#I mean i guess if I'm still SUPER sick then she keeps being nice but if I can walk around again?

[liebelesbe]

also my moms sympathy vanishes so quickly when I'm sick lol. for the first few days it's like 'awww my poor baby is there anything I can do for you?' and then that immediately flips over to 'stop sleeping for so long. go for a walk. 😑'.

[scrubbinn]

Slime HRT 4 Months: Sunset & Sunrise

Content warning: Dark tone, Family trauma

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 I'm writing this a bit sooner than I thought. I don't actually want to write this out, but everyone keeps telling me I'll feel better if I express my feelings. To be honest to myself, I really hope that's the case, I could really use a pick-me-up. 

So I ended up talking with my family. Telling them everything. Not like I could hide it anymore, now that my hair is made of goo. I guess I can write about that first. Might be nice for a bit to just think about myself. I woke up last Sunday to find my hair a lot heavier than normal, it was already pretty gooey, with strands of hair sticking together or just kinda always being wet. It also felt a lot more rough than before, I could find split ends everywhere, everyday. That night though, the change in my body sped into overdrive. I woke up to find some of my hair giving way and sticking to my pillow. It's really weird, like those sandy soaps made of a bunch of spheres. It made it feel like I was wearing a pile of clay on my head. It also suds up super fast. Just a bit of water and my hair turns into a perm of soap bubbles. It doesn't have a smell but it gave me an idea. Plucking some lavender I was growing outside, I stuck some in my hair, after a couple hours my house flooded with the scent of that purple plant. I definitely put too much in, way too overpowering. Still, it's super cool to be able to change my scent. so now I've been looking into soap making recipes, after all, might as well take advantage of it.

But with every upside, there's a bunch of downsides too. Nothing physical of course, well besides the fact there's no way I could pass off sandy sky-blue sludge as normal hair no matter how many hats I put on, and Sundays just happen to be the day that my family likes to get together for brunch. I still haven't told them, I just couldn't. They wouldn't get it. I knew they wouldn't get it. So I made the decision to call my mother, to let her know I was feeling sick and I couldn’t make it. That's all it was supposed to be, just that. But when that phone call was about to end, when she told me she loved me I…

Everything spilled out at that point. It felt like it wasn't even me talking, I just had to sit there trapped in this wrong, wrong, wrong body as words and emotions poured out of my mouth that I didn't have a faucet to turn off. I don’t really even remember what I said, but I know what I told her, what I was doing, the pain I was going through, and the plea for forgiveness. She didn’t speak, not for a while at least. Then I heard it. The three words I didn’t want to hear, before she even spoke I could feel myself mentally barricading myself away from the inevitable blast my psyche was about to receive. “Are you sure?” 

Are you sure?? ARE YOU SURE?! What did that even mean??? Am I sure of what I’m doing? Am I sure everything will go alright? Am I sure I want to smash every mirror that gets near me? No. I knew what she was asking. It was all of them. It was every question. Are you sure it’s safe? Are you sure you can handle the harassment? Are you sure you want to hurt me and the people around you because of this? Maybe that last one isn’t fair to her. I don’t know. It felt like she said it.

I remember that night, when I told my mother I was trans. I was still living with her at that time. She asked the same question, and I told her yes. We talked for a while after that as I explained more of it to her, but when I climbed up to my bedroom, and when I looked back, her face was in her hands, and she had started to cry. She later admitted to me that she was terrified of possible persecution and the hate I’d get by simply existing. But that image was still stuck in my head, I don’t think I’ll ever forget it. I don’t expect to ever forgive it, and I could tell as I sat in my bed, holding my medication close, she had her head in her hands, holding back tears as she told me she loved me. I just apologized, I don’t know what for. I just felt like I had to. I said that I loved her, she said it again, and I hung up.

I spent the next few hours dissociating in my bed. Simply trying to stop thinking about how badly that all went. Bottling up every emotion I could get my hands on while the others I couldn’t reach in time became tears. It also turns out that goo for hair is really hard to maintain when under a lot of stress. When I came to, most of my hair had fallen onto my bed sheets. Spent way too much time scrubbing it out the scent of lavender. I don’t think I can stand that scent anymore. At least my new hair regrew quickly during my tea break. I don’t really know if writing all this helped. Maybe I’ll just have to sleep on it.

After I cleaned myself up, I spent the rest of the day ignoring my mental health. I just sat on my computer staring at a bunch of games I didn't want to play, and a bunch of videos I didn't want to watch. I sorta just stared at my monitor until I realized I had gotten around ten notifications from friends asking if I was doing alright. My girlfriend had messaged me before the phone call with my mother, and after not receiving a message for six hours, she started to get worried. She practically forced me into a voice call and wanted to make sure I was doing alright, I lied and said I was, she didn't believe me and didn't pry further. We talked for a while until I brought up the phone call on my own. Then she told me she loved me, and said she'd be there for me always. She stayed with me the entire time, as I started crying again, and she let me cry, waited patiently, and then asked if I wanted to watch some silly videos. I really did. Sometimes it's really hard to remember there's still people that do care about you. I'm sure my mother cares in her own way, even if she's not aware how much it messed me up. I don't know how things will go in the future, if there's going to be even more pain. But I think I'll be ok, at the very least there are people who can pick me up when I can't keep running, people who will slow down and walk with me. I'll be ok, I'm gonna run to see what the future holds.

Update: So, I'm not really sure how to say this. Writing about yesterday really helped me out so maybe today will help as well. I was working my shift today, construction work, and my legs suddenly gave out under me while I was carrying a heavy frame. It was like my bones just bent, and I couldn't stand up right. I basically got flattened but there weren't any serious injuries Or anything. My bones weren't broken, no bad cuts, just what's definitely going to be a lot of bruising. I got forced to take some extended medical leave. Paid of course, but I guess this means the next few months are just going to be focused on my changes while I wait around in bed. Which is good, I could use a change of pace.

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Mention list: @a-shramp

[tabletofruination]

Expedition Log: Day One at Casseroya Lake

((small ooc note: i unfortunately only have violet for the moment because i am poor and also just have no way of getting scarlet for funsies. so please ignore any inconsistencies in appearance, i tried to make her look canon as possible with what i had <3 thanks in advance!!))

[pt. 1 (you are here), pt. 2]

[initial recording time: 2:59pm]

"Ugh, should I really be recording in this rain? Green's taking a brief nap, yeah, but ugh. If I don't do it now, I'm totally gonna forget..."

Despite the concern on her face, though, she seems more than apt to get her pep up and repositions the camera and makes a cheerful little gesture.

"...Screw it, we'll do it live! Hi everyone, it's Juli!"

Juliana talks easily, despite what seems to be a small rasp in her throat--one could likely excuse it at maybe a bit of sickness taking her, but still being able to speak on despite it. It at least shows the girl is determined, if little else, as she gestures with her hand out to the area.

"Green's taking a little nap while I go exploring outside a bit! Never really been fond of the rain, that one. But I'm over by the watchtower of Casseroya Lake, and the view is just plain stunning! Here, get a good look!"

Juliana seems to reposition the camera, the view going outward as one can hear the girl's energetic steps as she focuses on a few different views from the lake.

"Ehe! The sky's so clear, but it's still raining Fidough and Glameow--but look at that pretty sunlight! Isn't it just gorgeous?"

Juliana's laughter, her vibrance and enthusiasm, it's all very clear in how she animatedly talks about her surroundings--about some of the Pokemon she's seen so far, about how Darling has been able to go for a nice swim and enjoy herself while Guidance keeps a watch--it's a tangent that gets Juliana to laugh a bit, before she seemingly stops herself short.

"--But right, right! This is, uh, supposed to be about my notes for the expedition, right? Right. I'll see if I can edit this out once I do my presentation, but...I don't know, it always makes me super happy to be able to talk about my Pokemon, you know?"

One can hear shuffling as the camera view shifts down a little bit, as if Juliana is taking a seat upon the rainsoaked ground a bit.

"But let's get started with our observations! And, oh, a little bit of history about this place. That's important too, right?"

"So! This place is Casseroya Lake, basically a beautiful haven for water Pokemon to thrive, and home to at least a few of Paldea's great wonders! On one side, you've got the Colonnade Hollow--a place where Dragon and Fighting types tend to come and raise their young before moving to other places, and a pretty common place to find Noibat, if you're looking for them! The dark cave kinda tends to evoke their old home in...Kalos, right? I think that's where they're from originally, at least."

"Then you've got the Gracia Stones, which are probably some of the nicest rock formations you'll find off of the coast of Paldea! I admit, their history isn't something I've learned about yet, but if I had to make a guess...it must've been the den of a great Water type Pokemon, waaay long ago!"

"And then there's Casseroya Falls! It's the connecting point between Glaseado Mountain--" Juliana turns her camera back towards the lake, angling it so a faint view of the mountain can be seen. "--And the lake itself! Water melting down from the mountain comes and graces the lake, welling in it, and connecting all life within it...heehee! Isn't that super cool? It just means that each and every one of us, we're all connected in some way or another--from the water that comes down the mountain, from the lake, and into the faucets of our homes, we are connected in all things. Or...something like that!"

Juliana seems to giggle a bit, brightly as she focuses the shot on the lake again and seems to sigh as the rain continues. If she minds, it doesn't seem obvious in her (admittedly still a little raspy) voice.

"If you can believe it, there used to be a giant, Titanic Pokemon that roamed these parts. The Elusive, False Dragon Titan...which in truth, was actually two Pokemon working in tandem with one another!"

"You see, about a year and a half ago, I was helping a friend of mine with his own research, see--his name's Arven, he makes the best food you could ever ask for! No joke, I'm pretty sure this guy could put any and all of Paldea's sandwich shops out of business if he opened one up. But I shouldn't get carried away! But we wound up finding and fighting this Titan, see? And at first, it was this big, huge Dondozo that had seemed to eat a Tatsugiri! And like, what on earth, right?! Poor little guy was just living his life."

"But you see--the Tatsugiri, it was actually like, waaay smarter than it looked. It was actually controlling the Dondozo from inside of it's mouth, and it wound up fighting us too after we managed to defeat it's big shield! It was the weirdest thing ever! But we managed to find this really special herb in a cave, and--"

"Juliana. Are you going to sit here and talk all day?"

"--Eep!"

Juliana's phone seems to immediately drop into the wet grass as she startles, but it's...strange, almost. The voice in question that speaks up--it's decidedly older in nature, though it's gender isn't exactly easy to determine. But more odd is the seeming...closeness of the voice. And it's qualities, too--it doesn't exactly feel like a voice that has suddenly come up beside someone, startling them while they're talking.

It seems to almost...reverb, in a way that one can't quite place their finger on. It feels there, yet not. Human, but with just enough weirdness to make one question it. It's strange, but the camera's gone dark as Juliana dropped it, and she seems to chuckle no worse for wear.

"Green, come on! You can't go scaring a girl like that when she's in the middle of a story!"

"I am well aware. I simply think there are better uses of your time than simply nattering into a camera about ancient history; writing is a far better medium for such things, no?"

"I mean, I guess..." Juliana seems slightly dejected, though she seems to laugh afterward. "But you lose all of the enthusiasm with writing, you know?"

"Mmm. I do suppose that is a fair point; I acquiesce." Green seems to chuckle, the sound very light and with a quality that seems mature in nature. Like a good hearted, gentle chuckle. "But we should begin our journey to the other side of the lake, if we wish to make it by nightfall."

"Yeah?" Juliana can be heard shifting a bit in the wet grass, seeming to ponder that. "Did you or Guidance find something?"

"I can sense something in the distance. I am not...entirely certain of what the energy is, but it feels real. I believe we may be onto something, if my hunch is correct."

"Wait, for real?! Why didn't you say so sooner?!" Juliana seems to jump up, her voice becoming more distant as she gets off the ground. "Come on, lets get going! If we have Buddy ferry us across, we should be able to get there before night time, right?"

...Oddly enough, Green's voice seems a touch more distant too. Odd, given that there seem to have been no other steps heard...? "That is exactly what I was thinking. We should make haste, then. I imagine the rain will let up in due time as well, and as long as Buddy stays on task, we should be able to make it swiftly."

"Let's get going, then! Oh, I just can't wait...!"

"Ah, Miss Juliana--do not forget your phone! You will need that, won't you?"

"Oh, shoot, right! Hang on a second--"

Juliana seems to pick up the Rotomphone again, the camera a touch blurry from the rainsoaked grass it laid in, but no worse for wear otherwise. There's a brief bit of darkness as she seems to wipe down the camera, starting to walk back while cheerfully signing off.

"Alright, that's going to end the first part of this! But I'll keep all of you posted on what we're able to find next! Bye-bye~!"

The camera ends on an odd shot of the ground--one which had been seen earlier, if only from a distance. Very little seems to be different about it from a glance, but...

...

Odd. Were there always those little buds growing on the ground? If you blink you'll miss them, but hm. How strange.

Either way, the video ends off here.

[lovebillyhargrove]

Wake me up when July is around

Chapter 14/?

***

They don't talk much after, the three of them still standing there, frozen, eyes glued to the place where the monster was burning thirty seconds ago.

Steve whispers out a question.

"Was it the .. what got Barb?"

"Yes, we believe so. It is also why Jonathan's brother went missing for a week right before Barb disappeared." Nancy answers quietly

"You can't talk about any of that with anyone." She adds

"Why not?"

"It's not that simple. Government is involved. Top secret research or something." Jonathan answers just as quietly

"Research ?? .. What kind of research is that ..?!"

"We are not sure."

Steve might ask a couple of follow-up questions later but right now he feels like he has reached his limit of absorbing new information for the time being.

They haven't moved from the same spot yet.

Steve's feeling a bit .. helpless. Like he needs some advice now, some guidance. What is he supposed to do with all of that?

"What do we do now?"

"You should definitely go home, Steve."

It's unfuckingbelievable. Nancy's major idea is still just for him to leave.

You know what, Steve might've been in love with her, but he's kinda glad it's over now cause the level of pressure? Constant disregard? Nancy sure is beautiful and smart and strong but Steve is so tired of her dismissive attitude

Since the imminent danger seems to be gone and everything is quiet, maybe it's really time for Steve to get going.

"Okay. I'm gonna go home. I guess."

He's reluctantly turning around and heading to the door when Jonathan speaks up

"We're gonna be right behind you. I'm bringing Nancy to her place."

Awww you lovebirds. How domestic. How sweet.

It's funny but it's like

It doesn't even matter now. Nothing matters anymore. There are real monsters crawling from ceilings.

Maybe there's gonna be one falling from the ceiling in Steve's room later, who knows?

Steve pauses near the door

"Actually, Nance, I initially came to apologize for the slut thing, so .. I'm sorry."

"Yeah .. okay."

Okay. Also ..

Steve's looking at Byers and holding up the bat that he's been clutching all this time

"Do you mind if I keep it?"

Jonathan nods

"Yeah, I mean .. No, go ahead."

"Alright."

"Steve! Uhm .."

What, Byers wants his bat back already?

"Yeah?"

"Thanks. For .."

"No problem. Yeah, and sorry for that shit I said once about your family."

Jonathan makes a gesture with his hand like it's all forgotten now.

Good.

Steve steps outside. The air is fresh and frosty. It feels nice after all the disgusting stench and the noxious smoke.

He's not wearing his jacket cause he left it in his car. He really thought the whole conversation that he'd been planning on having would take like .. five minutes.

It's January, but Steve doesn't feel cold.

In fact, he's unsure of what he's feeling right now. The adrenaline rush is only now starting to subdue, and Steve .. he needs ..

He honestly doesn't know anything anymore.

Steve gets into his beamer, starts the engine.

What is he gonna tell his mom?

"You can't talk about any of that with anyone."

Nothing, apparently. Hold on, his parents aren't even home. Fuck, FUCK, he doesn't want to be alone right now.

He also doesn't want to be here. He really needs to get home, lock all the doors, hide under the blanket. It's senseless but that's what he wants to do now.

Steve turns the car around, drives to the asphalt road and presses the gas pedal.

There's a little tremor in his fingers, so he grips the steering wheel tighter.

Maybe that's all just a super realistic dream.

Maybe he'll open his eyes soon and he'll be in his bed and he'll be like

Wow that was one fucked up dream

And he would tell Tommy about that during lunch at school tomorrow and he'd be like

That's sick, man.

And they'll smoke under the bleachers and everything will be like it usually is, and the world is still gonna turn around its axis and be the same.

No monsters.

Only in horror movies

Steve's looking in the rear view mirror to check for the lights of Jonathan's car

He's not so sure he's gonna be able to watch any horrors any time soon

FUCKING HELL WHAT THE FUCK

Someone .. something ?

An animal .. ? A .. a person ??

All of a sudden

Without any warning

Runs or .. jumps .. fucking stands in front of Steve's beamer

SHIT !! GODDAMN FUCKING SHIT

Steve isn't even given a fraction of a second to hit the brakes

He doesn't have time to swerve sideways

He only hears the sound of his car hitting a body

And sees it crashing into the windshield

It rolls over the car

Steve steps on the brakes, they screech piercing the night

But

Oh my god oh my god

When is this night gonna finish?

It's too fucking late

He fucking ran someone over!

The beamer stops abruptly, somewhere on the side of the road, and Steve's looking behind

He can't see anything, it's too dark, this damn Kerley road has got no street lights

He has to get out of the car and go check

What if ..

Steve grabs the bat and jumps out

There are weak shrieking sounds, and the body .. the mass on the dark asphalt starts moving as if trying to get up

The sounds are just like ..

Oh my fucking god you have got to be kidding me

In the faint red light coming from his beamer taillights

Steve sees what looks like the monster with a huge flowerlike head

And inhales the smell of burnt flesh

FUCK

As quick as lightning

Harrington is back in the driver's seat, drops the bat

The engine is still running

Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck

There's only one thing for him to do

He puts the car in reverse and floors the gas

Tires weep and squeal

The car surges back

The wheels roll over the solid mass

It's not enough

Harrington switches gears

And runs the body over again.

Reverse, backwards

Switch, forward.

He can't

He can't let the monster stay alive

He fucking can't

It's gonna come get him

It's gonna kill him, it's gonna kill his family, his friends and everyone in this town

If it stays alive

Reverse, backwards.

Switch, forward.

Faster.

For the love of god, just fucking! Be dead already !!

Again. Again dammit !!

He feels like a psycho. His heart is beating so fast, it's about to burst his chest open.

There's one single thought on his mind.

KILL.

What else is he supposed to do?

Call a fucking ambulance? Hold the monster's hand till it arrives??

With every time it's easier for the car to run the beast over

Put it in reverse, backwards.

Change gears, forward.

Repeat.

Enough ?

Is it enough ??

Steve's getting out of the car not forgetting to grab the bat and looks at the

Oh my god

It's not .. it's not even a pile

Not anymore

It's not a body

Or anything anymore

It doesn't have any form

It's greyish slimy shapeless, seemingly without a huge amount of blood

Grim something

Smeared on the asphalt

Practically leveled with the asphalt surface, like with a road roller

Steve hears the car approaching and turns around

The car stops

It's Byers' old ford galaxy. He and Nancy are opening the doors and

Steve's relieved to see them?

He's standing in the middle of the road in the beams of his smashed up BMW's bright headlights

"Steve, what is it?" Nancy's asking in disbelief

Steve wants to explain but somehow

He can't say a word

All sounds are stuck in his throat

Heart still trying to rip out of his chest

He's just looking at everything and still clutching the nail bat

Like a lifeline

He is ..

Jonathan is suddenly grabbing his shoulder

"Hey! Hey man, it's .."

Squeezing it.

"It's okay."

Steve wants to shrug Byers' hand off, he wants to run again, run the fuck away from here, wants to ..

Why did he ever decide to come to his house to fucking .. what?

Apologize ??

He also wants to laugh because it's insane

The world's insane

Who needs his apologies?

Who's gonna make everything alright now ??

He feels like screaming, it's too loud in his head, it's too fucking loud

He can't ..

Bear the screaming in his head.

Oh shit. There's another car coming, it's heading towards them, fast

"Is it .. the government?"

Steve's not sure if the question was only in his mind, or he actually voiced it

The car comes to a halt, and Steve sees now, it's the police, it's the Chief's truck

Is he supposed to be afraid of the police now, or are the police still good? He hasn't been filled in on all the rules of this new game yet.

Either way, Steve wants to .. confess.

When the Chief comes up to them, looking around and trying to understand the layout of the situation, Harrington starts blabbering

"I don't know .. I guess it was disoriented. Half-burnt. I didn't see it. It ran in front of my car. I couldn't stop. I didn't have time to stop. But it's also .. it's also .. it's not .. human."

Hopper gets on one knee and looks at the mess on the road. Steve shuts up.

There's a woman asking Byers questions.

The Chief looks up at Steve

"It's Harrington, right? Steve Harrington, the one from Loch Nora?"

He nods.

"Steve, do you hear yourself? You didn't run over a person, Steve. You ran over a dangerous monster."

Hopper is getting up.

"It has killed people before. It would've killed you, given the chance."

The woman comes up to Steve and hugs him. He doesn't hug her back or anything.

Who is she?

Oh, that's Mrs. Byers.

"Hello, Mrs. Byers."

"The poor boy is in shock." She addresses Hopper who continues with his speech

"You did good, kid. You did the only right thing in this situation. You've got nothing to blame yourself for. You did good, okay?"

Steve nods again.

He couldn't have possibly called an ambulance or something for .. the monster, really, could he? Tried saving its life? Let it go?

Like, he gets it. Why does he want to cry so bad then? Why is the world so scary? It wasn't perfect before but now there are also monsters and there's its blood on his hands ? If this kind of monster has any blood .. And on the wheels of his car, his car is totally fucked

"Do you have something to put on, Steve?"

Mrs. Byers' question makes him realize that he does, indeed, feel very cold

"Yeah .. in the backseat." Steve gets the jacket, zips it up. He only now notices that a January night is freezing.

"Alright, let's get this mess cleaned up then."

Hopper sighs and takes out two shovels from the trunk of his police truck. He hands one over to Jonathan and they scrape the monster's remains off the road putting it on a piece of tarpaulin.

While they are doing it, Steve overhears parts of a conversation

"Are you two out of your mind?"

"It could've come back for Will, for anyone, mom! You know how he's been lately!"

"All I've been saying and still am, you can't do something like that without telling the adults!You can't! What if it killed all of you?"

The sounds of metal scraping on the asphalt are harsh and grating

"I don't think it has any chance to come back to life, does it?" Nancy's speculating

"Don't think so, but uh .. it's better to be safe than sorry." - Nancy's comment makes Hopper reconsider something. - "Actually, we don't have to drag this body bag around."

He takes out a can of gasoline from the truck

That's an interesting range of tools the chief of police is keeping in his car

But Steve actually gets the idea why. Who knows how long such nasties have been running around Hawkins and Hooper has had to deal with this ghastly business.

"Let's do it right here, I don't think we'll be getting any company."

Jonathan helps Hopper to drag the tarpaulin to the side of the road. Chief generously pours gasoline over what's left of the monster's corpse, ties the tarpaulin up and again pours some liquid on the canvas.

He lights it up and

It's a jolly bonfire, hot and bright, sending sparks high up in the night air.

When it stops burning, there are only black ashes left, but Hopper stomps on them making sure nothing is left unburnt.

Steve's car has got massive dents - front bumper, the hood, the windshield is all fucked up, he has no idea why it still hasn't fallen to shards

It can still drive though, but the visibility is awful at night, especially when the windshield is all cracked. There's a patch of uncracked glass right on the drive's side, Steve will actually be able to see the road a bit.

"No, you can't get behind the wheel of that baby, Harrington. We'll tow it to your house."

Hopper digs around the trunk again and finds a towing rope. They attach it both to the police truck and the beamer.

Mrs. Byers hugs Steve again

"Thank you for saving them tonight."

And tells him to call if he needs anything. Their phone number is in the phone book every Hawkins household has.

Steve gets in the truck with Hopper, Mrs. Byers gets in her son's car and they set off in the same direction. The Chief is bringing Harrington to Loch Nora, and the Byers are driving Nancy to the neighbouring street.

The night doesn't seem to hold any more surprises.

***

Steve starts feeling jittery when he gets home and is left alone. He lies when Hopper asks him if his parents are home, yeah they must be sleeping already. He doesn't need any company. He's okay.

When Steve's inside the house, he makes sure to lock the door, runs upstairs to his room, locking its door as well, and gets on the floor near the bed waiting. The nail bat is lying near him.

No-one and nothing comes to get him. He sits like that through the night, unable to close his eyes for a second.

This is what you get for wanting to be fucking decent. For wanting to make up for your mistakes.

This is what you fucking get. Everything that you knew before becomes irrelevant, revealing one simple overwhelming truth -

No-one is safe. It's all an illusion.

Steve does get in bed close to six in the morning when the gray light starts creeping through the blinds. He shuts the heavy eyelids and falls into oblivion.

Steve doesn't wake up to to school.

When he opens his eyes, he's still feeling exhausted. The

This is crazy. The world is crazy. Everything is just so fucked up, it's crazy

is playing on repeat in his brain.

His parents are still away in Indianapolis, Steve remembers his mom told him something about staying there for the whole week.

At about four in the afternoon the front door bell rings, and Steve's contemplating whether to open it or not. If you think of it, monsters aren't gonna ring doorbells, right?

He opens the door, and there's Hopper, obviously, checking in on him

"Hey, kid. Just wanted to see how you are."

"I'm okay." Steve mumbles

"Where are your parents?"

"At work."

"I thought your mom doesn't work."

"Yeah, she's out uh .. shopping."

Technically he's not even lying. They might be doing these exact things at this exact moment, only not in Hawkins.

"Of course. You doing okay?"

"Yeah."

"Been to school?"

Steve scoffs.

"And what if I haven't?"

"It's fine, just don't make it a habit."

Steve's nodding.

"Steve. Life goes on, okay? I'm sorry you got involved in all of that. We can't spread gossip around but the people who are in on that, we can talk. Remember, I'm just a phonecall away.'

"Yeah. Good to know."

He actually means it.

"Alright. I'm gonna get going, just uh .. don't do anything stupid, and if anything, contact me right away. Deal?"

"You got it, Chief." Steve salutes him and closes the door.

***

He skips school next day as well. Doesn't go out of the house. Lingers by the windows, looking at the empty swimming pool and the bare woods around their yard, awaiting another monster. Sits around holding on to the bat, staring at the ceiling and the walls

Steve remembers that blood chilling horror freezing him up, when he saw the ceiling in the Byers' living room .. fucking sagging - sagging under someone's weight, under someone's bony limbs. The ceiling itself was turning from a solid substance into .. fabric through which terrible sharp claws were trying to scratch their way

To this world. That used to be safe.

So that's the Big Secret. The one that Nancy and Byers have been so quiet about all these months. Every time Steve felt that Nancy was hiding something from him -

All the little misunderstandings, all the lowered glances and subtle changes in moods and conversation topics

All the lies -

All of it was supposed to hide this abominable terrifying secret.

Now Steve knows too. He sort of wishes he didn't.

Steve doesn't come to school for three days straight.

***

On the third day he gets three phone calls.

First, it's Mom.

"I'm fine, mom, just got a slight cold.. No, I didn't go to school today because of it. When are you coming back? I uh .. I kinda miss you. Yeah .. Also, don't get mad. I got in an accident. I hit a deer with my car. Yes, I'm fine. The car's not. I'll take care of it, yeah .. No, I don't need dad's help, just uh .. with the bill, yeah. What? .. Oh, the deer ? Uhm .. it died, Mom."

Second, it's his ex-girlfriend.

"I'm okay, Nancy, just uh .. how often do these things come out from another dimension? Is it possible to predict when and where it's gonna happen? Would be nice to be given a heads up, you know. Yeah, I'm .. No, I remember I can't talk about it with anyone. Okay. Okay, it's not a good idea to speak about it on the phone. Alright, I understand !! I don't know when I'm gonna come to school."

Then it's Tommy.

"I'm fine, I'm just sick, man, it fucking sucks."

"You coming to school tomorrow? Teachers are wondering where you are. You're gonna get a detention for skipping school, you know that, right?"

Tommy, my man, what are you talking about? What fucking detention? Who cares ?? We're all gonna die ! There are monsters falling from attics and jumping in front of cars

"It's fine, I don't care."

"No, but seriously? You don't sound that sick."

Steve's rolling his eyes. Tommy is worse than his mother sometimes.

"Yeah, I'm gonna come tomorrow. Hey, can you pick me up in the morning? My car's fucked up."

"Your car is what?"

"Yeah I kinda crashed it."

"You crashed it?? How bad? You know what, I'm coming over!"

And before Steve can protest, Tommy hangs up.

***

"Yo dude that's bad. Your dad's gonna be mad." Tommy whistles looking at the state Steve's beamer in.

"He won't. It was an accident. Wasn't even my fault."

"What happened?"

"A deer. I was driving late at night, and the next thing I know, there's this big deer on the road, and I wasn't even given the chance to do anything. It jumped right under the wheels."

Tommy slides his palm over the shattered windshield and purses his lips, thinking

"Take it to Hargrove, they say dude's a wizard at fixing cars."

Hargrove?

"Nah." Harrington cringes

"Nah to what? To taking it to him or him being a wizard?"

"To both? I dunno."

Tommy's looking at Steve funny.

"Why not?"

Yeah, Steve? Why the hell not?

"I uh .. you know I don't like the jerk."

"Oh, come on, man. He's okay. He's actually very good with cars, gotta give him that. We can go together, I'll drive you back."

Tommy touches the windshield again and the whole thing comes crashing down on the dashboard.

Fucking hell

"Come on, Steve! Gotta get it fixed! How many days do you think I'm gonna drive your ass around for?"

"It hasn't even been one day, Tommy!"

"No, but am I picking you up before school tomorrow?"

"Yeah, okay."

Steve's flailing his hands in the air

"Whatever. Still don't understand why I have to take it to Hargrove. It's like we have only one repair shop in Hawkins." He keeps on grumbling

"Come on inside, I'm gonna get dressed."

[lianahayze]

Shadow and the Midnight Misery: Chapter 10

Hi all, welcome to chapter 10--we're in the double-digits now! It's been a minute since chapter 9, so feel free to check it out here, and, if you're new to these parts, you can find the masterlist here. Content under the cut; enjoy!

Chapter 10: Time with Dean

"Wow, it's a miracle; you'll actually alive!" Dean wraps his arms around me as I let him in. Instead of us going out to dinner (and potentially being seen and harassed), I’d instead just invited him over and ordered sushi. It seemed a bit easier than making myself presentable enough to be seen in public. Going to the Garver Institute is one thing, but I need to be careful when I actually go anywhere. I might be photographed, and I do not feel like dealing with the paparazzi right now.

Dean kicks off his shoes. "So, what's good?" He walks into the kitchen. I trail behind him slightly, trying to figure out what to say.

"I had an interview recently. You were brought up."

He rolls his eyes. "Again? Dude, people keep asking me about you, too. Hope it didn't derail the whole thing?"

Leaning against the counter, I shake my head. "Nah, it was fine. Just the usual stuff."

Noticing all the food, he says, "Whoa. You ordered enough for a small army." He starts unpacking everything.

One of the things I really admire about Dean is how chill he is. Despite the fact that I’ve been ignoring him for the past two weeks, here he is, completely unfazed.

"How's the band?"

Hmm. How do I put this? "We're going through a small disagreement right now."

His eyebrows shoot up as he looks at me. "Uh-oh. Doesn't sound good."

"It's... not." I squirm. I really, really don't want to tell him everything. There are some things I can share, but without telling him everything, he probably won’t understand most of it. He’d ask a bunch of questions, and the thought of dealing with that makes me sick to my stomach.

"Let's grab a few beers and you can tell me all about it."

I opt out of the beer. I start taking the food into the living room, leaving him to choose his drink. When he finally joins me on the couch, he asks,

"Not drinking tonight?"

Though I knew that it was going to come up eventually, I'm still not prepared to answer it. "Maybe later," I say. It's the best I can do.

After snapping his chopsticks and rubbing them together, he reaches for one of the trays. "Oooh, sashimi. Nice." He opens it. He lifts up one of the pieces of salmon, saying, "What are you waiting on?" He sticks the salmon in his mouth.

"I'm just not super hungry right now."

"Then why'd you order so much food?"

I roll my eyes. Fine. I grab the tray closest to me and dig in.

"So.” He swallows. “What's going on? Why'd you disappear off the face of the planet for so long?"

Not looking at him, I apologize. “Sorry.”

"It's fine. I thought you were just mad at me or something. The last time we really spoke you were late for band practice. They weren't too pissed off by the way, were they?"

"They took it as they always do." And then some. I sigh. "How's Lynn?"

"She's fine. You know the studio she works with? She's actually thinking of going her out on her own, having like monthly subscribers. More work, but higher profits for her."

I nod but say nothing. He asks,

“So what's up with you and the band?"

"They want to get rid of me."

He stops eating, shock appearing his face. "No shit? Dude, what they hell? Are they crazy?"

"They're tired of me being me, I guess."

"But there's nothing wrong with you.” He leans back. “What's that supposed to mean, anyway? What are they trying to accomplish?"

"I dunno. Might be at the parting of the ways."

"There's no way," he insists, shaking his head. "That would be career suicide if they did that."

"That's what I thought! But apparently they're considering it."

“Wait, so they want to disband entirely? Or do they just want to replace you?” I shrug. When they'd brought it up, they hadn't mentioned a replacement--and I hadn't asked. "You're like ninety percent of the band, though. I mean, I know they contribute and everything, but The Midnight Misery without Shadow?" He shakes his head. "Just doesn't make sense." He sighs. "Did you tell your dad?"

"He knows.”

"What's he think?"

I exhale. “He didn't say that it was a bad idea."

"Seriously?"

"He didn't say it was a good idea or that he supports it or anything, but when he found out, he wasn’t outraged or surprised." I lean back. "He just stood there.”

"Incredible.” Dean shakes his head. “What are you going to do?"

"I dunno."

"Honestly, Shadow, if you really wanted to, you could leave them and become a solo artist. You'd have enough demand. We've always talked about you collaborating with She Dreams in Color; now might be the time."

"I'll think about it," I tell him. "But it's just dumb. They want me to be different. So what if I’ve been late to a couple of rehearsals? I always show up, and that’s what matters. Plus, I’m always early for shows and interviews or important meetings. Whenever I'm late for rehearsal, they always act like I’m committing a crime."

"It's your band; you should be able to do what you want. What would happen if you started calling the shots? What would happen if you kicked one of them out? Doesn't matter which, but just to show that they're not in charge of you."

I seriously consider it for a split second. But, realizing that it wouldn't do anyone any good, I shake my head. "No, that's not what I want to do. It would just cause more problems." Despite everything that’s going on right now, I do care about the guys, and I don't want to make their lives a living hell.

Unless they continue to piss me off, that is.

"Oh. Go to the label then. They'll make them stop."

He's right. I could easily go to one of the execs or someone on the board and force them to make the situation go away. But I would rather solve band issues with my band, not bring in someone else. Besides, if they actually did go to the label like they said they did, the label would probably take their side--not mine.

"I don't think it would help."

He takes a sip of his beer. "So, what are you going to do?"

It's the million-dollar question. What am I going to do? I don't want to tell Dean that I've been in therapy; I would have to explain why. I'm not ready for all of the questions he'd ask.

"I don't know," I whisper.

"Well, you need to do something to set them straight. Otherwise, they'll think that they can keep walking all over you."

"I don't think they think they're walking all over me..."

"No? Sure sounds like it."

I don't know why, but I feel the need to defend them. Sure, Dean doesn't know the full story, but they’re not taking advantage of me. Are they being dicks and blowing everything out of proportion? In my opinion, yes, but they're not walking all over me.

"It's absolute bullshit that they're trying to replace you over something so small. How does that even make sense? There has to be something else." He pauses. Finishing the tray in his hands, he puts it back on the table and grabs another. "Do you think there's something they're not telling you?"

More like there’s something I'm not telling him. Still, I shake my head, saying, "Nope. Can't think of anything."

"Then you definitely need to figure out what you're going to do. If they haven't said anything and you haven't done anything, there's no reason for them to act this way."

As he continues eating, I sit there quietly. Somehow, this conversation has made me feel worse instead of better. I knew that Dean would take my side no matter what; he knows the guys and likes them, but he knows me and likes me the best. Right now, I should be feeling validated, but instead I feel... Guilty?

But what do I have to feel guilty about? I’m being honest with him and have told him what he needs to know. I left a few things out, sure, but it's not like I've been bad-mouthing my band or anything. So why on earth do I feel so guilty?

Without notice, I drop my chopsticks on the table and stand. As I walk out of the room, Dean calls,

"Where ya going?"

"Uh. I'm just going to get a drink."

He looks back at me. My stomach drops. I don't know why, but I expect him to chastise me, to tell me no. Instead, he nods and says,

"Wanna bring me another one?"

I exhale. "Sure." With that, I turn and leave the room.

What harm is one little beer going to do, anyway?

-

See you in a few days for chapter 11. In the meantime, let me know what you think of the series. Talk to you soon!

-L.H.

[the-kneesbees]

hi fish <3 because you reblogged something about wanting to interact with people in your blog, i'm going to ask for your advice! <3

so, i have this friend. we're very close and we've been friends since forever. i love her and i know she loves me too. but she's been doing this thing that really bothers me for almost a year now. you see, every single time that we make plans, she cancels them in the last minute. sometimes she doesn't even let me know she isn't coming over, so i spend my day waiting for her, just for her to text me at 8pm like "sorry, i was sleeping. let's meet another day". i don't want to be harsh on her, because i know she went through a rough patch two years ago and she's still struggling. i know she doesn't mean to hurt me, i just think she's gotten so confortable with the idea that "i'm so understanding and i never get mad at her" (those are literal words she's used plenty of times) that she just cancels on me without taking into account my feelings anymore.

sometimes i will be all ready, dressed and make up on and with my bag in my hand and she will text me that she's not coming over. sometimes i cancel or move plans that i have with other people because she insists that she wants to see me, and then she doesn't come and i'm left not being able to do neither one nor the other. and i just don't know how to bring this up. because most of the time, she texts me things like she cannot come over/go to whatever plan we had made because she feels sick or she thinks her cat is acting strange so she's going to stay at home and keep an eye on it. i just feel bad calling her out, because i know these are valid excuses and i would feel absolutely terrible if i said something to her and all these excuses turned to be real. the thing is... it's happening so constantly that i don't know what to believe anymore. every week, she cancels on me at least once. last week we were both on holidays and she canceled on me four days in a row, and always with excuses that i cannot rebuke because i would be a terrible friend if I did.

i don't know what to do. it's something that's getting to me, and i'm starting to think that maybe she's making up things because she doesn't want to see me. and it's making me so sad. i feel so... unwanted? like, i must be someone horrible to hang out with or something. my other friends and even my mother have started to notice, how sad i'm becoming and how this situation has grown to be a constant in these past months. they know i'm hurt and they think i should just stay away from this friend because they feel like she's not being honest with me. i just don't know what to do, because confrontations make me anxious as fuck and i know i get emotional, and my friend tends to get defensive and that scares me even more. so... do you have any advice? <3

i'm sorry for dumping all of this on you! i guess i needed to take this off my chest and you're such a nice person, i couldn't pass the opportunity when i saw you wanted people to interact with on your blog <3 <3 (please, don't feel obligated to answer, i know this is probably too much! <3 )

hey alice <3

I'm not super great with advice, especially considering I've been in a similar situation and had no idea what to do, but I've had time to think about it since so I may be able to offer some help...since you said confrontation makes you anxious (totally understandable) maybe try mentioning that yall haven't been able to hang out and say something like- "hey! I've missed you lately, I feel like every time we try to hang out something comes up haha,,, you wanna try doing (x thing at x time)?" that way you can acknowledge that your plans keep getting canceled but not really call her out on it

or maybe make plans with her and another friend together so if she cancels you won't be left hanging.

if it's any consolation, it doesn't seem like she's doing it on purpose. you mentioned that she had asked you to hang out a few times, so the effort isn't one sided. it seems like she's just been getting busy.

but if you wanted to go the confrontation route, which I know is terrifying but sometimes it's important, try bringing it up in a way that also acknowledges her boundaries and stuff. maybe something like "hey, I've noticed that whenever we try to make plans you end up cancelling. this makes me feel bad cause I've really been looking forward to hang out with you. i know you're busy a lot so is there a way we can plan something that would work around your schedule?" or something like that idk..

I hope this is helpful sorry I'm not super good at advice haha..of its not, I'm glad you were able to hey this off your chest, and I hope things get figured out soon 💕💕

[fireemblems24]

Silver Snow - Final

Alright, so last time last chapter, for Silver Snow. It's been very, very long lol. But I'm sad to see it end.

Alright, so I'm guessing this gravestone thing is picking who I marry?

Annnnd I pick Rhea!

I'll be honest, I was a bit nervous that I forgot which route I needed to rush to her A-Support for, so I'm relieved I got to pick her.

I'll be honest. I have NO idea who we're going to fight on the last map. Before I go to the mission, here's a few guessed: Evil!Edelgard from FEH (though that seems more likely for AM), TWSITD leader, that one dude from the opening cutscene (Nemesis, I believe).

Let's see if I guessed right.

PRE-BATTLE

Rhea without a crown on her head looks weird.

I really wish she got more of a role in this route, not gonna lie.

Is Rhea gonna die? But I picked to marry her. She better not die.

Byleth ruling Fodlan in this route makes sense at least. Especially if Rhea's all sick and stuff now.

Great, Rhea's just a plot-dump instead.

So Rhea this whole time just wanted to see her Mom, poor woman.

So she fused Sothis and Byleth together? Why? Is that what Jeralt was freaked out about in the diary?

Ah, so Rhea created human-like bodies, and upgraded to real babies then? That's kinda shady, kinda illegal sounding.

OH, ok. Thank God. I thought Rhea ran around experimenting on babies. But if it wasn't going to survive anyways, than she actually gave it its only change. So Sothis stone is something like a pace maker for Byleth?

And Byleth's mother actually asked Rhea to do it. This gets less and less sus the more it goes on lol.

Ok, so that explains why Byleth was all weird before Sothis woke up too, because it was only magic keeping Byleth alive.

But . . . if Sothis is inside Byleth, and Sothis is Rhea's mom, and I'm marrying Rhea - does that mean incest? Leave it to Fire Emblem to create the most pesudo-incest-but-not-really-kinda? ever invented. I guess we know what else Holy Wars inspired in this game.

Man Rhea just ran around being like Fodlan's Oprah - you get a crest stone, and you get some blood, and you get some blood! Everyone wins!

OMG Rhea, stop making this incest thing more apparent! Now she's like your mom was my mom, you're my mom, and your dad is also me. Let's fuck. Only Fire Emblem.

So let me get this straight. In part 1, Rhea was nice to Byleth because she saw Byleth as a vessel for Sothis. Claude was nice to Byleth because Byleth could wield a powerful weapon and had a mystery crest. This also seems to be the reason Edelgard was nice to Byleth based on support timing. So only Dimitri really saw Byleth, hunh?

They really went and made the self-insert an actual god lamo.

WTF is going on with Rhea? It's that heartbeat noise again.

Is Rhea going super saiyan?

The power of her crest is taking over her body. OMG is Rhea the final boss? What a random as hell ending.

Does that mean I don't get to marry anyone??

I seriously can't believe Berserk Rhea is the final part of this story. Crazy dragon isn't anything new to Fire Emblem, but how lame. There was 0 build up to this.

I'm not killing Rhea, Seteth.

If Rhea lives though, imagine all the embarrassing stories she's going to have to deal with and endless PMS jokes.

BATTLE

I'm really glad I'm not all split up. It looked that way on the map at first.

Ick, imagine having to drink blood and have some crest stone in you just to get a promotion at your job.

Gotta give Seteth credit for not hesitating to take down berserk Rhea no matter how much it must hurt him.

LAMO Linhardt doesn't want to kill Rhea because of the research potential. Boy didn't change AT ALL since chapter 1. And we love him for it.

This level was super easy - and then you fight Rhea.

If I didn't have Ferdinand Untouchable von Aegir, this would be a whole lot hell harder. I don't even remember the last time he took damage. This and pot shots with archer horses that hit-and-run took her down.

Still MVP is Ferdinand. Full stop.

He was always one of the best I had in SS, but he started falling behind especially Sylvain, but Petra and Lysithea were also beastly.

But Lysithea and Sylvain got gimped this chapter. Nothing physical can touch Sylvain, but all the magic damage meant his tanking was useless and he can't dodge Rhea either. Everything having high res or being immune to magic at first has made Lysithea severely less useful than usual. Petra is still pulling her weight, but it's all about the fact no one and nothing can touch Ferdinand.

38 turns OMG. Ferdie MVP though. As he should. That boy did a beat down on poor Rhea.

OMG. I think - I just beat my first final battle. 😭

3 more to go 😭

Lord give me the strength (especially Crimson Flower - I don't want to kill Dimitri OR Dedue 😭😭)

POST BATTLE

Seteth sounds so worried.

Holy shit, M!Byleth is pretty in this cut scene. He better be in Three Hopes or I riot.

Castle in the Sky vibes there

Oh, God, so awkward, she just called me mom, and I'm about to marry her, oh God they're going to have some weird sex aren't they?

Rhea's wild rampage - poor Rhea. After getting put on a bus the whole time, she comes back to rampage.

Noooo, why is Kingdom and the Alliance gone? The Empire can suck it, little Imperialists.

Where's Rhea in all this though?

So Byleth becomes an eternal pope king?? OMG, that's hilarious.

The art for those cut scenes though is so good. I really liked this last one of pope king Byleth.

S-SUPPORT

RHEA!!!! There she is. Finally. And she's got her crown again.

Why is Rhea asking if it's okay if she's happy??? 😭😭 Dragon lady deserves all the happiness.

I love how Rhea thinks her other form makes her deserve unhappiness. Like, I cannot tell you how long I've wanted to ride a dragon. Like Eragon was straight-up wish fulfillment. Only my desire for a unicorn was - is - stronger.

Pretty sure not "everyone" wants Byleth to lead. I don't remember voting for him.

Rhea, baby, stop putting yourself down :(

She is owning up to her shit though. Just like Dimitri did.

Now it's Edelgard's turn (I already know that's not happening)

HOW is Byleth's fate Rhea's fault? The alternative is dying stillborn. Like, come on, Rhea, you have a lot to own up too, but this ain't it.

Rhea's design is sooooo pretty though. If I was a cosplayer - that one. (but I don't have thighs like that)

RHEA 😭😭😭😭😭

"Now, I wish only for you to be yourself . . . and to have you by my side."

OMG it's the classic FE "stay by my side" which was tantamount to marriage in the old games, because that's ALL YOU GOT.

RHEA GAVE ME A RING OMG 😭😭😭

They're both being so sweet, I can't.

And here's my ring 😭😭😭

This is so damn cute. Do they all exchange rings like this?

Rhea sparkled. I made her sparkle.

Ok, that picture is kinda cringe, but Rhea's pretty, so I'll take it. Now I need to see Seteth's because . . . reasons.

OMG Rhea's such a SAP "I believe that our love can overcome all."

POST-GAME

Sylvain and Ferdinand got MVP the most. Especially Sylvain. Lysithea and Byleth got it a lot too with the occasional Petra and Bernie.

Is it time for paired endings- yes!!

Cyril went o school. Good for him.

And Shamir became Robin Hood lol.

Catherine left, she's salty Rhea married me instead.

Alois became the captain, good for him!

Manuela helped orphans and never married 😭😭😭

People forgot Flayn existed, but eventually called Seteth father 😭😭😭

Seteth helping the people as expected.

Hanneman kept doing his thing and undid Crest supremacy. What a champ.

Leonie took over Jeralst's mercenaries 😭😭 and became an alcoholic, whyyyyy

Oh, wow, Felix paired up with no one. So he just became a mercenary. I forgot, he's my VW dancer. I didn't use him much here.

Anna made money. This is shocking.

LINHARDT and CASPAR - yesssss, I wanted these two. Lamo they traveled the world and nothing changed. With Caspar the himbo and Linhardt their shared braincell.

PETRA and DOROTHEA!!!!! Another one I wanted paired up!!!! So Petra made Brigid equal like the queen she is.

Wait . . . "Dorothea became the one Petra loved the most." There is no way to heterosexual that sentence. OMG 😭😭😭😭😭 They deserve it.

Lorenz and Lysithea - alright I guess. I wanted Lorenz and Leonie, and don't really ship Lysithea with anyone (maybe Cyril?)

WTF ending is that. Lysithea comes up with some queen boss shit and Lorenz gets all the credit? I guess that's what likely happened all the time, but a shit ending for Lysithea. She's sick and her husband gets all the credit. Damn, she deserved better. Way better.

Sylvain and Ingrid - awww, they seemed pushed together, so I'm happy with this. And Sylvain also ended Crest supremacy and went down and an amazing lord.

That's great for him, but I wish we got a bit more of Ingrid in that ending. Marrying Sylvain doesn't sound so bad though.

OMG Ferdinand married Bernie - lolol. Honestly, not so bad. I think it's cute they were engaged. And I think they'll be cute together.

So Bernie ruled Ferdie's territory while Ferdie ran around helping out all of Fodlan. Eh, it's an alright ending.

Now it's me and Rhea, yea

So Rhea's the pope still, and I'm king. That works. And Rhea helped all those who suffered in war and we were boss leaders. Generic, but I'll take it.

I think that's it, guys.

I'm officially done with Silver Snow.

One down. Three to go.

Oh, music time. Now I'm getting emotional. Lord help me when it's AM and it's my last one.

I'll be writing up a review on SS later.

[tedturneriscrazy]

Here we are with part 2 of what I'm calling the Rebecca Rose Trilogy: Them's the Breaks, Kid!

RIP Beefy Boy (I did mean to type Bob, but I was so amused by the typo I decided to keep it)

That arm seems familiar...

NO (so true bestie)

I'd be hesitant to trust anything in that journal anymore, but some lead is better than nothing, I suppose

Oh, Luz...

King be all like "Do something, new mom!"

Eda said the magic word

Thought this was a cute shot

My mind really was primed for Eda to start rapping the Fresh Prince theme lmao

(Please no jokes about the Oscars, I'm so sick of that discourse)

Earth! Fire! Wind! Water! Heart! Go Planet!

(Most of y'all won't get that reference. Fuck, I'm old)

Seems like Eda can afford to goof off, considering how well she has things down

Well isn't that interesting

This Faust fellow seems...intense

Young Bump!

Significant that Eda would push Lilith along so she avoided getting caught

Faust seems like the epitome of a D&D devil

A good face

Even detention pits need a treat every once in a while, I guess

(Also seems like Eda got in good with the pit to avoid some of the more...dire consequences)

I guess you'd call this a...Faustian bargain

This guy's a real piece of work, huh?

"That was a fun day" lmao

I guess Amity's not the only one with super grip strength

Huh, that seems...underwhelming

Oh, this bitch (affectionate/derogatory)

"Welcome to Heck" very clever

Terra is Dio levels of bastard and I love it

Huh, you'd think Belos wouldn't stand for hippies in the Boiling Isles /j

Ah, scarring people for life, classic

Ayyyy baby Raine!

(I'm 34, I'm allowed to say that because all 14 year olds might as well be babies to me)

I love how everyone was all like "OMG Eda's totally gonna punch Raine when they first meet!" and it's this

(Not that I'm complaining, it's quite cute)

Using sound waves to change the chemistry of the liquid? As someone with a degree in chemistry who minored in physics:

Between Illusions and Bard magic, seems the more liberal artsy schools of magic aren't given much respect

Teamwork montage!

No high fives, but apparently they did have fist bumps in the Demon Realm before Luz

I'd be remiss if I didn't include that screenshot

Also, Eda confirmed for catching feelings first

Okay yeah these two are cute together

Terra's gonna Terra, I guess

"Covens vs Wilds" really giving me a "Cowboys vs Indians" vibe (at least here the Yikes seems to be on purpose)

Eda and Raine being put on opposite sides was basically inevitable

"We're in HECK, people! Let's have some fun!"

No, Miss Snapdragon, you would not be a "good mum"

Ah, survival of the fittest and ideological indoctrination! Truly abhorrent!

This episode really highlighting the flaws of the American education system

"Somehow, they always have the best juice! And they don't share it with anyone!" This tickled me more than it should have

A valiant attempt, Bumpykins, but I don't know why you thought that would work

One on one showdown time?

Nah, complex impromptu choreography! (Where have we seen that before?)

"I especially like you, sprout!" NOPE DON'T CARE FOR THAT

Instead of "everyone's a winner," no one is!

I imagine even Faust won't fuck with Terra

And there's Raine transferred to Hexside! Glad their parents weren't too bothered

(The music is Eda's Requiem, btw)

Family shot❤

Lmao Luz's drawings are the best

Oh shit that whistle...

OH FUCK

Raine, you magnificent bastard!

And Darius is in on it, too?! I knew Keston John wouldn't let me down!

Draining spell? Everyone already figured that one out, but good to see confirmation

All this time Raine was protecting Eda...🥺

Now that was quite a twist! Seems like Raine had their wits about them this whole time! That was a genuinely brilliant turn.

The flashback stuff was nice and fluffy, too. Which was nice, because I'm honestly still not over Reaching Out. A breather is just what I needed.

I will say, though, I don't think I'm quite as into this one as everyone else seems to be? Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed it, and it was definitely good, I just couldn't connect with it as much for whatever reason. Perhaps I'll change my mind later, who knows.

Next up is Hollow Mind, which I imagine will have some revelations.

[just-some-random-blogger]

Death By Bagel

NCT Culinary Student!Mark Lee x Fashion Design Student!Reader Summary: Mark makes a cake cause he's realized he can't lose you to some f-boy. Word Count: 3k+ Warnings: Fluff, childhood au, college au, slowish burn, slight cursing, reallllly fluffy, some broksi-dude action, typos sksksksks, etc.

R E Q U E S T my friend: mark lee, slow burn, friends to lovers

A/N: I wrote a fic that already had like 1k+ word then I LOST IT (i think i deleted it) thus this. It took me 10 years to write this msmsmkskskks. PLEASE TUMBLR IS MESSING WITH ME AND MIXED UP THE ORDER OF SOME OF THE DIALOGUE

“As a doctor, I don’t think you should be doing that,” Mark says, not even bothering to look at his patient seated rudely on the floor. Oop, he’s lying down now.

Mark huffs and looks up from the clay block he was molding on his tray, “YOU’RE SO UNPROFESSIONAL!”

Mark’s mother nearly spits out her coffee upon hearing the words of his five-year-old son. Her husband snorts, “He got that from you.”

The woman throws a look at the man and was supposed to give a snarky retort, up until the sound of the doorbell ringing. She grins from ear-to-ear and dashes to get the door.

When she comes back to the living room, she’s accompanies by another woman and a tiny version of her.

“Markie! Say hello to your Auntie!” Mark’s mom calls.

Mark from the carpeted floor looks up and blinks, examining the stranger-woman and its human-ling. Mark turns to his father who was sat on the couch and receives a nod of approval almost. Mark purses his lips and waves at the woman.

The woman waves back and then crouches down to the little girl, “Baby, say hello to Mark.”

Unwilling, she shakes her head.

“Aw come on, baby. Don’t be shy. Mark over there is a really sweet boy. I knew him when he was in his mommy’s tummy, just like Mark’s mom knew you when you were in mine. You’re the same age so you’ll get along just fine.”

With the unnecessary explanation that gave no justification to the scene whatsoever out of the way, the girl was fooled into peeping up, “Hi, Mark.”

“Hello,” Mark says, not particularly interested, as his patient was still in the midst of dying in his office. He turned to his stuffed toy called Mr. Lion and attempted to stand him up once more.

At this point, the girl makes her way to Mark.

“We’ll be back in two hours, honey. Keep an eye on the children,” Mrs. Lee tells his husband who had been occupied with TV the entire time.

“Yeah. I got this,” he smiles to his wife then goes back to watching.

The bumble bee clad figure sat down to Mark in blue and watched him play.

Mark ignored her for a few seconds, needing to assert all efforts on standing that dumb toy up. Once successful, Mark turns to her, “Do you play doctors?”

Mark was then met with the same lack on enthusiasm. She hums, “I like playing baker doctor.”

All at once, Mark gasps, “ME TOO!”

It was unbeknownst to the children it was oddly specific and the chance of this happening was pretty slim.

And in a blink of an eye, excited giggles erupt in the room, as if they had been having so much fun before this scene. It was here and there the two would become best friends to the very end.

... so I guess it means the reckoning is upon us.

“MARK LEE I SWEAR TO THE FU--” “WHAT! WHAT!?” Mark laughs.

"YOU ATE MY BAGEL! AGAIN!" I growl in a loud whisper, throwing the wrapper at him and his flat head before he could think to dodge it while he annoyingly laughs.

"I asked if I could have it though!" he says, fully knowing his sins.

I glared at him and say lowly, "I thought you were referring to my notes, bread for brains."

Mark snorts loud enough for our teacher to wake up from his nap. Once the class notices, we all pretend to be doing something productive and Mark plays it off with a cough.

"Mr. Lee." Mr. Kim says sternly, clicking his tongue, blinking his eyes rapidly.

Mark finishes coughing and turns to our seated professor, "Yes sir."

"Don't go to school if you're sick and going to cause a racket with your coughing."

Mark nods firmly and Mr. Kim closes his eyes again, mumbling, "page 65 is due tomorrow."

The entire class grumbles. Mark beside me scoffs and makes a face, "Yeah, yeah, Doyoung."

I turn to him and elbow his side.

"Whatever," Mark shakes his head, "professor bunny-teeth won't hear me."

Once class ended, we both get our things and head out for lunch. We walk to our canteen, fussing over assignments, deciding we should do it together later in our mutually free period.

I groan and narow your eyes at him as we have an argument over how he hasn't finished the essay for English, "That's not the point."

"Yo Mark!" a voice calls from afar. Mark and I turn, looking for the voice, and I spot the dimpled senior, Jung Jaehyun, in a table with the rest of his squad.

I nudge Mark and point at the pale guy seated by the corner.

Mark throws him a smile and waves. I follow closely behind him as he walks over to the table. "We're going to sit with them?" I say in some sort of gasp.

"Yeah." Mark replies simply, not bothering to turn to me, "they're cool."

I knit my brows at that and nod, "Yeah I know. But I'm not cute today."

Mark stops in his tracks and throws me a confused look, "what?"

"I didn't put any make-up on today, also I'm pretty sure there's a visible stain somewhere on my jacket, I just don't remember where."

Mark scrunches his face up again, even more confused. "What? How do you... forget a stai-- that's not the point. Why do you wanna look cute today?" He scoffs and continues lowly, "hardly as if you ever look cute."

I let out an annoyed groan and punch Mark's shoulder. "Like when you panicked when Seulgi came over and asked for notes."

Mark openes his mouth, "That is so not the same! Jaehyun's a fuck bo-"

"Just shut up already," I snap and shove him forward so he'd continue walking. "Let's not keep him waiting," I add and mumble, "also I know. Dong Sicheng however is very cute."

Mark chuckles, "he's dated every girl on the dance team."

"Okay, maybe not that cute."

"Ya, Mark," Jaehyun grins and greets the said person with a high-five and chest bump. He turns to me and speaks my name with a smile. I smile back politely and wave.

I'm about to sit next to Sicheng, but Mark shoves me and so I end up sitting on the other side of the bench table with Jaehyun. I turn to Jaehyun with a small, non-awkward smile and shoot Mark a glare. He seems unbothered though.

"So, you up for a round later?" Jaehyun asks Mark.

Mark talks over me, "you know it, dude."

Jaehyun flashes his dimple smile all the stupid girls fall for. I'm only half falling for it cause I'm only half stupid. He raises his brows, "you bought the dough, right?"

This makes me knit my brows.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I really did this time," Mark mumbles quickly. "It's my turn anyway."

Jaehyun gives an off look, "that's literally what you said last time bro."

"Yo, no for real. It's in my bag, if you wanna check."

Jaehyun shakes his head when Mark begins to scramble for it, "no, Lee, it's good. We wouldn't want you friend to get dirty."

Is it just me or do you feel slimey all of a sudden?

Jaehyun then gives me a somewhat, somehow sincere smile, "so. I hear you're in fashion design."

I give a soft chuckle, "yeah. That's me."

"I could tell from a mile away. Mark looks horrible next to your getup."

I look down at my sweater and ripped jeans. Mark exclaims in protest, "shut the hell up, Jae."

I give a soft smile at Jaehyun, "don't know where that comes from but thanks I guess."

Jaehyun chuckles, "I'm kidding," he eyes Mark, "I saw your Fashion Design pin on your bag when you sat down."

"Oooohhhh, haha, okay, that makes sense."

"Ya, Jeff," Sicheng calls for Jaehyun, "it's almost time."

Jaehyun turns to his friend and nods. He turns back to me and Mark, "well, it's nice to meet you. Mark won't put a sock in it even if I beg. See you around, fashionista."

He stands and slaps Mark's back, "see ya later, broski."

"Yeah, bruh," Mark replies.

Once it's just Mark and I, I snap at him and blurt out in a whisper yell, "YOU'RE ON BROSKI LEVEL WITH JUNG JAEHYUN?!"

Mark gives me a weird face, "bruh, I think he calls the principal broski, for real."

I smack Mark, making him whine, "you know what I'm talking about, Mark! And what, are you doing drugs?!?"

He shakes his head in confusion, "Wait, what!? Who the hell told you that?"

"Uhhhhh you were talking about dough and showing up later. Sounds like you owe him money for drugs, Mark."

"??? In what universe did we even mention drugs?? Does this," he slaps his face, "look like a face of a drug addict to you?"

"A gullible idiot maybe."

Mark's jaw drops, "oh wow, okay. I'm done with this conversation." He proceeds to stand attempt to walk away. I scoff, "not on my watch bitch."

Like the true idiot that he is, Mark begins to legit run away from me, like a criminal who stole my cookies. It's embarrassing that he, a man much taller than I, could not even outrun me. I suppose I should be grateful, but this just fortifies my thoughts of him being an idiot even more.

But okay... I wasn't actually expecting this... like... Mark and Jaehyun... like... actually baking bread after school with dough Mark premade at home. Also, uh, Jaehyun looks super cute in an apron that I'm having a mental breakdown. And what's new, so does Mark.

"I can't believe you thought I was a drug dealer," Jaehyun says in a soft pout as he rolls out dough on the marble counter of his friggin large kitchen in his friggin large house. Like dang, I knew he was rich, but he's like Rich™ Rich. Rich with a golden diamond encrusted Rolex watch rich that's in a glass display rich-- wtf.

Mark wheezes in his telltale high pitched laugh as he opens a pack of unsweetened chocolate pellets, "she thought dough was some sort of metaphor or something."

"Cute," they say at the same time. Mark turns to Jaehyun in slight surprise and Jaehyun turns to me. I roll my eyes, though I feel my neck burn. I avert my attention to the scene I was sketching on my pad, Jaehyun and Mark baking croissants. I clear my throat, "I'm just making use of the single braincell between us, cause if he doesn't die falling down the stairs, he's gonna pull some idiotic stuff like baking with Jung Jaehyun."

Oddly, it's Mark that reacts to that with a, "hey!"

Jaehyun rubs his chin on his shoulder, "I also can't believe you think so little of me.'

I break a sweat but decide to answer honestly, "... ... ... You have a reputation."

"Of being a fuck boy?"

Mark loudly transfers the chocolates into a metal bowl, making the two of us snap at him. Mark makes a face, "oh gosh, sorry."

Jaehyun sighs, "well. I admit I get around, but that's only because I get dumped every time."

I raise a brow.

Jaehyun purses his lips, "nah, let's not make this weird. The croissants will be flat."

"Dude," Mark turns to him, "that's literally only because you messed up the recipe."

Jaehyun grits his teeth, "no. It's because Kun's a little teacher's pet and sabotaged me so he could get the best grade."

"No, but like Kun is really nice, he helped me with the fold techinique."

Jaehyun scoffs, "He stole me vanilla extract, Mark. Who does that?!"

"No, listen, he's cool, like, for real--"

"No, you listen, he's a little shit and--"

The two begin to bicker like a married couple, and I begin to draw inspiration form the scene to design some random sketches of wedding dresses.

I look back to the two and still can't get over the fact that I learned Jaehyun was a culinary arts major with my best friend, and that I was currently in the Jung's boojie home because I thought Mark was buying drugs from him. Not what I was expecting at all my day to go like, but I'm not mad this is how it went.

"No, no, no, no," Jaehyun says. He turns to me and points, "let's just get an outside opinion. Babe, what's your favorite color?"

"BABE?!" Mark barks.

I take a moment to reply. I blink slowly, "uhh... pink?"

Jaehyun bites his lower lip and claps his flour covered hands, "Right. Pink croissants it is."

Mark shoots him a glare and turns to me, back to Jaehyun, "she has a name."

Jaehyun nods, "yeah, and she wants pink croissants."

Mark makes a face and Jaehyun examines it, chuckling under his breath. "Wah, you two are something, huh."

No one really responds.

We began to always eat lunch with Jaehyun and his friends. It's funny cause I realized Jaehyun, although I still firmly believed he was out to get nasty with every other girl he sees, he was actually just like Mark. A total loser with a love for cooking.

"Hey," Mark says with a snippy tone.

I give him a look and suddenly receive a paper bag to my face. Mark sits on his chair next to me, as per usual. I smell the thing before I realize what it is. It's a freshly baked bagel. I perk up and smile, "Aw, you baked me a bagel?"

Mark raises his upper lip, "no. Jaehyun did."

I knit my brows, "what? Why?"

Mark narrows his brows, "do you, like, like him?"

I give him a look. I take a bite of the bagel, making Mark look at me in disbelief. I answer, "You do know I only hang with him cause you do, right?"

"Then why'd you eat the bagel then?"

"Uh, a number of reasons. 1) it's a bagel, 2) free food, 3) I'm starving, 4) it smells amazingggg."

Mark does a face, "fair. I've been meaning to ask how he does his seasoning for a while now too." He releases a breath, "and anyway, I'm pretty sure he made a bagel cause I told him you liked them. Never talking about you to him anymore though."

I look at him, "why do you talk about me so much to him anyway?"

"Uh because you're amazing," Mark says instinctively.

I feel my heart skip at that. I coo and place my hands on my chest, "wait that's really sweet."

Mark looks at me. His face begin to shift, "too bad it's a lie- haha."

I give him a look and rebut, "jerk."

"Loser."

As quickly as I found out about Jaehyun being Mark's friend, that's about as quickly as I found out he didn't like hanging out with him anymore. It's kind of a shame I never got to go back to his boojie house.

There was this one encounter I had with Jaehyun though... which was a little weird, not gonna lie.

He was waiting for me outside my Tailoring class, smiling and waving when he saw me. I Reluctantly reciprocated and walked over to him.

He releases a breath, "I've been waiting for about 20 minutes for you. I didn't know when your class would end."

I raise my brows, "you could have asked?"

"Well I would need your number for that, and that would have ruined the surprise," he pulled out a brown paper bag, reminiscing the same one Mark chucked at my face.

"I made you two this time," he smiles.

I take a moment to reply, "you don't have to make me bagels, Jaehyun."

He grabs my hand, "yeah, but I want something out of ya," he places the bagels in my hand. He proceeds to lead us off and we begin to walk down the hall.

Truth be told, it's a little scary that his ulterior motive is up in the air. Jaehyun places his hands in his pockets, "I like your dress, by the way."

I smile, "thanks. I made it."

He smiles and nods, "right. That makes sense as to why it suits you well."

I can't help but blush at that, and simultaneously feel conscious when I realize a bunch of girls in my course are looking at me and Jaehyun as we strut down the hall.

"So, what did you want, Jaehyun?"

"Well, I clearly wanted to ask you out."

"..."

"..."

Jaehyun smiles and give a soft laugh, "is it so ground breaking?"

"... Uh..."

He sniggers, "hey, you can say no. I mean I hope you don't but you can." Jaehyun leans in and raises his hands, "I won't like it, but a man should take rejection from a lady well."

I turn to him as he straightens up. I turn to the bagels he made me and bring it back to him. He laughs, "no, I made them for you really. It's not poisoned, in fact it's made with love."

I visibly react to that, which makes Jaehyun wheeze. I can't help but laugh back, "that was hella tacky."

"Worth a shot though," he says. "Good luck with Mark."

I look at him with silence and he chuckles, "ya, you can't fool me."

I'm about to retort but then Jaehyun gets called by one of the frats dudes I identify as Johnny Seo. Jaehyun does a curtsy and clicks his tongue, "see ya later babez."

"You know, I would have said yes if you didn't do stuff like that."

Jaehyun purses his lips, "no you wouldn't."

I shrug, "worth a shot though."

Jaehyun places a hand on his chest, dramatically calling, "Uh, rejection hurts, man."

Yeah, I never went to Jaehyun's boojie house ever again.

Silver lining though was Mark's dorm smelled equally as nice because of all the food he cooks, although it came with a whiff of axe body spray from his roommate, Lucas. It's cool though, he was almost never around for me to smell it in its whole intensity.

"Aite," Mark calls from his side of the dorm. I perk up from the two seater dining table they had and turn to Mark who was covering the cake he was making for his finals.

"Don't, like, peek, okay. I want you to see the cake all at once and give me your honest reaction to it. Please, like, all my lives kinda depend on it."

"How many lives do you have?"

"9, I'm pretty sure."

I stand from my seat, "not you faking your life as a cat, but get it I guess."

Mark raises a hand at me as I walk over, "can you not, I'm high-key panicking right now."

"Over what? You literally made a box of donuts for your midterms and it looked better than Misty Mreme! I'm sure your cake is hot."

"It was in the minifridge for a day. I mean it barely fit cause of all of Lucas' mountain dew."

I groan, "just show me it, Mark Lee!"

Mark whined and dashes over to me, grabbing my shoulders, "okay, but like, don't be mean about it. I swear, I might cry."

I give a sound and fake cough, "it's ugly."

Mark doesn't respond to that particular jab, "I'm serioussss. Please be kind, okay?"

I look at Mark's nervous face and give a soft pout, "Markie, please, not that I think it would be ugly, but I promise you don't have to be nervous about my reaction."

He isn't soothed by that, but he does release a sigh, "okay. So for context, Mr. Moon wanted the cake to be one or two tiers, but I went with one, cause there aint no way I'm going to the other side of the campus to freeze a two tiered cake. Then, the theme was something from your childhood, so, I, uh, thought this was fitting. The exam is 60 percent decoration, 40 percent taste by the way."

Mark gives me a hesitant look, but steps way for me to see it. I then see a heart shaped, medium sized cake in my favorite pastel pink color. By the top there's a little boy on the floor playing with a toy oven set and little girl in a bumble bee dress, holding a stethoscope. At the bottom of the cake, there were jelly letters spelling out, "I like you."

I cup my cheeks at the sight of it and feel my eyes start to well at the sentiment.

Wait... was this really happening?

Mark heaves in and out, "okay, so like when Jaehyun began to like hit on you, that sucked pretty hard because he's known for getting girls and I thought maybe he'd get you too and I got panicky. Anyway, I....... have liked you since we were kids... And... I know you probably don't feel the same way but I have to try, you know.... Yolo."

My feel my tears retract from what I hear. I rub my eyes. I turn to Mark and find his nervous face. "Did you just say yolo in your confession, Mark?"

He looks like he's about to throw up.

I can't help but chuckle and pout, "dude..."

I prolong the moment. Mark gets even more nervous as he repeats softly, "dude..."

"We could have dated in grade school all this time."

It takes a moment to register in his head.

Like, a really long moment.

I sigh, "Mark! I like you too, dummy."

He freezes and blinks. His face begins to burn. He breaks into a soft smile, "nice."

I break into a laugh.

"... Uh... So... Can I like... Kiss you?"

I snort and feel my own cheeks begin to burn, "I think you should refrigerate your cake first."

Mark snaps out of this trance, "oh shoot, you-" I give him a quick peck on the lips.

He is dumbfounded.

I feel butterflies go wild in my stomach.

"I'll wait over there for when you've fixed that."

Mark watches as I walk away, "yooo.... That's not fair though."

[cocosstories]

Bucky Barnes One Shot

hi can you make a bucky x pregnant reader where she gets kidnapped and than tortured and injected with the super soldier serum in front of bucky, you can imagine everything else, why she got kidnapped, by who, how is bucky gonna react, how is gonna end. can’t wait!

Yay so I have a request for Bucky. The reader is a medic for the avengers. Her and Bucky have been friends with benefits for more than a year now. Tony throws a party and one drink leads to another and they hooked up. Then she gets pregnant.

You had been recruited to join the Avengers after a chance encounter with Black Widow.

She had been injured pretty badly on a mission and you just happened to be near the scene and jumped into action, using your extensive medical knowledge to patch her up quickly while making sure neither of you got hit from the battle that was still happening.

When everything was said and done, Tony offered you a job as the Avengers official field medic and you jumped at the chance. 

You hit it off with the team almost immediately and soon it was like you had always been there. 

One particular Avenger you had become close to was Bucky. 

Many people had noticed the two of you shamelessly flirting and knew it was just a matter of time before thing escalated to more than friendship. 

One night you and Bucky were working out on opposite sides of the training room, both unable to keep your eyes off the other.

You caught a glimpse of the fire burning in his eyes and couldn't help yourself, you walked over and kissed him.

After the initial first kiss, he took control of the situation and this began your friends with benefits arrangement.

You had decided to keep it a secret from the team for the time being and Bucky fully agreed. 

It was a few months into your arrangement when Tony decided to throw a party after another successful mission. 

You spent most of the night with Natasha and Wanda who you had become very close with but felt Bucky's eyes on you the whole night. 

"I thought I would never get you alone, doll."

He says with slurred words as the two of you find yourself in his bedroom as the party dies down. 

"Well, here I am Sargent Barnes. What are you going to do?"

You ask, a smirk on your face.

With that, Bucky takes you to the bed and the two of you spend the night entangled together. 

Weeks later and you were on yet another mission feeling like death.

"Y/N, are you sure you're alright? You don't look so good."

Steve says, pointing out the green tint to your face coupled with the sweat on your brow.

"I'm fine. Just a bug or som-"

Before you can even finish your sentence, you lean over and vomit in the seat next to you, getting the attention of the rest of the team. 

"You are not alright. When we get back to the compound we are getting you checked out."

Natasha says, worry on her face. 

You reluctantly agree and true to her word, Nat immediately takes you to the compound infirmary once the jet lands. 

"Bucky, can we talk?"

It was a few hours later and you were finally feeling better.

You head down to Bucky's room and knock on the open door.

"Of course, doll. How are you feeling?"

He asks, getting up and walking over to you. 

"I'm alright. Dr. Cho gave me something for the nausea."

You reply with a small smile.

"Did she figure out why you were so sick?"

You nod. 

"Bucky, I'm pregnant."

His eyes go wide as he takes in your confession before a huge smile crosses his face. 

"We're having a baby?"

He asks quietly.

"Are you alright with that?"

Bucky reaches out for your hand.

"Doll, that is the best news I have ever heard."

Tears form in his eyes as he speaks and you realize that he never thought he would ever have a family again and your baby was a second chance for him.

"I love you, Y/N."

He finally admits the feeling s he had been hiding for so long, no longer having a reason to keep them to himself. 

"I love you too Bucky."

You say, matching tears form in your eyes just as he kisses you.

"I guess we have to tell everyone now, huh?"

He chuckles and you nod.

"Yeah, but I think everyone will be alright with it."

As you had expected, the team was extremely happy and excited for you and Bucky.

The weeks flew by and before you knew it, you were over halfway through your pregnancy.

You and Bucky were going strong and had even started talking about the possibility of marriage in the future. 

Life was good and you couldn't be happier. 

One day, the team was on a mission, leaving you alone in the compound.

Late afternoon and you were craving something that you could only get from the store and decide to head out for a nice walk to get it.

As you take in the scenery, everything suddenly goes black and you crumple to the ground.

You wake up hours later, strapped to a table with Hydra agents around you.

"Ah, you're awake. Good."

"What are you doing? Let me go!"

You try and fight the straps holding you down.

"Now, now, just relax. We don't want to hurt you but you are carrying a child of the Winter Soldier and that child belongs to us."

The agent lightly touches you stomach as he speaks.

"You are not going to take my baby! Bucky and the Avengers will find me and save us!"

You scream, trashing against the hold again.

Meanwhile at the compound, the team had come home to find you gone and Bucky went into immediate panic mode. 

Everyone went off in separate directions, looking for any sign as to what could have happened. 

"Mr. Stark, I found blood."

Vision calls over the coms.

"Is it hers?"

Bucky asks frantically.

"I have analyzed it and yes, it belongs to Y/N. It seems she was ambushed and taken."

The team meets back at the compound as Steve and Sam do their best to calm Bucky.

"She is hurt! What if the baby is hurt! What if they kill her? I can't lose them Steve!"

Bucky cries as everyone watches helplessly.

"Barnes, we will find her. We will bring her and your child home."

Tony says, placing a hand on Bucky's shoulder.

"It has to be Hydra. Who else would want a pregnant medic?"

Natasha says, doing her best to keep her own emotions in check.

"But why would they want her?"

Rhodey asks.

"Because she is carrying my child. The Winter Soldier's child."

Bucky replies, pure hatred in his eyes as everyone else realizes what he means. 

"Where do you think the would take her, Buck?"

"Where I was kept. Siberia."

Bucky gets up without another word and walks to the jet, the rest of the team following behind him.

The flight to Siberia was a quiet one, the whole team focused on getting to you as quickly as possible.

"Bucky, you need to keep your cool. Your only focus should be finding Y/N and getting her and your child put of there. Do you understand?"

Steve says just as the jet lands and Bucky nods. 

You are in and out of consciousness with what seems like dozens of needles going into your arm when Bucky finally finds you.

"Doll, oh god what the hell are they doing to you?"

He says as he begins carefully pulling the needles out of your arms.

"Bu-bucky?"

You breathe out, your vision blurred from the trauma. 

"Yeah, its me. I'm going to get you out of here. Just try and stay awake for me."

He says, breaking the straps holding you down and then helping you to your feet.

"Do you have her?"

Steve calls out.

"I've got her. She's barely conscious."

Bucky replies, picking you up and carrying you. 

He carefully gets you through the fighting Avengers and Hyrda agents and back to the jet. 

"What the hell did they do to her?"

Natasha asks once the team was back on the jet and you were headed home.

"I think they were trying to give her the serum. Or a version of it at least."

Bucky says.

"Trying? They didn't do it?"

"Looks like they didn't have time before we showed up."

As soon as the jet had landed, you were taken to the infirmary, every test possible performed to make sure you and the baby were both ok.

"They're alright?"

Bucky asks Dr. Cho when she comes to tell him he can see you.

"Both perfectly healthy. You saved them. You saved your family, Sargent Barnes."

She smiles and leaves him alone with you.

"Tell daddy thank you, baby girl."

You smile, taking Bucky's hand and placing it on your belly where your baby was kicking.

"Baby girl?"

He asks once he realizes what you had said.

"Yes, we are having a girl and she says thank you for saving her."

You nod, laughing a bit as the baby kicks under Bucky's hand.

"I will always do everything I possibly can to save you and protect you."

Bucky leans down and says to the baby, kissing your belly lightly before looking up to you.

"And you too."

He smiles and kisses you, so thankful to have both of his girls home and safe.

[love-hope-faith-feels-like-a-lie]

Another one for you! What are your five "go to" GG episodes you find the most rewatchable? They Shoot Gilmores and The Lorelais' First Day at Yale are definitely both on my list, but I'm still trying to pick just three more from the zillion other episodes I love :)

Thank you for this. I really appreciate it💕 Right off the bat I’m going to apologies for how long this is. I couldn’t keep it to just five episodes and I had a need to explain why these are my most rewatchable episodes.

1) Forgiveness and Stuff (1x10) I’m such a sucker for Luke being there for his girls. The way he gives Taylor, the guy he’s thrown a frying pan at because he’s annoying and he hates him, the keys to his establishment just shows how much he cares and knew Lorelai needed him. It makes me happy. Plus it’s where we get the classic blue hat. Lorelai saying Luke always looks good and Luke saying “I can’t imagine anyone seeing you as a disappointment.” Such cute moments in this episode.

2) Dead Uncles & Vegetables (2x17) Just as I love Luke being there for his girls, I equally love when Lorelai and Rory are there for him. Luke and Lorelai are a cute married couple in this episode (and pretty much all episodes really) and you can’t convince me otherwise. Also, don’t we all just love the way Rory makes Jess help out. It’s so funny seeing him just let her and we all know he’s loving it.

3) A Deep-Fried Korean Thanksgiving (3x09) If you don’t join in when everyone is chanting ‘Jackson,’ then you haven’t been watching this episode right. I love getting to watch the girls go through their Thanksgiving traditions, especially Lorelai and Luke’s. The Lane and Dave moments are cute! The girls eating with Luke and Jess is adorable and they all look like a cute happy family. I adore the fact that Lorelai takes food from Luke’s plate. I’m telling you these people have been married since day one. Plus it’s Jess and Rory’s first Thanksgiving together as a couple and ain’t that cute! I love drunk Sookie! She’s funny and I can’t help but say her lines with her.

4) A Tale of Poes and Fire (3x17) It’s super fun seeing Michel interacting with Miss Patty and Babette. Lorelai screaming ‘Stella’ for Luke to come to the window is always fun to watch. But the best part is Lorelai telling Luke about her dream and how they smile while discussing it. Lorelai not being about to tell Luke that they kissed in her dream because it hits too close to home brings out the feels. Oh and Rory’s going to Yale!

5) The Fundamental Things Apply (4x05) Luke and Lorelai’s first movie night. I love how Lorelai teases Luke about not having watched many movies and not knowing what the FBI warning is. It’s so fun to watch. I love how comfortable they both look while they sit and watch Casablanca. Luke helping Rory out with her awkward date is cute, and a little Dad moment which fuels my ‘Luke has always been a father figure to Rory’ feels. The best moment is when Luke is sleeping on their couch and Rory says, ‘He looks comfy there, doesn’t he?’ and Lorelai looks like she doesn’t want to think about how comfy Luke looks because she doesn’t want to admit how much she likes seeing him there. And I’m definitely reading way too into that look but it makes me happy so it counts. 

6) The Incredible Sinking Lorelais (4x14) The proud and happy smile on Lorelai’s face when she’s looking at the gum wrapper with the Dragonfly’s first reservation makes it worth watching this episode. She’s adorable and I’m so proud of her. Lorelai wearing her Bon Jovi hat and Luke commenting on it is fun. The best part about this episode has to be, as Lorelai puts it ‘the meltdown in the park’ moment. Lauren Graham is so good at emotional scenes (and pretty much everything this woman does) that it always hits me when Lorelai is breaking down. Of course I love the fact Luke instantly knows something is wrong when he sees her and he’s there to comfort and support her. 

7) Let Me Hear Your Balalaikas Ringing Out (6x8) Lorelai jonesing for her colours is super fun and cute. Colin and Finn are funny when they’re drunk. ‘I’ve forgotten how to get into a car,’ always cracks me up. Then he appears. The man of the hour. Yes, Jess Mariano. It’s nice to have Jess back for this episode. I alway forget how much I love his interactions with Rory until I watch them again. I’m super proud of all he’s done and seeing him come back, showing his book to Rory and telling her that he couldn’t have done it without her is such a beautiful moment. Probable one of my favorite between the two. And of course seeing Jess questioning Rory and being able to wake her up and make her realise that she’s not acting like herself is the best. All that said, the part which I just love is when Paul Anka gets sick and Lorelai is in Rory’s room watching him sleep. Once again Lauren is just incredible and makes my heart hurt at hearing Lorelai say she's a bad mother. Luke being there to comfort her is an added bonus, especially the way he touches her hair to comfort her. 

8) Santa’s Secret Stuff (7x11) I know what you’re thinking, how is a season 7 episode where Lorelai and Chris are still together on my most rewatchable list? Well let me tell you why. I love getting to hear about Lorelai and Rory’s Christmas traditions, such as how they put green and red M&M’s in their cereals on Christmas day (which I did last year and let me tell you it be yummy) and getting to see the girls go through those traditions is nice. Gigi isn’t my favorite character (honestly have no opinion on the kid) but she’s adorable when she copies Lorelai as she says ‘The redcoats are coming.’ The fact Lorelai doesn’t think twice about helping Luke with the character reference warms my heart to no end and is just super cute. Talking about cute, Luke and April! These cuties! Always love any Papa Luke moment. Luke being a Dad is so cute to watch and I love April (just hate what the writers did with her storyline in season 6 but that’s a rant for another day). Love that she’s 60% atheist and 40% agnostic. This girl is so quirky and I’m so here for it. What makes this episode one of my most rewatchable episodes is that scene between the girls and Luke and April when they’re all out shopping. This scene is amazing because it shows how much Luke cares for Rory. He’s always cared about her and throughout the years has always given her gifts for her birthday and holidays and maybe they weren’t the best gifts, but the love is what counts especially since Luke finds going out to buy presents such a daunting task. It just makes me happy seeing how much Rory means to him. What makes me love this scene is the smile and just the look on Lorelai’s face. If that look doesn’t show how much she loves and admires Luke then I clearly need new glass. (side note: I actually do need new glasses but that’s besides the point lol) 

9) I’d Rather Be In Philadelphia (7x13) This episode just really shows how great Luke is. The fact the moment he finds out about Richard being at the hospital he just had to go and see if everyone is okay, to see if Lorelai is okay is next level cute and just reminds me why Luke is always going to be the better man. Yes, he has issues and has dealt with somethings in ways that I just want to punch him so hard his hat starts spinning like Daffy Duck's beak, but he’s always there for his girls even when he’s not with Lorelai which just further shows how much he cares and is generally such a great guy. I love that Luke let’s Emily give him chores to do and that it kinda feels like he’s part of the family because he’s helping out, but then I remember he’s not and that hurts. I love that he comes back with food and a fish bag. He’s a cutie. Love that Lorelai is happy to see him. Logan is there for Rory which is nice to see. It’s interesting to see how everyone deals with Richard being in the hospital this time around compared to in Season 1, mostly Emily. All her moments especially when she has a little breakdown in front of Lorelai, and then her talk with Richard hurts to watch but in a really good way.

10) It’s Just Like Riding a Bike (7x19) Lorelai’s dress at the start of this episode is the only reason I rewatch this episode endlessly. Ah well that and some other things too, I guess but mostly the dress. When Lorelai calls Sookie, that whole scene I personally feel like it presents a parent having to deal with sick children so well. Sookie’s place being a mess, her sniffing what I’m hoping is milk from the kid’s bottle and using it for her coffee, and also picking a lollipop from the tablecloth is really how life looks like for a parent just in general, let alone when their kids are sick. So it’s refreshing seeing this being presented in a realistic way. Luke and Lorelai car shopping is awkward but I love every moment of it, especially when Luke starts ranting and then they starts bickering. The smile on Lorelai’s face. Lord take the wheel because my heart can’t deal with the cuteness. The smile screams ‘I have him back’ to me and I love how happy she is about that. Luke doing everything in his power to make Lorelai be able to have her old car is just sweet, and have I forgotten to mention that this guy is just the best? I love it. 

Okay, I’m finally done and the fact you’ve gotten to the end of this is amazing. It was hard to narrow it down to just these because there are a lot of episodes I love and rewatch often, like a bunch from season 4 and 5 but these just happen to be the ones I go to when wanting to rewatch an episode. It really only occured to me once I was done that I have no season 5 episodes on this list and more season 7 ones which I’m not even sure why that’s the case but it is. They Shoot Gilmores and The Lorelais' First Day at Yale is definitely episodes I watch often, especially because they both have cute moments: ‘Another kid might be nice’ and 'Rory says thanks for everything, too,’ are some. Thanks again for the ask, It was a fun distraction. 💕

[purplerose244]

My thoughts on Ninjago the Island!!! 🏝🏝🏝

So, gotta be honest... this is not a Blind reaction thing, I actually watched it in French first so I know most of the stuff already 😅 It's entertaining, it got great animation, but nothing more than that in my opinion 🤷‍♀️

Still there is stuff I liked or I want to point out, and finally I'm seeing the English version so I can actually understand what the HECK they are saying 🤩

Alright, nothing else to say, here we go!

UNCHARTED

I haven't actually seen anything Clutch Powers related before Ninjago, is he always like this? I love that he is a jerk honestly, just wondering 😂

Press F for respect for intern Dwaine (at least he seems to like being... used?)

Clutch: It's just a bunch of rocks! It's not alive!

Totem: I'm about to end this man's whole career

Wait, Misako is part of the explorers club? ... that would have come in handy in season 11 to get the scroll of Forbitten Spinjitzu from the club instead of begging uncle Powers for it... *sighs* I don't mind plot holes in Ninjago like most fans I think, but if you wanna make Misako relevant again at least pay attention to the details 😅

Wow, after the end of season 13 I would've thought Wu was going to go through a midlife crisis, not Misako 😂😂

Oww, everytime I hear I get 😢 Bless your soul Kirby, always in our hearts 🖤🖤🖤

Well hello Brian

Always nice to see you 😊

Twitchy Tim must have been pretty interesting to voice 🤔 I like him enough, he's fun and all, maybe not at the level of the characters we got last season

Okay, the place is called the STORM belt, there are LIGHTNINGS, and the sand of the beach is BLUE. Are we gonna address any of these similarities to our Bluebell here or not? 😅

Wait, Tim was giving a hot air balloon tour, does that mean other people where with him? What of them? Are they dead? Did he let them die on the island?... am I reading too much into this? Probably 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Alright, the part of the boats? SO COOL 🤩🤩 I literally can't say anything bad about the animation at this point

Why did they think leaving Kai, Jay and Cole on one boat was going to be a good idea 😂 Also Zane just randomly doing sick tricks on his vehicle, love that nindroid

I'm guessing Nya is keeping her water abilities for her season 🤷‍♀️

Yep, yep, this is why the creators try to keep Pixal out of the adventures, with her everything is way too cool and easy to access to 😎😎

Twitchy Tim: There are statues that become alive!!

Lloyd:... so it's a season 2 stone army ripoff, we've seen worse

It's a cute episode overall 👍

THE KEEPERS OF THE AMULET

OKAY THE INTRO IS SO FREAKING COOL 🤩🤩🤩🤩

So Twitchy Tim has temporarily taken over Jay's role of spazzing out and complain about worse case scenarios... in another occasion they might have bonded over this, maybe 😂

Okay, survival position? MOOD

Nya: DRAGOOON 😱

Me: DRAGOOOOOOON 😍😍😍

Why am I not surprised that Jay was the one that named him Zippy? 💙 Also HE'S SO CUTE 💕💕💕 Love how in every adventure, we always get very different types of dragon in this show 👌 I'm a simple person, I see a dragon... 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩

Oh-oh, it's the "Lloyd's done with this crap"'s face

This means serious business... am I that used to LEGO characters that this way of crossing arms on the chest looks almost normal to me? 😅

Soooo, Master of the Mountain clearly gave Cole too much development... because now he got demoted to "the one who is always hungry" 🤦‍♀️ I'm all for Cole's endearing love for cakes, which is super relatable, but if you're gonna push it on his fun side, at least be coherent 🙃

Is it just me or it feels like the writing of this special was made by someone different from the one of season 13? Like, it's not bad, just less engaging and witty. For now. Maybe I'm being premature 🤷‍♀️

New way of nerfing powers, we got... weird, sucking power totem thingies... OKAY

My gosh I really can't say anything about the animation, look at that! It's all cinematic with such a light! YES!! 🤩

I'M SORRY

WHY ARE WE LOOKING OVER THIS??? IT LOOKS LIKE COLE'S LAVA PUNCHES BUT THEY ARE JAY LIGHTNING FEET??? IT'S A GREAT IDEA AND I WOULD LOVE TO SEE IT AGAIN??? WHY ARE WE IGNORING THIS??? 💙💙💙💙

So they at least addressed that lightning isn't a Jay's thing only anymore 😅

Alright, Jay having a mental breakdown because of a bridge because it always breaks, that's the Bluebell I know and love 😂😂 Nya telling him to keep moving was cute too 💙❤💙❤

Okay, I'm sorry but this really bothers me, what kind of lightning can instantly knock out the MASTER OF LIGHTNING??? Like, my gosh, really??? I hope they give us an explanation, like it's some sort of special lightning, because this really doesn't sit right with me. Jay is lightning proof, we've seen it in Skybound, we've seen it in Sons of Garmadon, I DON'T BELIEVE HE WOULD JUST BE KNOCKED OUT LIKE THAT 😡😡😡

Soooooo, storm amulet? Being one with the lightning? Is that the reason why Jay got to be the sacrifice? 😅

THE GIFT OF JAY

Alright, I am kinda looking forward for this one, what did Bluebell actually say or do to get him into trouble this time 😂😂

Oh, he just... introduced himself... well that was underwhelming

SENSEI👏YOU👏ARE👏A👏FREAKING👏GOD👏STOP👏GETTING👏KIDNAPPED👏BY👏RANDOM👏VILLAINS👏

Bring ooooon Lloyd Grills 💪

Okay I did like the little speech, definitely resonates with how Lloyd survived this long even though everything wanted him to give up, even his father... I'M NOT CRYING YOU'RE CRYING 😭

Jay out there making the real questions 😂

Awwww Edna used to call him gift of Jay? I can totally see it, so cute 💙💙 Makes even more sense if Libber actually left Jay at the Walkers' door...

Pff, Jay made the connection I would've done honestly 🤷‍♀️ Like, him being the master of lightning really didn't give these dudes any impression or inspiration? Any cool idea, full Road of El Dorado style? 🙃🙃

Lloyd out there abusing of the animation budget 💚💚💚

Somehow these ninja never actual sneak in, it's always a huge mess everyone knows about beforehand 😂 It's familiar though, I'm used to it and happy with it 👍

I might not be the biggest Misako fan, but you know what I am a fan of?

LEGO HUGS 😍😍😍😍😍

Dang it uncle Powers, you just got here to make a mess did you 😅

Not the first person of the fandom to say this, but Jay looks absolutely lovely with that flower crown 🌺🌺🌺

Oh poor greenie

Lloyd just has the worst luck 😓

Jay: Why would I be the gift?

Kai: Yeah who would want Jay?

Nya: Huh, me?? 😡

Got some very good Jaya for this little special, can't complain 💙❤💙❤

I mean, not matter how big of a snake Wojira might turn out to be, we've already seen the biggest and the second biggest snake of all so 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Whoa, at last... IT WAS THE FIRST SPINJITZU MASTER THAT HAD SOMETHING HE SHOULD'VE TOLD WU A LONG TIME AGO!! 😱 Wu, you got pulled a Wu, how does it feel? 😂

Again, Jay freaking out, kinda my jam it's too funny 💙💙

Wow Kai way to be hominous offscreen 👏👏 I miss talking about my flame babe, this really isn't his time 🤷‍♀️

THE TOOTH OF WOJIRA

So when I first watched this I was genuinely, really excited about knowing the truth behind all this. It turned out very different from what I first thought, but at least in this case it's okay (besides I was pushing with the lightning meaning just to see Libber again 😅😅😅)

I feel like the guys get their powers stolen or blocked so much it takes them a minute to remember "Oh wait I can literally burn my way out" 🤷‍♀️

SPINJITZU YAY 🤩

I... forgot that Misako knows how to fight 😅 She knows how to do spinjitzu too if I remember correctly...

NYA BEING LIKE "OUT OF THE WAY IMMA SAVE MY BOYFRIEND AGAIN" ❤💙❤💙

Gotta love how they were all crazy worried about Jay, like, this is something that never changes through the show. They really care so so much for each other 💕💕💕

Ooohhhh, okay, so Wojira does seem to be the main villain of next season according to the story. I remember Tommy saying that we needed to have faith and this is probably why. The special was okay, nothing too much, and hopefully that too much we will see in Nya's season 😍😍😍

What the- pff, I didn't notice this the first time 😂

At this point I can't tell if that one short with the chicken of the movie carried a hate or a love for chickens in the actual show 😂😂

Nice to see Jay standing up for himself at least for a little while 💪 Also Lloyd being "He's our trouble", aww family 💜

THERE IT IS

MY BRUISE HEART IS SOARING 🖤💙🖤💙

Gotta give props to the voice actors, voicing an explanation while fighting must be pretty hard! WE ARE BLESSED WITH AN AMAZING CAST!!! 🤩🤩🤩

And there he is, our favorite jerk... shaved Ronin 😂 He does look a little weird, but it's fair, new animation and all. Not the weirdest until now 🤷‍♀️

I genuinely had to make a mental check to see where we are with Ronin now, like, he started as a villain, then a partner, he betrayed us, became an ally, he hunted the ninja, then joined them, that timeline was erased, he was around in SoG and... wow this man is chaotic 😂😂

Yaaaay, Twitchy's last minute redemption act! Lloyd is too good at motivational speeches 👏👏

A bit of Lava OTP/BrOTP

Cause it's good for the heart ❤🖤❤🖤

Okay, Scooby doo reference, why not? Also honestly, I'm confident Ronin has seen A LOT of jails and prisons... probably won't stay behind bars for long 😅

Mammatus: sorry for imprisoning you and almost killing your friend

Kai: no biggie, that's how we make friends in this show

Alright the "And Clutch Powers" gag made me chuckle 😂 ... wait where is he- DANG IT UNCLE POWERS

Okay, this is the last time I say it I promise, but I mean. I MEAN

THE ANIMATION GUYS 😍😍😍

Aaaaand sensei you jinxed it 😅 But you apparently awakened Nya's season so I'm gonna forgive you on this one 😉

FINAL THOUGHTS

There are a few little details that bothered me a little, and it wasn't as exciting as I maybe hoped it was going to be, but it was fine. Enjoyable still. These characters make me like the show, even when it got nothing too impactful 🤷‍♀️

But I got triggered about that lightning thing with Jay 😅 I guess I'll just fanfic whatever I had in mind...

Don't have to repeat myself about the animation *chef's kiss*

The writing was really less engaging, a little normal in a way? Idk just a feeling. Nice to see Ronin again though, I really like him. And nice to see Jay freaking out, I really like that too 😂

To be honest I wanted to put down my thoughts on this one because I REALLY wanna do the same with Nya's season 🤩🤩 I already know that Maya is gonna be there and I am so HAPPY already!!! 💙💙💙

So that's it from me! Thank you for reading me ranting, see you next season! 😊

[kyunsies]

madch madch <3 hello love!

how are you my love :D YAY I'M SO HAPPY YOUR COLD IS GONE OMG!! Do you feel properly better now? the sleep nose cloggs is the worst, i'm super glad it's gone for you.

YES for a whole month - like it makes me miss summer holidays when i was a kid and you could take the time off like that. do you ever feel like you didn't appreciate that stuff like when you were a kid? like being able to have long sleeps and stuff or just running about the mall with no consequence? we really do have the same situation going on! i just want to be able to buy my mum a better house and a better car and nicer holidays and stuff? like that small stuff which sounds a bit boring but like, idk that means more to me than the overly flashy stuff? like i'd love to be a mum one day but seeing how much my mum does sometimes i'm like... IDK if I could hack it you know?

ah wow ok! my school i really get what you say about catholic guilt as it's super similar from my cultural influences as well? YES like, it's bad to think too well of yourself, or just that you shouldn't do it? or you're gonna end up inviting bad things if you do think too much of yourself? i get really confused about it sometimes. like - almost like there's a difference between self love and thinking too well of yourself? and i can appreciate myself without ever thinking i'm too good at something etc? does that make sense? idk i'm worried about self love it if means it makes my ego bad and over arrogant and all that stuff? I GET YOU tho - it is that line between contentment and like feeling yourself to the point it's ... ick? it's hard isn't it?

THAT FACT STEALING TOILET PAPER WAS YOU USING BAD LANGUAGE omg do you see what i mean you are just so so so so pure of heart and sweet and thank you for being so kind <3 are you looking forward to going back to uni in some ways? or is it all general *internal screaming*? remember you're mega and amazing <3

omg we literally had a HUGE HEARTWAVE to the point where I have so many bites everywhere - i'm glad you've had a bunch of sun but YAY TINY TINY SQUAD!!!!!!! I AM 5'1" so yay to us being tiny together <3 I am always the tiny one too! i used to hate it but i like my height more now - and like the fact i can fit into kids stuff on sale? or like shoe sizes not being a problem? but then sometimes the sizing is a bit weird like you said before! YOU GET IT WITH THE BF JEANS. It is a neverending quest RN. I've figured out the size I can really get for them but so few stores make it :/ we will see how this saga unfolds. do you lampshade a lot with clothes? i find i always end up doing that even if i don't mean to haha XD

OKAY SO JO MALONE I like the smell of pomegrante noir but IDK if I'd wear it but the lime and basil is another fave of mine. I just really really don't like musky smells I'm with you with the citrus! like, stuff that reminds me of summer and fresh stuff? musk makes me feel like i'm walking into like a noughties teen clothing store i just can't hasjdakshd. like i hate lynx smells? WHY DO BOYS WEAR IT?

AHHHH OMG ok mutual blue moon love YES HELLO <3 <3 <3 I ADORE lofi jazz garage I honestly die/simp for that sound. like they dabbled a bit more with those vibes in OOAK and that's why I loved the new album so much I guess? just so so so beautiful. i just wanna drown in like the sounds of moonlight and suggestions of other things by candlelight or long city drives? does that make sense? ugh LOVE IT. getting up in my feels here hahahajsdkhasda

YAY HI TO YOUR MOM <3 I hope she's having a beautiful beautiful day too and that's getting rest as well! never worry about getting back to me late, I know you're so busy and that's always okay, love you lots and lots <3 <3 <3

-💥xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

MY BEST PAL <33 hello my sweet, how have u been doing these days? i know i must sound like a record on repeat, but i miss you all the days that i don't hear from you, i'm always thinking about how you are doing ;____;

but YES after like ,,,,,,2 and a half weeks of being sick with the cold i am FINALLY over it :') it's not so much the stuffy nose during the daytime that annoys me it was the freaking clogged nose at night for the love of GOD i hate breathing with my mouth open it's so gross ;___; and sore throats ......... honestly i wouldn't wish a sore throat on my worst enemy lol like i'd rather have the flu for 2 days than a sore throat for a whole week ldkfjsdkf i'm such a baby <3

about being on holiday as a kid LOL IT WAS !!!!! the absolute best time !!! i know at some point we need to be functioning human beings in society lol but honestly at the age of like 13 where ur too young to work but u can't drive yourself anywhere ?? it's the best time (besides the driving part lol) bc you literally do not have one ounce of responsibility it's so great ;____; it's good to work and help ppl but i miss that too ....... and about our experiences with our single moms !!! pls this is all i want for her lol ; like u said nothing overly flashy but once i'm established i would like for her to live comfortably without being at the hands of someone else so i wouldn't mind like buying her a nice apartment ;____; when she was younger she traveled all the time and once i was born she coudn't do that with me bc she simply didn't have the money so she's always telling me after i graduate we should take a little trip to europe or go out west :( i think that would be so great :(((

OH GOOD OLD CATHOLIC GUILT LOL listen ..... there are a lot of things that the catholic church has done in the past that i don't agree with at all and stuff but ;____; i'm still grateful in some aspects bc my moral compass is like . a super big part of my life and it guides me to lead me away from decisions that aren't the best for me lol and i'm really grateful again for my mom for sending me to catholic school all these years :') and i think it's good to have this sense of humbleness (i hate ppl that are so boastful about themselves like truly no one cares sdjfslkf) but i do agree that catholic guilt can sometimes be a hinderance like i keep on saying i wish i had at least one ounce of self dignity SDLKFJ idk like u said it's a fine line between being humble and having no self worth :') i guess at the end of the day u need ppl surrounding u who make u feel like u are worth something and that it's okay to think positively about urself <3

honestly babe no ,,,,,, i'm not looking forward to going back to my final year of uni at all ;____; i don't know when i got like this but nursing school has literally scarred me to the point where i'm so anxious to even finish this year :( the ICU, my preceptorship, exams, finding and landing a job successfully before i graduate ???? i want it to all be over with so quickly but i'm so nervous for the future ahead of me ;____; will i get to where i am meant to be ???? i'm going to sOB IM NOT READY FSKDJFDS .............................

YAY TINY SQUAD LOL SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS !!!!!!! everyone on here is like boo hoo i'm 5'3 and im like ?????? ur inching near normal height shut up ?? SDKFJ :') truly shopping is so hard literally u can kill pants every fitting u perfectly unless u hem them and omg ??? pls explain to me what lampshading is LOL I HAVE NEVER HEARD THAT TERM BEFORE ?? :o !!!!!!!!! but also yes almost all of my sneakers are kids shoes LOL JOKES ON TALL PPL WE CAN GET THEM FOR CHEAPER <3

and about jo malone !!!!!!!!!!! the lime and basil one i've had my eye on it omg !!!!!!! bc i love love the smell of basil :) i'm actually visiting my grandparents this weekend and we are going to the mall so i'm going to finally pick up a new scent !!! i've literally had the one i told u about for 2 years LOL but i also agree everyone loves musky scents for some reason but i don't lsdkfjs i feel like those heavy scents "weigh me down" ????? do u feel that way too? it's hard to explain :')

ALSO OMG OKAY you are my blue moon ride or die now <3 have never met a mbb yet who loves blue moon as much as i do LOL it's just *mwah* perfection ........... absolute perfection like it fits all moods its fresh its lowkey it's perfect and YES YES i felt heaven kinda had the same vibe ??? not so much the dark garage jazz sound but more of the light and airy garage jazz sound LKDFJS i know that sounds dumb but it's lighter and happier but has that same lofi sound i'm obsessed with <3

okay bubbie but YEAH mom and i are healthy now we are in good spirits and we are hanging in there !! again i'm sorry for getting back so late hun really i always want to respond right away but like i always say quality over any short answer hhhh <3 i hope u have a lovely rest of the week if i don't hear from u soon okay? always sending love and hugs xxxxxxxxx !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

i am very much enjoying my vague void! it's currently blasting hozier at full volume and that's almost louder than my internal screaming (don't worry, everything is fine, i just saw a spider)

i've never once in my life have followed a recipe correctly. all of my measurements are completely random and whatever happens happens. it is no longer in my hands. whatever eldritch entities exist take the wheel. and i absolutely refuse to spell anything in english without autocorrect because y'all have way too many double letters and random vowel placement

thank you! sadly, i won't have a break right now, because we just had christmas vacations, but the start of the new semester is always pretty chill. and you're absolutely right, i should take up necromancy! the snow and the cold will add to my mysterious vibes. i just need to get a big black cape with a hood to complete the aesthetic

i definitely picture everything above 5'6 feet as the same height. 5'7 and 6'2? the exact same thing. no difference here

how is morepork a real bird name. it's just... more pork? but the bird is magnificent. i completely approve of your first order as bird queen, not that you need approval from mere peasants like me, but it's a great order. ohhh salps look really cool, and it does look a lot like it! when you said boob implant i thought of mermaids and them using salps as boob implants but then i realised wait wouldn't jellyfish be better for that? because of their shape? ignoring their little leggies they're quite boob shaped, no? and then i realised that i was thinking about mermaids and alive boob implants... if i had to think it, you have to read it. i'm sorry

i was sold before but now i'm even more sure that i want to hire you. and I'll make sure to have lactose free cheese for the backflips (unless you want the lactose version? i'm not judging). will the biting of ankles cost extra?

that sounds like a brilliant set-up for a horror movie where they kill off all the children one by one. it's absolutely horrifying. if something like that would've happened to me i would've most likely just passed out. whatever happens afterwards is not my problem. and now i really don't want to know what the hell your leg was caught on because that seems like knowledge that would get me killed

ah so you're a fellow dirt eater? according to my mom my favourite thing to do outside when i was a little kid used to be eating sand. just shovelling handfuls of it into my mouth and crying when my mom made me spit it out. which i refuse to believe. if there are no photos it didn't happen

you warm climate people are starting to make me think that i'm better adjusted to the cold than i thought i am! it's either that or our buildings are better heated. i definitely don't know if anyone else calls hot water bottled hotties but i like it so from now on i'm using it

that's so cute! i was clearly a way more selfish child because when i found any amount of money i just kept it and bought candy as soon as i could. i clearly couldn't save money then and i can't now. we have stores like that (or i'm assuming that they're like that solely based on how they sell lollies) and they used to be my favourite thing because you could get so many lollies for such a small price!! and my mom even used to let me order for myself sometimes so i always felt like a very big girl jsjshsbsjk

also the fact that i can't send pictures on anon is a crime (yes i know why and it's good that that's not possible because can you imagine anons being able to send pictures? oh no is all i have to say about it) but anyways. because i have this one super cursed photo that reminded me of you and now i can't share it :((

duuuuude, sick void bro. sounds like a vibing void. I feel like I haven’t seen a spider in awhile. Other than daddy long legs. But they’re chill. They mind their own business. 

I nearly always follow recipes exactly. My mum is like oh cook this for about 7 minutes? Yeah sure. I’ll take a wild guess. I’m like they say exactly 7 minutes so I’ll set a timer for 7 minutes and start a stopwatch so if it does seem to need more than 7 I can keep an eye on the extra time and be aware of exactly how long it takes me for next time. Other people are like oh let's see I have [lists 5-10 things in their fridge], hmm...oh I know what I could make with that! I’m like I have beans in my freezer because one recipe required them and no other recipes I know how to make do so what am I supposed to do with these now,,, this is stressful,,, basically I barely know how to cook and recipes are the only things saving me in that area. That is entirely fair. Except for the fuck duck, and murder is not the word you want surely, situations, it’s pretty helpful.

Ohhh I see. At least the start is chill! For a little! Before your entire situation spirals out of hand and you’re behind in every class and it’s taken you a whole day to read 10 pages and you’re exhausted and it’s only week 2. Just me? ok. fair. anyway. I want a cloak so bad. One of my uni friends tempted me to class because she said she was wearing a cloak so my depressed ass honest to god dragged myself out of bed and to said class just to see it. It was worth it. They’re incredible. Everyone should own a big cloak for the aesthetic.

I’m glad it isn’t just me hahaha. I can visualise my own height in feet but everything else is just the same size that is a vague amount taller than me, mentally.

It’s also known as the ruru. But the name morepork amuses me. It’s named after the call it makes haha. It does sound like it’s asking for more pork if you know to listen for that. thank u for ur approval, it means a lot, turns out becoming bird queen didn’t ACTUALLY get rid of my anxiety disorder weirdly enough so validation is great! lmaooo. What if the jellyfish stung them tho? At least salps wouldn’t do you dirty like that. The mermaids would just look like there are hundreds of bugs crawling around in their boobs, flesh shifting as they float around. Which is a vibe. If you’re into that. Jellyfish WOULD make a more solid, single, implant, some of them are definitely boob shaped. But that’s kinda boring no one’s gonna be traumatised by that. Salps on the other hand...yeah, that sight will DEFINITELY traumatise someone.

To be PERFECTLY honest I haven’t done a backflip in years but for lactose-free cheese? Dude. I’ll be going back to training. Gonna be the best backflip you’ve ever seen. As long as it’s not Tasty cheese I am content, but lactose free IS better. The biting of ankles will not cost extra, it is a pleasure to be allowed to do that.

Oh it absolutely would be. It’d be very funny if it reached the wider world bc people would probably be like ok but who would send kids into the bush like that,, it’s an odd concept. meanwhile everyone who grew up in nz is gonna be like y’all, you’re not gonna fuckin BELIEVE what i experienced growing up, it’s real dude. On one hand, I feel like murdering kids in a movie is questionable, on the other hand, It exists, so maybe people would be down for it. I feel like it’d be a good concept even if it wasn’t murdery tho. Like psychological horror? I’m not sure if I’m using that category correctly I don’t watch much horror. A kid following the rope but then being shifted into a different horror dimension but they never take the blindfold off because their teachers said not to and they’d probably have to let go of the rope to do it...I feel like this could work super well as a short film. The viewers see everything. The child just knows something is off and no one is coming when they call for help. I am so down for this. I also do not want to know what my leg was caught on. Some things I am better off not knowing.

yes! I am a fellow dirt eater! We had a sandpit at home (that’s a little bold. It was a large plastic shell that my parents filled with sand. technically a sandpit. but not fancy sdflsdkfsdf) but I don’t think I ever tried to eat it. Then again, I possibly did and just don’t remember because there’s no photo evidence of that one. I’d have to ask my parents sdfhsjdfs, I would however fully believe them if they said yes. it’s very characteristic of me. I don’t doubt it for a second. muuuum that’s my emotional support sand don’t make me spit it out smh the disrespect these days.

Oh I’m absolutely terrible even by most people’s standards around here when it comes to cold and hot temperatures. I remember sitting in the sun in my school shirt and school jersey in summer on a blazing day like it’s a bit chilly, isn’t it? Meanwhile my friends were in the shade absolutely dying from the heat. Likewise in winter I’d be shivering, teeth chattering, dying with my long sleeve thermal, my school shirt, my school jersey, my school jacket, my longs, warm socks and sneakers and gloves and school scarf while ppl would be walking around in a shirt and shorts like it’s a bit warm this winter huh? my body didn’t learn how to thermoregulate and it shows. But yeah NZ does also have a reputation for shittily insulated buildings and such. It shows. skhdfsfs if it’s not common use maybe don’t say can i have a hotty to someone without context but otherwise go ahead lmao. it’s a fun shortened version.

I was typically a very good saver, to the point where my extended family started gifting me gift cards and vouchers for Christmas and my birthday because if they just gave me money I’d put it in my bank account to save towards uni once I hit like, 12 years old. Which I think was a smart move. But apparently, I’m supposed to buy myself ‘something nice’ with it. I think I’m still an okay saver but I’m not as strict anymore. I’m aware of how much I can spare and I’m not just like you can never get anything for yourself ever, so I do get lil things for myself sometimes. oooo yay! At least you know what I mean. But yes. They were the gold mine for lollies. Absolutely terrific stores. My mum would be like hey lindsey how about you order? And I’d be like mother, I am 7 years old and I have an undiagnosed anxiety disorder everyone assumes is child shyness why would you think I would want to do that. Instead I will whisper my choices to you. After therapy tho I felt pretty rad for picking my own lollies by myself. I was like 13 at that point but sdfkjhsdf listen I got there in the end.

sdfkjsdfkjhsdf I like that a cursed photo reminded you of me. That’s all I need to hear. Tumblr said no anon dick pics but they also said no anon cursed photos either,,, very sad. for the latter part. the first part thank god. If I could turn on photos on anon I absolutely would just to see this but I don’t think I can :(

[lost-eternity]

Match Up Requests: CLOSED.

Please read the rules before requesting

Match up for: @melancholicbutbeautiful

Okie dokie! I match you with....

The 9th doctor!

I know. This isn't everyone's favourite Doctor. He isnt as cute as the 10th or as puppy-man incarnate as the 11th but hear me out. I think he needs you.

Let's start simple, shall we?

He absolutely adores your height.

Standing at an impressive 182cm (6 feet), the 9th would be all over you. He's got a good 18 cm on you. Fully expect him to be "accidentally" leaning on your head and cracking short jokes at the most inappropriate times.

You're running from Daleks (it's an occupational hazard)? He'd say something along the lines of "hahah! I'm suprised they can even see you down there!" Cue and unamused glare from you. It's like.... we're trying not to die here and NOW you are making a short joke? Seriously?

~

You both probably meet at a museum. One of those quirky wax museums. Life-like historical figures expertly sculpted in wax, their empty eyes somehow full with false life. It combines both your passion for history and art, enabling you to walk up close to these esteemed figures who shaped our society.

But you can't focus on the wax creations, nor the historical excerpts that come with them. Instead, you keep getting this unnerving feeling like your being watched. When you turn around, you catch this one guy staring at you. So you look back at him like ???. And instead of quickly looking away like a NORMAL person would he just continues to stare.

So now things are awkward and your kinda tempted to reach for your keys. You know. Just in case.

And that is when you feel someone grabbing you from behind. Weirdly cold hands wrap around your arm, constricting you in a white-knuckle grip. Spikes of numbness shoot up your arm as the blood circulation is cut off to your hand.

You whirl around to face your attacker and are like ???. Why the HELL is Bob Ross attacking you? Like. What?

That was when the fire alarm began to go off.

Before you could react much, someone full on BEHEADED Bob Ross. He immediately releases you and promptly walks himself into a wall. The now headless wax Bob Ross backs up, then moves forward again. Then hits the wall. Rinse and repeat.

The guy who was staring at you earlier, now clutching the ironically red fire axe. Guess you now know who pulled the alarm.

The expression on this guy is borderline mianical as he Cheshire grinned at you. "Hi! What's your name?"

"Uh... y/n..."

"Nice to meet you, y/n, I am the Doctor. Now. Run!"

He grabs your hand and you charge for the exit, herding everyone else out of the museum as more and more wax figures come to life.

Springing into animation, they kinda slowly amble after you. It's not exactly efficient but it is pretty damn threatening.

This moment lead you into a series of events that eventually concluded in you both accidentally almost blowing up Big Ben to stop and alien hive mind from taking over Earth.... whoops. Not that it mattered to much. Because despite the terror and confusion that seemed to now be perpetually stricken in your mind, you had the time of your life.

But despite your pestering and begging, the Doctor adamantly refused to allow you to tag along on his next adventure. He wouldn't explain why. Instead he just dropped you off at your house, swearing to wipe your memory if you spoke a word of this to anyone.

Of course, you called him out on it, asking him if you could meet the "Men in Black" later.

He wasnt amused by your jab, saying that you reminded him of someone who we couldn't afford to lose again... and then promptly vanished after that

At first you thought you would never see him again. That he was just a phantom that emerged in your life, a chance crossing that never should have been. The moment your life was touched by something bigger... greater than the mundane reality you have been so long trapped it.

It was intoxicating. Addicting.

But as fate would have it, you did meet again. Except this time you weren't saving him from a domineering alien race, or robotic tin cans that sewed a path of destruction. No. You were saving him from himself.

~

Cut off from his own kind, the 9th Doctor was a damaged man, disparagingly grieving over the intense suffering he had witnessed; the destruction he had inflicted on his people as the result of his own actions.

He tore himself up, berated himself. Told himself that he did not deserve to be alive. After all, he was a monster in human skin. Because only a monster could cause the pain he had

The doctor struggled with the idea of isolation, he was the last of the Time Lords, having left the conflict with the excruciating knowledge of his hand in its apparent grisly conclusion and he would react strongly if pushed on the matter.

And for whatever reason, he came to you. You found him delirious and beaten down on your porch step, rambling, hardly making sense of himself and... glowing a little? Wtf?

You took him in, and only did not call for emergency care at his persistence and mumbled pleading. After doing the rather peculiar things he instructed and gave him a few questionable concoctions, the glowing stopped and he checked out.

You were up all night worrying yourself sick over this man. This stranger that you hardly even knew. I guess it is just the kind of person you are.

You were there when he awoke in the morning, calling out for you. At least you think it was you because he never said your name. Instead called for a "Rose". You weren't sure if this "rose" was a person or another wacky demand on his part.

You never did find out exactly what happened to him. From what he would say, he had an encounter with an alien species that really kicked his ass. Although you thought there was something more to it than that. Some more emotional undertones and reconciliation. You also did not understand why he came to you. You hardly knew each other. There was definitely something he was not telling you.

Whenever you asked who Rose was, he merely dismissed you or cracked a joke about your height. If you continued to press the matter, he would quickly get very snappy and drop his energized, maniacal façade.

It was after this moment that the Doctor agreed to allow you on the TARDIS with him. And you officially became his traveling companion. However. It was never all sunshine and rainbows. Although it was a rare occurrence, the Doctor would occasionally slip up and call you "Rose" again. He would always act like nothing happened and deny it if you brought it up. It was clear that this Rose person had a major impact on his life so... what happened to her?

~

So. I think you would be wonderful with the 9th Doctor because of your empathy and compassion. You unconditional understanding and empathic nature would definitely be unnerving for the Doctor at first. He feels like he does not deserve a person like you in his life. You are too good and pure. He fears that he will hurt you. So he pushes you away like he always does.

And this is why he needs you. I beleive that you would not stop pursuing him. Healing him. Your compassion and life would be what slowly seals up the wounds of his past and his own self-inflicted hatred.

He will finally be able to see his own worth because of you. And that was the primary reason I had for matching the 9th doctor with you. He is the one who needs someone like you the most.

Also. While you are genuinely empathic and loving, you will not allow yourself to be walked over. As you two grow closer, the 9th doctor will greatly appreciate your quips and sarcasm as it mirrors his own. You wont always be lost and confused like most of his companions end up being. Instead, you manage to keep pace with him. It's refreshing for him, honestly. And he will enjoy the playful banter exchanged between the two of you.

Also your dreams to travel align perfectly with the Doctor's noncommittal wanderlust shared by every single one of his incarnates. Your appreciation for other cultures and ways of life is something he can deeply relate to and will have a blast showing you more subtle cultures that may have otherwise bored his previous traveling companions.

~

Actually, as you two travel the universe together, you slowly grow closer and closer. The doctor begins to develop a kind of dependency on you. Because he only ever feels worthy of this love when he is around you.

Isolation really messes with his psyche. He can't handle being alone with his own thoughts. They constantly remind him of the pain he had caused, jeering and taunting him. They tell him that he will just run away from you. Like he always does.

He probably will try.

Don't think he will get far.

As he opens up to you, he finally tells you about Rose. Who she was. What she meant to him (I'm making this an AU where Rose died somewhere along the way).

And the realization is painful.

You dont just REMIND him of Rose. He is PRETENDING that you are Rose. Because for him that is much easier than coming to terms with her death.

I mean. Can you blame him? You look so much like her. Even down to your height.

All of those height jokes were made because of the way he used to tease Rose.

Your hair, your eyes, even your personality is a painful reminder of her. Which is why is tried to abandon you the first time. It is also why he showed up at your house when he got hurt.

He was running on empty and just instinctually went to the place he knew he would be the safest. At your house. With the person he sees as Rose Tyler.

Honestly it's not psychologically healthy.

So now you have a choice.

Do you want to remain with the guy who is clearly still hung up over his ex? Going so far as to convince himself that you ARE Rose? Or do you think you can work with him. Help him. Heal him and allow him to reconcile with not only her death, but the deaths of his own kind.

I guess that decision is up to you...

Aaand, I am done! Whew. Sorry that one ended on such a downer. Haha. But most of the Doctors are psychologically traumatized and their coping mechanisms are super unhealthy. I would feel like I am betraying his character if I did not find some way to portray that. Anyways. I hope you enjoyed 😁. I had fun writing it.

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Amelia

Jac: So, you got your room 🙌 What other wins did freshers bring you? 😄 Amelia: Yeah, thank god Amelia: it's been full on enough without adding travel sickness Jac: Never going to fly when class starts either Jac: it's just slightly more inventive than coming down with the 'flu' every Monday morning, but not enough Amelia: bit intense to start crashing on my new friends floors too, I don't want to be THAT gay Jac: 😂 Jac: I doubt they'd mind Jac: but having a base that isn't totally covered in crochet decor is a plus Amelia: now that freshers is over and they're going to 🤞 they never see those hook ups again maybe Amelia: still, not the first impression I'm trying to make Jac: Oh God, tell me about it Jac: I am not trying to have people I've got to avoid for the next 7 odd years Jac: not trying to make it like home like that Amelia: very relatable Amelia: even though I have no need to count that high Jac: Is your course 3? or 4? Amelia: depends if I want to go to Canada, Denmark, Italy, Poland, Sweden, USA or the UK for a year Jac: Oh wow Jac: 🦪 Amelia: that emoji is the gayest Amelia: so yeah probably Jac: Very O'Keefe of you Jac: can't give up the 🎨 quite yet? Amelia: 😂 Jac: I've met THE perfect girl for you, oh my GOD Amelia: because I'm going to travel to Edinburgh for 🦪 after dodging a 3 hour commute Jac: She's American, you could convince her Cork has a lot to offer beside 🦪 Jac: but actually, she is UNBEARABLE, and I'm trying very hard to be nice and give everyone a chance rn Jac: she does Art History, despite the fact she seems to know less about art than I do Jac: doesn't stop her 🔊 Amelia: 💔 you put your mean girl years behind you too soon, I'm SO proud though Amelia: and I'm sure Savannah appreciates it just as much Jac: 😏 I can feel the sincerity Jac: I know though, talk about completely crazy Amelia: if you want sincerity I can totally believe she'd follow you there as if nothing happened Amelia: are you okay? Jac: I think the prestige probably beat the off-chance I'd also be there but I appreciate the belief Jac: Yeah, actually, I am Jac: it went well, better than I could've or would've imagined before Amelia: alright, that's a relief Amelia: not that it's been playing on my mind or anything since the ✨ livened up my feed Jac: I would've got in touch sooner Jac: It did cross my mind, that you'd see Jac: I also didn't wanna encroach on your freshers' experience at all, that idea won out Jac: It must've been a shock for you and all Amelia: I get it, because likewise obviously Amelia: plus you seemed like you were coping, and it's not the same as before, you have people to go to now if you aren't so Amelia: I don't know, it seemed too dramatic to come at you all !!!!!! Amelia: which is why I didn't Jac: I wouldn't have bitten your head off Jac: but I see and appreciate that logic Jac: not to mention previous experience would say I actually would so Jac: She's changed a lot too, in those 2 years Amelia: good Jac: Yeah, turns out she had a pretty rough time of it too Jac: which, obviously, but I wasn't really in a space to think too much about that back then Amelia: was likely to be more 🥀 than 🌹 living with her dad, and everything that happened with her mum Amelia: I'm not surprised even if I couldn't be very sympathetic then Jac: I can't believe I was zoned out Jac: I didn't even know about her mum Amelia: you had loads of your own shit going on, it'd be more unbelievable if you were tuned into hers Amelia: I didn't know how bad it was, or didn't want to hear it, whichever Jac: Jess made it sound like the world and his wife knew Jac: I feel awful Jac: but her mum is doing better now, and they're trying to mend their relationship, so, that's positive Amelia: it always feels like that in my 🏠 but I would've told you if I'd realised Jac: It isn't your fault remotely Jac: like you said, sympathy about it wasn't at the forefront of your mind Jac: and you can't be blamed there Amelia: I'm genuinely glad things are getting better, the last thing she needs is to feel like shit for leaving her mum again if they aren't Jac: I know you are, you aren't a monster Jac: even if you and Savannah had your differences, and the obvious situation from there 'til now Amelia: that's enough sincerity though, the last thing I need is Savannah Moore trying to be my friend again Amelia: you can keep her Jac: 😂 Alright Jac: about that though Jac: things have changed, between us too Amelia: okay Amelia: what does that mean? Jac: Well, I told her, this time Jac: that I'm not straight Jac: and neither is she Amelia: she really has fucking changed Jac: She hasn't also come out, there's no label on it or anything Jac: but she likes me back Jac: you deserve to know, and would, regardless of where we were in our relationship Jac: I'm sorry if it's not what you want to hear though Amelia: thanks, I guess Amelia: for not waiting for the 💍 announcement Jac: Things haven't moved quite that fast Jac: although, yeah Jac: I know Amelia: It's still Savannah, I doubt she's had a TOTAL personality transplant Amelia: you probably wouldn't like her if she had Amelia: so I'll keep an eye out for that post and put my congrats on it Jac: No, she's still her Jac: and I doubt her plans include a 💍 that could be bought on a student budget Amelia: true Amelia: I'll send some 💐 she'd NEVER put in the 🗑 Amelia: just the 💌 I'll actually bother to write, you know, like a normal person Jac: There goes the mystery Amelia: because of course you wouldn't recognise my handwriting Jac: I've checked your homework over enough times Jac: I doubt anyone else is rushing to send us a bouquet so Jac: process of elimination Amelia: there you go then Jac: but I have told my brother and that Jac: on the off-chance you catch him and he's dying not to bring it up Amelia: bit rude of him not to try and gently break the news Jac: Assumedly either thinking I've imagined the whole thing all over, or it'll all fizzle out before there's any need to go there Amelia: or I'm thriving so hard there's no need to bring me down 1 week in Jac: Obviously that too Jac: but you know that wasn't my intention, yeah Amelia: it's obvious you're not thinking about me, don't worry Jac: Okay Jac: do you want me to leave you now? Amelia: Why would I want that? Jac: Plenty of valid reasons Jac: to process, to not, you just don't feel like talking to me at this precise moment Amelia: what's to process? the bit about her not queerbaiting you the entire time is new, the rest isn't Jac: That's not nothing Jac: it changes the whole thing Amelia: not for me Jac: Alright then Amelia: you were hung up on her every second, what's changed for you is that was a least a bit mutual Amelia: I don't need to process any of that, it doesn't involve me Jac: It's still new information, that's all Amelia: not really Amelia: I probably should have guessed anyway Jac: If I didn't, I don't see how you could've Jac: she didn't even then so Amelia: too late to become a 🔮💎💫 gay, I hear you Jac: 🕵 is definitely a better idea Amelia: maybe I'd just really love to be able to say 'it's just a phase, mum' about something Jac: You've had plenty Amelia: name one Jac: [that boy band I said they liked lol] Jac: for starters Amelia: that wasn't a phase that was me lying that I cared Jac: yeah, okay Jac: you knew all the lyrics 'cos you cover was so deep Jac: no need to lie, they had some tunes Amelia: I knew all the lyrics because there was about 5 lines repeated over and over Jac: uh-huh Jac: you had badges all over your school bag Amelia: because you've never fully committed to a lie, oh wait Jac: There's no need to be a bitch Amelia: 😂 Jac: No, I'm not super ready to laugh about that time in my life, as it goes Amelia: okay Jac: I'm going to leave you to it now Jac: Good luck with your first proper day, hope it all goes well Amelia: actually wait though Amelia: I didn't mean that Amelia: I'm sorry Jac: Alright Jac: I know you're upset, or pissed off Jac: but being a better person doesn't extend to being a punching bag for you to get that out Jac: you can feel it, obviously, but that's just unproductive for you, and not gonna happen from my end Amelia: I know Jac: and I know that's what I did to you Jac: so it probably seems fair, or justified at least, that you get to now Jac: but it wasn't right, and an eye for an eye, you know Amelia: no, it's not fair, I wasn't being, that's why I'm sorry Jac: You don't need to stoop to my lowest Amelia: I'm trying, okay Jac: Yeah Jac: and I accept your apology Amelia: thanks Jac: should I not have told you? Amelia: I think that'd be worse Jac: I thought the same Jac: unless you were going to block me on the sly, then you would have seen Amelia: maybe I should now, I don't know Jac: If you want to Jac: to take some time Jac: or more permanently Jac: it's up to you Jac: obviously my offer of being friends still stands but I understand Jac: as I said, this changes things Amelia: yeah, if we let it Jac: You can't help how this makes you feel Amelia: but why should I let her take everything again? Jac: Savannah isn't actively doing that Jac: but if you want to keep trying, so do I Amelia: we worked hard at getting here, me and you, that's not about her Jac: True Jac: You don't have to be friends with her now, that's not it Jac: just accept that she's my girlfriend, and a big part of my life Amelia: does she know? Jac: About what happened between us? Jac: No Jac: she doesn't know a huge amount about those two years, for me Jac: I plan to tell her everything Jac: but it's a lot to throw at her in a sitting, especially unasked, you know Amelia: it'd really fuck with her freshers, for sure Jac: Right Jac: all for having the hard but necessary conversations Jac: but there's a time and a place Jac: I don't want her to feel like I'm trying to make her feel bad for me, either Jac: like 'look what YOU did' because nah Amelia: too 🥀🥀🥀 Amelia: it can wait, neither of you are going anywhere Jac: That's my logic Amelia: she'll get why you waited Jac: I hope so Amelia: come on, it'll be harder for you to say than it'll be for her to hear, she's a LOT of things, but she won't want you to go through that before you're ready to Jac: You're right Jac: it just feels like secrets, and that feels like 10 steps back Jac: but it isn't that Amelia: I'm sure even she hasn't had time to tell you everything, she'd need to be chatting non stop Jac: True Jac: if you're ever done talking about yourself and your life, that's gotta be a sign you need to get out more, right Jac: there's always more to say Amelia: right Amelia: stop being so virgo-ish about it and give yourself a break Jac: 😂 okay Jac: I just need lectures to actually start Jac: so I can freak out on that instead Amelia: same Jac: are you more 😁 or 😱 Amelia: 😕 Amelia: over 😣 Jac: You'll be fine Jac: let me know how it goes though Jac: I'm interested Amelia: okay 🤓 Jac: Well there's a lot of overlap Jac: obviously, you can usually do them as a double discipline but I wanted to go pure Psych Jac: doesn't mean I'm not 🤔 Amelia: yeah Jac: 🤏🤓 fine Amelia: we're not strangers Jac: I remember Jac: so, what are your new mates like then? Amelia: great, obviously Jac: It's a good thing you aren't taking English Jac: that description leaves a lot to be desired Amelia: what do you want me to say? Jac: Isn't there anyone in particular? Amelia: there's a whole course full of people Jac: Yeah, I like one of my profs, he's really cool Jac: but I don't know anyone on my course that well yet either, they all seem nice enough though Amelia: of course you do Jac: it's so refreshing in comparison to the teachers at our school Jac: even if he acted like a base level human, it'd be a step up Jac: but he knows his stuff, and he's down to help me get ahead, what more could I want Amelia: literally nothing Jac: But I'm still not into dudes so I won't commit that cliche, don't worry Amelia: a real weight off my mind Jac: sure Amelia: 😏 Jac: I've already done loads of prep Jac: can basically chill in his class this whole term Amelia: you can but you won't Amelia: 🤓🏆⭐ Jac: we're not strangers Amelia: maybe we are 🤏 because reading's the only prep we were given but I've already done it Jac: Not really Jac: you just pretended you weren't 🤓 Amelia: no, I just actually wasn't 🤓 about school Jac: plenty of other things Jac: you can't hide the 🤓 Amelia: it's not 😳 I literally can Jac: not from me Amelia: that'd be 10 steps back Jac: try 10000 Amelia: no thank you, that sounds exhausting Jac: you've got a 🛏 Amelia: yeah, I don't know who's more thrilled, me or my dad Amelia: getting to pretend he's allergic to pets for another year at least Jac: result Jac: won't have to fake seduce him on your behalf either Jac: I'm most thrilled Amelia: Savannah is Amelia: undoubtedly Jac: Yeah, that ain't something I ever want to explain 😂 Amelia: she'd be less understanding about it Jac: None of us are understanding that Jac: sorry to your father Amelia: 😂 Jac: I think your mum would snap Jac: go full psycho Amelia: probably Amelia: they're very 😍🥰😘 right now Jac: that's nice Jac: bit gross but good Jac: she won't call you every 10 minutes Amelia: she can try but I won't answer Amelia: the friend I like best will be here soon Jac: Sounds promising Jac: I'll leave you to it for now, for real Jac: you better get ready Amelia: you're so Amelia: you Jac: what does that mean? Amelia: I don't need 👗👠💄 Jac: what's that, a humblebrag? Amelia: hardly Amelia: it's a compliment for you, you're cute for caring Jac: It's not cute, I just like to look nice Amelia: oh so you don't think I look nice? Amelia: rude Jac: everyone looks better for effort Jac: that's simple facts Amelia: anyway, I meant it's cute you care about my social life this much Jac: because I really need you being a loner to worry about Jac: no tah Jac: obviously I'm happy for you Amelia: you don't need to worry about me whatever happens Jac: It's not optional Amelia: okay Jac: I never stopped Amelia: you can stop now Jac: That's just what being friends is Amelia: I'm no expert Amelia: have to take your word for it, if anything Jac: I know you care about me too Amelia: but you're thriving so I don't have to worry Jac: I guess Jac: it's not just for the bad times though, is it Amelia: I hope not Jac: it's not Jac: come on Jac: pull yourself together and at least do 1 out of 3 👗👠💄 Amelia: fine, I'll put shoes on Jac: that's what I like to hear Amelia: 🙄 just because I'm ignoring my mum there's no need for you to take over from her Jac: I still can't do any handicrafts so unlikely Amelia: Savannah is unlikely to wear a homemade 🧣 so I think you're fine Jac: she loves anything thoughtful but I ain't gonna start there still Amelia: 💐 Jac: Naturally Jac: both our rooms look like a florist already Jac: makes up for the shabby walls and carpet you can't do much about Amelia: any time you'd like to fully lean into the 👵 I'll do you an embroidery hoop or something Amelia: very chic Jac: they do sell a lot of that sort of thing in the charity shops Jac: I'm sure your 🎨 will be better than whatever the actual 👵 decided to do 🖼 Amelia: SUCH a compliment, I have no idea how I'm not 😳 Jac: Charity shops are in Jac: I'm not going to call it thrifting, I'm not even half-American, wouldn't be able to take myself seriously Amelia: good, please don't Jac: vintage, upcycling, all acceptable Amelia: for my mother Amelia: I'll take how 'modern' my room here is Jac: I suppose that does make a change Jac: I love the buildings though, the architecture Amelia: 🎨 Amelia: yeah, would be inspiring if I had any time Jac: Is Cork by the coast? Jac: I know nothing about that area Jac: I'm like NEXT to the beach, it's incredible Amelia: it's one of the largest natural harbours in the world, if that doesn't make you want to come and visit me, well ?? Amelia: it has it's own lovely architecture Jac: You should work for the tourism board, honestly Jac: good speech, that Amelia: 🤷🏻 Amelia: I'm here for the 🤓 and you're already interested in that Jac: I'd go to Italy, if I were you Jac: but then, Denmark might have the most interesting criminal practices and laws, so that's a good choice too Amelia: you'll visit me there then, yeah? Jac: I forgot about Sweden, but those three are the real ones to consider Jac: and we can sort visiting when we're even a bit settled Amelia: okay Jac: we've only just left Amelia: thanks for that obvious reminder Jac: 😏 Jac: you know what I mean Jac: give me a chance to get my diary in order before you're saying I'm avoiding you or whatever Amelia: give you a chance to miss me, you mean Amelia: you've got one right now, because I have to go get ready Jac: Oh, if we had to wait for that, you'd never see me again 😉 Jac: have fun 👠👠 Amelia: 💔 Amelia: bye