#I just realized it didn't post the chapter when I hit post I'm a little stupid

[punkshort]

look what we've become - ch.6

Chapter Summary: You arrive at Ellie's family's house, but it's not what you expected.

Chapter Warnings: language, mentions of child abuse (not SA), mentions of slavery, angst

WC: 6.3K

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Ellie was quiet the next morning, picking slowly at her granola bar and bent over, staring at her book. It was the day you expected to arrive at her aunt and uncle's house, and you had a hunch she was feeling bittersweet about it. When you woke up, you had a pit in your stomach that you assumed had something to the conversation you had with Joel the night before, but as the morning wore on, you realized there was a different reason. You weren't ready to let Ellie go.

"Hey," you said, nudging her knee so she would look up. "You excited to see your family?"

"I guess," she said with a shrug. Joel appeared to only be half listening as he nursed his coffee across from you.

"I'm sure they'll be happy to see you," you replied. "They probably don't even know you're alive. You said you were taken from their house, right?"

"Yeah," she said with a nod. "After my parents died, they took me in. I can't really remember much, but I know it was nighttime and I had a bag over my head, but I don't remember them breaking into the house, I must've been asleep."

"And it was the Fireflies who took you?" you asked.

"I'm not sure. It wasn't Marlene's group, if it was. There was more of us, they kept us all in this gross basement or something. No one could tell where we were, and whenever they moved us, they had the bags over our heads."

"Jesus," Joel muttered to himself with a shake of his head.

"How do you know it wasn't Marlene?" you asked gently, curious to learn more, but worried about upsetting her.

"Because after a few months, they took me and a couple others to Marlene's camp. She never made us wear the bags," Ellie explained.

"They hurt you?" Joel asked. His eyebrows were pinched as if he were bracing himself.

"A little," she admitted quietly. Your gaze dropped down to your hands, trying not to show her the emotion on your face. "They'd hit us if we weren't working fast enough, or trip us just for fun, I guess."

"I'm so sorry, Ellie," you whispered, reaching out a hand to place on her knee.

You exchanged a pained look with Joel before dropping the subject. At least she was going back home. She might not be excited yet, but you were willing to bet she would be once she saw her family again.

"We're doing the right thing," you murmured to him when you were out of earshot as Ellie packed up her belongings. "I know you weren't on board with this at first, but we're giving her a chance at a decent life."

"Second we get back I'm tellin' Tommy we are cuttin' all ties with these people," he said through gritted teeth. "I don't care what they got to offer."

You nodded, feeling the anger rolling off of him as he aggressively folded up his sleeping bag. You grabbed your pack and kicked dirt over what little fire remained, snuffing out the embers before reviewing the map once more.

Thankfully, her family didn't live within the city itself. Cities were heavily populated, which meant more risk of infected, soldiers, or hostile people. You tended to avoid them at all costs. They lived in a small town outside of the city called Morristown, which didn't have much outside of a post office, a school, and a fire department. The residential homes were built far apart from each other, scattered and disorganized. You got the feeling that people who used to live in this town knew everyone's business, it was so tiny. And you also had the feeling these were the types of people that shot first and asked questions later, given the extent it appeared they went for privacy.

"That's my school!" Ellie said excitedly, pointing down the street. Joel was focused on the map, trying to find the way to Spirit Drive, but you twisted your head so you could see the building she pointed out in the distance.

"That's cool, Ellie," you said warmly, happy to see she finally had a small smile on her face. "What was your favorite subject?"

She went on to tell you about her art class and a teacher she adored, and all the while you stared at her, listening to her stories while your heart ached. You imagined her in that school, with her friends, playing sports, eating lunch, and something inside you burned. It almost felt like jealousy, but that didn't make sense. It was a feeling you couldn't put your finger on, but you thought you knew what it was when you turned down her street, swallowing the lump in your throat when the realization set in that you were minutes away from never seeing her again.

"This the place?" Joel asked Ellie, squinting his eyes between her and the map. The house didn't look like much. It was a small, brick ranch with a long, gravel driveway that led up to a dilapidated grey barn. The hinges on the storm door to the front house were originally black, but now orange with rust. White paint chipped from the door in long strips, and the front garden was long abandoned and overgrown.

"Yeah," she said, looking at the barn.

"Do you think they're still here?" you asked, a flicker of hope igniting in you. Maybe if they weren't here, you could convince Joel to take her back to Jackson.

"Oh, yeah. They're here," she said confidently. You both glanced down at her.

"How're you so sure?" Joel asked, and she tilted her chin up towards the corner of the house. You both followed her gaze, noticing the cameras for the first time. They were small, it was no wonder you missed them, but they were there and definitely working. You could see a little red light flashing in the lens when the camera swooped across the lawn and over the driveway, where you all stood.

Joel slowly flicked his eyes around the house, counting at least seven cameras that he could see from his position. Then his gaze traveled to the barn, where he thought he could make out at least five more.

"How in the hell did you get taken from this place with all these cameras?" he asked. She didn't reply, and he wasn't really expecting an answer.

"So, what do we do?" you asked Joel quietly. "Do we just go up and knock?"

Joel twisted around to glance at Ellie, but she wasn't paying attention. She fidgeted her fingers inside her long sleeves as she stared out across the wide open dusty, dirty land the house was built on.

"I'll go up and knock, you two stay back," he decided, wiping the sweat from the back of his neck before venturing further down the driveway. The sun was blazing, even more so in the desert with little to no shade. You couldn't imagine how uncomfortable Ellie must have been in her long sleeves.

"That's far enough!" a man's voice rang out. Joel stopped dead in his tracks, whipping his head around to try to locate the source. Then he saw movement. An older man with a scraggly grey beard and balding head emerged from the barn, aiming a rifle right at Joel. He held his hands up in the air, showing from a distance that he meant no harm.

"Is that your uncle?" you whispered, holding your hands up as well.

"Yeah, that's Uncle Dave," she said, but she seemed unbothered by the threat. In fact, she shoved her hands in her pockets as she waited for him to approach.

"We aren't lookin' for trouble," Joel called out as Dave slowly made his way closer, his eyes transfixed on Joel. "We're here-"

"Toss your weapons on the ground!" Dave ordered, readjusting his grip on his rifle.

"Okay," Joel said, nodding, and slowly reached around to pluck the handgun from the back of his pants with two fingers. He held it up and gently tossed it on the ground in front of him.

"You too, missy," Dave said without even looking at you. You followed suit, slowly removing your gun and tossing it on the ground at your side. When you were no longer armed, Dave relaxed a bit, letting his shoulder drop but still aiming the rifle at Joel's chest. He finally allowed his gaze to drift behind Joel, looking briefly at you before his eyes landed on Ellie. He hesitated and swallowed roughly before forcing out a harsh chuckle.

"Well, I'll be damned," he said, a slow smirk spreading across his face. "Junebug! Get out here, you ain't never gonna believe this!"

A rounder woman with glasses and tight curly blonde hair emerged from the barn behind Dave, a scowl painting her features as she walked forward, aiming a revolver at Joel. When she looked over and noticed Ellie, her expression changed. Her eyebrows shot up in surprise and she let her gun fall to her side.

"Ellie!" the woman cried out, trotting clumsily down the driveway towards you. You looked down at Ellie, expecting her to finally show some excitement, but she only offered them a pained smile.

"Hiya, Aunt June," Ellie said before being enveloped in a huge bear hug.

"Oh, my sweet girl! I thought I would never see you again," June said with tears in her eyes. Dave watched the two reunite from his position in front of Joel, the rifle now slung over his shoulder.

Ellie stepped back and introduced you and Joel to her family. She explained you were helping her and keeping her safe, and the two adults began to warm up to you after that.

"Please, why don't you stay the night?" June offered. "We'll make you dinner and give you a warm bed, it's the least we could do." Ellie turned to you and nodded, a genuine smile finally spreading across her face.

You felt Joel hesitate next to you, but you quickly accepted her offer, not ready to leave Ellie just yet. He gave you a sideways glance before giving June and Dave a tight smile and followed them into the house, only after picking up your weapons from the ground.

The inside of the house matched the outside. It was well lived in and dated, but it was clean. You glanced around the living room, noticing there didn't seem to be any family pictures around, just landscape art and a clock on the wall.

June gave you a brief tour of the small house and showed you their spare bedroom, where you and Joel left your backpacks.

"Why don't you help me in the kitchen, dear, and leave the men to their own devices," June said, her pink cheeks pinching into a smile. You looked at Joel, trying to read his expression. He gave you a quick nod, confirming he was comfortable with being separated, and you returned her smile.

"That sounds great," you told her.

Dave led Joel down into the basement, explaining along the way that he would be 'blown away' by his set up down there. Ellie had mentioned they were preppers, and based on the cameras, you had to assume the basement was remodeled to be a safe room or a bunker.

You helped June chop up vegetables while she kneaded dough to make chicken pot pie. Your mouth watered at the prospect of a home cooked meal.

"We've been traveling for over a week, eating mostly trail mix and rabbit. This will be wonderful, thank you so much," you told her.

"Of course, dear. It's no trouble at all. Ellie!" June called out. Ellie came around the corner, her sketch pad hanging limply at her side.

"C'mon, girl, you forget how to help out around here?" June asked, her brows furrowed for a moment before she realized how harsh she sounded. She turned to you and laughed, her features relaxed again. "Kids, you know?"

You smiled and looked back at Ellie to gauge her reaction. She seemed quiet and closed off, but you brushed it off, chalking it up to the long day.

June held out a butcher knife to her, and Ellie hesitated, her eyes flicking from her aunt to the knife.

"Auntie, please don't make me," she said, eyes wide.

"You know the rules, don't tell me you forgot now," she replied lowly. Ellie reached out a shaky hand to pick up the knife.

"What is this?" you asked, putting your hand out to stop her.

"Well, we need chicken for the chicken pot pie, don't we now?" June said sweetly, and you were beginning to feel like that ruddy smile of hers was a little fake.

"I'll do it," you said, stepping in front of Ellie, hand outstretched for the knife.

"Now, I appreciate the offer, dear, but Ellie understands it's part of her chores, right?" she said, narrowing her eyes at Ellie. She nodded slowly, her gaze drifting to the floor.

"She can chop the vegetables and I'll take care of the chicken," you told her, your tone becoming more insistent.

June's watery eyes wavered between you and Ellie as she weighed her options. You glanced down at the butcher knife in her red, flour covered hands, then looked back at her.

"I insist," you said darkly, dropping the fake pleasantries. June's gaze dragged up to remain locked on you.

"Girl's gotta learn to be comfortable with killing," she replied, but you reached out and snatched the knife from her grip before she had a chance to blink.

"That's alright, I could use some practice, myself," you told her, refusing to break eye contact.

The tension in the room was thick, even Ellie was shifting her weight, trying to make herself as small as possible. You waited for June to try to argue with you again or say something to Ellie that didn't sit right, but it never came. As if storm clouds passed, her eyes cleared up and she blinked at you, a smile spreading across her flushed cheeks.

"Well, then," she said, dusting her hands on her apron. "Coop's out back. Suppose we should thank our guest, right Ellie?" June said, raising an eyebrow at the girl. Ellie nodded and looked up at you.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

"No problem, kid," you muttered, giving June one last glance before heading out the back door.

"This here's an AK-47, got maybe six of these fuckers," Dave said, his fingertips grazing the weapon on the wall as he passed. "Just about anything you can think of, I probably got two of 'em."

For someone who hoarded weapons in an underground bunker, Joel would have thought the man would be a little more subtle. A little less eager to show a complete stranger his entire stash. But then again, men like Dave loved to show off. If they couldn't boast about it, then what was the point?

"Real nice set up you got here," Joel murmured, knowing the man was waiting for a compliment. Dave's chest puffed with pride before he opened a sliding door in the back of the basement, revealing a small room filled with different sized monitors, cameras all cycling through the different angles he had covering his property. Joel was wrong: he had way more than just the cameras he saw. They rotated to different views all around the outside of the house. He noticed the only cameras that were monitoring indoors were in the barn where he saw an old John Deere tractor and a pickup truck flash on the screen.

"Jesus," Joel whispered, taking a step forward, but still not entering the small room. "How the hell you manage to watch these all the time?"

"Ah," Dave said proudly, tapping his finger against his temple. "I got motion alerts. Sends out an alarm when I'm sleeping or taking a shit or whatever. Gets annoying, though. Mostly just birds or other animals, so I turn it off during the day. But sometimes... sometimes I get something good."

"Like us?" Joel said, and Dave laughed.

"Yeah... yep, exactly like you," he replied, trailing off as he stared at Joel.

"Y'know," Dave said after a moment, stepping back to shut the door. "There's folks around here who pay good money for things, if you're ever in the market to buy or sell."

"We don't got much, but we're doin' just fine," Joel said, beginning to feel uneasy.

"Nah, see, that's where you're wrong, friend," Dave replied, pouring two glasses of whiskey and handing one to Joel. "You do got somethin'."

Joel held the glass tightly, bringing it up to his lips and pretending to take a sip before setting it down. Something told him he should keep his wits about him. He raised his eyebrows at Dave, waiting for him to continue.

"That girl with you up there," he began, and Joel felt his stomach twist at the mention of you. "She would fetch you a fair price with the folks I know."

Joel froze, doing his damndest to not let his emotions show. The pieces were starting to click. He clenched his jaw and swallowed lightly before taking a deep breath.

"That right?" he replied, urging him to continue. He needed to get back upstairs, for the first time realizing you all might be in danger.

"Hell yeah. Medicine, food, weapons. I'm sure of it," he said with a click of his tongue. "I make one radio call and they could be here in two days."

"Hm," Joel replied, clenching his fists behind his back. "Lemme think on it, yeah?"

"Sure, sure," he said with a wave. "Don't think too long, though. One day, someone'll take her. It's just a matter of if you get to benefit from it or not, you get me?"

Jesus fucking Christ.

"Yeah," Joel said. "I get you."

Joel decided you weren't leaving his sight. He was relieved when June called down, letting them know dinner was ready, so he could make sure you were okay without making an excuse to leave and raise suspicion. A man like Dave with a whole arsenal at his disposal wasn't someone he wanted to tangle with. He had to be careful.

A cynical part of him wondered if he should be worried about the food, but he knew you helped prepare it. You were smart, you would have noticed if something was going on.

But when he climbed the stairs and locked eyes with you, he knew something was wrong. You didn't show it, but he could tell by the way your smile didn't reach your eyes.

He settled down at the table as you and June scooped out the meal on everyone's your plates while Ellie silently brought everyone glasses of water. When she set Joel's down, he tried to catch her eye, but she wouldn't look at him.

"Ellie, why don't you get Joel 'n me whiskies. You ladies want anything stronger?" Dave asked, tucking his napkin into his shirt. You shook your head and politely declined as you took your seat next to Joel, your knee purposely knocking against his under the table. He glanced at you, your lips pressed in a thin line as you looked down at your food, not wanting to raise suspicion but desperately wanting to warn him that these people seemed off.

"You know, I've been meaning to try that margarita mix we traded for last week," June said thoughtfully. "Ellie, let me show you how to make it." June waddled out of the kitchen and into the living room, behind Ellie. You heard their voices carrying over faintly as June instructed her how to make her drink.

"This looks great, honey. What's in it?" Joel asked, turning and giving you a pointed look. Honey. He never called you that. It got your attention, and you gave him a quick, curious look before you understood his underlying question. Is this safe to eat? Your gaze drifted back to Dave, who was watching the two of you talk.

"Just normal stuff," you told him. "Nothing special. Veggies, chicken."

His eyes bored into yours, trying to communicate silently with you. You figured it out. Something happened in the basement that worried him, the same way June's behavior worried you.

"Alright, let's dig in!" June said cheerily, entering the kitchen with a yellow drink in her hand. Ellie followed dutifully behind with two glasses of whiskey, placing them in front of the men before sitting across from you.

"This is great, Junebug," Dave told his wife after a few forkfuls. June smiled as she sipped from her glass. You and Joel choked down the meal, offering your compliments and thanks once again, while Ellie silently pushed her food around her plate.

"Not a whiskey man, Joel?" Dave asked, his eyes growing glassy from the drink he had in the basement and now his second one.

"It's just been a long journey," Joel explained, but took a small sip anyway. "Feelin' real tired, is all."

Ellie glanced up and looked at Joel, knowing full well he wasn't tired. In the short time she knew him, it was like pulling teeth to admit he was tired. She looked back and forth between him and you, trying to read your faces without being obvious.

"Quit playing with your food," June told her harshly, finishing up her margarita. "You should be so lucky to have a roof over your head and food in your belly."

Joel stiffened next to you but didn't look up from his plate, his mind racing, trying to formulate a plan.

"You know what? That drink looked good," you said suddenly. "Ellie, why don't you show me if you remember how to make it?" You stood up from the table and Ellie jumped to her feet to follow you.

"Bring me another, too," June barked as Ellie followed you around the corner to the bar cart in the living room.

"What the hell is going on here, Ellie?" you muttered quietly, picking up the margarita mixer and pouring it into a glass.

"It's how they always are," she whispered. "They aren't exactly good with kids, but it's fine."

"No, it's not fine," you whispered back, holding your hand out to keep her from pouring tequila in your glass, choosing to just drink the mixer, not wanting alcohol to dull your senses. You nudged her hand to make her pour a little extra tequila in her aunt's glass. "This isn't how you should be living."

"Well, I don't have much of a choice, do I?" she asked sharply before turning on her heel and heading back into the kitchen. You trailed after her, finding your seat next to Joel and taking a sip of the fake drink and trying to ignore the guilt. You had no idea how you were going to be able to leave her behind with these people.

You helped June clean up the dishes after dinner while the men filed into the living room. Joel had drank his first glass, but held up his hand when Dave offered a second, rubbing his eyes and reminding him how tired he felt. He needed to get you alone and get you the hell out of here, paranoid that Dave would call those people to do a "trade" for you like he was already suspecting happened originally with Ellie. What else would explain kidnappers being able to bypass his security system?

As if reading his mind, Dave asked "Think any more about what I told you downstairs?"

Joel yawned, trying to hide his anger by contorting his face.

"Lemme sleep on it, get back to you in the mornin', I'm beat," he said, hoping he wasn't laying it on too thick. If he was, Dave didn't seem to notice, the whiskey doing its job by keeping him oblivious.

"Alright now, Ellie. Time to get ready for bed," June said, her drink sloshing in her glass. "Say goodbye and thank you to your friends."

You could see the despair in Ellie's face. Trying hard not to cry, you wrapped her in a hug and whispered it will be okay in her ear before pulling back, swallowing hard. She was about to reach for her sketch pad when, much to your surprise, Joel suddenly leaned down and pulled her into a hug. Ellie also looked shocked, not sure what to do at first but eventually brought her arms up around his ribs. You thought you could see him whisper something in her ear, but it happened so fast, you weren't sure.

"Okay, off you go," June told her, and Ellie quickly walked down the hall without another word. You watched her go, tears threatening to spill down your cheeks.

You sat next to Joel, trying to appear interested in what her aunt and uncle were talking about, but you realized it didn't matter the more they drank. Joel's hand dropped on the couch next to you, grasping your hand and stroking his thumb over your knuckles. You looked up at him sadly as he tried to wordlessly say it's okay, I'll get us out of this.

After another hour, Dave stood to tend to the fire, stumbling in the process. June chuckled, her face redder than usual.

"Time for bed, old man," she teased, and he grunted in response, pushing a log around with the poker before straightening back up.

"Suppose you're right, Junebug," he replied. You could hear the alcohol in his voice, the way he spoke slightly louder and slower than usual.

"You two need anything, you just holler," June said, pushing herself off the couch. "Clean sheets are in the closet."

You and Joel stood, watching as they made their way slowly down the hall to their bedroom, June mumbling to Dave until their door quietly clicked shut.

You immediately swiveled around to Joel but he clamped a hand over your mouth, shaking his head. You nodded and he removed his hand, leading you down the other end of the hall to the guest room, and shut the door.

"Joel-"

He held his finger to his lips before he made his way around the room, checking the furniture and closet for any possible hidden cameras or bugs. When he was satisfied, he finally spoke.

"Don't get comfortable. When they fall asleep, we're leavin'," he whispered.

"We can't leave her here," you said, sweeping your arm towards the door.

"I know," he said, and you breathed a sigh of relief. "They'll sell her off again the first chance they get."

"Wait, what?" you asked, eyes wide. "I thought someone snatched her?"

"I really fuckin' doubt it," Joel said, running his fingers through his hair. "When we were in the basement, that asshole was tryin' to convince me to sell you to slavers. Said if I don't do it, somebody'll take and sell you anyway. Sounded awful lot like a threat, if you ask me."

"Jesus Christ, Joel!" you whispered, wrapping your arms around your ribs and pacing nervously around the room. "So you think they sold Ellie into slavery? Their own niece?"

"Wouldn't put it past 'em. You should see the shit he's got in that basement. Must've cost a fortune. I'm sure Ellie wasn't the only one they sold off."

It started to make sense. The way June spoke to and treated Ellie like she was a servant didn't leave you feeling warm and fuzzy.

"But they seemed so happy to see her," you said, thinking back.

"Yeah, probably saw her as another paycheck. Two for one," Joel said with a scoff.

"So what's the plan?" you asked him, biting on your fingernail anxiously.

"Give it an hour or so," he began, sitting down on the bed. "Make sure they're passed out. Then, you go get the kid, and I'll go to the basement. I gotta figure out how to turn off the motion alerts on those cameras so they don't wake up. Then we get the fuck outta here."

"Okay," you said quietly, sitting down next to him, stunned. Twenty minutes ago, you just thought they were bad guardians. You had no idea it was this bad. You buried your face in your hands, feeling guilty for bringing Ellie back into this house. You should have fought harder to get her to stay in Jackson. Now, you all ended up in danger, anyway.

"We have to try to warn Tommy and Maria," you whispered. "What if something happens? It'll take us a week to get home."

"Maybe not," Joel replied. "I saw on his cameras that they got a truck in that barn."

Joel stuck his head out into the hallway, craning his neck to listen for any movement from the master bedroom. After a few minutes of silence, he looked back at you and nodded. Quietly, you followed him down the hall, pausing outside of Ellie's room. Before you could open the door, Joel put his hand over yours. He cupped your face and quickly pressed a kiss against your lips, then pulled back to look deep into your eyes while his thumb caressed your cheek.

I'll get us out of here, I'll keep us safe.

You nodded, understanding without him having to say a word. He dropped his hand and made his way down the hall to the basement door, clicking on his flashlight before descending the stairs.

Taking a deep breath, you slowly pushed the bedroom door open. You took care to close it gently behind you, then turned around to find Ellie fully dressed and waiting for you at the foot of her bed.

"Hey," you whispered, and she stood up, slinging her backpack over her shoulder.

"I'm ready," she whispered back.

"How did you-"

"Joel told me," she said quietly. "He said to keep my bag packed, and not to fall asleep."

So he did whisper something in her ear when he hugged her.

"Okay, good," you breathed, trying to hide your nervousness.

"I packed all new clothes, and a few other things I wanted. Do you think I need anything else?"

"You have your flashlight?" you asked.

"Yep. And I got this," she said, proudly reaching into her pants pocket and pulling out a switchblade.

"Where did you get that?"

"Does it matter?" she replied.

"Just be careful with that thing, put it away," you told her. She folded it back up and shoved it into her jeans.

You poked your head out of her door, making sure the coast was clear before taking a step out. You made it two feet before Ellie's hand shot out and grabbed your arm, pulling you back into her room just in time. The master bedroom door swung open and June hobbled out in her nightgown, making her way groggily to the bathroom. You and Ellie stood with your ears pressed against the bedroom door, listening intently as the toilet flushed and the sink ran.

"Where's Joel?" Ellie mouthed.

You pointed down to the floor and mouthed back basement.

You waited until you heard her door click shut and the squeak of the boxspring before opening Ellie's door again. Silently, you made your way down the hall and to the dark kitchen, where you waited for Joel.

"What's he doing?" she said as softly as possible.

"Motion sensors," was all you said back. She shook her head.

"He won't know - I'll do it," she replied, and before you could stop her, she opened the door and made her way down the steps, turning her flashlight on in the process. You went after her as quickly and quietly as you could, knowing Joel wouldn't expect you to be down there.

You entered the bunker, taking a second to gawk at all the guns adorned on the walls. There was also an elaborate looking radio and a workbench filled with electrical parts. You passed five dressers that looked to be filled with different types of ammunition, and you thought you even saw a couple grenades.

"Joel," you whispered, and you heard him shuffle near the back of the room. You swung your flashlight towards the noise, your heart pounding in your ears. He stepped out from behind a tall shelf of canned goods, shaking his head and holstering his revolver.

"This wasn't the plan," he scolded with a deep frown, but before you could explain, Ellie pushed past you both and made her way to the little room in the back that housed all of the security system equipment.

"Ellie!" Joel whispered, going after her.

"I know what I'm doing," she said over her shoulder. He glanced back at you and you shrugged.

"There, the alarm is turned off and so is the recording," she said, emerging from the room. Joel gave her a confused look.

"Recording?" you repeated.

"Yeah, the cameras record everything. So they won't know what direction we go when they wake up tomorrow and try to review the footage," she explained, looking at you like it was obvious before heading to the stairs.

"Did you know-" you began to ask, but Joel cut you off.

"Hey, wait," he whispered, making Ellie stop on the bottom step. He unscrewed the cap of whiskey Dave had shared with him earlier and poured it all over the radio, watching as it sparked a bit. And for good measure, he cut the wire that powered the device before making his way toward the stairs, pushing past Ellie to lead you both out of the house.

Joel led you to the barn, maneuvering on the soft grass instead of the noisy gravel. There was a standard padlock on the door, which he was able to break relatively easily with his hunting knife. He was beginning to realize Ellie's aunt and uncle had all the appearances of being survivalists, but lacked most of the skills. He had lost count of the things he would have done differently if he was defending his own home.

Still, he didn't want to wake them when he was so close to safety. So, he put the truck in neutral and had Ellie steer from the driver's seat while the two of you pushed the car down the long driveway, waiting until it reached the road before making Ellie move to the back and starting it up.

He drove for a few hours until you were both struggling to keep your eyes open, the adrenaline that was previously fueling you both long since worn off.

"Let's pull off here, maybe we can find some gas before we head out in the mornin'," Joel said softly, trying not to wake Ellie.

"Okay," you said quietly, staring out the window as he got off the interstate. He drove for another half hour until he found a volunteer fire hall.

There were a few abandoned cars in the large lot when you pulled in. Joel parked the truck and turned to you.

"Lemme go in and check it out, you stay with the kid," he said, unbuckling his seatbelt.

"I'll come with you," you said, but he held out his hand.

"Stay," he repeated firmly, and you shook your head.

"What if-"

"Just do as your told for once," he snapped. You clamped your mouth shut, too tired to argue. He was clearly annoyed that you improvised back at the house and brought Ellie in the basement.

"Fine," you seethed, and he slid out of the truck. You watched with your arms crossed as he approached the door, shining his flashlight inside the window before working on the lock and pushing his way in. You could see the beam of his flashlight through the windows as he moved from room to room, carefully checking out each one before finally coming back out to let you know it was clear.

"Ellie," you whispered, nudging her shoulder gently. Her eyes fluttered open and she sat up with a yawn, turning around to try to figure out where you were.

"We're gonna stay here for the rest of the night and try to get some sleep before hitting the road tomorrow," you explained as you hopped out of the truck.

She silently followed you into the building, where Joel was waiting, holding the door open. He led you both up the stairs where the firefighters had a small living space with bunk beds. Ellie snagged the first one she saw, curling up with the blanket that was already draped over the bed and falling back asleep.

"You good?" Joel asked, looking over as you flopped down on one of the beds.

"Yeah, are you?" you replied. He sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"Long fuckin' day," he murmured.

"Why don't I keep watch tonight and you get some rest, I'll sleep in the car tomorrow," you told him. You could tell he wanted to argue with you but his exhaustion won.

"Yeah, alright," he agreed after a moment.

You stood back up, checking your gun before heading back downstairs. After you peeked out the windows to confirm everything was all quiet, you wandered around the first floor a bit. It looked like after the outbreak, the building may have acted as a safe zone. There were abandoned bags, cots, blankets, and trash overflowing in the bins.

You were looking through some duffel bags for anything useful when you heard a noise outside. You froze, quickly pulling your gun from the back of your jeans as you made your way cautiously out into the room. At first glance, your flashlight didn't show anything out of the ordinary. You were about to give up when you heard the same noise again. Whipping to your left, you advanced towards the sound with your gun drawn.

The last thing you remember is a hand gripping your throat from behind and a needle slipping into your neck.

Tag List @nana90azevedo @ninaminaromina @untamedheart81 @taz-97 @nastiasnow @amyispxnk @plz-be-solo @iloveramensm @caitlynsixxx @anoverwhelmingdin @harriedandharassed @jessthebaker @txtattoostark @merz-8 @sarap-77 @sarahhxx03

[to-the-stars8]

Learning to Love Slowly

Jason Todd x Reader All Chapters AO3 18+ MDNI here's your nickleback smut, for context find that post about me listening to nickleback. also I didn't re-read this bc I'm just too tired lol

54-Positions and Pillow Talk

“Oh, fuck, don’t stop,” You gasped, turning to scream into the pillow. From this angle, he was hitting just the right spots and incredibly fucking deep. “Just like that. Oh, shit, Jason!”

The way you said his name, breathlessly and full of lust, had Jason’s heart fluttering while his cock twitched. Looking down at you like you were a gift he’d been wanting for years, Jay gripped at your ass until there were indentions of his fingers left behind. It would leave bruises, he knew, but he decided that the guilt could come later. Yet, that wasn’t enough. He wanted to be closer. 

Jason groaned as he pushed into you as deep as he could until he bottomed out, and his chest was against your back. Your body went limp for a second, and he looked up just in time to see you turn to let out another string of loud moans into the pillow. 

Smiling, he asked, “You good, sweetheart?”

Sweaty and flushed, you weakly hummed a yes. Jason insisted to hear your voice as he moved pieces of hair from your mouth. “Yes, I just—You’re so fucking good…”

You couldn’t finish your sentence as Jason started to slowly thrust again, pressing sloppy kisses into your shoulder as he did. His hand snaked around your waist, his fingers tracing a sweaty line from the bottom of your breasts to between your legs. 

You put your hand on his, mumbling something incoherent as your eyes fluttered closed again. Jason thought about stopping, seeing how overstimulated you were and not wanting to push too far, but he remembered that you’d let him know when enough was enough. And, by the whine you gave, hand pushing against his, you wanted more. 

Jason moaned into your hair as his fingers finally found the place he’d been searching for. You were soaked, the wetness causing his fingers to easily slide against your clit, finding the just right rhythm you liked. 

Jason steadied himself with his other hand as he slowly pulled out before slamming into you again. You yelped in surprise, hands scrabbling to find something to cling onto until one found the pillow next to you and the other found his forearm. 

“You look so pretty,” Jason whispered against your ear, picking up the pace of his thrusts. 

You looked up at him, eyes glazed over but a sincere, sweet smile on your face as you tried to get out a thank you. Yet, when he hit that spot again, your eyes closed and you thinned your lips to contain another moan. Jason couldn’t have pictured a prettier sight, nor anything else he’d rather be doing than you. 

Before you made a sound, he felt you come undone, pussy fluttering around his cock. It made his movements stutter for a second, because, for how good he was at finding all the right places in you, you were somehow better at doing the same to him. Jason groaned, forehead pressing against the back of your shoulder as he concentrated to not cum just yet. He wanted this feeling to last a little longer, to be right on the edge yet again. 

When you finally turned your face from the pillow, you tried to look at Jason over your shoulder, hand on his arm weakly stroking him reassuringly. Breathless, weakly, you asked, “How we doin’ back there, honey?”

Jason chuckled, pressing another kiss to your shoulder, “We’re good, baby. You good for me to keep going?”

“Yeah, but wait,” You said sheepishly. “Can we change positions? I wanna try a new one.”

Jason nodded, a bit hesitant at first because he liked the way the two of you were— You were certainly enjoying it in any case. Though, that didn’t stop him from slowly removing himself from you with a whimper. 

Taking the arm you already holding, you pulled him to lie behind you on his side, essentially making him spoon you. Jason, once he realized what you were doing, was enthusiastic about fucking you while essentially cuddling. He slipped his hand under your ass and up the back of your thigh, pushing your leg up in the air so he could align himself back at your entrance. There was little resistance as he pushed in, only taking a second to make sure you were okay before bucking his hips against you again. 

He was thrusting faster and wild this time, losing a lot of the constraint from before. Jason liked this position, it gave him easier access to other parts of your body and he just felt a fuck ton closer to you. Skin pressed against skin, and there was no hiding your face into a pillow or hiding how much you liked it. As you were quickly a blubbering mess, nails digging into Jason’s forearms as his arms held you to him so incredibly tight. 

He was whispering shit into your hair, but fuck all if you were listening—completely blocking him out when his fingers found your clit again. You squealed, still sensitive from earlier. Jason groaned, his lips finding the nape of your neck and sucking a hickey into the soft skin. While you attempted to turn your head to kiss him, you finally came again. Your orgasm was sudden and unanticipated, washing over you so quickly that you didn’t have time to register Jason finally capturing your lips with his. 

“Jason,” You sobbed, turning to look down at where your bodies conjoined. You could see your slick covering the inside of your thighs and his cock, and it send butterflies to your stomach. Suddenly, you cried out, “Fuck, I want you to come in me.”

Jason whimpered lightly into your ear, a sound so sweet and pitiful. He was so close, you could feel him twitch inside you as he tried to pull you closer. With both arms wrapped around your waist, his hips snapped forward in desperation. 

“Oh, fuck,” He whispered into your ear. “I’m gonna…fuck, sweetheart—Gonna cum.”

Before you could say anything he stilled, letting out a breathy moan against your ear. Having him cum in you was another kind of pleasure you didn’t know you’d been yearning for, and he certainly had been holding back. When Jason pulled out, whimpering as he did, he couldn’t help himself as he push himself back in—causing an obscene squelch sound you didn’t think be recreated outside of porn. 

“Shit,” He breathed against your ear after a few minutes. “You’re so fucking good.”

Letting out a quick laugh, you turned to give him a peck on the lips. “Right back at ya, handsome.”

Jason chuckled before loosening his grip around your waist, just enough that you took the opportunity to wiggle away. As much as you loved the feeling of his cum in you, you never quite liked the mess. 

“Babe, no,” Jason whined. “Stay.”

You giggled, trying to withstand the jelly feeling in your legs, before waddling to the bathroom. Jason smiled to himself as he sat up, reaching for his phone. “Are you hungry, sweetheart?” He had felt hungry for the past hour but was too entrenched in the sex to pay attention to the feeling. “I’m famished.”

“Who the fuck says famished, Jason?” You called back, laughing. 

He snickered, “People who read.”

“I read!” Your voice grew louder as you opened the door. “And, yes, I am very hungry.”

Jason shook his head, “Said like someone who doesn’t read.”

You laughed, picking out some clothes from your drawer before turning to him again. “You know, I bet there is no one else in the entire world who has sexier pillow talk than us.”

Jason’s laugh was a low rumble that was welcoming to the ears and you abandoning the clothes you had picked out. Almost instantly he noticed what you were doing, putting his phone off to the side and saying, “Well, look what all that lack of reading and too much talking is about to get you now.”

[wolfjackle-creates]

Bring Me Home Arc 3 Part 3

Again the winner of last week's poll! There won't be a poll this week because I'm planning something a bit different. I hit 1000 followers this past week and have been wracking my brain about how to celebrate! Wasn't up for doing prompts or adding more projects to my list, though, so I didn't want to go that route.

But I did come up with something that I think everyone will really enjoy. Especially those of you who have been voting for Carry Your Heart (I see you in the tags!). So look out for that post.

In addition, I've just posted the first chapter of Arc 2 on AO3! Link below.

Story Summary: Jack and Maddie install a new ghost shield on the house which activates the moment Danny tries to step into his home. His secret is out and his parents are determined to excise the ghost from their son.

Luckily Danny isn't alone. The Young Justice, Sam, Tucker, and Jazz aren't going to leave him to suffer.

Arc 1: AO3

Arc 2: AO3 (incomplete); Tumblr - First, Final

Arc 3: First, Previous

Word Count: 1.4k

-----

Fire rushing through him jolted Danny awake. His back arched as he cried out. He screwed his eyes tight, not wanting to see what torture his parents were going to come at him with next when he realized what the sound of his cry meant: the muzzle was gone.

As were the restraints. And he was lying on something soft. Trying hard not to hope, he opened his eyes.

Sam and Jazz were leaning over him, concern clear on their faces. They were in some sort of ambulance or van.

“How are you feeling,” demanded Sam.

Danny took a moment to answer, his chest was pure agony. He didn’t even want to think what it would feel like to sit up. And even past that, everything was sore. Though the fire that had woken him up had dissipated, the tell-tale feel of ecto-dejecto. “Pretty much the worst I’ve ever felt,” he answered honestly.

Sam and Jazz both winced and his sister grabbed his hand. He squeezed her fingers weakly.

At the foot of his bed stood Tim in full Red Robin getup and Kon as Superboy.

He couldn’t hold back the smile as he met Tim’s gaze. “You came,” he said.

Tim didn’t smile back, but some tension eased out of his shoulders. “I always will,” he said. “Been telling you that since we were ten years old.”

“I know. I’ve always known. Thank you.”

Jazz squeezed his hand again and he looked at her. “Red Robin and Superboy are going to take you away from here. Robin will help you recover.”

Sam nodded. “Yep. And the rest of us are gonna focus on making sure Amity is safe for ghosts once and for all.”

Danny shook his head. “I should be there with you guys, fighting.”

“Nope!” interrupted Jazz. “Not even a little. You’re going to focus on getting better, got it, Danny? That’s all we want from you.”

“But the ghosts—”

Sam covered his mouth with her hand. “Stop it right there. Tucker is working with Impulse and Wonder Girl to get the portal locked up. No one will be coming through. No one—ghost or human—will be in any danger while you’re gone. I promise.”

Danny slumped into the bed. Even the slight change in position caused waves of pain to radiate from his chest even through the healing ice he could feel implanted in his body. He whimpered and closed his eyes until the throbbing receded just a bit. “I trust you. I do, it’s just…”

“You’re used to taking care of everyone,” finished Jazz for him. “We know. So let us take care of you for a change. We love you, Danny.”

“Love you, too, Jazz. Sam.”

“Be good for bird-brain there, got it?” ordered Sam.

Danny gave her a half-smile. “Are Tim and I ever good together?”

She laughed. “Well, don’t burn down Gotham, capiche?”

“Capiche.”

“We have to go now,” said Jazz.

Danny gripped her hand tighter. “Don’t leave me.”

Jazz winced, but leaned down to kiss his forehead. “We need to make sure the Guys in White aren’t going to get involved further. And you need to get someplace safe.”

Danny huffed a half laugh. “Gotham is safe?”

Jazz rolled her eyes at his poor attempt at a joke. “For you it is. Now, I’m leaving Red and Superboy with a case full of ectoplasm for you and our entire supply of ecto-dejecto. I just gave you your first injection. Please try and eat something and drink your ectoplasm regularly.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say, Jazz.”

Jazz sniffed and it was only then that Danny realized it was wetter than usual and her eyes were watery. He tried not to feel bad for his jokes when she replied, “Yes, it is whatever I say. Glad you agree.”

Sam cackled, and now that he was paying attention, Danny could hear the hysterical edge to it. “You’d better text us multiple times a day, ghost boy. Don’t try and lie to us, either. Kon’ll tell me the truth about your condition. And as soon as we can arrange it, we’re coming out your way for a visit.”

“Course I will, Sam. Give Tuck my best?”

“Duh. He wishes he could’ve come with us, you know.”

Danny nodded. “But he’s better with the tech stuff and that is just as time sensitive.”

“Yeah. Now, get some sleep,” Sam ordered. “You’ve got a long drive ahead of you.”

Danny gave the rote answer after too many all-nighters taking care of ghost attacks before school, “I’m dead, I don’t need sleep.”

His sister squeezed his hand. “Ghosts who just went through what you did need their sleep. Love you, Danny. Get well and I’ll see you soon.”

“Love you, Jazz.”

She kissed his forehead one more time, followed by Sam. And with another two rounds of farewells and love yous, he was alone with Tim and Kon.

“Thanks for coming,” he said again.

“Obviously we weren’t going to leave you there,” said Kon. “Being a lab subject isn’t fun. Especially not that kinda lab experiment.”

Danny couldn’t quite hold back the flinch at that description. It was accurate, but blunt.

Tim walked over until he was sitting by Danny’s bed. “Just listen to Jazz and get some rest. We’re going to be taking the long route to Gotham by going south to start. If we stop for food in a few hours, think you could handle a smoothie?”

Danny shrugged and bit back a yawn. “Could try.”

“That’s all I ask.”

Kon moved towards the front of the vehicle as well. “Looks like it’s time for us to skedaddle. I’ll keep the road from jostling you, ghost-boy.”

Danny gave a small smile and let his eyes close. As he did, he tried to mumble his thanks and he hoped it came across.

---

The next time he woke was more gentle. Someone was tapping on his shoulder and calling his name. But even so, as he was pulled closer to awareness, the pain made itself more and more known. He tried to cling to the darkness, but the tapping wasn’t stopping, nor was the person calling him.

He blinked open his eyes to see Tim’s concerned face. He wasn’t wearing the domino anymore, or his costume. Just a sweatshirt and jeans.

“Hey, Danny,” said Tim. “I’m going to need you to try and eat a bit right now. Kon got us those smoothies I mentioned. I’ve also got yogurt if that’ll be easier for you. But the smoothie will have more nutrients.”

Danny closed his eyes. He wasn’t hungry and didn’t want to eat. Why did Tim have to bring him back to consciousness for this? He hurt and just wanted to sink back into oblivion.

The tapping on his shoulder began again. “I know, Danny. But you have to eat something. And you should take some ectoplasm, too. So just stay awake for a few minutes.”

“Mm ‘wake,” said Danny without opening his eyes. He shifted his weight, hoping to push himself up to eat, only to scream in pain as his chest protested any movement.

“Shit! Don’t move,” said Tim too late. “I’ve got a spoon here. I’ll feed it to you, okay? So just stay exactly where you are.”

Danny gripped his sheets, unable to do anything else as wave after wave of pain over took him. Tim kept up a litany of reassurances and stroked his hair. Eventually, Danny was able to think past it again.

“Don’t think I can sit up,” said Danny.

“Of course not,” agreed Tim. He held a styrofoam cup between his knees and carefully took off the lid and straw. “Just let me. Take at least a few bites. Swallow as is, don’t try and chew. Just do what you can, okay?”

“Okay,” agreed Danny and Tim fed him the first bite.

Danny hated this. Hated it so much. Here he was being spoon fed like a baby all because his parents… He shut his eyes and took the next bite. He wasn’t going to finish that thought. Tim was here and that’s what mattered.

Danny wasn’t sure how much he ate, but it couldn’t have been much. His eyelids were getting heavier and heavier and the pull of oblivion stronger.

“Wait, Danny. Stay awake just a little longer, okay?”

Danny groaned but forced his eyes open again.

Tim showed him a bottle of ectoplasm. “Just a few swallows of this, too. Okay?”

He didn’t want to. He’d rather just go to sleep again, but he opened his mouth obediently. By the time he finished his third spoonful, he couldn’t fight it anymore and slumped into the bed. The pain receded back into blackness for a time.

-----

Next

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Danny is going to be getting all the comfort throughout this. All of them will, tbh. Because no one is happy and they all need a hug or five.

Let me know what you think!

[silverskye13]

how did you get the confidence to write fanfiction? i always worry that i won't portray the characters properly so any ideas or wants to write fanfics that i have go away or i talk myself out of it :(

Well! First and foremost: Most people don't start writing,,,, anything with confidence. Let alone fanfic, where you know other people are going to be looking at it, with their own ideas of how the characters are supposed to act and feel influencing what they're coming to the story with. My first fanfic I was very insecure, which I feel like was evident, reading through the author's notes now. Apologies whenever something that required a lot of suspension of disbelief happened, a poll so readers could decide the ending so I wouldn't disappoint anybody, only to end in me writing and posting three different endings. Long justifications for why I chose certain things in the author's notes. The fic nowadays reads to me like a very rough apology.

"Hi I'm sorry I tried. Be kind I'm very scared."

But the thing about writing that fic was, it was the writerly equivalent of jumping into the deep end of the pool for the first time. After I bobbed back to the surface and realized a shark hadn't like, taken my legs off while I was down there, jumping in again got easier. And kept getting easier. And now I just write and post things.

There's kind of two schools of thought that I've seen people subscribe to, when it comes to taking the first leap. The one that's really popular around here on Tumblr is: Do it scared. It is simple and straightforward. You are scared. You will be scared. You probably never won't be scared. So do it scared. Write your thing, close your eyes and hit send [either to post it or to share it with one or two friends, or even just hitting the "save" button and not deleting it]. Get scared, do it, close your eyes, finish. When you open your eyes again and nothing terrible has happened, you can breathe a sigh of relief and do it scared again. It's a little nerve-wracking at first, but the idea is giving your mind the association of jumping and not falling. I did it and I didn't fail, therefore it is safe to do it again.

The other school of thought [the one I specifically subscribe to] is: Do it once. What you think or feel about it doesn't matter. What matters is you did it once. Maybe it will be hell, or it'll suck terribly. Maybe you're really excited! And it turns out great! Maybe its a wild ride of ups and downs, and by the end you need a few months to catch your breath and decide if it was worth it. Regardless: you did it once. Now you know, if you want to, you can do it again. Now you can decide if its worth doing again. For me, the euphoria of finishing a project always far outweighs the trouble getting there, so the step forward of "Do it once" is powerful for me. And that can be broken down too. "Write one chapter." "Draw one drawing." "Clean one room in the house." There is no pressure to continue if its really that terrible, but you at least get to decide if one was worth it [and a solid 9 times out of 10, one was worth it enough to do it more.]

Now, all that said, if what you're worried about is writing the characters right and nothing else -- don't worry too much. Most people care less about how true to life the characters are, and care a lot more about consistency in the story. An example from RnS: In canon, Helsknight is a cartoonish villain with one motivation, and that motivation is taking over hermitcraft Doofenschmirtz style. To date, no one has come into my inbox demanding I change him, because he's so OOC he's basically an OC at this point. What people have come into my inbox about though, is "Hey, you established X in this chapter, but he said Y in this chapter. Was there a reason for that?" which is them saying, "Why didn't you keep your character consistent?" If you tell your audience what the expectations are for the story and you stick with them, they will stop caring about OOC moments and characterizations, and will trust you're going somewhere with your writing. Suspension of disbelief, your powerful friend! They put the world on their shoulders and carry and everybody watches and claps.

If you're also worried about consistency, then start out with one shots! There's a lot less room for error, no large, sweeping character arcs to keep track of. And stringing a bunch of one-shots together can give you practice with character consistency and progression without committing to something massive and overarching. If you're truly worried about making the characters exactly like Canon [or the Canon in your head], I recommend making little lists of character traits, or important things you want to keep in mind. At that point you're scared of your own consistency, and you just need a framework to keep yourself consistent enough for yourself, if that makes sense?

Hopefully! This helps! Sorry I'm a little scattered today :'D

[niningtori]

see me | chapter two: closer

pairing: choi beomgyu x you

summary: after another failed relationship, you're ready to accept your fate as hopeless. choi beomgyu has other plans, though. or, beomgyu's your best friend's little brother and he's tired of you treating him like a kid.

genre: romance, angst, angst with a happy ending, best friend's brother au

word count: 2-3k-ish

notes: as promised, here is chapter two :) i realize most people are actually waiting for chapter three of to know him is to love him, but somebody wanted to read this and i already had it written!! it also made me so happy that someone was interested in the first fic i posted on here 😭 i'm still working on chapter 3 of tkhitlm, but i will be bouncing back and forth between that and see me (which is how i like to write, don't worry). also, feedback is appreciated :,)

after an intervention with jia, you decide you're not going to forgive donghyun for his infidelity. it's tempting to just listen to him and move forward with your relationship, but you decide to put your dignity first and break up with him once and for all. for that, beomgyu is more grateful than you'll ever know.

jia suggests going on a trip with her and her boyfriend, yijun. you decisively reject her under the claim that you're unwilling to be the third wheel, but jia, ever the mastermind, placates you by inviting beomgyu. you're immediately a lot more willing than before. sure, you'd still be an extra wheel, but you could do so with company. you and beomgyu are friends — almost like family. the idea of going on a trip with them is exponentially more appealing when you know he'll be there with you. he could, in theory, bring one of the many girls who are always hanging off of him, but he's been more lowkey lately for reasons unknown to you.

the trip in question is to the closest beach. yijun has a beach house (you often joke about how she hit the jackpot with him) and you're finally ready to unwind and forget about your shitty reality. beomgyu is uncharacteristically quiet for the entire drive there, but you don't push because you assume he's not in the mood for you to. you plan on asking him about it when you get a moment alone, though.

the house has three bedrooms and you're beyond thankful. you'd feel awful if you had to share a room with jia just so you wouldn't have to room with beomgyu. you begin to imagine what would have happened if donghyun had come instead, but you shake off the thought as fast as you possibly can, though it lingers in the back of your mind.

jia and yijun are on the first level while you and beomgyu are on the second. you stare up the long staircase and sigh at the thought of having to heave your suitcase up there after such a tiring drive. then, as if reading your mind, beomgyu grabs your suitcase along with his and lugs them up the stairs without saying a word. you grin and comment on his chivalry and strength. the tips of his ears turn pink, but they are (thankfully) hidden under his long hair.

jia and yijun invite you to the beach, but you decide you're too tired and would rather stay in for the time being. you decide to take a quick nap, or at least you try to, but end up waking up so disoriented you briefly can't recall where you are and why. when you regain your senses and check your phone, you realize you've been out for at least 4 hours and the sky is already darkening. so much for an eventful first day.

with a grimace, you make your way down the stairs and to the living room, half expecting jia to make fun of you, but the only person you see is beomgyu. he's sitting there, posture relaxed while he fiddles with his phone. when you call out to him, he immediately drops it onto the floor.

"shit!" he exclaims.

"sorry, i didn't know i'd freak you out this bad," you remark sheepishly.

"it's okay," he says clearing his throat awkwardly. "how are you? did you sleep okay?"

"i woke up literally not knowing who i was. that's how good i slept." you both laugh at this and he shakes his head.

"hey, where are jia and yijun?" you ask.

"they're at the beach."

"still?"

"still."

"why didn't you go with them?" you question lightly with a tilt of your head.

"i dunno, just didn't feel like it," he lies with a cough. he just really didn't wanna leave you here alone, and if he could spend some one-on-one time with you, all the better.

"well, i'm hungry. do you want to get dinner together?" you assumed jia and yijun were probably out to eat on their own.

"do you mean going out?"

you steal a glance at the mirror hanging above the couch and catch a glimpse of your drool encrusted mouth and bedhead. going out? no fucking way.

"i was thinking of just ordering chinese food?"

"sounds good to me."

when the food arrives, you make beomgyu go out to get it, arguing that you look like shit. he says you look fine and you roll your eyes at this. you took a four hour nap and you'll be damned if it doesn't show. if it was anyone else, you may have been embarrassed about your appearance, but it's just beomgyu. he certainly doesn't care about what you look like.

in between bites of your noodles, you laugh at beomgyu's storytelling. he's not being as quiet as before and he's talking about an unspecified friend's antics with two new situationships, only to find out he's been fucking two so-called best friends simultaneously. you groan at the revelation and cover your face in secondhand embarrassment. he doesn't spare any of the finer details and you're kicking your feet at the awkwardness.

he's acting normal more or less, but you can't help but notice how hesitant he seems at certain points. you're still set on asking him what's wrong, so after you're done laughing and reacting to his enthralling story, you find a quiet moment.

"beomie?"

"what is it?" he asks, smile still present from your infectious laughter.

"are you alright?" immediately, his smile drops and is replaced by a light frown.

"yeah... why wouldn't i be?"

"it just feels like you're not 100% here, is everything okay?" leave it to you to notice the almost imperceptible changes within him. even his own sister doesn't seem to notice how off he's felt lately, but his heart soars at how much you've been evidently paying attention.

"actually, i—" the front door swings open and jia comes in with yijun in tow.

"jesus, did you just wake up?" she asks, unimpressed with your current appearance.

"more or less," you grin. beomgyu can't help but grin too, but his smile falters when he realizes the conversation you two were having was cut short and he's unsure of when you two will be alone again.

"we brought you guys some food, but i guess we didn't need to," she says, eyeing the chinese food messily sitting on the coffee table.

"really? you're the best," you answer.

beomgyu thinks he gives his thanks too, but he honestly can't tell if he said it aloud or not. he's so disappointed because he felt like you two were finally getting somewhere, but he supposes he'll have time to talk to you again during the trip. he just hopes jia and yijun take a hint and fuck off for awhile sometime soon.

they don't. actually, it feels like jia is more glued to you than usual, which could be due in part to the heartbreak you've just borne, but he still can't help but feel indignant. he wants to tell her to kick rocks, but he can't — that would raise too much suspicion. so he sits patiently, like he always has, and waits.

in the meantime, the rest of his crew is blowing up his phone — coaching him on how to make subtle moves on you. sometimes, he stands behind you and grabs things you can't reach on your own, which seems innocuous enough, but he feels so close you can feel his breath on your neck and it takes everything in you not to shiver. other times, he gently touches your shoulder or knee when redirecting your attention. these harmless gestures are meaningless to you, but you have no idea how much courage it takes him to make these moves. you and beomgyu have touched each other before, so it's not like you question a single thing he does. in fact, you've hugged him, even, but that was only ever once and never again. you don't like to relive that memory for reasons unrelated to him, but he remembers everything.

-

being with doyoon was everything you ever hoped love could be. it was patient, it was kind, and it was unbreakable, at least to you. you didn't want to be naive, but after a few months, you already knew you wanted to marry him.

you always felt a little lost. the reason why you even went to college in the first place was mostly because you didn't want to be home anymore, not because of some grand plan for yourself and for your life. doyoon was the exact opposite. he knew exactly what he wanted and how to get it, but you loved him for that. he seemed so determined and sure of himself, everything you weren't. being with him made you want to be better. actually, being with him made you better. sure, you still weren't 100% sure what you were doing, but you knew you wanted more. whatever happened, you knew he'd be there to help you figure it out. or that's what you used to think, at least.

for three years, you tried to measure up to him. you wbeing with doyoon was everything you ever hoped love could be. it was patient, it was kind, and it was unbreakable, at least to you. you didn't want to be naive, but after a few months, you already knew you wanted to marry him.

for three years, you tried to measure up to him. you wanted to become someone worthy of him to the point where you abandoned a lot of who you used to be. good riddance to bad rubbish, you thought. no need for tears spilled over the loss of someone you didn't even like. jia would worry, though. she said you weren't acting like yourself because you were wound so tight you were no longer the easygoing person you always had been. you were hard on yourself to the point of tears at times, wanting so desperately to be someone doyoon could be proud of, but you fell short every time.

when you didn't get promotions and the internship you wanted, doyoon would always comfort you, but you knew he was disappointed. not with the fact that you failed, but just in you. he said you needed to apply yourself more, so you did. he said you had more potential than you even knew and he didn't want you to settle for anything less, but one day you couldn't help but ask "what if this is all i can do?!"

he was silent for a moment, seriously contemplating your question. you felt an unparalleled sense of dread while you waited for him to answer. why didn't he know his answer? why wasn't it "then i'll love you anyway"? why, why, why? eventually, he replied, and your dread was met with despair.

"then i can't be with you."

he said more after that. something about wanting different things, something about needing to find someone more compatible, something about needing to grow with someone instead of watching them wither. the last one in particular hurt the most. you had tried so, so hard to be someone you wanted to be around, but it was never enough. you felt like everything you did had been pointless and the person you had become was a façade. a really strong person wouldn't crumble the way you did. a really strong person wouldn't cling to his shirt and beg him to see the good in you, and you knew that, but you did it anyway.

when he inevitably left you as you sobbed alone, you wanted to see jia immediately, but she was home for the holidays. you tried calling on your drive over, but it went straight to voicemail. do not disturb, a nasty little feature. she must have been asleep. still, you drove over like a madman and paused several times when you couldn't see through your tears.

when you arrived at the choi's house, you knocked rapidly on the door — basically pounding on it. you sighed in relief when the door opened and you expected to see her face on the other side. what you didn't foresee was her little brother answering instead.

"what's wrong?!" he shouted in concern, taking in your pitiful frame. to this day you don't know why, but you took the 19-year-old beomgyu in your arms and released your sobs onto his chest. maybe you just needed somebody, anybody, to hold onto. and he let you. he pulled you in even closer and shut the door behind you. he shushed you as he gently rubbed circles into your shaking back and let you cry.

when you finally calmed down enough to talk, your voice was still choked and heavy with emotion.

"it's doyoon, h-he doesn't want me anymore. he said he can't be with me because i'm not — because i can't be good enough for him. he said we want different things, but we don't. i'm trying! can't he see that i'm trying?! can you see that i'm trying?!" you asked, not even really making sense, but beomgyu seemed to understand perfectly.

he knew jia had expressed concern for you and your relationship. she said you weren't acting like yourself anymore. she didn't mention that you would have meltdowns over not achieving what you felt you were supposed to achieve, but beomgyu overheard her consoling you more than once. he wanted to grab the phone from her and talk to you himself, but what could he say? that he saw you, the real you? that he could understand how you felt? that he always understood how you felt?

he couldn't before, but there you were, asking him the questions he always wanted you to ask. he wouldn't miss that chance.

"of course i can," he said softly. "of course i can. anyone can see it, and if they can't, they just don't know you." not like i know you.

"then — then why? why can't he understand me?" you seemed so lost he wished he could find the right words to soothe you. it felt like if he just said the right thing, maybe it would click for you that you just had the wrong person. maybe it would click for you that he could be the right person.

"because he's not the right person for you. the right person would never make you doubt yourself. the right person should make you want to be better on your own terms, not theirs. the right person would accept you just as you are even when you want to be something more."

you couldn't help but scoff at this.

"and who is the right person for me? who would want me the way i am right now?" you didn't mean to sound frustrated, but you were racking your brain trying to figure this shit out yourself too.

"i... i don't know." coward, he thought. "but i know he's out there. there's someone out there who really wants the best for you, but will never make you feel small while you're still trying to figure out what that looks like."

"i just want to know when that will be," you cried, fresh tears streaming down your cheeks. he almost took a chance to wipe your tears, but he opted to push your hair back behind your ears instead.

"it will be soon, just wait. don't cry. it's okay, don't cry."

you can't recall how long you cried after that, in spite of beomgyu's sincere pleas. after you were all cried out, you put your head on his shoulder and he tried not to visibly stiffen.

"thank you. you know, beomie, this might be weird to say, but i've always felt that you're like..." he gulped and hoped to god you didn't hear it. was this it?

"that you're like a little brother to me, honestly." he felt like he had been punched in the stomach. "i really hope that's not weird, but i really do love you. you're such a good friend to me." he felt like he had been kicked in the stomach, actually.

"any time. i mean it. i love you, too." the sentiment was a little different, but he was still glad to say it.

[lokisprettygirl]

Under his influence (Post Avengers! Loki x female reader)

Read chapter 11 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 12

Summary : Your relationship with Loki is growing, your mom tries to play a matchmaker again.

Warning: 18+, Soft Smut, mention of psychological torture, angst, insecurities, self deprecating behaviour, anxiety and overwhelming emotions

"Captain? " Loki called out for Steve as he was about to step out of the training room so he turned around and looked at Loki "May I have a word with you?"

"What is it?" Steve crossed his arms as he questioned.

"I wanted to discuss that statement you gave about me, that I was pretending to be you to steal the scepter" Steve chuckled as loki said that,

"Loki loki, everything is out in the open now, you can drop the act and your lies..it was probably something you did before you disappeared" Steve turned around to leave again

"But what if I'm not lying? What if I wasn't there? What if it wasn't me? Steve halted in his steps as he thought about it "Give it a thought"

Loki walked out , leaving Rogers to contemplate over his words. How could it be possible? He saw the exact doppelganger of him and only loki had the ability to do that. The doppleganger did seem a little different though.

Loki was supposed to be at some gala with other Avengers in the evening and the thought saddened you, mainly because you knew you probably won't see him tonight and you had seen him just twice in the last week, and he was also taking Melisaa to the gala so there were plenty of reasons to keep you anxious throughout the day. You knew he wasn't interested in her but there will be other women there, it was a fancy Gala and all famous rich people were invited, what if he meets someone interesting and they hit it off? What if he realizes that you weren't the best thing he could do in midgard.

Was it too soon to show him your crazy side yet? It's been almost five months since you had met him but it already felt like a lifetime, you have never had a man who made you feel so fulfilled and you didn't even have sex yet. He had so much more to offer to you than just sex, he understood you and your neediness but that could get tiring with time. That's what drove so many guys away from you because you showed them your crazy side too early.

You sat down on the sofa after work and turned the tv on, there was a red carpet and everything. You watched these people and you couldn't relate, you could never imagine yourself to ever be a part of such a circle. However Loki fit in just fine, he was a prince and it showed, his upbringing made it easier for him to blend with those pretentious people, watching him with Melissa hanging around in his arm only made you feel worse. He had a black suit on and he looked handsomer beyond this realm.

"Loki, a quick question..who are you wearing?" The girl interviewing all the celebs asked him and he seemed perplexed.

"Uhhh who am I wearing?" He looked at her confused so Melissa answered on his behalf, the furrowed brows and pursed lips made you want to hug him instantly.

"God you're cute" you whined to yourself, you felt extremely hormonal today, maybe you were pmsing again.

'You're such an embarassement" Melissa whispered in his ear so he glared at her, why would they even ask such a stupid question? What was he supposed to say?

He wished you were here with him, you probably would have found him cute even when he was fumbling like a fool. As soon as they got inside the venue he let go of her hand to get away from her.

"So that's the girl he was staying with for months before you guys captured him again?" Pepper asked Tony so he looked at her for a few seconds before he spoke,

"Yeahh whhy? Isn't she perfect for him?"

"Is she? I mean they're not even talking to each other, look at him" Pepper said to him so he looked at Loki "He'd rather spend his time at the bar then be with her, they look so in love in interviews and stuff" Tony squeezed his eyes as she said that.

"Yeah may be the relationship has run its course"

She looked at him confused and then she shrugged. Her curiosity has been peaked though.

"Brother, when all these people are inebriated I can drop you off to see lady y/n' Loki gave him a side eye as Thor approached him with the proposal.

"Alright, what am I missing here? What is the catch?"

"Catch?"

"Motive, you must have a motive, you are not helping me because of the goodness of your heart are you? Where do you go?" Thor was taken aback by the sudden scrutiny.

"I'm appalled brother, is this what I get for reuniting you with the love of your life? Must it be this difficult for you to believe that I want your happiness?" Thor retorted.

"Hahaha, I laughed, now tell me the truth, who are you seeing? Oh is it the mortal you were besotted with?" Loki asked him again.

"I am not seeing Jane.. absolutely not"

"That is fabulous, Asgard's first man in the line of throne is courting a mortal, what is mother's opinion about that?" Thor sighed, there was no denying it any longer.

"She doesn't know yet and she can not know and for the love of norns lower your voice"

"Oh I'm just overjoyed brother, mother might be unaware of your insolent behaviour but do you really think the loyal snitch would stay quiet for long?"

"Yes he will, Heimdall gave me his word" Loki rolled his eyes as he heard that.

"Oh I forgot he was the royal snitch of Odin, Frigga and Thor"

"Well perhaps he might have been fond of you if you hadn't played those countless tricks on him as a child" Loki scoffed at the insult.

"Yes, a child, I was a child"

"You froze him merely a few years ago"

"He commited treason "

Thor rolled his eyes at the comment but what Loki said next pleased him "Whatever your hidden motive might be, I'm still grateful so–"

"Are you trying to tell me you appreciate my help?"

"Yes"

"Well I appreciate your appreciation "

Loki shook his head before he smiled.

Your phone was ringing so you picked it up hoping that it was Loki, unfortunately it wasn't him but your mother instead..

"Hey mom"

"Hi, listen, remember David's best man Eugene?"

"Gee mom I'm good, how are you?" She groaned at the response before she asked you the same question again.

"Can't say that I do"

"Okay whatever" She sighed deeply before she spoke again "His son is going to be in Minnesota for two days, I'm going to send you his phone number, talk to him" the anxiety rose as she mentioned one more guy she wanted to set you up with.

"What? Isn't he like 40??" You screamed as if you weren't canoodling a guy who was forty plus an extra thousand years.

"He's 35 y/n, he's a doctor and well reputed, you're not some 20 year old yourself, just do me a favor and meet him once"

"Mom I'm not going to do that, I'm seeing someone" you said to her, hoping she'd respect that and would realise that you were fucking 30.

"Yeah who is it? Who are you seeing?"

"God"

You could feel your mother's eyes rolling at the quip, but you weren't lying to her.

"Just show him around, if nothing..you can atleast be friends with him, are you against that as well now?"

You groaned as she continued to be insufferable about it so you agreed to see this man, after all he'd only be there for two days.

"Fine I'll show him around"

You hung up the phone and sighed, this wasn't what you needed, it was like a cherry on the top of a perfect day. You opened YouTube and saw several videos about the stupid gala, you just wanted to see what people were saying about the new IT couple Meloki as they liked to call them affectionately. You stumbled upon a video that showed their relationship timeline from the moment they met. Wow some people really had way too much time on their hands to be so invested like this. You read the comments and some of them made you laugh while others made you feel even worse,

You put the phone down in order to not hurt yourself any more.

You felt horrible at the moment and every time such feelings occurred you felt overwhelmed by the whirlpool of emotions. You were in love with him and he had become the best friend you had always wanted in your life, someone who wouldn't use you and deceive you for selfish purposes, there was a genuine affection from his side that you always felt whenever he was around you but then you have had such friends before, you had those people who cared at first but now they didn't even know whether you were alive or dead.

Sometimes it was who had to cut them off because they couldn't stop hurting you but that didn't mean that you came out unscathed, it still hurt, the memories hurt, the promises hurt, the loss of friendship hurt.

You laid down on the bed and cried your heart out, you spent a month where you couldn't get in touch with Loki and those days were damaging, you didn't think you'd be able to go through that pain again. It was easier to move on when the people you considered your friends had hurt you but losing Loki? You didn't think you'd ever survive losing the way he cared about you, you couldn't imagine seeing a day where you two would be nothing but strangers to each other.

It was starting to get harder to breathe, your own overthinking was driving you into panic, you stuffed your face between the pillow as you cried and cried. In that moment you just wanted to talk to him and have him tell you that he won't hurt you or leave you like others did.

When you heard the knocks on the window just a few seconds later for a second you thought you had imagined it but then you looked at the window and there he was smiling so innocently so you got up, wiped your face as best as you could and walked towards the window to open it so he could get in, he had a dark green shirt on and a black trouser, you could see his long hair waving because of the wind,

"Hiiii" you mumbled as you opened the window but before he could climb in he grabbed your chin and pulled you in to kiss you softly before he let go "Ummm i thought you were not coming tonight"

"I was missing you darling" you nodded and stepped back so he could get in, he noticed you had his shirt on that he had left there or in other words the shirt you had stolen from him.

"Are you okay..you seem..were you crying?" You shook your head as you turned around, you didn't want to snap in front of him.

Before you could get away he grabbed your arm around turned you towards him, he hugged you briefly before he pulled away and grabbed your chin to make you look at him

"Now tell me what's wrong and this time I don't want you to lie to me" he asked, his voice was tender and sweet.

"Nothing..it's nothing…I was just missing you" you pursed your lips to control your sobs but they came out anyways,

"I was missing you"

"You were?" You sobbed even harder and his eyes teared up too.

"How could I not sweetheart hmm?" He cupped your cheeks, leaned down to kiss you and his thumbs proceeded to wipe your tears simultaneously,

"That's just not it, is it? Something else is eating you up..tell me, share with me" he questioned you but you could only hiccup between your cries. Why were you like this?

"It's ..I don't want to annoy you"

"Annoy me? Did I annoy you that day when I wept like a baby in your arms?"

He questioned you softly so you shook your head, you looked like a child at the moment and it made him smile. He just wanted to take away whatever was bothering you and make you feel better

"I just don't want you to leave because people leave when I'm like this, they don't like me like this" the broken voice and the fear your words held made his heart sink, to learn that people had hurt you so badly in the past that you felt afraid sharing your feelings with him was heartbreaking for him.

"Like what princess? You feel hurt and you just want to be held and comforted, there's nothing wrong with that" the back of his fingers brushed against your cheek as he cooed.

"No???"

"Why would this ever drive me away?"

"I just don't want you to leave " you sobbed even harder so he hugged you and gave you the time to let it all out, he could feel your heart thumping in your chest and he knew this thing has been building up from quite some time now. You both had your insecurities and he wanted to be there for you the way you have been there for him.

"Princess I just need you to know and understand that I'm not going to leave, I'd always need you more than you could ever need me" you pulled away to look at him as he said that. You didn't know why would a god like him would ever need you but you liked the sound of that, mainly because of the look on his face.

"Come here sweet thing" he cupped your cheeks again to kiss your forehead and then he took you to the bed, perhaps cuddles would make you feel better. For once he was the one being the bigger spoon here, he made you lay down on his chest and you held onto him as tightly as you could.

"I was just watching you and Melissa on the tv or should I say Meloki and it just bothered me alot" you mumbled so he laid you down on the bed and turned towards you so he could look at you while talking, he laid sideways on his arm and used those fingers of his to caress your scalp while the other hand wrapped around waist and you felt them running up and down on your back

"Meloki? What is that? An ailment of some sort?" you chuckled as he said that

"It's just not her.. I kept thinking about all those gorgeous people at the gala and I just wanted to be there with you..but at the same time I know I'd never fit in"

"Not fit in? My sweetheart you'd not only fit in but stand out between those shallow dimwits, they are just a bunch of buffoons anyways" you giggled as he said that.

"You're so cute" you scooted closer to him and placed your head between the crook of his neck, your arm curled around his slender waist,

"Someday we will tell this whole planet of our truth and it would be glorious"

"It will be glorious" you said excitedly

"Are you feeling better?"

"Mmmhmmm now that you're here I'm Okay..are you gonna stay?"

"Absolutely, besides Thor is out galavanting with his own mortal"

You pulled away to look at him as he said that.

"Is she the same girl he fell for when he came here?"

"That would be her"

"Ahhhh that's nice..ohhhh your parents are going to kill you both"

"Not me, I'm no Asgardian any longer" he chuckled so you kissed him again. He was so adorable.

"Ummmm I have to tell you something..my mother is trying to set me up with this doctor guy, he's the son of my stepfather's friend " he pulled away slightly to look at you.

"I don't like the sound of that"

"Trust me, me neither, but he's going to be here for two days so I'm just gonna meet him and show him around the city"

"What happened to the don't see other people pact?" He pouted so you pecked on his lips again.

"I'm not going to see him, I'm just going to be a fancy tour guide"

"Uhhuhh but what if he sweeps you off your feet?"

"He can compete but he's never winning against thisssss right here" you pointed towards his heart so he smiled "Mr Loki there are no men like you"

He chuckled before he got on top of you and kissed you, he hated the idea of you going out with this guy he knew nothing about but he couldn't have stopped you either, your mother wanted you to see him and you couldn't have denied, besides from what he had heard your mother hated him so it wasn't really wise to tell her about you two just yet.

"Lokiiiii" you moaned into his mouth so he hummed.

"I have your shirt on"

"You think I didn't notice?"

"Mmhmmm did you notice that I am not wearing much underneath it?" He stopped kissing you and looked at you intently, of course he noticed, you just had your underwear on but he didn't want to say anything that would make you feel uncomfortable.

"I did"

He leaned into you and kissed you again while you pulled his shirt out of the confinement of his pants before you unbuttoned it slowly, he moaned into your mouth as your fingernails caressed his bare skin,

"It amazes me how you are so unaware of your good looks" you whispered in his ear and he let out a nervous laughter, kissing down from your jawline his lips trailed over your collarbone slowly, every inch of your skin felt tingling with anticipation of what was about to happen or how far you both were going to take this.

He shifted on top of you, situating his knees on either side of your waist to support his weight.

"If you're ever burdened by those tormenting misconceptions regarding yourself again just remember that no matter where I am, your thoughts are all I carry in my head" your eyes teared up as he said that.

"Mmmmhmmm really?"

"I couldn't stop thinking about you little one, i just wanted to come back here and love you like this" you gulped as he said that, your fingers curled around his neck and you pulled him closer to you to kiss him passionately,

He wanted to stay patient but how could he when you touched him and kissed him so desperately, he could feel the heat radiating off your body, he never knew that he'd ever come to crave the feeling of a woman's warm body underneath him, he wanted to get burned by the heat you were radiating, the energy that felt torturous in other situations only gave him pleasure at the moment.

His hands sneaked under the shirt you were wearing and you let out a loud moan as his fingers trailed over your erect nipples,

"Looo..gosh babyyyy" you whined and bit on your lips as he gave them a little squeeze,

"I have thought about this a countless times since we have met" he mumbled softly.

"You did?"

"Mmmhmm especially when we were separated, your thoughts were the only thing keeping me sane at nights, in every possible way" he whispered in your ear before he sucked on your neck, you wrapped your legs around his waist , the feeling of his cock rubbing against your core was almost too much to take, your body felt shaky, you have never been the subject of such eroticism before, you only read about it and saw the sweltering passion in movies but now you knew how it felt to be touched so sensually by man you were actually in love with.

"Gossshhh Loki…oh goddd"

You cried out his name as he gyrated his hips into your core, your hand gripped his bicep to feel a sense of security because even though you were on the bed you felt as if you'd fall down even lower and deeper into the grounds, it felt like a trance that you were afraid to break out of.

He grabbed the collar of your shirt between his fists and ripped them apart in one quick motion, breaking all the buttons at once, the subtle flaunt of the inhumane strength only added to your arousal, the things he could do to you and with you and the things you'd allow him to do to you were infinite in number. You'd do anything for him as long as he'd continue to rub against you like this .

He allowed the shredded fabric to stay on your body but your breasts were visible to him now, his cock had gotten so hard that he feared he'd come almost instantly.

"Norns you're beautiful, so beautiful, it's taking everything in me to not claim you as my own" he whispered so you cupped his cheeks,

"I'm all yours i promise..i promise" he kissed you feverishly before he grabbed your hips and aided them to match his own movements,

"You are mine darling and I'll never let you go, never"

"Yessss godd yess stay with me, be with me, all of you..with me, I need it lo, I need it"

Your voice trembled as you spoke, words barely audible but he heard them when you whispered everything in his ears, the day he had met you he felt so strangely connected to you and with time he had only fallen in love with every little thing about you that made you so completely you.

"Lokiii I'm gonna…oh wowww" you moaned his name and he couldn't take his eyes off your face, the dimly lit room made the moment even more perfect. He could see you, touch you, you were half naked underneath him but there was still a sense of mystery.

"I know, i know love, let go, cum with me"

You didn't need anything else, it worked like a charm, a trigger, him asking you to cum in that deep husky breathy voice of his was the only push you needed, the hold of your legs around him tightened and your body convulsed underneath him, if he wasn't holding onto you so fiercely your body would have thrashed uncontrollably, maybe someday he could watch you do just that..

You lifted your hips up and gyrated against him in the wake of your high, that made him combust too and it was glorious in every way, he had sex a million times before but he had never been so pleased like this, it wasn't the orgasm itself but the woman who was pleasing him beyond belief.

He placed his head down on your breasts to calm down, your fingers scratched his scalp gently, both of your bodies felt utterly spent.

After a few minutes he laid down next to you so he wasn't crushing you underneath his weight. You turned towards him and gave him a smile which he returned immediately.

"So now we are friends who kiss sometimes, don't see other people and do Thattttt" he chuckled as you said that

"Princess at this point it's safe to say that we are friends who are also lovers"

"I love being your lover"

"So do I"

You kissed him lovingly before you got off the bed to clean yourself up but he was too relaxed to even move a muscle so he used a charm to take care of the mess he had caused in his pants, when you came back from the bathroom he was in a fresh pair of pants.

You didn't remember much after that because as soon as you got back to the bed, he spooned into you like a baby and it merely took a minute for you two to fall asleep.

He woke you up around five in the morning because he knew Thor would be there to take him back to the tower and he wanted to spend some time with you before he would leave.

You kissed him again and you kissed him in a manner that would keep him obsessing over it for the rest of the day

"Don't fall in love with this healer"

"And if I do?" You mumbled teasingly

"I would just have to murder him I'm afraid"

You giggled at the response. He did enjoy stabbing bad people. You fixed the collar of his shirt and his hair seemed all poofy so you made him sit down at the edge of the bed while you brushed them with a comb.

"You have the softest hair lo..such a pretty baby you are" he giggled at the comment. God you loved him.

You missed him as soon as he was gone and now you had to worry about meeting this guy after work, your mother had given you his phone number so you called him, you didn't understand why he wasn't the one to call you since he was visiting. Just the phone call was enough of an indication that you weren't going to get along with this man. He sounded arrogant

"I'm sorry I'm late" you apologized as you spotted him at the restaurant, your mom had mailed a picture of him to you so it was easier to recognise.

"It's fine I guess, I'm used to such tardiness" he smiled but you could tell he was annoyed, you didn't miss the sarcasm in his tone.

"Ummm okay actually I don't think I got your name yet, my mom told me everything except your name, I'm y/n by the way" you raised your hand forward so he looked at it for a few seconds before he shook it.

"Hello y/n, my name is Doctor Stephen Strange"

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

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[d1xonss]

Desert Rose

Chapter 1 ~ Introductions

✧ Pairing : Daryl Dixon x Rose

✧ Era : Season 1

✧ Word Count : 4.2k

In this chapter ~ In a life full of unexpected turns, this one by far hit Rose the hardest. A disease begins to spread when the dead are somehow brought back to life, that alone being the tip of the iceberg of what she remains to be faced with. When it all leads to her fighting for her life in Atlanta, she meets a group that ends up saving her from what she thought was the end of her rope. But when they bring her along for their great escape out of the dead infested city, she's faced with a decision that seemed to be more difficult than she first realized.

AN ~ Hi! So this is my very first post and series on tumblr and I’m still very much trying to get the feel of things lol. I originally uploaded the first two seasons of this fanfiction to wattpad and am still uploading frequently there, but I also wanted to give this a try as well. Just putting it on a different platform for more people to see:)

I will admit before you read, I started writing this story a little while ago so the phrasing and writing might be a little rusty at first seeing as I was just starting out. But I promise it gets better as it goes on, trust me! I hope whoever reads this grows to love it as much as I do. I will be uploading here as much as I can and adjusting to the new feel of things on here as quick as I can.

And I think that’s all for now! I hope you enjoy!

Fear.

That's the only emotion anyone ever feels anymore, or that's at least what I believe. Considering I've been on my own since the beginning, fear is something that I've had to grow accustomed to. And the world going to shit only made me realize how alone I truly was. Sure, I had a family but ever since I grew up and left them completely, I've never liked to talk about them much, mostly because they didn't care about me whatsoever. I mean, I'm on my own for a reason.

But I knew how to take care of myself pretty well and I was always silently thankful for that. I couldn't imagine living in this world and not knowing how to fight, or fend for yourself, so I considered myself lucky. I caught on quickly when it came time to start killing the dead, the very first time I had taken one out still haunts me to this day, the first feeling of fear I had felt in a very long time. I've learned the hard way that you never quite shake the feeling.

I had a day off from work, which was rare, and I was just in my apartment painting while the T.V. played quietly in the background. But then the whole atmosphere changed, nearly in a split second it felt like. My ears instantly perked up when I heard blood curdling screams coming from the hallway just outside, instantly sending me flying to the front door to press my ear up against the surface. Though when the screams didn't die down, I slowly opened my door to see two disgusting looking corpses going after a few of my neighbors. I froze at the scene in front of me.

They were trying to fight them off with random weapons clutched tightly in their hands, flinching away as they tried desperately to push them back, screaming in utter terror. A part of me was torn, not wanting to step in and actually kill these things that looked exactly like us. People. But these things were no longer human, anyone could see that from a mile away.

I snapped back into reality and rushed into my apartment to grab a large steak knife from my kitchen drawer, trying to help them kill whatever the hell these things were. Rushing into the hallway, I shoved the thing up against the wall to get it away from the small group that had formed around it, causing it to growl loudly as it looked directly at me. Goosebumps formed on my skin at the sight, quickly twirling the knife around to stab it in the chest, but it continued to flail around in my grasp. My eyes widened as the thing didn't seem the least bit phased, trying again and again desperately to get its clawing hands away from me.

But finally it a fit of aggravation, I took my knife and stabbed it right in between its eyes, silencing it completely as it fell limp out of my hold and onto the carpeted floor. My breathing was heavy as the others continued to panic loudly from just behind my head, but I stayed completely still as I couldn't take my eyes away from the thing. I felt disgusting, horrified, and clueless all at once. Though one thing I did know was that I couldn't stay here.

I didn't hesitate then to storm back into my home and pack a larger bag full of my stuff to evacuate, knowing that this couldn't have just been happening here. Curiosity got the better of me as I flipped through the T.V. channels quickly, landing on the news which showed utter chaos and live footage of these things attacking more people. My heart seemed to stop for a moment as I watched, seeing that the world was nearly coming to an end as tanks were flooding down the streets, trying to take these things out and put an end to it before it spread.

I didn't know what to do, or where I would go, but I wanted to get as far away from here as possible. Looking into the dead eyes of the monster really didn't sit too well with me.

Though after that day, life was never the same. The dead slowly took over everything, killing off anyone they could get a hold of and silencing the world completely. Leaving everyone left alive utterly terrified and alone.

Two whole months had passed since the dreaded outbreak, and I found myself to be moving constantly. Never staying in the same place for too long, before packing up to move on and stay alive. That's truly all that mattered anymore.

I somehow ended up in the city of Atlanta just passing through the large structures hoping to gather some supplies before moving on all over again. But what I didn't expect was to see hundreds of walkers filling the streets instead. My eyes widened at the sight as soon as I turned the corner, hoping to just silently slip away as I backed up from the giant swarm of them. But a few of their heads turned as they somehow spotted me, and then the "few" turned into a shit ton.

I practically sprinted in the other direction as fast as I could, slipping in between a few buildings to try and escape the many that chased me with outstretched hands. But I quickly realized that the space I ran into was an alley, blocking off the other side in which I planned to escape. My stomach flipped as I slowly turned back around to face the dead, seeming to accept my fate as I was trapped and had no escape.

And that brings me to today. No, I didn't die...but if I'm being honest a part of me wished that I had.

Instead of feeling the corpse's dead fingers tearing into me, a few live people came out of nowhere in the tall building to my right and began killing off the corpses one by one, right before my eyes. I stood completely still as I thought at first I might be dreaming, but one of the men quickly grabbing my arm and pulling me along like a rag doll told me it was far from that.

Anyone else would be grateful for these people being at the right place at the right time, but I didn't work too well with others so grateful isn't really the word I would use.

So, currently you could say I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place as I racked my brain, trying to figure out how to get out of the situation I was put in. One of the men that had saved me was wearing a God awful hat that made me want to walk back in the herd of walkers. His name, I learned, was Rick Grimes and he and his group were the ones that helped me get out of the pickle I got myself in, along with dragging me with them as they too escaped from the large city of Atlanta. From what I overheard the others talking loudly about, they had just managed to save Rick as well, who was having just as bad of a day as I was, an hour before they saved me. To me it looked like we were both just random strangers that they decided to pick up like lost dogs.

The rest of the group seemed to be nice enough, except for this asshole Merle who was this racist, sexist, piece of shit. Spewing out bullshit and insults from his lips every five minutes and only pushing me further into wanting to walk towards the flesh eating monsters. Though, to make a very long story short, we ended up leaving him handcuffed up on the roof of a building where we were once trapped on top of. Though much to my surprise, it wasn't on purpose. Rick eventually had enough of the man's bullshit and took his fancy, shiny handcuffs to lock him in place on a metal pole, and a man named T-Dog accidentally dropped the key to unlock him down a drain.

But when the time came, we had no choice but to leave him when the dead were chasing us once more as they somehow had gotten into the building. The only option we really had now was to maybe go back for him later. Maybe. But to put it into perspective on how uncomfortable I was with these people, riding in this truck with them to their camp...I would rather switch places with Merle.

I was suddenly pulled out of my thoughts when the truck we were riding in stopped abruptly, assuming we were at the camp these people were talking so much about. I took a second to lean forward and glance out the windshield at my surroundings, not liking the feeling that was forming in my gut at the thought of meeting anyone new. But Rick caught me scanning the area, reading my expression from where he sat in the passenger seat and clearly sensed my nerves.

He eventually caught my eye as I felt him staring right as he began to speak, "Don't worry, we're in this together." he assured, flashing a half smile at me that made the corners of his eyes wrinkle.

I raised my eyebrows. Oh, thank God we're "in this together."

The guy who was driving, who I learned was named Morales, told us to come out and meet everyone with a nod as he jumped out of the truck to run to his family. I shared another uneasy look with Rick before slowly following his actions to see for myself what I would be dealing with. My eyes scanned through everyone that was gathered around and instantly all eyes were on me once they heard my door slam shut. I grew uncomfortable at all the watchful eyes boring holes straight into my forehead, and a man named Glenn eventually stepped up when he sensed the obvious tension.

"Guys, this is Rosaline. We saved her back in the city. She's cool." he assured with a smile, silently telling all of them to back off.

I shifted uncomfortably, "Rose." I corrected.

It seemed after I opened my mouth to speak everyone relaxed slightly, thinking that I wouldn't be much of a threat. Though I could be. But they didn't need to know that. I didn't plan on hurting these people or taking their fishing poles unless they tried anything. But by the looks of it, some of these people looked like they wouldn't even kill a fly, so I think it was safe to say I was good.

Though all of a sudden, the whole atmosphere seemed to change, everything happening in slow motion as a few people stared at me wide eyed. A man, a woman, and a kid. I stood still there for a moment wondering what I did to make these people stare daggers at me like this until I heard a small gasp from behind me. I looked over my shoulder and saw Rick standing there in awe with the same expression that they had as he stared at them in disbelief. I soon realized that they were looking just behind me the entire time and quickly stepped off to the side as fast as I could.

Well, that's fucking embarrassing.

The little boy then took off in a flash towards Rick, screaming "Dad!" as he cried and then it all seemed to click in my head. This was the family Rick briefly mentioned to the group back when we were on the roof of the tall building back in the city. The family he had been trying desperately to find. They had been here the whole time.

My eyes stayed on the small family as they reunited with laughter and tears, almost feeling myself smile at the sight. Though I snapped out of it with a shake of my head, stopping it before I could let it happen.

After the moment had passed, that only came time for very long and boring introductions as Rick and I seemed to meet everyone else in the camp. I nodded towards everyone politely as I learned each of their names that I would surely accidentally forget. But one name seemed to really stick out to me amongst the many others.

Someone briefly mentioned that there was another man who lived with them, one who wasn't here at the time. Merle's brother, Daryl. And here I thought one was enough.

However, I had yet to meet the second one because the older man, Dale informed me he was currently out on a hunt somewhere in the woods just ahead of us. But the truth was I didn't need to meet the man to know that he was an asshole just like the one we left behind. I mean they are related after all.

The entire group then sat around a fire once the sun finally set, eating something small they cooked for the night, while discussing some random things that people would occasionally bring up. But the hot topic currently, was what needed to be said to Daryl once he got back. In my mind it was pretty simple, but it was clear these people didn't want to be too harsh about it.

"What should we say to him?" Dale asked.

"We tell him the truth," Rick stated simply, "I'll tell him, I mean I was the one who cuffed him."

"No, I'll tell him I'm the one who dropped the key." T-Dog piped in as he finished the remaining food on his plate.

Glenn sighed and went on to say, "I don't mean to bring race into this but...it might sound better coming from a white guy."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes hearing them going back and forth about what to tell him, hearing the same things being said over and over again. I stayed completely silent as I thought more to myself, slowly tuning their conversation out as I planned my escape from this hell hole. Coming here was clearly a big mistake and I realized that the moment I stepped foot inside, I didn't belong with the rest of them. I was better off alone.

And what seemed to annoy me the most is that I didn't have a choice, they just dragged me back here without even asking, without a care in the world. To me, that alone was a good enough reason to get the fuck out of here.

The group finally decided after what felt like hours that Rick would be the one to tell Daryl about his brother, and eventually it grew much later in the night as everyone began to go their separate ways. I planned to just head off into the forest to sleep against a nearby tree for a few hours, then slip away in the early morning before any of them had a chance to notice.

I began to gather my stuff, strapping my backpack across my shoulders and stepping over the few large rocks in my way to head towards the tree line. But just as I was about to get the smallest taste of freedom, a voice calling out behind me caused me to stop.

"Hey Rose!" I recognized Dale's voice softly shout.

My chest raised up and down with a deep sigh, turning around to face him as I looked at him expectantly. "I know you don't have a place to sleep tonight, but we have some room in the RV..." he trailed off.

I continued to stare at him, hardly showing any emotion on my face at all as I tried to read him, figuring out what his intentions were.

He continued, "Look, I know you're new and clearly don't trust any of us just yet, but I just want to make sure you have a safe place to sleep. You don't have to, I just thought I would offer." he said, finishing with a smile.

I could tell by that alone that Dale was a good person and a decent man. There were definitely some people in this group that gave me a bad feeling right off the bat, but Dale wasn't one of them. But I needed to get away so I could leave. I only wanted this group to be a distant memory in the back of my mind and nothing more.

So, with that I shook my head, "I'm okay." I said as politely as I could before heading off into the forest.

I could hear him sigh from behind me as I walked away but I didn't let it bother me. I needed to go. A part of me didn't even want to sleep so I could get a head start and further away, but I was fairly tired from running for my life throughout the day. So I figured I could sleep for a couple of hours and before anyone could wake up, I would leave and head off to...well anywhere but here.

My eyes groggily peeled open the following morning just before the sun began to rise over the hills, looking at it made me guess was it was around four in the morning. I yawned and stretched slowly before standing up to my full height and placing my bag on my back, starting to head off in the opposite direction of the camp as the dirt crunched loudly beneath my feet. Although I didn't get very far, maybe about five steps away before something suddenly stopped me in my tracks. I stood still there for a minute, just thinking. For some reason there was a gut feeling I had. Something was telling me to stay.

My mind started to spiral with many different thoughts, enough to give you a headache, but then that's where I stopped myself. My whole life whenever I had a gut feeling about something, I needed to trust it. My little intuition was almost never wrong. And although most I had felt like warnings about uneasy feelings, this one was different. Like a magnet was pulling me back to the group. A strong ass magnet.

I found myself plopping back down on my ass, my back up against the tree with my knees to my chest, just lost in my own thoughts, debating and arguing with myself for what felt like hours when in reality it was probably only a few minutes. But a golden flicker appearing out of the corner of my eye is what made me look back up, seeing the sun beginning to rise higher in the sky enough to kiss my cheeks. Okay...so it really had been a few hours.

But even after clear hours had passed me by, I was still left very torn on what to do with myself. My head was screaming at me to just leave and be on my own, but my heart was just calmly telling me to stay for a while and see how it works out. I hadn't had a real group at all since the outbreak first happened, but in my mind I never wished for one. I always believed it was okay to be alone, watching out for yourself rather than anyone else dragging you down. That was the logical way to survive...wasn't it?

With that I let out an annoyed groan and slowly stood back up to make my walk of shame back to the camp, deciding to give it one more day and if nothing changes, I'd leave tonight. To me even staying one more day seemed to be pushing it, but I didn't want to regret not trying and seeing how this would play out.

As I walked back into the grounds, I noticed some people were already awake in the early hours of the morning to my surprise. Carol and her daughter Sophia were sitting up on one of the logs talking quietly to each other, the woman's gaze glancing up to me as she noticed my movement. She sent me a sweet smile with a small wave, to which I nodded to her in return.

My eyes then looked away from her for a split second when I caught a brief glimpse of Rick walking away from the campsite with a certain determination in his step, and his head low. I stayed in place as I watched his figure disappear, before I found my feet slowly moving forward to follow him. I didn't know why I did, I just grew curious I guess.

When I caught up to his long strides, I found him sitting on a larger rock, seemingly talking to himself though I couldn't make out the words from where I was standing. It was all too hushed and quiet. But then my eyes panned over a bit to see a device in his hands, his mouth lowering closer as he spoke into it. Good to know he wasn't batshit crazy or anything.

After an only few seconds I turned on my heel to leave him be, though I accidentally stepped too far to the right and straight down on a branch that snapped loudly. My eyes closed the second it happened, silently cursing to myself. When he heard the noise he whipped his head around, with his hand hovering over his pistol on his hip, but his body instantly relaxed when he realized I wasn't a walking corpse.

He then recovered and flashed me a thin lipped smile, "Hey, you're up early."

I lifted my hand to check my imaginary watch, "No shit." I said, lowering it back down again at my side.

"You're not a morning person...noted." he said slowly before sighing to himself as he stared at me, "You know, I can tell you were alone for quite some time, if not the entire time. And I know you're probably scared but-"

"I'm not scared of anything." I snapped.

He looked at me surprised with raised brows, not expecting me to say anything at all. But I wasn't going to just stand there while he accused me of the things I was feeling when he didn't know anything about me at all. Everyone around here might've been scared but I sure as hell wasn't. Maybe that was another reason I didn't want to be with this group, they didn't know what the hell they were doing, too scared to have a steady head on their shoulders. I should add that to the list of reasons why I should take my happy ass out of here.

Once he recovered, he nodded in agreement to my surprise, "Okay, maybe you're not scared... but you are alone."

I didn't open my mouth to respond as my eyes narrowed at him further. Thanks captain obvious.

He continued, "Look, I know you don't trust us, but all I'm asking for is that you give us a chance. I saw the way you were looking at everyone last night, like you were ready to pounce any minute if anyone tried anything. I can tell you need us as much as we need you-"

"Okay," I interrupted with a wave of my hand, "Let me stop you right there before you break out into song and dance. I'm going to make something perfectly clear. I don't need you, or your parade of assholes back there for anything. I have always been just fine on my own, and last time I checked I didn't even ask for you to save me and bring me back here. You just did it. So don't tell me I'm scared, or I need any of you because that is far from the truth, asshole." I spoke harshly.

He stared at me for a few seconds not knowing what to say, but clapping back quicker than I expected, "Okay, fair enough. You're right I don't know you, you didn't ask me to save you, and you don't look like you need anyone. I'm just saying it's nice to have other people watching your back. I felt so alone until I found a man and his son while looking for my family, and now I can be a part of this group...and so can you. But I can understand if you want to leave. Just know that...everyone in camp likes the idea of having you around."

His response was far from what I expected, and I didn't say anything back to him right away, mostly because I couldn't find the right words. How could he be so understanding over someone he didn't even know. It honestly blew my mind a little.

When he saw I wasn't going to argue further, he turned back around to watch the sun continue to rise in front of him. And after debating in my head for a minute or two, I decided to walk over and sit next myself to him on the giant rock. He glanced at me when I sat down, probably expecting me to say some smart ass comment in return to what he stated, but I didn't. We just sat in comfortable silence until the sky was no longer orange and pink, but now turning into more of a pale blue with clouds slowly filling up the remaining space. It was somewhat nice.

I could tell he was about to move and stand up to his feet, probably to head back to camp, but I said something that stopped him.

"I never wanted to be alone." I confessed, not taking my eyes off the sky.

As soon as the words left my lips, I closed my eyes for a moment as I regretted what I said almost instantly. I didn't want to admit defeat to anyone let alone a stranger, but I figured I should in this case for him to truly understand what I was feeling.

I felt his eyes on me as he said nothing, expecting me to continue, so I did. "I was alone before the world went to shit, and I've gotten used to being by myself. I guess I've just come to realize it's exhausting looking out for other people."

He still remained silent.

"My point is I don't know if I'm staying." I said while finally turning to look at him.

He nodded, "That's okay. Just make sure to think about it before you make any rash decisions. Who knows...maybe you'll change your mind." he said almost suggestively before standing up and turning around to head back.

I turned my head and watched his frame retreat away from me for a few seconds, his words echoing in my mind, before turning all my attention back to the sky. A part of me still wanted to leave, the fear of the unknown creeping up to me, however I did tell myself that I would give it another chance. But if I couldn't find a reason to say by tonight that was that. I would leave this group behind.

~ Thanks for reading!

[zerobaseonefics]

BLOOMING DAY

blooming day . . . day three

note . . . I FR STRUGGLED TO POST THIS IDK WHY TUMBLR DIDN'T LET ME???? RACIST BEHAVIOR IF YOU ASK ME . anyways 🥰 i've decided i'll try to post at least every friday. hope it's fine by y'all and you will enjoy this new chapter 🫶🏼 ngl the story starts kinda slow but things will get interesting soon 🫡

taglist open <3 (if you want me to add you, send an ask so i can make sure i saw it!!) . . . @cherriegyu @kpoprhia @vhshyk @hikyeom @mins-fins @juyomiao @dwcljh @invuwrld @beomibeom @sulkygyu @lycheae @huipinkhair @luvseok1e @haesunflower @big-uwu-stan @harus-simp @zhounauts @jiaant11 @articxari @jebiwon @mashihope @taerrrrrae @ilovechanhee @ahnneyong @seok02 @honghongbri @justemalove @mposkyje @zhanghaoed

previous day | masterlist | next day

. . . ᥫ᭡ . . .

you really wondered why hanbin followed you on twitter after this. wasn't it clear you rejected him?

"i'm telling you, he likes being humiliated. the fact he deadass bought that bouquet was showing it", yujin said as she took a bite of her lunch.

"a normal person wouldn't try to talk to you again after you rejected them! what is wrong with him?", you said, agreeing with yujin.

"yeah, i really wonder why he would do that..." mashiro added.

in fact, mashiro was lying, she didn't have any questions about this. why? well, she's the one who told him to do so.

mashiro decided to tell her plan to hanbin step by step. her excuse was that she didn't want him to rush things, but the truth is that she had no plan and her idea was just to make things up little by little. plus, she wanted to toy with him a little. wasn't it the reason she was helping him? for her own entertainment?

you slightly jumped when you heard the sound of someone sitting at your table. that day, the cafeteria was kind of empty. it spring and the sun was shining, so people would rather eat outside then there. so, why would anyone seat at your table when there was plenty free ones? mashiro, sitting in front of you, was smiling in a way that meant no good. you watched as xiaoting greeted a boy you didn't know.

"it's been a while, hao!"

"i know!! since there's place at your table, i kinda dragged the boys so i could eat with you."

you frowned. the boys? zhang hao? you turned to see who just sat next to you, only to find hanbin. at first, you brain didn't get the information right, so you just went back to eating. however, when the realization hit you, your eyes widened. now you remember! xiaoting's close childhood friend is zhang hao. and you knew about hao and hanbin's relationship...

"hey", hanbin simply said with a fresh smile.

"why aren't you sitting next to hao?"

"because he's talking to xiaoting and i'll feel left out... and i'd rather sit next to you if i have the occasion to."

chaehyun coughed to hide the fact she was trying not to laugh at the scene taking place in front of her. you looked horrified and it was hard not to laugh at the face you were making.

"why would you suddenly come to eat lunch with us?" you asked hanbin.

"well, you know hao and xiaoting are good friends. he just wanted to hang out with her for a bit. he's kinda busy these days so he doesn't get the occasion to see her much. i guess he's gonna use the lunch time to stay with her more..."

it was all lies. well, only partly. sure, hao missed his friend, but he had plenty of time to see her only together. he was not busy at all. hanbin used him as an excuse to fulfill mashiro's plan.

after they all finished eating, hao was the first one to stand up to announce him and the other boys were leaving. your suspicious eyes followed the group as they were leaving the cafeteria, and you saw hanbin's arm sneaking around the chinese boy's waist. you rolled your eyes. you turned your attention to xiaoting, who was peacefully finishing her lunch.

"xiaoting."

"yes?"

"you're very close to hao, right?"

"yes! i've known him for years now, and our families are pretty close."

"and when do you plan on telling him that his boyfriend is cheating on him?"

the girls sitting around the table with you were shocked.

"hao has a boyfriend?" chaehyun asked.

"and he's cheating on him..?" yujin added, not sure of where that information came from.

"what are you talking about?" xiaoting genuinely asked.

"hanbin! you know he was flirting with me! that's one of the main reasons why i hate him, he's dating zhang hao at the same time."

xiaoting rested her face in her hands, sighing heavily. she was exhausted at how dumb you are. yujin's eyes were going to you, then back at xiaoting, then back at you again. she was just waiting for one of you to add something.

"y/n, hao and hanbin are not dating."

[helena-thessaloniki]

Just dropping in to say that Silent Night has me in a chokehold I will likely never recover from and that you are awe-spiringly talented!! (new chapter is *chef's kiss*) I believe I speak for the damirae fandom when I say the wait for your updates is sweet torture and reading is an absoLUTE delight 🩷

If you don't mind questions ofc, I am super curious as to how you found damirae and got inspired to write for it! The DCAMU community size has nothing on popular anime fandoms, so I'd love to hear how it started 🥰 Your grasp on their deep and compelling characters is so immaculate (+ the heartwrenchingly articulate writing style??🩷) 😍😍 ugh love it to the moon and back!!

ahhh hi !! Thank you so much. It's pretty much terrifying posting a new story in a new fandom, so I really appreciate this. 🖤

yes! Always open to questions. :] the various algothirms must have targeted me, because I've always seen such great art for damirae, I didn't realize it was a smaller fandom and something of a rare pair on Ao3. Silent Night definitely draws inspiration from gorgeous artwork by @kasieli.

Looking back, there's a chance that damirae was my first childhood OTP? I grew up watching the early 2000s Teen Titans and shipped Raven and Robin before my little kid brain could properly understand anything about romance. I have not rewatched the show as an adult, but this is such a fantastic edit by @unlikely-alliance. I mean, it's a cartoon but their chemistry and closeness is out of this world.

Then sometime last year I got hit hard with the Marvel fatigue. (DC too, but admittedly, I didn't give the Titans live-action show a chance, too afraid they botched Raven.) The comics, movies, and animated shows were such a quintessential part of my childhood, so it was kind of upsetting to realize I was so tired and uninspired by it all. Trying to reclaim some of that old joy, I guess, led me to start rewatching Justice League and working through the DC catalogue on HBO/Max. Instead of watching in order, though, I went straight for the Teen Titans movies, knowing ahead of time from tumblr that Robin/Raven would be canon this time. 😏

Probably my writing of them is more inspired by the old cartoon, but we only get the complexity of Robin-Damian Wayne because of the DCAMU and I am so grateful for it. The way it makes them make so much sense as the only two people who could properly understand and deeply care for the other creates such a dream pairing.

Thank you again 🥰🖤 this is the most absolutely self-indulgent fic I have ever written and posted, I'm so surprised and grateful for such a positive response.

[justalonelyslytherin]

Legacies | Nine

Previous Chapter | Masterlist | Next Chapter

Pairing: Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x Kazansky!OC

Summary: It's the middle of the night and Jake can't find sleep. In a way, it's a good thing since he'll have to say an unexpected goodbye to Ana, who leaves Top Gun behind in the middle of the night.

Warnings: military inaccuracies, mentions of dying, mentions of parental death/parental loss

Wordcount: 1.5k

If you enjoyed reading this, please consider leaving a comment or reblogging. I don’t allow for my content to be copied, translated, or reposted on other websites/apps. Please don’t steal my work.

A/N: It's Sunday, I know. The chapter is up a day early. The reason for it is that I'm unable to post it tomorrow and I didn't want to be behind on schedule. So instead I'll be ahead of it! If you've read this chapter you can already guess what the next chapter will be about. It's one last, small moment of quiet and peace before shit will hit the fan. Enjoy it &lt;3

Taglist: open, message me or comment to be added, will be put as reblog

1:35 am, Base Lodgings

Everything was quiet. The hallways lay deserted and shrouded in darkness. It was the middle of the night, yet Hangman was awake in his dorm room. On his back, he stared at the ceiling in silent contemplation. His head was cushioned on the arm he’d crossed under his head. His thoughts were keeping him up.

She was keeping him up. 

Images of Ana crying on the tarmac and him holding her resurfaced. They danced across his inner eye, closely followed by her angry expression after the altercation with Rooster. 

It was a drastic contrast. One moment her eyes glistened with unshed tears, her vulnerability evident, laid out bare and open before him. The next her eyes were blazing with a fire that wanted to rage and destroy everything around her, she was guarded and turned away from him. Hidden.

Jake hadn’t been able to stop thinking about either moment since they happened.

It was those thoughts that cost him the valuable sleep he already had little of. Over the years in service he had learned to fall asleep quickly, no matter what had happened minutes, hours, or days before.

Trapped in this loop of memories, Hangman almost missed the noise coming from the hallway. Almost. When there was a clatter coming distinctively from just beside his room, he decided to investigate. Walking over he opened the door into the hallway, expecting it to be empty. 

Looking out Hangman came face to face with the reason for his insomnia. There she stood cursing under her breath, fumbling around in the dim hallway.

“Ana?” Her head shot up, startled by his voice. She must have missed him opening his door.

“Did I wake you up?” Hangman shook his head and stepped next to her into the hallway.

As he closed his door behind him she noticed his state of dress. He was only wearing boxers and a faded shirt from Annapolis.

“What are you doing? It’s the middle of the night.”

Ana had a hard time parting from the view of his strong arms and legs to diverge her attention from back to his face. As his words settled over her, she bit her lip and turned away. The subtle gesture was enough for him to notice the bag sitting in front of her feet. It was her travel back.

The sight alarmed Hangman. With it came a sort of tension quickly building in his body. As he took a step closer to her, his body felt taut enough to rip. At first, Ana refused to look at him. Only when he stood directly in front of her and reached out with his fingers to lift her chin did she look at him. She could barely hold eye contact. 

“You are going.” It wasn’t a question. Hangman was stating the obvious. He sounded upset, his jaw was tensely clenched as he looked at her.

“You quittin’?” The words were nearly poisonously spat out.

Realizing you couldn’t do something and admitting it was a noble act but quitting for no reason was for cowards. Normally Hangman wouldn’t spend a thought on those that quit, they weren’t worth his time and effort. But the prospect of her quitting was making him strangely angry. 

The anger consumed him for a moment, it made him blind to the shaking of her shoulders at first. His anger dissipated instantly when he noticed, taking in her shaky breath. Jake mellowed, he softened at her vulnerability. The whirlwind of emotion in her eyes as she looked up at him nearly threw him off his feet.

“My Dad–,” her voice threatened to give out. He took a step closer to her, his hand itching to reach out. “My mother found him in his study. He was unconscious and not breathing…They–”

“Hey,” he called out softly as her voice gave out, “Take a breath.” Guiding her through the motion until she was able to continue, he never took his eyes off her.

“They managed to bring him back but it doesn’t look good. He has gotten extra oxygen and some medications to ease his breathing but he is rapidly getting worse. The doctor doesn’t think he has much time left. Hours… at maximum a day or two.” 

There was sadness and hurt in her eyes mixed with dread and hesitation. Jake’s heart clenched, he recognized the fight her conscience was fighting.

She wanted to be with her father, she had to be, to spend his last moments with him. But there was the awareness of the mission. How important it was and what little time they had left to prepare for it.

Jake nodded, even though he was aware he couldn’t know how she must be feeling at this moment. “It’s okay.” And while it wasn’t truly okay, the situation was shitty and she wouldn’t be okay for a while, he didn’t know what else to say. “It’s going to be okay. You are not alone in this.”

There they stood, looking at each other, both not knowing what else to say. It was then that Ana’s phone vibrated. She turned to crouch in front of the bag and pulled the phone out.

“I have to go.” 

Standing up she grabbed for her bag. Jake was quick to take the bag from her, muttering “I’ll accompany you out.” It was the least he could do. 

And so he carried the bag for her as they walked down the empty and dark hallways in silence. In front of the dormitory building they stopped. In the distance the headlights of a car could be seen driving up the road toward them.

Jake set the bag down at their feet. They were standing side by side in awkward silence. The car drew nearer and with it Jake’s heartbeat spiked. He felt like he had to say something, to do something, before it arrived and she would go. 

Without thinking about it, he stepped closer to her and drew her into his arms. Ana’s body felt warm and soft against him as his arms were wrapped tightly around her back. The motion had surprised her but after a moment she returned the hug. Jake could feel her head lean against his shoulder, feel her breath graze his throat. 

He was wracking his brain to say something, to cheer her up if possible, to tell her his condolences or even to ask if she would be returning – if he would see her again – but no words would leave his mouth. Swallowing felt impossible, there was this lump in his throat that wouldn’t go away, no matter how much he tried.

And then it was too late.

He heard the door of the car open, causing Ana to end the hug. Even if hesitantly, she pulled away, her hands letting go of him. The warmth of her body against his vanishing left him feeling cold.

Ana looked at him and it took all in Jake not to pull her back into the building, to have her stay, and to talk about what happened just before that between them. She hadn’t talked or looked at him since the altercation with Rooster, no matter how much he had tried to pull her attention. Now she was going before he could make it up before he could explain himself and get her to see what he had tried to do.

“I’ll see you,” Ana mumbled tentatively. It was more of a question than a statement. The uncertainty in her voice made him ache. This couldn’t be how they parted, how they saw each other for the last time possibly. Against everything in him, Jake simply nodded, tense and rooted to the spot.

He watched her pick up her back and walk down the steps. Ana reached the last step when Jake finally found the strength to move. Bounding down behind her, he grabbed her hand. In surprise, she looked back at him.

“I’m...sorry.” He told her, earnestly and honestly. Heavy emotions swam in her eyes, tears clouded the pretty color of them as her bottom lip wobbled. She couldn’t speak, couldn’t answer him, too choked up, but what she could do was squeeze his hand. There was the barest quip of her lip in what was the closest she could muster to a smile in this heavy situation.

Jake understood, nodding and squeezing back. The moment ended too soon with their hands pulling apart. His fell to his side as he watched her turn around. 

Ana walked with quick feet toward the car, where another person stood and waited for her. They took her bag, putting it into the trunk as she entered the passenger's side. Before she sat down and closed the door, she looked back once more at him. Jake still stood there, motionless. He couldn’t quite see her expression but he felt her eyes on his once more.

The click of the door was quiet, the car quickly driving off.

Jake watched it drive away until he no longer could see it in the dark.

[prince-liest]

I am literally checking your blog daily how the backflipping DUCK did I miss the recent snippet!?!?

It is genius. Bestest thing in the entire universe. I am filled with admiration for your skills. If I were home, I would be screaming into a pillow.

Just how do you make snippets this good?!?? Hahah♡ /pos

Backflipping duck got me, HAHA, thank you for that. Honestly, this entire chapter has been sitting solidly in "there's a lot of emotional fallout here from the previous installments of this series, and it is making me very paranoid about pulling both of them out of character," so I'm really glad people are enjoying the bits of WIP that I've been posting! Now that I've made it through a night out followed by an all-day party, I can sit, relax, and edit the shit out of it prior to posting so that I feel solid about it, hahaha. Anyway, thank you so much! <3 These kind messages have been fueling me amidst all the chaos, ehehe.

More replies specifically on the snippet under the cut! <3

okay I'm DYING over that snippet, alastor is going through a crisis not feeling comfortable with what they've been doing any longer and trying to figure out how to express that and one of the first things vox says when he breaches the topic is "I'm gonna dress up valentino as you and fantasize about fucking you anyway" like buddy!! all horny no brain asdfg they're both killing me omg - ✨

Vox was allowed like two seconds of healthy, genuine communication prior to the snippet I posted before I was like, "Hm, one sec, gotta remind everyone who he is," hahaha. He was, to be fair, mostly trying to be glib in that moment in a way that just didn't land.

Vox says "well it doesn't have to be literally you if you don't want" and Alastor hears "I've objectified the idea of you to such an extent that I'm going to go to such length to still realize my desire to fuck you" and oof.

Hi, anon who loves your writing snippets here 👋 Reaction summarized: “The Emotions They destroyed their cage Yes YES The Emotions are out” In other words: I am ready to be utterly obliterated. Hit me with the emotional weightlifting these two idiots are about to do. I’m rubbing my hands vigorously like a little creacher, a raccoon or common housefly, perhaps. On another note, so happy you’re getting off to a good start in your residency! As someone who’s been below the poverty line for most of their life, I know how thrilling it can be to look at future housing prospects. There’s nothing I love more than decorating a new space to make it feel like home :). I hope for the best for you these upcoming months!

Ehehehe, what a GREAT use of that poem. >:D The emotions really have finallly destroyed their cage. Time to face the music!!

And ahhh, thank you! Yeah, I've moved around a lot throughout my life (including switching houses weekly between my parents most of my life) and I feel like one of the ways I adapted to it was just being very gung-ho about decorating and home-ifying a place I'm staying, so I'm so excited to finally have a space that is All Mine To Do With As I Please without being concerned about roommates, etc, etc. And it won't be permanent, but I'll be there three years, and that's a decently long time!!

[punkshort]

Chapter warnings: graphic depictions of violence, death, language

Chapter Twelve

Pairing: Joel x F!Reader, pre-outbreak and post outbreak

AU (the only thing I kept was the outbreak, Joel, and Tommy's characters. Joel's backstory is different, and the way he finds Jackson is different. I may include Ellie one day, I just haven't planned that far)

Fic Summary: You worked for Joel and Tommy a few months before the outbreak. The outbreak happens, and you and Joel get stuck traveling the country and keeping each other safe. Neither of you spoke about the feelings you had for one another pre-outbreak, and in a post-apocalyptic world, it seems like survival should be your only focus. But feelings can't be ignored forever.

Fic tags: Explicit Smut (18+ MDNI), Smut, Language, Canon-Typical Violence, Alcohol Use, Age Difference (Reader is 10 years younger than Joel), slow burn, mutual pining, angst, trauma, SA referencing later but I will put a big warning on those chapters

February 2004

Des Moines, IA

You gripped your knife tightly in your fist, the blade pointed towards the ground as you crouched silently forward, choosing your steps very carefully. About 5 feet away from the runner, you stupidly stepped on a piece of glass you didn't notice embedded on the thin carpet. The runner whipped around with a scream, lunging towards you snapping its teeth in the air. You sidestepped it at the last minute, kicking and making it fall face first onto the ground. You jumped on its back and jammed your knife deep into its skull, blood dripping down to absorb into the floor as you panted heavily.

"What the hell was that?!" Joel yelled, whipping the back door open. You felt the cold blast of air hit you, even from all the way across the restaurant. You tugged on your knife, removing it from the runner's head and wiped it on the back of its shirt before putting the knife back on your hip.

"There was one left, must've missed it," you called back to him, brushing yourself off and walking towards the back of the room.

"Shit, I swore I got 'em all. You good?" He said, looking you over with his flashlight as you approached. You held up your hand to your eyes to block the beam of light.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I fucked up," you said, lowering your hand when he aimed his light down, satisfied you were not harmed. "I stepped on some glass, had to get creative. You think we can stay here the night? I think these cushions come off the booths. Not sure we can find any extra blankets here, though."

"We can put on layers, we've been through worse," Joel said, already yanking on some of the booth cushions, pulling a few out on the floor to sleep on.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom, then check the kitchen. I'll be right back," you dropped your pack on the ground and strolled off towards the women’s room in the corner. Once you were done, you stared at yourself in the mirror over the bathroom sink, shocked to see how different you looked. You hadn't seen a mirror in several weeks. Your face looked more hollow, you definitely had lost some weight. You pulled your hair out of the ponytail you typically kept, realizing that it was the longest you’ve seen it since you were little. You tried running your fingers through it to manage it a bit, but it seemed hopeless. You gathered your hair back behind your head and slid the hair-tie over it once again.

You didn't find much left in the restaurant kitchen, which was a huge disappointment. You were running low on food, having walked through thick forests and then open prairies for the past two weeks, not coming across any shelters to raid. Joel had purposely redirected you to this city in the hopes of restocking your food supplies and taking a short break from sleeping in the freezing cold wilderness. Luckily, your bow and arrows proved very useful, and kept the two of you fed when you had barely anything else to survive. Joel had never used a bow before yours, so you had taught him the basics from what you could remember. He seemed to have a knack for survival. He caught on very quickly and soon became better with it than you.

You sighed as you opened the last cupboard door, finding it just as empty as the rest. You were about to close it when a colorful wrapper caught your eye, shoved all the way in the back behind some pots. You reached your arm in as far as it could go, your fingertips barely grazing the item before you managed to pull it forward a smidge and grab it. You could have cried you were so happy with what you found.

“Joel!” you called out as you walked back into the dining room, heading towards the small lit up area he made for the two of you and your sleeping bag already rolled out on your cushion. “You’ll never believe what I found!”

He turned around from adjusting his own sleeping bag. He immediately spotted the jar in your hand and groaned. “Peanut butter!” he exclaimed with relief, “Fuck yes.” He sat down on his cushion to dig out the spoons from your packs. You both ate in silence, enjoying eating something other than rabbit or squirrel for the first time in weeks. You still had some provisions in your packs that lasted you about a week after you left Chicago, but as you traveled more out west, the options became limited, and the weather slowed you down significantly, causing you to eat through a lot of your food. You had become dependent on the wildlife for sustenance, and you got lucky, but it was getting old.

Joel had been kind enough to bury your parents before you moved on. He didn’t want you to have to help carry their bodies, so he had to make do with burying them where they were killed. He found a broken shovel about half a mile down the road in an abandoned mechanic’s shop, and it took him the rest of the day, but he made sure they were taken care of. He even found some large rocks to mark their graves. He was worried about you for a long time after that. You were distant and didn’t speak much. He didn't know what to do, other than giving you space and time to process your grief, while taking on as many of the responsibilities he could to keep you both alive. He insisted on being the one to hunt as often as possible. He sought out as many safe places indoors to set up camp as he could, even if it meant wasting half the day’s sunlight, he would sacrifice it so you would be more comfortable. He stayed in those places a day or two longer than he wanted, just so you could possibly sleep a little more soundly. It hardly mattered anyway: he wasn’t convinced he would ever find Tommy, or even if he was still alive. There didn’t seem to be much rush to your journey anymore, but it gave you something to fight for, so he kept pushing forward.

Then, one day, he did something to make you laugh. He couldn't even remember what it was, but hearing the sound made him desperate to make you do it again. So, the next day, he tried telling you a shitty joke, and you laughed again. Every time he heard it, he felt his chest loosen and his breathing eased. You seemed like yourself again, but he could tell the deaths of your parents changed you. You became more hardened, more focused, and angrier at the world around you. He noticed the way you took down infected with such ferocity, such disdain. It used to bother you, but now you could kill one without blinking an eye. He knew it was foolish to expect your innocence to remain intact, but every night he still wished he could somehow shield you from it all.

Somewhat full, you laid down on your cushion and wrapped yourself in your sleeping bag, exhaling softly and closing your eyes. Joel gazed at you a little longer than he should have before he leaned over to turn the lanterns off. Tomorrow, he knew you would have to venture back out into the cold and find some more food. He had hoped this restaurant would have had more than enough, but someone before him must have thought the same thing. He turned his head to glance over at you again in the darkness, listening to your steady breathing. He still ached for you, desperately. He hoped he didn't read the signals wrong that morning in your bedroom - there was no way he could have - but the more time that passed, the more unsure of himself he became. He was so close. So close to tasting you again, holding you in his arms, protecting you from the evil surrounding you.

He stared up at the ceiling and focused on falling asleep. He needed to be alert and well rested so you could finally find some food and get back on the road.

The two of you were walking down the street the next morning after having eaten the rest of the peanut butter and not much else. This part of town seemed to be abandoned by people, but you did come across a few infected. Most of the time, you heard them clamoring about in a closed up building you passed, but a few did cross your path that you had to take down. Joel had a theory that the infected slowed down in the colder months, that maybe they went dormant, or it was just harder for them to move. Whatever the reason, he seemed to be right. Even when you did come across one, they seemed a lot slower, making your job much easier.

As you made your way towards the end of the road, the houses and trees cleared and you could see further ahead, smiling when you saw a familiar logo. You turned to Joel, who seemed to notice it, too.

"I don't think I've ever been so excited to see a Walmart before," you said, smiling in his direction. He chuckled, shaking his head.

"It's a big store, we gotta be real careful. Ain't no way we can clear the whole place by ourselves," he told you as you entered the parking lot. "Gotta stay close together and be silent. No guns. Let's just stick to the grocery section, take what we need, and get the hell out." You nodded, looking at the building as you approached it from the outside, trying to listen for any noise coming from within. Joel put his hand out on your arm to stop you, making you twist around and giving him a confused look.

"I mean it," he said, looking serious. "Could be a whole hoard in there. And it'll be dark. It's risky."

"I know, I'll be careful, I promise," you gave him a look just as serious to prove you were paying attention. His eyes shifted back and forth between yours before nodding his head in the direction of the store.

You both stepped quietly inside the store through the broken sliding door, clicking on your flashlights and looking at your surroundings before making a move. Your attention went up to the signs hanging above the aisles, spotting the grocery section was straight ahead past the cash registers. The two of you crept forward, careful not to step on anything that would give away your position. You walked through the bakery, surrounded by moldy bread. So far, the place seemed quiet, but that didn't necessarily mean it was empty.

The store was reasonably picked over but there were a few things left on the shelves you could use. You packed your bag with rice, chicken broth, a few cans of dented soup, and a jar of pasta sauce. For the sake of being extra quiet, you motioned with your finger for Joel to step forward, and you stretched to whisper in his ear.

"We should check out the stock room," you said quietly, your breath tickling his neck. It wasn't the sexiest thing anyone had ever said to him, but that didn't matter. He nodded and suppressed the urge to shudder. He picked up his bag and led you to the end of the aisle, looking both ways before leading you to the swinging doors on the wall. Joel held out a hand for you to stay put while he pushed the door open a crack, sweeping his flashlight across the room. It had aisles, just like the store, but it wasn't as neatly organized. Once he confirmed it was safe, you both entered, scanning the shelves to pinpoint where the groceries were stocked. Your flashlight landed on a corner of the room where you recognized boxes of crackers and cans of vegetables. You nudged him with your elbow, and you both made your way over, checking down every aisle before advancing.

Your jaw dropped at the amount of food that was left. Someone had the same idea as you, it wasn't fully stocked, but it was much more well stocked than the shelves out front. You hurriedly packed your bags with as many useful items as you could carry. You were so hungry, but you had to resist the urge to rip into anything right then and there, afraid the noise of a wrapper would possibly draw attention.

You were just finishing up when Joel wandered towards the end of the aisle, his flashlight settling on something shiny the next aisle over. He squinted and bent down to get a closer look through the shelves. By the time he realized he was looking at blood pooling around a dead clicker, it was too late. A pair of arms reached out behind him, yanking him backwards. A hand covered his mouth and an arm squeezed around his neck, making his vision go fuzzy. His eyes shot over to you in a panic. You were still crouching over your backpacks, facing away from him, and zipping them closed. He brought his hands up and laced them together before driving his elbow behind him, hitting the man right in the diaphragm. The grip on his throat instantly loosened and the man doubled over coughing. You whipped around now, your knife already in your hand. You watched as Joel brought his knee up to the man's face twice, blood bursting from his mouth and nose, staining Joel's pants. Joel drove his knife into the man's eye, his body twitching before slumping on the floor at his feet.

Joel looked up just in time to see you dodging the knife of a second man, kicking him in the groin before shoving your knife between his ribs. He ran down the aisle to you, hearing the man's raspy breaths as blood filled his lungs. You pulled your knife out and stabbed him again, this time closer to the heart. The raspy breathing stopped, and his body relaxed against the linoleum floor. Joel sighed in relief, slowing his pace, his heart pounding.

Then he felt something hard hit the back of his head, causing him to fall forward, his vision narrowing as he fought the urge to pass out. Joel felt the heavy boot of his attacker sticking to his back as he tried to push himself up, but his head was swimming, and he couldn't find the strength. He collapsed back on the floor with a grunt, blinking his eyes frantically trying to clear his vision. He was struggling to breathe with the weight of the man's foot pressed on his back, and once again raised himself up to try and roll over when the pressure on his back was suddenly gone. He gasped for breath, pulling himself into a seated position and shaking his head wildly, his vision finally clearing.

You had tackled and pinned Joel's attacker on the ground, sitting on his chest as you struggled with his knife between the two of you, the blade pointed downwards towards his throat as you gritted your teeth and pushed down with everything you had. His feet kicked wildly underneath you, trying to roll you off, but you weren't budging, your eyes burning into his as the blade scratched at his throat. Joel stumbled to his feet, still dizzy, as he struggled to make his way towards you. With a loud grunt, you put all your weight onto the hilt of the knife, lifting off his chest and finally piercing through his skin until you could feel the tip of the knife make contact with the linoleum. He laid underneath you gurgling as blood poured from his neck, his eyes wild with fear. You panted heavily, letting your muscles relax after the strenuous fight. With your weight off his chest, the man was able to grab a second knife you hadn't noticed from his belt and stabbed frantically at your side, which you tried to swat away before his arm grew weak and he stopped breathing.

Joel's arms wrapped around you and lifted you off the dead man, turning you around to look at you closer with his flashlight. Your face was splattered with blood, your hair wild, covered with sweat and still gasping for air. He aimed his flashlight lower and noticed a big red circle of blood staining the side of your t-shirt. His breath caught in his throat and the adrenaline sharpened his vision as he lifted your shirt up gingerly. You winced when the fabric peeled away from your skin, not realizing you had been hurt until that moment.

"Oh, fuck," Joel whispered and his breathing picked up as he glanced around for something to stop the bleeding. You had been stabbed along your ribs and down your side. He couldn't tell how deep the wound was in the dark, but it was enough to cause you to bleed heavily. He grabbed a used rag from his jeans pocket, pressing on your wound firmly, making you cry out in pain. He wrapped your hands over the rag and instructed you to press as hard as you could. He ran back to grab your packs, slinging both backpacks, the rifle and the bow over his shoulder. When you saw him trying to pull everything onto his back, you held your hand out to him.

"Give me my pack," you rasped. He shook his head, still trying to find a way to carry it all. "Give it to me!" you raised your voice in a harsh whisper now, giving him a look that meant were serious. He relented, gently putting the straps over your shoulders, then pulling out a new rag to wedge between your side wound and the strap of your backpack.

You leaned on Joel as he led you out of the back room, pausing briefly to make sure there weren’t any others, then headed back towards the front door. It began snowing while you were inside, and the wind was picking up, making it difficult to see. He looked around, desperately trying to find a safe place to take you.

Across the street he could make out a strip mall, and one of the buildings looked like it was a dentist's office. It was a long walk across the big parking lot, but he moved as fast as he could while you leaned on him for support. He propped you up against the building to catch your breath as he used his knife to work the lock of the office open.

"Stay here," he instructed. You nodded weakly; your eyes half closed. He pushed the door open and checked to make sure the small office was empty of threats before taking you inside. He helped you sit down in one of the exam chairs, pushing it back so it reclined. You stared up at the ceiling and at the lamp dangling over your face. Joel pushed the curtains open in the room and looked down at the wound on your ribs, noticing the amount of blood increased due to the walk across the street: it was now trailing down past your hips and nearly touching your mid-thigh. He took the soiled rag from your hand and replaced it with a fresh one while he went to work ripping open drawers and cabinets. He finally found a needle and thread and a stack of stainless-steel bowls. He set the needle aside and picked up some of the bowls.

"You keep pressin' as hard as you can, you hear me?" he said, and you nodded as you draped your other arm across your eyes. "I gotta go out and get some snow, I'll be back in a minute. You holler if you need anythin'."

Joel stepped out the door with the bowls in his hand, glancing around to make sure no one had followed you. He scooped up snow into the bowls, grateful it had begun to storm since it would hide your tracks and keep any raiders away.

He came back into the room and saw you had nearly bled through another rag. He set a couple bowls aside to melt into drinkable water and took a handful from another, pressing it against your wound. You hissed at the contact, but after a minute the numbness from the cold made your muscles relax.

Joel dug around in his pack to find some rubbing alcohol he had taken from your apartment months ago. He found another clean rag to drench the alcohol in and removed the snow from your side.

“I ain’t gonna lie to you, this is gonna hurt. You need to hold onto somethin’?” he asked you, trying to hide the tremor in his hand. You shook your head, turning your face away from him and gripped the arm of the chair anyway. He pressed the alcohol-soaked rag onto the stab wound, finally cleaning some of the blood away to get a better look at what he was dealing with. You groaned and your body tensed, but you remained as still as possible while he cleaned you up. He could see a stab wound between two of your ribs. It didn’t look very deep, but it was wide. He made his way down your side, cleaning the blood up as he went with the snow and then the rag, refreshing it with alcohol when he needed to. There was a longer gash down the length of your side, maybe about five inches long. It was wide, but it was shallow. There were a few other scratches as well, but those would be fine to heal on their own. He gauged the main problem would be the wound between your ribs, and the long gash.

He turned around to prep the needle, filling a bowl with some rubbing alcohol and pulled out more rags. Turning back to you, he was startled to find you looking at him. He swallowed, bringing the needle and black thread towards you.

“Are you ready?” he asked you, and you nodded steadily, but he could see the fear in your eyes. He laid a hand on top of one of yours reassuringly. “I got this, I got you,” he said. You turned away from him then, staring at the wall opposite you as you braced for the pain. The first few times he pierced you with the needle hurt the most, then as you got used to the pain and knew what to expect, it got a little easier to handle. He took his time with the stab wound, he wanted to make sure he didn’t have to redo that later, then let you have a break before starting on the long gash. He told you it would only need a few stitches, just where the wound was the widest so it wouldn’t scar too badly. That part ended up hurting the most since it was closer to the bones of your ribs and there was less fat to cushion the pain.

Once the stitches were done, he rinsed everything with the rubbing alcohol from the bowl, his hands and needle included. He made a mental note to keep that needle in his pack in case one of you got hurt again.

“You hungry?” Joel asked you, and you nodded eagerly but then winced at the pain the movement caused. He dug around in his pack for some of the food you had grabbed from Walmart and set you up with a few things to eat, then went to explore the rest of the office in hopes of finding some medicine. He got lucky in the dentist’s actual office, finding a few bottles of antibiotics and some pain killers in his desk drawer. He made sure you took two antibiotics with your food before finding something to eat for himself. He sat hunched over against the wall in the room, looking down at his food and avoiding eye contact. You adjusted yourself in the chair so you could look at him and let out a whimper when the movement was too much. He shot up to help you, but you waved him off.

“What’s going on?” you asked him directly, staring him down. He looked up at you, his eyes filled with grief and anger.

“This was my fault,” he said bluntly, a clipped tone to his voice.  “I wasn’t payin’ attention, I should’ve seen that guy comin’, and it got you hurt. If somethin’ worse woulda happened, I never would’ve forgiven myself,” his voice broke at the end of his sentence, looking away from you so you couldn’t see the emotion in his eyes.

"It wasn't your fault. We got jumped, don't beat yourself up about it. Please," you told him, trying to catch his eye again but failing. "Joel?" you said, but he turned away, rubbing his hands up and down his face like he always does when he's frustrated. "Joel!" you called out again, this time more firmly. He stilled, and slowly turned to face you, dropping his hands to his sides.

"Us or them," you said, staring intently at him, desperately trying to communicate the words you couldn't say.

He let out a shaky sigh, and nodded, breaking eye contact with you and gazed out the window at the snow fall. "Shoulda been me," he said quietly.

"Yeah, well," you grunted as you struggled to sit up in the chair, "I'm glad it wasn't because I couldn't carry all our stuff and you out of there," he turned his head to look back at you, then giving him a smirk, added, "I would've left you for dead."

His lips twitched as he tried to hold back his grin at your joke, not ready to forgive himself yet. He cleared his throat and leaned over to sling your backpacks over his shoulders.

"The dentist had a couch in his office. C'mon, grab my shoulder, lean on me," he said, bending forward so you could get yourself into a standing position. It took a few tries; the pain was worse than you had expected now that you were moving. You slowly ambled down the hall with Joel, and he got you stretched out on the couch before he unzipped your sleeping bag and rested it on top of you like a blanket.

He rolled his own sleeping bag out on the floor next to you, grateful the couch came with two pillows. It had been a long time since either of you slept on one. It was still daylight out, but the blizzard made it darker outside. Joel let you rest while he went around the office to see if there was anything else of use now that he wasn't so frantic. He had completely missed the small break room towards the back of the building. He found some unopened bottles of water, snacks, a couple cans of soup and crackers. He spread all the usable food out on the table but brought the crackers back with him to check on you. You were still laying stiffly on the couch and staring at a stock photo of a beach on the wall, looking uncomfortable.

"Are you in pain? I got some pills from the drawer," Joel dug out the bottle and read the warning label. "They sound pretty strong." You shook your head, not wanting to dull your senses in case of another attack, but now that the stiffness was setting in, the pain was getting worse. You glanced out the window, seeing the storm outside. Deciding it was unlikely anyone would be out in the snow and find you, you changed your mind and stuck your hand out to him. He dropped two pills into your hand and gave you a water bottle.

"Here, have a little somethin’ more to eat with those, don't need you gettin' sick," he said, offering the crackers in your direction. You took the sleeve from him and munched on one slowly as you waited for the pills to kick in. Joel walked around to the desk and collapsed into the leather chair, kicking his feet up on the desktop and mindlessly flipped through open patient charts left on the desk. You shoved another cracker in your mouth and watched the snow coming down outside. You sat up a little more on the couch. The movement made you feel dizzy from the pills, but you hardly felt a thing at your side when you moved. Your eyes drifted lazily to Joel’s broad figure sitting behind the wooden desk. It brought back memories you hadn’t thought about in months. Memories of a different time, when you would sit on the other side of his desk all flustered and nervous.

He looked up and caught you staring at him. “What?” he asked, a bemused expression on his face. You shook your head but couldn’t stop the stupid smile from spreading across your face. Goddamn pills.

“Nothing, it’s just funny…” you started, trailing off and then giggled, causing Joel to raise his eyebrows and grin.

“Those pills must be workin’, huh?” he asked, his grin widening. You nodded, stifling your giggles and took a deep breath.

“I was just thinking, everyone used to be so scared of you in the office, they would warn me to steer clear of you, that you had a horrible temper. And look at us now,” you let out another giggle before continuing. “What the hell happened?”

He smiled at you again and tipped his head back on the top of the leather chair to look up towards the ceiling, remembering life the way it was before.

“Yeah, I was an asshole, wasn’t I?” he said, making you laugh harder now, then you clutched your side with a small wince. “Hey, take it easy, you might not feel anythin’ but you can still pop a stitch.” You quieted your laughter now, knowing he was right, and chewed the inside of your cheek thoughtfully, reminiscing about those days just 6 short months ago. Joel rolled his head to the side to look at you. “I didn’t scare you, though,” he said quietly, not sure why he was encouraging you while you were in this state.

You glanced back at him and shook your head, then held up one finger. “Only once,” you said definitively.

He stared at you and held his breath. He knew exactly what you were referring to: the argument the two of you had that was never brought up again. The day he called you a whore and ruined everything. He was the first to look away, casting his gaze back down on the desk before him. He should have apologized by now, he should have explained himself, but he always found an excuse to avoid it. Today’s excuse was you were too loopy on the pain pills and that conversation needed to happen when you both had a clear head. He pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers as you waited for him to say something. Anything to take back what he said. 

“I think you should get some sleep,” he finally told you, dropping his hand and looking up at you. You knew he was going to avoid talking about it, but you were still disappointed. The pills had really taken effect now as you felt your eyelids grow heavy. You sighed, scooting down to lay flat on the couch and pulling your sleeping bag over you. You closed your eyes but couldn’t resist saying one more thing.

“I would do anything for you,” you whispered before nodding off. Joel’s breath caught in his throat and his eyes fluttered shut as he tried to hold back the tears that unexpectedly sprung to his eyes.

“Me too, sweetheart,” he whispered back, but you were already asleep.

The storm let up after another day, which was just as well since it allowed you more time to heal. Joel didn’t want to stay long at this place, worried that the attackers had a larger group and would come looking for you. Once the snow stopped and you had replenished your backpacks with more rags, first aid, and the food from the break room, you were off at first light. You both realized quickly that you were making terrible time since the snow was knee deep and you were already struggling to stay balanced due to your injury. After a very slow mile, Joel had found a sturdy fallen branch for you that he broke down into a more manageable size, allowing you to use it like a cane in the snow. You had to admit that it made traveling a lot easier, but you were still fighting to hide the throbbing pain at your side. After another hour, Joel agreed to let you rest. He made sure you took your antibiotic and ate some more crackers. Your feet felt numb, even though you had 3 pairs of socks and thick hiking boots.

"Joel," you whined, looking up at him standing guard as he surveyed the thick forest around you. "How much longer are we going to walk? This snow is so deep, and my side is killing me."

"I gotta find us somewhere safe, then we can stay there til you're all healed up and we'll wait out the rest of winter, I promise," he said, looking down at you now and meeting your gaze, "I'm gonna take care of you."

You sighed and regretted complaining almost immediately. You could tell he was still beating himself up over how you got injured and you didn't want to keep reminding him of it. He was shouldering too many responsibilities and you could see the worry and anxiety behind his eyes.

"Alright, let's get moving, I'm good," you said, using your stick to pull yourself back up into a standing position. Joel glanced over you once more to make sure you were, in fact, 'good' like you claimed. Satisfied, he turned and led you through the woods. The trees were thick, mostly pine trees that kept all their needles in the winter. It was good to keep you hidden but it was also bad because it could keep someone else hidden, too.

After another few miles, Joel paused a moment to examine his map. He had a general idea where you were, but he didn’t exactly have a destination in mind. He just figured he would know it when he saw it, and it turned out, he was right.

His head was down examining the map in his hands as he walked through the forest and approaching a clearing. Now he wasn’t sure he knew where you were, since the location on the map still showed greenery up ahead. He was mumbling to himself about getting turned around when you gasped, and his head shot up.

You had stumbled across a small neighborhood of about ten or twelve houses, all surrounded by the lush forest you had just hiked through. He had to blink a few times, feeling like he was looking at an oasis in the desert. As you approached the neighborhood, you passed a sign that read 'Hidden Springs - lots starting at $200,000'.

"Man, they really knew what they were doing when they named this place," you joked as you walked side by side down the abandoned street. The houses were all finished except for three which were partially constructed, forever frozen in time.

"This must be a new neighborhood, that's why it ain't showing up on the map," Joel said excitedly as he spun around to make sure you were still alone. "I haven't seen any tracks or smoke or nothin', this place is off the grid," he turned to smile at you. "We can work with this."

You grinned happily, so relieved to finally have found a place where you could rest for more than a couple nights.

"Well, which house d'you want?" Joel asked, looking at all the houses up and down. They were mostly two-story houses, but there were a couple of small ranch homes interspersed. You spotted one in the middle of the neighborhood on your right-hand side and pointed to it. it was a white two-story house with blue shutters and a red door.

"I've always wanted a wraparound porch," you said. "What do you think?" He couldn't keep the smile off his face, the whole place seemed too good to be true and best of all, you would be happy and safe.

He made his way up the front porch to peer inside the windows. He didn't see any movement, and fortunately it looked like the previous owners had a chance to move in, spotting the fully furnished living room. He had insisted on making you wait outside until he could be certain the place was abandoned before letting you in. The house was beautiful and practically brand new. You drifted from room to room to get a feel for the layout: the stairs and a hallway leading to the kitchen faced you right as you walked in the front door, a living room to your right and a den to your left, and a half bath attached to the hallway. The kitchen had a small mudroom attached, which led to the backyard. Upstairs there were three bedrooms and a bathroom. The master bedroom was the only room that had windows facing the front of the house, so you chose to stay in that room, both of you slipping into the king size bed without even questioning if you should sleep apart.

Chapter Thirteen

Taglist: @chiogarza, @sparklejumpropequeen-777

[zzzzzestforlife]

day 8 of 30 // i'm not sorry 😌🌸

내 건강이 개선 입니다! 오늘은 이야기를 없어. 그냥 내 일상은 했다. 낫네 기분해요 ☺️ 어! 사실 하나만, 내 MBTI 다시 바끌있업니다. 대개 INFJ 입니다. 하지만 오후에 난 다른 시험 두개 했다. 첫번째 ENFJ 입니다, 하고 나서 ISFJ 입니다. 난 심리학은 공부해, 그래서 MBTI는 진짜가 아니야 알아요. 난 아직 재미있는 시험입니다 생각해. 너의 MBTI 뭐해요? 궁금입니다! (my health is improving! today there is no story. i just did my daily routine. i feel better ☺️ oh! just one thing, my MBTI changed again. usually it's INFJ. but this afternoon i did two different tests. first i was ENFJ, and then ISFJ. i study psychology, so i know MBTI isn't real. i still think it's an interesting/fun test. what is your MBTI? i'm curious!)

❤️ journalled reframing some negative automatic thoughts i've been having lately

🥰🥰 broke my running record! we are 1/3 of the way!! (my goal is to be able to run for 30 minutes straight, today i ran for 10!) also learned a new arm workout from my brother specifically to help me build the muscles needed to eventually do a pull up!

❤️ did an actual breathwork meditation to help me focus (i really don't know if this stuff works or not but i like being lazy and doing nothing but breathing lol)

📝📝📝 we back, y'all!!! wanted to focus on Japanese today and did 3 lessons!

📚 finally about a third of the way through reading All Creatures Great and Small 🙃 it was actually a good chapter again today. it feels like Herriot's beginning to hit his stride. my eyes are just not fully recovered enough to enjoy it properly yet 🙈

language learning recommendations 🙊

🎧 i might've recommended this channel before but they also have this type of video where you can listen to real conversations and i love this short in particular because she speaks slowly and clearly but it still sounds natural. there are captions in both Korean and English too!

🎧 i remember nothing from this video 😂 实际上我知道一点。看看了！ 我的卧室不干净因为我没有打扫。我的厨房很干净因为每天我需要打扫了。(actually, i know a little bit. look! my bedroom isn't clean because i didn't clean it — the adjective for clean is a different word from the verb for clean! my kitchen is clean because i need to clean it every day.)

🎧 konglish still makes me mad 😅 like 왜 왜 왜 (why why why) 🤬 this video was like 50% konglish and that's all i can remember now but i'll still recommend it because i like that she repeats the words a couple times after saying it.

中文：我的健康更好了！今天我没有故事。只是一天一天做了。我更好了 ☺️ 哦！实际上，有一个东西， 再次我的MBTI改变了。通常我是INFJ。但是下午上我做两个同考试。第一，我是ENFJ，和第二我是ISFJ。我学心理学了，所以我知道MBTI不真的。仍然我认为这个是很好玩了。你的MBTI什么样？我好奇的了啊！

💌 translating notes: there are no words in any language to express the fear that gripped me when i finished writing the paragraph above the cut in Korean and realized i would need to translate that into Chinese. but it wasn't as hard as i thought it would be at all!

🇯🇵日本語: 朝は好きです。(i like mornings.)

bonus: @solarsapphic tagged me in this game a few days ago (thank you 😘) and i finally did it! (ofc i had to make it k-pop themed 😅 you know we like to be on-brand in this household 😛)

i don't know how to make the pictures show up in order, so it's: animal (i am the dog 😂), place (I ❤️ BED), character (my PFP, ofc, hehe 🔪), food (almost everything tastes good if i'm in a good mood a.k.a. in the mood to dress up 🎀), season (i love the smell when it rains ☔), plant (i love little white flowers ☺️), crystal (i don't believe in energy crystals or whatever but i once had a collection of cute plain grey rocks just because, so, ummm... yeah 🪨), hobby (listening to music, sleeping, learning languages all in one pic 🤗), color (보라해 i purple you 💜)

tagging @studentbyday @obakanosandoitchi @phnxstudies @tea-tuesday @studykac @jukain4216 @lemonempress and anyone else who made it to the bottom of this post 😉

[whataperfectwasteoftime]

Common Grounds / Chapter 8

Pairing: Marcus Pike x f!Reader

Rating: E (explicit smut, 18+ only)

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: PIV sex, morning sex (kinda), food mention, soft!Marcus, and... What's this? A sprinkling of PLOT?

Summary: The morning after.

A/N: If you saw this go up earlier, NO YOU DIDN'T. My brain is mush and it was half-finished with an entire scene missing in the middle. Please read THIS VERSION if you managed to catch the earlier posting.

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

When you wake up, you don’t understand why your neck aches so much. It takes you a few moments to realize that you feel asleep at such an awkward angle because your head is squished into Marcus’s shoulder, rather than resting on your own pillow.

Marcus.

You suck in a breath as awareness rushes back to you. Marcus Pike is in your bed.

The man in question stirs when he feels you move, a soft, low noise in his throat as he shifts onto his side and gently pulls you close. His lips brush your forehead, and you let out a content sigh.

“What time is it?” Marcus murmurs.

“Dunno,” you mumble. “Still dark.”

You shift against him, and you feel his cock, already hard, against your body.

“Sorry,” Marcus rumbles with a smile in his voice. “Hazard of waking up.”

“Mmmm,” you hum and shift again, more purposefully this time. “I like it.”

Marcus chuckles deep in his throat, and guides you to turn onto your other side so that he’s spooning you. He kisses your neck as he pulls you flush against him, one of his large hands splaying against your rib cage just underneath your breasts. 

“Yes,” you whisper.

“Yes?” Marcus repeats.

“Yes–again,” you entreat. “Please.”

“Good,” Marcus chuckles, “I was hoping for an opportunity to be less rough.”

He spits on his hand and gently runs his fingers up and down your folds, making you inhale shakily.

“I liked it,” you whisper.

“I did too,” Marcus says lowly. “But as it turns out–” he breaks off with a little exhale as he notches himself at your entrance, “–there are a thousand ways I want to give you this cock, and I’m not gonna be satisfied until I’ve done them all.”  

He pushes in slowly, letting you feel every inch of him sliding against your walls. 

“F-Feel free to elaborate,” you quip, unable to keep the waver out of your voice as Marcus seats himself deeply, so deeply within you. 

Marcus chuckles again, rocking his hips, moving in sync with you, a slow and sensual dance that has you panting immediately. 

“So many ways,” Marcus repeats, his voice low and dark. “Wanna give it to you hard and fast until you can't speak, and I want to go so slow that you beg me for more,” he whispers in your ear, causing sparks to shoot up and down your spine. “I want to put you on your knees and watch your ass bounce as you take me, wanna fuck you against the wall in the shower…"

"Marcus," you whimper.

"Shhh, I'm not done," he teases. "I want you to straddle me on the couch, watch your perfect tits bounce in my face as you ride me. Wanna–fuck," he gasps as your pussy clenches involuntarily around him. "Wanna hold you in my lap while you keep my cock warm, and I want to fill you up and watch it drip out–"

"I want that too," you gasp. "All of it, but–ah!–I want you to come in me," you tell him. "I'm on birth control, I–I want to feel you."

"Oh yeah," Marcus groans. "I will, but you first, okay honey? You gotta come for me first."

“I–more, I-I need–” you babble, and with a little growl that goes straight to your pussy, Marcus shifts his weight, pressing you down, down, down, until you’re lying on your stomach with Marcus on top. 

You keen into the pillow at the change in angles. Marcus is pushing down, hitting something that immediately makes everything tighten around his cock. He works his hand underneath you and presses his fingers against your clit.

“You need it harder?” he rasps in your ear.

“Yeah,” you manage to gasp out. “H-Hard–”

Marcus’s other hand grips underneath your shoulder for leverage as he gives you exactly what you asked for. You sob and hang on, your fingers digging into his forearm as you clamp down around him over and over. 

“Never gonna get tired of that,” Marcus laughs breathlessly while you twitch with aftershocks. “You feel so good around me.”

“Then show me,” you tease him. “Fill me up.”

“Fuck,” Marcus groans loudly. “Shit, that will end it fast.”

“Fuck me full,” you simper with a devious smile. “Deep. Make me yours.”

Marcus makes a strangled, garbled noise–it isn’t really a word, nor is it a moan–and shoves himself flush against you, as deep as he can get as he finishes. 

“Shit–naughty, perfect girl,” Marcus is chuckling as he peppers kisses across your shoulder blade. “You did that on purpose.”

You laugh joyfully, loving Marcus’s playfulness in the bedroom. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

He nips the skin at the nape of your neck in retribution. “I hadn’t intended it to be over so soon.”

He pulls out and rolls back onto his side, not allowing you to slip from his arms, and settles back on the bed with a sigh.

“I thought you said you were going to be less rough,” you tease, your eyes already beginning to slip closed again.

“Wasn’t I?” Marcus pouts playfully. “At least until the end, there.”

“Mmhmm,” you agree tiredly. Caged in his arms, you fall asleep quickly.

When you wake up again to the sun streaming into your bedroom window, Marcus is gone.

—------------------------------------------

In the millisecond that it takes you to begin to panic, you hear the soft clatter of a pan in your kitchen. Slowly, you let out a breath. Looking around the room, you realize his pants are still on the floor, anyway. 

You shake your head, laughing at yourself and dispelling the split-second of terror.

Silly. Marcus wouldn’t leave.

Getting up, you throw on a shirt and pad softly into the kitchen, not knowing what to expect when you get there. 

Whatever you had expected, the sight of Marcus at your stove in just his boxers and a plain white t-shirt that stretches deliciously over his shoulders exceeds your wildest dreams. Jack Johnson is playing softly over the speaker on his phone, and…

“Are you cooking?” you ask in disbelief.

Startled, Marcus whirls around, a brilliant smile spreading across his face when he sees you standing, confused, behind him. 

“Good morning,” he says brightly.

“Good… morning,” you answer. “What–what are you–”

“I hope you like pancakes,” he says, a little bashfulness creeping into his expression.

Your brow furrows. “I do, but I didn’t think I had any pancake mix.”

Marcus shrugs. “Just need flour, sugar, baking powder, milk, butter, and eggs. All of which you had.” Suddenly, he seems hesitant and unsure. “I hope you… don’t mind.”

“Mind?” you parrot dumbly. “Marcus, you’re making me pancakes.”

“I usually put vanilla in them too, but I didn’t want to, uh, presume too much,” he says with a little half-smile, “and use up any expensive ingredients.”

“Marcus,” you say again, starting to laugh at the whole situation. “You’re making me breakfast. From scratch.”

“Well, yeah,” he says, sounding slightly affronted. “I mean–why wouldn’t I?”

“I can’t believe you’re a real person,” you joke. 

Marcus’s smile starts to fade, replaced with trepidation. “Is it too much? Honestly. You can… you can tell me if it’s too much.”

You immediately shake your head, walking up to him until the two of you are touching and you’re looking up into his soulful brown eyes. “No,” you assure him softly. “No, it’s not too much. I’ve just never–no one’s ever done this, and–”

Your eyes flutter closed as Marcus cups your cheek with his warm palm. “The way I see it, you take care of me every morning–and everyone else, for that matter–and it’s high time I return the favor.” His lips gently brush your forehead, and an embarrassing whimper escapes your lips at the tenderness. 

“Coffee?” he asks softly, his lips still brushing your skin.

“Yeah,” you agree breathlessly. “Coffee sounds perfect.”

Accepting the steaming cup gratefully, you smile as the song switches over to ‘Better Together.’

“Jack Johnson, huh?”

“I get that ‘Banana Pancakes’ song in my head whenever I make them,” Marcus admits with a laugh. 

“I don’t have any bananas.”

“I know, I checked,” he says with a grin. “Next time, maybe.”

Next time. 

While you’re still processing the idea that Marcus wants to do this again, the man in question turns back to the stove and flips the pancake over in the pan before transferring it onto a plate and handing it to you.

“Wow,” you intone softly. “This is–thanks.” 

“It’s not a problem,” Marcus says with a soft chuckle, grabbing his own plate and cup of coffee and sitting down at your little kitchen island. 

You moan exaggeratedly at the first bite of pancake. “Marcus, holy shit. I don’t think I can ever buy boxed mix again.”

“Next time I’ll wake you up and we can make some together,” he says with a smile. “I can’t believe I get to teach you a recipe.”

“I’d like that,” you tell him quietly?”

“Yeah? We could do it next week, or uh… tomorrow, or–” Marcus trails off, the tips of his ears turning pink.

“Whenever,” you murmur, smiling so wide it hurts. “Open invitation.”

“Good to know.” “I mean, you are my boyfriend, after all.”

“That’s true,” Marcus says with mock-seriousness. “I think we should celebrate by spending the day together.”

“Is that right?” you tease.

“Oh, absolutely,” Marcus answers with a glint in his eye. “But first–I have to admit, I’ve been staring at your little studio all morning.”

“My… my studio? Marcus, that’s a pile of paintings in the corner. It can hardly be classified as a studio.”

“I’ve been so tempted to look, but wanted to have your permission first. May I?”

Stunned into silence, you shrug, shake your head, and gesture weakly toward the “studio”–a paint-stained easel in the corner, surrounded by canvases.

“Yessss.” With a goofy pump of his fist, Marcus jumps up immediately and rushes over to it as if he’s a giddy art student.

You can’t help but laugh at his excitement, and the slight discomfort of having someone else in your space, scrutinizing your hobbies, your work, your life, melts away. It’s Marcus. It surprises you how comfortable you feel being vulnerable around him.

“Jesus, that’s a lot of art,” he remarks.

“Yeah, well, painting is my stress relief, so I paint more than I could ever sell.” 

Nodding, Marcus starts thumbing through the canvases, smiling at each new painting he uncovers.

Self-conscious of the haphazard piles of art, paint, and brushes, you grimace. “Sorry about the mess.”

Marcus shrugs. “Don’t be. I love to see the process.”

“My process is chaos.”

“A sign of genius.”

“Hardly,” you scoff. 

Marcus cocks his head to the side, a little crease on the bridge of his nose as he continues to look at your workspace, and doesn’t reply.

“...What?” 

Marcus blinks rapidly. “N-Nothing. I just, uh, thought of something. A–A work thing.”

“A work thing,” you repeat skeptically.

“A solution to a problem I’ve been having,” turning to look at you, he asks, “Have you ever done any exhibitions?”

“N-No, why–” 

“Would you like to?”

[cambionverse]

Happy March 29th!

Once again, it's Cambionverse Day and Jesse Turner's birthday. We don't have the next chapter of Envesseled ready to post yet, so we decided to post some excerpts from it instead! Please enjoy them, and as always, thank you for your patience <3

Amazon Rainforest, Brazil

"Do you think this is what it looks like?" asks Jesse as they leave, moving on foot through the towering forest until they find a place without angelic interference to let him jump. "In...Heaven or whatever. Where souls go. Do you think this is what Ben sees?"

Claire has dreaded the thought of Heaven since she was eleven years old, and some days she thinks she only survived this long out of fear of ending up there. Maybe this forest is a close analogue, if the way her skull feels about to vibrate off her spine is any indication.

"I keep thinking about what Marie said," he confesses. "About how he might be—happy there. With his mom."

"He's probably surrounded by angels," Claire retorts. "That's no one's idea of a good time, even if you're a Winchester." She doesn't want Ben to be happy in the afterlife, she realizes; either she is cruel enough to tear him out of Heaven, or cruel enough to hope he is suffering so that even being with her again would be a relief. She kicks away a vine that crosses their path and then crushes it under her heel out of sheer spite.

"But what if she's right?" says Jesse. "Don't you think—"

"No one asked you to think," she snaps. "I don't need the Antichrist's opinion of Heaven. Just take us to the next place."

Jesse stops. Claire does too, silent and glaring. He searches her face, and for a moment it's like he's looking at a stranger.

"I still want him back," Jesse says. "I didn't say I don't."

Claire flicks out her hand like she's drawing a sword. "Then stop wasting time," she says, "and let's go."

She kisses him again later that night, after a piece of grace in Kabul knocks her out too badly to continue. It's not an apology, and she doesn't try to make it one. But it does keep him from asking about Ben again.

Nile River, Egypt

"Just leave some for tomorrow," Jesse says as she wrings out her hair. The locals on shore haven't noticed them yet, but it's getting to be a close thing. "This is already more than we usually get in a day."

"I'm almost done," Claire mumbles. Her mouth tastes like copper. She reaches down again, gets hit with a flash of Castiel fighting off one of his brothers, and comes to with the river breaking across her face as Jesse pulls her up again.

"Claire," he says, holding her upright. "This is stupid. Just stop."

She ignores him, tries to pull away. When that doesn't work, she frowns and aims her mouth at his mouth instead. To her surprise, Jesse tightens his grip on her shoulders and stops her there too. When Claire's eyes refocus, she sees him watching her with a frown.

"Look," he says, quieter. "You can get your blood on my mouth if you want to. I'm still going to tell you you're going too far."

Claire reaches up to wipe her face, petulant, and only now notices that her nose has been bleeding all along. It's not that she didn't think he would notice the pattern, but he's not supposed to talk about it. A drop of red falls off her lip and stains the river red.

Jesse sighs. "It's not like I mind," he says. "The kissing, I mean, or whatever you want to call it. But just 'cause I like it doesn't mean I can't tell what you're doing."

"It's not a reward," Claire grouses.

"It can be whatever you like," says Jesse, too sincere. His hands are still holding her in place, holding her up. "You know that's always been true, don't you? And if you decide you don't want to do it anymore, that's also fine." His cheeks go a little red. "Or if, when Ben is back—"

The warmth of tolerant exasperation curdles in Claire's throat instantly. She pushes out of Jesse's arms, and this time he lets her go. "This isn't," she begins, and then chokes as the truth curse tries to twist her words. She smears more blood off her face and glares at the river. "My usual outlets aren't available right now. I've already explained what this does and doesn't mean to me. You have no excuse for wishful thinking."

She's glad she can't see whatever face he makes at that. By the time Jesse speaks again, his voice is as even as hers. "As I said. You'll do what you like." He steps out of the water. "Let me know when you're done."

Claire tastes blood the whole rest of her time in the Nile. They don't share a bed that night.

[icypantherwrites]

It is finished.

Words I wasn't sure I was ever going to be able to write, but at 11:51 pm last night they became reality.

Bottled Ocean is finished.

I am really, really proud of myself for being able to come back to this story. I started writing it in all the way back in May 2020 so it has been almost four years from start to finish and it's been a really long, bumpy road. So much has happened over those four years and the story went from a vibrant, engaged audience when it first published to, if I'm lucky, one or two engaged readers and maybe five reading it total. It's been really hard to put forth the energy into writing such a monster of a story (it is officially over 250,000 words long) knowing that there's no one there really to read it and even now I'll be lucky to have one or two engaged readers for it.

But it is done. My legacy after writing over 400 fanfictions in the last 7 years is not an incomplete story. It's something I can look back on and be proud of that I wrote that and as anyone knows, 250,000 words is not a small undertaking.

I had promised myself that if I went back to writing this I would finish the story before it began publishing again on Patreon (which resumes today) and then life hit. I had Covid the last two weeks and felt really terrible and dizzy and unable to focus. I thought writing fight scenes was hard, bah, writing fight scenes while you're distracted by the word 'sword' because it says 's-word' and going off on a tangent of swear words you think pirates would say while still trying to write a fight scene is hard. I kept going.

I reached yesterday morning and realized that I still had at least four chapters to write and I wasn't sure how I was going to do it and even if my deadline was self-imposed I was going to fail it.

I didn't.

Outside of taking breaks to walk the dog (it reached 42 here in Chicagoland and for this time of the year that's practically tropical) and guzzling down over half of a 2-liter of Dr. Pepper and trying to drink water in there too, I did it. I sat down, wrote my ass off, and a little over 16,000 words of the most pinnacle parts of the story as it all comes together and concludes I did it. I am exhausted and I honestly didn't even recall most of the final chapter so I went back and read it this morning and not to toot my horn but damn I'm a good writer, and I am just so relieved and happy it is done.

I am done too. My writing journey comes to an end with this story (I'll still for sure be posting on Patreon for the rest of 2024 though with my insane backlog and of course Bottled Ocean and some works on AO3 too) and I'm hanging up my keyboard. It has been a long seven years full of the good and the bad, the bright spots and the dark, but I can look back at this chapter of my life and see that I wrote over 3.2 million words worth of stories to share and I feel...

I feel content. And relieved and honestly my wrists are aching from pressing against my laptop all night, but I am happy. Thank you to all who came on this writing journey with me, who have been with me since As Color Fades Away posted in 2017 or stumbled across my works this year. It has been a life-changing seven years of writing.

I'll still be around here posting updates and hopefully, maybe, trying to get a few of y'all to bite at Bottled Ocean and join me in reading my final fanfiction, but this author is finally, finally finished and it is the start of a new adventure.

Thanks everyone ♥