#I just need somewhere to complain about this so it's going in my tags and then I'll shut tf up about it

[becca-e-barnes]

Don't tell anyone but I love the thought of pornstar Bucky's girl asking to do livestreams with him. The thought of him taking the chat's lead?? Or reading the filthy things they're saying?? 🤤

"They're making fun of you, sweetheart." Bucky teases between chaste kisses placed to the soft inside of your spread thighs.

'Is she wet already?' The most recent message in the chat makes you squirm in your seat. Not that you're getting very far. Bucky is quite well known for his skills with a rope but he's left you just enough wiggle room that you can still grind your cunt desperately against the chair beneath you. It's not much relief but it's something.

"Of course she's wet already. Aren't you, baby? It doesn't take our girl long to get herself all worked up when she knows she's being watched." Bucky smirks up at you, his fingers trailing over the slick lace of your panties, gathering just enough of your arousal on his fingertips to show the camera.

'Our girl' doesn't sit right with you but you know it's all for show. You're his girl. Only his. Those people watching on the stream, whoever they are, mean nothing to you. You know he'll remind you of that later too. Reminding you that you're 'his girl', holding your chin so he can look into your eyes while he slides every inch of his length home over and over.

You whimper at the flood of messages into the chat as your viewers respond to the crystal clear evidence of your arousal on your partner's fingers.

'Fuck, she's making a mess.' 'Always such a good girl.' 'What I'd give to be able to taste her.'

The comments run up the screen so quickly you don't have time to read them all.

'She's so desperate, what a good little slut.' 'You've hardly even touched her and I'm already hard.'

"You're right, I haven't really touched her much, have I?" Bucky asks while reaching over for the wand vibrator he'd picked out for this stream. He clicks it on and the toy buzzes to life.

He seems satisfied with the lowest setting for now. Not that you are. That setting is almost always just for warm-up and that's not what you need in that moment.

"Please." You whine, tugging against the restraints, only feeling satisfied when your partner presses the soft, silicone tip to your clit, over your panties.

Everything feels heightened despite the low setting. You've been so turned on for so long that anything at all is welcome.

'Such a pretty little thing.' 'She sounds so hot when she whines like that.'

You hadn't even noticed yourself whining, much less the way you tried to grind yourself pathetically on the toy, trying to feel more than the featherlight touch Bucky was offering you.

You felt Bucky flicking the toy up a speed, startled by the groan that left your own throat. It sounded desperate. It was filthy and unrestrained and totally shameless.

"You like that?" Bucky's voice was all that could tear you out of your own head. He rolled the head of the toy in vertical motions, laughing quietly to himself when the sensation made you gasp.

'She's so loud tonight.'

The commenter wasn't wrong. You knew you were louder than usual, a testament to just how much you found yourself enjoying this.

"Sit still, sweetheart." You hadn't really registered what was happening until after it was done, although you'd agreed it beforehand anyway. Bucky carefully tugged the side of your underwear away from your skin, cutting the lace and then mirrored his actions on the other side. With the pretty blue lace in tatters, your sex was fully on display.

Bucky pulled the fabric free from underneath you, balling it up in his hand before pressing it to your lips.

"Good girl. Take it." You hadn't expected this. Automatically, brattiness takes over, your defiant natures tells you not to do as you're told. You hold out for a second, up until the toy clicks up one more speed and when you gasp in surprise, the panties are pushed past your lips, resting heavily on your tongue and you get to enjoy the taste of your own arousal.

[mooremars]

Camelot 2023 Act 1 ramblings about the music and book and also the visuals again because turns out 3,000 words wasn't enough.

I cannot possibly recommend anyone actually read this because it is so absurdly, comically long but I needed to get some feelings out. Also it's in two parts because apparently Tumblr has a maximum character count and I hit it.

Overture

• Firstly, female conductor, we love to see it

• I love overtures and entr'actes and this show's is so good

• Shoutout to the orchestra

• I have never experienced a bad Broadway orchestra but still doesn't mean they do not deserve serious praise

• Does just the instrumental of Camelot make me very emotional and think about fundamental human goodness?

• Yes, this show did its job

• The end of the If Ever I Should Leave You part is just permanantly in my brain as the part during bows where they point to the orchestra

• Whatever the music that plays as everyone starts walking onstage is epic

• The vibe is set and I'm ready

Act 1 Scene 1: A hilltop near the castle at Camelot

• I've said it once and I'll say it one thousand times, I am obsessed with the way they've used the space in this show

• I love that they can walk up the back of the stage, I love that they have the stairs in front, I love that they've got so many exit and entrance points

• Sorry to the actors who probably had to do a lot of running around but it was fun for me

• As much as I like spectacle, I don't inherently prefer it over this kind of more minimalist thing

• But I do feel like they did a good job at conveying scale and drama even though the set is extremely minimal

• "I have the exact same amount of information that you do" just immediately starts the show off on the right foot

• This is a new take and I was here for it instantly

• And such a funny way to deliver a ton of exposition, this will be the first of what will become the prevailing theme of my rambling which is I adore Sorkin's writing beyond measure

• Merlyn's delivery drenched in sarcasm for every line is perfect and we clearly see where Arthur gets it from

• Specifically "do you know what calamity means?"

• But also "things in England are changing too fast"/"words that have never before been spoken"

• Establishing Sagramore in a funny way that becomes so serious by the end

• We jump right into the Sorkin dialouge rhythm and it feels so right

• There's the perfect amount of everyone overlapping each other and finishing the other characters' thoughts

• And also the jaunty music when most of the guards leave, like I don't exactly know why it sounds like that since it doesn't fit but I love it anyway

• I know it's part of at least the movie's score but like to me it's still strange, I've been calling it clown music in my head

• The difficulty finding the king exchange and also the pheasant hunting exchange are so funny and set the tone so well

• Can you see I'm attempting not the write out every line of dialouge?

• But also I love that we get this little build to Arthur to wonder what the hell is going on with this guy

• Because if you're me, you've come into this show with basically the association with JFK and that's it

• So I had no clue and was curious

• The knights have like mostly terrible points but Sagrimore's delivery of "snear all you like but five minutes ago we were at war with that girl's county and tomorrow I'll be swearing an oath to protect her with my life"

• He's not wrong

• The knights are so good, the actors are perfect

• Every bit of casting is inspired and those three are no exception

• "Arthur get the hell out of the tree"

• Again with no context, the tree really got me

• "Hiding, I'm obviously hiding" - I am instantly in, the delivery on this line is so funny

• Okay fine I was in from the way he said hello, also a hilarious delivery

• My roommate brought up immediately how effective it is not to have him do a British accent and how it again just makes Arthur relatable - genius

• Whatever voice he's doing is a perfect choice

• Also young Arthur is so much the right choice it's staggering to me that they ever did it any other way

• They thread the needle so perfectly of Arthur being young but not in a way where he's like an incompetent child

• Which I feel like is actually how some of the other versions with older actors still managed to come off

• But this Arthur is just young and trying

• "My mouth disconnects from my brain"/"I've witnessed that"

• As like a character note, I love that exchange but I also was worried this was gonna be what it usually is, which is a male character who cannot treat a woman like a human person

• But no, Arthur has absolutely no problem with that, his mouth only disconnects from his brain when he's trying to confess feelings and that is 1000% more endearing

• "Years of tutoring in philosophy and law, why didn't you ever teach me about love and marriage?"/"You're not marrying for love and there's nothing about it that can be taught."

• To which my roommate that I dragged to see this twice and who has just been forced to talk about this show with me, maintains that perhaps you could maybe convey that relationships are about communication

• That lesson might've helped just a bit

• "You're not marrying for love" like Merlyn is trying to warn Arthur and he sure did not listen

• "They should be reading" Arthur babe they literally can't, it's the Middle Ages

• Also the establishment of no magic is so deftly handled

• Arthur complaining that people think that dragons are real and you get exactly what this world is

• I love that I Wonder What the King is Doing tonight becomes his noble king music

• Also I just absolutety love any time anything has a recurring musical theme it just lights up some part of my brain every time

• The yelling of "he's scared" and all of the subsequent lyrics in that spot is again hilarious and just very good characterization

• Also the delivery of the slaying a dragon part whatever that singing accent is I love it

• Actually the way he sings all the parts where he's imagining what other people are saying

• The other characters have a lot of songs that are gorgeous and require some incredible vocals and songs with fun lyrics and fun performances but not at lot of them get to infuse this much personality and character into the songs through just the delivery

• Don't know if that's from the original or not but it's one of my favorite characters introductions I've seen in a bit

• From what I've seen this is definitely an escalation of previous versions and I adore it

• He's so annoyed, he hates this shit so much and he's so funny

• I mean also lots of credit to the lyrics because they are obviously very funny

• I love this song a lot

• Arthur's "shhhhit" when he realizes that he's managed to run into his future wife

• The multi-layered complication line, so quintessential Arthur

• The contrast between the gorgeous Julie Andrews channeling singing and Genny's brashness in her movement and dialouge

• Like obviously that's already in the lyrics but the book and direction just stretches it

• Everyone knew Phillipa Soo was going to be perfect and she is

• A lot of my strongest impressions are about Arthur

• Because I had no idea who the actor was and because in the limited amount of adaptations I'm familiar with of this whole story, Arthur is the bad guy or a good but extremely boring guy

• But I knew going in that I was gonna love Guenevere and Phillipa Soo even if I've never seen her on stage before

• So it was unsurprising

• Like my expectations were sky-high and she's so talented in every way and the writing for Genny is so good that she exceeded them anyway

• And she's so damn funny

• Obviously the whole rescued in the wood bit is already just a good joke and I'm honestly impressed with how funny the original songs are

• I am a sucker for the thing in stories where we know what's going to happen because they've been told so many times

• When they have a character say something the audience knows is foreshadowing

• "Cause a little war" is what I'm thinking of in this moment but there are tons and every time it's a hit with me

• The delivery of the clause one bit is perfect and her backing Arthur into falling on the bench and then just turning around and back to angelic singing

• The turnaround from the aggressiveness to the extremely soft and feminine singing is brilliant

• "The more knights slaughter each other, the fewer there are to slaughter the rest of us"

• The exchange about the dowry still being in the carriage

• Their deliveries are so funny

• They immediately bounce off of each other perfectly

• And Genny not even escaping with the dowry she's supposed to be using to buy her freedom, amazing

• "What is power uuuused for? That is a very interesting question."

• Genny just immediately knocking Arthur's socks off

• Trying to write out some of the word deliveries he does is so hard but there are a few that absolutely kill me

• They've known each other for five minutes and they're already having a debate

• "I've known kings, I'm daughter of a king so marrying a king doesn't have the same allure for me that it apparently has for you"

• She just speeds through those words at the end and it's great

• "They run to here" is another bit of hilarious delivery but I also love the contrast it sets up between Arthur trying to be kingly in a way that doesn't fit versus later when he does it his own way

• I could listen to them go back and forth saying why for ten minutes

• Genny's incredulousness when he says the weather

• I can't remember but I think she's walking away and then just turns to stare at him in absolute confusion

• Like he's so ridiculous that she can't help but engage

• I did a quick bit of intermission math and we know this takes place seven months before the Lusty Month of May which is obviously happening in May

• So Arthur is literally singing to Genny about how there's no winter until December while at best - assuming the one month later and six months later are rounded up - it is snowing at the absolute beginning of November

• More likely October

• No wonder Genny thinks he's full of shit

• His improv did not pan out

• This is a joke for me, thank you Aaron Sorkin

• Do love that canonically, Arthur is in fact singing the song Camelot - that he just made up in a panic - what a dork

• Genny's little interjections of skepticism are all so funny

• Also just instantly establishing her as someone you love

• She's perfect

• But my favorite is "my escape is time sensitive, do you understand that?"/Arthur still singing/"no he does not"

• These actors are both hilarious, the amount of stuff required of musical theater actors continues to blow my mind

• Like not only to do the whole singing, dancing, and acting thing but then you have to convey it to a whole theater but also not overact to the people up close and be able to do comedy and drama how

• I was in practically the back row up top and not a good view but extremely close (like seeing the actors spit close) on the side for the under 35 tickets and then also in very good seats and the performances by literally everyone never felt too much or not enough

• "Are there any other people in these woods you could recommend?"

• Also this moment which is the cutest thing you've ever heard

• Do I remember exactly what happened? No. But do I know it was adorable? Yes.

• "And we have poets in France"/"Oh yes of course... But do you?"/Genny angrily naming French poets/"Understood" and he's already singing again

• The entire performance of this song and especially getting her to sing along, so charming in the most annoying way

• But also she's sort of into it which is cute

• I do see on YouTube that there was a bit more to this French poets discussion which was probably right to cut but I am delighted to find literally anything new

• Sidebar

• I have been known to have issues with staying present when I watch things and not letting my mind start wandering. And one of the reasons I knew Camelot was good the first time was that I was totally engaged the whole show. But the last time, I did have the one moment where a thought popped into my brain during this song that completely threw me out of it

• And that thought was "this Barbie has taken a carriage ride to hell" after Genny says that line and like why brain?

• (For the record Genny and Arthur are both Barbies. They are everything. Lance is just Ken. Perfecting his body and soul is his beach. He is Kenough. Arthur and Genny have a terrible day every day. Lance only has a terrible day if Arthur and/or Genny look at him.)

• (I believe I have come up with a combination of words that have never been spoken before and perhaps a genuinely new opinion on a thousand year old legend)

• (In a bad way)

• Anyway

• The pure chaotic comedy of the knights finding Arthur and Genny freaking out is not something I can articulate but I adored so much

• Phillipa Soo is stealing the whole show in this one

• Does Genny come out of her hiding spot with her mouth wide open before she gets on the ground or am I misremembering?

• "We call that a sin of omission your majesty"

• With no remose "oh we call it that too"

• "Were you never going to tell me?"/"No I was going to get to it"/"When?"/"After I told you about the weather"

• Not a single bit of remose again

• I don't have anything to say, I just think the exchange is very funny

• I love not making Arthur any kind of royalty, he is truly just some guy

• Like I'm reading The Once and Future King and Arthur's lineage is so weirdly complicated and I just don't care, I like him as some guy

• "He discovered he didn't have his sword because I left it at... a house, that doesn't matter, that's my fault"

• Now that's a line that is funny on time one and fills you with dread afterwards

• The most exasperated "I was just going to borrow it for the day"

• Something about the delivery of "when I opened my eyes the square was filled with people shouting god save the king"

• Like Arthur never actually says out loud that he didn't want to be king but Genny gets it right away

• "I see you now, you're just a boy wearing a crown you never wanted sitting atop a throne two sizes too big"

• Just an absolute cutting response but Arthur doesn't take it that way at all, he's so earnest

• She reads him to filth but it doesn't even rattle him, he just takes it because it's true

• Gorgeous writing in what she says and his response

• "But provenance has put us both here, both of us highness and want it or not we are commanded to wear that crown and to grow into that throne"

• Chills, the delivery is outstanding

• We finally get King Arthur

• And Genny being convinced, all it took was one genuine moment and she's ready to engage

• Then Arthur again just taking so passionately about what he wants Camelot to be

• No wink, no sarcasm, no shame

• This show is unabashedly sincere and optimistic and I love it

• Genny falls in love with Arthur, I fall in love with Arthur, Genny falls in love with Camelot the idea, I fall in love with Camelot the show

• Everyone including the audience and Arthur were already in love with Genny for Phillipa Soo reasons so there's no moment for that one

• I feel like the trope-y thing would be to have Genny be a cynic here but no, she's just as much of an idealist as him

• She put up a little front of cynicism at the beginning but as soon as she gets the option of hope, she's choosing it instantly

• "Or you can stay. And together we may discover if power might be harnessed as a force of good"

• Like he's instantly treating her as a partner in this endeavor

• And I Wonder What the King is Doing Tonight playing under it so beautifully and then the seamless musical transition back to Camelot is so perfect

• I am music stupid so I wish I had something to say about it but your songs have got to be tight to flow that way

• "I don't know if I'm worthy" also just a heartbreaker

• We don't really get to hear anything about Genny's life in France but she's clearly very opinionated and competent and I wonder if besides the whole wanting romance and adventure thing

• She also had an idea of what the life of a queen is like

• After all she's the daughter of one

• And she didn't imagine having this kind of role in actual ruling and doesn't know whether she can live up to this ideal that Arthur has set

• Like maybe she thought the only way she'd get to impact the world was knights killing each other over her or being the cause of a war, at least that's something

• But now she has a chance at more and she's grabbing it

• Genny singing the reprise is so beautiful thematically - it makes me a little teary just watching her instantly be like I see your dream and understand it and I want to be part of it but via some of the best singing maybe ever

• Such an amazing recontextualization from the original

• I've seen little clips of this reprise from 1961 and this one just feels warmer and more meaningful because it's about the ideals and not them confessing love at first sight

• And somehow more romantic

• They're instantly established as a team who share intellectual and philosophical similarities

• To so quickly convey that and make it believable

• It not only cements their relationship but makes them characters you root for

• And then the sounds of people coming in as soon as or maybe even before they get to finish singing together, like it's their world and they're falling for each other but there's no time, they're king and queen now and that will always supercede their relationship

• Also something about the moment when Arthur introduces her to the court just also really gets me

• "She's nice... some of the time"

• It's cute how smitten he is with her, all of her, immediately

• "Something about her makes me want to be a better king" (so Arthur is actually capable of expressing a romantic thought, don't get used it it)/"She's very attractive"/"Oh she is but it's not that"/"Arthur"/"Well it's not just that"

• I love the way they flip the speech Arthur gives Genny from the original about not feeling like a king until now meeting her

• But now that they've actually gotten to know each other a bit and it's after she's agreed to stay it actually makes sense here

• I do also love that even though he can't manage it to Genny's face, he does feel completely comfortable expressing his feelings about her to Merlyn

• The "oh she is" is so cute, he's so excited

• The music under his conversation with Merlyn before he starts just monologuing, very ominous

• I'm obsessed with it

• "We finally have peace" is another line delivery that I just need to sit and think about

• The joy of it, the relief

• Again the idea that Arthur has been a king at war this whole time

• Merlyn mentions, as part of a joke but still, almost as soon as we meet Arthur that he's fought armies

• He's not optimistic about the world because he hasn't seen conflict

• He's more determined because he sees what it does

• Channeling best man in all fiction Waymond Wang this is how I fight energy and that's very my shit

• Very much my shit might be a slight understatement

• It might not be surprising to learn that Arthur is my favorite thing about this show, they revamped this character so well

• So much of my life was spent in the media age of male anti-heroes and I love that we've returned to a point of male heroes

• Arthur idealistically talking about how they can finally start making Camelot for everyone and Merlyn walking off stage while the ensemble sings I think the part from the cut song and I assume some new stuff that's very Medieval church music

• So so good

• "What do I do next?" so eager and then just the emotional drop-off to his scared little boy when it becomes clear what's happening "Merlyn?"

• Stunning performance

• I think Arthur falls to his knees at some point but I'm already doubting

• The "what the hell do I do now?"

• Perfect scene ender

Act 1, Scene 2: The King's study - one month later

• The transition music between scenes is always good

• It's gonna be a struggle not to just quote this whole scene

• "Arthur, please call me Arthur" is so desperate like he has no one now, no actual human connections to him as a person instead of a king now that Merlyn is gone

• And then asking what she was called back home, he wants connection so badly

• And probably he still feels guilty for taking her from her home to be his wife

• "I was a royal princess, I didn't have friends"

• Well there is a reason they're both terrible at relationships

• I also love the way Phillipa Soo says Arthur in such a stilted way at the beginning of this scene and it becoming more natural every time she does it

• Genny telling him he's not attending to his duties with enthusiasm like she is not the least bit afraid to challenge the king a month in

• Love to see it

• Arthur's "I beg your pardon" when she asks about cortesans and the look he gives her

• "My father kept his women, his extra women, in their own wing of the palace. Where are yours? Might they cheer you up?"

• Genny the proactive problem solver

• Also something about the way she says extra women makes me laugh

• "I don't have extra women, I'm a married man. You were at my wedding" perhaps one of my favorite deliveries and lines in the whole show

• Genny's point of view in this scene is very interesting

• Like she does bring up that it's his legal right instead of dropping the whole thing and that's a choice

• Does she think he's lying about not having cortesans and reminding him that she is legally obligated to be cool with it so to be honest?

• Or is she just baffled by Arthur and his choices because this is a normal thing for a king to her?

• Or maybe since she already has feelings, she's trying to balance her own expectations to not get hurt?

• Possibilities

• "I'm aware of my legal right in that regard and I assure you I have no intention - oh my god - no intention of exercising it"

• Specifically the delivery of oh my god but the whole thing, he is so offended

• "And making the world into Camelot, are you abstaining from that too or will men at honor continue to plunder villages and take, rape, and kill whatever they please?"

• Genny

• Genny you are a hero

• She's so smart and fierce and unafraid to stand up to Arthur

• "I didn't make the world"/"You make a part of it"

• Arthur being so defensive and Genny calmly holding her ground

• She's taken to her new role so well

• And then Arthur admitting he doesn't know how to proceed without Merlyn, I love the way he builds trust in her in this scene

• "What would he say?"/"He'd say my god you're the slowest student anyone's ever tried to teach"/"Well I can convincingly say that"/"It's good that you mock me, kings should be mocked from time to time, it brings people pleasure. But for the record it's no fun for the king"

• Genny sounding so pleased with herself, Arthur getting out another sarcastic response

• Also what a lie, it is fun for him

• Mocking each other and public policy are their love languages

• "He once explained why but I got distracted because a white tailed eagle flew right by" with the most excitement and boyishness

• And then starting to go off on a tangent about eagles

• Never change Arthur

• I just think it's sweet the way she redirects him because she's fully committed herself to the idea of Camelot and her role in it

• "Pace freely at your own pace"

• Another brilliant line and delivery

• Channeling some Mary Poppins here

• Genny getting Arthur to think is so good

• "You had to pace and comcentrate to arrive at that?"/"It's hard to imagine why your country was willing to part with you"

• The proposition/resolved structure of this scene is very good

• And also that he starts with this pessimistic tantrum about human nature and Genny guides him back on track

• It's a great relationship moment but it also lets Arthur have some struggle and lets Genny be for Arthur what he was for her in the first scene

• Arthur collapsing on the floor and muttering "extra women" like wow he cannot handle being thought of as not a good person

• "That's it?"/"Wait"/"I wasn't going anywhere"

• Her being on the floor with him, gently pushing him

• He can't even maintain cynicism for more than a few minutes

• Them building the idea of the round table together, this is peak romance

• I can't just quote this scene in its entirety but every moment of it is a delight of them passing ideas back and forth

• "Isn't it also about the law?"/"It is"

• A standout delivery

• I love when they're working out the wordings like they make each other better

• "The law will be the stone upon which this rock - the rock upon - wait the church?"/"Have mercy"/"The law will be the rock upon which this church is built"/"Nothing can be more important"/"Nothing can be as important"

• This is what I love about Sorkin's writing

• The way that he has characters discuss ideas

• Like everything is an exciting discovery

• There's no singing in this scene but it has so much rhythm and is so compelling when in another writer's hands it would be boring and forgettable

• I broke out a chunk but it's so dense there are so many words and I love each one

• Genny counting down to his return, she already knows him so well

• Again I am trying not to type out every line

• I think they both yell for the page but I'm actually not sure, either way they are so excited and yelling something

• The new book has done so much to deepen their relationship, I adore these idealistic little nerds

• Arthur cannot contain himself

• His attempt to cool things down for himself by taking his hands off her face and then "you were very helpful, thank you"

• Smooth

• Convincing

• Definitely professional and platonic

• Truly do not know how Genny does not realize he's in love with her at this point but she sure is not gonna get better at that

• "And I suppose France too"/"I know that hurt"/"A little bit" and then he laughs it's adorable

• They're both so giddy here

• "Arthur I did already know that about you, that you were a decent fellow"/"I'm glad"

• They're in love. They are so in love.

• Arthur has taken on Genny's tone for the word inspiration when he talks to the knights

• "You've invited the French" every time Sagramore says it, it's just as funny

• "We may not be born equal"/"We are not sire" (with so much contempt)/"So our laws will make us equal" (with no room for disagreement)

• The immediate conflict

• And we see Arthur being a king and taking a hard line which we don't get to see much in this show and I love it

• "What about God's laws?"/"Not. Our. Jurisdiction" like are we sure this is not actually from the west wing

• I'm internally cheering when I hear it, I love this line far too much

• It's funny but also authoritative and kingly

• I get that some people do not vibe with Sorkin's style and that's fine but I very much do

• This show is so for me it's kind of incredible it was not made with that purpose

• A Sorkin character who would love Sorkin's work, I just adore it

• And according to the funniest line from any review I read, also has Sorkin's haircut

• That just lives in my brain because it's funnier than any piece of media criticism I will ever hear

• The knights already dissenting is very good but also that they don't fully agree yet with each other

• They build it in immediately and that's such a good choice, it makes every escalation feel totally plausible instead of the knights just easily falling for Mordred's bullshit

• Dinadan quoting Plato's ideas and saying how they're the well-educated people who should be in charge is great

• I love that the knights get to be characters and have thoughts

• Their constant vacillating between loyalty to the king and loyalty to the power structure they benefit from

• One of my favorite running tensions

Act 1, Scene 3: The countryside outside of Camelot - six months later

• The performance of C'est Moi is so funny

• Going 100% immediately

• Jordan Donica was just as perfectly cast as everyone else

• The lyrics are so funny and then he is just so loud

• His little whispered "C'est Moi" after the second verse while posing is so much funnier than it is on the cast recording

• "Had I been made the partner of Eve/we'd be in Eden still" is my favorite lyric

• The scream on clean destroys me

• Lance is always at a 10 and he's so delusional, I'm obsessed with him

• There's so much loud breathing in this performance which I love

• And whirling his sword around the stage

• "Beware enemies of Arthur do you hear me beware, from this moment you answer to me" while Arthur is literally unconscious behind him, this is comedy

• "You raised your sword to me"/"Oh I was saying hello"/"I did not know that"

• Lance is not sorry at all and it's hilarious

• He's just on another planet compared to everyone else and I love it

• Also Arthur so pure, just seeing a random person and trying to say hi

• Like you're the king of the country, you do know many people are not exactly going to be friendly, right?

• "I honestly thought I was more recognizable to the French"

• "Have you changed your Francs to English shillings?"/"Why?"/"This man's face is on money"

• Arthur subtly trying to tell Lance what's happening but the word subtle is not in Lance's vocabulary

• "I'm underwhelming in person"

• Says the man that keeps making French people instantly fall in love with him in the woods

• "My security detail... right in the nick of time"

• "I beg your majesty to forgive for me for by forgiving me I'll suffer even more"

• Lance is screaming the whole time

• I don't know how he does it

• "But my strength comes from purity of spirit"/"What was that?"/"Purity of spirit, my personal relationship with the almighty, he favors me"/"I'd keep that to yourself"

• I can't write it out but this

• And this is about to have to switch out for the rest of the show so like even more screaming somehow

• He's so funny, it isn't reasonable

• Also love that his language is the least modern of them

• It fits

• Seems like some of his lines come directly from the original book and it works amazingly

• "Be a faultless example to children" is another iconic delivery

• Also Lance asking for a mission, incredible

• He just plays everything so straight and it's perfect

• Like not a single acknowledgement of the ridiculousness of this character

• Arthur will literally get a concussion to avoid a social function, relatable

• "Until you came along and whacked me in my head"/"AND FOR THAT I BEG YOUR HARSHEST PUNISHMENT"/"Nope, nope, we're not going back to that"

• Yes the all caps is necessary, Lance is always speaking in caps, if he lived in a time a cell phones all of his texts would look like that

• And Arthur's tone when he responds

• When Lance starts singing again and then Arthur just says nope so many times

• This is their whole relationship

Act 1, Scene 4: A park near the castle

• This scene is just a magnificent Phillipa Soo showcase that we have been blessed with

• Like she is just so talented and I am blown away

• There's a reason Lusty Month of May is the song they have the most out there

• "The birds and the bees with all of their vast/amorous past/gaze at the human race aghast" is my favorite and she does it so perfectly

• Also the intro music just exactly captures that buzzy spring feeling

• My roommate and I both had the experience where the first time we saw the show, none of the music stuck with us

• And then the second time, all of the sudden it burrows into your brain

• This burrowed first because of course, it's so vibrant and lovely

• The original music is so good and somehow the transition from the more modern dialouge into the songs is seemless

• Genny has two missions: justice for all and bringing sex to England

• Look there's none in her own marriage and she needs an outlet, make those people kiss, it's all you have

• Genny's so fun and adorable in this song and it's perfect and I have no notes

• I'm just gonna go watch the today show performance and bask in it, this is the most classic Broadway musical sequence in the whole thing

• I love the idea that she's inviting all these normal people in and the beginning of the knights absolutely hating it

• "Be right quieter"

• And when they refer to Genny as a guest in the country

• The original is very and everyone loves her and I love that there's this tension where the people with power don't like her but everyone else does

• They say all the quiet parts out loud in this scene

• The show needs the knights so badly to show the discontent growing over time

• But they still respect tradition enough to enforce respect for the queen on Pellinore

• "I've only lived here a short time"/"Oh and you're already the queen, well done"/"I really had nothing to do with it"

• "Full of youth he was but brooding over problems that would confound Solomon. Ever met him your majesty?"/ "Constantly, he's my husband."

• With such affection ahhhh

• "You must be Morgan Le Fay... oh how he'd go on about the loveliness of Morgan Le Fey, her unsurpassing beautiful"

• Genny getting emotionally slapped in the face, it hurts so much

• The first crack in their relationship because they couldn't talk to each other...

• "I'm glad that nice young man found a nice young lady"

• Why does this make me feel things?

• I love the royal music every time

• "As you were everyone, pick grapes, eat flowers, or uh the other way around"

• Arthur and Genny's little catch up about Pelli is very cute, we don't get to see them be cute for a while after this so I just want to appreciate it

• Lance having no social awareness and continuing to make proclamations while Genny could not care less and is actively trying to speak to someone else, brilliant

• Genny and Arthur just waiting for Lance to stop talking after she keeps being interrupted and then Genny rushing out her lunch invitation and Arthur rushing out his response

• Arthur immediately wanting to run ideas by Genny, she is crucial to the development of Camelot and it's very much not a secret

• Arthur's "uh oh" when Lance is doing some casual misogyny

• "That sounded like a friendly exchange of pleasantries"/"It was not"

• No fucks for Genny today

• I wish I could one day know the translation of Genny and Lance's friendly exchange of pleasantries

• "Who would serve as the standard?"/"Oh certainly not me your majesty"/"See no hubris"/"My standards are much too high"/"Dammit Lance"

• "Have you achieved perfection milord?"/"Please say no"/"Of course I haven't your majesty"/"Good"/"Refining the soul is an endless struggle... but physical perfection"/"No"/"Yes"/"Go back to speaking French"

• "And in your quest for spiritual perfection have you considered the value of humility?"/"Ah something we should all consider. In fact let's take two minutes of silence to consider the value of humility."

• The dialouge between the three of them is so funny in this scene

• The ship is sinking and Arthur is just there with a tiny bucket while Lance and Genny keep creating giant new holes

• Genny calling Lance a jackass is both hilarious and also so valid

• "She already has an affectionate nickname for you"

• We have officially reached the beginning of the end, well we had some nice moments

• Like imagine if Pelli didn't start going on about how in love Arthur was with Morgan and then Arthur didn't show up with his new best friend who immediately implied women were too stupid to engage in government

• Genny was having a no fucks day and was probably ready to do a stupid thing and maybe that stupid thing was her husband

• A true tragedy

• "And with humility I"

• Dinadan's line deliveries are so dry and good

• And Genny's laugh

• "And whom will the three of you want to impress?"/"We want to impress the king too."/"Ah yes English men"

• I love the knights, they've all got their own little comedic touches in this song

• Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss Genny

• Take Me to the Fair is a masterpiece

• I don't know what constitutes a hot take about this show because there are 5 people talking about it

• But my hot take is that as much as Lusty Month of May is a brilliant and amazing song

• This is actually the Phillipa Soo tour de force

• Her fake crying is so good

• There are so many good flourishes in the singing

• Same thing I feel about I Wonder What the King is Doing Tonight, Phillipa Soo is just enhancing every line with her hilarious delivery

• Also this sound

• Sagramore is always operating at 50% more intensity than the rest of the knights and it's perfect

• Him having to be held back by the other two when Genny sings to him

• It's involuntary at this point that I turn my head back at French during this verse

• His very loud delivery of "I swear to you the challenge will be met"

• "Sirrrr Liiiiionel"/"Ma'am"/"Ugh"

• And when she gives his chest a little slap after "and young du Lac"

• Perfect

• And her laugh-cry at the end of Lionel's part

• Their faces when she touches them are also just very confused and funny, she is not good at this

• I love when the knights are singing together, bringing up Lance really has wrapped them around her finger

Act 1, Scene 5: The King's study - the night before the tournament

• "You know that it's your move right?"/"I did not know that. I'll need to alter my strategy now"

• Honestly so relatable I suck at chess, Pelli is the best

• "If we're to care about justice, we need to care even more about injustice"

• Just a good little Sorkin nugget

• Pelli refusing to understand any of Arthur's ideas, excellent

• "Do I understand that you intend to be history's first king to yield power?"/"Oh now you're catching on"

• I do just love Arthur so much

• And the delivery of "she wrote what you just read"

• He's so pleased to inform Lance that Genny's writing treatises about justice

• Pelli's smug little "it's your move" like that's correct, no one is allowed to not respect women in Arthur's study

• "He's had you in checkmate for an hour and a half"

• Arthur's patience is astounding, Lance should be taking notes while he's perfecting his spirit

• "Would you like to play me or do you ever do anything but perfect your soul?"/"No I also perfect my body"

• Again just perfect deliveries and honestly so much respect to the new book for making Lance even more irritating but eventually more human too

• I am not dragging Lance, this is a compliment

• Just the way Jordan Donica plays it completely straight without being able to detect sarcasm is hilarious

• "The arrangement I'm in is called a marriage, having some fun would be called treason. And finally I hate his breathing guts."

• Setting up the consequences we know are coming with a little joke, I like it

• "Well be sure and give us clear skies tomorrow when you're arranging things with god tonight"

• Savage, I don't like most of the original dialouge but we had a winner with this one

• Her delivery just elevates it

• "No one could refuse your wish"

• The gall of Lance to say that like that in front of Arthur like he is shameless

• "Why do you have to bait the man?"/"I dislike him, I thought I was making that clear"

• Genny is so relatable

• Their first fight and Arthur's already insulting the French, I'm not sure why he thought this was going to go well

• Arthur trying to delicately ask Genny to withdraw her permission from Dinadan

• He's trying to have this conversation as her husband and not her king but Genny is not even having it a little

• Genny explaining that she already gave permission for all the knights is so funny

• I know they're basically the original lines but ya know, sometimes Lerner nailed it

• "It will seem to the entire court as if you are rooting for his downfall and championing his defeat."/"The only reason it will seem that way is because I'm rooting for his downfall and championing his defeat."

• "He's going to embarass those three. These are not men who take well to embarrassment."

• Like Arthur already knows exactly who his knights are

• He knows that they don't exactly match up to his ideals

• The delivery on "will you withdraw your permission" is also spot on like Arthur is ready to exit this conversation right now

• Also on "if I do will you forgive me"

• Like he knows that's not happening

• "Not as long as I live, no"

• Perfect riff on the original book's line

• Arthur doing some investigating on Genny hating Lance like he knows before she even does

• Ouch

• And then him starting to get frustrated when she's not answering like babies' first fight is not going well

• "Because he needs to be brought down to earth... literally not metaphorically"

• Like she has yet to be wrong

• "Merlyn never taught me how to handle a woman"/"You didn't read the book?"/"There's a book? No I can see from your face that there's not a book. Though maybe in France they would have published something, no I can still see on your face"

• We love a Genny dripping with sarcasm moment

• And Arthur being an idiot nerd

• He's so so stupid

• Another one of my truly favorite lines and deliveries, he is so excited that he completely forgets he's mad at her for a second and then pouting when he realizes

• "If the king wishes me to withdraw my permission, let him so command... nope, then I will bid you goodnight"

• The aggressiveness on her daring him to command her is so much

• Perfect

• I love her nope, a little power play

• Because she knows he won't and he knows he won't and she's happy to remind him of that they both know that and then leave

• His silence is doing so much work too

• Damn this scene is good

• "And before I go to bed as a gesture to Lancelot and to you, I'll pray it's over quickly"/It will be"

• They're so mad, I love it

• "There should be a book"

• Grumbling sullen Arthur is very funny even if How to Handle a Woman is lowkey the worst song

• And Arthur's worst impulse, which the narrative knows because it plays under him talking about vengeance and what he's entitled to later

• Like they do a good job recontextualizing it but it's still not the best

• Just hearing him sing the word threaten is kind of jarring, I cannot even slightly imagine this Arthur even thinking it once

• In my opinion they should've just cut it, I'd gladly take more Sorkin dialouge instead

• I do appreciate the way they scaled back this music in the rest of the show

• Because it's all over the second act of the movie, Arthur and Genny's theme if you will

• Like even during their last conversation

• Because they're not the love story so their theme isn't really a love song

• But then here, they play it under Arthur's worst impulses at the end of act 1 and banish it which is so smart

Act 1, Scene 6: A grandstand - the next day

• The music coming into this scene and when Arthur and Genny show up, again fantastic

• The outright hostility between the knights and Lance, they turned it so far up in this version

• Pushing him down and shit

• I love Athur and Genny showing up and getting to see them actually be king and queen and have their over-the-top outfits and crowns in this and the last act 1 scene because it's so removed from who they are the rest of time

• Arthur's speech at the beginning trying to glorify them not having the tournament and how great losing is and having to be stopped by Genny

• He's trying so hard and his speech is not good

• The fact that she basically tells him to stop and his response is fine like I think he forgets that he's actually in charge

• I love a sword fight

• The movement, the drama, the loud clanging...

• I am but a humble girl raised on the Pirates of the Carribean movies

• Dinadan being a dick before the fight with "and now for your lesson sir"

• The way Lance knocks the sword out of Dinadan's grip and makes him pick it up before defeating him, such an asshole move

• I truly can't tell if Lance has just such a superiority complex that he doesn't realize what parts of his own behavior are making people dislike him or he's just so stuck in his toxic little mindset that he doesn't care if people hate him for it

• I kind of feel like Lance is so into his specific notions of the world that even he doesn't really know why he acts the way he does

• "Dinadan seemed very inspired by your kerchief, should we continue?"

• "You know he almost had him, right up until the moment he never stood a chance"

• Their fight being played out by proxy while Arthur makes snide comments and they give each other looks is good shit

• Sagramore's scream, he's always going so hard

• The fact that Arthur fighting instead of Lionel is new for this

• Genius

• So good

• The dialouge around it is good too

• The temptation to just transcribe the whole thing is so strong

• Commanding Lance to pick back up his sword like damn

• I love seeing this new side of Arthur

• He can and will fight and he's good at it

• "I know what a damn baguette is"

• His little bit to Lance about it just being about morale is very good

• But also he can see what's going on even if Genny can't so is it?

• The fact that he may well have won the fight if it wasn't for a cool bird, what a man

• Fun fact about me, I didn't even see the bird or realize that's why he got distracted until the last time

• He and Genny are like very much not in a good place this moment but he will let it slide to point out a bird

• Arthur's fall is very good

• Can you tell I think this scene is also very good, I've only written it like twelve times

• The fact that they're letting people fight with swords and there isn't a doctor for 12 miles, amazing planning by everyone

• The bit of everyone thinking Arthur was dead and him sarcastically correcting them is amazing 100% of the time

• "He put life back into him" is just consistently hilarious

• "I'm not wanted here Arthur"

• With the most heartbreaking delivery

• Aw we finally see Lance have some shred of being an actual person

Act 1, Scene 7: The castle terrace - on the evening of the same day

• I Wonder What the King is Doing Tonight intro-ing into this scene

• "Well you got me there" being screamed is perfect

• Pelli sensing that something is bothering Arthur, their relationship is very sweet

• Pelli describing the way Genny and Lance were looking at each other, what a shit stirer

• "It may be the only way to get him to stay"/"Maybe it's best if you let him go"/"Let him go?"/"Maybe it's best"/"Why is that?"/"Well...You said yourself, morale"

• Like she's trying to protect them but she won't say it

• For obvious reasons

• But it's confirming what Arthur already suspects

• And just drawing them further apart

• Another great her silence is doing so much work moment

• The entire telling Lance he's being invested discussion is so intense

• So much anger simmering in Arthur that can't help but come out in the line deliveries in the beginning

• Genny refusing to engage and turning her back to the whole thing

• "I'm sure he'd like to hear it from another child of France"/"This is my country now"

• Oh boy I love this exchange

• Like she's trying, she's trying so hard

• And I don't know what the fuck Arthur is thinking with that one, in what way could she possibly respond that's not going to be bad for him?

• Arthur leaving them alone like whyyyy

• And then Arthur giving Genny back her bloody kerchief, fuck

• All is very much not forgiven here

• "God dammit Pelli, I wasn't dead"

• Genny making it clear she does not believe Arthur was dead, I appreciate that she's also very clear on the fact that their world is not magical

• I wonder if Lance does think he willed Arthur back to life

• Probably

• "Don't ever say it out loud. Neither of us can ever say it out loud"

• This was another straight up gasping in the theater moment

• The entire conversation between Genny and Lance is so good and tense

• And the delivery on that line just feels like getting punched in the gut

• Phillipa Soo is amazing

• I love that she won't let them say it, that she's fighting it

• And the way she cuts him off, the way she makes him agree to not say it

• This is the intense love she wanted and it doesn't need to be said which is exactly what she needed to feel from Arthur but didn't get

• Also Lance just trying to confess his feelings the first second he can is just such an interesting character choice

• Like the truth is his purity of the soul bluster doesn't hold up to the slightest temptation

• He's ready to betray Arthur the second he leaves the room

• It's all a front

• Not intentionally, like he believes the things he says he believes

• But he can't keep to it

• I think he's so drawn to Arthur because Arthur actually has the qualities he's proclaiming define him

• But I don't even think Lance knows any of this about himself

• At least not until later

• He's just impulsive

• Which is I think what makes him an interesting character to me but also makes his motivations hardest to decipher

• Before I Gaze at You Again is such a stunning song

• And watching Phillipa Soo just emote for the whole time

Act 1, Scene 8: The great hall - on that evening

• All the music that starts this scene is brilliant

• "I'll never disappoint you"/"I know"

• I just...

• Like we the audience know but also the characters sort of all know and they are determined not to let it happen but that only makes it happen anyway

• Ugh those lines are a little nothing but they're everything

• I have the YouTube clips of Richard Burton's version of this and it does just indicate how well they've modernized

• Theater has changed so much so the pacing of 1961 compared to this is kind of fascinating

• This is also actually the writing I think is the best from the original and it is so fascinating to compare the two versions which I'm sure someone has done and I want to read it because there is so much to say

• It's so bold to close act 1 with a speech instead of a song

• I had no context coming in so they had me in the first half, I wasn't sure if this was Arthur's turn into the villain moment

• Once again I'm just like pointing to the whole speech and yelling how good it is

• Whoever decided this belonged on the cast recording is my personal hero

• This is just on my normal spotify playlist and as long as I'm not reading, I will not skip it

• But I love the idea that in the original book Arthur starts out by declaring his love for Genny and Lance and in this version it's like he's actively talking to the audience to defend himself

• To say he's not some stupid optimistic kid, that he sees everything we have

• Comes out swinging

• I can't explain how much "proposition: I am not a befuddled king" shook me, I was ready for shit to go down and I love it as the opener to this

• The pause before "whom they love", the sadness in it

• "And she didn't choose whom she married"

• Like Arthur can never get rid of that guilt

• The push and pull of this entire thing where he will try to make an argument with himself that everything is fine but the bitterness keeps seeping in until there's no rationality left

• Trying not the write out the whole thing but the rhythm of it, the pacing, this performance is spectacular

• The way the audience startles when he starts screaming

• Like he's having his back and forth rational debate with himself and finally we see him lose that control

• And it is the good shit

• I can't explain how much I came in with no context for this show and how much this completely threw me in the best way

• We're finally a glimpse of what's happening inside Arthur's head, to see the way he's been holding so much back from everyone else

• I love that he's still yelling at Merlyn, not exactly sure what I want to read into that, I feel like there are a few lines of thought

• "Am I not entitled to a man's vengence?"

• Perhaps my favorite line in the first half

• Every line is sort of my favorite but I guess let's settle on this one

• Because the original is "I demand a man's vengence"

• And same sentiment but entitled is so much more toxic

• Like the thing about this magic-less universe is that Arthur wasn't destined for some greatness and so he pulled the sword from the stone

• He wasn't owed something, he didn't deserve it, it just happened and he chose to rise to the challenge

• And this is the first moment he's decided he might be entitled to anything

• And then he does a 180 into deserving nothing

• "Proposition: I'm not a man, I'm a king"

• Like wow so much to unpack psychologically there

• I mean he and Lance have very much the same problem of trying to suppress their own humanity but the reasons are so different

• When Arthur switches into his idealistic mode and they start playing I Wonder What the King is Doing Tonight because he's being kingly, literally gets me every time

• The entire thing is so good, I love the second half so much

• "I wasn't trained for this"

• I love the running theme of Merlyn training Arthur in all of these important skills but never teaching him how to handle emotions and relationships and uh maybe he should have

• There were perhaps some limits to Merlyn's wisdom that set Arthur up to fail

• Because he's been king since he was barely out of childhood

• He never got the chance to have normal, equal relationships where he could figure shit out

• So instead he just pushes it all down because he's not wrong in that he doesn't get the luxury of following his emotions

• I love every second of this scene

• I love every line, every delivery, every movement

• Like it is a hard ask to make an actor just walking around the stage monologuing compelling in a musical and this is so so compelling

• Just on the whole of this show, I don't know that I've ever been so blown away by a stage performance as I was watching Andrew Burnap and this scene is just a perfect encapsulation of why

• Whatever he's in next, I will go

• Okay real talk something about this man's face just renders it unrecognizable to my brain so more than likely I'll see something and be like wow that person was amazing, who was that and then it will turn out to be him

• I say specifically because I happened to be watching Under the Banner of Heaven the whole time I've been having a Camelot obsession and how did I find out he was in it? I happened to see his name in the end credits four episodes in...

• But anyway I will at least try to know whatever he's in next so I can go on purpose because this performance is living in my brain and I don't think it's leaving

• I do make fun of previous versions of this show for casting people who are clearly not musical theater actors in this role but actually I do think casting actors who do straight plays does add so much as long as they aren't terrible at singing

• All of which to say again that I do think this was some of the most perfect casting I have ever seen

• Basically the statements you can tell Andrew Burnap is not a musicals person and you can absolutely tell Phillipa Soo and Jordan Donica are absolutely musicals people

• Are both extreme compliments to the people that decided on this casting

[emdotcom]

I understand all these posts with the angle of "OMG new users don't know how the reblog system works -- we have to tell them so they'll reblog art!" Bc that IS true! I have seen new accounts roll up with 0 reblogs & just likes.

But, also, you cannot fucking pretend that the reblog/likes ratio has not been on a massive fucking decline for literal years before this. It is not just new users suddenly not reblogging -- it is a massive shift in how the Tumblr populace itself regards & interacts with art & artist.

& as an artist, there is very little you can do.

[macarensesangles]

very occasionally i remember some selfship friend drama I was in like 5 years ago and feel like this

i think im at a place now where i can certainly see some of how i acted as like, inappropriate and immature, but the whole thing still just drives me crazy sometimes bc it involved my trauma history as like. kind of a huge portion of the damn argument -_-

im glad i dont get into shit like this anymore bc im no longer 20 and have done some work on myself, but it still sucks that it happened and that there are people i don’t feel comfortable with even knowing i’m still kicking around, i guess

[anirudhpisharody]

.

[angelltheninth]

How about the HQ Team captains getting injured and their girlfriend helping them heal/stay in bed?

There are quite a few captains but I guess I'll just include my faves.

Pairing: Daichi Sawamura, Tetsuro Kuroo, Wakatoshi Ushijima, Kotaro Bokuto, Toru Oikawa x Fem!Reader

Tags: fluff, injury recovery, slight angst, kissing, teasing, being stubborn, changing clothes, reassurance

A/N: Guess we're starting the day with angst and injury.

Daichi is very understanding that he has to take a break for his leg to get better. As long as he gets rest it should be fine, it's just annoying to have to call you every time he needs to go somewhere cause it's hard to get around on his own. Really boring too, stuck at home all day, at least you visit every day and tell him what's been going on.

Kuroo wants to go and play despite his hand being broken. Argues very strongly that he can always use the other one. He can't even eat with his injured hand, let alone attend practice, or worse games with his team. Stubborn he insists that he's fine but has to bite back a groan of pain when you so much as kiss his hand.

Wakatoshi doesn't say anything about his ankle hurting until the game is won. For which he gets a lot of scolding for you and you spend some time at his place to make sure he's not walking around too much. Or at all really, he won't say it hurts even if it does so you poke him to remind him that yes, his ankle is indeed hurting.

Bakuto complains a bit too much for the level of leg injury he has, he just overdid it on his leg muscles a little and will be fine after a few days. Bold of you to assume he won't milk this situation for all it's worth, constantly keeping you by his side and telling you only your kisses can make him feel better. Which means he'll be fine.

Toru almost pouts when he realizes he's cracked a rib and has to stay home. Flirts with you when you tell him that you'll be helping him get dressed, he'd rather you help him get undressed. Despite his complaints and trying to brush things off he is very grateful to have such a caring girlfriend.

[dearemilia]

"HANDS OFF! I'M TAKEN!"

pairings | diluc, navia, al haitham, kafka, jing yuan, welt x gender-neutral! reader

tags | fluff, scenarios, might be ooc (?), mentions of drinking

DILUC is glaring at Kaeya while the latter looks elsewhere, Diluc huffs as he places his hand on top of your forehead just for you to shove his hand away, leading Kaeya to let out a snort “Hands off! I have a husband!” He simply picks you up to carry you to one of the spare rooms upstairs in the bar with a blushing face that could almost rival his hair colour.

NAVIA pouts and whines when she hears you complaining about how you don’t want to come home with her because you have a ‘girlfriend’, she’s so upset that you can’t even recognize your own girlfriend! “Your girlfriend in question is right here! My love, please!! I promise to give you more macarons if you come home with me!!”

AL HAITHAM looks so tired with everything, he just wants to go back home and cuddle with you “Sweetheart, let’s go” You continue to whine as you yell at him that your ‘scary and serious’ boyfriend is going to fight him if he finds out that a random stranger is taking you somewhere. He managed to get you both home and the next morning he tells you everything he witnessed as you get more embarrassed by his story.

KAFKA hums as she leans onto you, grinning “You know, your ‘girlfriend’ doesn’t need to know about this” She places her hand on top of yours as you gasp, taking your hand back. Kafka giggles, you truly are the cutest! “No! My girlfriend is one of the most wanted criminals out in the universe and she will absolutely kill–” She had to stop you right there and then cause you both are in a public place.

JING YUAN sends you his usual smirk when you tell him you have a boyfriend, so he needs to step back from you “Listen mister! You may have my fiance’s luscious hair and handsome face, but!” You let out a hiccup as Jing Yuan tells you to continue. Oh, he is having so much fun with this “My fiance will get mad, knowing that someone tried to have their shot at me!” A day with you is never boring as he says.

WELT pinches the nose of his bridge while Himeko giggles “Oh? But [Name], Welt here wants to get to know you better” Welt silently curses at Himeko for adding more fuel to the fire. You glare daggers at him, telling him to back off because you already have a loving husband who is waiting for you. While he does appreciate and love the fact that you are acting like this, he feels hurt that you don’t recognize your own husband…

[islandofsages]

HEYY!! I love your writing from what i've read and i was wondering if i could ask for a gn reader (yuu) teaching the housewardens about like classic fandom lore- like imagine them turning into matpat to explain fnaf and undertale!! 😭😭 feel free to not do this and have a good day!! Thanks :D

characters: housewardens x gn!yuu

tags: platonic, fluff, crack kinda, imagines format

warnings: swearing

author's notes: SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG also all the fandoms mentioned here are all fandoms ive been in at some point :D fun times mhm

Riddle Rosehearts

He knows you’re very passionate about fandom culture but you never really had the chance to infodump about it to him

Until one day, you drop by Heartslabyul for a leisurely visit, when you see a not-so-clearly distressed Riddle sitting in the lounge

Not-so-clearly meaning he’s holding a teacup in his hand yet not drinking it, eyes closed as if he’s holding in all his emotions

You grow worried at this sight and slide next to him on the couch where he is seated, hoping you can help alleviate some of that stress

He sees you and he allows himself a sigh, then musters up a smile for you. He greets you and you cut straight to the point - can you help him with anything?

He releases a second sigh and shakes his head, telling you he only needs some sort of distraction. He just had a long day and needs to take his mind off things

You take a second to think of things that you can distract him with – that’s when a lightbulb goes off in your head. This is a prime opportunity for you

“Okay, I’m guessing you haven’t heard of Five Nights at Freddy’s since it’s a franchise from my world and all but the lore is crazy. So it starts like this…”

He wasn’t expecting to be paying much attention to the contents of what you’re saying but sooner or later, he ends up leaning towards you with his hand cupping his chin, mouth slightly agape at the story you’re telling

This inspires you to dump even more information about the media somehow at the rate that you’re going

By the end of it, he’s completely forgotten what he was so worried about. His head is full of creepy pizzerias for kids and haunted animatronics

He ends up having some trouble sleeping that night though. He’ll get you for that later.

Leona Kingscholar

He won’t lie, your interest in fandoms is too reminiscent of Idia for him – he doesn’t admit this to you obviously, since he hasn’t had the chance to

But on one particularly boring day, you decide to skip class with him and he lets you tag along for the hell of it

In the span of three seconds, he’s already off in dreamland. Sometimes you wish you had such a skill

Since you have nothing better to do and he’s way too deep in his sleep to even care anyway, you start rambling to yourself and a slumbering Leona

“Well, I’ve been thinking a lot about Undertale lately so I need to dump it all somewhere. So basically you play as this kid…”

Little do you know halfway through his nap, he wakes up from how much you’re talking. At first, he’s annoyed by your yapping but then he grows interest in what you’re saying

He’s almost tempted to try that game for himself and almost disappointed that it’s not available in Twisted Wonderland. Emphasis on almost.

When you’re done rambling, that’s when he stretches his arms over his head and yawn, commenting how noisy you were

You shrug it off. You're used to him complaining about you yapping instead of napping alongside him

…But then he asks you to tell him more about Undertale, if there's any more information you’re keeping from him out of the kindness of your heart

You smile smugly at this and his expression seems to say “don't make me regret asking” but oh, you definitely will make him regret even being friends with you in the first place

Needless to say, regrets were not the only thing he held at the end of that day.

Azul Ashengrotto

Similar to Leona, your fixation on fandom culture reminds him too much of Idia. not that that’s necessarily a bad thing - it’s more of an observation

And he gets more than an observation when you get the chance to show him what you’re made of: useless fandom culture and gaming knowledge

Speaking of Idia, he goes to you as a last resort to ask you to help him understand whatever the hell Idia’s talking about

You don’t know too much about Twisted Wonderland’s fandom culture just yet but when Azul explains the premise of a certain game and its fandom, it gives you an idea

“Sounds pretty similar to Yandere Simulator. Ooh, that one has a lot of history. Let me tell you about it…”

Unfortunately for him, he ended up unlocking your geekiness instead of having you address the things he was confused with

But at least your story makes it a bit easier to understand? He’s yet to decide that really but at least it sounds like you’re taking his lack of slang knowledge into consideration

Your infodump really gripped his attention though - it’s interesting to know another side of human culture, even if it’s not the humans of Twisted Wonderland

He would nod understandingly (or at least, politely) and thank you and your geekiness

He relays your story to Idia and finds it intriguing how similar fandom culture is in both Twisted Wonderland and your world

He would invite you to Board Game Club meetings so that you can rave and find out more about Twisted Wonderland’s fandom culture with Idia

He’d realize that was a big mistake and he may or may not have created the nerdiest pair in the world - but you guys are his nerdiest pair in the world.

Kalim Al-Asim

He’s very curious about fandom culture - he doesn’t know too much about it nor anyone who knows a lot about it so almost all the fandom information in his head are from you

He really wants to know more!!! So of course that warrants a hangout session fabricated as a study session to get Jamil’s stamp of approval

So there you are in his room, books laid out in front of the two of you but most importantly, a laptop

You two watch about a dozen videos on Twisted Wonderland’s fandom culture and as you absorb all the very-much-useful information, you sneak in tidbits from the culture of your world

“This one in particular is reminiscent of Danganronpa. Man, that one was a wild ride…”

It’s exciting to be able to talk about it with someone you trust wholeheartedly, especially Kalim, whom you know wouldn’t be so judging

He only nods in understanding at every point you made, his eyes sparkling with all the curiosity in his body

You were on your thirteenth video when you two are interrupted by a rap on the door and an unfortunately-familiar voice

So obviously you and your bestie hurriedly rush to close all the tabs on your laptop and open up something more academically-inclined

Which is obviously a…dictionary site

Jamil blinks twice at this, says nothing (but probably noting how it makes sense for you guys since you two are bumbling idiots) and walks away

If there’s any dictionary being read that day, it’d be a dictionary of fandom terminology, that’s for sure.

Vil Schoenheit

He doesn’t know too much about it - and doesn’t bother to learn much about it since he has better things to do - but since it’s you, he tries his best to be a good listener

The two of you sit down in the courtyard one day, the chirping of birds and rustling of leaves music to your ears; beauty truly is everywhere around you when you’re next to him

He’s talking about something. You’re not sure what because you’re entranced by the way his hair hangs above his eyes so elegantly. He notices this and calls you out for it

You shrug and excuse how you can’t help it - he’s like a dating simulator love interest in the real. He asks you what you mean by this. Now’s your chance to shine!

“Hmm, you know, something like Mystic Messenger? Hehe, let me tell you a bit about it…”

Unluckily for him, your “a bit” turns out to be a four-hour long ramble about the aforementioned dating simulator a little too reminiscent of Rook for his liking too

Despite his reservations, he really did enjoy hearing you talk so passionately about your interest; it’s a bonus that the topic itself is interesting

He tells you he wouldn’t mind trying out the game or at least finding out more about it though unfortunately it’s not available in Twisted Wonderland

You share his shame - until he says he’ll pitch the concept of the game to some authorities he know and perhaps make it a reality

Sorry, he’s going to what now?

You’re a little shaken. Sometimes you forget he’s a world-class model, despite his looks and mannerisms. You save your nerves for if a Twisted Wonderland version of Mystic Messenger actually ends up happening

He thanks you for enlightening him about fandom and video gaming culture. You use this as a cue to add another four hours of ranting about V’s route in the game.

Idia Shroud

You’re another victim for him to taint… or so he thought. You’re more of an ally than a victim at this point, considering how nerdy you are

He’d dump fandom lore on you and you’d reciprocate it right back. He’s genuinely so impressed with your knowledge, even if they differ by some degree due to being from different worlds

He gets more impressed when you pull up with knowledge about Twisted Wonderland’s fandom culture like damn, you really brushed up on your talking points already

Friendly rivalry aside, he really does enjoy talking about fandom culture with you and hearing about the things from your world - every story you tell adds a little color into his world

One day, the two of you are leaning on each other, on your phones because of course you are, even if you two are friends, talking still isn’t Idia’s strong suit

That’s when you blurt it out–

“Hey, wanna hear about this game called Persona? It’s a turn-based RPG and…”

Regardless of his response to your question, you ended up babbling away either way. It’s how conversations start between the two of you

You’re speaking so fast, he would have mistaken you for a rapper - or a doppelganger of himself even

Consider him entertained - he finds himself smiling by the end of your yapping and intrigued by your story

He then obviously starts to relate it to something from Twisted Wonderland, passing the listener baton to you

You don’t mind – you can stay there for hours and hours, just going back and forth with your fellow nerdy-ass friend.

Malleus Draconia

This man barely knows how to use a smartphone so you had to be a little patient with him when guiding him through the fandom culture trenches

He’s happy that you trust and cherish him enough to talk about your interests with no reservations or shame – and the feeling is mutual

On a certain weekend, the two of you are hanging out as usual. Chatting as friends would do

You don’t know why but the conversation reminded you of a certain fandom

“It’s kinda like Genshin’s community, I guess. They’re a riot, let me tell you that.”

Oh? What’s a Genshin and why is its community a riot?

You’re glad he asked – because you’ve prepared a 100-slide presentation on the history of the game and its fans

He asks you why and how did you find the time to make that. You tell him to shut up and that it doesn’t matter, he just needs to listen to you

You start and it feels like you’ll never stop – there’s just so much to say and Malleus has so much time in the world

Seeing his reactions to certain events makes you crack up and at times, you’d laugh at his shocked expressions (or sigh exhaustively, depending on the event you’re explaining)

When you finally stop, he gives you a one-man standing ovation. You blush a little at the attention and unexpected reaction but you appreciate his sentiment nonetheless. He tells you that your presentation has been very informative for him

You’re relieved to have been able to get that off your chest… and Malleus is more than ecstatic to relay the information to everyone he’s ever known. You obviously pretend that you had no involvement in his sudden investment of a game from another world.

[holllandtrash]

last call | max verstappen

pairing: max verstappen x reader

a one shot based on the song last call by jamie miller, i highly suggest listening to it 'Cause when it's last call I wanna be your first call I wanna be your ride home You're gonna be my downfall

word count: 7.4k tags/warnings: soft and sweet, alcohol consumption

Max Verstappen was a lot of things.

He was a world champion, for starters. A two-time world champion, a title he carried proudly. He was on his way to claim that title for the third time, but he didn’t let the arrogance or the ease of it get to his head, there was still work to do this season.

He was a son and a brother. He cared about his family more than the media would ever know, always painting him as some sort of villain on and off the track to which it got to the point that Max simply stopped trying to change people’s opinions. His family knew who he was, he didn’t need to make any adjustments for them.

He was a friend, and a damn good one if he said so himself. To be fair, it was difficult to see the mates he grew up with when his job took him around the world and back, but he never forgot his roots. He cherished any time he got to spend with those in his close circle. He had a rule too, no phones. If he was with his friends, nothing on his phone mattered. That was also why he was deemed ‘antisocial’ during any breaks, however long. God forbid he not take any photos of him having a good time to prove he knows how to have a good time.

Last but most certainly not least, on Friday and Saturday nights in Monaco, he was a chauffeur. 

Your chauffeur.

Neither of you were quite sure when this whole arrangement started, but did that really even matter?

Max pulled up alongside the curb of the club and sent you a text. A minute later you came walking out the doors, a grin plastered on your face as you said your goodbyes to your friends. 

As you walked around the front of the car, Max tried to not let his gaze linger on the way your skirt showcased the length of your legs and how in a matter of a seconds you’d be sitting next to him and he’d be thanking his lucky stars he drove a manual so he had a reason to keep his hand off of you.

You climbed into the passenger side of his car, the seat was already adjusted to your height. There was an unopened bottle of water in the cup holder. An artist you listened to was already quietly playing through the speakers. Even if Max didn’t get a heads up that you were going out tonight, he knew what to do when you called him.

He knew that if the seat was pushed back you would complain, jokingly. He knew that you’d ask if he had water somewhere in his car and he knew that you’d ask for help to connect your phone to Bluetooth, if it hadn’t already died. 

And while Max liked that routine, he also liked seeing your face light up when you realised you no longer needed to ask for anything. 

“Hi,” you turned in your chair to face him. You were smiling, but you had been smiling all night. Did you mean any of them in the last few hours? The answer was unknown, but you certainly meant it now. You took one look at Max and you couldn’t help but smile, it was your body’s natural reaction, just like how you turned to face him as soon as you sat down. 

“Fun night?” He asked. He always asked that, but you both knew he didn’t care about what you got up to inside the walls of the nightclub. If he cared, he would have joined you the number of times you politely asked him to when you saw him in passing when you left the flat. But Max just wasn’t a nightclub kind of person. 

“Yeah,” you sighed, running your fingers through your hair. “Yeah, Rina’s a bit of a handful, but it was fun.”

“You stayed out late,” Max pointed out, but not in a type of way you would expect a parent to discipline their kid. It was simply Max calling attention to the time, the same time as always. 

This was a habit you had fallen into, unintentionally. 

Wherever you were, whatever establishment, when their bartenders yelled for last call, you pulled out your phone and called Max. The call for the last round of drinks was your reminder that you needed to go home and luckily, there was someone who would pick you up, every time, without fail. 

It was convenient that you two lived in the same building. It may have been in passing that Max offered for you to ever call him if you needed something, but neither of you expected it to spiral into this. 

He was just being friendly. It was the neighbourly thing to do. 

Which is why you were hesitant the first time you called Max when you needed a ride home. But all of your friends had left you, you lost your credit card somewhere on the dance floor and in your state of mind, you were in no position to try and walk the streets of Monte Carlo alone. 

So you called him, apologising about a dozen times but through the line you heard him get up from bed with a quiet sigh. You heard the jingle of keys and it wasn’t long before you finally heard Max’s car roar to life and he told you he’d be there in ten minutes.

That pattern of sounds became music to your ears before you knew it. The faint grunt as he stood up, the keys twirling around his finger, his car turning on. 

Breath, keys, car. It was clockwork. It was something you pretty much expected at this point when you called him. 

And Max, well Max knew it was pointless to even lay down, but he did on the off chance you didn’t go out. You always went out. 

Max had a good heart. He wanted his friends to be safe and somehow, you had wormed your way into that layer of his life. You were one of his friends. And he would rather you call him every Friday night than have to wake up in the morning and not know if you got home at all.

It was convenient that he was home for the break. He was in Monaco. He could be there for you when you needed him, and he would be.

But that pegged the question, what did you do when he was away? When he was racing? When he was across the globe fighting for championship points, who did you call to pick you up at the end of the night?

Max never asked. In fact, the topic of his job never came up with you. You knew he was a Formula 1 driver, he mentioned it subtly, well he thought it was subtle, it really wasn't. And when you said “Oh yeah, my dad watches that. He likes Josef Newgarden,” Max bit his tongue so as to not tell you that your dad was referring to an IndyCar driver, a completely different series.

You knew very little about the sport. Even with Monaco being the pinnacle track of Formula 1, you never bothered to learn about it or keep up with it. Maybe that’s why Max found it so easy to talk to you in the first place. You never once saw him as a driver. You just saw him as your neighbour and on some nights, your chauffeur. 

So one could imagine his surprise when you brought up his career during that drive home.

“When do you go back?” You asked, slight hesitancy in your tone as this was not a topic you knew well, your vocabulary was limited. “To racing?”

“Two weeks,” Max answered. “It’ll be my home race.”

He pulled up to a red light and glanced at you, instantly recognising that the term home race was not one you were familiar with, but you nodded as though you did. 

“It’s in the Netherlands,” he further clarified. Your mouth formed an ‘o’ shape as you were reminded that he was Dutch. 

“That’ll be fun,” you added. 

Why was this awkward? Neither of you were usually ones for small talk. Usually you would get in the car and talk about the characters you saw that you knew he’d get a laugh at. You would be chatting his ear off, that was part of the routine. 

And tonight, you were struggling to fill the silence. Max couldn’t tell why. 

You knew why, however. 

It was because when you were out tonight, your friend Rina was whisked away by someone who asked to dance with her. She blushed, her cheeks and neck turning bright red before saying yes and taking his hand to lead her towards the dance floor.

You watched with amusement, happy for your friend, but there was that sinking feeling of jealousy settling in the pit of your stomach. Granted, the man she was dancing with was not your type. He was tall, too tall, with dark features, an arm of tattoos. Sure he seemed charming and he certainly knew how to dance, but you weren’t jealous he had chosen Rina instead of you.

You were jealous that your friend had someone to dance with. 

And you had been asked a few times by strangers to join them under the lights, but you turned down all of them. They weren’t people you wanted to spend your time with. They didn’t give you butterflies when you thought about the potential of starting something new with a stranger from the club.

No, you got those butterflies when you climbed into the passenger seat of Max’s car. They were faint, they came as fast as they went. They could have been mistaken for nausea if you weren’t certain you only had two drinks tonight.

But they were there.

Which led to your next thought, if Max ever asked you to dance, you’d say yes in a heartbeat. 

And you had been attracted to Max since the first day you saw him, basically, but you kept those feelings to yourself, even as they grew from a physical attraction to more.

Recently, however, they had been getting harder and harder to ignore.

So maybe that’s why you were struggling to move past this silence right now. You were suddenly looking at Max in a very different light. He was your friend, yes, but he had proven time and time again that he would show up for you, that he wouldn’t hesitate to pick you up no matter that hour. None of your other friends made that commitment to you. 

But you would never act on any of it. The thoughts, the feelings. Max had never once hinted that he was interested, he was just nice. He was wholesome, despite what you had heard in the media. He was just looking out for you.

So when he walked you to the door of your flat that evening, you said goodnight like you usually did and you headed inside.

You had no idea that Max lingered in the hallway for a minute, debating with himself whether or not he should knock on your door. He’d done it before, making up some excuse to talk to you for just another few minutes. 

Because the truth was, Max enjoyed the time he spent with you, even if it was limited to those car rides from the club to your apartment complex. He liked not knowing which version of you would climb into the passenger seat. While you were almost always talkative, there were times when all you wanted was a coffee at an ungodly hour. There were times when you were complaining about the people you met. There were times when you couldn’t stop laughing to the point that Max had to pull over because your laughter was angelic and contagious and he wasn’t about to risk getting into an accident because the two of you couldn’t contain yourselves.

Max liked the fact that you always called him at the end of the night. 

For some weird reason, he liked that you were thinking of him. It made him so unbelievably happy to know that when the bartender yelled for ‘last call’ at the end of the night, he was your first call. 

But those phone calls were only ever restricted to Friday and Saturday nights. And only when he was in Monaco. While you didn’t understand Formula 1, you must have followed it a bit to know when he wasn’t home. You never called him during a race weekend. 

Except that one night last year when he was in Austin. It was just after 2am in Monaco, but Max was sitting down and having dinner in his hotel room. For you, it was early Sunday morning. For him it was still Saturday.

And it was because you didn’t recognise the pattern, you didn’t hear the breath, the keys, the car, you instantly knew that this was a weekend where he was away. He was working, racing, whatever he wanted to call it.

“Oh fuck,” you blurted out before Max could say anything. Your exclamation was met with a hefty laugh. He wasn’t annoyed in any means that you had called him while he was away, just a bit surprised is all. 

“I can order you an uber,” He instantly offered. You heard the sound of him shifting on the bed and his voice then echoed as it bounced off the walls of his hotel room, like he turned on the speakerphone, like he was already looking for the app to order you an uber from halfway across the world. 

“I can do that myself,” you argued. 

The line was silent for a moment. You were both thinking the same thing. Why didn’t you just always call an uber? Why did you always rely on Max to drive you home? 

Neither of you voiced that question. You had your own answers, but if they didn’t match up then that would lead to an entirely different conversation, one that you could do without, one that had the risk of ruining whatever sort of pattern you had fallen into.

“You okay? Did you have a fun night?” Max moved on, not wanting to think about how you were probably ordering that car for yourself. If he was in Monaco right now, he’d already be in the elevator down to the parking garage. 

“Yeah, it was good,” your words slurred together. Not enough to alarm Max, but he knew you. He knew that the more you drank, the more honest you were. 

You proved that point about two seconds later.

“Honestly, Jordan’s just fucking annoying,” you sighed. Max could picture you running your hands through your hair, you did that often, but especially when something was eating at you and right now, it was your friend Rina’s boyfriend. Boyfriend? Boy toy? Ex? Max tried to keep up, but there was a new label every week. It’d be easier to stay up to date with your life and the ‘drama’ that circled it if you saw him more than once or twice a weekend, but he wasn’t about to put that thought in your head and potentially scare you off. What you had was fine. The late night calls, the last calls turned first calls was fine.

“What happened now?” Max asked. 

“Well we literally told him not to come out, Rina’s still pissed after what he did last week- oh shit, hang on.”

While you searched for what Max could only assume was a credit card or your lip gloss or something that should have fallen out of your pockets by now, he thought back to what Jordan did last week. 

You sighed heavily into the receiver, “...what was I saying?”

“Rina’s still mad,” Max reminded you. “She hasn’t forgiven him for getting drunk at her parents anniversary dinner?”

You laughed, “God you have a better memory than me. I had to ask Rina why we were giving him the cold shoulder tonight.”

Point for Max. 

Why did this little victory mean so much to him?

“Anyway, he tried to make it up to her tonight by buying all of her drinks but then his card declined like an hour in, who lives in fucking Monte Carlo and can’t afford drinks? He’s a fake, is what he is and Rina deserves so much better. I have a theory he’s-”

“That he's from Nice,” Max finished with his own chuckle. “Want me to hire a P.I. to look into it?”

There was a pause and then a very serious, “Can you actually do that?”

“I could but I was joking,” Max said. He could picture your pouty bottom lip. It was a good thing you weren’t actually with him. He probably would have given in and found a private investigator within an hour. 

“Oh I think my uber- yeah that’s it,” you said, more to yourself than to him as your voice trailed off at the end. “I’m sorry for calling. I knew you were in Austin, I just- I forgot. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologise,” Max told you. “You don’t ever need to apologise for calling me. You know that if I was home I’d come pick you up, right?”

A faint inhale, one that held so many feelings that your words could never express, “I know.”

“Get home safe, okay?”

“I will,” you assured him. “And good luck today. Or- tomorrow, I guess. I know you’ll kill it.”

This was how Max knew you weren’t keeping up with Formula 1. He had officially claimed his second world championship title last weekend in Japan. He could quite literally sit out of the remaining races and still hold enough points to safely stand at the top of the driver standings. 

But he wasn’t going to tell you that because he knew you’d instantly feel bad for not knowing, for not congratulating him. In your head, the championship fight went until the end of the season and typically it would, but this year was different for Max. 

Max just said thank you and you both hung up. You climbed into the backseat of an uber where there was no water waiting for you and you didn’t dare ask for the driver to play Harry Styles. Max laid back on his bed, pushing his tray of room service aside as he stared up at the hotel ceiling. 

When he returned that following Monday, Max was surprised to see dark blue streamers hanging on the outside of his door. There was a card shoved halfway underneath the door and he opened it up, looking at the delicate handwriting that read ‘heard you’re a world champion or whatever, let me know if you want to celebrate, I don’t mind picking you up for a change’. 

Max laughed as he read the card. It was very you. You didn’t give two shits about the driver championship and Max loved that. He loved that you found reasons to be his friend outside from the fact that he was a Formula 1 driver. You didn’t care that his name came with power, wealth, fame, but you still showed your support with the little you knew about racing. You were a good friend to him.

And that’s what it was. Friendship. Why else would you have written, ‘I don't mind picking you up for a change’? You weren’t offering to celebrate with him, you were offering to be the designated driver after he went out with his group of friends, the friends that did care about his career. 

Max would have gone out and celebrated with you. He would have said yes in a heartbeat, if you asked.

But you didn't. The closest that you came to going out with him was when you politely invited him to join you on your evenings out with your close circle, but Max was an afterthought. You never knocked on his door and invited him out, it was only if you passed him in the hallway or if the elevator doors opened and he was standing on the other side.

And Max said the same thing every time. ‘Nah, you have fun. Let me know if you need a ride home.’ 

Max thought you were just being friendly, neighbourly, but the truth was, you were waiting for the day where he said ‘Yeah, why not?’. 

You never went out of your way to ask him out because of the rejection you had received in passing. How embarrassing would it be if you knocked on his door only to be met with the same rejection? To see the look of pity on his face as the door slowly shut. 

There was a lot of uncertainty when it came to how you saw him or how he saw you and the only thing that was certain, was that you were friends. 

So that’s why Max didn’t knock on your door now and make up some excuse about how you left his lip gloss in his car. He returned to his room and found himself staring up at the ceiling of his flat at 2:30 in the morning, something he had gotten quite used to, until sleep took over as he was thinking about how maybe next time, maybe next Friday, he’ll make a proper move.

But a wrench was thrown into his plans when your name lit up his phone screen a few days later. It wasn’t weird that you were calling him, what he couldn’t understand was why. It was a little after three on a Wednesday. Your conversations, the phone calls, the late night drives, they were confined to weekends.

Max answered though, maybe you left work early and accidentally drank too many sangrias on a patio. He’d pick you up, of course, this was just very unlike your pattern.

He expected to hear the slurring of words. He could understand drunk you enough to piece together what you were saying.

But the sharp inhale through your words, this was new. It was clear you were actively trying to not cry into the phone, trying to hold yourself together but Max heard it as your meek ‘hi’ came through the receiver.

And god did it break him. 

“Where are you?” Max asked, already sliding his shoes on practically sprinting towards the elevator. Of course it was stuck on the main floor. No matter how many times he pressed the button, that steel boxed moved too damn slowly for his own good.

“Horizon,” you sniffed. Max recognized that restaurant. “I’m sorry, I didn’t- I didn’t know who to call. Can you-”

“I’m already on the way.”

It wasn’t far. Max pulled up outside the restaurant in under ten minutes. You were sitting on a bench, dark shades covering your eyes but Max caught the way you raised your hand to wipe your cheeks before climbing into the car. 

He didn’t even think to grab tissues before leaving his flat, but he had a feeling you would just deny them anyway. If he knew anything about you, he knew you weren’t one to cry. You had a very hard exterior, you felt things deeply, but you didn’t cry. Not in front of other people.

“Can we just- I don’t know, can we just drive for a bit?” you kept your gaze on the road in front of you. This wasn’t like you and Max would do anything to see the light in your eyes, to see your bright smile that made getting out of bed at 2 in morning worth it every time.

Max nodded, getting the idea that you didn’t want to talk. Or if you did, it would be on your own accord. You crossed one leg over the other and Max glanced at the beige romper you wore. He didn’t point out the dark red stain on your hem, but you rubbing at it was certainly not going to get it out. He could only assume it was wine? Did you spill wine on yourself at lunch? Who were you even out for lunch with?

And then he noticed you playing with the ring on your middle finger, again this wasn’t like you. You didn’t fidget and if you did, you’d play with the strands of your hair. 

Max had seen you drunk, he’d seen you a few drinks in, he’d seen you sober. 

He’d never seen you so upset over something before, though. The silence in the car was heavy. Whatever was on your mind, he wished there was a way for him to take some of the weight off of you. 

He wasn’t travelling in any particular direction, just aimlessly around Monaco, but after the seconds turned to minutes, Max saw you visibly relax against the seat of his car.

“Do you know what I do?” You asked him, pulling your sunglasses off. 

You both turned your faces towards each other. Faint mascara smudges stained the corner of your eyes. Your cheeks were still rosy, your jaw was clenched in anticipation of the rest of the conversation. This wasn’t the you that Max was used to, but it was a version of you he wanted to get to know. He wanted to know every side of you, even the sides you tried to hide behind sunglasses and spilled wine and choked back tears.

“Job wise?” Max asked for clarification. “Yeah, you’re ah- an environmental consultant? Right?”

You were a little impressed that he knew, but to be fair, you’ve had hundreds of conversations with Max and you weren’t sober for all of them. The discussion of jobs probably slipped your mind.

“I like my job,” you stated.

“Good. That’s important.”

“So why do I feel stuck?”

Max licked his lower lip, “Elaborate.”

“I’ve been doing the same thing since I graduated,” you told him, looking out the window again. Slowly, the Monte Carlo skyline was disappearing into the side mirrors. “And I like it, I do. I like the company I work for. I like the people I work with, but why does it feel like that’s the only thing I have going for me in life right now?”

“I’m sure that’s not true,” Max sighed, but if he was being honest, he had no idea. What he knew about you was minimal and it killed him.

You nodded, but it was just out of politeness so as to not argue that he was wrong. 

A few more minutes passed before you inhaled the heaviest breath your lungs could take.

“My sister’s engaged. Rina’s moving to Milan at the end of the summer. My brother travels for a living and I just- I’m not doing anything.”

So that’s what this was about. Max was smart, he could put the pieces together. You talked about your siblings a bit, but you never mentioned your sister getting married before. The way you were looking down at your hand throughout this drive told Max that this late lunch was you meeting your sister so she could announce the good news.

And something as big as that would undoubtedly send someone spiralling, making them question their own life choices, the path they were on. As long as Max has known you, you’ve had the same job, same friends, no partner. 

Your best friend moving was not new either, you had excitedly told Max about her job offer a few weeks back, but maybe it was just sinking in now. Everyone around you was moving onto bigger and better things and you were, as you put it, stuck. 

“I think I need a change of scenery,” you admitted quietly. 

Which was not what Max wanted to hear.

Selfishly, he didn’t want you to leave Monaco. Even though he was the one who was gone so many weeks out of the year for the races, he liked knowing you would always be there when he returned home. That you were just down the hall. 

Before Max could try and talk you out of moving, you reached across the centre console and put your hand over his, the one that rested on the gear stick. This wasn’t the first time you had done this, Max knew you to be a little handsy when you were drinking, but you seemed to be sober this time. 

“I’m sorry for calling you,” you said, even though you really didn’t need to apologise. “I didn’t know who else to call and I just, I needed to breathe.”

Max found comfort in that. 

That he was someone you could clear your head with, that you didn’t need to put on an act around him. In a way, you trusted him. You must have if he was your first call after your sister dropped a bombshell.

When the two of you found your way back to the apartment complex, Max walked you to the door like he always did. Your flushed cheeks had returned to its normal colour. Your eyes no longer looked glossed over. And the smile you gave him seemed genuine.

You unlocked the door and pushed it open and something in Max screamed now or never and before he knew it, he was reaching for your hand to keep you from going inside. He pulled you back to face him and the expression you wore was unreadable. 

Max froze. 

Something that he never did.

He was always calm and collected, always ahead of his thoughts, always knew what to do and when to do it. 

But that was thanks to his training and his training only prepared him for driving at ridiculous speeds and navigating dozens of race tracks and thinking on his feet in tough situations while he sat behind the wheel of an F1 car.

His training didn’t prepare him for how stunned he would feel as he met your eyes, grabbing your attention for the first time outside the safety net of his regular car.

Whatever Max wanted to say, it had now vanished and he had no choice but to rely on the words that he had told you many times before.

“You know you don’t need to apologise for calling me, right?” Max said, his hand falling from yours. 

“I know,” a faint breath of laughter followed your assurance. 

“And for the record-” Max paused. “I don’t think you’re stuck. I think you’re right where you need to be.”

Max’s words stayed with you for the next few days. In fact, they were all you could think about, even when you met Rina Saturday night at your usual spot. She had ordered you a drink, she was a few in herself already and you had barely taken a sip when she brought up the idea of you moving to Milan with her.

You almost spit out the cocktail, “I- what? Move with you? Rina, my job’s here.”

“Yeah but you’re so experienced, I’m sure you could find another one in Milan,” Rina stuck out her lower lip. “I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do without my best friend.”

While you might have contemplated moving a few days ago, you weren’t sure you were really ready to leave Monaco. This was your home, you loved it here. Despite what you said to Max about feeling stuck, his words were burned into your mind.

You weren’t stuck. You had no reason to leave. You wanted to be here. 

You just had a momentary lapse of judgement. 

“I’m not moving, Rina,” you sighed, connecting your hand with hers. “But I’ll visit and you can too. I’m still your best friend, even if we’re in different countries.”

She knew better than to plead her case any more, deciding that spending the night drinking and dancing was more fun than thinking about her upcoming move. 

And before you knew it, the DJ made an announcement for the last call at the bar and you were pulling out your phone to call Max.

“Why don’t you just tell him how you feel?” Rina said, or rather, yelled, as the music was still blaring. She saw his contact on your screen, she saw the way the corner of your lips were pulled upwards when you thought about being with him shortly. 

“Because I don’t feel anything,” you shouted back. It was a lie. A bold faced lie that your friend saw right through but didn’t push you any more on it. 

She walked with you to the curb. Max rolled down the window and waved to her, offering her a ride as well. But Rina denied it, she knew this was your time to be with Max. 

“Get home safe, I love you,” you called out, hand gripping the handle of the passenger side door. Rina blew you a kiss and then you climbed in. 

Max reached into the backseat and grabbed the bottle of water he had tossed there when he left his apartment. He waited until taking a sip before asking if you had a fun night.

“Yeah, Rina asked me to move to Milan with her,” you answered, wiping the corner of your mouth. You looked at Max expectantly, trying to gauge what his answer would be. Surely the man who told you that you were in the right place wasn’t going to encourage you to move.

Max just hummed and put the car into drive. He waited until you were a few minutes away from the club to say anything, as if seeing Rina standing on the sidewalk in the rearview mirror was somehow going to make this conversation harder.

“What did you-” Max stopped himself and chose something else to say, “You’re not moving, though. Right?”

And then you saw it. The way his eyebrows furrowed in concern. The way his hand clenched over the gear lever. The way his jaw tightened as he fought with himself before asking if you were in fact leaving.

Max didn’t want you to go. 

That thought alone made your stomach turn in knots, but not the kind you felt when you were sick. You were most definitely not sick, you could have been floating on cloud 9 when you realised Max wanted you to stay in Monaco.

“Are you kidding?” You retorted, feeling a burst of confidence. Maybe it was the alcohol, but you had been drunk before and never once tried flirting. No time like the present. “Think of how inconvenient it would be for you to drive to Milan every time I go clubbing.”

Max chuckled, his features softening as the lines around his lips made an appearance. God you loved his smile. 

“Oh so you’re staying for my sake? Well that’s- that’s really kind of you. Thank you.”

He stopped at a red light and turned to you. The heavy weight that was lingering on his shoulders when you mentioned moving had disappeared instantly. You weren’t going anywhere. You would still be here when Max returned from his races. You’d be here during the break. You’d be here, calling his phone on those Friday and Saturday nights when you needed a ride home.

“Can I ask you something?” Max spoke quietly, waiting until you nodded before getting something off his mind that had been there since this whole driving arrangement started. “Who do you call when I’m not in Monaco?”

Your smile was soft as the corner of your lips were tugged upwards. Max, if he wanted to, could have convinced himself it was the alcohol that caused you to be all smiley, but he also wanted to believe he had something to do with it. 

Dropping your gaze for a moment, you parted your lips, closed them again, and then took a breath as Max waited for your response.

“Max, I don’t go out when you’re not in Monaco.”

He was thinking he didn’t hear you correctly. Maybe you said you called some guy named Marco. That made more sense. You called a back-up rather than put your evening social life on pause while he was away.

He needed clarification, “What?”

You laughed this time, looking out the windshield. The traffic light was still red, but Max didn’t need to rely on the soft glow of the street light to make out the shade of pink that was climbing up your neck and cheeks.

“I don’t go out clubbing when you’re not in Monaco,” you repeated. He had heard you correctly.

Max wasn’t sure what to think. 

He felt like an idiot, for starters. If he had known you wanted to see him, to spend time with him, he would have put an effort in to join you during your nights out. Or better yet, maybe he would have asked you on a date. 

But he was clueless. He didn’t know that you relied on those calls at the end of the night because you were too shy to actually ask him out like a normal person would. You were too afraid of stepping outside of this pattern you both fell into because what if it didn’t work out?

Now it was all out in the open. The only reason you went out as much as you did when he was home was because you used it as an excuse to call him, to see him. 

The blaring of a horn from the car behind him caused Max to shift gears, quite literally and metaphorically. He took off, having missed the light turn green, and his attention went back to the road. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to look at you, he did. He very much wanted to continue this conversation but he was at a loss for words. 

The silence only grew during the drive back to your building. In the corner of his eye, he could see you shifting in the seat. You kept turning your phone on and off, hoping there would be texts to distract you from this hush that had fallen over the car. You were overthinking everything now, did you say the wrong thing? Would it have been better if you didn’t say anything?

Max too was overthinking everything. Had he misread signs you had tried to give him? Was he now making things worse by not acknowledging what you had said? With each passing second, it became more and more unbearable as you sat in anticipation for what sort of conversation was going to come next.

When Max finally pulled into the parking garage underneath the building, you couldn’t have reached for the door handle faster. You wanted to go inside, to forget you had said anything. God you even debated deleting his number from your phone so you didn’t risk calling him again the next time you went out.

But Max was quick too. 

He knew he had to do something to make up for how painful this car ride was, something that showed you he was on the same page as you, that he too looked forward to the moments he was home just so he could wait for your phone call.

He stepped out of the car when you did, walking around the front instead of heading towards the elevator. You kept your eyes down, planning on just walking right past him, and you would have, had Max not grabbed hold of your hand and pulled you into his body.

His fingers moved from your hand to your waist as his other hand cupped the side of your face and you finally looked at him for the first time since you got into the car. 

Now it was your turn to be at a loss for words, but that didn’t matter anyway. It wasn’t like you had time to say anything before Max took that leap, crossed the line, and pressed his lips to yours. 

And it was everything you had been waiting for. 

Max leaned against the hood of his car as you slid your hand up his shirt, grabbing the thin material as you wasted no time in kissing him back. His mouth was tender and soft as it moved against yours, both of you feeling the same intensity that had been building up for weeks, maybe even months now. 

It took everything in Max to not drag you back into the car and pull you on his lap in the driver's seat, an image that he had painted in his head a while ago. Instead, his grip on your waist just tightened, holding you against his chest the way he had been wanting to for a while now.

Your nose brushed against his when you pulled back, your gaze lingered on his lips before finally darting upwards. 

The parking garage was quiet, there was a low hum that came from the pipes above you. The overhead lights did nothing to set any sort of mood, but you couldn’t imagine a better place to share a first kiss with Max.

You weren’t in the safety of his car, a place that had become so comfortable to you. By waiting until you stepped out, by stopping you from walking to the elevator, Max was showing you that this was something he wanted and he wanted it when the car ride was over. He wanted it before you called him, before you went out for the night, before the weekend even started. 

He relaxed against the hood of his car, both of you sharing similar looks of serenity. There was no more confusion, no more wavering uncertainty. 

His fingers brushed through your hair before bringing your lips to his once more. 

And then there it was, that smile of yours that made getting into his car two in the morning so fucking worth it.

“What are you doing next weekend?” Max asked. He now knew the answer wouldn’t be going out with friends, that was reserved for when he was home.

You shrugged, “I’m not sure, why?”

“Well you said you wanted a change of scenery, right?” Max recalled your conversation from earlier this week. “How about the Netherlands?”

“You want me to come to a race?” You were probably the last person who should be invited to a Grand Prix and Max knew this, he even laughed at your doubtful response. 

“I really do,” he said. 

“I don’t know anything about Formula 1.”

Max rubbed his thumb over your side, the simple gesture was enough to have your body curving against his once more. 

“I have all of next week to give you a crash course,” he pointed out. “If you’re interested.” 

And of course you were. There’s nothing else you wanted more than to spend your evenings with Max, to learn more about his career, to learn about him. When your lips curved upwards into another smile, Max knew you were on board. 

“Okay,” you nodded slightly. “On one condition.”

“Which is?”

“You go out with me the next weekend you’re in Monaco.”

Max dipped his head back and laughed. You rested your hand at the nape of his neck, pulling his face back to yours. 

“I’m serious.”

“I know you are,” he chuckled. “And I will, but we’ll be leaving before last call.”

“That’s fine with me as long as you still take me home,” you pressed your lips together tightly, trying to contain your eagerness for the night that was still far in the future. Max brushed his thumb over your lower lip. He too was thinking ahead. 

Not just to that upcoming weekend, but every weekend after and all of the days inbetween. 

Coming home to Monaco was always something he looked forward to, but now he had even more of a reason to anticipate the breaks between races. You two didn’t have to wait until a Friday evening to see each other anymore. 

He didn’t have to be your first call at the end of the night, but you both knew he still would be, and so much more. 

He’d be your first call when you got home from work and you’d be his when he landed in a new country. You’d be the first person to call him after watching his winning performance of a race and likewise, you’d be the first person he wanted to talk to, the first person he wanted to celebrate with.

There’d be a lot of firsts moving forward, but you didn’t need to wait until last call anymore. 

masterlist here

this was mostly for @tsarinablogs and @estevries

[tip-top-cloud-surfer]

Left at the Altar - Hangman (Part 2)

Pairing: Hangman / (Ex-Girlfriend) Fem!Reader

Word Count: 3.0k

Warnings: Suggestive Content and Dialogue; Implied Nudity and Sex; References to Past Pregnancy Scares and UTIs (But None in the Present); Emotional Angst and Feels in line with Exes to Lovers; Second Person POV ("You"), No Y/N, No Physical Description of Reader (minus being a woman)

This work, all of my other works, and my entire blog are 18+ Only.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

Summary: You and Jake enjoy a night in the honeymoon suite.

A.N. Thank you so much to everyone who interacted with the original part! Hope you enjoy Part 2 as much as you enjoyed Part 1!

And here's Part 1 if you missed it. And here's Part 3 and Epilogue.

Edit: If you want to be tagged, YOU MUST REFERENCE YOUR AGE SOMEWHERE ON YOUR BLOG. This work and my blog are both 18+ Only. You will NOT be tagged if you do not show that you are an adult. Again, Minors DNI. Thanks!

Master List

You laid on your side on the bed, trying to regulate your beating heart.

Your mind was still a little muddled by the afterglow, so you couldn’t help the bashful smile on your face as you snuggled into your pillow. After the two of you cuddled for a few minutes, Jake left your side for the bathroom so that he could clean the both of you up.

Cracking your eyes open, you surveyed the honeymoon suite closer. You didn’t really get a chance to take it in before you were focused on other things. Jake’s dress uniform was laid over one of the extra chairs in the room in mostly pristine condition, save for a few wrinkles. Your wedding dress, on the other hand, was missing a few button clasps and a zipper now.

Not that you minded. You did tell Jake that you didn’t care about what happened to it.

At the sound of footsteps, you opened your eyes fully and smiled softly when Jake walked over with a damp towel. His hair, unlike his uniform, was no longer perfectly styled, though you were sure that your hair was far worse. But his smile never seemed to change from the first moment that he spotted you lying on the bed.

“You know, there’s a nice big bath tub in there,” Jake drawled as he slowly climbed up to join you again. His eyes raked over your form playfully, earning an eye roll from you. “And you look like you need some cleaning up.”

You lightly smacked Jake’s arm for that comment, earning a small chuckle from him. He smirked up at you and settled between your legs. You shook your head at him, but that damned smirk of his just made it too hard to stay mad at him.

“And whose fault is that again?” you asked, spreading your legs so he could clean you up.

“I seem to recall you begging—”

“—I wasn’t begging,” you interjected with a huff.

“Alright, you weren’t begging,” Jake replied, like he didn’t believe his own words. “It was just a series of some very enthusiastic requests.”

“I’d hardly call it a request,” you mused, leaning back against your pillow. “It’s not like you’ve ever said ‘no’ to any of my ‘requests’ before.”

“Not in bed,” Jake agreed quietly with an unspoken added meaning behind his words.

Sobering at the reminder of some of your less than fairytale days together, you sat up on your elbows. Jake continued to focus on cleaning you, either too embarrassed by his own comment to discuss it further or just simply concentrating on the task in front of him. You quietly studied his expression as you tilted your hips up to assist him.

“You should go to the bathroom,” Jake stated after he finished up. “Don’t want you getting a UTI.”

“Again?” you joked, hoping to lighten the mood a bit.

“You were the one who couldn’t keep your hands off of me that night,” Jake reminded you coyly.

“You certainly weren’t complaining,” you replied, swinging your legs around.

Still a little stumbly, you made your way into the bathroom. You finished cleaning yourself up and took a moment to fix your hair. When you were presentable again, you walked over to the bath tub that Jake mentioned. The tub looked like it was meant for a couple, which was fitting for a honeymoon suite, and when you spotted the bubble bath materials, your mind was made up.

You started running the bath and when the temperature was perfect, you plugged the tub to let it fill up. Returning to the bedroom, you spotted Jake laying on his back, looking like some kind of Greek god with the way he was lounging about. You tried to not stare too long at him as you walked over to the small fridge to grab the champagne that you dropped off yesterday.

“Eyes up, Lieutenant,” you stated as you bent over to open the fridge.

“In my defense, no one bends over like that unless they want someone to stare at their ass,” Jake replied, propping his head up on his arm. He smirked to himself as you straightened up with the champagne bottle in your hand. “And I could really get used to you calling me ‘Lieutenant’ when you’re dressed like that.”

You shot Jake a playful glare since all that you were wearing was a smile. Shaking your head at him, you headed back into the bathroom with your champagne bottle and glasses.

“Well, then come take a bath with me . . . Lieutenant,” you added on sultrily with a wink.

Jake slipped into the bathroom behind you about three seconds later. You handed off the bottle to him and turned to the bath to put in the bubbles. Jake popped the champagne and poured a glass for the both of you. Taking your glass with a smile and a quick peck to thank him, you motioned towards the bathtub with an encouraging look.

“You’re bigger.”

“I’d be happy to tell your ex that,” Jake quipped, causing you to shoot him a playful glare.

“Get in the tub, Jake. I’m getting cold.”

Jake slipped into the tub first and held out a hand to help you in as well. Slowly sinking into the heated water, you let out a pleased groan as you felt your tense and sore muscles start to relax. You leaned back against the tub and giggled when Jake reached out to grab your ankle.

“Relax,” he told you, slowly massaging your calf muscle. “Just relax.”

And so, you did. You rested your back against the curved wall of the tub and sipped your champagne while Jake gently massaged your tense muscles. Taking in the moment and the sheer domesticity of it all, you couldn’t help but let your mind drift.

Maybe it was natural to simply fall back into old habits and old thoughts. Especially when one was taking a nice heated bath. It was hard to not go down the thousands of ‘what if’ possibilities when Jake was sitting right there across from you. And the fact that the two of you always seemed to reconnect and fall back together right where you left off the last time didn’t help either.

So, your mind wandered.

What if Jake stayed in Texas and went to college with you, like everyone thought that he would? What if you sucked it up, left Texas, and followed him all around the country? What if one of those pregnancy scares over the years wasn’t just a scare? What if you accepted his proposal?

There were too many ‘what if’ scenarios to count, quite honestly.

“Do you ever wonder what life would have been like if . . .?”

You trailed off, unsure of if you wanted to finish your question or not. It seemed like a good idea at first but when Jake turned to meet your gaze, you couldn’t help but pause. But Jake, because he knew you so well and knew exactly where your mind went, could finish your question on his own.

“A lot,” he replied honestly, trailing his fingers around your knee. “Usually when I’m stuck on a carrier or on a long shift and I just . . . it just happens.”

“I know what you mean,” you agreed softly. You swallowed your emotions for a moment and stared down at the bubbles. “It’s hard not to go there. To go down all those different paths.”

“Which one do you go down most often?”

“What?”

“Which ‘what if’ gets you the most?” Jake asked quietly, rubbing the back of your calf.

You opened your mouth to respond because you knew exactly which ‘what if’ scenario was forever stuck in your mind, but you closed your mouth just as quickly as you opened it. After all, you and Jake had talked about that scenario over and over again.

“The one where I stayed in Texas?” Jake guessed after a moment of silence.

“Yeah,” you practically whispered, nodding slowly. “That one.” Taking a sip of your champagne, you set it aside before leaning in a little closer to Jake. “But now I know that path . . . we would have been worse off than we are now.”

“You’re sure?” Jake questioned, sounding a little surprised.

“Yeah, I am,” you replied confidently, reaching out to trail your fingers down his cheek. Smiling softly to keep your emotions controlled, you rubbed your thumb across his soft skin. “You would have been miserable if you stayed here, Jake. You would have hated it. And I didn’t understand that back then. And I put so much on you because of that, Jake, and I’m sorry.”

“I didn’t even tell you that I wanted to go into the Navy,” Jake returned, nuzzling into your hand. “I was so afraid of my parents somehow finding out and trying to stop me that I didn’t tell you. And then I just dumped it on you after selling you a fantasy of us going to college together and . . . I was ass for doing that to you. For putting you in that position in the first place. And I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have anything to apologize for,” you assured him, sending him a small smile. “We were both only eighteen. We were kids.” Your eyes trailed along his features as a wider smile tugged at your lips. “And you know that I could never stay mad at you for very long anyways.”

“That is a very rare skill,” Jake replied, causing you to chuckle.

With a lovesick expression that looked like it belonged on the poster for a sappy 90s rom com, Jake gently pulled you across the tub. You laughed, but didn’t fight Jake as he pulled you in between his legs. Perching you up on his thigh, Jake quickly wrapped his arms around your waist to keep you nice and close to him.

His lips were on yours in a second and you happily returned the favor. Turning slightly, you straddled him as well as you could in the tub and wrapped your arms around his shoulders to keep the two of you close. Jake’s hands slid down to your ass and gently cupped your cheeks, guiding your hips together. After a moment, you let out a breathy sigh and placed a hand on Jake’s chest to stop him.

“I’m going to need a few more minutes before we get back to that, Lieutenant,” you told Jake honestly, causing him to smirk and nod. He opened his mouth but you quickly pressed your finger to his lips to stop him. “Don’t ruin the moment with a dirty joke. Please.”

“As you wish,” he replied coyly, pressing a kiss to your finger and then your chin.

Settling in his lap once again, you leaned back against his chest. Jake threaded your fingers together and sunk your joined hands back beneath the bubbles to keep the two of you warm. He pressed another kiss to the top of your head, which made you smile.

“What ‘what if’ scenario do you think about most?” you asked Jake quietly, glancing back at him.

“You don’t have a guess?”

“Well, I have a guess,” you corrected yourself, squeezing his hand just a little tighter.

“What’s your guess?”

“Me saying ‘yes’ to your proposal. Back in Pensacola after your flight school graduation,” you replied honestly, keeping your voice low. Jake nodded and pressed another kiss to your hair before resting his chin on top of your head. Staring down at the bubbles in front of you, you let out a breath to keep your emotions steady. “I wanted to say ‘yes’ but . . .”

“If you married me back then, we probably would be divorced or separated or we would absolutely hate each other by this point,” Jake stated bluntly and without a smidge of doubt. “You weren’t ready to leave Texas and I would have pushed you too far moving around as often as I did.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” you agreed quietly.

“I didn’t mean that as a bad thing,” Jake quickly added, causing you to look up and meet his gaze again. “It means that you’re steady. Hell, you kept me grounded so many times over the years that I probably couldn’t even begin to count.”

“Well, you’ve always been a dreamer and never one to let anyone stop you,” you returned softly, trailing your free fingers down his chest. Smiling softly to yourself, you leaned back against Jake. “I can’t tell you how many adventures that I would have been too scared to go on without you encouraging me or holding my hand through it.”  

“Even after the Ferris wheel incident?”

“Even after the Ferris wheel incident,” you echoed with a light chuckle.

“You know, I can’t tell you how much trouble I would have gotten into without you to pull me back down,” Jake replied honestly. “Especially in high school. I didn’t make the best decisions and you were always right there to tell me when I was being an idiot.”

“Don’t forget about that mouth of yours,” you reminded him, earning a deep chuckle in return. “Still saying every thought that comes into your brain?”

“Somewhat.”

“So, that’s a ‘yes’,” you drawled playfully.

“Maybe.”

The two of you shared a laugh and the last bit of heat in your bubble bath. But eventually, the water grew a bit cold and not even Jake’s space heater qualities could keep you warm. So, you drained the tub and quickly showered off the bubble bath residue. But toweling each other off afterwards quickly got your hands wandering all over again.

The last rays of the sun had completely disappeared, bathing the bedroom in darkness. Jake gently backed you up against the bed as your lips met in another rather desperate embrace. With a gentle nudge, you fell back against the soft sheets and smiled up at Jake as he crawled on top.

You cupped his cheeks with your hands, focusing on the kiss and the feel of his body draped over your own and not the impending deadline. About the fact that Jake had to leave. He had a life back in Miramar to get back to and you still had to deal with the fallout of your wedding day.

Your little bubble wasn’t going to last for much longer, so you were going to soak it up while you could.

“I don’t want you to go,” you whispered quietly, resting your forehead against Jake’s own.

“I don’t want to go,” he returned just as softly. Stealing another kiss from your lips, Jake pressed a series of kisses around your face. “I don’t want to leave you.”

Fighting a wave of tears that you were not prepared to deal with, you simply nodded and pulled Jake’s lips back to your own. You nudged him to roll over and he did so without complaint. Stradling him, you took a moment to memorize his heartbeat beneath your fingers and the way that his green eyes caught the dim lighting. You let out a quiet amused noise to avoid bursting out into tears.

“Is it crazy to tell you that I love you after the day that I just had?” you asked him as your lips wobbled between a smile and a shaky line.

“No,” Jake replied quietly, gently grabbing your hips, “because I know that I’ve never stopped.”

Nodding slowly as another wave of emotions hit you, you leaned down to press a kiss to Jake’s lips. You needed a distraction and something to focus on. And Jake was intent upon giving you that.

After all was said and done, you rested your head against his chest and wrapped your arm around his waist. Even though you tried to fight it, sleep was definitely calling your name. You had been up since the ass crack of dawn preparing for your wedding and then the events of the day definitely took their own toll on you.

“You can go to sleep,” Jake assured you, pressing a kiss to your head.

“You won’t be here when I wake up,” you argued back.

“I know,” Jake replied, rubbing circles into your hip. “But that way, we don’t have to say ‘goodbye’.”

“I hate both of those options,” you sniffled, looking up at Jake through your eyelashes.

“I hate them too,” he agreed quietly.

Biting your bottom lip to try and keep a rein on your teetering emotions, you simply snuggled up into Jake’s side more. You let out a shaky breath to calm yourself down and took a moment to collect yourself. But all of that seemed to be useless when you opened your mouth.

“When is it going to be our time, Jake?” you whimpered out.

“I wish that I knew,” he stated with his voice breaking at the end. “It would make this a lot easier.”

And because neither of you could emotionally handle having that conversation right then and there, you simply held each other while you still could. Between the beat of Jake’s heart and the warmth of him and the blanket and your own emotional exhaustion, it didn’t take much else to pull you to sleep. The last thing that you recognized was Jake’s lips against your forehead and then you fell asleep.

~~~~~

You woke up to a thin ray of sunlight shining into your eyes. Blinking awake, you rolled over in your bed sleepily. You rubbed your eyes and let out a yawn but sobered when you noticed a change in the room. Sitting up in bed, you noted Jake’s missing uniform and bag.

They were gone. He was gone. Back to Miramar and away from you.

Holding your head in your hands, you let out a quiet sob.

Part 1 Part 3 Epilogue

A.N. If you want to be tagged in Part 3, reply or reblog this work with a comment about being tagged and I'll note it. Edit: If you want to be tagged, YOU MUST REFERENCE YOUR AGE SOMEWHERE ON YOUR BLOG. This work and my blog are both 18+ Only. You will NOT be tagged if you do not show that you are an adult. Again, Minors DNI. Thanks!

Tags: @djs8891 @avengers-fixation @dreamsofouterspace

[kivino]

Platonic!Task Force 141 x Eastern European!Reader

Word Counter – ~1.9k

Summary – a compilation of headcanons about how reader’s Eastern European background would affect interactions with Task Force 141 during an undercover mission together.

Tags/Warnings – Gn!reader, Eastern European!reader (obviously), Platonic!TF141, fluff, mostly.

A/n – RUSSIANS DNI (this is a personal boundary, so I ask you to respect it, if you don’t like it just scroll past this post). Very self-indulgent. Just showing more love to my fellow Eastern European readers. Since it is mostly based on my own experience growing up as a Ukrainian, I’m sorry if certain things don’t resonate with you! This whole thing was made for fun and fun only.

So, let’s assume our beloved Task Force needs to go undercover to get some information on Makarov and his merry band of goons. Obviously, they can’t do it without at least one team member, who is familiar with the way of living in Eastern Europe. So, naturally, Laswell introduces you to them – born and raised there, ready to help them and stop your sworn enemy from escalating an already pretty shitty situation.

“So, allow me to introduce your new team member for the duration of this mission” Laswell nods to the door when you walk in, saying your name and callsign, already catching some looks full of curiosity from Task Force 141.

First thing they noticed about you? Resting bitch face for days. Who needs a mask when you have a death stare that will give the heebie-jeebies to most if not all of your teammates? However, they feel even more taken aback when you suddenly greet them with a warm, welcoming smile and a firm handshake, not a trace of that sour expression on your face.

One would think that you’d spend hours preparing four of them for the mission by teaching them language, helping to memorize names and faces of contacts, Makarov’s trusted allies, and potential targets. Naturally, you did your job, but those precious hours were also spent with you standing next to a whiteboard, ranting about the politics and societal issues of your country, explaining certain national jokes, and teaching them swear words or poetry you studied at school. But hey, they’re not complaining (maybe a little).  

They were skeptical about this whole deal at first. However, there was a shared understanding between the four of them that they needed to do whatever it took to stop the spreading of Makarov’s influence and diminish his resources in other countries. With time, however, they’ve found things that made their life in a completely new environment a bit more enjoyable and interesting.

Soap would pick up on your native language the fastest out of the Task Force. Under all these jokes and goofiness Johnny’s a smart guy, inquisitive as hell too, which makes a pretty good mix. He’d try to write down how you pronounce things in his sketchbook, dedicating pages upon pages to making a small vocabulary of what you say, searching up the translations of words any chance he gets. Convinces himself that it just helps him to get more into his new way of life, and not at all because he likes seeing you all excited when he slips a word in your language somewhere in the conversation.

“So how do you say it?” he points to the sentence, messily scribbled on the page with the ballpoint pen he slipped from Gaz. There is a slight frown between your brows – the word looks unfamiliar, more like gibberish than something in your language. You can practically feel the gears in your head screech and come to a halt as you drill Soap’s handwriting with your eyes.

“Oh, wait. You made a mistake here. No wonder I have no idea what this is.” You quickly take the pen and scratch the right version of the word on the paper, while Johnny chuckles at your brutal honesty. He doesn’t say anything though. Some time passes and you’re already correcting other words he wrote down, explaining the right way to say them. And you can feel a pleasant warmth spread in your chest when you can see Soap’s utmost attention directed at you.

Johnny can’t help but feel that moments like these were somewhat of a way to bond for you two. He’d jokingly offer to give you some Scottish classes each time you playfully flick him on the forehead for a word he pronounced wrong. He never expected you to take him up on the offer until the five of you got stuck in a countryside safehouse and essentially had nothing to do while waiting.

On the topic of Eastern European countryside, Price is not an old man by any measure, man’s not even forty yet, but it would grow so massively on him that it’s concerning. When you finally got a good, reliable contact that gave you some useful information you had to lay low for some time in a safe house not far from one of many Makarov’s places where the next weapon deal would be held. And while you waited several days for his people to show up there, obviously almost all of you were bored out of your minds. Not Price though. The man went exploring. Of course, taking you with him (he only wanted company on his small journey through the cozy countryside, don’t blame him).

Soon enough, during your walk you two come across the abundance of berry bushes and fruit trees everywhere, and while you pick something to munch on from them constantly, Price only scolds you. You smirk in response, giving him a handful of ripe mulberries, your lips and fingers now a dark red color from the juice.  

“It’s going to rot if nobody eats it. People who plant these trees would rather someone enjoy them instead of fruits just falling on the ground, getting squished, and going to waste.” And Price takes note of that with a small smile. Soon enough the two of you find a spring the whole village uses, a willow standing tall beside it, providing shade for you two to rest, chat a bit, and cool yourself off with fresh water. The fact that there are not many people around also doesn’t miss him. It’s quiet and peaceful, Price finally feels like he has room to breathe with his whole chest.

“You know, I could get used to a life like this.” Price finally mutters, enjoying your simple, comforting presence, walking along the river shore, and hearing the distant sounds of a train passing through the village. You look at him with understanding in your eyes, as you see the tension in his shoulders finally slipping away. Your captain relaxes, which is a pleasant change of pace from the frown on his face that you got used to.  

All five of you had to live in the same apartment in an old panel building closer to the edge of town. Not the best place to live, but a good opportunity to blend in with the locals and find leads on Makarov’s criminal “friends”. More than once you’ve found yourself sitting together with Ghost on the balcony that creaked with each blow of the wind, in complete silence while he was smoking some cheap cigarettes that smelled more like burnt paper instead of tobacco.

“Can I join you?” Your voice is a quiet rasp, as you lean against the doorway, pushing the mosquito netting to the side. You couldn’t sleep. Not when the whole world will go down the drain if you fail your mission. Not when it’s been a month already and it felt like you were still right where you started.

“Knock yourself out” the man shrugs, patting the stool near him. You shuffle your bare feet on the newspapers that were laid out on the balcony floor, plopping down on the seat, your eyes immediately getting glued to the view, enjoying the breeze that seeped through the open window. You two sit in silence for so long, but it doesn’t feel awkward, quite on the contrary – weirdly calming and serene.

After that night these nightly smoke breaks became a sort of tradition for you two, a way to wind down after a long day. Ghost would nod towards the balcony, a silent invitation reserved only for you. Regardless of whether you’re a smoker or not, occasionally he would offer you a cigarette from his pack or a hit from the lit one. A gesture of camaraderie.

“Thought you’d be more talkative.” Ghost’s voice sounds gruff after the whole day working your asses off just to discover the lead that you had was absolute bullshit.

“And I thought you weren’t a type for small talk.” You grumble in return, just as annoyed about coming back to this dingy apartment with nothing.

“That I am” He lets out a low chuckle, flicking his cigarette into an ashtray in his hand, avoiding eye contact with you.  

Kyle found himself liking your cooking above everything else. The way he would eat anything thrown together in a hurry by you was quite flattering. So soon enough you offered to teach him how to make some of your favorite national dishes, and he couldn’t say no to your offer. So, you decided to start easy – picking out the fresh ingredients. And where do you go to do that? Not a grocery store, no way in hell. The market filled with tons of people is the place you need. A lot cheaper than your usual supermarket too.

The number of times you got discounts for fruits and vegetables on the market from older women just for Gaz’s pretty eyes was insane. He would just blink at you with confusion written all over his face anytime you glanced at him with that smile and refused to explain why you spent a lot less money than expected on the fresh vegetables. At some point, Gaz even questioned his ability to count before you told him just not to worry about it since you got a “very special bargain”. And, obviously, Kyle was the one carrying the plastic bags filled to the brim with fresh produce.  

“You know, your version of the dish is not half-bad,” You say, licking the spoon and giving Gaz a wide smile, which he immediately returns to you tenfold. Spending time like this with him was a pleasure. Each minute spent together made you loathe even thinking about the time when you’d have to part ways and you won’t be able to teach him your cultural cuisine like this anymore.

“Well, I have a great teacher to thank for that.” Gaz gives you a charming smile, so glad to finally have a distraction from the constant looming presence of Makarov in his thoughts. Right this moment he caught himself thinking that he was happy they had you here with them. It would be a lot harder if not for you supporting and guiding them through everything. He felt…thankful.

You’d bring the whole Task Force to different cafes that serve your country's most famous dishes, but Kyle would be the one to enjoy these outings the most, barely raising his eyes from the plate to participate in the conversation.

“Wow, are you in a hurry or something? The food won’t run away from you.” You chuckle, while Kyle ignores the odd saying coming from you and continues to eat with the huge appetite he had ever since this undercover mission started.

However, nothing lasts forever, so after finishing their business with you, getting all the information they needed, and “cleaning up the mess” Task Force 141 bids you farewell, returning to their usual duties. Saying goodbye is never easy, even if you knew each other just for several months you still got attached to them, just like they grew very fond of you (as much as some of them hated to admit that). But hey, they promised to visit you after they finish up with Makarov. They promised. And the four of them keep the promises they make.

taglist - @mockerycrow @stridersdiner

check out my masterlist for more fics or send me a request!

[oleander-nin]

Yandere ROTTMNT Vampire Headcanons

A/N, not important: I am so sorry this is so late. I haven't been doing very well lately. I have one more vampire thing in the works, and I'm also going to start getting as many of my requests done as possible. Feel free to ask questions if you need clarification or want a certain thing answered. Any criticism is welcome, constructive or not. This is supposed to be a gender neutral reader, so if I screwed up somewhere, please tell me.

-Ollie

CW: Food insecurity, withholding of food, vampires, bites, dark themes, violence, yandere

Words: 1696

Summary: Yandere ROTTMNT Vampire Headcanons

Tag list: @f1oricide @itsyagurlchip @lordfreg @acutiewithagun @rottmnttmnt2012 @lixnininotnay

Michelangelo:

Mikey tries to hide it from you for a while, mostly because he doesn’t want you to be aware of his added abilities. He thinks it’s just funny now when you try to plot an escape or fight back, since now you really have no chance. Most likely, you never even realized he was a vampire until he first sinks his fangs in your wrist.

He thinks biting you is like, subtly romantic since you’re more or less blessing him with your blood. You’re allowing him to live off your own life, and it just pulls him further into his delusions of love. Obviously you’d fight back harder if you truly hated him. I mean, so far, he only has to chain you down!

Mikey will constantly talk about your future with him. Now that he’s going to live forever, he knows he actually means it when he says he’s never leaving your side. He’ll track down the original mutant to get them to infect you, ensuring that you’ll be with him until the sun goes out. He’s absolutely giddy at the thought, updating you every day on his hunt for the mutant until he finds them.

Before he can infect you, he’s even clingier than before. His skin always feels cold now, so he’s drawn to your natural warmth and just likes to be near you.

Watches you sleep a lot as he lays with you. Now that he can see in the dark, he doesn’t want to waste a single moment where he could be admiring you.

Once he finally turns you, he’s ecstatic. His only grief is that he can’t feed from you any more, but he’s plenty happy with the certainty you’ll never be able to leave him.

If you complain about being turned, he’ll get upset. He did this for you! He ensured both of you would be together forever more, and now you’re being ungrateful. He’ll pout for a while, trying to convince you of all the ways your life is better now.

He’ll withhold blood from you if you misbehave. Because you obviously can’t hunt yourself, you rely on Mikey to get you your food. If he thinks you’re being unfair, or aren’t listening, he’ll conveniently ‘forget’ to get enough food to feed you as well.

He gets surprised when you fight back more after being turned, your enhanced strength and speed making him question his choice for a small while. He doesn’t like that you have a better chance of leaving now. He obviously wins, but he’s afraid he’ll slip up and you’ll get away. He keeps you chained tighter for a while, at least until you’ve calmed down. No matter how long that takes.

Donatello:

He doesn’t tell you of his new infection, but he doesn’t hide it either. It’s just another mutation to him, one that’s more beneficial in a lot of ways once he realizes how much more he can do. He doesn’t really see why he should tell you, especially when you’re fighting him at every turn anyways. You’ll probably find out after seeing him storing blood bags in the fridge in his lab, which causes you to freak out.

Once you’re aware he’s a vampire, he’ll start feeding off you more since he finds it more convenient than going out. He likes holding you and just sinking his teeth into your shoulder while he works. It keeps you both still and close, and it prevents him from having to find his own food. He claims the prolonged contact helps you both bond whenever you try to fight him.

Donnie is obsessed with getting you infected as well. He’s terrified of losing you somehow now that he knows he doesn’t ever have to. He’ll hunt down the original mutant to get you bit, not even telling you of his plan until you’re already bit. He doesn’t want to give you a chance to try something stupid before he’s able to secure your place by his side, even if he knows he won’t be able to feed on you anymore.

He has two new punishments for you now that you joined him in the undead. While he isn’t afraid to withhold blood from you for misbehaving, he’s more likely to either force feed you normal food, which tastes awful and can make you nauseous, or he’ll only give you human blood. Both options leave you paranoid with the blood/food he gives you. If you ever try to refuse what he gives you, he’s not afraid to force it down your throat himself.

Threatens to give you blood from your family or friends if you continue to try and cause problems. While he wouldn’t ever really want to actually give you blood from a loved one, he’s not above lying and telling you the blood you're drinking is from them.

The new strength and speed you gain from being turned makes Donnie paranoid. Theoretically, you now have a better chance at escaping. To negate this problem, Donnie makes you wrist and ankle weights to slow you down. At least, until you give him a reason to slow you down permanently.

Raphael:

Raph only feeds off you when he’s too tired to go find his own food. He’s paranoid he’ll drain you, even when his brothers insist it’s impossible. He doesn’t see a reason to feed off you when he has a supply of animal blood at the ready. The difference in taste isn’t a big thing to him, and he doesn’t mind having to find his own food while he’s out. The sewers have plenty of small critters living around.

He’s terrified of hurting you. Raph knows he’s strong, and he’s not always the most sure footed because of his large size. When he accidentally hurt you before, he would coddle you for weeks, but now that he’s nearly twice as strong normally? He knows he’s going to have a lot of accidents, so he practically babies you until he’s adjusted to his new strength. He doesn’t care how suffocating you say he’s being, he refuses to let you be hurt when you don’t need to be.

Waits till you're older to turn you. He wants you to stay human for as long as possible. While he knows turning you would be beneficial as you’d be less likely to get hurt, he doesn’t like the idea of taking your humanity until he has to. Refuses to argue about turning you when he finally does. He mentions it once and doesn’t care how much you protest. He’s let you stay human for years longer than needed. You should be thanking him in his eyes.

Likes to hold you a lot more. He’ll keep you in his arms as he moves from room to room, or be cuddling you whenever you’re both alone. Having you with him forever makes him so happy, and he doesn’t want any time to go by without you feeling loved, or how he perceives loving you anyways.

Hates you when leave his sight. Now that you’re faster and stronger, he’s afraid you’ll do something stupid and try to run. He sees keeping you near him as him protecting you from yourself.

Doesn’t let up on his protective behavior, even though you’re now tougher. He’s not taking any chances with you and your safety. Any plea to leave and go outside is instantly shut down. You’re no longer human, you don’t need to go up top anymore. Your place is with him, forever.

Leonardo:

He doesn’t tell you until he feels it’ll help him. He likes having the extra strength you won’t know about, at least until telling you benefits him. If you’re throwing a fit or have refused to talk to him for a while, he’ll flash his fangs and threaten to drain you until you pass out. After you know, he’ll constantly remind you of his heightened senses and strength. He doesn’t want you to forget how hard it will be to ever leave his side.

Is always a bit worried he’ll get too rough with you and hurt you more than he means to. His upgraded strength makes him more confident, but he doesn’t always remember how much strength he gained. Even as he teases you, he’s hesitant to actually try and mess with you in case he goes too far.

Dry bites a lot. He likes just sinking his fangs in your shoulder while he holds you close, liking the fact you’ll have the imprint of his teeth in your skin for a while. He doesn’t like to feed from you, since it makes him feel like a parasite, but he likes to see the faces you make when he touches the holes his teeth made in your skin.

Waits a while to turn you, mostly because he knows you’ll be able to run faster if you ever do get away. Before he turns you, he’ll start keeping you locked away more. He’ll have you turned while you’re asleep so you don’t even know what happened. In Leo’s opinion, the less you know about this, the better.

He’s ecstatic now that you’re going to be by his side forever. His worst nightmare was losing you, and now he’ll never have to worry about that again. You don’t have to worry about most diseases, death, or being alone now that you have him. Leo treats turning you like a huge favor, ignoring the fact he knows you never wanted it. He plays off hiding it like it was a surprise.

Pretty much solely feeds you animal blood at first, only giving you human if he feels you’re acting out too much. He doesn’t tell you of the change, but he knows it tastes different, and you do too. He doesn’t want to mess with your food too much, since blood is now the only thing you can consume.

If you ever do escape, he’ll probably go straight to an extreme now. You’re stronger, and you're more agile due to the mutation, which makes you harder to contain. He’s not willing to lose you, even if it means hurting you.

[thefallennightmare]

Just Pretend-nine

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader

Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut, star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse.

Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.

Authors Note: PLEASE, we are begging you guys. Take your time with this one, so many different emotions throughout. Its a big fucking deal and read it slow, immerse yourself in this world while listening to the playlist. Enjoy my lovelies. 😉

Collaborating With: @thescarlettvvitch(better give her all the love as well)

Tags: @thescarlettvvitch @ozwriterchick @waake-meee-up @notingridslurkaccount @niicoleleigh @sammyjoeee @xxrainstorm @dominuslunae @notmaddihealy @malice-ov-mercy @crimson-calligraphyx @iknownothingpeople @writethrough @thebadchic @blackveilomens Claudia on Tumblr @tobe-written @blacksoul-27 @loeytuan98 @loverofagoodbeard @comfortcharactercraze @lma1986 @plutonikchaos1 @spicywhenspeaking @lyschko666 @somewhere-diamond

NOAH

"I'm so fucking glad we're staying in a hotel the next few days," Folio groaned as we walked down the long hallway of the hotel.

I nodded in agreement. "I can't believe the tour is almost over; our last show is tomorrow night."

With our last show tomorrow night, we were spending the next few nights in a hotel and we all planned to take flights back home so we could get there faster. Hollow Souls were also staying in this hotel but they were a floor beneath us but it seemed the farther I went from Y/N, those imaginary pull strings inside of my heart tightened. If it hurt this bad when she was a floor underneath, how bad would it hurt when she was a state away?

As far as I knew, she still had plans to go back to Vegas because that's where her home was, granted it was with Trey. There wasn't a part of me that was worried she would go back to him; I knew she wouldn't. Ever since they fired him, Hollow Souls has been thriving. They posted on their social media pages that Trey was kicked out of the band due to personal reasons and while most of their fans complained about them kicking out their main vocalist, there was a select few that were excited to see what the future of Hollow Souls looked like.

Y/N was upset at first that so many of their fans were boycotting them now because they decided to kick Trey out.

"Seems like they only care about Trey's vocals when I'm the one that actually wrote our songs."

It took a while of Malcolm and Chase talking to her to realize that their future together as a band was looking bright. They could reinvent themselves.

I filled in for the last two shows but after playing my set for thirty minutes before their hour-and-a-half set, my voice was getting raw and sore so Matt thought it be best if I didn't fill in for the last show. I was going to argue, not wanting to let them down, but Chase reassured me they'd figure out what to do for the last show.

Y/N has been glowing since Trey left, slowly becoming a better woman in front of all of us; to me, she'd always been perfect. But we could all see her confidence growing. With her face in the dirt far too many times with Trey, she finally said enough; it doesn't hurt anymore. As all of his lies crumbled down, Y/N found a new life.

To say all of us were proud of her was a fucking understatement.

"Hey," Jolly bumped shoulders with mine, pulling me from my thoughts as we stopped in front of the door to his room. "Bryan wants us ready to go in twenty minutes."

Oh, right.

We were currently in Oregon and Bryan planned some time today on our off day to visit one of the national parks here to take some promo photos of us.

"Yeah, I'll be ready to go. I need to change quickly and I'll meet you guys down in the lobby," I said as I walked down a few more doors until I stopped in front of my room; the one I was sharing with Nick.

He patted my shoulder as he walked past me into the room. "You should ask if Y/N wants to come with."

I shrugged off his words, trying not to make it seem that I'd been tossing around the idea for the last hour when Bryan first told us about his plan.

"She might have plans with Chase and Malcolm," I said while tossing my suitcase onto the bed, quickly rifling through the clothes to find something to change into.

"She doesn't. Last I heard, Chase and Malcolm are going out tonight so Y/N will be alone," Nick raised a suggestive brow.

With a long sigh, I turned to face him. "You already planned this, didn't you?"

"It was Chase's idea," he answered.

Rolling my eyes, I pulled out my phone to send a text to Y/N.

Get dressed, I'll be by your room in fifteen minutes.

She responded quickly before I had the chance to set my phone down.

Care to tell me where we're going?

All you need to know is to dress warm, angel.

You're full of surprises. See you soon, mochi. Room 245.

"Mochi?" I chuckled to myself while pocking my phone.

With a smile playing at my lips and my heart pounding loudly in my heart at the nickname, I tossed on a fresh hoodie and my tan jacket, opting to leave my hair down. Nick finished getting dressed when I did and once we stepped out in the hallway, Jolly and Folio were already waiting for us right outside our door.

"Fuck," I cursed while clutching my chest. "You scared the shit out of me, Folio."

"Too busy thinking about Y/N, huh?" He gave a playful smile.

Shoving him on the shoulder, I mentioned we needed to stop by her room before heading down to the lobby.

Jolly adjusted the guitar bag on his back. "She's coming with?"

I hesitantly nodded. "Is that alright? Nick said she was alone, and I felt bad if we left her while we did something."

They all smirked at my rambling as we took the stairs down one floor, our footsteps echoing in the small confined space.

"Of course it is, we don't mind when she tags along," Jolly said.

Coming to a stop in front of door 245, I gently rapped my knuckles against it and waited for her petite voice to carry through the wood. It was silent for a few moments, nerves ate away at my stomach as I wondered why she wasn't answering yet.

I knocked once again, this time with a bit more force, and breathed a little when a loud curse sounded from the other side.

"Hang on, someone's at the door."

I looked over to Nick with a raised brow, and he merely shrugged. "Chase and Malcolm are gone so I don't know who she's talking to."

The door opened with a quick brush of air, and my heart skipped a beat at the sight in front of me. Y/N was dressed in a pair of black tights, and a deep orange sweater that rested to the middle of her thighs, and her hair was pulled back in a high ponytail. I had to resist the urge to wrap my fingers through it to pull her back to me as she turned back into the room.

"Give me two minutes, I have to get my shoes," She said while clutching her phone to her ear. "No, Dad. Not you. I've got plenty of time to talk."

While the rest of the guys hung out in the hallway, I leaned against the wall right next to her bed and watched her as she slipped on her typical Doc Martin, nodding every so often to something her dad was saying on the other end of the phone.

"Dad, you seem to forget that you're seventeen hours ahead of me right now," she laughed causing my heart to flutter. "It's only noon here. Wait, why are you calling me so early? Isn't it your day off?"

She paced around the room looking for something and realizing what it was; I grabbed her bag and slung it over my shoulder. "I got it."

Y/N smiled her thanks before the conversation with her dad took her attention again. "No, I haven't talked to Mom in a while…. well, the last time she tried to guilt trip me into staying with her when the tour was over…I'm not staying at Trey's place anymore. We broke up.…..yea, long time coming, tell me about it….I'm sure I'll figure it out but I'm not staying in Vegas anymore…..hell yes I'm keeping Salem; asshole doesn't do shit for my cat."

I couldn't ignore the way my stomach flipped hearing that she didn't plan on staying in the same state as Trey.

"I can't move in with Malcolm or Chase because they're actually finding their own place together…Dad, they're dating; have been for the last six months…Yeah, that will explain exactly why Chase and I never got together."

I chuckled as I thought of her dad trying to set up her and Chase.

"You saw videos from the show last night?" There was a clear shock in her voice as she continued to talk with her dad as she rushed around the room getting ready.

"I'm surprised because you don't even know how to work face time," she giggled. "Oh, he's a friend of ours. We've been touring with his band for the last few weeks. Yeah, he filled in the last couple of shows….you think so? That's what everyone is saying online."

Her gaze flicked up to mine as her lips parted slightly, whatever her dad said made her give a long pause.

"Just a friend, dad." Then she turned swiftly on her heels away from me to whisper something low into the phone.

"I'm sorry," she mouthed to me with a pulled expression as she looked over her shoulder..

I waved her off. "Take your time."

"Dad, you know I miss you but I can't move to Japan; not now. But yes, I promise to visit you as soon as I can."

Eventually, after another minute, she said goodbye before hanging up with an audible groan. "Don't get me wrong, I love my dad but sometimes he forgets we talk almost every other day. He wants a play-by-play of my life every time."

"He wants you to visit?" I questioned.

She nodded while slipping into a jacket. "Yeah but its hard to find time. You need more than a weekend to visit Japan; there's so much to do."

"Yeah," I pushed her hand away when she went to reach for her bag. "I've got it."

"Noah, you don't have to carry my bag," she chuckled.

I shrugged. "I don't mind. Ready?"

"Yep," she smiled that heart-stopping smile.

When she walked past me towards the open door, my fingers grazed the inside of her wrist to stop her.

"Mochi?" I asked.

"Yes," she responded immediately. "Because you're the sweetest and your tummy is soft."

She poked her finger into my stomach before letting out a loud shriek of laughter as I wrapped an arm around her shoulders to bring her into my embrace, the both of us walking to the doorway where the guys were waiting.

"Malcolm and Chase are going to meet us once they're finished with their date," Y/N said.

"I'll text them the address," Nick said while pulling out his phone.

"Where are we headed?"

"The mountains," Folio answered with a smile.

"Ooh," she slipped out of my embrace, much to my dismay, to rummage around her suitcase for a book before she came back to me, lifting my arm and throwing it over her shoulder once again. "Now I'm ready."

Resisting the urge to press a kiss to her forehead, I set my sunglasses over my eyes and pulled her along with me as she let the door close behind us and ignored the smug look Nick threw my way as we walked past him; Y/N wrapping an arm around my back.

NOAH

"Can you believe how many people are calling for us to collaborate? It's all over Twitter," Nick said while browsing on his phone.

"Shit, really?" Y/N peered over from the back seat so she could gaze down at Nick's phone, who sat in front of her.

I was driving the van to the location that Bryan chose for our photo shoot but Folio called shotgun before she could which earned a cute little pout on her lips; lips that I wanted so bad to taste once again. So she sat in the far back with Jolly while Nick and Bryan sat in the middle. It was weird not having Chase or Malcolm with us since we did everything together on our off days.

"What are they saying?" I wondered while keeping my eyes on the road.

"Fans want you to feature on Hollow Souls next album," Y/N grinned as our eyes locked in the rearview mirror for a few seconds.

I hummed while pulling the van to a stop at the park's entrance. "I'm around whenever you need me, angel."

Once we all piled out, I met Jolly and Bryan at the back of the van to help them unload the equipment while Y/N chatted quietly with both of the Nicks, and out of the corner of my eye; I marveled at how goddess-like she looked with the afternoon sun casting her with her own aura glow. Jolly caught me staring because he smacked my chest before handing me the guitar he brought.

"You could ask her out, ya know," Bryan smirked.

I snapped my gaze over to him. "I can't."

"Why not? It's clear she feels the same since she's here right now," he said.

A long sigh fell from my lips as I ran a hand over my face. "It's not that easy, guys."

Bryan rolled his eyes and then hung his camera from his neck. "I mean you've already kissed, how much easier could things be between you two?"

"You told him?" I seethed at Jolly, who held up his hands.

"I didn't say anything. You two give it away with all the romantic googly-eye shit," he chuckled while he and Bryan began walking up the long trail toward the top of the mountain where we planned on taking the pictures.

"Hey," Y/N smiled as she bounded up next to me. "Little photo shoot?"

Immediately the scowl that followed Byran and Jolly turned into a warm smile, matching Y/N's, and I nodded. We began walking step in step, hands brushing against each other every so often, and I nearly linked fingers with her more than once. However, when we reached some rocky terrain while walking up a hill, Y/N cursed herself for not wearing smarter shoes.

"Here," I bent low in front of her and patted to my back.

"No, you're not carrying me," she tried to laugh it off, but I knew she was nervous about me carrying her weight on my back.

"Angel."

I peered over my shoulder in time to see her place her hands low on her hips.

"Mochi," she teased back with a small smirk.

My heart skipped a long beat at hearing the nickname again. It sounded so fucking sweet falling from her lips; almost as much as my actual name sounded.

"We can do this the easy way or the hard way," I said, still bent low at my knees.

Y/N pulled at the bottom of her sweater dress. "I don't want to give these bozos a show."

She threw a thumb over her shoulder towards both Nick's who walked a few paces behind her. I rose to my knees and gave her a suggestive smirk while closing the distance between us.

"What color are they?"

"Uh," Y/N stammered but quickly recovered. "A cute olive green. Looks great against my skin tone."

A low noise vibrated in the back of my throat and I stood straighter as Folio walked passed just in time to feel the growing sexual tension.

"Either you hop on his back or I will," he joked as he and Nick walked passed us.

She stared up at me and slowly licked her lips, an action I watched carefully through my sunglasses. "Noah?"

"Yes, angel?"

"You have a cute nose," her voice was quiet, and I thought I misheard her.

I titled my head to the side. "My nose?"

"Yeah. It's just the perfect size for your facial structure," she finished with a boop to my nose.

I scrunched up my face. "Did-did you just boop my nose?"

"See!" She pointed to my face. "You look so fucking cute; it's insane."

"Angel, literally," I breathed a low chuckle.

"Mochi, literally," she mocked while sticking her tongue out.

My fingers itched to grab it but Bryan's loud voice echoed through the trees from far ahead. "Let's go you losers! You're holding us up."

I swear to-.

"What will it be, angel?" I asked.

Y/N dramatically sighed before motioning for me to spin around, which I did with a quick wink.

"If you drop me, I swear to Hades," She grumbled while adjusting her dress.

The warmth radiated from her in giant waves as her legs wrapped around my sides and I hooked my arms underneath her thighs to hoist her up.

"I swear to Hades that I will not drop you," I promised while walking up the steep hill towards the rest of the guys. "Do you actually pray to the Greek Gods?"

She flicked my ear. "No, silly. I just like to joke around with them. They're my favorite mythology."

"Will you teach me about them?

"I'm honored you asked; I'd love to," she ran her fingers through my long hair and I briefly let my eyes flutter shut at the calming feeling.

"Only if you let me braid your hair."

My eyes snapped open. "Uh, we'll see about that."

She flicked my ear again. "You're no fun."

Hooking her tighter against me, I closed the distance between us and the guys in a few long strides. Nick gave the two of us a look as I set Y/N down gently on her feet, she quickly pulling down her dress.

"You didn't see shit," she pointed a firm finger to all of us.

"Nope."

"Nothing."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Bryan held up his camera and snapped a few pictures of Y/N; who in return, flipped him the finger.

I watched with a racing heart as she messed around with the guys, almost as if she'd been part of our little group for years.

"Alright," Y/N pulled the book out of her bag. "I'll let you guys do your thing. If you need me, I'll be reading over there."

She pointed to the edge of the mountain that looked over the small lake we drove past to get here.

"Be careful, angel," I warned.

"I'll be fine," Y/N rolled her eyes but as she turned, she tripped over a rock and stumbled a bit before standing straight.

I raised a teasing brow at her while crossing my arms over my chest. "What was that?"

"Fuck you," she taunted with her middle finger.

Don't tempt me, angel.

The next hour passed in a blur as we took countless pictures, just having a fun, relaxing time. Every so often, my gaze would fall onto Y/N as she leaned up against a large willow tree, book perched in her lap. The wind blew through her ponytail every so often and I marveled at how fucking breathtaking she looked when her face would scrunch in surprise with whatever she was reading.

I knew from the moment I stepped off our bus the first day of the tour when I saw her standing amongst the group; when we first met. It wasn't the typical love at first sight bullshit Folio talks about that happens in the movies. It was more like a familiarity, almost like 'oh, hello. It's you. It's always going to be you.'

"Noah, could you take a little step forward," Bryan directed.

Snapping my gaze away from Y/N reluctantly, I followed Bryan's orders for another long few minutes until he decided we got enough pictures. I motioned towards Y/N, who still had her nose perched in her book, and Bryan knew what I silently was saying because he snapped a few pictures of her.

Malcolm and Chase walked up just as we finished our photoshoot so a quick idea came to my mind.

"Angel," I called.

She looked up. "Hm?"

Not saying anything, I waved her, Malcolm, and Chase over to our position which they did hesitantly.

"If Bryan is cool with it," I pointed to him. "What do you guys say for a Hollow Souls photoshoot? New and reimagined?"

Bryan immediately agreed. "Let me change out some things and we can get started.

Chase and Malcolm also agreed with a nod. "I think it'll be good for us."

"You guys don't have to do this for us," Y/N stated. "You've already done so much for us, Noah by filling in."

I shrugged while stuffing my hands deep into the pockets of my jeans. "I take care of the people I care about."

She pondered my words for a long moment and eventually let out a long breath. "Alright fine."

Once Bryan returned, the rest of stepped back to give them space to work. Nick was the only one who watched me as Jolly, Folio, and I kept our eyes on Hollow Souls. We grabbed a few beers from the cooler Jolly packed and was nursing them slowly.

"You know, this would be a perfect opportunity to maybe slip away just the two of you," Nick whispered.

I peered over to him and rolled my eyes, shoving him in the shoulder. "Whatever."

"I'm just saying," he held up his hands in defense. "A night under the stars in the mountains. Anybody would kill for a date like that."

Nick's words weighed heavily on my brain and when she began walking towards me, I made the haste decision by grabbing the guitar that was leaning against the tree.

"Hi," Y/N smiled as I met her halfway.

My heart warmed at the sight.

"Do you want to go somewhere more secluded, just the two of us?" I suggested with a hopeful smile.

I didn't want to think how I would feel if she rejected me and walked away from me.

"Sure," she answered quickly with a glimmer shining in her eyes.

Ultimately, after walking for a few minutes, we decided on an area far from the rest of the group down the water's edge. We sat down in the sand, our knees brushing against each other, and held the guitar in my lap as I watched her stare out into the vast distance of the water. There was a faraway look in the depths of her eyes as she messed with something on her wrist, fiddling it between her fingers.

A hair tie; the one I gave her the last time we were on the beach together. I wondered where it went but decided that I never wanted it back. It's hers to keep; along with everything else I gave her.

"How are you doing, angel?" I asked, breaking the growing silence.

She didn't look at me, kept her eyes straight ahead.

"I'm-." A hesitant breath. "I'm not sure. I want to believe I'm doing okay with the breakup of not only my relationship but also the band. For the longest time, Hollow Souls was the four of us and we released three records together. The future scares the shit out of me. Can the three of us reinvent a new Hollow Souls or do we need to find someone to replace Trey completely?"

I strummed a few random notes on the guitar; the melody echoing into the sounds of the waves.

"I think a fresh start in all aspects is good for you," I answered slowly, trying to get my thoughts and words right. "I've said it from the start, you're the heart and soul of this band, Y/N. The screams were a bonus. It didn't make or break you guys."

She finally looked towards me and her eyes darted over every inch of my face, wondering if my words were the truth. With her, they always were.

"I don't know what I'd do without you, mochi. Truly."

I scrunched up my face to show that the nickname wasn't my favorite but deep down, my insides were floating in pure bliss having her call me something so disgustingly cute. If any of the guys heard it, though, they would give me shit until the end of my days.

"Ditto, angel, ditto."

I tried to play it cool, sauvé, and chill. My typical demeanor was chipping like ice though, the fear of what would happen if it broke completely had its vise grip on me. No one has ever considered a fuckin a nickname for me, not one without a punchline. Not one without a groan or a cursed tantrum that followed. I wasn’t sure if the pure bliss I was feeling was normal, but who the hell wants normal? Hearing it come from her lips meant everything to me.

"Let's play something," I motioned to the guitar.

"Ooh, what do you have in mind?" She asked while turning her body to face me completely head-on and letting her hair flow as she took it out of the ponytail.

The view of her sitting in front of me with the waves crashing behind her, the setting sun's rays breaking over the horizon stole the breath from my chest.

"Only Love," I answered without an ounce of hesitation.

Y/N's nose scrunched up with confusion and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't the cutest fucking thing ever.

"Noah, that was a demo song from three years ago."

I shrugged and played the first few notes of the song. "Might be silly to some but to me, it means a lot."

It was true. I listened to that song on repeat when it first came out. It was the first song I heard by Hollow Souls and Y/N's voice captivated my heart with its claws. I remember laying on the pullout couch next to Nick in his bedroom as I stayed there yet again. My mind was racing with only one thought.

I have to fucking make it. I needed to buy my own couch that brought a sense of comfort and security I yearned for.

That's when her soft voice came through my headphones and it shocked me to hear a feminine voice after Of Mice and Men. I brushed the hair away from my eyes as I settled deeper into the couch and let Y/N's angelic voice lull me to sleep that night and far too long after.

Cut to three years later and the girl who wrote that song is here in front of me. Some may call it a ‘rockstar crush. Would she be considered that? Who the hell knows? All I know is that I had pent-up memories, and needed to hear that sweet voice sing it, just for me all these years later.

Y/N's real, right there in front of me.

"I'm shocked you remember that song."

"Why wouldn't I? You talked about it being on the cloud during that one livestream," I answered.

Her eyes doubled. "You watched the livestream?"

"Twice."

A red hue brushed across the soft skin of her face as she tilted her head down towards the sand, long hair covering her face.

"No," I brushed away the hair behind her ear. "Don't hide your beautiful face, angel. I want to see all of you if you'd let me."

"Sorry," she muttered under her breath. "I don't even realize I do it."

"Don't apologize. Never apologize to me. Just understand that this is how I see you. Now, enough sadness. Sing for me, angel."

She looked up at me through lashes with a small smile. "Do you know how to play it?"

I snorted, a little hurt that she would doubt me, but proved her wrong as I played the opening part of the song.

"I told you I watched the stream twice."

"Okay," she nodded. "Where did you want me to start?"

"Sing the whole song for me. Please?" I begged.

"You want me to sing the whole song?"

"I do," I rushed out.

Y/N gave a curt nod. “Okay, I’ll play the whole thing- but only because you asked me too, no one else gets the privilege.”

I playfully narrowed my eyes at her. “They better not.”

She took a deep breath while shutting her eyes as I played the tune on the guitar.

"I’m hoping you weren’t heaven sent cause only hell knows where you’ve been. Your built composure’s wearing thin and all your walls are caving in. Before you shut this down, I just wanna lift you up. I’ll take all this love I found and I hope that it’s enough."

We both could hear the ache in our hearts as it bled out, the lyrics mean so fucking much right now.

"Now don’t you shut this down. Ooh no don’t you give this up. I took all this love I found and I hope that it’s enough. Is it enough? If we don’t bend, then this might break. Please don’t give into this pain. Just keep on counting down the days and dream of me to keep you safe."

Y/n opened her eyes to meet mine, a blaze of passion that cut deep into my bones.

"Before you came around I was lost and out of place. You’re the only love I found and I’m hoping that you’ll stay. Please stay."

As we played on together in perfect harmony, there was one thing bright in clear in my mind: I'd stay for as long as she let me.

"Fuck," she breathed. "I forgot how much I loved singing this song."

I nodded in agreement while setting the guitar down next to me. "It's one of my favorites. It's actually what got me into Hollow Souls. I'd been hooked on your voice since that first night on Nick's couch all those years ago when I first heard it."

Y/N beamed when an idea struck her with such force, she stumbled to her feet. "I have to talk with Chase and Malcolm about something."

She took off a few steps in front of me, clearly excited about this idea she had. As we reached the rest of the guys, Y/N made a beeline toward Chase to tell him about her idea while I walked up to Nick and Folio, the former giving me a look.

"So my date idea was good, huh?" He playfully jabbed my side.

I pushed him away with a groan of embarrassment. "Fuck off, Nicholas."

"Oh, he pulled out the full name," Folio teased.

Jolly and Bryan joined us as we finished packing up the van and when I glanced over to Y/N, I noticed Malcolm pinching her cheeks playfully and she smacked his hands away, her cheeks flushed with her own embarrassment and large smile.

NOAH

"Oh wow, look at all of these beautiful people tonight!" Y/N's voice carried through the sold-out arena.

It was the last show of tour and Hollow Souls just took the stage for their set. We could feel the nerves radiate off of all three of them all the way where we stood on the stage to watch them. This was new what they planned on doing tonight but the three of them spent the rest of last night after we parted ways at the hotel and all morning and afternoon today practicing nonstop a new setlist. They wanted to show everyone tonight the first step towards the new Hollow Souls.

"Where's Noah?!" a voice yelled from the crowd.

Jolly chuckled from beside me. "Think they'll be upset you don't show up tonight?"

I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. "I hope not. This is something that they need to prove they can do. The fans need to have faith in Hollow Souls."

"Well, about that," Malcolm spoke into his microphone while adjusting his bass strap.

"Now before you all start booing us off the stage," Chase spoke next from his spot above on his makeshift drum stage. "Noah has been fucking killing it not only with Bad Omens this tour but also helping us out a lot. But tonight, we wanted to do something a little different. We still have our guitar tech filling in for us!"

The crowd cheered for their guitar tech, which made him give an awkward wave.

"I know this may take getting used to, but we appreciate your support in doing what’s right for us and our band," Y/N said. "It means so fucking much to all of us you still showed up tonight even knowing Trey is no longer with us. For that, we're going to give you a kick ass show you deserved. Don't give up on Hollow Souls. We cut out the disease and are ready to fucking blossom."

Y/N peered over to me and with a small wave and wink, she sang the first few lyrics of Only Love.

NOAH

Darkness cascaded over my sleeping form, a brush of moonlight breaking through the curtains pulled tight in our hotel room, and I buried myself deeper into the cocoon of blankets. Sleep was within my grasp and after the last few weeks, the thought of finally being able to sleep in my own bed back at home made it that much easier to grasp it.

Until my phone buzzed from its place on the nightstand and my hand smacked around until it grabbed it. Through hazy vision, I blinked a few times for the words to clear.

Hey, are you awake?-Angel.

I sat up in bed and rubbed away the rest of the sleep from my eyes. It only meant one thing when someone texted you the typical you up text.

Yeah, couldn't sleep.

Bullshit, you were seconds away from waking up Nick with your snoring.

I stared at the bubbles that appeared on my screen and then disappeared, only to reappear right before her next text came through.

Would it be alright if I came by to hang out? Or is it too late?

The clock at the top of my screen showed it was just before midnight.

Not at all. I've got snacks, and we can finally finish watching Spirited Away. Room 392

Be there in five minutes. I'll bring some goodies too! :)

I chucked a pillow at Nick, who was fast asleep in his bed, but when he remained sleeping, I threw another. Eventually, he groaned, slowly waking up.

"You need to leave." I scrambled out of bed and pulled away the blankets from Nick. "Y/N's coming by to hang out."

Nick smoothed down his bedhead, a sly smirk on his lips. "You're kicking me out right now?"

"Fuck yes I am. Go bunk with Bryan or Matt," I said while changing out of my old gray sweats for a pair of black joggers, opting to put on a shirt.

He yawned before grabbing the things he would need and dragged his feet to the door, sending a text to whoever he bunked with.

"Be safe!" Nick called out before the door shut behind him.

With seconds to spare, I quickly tidied up the room then set up a variety of snacks and pulled up the movie on my laptop, setting it on the bed just in time for a soft knock to sound on the door. I let out a few deep calming breaths and did a quick once over of myself in the mirror.

"Hi," I smiled once I opened the door.

Y/N's eyes grazed over every inch of me as she shifted on her feet in the doorway, clutching a bag close to her chest. She was dressed in a pair of sleep shorts and an oversized shirt.

"Do you always sleep shirtless?" she asked with a raised brow.

I stepped to the side, allowing her to step inside the room. "Every hotel room I sleep in can't get any colder than seventy degrees. I need it to be at least sixty-eight. I run hot when I sleep and the guys know not to mess with the thermostat back home."

"Wow, good to know. I'll keep my hands to myself when I come over," she wiggled her fingers after setting her bag down on the couch.

Please don't.

I peeked a brow. "When you come over?"

"Oh, if you thought you saw the last of me because the tour is over, you're wrong," she fell onto the couch with a huff of breath. "I'm moving to Los Angeles."

My heart thumped loudly in my chest but I did my best to hide my excitement when I sat next to her.

"You are?" I questioned.

She nodded with that room-brightening smile. "I had a long talk with Chase and Malcolm tonight and we thought it is best. With us trying to reinvent Hollow Souls it'd be good if we were together for the writing process. Malcolm already found a place big enough for us and while he's going there to get things ready, Chase is flying back with me to Vegas to help me pack my things."

I shifted in my seat, resting my arm against the back of the couch, behind Y/N. "Do you think Trey will be there?"

"Probably but that's why Chase is coming with me; in case things go south."

"I could come too if you'd like," I stumbled over my words only slightly.

Y/N rested a hand on my knee and squeezed it. "You need to stop worrying so much about me, Noah. I can't ask you to change your plans for something I should do on my own."

"You're worth it, angel," I vowed while running a finger through the soft waves of her hair.

We stayed in that position for a minute longer, simply staring into each other's eyes, and when I ran my tongue over my bottom lip, Y/N let out a soft whine. The thick tension that always seemed to be around us intensified now, and it was almost hard to breathe, let alone keep my thoughts off the way her hand grazed a few inches higher on my thigh.

I cleared my throat while nodding to the bag next to her. "What did you bring?"

"Oh," she snapped out of her trance and set it on her lap. "Last tour, I started this tradition on the final night I celebrate by doing self-care."

She pulled out an array of masks and different colors of nail polish and then set them on the small coffee table in front of us.

"Sweet, hand me one," I nodded towards the masks.

"You do masks?" Y/N giggled.

"What, you think I get this perfect skin with just water?" I jeered with a smile.

For the next while, we sat with our face masks on and watched the movie on the small screen of my laptop. It took almost no convincing from her to paint my nails black; her choosing a burgundy color for her nails. But now, what she was trying to convince of me gave me a slight pause.

"I don't know, angel. I don't let just anyone touch my hair," I said while putting away my laptop, us finishing the movie.

Y/N moved to the chair that sat in the room's corner and had her legs spread wide. "It's a good thing I'm not anyone. Now, get your ass over here and let me braid your hair."

For added effect, she pouted her bottom lip out and gave me those big doe eyes.

"Fine," I sighed before sitting on the floor between her legs, my back to her.

I shivered under her touch as she raked her fingers through my hair to break apart the small knots that gathered while I slept earlier.

"So, which Greek God is your favorite?" I asked.

She hummed. "Without a doubt, Medusa. Her story is tragic and sometimes often told wrong but that's the thing with mythology; there are so many different versions, you just have to choose which one you believe more."

"Medusa is the one with the snake hair, right?"

"Yeah," she turned my head to the left as she began braiding that side. "Some stories said she was an original gorgon sister but recent tellings from Ovid say she was a beautiful maiden who worked in Athena's temple. Poseidon saw her from afar and just like Zeus always did, Poseidon decided he wanted Medusa. He had sex with her on the temple steps and Athena punished her by turning her into the gorgon with snake hair and cursed any man to turn to stone when they looked at her."

I whistled low. "Shit, Greek gods were assholes."

Y/N snorted. "You don't even know the half of it."

Once she finished the left side, she turned my head to the right so she could start on that side.

"How'd her story end?"

"In tragedy, like every other myth. Perseus was sent to behead her by King Polydectes of Seriphus because Polydectes wanted to marry Perseus's mother. The gods were well aware of this, and Perseus got help. He received a mirrored shield from Athena, sandals with gold wings from Hermes, a sword from Hephaestus, and Hades's helm of invisibility."

"Wait," I turned to look up at her, which made her chastise me because I messed up the braid. "Athena, who turned her into this monster, helped the guy who was sent to kill her?"

"Fucked up, I know."

With stern hands, she turned my head to the right again. "Since Medusa was the only one of the three Gorgons who was mortal, Perseus could slay her; he did so while looking at the reflection from the mirrored shield he received from Athena. During that time, Medusa was pregnant by Poseidon so when Perseus beheaded her, Pegasus, the winged horse, and Chrysaor, a giant wielding a golden sword, sprang from her body."

"Oh Pegasus, from the Disney Hercules," I noted.

"That movie is so wrong but what do you expect for a kids' movie," Y/N chuckled then slapped her thighs. "All finished."

She showed me my reflection through her camera on her phone and I couldn't stop the smirk that pulled at my lips.

"I'll have to admit, angel. I look good with braids," I admitted while snatching her phone from her.

"Hey, what are you doing?!" She asked while reaching for it.

I leaned far back from her and posed for a few selfies. "I thought you'd like an updated selfie of me. I know you have the other two I sent you a few weeks ago."

With a red face, she snatched her phone back and held it close to her chest. "I do not."

Bullshit.

"Right, then let me see your pictures," I teased while kneeling in front of her, hands resting on her thighs, her skin ablaze with heat.

She swallowed thickly. "Fuck you, Sebastian."

READER

I swallowed thickly while clutching my phone to my chest, knowing that he was correct about saving those two selfies he sent me before.

"Are you going to look at the selfie I took?" Noah taunted.

With a breath, I peered down at the phone only to suck in a large breath, body shivering underneath his warm touch on my thighs.

"That's your new contact picture, mochi," I smirked while setting it and leaned deeper in the couch, not realizing that I pressed my core closer to Noah's face.

His eyes burned as his gaze darted from between my legs up to my face and his tongue darted out to wet his lips, almost imagining the taste.

"Angel," his voice was deep, it rumbling in his chest.

All the heat shot straight to my pussy as it clenched with desire, something that always happened when around Noah. Before, I took care of myself with this exact image in my mind but now that it was about to happen made me buzz with excitement.

"Can I?" He asked while breathing over my lap.

I raised my hips towards his face, all morals or thoughts if this was the best idea flew out of the window. We waited long enough for this moment ever since we shared that kiss so long ago. I wasn't a religious person at all but fuck, did I pray to Aphrodite about this moment countless times.

"Please," the word choked out on my lips.

With a low growl, Noah pulled me off of the chair and tossed me onto the bed before he crawled between my spread legs. His long fingers hooked the waistband of shorts and panties pulling them off in almost a quick snap and when blazed eyes stared down at my bare pussy, I tried to close my legs.

"Don't," Noah demanded while gripping my thighs tight to spread my legs again. "Don't hide a fucking thing from me, angel."

Shit.

"I've never actually-," The words died on my lips when I felt embarrassed about what I was about to say.

Noah leaned over me. "Wait, are you going to say what I think you're going to say?"

I turned my head away from him. "He never wanted to go down on me."

Noah cursed while cupping my chin so I could meet his gaze. "Don't think about him, angel. Just lay back and enjoy this."

I did my best to nod in his grasp. "Okay."

He suddenly crashed his lips to mine in a fiery, passionate kiss, as he forced his tongue past my lips to taste every inch of my mouth and I moaned into it, nails scratching against the bare skin of his chest. Noah's teeth dragged over my bottom lip as his hand dragged down my side to slide up underneath my shirt, fingers pinching at my nipples.

"Noah," I breathed while breaking apart from the kiss.

He buried his face into the crook of my neck to breathe me in. "Say it again."

I did, over and over like a mantra, as he left a mark on the skin of my neck while his hand switched to the other breast, mimicking his actions from before. The wetness that pooled between my legs was almost a new feeling, never being this turned one, and for a moment I wondered if it would be alright; no pain.

Noah helped me sit up so he could pull my shirt over my head and soon was laying bare in front of him, hair sprawled around my head.

"Fuck, angel. You're fucking beautiful."

For the longest time, I was told something different from how I looked. So hearing the truth and sincerity from Noah made me almost close my legs in front of him. But with his tight grip on my hips to keep me locked against the bed, I knew he could read my thoughts.

"Don't go there. Stay here with me," he said before his lips pressed over every inch of skin from my lips to my chest, down my stomach, and stopped right about my pussy.

I whined the smallest of sobs when Noah took his time, lips ghosting over me. By now I was almost begging and when I finally felt the wet flick of his tongue against my clit, I breathed out a shaky curse. Noah pressed the fullness of his tongue against my lips, licking me up from the bottom to the top, spreading my legs wider apart. I bit my hand to keep the noises at bay.

"I want to hear you," he left a gentle bit on the inside of my thigh.

"Fuck," I moaned when his tongue speared inside of me for a few strokes.

My hands now grasped at the blanket beneath me as I raised my hips farther into his mouth, his lips wrapping around my clit to bite and suck at the bundle of nerves. I always thought my Gspot was in my clit because it was hard to have an orgasm any other way than rubbing myself. Without even telling Noah this, it was as if he knew exactly what my body needed.

It happened so fast, before I knew it he was devouring me like a dying man. I’ve never felt euphoria until now; this must be how it feels to see the moon, the moon that changes its orbit. He had me spinning.

"I love the way you taste, angel." Noah broke away from my clit for a second before diving back it.

The familiar feeling of an orgasm built in my stomach, the tension pulling so fucking tight it was seconds away from snapping. My spine tingled with anticipation as my body tensed, knees shaking underneath Noah as he rubbed his tongue in faster but shorter circles, moaning with the taste that lingered on his lips.

"N-noah. 'M so close," I let my head fall back deeper into the mattress.

"Let go, I've got you."

With a strangled breath, I let the orgasm crash through me like a tsunami, a bright white light edging at the corners of my eyes while Noah licked me through the last few aftershocks. As my breathing calmed, I lifted my head in time to see him stand to his feet, stepping out of his joggers only to stand in front of me in his black briefs.

I licked my lips when I saw his cock straining against the confines of the material until he palmed himself in a few strokes.

"Do you want me to stop?" He asked.

I shook my head with desperation clear in my voice. "No, please. I need this-I need you, Noah."

He cursed before sliding off his briefs with desperation and urgency, his hard cock springing against his thigh, and I nearly died at that sight alone. All of my imagination did nothing compared to the real thing, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared for a few different reasons. Sex with Trey was uncomfortable but with Noah's size, I feared it would only hurt. The only saving grace was that he worked me open and the added wetness would make up for the slight pain.

"Are you on anything?" Noah asked while kneeling between my legs.

A lot of different shit.

"No," I said.

He leaned over to a bag that lay at the foot of the bed and rummaged around for a few seconds before retrieving a condom. I watched with anticipation as pre-cum seeped out of the slit when he ripped it open and slid it over his length then perched himself between my legs again, the head of his cock pressing gently against me. He wrapped one of my legs around his hip then slowly, sunk deep inside of me, and I bit my tongue hard to keep my strangled cry quiet. I knew there was going to be some pain; it was inevitable, but I didn't expect it to feel so good either.

"Fuck," Noah rested his forehead against my collarbone. "So tight."

He didn't move at first, relishing in the way I felt gripping his cock, and I couldn't take it anymore; I needed him to move.

"Noah," I begged while grinding against him.

One hand gripping my thigh, the other was placed next to my head to keep himself supported as he finally moved his hips in slow, deep strokes.

"Faster," I panted, almost pleading.

Slow was good but right now I needed fast.

Noah accepted my pleas and began slamming into me with such force, I cried out in name with a mixture of pleasure and pain. My hand slipped between our bodies to rub at my clit, hoping that the sensation would ease the pain a bit, but it could only do so much.

He noticed something was wrong with the way my face contorted in pain. "Angel, do you want to get on top?"

"Fuck yes, please."

Still buried deep inside of me, Noah rolled our bodies so now I was straddling him and almost immediately, the pain subsided; it was still there but not as strong. My hands sprawled over the tattoos that covered his chest as I leaned down to lick my way across the snake and apple on his neck. The noise he made, and his moans were so soft as my hot tongue went up and down his neck, I grazed over his Adam's apple with my teeth and bit down. Noah shook underneath me as he wrapped an arm around my back to hold me closer, burying his thick, aching cock, deeper inside of me.

We felt the rush, the aching, burning blush. We surrendered to the touch. I gave him a show. This is heaven in hiding.

"Angel," he begged as my teeth worked on leaving a mark against the hand on his neck. "I need-."

"What do you need?" I ground my hips against his pelvis and the sensation sent sparks to my clit and I clenched around him.

"Fuck," he cursed. "Don't stop what you're doing. It feels so good."

"Oh," I bit down on a new patch of skin on his throat. "This?"

"Yes," he dragged out the S for a few seconds.

My hands went to run through his hair but I almost forgot in our haste that I braided it a few minutes before this.

"Angel," Noah's voice was raw. "You have no idea how much I've wanted you."

I sat up slowly to stare down at him in awe as his words made me feel unspeakable things.

In one quick action, his hand snaked behind my head to pull my lips back down to him to kiss me feverishly.

"Noah," I tugged on his braids.

"Shit, give me a minute. I can take them out."

I didn't stop moving my hips against him. "Noah. I-."

"Just second, angel."

His hands left their vice grip on my hips to take out his hair but I quickly slapped his hands while sinking deeper on his cock. "Leave them."

The same sensation of a cresting orgasm filled every inch of me, ecstasy shooting through my veins like a drug, and when Noah's thumb pressed fast circles against my clit, I leaned my head up towards the ceiling, lips parting as my hands wrapped around his braids, pulling with such force he choked on my name. I rode Noah faster, needing that last little bit of friction to tip me over the edge and when I finally let the bliss plow through me in droves, I held my breath.

"Angel," Noah cupped my cheek so I could look down at him. "Breathe through it with me."

I did as he said, both of us breathing out my orgasm as our eyes locked intently with each other. I writhed against him, my arousal soaking the condom and parts of his hips. It was such a simple action but the way it set my body on fire intensified the aftershocks to something I'd never experienced. Noah stared down to the place where we met and with a noisy moan, he wrapped an arm tighter around me to pull me flush against his chest as his hips stilled for a second before he emptied himself inside the condom.

NOAH

I pressed light kisses all along Y/N's shoulder blades, in shock and almost slight jealousy as I took in every inch of the large tattoo that covered her back. It was of a large snake that wrapped along every groove of her spine with an array of different Japanese flowers.

Afterward, I let her fall onto the mattress with a happy sigh, immediately grasping the pillow closer to her chest and that's when I noticed the tattoo.

"I can't believe I've never noticed this before," I mused while running a finger over the ink.

"It's taken like two years to complete. It's my second favorite after the one on my leg of the Gods," she rested her chin on her palm. "You know what I just realized? We have similar tattoo themes; copy cat."

Her finger grazed over the snake and apple along my neck.

"Yeah," I chuckled. "All you need is an apple right here."

I smacked right above her ass and she shrieked while falling into the pillow once again, a long but content sigh falling from her lips. I kissed from between her shoulder blades down her back, my nails grazing beyond the wake of my lips.

"Are you okay?" I wondered while gently squeezing her hips.

“Yeah, I think so. I feel content, just basking in it. You?”

I nodded and kissed the side of her head as I lay next to her. "I feel great."

"Do you know what you want in 10 years?" Y/N blurted out.

“That’s a random question” I chuckled while kissing her lips.

She sighed and looked up at me through her lashes. “I know but think about it, like really think about it?”

I thought deeply about her question, fingers still grazing her spine. “Alright I’ll bite, I don’t know, I’ve always been trying to make it with whatever bullshit has been going on in my fucking life- just wanting to mean something to somebody, make music- for anybody out there to listen. To be the fucking king you know?”

She laughs. "And?"

"Way down the road maybe one day in the future- to live in the middle of nowhere with a dog, cats, and a family of my own. In my wooden home that I built."

Y/N's body went rigid with my words.

"But right now, no dog, no family just…just Bad Omens," I finished with a hopeful breath.

She hummed in response but turned her head to face the wall opposite of us, something bothering her. Not wanting to push it, I left another kiss on her spine before I slipped out of bed to discard of the condom in the bathroom trash, a light red color catching my attention.

Once back in the room, I slipped back underneath the covers.

"Angel?"

Another hum vibrated from her throat, sleep weighing heavy on her shoulders.

"Did you get your period?"

I swore I saw all the breath leave her body with my question and my mind panicked, thinking she was embarrassed.

"It's fine," I rubbed her back soothingly. "I just saw some blood on the condom, that's all."

When she still said nothing, I nudged her face with my nose. "Are you alright?"

"Yep," she said quietly.

"Stay till morning?" I asked, hopefully.

Finally, she turned to face me and left a kiss on my nose. "I have to go."

My heart fell into the dark pits of my stomach as I watched her slip out from underneath the sheet to gather her clothes. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing, Noah." She slipped back into her clothes rather quickly. "I just have an early flight to catch and I know you have one too."

I shook my head and stood to my feet while slipping my briefs and joggers back on. "I don't buy that. We were great, where did you go just now?"

She doesn't want to leave, I can see that in the way her movements slowed once she was dressed, almost as if she was buying time for me to say something that would change her mind. But she refused to meet my gaze.

"Angel, look at me. What's the matter?" I asked again.

"Nothing-," she began with a sigh.

"Then why won't you stay?"

The fear of her slipping between my fingers was debilitating.

"Noah, you know I can’t; we can’t," Y/N stumbled over her words.

I stretched my arms out wide at my sides. "Why? Why can’t you?"

With her gaze still cast down to her feet, she shook her head. "You don’t want me Noah, trust me, you don’t want any part of this."

"Bullshit," I spat as my anger got the best of me.

Y/N's head snapped up towards me, finally looking me in my eyes and all I saw in hers were the wetness of tears. "I have this condition that already makes my life harder every fucking month. I don't need to bring you into it and ruin our future, alright?"

My heart stopped for a few seconds. "Condition? What the fuck, are you dying or something? I don't know what the hell this means."

"No," she rushed out. "I'm not dying. I-I don't want to get into this right now. All I know is that I would need you a lot more than you'd need me. And you deserve better than me, anyway."

"Don't-" I started while pointing a finger at her.

She ran a distressed hand through her hair. "You know it’s true Noah, please. This is hard enough as it is. Walking out right now."

The bed stood between us and I hated feeling so far from her even though we were still in the same room so I walked around it, standing a few inches in front of her now.

"I’ve been through a lot of shit in my life too, Y/N. Don’t sit there and tell me what I can and can’t handle. Don’t sit there and tell me what I want or don’t want. You’re just so afraid of us," I pointed between us.

She grasped her elbows to hug herself and I could see the way her mind was running, gears turning hastily. Y/N was shutting down in front of me and I fucking hated it.

"Don’t fucking do that. I’m not him," I assured her with a gentler tone.

All of this was a trauma response, something so embedded deep into her brain that it was the only way she knew how to act. I know she felt the same way that I did; it was clear with what happened not even an hour ago. If she didn't feel the way I did, she wouldn't have shown up tonight. Y/N wants to stay, I can see it in the way her eyes keep darting to the bed but the pain and trauma were too deep.

"I’m sorry angel, I just- you’re wrong. I know how I feel about you, and I know what you feel about me."

I went to reach for her hands but she took a step back, a few tears falling to the ground below.

"I know what I feel. It’s not you, it’s me, Noah."

Not that fucking line.

"No. Fuck, angel! Stop! The future hasn't even happened yet. Please, don't-what do you need to happen?"

Her bottom lip trembled as a broken sob clawed its wait through her throat. "I-I think we need to remain friends right now. I can't-I can't get lost in you, Noah. It's so fucking easy to. I think we need space."

"I-I don't fucking want that, Y/N. I just want you."

"Noah, please understand where I'm coming from," she begged.

I paced the room, hands shaking in anger. Defeat? I wasn't sure.

"Angel-I. Please, just-," I eventually sighed in defeat.

"I'm going to head out."

Y/N nodded towards the door after gathering her things and stepped past me to leave.

The fear of losing her completely is what made me give in to her wishes. As much as I wanted to fight her choice, I needed her as a friend more than something more. I'll take what I can get for right now until she realizes she feels the same; I know she does.

As she opened the door, my feet closed the distance between us in two large steps and I grasped her chin, forcing her to look at me. The tears burned with the need to fall but she held fast and strong, refusing to show me how badly walking away was affecting her.

I brushed my lips across hers in a soft kiss. "I can wait for you."

She tried to disagree but my grip was too strong. "Noah- I can’t ask you to do that. That’s not fair. You deserve-"

“Don’t tell me what you think I deserve." I let out a shaky breath. "Look, heaven knows I’m not getting over you, I can wait”

“Besides. I’m known for having a lot of fuckin patience. I will wait." I finished with a shrug.

If I wasn't already staring intently at her, I almost would have missed the small nod she gave me; but I didn't. I saw it.

“Goodnight Noah.”

With one final kiss, not enough to remember the way she tastes, Y/N let the door shut behind her as I burned my hateful gaze through it. She left? How the fuck could she just leave after the night we had together?

No, fuck that.

I barreled through the door in time to notice she was only two doors down, frozen in her spot.

"Angel," I called after her.

Slowly, she turned, and I sucked in a breath when I saw the redness in her eyes, puffy with teh tears she let out as soon as the door closed. Mine mirrored hers.

"Please," I begged. "Just come back to me. I'll wait for you."

Y/N hesitated but within that hesitation, something stood out clear as day; she took a small step towards me until that doubt filled the back of her mind yet again. I stayed in the hallway watching as she turned the corner, disappearing from my vision and life; my words not being enough to make her stay.

Back inside the room, I let the door slam shut and made a beeline toward the minibar. I screwed off the cap of the Hennessy, downing half of it in one go.

"Bitter ends to the night. I'm along for the ride," I raised the bottle in the air before taking another long, slow gulp with my eyes screwed shut.

Suddenly, they snapped open, and I rummaged around the mess of my room for my phone, quickly typing out a text to Jolly.

I need to write a song, now.

Only a few minutes passed before he responded, just enough time for me to pop open another bottle.

Now? It's three in the morning and we have nothing here.

Doesn't fucking matter. I'll figure it out. Come to my room.

Letting the bottle slip from my fingers, I stalked over to the wall and slid down until my ass hit the floor with a thud; the image of Y/N crying and walking away burned into my brain. I was out of breath, out of time trying to stop her but, in the end, everything has a price. And I was paying for it. 

[gimmeurtmi]

i cannot explain this emotion — han

pairing: han jisung x fem!reader

tags: best friends to lovers, slight angst

warnings: swearing, wrote this on my phone so probs not formatted right, ji is a dumby in this one, reader is flirty.

inspo: the intro to chill (my beloved)

notes: this is my first skz fic so would appreciate your feedback and thoughts <3

{ wc: 3710 }

being best friends with han meant a few sacrifices along the way, like celebrating important occasions over facetime because he was working somewhere twenty thousand miles away, or it was having to take separate cars when going out so people won’t ask too many questions, and sometimes, it was spending the whole afternoon in the jype building bored out of your mind because jisung needed to work (and you enjoyed the quality time anyway.)

really you weren’t complaining, it was all worth it to be friends with someone as kind and as caring and as magnificent as he was. but you would never say anything as cringy as that to him- instead, you’d complain and complain about how bored you were.

“okay, the boys are coming in to record vocals so it’ll be more interesting now,” han promised you, smiling lightly as he dialed lee know’s number.

you liked watching the creative process, especially when it meant jisung had that crease in his brow he always got when he was concentrating hard on something, but who knew the creative process had to be this fucking long. jisung promised it wouldn’t take too long, but as soon as he recorded the first verse he told chan to delete everything and start from scratch.

when minho arrived at the studio, you gave him a big hug and whispered, “save me,” into his ear. he laughed big, his eyes disappearing into themselves as he gave you a quick squeeze on your hips. he asked what you needed him to save you from, using a term that sounded a lot like knight in shining armour and you giggled at him that jisung was keeping you hostage here.

“oh, is he?” he asked lowly, rubbing your shoulder lightly.

“yeah, i mean,” you sighed dramatically, “at least you’re here now so it’s better.”

minho smirked at you, popping up an eyebrow in a silent question.

“minho, can you focus?” han demanded in a sharp tone.

you quickly pulled away from each other and sat by chan and the soundboard, looking on as lee know sang and han gave him instructions and tips on how he wanted it to sound.

he was so specific, your best friend, he stopped lee know time and time again to get the note just right. you weren’t too musical yourself and you couldn’t tell much of a difference between what he did the first time and the fifteenth time—but only after so many times was han finally happy, claiming it was “just like he imagined!”

the sparkles in his eyes as he said that made your tummy do something funny, something you never felt before (and never because of han) and so you coughed lightly and focused on chan and the many sound waves on his monitor.

“right, i think that was it, lee know,” chan said excitedly. they clapped their hands together in celebration, and jisung leaned over to give minho a hug.

“your vocals sound perfect with the hook!” he exclaimed, smiling brightly at his friend.

minho’s face gleamed at that, bowing in acceptance of the compliment.

“right, get felix down here,” chan asked as he clicked a few buttons. jisung quickly called him, and you walked minho out with a smile and for a small catch up.

being best friends with one of the members meant you were close to all of them, and so you spent a few moments asking minho about the new choreography he was working on and if he was coming over for dinner during the weekend.

after a quick hug he had to go to practice a few more moves—just in time for felix to round the corner and spot you.

“y/n!” he smiled, pulling you into a hug and then back into the studio.

the pair of you entered giggling, chan smiling at you as he invited felix to sit down and listen to the guide track.

you were about to sit down on the sofa next to him, as felix was still holding your hand, but as you passed han he grabbed your waist and sat you down on his lap.

“hey,” you whispered at him as he nuzzled his face into your hair.

“sorry it’s taking long,” he whispered in your ear—causing goosebumps to rise on your skin. you were sure it wasn’t that cold in the studio, they didn’t turn the aircon on unless absolutely necessary, considering the noises it made could be picked up by the mics.

why were you getting chills?

“don’t worry,” you said, placing your hand on top of jisung’s, the one that was resting on your stomach, “i’m having fun.”

“you weren’t having so much fun when it was just me and chan,” he said, and you could almost detect a whine in his voice.

“because you guys were doing boring things. now it’s fun,” you turned to him slightly, so you could see his pout and his shiny lips and how his cheeks looked chubby when he was making his pout bigger, “it’s cool watching you take control of everything and tell the boys how to do it right.”

han looked away from you. “just my job,” he shrugged.

“ooooh!” felix let out when the guide track was finished, “this sounds cool!”

jisung tapped you on your hips, a sign for you to get up, and you took your chair by chan again as felix downloaded the lyrics document onto his phone.

han explained what he wanted, and felix gave it a try, asking questions and making sure his flow was just right.

you watched as han’s eyes followed the lyrics closely, making sure each one was delivered correctly, his head bopping along to the beat they created only an hour ago, right in front of you.

then it was hyunjin’s turn, and then it was changbin, and one by one the members came in to record their vocals.

each time you were amazed by your best friend’s abilities.

this wasn’t the first time you’ve watched him do this—you even saw him create a whole song on his laptop while you were doing your makeup before going out to a party together. you’ve seen him do amazing things, but there was something about him correcting seungmin on his note delivery that made your brain implore you to jump into his lap again.

of course, you ignored that insane instinct and remained in your chair instead. but still, you watched as he told the lead vocalist how to sing his song in the best way possible.

you weren’t sure when you started doing it, but your finger was slowly moving against your lips as you studied han closer and closer. you weren’t even sure why you were doing it.

“y/n,” chan said, snapping you out of your daydream—that involved a lot more of jisung’s lap.

“yeah?” you asked, looking around them. chan laughed.

“we’re taking a break and then we just need to put everything together. food?”

“sure,” you got up, quickly making your way over to your best friend and grabbing his hand. “is there much left?”

“maybe thirty minutes,” he said, giving your hand a squeeze. “why?”

“no reason,” you shrugged, grabbing his bicep with your spare hand as the pair of you followed chan to the cafeteria. “just wanna cuddle you for a bit.”

jisung giggled, fixing the beanie on his head a few times. “we can do that while chan finishes everything.”

you grinned at him.

“you’re really talented,” you said, seemingly out of nowhere. jisung looked at you, his mouth a perfect o shape as shock took over his face.

“are you moving away or something?”

“what?” you laughed.

“you’re being so nice to me, wanting to cuddle and giving me compliments. is this the last time i’m gonna see you?” he asked, fake panic in his voice.

“it better not be,” you warned him, before you felt the need to say, “bro.”

“don’t worry, bro,” jisung said, his hand falling from yours as he sat down by the table, “we’re gonna be friends forever.”

for some reason you couldn’t explain, that sentence didn’t make you as happy as it used to.

later that night, after the track was finished and you fell asleep on the sofa in the studio, jisung dragged you back to their dorm.

by the time you made it back there, you were almost more sleepy than you were before, and the pair of you didn’t say much to each other as you silently took some of the spare clothes you keep in jisung’s closet and went to wash up. you’ve done this many many times before, and so, it wasn’t at all weird when you ran into hyunjin in the corridor, clutching your dirty clothes in your hand.

“yay,” he said silently as he saw you, “this means we’re getting pancakes in the morning?”

you laughed at him, even through your sleep strained voice, “only if you’re nice to me in the morning.”

“of course mrs. han,” he bowed at you. you shook your head at him, giving hyunjin a shove at the stupid nickname he decided to stick to you. it never bothered you before—but when he said it now your chest felt tighter all of a sudden.

with one final middle finger his way, you walked back to jisung’s room and easily climbed into his bed and under the covers. he then went out to wash up, the smell of him surrounding you and a sudden realisation your heart was beating so strong you could feel it in your ears.

what was happening?

nothing about this was out of the ordinary, it was so normal in fact that neither of you needed to talk about you sleeping over anymore—it was just so obvious.

why were you… nervous?

you didn’t have much time to think about it before jisung came back, the smell of peppermint strong around him as he sunk down under the covers, a hand routinely laying over your stomach.

you couldn’t help but wonder if he tasted like peppermint, too.

the thought scared you so much you jolted away from him, quickly turning your back to him to cover it up in any way you could (and the warm blush on your cheeks).

“are you ovulating?” he asked after a few minutes.

“what?” you nearly yelled, turning around to make sure he actually asked that.

“you’re just being super weird today, i thought maybe you’re stressed or hormonal or something. i have chocolate in the fridge if you want me to get some?”

“i’m not ovulating,” you said quickly, leaning back into your spot.

“are you in pain?”

“ji, it really has nothing to do with my period,” you shoved him lightly, rolling your eyes at his theory.

“then why are you being weird?” he whined, placing his hand back on your stomach now that he knew it was safe to do so, and nuzzling his face into your neck. you froze.

“i’m not being weird,” you said, your voice sounding nothing short of robotic.

“you are,” he pouted. “you’re not hugging me back and i don’t think i upset you so what’s going on?”

“nothing,” you promised him, bringing your hand around his shoulder to prove a point. his pout had turned into a smile, the most adorable smile you’ve ever seen on him. his eyes closed as he nuzzled closer to you, his smile reaching his cheeks. you couldn’t stop the whimper leaving your lips.

jisung’s eyes shot open.

“you are in pain,” he said, or more like demanded. he leaned up on his hands, hovering over you as he checked if there was anything wrong with you.

“it’s just… i just can’t really explain it.”

“chlamydia?” he said with the most serious nod he could master.

“ji!!” you yelled at him, slapping his chest a few times as he giggled at you.

“just tell meee,” he whined, shaking you lightly with the hand still on your stomach.

“no, you won’t get it.”

“please?”

“no,”

“pleeeaaaassssseeee—“

“—fine!” you yelled.

at that jisung smiled, shaking you again in excitement. he manoeuvred himself so he had his chin resting on both hands, his eyebrows high in curiosity.

“i have a crush,” you said quickly, before you could take it back.

“oh,” he said, his chubby cheeks sinking lightly. “minho?”

“um, no,” you said slowly.

“who? i can talk to them if you need,” he offered, a very small smile on his face.

“no, uh, no. forget i said anything.”

you quickly turned your back to him, your heart beating much faster than you believed was humanly possible as you took in a deep breath.

what the fuck were you thinking telling him something like that? han has been your best friend for years and you can’t throw that away because of a stupid crush. no. this was ridiculous.

“what if i’m ovulating,” he said, breaking the silence.

“you can’t biologically do that,” you explained calmly.

jisung hummed, moving closer to you again and draping a hand over your waist.

“well, i’ve been really hungry lately—“

“—you’re always hungry,”

“yeah, but i’ve been angry too. then i realised it was jealousy.”

your heart fluttered.

“jealousy?”

“every time one of the members talked to you today it annoyed me. do you get that when you’re ovulating?”

“ji,” you giggled, turning around to face him, “i don’t think that has anything to do with your non-existent uterus, and you’re probably just jealous your best friend gets all the attention.”

“i want you to want my attention,” he said, lowly.

you froze.

“goodnight,” he said, after what felt like five minutes.

“goodnight, ji,” you sighed, and for the first time ever the pair of you didn’t cuddle as you slept.

the next morning you made pancakes just like you promised hyunjin, but by the time you were done and called everyone for breakfast—jisung wasn’t there. you knew he wasn’t there when you woke up alone, but you figured he just went to work out. but by now changbin was back, saying, “jisung went out to do a few things, he wanted me to say bye to you.”

“bye?” you asked, as you gave the pancakes out into each of the housemate’s plates.

“yeah, we’re flying tomorrow to tokyo for some press.”

“oh.”

that’s the first time you’ve heard of them doing anything in tokyo this week—let alone tomorrow, but you simply nodded and ate your pancakes in silence.

you: ur not saying bye?

quokki: busy today. see you when we get back

you knew now you never should’ve told han about your crush. he must’ve figured out it was him and now he wanted nothing to do with you. you couldn’t explain why, but you would’ve preferred it if jisung could’ve just told you he didn’t like you that way than running away from you altogether. you much preferred rejection than not even getting a goodbye hug. but then—wasn’t this his way of rejection you anyway?

the boys got back from tokyo five days later, five days you spent without even talking to your best friend. that never happened before. jisung always made a point of calling you before bed or sending you pretty pictures of things he’s seen throughout the day that he wanted to share with you. sometimes he’d send you voice recordings to summarise his days or an event they just filmed. he’d always keep you in the loop.

not this time.

after five days, you knew they were back home because minho sent you a message inviting you to a nice dinner at his dorm with everyone. of course you happily agreed to come, excited to see your friends again. still, it was an ache you couldn’t explain when you realised jisung could’ve told you about these plans but he decided not to.

why was he giving you the silent treatment?

but jisung would be there tonight, and at least you’d get to see him, and maybe you’d find out his phone was stolen or broken or he has some sort of amnesia and that’s why he’s being the worst friend ever lately.

you wish you never told him about your stupid crush.

minho opened the door after a few knocks, letting you into the dorm with a smile and a quick hug.

“how was japan?” you asked with a smile, rubbing his back briefly before you pulled away.

minho told you excitedly about the food he had there, and about how he knows he’s getting better at the language because it was so much easier to understand people this time around, and when he moved aside to let you in you saw jisung sat by the kitchen island.

as soon as he saw you he rolled his eyes, mumbled of course to himself and grabbed his phone, burying his head inside it.

so he didn’t lose it.

you wanted to gasp at his reaction, you wanted to scream at him that he was a shitty friend, but you just stood there instead.

“do you know what,” minho started, looking between the pair of you, “i thought i was gonna pretend but i’m not. i’m leaving, sort it out.”

and then minho took his jacket and just left the pair of you together in the kitchen.

it was then you realised the other boys were definitely not there and minho wasn’t preparing any dinner.

you turned to leave, not wanting to stay in a room with someone who was clearly upset with you over something you can’t control, and grabbed the door knob.

as soon as you did, you heard a loud key turning from the other side of the door.

so he locked you two in here.

you turned around with a huff, making a beeline towards the sofa and plopping yourself down on it.

“sorry he left,” jisung said after ten minutes of silence. you knew it was ten minutes because the watch on the wall was ticking away happily—the only sound in the room until jisung spoke.

“okay?” you said, because you didn’t know what to say, and looked at him in curiosity.

“i’m sure you were looking forward to spending time with him,” he nodded in understanding.

“who?”

“minho,” jisung said, more or less defeated—as if in acceptance.

“what?” you sighed, “i was looking forward to spending time with my best friend, but i think he left too.”

“you don’t wanna spend time with your crush?” you swallowed deeply. was he really gonna make you stop referring to him as his best friend? was he that disgusted by it that he didn’t accept the title anymore?

“look, i don’t care about a silly crush if i’ll lose you over it,” you huffed out, running your hands through your hair, “i’ll absolutely ignore it and never say anything about it again and definitely won’t act on it, i promise. just please stop whatever you’re doing.”

you weren’t too proud to beg, and jisung meant the whole world to you. so yeah, you’d ignore these feelings that would soon pass if it meant your friendship would prevail.

“jagiya,” he sighed, a nickname he only kept for important moments, “i’m not asking you to do that.”

he got up, made his way over to the sofa and sat down right beside you. you wanted to leap into his arms and hold him for five days but you decided that might be breaking your promise so you held back instead.

“you should act on it! you should tell him how you feel and see what he says and you shouldn’t ignore it just for our friendship. our friendship can last anything, especially something like this,” he promised.

“act on it?” you had to ask.

“yeah, like, kiss him or something,” he shrugged, unable to quite look you in the eye.

“kiss?” you all but whispered. was he asking you to kiss him?

han knew about your crush on him and he was telling you to act on it. that your friendship would survive it. kiss him.

so you trusted your best friend’s advise (you always did) and leaned forward. you planted a soft kiss on jisung’s incredibly soft lips, kissed him for only a moment, then pulled away.

jisung sat frozen in front of you, his eyes gaped as his mouth sat in a small, surprised circle.

“oh,” he said after a moment, “oh! oh, oh. oh!”

“what?” your eyebrows knitted together, as jisung kept saying oh with his hands on his head.

“i’m your crush?!”

“who did you think my crush was?” you almost yelled.

“minho,” jisung yelled back.

“what? no! it’s you,” you got up, grabbing his shoulder and shaking it, “that’s why you ignored me this whole week and didn’t say bye after i confessed.”

“no!” jisung shook your shoulder back, “you started stuttering when i asked if it was lee know and when i said i want your attention you said nothing so you like him! i ignored you because i was too jealous.”

you slapped his chest. “jealous?”

“i was jealous of your crush,” he sighed, grabbing your wrist to stop you from slapping him again.

“you’re my crush!” you yelled, frustrated at how silly your best friend was being this whole time.

“i know that now!” he yelled back.

“am i your crush?” you kept yelling.

“how else can you explain my stupid reaction?” he laughed, trying to fight back your hands that were aiming to slap him anywhere you could find.

“you’re always stupid,” you accused.

“you’re stupid!” he maturely countered.

“kiss me again, then, stupid,” you giggled, not giving up on your attempt to shove at his chest.

at that, jisung giggled, before he let go of your wrists and snaked his hands around your waist.

he leaned down to press his lips against yours, softly and sweetly, before he pulled away again.

“so i’m your crush?” he asked again, just to confirm.

“if you stop kissing me again for a silly question you won’t be anymore,” you threatened, empty, but jisung took you seriously all the same, and quickly grabbed your cheek so he could lean into you easily.

you suppose this made up for the week you spent apart.

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

𝐒𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐀𝐧𝐱𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲 | Part 11

It's time to go.

Tags/Warnings: Game Designer!Jungkook, Brat Tamer!Jungkook, kinda himbo!Jungkook, Non Idol AU, established relationship, some Angst, he's trying ok[Tags will be different for every part!]

Length: 1k Words

There is no taglist for this fic.

Callob with @euphoricfilter ! 💜

-> Masterlist

♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

He’s checking your bags again. He’s done that twice now, and he knows that he’s going to need you to look through them at least once yourself because he just doesn’t trust himself to not forget anything.

But it’s getting a bit.. Urgent.

He really doesn’t want to text you like the lost dog he is right now to tell you to come home right now- but he kind of has to, if you’re not back in the next half an hour or so. Your flights are booked and he’s sure that you’ll have to at least go pee before leaving because he remembers that last time you both took a plane somewhere, you’d complained the entire time saying that the toilets in an airplane terrified you too much to use them.

You deserve to spend time with the girls, and he knows it’s his own fault for telling you so short notice about the trip. But right now, he needs to make a decision.

Your phone rings twice before you pick up, busy mall heard as background noise while his name falls from your lips much clearer for him to hear. "Hey- I.. I know it's only been like, what.. three hours? But uhm, I kind of have a flight booked for us that's leaving in two and-"

"Jungkook fuck, I'm so sorry!" You gasp out, clearly surprised over the time as well. "I didn't even tell them yet.." you say a bit quieter now, and he falls quiet for a moment before he sits on the edge of the bed between the bags.

He should just cancel it at this point. It's his own fault for not thinking clearly anyways, and it's obvious that you're not fond of telling the girls you're not going to accompany them on their weekend trip. He shouldn't take that away from you, and now anything he says could be guilt-tripping you into canceling just because he planned something instead. He wants you to have fun too- this is all for you, after all.

"Jungkook?" You ask, and he laughs a bit uneasy.

"Ah no it's fine, just.. don't come back too late, okay? Or come back late, I don't know.. but let me drive you home then, okay? Or I'll worry-" He rants, getting emotional again as he swallows hard.

Fuck. The stress he's put himself through really took a toll on him to make him so mentally weak right now.

"No, I'll tell them. You've worked top hard for this." You deny, before you speak again. "I'll come home asap. Can you pack my bag already?" You wonder, and he bites his lip. "Jungkook. I really wanna go on this trip with you, promise. I just got lost in time." You urge, well aware that he must be contemplating right now to be so quiet. "Okay?"

"...I already packed our things. Just.. wanted to have you look through it to make sure I didn't forget anything." Comes his voice through the speaker of your phone.

"Okay, nice, I'll do that when I'm home!" You chirp, unbeknownst to him already waving a cab towards you. Expensive, yeah- but the fastest way home nonetheless. "Hey kook?" You ask, and he hums a reply. "I love you." You say, and he relaxes at that, unable to prevent himself from smiling.

"I love you too."

While you're on your way home he checks his own bag one last time, present for you safely tucked away between his clothes and toiletries, before he zips it all shut, ready to go. He remembers the first trip you've ever been on together, years back- a cheap summer vacation your father had partially funded, where you had your first fight. It was horrible, nasty, really- but you'd overcome it, and in a way, you came home from that trip stronger than ever. In fact, you finally moved into this shared apartment together after that- one of the best decisions ever made, in his humble opinion.

You're hurrying through the front door, barely kicking off your shoes as you dash into the bedroom where your bag is still open and ready to be inspected. You kiss him hello on the cheek once before you search through it, breath slowly calming down a bit as you raise an eyebrow at the choice of underwear he'd packed. "What?" Is his sheepish answer. "They look great on you."

"Kook we both know you're just gonna rip them!" You whine, already dreading the rough actions the poor lace will have to endure if you do take them with you.

"Not if you can get rid of them fast enough." He wiggles his brows suggestively, while you roll your eyes. "Come on, last time you said it was hot when I ripped your-"

"Okay yeah, fine!" You complain, throwing them back into the bag before zipping it up. "Do you know where my passport is?" You wonder, and he smiles, holding both of yours up. "Damn, you really are prepared. Who are you and what have you done to my boyfriend?" You frown, crossing your arms while he leans forward to peck your lips.

"I'm still me." He purrs, before he takes the chance to slap your butt. "Now go pee, or you'll have to use the scary plane toilet!" He teases.

"They ARE scary!" You whine. "Imagine if you flushed and it sucked out your balls or something! I can't believe you're terrified of microwaves but not of something potentially snatching your jewels-!" You rant in complaint while rushing into the bathroom to do just as he said, well aware that he's right. It's just that you at least need to prove some sort of point here, so his ego doesn't inflate too much.

And as you both rush into the car to make your way to the airport, it's clear that he's both excited, and nervous. About what, you're not sure, but you also don't question it much further.

Because Jungkook's surprises tend to be those things you can't really foresee anyways, no matter how hard you try.

And you wonder what he's got hidden in his sleeve this time.

[serasvictoria]

Title: Firsts

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Female Reader

Summary: You ask Eddie to be your first, but unbeknownst to each other your feelings for one another run a lot deeper than expected.

Word Count: 6084

Content Warning: P in V (safe) sex. Loss of virginity. Eddie and Reader are both 18, but it is never explicitly mentioned. Some swearing. One mention of drug use to calm Reader’s nerves. Loads of insecurities and feels.

Notes: A huge thank you to @adrille88 for beta reading and for helping me out with the ending, because I was pretty damn stuck before ❤️

Tagging @blackseapearl @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @istorkyou @quantumlocked310

*

“I-is this okay?”

Eddie's voice comes out all shaky, completely devoid of the usual mock confidence that he throws in all the time.

It was almost like all the layers had been stripped away completely from the moment that he had parked the van, stripped down right to the bone, until there was barely anything left.

The one who's responsible for it is you and he would like to think that you would be proud of it, too, if you could actually get any words to come out of your throat right now.

You huff underneath him instead, the sharp intake of air almost as wavering as his own, but you don’t reply. Your eyes are squeezed shut tightly and you’re biting on your bottom lip so hard that he fears that you’ll draw blood any moment now.

“Hey.” Your eyes open then, blinking once and then focusing on him. He presses the tip of his nose against yours until you offer him a weak smile. “You back with me?”

“Y-yeah,” you reply. “Sorry, ‘s just-“

“Hurts?”

“K-kinda, but not l-like… it’s just… f-feels weird.” You try to elaborate, but it’s difficult to find the right words to express how you're feeling. You shake your head and throw in a, “Sorry.”

“What for?” That makes him smile, you being all cute and thinking you need to apologize. “If anyone should be sorry, it should be me.”

“Why?“

“For doing this in the back of an old van.” At least that makes you laugh and he’s thankful for it. It’s a lot better than your slightly pained expression of earlier. “I’m serious.”

“Not like we could do this in my room.”

Your mother was almost constantly at home, always hovering around the house, either to clean, cook or keep tabs on what was going on.

Whenever Eddie came over, she was always asking if you wanted lemonade or snacks, constantly standing in the doorway of your bedroom as if she was afraid that the two of you would jump each other’s bones the second that her back was turned.

So your house was very much out of the question.

“Or mine,” he answers.

“Well, we could, but you’d have to clean it first.” There’s some mild discomfort laced through your smile and Eddie momentarily wonders if you're still sure about this, if you're only smiling to stop him from worrying. “I have standards after all.”

“Hey.” He squeezes your hips once in retaliation. “Not nice.”

The only option that the two of you had was Eddie’s van. He would have much rather made it more special, rented a motel room somewhere or something, but it wasn’t like he had the funds to do that.

He had been working at the garage whenever he could to pay for his van and whatever spare money he had left from dealing had gone into buying equipment for his guitar, a new amp for starters, so there wasn’t anything left.

When you suggested doing it in the back, he had been surprised that you had been up for that, but Eddie wasn’t going to complain about it either. Not when the girl that he’d known for years and who he’d secretly been crushing on for about the same amount of time asked him to take her virginity.

Didn’t matter that it was under the pretext of ‘if someone has to take it, I’d want it to be someone that I trust.’ He ignored that small detail, instead focusing on making sure he did it right.

Because it wasn’t like he had any experience himself…

“Eddie.”

“Hmm?”

“You can move.”

“Oh, thank fuck for that.” He gives a gentle and experimental roll with his hips and you hiss through your teeth. “Bad?”

“N-no. Just need to get-“ Eddie’s still unsure if he should just pull out completely and forget that this ever happened, but the muscles in your jaw tense and there’s this blazing determination in your eyes all of a sudden that makes his heart skip a beat. “Fuck, just keep going.”

“You sure?”

“Positive,” you reiterate. “Keep moving.”

Eddie pulls his hips back, out of the warmth that’s surrounding his cock, taking care to move slowly so as not to overwhelm you, because that’s the last thing that he wants. You whimper when he slides back in and he sees it then, a slight uptick at the corner of your mouth, the merest hint of a smile.

“Good?”

“Y-yeah,” you breathe back. “That almost felt nice.”

“A-almost?”

He panics a little, immediately thinking to himself that you might not enjoy this as much as he was.

And he was. He really, really was.

From the moment that his cock had slipped inside your tight, wet heat, it was like he was in heaven. He couldn't even describe how it felt for there was nothing that he could even compare it to.

Eddie had done everything that he could to make sure that it would be good for you, too, even going as far as asking the least intimidating guy that worked at the garage for advice, and getting told that he should make sure that you were aroused and wet first and to make sure that you had climaxed at least once before sticking his dick inside you.

But he was too big, wasn’t he? That must have been the problem here and he should have known that from the moment that your eyes had nearly popped out of your skull when you saw his dick. Even if you had no previous experience and would probably have been intimidated by just about anything, he knew that he was too-

“Eddie.” You run your fingers through his hair, as he reluctantly keeps moving, seemingly noticing his thoughts immediately. That’s what you get when you’re on the same wavelength. No hiding anything from each other. “I-I didn’t mean it l-like th- oh fuck.”

“W-was that-?” You nod before he finishes his sentence. He had managed to hit your sweet spot completely by accident. “I d-don’t even know w-what I did.”

“J-just- ah.” When he pushes himself in deep, it's written all over your face how much you enjoy what he is doing right now, how right he has gotten it. Eddie grinds his hips against yours and he can feel your walls grip him a little bit tighter. “R-right there.”

“There?” He still doesn’t know what the hell he did, his mind too scrambled from having his cock snuggly enveloped in your twitching walls, but as long as you keep making those noises, he’ll do anything. “C-can I move a bit f-faster?”

“Yeah,” you mewl. “Please.”

In all this time that he has known you, Eddie has never heard you beg for anything. Not even in situations where it would be in your best interest to do so you never did, almost as if your stubborn nature wouldn’t let you. He genuinely thought that you would rather die than to be forced to beg.

So hearing you give him permission to go faster, and not just that, but begging him to please go faster, makes his mind go completely blank and he snaps his hips harder than he had intended.

“Fuckkkkk, Eddie.” Thankfully, you don’t seem to mind. From the way that your mouth is opened in a perfect o-shape and how your thighs grip him a little tighter, you really seemed to enjoy that. There’s a flicker in your eye as you tell him, “Do that again.”

“Jesus, fuck, okay.” His next thrust is so hard that he can see your tits moving up and down from the ferocity of the impact and he manages to pull a sound from your throat that he has never heard you make before. “You’re s-so… damn.”

“W-what?,” you ask, but Eddie dips his head down. His lips are suddenly on the column of your throat, licking and sucking, a bit too preoccupied to recall what he had wanted to say. “Oh god.”

“Still good?” he pants against your flushed skin. He’s absolutely relentless now, slamming into you, your walls fluttering around his cock so deliciously, sending him closer to the edge with every messy thrust. “You like that?”

You let out a noise that’s meant to sound affirmative, beyond words yourself now that you’re almost being ripped to shreds by the building pressure inside you. Eddie’s hand, which had been stationary at your hip, simply gripping you tightly until then, moves to where your bodies meet and you clench your teeth when his fingers start rubbing your swollen clit clumsily.

“Please don’t stop,” you keen. “Please, Eddie. Don’t stop.”

“I won’t.” He presses his lips onto your cheek, to the corner of your mouth, and he can hear your voice breaking over the continuous repeated pleas that keep falling from your lips. “F-fuck,” he grunts. “I’m so close.”

No sooner has he said those words, barely even out of his mouth, that he feels your pussy gripping him tightly. You gasp and your fingernails dig into his back so hard that he thinks that he’ll be covered in marks for the next few days.

He will wear those marks with pride. Hell, he might even get someone to tattoo them on him simply to make it a more permanent reminder of what just happened.

His eyes are on you, even if it’s difficult to keep them open, watching your blissed out features as your climax washes over you. You never looked more pretty to him, something that he had wanted to voice out loud earlier if he hadn’t gotten distracted.

Eddie’s right behind you himself, his cock jolting inside you, buried as deeply as possible, his balls tightening first and then unloading. Your walls are still clamping down on him like a vice, attempting to pull him in deeper, and he can feel his cum pulsing up his shaft in waves. The rush that he experiences is like nothing that he has ever felt before.

Surely, nothing could top this.

Claiming the girl that he’d known for years as his own, being your first, and you being his first as well. He would never ever forget this.

Collapsing on top of you, he feels guilty for crushing you, but he can’t move since all his muscles have gone completely slack. He can’t even pull out. Then again, he doesn’t want to pull out, not even now that he’s softening inside you. It just feels too good.

You stir underneath him, crane your neck and press your lips against his temple gently. When your fingers tangle through his hair, he sighs deeply as you start dragging your digits through the strands, pulling out small knots.

He knows that he has to move eventually, but for now he'll do his utmost to burn this exact moment into his memory, how he feels and how you feel underneath him. He wants to remember every movement, every sigh, every touch… all of it.

Eventually, you nudge his side and he rolls off of you with a groan. He misses the warmth of your body immediately, even if he can still feel it from where your arms are still touching each other.

It's simply not enough.

"So… w-was it…" Eddie starts to say as he sits up and removes the condom from his now soft cock. He ties up the end and places it in the corner, right behind the driver’s seat, hoping that he won't forget to toss it when he's home. "What I'm trying to ask is…" he clears his throat and blurts out the rest of his question. "How was it for you?"

"Weird," you reply and when he looks back at you, you're fiddling with your bra, getting ready to put it back on. "But not as bad as I…" He watches you shake your head and absentmindedly sees you rubbing a hand over your knee. "I expected worse? Not that I thought that you'd-!"

"No offense taken," he laughs. Eddie knew that if not done right, it could be worse for girls. His eyes are still on your hand and they slowly drift up your thigh, ever higher before you manage to cover yourself up. His eyes widen when he sees what happened. “Oh, baby, shit. You’re bleeding.” He reaches for his jeans, pulls his signature bandana from the back pocket and gently rubs it against the apex of your thighs before he freezes and realizes what he just called you. “I uh-"

“What, Eddie?” His eyes are dragged away from what he's doing and then he locks eyes with you. You're awfully close, close enough for him to feel your warm breath on his face. "It's okay… it happens sometimes. Apparently."

Your eyes keep flicking back and forth between his eyes and his lips and all that he'd have to do was lean in just a little bit more, only a couple more inches and then your lips would meet.

But he couldn't.

Because friends didn't kiss.

Even after what had just happened, he was still too cowardly to actually lean in and kiss you, almost as if he would be overstepping some boundary if he did. The kiss to the corner of your mouth was the closest that he'd ever gotten that evening.

"Y-yeah." Eddie pulls his hand away, the bandana stained with your blood, and then he turns his head to toss it right next to where he had put the used condom. "What time are you supposed to be home again?"

"N-nine," you stammer as you finally put your bra back on. "What time is it now?"

Eddie checks his watch and replies, "Quarter past eight so we have plenty of time left." He puts his own clothes on a lot quicker than you get back into yours and he slides back into the driver's seat a mere minute later. "You want a smoke?"

"Yeah, but just a normal one." With his eyes firmly fixed on the rearview mirror, he watches you get dressed, memorizing every inch of your bare skin. "My parents will kill me if I show up high."

"Fair enough." He grabs a packet of cigarettes from the dashboard and sticks one between his lips. "Some other time?"

"Yeah sure." You sound oddly distant, but Eddie blames that on the awkwardness of the current situation. After what you two had just done, it will probably take some time for things to be normal again. If they ever can be. "Light it for me?"

"Sure." He grabs another cigarette, digs his lighter from the pocket of his jeans and lights them both. When he looks back in the rearview mirror, you're almost fully dressed. Your sneakers are in your hand as you step between the seats to the passenger seat. "Thanks," you reply as you take the cigarette from him. "Music?"

"What?" Eddie realizes that he had been staring at you and follows your finger as you point at the radio. "Oh. Music. Sure."

You finish your cigarettes without saying another word, instead listening to a mixtape that you had made the week before with various punk rock songs until it was time to bring you home.

Last Caress from The Misfits was playing when you got out of the van and bid him a good night. It was the first time that you had said anything since asking him to put on some music. Eddie waited a bit longer, until you had opened the front door and entered the house, which was what he always did, before pulling away and heading back to the trailer park.

He ejected the tape fairly quickly after he pulled away though. Something about the lyrics of Last Caress rubbed him the wrong way for some odd reason.

One last caress, sweet death

It simply felt wrong…

*****

Eddie doesn’t see you the entire weekend and he’s too scared to go to your place or to pick up the phone so he can ask you if you want to hang out.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this anyway. You had said it yourself, you had asked him to take your virginity because you trusted him. There wasn’t anything more going on there. He had convinced himself that there wasn’t, that the act itself was ultimately meaningless.

On Monday morning, when he was waiting outside your house to come pick you up like he usually did, that was the main thing that was on his mind, but he didn’t want to make things awkward between you by asking you questions that would confirm his suspicions.

You slid into the seat next to him, saying a quieter “morning” than was usual for you, but Eddie does his best not to comment on it. All he does is incline his head in greeting and then his foot is on the gas as he drives to school.

Nothing else is said. Maybe there’s a reason for it, for your silence.

Embarrassment for one, because you can barely look him in the eye. Nervousness perhaps, because you can’t stop fidgeting with the hemline of your shirt. Regret? He hopes not, but who knows.

The silence drags on and you look out the window, alternating from rubbing your shirt between your hands to grasping the strap of your shoulder bag and twisting it around your fingers. You could cut the tension with a knife and you’re unsure how to lift it, not knowing what you could or should say.

You clear your throat and Eddie finally looks at you right before he comes to a stop in front of a traffic light.

“S-s-so,” you finally stammer out.

“So. What's up,” Eddie replies, but his voice sounds all weird. Detached. Angry almost. And he wasn't, not really, but the rational part of his mind seemed to have switched off completely and he is incapable of sounding normal in any way.

“A-are you angry with me?” Unlike Eddie, you don’t avoid the potentially awkward questions now that he has finally opened his mouth.

“Angry? Why would I be angry?” he snaps, but he seems to realize how that sounds and amends himself. “I’m not angry,” he sighs, his tone softer now. “There’s no reason for me to be.”

“Oh,” you mumble as the light turns to green and he starts driving again. “It’s just- I didn’t see you this weekend.”

“We saw each other on Friday.” He notices how you look down at your shoes when he says it and for someone that was able to read every single emotion on your face before, he sure has trouble deciphering them now. “You didn’t call.”

“I-I usually don’t have to,” you reply. “You just show up and then we hang out.”

That was true. The two of you hardly ever called each other beforehand to schedule anything. There were certain times during the day that you kinda kept empty for each other so neither of you had to call to ask “Are you free right now?” It had been like that for years.

“I was busy,” Eddie says. “Maybe I should have told you.”

“Oh no, that’s okay." You seem unusually flustered by this and immediately stare out the window again. "Fine. That’s fine.”

"What is the-" He begins to say, but even though your head is turned away, he can see your bottom lip wobble. "Hey, are you-"

"Fine," you repeat like a broken record, a bit more forcefully and he can definitely hear in your voice that you're on the verge of tears. "I'm fine."

“You don’t sound-“

“Just stop talking!” Eddie visibly flinches when you raise your voice. Okay, you’re definitely crying. “I don’t want to… just don’t say anything.”

Even though he’s close to school, Eddie still pulls over to the side of the road. If he reaches the school parking lot, you’ll bolt out of his van and he won’t see you for the rest of the day, he just knows it. But he’s still far away enough now and you’re too upset to actually get out and walk. He knows you well enough to know that you won’t get out here.

“What’s wrong?” He tries to reach for you, but you turn away. Your arms are wrapped so tightly around yourself and you’re leaning forward as if you’re trying to curl yourself up into a little ball. “Is this about what we did?”

Even though he didn’t want to, he had to broach the subject. There’s no other way around it anymore.

“What do you think?” You wipe at your cheek furiously, the tears falling in full force now. “Enlighten me, Eddie.”

“I told you upfront that we probably shouldn’t do it, alright!” He hates himself for raising his voice as well, especially since you’re so obviously hurt but fuck, he was hurting, too. “But you-“

“Don’t blame me for it! You got what you wanted and then you couldn’t even be bothered to pick up the goddamn phone?”

“I got what I wanted?" He wasn't expecting that response, especially not after you so obviously used him. "You’re the one that-“

“It was an excuse!” you shout. “I knew that you would never touch me like that, so I fucking lied!”

“What?” It’s all he can say as he stares at you dumbfounded. “What?”

“I-I-I figured if I’d offer you that… if I’d let you… that maybe you’d see me in a different light, that you’d think of me as a woman instead of… actually I don’t even want to know what you think of me…" Eddie has no intention of answering, but you hold up your hand anyway, apparently under the impression that he had been about to speak. "But it obviously… fuck, it’s so obvious now… it didn’t fucking work… and it’s not like I can take it back...”

You ramble on, more to yourself than to him by the looks of it, and Eddie doesn’t know what to do. He’s heard you rant before, usually about books or bands or whatever other subject you're passionate about, but never like this. This was pure, unfiltered self-doubt talking and it's a side of you that he was oddly unfamiliar with, because it was a side of you that you had never once allowed him to see.

Part of him knows that he should stop you, before you run out of breath since you’re babbling so much, but another part of him wants to know what you’ll say now that your internal filter seems to be malfunctioning.

“So I ruined everything… and I want to fix it… for things to go back to how they were, you know? But I can’t just… wave a magic fucking wand around and make everything go back to normal.” You hang your head in your hands and he can see your back begin to shake, signifying that you’re close to sobbing. “S-s-so now I’m going to have to… learn to live with that, I suppose… but fuck, I wish I could… really, really wish I could make you-“

“Stop. Fuck, please. You’re not making any sense.” Your mouth snaps shut and you wipe at your eyes with the back of your hand. “So, here’s what I got from that… that speech. When you told me that you trusted me, that you wanted me to be your first because you trusted me, that was a lie?”

“N-no. Not r-really.” You shake your head and quickly add, “I do. Trust you, I mean, but that’s not why I asked you if you wanted to… you know.”

“So why then?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“Oh, trust me, babe, it is.” When you were mid-rant, the pieces kind of fell into place and he felt like a right idiot for not realizing it before. “I just wanna hear you say it. And say it to my face.”

He watches you take a deep breath, trying to steady your breathing because right now it sounds like you ran a couple of miles. You close your eyes and repeat it a couple of times.

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

It takes a short while for your breathing to even out, but when it does, you look a lot calmer than before. Eddie can see your hands shake and to stop them from doing that, you grip your knees so tight that it's hurting him just from looking at it.

“Okay,” you say softly as you turn to him. Your eyes are red and there are streaks on your cheeks, but you seem to have found the determination to want to do this, to tell him what’s going on. “Eddie.” A shiver runs down his spine from hearing you say his name like that, his mind suddenly filled with reminders of last Friday. “I love you.”

“And that’s why you asked me to f- make love to you?”

“Yes.” You look ashamed of yourself and you don’t seem to catch that Eddie very deliberately said that he ‘made love to you’ instead of ‘fucking you.’ “I shouldn’t have asked you, I’m sorry, and now I ruined everything.”

“Why would that ruin everything?”

“You think that we can go back to being friends after that?” He shakes his head in reply. “See? I messed up.” Your eyes well up again and you rub at them before the tears can fall. “I’m so sorry, Eddie,” you sob and he can see your hand gripping the car door, getting ready to open it and get out.

“Wait,” he blurts out. You sniffle and pause, but your hand doesn’t let go of the handle. “You don’t want to hear my answer?”

“Your answer?” You frown, a brief flash of anger crossing your features because you’re convinced that he’s making fun of you now. “I’d rather not know if that’s okay.”

“No way. You got to say what you wanted so I should get the opportunity as well.”

“Just… be gentle, okay?” You seem to have resigned yourself to the fact that whatever you felt could never be reciprocated, hence why you had even come up with that badly thought out idea to have him be your first to begin with. “I don’t think I can handle much more today.”

“Babe…”

Seeing you like this was breaking Eddie’s damn heart.

All the thoughts that had been plaguing him these last two days seem to have been on your mind as well.

He wonders how many times you had the phone in your hand, ready to call him, before deciding against it. Wonders if you had been thinking of grabbing your bike to cycle over to his place, with the excuse that you’d lost some random thing that you desperately needed right that instance.

Because those were all things that he had been thinking of doing, too. He’d even made it as far as a few blocks away from your house on Sunday before turning around and going back.

The only problem was that now that he had the opportunity to tell you exactly how he felt, and how he had felt for several years now, that he couldn’t find the words.

His entire mind was drawing a blank.

And the longer the silence dragged on, the more your face seemed to fall. He could see every single insecurity written all over it, a million doom scenarios flashing behind your eyes, each one worse than the other.

Eddie wanted to take all your doubts away, but he didn’t know how. For someone that had an answer for almost everything, he sure was struggling now.

“Eddie,” you said softly. “You don’t have to-“

Practically lunging forward, he cupped your face in his hands and kissed you instead. It was just the one kiss and when he pulled away, you were staring at him with wide eyes, like your brain was struggling to process what the hell had just happened.

“I um… I didn’t know what to say,” he whispers. “So I just-“

“So you just-“

“Yeah. You don’t mind?”

“No, no, I don’t mind,” you blurted out. “Why would I mind? I mean, I-“

Eddie presses his lips on yours again before you can go on another nervous ramble. The first kiss was over before it even started and you hadn’t gotten a chance to respond then, but you do now. He feels your hands on his shoulders, your touch uncertain at first, but your grip tightens when his tongue swipes over your lips.

You sigh and he takes the chance to lick into your mouth, seeking out your tongue. You match his eagerness and then take it further than he had intended to.

You shift in your seat until you’re sitting on your knees and looming over him. The kiss breaks for a few seconds and you push him back, moving in to straddle him immediately. There’s not a lot of room with the steering wheel right behind you, but you won’t be deterred and Eddie doesn’t stop you either. His hands circle around your back, pulling you into him.

You’re basically grinding into Eddie’s lap while most of Hawkins is on their morning commute to work, dropping their kids off at school, passing by his van without having a clue what's going on in there. Whenever they hazard a look inside, they’re treated to the sight of two horny teenagers who look like they’re seconds away from tearing each other’s clothes off.

Some random woman that passes by on the sidewalk bangs her hand against the window, muttering something about devil worship. She didn't even have to look twice to check who was behind the wheel, because everyone in Hawkins knew exactly who the proud owner of that van was.

“What’s the devil got to do with you sitting on my lap?” Eddie murmurs against your lips, amused.

“No idea,” you shrug as you pull away and move back to your own seat once more. “Probably thought that you’d brainwashed me or something.”

“Sure I did,” he mutters. That’s when he thinks of something else entirely. “What’s first period again?”

“Phys ed.”

“Fuck that.” Eddie turns the key in the ignition and makes the engine roar back into life. He turns the van around and drives back in the direction that you had come from. “We’re skipping class.”

“Oh, are we?” If you had asked him to, he would have turned around and driven right back to school, but he knew that you wouldn’t challenge him on this. “And what are we going to be doing instead?”

“Some physical education of our own. It’ll be loads better than playing dodgeball again.” Eddie starts chuckling and couldn’t resist adding, “You can dodge my balls instead.”

“God!” Your arm shoots out and smacks his bicep. “You’re such a child,” you say with a laugh. “Honestly.”

“I’ll make sure that you get your workout, baby, don’t worry about it.”

“You gonna make me sweat?”

“That’s the idea.” He holds his right hand out to you, palm up, and you take it without hesitation. He gives your hand a quick squeeze and throws in a, “Best way to work up a sweat.”

The rest of the drive is relatively silent. The only noises are coming from the car stereo, which wasn't set to its usual volume for once, interspersed with the occasional laugh when the two of you happen to make eye contact.

Eddie drives to the exact same place where he parked the car last Friday afternoon, a relatively secluded spot near Lover's Lake which was eerily quiet at this time on a Monday morning.

It had taken quite some time to coax you into the back on Friday, nervous as you were, and even sharing a joint with Eddie hadn't made your nerves subside.

You'd sat in the passenger seat for at least a half an hour longer before you had joined him and then it had taken another half hour for you to even take your shirt off. All that happened while Eddie had his back turned to you by the way, while he continuously promised that he wouldn't face you until you were ready, even if he was hard as a rock already by that time (uncomfortably so).

There wasn't any hesitation now.

Seconds before Eddie had turned the engine off, you got up, squeezing through the space between the seats and sat down in the back. Eddie hadn't gotten round to putting all the blankets that he had grabbed from the trailer back yet so you were sitting quite comfortably among them when he joined you.

His mouth falls open when you take your shirt off like it's nothing and when your hands start moving down, fingers already moving to open your jeans, is the moment that apprehension sets in for him this time.

"Nice to see that you're so comfortable now," he laughs nervously. "But there's one thing that I need to tell you first."

Your fingers stop moving, jeans pulled open far enough so that your light blue cotton panties are visible. "What is it?" You move over to where Eddie has sat down and ask, "You don't want to do this anymore?"

"Fuck, that's not it. I definitely want to do this." He very crudely takes your hand and places it on his crotch so you can feel exactly how hard he is already. You give him a quick squeeze and he groans in reply. "I just wanted to clarify something."

"And what's that?" Your eyebrows arch in amusement and he doesn't really know why. "You can tell me, Eddie."

"Well, when you first suggested that we sleep together, you did that with the assumption that I'd slept with someone before."

"Yeah?" You briefly cover your mouth with your free hand and clear your throat. "Are you trying to tell me that you didn't?"

"Yeah," he says quietly. "That's exactly what I'm saying."

"Eddie." You lean in and peck his cheek. "I already knew."

"Wha-?" he says, dumbfounded, and you can't stop yourself from giggling now. "How did you know?"

"You did say that you didn't know what you were doing. It was just the once, but it was kind of a dead giveaway," you reveal. Eddie smacks himself in the forehead. He had said that. "It made me feel a bit better, to know that we were both new to it and were experiencing it together."

"Can't hide anything from you." He reaches out to touch you then, his hands skimming up your chest until he's cupping your tits. "My girl's so smart." You let out a moan, one that's a bit too loud for what he's doing, and Eddie's face lights up like a goddamn Christmas tree. "You like being called my girl?"

"Uh-huh," you pant as you arch your back and press your chest into his hands. "I love it."

"Good." Eddie leans back until his spine is pressed against the side of the van, pulling you along with him and making you straddle his lap. "'Cause you are my girl, right?" You whimper when he runs his hand through your hair and grips the back of your neck gently. "Tell me."

"I'm your girl." You pop the button of his jeans, pull his fly open and slip your hand inside. "I've always been your girl," you tell him as he pushes his hips up into your hand. "Eddie." There's a sense of urgency behind your voice. "We're gonna have to hurry up if we want to make it back in time for the second period."

Eddie presses his forehead against your shoulder and groans, "And what's that again?"

"Maths."

"Fuck that," he replies as he reaches around your back to unhook your bra. "We're skipping that one as well." He licks a stripe from your collarbone up to your ear and growls, "Now stop talking about school please? It's putting me off."

"Oh really?" Your hand jerks upwards over his shaft. "If anything, you're only getting harder," you observe with a grin. "Or is that because of-" Your sentence ends in a yelp when Eddie suddenly flips you onto your back and gives you a searing kiss to shut you up.

"You done?" You nod, your sass now completely gone. "Good, because we have about an hour left and I want to make you come at least three times before we get back to school if you don't mind."

"No, I don't mind," you squeak. "I don't mind at all."

"That's my girl…”