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asahipleaseloveme · 3 years

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A Light in the Dark

Soulmate AU

Asahi x reader

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: None

Author's Note: this is my piece for @gg9183 soulmate au collab! Congrats on your milestone and thank you so much for letting me join 🥲. In this AU, people see the face of their soulmate in their dreams. Some people see a face sooner than others. As always, feedback is appreciated!

"I don't know, Asahi. I think this whole soulmate thing is just a bunch of bs," you stated matter of factly. "Everyone claims that they see the face of their soulmate in their dreams. And it’s the only face they see until they find them. Pff, yeah...okay. I'm sure some people do. But there's no way everyone can see it, right?" You questioned more to yourself than to your companion who joined you for coffee.

"Maybe you're just a late bloomer? Or it could be that you're a little impatient. But it’s most likely because you’re a goober,” Asahi playfully ragged on you. “I'm sure you'll see a face in no time," he reassuringly stated.

"That's easy for you to say. I bet you've already seen your S.M.'s face. And they are probably beautiful and perfect. I wouldn't expect anything less for you, ya big softy," you teased as you poked him in the side, causing him to jolt away from the sudden contact.

"Hmph, even if I told you I haven't seen a face yet, you wouldn't believe me. But, you're still dreaming about nothing? Just total blackness?"

You stared at your drink for a few seconds to think of how you wanted to answer his question. It's true; for the past six or seven months you've been dreaming in total darkness. It's like you're in there, but there's just nothing. Almost like a void. For a while you were really concerned that it meant you didn't have a soulmate. No one you've talked to had experienced what you were currently going through. Everyone has been dreaming about a face. Some of them have been united with the person in their dreams, while others were still waiting to find theirs.

"Actually," you cleared your throat, "last night was a little different. A light started to shine through the darkness. I woke up before it could get too bright. But I don't know what it means, you know."

You looked up at Asahi sheepishly. You felt a little silly talking about this with him. You know he's been dreaming about his soulmate, but he's just too polite to tell you.

"A light, huh. Maybe that means your soulmate is a lightbulb or something. Ohh, or the sun!" Asahi chuckled.

"Shut up, Asahi," you chuckled along with him.

Your laughs subsided, and your eyes focused on his face.

"Hey, we will still be friends after we both find our soulmates, right," you broke the silence. You panicked as you didn’t want to come off as needy or jealous. "It's just that, I've had some friends who broke off their friendships with others once they found their S.M.'s. I was hoping we wouldn't have to. You're, like, my best friend," your face was getting hot and you could tell it was glowing red.

"______, you're my best friend, too. I'd like to keep it that way," Asahi smiled so softly at you. Even though he was usually the anxious friend of your group, his words felt so relieving and calm. You let out a sigh and smiled back.

"Oh, shoot. I gotta run or I'll be late for work!" Asahi said in a panic. "Uh, I'll text you later. See ya, goober!"

“Bye, goof. Have a good day at work!”

You spent the rest of the day at the library scouring through any book or online article you could find regarding dreams. Specifically soulmate dreams. You couldn’t be the only person who was experiencing the weird phenomenon of dreaming of nothing. The more you searched, the more disheartening it became. There were plenty of stories out there. Articles about people dreaming about a face for a few months before finding them. Articles about people dreaming about a face for decades and not finding them. Accounts of people marrying someone who they didn’t dream about and still finding happiness. Even reports about people who got married to someone other than their soulmate and divorcing their “non-soulmate” once they found them. There were even studies that gave the percentage of the likelihood of ending up with a soulmate. None of these findings were able to quell the uneasiness in your mind.

You threw your hands up in the air with a disgruntled sigh. “This is hopeless. I’m hopeless.”

You began packing up your things when Ashai texted you.

~You shouldn’t worry about this whole dream thing. I’m sure it’ll come to you soon 😊 ~

-I doubt it 😠-

~Lol you’re just grumpy. Go eat some food.~

- >:P -

~Are we still on for the park tomorrow grumpy pants?~

-Duh, goob. The park is the best part of my week. I wouldn’t miss it.-

~Me neither. I was just making sure.~

You grabbed a quick bite to eat at the convenience store around the corner from your apartment building. You made your way up the three flights of stairs to get to your little flat. “Home” was starting to feel a little lonely. Maybe that’s why you tended to spend most of your days somewhere else. You chucked your keys on the counter and tossed your shoes off by the door. As you were heating up your microwaveable meal, you received another text from Asahi.

~______, I know it’s easy to say, but keep your head up. I have faith you’ll see your soulmate 🙂. ~

You smiled at his kind words. He’s always been such a good and supportive friend. He’s always so patient with you. Hell, he’s even started to tease you back when you initiate it. You weren’t lying when you told him that he was your best friend. You didn’t want to imagine him not being in your life. Maybe that’s why you were so worried about the whole soulmate thing. Once he found his soulmate, he would probably start to treat you differently. Would you do the same when you (if you) found yours? What if-

Your thoughts were disrupted by the microwave going off. You quickly ate your dinner and then got ready for bed. You stared at Asahi’s text before deciding to just leave it alone. Sleep soon hit you. Again, you started out in the darkness like you have for the longest time. A light starts to appear and the intensity is getting stronger and stronger. It’s almost too bright for you to even look at. Suddenly, a fuzzy shadow of a head blocks the view of the light. The face begins to come into focus when you wake up with a shooting pain in the back of your head.

“Are you...kidding me? A blurred out face? Typical,” you rubbed your eyes and stretched. “Can’t wait to tell Asahi about this one.”

Asahi was waiting for you by the entrance of the park with a coffee for you in one hand and a coffee for him in the other. You called out to him and ran over to meet him.

“What’s this, Asahi? Need that extra dose of caffeine to walk with me today,” you smirked.

“Oh, I-I just felt bad about poking fun at you yesterday. I just wanted to make it up to you, so you know that I was just kidding.”

You giggled, “Asahi, we poke fun at each other all of the time. I think we know each other well enough that we understand it’s just in good fun. But I will gladly accept your peace offering this time.”

Both of you turned into the park and you began your weekly stroll. Ever since the two of you met years ago, you had a weekly walk through the park to discuss anything that was on your mind.

“So, uh, I saw a face in my dream last night,” you stated ever so shyly. “But, I didn’t actually see the face. It was blurred out. I don’t even know what that means!” You expressed the words with such anger, you stopped in your tracks. “Ugh, I’m sorry. I know you must be tired of me talking about this all of the time. I’m getting kind of tired of it, too. But this whole thing has me scared. What if my soulmate is someone who I won’t even like? What if they hate cats? What if they won’t even remember my favorite coffee order? What if they are mean to other people? I just don’t think I can handle that. I-”

“______, it’s alright. I know it can be scary, but you just have to believe that your soulmate is someone you’ll like. Even if you don’t like them, there’s nothing that states you actually have to marry them, ya know? I think that-” Asahi was cut off with the warnings of distant Heads up shouts, but by the time they were heard, a soccer ball crashed right into the back of your head.

You found yourself on the ground, coffee spilled all over your pants, and a massive pain shooting through the back of your head. You can faintly hear Asahi calling out for you, asking if you are okay. You look up at him, but the sun shine was so intense that you had to squint. The shadowy figure, the same figure from your dream, blocked out the sun and your eyes started to focus on the face. The figure blocked out more of the light, the face becoming more in focus.

“Asahi?” you sat, puzzled.

“______, oh my gosh! You don’t remember me. Did the ball hit you that hard? Oh no, we need to get you to a hospital now!” He panicked as he grabbed you around the waist and lifted you up to your feet.

“No, no, no. I remember you, ya goof. It’s just that...you...your face was...is...you’re my soulmate,” you stared at him with doe-like eyes.

He smiled down at you and wrapped you in a warm embrace.

“I’ve known for a while that you were mine,” he stated with happiness erupting from him.

“How long have you known?”

“Do you remember the day you spilled coffee all over my pants? Yeah, I started dreaming about you that same night.”

“Asahi, that was the first day we met...that was over two years ago! Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I guess I didn’t want you to feel pressured to like me. You could have been dreaming about someone else and I didn’t want to get in between that. And part of me wanted you to like me because I’m...me. Not because you felt obligated to. ”

You smiled at him, “You’re, like, the biggest goof I know. How long would you have waited for me to, you know, finally catch up?”

“For you,______, I would’ve waited forever. Because there is honestly no other goober out there for me.”

You laughed as you gave him a hard nudge to the ribs. All of the fear and anxiety you had melted away the longer you were wrapped in his embrace. Your head started to go fuzzy and you weren’t sure if what because you were so relieved or because you just got donked in the head with a ball. Either way, you knew that you and Asahi were going to make each other happy.

“Thanks for waiting for me, Asahi. And thank you for liking me as I am. I know I can be a little overbearing and grumpy at times. I’m glad that you’re my goof. Oh, my head,” you sighed before letting out a groan.

Asahi looked down at you and smiled. “Let’s get you to a doctor, goober. You got hit pretty hard.” He kissed you on your forehead gently before scooping you up in his arms. This wasn’t how he had imagined this reveal going down, but he couldn’t help to be happy that he was your soulmate and you were his. He couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life making you happy. And you felt the same way.

#asahi x reader #azumane asahi x reader #asahi #azumane asahi #haikyuu!#haikyuu! soulmate au #gracie's soulmate collab #ahh i hope this is okay #i always get really nervous when i post my stories #🥲🥺#i kind of based this off of the song head over feet by alanis morissette lol

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gallus-rising · 3 years

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here’s your annual reminder that this is my silly little blog and i post abt my silly little topics

Riverside magic systems time B)

there could be considered 3 or 6 types of magic, depending how you look at it. most ppl say 6 bc most ppl aren’t nerdy scholars splitting hairs over all their loser books

there’s: Wet/Dry, Cold/Hot, and Blood/Static. Wet, Cold, and Blood are native to This Side. Dry, Hot, and Static are native to Across (tho no one’s seen a proper Staticmancer in decades)

Wet & Dry are considered the most practical magics. Wet Mages mostly live near or sometimes on the River. they can go p far out/deep w/o getting swallowed up, so p much every decently successful fisherman/silt picker/diver is either a Wet Mage themselves, working w one, or has latent powers. Dry Mages are laaaaaaaam. what, you use your powers to clean up? pff, why do that when you could be partying, man. Dry Mages can also get p far out into the Outskirts, but why would you ever wanna do that? come back inside, we already have everything you need.

Wet & Dry Mages are also the only ones who can cross the River. the catch is they can only do it from the opposite side. you need a Wet Mage to find the real water (it’s just a mirage, don’t look at it), and you need a Dry Mage to stop the fog from sinking in (don’t listen to it, they’re not really there)

Cold & Hot are the fun magics. they’re also the most combat oriented. job opportunities for Cold Casters are limited. either you work for someone who needs a bit of muscle, freelance in the food packing/transport industry(s), or have a normal job but spend your whole life kinda chilly. Heat Casters are mostly the same. they make for good bouncers, so every club has at least a few. Heat Casters can also make a living in entertainment. it’s kinda lame having a job, but it’s better than being the sweaty guy at the party ig.

did i mention Cold & Heat Casters can’t regulate their own body temperature? bc they can’t. all the excess Cold/Heat needs to be vented out via regular power use, so you might as well get paid for it.

Bloodmancers & Staticmancers are the least well know, and for good reason. they both keep their secrets close to their chests.

Bloodmancers do stuff w blood. it doesn’t need to be their blood; and in fact, a lot of them walking around don’t even have their own blood anymore! that isn’t by choice tho. Bloodmancer blood is waaay more potent than the normal stuff, so some v unscrupulous ppl hunt them down, drain them, and ship the blood off to Across in exchange for those big big bucks. Bloodmancers are sturdy tho. if you see a decently cognizant Bloodless walking the streets, it’s probably a recently drained Bloodmancer. don’t worry, they’ll be right as rain in just a few days! just w/o any of their blood or most of their memories. if a Bloodmancer wants to flaunt around their powers, they can make a decent living as a partykiller or sanitation worker. just don’t expect to have a social life any more, pal.

proper Staticmancers definitely don’t exist anymore, but when they did they ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛̵̨̧̩̦̘̞̝͖̬̬̦̃͆͋⬛̷͓͇̤̺͍͍̦͎̪̻̦̣̀͛̎͊̊̾̾̑͊̑̚͝ͅ⬛̸̺͑⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛̷̭̠̜͔̘̥͙̝͚͎̦̎̌̇͋̅͂̑̾̀̈́͐̾̚⬛̸̡̦̜͚̺̙̪̻͚̳̼͔͎̂̈͜͝⬛̷̧̩̺̩̮͚̗̻̟̳̺̰͙̟̪̓̇̎̇̍͗̏̆̾⬛̶̢̣̟̞͇̪͖̹̣͎̼̑̔̈́́̄̃̑̓̀̓͌̔̓̚͠⬛̴̫̳̙́̿̈́̿͗͒̚̕⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛̶̨͍͕̘͖̝̗̬̤̮̩̤̻̀̓̏⬛̸͙̟̯̝̼̰͒̉́͘ͅ⬛⬛⬛⬛̴̼͍͒̏⬛̴̨̦͇̫̳́̊́⬛̶͓͑͝⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛̸̢̾ͥ̀̃ͭ͊̋̔͞҉̬͕̘͓̱͚̩͖͎̭̟͍͓⬛̛̺͎̪̭̤͇̣̟̣ͣ̾̂̈́͆̊̏̔͌ͫͤ͋̔̔̋́́͜⬛̉̂ͣ̉ͧ̓̌̇̌̿͛ͯ̏̾̔̓͏͉͎͉̣̭͚̤̥̰̯̘̭͕͇͝ͅ⬛̢̛̘͚̜̼ͮ̉̔ͣ͗̈́̊̚̕͡⬛͓̳̞̞̹̞͚̩̭̯͇̆ͤ̉͂͒́͞⬛̸͈͙̹̯̝̺͕͕̗͕̦͈̯͉̝̺͍̻̮̋ͧ̌ͧͤ̔̾̇ͨ̿̔̀̇̋̀͘͢͡⬛⬛⬛̢̛̘͚̜̼ͮ̉̔ͣ͗̈́̊̚̕͡⬛͓̳̞̞̹̞͚̩̭̯͇̆ͤ̉͂͒́͞⬛̢̛̘͚̜̼ͮ̉̔ͣ͗̈́̊̚̕͡⬛͓̳̞̞̹̞͚̩̭̯͇̆ͤ̉͂͒́͞⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛̴̼͍͒̏⬛̴̨̦͇̫̳́̊́⬛̶͓͑͝⬛̸̧̳͇̼͌̑͆́͜͠⬛̸̭̘̼̺͋͗̃͝͝⬛̵̤̔͐͜⬛̵͈̻̑̃̏⬛̴̗̓̀̈́͝⬛̵͙̪͕͉̪̔⬛̷̲͋̒⬛̸̱̭͉̤̱̒⬛̷͕̲̝̈́͌̆͗͛͑̀̄͂̔⬛̸̦̺̈́̑͋̈́⬛̴̛͕͕̏͂͌̇́̿̍̋̌̓͝⬛̸̻͙̫̿⬛̵̨̧̩̦̘̞̝͖̬̬̦̃͆͋⬛̷͓͇̤̺͍͍̦͎̪̻̦̣̀͛̎͊̊̾̾̑͊̑̚͝ͅ⬛̸̺͑⬛̵͔͍͆̏̈́̃̑̏́͋̂⬛̸̨̛͉̠̞̰̩̦̝̽̍̇̑̿͌̔͗͛̑̑̃͘͠⬛̴̰̳̥̮͌̊̎̈̏̎̄́͆́̕͘͘⬛̷͎̒̏̄̑̀͆̀͂͝⬛̴̧̡̢̛̤̫͚̜̝͓̞̭̱̱͗͜͝⬛̶̨̛̣͉̗̱̠̩͕̝͗͗͗̉́̏̇̎̒̇͊͐́̄⬛̷̭̠̜͔̘̥͙̝͚͎̦̎̌̇͋̅͂̑̾̀̈́͐̾̚⬛̸̡̦̜͚̺̙̪̻͚̳̼͔͎̂̈͜͝⬛̷̧̩̺̩̮͚̗̻̟̳̺̰͙̟̪̓̇̎̇̍͗̏̆̾⬛̶̢̣̟̞͇̪͖̹̣͎̼̑̔̈́́̄̃̑̓̀̓͌̔̓̚͠⬛̴̫̳̙́̿̈́̿͗͒̚̕⬛̶̛͕̹͔͉̜͖̯͓⬛̴̤̞̰̼̮̼͉̤͖̼̳̟̐̓̀́͌̓͌̈́̅͠͠⬛̴͙̣̜̯͕̮̻̺͔̤͓̾̄̓͂̍͑̔͘͠͝⬛̷̡̘̼̺͉̭̹̠̔̔̒̔͗̃̑̇̅͜⬛̷̢̧̛̯̼̱̪͚̳̪̥̜͛̍̿͐̊̉̐̊̏͂̈͘͜͝⬛̴̡̛͈̟̣̹̰̖̯̑̎̾̽͗̓͜⬛̵̛̣̱͔͉͍̖͚̟͖̗͙̮̮̀͒̽̈͆̂̅̒̍́̚͜⬛̸͚͂͒⬛̷̛̜̜̥̝͚̹̰̙̞̜̆̅̄̊̇̐̕̚͝⬛̶͓̟̭̝̹̰͉̩̪͍̙͗⬛̶̨͍͕̘͖̝̗̬̤̮̩̤̻̀̓̏⬛̸͙̟̯̝̼̰͒̉́͘ͅ⬛̸̡̮͎̺͖̠͈͇̝̠̽͆̍̑̏̂̄͊̆̒̒̽͠⬛̵̡̛̛͎͕̟̫̪̘̥̠͍͚̝̇̍̈́̏̃͋̍̓͊́͜⬛̴̢̡̟̗͇̞͖͖̩͚͖̟̦̉̂̎̑̓̚͜͝͠ ⬛̣̥̺͇̥͚͚̠̙͎̖̺̙̖͈̦ͯͣ̆͐̕͝⬛̸̢̾ͥ̀̃ͭ͊̋̔͞҉̬͕̘͓̱͚̩͖͎̭̟͍͓⬛̛̺͎̪̭̤͇̣̟̣ͣ̾̂̈́͆̊̏̔͌ͫͤ͋̔̔̋́́͜⬛̉̂ͣ̉ͧ̓̌̇̌̿͛ͯ̏̾̔̓͏͉͎͉̣̭͚̤̥̰̯̘̭͕͇͝ͅ⬛̢̛̘͚̜̼ͮ̉̔ͣ͗̈́̊̚̕͡⬛͓̳̞̞̹̞͚̩̭̯͇̆ͤ̉͂͒́͞⬛̸͈͙̹̯̝̺͕͕̗͕̦͈̯͉̝̺͍̻̮̋ͧ̌ͧͤ̔̾̇ͨ̿̔̀̇̋̀͘͢͡

the ones around these days spy on ppl via radio waves, but everyone knows that.

and that’s all the Riverside magic! you can only have one, but you can still make use of the others via charms and spells or someone else’s Blood/Static. p much everyone has a leaning to one type, but it’s rare to have enough of it to be useful but that can be changed if you have enough of someone’s Blood/Static.

it’s all just part of daily life on both sides of the River

#riverside #*furious pecking*#unreality #?#probably

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malicerewatchesdoctorwho · 4 years

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Fury From the Deep - Episode Two

Written by - Victor Pemberton Director - Hugh David Producer - Peter Bryant Animation Director - Luke Marcatili and Gary Russel Animation Producer - Luke Marcatili and Gary Russel

Episode Two

("How awful to live out at sea. Lonely." - Victoria to Jamie and the guy explaining the computers and pipelines to them.)

Likes

- That two people now have been attacked by seaweed. This thing is slowly getting by.

- I like that people were coughing and sneezing around the room. It was just filled with gas, after all, even if half of it may or may not actually have been meant to be in there. It was a nice little addition regardless :P

- I actually really like the quiet and plot heavy second scene between Harris and his wife, who is called Maggie. It shows how much they both care for each other, how out of it Maggie is being after being stung by the seaweed, especially when it starts to...transmit for lack of a better word.

- Huh, Dutch guy I don't barely remember has good points in this one. Huh. I like that he is basically immediately siding with the Doctor because he sees intelligence and not the bull-headed stubbornness Mr. Robson shows. Yes, band together with the people who aren't being silly.

- I like how patient the guy explaining things to Jamie and Victoria is being. He's got these two young people asking questions and just takes it all in stride. I also like him calling the control pumping station thing a she.

- Look how damn creepy Mr. Oak and Mr. Quill are. I remember these two but not by name. They were creepier then too. I like when this show pulls off actual creepy.

- Pff, the Doctor asking Jamie to give him a hand to throw a chair through a window. They just fling that thing windowwards without a care.

Dislikes

- The first scene with Victoria and the others was a jumbled mess for me. People were talking over each other all over the place, Victoria I could barely understand because she was talking so fast and distressed she barely made any sense. It was just a mess to me. I think I'll have to rewatch the start of this again. I did get the end of it though with the part about the vent opening on its own and it being a likely point for poisonous gas.

- Wow, I really don't like Robson at all. He's telling a guy who is having a medical emergency with his wife, no he can't take the Doctor with him, because he's under custody...even though the Doctor seems like he is free to roam around the rooms he is in quite freely from what I see. He was never arrested and kept arrested, so hey.

- An EXPERT is on site, and because he has history working rigs out at sea, Mr. Robson doesn't listen to a thing he says, because HE is more of an expert for running the place than someone who actually, you know, STUDIES how this shit actually works for a living. I...I hate this guy. So much.

Awesome

- I really like that the animation in this one has pretty fluid running animation. That's something that can be lacking in these animated episodes that this one does really well.

- I like the sets for the rooms in the residence blocks. They look like nice comfy little homes. Those are probably needed when one has to stay there for long periods. They basically live where they work.

- Really silly to be put on the likes, but I really like that the seaweed impersonates slug-like behaviour. So, yeah nice props there :P

- How many wanted posters for the Master are there in this? XD

Shitty

- It's missing, boo. Thankfully they have these nicely animated episodes made.

In Conclusion

Van Lutyens is the Dutch guy's name. Yeah, i wrote that one down. I actually kind of like the guy. Too bad he's pretty much forgettable for me to have forgotten he existed since last I watched this.

Anyway, I much preferred this episode to the first one. That one just was up and down like a yoyo to me. This one had plot, it had creepy characters, it has some nice moments between one off characters with the Harris's and the Chief guy with Dutch guy.

I also like the guy at the computer. Is he Pierce? I missed his name, damn it. Will need to get that one next.

So far though Maggie is my favourite and I liked when we got quiet, slow moments with her. Because it meant not putting up with Mr. Robson, who I cannot stand.

Body count - 0. Again. Huh. Unless all the people in the rigs died, in which case 2 rigs worth of people are dead. But they aren't on screen, just mentioned, and may not even be dead, so 0.

#Classic Doctor Who #doctor who #Fury From the Deep #episode two #epic rewatch #Second Doctor #Jamie McCrimmon #victoria waterfield #seaweed

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blaperile · 4 years

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Homestuck^2 - Bonus Story The Influencers (Part 3) - Reaction

Alright, back to the Influencers we go! That was pretty quick.

Last time we saw how they turned out to be behind the unlocked belltower.

Is there some other event from the Candy plot that will now be explained? I'm not exactly sure if there's something else that needs explaining right now that could logically have been done/caused by them?

Let's find out.

Page 25:

Aha, looks like they're taking a break in a coffee shop.

abunantChewtoys is right that this seems to be somewhat neutral terrain! Seeing as it's got both the English and the Alternian alphabet on it.

I like how the logo kind of seems like the image of a sun and a cloud.

Judging from the narration, it looks like this chapter might focus more on Avril? The previous ones seemed to focus more on Imode (in the first chapter) and Silas (in the second chapter) after all, so it makes sense if we now focus on Avril.

Page 26:

Looks like it's mostly Troll customers there, but they do accept human customers, that's cool to see.

Oh and hey, a Dersite with a Troll!

So yeah, seeing as this is still the same day as the previous events, I doubt much is going to happen now?

I mean, the rebels came together on the belltower and then went to spend their night as they discussed what happened to Dave, right?

And then it should have been some days until Gamzee's funeral, right?

I'm pretty curious where this is going.

Are they going to see some kind of message on the news? A statement from Jane perhaps?

It would be interesting to see the reactions of the Trolls in this coffee shop.

Page 27:

Ha, what a difference in what they're all having.

Imode having a bunch of pancakes, Silas just having a coffee, and Avril seems to be having a hamburger, fries and a salad.

Man, for being a coffee shop they do have plenty of food there as well. I wish coffee shops were like that here too. :P

Page 28 - 29:

Pfff, so looks like these people heard what was discussed about Yiffy.

I wonder what they're going to do with that information?

Are they perhaps going to post something on social media to try and turn the public opinion against Jane?

I love how Silas pretended not to be interested in any food right now, and now the moment Avril is looking away... yoink! xD

Page 30:

Heh, the combination of the suit Imode is wearing in that musical, the moon, and the buildings around it, remind me a lot of Midnight City and the Midnight Crew.

Page 31:

Pff, these silly people. Imode building a tower of what I think are those little milk containers for coffee? Meanwhile Avril is looking for the salad and Silas acting all innocent, haha.

Right, I believe this was mentioned before. Not only does Imode know Harry, but Silas knows Tavros. Is there also someone famous that Avril knows?

Page 32:

Nope, Avril doesn't know anyone famous apparently. :P

Looks like they really did hear a lot of what the rebels talked about then, they even seem to have heard that Rose and Jade are the secret parents of Yiffy.

Page 33:

Wait what??

So the air raids already started here, not just after the scene in the church?

Page 34:

Pffff, yes time to get out of there. I mean, especially if they realize/believe the humans are bombarding stuff, as a Troll diner they'd probably not consider themselves a safe place to be right now.

I really like how they take the time to create the design for such a new character, name her and even give her dialogue even if it's just for one appearance.

Oh man, in retrospect it's interesting to look back at the backgrounds of pages 27, 29 and 31 now and how they kind of foreshadow what's about to come.

In page 27 everything is calm. In page 29 you see a bunch of birds flying away as if they're startled by something. And then in page 31 you can see a SHIP has appeared in the sky, probably the one that's about to bomb the place.

#Homestuck #Homestuck^2 #The Influencers #update #upd8 #reaction #Imode Kurita #Silas P Beauregard III #Avril Thorpe #Ruthie

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bibybuck · 5 years

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creator tag meme 2019

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 favourite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2019. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

thanks @throwing-roses-into-the-abyss and @obsessivelymoody for tagging me!

1. My Shipwrecked Heart

If you know me, I will not shut up about this fic. This is my baby, my precious little thing. Writing this made me realise just how much I love writing and how much I love writing chick lit. Even though I had to take some time away from it, I can’t wait to get back into it and give a heckin’ good adventure to Dan and Phil.

2. The First Ten Years of Dan and Phil

Alright, cheating a bit, this is 11 works right here, but I cannot not rec this. This was so much fun and joy to write, to have a look at the past decade.

3. she keeps me warm

My very first fem!slash! It was equally exciting and terrifying to write this. Fem!slash is something I want to do more of, so this was a very nice way to establish that universe.

4. HOTline

What a stupid, stupid fic, but this was so fun to write. A silly plot meets writing it late at night - boom, you’ve got yourself some smut! It was definitely a hot, funny (and a bit kinky!) thing.

5. together

Another nostalgia fic (kind of). I’m sorry I was feeling very soft for 2009!Phan this autumn. Wonder why?? :P Admittedly, this might not be my best work, but there is some softness in this that I love.

(+1 songs left unsung (this is a stucky fic))

(+1 my pff exchange fic I cannot yet reveal)

I don’t know who was tagged and who wasn’t, so if you already did this (or don’t want to do it) just ignore this! if you see this, consider yourself tagged!

@amethysthollis @tobieallison @tortitabby @alittledizzy @redactednp @huphilpuffs @jestbee @icequeenjules26 @jorzuela @honeywreath @dayevsphil

#tagged

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corescorner · 5 years

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Charmberry Cove Chapter Two

Chapter Title: Brothers

Wordcount: 3,133

AO3

Ch1

Taglist: @unsocialchapeau @aularei @softest-emo

“Remus!” Roman yells while storming into his twins room, who is lounging in the middle of his floor drawing something and also wearing Roman's hoodie. That is exactly why he's here. “Stop stealing my clothes!” He flails his arms towards his brother in emphasis.

“Hmm, nope” Remus says popping the 'p' and not looking up from his drawing. Roman huffs, gesturing even more frantically at the other.

“Are you wearing my pants?”

“Maybe.”

“You are insufferable. What else do you have of mine?”

“Lots of stuff.”

Roman stares Remus down, hands on his hips waiting for him to crack. Which he doesn't because he never does it's like he's impervious to being intimidated.

“Stop. Stealing. My. Clothes” Roman enunciates after the glaring doesn't work, and that finally gets Remus to stop ignoring Roman's protests.

He stops drawing his head slumps towards the floor and groans. “Uuuuuuuuugh, but Rooooooo.”

“No. No 'but Ro' me mister! We've been through this” he stomps his foot as if to drive his point home.

Remus slowly raises his head, looking up at Roman with a pout; Roman admits that he cracks a bit at the look.

No, he needs to stay strong in his decision darn it!

“Too bad” Remus announces.

Roman steps back half a step making an incredulous noise, he can't believe he almost just felt sorry for his trash goblin brother.

“Rude, you are a rude heathen is what you are” he says crossing his arms.

“Well I don't have many clothes of my own yet that are comfortable enough for me to wear right now, so deal with it Broman.”

Roman falters in his resolve.

“Fine, but start asking first” he says as he saunters to his brothers side he sits next to him on the floor.

“We should go shopping” he decides.

Remus continues his drawing and hums “you should tell that to Mom. Look at my drawing!” he thrusts the sketchbook at Roman, who of course takes it; they are each other’s best critics after all.

He stares at the pencil sketch, blinking at the image. It's good? It's weird. But that is the norm for Remus.

“What am I looking at here?” He asks pointing at a jar? Of some sort on the page. “Are these eyeballs?'

“Yep! It's based on my dream last night” Remus informs, Roman nods and points to something else that might be a tree.

“What exactly is this?” He asks and Remus lights up.

“That's a hand tree, it's very grabby” he says while making slow grabby hands, smile wide showing off his neon braces in full display.

Roman recalls when they got their braces maybe under a year ago, a couple months before their twelfth birthday; the doctor said that they'll probably have to have them for a couple years.

When asked what colours they wanted Roman chose to go full rainbow for his tooth accessories, and that is how he's choosing to think of them as.

Remus yelled out in the doctor’s office that he needed his to be glow in the dark neon green and they actually had that as an option much to Remus' delight.

They annoyed Roman for the longest time, still do honestly.

Remus took a weird liking to them immediately though, he said that the feeling was 'funny' and he liked the 'aesthetic' of them, whatever that meant.

Roman just thought that they hurt and took up too much space in his mouth.

Shaking himself out of his thoughts and still staring at his brothers dream picture.

“This is one for The Wall then. Do you need to add any colour to this one?” he asks.

Remus snatches the sketch book back “yea, red!” he replies.

Roman nods, a lot of his dream pictures tend to only have red in them.

As Remus fills in the parts that need red, Roman stares at The Dream Wall. That's what they call the wall that Remus' bed is against, the wall itself is filled with pages upon pages of sketches, on all types of papers in differing colour schemes, from full coloured ones to black and white sketches. Most however only have red accents to them.

“We should go shopping today, I'll ask Patton and Looogan if they want to come with us” he smirks at his brothers now watching eyes.

“Logan too? He doesn't like shopping.”

“Mm, but he's our friend and he'd probably enjoy it nonetheless” he says as he takes out his keyboard flip phone. His first phone, Mom said that they should be able to get in touch with her and each other just in case, so they both got one two months ago for their birthday. Patton and Logan already had phones, Patton got his first one a while ago; Thomas always likes to know where his baby brother is. And Logan is very responsible so his parents didn't see why not.

“How much allowance money do you have?” Roman asks.

Remus slowly looks to him.

Roman sighs.

“You have been saving up like we said we would right?”

“Yes?” Remus says sitting up “but probably definitely not as much as you have.”

“How much do you have?”

“Maybe fifty bucks.”

Roman sighs again. “We've been saving for months, what have you been spending it on? Never mind I don't wanna know” he puts his hand over Remus' open mouth.

“We'll just go to the thrift store then” Roman decides as Remus licks his hand to make it move from his face. “Oh ew, you so did not have to slobber on me” Roman whines, Remus laughs but otherwise ignores Roman's pout.

“You say that like we weren't going to go to the thrift store to begin with.”

“Shush you! I need to text our friends!”

Remus sticks his tongue out at him, going back to adding red to his drawing.

Opening his text option he sends Patton and Logan their own texts.

Pattycake:

-Hey Puffball, me and Rem want to go thrift shopping today, care to join us?

Logos:

-Hey Nerd! We wanna shop wanna come along?

Logan is the first to reply to Roman's text, he usually always is the fastest to answer; he doesn't like having backed up messages.

Logos:

-I am sorry Roman I cannot make it today, I am otherwise engaged in an activity with my parents. Perhaps another day?

“Pff, the little nerd is out” Roman informs Remus, he sees him shrug from the corner of his eye as Patton’s reply comes in.

Pattycake:

-aww! that sounds like so much fun! but i cant im helping a friend move. maybe tomorrow if you wanna wait for me?

-Helping a friend move?

-yea! ill tell you guys about it tomorrow okay? i havta go.

-Alright, have fun with that.

“That's weird, Patton is helping his friend move?” The concept of Patton helping a friend move isn't what confuses Roman, he can see it perfectly well, Patton helps anyone he can. It's just that... Who is there to move?

“Who's moving?”

“I have no idea, but he said that he's down to do this shopping thing tomorrow, so I'll just text our nerd back and inform him of that.”

Logos:

-You're free tomorrow right, wanna come then?

-Affirmative, that sounds adequate. I shall see you tomorrow

For someone who is 'otherwise engaged in an activity' he sure answered that quickly.

And now that that's settled, they're going shopping tomorrow.

If they can get a ride to the next town over that is.

“I'm gonna go ask Mom if she can drive us tomorrow” Roman says, getting up and dusting himself off.

Remus ignores him being fully concentrated on the gore splattering his page his tongue caught between his teeth as he tries to get a blood puddle the right tones of red.

He leaves his brothers room to look for their mother, which was rather easy considering she's sitting at the kitchen table.

He stands in the doorway to the kitchen, looking at her work, she shuffles some papers around.

“What do you need sweetheart?” She asks without taking her eyes off of the page she's scowling at, then sighs and puts it down. “I need a break, want some lunch? Do you know if your brother is hungry?”

He shrugs, “probably, but I came down to ask if you can drive us to the town over for some shopping tomorrow?”

She sighs as she gets some sandwiches ready, “I'm sorry My Little Prince, that's almost an hour long drive and I have to work all day tomorrow, I need to get this out to my editor by Monday.”

Roman nods “it's alright Mama, I'll figure something out.”

“Oh hey” she perks up, “I know for a fact that Thomas is doing absolutely nothing tomorrow, why don't you ask him?”

Roman's cheeks pink a bit. “Great idea Mother, I shall text Patton to ask him for us.”

She hugs him as she hands him two sandwiches, a bag of chips and two water bottles.

Roman bounds up the stairs with the food, and freezes in Remus' doorway.

“What are you doing?” He asks his twin who just so happens to be halfway out of his bedroom window, he’s backwards and upside down, his legs holding on to the windowsill.

Roman sets the food on the bed and rushes to hold Remus' ankles.

“Hanging out of the window!” Remus yells.

“Yes, I can see that but why?”

“Why not?” Remus rebuttals.

“It's dangerous to start with. You can seriously hurt yourself is why not!” He scoffs honestly, Remus really needs to stop giving Roman heart attacks, he might actually kill him with it one day from what he puts Roman through.

“That's why I have you silly!” Remus flails his arms up towards Roman as if that was the most obvious thing.

“What?” Roman asks.

“Well, you'll always be here to help me, you're The Prince, you'll always save me” he states matter of factually.

Roman's chest squeezes at his brothers pure faith in his capabilities and assurance that they'll always be there for each other.

“Okay, well take this as me saving you right now then and get inside here and away from the window, we are on the second floor you absolute heathen.”

Remus laughs out as he begins to pull himself up, but just falls back down and his laughter doubles after Roman hears a thump.

“Hey Ro? I can't get up.”

Roman stares at his brother in disbelief before his own laughter escapes him in peals.

~0~

The next day has come and Remus is excited about the days plan. Usually he doesn't care for shopping, too much waiting around and too many rules to follow. But this is with his friends and that's a whole different situation.

And fucking around in thrift stores is fun.

Jumping out of bed and pulling on Roman's hoodie that he was wearing yesterday back on is as much as he's gonna get dressed considering he slept in yesterday’s pants, so he's good for today.

Banging on Roman's door proves to be amusing for him and annoying for his twin. Roman opens the door, clothes and hair dishevelled an annoyed look across his face.

Remus waggles his eyebrows “you got someone in there Ro?”

“You just woke me up you idiot. It's too early to leave what are you doing?”

“What? No it's not, it's almost ten! Get dressed bitch. Or don't, either way” he shrugs.

“Don't let Mom hear you swear” Roman mumbles sleepily and adds “Thomas said he'd drive us after lunch.”

He pushes his way past Remus to get to the bathroom and closes the door before Remus can utter anything else.

Fine.

Logan is probably awake, he'll just bother him.

Lego:

-Hey BiTcH you comin with today yea?

-Good morning Remus, yes I am indeed going to be 'chilling' with everyone today. I informed Roman of this yesterday, did he not pass on the information?

-Sweet! Just confirming! I'm bored Roman is being boring entertain meeeeeeeeeee

-Roman is one of the least boring people I have ever been in the presence of. Though I guess that could be said for all of you. I don't know how I deal with it.

-Shuuut up you love uuus!

-Quite.

-Are you sufficiently entertained?

-why got somthin somthin to be doin over there?

-Not at this very moment I do not.

-ThEN keep talkn to me nerd, tell me nerd stuff

-Very well. What would you like to know today?

Remus thinks on this, he and Logan do this often when Remus needs a distraction, and Logan is always glad to rattle off some knowledge, especially if he's highly fascinated by the subject matter. Logan can make anything interesting anyway, it's in the way he enunciates with hand gestures and how he explains things.

Remus can listen to nerd shit for forever if Logan was the one talking. It just calms his thoughts.

Lego:

-Do you have a subject matter you wish to know about or would you like me to just tell you random facts?

-OH HOW ABOUT old torture methods!

-Ah, that is actually very fascinating to look at through the ages.

-Would you like me to break it down for you or just fun facts for today?

-FuuuuuUN fACts!

-Very well. Did you know that one method was to take an elephant, getting it to slowly crush all the bones in ones limbs before inevitably crushing the person’s skull? Very babaric.

-Was that a Babar pun?

-I, what? No. It was simply a typo.

-I won't tell Paaaaatton your secrets saafe with me

They text back an forth like this for a while. Logan telling him facts on whatever Remus' mind jumps to in that moment.

Roman walks into the living room where Remus is lounging upside down on the couch with his feet up in the air.

“Is Mom gone?” He asks rubbing a towel through his wet hair.

“Ymmmhm” Remus answers he’s not really paying attention to Roman, he has the stuff Logan is sending him to read.

“You talking to Looooogan?” Roman sing songs while setting his arms on the back of the couch to lean on them, looking at Remus expectantly with his eyebrows raised.

Remus kicks him in the head.

He was literally (metaphorically) asking for it, standing in the exact right position for Remus' foot to connect to Roman's head.

“Hey!” Roman squawks, “I just took a shower I do not need your grody feet in my hair!”

“Well you shouldn't be in kicking distance now should you” he shoots at his twin.

Roman huffs, walking out of Remus' sight into the kitchen and comes back with a muffin. For both of them, well that's nice of him.

A muffin thwacks off of his forehead, making him drop his phone on to his face. His phone and the muffin are now on the floor and Roman is in the background laughing his ass off.

Okay, not nice of him then.

He throws his body to the side and flops off of the couch to grab both items. Double chocolate muffin though, score.

“Thomas will be here in an hour or so” Roman informs him.

He wiggles his eyebrows “you been talkin to Thooomas a lot lately brother dear? How scandalous.” He puts his hand to his mouth in mock shock.

Roman splutters “Ugh. Ugh, Remus. Please. He's basically Moms age. And for your information, it’s Patton that's been informing me so ha!”

“Doesn't mean you don't have a cruuuuuuush” he sings.

“Shut up. Go get dressed.”

“I am dressed.”

“You wore that yesterday!”

“Your point?”

“You. Wore that. Yes. Ter. Day.”

“You can't repeat yourself to prove a point.”

“I can if that's my whole point! Which it is cause I can not believe that I need to say it more than once to prove it!”

Remus rolls his eyes “no one caaaaaaaaares.”

“Logan would” Roman mutters.

“Give me some clothes then.”

“Wha- bu- euhhhuuuhuhh.” Roman whines out articulately.

“I'm kidding!” Remus says brightly and Roman relaxes. “I'm not changing” he says in a more serious tone and Roman deflates and whines again.

The hour-ish goes by pretty quickly, with Roman putting on where they left off from Full Metal Alchemist and about halfway through the third episode that's playing the doorbell rings.

The twins open the door to Patton’s smiling face.

“Heya guys! You ready to go shopping!” He bounces in place, giving off waves of pure happiness. Well he's extra happy today, and everyone would have noticed even if he didn't have his gift.

“Hell yea!” Remus shouts loudly as Roman locks the door behind them.

Logan is already seated in the back of Thomas' car and Remus gets in before Roman could so he can sit next to him. Patton climbs into shotgun so he can be in front with his brother.

“Hey guys” Thomas greets them as they buckle and settle in the seats.

“Thomas!” Roman crows “how's my favourite theatre teacher?”

Thomas chuckles “I'm not your teacher yet Roman, school hasn't started.”

Roman scoffs “it starts next week, we're practically there.”

Thomas starts the car and drives out of their driveway.

Its funny watching Roman's attempted flirting with Thomas, cause he so doesn't know what he's doing and Thomas obviously doesn't reciprocate so it just goes over the older man’s head every time Roman tries.

There's mischief in Thomas' eyes and Remus isn't the only one who catches it, he shares a look with Logan then glances to his brother to see his reaction, no doubt it'll be hilarious.

“Well Roman” Thomas begins and Roman perks up, “how do you even know that you'll be qualified for theatre?” He asks 'innocently'.

Patton snickers at his brother and lightly slapping his arm. “Tommy” he softly chastises.

Roman makes the loudest most offended noise Remus has ever heard him make; and they live together.

Logan smiles and Remus loudly chortles at his brother’s expense.

“I'm kidding Ro, I'm sure your audition will blow everyone’s socks off” Thomas says to calm the spluttering prince.

“I'm insulted that you even need me to audition, hasn't my whole life been enough of an audition for you?” Roman says flippantly.

“I can't play favourites Roman” Thomas says.

Patton giggles, “pun intended?” He asks.

“Of course” Thomas replies.

Roman perks up “I'm your favourite?” He asks giddily. Remus snorts, Roman elbows him.

“He just said he didn't do favourites Roman. Listen up” Logan interjects.

“Shut your boyfriend up” Roman whispers to him and he elbows Roman harder than he did to Remus.

The rest of the ride goes similarly and they make it to the other town in what seems like no time.

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bladekindeyewear · 5 years

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Boots reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 7 - Meat Page 26

==>

Back on to Jade swimming into the singularity or something. (And trying to stop thinking that maybe Candy ends with a giant polyamorous relationship and/or orgy, because I don’t imagine Rose would have acted so tamely if that’s what she saw.)

Yes, Time is the complement of Space, that was already confirmed in comic if it wasn’t super incredibly obvious all along anyway.

Gah, I’m getting stomach cramps again.

Yeah, too much Space makes Time invisible and vice versa? Or...

Maybe Dave broke her heart a little, and he keeps doing it too, no matter how many different timelines they try out.

God damnit these CRAMPS. Reading further.

Like a garden, where Jade used to spend so much of her time with her hands in the earth and her head in the clouds, dreaming about flowers that bloomed in six colors and grew when she played them a song. Was that real? It’s hard to tell. But it made her happy, didn’t it?

FUCK are you going to start making me doubt the reality of the liFe we saw her living early in-comic????? Cut it out, it’s unsettling!

Alright, alt!Callie is taking the reins from Dirk on this narrative he so smugly thought he could completely consume. That’s good/bad.

slutty adult Jade

FUCKING YIKES!! FUCK YOU DIRK!

FUCK I DIDN’T NEED HER DEATH DESCRIBED IN SUCH DETAIL EITHER. Also alt!Callie’s really embodying Death here.

==>

Pff. Calliope’s writing the story now, in a sense, like she always kind of wanted.

Also pff, this version of her doesn’t know how to describe human stuff colorfully. :)

An adversarial dichotomy between your opposing goals, huh? This might end up as a “none of us can really write the ending” ending that DOES leave it up in the air for everyone else to decide instead.

Fuck, now you’re having THIS Jade suffer by proxy by experiencing the other Jade’s memories. This metatextual ascension’s happening to everyone isn’t it.

Yeah, she’s done it before and stuff--

when jade turns to look at roxy, her eyes are completely black.

FUCK.

my presence shall mitigate, if not altogether subdue, the corrosive effect on reality and the will of its occupants by those who would manipulate the way events are telegraphed for their own megalomaniacal objectives.

Well, fuck. Jade’s been temporarily hijacked for the rest of the story AGAIN, like back in Condesce days, this time as a plot device to keep Dirk from overreaching with his god powers and stepping over everyone’s wills like an Ultimate Riddle style villain. Dirk, I mean. Being the villain. And alt!Callie just doing what she has to to put this back on track. Man I HATE it when Jade’s will doesn’t get to be on full display. Her will is awesome. (Also, alt!Callie just tacitly confirmed that the will of reality’s occupants matters, if that wasn’t obvious already, so ha.)

despite his pretensions to a greater design, the prince of heart cannot be allowed to continue to exert unchecked control over the authoritative recitation of events on this side of my horizon. it cannot be overstated the extent to which he represents a threat to the continued existence of both this world and corporeal life itself.

Yeah, it was indeed looking that way earlier.

Ooh, alt!Callie is really spot-on with her pronoun use.

Alright, Dirk’s voice is shrinking away, and my stomach still feels half-clenched.

Wow, alt!Callie’s really mad at what Dirk’s been doing with this epilogue.

==>

“EPILOGUE FIVE”?????

Did I miss the titles for one, three, and four??? Yeah there were probably there and I just missed them or something.

Pfffff, John looks/smells like shit. :D

...too fresh??

Fuck you John for thinking Monty Python and the Holy Grail isn’t a masterpiece. :P

terezi tips her head to one side, with what john personally regards as a cute expression, one he believes is unique to her. whether he’s correct or not, it’s his belief that there is no one else who emotes in this manner. it’s both quizzical and mocking, two descriptors that he considers to be an apt summation of her personality as well.

Niiiiice. Nice linguistic description of her “>:?” expression.

have no desire to interject thoughts into others’ minds, or to sway intent. nor do i see value in masking the reality of the emotions that i transcribe. this is how he feels. his mind, however, has made a habit of being less clear about his thoughts than i am willing to be.

Oh thank fucking god, I don’t have to question everyone’s thoughts anymore. Until Dirk comes back or something, I dunno.

Oh my fucking god, alt!Callie, you total voyeuristic nerd.

he fears he is in danger of seeming like the type of creepy human male who is likely to collect large pillows bearing the illustrated images of japanese earth females. to me, this idea means nothing. but it is causing him to sweat.

This is one very relatable snippet of text.

Feed Terezi Feed Terezi Feed Terezi

WHY is the gold tooth poisonous??????? ...Wait, Caliborn affixed it to his mouth intentionally. He had every right and motive to make it poisonous for no good reason. Ugh.

Beep beep, let’s find Vriska.

==>

WHAT

WHAT JANE

WHAT THE FLYING FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN DOING

JESUS

Using Trickster Mode as a drug to further one’s political performance. That’s fucking horrifying. No wonder it was on the triggers list.

additionally, it prevents one from dwelling on any given personal problems, or the greater implications of any political statements one might make.

Pff, mhmm.

Problematic, huh? Jane seems like the slightly-old-fashioned sort of person who thinks it’s getting kind of ridiculously silly how much people are caring about stuff being “problematic”. And yet that stuff DOES matter, and ignoring it DOES hurt people, and she not only isn’t seeing that but is drugging herself to see it LESS with that goddamned lollipop. Holy shit.

she turns around promptly, her body jolted by the surprise of her sudden reversal. she bends over, cradles the lollipop reverentially, and situates it carefully in a place signifying respect: atop the mantle, after clearing space for it by shoving several brittle, worthless objects to the floor.

PFFF. Okay, so alt!Callie ISN’T above altering characters slightly from their narrative course when it comes to one of the few things she deems important. Heh.

Having “his control of a shared vehicle fully suppressed”, huh? Does alt!Callie only mean the narrative, or maybe Rose too with whatever weird bullshit he did to her?

Uh, “while the seer both diminishes and ascends”??? D:

--Oh, oh shit. He was planning to NARRATIVE CONTROL Jake into going along with things. D: D:

Yeah, Jake would want to bang all the aliens, really.

Sendificator rifle, or something like that. Got it.

==>

How fucking long is this epilogue, anyway????? I mean, the length is appropriate from an objective point of view, I’m just frustrated because I’m going to have to spend every waking hour liveblog-reading it until I’ve reached the end or I’m likely to fucking explode, and I didn’t want this to be my entire day/weekend/existence again AAGH HOMESTUCK YOU BLACK HOLE

anyway yaay karkat in a suit.

Alluding to assassination attempts? What, is that red rifle going to try and fulfill that old “through the silver screen and straight into my heart” unused foreshadowing-herring from act six, or five, or whenever it was? Five, I believe.

Pff, super pacs, yeah. Dave’s nearly as political as me now or something. Except he actually acts on it here instead of just sitting around talking about it and thinking he’s right all the time, like me.

Wait, JANE ACTUALLY WENT THROUGH with smearing Jake??!??? Holy shit she’s lost touch.

KARKAT: SWEET BRO AND HELLA JEFF IS ABSOLUTELY HORRENDOUS SUBJECT MATTER FOR PRODUCING CAMPAIGN ADS! KARKAT: NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT, OR WHAT POINTS YOU’RE TRYING TO MAKE! DAVE: yeah its awesome

Pfffff.

...yeah, Jake isn’t thinking of ANYTHING except Dirk right now, really.

Oh huh, Dirk HAS been as controlling of Jake as he used to be, now that alt!Callie’s pointing it out. Just with an even more insidious mechanism.

Oh cool, Karkat’s version of the policy pitch! :D :D :D Can’t wait can’t wait reading

(dont lie karkat you totally know shes hot)

Pff, stop making it seem obvious that Dirk wanted to assassinate Jake for political purposes. Heck, even if that WAS his plan it’d just be a temporary death that he’d resurrect from and then they’d try to turn it into... what, some media spin on how Karkat might have been responsible? Or a troll?? That latter part would make things MUCH more xenophobic. I’m starting to get seriously into the politics of this.

==>

Pff, now ‘rezi’s eating tobacco.

...okay, is Terezi REALLY going to go for a real conversation with just an honest ask for one? I don’t think so--

--aaand there she goes laughing, as expected. At least at first.

Yep, Terezi’s wearing the shoes. Nice date gift.

--And yep, Terezi remembers all that. She managed to do the nigh-metatextual mind merge with her other selves WITHOUT even needing God-Tier.

Yeah, Vriska always seemed fit to abandon the kismesis you deserved when it suited her, ‘rezi. :(

JOHN: even worse, i might have tried to fix things MYSELF! TEREZI: OH D34R GOD JOHN: yeah!!!

Yeah I cackled out loud at that.

TEREZI: 34RTH C 1S P3RF3CT 1SNT 1T? TEREZI: BUT NOT FOR YOU TEREZI: YOU DONT *F33L* 1T

john swallows a thick breath. he reminds himself that he never wanted perfection, never asked for it. and yet he feels guilty every day for failing to enjoy it as much as he believes he was supposed to.

Holy shit. John’s survivor’s guilt from all the doomed timelines he witnessed and escaped is keeping him from feeling their victory has been real, and making his “squandering” of it gut his self-esteem too. God damnit.

Roxy and John wouldn’t have worked out????? Hey Terezi, quit it! >:[ That’s not fair, just very plausibly and authoritatively dismissing a ship we’d hoped for offscreen like-- Oh, shit, she’s alluding to something that happened in the Candy side I haven’t read isn’t she. She would DEFINITELY have an idea of what happened on the other side of that Choice Split with her hero role. Fuck what am I in for

....pfff, that Callie vs Dirk bit. It’s like revenge against Doc Scratch, which it kind of IS, really.

I didn’t expect this much time to be spent dwelling on really intimate John/Terezi scenes. It’s really refreshing! Making this kind of meaningful no matter whether it’s black or inexplicably red they end up with or whatever, and equally meaningful if they don’t end up in any sort of relationship at all, really.

even without the aid of a juju, he is fortunate enough to be blessed with the only true form of divinity. to be released from the prison of nonsensical inhibitions which so often psychologically hobble the more primitive forms of life.

Alt!Callie, are you causing this? I thought you wanted to be impartial.

Okay, THAT finally brought things suitably closer to the black side of romance like I would have expected.

==>

their finger hovers over dirks number for a moment, but... no. that would not be a good idea. they don’t know why they suddenly think it’s a bad idea. it just is.

Okay, THAT shred of influence is fair. You DID say you were going to countermand his influence, so yeah.

Good excuse to get narration of her thoughts, if flimsy. :)

Lord save me from this fake woke nightmare.

Pfffff. Fuck you, Dirk. ;)

ROXY: guess ill just open the damn curtains and let some light in here

FUCK you’re going to kill JADE aren’t you???? You’re giving Jade a TEMPORARY DEATH just to deny alt!Callie’s proxy?!?? That’s fucking insidious! Fuck you, Dirk!!! That one wasn’t a loveable joke this time, that was an ACTUAL fuck you. This epilogue is really good at making him out to be the villain now that his powers have expanded to the narrative.

Reading reading reading...

...Huh. Is Roxy talking about coming out as non-binary and getting advice on it? Hm!

Alright, and she’s defs a little gay for Callie from what she’s saying if it wasn’t clear before. If “gay” even has any relevance when you’re talking about a pair of non-binary... yeah whatever. :)

Alright, time to hear Dave talk about it all some more I guess.

--Yep, he’s only mostly gay. Called it. There’s a whole spectrum.

...and yeah, I mean... why NOT let it go beyond quadrants with Karkat and never slap an official label on it? You’re just two people who love each other and want to spend time together in any capacity, be it positive or negative. It doesn’t have to result in anything formal unless you want it to, much less boning down or something. Dirk, stop getting creepy with how hard you’re shipping them, that’s the fanbase’s job.

Jade and Roxy are visible from this location, right? Wasn’t it mentioned that they live in a tower in Carapaceville or whatever? Has Dirk successfully conned alt!Callie into having her vessel shot through? Probably.

the ongoing corruption of his cerebrally impaired daughter.

Eewwwwweweewww

Anyway yeah here comes the plot twist or whatever...

Yeah, Callie gets it wrong, and--

......ah, a tranq? That makes more sense and is more than slightly less evil, if still ultimately evil given his eventual presumed goals or whatever.

DIRK: Like the bitch she is.

FUCK YOU

Oh, Jade’s going to be asleep for the rest of the story? AGAIN?!???? FUCK YOU SO MUCH, DIRK.

Jesus christ. How long is this epilogue anyway.

Taken your leave? From this planet??? What the fuck, are you--

Oh. Oh shit.

When Dirk ascended into absorbing the memories of all his various split selves, did he get a heaping helping of DOC SCRATCH in there too??? Was Doc Scratch’s ambition actually for POST-victory ascension in this very manner? FUCK. Either way, him sharing some of those memories puts a pretty unique spin on his descent into goddamn evil, here.

Reading on... oh shit, did Callie write the candy half??

==>

Huh, postcoital; we actually went there. Cool.

Ah, she gives up on Vriska? Better find Vriska really fast, then.

Oh, you’re really going? Or, trying, anyway.

==>

Really committed to this whole ascending to literal godhood schtick, aren’t you, Dirk?

(Hm. Makes me almost think that this situation with Rose is going to end up with someone splitting her essence entirely in two to save her; her raw Seer-ness getting forced into a convenient vessel (cueball, wonk wonk) and herself returning to consciousness a slight bit more mortal than she was before, ie not going completely insane. Hmm.)

Oh, “Vast Fuck” sorta-maybe-confirmed..??

Stop tacitly insulting Jake as you puppet him, Dirk. He’s a dumbass but not THAT much of a dumbass.

beta-bitch

FUCK YOU, DIRK.

She loves you, Jake, more than anything, and you toyed with her heart.

Fuuuuuuck you.

could subsume your entire personality

Shit, he IS trying to pretty much consume them all. Swallow their individuality and take total control of all their actions. All Prince of Heart on the whole world. Dirk you need to fucking DIE.

And to love Dirk is to obey him.

There isn’t a Fuck You large or loud enough to what I feel about the mental violation Dirk is inflicting on Jake right now, and everyone else around him, and I sincerely and selfishly hope this epilogue is almost over because I don’t want too many pages to stand between this one and seeing Dirk fucking PAY.

Jake opens his big, dumb mouth to make the only important contribution to the plot he ever has or ever will make in his whole sad, pointless joke of a life.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU

Let’s hope that in your hubris your looking away managed to let him say something different or some such.

==>

You try to remember if you’ve ever been revived by Jane before. You honestly can’t recall. So much shit has happened. Maybe?

Yeah, I don’t recall either really.

The poison needling through you is antithetical to narrative relevance. You’re not dying, John. You’re being erased. Cherubs don’t fuck around. We’ve both been learning that the hard way.

Okay, fuck? How the hell? Is this just because Dirk says it is, or???

I guess it’s tragic, though maybe not in the conventional sense. My view is, the real tragedy with you, John, is that you never mattered all that much.

Yeah, Dirk’s first fucking rant when he took over the narrative officially was about John being a you-insert nobody average guy, and the DISDAIN he shows to everything about who John is is pretty goddamn insulting. He has NO concept of how John managed to bring everyone together or... UGH!

even though you knew both then and now that it was the only choice you possibly could have made.

Dammit, so it probably WASN’T a full timeline-bisecting Mind split. Just a side branch that wasn’t as likely, because just like with his Denizen, John’s will was tilted toward this part of the choice. D:

I see how some of this seems to be going, or at least think I do... Dirk thinks that John needs to die heroically “for the good of the story”, and something’s potentially going to come in and say “no”? That the whole reason they WON was to essentially be free of that cruel logic once and for all, and that Dirk is gonna get one hell of a smackdown for trying futilely to enforce it in their new post-victory domain??

She listens to him bleed while she smells him die.

--That, and fulfilling bits of foreshadowing for shits and giggles. >:(

Huh, “friable”, didn’t even know that was a word. Just looked it up; you learn something new every day.

Okay what is Dirk planning with the fucking body.

==>

Jane swept the election, of course. I told you I was going to win. After Jake’s incoherent and scandalous heel-turn at Karkat’s ill-fated rally, no amount of esoteric, three-dimensional jpeg artefacts could have salvaged the Vantas campaign.

Ah, but is that what REALLY happened, or what you’re saying happened, about to be overwritten?

Mainly that their BFF Jade has been in a coma for an entire month. They’ve been in and out of the hospital handling her affairs. Her next of kin is listed as John Egbert, and no one’s seen him in ages. It’s like he just disappeared suddenly. Like some great hand came out of the sky and crossed his name off the big list of guys we ever need to give a shit about anymore.

F U C K Y O U

Roxy, after all, and since her big heart-to-heart about the personal politics of queer onion metaphors, and ten stages of galaxy-braining through the many vicissitudes of the phrase “no homo,” Roxy has decided to really step up her gender experimentation. I guess at this point she’s gone beyond Stage Ten. Which I imagine is somewhat like reaching Super Saiyan 2 of gender, and then going even further beyond.

Holy crap, she’s going full Dave Lalonde. That’s pretty sweet.

...Isn’t Terezi like obviously covered in blood and stuff?

ROXY: they stay home all day with the blinds drawn paintin some weird ass shit on the walls

Oh my fucking GOD real!Callie please save the plot. Nuke this self-indulgent Dirkshit.

ROXY: like lotsa nasty purple blood and um ROXY: nudity???? TEREZI: >:? ROXY: yeah yikes ROXY: but MOST of it is cute stuff like... various combos of all of us being happy and gettin married and shit ROXY: anyway thats kept callie kinda busy

...This is an allusion to the Candy side I haven’t read, isn’t it? Maybe THAT’s part of what she supplants this bullshit with. Or since it mentions “various combinations”, she’s restoring the possibility to everything that the ending was supposed to have?

This is potentially a real fucking indictment of the idea of a narrative-driven ending when what actually mattered was the characters’ escape from said narrative. :)

ROXY: its like theyre traumatized ROXY: and they think ill drag whatever possessed jade back into our home with me

Okay fuck maybe Callie ISN’T helping. Maybe she’s just so worried about the alternate history she could have lead that she’s retreating into every Candy-like fanfic she can think of. :(

What’s with the phone buzz? The intervention we’ve been hoping for, since Dirk’s making her ignore it?

Oh cool, figures Terezi’s been hearing the narrative all along and just politely not acknowledging the fact that she hears it! Maybe SHE’LL help unfuck this mess. (And according to her, Roxy’s gone full “him” too!)

Fuck fuck fuck Terezi don’t listen to him go against his bullshit instead

Where, canon? Is that where you’re planning to escape back to or some such, with yourself as the author? Is that orange Andrew actually you or some BS?

Dammit.

==>

FUCK, “new body”????

The new body I’ve made for her won’t have much use for her usual ensembles. That’s all I was saying.

FUCK FUCK FUCK it IS the cueball isn’t it. Holy shit. That’s even worse than a robot. FZUCZK

Okay calm down. The Rose part of Rose can be cut away and rescued from this fate somehow, if she isn’t just whole-hog rescued entirely which would also be good. FUCK DIRK

...look purple? What?

DIRK: What’s happening here is the best thing for everybody.

Yeah, go fuck yourself. This shit had better be undone soon.

To finally face the truth. If Rose has been spending more time with me than you, if she’s realizing she resonates more with me due to our natural similarities and finds my presence more rewarding than yours, then what does that say about YOU, Kanaya?

PFFFF. YOU’RE GONNA BREAK UP THE PAIRING JUST SO YOU CAN STEAL HER? HAHAHAHAHAHA NO.

Okay, after THAT page’s last bit of horrid manipulation, this can’t end in any way that doesn’t involve ages of existential and literal torment for Dirk, forever.

==>

Epilogue Seven, huh. One last thing he wants to take care of before getting out of dodge, huh. I see Karkat and Dave’s text colors on screen. Is he going to try to force them to finally bone down or confess? This would be the perfect place for his plan to get fucking stopped.

Homestuck, stop making my fucking stomach clench so hard.

That’s a hell of a disaster Dirk thought up for these guys on that stage.

Part of this whole shitshow might be to tell us that this ending, this “fanfic” of dubious authenticity of an epilogue that Dirk is giving us is how DIRK believes it would end best for everyone involved, but not how everyone else would, ignoring their wills... while also discarding the idea of the epilogue that any individual reader of Homestuck would want in favor of the possibilities he meant to leave open with the ending.

Alright, here comes Dirk NOT forcing them to bone down but rather trying to persuade-brainwash them into a relationship talk.

DAVE: so what youre saying is you believe in me who believes in you

Dave. Please.

Hey, the Gurren Lagaan reference went WAY too long unsaid. Even if Andrew literally didn’t know a thing about said anime when he made the character designs.

I look Dave right in his mind’s eye and tell him to cut it the fuck out. He wants it, you want it, so just go for it, my man. It’s now or never.

DAVE: oh DAVE: same

I feel every brain cell in my immortal body begin to perish in real time.

BAAHAHAHAAHHhahahha FUCK YOU Dirk.

I mean, I want Dave and Karkat together as much as the next guy but FUUUUUUUCK YOU DIRK!!! I want everything you ever wanted to go wrong and shit on you. Their equivocating soft-nearly-mance is strong enough to go even against you, who thinks yourself the narrative fucking Sun.

Oh this is fantastic

I’ve literally been decapitated and that was less unbearable than this.

YES KEEP FALLING APART

You see that twinkle? That’s devotion, you unbelievably dense neutron star of a dumbshit.

Nice callback to... what was it, Dave’s first rant at Tavros to troll him back or whatever?

radially effervescing kaleidoscope of more hot boy peckers than you could ever imagine.

Yep, DEFINITELY a callback to that. I’ll never forget the sick flow of that metaphor.

DAVE: i just keep having thoughts i know id never think

SAVE US DAVE

Dammit, near miss.

The privilege of a Strider Eye Moment is about the most earth-shattering experience a young man will ever have in his life.

Pfff

DAVE: GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD AND JUST LET ME DO THIS MYSELF!!!

yaaaaaayyy

I mean we didn’t save the whole story yet but at least Dirk got fucked over and we still get Davekat intimacy.

That’s pretty classy actually, not getting into detail and just sounding blown the fuck away by it even though he’s Dirk. That’s pretty good.

==>

Something about the height of Rose, roughly Rose-shaped, and wrapped in a cloth. I know she’s gonna love it the first time she sees it.

Oh so it IS a robot body. Well, fuck you a little less than it potentially being the magic cueball, but STILL fuck you.

I may have already mentioned, but I’m a bit too deft at this for my own good. Doing the thing where I tug at the part of someone’s latent thought process that already knows they adore me. That if someone would just pull the stops from their sense of inhibition, they’d realize they would do anything for me.

It’s called killing their soul with your role abilities you ASSHOLE

I hope this crush you filled him with bites you in the fucking ass now that he’s here.

DIRK: I won’t be coming back, Jake.

Oh, so you’re just going to drop the truth on him like that? Let’s see how that works out for you, asshole.

DIRK: Jane needs you now more than ever.

Oh fuck you. This is “best for everyone”, huh?????

DIRK: You’ll just be, you know. DIRK: Her candy boy? JAKE: CANDY BOY??? DIRK: Yeah. Being on call. DIRK: Serving a multimillion-year term of giving her the right kind of “presidential action” she needs to keep going. To keep her morale up and such. DIRK: To provide her with many heirs. DIRK: Doesn’t that sound cool? JAKE: HEIRS??

Um. What the fuck? Is this even Dirk anymore? It’s not Condesce intervention, I’m not going to try and suspect that just from the callback or anythiiiii-----

Fuck, we DID just get an alive Meenah dropped into a universe somewhere.

Maybe this IS Condesce intervention. Just a different Condesce. o_O

Two ticks longer than he ever deserved.

Gah???

DIRK: But I’ll never let you break my heart again.

So this was all just revenge for dumping him??????????????

==>

Guh, back to Kanaya-- wait, why does Dirk want Terezi around, anyway?

Jade wakes up and then-- Okay. Okay my eyes flitted down to the green halfway down the page and I saw this phrase before I actually got to it.

JADE: DIRK STRIDER HAS TO BE STOPPED!!!!!!!!!!

Thank FUCK.

Anyway reading the in-between...

The scope of her awareness, she now understands, is truly staggering. Memories are suddenly accessible that are almost impossible to believe. Some of them are unspeakably marvelous to her. Others, deeply disturbing.

FUCKING COOL she got Ultimate-Selved! Now she knows too much about what’s going on to stop her! Get fucked, Dirk!!!!

No, more than just disturbing. She lingers in the dark recesses of her consciousness. There were things she saw, things she was told... Her mouth twists into a silent snarl. She’s been angry plenty of times before. But never so angry that she stopped being cute. She’s not cute this time.

YEAAAAAHHH JADE GET ANGRY

This had better not be Dirk intentionally riling her up since he still has control of the narrative though.

Next post.

#Homestuck #Homestuck Epilogue #upd8 #Homestuck Liveblog #bladekindeyewear #BlastYoBoots

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verdigrisprowl · 6 years

Text

May 28 Dancitron Movie Night - Slapstick Night

The last movie night before Soundwave’s vacation. Consisting of a variety of Three Stooges, Marx Brothers, and Abbott & Costello.

Prowl had a great time.

ItsyBitsySpyers *Soundwave settles into his couch and stretches his legs across it. Tonight is a lazy night.* VProwl *appears. surveys couch. well, the seat appears to be bumpier than he's used to, but he can work with this.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Soundwave bobs his head at Prowl. Good evening.* VProwl *nods back. good evening.* *all right. he's sitting on soundwave's legs.* ItsyBitsySpyers *HOLD ON LET HIM MOVE THEM* VProwl *it appears he is being a-jostled. never mind, he's standing.* ItsyBitsySpyers [[Please, sit. Just not on his shins.]] VProwl What, that isn't my seat tonight? ItsyBitsySpyers [[It is. He wanted to - never mind.]] VProwl @S «If you'd prefer your thighs...» *humor ping* ItsyBitsySpyers *....Tiny brighten.* @P: [[He would.]]

*You put it out there. He's calling you on it.* VProwl @S «I'm sure you would. But I'd rather not relocate myself when guests start arriving. After the show?» @S «So what's tonight's showing about?» *considers the music currently playing* «... Zombies, or cranberries?» VProwl *oh hey, prowl's favorite song* ItsyBitsySpyers *Damn. He thought that would work.*

@P: [[After the show, then. He holds you to that. And to him, at that point.]]

@P: [[Tonight's showing is neither of those. It is Earth slapstick humor.]] VProwl *slapstick? slapstick? gives soundwave a bright-opticked look.* *... and then very calmly sits in his lap.* ItsyBitsySpyers @P: [[Ah. Perhaps he should have done tonight's content sooner.]]

*Lightly wraps his arms around Prowl's middle. Easy enough to get out of when others show up.* Windchill *Windchill wanders in with The Worm, sorry everyone.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Ah. Short-lived, but comfortable.*

[[Greetings, Windchill.]] VProwl *the moment has been had, slides off.* Windchill *Pretends to have seen nothing.* Prowl *arrives too late to not see anything* Windchill *He's a little busy being surprised that he isn't the last one in for once anyway.* ItsyBitsySpyers ((we start in 11 minutes)) Windchill *Windchill holds up his worm by way of greeting. She looks unimpressed with this maneuver.* ItsyBitsySpyers [[Greetings, youngling. Not one for heights?]] Windchill *No, she merely thinks herself above everyone else without Dad's assistance, that's all.* *Unbridled arrogance runs in the family. It doesn't stop her from coolly surveying her surroundings, looking for something to eat.* ItsyBitsySpyers *There are the usual snacks on the bar, and if she looks to her left, a nibbled-on snack that used to be Laserbeak's. That is, it still is Laserbeak's, but it could be hers if she eats it. Fair turn against how Bird usually operates.* Windchill *Unfortunate.* Swoop *FULL ON slides through the door to a stop across the room* ItsyBitsySpyers *Sits up and stares at the dinoslide.* Swoop *arms up* [[...How musically appropriate.]] Swoop *won at this move* Windchill *Windchill turns to find a seat but is cut off by Worm Peeping and dramatic pointing towards the snack table, as if she'd never eaten in her entire LIFE instead of just before arriving.* ItsyBitsySpyers ((...did rabbit just attribute soundwave's telepathy to swoop)) Prowl ((it did Swoop ((apparently he can speak through swoop now?)) VProwl ((apparently so)) ItsyBitsySpyers ((HOT DAMN don't let prowl find out)) Swoop ((a terrible power for all parties involved)) VProwl ((prowl will assume this is soundwave's version of ventriloquism and be very impressed)) Swoop *scrambles to his feet* JURASSIC WORLD 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Windchill *Windchill grunts, and waves at Swoop, who appears to be yelling nonsense that he's going to ignore for the moment because his spawn is screaming in his ear.* ItsyBitsySpyers [[It would seem she does want fuel. Take as much as you wish. The last two weekends have been somewhat slow. Not as many mechs from certain timelines around for some reason.]] Swoop *some might say he's dancing with excitement, they'd be very liberal with their definition of dance, it's a wiggle* ItsyBitsySpyers ((prowl honey you don't want to see soundwave's version of ventriloquism. unless you think severed heads are funny.)) [[Another dinosaur movie? Didn't they just have one?]] Swoop First one FOREEEEEEEEVER ago!! ItsyBitsySpyers ((ok where did i put my warnings uhhhh)) Windchill Thanks... *This is spoken with a measure of dread, knowing a monster is in the making if she gets her way.* ItsyBitsySpyers ((AHA thank you windows 10 update for clearing all my history and recently opened lists and stuff you butt 😐 anyway WARNINGS: Slapstick violence, old-timey sexism, possible animal injury, outdated science, bad accent imitation.)) Windchill *He moves to the table anyway so she can point at the ones she wants, acquires a small selection, and takes a seat before she gets it into her giant head to leap from his arms and devour the entire table.* ItsyBitsySpyers [[If the second one is not terrible, he will consider showing it. But that is a long time from now. For the moment... slapstick.]] Swoop *squeaks* KAY VProwl *prowl is Ready* *and hey--even Swoop might not complain tonight.* Windchill *Dear god.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Soundwave's on the ball this time, he sets his timeline's Prowl up with a special camera feed.* VProwl *pings alternate with video feed. this is an entirely visual art and she should get to appreciate it.* Prowl *all the feeds* *accepts both, to better appreciate all the... art* Swoop *doesn't see Bird and is cripplingly disapointed for a solid two seconds before he recognizes what this is and scrambles over to watch* ItsyBitsySpyers *...Wait, is Swoop actually interested?* Swoop *sits on the floor in front of someone unfortunate* Windchill *You can make it Windchill.* ItsyBitsySpyers [[...Don't humans usually put things on the loaves of ground reproductive plant organs.]] *Huff. He kept eating the soap...* Swoop *has a crest for MAXIMUM blocking view and giggles at the silly runs* KEHEHEH umbrella Windchill This speaks to me. ItsyBitsySpyers [[This is roughly the same method he must use to wake Frenzy.]] VProwl Food, gongs, and violence? Swoop keheh them THROW like Ratchet Windchill *Reaches out to poke Swoop with a toe while Blue munches on the first snack of the evening.* ItsyBitsySpyers [[Not the violence. Occasionally a splash of solvent when he is too deep in recharge after a grand outburst.]] Swoop *just assume every time someone gets hit or hurt swoop laughs WAY loud* ItsyBitsySpyers *They won't be selling THOSE bottles.* VProwl Pff. Swoop *sets a hand on the toe without looking away* VProwl ... Flawless sales technique. Windchill *He's trapped.* Swoop kehhehh ! * looks over at Soundwave* ItsyBitsySpyers [[Do not go into the sales business, Prowl.]] *Glances at Swoop.* Swoop Soundwave Is 3 Stooges a trine? ItsyBitsySpyers *Soundwave sits up and turns his head from one side to the other.*

[[He... He does not know.]] VProwl More or less. Pff! Windchill *Raises his brows.* VProwl *you've seen it here folks: the first and last time Prowl will laugh at a cop.* ItsyBitsySpyers *He's got it recorded, don't worry.* VProwl *... unless this skit has another one.* Windchill Make this old body new, please. *Vaporize him right here.* Swoop You old? ItsyBitsySpyers ((orders a 2 liter of coke and a 2 liter of sprite... gets pepsi and 7up. so close, and yet so far.)) Windchill Very old. Swoop How old? ItsyBitsySpyers [[Not as old as some.]] Windchill (( You tried. )) ItsyBitsySpyers *Stares at own Prowl.* [[That's medicine? What does it do, remove unnecessary organs?]] Swoop *for once picks up on Soundwave's body language and looks at Prowl too* Windchill I'm...old? VProwl *completely fails to pick up on Soundwave's body language.* ItsyBitsySpyers [[Is that valid math.]] Swoop ((It just sunk in own wildly unsettling having Soundwave AND a dinobot stare at you at the same time would be. SOmething is about to happen to you, but it's very unclear what...)) Windchill *Furrows his brows. He doesn't really know how to answer Swoop's question. Meanwhile, Blue devours another treat happily, her feet kicking with every CHOMP.* VProwl It depends. If their performance is being evaluated independently and the failure of one or two would not doom the remainder, they do indeed have three chances. Prowl *loses the staring contest with Soundwave...* ItsyBitsySpyers *Loud huff. Wordplay. Best.* ((and yeah that WOULD be frightening)) Swoop *absolutely falls into a giggle fit at the skull knocking* VProwl *oh, there are the cranberries.* ItsyBitsySpyers *THAT DOESN'T COUNT* Windchill *Shrugs.* VProwl ... Humans' internal environments are highly acidic and, therefore, acid-resistant. It's possible that this is indeed fine medicine, even though it strips paint. Swoop *is literally rolling on the floor* Windchill You having fun, Swoop? Prowl *huffs at the sign* Windchill *Pokes with OTHER toe.* ItsyBitsySpyers *mimics the sign on his visor for a second before deciding it's useful and filing it away* VProwl ... if it dissolves fabric it's probably going to...... do that. Dissolve his hair. Swoop *covers where the toe poked him and looks up from his giggle fit* ItsyBitsySpyers [[He can grow more. Things always continue growing on humans.]] VProwl *huff.* Windchill *Other toe: trapped* VProwl *another huff.* They'd go faster if they just walked. Prowl *amused hum at the body pile up* ItsyBitsySpyers [[Oh! He recognizes this. Is the Scooby canine going to appear?]] VProwl *HUFF. How—?* Who? Swoop *loses it when they all tumble over the bed* ItsyBitsySpyers [[A mystery investigating dog. He often gets involved in chases like these.]] Swoop *ends up watching upside down from his spot on the floor on his back* Prowl What kind of mysteries? Windchill *Reaches down to poke Swoop's toe.* VProwl *shoulders tremble. what a mighty sailboat.* Swoop *holds whatever windchill uses to poke him with his toes* ItsyBitsySpyers [[The world is safer with them in bed.]] Windchill *Both feet and an entire hand, gone.* Help. VProwl It is. Swoop Her Bird say "Me old!" You old as Bird? Windchill *Blue looks down, but doesn't seem even the slightest bit concerned with her father's predicament.* VProwl *oh! Marx Brothers!* Windchill Uh. How old is Bir-Laserbeak? Prowl Ha, haddock. Swoop Umm Dunno Old ItsyBitsySpyers [[Primus.]] *Puts his helm in his hand. May he never hire anyone this dim for his door keeping.* Windchill Oh. VProwl *shoulders tremble.* ItsyBitsySpyers [[Laserbeak is nearly twice as old as he is.]] Windchill That's very informative. Prowl They're both younger than me. Swoop Her older than Me Swoop 😆 ItsyBitsySpyers [[Primus himself is younger than you.]] Prowl *Prowl's being helpful* He wishes. Windchill Almost everyone is older than you, Swoop. ItsyBitsySpyers *Nudges Prowl with elbow.*

@P: [[You may like this one.]] Swoop Bob no-- :x Windchill *He cups his chin with his remaining free hand while Blue wipes her sticky fingers on his cheek.* Bob? VProwl @S «... I think I've seen this one.» Swoop *sits up and pulls all his limbs around himself* ItsyBitsySpyers *Considers. ... Oh, yes.*

@P: [[That is right. You have. Well, you may enjoy it again.]] VProwl @S «I'm sure I will.» ItsyBitsySpyers ((it's here cause it's my favorite, sorry)) Swoop *wraps his arms around his knees and glowers* Windchill *Grunts. He hadn't seen Bob in a while but wasn't going to say anything.* VProwl ((it's a good one to include.)) *oh this part* Windchill I was created towards the end of the golden age, if that answers your question. That's all I know. ItsyBitsySpyers [[Approximately how insulting is "Judgy"? To the average judge you might've known.]] Windchill *Would poke but can't risk his remaining hand.* Swoop *has absolutely no interest in Windchill's answer and digs ducks his chin behind his knees* *is curled up into quite the irritated ball with his wings held close* Windchill You okay, Swoop? *Well, he's obviously not but he'll give him an opportunity to do...whatever it is he's gotta do.* *Blue, for her part, suffers no feelings of sympathy and continues eating smugly.* VProwl All the judges I knew were Golden Age ladder-climbers awarded the positions by people far more powerful than them, and wanted to act like they'd always been there. So, extremely. ItsyBitsySpyers [[He understands.]] *Pause.* [[He will be sure to use it if ever he meets them.]] VProwl To be fair, I knew four. ItsyBitsySpyers *Soundwave watches Windchill and Swoop now and then, in the slow moments of the show. Not that there are many.* *Small feeler wiggle.* [[Rather catchy.]] Prowl Delightful. *huffs* VProwl *kind of shrill.* ItsyBitsySpyers [[He must remember to ask if Tarantulas spends much time sitting on human scalps.]] Windchill *PBBBT sound over Swoop's head.* VProwl Not if that's the kind of treatment he'd get. Prowl The dancer was decently skilled for what they were doing. ItsyBitsySpyers *Makes one of the little honk-hoot noises himself.* VProwl *huff.* *HUFF.* ItsyBitsySpyers [[He doesn't see the judge's problem. Trials would be far more entertaining with live re-enactments.]] VProwl Unfortunately, that's not the objective of trials. ItsyBitsySpyers [[Perhaps with more skilled and sensible actors than these.]] [[There were people behind the gate. They are clearly an audience.]] Windchill *Isn't convinced.* VProwl They're not there to be entertained. ItsyBitsySpyers [[They can't /all/ be victims.]] Windchill *With this group, they could all be victims shortly* VProwl That doesn't mean they don't have a some other interest in seeing how the trial goes. Swoop *swats at Windchill when he blows raspberries near him and sneers* Windchill *This is how Windchill reacts to achieving anything. He relates.* *His hand is now freed, at least.* VProwl Acquaintances of the defendant or victim. News reporters. Et cetera. ItsyBitsySpyers [[Hmm. Accepted.]] Windchill There's no reason to hit, Swoop. Swoop *chatters irritably* Windchill You wanna sit up here with us? Blue can share her snacks. Swoop NO VProwl ... That's very suspicious evidence. ItsyBitsySpyers [[Spies?]] Windchill You're just going to sit on the floor? VProwl Oh! Duck Soup! Swoop *nods with an pursed expression* Windchill *His ear flicks, he glances up...and already knows this isn't the kind of spying he's going to acknowledge.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Sits up. Points at the one with a face on the other side.* [[Counterpunch.]]

[[And does it count as evidence if it was part of a different piece of evidence and not submitted on its own?]] Windchill Okay. *He'll keep an optic on Swoop, then.* ItsyBitsySpyers [[He is having flashbacks to the early days.]] VProwl Mm. Earth laws. *Marx Bros is on, he doesn't realize that doesn't anser the question.* Windchill *He sits back like a normal person again, and crosses a leg over his knee since his feet aren't being held hostage anymore.* Swoop *holds his own toes and chews on his knee guard* ItsyBitsySpyers *Puffing repeatedly at all the scissor tricks.* [[That poor human has come up a little short in the end.]] VProwl *at this point is, just, faintly trembling at the whole scene.* Windchill Wow. VProwl *however he is very nearly managing to keep a straight face.* ItsyBitsySpyers *But only very nearly.* VProwl *indeed* ItsyBitsySpyers [[New and 2nd Hand clothes. This is a glove shop?]] Windchill *Glares at the spelling on these windows.* VProwl *SNORT.* "Altercations." Swoop *mumbles to himself, whether words happen is debatable* Windchill What's wrong with you Swoop? ItsyBitsySpyers *HAH* Windchill *As in you Swoop, not you, Swoop. An important distinction.* Swoop *snarls at Windchill* NOTHING ItsyBitsySpyers [[...Calm down, Swoop.]] Windchill Okay. Swoop *kicks his legs out in front of himself then immediately changes his stompy little mind and curls back up* ItsyBitsySpyers *The last thing he wants on the night before he heads off for a while is a Dinobot temper tantrum.* VProwl *is sadly unable to appreciate this innovative cooking technique.* ItsyBitsySpyers *It looks fine to him* Swoop *stomps his heels because he can* ItsyBitsySpyers *He never knew human armor could be so troublesome.* VProwl ... Just weigh them down on either end. *he says, knowing that he won't.* HAH! *manages to get a hand over his mouth before the second smack* *and it barely holds on the third.* Windchill You want to go outside, Swoop? Swoop NO *mumbles* no no no Windchill Okay. What do you want to do? ItsyBitsySpyers *Soundwave is somewhat leaned on Prowl for support after that whole clothes on a table bit.*

*He still doesn't know what's going on with Swoop - he could, if he searched Swoop's mind, but that's not a thing he's going to do in present company - but it's not ending in fire and Windchill took it on himself t find out, so. He'll simply listen.* Swoop *throws himself on the floor belly first with an irritated HUFF* Windchill You want to lie there and act out? Swoop NO Windchill *That's his job.* Then maybe you should stop. Swoop NO NO NO Windchill Then what are you going to do instead? ItsyBitsySpyers *Huff.* Swoop *pushes his cheek to the floor and mumbles* no no no no no Windchill *Sighs a little.* VProwl *SNORT. from behind hand:* They're terrible at math. Windchill Okay, you can be miserable on the floor if that's what you want. Swoop *lets out an angry squack at Windchill* Windchill Getting angry at me isn't going to make it better. I'm ignoring you now. Swoop *flails enough to awkwardly roll over and cross his arms AT windchill* Windchill *Doesn't make eye contact. He's watching the show.* Swoop *grows increasingly scowl-y until he kicks Windchill's shin* Windchill You're going to get kicked out. ItsyBitsySpyers *Nope. Soundwave opens a bridge right under him.* Swoop *FWOOP no more swoop* ItsyBitsySpyers [[He apologizes for that.]] Windchill *Rubs an eyebrow tiredly.* What happened to Bob? ItsyBitsySpyers [[He does not know. Bob disappeared, and nobody has heard from them. Not even him.]] [[Laserbeak tells him the assumption is that Bob is dead.]] VProwl *oh, MORE duck soup.* *in preparation of this scene, he's just, gonna, put his elbows on his knees and very casually lace his hands in front of his mouth.* Windchill Ah. *That's barely new information.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Well, he's been busy, and it's hard to update what's known when nothing new appears.* Windchill *He'll deal with it later.* ItsyBitsySpyers [[That one does not talk here either?]] VProwl He doesn't talk at all. ... He plays instruments, though. ItsyBitsySpyers [[That one is now his favorite. And also the most entertaining.]] VProwl *hffff.* *he's just, trembling. for the rest of the scene.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Brightens. He knows what's going to happen next time the horn-- yep.* Windchill *Covers his mouth and tries really hard to not think about penises.* VProwl *ahhhh okay. give him a second. he's recovering.* Windchill *It was a mighty effort.* *But he failed.* VProwl ... There's more than one lemonade scene. ItsyBitsySpyers *Doesn't know enough about human biology to think or not think about them.*

[[More than one?]] VProwl Yes, they harass him at least one more time. Windchill *Points* Horse. Prowl *this dancing is disappointing* ItsyBitsySpyers *Cringes at that last note* Windchill This is the saddest rendition of this song I've ever heard. ItsyBitsySpyers *Points at the bike.* [[Bicycle.]] [[And he did not know they did. If he had, he would have added that to the list. He will search for it in the future.]] Windchill *Waits for something to point at.* Prowl Is there anything with better dancing on your list? ItsyBitsySpyers [[Not that he knows of. He assumes the terrible dancing is meant to be humorous.]] Prowl It's not. VProwl *... the dancing looks fine to him. but what does he know.* Windchill *Blue snags another snack and pops it in her mouth, chews vigorously...and makes a hideous 'GROSS' face.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Spots that face.* [[Don't you dare spit that out.]] Windchill *Windchill looks down to see what the problem is. Oh.* *Blue keeps chewing and making the nasty face.* Prowl *huffs* Windchill *Chill offers a hand for her to spit it out in, but she recoils and writhes to get away. She REFUSES. It's in her mouth, she's going to EAT IT.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Brave spark* Windchill Stubborn. *He looks up to announce this proudly.* ItsyBitsySpyers [[.../Dozens?/]] Windchill *Points.* Mule. And dog. *Covers his mouth.* *Blue pats her own face, because she has to do like dad do.* ItsyBitsySpyers [[He... he just dropped that on the chickens...]] Windchill Reminds me of Megatron. VProwl Well. They were going to eat them anyway. ItsyBitsySpyers [[They said nothing about pancakes.]] VProwl What are pancakes? Windchill Oh NO. ItsyBitsySpyers [[Flat foods. He has seen them on human cooking shows at Smokescreen's movie nights.]] Windchill OH NO. ItsyBitsySpyers [[When someone carves holes into them, they become wattles.]] Windchill *Blinks.* *Well, the animals are okay so he's fine with it.* VProwl *doesn't know what wattles are either, but okay.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Neither does he, really. That's just what he learned.* Windchill *Bluebottle grabs another snack, the same approximate colour as the last one.* VProwl ... Earth money doesn't form naturally in the ground like that. *he says. dubiously. like he's not really sure.* Windchill They say it grows on trees. Or... Doesn't grow on trees? Prowl *cringes* Windchill *Damn it, he doesn't remember.* ItsyBitsySpyers [[If it does, then it does form naturally in the ground. Doesn't it?]] Windchill *Points.* Horses. ItsyBitsySpyers *Huffing at the statue riding* VProwl Remarkably low center of gravity and low coefficient of friction on that statue. Windchill *He's distracted by horses, and fails to notice what's happening in his lap until it's too late.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Looks at Prowl. What?* Windchill *Bluebottle CHUCKS the treat in her hand across the room in vengeance.* *Windchill's head whips around so fast it nearly comes clean off.* VProwl *looks back at Soundwave. What?* Windchill Young lady. ItsyBitsySpyers *Snaps a feeler out to grab that. Regrets it.* [[...Ugh.]] *Gently deposits that in the bin behind the bar.* [[What were you saying, Prowl?]] Windchill *Tries not to laugh.* My apologies. *He's gonna move the snacks out of her reach and give them to her one by one, now. She can't be trusted.* ItsyBitsySpyers [[Oh dear.]] *That's money owed.* VProwl Nothing. *there's a new skit on.* Windchill *Looks a little bit bewildered by this.* That was too real. ItsyBitsySpyers [[Perhaps they should consult a phone book.]] VProwl He needs to stop putting hats on. Windchill Look at all of that delicate earthenware. ItsyBitsySpyers [[...Wait.]] Prowl *huffs* VProwl *shoulders tremble* Windchill *Wipes away a secret tear.* ItsyBitsySpyers [[He looks very good for a fleshling crushed from fifteen stories.]] Windchill *He feels like this is what happens whenever he meets someone new, too.* Called it. ItsyBitsySpyers [[...It must be a very terrible company.]] Windchill There should be a proper investigation into this hat company thing. *Vents.* Prowl Indeed. VProwl Q-quite terrible. Windchill *Points* Horse. Eheheheh. ItsyBitsySpyers [[What a horrible fate.]] Windchill I could use some of that. VProwl Well, they could stand to cool their heads a bit. ItsyBitsySpyers *Appreciative ping.*

[[We do not carry ice here. He will not apologize for that.]] Windchill Do you want me to bring you some? ItsyBitsySpyers [[Absolutely not.]] Windchill Okay then, more for me. VProwl ... Is that the same staircase from the piano skit? ItsyBitsySpyers [[Piano skit?]] *Looks at Prowl.* [[Have you seen these?]] [[Hah. The perfect fate for ice.]] VProwl Not this. Another skit by Laurel and Hardy. They have to carry a piano up a staircase like that. ItsyBitsySpyers [[Who is Laurelandhardy?]] VProwl Laurel. Hardy. Two other slapstick performers. Windchill It's fine. ItsyBitsySpyers [[A little adhesive...]] Windchill A little spit. It'll freeze right over. ItsyBitsySpyers [[He did not know of their existence. He would have added them.]] *Makes a note to search for them in the future.* *Prowl sitting on his lap is always a fine time.* [[...Has this human never heard of a box.]] VProwl *shoulders tremble* Windchill They're gonna have to. VProwl *run, human* Windchill Put him on ice. ItsyBitsySpyers *Oh that was DELIGHTFUL* *Exclamation point and blip.* Prowl *huffs* Windchill *Gives his best witch cackle.* VProwl ... I don't think that's a dash. ItsyBitsySpyers *Faint wheezing noise coming from his vents.* *That would be his fans having trouble keeping up.* VProwl *doesn't know enough about cooking to get half these jokes, but trembling from the ones he does.* Windchill *He's not going to say anything, He swears to himself he's not.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Soundwave watched several seasons of Chopped and Cutthroat Kitchen and gets more of them, but absolutely believes there's a zipper.* *Also sees nothing wrong with the hose.* Windchill This party looks awful. ItsyBitsySpyers [[It is on the sedate side. But that can be soothing at times.]] Windchill It's almost as bad as if they'd invited me. *'Cept he'd be wrecking the place on purpose, let's be real.* VProwl There's certainly a spring in his step. ItsyBitsySpyers *NUDGES* VProwl *what* ItsyBitsySpyers *He liked that one.* Windchill *HE'S NOT GOING TO SAY ANYTHING.* *There's no one to appreciate his filthy comments.* VProwl *LAUGHS* ItsyBitsySpyers *STARTLES A TAD BIT* Windchill *Shakes his head.* That's how I want to go out. ItsyBitsySpyers [[Tumbling down a staircase?]] Windchill Or exploding. I'm not picky. *Spaces out a little. Numbers.* VProwl ... This is terrible. *he says, delighted.* ItsyBitsySpyers [[The employer should be punished.]] *Also trembling a bit.* VProwl Absolutely. ItsyBitsySpyers [[He has two mouths?]] ((there's one long and one short one left)) VProwl "Having another mouth to feed" is a human euphemism for having another person dependent upon your income to eat. ItsyBitsySpyers [[Ah. Then why was the other one upset? Earth fish must eat.]] VProwl Usually it's used to talk about another another /human/ person dependent upon your income. ItsyBitsySpyers [[How selfish.]] Windchill Eh. VProwl *an episode about TRYING to get arrested?* Windchill It's not unusual. Ehehehe. ItsyBitsySpyers [[None of that. We had enough of mechs attempting to replicate that prank during business hours after Rumble spread the Pussycat skit.]] Windchill *He passes the final treat to Blue, who eats it whilst kicking her feet.* Windchill ...Did they break it? ItsyBitsySpyers [[Solitary refinement.]] Windchill *Sputters at "refinement."* ItsyBitsySpyers [[For the elegant criminal in your life.]] VProwl To clean up his act. Windchill I think that's called a hermitage. ItsyBitsySpyers *Shaking.* [[He clocked him.]] VProwl *sideways smile at Soundwave* Heh! Windchill I'd...Yeah. Prowl *perks, dancing?* Windchill Looks complicated. VProwl *Thanks to Prowl's HUD, his alternate gets an opportunity to learn that when Prowl's looking at Soundwave when he says something Prowl likes, a helpful label pops up point at Soundwave that says "<3"* *very precise mathematical notations here* Prowl *.......................* VProwl ((discord i didn't ask you to turn that less than three into a flurry of hearts but it's cute so i'll leave it)) ItsyBitsySpyers *Soundwave knows enough about human clothing to blip LOUDLY* Prowl *huffs* VProwl *thinks her skirt just turned into a shorter skirt. doesn't see the problem.* ItsyBitsySpyers *The things you learn when you've spent time around mechs that like to replicate fleshling clothes on a large scale, inconvenient though it may be.* Windchill *Snickers.* ItsyBitsySpyers [[Tearing up the dance floor.]] Windchill Pffft. Prowl Ha. VProwl .... They're using their sewing skills. I didn't know their skits had internal continuity. ItsyBitsySpyers [[She floored him.]] VProwl Soundwave! ItsyBitsySpyers [[Neither did he. They must go through many jobs. And conjunxes.]]

[[...What?]] VProwl *............ affection ping.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Ohhhhh. He sees.*

*He sends one back. Plus one.* ((I'M DYING)) Prowl *enjoying this bit immensely* ItsyBitsySpyers ((i missed that line the first time i watched this)) Windchill The mating call. VProwl ((now that's a fashion statement.)) ... How many shoes do they have? ItsyBitsySpyers [[Several. They pre-paired for just such an occasion.]] Prowl That was enjoyable. Windchill *Smacks his lips.* VProwl *takes him a moment.* ... SOUND—! Prowl *her doors tremble slightly* VProwl *just. hides his face.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Never let a Soundwave know your weaknesses.* Windchill *He's survived thus far.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Well, he doesn't want Windchill on his lap.* *Also, it's rude to murder your guests.* Windchill *This is fair.* VProwl *if THESE are the weaknesses he exploits, Prowl can live with that.* Windchill *Furrows his brows.* Prowl *liked the dancing one better* Windchill *Stretches down to his pointy toes.* *Blue stretches too.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Soundwave opens his vents all the way and fluffs his armor out a little to help get rid of some of the heat from contained laughter and slowly slumps in Prowl's direction.* [[An excellent night's entertainment.]]

*No damned needles or mind control, for once.* VProwl Indeed. *his elbows are still on his knees. he is a rock. he can support soundwave's slumping.* Prowl *ends both feeds, no need to see more <3 since there's nothing else to watch* ItsyBitsySpyers *Not that it's hard, since he weighs just about nothing.*

[[Thank you three for joining him.]] *Has no idea the other Prowl has been seeing <3 * Windchill *He hoists his spawn to his shoulder, only to get patted fondly on the eyeball for it.* Prowl *"I'll never tell~"* VProwl Thank you for hosting. Windchill I'm starting to think that visors are the right idea. Prowl Yes, thank you, Soundwave. ItsyBitsySpyers *Starts to formulate a thought picking on his timeline's Prowl and prevention of optic damage. Decides to be good. Just for tonight.* VProwl *doesn't even realize he has exposed his Terrible Secret.* Prowl *knows things now she never wanted to know, has an eidetic memory thanks to her memory system... will never forget these things* ItsyBitsySpyers [[They're subject to handprints, as with any other glass-like material.]] Prowl Also breakage. ItsyBitsySpyers *Which they normally would not have, but, well, smeary youngling.* Windchill Better that than getting my eye poked out. It's happened before. ItsyBitsySpyers [[Would you say that you have learned this in hindsight?]] Windchill .... *Considers this.* *Just kind of gives Soundwave a look.* ItsyBitsySpyers *With both eyes intact, one hopes. Nobody likes staring into an empty socket.* Windchill You don't have to call me out like this. Prowl *...rude* ItsyBitsySpyers [[How would you prefer he call you out?]] Windchill *Both eyes are intact at the moment, for the record.* Prowl I suppose slapstick humor has its moments. I wasn't certain I would enjoy a brand of comedy that involved so much violence. Windchill I wouldn't. *He sticks out his tongue, because he's joking.* ItsyBitsySpyers [[We can't always have what we want.]] Windchill You're telling me. *He turns his spawn around, pointing a claw at Soundwave to get her attention in the hopes that maybe, someday, she'll turn out better than her dad did.* Can you thank Soundwave for your snacks? VProwl It's essentially the only form of violence I find enjoyable. It helps that it seems to be so... non-permanent. ItsyBitsySpyers *Waits curiously to see what the Worm does.* Prowl That does help. Windchill *Blue blinks impassively at Soundwave, but appears to consider it before violently shaking her head.* *Chill scoffs.* Prowl *could have done with less fingers being jammed into eyes though, eugh* ItsyBitsySpyers [[Of course it's non-permanent. Poking optics out can't be amusing anymore if you haven't left yourself any to poke.]] *Soundwave places a shocked smiley on his face.* [[That terrible, were they? Well, never mind. He will have different ones for you next time, youngling.]] VProwl *that's the most sociopathic argument against causing grievous bodily harm he's ever heard. he's almost impressed.* Windchill *Blue sticks her own foot in her mouth to get out of saying anything to anyone.* VProwl *he's also not going to say that out loud.* Windchill She liked them, she's just being an anti-social butt. Like me. Prowl Maybe for you. ItsyBitsySpyers *He's merely saying you can't make a career off of it if you use up all your material in the first skit.* *But yes, probably best keep that to himself.* [[Has she considered a visor?]] Windchill *He bounces the worm, and stands.* A visor? ItsyBitsySpyers [[No need to make eye contact and socialize with anyone else if they can't see hers.]] Windchill I'm sure it will occur to her when someone tries to poke her eye out. *He gives his spawn a pointed look, and she grins around her own foot. She knows exactly what's being said, here.* ItsyBitsySpyers [[Very well.]] [[Until then, he will impersonate a doctor and prescribe rest for most of the room's current inhabitants.]] Windchill We'll sleep when we're dead. *Or the moment they get home, whichever.* Thanks for the snacks. *He clicks, trying to get Worm attention again.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Nods.* VProwl *mumbles* Class B misdemeanor. Windchill Can you say goodbye to everyone? *Blue sucks loudly on her foot before pulling it out of her mouth, yells "BAH!" and puts it right back where she found it.* ...I'll take what I can get. ItsyBitsySpyers [[Goodbye.]]

*And though Prowl can't see it, glancing over in secret.*

@P: [[He supposes asking how to get you to forgive that would be bribing an officer of the law.]] Windchill All right then, we're going. It's about time someone yanked her carrier's visor off and punched him in the eye again, yeah? *He nods knowingly at his worm, who wiggles back.* Yeah. VProwl @S «It would be. So it had better be a very /impressive/ one.» Windchill *They turn to leave, and Chill waves nonchalantly over his shoulder.* Bye, suckers. *He'll deposit the baby at home...and check on Swoop.* VProwl @S «... But for the record, once the humorous flirting is done, I don't want this scenario to actually carry on into any sort of bedroom roleplay. Bribery is a turn off.» VProwl ((CRO HAS FALLEN. I, PUFF--)) ((oh hey there cro)) ItsyBitsySpyers ((GIMME THAT CROWN)) ((this was great comedy)) ItsyBitsySpyers *Soundwave experiences a brief glitch, probably from overheating, and shakes his helm a little. He'll have to get that circuit checked.*

@P: [[No, no. He knows you do not like actual roleplay. Mm, but one moment.]] VProwl @S «All right.» ItsyBitsySpyers *Soundwave glances over at the Prowl from his world and performs the mental equivalent of clearing his throat.*

[[He apologizes, but he must close down for the night. He trusts you can see yourself out.]]

*He pauses for a second, and decides that even though it was unintentional, he'd better not put notice on that remark.* Prowl *she's already standing up and pauses at the word choice before deciding it's not... really worth making a fuss over* VProwl *gives soundwave a look. soundwave you can't just say that. soundwave was that unintentional.* ItsyBitsySpyers @P: [[He didn't mean it that way.]] VProwl @S «Good.» Prowl Soundwave. Captain. *nods to them... and sends a <3 to them both before leaving* ItsyBitsySpyers *Soundwave sits up SUPER STRAIGHT at the heart from his world's Prowl and looks somewhat alarmed* VProwl *startles. what? what??? that's forward. how. what. huh.* Prowl *follows it up with a ping to the other Prowl indicating it was a joke* ItsyBitsySpyers *STARING AT HER AS SHE LEAVES* VProwl *IT'S A VERY CONFUSING JOKE THAT HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND.* *manages to get out a word that might be "evening," if we're interpreting the pronunciation very liberally* Prowl *will let you both figure that out* VProwl *did he just get flirted at* ItsyBitsySpyers *WHAT DID HE DO TO DESERVE SUCH PUNISHMENT. IT WAS UNINTENTIONAL. UNINTENTIONAL, DAMN IT!* VProwl *is fairly confident he did* Prowl *...no? yes... we just don't know* *she's gone either way* ItsyBitsySpyers *Turns to look at Prowl.* [[Did you switch frequencies with--?]] VProwl *Turns to look back at.* What? No, I haven't switched any frequencies. ... Has she ever asked about me? Or—said anything about me? ItsyBitsySpyers [[...About you? Why about you? He was going to ask if she ever-- why are /you/ asking that?]] VProwl ... Why are /you/ going to ask something? ItsyBitsySpyers [[She just sent him a <3 .]] *You'd think that would be a word, but no. It's an imagined image of bubbling hearts.* VProwl ... She sent /me/ one. And a humor ping. *slowly, with the sort of tone of baffled horror and borderline disbelief that would typically be reserved for questions about, for example, Megatron raising dread Cthulhu:* Are we... being flirted with? ItsyBitsySpyers [[Perhaps?]] *His lights dim, then return to their normal state briefly before dimming again.* [[He does not know if this is horrifying or fascinating.]] VProwl What—What's the next step? The ball's in our court. Do we—I don't know how things work in your universe, are we supposed to jump straight to proposing a threesome or are we supposed to go on a few dates first? I've never been on a three-person date in any other roll but the third wheel. ItsyBitsySpyers *Stares right at Prowl and sort of twirls a hand helpless-like.*

[[Do not look at him. There's almost never been more than one mech brave enough to be interested in him at a time.]] VProwl Well. Just your luck, you got duplicates. ItsyBitsySpyers [[At least he is no longer the only one to earn his alternate's interest.]] [[...It could be an Autobot plot. Dates first.]] ItsyBitsySpyers [[Many dates. With extensive interrogations.]] VProwl An Aut— If it was an Autobot plot, she wouldn't be putting her own body on the line. She'd send—I don't know—somebody broadly considered conventionally attractive. ... Like Skids. ItsyBitsySpyers [[Nonsense. She already begins at a disadvantage because of the war history. She can't hope to compete against what he's been told about that mech's learning abilities.]] VProwl Exactly. If she wanted to seduce us, she'd send him. He has a far, FAR better chance of success. ItsyBitsySpyers [[Too successful. He'd never look at her.]] VProwl Why would we need to look at her if Skids is playing the spy role? ItsyBitsySpyers *...Click.* [[Wait. Do you consider Skids attractive?]] VProwl ............ I /said/ he's broadly considered conventionally attractive. You said she wouldn't hope to compete with him, do YOU? ItsyBitsySpyers *Hears ALL that hesitation. Lifts a finger and gently shakes it at Prowl. In a caught-you way, not an angry way.*

[[You could have left it at [][][]broadly considered conventionally attractive.[][][] He would have understood. And you said you didn't know, but you did know.]] ItsyBitsySpyers [[He reserves the right to find the idea of great intelligence appealing. Especially when it isn't tied to a mech he dislikes, like Rewind.]] VProwl I /don't/ know, I'm just—guessing. I'm giving an example of who /I'd/ send on a—a seduction mission. *huffs. behold: the rare flustered Prowl.* ItsyBitsySpyers [[Rather a roundabout way of having him ask you out, isn't it?]] *Light shoulder shaking.* VProwl *snaps up straight.* I would NEVER abuse my rank like that. *don't be fooled: the defensiveness is less about the implied rank abuse and more about the needling about Skids.* *also: failed to deny that he might want to be asked out.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Soundwave leans back and lifts the hand he was waggling a little bit ago, palm out, in a peaceful gesture.*

[[He apologizes. He thought you understood he would never think so poorly of you in reality. Besides, he's now admitted to being intrigued by the intellects of two other Autobots. It seemed even.]] [[If he has offended you, he is sorry.]] VProwl *grumble. once he gets the grumbling out of his system it'll be fine.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Lets the palm fall to his lap and vents quietly. Well. That put a bit of a damper on things. Note to himself: Prowl's refusal to speak of who he finds attractive extends to those with whom he's already involved.* VProwl *in Skids's case, it's a matter of protectiveness.* ... So. Hhhow do we proceed. ItsyBitsySpyers *Oh?* Yesterday VProwl Dates, then...? ItsyBitsySpyers [[...Seeing as it is impossible to know how long the access point between timelines will remain open, it is probably a good idea to avoid the Petrex way, even if that is where you are from. And he does not think he should be the one to suggest them. It - might not go as well. Old resentments.]]

[[You responded well to bluntness. He expects she will too.]] ItsyBitsySpyers *When a spy that used to work for the enemy comes up to you and says, "Hey, would you like to go somewhere private with me, where nobody else could possibly interrupt us?" it just doesn't turn out okay.* VProwl I—don't remember the last time I ever asked someone out on a date that I wasn't already dating. Rank issues. *and socialization issues, but, eh.* ItsyBitsySpyers [[That is one good thing about the multiverse.]] *Thought in ALL seriousness.* [[Ranks and sides do not matter as much in a completely different universe.]]

[[It is simple enough. Approach, tell her the advance is accepted, and ask where she would like to proceed from there.]] [[Acknowledgment without having to make the first plans or decisions yourself.]] VProwl ... All right. Sounds simple enough. Hm. I'll report my progress to you later. ItsyBitsySpyers [[Thank you.]]

[[By the way, he accepts and is curious about your earlier displays of affection. Would you like to find other ways to show it before he leaves on vacation?]] VProwl *......... slides back onto Soundwave's lap.* Absolutely. ItsyBitsySpyers *Detaches his mask with one hand and offers Prowl a sharp, sharp smile.*

[[Excellent.]]

*The rest is for no optics but their own.*

#chat

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