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#I love my blorbo but i gotta branch out a little
miniscrew-anon · 2 years
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HSH Day 12 - “Can You Hear Me?”
This one is set in the Funeral Derangement's verse and takes place after my last little snippet on the matter. You can blame Stormy for this one since she decided to leave “also whats Shadow going to do when he realizes Four is missing” in the tags. Like excuse me ma’am but how dare you
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Shadow paces anxiously, running a hand through his hair as he swipes through Four’s phone. He’d had to charge it when he found it dead on Four’s nightstand, covered in a slightest layer of dust. His breath hitches when he finds the last update to Four’s digital journal was weeks ago. His wide eyes flicker around Fours room as if he’ll find some clue he missed the first two times he came here. There is something lost in his actions, as if Shadow suddenly found the ground had fallen out from under him. 
The back of Four’s eyes feel hot. 
Four knew, somewhere deep down, that this was coming. He’d tried to distract himself with silly pranks and playful jabs at the living but this had always loomed over him. Like a stormcloud dark enough to blot out the sun. 
Shadow starts pulling things from Fours shelves, not caring about the accumulating mess at his feet. He searches for a note, a picture, anything. His hands tremble when he finds Four’s treasured copy of “Of Minish and Men” still on his bookshelf. 
“Sorry,” Four murmurs, “But you’re not going to find me this time.”
Four walks up and presses himself to Shadow’s side when the boy sits heavily on the bed sheets, hands holding that book to his chest. Shadow shivers when Four’s form passes through him and it twists Four up inside. 
It wasn’t so long ago that Shadow was the one stealing Four’s warmth, crawling under the sheets in the middle of the night. 
Those days are over now. Four’s days are over now. And this is what's left: the trembling form of a friend who didn’t get to say goodbye. 
Like a switch has been flipped, Four feels his chest erupt in sudden, burning rage.
Four takes a deep breath to fight the sudden wave of fury. His vision goes red. The rush of anger made him shake and curl his hands into fists. He wants to hurt someone, suddenly. He wants to go to Wild's room and drag him down the stairs by his hair. He wants to throw a chair through Legend's window. He wants to tear down Warriors paintings and take the floorboards of Time’s room up. He wants to rip doors from their hinges and rip the paper off the walls. He wants to set the whole fucking house on fire. 
He wants to hurt someone. Everyone.
In a flash Four remembers Legend’s voice, echoing the words from his yellow-paged book. 
A vengeful spirit is said to be the spirit of a dead person who returns from the afterlife to seek revenge for a cruel, unnatural or unjust death. In certain cultures where funeral and burial or cremation ceremonies are important, such vengeful spirits may also be considered as unhappy ghosts of individuals who have not been given a proper funeral.
Funerals aren’t about the obituaries or the amount of tears spilt over the grave, nor about the flower arrangements or smell of burning incense. They’re not even about the spirits themselves. They’re about avoiding this; the lost look in Shadows eyes, the pain in his every action. The way he can’t move on, tied to a soul beyond his mortal reach.
It’s maddening to watch. 
Four wants to reach out and take his sleeve. Lean against his side. Tell him everything Four never managed to put into words when he was alive. 
If I say them now, will you hear them?
Four already knows the answer. He grits his teeth he can hear the enamel squeak. His hands curl into claws. For a moment, a single second, he truly considers hurting someone. 
“Four.”
A hand comes to rest on his shoulder. It squeezes gently, comfortingly. It feels solid. The only touch that feels solid these days.
The rush of hate leaves Four in a single exhale. He sags, all his energy disappearing in a flash. He closes his eyes. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Twilight sits down next to him, open concern on his face. Across the room Shadow climbs out the window, face obscured by darkness. He has a bag of Four’s most precious belongings slung over his shoulder.
Goodbye, Four can’t say to him. Four watches him go, unable to follow with his soul being tied to the house. He is left behind. His friend going off to search for him, unaware that Four was already long gone. 
Regret worms its way to the surface of Four’s mind. He should have told someone about Shadow. He should have mentioned he had someone who’d miss him if he were gone, someone who’d need to say goodbye to get any closure.  
If he had then Shadow wouldn't be left behind to chase a ghost.
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i gotta write someone other than Four next time
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thana-topsy · 9 months
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Ok I gotta come out and say it. I envy you. Like, to a painful extent. The amount of people you get interested in your characters, how you're incredibly skilled in both visual art AND writing, how readers your fics have. I absolutely adore your work, but seeing it fills me with so much envy it's honestly ridiculous.
Did you deal with similar feelings towards other creators when you started writing fic by any chance? If so, how did you deal with those feelings? I feel genuinely stuck feeling worthless about my fics. I'm not as verbose with my language despite over 10 years of writing under my belt and it seems as though my plots don't interest people as much either. So I feel like there's just nothing of worth about any of my work.
I know that this is a lot to dump on you, but I felt like I would burst keeping this all in. Much love to you and I hope you have a wonderful New Year!
Hey there my friend, I've been sitting with this all day trying to decide how I want to answer you. I genuinely appreciate your honesty, because I know this is a familiar feeling for a lot of people, myself included.
I remember when I first rejoined Tumblr in early 2019, desperately trying to find anyone to talk to about TES, I would look at all these blogs gettings asks about their OCs like they were little celebrities and feel envy and longing. Now, when these feelings start to bubble up, I force myself to take a break from sharing my work, be it art or writing, if only to remind myself why I'm creating it and who I'm creating it for: myself. I know it sounds cheesy, and I probably sound like a broken record, but genuinely I just do this because it's bursting out of my skull. But I won't lie and say the engagement and the support doesn't have a big impact on my motivation. I love sharing with people and getting an enthusiastic response.
I think something people might not realize, or maybe they just forget, is that I used to write a lot of smut. Like...a lot of smut. (I still do). Hahaha and it doesn't get a lot of comments or engagement, but it does draw a lot of eyes. Once my smut stories started taking on heavier plotlines, a comment I'd get a lot was "came for the porn, stayed for the plot." And I wasn't writing smut because I thought it would get me an audience, I was just horny LMAO. But it encouraged me to branch out and experiment with the types of stories I was telling.
Anyways, art is another big part of it, yes. But that also didn't get a lot of engagement in the beginning, and my skills were rusty as hell. I was getting maybe 15 notes on here, 30 likes on instagram. But that didn't really matter to me, I was just insane with inspiration. I'd reach out to people and ask to do art trades, got ghosted a lot, made some good friends, (some people who are still my good friends to this day!). But it took a lot of risks, and I made a lot of accidental enemies and learned a lot of hard lessons. But having visuals to go with the stories I'm writing is like advertisement in its own way. I'm just lucky enough to hyperfixate on this shit like it's my lifeblood. I've always obsessively drawn my favorite characters, ever since I was a wee bab. Long before social media was a factor or the words "content creator" even existed.
And I think that's what it all comes back to. Above all else, do what you do with unbridled joy. If someone else finds joy alongside you, all the better! Even if it's just one person. Take risks, make friends, make enemies, draw that blorbo unapologetically and with wild abandon. Love what you create, even when it's bad. Even when it makes you cringe years later, don't delete it. Even when people try to find every reason to hate what you do and who you are. Don't stop.
Every act of creation is bringing something into the world that didn't exist before you made it. And that alone gives it worth.
Happy New Year!
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least-carpet · 1 year
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Zhanchengxian or sangcheng for the ship meme?
Why not both, anon! (Also, very sorry this took so long, I'm just real slow!)
Zhanchengxian: Ship it!
What made you ship it?
I love chengxian and I'm not opposed to wangxian, so it started off as, like, sure, why not! Wei Wuxian has two hands! We can bring all the unresolved business and tension of chengxian into wangxian and see if something interesting happens!
Then I got the zhancheng brainrot real bad, so. That was that.
What are your favourite things about the ship?
I like it for a lot of the same reasons I like chengxian, namely that it pushes on Wei Wuxian's and Lan Wangji's weaknesses in an interesting way. Wei Wuxian because Jiang Cheng is a reminder of all of the suffering of his past life that he wants to escape; and Lan Wangji because he's projected a lot of his own guilt at not intervening in Wei Wuxian's first life onto Jiang Cheng. I think, for a long time, Lan Wangji has had very simple, black-and-white opinions about Jiang Cheng, which are reinforced by how partial he is to Wei Wuxian, and additionally driven by jealousy at their prior intimacy. But it's much harder to maintain these ideas about someone up close, rather than afar with minimal contact. Basically, I love it when people are forced to actually perceive Jiang Cheng as, like, a real person who was seriously damaged by his terrible life, and who has triumphed over odds that someone like Lan Wangji, beloved second son of his alive family, has never had to confront.
Also love the ways in which this triad has the potential to illuminate the people and relationships within it! Lan Wangji can see Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng more clearly in the context of their relationship to each other; I think it's a relationship where Wei Wuxian's worse qualities are often evident. (This is not a backhanded compliment! Intimacy is sometimes seeing someone you love be kind of a dink! Perceive him!) Lan Wangji, meanwhile, might be a stabilizing force for chengxian; if he can help Wei Wuxian regulate himself, Wei Wuxian might actually be able to show up and be vulnerable. I don't know if Wei Wuxian would get anything out of zhancheng except horniness, but I bet he'd have fun.
Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?
Wei Wuxian has a lot of work to do within the chengxian branch of the relationship, and Lan Wangji shielding him from that work sucks and is bad for everybody. Also, the evolution into zhanchengxian should transform and develop wangxian (for example, through insight into Wei Wuxian's childhood dynamic with Jiang Cheng, the revelation that Wei Wuxian left the Jiang rather than being expelled, etc.) not just be wangxian with Jiang Cheng grafted on.
Sangcheng: Ship it!
What made you ship it?
Sangcheng was actually my gateway MDZS ship, and Nie Huaisang was my gateway blorbo. Although the Jiang Cheng brainrot has firmly set it, I'm still very fond of Nie Huaisang.
Also, their shenanigans in the Cloud Recesses were very charming. Let them get a little silly and explore each others' bodies!!
What are your favourite things about the ship?
There are a lot of potential sangcheng flavours! Cloud Recesses-era sangcheng is markedly different from post-canon sangcheng. They both got a lot worse, for starters.
Sometimes it's nice to give Jiang Cheng a partner who has some separation from Wei Wuxian. I love him in the Wei Wuxian Suffering Vortex, but really the healthiest choice is for Jiang Cheng to have at least one relationship with someone who is just into him on his own merits. He has them!! It's not impossible!!
Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?
I'll accept a range of Nie Huaisangs, since he is such a puzzlebox of a character, but you gotta give the guy some depth. Like, he did a multi-year revenge scheme and stabbed himself in the leg to accomplish it. He's not a simple or shallow guy.
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PROJECT DAYDREAM
HELLO. YOU ARE INVITED TO JOIN A ROLEPLAY PROJECT BY THE NAME OF PROJECT DAYDREAM.
PROJECT DAYDREAM WILL BE A RECREATION OF THE ICONIC STORYLINE OF THE DREAM SMP, WITH YOUR OWN CHARACTER HAVING THE PROSPECT OF TAKING THE PLACE OF A CHARACTER FROM THE ORIGINAL STORY.
FOR MORE INFORMATION, DM ME [Spore] ABOUT ROLES.
I WILL BE UPDATING ROLES AS THEY ARE TAKEN BELOW AND THE CONFIRMATIONS WILL BE IN THE WEEK BETWEEN OCTOBER 1ST AND 7TH.
REQUIREMENTS:
You will commit to your role. Once you tell me what role you want there is a very little chance I’ll change it so you better be happy with your choice.
A general knowledge of the role you’re playing. If you’re playing Wilbur or Ranboo’s character, you should know that you’d be playing their ghost version and revived version if they get revived; if you’re playing Fundy you may want to make yourself familiar with his cannon nightmares.
A light attitude! This whole rp thing is supposed to be fun, and if somebody is doing anything that makes you uncomfortable or threatening you, come to me immediately.
GENERAL OVERVIEW:
We will be ideally going through the entire DSMP storyline, from the start to end. You’re welcome to change plot lines to create an alternate timeline, but it is crucial to communicate that with everybody (especially me) to ensure that everybody is on board with it. This is a great time to fuse your character making and playing abilities with your knowledge of your blorbo!
To word it a bit better, you’re creating an original character who will take the role of a specific DSMP character.
Let’s say I create this character called Elle Woods (i’m a basic bitch okay), and she’s in the role of Jack. She’s gonna go through his part of the story and essentially fill in all his role. She’ll be a part of all of Jack’s arcs, and I’d play her out. She doesn’t have to do everything by book, but that’s specified above. Also, your character doesn’t have to be exactly like the original role’s character by any means. Certain things that are species specific such as the enderwalk can be either adapted to your character or even taken out or substituted (I have my limits, but you gotta talk to me before we both know them).
When is the last time to register?
OCTOBER 1st
The rp will be starting on the 7th of October, and I will be letting you guys know your roles in that week, giving you a week to prepare. Use it.
EXTRA INFORMATION:
You need to make a new blog for this
All the role playing will be happening here on Tumblr, and you’ll be doing reblog chains
There is no Discord bc I don’t have it and idk if my parents are cool with me getting it (strict parents amirite), but if you wanna make a server that’s cool with me but please check with me beforehand seeing as I am kinda modding for it
This is open for everybody, no matter the rp experience! I’ve been in a few rps myself (though this is my first time running one), and I’d love to see some people branch out their horizons! It’s all about good fun
You’re welcome to play multiple characters if you’re willing to dedicate to it! Just DM me about it like everything else :D
In no way am I or this project associated with Dream, the actual Dream SMP, or any of the ccs involved. I am just a fan with an itch to rp and to watch ppl rp.
I am not planning on involving Tales From The SMP, but if the person playing Karl’s role or anybody else would like to organize it separately from the main project then be my guest
Oh yeah this ain’t gonna be clean by any means lmaoooooooo (if you really wanna pull a sex scene i’m not against it just please tell everybody that ur gonna do it for our collective sanity)
As a second to the thingy above, if you REALLY wanna play out a sex scene, it is highly advised you keep it to the DMs unless it’s agreed on that it’s…central to the plot ig…if everybody who’s on board with the project in the end doesn’t mind it, then cool, but please check with everybody. Better safe than sorry.
“Spore how tf do we communicate without a discord-“ if you really need to talk to everybody at once, make a post and tag everybody in it
If you have any specific needs or concerns (sex repulsed, trauma from certain topics, etc) please communicate that with me so that we can create a fun roleplay experience for everyone. We can get into technicalities when you DM me about it, but I will likely share it as an announcement to the entire group.
(@mean-gills @championofapollo @jinxneedssleep @apricityxys @medlabmech i’m just tagging y’all for signal boost and sign up bc nobody seems interested and i’m sad)
ROLES THAT ARE TAKEN (this will be updated as more people receive roles, and I’ll be linking their urls so if you wanna wrestle your blorbo outta their hands I don’t have to be the messenger. be nice kids):
Phil - me
Charlie - me
Sam - me
Techno - @apricityxys
Tommy - @mean-gills
Ranboo - @mean-gills
Wilbur - @championofapollo
Dream - @chocolate-milk
Niki - @azurecake16
Quackity - @azurecake16
Tubbo - @epicaxolotls
Eret - @x-ca1iber
Schlatt - @epicaxolotls
BBH - @chocolate-milk
Fundy - @chocolate-milk
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desultory-novice · 1 year
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I just gotta ask... Does Dreamland have a licensed therapist? Because it sounds like a majority of the characters need one!
Dream Land is a really LOVELY place. The food is fresh and healthy for you. Even the fast food and the sweets, somehow! Lots of nature. Life is leisurely paced. The only jobs are the ones you want to work. There's plenty of activities for those who need some socializing and plenty of alone time for those who need their space.
There may not be a licensed therapist, but as long as you're open to your heart and the caring words of your friends, you can find your way out of the bad places on your own, in your own good time!
...In Dess's AUs, on the other hand...
Everything is bad. For everyone. I'm sorry. I feel very bad about it. :cough: ...That is, speaking frankly, as a creator, I trust that since everyone else does such a good job writing Kirby-verse fluff, no one will mind too bad if I have this little corner of the fandom where everyone can be sad and sometimes life does beat you down.
Now...
It probably doesn't come off this way, but sometimes the reason I hop back and forth to several different AUs is that in a few cases, characters DO get better! Marx and Magolor in the Branch AU? They're actually very happy right now running a theme park together for lost Souls! (Well, happier once Marx gets his body back.)
White-Haired Noir in the AU AU verse? He's...well, he's never going to be the same after the loss he suffered, but he is on the mend.
Adeleine, post-Apologies, is doing okay.
My personal Dark Meta Knight is a huge, incurable mess of issues but he gets to duel with his counterpart on occasion and loves it.
Some of my versions of the characters have REALLY awful, messed up traumatic backstories and yet they came out shockingly alright, re: Daroach. (And Elfilin too. Rats stay winning!)
I do enjoy fluffy things, a lot, but I don't write a whole lot of "pure fluff." Which arguably means, if you're not seeing me draw or write anything for someone, they're probably having a GREAT time! Take Taranza. Taranza is often characterized as the forever sad, "I miss my wife, Tails" character but I think he really is doing okay!
...Not great as could be. He lost his friend (and crush) of...some long period of time but he's healing. Dedede's probably got a whole routine set up for getting over possession trauma at this point!!
For my two favorite trauma puppy standbys, Marx and Magolor, I mostly write about them having lingering trauma side-effects because... it's just my favorite sub-genre to write in, I guess? Most of what I write are physical impossibilities anyway: curses, magic-induced ailments, body-snatching, etc. But I think they can be interesting metaphors for what I or others might feel in RL, so I like to write about them as a way to come to terms with those feelings.
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[Warning: Things Get Personal Past This Point]
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I almost went more indepth about this in an earlier ask this evening, but my favorite character from my last major fandom was a purely good character who, in the backstory, had his personality shifted 180 degrees by an evil god, driven to cuckoo levels of crazy, and possibly (at least, it was a fairly popular HC) trapped inside his own mind for a large chunk of time as he was made to commit atrocities that shattered every vow he ever made and everything he believed in.
(Mad Emperor Vector, my beloved... :sob: )
An anime backstory if I'd ever heard one! But one of the reasons he rose from character I loved to MY blorbo was because I was just understanding my autism at the time, and part of how I understood it for myself and how it affected me was through this character's traumas. You might think it was silly but it was shockingly useful!
Around when I started suffering from long-term insomnia is when I started to get really, really obsessed with the "Marx is a sleep-deprived Noddy" theory. When (not to get depressing but...) many of my dreams and aspirations started to fall apart, I became really attached to Magolor + the false promises of the Master Crown...
Noir's creation coincides fairly closely with my feeling massively overburdened with life's pressures and trying to support my loved ones, keeping a chipper exterior attitude despite home troubles while feeling like I couldn't tell ANYONE how much it hurt inside...
That's not to say that I only make these sweet characters have bad days because I'M having a bad day or that I'm "using" them like emotion sponges in place of just seeing a therapist.
It's more that, having experienced some of these things myself, I feel like I have a closer understanding of them. And I want to understand more. Or I want to explore avenues I didn't personally take.
...Or I want to celebrate my own life, shambles and all, by seeing how much worse it could be if only E~vil~ Magic had been involved...!!
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TLDR, the actual Kirby characters probably don't need a therapist at all. Dess's versions are more likely to need one, but I'll probably write about the ones that haven't gone yet because that path is where I personally find the best and most meaningful stories...!
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