#I missed the strong sexy Lara so much

[stef-gallery]

[simshousewindsor]

ASCOT ADVICE

[Buckingsim Palace, Buckingsimshire 9:50 AM WST]

Queen Katherine: I still can't believe granny Niema is dying!

Zarah, Queen Dowager: It's her time. We all have a time, darling.

Queen Katherine: Mom isn't doing well. Between the Royal Lodge fire, her feeling like she has no place to call home, to finding her place as the new Queen Mother.

Zarah, Queen Dowager: Rowena will be just fine. What about you? This royal ascot guest is quite the pick!

Queen Katherine: What am I walking into, granny?

Zarah, Queen Dowager: Your father was a smart man. He never did business with shady people. Louis, well, I still love him. I trust both of my sons!

Queen Katherine: There isn't much information on her. Martin looked into her, into her husband, and into the deal that got them Glimmerbrook back. Prior to that, she's a ghost! To find out that she was also close with daddy before he died, I need answers. What better way than during a public sporting event!

Zarah, Queen Dowager: You are strong, just like your father. So quick to action and judgement! What is her maiden name again?

Queen Katherine: Stanley. Why?

Zarah, Queen Dowager: Oh, nothing. I see we're taking a shorter walk today. Either you don't want to talk about something or you've had too much coffee.

Queen Katherine: It's Lara...

Zarah, Queen Dowager: You are so much like your father.

Queen Katherine: Lara doesn't understand the stresses I'm under. She expects everything to still be the same, and granny, she's gotten even lazier! Her and Anthony have declined so many engagements. They're unreliable! She also wants more money!

Zarah, Queen Dowager: Your sister is looking for a place in your shadows. She doesn't feel that she belongs, that she has a purpose. She was born second in line to the throne and, with the birth of the twins, is now fifth. I'm sure she also misses her sister. We live complicated lives, my child.

Queen Katherine: Speaking of complicated, where is your cane? The doctor said you've had complications walking?

Zarah, Queen Dowager: It's nothing! He's just being dramatic. Where is your brooch? I think your outfit is missing something!

Queen Katherine: I wanted my outfit to speak for itself.

Zarah, Queen Dowager: I know Ascot is calling! I do miss attending but I am far too weak. I'll be watching on the television! I love that sexy anchor, Cameron Dorly, on SNN!

Queen Katherine: (laughs) Oh, granny!

- - - - - LATER - - - - -

[Easton Racecourse, Balsimore 12:52 PM WST]

Queen Katherine: Grand Duchess! We finally have a moment alone.

Grand Duchess Kamil: Hello, Your Majesty.

Queen Katherine: Enjoying your first Royal Ascot?

Grand Duchess Kamil: I am! My husband and I both are.

Queen Katherine: This was one of my father's favorite engagements. (smug) He is the real reason we're both here, am I correct?

Grand Duchess Kamil: With all due respect, Your Majesty, undertones are not needed with me. There is much you do not know.

Queen Katherine: It seems my father told everyone everything except me, his heir, and now he is gone and I'm left to finish whatever scheme he started. My uncle told me a few things but it appears there is more.

Grand Duchess Kamil: We have much to discuss.

Grand Duke Erik: You should visit Glimmerbrook, Your Royal Highness. You would love the country!

Prince Louis: I'd like that! How is your military?

Grand Duke Erik: We could use some help.

Grand Duchess Kamil: Also, His late Majesty and I were not having an affair, contrary to rumors. The Duke of Kent also knows the truth!

Queen Katherine: (hesitant) The truth? What does the truth of you and my father not having an affair have to do with the Amulet of Amethyst?

Grand Duchess Kamil: I know the Queen Mother thinks we were having an affair. I need her to know the truth. We are cousins, Your Majesty! I am also a descendent of Queen Isabella and Albert I.

Queen Katherine: (gasps)

Grand Duchess Kamil: "I am also a Virtuoso spellcaster."

Grand Duchess Kamil: Princess Catherine had a secret child with a spellcaster during a time, in the 1800s, when spell casting was forbidden in Windenburg. Queen Isabella forced Princess Cate to leave the baby in Glimmerbrook, with its father, and the infant was never seen or spoken of again.

Queen Katherine: I... I don't know what to say.

Grand Duchess Kamil: The infant was a girl, my great-grandmother. Your father knew this, and together we were searching for the Amulet of Amethyst. My great-grandmother died performing a spell with the stone, then it was secretly sent to her grandmother, Queen Isabella, who hid it. The magical stone could be worth §100M simoleons!

Grand Duchess Kamil: Before he died, your father found a clue. We don't know what he found but it could help lead us to the stone. The only problem is no-one has access to the Kings files except...

Queen Katherine:...except me.

Grand Duchess Kamil: The Queen Mother believed the media reports that we were having an affair and has refused to see me. I knew she would not help us.

Queen Katherine: Us?

Grand Duchess Kamil: Yes. Will Gates. There is more you should know.

Queen Katherine: Lunch, Grand Duchess?

Princess Lara: Look there, Anthony! Hickory Blazer has overtaken Bentley Road!

Prince Anthony: Aren't we rooting for Bentley Road?

Princess Lara: (excited) "Yes, but I love a good fight!"

Prince Anthony: Who's fighting?

Princess Lara: "The horses, Anthony! The horses!"

Grand Duchess Kamil: I think that is a lovely compromise.

Queen Katherine: Well, it's a large gamble on my part but in the spirit of Ascot, I'm open to making a deal.

Grand Duchess Kamil: The terms His late Majesty agreed to are perfectly fine!

Queen Katherine: Fine for who? That agreement died with him.

Grand Duchess Kamil: Okay. I'll agree to your terms.

Queen Katherine: I'd like to meet Mr. Gates, also... since we're all cousins.

Grand Duchess Kamil: I'd be happy to arrange that. The Amethysts Quest continues!

Queen Katherine: "The Amethysts Quest?"

Grand Duchess Kamil: "Yes. That's what His late Majesty called it."

Previous | Beginning | Next - continue Heir Ascent (story)

Previous | Beginning | Merged with Heir Ascent - continue The Amethysts Quest (story)

The Royal Ascot Procession

[artisticdemon]

Lara Croft, my childhood hero

Lara Croft is a special character to me growing up. Tomb Raider Anniversary was the first game I ever played on PlayStation 2 back in 2007 and I was 6 years old. It was the first time I saw a female protagonist in a videogame and I looked up to her and wanted to become her. Then Angelina Jolie entered the picture with the live-action movies and that made my love for the character to reach new levels. She is my role model.

Then in 2013 I got the Tomb Raider Trilogy (Anniversary, Legend, Underworld) and I had the time of my life, I still play the trilogy to this day.

She is the embodiment of femme fatale. She is smart, ambitious, determined to achieve her goals, sassy, strong, sexy and just right down badass. I don't know why these traits made her a sex object, to be honest. Maybe when the character was introduced players and probably men just paid attention to her boobs and ass rather than just seeing a strong female character that can kick some ass. I hope you grew up a bit boys because, come on. Stop thinking with your dick it's fucking annoying.

The reboot didn't bother me as much as other people did because it was a new adventure and the origin story about how Lara Croft became the character we all know and love. Do I miss the old Lara? Yes of course but I would never curse the reboot. I will if they decide to keep her the way she is now.

The only problem I have with the reboot is how they took away her dual pistols, yes we had our moment with them when we killed Mathias but that was just fan service. I don't know why the bow and arrow became the default weapon so I'm praying that will change with the new games.

Also, a lot of people say in the reboot she just kills like there is no tomorrow and that just makes me laugh because she always killed the bad guys. You people seem to have forgotten Legend, Underworld and the first games. She kills or lures people into traps. Stop being crybabies for a sec and use your fucking brain to think.

Now this picture has caused a lot of problems among the fans. They say she looks like a man and honestly I don't see that. The only thing they took away are her lips. A bit of redesign is needed, I'm not gonna lie. If they want us to call this version Lara Croft but overall it's not a bad design. I still see Lara Croft and something tells me that this version will be closer to the OG version agewise and mentality-wise. I'm excited. I hope they don't fuck up the story though by going woke. And please bring back her lips.

And now I'm diving into the Netflix series, I'm excited about the series but that design is a no-no, a lot of people call it "Butch lesbian" or whatever that means and I hope they changed it fast because, as I said, Lara Croft is not a butch lesbian, she a femme fatale. So let's keep that in mind Netflix. Even the 2013 reboot was closer to the original design than the other two games.

And I'm gonna say it, I don't want them to make her a lesbian. I just don't, her sexuality shouldn't be the thing we grab on like moths to a flame but I don't want to make her a lesbian. I don't care if I get hate for this, you have your opinion, I have mine. I hope the writers and the audience leave her sexuality alone because that's not what Lara Croft is. She is an adventurer, a survivor, a femme fatale and a woman that takes shit from no one. Those are the characteristics we should focus on and not her sexuality.

Also I see that nowadays that's all what people care about in characters and you people can fuck off. If making your sexuality your whole personality is your thing and for some reason you want to push that to everyone and everything then stay the fuck away from people because you are being an annoying asshole. And everyone around you sees you that way so allow me to say it to you because they won't.

Anyway, next!

I really miss the gymnastic stuff we were doing in the old games, it was fun rolling and doing acrobatics so I hope they finally bring this back and the Croft Manor level! OH I LOVED THE CROFT MANOR!!! I was role-playing while playing. Like Lara had a routine before leaving for a mission and so on. And I have missed changing outfits. Legend has won in that department for me. Actually, Tomb Raider Legend is at the top of my list of favourite video games. I just love it!

I hope the next gen of Tomb Raider games brings us back the Lara Croft we all know and love and grew up with and were inspired by.

One day we will get our Lara Croft back.

[ruby-read]

mid-year book freak out tag! - 2021

best book so far

a court of mist and fury by sarah j maas - 5 / 5 stars

need i say more? it was just so good.

best sequel so far

bitterblue by kristin cashore - 5 / 5 stars

i don't think i have talked about the graceling realm series and how much i love it on here but here i am.

i loved every book in this series but bitterblue stood out to me because even though it was incredibly long, it kept me gripped throughout. there was an unsolvable mystery (maybe im dense though) that kept me guessing for hundreds of pages and just a glimmer of romance which i usually miss when its not there but this stood on its own without it.

i thought bitterblue was an extremely strong character and it was a great ending to a companion trilogy (before winterkeep was announced and continued it). also, loved seeing all of the characters come together at the end and seeing katsa and po pop in and out.

new release i haven't read yet but want to

the nature of witches by rachel griffin realm breaker by victoria aveyard

something about witches and elemental magic just sounds so awesome to me and i am just so drawn to this book.

and i am currently enjoying the red queen series and love a good found family so im hoping to love realm breaker. ive heard mixed things so im gonna lower my expectations a little but still excited.

most anticipated release for the second half of the year

these hollow vows by lexi ryan aurora's end by *** ******** graceling: the graphic novel by kristin cashore six crimson cranes by elizabeth lim the hawthorne legacy by jennifer lynn barnes

idk why i am so excited about these hollow vows but i am and i think it's just gonna be a (hopefully) exciting fantasy romance. im hoping for two sexy men and a bad BITCHHH of a main character.

ive heard only amazing things about six crimson cranes so i am very very excited! i've been waiting for this book i think since january and its almost finally here!

aurora's end (even though the authors are cancelled) i NEED to finish the series then they will officially never receive my money again. the cliffhanger at the end of aurora burning was so incredibly uncool and so now i have no choice but to see what happens in the finale.

the graceling graphic novel. do i need to explain myself?

and the hawthorne legacy is the next installment in the inheritance games series and i really enjoyed the first book! the mystery and the way patterns were worked into it really had me intrigued and i was itching to know what was happening for the entire book. so excited to see what happens in the next one!

biggest disappointment

the crown of gilded bones by jennifer l armentrout - currently on pause/possible dnf

this book was just so boring but also SO much happened in the first 50 pages that i was honestly incredibly confused? and there was just overwhelming info-dumping about the history of the world and an underdeveloped plot. idk i just couldn't get into it (which was really disappointing bc i loved akofaf). thinking of dnfing...

biggest surprise

crown of midnight by sarah j maas - 4.5 / 5 stars

ok so. i really did not enjoy throne of glass. after reading the acotar series and then jumping into throne of glass, i hated the love triangle, the intrigue wasnt enough to get me engaged until the last third, etc. sooo i was even considering not reading the rest of the series. but of course like the sjm stan that i am, i had to. and this one was so good. i wrote a review on it so if your interested in more in depth thoughts go take a peak!

favorite new author (debut or new to me)

kristin cashore!

the way that she writes political mystery in her world is so good. not a single time did i have a correct guess on what was happening. i also loved how her books had strong woman main characters, but they all had agency in a different way. and how the romance subplots were small but enough to keep the romantic in me satisfied, but also didnt take away from the main heroines story. ugh just so good! love u girly <3

new fictional crush

aaron warner (shatter me series by tahereh mafi)

ok i know hes kind of like super crazy and kind of creepy obsessed, but also like.... cmon. hes kinda super hot too. and i kind of love the i hate everyone but you trope....

art credit: @jessdraw.s

new favorite character

lara (bridge kingdom series by danielle l jensen)

her strength, her agency, her ability to unlearn everything she grew up believing, her power. an amazing and complex character.

art credit: @rosiesfables

books that made me cry

a court of wings and ruin by sarah j maas

if you've read this book u understand why. there was a happy ending for our two main characters at the end but the war that ensued at the end of this book was just fucking heart wrenching and so beautiful at parts i will never forget everything that happened.

books that made me happy

heartstopper vol. 1 by alice oseman

i feel like this series is great for young readers (12-17). it teaches about friendship, sexuality, mental health, asking for help, how to offer help, etc. and tons of really diverse representation throughout. i wish this existed when i was younger.

it made me happy to think about young people reading this series and feeling seen and validated. and about how openly alice oseman illustrates difficult topics and how to deal with them. just made my heart swell.

most beautiful book bought/gifted so far

the ones we're meant to find by joan he

i mean... its gorgeous!!

books i need to read by the end of the year

crescent city by sarah j maas

again as a stan i need to finish this before the end of the year bc i have only heard good things and the second book comes out jan 2022.

favorite book to movie adaptation so far

moxie, shadow and bone, brigerton lol (and very excited about along for the ride!!)

2021 reading stats so far...

45 books read

35,000 pages read

11 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ reads

4.13 average rating

thanks so much for reading my mid-year update! happy reading! : )

[medeafive]

Blood and Stone - 22

Masterpost

"Where'd your friend go?" Tony asks, grabbing the chips. "Turned around and he was gone."

 "I don't know, I'm not his babysitter," Natasha returns, nibbling on a carrot. "Can I ask you something?"

"You mean, whether it's bad when your boyfriend finds out you're pregnant and disappears without a word?" Tony specifies, licking his fingers. "Yeah, it is."

Natasha snorts. "Fuck off, that's not what happened. Who's Lara Croft?"

Tony snorts, dropping onto the couch. "Oh, great, so you just pretend to be asleep the whole time. Do you actually eat or is that also some magic trick?"

"Answer my question, you coward," she returns, picking up cucumber slices.

Tony sighs. "Well, that's not exactly up your alley but- it was one of the last video games that came out, couple of years ago. Nobody really cared, because of vampires and all, but I think it would have fared much better otherwise. She's an archaeologist, but the cool kind, looking for hidden treasures, fighting mummies and tomb raiders- actually, that was the name of the game. Yeah, and she's animated but- she was always wearing tank tops and shorts and all."

"Oh God," Natasha remarks with amusement. "That is horrible ."

"Was just a joke," Tony defends. "Yeah, and the lady from Resident Evil fights vampires, in similar garments. You get the picture."

"Have you ever seen me in shorts ?" Natasha questions. "That's ridiculous. So you were just hitting on me while I was asleep."

"Not that asleep, apparently," Tony points out wistfully. "Nah, just pointing out the archetype, extra tough sexy badass and all. And, well, looks really cool from a distance, not sure it's as cool when you get closer."

"You were totally attracted to me when I got here," Natasha recalls. "But then you tried to set me up with your best friend and- I don't know, I never took it seriously. Also, you were with Pepper and I'm really not a homewrecker."

"So vampires are cool but taken guys aren't?" Tony prompts. "Also, if you'd let yourself be set up, you wouldn't be in this mess."

"Yep, and I'd also be either dead or a vampire right now," Natasha returns. "Doesn't that sound great."

"I think you're well on your way to being dead but Bobbi seems to disagree, so what do I know." Tony rubs his forehead. "But- Barton ?"

Natasha snorts. "You're really blowing this way out of proportion. And don't give me that shit that he's older than me, you're all older than me except for Sharon, and I already got that from the vampire."

"The fuck does he think he can tell you," Tony remarks. "When he's basically a hundred years old."

"Eh, don't worry about it," Natasha returns, picking up another carrot. "I mean, he went pretty hard to our side. A traitor of all vampirekind or whatever."

"You just enjoy making people do radical stuff, don't you?" Tony grins. "Manipulating people, having that power. Don't think Lara Croft was like that."

"Yeah, maybe stop comparing me to pixel women in shorts," she counters. "Just trying not to get killed, thank you very much."

"Hey guys." Bobbi turns the corner, yawning. "How are you? Don't listen to Tony."

"What'd I do to you?" Tony complains.

Bobbi snorts, crossing her arms. "Is he telling you you can't be a hunter? Cause that's what he used to tell me."

"Not true," Tony objects. "I said you weren't ready to be a hunter. And then you went out anyway and promptly got hurt."

Bobbi shrugs. "Learning by doing. Honestly, Pepper would have started going out much earlier if you hadn't told her it's too dangerous."

Natasha follows the exchange with amusement, nibbling on her carrot. "It is dangerous!" Tony defends. "And I built her the suit, don't act like I wasn't supporting her."

"Y'all can't deal with loss, is what I'm saying," Bobbi returns. "You only built her the suit because she was about ready to break up with you. Different kind of loss."

Tony snorts. "You know what, I really didn't miss that argument."

"You guys seem fun," Natasha throws in. "I'm good, by the way."

"Yeah, I actually came down so we could do some prenatal prep," Bobbi replies. "Because you only got two weeks."

"What the fuck is that?" Natasha asks.

Bobbi grins, gliding her hands into the pockets of her sweatpants. "Pushing and breathing. Not much more. Certain muscles you need. It's pretty awkward, though, so let's better do it downstairs or somewhere else private."

"I thought you'd just do a C-section," Tony suggests.

"Not if I can avoid it," Bobbi replies. "Not sure we have the equipment for that. Risk of infection, risk of strong bleeding, I'd rather try the vaginal route if it's possible."

"...I'm just gonna keep that joke to myself," Tony suggests.

"Thanks," Bobbi replies. "Very generous of you."

  "Tony said you were doing lady stuff," Pepper remarks, putting her helmet down. "And we want in on that."

"What, you also want prenatal prep?" Bobbi asks, spinning in her chair like she was born in it. "How was patrol? Quiet night?"

"Quite the opposite," Sharon replies, hopping onto a table. "Saw three vampires. One got away. All fledglings, they must have come in from outside town."

"Three?" Natasha repeats with worry. "We haven't seen a single one in weeks ."

"Maybe that was your friend's doing," Pepper suggests, pulling off the shoulder plates. "You should ask him. Where is he, by the way?"

"I don't know, guess he left," Natasha admits. "He'll come back sometime."

She hates how vague that sounds, but she really doesn't know. "He ran into Steve, didn't he?" Sharon suggests. "That probably scared him."

Right. Completely harmless explanation. "Oh, but this is great," Pepper remarks, brushing through her hair. "I haven't met so many friends in a long time."

"Yeah, tell me everything!" Bobbi encourages, giggling. "How are things with Tony?"

"Pretty good," Pepper replies, also leaning against the table. "Really good actually. I still have to kick him once in a while but not as often. So I'm pretty happy."

"Kicking him sounds kind of fun, though," Sharon remarks. "Am I wrong?"

Pepper snorts, crossing her legs. "Sometimes. Mostly, it's annoying."

"Still sounds better than when I left," Bobbi insists, crossing her arms. "Honestly, I wouldn't have bet on you two making it. You know, Tony being Tony. Reason enough to dump him."

"He's really improved!" Pepper returns. "Anyway. What about your new guy?"

Bobbi sighs. "Eh, he's fine. Drives me nuts. In the good ways and the bad ways. But it doesn't have to be perfect and it doesn't have to be forever, so it's fine."

Sharon shrugs. "I don't know. Dating someone you hunt with sounds like a hassle."

"Oh yeah, why not date someone you hunt?" Bobbi interrupts. "Like a vampire?"

Sharon giggles. "Oh, come on! No offense, Natasha."

"No problem," Natasha replies, even though this whole situation freaks her out. Like, what is she supposed to say? She's sitting there, stone-faced, just listening and waiting-

"That has to be really weird, though," Pepper states. "Physically weird. Just their body temperature, and everything they smell… and the fangs!"

Bobbi chuckles. "Why not ask? Hey Nat, come on, we want to hear something."

Shit. "Oh, we won't tell," Sharon promises. "Ladies' room promise."

Natasha groans, rubbing her face. "Fine. The… what was it?"

"Body temperature, fangs, weird dick, anything," Bobbi repeats. "The juicier, the better."

Natasha snorts. "His dick's perfectly normal. Though- nah, I'm not sure I wanna tell you that."

Bobbi groans. "You motherfucking tease."

"That bad?" Sharon encourages, smiling way too nicely.

Urgh, fine, she's gonna die sooner rather than later anyway. "Not bad. Just, he always has two orgasms. One with just a little bit of stimulation and then he's still hard, you know, second orgasm a while later, everything normal. But it's always two."

"Oh my God, tell me more." Bobbi swirls in her chair, crunching up her face. "But he ejaculates both times?"

What an ugly word. "Yeah, but not very much. Anyway, I think that's all the vampire stuff."

"But he's cold, isn't he?" Pepper questions.

Natasha sighs, letting her head drop back against the pillow. "Sometimes. Just, when you touch him, he gets warmer? In the beginning, it took a while but now, he's basically always warm around me, even before I touch him. And softer, too, just more human, you know? And it worked on the other black cloak, too, not just on James. I don't know."

"The fuck," Bobbi remarks. "Just around you? No one else? That's creepy."

"I don't think anyone else really touched him," Sharon throws in. "So we don't know. Maybe it's psychological, you know, because he's only attracted to her."

"Yeah, we should test that," Bobbi suggests. "Just hold his hand for a while, see what happens."

Natasha snorts. "Well, ask him. When he comes back."

There's a knock on the door and it takes them all a moment to realize it's not the door to upstairs but the one in the back. Sharon hops off the table. "Is that the room with the ice block?" Bobbi asks. "Is that where you put him?"

"Steve," Sharon replies tensely. Pepper walks to the door. "Yes."

Pepper pulls the door open. It's indeed Steve, steadied against the wall. He doesn't look good but he never really does. "Hello," Pepper starts in her professional secretary voice. "I think Sam is still asleep but maybe we can help you?"

Steve blinks at them slowly. Sharon's knuckles are white against the edge of the table. "Oh, no, I really don't want to bother you, I don't need anything, just- do you mind if I join you?"

"Oh, sure thing." Bobbi gets up and pushes her chair towards him. "Here, sit down. No need to exhaust yourself."

Steve drops heavily into the chair. "Thank you. Uh, you're… you're not Sharon, are you?"

"Nope," Bobbi replies cheerfully, pointing to her right. "That's Sharon. That's Natasha, that's Pepper and I'm Bobbi. You're Steve."

Steve smiles as soon as he sees Sharon. "Oh, hey. I saw you- I don't know how long ago that was. Maybe a few days?"

Yeah, and he talked to Natasha yesterday but maybe he already forgot that. "Hey," Sharon blurts out. "I'm- Grandma is- I'm Peggy's granddaughter. She's my grandma."

Steve just blinks for a while. "I'm sorry, I'm still- oh, the- Peggy? Peggy Carter? From Britain?"

"Yes!" Sharon exclaims. "Sorry. Well, after the war, she got married and had my mom and- well, my mom had me and here we are, I guess."

Steve smiles again. "Oh, I see the- the resemblance now. Is she- How is she?"

Sharon giggles. "Oh, good. I mean, she's getting old but still holding on as always, you know her. I haven't seen her in a while, though, travel is very difficult."

"Oh, I absolutely remember that," Steve replies. "She was so determined and disciplined and smart, of course- oh, but she has to be very old now, the- what year is it again?"

"She's 78," Sharon says. "It's 1999. December 1999."

"Wow." Steve rubs his swollen red face. "That- I won't get used to that anytime soon."

Bobbi chuckles. "Uh, should we let y'all work that out alone or…?"

Steve turns. "Sorry, Ma'am. Are- You sound Southern."

"Georgia," Bobbi confirms. "But I'm not related to anyone. And I don't live here anymore, normally. Transferred to Florence, Italy."

"Oh, and I talked to you- was that yesterday?" Steve turns to her lying on the bed. "Was- It was Natasha, wasn't it?"

"Yep," Natasha replies. "Still very visibly pregnant, so I guess you won't confuse me."

Steve blushes, remembering. "Right. Is- is Bucky here?"

"No, he left," Natasha tells him. "Guess he needed some space, after running into you."

Steve groans. "Right, sorry. Does- wait, he would remember Peggy, too, wouldn't he?"

"James doesn't remember shit," Natasha returns. "Sorry. Not Peggy, not you, not anything before he turned into a vampire. Maybe it'll come back slowly but not right now."

"That's- unfortunate." Steve sighs. "That's probably why he- well, I guess he doesn't want to see me then."

"Natasha is a little harsh," Sharon admonishes. "I'm sure he'll remember eventually and it'll all work out."

"Yeah, after the vampire baby bullshit, nothing surprises me anymore," Bobbi remarks.

Steve blushes again. "Uh, so- what are you guys doing here? You're not from here, are you?"

"Oh, I'm Czech," Pepper replies. "Little village in Southern Bohemia, near the Austrian border. Came to Prague to get a job, ended up at this American company that was just getting started over here- with a really, let's say, eccentric boss- yes, and then the vampires. Let's say it really didn't go the way I planned."

"I'm Russian," Natasha adds. "Or I was."

"British American," Sharon states.

"But-" Steve coughs. "Pepper?"

"Oh, that's not my actual name," Pepper replies. "It's Jindřiška. But none of you can say that, so Tony called me Pepper and that stuck."

"And Tony is the-" Steve prompts.

"You saw him already, he was working on James' arm yesterday," Natasha remarks.

"He used to be my boss," Pepper explains. "He's sort of an engineer, an inventor. His company, the one he inherited from his father, used to produce weapons but he's moved it to energy production, reactors and the like, all of it renewable. Though it feels like he really worked on everything at some point, just like Bruce."

Steve rubs his temples. "Oh man. Who is Bruce again?"

"Our resident doctor," Bobbi replies. "He's brilliant, really. Fury recruited him. He used to study biochemistry somewhere in Sweden but when you break your arm, he'll fix that, too."

"Bobbi is a doctor, too," Pepper points out.

"Yeah, different kind, though." Bobbi shakes her head. "I got a medical degree, too, but I specialize in women's health. That's actually how I got here, because I volunteered in the early nineties when they didn't have enough experts in that around here, a lot of them had emigrated. Well, the thing is, babies tend to get born in the middle of the night, so I had to make spontaneous visits while the vampires are out in the streets. Clint started to accompany me, to convoy me so I could do my job without getting killed and… yeah, I wanted to be a hunter, too. So now I'm both."

"People really have a lot less babies now," Sharon remarks. "Not the world you want your child to grow up in."

Steve coughs, swallows. "Right. Uh, so… what did you do, before, Sharon?"

"Nothing," Sharon replies, smiling. "Just finished school. I've always been a hunter."

"Oh yeah," Natasha agrees. "Me too."

"Oh, but Natasha is probably the best tracker in the world," Sharon points out. "Really. She's been doing this longer than any of us."

How she wishes she hadn't. Maybe then she wouldn't be so tired from it. Steve looks confused once more. "What's a tracker?"

"That's a kind of hunter, someone who's very good at finding vampires," Sharon explains. "In the early days, they traveled, following specific vampires and hunting them down, but these days, there are just too bloody many. It's still useful, though, on patrols. I'm a tracker, too."

"Well, I think now we've got everyone," Pepper remarks. "Except for Clint, he's the one with the bow-"

"The- sorry for interrupting," Steve interjects. "With the bow ?"

Bobbi snorts. "Yeah, the bow. Gotta say, it's efficient because you only need to make the tip of the arrow out of silver, instead of the whole knife. But mostly, he just likes to be special or he'd use a gun. Oh, we used to date, if you didn't notice already."

"And Fury, of course," Pepper adds. "Fury is- well, Fury. You'll know when you see him. Rumor is he was a CIA agent stationed somewhere in the Eastern Bloc, and he just stayed around after. And this is not the first station he's run. But really, we don't know, he's not one to share."

"Could you- tell me about Sam, too?" Steve asks.

"His parents were from Angola," Bobbi tells him. "He came here very young. His dad was- was it agriculture? I don't know, he was some technical expert. They came here as refugees, from the civil war, and his father went through East Berlin to West Berlin to the US, trying to get a green card there. Of course, that took years, so Sam mostly grew up here. Yeah, and then he moved to the US, joined the Airforce, all that. Came back when vampires were starting to become a thing here."

"Oh yes, he said it- there are more here?" Steve states tentatively. "Vampires, I mean."

"Yeah, it started in Russia," Natasha remarks. "And you can thank your buddy for that."

Bobbi snaps around. "Wait, what?!"

"He told me," Natasha admits. "Schmidt sent him and he bit four people in Moscow, four in Saint Petersburg. Eight in total. There were others sent to other countries but those were the first ones."

"That motherfucker. " Bobbi snorts, crossing her arms. "I'm definitely not holding his hand anymore."

Steve blushes. "Uh, were you going to…?"

"Oh, we thought about doing an experiment," Sharon explains. "We were talking about that, actually, before- Well, vampires are usually cold, you know? But Natasha said her friend's not cold when she touches him, so… we just wanted to find out how that works."

Steve blushes even more, probably every time he's reminded his old buddy-new vampire knocked her up. "Oh. Didn't think about that."

"Only eight people?" Pepper repeats. "Really?"

"He thought that was enough," Natasha replies. "And boy it was."

"Wait, just so I get that right," Steve interjects. "Bucky caused a global vampire epidemic?"

Well, calling him Bucky really doesn't help. "Pretty much. He didn't know much about the others. I should mention there's some form of mind control involved, from a vampire to the vampire that bit them, though not in every case. Schmidt bit all of the black cloaks, so…"

"Mind control, too?" Bobbi snorts. "Oh, fuck that. That's bullshit."

All that cursing doesn't appear to be good for Steve, blushing and coughing. "But we don't really know how that works either, do we?" Sharon adds.

Natasha shakes her head. "Well, that's going to be an issue if Schmidt shows up."

"Uh, why would Schmidt- he's the Nazi vampire, right?" Steve asks. "Why would he show up? And what are black cloaks?"

Bobbi groans, rolling her head. "Oh man, we're going to be here for a long time, aren't we?"

  They don't get a lot further until Steve is so overwhelmed and tired he goes straight back to bed. Natasha eats a huge amount of pasta and then falls asleep quickly. She's always so hungry and so tired now, though it got better with the vampire blood. She wakes when someone sits down on her bed. It's dark. She blinks. Oh, right. The warm stone touches her shoulder. She yawns. "Oh, you're back."

He sighs. "Yeah. Sorry I ran. It wasn't about you."

"He was here," she remarks. "Earlier today. And man, you really have to explain that guy everything ."

He chuckles, rubbing his ear. "Yeah. I don't know, I'll figure it out. I mean, I'll have to, whether I want it or not."

"You'll figure it out," she agrees. "And you don't have to become best friends with him at all, just clear the air a little."

He shrugs. "Somehow, yeah. And… I'm sorry, I'm sure you didn't want that reaction from me, about the pregnancy. You must have hoped I would be happier about it."

She sighs. "I don't know. There's no right way to feel about this. I didn't expect you to cheer for something that was really bad for my health."

He takes her hand and rubs it. "You smell better, by the way. Less dead, more vampire. I- I can't smell the baby, I think."

"Maybe that's part of the vampire smell," she suggests. "Look, I thought about what you said, that you can't really do this, and- it's okay. I still want to have it. You're enough as you are. Just love me, and support me. That's all I need."

He smiles, golden streaks flashing in the dark. "Always. I will try to look forward to it, then."

She snorts, placing his hand on her rounded belly. "Oh, yes. I also look forward to when this is over."

[wtf-hollywood]

My first post is a repost. Deal with it.

I wrote this months ago after seeing The Mummy. It was on my main, and I recently have been thinking about other movie rewrites and shit, so, hey, yet another blog.

Lets start with the mummy movie. The antagonist is fucking strong, but the protagonists are lame.

So we’re going to do better. We start by getting a restraining order against Tom Cruise, and a costumer who can do “Sexy, but empowering” for our Egyptian Princess. Then we strike out all references to Set, and instead use Apep, who is basically the evil god of ancient Egypt that these movies keep wanting. We spill some exposition in the mummification scene about how mummification was the ideal method of burial in ancient Egypt, and Ahmanet’s deal was specifically not mummification, but ritual execution and imprisonment, possibly handwaving historical inaccuracy in the law and order part by making it explicit that this whole “bound alive in bandages, put in a sealed sarcophagus, and submerged in mercury” thing was him basically taking his best guess at how to make it as hard as possible for her to come back.

Next, we make our protagonist an awesome archaeologist who isn’t a cis male. Like, maybe we go Lara Croft, but less “tomb raider” and more “properly trained archaeologist who does things by the book but cannot fucking wait to learn shit.” So she finds this site in Egypt, or we can keep the “why the hell is there Egyptian stuff all the fucking way out here!?” thing, whatever, but she finds the site and says “Ho-ly shit, this is a big fuck all prison for someone they didn’t want getting up. I cannot wait to crack it open and see who was such a big bad!” And we get a very speedy montage of her doing basic archaeology, then cut to her cracking open the sarcophagus with a notebook full of drawings and notes about the site next to her.

And I mean, otherwise, we can follow the majority of the 2017 movie outline. We just don’t bring in Prodigium, and we have better characters. And we have actors for any Egyptian characters that are at least vaguely ethnically correct.

Side benefit- we can have some seriously empowering ho yay between the archaeologist protag and the Egyptian princess. Maybe Ahmanet can take a living disguise for a limited time and uses that to try to get close to Archaeologist Chick and we get some very sweet GALS BEING PALS scenes before its revealed that this awesome person is actually the Egyptian princess who wants to unleash Apep on Earth. But would also really like to do that with said Archaeologist chick by her side.

Oh, and we finish up with Prodigium coming in during a mid-credits scene, because lets not fucking pretend we’re not trying to pull a Marvel deal. We could use Dorian Gray instead of Dr. Jekyll, too, because getting some canon bi representation on screen would be kinda cool. So, end of the Mummy, Ahmanet is dealt with, definitely sealed back up and not killed, because we’re establishing an antagonist-based franchise, here, and Archaeology Chick is aware of, but not part of, Prodigium.

Alternatively, we could kick the “Ambition is Evil” trope to the gutter, and let archaeology chick redeem Ahmanet through the power of “Look at this cool new world you could have power over without slaughtering people.” And lesbian cuddles.

For the second movie, we could go with a Creature From The Black Lagoon movie. I mean, Shape of Water just came out, and is essentially an iteration of that creature, but it’s Fox, not Universal, so whatever.

We’re going to keep the Brazilian setting of the ‘54 movie, but we’re going to make a concerted effort to have a primarily Latinx cast. In this version, however, Gillman is some manner of eldritch god. Worshipped by an indigenous tribe centuries ago, but left starved for faith since then. Hell, we’ll throw Western Europe under the bus they oh-so-richly-deserve-to-be-hit-by and say that European conquerors killed the tribe. So the god has been left in a semi-submerged temple for centuries. Alone. And bored.

Now some asshole American has showed up, paying locals to aid their expedition, looking for “aztec gold.” (Plenty of people tell them that Aztecs lived in Central America, and proceed to list off tribes that were located in what became Brazil until they realize the asshole isn’t listening.)

They find this previously completely unknown temple, and the American strides right the fuck in, while the locals are all talking about how important it is, and that they should call the local college, and so on. Then realize that if they don’t do something, Asshole American will strip the place of anything that might be valuable, and destroyed the rest through negligence, by the time archaeologists get there. We could put in a “Blink-And-You’ll-Miss-It” shout out to Asskicking Archaeologist Chick from The Mummy here for a bit of arc welding.

So the locals rush in to look for Asshole American. They carefully shuffle around, and eventually find him.

Or his corpse.

He’s in an obviously ceremonially important basin, with giant fucking gashes in him.

The locals of course decide that there’s some kind of dangerous animal in the temple, and they need to get out. And probably call someone.

This is where they find they are completely unable to find the exit, even though it didn’t seem that big, or that labyrinthine going in.

The movie then plays out like a bit of a slasher, a bit Aliens, a bit Haunted House, while the bored god makes sport of them. Maybe there could be a sort of Saw-like deal, where mostly they’re put in death traps that have an out. Those outs could be various things that strengthen the god, and maybe there’s one big one towards the end where the locals have managed to reunite, and the out is for them to worship the god.

You could even get some Designated Asshole Victims here, maybe through a B Plot about corporate exploitation of nature, or some cartel fucks. This allows the locals to be put in positions where someone has to die, but it doesn’t have to be them. The god doesn’t care who dies, they care that someone kills someone else in a ritual dedicated to him. Maybe one of the locals buys in early because they’re sympathetic to the god’s concerns about the natural world, and a bit radical, and it doesn’t take much for the god to goad them into slitting some corporate exec’s throat.

End of the movie, the locals escape. It’s a personal win. It’s the thing they care about, that they live. The god isn’t dealt with in anything even approaching a permanent fashion, but he’s not powerful enough to be anything more than a monster that haunts that temple. For now.

We could get a mid-credits scene that shows Prodigium monitoring the temple, but taking a “wait and see” approach to it. Maybe they actually care about the lives of the people who live around there and not ravaging the wilderness, and mention that going in would risk undue collateral damage.

There’s no reason you couldn’t make a good, faithful, adaptation of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. I mean, you’d want to skip the part where Frankenstein’s Monster immolates himself after killing Victor, but otherwise, you could just do a straight adaptation.

But, lets say you want a new take.

Why not make it a love story?

Replace Ambitious Asshole Victor Frankenstein with a med student who flunked out after the death of their beloved. Med Student was already into some pretty experimental shit that the admins frowned upon, and Deceased Lover donated their body to science. Maybe Med Student’s friend sees Deceased Lover being brought in, and slips Med Student in to say their last good byes.

But Med Student has other ideas.

They steal Deceased Lover’s body, or at least their head, or brain, and maybe some stuff for the experimental gene therapy and tissue rejuvenation stuff they were looking at before flunking out.

Or hell, maybe Med Student convinces Friend to help. Actually, that’d be pretty cool, especially if Friend’s name is something that is just similar enough to Igor.

Anyway, they make off with Deceased Lover, and they start the work of applying Experimental Gene and Tissue Rejuvenation Tech to Deceased Lover.

And it works.

Mostly.

There are some complications, and Deceased Lover doesn’t recognize Med Student, or Friend, and isn’t too rational, or controlled, upon waking up. Maybe Deceased Lover’s groaning and such draws attention, and between Deceased Lover seeming to have Come Back Wrong, and Someone Coming, Med Student and Friend flee. Deceased Lover lashes out in instinct at the person who investigated, killing them with inhuman strength, and Deceased Lover is alone. They slowly come to full consciousness, and slowly begin to realize that Med Student left them. They brought them back, and then left them, but not before showing an expression of horror and disgust.

Deceased Lover tries to find old friends and family, but is rebuffed in horror by the people who last knew them to be dead.

Then Prodigium gets involved, because someone reported a person apparently coming back from the dead. They attack Deceased Lover on sight.

Overall, the movie plays out similarly to Frankenstein, except, perhaps, in timescale. At the end, Prodigium decides to let Deceased Lover be, provided they don’t become a threat. Prodigium has Med Student’s research, but so does Deceased Lover, and Deceased Lover has realized that there is something about them that makes the living fear them. Deceased Lover’s best shot at not living alone until they kill themselves is to 1) find other monsters, 2) create more of themselves, or 3) join Prodigium.

I personally like the idea that they decide to create their own society, creating a third faction that can oppose both the monsters and Prodigium in the franchise. This could be presented in the mid-credits scene.

The complication with this route for the Frankenstein movie is that you can’t really use the name Frankenstein, because it’s just corny unless you’re doing a direct adaptation. But you could just call it Promethean or something similar, it’s fine.

This is probably a good point to bring in Dracula, and it could be the Dark Universe’s Period Piece to mirror Captain America. We’ll set it in the early 1900s instead of the late 1800s, though, because I forgot about this as I writing, and cars were decently available in the early 1900s, but almost completely unavailable in the late 1800s. Early 1900s still works quite well.

We start with a narrator who is dictating a report on a case handled by  Dr. Van Helsing. It’s a “How We Got Here” intro. The narrator’s voice is feminine, so audiences may expect Van Helsing to be getting a gender lift in this version, but the narrator never speaks in the first person.

We’re going to embrace some parts of various versions of Dracula, and kind of weld them together. We start by making up some history, saying that a Wallachian prince set out in a deranged, and desperate mission to establish a hold on what would become the British Isles. He managed to build a castle there, but was lost to history otherwise. The reason he wanted to do this is not given particularly straight, but we use some bad christian eschatology, and have it be some kind of religious quest, because we’re totally going to embrace the whole blood drinking/eternal life thing from Christian tradition as an impetus for Dracula’s origin.

So, Prince Dracula is some mad Wallachian prince, maybe he’s actually exiled, and he goes and builds a castle in the British Isles on a shaky religious justification. We get a very bare cliff notes version of this in the intro, and it really just sets up why in our next scene we see a British real estate agent walking up to a castle in bad disrepair, on a small island in the middle of a lake. Hell, we’re going to go super symbolic, and make it a caldera lake. I honestly don’t know how likely it is for a caldera to exist on the British Isles, but, eh, fuck it.

So, the real estate agent is writing to their fiance over breakfast in their B&B, explaining that the castle was owned by some super private individual, and pretty much completely unknown to the outside world until recently, when said owner was committed to an institution and his property liquidated. So now the agent’s firm has acquired the land, and they’ve been sent to determine whether it’s a better investment to tear the castle down, or repair it.

Deep inside the castle, they find a very odd chapel. It looks normal enough at first glance, but a closer look reveals that every saint has a monstrous face, and angels and demons have traded places.

Also, there’s the altar, which seems to be hollow.

The Agent who is completely untrained in archaeology cuts themselves while looking the scene over, deeming it “creepy as fuck,” and making a note of it before moving on. There’s a close up of the blood dripping through a crack in the altar, and a sound that Agent dismisses as just the settling of an old building.

As it gets dark, Agent calls it a night, and heads back to their B&B, where they get various ominous warnings about that island. One of which is that its known for having vicious wolves who only come out at night. Which Agent dismisses as ludicrous, because wolves have been extinct in Britain for a decade at least. The person who mentioned it just gives a knowing look and walks away.

Agent goes back the next day to continue their work. They note that things are slightly different in the chapel, but doesn’t think much of it. Figures a bird knocked shit over, or something.

Time gets away from Agent, and they find themselves walking back to their car after the sun has dropped below the trees of the surrounding forest. And they hear a howl. They dismiss it. Must be hearing things. Then there are more. They hurry back to their car.

It starts to rain. Hard. And the road goes through winding forests, and there are those howls, getting closer. There’s a quick shadow bolting across the road, making them lose control for a harrowing trip across the bridge from the island to the ring, and a sudden peal of thunder distracts Agent just as they make it across, causing them to crash into a tree. They call a tow, but wind up having to walk to the B&B in the rain when told that the area has no drivers on the road and he’ll have to wait til morning.

Next day, he gets a cab, and we get to play a little homage to the carriage in Francis Ford Coppola’s 1992 movie. Back at the castle, shit has definitely changed, and now Agent is seeing apparitions. Also, there’s some weird old man there, who introduces himself as a descendant of Dracula, and a relative of the man who previously owned the castle. A relative whom holds a copy of the deed, and persuasive arguments about the ownership of the castle. But he’s less interested in arguing over some small sum of money than he is in purchasing property in London and moving some of his more prized items there.

And then it plays out pretty similarly to the Dracula story, but with more “deal with the devil” and “dark inversion of communion.” Yes. More. Agent’s Fiance gets bit, and becomes a vampire. Van Helsing is called in, and is in fact a woman, but her voice doesn’t match the narrator’s. Dr. Van Helsing can totally be a woman, there were tons of women doctors in the 1800s.

Dracula starts a reign of terror on London, and Dr. Van Helsing has to reach out to others for help. Fortunately, she has a group of learned men and women, mostly women, who gather to trade stories, collaborate, etc. Mostly after going on expensive expeditions that polite society considers extremely wasteful and pointless. Their motto is “Prodigium de monstrum” (ess. “Prodigy out of monsters”), and they’ve proudly taken on the name The Prodigal Circle.

In the fight, Van Helsing dies, but Dracula is defeated, partially because of Mina’s ability to fight on his level as she resists his control.

Finally, it is revealed that Mina is the narrator, who has taken Van Helsing’s position in The Prodigal Circle, guiding their transition into a vigilant order from Van Helsing’s notes and instructions after being inducted by Van Helsing in one of her vigils over Mina when Mina was her patient.

The mid-credits scene shows Prodigium scientists removing Van Helsing’s body from storage, preserved through something between magic and science, as Mina, who doesn’t look a day older, supervises from above..

That is four fucking movie premises. And I think that’s enough for tonight. If there’s interest, I could write up premises/outlines for Wolf Man; Prodigium, the conclusion of Phase 1; and maybe a start of Phase two.

[pixelgrotto]

Modern Lara could use a dash of old Lara One of my more recent accomplishments that’s sure to turn heads at future job interviews is this Steam review that I wrote for Rise of the Tomb Raider. I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but I do think that it’s a very fine review. Indeed, it spent the past 30 days as the top review on the game’s store page, and has, at this moment, an 85% “helpful” rating, along with a stunning two persons who found it funny. If you read the comments, you’ll even see that a few people plagiarized what I wrote and reposted it as their own. Didn’t know that Steam review plagiarism was a thing!

The reason why I only have an 85% helpful rating is probably because some folks were annoyed with my take on the game. I did give Rise a thumbs up in the end, but I also had a lot of criticism, and wrote that I liked Tomb Raider 2013 a lot more. Maybe this is a controversial opinion, but I think it’s fair to say that a lot of people have controversial thoughts over these two reboot games. People either seem to adore them for updating Lara Croft and ushering in more action, or hate ‘em for cancelling out the old Lara and making everything feel too much like Uncharted. It’s gotten to the point where you now have fans making an entire HD remake of Tomb Raider 2 that actually looks fantastic, simply because they miss the more deliberate puzzle-solving gameplay of the past, as well as pre-reboot Lara herself.

But judging by the upcoming Tomb Raider movie (which is already getting blasted on social media for its poster, which makes our protagonist look like a giraffe), 2013 Lara and the more action-orientated approach for the franchise are here to stay. Speaking from the POV of someone who's fond of old Lara and watched my brother design his own Tomb Raider fangame back in the day, I actually don’t mind this new school take. I’m one of those people who dug the big action scenes of TR 2013, and I also liked how that game made Lara into more than just curves stuffed into a pair of teeny weeny short shorts. It wasn’t entirely perfect, since she kept getting hurt to the point of insanity in order to make the players care about her. And in some ways, all the devs at Crystal Dynamics really did was trade her trendy persona of old for what passes for timely and popular characterization in today’s media. In other words, say goodbye to the sexy/badass mid-90s action heroine, a la the chick from Witchblade (there was a Witchblade x Tomb Raider comic crossover, btw), and say hello to the strong female with the bow and arrow, a la Katniss from The Hunger Games or Ellie from The Last of Us. 

But even if new Lara wasn’t entirely original and shared the stage with a cast of supporting characters who were all walking tropes (you’ve got the spiritual native Hawaiian guy, the grizzled former mentor, the mustache-twirling TV exec who’s going to betray everyone), she had a nice character arc at the end of the day. Seeing her go from being defenseless in the wilderness to using a rocket launcher to plow down mobs, all while screaming “DIE, YOU BASTARDS,” was great. Best of all, she never stopped fighting for her friends, who eventually became likable despite their tropeyness, and after a time I really did believe the whole “innocent 22-year-old becomes a hardened survivor” shtick. 

In Rise, Lara sadly seems like another character entirely. The game’s audio logs hint that she’s suffering from some form of PTSD due to the events of the first game, but instead of exploring these concepts in a mature manner, the writers decided to saddle her with simplistic daddy issues, which she rants and raves about nonstop. Worst of all, it’s implied that she’s now estranged from all of the characters in the first game, except for spiritual native Hawaiian guy, who exists to remind us that Lara needs to stop brooding and pushing everyone away. In other words, she’s transformed into my least favorite interpretation of Batman - the one where he’s grim, overly obsessed with his parents and an asshole to all of his sidekicks. Even though Lara kinda resolves some of her daddy issues by the end of the game, she ultimately feels unlikable and a little...boring. 

Rise of the Tomb Raider was supposed to be a 20 year celebration of the series, and as far as graphics and overall mechanics go, it did okay. But the characterization of Lara herself was a failure in my eyes, and I would love for Crystal Dynamics to take a look at the older games for the upcoming Shadow of the Tomb Raider. (Currently the only game to have its title leaked by a dude looking at his laptop on the subway.) Yes, pre-reboot Lara was known more for her double Ds than her deep thoughts, but she was never dull. Whether she was quipping one-liners or sarcastically shooting the camera at the end of Tomb Raider 2, she was always likable at the very least, and one got the sense that the devs weren’t forcing us to take her too seriously. The new games could use a tad of this tongue in cheek confidence, especially since Lara is getting progressively more and more experienced, and is presumably going to end as an expert raider by the time we’ve reached franchise fatigue. I understand that Crystal Dynamics is probably loathe to do this, and they seem to have made it clear in the plots of TR 2013 and Rise that these outings are supposed to be very serious emotional experiences with little room for humor. This is an admirable goal, sure...but when the characters themselves aren’t engaging, not everyone’s going to stick around to be emotionally invested.  So bring back a dash of the old Lara in the next game, and don’t think that this means she has to go back to being a tantalizing pinup girl. Merely mix the best of the past with the best of the present. Perhaps have her start wearing her old red spectacles or toting her dual pistols some time over the course of the 20 hour story. Have her outgrow her angst, murmur a few confident one-liners, and welcome back old friends from TR 2013, like Sam, the MacGuffin of the story who’s totally absent from Rise. It would be a fine way to bring this franchise reboot full-circle, and if done properly, it could please both the new fans and the ones who are making that HD remake of Tomb Raider 2. 

Basically, I’m telling Crystal Dynamics to follow the same strategy that the Bond movies used for Skyfall, because if it worked for 007, it can work for the other finest gun-packing character to represent Great Britain. 

All screenshots taken by me.

[sorrowsflower]

Okay, I finally got around to making this. Well, this’ll be a long one, ‘cause anyone who’s seen my posts knows I tend to ramble. I was tagged by these awesome peeps: @francesca-wayland, @equusgirl, @thestorywelovebest, and @adler-holmes

Rules: Complete the survey and say who tagged you in the beginning. When you’re finished, tag people to do this survey. Have fun and enjoy!

1: Are you named after someone? According to family legend, I was named after a cute little girl with blond pigtails that my Mom saw in a magazine, which is why I am a Filipina with a Russian name. My middle name is from a saint, whose birthday was supposed to coincide with mine, but I came out early (story of my life: I never do what I’m supposed to when I’m supposed to).

2: When was the last time you cried? Too personal, sorry. Moving on...

3: Do you like your handwriting? Yeah. Sometimes looks like handwriting from an old-timey journal. Some people say it should be a computer font type.

4: What is your favorite lunch meat? I never really adjusted to the American diet (’cause I’m a picky eater), so given the choice, I will always eat rice and Filipino dishes for lunch.

5: Do you have kids? No, but I do have a baby girl I loved in the orphanage I used to work in whom I still consider “mine” in a way. Even though she has forever parents now, I think of her every now and then. Also, I have a baby cousin that I am co-parenting with other cousins. It takes a village!

P.S. If I do have a son, I shall name him Nero. So, if you come across a weird kid named Nero in the future, he’s probably mine.

6: if you were another person, would you be friends with you? I honestly have no idea. I like to think I would, but given how weird I am, I probably wouldn’t.

7: Do you use sarcasm? What do you think?

8: Do you still have your tonsils? Yup. They’re probably somewhere back in there. Wait, let me look. Aaaahhh...

9: Would you bungee jump? Lol, I get dizzy just riding a roller coaster. Once, maybe. Just to experience it.

10: What is your favorite kind of cereal? I don’t really eat cereal (again, picky eater), give me a traditional breakfast of garlic-fried rice, eggs, and Filipino sausage, yum.

11: Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? If we’re talking sneakers, nope. I like to slip them on and off quickly.

12: So you think you’re a strong person? I think everyone is strong, in their own way. There are many kinds of strength and each are tested in different ways. So, yes.

13: What is the first thing you notice about people? Usually the eyes. Eyes can tell a lot about a person. Then facial expression.

14: What is the least favorite physical thing you like about yourself? My stomach rolls. Sometimes I feel like the Michelin tire mascot when I sit down, yeesh.

17: What color pants and shoes are you wearing now? Pink shorts and bare feet. I’m in bed.

19: What are you listening to right now? Magic Man by Heart, and Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien by Edith Piaf. I love both, one is so undeniably 70′s rock and roll twisted sexy, the other is a warbly classic.

20: If you were a crayon, what color would you be? I have no idea. Maybe something in the turquoise or teal department. 

21: Favorite smell? As a kid, it was the Dama de Noche (night-blooming jasmine) from our backyard, I always stayed out late just so I could smell the flowers. Even now, my favorite scents are jasmine-based. Or citrus-based.

22: Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? Um... the apartment manager. Glamorous.

23: Favorite sport to watch? Do cheer squad competitions count?

24: Hair color? Jet black.

25: Eye color? Looks black from afar, but up close, dark brown with dark rings.

26: Do you wear contacts? My eyes are too sensitive and get irritated by them, so I’m stuck with my glasses until I can get LASIK or something

27: Favourite food to eat? Filipino home cooking, no question. Though Vietnamese food is a close second, and Italian, mmmm. Cajun cooking is also excellent.

28: Scary movies or comedy?

A healthy dose of each. 

29: Last movie you watched? 

A double feature of The Passengers and Underworld Blood Wars. Semira is my new baby and her wardrobe is my wishlist.

30: What color of shirt are you wearing? Pink with ‘Hollywood’ in fuschia letters. I swear, I don’t usually wear this much pink.

31: Summer or winter? I prefer summer in the winter, and winter in the summer.

32: Hugs or kisses? Both.

33: What book are you currently reading? Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides and Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami. Both are exquisite in very different ways.

34: Who do you miss right now?

My Mom.

35: what is on your mouse pad? I’m using a laptop right now.

36: what is the last tv program you watched? Murder, She Wrote with a client. Angela Lansbury is a gift.

37: What is the best sound? Off the top of my head, I love the violin, the cello, the electric guitar and the sax. Can’t think of anything else right now... Oh, wait! Benedict Cumberbatch’s voice! And Lara Pulver’s!

38: Rolling Stones or The Beatles? ... Led Zeppelin. Lol. Actually, I don’t subscribe to just one band or just one genre. I listen to whatever appeals to me: classical, rock, gospel, indie, Broadway, jazz... except country (not too big on that).

39: What is the furthest you have ever traveled? Well, I traveled from the Philippines to the States, but hopefully that’s not the extent of my travels. I have extreme wanderlust.

40: Do you have a special talent? I like to think of myself as a jack of all trades (though I’m really not, I’m just pretentious ;p).

41: Where were you born? In a cinema (lol, almost). Which would explain a lot.

Thanks for tagging me!

Okay, I’m terrible at tagging people, and I don’t know who’s been tagged already, so I’ll just tag @elinorx, @lyrangalia, @randombiochemist, @bitchlettearyamaryne and anyone else who wants to do this :D

[ourmightydreams-blog]

Witch or Sexy Kitten?

“Miss Representation”, a 2011 documentary directed by Jennifer Siebel Newsom aims at showing how the mainstream media portrays women and also the under representation of women in positions of power. The way women are represented in the mainstream media has lasting effects on young girls and the way they view themselves into adulthood, a very powerful fact. A few of the points I wish to expand upon are the political economy of the media conglomerates, how self objectification leads to efficacy issues, and the Hollywood roles and stereotypes that exist for women on TV and in film. Although the preceding points do not encompass all aspects of the film, I believe these connect with me on a more personal note and need further exploration. It is important to remember that six year later these issues still are quite present, potentially more so, and to deny that or believe it is not true is wrong.

           Political economy can have many different meanings depending on the context with which it used, however, in the framework of “Miss Representation” the political economy is situated around the major media conglomerates in the United States and how that transpires into our system of advertising. Deregulation allowed for major media companies to converge thus allowing them more power and lower expenses based on their holdings. These consolidations have potentially harmful effects in that what happens when communication or new ideas or controversial views should be circulated but are not profitable for an organization (Campbell, Martin, and Fabos, 2015). This effect leaks into advertising. Advertisers have created a heightened sense of anxiety in women, to make them feel inferior or in need of changing. This strategy is intentional and harmful because younger girls seeing these advertisements may not be conscious of the messages they are receiving. They grow up feeling as though they are not thin enough, or their hair is not blonde enough, or they need to lose weight all of which are preposterous. The profit based ideals that surround advertising for women are disappointing to say the least because they don’t aim at empowering women or who she may as a person but at what she looks like and what she looks like alone.

           Second, “Miss Representation” goes into detail about women in politics and the future of women in politics in the United States. One of the women interviewed stated that women have much lower political efficacy or the idea that their voice matters. When women do not believe that they’re voice matters they do not bother to speak up and this leads to less political representation. For such a progressive country like the United States we have nowhere near accurate political representation of women and especially women of color. The documentary proves this in a series of graphics that puts the US way down on that list. When women are not accurately represented in their government the course of history changes because certain issues are favored over others. It is not fair to say that a middle-aged white man can make a decision about an issue like women’s healthcare it does not work. Women approach problems in different ways than men and that brings new perspective into our political climate. A women is politics does not have the democratic legitimacy she should because for so long now women have been repressed and objectified to believe their voice is not as important as their male counterpart. This will change and it must.

           Lastly, I will explore the roles and stereotypes of women on TV and film. One of my favorite moments from the film was when various women discussed the archetypes of women we see in film and on television. This particular archetype was referred to as the “fighting fucktoy” archetype. This encompasses characters such as Cat woman and Lara Croft who on the surface seem to be strong, protagonists but are hyper sexualized by their clothing often ending up with some sort of love interest. It is as though media outlets are trying to create these roles but cannot shake the sexist patterns that have followed women’s roles for so long. The film stated that only sixteen percent of women were protagonists in major films and if they are they are usually the bossy females who gave up her family for her work. These stereotypes are perpetuated into our society and effect how women view themselves.

I would like to close with the example from the film taken from Sex and the City the movie. Miranda is shopping with Carrie when she stumbles upon the Halloween costumes for adult women. She looks at the options and notices it is either a witch or a sexy kitten. Carrie responds with “you said a mouthful there, sister”.  I like this dialogue because it shows that women are increasing their awareness of this disparity that exists and not allowing it define who they are. It is so important for young girls and older women as well to know that they have so much to bring to the world and it has nothing to do with their physical appearance. This movie I stated may be more relevant not than six years ago because of the recent elections and elections to come. The rhetoric that surrounded Hillary Clinton’s looks was devastating for me to watch as a college undergraduate. It was not only the news articles after news articles that were written about the color of her pantsuit but the more subtle aspects likes the verbiage used to describe her actions versus her male counterpart or the attempts by other men to discredit her accomplishments by not acknowledging them. This is sad and it does not have to stay this way because women are much more than witches or sexy kittens.

Works Cited

Campbell, R., Martin, C. R., & Fabos, B. (2016). Media & culture: mass communication in a digital age. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin's.

[medialiterates]

Witch or Sexy Kitten?

“Miss Representation”, a 2011 documentary directed by Jennifer Siebel Newsom aims at showing how the mainstream media portrays women and also the under representation of women in positions of power. The way women are represented in the mainstream media has lasting effects on young girls and the way they view themselves into adulthood, a very powerful fact. A few of the points I wish to expand upon are the political economy of the media conglomerates, how self objectification leads to efficacy issues, and the Hollywood roles and stereotypes that exist for women on TV and in film. Although the preceding points do not encompass all aspects of the film, I believe these connect with me on a more personal note and need further exploration. It is important to remember that six year later these issues still are quite present, potentially more so, and to deny that or believe it is not true is wrong.

           Political economy can have many different meanings depending on the context with which it used, however, in the framework of “Miss Representation” the political economy is situated around the major media conglomerates in the United States and how that transpires into our system of advertising. Deregulation allowed for major media companies to converge thus allowing them more power and lower expenses based on their holdings. These consolidations have potentially harmful effects in that what happens when communication or new ideas or controversial views should be circulated but are not profitable for an organization (Campbell, Martin, and Fabos, 2015). This effect leaks into advertising. Advertisers have created a heightened sense of anxiety in women, to make them feel inferior or in need of changing. This strategy is intentional and harmful because younger girls seeing these advertisements may not be conscious of the messages they are receiving. They grow up feeling as though they are not thin enough, or their hair is not blonde enough, or they need to lose weight all of which are preposterous. The profit based ideals that surround advertising for women are disappointing to say the least because they don’t aim at empowering women or who she may as a person but at what she looks like and what she looks like alone.

           Second, “Miss Representation” goes into detail about women in politics and the future of women in politics in the United States. One of the women interviewed stated that women have much lower political efficacy or the idea that their voice matters. When women do not believe that they’re voice matters they do not bother to speak up and this leads to less political representation. For such a progressive country like the United States we have nowhere near accurate political representation of women and especially women of color. The documentary proves this in a series of graphics that puts the US way down on that list. When women are not accurately represented in their government the course of history changes because certain issues are favored over others. It is not fair to say that a middle-aged white man can make a decision about an issue like women’s healthcare it does not work. Women approach problems in different ways than men and that brings new perspective into our political climate. A women is politics does not have the democratic legitimacy she should because for so long now women have been repressed and objectified to believe their voice is not as important as their male counterpart. This will change and it must.

           Lastly, I will explore the roles and stereotypes of women on TV and film. One of my favorite moments from the film was when various women discussed the archetypes of women we see in film and on television. This particular archetype was referred to as the “fighting fucktoy” archetype. This encompasses characters such as Cat woman and Lara Croft who on the surface seem to be strong, protagonists but are hyper sexualized by their clothing often ending up with some sort of love interest. It is as though media outlets are trying to create these roles but cannot shake the sexist patterns that have followed women’s roles for so long. The film stated that only sixteen percent of women were protagonists in major films and if they are they are usually the bossy females who gave up her family for her work. These stereotypes are perpetuated into our society and effect how women view themselves.

I would like to close with the example from the film taken from Sex and the City the movie. Miranda is shopping with Carrie when she stumbles upon the Halloween costumes for adult women. She looks at the options and notices it is either a witch or a sexy kitten. Carrie responds with “you said a mouthful there, sister”.  I like this dialogue because it shows that women are increasing their awareness of this disparity that exists and not allowing it define who they are. It is so important for young girls and older women as well to know that they have so much to bring to the world and it has nothing to do with their physical appearance. This movie I stated may be more relevant not than six years ago because of the recent elections and elections to come. The rhetoric that surrounded Hillary Clinton’s looks was devastating for me to watch as a college undergraduate. It was not only the news articles after news articles that were written about the color of her pantsuit but the more subtle aspects likes the verbiage used to describe her actions versus her male counterpart or the attempts by other men to discredit her accomplishments by not acknowledging them. This is sad and it does not have to stay this way because women are much more than witches or sexy kittens.

Works Cited

Campbell, R., Martin, C. R., & Fabos, B. (2016). Media & culture: mass communication in a digital age. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin's.

[midnightbookreviewsco]

By: Felicity Heaton Length:   234 pages Publication: November 26, 2016

My Review

I have never read a God book before. Nothing about Greek Gods, or anything close. This was my first and I loved it. Ares, Yes!!! He was a man after my heart, he was dark, sexy, brooding and I wanted to devour him. Ares and his brothers are all assigned a door to protect, all around the world. Ares is assigned the New York door and he protects it against Demons that want to enter from the human world.

In the beginning of the book, there is one particular Demon that gives Ares a hard time. The Demon steals Ares’s fire and during this same fight, our innocent heroine Megan is dragged into this battle. She ends up saving Ares, and gets further pulled into the chaotic world of Gods.

One thing that I love about Felicity’s books is that they are so fleshed out. Everything is covered, and she leaves no rock unturned.

As I digress, Ares and Megan have an instant attraction. Ares without his fire has mixed feelings about his missing powers. On one hand, his power is all he knows. It’s like if you were suddenly missing a limb. Ares knows that it just doesn’t feel right, but there’s another part of him that feels relieved. In the human world, his fire powers manifest based on his emotions. In the Underworld, his powers aren’t as intense to manifest based on his emotions. In the underworld, he has more control over his fire abilities.

Now, his fire abilities have been stolen and although Ares knows that he needs to get it back, his brothers urge him that he needs to get his abilities back; Ares can’t help feeling excited that he can actually touch someone without burning them. Yes, it’s been centuries since he has been able to touch ANYONE. Not even his own brother’s who are God’s just like him. Which also means, a women’s touch he hasn’t experienced in centuries and guess what, Megan just happens to be in his house.

I really enjoyed this book. However, there wasn’t much dialogue between the characters. You knew what Ares was thinking and Megan, because half of the book was inner dialogue and thoughts. I didn’t mind the sex scenes and it wasn’t overdone. Keep in mind, Ares hadn’t had a woman in centuries. From his perspective, indulging in sex whenever he gets the chance with a woman who just happens to be tangled in his world, why not.

As the story progresses, the world is revealed, giving the readers more insight into what is going on. You aren’t left in the dark, and you meet all of the brothers. They were all interesting Gods, and you can tell an awesome series is on the horizon.

Book Summary

Ares (Guardians of Hades Romance Series Book 1)

Prince of the Underworld and Lord of Fire, Ares was banished from his home by his father, Hades, two centuries ago and given a new duty and purpose—to keep our world and his from colliding in a calamity foreseen by the Moirai.

Together with his six brothers, he fights to defend the gates to the Underworld from daemons bent on breaching them and gaining entrance to that forbidden land, striving to protect his home from their dark influence. Caged by the manifestation of his power, held apart from those he loves by his own fire and starved of physical contact, Ares lives a cold existence driven by duty and the desire to return to his world.

Until his world collides with a daemon who steals his power and a mortal female who shatters the ice around his heart and awakens the true fire within him—a soul-stirring passion both dangerous and seductive.

Megan has wandered far from her home, driven from everyone she loves by the devastating realisation that she is different to them all. Unsure who to trust in the world, she keeps to herself, until a fateful stormy night brings a temptingly handsome warrior crashing into her life and into her heart—a warrior who seems to hold powers more frightening and marvellous than her own.

When the New York gate comes under threat, and Ares is put to the test, will he choose his duty and regain the power he needs in order to save his world or will he choose the desires of his heart and sacrifice his fire so he can be with the woman becoming his whole world?

Paranormal Romance Books in the Guardians of Hades Series: Book 1: Ares Book 2: Valen – Coming in 2017

About Author

Felicity Heaton is a NEW YORK TIMES, USA TODAY and International Best-Selling Author writing passionate paranormal romance books and series for adults.

In her books, she creates detailed worlds, twisting plots, mind-blowing action, intense emotion and heart-stopping romances with leading men that vary from dark deadly vampires to sexy shape-shifters and wicked werewolves, to sinful angels and hot demons!

If you love your angels a little dark and wicked, her best-selling Her Angel romance series is for you. If you like strong, powerful, and dark vampires then try the Vampires Realm romance series or any of her stand alone vampire romance books. If you’re looking for vampire romances that are sinful, passionate and erotic then try her Vampire Erotic Theatre romance series. Or if you like hot-blooded alpha heroes who will let nothing stand in the way of them claiming their destined woman then try her Eternal Mates series. It’s packed with sexy heroes in a world populated by elves, vampires, fae, demons, shifters, and more. If sexy Greek gods with incredible powers battling to save our world and their home in the Underworld are more your thing, then be sure to step into the world of Guardians of Hades.

Fans of paranormal romance books by authors Lara Adrian, J R Ward, Sherrilyn Kenyon, Gena Showalter, Larissa Ione, Kresley Cole and Christine Feehan will love Felicity’s books too.

Connect with Felicity at her: Website: http://www.felicityheaton.co.uk Blog: http://www.felicityheaton.co.uk/blog/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/felicityheaton Twitter: http://twitter.com/felicityheaton Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/felicityheaton/