Some SGA and Stargate SG-1 characters ranked on how likely they would be to be a monster fucker:
You may be wondering, “Hey, Eclipse, why are you making this list?”
The answer is that I like Stargate, I’m in a silly mood, and I’m a monster fucker myself, so that’s why 😌
Since Stargate is sci-fi, for the purposes of this list, I will define a monster as an alien that is non-human — so, anything that is mostly humanoid but has some monster-y features, like a Wraith, all the way to an eldritch horror.
Now here is my non-exhaustive list:
1. Vala. She has 100% fucked a monster at some point and would do so again while Daniel is in the background trying to get her not to.
2. Sheppard. He was this 🤏 close to fucking Todd at some point, and you can’t convince me otherwise.
3. Daniel. He’s one of the most empathetic characters towards aliens, if not the most empathetic. I don’t think it’s a big leap to say that it’d be easy for him to develop feelings for a monster.
4. Rodney. Sure, he’s smart and anxious, however, he’s also dumb and horny. I believe the power of horny could eventually overcome his anxiety and intelligence if he was sufficiently attracted to a monster.
5. Sam. She gets into lots of messy romantic situations, so I could definitely see her getting involved with a monster, even briefly.
6. Carson. I don’t necessarily think he’d fuck a monster because he’s attracted to them, but rather because it would be For Science.
7. Teal’c. I don’t really think he would unless he’d had a long, strong friendship with said monster first.
8. Weir. I just don’t really think she would?
9. Jack. He generally seems the most suspicious of aliens on missions, so I don’t think it’s likely he’d get down and dirty with them.
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"Earth to <insert name>! What are you looking at?" "The most beautiful/handsome/stunning person in the world." for any!!
set post-siege. written because i desperately need john to meet sedge. established but early relationship john/elizabeth
Honestly, John isn't surprised when there's nobody waiting for him when he and the rest of the Atlantis team get released from quarantine on Earth. It's been a long time since anyone had cared enough to go through the military rigamarole of traveling to a random base and waiting an unknown amount of time for him to actually be available, only for the reunion to be awkward and strained by unfamiliar surroundings and security clearances.
He speaks to Ford's grandmother, and it doesn't make him feel better. Rodney introduces him to his sister. In the back of his mind, John is counting down the minutes until he's inside Elizabeth's supposedly crappy (he doubts it) apartment, where he's been invited under the condition that he makes his mom's old rotisserie chicken crockpot recipe for dinner.
Speaking of Elizabeth, John had thought that seeing her in bed illuminated only by the Lantean moonlight would be the most unguarded side of her, but he's shocked that even now that assessment is changing. He turns at the sound of her laughter, just because it's an unfortunately rare sound on Atlantis. When he spies her, she's kneeling on the ground, her arms around a large white dog who's excitedly licking her face.
"Hi, Sedgewick," Elizabeth says, still laughing. Her eyes are closed and she's smiling as much as he's ever seen. "Oh, hi baby. I missed you, girl." She buries her face in the dog's coat, and John sees her shoulders relax. He'd expected to see different sides of his team on Earth, but this is a much faster transition than he'd expected. He feels his heart swell at the sight of an unguarded version of Elizabeth.
"Earth to John!"
He starts, realizing that he's literally only been staring at Elizabeth as she's moved on to talking to the woman holding Sedgewick's leash. "Huh?"
"What are you looking at?"
He can't help smirking at her, stepping closer so that none of their friends overhear him. "The most beautiful woman in the world." In any world, but he guesses saying that aloud would break confidentiality.
Elizabeth turns an adorable shade of pink. "Well while you were brainstorming pickup lines, I was trying to introduce you to my mother."
"Oh." He probably should've guessed that. He shakes the older woman's hand. "Major John Sheppard, ma'am. Pleasure to meet you."
"Likewise. You can call me Katherine." Katherine turns her focus to her daughter with a smile. "A military man. You've finally found someone exciting, Elizabeth."
"Mom!"
"I'm just saying, there's no thrill in dating academics who collect dozens of the same magazine just because they're featured in it. I can say it now, I always found Simon insufferable."
John raises his eyebrows, but then again, he hasn't mentioned Nancy to Elizabeth yet. Between the near-death experiences and then privately celebrating the not dying part, they've been floating on the relief of coming together too much to ground themselves with serious conversations. He suspects this week will change that.
"You know what, Mom, I'm really wiped from traveling today," Elizabeth says, which is a pretty clumsy topic change by her standards. John chuckles. "Do you want to load Sedge up and drive the boxes you brought me over to my apartment? You can meet us for dinner if you want, John's cooking."
"I would love to." Katherine leans forward and kisses her daughter's cheek. "You'll have to tell me all about how the two of you met."
"That's classified, Mom."
"Oh, you're not getting away that easy!"
John laughs as Elizabeth hands Sedgewick's leash back to her mom and starts to walk away. He takes her hand to give it a brief squeeze, before dropping it again. "Why do I get the feeling she's going to win this battle of wills?"
Elizabeth smiles at him. "I guess talking about you all night isn't the worst way dinner could go."
He winks. "I'll make sure to remind her how awesome you are, too."
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SGA Background Character Register: S1
Have you ever thought: "I need another character, but I want them to be canon." Or "What department was that rando in?" Maybe even, "Didn't they die?"
I got you.
Notes:
- This is just Expedition Members.
- Only background characters with names.
- Chuck is considered a bg character. (sigh)
- Canonically female characters have been marked because there are less of them.
- Alive: meaning we never saw them die or been informed of their death.
- All of the scientists are Doctors. (My dyslexia freaked when they all said doctor before their names so I left it unlabeled.)
-Episode lists show all episodes regardless of seasons.
Remember: It’s just me making these so there are bound to be mistakes, if you notice something be sure to let me know! Thanks.
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I like levitating, by dua lipa
Also don't hesitate to share your playlist :)
I’d never actually paid attention to the lyrics until now but god you’re so right
Also I only have an Amazon Music playlist (my mom pays for it and lets me use it so you can take this up with her lmaoo), but perhaps I shall make a Spotify playlist of my faves to share with the class
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