#I know i hurt my fellow trans people

[jaymesdoodles]

I feel like people don't understand how easy it is to fall into exclusionist thinking. Like I was a super accepting kid when I first realized I was queer. Once I realized I was trans, the story really shifted. And I fell into that thinking that their needed to be a certain way of being queer and trans. I needed to fit into a mold. So much of that came out of the fear of homophobia and transphobia. Especially as someone who got harassed and mistreated to the point of detransitioning.

When you're scared of being queer, you'll so desperately attach to anything that help you seem as the "good gay" the "good trans" but something I had to learn about the hard way, was it didn't matter how much I tired to be queer to their liking. They were never going to like it. I could fight and bully my fellow trans and queer people for eternity, but I was never going to fit into whatever mold they wanted.

It's so easy to fall into that thinking. It was especially easy to see so much hate online or other queer people telling you "no its actually not right to be this type of queer or this type of trans. It's problematic." There was so much hate surrounding me in both public and online.

But the thing was? one of the biggest things was being around other queer people. Especially queer elders. This isn't always an easy request, like I know the circumstances can be challenging to for people (I mean I'm an adult disabled queer person living at home, in the same area, with my family and there is absolutely no public transport 😭😭 I know for sure about that)

But hopefully, you'll be able to connect to other queer people eventually. Until then? just step outside of the online bubble. Learn about queer history (omg I'm BEGGING!) Take time to evaluate your beliefs. I just think it's so important.

I know that exclusionist can't be excused. The harm that they've done to the community has been detrimental. But I hope that this shines some light that people can change. That even when people fall down, that rabbit hole. There is a way to climb out. Trust me. It takes work. But I have hope that with these more open conversations about exclusionism and support of "problematic" identities. We can help find their way out. Even if it's just a few. I think that it's important we try? yknow?

[grungepoetica]

Treat Transfems Like the Normal People They Are Challenge (Near-Impossible, Any % Speedrun)

[mr-ribbit]

gonna rant again bc im seeing a lot of trans women on my dash having to carry the heavy lifting to argue for their basic respect and a lot of other queer people who want to ??? get mad about that apparently. for the record as usual: im tme, im not speaking for anyone besides myself and my perspectives, but I am trying to reach out to fellow tme people to level with y'all from inside the house.

i thought we all got past the 'calling people gendered terms when theyve asked you to stop' thing in like. 2012. i swear we were allllll on board with not calling women dude anymore, nerfing sir and ma'am, neutralizing collective terms for groups, and all of that was like, during the onceler era. that's how we got off-putting shit like folx into the mix - remember???? why are we here again.

to those who I've seen claiming that they REALLY genuinely don't want to offend anyone, and that theyre trying to understand the dude thing, and they don't want to be seen as transmisogynistic when they aren't: ok. let's talk about it. step one, stop sending that really loaded anon to a trans woman you don't know, and close that in-group hatepost with 100 replies from people name-dropping trans bloggers they don't like. try to open your mind and assume for the duration of this post that I am not cynically trying manipulate thousands of tumblr users into making Bro the next big swear word, but a fellow queer human being who thinks you're all being pretty intentionally obtuse about an upsetting trend in our community

to be clear: this post is about the issue of trans women being called bro, dude, man, etc., particularly in recent tumblr discourse about transmisogyny, and the backlash they face if they get upset about it. this is also maybe moreso about the shitty ass excuses I see tme people make for why they supposedly can't stop doing this.

so let's go through some of the things I've been seeing people say they don't understand, supposedly in earnest, about this issue

"I DIDNT USE DUDE AS A MASCULINE TERM. I CALL EVERYONE BRO. MAN IS A GENDER NEUTRAL TERM"

I'm not actually going to exhaust my list of reasons why dude/bro/man are not strictly neutral, but you should be pretty aware that all words have context. Dude might be seen as neutral in many contexts, sure, but 'woman who is frequently called a man by others' is a situation where the context adds extra meaning to your words, just like calling someone "sweetie" might be neutral in some cases, but if you've got the context of knowing that's your coworker who's half your age, it's a bit less neutral. If you're not capable of reading that context and being tasteful about when you say dude, then you need to at least be ready to respond gracefully when someone asks you to stop. This is the part I'd rather focus on.

"BUT I DIDNT MEAN IT THAT WAY. IM NOT TRANSPHOBIC"

I think you should consider broadening your perspective *beyond* your intention behind the word. people may already understand that you meant the word neutrally and therefore didn't have transmisogynistic intent, but that's not really the entire scope of what people are saying. if that's your only concern, you're just trying to clear your record, not actually listen to what they're saying.

there are lots of words people don't enjoy being called, and in most cases, when they say 'pls don't call me that', people respect that and move on. even if the word isn't a slur, if it hurts someone's feelings, we all as a society have agreed that it's pretty shitty to keep calling them that. if your friend asked you not to call them 'buddy' anymore because their dead grandparent called them that, or something equivalently personal, you'd probably respect that instead of telling them 'but I call everyone buddy!!' right? even if you didn't really understand why it bothered them so much?

there is a prominent tendency for trans women to be denied this privilege, and when they ask not to be called dude or bro, people don't seem to respect this request as much as they would in other situations. when I accidentally use a gendered word and someone tells me they don't like it, I try to respond with something like "my bad, I didn't mean it as misgendering but I can see you were still bothered by it, so I'll try not to keep saying it. sorry!" and most people are willing to accept that. when trans women ask people this favor, a lot of people get VERY defensive, and treat the request as inane or unfair, instead of just apologizing and moving on. this is why people are upset when this happens, and it's why people are calling your actions transmisogynistic

also like you might not be doing this, but a lot of people DO use dude and bro in an intentionally gendered way to make trans women uncomfortable. it's a power play bigots use to talk down to them or otherwise maliciously harass them. do you know what arguments they use to defend that behavior when called out on it? 'oh I call everyone that' 'dude is gender neutral calm down' 'dont overreact its just a word'. by acting like this, youre all just giving credence to those same arguments.

"WELL THEY SHOULDNT GET SO MAD AT ME WHEN I DIDNT MEAN ANY HARM"

they can get as mad as they want!! also, are you sure they're 'mad'? or are they just expressing their feelings about a negative topic to you, and it makes you feel bad, so you have to make them out to be unreasonably emotional? how do you think they should have phrased 'dont call me that' to better spare *your* feelings?

also like, in most cases, these women do not knowww you. if your main response to someone saying you disrespected them is to say "I didnt mean it that way, I meant it in a friendly neutral way", well that's NOT YOUR FRIEND! she has no idea what your opinions are or what you think of her!!! she has no reason to assume you only upset her in a friendly way and not a bad unfriendly way! but she did get upset, and she did the one thing she can do which is *tell you what upset her* and your response is to say "well actually you shouldn't be upset at all"??????

and another thing:

it's not just the issue of using the word 'dude', it's because you're coming off extremely dismissive of women who have asked you to stop doing something that harms them, and because your argument is basically that they just shouldn't be so bothered by it. or that they're stupid, irrational, or otherwise crazy for telling you that it bothered them at all, just because you Technically used a gender neutral word according to Your Rules. be honest, does that seem fair? If people were calling you something that bothered you enough to ask them to stop, and they responded like this, how would it make you feel?

focusing solely on your intent and what the words mean when you use them is the same thing as saying "just get over it". no woman should need to Prove to you that 'dude' is gendered for you to care about what she's saying. the fact that you're asking people to do that sucks and makes you look bad, which is why people are arguing with you and calling you a misogynist.

especially those of you who are only doing this with trans women who are actively arguing with. you're wielding misgendering as a cudgel and we can all see it, grow up please.

[snaxle]

poc will make a post about how racism negatively effects them and then white people will reblog the post like "as a white person, and i mean im WHITE WHITE, like im the color of a sheet of paper im so white i burn if im in the sun for 1 millisecond and i can trick people into thinking im a dead ghost im so horrifically white, im also autistic, trans, bisexual, fat, and failed math class in middle school. i know it's important to discuss racism, but also claiming that white people cant face any oppression whatsoever is sooooo hurtful to me and other white people with similar issues </3 im aware im privileged for being white, and trust me, like i said im the whitest person you know like. i dont even like spicy food im so white. but i think it's important to talk about the oppression of EVERYONE, not just people of color ❤ lets make a better world together. this post is sooo important and i respect op sooo much for making it 🙏, but i just think it is important to discuss all the oppression white people can also face and i know this post was specifically about racism but i just felt the need to add my two cents.. also DEAR MY FELLOW WHITE PEOPLE, lets all make sure we listen to poc voices together!!! #fuck racism #just a reminder that being white and having white privilege doesnt invalidate all the other struggles i face ☹ #as a white person who has constantly faced oppression i cant imagine how difficult other people who arent white have it omg"

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

Hey dad

I'm a transgender (ftm) boy with unsupportive bio parents and tomorrow's my birthday, but bc of where I live and the school system, I'll be dead named over the speakers of the entire school wishing me a 'happy birthday' even though they're celebrating the birth of a baby girl who I don't have any attachments to anymore and nobody seems to want to celebrate their baby boy

My dear birthday boy,

I don't know which time zone you live in but you sent this some hours ago, so I assume "tommorow" is "today" now, so - Happy birthday! Cheers to another trip around the sun, may it be an amazing one! May this year bring more joy than you could ever imagine.

We don't know each other personally, of course, but I can say honestly that I'm so glad you were born, so this day is definitely a reason for me to celebrate as well. Thankyou for being here with us today!

Birthdays can be hard when you're getting misgendered and I can only imagine how painful it must be over the speakers. As I'm a bit late in answering, I assume this already happened, so all that I can say now is just: I'm sorry that happened and I can imagine all the painful feelings it brought up. Hopefully you can leave it behind you quickly and find positive things to look forward. If you can't think of anything, then i'm sure some of my followers will want to wish you a happy birthday as well, so maybe looking through the comments on this post will be something positive and uplifting for you!

You deserve to be celebrated just the way you are. And if it's of any comfort, my life experience (and that of my fellow trans friends) tells me you will be. You got a year older - and as a general rule of thumb getting older also means getting closer to freedom. Time goes on, and it brings new people in your life, and some of them will be lovely and supportive and see the real you.

But that's just a little reminder of the future. You live in the present, and right now and here you are allowed to feel hurt. All feelings are valid, even on a birthday.

For now, my anonymous birthday boy, I'll make a bad dad joke and tell you "Happy birthday, my son-shine!". But seriously, congratulations on growing into the man you are. I'm proud of you and I stand with you.

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

[flagellant]

Why can't you people be normal about slurs for 2 seconds

Just because YOU reclaimed and identify with something doesn't mean everyone else does. No one cares about you IDing as a queer or dyke or fag or whatever, people just don't want strangers to randomly assign them words that have historically been used as slurs.

Like, do you understand that people have had this word used against them by bigots? Do you understand that maybe, it's tasteless to get upset at people for having trauma regarding a word? Are you able to comprehend that maybe insisting people be okay with being called a word that means odd, spoiled, ruined or weird is not a good look?

I'm autistic and have a severe learning disability. I'm totally fine when people use the word retard, I call myself a retard, I don't care. But I'm sure as fuck not going to walk up to a bunch of other autistic people I barely know and go "lmao what is up my fellow tards!!!"

I'm not trying to start shit, I'm legitimately trying to understand why you find it appropriate to make fun of people, often victims of abuse or hate crimes, for being triggered by a word.

"I'm legitimately trying to understand why you find it appropriate to make fun of people, often victims of abuse or hate crimes, for being triggered by a word."

Gay is a slur. Lesbian is a slur. Homosexual is a slur. Every single word we have ever had has always either had its roots in cruelty and oppression or has been used against us by our oppressors. There is no term that is pure and clean and innocent and has never hurt anyone's feelings.

Let's disregard fag for now. That one's still in the process of reclamation, I'll admit. Let's just talk about queer. Queer has been the academic term for non-cisgender and non-heterosexual history for half a century now. Queer theory has been around for thirty years. Queer was the word which we shouted as a radical inditement of our treatment by our oppressors: "We're here, we're queer, get over it" and "Not gay as in happy but queer as in fuck you" should both sound familiar to you.

And now it's 2012 or so and queer is known as the most inclusive term we have. It's less unwieldy than LGBTQIAAP+. It's not based in a necessity of defining yourself through your oppression like MOGAI. It's, important, a deeply private word. Not in the sense that it is used privately, but rather than it grants its user privacy. If you're queer, everyone instantly knows you're a part of the community, but you aren't being forced to out yourself or give more details about your personal life and identity than you want. It was always a word about identity.

TERFs hate this. TERFs hate this so much, because it's inclusive of people they hate, like asexual people, trans women, and other freaks of nature who society needs to put down like dogs. Queer means TERFs can't as easily define you as the Bad Other. Queer means TERFs will be recognized more easily as bigoted towards the larger queer communities. So, obviously, they do what anyone would, and decide to take advantage of the language of social justice warriors of the time and attack impressionable young kids from 13-16.

The average 13-16 year old doesn't exactly have much experience in real-life queer spaces. They don't get to go to rallies or protests, they don't stay at community centers, their lives are insular and based entirely online. Their understanding of social politics is inherently rooted in the importance of posting in the right language. Their activism is one which tweets correctly. So TERFs slid into their inboxes and went "Hey, just so you know, queer is actually a slur used to oppress people and it's problematic to use since some people have been called it".

And this works, because of course it does, and now I have people like you in my inbox bitching and whining about how queer is a slur and how you've been called queer once or twice in your life. To this I say: My apologies, but fucking suck it up and reclaim it. I don't care about traumatic events you have with queer. It has been reclaimed by the greater community and was done so long before you were born if you aren't literally 50, and more importantly, by giving queer validation as a slur, you actively give our oppressors that power over you. I'm not going to let my oppressors know that if they say an identifier for us meanly enough then we'll stop identifying as that word. I'm not giving the power to silence and repress who we are to people who would use it.

Anon, I respect you enough to say that people who consider my identity as a slur should get punched in the face, because alt-right fash cunts, pig cops, evangelical christians, TERFs, and hyperconservative political lobbyists all consider my identity as a slur. Why should I treat you any different to them? What about your specific treatment of queer as a slur ends up with a meaningfully different result? The neonazis on kiwifarms won't care why you're telling me to shut the fuck up about queer. They don't give a shit about why you're saying this. What they give a shit about is if it works and if calling people queer will get them to shut up and curl up in a little ball and admit defeat and hand them slurs on a silver platter. And I'm not about to live that sort of life, so either get with the program or fuck off.

[jellogram]

Okay I am ready. An actual longform review about I Saw the TV Glow, spoiler-free because I want people that haven't seen it to know what to expect.

I suggest reading this before you watch.

I think the shortest way to sum it up is that this is not a happy, uplifting, trans narrative, nor is it a Danish Girl-esque tragedy designed to tug at the heartstrings of cis people. This is a cautionary tale, designed for queer people (and particularly genderqueer people) about what can happen if you try to ignore who you are. Because most of Tumblr is queer, I am going to assume most of you guys will be entering with that perspective.

And it's worth noting that the director is nonbinary and has openly discussed this film as a trans narrative.

It's strange. It's uncomfortable. At times it feels like it's moving slow, but you need that time to sit in the emotions. This is not a fun movie to go see with your friends on a night out. This is more like doing powerful hallucinogens in a basement. Either nothing will happen and you won't click with it at all, or you will leave feeling like you just woke up from an incredibly vivid nightmare, wondering why no one around you seems as freaked out as you are.

This is why I recommend either waiting until you can watch it at home alone in the dark, or going to the theatre at a strange time of day when it won't be crowded. My theatre had lots of people laughing around me while I cried. When you are going through a really intense, painful, and emotional reaction to a film, and the people around you are laughing at the movie, it sucks.

So if you don't like the movie and don't get it at all, please be kind and do not laugh or say anything insulting in front of the other guests. If you go through the tags for this movie and many of the reviews, you can see how personally this film affects many people, and you are being very hurtful and dismissive by laughing in front of them while they're upset. This was not only my experience, but one I've seen echoed among many other viewers. So keep it to yourself until you are out of the theatre, please.

Yes, some lines are a little weird. There's things that feel a bit silly and cartoonish, and you just need to ride with it. The absurdity is not an accident on the part of the filmmakers and I think my fellow theatre-goers thought it was.

And as for the technical and artistic aspects, I only have good things to say. Phoebe Bridgers' cameo easily could have been cheesy but it was that song that first made me cry. Pay attention to the use of color. Pay attention to the music. The actors are excellent and it's very cool how many queer people were involved in the project. This is what happens when queer people get to tell our own stories.

tl;dr You will either walk out of that theatre confused and annoyed, or feeling like you just got home from a war. If you are in the first category, please be respectful to those in the second. This is not an easy watch but it's an incredible and highly unique film and it makes me excited about the future of horror and queer filmmaking.

[decolonize-the-everything]

Why do terfs find the transandrophobia community such an easy target for recruitment?

....you don't think lesbians are especially prone to being targeted despite so many of them being (political) lesbians?

But yeah okay I'll humor your disingenuous question.

They are drawn to transmascs for the same reason they think trans women are oppressive.

TERFs fundamentally have no respect for them or their gender identity. They pretend to be respectful, but disregard it completely. Why? They want to unify with transmascs over something they call "sex based oppression."

It's their latest psyop to try erasing trans people. Their goal is to exploit uneducated transmascs into thinking they experience oppression because of their sex and not their gender identity.

If you can get transmascs to parrot that point, then eventually the logic will reach transfemmes who will undoubtedly be discoursing with them about it. Suddenly the trans community is debating whether our oppression is even due to gender.... And well if that's the case does it Matter if we identify as trans? Should laws even recognize gender over sex at that point?

For obvious reasons TERFs can't "bond" with trans women over "sex based oppression" and manipulate them with the same methods. They also don't want to since they see trans women as men; as The Enemy.

See, idk if you know this but TERFs don't believe transmen are men. They think they're mentally ill women who need to be saved as fellow women. To a TERF this is the same as just having Awful self esteem. Which is so relatable because you know who tanks the self esteem of women?

Men. Only men could make women hate themselves so much that they don't want to identify as their own sex anymore. To a TERF every trans man is a tragedy that gets more pity from them from anything. They think they're helping. They feel sorry for transmen and see them as something that needs to be saved.

So no.

It's not that the transandrophobia community are easier targets than anyone else is.

They aren't targeting transmen because they Like transmen. They don't target them cuz it's Easier to make men hate transwomen.

They target transmen who wanna talk about their experiences because (as people who don't think transmen are real) they want to poison the well that they think is making so many "women" sick in the head in the first place and if it helps hurt "men" in the process then that's better for them.

But like I said at the beginning of the post, this isn't a special exception. It's been a well-known fact that TERFs we're behind early 2000's exclusionary discourse, behind bi/pan discourse, and now seems to be the Cause of transandrophobia discourse.

This isn't new for them or the queer community.

What IS new is that TERFs seem to have successfully convinced yall that some trans people IN the trans community shouldn't be given the permission to create language to talk about their experiences.

At the very least they've already done That much damage.

Their little psyop is literally working and you are in my asks asking why trans men begging to be heard out are easier targets for TERFs?

[lunas-a-little-looney]

This isn't a discourse post. I am not going to argue with anybody in the notes. If you disagree that's fine but keep it to yourself. I just need to vent.

It's so depressing to see the state of the transfem community on tumblr right now, and what passes for feminism. All of tumblr suffers from the problem of equating "man" with "bad" but it's particularly painful to see that coming from my fellow trans women. Like we're the primary targets of terfs right? (not the only targets though, trans men catch plenty of hate from terfs too) We're supposed to know better.

Some of the ideas I've seen passed around transfem spaces would be celebrated by terfs if you just swap out the term "TME" for men, or trans women. We're supposed to know that gender is complicated, that it's not a binary, and that one's identity doesn't necessarily line up with the societal idea of who they are. We're supposed to know that it's not ok to talk over other groups and assume they have it better than us just because we see them as man(bad).

Transmisogyny is so real and so important and we are silenced constantly when we talk about it. I understand the anger, and the hurt. I get why it feels important to have a term to describe all the people that try to shout us down because they don't want to admit that we're oppressed but in practice it's just become another word used to silence someone else.

We've lost our way. In our fight to have our oppression recognized we've forgotten that other groups have their own unique experiences that need to be heard too. It just hurts to see all this hate being thrown at random trans guys and intersex people who just want to talk about their own lives and struggles.

[jewish-vents]

I'm so tired.

I'm so tired of watching the world around me burn and crash and head straight back to the Nazi Germany regime.

I'm so tired of hearing people accuse Jews as Nazis and resembling us to Hitler.

I'm so tired of going on the news and hearing the disgusting atrocities that happen to my fellow Jews simply because they are Jews.

I'm so tired and hurt and I can't help but wonder if people learned nothing about what the Nazis did and what they achieved.

I'm so tired of seeing people call us Nazis and turn around and shout 'Queers for Palestine' Did you learn nothing? Did you learn about the trans and queers who were sent to camps because they were who they were and loved who they loved?

Did no one on this G-d forsaken earth learn anything? Did no one think to turn around and think that maybe, just maybe, this isn't about advocating for Palestine? Did no one stop and think and realize that it's simply becoming an excuse to attack Jews and ravage synagogues?

Please I beg for the world to wake up and realize we, the Jews, are at risk. I'm so scared for the day I wake up and am being rounded up to be sent to camps.

Assaulting and burning our synagogues and books and boycotting our stores and business is EXACTLY what the Nazis did before they started rounding us up and send us off to death camps. Before sending 6 million of us to our death.

I know this may sound irrational to some, but I truly believe this is something that could very well happen if the world does not put a stop to the antisemitism that is happening today.

Make antisemitism bad again.

Love,

An extremely tired Jew.

.

[cat-in-a-mech-suit]

Transmasculinity Throughout Time: Dr James Barry

Part 2! Here we go. James Barry was the first European doctor to successfully perform a C section where both the mother and child survived, which is cool to me because I was born via C section. He was born in 1789, but lied that he was younger on documents in order to pass - people described him as young looking and soft featured with a boyish voice, but never questioned in his gender. Despite adamantly stating he was a man for his whole adult life and only being revealed as transgender after death, he is still referred to as a “a woman ahead of her time” in the Guardian in 2016 and argued to have only presented as a man to enter the male-dominated medical field. In his wikipedia page, he is only referred to by his last name, not he/him pronouns. This is another example of the transmasculine erasure done by cis feminist historians that I mentioned in my last post in this series. Instead of doing this, cis feminists, here is what you can do: accept and include transmasculine experiences as a part of feminist narratives, not in contradiction to them, and if you can’t do that, at least actually do some research on the women who were practicing medicine at the time, and acknowledge their accomplishments instead of stealing and erasing transmasculine history! To all students of history, and especially anyone who cares about queer/trans history: stop erasing trans men (and all trans and nonbinary people) and explaining us away. Come face to face with our existence. Can you do that?

Alright.

Barry was a British imperial surgeon. When he was 19, he expressed longing to be a soldier, and he later joined the British army. Eeh, I know. His official title quickly ascended to Colonel Medical Inspector. If it wasn’t for his privilege, his gender transgression would likely have not been so easily forgiven and explained away through infantilization and feminist narratives during and after his life. However, he still faced great challenges.

In his profession, he was unlike others because he spent time around and advocated for the most marginalized in society - prisoners, mentally ill, lepers, poor people, and enslaved people. He did this even though it made him vulnerable and eccentric to those around him. His bluntness and need to make change made him extremely challenged and unpopular among his fellow officers, and he survived on his professionalism and bravado alone, enduring an accusation of “conduct unbecoming of the character of an Officer and a Gentleman” for a clash with another surgeon, of which he was acquitted thereafter. He also got into a pistol duel and won against Captain Josias Cloete of the 21st Light Dragoons. Generally, he was described as both rude and unafraid to speak his mind, as well as sometimes overly polite, with a good bedside manner. People were confused by him because he didn’t fit into society, and they constantly speculated on his life and tried to diminish him and the advocacy that he did.

He was first appointed to his position and was able to keep it despite challenges to his authority because of his “close friendship” with the Governor, Lord Charles Somerset (we all know what close friendship means when historians say it). In 1824, he was slandered, put on trial, and investigated when someone said that they “detected Lord Charles buggering Dr Barry.” James Barry is an important historical example of transhomophobia. Unlike what TEHMs and their ilk believe, queer trans men in fact have been experiencing homophobia all this time. James Barry experienced the same homophobia as a cis gay man would at the time, with the additional pressure of being a trans man who had to pass as a cis man to live as himself: transhomophobia. As a queer trans man, thinking about what he must have gone through makes my stomach hurt.

In 1857, he was appointed to be the Inspector of Hospitals in Canada, and he made significant improvements to sanitation and care for prisoners and lepers during his short time in that position. He was forcibly resigned against his will after only two years, because of his supposed poor health.

Before he died of dysentery in 1865, he asked for his person to not be examined at all. His wishes were disobeyed. He was outed as trans and subsequently, his life was either erased or stolen from him and written as that of a woman. To avoid a scandal, all army records of him were locked for 100 years, until in 1958, a biography of him was written by a cis woman historian, who wrote about him as a woman pretending to be a man and erased his transness. Barry’s own doctor said after his death that “it was none of my business whether Dr. Barry was a male or a female” and suggested that he might have been intersex.

Interestingly, he was also known for an incident in which he scolded Florence Nightingale for poor sanitary practices, which she complained about after he died, saying he was “the most hardened creature I had ever met.”

[matan4il]

Hey! Anon from the last time here! By "Pro-Palestine Westeners" I was partially referring to all these students from Columbia and MIT who were illegally occupying the school grounds and harassing/hurting the actual Israeli/Jewish/Middle Eastern/the other generally decent students.

I know there's Pro-Palestine people who are actually decent, but all these college students are risking suspension/expulsion/jailtime because they'd rather chant pro-Ha*as slogans rather and listening to news from biased fonts rather than educating themselves on what's really happening. Some people would rather stay in their ivory towers, rather than going outside and touching grass.

I also know there's LGBT+ people in Palestine and other parts of MENA, and all I wish for them is that they live long enough to find a place where to live freely and out of the closet, without suffering persecution from their government.

Hope this clarified at least a little bit my other ask, and sorry it sounded so ambiguous. Finally, let's hope that Eden Golan gets at least in the top 5 at Eurovision 2024, just to spite anyone who booed her.

Hi Nonnie!

Thank you for sending this ask to clarify the previous one, it's what I thought you meant, and I'm glad to hear I wasn't too off.

TBH, as a gay woman myself, with gay Palestinian friends who are a part of my queer community, and whose struggles I know well, that's the first group I thought about as well. Then I thought about the fact that under Hamas law, husbands can rape their wives with impunity. I thought about the way the Christian population (the biggest non-Muslim minority under Palestinian rule) has demographically plummeted in the areas that Israel passed on to Palestinian control as a part of the Oslo accords. I thought about black people, whose ancestors were kidnapped because of the Trans-Saharan (i.e Arab) trade slave, and are still treated as lesser humans because of that (based on their skin color, they are still referred to in Arabic to this day as "Abeed," meaning slaves).

I think this last group, which most people don't even realize exists, deserves a bit more info shared about it:

Pretty sure black activists in the states, who don't know the history (and present) of the Arab slave trade, or the persisting anti-black racism that exists in Palestinian society, have no clue they're being exploited against the same Jewish community, which stood with Martin Luther King Jr. and the civil rights movement, even having some of its members paying with their very lives for this. I hope they wake up and realized they're being used for antisemitic purposes by the same people who enslaved and are still discriminating against some of their people.

But it's funny how the world's activists and human rights defenders seem to ignore the plight of these marginalized Palestinians, isn't it? Almost like, because they're NOT being oppressed by Jews, rather by fellow Palestinians, and can't be used to justify antisemitic rhetoric and action, then they don't count. So much for minority solidarity and intersectionality, right? It doesn't extend to Jews, and it doesn't extend to Palestinians who can't be weaponized against Jews.

Regarding the last bit of your ask, bless you for being hit with Apollo's dodge ball and predicting Eden making it into the top 5, despite every effort made by the jury members of so many countries, the awful people in the audience, and members of fellow delegations. It was magnificent!

Sending you hugs! xoxox

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[mid0khan]

I know it's not what I usually post here, I mostly use Tumblr as a comfy space for friends and fandoms, but there's something that has been itching at my brain for a time and I think it's worth a post, so let's talk about something more serious and less funny than gay ships for once.

Let's talk about transandrophobia. (throwing some TW for transphobia and misandry too while i'm at it)

I am a trans man, and I'm quite often exposed to the "all men should die" and "you're a gender traitor" discourse, which is awful for obvious reasons (the genocidal ideation, the sexism, the hatred, you get the point).

I don't know if the people who believe in those ideas realize they are sexists, or that wishing to kill half the human population is Marvel Bad Guy level of bad? But they seem convinced they are knights in shinning armor for the feminist cause. Which I disagree with (feminism was created to achieve equality, not to reverse the sexist hiearchy). It sucks, but I manage to deal with it most of the time, since it's "only" transandrophobia (they hate me for being a man, not for being trans, and they don't question my identity).

I have been exposed to another... flavor of those ideas. And they are both terrible, I'm not trying to say one is worse than the others. But I struggle a lot more with this other version.

I have a flatmate who wholeheartedly believe in the "all men should die" thing, and they aren't affraid to say it. But when they say this kind of things when I can hear them, they hastily add "except trans men, because obviously they don't count". Which I can't help but understand as "you don't count as a man -> you aren't really a man".

Which sucks twice, because it's misandry with bonus transphobia. Coming from a friend (who will soon be a former friend though if they don't do some self-reflexion) and a fellow trans person (they are enby) it hurts a lot. I often wonder if, since I started my medical transition, maybe one day I'll be too "man" for them and they'll start being openly against my mere existence.

Not only that, but this discourse shows some crazy hypocrisy imo; they seem to think that, by saying "all men deserve to die but trans men get a pass", they get to be violent but since they say they accept that a minority exist they are obviously good, unlike those who want to kill everyone.

And sadly my flatmate isn't the only one saying this kind of things; I am lucky enough to live in a fairly LGBTQIA+ friendly area (which doesn't mean there isn't any queerphobia, but it's a lot less common than where I grew up), and some people seem to think that, as long as they don't direcly attack LGBTQIA+ people, they can be hateful without it being bad.

All of that to say, it's not possible to be a misandrist and be an ally to transmascs. Personally, I'd rather people be honest when they are being hateful and discriminatory, rather than try to do moral gymnastics to be hateful without attacking minorities so they get to think of themselves as allies.

[autismvampyre]

i feel so fucking bad for my fellow young queers nowadays. so many are being radicalized by the right because we are so disconnected from our past and history and it fucking sucks man

i remember being 14 and just being so lost and uncomfortable in my own skin and getting wrapped up in fucking exclusionary discourse on fucking instagram of all places. i remember not liking myself and being vulnerable and feeling left out, and all these other online queers took me in and said "its fine, you're normal, but we have to fight the not-normal queers to be accepted" and i believed them because who else would i trust?

the idea that there's a wrong kind of gay or trans or queer is so antithetical to what this community is supposed to be about. we're strange, we're outcast. it's so sad to see infighting knowing that its just successful propaganda meant to divide us.

truth is, bigots don't care if you're the "right kind of queer" or not. they still hate you for existing and pandering does nothing but hurt the only community that actually cares. we have to leave behind the mindset that we can only be accepted if we change, because the people who only accept us when we're the "good kind of queer" never fucking respected us in the first place

we're here, we're queer, and we don't have to be "the right kind" to be allowed to exist

[mewos-laptop]

Hey y'all, I learned abt Biden dropping out of the election around an hour ago and fucking broke down completely, so I want to let my fellow trans people know that I fucking love you.

You matter. Your life matters. The world is a better place with you in it, and we can't fucking give up. I won't fucking give up. I need you to stay alive. I need you to fucking vote so that way we don't die.

I'm just a kid. I can't vote yet, not for a few years. I live in a red state for trans people. If Trump gets into office I don't know what I, nor my friends, will do.

I feel like nothing can change the outcome of the elections right now, so I'm fucking begging you, vote for Kamala. I know she's a fascist, I know she's not any fucking better than Biden, but I'm fucking begging. Trump will kill all of us if he gets into office. My heart fucking aches and hurts and bleeds every single day for the people suffering in Gaza, but Trump wants to fucking nuke them. If you don't vote for Kamala we're all going to suffer, and Gaza will suffer even worse.

I am fucking begging. I am fucking pleading. I don't want to watch my queer friends die. I don't want to die. I don't want to fucking live my life as a cis girl for the rest of my fucking life.

I cannot watch the last of my rights slip away. Please, please, please vote blue. I know. It fucking sucks. I don't want to have to have a fascist in office, but Trump is worse than anyone else. I cannot live with Trump in office.

I am begging you.

[that-gender-blog]

sometimes i am not as careful as i should be, considering that i am not even 2 years into a gender transition and am fairly androgynous and openly gay

today i was walking my friend home late at night so i knew she got home safe, and she happens to live next to a frat house. there was a party going on as i dropped her off, and the guys started yelling at the two of us. we both yelled back because we are assertive and happy to confront idiots, but we both couldve gotten hurt or attacked or something, and that’s a little scary.

it’s always wild to me seeing how i am perceived by people around me while being openly trans and gay because i really never know what someone is going to say or do. i live in an area with people who are generally supportive and very kind, but being in college means you end up surrounded by people who can have very differing views on anything and everything.

im not sure i really had a point to this story/rant other than telling my fellow trans people to still be safe. keep yourselves and your friends safe, and please be smart about who you choose to confront. i was okay tonight, but i very easily couldve not been