#I listened to the Christmas special of the latter last night and they did a SONG about lol Rudyard wants to come in

[friend-through-teenage-nights]

I love men in independently made audio comedy where the other characters are just like "it wouldn't be awful if he suffered for a little bit".

[talesofesther]

sweet calamity | ch 9

Wednesday Addams x Reader

Series Summary: It was something people described as the sweetest pain, the feeling of when the soul that’s destined to find yours is closer to you. Wednesday saw it as a curse, promised herself she would hate whoever was chosen for her; but it’s easier said than done.

A/N: Softest Wednesday ever and I hope she's not too out of character lol (but cut her some slack, girl's in love c'mon). Was listening to this while writing. <3

Masterlist | Read ch 8 here

"So here's something interesting that happened last night," Enid started, teasing hinting at her tone.

You gripped a little tighter onto the straps of your backpack.

"I get back from my date with Ajax, and Wednesday greets me with a goodnight, even asking if my date was enjoyable."

You hummed at her words, kicking a pebble from the stone path you were walking on. Last night's snowfall left its mark on the gardens, white snowflakes were still clinging to some of the trees around you; there was frost on the grass; mist in the air. The scenery was worthy of a painting.

"Why is that interesting?" You eventually asked.

"She never asks me about my dates," Enid exclaimed, "like ever." Taking hold of both your arms, the werewolf stopped you in your tracks and came to stand before you, forcing you to look up at her.

"She looked happy. Unusually happy," Enid narrowed her eyes at you, wolfish grin on her lips, "did something happen while I was out?"

Sometimes, Enid was too smart for her own good. You wanted to share her enthusiasm, tell her all about last night — how hearing Wednesday play gave you goosebumps, how her lips left you breathless — yet you found yourself hesitating. Everything felt too fragile.

You chuckled humourlessly, squirming under her hold. You could feel your face heating up, "nothing happened, we just hung out for a while."

Enid audibly groaned as she rolled her eyes, "come on, I saw you two dancing at the Rave'n, didn't you finally admit your obvious love for each other?"

You frowned, lips hovering open as you connected the dots, feeling your stomach lurch with apprehension. You answered her question with another, that you felt you already knew the answer to; "was that your doing by any chance?"

"Of course," Enid told you animatedly, "Wednesday was giving me her usual 'I don't do feelings' speech and hurting both you and herself in the process, I had to talk some sense into her," she scrunched her brows, taking on a serious tone, "don't tell her I said that though."

"Oh," you breathed. You're not sure why it bothers you. To think Wednesday would do something against her will was foolish, at best; but the last thing you wanted was for her to feel like she has to be with you.

"So," Enid dragged the word, pink cheeks molded by her pinkier snood, "no special moments last night?"

"W-well, we-" you stumbled, "I mean, she-"

"Enid!"

You closed your eyes and breathed out a sigh of relief upon hearing Wednesday's voice. She walked up to you and Enid with haste, backpack held by one shoulder, scarf snug around her neck, and her black beanie pushing down her bangs. She looked worthy of a painting too.

"Wednesday," Enid turned to her best friend, bouncing on her heels with glee, "we were just talking about you."

"Thrilling," the Addams girl deadpanned, glancing between you and Enid before settling on the latter, "I'll need my partner back now."

To say Enid lit up like a damn Christmas tree would be an understatement. Your heartbeat skyrocketed at the words too, before you remembered what exactly she was talking about.

Enid emitted some kind of excited noise — undoubtedly already planning your wedding; "your partn-"

"We're partners in fencing," you cut her off before she could create a scene you probably wouldn't be able to escape too soon. After your little incident with Bianca, Wednesday made sure no one but she was partnered up with you in fencing. How she accomplished that, you preferred not to know. And if anyone as much as whispered about her going easy on you when sparring, they'd receive the complete opposite treatment.

"Yes, and class started two minutes ago," Wednesday said, pointedly raising an eyebrow at you and your lack of time management.

You mouthed a sorry to her, offering a soft smile.

"You guys are no fun," Enid mumbled to herself, hugging her sweater closer to her body.

Cold air bit at your fingertips and you stuffed your hands in your pockets. Part of you could sympathize with Enid's frustration, you and Wednesday have been dancing around each other for a while, and then she finally kisses you and… and now you find yourself holding back, afraid to let your guard down.

You're still not sure what to call what she is to you. It's not like you and Wednesday are the epitome of healthy communication.

It's almost like she feels your discomfort, "let's go, I don't like waiting," Wednesday grumbled, half extending her hand out for you, giving you the chance to choose whether to take it or not.

The way you were so quick to reach for her was second nature, softly taking her hand in yours. "See you later, Enid."

"Bye lovebirds," the werewolf sweetly said, starting to walk in the opposite direction, "don't forget what we talked about yesterday, Wednesday."

"How could I? You've hammered the idea into my brain," Wednesday huffed, but Enid was already out of earshot, which left only you to grin at her words.

It was new and fragile, but maybe also just the way it was supposed to be. Maybe it was simpler than your overthinking self made it out to be — you were focused on your feet, trusting Wednesday to lead your way with her hand securely around yours.

The comfortable silence stretched for a few moments, until you reached the end of the gardens and walked inside Nevermore's walls. It felt nice to feel normal for a change; two normal girls too shy and too in love to meet each other's eyes.

"Your hands are frigid," Wednesday broke the silence, absentmindedly brushing her thumb along your skin.

You chuckled under your breath, feeling the familiar swelling of your heart, "I keep forgetting my gloves."

You refrained from groaning when the doors to the fencing arena came into sight. Before you could push them open, Wednesday pulled you to a stop. You glanced up at her curiously; only to see her cheeks an unusual shade of pink, her jaw set tightly in place, eyes strangely a tad too wide. It's rare the times that you can visibly tell what she's feeling.

You curse the way your heart automatically expects the worst, and hold your breath.

"I was-" Wednesday tried, before averting her gaze from yours and inhaling deeply, "I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me this evening."

She spoke so quickly you almost didn't catch the words fully, but you did; and it sure felt that simple. "I'd love to."

Wednesday nodded stiffly at your answer and all but burst through the doors.

———

It takes some getting used to. Sometimes the turmoil of emotions that you make Wednesday feel gets her nauseous; she thinks she resembles a babbling idiot whenever she tries to mimic what she sees the other couples do — to say she's inexperienced in the area is a huge understatement; she's trying though, in her own way, but she is.

After a day of classes that kept her mostly away from you, Wednesday was making her way to the greenhouse, the place where she knows she'll find you. And she could feel that sensation — pumping through her body with each frantic beat of her heart the closer she gets to you — the tightness on her chest, the turning of her stomach. It's nearly painful. Dangerously addicting.

The evening sun had made its appearance, soft rays seeping through the glass walls as Wednesday pushed open the door. It was quiet, eerily so. No students were around, thankfully. She realized you liked your own dose of solitude too, it's not the first time she's found you hidden away all by yourself in the greenhouse.

Wednesday was quiet as she made her way inside, preserving your space.

You were standing in front of one of the tables when she found you, eyes focused solemnly on the flower pot in front of you as you hummed a song unknown to Wednesday. Blissfully unaware of her watchful gaze on you.

Your hands were delicate with their movements, making life bloom from your fingertips; there was a ray of sun casting over your cheek and lips — Wednesday envied the pesky thing.

You pushed back a strand of loose hair, smiling faintly when you got on your tip toes to put the flower back up on the shelf, a sea of green and gold around you.

Wednesday suddenly felt the back of her eyes burning faintly; because she refused to blink or something else, she was not sure.

But she's looking at you as if she just realized what love is.

And she could love you if she wanted to. If you allowed her to.

She thinks she already does anyway.

It's unlike anything she ever expected or wanted to feel — it's pain and bliss altogether — because she had the sudden need to be closer, to hold you, touch you; otherwise she'd spiral into madness.

And so she did.

You jumped when you felt two hands grasping at your waist, sharply turning around to see whoever thought had the right to touch you like that; yet any unkind words that were ready to leave your tongue disappeared when you were met with a pair of twin black braids you were all too familiar with.

Your skin is instantly littered with goosebumps. Wednesday's hands were firm on your waist, her thumbs barely sneaking under your shirt and grazing the skin there.

Before you could even try to speak, she was shutting you up with a searing kiss. It was different from last night; she pushed herself to you, desperate in the way her lips moved with yours — as if you hadn't seen each other in six years instead of six hours.

You took only a moment to recover, grasping at her blazer with your hands and embracing anything she'd be willing to give you.

Her lips were still as plush and warm as you remembered them, as you knew you'd never be able to forget.

Wednesday pulled back when air became an annoying necessity, all soft eyes and swollen lips. Her hands still gripping your waist, gaze darting to the mouth she'd just kissed only to see you gulp and look at your feet; away from her.

"Is this acceptable?" Wednesday found herself asking, voice raspier than usual, puffs of air coming out shallow and ragged as she regarded you with worry.

"Yeah," you were quick to breathe out, bringing one hand up and hesitating only a second before gingerly touching Wednesday's cheek, your thumb tracing the lines of her bottom lip. "More than acceptable."

"But?" The raven-haired girl raised a brow.

"I just-" you could feel your heartbeat, and wondered if she could feel it too, "I don't want to force you into anything, Wednesday." You gave her a melancholic smile, "I want to make sure you don't feel like you have to be doing this," you motioned with your hand between you and her, and she was so close you could barely breathe at all.

Wednesday's eyes shuttered with a sudden blankness and nothing could prepare you for the utterly adorable look of confusion on her face that followed; eyebrows pinching together and lips turned down at the corners as she pulled back only to look at you better.

"Never in my life would I do something I do not want to do," she said matter of factly.

You bit into your lip, one hand taking hold of Wednesday's braid so you had something to fidget with.

Straightening her posture, Wednesday gulped back her pride; "I'm not… good at this," she shook her head softly, her sudden fragility surprising you, "any of it."

And you finally see it; you see it in the way her eyes lose their sharp edges, how impossibly darker they are, shining under the fading sun; you see it in the way she insisted on holding your hand even when curious glances were thrown at you; you see it in the way she doesn't let anyone else spar with you in fencing or the way she always has an extra set of notes whenever you miss a class; you see it in the way she came after you and didn't give up even after you pushed her away. You see the way she's been loving you from day one, even if both of you didn't admit it.

"And I hate the fact that you make me want to try it anyway," Wednesday whispered, bringing you back to reality.

You huffed a chuckle, sliding your hands behind her neck to pull her closer, "you hate it?"

She rolled her eyes endearingly, "take the win," she said, before stealing another kiss from your lips.

Wednesday lingered close to you, her nose bumping yours. She didn't dare open her eyes when she asked the one thing she needed to hear you say; "so can I call you mine?" She choked out, upper lip grazing yours as she spoke.

There was a beat of silence and the Addams girl was almost already considering her early grave when you didn't answer right away.

Until you did, and she could feel your cheeky smile, "only if I can call you mine too."

Wednesday's lips twitched with the treat of a smile. It was an easy bargain.

With her hand in yours, Wednesday walked out of the greenhouse; her destination being the Weathervane, where she'd buy you a hot chocolate, and a coffee for herself and do whatever couples do together.

You wanted to stop by the quad first though.

The weight of Wednesday's hand was pleasant in yours. You took her to the middle of the quad, to where stood your finished project, at last; the big maple tree was the star in the center, surrounded by countless flowers with colors that complemented each other beautifully. Two stood out amongst them, a couple of black dahlias just by the foot of the tree, their dark color unmistakable.

"You remember I was renovating this flowerbed, right?" You asked softly, stealing a glance at your girl.

Wednesday hummed, "yes, I recall."

"I think it's finally done, what do you think?"

You watched as Wednesday's dark eyes skimmed over your work, they lingered a little longer on the black-colored flowers and your lips twitched with a smirk.

"It's nice, I'm sure Enid loved the multitude of colors," Wednesday commented, "the dahlias are a nice touch," she timidly admitted eventually.

"I thought you'd like them," your cheeks warmed up you raised both your joined hands to your lips, planting a kiss on the back of her hand before pulling her along to the main gates.

Before, you didn't understand why soulmates bring each other pain whenever they're near. But now, you can see there's something magical to it — it's the fact that, even with the pain, you won't abandon the one you love, and it's a kind of love that comes without warning, burns itself into your soul and marks your heart in the best possible way.

You admire the boldness of the universe; to create something so potentially tragic yet so delightful, so blissful.

Wednesday's shoulder bumped yours as you two walked, personal space forgotten. You could feel your heartbeats mingling.

Her hand warmed up yours.

⋆* ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Read ch 10 here

Thank you for reading this little story. Feedback and reblogs are literally what keep me motivated to continue posting here, so I'd appreciate it if you could take some time to reblog and comment if you want. <3

Wednesday’s taglist: @milkiane @bookfrog242 @heelaechan @imagine-reblog @simp4wanda26 @sakurarukas @bluetreecloud20 @the-night-owl-blr @imlike-so-gaydude @user284747 @dreifhraniquo29 @emeraldevan @simp4nat @boobabietch @impossibleliv1031 @deadpool-in-a-snood @rainbow-love4ever @maria-403 @pompompuri @halleest @wandaromanova @marveloussimp @rainbow-hedgehog @left-and-right-up-and-down @get-the-fuck-outta-here @awolfcsworld @elduster @alexkolax @georgi-salva @imdumbhi @youralphawolf72 @reginassweetheart @justyourwritter69 @yangsroboarmm @8e-h-e8 @irish-piece-of-trash @femalehomosexual666 @wol-fica @wednesdays-woes

[reidgraygubler]

last christmas (spencer reid/reader)

Title:  Last Christmas

Requested: no

Couple: spencer reid/gen-neutral!reader 

Category: mostly fluff, but some angst

Content Warning: cheating, swearing, christmas (tagging bc i know some ppl don’t celebrate and could be a trigger), pregnancy, engagements, verbal arguments, kissing/making out, swearing, post prison/post series (minor spoilers, but idk)

Word Count: 7,864

Summary: last christmas: reader gets proposed to on christmas night. The very next day, they find out their fiance is cheating on them. So they go spend the night with their best friend, Spencer Reid. this year: Reader gets proposed to by someone special.

A/N: being forced to listen to christmas music for 3-6 hours at work can really do something to someone. And that’s either murder or writing a cute one-shot… so I went with the latter… bc that’s so much easier than murder. and, this was hardly edited.... sorry for any grammatical errors... Anyways, happy holidays, thank you all for the love and support! Check out my masterlist! {***}{***}{***}

Last Christmas:

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, as the song would say. The lights on the trees and houses around were beautiful. The downtown was always decked out with bizarre lights and statues, as well as people in full 18th-century garb. Loved ones gathering to celebrate the holidays with their friends and family. 

I didn’t know anyone who loved Christmas more than myself. Everyone who knew me, knew that Christmas was my favorite holiday. I tried my hardest to live my best stereotypical Christmas movie life. I’m pretty sure my boyfriend hated it… So, I guess it’s a good thing that all my friends and co-workers loved it. 

“I don’t exactly understand why we have to go to this party,” Jasper looked down at me with a mild annoyance. I smiled before knocking firm on the door. A quick glance at him told him to be quiet. 

“We went to your work party, so it’s only fair we go to mine,” I looked back at the door. A moment later, the door flew open and there stood David Rossi with his wife, Krystall, beside him. “David, Krystall,” I smiled as I pulled my hand from Jasper to hug the couple. “Merry Christmas,” I hummed happily once we parted. I turned to Jasper and took the bottle of wine to give to them.

“And to you. Please, come in. Reid, Penelope, and Emily are all here.” David graciously took the wine from me and invited us in. I grasped Jasper’s hand once again and pulled him inside. 

“Do you need help with anything?” I looked towards David as I took my jacket off. Krystall took it and brought it to a spare room, where I would assume all the other jackets were kept. 

“We’re almost done. Just get yourself a drink and relax,” he smiled and hugged me one last time. I looked up at Jasper and led him to the living room where Spencer, Penelope, and Emily were. I only knew they were there because I could hear their laughter and lively conversations. 

“C’mon, we don’t have to stay for too long,” I looked up at him with a smile. He nodded before pecking my lips, “I promise,” I smiled as I stared at him. 

“Yeah, okay,” he nodded as he glanced at my friends, “I’m gonna run to the bathroom real quick, I’ll be right back,” he whispered before pressing a kiss to my lips. I smiled and watched as he walked away. Once he was around the corner, I walked over to the living room.

“Hey you,” Emily looked up at me as I sat next to Spencer, “How are you?” she smiled. I looked at Spencer and smiled.

“I’m good. Jasper’s nieces and nephews woke us up at like 5 in the morning… And we were up late wrapping their presents,” I laughed and shook my head, “But it was exciting watching them rip through everything,” I added and nodded.

“Sounds Henry and Michael,” Spencer dryly laughed as he looked over at me. 

“Or was it because they got to see their Uncle Spencer?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. Spencer looked away from me and smiled, a small blush rising on his cheeks. “I’d get that excited too if I saw you first thing in the morning,” I smiled. 

“Could you be any cuter, I swear,” Penelope looked between Spencer and I. I looked at her and raised an eyebrow.

“And on that note, I’m going to the bathroom real quick,” Spencer looked at me before standing up.

“Oh, Jasper’s in there right now, so it could be a minute,” I looked up at him as he started to walk away. “Or you could find one of the other many bathrooms Rossi has,” I smiled at him.

“Yeah, yeah,” Spencer waved me off before he walked away. I watched as he walked around the corner, leaving it to be just me, Emily, and Penelope.

“How was your guys’ morning?” I looked back at them with a smile. Emily looked at Penelope before looking at me. The smile she wore made me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

“It was good. It was pretty lazy. Just Andrew and I,” Emily nodded before taking a sip of her wine. I nodded and watched her sip. “He said he’d be joining us, but he’ll be a little late,” she added once she put her glass down. 

“Oh good! I’d love to see good ole Mendoza,” I laughed. Emily looked at me and raised an eyebrow. “What? Andrew is a great guy,” I shrugged.

“Well, I had a great Christmas! I got to see my Chocolate Thunder and his spawn and Queen,” Penelope cut in before either of us could further a comment. 

“How is Morgan? I wish I got to see him more,” I frowned as I looked over at Penelope. Jasper stepped back in, and Spencer was right in tow. Spencer returned to his seat beside me and Jasper on the other side. There was a certain tension in the room now that those two stepped in.  I knew those two always butted heads, but they tried to get along for me. But at the same time, I hated when they were around each other. There was always something for them to fight about. And, most of the time it was nothing.

“Uh, well,” Penelope started after a moment of very awkward silence. I looked at her and swallowed the lump in my throat. “Derek’s great! Hank’s great! I swear I could just eat him up,” her voice was high pitched as she lifted her hands like she was pinching an imaginary person’s cheeks.

“Derek or Hank?” Emily looked at Penelope with a raised eyebrow. I wanted to listen into the conversation. But it was so hard when I had two bags of testosterone sitting beside me. 

“Are you okay,” I looked over at Jasper and whispered. He tensed as I grasped his hand. He looked at me and smiled lightly. 

“Yeah, yeah, work called,” he nodded and looked down at me. I furrowed my eyebrows before pouting. I furrowed my eyebrows before pouting. I could hear Spencer’s scowl from behind me. I wanted to turn back and tell him off, but I refrained.

“But it’s Christmas,” I whispered. 

“Don’t worry. It was an easy fix, over the phone,” he smiled before pecking my lips.

After several minutes of banter with everyone, Jennifer and Will, Matt and Kristy, and Luke arrived, all with various bags or boxes. I instantly got up to help someone or everyone, or anyone who wanted my help (and that happened to be Luke). 

“Merry Christmas,” Jennifer smiled as she embraced me. I squeezed her tight before muttering the words back to her. She looked at me and raised an eyebrow, a little bit of concern in her eyes. “Did you have a good day,”

“Of course I did,” I smiled as I looked at her. I sighed deeply before looking over my shoulder at Spencer and Jasper. They were talking to each other and I honestly couldn’t tell if the conversation was a good conversation or not. I was just worried that Jasper and I would be leaving early and having an argument on the way home. 

“Your boys fighting?” Jennifer asked as she followed my gaze to the two men. 

“Honestly, with those two? I never know. I just wish for Christmas they wouldn’t fight,” I rolled my eyes. Jennifer laughed lightly as she looked back at me. 

“I’m sure they’ll get along, someday,” she reassured. I looked back at her, dropping my shoulders. “And, for now, don’t worry about it,” she hummed once she saw my disappointment.

“Anyways, Penelope saw Chocolate Thunder for Christmas,” I looked over at Penelope and smiled. She looked back at me with a childlike excitement once I talked about her forbidden love. 

“Oh? Really? I would love to hear more about that trip,” Jennifer looked over at the people sitting in the living room. I smiled as I watched Penelope recount her trip to the others. 

“Wine,” David appeared beside me with a glass of wine. I smiled before graciously taking it from him.

{***}{***}{***}

I was happy to see that Jasper seemed to join in on the conversations with everyone, instead of sitting and wallowing in whatever emotion he was in. But I knew something was going on, because I could feel a certain annoyance or nervousness coming from him. Being on a team with a bunch of FBI profilers really helps to tell when something is wrong. 

I smiled at Spencer and Jennifer before silently excusing myself to sit beside Jasper. Even though I couldn’t see him, I could feel Spencer’s eyes watching me. No matter what the situation was, he was always protective of me. He was my best friend, so I shouldn’t be too worried. He was more protective over me when it came to Jasper, too. He hated Jasper.

“Is everything okay,” I asked as I sat beside him on the couch. He turned to face me more and grasped both my hands. A certain worry was in his eye, which made me worry. “Is everything okay,” I looked at him, trying to push away all my anxieties. 

“I just wasn’t sure if I would get the chance to ask you a question,” his voice was low. I furrowed my eyebrows as he pulled his hands from mine. I watched as he stood up in front of me. He cleared his throat, getting the attention of everyone else in the room. The room went silent as everyone turned to look at Jasper and I (but mostly Jasper). “Can I have everyone’s attention for just a moment,” he spoked, shoving his hands in his pockets. 

Once he was certain he had the floor and everyone’s attention, more specifically mine, he looked back at me. He had a certain gleam in his eye that made me feel happy, and the exact opposite of nervous and worried. 

“You’re the only person I’ve ever loved. There is no one I would rather spend my entire life with than you,” his words were smooth like butter and he was as relaxed as ever. He slowly lowered to the ground, kneeling on one knee. I brought my hands to my lips as I gasped. The girls around me were instantly squealing from excitement and the guys were stunned into silence. Spencer just glared from his seat across the room. “Will you marry me?” Jasper asked as he pulled his hand from his pocket. A black velvet box was in his hands, and inside was a diamond ring. I widened my eyes and felt the breath escape my lungs. 

The room fell silent with his proposal. Everyone’s eyes fell on us, and I could feel the cold and mildly judgemental stare from Spencer. Of course, I wanted to say yes. I loved Jasper. And, no one could make me feel otherwise. 

“Of course I’ll marry you, you fool,” I smiled at him as slid to the edge of the couch. A series of applause came from everyone as Jasper slid the ring on my finger. I rested my hands on his cheeks before pulling him into a kiss. 

“Well, I think it’s time to pop open a bottle of champagne,” David spoke in a cheery tone before standing. I looked up at him with a smile and watched as he walked towards the kitchen. I looked back at Jasper before kissing him once again. 

“I’m going to see if he needs any help,” Spencer spoke cooly before leaving. I looked at him, watching as he left. I looked over at Jennifer with a raised eyebrow, silently asking her to go see what’s wrong. She nodded before chasing after Spencer. 

{***}{***}{***}

“Again, congratulations,” Krystall smiled as she hugged me. I returned the hug. As I pulled away, she grasped my hand. “Merry Christmas,” she looked up at me. I smiled before turning to David.

“Thank you guys so much. I’ll see you on Monday,” I looked at the couple again before turning to leave. Jasper had already gone out to the care to start it, seeing as it was very cold out. 

“I’ll walk you out,” Spencer spoke up from behind David and Krystall. I looked past the couple at Spencer. He was already wearing his jacket and scarf. He wanted to leave the second Jasper proposed. 

“Yeah, of course,” I smiled and nodded. Spencer gave his pardons to David and Krystall before we finally stepped outside. 

“Did you have a good Christmas, Spence,” I looked up at him as we walked down the sidewalk. He kept his eyes low on the ground as we walked, and the silence he gave me was nearly deafening. I glanced at him, half worried because he’s never ever this quiet. Even when a sour police officer was getting annoyed or fed up with him, he wouldn’t even shut up. 

“Yeah, yeah, spent it with my mom and JJ’s family,” he nodded as he kept his eyes low. I smiled and nodded. “What about you,” he finally looked over at me.

“Yeah, yep… Spent it with Jasper and his family and friends,” I nodded as I shoved my hands into my pocket. 

“Not yours?” Spencer stopped walking. He grabbed my wrist, causing me to stop. I turned around and looked up at him. “I mean, it’s not very fair that he forced you to spend the holidays with his friends and family, and he looked like he wanted to jump off a bridge the whole time you were here… And you weren’t even here that long,”

“Spencer!” I looked up at him as I exclaimed. I stared at him with wide eyes. “What the hell is going on with you?” I dropped my shoulders as I looked at him.

“I’m just speaking the truth,” Spencer shrugged before he put his hands in his pockets. I shook my head and let out a laugh of disbelief.

“I gotta go,” I shook my head before turning to leave. I could hear Spencer muttering something to himself as I turned, and I just knew he had more to say.

“He doesn’t even love you!” Spencer shouted as I walked towards the car. I froze, staring at the window and Jasper sitting inside. I’m sure he could hear my argument with my best friend.  My heart was in my throat and I could feel myself starting to get sick. My head started to get a little woozy. “I’ve seen the way he’s looked at you and talked to you! And, he doesn’t…”

“Spencer,” I turned around to look at him, feeling the irritation growing in my head and my heart. He was looking at me, face filled with fury. The expression on his face told me he was telling the truth, but also Spencer would never lie to me. 

His eyes grew watery as he stared at me, and I knew the next thing he would say would probably break my heart. He was already telling the truth, a truth that I didn’t want to believe. 

“Please don’t marry him,” his voice lowered as he spoke. And I swear I heard it crack. I swallowed roughly as I looked at him. “He was constantly talking to someone tonight, texting someone. I heard him on the phone with someone when I left the bathroom, and I know it wasn’t work,”

“Stop,” I looked at him, trying to get him to stop talking before he said anything more that would embarrass the both of us. “Goodnight, Spencer. I’ll see you Monday,” I nodded at him before slipping into the car.

“Ready?” Jasper asked, looking over at me as he grasped my hand. I looked over at him with a smile before nodding.

“Yeah,” I whispered before looking back out the window at Spencer. He was still standing on the sidewalk, staring at me. He wore a very hurt expression on his face, and I swear a tear was rolling down his cheek. And before anything could happen, Jasper started the car and pulled away from David’s house and my best friend.

{***}{***}{***}

“Have a nice day,” I looked up at Jasper as he slipped from the bed. He pressed his lips to my forehead, wishing me a good day, before leaving to get ready for the day. I was only asleep for a few minutes before my alarm went off, forcing me to get out of bed and get on with my day. And, although I still had a few more days left of no work, I still had my plate full of errands and chores. 

Once my day finally started, I made way towards the dry cleaners. I had to pick up a couple of my blouses and a few slacks. Work had wrinkled and nearly ruined a few of my clothes, and the only place that could fix them was the dry cleaners. After the dry cleaners, I had to get a few groceries, seeing as all we had was some leftovers from Jasper’s parents’ place.

My phone started ringing, almost shocking me because I wasn’t expecting anyone to call me today. But I was more relieved when I saw that it was Jennifer calling. 

“Hey, have you talked to Spence?” Jennifer asked as I pressed my phone between my head and shoulder. I furrowed my eyebrows as I readjusted the grip on the bags in hand. 

“No, not since last night. We kind of had an argument before I left,” I muttered as I grabbed my phone. The memories of the argument with Spencer came back, and I tried my hardest not to recount them. I looked up at the sidewalk and people ahead of me and saw Jasper. He wasn’t alone though. Another woman was in his arms.

“Are you even listening to me?” Jennifer spoke, her tone mildly annoyed that I wasn’t answering any of her questions or acknowledging anything she was saying. 

“I’m… I gotta go. I’m sorry,” I muttered before hanging up and shoving my phone in my pocket. I looked at Jasper and the woman and watched as he deeply kissed her. 

I took a deep shaky breath before rushing back to my car. I didn’t even care about my fresh dry cleaning as I shoved it into the back. Tears were slowly rolling down my cheeks, and I wasn’t sure if there was a way I could stop them.

Not wanting to go home, the place that I would be reminded of him, I drove around, trying to figure where to go. Until I found myself standing outside Spencer’s apartment. I wasn’t exactly sure if I had knocked until the door swung open and Spencer was standing in front of me.

“Wh-what are you-Wait, is everything okay?” he asked, reaching a hand out to grasp my arm. I swallowed roughly and allowed him to hold my arm, and then my hand.

"I'm sorry… I didn't know where else to go. I didn’t want to go home because he’s there. And I just didn’t want to be around him,” I looked at Spencer with moisture in my eyes. He looked back at me with confusion settling on his face as he stared. 

“What… What happened? What’s wrong?” He asked as he stepped out of his apartment and rested his hands on my shoulders. I looked up at him before allowing myself to fully break down. Spencer widened his eyes before pulling me into a hug. I pressed my face into his chest and sobbed.

“He cheated on me!” I exclaimed after a moment of crying. Spencer backed away from me to get a better look at me. “I was out doing errands… And I saw him…” I took a deep breath and wiped my eyes. Spencer looked at me as he slowly realized what I had said. I could tell he didn’t really know what to do, so he just hugged me again before pulling me inside. 

“Sit, I’ll get you… I’ll get you tea. You like tea.” Spencer looked at me as he sat me on the couch. I looked up at him before wiping my cheeks. “Yeah, I’ll make you tea,” he nodded before leaving me alone in the living room. I looked towards the direction of his kitchen, listening to the clatter he was making. I could hear him talking to himself, saying stuff about Jasper, and me, and work, and the party last night, and our argument last night. I definitely shouldn’t be hearing him saying these things. It was an obvious thing that should be said to me another time. 

“Can I stay here for the night?” I looked up at Spencer as he reentered the living room with a mug of hot water and teabag. He looked at me as he sat beside me. I graciously took the mug from him and put the teabag in it. 

“Of course. You didn’t even have to ask,” Spencer looked at me as he grabbed a throw blanket. I sighed deeply as he placed it over my shoulders. “You can stay for as long as you need,” he looked at me as he furrowed his eyebrows. 

“Thanks, Spence,” I looked down at the tea and shrugged, “I don’t know what I’m going to do. All my stuff is over there.” I wiped my eyes again. Tears just wouldn’t stop rolling down my cheeks, I was starting to feel a little ridiculous. 

“Luke, Matt, and I will go over and bring it here. And you can stay for as long as you want," he insisted. I swallowed roughly before wiping my eyes. I looked up at him, trying to smile but it was rather unconvincing for the both of us. “You know that my place is your place,” he added and returned a genuine smile. His smile made me feel a little bit better and turned my unconvincing smile into something more convincing.

“Thank you, Spencer,” I whispered as I looked down at the cup of tea. The steam coming off it was rather soothing. “I don’t know how I didn’t see it! God. I’m so stupid! I’m sorry I didn’t believe you,” I looked at him, my statement sounding stupid. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” he whispered a hand and wiped my cheeks. I could sense that he wanted to say more, because he always as more to say, especially when it’s about proving someone wrong. So, when he stopped at ‘It’s okay’ I was a little confused. “You didn’t want to believe something that should be false. I understand that,” he folded his hands in his lap. 

“I just don’t know what I’m going to do,” I looked down at the engagement ring on my finger. I wrinkled my nose before taking it off and chucking it at the coffee table. The ring dinged as it bounced on the hard surface. I muttered a few profanities as I stared at the ring. Spencer looked at me with a raised brow. “I guess that means you’re getting what you wanted… I’m not going to marry him,” I dryly laughed as I looked up at him. 

“I didn’t want it like that,” Spencer whispered as he looked back at me. I looked up at him and frowned. “I was being selfish,” he whispered, mostly to himself. I raised an eyebrow before looking down at the ring. 

“You’re allowed to be selfish, Spencer,” I mumbled before looking back at him.

“You’re right. But I want to be selfish for the right reasons,” he looked back at me. I swallowed roughly and shook my head. “He doesn't deserve you. And you don't deserve to have your heart broken by some guy,” Spencer muttered. I raised an eyebrow. “We don’t have to talk about it now, though, when you’re ready,” he assured. 

I didn’t really want to press why he wanted to wait till I was ready. I was honestly always ready to talk to him, no matter what it was. So, I guess we’ll have to wait till he was good and ready.  Even if that meant a very long time.

{***}{***}{***}

New Year’s Eve:

New Year’s Eve was especially difficult. Usually, I love it, just like Christmas. But this time… This time was different. I supposed being cheated on during such a big holiday can do that to you. My spirit for any exciting holiday was simply diminished and gone now. 

So, that’s why I was sitting at the kitchen counter in Rossi’s house with my third glass of wine. I was really trying not to wallow in self-pity. But it was so easy when my excitement for the new year was just… gone. The others seemed okay with my sadness. Although, Spencer was the most concerned than anyone else. Everyone was off in the living room, laughing in their conversations. I just wanted to be alone for a moment.

“Hey,” Spencer looked at me as he sat beside me at the counter. I looked up from my drink and at him. A lazy and drunk smile grew on my lips as I looked at him. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m doing great, Spence,” I looked at him as I stood up. He raised an eyebrow as I stumbled a bit. He grasped my arm to steady me a bit. “I’m gonna go outside. I need some fresh air. You stay here,” I patted his chest before leaving.

Spencer allowed me to go outside alone, I was half expecting him to follow me. So, I was happy when I took a seat outside. The air was a little bit chilly and nippy, which was mildly sobering. I kinda wished I had another drink with me.

I heard the back door open and then slam shut, causing me to turn around and look. Spencer was walking towards me with a blanket over his arm. It was only a few minutes since I came out here, he can’t have missed me that much.

“Here, it’s cold,” he offered me the blanket as he sat on the other outdoor chair. I took it and wrapped it around my shoulders like a cape. We sat in an uncomfortable, unnerving silence. I just wished he would say something so we wouldn’t be in the quiet.

“I just needed a few minutes alone. Everyone inside is just a little bit too loud for me,” I shrugged as I looked at the space between us. Spencer’s hum was unconvincing, but I’m sure my excuse was just as unconvincing too. “They’re too happy and I’m, well, not,” I looked up at him.

“I understand,” Spencer nodded, like he knew how I felt. I stared at him, only a little bit annoyed that he said that he understood. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

“Spencer, I’ve been living with you for the last week, you already know how I feel,” I looked up at him. The previous few nights I was up most of the night sobbing, mostly because I was heartbroken. It was bad and a little embarrassing because Spencer was the one who took care of me. “Thank you, for that… I do appreciate it,”

“You’re my best friend,” he whispered as he looked at me. A friendly smile grew on his lips as our eyes locked. “I care about you. And, I’d do anything to keep you safe,”

I didn’t really have anything to say, because I knew he meant it. He knew I felt the same way about him. There was a reason why I went to his home instead of Jennifer’s, or Emily’s… And, that reason was because he cared about me and he was my best friend. 

I scooched the chair closer to him and threw the blanket over his other shoulder. He looked over at me with a smile and his hair flopped in front of his eyes. I smiled as I brushed the hair away from his face. 

We fell back into our comfortable silence. My head was rested on his shoulder as his fingers slowly entwined with mine. I don’t think I was supposed to notice him holding my hand, but I did. 

“Can I ask something from you, Spence,” I asked, lifting my head from his shoulder. He looked at me with furrowed eyebrows, like he wasn’t sure if my question was a trick or not.

“Of course,” he nodded and looked at me. I turned to face him more, looking up at his face.

“Kiss me,” I whispered softly. My eyes flicked between his eyes and lips, and it was taking everything within me to not just kiss him. I could easily blame the copious amounts of alcohol I consumed earlier in the evening. Or I could blame the true and exact feelings I had towards Spencer. If I could, I’d wrap them up in a box with a bow and give it to him with a note tag that simply said ‘I love you’, but I wouldn’t. I won’t tell him the real reason why I want him to kiss me. It’s only been a week since my doomed relationship ended. I couldn’t tell him, yet. So I told him a lie. “I’m drunk and heartbroken, Spencer, please just kiss me,” I whispered as I lifted my hand to his tie. 

“I, uh, I... “ Spencer mumbled as he glanced towards the house. I knew no one was watching what I was doing out here, and I knew they wouldn’t care about what Spencer was doing. They were all too busy playing various drinking games and too involved with themselves to care. “Is that a good idea? I’m not so sure that’s a good idea,” he muttered as he moved closer to me. And it wasn’t because I was tugging his tie.

“I think it is… I think it’s the greatest idea ever… Why else would I be asking?” I looked up at his eyes before smiling. I dropped my hand from his tie and noted that he wasn’t moving away from me. “Tell me, Spence, would I be a fool if you kissed me?” I looked into his eyes. My reflection was noticeable in his irises and it made me smile knowing I was that close to him.  

“You’d never be a fool,” Spencer whispered, his breath tickling the space above my lips. I smiled and nodded.

“I don’t know about you, but I was pretty foolish last week,” I dryly laughed. Spencer furrowed his eyebrows before shaking his head. “Please, kiss me,” I quietly begged. 

He placed his hands on my cheeks before pressing his lips to mine. I hummed happily as we kissed. I could barely keep myself up and myself breathing as he gently worked his lips against mine. My heart was beating in my chest, but at the same time, it was fluttering. He was so gentle and soft, like if he went any harder he’d break me. But, I’m already broken. The butterflies I was feeling in my stomach grew and caused a heat to work its way up my cheeks. But it wasn’t just a kiss. It never is just a kiss with people. And, Spencer is more than just a person. A kiss with Jasper just felt like eh, it left me feeling nothing. But a kiss with Spencer left me wanting more. I wanted more of my life with him. It was in the few mere moments we were kissing that I realized I really did love him. 

Spencer was the first to move away from me, but only a few inches. Our noses were still touching and our foreheads were still pressed together. I licked my lips and smiled softly.

“That was…” I opened my eyes and looked at him. The smile on my lips grew wider as I looked at him. His eyes scanned my face, looking for any sort of worry or fear I might have had. But I had none. “Amazing,” I whispered as I dropped my shoulders. Spencer visibly relaxed as I finished talking.

“Good,” he laughed softly as he looked back at me. 

“Best kiss I’ve ever had,” I whispered with a smile. Spencer returned the smiles he looked at me. “I know you’d fool me if you kissed me again,” I murmured against his lips. Spencer smiled before pressing his lips back to mine. I hummed as I wrapped my arms around his neck to hold him as close as possible. I didn’t want to move from my spot, and I knew Spencer didn’t want to move either. “I’d be okay if you did it again,”

“I love you,” Spencer muttered into my mouth, causing me to freeze in my spot. I kept my eyes closed because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to look at him. “Oh fuck, I shouldn’t have opened my mouth,” he groaned before tilting his head back away from me. I quickly opened my eyes and looked for his face. “Now I’m the fool,” he murmured against my lips. He was clearly embarrassed because I didn’t say anything back. I was mostly shocked because I wasn’t expecting it.

“Don’t say that,” I whispered, bringing my hands to rest gently on his cheeks. He looked at me with furrowed brows, like I was the one who was wrong about our words. “I love you too,” I smiled softly at him. Spencer looked at me, like I was suddenly a light in the darkness. And, I really liked the way it felt when he looked at me like that. “Like, I wished I realized it sooner… And, before I met, you know,” I muttered as I talked about the man who broke my heart a week ago. A look flashed in Spencer’s eyes at the mention of his, I suppose, enemy. I knew he wanted to kill the man. “I’m happy I did realize it though,” I smiled as I looked at him.

“I am too,” he finally said something after a moment of silence. The smile on his lips and in his eyes, and all the previous anger and hatred melted away. “I wish I could have told you sooner,” 

“You told me at a perfect time, Spencer,” I whispered before kissing him again. I nearly fell back in a fit of laughter as he tried deepening the kiss, but I was happy he kept me steady. 

“Don’t worry, I got you now,” he whispered as he held me close.

{***}{***}{***}

This Christmas:

You would have thought that I was going to hate Christmas this year. I mean, considering what happened last year? He basically ruined my week and the whole holiday for me. But it got better, thanks to Spencer. 

I looked up at Spencer as I wrapped my arms around his and rested my head on his shoulder. He looked back down at me with a smile before knocking on the door. 

“I hope everyone had a good Christmas,” I whispered as I looked at the wreath on David’s door. Krystall must be happy about her decor this year.

“Well, this is the first year neither of us really spent it with anyone else from the team,” Spencer replied as he brought his other hand to rest on my arm. I smiled before nuzzling my head more into his shoulder. “Well, This would be the first year I didn’t spend with JJ and Will,” he spoke again, changing his answer.

“Next year,” I smiled softly as I looked up at him, “Who knows, maybe next year we’ll have our own family,” I smiled smugly. Spencer laughed and shook his head, but the happy gleam in his eyes told me otherwise. Of course he wouldn’t actually verbalize that he wants kids, it’s just been known for years that he wanted them. 

“Maybe,” he looked down at me and winked. I rolled my eyes and shook my head lightly. My words were cut off by the front door swinging open. Krystall was standing by the door with a wide smile on her lips. She looked pretty happy to see Spencer and I.

“Merry Christmas, you two,” she smiled as she stepped to the side to allow us in, “Did you have a good morning?” she looked at us as we walked in.

“Wonderful,” I smiled as I looked up at Spencer and smiled. He returned the smile as he unbuttoned his jacket. Of course, we wouldn’t exactly talk about what we did this morning, I’ll just say it was a little NSFW to share with people you work with. And, somethings gotta stay between Spencer and I. 

“Is anyone else here?” I looked back at Krystall as I slipped my own jacket off. I don’t really know why I asked if anyone else was here… Spencer and I were the last ones to show up...

“You’re the last ones to arrive,” she smiled at us, “Jennifer and Will brought their boys,” she spoke as childish laughter filled the moment of silence after her words. 

“Oh! We were just talking about we didn’t see them this morning,” I looked up at Spencer as I moved closer to him. He carefully wrapped an arm around my waist, holding me closer to him. “I can’t wait to see them,” I smiled as I looked at Spencer. He returned the look with a loving look in his eye. 

“Well, I know you two know your way around the house, everyone is in the living room. If you need anything just let us know,” Krystall smiled at us before leaving to put our coats somewhere. Once she was out of our sight, I looked back up at Spencer.

“We should probably go see everyone,” I smiled as I looked towards the kitchen. Spencer gently placed a hand on my cheek, guiding my face to face his. “What,” I whispered as I looked up at him. 

“I love you,” he returned the whisper before pressing his lips to mine. I hummed as I melted into his kiss. His hand was firmly placed on my waist and he carefully pulled me closer to his body. 

“God, not in Rossi’s house,” a groan came from behind us. I pulled away from Spencer and looked over my shoulder. Emily was standing in the doorway, looking at us as she lifted her glass to her lips. 

“What, he was just hugging me,” I smiled at her. Spencer’s hands were still firmly on my me. And, it was very clear that he was not just hugging me. Judging by the expression on Emily’s face, she definitely saw more than she bargained for. 

“Sure you were,” she smiled at us, “Spence, David needs you in the kitchen,” she looked at Spencer before pushing herself off the wall and leaving. I pouted and looked up at him. 

“It’ll be just a minute. Save me a seat,” he whispered before quickly pecking my lips and swiftly leaving me in the foyar. More laughter came from the living room, causing me to smile. I instantly knew I wanted to join in the laughter and fun with the others, more specifically the two young boys.

When I stepped into the living room, everyone greeted me with a lot of excitement. It felt like they hadn’t seen me in months, but we just saw each other two days ago. 

“Hey, Merry Christmas,” I smiled as I looked at everyone. Michael and Henry ran up to me and wrapped their arms around my legs, “Hey you two,” I ruffled my hand in their hair. 

“Boys,” Jennifer called from her spot on the couch. I looked up at her and smiled as her two boys let go of me. I smiled before taking a seat at the armchair. “Where’s Spence? Did he come?” Jennifer asked as she watched me sit. Everyone had this weird sort of energy, like they knew something that I didn’t exactly know. I always hated when they did that. They knew that too. Granted, I’m not typically a person who likes surprises or secrets. 

“Yeah, he’s helping Dave with something in the kitchen,” I smiled as I looked at her. Michael ran up to me, holding a toy truck he got this morning. “Whoa! That’s such a cool truck, Michael! What else did you get?” I leaned and braced myself on my knees. He was very quiet as he told me what he got, but he was very enthusiastic about everything. When he finished telling me everything he got, he cautiously climbed onto the chair and sat beside me. 

“You were supposed to save me a seat,” a voice came from behind me. I looked behind me and saw Spencer, looking down at me with a wide smile. “I’ll just have to sit over here,” he faked a pout before going to sit on the other armchair.

“What can I say, the fellas love me,” I smiled as I watched him sit. As much as I loved sitting with Jennifer’s boys, I really wanted to sit with Spencer. Even from across the living room, he knew that too. 

As the night went on, food was eaten, drinks were drunk, presents were exchanged. I still had a 4 year old little boy attached at my hip, and there was no getting rid of him. Don’t get me wrong, I loved him… But, there were things that I wanted to do. Like sit with Spencer, and talk about things other than toys and little kid things… 

“Can we talk real quick?” Spencer asked as he squatted beside me and Michael. I looked at him and nodded, feeling my face falter slightly. I looked down at the boy on my knee, silently telling Spencer that my shadow probably won’t leave me alone. Spencer looked over his shoulder at Jennifer, silently telling her something. 

“Hey, Michael, c’mere,” Jennifer spoke to her child. Michael looked up at me before hugging me and leaving me alone. I looked back up at Spencer before standing up. 

“Privately?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. Spencer swallowed roughly and nodded before grasping my hand and bringing me outside. The door clicked shut behind us as we walked towards the sitting area. I was instantly hugging myself to keep myself somewhat warm, because it was cold and I wasn’t wearing my coat.

“I’ll be quick, I’m sorry,” he cringed, grasping both my hands to hold them. I furrowed my eyebrows as I warily looked at him. The anxiety that I was feeling was through the roof, and I knew he noticed it too. 

“Is everything okay,” I whispered as I looked at him. I was worried something was wrong. Why else would he want to talk to me alone? But, something couldn’t have been wrong, because he was smiling and laughing and looked happy.

“I just wanted to talk to you for a second... And without Michael by your side,” Spencer laughed as he looked back at me. I smiled as I looked up at him. “And I wanted to have a moment with you, alone,” he looked over my shoulder at the house. Something flashed in his eyes as he pulled one hand from me and put it in his pocket. “In fact… I wanted eternity with you,” he whispered as he looked at me. I dropped my shoulders as I slowly realized what he meant. “I know Christmas is your favorite, and last Christmas was ruined… But I wanted to make it mean something to you again…”

“Spen-”

“Will you marry me,” he whispered, pulling out a small grey box and opening it up. The ring was a plain silver band with a diamond embedded in the center. I looked at him and smiled. “I know it’s barely been a year… But,”

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” we both said it in unison. He looked up at me and smiled, his eyes a little bit moist. Mine were also welling up a little bit. 

“Of course I’ll marry you, Spencer,” I whispered looking at him with a smile. He returned the smile before sliding the ring on my finger. I placed my hands on his cheeks before pulling him into a kiss. Cheering and applause came from inside, causing me to laugh against his lips. I looked up at him and smiled. “I love you,” I whispered softly.

“I love you too,” Spencer smiled before kissing me again.

{***}{***}{***}

The following morning Spencer and I were downtown. We didn’t have much to do, so we explored downtown while the holiday decorations were still up. Spencer was actually taking me to an after Christmas movie thing at a black and white theater. Our quiet laughter and conversation made me feel happy. Our conversations were mostly filled with the excitement of our new engagement and future wedding.

That was until I was stopped abruptly as we walked into a familiar man and woman. I stared at him, feeling a certain sickness rise in my stomach. Spencer’s arm went back around me in a protective manner. My body went frigid as I stared at the man and the woman, so I was thankful for Spencer’s embrace.

“Jasper,” I spoke, almost breathlessly. I swallowed roughly as I stared at them. Jasper was quiet for a long time. I knew for a fact he was pretending to not know who I was. But he 100% knew who I was, and who Spencer was.

 "I almost didn't recognize you," he laughed as he looked at me. I started back and held back the scoff. "You look so different,"

“Well, it’s been a year, so it doesn’t surprise me,” I looked at him and then at his wife. His pregnant wife. I only knew they were married now because of the ring she was nonchalantly showing off to Spencer and I. I wouldn’t be surprised if she thought I was wallowing in pity for a full year. They’re probably both surprised by seeing me with Spencer, Jasper more than her. I bounced back from our spilt faster than he probably thought.

I ignored them and looked up at Spencer, who was staring at Jasper with such laser precision I swear he’d kill him. But, to be fair, Jasper was staring at Spencer with the same amount of hatred. I knew his wife was clearly uncomfortable with everything that was happening. I was uncomfortable. 

“Well, it was nice seeing you again,” Jasper looked at me with a smile that was faker than a Kardashian’s ass.

“We best be going now. Spencer and I have an appointment we can’t miss,” I spoke as he opened his mouth. It was obvious he wanted to have the first out, but we just spoke over each other. I looked up at Spencer before grasping his hand and pulling him past the couple. Not another word was spoken between us, and not another word will ever be spoken between us. But, that’s okay. I have all I could ever need or want.

I looked up at Spencer before looking back down at the ring on my finger. The ring that he placed there. This is a lot better than last Christmas, and I can’t wait for the rest of my Christmases to be with Spencer.

spencer taglist: @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto​

[sunlightwoo]

Five Day Confessions

pairing: baseball player!eric x g.n reader

genre: college au, best friends to lovers trope with like some slow burn?? in a way??? but also they’re like lowkey pining over each other cause why not with your usual fluff, humor and angst

wc: 4.7k

plot: you think that it’s amusing to see the star baseball player of your school pining over your heart, seeing as though your winter break was coming around the corner. maybe it was the holiday season that was coming, or the unspoken feelings that you might’ve had for your flirtatious best friend that was clueless about your own thoughts to him. let’s hope that maybe these five days that you both confess to each other indirectly finally go unnoticed.

a/n: this lowkey ended up being the longest oneshot that i have written on this blog, and i’m really shocked HOUEHGOEA of course it’d be eric sohn.. bUT ANYWAYSS :)) i hope you enjoy this piece that i’ve been working on these days for @timextoxhajima​‘s collab cause the pain i felt while writing this... yeah hehe anyways happy new yearrr

COLLAB MASTERLIST | MY TBZ MASTERLIST

Day One

It was five days before you were finally let out onto the winter break that you had been longing for since Thanksgiving weekend. An entire semester that was filled with endless assignments, stress and exams that definitely would’ve been the end of your existence, had it not been spent with your best friend along the way.

You were surprised that the star baseball player that was too close to your heart for your liking was passing, considering you never saw him come back to your shared apartment until the late hours of eight at night. Whether it was during the spring, or like now in the winter where he was conditioning for months before the season could even start, he was always focused on excelling in both baseball, but also securing a career in entrepreneurship if baseball happened to be a setback.

You argued the latter, that he was far too good to not be let into the major leagues, but he always found a way to downplay it and rather change the subject.

That was how Eric Sohn was, you concluded as you lived everyday being best friends with him.

The afternoon sun was already beaming down on you through the window as you sat at the seat closest to it in your last class of the day. Words that would’ve left your professor’s mouth sounded like complete gibberish as you were struggling to concentrate on whatever lesson he was trying to teach until you locked eyes with the said best friend, his eyes already scheming with mischief in them.

A smile crosses his lips as you watch him mouth something incoherent to you, making you distracted momentarily as you giggled to yourself quietly and shook your head. Turning away from the latter, the bell rings just in time for you to finally leave from your class as you hear the yells that were slowly growing louder come closer to your own ears.

“We’re free for the rest of the week!” He cheers as he tosses both yours and his bags over his shoulders, a habit that he picked up over the past few years even after you argued with him numerous times to not do so because of how bad you felt from the heaviness of your own bag combined with his sports gear.

That never seemed to stop him, however, since it was an everyday thing that he seemed to pick up to this day.

“Sounds like fun. Any plans for today?” You ask him curiously, walking out of the room together with him as the two of you were already heading out of the building to head back to your shared apartment, ready to start feeling the stress-free vacation that you needed for a while and for Christmas to arrive.

There was a beat of silence as you could tell that he was thinking about what to do for today, making you look at him momentarily and take in the tiny details that painted his face carefully. You knew that your best friend was handsome, there was no argument against that.

“Quit staring at me, I know you’re in love with me,” He chuckles slightly and you blink back to reality to see that he was already staring back at you, making heat rush up to your cheeks as you pulled away from his gaze to stare at the clear sky above you.

“There was just something on your face, that’s all stupid.” You retort, hoping that maybe he would’ve bought the excuse and it seems as though that he did as he lets another beat of silence pass by.

What was he thinking about?

“Hey, do you want to get some ramen?” He nudged you gently, making you look up at him with widened eyes as he broke you from your thoughts when you smiled in response, nodding as the two of you began to head towards the convenience store that was just down the street.

“Last one to get there has to pay.” You grin, already breaking out for a sprint as the latter decides that maybe giving you a five second head start wasn’t too bad, hiding the amused smile on his face from the fact that you were too cute when you were excited about the thought of ramen.

Up until he feels the emptiness of his back pocket, making him realize that you had stolen his wallet to buy your own stuff before he could even notice it.

“Oh shit wait- they have my wallet. Y/N, you can't just call that and then take my wallet!”

Luckily for you, he wanted to pay for your meal anyways just to keep the smile on your face aligned with the stars that always seemed to twinkle in your eyes.

Day Two

“Hey, are you busy?”

You turn your head to see Eric standing at your door frame, seeing that he seemed to be in distress as you paused the drama that was on your television for a moment. Patting the empty beside you on the bed, he immediately rushes over to where you sat in which he steals the opportunity to cuddle you in his arms as he wraps them around your waist tightly while laying on top of you.

A breath escapes your lips from his sudden weight and you shifted over so that you were no longer on one end of the bed but rather the middle, so that neither of you would fall off of the mattress as a result of his antics. This particular position was one that you were all too familiar with considering these cuddle sessions would only happen when one of you had problems to spill to the other, and you could only assume that in this situation, it was Eric that had something to say.

However, the only thing you were confused about was the reason as to why he was like this when there wasn’t anything that he has told you about these days, whether it was about relationships, baseball or even himself.

“Everything okay, bubs?” You mumbled quietly, staring at the blonde in question as his nickname that you gave him easily slipped past your lips when he let out a soft hum in response.

It wasn’t unusual for him to come into your room to talk about whatever was on his mind in which he found it comforting that he was able to confide in you for such things. He knew that if he told any of his friends, they might not be able to emphasize his emotions with him, which was why he was grateful that you were both best friends but also comfortable enough with one another where anything that was said would only be kept between the two of you and only you two.

A special thing that you two had.

“I think I’m overthinking things again.” He bluntly whispers and moves his head so that he is now looking out the window as your hands found their way to gently play with the soft strands that were tickling your stomach slightly.

It was silent as you continued to play with his hair as you listened to him talk about whatever was randomly on his mind, in which he talked about how he missed visiting his family since they weren’t around this time of year because they went on vacation assuming Eric was conditioning again this year not knowing he took time off to spend time with them.

It made you think about how you must’ve been the only other person that he could spend the upcoming holidays with, since you knew that your close mutual friends were also heading home as well to spend time with their families. However, your plan was to stay at the apartment alone since you didn’t have anything to look forward to until now.

“”I’ll make sure that you have the best Christmas ever, Eric, I swear,” You softly smiled, holding out your pinky down towards his face and you felt him hook his pinky around yours, sending the familiar sensations of warmth down your spine at your wordless promise, “That’s all that was on your mind?”

You wonder if this was what it must’ve been like to fall in love with someone, seeing as though your heart was still pounding in your chest at how close he was to you. His soft breathing on top of yours was making you feel warmer in your heart, and you could only hope that he didn’t feel how fast your heart was beating underneath his ear.

“I think I like someone too, but I don’t know what it’s like to fall in love with someone.” He says and you look at him in confusion just as he looks back at you in pure curiosity.

You didn’t think that he actually liked someone at the moment, considering he wasn’t really good at keeping secrets from you regardless of how hard that he tries. However, you could feel the slight sting of jealousy in your heart, paining you at the fact that he was indeed too out of your league, and also your best friend.

It was too risky, you knew, to even date your best friend and also the star baseball player of your university as everybody loved Eric. No matter how flirtatious or friendly he was towards everyone, it was all strictly platonic on your end.

“Falling in love with someone can be the most beautiful, but also the most painful feeling in the world, bubs. Have you ever felt like that with someone these days?” You reply and suddenly feel him get up from where he was lying on you, the emptiness from his warmth leaving your own making you frown invisibly, but you knew that there was something going on in his head.

He really did like someone else.

“I think so… Don’t worry about it, sweetheart, I’m not that serious about it, okay?” He chuckles while ruffling your hair slightly as you could feel the loud shatters in your heart resonate in your chest, and you could only smile as you hope that he never catches onto the feelings you buried in your heart.

“Have you ever felt like that though, Y/N? It’s like you’re the one who has been in a long relationship like that, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk about one since freshman year?” Eric mumbles, slightly facing you as you let out a quietly chuckle, sitting up against your bed frame to stare between him and the golden sun that is slowly setting outside your window.

It’s a painful feeling because it’s you, You think to yourself as the thoughts of possibly confessing to him would be minimal because you knew that he was only being friendly as your best friend, and nothing more than that.

“Not everyone is worthy of my time and kindness, like you sometimes are buddy.” You smiled, feeling the bitter feeling of guilt crawl up the back of your throat as you swallowed the lump once again, hoping that these feelings for your best friend would possibly leave you alone.

Hopefully.

Day Three

You envied all the couples that were able to show off their relationships that they were in as you were at the mall with your close friends, Kevin and Hyunjae. The three of you were out buying Christmas gifts for your loved ones and friends and you were in distress considering you haven’t bought anything for Eric yet that would count as both a birthday and a Christmas gift.

It would’ve been harder if he had tagged along like he originally planned on doing so, until he got a text from his coach for conditioning this afternoon after school. You were grateful for the fact that you didn’t really have to worry about hiding what his gift was in plain sight, however you decided that maybe you should catch up with some mutual friends rather than going to the mall alone, hence the reason for Kevin and Hyunjae tagging along with you.

The three of you walked around the mall and goofed around, as if you didn’t have a care in the world since they seemed to have noticed your sour mood from looking at the couples in the mall. However, it wasn’t until you had pointed out that you needed to buy a gift for Eric that they finally pulled themselves together to help you come up with something to give to your best friend.

Eric was simple.

He wasn't exactly all that big on expressing what he wanted as he was happy with whatever was given to him, which was why it was almost a challenge for you every year to be attentive of his words and things that he’s had eyes on for a while. Because of this, you made it your goal every Christmas that was spent together to be sure that it was a gift that he would’ve mentioned unintentionally but would’ve hinted that he wanted it.

You suddenly end up at a shelter that was right beside the mall and look at the little animals that were looking for new homes to belong to, remembering all the times that you and Eric had visited a dog cafe this year. For all the times that he mentioned about wanting a dog to keep in your apartment to keep one another company when the other wasn’t there, you had the idea to adopt a golden retriever that had eyes that reminded you of his bright ones.

After signing the adoption papers and looking over papers for immunizations, you agreed to come back tomorrow to pick up your new furry friend as you decided to finally go for a quick coffee break at a nearby cafe. The three of you sat by the window in peace, feeling as though today had already gone by so quick when the events of yesterday in your bedroom started to cloud your thoughts.

It wasn’t likely for him to hide something from you when it came to relationships, and you wondered why he didn’t come to you sooner about it. You also then felt selfish as you didn’t like the idea of him liking someone else because of your own mixed emotions towards him and his flirtatious actions.

There was never any established words between the two of you whenever you exchanged cheesy lines or words of endearment that wouldn’t be seen as normal between best friends, but you wanted to believe that you two were more than that because you shared an apartment together. However, you began to ponder on the idea longer than you had wanted to, because now you were wondering who he might’ve been talking about the other day in your bedroom as you were pitying yourself over the unrequited feelings that you held for your best friend.

“Hey, do you know if Eric has told you guys who he likes?” You ask the two boys that were now looking at you in confusion, giving each other looks before turning to you with their drinks back onto the table.

“I thought that you guys were dating? Are you guys not?” Hyunjae mumbles and his words sent heat up to your cheeks as you were the one that was now flustered at the very thought of your friends assuming that you both had been going out.

Did that go for the rest of them?

Shaking your head slowly in response, you watch as their eyes widen into saucers and it seemed as though lightbulbs had been going off in their heads once you clarified the situation between both you and Eric, making the atmosphere quieter than it already was. Luckily it didn’t last long considering Kevin was the one that broke the silence that was filling up and invading your thoughts of why nobody asked about it.

“It makes sense now, for all the times that he talks about you and Hayoung from calculus.” Kevin says answering your thoughts and you feel your heart sink into your chest at his words, realizing that it was true that he liked someone else.

Maybe it was too selfish of you to bribe for his love with a dog, you think to yourself as a frown was now drawn at the corner of your lips at the thought of the dreadful rejection that you would inevitably face. You wondered how badly you’d be heartbroken after his rejection for your feelings, in which you thought that maybe this was a bad timing to tell him and not go home for the holidays.

It’d be better to ignore him than to face him at all.

“So he likes Hayoung?” You speak up quietly, looking at them while trying to not let your emotions falter the atmosphere, however you could tell that from the looks that they were giving you, one that you knew too well as empathy and pity, that you were in too deep into your own heart.

“I wouldn’t blame him anyways. Good for him.” You whisper and take a sip of the drink that was now bitter on your taste buds, trying to bite back the tears that were threatening to spill from your own eyes at your own selfishness.

“Y/N-”

“It’s fine, guys. I’ll be okay.” You reply and give them a weak smile that doesn’t meet your eyes, because you know that eventually you should tell him the thoughts that cloud your mind more than it should’ve.

You were in love with your best friend, and you hated yourself for never telling him in the first place.

Day Four

“Thank you, I hope that you have a good rest of your afternoon!” You grinned and waved to the shelter owner before taking your new golden retriever friend into your arms to bring into your car.

It was the afternoon before Eric’s birthday that you were finally bringing your gift for him back to your apartment as you were giggling at the excited pup that was trying to give you kisses on your cheek. You let her down onto snow and watched as she took some time exploring the cold snow that was beneath her paws before happily skipping back to where you stood as you crouched down to scratch behind her ears.

“Today is going to be fun huh, Byeol?” You whisper, looking at the way that her golden fur resonated the bright stars that you were so used to seeing at night whenever you couldn’t sleep.

Your plan for today was ideally to surprise him with Byeol, hoping that maybe he would love her as much as you already did in the short span she got familiarized with you. The only change in your plan was that you had forgotten he was conditioning today at the batting place, making you want to give Byeol to him earlier than you had planned.

Maybe this time you’d be able to find the guts to tell him with Byeol there with you.

Already driving to where you knew that he would be conditioning near your campus, you hummed to yourself while pretending to make a conversation with Byeol, hoping that the golden retriever’s presence could ease your nerves at the moment. There were a million scenarios that were already playing out in your head as you were scared for what was yet to come when you would by then arrive. However, all you were scared of was his reaction for when you would tell him, since he was your best friend overall before anything else.

You make it to the nearby gymnasium with Byeol in your arms, shushing her quietly as you wanted for her to be a surprise for when you had found Eric by the batting cages, but for some reason you felt a bit breathless.

He was easily recognizable as you could tell who your best friend was immediately by his amazing skills considering he was the ace, but there was something that felt off. You were most definitely feeling the familiar butterflies that fluttered in your stomach, but there was someone that approached him first when he went on a short breather before you could even make yourself visible.

“Youngjae! You did really great!” A girl squeals and based on her tone and appearance from where you stood, you knew that it was Hayoung.

Oh.

“What are you doing here, Hayoung? I didn’t expect for you to be here, since I thought you did student council?” He had asked her with his hands on his hips when she gave him a small shrug before moving closer to him so that they were now only inches apart.

You felt like someone had stuck something into your heart and twisted it tight enough for the dulling ache to appear in it. Of course Hayoung would be here, you think to yourself, as you think that he must’ve invited her to watch him practice and condition to win her over that way, making you feel even more hurt from the thoughts that were now reentering your mind.

“I have heard from the grapevine that you had liked me, and I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go on a date since I liked you too?” You hear Hayoung ask him slowly and watch as she walks up to him with a smile on her face as she looks at him with a soft smile on her face, making your heart strings pull at the sight of it in agony.

Deciding to head back to your apartment, you left the scene as Byeol continues to walk with you back home in the chilly air. You think to yourself in that moment that you were right about your thoughts, about how you never would have stood a chance considering he had only seen you as a best friend and nothing more.

And it hurt knowing that there was nothing you could do to possibly change his mind.

Eric, on the other hand, was looking at Hayoung in confusion as she was still looking at him with a smile, when he had suddenly let out a quiet no. Her face scrunched up at the response as she was confused as to why he would say it, but there was something in him that knew it didn’t feel right, even if he had told his friends that he liked Hayoung.

The only reason why he had told them that he liked her in the first place was to lie about his feelings towards you, knowing that they wouldn’t be reciprocated with the miscommunication you both had about unrequited love.

“Hayoung, I don’t like you in the way that you think I do,” He says slowly and watches as her face then contorts to one of sadness until she gives him a weak smile as he thinks that maybe she knew why.

“You’re in love with Y/N, aren’t you?” She whispers in a quiet tone, making Eric feel guilty about the way that he was rejecting her when he was admitting in that moment that he actually did fall in love with you more than he should’ve been.

It was as though a flip as switched as he suddenly had the urge to go find you and leave the indoor batting range, wanting to talk to you instead before it was too late to even say it.

“Yes, yes I do love Y/N.”

Day Five

Eric is sprinting his way past the cold December night back to your apartment as he was tightly clutching onto his baseball gear from conditioning. He knows that although it was less than forty degrees outside while it was beginning to sprinkle light specks of snow, he shouldn’t be running this late in this weather.

However, the events of earlier had finally clicked as he was still running to your shared place with his heart beating loudly in his chest.

The apple watch that he adorned on his wrist had shown that it was already five minutes before midnight, making him think that you could possibly still be awake doing something if you were watching a drama like you usually would on a Friday night. He began to wish that maybe it wasn’t too late for him to tell you everything that was going on in his mind while his thoughts were running at half a million miles per hour.

It doesn’t take him much longer to finally arrive at your apartment complex as he had darted up the stairs to rush and find you as quickly as he can. Although he might’ve been slightly shivering, he couldn’t help but continue to think about what you could say when he tells you that he had loved you.

Would you hate him for it, or would you actually reciprocate those same emotions?

When he unlocks the door to a dark apartment, he notices the dimly lit kitchen where there was a small cake waiting for him, a candle that was unlit as a note was visibly seen beside all of it. He checks the clock in your living room to realize that it was a little past midnight, the date underneath it illuminating that it was now the twenty second of December.

“Happy birthday, Sohn.”

He turns around almost immediately, nearly giving himself a whiplash because of it, to face you who was holding Byeol in your arms. There was a long beat of silence that passed by between you both, him being in shock that you had a new puppy in your arms and you noticing how he looked tired even in the darkness as the two of you continued to look at one another. It wasn’t until you noticed that he was slightly shivering where he had stood that made you snap out of it and blink back to reality.

“Eric, did you actually just run when it started snowing? You’re going to get sick, you idiot.” You say, almost bursting into shouts and put Byeol back onto the floor to grab him some warm blankets when you suddenly feel him grab your wrist gently.

Without another word, he goes in for a soft kiss on your lips and you hesitate for a moment as you realize what was going on. It didn’t take long for you to pull him back in for another kiss when you felt him slightly pull away, wanting to let him know with the kiss that your thoughts were exactly in line with his.

Even if these past five days of indirectly confessing to him were painful.

When you both finally pull away to collect your thoughts and breaths, he holds you close as his forehead rests on yours as you look up at him in curiosity, wondering where the sudden boldness of his actions had blossomed from. However, it was the sounds of Byeol barking that made you look down and giggle at the small golden retriever before picking her up into your arms again.

“I don’t think I’ll get sick, if I have you with me,” He whispers quietly, a small smile painting his lips as he looks into your eyes before looking down at Byeol, “Is this little puppy ours to keep?”

“She’s technically your birthday and Christmas gift, so yes,” You grinned as he carefully takes her away from your arms to hold into his, cooing softly at the beautiful fur coat when you realized what had just happened in the past few minutes, “Hey, why did you kiss me? What if I get sick too?”

“Then I guess we’ll both spend our Christmas sick, but with cuddles, kisses and our new baby as a couple. How does that sound sweetheart?” He muses, making heat rush up to your cheeks as his lips were now somewhat hovering right over yours when you quickly pecked his lips cheekily before grinning to yourself while crossing your arms in front of your chest.

“I suppose it wouldn’t be a bad idea, since my best friend will finally be my boyfriend this year.”

[aquamoonchaii]

Johnny // Valentine’s Special Drabbles <3

gif credits to its owner (if it’s yours let me know :D)

genre: fluff, cheesy

pairing: johnny x oc

charlie’s notes: for valentine’s day i decided to write cheesy drabbles! i’m going to celebrate my lovely friends!! this is for you @hyuckhearts​! and for me hahahah <3

““Listen to me, I’m so close to choke you so please, stop.”  

“Close as in losing patience or as in actually reaching my neck? I don’t think it's the latter one though.” Johnny laughs at your annoyed whine as he keeps tickling your side as you try to put the facial mask on him.

“Dude, sit down already.”

“Did you just dude me?” Johnny gasps and lets himself flop on the couch, you put the facial mask on his face and laugh as you nod. “That burns! How can you dude me? I’m your baby!”

You shrug as he keeps whining, you put a facial mask on your own face and sit next to him. “Works every single time, baby.”

“Now give me a kiss or the burnt part of my heart won’t heal.” You laughed at his dramatic statement and shook your head. “Nuh uh, wait 20 minutes after we take off the facial masks.” He stomps his feet. “That’s why I don’t like facial masks.”

“It’s okay baby. I’ll give you all the kisses you want after this.” He looks at you and smiles widely, he is thankful because you didn’t ask why he was upset earlier. Instead of asking him if he was alright and trying to make him talk it out, you greeted him with your special cozy hug and with a wide smile. No words about it.

After your comforting hug, he went to your shared room and he plops down on the bed with a sigh, he totally forgot to pick up his revealed photos and he was really excited to get them, his schedule was just so hectic today. Loose shirt and sweatpants are a go-to now. When he is ready to discuss with you about dinner, he finds the revealed photos on the night table with his favorite chocolate on them. No matter how stressed he felt, it all vanished with this detail you did for him, he realizes the chocolate has a post-it. I didn’t look I promise <3

He smiles widely at it. Well, you better not look at them because it has some funny pictures of you- that he promised he would delete- and of course you two doing the usual crazy stuff. As he looks at the photos, he realizes all the moments you two have shared: your faces with flour as you made gingerbread cookies for Christmas, your laughs as you try to sing in a foreign language for both of you, the time you step on a chair to kiss his forehead, when you took pictures of him trying to cook, pictures of you with his family, different photos of your casual long walks and trying new restaurants and the last photo is just so beautiful it makes him smile: you are smiling widely as you show him a tiktok of puppies in your pajamas with a messy bun, that’s his favorite photo. That smile is so genuine he is keeping it forever. He puts your picture in his wallet.

You didn’t have to say anything to cheer him up, he goes to the kitchen ready to hug you tightly, he is fine now. No words, your presence is enough. Until you chase him with a facial mask on your hands.

[forasecondtherewedwon]

Do You Tree What I Tree?

Pairing: Peter Parker x Michelle Jones (Spideychelle) Rating: T Word Count: 8730

For @justmattycakes​! Happy holidays!!! Massive thanks to @spiderman-homecomeme for organizing this Spideychelle Secret Santa!

Summary: Home from their various colleges for winter break, MJ and her friends make a day out of going to cut down their own Christmas trees. Being alone in the woods—just her, Peter, and an axe—seems like the perfect opportunity to admit that her feelings for her friend have changed.

“Wine and cider!” Peter announces, jabbing a finger at the car window as they pass a rustic-looking roadside sign.

MJ smirks to herself. His touch will probably leave a smudge on the glass, which Flash will painstakingly wipe clean later. She likes Flash much more now than she did in high school—they all do—but she likes to build up a little vindictiveness towards him in advance, for when he inevitably says or does something douchey.

“Whine inside her, is that what you’d do if you could actually get a girlfriend?” Flash asks immediately. Sweet justification for MJ, though she rolls her eyes.

Flash is driving, but Betty trusts his skill enough to smack his arm from the passenger seat, then turn to smile back at Peter.

“That sounds nice. We should definitely stop on the way back.”

“Yeah,” Ned pipes up. “Maybe they’ll have a fireplace too, where we can thaw our fingers.”

“Babe, I won’t let your fingers get cold.”

“Aw, babe,” he croons, reaching over his girlfriend’s shoulder where she sits in front of him to tangle their fingers together.

“Back to your intense lack of dateability,” Flash persists. MJ swears his original asshole persona comes out so much more whenever he slides behind the wheel of his dad’s Cadillac Escalade. “Are you having a lonely winter, Parker? With only your cold lab bench to keep you warm?”

Next to MJ, Peter sighs and mutters, “Same old Flash.” She thinks he says it only to himself, but he darts a look at her and they share a smile.

“Well, I don’t have your L.A. weather,” he allows, artfully changing topic.

Flash will talk for an hour straight about the numerous perks of attending UCLA, including the constant sunshine, the short-shorts, and the absence of his current listeners. The last they all recognize to be a blatant lie, but they like him enough to let him get away with it. MJ has a special sympathy for Flash in those moments; she’s still growing from the girl she was when they were all at Midtown together, when she found it so much easier to edge away from other people or, when she did interact, to speak defensively, insultingly, and with liberal use of the middle finger. Her communication skills have flourished with not being able to see these people in person every day. She’s actually amazed with how she’s clung to them, certain she’d failed to develop the kind of solid relationships people were supposed to form in high school and that she’d just stagger forward through her fine art degree (PoliSci minor) with a wild hope of connecting to other humans through the doodles that she’s developed into graceful sketches, from sketches to oil paintings with sweep and verve.

The five of them are in their second year at their respective centres of learning now and it feels really nice to gather after living by too-brief text exchanges, missed calls, and videocalls that somebody’s roommate inevitably arrives home in the middle of, loud and invasive. When MJ’s speaking to Ned or Flash, they can push through. They have the boisterousness and, in Ned’s case, natural good nature, to conduct two separate conversations at the same time. Betty prefers to hang up and try at a better time, when they can speak uninterrupted. Peter’s different from all of the above. MJ always sees how he blushes, as though he’s being caught talking to her. It makes her flush in return. There’s no reason for them not to be as close as either of them are with any of the others, but conversations with him make her feel different. Without meaning to, their voices lower and they wander away from whatever topic they start with; on some nights, into the most intimate tracks of their inner lives. She gets why he feels caught to be interrupted because it’s disorienting for her too, being dragged back to the larger world, hearing a voice other than his in her ear. She likes traditional phone calls with him the best because she can lie in bed with her phone pressed to her ear and he doesn’t have to know.

“Are we almost there?” Ned says when Flash pauses in his rhapsodizing of Venice Beach.

MJ, sitting in the middle of the backseat, watches her friend unlock her phone and check the map.

“Yes. Under two miles to go.”

“And we’re super sure about this place?” Ned checks.

“Mhmm. A friend of a friend in my French workshop went last year and got the most spectacular Fraser fir,” Betty assures him. “I saw it at her Christmas party. That’s the one you couldn’t go to because you got the flu, remember?”

“Ugh,” he agrees.

“We passed a tree farm awhile ago,” Peter ventures. “That wasn’t it?”

“Betty told me the owners of that farm own this lot too. It’s cheaper to get your tree here because they don’t tend the lot in the same way,” MJ informs him. She likes the look on his face when he listens. She likes the feel of his leg bumping against hers as they traverse the uneven gravel sideroad.

“Yeah, I think I’ll be making up the cost difference paying for a paint job. I can hear the stone chips!” Flash complains. As if he’s ever paid for so much as a tank of gas.

“It’s an adventure, moron,” she says.

“I wasn’t prepared for stone chips.”

“I told you everything in an email last week, when we were planning this,” Betty calmly reminds him. “We should all be prepared.”

It isn’t visible to her right now, but MJ knows her friend has a shiny, compact saw at her feet, tucked into a neat black case, looking bizarrely like a tennis racket. Her own axe is trapped beneath Peter’s shoe so it doesn’t slide forward under Flash’s seat and slice the soles off his shoes. It’s quite sharp. She made sure.

“Listen,” Flash demands, “I’m the transport. Someone else can take care of the less significant details.”

“That is so fucking dumb,” Peter mumbles.

“What?”

“I said, I hope your feet don’t go numb,” he says more loudly. MJ turns her head, like she’s trying to follow the gentle backwards sweep of falling snow with her eyes when she’s really trying to hide her smile from Flash’s suspicious gaze in the rear-view mirror. “Did you wear waterproof boots and warm socks?”

“Of course. About to make winter my bitch.”

Betty twists to catch MJ’s eye.

“You wanna take this one?”

“Go for it.”

While Betty educates Flash on why that is not an acceptable thing for him to say—not with two of his female friends in the car, or ever—MJ drums her fingers on her knees. Her mittens are piled in her lap for now; despite her natural inclination to insult Flash’s ride, it heats up nicely. Plus, she’s tucked between Peter and Ned. She glances to her right to check on the latter and finds him huffing a warm breath on the window. He traces his finger through the resulting condensation, drawing a heart and writing ‘B+N’ in the middle. MJ glances at Peter and he’s already looking at her.

“So, tree?”

“Yeah,” she says. “I’ve been told to keep it under six feet. A measuring tape and a ladder might’ve been helpful, but there wouldn’t have been anyplace to put the ladder once we got the trees on the roof of this thing.” She smacks the SUV’s ceiling and Flash goes, “HEY!”

“You can just choose a taller one,” Peter suggests, “and then cut it shorter.”

“I feel bad about the waste though. It’s a living thing.”

“I can help you with that.”

“Oh yeah?” MJ’s genuinely curious. She knows May prioritizes Hanukkah customs to keep Peter’s connection to both his ethnoreligious traditions and his lost love ones strong, so she doesn’t know how a Christmas tree fits into that.

“Right before you guys picked me up, May had an idea. She thought it might be nice just to get some pine branches for, like, generic winter decorating and to make the apartment smell good.”

“That’s a really good idea.”

“Yeah. I was gonna grab scraps from where other trees had been cut down, but I can get them off whatever tree you pick instead. Or you can. You have the axe.”

“I’ll give you a turn with it if you help me drag my tree back to the car,” MJ bargains with a smile.

“I can definitely help.”

Of course he can. He could probably carry a dozen trees if he felt like it. Over his head. With all the roots and clumps of frozen earth still attached. But the thought of him hauling the tree back with her rather than for her is something she appreciates. As she nods, she gets the fluttery feeling she’s been experiencing more and more whenever he’s called her this term. Their calls have gotten longer. A younger version of herself would be amazed at the way she can now talk for hours without noticing the time slipping past. And it never feels wasted. Actually, when they aren’t talking, MJ misses Peter. She can’t completely put it into words and so she hasn’t. What she’s done, besides continue to answer every time he calls, is offer him a chance to swing the axe she brought. Romantically, there’s room for improvement.

Their overlapping winter breaks are going to end in another week and she’s scared the calls, as treasured as they’ve become to her, won’t be enough.

“There!” Betty cries. She flings her arm across the dash to point.

“That’s the woods,” Flash says, brushing her off.

“No, that’s the driveway! You’re going to pass it!”

The jarring, inelegant jerk of the wheel as he takes Betty’s directions at the last moment tips Ned into MJ and MJ into Peter. They all groan in discomfort, but Flash seems supremely pleased with himself as he straightens the tires. Off the gravel, their passage between the trees is muffled by the packed snow on the laneway other cars have driven over. There’s a dusting on top as today’s thin flurry continues to fall. As she sits up straight following Flash’s terrible Baby Driver impression, MJ feels Peter’s hand on her back, through her coat, and her face gets hot. Unable to meet his eyes in thanks, she leans towards Ned instead and the two of them stare out at the picturesque scene where low drifts spill over the ground and every pine, spruce, and fir—all dusted in white—looks like the perfect Christmas tree.

“Hats on,” Betty instructs as Flash pulls to a stop next to a pickup truck with a tarp already laid out in its bed, awaiting a tree. “Shoelace check. Gloves and mitts secure.”

“You sound like you’re prepping us to jump out of an airplane,” Flash laughs.

He swings his door open while Betty’s trying to get back into her winterwear checklist with the rest of them, letting in a gust of cold air that disturbs the warmth MJ’s hoarded as well as Betty’s good temper. She reaches across the center console and shoves Flash with both hands, pushing him straight out of the vehicle with a “WHOA!”

Betty’s nonchalant as she flips her mirror down and adjusts the positioning of her pompom hat before stepping out of the SUV herself. Peter and Ned pile out, laughing, and MJ climbs out Peter’s side. Flash is next to the car, brushing himself off.

“I’m going to get sick,” he pouts.

“Say cheese!” Ned encourages, snapping a picture as Betty runs into shot to pose next to her victim, cupping his face between her gloved hands.

“Maybe this’ll make him change his mind about the cider place,” MJ notes to Peter hopefully.

“I feel like we’d be stopping there no matter what,” he muses. “It was either making Flash fear hypothermia or Betty sneaking back to the car first and tampering with his brake line or something.”

“So, which way looks good, babe?” Ned asks his girlfriend.

As she told them, this lot isn’t the manicured family attraction the last place was. There aren’t any employees standing around—easily spotted even as they drove past the tree farm down the road in their orange crossing-guard-style vests—or a map marking which areas are which type of tree. There’s just sort of a main track that’s been tramped down by passing feet leading between trees. It’s easy to see for a ways, but beyond that, the forest grows denser. MJ knows Betty did her homework and can identify tree varieties, and she doesn’t actually care which type she gets. She’s here for the experience, and for the idiot next to her who gives her a thrill every time the nylon sleeves of their winter coats rush against each other.

“Hmm,” Betty says, and strides forward through the narrow entrance. From there, things fan out. She taps her bow saw, now loose, against the side of her leg. “Well, what would everyone like to do?”

“I’m going wherever you are,” Ned vows. She shoots him a soft smile.

“Me too,” Flash decides. “You’ll get us in and out of here fast so we can get warm. Not like Parker, who’ll probably get lost in the first five minutes.”

“What?” Peter asks, insulted. “Will not.”

“Oh yeah? How’s your sense of direction without that robot lady in your head?”

“Karen is not a robot lady, she’s an AI.”

“Same diff.”

“It is not. A robot lady is like what they have on The Jetsons.”

“Whatever. Point is, without your GPS, I don’t trust you.”

“Well,” Peter counters, “we can just look at our phones.”

“Already tried that,” Flash informs him. “I don’t get a signal out here.”

Regardless, the rest of them check.

“That’s alright,” Betty persists, trying to be chipper to maintain group morale, MJ’s sure. “It’s daylight, the snow’s not coming down hard, and nobody’s going off alone. Now, Flash, Ned, and I are going that way.” She points, then glances from MJ to Peter. “Do you guys want to stick with us, or…?”

MJ opens her mouth and looks to Peter, shuffling beside her and doing some sort of best-friend telepathy with Ned, based on the stupid, scrunched up looks on their faces. Is he going to say something? He’ll probably want to stay with Ned. It’ll be weird if she speaks up for both of them. But if she doesn’t, when are they going to talk, just the two of them? Since they’ve all been back in the city, everything’s been done in a group—buying presents for friends and relatives, going skating, getting hot chocolate, attending Flash’s ugly holiday t-shirt party (L.A.-themed, so no sweaters allowed). The woods though. The woods are quiet and friendly and private. Snow muffles sound, fresh air and cold wake her up and fill her lungs until they burn with everything she’d say to Peter if she just had this opportunity. No Ned and Betty hanging back to offer encouraging looks, no Flash to ruin everything with a terribly timed innuendo. MJ just needs Peter. Just her and Peter. Please, dork, she thinks, don’t say Ned.

The words come from her.

“I think Peter and I’ll go that way,” she declares, nodding sharply in a direction that isn’t Betty’s.

“Yeah,” Peter adds.

Oh, thank god, MJ thinks.

“He’s gonna get you lost,” Flash warns. He’s already stamping his feet like he’s freezing to death on the spot, though the cold isn’t that bad with the tree cover. “Then he’ll go nuts in the woods.”

“I have an axe,” MJ reminds him flatly. She glances at Peter. “Bring it.”

Peter snorts a laugh.

“No one will be re-enacting anything that remotely resembles The Shining,” Betty instructs. “Meet back here in, how long, do you think?”

“Depends,” Flash says. “How long should we wait before declaring those two missing and sending out a search party, of which I will not be a member, but will be happy to direct from the comfort of the Escalade with a hot drink in my hand and my feet against the heating vent.”

“Dude, don’t do that,” Ned pleads. “You’ll make the whole car smell like your feet.”

“My ride, my rules.”

“Should we just…?” Peter asks MJ. She nods.

“Let’s go.”

“Ok, um, an hour!” Betty decides.

Peter gives her a thumbs up and the two of them follow the path as it diverges, then cut away again, wading through ankle-deep snow where no other tree-hunter has walked today. The sound of Flash goading the other two fades. MJ stops for a minute and turns to watch them march into the trees. She takes a deep breath in and out.

“You good?” Peter asks.

“Yeah.” She hefts the axe onto her shoulder to look more lumberjack-esque (and so she doesn’t slice it into her calf as she walks). “Come on.”

Despite promises to share, she refuses to surrender the tool any sooner than she must. Soon enough, she’s huffing, face passing through damp clouds of her own breath and chilling her flushed cheeks and frozen nose. Balancing her temperature out here is a tricky thing; as long as they keep moving, as they are, she stays warm, but with Peter crunching along in the snow beside her, she’s too warm. MJ bites her mitt between her teeth and unzips her coat a little to let the brisk air circulate around the back of her sweaty neck.

“You’re not gonna catch cold?” Peter asks solicitously.

She shakes her head.

“Ok,” he says, “but it’d be just like you to get sick and say nothing about it while Flash complains all the way home that he is sick when nothing’s wrong with him.”

“The only thing he’s suffering through is his body’s natural rejection of us. He spent too many years thinking he was better than we are just to end up right here, hacking down Christmas trees together.”

“Probably caroling,” Peter guesses.

“Probably. He claims his favourite holiday song is the instrumental version of ‘Carol of the Bells,’ but that has to be a lie.”

“My money’s on something super cheesy.”

“Mine too,” MJ agrees with a grin.

Gradually, she slows, taking in the pine trees around them. Her guesstimation is that some of these go up to ten or twelve feet, but there are shorter options tucked in between. Younger, or those that maybe didn’t get as much light as they grew. She wipes the back of her mittened hand across her forehead, pushing her slipping fleece headband back where it’s been sliding forward.

“So,” she asks, “any of this look good to you?”

She lowers her gaze to find Peter hastily averting his from her face.

“That one?” he says, pointing to a tree at random.

“Peter, that one’s longer than Flash’s SUV.”

“Oh. Right. Um, ok…”

Focusing now, she watches his upturned face and the serious expression that sinks into it, the way snow’s been sinking into her hair. Maybe Betty was right about wearing a hat, though Betty’s hair is also significantly flatter than hers and thus more conducive to hat-wearing. Well, it’ll be fine. They aren’t stranded or anything and the snow’s not getting to them as much as it was when they had to walk across the clearing to reach this stand of trees. They’re sheltered here. As MJ hoped, it’s quiet.

Instead of asking Peter how much of his remaining holiday he’d like to spend with her, or how he feels when she forces him to hang up the phone first (he must notice), or why, exactly, he was so quick to agree to go off into the woods with her when he could just as easily have insisted they all stay together, she criticizes the first tree he takes genuine interest in.

“Crooked.”

“Too dense.”

“Too sparse.”

“Weird empty area.”

“I swear to god, something moved in there, Peter. I do not want a fucking National Lampoon Christmas, ok? My mom will freak out if I bring a live squirrel into our home.”

He’s laughing at her when they finally spot one that looks pretty good: shorter but not squat, full but with soft, long needles rather than nasty ones bent on treating them both to non-consensual acupuncture if they stand too close. It doesn’t look sickly or as though it’s currently inhabited by birds or rodents.

“So young,” MJ does note, assessing its size in comparison to a taller tree a yard away. “Oh well.” She raises the axe and adjusts her grip.

Peter goes scrambling backwards, almost slipping, then tries to pretend he was only calmly moving out of the way, that he is not afraid of the radius of her swing. When he starts babbling about how quickly his body could probably heal from an axe wound (though, with all the crazy shit he gets up to, that’s actually not something he’s experienced yet), she finally laughs at him.

“Relax,” she says. “You can just hold the branches up at the bottom while I chop through the trunk.”

Fearless—and even more determined to prove it now that she’s given Peter a scare—MJ drops to the snow and wriggles under the tree, as close as she thinks she should be while still being able to swing the axe. Peter’s hand makes her jump. She whips her head around, nearly getting a clump of needles in the eye, but he’s only skimming her coat by accident as he gathers the lowest branches away from her. As she asked. Right, he’s not touching her on purpose and he’s not even doing the not-touching activity on purpose but because she told him to. He’s trying to help. Frustrating.

She props herself up on her elbow and takes an awkward whack at the tree. The blade sinks into the bark like it’s supposed to, but it’s still somehow surprising to feel the give. MJ takes a few more tentative swings and the axe sinks deeper, requiring some force to yank it out again. She grunts and hears Peter crouch down behind her.

“Is it going ok? Can I do anything?”

“Umm, maybe be prepared to pull the top of the tree in the other direction so it doesn’t fall on my head. I think I’m almost halfway.”

“Yes, please don’t make it fall on your head,” he requests.

“It won’t as long as you do your job,” she promises gruffly, hewing in once more.

“Do you think this would be easier with a saw?” Peter’s voice is higher now, coming from the other side of the tree. Though the branches fell when he changed position, she can feel them only resting lightly on her as he holds the top of the tree away. Probably standing on his toes.

“Don’t say anything against my axe.”

“I’m not! I was just thinking out loud!”

“A saw,” MJ informs him with another swing, “is not as badass.”

“Good point.”

But is he just agreeing because the tree’s starting to topple and the final swings to break through it take her blade closer to his shins as he dances out of the way? Maybe.

She clambers out and, with the tree now on an angle, is able to chop from an upright position, down on a diagonal until she buries her axe in the snow, then yanks it free.

“Oh, you can lay it down,” MJ tells Peter when she realizes he’s standing there with his arms full of tree, face hidden as he keeps his head pulled back from the branches.

He does so gently and then they stand there in triumph. MJ hurls her axe into the ground.

“Would you quit that?” Peter requests, jumpy.

She grins.

“Sorry. Just really feeling this.”

“I can tell.”

They took their time making their selection and can do one of two things next: either trim the branches for Peter to take home to May right here or drag the tree back to Flash’s SUV and perform the necessary amputations there. They do neither. MJ shrugs her shoulders and flexes her fingers inside her mittens, exorcising the tension of gripping the axe’s handle. She turns, glancing casually around, but really looking for something invisible—a reason to stay. A rational delay before rejoining the others.

“Hold still,” Peter says, as she’s looking back the way they came. The way she thinks they came. They stomped around this area, circling every tree, for a while, so the footprints are a little confused.

“What? If you try to tell me there’s a squirrel in my hair, I’m not going to believe you.”

He smiles softly.

“No squirrel, just snow.”

She stares at her friend warily as he approaches, then sweeps snow from her headband. That’s when she realizes one side of her coat is soaked from lying on the ground. It can’t get through though, it’s just the outer layer. Still, Peter walks a complete circle around her, wiping snow away.

“There,” he says.

MJ sighs.

“Peter…”

“Yeah?”

His face is so open as he looks at her, flakes flying around and between them. Her heart squeezes almost painfully because there have been so many days of not seeing his face without the assistance of a screen. Now that he’s here, it’s too much.

“Umm… how many branches do you think May wants?”

MJ crouches and puts her back to him, feigning being deep in concentration over the fresh Christmas corpse splayed out in the snow. She feels like a detective at a crime scene. Peter exhales heavily behind her, then drops to her level.

“More is probably better, right? She’ll probably take some in to work or try to give them to the neighbours anyway.”

“True.” They both reach for the axe. “Go ahead,” MJ says, quickly withdrawing her hand.

Peter shaves off what he thinks May might like—plus at least an armload more—in quick slices and snips.

“Jeeze, this thing is sharp.”

“I know,” she says proudly.

“I want one. For the suit, I mean. You think that could work?”

“Well, you already have a bunch of less probable-sounding features, so why not a spider with an axe made of webs?”

“Ned’s gonna be so excited when I tell him.”

“I’m excited,” she says, maybe a little too forcefully. It’s not a competition. She doesn’t think he’s already forgotten about her. There’s just some kind of glitch in her brain-to-mouth connection that no Spidey tech could possibly fix.

“I think we’re ahead of schedule,” Peter tells her.

He pulls out his phone to check the time while MJ cleaves into the fallen tree’s trunk, cutting it down to a size more suited to transport and her family’s apartment.

“We could do this in two trips,” he presses. “Take the tree and come back for the branches? Or vice versa?”

“I think we can manage it in one.”

She glances at him and he looks mildly frantic.

“Or two,” MJ amends. “Two would be better.”

Are they finally going to talk? That has to be the reason for Peter stretching this out, doesn’t it? But he moves quickly to grip the lowest branches of the tree, down where MJ severed it, and she grabs those on the opposite side of the trunk. After a jerk to get it going, they slide the tree smoothly over the snow, leaving a fine trail of needles. It occurs to her, as they walk, that she was worried about this part on the way in here, that the tree might pick up dirt from where others have walked, but the ground looks fresh and sparkling in the sun. That’s not familiar.

“Peter? Are we going the right way?”

“What? Yeah. Aren’t we? We have to be. Because the sun was…”

He gestures very unconvincingly overhead and her heart plummets in her chest. For once, not because she’s scared of saying something about her feelings for him and hearing they aren’t reciprocated, but because what Peter’s not saying directly is that they might be lost. And the worst part of that scenario is Flash being right. No, no, no, Peter will not make Flash right, not today.

“It’s been snowing,” she reviews. Stupid and obvious, but facts are soothing to her. “How much do you think it’s snowed? Not that much, right? It can’t have. We must’ve just started walking the wrong way.”

“Definitely. Ok, let’s turn around.”

So, they swing the tree with them and strike out in the opposite direction, not going very quickly as they navigate the trees. They pass the stump they lately created and MJ plucks her axe from the snow on the way past. It just makes her feel better, having it.

Unfortunately, this way isn’t correct either.

“Alright,” she says slowly. “What the fuck.”

“Let’s leave the tree for a minute.”

They set it down. She realizes she’s sweating.

“How could we be lost? How could you be lost?”

“There aren’t exactly landmarks,” Peter says. “It’s just… trees.”

“Maybe we should’ve gone to a place with signposts and neat little rows.”

“That doesn’t sound like you.”

He wanders over to her, watching her with careful eyes.

“I wasn’t this cold when I called today an adventure.”

“Maybe you should zip your coat back up.”

But she’s too warm and uncomfortable to do that just to challenge how he’s calling her bluff.

“Are you scared?” he asks. “You don’t need to be scared. I think we did a lot of circling. We didn’t walk too far in any one direction. I could climb a tree and look around?”

“Climb a tree? One of these trees? The ones covered in snow with the thin branches and the spiky needles?”

“Hey,” Peter jokes, hitting her arm with his elbow, “you’re supposed to be cheering me on.”

“I…” She closes her mouth. He frowns.

“Is something wrong?”

“We’re lost and Flash is going to gloat.”

“Besides that.”

“You’re trying really hard to get us out of here.” That should be a compliment, a commendation, but it sounds accusing as it leaves her mouth. MJ feels on-edge, heart beating all wrong.

“…Should I not be?”

God, she’s being strange. She can feel herself being strange. Everything’s aligning to buy her more time and she’s panicking trying to work out what to do with it. The snow is falling softly all around and she’s auditioning to play the most awkward protagonist in the history of Hallmark holiday movies.

“Are you looking forward to going back?” MJ asks abruptly.

“To the car?”

“To school. In January.”

“Umm, kinda? I mean, it’s going well. But you know that, we talked about this stuff the other day when you and Ned were over at May’s.”

“Yeah.” She’s thinking, staring down at her cut tree, debating how to mention that there’s one thing they didn’t talk about, that she couldn’t bring up, because she felt strange about doing it with Ned there. She goes to continue, unsure of her phrasing, but ready to push onward, when Peter answers, looking thoughtfully up at the pale-grey snow clouds.

“It’s really nice to be home, but I also don’t like living in the past.”

He glances at her to see what she thinks. She’s noticed that he does that a lot, when they’re on a video call. Sometimes, she teases him about it—the way he makes certain assertions sound like questions because he wants her input, values her opinion, thinks of her as wiser than him (she is) though he’s the genius playing around at the upper end of the grading curve in all of his classes.

“Sorry, what were you gonna say?” he asks, spotting the unfinished thought in her expression, how she holds her eyebrows a little too tightly together.

MJ shakes her head.

“It’s nice to have you home.” As Peter’s beginning to smile, swaying slightly towards her, she rambles on, “It’s nice to have everyone home. I mean, I could go longer between having to see Flash in person, but what can you do, right? It’s worth it to have Ned home. And Betty. And you.”

She swallows.

“There!” he shouts, pointing past her. She squints.

“What is it?”

“Our tracks.”

Trusting his superior eyesight, MJ troops after him. Sure enough, their deep treads from earlier are still faintly present—now gentle indents as the snowfall works to even everything out again.

“But we don’t have to hurry back,” Peter says. She avoids his eyes.

“Except we probably do, now that we’ve wasted time being lost.”

“We were never actually lost.”

“Whatever you need to tell yourself so you can sleep at night, Spider-Man. Help me with the tree.”

He does, then hightails it back to collect May’s branches once MJ’s in the clearing with only the little trail left between her and the makeshift parking lot. She pulls her bounty along and through the gap, suddenly back with the rest of her friends.

“Did you manage to lose Parker out there?” Flash asks immediately. “Nice. Up top.”

She rolls her eyes instead of meeting his hand in a high five.

“He just had to go back for something,” MJ explains, expressly for the benefit of Ned and Betty.

“What’d he do, drop some of you guys’ sexual tension in the woods?”

Flushing with the sting in the air and self-consciousness, she walks past Flash. Just close enough to drag the tree over his feet and make him start whining about getting dirt on his blindingly-white designer snow boots. When his complaints cut off, she knows she’s in trouble. It’s like the sudden silence in a horror movie that you just know means nothing good.

“Never mind,” Flash says loudly. “Sexual tension present and accounted for.”

MJ whirls around to see Peter’s arrived and is staring at her with a pleading look on his face. Or he was, until Flash’s words sunk in. Surely, Peter’s fast enough to snatch his keys, toss them to Betty, and have them all climb into the SUV and wheel outta here, leaving Flash behind? But during the holidays? She’d feel bad. He’s lucky.

“Can we just get the trees loaded?” Peter asks, moving to help MJ pull hers closer to demonstrate that it’s not so much a question for Flash as a demand for him to shut the hell up. Flash probably doesn’t understand. He’d need tact for that.

“Fine. And not a scratch on the Escalade,” Flash commands.

He opens the trunk to reveal a set of carefully folded tarps; they’re too ratty to actually belong to him, so MJ’s betting that they’re Betty’s or Ned’s. Those two went on a big, romantic camping trip together right after high school graduation, so these could be remnants. The first tarp crinkles in Peter’s hands as he pulls it out and unfolds it. Beneath the second—removed by Ned—there’s a Burberry blanket protecting the SUV from the tarps. Honestly. Momentarily forgetting about their awkward moment in the forest, MJ catches Peter’s eye and nods at the blanket. The two of them start laughing and soon, Betty and Ned have spotted them and are laughing too. Flash is perplexed, which, as always, is when he gets grouchy and defensive.

“Can we pick up the pace, people?” he requests. “I need a hot drink and an even hotter fire. I can barely feel my fingers.”

“Wait.” MJ frowns and pauses in assisting Peter with dragging the longest tarp onto the roof of the SUV. “I have a tree, Ned and Betty each have trees… Flash, where’s your tree?”

She turns her head and notices Ned just cutting off a gesture of slicing a hand across his throat to insist on her not finishing that question. Betty sighs and explains.

“Flash’s service came back while we were out there.”

“Dude,” Peter huffs, stretching to reach and finish tugging the tarp into place, “you had service? You could’ve texted us to see if we were, I don’t know, lost.”

“This should come as no surprise to you, Parker,” Flash says snootily, “but I had other priorities.”

“Oh yeah?” MJ questions suspiciously.

“He went online and bought an artificial tree,” Betty says with a roll of her eyes.

“Sacrilege.”

“More like brilliance,” Flash corrects. “It has snow-encrusted branches, pre-strung lights, and the thing isn’t gonna die in a week, so it’s better for the environment.”

“Isn’t it plastic?” MJ checks in a slow voice, waiting for him to catch on.

“Yeah.”

“Then the process used to produce it created harmful emissions and when you find it next year and decide to throw it out because you’re no longer ‘feelin’ it’ or whatever excuse you have, it’ll go straight in the trash and from there to one of the many, many local and international landfills that house our city’s waste.”

“You’re pretty judgy for a girl who just fucking murdered a tree.”

“I did my research,” MJ counters easily. “This is a sustainably managed forest. They maintain the trees, protect new growth and transplant saplings every spring to ensure the health of not only the cash crop, but the forest as a whole. Pre-light that, dickhead.”

Feeling flustered, she goes to give Betty and Ned a hand with positioning their tree on the roof. MJ stands on the ledge offered by the open trunk and stabilizes the tree while the others guide it into position.

“Tension,” she hears Flash diagnose under his breath. He’s smart enough to not meet her eye when she glares down at him.

They encounter a small problem while loading the second tree: both Betty and Ned have selected especially full specimens. Side by side, they take up the entire roof, and MJ’s tree is still on the ground with Peter’s mountain of branches, waiting to be slung onboard.

“I don’t think it’ll fit,” Ned says after jumping into the air twice to take a look at the available space (none).

“Neither do I,” she agrees. “Guess it’s going in the trunk.”

“In the trunk?” Flash is there in a, well, flash. He slipped into the driver’s seat, ostensibly to doublecheck their route home, but really to start his seat-warmer and turn the Christmas radio station back on. His distress is juxtaposed against a jazzy rendition of ‘Winter Wonderland.’

“Yeah. There’s nowhere else.”

“Guys, please. Are you trying to get back at me for the sexual tension comment? It’s forgotten. I lied. No tension here. Cut the act and tell me that thing’s going on the roof with the others.”

“While ‘that thing’ is a capitalist nexus, it’s also a precious symbol of everything I love about Christmas,” MJ says firmly, “and it’s going in the trunk of this SUV.”

“Guys?” Flash glances at the other three, but nobody sides with him.

“Don’t worry, Flash,” Betty says kindly. “We won’t use the second tarp to go on top of the roof trees, we’ll line the trunk with it instead. There won’t be any needles, I promise.”

That is definitely not a promise she can make, and MJ’s sure her friend is aware, but she’s taking a shortcut to winning this standoff and MJ admires that. The placating seems to wash over Flash like the spirit of Christmas over Scrooge McDuck. Suddenly, he’s smiling.

“Yeah. We can do that. Of course. But.” Oh no. The smile’s warping. Flash is about to be an asshole again, MJ can see it coming fast on the horizon. “The tree’s going to take up more space than just the trunk.”

MJ peers into the SUV. Shit. He’s probably right.

“Oh,” says Betty, not getting the issue, “well, we can fold the seats down, right? The tree isn’t that tall. Come on, guys, we’ve had real problems. This is nothing!”

She beams at them and Ned wraps an arm around her, hugging her to his side.

“We’ll lose a seat in the back,” MJ says.

She’s profoundly annoyed by the satisfaction on Flash’s face as she’s the one to say the words, point out the obvious. Isn’t she always? It feels like her role in this friend group and she never minds that, never has until this very situation and its inevitable conclusion.

“Somebody’s gotta sit on somebody else’s lap,” Flash singsongs. “And it’s not me because I’m the driver!”

The other four look at each other.

“Betty,” Ned begins, “you and I could…”

“But she needs to be in the front to navigate,” Flash irritatingly points out, “and before you say it, you shouldn’t double up in the front. It’s not safe.”

Maybe they can back over him when they steal his ride and drive out of here, MJ theorizes. She sighs. Loudly. Vexedly.

“I’ll sit on Peter.”

She proceeds to make eye contact with none of them, just fishes a sloppy coil of rope out of the back and works with Betty to feed it over the trees and through the windows. Some cold air will blow into the SUV, but that won’t matter so much to her, she guesses, since she’ll have the benefit of Peter’s body heat. Who needs a seat-warmer when you can have an actual human lap? Ugh, no, not funny, but she tried to consider it in a way that doesn’t make her want to volunteer to sit in the trunk with her tree.

Finally, they lift her tree and Peter’s branches inside, position them, and shut the trunk. Flash is whistling ‘Carol of the Bells’ as he practically skips to the driver’s seat. Betty, far more compassionate, gives MJ a reassuring look before she gets in. Then Peter climbs into the back, taking the middle seat, and glances at her, lingering in the snow. She groans to herself and folds into the car as Ned gives her an encouraging pat on the back.

Maneuvering is awkward. Peter cranes his neck back like his whole body is leaning to make room for her, but it’s not possible—he’s already pressed back against the seat. She sits. He rustles beneath and behind her. Before she can panic and insist on walking home, Ned gets in and slams the door closed (Flash complains).

“Uh,” Peter starts, “do you wanna shift forward so I can buckle my—”

“Absolutely not. If we’re sharing a seat, we’re sharing a seatbelt. I don’t want to end this excursion by flying through the windshield when Flash swerves the car off the road because he sees a snowdrift that looks like a butt or something.”

“Hey! I’m an excellent driver,” he complains, starting the car.

“I could just, like, hold onto you?” Peter offers.

MJ’s heartbeat rockets. She presses the top of her head to the ceiling to ground herself.

“No. We’re using the seatbelt.”

Peter stretches it away from the seat and holds it for her to grab; she passes it back for him to fasten. The second it clicks into place, Flash throws the SUV into reverse and hits the gas. Peter must move his head away from behind hers because MJ’s genuinely surprised not to feel his nose break against the back of her skull.

“Excellent driver, huh?” she questions flatly.

“There was ice.”

“Sure there was.”

Flash winks at her in the rear-view mirror and instead of siding with her, MJ catches Ned chuckling.

“I’m sorry, but it’s funny. You guys look ridiculous seatbelted together,” he says.

But she doesn’t feel so much ridiculous as confused and on alert, swaying with Flash’s accelerations and decelerations (thankfully minor compared to how he started off). Every time, Peter’s hands jump to grab her: shoulders, waist, legs. Once, he grabs her hands and even though she still has her mittens on, dripping melting snow onto the seat on one side and the tree branch she’s clutching on the other, it’s startling.

“Sit still,” Peter tells her when she jerks out of his hold.

“You sit still.”

He laughs.

“I can’t go anywhere—you’re sitting on me.”

“Then try having less bony legs,” she suggests, though they both know the nerd has more muscle mass in one of his legs than the rest of the SUV’s occupants have in their entire bodies combined.

“Right up here!” Betty directs. “We have to pay.”

MJ sags gratefully into Peter, relaxed for the first moment of the short drive from the lot to the tree farm. She tenses up again when they pull in and Betty offers to be the one to hop out and pay for their trees. There is no reprieve from Peter’s lap. She hands over her cash to her friend with a sigh and listens while the trees are removed from the roof, shaken by a machine to rid them of loose needles, and replaced for transport home. When the trunk opens and the tree farm guy slides MJ’s little tree free, she shivers at the cold air blowing in.

“Take off your mitts and put your hands by the vent,” Peter suggests.

MJ looks around and sees that the only vent she can reach is the one their feet are bracketing, down by the floor. She fights the grip of the seatbelt to bend forward. Ah. Hot air on her freezing fingers, plus, she’s out of the draft coming through the open trunk.

“This is better. Thanks, dork.”

She glances back and spots the stricken look on her friend’s face as he watches her, still seated on his lap, but now bent over. MJ sits swiftly upright.

“I’m actually not that cold,” she says, spine rigid beneath her coat and her sweaters.

Peter sighs and, while Ned’s looking out the window to watch her tree get vibrated and wrapped, tentatively offers MJ his hands. If Ned notices that they’re holding hands when the SUV is completely repacked and they’re on their way to the place with the wine and cider, he doesn’t say a word about it. It’s shared body heat. It’s a survival tactic. That’s what MJ tells herself as she finds her and Peter’s fingers moving gently from a perfunctory clasp to intertwining.

They stay that way until Flash pulls off the road at the cider spot, which turns out to be an apple orchard. Well, more than just the orchard; there’s a whole barn here, but fancy, with a designated lot and possibly a restaurant inside.

“This is so cute!” Betty says.

MJ concentrates on shaking her hands out of Peter’s before Flash puts the SUV in park and turns around to see them.

The two of them are the last out of the car and she’s stiff with the silence, listening to their friends laugh and gripe about the cold (Flash) as they wait with Ned’s door open. Before MJ can push through her thoughts and fears to say anything, Peter’s arm comes around her. Her eyes widen. …And he unbuckles the seatbelt. Probably just because she was taking too long. She slips over into Ned’s vacant seat and is about to scramble out when Peter catches her hand. MJ turns.

“Will you tell them we’ll meet them inside?” he requests.

Heart hammering, she relays the message, then looks on as Ned and Betty hustle Flash through the doors before can make another of his unwelcome comments or otherwise interfere.

“I think we really need to talk,” Peter says, after MJ pulls the door closed to preserve what little heat is left in the vehicle.

“We talk all the time,” she argues. She thinks, Yes, please talk to me.

“About a lot of stuff. You know, most stuff.” He wedges his fingers under the edge of his hat to run them nervously through his hair.

“That’s a generalization, but a fair one.”

“But, you know, lately, I’ve been, uh, wishing that we could talk about…”

“…even more stuff?” MJ guesses, hopes.

“Yeah.”

“Me too.”

“You know, our schools aren’t that far apart,” he says, like it’s the first time he’s realizing this.

She smiles wryly.

“I’m aware. That’s why I came out for Thanksgiving first year when you couldn’t make it back to Queens. Even if we did eat take-out shrimp Pad Thai instead of homecooked turkey.”

“And,” Peter adds, “it’s why I showed up at your dorm to help you study for that midterm you were stressing about in October.”

“And why I picked up when you called me every night,” MJ says, quieter. He smiles softly.

“I was talking about the distance.”

Summoning her courage, she looks him right in the eye and lets her still-uncovered hand sneak back over his.

“What distance?”

“You’re my best friend,” Peter starts. “You and Ned.” MJ frowns. Oh shit. Shit, shit, shit, she’s misjudged this, seriously misjudged this.

“Oh. Well. Great. Cool.”

“No, MJ!” he says quickly, noticing the look on her face. He flips his hand under hers so their palms meet. “I’m definitely in love with you, I just mean… Well, oops, I guess I said it.”

She’s pretty impressed with her own control over her facial features—maintaining a slightly-happier-than-neutral expression—when half of her brain is setting off fireworks that seem to be landing and fizzing around on the other half. He’s in love with her. Definitely.

“For as fast as your mind works, your mouth always manages to get ahead of it,” she observes.

Peter’s expression goes from tortured and fumbling to sharp and decisive.

“That’s good advice.”

“What? That wasn’t advi—”

He darts forward and kisses her, hand emphatically clutching hers. There’s a humorous smack when their mouths separate.

“Oh my god,” Peter says, “I forgot to ask if it was ok to do that.”

MJ smirks.

“My only complaint is that you beat me to it when I’ve been trying to figure out how to do that all day.”

“I did wonder,” he admits with a small smile.

“And you couldn’t have helped me out?” she asks, exasperated.

“A big part of being friends with you is knowing you rarely need help. You’re good, like, ninety percent of the time.”

“What do you do the other ten percent?”

Peter shrugs.

“Kiss you and ask if you have plans for New Year’s? By the way, do you have plans for New Year’s?”

He tries to adopt a casual expression but now that MJ thinks about it, she can’t recall the last time her friend looked at her with anything like mild interest. He can’t pull it off anymore, if he ever could. Apparently, she wasn’t always watching that well, because she clearly didn’t know everything.

Peter loves her. He loves her.

“I have a feeling I’ll probably be available,” she tells him. “I have a bad habit of trying to be where you are.”

“I love that about you.”

MJ kisses him quickly, then shoves him away, nearly into the pine tree resting on his other side. Whoops. It’s just that she can feel how easy it would be to get caught up in this moment, and they’re still in the back of Flash’s SUV. People are waiting for them. She takes a deep breath and gives Peter a searching look.

“If we walk in there like this—” She shakes their clasped hands. “—what do I say?”

“Tell them your hands were cold.”

“I… I don’t want to hide it, I just…”

“I know. It’s ok. It’s new.”

“Yeah.”

Peter nods sympathetically. He’s her friend first; he’s not going to push her to speak before she’s ready. (He probably knows he couldn’t if he wanted to.)

She hauls the door open and they stride through the snowy parking lot together. The sun’s already struggling to come out and flakes whip high into the air, catching in the light. They step inside the building to see brightness streaming through the windows, their trio of friends crowded around a table. Flash seems to be making Ned sprinkle cinnamon into his hot apple cider while he films it—presumably to post for the enjoyment of the Flash Mob. (That’s still going. He has a shocking number of followers.) Betty turns and her gaze slips down to their joined hands. She smiles.

MJ has the excuse ready. When Flash and Ned glance over, she’s prepared to tell them her hands were cold.

She opens her mouth.

“Peter’s my boyfriend now.”

[altair-native]

My Top 10 Albums of 2020

Now that the longest and craziest year in history is finally over, I figured now would be a good time to reflect and look back at some positive things from 2020. Despite concerts and tours being cancelled, and many bands and artists postponing albums due to not being able to promote them, there was a lot of really fantastic music released this year. Here are some of my favorites!

Honorable Mention: Money Money 2020 Part II by The Network

Green Day members Billie Joe Armstrong, Mike Dirnt, and Tré Cool (plus some friends) brought back an old side project from 2003 this year called The Network. This album is a follow up to their debut album Money Money 2020, and was a huge surprise. I wasn’t sure where to put it on my top 10 list, but I still wanted to talk about it because it ended up being much better than the actual Green Day record we got this year. They experiment with lots of different sounds on this album, and while some of them are definitely meant to be satire, there are some seriously great songs on here that give me hope that future Green Day albums could be much better.

Favorite Song: Fentanyl

Now, on to the top 10:

#10 Last Room by waveform*

The first of many surprise additions to the list, Last Room is a really great album stocked full of songs that are all pretty short, but each stands out on its own. waveform* is really good at making songs that capture the listener’s attention. This is definitely a band that I want to hear more of, and I’m excited to dive deeper into their discography this year! 

Favorite Song: Miner’s Lullaby

   #9 Petals For Armor by Hayley Williams

After years of being in Paramore, Hayley Williams has finally released her first solo album! Paramore’s 2017 album After Laughter experimented with lots of different sounds, and was also a very personal record lyrically, so it’s no surprise that Hayley took a similar approach here. These songs are a way for her to open up about her life and branch out more and she succeeds on this record. Even if you’re not a fan of Paramore I highly recommend checking this one out.

Favorite Song: Why We Ever

   #8 Some Still Morning by Handsome Ghost

I’ve already talked a bit about this album (it was even my first review on this blog!) but I feel like the more I’ve listened to it, the more I’ve started to love the songs that first stuck out to me. I still feel like some of the songs sound a bit too similar, but when the duo branch out and try new things on this record, it’s some of their best work.

Favorite Song: Christmas In Jersey

   #7 Healer by Grouplove

Something that has always been true about Grouplove’s music is that it is insanely catchy, and this holds true with their newest record Healer. I’ve liked a lot of their music before, but for some reason this album connected with me on a way that their other music hasn’t. I feel like this album came out at the perfect time for me, because it has a lot of themes about growing up and dealing with the crazy world we live in. If you’ve never listened to Grouplove and want to check them out, I think that Healer is definitely a good starting place.

Favorite Song: Hail to the Queen

   #6 Folklore by Taylor Swift 

I’ve had a history of really disliking Taylor Swift’s music, especially her earlier albums. I guess for those it was due to overexposure, but with some of her more recent albums (especially 2013′s Red) I actually found there were certain songs I actually liked. Her albums as a whole, however, have always felt bogged down by their singles which often don’t sound like they fit with the rest of the album. When I heard she had announced an album coming out that night, I was very curious. After listening to it, Folklore fixed every issue I’ve had with her previous albums, and I love how she’s shifted her lyrics to focus on telling stories. I didn’t expect a Taylor Swift album to end up on my top 10 list for any year, but 2020 was definitely full of surprises!

Favorite Song: Seven

  #5 Possession by Joywave

I had discovered Joywave one day on YouTube by accident, and immediately wanted to hear more from them. Their songs are always so unique and creative, and after seeing them open up for Bastille in October 2019, I got really excited for their third album. They have incredible energy on stage, and that energy is reflected perfectly in their music, especially on this album. It was one of my most anticipated records of 2020, and it seriously lived up to the hype.

Favorite Song: Half Your Age

   #4 Figure by Into It. Over It

Yet another accidental discovery, Figure blew me away the first time I listened to it. I was immediately drawn in from the first track, and each song delivers something truly special. I had to listen to this album all the way through multiple times to really take it all in. I planned on doing a full review of it here, but felt I needed to look into the lyrics and the meanings behind the songs a little more to fully understand it. Now, Into It. Over It has been on repeat for a good chunk of the past couple months.  Evan Thomas Weiss is an incredible songwriter and really talented musician, and I seriously recommend checking out his music.

Favorite Song: Brushstrokes

   #3 Leave What’s Lost Behind by Colony House

Colony House are a band that I discovered a few years ago, and their first two albums quickly became favorites of mine.Their intriguing instrumentals along with Caleb Chapman’s powerful vocals make their music really fun to listen to, and like Joywave they put on a fantastic show even when they’re just the opening act. I had been looking forward to the follow up to 2017′s Only The Lonely, and this record definitely lived up to my expectations, even if I prefer the latter album a little more. There are definitely some incredible songs here, a few of which are among the best in Colony House’s discography.

Favorite Song: The Hope Inside

#2 Zeros by Declan McKenna

For whatever reason, I didn’t listen to this album when it first came out, but when I did eventually get around to listening to it I fell in love. Declan McKenna has always been a really great songwriter, but this album in particular shows just how talented the 22 year old singer is. Blending sounds from different eras of rock along with some more modern production, Zeros is an absolute masterpiece of an album.

Favorite Song: Twice Your Size

   #1 Dreamland by COIN

Even though Zeros got really close to taking the number one spot, my personal favorite of the year is still COIN’s third album Dreamland (not to be confused with the Glass Animals album of the same name also from 2020). COIN is a band that just keeps on getting better, and even after losing a member back in 2018, they’ve still managed to grow and improve their sound. Dreamland takes everything I’ve loved about COIN’s music and adds to it. If you haven’t listened to this album and are a fan of indie pop bands like Flor, Smallpools and Young the Giant, then you should definitely give this album a listen!

Favorite Song: Nobody’s Baby

   Thank you for checking out my list of my favorite albums from this past year! I’d love to know what you guys think and if we have any of the same albums on our list :)

[chill-that-ur-inmyhead]

Are you currently wearing anything red?

my red nail polish

Have you had a deep conversation with anyone today?

nope

What would you say is the most disgusting thing you’ve ever tasted?

not a fan of christmas pudding but would I say its the most disgusting thing ever? hmmm probs not maybe I need to try more foods and get back to you

What was the last food you got a random craving for?

toast, but that is a daily occurrence

Has anyone/anything made you angry recently?

yes.... I arranged to stay with my friend for a weekend to which she announces that she has also arranged for another one of her friends to stay. So instead of telling her friend that she’s busy, this friend is gonna crash and it made me angry because I wanted to spend the weekend with her, I don’t mind meeting her friends but now they’re gonna be there 24/7. I made my peace with it now

Who did you last go to the cinema with?

probs the same friend mentioned above haha

What was the last song that got stuck in your head?

Little Big Town - Better Man

When was the last time you listened to it?

the other day

Who was the last person to say something thought-provoking?

my friend questioned our group if we think we’re fat phobic so we had an open discussion about it and it got us thinking

On your Facebook friends list, who was the last person to have their b-day?

who knows

How old were they?

probs 22 or 23

What did you/are you having for dinner tonight?

I had steak, yum

Is your best friend in a relationship?

I have a few close friends, some are dating and some aren’t, tis a mixture

How old were you 5 years ago?

17

What is something you enjoy doing, but aren’t good at?

dancing, hehe

Who was the last person you talked to, whose name started with ‘C’?

probs Cara :)

What colour are that person’s eyes?

brown

Name some healthy foods that you enjoy eating.

CUCUMBER FOREVER

What is your favourite Studio Ghibli film?

hmm haven’t seen many Studio Ghibli films but Howl’s Moving Castle was a rollercoaster, note to self: watch more Studio Ghibli creations

Do you have a favourite hair accessory? What does it look like?

yes and no, I love using sunglasses or normal glasses to push my hair back so its both a hair accessory and isn’t

What’s your favourite type of insect?

one that leaves me alone

What’s your LEAST favourite type of insect?

slugs

Who was the last person you Facebook messaged?

Laura!

What’s his/her favourite food?

I do not know haha

Did you have a good day yesterday? What did you do?

hmmm it was a stressful day, my dad and brother were driving up to join us for my grandad’s 90th over the weekend but they broke down on the M1 and took the car back to home in a lorry. mum was stressed and I was sad that we wouldn’t have use of our car to travel back in 

When was the last time you went to a fancy dress party?

have I ever? maybe when I was like 10

Who/what did you dress as?

witch?

What genre was the last film you watched? Did you like it?

FANTASY - I re watched Narnia Prince Caspian and oh wow 

Have you made a sandwich today? What did you put on it?

nope I had a salad

Do you remember the last time you overheard part of a random conversation?

nope, I do like to eavesdrop but can never remember what I hear

Did it make you feel awkward?

nah, I doubt it

What were you doing at 10 o'clock this morning?

showering

How many vowels are there in your first name?

3

What was the last song you listened to? Does it mean anything to you?

Taylor Swift - right where you left me. It reminds me of my last relationship and it’s literally just ONE moment it reminds me of because the song is about the narrator being left at the restaurant and I can just vividly see the moment when my partner and I went for korean bbq. He didn’t leave me at the restaurant and I don’t know why the song would remind me of that moment besides it being at a restaurant. Crazy how taylor works her magic

What flavour was the last cupcake you ate?

tomorrow evening I’ll be able to tell you because we have cupcakes for my Grandad’s 90th :)

When was the last time you complimented a stranger?

in a pandemic? pfffttt hardly spoken to anyone let alone a stranger

What’s your favourite milkshake flavour?

nutella and oreo

Have you had an interesting or amusing dream recently?

nope they’re all stressful and weird

Do you know how old your favourite actor is?

27

Is there anything worrying you right now?

yes

If so, have you talked to anyone about it?

I want to but I just can’t bring myself to

Is there anything you desperately want, that you can’t have?

bread

When will you next see your best friend?

a couple weeks time but we keep in touch every day

Apart from sleeping, what do you plan to do tonight?

read

What’s the age difference between your parents?

5 years

You can only have one flavour of ice-cream for the rest of your life. Which do you choose?

chocolate always

Are there any foods you’ve been craving, or eating a lot of, just recently?

I always crave yoghurt so situation normal there

When was the last time you wanted to do something, but didn’t do it?

I wanted to drive my dad and brother back from the station

Why did you choose not to do it?

I knew it would cause a fight with my mum so I let it go

When was the last time you ate an apple?

within the last week for sure

What’s the nicest thing your best friend has ever said to you?

it’s not something they say once it’s more that they keep coming back to say more nice things :)

Have you ever experienced a hangover?

yep

What was the last food or drink that you tried for the first time?

blood orange gin

Did you like it?

yes

What do your friends think of the person you’re currently interested in?

I’m not interested in anyone rn

Name one of your favourite foods, that starts with the letter ’S’

sausage!!!!

The last time you hung out with your sibling(s), what did you do?

waited for my parents in the car whilst our parents went food shopping

Who was the last blue-eyed person you spoke to?

padre

Is there a person you’d like to speak to right now?

I hope to get a response from Rena soon but I can wait

Why that person, specifically?

She has organised a party and I need more details haha

When you woke up this morning, what was on your mind?

It is spider season :/

At this moment, what are you most looking forward to?

CAKE (for my grandad’s 90th bday) and ofc seeing the extended family

Do you have any scented candles in your home? What scent(s)?

I do, sea salt, bergamot & another one from & other stories

Are you planning any special outings with family or friends?

YES my grandad’s bday dinner is tomorrow

Who were the last 3 males you talked to?

my padra, mon frere and Yao

Do you ever wear lipstick? What colour(s) do you prefer?

either nudes or deep reds, difficult to not look like a clown in the latter, that is always the fear

If you have a pet, when did you last pet him/her?

I don’t :(

Do you have a favourite Celine Dion song?

nope

Name one of your favourite foods, that starts with the letter ‘C’

chicken!

Does the person you love/like have a car? What colour is it?

I’m sure Timothee Chalamet does not sure what colour

Have you ever received a compliment on anything you’re wearing?

yes

Have you had any caffeinated beverages today?

nope

What was the last alcoholic drink you tried for the first time?

blood orange gin 

Did you like it?

yes

Have you eaten any chocolate today? What kind?

so much

The last person you kissed - are they older or younger than you?

older

When was the last time someone wanted you to do something, and you refused?

mum wanted me to not have so much smoothie but I wanted the smoothie haha

What’s your favourite feature of the person you’re currently interested in?

nobody right now but I always notice a nice smile and kind eyes

How many people have you hugged today?

loads! twas my grandad’s 90th bday - we had the whole family come to celebrate

Do you have a favourite hair colour or eye colour on your preferred sex?

I don’t

Do you remember the first CD you ever bought?

it was probably taylor swift’s 1989 album. If it was the first CD I ever bought I dont know but I sure remember buying multiple copies of 1989 to get the polaroid collection

Is there anyone on your mind atm?

not in particular

The last song you listened to - does it remind you of anyone?

nope

Is your birth year an odd or even number?

odd

Have you eaten any of your favourite foods today?

CAKE!

What did you have for lunch yesterday?

fish finger salad!! I hope I’m never too old for fish fingers

Who was the last person you Facebook messaged?

Laura

How many different towns/cities have you lived in?

4

What are your parents’ middle names?

Steven & Anne

Are your eyes the same colour as your sibling’s?

nope

How many pets do you have? Would you like any more?

I don’t have any! we used to have bunnies and I would love some more again

Do you prefer still or sparkling drinks?

depends on the mood

Is there a song you can’t stop listening to atm?

Little Big Town’s Better Man is on repeat rn

Did you have a strange or interesting dream last night?

nope

Which friend do you confide in most?

I kinda tell the world my problems hehe

Who was the first male you talked to today? What colour are his eyes?

either my dad or brother, dad has blue eyes, brother has brown

Are you wearing any accessories in your hair? Describe them.

nope

When was the last time you felt ill? What was wrong?

I caught this WEIRD bug that would just make me feel awful all of a sudden and then drained my energy. It was unlike anything I’ve ever felt it made me miss the normal cold

If given the chance, would you change anything that’s happened today?

the food came later than expected so I would change how much breakfast I had

Who was your first best friend? Do you still speak to that person?

nope

Do you like your middle name, or does it embarrass you?

It fits my name

Are you wearing anything that was given to you as a gift?

nope

Have you received any compliments about your appearance today?

yes! my auntie said I looked like a doll and how much I’ve grown since we last saw each other!

Have you ever written a song or poem for someone special?

nope

Have you ever had an argument with the last person you text messaged?

probably

What colour is your shampoo bottle?

pink

Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged?

she is wonderful but I am not attracted to her in that way haha

Do you have any ice-cream in your freezer? What flavour is it?

chocolate & raspberry 

Have you spoken to any of your neighbours today?

nope

[itsclydebitches]

Title: Mightier Than the Sword

Fandom: Witcher

Summary: A month after the events of "Rare Species," Geralt slinks his way into an inn and is faced with the question of how an emotionless man apologies. (TV!canon with some details drawn from the books and Wild Hunt.)

Pairing: Pre-slash Geralt and Jaskier 

Word Count: 2,568

Where to read it: Below or on AO3 

A/N: It’s a Christmas miracle! Look at me making an attempt at writing. I figured that if season one was going to leave us in that horrible place with Jaskier and Geralt’s relationship I’d just have to start fixing it myself 👍

The storm had raged for two days and looked as if it had enough life in it for a third. When Geralt shouldered his way into the inn he felt like there was a kikimore on the other side, so strong was the wind keeping slabs attached to frame. When he finally managed and let the door slam shut behind him, catching his heel and dimming the storm’s voice, he found a number of glares leveled his way, the patrons none too pleased at the cold interruption. Dropping his hood did not improve matters.

One man splendid in rotting clothes and stained teeth spat as soon as he saw Geralt’s hair. Another flinched away from his eyes. Still another pretended to keep attention on his food but Geralt caught the inquisitive looks he snuck, far worse than any hatred. The curious only thought they were kinder.

“Witcher,” said a fourth. That tone spread through the room. Apparently Jaskier’s ballads hadn’t reached this corner of the world yet.

Geralt found his seat and kept his back to the wall.

For all the poverty he’d passed through in this town the inn at least was holding its own. The horse hair plaster did little to warm the space, but the many bodies and roaring fire made up for the lack of insulation. The room was otherwise dark. Comforted in the soft chatter and the simple blessing that, though they might growl, no one was inclined to approach him. Geralt took a moment to merely sit, listening to the drip of water from his cloak and the clink of spoons against bowls. The latter made his stomach ache something fierce and with a sigh Geralt stood, approaching the bar.

The innkeep took one look at his threadbare clothes and went back to cleaning his nails. Geralt slid what little coin he had across the counter.

“Oats,” he said. “For the chestnut mare outside.”

“This look like a ploughing stable to you?”

“Does this metal look fake to you?”

Geralt spoke of the coin. Might have meant his sword. Either understanding worked just fine. The innkeep pocketed his meager offering in a flash.

“Doesn’t get your bitch much,” he said, but moved to the back regardless, presumably to make up a pail. Geralt traced his movements just long enough for reassurance before heading back to the fire. His knuckles creaked and when he grimaced the skin of his lips split.

As he sat that hole in his stomach grew wider, deeper, pulled him down stronger than gravity herself and Geralt had to plant his feet against the wave of dizziness that hit. Even witchers were susceptible to starvation. Obviously he would have preferred food for both himself and Roach, but work hadn’t been kind to him these last few weeks. Oh, there were plenty of monsters, just few people willing to pay for their demise. As he’d once told Jaskier, the two rarely went hand-in-hand.

...must be the hunger addling his brain. Geralt knew of no other reason why he should think so much on a bard who was no longer bound to him. He’d severed that tie himself, over a month past.

“Endings,” Geralt said. To Roach, really. The conversation had picked up enough to cover his voice and he knew his horse was just beyond the wall, sheltered beneath the hanging roof of the inn. “It was bound to happen eventually. Best to do it on my own terms.”

If pressed Geralt might have admitted to catching that snort. As if Roach had heard, understood, and had more than her fair share to say about that claim. But he held his ground. Jaskier would have left, and all the better for it. Over the last few weeks Geralt had pictured the man lying prone on Yennefer’s bed. Thought over the advice he’d given about heading to the coast. Become antsy during the long stretch of silences and could only admit now that he’d grown used to Jaskier’s singing. The memories of his songs had settled in the back of his mind, rooting there with a determination that fit their author. More than once Geralt had caught himself humming a tune when there was no one else to hear it.

Yes. There were things he... missed. But better to miss them now while they shown bright in his memory. There would have come a day when Jaskier would no longer ask to accompany him to far off places. Where his songs would warn of a witcher’s violence and treachery, rather than simply lying through his teeth. There may have even come a time when he fell and no sorceress, not even one of Yennerfer’s skill, could save him. Geralt knew this as surely as he knew the weight of his own sword.

Jaskeir would have grown to hate him whether he’d held his foolish tongue or not. That was a destiny Geralt could believe in.

He’d just resolved to meditate until the phrase ‘Toss a coin to your witcher’ finally left his head—its repetition had certainly not brought the command into reality—when a plate was dumped in front of him, steaming meat and crispy potatoes. A bit of relish dotted the top, specific to the region as Geralt didn’t recognize the spices. The smell was enough for him to draw a sharp breath though, swallowing it like that might fill the hole in his stomach. He forced himself to look up into the eyes of a plain woman and kept his hands away from the table's edge.

“I didn’t order this,” Geralt said.

The woman smiled. “I know.”

Hmm. “You misunderstand. I don’t have coin to pay for this.” A drink was set beside the plate. The smell of steamed milk had Geralt briefly closing his eyes.

The woman chuckled. At his longing or whatever game she played, he didn’t know. Perhaps both. Though Geralt had an inkling that he had misjudged her when she pushed the plate closer, a chipped nail tapping its edge.

“It’s you who’s not understandin’” she said. “Coin’s already in the pocket. Mine, not my lout of a brother over there.” Her head jerked towards the innkeep. “Pretty bard was in here just a mo’ ago. Went pale as milk when he saw ye. Thought the poor boy was gonna faint! But he recovered, sure as anything, and gave me a handful of silver before slippin’ out the back. Had stern instructions that I get you a hearty dinner so now here I am, doin’ jus’ that. You won’t catch Sinah goin’ back on her word, no sir. So go on. Eat your fill, witcher. More where that came from if you’ve a mind to have it,” and Sinah inched the plate ever closer.

Geralt’s gaze was on the hearth though. He stared at the flames and tried to ignore how the smell of meat had gone sour. “A bard?”

“Aye. As said, a pretty thing. More dolled up than we’re likely to get ‘round these parts. Sang a bit for his own meal before settlin’ in the back. Quiet. Fidgety. Like a mouse before the cat. Specially when he caught sight of that hair o’ yours. Thought he might be a monster himself—one of those dopple things, if you know my meaning—up until he asked me to serve ye. Odd that. I’ll not have my cookin’ go to waste though. I’ll take it back if—hey now!”

But Geralt was already up and on the move because he’d heard it. Muttering something about saving his plate, he was across the room with a dexterity only a witcher could manage, dodging legs, chairs, spilled drinks, all in near darkness. Throwing himself out into the gale that sound grew stronger. No one else would have heard it above the storm, but Geralt followed it like a clear, melodious bell.

Someone was speaking to Roach. Jaskier was speaking to Roach.

A little ways down the path to avoid a small river forming, around the corner of the inn. Geralt slipped into the shadows created by the overhang and blinked at the sudden assault on his vision. Jaskier was dressed entirely in purple and pink, a beacon amid the grays of the night. Geralt’s first thought upon spotting him was that his clothing was a monstrosity all its own and he would happily accept a contract to dispose of it.

Then, ears perking like a wolf’s, Geralt focused on the conversation.

“—hardly deserves it,” Jaskier was saying, using Roach’s neck to hide from a particularly sodden gust of wind. His mare put up with it, long familiar with the man’s proximity. “Though I suppose that you could technically make an argument for reciprocation. If I am owed a ten percent cut of whatever work he secures thanks to my genius ballads, then perhaps I owe him ten percent of whatever I earn thanks to his heroics. Yes, yes. I know I’m not supposed to be touching you, but I’m not see? I’m touching your saddlebags. Geralt can’t get mad about that, can he?”

He could, yet astoundingly Geralt found that he was not. How could he be when the light of the moon showed Jaskier slipping coin into the side pocket where Geralt was sure to find it? Shivering, drenched to the bone, Jaskier continued to give up his riches, smiling all the while. Geralt could see it even from the shadows. Noted the melancholy grip on its edge. He looked away—again—and this time told himself that it was so his shining eyes didn’t give him away. The excuse sounded weak even within his own head.

“Just a bit to tide him over,” Jaskier said, continuing to pour more than “a bit” into various pockets. “And you of course! No need to tell him I was here, but you should make sure he buys you plenty of carrots. You need more than these wet oats... oh by the gods those look disgusting. I’m sorry, girl. I’d sneak back in to get you something as well but... ah.... not sure ‘sneaking’ and ‘White Wolf’ go well together. Our King of Brooding would spot me for sure and then where would I be? Suffering another punch I’d wager. And given our last meeting I don’t think Geralt would settle for aiming at my gut. Sorry, girl, but this face is just too beautiful to risk.”

Another sliver coin glinting from the shadows. An endless wave of prattle just under the rain. Geralt listened as Jaskier told Roach all about his travels over the last month, how audiences were growing weary of the ballads he had, demanding new, exciting tales. Jaskier had nothing to give them. Though that was fine. Grand even! Challenge and limitation, the bread and butter of an artist. He would find a way and until then he’d help others find there’s. Even grumpy witchers.

“I’m his friend, after all,” Jaskier said. It came out quieter than all the rest. “That’s what the foolish man doesn’t realize. Hardly matters whether he’s my friend. Doesn’t stop me from being his. Really, all those mutated brains and he’s dumb as a goat half the time. He’s lucky he’s gorgeous.” Roach tossed her head, knocking into Jaskier’s and drawing a chuckle. “Knew you’d agree with that, girl. There now. All loaded up? Excellent. I’m going to go dry off now. I will not allow this storm to ruin my new outfit,” and he did a little twirl, showing off the decorative stitching. “Stunning? Why yes, I’m quite aware. Never hurts to hear it though. Thank you, darling.”

Jaskier planted a quick kiss on her muzzle, whispered not to tell, and with a wink slipped away. Geralt took note of the house he was renting a room from and then returned to the inn.

He found Sinah in the back removing a man’s hand from her waist. She followed him to his seat, the meat and potatoes now cold. Geralt shoveled forkfuls down regardless.

“You said the bard’s coin would get me more?”

Sinah inclined her head. “Aye. Wanting a second plate, do you?”

“No, but I’ll take paper and quill if you have it.”

If she found the request odd she didn’t show it. Sinah left and returned with the speed of a wraith, depositing pulpy parchment and a vile of ink heavily watered down. It was enough. Geralt inclined his head in turn, the most respectful gesture she’d seen all day, and the two parted with satisfaction on both sides. Geralt put aside a third of his meal for Roach before finishing the rest with a speed that would have choked a human man. Done, he set about composing a list.

He was no poet. Geralt hadn’t the words to describe his contracts with anything other than the blunt language spoken by all witchers. Still, he made an effort to include details. He wrote about the noonwraith he’d dispatched three towns over, only to find that the residents had but an eighth of the coin they’d originally promised. Geralt had looked at their own sunken cheeks, taken half of that eighth, and been on his way. After that had come the drowner colony, but no one cared to pay for what amounted to a pest—even a dangerous one. There were the men who’d succeeded in both putting a hole in his cloak as well as forfeiting their lives. The young woman who looked much like Sinah but had none of her honor, attempting to lure Geralt into a robbery through false tears. The ghoul whose liver he'd eaten when he couldn’t sell it. The curse he’d lifted for a roof over his head. The nekkers that had managed to drain the rest of his energy before he’d finally collapsed here. It was all common work. The witcher equivalent of doing one’s chores. It was only Jaskier’s voice in his head that told Geralt any of this might interest another.

The whole thing filled five pages and took the length of time required to dry his socks. There was no signature. The writing was splotchy and the paper now smelled of rain. Geralt folded it with all the care he’d give to cleaning his sword.

It wasn’t an apology because witchers didn’t do apologies. Geralt wasn’t even sure he’d know how to give one if required... though this was probably as close as he’d get. He would not think on what Jaskier had done to earn the attempt.

Instead, Geralt planned to sop up the remaining juice on his plate and lick his fingers clean. He would return the inkwell to Sinah and, when the rest of him was dry, he’d ruin it all by going back out into the storm, across the weeds, into the room where Jaskier slept with lute and clothes as flamboyant as a peacock. Geralt’s notes would look like a pauper’s trifle next to the rest of his belongings, but perhaps Jaskier could spin them into something grand.

Indeed, perhaps someday soon there would be another inn, a new ballad, and this time Jaskier would choose to stay. Geralt wouldn't deserve that, but he found himself thinking on it nonetheless. Treacherous thoughts that circumvented destiny and warmed him far better than the fire.

Until then, Geralt curled in on himself and let the music he already knew wash over him.

[theydontknowaboutusimagines]

Someone Special - Harry Styles Christmas Series (Part 5)

Part 4

The Next Week

You were currently in the studio recording the songs you had written during your short stay in New York. Tuesday morning was slowly approaching as you sang another take of the last song before you were ready to call it night. When your producer gave you a thumbs up, you took off your headphones and left the booth. 

You sipped some water, while you waited for her to playback the song. You sat down as you listened to the rough cut of the song. Vocally it was perfect, but you knew there was a lot that would need to be added in before it sounded the way you wanted it to. 

“So, what do you think?” You asked. 

“I think we’ve got all the songs we need to make this your best album yet,” she said. “But I do have a question for you.”

“What’s that?” you asked. 

“What happened while you were in New York?” She asked. 

You froze looking over at her, “What do you mean?” 

“I mean before you left all the songs we had for the album were miserable, woe is me, songs,” she said. “Now, those are fucking brilliant and ace, but then you got in a funk. I was all for you getting a new change of a scenery and getting out of LA, but there’s no way just a simply stay in a swanky NYC hotel produced those songs.”

“And why don’t you believe that?” You asked not making eye contact with her. 

“Well, I mean, it’s not like there weren’t pictures of you out with Harry fucking Styles at an SNL afterparty,” she said. “So, I’m thinking that might have helped.” 

“Yeah, I don’t think so,” you said. “Yes, I met him while I was in New York. Yes, we hung out a few times and yes, I went to SNL and to the afterparty, but I highly doubt that has anything to do with me getting out of my writer’s block.” 

“When did you write the first song?” She asked. “Was it before or after you met Harry?” 

You didn’t answer right away because you knew once you did she would think she was right. And once she thought she was right, she would then ask if something happened between the two of you. Now, while nothing happened, something almost did happen, though and you really didn’t want to get into that with her right now... or ever. 

“After,” you sighed. 

She smirked crossing her arms, “How soon after?” 

Fuck, you thought to yourself. 

“The next morning,” you said. “But it still doesn’t mean anything.” 

“Weeeelllll, I wouldn’t say that,” she said. “What happened between you two?” 

“Nothing,” you said. “We’re friends... we were just getting know each other.” 

“With or without clothes?” She smirked. 

“Seriously?” You cocked an eyebrow. 

“I’m sorry! I’m joking... mostly,” she said. “But either way, whatever did happen or didn’t happen, meeting him seemed to be a good thing for you. You definitely came back in different state of mind.” 

“I’m not exactly sure how I should take that,” you laughed. 

“Take it as a compliment,” she smiled. 

“Thank you,” you said. “Well, I think I’m going to head out of here and hopefully get home before the sun rises. Same time tomorrow though?” 

“I’ll be here,” she said. 

“Sweet,” you said. “I’ll see you then.” 

After gathering your things, you walked out of the studio, getting into your car and heading home. During your drive, Alexa’s words replayed over in your head, which brought you back to the almost kiss that happened with Harry. And not only did you have that to think about, but there were also photos of you and Harry arriving at the party together, which has brought on a lot of rumors you don’t need. 

You weren’t shocked about the photos because there were tons of cameras there, so you knew it would happen, but having that add on to the fact you almost kissed him is taking things to a new level. Since leaving New York, you pushed what happened that night to the back of your mind. Traveling, unpacking, and getting used to the jet lag and then working in the studio, gave you the distraction you needed. 

But now, you are lsat in your thoughts. You still thought it was simply just a in the moment and perfectly normal human attraction thing and a not you have feelings for him thing. There was no way it could be the latter because you just met him and barely even knew him. Yet you found yourself ignoring Harry. 

He had sent you a couple of texts and called you once since that night, but you haven't responded. He had told you he was in LA for a few days before he had to head back to the UK and he wanted to hang out with you. You felt bad not answering him, but whenever you thought about seeing him again you felt this strange feeling come over you.

So, instead fo typing out a response, you simply busied yourself. You pulled into your driveway when you got to your house and headed inside. You put your bag down and your keys onto the table before heading to your bedroom. You undressed before stepping into the shower for a quick rinse off. Once you got out, you dried off and pulled on some clothes before practically jumping into your bed and pulling the blankets over you and falling asleep. 

**

Harry looked at his phone for the third time in less than a half hour and there still wasn’t a response back from you. He would be leaving for the UK tomorrow and he was supposed to filming a skits for the Late Late Show all day. 

“You going to tell me why you’re glued to your phone more than usual?” James asked. 

“Oh, uh, it’s nothing,” he said. 

“Just like those pictures of you and Y/N are nothing?” James smirked. 

“Exactly,” Harry said. 

Hm, maybe the pictures were why you weren’t responding. Harry could tell himself that, but deep down he knew the truth. It was because of the almost kiss that happened. He felt so stupid for putting not only himself, but you in that predicament. He knew it was simply the drinks flowing through you and he was without a doubt attracted to you, but it was nothing more than that. 

At least, thats what he kept telling himself. 

“So, you’re saying nothing happened between the two of you?” James asked. “Jeff said you two were pretty cozy.”

“Remind me to hit him the next time I see him,” he mumbled. “But we were not cozy. We were friendly, because we’re friends. We literally just met and that’s all it was.” 

“Then, why do you want to hang with her again?” James smirked. “I mean you don’t even hang out with me that much.” 

Harry sighed, “I don’t know. I just like talking to her, s’ all. Plus, after this week, I don’t know when I’d get to see her again in person...” 

“Hm, friends,” James said. “Alright.” 

Harry rolled his eyes, “I’m gonna go get ready. We’re on in ten, right?” 

“Yep,” James said. 

Harry went into the dressing room to change into his first outfit. He wasn’t sure why he had agreed to this skit in particular as he thought about going out into traffic and the possibility of getting run over was quite high. Okay, maybe not that high, but the chance was still there. Harry found himself checking his phone one last time before heading out to set. 

So, far everything with the skit was going great and it was a lot more fun than what Harry thought it would be. They were almost done filming when Harry ran out to perform Kiwi. When he was up on the makeshift stage, he looked out into the traffic and saw you in your car with a wide eyed look and a slight grin on your face. 

Smirking a bit, he hoped down from the stage and made his way over to your car, brushing up against it before making his way to the window. You weren’t sure what was happening, but seeing Harry Styles performing in the middle of the crosswalk at a right light was not what you expected on your way to the studio. 

“Can we talk?” He asked when you rolled your window a bit. 

“Um, pretty sure now it’s the best time,” you said looking over at the light that was now turning green. 

“Just... if I text you a place to meet, will you come?” He asked. 

“Yes, sure,” you said quickly. 

“Great,” he said. 

“HARRY! LETS GO!” James shouted. 

Drivers honked their horns as Harry rushed back over to the sidewalk and at you to drive on. You shook the thoughts from your head as you pressed the gas, wondering if what you just agreed to under pressure was actually a good idea. 

**

A few hours later, you were on your way to the address Harry had sent you. Turns out it was actually his house and you weren’t sure how you felt about that either. Due to what this little meeting with harry, you were unable to concentrate at the studio and ended up calling it early. You knew you would have to explain why you hadn’t answered his previous attempts at meeting up and that the only reason you did this time was due to the fact he literally confronted you in the middle of the fucking street, but that was besides the point. 

You also knew the almost kiss would most likely come up and you really hope he also agreed that it wasn’t anything seeing as how you both were not looking for love anytime soon. Actually, better yet you really hoped you just imagined the almost kiss and he forgot all about it and doesn’t bring it up. 

But that would probably be a little bit of too much of wishful thinking. When you arrived at his place, you didn’t know how to feel. You didn’t know what was going to happen once you walked through that door, but you just hoped that it didn’t effect your blossoming friendship with him. Because despite the almost kiss, and the rumors that now swirled around the two of you, you did enjoy spending time with him. 

You enjoyed talking with him and just being around him, so you would hate to lose that just because of one teeny tinny almost didn’t even happen kiss. You took a deep breath before getting out of your car and walking to the front door. You were mid knock when you heard the door unlocking and opened. 

“Hey,” Harry said. “You came.” 

“I did,” you nodded. “But then again I said I would.” 

“Well, I didn’t know since you haven’t really responded to any of my texts over the last few days,” he said. 

“Um, yeah, about that, I’m sorry. I’ve been uh... in the studio and stuff,” you said, which was an entire lie. 

“Oh, I thought you might have been ignoring me or something,” he blushed. “Especially after leaving the party so quickly...” 

You sighed walking inside and sitting your things down, “I really am sorry about that, too,” you whispered. 

“Why did you leave so quickly?” He asked. “I mean, I understand you leaving, but not without saying goodbye.” 

You bit your lip, turning away from him, not answering just yet. 

“Was it because of...” he sighed. “Was it because of what almost happened between us?” 

You sighed running your hand through your hair, “Honestly, partly... yes,” you said. 

“Damnit, I knew it,” he sighed. “I’m so sorry about that. I didn’t want that to happen, I swear. I think it was just everything that was going on and the drinks and I-.” 

“No, it’s okay,” you said. “The same for me. I just-It took me by surprise as all, and my fight or flight kicked in, I guess.” 

“Okay, wow, I’m so happy to hear you say that,” he said. “I really thought I fucked something up and I would have hated that because I’ve really enjoyed talking with you.” 

“Same here,” you smiled. “So, now that we’ve cleared the air, we’re both agree that there’s nothing here? Just friends.” 

“Just friends,” he smiled. 

“Cool,” you said. “That was easy.” 

“Well, it helps when we both agree on it,” he laughed. “It would have been really fucking awkward if one of us liked the other.” 

“True,” you laughed. 

“Anyway, since you’re here and we’re just friends, would you like to stay for some pizza?” He asked. 

“I don’t see why not,” you smiled

“Great,” he said. “It just got here, so i should still be warm.” 

You nodded walking behind him and grabbing two slices and sitting down at th table. 

“So, you’ve been in the studio?” He asked. “How’s that going?” 

“Pretty good,” you said. “I’ve got all the songs for the album recorded. We just have to add in some production stuff to the ones I recorded yesterday and then there’s making the track list, and a shit ton of other stuff, but the album is close to being finish.” 

“So, we’re looking at another six months before release date?” He joked. 

“Basically,” you laughed. 

“Will I get to hear any of these songs soon?” He smirked. “I mean since we’re friends and all.” 

“That depends,” you smirked. 

“On?” He asked. 

“If I get to hear any from Fine Line,” you smirked. 

“I believe I could arrange that,” he said. 

“Then I guess I could arrange it for my album too,” you smirked. 

He laughed taking a bite of his pizza. “Speaking of your album, although it’s really not got anything to do with it, but I noticed you’re going to be performing at the Jingle Bell Ball in London in December.” 

“I am, yes,” you nodded. 

“And so am I,” he said. “Which means, we’ll both be in London and I’d love to show you around... maybe show you some fun Christmas things we do over in the UK.” 

“That could be fun,” you smiled. “But you don’t have to go through so much trouble for me.” 

“No, trouble at all,” he said. “You said you wanted to make this the best Christmas you’ve had by doing all the Christmas things, so why now not carry that over in London with you.” 

“Well, if you’re offering, I can’t say no,” you smiled. 

He smiled back at you taking a sip of his beer. After the two of you finished eating, you helped him clean up before heading out to the backyard. You both sat down, looking up at the stars of the night sky as you chatted about various things. Many jokes were made and laughs filled the air. Any awkwardness or unweary feelings were completely gone. 

When you notice how late it had gotten, you decided it was time to head back, so Harry walked you to your car. 

“Thanks again for coming over,” he said. 

“Thanks for inviting me,” you said. “And I’m sorry again about before... and being weird about it.” 

“It’s fine,” he said. “Like you said, we’re just friends, nothing more. What almost happened that night was just a fluke and it’s not going to happen again.” 

“Exactly,” you said. 

“Well, I’ll guess I’ll see you in London then?” He asked. 

“Yeah, I guess you will,” you said. 

“Great,” he said. “Just promise me one thing?” 

“What’s that?” you asked. 

“Don’t uh.. don’t ignore me until then,” he laughed. 

You blushed, “Don’t worry, I won't,” you said. 

He nodded wrapping you a hug and you hugged him back. You felt your heartbeat quicken and a strange feeling in your stomach at his touch, but he pulled back from you just as quickly as he had placed his arms around you. However, the feeling inside of you was still there and so was the lingering of his touch. 

“Well, goodnight, Y/N,” he said. “Text me when you get home, so that I know you made it safely.” 

“I will,” you nodded. “Goodnight, Harry.” 

You gave him a small wave before getting into the car and driving off. On the drive home, you thought about your night with Harry, the conversation, and lastly the hug. You went in wanting everything to be okay with the two of you and wanting you two to continue having this budding friendship. 

And that’s exactly what happened, yet you found yourself feeling a little bit disappointed at that. 

**

I know you were probably hoping for some drama this update, but I promise it’s coming! 

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Twenty-Nine

Table of Content or Part Twenty-Eight

Pairing: Douglas Booth!Nikki Sixx x OC

Word Count: 4.6k

Warning(s): Language, Drug use, Sexual content

A/N: A day late but I hope you enjoy it, it's decently light hearted because the next chapter will be the car accident. Have a good night, you guys, and thank you for the support!

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-------------------------------------------------------

"You're fucking overreacting, Vivian!" Nikki snaps at me as we stomp to the car and I stop to turn at him.

"I'm overreacting? To what, exactly, Nikki? You giving out intimate pictures of your wife—which perverts our marriage, by the way—or you entertaining the disrespectful groupie?! Because you managed to spit in my face twice in ten minutes!"

"I perverted our marriage? It was a fucking picture, not a fucking train that we ran on you, Vivian! Get over yourself!"

"You get over yourself and fucking admit you're wrong and you know it!"

"I fucked up when I was fucked up! That doesn't count!"

"No, it does, because you know there's a chance you can do something wrong every time you get shit faced but you ignore it and do it anyway so using that as an excuse is completely invalid and simply just you refusing to take the blame, as always!" I throw my hands up and start towards the car again.

"You are such a spoiled little brat!" He argues, snatching at my wrist, making me spin around to face him. "You're so use to people kissing your fucking feet for your forgiveness that you act like the sky's fucking falling when someone won't do whatever the fuck you want!"

"Oh, really?!"

"Yes, really, and part of that's my fault because I've gone out of my way to keep you happy at times and it still is never enough! You're always gonna find something to be pissed at me about!"

"Do you hear yourself talking, Nikki?! When is the last time you have done anything for me—that I've actually asked for?! I didn't want my own fucking expensive car. So don't throw that in my face like I should be perfectly fine with what you do and how you choose to humliate me just because I'm lucky enough to be married to hot-shot rockstar Nikki Sixx, and I could care less about the money because I'd rather have a relatively sober husband over a fucking corvette any day!"

"So all of this comes back to heroin?!" He raises his brows. "Your prudeness and insecurity is my fault because I shoot up sometimes?! They see naked girls all the fucking time, Vivian!" He points in the direction of the Rainbow. "Don't get pissy over this just because you think your pussy is so fucking special that nobody but me can see it because I promise you, I've had better!"

I can tell he regrets saying it the second it leaves his mouth, but it's a low blow that shatters my pride.

I just step past him, letting out a tired breath, heading back to the Rainbow.

"Where are you going?" He asks me.

I just ignore him.

I stayed with Vince and Sharise that night, and the night after that, and the night after that...okay...I stayed at Vince's for three weeks, and it drove Nikki up the wall because Vince was becoming his least favorite but he stilled liked him enough to give him a picture of me masturbating so...

Three weeks in which Nikki was apparantly going out of his mind on heroin to hide the fact I had temporarily left him.

I just wanted a sincere apology where he admitted his heroin use was beginning to affect him more and more and was creating strife in our marriage.

But I never got that kind of apology until 1988.

"Fuck!" Sharise lets out when a loud pop sounds through the kitchen while she's cooking bacon.

Her blonde hair is in a messy knot on her head and she's not wearing anything but one of Vince's t-shirts and a pair of panties.

"I offered to help you." I remind her, cracking another egg.

Another pop has her jumping away from the stove and crossing her arms, looking at me as if begging to switch places.

"Here." I move aside and she sighs with relief as I head to the bacon that's beginning to pop ridiculously fast, and smoke up.

There's a ring at the doorbell.

"I'll get it." Sharise tells me, running her hands under the stream of the sink to get the raw egg off before another ring ensues then another, and another. "Jeez, someone's impatient." She mumbles, heading out the kitchen and down the stairs to the door.

I'm in the process of flipping the bacon over when I hear Sharise call, "Viv, it's for you."

I move the pan off the burner and head to the door, seeing Nikki tower over Sharise, sunglasses protecting his eyes from hangover induced light sensetivity.

I resist the urge to tackle him because of how much I've missed him.

Sharise leaves us to it to go finish cooking and I cross my arms and look up at Nikki, waiting for him to say something.

"Are you coming back home or should I start selling your shit?" He asks me smartly and I raise a brow.

"Are you sorry for being a complete dick?"

"Wasn't really being a complete dick, only a partial dick. You haven't seen me hit peek dickness, yet." He replies and I go to slam the door in his face but he stops me, keeping it open with his hand and I let out a deep sigh.

"Seriously, either apologize and mean it or piss off." I snap at him and he raises a brow, his jaw, that's lightly padded with alcohol bloat, rolls and he impatiently taps his booted foot.

"I'm trying to apologize but you won't come home." He argues.

"Okay, normally I'd consider you screwing me into next week, an apology. This time it's not." I state.

"It's not sex." He assures me.

"Then what is it?" I ask and he smirks.

"Get your shit together and come find out." He suggests and I think about it for a moment.

"I swear if we get home and you pull your prick out like it's God's gift to me, you and your right hand will be very well acquainted until further notice." I promise and he scoffs.

"We already are."

I get my things together and tell Sharise I'll be right back to finish breakfast, and when Nikki and I head back to the apartment, I notice we're going the wrong way.

"I think you need to turn around." I tell him, glancing around at our surroundings.

"What?" He replies.

"We're going the wrong way. We need to turn around, Babe." I repeat what I said and he brushes me off.

"Just enjoy the fucking ride, Viv. We'll get home when we get home." He shrugs with a smile.

I just decide he's lost some more of his mind and go along with it.

When we approach Valley Vista Boulavard which is near by Sherman Oaks, I get aggravated.

"Nikki. You wanted to go home. I left Sharise to go home. Let's freaking go home." I tell him harshly, picking at my nails.

"That's what we're doing." He explains casually and I look at him, confused.

"What?"

The Corvette pulls to the gated driveway of a mansion we've passed by once before, and Nikki rolls the window down and punches in a code before the gate opens and we pull into the driveway.

"K. We're home." He pipes, uncranking the car and getting out.

14432 Valley Vista Boulevard in Van Nuys was a mansion we had passed by one time. And in that one time we passed by, I made a comment about how beautiful it was.

Nikki took that, and ran with it.

I look at Nikki, my mouth parted in shock as he nervously awaits my reaction.

"Well...?" He asks cautiously.

I can't speak.

Tears fill my eyes, all his wrong doings are thrown out the window because he paid attention and remembered a single comment I made in passing, nearly a year ago.

"I..." I exhale, taking another deep breath. "...T-This is our's? You...you bought us a house?"

"I bought you a house." He corrects me. "Before you squirt in our driveway, just wait until you see the inside."

He tugs me behind him, unlocking the front door, and I let out another breath.

It's stunning.

Going through the foyer, kitchen, living room, dining room, upstairs, and the three bedrooms, my mind runs wild with possibilities.

Friends over for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter—Nikki will obviously give me a hard time with the latter one...

Our kids running through and ransacking the place while I try to cook dinner and Nikki tries to write new music.

Nikki's going on and on about contacting an interior decorator as soon as possible, pointing out what bits and pieces he wants to add and where.

I quit listening halfway through and just stare at him with this happy smile on my face.

I was so, so, so naive. I was acting like Tansy. Every screw up was suddenly erased all because of a good deed.

I remember Vince would go city to city when Mötley went on tour and tell a stripper from every city from the local club he was head over heels in love with them and wanted to marry them.

These girls would quit their jobs, leave their homes, and pack their bags, and show up somewhere down the line of shows in different cities and try to see Vince. Fred Saunders would tell Vince their name, and Vince would claim he'd never met them.

And he'd laugh over the fact that they were that desperate to drop everything for him.

They weren't desperate. They just had hope.

People think I stayed with Nikki after everything he did because I was that desperate.

I stayed with him because I had hope that no matter how bad it got, if I just held on a little longer, it would eventually get better.

If you give a woman a shred of hope to have something they really want, the only way they'll let go of it, is if you damn near kill them.

Nikki getting me that house was my shred of hope I had that we were going to be okay.

Knowing what I know now about what that house would become for Nikki, I would've stayed in that shitty apartment with Robbin Crosby any day.

"What is it?" Nikki finally asks me, noticing me staring at him.

I just bite my lip and pull him closer to me by his studded belt and he takes the hint and wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me against him.

Our lips brush together teasingly before my teeth tug at his lip.

Tongues meet each other as he takes a couple steps back, and I shove him down to the couch, the both of us wearing eager smiles as his hands pull me down to straddle him.

I push his jacket off his shoulders and he tugs my t-shirt over my head, my red hair spilling over my bare chest.

His shirt is the next to go, the warmth of his skin radiating through me when he slides his arms against my back, pulling my chest flush against him while his fingers tangle in my hair and pull my head back so his tounge and teeth can mark up my neck.

I let out a quiet moan, looking up to see myself in a high ceiling that's one huge mirror consisting of smaller mirror tiles.

"Nikki..." I pat his bicep and he stops his attention to me and looks up, too.

"There's one in every room." He explains lowly, his lips brushing against my jaw and I raise a brow at the idea of utilizing every single mirrored-ceiling room in this house.

Good thing I'm decently confident in my skin because I'm going to be seeing a lot of myself, in different positions, at different angles.

My lips meet his again, my fingers catching in his tangled hair as I start grinding against the obvious tent in his pants.

He lets out a small groan, guiding my hips' movement as I dry hump him.

"Don't screw around and wet your pants before we even start." I advise in a mean little mock, my hand rubbing over the bulged leather before pulling slowly at the laces of his pants.

His hand grabs at mine, stopping me from going into his pants as his eyes narrow.

"That's not your's." He tells me, gauging my reaction.

I don't need him to get off. I'd prefer he be part of the process, though.

I just get off of him and shimy out of my pajama shorts.

Completely naked, now, I sit directly in front of him on the couch opposite of him and spread my legs, one at a time, seeing his expression change as if he's looking at the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

I smirk, my hands groping at my breasts, pinching at my nipples for a second, sending electric sparks straight to my clit.

I'm already soaked, but I feel another rush leave me as I focus on Nikki's stare, my fingers falling between my legs, rubbing at the nerves that shoot an intense feeling of a carnal need that can only be satisfied by one thing throughout my body.

I enter one finger into myself, and then another, my mouth opening when I curl them to hit that spot that has my bacl arching and my eyes rolling back while "Nikki" slips past my lips in a high pitched moan.

My hands are yanked away from me in a few seconds, my fingers being replaced by two thicker, longer didgets that go into me at a feverish pace, causing me to lurch forward.

"Oh, fuck, Nikki!" I cry out, the sound of him fingering me ringing through the room as his other hand keeps me sealed to the couch by wrapping around my throat just enough to keep me still.

"So fuckin' pretty." He tells me with a smirk, looking over my body and my face, fucking the life out of me with just two fingers.

My toes are curling, that spot within me continuing to be stimulated with sheer force.

"Play with it." He orders me and I listen, my fingers going to my aching clit, a sharp breath filling my lungs at the feeling. "God, you're such a bad little bitch when you want to be." He says through gritted teeth and I open my mouth to reply but I can't.

My orgasm creeps up on me out of nowhere and I drench his fingers as my legs spasm and my eyes roll back, a slew of curses tumbling from my mouth in the process.

I think that's the fastest I've ever came.

Nikki grins at me, getting his prick freed.

I lick my lips at the sight of precum dripping out of him and I'm on my knees before he even tells me to get there.

I push my hair back over my shoulders, wrapping my hand around the base of him and giving a few strokes, the liquid beading from his tip allowing him to be slickened up.

He breathes out, looking down at me through thick black hair, and I open my mouth and stick my tongue out to run it in a zig-zag motion up the underside of his length, teasingly.

I savor the taste of him when my tongue circles his tip before I start moving my mouth up and down his shaft.

"God, fuck, Viv..." He moans out, grasping my hair to thrust in to my mouth.

I take everything he gives, slober running out of my mouth and tears coming to my eyes when he pushes himself down my throat.

"Such a good girl." He praises me and my nails bite into his thighs as he lets me go.

I gasp for air, working him with my hand while I catch my breath.

When he holds himself out for me to start licking and sucking again, I open my mouth, but he moves away, grinning when I follow his movements to try to get him back in my mouth.

"You really are like a groupie slut, just for me." He chuckles out and I stand up and get on my tip toes, my lips brushing against his ear.

"Then fuck me like one."

He gets this mischevious smile on his face before kissing me heatedly.

He somehow leads me into the kitchen without breaking contact, spinning me around and bending me over the counter.

I gasp at the cold marble against my nipples but my mind is taken off of it when Nikki's hand comes down and leaves a bright red handprint on my ass.

Warm liquid drips down my legs and I arch my back and spread my legs to better accomadate him, looking over my shoulder at him jacking off a couple times.

He rubs his tip across my clit and my entrance before sliding in to the hilt in one rough stroke.

I'm not prepared, his girth stretching me deliciously, and he doesn't give me time to adjust before starting a long, rough, fast pace that has me clawing at the counter top for some stability as the sound of our skin hitting together fills the room.

"Hungry fucking cunt." He comments, his hands holding my hips in a vice grip.

"It feels so good, Nikki!" I gasp out, my eyes squeezed closed as more tears come to my eyes.

"It's all mine, isn't?" He asks me, his hand reaching down to rub feverishly at my clit while he drills into me and I borderline scream, every bone in my body shaking as I get ready to come apart again. "This pussy's all fucking mine."

"Yes!" I agree, tears rolling down my face as he relentlessly beats into me.

I'm going to be too sore to walk tomorrow. "Fuck, it's all fuckin' your's!" I sob as a fucking dam breaks between my legs and I'm releasing again, leaving a fucking puddle of cum in the kitchen floor.

Nikki gets off on this, and grunts as he spills himself into my abused sex.

We spent the rest of the night and early morning hours christening every room in the house, including the closets and garage.

The both of us collapse in the masterbedroom's closet floor, covered in sweat and panting.

Our mission to have sex in every room in the house is complete, the both of us are exhausted, and I can't feel my legs.

I turn over to look at him, my cheek against his chest as his arm snakes around my back while he tucks his other arm behind his head.

We've had small breaks in between each round and even took a power nap, and Nikki had a couple lines to keep him awake, before our last hurrah of the night in the closet.

"What time is it?" I ask him softly, sitting up and yawning.

"It was like, 3:45 thirty minutes ago." He mumbles, tiredly and I rub my eyes.

"I'm about to get in the bed." I tell him, going to stand up.

My legs give out on the way up and I fall back down, Nikki and I both laugh.

"No, I'm not." I whine out, and he sits up.

"C'mon, cripple." He stands, reaching down to pick me up and I wrap my arm around his shoulder, wincing a little when my thighs shift closely together, spurring on coming soreness to move through my legs.

I've definitely built muscle tonight.

Nikki puts me on the bed, helping me pull the comforter back, and tuck myself in before mumbling about having to get something out of his car and needing to piss.

He went and shot up, and then passed out on the couch.

I wake up, completely confused by my suroundings until I remember Nikki and I are the owners of a house, now.

Then another thought peers into my mind: how did he afford this?

I've been stressing out over telling him we have to pay a $350.00 ticket—that I need to go to the court house and explain I lost it and then pay it—because of a little financial instability, and he goes and buys an entire mansion.

I just let out a breath, deciding to ask about it later.

I reak of sex and I just want a shower—no, a bubble bath to soak my sore body in.

But first, I need some water.

I don't bother with clothes, stepping to kitchen, only to be met with Tommy, Robbin, Tansy, Sparkie, Sharise, Razzle and Andy McCoy.

A startled, short scream echoes through the house because I wasn't expecting anyone but Nikki to be here.

"Jesus, Viv!" Tommy rubs at his ear, wincing, not noticing I'm naked until I cover my chest. "Oh, uhh..." He stutters, not looking at me as he shrugs his jacket off.

"Okay, yeah, the pictures just don't do any justice." Robbin lets out with a smug smirk even though he's got his eyes on the ceiling, although it doesn't do any good because it's plastered in mirror tiling.

"What the hell are you doing here and where's Nikki?" I snap at them, once I cover up with Tommy's jacket.

"He and Vince are grabbing some things from the apartment that you two need here, and then they're making a booze and food run." Robbin explains.

"For what?"

"House warming party." Sharise explains.

"He didn't mention it to you?" Tansy asks and I scoff.

"He doesn't mention a lot to me." I grumble to myself, exhaling. "Whatever, I'm getting a shower. Don't break anything or I will mount your dicks to the wall." I promise to the guys, walking to our bathroom.

Once I'm out of the shower, and wrapped in a towel, Nikki's stepping in to the bathroom.

"Babe, I totally forgot to tell you." He explains, reffering to the party and I roll my eyes.

"Not a stranger to miscommunication in our relationship." I reply with a shrug, standing at the sink, looking at myself in the mirror.

"Yeah, but still." He counters, meeting my eyes in the steamed up mirror.

He's running his hands over my towel covered hips, pulling my ass into him suggestively, and my breath catches in my throat.

"Baby, no." I chuckle, turning to look at him, needing at least two days to even think about having anything inside of me.

"Viv, c'mon, I'll be gentle." He grins, raising his brows for a split second.

"Gentle isn't anywhere in your vocabulary, Nikki."

"I can be very gentle." He argues, and I give him a pointed look.

His lips meet mine, his hands picking up at the backs of my thighs, sitting me on the bathroom counter.

I'm uncovered as his hands brush my towel down, his lips pressing a trail down my neck, over my collar bone, to each hickey covered breast, to the bite mark shaped bruise over my rib that he gets strangly obsessed with when we're fooling around, down my stomach, the inside of my sore thighs, and I arch my back and gasp out when he presses a kiss between my legs.

He pulls away and stands back up, kissing me hotly, causing me to get flustered.

"See." He says. "I can be gentle."

It's clear he has no intention of finishing what he'a started at this moment, and I remember we have a party starting soon. "Be ready in forty-five minutes, at least."

I nod, and he kisses me one last time before stepping out of the bathroom.

I left that bathroom ready to greet a few extra guest than who was in my kitchen.

But I walked out to a house full of people I'd never met, or knew and just didn't like.

Every girl from every strip club in town was parading around, groupies were like roaches scowering fresh meat in a garbage can, and drug dealers were crowding the place like possums scavenging through a cow carcass.

Me, Tansy, and Sharise stayed close to Vince, Tommy, Robbin or Nikki, being that random dudes were looking at us like lions seeing gazelles for the first time...Sparkie being one of them when Tansy wasn't looking. I guess he liked what he saw when he caught a glimpse of me naked earlier that night.

Just when I thought Nikki was done with the splurging, he and Robbin informed me of a plan they had for late November, early December.

"Martinique?" I ask the two rockstars. "Why're we going to Martinique?"

"Fucking vacation, Viv. Why else?" Nikki asks, pushing his sunglasses up his nose, taking another sip of Jack.

"Can we afford to take a trip to Martinique?"

Nikki looks at me like I've lost my damn mind.

I learned in that moment to never question our financial situation in front of other men, with that single look.

"Yes. We can. The fuck would you ask that for?" Nikki asks me a little harshly and I shake my head a little.

"Well, we have two brand new sports cars, a brand new mansion—"

"Yeah, baby, that's kinda how bein' a rockstar works." Nikki states and I let out a breath.

"Well, I was ju—"

"Viv, love, c'mere!" Razzle's drunken slur travels from the kitchen to the living room.

"Be right back." I tell Nikki, patting his thigh as I stand up and he swats at my ass before I can walk away.

I turn to look down at him, not amused, and he gives me a toothy grin.

Brushing off his brazen attitude, I step to the kitchen.

Sharise, Tansy, Razzle, Michael, Tommy, and Andy.

"What, Raz?" I ask.

"Have a drink with us!" He pipes.

"I don't drink, Raz." I tell him for the millionth time in the past three weeks that we've hung out.

"I don't give a bloody hell what you drink, just get it, and have a fucking drink with us." He tells me.

I smile a little and open the fridge pulling out a glass bottle of Pepsi.

Tommy's pulling his bottle opener from his pocket but Tansy grabs the bottle from me and opens it with her teeth.

"Tansy!" Sharise and I squeal, my heart racing, and the small "pop" sounds of air leaving the bottle as the cap comes off and Tansy takes it from between her teeth and puts it on the counter, handing me the bottle back.

"What, Nikki taught me how to do it." She explains.

"Nikki can teach you a lot of things, that doesn't mean you do it!" I scold her.

"If you screw your teeth up, you're done with modeling." Sharise adds. "Nobody likes a model with no teeth."

"Gummy chicks do the nastiest shit on your dick, though." Tommy argues passionately and Tansy, Sharise and I slowly look at him, offended and concerned.

I look at Michael who's observing the conversation, trying not to laugh.

"How much longer are you guys in town?"

"Another few weeks." He tells me and I nod.

"Take us with you." Tansy cuts in, side eyeing Tommy over his toothless women comment.

"I can't be the only one here who's gotten a blowjob from a girl with little to no teeth." Tommy states, looking to Sparkie, Razzle, Michael and Andy.

"No, no, no, don't drag them into your sick freak fest." I tell him, motioning to the members of Hanoi Rocks that are present.

"My freak fest? Nikki's told me whats on that tape you mentioned, and you're just as bad as us."

"Because I married one of you. It's called adapting. I'm an adapter."

"There's apparently parts of you that can adapt to a lot." He scoffs and I cut my eyes at him.

"Because she doesn't have to be toothless in order to do nasty shit on Nikki's dick." Tansy tipsily takes up for me and I squeeze my eyes together.

"You know, the more I get to know you the more I really like you, love." I hear Razzle say to me.

"Change of subject." I reply, laughing nervously, looking at Michael and Andy.

"Yeah, you guys, you're gonna scar the foreigners." Mike mimics a high pitched American accent to sound like me the best that he can and it catches all of us off guard, and causes us to combust into laughter.

[mamaskillerqueen]

Maybe In Another Life - Pt 1 || Roger Taylor x Fem!Reader

A/N: I decided to do this in parts because I felt it would be easier. I pretty much already have the other parts finished, I just need to edit and add a few bits. So, by the end of the day, I will have the whole thing finished. I haven’t decided about posting times yet. If you have suggestions, please let me know! P.s. I imagined Ben!Roger but you can imagine whichever you prefer. Warnings: Mentions of cheating, domestic fighting, angst. Super shitty writing. I wanted this to turn out better than it did. I am so sorry. Word Count: 1,856

Four months doesn't seem like a long time but coupling it with the two months they were touring before going to America, makes it seem like a lifetime. The tour started out in November in England. They traveled from there to Wales, then back to England, before heading to Scotland and then back to England again. Tours so close to home weren't so bad. It was fairly easy to stay in touch with family and loved ones, and they got to make it home for Christmas. Roger was ecstatic to be home with Y/N for the holiday. It wasn't their first together, but it was their first as a married couple. They had just about a month to celebrate the holiday and then the New Year. He made sure to make it as special as possible, and to not leave her side for a moment longer than necessary. It was his best attempt at overloading time together to make up for the time they'd soon be apart. He had done his best at keeping up with nightly phone calls while in other countries but as the tour progressed and time zones changed, it became increasingly more difficult. By the last two months he may have only spoken to his wife a total of three times. The thought only occurring to him as he climbed the stairs to his front door. She would have no idea he was due home. He swung the door open, a sense of excitement and a sense of dread coursing through his veins. The latter emotion was one he knew he shouldn't be feeling. Despite not calling, he knew she'd be happy to see him. She was the most understanding person he'd ever known. When he explained on their last call why he kept neglecting to call, she jumped at the chance to let him know it was okay and that she understood. Sometimes he wondered how he got so lucky.

Music was playing somewhere deeper in the house as he kicked his shoes off at the door and dropped his bags. He would worry about putting them away later. When he rounded the corner to the kitchen he was graced with a sight he had missed more than he'd like to admit. Y/N was dancing around the kitchen in one of his shirts, cooking dinner for herself, and singing a long to the song that was playing on the radio she kept on the counter. Leaning against the door frame, he smiled to himself as he watched in contented silence. It wasn't until she whirled around and nearly dropped her plate on the floor that she noticed his presence. Clutching at her chest with one hand she placed the food on the counter before making her way over to him. "Are you trying to give me a heart attack? I'll have you know, I'm not trying to die young." He chuckled as she shoved his shoulder before quickly wrapping her arms around his neck. She stretched up on her toes and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. When she pulled back there was a smile on her face. His arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer to his chest. "I missed the view, I had to take it in for a moment. It's not my fault you're not very observant," Roger muttered to her with a laugh in his voice before he kissed her again. The evening was getting rather late and so after sharing Y/N's dinner for one, they climbed the stairs to their bedroom. As Roger settled into his bed he couldn't help the sigh that left him as he got comfortable. Hotel beds would never live up to the comfort of home and sharing a bed with his wife. She moved herself so her head was laying on his chest, listening intently to the beating of his heart. Her finger traced patterns across his skin as his fingers combed through her hair. For whatever reason, that was always how he got her to relax and sleep. As the minutes passed he could tell she was about to fall asleep by how her body settled against him. Just as he was about to let himself slip off she spoke up. "They're coming over tomorrow night, aren't they?" There was no malice in her voice, something he always admired about her. She never questioned their end of tour routine. The night after arriving home the band always got together for a guys night. It was almost a farewell of sorts. They spent weeks or even months constantly together, constantly annoying each other and it was almost as if they had to have one last night of doing so before taking a break. She never cared because she always knew that he'd come back to her at the end of the night, and then it would be the two of them before the band had to start work again. "Tomorrow night, yes. Poker." She merely nodded her head before placing a kiss over his heart and settling back in for the night. The next morning, Roger woke to an empty bed. The jet lag was a struggle and when he glanced at the alarm clock by the bed he realised why she wasn't with him. The time read a little after noon. He was sure she'd been up for hours, probably trying her best to make sure he caught up on some much-needed sleep. That was certainly something he didn't get while he was gone. When he made it to the kitchen and found it empty he frowned. The place was suspiciously quiet. He could see something was on the fridge, stuck there with a magnet he didn't remember ever seeing before. Stepping closer he read a note, scrawled quickly by the looks of her messy handwriting. "Had to grab some stuff for your boys night. I'll be home soon, Sleeping Beauty." There was a heart at the bottom of the note, her hurried way of saying she loved him. Taking the note off the fridge he placed it in the bin before making his very late breakfast. He had to mentally remind himself to thank her for the foresight of going out to grab food and beer, something she never kept in the house unless he was home. That evening when the band arrived at his front door, Y/N greeted them all with a hug and a kiss to the cheek. As tradition went, she sat down for only an hour or so to hear all about their stories from tour before leaving them to their game. It was something she always told Roger she loved, getting to climb into bed and read in peace knowing that she wasn't in the big house all alone for once. Roger had lost track of time quite a while ago. The band sat gathered around his kitchen table, beers in hand, poker chips scattered about, and the cards in their other hand long forgotten. Conversation flowed, albeit stuttered as they'd had more than their fair share of alcohol.  "How was Ala, by the way?" Brian asked, his words slurring but a mischievous smile on his lips. "Ala, yeah. You dragged her off to your room and then never spoke of her again." John mumbled in agreeable. "Must not have been any good." Came Freddie's add on, he may have been the most sober of them all. He could always hold his liquor the best. "Watch it." Roger muttered, an edge to his voice as he glanced over his shoulder. With the late hour he was sure his wife was in bed but the boys were well past knowing what an inside voice was. It was with that conversation that he decided this would be the end of boys night. Rising from his seat he ushered his band mates out of his house and towards the taxi that had been parked on the side of the curb. Once the door was securely locked, he climbed the stairs two at a time.  Sleep was calling his name. He pushed the door open to their bedroom and was surprised to see her still sitting on the bed, not nestled under the covers sleeping. As he pushed the door shut behind him and began to get ready for bed he assumed she had just gotten up to break up the guys night or to go to the bathroom. In his slightly drunken stupor he didn't even notice the fact that she still had yet to move. "Who is Ala?" she asked him as soon as he reached for the blankets on the bed, her back still facing him.  He noticed immediately that her voice was far too calm for this conversation and it almost immediately sobered him up. With his heart steadily sinking he sighed, trying to determine if he should go with the truth or if he should lie. Silently cursing the boys in his head for bringing it up in his house. They had all done regrettable things during a tour, but they never once turned each other in for their mistakes. It was always an unspoken agreement. "Who is Ala, Roger?" The bite in her tone made him flinch. The truth would be best. He tried his best to prepare himself for this impending fight as he ran his hands through his long hair. In his chest he could feel his heart breaking, he could feel the shame of screwing up the best thing he ever had. Guilt was the heavy dread he had felt when he opened the door to their shared home yesterday. He had hoped it would just eat away at him, hurt him alone. Hurting her was always out of the question... and yet, here he was. "A woman I met on tour." "Did you sleep with her?" Her next question came so quickly, the edge to her tone still there but the crack in her voice as she asked was enough to let him know she already knew the answer. His head dipped and the silence that followed must have been enough for her. The next thing he knew there was a pillow being thrown in his face. Before he could even react she was across the room, standing in front of him and shoving him away from her. When she went to shove him again he was able to grab her wrist and pull her to his chest. He could feel her tears dampening the shirt he was too drunk a moment ago to remove. "What do I have to do to make you forget this?" "Never see her again." "Done."  He promised as he pulled her chin up, so he could place a kiss to her lips, which she deepened. Her fist tightened around his shirt as she pulled him backwards towards the bed. Roger knew deep in his bones that this wasn't the solution they needed but for right now, he hoped it was enough. He hoped she could learn to forgive him and that he could learn to never break her heart again.

[benisasoftboi]

Tales From A Christmas Carol(s)

I work props at a local amateur theatre, and we just finished our run of A Christmas Carol - 19 shows in just under two weeks, massive cast of both adults and children. I was there for 15 of the performances, plus rehearsals. I’ll miss the cast and crew very much - wonderful people, the lot of them - but I never want to hear a word about ghosts and making merry and Tiny-bloody-Tim ever again. 

Here’s some stories that the audience didn’t get to see:

So the first thing I have to talk about is the Cursed Prop. Here he is, at first dress rehearsal:

Someone in the cast named him Dead Tom. He stayed on stage right, where I worked, and played the role of Scrooge’s corpse during a Christmas Yet To Come scene (hidden under a blanket, luckily for the audience). We all hated Dead Tom for being the scariest part of the whole production - except the kids, who were oddly entranced by him. I once watched one reverently stare at him, and then reach forward to gently caress his face. Spooky as hell. As the show went on, and he had to be dragged about every night, he got a bit worse for wear, and by the final performance looked like this:

Someone (*cough* me) accidentally kicked him in the face during the final rehearsal, which is why that dent is there. Surprisingly, doing this didn’t doom the show by unleashing an ancient evil. I suspect it instead explains the UK general election result. Sorry, everyone

Working props can be really fun because unlike a lot of other backstage jobs, you get to spend a lot of time with the actors - you come to personally rely on each other, which leads to a weird, but special bond. Like the girl who played Belle (Scrooge’s ex-girlfriend), who relied on me to help her with a quick change at the end of Act 1 - I had to button a cape around her neck, which is really difficult to do under pressure (I’ve always admired quick changes, but now I am in absolute reverence of some famous ones having experienced the pressure of it first hand). I am very grateful she trusted me with the task - and also quite surprised I never accidentally groped her, considering how often my hands were frantically moving about in that area

However - actors are also useless and cannot ever be trusted with anything, it must be said. We had this plate of (real!) jellies that went on stage for a party scene, it looked like this:

(They look better on stage). I would cover them with a sheet of foil, and a note reading ‘DO NOT TOUCH’, as they were fairly delicate. The first night, the note went missing. I later found it on the other side of the stage, meaning some one must have carried it across. And it also means that some smart-arse touched the DO NOT TOUCH sign. Never found out who it was

On the last night, I figured they knew the rules by now. I didn’t have to cover up the jellies, they’d seen the sign for two weeks, I’d be throwing them away in an hour anyway - I could trust them to leave them alone for one more act. I leave them out, turn around for five seconds, and turn back to discover the actors taking it in turns to SLAP the jellies

Actors are despicable creatures and I hate them (I don’t <3)

There’s always one prop the actors consistently forget to return. In this show, there was a set of pocket watches that people would constantly leave in costume pockets. At one point we had three shows in a row where a different person forgot each time. This was perhaps my punishment for getting bored in rehearsals and setting all the clock hands to 6 and 9

We had a few props that were spares, in case something went missing or got broken. One was a bowler hat. On the last night, as it clearly wouldn’t be needed, I wore it the whole show, just for fun. Someone told me I looked ‘effortlessly cool’, which is the only time that has ever been said about me

There were a lot of kids in this show, and they were really sweet, and often more well-behaved than the grown-ups. I had to skip both sets of performances on the Thursdays for other commitments, and one of them told me he missed me while I was gone, and my soul ascended

Another time, we were doing a matinee for a school group, who were being very rowdy. One of the kids came over to me, gestured in the direction of the audience, and said ‘I hate children’. I nodded and handed him his prop, while internally losing it because sweetheart, you are children

That same day, the actor playing Christmas Past lost his wig - he had to walk through a curtain, and it got pulled off. Cue laughter from audience. He handled it very well, though. The wig wasn’t used again in any performance after that, which I think was actually for the best, with the costume and make-up he actually kind of looked spookier without it 

Another school group wolf-whistled Scrooge at the end - kids are wild

I had to spend a lot of time coming back and forth from the theatre’s props room due to those jellies I mentioned earlier needing to stay in the fridge when not in use. Props rooms are where all the most recently or soon to be used props are kept (we’ve got like five other rooms and a whole basement for stuff that’s not in use), and they’re the best. You never know what you’re going to find, and you spot something new every time. It can range from weird:

To creepy:

To very funny if you’re on your tenth performance of A Christmas-goddamn-Carol and you barely slept last night and you have a highly immature sense of humour:

I would watch the absolute hell out of a Night At The Museum spin-off set in a theatre props storage

Being an amateur theatre, everyone involved with these shows is, well, an amateur. A lot of people still like to jokingly call themselves professionals, though, usually under one of two circumstances - the first is when no one really feels like being there, but we’ve got to do it, we’re professionals, *self-deprecating laughter*, and the second when someone gets caught doing something silly

For me, the latter happened a few times during my favourite part of my role in this show - decorating the scooter. For some reason, this version of A Christmas Carol featured a boy on a scooter who would ride through various scenes. The scooter was then gifted to Tiny Tim at the end (I don’t get it, but whatever). Throughout most of the show, it was just a scooter, but before the last time it came on, I would decorate it like this:

Now, it had to be ridden across the stage, so it was very important that the decorations didn’t all come off. So of course, I would be required to make certain of that, surely? And what better way to do so than by riding it around the back corridors while everyone’s on stage? Right? It’s a very professional thing to do, is how I explained it every time someone caught me

Scooters are fun and more adults should have them

At the end of the show, the whole cast is on stage and ‘snow’ falls from the ‘sky’, and everyone cheers as the curtain falls. One matinee, the snow failed, and we spent the wait until the evening show unsure whether they’d be able to fix it. When it did fall at the end of the performance, the cheers the actors let out were, unbeknownst to the audience that night, actually 100% genuine - I could hear the difference, having listened to it every night for a week. Which was why I spent the entirety of bows that evening silently laughing my absolute arse off

To be a little cheesy - these past few weeks have been some of the best of my life. If anyone out there has just moved, or is moving to a new city, and is looking to socialise a bit, you could do worse than joining up with a local theatre. Best case scenario, you end up like me, and have a great (if repetitive) time with a group of lovely people. And worst case? You at least get really good at quoting long sections of plays. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with someone who can do that?  

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #226

“i couldn't take my eyes off her, but that's not what i took off that night.”

So, how are you doing today? I'm mostly fine, I guess. I'm sooooo sleep-deprived from these damn night terrors, so it has me pretty moody. Then I'm bummed as all fuckhell that Sara and I can't be together on our anniversary. What is the last song that you had on repeat? I think it waaaas... "Idiosyncrasy" (it took me five million attempts to spell that right) by Korn. Are you a hedonist/masochist/in between? Neither. The best musical performance you’ve been to? I've only ever seen Alice Cooper, but it was WICKED. He did his signature decapitation illusion (how the fuck does that even work??), and the last song (it was a fucking amazing cover of "Another Brick In The Wall") had INCREDIBLE theatrics. I loved it. Who is your favorite drummer? *shrugs* Your favorite guitarist? Idk, really. Maybe Zakk Wylde. A vocalist with the best voice? Freddie Mercury's voice is so versatile and chill-inducing, Amy Lee is an obvious answer, Patrick Stump's voice is just so goddamn sexy, as is Brendon Urie's, as well as wide in vocal range. Do you have a band yourself? Maaaan, that'd be dope. But no. Do you write poetry or song lyrics? I used to write poems aaaaaall the time (y'know, the "I'm 14 and this is deep" kind), and I've actually really wanted to for a while now, but idk about what. Plus my word-weaving capability has drastically declined, so all I'd do is get mad. Your best memories: Meeting Sara, SARA'S FUCKING FACE WHEN SHE SAW ME IN HER BEDROOM ON HER LAST BIRTHDAY OH MY FUCKING GOD, a novel of things with Jason, seeing meerkats at the zoo for the first time, THE DAY GOD NOTICED ME THROUGH A GIF I WORKED WAY TOO HARD ON (I couldn't sleep for three days, and I wish I was kidding), uhhhh. A lot. Your worst memories: The night of the breakup, absolutely and entirely. Nothing compares. It was a slow, paralyzing trauma (don't get pissy about me using that word "as an exaggeration," it was diagnosed as such years ago) that entirely put me into an actual state of shock. I wish that night on absolutely nobody. No one. Funniest thing you've ever seen an animal do? Maaaaan, I could tell you a lot. Probably inarguably the funniest was Ginger (ex's beagle) WITHOUT FAIL losing her shit with jealousy or SOMETHING whenever she noticed Jason and I were doing anything that involved affection without her. That dog would LOSE IT with barking, tail wagging, and climbing all over him, and it was never not funny to see this fatass little dog turn into a living cockblock lmfao. OH YEAH then our late boxer Cali could be baited into howling if you did it sometimes. It was so, so cute. She'd always look so confused but do it anyway. I'm sure there're others; I've grown up with pets my whole life, but those are the only two that come to me now. What is on your mind? I wanna see Sara. Could you ever cheat on your significant other? I physically couldn't stand myself if I ever did. No. Ever been so disgraced that you had homicidal thoughts? Wow no. If so, whom did you wish to assassin? I mean I've talked about Ashley (not my sister) before, but they weren't seriously "homicidal." I wasn't going to actually do anything. If you wish to be famous, what would you want to be famous for? I don't wish it, but let's say I was. Some form of artist. ... Wait, I do want that. Errrmmm OH! A serious wildlife conservator. Do you think humanity is going downhill? Duh. What was the last thing you threw at someone? I have no clue. Do you ever want to be prom queen/king? I didn't care. Have you ever ran from the police? I'd prefer to stay out of jail. Are you afraid of clowns? No. Have you ever written on someone’s face in your yearbook? Ha ha yeeeaaah... When was the last time you made dinner? me?????? cook????????????? huh?????????????? Do you have any special plans coming up? I'm shooting my sister's gender reveal Sunday. :') Ash and her husband don't know the gender, so I am so fucking excited to see their reactions. Who do you want to be buried next to? Please don't bury me and just take up space. Cremate me and scatter the ashes somewhere, or do SOMETHING meaningful and creative. What is your favorite fish? Like... to eat? I haven't tried very much, but I liked striper forever and ever ago. If you mean visually, probably betta fish. Have you ever won a gold medal? Probably with kid stuff. Do you have any trophies? Also as a kid for A honor roll, as well as dance and sports overall. Do you work out? Oops no. When you introduce yourself, do you give hand shakes? It depends on who I'm talking to. Is there a limit to how many best friends you have? No? Do you have any hickeys on you? Bitch a girl can wish. Do you have the strength to say goodbye forever? Been there, finally done that. Will you talk to the person you like tonight? I talk to her every day throughout the day. Who did you last share a bed with? Sara. Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone? Sara or Mom. Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? No. What are you listening to right now? I'm not actually listening to anything, but "Gypsy" by Fleetwood Mac is BURIED into my head rn. What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider? I've never tried to latter actually, but I'd probably still prefer hot chocolate, anyway. Do you make wishes at 11:11? No; I don't believe in that stuff. I have a friend who posts JUST "11:11 <3" or something like that every night on FB, and while it shouldn't, it annoys the fuck out of me. No one cares. Ever been on a golf cart? Yeah. Do you get blizzards where you live? No, never to the point where "blizzard" fits. What’s a biblical truth that you struggle with? lmao When was the last time you did something rebellious? *shrugs* Do you rebel against God a lot? I can genuinely say I don't give a fuck if I do or don't. Do you consider yourself creative? Very. What’s an old hobby that you want to pick back up? Sigh, reading. Do you ever read books to a pet? No. That seems without real purpose... and this is coming from me, an animal worshiper, just about. Like, you know they genuinely have no clue what you're saying or doing, and I highly doubt they're gonna stay still and look at the pictures. Do you have any pets? Two dogs, a cat, a rat, and a snake. What was the theme of your childhood bedroom? It didn't have a set theme. Partially because I grew up with the same room as my little sister, and we had very different interests. What color was your nursery as a baby? I have zero clue. Did I even have a proper nursery??? What was the last surgery you had? Getting a cyst above my asscrack removed lmaoooo. What’s something you prefer to keep private? Sexual history. I am very, very shy talking about that kind of stuff. Who is someone you look up to? *sobs "fischfuck" at the top of my lungs* As a child, did you have people you admired? STEVE IRWIN WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY EMOTIONAL DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Are you good at prioritizing? Eek... I'm unsure, to be honest. Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for? fuckin' Halloween hoe. Which holiday or season has the best decorations in stores? Soooo Halloween decor=room decor for me tbh lol. Who’s the prettiest YouTuber you watch? She doesn't have her own active YT channel anymore, but Suzy Hanson (GameGrumps' Arin's wife) is a fucking goddess. Oh, and while I've never watched her channel, I've seen Hannah Hart on GMM quite a few times, and she's actually one of my first signals that I wasn't straight because I definitely felt attracted to how naturally beautiful she is. What’s the most shocking thing that’s occurred in your life lately? Finding out my grandma has terminal cancer. How’s the weather been at your part of the world in the past week? It's been fucking hot. Thursday was the hottest October day in NC history, peaking at 100. Disgoostiiiiiing. Have you given something up recently? (for ex., candy, red meat etc.) Uhhhh well, this is semi-recently, I guess: I entirely stopped going to Chick-fil-a in protest of higher-ranking business employees or whatever supporting/making donations to anti-LGBT cults, especially conversion "therapy." What’s the worst thing about autumn? "How fleeting it is. I never feel like I get properly immersed in the experience. I blink and the leaves are gone and Thanksgiving is here and Christmas is right around the corner." <<< Perfect description. What is something you enjoy doing, even if you’re not very good at it? Drawing portraits, maybe. Do you work hard for your money? I don't have a job, never have had a stable one. However, on the occasion I'm hired to take pictures, I. Try. Really. Hard. What’s a song that most people interpret entirely wrong? "Mama I'm Coming Home" by Ozzy Osbourne was first to come to mind; reasonably, people tend to think the song is about his mother, but it's rather about his wife. Calling your wife that is apparently some English petname. When’s the last time you had cake? Wow, idk, actually. I think my niece mighta had some for her birthday in June? I know my nephew had cupcakes. Yeah, I think it was her b-day. Have you ever made your own soda from scratch? I have not. How about your own jam? No. Or pickled something? No. Did you grow anything in your garden this year? No, we don't have one. Or did someone give you something they grew in theirs? No. What’s the most romantic gift anyone’s given to you? Uhhhhhhhhhh idk. Do you like woolly socks? If so, do you ever make your own? NO, especially when you put sneakers over them or something. They feel so constricted. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer? A laptop that needs to be replaced, gah. Or fixed. I have a pure black crack and blob stretching across the left side of my screen that is super distracting and obscuring, and the right side of the top half is cracked along the side; I have duct tape to help keep it closed. Otherwise it's a fine laptop, though. Oh wait, and the apostrophe key is missing, so I have to hit the plastic pressure thingy that's easy to miss. Do you watch America’s Got Talent? No. If so, who has been your favorite contestant on AGT? My favorite ever was Landau Eugene Murphy Jr. Still have some of his covers on my iPod. Prince Poppycock is also my gay uncle that I would die for. What chore are you behind on? I need to dust my room good lort. Have you ever broken your phone screen? No, actually. Have you ever broke your computer screen? Well, refer to earlier question. I don't know if it's technically "broke," just damaged (it's not an actual scratch, btw; it's beyond the exterior screen). I need to take it somewhere to fix it ahhhhh. What department store do you shop at the most? Wal-Mart. Do you normally use the self-checkout or the regular checkout? Depends on how much we have. If it's just a handful or so, we just go do it ourselves. Which friend will be in your heart no matter what happens between you two? Sara, Megan. What is your most severe allergy? Pollen. Have you ever been kicked out of a store? No. OH SHIT NO WAIT, I THINK a friend and I may have wandered into Spencer's once when we were "too young." Or maybe we just got ID'd. Idk, idr. What was the stupidest mistake of your life? Turning a person into my sole source of "real" happiness, giving my entire soul to a flawed human being, being naive about love, all that jazz. Have you ever unfriended a sibling on social media? Well, she unfriended me. We're friends again now tho I think I pissed her off again. Oops. Do you watch Niki and Gabi on YouTube? If yes, which twin is your favorite: Niki or Gabi? I've heard of 'em, but don't know anything about/watch them. What was your favorite book you had to read for school? The Outsiders. The Handmaid's Tale is now right behind it. What do you want for your birthday this year? My '19 birthday has already passed, but if you mean like, my next one, idk. Maybe a new phone considering mine is GODawful with so many problems. Alllllthough I'm entirely aware I'll be putting a tattoo first, so... it depends on what I have, ha ha. Do you like rock music? Yep. What is the most beautiful landscape you have ever seen? MOUNTAINS!!!!!!!!!! What do you usually take for headaches? Advil/Ibuprofen. Have you ever switched doctors because of mistreatment? Or moreso carelessness and immeasurable ignorance masked by over-confidence. Do you film or record your doctor’s appointments? ??????????????????????????????? Can you even do that?????????????????? Which accomplishment are you most proud of yourself for? So, this kinda depends. I'm most likely to say "recovery," but I honestly give almost all credit to my psychiatrist and therapists. So I don't usually see *me* as playing a big role in it. Idk. So other days I'll say way more confidently graduating in the top 10% of the graduating class as a senior. Do you feel like you’ve accomplished anything yet with your life? Well yeah. What is your favorite medication that you take, and why? The combination I take of Vraylar + Lamictal due to how they interact and being massively responsible for me being stable. What is your favorite vitamin, and why? Do people???????????? have fave vitamins????????????????? List 5 people you know who have never been mean to you. Uh. I think Connie is it out of the people I know well/have known for a long time, lol. Would you rather do a craft project or a science experiment? s c i e n c e  b i t c h Do you say garbage, trash, rubbish, or something else? "Trash," usually. Which Bratz doll was your favorite? I didn't have a favorite. Which Barbie doll was your favorite? ^ Which American Girl doll was your favorite? I don't remember. Do you decorate Mason jars? No, but I find them veeeeeery pretty when decorated well. What color band and stone does your class ring have? I didn't get one. Can you see the mountains from where you live? No, I wish... What is your favorite Lisa Frank character? angel!!!!!!!!!!!! KITTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you believe in the power of prayer? Not in the slightest. What color eyes does the person you like/love have? Are they pretty? A beautiful brown. Obviously if I call them beautiful. What was the first television show you were obsessed with? Pokemon cries. I never really like... showed just how much though. Looking back on when I was a kid, I took embarrassment poorly even then. Other girls thought I was weird for bringing a Psyduck plushy with me to school everyday, everyone in pre-k looked at me like "huh" when I brought my little Snorlax plush in for show-and-tell, I came to a point of only watching it when my sister was asleep, I was too scared to ask for the games, and- jfc okay I'm actually realizing I need to go back to therapy to talk about how deep my AvPD truly is rooted oops lmao. Do you eat chili when you get a hot dog, or do you like it plain? Chili is disgusting. Have you ever disowned anyone in your family? For what reasons? No. Is there anyone out there who has hurt you so much, you wish they’d die? No. Has anyone ever called you a sociopath before? No. How many times have you been drunk in your life? None got to the point of me feeling *actually* drunk. I've only ever been tipsy. When was the last time you acted really immature? *shrugs* Can you rely on one or more people to take up for you? Yeah, a few. When is the last time you sat around a campfire? I don't have a clue. Is there an important event coming up at your school? I think? It's some event all freshmen have to attend to all damn day and I'm not looking forward to it. It's for a good cause, but. It's gonna be a drag and I've had two incidents this school year of once collapsing and just last week almost fainting and vomiting just from the heat. Do you have a back-up career choice? What is it? Something with writing, I guess. Well, I ideally want to be a professional photographer but also a zoologist, but if photography goes absurdly well (this is incredibly unlikely, I know, but it's doable), I may not aim for a zoologist career, but get the necessary degree for it as back-up. I want an unquestionably stable back-up choice. My minor is Journalism, so like I mentioned up top, yeah, if things really go shitty, something in writing is an option. Would you ever get caught with a fake ID? No. Do you think religion justifies treating people unequally? I don't see the supposed "rationality" in this at all. No. Are men more attractive with longer or shorter hair? I guess it depends on the person, but I think I'm generally more attracted to men with longer hair. What color was the ink of the last pen you used? Black. Is there a name that you hear and cringe? I can't really say "cringe," but without fail, it's obvious who and what I think of the moment I hear the name "Jason," and it always causes this dull pain in my chest. What color are your dad’s eyes? They're dark brown. When you were a kid, was there a boy/girl that you said you were going to marry? No. Is your favourite TV show very popular? That '70s Show is, and Fullmetal Alchemist is among anime fans, at least. I don't think too many people know about Meerkat Manor, but I know it was and possibly still is Animal Planet's highest-grossing series, so it sure was big for viewers of that channel. What are you absolutely determined to do? Become at least a semi-successful photographer, make a great life with Sara, support my mom one day like she always has me, mostly overcome anxiety, photograph and touch a habituated meerkat of the KMP... a handful of things. Where would you rather be from? Somewhere in the U.S. that's not a homophobic, racist, gun-fucking, Bible-thumping cesspit of closed-minded shits. I love NC. How often do you play sports? Never. What website do you visit most often? YouTube. What do you wish you knew more about? Politics. What are some things you’ve had to unlearn? I stopped this as a young teenager, but I know I was one of those kids who used "retarded" as a substitute for "stupid." I absolutely hate that shit. I also had to unlearn uhhhh... man, I know there's a lot, I'm just blanking right now. What TV channel doesn’t exist but really should? *shrug* Where is the most interesting place you’ve been? Interesting to me personally, Chicago. Cities that massive are foreign to me. What fad or trend do you hope comes back? Scene fashion was art, don't @ me. What’s the best way to start the day? SLEEPY CUDDLES W/ YOUR S/O. What kind of art do you enjoy most? Man, idk. I love art so much. What have you only recently formed an opinion about? That's a good question. What is the most heartwarming thing you’ve ever seen? Literally today/yesterday when I watched the secret stream Mark did of gathering viewers to anonymously destroy random but small Twitch streamers' charity goals & he was too motivated and inspiring & everyone was so fucking confused but thankful and it was literally the most inarguably Chaotic Good thing I have ever borne witness to. For three hours I couldn't stop fucking smiling. What’s something you like to do the old-fashioned way? Hell if I know. Who has impressed you most with what they’ve accomplished? lol guess How do you relax after a hard day of work? I don't work. What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch? TV show? 13 Reasons Why is a hell no. The Human Centipede I wouldn't watch over my dead fucking body. Where would you spend all your time if you could? All my time? Idk. What’s the best way a person can spend their time? Improving the world. What’s the most interesting piece of art you’ve seen? I couldn't even try to answer that question. What’s worth spending more on to get the best? I dunno, probably a lot. Maybe food? Ensure it's safe, at least. What is the luckiest thing that has happened to you? Not flipping over in the wreck we got in when I was a kid, probably. All factors of it considered, we were told flipping would have been far more likely than my mom managing to keep us on four wheels. What are some small things that make your day better? Multiple things. Sara feeling positive, I'm fucking awful so having a yummy soda gives me a measly drop of Serotonin, I love seeing Venus come out of her rock to wander around, finding a new song to become utterly addicted to is great, cool weather outside... things like that. I'm sure there's more. What one thing do you really want but can’t afford? REALLY want? A trip to South Africa. What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of? Uhhh idk. Otep, I suppose. As a band, anyway. She's actually the QUEEN of bigoted bitches. Why did you decide to do the work you are doing now? N/A What’s something you’ve been meaning to try but just haven’t gotten around to? Oh, idk. If all jobs had the same pay and hours, what job would you like to have? Still a photographer. Have you ever saved someone’s life? No. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve learned? People can tell you they'll always be there and still leave in the blink of an eye. What’s something you are self-conscious about? Unconventional interests/hobbies and my body. Have you ever given to any charities? Yes. What was the best compliment you’ve received? Idk. What’s the most immature thing that you do? Not gonna lie, I can act bratty if I don't get something I SERIOUSLY want. Which of your scars has the best story behind it? None, really. What have you created that you are most proud of? A novel of very developed and deep RP characters over the years. What do you regret not doing or starting when you were younger? Learning German. As you get older, what are you becoming more and more afraid of? Mom dying. Being independent. In what situation or place would you feel the most out of place in? Most out of place? Would, like not one I've actually experienced? Uhhh idk. An orgy lmao.

[thedefinitionofbts]

Kingdom of Crystal Snow

↳ Christmas Special ❄️

Pairings: Kim Taehyung x Reader ft. Park Jimin

Genre: Comedy, Light Angst, Fluff, Royal Au (?)

Words: 10K

Description: A prince from a far off land is sent to earth to discover the meaning of crystal snow, and you are somehow just what he needs. 

Jimin has always told you that you should change your awful habit of putting off studying for a test last minute. He calls it a bad case of procrastination. You call it “living on the edge”. And it’s not that you don’t want to change per se, it’s just hard when you’ve always relied on that rush of adrenaline from imminent doom to give you a push to take action. If it were easy to alter such an innate mindset, you’d actually be prepared to ace your final tomorrow.

“I’m going faaaaiiiil!” You groan, banging your head against the textbook laid opened in front of you. 

“What did I say about trying to cram a semester’s worth of information in one night?” Jimin says, not even bothering to glance up from his own book.

You tsk in annoyance. “Can’t you just be a little more supportive?” 

“Okay, okay” He gently closes his book and takes off his glasses to look at you. “You are not going to fail.” You can tell he’s not trying very hard to sound convincing. You’ve known him long enough to distinguish authentic support and just going through the motions to make you feel better.

“But I am!” You insist, more for the purpose of complaining out loud rather than actually getting another half-assed response from your friend of five years. “I barely understand the first chapter, how the hell am I going to learn the entire book by tomorrow morning!?” 

You were right and wrong, more or less. You were right in thinking there was no way you were going to understand the entirety of your textbook by sunrise the next day, but you were wrong in believing you would fail the entire class.

Thank Jesus Lord.

Jimin would actually, maybe, perhaps be proud to know that you were a measly 2 points away from failing, but pulled through. 2 points away from having to repeat the course and having to graduate a year later (aka having to walk with Jungkook at graduation, which god knows will go down in the unofficial history books among your group of friends for the rest of eternity). It actually feels pretty good, knowing you were blisteringly close to being depressed over winter break only to be saved from said hellish nightmare by such a blessed margin. 

2 points. Jimin would call it getting lucky, but you refer to it as “having talent”.

At the moment you are running through all the ways you can break the good news to him, debating whether you should pretend that you failed and psych him by telling him you didn’t whilst he was consoling you. But just as you were playing house with all of these hypothetical scenarios in your mind, you spot someone just appearing out of thin air on your way to the coffee shop near campus. Appearing out of thin air. Like poof, there’s your living, breathing human being delivered right under your nose. You could’ve sworn the public park wasn’t this tripped up the last time you were here, and last time you checked, you were awake and not dreaming.

Must be post-finals stress disorder.

“Ok, how the fuck did you do that?” You point at the man sprawled on the ground as if he had just flown through a time portal.

He groans in pain, rubbing the back of his head. “W-who are you?” He looks up at you, squinting due to the blinding rays of the sun that your head is conveniently just two inches away from blocking.

“I think I should be the one asking that question.” You observe suspiciously as he stands up. He’s much taller than you had expected, and slightly intimidating now that he’s towering over you.

“I am Kim Taehyung, crown prince of the Winter Kingdom.”

There are mainly two things that cross your mind as you casually register his words. 1.) It’s a shame this guy is high on drugs right now because he’s actually really attractive, and 2.) Did he actually just say what I thought he said?  

It takes every last ounce of strength you had to not erupt into laughter.

“Uhhhh, is this supposed to be some cosplay thing for the holidays, cause I’m really not into that stuff, and I’d rather not deal with drunk strangers.” You start to walk away, eyebrow still raised even as you switch your attention onward and try to erase the thought of how realistic his costume actually looked. The dude must’ve spent hours putting something like that together, so you can’t blame him for trying so convincingly to stay in character.

“Please, you must help me.” He begs, following closely behind like a lost puppy. “I can’t return until I have discovered the meaning of crystal snow.”

You stop walking abruptly, causing him to almost crash into you head on. “Crystal snow?” You turn to him, raising your other eyebrow dubiously. “You mean like snowflakes and shit?”

He looks at you confused. “It’s not that simple. It’s something that has been at the core of our kingdom for centuries. Every ruler brings a different kind of snow to the wintry realm. I must find the meaning of mine. ”

“Don’t you guys have encyclopedias or some ratchet form of Google for things like that? I mean, how the hell are you going to find answers here, on earth, a place where crystal snow literally just means snowflakes?”

He sighs. “We do, but they do not contain the information I seek, and the sorceress has never been wrong.”

“The sorceress?” You furrow your brows even harder as you begin to grasp how ridiculous this conversation was getting. “Ok, listen buddy. I don’t know what you’re trying to do here, but I need to go.”

Taehyung opens his mouth to protest, but shuts it before the next words can escape his lips.

You flash him a weird look one last time before quickly running off. Finals were over, winter break is beginning, and you have a coffee date with Jimin to get to. There was no time to mess around with a random stranger who claims he’s from another world. What was the guy smoking anyways? He had to be high or something…right?

“You’re late.” Jimin’s familiar voice cuts through your reverie.

“Only by like five minutes.” You counter, setting your peppermint latte down on the table.

The café was festively ornamented the same way it is every year, with a large Christmas tree crammed in the corner and wall decorations hanging on a space that is clearly too small for so many objects to be juxtaposed. Despite looking cramped and messy, the atmosphere was earnest and cozy, reminiscent of nostalgic childhoods and charmingly intimate conversations with those you are closest to.

Jimin’s face breaks into a smile. “I’ll let you off the hook seeing as though you just went through a week of hell.”

“Ugh, story of my life.” You roll your eyes. “I’m surprised I managed to survive.”

You decide to not make a big deal about passing the exam. Whether it was because the events from this morning had shaken you up or because it seemed insignificant in the grand scheme of things, you figure you’d rather talk about winter break and Christmas plans.

“Namjoon and Yoongi are going back home, Hoseok has this dance camp he’s doing for the next three weeks, so it’s just me, Seokjin, and Jungkook.”

“Oh boy, that’s going to be interesting.”

“Tell me about it.” Jimin sighs.

 …

 You spent the rest of the day chatting with Jimin at the café, something you had grown accustomed to doing over the years. It was a good way to pass time, or waste time, depending on how you chose to view it. By the time the two of you leave, it’s already late afternoon, and since it’s winter, the prematurely setting sun gives off the impression that it’s a lot later than it really is.

However, it’s not completely dark yet; the sky is just reaching that magical twilight hour where it’s painted with baby blues and pastel pinks. The temperature is beginning to drop, but the crisp winter air is still and almost therapeutic. You don’t notice anything peculiar at first, not until you squint your eyes and spot the one person that you wished your mind could just allow you to ignore, and maybe you would’ve if you and Jimin had not carelessly walked so close to where he was sitting.

“Oh god, why is he still there?” You quickly attempt to hide behind Jimin, the latter being somewhat taken aback by your sudden change in demeanor.

“Who?” He looks around obliviously before his eyes land on the very person you were referring to. “Oh, him?”

Said “him” just happens to be Kim Taehyung, and he was quietly sitting on the bench by the same park you had saw him suddenly appear at this morning. He was just staring at the ground absentmindedly, not even noticing you and Jimin standing a mere ten feet away from him.

“Shhhh” You quickly reach up to cover Jimin’s mouth as if it would prevent Taehyung from spotting you, which seems downright futile in hindsight because honestly if Taehyung actually cared about your presence, he would’ve gotten up by now.

“You know him?” Jimin mumbles, speech muffled by your hands.

“He’s just some crazy guy I ran into this morning.” You explain, releasing your hold on his mouth. “The reason I was late in the first place was because I couldn’t get him off my back.”

“Was he insistent on getting your number?”

“No, no” You shake your head. “He kept asking for my help because he claimed to be a crown prince of this snow kingdom and was sent to earth to find something.”

There’s a fleeting pause before you hear Jimin laugh out loud, throwing his head back and everything.

“I’ll give him props for being creative.” Jimin says in between fading giggles.

You roll your eyes, slumping your shoulders in defeat. You hadn’t noticed until now, and you blame Jimin for laughing so loudly, but Taehyung had looked up from the ground and was now staring at you and Jimin.

“Hey, he’s looking at us” Jimin comments as you continue to make eye contact with Taehyung. “Should we, uh, go before he comes over?”

You can hear Jimin’s question loud and clear, but your eyes remain glued to the boy sitting on the bench. It’s strange that you’re just now noticing how odd and unearthly his appearance was. His sculpted, almost otherworldly, facial structure and flawlessly transparent skin was clearly not a result of makeup, and the way that his silver speckled irises expressed a sort of disorientation that made your heart clench ever so slightly should’ve been enough to convince you that he was maybe telling the truth. As absurd as his whole story was, you somehow begin to think he maybe wasn’t lying about being from another world, but it wasn’t his strikingly non-human features that made you want to help him, it was the way he dropped his gaze, not even making a motion to stand up, the pure hopelessness engulfing his entire being that compelled you to walk over to him, even though Jimin was baffled as fuck by now.  

“Y/N” You vaguely hear Jimin call from behind you, but you don’t stop until you’re standing right in front of the male sitting on the bench, who by now is looking as confused as Jimin.

“Prince Taehyung, right?” You voice, crossing your arms as his head tilts up to look at you.

You watch Taehyung’s Adam’s apple bobble up and down as he swallows nervously while he nods.

“You’re very far from home and you can’t get back until you’ve discovered the meaning of crystal snow, correct?”

He nods again.

You let out a long sigh. “I’ll help you.” At this point, you don’t even know what possessed you to act so boldly. It was like you were in some role-playing mode where you had this urge to act all cool and pretend that the situation wasn’t completely ludicrous. But he did appear out of nowhere, so he was either telling the truth or just a really talented magician. You hope it's the former.  

“You will??!!”

Both Jimin and Taehyung speak at the same time, almost making you jump out of your furry down jacket. It was almost amusing how similar their reactions were, but it evidently wasn’t the time to laugh.

You clear your throat and looked back and forth between the two of them. “Yeah.” You finally manage to say with poise before beginning to walk as they both scrambled to follow you.

“Will you take me to find crystal snow?” Taehyung’s deep voice is a clear contrast to Jimin’s slightly high-pitched tone.

“I would if I knew where that could be found.” You reply.

“Does it not snow on earth?”

“It does, but it’s just…snow.” You pause to think. This was going to be a lot harder than you had originally planned. You had completely forgotten the reason Taehyung had even asked for your aid, and truthfully, you didn’t really think this whole “offer help” thing through before just jumping into it. “There are places around the world where it snows more than others. Like the north and south pole…” You trail off.

“Can you take me there!?” Taehyung sounds too hopeful, and you almost want to tell him that people don’t actually go to those places and there was no way in hell you were going to accompany him in the event he decides to go.

“Whoa there, she’s not going anywhere with you.” Jimin interrupts, making you wonder why he was getting so protective all of a sudden. It’s not that he ever acted like he didn’t care or put on an absentminded façade when it came to you, in fact he had been your best friend for years and always looked out for you, but his particular reaction at that moment would have any outsider wondering if he was-

“Are you her suiter?” Taehyung’s direct question makes both you and Jimin fall silent. You’re cheeks begin to heat up, and judging by the way he was sinking deeper into his scarf to hide his face, Jimin was feeling quite embarrassed to.

An awkward silence falls over the three of you.

“We’re just friends.” You finally manage to voice, avoiding direct eye contact with either of them.

The rest of the walk to your apartment is strangely less dramatic, other than Taehyung explaining everything about the place he came from, and why he needed to find this mysterious crystal snow that you’re starting to think is going to be impossible now.

“Each ruler brings a different kind of snow to the kingdom. My father’s snow is opaque and white. The flecks of precipitate are large and float for long periods, dancing in midair before slowly drifting to the ground, which is why our nation is called the Kingdom of Ivory Petals while it is under his rule. The prophecy states mine will be crystal.” Taehyung’s explanation almost sounds like a fairytale, something too distant to grasp or even fully comprehend.

“So when you take the throne it will be called Crystal Snow?” You inquire, switching the lamp next to the couch in the living room on and allowing light to fill the previously dark room.

“Yes, the Kingdom of Crystal Snow.” Taehyung gazes wistfully out the window at the sparkling cityscape that is now twinkling in the distance.

Jimin nods slowly. “That sounds really cool, but we don’t really categorize our snow like that, or more accurately, it doesn’t hold as deep of a meaning here on earth. 

“Are you sure it’s actual snow and not some sort of gemstone we have to dig up from the ground?” At this point, you’re just throwing out random ideas because you have this hunch that it’ll increase the chances of hitting a plausible target.  

Taehyung shakes his head dismally. “I wish the sorceress told me more.”

You continue to run through anything and everything you can think of, but none of it sounded likely. By the time you were finished, it was already verging on midnight.

“Why don’t you spend a few days in the city, see if you can find anything here and then decide what to do next. I mean, you were sent here for a reason, right? Maybe what you’re looking for is closer than we think.” The tone of your voice sounds more encouraging than you actually feel, but it was the best decision you could come up with for now.

“Yeah, and it’s the holidays, maybe something magical will happen.” Jimin agrees and Taehyung doesn’t argue.

 …

 So it’s not that Jimin wanted to leave you with a stranger in your house, knowing him, he’d want anything but that. But the truth of the matter was, he lived with 5 other guys and there was just no way their tiny apartment could fit an extra person, not when Jungkook was already exiled to the couch.  

And Taehyung seemed harmless enough, because by the next morning you wake up to him lying face flat on your couch, snoozing away like any other 20-something year old college student who had just pulled consecutive all-nighters right after finals.

You’d be doubting the validity of his royal claims if it weren’t for-

“We need to get you some new clothes.” You eye his princely wardrobe up and down. “This isn’t going to cut it if you don’t want to stick out like a sore thumb.” You tug on Taehyung’s blue and silver robe and scrunch your nose at how distasteful it looks. Don’t get you wrong, like it was gorgeous for a Halloween costume and all, but completely unfit to roam a modern city in.

“This” Taehyung holds his sleeve in front of your face. “is made from the finest silks harvested in the everlasting ice caves. Its fibers are crystalized for decades before they are deemed fit for our most skilled tailors to transform into fabric for the royal families.”

You can tell he’s mildly offended, but what else could you do? You couldn’t just let him walk around like that. “And it’s gorgeous, so wouldn’t it be better if it doesn’t get ruined on Earth?” You’re fairly proud of yourself for coming up with such a convincing argument, one that to your relief works because fortunately for you, Taehyung is relatively cooperative for a prince set to be king.  

But you’ve spoken a bit too soon.

It shouldn’t have come as a surprise that finding clothes on earth that Taehyung would actually be willing to wear is a challenge in and of itself. You sort of expected that a prince would have expensive tastes, but you had no idea he’d have such an affinity for luxury brands. In retrospect, maybe you shouldn’t have taken him down the street where only the wealthiest of city dwellers even dare to tread (or the poor who go to window shop in prospects of experiencing that sensation of being surrounded by gold).

It was supposed to be out of sight out of mind, but by the time you recognized your mistake, it was too late because his eyes literally lit up as you passed the likes of Saint Laurent, Valentino, Givenchy, and most notably…Gucci. And you most certainly can’t believe you are dropping 4K for an outfit you are buying for someone you just met yesterday, but at least you can return it as soon as he leaves earth…right?

“So how do you like it?” You watch as Taehyung examines his reflection in the mirror of the shop, turning and doing all of these model like poses that you swear he must have practiced, because how?!?

“It’s quite nice” Taehyung responds, fixing the collar of the floral button up and performing one last pose in the mirror. He then turns to you with a faint smile that makes your heart skip a beat. “Thank you.” 

Fuck. Why does he look like he just walked off the cover of Vogue?

“Uh, yeah, n-no problem” You reply rather nervously, questioning why the room was getting so hot all of a sudden. 

So maybe Taehyung didn’t force you to buy anything for him, you wanted to ok? You just couldn’t bring yourself to denying him of something he clearly wanted, clearly as in nonverbally spoke to you through his sultry eyes. Fuck.

People on the streets start doing double takes, even going as far as to ask what agency he models for. Taehyung doesn’t understand why everyone passing by is staring at him like he’s some circus freak, only blinking in a dumbfounded way when he flashes them an innocently shy smile that puts your maternal instincts on overdrive. Some girl runs up and asked for a picture with him, in which you have to kindly turn down through partly gritted teeth. You were beginning to wonder why you even bothered to buy him “normal” clothes when he’s drawing just as much attention as he would’ve had he been wearing his royal attire.

“So the weatherman said there’s an 80% chance of snow tomorrow.” You look up from your phone app.

“The weatherman?” Taehyung tilts his head as he looks at you like you had just spoken in a language he didn’t understand. “Is he the ruler of snow on this planet?”

You have to hold back a laugh at his childish statement that sounded downright silly yet came off endearing because he genuinely didn’t know. “No Tae, he’s uh, just some guy that makes predictions about the upcoming weather based on atmospheric readings and stuff.” You pause, realizing Taehyung is probably not going to understand any of what you just said.

“So like a wizard?”

“Uh, yeah sure” You lie, not wanting to go into an entire lesson on something that doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.

“Will it be the first snow of the winter?”

“Huh?”

Whether it was because Taehyung’s question had caught you off guard or the way he was gently staring at you, crystal clear pupils with cerulean hues searching into yours like he waiting for a sign of recognition or anticipating something magical to happen. You find yourself with a blank mind, mouth waiting to relay a response but getting no signal from your brain. “I-I guess it will be.” You murmur, averting your eyes and clearing your throat before your body loses any more of its functionality.

“I really hope I make it back before the first snow hits the kingdom.” He’s not looking at you anymore, but instead staring at the clear sky.  

“Does something happen if you don’t?” Your eyes follow his to some fictional place above.  

He turns back to you. “I will lose my right to the throne.”

You swallow heavily. “Dang…that sounds pretty serious.”

“My father is prophesized to pass this winter.”

You don’t really know how to respond to such a revelation, not that you were ever good at consoling people to begin with. You literally tried to crack a joke when Jimin’s cat died two years ago and thought it would cheer him up, which ended up doing more harm than good.  

“So basically the first snow will be your coronation.” You attempt to use reasoning this time around.

Taehyung nods. “If the flakes are not crystal, the people will not accept me as the new king.”

 …

 So as expected, the weatherman was wrong about the snow. You weren’t excessively disappointed because you had never put much faith into the accuracy of weather predictions, if anything you just felt kind of bad for Taehyung because you found him eagerly sitting by the window the next morning, waiting for white snowflakes to fall from the sky. Which they never do because weather readings are shitty, and nothing on earth is ever 100% guaranteed, even if it claims to be.

You don’t think you’ve ever hated the weatherman this much for being wrong.

“It’s bound to snow eventually.” You pat Taehyung on the shoulder, a weak form of comfort, but within the same category nonetheless. “We’ve always had a white Christmas, and even if the weather says it’s not going to snow, there are a lot of miracles around this time of year.” You personally don’t believe in miracles, but the words had flown out of your mouth before you had a chance to stop them.  

Taehyung just nods, not fully understanding what Christmas miracles were since it’s probably not a cultural thing where he’s from, but he does understand what you’re trying to do, and you’re relieved you’ve managed to restore some of his optimism.  

“So what’s the Winter Kingdom like?” You query, thinking that perhaps knowing more about him and where he’s from will reveal some clues as to why his snow is destined to be crystal…not that you understood the differences between the various types of snow or anything. But small talk, right?

“Cold.” He grins, mouth forming a rectangular shape and you wonder why you never noticed how distinct his smile is, but then you come to realize that this was the first time you’ve seen him smile in such a way, like really beam so brightly that his lips are stretching from ear to ear. “The land is blanketed in sheets of snow, and all of our infrastructure is made of diamond-like ice.”  

“Do you miss it?”  

Taehyung sighs. “In all honesty, I don’t.”

Your ears perk up, eyelids fluttering open wider. “So you don’t actually want to go back?”

“Not if I had a choice.” He looks at the floor and smiles less enthusiastically. “It’s not very fun tending to royal matters every day, but my people need me, and it is my duty to take the place of my father.”

“Oh, right…”

 …

  Jimin doesn’t think any of this is actually going to work out. He doesn’t have faith, and you don’t blame him. Heck, you more than fully agree with his doubt, but you were really being unlike yourself for not giving up despite the odds. You had spent the last weekend scouring the city for clues, nonexistent ones at that, but a little voice inside was threatening you with the belief that if you didn’t at least look like you were trying, Taehyung would leave and look for someone more “qualified”. He would finally come to terms with how useless you were, and leave you…not that you wanted him to stay…but you more than obviously do. 

“I’m not trying to be a Debbie Downer, but Y/N, do you seriously think he’s going to find his ticket to the throne here on earth?”

“Well what am I supposed to do, Jimin?” You burry your head in his couch cushion that smells oddly like Jungkook, and you know exactly why. You scrunch your nose and toss it off to the side. “He’s all alone, and I barely had the guts to come over here today and just leave him by himself at my place.”

“You left him in you’re apartment…alone?” Jimin’s jaw hangs slightly.

You narrow your eyes suspiciously. “You’re point?”

“I dunno. Like what if he burns the whole place down or something?”

“Why are you acting like he’s a pyromaniac? He’s a winter prince.” You cross your arms protectively, frowning at how ridiculous you thought Jimin was being. 

“You didn’t even trust me to be alone with your laptop until we had known each other for months, and now you’re just letting strangers stay at your place alone?” Jimin looks to be a mix of disbelief and a tinge of jealousy.

“Jimin, I’ve been sleeping with the guy for the past week, if he wanted to kidnap me or steal my stuff, he would’ve done it by now.”

“You’ve already slept with him?!” He probably didn’t intend for his voice to get so loud or for it to sound so alarmed, but it does and it makes you jump a little in your seat.

“Not like sleep, sleep…but just sleep, you know?” You quickly defend.

A look of relief washes over Jimin’s face, not that he really cared who you actually slept with…it’s just surprising to him that you would trust someone so easily, when he literally had to work his butt off to even get you to go out to eat with him and his buddies for the first few months you had met. 

“But still…what does he have that I don’t?” He mutters.

“Height” Jungkook’s voice startles the both of you, but he was clearly unaware of what you two were actually talking about by the way he nonchalantly plops down on the couch and turns on the TV.

Jimin looks like he’s about to run up and kick the younger male’s ass, but refrains from doing so seeing as though you were still in the room.  

“How did you know he was tall?” You inquire, astonished that Jimin would tell Jungkook about Taehyung without your permission.

Jungkook casually turns to look at you. “Who?”

“Taehyung”

“Who’s Taehyung?”

“The guy-” You stop yourself before continuing. “Wait, so who were you referring to when you said he had height over Jimin.”

“Well, I mean, isn’t every one taller than Jimin?” Jungkook cackles obnoxiously, leaning back against the couch.

“Do you want me to kick you in the balls?” Jimin’s voice is strained as he tries to hold back his annoyance.

“Can you guys not do this now?” You roll your eyes at their childishness.

“So who’s this Taehyung guy?” Jungkook cocks a brow. “New boyfriend?”

“He’s a prince.” Jimin mutters.

“A prince?” Jungkook huffs dubiously.

“He’s not from around here.” You explain.

It takes a good half an hour for you and Jimin to convince Jungkook that the two of you weren’t pulling some lame prank on him. Jungkook isn’t exactly the type to cast aside something just because it sounds outlandish, but he’s also not going to readily believe in whatever his friends tell him, especially something as unbelievable as this.

“Crystal Snow huh?” Jungkook’s eyes are wide as he stares into oblivion, nodding his head as he pokes his tongue in his cheek. “Like snowflakes?”

You shake your head. “That’s what I thought at first too, but apparently there’s a deeper meaning.”

“Of course there’s a deeper meaning. If it was just snow, I doubt he’d be sent to earth to find something his entire kingdom is covered in, literally.” Jimin tosses a couch cushion to the side and leans forward against his knees. “It has to be something he can only find here…like love or something.”

“As expected from the romantic one…” Jungkook mutters.

“Last time I checked, you wanted to meet your soulmate by hearing a bell in your head.” You comment, knowing fully well that it’s something your group of friends still make fun of him for, playfully of course. Jungkook’s face heats up, but you decide to not see how red it can get.

You turn to Jimin instead. “So you’re saying love doesn’t exist back in his kingdom?”

Jimin furrows his brows. “I’m just saying it’s probably not something tangible and snow is always portrayed as romantic or at least somewhat along those lines, right?”

“Wow, you two are really determined.” Jungkook comments before getting up and heading to the kitchen to grab something to eat. The room feels a lot dimmer now that the television screen is back to black.

“Maybe make him watch some romantic winter movies?” Jimin suggests. “And if that doesn’t work-“

“If that doesn’t work, I guess I’ll just have to hope he’ll have an ‘ah-ha’ moment when it actually snows.” You sigh, finishing the sentence for him.  

 …

 So maybe Jimin was right about leaving strangers alone in your apartment, or maybe you should’ve told Taehyung how to turn on the lights because by the time you make it back, the entire place was pitch black. But that couldn’t be it because you could’ve sworn he had seen you turn on the light switch before and he was definitely intelligent enough to put one and one together.

Then you realize the power must’ve gone out because the entire complex was void of light and freezing cold because the heating had ceased as well.

“Taehyung?” You call out, feeling against the walls with your outstretched arms.

“I’m in the bedroom” You hear a familiar baritone voice drift over, and sure enough there he is, overgrown bangs covering his glossy eyes.

“What are you doing in here?” You question, barely able to make out the silhouette of the man standing by the window where the smallest amount of moonlight was filtering in through the blinds.

“Sorry, I was just looking through some of your old pictures.” He murmurs. “And then the lights went out and I thought I had angered the gods, but they won’t seem to listen to my apology.”

He genuinely sounded scared, and you have to try and not run up to give him a hug. “It’s just a power outage. The lights will be back in no time.” You reassure him, despite knowing that the electricity won’t be back until tomorrow at the earliest.

“So it wasn’t me?”

You shake your head. “Of course not!”

“Oh, ok, that’s good.” He slowly puts the photo he was still nervously holding in his hands back in to the bedside drawer. “Well, I’ll just let you rest…”

He starts to walk out the room, but something about being left alone in a cold dark room makes you-

“Do you want to sleep here tonight?” Your question hangs in midair, long enough to notice, but not long enough to make you retract your offer before Taehyung could accept it.  

And you didn’t know why you were expecting him to be icy cold, but he was actually inexplicably warm. Warmer than the rays of sun hitting your skin on a chilly winter day, warmer than the wisps of heat from a crackling fireplace in the middle of a snowstorm, and certainly warmer than you imagined a winter prince would be.

“Is this ok?” Taehyung’s voice is low and creamy, and it makes you wonder if you are dreaming as you nuzzle closer to his chest. You don’t really know how it happened, but somehow you ended up in a position where you were enveloped in Taehyung’s arms, but you have a hunch it’s because you were shivering so hard he felt obligated to offer you some warmth. Or maybe there was more to it than that.

“Are you uncomfortable?” You murmur lazily, pulling back a little out of courtesy.  

“No, no” Taehyung replies quickly. “It’s just…I-I’ve never shared a bed with a woman.” His statement is so soft you almost couldn’t make out the last part.

“Oh right, royal marriages are arranged” If you weren’t already half asleep your heart would be racing by now and you’d be tripping over your words like there’s no tomorrow. “Don’t over think it. Just do whatever feels right.”

You’re lucky Taehyung’s a gentleman, or more accurately a noble prince because two practical strangers doing whatever feels right in bed usually doesn’t end up being right.

Taehyung shifts into a more comfortable position, one in which your face is buried into the crook of his neck and his chin is resting gently on top of your head. The world was still moving at its regular pace, and the room was icy cold, but the heat of his body is lulling you into the realm of slumber.

  …

  “It’s called science”

You didn’t really know what you were doing with a glass cup and silver spoon, mixing a whole bunch of salt in not enough water, an attempt to create an oversaturated solution.

“Science?” He says it in that same confused tone he always does, and it makes you flash him an assertive look that is not fitting of your randomly conjured idea.  

“If it’s not going to snow, we’re going to make crystals some other way.” You reason in an attempt to sound like you know what you are doing.

Confidence is key.  

You even had a rock candy jar set up in the kitchen this morning, and you were planning on going window shopping in some of the jewelry stores downtown right after you set up the evaporation apparatus.

Maybe you were just insane and maybe all of your efforts are useless, but you didn’t want to give up. And despite never being the type to clutch onto unrealistic expectations or endure through things that you knew you’d never succeed in, you were somehow persuading yourself that as long as you kept trying, something was bound to come out of it. As pathetic as it sounds, you were also secretly enjoying all of this just, success or failure, because it meant spending more time with Taehyung. Seriously, what was wrong with you?

Impractical logic aside, thank goodness the jewelry shops downtown are not on the same street as the luxury fashion brands, because your wallet still hasn’t recovered from being sucked dry at Gucci, and you know for a fact that another look of longing from Taehyung’s glittery eyes will weaken your already crumbling resolve to not put yourself deeper in financial debt.

Strolling along the shop lined streets; you gradually forget why you were looking at jewelry to begin with because Taehyung starts humming this beautiful melody that you are sure isn’t from Earth, and it urges you to allow yourself to enjoy his soothing company, freed from all the concerns that had subconsciously plagued your mind, even if it’s just for a little while.

There was virtually no one in the area, sans the occasional car and dog walker. You presume it’s because everyone had already finished doing all of their Christmas shopping by now and were probably all waiting to exchange gifts in 2 days. It’s serene and relieving to know you don’t find the need to fill in the silence, because just walking alongside Taehyung was comfortable enough to feel at home, something you don’t think you’ve ever experienced before, because even with Jimin, things get a bit awkward if neither of you talk for longer than 10 minutes.

Hours pass by and you start to wonder if the salt water from this morning has already evaporated from the shallow dish you had poured it in, or if sugar crystals have latched onto the string inside the Mason jar. Just as you were pondering over these things, Taehyung stops in front of one of the jewelry shops, staring at a stunning gemstone through the freshly cleaned glass window.

“It’s a diamond wedding ring.” You explain casually, glancing over at the piece he was observing. “Cause diamonds are supposed to be a symbol of forever and stuff.” You shrug, not really interested in these kind of things since marriage was leagues away from your current very, solo, single life.

“A diamond wedding ring?” Taehyung’s curiosity surprises you.

“Yeah, in our world we used those for marriage.”

“Ah, the union of two lovers.” Taehyung nods in understanding. “We have something similar back in the kingdom, but it’s made of a kind of ice that never melts.”

This time it’s your turn to nod, and although you are trying to avoid eye contact for reasons you claim you aren’t aware of, you can feel his attention settle on you once more. “So ummm, have you-uh…do you know who…” You bite your lip, regretting even bringing the topic up. How the hell did that question slip out?  

Taehyung shakes his head. “There was another part to the prophecy…” He inhales deeply before proceeding. “I will rule without a queen.” 

Your eyes widen at his statement. “Wait, what? Why?” You don’t know why you’re getting so worked up over something that doesn’t even really affect you, or at least, isn’t supposed to. But it isn’t even just you; because who wouldn’t find a prophecy like that beyond unbelievable? Not only was it was unfair, but it also made no sense whatsoever because doesn’t every ruler have to procreate? What King rules without a Queen? How else are they supposed to continue the royal bloodline?

Taehyung huffs a weak laugh, one that gives off a powerless sort of acceptance. “When I first heard about this, I thought I was surely cursed. But the sorceress told me that I end up living a happy life, so maybe it’s not as bad as it sounds.”

“Geez” You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “This prophecy sounds more and more like some evil doctrine written by the angry gods.”

Taehyung turns to you with a playful glint in his eyes, and you’re caught between a storm of pity and endearment. “Because I looked through your old photographs without your permission, right?” You know he’s trying to lighten the mood, and you’re more than grateful you don’t have to use you nonexistent comforting skills. 

You laugh lightheartedly. “Eh, it’s fine. I don’t have any dark secrets that need to remain buried. Although I would prefer that one photo of me with birthday cake all over my face to remain anonymous.”

“You were very cute as a child,” He unexpectedly says before pausing and adding- “Still are.”

“W-what?” Your heart skips a beat and you can sense the heat rapidly flooding your cheeks. “I-I, uh…thanks?” You mentally face palm at your own awkward response, but what were you supposed to say when he just blurts stuff out like it was the most normal compliment he could’ve given you in that not-so-suitable moment?

You almost feel attacked (in a good way, you guess…). It’s definitely not how you ever imagined being complimented, but it makes a kind of giddy warmth spread throughout your chest, and you almost forget about the bitter cold wind that is blowing towards your face.

  …

  You were originally planning on going home for Christmas, but you didn’t think introducing Taehyung to your family and extended family would be a very good idea. Not that you wouldn’t love to see the jealous look on all of you female cousins’ faces if they assumed you had found a new boyfriend who was hot as hell, with visuals that were literally unreal if you had to describe it in not-so-poetic words.

“Can we go there?” Taehyung points at the scene in the television where one of your favorite Christmas movies was flashing across the screen.

So yeah, the Grinch isn’t exactly a romantic winter movie, but you really wanted to watch something festive and traditional, especially since Christmas films were something you looked forward to watching every year. 

“It’s just a movie. Whoville isn’t real.” Your eyes remained glued to the screen where the people of Whoville were waking up and realizing all of their presents and Christmas decorations were stolen.  

“Oh…it’s not?”

There’s a certain amount of disappointment tangled in his voice, tearing your attention away from the movie. You never felt bad about being direct with Taehyung, and he never took your blatant honesty offensively (minus that time with his silk robe), but it’s been an entire two weeks and the two of you had not come any closer to finding crystal snow, or any snow at all for that matter. You could tell he was starting to lose hope, and you can’t help but feel regretful about how limited your aid to him was.

“Listen Tae, I’m sorry I’ve been the shittiest form of help you had the misfortune of finding on this planet-” You’re not allowed to finish what you were going to say because the hand that reaches up and caresses your cheek makes you stop mid-sentence, mouth still hanging agape.

Lifting your gaze you are met with a pair of eyes so tender that you swear your breathing has stopped all together. There is a stillness that falls over your living room, and even the subtle flashing of the TV in your peripheral is not enough to convince you that time has not stopped as well.

“Your kindness was more than I could’ve asked for.” His eyes are now tracing along the contours of your face as he continues to cup your jaw in his graceful hands, skin smooth and soft. You vaguely see his tongue poke out and wet his lips from the corner of your eye, but your attention was too focused on his glistening pupils in that moment to notice him leaning closer and closer, until the distance between the two of you was nonexistent.

His lips envelope yours in slow and steady strides. Taking his time to taste you like the most opulent fruit in the forbidden garden, and allowing you to subside from initial shock and fall into the realm of relishing in the sweetness of his enchanting touch. You lose track of the seconds that pass by, and you don’t notice the movie ending and the screen fading to black. Fuzzy clouds that are too nebulous to make out are gradually beginning to cover the moon, and that’s when the magic happens.

“It’s snowing!” You gasp as he breaks away from the kiss.

Taehyung’s gaze trails after the finger you had lifted to point out the window.

 …

 Once upon a time, a winter prince fell in love and crystals fell from the sky.

You don’t remember what happened after it started snowing last night. You do, however, recall running out the door without your coat and forgetting about how easy it was to catch a cold because you were too excited over nothing as you soon came to discover the next day.

“You should be glad I called Seokjin right away.” Jimin says as he feeds you a spoonful of hot soup, courtesy of the resident chef.

“I could’ve just called him myself.” You defend, voice hindered by your stuffy nose.

“But then I still would’ve had to bring it over.” Jimin counters. “Am I right or am I right?”

You mildly roll your eyes. “Yes, Jimin, thank you for the kindness you have shown me.”  

“Well, at least I know you’d do the same for me.” His eyes transform into half moons as he beams, choosing to ignore your sarcastic tone.

“Would I though?”

Jimin’s crescents narrow into slits, and he stops feeding you.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Of course I would!”

His smile makes a return. “By the way, where’s Taehyung?”

You nod your head towards the bedroom window, facing the area where Taehyung was still outside watching the snowfall.

“I’m still banking on that ‘ah-ha’ moment, because after this, I’m all out of ideas.”

“Did you make him watch romantic winter movies?”

“Umm, not exactly…” Your mind has a flashback of scenes from the Grinch, and subsequently the kiss that happened less than 12 hours ago. You inform Jimin of what had happened, skipping the unnecessary details for obvious reasons.

“You kissed?!” He shouts so loudly you swear Taehyung could hear him from outside.

“Yeah… about that… I don’t know how it happened, but I didn’t pull away and it was actually…quite nice….” You scratch the back of your neck awkwardly.

“Oh my fucking god.”

“Why are you acting like I did something illegal?”

“It’s not that…” Jimin sighs. “It’s just…you’ve really fallen hard.”

You cross your arms defensively, pursing your lips and scrunching your nose in distaste. “And you would know because…?”

“Y/N, you’re friends with six of the hottest guys in the country, and we’ve all tried to get in your pants at one point or another. Minus Jungkook who couldn’t talk to girls until a year ago.” He lays out the facts on the table.

Your face twists in mild disgust. “Stop stroking your ego. And ewww, can you not put it so vulgarly?”

Jimin lets out a prolonged sigh. “The point is, you don’t fall for people easily, and the fact that you were soft for him from the start really says something.”

You ponder over what Jimin had said- the conclusion that he, as your friend of many years, had come to- and deem it not incorrect, yes, double negative. But you also weren’t so keen on readily accepting the indisputable fact that you had fallen for someone who was not even of your world, and a prince of all unearthly beings you could’ve had the chance of stumbling upon.

Completely absurd, right?

Taehyung comes back inside shortly after Jimin leaves in the evening. He had been outside all day and yet his body temperature is still as warm as it always is. He slips into bed quietly, assuming that you were asleep but you stir a little to signal to him that you were still awake. For once you are glad that your fever can act as an excuse for how flushed your cheeks are looking, not that it would’ve been obvious in the dark room anyways.

“So did you find it?” You inquire meekly, face still half covered by your blanket.

He hums delicately, eyes still concentrated on the wintry scenery outside.  

“I think I’m leaving soon.”

You poke your head above the covers in minor shock. You obviously hadn’t expected this moment to come so quickly, but then again, you had been hoping the snow would provide him the answers he was searching for, and it was supposed to be a relief that it did. It’s just you had anticipated to have more time to at least say goodbye, but it seems that you will not be granted that kind of closing fulfillment.  

“I can sense her approach.” Taehyung says, voice not giving away any sort of emotion from what you could tell.

“Holy shit, the sorceress?”

He nods and you can hear the friction of his head against the pillow.

“Am I going to like, meet her? Is she scary?”

“No and no” He chuckles lightly. “She will not appear in her physical form when she comes to take me, but she is very beautiful.”

“So the Winter Kingdom is just full of ethereal creatures.”

“That’s one way to put it.” The both of you laugh, but it doesn’t wash away the subtle stinging that lodges itself in your throat.

A long silent passes, and neither of you make a move to address the unknown fate that is drifting in the space between you.

At one point you almost do it, just ask the question that is burning on the tip of your tongue, but you’re afraid to hear the answer you fear he’s going to give you. Maybe it’s best that you don’t know, so that you can continue to believe in happy endings.

 …

  When Taehyung does leave, he does so soundlessly. Early the next morning in those seconds before dawn where the sky is the darkest but the sun is just around the corner.

To him the feeling is foreign even though he is being taken home, and there is a certain amount of uncertainty and hesitation even though the sorceress reassures him the prophecy has, indeed, been fulfilled.

“You understand now, don’t you?” The elderly woman’s voice echoes under the ethereal light raining down from above, colors splitting into their respective wavelengths and casting rainbows in the space around him.

Taehyung only nods at her words, not entirely paying attention to how he was being transported back to the Winter Kingdom. But it didn’t really matter because he’s preparing to re-enter the palace, to be welcomed by his family, and to fall back into his old life.  

The palace has not changed one bit, walls still as smooth and icy as they were when he left, albeit he has not been gone for all that long. His mother is ecstatic to have him back, and his father only nods in acceptance knowing his reign will soon come to an end.

“Welcome back, my son.” The King is perched on his throne, looking down at the prince who will soon be inheriting his kingdom.

“Thank you father” Taehyung bows ceremoniously.

“I assume you have learned what you needed?” The King’s voice is not harsh, but laced with a hue of sympathy that is unlike his usual demanding self, like he knew the destiny that was to befall his son and was feeling rather apologetic.

“Yes, father.”

“Very well then.” He exhales before calling for one of the royal servants to bring Taehyung up to his bedroom, a magnificent chamber located on the second floor of the Winter Palace.

Taehyung bows one last time before taking his leave back to his room where he can have time to think over all that has happened. Never had his legs felt this heavy walking up the grand staircase, and never has he felt this reluctant to walk into his room as if he had never left, as if the past few weeks was nothing more than a distant dream.  

“Your majesty, would you like change out of those… rags?” The servant lady’s comment was not intended to be offensive, but the way she referred to his earthly garments sparked a flame of anger in Taehyung, one that he would’ve acted upon had his mother not walked in before he could contest. 

“He most certainly would.” Her voice is commanding but not forceful enough to come off as aggressive.

“Mother” Taehyung gasps.  

“My son, I’m so glad you are back.” She walks over and embraced Taehyung warmly, a hug he eagerly returns. “How was it? How do you feel? Were the people on Earth kind to you?” The questions come quicker than he can answer. 

“It was amazing, mother. I was so happy.” He rests his head against her shoulder, staying in that position for just a tad bit longer.  

“You met her, didn’t you?” She murmurs.  

Taehyung nods tenderly, trying to come to terms with the muted aching that has settled in his chest, making a home at the center of his heart.

The layers of contiguous white expanse covering the land are waiting to welcome the snow his heartfelt yearning will bring as the frozen trees and icy cottages display the timelessly enthralling scenery he has known since he was born.

The people of his kingdom will never know the true meaning behind the snow he is destined to gift the wintry world, but he knows, and despite the hidden sadness that lies at the root of its beauty, he’s holding onto the conviction that it will become less painful one day.

You had defied every expectation he had for the meaning of his snow; every possible explanation the world could have given him an answer for, as well as everything he ever knew about himself and what his heart is capable of creating. His snow that is breathtakingly beautiful and different from that of all of his predecessors is a precious fairytale that will remain engraved in history books for several millennia.  

The yearning of star-crossed lovers who have not given up on the hope that they will one day meet again, like crystals that have yet to melt into tears.

“Someday…” Taehyung whispers, gazing at the crystal flowers that are now starting to gently fall from the sky.

   On particularly cold winter days you still think about him.

You don’t draw upon those memories on purpose, and they aren’t called forth as often as they used to be, but there are times when you are walking on untouched white expanses or when you experience the first snowfall of the season, that you are reminded of the enchanting circumstances in which you met him.

Sometimes you wonder if any of it actually happened. If he was real and still exists somewhere…out there, in the prisms of crystallized snowflakes that hold entire stories within their multidimensional crevices, and if he is perhaps thinking of you.

“Someday…” You voice into the wind.

You close your eyes, basking amidst the warm sunlight cascading from the clear, cloudless firmament, but you can’t seem to be left in peace because-

“Are you just talking to yourself?”

Your eyes flutter open, whipping your head around to see Jimin trudging up the path that is now covered in 6 inches of freshly fallen snow.

“I-uh, umm” You’re at loss for words because you swear you were alone, and no one has ever caught you in your most private moments. “I was just clearing my head.”

“You’re thinking about him aren’t you?” His question was so direct you find yourself at loss for words for the second time in a row.

“Does it matter? He’s gone.”

“Have you tried calling him back?”

You scoff. “Are you indirectly making fun of me right now?”

Jimin shakes his head violently. “No! Why would I do that?”

“Jimin, he’s from another world. It’s not like I have any way of reaching him now.”

“But still, you can’t give up hope that easily.”

As pathetic as it sounds, truthfully, you really haven’t given up hope. Because if you did, you wouldn’t still be thinking about him in your loneliest moments, and as much as you want to wave off thoughts of him returning, you can’t help but clutch onto that thread of possibility still shining brilliantly like diamonds under the sun. 

And it is on a particularly chilly day, characteristic of all winters, that Jimin’s words prove themselves right, although you refuse to give him credit for anything.

“Y/N!”

The all too familiar baritone voice startles you to the point where you find yourself stumbling backwards, slipping on a small patch of ice, and landing flat on your butt. Normally you’d be cursing in pain, but you’re too busy staring in awe of the man standing before you that you completely forget about the excruciatingly embarrassing fall you had just taken part in.

“T-Taehyung?”

“Are you ok?” He furrows his eyebrows in concern, causing you to realize you were still sprawled on the ground.

“I-uh, yeah I’m fine. B-but how-?” You cautiously stand up, dusting the snow off your pants, eyes never leaving the face of the impossibly ethereal person positioned before you.

“I decided to come back.” The boxy smile that causes warmth to spread throughout your entire being makes an appearance and lights up his face. You have to blink several times to make sure you are not seeing things, and that he is indeed not a figment of your imagination in that split second.

You can barely digest the situation you were in. “But what about you’re family? Your people! The Kingdom!?”

He chuckles. “I left it in good hands.” He voices proudly. “And it’s still snowing crystals.”

“But, but, but…” There was so much you wanted to ask. So much you didn’t understand, and it didn’t help that you were both now standing the middle of the park that has now transformed into a winter wonderland.

Taehyung reaches up to cups your cheeks in his hands, melting your frost bitten skin. “I missed you.” He whispers. “And I finally found the meaning of my snow.”

Snowflakes that freeze slowly into the clearest form of ice, pure and gentle, the way tender emotions develop into deep, everlasting love.

You aren’t able to hear the rest of what he says, or maybe he doesn’t even bother to finish because he obviously can’t kiss you and speak at the same time. All you can remember is him momentarily breaking away to ask-

“Can I be your one?”

-and you nodding before feeling the gentle touch of his lips connected to yours once again.

So yeah, you were right about believing in happy endings.  

...

[lalka-laski]

Have you ever disliked someone just because a friend disliked them? Yes, that's called loyalty. If you treat my loved ones poorly, you are no friend of mine. Which would you rather own: A camera or a video camera. Why? Well it's the 21st century so I have a phone that does both Have you ever won a lot of money in a slot machine? How much? Nope Do you watch sport on TV even though you aren’t a sporty person yourself? I'll watch soccer during the World Cup or Euros, and I do enjoy several events in the Olympics. Basically I love any kind of international event where the whole world comes together Do you eat / drink at your computer? Ha, I am as we speak. I couldn't get through my shifts if I didn't have coffee.

How much do you overeat at special occasions? (Birthdays, Christmas, etc) I have more of an overdrinking problem at holidays and events, but I have been known to stuff my face too The music you listen to: Is it mostly sung by female or male vocalists? Mostly male, for no particular reason

Do you think it’s important to enjoy your job or do you just work for money? I don't know anybody in this current state of affairs who truly *likes* their job. I'm here to collect a paycheck and nothing more. Sure, there are days I don't MIND it, but for the most part I'd prefer not to be here. Do you require glasses / contacts to see properly? If so, which do you use? Reading glasses When you hear your voice back on a recording, do you think it sounds awful? GOD YES When was the last time you got the hiccups? Saturday night If you had to, which record would you go into Guinness World Records for? Most naps taken in a day The last sweet thing you ate: What was it? An oatmeal creme pie - my fave! If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? Aurora Do you have a middle name? Do you find it embarrassing? Yes and I find my middle name beautiful, nothing embarrassing about it. What would you choose to be famous for? My writing What is your current occupation? Do you enjoy it? Office assistant and nanny. I tolerate the former, absolutely LOVE the latter. Do / Did you enjoy school? Why (not)? I always functioned well in a classroom. I struggled socially sometimes though, so if there was anything I disliked about school, that would be it. If you have a webcam, are you ever paranoid people can see you? No, weirdly. I'm paranoid about plenty other stuff though. Do you find it difficult to sleep at night? Any reason(s) why? Lately I've been sleeping like total shit. I blame the depression. If you had to go on a game show, which would you choose? The person before me said Family Feud and I'm inclined to cop that answer. That would be fun! What about if you had to go on a reality show? Which would you choose then? I've often been told that my family's antics would be GREAT reality show material. I do admit we're pretty funny and that's why I document as much as I can via Snapchat. Tell me about your favourite TV show: I'd have to say Friends is my all-time favorite. And what can I say about it that you don't already know? Have you ever wished you were born the opposite gender? Why? Nah, I love being a woman If you had dental braces, which colour would you make them? I'll give you one guess Does any part of your body hurt right now? Where and why? Nothing hurts but I do have this overall feeling of discomfort. Something's off, I just don't know what. Have you ever found the jokes in Christmas crackers genuinely funny? They are silly and cheesy- my favorite kind of humor! Or should I say: my favourite kind of humour Why were you last irritated? I had to wake up and live another day... sorry to go all emo on you but it's true What time did you get up this morning? 6:35 The last city you were in: Where was it and do you like it there? The last city I was in besides my own was Buffalo. I don't see much of a difference from Rochester. Do you like the countryside? It's pretty for a drive If you see someone yawn, do you often yawn as well? Yep Do you think you’d make a good model? Would you ever want to be one? No to both How often do you change your hairstyle? What does it look like now? I hardly ever do. I know what works and I stick with it. Truth or Dare? Truth. Do you have a favourite day of the week? Which is it? Mmm I'll go with Saturdays, maybe even Sundays until the Sunday Scaries set in