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#I just chugged half a bottle of 100 plus typing this out
tango-of-webs · 7 months
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Am I weird for thinking that Dave's cum probably tastes like battery acid
first of all, yes, yes you are. what the fuck.
second of all, that's the weirdest ask I got so far, so thank tumblr for making me want to bleach my eyes blond
third of all, how would that even be possible
last but not least, why would you send this. just, why.
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kiegosbby · 4 years
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hawks x f!reader
chapter 8 I think. I’m sorry guys itll get better I promiseeee
word count: 1.6k
warnings: drinking, and just making poor decisions
✁- - - - - - r- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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when you finished your work you left quickly trying to avoid talking to him any further.
You stopped at a liquor store. This wasn't your best idea. But In the moment, you needed it badly.
you never really drank before, not knowing what to buy so you bought vodka. People drink that straight right?
she bought her bottle and put it in a paper bag, having to keep her hero appearance.
she flew home and sat down on her couch. She popped the cap off and chugged it. It burned as it went down. She thought it would be worse it tasted like medicine. Kind of.
She looked across the room and saw her phone. She was now slightly tipsy, she stood up and walked over to her phone. Picking it up it was slightly cracked but it still worked. You turned it on and while you waited, chugged some more because why the hell not?
as your phone turned on you saw all the messages hawks had left you.
10+ plus new messages from: Birdy ❤️🐔
"Tch.."
Birdy ❤️🐔
Hey baby bird I'm sorry about last night I probably seem like a dick.
Birdy ❤️🐔
I had to help endeavour on a case and I couldn't say no. Please let me make it up to you
Birdy ❤️🐔
I still owe you ice cream even if you don't wanna go out anymore
Birdy ❤️🐔
Don't forget that you have to come to my agency tomorrow and fill out some paperwork and set your office up
Birdy ❤️🐔
Angel where are you? Your 10 minutes late
Birdy ❤️🐔
Angel I'm starting to worry it's been a hour. Please just let me know that your ok
Birdy ❤️🐔
Y/n please text me. Im worried and I swear if anything happened to you I'll kill someone
Birdy ❤️🐔
Don't make me go to your apartment. I will don't test me.
Birdy ❤️🐔
angel please reply
Birdy ❤️🐔
Angel? Please..
Birdy ❤️🐔
I'm about to go to your apartment. I don't know which numbers yours but I'll go through the whole building if I have to.
well now you felt like a bitch.
It was still mean for him to do that to her. But maybe she should forgive him. he apologized and he seemed like he actually cared.
You decided to call him and talk to him. Maybe apologize? Ask him what his favourite drink is. Alcohol is good you should do this more often.
you pressed the call button and took a big swig of your drink getting ready to talk.
"Angel hello?"
"Hey hawks" you slurred your words slightly. "I wanted to call you because it's so difficult to type! The buttons are so little and I keep messing up. Now I know what your thinking, she's drunk right? Well no actually I'm just a little tipsy. Oh! I forgot to say what I was calling about. I wanted to apologize, I was being a total bitch don't you think?" You took a quick swig and went back to talking "but you were kinda mean to me. But I liked you! I even bought a fucking dress for you. And I don't do dresses. Believe that? I got all dressed up for you. And you never showed. But hero duties are more important than anything" you took another swig "damn this shit is strong!"
He sat there trying to take in everything she had just said. To be fair it was a lot to handle. " Y/n your drunk why are you drinking?"
"Because why the hell not?" She said and laughed
"You want to apologize I want to apologize to face to face."
"Come over them Birdy I need some company I can't finish this big bottle all by myself." At this point you really couldn't think straight. This was 100% a bad idea but did you care? Absolutely not.
"Y/n your drunk we should talk tomo-"
"No come over nowwww pleaseeeeeeee" you whined
he sighed "Ok leave the balcony open I'll land there."
"Yay! I'll be waiting for you im so excited!"
You quickly hung up and went to wait for him on the balcony. You sat with your legs crossed and kept drinking. You got up and looked over the ledge. Damn that was a farrr drop. You stumbled a little leaning a little to far, and almost fell until you felt a warm pair of hands wrap around your waist. "Are you fucking crazy kid? Do you have a death wish?"
You started laughing "oh my god I almost fell good thing I have wings. You saved me! Your like my knight in shining armor" you smiled and went to take another swig only to have him take it away from you.
He looked at the bottle. "You drank almost half of this already! Are you crazy? Oh my god come on" he lead you inside trying to figure the layout of your house. He went into your kitchen and got you a water bottle from your fridge.
"Here drink this your gonna need it. Let's go sit down ok?" He lead you to the couch, you almost fell a couple times but with his help you made it.
"Hawksssss"
"Yes angel" he looked over to you, you were both now sitting on the couch, and he was trying to make sure you did nothing stupid.
"Thank you for coming I was sooo lonely. And I'm sorry for this morning I was being a big poopy head" you said and at the end you stuck your bottom lip out and gave him puppy eyes.
"It's no problem angel. I would always help a friend in need more matter what. And you don't have to apologize it was mostly my fault I was being a dumb bird and messed it up." He said looking at you with guilt. You felt bad honestly. But what stuck the most was when he said he would always help a friend..
"I wish we were more then friends I really liek you.." you slurred and went on "your really cute to. And your wings are so pretty I just wanna touch them. Can I touch them?" You asked already reaching out to them
"Of course baby bird just be careful you have wings to so you'll know how it feels." He pulled his wings further out so that you could reach them easily. He was a little scared only a few other people had touched his wings. And they had never been drunk before. His wings were quite sensitive, he was touch starved and that made it feel amazing when someone touched his wings.
You leaned in and touched the middle of his wings first, slowly running your hand over them. You face lit up like a kid opening his presents on Christmas. You raked your hands through his feathers.
"Your feathers are so soft! How do you get them so soft!?" You asked excitedly. Your feathers weren't as soft as his, they'd been through a lot and due to some harsh training were trying to recover still.
"There just n-naturally soft I guess are yours not t-this soft?" He asked as he was trying to keep back his groans. Your fingers felt so good rubbing against his feathers.
"They were but after bad training there not as soft anymore. Want to feel?" She asked excitedly, taking her hands away. He tried to hide his disappointment, and shook his head yes.
she pulled her wings out, giving off a soft glow as her quirk made her. He reached out to his hands. He softly touched the tip of her wings. She sat back and relaxed feeling calm at the touches he was giving her. It was way better then the little kids that tugged on her wings when she had them out.
"What kind of training did this? There still soft just seem like they've been through a lot.."
"Well it was a really rainy day. And they were working me so hard. We were in a empty field and I was paired with one of the higher ranks, so I had to try my hardest. They thought I was weak so they pushed me a little to far, until my wings were covered with mud and all the nasty shit on the ground."
He had a apologetic look on his face as he continued to stroke your wings. "Who's they?"
"I-oh I don't really tell many people but when my parents had found out I had wings, they had to report it to the government, who wanted to put me in intense training from when I was just 4. I knew how to kill someone before I knew how to write my own name correctly. I've heard you went through the same if I'm correct?" Y/n was almost surprisingly sober now.
"Yeah it's not something I like to talk about. I'm sorry they put you through that. Me and you are more alike then we seem arnt we?" He asked while taking his hand away from your wings.
you internally sighed in disappointment when he took his hand away. "I guess we might be. C-can we watch a movie or something?" She asked hoping he would stay just a little longer.
"Only if I can still take you to get ice cream soon?" He asked testing the waters to see if she was still mad.
"Of course you bird brain." She grabbed the remote and turned on  {favourite movie}.
"Oh I love this movie!" He said with excitement as he got comfortable next to you.
You smiled looking at him. You were no longer mad but thought if this went on would that happen again? Would he handle it differently? As the thoughts were running through your mind, you felt the heaviness of sleep washing over you. You closed your eyes and let it involve you.
Hawks POV
I turned to check on y/n, and as I turned she was just falling asleep. Her head slowly made its way into my shoulder. I blushed slightly. Y/n was beautiful. Even with her hair a mess she was still pretty to him.
As he was admiring her, she moved in her sleep, grabbing his arm and hugging it as she slept.
'God she's perfect'
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flauntpage · 7 years
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Old School Hockey – Five Takeaways from Flyers 4, Oilers 2
There was something a little bit different about the Flyers last night as they won consecutive games for only the second time all season.
They continued the notion of secondary scoring being key, as they got four more goals from guys not named Claude Giroux, Sean Couturier and Jake Voracek – a trio that had scored 45.7% of the teams’ goals prior to the last two games.
Well, the rest of the team has now scored nine straight goals for the Flyers – all of them by forwards no less – and unsurprisingly, the Flyers have won two straight.
But that’s not what was different specific to last night. Dave Hakstol finally broke up his top line in Calgary and kept it that way in Edmonton. And yes, it helps spread the offense around, as we’ve been talking about on this blog for about a month.
But that’s not it.
Brian Elliott played another strong game in net for the Flyers – something that has become almost expected. After a slow start in his first half-dozen games, Elliott has been the guy keeping the Flyers in games on most nights with his workman-like approach to goaltending – not flashy, just getting the job done.
But it wasn’t Elliott either.
Nope. It was the Flyers trying to play like the New Jersey Devils, circa 1995.
It was a flashback to a bygone era in the NHL. An era where boring, stifling hockey would put you to sleep on a nightly basis. But, those Devils would beat you with their style that everyone else in the league hated – except them.
The Flyers were at it last night.
One game after beating Calgary but allowing the Flames to take a whopping 80 shot attempts, the Flyers decided to hunker down defensively and really try to frustrate the Edmonton Oilers and their supposedly high-flying offense.
The Oilers only attempted 51 shots. Only 26 actually got on goal. After some of the save performances Elliott’s had to put in recently, he had to feel like this game was merely a part-time shift.
And the Oilers were greatly limited as compared to the Flames because the Flyers decided to change their system a bit last night and bottle up the neutral zone. It made for a much more even game, puck possession-wise, and the Flyers were opportunistic, scoring on their best chances. It was an old-fashioned hockey formula that caught the Oilers by surprise and worked for the Flyers for one game.
Can it work long-term? Maybe. However, it requires a lot of patience and commitment to the defensive game as well as a more conservative approach – things that don’t normally seem attractive as options to today’s younger players.
But if Hakstol is smart, he’ll see if he can get the players to buy into it for a little while anyway to see if it instills confidence in a team who, despite winning two straight games, is still a fragile group when things go awry.
To the takeaways:
1. Rooting your offense in opportunism
This might be the hardest thing about a defensive game plan. Offensive players want to skate. They want to create. They want to do something fun and dazzling.
But, when you ask them to worry about their defensive responsibilities first and foremost ahead of their offensive chances, it could lead to frustration. Guys who want to “go go go” are being muted. Defensemen who are keen to jump up on the rush or pinch in along the wall to create offense must show the self control not to do that.
Instead, you have to be content to punt. There’s no Doug Pederson fourth down bravado in this type of hockey.
Nope, instead you just dump it in deep, let the other team go chase it, and then set your defense and force them to weave their way 200 feet through five players in defensive posture.
It’s not pretty to look at. It makes hockey slower, more muddled. It becomes more like tug of war – or soccer (sorry soccer fans).
But it’s effective. Maddeningly so, but effective.
And it was quite effective last night, especially against Connor McDavid.
McDavid did have an assist; it came shorthanded after he stripped Couturier and created a 2-on-1 that led to a goal by Leon Draisaitl. But at 5-on-5, McDavid was only on the ice for five shots on goal.
That’s five shots on goal by all the players on the ice with and including him.
That’s a fine defensive effort by the Flyers.
There were some people on Twitter last night perplexed as to why the Flyers would award the Ric Flair “Woooo” robe to Andrew MacDonald after this game.
How they played against McDavid is all you need to know.
McDonald wasn’t alone. Ivan Provorov was amazing defensively as well, playing at the same time as MacDonald. However, MacDonald is often the guy who is tasked with taking a man-to-man approach against a star player on the other team, and as such, he was considered the MVP of the game by the guys in his own locker room.
Fans don’t see it that way sometimes, but it is the reality.
That said, I don’t think last night’s successful shutdown of McDavid and his line was all MacDonald’s doing. Nor was it Provorov as well. No, it was the whole five-man unit.
Whichever line was out there against him – while Edmonton, with the last line change, would often try and get McDavid out against Filppula’s line, Hakstol often countered a McDavid shift by changing lines and going with Couturier’s line with Giroux and Wayne Simmonds – did a fine job of being responsible for their coverages to take away Edmonton’s best offensive option.
The Flyers remained committed to this style for the entire 60 minutes, and it worked. It was probably the best overall team effort since shutting out the Blues in St. Louis on Nov. 2.
And when you play this way, you also have to take advantage of the limited chances you are going to get as well and the Flyers did that by converting a power play, creating two scoring chances off turnovers and getting an empty-netter.
It’s how you win. And they did.
2. Captain Fantastic
None of this would have happened without a really fine game by Giroux. As mentioned earlier, his line was out there most of the time against McDavid – especially when the Flyers were changing lines on the fly – getting Giroux and Couturier on the ice for 15 of McDavid’s 23 shifts.
But Giroux was also responsible for creating the opportunistic chances we were talking about.
The first was on the power play when Jordan Weal replaced Simmonds on the first sequence and this happened:
Tic-tac-toe and a Weal goal! http://pic.twitter.com/bfOGjJdV1S
— Sons of Penn (@SonsofPenn) December 7, 2017
This is a set play. Giroux with a slap pass to Couturier who catches it and feeds Weal in front. Kudos to Weal for being in position. Normally that’s where Simmonds would be, but Simmonds had a skate issue, so Weal hopped in.
Credit to Giroux for going with this play, assuming the woeful Edmonton penalty kill (and it is woeful, as it’s the worst in the NHL – killing just 56% at home!) wouldn’t think that with a little guy like Weal the Flyers would look to get him the puck in the blue paint. But they did.
Later, Giroux found another guy he doesn’t normally play with:
Claude Giroux gets the loose puck and gives it to Dale Weise on a line change. His shot makes it 2-1! http://pic.twitter.com/u2Cxdplj9U
— Sons of Penn (@SonsofPenn) December 7, 2017
Yep. Dale Weise scored everyone. That’s a chug the entire beer in your hand… and open a second and do the same in the Flyers drinking game.
But, all kidding aside, there are three things to notice about this play.
First, Giroux out-skating two Edmonton defensemen to a loose puck – and he had a long way to go to get there.
Secondly, having the wherewithal to notice Weise coming off the bench on a line change to get him a pass in good scoring position.
The third thing to notice, and it didn’t have any impact on the play but was definitely something to keep an eye on in the future, Voracek was streaking down the wing uncovered. I don’t think Weise even saw him, because if he did, making the pass to Jake had to be a higher percentage play than shooting five hole from where he did, but the mere vision of Voracek busting it on the wing was all you need to know. The Flyers were 100% all-in last night.
3. Raffl still motoring
Ever since waking up from hibernation a couple weeks ago, Michael Raffl has been a real option for the Flyers.
He is strong on the puck and has a good shot. Hthe kidse just needs to play with a playmaker, and now that he’s playing with Voracek, he might be finding that 20-goal touch he had a few seasons ago.
Here was his latest goal, his fourth in the last seven games, courtesy of a pass from Jake:
Jake Voracek sends Michael Raffl on the breakaway and he scores! 3-1! http://pic.twitter.com/EehtvCGuxR
— Sons of Penn (@SonsofPenn) December 7, 2017
Raffl doesn’t need to suddenly turn into a regular goal scorer. But if he can give the Flyers 15 more goals over the final 50-plus games, that would be a huge boost to the lineup.
4. The kids are alright
Brandon Manning is out of the lineup for about a month with an upper body injury. Radko Gudas can’t play again until Tuesday. So, the defensive corps is going to be really young again.
Sam Morin is hurt, so he can’t be recalled. So for now it’s Mark Alt again. (More on the call-ups in No. 5 below).
This is exactly what Hextall was lamenting about during his impromptu press conference after losing for the eighth straight game at Wells Fargo Center last week – in his mind, it’s not a good idea to trot out such a young defensive corps – because it’s not good for their development.
That’s a cockeyed view point in today’s NHL.
Look around. How old is that Columbus defense?
Yeah, they have two veterans in Jack Johnson and David Savard, but they are rolling out four defenseman under the age of 24 in Ryan Murray, Seth Jones, Zach Werenski and Scott Harrington – and they’re only one point out of first place in the Metropolitan Division.
How about Carolina?
Yeah, they’re in a similar boat as the Flyers near the bottom of the Metro, and yet you don’t hear their GM Ron Francis bitching about how young they are:
Trevor van Riemsdyk – 26
Justin Faulk – 25
Jaccob Slavin – 23
Brett Pesce – 23
Haydin Fleury – 21
Noah Hanifin – 21
As a matter of fact, that’s their future. The Hurricanes’ young D corps could be one of the best in the NHL in a few years. The difference is, they’re playing now. Every day.
Last night, aside from MacDonald, the Flyers trotted out a very young defensive group – and they played really well against a team that, albeit is struggling, was many experts pick to go to the Stanley Cup Final from the West this season because of their high-powered offense.
And yet, the Flyers defense did just fine against them.
I feel like a member of the crowd at the Astrodome in “The Bad News Bears in Breaking Training:”
Or maybe a better comparison is the South Park Cows taking on the Detroit Red Wings:
Yeah… that’s more like it.
  5. Loose Pucks
Manning’s injury will keep him out for awhile, but Gudas will be back after sitting out the final game of his suspension tonight in Vancouver. Alt probably will stay in the lineup, but the Flyers did recall local kid T.J. Brennan as the extra defenseman. Brennan grew up in Moorestown, N.J. and has always dreamed about playing for the Flyers. He probably won’t get the chance this time around (he has played in the NHL already with Ottawa), but if there’s another injury on the blue line, he’s next in line until Morin recovers from his injury.
Leave it to Michal Neuvirth to get injured while not even playing. His injury, the lower-body variety, likely occured in practice. So, the Flyers called up Alex Lyon to backup Elliott. There isn’t a snowball’s chance in hell Lyon plays tonight in Vancouver, even though it’s a back-to-back for the Flyers. Elliott will go again. Good thing he had some light work against Edmonton.
If anyone is going to be affected negatively from a production standpoint by the line jumbling, look for it to be Couturier, who was on a torrid pace before Hakstol finally broke up his top line. Couturier will still get points, playing with Giroux will allow that, and he’ll till score some on the power play, but I expect his goal-scoring pace, which was for more than 40 goals, will slow down some until Voracek is reunited with that line, if ever.
      Old School Hockey – Five Takeaways from Flyers 4, Oilers 2 published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv
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andy-abroad · 7 years
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Luxor_01
June.09.2017 Hello hello-- I am in Luxor! Still in Egypt, but a few hundred miles south, and that makes all the difference. This morning, I got up and did one last sweep of my things to make sure I didn't leave anything behind. It was early, so I took my time to really look. When it was around 8, I went to the lobby to ask about my cab. The guy working the desk made a joke about not having called one, and I kinda freaked out for a second in my mind, but he was just joking. The cab driver was actually already there, having a cup of tea. When he finished his tea, we got in his car and went to the airport. It took a lot shorter than getting to the hostel, so I was at the airport for a lot longer than expected. I checked in, went through security, and found my gate. I had about two hours so I wrote a post card, read my book, watched some things on my phone, and just relaxed. Egypt has been really tiring so far. The sun, the culture difference, the people. It's exhausting being so suspicious of everyone! It's my least favorite part about travel is believing everyone is out to rip you off or be bad. Unfortunately, this is oftentimes the case in Egypt. Anyways, my flight started to board and so we got onto a bus, got onto the plane, and I quickly fell asleep. I woke up as we were starting to descend, which didn't take very long, as the flight time was only about an hour! Upon landing in Luxor, the feeling was very different. I was in the domestic terminal, and my least favorite part of the journey was coming up. I had to catch a cab. After some haggling, I got into a cab for about 150 Egyptian pounds. Again, only about 8 USD, but still probably twice what I could have paid. Annoying. I got dropped off at my hostel which is much nicer than the one I was at in Cairo. I booked my own room, and although it doesn't have ac and only has a fan, I felt like being alone for a bit was better (I was right... but we'll see how easy it is to fall asleep in this heat). I put my things away and then made my way out to the temple down the street. I knew I needed water, an ATM, and maybe a sketch or two. In the end I only accomplished one of those things. While walking, I found a pharmacy and decided to buy toothpaste and sunblock for tomorrow. I could already feel myself burning under the intense Egyptian sun. It was around 115 degrees! I needed to get cash so I was walking towards a machine when a man from the hostel approached me. I never learn my lesson. He offered to show me where the ATM was, so I said okay. He the kept asking if I wanted to do this or that to which I said no. He kept saying he was a Christian and an honest man, and surprise, he isn't honest. He took me to some kind of pharmacy other than the one I wanted to go to. He bought my toothpaste for me for some reason, and it wasn't the one I wanted. I was suspicious and annoyed and tired. Then, I somehow wound up on his boat. He said 250 Egyptian pounds for an hour. I thought what the heck. It was too hot to sketch and I wanted to be on the water for a little bit. I got on. It was... okay. I was kind of uncomfortable with the situation so I felt strange. He took my phone from me and I posed for some photos. I said I wanted to get off after about 15 minutes because he kept wanting to take me to an island quite far away. We got off the boat and he said I could pay him. He asked for 450, and I said 250, and he said I was confused. I called him a liar and a thief. I gave him the 250 and asked him to leave me alone. He asked for more, for his children and I just shook my arms at him. The worst part is that he cooks for the hostel and now I am suspicious of the hostel itself. I am very ready to leave these type of people behind in Egypt. I understand it's because times are tough since tourism is so scarce in the summer, but I also don't care. After I left, I went back to the pharmacy, got my sun block, for which they tried to short change me. It cost 30 pounds and I paid with 100. They gave me 60. I told them they owe me 70 and they were confused but then they gave me another 10. I feel bad because that's only 55 cents for me, but it's the principle. I would up getting more cash because the boat ride cost so much, and headed back towards the hostel. I was in desperate need of water. All of the shops were closed because of Ramadan and I was getting harassed by all of these people so I hid in a McDonald's. I got 4 smaller bottles of water and a Fanta for 50 pounds, whereas in the shops I can buy 1.5L of water for 5 pounds. I was desperate and didn't care. I chugged the water, put what I had left in my bag, and basically sprinted to the hostel. I went in my room, shut the door and just relaxed by laying still. The bed and the walls were so hot from absorbing the heat all day. It's unreal. Soon the heat made me sleepy and I took a nap. I knew I was going to go out and explore later at night, so I wanted to rest up and stay out of the heat before. After sunset prayer was heard, I ventured out again. I went to the Luxor temple down the street, and then caught a cab to the Karnak temple for the sound and light show. I actually read some bad reviews about it, but it is an experience, so I figured I would do it anyhow. Plus it's a full moon so what lucky luck! I found a cab and took it to the temple. He said he would be waiting for me after it ended. I felt kind of weird about it since I figured there would be other cabs, but I'm glad he waited as there were none after. I tipped him a lot the first ride there so I didn't feel obligated to tip the second. I was about a half hour early so I walked around the complex before the entrance. Soon there was a tourist group from Europe! Poland, the Netherlands, and Germany. They all spoke English and were very kind. The show in and of itself was not my style. I wish that all the lights had been on and we could have just walked around. It was very touristy, but still so beautiful and somewhat entertaining! A way better alternative than to just sitting in the hostel. We walked through the temple. It was mysterious and large and beautiful and spooky. It was still very warm and windy, which made it more dramatic. The tour ended with a sort of projected video. I was very bored during this portion as it wasn't well done, and would have preferred more time in the temple! After it was done, I got in the cab, went to the McDonald's for dinner, got a lot of food (for breakfast tomorrow since nothing is open), got 4.5L of water, and headed back to the hostel. I paid for my room, confirmed my taxi to the airport at 4am on the 11th, went up to my room, closed the door, ate dinner, caught up with people, showered, and now I'm here. My all day tour tomorrow that I paid a lot of USD through Expedia starts at 7, so I will have to wake up very early! I am off to try and get some sleep, and will look forward to a day of exploring, minus all the heat. I don't think I will sketch. I don't think I have it in me! I also will refuse to go to any stores or things like that my guide may want to take me to. I am overwhelmingly disinterested now in dealing with these people. Also... good news! Thanks to my support team at home and all the prayers, my Indian visa was approved. I got an email about it today. I guess it takes at maximum 4 days, and mine didn't take the maximum. I will no longer have to spend 24 hours in customs. Phew! So on that note, goodnight! Until whenever --
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