#I love my stupid blog and all the friends ive made (new and old) and my tiny 201 follower count

[sassyandclassy94]

Now that I changed my profile picture to Don I don’t recognize my own blog🥴 it’s been SwanFire for SIX years….

[jinchuls-moved]

hi, important lil note

pseud change, jinx -> echo

you don’t have to read but there’s a not so thought out ramble of all the thoughts in my head rn under the cut. i feel like ive been tricking people and i want to explain myself

okay so, i moved blogs when i was in a very negative space. i only stayed away for about a month, i missed tumblr and i missed writing even if it took me a hot minute to feel good enough to even be semi active on here.

tumblr can fucking suck. i left because there was drama with a few people that left me a mess honestly, those people have since been blocked and i started to feel a little bit better. i also noticed a number of people breaking mutual with me, which i completely understand curate your space as you need i’ve done it a few times myself, but the amount of people that did in a short time (as far as i noticed) gave me a terrible feeling and i needed to leave. i felt unwelcome and like i had done something wrong to people i had only interacted with a few times. this was on top of a lot of stuff i had going on irl, i felt so fucking alone in every aspect on my life regardless of my friends that made it so obvious they were there for me. i hated how i was at the time, and i appreciate every single person that stuck by me.

so i made this blog for a fresh start. i thought a new pseud and a new blog would make me feel better. and it did, for a while. my friends knew and they listened to my request to change tags, not refer to me as any previous nicknames and essentially not make it too obvious it was me. although i don’t think it was entirely impossible to tell. but now i miss all those things, i miss being stupid with my friends, i miss getting to call my best friend my wife on dash, i miss getting to miss astrology aims and mother nesi nesi, i miss the mutuals i used to have that i didn’t tell about the move because i was scared they were going to think i was stupid. i miss the url i kept going back to bc i loved it (possibly the most silly reason but still ukaishin holds a special place in my heart)

and it just doesn’t feel right. everyone has been so nice to me so far and it feels wrong knowing that wasn’t how echo ended, it makes me wonder what was wrong with me then that wasn’t now? but reality is, it’s nothing. shit happens, i needed time to get over a lot of things and it took time. even quite recently i had a terrible evening because of an old mutual. as in i had a mental breakdown because they added one stupid word to an ask that made me feel pathetic for sitting there the night before crying about how much i was missing them to aims.

getting called jinx in dms throws me off, i appreciate those that knew me first as echo using the new pseud, but it never took. it was never a name i was happy with (except for the first couple weeks on this blog) and im sorry for any confusion and having to switch pseuds again. i just don’t want to move blogs, i don’t want to have a whole thing i just want tumblr to be the happy place it was for me for almost 2 years. it got me through uni, being on here with the friends i’d made, i spend my final year of school in a constant mental breakdown, crying on the phone to my mum almost everyday and it was kaze that kept me going, motivating me to get my degree. it was kaze that flew to england to meet me and attend my graduation. it was aims that was the first person to reach out to me and give me the type of friendship i needed. it was everyone in our silly delululand server that made me laugh and reminded me that no matter how shit people were there were good ones. and it’s the good that’s made me feel better. and the good that makes me want to try one more time to maintain that happy place i had 2 years ago

that got too sappy but i refuse to edit <3

[neonlitlesbians]

do you have a masterpost or some key posts that help explain the setting/worldbuilding or context for your ocs? or intro posts to learn about them?

oh shit oh shit oh shittttt ok i really need to organize a little better around here BUT i have a little bit i can offer right now! (ive been meaning to make intro posts for my ocs, thank you for the reminder—i will try to get on that soon!)

(LOTS under the cut you have no idea how much i have to say!! thank you SO much for this ask)

The World

Alana and her friends live in a huge, dying cyberpunk city.

Nine years ago, the algorithm governing the city decided that infinite capitalistic growth was no longer sustainable, and went into power saving mode. Those who hid, survived; the vast majority of the city's inhabitants were given a choice between dying and going into stasis. The remaining inhabitants have come to refer to this event as the Crash.

It's not like they could just leave—The Old Internet is chewed up and defunct, existing only in archives; the remains of GPS satellites have long since crashed to earth; and it's not like an old map would be much good, since a city in what was once barren Nevada is now... on the coast.

Understandably, the ones surviving today are still traumatized, as well as lost and more than a little bored.

(The city's name hasn't been established yet—i might just call it The City but i'm not sure yet.)

Characters

Each of these characters is diligently tagged on my blog, so you can search through all of my art that features them!

Alana/The Watcher (she/her) – One of the most capable fighters in town. Angry and quiet, but deeply caring. Died and was brought back to life by Ethlyn, now running on both red and black blood. Literature nerd and occasional writer. Zinnia's lover, Ethlyn's best friend, and Hostility's dueling partner.

Electra (any) – Alana's childhood best friend, returned after a nine-year absence. Can suck the charge out of electronics, store it, and release it. Incredibly strong, and one of the two people who can evenly duel Alana (Hostility being the other). Protective and confident.

Zinnia (she/her) – A workaholic journalist who was nearly killed by a structural collapse. Saved by Alana and given a new body by Ethlyn, she now tails Alana with a camera and documents the ruined city in photo form (not like there's much to write articles about). Quiet and serious, tending to come off as rather cold. Alana's lover.

Ethlyn Calloway (she/her) – A genius engineer, especially in the field of cybernetics, and kind of a horndog. Made most of her friends' augments and then some. Extremely hyperactive, chronically short of sleep, and prone to mood swings. The cast's leading historian on the old, defunct Internet. Bell's girlfriend and Alana's savior.

Bell Anderson (he/she) – An incredibly skilled medical doctor and surgeon. Helps Ethlyn with installing cybernetics, and was critical to Alana and Zinnia's survival. Also a highly capable chef (a good thing, too—Ethlyn would survive on nuggies alone without him). Amiable, generous, and open. Ethlyn's lover and caretaker, but gets along well with just about anyone.

Hostility (she/her) – A capable engineer and swordsmith. Made all of her own augments, as well as Nico's and some of Darcy's. Makes and maintains Alana's weaponry as well as many others'. Built an entire car out of scraps from the junkyard that she melted down and reforged. Wise and laid-back. Crowe's girlfriend, Alana's friend, and one of Rat's closer friends.

Rat Manchu (she/it) – An informant. The "word on the street." Shrewd, greasy, and much smarter than she looks. Kind of an asshole and hard to get along with, but ultimately means well. (Usually.) Also has a car (but Nico usually takes the keys before she can do anything stupid). Gay and in love with Nico and Darcy.

Nico Lombard (they/them) – A former cop and current encrypted-data-vault-slash-blank-slate. Jailbroken thanks to Hostility and Darcy, and now lives with Darcy and Rat. Still figuring themself out. Gay and in love with Darcy and Rat.

Darcy Relayer (shx/hxr) – A 1337 H4XX0R with some of the juiciest databases on the network at hxr (many) fingertips. A little bit insane. Just as hyperactive as Ethlyn, but more data-driven. Prone to using goofy slang terms from bygone eras. Gay and in love with Rat and Nico.

The Guitarist (she/her) – A traveler from abroad who plays at the Z-Axis, though sometimes you can hear her music on the wind at the edge of town. Blind and mute, relying mainly on her guitar to communicate. Doesn't really have any strong ties to anyone, past or present. Mysterious, but easy to get along with.

Crowe Stormwell (she/they) – A dancer and prostitute at the Z-Axis bar. Ethlyn's favorite test subject to try new types and models of cybernetics on. Whimsical and sensual. Hostility's girlfriend.

Aly (they/she) – [WIP] The bartender at the Z-Axis. The cast's only fully fledged android. Happy-go-lucky. Narcoleptic due to a faulty power source. Crowe's roommate, when they don't just pass out at the bar.

Lizzy (xe/xer) – A reclusive tailor, printer, hairstylist, and artist responsible for a lot of the group's clothing, especially the quality stuff like Alana's outfits and Bell's lab coat. Capable of restoring physical media like books, as well as giving tattoos.

The Keeper (she/her) – The sole occupant of the lighthouse at the edge of town. A little cagey, but ventures into town now and again. Farms her own food, and trades with the rest of the cast on occasion.

[aetherknit]

hi nobu -- first off i want to say that this feels like such a massive understatement but THANK you. this honestly made me tear up. i think we are all hurting for kindness a bit right now and something so unprovoked and heartfelt made my entire week so much brighter. you are the only anon i have who still signs off, and in a way, you are a familiar face to me too ❤️🫂 thank you for your kindness, always.

i also want to echo your sentiments about the creativity in this fandom; i have had far more articulate friends talk about how unique this fandom was in its ability to self-sustain -- every day i saw artists and writers creating, i was inspired soo often (even when i didnt have the energy to follow through) despite a lack of content. although it hurts a lot (A. LOT. sorry to everyone thats heard me cry about this since it started) that things ended the way they did, what i loved most about this place was always and always will be the community.

i have never had such an amazing opportunity to connect with other artists, other writers, to collaborate -- i have grown a crazy amount because of every person on dtblr (especially the ones who supported me when my art was um... Well). i literally could not begin to list every person who has changed my life here, but in some ways, i feel like i can; this place has always felt close-knit and uplifting in a way no other fandom has to me, and im so grateful so many disbanded dtblr blogs left breadcrumbs to their new ventures. even though we may disconnect and fade away from each other over time, what we've had is so bright and irreplaceable -- i can't even pretend to regret my time here :) even beyond a creativity standpoint, posting here and talking to everyone was always a blast. one of the things that made me bawl in those first few days was thinking about losing all the silly inside jokes we had -- in some stupid ways, i feel like its graduation and dtblr is my homeroom class 😭

i am so so touched to hear about the fic, even if you never show me or never finish. it sounds corny but every single piece of writing or art i inspired is deeply meaningful to me. they represent the best part of being here, and ive looked back on fics dedicated to me or even my old DTIYS more than anyone could ever know. maybe someday youll be able to convert it into something new and share it anyway :) i would love to read it

i have given so much of myself to this fandom over the last 2 years (almost exactly, haha! i watched my first drm video on my birthday), and i have always been treated with overwhelming kindness. thank you for being part of what made everything so special 💗💗💗 much much love

[two4000yroldtortoises]

time machine meet-up : a lurkers pov (lolzies)

here's a long one lads:

i got into dan and phil in june of 2019. in fact i watched dans coming out video just a few days after moving 5000 miles away from where i grew up. phil's video came out literally 9 days after we arrived at the new house. i rushed into the living room to happily cry to my poor mother about how stoked i was. at the time, we were still sleeping on air mattresses, eating in an empty kitchen using plastic plates and camping chairs. i was 13. queer, adhd riddled, anxious and desperately lonely. dan and phil were the first friends i made in my new home.

while they were on hiatus i caught up. i followed their tags on instagram and spent that first summer scrolling endlessly, filling the hole where friends used to be with old videos and compilations and fanart and fan fiction.

i went to my first pride in my new home with cat whiskers delicately drawn on my face. i hoped it would give me community. id be able to find my people at that march. i didn't. i found them later, but that's a whole other story.

in the last 4-ish years i've become a totally different person. i'm more confident, more open with others and myself, im queerer and weirder and more happy than i have been since i gained consciousness. ive come into myself in so many ways. and now that dan and phil are back, i see the changes in myself reflected in them and it's so, so healing. they're so much funnier, so much kinder, so much gayer and weirder and hornier and louder and so deeply and beautifully and unapologetically themselves.

i love you dan and phil, even though I've never said it. just quietly parasocial, too scared to comment or start a blog or twitter. i'm one of those silent watchers dan talked about in "why i quit youtube", being saved and healed and helped and supported without making a sound. so thanks for that, lads.

and i love you phannies (despite your stupid, stupid fandom name), i love the acceptance and weirdness and queerness and loudness and confident cringyness of this community. i love the home you've built for freaks and geeks on this circle of hell we call the internet. so thank you for that.

i probably won't ever post anyth on this blog again, i just wanted to put it out there how dnp have helped us too, the ones too scared to make friends in the phandom. thank you all for creating a place we can go to anyway, even if we never really interact. thank you for being so unapologetic and so weird. thank you for being so gay and so loud.

here's to many more years of being old, gay, and giving no fucks.

me: 2019 -> 2024

[sedat3dfawn]

It is so fucking strange to look back on this blog and see all the fun i had for so long thanks to a shitty web series and a bunch of online friends that i will probably never meet or never talk to again

Some friends ive made on here i truly think will stay in my life for the rest of it (at least i hope so). But it almost makes me sad at how nostalgic this stupid website makes me feel when i just look at how we all constantly ran around like children at a sleep over- just creating and having fun and laughing.

Maybe its that ive really dealt with a lot of lonely feelings lately and seeing that i used to be someone people were nervous to talk to and wanted to be my friend from afar is crazy and i almost hope people still feel that way sometimes.

I feel like i still dream of some of you and just dont even realize it cause of my brain just retaining your faces and never fully letting go even if i cant remember our conversations anymore. I truly hope i cross paths with all of my friends, old and new, again in the future.

And even if we dont talk anymore i genuinely mean it when i say you can always come home and we can always try again. I love you, ive loved you, i will love you.

[yabai-erasure]

march 2023 listening

been a minute but idk dude, when new music hits it hits and when it doesn't we just put on old bangers and keep it movin. here's what i've been listening to anyway

little simz no thank you im just kind of obsessed with the bigg art collectrrr silent investrrr film directrrr part on gorilla

skrillex quest for fire im a millennial ok so when skrill released an album for the first time in almost 10 years it was appointment listening for the laffs if nothing else. i mean, skrillex is good at what he does: he combines all the current production trends into something fun to listen to. quest for fire was a fun listen! i wont apologize! i like too bizarre (juked) because i love a glitchy repetitive little earworm. don't get too close was thoroughly unnecessary though.

got the beat stamp on it dont come for me, i got stockholm syndrome'd while learning the choreography

red velvet reve festival 2022 i didnt think this mini had staying power but for me 'oops we are on a ride' has become a cute younger sibling to 'fuck it we ball' whenever anything unexpected happens

zella day sunday in heaven i liked this album well enough when it came out but mushroom punch has become a top tier dishwashing karaoke track in my house

fka twigs caprisongs still 2022 aoty im not letting this one go. fuck crying over these stupid boys jobs that dont even recognize the worff in themselves, just trying to steal your youff! byye byeeeee

xg shooting star ugh i should have written a whole post about this when it came out but top to bottom im just in love with shooting star and left right. WHO is doing their styling and concept work, they are nailing it. i gushed about the styling in this comeback on my main blog so much that you're getting the dregs here but EVERY outfit in this era is fire -- it made me want to go find some 2000s frosted eyeshadow palettes fuck!! this laid-back r&b sound works for them so well i need xg world domination yesterday

soutaiseiriron tensei jingle a friend and i were swapping jpop playlists recently, tensei jingle & town age have nestled so well into my spring listening

ive kitsch i dont care if it was clearly supposed to be 90s bitch before starship bought the track!! i dont care if the rap is abysmal!! i dont speak korean i dont care if its cringey!! listen to that little cuckoo clock sample, its silly!! justice for liz tho

2023 kpop comebacks are about to hit their stride in the coming months so im hoping to have some delicious treats soon

[articsmiths]

Day 1

Hello, my name is ArticSmith, well it's not really that would be a bit odd. I also googled how to start a blog for about an hour and i just decided to be lazy and just use Tumblr cus i dont have to download or pay for anything. I've decided to come out of my shell? idk i just want to talk about my life without the odds of my friends thinking I'm some arse who hates everyone including the people the love the most.

About my day,

I start every day fresh at 5:10 in the morning even tho i don't have to be out the house by 8. Why do i do this? i don't know. i just like to lay in bed when its dark and stare at my phone for an hour scrolling through TikTok to make me feel like im in a good sate of head. After at 6 i get my dodgy looking uniform that hasn't been washed in a week. It stinks. but we live in a time where we can't wash clothes as Offen cus it costs to much. its your average secondary school outfit jumper, tie, button up shirt, trousers to make us feel like we are all equal but not even the teachers treat us like we are. Then i go back to lying in bed.7 i finally get back up and do my hair, I swear it has so much heat damage as ive been curling the front bits with my hair dryer for over a year. It never looks perfect until the day before i get a haircut so i end up looking like lord Farquaad. I wouldn't mind being dumb or mean or a nitty as long as my hair looked nice everyday i would be so happy. I don't wear makeup cus my friends tell me not too, i don't know why it is? cus im just not old enough but they have all been wearing it since 10. I think its cus im such a “tomboy” i just can't be girly ever. Guess im stuck as a little boy for fucking ever. After half an hour of disappointment i give up with my hair it just never looks right. Around half 7 i have nothing to do i hate breakfast so i don't have to eat so i decided to finish my schoolbook that I've had since my birthday but i just couldn't finish. It ended great i finished it. It was solitaire by Alice Osmond If anyone sees this and wants to know that i can read?8 i leave the house with a aching neck and a new book in my bag also by alice (radio silence), i take the very short walk to the reason of my deppresion as i live quite neer my school. i walk through hells gates to see my friends sat on our table. I can see them but i just ignore them and head straight to the toilet. Its like a gamble when i go into them in the mornings, its either empty so i can fix my hair or full of chavs so i run to the disabled loos as im not cis gender so i can use them. Its just a pull as they have a bigger mirror so i can see if i look ok.I ’m not popular, me and my friends get made fun of daily and get called emos . we arnt even emo. we are all girls but one and have short hair so that makes us emo. I deal with the average year 7 calling me a slur and telling me to kill myself while talking to my friends before form.  By this point im ready to throw myself off a building. I hate school i have very low attendance cus i just dont like to go in. Im not behind im quite smart i know what im doing in lessons, I just hate being there. I'd be home schooled if i could. My lessons go by very quick as they ar so boring. I dont talk alot in them as im not some big gobbed twat who shouts at the teachers to suck their mums cus they told them to move seats.Im in drama at school and we are doing a musical about Oliver twist. and as today is thurday i had rehearsals. Singing and dancing like a twat is what im good at cus i act all day long like i want to be there so its fun. the teachers like me so im all good. i get home and flop onto bed after drinking an energy drink. they just dont work anymore idk why. i make my own tea cus my mum isnt home and watch tv and just look dead. Then i got the idea “HEY LETS MAKE A BLOG” i downloaded all these stupid websites and got stressed and then went “wait i have a Tumblr that i havnt ouched since 2021 omg lets just use that” and here we are Ive been typing for 2 hours for nobody even to see this idk i just think ill get better at telling you readers about myself soon

i hope the people who see this stay and enjoy my blogs about a shitty life of a teen in the uk who doesn't do anything but lay in bed and complain and have to spell and grammar check there hole rant cus they spell like a 3 year old lol.

sighing out ArticSmith

[jackie-shitposts]

I Thought Thieves Love Jules!

Carmen strolled out of the elevator, feeling pretty beat after her workout with Shadowsan. Not that she would ever admit that- she had wanted to keep going, but it had only been two days since she got electrocuted in Egypt, so Shadowsan made her cut her workout short while he continued. Carmen sauntered over to the counter, taking a long drink from her water bottle, just as Player’s image appeared on her laptop screen. “Check it out, Red. Julia just posted a new entry on her blog, about a recent find in Columbia.” Player said, ”But it totally digresses into fun facts about fair trade coffee, including a “Red Blend.” Carmen leaned onto the counter. “Could be another riddle to solve?” “Good thing I learned a thing or two about code-breaking from Julia.” Player smirked, clearly excited to show off his new skills. “Every paragraph ends with a number. If you line ‘em up like they're a date and time, it’s tomorrow at 8am.” “Seems Chief wants an opportunity to thank me over coffee.” Carmen quirked an eyebrow. Seems as though she’d be seeing her favorite agent-turned-historian-turned-agent-again in the field, per Chief’s request. “How can you be sure it’s not a trap?” Player asked apprehensively. “If it were, Jules would’ve worded it differently.”

“OoOoO, are we talking about Jules?” Zack asked, peeking his head out from the doorway.

“That ACME gal Carm has a crush on?” Ivy chimed in, peeking her own head out from under her brother.

Carmen rolled her eyes at the sibling’s cartoonish antics. “Jules and I are just friends, you two.”

Ivy scoffed, entering the room and flopping onto the couch.  “Yeah right- then why did you specifically go to her when you needed help decoding the relics?”

Carmen casually took a sip of her water before answering.  “Jules was already familiar with VILE- getting a stranger involved would’ve only made things more complicated and dangerous than it already was.” Zack hopped onto the couch opposite of Ivy, resting his feet up on her knees. He pointedly ignored Ivy’s protests of, “Zack, gross!” and smirked at Carmen. “Oh? Then why did you ask Devineaux where she was in Louisiana?” “Hey, you never told me about that one!” Ivy gasped, feigning betrayal. “I was just surprised ACME let that driving disaster use a car,” Carmen quipped. Player laughed on his side of the screen. “Don’t act like you’re any better, Red. Don’t you remember your first caper?”

Carmen gasped, pretending to be insulted. “Says the 17 year old without a learners permit.”

“Not like I have anywhere to go.” Player laughed, before refocusing on Carmen’s interrogation. “Speaking of firsts, how about when you first met Julia? I listened in, and it totally sounded like you were flirting with her. You called her “Jules” on your first meeting!” Carmen narrowed her eyes at Player in defiance.  “I was just sitting across from Jules so I could blend in while keeping an eye on Paper Star. And what’s wrong with nicknames? I called Crackle “Gray” and Ivy “Ives”. I don’t see what the difference is.” “The difference is that you and Cracker used to be best friends, and now we are best friends. However, you and Jules were not friends at the time.” Ivy said, emphasizing the nickname. “His name is Crackle now.” “He went and rejoined VILE, I think I get to call Gary whatever I want.” Player chimed back into the conversation. “Why did you leave the Magna Cartas with Julia, anyway? You had one conversation with her, what made you think leaving them with her meant they were in “good hands?” “While sitting next to her, I noticed Devineaux’s briefcase, and she said they were travel partners on business. I figured that meant they were law enforcement also trying to recover the documents. Leaving them with Jules simply saved me the hassle of returning the documents myself.” Carmen explained casually. “What about the fashion show in Milan, Carm? Why’d you have Julia help us then?” Zack asked, a shit-eating grin plastered onto his face. Carmen sighed in annoyance. Why won’t they just get off her back about this already? “Jules was the only ACME agent around, and I knew that ACME would be able to get the gowns to safety. And before you ask,” Carmen pointed at Ivy, whose mouth was already open with some smug retort, “I put her in charge instead of you because she would know where the gowns could be put for ACME to return.” At that, Ivy simply leaned back onto the couch and mirrored her brother’s smug grin.  “Yeah, that was a fun night.” She smirked, and Zack tried to hold back his laugh that came out as more of a snort. Carmen raised her brow at the untold story, but she decided not to press. For the sake of her sanity.

“Well, what about Stockholm?” Zack blurted. Ivy and Player’s eyes snapped to Carmen, looking for any hint of discomfort, and Zack immediately tried to rectify the situation. “I-I mean, yknow, you just were gonna go try to get her help before-”

Carmen cut off his anxious rambling, smiling warmly. “Don’t worry about it Zack, I know what you mean. I wanted to talk to Jules to see if she could get ACME to back off. While that obviously didn’t happen, I know Jules didn’t try to betray me.” Carmen glanced out the window for a moment, whispering quietly to herself. “I don’t think I could be angry at her if I tried.” Carmen turned back to her friends and smiled. “Plus, she helped me out in Monaco and Ile De L'oleron afterwards, so-” Player practically leapt up from his chair, causing a loud crash as he knocked the fidget spinners off his desk and dropped the rubix cute he was playing with. “Yeah, let's talk about Monaco! You can’t tell me you guys weren’t flirting at the party. She was so confident you were going to deliver the goods to her door, and you trusted her not to stop you when you stole the eggs. Come on, Red, you know she was flirting with you!” Carmen felt Zack and Ivy’s eyes on her expectantly, and she chuckled at Player’s exasperation. “Player, I’m pretty good at reading people, and I’m fairly certain she wasn’t flirting with me. Even if she was, I was not flirting ba-” “Then what about the roses?”

Carmen’s eyes widened almost imperceptibly. How did Zack, of all people, know about the roses?

“Oh my god, the roses! Carm, why the fuck didn’t you tell us about the roses?” Ivy exclaimed, springing up from her relaxed position on the couch.

Carmen bit her lip before answering. “They were just flowers, as a thank you gift for the help. How do you know about them, anyway? I didn’t buy them until after you guys left.”

At that, Player piped up once again. “So Red, you know how at the end of each month, I look through our funds and see how much we spend on capers, to set our budget for the next month? Well, it was pretty interesting for me to see that you used our encrypted card to buy a bouquet of red roses from the flower shop across the street from Julia’s apartment, on the same day we left her the goods.”

Fuck. Carmen needed to shut this down, now. “They were just a thank you gift guys, nothing more. Just something Jules could keep for herself. And red is my color, so the roses seemed like a good gift. Now if you’ll excuse me,” Carmen glared at the redheads sternly, daring them to stop her, before looking down at Player with the same forbidding look. ”I’m going to take a shower. Player, let me know when you’ve got a red eye to Seattle ready.” Carmen closed the laptop, tucked it under her arm and walked out of the room without looking back. ~~~

The video call flickered to black, and Player leaned back into his chair, sighing. Red can be so thick-headed sometimes. As he booked her flight, he thought back to their teasing and banter from moments before.

Red seemed pretty genuine- maybe we were wrong after all.

Player took a deep breath- he didn’t want to call Carmen back so soon, especially when she seemed pretty pissed at the end of their last call- but he had booked her flight for a short two hours from now. So, Player reconnected to Carmen’s laptop, still looking at the red eye information on his other monitor, before hearing a loud, exasperated groan coming from his speakers.

“Holy fuck that was such a mess!”

Player’s head snapped towards his other monitor. The laptop had been set on the dresser across from Carmen’s bed, where she was laying sprawled out in agony. Player quickly hit his mute button and sat back to watch.

Carmen’s arms raised up to cover her face- though Player couldn’t see it, he was sure her face was covered in her signature color. “God, and the roses- why did I use the card for the roses? That’s a basic credit card slip, how am I so stupid!”

Carmen sat up, hands still over her flushed face. “I’m so fucking lucky they didn’t hear us on the ferry or at her office, there’s no way they would’ve ever let that go- I thought I wasn’t being obvious about this stupid crush-

That was all the confirmation Player needed. He clicked unmute and nearly shouted, “So you do have a crush on Julia! I knew it!”

Carmen’s head snapped up to the source of the sound, her face as red as her coat hanging on the wall’s hook. “Player! What the fuck are you-” Carmen froze as she watched Player pick up his cell phone. “Player, if you do what I think you’re about to-”

“Then what? You’re two thousand miles away Red, I'm practically untouchable.” He laughed and grinned smugly at the webcam as he dialed a number.

“Player, you are so dead next time I visit Ontario!” Carmen yelled before she threw her door open, barrelling down the hall to the stairway.

~~~

Zack and Ivy watched in silence as Carmen walked out of the room. When they heard the door to the stairway close, they looked at each other, before they couldn’t take it anymore and burst into laughter.

“Holy shit she looked so mad!” Ivy wheezed through her laughing fit.

“I know! Do you think that means she was telling the truth?” Zack questioned as he tried (and failed) to calm his giggles.

“No way.”

“But she seemed pretty-”

“What are you two laughing about?” Shadowsan’s stern voice stopped the twin’s giggling dead in its tracks. Just as Ivy opened her mouth to make an excuse, since she doubted Carmen wanted Shadowsan involved in her love life, (he is like her father, isnt he?) Zack spoke up.

“We tried to get Carm to confess that she likes Julia, but she kept on telling us she just likes Julia as a friend. Maybe she wasn’t lying, most of her reasons were pretty solid.” Ivy would’ve smacked him then and there if Shadowsan hadn’t interrupted her train of thought with a small chuckle. Since when did Shadowsan chuckle? “On VILE Island, Carmen was trained to be a master of deception. Do you not realize that she was also trained to survive any interrogation?” Shadowsan said, with…humor in his voice? Zack and Ivy were silent for a moment. “Wait, does that mean she actually does like Ju-” The moment was interrupted with a call on Ivy’s phone. When she looked at the caller ID, her eyes widened as she answered it and put the device on speaker. “Carmen does have a crush on Julia!” Player shouted from the phone, just as the Crimson Gay Ghost herself burst into the room and crashed into Ivy. “Dammit!” Carmen yelled, taking the phone from Ivy who was now on the floor with Carmen and laughing. “Player, I’m going to fly to Ontario and kick your ass!” Player’s laughing from the phone was almost drowned out by Zack and Ivy’s. “Oh no you’re not, you’ve got a flight to catch in two hours!” “OoOh where to? To go see your “favorite ACME agent”?” Ivy teased through her laughter. “Yeah Carm, I thought thieves love Jules!” Zack said as he laughed. Carmen jumped off of Ivy, her voice a noticeably higher pitch and her face extremely red as she shouted, “No! I mean- well, that is- I just-” As Zack, Ivy and Player continued to tease an extremely red-faced and stammering Carmen, Shadowsan smiled and quietly walked out of the room. It seems the war may be coming to a close with ACME on their side, but that doesn’t mean Carmen has to stop chasing someone.

[yuissamidare]

have you read the last drk volume yet? idk if you read japanese well or not but itd be cool if you could spoil the ending :3c

i haven’t finished it, bc i was going reread from the beginning but i took a look at the ending for you. im glad i did. yui’s birthday is august 31st, which is Independence Day in my country. she’s a virgo. ive been wanting that info since 2013. drk ending spoilers under the cut

yui, as theorized from the start, died. she was killed in an explosion in the Sirius observatory where her and kirigiri first met, and that’s also how kirigiri hurts her hands. some of yuis final thoughts were that she wishes that she could’ve been better, lived a life without making mistake — that she were a talented detective instead of just some normal stupid high school girl. she could’ve been able to protect kirigiri. in the end, yui thinks, i couldn’t protect a single thing.

kirigiri begs yui to stay with her, to live, that kirigiris going to make sure she’s going home alive, hold on, pull yourself together, please, but yui accepts her fate, and thanks kirigiri. her last words are her apologizing for treating her like a criminal and asking how she could make it up to her because at this rate she’ll..... and her last thoughts are about kirigiri too:

you were right all along, so stand proud. oh, cherry blossom petals. they’re beautiful, aren’t they, kirigiri-chan? you’re very.......

samidare yui dies.

kyouko kirigiri wakes up in a hospital bed with ruined hands, she wants to see yui. she ends up meeting salvador, and the girls from the saint annes academy, tsukiyo and nazuna from the libra girls academy case that was in vol 4 & 5 I believe?? (check jess’ blog bc I’m still working through them) because they also knew yui. salvador goes over her injuries—hypothermia, severe burns on her hands—and says it’s a miracle she survived 

“and what about yui-oneesama?” kirigiri asked. those were the first words she spoke in that hospital.

“about her...” yadorigi turned away, and the time he spent grasping for words was more than enough of an answer. kirigiri could easily guess what came next: “It was too late for her.”

“i see...”

kirigiri turned to face the curtain, and her reaction baffled the girls and tsukiyo who was with salvador. why the fuck wasn’t kirigiri crying?! she loved yui, didn’t she? they were friends right?! where was kirigiris heart?! don’t you pity her at the very least?! are you even human?! such and such. salvador tells her to cut it out. though even though kirigiri didn’t outwardly emote, she was doing her thing compartmentalizing her emotions unhealthily which was the family way u know.

in the end, tsukiyo weeps all by herself, and nazuna holds onto her. meanwhile kirigiris low key having a crisis

even still, am i detective? kirigiri asked herself. is she willing to die as a detective? she’s not a detective for the sake of helping other people, that’s just how she was bred and raised. however, the days spent by yuis side taught her that even she could feel helpless — she thought she was proud to be born as a detective, but maybe she was just clinging onto that to compensate for something else. in the end, there’s no one to protect her, and no one, not even she herself, could save the the person dearest to her.

salvador starts talking about the committee and shinsen will being passed along to new people. they need her help. but kirigiri’s angsting really really hard and says no. in her own words: 今さら自分に何ができるというの。霧切響子はもう死んだ。あの日、彼女と一緒に。

but what can she do now, on her own? kirigiri kyouko has already died. she died that day, together with her (yui).

so yeah she’s having an awful time. and she gets discharged when the cherry blossoms start falling and covering the dreary snow. neat! the irony! she goes back to Sirius bc there was a crossbow missing from the scene, and she won’t rest until this one incident is solved. shen then figures out who fucked her and yui over so bad. it could only be him, it could only be shinsen fucking mikado.

we then learn her grandpa was detained bc he was a suspect in shinsens murder, and she talked to him about yui. kirigiri gets upgraded to dsc 910. she finally has a 0 on her card like she always wanted... she can’t feel happy about it. this number doesn’t mean anything to her, anymore.

she gets a letter from yui, that she wrote in case she died first. talking about how she knew one day that she couldn’t be there for her forever, but she hoped she could take some of kirigiris burdens from her, or maybe she just made everything worse. yui had her own baggage, and couldn’t support her properly, but yui knows one day she’ll have people who love and support her like yui did, like she wanted to. she tells her to take breaks and to take care of herself — yui says she’s knows she’s more trouble than she’s worth, so thank you for sticking with her kirigiri-chan. and goodbye.

she remembers a conversation she had with salvador—yui saved her, and now she’s gone . like all the times before that, yui used her body to cover her so she wouldn’t freeze to death after the building exploded, and kirigiri couldn’t help her.

“hey, kirigiri-chan, did I take some of that weight off your shoulders?”

everything is silent. no cars on the road, no sound. 

kirigiri loses her shit, she breaks down completely despite trying so hard to suppress her feelings.

emotions are not needed when it comes to detectives... she’s been following that adage all her life, so why is it so hard to follow now? why can’t she stop tearing up? she’s ruining her bandages with how much she’s scrubbing her eyes from crying. finally she just falls to her knees and wails. she’s sorry, she’s so sorry yui-oneesama. she keeps calling her name, willing her to just pop in right next to her, because she knows she just needs to call her name, and yui will trip over herself to come to help her. yui-oneesama will definitely come save her. big sis yui. big sis yui....

so she’s not okay! and I’m not ok. I am crying. there’s a time skip where kirigiri goes to yuis hometown to visit her grave. she’s happy to see that other people gave her offerings too, she sets flowers down and prays, and asks her to keep watching over her. 

She calls salvador and agrees to help. years pass and she goes to hopes peak. naegi finds her dsc after she dropped it, bc he was looking for something sakura threw. naegis like wtf is this also are u on a job how old were u when u started being a detective and kirigiris like UGHHHH go away but then she’s like... hmmm whomst is this little twink 

the last lines of the book are “fine then, let’s have a chat, naegi-kun.”

[oh-no-whoopsie]

reasons I love kip!! (aka @ghostsingold) 

(making this post bc they deserve all the love and my meds have kicked in so im able to be productive today. thanks long-acting adderall!!) 

kip I love you for so many reasons and as I fill out college applications im gonna list them out <3 no special occasion its just! you make me happy and I wanted to share that with you and since I have a teeny blog no one will see this but you <3 

1.) this response to a post I made on my old blog. it was one of my first positive interactions on Tumblr and this tiny piece of writing made that entire week easier. it was a tiny start to a friendship and it was also a stranger caring for me, which at that time I didn’t think was possible. 

2.) every single time that they have been a part of the Brown Eye Stan Club and hyped up brown eyes,,,,dude I can’t you’ve been such a big part of the journey to accept my brown eyes. it means so much to me that you just? say it!! you’re proud of the fact you love brown eyes! hell yeah dude! thank you!

3a.) for sending me songs that remind you of me??? to have someone think of me?? MY HEART?? I- I can’t express how much it means to me I just,, hnnhhh you even made me a fucking playlist (which I listen to CONSTANTLY) (here is the playlist ) just. dude. I love you 

4.) one of those songs is Glitter & Gloss by Skott and 

          a) this song makes me feel like a fucking badass 

          b) made me feel so appreciated and loved because it was the first time someone had said “this song reminds me of you!” 

          c). when I was stalking your blog trying to find my old posts I found this post about that song and?? sunbeams through Spanish moss? trees? pretty?? is this how you see me?? im in love????? also this ask I sent you where you describe your love for the sun <3 the implication that I am even a little bit like the sun to you makes me wanna cry happiness 

5.) Your taste in music is SUPERB. IMPECCABLE. A DELIGHT. 

6.) Someday I will have the strength to do naniwrimo with you and that will be a glorious month (and next September we should be able to be writing buddies!!!!! because now I have meds for attention span so I can write again >:) ) 

7.) A long time ago (old blog) I asked for people to give me nicknames because I never got cute nicknames and because I could only ever insult myself. for the longest time I forgot what you said but I remembered!!!! it was birdie!!

          a). even though now most people call me doe cuz of bumblebee, you were the first person to reply to that post and just because milk suggested fawn/doe and it stuck doesn’t mean I love birdie any less 

          b.) it means a lot that you suggested it in the first place and while I was finding links for this post I came across this ask where you call me birdie :> p.s. you still mean a lot to me and I hope you’re okay <3 

8.) every single time you sent me a picture of a frog :),, also that one post about taking fake shots of water still sends me but I can’t find it to link it,, and also everything you listed on this post including the fact that it is inspired by my post

9.) when you agreed to talk to people for me when I was panicking thinking they were going to die but had to go to sleep. that means so much that you would take that role on and dude I am so so sorry I ever asked that of you. 

10). you made me find magic in the sunlight and not just the moonlight, you helped me find that balance and accept that piece of me and it sounds stupid but its really important ok also im just gonna say it: your voice is perfection it is comfort it is warm and all things good in this world. ive only heard you speak like twice but I could listen to you for the rest of my life

11.) sometimes you send me posts that r like “thinking of you!!” and THEY MAKE MY DAY omfg 

12.) when you drew me!!! 

          a.) bc holy shit you are an amazing artist if you let me I want to post that drawing of me on my blog

          b.) I was supposed to draw you in return I am sorry I did not,, I still plan on doing it tho 

          c.) we drew ourselves as fairies and that was pretty fun 

          d.) you made me see beauty in myself I- 

13.) for never once encouraging my ed or bad habits. you were ready to call me tf out and I appreciate that so much dude? you were never subtley pro you also seem ready to stab anyone who opposes you. hell you post callouts against pr0-ana shit and m**nspo and f*tspo and photoshop and all of it. I admire you so much 

14.) for letting me ramble on about hermes and offerings and spirituality! 

15.) for lighting a candle for Catherine and talking with me that night

(I have the entire conversation copied into a google doc on my phone because it needed to be saved. the things you said are beautiful. it is so touching and breathtaking and if I could hug you I would and  I promise not to forget if you won’t forget. )

16.) holy shit dude P O E T R Y, both for being so good at it and for reading mine. 

17.) helping validate my arospec questioning and enby questioning,,, it was actually through your blog that I realized oh shit! I might be aro!! and having someone to talk about gender issues and arospec stuff is SO AMAZING and I love you <3 and thank you for talking with me and for helping me and for validating me 

18) validating my anger!! or at least helping to do so! you point out when things are unfair! you genuinely want my life to improve! you helped me realize some of my friends are shitty! you helped me accept things! 

19.) I love your vibes. I can’t say this enough but somehow you are just so wonderful to me,,, you are amazing I can’t describe it. you are ethereal and terrific and your features could be anywhere from beautiful to cryptic to solid to handsome but I promise you that there is something unique about you. a bit of mystery and magic left over from the days when fairytales were real. you have all the power of the sun and light and fire in both the life giving and the destructive aspects. you are so perfect and wonderful thank you 

20.) because you told me “you do not deserve to be traumatized” and in all honesty that slapped me into reality. if i still had my old Tumblr I probably would’ve screenshotted it so I could get the exact quote but I do not know how to make you understand How Much That Helped me 

all in all,,,, I must end the list here because I need to go be productive. alas.there is more I didn’t even BEGIN to mention,,, but kip, you are my rae of sunshine. someday we are going to go be cryptic authors in Scotland who disappear into the woods, perhaps to hunt with the faeries, perhaps no, who knows. we will become part of the local lore,, independent and happy and spooky. 

I love you so much!  also sorry I went through your archive to find all this,,,, to be fair I already did it once to find my posts <3 

I would never say that just one person “saved me”. thats too big of a responsibility to share. but kip, you helped save me, in ways I can’t explain, from myself and from death and from an abyss of numbness. you saved me from a thousand tiny deaths and gave me a thousand new pieces of life and I would not be the person I am today without you. I love and appreciate you so much and you bring me sunlight and joy and peace and connection. you are a true friend to me. thank you for being here. you deserve the world and so much more. 

[snazzamazing]

Most of you have noticed already but there has been a huge lack of me posting recently. I have been having one of the most toughest artist times for a while. I've in this mood where I would be having major art block bit lots of motivation at the same time. When those two moods combine into one, it just makes one big mess of chaotic emotions. It's been going on for a long time. I'm stuck with my art at the moment. I'm just going to come clean and say it but doing art lately has been feeling like a tight and complicated stressful schedule for me. For months and months I've been having a mindset where I feel like I NEED to be posting constantly because I fear that if I dont, people would leave me. I fear that my account would just die and that my content wouldn't be relevant anymore. I hate that feeling. My art has been seeming like it's only meant to be posted to show that I'm active. My text posts or me answering questions now made me realize that I'm not even doing those for fun anymore! I'm only posting them to let people know that I'm still here. It really does seem like I'm working for some big company and that I have to post my work constantly and have to make sure it's all coming out perfectly, and its stressful. Now this is nobody's fault, this is just how I feel now.

I like to look back at some really old posts/art of mine to remember what it was like to feel more free. I miss the feeling of not caring about people's opinions on my interests. I miss the feeling of posting whatever I wanted and posting whenever I wanted. I want to go back to that and I am for sure going to work hard on getting back to that. I've honestly have been so scared to post art now. I miss posting about ships I like, about stupid comics, about my silly fnaf ideas, about my other interests but people's judgments and opinions all of a sudden matter to me now. It has started being that way ever since my account started getting bigger and bigger. I would get attacked for bringing up a thing I like or a thing I'm into and it really scared me and made me not want to share my opinions or interests ever again. I absolutely despised constantly having that feeling. That all ends now. I want to be down to earth with everyone because ya know, I'm human too.

Okay now let's talk about what I wanna do with my art. My art has been feeling repetitive and bland to me. I dont want that. For the past time I would mention stuff like "posting this soon!" Or "get ready for a new post Tomorrow!" And then never post it ever. Why? Because plans dont work out all the time. I only post art I'm satisfied with so if my art takes forever to post or just gets cancelled on posting then that's that. I do feel bad, but I'd rather have art up that makes me happy too. The fnaf 2 art I said that I was gonna post? Yeah, not happening. It's not turning out as I wanted so sorry for missing out on the fnaf 2 anniversary:(

Speaking of fnaf, I am still going to continue drawing it. But I've been wanting to draw other content too for the longest time. The reason why I dont post other content more is because nobody is interested in it. It doesnt get as much attention as my fnaf art. That used to not bother me but the thing is I cant keep doing fnaf content forever so I care now. I want to post more about my ocs and their wacky world. I want to post about other fandoms, even fandoms that I'm not even into! I have been dging to post overwatch but held back on that because the whole blizzard controversy happened and I was scared that people would hate me to post overwatch at such a bad timing like that. I've been into overwatch for years and have been wanting to post art about it but didnt because I was very self conscious on my human style. But now that I figured it out, things went all over the place. For those of you who dont know, I've also had an overwatch blog years ago but deleted it later cause I didnt like how the blog turned out. I am going to post overwatch art in the future cause ive enjoyed the game for years now. What blizzard did was terrible and I'm not on board with it so please dont hate me, I just really like the OW characters. ANYWAY, I WAS HAVING A PANIC ATTACK AND RANTED OFF TRACK BUT YEAH. I WANT TO EXPAND MY ART A LITTLE.

And last thing. I've said it before, but I HATE feeling like my art has to be on a schedule where theres deadlines and where I have to post constantly. I'm having mini burnouts. So to all those people who sent messages about me not posting anymore or about my account dying, I want to let you know that my account is still alive and will have posts. Please understand that if I am taking forever to post something new, I am trying to figure things out. I am trying to figure out time management for school and art. I am trying to figure out things on my art style. I am trying to figure out new ideas for big projects I wanna do. I am trying to figure myself out and I dont need to be rushed. I am an artist and I am free to do what I want and post whenever I want. Art is for fun and for stressing myself out.

THERE, THERE I FINALLY RANTED IT ALL OUT. It was an extremely long rant, but I really needed to get it off my chest. Again, nobody is at fault here and nobody is forcing my wack behavior to be like this, it's just some thoughts I need to get out of my head. You are all important and matter to me so I have to be honest with everyone. I cant keep hiding away. I'm just some teen wacko girl that wants to draw characters and be friends with you cool weirdos :)

Love you all💖

Edit: I am so sorry if my rant made no sense and is all over the place or if it somehow upset people, that wasnt my intent. Its 2am and I'm all panicky so I had to rant sO THAT I CAN SLEEP

[advicefor-yu]

Submission from D

(if you see my story on another advice blog, its because the waiting list for another ask blog i came to was four whole months and im not sure if i can wait that long :( im sorry if this comes off as rude but i needed advice and you seem wonderful and trustworthy)

Hello, ive seen some people come here for help and im hoping for some clarification/advice on some issues. Im 16 years old and a sophomore turning junior next year, during my freshman year of highschool, i began secretly dating someone, Z , my parents found out and grounded me. I tried leaving him but i felt so in love, that every time i did i just ended up right back to him. I suffered from no social contact with anyone as punishment, for the year and the summer, i felt as though i was obsessed with him and after some miscommunication we ended our relationship. Ive recently began dating a new guy, M. hes sweet and funny, but before this pandemic me and Z had forgiven eachother for all the stuff we had put each other through and were friends now?? I guess,, Z occasionally has messaged me and responded to my posts on social media and I believe I’m suppressing romantic feelings for him although I love my boyfriend very much. I dont think i was ever completely over my last relationship and its quite frightening. I wouldnt ever go back to him due to the damage it put on my mental healt but i find myself missing him and fighting back memories of us hanging out. I dont understand why im feeling so conflicted, i could never go back.Im also dealing with family issues. My parents never trusted me after that incident (understaibly so, i would lie to them constantly and sneak off, i feel so guilty and stupid) and my mother lets my other siblings get away with more because they have behaved better in the past. I can barely focus on one thing at a time( i believe i have adhd) and life with an autistic younger brother makes things super hard, we drive outside all day and come home late because otherwise he would panic. My mother has unrealistic expectations of me since im the only female in the household and wants me to give up my dreams to take care of my sibling, and i feel guilty for not wanting that responsibility since my mother always mentions im useless, and that when she was my age she could do much more for herself.

I have so much going on in my head right now and i dont know what to do, i cant reach out for therapy, too much money and my parents believe that only insane people need therapy. I just dont know what to do and im so scared.

thank you in advance, have a good day <3

Everything will be okay, we’re going to work this out one step at a time. If you feel conflicted with your feelings for Z vs M then maybe you can ask yourself a couple of questions and list out the pros and cons for both relationships. It already sounds like you want to be with Z but you’re trying to come up with reasons to why you can’t be with him. 

When you close your eyes, who is the first person you see? When you look at Z, do you get butterflies? What about with M? What does Z have that M doesn’t? Did Z treat you better than M? What can M do to make you forget about Z? There’s always a spark between you and the person you truly feel for, which one gives you that spark? Gives you the feeling of sweeping off of your feet? these questions can give you an idea of whom you’re feeling more for. 

If those questions made you choose Z, then: Why do you want to be with Z despite the mental damage done to you? What guarantee is that you won’t experience that again? Did anything change? Is there a specific thing you miss about him or the relationship that you can implement in your current relationship? 

If you want to get over Z then it’s very important that you put some distance between you two. Remaining in contact will only resurface old feelings and it’ll constantly make you question yourself. So take another break from him, cut him off completely if it will help you out better. No relationship is worth it if it’s constantly affecting your mental health. 

As for your home situation, take it slow. It is not your job to take care of your siblings all the time, they are her children and that is her first priority, not yours. You can help out as much as you can around the house but don’t let her words get to you. This is not your responsibility. You are still young, you are still growing and learning about the world. She has no right to put that extra weight on your shoulders. If you want to help her out, then maybe you guys can come to a mutual agreement on planning a day-to-day schedule. Whereas, you will help clean the dishes if she cooks the meal 3 times a day. Or you’re going to be studying for school from 10am-4pm and after that you can spend time with your siblings or take out the trash or do the dishes. Something that will even out the field for you. Your mom might not like it, but I’m almost positive that she will eventually accommodate to the schedule. I know it’s not gonna be easy to be this assertive or to even suggest this, but at least you can try right? End of the day, you have control over some parts of your life, take advantage of it. 

I hope things begin to look up for you. Hang in there, it will get better soon! 

[zombiequincy]

THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all had witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

MUN NAME: Hela     AGE: 21       CONTACT: IM

CHARACTER(S): Giselle Gewelle, Yumichika Ayasegawa (inactive)

CURRENT FANDOM(S): Bleach

BLEACH FANDOM(S) YOU HAVE AN AU FOR:  I have gory Bloodborne au but that one just exists in my head on my lonesome.

MY LANGUAGE(S): English and one very specific Middle Eastern dialect.

THEMES I’M INTERESTED IN FOR RP: FANTASY / Science fiction / Horror / WESTERN / ROMANCE / Thriller / MYSTERY / DYSTOPIA / ADVENTURE / MODERN / Erotic / Crime / MYTHOLOGY / Classic / HISTORY / RENAISSANCE / MEDIEVAL / Ancient / WAR / FAMILY / POLITICS / RELIGION / SCHOOL / ADULTHOOD / CHILDHOOD / APOCALYPTIC / GODS / Sport / MUSIC / Science / FIGHTS / ANGST / Smut / DRAMA / etc. 

PREFERRED THREAD LENGTH: one-liner / 1 para / 2 PARA / 3+ / NOVELLA.

ASKS CAN BE SEND BY: MUTUALS / NON-MUTUALS / PERSONALS / ANONS.

CAN ASKS BE CONTINUED?:   YES / NO    only by Mutuals?:  YES / NO.

PREFERRED THREAD TYPE: CRACK / casual nothing too deep / SERIOUS / DEEP AS HECK. (i love it all sorry I am quite the mixed bag lmao)

IS REALISM / RESEARCH IMPORTANT FOR YOU IN CERTAIN THEMES?:   YES / NO. i gotta know what certain human body parts taste like u know

ARE YOU ATM OPEN FOR NEW PLOTS?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.

DO YOU HANDLE YOUR DRAFT / ASK - COUNT WELL?:  YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. it’s SO BAD FOR ME RN ASGLDKJDJKA i’m very inconsistent i’m so sorry.

HOW LONG DO YOU USUALLY TAKE TO REPLY?: 24H / 1 WEEK / 2 WEEKS / 3+ / months / years. / a lot of it has more to do w my general writing mood and if the thread im writing catches my interest, and rn im writing a TON of really wonderful and fascinating threads so they’re all super captivating for me and i try to reply asap

I’M OKAY WITH INTERACTING: ORIGINAL CHARACTERS / a relative of my character (an oc) / duplicates / MY FANDOM / CROSSOVERS / MULTI-MUSES / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / CANON-DIVERGENT PORTRAYALS / AU-VERSIONS.

DO YOU POST MORE IC OR OOC?: IC / OOC. (i have a lot of stupid shit sorry) 

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WITH FOLLOWING OTHERS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.  

BEST WAYS TO APPROACH YOU FOR RP/PLOTTING: just send me a tumblr instant message, i know it sucks shit but im not comfy releasing my discord w everyone just yet cause i use it for personal use as well. i check tumblr on the daily so if you send me a message chances are i’ll see it and respond!

WHAT EXPECTATIONS DO YOU HOLD TOWARDS YOUR PLOTTING PARTNER:  i guess just be able to put up with my rambling and stopping and starting, a lot of characterisation choices i do go through various stages and its pretty messy so when i communicate that with others it usually ends up equally messy. just be patient with me please.

WHEN YOU NOTICE THE PLOTTING IS RATHER ONE-SIDED, WHAT DO YOU DO?:  i don’t mind! sometimes ppl have more ideas that they want to share first and i’m always super happy to listen to those ideas !! sometimes its nice to have someone with a clear guide or structure and be able to work around that rather than trying to fumble through a plot together.

HOW DO YOU USUALLY PLOT WITH OTHERS, DO YOU GIVE INPUT OR LEAVE MOST WORK TOWARDS YOUR PARTNER?:  i try to map out some basic info abt their characters that i otherwise don’t know from their bio or verses and try to pick out points of confrontation or similarities to expand on with giselle that can be used as points for like a starter to happen. its either that or sometimes i have really stupid ideas i just toss out there like ‘LMAO THEYRE BREAKING SHIT AT DISNEYLAND’ and go buck wild from there if the other person is down. i also always try to warn people or get a gauge for what subjects to avoid and steer clear of considering that giselle is a bit of a Freak(tm) and will say and do bad things.

WHEN A PARTNER DROPS THE THREAD, DO YOU WISH TO KNOW?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: if there’s something giselle did or said that upset you, i would love to know not to repeat it again (since i do still feel pretty new to the rp game, theres still plenty of time for me to make stupid mistakes). if its just a general lack of interest or uncertainty of where the plot should go, then you dont have to tell me i wont take it personally i promise ! 

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY LEAD YOU TO DROP A THREAD?: sometimes i can be made uncomfortable by certain things mentioned... it happens but its rare 

- WILL YOU TELL YOUR PARTNER?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. i don’t want to upset anyone personally and sometimes explaining the ins and outs of my discomfort make things ten times worse so i just. would rather not.

IS COMMUNICATION IN THE RPC IMPORTANT TO YOU? YES / NO.

- AND WHY?: i am the most nervous person you can meet and my brain is always giving me misinfo abt paranoia and random shit so i having clear concrete communication between two parties abt if something is going wrong or is being received poorly means the world to me.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH ABSOLUTE HONESTY, EVEN IF IT MAY MEANS HEARING SOMETHING NEGA1TIVE ABOUT YOU AND/OR PORTRAYAL?: i need it !! i still feel relatively new to all this and i need to know whats going wrong to improve !! 

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE SUCH SITUATION IN A MATURE WAY? YES / NO.

WHY DO YOU RP AGAIN, IS THERE A GOAL?: to help with my confidence in writing! i have v bad anxiety when it comes to sharing my works and i write a lot of other pieces alongside this blog on ao3 and i want to develop my writing skills just in general. when it comes to like the nuts and bolts of why i rp giselle specifically, its mainly to just have fun and have a laugh w my friends who are really awesome quincy writers

WISHLIST, BE IT PLOTS OR SCENARIOS:  OH SO MANY! ive managed to fulfil a lot of my wishlist threads with like, giselle talking to characters she’s already zombified and i love all that angst but i want to do more stupid shit. i want to make it my personal goal to bully every quincy man and woman on sight. although a REAL dream would be if i got to write a thread zombifying a character who managed to escape giselle’s clutches. and more fighting! i want to get better at describing action and fights and i love to write giselle getting beat up and beating people up! more more more!! 

THEMES I WON’T EVER RP / EXPLORE:   hohoho theres a LOT... uh r*pe/dubcon threads for one, even if yeah i know writing it doesnt condone it, it makes me intensely uncomfortable to put my muse in that scenario, i feel like i have an obligation to like, protect her from that shit you know? racism is one i don’t want to transgress, even though i’m a poc, its not really cathartic or groundbreaking to write abt racism in threads its just... really fucking upsetting. also i know the quincy’s have this very close parallel to the whole n*zi imagery and ideology thing going on and i am not about to start even daring to thread that into my writing or bring those allusions and references of real life tragedies into giselle’s threads. i’ve already talked at length abt exploring giselles trans identity in rp and why im not comfortable doing so, so.... yeah! all those i guess.

WHAT TYPE OF STARTERS DO YOU PREFER / DISLIKE, CAN’T WORK WITH?: i like starters where giselle can just immediately get right into being a piece of shit. mise en scene and all that! cut out the build up and just get to the intense horror !! i don’t like starters where its not immediately clear where the characters are standing and what they’re doing and what’s happening around them. those really disorientate me and leave me kinda floundering because i always need some allusion or mention of a setting to ground giselle in a time and place other wise i cant tell what her response should be

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE MOST?:  EVIL WOMEN EVIL WOMEN EVIL WOMEN. also just characters i can wholeheartedly clown on, or also characters who have hidden depths to them and have a single panel of screentime. honestly it’s just all over the place!

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE LEAST?:  angry old men GSADJDKSJA i could never rp yhwach for example or yamamoto because idk. theyre just so crummy and boring to me. i also couldnt rp characters who always have an upper hand in battle like aizen. i like my dumbasses and i like them stupid and adaptive not just, ‘yes i know this because i Know this.’

WHAT ARE YOUR STRONG ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: i think im nice...? FKSJDKDJSA idk i hate trying to toot my own horn. sometimes i also think i make funny jokes and im pretty chill and laid back

WHAT ARE YOUR WEAK ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: my writing style is inconsistent and adapts to whatever i’m reading so sometimes it’ll be really good and i love it and other times it reads like really bad fanfic and i get carried away far too easily and write novella lengths for threads which should be much shorter. i also get shy a lot and dont think i communicate very effectively but HEYO we’re working on it!

DO YOU RP SMUT?:  YES / NO/ DEPENDS. haven’t had anybody brave enough to try yet lol

DO YOU PREFER TO GO INTO DETAIL?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH BLACK CURTAIN?: YES / NO.

- WHEN DO YOU RP SMUT? MORE OUT OF FUN OR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?: more for fun i’d imagine because that’s just giselles own attitude to sex and relationships where she doesnt want anything deep. it might show character development in one way of just showing how she regards others in a romantic sense to be used rather than actually appreciated as their own person and show how selfish she is but yeah, more out of fun

- ANYTHING YOU WOULD NOT WANT TO RP THERE?:  theres a few kinks and such but i dont think they’d ever really come up. again, just mainly no r*pe/dubcon.

ARE SHIPS IMPORTANT TO YOU?:   YES / NO lets hope this doesn’t make me sound like an asshole, but its more like a fun little side thing than anything important to giselle’s actual development and characterisation. 

WOULD YOU SAY YOUR BLOG IS SHIP-FOCUSED?: YES / NO. again, hardly anyone is brave enough to try to romance this evil cannibal.

DO YOU USE READ MORE?:  YES / NO / SOMETIMES WHEN I WRITE LONG STUFF.

ARE YOU:  MULTI-SHIP / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship  —  MULTIVERSE / Singleverse.

- WHAT DO YOU LOVE TO EXPLORE THE MOST IN YOUR SHIPS?: more how giselle likes to give over her power or dominate in different circumstances depending on who she’s with and what’s being done. BUT AGAIN, not a whole lot to explore yet.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS?: YES / NO. - i mean im down for p much anything if it vibes w giselle.

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- WHAT COULD POSSIBLY MAKE YOUR MUSE INTERESTING TOWARDS OTHERS, WHY SHOULD THEY RP WITH THIS PARTICULAR CHARACTER OF YOURS NOW, WHAT POSSIBLE PLOTS DO THEY OFFER?: if you want an evil woman to taunt and mock and hurt your muse, she’s your gal. you want her to zombify and ruin your muse, shes also your gal. you want her to insult and maim and injure, she’s also YOUR GAL. basically, if you want to do anything fucked up or sad or scary, she can help with that.

- WITH WHAT TYPE OF MUSES DO YOU USUALLY STRUGGLE TO RP WITH?:  uh muses who get really angry quickly or don’t rise or respond to her jabs and are just kinda like a flatline. theres only so much pestering and annoying she can do until realises its not working and just wanders off

- WHAT DO THEY DESIRE, IS THEIR GOAL?:  to find a goal worth living for.

- WHAT CATCHES THEIR INTEREST FIRST WHEN MEETING SOMEONE NEW?:  appearance she always takes an interest in girls almost right away. age as well because she judges old people. 

- WHAT DO THEY VALUE IN A PERSON?:  a good set of guts to ruin and strong muscles.

- WHAT THEMES DO THEY LIKE TALKING ABOUT?:  women, gore, murder, herself, music, stupid memes, gossip.

- WHICH THEMES BORE THEM?:  politics, history, quincy ideology, soul reaper ideology, hollow physiology.

- DID THEY EVER WENT THROUGH SOMETHING TRAUMATIC?:  her family tried to force the burden of upholding the quincy lineage onto her shoulders, she was thrown into the wrong prison and held in isolation, then pressured to become an undying monster in service of a god and then was nearly killed by that same man and left wandering without guidance or purpose. so, yeah?

- WHAT COULD LEAD TO AN INSTANT KILL?:  transphobia. even a whiff of it in her direction and she’ll gut you like a fish.

- IS THERE SOMEONE /-THING THEY HATE?:  the twink soul reaper who outted her.

IS YOUR MUSE EASY TO APPROACH?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?:  if you’re smart, you’ll bring a big bone for her to chew on and distract her while you ask whatever you want.

SOMETHING YOU MAY STILL WANT TO POINT OUT ABOUT YOUR MUSE?: i love my evil queen!

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by:  @bazzardburner​ cheers chicken boy !!

Tagging: @hyouketsu​ @blooming5th​ @viciousvizard​ @glacies-tempestatem​ and whoever else wishes to do this!!

[offacades]

        hellooooo, kim here, once again. and this time i’m coming to you with one of my little munchkins; camila bronte, but pls call her cami. don’t be deceived by her kid face & doe-eyed look. this is a side blog, so therefor i can’t follow anyone on this blog, but hey !! i was too lazy to start up an entire, new main blog for her. under the read more you will find some more information on her. pls hit me up for plots & chats.  i’m sorry for the rubbish intro.

[ lili reinsert , cis female , twenty one ] it looks like CAMILA BRONTE is late to class once again . how do they expect to get their degree in LAW by skipping class ? it’s a wonder that they made it to their SOPHOMORE  year . then again , i heard that they were + JOYFUL which may give them a pass with professors , but they are also - DECEIVING so maybe not . all i know is that they remind me of PERFECT LUSCIOUS HAIR, THE TOUCH OF VELVET & LACED BRALETS  so watch out . oh look , SHE just walked in !

° ☆— F A C T S:

full name: cami ‘camila’ bronte nickname: she prefers to be called cami. her father used to call her cami & it gives her some sort of comfort hearing her nickname  age: he’s twenty one years old city of birth: manhattan, new york sexual orientation: straight major: she’s a law major  parents: her father passed away when she was ten years old. the poor man got ill and died three months after he was diagnosed with cancer. her mother is currently facing life sentence. she has always been a daddy’s girl, so her world practically caved in when he passed away.

° ☆— B A C K G R O U N D:

CHILDHOOD. the bronte family is your typical white picket fence kinda family, only living in manhattan; in one of those carrie bradshaw-likey houses. and honestly, the girl had a perfect life. her parents both had busyjobs. as an only child, cami missed having someone around to play with her sine her parents were working most of the time. yet, they loved her tons. as a little girl, cami loved dances       she LOVED it, especially ballet. she continued ballet until she got transferred to whitton university (will get to this later). everything was just fine until her father was diagnosed with cancer and died three months later. 

TEENHOOD. this was a rough period for her and for her mother. her mother started taking time of her grandmother around this time as well, who recently moved to new york and lived with cami and her mother. yet, the only light in her life was whenever she was dancing ballet. it was the only thing that kept her sane midst all the madness that was happening around her. it was hard for her to watch her mother trying to stay strong, taking care of her own mother and making sure the family made ends meet. as she grew older, cami slowly turned into a rebellious teenager and would come home at ungodly hours. sometimes drunk, sometimes stoned or even both. but she was a master in hiding it all from her mother, because she didn’t want the poor woman to worry about her. as her senior year approached, she was offered a scholarship at Juliard because of her ballet talents and at this time things started to look up for her. just as she was in her peaking days, it crashed down just as quick. she injured her hip around her graduation time, forcing her to quit ballet. she was devastated and wouldn’t leave her room for days. then summer turned around the corner and she found herself a way to keep on dancing and go to juliard. 

PRESENT. in the midst of all the trio drama going around at whitton uni, she got transferred to whitton uni. why? her injury got the best of her and forced her to leave juliard. and honestly, the girl is in a pretty rough shape when she first arrived at whitton. not physically, but mentally. her dream shattered right in front of her and all because of a stupid injury. she took up a major in law, but it’s not something she enjoys at all. she’s trying to figure out her way around whitton. 

THE TRIO & CAMILA. she has no connection to the trio whatsoever. she only saw them at the party before two of them disappeared and that’s all she’s ever seen of them. she feels bad for the family of jacob wright, but that’s about it. 

° ☆— H E A D C A N O N S:

i. ok first of all; this girl seems to be sweet, but it’s all an ACT. she will act sweet with you, but once something doesn’t go as she planned, she will snap so badly. she has lies upon lies upon lies.  ii. ever since she left for juliard, she hasn’t returned to hew home in new york and hasn’t told her mom she had to drop out because of her injury. iii. she deals drugs on the side to pay for all her expenses and to keep on living her luxurious life.  iv. the girl has perfect, luscious thick hair & i like to believe she’s one of those girls that will light up the room with her presence; even though she isn’t as sweet on the inside as she seems on the outside. she has used her good looks in her advantage many times and keeps on using them for her own good. 

v. she hardly ever talks about her past because she hates to bring up the bad memories of what happened when her father passed away and thinking of the good times before he passed, makes her emotional       and she HATES being emotional. 

vi. even though she might not be one of the sweet girls, but honestly the girl is as loyal as a dog. she will do anything for her friends, go to any lengths for them. she will put their needs for her own needs. 

vii. she’s very driven and very organised. even to the point where it drives her crazy when one of her planned things don’t go the way she wants them to be. 

° ☆— W A N T E D C O N N E C T I O N S:

i. tba

[burnedbyshoto]

I wanna start a blog where I write any advice?? I’m lost I don’t know what to dooo please HELP

oh my… you’re coming to me??? for help????? i just… okay…

um

so, as you may or may not know i had started writing for shouto since about… march last year but it was an OC, and then i finally built up the courage to submit my writings for people to read here… also i didnt proofread any of this im waaaay too tired but i wanted to put this out asap for you!!!!!!

this is what i did!:

i created a whole new blog tbh. my old blog is hella old and i never really did anything on it except like literally everything, so if youre curious about what it is youll be disappointed because i haven’t reblogged anything on there in 4 years. i know, i was a terrible supporter of writers and artists back then!!!!!!

created an account with the name burnedbyshouto hated the way the u ruined the symmetry of the title so i made it burnedbyshoto! LMAO if you were curious about that. i went in knowing that i what i was gonna write!

before i created the blog i actually had my first piece ready, idk if you read it but its Watermelon Seeds and Strawberry Milk. that was my first piece and let me tell you i almost cried when i uploaded it. i didnt get a single note on it until 3 days later. now that was the scariest thing ever.

i didnt go looking for help, and i certainly didnt have a single tumblr friend. so i had to wait for my post to show up on the tags! turns out it didnt show up for 3 days!!!!! so if you get around to starting this blog, and would like me to read it ;) ill gladly give you exposure!! because i get it, that first piece is the hardest thing to upload. i was panicking to the point i was nauseous those entire 3 days when i wasn’t getting any attention from it because i thought it meant i was a failure at writing! so you have to be patient and be confident!!!! by day 4 my post had hit 20 likes and i literally messaged everyone who liked that first post because it was world changing to me. i honestly cried as i sent out my thank you’s and those first few likers and followers i remember their urls and im positive im following them all because they’re the ones who got me to say “maybe… my writings aren’t as bad as i thought!”

spurred into action by this new found courage i began working on ideas. i had two at the time, both for shouto (of course). and i got my first ask by ashtheteenagewitch (i wont tag her because i dont want to disturb her, but her ask changed my life). it was the childhood friends to lovers troupe, and it was the first post i made that hit over 100 likes. i sobbed when it broke 100. 

so it kinda,,,, snowballed from there. i started a schedule. i post once a day around 12 pm - 4 pm PST idk if any of you noticed that LOL. i tried going between original content and asks, something ive been lacking clearly on nowadays because i have so many requests! dont get me wrong, i love all the requests that come my way but i havent had time in awhile to write something that comes from me.  but again im not as creative as my requesters, love every single one of you requesters btw. you save me a lot of headaches and pain.

i made sure to create a rules list, and a masterlist soon after, and then i started getting attention i guess. since i primarily stayed within shouto in the beginning and i posted once a day when other writers are focused on other posts i must have gotten the “i just want new content” people liking my posts LOL

i dont know… i can’t say for certain what the trick is to all this…

you just… have got to be confident in yourself!

do what you love to do and your followers and readers will see that. pour your heart into it so that way no one can say it was for naught. never be discouraged, like i almost was, by lack of notes. because guess what! if youre happy writing, theres nothing else that matters!!!! nowadays i don’t even look at my notes because im proud of everything i put out.

im happy about every single one of the things i put out, my only fear is that the requester wont like it, but so far i haven’t heard back from too many of those anons… since theyre anon and wont be informed i finally got to their ask…. but yeah. 

write and post because YOU LOVE TO DO IT stop caring about stupid things like followers, likes, reblogs, and replies. i mean theyre great, i love every follower i get, i smile knowing i made a bunch of people happy, and i cry with every reblog i get. but getting that first like is all i need to be happy. nothing more. 

the final advice i can give to you is just,,, never compare your writing with other authors and writers. everyone has their own style! don’t get me wrong i can tag so many writers that i admire who all have different ways of writing that i wish i had, but the thing is no matter how much i wish i had their writing, i have to live with mine and i love my style even though i feel that it on the blander side of things! you also can never compare your number of notes to other people LOL of course the super incredible authors of our fandom are going to have 1,924 notes on their 1.7k scenario. why? because they first and foremost have the followers to get that amount and then people who may not follow them can still see it on the popular and read it and like it, or whatever they may do. i currently have like 650 followers so of course im not expecting 1.9k notes on anything im putting out! i mean my first piece had 20 notes for the entire month of august and now im pretty sure its at 100. its all about giving it time and patience.

just write bby and someone will love you for it!!!!!!