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vivithefolle · 4 years

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I was always confused by Hermiones behavior towards Ron in OOTP. Was she trying to hide her feelings? because she didn't really gave him any signs. Why she was so nasty at him with the teaspoon thing. Was she trying to make him jealous with the letters? What did or didn't she understand from Ron giving her the perfume. Is all this just JKR being stupid because she don't want them together before the very end. Sry for all these questions but I am rly confused can you plz help Vivi?

Once again, I’ll copy one of my Quora essays!

it’s a stereotype to say that girls resort to underhanded tactics when it comes to dating, or like to “test” their partner’s love… but it’s a stereotype for a reason: there are teenage girls who resort to those tactics.

The archetype of the Tsundere exists as an exaggeration of the traits some teenage girls demonstrate when they find themselves in a position of vulnerability such as “having a crush on someone”.

For someone as prideful as Hermione is, having a crush on someone is extremely threatening.

Hermione prides herself in her logic and intelligence. The validation she receives from getting good grades is something she needs, because she’s very insecure deep down. She thinks all she has to offer is her intelligence, and as she goes from a little girl to a young woman, this causes her grief because she doesn’t want to be just “intelligent”. As her body develops and changes, she finds that being the smartest one in the room isn’t enough anymore - she still loves being the smartest in the room, but she wants more than just that, she wants validation for other things. That’s why she was extremely hurt when Ron tactlessly (and Rowling-ly) remarks “you’re a girl” - she wants to be seen as a girl, as a woman, as more than a walking brain. She wants validation that she is a girl, and beautiful, and sexy, and capable of making heads spin. She needs “sexual” validation, for lack of a better term.

Of course she doesn’t really realize those feelings. All she knows is that it hurts when Ron seems to consider her “one of the guys”, or looks at girls that aren’t her. She likes it when he compliments her, but she’s also angry at him because he only ever seems to compliment her intelligence and damn it, she wants him to compliment something else! She wants him to look at her, REALLY look at her! Look at her like he looks at the pretty girls!

Little does she know that Ron does look at her, but he probably thinks he’s a pervert for doing so. Because - because she’s Hermione! She’s not like other girls, she’s not - she’s not the kind of girl you ogle! She’s the kind of girl you gift flowers to - roses, they’re her favourite - the kind of girl you have long, meaningful talks with - not sure if they’re always meaningful, but they sure talk a lot together! - she’s the kind of girl you… the kind of girl you love, not the kind of girl you just look at…

*wistful sigh* Mutual pining, mutual admiration, slow burn, +100k words…

But truth is, many people go around saying that Hermione treating Ron harshly and treating pretty much every boy (with exceptions like Draco Malfoy) more gently is because she actually doesn’t like Ron, and likes anyone but Ron.

When the truth actually is that… Hermione is awful. No, no, seriously, when Hermione is in love, she’s terrible. She can be a nice friend but when she’s in love with you she’s horrible. Especially since she’s a teenager.

Hermione is a prime example of a Tsundere.

The cute, blushy, giggling Hermione who flirts with [insert character here] and cries delicately when she’s rejected? Pure fanfiction. Canon Hermione keeps her love aggressively hidden behind countless iron walls, only letting it peek through when she’s absolutely sure the person she likes isn’t looking.

“How was practice?” asked Hermione rather coolly half an hour later, as Harry and Ron climbed through the portrait hole into the Gryffindor common room. “It was -” Harry began. “Completely lousy,” said Ron in a hollow voice, sinking into a chair beside Hermione. She looked up at Ron and her frostiness seemed to melt. - Order of the Phoenix

Rare footage of the Hermione Granger, scientific name Selfinsertus Overratedus, displaying interest in specimen of mighty fine hunk

Hermione isn’t sweet and tender and kind with the one she loves. At least, the teenage Hermione isn’t. She’s harsh, she’s disdainful and only gives out breadcrumbs of affection once in a while as part of the complicated mind game she’s playing.

You see, Hermione is never going to make the first move. You must be the one to ask her out, because she sure as hell ain’t going to do it for you.

This is due, I think, to the events of Goblet of Fire. Viktor Krum asks her out because Rowling absolutely wants Hermione to be the ugly duckling who transforms into the beautiful swan, so she brings in Cardboard Cutout With No Personality Aside From Being Famous to woo her self-insert.

Now Hermione has gotten the experience of being asked out, and being a rather socially awkward person who also hates being vulnerable - more on that later - well, now she just assumes that if someone asked her out once, then anyone who does like her can do the same.

Which is why she doesn’t realize that Ron is actually aware he loves her. There’s a big comedy of assumptions going on in Romione’s love story.

Hermione believes that Ron either 1) likes her but is oblivious to his own feelings and so she thinks she has to “give him hints” to make him realize it. Emphasized best by this exchange:

Hermione laughed. “Harry you’re worse than Ron [at understanding girls]… well, no, you’re not, “ she sighed, as Ron himself came stumping into the Hall splattered with mud and looking grumpy.

“I’ve sent him so many signals and yet he doesn’t notice. Woe is me!”

2) doesn’t actually likes her, but sees her just as a good mate or worse, as another sister.

Hermione keeps flip-flopping between her two assumptions throughout the series, all because of her biggest assumption: she thinks that if Ron was interested in her, he would ask her out. Because Viktor Krum was interested in her, and he asked her out, so why wouldn’t Ron do the same? They’re both boys and she’s a girl, after all. Isn’t that how it works?

This is also why Hermione’s “““invitation”““ to the Slug Club isn’t even an invitation - really, it’s worse than Ron’s invite to the Yule Ball, at least he was actually offering her to come:

“We’re allowed to bring guests,” said Hermione, […], “and I was going to ask you to come, but […] I won’t bother.”

“I was going to ask you to come but I won’t bother.”

This is literally what she says. It’s more of a “look Ron! An invite! If you’re good maybe I’ll think about letting you have it!” than anything else.

It’s because this is Hermione’s last resort. The ultimate humiliation. She has to resort to inviting Ron when in her mind, he’s supposed to be the one asking her out. He’s the boy! He’s supposed to do it! (And this is why I laugh at all the fools who claim that Hermione is the pinnacle of feminism. Seriously, the girl is more of a misogynist than any other character in the series.)

Hermione failed to take into account that Ron’s insecurity cripples him worse than she imagines, and that he copes with it differently than she copes with her own insecurities.

And this is the part where I explain about Hermione’s hatred of being vulnerable.

You see, I can relate quite a lot to Hermione - I see a lot of me in her, and a lot of people who hurt me in the past as well.

Bullied because she was an easy target, being the know-it-all and local teacher’s pet? Yep. Bullied for her appearance (I got braces when I was 8 and have been wearing glasses since I was a toddler, she had her bushy hair and buck teeth)? Can relate. Cried easily? Super check. Rule enforcer when the teachers weren’t around? Mega check.

And naturally, when you’re such a water fountain as I was, there’s nothing more humiliating than ending up crying in front of your bullies. You quickly learn that it will bring you nothing but more bullying. More humiliation. More vulnerability.

Hence why you start despising any form of vulnerability you find in yourself.

Obviously, being in love? That’s one of the most terrible things you can find yourself in when you’re afraid of being vulnerable. Because, oh god, your feelings are completely insane around the person. They make or ruin your day. You keep wanting to show them how cool / great / impressive you are, and you try desperately to mask all your little faults so they will hopefully return your feelings.

Given that Hermione is already not the most socially-aware battering ram in the knife drawer, she acts especially nasty to Ron, because she’s overcompensating for the vulnerability he makes her feel. And she most likely isn’t even aware of it! Forget Fanfic Hermione cringing as she realizes how mean she sounds, welcome Canon Hermione who just doubles down on a pointless argument just to drive home how totally in control she is and how Ron has absolutely zero effect on her, no siree!

In short: Hermione overthinks. She overthinks everything. She’s overthinking every of Ron’s actions, she’s assuming he’s either out to get her because she assumes he’s perfectly aware of her crush on him and he’s just toying with her (this is the very insecure, pessimistic Hermione speaking), she’s assuming he’s completely oblivious to her feelings and so she uses the ages-old technique of the “subtle hints” to make her feelings known to him (and fails miserably because she doesn’t want to put herself out there too much in case he rejects her, which would be the ultimate humiliation and the worst possible thing to happen to her, in her teenage girl mind), and she’s assuming he’ll never like her the way she likes him, all the while being woefully oblivious to the fact that Ron does want to be with her but she keeps sending him signals that she sees him as a troublesome child rather than a potential partner.

All in all, a teenage Hermione in love is utter torture. She’s her own worst enemy, and it’s only when she decides to let go of it all - of the mind games, of the distancing, of the passive-aggressive; of the overthinking - and just takes a chance that her efforts bear fruit.

There was a clatter as the basilisk fangs cascaded out of Hermione’s arms. Running at Ron, she flung them around his neck and kissed him full on the mouth. Ron threw away the fangs and broomstick he was holding and responded with such enthusiasm that he lifted Hermione off her feet.

(As much as I’m disillusioned with Romione, this kiss is still one of my favourite parts of the series. They mutually sweep each other off their feet for god’s sake, you wish your ship would.)

#vivi answers #ask #romione #hermione granger #ron weasley #ron weasley defense squad #ron weasley defence squad #hp fandom #hp meta #character analysis #hp analysis #romance #teenagers

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reginaofdoctorwho · 3 years

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ok so i started this as a draft days ago and barely remember where i was going with this idea but i tried to fill it out a little more. basically it’s just that anytime Curt says he misses being a spy he misses being a spy with Owen or the spy he was with Owen. so probably everything is what everyone knows already

Curt ties being a spy with Owen. completely, intrinsically, whatever, okay?? in Spy Again Curt says “Owen would want me to do this”, and lists

hop in a jet and fly again

grow a spine again

do my best not to cry again

wear a suit and tie again

drink martinis and drive again

get by again

feel like a real important guy again

as what he’s going to do as a spy. let’s check off what happens before Owen’s reveal (i’m trying to include some)

hop in a jet and fly again

grow a spine again

do my best not to cry again (i’m trying to be nice here he’s probably doing his best despite what happens)

wear a suit and tie again (literally part of the mission)

drink martinis and drive again (he’s sobering up)

get by again (barely my dude)

feel like a real important guy again

which, decent, but our dude is also having gay flashbacks, messing up a very simple and clear mission, and mistakes flirting for fighting (to quote my friend “Amelie” “he’s,,, so bad at pretending to be straight”) this all being with him having been one of the greatest spies, to the point of recognition years after he retired.

and post Owen’s reveal

hop in a jet and fly again (we’re going to count whatever that in

grow a spine again

do my best not to cry again

wear a suit and tie again (i mean he doesn’t need it??)

drink martinis and drive again (ok i don’t know maybe?? he does shots before and THEN chases Owen and then he’s drinking whiskey when he meets with Tatiana)

get by again

feel like a real important guy again (look at him at the end

more below the cut because this is already long and it’s going to be even longer

Okay, to be more in depth, (this’ll sound like a lot of my other posts) at the beginning Curt Mega is truly a great spy. yes, he was captured by Oleg, but the entire interaction with him Curt is still in control. he mocks Oleg, breaks his fingers, hits the bat back at him, all while holding a conversation (and flirting) with Owen. he’s confident the entire time, he’s willing to go against plans and is overconfident to a fault. While Cynthia is somewhat rude and pays more attention to Owen in the beginning (”finally someone who knows what the hell they’re doing!”) but i think she’d treat him the same as Curt if he ever did decide to work for her. it’s partially a “bring in new talent” and partially a “keep the old talent from being overconfident” thing. i don’t think it’s an actual mark on what pre-fall Curt was like as an agent. but either way, their record was six minutes to get out of a building presumably set to explode (or implode. fuck if i know) and they were still both confident and eager to lower the time even more. and they would have accomplished it, if not for Owen falling. what i’m saying is pre-canon Curt was a very effective agent, was good at his job, and was likely almost never out of his depth.

in Spy Again, he’s talking about becoming a spy again, but he links this to Owen, believing that being a spy again would enable him to work past Owen’s death (”but maybe this time’ll be different, it might be what I need”). he’s haunted by the “memories” not “memory”, which could be taken as any time he and Owen worked together, not just when he died. he wants to be a spy, but even stating that and the things he misses about being a spy (above lists) starts to remind him of Owen (”and i know just where i’m goin’, me and my partner Owen!”). he sees himself post-fall, with his beard, alcoholism, and trying and failing to improve (”i do what i can, try to make a plan, to be a better man, but nothing seems to stick”) and again relates it to Owen (”Owen please, if you could see what’s become of me, what would you think?”). Curt decides Owen would want him to be a spy again (”i once was a spy. i think you’d want me to spy again”) and repeats it to make it stick (”Owen would want me to do this”), and that is what truly starts him off again. or so it would seem.

in his first mission back, Curt can’t start again. he has to talk himself into doing his job again (”looks like that someone has to be me. you came here to do this, so do the job, stop acting like a little pussy”), and then mostly rides along on what Tatiana does anyway (”i second that motion!) a far cry from the beginning Curt who did his job eagerly. and we are again reminded that Curt was a great spy when Sergio recognizes Curt on sight and says “is that Agent Curt Mega? ... i can’t believe this, the most famous spy in the world busting my arms deal. hey, would you mind signing something...” followed by DMA immediately being able to disarm Curt with ease, showing the contrast. Curt does recognize the baked goods are the way to hurt Sergio, but also loses the bomb to Tatiana

Curt is, at this point, still waiting [in a way] for a partner. it is not implied in the beginning that he and Owen worked together every mission, rather the opposite in fact (“MI6 didn’t tell me you were on this mission”), but he still seems to almost expect a partner, and goes off what Tatiana says even though they’re not working together, and they both train their weapons on the baked goods.

Cynthia points out that he’s been on an early retirement for four years, which Curt is very quick to correct as a grieving period. his hands shake during Cynthia’s drill, he fumbles the gun, and he has none of the grace or style of the beginning. when Cynthia mentions Owen and Curt’s alcoholism (”i remember when i got the call that Owen died and you lived, i screamed into Susan’s neck for fifteen seconds, then i locked it up and moved on. you on the other hand, you drank yourself to rock bottom...”) Curt doesn’t even look at her. when she poisons him, he’s still able to repeat back (in essence) what she said, showing that the spy of the past is still there, deep down.

Eyes on the Prize II is the (i think) first time we see Gay Flashback-Owen. he is notably not slipping and dying, as would likely be going through Curt’s head if he were haunted by that specific memory alone (going back to the “haunted by any memory of Owen”) thing i mentioned, but is instead also saying “keep your eyes on the prize” with the ensemble, again lining up Owen with Curt’s idea of being a spy.

during the casino scene Curt is clumsy with his acting, and is trying to get information from Tatiana (it’s all very awkward. “make it a white russian, hold the vodka, please, thank you so much” “excellent choice. one vodka martini bone dry, and one glass of cream”), but as soon as another person joins it (Dick Big), the relationship between them turns from enemies trying to get information from the other to an uneasy team (”i’m hardly alone, the woman and i were just about to-”), with Curt even giving a russian toast, and although Tatiana definitely notices when Curt is given a gun by the dealer, she politely declines to mention it, and when Curt offers her his arm while Dick is off finding a waiter, she smiles. and while it could be argued that it is just them working undercover, this did feel more genuine than when they are alone and back in their assumed positions (”besides, without that horrible face fungus, what will i have to yank?” “we are talking about fighting, right?”) Tatiana also recognizes that Curt is alone in more ways than one, both without backup and without anyone he can trust fully. in the short time they’ve been together, they already are close enough to friends that Tati apologizes for bringing him to DMA

despite the two of them being on opposite sides during this encounter, they are already beginning to act as partners/friends, and Curt takes her betrayal more personally than he should have

i’d also like to take this moment to point out that DMA almost instinctively stabs the Nazi henchman for saying “seems his noggin’s a bit dense!” of Curt

during Torture Tango, it seems like he’s having a natural reaction to getting tortured. Curt is nervous, he’s afraid, he’s ready to die (”you sick bastard, why don’t you just kill me already?”/”i can’t deny that i’m gonna die”). but this is NOT how the torture scene at the beginning went, even before he knew Owen was there. at the beginning scene Curt is arrogant, throwing Oleg’s words back at him, breaking his fingers, keeping a cool tone and staying in control the whole time. this time he barely talks to the DMA, he doesn’t fight back, he just accepts it. also, he sings “i once was a spy but i won’t be a spy again” and “thought i could say goodbye, but i can’t lie i wanna be a spy again” despite the fact that he is a spy again. he says he wants to be a spy again, but he already is a spy again, what he’s missing is Owen. he was once a spy with a partner he loved and could trust completely, and the partner felt the same way about him. that is what i believe enabled him to be such a good spy, he had someone who knew everything about him, being gay included, and he was able to act more confidently as a result. what he misses is less of the “go get the girl and go save the world” and more seeing his partner even for short periods and having the confidence that comes from being known. also, curt is on the verge of death and is still thinking of Owen (”doesn’t even matter if i killed my best friend”)

back to Tatiana, who’s having her own crisis. “is Mega my enemy do i let him die? i’ve got to think about my family ‘cause no one’s looking out for me...” she, at this point, has not interacted with Curt beyond the arms deal, the casino, and betraying him to von Nazi and DMA. despite this she still sees him as a possible ally, and ultimately does decide to betray von Nazi and DMA for him (to his understandable confusion). when she unties him, he only calms down when she holds her arm out to him, but he becomes so distracted by it and Gay Flashback-Owen that he doesn’t notice DMA is waking up until he’s already been shot. i’d also like to point out that Gay Flashback-Owen is doing the same arm out pose Tatiana is doing while holding Curt’s arm

end of act 1. can i get a wahoo?

when Curt is with Barb, he acknowledges that he’s fucked things up, but still catches himself on saying he is a [great] spy again ”i was, i am, supposed to be the best”

i think during the gala he is trying to be the Curt from the past while ignoring why he was that way. he insists on going rogue, he confidently (and foolishly) announces that he is a spy, the prince will be assassinated, and that the Russians and Americans know, despite the fact that it doesn’t seem like a good idea if thought about at all. With blowing up the facility at the beginning there was some merit to it. they had been seen, they stole the plans and possibly wished to muddle why they were there, the facility might have had more plans they didn’t know about and they were already on a time limit. they also had a limit on the tech items they had (no rocket shoes :’( ).

when Tatiana rescues him again and takes him to his mother’s safe house, who mentions a “constant parade of drinking buddies, for poker or wrestling or whatever you boys do in the rumpus room” and while we could make an argument about Curt trying to move on after the fall, i think this youtube comment on the video is a fucking treasure and i will forever remember it.

i’d also like to point out now that Tatiana is truly the only character that i believe could “replace” Owen for Curt. he needs someone in his life who can know even the parts he hides from those closest to him, someone on equal footing with him, someone who doesn’t idolize him, and someone who works well with him. he can’t tell his mother, because she wants grandchildren, she wants a daughter-in-law, she wants to plan a wedding. it can’t be Cynthia, she’s his boss, it’s set during the Lavender Scare when he could lose his job for being gay. it can’t be Barb, who has an intense crush on him, and even when she does act in a platonic way, she is willing to risk her job based on the fact that it’s him (in an almost awestruck way). Tatiana is unimpressed with Curt when they first meet, they become friends quickly, work together to stop von Nazi and DMA, they are both spies at the top of the field, and she accepts him (”you’re cool with me?” “till the end!” “cool :)”). also, i think it’s interesting that Tatiana believes she is saving someone (her family) by leaving them behind, while Curt believed he killed someone (Owen his lover) by leaving them behind. just kinda parallels i think

before Doing This, Curt says he is is afraid that “[he’ll] never be the spy [he] once was” and that he believes he shouldn’t need anyone else. when Tatiana says he’ll get everyone who cares about him killed with his line of thinking he says the line “i already have.” explains about Owen, and adds “and that was back when I was the old Curt”.

during One More Shot, Curt acknowledges that he tried to get past missing Owen by trying not to need anyone else, which was wrong (“i used to think i could do this by myself i was fine, i didn't need any help“). this is him starting to take his friendship with Tati and being able to use it to see that while he cannot work alone, he doesn’t need one specific person to make him the man he is.

this of course promptly goes out the window when DMA is revealed to be Owen

however, Curt still calls Tatiana “partner” before going after Owen.

when he does go after Owen (One Step Ahead), he still thinks of Owen as the man from 1957 (”what happened to the man i knew?”). when Owen begins to explain, Curt tries to remind him of what they did “together. two of the greatest spies to ever live”. once again associating him and Owen together with being a spy

also, once Owen is dead (idk if i hope for real or not) again, Curt does make a change for the better. he’s able to be fairly confident around Cynthia, he tries to be enthusiastic about Barb’s tech/data analysis merge, he is able to talk about his “ex lover returned from the grave” with Tatiana. i do find it interesting though that he does not tell her about the other facilities, again taking it upon himself to fix it, and only telling her “give me a ring if you’re ever stateside”.

in a final moment, Curt is able to move on from Owen, and acknowledge “i once was a spy, i’ll always be a spy” with or without Owen.

#half way through my brain kinda shut off #probably because it's 3am #if people are right and starkid/tin can bros becomes the new shakespeare #some 23rd century kid is going to fucking plagarize this #i'd like to add something about ''it's meant to be because we're both spies''#but my brain's already shutting down again #saf #spies are forever #owen carvour #agent curt mega #deadliest man alive

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sherlolly-siya · 4 years

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Magnum P.I. S02xE18-20 spoilers and tidbits

I thought i’ll give a prologue first 😅 Remember i pet project where i was trying to decipher the episode names? yea i didn’t get very far on that.. but i have come to a conclusion, that each title is a convention for what the clients in that episode, and/or our P.I. is going through. Eg. S02xE16 : Farewell To Love

Episode starts with Gladys and Bert who had given up on love but eventually found it in one another. The fact that Gladys narrated this part makes it poetic in a sense that she was the one who had to say bid farewell to Bert.Then TC and Teresa, they found the one that they always loved. The one who made them happier, but TC had to let her go go, he bid farewell to his love, instead of ruining 3 lives.In the beginning of the episode, we see magnum all in for online dating, but after what happened with Dylan, we see him coming to an abrupt conclusion that online dating is just isn’t the thing for him, also adding to the fact, the girl who met through an app (Abby) had just recently broken off with him. So magnum kind of bid a metaphorical farewell to finding love online.

Spoilers for S02x18, S02x19 and S02x20 under the cut if you wish to continue. Warning: My rant got hella long, longer than i planned and there are lots of pics and links below. Thanks @maggiesoa and @lizzysfavs for providing some food for my thoughts 😊

So.. lets begin with S02x18 : A world of trouble I’m just grouping together the pics that I’ve found so far which seem to be related to episode 18: Perdy and Bobby discussed about having a scene together ignore jay’s comment here, I’m all for #TeamJin and I will riot if they ever kill him. I believe the episode starts with Jin, showing up at Robin’s nest, where he ends up in a situation where he has to change in magnum’s clothes (note the t-shirt magnum is ironing... (Edit: DIDN'T HAPPEN!!?? I MEAN!! This could have been cute.. didn't have to be a total BTS for once!!) Where we get this scene, All i can guess right now is that is a tab in Jin’s had, and he’s being a fair judge for miggy while they prepare for their visa interview, or he could be here with today’s case

Which takes us to to the primary promo for 2x18, where they solve the case at hand. Now my guess is that the case doesnt take up entire 47 minutes, because this promo also exists. What this secondary promo also shows is them at a office(?) guessing visa or may be its a school where the current client works? where magnum/higgy blurts out that they’re marrying and some lady says that they don’t look like a couple. We also see Katsumoto warning Higgy about the consequences of marrying their business partner. (Edit: this did happen and fueled Higgy’s resolve to back out.. nothing wrong there..but as Jin said.. may it be with Magnum or TC, u’re still breaking the law Mrs. I can figure out how pretending with TC is going to get good results? if anything.. it only comes out of nowhere) I’m sensing a connection here again with the title of the episode: A world of trouble: - The current client, the case was definitely given to them by some one else because they approach the lady coz Higgy says “You’re in trouble, we just want to help you.”, which means she might have refused help at one point. - Literally 2 people in a 2 min worth promo have commented on their wedding, does this not sound like trouble to you?

When magnum is possibly heading out to go to La Mariana, (Edit: DING! DING! DING! This was indeed before the bar scene.. which kinda broke my heart.. but we’ll talk about that in detail later) she tells him that she’s reconsidered her decision that she will be marrying TC instead (which is weird, but for the sake of it, OK). Which also implies that she’s going to have a heart to heart with TC how she had one with Rick before in 2x13. (Edit: Umm.. i would have liked to hear the entire convo here.. but i guess its going to come back a flashback some day?) Magnum than heads to the bar, with Jin where he meets up with his friends and we get this, going by past experiences, this is going to be the last scene where he’s with his friends. Now what leaves me confused is this guy below, the one that magnum rescued and now has a food truck (Rem S1x01, they got him all the way from there now). He’s not listed for 2x18, but the actors caption says 2x18? So is he like the caterer for the wedding? (i thought kamekona was doing that?) or he’s there for entirely other reason?

Now this all leads up to S02x19 : May The Best One Win Again the title is the synopsis here,

Magnum and Higgins are each hired by a different spouse who are in the middle of a contentious divorce to dig up dirt on the other, and Thomas and Higgins soon find themselves competing over resources.

But i don’t think them competing again each other is the only thing here, remember this gem from TV guide magazine? - Jay mentions there being an odd jealousy there, and there is something percolating between the duo which magnum doesn’t want to address just yet. I think the competition is not just between Magnum and Higgy, for magnum it is also between him and TC. May be he’ll be still trying to show her that he is the one she should be marrying, even if that’s fake. - And for the implied element we also have this garage fight, where they’re up against “just one guy, but a very big guy”. This again i don’t think takes forever to solve since, there’s an upcoming wedding everyone has to attend, we’ve all seen the famous pics, but this:

Him again!! And looks like he is in fact catering the event. Now since S02x19 and S02x20 are to be merged into one mega episode, lets slip into: S02x20 : A Leopard on the Prowl

Magnum and Higgins help Rick when his father figure, Icepick , just out of prison and battling terminal cancer, gets double crossed on one last score. Also, Magnum makes one last bold move to help Higgins stay in the country.

This is the rick centric episode the viewers were promised, Adding pics of Zac coz he looks great here:

But do you see anything missing here? My sleep deprived brain does. Icepick seems to be have fallen pray to something on the run, nothing pre-planned, the guy has terminal cancer, he’s dying any day now, why would someone spend any time to plan something against him? (He’s probably going to die in this epi..he only had few months.. the article says “reluctantly try to help him” seriously guys why do you have to be reluctant? And below pic is probably of the same related fight scene Jay talked about in the TV guide snippet:

And if the video Jay uploaded is even close to the actual scene, it could be because the guy hit Rick/Higgy and Magnum picked up another fight with him.. or that’s just for insta.. I’ll leave it open. There’s a fight scene with TC as well i suppose. Now what does the title have to do with the episode? Here’s my theory: - Remember Dr. Kim i already mentioned twice above. He’s gotta be here for more than just “catering the wedding”, magnum said he was a code breaker, he was mentioned in one of Robin’s books, he instantly identified the co-ordinates which Nuzzo left for Magnum, (which is duh! u’re telling me that magnum was a navy SEAL and can read waves but cant piece together actual co-ordinates?!!). Magnum was kidnapped by Ivan’s people coz he needed something from him which was in the books, later Ivan had magnum delivered to himself on a secret mission of retrieving Hayek, who was a weapons dealer but he got away with drones instead.. I think this is all related somehow, there has to be something in this episode that points to this.. I thought may be its in Robin’s books.. but they have never mentioned the same book twice.. I’m still looking for answers though.. But going ahead, see this ,

“ Magnum makes one last bold move to help Higgins stay in the country.” “You see Higgins in a unexpected position, which magnum is very uncomfortable with and where he is not sure about his place”

Soo.. the wedding didn’t happen? So that’s not helping her stay in the country?

It didn’t bother me much before.. but think about this, what if since the wedding plan backfired, she has to go back to London until her visa is renewed/reapplied for : an unexpected position since she has found something in Hawaii she doesn’t want to loose. Which leaves magnum as the in-charge of Robin’s nest and Zeus and Apollo and part of the deal [I can almost see my HC at the horizon]. An uncomfortable position where he has to manage the estate and the hounds of hell without his “professional better half”. I think there is a beach good-bye scene on this day, may be an actual hug between miggy? Supporting evidence as follows:

Now the last attempt Magnum makes, does he offer her a job? Does he confess? But that wouldn’t automatically land her in an unexpected situation , that would be magnum putting her in that situation while being full aware of his position. I bet lenkov has got pretty good plan for this to play out. Now this doesn’t back up my crack where Higgins leaves, because

This story was posted along with the one where magnum is boating.. so they’re probably from the same episode.. where the last ditch effort has paid off but Magnum and Higgins roles have now been shifted a little and lenkov’s quote makes sense “Nothing really changes”.. has anyone ne noticed that there are no Juliet pics from 2x20 yet?

I cant wait to see that though.. and for a 100% i know there is a season 3, its a gut feeling i have. Thank you for stopping by.. sorry it was too long 😘

#magnum pi spoilers #magnum pi #my crack #deductions #miggy #lenkov-verse #thomas magnum #uliet higgins #orville wright #theodore calvin #the ohana thread

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amazingmsme · 6 years

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Round and Round

AN: This is a little prequel to my other Spies Are Forever fic, where Curt mentions another time that Owen had “interrogated” him. It’s based before the show, so there’s no spoilers, just our spy guys goofing off and being teasy. Hope you enjoy!

Curt's eyes flew open, and he found himself in a small dark room. He reached up to rub his aching head, but found he couldn't move. His arms and legs were strapped to some sort of wheel on a wall. He tested his bonds to see if he could break free, but they held firm. He did notice a slight movement that made the wheel turn and inch to the left. He looked out over the room, taking in his surroundings. A single light hanging from the ceiling illuminated a long metal table in the middle of the room. Atop the table were various torture devices including but not limited to: a pair of pliers, hedge clippers, a chainsaw (he really hopes he can get out of this in one piece) and knives of varying sizes. He noticed a dark blob in a chair in the corner of the room and it began to shift once he looked at it.

The figure stood and slowly made their way to the table. The light cast long shadows, coating everything about them in mystery, even when they were directly underneath it. At least now Curt could tell it was a man standing before him. Something about him was familiar, but he couldn't quite place his finger on it. He wore a long black cape that swayed and billowed behind him with his every move and a top hat was tilted down to hide his features. He grabbed the edge of the cape and threw it behind him, making Curt roll his eyes at the overly dramatic entrance.

"Well if it isn't the famous Curt Mega. Glad to see you're awake. You were out for quite some time." The man spoke in an over the top loud voice, and Curt wished he could cover his ears.

"I'm right here you don't have to yell," he deadpanned, and he could see the corner's of the other man's mouth turn downward.

"It's not yelling, I'm projecting."

"Well could you do it quieter? 'Cause I find it quite annoying," he said with a smirk. The man took a step closer and said in an even louder voice, "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't know you had such sensitive ears. But no need to worry, if you're lucky you won't have them by the time I'm done with you." He walked over to the table, picking up the large sheers, opening and closing them as he walked towards Curt. He could see a bright smile gleaming from underneath the hat. "Now, who're you working for?"

"Oh just a small agency called kiss my ass." He didn't even flinch when the sheers came for his head and clipped off a large chunk of hair right behind his ear. "Thanks, I've been meaning to get a haircut. Not too much off the top though." He reached up and violently yanked his head up by the hair, cutting off a fist full. It was then that Curt got a good look at his face. His eyes met a familiar pair of brown ones, and that crooked jaw was unmistakable. Owen was so gonna pay for ruining his hair.

"I'm sure you're wondering what you're strapped to. It's a fun little contraption I think you'll like. Allow me to give it a whirl." He reached up and grabbed the top of the wheel and heaved down. The wheel began spinning and only increased in speed the more Owen forced it.

He then walked away leaving him to spin. He stood behind the table, watching Curt go round and round until coming to a stop.

"That was a fun little ride, are you also gonna give me a lollipop?"

"I'm afraid lollipops are only for agents who cooperate. But don't worry, I have something special in store for you." Apparently, the wheel was also controlled by a remote that Owen pulled out from his pocket, and Curt found himself spinning once more.

"What're you gonna do magic man? Make me dizzy?"

"That's not my intention, but will no doubt be a side effect of your torture." Curt was ready to reply, a smart quip on the tip of his tongue, when Owen threw the scissors at him and they whizzed by his head, embedding in the wood near his head. "How about we play a game. I like to call it "answer my questions or else I throw knives at you.""

"Not very catchy-"

"What were you doing snooping around here?" Owen asked, and Curt could hear him struggling to keep his English accent concealed.

"I was on my lunch break and thought I'd grab a bite to eat. But now I'm starting to think this isn't McDonald's." He saw Owen's shoulders shake with laughter before he stopped abruptly and hurled a large knife at him. It landed in the tight space between his underarm and ribs, leaving only two inches between the blade and his body on either side. He picked up another knife off the table, slowly sauntering towards him. His eyes followed Curt as he turned upside down, and he waited for him to turn right side up. He placed the sharp edge of the knife on his cheek, the blade scraping over the skin and giving him a close shave. Curt would be lying if he said the sensation didn't send chills down his spine, and the intense look on Owen's face did nothing to help either.

"Tell me Mega, just what exactly were you hoping to find?"

"A hundred dollars wouldn't be too bad, eh buddy?"

Owen slammed the knife into one of the spaces between Curt's fingers, and this time he jumped. It was a little too close for comfort, and Owen was really pushing his luck. He walked back to the table and grabbed the remote, turning up the speed.

He was starting to feel dizzy, the constant motion grating on his brain and straining his eyes. It was getting hard to focus. Owen chuckled, "How're we holding up? You need a bucket yet?"

"No, if I need to I can just puke on you." His partner really didn't like the sound of that because this time the knife embedded itself between his legs, mere centimeters from his crotch. Okay Owen was seriously going to get it when he finally got out of this.

"I do wish you would cooperate, it would make things so much easier."

"Well I'll have you know I'm not easy. It takes at least five dates to get me in bed."

"I'm going to ask you one more time: who are you working for and what are your intentions?"

"Well I can assure you my intentions are nothing but pure," he said with a wink. Owen rolled his eyes, scraping the blade against the metal table, creating a horrendous screech to fill the air. Curt flinched and let out a yelp at the sound, unable to protect his ears.

"Stop stop stop! Fuck I can't take it!" He conceded, unable to handle such an awful noise. Owen smirked, ready to listen to his friend. "How the hell did you know that I can't possibly stand the sound of metal scraping?"

"Personal history does have its benefits Mega," he said. He ripped off the cape and threw the knife, making sure the blade landed right next to his head for the big finale. He tossed the hat to the side and paused the motion of the spinning wheel, walking up to free his friend. The trapped agent glared daggers at him.

"Oh Curt don't look so hurt, it was all in good fun."

"You throw another knife that close to my balls again, and I will make sure to chop yours off."

Owen laughed, reaching up to spin the wheel so that he was upside down. He unlatched his left leg first, then his right. "I have no doubt about it, which is why I didn't miss. Trust me, if I wanted, I could've had all your fingers by now." Being upside down with his legs free left Curt in an awkward position as he struggled to keep them upright. Owen took note of this and decided to take a step back and just observe him. His stomach was starting to hurt from holding the position and he grit his teeth together as he seethed, "Owen you ass, hurry up and get me down!"

"Why? Are you feeling the burn old chap?" He teased, reaching up to pat his stomach. Curt swiftly brought his right knee down on top of his head, hard. Owen recoiled with a cry of pain and glared down at his face while he rubbed his head.

Curt gave him a fake smile and shrugged his shoulders as much as he could, "Guess I couldn't hold my legs up that long." Owen scoffed and spun him upright, freeing his wrists. He rubbed where the bonds were, enjoying the feeling of being able to move.

"So I don't suppose you were the one who knocked me out?" he asked, using the metal table to stretch out his legs. Owen promptly shook his head, "Oh no, I would never. I did find the bloke though. I fixed him up with a nice chloroform rag and some duct tape, so he shouldn't be going anywhere but to headquarters. Be lucky I found him before you woke up, 'cause I don't think he has as good an aim. Quite the shaky hand," he said, raising his own and making it tremble.

"Oh yeah, remind me to thank you for literally shooting daggers at me."

"You're welcome. You got the test files?"

"Of course. All on this hard drive."

"Very good. Now not that I didn't have a blast, but I think we should call it a day, wouldn't you?"

"Yeah, Cynthia's probably pissed that I'm not back by now. Although I have a good reason."

"Oh don't think I don't know that you enjoyed being my target; you were having just as much fun as me."

"I-" but his retort fell short on his tongue when Owen simply raised his eyebrow with a smirk. "Just you wait, I'll get you back."

"Of course you will love. That's the way this game works."

#spies are forever #spies are forever fic #saf #saf fic #curt mega #agent curt mega #owen carvour #curtwen #interrogation #fake interrogation #knives #wanted to tag it in case it's anyone's triggers

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frontproofmedia · 3 years

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Canelo Álvarez vs. Caleb Plant Los Angeles Press Conference Quotes & Photos

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Published: September 21, 2021

Pound-For-Pound King Canelo Álvarez and Undefeated Champion Caleb Plant Come To Blows Previewing Undisputed Super Middleweight World Championship Event Saturday, November 6 on SHOWTIME PPV® at MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas in a Premier Boxing Champions Event.

LOS ANGELES (September 21, 2021) – Boxing’s consensus No. 1 pound-for-pound fighter, Mexican superstar and unified WBA/WBC/WBO Super Middleweight World Champion Canelo Álvarez and undefeated IBF Super Middleweight World Champion Caleb “Sweethands” Plant met for an intense staredown that turned into a scuffle Tuesday at a press conference previewing their historic and highly anticipated undisputed super middleweight championship showdown. During an extended face-off that kicked off the event, the fighters exchanged words and threw glancing blows before their respective teams rushed the stage to separate the combatants, escalating a rivalry that will culminate on fight night in just over six weeks. Canelo and Plant will battle on Saturday, November 6, live on SHOWTIME PPV at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas in a Premier Boxing Champions event, with the winner stamping his name in the history books as the first undisputed 168-pound world champion of the four-belt era. Tickets for the live event are on sale now and can be purchased at AXS.com. The event is promoted by Canelo Promotions and TGB Promotions andsponsored by Hennessy and Value. Eddy Reynoso, Canelo’s trainer and manager, and Justin Gamber, Plant’s trainer, joined their fighters on stage at the event in Beverly Hills. Here is what the press conference participants had to say Tuesday: CANELO ÁLVAREZ “You are not on my level and you will see on November 6. You don’t want to fight now, I promise you. “We come from nothing and we worked hard to be here. For somebody to lie and talk trash about us, that upset Eddy. It is what it is though. We just have to show everyone who we are on November 6. “Caleb might be on the same level as Billy Joe Saunders and Callum Smith, but he’s not on my level. I respect that he isn’t here to back down. You can see from today that this is definitely going to be a good fight. “I know what I need to do and I know a lot about him. He’s a good fighter but I know my skills. My experience is going to give me the edge in the fight. I have faced similar styles to Caleb’s against Floyd Mayweather, Erislandy Lara, Austin Trout, and Saunders. “He’s an insecure person and that’s why he came with a lot of excuses about lots of things. I don’t care about it though. I’m just going to do my best on November 6 and win the fight. “To be undisputed is history for Mexico and for everyone on my team. To be the undisputed champion is just a great thing for my career. On the on-stage scuffle: “You can say whatever to me, but not to my mom. I’m going to fight anyone who says something about my mom. And he swung first. I just pushed him. He swung first, and I do what I do. He crossed the line. “It will be over in eight rounds or less. I’m going to knock out this guy. Easy.” CALEB PLANT “I know only one thing better than proving people right, and that’s proving people wrong. I’ve been doing that my whole life. As soon as I stepped on the stage, people started talking about what I can’t accomplish and what I can’t do. Where I come from, there is no boxing community. There was no other pro I could look to and say that if he can do it, then I can do it. All I had was my mind and my heart. “I don’t do this to be famous or to get attention. When I first started, it was just me and my dad. No one thought I’d be standing here today. I can remember him and my grandfather scrounged up a little bit of money to open a little boxing gym. There was just one heavy bag hanging in the corner. But when you really want something, you don’t need all the fancy things. You just need your mind and your heart. “I know that people don’t believe me when I tell them I’m winning on November 6. All those people who tell me that I can’t do something, you live believable lives and you do believable things. I promised myself that I was going to run this all the way to the top, with no problem crashing and burning along the way. I set out to live an unbelievable life and accomplish unbelievable things. Those people who doubt me are the very reason that I’m here. “Miguel Cotto’s brother can make you do the chicken dance but I can’t? Okay. Mark my words, on November 6 you will hear the words, ‘And the new undisputed super middleweight champion,’ but you will also hear the words, ‘and still undefeated.’ “Being undisputed would mean a lot. I’ve sacrificed so much to this sport and I’ve been doing this a long time. All that work would come down to one moment. I want my name in those history books and that’s the only reason that I’m here. On the on-stage scuffle: “We just had some normal back-and-forth banter up there and then whatever happened, happened. It’s none of my concern though. I’m focused and locked in on November 6.” EDDY REYNOSO, Canelo’s Trainer and Manager “I think this is going to be a great fight, one where we unify the 168-pound division. As we do with every fight, we’re going to work hard in the gym. We’ve always worked hard in the gym. "I'm a little upset by how things turned out today, but in the end, we will settle things in the ring on November 6. "The offensive language is what offended us the most. We are respectful people, and we move forward from this with our heads held up high. Now we are going to train well, win the fight and see what comes next after that. “There are a lot of people who say things on social media but then they don’t show up. Some people want to take down a whole country and a great athlete that represents his country. They talk a lot of trash. You need to work hard though. You need to have guts to work as hard as we do.” JUSTIN GAMBER, Plant’s Trainer “I want to thank our whole team for believing in us and getting us this fight that we wanted and this opportunity to make history. It’s been blood sweat and tears, literally, to get here. It’s been a long journey. This fight is not about money, it’s about legacy. “In 1996, when I was 15-years-old, my favorite fighter was the IBF Super Middleweight World Champion Roy Jones Jr. Every fan back then craved an undisputed champion at 168-pounds and now I train the IBF champion and we’re going to be fighting for all of the marbles. “Tune in on November 6 and you will see the first undisputed super middleweight champion of the world and he’s from Tennessee. Anything that happened today at this press conference is going to drive us and give us more hunger. TOM BROWN, President of TGB Promotions “It took a couple of tries, but here we are today with the undisputed super middleweight championship on November 6. It’s a real pleasure to be working with our network partners at SHOWTIME for this event. SHOWTIME has a long history of being involved in the sports’ biggest and most important events and that continues with this fight. “It’s an honor to be working with the pound-for-pound king Canelo Álvarez, Eddy Reynoso and everyone with Canelo Promotions. I’m also thrilled to be back working with everyone on team Plant. I promoted Caleb’s pro debut in 2014 and it’s great to see him up here today in this position. “Canelo holds three titles, while Caleb owns the fourth title in the 168-pound division. They’ll battle to become the first undisputed champ in the four-belt era. History will be made on November 6 at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas.” STEPHEN ESPINOZA, President, SHOWTIME Sports “2021 has been a phenomenal year for SHOWTIME Boxing. It’s one of our most prolific years in recent memory. SHOWTIME has delivered 17 live boxing events so far this year, with several more to come. Eight world championship fights, multiple world title unifications, and now two fights for the undisputed title as a very good year for SHOWTIME becomes a great year for SHOWTIME. SHOWTIME is the home of big fights. It’s the most trusted and longest-tenured network in boxing. There is no other network making a more meaningful or more significant commitment to the sport of boxing. We are the home of boxing’s biggest and best fights. “We are proud to welcome Canelo Álvarez back to SHOWTIME. We also welcome Caleb Plant for his SHOWTIME debut. It was almost nine years ago – September 15, 2012 – that Canelo made his debut on SHOWTIME in a thrilling fight against Josesito Lopez. Nine years is a long time. That was a very young Canelo Álvarez and a very young Eddy Reynoso. That started an impressive run of fights in which Canelo demonstrated his willingness, desire, and demand to take the toughest fights available. Together back in 2013, we set a record at the time for the biggest pay-per-view of all time as we helped launch Canelo as boxing’s newest pay-per-view star. Now nine years later, we are proud to welcome him back for this mega-fight.”

(Featured Photo: Amanda Westcott/Showtime)

#HF #Canelo Alvarez #Caleb Plant #Showtime PPV #Premier Boxing Champions

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anneedmonds · 5 years

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Ruth Tries Trends: Leggings Worn As Trousers

This trend is just an epic no-no for me, right from the start, but now that it is apparently acceptable to wear leggings as proper, meet-the-public outerwear, I have to give it a try. It’s the law.

Why on earth anyone would want to expose their lycra-encased lower half to all and sundry, in normal everyday situations, I have no idea. But it’s happening. All over town (and country) I see people doing everyday things – like filling their cars with petrol and picking up satsumas from the supermarket – wearing leggings as outerwear.

It’s like my worst recurring nightmare; realising that I’m in a public place and that I’m basically naked from the waist down. Because in leggings, you’re pretty close to naked, aren’t you? I mean there’s nowhere to hide when you’re in leggings – or “workout tights” – not only do they cling to every peak and trough, the gusset seam always like to try and do a disappearing act up the nearest handy and willing crevice.

To me, walking about in leggings-as-outwear (and by this I mean with bottom and front bottom regions fully on display, not covered by tunic or long t-shirt) is akin to waking up on a busy street and realising you’re in a swimsuit that’s too short in the body, and that you have great thackets of pube poking out on either side of your gusset and that your erect nipples are badly misaligned. (At pilates the other day I realised that one nipple had become trapped “up high” and the other one had been squashed “down low” so that it looked as though I’d randomly dropped two M&Ms down my top. There must have been a three or four inch height discrepancy.)

Why is there a sudden need to parade our lycra-clad pudendas? Display to the world our exact – to really quite an astounding degree of detail – gynaecological anatomy? It is all beyond me, yet I went out – for research purposes – into the big wide world, wearing just workout leggings on my bottom half, to see what all of the fuss was about. Would the comfiness of the leggings (not as comfy as tracksuit bottoms so already they’re losing) override my innate fear of being, to all intents and purposes, semi-nude in public?

I’ll admit I’m biased on this one. Because I find it bad enough wearing leggings in the gym – one downward dog, or whatever it’s called, and anyone behind you can pretty much ascertain whether you’ve a) had children yet, b) had third degree tears giving birth and c) how well the surgeon did the stitches. Not to be crude (OK, it’s crude) but if you’re wearing leggings – or exercise tights – then the people you’re stretching in front of are probably getting to see, more freely and in better lighting, much more of your genitalia than any of your sexual partners have ever enjoyed.

All that’s between them and your lady bits and all-humans-bit is a thin piece of breathable fabric that – due to its sheen – actually serves to accentuate various contours rather than conceal them from view. As the observer, all you need do is squint and add a few curly bits of hair (or not) and you can just about visualise the real deal.

Not that I spend my time doing that, I hasten to add – fellow exercisers of Somerset, you are safe with me! – it’s just that I’ve been giving this a lot of thought. Perhaps I’m becoming more prudish with age, maybe I need to get with the times and praise the vagina (VULVA!) and be #grateful that we are in a place and era where we can be free with our bodies and worship them for all of the great things they have done for us, etc etc, add more Insta-clichés at will, or maybe I just need to grow up. But that’s never going to happen…

Now look, I’m not a total tool – I realise that showcasing the old creasey/wrinkly parts when you’re in the exercise zone is part and parcel of the experience. It’s like swimming pools and beaches, you’re all in the same boat and there’s a general acceptance of attire and the knowledge that you’re going to probably see more than a few man sausages tightly ensconced in budgie smugglers…

…sometimes really close to your face, because you pull yourself out of the pool right into the lap of an older gentleman who’s sitting on the edge, about to get in. (The real reason I haven’t gone swimming in a public pool for about ten years.)

Where was I? Totally distracted by that particular memory. Nothing like a chlorine-scented packet in your face. I think I also might have briefly laid my head in his lap too, because I had to do a weird about-turn and I’m not particularly great at swimming or manoeuvring myself in water. I may have panicked. It’s possible that I almost drowned trying to get away at speed and swallowing vast volumes of pool water.

Anyway, yes I do realise that certain scenarios (exercise, cyclists’ nights out, Club 18-30 parties) involve the mandatory sheathing of body parts in elastane-rich fabrics, it’s the public wearing of these items, the voluntary donning of leggings in non-exercise-related pursuits, that confuses me.

So leggings as outwear then – how did I get on with exposing my tightly sheathed flesh mounds to the public? I have to be honest here: I only just made it through the car park at Babington House, which is where I do my gym classes. (Lucky me, I know, but it’s my nearest anything, including place to eat, drinking hole, swimming pool.) (Not that I’m trying to justify going to a chi-chi luxury resort for my pilates class, but I don’t want to sound as though I’m name-dropping. I just feel the need to mention that it’s Babington House because there’s a certain risk factor with it that you wouldn’t get with most other car parks. The chance that the Beckhams might be sauntering through the wooded grounds, for example, or that a mega-famous rockstar (can’t name names, apparently it’s all sacred and secret – I just guessed at the Beckhams so that’s allowed) might be parking his battered old Landrover.

Anyway, I crossed the car park feeling for all the world like someone who had forgotten to put trousers on, which in effect, I had, and VERY aware that I was showing my entire arse like a randy baboon. And I was also very aware of the people getting in and out of their vehicles all around me. I don’t know which was worse; the mother shielding the baby’s eyes with a gasp of horror as I scuttled by – “it’s OK Jeremiah, the lady is unwell!” – or the rather dishy man in the Porsche who quite literally hurled himself back into his car from his half-ejected position lest we cross paths.

I was like a giant tadpole in my shiny black leggings; my bottom being the bulk of the ‘pole and my legs the tail. Inexplicably, the designer of said leggings (they’re not the ones pictured, by the way) had decided to put three faux-zips onto the hip area – two at the front, one on the left cheek. Why have zipped pockets anyway, on fitness leggings – what are you going to keep in there, your aura? the key to the meaning of life? – but more to the point, why have zipped pockets that don’t actually function as pockets? Therefore are just zips sewn into the fabric? Utterly bizarre.

The zips just served to emphasise how unsuitable the leggings were as outerwear – there was no front pocket for my small change, no back pocket for temporary iPhone storage. I could feel an actual breeze in my private places as I hurried along, my thighs made a strange shusshing sound as the slinky fabric chaffed back and forth and – weirdly – in all of my embarrassed panic I forgot how to walk in a properly upright position. Knowing that my bottom was on full show, I tried to pull it inwards, but then it felt as though I was walking too straight, like John Cleese, so I went the other way but overcompensated, hunching forwards and possibly looking like someone who had lost all control of their faculties.

So my verdict on this trend is: I wouldn’t. Leggings, for me, are for the indoors, or they are for scenarios when everyone else is wearing leggings. Legging conventions, gyms, legging fetish groups. In most other places, it’s just too much information. Maybe I’m being old and fuddy duddy about this, but I just don’t want to see other people’s vulvas when I’m trying to get to the last tin of Kidney Beans on the bottom shelf at Sainsbury’s.

Actually maybe it is an age thing. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have even thought about leggings fifteen years ago – and I once wore a leotard over tights (with thigh high S&M boots) to a respectable fancy dress party (I was Barbarella) so I can’t really talk. Nevertheless: discuss. Leggings as trousers – with bottom area fully exposed – yes or no? Acceptable or a trend gone bad?

The post Ruth Tries Trends: Leggings Worn As Trousers appeared first on A Model Recommends.

Ruth Tries Trends: Leggings Worn As Trousers was first posted on April 30, 2019 at 10:22 am. ©2018 "A Model Recommends". Use of this feed is for personal non-commercial use only. If you are not reading this article in your feed reader, then the site is guilty of copyright infringement. Please contact me at [email protected] Ruth Tries Trends: Leggings Worn As Trousers published first on https://medium.com/@SkinAlley

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firstumcschenectady · 8 years

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“Woman at the Well, With a Twist”based on1 Kings 8:22-23, 27-30 and John 4:1-30

When I was in seminary, I had the great privilege of interning at the Hollywood United Methodist Church. That church had a deep commitment to the people in its community, a thirst for a deeper faith and ways of following Jesus, incredible diversity, and joy that in being community to each other AND whoever showed up. They were wonderful teachers and in two years of being in ministry with them, my heart and mind grew.

I often took public transportation to Hollywood, which meant that I emerged from the subway onto the Walk of Fame next to Mann's Chinese Theater. It was one long block south of the church. If you haven't been there, then you might not know that the Hollywood Walk of Fame is an intriguing combination of tourists, people dressed up as cartoon characters, people paid minimum wage to hand out leaflet advertisements for clubs and tours, and.... most annoyingly of all... evangelists.

It was my practice to ignore the evangelists. They were usually new Christians who were part of mega-churches from some state far away, expressing their new-found devotion by trying to terrify others into believing in Jesus. While I found them to be the most annoying part of my commute, I kept my head down, and kept moving.

My last semester of seminary, however, we had an exchange student. He was a college junior who had been raised in a conservative evangelical tradition, and he mentioned that he didn't know how deconstruct the argument that the street-evangelists made. So a bunch of us went to Hollywood: 3 last semester seminarians, 1 very interested college exchange student, and the seminary dean; to be evangelized.

We were accosted as soon as we emerged from the subway. It was so easy to deconstruct their arguments that I felt a little bit guilty doing it, like we were teasing a hungry child by putting food out of their reach. However, the young man needed to know, so we played. Their argument was developed in this way: they sought to establish that we had “sinned” in some simplistic way (lying, stealing, etc), they meant to inform us that our sin condemned us to hell, and then they intended to establish that the only way to avoid hell was by professing specific words about Jesus. If there was a plan after that I don't know it, we started messing with them on step one ;) Eventually I admitted to being a pastor at the church which was visible from the corner, and they got even more confused. (After all, I'm female.) I fear we may have even messed up their new-found, overly simplistic, faith.

Most of the time, when reading a dialogue between Jesus and religious authorities, it feels like Jesus is playing with them in the way that we (the overly theologically educated) played with the street evangelists. Jesus terrifies and stumps the Pharisees, Sadducees, priests, and scribes whenever he talks to them. The religious authorities of the day were presumably brilliant men who had spent their lifetimes studying the Torah and seeking to know God. Jesus doesn't even appear to exert any effort in beating them at their own game. He's GOOD. He's the master. He wins every round with the religious authorities and doesn't even break a sweat – well, at least according the Gospels, books written to make him look good ;)

I don't think we can fully appreciate this story without remembering how effective Jesus is at deconstructing the arguments of the wisest scholars of his day. Jesus treated her as a partner, and equal, and enjoyable conversation partner. He didn't aim to stump her, terrify her, or silence her. He spoke to her without an audience. It wasn't a competition. It was a conversation.

The Samaritan woman was the opposite of a religious authority. She had no formal religious education, she was female, she wasn't considered “Jewish,” she was part of a hated group of “others,” she was an unmarried adult woman, she may well have been socially ostracized from the other women in her village, and compared to just about everyone she was powerless. We don't know for sure if she was socially ostracized, scholars and preachers have been deriving it for centuries from the fact that she was at the well at noon, when the women gathered to get water at dawn and dusk when it would be coolest to do so. Being at the well at noon MAY suggest that she was trying to avoid the other women, who may have been pretty mean to her.

We also don't really know her marital status or its significance. Jesus says she's been married 5 times and “the one you have now is not your husband.” The way I see it, there are two possibilities for this: one is that she is having an affair with someone else's husband and the other is that she is living with a man who she is not having sex with. However, as Jesus doesn't seem particularly INTERESTED in this fact, he just names it and moves on, we are going to as well. If she's “been married” 5 times than either she's been a widow many times, she's had men divorce her and leave her without financial recourse many times, or some combination of the two. The few facts we know suggest her life was very difficult.

She is a person on the margins in many intersecting ways. If you defined where power and privilege lived in that society and then you took its opposite, she'd be sitting in the position of its opposite. In Judah, in Jerusalem, in Jewish society, the chief priests and scribes sat in the middle of power. When Jesus interacts with those who have power and privilege he decreases their power. When Jesus interacts with those who have no power and privilege he increases their power. He lives the verse from Isaiah (40:4) that says, “Every valley shall be lifted up, and every mountain and hill be made low; the uneven ground shall become level, and the rough places a plain.”

There are two other super important pieces of context that we need to review before we can look more deeply at this text. However, they're both much shorter than my first point ;) One is location. The text says that Jesus “had to go through Samaria,” but that's simply not true. Jews who were traveling from Judah to Galilee did not go through Samaria. They went around, even though it would be as convenient as driving from here to Ohio without driving in Pennsylvania. However, that's how people did it. So no one who heard the story in early times would have believed the “he had to” go through Samaria. He CHOOSE to go through Samaria. That's the sort of crazy, out of the norm, guy Jesus was. This conversation is said to happen at the well at Sychar, which means that it was near a historical location of Samaritan worship AND at a historic well dating back to Jacob (as mentioned in the story). The conversation about appropriate places to worship God is placed in a particularly apt location.

Finally, we need to remember what happens when a woman and a man meet at a well. Throughout Genesis there is a less than subtle theme whereby a meeting at the well means a marriage is about to take place. Issac's wife Rebecca is found at a well. Jacob meets Rachel at a well. By the time you've read Genesis (as the Young Adult Bible Study did last year), every time you hear “well”, you hear wedding bells. Setting up Jesus and the disempowered Samaritan woman to meet alone at a well seems to open the door for flirtation, or a romantic interlude, or the possibility of an impending marriage that would horrify everyone who heard of it. (So, it sounds like Jesus.)

Jesus is sitting by this well, and an unnamed woman from the village comes out to draw water. Jesus initiates conversation with her by saying, “Give me a drink.” Now, this is how all the other well stories begin, so it is consistent, except for ALL the social barriers that exist between them. So she calls him out on it – she asks him, essentially, if this is really want he wants to do. By speaking to her, he is acknowledging her humanity, and breaking rules that kept unrelated men and women as well as Jews and Samaritans apart. She responses with grace, making sure is willing to take the risk involved in being seen speaking to her. This woman responds to Jesus by trying to take care of HIM, and his reputation.

Now, it is very clear throughout this interaction that the writer of the Gospel of John is interesting in making his points about who Jesus is, ad he does so by having Jesus say the things he wants said. However, we're going to take them as they're written, because we have no other source for this story. They pontificate about water, and then Jesus has his famous line about her husbands. The really interesting part starts after that. The woman doesn't argue with him, nor is she silenced by him. She doesn't apologize, actually, she doesn't even respond directly! She uses what he's said as an opening for the question that represents the BIG HUGE ELEPHANT near the well. She uses it as a transition. She says, “Ah! From what you know of me, you must be a prophet. So, then, prophet, help me understand. My people have worshipped God on this mountain, but YOUR people say that God can only be worshipped in the Temple in Jerusalem. Are you really going to stand at the base of the mountain where we have worshipped for generations and tell me that our worship is invalid? You came here, when others don't come here. What do you mean by it?”

This, my friends, is why so many members of Congress are afraid to have Town Hall meetings, because of constituents like this woman! But Jesus is the one who helps to empower the disempowered, and he answers her as if this is the question he came hoping to hear! His answer is radical, and transformational for the faith of the Samaritans, the Jews, AND the Gentiles. He responds that God is everywhere, and can be worshipped everywhere, and that in order to connect with God one most only worship in “spirit and truth.” He throws away the power of the Temple and the chief priests, and gives it back to the people. (Almost as if this is a theme of his ;) )

Once she hears THIS answer, she starts to get seriously curious about this man who is breaking all the boundaries, and she opens the door for him to reveal his true nature. (She is the first to hear it from him.) She believes him and runs off to tell all the people who had judged and excluded her about the good news. It even leads one to wonder if the reason Jesus went to Samaria, and the reason Jesus sat alone by the well, was to find a person who could help him connect with the Samaritans. Seems reasonable, right?

She goes out and tells all of her neighbors about what Jesus said and did, and they believed her and came to him. He taught them for days! She opened up the door for Jesus to engage with people he couldn't access on his own. She's often been called the first evangelist, which means the first one to share the good news on Jesus' behalf, and I think that's fair. I also think is worth noting that she shared GOOD NEWS, and unlike those street evangelists on the streets of Hollywood, she did not attempt to frighten anyone into loving God and listening to Jesus.

It seems, as the story ends, that Jesus wasn't seeking a wife. He was seeking a partner in ministry, someone to open a door to which he didn't have a key. He was open to the one willing to do it for him, and she was willing to take great risks for him. She is presented as kind, considerate, wise, deep, and honest. What a woman!

While there are many take-aways that could be drawn from this unnamed woman, I think the way to follow Jesus in this story comes directly from Jesus. We too live in a world where the powerful keep gaining power and the powerless keep losing power. The system sustains itself without anyone even trying, and there are a lot of people trying to keep the status quo in place anyway.

To follow Jesus is to refuse that system! It is to allow those in power to lose power and those without power to gain it. It is to see those who are least like us as being most important to us. It is to argue convincingly against the authorities who would do harm, and allow ourselves to be bested by those who rarely get heard at all. To follow Jesus is to turn inside out and upside down the values of the world, and believe deeply in that each and every person is a beloved child of God. May we learn his lessons and follow his twisty example! Amen

Rev. Sara E. Baron

First United Methodist Church of Schenectady

603 State St. Schenectady, NY 12305

Pronouns: she/her/hers

http://fumcschenectady.org/

https://www.facebook.com/FUMCSchenectady

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