#I know I am being That Guy about a fictional dude who is muderous and reprehensible ect ect but like. but listen.

[capricorndevil15]

I do truly believe if Orlam went to a rave it would heal him.

[hissyreviews]

October Reads

October is the month of spooks. So it makes sense that this is the month of the spooky books. This will be the same format as last month. There will be the book’s synopsis, my quick thoughts (though no one can say that they are intelligent), then my arbitrary ranking of the book. Under the read more!

Horns by Joe Hill

Merrin Williams is dead, slaughtered under inexplicable circumstances, leaving her beloved boyfriend Ignatius Perrish as the only suspect. On the first anniversary of Merrin’s muder, Ig spends the night drunk and doin awful things. When he wakes the next morning he has a thunderous hangover. . . and horns growing from his temples. Ig possesses a terrible new power to go with his terrible new look - a macabre gift he intends to use to find the monster who killed his one true love. Being good and praying for the best got him nowhere. Now it’s time for revenge. . . It’s time the devil had his due.

Thoughts: Alright, let’s discuss how great this book is. I truly believe that Joe Hill is one of the eminent horror writers of our time. I think he is just as good as Stephen King, although I like him more. There is less meandering in writing, it is tight and the story is devilishly good. I really like how it goes about the powers that Ig gains. It makes logical sense. But I truly hate Ig’s name. It’s fucking stupid. Ignatius bitch, his brother’s name is Terry! His parents were punishing him.

Rating: 8/10 would recommend

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

On a warm summer morning in North Carthage, Missouri is is Nick and Amy Dunne’s fifth wedding anniversary. Presents are being wrapped and plans are being made when Nick’s clever and beautiful wife disappears. As the police begin to investigate, the town golden boy parades a series of lies, deceits, and inappropriate behavior. Nick is oddly evasive, and he’s definitely bitter - but is he really a killer.

Thoughts: This book really makes me think about the movie. I knew that Flynn had written the screenplay for the movie but she puts everything into it. I have never said this before but if you have watched the movie you wouldn’t need to read this book. If you read this book, then you know every move in the movie. There are more diary entries, more inner monologues, but you know what pick one or the other or both. You’ll know the whole story no matter which you pick.

Rating: 9/10 would definitely recommend either movie or book

The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson

First published in 1959, Shirley Jackson’s The Haunting of Hill House has been hailed as a perfect work of unnerving terror. It is the story of four seekers who arrive at a notoriously ufriendly pile called Hill House: Dr. Montague, an occult scholar looking for solid evidence of a haunting; Theodora, his light hearted assistant; Eleanor, a friendless, fragile young woman well acquainted with poltergeist; and Luke, the future heir of Hill House. At first, their stay seems destined to be merely a chilling encounter with inexplicable phenomena. But Hill House is gathering its powers - and soon it will choose one of them to make its own.

Thoughts: This novel is the quintessential haunted house novel. I really believe that it is the heavy hitter in the genre. I loved the characterizations in here and the setting was foreboding. Hill House echoes in the mind. You can feel it emanating from the pages as you read. If you like ghost stories you need to read this classic.

Rating: 9/10 buy it for your bookshelf

Beastly by Alex Flinn

I am a beast. A beast. Not quite wolf or gorilla or dog, but a horrible new creature with fangs, claws, and hair springing from every pore. I am a walking monster. You think I’m talkign fairy tales? No way. The place is New York City. The time is now. And I’ll stay this way forever - unless I can break the spell. Yes, the spell, the one the witch in my English class cast on me. Why did she turn me into a beast who hides by day and prowls by night? I’ll tell you how I used to be Kyle Kingsbury, the guy you wished you were, with money, perfect looks, the perfect girl, and the perfect life. And then, I’ll tell you how I became perfectly . . . beastly

Thoughts: Yawn. I wanted something to lighten up my October and this was only an hour and a half read. I think it would be more interesting if I had read it when I was the target demographic. There are some cute things: the chat room for cursed individuals. Great idea! How Kyle looked? Cool deal. The fact that he still needs to find someone to love and stuff. Meh.

Rating: 3/10 get it for a kid who likes fairy tales. They’ll probably enjoy it.

Room by Emma Donoghue

To five-year-old Jack, Room is the world. It’s where he was born, it’s where he and his Ma eat and sleep and play and learn. At night, Ma shuts his safely in the wardrobe, where Jack is meant to be asleep when Old Nick visits. Room is home to Jack, but to Ma it’s the prison where she has been held for seven years. Through her fierce love for her son, she has created a life for him in this eleven-by-eleven- foot space. But Jack’s curiosity is building alongside Ma’s own desperation - and she knows that Room cannot contain either much longer. Room is a tale at once shocking, riveting, exhilarating - a story of unconquerable love in harrowing circumstances, and of the diamond-hard bond between a mother and her child.

Thoughts: This is a very rough book to read. It is told from Jack’s perspective. And it really shows you how the a child doesn’t see anything wrong with being confined to a small space. The book is divided in such a way as to feel like two different stories. Them in the room and their lives post-Room. Neither are easy. The novel was written in 2010 a year after Jaycee Dugard was rescued from her abductors with her two daughters fathered by the man. Six years later Rosalynn McGinnis was rescued after being held captive for twenty years with her nine children fathered by her abductor. Room is fictional but the cases that inspired it, the cases that are still being solved that are almost beat by beat identical to the story are very real.

Rating: 6/10 didn’t truly enjoy because it is a rough read. Very very rough. Will make you think about the women who have suffered this travesty.

Hidden Bodies by Caroline Kepnes

Joe Goldberg is no stranger to hiding bodies. In the past ten years, this thritysomething has buried four of them, collateral damage in his quest for love. Now he’s heading west to Los Angeles, the city of second chances, determined to put his past behind him. In Hollywood, Joe blends in effortlessly with his fellow young upstarts. He eats guac, works in a bookstore, and flirts with a journalist neighbor. But while others seem fixated on their own reflections, Joe can’t stop looking over his shoulder. The problem with hidden bodies is that they don’t always stay that way. They reemerge, like dark thoughts, multiplying and threatening to destroy what Joe wants most: true love. And when he finds it in a darkened room in a Soho House, he’s more desperate than ever to keep his secrets buried. He doesn’t want to hurt his new girlfriend - he wants to be with her forever. But if she ever finds out what he’s done, he may not have a choice. . .

Thoughts: Dude, this is just as creepy as You and it pops off much quicker. Like damn Joe pop a chill pill. Leave the peeps alone you crazy stalker. If you liked You you will like this book. It is a solid sequel. I just gotta say that ending?! What the hell Kepnes!?! Can a gal get a satisfying conclusion to the story where she’s been begging for the cops to arrest our lovely protagonist the entire time. Damn girl!

Rating: 8/10 would recommend. Very creepy.

The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks

Don’t be carefree and foolish with your most precious asset - life. This book is your key to survival against the hordes of undead who may be stalking you right now without your even knowing it. The Zombie Survival Guide offers complete protection through trusted, proven tips for safeguarding yourself and your loved ones against the living dead. It is a book that can save your life.

Thoughts: Bitch what can I say? It was October. I wanted to read some kitschy shit. Mmkay?

Rating: 5/10 Fun but not serious in any way, shape, or form.

The Magicians by Lev Grossman

Quentin Coldwater is brilliant but miserable A high school math genius, he’s secretly fascinated with a series of children’s fantasy novels set in a magical land called Fillory, and real life is disappointing by comparison. When Quentin is unexpectedly admitted to an elite, secret college of magic, it looks like his wildest dreams may have come true. But his newfound powers lead him down a rabbit hole of hedonism and disillusionment, and ultimately to the dark secret behind the story of Fillory. The land of his childhood fantasies turns out to be much darker and more dangerous than he ever could have imagined. . . .

Thoughts: This is like Harry Potter if they went to an after high school secondary education. Hello wizard college. Speaking of, why isn’t there a wizard college or university in Harry Potter? I mean no one tell JK she’ll fuck it up but really? I’m just saying. Very fun, moves quickly. Also goes over how just because you get what you want doesn’t mean you’ll be happy. Like dude can control magic and he’s still not happy. Some people just need some anti-depressants man.

Rating: 9/10 would definitely recommend

Ghost Hunters by Deborah Blum

At the close of the nineteenth century, as Darwin’s theory of evolution gave birth to a golden age of rationalism, a small group of scientists launched a determined investigation into “unexplainable” incidences of clairvoyance and ghostly visitations. Led by William James, the renowned philosopher and professor of psychiatry at Harvard, they staked their reputations, their careers, even their sanity on one of the most extraordinary psychological quests ever undertaken: to empirically prove the existence of ghosts, spirits, and psychic phenomena. What they pursued -- and what they found -- raises questions as fascinating today as they were then.

Thoughts: This is in the same vein as Mary Roach’s Spook. It is a historical search into some of the first scientific expeditions into the afterlife. And you know what? That’s what science is about. Looking into a subject to gain empirical evidence that could revolutionize the world? What actual scientist would not jump at the chance? Man, I read it and was just like, wow, scientist can be really fucking stupid. Just perform some experiments champ. Stop being a stubborn close-minded bitch. You know those people who are like “we just cease to exist when we die” and those who are like “you have a soul and you have to follow my religion or you will burn in hell when you die” both are close-minded twat waffles.

Thoughts: 8/10 would recommend to a scientist so they can see how fucking rude their fields were to those attempting to use science to explain the metaphysical world.

Red Dragon by Thomas Harris

Will Graham has a fearful gift - a taletn for the pursuit of human monsters. He has caught two mass murderers in his FBI career. Now he must hunt again. A ritual murderer has struck twice, killing entire families in two South-eastern cities. Graham must find him before the moon is full again or another family will die. Graham’s keen empathy permits him - sometimes forces him - to see the crimes from some haunting points of view. This ability and his forensic skills make him the prime threat to the murderer. The killer, Francis Dolarhyde, is a terrible accident of nature, shaped by his early life into a monster. He’s trying to work things out, though. So far his efforts have cost ten lives. He intends to do something about that. In a chilling race against time, Graham searches desperately after Dolarhyde, always conscious that he and the killer are, at some fundamental level, alike. And in one terrifying respect he is right. Like him, the murderer is a ruthless hunter, already beginning his search for Will Graham.

Thoughts: First, the synopsis gives the entire story away. And to be honest I enjoyed this book however, I love my girl Clarice so much more. Would it be different if I had read this first? Maybe. Dolarhyde has sections in this book that are my favorite parts. They are messed up but the glimpses into that mind are fascinating. An enjoyable read.

Rating: 8/10 would recommend you read before Silence of the Lambs cause you will like that one more but this one deserves a read