#I meant to post this on a side blog and now it’s doing numbers

[majorgammage]

Convinced the Cat King was so in to Edwin because cats always gravitate to the person least likely to pet them. You have crippling allergies and might die if I touch you? You’re my favorite. You’re a repressed little Victorian Edwardian boy who flinches if I show you the slightest affection? Obsessed.

[forzalando]

💛 hi 🥹 CONGRATS ON 3K THAT'S HUUUUUGE !!!!

I am obsessed with this idea and also my favourite activity (as of recently lmao) is drunk karaoke and of COURSE my dream would be to do it with lando !!!!

drunk karaoke with Lando would, and i'm not exaggerating, mean everything to me. i am in love with just the idea of this.

thank you for supporting me through the many phases of this blog and for entertaining my every thought/idea. adore you, mel💛 i hope you enjoy this blurb that was meant to be 300-400 words but ended up being 800+ lol

celebration post: here

Drunk Karaoke with Lando Norris under the cut😊

You quickly downed the shot thrust into your hand – sambuca, which meant it absolutely came from Lando since he was the only one who knew of your preference.  

He was on your left, sweaty and somehow wide awake despite the fact you’d been out for hours. Oscar was on your right, slowly swaying to the music with his eyes half shut. Somewhere across the club Charles and Pierre were dancing on an elevated surface while George videotaped them like a suburban soccer mom at her son’s first game. Here in Monaco, everyone partied post-race as if they themselves had made it to the top step over the weekend.

Out of nowhere, Lando fell into you as he shouted in your ear – “Do you know what I’ve always wanted to do?”

Oscar caught you before you could topple over, steadying you on your feet before shooting Lando a dirty look.

“Sorry, sorry,” Lando giggled. He centered himself and then put his hands on your shoulders, looking the most serious you’d ever seen him. “Anyway, do you know what I’ve always wanted to do?”

“Win at Silverstone? Become world champion?”

“Well, yes, but think smaller, you lunatic. Something I could do right now.”

“Out drink Max?”

“What? No, I don’t care about outdrinking Max, where did that come from?”

“Well, I just thought since he usually wins every race that you’d want to beat him at something – ”

“Oh my god, you’re impossible,” Oscar interjected. “He wants to do drunk karaoke. When we went out in Miami he was practically on his knees begging me to sing with him.”

A giant grin spread across your face as you playfully swatted Lando’s chest.

“Why didn’t you just say so? I happen to be an excellent karaoke partner,” you boasted.

Lando clapped his hands and jumped around like a toddler at your remark – “So, you’ll do it with me?”

Instead of answering, you snatched his hand and pulled him through the club at an impressive speed. You weren’t in a karaoke bar, quite far from it, but you planted yourself in front of the DJ booth and gestured to Lando. Security immediately pulled you both into the booth, perks of having Lando at your side, and the DJ of the night asked what she could do for you.

“Hi! Lando Norris wants to do drunk karaoke and I’m trusting that you can make that happen. It’s very important to him,” you professed.

“I think I might have a couple instrumentals or could make some magic happen. Any specific requests? You won’t have any lyrics on screen, though. And you’ll have to share a mic.”

Before you could ask what your options were, Lando was shouting, once again, in your ear.

“DO YOU HAVE THE SPICE GIRLS? THAT ONE SPICE GIRLS SONG?”

“Lando, we won’t have the lyrics,” you reminded him.

“I don’t need them,” he declared, crossing his arms with attitude. “Maybe you need them, fake fan.”

“I most certainly do not,” you yelled back to Lando. “DJ, roll the track. Pretty please. You're amazing."

She chuckled and handed you the singular mic, Lando immediately snatching it from your hands.

“It’s my dream, I get to hold the mic.”

You rolled your eyes and fought back a smile, stepping into his side as he threw an arm around you.

The deafening bass from the speakers grew quiet as the DJ addressed the crowd of people – “we’ve got a special surprise tonight! These two lovely friends of mine up here are going to perform a special number for everyone. Please welcome – ”

She paused, waiting for you and Lando to introduce yourselves.

“LANDO NORRIS AND Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Please welcome Lando Norris and Y/N Y/L/N to my booth. Show them some love!”

The clapping and cheering brought the volume in the club back to an obscene level – the loudest cheers coming from a VIP table not far from the booth where all of your friends had gathered.

Before you had a chance to feel the slightest bit self-conscious, the infamous laugh rang through the speakers and Lando was scream-singing into the mic.

 “YO, I’LL YOU WHAT I WANT, WHAT I REALLY, REALLY WANT!”

The two of you in perfect sync, passing lines back and forth, singing (if you could call it that) in unison during the chorus. You could have sworn you heard George shout out that this was “his song” and Max was most definitely telling anyone who would listen that he personally knows Ginger Spice.  

You tore your eyes from the audience to look at Lando – the smile on his face rivaling the brightest sunny day. With his arm around you, squeezing you to his side, your closest friends cheering for you, your heart was sure to burst from happiness. There was no place you’d rather be in that moment than making a drunken fool of yourself with the most important person in your life by your side.

And if Lando was thinking the same thing, about how he was happier in that moment than he’d ever been, podiums and race win included, he’d keep that to himself for just a minute more.

[insipid-drivel]

Toxins, Venom, and Poisons in Historical Western Medicine: How Are We Not Extinct From Doing Some Of This To Ourselves?

This piece is an involuntary piece inspired by @writing-with-sophia's awesome post "Poison list", which is an accurate and succinct list of commonly known (and ancient!) poisons, venoms, and toxins that have been and were used for causing poisoning in ancient and recent history. I wanted to write this because what struck me by their post crossing my dash was, the sheer number of poisons listed that were - and even still are - used as mainstays for healthcare around the world throughout the ages!

OBLIGATORY DON'T BE A DUMBASS PSA: If you're planning on incorporating these poisons into your HISTORICAL-era writing, it's also important to remember that many of them were used for medicinal purposes at one time, too, and it's great you're interested in learning about the subject! And also, you shouldn't try ANY of these! I will not tell you how to do it at home if you DM me, so don't! You are not appropriately trained to do it! You will harm or kill yourself and possibly your loved ones if you fuck around with any of these and it will be 100% your fault and you absolutely should feel bad bout it! I've seen some of you idiots believe 4chan posts about making home-grown crystals using recipes for actual mustard gas and seen you being wheeled into the ER on the news! I will not feel bad if you get yourself hurt if you screw around with any of these plants, elements, or animals!

Resource blog plugs and PSA over, now for the Hilariously Poisonous Medicines:

If you're writing something that's meant to take place prior to the advent of our more modern understanding of poisons, venoms, and toxins, factoring in "this is toxic to me NOW, but what about 500 years ago?" can add a lot of opportunities for interesting plot elements to your story.

These can include someone accidentally poisoning themselves with a toxic drug or substance that wouldn't have killed them if they'd handled it properly - like tansy? Grows all over the place in Europe and England? That'll kill you if you harvest it too late in the season, but it's good for intestinal parasites when it's harvested early in the year and processed right.

Did the lady's maid really kill her mistress with belladonna? Or was she trying to secretly help her mistress get rid of an unwanted pregnancy?

The protagonist's children can't survive to make it to weaning age! Is the wetnurse a poisoner, or does the milkman hide that he sells sour milk by pouring Borax into it so no one could taste it and has no idea he's killing his clients' babies?

Nuance and cultural mores regarding historical views about poisons and toxins can make writing even more fun, dynamic, and interesting! Explore 'em!

Just... please don't try any of this crap yourself. You will poison yourself, it will hurt, you will die, and you will hurt the entire time you're dying. Using OP's master list alone, here's the flip side of these lethal beasts through the eyes of our distant ancestors who believed illness was caused by "vapors", "bad air", and "imbalanced humors":

Hemlock:

Used across multiple different cultures in history. When properly administered to treat a disease, poison hemlock was used to treat asthma, whooping cough, bronchitis, joint/bone pain, muscle cramps, and insomnia. Hemlock was most often used as a sedative and antispasmodic.

Arsenic:

Arsenic is a heavy metal, and so has been used in everything from making specialty dyes for wallpapers (Scheele's green is the most infamous arsenic-based paint; Queen Victoria once had a guestroom in her palace redone with Scheele's green wallpaper. The first dignitary to stay there had to be carried out and taken to emergency care after breathing astronomical amounts of arsenic dust from the wallpaper's paint), to medicine. Arsenic was especially commonly used in history to treat skin ailments ranging from acne, to psoriasis, to syphilis sores. It was also sometimes prescribed for menstrual cramps, upset stomachs, colic, and arthritis, among many, many other things.

Cyanide:

Uh... I have literally never found any evidence of cyanide in medicine, outside of its use in modern medicine as part of certain chemical lab tests for measuring urine ketone bodies that involve no contact with a patient whatsoever. Cyanide literally works in less than a few seconds to render your entire body incapable of absorbing OR using oxygen in your lungs or already existing in your blood. Cyanide is really only good at making things that breathe not breathe anymore.

Nightshade:

There are a lot of different "nightshades", so being specific is essential here. Potatoes are nightshades. Tomatoes are nightshades. Calling anything a "nightshade" does not inherently mean it's lethally toxic. Belladonna is probably the most notorious of the "deadly" nightshades, but to this day, is still used medicinally, and would actually be seen as a health and cosmetic mainstay in historical fiction, especially if your setting is in Italy!

Belladonna is an Italian portmanteau for "beautiful woman", because tinctures (water-based drops) of belladonna were commonly used by Italian women as eyedrops to dilate their eyes and appear more attractive, aroused, and desirable. Today, belladonna's eye-dilating effects are still used by optometrists to dilate the pupils! Belladonna has been, and still sometimes is used as an NSAID, general painkiller, motion sickness treatment, asthma medication, and even as a treatment for IBS.

Ricin:

As OP said, Ricin is derived from the toxin found in Castor Beans, and is surprisingly new as an official "the only reason this is made is to make someone dead" poison. Not only is ricin a popular "nobody would think to test for this!" choice in mystery/thriller writing, but it has been used for political assassinations in real life before. Georgi Markov, a Bulgarian anti-Communist dissenter and writer, was killed in 1978 with a 1.7mm diameter ricin-coated pellet shot into his thigh muscle by an unidentified assailant using a modified umbrella as a gun. He died 4 days later.

Historically, castor OIL has been used for medicinal purposes, especially for treating constipation, inducing labor in pregnancy, and as a topical skin moisturizer. If you've ever watched the opening scene in Disney's "Peter Pan", when the childrens' mother is trying to give them a spoonful of medicine each, she's actually giving them castor oil! Castor oil tastes really bad (so much so that flavorings like cinnamon were often added to try to muffle the taste), so the childrens' reluctance and disgust at their mom making them take their medicine is very realistic for the era the movie came out in!

Strychnine:

Another lethal poison that started life as a medicine/food additive. Strychnine is no longer used medicinally at all today, but historically, it was used to stimulate the heart, treat bladder and bowel incontinence, and limb palsy. Strychnine is a deadly-powerful muscle stimulant that, as a poison, causes horrifyingly painful full-body strictures (spasms) and destroys the cardiovascular system. (Fun fact: Strychnine and hydrochloric acid were historically mixed into cheap vodka to make knock-off gin, especially during the Georgian Era in England if the brewer didn't have or couldn't afford juniper berries!)

Snake Venom:

Seriously, do your research before you write an actual, real snake species using venom they don't produce! The Big 3 Forms Of Snake Venom are: Hemotoxic, Neurotoxic, and Cytotoxic. Specific snake species exclusively generate the same kind of venom (so a hemotoxic snake will ALWAYS produce baby snakes that also make hemotoxic venom). Aristotle himself wrote in 380 BC that certain snake venoms could be applied for treating fevers, smallpox, and leprosy, and there is even some evidence in the historical record prior to the 1800s that different cultures have experimented throughout the eons with using venom for converting into antivenom, but I've never found a source citing anyone making a successful form of antivenom until around the 1850s.

Digitalis:

OP really nailed the important thing about Digitalis, and that is it's cardiac benefits for certain people - particularly for treating congestive heart failure. Vincent van Gogh was actually prescribed epilepsy medication that likely contained Digitalis, aka Foxglove, and there are some prevailing theories about van Gogh's love of bright yellow paint as being either caused or exacerbated by the symptoms associated with digitalis use, which can cause an attraction to and increased visual sensitivity to the color yellow. In several portraits, including one of his own psychiatrist, van Gogh shows subjects presented alongside foxglove flowers. Digitalis is absolutely lethal if consumed or taken without expert guidance, however, because it's the mother ingredient of Digoxin. Digoxin isn't used as frequently as it used to be a few decades ago, but it's still used and prescribed today for certain forms of heart failure and heart disease. Digoxin was also, at one time, was also sometimes used to induce chemical abortions.

Lead:

Dear god, lead. Not only is it so slow to kill you that you'll think that the only way to manage your symptoms is with more lead, but lead poisoning can be a life-long crisis for a person who is regularly exposed to it. Humans have used lead for everything from plumbing, to paint, to our cutlery, to cosmetics, to medicine. While yes, it is very possible to ingest enough lead in a single sitting to die within hours or days, most sufferers of lead poisoning experience it for years or decades before the symptoms become obvious. Some archaeologists believe that the Romans used lead cutlery because lead has a unique reaction when we lick it: when you have lead coating your tongue, it makes EVERYTHING you eat suddenly taste 10x better. I learned this myself from going target-shooting with my mom at a gun rage as a teenager, inhaled gunsmoke (which contains lead), and went for lunch immediately after. Even though I was just eating a $5 meal from In-N-Out, my burger tasted so good I thought I was gonna have to change my pants. When I asked the rangemaster at the target place about it later, he literally said, "Oh yeah, lead makes the worst cooking taste like heaven."

The ancient Romans ate a lot of rotten, spoiled, and sour food, and so lead would've made it easier to eat it back then. But the neurological effects of lead poisoning are nightmarish. It's suspected that, in America, the #1 reason we had so many active serial killers in the country from the 1940s-2000s was because of leaded gasoline. Ever since leaded gasoline was banned? Serial and random violent crime rates have dramatically gone down, especially in metropolitan cities. Ancient Rome, too, gradually became an increasingly violent city as its population went up and its reliance on lead did. We're only just now starting to figure out how toxic lead actually is, so go nuts with using it as a plot element regarding subjects like "Why Are You Like This?"

Mercury:

Mercury is also known as quicksilver, because in spite of being a heavy metal, the temperature at which it melts into a liquid is very, very low compared to most other metals. The first Emperor of China, Qin Shi Huang, was rumored to be so obsessed with the notion of immortality that he would send his doctors on doomed voyages around the world searching for a legendary substance that would, indeed, make him immortal. Legend has it that some doctors who were tasked with the job found out about the last guys, and produced mercury before Emperor Qin Shi Huang and cried, "Here it is! I got it!" so they wouldn't end up doomed to drown at sea. Qin Shi Huang became so obsessed with ingesting and medicating himself with mercury that, when his legendary tomb was being constructed, he had a small-yet-accurate-to-scale map of China+the known world about the size of a football field with every body of water full of fountains of running mercury in his burial chamber. His tomb was rediscovered in the last couple of decades after archaeologists found suspiciously high levels of mercury in the soil on top of a "hill" that had been sitting in the countryside untouched for thousands of years. It turned out to be Qin Shi Huang's long-lost tomb.

Since those days, mercury has closely been associated in early medicine as a sort of cure-all, since it literally kills anything it touches (including people). Captain Blackbeard himself, the most notorious pirate in Western history (Western specifically; google who Zheng Yi Sao was), was known or widely believed to be a syphilis sufferer, and desperately sought infusions of mercury from ships he'd capture (and the doctors onboard) to treat it, believing like everyone did that mercury could cure syphilis. It can't. They just didn't understand back then that syphilis starts off surface-level, and then eats your brain years after the initial infection.

Aconite:

Again, ridiculously toxic outside of specific medicinal applications that still aren't safe today! Aconite, or wolfsbane, has historically been used as a heart sedative (for slowing the heart), diuretic, painkiller, and even used to induce sweating. Evidence of wolfsbane being used for medicinal purposes has been spotted here and there over thousands of years throughout the Greek, Roman, and Byzantine Empires, but its original use came about in Ancient Greece for hunting and culling wolves by poisoning bait-food with it. That form of hunting died out long before the European Middle Ages, but the name "wolfsbane" stuck. Mostly because in the Middle Ages, a lot of people believed werewolves were a huge problem, and kept wolfsbane handy to deter said werewolves.

Thallium:

Today, thallium is mostly used in the production of camera and eyeglass lenses. Before its toxicity was known about, it wasn't strange to hear of thallium being used topically to treat fungal infections like ringworm. Thallium was also sporadically used in treating typhus and tuberculosis, along with a wide array of sexually transmitted diseases.

This list doesn't even touch the tip of the toxic iceberg when it comes to the sheer quantity of hilariously dangerous toxins people have, or still continue, to use for medicinal purposes! In a Victorian-era English London middle-class townhouse setting alone, there were dozens and dozens of ways to poison or otherwise harm yourself just by going about your daily life. So, if you've got a period piece you're working on, or are just bored, you can pick an exact date and time in our history and learn just how terrifyingly comfortable our ancestors were with upsettingly dangerous substances and home remedies. You can also watch a massive docuseries, called "Hidden Killers" and hosted by historian Suzannah Lipscomb, among other historians and archaeologists, which deep-dives into the hidden and unknown dangers of living in eras from Tudor-Era England, to the Post-WWII Reconstruction Age.

As a final note: I am NOT bashing Chinese or Eastern medicinal practices here, and in fact deliberately have gone out of my way to not include any references toward culturally-sanctioned medicinal practices in Eastern and Southeastern Asia. This post is specifically related to the history of WESTERN medicines and their associated history. I am not, nor have I ever been, a doctor of any traditional Eastern medicinal practices, and do not pretend to know better. Sinophobes are unwelcome in my blog space.

[lincolndjarin]

ride cowgirl! ★ (agent whiskey x reader)

(18+ mdni) pairings : agent whiskey x afab!reader summary : you like to make bets with your coworker for simple things, what happens when he decides he wants to raise the stakes? warnings & tags : no use of y/n, smut, sort of dubcon there's reluctance but everything is consensual, porn with plot, this ended up actually being mostly plot lmao, p in v sex, unprotected sex, forced orgasm, light bondage, use of restraints, fully clothed sex, pet names, size kink, praise, whiskey big dick truther word count : 2.3k a/n : first new fic post on the new blog!!! I had so much fun with this thank you so much to the person who requested it !! one of my google forms anon requests was for anything whiskey!! (I put the request at the end) this was the direction I went in >:) this was meant to be a drabble but I got carried away immediately. enjoy!! (this was edited super fast bc i'm tired after work lmao, so apologies for any mistakes)

It was a stupid deal. 

And you never should have made it. 

Of course it’s a little late for that now, when he’s already tying your hands behind your back with his ridiculous flask belt. 

“This wasn’t a part of the original agreement.” You grumble as he pulls the leather tight. That smug smile on his face. 

“You said, anyway I wanted it. This is how I want it.” He leans back against the headboard to admire his work. His eyes focused on the way your chest pushes out now with your arms forced behind you until you cough to get his attention. He takes his time before letting his eyes crawl back up to your face, still grinning ear to ear. 

“Can we just get this over with?” You groan. 

“Oh come on, gorgeous.” He’s loosening his tie, his smile never falters. “I already told you we don’t have to do this. I’ve offered you several outs and you keep turning them down. Besides,” He flashes his teeth at you in a toothy grin. “it’s no fun for me if you don’t want it.” 

That’s exactly what he’d said when you’d made this deal a week ago. 

“I think I want your hat.” You said rather confidently. The two of you had a long standing rivalry. You were placing bets nearly every week at this point. The winner was whoever had the most successful missions. It had started off simple. The loser has to take the other out to dinner, or pay for drinks after a night out. 

After a few months of that you’d gone out with Whiskey more times then you’d gone on any dates. 

Then you decided to raise the stakes. 

The other person's paycheck that week, a piece of tech the other had, at one point your mothers phone number was on the line. (Thankfully that week you had won.)

This week you were feeling lucky. So you pointed at his cowboy hat, he was never seen without. 

“If I win I want your hat.” You cock your head to the side, smirking. 

“You have a hat already.” He was typing up a mission report, you had come in as you always did on Monday mornings. 

“Nice observation agent, how’d you figure that out?” You took a pen from the mug on his desk, rapidly clicking it in an attempt to get under his skin. “That doesn’t change my mind, I don’t want my hat. I want yours.”

He sighs in irritation, taking the pen from you and moving the mug to the other side of his computer. 

“And if you win you can have mine.” You flick the rin of his hat as you say it and he finally turns to glare at you. 

“I don’t want your hat, I already have a hat.” 

“Someone’s in a bad mood today.” You whisper theatrically as he turns back to his work. 

“I’ve got a lot of paperwork to get through darlin’ so let’s hurry this up.” 

“I already told you. I want your hat, if you don’t want mine then pick something else.” 

He turns in his desk chair completely to face you now. Annoyance visible on his face. 

“If I win, then you wear my hat.” As he speaks he cracks the first smile you’ve seen on him all morning. 

“You aren’t making any sense, are you still waking up? Do you want me to go get you some coffee?” You laugh but he leans forward. Even though you were up on the desk and he was in his chair he was still nearly face to face with you. 

“Darlin’ you can be so cute sometimes.” You have no idea what he means but his voice has a condescending tone that makes you scowl. 

“Stop being coy and just clarify.” His first signs of a smile turn into a full blown grin. 

“Wear the hat, ride the cowboy.” He whispers, you’re about to slap him for making such a crass joke but he looks completely serious. 

“That’s not funny. What do you really want?” You pray he doesn’t see the goosebumps on your arms at his words, you spend so much time with him yet he’s never made a pass at you. You’ve watched him hit on countless women these last few months but he’s never turned his attention towards you quite like this. 

“I told you. You win, you get my hat. I win, you wear it.” He has to be messing with you. You want to believe that he’s just trying to push your buttons but you know purely based on the way he looks at you that he couldn’t be more serious. 

It’s an insane offer. But it’s not like you haven’t thought about it. Who wouldn’t be curious about what he must whisper to get women to come home with him, what he must promise them. 

Stop. You can’t seriously be considering this. 

“Don’t be ridiculous. Obviously I’m not doing that.” You get up to leave. Embarrassed by the entire situation. 

“You win, you get my hat and the Bronco. I win, you wear the hat.” You’re already walking out when he says it and you stumble a bit before turning back to stare at him slack jawed. 

“You’d give me your car?” The disbelief in your tone is palpable. 

“If you won.”

And you just couldn’t say no. It was too good of an offer. 

So you set up ground rules. 

You wanted your clothes to stay on, at least as much as possible for the situation. Which he agreed to, so long as the two of you did it “how ever he wanted.” You didn’t realize until much later what that entailed. And of course there was the fact that he wanted you to enjoy it. An odd request all things considered, but he said it was important to him that you had a good time. 

“It's no fun for me if you don’t want it.” 

He had insisted that if you weren’t into it that he would stop, especially if he thought you were faking it. 

Once everything was decided the two of you shook hands. 

And then, by some cruel trick of fate, you had fumbled not one, not two, not even three, but all of your missions that week. A feat that has never happened to you in the entire history of your employment with Statesman. 

So that’s how you ended up like this. 

Fully clothed other than your discarded panties, straddling your most annoying coworker, who’s sitting underneath you, dressed the same as always except his pants are unzipped, with his belt around your wrists. 

“Just let me know when you’re ready darlin’, take your time. I can wait all night, I've got nothing else planned.” 

You could tell him no. You should. You just don't want to.

The second you did he would take the belt off your wrists, hand you your panties (the ones you pretended you didn’t see him shove in his pocket when you threw them on the bed,) and send you on your way. And he’d do it all with a smile. 

Of course you can’t let that happen, that would just mean that he’s won, again. 

He wouldn’t even tell anyone, not that anyone knew about the deal to begin with. But he’d never tease you for bailing, he’d just make you live with the knowledge that you bit off more than you could chew. 

And worst of all, if you had won, you know for a fact that he would have handed over the keys to his car with zero hesitation. 

So you roll your eyes and nod. 

He clicks his tongue, leaning forward, his hands rub your thighs, pushing your skirt up further. 

“Tell me you want it sweetheart.” He taunts, making you sigh loudly. 

It’s not that you don’t want it. God knows you want it. You crave it. But you can’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that.

“I want it.” You say, almost comically emotionless which has him frowning, sitting up straighter. 

“Let’s just call it. You clearly don’t, and I’m not interested in an unenthusiastic partner.” He begins to lift you off of his hips but you push against him, properly sitting yourself in his lap. 

“Give me a second, Jesus. I’m not even warmed up, just- I need a minute. We’re doing this.” There’s a determination in your voice that stops his efforts.

There are a few seconds of silence before he speaks again. 

“Do you want me to… warm you up?” It’s the first time he’s dropped the cocky facade since you started this ordeal. 

“No. I think I’m okay. Let’s do this.” You nod a few times, almost like you’re hyping yourself up. The two of you hadn’t factored in a lot of the logistical details of this deal, more specifically foreplay. 

As he pulls himself out of his jeans you’re starting to wish that you had. He isn’t even completely hard yet and you aren’t entirely sure how you’re going to take all of it. 

He unceremoniously spits into his hand before gripping himself at the base, steadily stroking himself. 

It’s like he’s a porn star and you’ve got front row seats to a private show. 

You’re close enough that when he leans forward, softly grunting, his face brushes against yours. His cock becoming fully erect in his hand, you hope he doesn’t hear you gulp. 

As he jerks himself off, his free hand reaches up, removing his hat before placing it onto your head. It’s a little too big for you so it tilts to one side. He gives you a lopsided grin before picking up his pace. You watch with wide eyes. 

He’s too big. 

In every way possible. 

He’s too long, he’s too thick, he’s simply too much. 

And you can’t tell him that. He’s smug enough as is, if you say “actually nevermind. you’re dick’s too big I couldn’t possibly fuck you.” he’ll be even more insufferable than he already is. But much to your chagrin he already knows what you’re thinking. 

“You still sure you don’t want me to warm you up?” His nerves are clearly gone as he chuckles before hissing through his teeth. His thumb brushes over his pink, weeping tip. 

“I’m fine. Ready when you are.” Not true. 

“Maybe I could free your wrists. You can do it yourself if you don’t want me to do it.” He’s reaching behind you and you once again halt his efforts. 

“No. We’re doing this your way.” 

You’re certainly overestimating your abilities, but he doesn’t need to know that. 

You scoot forward in his lap until his cock is resting between your thighs. You sit up on your knees and he lines himself up at your entrance. 

“Last chance to back out, sugar.” With that final taunt from him you sink down onto him without warning. Barely taking more than an inch before you drop your chin to your chest so he can’t see your face as he simultaneously leans back to rest against the headboard once more. 

It feels like he’s splitting you in half. 

His hands return to your thighs. His palms splayed against you as his thumbs rub comforting circles against your flesh. 

The sting is all you can think of but buried beneath it all is a heat that threatens to consume you. 

You lift your head to look at him. He’s lost a bit of his bravado as he runs his fingers through his hair. You don’t give him (or yourself to be fair) a chance to adjust. You have a desperate need to watch him unravel despite the ache between your legs. 

You take a deep breath before you take nearly half of him in one rock of your hips. 

The stretch is unlike anything you’ve ever felt before, the heat in your stomach is bubbling over as you let out a moan you’ve never heard from yourself before. His grip on your thighs is tight enough now that you’re certain you’ll have to wear a longer skirt tomorrow. 

“Christ darlin’.” He stutters out, his eyes are squeezed shut and you couldn’t be more proud. 

“Is this enthusiastic enough for you?” You manage to grunt out between your small gasps. 

He mumbles something that sounds like a yes.

You have to wait longer this time before moving again, you wait until the pain eases itself away and is replaced with that heat you’ve been pursuing. Only then do you try taking more of him, you don’t manage all of it but you take most of him after a bit of effort. The entire time his eyes are trained on you, a look of admiration on his face. 

“You are something else, gorgeous.” He whispers.

His low drawl shoots straight to your core and god you’re sure he knows it. He whimpers when your walls clench around him.

You haven’t even started properly riding him and you’re close. 

The way he fills you has you seeing stars. You would love to try and banter with him right now, tease him, but you’re too far gone. Too focused on the way his tongue pokes out to wet his lips as he lets out a soft whine before squeezing your hips.

“Let me touch you, please.” He mutters breathlessly.

You aren’t one to deny good southern manners. 

You give him a nod and he wastes no time as he rubs your clit with the pads of his fingers frantically, like he’s trying to make you cum as fast as possible. You’re confused as to why for only a moment because your climax approaches so rapidly it nearly knocks the wind out of you. Your hips stutter as you sit, finally fully impaled on his length, in an instant your vision is a searing hot white. His hat tilts forward on your head, briefly covering your eyes. You’re left breathless in his lap, when you come down from your high he’s grinning at you.

“I win again darlin’.” 

You groan as you recall the conversation you’d had right before he had tied your hands behind your back. 

“If I finish first you can have my hat, if you do, then I get to finish inside you.” 

“Absolutely not.”

“If I finish first you can have the Bronco.”

“...Fine.”

a/n : requester ily, thank youuu

[ingravinoveritas]

Oh FFS 🤦🏼‍♀️ did you see AL’s tweet? A 1:1 copy of Georgia’s haha OMG such couple goals post/story, again.

And why the heck would they of all people no want to see their own partners celebrated and encouraged? You know, those partners who ensure the nice cozy life they lead and who by their profession are dependent on the public and industry’s continued positive acknowledgment… Not that mutual support shouldn’t be present in any relationship, mind.

I'm in the middle of answering a few other Asks/writing a detailed post about some of Georgia's recent posts this week, so I will save a lot of my thoughts for there, but...yes. Yes, I did see AL's newest tweet, and I am amazed at her blatantly copying Georgia. Again...

I think the thing for me--other than the exact copying, which is just painful at this point--is that I would have zero issue with either one of these posts if it felt like there was even a smidge of affection behind them. If there is a joke here and that's how these posts are meant, they're somehow not reading that way at all. It also seems like both AL and Georgia think a joke and an insult are the same thing (and I realize that in British culture/sensibility that is often the case), but again, what makes it distinguishable is that underlying feeling of affection that is seemingly absent from these posts.

At what point does "Don't encourage him" actually start to mean, "I don't encourage him" or "I don't support him"? A person in a relationship can start to feel over time that their partner doesn't support or encourage them through their actions, even if the partner doesn't ever say those exact words out loud. And this would be no less egregious or worth calling out if it was Michael and David doing it to AL and Georgia, but it noticeably seems to keep being directed from one side to the other.

That is the other piece of this as well, that both of these posts are not one-off occurrences, but part of a larger pattern of comments that have been going on for years (which I've written about previously on my blog) and seem to particularly occur in response to David or Michael receiving any kind of praise or accolades in the press. The difference now versus in the past is that I've started to see some pushback in response to both. There are many comments on AL's tweet from folks saying that Michael deserves encouragement, and shouldn't it give one pause to consider that such a sentiment is so opposite to what his own partner is saying? That the one person who should be his number one supporter consistently reacts in the least supportive way possible?

And I agree with you as well about mutual support being important, which again is what makes all of this seem so unbalanced. David has frequently been supportive of Georgia, but with Michael and AL, neither one honestly seems that supportive of the other. For me it's also that Michael is so consistently and effusively supportive of David that it becomes even more noticeable when he doesn't do that with someone else. All Anna's tweet today did is draw even more attention to that and to the (less than positive) similarities between her and Georgia, and I imagine that is not at all what she was hoping for.

Those are my thoughts, at least. I know plenty of people will continue to see Michael/AL and David/Georgia as #couplegoals--and if that is how people feel, they are welcome to it--but for me, a relationship where the frequent centerpiece is putting down your partner on social media doesn't seem like one I'd want to be in. Glad to hear from others with your perspectives as well...

[f10werfae]

Mischievous Monkey

pairing: Dad!Chris Evans x Mom!Reader

summary: After a routine family nap, a certain little Evans gets up to harmless no good deeds

-Requests are open!

Likes, Comments and Re-blogs are appreciated♥️

Chris Evans Masterlist���

Full Masterlist💫

Taglist Form✨

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

The mid winter afternoon sun spilled into warm living room, casting a soft orange glow over the snoring family. Chris Evans and his family were definitely one to take family naps on the daily, consisting of both his toddler Ellie and wife Y/n.

With an air mattress on the living room floor packed with blankets and pillows, and of course stuffies Ellie refused to sleep without, Elmer the giraffe. Chris lay on his back with one arm folded behind his head, another arm tucking his dear wife into his side and baby Ellie had taken it upon herself to sleep on top of her daddy’s chest.

“mmm” Ellie whimpered nuzzling her head further into her dad’s bare chest, her tiny hands clutching onto one of her mother’s fingers while the other had stuck a thumb into her own mouth for comfort. Dressed in her favourite bambi t-shirt dress, the three year old began to stir from her nap. Letting go of her momma’s finger and thumb, she lifted her head up cutely looking lost, almost forgetting where she was.

Using her diapered bottom as a cushion, the three year old slid off her daddy’s chest, landing with a bounce onto the air mattress. Ellie's specks of brown hair stood up in all directions, her face still puffy from her sweet nap.

“hmph” Looking around she felt bored but didn’t want to venture too far from her parents' side, not when there were boogie monsters hiding somewhere in the house. Her wide eyes looked around the room hopelessly, until a shiny thing by her daddy’s head caught her eye, his phone.

Stumbling to her feet, she tottered over and grabbed the phone with her hands, quiet squeals leaving her when the screen lit up. The three year old checked up on her parents, to see them now snuggling further into each other, oblivious to the antics their baby was getting up to while they snoozed. In fact Y/n now had one leg wrapped around Chris' waist with one arm around his torso, with both Chris' arms wrapping around his wife.

Little Ellie now felt left out and decided to do what she did best, cuddle. Trying to crawl into her parent’s arms seemed impossible, huffing out of her pouty lips she just sat staring at them both. Until the shiny thing once again caught her eye, her interest went further when she recognised the numbers from 1-9 on the screen, something her mom had spent time trying to teach her before kindergarten.

Pressing a wide spread of different numbers that peaked her interest, she got into what looked like a screen with multiple icons and squares, her dad’s homescreen.

“Oo birdie” She whispered seeing a blue icon with a white bird, reminding her of the times she had seen tweetie bird while watching Baby Looney Tunes with her parents during bottle time. She furrowed her brows when a complicated looking thing came up, all types of words and symbols all over the place. ‘messy’ she thought

Seeing the only thing she recognised was a ‘+’ button she decided to press it, with the alphabet coming up underneath giving her free reign to type whatever her heart felt content with. Starting with her ABCs typed out, she smiled proudly to herself before seeing the suggested words pop up above the keyboard.

Ellie clicked rapidly watching an abundance of words pop up onto the screen instantly bringing her tons of joy.

She only felt it was right to press the tick in the corner, thinking it meant she was correct, not realising she had posted it to Chris' 16 million twitter followers. Dropping the phone when she felt her father’s arm wrap around her waist,

“What are you doin up monkey?”

(Chris' P.O.V)

My eyes flickered open, my wife’s head tucked into my neck, with both my arms around her. Placing a soft kiss onto her forehead I turned my head to see my little princess facing away from me,

“What are you doin up monkey?”

“Nofin dada” Ellie replied cutely, my arms bringing her to sit atop my chest, her cute toothy smile making my heart swell with happiness.

To my side I felt Y/n pepper soft kisses onto my neck, signalling that she too was starting to wake up slowly. Sporting that same dazed look as Ellie, my wife lifted up her head and looked around before settling her head on my chest with a soft smile on her face.

“Hey baby” Y/n croaked out, bringing up a hand to cup Ellie's face as she nuzzled into it.

“C'mere love” Y/n cooed shifting over to create a small space between us, Ellie's face lightening up as she hurried to shuffle into the crevice. Her head laying on my torso, with half her body leaning on mine, Y/n’s arms kept around her waist affectionately.

Y/n who now had her head on my shoulder looked up at me, leaning forward to press a soft sweet kiss onto my lips, one which I greatly reciprocated,

“Wha bout me mama” Ellie pouted, making Y/n and I laugh, the both of us looking at each other before smothering Ellie in kisses on her face.

(Y/n's P.O.V)

Sharing kisses and cuddles with my family mid winter was always a treat, something i’m glad we included in our daily routine. I hugged Ellie tighter to my chest, basking in her soft baby powder scent, Chris’ arms enveloping us as he acted as our personal heater.

His arm rubbed up and down my back lovingly, his hands venturing up his shirt I was wearing, his other hand folded once again behind his back.

“Dads Ponies” Ellie pouted after a while, Chris smiling when he knew exactly what his daughter wanted.

“Okay monkey, let dada just get his phone alright?” Chris sighed sitting up a bit to reach his phone, only to find it vibrating every single second, hell faster if even.

“What on Earth?” He whispered unlocking his phone showing it to me, Ellie had now quietened down instead looking up at the screen with us. Chris’ twitter had hundreds of thousands of notifications over some tweet he apparently just posted, when we were asleep?

“Ellie? Were you on dada's phone” I asked sweetly

“Was only playing alphabet” She smiled turning around to hug into my body,

“I mean she definitely practiced, that’s for sure” Chris laughed showing me the supposed tweet,

“Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzaisjwjis fuck susnduwui baby usnwusjw groceries whensuje love”

“Look mama, alfbet” Ellie shouted excitedly pointing to her work on Chris' phone, Chris' face lighting up and congratulating his little princess for being so smart.

Chris then took it upon himself to take a selfie of us all cuddling on this huge mattress with hundreds of blankets, explaining the funny situation to his fans.

“Alright Ellie, time to get changed” I said slowly sitting up,

“No mama wan' hug” Ellie pouted crossing her arms, which was really her just grabbing her opposite elbows, her eyes already threatening to water with tears.

“After tubby time baby, we can play with toys yeah?”

“Toy?” She quirked with an eyebrow up, already climbing to her feet on the wobbly air bed, Chris’ hands ghosting around her in case she fell

“Tubbies mama, now”

“Alright miss bossy pants m'comin” I laughed chasing after her small body running after the stairs, feeling a large hand spank my ass as I got off the mattress. Gasping to see Chris whistling and acting as if he had just done nothing, causing me to shake my head and run after our little girl.

———

Taglist Tags (Form is up there^^): @inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @sairsei @patzammit @madebylilly @bxdbxtxh15 @tojisbabymommy @dumb-fawkin-bitch @vrittivsanghavi @chrisevansdaughter @kimhtoo17 @itsaylayay1213 @evanstanwhore @mrspeacem1nusone @thereisa8ella @seren-a-ity @pandaxnienke @chrisevansangel @royalwriteroftheuniverse

[mini-jiminie]

Just some thoughts:

Daeun - I'm on the fence. Look I know she seems crazy as hell, but crazy as hell doesn't deny the possibility of dating. To me there are three possible scenarios

She doesn't know jimin and was never involved with him in anyway and is just doing it for clout

they were friends, so she was actually in his apartment, but she's now trying to make it seem like it was more for clout

they dated but it ended bitterly and she's now releasing all this stuff while he's away from the public eye to be petty

I think its interesting that any of the stuff she posts that tries to tie to jimin is from 2019/2020. To me, there is a possible timeline that they dated, it ended badly and that would correlate with negative feelings jimin was having at the time plus the music he was making (like face-off, MUSE being about the idea of thinking you're in love and realizing its not real, etc.). She could very well just be a clout chaser, but I just also don't think its impossible that she's just a nasty ex who is being petty to rile up his fans now that he is away in the military. Kind of indifferent either way, because whatever it was or wasn't is very in the past, even from the stuff she tries to hint at.

Jungkook video - I've seen a couple theories on this

most common is that the girl in the video is a model friend of j*nnie's. I can't confirm this and some people say it was just started by chinese netizens

recently I saw an anon on a jikook blog say that the girl was actually an englsih translator working for bighit who jungkook had been friends with for a long time and she was helping before releasing Golden/doing schedules abroad and that she had supposedly come and left in a couple hours. Liek I said, I only recently saw this theory, so I can't confirm anything details to that.

I could actually see #1 because we actually see an uptick in tkk hanging out during that time. No offense to their bond, they just don't normally hang out much outside of work, so if they both happened to be involved with girls who were friends, it'd make sense why they randomly starting hanging out more. A tumblr jikooker actually found photos very similar between what tae posted in hawaii (where jungkook was present) and photos j*nnie had posted. If true, do we really think jungkook was just thirdwheeling his bandmate? Or was he maybe there because her friend, a girl he was chatting up, was also there?

Not sure about the translator, but definitely not impossible. Does that mean it wasn't romantic? Of course not, but it would beg the question about jungkook and female friends. Like if we think about mijoo (the tattoo artist), he also did the backhug thing. If we believe them, that there was nothing romantic there (which I will give them benefit of the doubt since it was denied by all sides and she supposedly even had a rather public relationship at the time anyway, so it would've been kind of insane for jungkook to be acting like that in public in front of a whole group of friends if it was meant romantically), then this is a thing he feels comfortable doing with female friends and they feel comfortable doing with him. Which for me, would naturally lead to the question of why? Most straight women aren't letting their straight male friends go around back-hugging them. I think you see where I'm going here.

But then that also rolls up into a whole other can of worms when analyzing jikook, which is how many people would even know if they were in a relationship or even just if they were non-straight individually? I think for jungkook, the number of people he would open up to (obviously within reason, he's a celebrity in a homophobic country) would be higher then jimin would, just based on personality. I mean if you saw jungkook's messy insta posts today, you know he's not really afraid of laying it out there, whereas jimin is very private and holds private details very close to his chest. Tying it all back, I don't really think it would be crazy for longtime translator friend who works in-house for BH (assuming that's who the girl was for the sake of the argument) and for a tattooist (which is still a very alternative, counterculter in korea and was probably the first time as an adult jungkook got to experience a more open nonconforming culture friend group) might be in the know IF he was non-straight/dating a man. I will say I don't think jungkook was lying when he he didn't have a gf, just because with his personality I think he's the type who would rather not speak on it or lie by omission than straight up be dishonest about something (not saying there is a right or wrong way for a celeb to handle keeping stuff private, just the vibe I get from jungkook). Either way, it doesn't really give a clear answer because that could mean he just had something casual going on with a girl that wasn't labeled or it could mean he had nothing going on romantically with a woman during that time at all.

Whew, hopefully I didn't lose you with all that speculation upon speculation. That's just the different considerations I've had about the whole thing, none of it really denies or confirms anything related to jikook tbh, just thoughts I've had about the recent possible dating(?) stuff surrounding the two of them. At the end of the day, daeun could be a clout chaser, the jungkook video could be fake or he's secretly hosting gal-pal sleepover parties with all the girlies, and him and jimin are secretly married. Who the hell know with them LOL

Anon, I don’t agree with some of these speculations but, I can see where you’re coming from with some of these.

Let’s hope you don’t piss my anon girlies off too much with this one. They can get quite catty when everyone doesn’t adhere to their borderline cult mentality :)

[lunanoc]

Hey I'm doing some fanlore edits (https://fanlore.org/wiki/Daomu_Biji) and do you have any sources for popular ships in Chinese fandom? I basically just cut it down to pingxie and heihua because those were the ones showing up in 2021 lofter data (https://hardwareabstractionlayer.tumblr.com/post/649989752761810944/the-top-100-ships-in-chinese-fandom-according-to) and like basically ONLY pingxie is on ao3 in any numbers but I'm pretty sure HuaXie was a whole big thing I just can't find a source for it... Thanks in advance!

hi! i don't know if i'm necessarily the best person to answer this question because my incursions into the chinese DMBJ fandom are very curated and basically mostly limited to pingxie spaces, so my knowledge of other ships and their hubs is pretty sparse

that being said, finding centralized hubs to get full numbers and stats from for dmbj ships historically in the chinese fandom is complicated for a number of reasons, one of them being that DMBJ is an older fandom, which means a number of fics were hosted on websites and forums that no longer exist. another is that due to the state of chinese internet, fans also host fics and fan art of ships in closed access forums that are sometimes more or less difficult to gain entry to so as to create safe spaces. that being said, there are still ways to somewhat measure the current popularity of a ship. since this is an ask, i figured i'd turn this into a small informative post if anyone is interested in a surface level overview of what's popular in the chinese fandom by comparison to the english-speaking one. just keep in mind that because of all the above reasons, this is only ever going to be an overview of what's currently popular in general and not everything that exists, because arguably probably everything exists in some capacity, and of course this is all very surface level, so i'm sure someone else could do a more in-depth deep dive, especially if they get around more

disclaimer: because i know some might take this the wrong way, to be clear this is NOT meant to spark any kind of discourse surrounding ships, nor is it here to say that some ships are "better" than others. it's purely numbers i've tried to present as objectively as possible, mostly to provide comparison between two different sides of the fandom that behave differently and have sometimes vastly differing preferences

Chinese DMBJ Fandom Ship Popularity

to start off, i think it's relevant to point out that ao3 isn't the best way to measure a ship's popularity in chinese fandoms even if it can give you a rough idea. it can get you rankings to some extent (and even then it really depends), but the numbers aren't going to be at all accurate considering ao3 isn't the platform of choice for chinese fan fiction for several reasons i won't get into here, but that i'm sure people who've been in cdrama/novel fandoms are probably aware of

so your best bet to get any sort of idea of what ships are most popular is by looking at how they rank on big public platforms, namely lofter and weibo

lofter has yearly rankings like the one OP mentioned that people talk about, and it's a fairly good way to get an idea since it's a pretty popular blogging website for fan fics and fan art. lofter isn't cooperating with me right now, but i'll be using the data compiled for end of 2023 (or as of february 2024) by this bilibili video for the 200 most popular ships on lofter. among those 200 most popular ships, 3 of them are DMBJ ships, and are ranked as follows:

XiePing (not to be confused with PingXie, because yes, chinese fandom differentiates ships by top/bottom dynamic) at #120

HeiHua at #25

PingXie at #2

no other DMBJ ships make an appearance on this list, and if nothing else, it tells you not only that both PingXie and HeiHua are by far the most popular DMBJ ships in general, but also gives you an idea of just how insanely popular DMBJ is in china overall to have three ships in the top of a general fandoms ranking

next we have weibo where getting an idea of a ship's popularity is a bit different, and there are multiple ways to do it, but one of the easiest ones to get an idea is by looking at how high a ship's super topic ranks on both the real time and weekly popularity rankings. super topics function similarly to how communities work on X and aren't tags, so not everything tagged with a ship is necessarily going to reflect what's posted in the super topic and vice-versa, but it still gives something of an idea of overall popularity. looking at the today's super topic ranking in the fictional characters category, again the same two ships show up in the rankings:

HeiHua at #23

PingXie at #5

for the sake of comparison, because it's easier to actually see figures with weibo super topics, i also looked up both other ships that do get some traction in the chinese fandom despite being less popular, as well as ships that the english-speaking fandom tends to talk more actively about (in tumblr spaces anyway)

HuaXie at #174, which has an audience, but the numbers are already very different and speak to the fact it's generally speaking a smaller ship as of now (for reference, 万 that you see on these pictures is a unit for ten thousand, so here 1.1 万= 11,000)

HeiPing (unranked), which is in somewhat of a similar situation as HuaXie, but considering HuaXie is ranked, it's safe to say that's probably the only other ship that's even remotely popular by comparison to the two giants that are PingXie and HeiHua

allXie at #160, which is less a ship and more of a bottom!wu xie enjoyers cocktail that has a little bit of everything under the sun, though is mostly a mix of wu xie being shipped with some of the main male characters (i.e. xiaoge, hei xiazi, xiao hua) as well as other more minor characters such as zhang haike notably. it's not really a thing in the english-speaking fandom, but it's worth mentioning because it does exist enough to be represented

PangXie (unranked), which is quite honestly one of the bigger contrasts between the chinese fandom and the english-speaking one in that this ship is pretty much non-existant, or at least i've never seen fan fiction for it. again, my view of things is biased because my experience is deliberately curated so it's entirely possible there are things i just don't see, but the numbers don't seem to contradict that impression

PangYun (unranked), which i'm providing here mostly because pangzi is most often shipped with yuncai (and usually as a sideship that i can tell), though these numbers aren't necessarily representative of what content exists for this ship, since most things tagged as PangYun are posted to the general DMBJ super topic. if anything this mostly gives the impression the ship doesn't have much of a dedicated following, especially given it's part of the other category rather than the fictional characters category

PingSang (unranked), which is one of the only two ships that have any kind of following that involve liu sang, is also in the other category, and along with PangXie and his other most notable ship, is most definitely a rarepair, which is another notable difference with part of the english-speaking fandom where liu sang ships tend to be both fairly popular and have active communities

CanSang (unranked), which is in yet another category (CP as in couple as in ship), though this one's rarepair status might be explained by the fact that, if you couldn't already tell, the chinese fandom has little to zero interest in secondary or minor characters, and beyond that, the core of the chinese DMBJ fandom doesn't care much for the dramas/live action adaptations and is largely centered around the books, so given the premise of this ship is based in the adaptations, it's not surprising

Iron Triangle at #65 is getting a special mention, not only because it is ranked, but also because it's not necessarily what you think. the 角色 or fictional characters category for super topics isn't limited to ships, so you also have super topics for characters on their own in it. what chinese fandom considers to be the six main DMBJ characters, aka wu xie, xiaoge, pangzi, xiao hua, hei xiazi, and huo xiuxiu, each have their own super topics that are in the top 200. the iron triangle topic is ranked, but it's more in the same vein as those, that is to say it's a gen super topic, not a ship super topic. the chinese fandom doesn't seem to be into polyships in general, so that might explain it

i'm not sure how informative this post is, since i get the feeling some of this information is either obvious or things that people already know more or less, and i'm also not sure it really answers OP's question about finding reliable sources for numbers, but it's a surface level attempt. if anyone has more in-dept knowledge or would like to add onto this with different sources or data feel free to!

[absolutebl]

Hi!

I love your Blog and love to read your takes in everything. So thank you so much for all your Posts and thoughts about the industry etc.

Here is my question: i came across one of your posts where you wrote "actually gay, not bl gay" (it was a Post about Jojo and Only Friends) and while I FELT that I TOTALLY understood what you meant and instantly was like "yes 100% clear" Id love to read and learn more about what this means exactly and why some bls feel quite heteronormative while some dont. Would you mind explain the take on "actually gay Not Bl gay" a little bit? And why some Shows feel just more queer than others (besides the unbelievable stupid "gay only for you" trope lol)

Thank you so much and I hope you will have a nice day!

actually gay, not bl gay

There's actually quite a discourse on this right now mostly originating with @waitmyturtles and @wen-kexing-apologist (Post @killiru references above is here.)

I tend to mostly talk about this in broad brush strokes as a queer lens.

But there's a great ven diagram (which of course I've lost the link to) that approaches the idea of and queer lens by tunneling into its approach and intent:

about queers

by queers

for queers

How do different BLs intersect in different ways with these three elements?

When I said "actually gay, not BL gay" I was alluding to this discourse. Specifically the "about queers" category of BL.

There are characters in BL who read as genuinely gay (as in belonging to the queer family of this terrible reality we live in) and then there are those that seem more performative (to exist in a bubble of fantasy were sexual identity is almost unimportant, only the romance matters, everything is safe sweetness & light). For some queers this can read as manipulative or even exploitive (because it is inauthentic to most queer experiences). For me, it's fine... even desirable. I like the safe bubble. I enjoy the utter delusional escapism of it. Sometimes I will call this sanitized gay. (Since it is designed to make gay palatable to non-gay identified folks e.g. seme/uke.)

A sanitized gay BL may be unintentional but it is nested in origin yaoi and mm romance whose target market has never been the queer community, and whose authors have historically not been members of it, either.

Let's be frank, we queers are generally a terrible target market, we don't have enough spending power - especially not for a piece of pop culture as niched as BL. And as creators we really want our voices to be heard (obvs), which makes us produce content that those unsympathetic or uncaring find uncomfortable. (Yes, I know, fuck them, but also, they have all the money and the entertainment industry is a numbers game.)

So in the arena of office romances, just as an example:

actually gay = The New Employee

sanitized gay = Our Dating Sim

actual gay = Step By Step

sanitized gay = A Boss And a Babe

All of the above have the same tropes, archetypes, and premises. All of them are BL. Some are just... queerer feeling than others. And the characters in those shows (Step by Step and The New Employee) read as more "actually gay."

This has nothing to do with the actors, chemsitry, or how much we may personally like the show (Our Dating Sim is one of my absolute favorite BLs). It has to do with how closely those CHARACTERS intersect with the reality of queerness as we inhabit it today. It will be lots of little touches given to the drama by director and script:

language use,

surrounding friendships (and friendship style),

mannerisms and physicality (specially body language around straights vs other queer characters),

makeup & wardrobe,

facial expressions,

surrounding queer-coded behaviors by side characters,

layers of story nuance that indicate a complicated queer-driven back story.

Markers of specifically a queer identity are given to the leads.

These kinds of BLs are satisfying the "about queers" category. ("By queers" can be difficult to extract because IRL outting is involved. "For queers" is the rarest kind of BL, because making something specifically for us often alienates the majority of the rest of viewership/market. I could be argued that SCOY did this.)

I'm sure I've missed things, but I hope that kinda makes sense?

By/For/About discourse from @wen-kexing-apologist here:

Parts 1

Part 2

Part 3

I'm indebted to them for the links!

More Queer Stuff from Yours Truly

BL Linguistics & Queer Identity - I Am Gay versus I Like Men 

Will BL Get More Honestly Queer? 

Queer lens (from the director) and chemistry (from the actors) in BL (A Tale of Thousand Stars)

Touch & Daisy in Secret Crush On You - Queer Coded Language and 3rd Gender Identity

BL in Taiwan & Gay Marriage

Debating Queerbaiting in BL ( + Devil Judge... is it queerbaiting?) 

BL Actors and the Assumption of Queerness - outing actors, coming out, being out, more:  Is that BL actor actually queer?

So is it really fetishization? straight women loving bl 

Some BL fans are sasaengs, and it’s a problem in this fandom 

BLs That Highlight How Society Treats Queers

10 BLs That Are Honest to a Queer Experience 

(source)

[howtofightwrite]

Greek fire was an extraordinary specific weapon found in a particular time and region, naval combat was primarily an afar of rams (in the medaterriaan with its oar powered vessels) and armed roaring ie: getting as close as possible and just swarming onto your opponents boat to fight in melee, with some archery and whatnot. One of the sucesses of the eventual roman navy was perfecting a sort of boarding ramp to quickly put their troops on an enemy ship

Furthermore, in later periods, there are accounts of skirmishes in the atlantic between rival fleets. In which case the fore and aftcastles on the cogs are used as platforms to post archers and men throwing rocks and iron bars down on opponents ships while others boarded (hence why their called castles and elevated). Theres at least one account (I forgot of which battle) in which an English king boarded an enemy ship then abandoned his own as it sunk.

So, free advice, if you want to remain anonymous, you probably should make sure that both asks go through as anon. Though, I'm pretty sure Tumblr's extended ask length would have let you drop both paragraphs into it. Worst case (and I do realize I'm a poster child for looking like I ignore this advice), but when you run into a word (or character) limit, it's usually a good idea to start editing and trimming down the length until the system accepts it in a single pass. Splitting an ask into multiple parts is an excellent way to lose part of a question, or just make sure it never gets answered in the first place. Cut everything you don't absolutely need.

Either way, I'll err on the side of caution and answer the anon response to preserve your privacy.

I thought I made it clear that Greek fire was a much later invention. It's actually a little frustrating, because you'll see poorly researched history articles which will straight up make it sound like Greek fire was used during the Peloponnesian War. Which, yeah, no. A lot of the major Hellenic wars we think of today were around the 5th century BCE, while the invention of Greek Fire was over a thousand years later.

While you were talking about Greek fire in particular, what you said applies to a lotof weapons throughout history. When we're talking about something like the rapier or the claymore, those are weapons from very specific points in time. It's something to think about when you're mixing and matching technologies to create a fantasy world. No weapon exists in a vacuum, and they all develop as responses to the state of warfare around them. This doesn't mean you can't mix and match pieces you like, but it is something to be conscious of.

While it is outside the scope of the original question (because it's a firearm), one of the more amusing weapons from the age of sail were actual gun blades. These would be musket (usually a pistol), with a cutlass blade mounted under the barrel. (There were also examples that mounted an axe head under the barrel.) The intention was to be able to use the firearm during boarding actions and then switch over to using it as a melee weapon rather than reloading. The design was fundamentally flawed, the weight distribution was poor for a blade, and the (relative) mechanical complexity of the early firearms meant those components were too fragile for serious use. But for a couple decades in the 17th century these things saw limited use.

Now, I do need to give serious credit to A Number of Hobbies, who came back with a trio of fantastic reference articles. Naval Combat Strategies from Shadyislepirates.com, Choosing Naval Tactics for Your Pre-Gunpowder World from Mythcreants.com, and The First Punic War: Audacity and Hubris from the U.S. Naval Institute. So, if you're still wanting more information, those are all excellent resources to check.

-Starke

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[digimonirl]

Do you remember back when the government tried to hide digimon from people? Like, we had made first contact with aliens and the aliens were cool but they just DIDNT want us to know?

Okay so I know this sounds crazy, but it is broadly true. I don't often go into politics on this blog, but this is a point in our history that shouldn't be forgotten and as someone who was alive, albeit pretty young, during the aftermath of DATS I want to make sure people understand where the current system of Unions and the Brigade came from so we never repeat those mistakes.

Let's take a trip back to 1998, when the first permanent Digital Gate opened in what is now the shared headquarters of the Night Crow and Light Fang Unions. Over night the entire world knew about Digimon. This wasn't the first time they had crossed over of course; they had actually been coming through smaller gates opened within personal computers for decades at that point and rumors had started circulating. Everyone was surprised that they were real, sure. I mean it's not everyday a rumor about friendly interdimensional aliens turns out to be true, but people are remarkably flexible when presented with irrefutable evidence. People adjusted to the idea that we aren't alone in the universe and began considering the idea of coexistence.

But unfortunately for everyone involved, some people crave control. And when faced with a variable that they could not control our world's governments pooled resources into a collaborative project, called DATS, which publicly billed itself as a liaison for the entire Digital World but in reality was meant to suppress information about Digimon and grassroots movements for Human/Digimon cooperation. Lies told by DATS included that the Digital World was uninhabitable for humans, virus type Digimon were inherently dangerous, and that high level Digimon would inevitably lose control of their powers and go on a rampage. Now, to you and I dear reader these claims are obvious nonsense but back then we simply had no idea and so DATS was allowed to continue their work unimpeded. In addition to these misinformation campaigns, DATS was also involved in a number of experiments on Digimon which I will not go into for the sake of maintaining a relatively level head about all this. Needless to say, they fucking sucked.

You're probably asking yourself, "If they basically had all the funding in the world and people's ignorance on their side, then why don't DATS still exist today?" and the answer to that is simple. They got cocky. Remember how I said that Digimon had been coming over for decades at that point? Well some of those Digimon and the humans they had managed to befriend managed to infiltrate DATS headquarters, which was conveniently located right on top of a Digital Gate big enough to let through some pretty massive Digimon. Digimon like the Royal Knights.

We're not exactly sure what happened next, but when the dust settled Omnimon made a decree: we were to either negotiate a way to live peacefully, or all Digimon were to leave Earth immediately. I won't go on about the following riots or the founding of the Union system we use now because this post is already way longer than I expected it to be but I want to leave you all with this: question the people in authority. I'm not trying to say there aren't good, honest people in the world who just have your best interest at heart, but I am saying that most likely those people aren't in your government. Compassion and community action should always take precedence over fear mongering, now and forever.

[toskarin]

while I'm on a STGposting kick, here's some lesser-known Hellsinker. soundtrack trivia that I couldn't justify putting in their own posts, pulled partially from old blog entries and also just the game itself (dude trust me)

stuff below the break is written without trying to avoid spoilers, because otherwise it'd mostly just be a huge block of censored text

see below list for bonus notes on certain points

in at least one instance, hiranyon (the name TONNOR was using at the time) played with the idea of having the boss themes start in mono and then explode outwards into stereo after the boss entered the stage. in the end, he opted for the music to make use of hard L/R panning instead, to represent the boss entering through the centre

Segment 1L Boss (F. Rex Cavalier) was titled Keep your dignity, and if that phrase being the title didn't give it away, hiranyon outright confirmed the foreshadowing to be intentional in a blog post talking about writing the song

Segment 4 Boss (Rusted Dragon) was titled Fade away. apostate with an added explanation of the intentional ambiguity in the title, with the apostate (the translation he gives is 背信者) being decided by the outcome of the battle

there was an old track called shrine.ogg which notably didn't sound even a little bit like a stage theme, especially not a stage theme like Shrine of Farewell. the pre-release song which has the most in common with the Shrine theme proper is actually titled boss3.ogg. if you think about the Shrine in the context of being a boss (which makes a weird amount of sense, it just doesn't register as one because it's kind of free-floating), I guess it could come third?

people used to theorise about Aozora/Aoxola, the final boss from Radio Zonde, being Lost Property 771. I don't really believe this is true, but it's worth pointing out that Aozora/Aoxola's hidden phase theme is incredibly similar to Shrine of Farewell, to the point where I wouldn't blame someone for thinking the Shrine theme is a direct arrangement. I'm actually still kind of suspicious, myself

speaking of Radio Zonde callbacks that imply... something? the string section in Fade Away. apostate appears to be an arrange of Opaque Heart from Radio Zonde

there are cat sounds in a startling number of songs. the earlier in the game the song is, the more distorted the cats will be, but they're still almost omnipresent. the most obvious are in the second to last phase of the GARLAND theme where there's a constant choir of cats singing the melody, but you can also hear them in Segment 4 and 5 (both sides, stage and boss theme) if you listen carefully. hiranyon likes to bury them in sections with lots of other instruments

there are, generally speaking, two kinds of cat sounds that I've noticed pop up in the soundtrack. I'm going to call them the "cat piano" and the "meow pad" because hiranyon uses both of them pretty extensively, and it's really obvious what he's doing because he uses them most in songs directly associated with Lost Property 771

most people know this by now and I almost wasn't going to include it, but it feels weird to have a list of Hellsinker soundtrack trivia without mentioning that Past Rising Again (reprised as PAST RISINGS AGAIN) is an arrangement of the boss theme for early bosses in Radio Zonde. it's a distorted version of that theme because you're fighting a duo boss that's meant to resemble the old players, now having been distorted into prayers

the cat screaming in The Great Majority isn't a sound effect playing from one of the enemies. it's actually baked into the song. this probably isn't trivia to anyone who got into the game through the soundtrack, but I felt insane when I listened to the soundtrack and realised this

The Way of All Flesh, being the finale, reprises the game in reverse order. as an aside, all of Hellsinker is synced to the soundtrack (and hiranyon prides himself on this), but it really stands out here more than anywhere else. there's one especially notable bit where the screen flickers, displaying the text "Wherever did you put?" before

-

[1] hiranyon: 盛り上がる前のトコ　公開当初の時点では。音が中央に寄る（圧迫感）→ステレオに戻る（開放感）という　絵に同期した仕掛けを意図したものでしたが。後期のものは音を限界まで横に広げ中央を空けて、ちょうど画面上では音の逃げた跡の。真中手前にボスが迫る、という演出構造にしたつもりでした。

[2] hiranyon: 満身創痍になりながらもそれを気にかけず進む者・それに相対する敵。強くありたいが周囲に押し流されそうな危うさや　そうなりきれずともそうあろうとする姿

[3] hiranyon: そう言われている時点では、その場に居るどちらがapostate（背信者）かは不確定です。恐らくどちらかが膝を折った時、それは決まるのでしょう。

[4] shrine.ogg is REALLY short, almost like it was only expected to loop for a single input screen. this seems to imply that the Shrine of Farewell might have gotten its name from originally being something at the end of a run or stage, like the results screen theme in Radio Zonde, but afaik there's no actual information on this at all and I just like to draw conjecture.

[5] hiranyon being someone who likes motifs and also someone who has specific flourishes that he keeps unconsciously using when writing melodies makes it really hard to say anything like this for sure. he actually complained about his tendency to over-write organ sections in his blog post about about rewriting Fade away. apostate lol

[8] the first instance of the cat piano I can think of occurs in Segment 2b, although it's heavily filtered so you almost have to know what it sounds like in the final boss to pick it out here. the first instance of the meow pad, however, is in the first menu theme

[etirabys]

I've been absent from tumblr for nine days because I was in Philly for a 800 person twitter con (whose constituents roughly map onto the rationalist tumblr diaspora, culturally). I was tweeting up a storm in conjunction with meeting twitter people irl and barely checked tumblr.

The con itself stretched over a long weekend, but I arrived four days early for preparties and stayed two days for postparties. I am on the plane right now, returning home. I got about twelve weeks of normal socializing in nine days. In the last four days I was taking small amounts of Ritalin to get through the day. That sounds bad, but that's how much I valued talking to weird internet people and having unique interactions that you cannot have outside of festivals.

The last iteration of this con last year had 300 attendees. At the time, I had 180 twitter followers, mostly from the times tumblr melted down and everyone including me advertised where they were elsewhere, as insurance. I munchkinned the hell out of socializing at the first con, got an additional 100 active followers that provided enough attention for a self-sustaining poasting reaction, and am at 2500 now.

I'm approximately the same person on twitter that I am on tumblr, except I don't post my erotica (my twitter followers skew more heavily male, so I'm less willing to be sexual) and I'm more strategic about seeking clout. I like to think I stay away from the clout-chasing things I find really gross (like having takes about politics nonstop, or starting beef), but I currently treat getting twitter followers as an enjoyable game.

It's nice to have a place where I'm explicitly seeking power, as it is nice to have a place (here on tumblr) where I'm explicitly not. My tentative plan is to hit 10-20K and then push the "trying" lever to off. I know a number of "microcelebrities" who get no stalkers or murder threats, but can go to just about any major city and have a place to crash, or people to show them around. That is what I want for myself.

I explain this not very flattering thing as context for what the con was like for me.

Most of the time, I exist socially the way most people do – avoiding risks and being discreet with dissent to keep the peace. I think people go to events like this one or Burning Man to get a freaking break from having to do this – as long as the con is full of reasonably mature and interesting people, the atmosphere becomes wonderful when they coordinate to drop the pretense for a week. I ran into a person who had a bad interaction with my acquaintance a few years ago, and told him I thought poorly of his actions but wanted to hear his side of the story. (The ensuing interaction was illuminating and pleasant.) A guy came up to me and observed that he'd made several conversational bids this year and last year, I had seemed to dislike this every time, and asked if I would prefer he never approach me again. We proceeded to have an extremely autistic debugging conversation, in front of several of his friends, about whether we should speak again in the future. (The solution: yes, he can try again, but pick a question from Askhole – don't inflict small talk on me.) I ran up to Famously Evil-Alien-Vibes-Having Economist Robin Hanson and said, "I have nothing to say to you in particular, but I find you interesting and I want to hang out," and then we argued for an hour about the fertility crisis. After asking for blessing to say something negative, I told a blogger whose blog post that I'd otherwise really liked that there had been one aspect that I found disingenuous. We had a good back and forth after I said this.

What I found so addictive about this con is that my popularity-seeking drive and my honesty-seeking drive – both of which I somewhat repress most of the time – were not only expressible, but in harmony. It is quite inappropriate to be super open and openly autistic in most social contexts. Here, I could say exactly what I meant, and as long as I delivered it in the right way, people would like me for it. The conversation where the guy started with "You don't seem to like me, should I never talk to you again?" should by most predictive measures have been awkward and unpleasant – but I got the sense, steadily, that he (and his friend who eventually joined in) liked me for how I was responding to him. All I had to do was, literally, just say what I really thought, and it somehow all worked out.

[clovermarigold]

Daggers & Daffodils Chap. 28

To those who are reading this on wattpad and AO3. I highly suggest checking out https://www.tumblr.com/blog/clovermarigold Which is where I post my works on Tumblr. I have extra content for my other series and may decide to do the same for this one if it garners enough interest. It is also much easier to send out announcements there, so you'll be more likely to know when new chapters will be released, what delays there are, as well as participate in polls that directly affect the plot. As a bonus, I am currently taking requests, so if you have questions about the fic, maybe want some head cannons of our favorite berserker drop on by!

think i might have outdone myself with the fluff in this one. also, BACK TO REGULAR LENGTH CHAPTERS

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other, eyes fliting from the number of dragon hunters guarding the edges of the ship to your friends on the deck bellow you. It was clear they had tried and failed to escape. What made the situation worse was the fact that Heather seemed to be the one to foil the plan. Beating Astrid in a one on one. Something Tuff would not be letting her live down, despite being unarmed while Heather had her axe.

The whole situation felt wrong, being betrayed by such a close friend. You couldn't help but feel a bit petty. She had been so mad at you for 'not being honest' about your relationship with Dagur, and now here she was. Aiding him in his deranged mania, capturing and selling dragons, all the while preaching about being a happy family together?

She was furious with you, and suddenly she was yours and Dagur's biggest supporter. It didn't feel right. But regardless of how it felt, what mattered now was getting of this ship. Heather had convinced Ryker to make them work on the ship, an uncomfortable feeling settling in your gut when Dagur kept you from inheriting the same punishment. The idea of special treatment felt wrong in of itself, and you would much prefer working if it meant you could see Silver Tongue. 

The ship was on lock down now. Sneaking out would be near impossible, and that wasn't even taking into account the berserker currently attached to your hip. Deranged as he may be, he was smart. He kept you on a shorter leash than you gave Scabbard on wash day. 

There was always some part of him resting on you, whether it be a hand loosely playing with your fingers, an arm casually draped over your shoulders, or you 'least favorite' his head latched onto your neck, his chin hooking over your shoulder to keep you in his arms in front of him. 

The two of you walked the ship, Dagur rambling about floral arrangements, invitations, and other wedding chores. It was clear that though security was tight, the guards were all tasked to individual prisoners, focusing on one rather than communicating with the others. In this case, dividing and conquering would be your best bet. Knowing your brother, he was no doubt formulating a plan to break you and the others free. But how long would that take?

"What do you think?" you were caught off guard by Dagur's question. Was he talking to you? Of course he was, but you weren't exactly listening, "I don't really care". Dagur's smile dropped, giving you a once over. He was thinking something, you were sure. But whatever it was, he made no comment, only pulling you in closer to his side as he sped up your pace, choosing to refocus his attention to patrolling. 

Well, that was the opposite of what you needed.... Wait. The opposite of what you needed! It would only be a matter of time until Hiccup came back with his plan of action, whatever that was, so why not make things easier for him.

"I'm sorry" he paused your pace to shoot you a shocked look, "I just... Don't feel comfortable with all these people possibly eaves dropping".

He switched to a more concerned tone, "It's only temporary, you won't have to worry about them for long" the crazed look paired with the ominous warning left you on edge. Biting the inside of your cheek you pushed down any mixed feeling you had and decided to commit to your half-baked plan.

"Personally, I would pref-" he cuts himself off when you wrap yourself around his arm. "I don't like Dragon Hunters" you state bluntly.  His opposite hand moved to rest on yours, currently wrapped around him, "We can go back to the room".

"No!" you paused, recollecting yourself, "No. I don't want to go back in that room again... I need fresh air". You shoot a glare at a hunter you catch staring. Dagur notices too, grip tightening ever so slightly.

You don't catch what it is, but Dagur must have done something, because in a matter of seconds, the hunters on the back half of the ship excuse themselves. Mission complete, with the back half completely unarmed the ships integrity would be compromised. All that was left was to keep it that way. 

A deep breath sounded from the man beside you. You knew him well enough to tell he was in thought. About what, you had no idea. But considering it was Dagur, that was probably for the best. 

You pause, thinking of what to say, "Is she happy with you?" was all you could come up with. And it was an important question in your mind. Heather had been very clear in her conflicted feelings about staying with the group. For her to do THIS was completely out of character for her, but at the very least you could get a gage of why. 

"Of course," the way he jerked his head sharply showed genuine confusion to the thought it would be anyway else. 

"I just... want to know that she's ok" not entirely untrue. You wanted her to be as well as she possibly could. So, strangling her unconscious would feel more rewarding. You mentally chastised yourself for thinking something so cruel about a friend. Then again, was she even still your friend after this. 

"Y/N", it wasn't anything new, but it always felt a bit wrong when he called you by your name. He only ever did it when he was trying to point out 'flaws' in your beliefs. Even when he said it to tease you, he did it in a way that felt like a nick name or a term of endearment. You don't like how much he's been saying it. Every time he says it the pit in your stomach feels a bit larger.

"I promise you; I will never do anything to hurt our family" it was said seriously. Something that felt foreign and uncomfortable on Dagur. Not even threatening, just a solemn oath. Granted you saw the irony in the promise, with him actively trying to kill your brother. But you suppose that was just because in Dagur's logic Hiccup wasn't a part of your 'real' family. 

It didn't excuse anything, but at least you were learning a bit more of how his insane and unruly logic worked. The fact that you were likely the one to know it best concerned you to no end. 

Not knowing how to add to the conversation and emotional bombshell that just happened, you contented yourself to tightening your grip around Dagur's arm, slightly leaning your head in as well. 

To your surprise, Dagur didn't take this as a sign or excuse to tease, make a move, or even comment on anything. Instead, he stayed silent, quietly watching the horizon. Though you did feel his thumb ever so slowly beginning to move up and down on your wrist.

It was... peaceful. Actually, now that you think about it, this might be the most calm and gentle moment you've had in months. Sun shining a warm blanket on your skin, mist cooling you in waves, and the faint sound of Dagur's heartbeat mixing with the ocean.

It made your mind wander. Back to when you were kids playing on the cliffs. Chasing each other because one of you wouldn't stop cheating. Getting tired and sleeping under trees instead of going back to the village because your parents would make you go home. Simpler times.

You didn't notice when Dagur's head had moved to rest on yours. But it didn't bother you as much as it should. Just an extra pressure, but not an uncomfortable one. Like a blanket, just heavy enough to make you feel extra safe. 

For a moment you wished time would stop. That you could stay in this moment, free from any expectation or plague of reality the world would throw at you. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case, and you would be pulled from your peace in a cruel and painful way.

A howl sounded from underneath the ship. And not just any howl, you knew that sound, "Silver tongue!". Dagur was quick to try and grip your arm, unfortunately for him you were just quick enough to slip past him and run towards the hull.

"You have no idea who you're messing with!" the sound of Astrid yelling from her cell only made your blood pressure spike ten times over as you nearly leapt down the stairs. The scene of horror you were met with was more than enough to shatter any moment you thought you were having. Silver Tongue strapped down in a cell struggling harshly against three hunters as they roughly pulled the arrows from his wing and left him. 

You moved to rush them when a sharp pain emitted from your scalp. "And where do you think you're going" Ryker, "I thought you two were keeping an eye on this one". 

"A mistake on my brother's part" the sharp sting dissipated as you were traded into the much softer hands of Heather. "His wounds will get infected if you don't let me treat him" you pulled against Heathers grip to no avail. Looking back, you were met with Heathers dethatched gaze, though you could sense a faint guilt behind her steely exterior. 

"That's the buyers problem. I won't go wasting any supplies on faulty merchandise. Sides" he leaned closer to the cage, causing silver tongue to let out a low growl. "His hides already damaged beyond worth. Suppose his skeleton would make a good center piece".

"I'll kill you" Your thrashing was enough to break out from one of Heathers hands. And had you not been so quickly traded into Dagur's you may have been able to get a good swing in on the bastard, "Heh. Put her in the brig. Before I throw her in a cell". Threats aside didn't stop you from putting up a fight as you were dragged away back into that Odin forsaken room again. 

---------------------------------

"I think that little brat's growing on me" Ryker joked.

"Ryker! Rykeeee" a frown spread across Dagur's face as he felt a twitch in his eye. Oh, so he was going to call his wife a brat after insulting his sister, and him. Well, that wasn't going to happen. Damn the plan, Dagur would rip out Rykers spine for the whole fleet to see if it meant putting him in his place. 

A glare from Heather pulled him from his murderous thoughts. 'Fine. You luck out today', it was a good thing Heather was there. With the exception of you no one else could, or even really knew how to ground him. Ryker would get to live for today, but that wouldn't stop him from making... alteration to the plan, specifically ones regarding what he would do to him once everything came into focus.

 "Little side note" his smile dropped, "If you ever disrespect my wife again or so much as touch her, I won't hesitate to wear your ribcage as my battle armor". The ship went quiet as the two stood still, neither moving so much as a hair.  

For a moment, Heathers fingers brushed over her axe, waiting for a fight to break out. "Hmph, keep her out of my hair" Ryker turned with a huff.

"What hair" Dagur mumbled like a child, only for a smack to hit him upside the head. "Ow, what was that for" Dagur turned towards his sister.

"For almost screwing everything up. I want to beat Ryker too, but we can't do that until we get to Vigo" Dagur rolled his eyes. "I don't see why you're so obsessed with meeting Vigo, the guys not even that interesting. You don't have a crush, or something do you? Because he is way older than you and as your brother I absolutely forbi-" Heather shoved a hand over his mouth before he started yelling.

"No, you idiot. We need Vigo so we can get access to the Dragon hunter monopoly, then when the time is right. WE take over" a sinister look took over Dagur. "Oh, I knew you were a genius, mom would be so proud". Heather bit back an insult and hit him on the back, "Go check on Y/N. I don't doubt she's losing it"

"I don't understand why she's so upset over that overgrown lizard" Heather turned sharply to her brother, "You wouldn't get it!".

"Alright alright, touchy subject" he backed away slowly.

Stopping outside the door he could hear you pacing, gods he hated it when you were worked up like this. Don't get him wrong, it was adorable, and hot. But only when it was, he was the one to work you up. Not Ryker.

knocking lightly, your pacing stopped. "My love" he opened the door carefully, stepping in. "I know you're upset so I thought we coul-" A fist collided square with his nose sending him stumbling back.

 ---------------------------------

You were angry. No, that would be an understatement, you were livid. So naturally the first thing you would do upon having anyone dare to enter your space would be to knock them as hard as you could in the nose. Your dad always said you had a nasty right hook.

It didn't surprise you when it was Dagur, honestly, who else was it supposed to be. That didn't cause you to feel any twisted form of guilt like it usually would. No, if anything you wanted to do it again.

"Wow!" Dagur said shocked clutching his nose, which was now bleeding, "If you don't give me my dragon I swear I'll rip you're damn head off!".

Dagur nodded still clutching his nose with wide eyes, "ok ok.... You're very pretty right now, can I kiss you?". You raised your hand to hit him again, though this time he was prepared, swift to dodge, "Ok I get it. I'll get the overgrown lizard some medicine or something".

"I mean it, Dagur. Real medical attention" he put his hands up assuring you repeatedly. 

"Have you been working you because I think I can smell colors" taking a deep breath you have him a once over. Damn it, did you give this man a concussion?

"Sit on the bed" obediently, without so much a word of argument, Dagur listened. Lifting his chin up you checked his eyes, making him track your finger. ok, visual awareness seems fine. You snaped in his right ear, "Ow, what was that for?".

"Good, you can hear fine. You're being dramatic, you're fine". You moved away from him. How had things been so fast to go to hell. One moment you were having the most relaxing rest of your life. The next you were angrier than you had ever been in your life.

"You know, you're getting a lot better at this" you turned to the idiot in question, "Hitting you?".

"No, acting like... you" you raised a brow. "Actually, expressing yourself. A month ago, you wouldn't even yell at me beyond 'you're delusional, I'm never gonna marry you, Dagur', " he said in a terrible mock imitation of your voice, "Now, you're actually dealing with the real problem".

"The real problem? My problem is that you can't help but ruin my life!" you scream. "THERE! Right there! You're actually learning to speak your mind. Not the rehearsed argument you tell yourself to sleep at night, your actual thoughts" he laughed.

"You're insane" you groan in irritation and half disgust, "Ok. bit of a step backwards but some of that is you".

"Can you shut up" Dagur, to your relief, did stop talking.

Gods, even when he's not talking it's like you can hear voices in your head yelling at you. Wait.... no. Those aren't in your head. "Dragon riders!". Hiccup!

"Stay down here" Dagur shot up, slamming the door behind him, the sound of a lock sliding into place confirming your suspicions. 

You hadn't been successful in managing to make his plan easier, so you would have to hope his plan would work. A scratching at the door grabbed your attention, followed by a small spark of fire through the crack underneath, "Scabbard! Good girl".

She let out a pleased chirp at your praise. "Ok, pleeeeease find a way to understand me and slide the lock open" silence. "I will give you all the fish if you unlock this door", nothing. "I will give you all of Silver Tongue's fish if you open this door" the metal bar rang as it hit the floor.

"You little con artist" Scabbard shot up off the ground, purring as she nuzzled herself in a vise grip around your neck. "I know, I know, no more privacy when I get home huh".

Sneaking upwards you were relieved to see the hunters were preoccupied with Hiccup and Snotlout in the air, allowing you to get into the hull where your friends were already making their escape.

Granted they were still dealing with the few dragon hunters downstairs with you. You trusted them to be able to handle them, your priority was Silver Tongue. Quickly, you slid past and ran to his cell, cutting the ropes as fast as you could. It wasn't clear if the hunters had done it, or if it had been Silver Tongue while trying to free himself, but he was covered in small cuts and scratches, bruising covering underneath his second left wing. 

"It's ok, were going to get you home, and clean you up" he let out a low pathetic growl and huff, he was exhausted, sorry Scabbard but you weren't getting any of his fish.

"Y/N!" Astrid called. "I'm coming. Come on buddy, you got this". Carefully, he pushed off the ground, launching up through the open hatch in the ship Storm fly had blasted open. 

Dagur was right, you had gotten better expressing your anger. And with Thor as your witness Ryker was going to learn just how much anger you had.

---------------------------------

thank you for reading!!! A longer chapter to make up for the wait. Thank you to everyone who has been commenting, I read every single one.

ps. no proofread on this one so sorry for spelling and grammar errors

Taglist

~~~~

@demogorgon-master1

@mj-jabami

@alicee-carter

@amearla

@milenaester14

[fictionkinfessions]

Anonymous asked: I accidentally call my friend “creator” and it’s embarrassing. -Biograft Zeta Unit #blogurl

the rules page https://fictionkinfessions.tumblr.com/rules

Special Text Formatting Please don’t use font colors, tumblr’s optional ‘quote’, ‘chat’, or ‘Lucille’ fonts, tumblr’s Header font style, or excessive bolding or italics, or generated text such as zalgo text or ‘fancy styled fonts’. Confessions in colored font, the above tumblr fonts, or excessive bolding or italics will be posted as unformatted text posts. Some colored text is alright, but full paragraphs will be posted as unformatted text posts. Confessions in generated text will not be posted. [EG Zalgo text] Confessions in typing quirks, such as homestuck typing quirks, are permitted. Please do not make the name(s) and source signatures text extra small, bolded, italicized, or colored. I cannot read small fonts very well.

the custom tags page https://fictionkinfessions.tumblr.com/customtags

Custom Tags Information

An abridged and easier to read version of this page can be found here: http://fictionkinfessions.tumblr.com/ct or on this blog post: https://fictionkinfessions.tumblr.com/post/190619898468/

#1 What is a custom tag?

Custom tags are meant for tracking a series of confessions, or checking if a confession has been posted yet. They are only for anonymous confessions. If you send a non anonymous confession with a custom tag, it will be private replied. Please feel free to resend it.

Custom tags will go in the third tag placement if you wish to track your tag in the search index.

Custom tags will also be used in a person’s Ask Response.

A custom tag can be almost anything, such as: 

a word or short sentence [eg #GreenCatMage]

a random jumble of characters and numbers [#EonGame99]

a single or multiple emoji [#⭐★⭐]

a mix of emojis in addition to words [#six⭐s]

Here is a few examples:

1) Anonymous asked: When I was a young baby, I went to the city to see a marching band. 🔥🐍🔥

2) Anonymous asked: But it’s just the price I pay. Kintypes are calling me, Open up my eager eyes. ‘Cause I’m Mr Brightsidekin -💚TwinkleStar💚 #custom-tag-1

3) Anonymous asked: Well the world starts kinning and it don’t stop kinning. I made like a AU and hit the ground kinsidering. Hey now, you’re an starkin, get your game on, go play. [#customtag-1 #suggested-tag1 #suggested-tag-2]

The first example has a signature and no custom tag. The second example has a signature and custom tag, which will go into the tag used for the kinfession. The third example has no signature, one custom tag, and two suggested tags which will be used for the kinfession. Suggested tags could be names, source titles, content warnings, or general search result tags such as shipping issue, seekin, etc

#2 How do I use a custom tag?

Please place a custom tag at the start or end of an ask message. A custom tag needs a #hashtag at the start of the custom tag so we know it’s meant to be a tag. 

Some words aren’t permitted for custom tags. Before using a custom tag, please check:

if a custom tag is not already taken by someone else

if it’s not a blog url

if it’s a fandom tag - eg character name, ship name, source name, etc

if it’s a slur or derogatory word or variations thereof

if it’s a common search term - blanket, full moon, landscapes, etc

These are not permitted to use in custom tags.

CUSTOM TAGS CANNOT BE BLOG URLS. EVER. NOT HOARDED SIDE BLOG URLS OR INACTIVE BLOGS OR IN USE AFTER A CUSTOM TAG HAS BEEN MADE OR ANY VARIATION THEREUPON. THERE ARE NO EXCEPTIONS IN ANY CASE AT ALL EVER. IT DOES NOT MATTER IF THE BLOG URL IS OWNED BY AN ALTERHUMAN PERSON OR A SYSTEM.

#3 Why was my custom tag rejected?

Most commonly because it was someone’s blog url. Otherwise it could be something from the above list of prohibited words. 

If a custom tag is unusable, it will be posted as a Text Post and given the tag #customtag. If you don’t see your confession appear within 3 days, please check the #customtag tag. If you don’t see it in that tag, please send a message with the custom tag so we can try tracking it down.

Additionally, please only use only one custom tag per confession. You may use multiple custom tags for your kintypes or source, if your System members want their own custom tags, and so forth. Only the first tag in a series of tags will be used as a tag.

#4 Can I reserve custom tags?

No, sorry, we don’t allow reserving, hoarding, or earmarking custom tags. If you want to use a custom tag, please check if it’s available, and please go ahead and use it in a confession.

#5 What’s the difference between a signature and a custom tag and a suggested tag?

Both custom tags and signatures consist of a name, emoji, word, or combination thereof that is used to sign off a kinfession. The difference being a hashtag is used at the start of a custom tag to indicate it should be used as a tag. If there is no hashtag, but I won’t know to use it as a tag.

A suggested tag is a tag recommending the use of specific source, name, Content Warning, or other tags. 

Such suggested tags aren’t required, but are appreciated if it’s about an obscure source, or specific Content Warnings that may not be apparent. 

#6 What if I want to change my custom tag? Can you delete my customtag confessions?

I would suggest simply using a new custom tag. If you want to make sure anyone familiar with your custom tag, send in a few kinfessions with the new and the old tag, then start using only the new tag. Please do let us know if you’re switching a tag.

Sorry, I can’t. There’s no way for me to know if it’s actually you requesting it to be deleted, or someone pretending to be you. If you have sent something off anon and want it deleted, please message us from the blog that sent it.

#7 Wait, I forgot to add the hashtag to my custom tag! Can you add a custom tag to this confession?

If you do, or aren’t sure, please send a message in as soon as you can with keywords so we know which is your confession, and what custom tag to add. The follow up message will be added to the confession to indicate why a confession has a custom tag despite the lack of hash tag.

We don’t add custom tags to posted confessions that do not have the hashtag symbol. Both because we don’t have time to track down every confession, and because it people get confused how custom tags work, and why we didn’t put a custom tag on their confession that doesn’t contain a custom tag.

#8 Can you check if I can use this custom tag / signature / sign off?

No. We will never do that. There is no reason you are incapable of doing this. Other than checking to ensure it’s not someone’s blog url, we do not check if the custom tag / signature / sign off are free to use. Please personally check for yourself. We do not maintain a list of used custom tags / signatures / sign offs, either.

Changelog: page created 8/14/2018 by mod party cat! Updated 9/2/2018 by Mod Party Cat! to add in the amendment to #7 and introducing the use of the generic tag of ’#customtag’. Added #11 on 7/18/2020

Update: rewrote the entire page on 8/28/2020! update 8/31/2020 added the #s 7 and 8 questions update 7 16 2024 minor clarification edits.

[paradoxcase]

@maiden-roar:

I feel like leftists would read "there has never been an individual who is a greater threat to our republic than Donald Trump" and think "Good! I hate our republic" ignoring the part where we aren't going to get a communist revolution, we are just going to get fascism, and fascists historically hate leftists, and currently we have many more fascists than leftists in our country.

And/or they would see this and think "EW! I'm not voting the same as Dick Cheney" It looks bad but it's true, leftism just does not have the numbers to produce change outside of voting and unions (which are greatly benefited by having people in power who are not hostile to unions.)

It won't threaten the republic the way anti-voting people want, it will just replace "flip-flopping between red and blue" with "president for life"

"I don't care if Donald Trump makes himself president for life! Red and blue are the same anyway!!" Ok enjoy the political repression under fascism

Well, I think the people you're referring to as "leftists" here are actually not leftists, and really just accelerationists, and there are accelerationists on all sides of the political spectrum who all just implicitly believe that if society crumbles, whatever it is they want to happen will just magically happen and they all have utterly conflicting ideas about what that is

I'm sure the really dedicated ones will just say something like "Dick Cheney voting for Harris just means that Harris is so right-wing that she appeals to Cheney now" but like, nothing I post on my blog was ever going to change anyone's mind about anything, probably, I'm certainly not fit for taking on the task of actually changing the minds of accelerationists. This was mostly just meant as a humorous thing in the wake of "wow, who knew we'd wind up at 'Dick Cheney is the hero we need, but not the one we wanted'" because I do think that his endorsement will do a lot to convince regular Republicans who don't like Trump to vote for Harris, which is of course a great thing

In a democracy, having the numbers to change things by voting is really the only thing that matters, unless you're ok with ditching the democracy. Like, ok, whatever, say you don't have the numbers to change things through voting, so you overthrow the government in a communist revolution and establish a new one, so now you can either create a new democracy, in which case you're immediately all voted out of office because you don't have the numbers to get your way in a vote, or you install a dictatorship to make sure things keep going your way. Those are the only options. And if you have the numbers for democracy in the first place, you don't actually need your communist revolution, you just keep voting for people you want in office, and eventually you wind up with the policies you wanted. This is like the basic place where the desire for some kind of revolution falls apart, I think. The only time an actual revolution like that could potentially be a good thing is if you're already living in a dictatorship where no one has any political liberties anyway