poor communication on Merlin’s end. That’s not something you can really talk about, with strangers. I mean, he should have, but I can absolutely understand why he didn’t. Poor bastard...

The funny thing is, Emma didn’t really do the right thing out of a sense of duty or honour or anything like that. She did it because she was pissed off. Oddly enough, for someone living in her head, Nimue hit the one button that was sure to get Emma’s contrariness going. She was just about ready to kill Merlin, and then Nimue try to play on her insecurities. It was both awesome and hilarious.

i like to imagine that emma got to hear nimue's inner monologue here, and that it consisted of the words "oh shit" repeated multiple times

I also liked the walk down the hill. It’s always nice to see characters just talk, and these two have an interesting relationship, anyway. (Oh, and Emma’s comment about Nimue still loving Merlin? Yeah… That’s… That’s fine. Didn’t need that heart. Still hasn’t recovered from “The Bear and the Bow”, anyway, so how bad could it be? Seriously, Dark Ones and the people they love. It messes me up.)

Of course, then everything went to hell. In a handbasket. [Insert obvious joke about how Ruby probably left one at Granny’s]

You know, seeing how Snow took the brunt of this “betrayal”, I probably shouldn’t be mad at her, but somehow, I still am. Yes, I get it, seeing a pregnant woman in distress can mess with your head, but still. This is Zelena we’re talking about. You can’t trust her as far as you can throw her. Not even close. And now look what happened.

…doesn’t look good, does it?

In the original plan wasn’t even half bad. It could have worked. It really could have. Instead, the resident asshole has control of the realms’ most powerful sorcerer now. There’s just no way this will and well.

So… Mildly worried about that next episode. Just a tad.

yeah, you can shut all the way up.

[doomedandstoned]

Seven Records That Stirred The Pot in 2018

~By Jacob Mazlum~

Ten is such a passé number. Top ten album lists are for the sheeple. We nonconformists like to be individual and only make Top-X lists that aren’t divisible by five.

We like the number seven though, because it’s edgy and cool, just like us. So here are seven albums you probably didn’t hear in 2018, but they’re my favourites and they really do deserve your time -- if you enjoy staring into the all-consuming abyss. They do anyway.

Go listen...

Esoctrilihum

Pandaemorthium (Forbidden Formulas To Awaken The Blind Sovereigns Of Nothingness)

Pandaemorthium (Forbidden Formulas To Awaken The Blind Sovereigns Of Nothingness) by ESOCTRILIHUM

France does it again, with yet another one of its sons churning out yet another forward-thinking extreme metal masterpiece. Pandaemorthium (and the rest of that pointlessly long album title) is what metal needs -- something that manages to be simultaneously challenging, engrossing and strangely fun.

It uses death metal as the blueprint upon which it builds its twisted spires of warped black metal and dank sub-basements of doom. This moves and evolves in a way that makes other "blackened death metal" sound like a croaky Motorhead. Truly, it’s the delicacy with which the obtuseness and extremity is handled that is most impressive here.

This is a solo project, too. Yes, it’s all just one guy. I’m not sure if I, Voidhanger Records got lucky or if Esoctrilihum did in this arrangement, but they make a perfect match.

Uada

Cult of a Dying Sun

Cult of a Dying Sun by UADA

By the end of the first song on my first listen of Cult of a Dying Sun I realised why I loved it so much. It’s because it reminded me so much of Let The Devil In-era Sargeist, which is a quick way to get into my heart. The rest of the album may not have committed itself to this sound as much as expected, but by then I didn’t care; it already had me hooked.

Done wrong, this kind of black metal can sound bad, like really bad. The kind that makes you not want to take a chance on unfamiliar artists. But Uada execute their individual parts so competently that any doubts are banished. The sheer musicality of each passage is a joy to hear and it’s all executed with such damned sincerity.

It’s shamelessly melodic, with the clear production bringing out every note and embellishment with clarity. This stellar production even gives the album a thick woodland-sounding atmosphere that is probably responsible for the Cascadian touch of certain parts, almost making it sound like the vibrant younger sibling of Marrow of the Spirit.

But it’s not Agalloch, it’s not Sargeist. It’s Uada, and any fan of USBM should find something in here to love, even if it’s just for one spin. Go Portland!

Inexorum

Lore of the Lakes

Lore of the Lakes by Inexorum

What happens when you get a remarkable metal musician and a highly-lauded producer together to work on a frostbitten black metal project with an unwavering commitment to melody and high fidelity? You get Lore of the Lakes apparently, and despite it sporting the kind of title to make you think Amorphis-worship or power metal nerdery, the album is actually really impressive.

It’s the ex-solo project of Carl Skildum, live guitarist of Obsequiae (who I should note are one of my favourite metal bands in existence right now), and RIAA-certified gold producer Matt Kirkwold -- or at least that’s what Bandcamp tells me.

My ears simply tell me this is black metal of yesteryear played with modern sensibilities and a thoughtfulness that negates any concerns for trends or time periods. There’s a slight Windir vibe in Lore of the Lakes that is at once more chilled and more furious than the band’s seminal '90s work, and I can’t get enough of it.

Ignore the front cover, this is totally worth listening to.

Burial Invocation

Abiogenesis

Abiogenesis by Burial Invocation

Think of Turkey and death metal probably isn’t the first thing to come to mind. Spend enough time there though and you begin to understand how metal can find a natural home in that blood-stained gateway between Europe and Asia. There’s something in the spirit of the place, something that makes you imagine it being a potential hotbed of quality E-string pummeling just waiting to be created. (Anyone in doubt about Turkey’s pedigree in modern music should check out the history of Turkish disco.)

Well, as you might have guessed by now, Burial Invocation are a Turkish band whose brand of death metal impressed me so much that I don’t much feel like making any myself...ever.

In truth, I don’t know where to start with this record. It’s huge, it’s elaborately constructed, and it weaves between sections with a technical prowess that impresses with tastefulness rather than rote motor-function wizardry. This is 2018 death metal done near-perfectly.

Svartidauði

Revelations of the Red Sword

Revelations of the Red Sword by Svartidauði

The best Icelandic metal band ever to exist came back in 2018 with their first full-length since 2012’s Flesh Cathedral. The three interim releases could only muster a footnote quality due to their short lengths, and could never conjure the labyrinthine aura of winding lava-tunnel madness that only builds with an extended runtime.

Having visited Iceland this year, it became apparent that this is a nation that lives alongside the nature of the land, rather than simply building on top of it. Nature may have been partially tamed in certain urban areas, but never felt defeated as in most other developed countries.

With this in mind, the vibe of Svartidauði and their compatriots Misþyrming started to make more sense, and whilst the airy magic of the latter is impressive (enough to make them to be my favourite band of Brutal Assault this year) it is the earthy, subterranean texture of the former that truly grabs me.

The thick textures and muscular vocals are more Neurosis than Immortal, and they take this album outside the realms of the predictable. Yet it is the simple joy of treading ever deeper into Svartidauði’s dark and heated underworld that makes this journey so persistently rewarding.

Under

Stop Being Naïve

Stop Being Naive by Under

Considering I’ve spent the last five years devoting far too much of my time and resources to my doom band, it’s amazing how few bands in this area manage to move me anymore.

Doom is one of the great unexplored lands of metal, second maybe only to black metal in terms of potential (in fact, doom has far more potential than black metal ever did -- black metal just ran with it far better). It lets you explore atmosphere, texture, pacing and genre-melding in a way that would sound fundamentally incompatible with other subgenres. It has a spiritual element to it, a ritualistic quality, and this should make it the artistic breadbasket of the metal world.

This may not be the case, but thankfully there are bands out there that realise the potential doom holds. These bands build upon the fundamental tenets of doom to craft something new that isn’t neutered by convention. Under are one of these bands, and Stop Being Naïve is one such album.

I don’t even want to talk much about the album itself. There’s too much to say. There’s too much going on that’s worth discussing. This isn’t a review, it’s a synopsis, but a synopsis can’t capture anywhere near the breadth of what Under consistently achieve through the album’s runtime. I could throw out names like The Jesus Lizard, Mr. Bungle, Bauhaus, but that would only set unhealthy expectations.

The best way to experience Stop Being Naïve is simply to be a fan of sludgy doom and have a desire for something truly new. No, not just some new riffs, but for a new conceptualisation of what doom can be.

Truth be told, a whole lot of doom fans probably won’t like Stop Being Naïve, and that’s the highest praise I can give it.

Délétère

De Horae Leprae

Whilst this list is in no particular order, Délétère’s offering can confidently lay claim to my award for metal album of the year. One of the most noteworthy of the Québécois black metal hordes, Délétère have always been impressive with their past output but seem to have upped their game even further with De Horae Leprae.

Much like Uada, it is the sheer accessibility that makes De Horae Leprae so likeable. Melodies buzz with clarity and chord progressions fall with the dramatic weight of Maiden in their '80s prime. These are songs, like real songs. They have build-ups and crescendos and bridges and dynamics and the same emotional gravitas that makes even a band like Goatmoon so musically enjoyable despite their subject matter.

This never stops Délétère descending into spells of atonal BM madness when the occasion calls for it though. They may never plummet the aurally uncomfortable depths Deathspell Omega manage, but that’s not the reason you listen this Québécois stuff anyway. You listen to it for its majesty, for its dark tales of times long past, for its cross-Atlantic ice-tinged otherness. Délétère have created something with De Horae Leprae that few others ever have, and few others ever will.

[fantroll-purgatory]

@crashedquartz

(And this is my newest boyo! The design to the left is from when he went by Aticko, the one on the right is what he uses now)

I love this character because killing himself off and then assuming a new identity is exactly the kind of idiotic thing an eccentric rich 13 year old would do.

Planet: Alternia

Name: His actual name is Aticko Valleh, but he goes by Ankuri Skennl. I forget how I came up with Aticko Valleh, but Ankuri Skennl comes from the Finnish terms for “anchor” and “pretend”, which I used since he’s ‘anchored’ to the ‘pretend’ person he is now

My guess is that Aticko is probably a mutation of Aktor. The only other thing I could imagine is you getting it from Atico, which is like… A spanish word for Penthouse. Either way, I think that justifies keeping the name! The surname, though… I might change to Vallan. That comes from Vallancy, which is a large wig which shades the face, and wigs are great for actor themed characters- plus it foreshadows his costumey future.

I like the anchor justification for the name. You have to remember he picked it out himself, though, which means I might make him a little piratey, because if you’re going to pick a name like Anchor Faker, you’re going to probably take a little bit of Gamblignant inspiration.

Age: 7 ½ Sweeps

Blood Color: Violet, although he’s disguised as a cerulean

Strife Specubus: Dualbladekind- He essentially uses a staff with blades on each end

Hmmm. Sounds like a 2x1Naginatakind? Since that’s essentially a polearmx2. 

Fetch Modus: Mystery Bag Modus- Every item is put into a unique bag, and to get the item you want you’d have to guess based on the exterior of its bag alone, which is different for every item

You could do a Mystery Bag/Prog Bag Modus where everything is kept in a Single bag and he has to tell what the items are based on feeling alone? It just feels more Actory.

Symbol and Meaning: His true sign is based off of Aquamino (The Sign of the Tilted) and his fake sign is based off of Scormino (The Sign of the Fatalistic)

Trolltag: discreetThespian [DT]

Hmmm, this sounds too straightforward. thespErsponifaction, maybe? Thesp still being a reference to thespian, leading right into Personification, which references a Character. It’s a subtle hint that he’s playing a character while being juuust subtle enough for no one to pick it up. 

Quirk: “Borders #is text wit# quotations and uses ’#’ instead of ‘H’”

Lusus: Orcadad, a killer whale who he doesn’t live with anymore, although he tries to visit him whenever he can because good gosh does he miss him

I always hate having to do this, but orcas are aquatic mammals, not Actual Fish, and aquatic mammals are for purplebloods, not violets. Maybe you could utilize an octopus who is really good at hiding and disguising himself? He goes back and visits the secret little cave where the octodad stays every now and then. A lusus in camouflage is good for his theme, too!

Personality: Ankuri is right on the border between being overly cautious and not cautious enough. He’s very conflicted with how he feels about a lot things, like how he wants to be well known as an actor and yet doesn’t want too much attention on him at the same time. He tries to act casual but in reality he’s always got a nagging feeling that someone knows his secret or is going to find out somehow. He’s sort of reserved but all around a nice person so long as you don’t seem like a threat to him.

It’s definitely a fun character to work with. There are a lot of actors who really love having attention on them for their art, but Hate being seen and known outside of the context of acting, so it makes sense. If he fabricates an entire persona, so he is Always acting, and can never be Known for his own self. 

I have a suggestion: Perhaps he also realized that as a violet, his talent was secondary to his blood. Directors would hire him on for roles Because he was violet- Violets are said to be able to do just about anything in Alternian society. Everyone entertains whatever whim they have. A director might worry that he’ll become violent if he doesn’t get his way and thus hire him for the Wrong Reasons. This could’ve made Aticko fear that his talents weren’t being appreciated and he wasn’t actually going to be able to grow as an artist, and could’ve been a core motivator for the death faking.

Background: Formerly known as Aticko, Ankuri is a violetblood who felt like he wasn’t cut out for having so much power and responsibility to uphold. After much planning (and not too much consideration of the outcome) he decided to fake his own death and run off to the surface, and that’s exactly what he did. While he was sad about leaving his lusus, for a time he had no doubts that he’d made the right decision in restarting his life as a ceruleanblood and becoming an actor. His thoughts have changed heavily on the matter now, but its far too late for him to change his mind, so he just has to live with it.

I’m sure he could eventually arrange some dramatic reveal nonsense. Oh my friends, look, for I have risen from the dead, no totally-

Interests: Musicals, writing, the lifestyles of landdwellers (if you have any suggestions for more I’d love to hear them!)

Costume design! He’s got to have some cerulean #looks if he’s going to blend in. He doesn’t have to only like theater-related stuff, though. You could play around with a little more depending on his personality. He could like board games, etc. I can’t really tell you where to go w/ those kind of hobbies, though! If he’s nervous about being caught, maybe he could like divination hobbies? Like pulling runes to see his fortune, or using tarot cards for personal readings… 

Title: Mage of Doom

Pretty fair. He needs to understand the consequences of his actions and getting on with the knowledge of impending destruction Is kind of the best way to learn about consequence.

Land: Land of Splash and Pretend

How about Splash and Pose? It just flows a little bit better! 

Dream Planet: Prospit

Design:

On the left I didn’t really do much of note, so I’m not going to go into detail there. Just some very minor color shifts. On the right, there’s some more to say, though! 

Horns: The horn additions in his costume I feel are a little risky. They could easily get knocked off and reveal the truth. So instead of that, I decided to chip into just one of them. Carved in juuust a little to create a new branch without looking painful. 

Hair: The scarf to hide the fins is also a little precarious. He can’t wear that when he’s acting, after all. So I decided to give him some cleverly styled hair. Little loop buns that are tied around the fins to keep them concealed. I also gave him a little clip-on cobalt extension. He probably can’t dye his hair cobalt, but he Can clip it on. And he can use the excuse that he hairclips it instead of dyeing it so that he can easily take it off for roles. 

Outfit: Like I said I wanted to just bring in a light amount of Gamblignant vibes. So I gave him a nice black top with a sash around the middle. The pants are just tucked into his ankle boots, which I edited from Terezi’s flarp boots (which I love too much). 

He’s a great character! Thank you for sharing.

-CD

[beevean]

I’ve always liked to describe music and rate it, so I thought to put here my top 30 Sonic Forces tracks, and maybe in the future I’ll do the same for other games.

Under the cut because it’s a top 30, so it’s pretty long :V I couldn’t do less, I’m sorry!

@bookvideogamemaniac @ramenbomber  @dizzydennis

30) Eggman Empire Fortress: Iron Fortress

This is what happens when you mix the intensity of Scrap Brain and the dissonance of Death Egg. It’s suitably dramatic, and the harsh Genesis-esque sounds help the sense of being surrounded by cold, deadly metal. It feels very heavy for some reason. *insert joke about Classic’s physics*

29) Green Hill: Arsenal Pyramid - Interior

More Eggman bases should have a dance theme. This track manages to fit the sterile, technological environment, the context of a base infiltration and, while it does remind a bit of White Acropolis, manages also to be unique in the OST.

28) Green Hill: Arsenal Pyramid

While I’m happy there are some guitars, here they were really needed as the main instrument, as the saw wave not only doesn’t fit with the general Green Hill environment, but makes the whole track sound really similar to Sunset Heights. What stands out, at least, is how serious it is, especially the climax. It wouldn’t be out of place in a final level.

I also really like the piano at the beginning. It’s a nice touch.

27) Mystic Jungle: Casino Forest

I had no idea this one was composed by Tomoya Ohtani! I was so sure it was Naofumi Hataya, it just screams “Genesis-era”! The whole track fits perfectly the setting of a deranged casino area - somewhat spooky, but still with that bouncy feeling of many casino themes. (wish the level itself complemented the pinball gimmick with the forest background...)

Also when it was first revealed the official Sonic account pointed out the amazing bass, so... listen to that amazing bass. Very reminiscent of Casino Night’s, but more energetic.

26) Mystic Jungle: Luminous Forest

Unfitting with the stage? Yes. Didn’t need the saw wave at all? Absolutely. Catchy? Also absolutely. It helps that here the wave is accompanied by some very nice guitars reminiscent of the Adventure series - this whole soundtrack needs more of them, so any track with rocking guitars gains instant points from me. The funky bass solo near the end of the loop is just the cherry on top. An energetic old-school tune all around, it could’ve been much higher on the list if it didn’t suffer from Sonic Adventure 2 syndrome and wasn’t so unfitting for the level.

I once compared it to a Bad Future version of Savannah Citadel Day, and it was nice to see I wasn’t the only one thinking that!

25) Metropolis: Metropolitan Highway

This song is so happy! I still call it “Skyscraper Scamper Day Good Future”, and with good reason. It wouldn’t be out of places in a Riders game!

I don’t know what else to say. It just puts a smile on my face every time I listen to it. It’s very Sonic-y, that’s the best way to put it.

24) Boss: Infinite (Showdown)

As I pointed out a while ago, this one was composed not by Ohtani, but by Yutaka Minobe, a far less famous composer and pianist who’s largely responsible for a good chunk of the first two Advance games’ OSTs and miscellaneous tracks like Black Doom. From the tracks I’ve linked it’s easy to recognize his style in this orchestral piece that barely resembles the original theme anymore, unless you pay attention to it.

I’m disappointed in how little dubstep there’s here, but while the track doesn’t have a clear melody (aside for those short sections that call back Infinite’s theme, and to be fair they are really good reprises), it compensates by being highly atmospheric and making the final showdown with Infinite feel far more epic than it actually was.

Maybe there’s not much dubstep to symbolize how Infinite is going to lose control of the Ruby? Just speculating.

23) Boss: Infinite (First Bout & Second Bout)

Infinite’s boss remix is a wonderful mess of metal, dubstep and... a genre that I’ve seen multiple times being compared to k-pop, for some reason. It may take a while to grow on you, but it’s catchy from the get-go. Who could’ve thought this style would fit our new favorite edgelord so well?

I put these together because there are mininal differences within each other. However I slightly prefer the second version, it’s more danceable and not as repetitive as the first one.

22) Mystic Jungle: Aqua Road (Moonlight Battlefield)

While I admit this one dropped down a lot since it was first revealed (my only problem is that it’s pretty repetitive), it’s still pretty good, and it continues the sweet tradition of having a piano for the aquatic stage (if you want to call the slides gimmick “aquatic”).

I like how the echoing piano feels very light and how at the same time it’s contrasted by the strong synth bass and the electronic drums. The singer’s voice just makes everything prettier. A lovely theme with melancholic lyrics.

21) Mystic Jungle: Eggman's Facility

I’m not a fan of Sonic Adventure 2′s soundtrack, but I can at least appreciate White Jungle for standing out among the endless buttrock and for fitting both the stage and Shadow’s emotional state at that point. DnB really suits him.

This remix emphasises pretty much everything that made the original good, making both the lyrics and the guitars clearer. It’s pretty much a modernized remastered version, and it seems it was composed precisely for Shadow infiltrating Eggman’s base in Mystic Jungle. They choose the right track.

20) City: Enemy Territory

I have a mixed relationship with ShTH, and the same goes for its soundtrack: I hate half of the OST and love the other one, no in-between. In the half I love there’s the Westopolis theme - I don’t care if you’re forced to hear it 10 times in one of the dullest level in the game, the track itself is pretty badass, and yes, nostalgic for me.

So you can imagine how much I squeed when I realized they remixed it for the Shadow DLC.

I especially like how they made the main melody clearer and not as drowned under the edgy noises, while still keeping the overly-badass mood of the original. It even fits the aesthetic of Sunset Heights! And it even includes a Radical Highway cameo for free, because why not.

The PC version (beta version?) is not so bad either! It’s just more subdued.

19) Chemical Plant: Space Port (Fighting Onward)

A perfect introduction to the Avatar music style. The cold synths couples with the steady rhythm makes me imagine the Avatar walking in the middle of a blizzard, and the bass gives that touch of determination.

18) City: Red Gate Bridge

Very tranquil and somber, with a “calm before the storm” vibe to it. The piano and the strings go very well with the saw wave and the synth bass. Not easily hummable but memorable nonetheless.

A shame the main stage wastes it, but at least this one plays during those mini acts... other tracks aren’t so lucky.

17) Metropolis: Capital City (Virtual Enemies)

We will defeat insanity~

There’s something about the chords and the overly distorted voice that really fit both the futuristic, shiny, and sterile look of the city and the unsettling context of being mindraped by Infinite. It’s also pretty fun to sing out loud! Another track that could’ve come out from a Riders game, albeit more downbeat than others.

16) City: Park Avenue (Justice)

How can a track from June 2017 feel already nostalgic? This was the first music theme officially revealed, and what an impression it made. Like many, many other tracks in this soundtrack, it took me a while to fully appreciate it, but now it’s pretty much a classic in my book. Here the synths used truly shine - the chords at the beginning immediately set the mood and both solos convey the Avatar’s strenght and determination. Energetic and catchy, with cheesy (in a good way!) lyrics, it might as well be the symbol of the Avatar music style.

15) City: Sunset Heights

Another track that by now feels familiar. I just never get tired of this one, I could listen to it in a loop for twenty minutes straight. It reminds at the same time of Sonic Runners and Sonic Heroes, if not ShTH, almost a much more lighthearted version of Westopolis - fitting, all things considered - or Final Haunt. While the saw wave here goes very well, it’s the clean guitar that makes it for me, it gives the composition a nostalgic feeling. This is pretty much the very first theme that comes to my mind when I think of Forces.

14) Metropolis: Null Space

Poor track. You deserved so much better than what you got.

Even without knowing the context, you can perfectly picture in your head a vast, empty, dark, otherwordly place, and the eerie reverberating piano, the ethereal choir, and the subtle glitching noises are sure to send shivers down your spine. It being a dark reprise of the piano bridge of Fist Bump doesn’t help.

(side note: this was co-composed by the aforementioned Yutaka Minobe. I’m sure he’s also the one who plays it)

13) Green Hill: Virtual Reality

Who doesn’t love Supporting Me? It’s a fan favorite for obvious reasons. It’s been remixed in Generations 3DS, and once again in Forces, and each version is better than the last. This version is much less somber, with the added guitars, the synths replacing the strings, and the more frantic drums, and the whole remix feels like it mixes both genres that represented Shadow in Adventure 2 - heavy rock and DnB.

This is also the only track in the Shadow DLC that features dubstep to represent Infinite’s influence, which I think is a nice touch. The only downside is that the chorus isn’t a dark reprise of Live and Learn anymore.

At first I found it very odd that this plays in the bright Green Hill, but the soundtrack dissonance helps the feeling of creepiness and uncanniness Infinite was aiming at in the story. The lyrics also talk about illusions, so...

The PC version lacks most of the guitars, but that means you can enjoy the synths more, especially in the chorus. I almost prefer this version for this reason.

12) Fist Bump - Piano Ver.

Hey, remember when Aaron trolled us all by implying Tails was gonna die? :D

But even if this melancholy rendition of the main theme plays just in the theater option, it’s still lovely, the kind of piece you’d listen to in a rainy day with a mug of hot chocolate in hand. You can almost hear the gentleness of the player’s fingers.

11) Fist Bump

Speaking of the main theme!

This song just screams “early-2000s”, and it’s food for all the Adventure children inside of us. It’s corny and proud of it. It will never ever leave you head. It’s pure adrenaline in musical form. It has a piano bridge and a sweet guitar solo. You can’t ask for more from a Sonic song.

Shout out also to the Invincibility theme, a catchy 16-bit rendition of the chorus! And of course, the very first piece of music revealed, the instrumental version that goes well with everything.

10) This Is Who You Are

They didn’t need to go so hard for something as simple as the character customization theme. But they did. And I’m so glad.

There’s a certain cleverness into mixing a boppy square wave to the simple orchestral background, as not only the Avatar is mainly associated with synths but it also somewhat alleviates the serious mood, which is perfect for our rookie. The fluttering piano is gorgeous, and I have to mention that swelling climax. You really feel like you’re building up a hero from scratch.

9) This Is Our World (Eggman, War, Resistance)

What a cool title for a world map.

I put them all together because they’re very similar to each other, but the three different versions are great at setting up different moods with little tweaks. The first version has steady, powerful drums that remind of Eggman’s machinery and factories, but the overall tone is of a great war incoming. The second one cranks up the intensity and the mechanical noises, fitting for the definitive showdown between the Eggman Empire and the Resistance. And the final one is pure triumph and peace.

8) Eggman Empire Fortress: Final Judgement

... or is it Last Judgement? The OST isn’t quite clear. But in any case, this track is both intense and energetic, fitting for the very last stage, and somewhat melancholic. Amy does feel sorry for Infinite for being allegedly created here, but without context it actually makes me think of an imminent heroic sacrifice necessary to save the world. It definitely spells out “last stand”.

7) Boss: Zavok (Battle with Death Queen)

I’ll never understand why they named the track after the robotic wasp. Anyway, Zavok’s theme in Sonic Lost World wasn’t anything special, a menacing orchestral remix of the Deadly Six leitmotif (although it barely sounds like it). But the Zavok replica gets a sick dubstep strings remix! Twice as fast, with the intense violins getting drowned by the arhythmic, glitchy dubstep noises, it does a perfect job to pump you blood. To fight... the Death Queen, apparently. (rip zavok nobody loves him)

(I also have to point out that this is one of the only two major tracks Kenichi Tokoi had an hand in, the other being the Metal Sonic boss theme. I wish he did much more because boy he was on fire!)

6) Death Egg: Egg Gate

I learned to play this on my keyboard purely because I love it so much! It’s so badass! It could fit with Flash In The Dark or other Wily themes! Too bad it’s so short, but I feel it’s more complex than others, so it compensates. Not gonna lie, this theme coupled with the gorgeous background of the base in space made my jaw drop like few things in the series yet.

While here the saw wave actually fits, I would’ve died of happiness if it was played on an electric guitar. Bring me all the rock covers <3

5) Eggman Empire Fortress: Mortar Canyon

I can already tell this will be the most underrated track in the OST. It’s a shame it plays in the shortest level in the game, because it ends just as the music gets to the truly awesome part - and I don’t mean “awesome” in its more common sense, I truly mean “awe-inspiring”.

It starts out with the saw wave (which here would’ve also fit nicely), but slowly it fades in the background, the lead being replaced by a piano, then a choir, then strings, to create something that feels bigger than Sonic and the player. There’s a sense of despair, with only the slightest twinge of quiet, detemined hope. You’re so close to save the world from total destruction.

Chilling. One of the best “final level” themes in the series. Take the time to listen to it with headphones to enjoy all the tiny details, you won’t regret it.

4) Infinite

And after the remixes we get to the original version. This is, by far, my favorite character theme of the series, if only because it fits Infinite so well.

It manages to be ironically edgy, both with the overuse of HEAVY METAL RUMBLING GUITARS and lyrics such as I AM THE SHARPEST OF BLADES I’LL CUT YOU DOWN IN A SECOND... and yet it’s also unironically cool, especially if you grew up with this kind of music. The lyrics were also incredibly fun to analyze, even though at the end of it the meaning was just “I’m the best and y’all suck”, which perfectly reflects Infinite trying to appear more powerful and menacing than he actually was. 

Also, like I already mentioned, metal and dubstep go so well together.

When everything you know has come and gone... only scars remain through it all...

3) Boss: Mega Death Egg Robot Phase 2

Pure despair. You really feel like you’re facing something much bigger and more powerful than you are. It only needs a choir, some strings and a flute to achieve all of this - its semplicity it’s what makes it so effective.

It also seems it takes some inspiration from Egg Nega Wisp Phase 1, which I can be only happy about.

2) Boss: Mega Death Egg Robot Phase 3

Let’s get that one flaw out of the way: the loop is too short. But everything in the loop is spectacular.

It’s in the same style as Dr. Eggman Showdown, and while it’s not quite at the same level, it is pretty close, and I do prefer this guitar solo.

What truly makes this track great, however, is the buildup. It starts with a light, high choir that feels hopeless... then the drums kick in... then the guitars... and finally it explodes in a wonderful, triumpant mix of orchestra and rock. Eggman is on his last rope, you’ve already won. And when you defeat the final boss, it ends abruptly with the same choir of the beginning, in a satisfying book end.

And don’t miss that Fist Bump riff! I know some people would’ve preferred a full remix of the main theme, but I actually like this approach.

1) The Light of Hope

All that I see now, it’s not the same...

All you remember, has gone away...

But you’re still standing here...

The first stanza alone made me tear up, and I didn’t stop until the end. What a gorgeous song.

This song alone made me feel proud and accomplished... after watching a stream and being severely disappointed in what I had seen in the last hour. This one song almost fixed everything. And the new title screen, with the instrumental version in the background and the flower in the shining Resistance quarters... touching. It reminds me so much of Wiosna from Katawa Shoujo, a track I hold dear.

Kudos to Amy Hannam and her lovely voice - this song is much harder than it sounds, and she nailes every single note.