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#I just want to put a readmore
kelocitta · 6 months
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In honor of the @rw-ship-showdown I wanted to write about Artihunter as someone who jokingly slapped them together pre-downpour and still thinks they are actually very compelling. Just not in the super soft love wins kinda way (Although I get why people like that more) And the only way I know how to do that is talking too much so heres a far too long slug essay-
Obviously the slugcats don't offer a ton of characterization but theres not nothing to work with. Their stories, whether by their roles in it or the overarching themes do provide a backbone to work with. Even gameplay itself can provide a bit. (for some more than others) Hunter, to me, is ultimately a story about selflessness. The goal is to revive Moon, which is very much an act of kindness from both Hunter and NSH. But the weight of that action is much more significant for Hunter- Hunter is deeply sick. They're on the clock, and for all their skill in combat none of that will ultimately help them to survive longer than their body can hold out. Moon is a close friend of NSH but that means little Hunter- Hunter really gets next to nothing out of helping them, and ultimately pays quiet a bit spending their limited time alive fighting to deliver that neuron so that someone else can live.
To spend ones limited days on helping another, in a game that very much stresses the unwavering cruelty of the world and nature- is pretty notable. (And you could even say that Hunter being the Hardmode of Rain World adds another layer to this)
And then we have Artificer. A storyline that very much stands out to people as more… villainous (so to speak) than the other slugcats. Artificer's story covers a lot of things. Trauma, violence, revenge, etc. Revenge is a bit of a selfish desire- That need to see someone hurt as they have hurt you. A punishment that ultimately does not fix whatever harm was done- but feels good to see because you were hurt and now those responsible share that pain.
Artificer's actions are founded in that need for revenge, their pups killed for overstepping boundaries they didn't know existed. Is it not fair for them to be angry at that, to punish the scavengers for their violence with their own? Why should the scavengers ever be forgiven when they and their pups were not? And that's how you get that loop- Harm for harm over and over.
The original action has been lost in a spiral of violence for violence. And here stands Artificer- their very spirit scarred. Not just because they sought revenge, but because they never ceased trying to scratch that itch for violence as an answer. Artificer only has two paths for their story- killing the scavenger king (Someone who, really, has little to do with the original 'crime' of the scavengers, but represents an important individual to them- as did the slugpups to Artificer), locking themselves as karma one for good and spending the rest of their life chasing creatures that no longer even fight back in a warped sense of closure- or to dissolve themselves in the acids of the void sea because they're too far gone to find any real peace.
They can't meaningfully recover from that state, not alone, twisting in on themselves. Even if they halt their actions, they've been using violence as a feeble defense against their own pain- violence that no longer has any real direction or basis. Artificer gets no real closure from killing the scavenger king. All they can do is continue the cycle, or try to scrub it away. No real peace in a prison of their own making. So you have a creature, who even with a strict timer on their life- a body that will crumble to disease, spends its last bit of time on saving another. And another who was so caught up in the pain of loss that were eaten alive by their own anger, poisoned their own soul on such a deep level even self-proclaimed gods have no solution for them. What peace can they offer each other? For Hunter, its only a fleeting moment of happiness- of selfish love, before their own body fails them. A bit of indulgence in something for themself. For Artificer, its a single, comforting thread to ground them again, something tangible to protect and care about again. But thats a thread that will ultimately be snapped under the cruel indifference of the world. Hunters timer will tick down regardless of if it takes another with it. Its a tragedy- its doomed to end badly. Whatever good it offers to either of them to find each other will only provide the fleeting comfort of a band-aid that will be ripped away too early. But all that can be worth indulging in anyway, if only for the moment. It doesn't change the ending, but the ending was never going to be happy. Its can so yuri
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unexpectedbrickattack · 9 months
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shenanigans
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g0nta-g0kuhara · 4 months
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The Chapter 4 Essay Part 1: Kokichi Ouma
A metapost on my thoughts on Kokichi’s overall motivations and Gonta’s actions during ch4. Split into two parts. You can find the Gonta half here: (LINK)
I think the way Kokichi acts when he’s telling the truth says something crucial about his personality. When he’s telling the genuine truth, his expression becomes carefully neutral.
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(post trial, chapter 1)
To me, it feels like he’s trying very hard to keep this face of neutrality. Normally, he’s able to expertly express any emotion that he wants to. In these moments, its almost like the emotion he’s feeling is so overpowering that he’s trying to repress it in order to maintain control over the face he presents to everyone else, but isn’t quite able to do so.
Kokichi is very careful about keeping people from seeing the parts of himself that he doesn’t choose to show. His villain persona and constant lying is part of this- He wants to keep people away from him. During the events of the killing game, he uses the distance that he creates in many ways. Part of it was that not having many close alliances allowed him to go off and do whatever he wanted during daily life. This let him explore the school and investigate the truth of the killing game without interruption or much attention. Lying also gave him distance between the game and himself. Pretending that the killing game was fun might’ve been his way to cope with everything that was happening. I think Kokichi is really damn good at separating himself from his emotions, lying to himself to do what he thinks needs to be done. This line from Chapter 1 is pretty telling…
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(post trial, chapter 1)
This was also something he says himself to Kaito in the exisal hanger during chapter 5.
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(post trial, chapter 5)
I’m inclined to believe everything that Kokichi says to Kaito in the exisal hanger. As Kiibo says when Kaito questions it, “I think his dying words may have been the honest truth.” Knowing he was about the die, and that he absolutely needed Kaito’s help to get his plan to break the killing game to work- to achieve his genuine, true goal- I don’t see any reason for him to lie.
This emotional distance extends past just the killing game. I think it's a key part of how he interacts with others around him.
Kokichi is an ultimate leader. I think he uses his talent throughout the game in an attempt to “lead” everyone from the shadows. He wanted to stop the killing game and escape with as many people as possible. However, his methods are very ends-justify-the-means. I believe that he did genuinely care about everyone at the ultimate academy, but in the detached way a distant king might care about his subjects. On the other hand, if he had to use or sacrifice a few as pawns for the greater good, that is what had to be done. It’s not like it didn’t emotionally affect him, but I think he was deliberately trying to keep his distance so that it would not impact him as much, and so that he could continue trying to tear the killing game apart with as many tools in his arsenal as possible.
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(post trial, chapter 5)
With this core motivation in mind, this brings us to Chapter 4.
In my opinion, the Killing Game Busters was never a plan that was meant to succeed. From an in-game perspective, the idea that he was originally going to follow this mercy kill plan doesn’t make sense to me. Firstly, Kokichi already had suspicions that they were being watched as early as chapter 3.
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(post trial, chapter 3)
…and he later confirms that he was fully convinced of this fact when Monokuma agreed to reuse the chapter 4 motive in the virtual world.
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(post trial, chapter 5)
He knew that this killing game was for somebody else’s entertainment. I’ll go a bit into the secret of the outside world in a moment, but considering this, I don’t think he ever fully believed in it. Choosing to mercy kill everyone, in the name of a “truth” that was incompatible with what he had discovered… just doesn’t make sense to me.
Not to mention, from a narrative standpoint, I think the idea that he was completely for this mercy kill plan, decided to throw out the plan mid-trial, and then start an entirely different plan to end the killing game in chapter 5, isn’t very compelling. It weakens Kokichi’s overall character by making his motivation less cohesive and making him seem less organized over all, which I think is one of his strengths as a character. A Kokichi that is this fickle with what he’s trying to do would not have been able to write the script for chapter 5.
I think he always had different goals in mind with the Killing Game Busters. The first was something that is made very clear in chapter 5, but started here in chapter 4: He wanted to stop the killing to give himself room to break the game while minimizing deaths. The second was to further villainize himself, for all the reasons I talked about above, and some more I will get into in a little bit.
Seeing the secret of the outside world was undoubtably disturbing, regardless of whether he believed it or not; there is a noticeable shift in how Kokichi acts before and after he swipes that card key. Combined with discovering that Miu, someone he’d been working with closely, was planning on murdering him, I believe that seeing the destruction of the outside world pushed him towards more drastic measures than what he had been doing in previous chapters. He decided that in order for his plan in chapter 5 to work (which he had almost certainly already been planning at this point, considering how elaborate it was), he needed to make everyone question if pursuing the truth was the right thing to do at all.
After Miu’s body discovery, nobody was really worried about losing this class trial. Everyone had seen how Shuichi had guided them all to the truth and caught the blackened three times in a row, despite the unique difficulties in each case. They had full confidence in his abilities.
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(investigation, chapter 4)
Shuichi is also not really doubting his abilities as a detective anymore. One of Shuichi’s core internal conflicts is his fear of the consequences of revealing the truth. Up to this point, it seems like he’s been moving past it. Especially after catching Korekiyo “Actual Serial Killer” Shinguji, who had no regrets or grey motivation for his killings. Shuichi’s morale, and subsequently everyone else’s, was at an all time high. (Of course, he was starting to feel a lot of pressure to solve these cases and save everyone on his own… but that’s another issue. ily Shuichi)
If Kokichi could take the wind out of Shuichi’s sails, really destroy the confidence he had built up so far, he could set up his impossible trial in chapter 5 to be more likely to work as intended. Everyone will be less motivated to try and figure out what happened if they are uncertain that finding the truth would actually result in anything good.
And I do believe he was trying to knock Shuichi off balance specifically. Damaging his confidence is one thing, but he was also deliberately trying to drive a wedge between him and Kaito. He antagonizes Kaito all chapter 4 investigation, including making up a nickname for Shuichi (“Shumai”) that directly riffs off Kaito’s closeness with Maki. He insists into the trial that he and Shuichi are partners now.
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(class trial, chapter 4)
(Sidenote: Kokichi’s behaviour during trial 4 is genuinely really interesting to me. On top of the direct digs like this, he says a lot more subtle things to get under Kaito’s skin during trial 4 that I think are super neat to pay attention to.)
Theoretically, pushing Kaito away from Shuichi, combined with the powerlessness he’ll feel in the wake of the truth of both trial 4 and the outside world, could make him easier to convince to join Kokichi’s “side”. He even directly asks Shuichi to team up with him before leaving the virtual world:
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(daily life, Chapter 4)
This leads me to believe that Shuichi was originally the one that Kokichi intended to use to build his impossible trial. I mean, if Shuichi was the one in the exisal hanger and presumed dead instead of Kaito, the chances of everyone else solving that mystery drops Significantly. Everyone else, aside from maybe Kiibo, was 100% convinced that Kokichi was the mastermind at that point. No one except Shuichi would’ve tried to dig as deep as he did, for better or for worse. I think this idea is supported by the note that Kokichi wrote next to Shuichi’s face on the whiteboard in his room (“trustworthy?”). He was clearly considering Shuichi as a person for one reason or another, and I believe this is it.
By condemning Gonta, who everyone else perceived as a kind soul who would never hurt anybody, someone who was struggling to understand what the virtual world even was with his amnesia, would be perceived by the others as kicking someone when they were down. Gonta has an absolutely miserable time through the accusations and wholly blames himself for how things turned out in the end. That, and Gonta’s actions were even well-intentioned. The secret of the outside world was apparently so horrible, Gonta thought it would be kinder to mercy kill everyone rather than force them to face it. This result would make everyone question if the truth was really as undoubtably good as they had come to think so far; Not only did Gonta suffer because they had to find the truth, but seeking the secret of the outside world would apparently also only lead to suffering. This would make them hesitate during Kokichi’s impossible trial.
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(class trial, chapter 4)
As I said before, Kokichi’s second goal for trial 4 was villainizing himself even further. He says that this was a goal himself to Kaito in chapter 5.
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(post trial, chapter 5)
Part of this villainization was just adding to the persona he had already created for himself and that I already talked about his motivations for before. The other part was what he says here. He specifically wanted everyone to think that he was the mastermind. This gave him leverage in two main ways. First, making himself appear to be the mastermind with an actual mastermind as hands off as Tsumugi genuinely gave him power over everyone else. He used this in chapter 5 to put a pause to the killings and give himself more room to enact his plan to break the killing game from the inside.
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(daily life, chapter 5)
Although he then says “You guys can commit suicide together or kill each other… / Or, you can change your mind and stay here! You’re welcome to do that too!”, having experienced the secret of the outside world already, I think he’s pretty confident in what they will be feeling in this moment. No one is going to kill each other, and he knows that. He wants them to take that second option for the time being while he sets up his plot.
Making himself appear like the mastermind also benefited his impossible trial plan directly. Everyone would be much more likely to vote for someone they were convinced was the mastermind rather than one of their friends. No one would suspect that it was really him that was the victim.
“Using Gonta and making him into a murderer” was a significant part of how he villainized himself, but the way he treated Gonta during this whole experience was also a major factor. Starting as early as just after Miu was killed, he begins to be really aggressively mean to Gonta. He just straight up bullies him throughout the second half of the trial.
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(daily life, chapter 4)
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(class trial, chapter 4)
And then, after all this, he acts remorseful and sides himself with Gonta at the very end. It isn't genuine emotion like he felt before Kaede's execution, shown by his neutral expression. To me, this uncharacteristically open expression of grief feels like it was just set up to exacerbate the impact of his cruelty after Gonta’s execution. At this point, everybody’s little faith in Kokichi has been shaken significantly. With the shock of the trial, maybe you Could start to believe they were on the same side, as a team. Then, at the reveal of the extent of Kokichi’s manipulation, that is all ripped painfully away again.
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(post trial, chapter 4)
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(post trial, chapter 4)
Even if these parts of trial 4 make my stomach turn, I don’t want to imply that Kokichi is completely cold-hearted and unfeeling. Actually, I think there were multiple moments in chapter 4 that show him struggling to regulate his emotions and keep face around everyone else while he enacted this plan.
1: I don’t think Kokichi initially planned to make the reveal that Gonta was the killer as dramatic (or frankly, a bit traumatic) as it ended up being. He had been carrying himself a certain way during the first half of the trial, and I think Shuichi lying to his face in front of everyone about Kokichi’s own alibi dramatically changed his attitude. I mean, Shuichi lied (as he had done almost every trial and gotten 0 flack for) and Tsumugi even called him out on it, but everyone believed him over Kokichi anyways. So when Kokichi lies, it’s completely inexcusable, even though he’s been working tirelessly on his own trying to save everyone?* But when SHUICHI lies, and gets caught in it, people go along with him? They don’t doubt their trust in him for even a second? This double standard infuriated him. It’s at this point that he completely shifts in energy. If Shuichi, no, everyone, is going to disrespect him like this, he was going to make them suffer for it.
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(class trial, chapter 4)
2: Kokichi only goes full villain after Kaito says “Kokichi, If you really cared for Gonta, explain yourself to everyone” in the post trial. I think that even though he was always going to paint himself as the villain, he was legitimately affected by the things that had just happened (Gonta’s death, Miu’s attempted murder, the secret of the outside world, even if he knew it wasn’t real) and what he’d just done. Even if he was trying hard not to be. The sudden shift he has from not saying anything to cackling about how little he cared about Gonta feels to me like he was kicking himself back into gear after trying to process some genuinely difficult emotions. 3: After Kokichi punches Kaito down, and everyone completely ignores him in favour of helping Kaito up, Shuichi says these iconic words to Kokichi: “Kaito always has us by his side, see? But no one wants to be around you. / You’re alone, Kokichi. And you always will be.” Kokichi responds like this:
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(Post-trial, chapter 4)
There’s something about the way he cuts himself off, pauses, and then his mask falls. I think Shuichi’s words got to him more than he wanted them to. Honestly, Kokichi’s attitude towards cooperation, keeping everyone at arm’s length, and insisting (to himself) that he (as a leader) must fix the killing game completely on his own just seems so lonely to me. Even if he is intentionally trying to alienate himself and get everyone to hate him, being so viscerally cut into like this must have hurt. Especially from someone he was trying to work to get onto his side. It’s no wonder he quickly left after this moment.
This is what I think drove Kokichi in chapter 4. He’s a leader who wants to “lead” his classmates into safety, but he isn’t afraid to use underhanded, cruel tactics if he thinks it will get him ahead in the game for the greater good. He viscerally represses his emotions in order to keep himself going and keep everyone else away from him. He tried to destroy Shuichi’s confidence and drive a wedge between him and Kaito to get him on his side for his plan. He used and made Gonta into a murderer to villainize himself and discourage everyone else from seeking the truth.
Whenever I imagine Kokichi on his own, out of the spotlight of the Audience or the eyes of his castmates, he’s never as expressive as he is in the open. I think in reality, Kokichi is a pretty depressed and lonely person. His clownish personality isn’t entirely a facade, and outside of a killing game scenario, I think he would act pretty similarly to how he does in game. But I do think that he uses it as a mask for his true emotions. While I feel like the “evil villain” persona is a genuine part of Kokichi’s personality, outside of the killing game he probably doesn’t act on it as deeply as he does in-game. I also think Kokichi struggles with letting people become close to him, even without anything on the line. The killing game just caused him to lean into these aspects of his personality hard, and in potentially the worst ways.
*I feel like here it’s important to mention that personally, I still think the collateral damage he caused in his attempts to stop the killing game matters. A lot. I don’t think he should be excused for the things he did, even if he had good intentions. This makes him a really interesting, morally grey character, and I like that about him.
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rat-on-string · 2 months
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My Voice Betrays Me- 4 page comic about being nonbinary.
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baldursyourgate · 21 days
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I think the new breakup didn't work for people is because it's too skewed towards one aspect of her character: the power-hungry part and seemingly forgotten the god hating part. Which is why I think some additions to the choices to bring the other side forth can make it work.
But on the other hand, I think people (including me) are also defining her too much by the god-hating part and kind of forgot about power hungry part.
Minthara is both of these parts.
Exhibit A: Sure, she hates Shar, but once Shadowheart became a Dark Justiciar, she admires the power that Shar has granted her.
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In the case where Nightsong is spared, Minthara pretty much think Shadowheart was robbed of her destiny.
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Sounds familiar?
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She's also ok with handing Shart's ass back to Viconia (who she is also not fond of), because the trade-off was manpower that aid our cause.
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Honestly, I think dealing with people she doesn't like to get the most out of it is just the average Menzoberranzan everyday activity.
All of that exists alongside the god-hating part:
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She sees the wisdom in both. The power-hungry breakup dialogue needs something to balance it out with her god hating side.
Take in the context of the breakup dialogue too: you all are in Bhaal's temple, met Orin, killed Orin - Minthara's tormentor, then Durge died & got resurrected, communicated with THE god of Murder (tm). Sure as hell shit's intense. It's likely she contributes everything that's been done was due to Durge's strength aka the slayer birthright.
Girl's freaking out that much power is gone.
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Yoinking from Reddit: "I think it's realistic for people to be blinded by power (power that could destroy the Netherbrain that once enslaved her, power that could help her exact vengeance) and became upset when it's gone. After all, she was really enamoured by "the Slayer" and did warn that she'll leave if Durge reject power, so this isn't totally out of whack like some comments I've read."
I'm too, on board with the idea of another dialogue that happens afterward at camp where she is calmer, and some time has passed so that she could think it through. I'm sure she can see the downsides of embracing Bhaal and the abundant advantages of doing otherwise. There, you can either reconcile with her or decide that her moment of "hypocrisy" and power-hungriness is a dealbreaker and end it once and for all.
That extra dialogue will make this complete I promise <3
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tazmiilly · 1 year
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yeah okay whatever
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karamazovanon · 5 months
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a collection of the live action raskolnikov from this post :D i thought this version was SO visually interesting so i did a bunch of redraws of stills (most of which aren't in that post oops, thank you @rknchan for sending them!!! <3)
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vialrush · 3 months
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LOL happy new year here's some arthur butt (full image under keep reading)
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findafight · 11 months
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This is kinda jumping off the Nancy needing to acknowledge when she's fucked up
I think Steve is the only one of the main older teens that have hurt another character and gone on to feel genuine remorse for his actions.
After the fight with Jonathan in season 1, he drops Carol and Tommy, goes back and cleans the theater sign, and goes to apologise. You can tell by his actions, his words, and his tone of voice that he knows he did wrong and wants to try to make it right.
This doesn't happen with any of the others, I'm thinking the other main older teens that have caused hurt are Jonathan, Nancy, Billy, and Eddie.
Jonathan caused hurt with the photos he took. I feel that, especially after the photo with Barb and the Demogorgon was realised, he didn't feel bad because he took the photos, he felt bad because he got caught. And with the photo of Barb, it's almost like the Dufferes were trying to justify him taking the photos, as if it made it ok. He never seems to show any remorse or any intention of apologising for invading Steve's (and Tommy and Carol's) privacy by taking the photos of a private gathering at Steve's house.
Nancy causes a lot of hurt. In season 1, it's her jumping between Steve and Jonathan. This is implied heavier when she's talking to Jonathan in season 2, "I waited" "Yeah, a month." She wanted Jonathan but defaulted to Steve because he wasn't ready, which wasn't fair to either of them. Actually in season 2, it's mostly her hurting Steve. The bathroom scene, and then in the alley the next day. She doesn't apologise for her words, she doesn't feel bad for hurting Steve, she just goes on the defensive when he tells her what had happened. And then sleeping with Jonathan before her and Seve had really broken up, one minute she's insisting to Murray that she loves Steve, and the next she's got Jonathan coming into the room and hooking up with him. She never seems to care about her relationship with Steve, or how her actions might hurt him, especially because he's already shown to be insecure about infidelity (I really think it would have been more interesting for them to show the fallout of Steve finding out about Nancy cheating in s2, and have him deal with his insecurities when Nancy had previously insisted there was nothing between her and Jonathan, alongside his issues stemming from his father's infidelity. And this could have been used into s3 and 4 for why he struggled to get dates, or can't keep a relationship, because he has trust issues and wants to try to prevent it from happening again). In season 3, she hurts Jonathan with her calling his financial worries "the Oliver Twist routine", she never apologises, never shows remorse and acts smug about it when Jonathan says that he was wrong. In season 4, she hurts Robin and Steve and Jonathan. She is bitchy to Robin in the library for no apparent reason other than jealousy over Steve, and never apologises. And again, she's stringing both Steve and Jonathan along. She's showing interest in Steve again because he's the one that is there. Then runs straight back into Jonathan's arms as if nothing had happened.
Billy is pretty self-explanatory. He scares and threatens Max. He attempts to run over Mike, Dustin and Lucas. He threatens Lucas. In season 3, he bullies a kid by calling him lard-ass in front of a crowded public pool. Even with the scene where he fights back and defends El from the Mindflayer, he's not showing remorse, he's not taking ownership of his actions and how they have impacted other people. He never shows any intent to make up for the harm he's done.
Eddie hurts Lucas. He has his biases and is so ingrained in the nerd vs jock high school clique mentality that its just fine to push out a kid that has another important event conflicting with the club. And he never apologises to Lucas for not postponing and for his attitude, I don't think we ever really see Eddie and Lucas directly interact with each other. If anything, his attitude and opinions are justified by Jason's actions, which further pushes the nerd vs jock thing.
So yeah, Steve is the only older teen to take responsibility for his actions that have caused hurt and then go on to try to make amends for the harm he caused.
(Sorry, I wasn't expecting this to be as long as it was, I just started typing it and the thoughts wouldn't stop coming)
You with this ask 🤝 Steve Harrington 🤝 me always: Robin has never done anything wrong in her life, ever. I know this and I love her.
Yaaaaa. These are the reasons that it's frustrating when someone tries to compare what Steve's done to another character when!!! Steve's apologized for that! He's changed! He was an asshole, and he realized he was an asshole and actively engaged in not being an asshole. Few else even acknowledged they were wrong. Sometimes the show doesn't even treat it as wrong! That's why I have issues with them, not that they did bad thing but that they never apologized or changed their actions to be better. And the show and narrative won't let them or address it.
I looked it up for another ask I haven't answered yet but Indiana's anti peeping law was put on the books in 1983. It basically states you can't take pictures of someone's private property or of them if they have reasonable assumption of privacy (like locker rooms) and some other stuff. Jonathan took those pictures, and then chose to develop them all at school. Where anyone could (and did!) See them! What the heck. Tommy, Carol, and Steve were all also in those pics, and even though Jon says to Nancy he never should have taken them, he never bothers apologizing to the others. (Probably because he thinks they're assholes but man if you want moral high ground actually take it?) I think it'd be one thing if he took the pictures and then never developed them, it wouldn't be right but it's be better than what he did. It's a bummer his camera got broken but uh. Tbh if I found out some weird guy took my and my friends pictures while we were goofing off in my back yard, some of which contained a topless photo of an intimate moment, and then developed them at school and I was sixteen I ALSO might break the guy's camera. (Which Steve then replaced!!) I'd at least want to watch him destroy the negatives and developed photos. Comments have been made about Steve closing the blinds but his house literally back onto the woods? Why would he when he didn't think anyone would be taking pictures of his bedroom window? Idk I don't think they should have had this inconsequential but deeply weird plot point. Have Jon taking pictures of the woods, accidentally get Barb and the demogorgon in Steve's backyard, and then another of the forest. Like. There ya go.
Nancy is sooooo messy. Let her be messy!!!!! But the show tries so hard for her to be out together badass always when he relationships are just. The messiest. She's waiting for Jonathan. She's getting with Steve. She's cheating on Steve. She's with Jonathan but she doesnt understand his financial stress. She's with Jonathan and they aren't tslking. She's flirting with Steve. That's interesting. That's messy. Show us how she deals with that. How she apologizes and grows from them! Nancy often just. Gets annoyed by people not listening to her lmao. She thinks she knows best and it bugs her when people disagree with her. She snaps at them. Doesn't apologize. Could be interesting to see the fallout of that but we won't ever! For her and Jonathan fighting in S3, from what I recall it was more of a break up than stancy in S2 fnrjkjfnd also!! They were both wrong there and both needed to apologize. Nancy was right to be angry at the misogynistic journalists. Jonathan was right to be worried about losing his job! How Jonathan apologized bugs me and how Nancy reacted to it also bugs me. Not great.
Also also. I don't think I've seen anyone actually mention this. But Nancy's shown consistently ignoring how opening up the darkroom door bugs/is actually really bad for Jonathan. He asks her to stop at least twice in S3 but she does it all the time! If he was developing film negatives, then all those photos would be blown out! They'd be ruined forever! It's not a haha quirky thing, it's something that's an active detriment to his job, and his passion! There's a reason darkrooms have their little 'in use' light, and it's so you don't barge in and wreck an entire roll of film!! It's super disrespectful of her to just. Not even care that she could be completely ruining something of his/his employer's by always shoving her way in. (I think the darkroom at the school had a little idk airlock which is a tiny darkroom before the real dark room to avoid contamination like that which is why the girl that told Steve about the pics was able to go in) And nobody ever talks about it? Idk if I had a hobby/passion/work that was very light sensitive and my partner didn't respect that and barged in when she knew I was working I'd be pissed and consider having a long talk about it.
Yeah. Billy is an unrepentant racist. Like. He didn't say sorry and he didn't learn to not be racist. Sorry for the traumatic childhood but. Maybe dont try to kill a thriteen year old when you're seventeen next time. but he did sacrifice himself. That wasn't redemption that was not letting some kids die. The absolute bare minimum when he knew he was already dead anyways. Also Billy should have been fired for calling that kid lardass actually. Literally what the hell. I'm a lifeguard and legitimately sometimes almost yell at kids on the sidewalk for running, but that instinct is to loudly and clearly call out WAAALK IINGG and giving them disappointed looks. Because everyone knows not to run on the pool deck but kids forget. You don't verbally berate a patron? Who is a child?? Why wasn't billy fired.
I've already talked about the Eddie thing but yes! Exactly! Lucas deserves an apology for getting dumped by his friends and hellfire. So much for freak solidarity I guess ┐⁠(⁠ ̄⁠ヘ⁠ ̄⁠)⁠┌
When Steve said something mean to Dustin that went too far when he was frustrated he immediately owned up to it and apologized. He's not perfect but he does apologize. King shit.
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familiariscanis · 2 years
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atsushi seeing dazai as a good guy, actually (underneath all the annoying/bizarre antics) is always interesting to me because i think it can come across as naive, sometimes, because we know that dazai is generally a pretty terrible human being with a broken moral compass and a body count in the hundreds so we’re like damn, really atsushi? this guy? 
but atsushi doesn’t have the perspective of the audience, and he hasn’t personally seen that side of dazai. he hasn’t seen how dazai acted to akutagawa how akutagawa acted to kyouka (ah. the cycle of abuse). atsushi knows that dazai is ex-mafia, that he’s capable and willing to do terrible things, but he doesn’t know the specifics or the extent, nor has he seen any of it personally.  
atsushi has never been an altruistic hero. he’s never been determined to save everyone. kunikida told atsushi that the ada weren’t heroes and that they can’t be heroes when he was trying to save kyouka, but atsushi wasn’t really trying to be a hero. he wasn’t driven by some moral need to save people, or even by simple compassion. there was compassion, but part of why atsushi needed to save kyouka was because he saw himself in her. he could not see his own worth in himself, could not see if he had a “right” to live, to exist, to take up space. he saw himself mirrored in kyouka, and he was compelled to rescue her largely because of his own sense of self depended on proving that people like them could get second chances. 
atsushi does not want people to die, but he’s willing to overlook things that people have done in the past if there is a personal connection, if he can relate to them. he sees akutagawa initially simply as violent, as a danger to himself, and responds defensively to akutagawa’s hatred of him, but he only starts to truly dislike him once he realizes his connection with kyouka and sees him as kyouka’s abuser. he didn’t like akutagawa, because he’s obviously not going to like someone who is hacking off his limbs and trying to kill him, but his initial reaction is more fear than hatred. he doesn’t want to fight back, he wants to stay the hell away from this weirdo. after meeting kyouka though, atsushi’s perception shifts. he begins to actively dislike him, and when akutagawa pushes, atsushi has to push back.
it’s only in season 3 when atsushi starts to realize that akutagawa is not too dissimilar from him and that perception shifts. akutagawa is as haunted by dazai as atsushi is by the headmaster. they’ve been able to work together before that, but the way they work together shifts after that revelation from “we’re beating up the same guy and are kind of weirdly in sync accidentally” to actually melding their abilities in an act of trust and intentional cooperation. he tells akutagawa to stop killing people. he might not be able to accept someone who is actively and currently a murderer, but he is able to overlook it if it’s in the past. he did it with kyouka, he did it with akutagawa and he did it with dazai.
this post took something of a detour, but the point is that atsushi sees things through the lens of his own abuse. dazai is a representation of escape from that life of abuse, giving him a place to live and a people to belong to. atsushi’s entire life changed when he pulled dazai from that river. and sure, maybe he’s frequently getting stabbed or having a limb chopped off these days, but he’s also been able to learn how to be more confident, and has started to accept himself and his past and move forward with it. he’s started to accept the tiger and to believe that he does have a right to live, that he does have worth. 
not only that, but dazai tries to be there for atsushi. dazai is not necessarily an empathetic or even sympathetic person, but he’s trying to be good and to be on the side that saves people. he’s the one who finds atsushi when the headmaster is killed, and while he’s not comforting, what he says makes atsushi feel that he has permission to grieve this man who hurt him the way that he needs to. atsushi sees dazai as a decent guy, actually, because dazai is decent to him. it doesn’t matter to him that dazai has killed before, because that’s in the past and it’s disconnected from him. in the here and now, in what atsushi can see, dazai is someone who has helped him. dazai is someone who is on his side, in a way that no adult had ever been in his life.
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mossy-rainfrog · 10 months
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hello everyone, I made a series of doodles to put inside of my copy of MobyDick and I would like to share them :3 pls enjoy:
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[ID: Two traditional drawings. Ahab shows off his new pegleg with a flourish. Ishmael infodumps about whales to a fond Queequeg. End ID.] [More detailed ID in ALT.]
New Leg Goofin is for chapters 108-9, when Ahab gets fitted with his new leg! it's right before a super devastating chapter so i needed to make myself laugh lmao
Wikipedia Page About Every Whale is for the whole goddamn book, honestly, but I chose to put it at the beginning of ch.32, Cetology, where Ishmael really does try to explain every whale ever
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[ID: A comic of Stubb and Flask bursting into Ahab's quarters, thinking the Captain is in danger, only to find Ahab and Fedallah playing a game of cards. End ID.] [More detailed ID in ALT.]
This gem belongs to p.344 where Stubb wonders if Fedallah means to kidnap Ahab, which was such a baffling ridiculous concept that I couldn't help but make fun of it. literally Ahab snuck this man on board bro, what the fuck is fedallah going to do to him. they're playing uno. shut up
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[ID: Two drawings, with the first showing Pip after being cast away, haunted and alone on the deck of the Pequod. The other shows Ishmael and Queequeg homoerotically grasping hands while processing whale sperm. End ID.] [More detailed ID in ALT.]
this goes out to chapters 93-95, because the UNREAL whiplash from "a child was just abandoned at sea" to "hey let's be horny about whale sperm" is still the most insane transition of all time. Ish, what the fuck
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[ID: A simply doodled meme diagram for how to greet a fellow amputee. The "wrong" answer shows Captains Ahab and Boomer shaking hands, while the "right" answers show Ahab in a handstand and then kicking his leg up high, both times to cross his prosthetic with Boomer's. End ID.] [More detailed ID in ALT.]
this goes out to p. 454. every interaction between these two absolutely delighted me but my mental image for the specific line about them "crossing ivory limbs" got. very silly.
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[ID: A small comic of Ahab asking the Harpooners to give him blood to temper his harpoon in. They stare back at him with varying expressions of confused, uncomfortable disbelief. End ID.]
the last one, for p.504. yknow that feel when your boss just walks up and asks you to bleed on his custom made harpoon??? yeah uh. normal workday things
anyways thank you for reading, I had a delightful time making these and am so very fond of them all, so yea :3
credit as always for the designs goes to the darling @pocketsizedquasar , as well as credit for pricelessly annotating my copy of MD and thus getting me to actually read it, love youuuu💙💙
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azurtai · 3 months
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@cyneris, prompt, send a letter to the moon & stars ✧ ̖́- accepting ! ↪[ dance ] sender whisks receiver onto to ‘ dance floor ’ ( can be actual or pretend ) / i would not be a true ☀️🌙 fan if i didn't send this 🤚 it would be a disservice to them and against everything i believe in 😿 it's what they deserve !
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the world was aglow, or so it seemed within this grand castle belonging to one of caelustum's nobility, obnoxiously showing everyone who attended what he possessed. chandeliers swirled upon ceiling, their diamonds glittering and dancing upon the bodies of all who attended. and here they were, resident of the underground empire now within a land that once belonged to the skies, how fitting. figure wrapped in soft silken threads, gown carrying the colors of night, of kissed black & haunting blue: fading into something much darker downwards where it pooled around like the lunar sea itself. not even the soft glimmers that adorned layers of dress could match the ethereal hue that was much like a moon - kissed blush upon cheeks. pearls that were wrapped around bare shoulders & exposed back the perfect canvas upon which the stars that adorned body shined through, intricate tattoo's inviting to the eye, hypnotizing. rare it was for them to be out of uniform yet rare it was not for them to show up uninvited to a ball that was not meant for outsiders - here they wandered around as if they were part of the elite of a land that had once been unknown to them. and rare it was not for elyon to walk upon the very ground as if they were divinity itself, no matter how rotten & broken they truly were.
yet, was it too much for them to have sought him out ? was it too much for them to have kept their presence here a secret ? no, glossy tiers curve up into a secretive smile, no it wasn't. whatever they did he would always accept, look at the carnage and tragedy they left behind and call them a sight a behold. bared skin for them to sink serrated teeth into, taking him whole. the only person now and forever that would look at them and ask for their madness, their hunger, their hollowness. the only person that had looked at the abyss that was their soul and willingly stepped inside. no thought was paid to the crowd that had surrounded them the moment high heels had demanded attention with sound alone. words of praise, of wonder, of compliments and hope that the illusive moon would pay attention to a pack of rats they could care less about. nevertheless, elyon allows a gloved hand to be lightly held by a noble, glow within azure blue hues distant and unbothered, a cold moon deep within winter's night.
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and then, oh then ! they feel him before they see him, soul core thrumming loudly and was it not a blessing that none of these people were attuned enough to the vampyre ( their magic ) that they could hear it sing ? there was a time where elyon despised the fact that stars would expose their thoughts whenever eyes laid upon a sorcerer of red, of the very flames that reigned inferno and danced with their own frozen fury, wrapped around their snow & ice and dared to kiss it gently yet with such fervor that elyon wished to simply drown in it. gold, harsh & blazing with the intensity of a thousand suns held their gaze, he who was born of glaring daylight [ ... ] of a welcoming dawn filled with the colors of crimson ichor itself. adorned in black and gold he was, their sundragon and how it thrills them that the crowd parts for him as if commanded by a silent order. a vision to behold ! never had they found another, anything else for that matter, to be beautiful but esra solheim was exactly that and more.
they have long forgotten the pests fighting to hold their hand, clinging onto it, hoping to gain their favor ( their attention ) but there would be no universe in which night incarnate would ever look away when day had risen. the world seems to fade away and fading away it did, carried by the confident strides of long legs, boots clicking upon marble floors, stygian cloak fluttering along and elyon has already started to move, abandoning admirers to the dust: high heels fall in step with esra, to meet him, and they need not even to extend hand for golden claws had found digits covered in the softest silk woven from night skies & wrapped within stark white jewelry crafted from an ending star with such ease ! elyon allows body to be twirled around, gown fluttering around form, held tightly by the sun who was unwilling to let them go [ and they would never want to either ... ] a full circle and elyon, gracefully, falls right into broad chest, eyes glowing with barely withheld amusement. ignoring the gasps and the whispering of a stunned crowd.
❝ you found me, esra solheim. ❞ it's breathed out before they feel esra's hand gliding down exposed back, trailing across dangling dawn - kissed pearls, feels the warmth he carried upon much colder skin; settling upon lower back while other still held their hand ever so tightly. i am not letting go. it's unspoken: it's why the azure mage nods lightly, already moving in tune with the pillar of caelestum's movements. the orchestra plays only for them, it roars when the sun and moon slide across the floor as if it were the very skies, it hums when they step in tandem; their colors melting together as if they were one ( perhaps they were, perhaps they always were ). when esra holds them tightly and dips them suddenly the laughter that escapes blood stained lips is one only born when with him. movements synchronized, in harmony, every time their eyes met elyon could see within it a tomorrow [ ... ] another day. the crowd had long disappeared from their mind, becoming one with the swirling surroundings, swallowed by the darkness that invaded the ballroom at behest of the mage. if there would be light let there be only upon a pair that found & chose one another. movements slow down slightly, enough for their arms to wrap around strong shoulders, hands finding one another to rest lightly against the back of esra' neck; swaying with tunes that would not stop until daylight would be permitted within the space once more.
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❝ you always find me, don't you ? ❞ only meant for him to hear. it's habit the way elyon leans closer, it's habit the way esra meets them halfway, tips of noses brushing against one another. hello, again - stay longer this time. ❝ my darling dragon knight, ready to whisk me away at a moment's notice, i am thrilled. ❞ words barely leave lips or they're dipped once more, ink strewn locks dance along with the sudden movement; esra's laughter is like a warm bonfire, meant to warm up their frozen core, make a place for itself within the gaping hole that was their soul. he would never let them fall, ready to catch them, if need be with his own body and soul ( that much they knew ). he'd never let them fall and if, oh if they did, would he not fall with them ? opal dusted lids lower to hide the swirling blue that would expose the moon's secret: that they didn't mind being caught if it was by one born of heat and flame.
perhaps esra knew it too for when they were pulled up again they taste the warmth of his heart & devotion upon their lips and this they would never refuse for he could handle every touch of frost they gave him in return. maybe one day this particular mage could verbalize it, understand it exactly but had esra ever pushed them for an answer ? an explanation ? no, he held their hand, poured endless devotion into their skin and promised to never leave them - stay by their side in blood & ruin - the endless end. in return elyon promised to themselves they would offer him whatever he so much asked / and what if it was them ? oh, oh ! and so elyon presses tighter against the sun, allows the tunes of the orchestra to sink into their skin, hoping to carry over their own song into the one who's impact upon their life caught them first by surprise and then intentionally; to never be let go again: not even in eternal death.
#𓂅ooc❟ queued by the moon ✧ ̖́-.#𓂅eternal night❟ delivered by the moon ✧ ̖́-.#cyneris#ok hear me out. just hear me out. this will be the longest reply i will EVER write in my whole rp career#like wtf is this ??? am i writing a whole one - shot here ?? it had no business becoming this monstrosity fdshjhgjk#i was clearly caught in my own feelings and this happened.#i put the rest in a readmore bc lawd it's too long. take this as a gift from me. a one time deal tho dfisjkag bc i cant ever#do this again. i want u to know after i wrote this i checked out tmblr and left it for the day dsHJJD#anyway: ☀️🌙 make me craZYYYY!!!!! certifiably unhinged . feral and undone !!!!#elyon lit that one meme of this one person sitting in the middle#and all these men/people wanting to offer cigs or whatever else rn jhsdfiag#THEY LIT SNEAKED INTO A NOBLE'S PARTY BC THEY SNOOPED AROUND AND FOUND#out esra was going to be there. WHO DOES IT LIKE THEM?? get you a s/o that gatecrashes a rich mans house#acts as if they OWN the place. barely pays#attention to anyone and the SECOND they lay eyes on you they only see you ??#listen.... ely & esra dancing. being the only ones on the dancefloor ... everyone forced to simply watch them ???#enchanted by it ?? also i will never get over the way elyon just zeroed in on esra the SECOND HE APPEARED. like that was it. nothing#else mattered. YOUR HONOR THEY ARE TOO FAR GONE :sob:#but also the way elyon has accepted that esra /accepts/ them wholly.their malice. their evil. their horrific way of looking at the world#esra accepts it. me: writing elyon's gradual descent into not rejecting their first instinct. did you know that elyon lit ( in their mind#kept bouncing between: wanting to be with esra. then getting disappointed in themselves. DISAPPOINTED YURE. they were the#'i am not angry just disappointed' meme @ themselves. 'elyon...how dare you even THINK this is normal? it's time to#go back to the woods'. i call this growth fjd but also the fact they ALWAYS kept coming back anyway. they entertained the possibility#but never thought it would become so /real/ that it would also become an issue with their OWN conditioning *sighs* anywy#to be elyon and be dipped by esra. to be elyon and have esra's devotion. what a life fsGlkjsd#i think i am nearing the tag cap sjhdfj take this and indulge in elyon & esra dancing together until sunrise :sobs:#i love them. i love them. i LOVE THEM !!!! and how complicated but intrinsically horrifyingly beautiful their relationship is BC they#saw each other's horrors and went: yes. i want you just like that. you're perfect. THEIR GROWTH YURE *chef kiss*#ok i gotta end this its getting ridic. also#kiss kiss and lots more kisses for you !! you'll see me in ur notifs again probs very soon fsdhLKDSFK idk the queue will tell! mwah!
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imminent-danger-came · 8 months
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Is there anything that causes you lmk brainrot that you weren’t asked about yet? :o
Cause I absolutely love reading your analysis’ and/or your scattered thoughts. If so, this is a demand that you share with the class! No matter what it is!
I'm going to use this as an opportunity to go on a rant about 2x08! It's one of my favorite eps in the whole show and I'd love to talk about why that is.
I wanna talk about Sandy destroying the bear mountain. Can we talk about Sandy destroying the bear mountain? Let's start with Sandy destroying the Bear Mountain:
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This alone contributes so much to not only the ep itself but to the hurt/pain motif (or theme) in the show as a whole. Sandy is the gentle giant who doesn't want to fight, mainly because he doesn't want to use his strength to hurt anyone or anything. We see this resolve all the way in the AHIB special:
Sandy: "That's a lot to take in. You know what I do to people who disrupt the peace? Serve them tea! [...] But I'm tellin' you now old friend: if things get hairy, I've changed. I don't go around picking fights no more!"
And it's the first thing he attempts with the Huntsman:
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But, the Huntsman presses all the right buttons, Sandy snaps, and because he does so destruction follows (specifically the destruction of that beautiful Bear Mountain that brought him so much awe before, which he has now removed from the world), and it's proof of what Curse MK speaks of:
Curse MK: "Such pitiful creatures. Cowardly, reckless, monstrosities—all doomed to play a role in tearing this world apart, to cause nothing but chaos and destruction."
(4x07 Pitiful Creatures)
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It's proof of what even MK speaks of:
MK: "No matter what I do, it's going to lead to pain. It's like the Lady Bone Demon said—it doesn't matter if I want to help people or not, everything I do just- it just makes things worse!"
(4x08 The Brotherhood)
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BUT, the same "Better than we found it" s4 philosophy still applies here, and the first thing Sandy does is check on the surrounding animals and then the crimson jimsonweed:
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Even if there was some destruction, the creatures of this forest all made it out okay. And ultimately, because Sandy was there he was able to get what he needed to save MK.
The 2x08 conflict also parallels two other fights in the show: Both Sha Wujing V Pigsy in 4x06 and Azure V MK in 4x13 (I think this flips towards the end of the fight, with it becoming more like MK V Azure). Each fight pushes one half of the conflict to the "breaking point" (Sandy, Pigsy, MK, then Azure) and in-turn revealing something quite monstrous within each of them. (("What's wrong, isn't this what you wanted?" - "You wanna see a monster, I can show you a monster!" - "Well alright then." - "No, this isn't what I wanted!")
The way Sandy explodes and destroys his own clothing in 2x08 reminds me of how MK does the exact same thing in 4x13 Rip and Tear:
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And I think some of what Sha Wujing says is easily applicable to all 3 situations:
Sha Wujing: "But you were too weak to be who you truly are! I am a monster! That's what the world wants me to be, so that's what I'm gonna give 'em!" ((Curse MK: "You can't escape it. This thing, whatever you are, embrace it. Embrace your destiny.")) [[The Huntsman: "All it took to bring out the beast was smacking around some of your woodland friends ey?"]]
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All 3 fights come down to what the attacker wants from the defender (who then turns into an attacker lol). The Huntsman wants Sandy to go berserk out of pure dark curiosity. Sha Wujing wants to "see a monster", want's Pigsy to give him a true fight. Azure wants MK to turn on Wukong and understand why Wukong isn't worth his loyalty. All attackers end up failing, in their own ways.
And I just think it's neat!
I especially think it's super neat that the Huntsman wanted Sandy to be a monster, ("What's wrong, isn't this what you wanted?") but ultimately Sandy proved he wasn't. Sha Wujing in contrast wanted to prove he was a monster, because "that's what the world [wanted him] to be", and almost did before Mo stepped in.
So next season (or just eventually), I really am hoping for some Sandy backstory! I have my OG Sandy is Current Sandy theory, but I'll love anything they give me. Sandy went through some pre-series character development, and I want to know what was and why it was! MK feels like he's currently following in Sandy's footsteps (in a way), so I'm thinkin' Sandy will be instrumental in helping MK with his current Monkey Form conundrums (or at least in my dreams he will be). Sandy's "No!" during 4x13 when MK explodes into his Monkey Form haunts me, and I'm always one to stand in front of my conspiracy board!
Bonus parallel:
Sandy: "Hurting others isn't a measure of one's strength—took me a really long time to realize that. As long as I'm doing something to help out a friend, I don't mind what it is! I just want to be there for 'em when they need me."
(2x08 To Catch A Leaf)
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MK: “You don’t know! We’d risk it for sure! I won’t abandon them when they need us.”
(4x02 New Adventures)
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ectochoir · 2 months
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people who put entire x reader fanfics in a character tag without putting a readmore on them are harmful to the tumblr ecosystem, specifically the me enjoying the website part of it.
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depoteka · 2 months
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last week @nxposure tagged me in two different tag games and now i have some time to answer! thank you, dear!
first game: 15 questions
Are you named after anyone? no, i'm not. my parents just liked the name. but allegedly for a short while they considered naming me after a song by a band they love and i dislike. i thank god everyday that in the end they decided to name me weronika instead
When was the last time you cried? this month? or last month? i don't remember
Do you have kids? i don't but i want to in the future
What sports do you play/ have you played? only PE classes at school. would love to start doing some yoga at home tho because i don't move much other than evening walks from time to time
Do you use sarcasm? i suppose. i don't pay attention to that
What is the first thing you notice about people? hard to say, i'd say general vibe. having some sort of social anxiety and experiences with bullying makes you decide pretty fast if the other person is nice to you or if they make you uncomfortable
What's your eye color? dark green. sort of blueish
Scary movies or happy endings? happy endings. i avoid horror movies at all cost (with some exceptions)
Any talents? uh i guess crocheting! not an expert on it and cannot make my own patterns but it makes me and some other people happy
Where were you born? poland, in a shitty hospital in a different town so i don't even have my hometown on my birth certificate
What are your hobbies? as tumblr puts it "media consumption" (watching movies and listening to music) but also crocheting like i said previously
Do you have any pets? a black cat! she lives with my parents so i don't see her that often now
How tall are you? 162cm which is 5 feet 6 inches i believe. i've had to convert inches to centimeters in so many crochet patterns and i still don't remember how much an inch is
Favorite subject in school? english because it was the easiest class for me. i also liked history and geography
Dream job? translating movies but they don't give me a deadline and i can just make the most perfect translation. or i could do voiceover for nature documentaries. an impossible job is an old hollywood movie star or a rockstar in the 70s
and now the second game!! 5 songs i like. i think i will just list things i've been listening to lately
i went thru sleater-kinney's discography again after the release of their new album because well, i didn't like the new album. so i'll stick to their older ones
spotify reminded me about this song by putting it on my discover weekly playlist and i'm just looping it constantly
peter!!! i love this song, the ending especially (and also the reworked version of this from birdy soundtrack)
finally watched shaft the other day and i love this instrumental
haven't heard this song in years but now i'm listening to it a lot like it's 2008 again
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gloriousmonsters · 10 months
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subjective opinions if people enjoyed it and got something out of it I'm glad I know my reaction is very much colored by personal feelings etc etc, but it's still such a shock to see people cite mon:strous regim/ent as a great pratchett novel for Queer Reasons or say they like it for that because when I read it I liked the anti-war bits but it's still my least favorite di/scworld book ever because of how all the gender stuff is played. like. so much of it just felt like 'yes, the only reason girls would be would be masculine IS to Escape Femininity, and the only reason you'd STAY 'a man' is because you'd be a failure as a woman'. also the contrast between the commonly labeled transfem narrative of the dwarves being 'they were female all along and are fighting to express it' vs the commonly-labeled transmasc MR being being at least on paper about Women Pretending To Be Men... feels bad yknow
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