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eyelessfaces · 1 year

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packing

santiago garcia x reader

summary: you're moving out. santi helps you packing, and it's the perfect occasion to finally talk about everything unsaid between the two of you.

warnings: mentions of sextoys for some reason....... don't look at me like that. sexy times mentionned and implied, the fic fades to smut so it kinda starts but nothing too steamy

tags: f!reader, mutual pinning, friends to lovers

word count: 1.8k

masterlist | taglist | ao3

“Heard you needed help. I’m your man” were Santiago’s words before he winked at you and stepped into your half empty apartment.

You moved out at the beginning of next week, and because the laziness got the best of you you now had to rush to finish packing your stuff.

You had started when you were determined, all energy gone once your back hurt at the end of your first day of packing, and you hadn’t continued since. And this was your mistake.

You could have been wiser and you could have started packing gradually, a bit every day but no– procrastinating had sounded so much better to your “it’s cool, I still have time” ears.

You had started panicking when you realized it was Saturday already, so you had called your friend group in hope that they could help you get this covered, except they all happened to be conveniently busy. Except for one of them.

“I heard Santi’s available” was Frankie's casual reply when you called him to ask for his help, and you swore you had heard him smirk over the phone when he said this.

You honestly doubted Frankie, Benny and Will all happened to be busy, and you firmly believed that for a good reason; they had been doing their best to isolate you and Santiago since you had kissed at Benny’s birthday party.

Even though you had tried to resonate with them by telling them that you were both drunk and that this kiss probably didn’t mean much to Santiago, they had been actively keeping on trying to get the two of you to have a conversation about it.

Except as of now, packing was your priority.

“Thank you for coming to help me. I’ve been procrastinating doing this and I don’t know if I’d be done by tomorrow night doing this all by myself” you sighed, picking up an empty cardboard box and throwing it to Santiago.

He caught it and pinched a smile.

“No problem hermosa, you know I’m more useful helping you here than watching TV naked on my couch. Where do I start?” he asked, walking through your living room and looking at the boxes you had already packed used to support the TV, since you had already emptied and packed your TV stand.

“Would be nice if you could finish the bookcase next to the couch. You can put the CDs with the books, just name the box with both” you instructed, picking up the marker from the floor and handing it to him.

“Yes ma’am” he smiled taking the marker from your hand in a swift motion, determined to start his job and to do it right. Maybe the other boys not being here would actually profit you and you would be faster with your task, no distractions around.

“You know you’re not getting out of here without explaining why you watch TV naked” you said going back to the kitchen where you had started packing all your cooking tools. It was a kitchen opened on the living room, so you were not far from each other.

He chuckled. “Well because why not” he replied as he sat on the floor to empty the lower part of the bookcase.

“Why” you insisted, placing your cooking tools strategically in the box so everything would fit perfectly.

“You know I’m not the only one who does it. I mean– staying home naked. Frankie does it too. Well not anymore since his daughter was born but he used to do it”

“Bless that kid” you chuckled. “Still doesn’t answer my question” you asked looking back at him.

“It’s comfortable” he shrugged. “Things swaying freely” he said turning to look at you, a smirk on his face.

“Okay I’ll stop asking questions” you laughed shaking your head.

An hour and a half later Santiago had finished packing your living room, leaving only the couch and TV surrounded by cardboard boxes. You were also almost done with the kitchen except for a few cabinets and of course still leaving out the essential: a few forks, knives and spoons, and a few glasses and plates.

“Need help for the kitchen?” he asked, sitting on the counter.

“Yep, I was about to empty my mug cabinets. I have a lot” you nodded. You grabbed another cardboard box and sighed when you looked around but didn’t find what you were looking for. “Fuck can you get me the bubble wrap? I must have left it in my bedroom when I was packing the perfume bottles in my drawers”

“Sure be right back” you thanked him before starting to get the mugs out of the cabinet, placing them on the counter waiting for him to come back to start wrapping them.

Santiago went into your room and searched for the roll.

Walking towards your bed, he saw something looking like what he was looking for peeking out from under your bed, it had probably rolled and gotten under there accidentally.

He kneeled down to pick it up, noticing a black plastic box placed under your bed. He chuckled to himself before the pain in his knees reminded him that he couldn’t stay in this position for long, grabbing the bubble wrap roll and standing back up.

“Nice sextoys collection” he threw with a smug smile as he came back to the kitchen, handing you the bubble wrap roll.

You almost dropped the mug between your hands. “Wha– don’t tell me you–”

“No, but now I have the confirmation that it’s really your toy box” he laughed, and even harder when he saw your startled and slightly embarrassed face.

“You want a medal or something” you chuckled, taking the roll from his hands, your own hands not even capable of functioning correctly. You would definitely be losing some mugs after that.

“Hey don’t be embarrassed” he nudged your side. “Ever used them with someone else?” he asked leaning against the counter.

“Jeez Santi” you laughed. You looked at him and rolled your eyes. “Tried to. The guy didn’t want to because he saw it as its enemy. Turns out its enemy did a way better job than him afterwards” you explained wrapping one of your least favorite mug so you wouldn’t regret it if it slipped from your slightly trembling hands.

“Mh I see” he said reaching to grab one of the mugs to help you wrap them. “You just haven’t tried with the right guy yet” he sighed, turning to look at you.

You focused on arranging the box correctly to avoid his gaze as your cheeks heated at his words, trying to discard the feeling. “Probably” you mumbled. Probably.

—

Santi plopped down on your couch, a low grunt leaving his mouth as he did so.

You wiped your forehead with the back of your hand, exhaling in relief.

You were done. It seemed impossible, but here you were, everything packed.

“Wanna drink something as a reward?” you offered before you could sit down for good.

“Got a beer?” he asked raising his eyebrows.

“Yup” you said turning around to grab them from your refrigerator.

You uncapped them and sat down on your couch next to him, handing him his beer. He clinked his bottleneck against yours and you smiled, taking a sip before letting out another sigh of relief.

“Seriously, thank you. I couldn’t have done it without you” you declared smiling at him, and he finished his sip before smiling back at you.

“Eh if I hadn’t helped you who would have?” he rhetorically asked, chuckling.

“Right” you sighed, remembering the sarcastic exclamation point at the end of Benny’s message when he said he couldn’t come, Will’s fake pondering face when he did a quick review of his schedule when you called him on facetime, and of course Frankie suggesting Santi’s presence.

“You know they’re not really busy right” he questioned, turning to you and leaning his arm against the back of your couch. You threw a single nod before taking a sip of your beer. “You know they just want us to figure out what’s going on between us, right?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

You sighed and looked over at him. “I know. I think they made that obvious”

He scratched the light stubble on his chin and put his beer down on the floor before returning to his previous position.

“Then what’s going on between us?” he asked tilting his head, and he smiled when he saw you chuckling. “What? I think we should give them what they want or they’re never gonna stop” he shrugged.

“Okay.” you cleared your throat before going further. “Well, I don’t know what’s going on between us but I liked kissing you” you admitted, immediately taking a sip of your beer after delivering your words. You were almost embarrassed at how fast your heart was beating.

He smugly smiled and looked you up and down.

“As friends?” he asked playfully, throwing his chin at you.

“Dunno, you?” you asked, mirroring his smile, putting your beer down on the floor too. You looked back at him and he shrugged.

“Well all I can tell you is I was drunk but I think I know what I was doing” he said with a single nod, pinching his lips into a small smile. “And I enjoyed it.”

“That’s good to know” you replied playfully, your gaze going back and forth between his lap and his face. “You’d do it again?”

“Do what?”

“Kiss me, idiot” you chuckled, planting your elbow against the back of the couch.

“Question or order?” he asked rhetorically, a smirk plastered on his face. You playfully hit his arm when you realized you had been tricked, and he nudged your side. “Answer the question”

Your face inched closer to his, and you tilted it slightly before answering. “Order” your voice was barely louder than a whisper.

His thumb and forefinger grasped your chin after your implied consent, and it took him a very short time to press his lips against yours once he was sure you both wanted it.

He kissed you and he knocked the air out of your lungs, your hands buried in his graying curls and his hands traveling up and down your curves.

You made out intensely, laying down on your couch, his body hovering over yours as he practically fucked his tongue into your mouth.

“If that wasn’t abundantly clear, not as friends, no” you panted against his slightly swollen lips once you pulled away for air.

“Good. Good choice” he said biting down on his bottom lip, laughing when you yanked his face down to kiss him again. He kneaded one of your breasts while his tongue plunged in your mouth, his thumb brushing against your hard nipple, and you moaned in his mouth as a result.

He pulled away from your mouth, his own shifting towards your ear.

“Hey I thought maybe we could make some use of that box under your bed. It’s not packed yet after all” he whispered, unable to cover the devilish grin on his face or the excitement in his voice.

And in his pants, too.

—

masterlist | taglist | ao3

triple frontier taglist: @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @mystinky-butt @beccabecs521

#santiago garcia #santiago garcia x reader #santiago pope garcia #santiago pope garcia x reader #santiago garcia fanfiction #santiago garcia fic #santiago garcia fanfic #triple frontier #oscar isaac #oscar isaac characters

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sapphires-and-silver-linings · 1 year

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Half-Life | Chapter Two

He didn’t know what to make of you.

Pairing: Plaga!Leon S. Kennedy/F!Chubby!Paranormal Investigator!Reader

Tags: Fluff, Mutual Pining, Angst, Body Horror

Notes: Here's chapter two! This was a lot of fun to write! I hope you guys like the banter and interactions as much as I enjoyed writing them lol. I think our little monster Leon is so cute in this. Please leave a comment if you can! would love to know your thoughts!

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“Wow… that’s… good?” you told him, lying through your teeth, thinking about how you got yourself into this predicament.

Leon had ushered you down the winding path of the village outskirts, the two of you trying to maneuver around a pervasive awkward silence after your initial meeting.

When Leon wasn’t actively trying to intimidate you, he was reserved. Almost… shy?

To break the tension, you had asked if he invited all of his visitors home.

His reply?

“Just the pretty ones.”

You laughed at that, rolling your eyes, and he rubbed the back of his neck with a chuckle before growing more serious.

“This is the first time in a decade I’ve actually talked to someone. Most people… run away before they start asking questions.” His eyes shifted over to you as he added, “As they should. You’re a special case, apparently.”

You scoffed. “You scare them away, though. On purpose. Not my fault I saw through it.”

“Well, it’s for their own good. And my peace of mind. You really managed to catch me off guard.”

“It’s a skill few possess,” you replied with a teasing grin.

He clicked his tongue in response before leading you up to a house with large front double doors. “Home sweet home.”

You released your hold on his arm, watching as he opened them and swept his hand forward, offering to let you walk in first.

What a gentlemonster, you joked to yourself.

You nodded and made your way inside, sliding your backpack off your shoulders and setting it down against the wall before taking in the decently sized space. It was pretty nice, though bare of decorations and a bit worn. Must be great not having to pay rent.

“Mi casa es su casa,” he told you, closing the doors.

Shutting out the day, you came to realize just how dark the place was. Even the windows did little to aid your sight, as the sun was beginning to set.

“Uh, Leon?”

“Yeah?”

Those glowing red eyes were trained on you, even more pronounced in the shaded room. “Is there a light in this place? Or do you just… live like this?”

“Shit,” he hissed, breezing past you to a cabinet and pulling out an array of white candles and a box of matches, setting them on the dining table in front of you. “Yeah, I can kinda… see in the dark.”

He opened the small box and tried to carefully pluck a match from inside, struggling to gain purchase with his claws on the tiny wooden handle.

“Let me,” you offered, gently tugging out his hand and grabbing a match. “And night vision, huh? That sounds useful.”

He seemed genuinely shocked by the action, eyes widened slightly, before clearing his throat and taking a step back to let you strike the match and light the surrounding candles. “Uh, yeah. Guess so.”

Once the wicks were lit, covering the room in a soft yellow glow, you gave him a smile. “So, you were saying about dinner?”

“Right, I’ll get on that. Sit tight.”

That was an hour ago.

And now you sat with a plate in front of you, just finished with chewing a tentative forkful of the charred hunk of meat placed there.

You watched Leon eat his own in a couple bites, simultaneously uneased by the way his sharp teeth shredded the morsel to bits in mere seconds, and fascinated.

Leon pulled a face as he swallowed, sighing deeply. “No need to lie. That was awful.”

“Sorry. I really tried to like it,” you said with an awkward laugh.

“Don’t be. I’m a little rusty in the kitchen. Been a long time since I’ve had company for dinner, you can imagine.” He shrugged. “And if I’m being honest, even as a human, I was never really good at cooking. Much harder with these.”

He held out his large hands, and you stared at the black claws that seemed to extend straight from his fingertips, their edges like daggers. Your gaze remained on them for a few moments before you rose it back to his face.

“I’m guessing you eat your meat raw, then?”

His eyes flicked away from you and he seemed almost ashamed. “Yeah. I didn’t, at first. Tried to keep up with cooking. But I found it easier—and tastier—to eat it… fresh. I’m not human anymore and it’s not like it can make me sick. Nothing can, actually.”

“Ah. And how does one… find that out?” you knew the answer would unsettle you but asked him anyway. It must have been morbid curiosity that drove you.

He looked uncomfortable at your questioning, and you saw his tail swish almost irritably behind him on the stool he sat upon. “I’m not sure you want to know.”

You bit your lip, feeling guilty for your nosiness. “I’m sorry. You don’t have to tell me. But I won’t judge you for it.”

He let out a humorless laugh. “You’d be smarter if you did. You just met me, after all. Who's to say I didn’t lure you here to eat you because I like to toy with my food?”

“What are you, the big bad wolf?” you taunted, unconvinced.

He leaned forward across the table, a long tongue sliding against his fangs as he stared you down, replying in a low voice that sent a shiver up your spine, “I could be. Don’t forget you can always start running, little rabbit.”

You swallowed, trying to keep the nerves that twisted in your gut at bay. “I reiterate, no one has gone missing here in ten years. You’re not munching on anybody.”

“No one who’s been reported. You’d be surprised how many drifters are in the world.” His claws were now splayed out on the wooden surface before you, digging into it.

You being you—a fool of the highest degree—you placed your hand over his, hoping he didn’t grab your arm and sink his teeth into it. “You’re not scaring me off, Leon. And we made a deal, remember? You owe me for being willing to keep my mouth shut.”

He appeared dazed as he focused on your palm pressed to his knuckles, letting out a breath as he pulled away.

“You’re stubborn.” There was a faraway look in his eye as he added, “Reminds me of someone I know… Knew.”

“Someone good, I hope?”

He grinned, the already stretched skin of his mouth somehow pulling further. “The best.”

There was a tension between you that you couldn’t name, just looking at each other, when a loud scratching noise from the front door startled you.

“What the hell is that?” you questioned lowly, your vision zeroing in on the concerning sound.

Leon stood, looking unbothered as he strode over to the door, explaining simply, “Just Wolfie.”

You looked at him as if he lost his mind, standing from your chair and backing towards the corner of the room. “Wolfie?”

Before you could protest, he flung open the door and a flash of white fur came barreling into the house, black feathers flying through the air.

You yelped as it rushed straight to you, closing your eyes and bracing for an impact that never came.

You peeked down through your fingers and saw a large white wolf-dog sitting in front of you, its tail wagging as it offered you the thing in its mouth.

“Good boy, bringing me a crow,” Leon praised in a strangely cute voice coming from… whatever the hell he was. It made something in you flutter.

He walked over to you, leaning forward to pull the dead bird from the dog’s mouth, holding it by its neck as he inspected it. “Now that’ll be a good midnight snack.”

The dog nuzzled your leg and you bent to pet him, trying to ignore the blood that stained his snout (and now your pants). You noticed the gray hairs that decorated his white fur.

Oh, you’re an old little man, you thought, ruffling the dog’s thick coat.

Disregarding the implications of your observation, you decided to poke fun at Leon’s naming skills instead, saying, “Wolfie, huh? How original.”

Leon hung the bird on a rope by its feet in the kitchen, turning to face you with a roll of his crimson eyes. “Don’t start.”

You giggled and he seemed to smile at the sound before glancing at the table and grimacing.

“Sorry about dinner, by the way. That was the last of my meat, unless you want to eat the crow. I might let you cook it, though.”

“It’s okay, I brought plenty of food in my bag.”

“Still, I really suck at this whole host thing.”

“Not threatening to eat the guests would be a great start to fixing that,” you teased.

“I’ll keep that in mind for next time,” he replied sarcastically.

Leon took your plate and placed it on the floor, letting “Wolfie” scarf down your uneaten meal. He stroked the dog on the head lovingly, and despite how odd it was to witness the arachnid-like creature interact with a household pet in such a way, it was somehow sweet.

“Livestock,” he said after a moment, still crouched before his canine friend.

“What?”

“How I found out I liked raw meat.”

“I see.”

He glanced up at you, then, continuing, “The villagers had livestock. Cows, pigs, chickens. Most of them were killed when the town dogs were turned by the Plagas. After I cleared out the parasites, I planned on keeping a few of the farm animals around, for eggs and milk, you know?”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I tried. But then I went a few days without eating, the wildlife in the area having fled during the chaos stirred up by the cult. There was nothing to hunt. Even the fish seemed to be hiding. I… I blacked out. Woke back up digging my claws into a half-eaten pig, surrounded by the bodies of the other dead livestock. I guess I—I guess I went into a hunger frenzy and slaughtered them all. Thank god I hadn’t found Wolfie at that point. I worry what would have happened if he were there.”

Your eyes widened at his confession, visibly stiffening up in horror.

He noticed your shift in demeanor and seemed to deflate, sighing miserably. “It hasn’t happened since. As long as I have something to eat every couple of days, I’m not a threat to you.”

Having witnessed him devour a chunk of venison just minutes prior, you relaxed marginally. “Still, a shame you wasted all that meat.”

He scrunched his nose before responding, “Actually… I didn’t waste it.”

“Wow, got quite the appetite, I take it?”

“Yes, but not that much.”

His evasive answers confused you. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

“Well, I didn’t want to lose myself again after that, so what bodies were left, I skinned and chopped up, putting them in the icebox. But then I ran out of fuel and couldn’t use the generator to power the electricity anymore. The meat went rancid. I was going to throw it out, obviously, but I was getting hungry again and I just… ate it anyway.”

You made a disgusted face. “Yum. I guess if you can’t get sick, you wouldn’t have to worry about food poisoning. Bet it didn’t taste great, though.”

“It didn’t, but meat is meat. I could stomach it and it kept me from going feral again. Small price to pay.” He sniffed as he stood up. “You have every reason to be afraid of me. Disgusted. I know I am.”

He looked away from you, then, his tail and appendages drooping in obvious distress.

You took a shaky exhale and stepped toward him, grabbing his arm and turning him to face you again, the confusion at your willingness to be closer to him after that conversation clear in his red irises.

“I’ll be honest, you make me nervous,” you admitted. “But you’re obviously trying your best to hang on to the more human side of you. And I’ve never met a living cryptid before, so I think I just need time to adjust. That’s all.”

“Could I even be considered a cryptid anymore if you know who and what I am now?” he questioned with a light chuckle.

“I guess not to me, personally. But to the rest of the world? Still a cryptid, I’m afraid.”

“I’d rather not be anything to the world. Except maybe a long-forgotten ghost. Would make my life easier that way.”

“Well, luck’s on your side, cos with how popular my paranormal blog is becoming, I might be able to convince people this place is a bust and they’ll hopefully lose interest in El Escorpion altogether,” you offered.

“You’d be willing to do that for me?”

“For the right price, of course,” you told him, a sly smile on your face.

He snorted. “Of course.”

Things seemed to ease after that, the two of you chatting well into the night once you chowed down on some of the food you packed yourself.

He divulged very little about his life before the transformation, opting to tell you funny stories of his antics in the wilderness instead. He asked you about your work and even after you warned him that once you started rambling it was hard for you to stop, he encouraged you to anyway, seeming to listen intently.

You managed to circle back to why you ended up there with him in the first place, asking him about his run-ins with the occasional visitor. After describing his side of the various encounters, you both got a kick at how dramatically the others told their version of events, and how his cryptid name came to pass.

“The Scorpion, huh?” he asked in amusement, glancing at his own tail and appendages. “Guess they’re not far off.”

Eventually, the candles started burning down and a yawn bubbled up in your throat as you explained controversies in the cryptozoology community, like how some scholars speculated that certain cryptids are actually just very old B.O.W.s.

“As interesting as this has been,” Leon started after you let out another aggressive yawn, “I think it’s time to call it a night.”

“And I think I have to agree,” you said with a smile. “Where’re you putting me?”

“C’mon, I’ll show you.”

With that, he led you up the stairs, Wolfie hot on your heels. He took you to the door of the only bedroom in the building, opening it up to reveal a massive and very comfortable-looking canopy bed.

You turned to Leon, confused. “There’s only one bed.”

He chuckled, plopping down on a blanket folded up on the floor next to his furry companion. “You take it. I’m good here.”

“You… sure?” you questioned tentatively.

“Positive.”

You nodded, smiling at him, and kicked off your shoes, climbing onto the mattress.

You watched him in shock as he fully retracted his appendages into his back.

He turned to catch you staring, eyebrows raised. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

You cringed, feeling ashamed you got caught ogling him and his intriguing, monstrous form. “Sorry, just didn’t… expect that.”

“Never met a cryptid 'til now and you already have expectations?” he joked, leaning on an elbow to look up at you. His already too-short shirt rode up further and you blushed when you noticed his lean, muscular stomach become more exposed, looking away quickly.

“You know what I meant, you jerk,” you chided light-heartedly.

He laughed, the loudest and most genuine one he’d given to you since meeting him. The sound made you feel warm and you weren’t sure why.

“Get some rest, now,” he told you when his laughter subsided.

You stared at him for a moment longer after he turned away from you, curling up around his dog, before you replied, “Goodnight, Leon.”

And with that, you leaned over to the bedside table and blew out the candle you had brought upstairs, darkness blanketing the room.

You stayed up for a while after that, mind going over the day, everything feeling so surreal from the moment you left the car just that afternoon.

You could almost laugh to yourself as you drifted off to the sounds of Leon and Wolfie’s deep, even breaths echoing in the room, a soft wind blowing across the window.

Strange fuckin’ day.

+++

Leon was the first to rouse from slumber, unfurling himself from Wolfie and slowly sitting up.

He was a little stiff from laying in the same position on the hard floor for so long, but otherwise, it had been a good night’s rest.

That was odd, he thought.

He rarely slept at all.

He heard a light snore and turned to find your still-unconscious form wrapped tightly up in his blankets, protecting yourself against the early autumn chill that crept through the room.

Silently, he stood, petting the white dog beside him that snorted in protest at his movements before making his way over to you.

Your hair was splayed out across the pillow, your eyelashes gently kissed your cheeks, and your round face seemed almost cherubic in the morning light that streamed in from the gap of the curtained window.

Sleeping so peacefully with a monster mere feet from your vulnerable form.

He didn’t know what to make of you.

You had clearly been terrified the moment you saw him, and he could rationalize your initial inability to run as a freeze response, but you had heard a rustle in the foliage and got closer. You had seen glowing eyes and reached out. You had called him a liar when he told you he would eat you.

Did you have any sense of self-preservation?

Apparently not.

And then, despite your discomfort around him, you chatted with him like he was just another stranger passing on the street. And instead of ignoring his… differences… you commented on them. Asked about them as one would ask about the weather.

Well, you were a self-proclaimed paranormal investigator meeting a supposed cryptid, after all. It must have been a strange fascination that was causing you to be so curious instead of off-put.

But what confused him the most was the fact you had touched him—gently and with ease—like you would a friend and not a literal monster threatening to kill you.

He looked down at his clenched knuckles, recalling the warmth of your palm as it rested upon the back of his hand. He thought about the way you smiled at him, how you bantered with him and teased him.

After so long by himself, he wanted to bask in this human connection he made despite knowing it was temporary. He prayed that after you left, it would tide him over until he was ready to say goodbye to this wretched existence for good.

He knew not to hope you would come back, or that he’d be lucky enough to meet someone else that would be as willing to talk to him instead of running for the hills.

Besides, as under control as he felt now that he’d had a decade to maneuver in this new body, he wouldn’t want to risk hurting anyone. He had only ever lost control once and it haunted him ever since.

It was his worst fear if he was honest with himself. To lose his mind—his sentience—kept him up at night. Every day, he checked for signs that he might be mentally deteriorating, acting more beast than man. The longer he stayed away from other people, however, the harder it became to recognize what it was to be human in the first place.

All he knew was that he needed to end it before he ever reached that point, going from just threatening to eat trespassers, to ripping them limb from limb the moment he caught them.

He couldn’t stand the thought of innocent blood on his hands after spending his whole life trying to protect it from being spilled at all.

You let out a sigh in your sleep and his gaze focused on you once more.

Despite how ridiculous you were to him, he was grateful to you for being so kind. Even as a human, he knew that was often hard to come across. And sure, he was technically paying you off to avoid attention, but that didn’t mean you had to be friendly towards him, especially after the ill-advised admittance of his eating habits.

He wondered how he would go about waking you, if he even should.

Looked like he didn’t have to, though, when your eyes fluttered open and a scream left your lips as soon as you saw him.

He jumped back, holding up his hands in a gesture he hoped would dispel your fear. Wolfie leapt up, staggering with his old joints, before growling and searching for the possible threat in the room, oblivious to the fact it was Leon who frightened you.

It would almost be funny if you didn’t shift across the bed to get away from him. He could hear your heart thrumming behind your ribs like it had when you first met, and his own sank a bit.

He was still a monster, after all.

“It’s just me,” he said in a low, calming voice.

“Jesus, Leon, you scared the shit out of me!” you replied, pressing your hand to your chest. “Were you watching me sleep?!”

“Sorry, I didn’t know how to wake you up. I was trying to avoid scaring you, but that was a wasted effort.”

You let out a breathy chuckle, and he was pleased to hear your pulse rate begin to lower. “Maybe just call my name next time or something.”

He rose a brow at that.

Next time?

No, you must have misspoken.

Clearly unaware of how you vexed him, you moved to the edge of the bed and pulled on your shoes, stretching your arms as you finally stood up. “Well, c’mon, then. I’m starving.”

You pet Wolfie as you passed him by, the dog having calmed down from the excitement moments prior, before opening the door and strolling down the hall.

Leon just stared after you, his mouth hanging ajar for a moment at your immediate change in demeanor. He still felt guilty that he had frightened you again, though this time completely by accident. It stung a bit, but he reminded himself that you should be afraid of a seven-foot-tall creature standing over you while you slept.

He shook his head as if to clear it and followed you downstairs.

You had pulled out a cereal bar from your pack, munching away at it as you walked around the bottom floor of the house aimlessly. You turned to him as he made it into the dining room, swallowing a bite before speaking, “Don’t have much décor, I see.”

He shrugged. “There were pictures on the walls when I first settled in, but they were all of the people who died in the village and religious stuff. Felt weird to leave it up, so I put it all in the attic.”

“And you just didn’t bother to add anything else?” you teased.

“The only artwork I might consider using is in the old castle, but I didn’t think the hassle of getting it was worth it.”

“Wait, there’s a castle and you chose to live here?” you questioned in disbelief.

He sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “Too big. Plus, it’s just easier to hunt on this side of the lake.”

“A man of simple pleasures. I can respect it,” you told him, nodding sagely before you approached an empty shelf. “I take it there isn’t much literature around here, either?”

“Not really. Mostly journals and religious texts. Not exactly my cup of tea.”

“Anything from the cult?” There was an intrigued glimmer in your eye and Leon wondered if he would ever get used to it.

“All of it, actually.”

“Anything… interesting?” you asked, coming closer to him and clasping your hands together, the empty wrapper of your breakfast forgotten on the dining room table. He reminded himself to tell you to clean it up before you left.

“‘Deranged’ is probably more accurate,” he said with a scoff. “But if you’re really that curious, I can go grab one of them for you. Hope you can read Spanish.”

Your eyes lit up like a kid in a candy store and he couldn’t help but find it endearing. “Yes, I can read a bit! I tried to learn as much as I could before this trip and I also brought a translation dictionary!”

“Be right back, then.”

He quickly fished Los Illuminados’ text from the attic, returning downstairs to find you brushing your teeth in the kitchen sink. When you traveled back into the dining room, he placed it in your awaiting hands, and you practically squealed as you opened the old, ornate book.

“Wow, it’s beautiful,” you whispered in awe, flipping through the pages. “And look at these illustrations! You mind if I keep this?”

“Be my guest. I have no need for it,” he replied, enjoying the way you pored over the text with visible excitement. You grabbed your translation dictionary from your pack and were about to get to work when Leon cleared his throat.

“Not to ruin your fun but don’t you have to leave soon?”

Your expression shifted, then, from one of glee to what he could only guess was disappointment. Almost like you didn’t want to leave. There was a spark of something at that, but he didn’t let it ignite.

“Right. My ride should be here soon,” you told him after checking your phone. Despite your words, you didn’t move, and he wondered what you could possibly be thinking in that pretty head of yours.

When you finally dragged your feet to pack your bag, Leon remembered the items he promised you as payment for your silence concerning his existence. He excused himself before heading into the room beside the one you were standing in, reaching into a drawer and pulling out an old ring and a handful of jewels he had collected over the years.

“You forgot something,” he said to you, unfurling his clawed hand to reveal the precious items in his palm.

You grabbed the ring first, twisting it around as you appraised it. “It seems a little early for a proposal, don’t you think, Leon?”

He scoffed and rolled his eyes, but could feel a faint heat tinge the tip of his now-pointed ears and what remained of his cheeks. “Yeah, you wish.”

You offered an impish smile before taking the gemstones as well and pocketing them. “Well, I do hope these are actually worth something and aren’t just cheap knock-offs.”

“Definitely real, I swear. Those things are antique.”

“They better be, or else I’ll have to come back here and kick your ass.”

He chuckled at the thought. “Easy there, tiger. I’m good on my word.”

You nodded and a quiet fell over the room.

“Well, guess it’s time to go,” you eventually muttered, grabbing your backpack and swinging it onto your shoulders before you headed to the door. You were slow to reach for the handle, seeming almost… reluctant.

“Why don’t I… How about I walk you? Wouldn’t want you to get lost.” He didn’t know why he offered. If he was honest with himself, it was likely to prolong the last human interaction he’d probably ever have.

And he couldn’t deny he liked your company too.

You beamed at him as if that’s what you wanted him to say all along. “I’d like that, Leon.”

With Wolfie happily trotting behind the two of you, Leon led you into the early afternoon, the bright sun making him wince slightly, as it always did.

“You okay?” you questioned him. He shouldn’t have been surprised by your observation, already proving to him that very little got past you.

“Yeah, just… sensitive to the light, is all,” he replied with a squint of his eyes.

“Really? How come?”

He chuckled. Ever curious, weren’t you? “The Plagas are—were—damaged by light. Or the more exposed ones, I guess."

“Then how are you even handling being outside right now?”

“Not sure. Acclimated, I guess? I couldn’t go out during the day at all when I first turned. Then I just slowly spent more and more time in the sun. It’s… uncomfortable... but it doesn’t feel like I’m burning alive anymore.”

“Jesus,” was all you were apparently able to say, gripping your backpack straps.

You were both quiet for a few minutes, and he was thinking of ways to keep talking, not wanting to end the interaction in awkward silence.

“So I get you have a passion for the supernatural and all, but why come out here on your own? Don’t you have anyone who could come with you?”

You sighed. “My family and friends think I’m wasting my time. I’ve been on investigations with others like me, but I found I preferred to be alone.”

“Not even a boyfriend worried about you, huh?” He knew that was an unnecessary pry, but he couldn’t help but wonder.

“Not at the moment, no.”

He felt a strange sort of relief but refused to inspect it, instead pushing the conversation forward, “You must be some kind of adrenaline junkie, then, to be running around in the middle of nowhere, looking for monsters.”

“Maybe a little.” You shrugged. “You must be, too, considering you were a cop and an agent, right?”

“No, that’s different. I became a cop in order to help people, not that I was much good at it. And I was forced to be an agent to protect someone. Don’t get me wrong, I can’t deny the rush of doing something dangerous, but I never really looked for it. Was just forced to face it. I don’t really understand why you’d risk your life for a hobby.”

“I guess I just want to find the truth about things, no matter what it takes.” He sensed that maybe there was more to it than that as you looked away from him, instead focusing on the path ahead.

“Well, you’re lucky you haven’t gotten hurt yet. You have no idea if you’ll run into a B.O.W. or even just a wild animal that won’t hesitate to tear you to shreds,” he admonished.

“I guess I am lucky,” you agreed, nodding. “Lucky I found a big softie like you instead.”

He rolled his eyes at that. “I don’t know if you recall, but I told you I would eat you at least twice yesterday.”

“And yet you didn’t. Interesting.”

He wasn’t sure what to say to that, annoyed that you called him on his bluff. But then you looked up at him, radiant smile teasing and eyes bright.

He was surprised when the two of you were already at the lodge, past the village gate, so focused on you that he was mindless to anything else.

You moved to enter the building but halted when he did, turning to face him in confusion.

“This is as far as I go,” he explained, Wolfie sitting politely at his side. “Don’t want to startle whoever is here to get you.”

“Right, makes sense.”

The two of you stood there silently for a few moments, and you seemed just as unwilling to say goodbye as he was.

“Well… guess I better go,” you finally told him, kicking the dirt with the tip of your shoe.

“Probably a good idea.”

“It’s honestly a shame I have to leave already.”

He raised a brow. “And why is that?”

“Because I’ve enjoyed getting to know you,” you replied softly.

Leon was taken aback by that, something warm settling inside of him. To say he felt the same was an understatement. He didn’t voice it. In fact, he didn’t voice anything, at a loss.

To dispel the tension, you quickly and teasingly added, “And I didn’t get to explore this place nearly as much as I wanted to.”

“Well, there will always be other places.” He cringed at his own words and how stupid they were.

“There sure are.” You laughed, the sound melodic, and he was reminded of your singing. How your voice alerted him to your presence just yesterday afternoon. It felt like a lifetime since then, and simultaneously like a blink of an eye.

“It was nice to meet you, Leon.” You held out your hand to him, and he realized after a moment of staring at it you meant for him to shake it. It was a far cry from the day before, certainly.

“You too,” he said, gingerly touching his palm against your own and shaking your hand carefully, enjoying the warmth of it against his always-cool skin.

You released him—far too soon, he felt—and his arm fell lamely at his side.

You pet Wolfie, scratching his ears affectionately as you said goodbye to the old dog, before focusing back on Leon.

You seemed almost somber as you told him earnestly, “I hope the rest of your life is kind to you.”

He looked over your form, committing everything to memory. The color of your eyes, your round cheeks, your soft curves, the shape of your lips and how they framed your smile.

The urge to caress your face was a shockingly difficult one to ignore.

With all his mental strength, he managed to refrain, saying instead, “Same for you.”

You nodded once, offering a final wave, and then you were through the door.

Leon stood there for a long time, hearing your footsteps getting more and more distant.

He stayed in place even as he heard you greet your ride.

He stayed until the car pulled away, the sound of it eventually fading completely.

All was quiet once more.

It felt suffocating.

Wolfie nudged Leon’s leg and finally, he moved, begrudgingly turning on his heels and heading back to the house.

He was lost in thought as he arrived, closing himself into the dark once more.

He grabbed the crow that Wolfie had caught the night before, planning on plucking it clean and sharing it with him, until he noticed a folded piece of paper on the kitchen counter.

Curious, he stopped in his tracks, picking it up and gently prying it open with his claws. Inside of it was a small, crude drawing of a rabbit, a short note scrawled underneath that read:

Something to remember me by~

Your lil bunny rabbit

He couldn’t stop the chuckle that left his mouth, echoing in the empty room.

After a moment, he set down the page, sighing deeply—warily.

Leon was alone again.

+++

The rest of your day had passed in a blur, barely able to hold a conversation with the local who picked you up from the village and took you to your hotel room. You paced for a long time once you arrived, eventually ordering takeout to abate your growling stomach but eating it without really tasting it.

Your mind could only focus on Leon.

Maybe you were crazy, but he seemed just as regretful to say goodbye as you had been.

He did say you were the only person he’d spoken to in ten years, so you didn’t want to let yourself hope that perhaps the connection with him you felt you made was genuine. He was just lonely, and you were still a stranger, after all.

You sighed, pulling the golden ring he gave you from your pocket as you sprawled across the bed, holding it up to the light to watch the ruby set into it shimmer. It reminded you of his eyes.

You groaned.

Your flight was tomorrow morning and now you had to make up some lie on your blog that was interesting enough to read without encouraging anyone to seek out the village themselves.

Tall order.

You tried to focus on what you could potentially say, but all your thoughts led straight back to the strange creature you spent the night with.

He was lonely, yes. But so were you.

You glanced at the time on your phone, knowing you needed to sleep before your flight home.

And then an idea crossed your mind.

This trip was meant exclusively for business, not pleasure, and you realized you hadn’t been on a proper vacation in a long, long time. Your savings were in good shape, your rent was paid for the month, and you worked from home.

You held the ring in your hand, closing your fist around it, the gem decorating it digging into your palm just hard enough to sting.

It was set, you decided.

You were going to stay.

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#plaga!leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x reader #plaga!leon kennedy #leon kennedy #resident evil 4 remake #re4r #chubby!reader #half-life

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martyrmystik · 7 months

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I think Tumblr needs to know about my dumbass Poppy Playtime AU I literally JUST made today so uhm... Here's the AU I've been hyperfixating on-

More information under the cut!

This is the first half of the Smiling Critters references (I loved making their designs omg)

Basically to summarize why they are a significant part in this AU:

This is an AU where the Smiling Critters survive, using anything and everything they can to continue to do so. It's a small resistance group (hence the AU name, "RESISTANCE") trying to fight against The Prototype! They still have their dynamics and everything else but they have more freedom to express themselves (hence, the clothes and accessories. And how Kickin' Chicken is wearing two bandana's because yes, he is extra.) AFTER the events of The Hour of Joy. By that time they were like what? 1st-2nd graders considering the experiments that were done? Now they are more like teenagers in this AU since I still follow the plot-line of the actual Poppy Playtime story taking place 10 years later-.

As for how the group works, everybody has their own little role and is in charge of something, they aren't made useless as it is a group based off of teamwork and friendship (despite the casualties.) Here's some of the roles they fall into:

(IF I SEE ANYBODY SEXUALIZE THESE CHARACTERS ISTG. THATS ICKY AND GROSS and I will make sure you get smited by lightning, because even if these guys are aged up THEY ARE STILL MINORS!!!)

Kickin Chicken: The vice president if you will, the leaders right hand man. (Because Dogday is the leader.) He's kind of full of himself but the confidence and pep talks help the team keep motivated, even if he is a bit self-centered

Bobby Bearhug: Assistant to Kickin Chicken (although they have a rivalry.) and also the medic. Is also the one who helps Dogday with anything considering in this AU he still has half of him torn off. (More on Dogday in his own section sometime later)

Hoppy Hopscotch: Basically explores the facility in any area at any time to gather new information on ways to try and get out (all of them are actively looking to escape btw!)

Craftycorn: Maps out stuff (maps, plans, other things) using her drawing abilities, although she also acts as the therapist friend because her art is soothing to others.

Bubba Bubbaphant: THE LITERAL. EMBODIMENT. OF. THE NERD EMOJI. He is a actual know-it-all which can come in handy but that makes him seem like a dick sometimes because of his knowledge.

Picky Piggy: I don't really have anything important to add to her, since I want to keep some of her lore a secret [might be revealed through the ask page I just set up for the AU on my page] HOWEVER she is the chef of the group and is literally the only one that can cook, if anybody else tried they'd all get food poisoning LMAO.

Here's some extra things in this AU that won't go in my other posts about this AU (maybe):

(So take notes if you want.)

- Catnap is redeemed, but it takes a VERY long time for him to get out of "old habits" as I'm going to word it. (Without spoiling too much of what I have planned.)

- I don't know what to plan for The Prototype yet but I'm talking with a couple of my mutuals on discord so maybe I'll figure it out eventually

- Dogday can normally stand and do other things because of the belts he has, however he can't put them on for too long (for like at max, more than 4 hours a day.) because they will wear into the plush, and he needs to put the belts on tight or they will come loose. He only uses such method when the group goes to hunt for food or similar activities, otherwise, he just uses a wheelchair when in the groups safe environment (the Playhouse!)

- This is going to be a shock to some people, but there is NO player character in this AU, not only is this a what if the Smiling Critters survived, but it's also a what if the player character never returned to Playtime Co.! This does come with some issues, like on how the asks are going to work, but trust me, I got everything taken care of when it comes to that!

- There also isn't really any shipping in this AU at all, I'm focusing on the story/friendship dynamics more than that, so if somehow you were looking for Dogday X Catnap this is, unfortunately not the place for that.

- This AU also has the personal interpretation of Dogday being part of the experiments some of the orphanage kids faced, as I don't really vibe with the idea that Dogday might be a Playtime Co. worker??? I don't know, I'm sticking with my idea for now but I will be keeping a close eye on canon if anything confirms or denies it, and I may adjust the AU accordingly if that's the case.

- Future posts may or may not contain other Poppy Playtime characters but the main focus is the Smiling Critters and The Prototype.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

References of Dogday and Catnap are already done but I may wait a bit on Tumblr to see how well this AU is being received :)

(I spent 6 hours on all references in total 😭😭😭)

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velvet-games · 4 months

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intro post

I'll probably add more to/change this later; I've just needed an intro post for a while, and this is what I could think of. you should probably remind me to update it if this section is still here after like six months lol.

name/pronouns/age/gay shit~

honestly you can call me whatever, but I probably won't know you're talking about me unless you use vel/velvet.

prefer they/it; any pronouns are fine.

I'm probably non-binary I guess.

I'm an adult.

I basically just identify as queer at this point, but I'm like,, vaguely aroace-spec probably? still figuring it out. I'm actually very happy to talk about it more specifically, but I might have to sit you down for an entire day to explain it lol.

what I do/post~

I mostly post fandom stuff, and my original posts include a lot of art + occasional meta. I'm starting write fic too, so that might be a more regular thing in the future :)

other accounts~

@/velvetygames -- explicit nsfw twitter/x account, not very active

@cornerbytes -- old dragon prince account that I will probably revisit when the new season comes out

@/velvet_games -- ao3 account

nsfw~

I post occasional nsfw here (never super explicit; that's saved for my twitter); it'll be tagged #nsft.

fandoms~

current fandom: hazbin hotel

previous fandoms:

hannibal (will always have a very special place in my heart)

arcane (will revisit when the new season comes out)

ofmd (literally so happy this exists; devastated it's not getting a new season)

the dragon prince (will probably revisit when the new season comes out)

good omens

lotr (I also read like 2/3 of the hobbit and will hopefully finish it this summer lmao)

things in media that make me go insane (in a good way)~

friendship

happy endings

cannibalism

(WELL-WRITTEN) romance (THAT RESPECTS THE CHARACTERS AS INDIVIDUALS AS WELL AS WHO THEY ARE IN RELATION TO OTHERS)

surrealism

good visuals (even if everything else is shit; extra points if it's animation)

angst

fake-hating

this one's weird but I love situations where a character is really helpless; I thought I liked whump because I can be borderline sadistic about it sometimes, but whump is really not necessary at all to this concept

religious stuff, mythology, angels specifically for some reason (especially when they're terrifying and/or fallen)

gay people

requests~

you are welcome to send in ideas through comments, DMs, asks, etc., but I can't guarantee I'll draw them. if I don't, it doesn't mean that I don't like your idea; I'm probably just busy or have too many brainworms about a specific thing to draw anything but what's on my mind.

notes~

I randomly get really anxious about feedback on stuff sometimes lol, but I promise I read every single comment/tag and cherish them very deeply <33

also, like/rb spamming is totally fine and welcomed! I know some people don't like it, so I just wanted to make it clear that it's completely cool with me.

mutuals~

for a really long time, this was my pinned post, and it's still true! definitely welcome any interactions from mutuals <3

I do have a problem with randomly ghosting people though; I've been much better with it recently, but please try not to take it personally if I don't respond to DMs quickly. I'm probably just being insane and in my head about it. I'm really sorry.

misc~

this is an account that is purposely removed from my irl stuff; I'm here to have fun and relax on my mostly fandom-oriented blog.

I don't block often since I mostly meet nice people on here, but I am very happy to block accounts that make my experience on this app shitty.

I try to tag triggers when appropriate, but please let me know if you need me to tag anything I haven't.

art for me is just a hobby I use for fun and self-expression, so while I really appreciate concrit, keep in mind that my goal is ultimately to make stuff that makes me happy.

I am also very protective of young artists that get made fun of for being beginners or making unconventional art; you should never assume why someone is making art, and you especially should not assume that they are focused on becoming more skilled or making things that are beautiful to you. if they're not hurting anyone and you're not their target audience, get the fuck out.

I am of the mindset that media is not real, but that your reaction/the things you learn are. liking cannibal media does not make you a cannibal, but seeing bigoted portrayals of minorities can feed your biases (doesn't necessarily mean you can't consume it; does mean its effect on you/others irl should factor into if/how you decide to interact with it).

I'm vaguely fucked in the head. just keep that in mind.

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hils79 · 2 months

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Thanks for tagging me (ages ago I'm sorry I suck) @puppy-phum

1. why did you choose your url?

I am so boring I almost want to apologise for it. My url is just my nickname and the year I was born (yes, I am old).

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

I don't really use my sideblogs much. I've got one that I haven't used for years that I used to post some of my photography on @hal-photography. I've got one for an old UK convention that folded during the pandemic but that I used to do the marketing for @writerconuk and I've got a whump blog that I use to reblog my favourite whumpy gifs so that they're easy to find. Not sharing that one because I do not wish to be Perceived.

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

My original blog was set up in 2010. I had to nuke it after some unpleasantness in the Supernatural fandom (isn't it always SPN) and I've had this current once since 2011 I think

4. do you have a queue tag?

Nah, I don't queue things as a general rule. I do a bunch of reblogging first thing in the morning while I'm scrolling in bed and that's more or less it

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

I was looking for a new home after Livejournal finally properly died and most fandom folk were here at that time

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

It's a piece of DMBJ art that my housemate comissioned as a Christmas present a couple of years ago. I love it, and it was made specifically for me, so I made it my header and my icon

7. why did you choose your header?

Same as above

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

This RDJ/Paul Bettany exchange I ripped from Twitter. I have no idea why it ended up with 20k notes

9. how many mutuals do you have?

I honestly have no idea. Lots.

10. how many followers do you have?

Argh now I'm going to have to go and look. 2421. Wow.

11. how many people do you follow?

Wow this thing is really exposing me. 1908. I generally follow back so long as I can see that the person is an active fandom blog where we have at least one fandom in common.

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

I mostly shitpost in the tags

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

Generally for an hour in the morning before I get up and then however long it takes me to liveblog my next drama episode in the evening

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

No, I don't think so. Not that I can remember anyway. I generally try and avoid conflict and if someone is annoying me I just block them and/or vent about it in a safe space with friends I trust.

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts

Makes me less inclined to reblog them tbh. Don't tell me what to do in my own house.

16. do you like tag games?

I am so bad at remembering to do them when I get tagged (see above about only really being on tumblr for an hour a day) but I do appreciate it every time someone thinks of me

17. do you like ask games?

Yeah, same as above. I love them but I am crap at remembering to answer the asks. I'm very sorry.

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

I'm not sure I could name anyone who is tumblr famous beyond the actual celebrities who hang out here (like Lynda Carter)

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

I have mutuals I admire and wish I was brave enough to talk to more but I wouldn't really call them crushes. As an aroace I don't really do crushes.

20. tags?

I'm going to tag a few of my newer mutuals so I can get to know them a bit better. Absolutely no pressure though @prolestari @queenbeyondthejudge @fangirl-bookaholic @huzzzah @life-is-all-about-perspective @loving-that-officey-feel @greenyball @hwasfeatherduster

#tagged #puppy-phum

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elkkiel · 6 months

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Sorry friends, this is gonna be a long one. I feel like speaking in a space where someone may see and perceive what I'm saying is helpful to personal accountability. Please feel free to skip, it's more of a thought dump than anything (I am midway through writing now and I think I lost the plot a while ago lol)

Topics covered: grind culture, mental health, self-care, and learning when to manually sound the alarm for yourself as an audhd-er in the deep end of life.

Here's some tags that I left on the the grind culture reblog before this. I just wanted to share some thoughts and didn't want them to get lost; I feel like making a proper post really solidifies the situation (sorta like getting those abstract thoughts from your head onto paper, and realizing just how bad it is when it's all laid out before you.) And I want to make a change when I can finally get my head above water.

I think it can be especially difficult for us AuDHDers, since we don't necessarily have alarm bells installed that neurotypicals in similar situations may have but "choose" (consciously or not) to ignore. Things can really spiral into a bad place quickly if you don't have the cues or signs to alert you. We need to be diligent in doing those manual checks ourselves, KNOWING that we have struggles that make life just that much more difficult.

Take inventory of your life. Do you allocate time to self-care activities, and/or are those the right activities for you? Turns out for me that building a complex skin care routine (as suggested by mainstream self-care culture) only stresses me out more. Especially when I never have the energy to do it, making me feel bad when I only manage to do the basics *sometimes* (and the stress acne persists smh my head). My therapist recommended productive activities that involve both current hyperfixes and that ADHD Motor™. I want to learn basic carpentry over the summer, since I love working with my hands! For now, drawing masked men as cats will suffice (though I will not complain about the kittenification of my faves)

Choose a moment to consciously feel how your body is feeling. Check in with yourself! This is important for my alexithymia bitches. Are you more fatigued than usual? Are your muscles tense for some reason? Have you been hungry with no appetite? If you notice anything, let's make some connections—really dig into it. The instance I mentioned in the tags above was a really clear one for me. I took like 12 hours on the IV in the Ivy art instead of coursework, and that weekend I slept almost 22 hours. A few days later, I'm still in a cycle of horrible fatigue and excessive sleep. Connecting the trigger event (taking the time to create "unnecessary" art) to current sensations (extreme fatigue) is giving me insight into how stressed I actually am that I wouldn't have really seen otherwise.

I'm also feeling more and more aware of how activities and things become a bit of a crutch to avoid expending energy on social activities. Idk how many other people deal with this particular problem, but I have almost zero social drive. Like I legitimately don't feel the need to meet people and see friends. Almost 100% of my social needs are covered by talking to my parents, chatting with the girls at work (while at work) and passively absorbing interactions from complete strangers within earshot. It's one of the big things I'm continually documenting for when I can finally afford to get evaluated for autism (babygirl I don't even have enough for the ADHD assessment yet and that's more crucial for disability stuff lol) and it makes life real tough.

Not having the time nor the drive to invest in relationships really stunts you as a person in my experience. I don't know how to actually quantify what makes a friend (e.g. are we friends because we are Tumblr mutuals who haven't had an actual conversation but hype each other up in notes?) and I don't have any time to learn. I can't participate in leisure activities that may take some of the pressure off since I haven't been able to practice initiating interactions. It baffles me how some of the girls at work just casually meet up outside of work, or make plans out of the blue in a conversation (how tf do you gauge when/if to propose something????)

Like, it's bad. I haven't seen my best friend in a year and a half, and even the term "best friend" almost definitely isn't accurate in this scenario anymore. It's just another stressor that could potentially be avoided by lifting one's nose from the grindstone, but it's so intimidating to even try at this point. I don't feel the drive to be friends, but something tells me it's healthier than being alone with my work and thoughts.

Idk I think that's all I have for now. I definitely went on a tangent or two that don't connect back to the original idea so apologies for the letter-based vomit.

ty if you read any of this, if you have any thoughts or input I'm always open for replies or asks. The world is big and fast and horrible and confusing a lot of the time, but I think sharing experiences helps to keep things in perspective.

maybe I'll ask more targeted questions for community input some other time because I'm genuinely curious how to navigate around social deficits (the "who is a Friend and why?" thing especially because I genuinely have zero clue)

anyways have a good day, drink some water, take ur meds, and be kind to yourself

#my head is so foggy from fatigue i would be surprised if this is cobefent #its rant time babey im gonna go order some groceries now ✌️#elkk.txt

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stackslip · 11 months

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i do want tumblr to live. it's the last place on the internet that feels like it fits my brain and my levels of communication/socialization. it's a place where lots of people i love connect and where many find mutual aid and active support, it's where i can get genuinely insightful discussions and readings and art. i don't want it gone. it has its massive issues (very few that are genuinely unique to tumblr as a platform, most are general socmed issues and moderation issues that are very similar in other places--the biggest issue i'd argue is users being able to mass report transfem and other marginalized users and get their blogs automatically deleted) but compared to twitter and co and a lot of old forums and the current state of the internet, it *is* a haven. i want tumblr to live. i want it to stay online and functional as long as it can. i've been here for a little less than half my life now, for the vast majority of the website's own lifespan. there's no place like it and there never will be again--it cannot be reproduced in the current circumstances. it will eventually die i know, all socmed will as venture capital realizes these sites aren't profitable (or making astronomical mountains of money) and as fascist governments impose stricter and stricter laws that strip us of privacy and free speech online. for selfish reasons, i'd like it to continue as long as it can. i've been having a lot of issues socializing both online and offline recently, struggling to even step a foot outside without sensory overwhelm or debilitating anxiety that leaves me crawling when i finally come home. and as much as people sometimes joke about this website being a place for weird shut-in freaks, it really is the only place online or offline that meets my social needs as a weird shut-in freak who cannot get a job or finish a degree or even go out to my local group without layers of clothing and noise canceling headphones and only being able to mask a couple of hours at a time. when i was talking to friends on discord last night i said that the day tumblr announces its actual demise i will grieve it like an actual person who's been a core part of my life, because it's the truth. call me a freak or a loser who needs to go outside more or whatever. been here since 2010-2011. it's literally part of my soul at this point. there's no place like it and when it goes there will be no place to replace it either, because the time for these spaces to exist will be gone. i'll hold on to it as long as i can, yknow.

#eli talks

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whitleyschn33 · 2 years

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RWBY V9, Episode 1: Liveblog Thoughts

This is the curse of long hiatuses, isn’t it? Back at the end of V8, I was like “I’m done. I hated the ending, the entire volume felt poorly done and uncomfortable, most of the characters I still care about are either dead or side characters, there’s no reason for me to watch V9, especially if we don’t see Vacuo.” But here I am, dragged back in by the separation of two years. The salt in the wound has stopped stinging quite so bad, and morbid curiosity has taken hold.

Against my own better judgement - pulls out the pirate hat - let’s take a look.

-Opening the volume with the narration from the teaser trailer, a voice we don’t know, is a choice.

-Close up of Blake does absolutely no favors to the models, I’m sorry

- Little would be a lot cuter if they couldn’t talk, but that would be inconvenient

-I know people have mentioned this before about the rain starting exactly when Ruby starts to cry, but it also stops when she stops crying, which is more evidence in the direction of Ruby effecting the weather. I am starting to hedge towards the island being connected to Ruby’s emotional state myself, but that would only be satisfying if the island is of Ruby’s own creation in her head, a delusion she’s made while falling to mentally process the fall. Otherwise, why would this other dimension island be connected to Ruby of all people?

-Blake and Weiss! Acknowledging the weirdness of them finding each doesn’t make the weridness go away, but since it’s whacko world where the laws of space don’t seem to work, I’ll allow it.

-And, uh, the vine scene is utterly pathetic. I get they’re exhausted, they can’t just burn the place down, but seriously? Weiss can create platforms, there’s no need for this reach down from the tree gag, Weiss is not the cheerleader type so that’s just jarring as hell, Weiss can also summon her knight to cut the vines for her or a flying Grimm to get them overhead - there’s a lot of smarter ways to go about this that doesn’t make our heroes look weak. Now, maybe they’re out of Aura still and exhausted from the fall. Okay, that makes sense - but it would also make sense for them to rest and regain their Aura and Semblances before attempting to retrieve Gambel Shroud and find the others.

-Laying on the “what is your purpose” theming very heavy

- “I don’t know if anyone else fell” I mean, a bunch of civilians got knocked in by Cinder, but I suppose they could be dead.

-Should have paid more attention in that hand-to-hand arc, Ruby. This creature though actually looks really cool, I do like its design and the twitching effect. Kind of a Grimm, but not. But... it wasn’t doing anything to them. Why immediately attack?

-And Yang’s here! That was fast. And apparently she fought the thing off and then decided to track it down to finish the fight? Okay... seems like a waste of energy if it had already left, but whatever. In character enough.

-”Damn it. You weren’t supposed to be here.” Okay, that’s a good line. I really like that and the delivery.

-”if you didn’t think we’d come after you” - you didn’t. You got thrown in, Ruby.

-”What is that?” The skull beast thing was already talking, Yang, why does this surprise you?

-Cat pounce. Thought they’d go for a kiss, but that probably wouldn’t jive right with the pacing of the episode. We should get a kiss this volume, but I can see them waiting for either a moment when the two are alone, or a moment where they can build it up without immediately cutting to exposition.

-Ruby black out. I’m surprised her eyes didn’t activate, an instinctual lashing out like they did with Pyrrha. Ah well.

- Y: ”How are you feeling” R: Dodge roll!

- “Maybe we’re dead... I thought I was.” I mean, that would be more interesting, fighting their way outta hell, but unlikely.

- “I think we’re in a fairy tale” Not mutually exclusive, but okay. I’m going to assume that all these realms (that are so neatly sectioned off) are going to be Remnant fairy tale settings that Blake’s read over the years, which would indicate there is a way out.

-OP - chaotic, doing the progression of character thing V7 did and really hammering in the “Ruby’s really not feeling it”. Jaune is in the OP, but I believe only two or three times, and never with t!RWBY, which could either be a good or bad sign. None of the girls saw him fall, either, so they’re not expecting to look for him. Also, no hint of Vacuo anywhere in the OP, so odds are we’re staying here for the entire volume, or at least until the last episode where we’ll probably get a stinger for V10.

-New girl - Alice? I’m not sure why they bothered to hide her features for so long only to reveal them at the end. There’s also a shadow of a boy with glasses behind her in her portrait, so either another faller or maybe a denizen?

-Credits - “Jabberwalker” NOOOOOOOO, my snake dragon monstrosity jabberwocky T-T But if that poem’s on the table, I expect we may see some juju birds and bandersnatches (assuming that we haven’t already with the spoonbill and the thing that took Yang’s arm)

Overall? Not the worst episode of RWBY, but it just felt very... unpolished. The background animations have gotten a bit better, less unfinished (though still jarring in their vibrancy though at least that’s on purpose), but some of the dialogue and pacing feels like it was a first draft that never got refined. Like “Weiss and Blake find Gambel Shroud in vines that trap them as they try to get it out” was written, but wasn’t expanded upon in the individual actions, so you get some gestures at getting it out without any smarter actions that require effort in thought, and some of the emotional shifts felt jarring. For example, like the script said “Turn to Weiss, Weiss is crying”, and in the actual episode they click the emotion into place instead of giving Weiss a few moments to express that slip into despair. Just a few extra moments of Weiss’s face crumbling, her voice cracking, would have sold the emotion more, and there’s a couple moments like this, particularly when they go for humor. Speaking of, the comedy attempts were also not appreciated. Levity isn’t really something the show needs at this moment, and none of the jokes land. I don’t find Ruby screaming at a mouse or mice reacting in terror to Blake to be funny, and I can see the “Oh my God, this is so weird and strange” reactions getting old if it carries on for too long. I haven’t found RWBY funny for a few years now, though, so it’s not really surprising.

Score that’s mostly arbitrary and will probably forget to keep doing: 5.5/10. Perfectly functional, not a pain to watch or boring, but lacking anything that really makes me enjoy it enough to rewatch or recommend. 0.5 points for Yang’s “You weren’t supposed to be here” line alone.

#rwby #rwde #for safety's sake #rwby9 #rwbyv9 #rwby volume 9 #rwby volume 9 spoilers #spoilers

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strangeswift · 2 years

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hi! i'm the person who sent the first 'active choice' anon but i actually didn't send the second one (though i do agree with that person completely - i think it would show huge character growth for mike to actively decide to be with will). i also sent you this ask abt the monologue a few days ago btw!!

i just wanted to say that the ask reminded me of a lot of gay!mike talking points about el which say something about how mike actively choosing will over el would insinuate that there's something inherently unlovable about el and i....really do not vibe with that take.

(i don't have a problem with gay!mike, i just feel like this one specific idea is kind of a shitty thing to say and is a tad misogynistic)

imo mike and el breaking up and mike choosing to be with will does not mean that el isn't lovable or that there's something 'wrong' with her as a person, it just means that she and mike are not compatible as a couple, and this is true on both ends - mike is not a good bf to her and el isn't a good gf to him. neither one of them is a bad person, they just don't work romantically (similar to jncy/stncy where steve is a fantastic guy but not the right fit for nancy at all).

also, for someone like el who is still figuring out her identity as a person, breaking up with someone at 14 is not the end of the world, especially since the narrative seems to imply that independence is what she needs and where she's headed in the future. in fact, i think she will be the one to point out that mike isn't loving her the way that she wants to be loved and they will mutually break up once mike finds out the truth about the painting. i don't think there's going to be any real bad blood there bc imo el already accepted that mike doesn't make her feel loved in 4x03. she'll be sad about the breakup ofc, but it's not going to be crushing for her and she'll get to focus on building her platonic relationships with hopper, the byers family, lucas & dustin, max when she wakes up, and (hopefully) mike too.

sorry haha that turned into a ramble but my point is just that bi mike and byler endgame isn't inherently harmful to el, especially if the mlvn breakup takes place before the timeskip and mike and will get together after the timeskip. of course if they go with gay mike, that would be cool too, especially bc of what you said here:

This is because I think the idea of Mike choosing Will doesn't necessarily have to manifest in Mike choosing Will over El, which is what you're talking about here.

this is a good point and i enjoy this interpretation. ig i just prefer what that anon said - i think it makes more narrative sense and would feel more satisfying for both mike and will if mike goes out of his way to want to be with will romantically despite also liking girls. i think it would be a nice full-circle moment for will bc we know that will felt like a mistake for liking boys, so seeing the boy will loves choose to be with him even if he has other options would be a perfect ending.

Omg I even thought to myself.. can I assume this is the same anon? And then I was like mmm yep I think so. And I was WRONG! For shame. So sorry anon. But at least you agree with them that makes me feel better.

Anway.

I realize that a breakup wouldn't be the end of the world for El and that Byler endgame isn't inherently harmful to her. But I do think the breakup is probably gonna suck initially. It might even suck a lot. For a while. That's a real possibility. And I just don't want that. That's all I can really say to that point, this all really just depends on what's going on in El's head, which we don't know either.

I definitely don't think that Mike choosing Will over El insinuates that El is unlovable. I hope I haven't said anything that has come off that way because I don't think that at all. I just think that rejection will always make a person doubt themselves, that's just human nature.

But anyway, let's expand on that thought: Mike choosing Will over El doesn't insinuate that El is unlovable.

By the same token, I don't think that Will should need Mike to choose him to prove to him that he is loveable!

*mic drop*

(Just kidding, I'm gonna ramble more. But that's a good point, no?)

They're all loveable. They're all worthy of love. Full stop. Mike Wheeler's affections don't determine Will or El's worth.

I realize we're talking in the sense of Will simply feeling unworthy and the idea of Mike choosing him alleviating that self doubt. But Will shouldn’t rely on Mike loving him in order to feel worthy of love. Not to say that he shouldn't accept Mike's love, I'm just saying he needs to work on himself as well. (As does Mike! For the same reasons!)

So I'm not in love with the idea that Mike choosing Will gives Will the self worth he needs and therefore that's what makes the most sense narratively. Will shouldn't need Mike. He loves Mike, and that's beautiful. He shouldn't need him, not in a literal sense. It's a flaw just as Mike's need to be needed is a flaw. Both are flaws which are hurting them, and they need to be addressed in ways other than just dating each other. Like. In therapy.

Lastly, as I said, whether Mike is bi or gay, choosing to be with Will is still choosing to be with Will. Which is meaningful. It's very meaningful. I just don't think Will's arc should be relying on that specific sentiment.

#asks #byler #abby rambles

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savethepinecones · 2 months

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✨💖Positivity chain! List 5 to 10 things that make you smile and explain why! Then send this to others to let them know they make you smile✨💖

aww thanks for sending this!

1: my cat. he actively tries to spend time with me all the time and hes so comfortable around me it makes me want to cry happy tears when i think about how much he trusts me

2: thunderstorms. theyre just so. vivid. like i can see the lightning and hear the thunder and feel the rain and the wind and smell the petrichor. i never feel more grounded than i do when i go out and stand in the rain

3: my cousins. ive changed a lot in the past ten years and i worry that most of my family (very religious) arent very happy with where ive ended up and mostly pretend that im still the person i was pretending to be as a kid. but i have younger cousins who dont remember much about that person and when i go to family events they actively seek me out and want to talk to me and it means a lot to me that i can be myself and still be welcomed by my relatives

3: my mutuals. i dont talk to any of them much so they might not be aware of this but it makes me so so happy to see familiar icons in my notes regularly. if you interact with my blog on a regular basis i guarantee that ive noticed you and i appreciate your presence

4: my sister. we really didnt get along as kids but weve come such a long way since then and sometimes well be talking about something mundane and itll just hit me how much progress weve made. shes my main support system and one of very few people that i trust implicitly and im so so proud of both of us for getting to where we are now

5: reading. whenever im bored my go to solution is to read something. whether its scrolling through text posts on tumblr or checking out ao3 or holding an actual physical book. most of the time if im not paying attention to multiple things at once (like playing a game on my phone while i watch tv or listening to a podcast while i play video games) but when im reading i dont need distractions. i think im probably relaxed the most when i have my nose in a book

6: math. i like having a clear problem that i can solve and knowing the specific steps i need to take in order to find the solution. i tend to second guess myself a lot generally but with math i feel like i really know what im doing

7: camping. it forces me away from my phone and reminds me to appreciate the world around me. my favorite place in the world is in the mountains looking up at the stars while sitting in front of a crackling fire. bonus points if someone is playing the guitar nearby

8: singing. ive been on t for a few months now and every time i hit a note that used to be too low for me i feel such a rush of gender euphoria. yeah im gonna miss my soprano but im already in love with my lower range

im gonna cut it off here because i need to go to sleep soon but thanks again! i always enjoy receiving asks and i think today was a good day for me to really remind myself about the positive things in my life. <3

#answered asks

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heelachilleshowl · 3 months

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❝🇬🇺🇮🇩🇪🇱🇮🇳🇪🇸❝

[mobile/app friendly version of my guidelines, desktop/browser version can be found here!]

❝🇲🇺🇳 🇮🇳🇹🇷🇴❝

Hello, hello! 👋 I am Achilles (they/he), i'm in my mid 20s and i've been role-playing and doing creative writing since 2016. I'm a full time student + freelancer and I have a passion for all things creative and complicated characters. I'm semi-selective in the sense that I probably won't engage with one-sentence replies or anyone under 20—otherwise i'm pretty laid back and am open to rp with anyone!

❝🇦🇨🇹🇮🇻🇮🇹🇾❝

This will be a low activity blog as i'm a full time student doing a very intensive course that requires most of my time and energy. I'll most likely be more active on the weekends but I do have other irl commitments that eat up some of that time as well. All I ask for is mutual patience and respect, I will never ghost a thread so if I haven't replied that does not mean anything other than I haven't had the time and I will get to it as soon as I am able. I also have other commitments and time zones may make me miss things, if we're mutuals feel free to send me anything you really want me to see and are afraid I missed, I don't have hours to spend scrolling through my dash and everyones blogs; I wish I did.

❝🇬🇴🇩🇲🇴🇩🇩🇮🇳🇬❝

None of this please, we can communicate and plot out fights and any situation that may come to pass. Never take full control of my muse or write any of their dialogue, you may move them a small bit if your muse interacts with them and physically moves them but that's it. We can discuss this more as needed.

❝🇲🇪🇲🇪🇸 & 🇦🇸🇰🇸❝

Never going to turn down a meme or an ask! They're great ways to do some character/relationship development and start a thread so feel free to send as many as you like! I may not get to them straight away due to my schedule but I will answer any I get when I can! I've also seen it's common place to transfer a reply to a new post if starting a thread from an ask so I will do this if you do the same.

❝🇫🇴🇷🇲🇦🇹🇹🇮🇳🇬❝

I will typically only do formatting for ooc posts like these, like the sub-headings seen here, in actual threads the most formatting I will do is italics and bolding for emphasis. For ooc posts I also tend to use a mix of text sizes, e.g. large title and sub heading with small body text; for threads I will use the normal auto text size for ease of reading (unless my partner uses a small text, as such I will then match this). I have icons I use for memes and such but for threads I will most likely stick to just text, if I make a starter it will have them to make it clear what muse it's for but all replies after will not have them.

❝🇮🇳🇹🇪🇷🇦🇨🇹🇮🇴🇳❝

Like I said I am (loosely) semi-selective, I am happy to role-play with Canon or OC muses and fandomless OC's! I have OC muses I don't mind putting in an original setting. You don't have to follow me to start a thread with me, but if you do follow me I'll read your rules/guidelines and I may follow you back if we continue writing together. (I don't 'follow for follow', if we vibe and I jive with your rules I'll most likely follow back!)

❝🇸🇹🇾🇱🇪❝

I prefer to write medium to long replies (minimum 3 paragraphs) in third person and I mostly use past tense, but if my partner writes in present tense I will do so as well. I don't work well with one line replies as my brain simply can't figure out how to move the characters and plot with so little to work with, if you write with me please at least give me one paragraph and some dialogue to work with.

❝🇵🇱🇴🇹🇹🇮🇳🇬❝

I love plotting in general, i'm a better story planner than I am a writer most times. I love throwing ideas back and forth, I can be a bit shy and reserved the first few times we talk but over time I'll get more comfortable and I'll toss out my more outlandish ideas more confidently. So if you can stick it out we can get into the real meat of these crazy story ideas together and have a lot of fun I hope! I also like to come up with a possible plot with some groundwork/backstory, post it and continue further plotting with whoever's interested in what they saw.

❝🇹🇷🇮🇬🇬🇪🇷🇸❝

As shown on the tin, this blog will deal with some heavy and dark themes, all will be tagged appropriately and if you need anything else tagged please just send me a dm or ask and I'll be more than happy to oblige in most cases. All trigger tags will be simple, '#blood tw', '#arachnophobia tw', etc. to ensure for ease of blocking. Please keep in mind this blog will have; toxic relationship dynamics(platonic, familial and romantic), religious/blasphemous themes, depictions of cults, graphic depictions of violence, gore and other related topics.

❝🇸🇭🇮🇵🇵🇮🇳🇬❝

I am very shipping positive, I love when characters grow and change together and either make each other better or so much worse. This will not be a shipping-centric blog, I do love character dynamics and exploring those relationships in all forms but I do enjoy a complex plot outside of any romantic relationship. That said I am so down for any type of ship; romantic, queerplatonic, mono/poly/open, situationships/fwb, etcetera etcetera! I won't know my comfort level with smut role-play until we talk but I'd prefer to avoid it until we've threaded together for a while, a good fade to black can never go wrong.

❝🇨🇴🇳🇹🇦🇨🇹❝

My personal preference is to communicate through tumblr dm's, but if it is a deal breaker, then I can also be reached through Discord, which you can ask for through tumblr dm's. I am happy to discuss plotting/ideas, threads, headcannons, our muses and their relationships and anything to do with role-play—if we've just started threading I am less likely to want to discuss things unrelated to role-play. On top of that I will gently and kindly ask you do not vent to me about irl or rpc matters that do not involve me.

❝🇦🇩🇩🇮🇹🇮🇴🇳🇦🇱 🇮🇳🇫🇴❝

PLATFORM: I am mainly a mobile user, one of the rare people who predominantly use the app for some ungodly reason. I will however reply to threads either through the mobile browser or desktop to ensure I can trim threads and follow other rpc etiquette appropriately. Anything ooc or otherwise will be done through the app aka in a more timely fashion.

CROSSOVERS & AU'S: I'm open to crossovers but I am very picky about them, my brain needs the two media's to mix sem-realistically for me to enjoy it. I love a good Supernatural/Far Cry 5 or Supernatural/Outlast crossover for example. AU's are another story and I am open for any and all of them, they're completely disconnected from my Canon and therefore we can go hog wild with them.

TOPICS: While I deal with dark subjects there are certain topics I will not engage with and these can be found through my browser/desktop guidelines. It's the typical stuff but feel free to talk to me for further clarification if you're unsure.

MUSES ≠ MUN: I am not my muses and my muses are not me; whatever my muses say or do does not reflect my thoughts, opinions or feelings in any way. Any relationship I play with them does not indicate what I condone irl especially in relation to my dark/villain muses. I am perfectly happy to interact with self-insert muses as long as you remain respectful and do not become parasocial or rely on me playing my muse for validation or mental/emotional support!

DISCOURSE: I do not tolerate call-out culture or online/tumblr drama, if you engage heavily with these things I will most likely unfollow for my own comfort/sanity. 110% of tumblr drama can be solved through mature, private conversations and the block button.

COMMUNICATION: If there is anything happening in our thread you're not happy with you are encouraged to send me an ooc message about it so we can steer it back in a direction we're both happy with! I will always communicate any issue with you should they arise so I ask you do the same in return, we're adults engaging in a fun hobby together and this should be a fun, safe space for both of us and i'm willing to put the effort in for that if you are.

BLOCKING: I'm not the type of person to block you for a million and one things and if we're writing partners I'll talk out issues before I jump to blocking or cutting contact. If you're disrespectful, try to engage me in topics i've said i'm not comfortable with or are overly rude/negative towards me or my muses than I may block you but that's about it. I don't care about how much or how little you interact as I've said, so you don't have to worry about me blocking you if you're not online/active for a while.

FUN: We're all here to enjoy this neat little hobby that sparks joy, as soon as a thread with me or anything like that is not sparking joy for you, you can say so and we can drop it; i'm not very likely to get upset about it. I'm here to play dolls with fictional characters and possibly make friends, stick around or just pass through, whatever works for you; let's just have a good time and be a positive experience. ♡

🇲🇴🇧🇮🇱🇪⦂ OC MUSES | CANON MUSES

🇩🇪🇸🇰🇹🇴🇵⦂ OC MUSES | CANON MUSES

#『𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬』#『𝐨𝐨𝐜』

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sixthwater · 3 years

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🎟️Synastry and: the Friends IV🎟️

I deadass forgot my childhood friend and the fact that I finally got her chart let's ignore that though

Note: This is using and based off of personal experience, I will be using specific people and referencing them throughout the post

Me & ✈️'s placements

☉: Cancer / Pisces ☽: Taurus / Libra ☿: Cancer / Pisces ♀: Cancer / Aquarius ♂: Virgo / Leo

I really can't think of any media to relate back to us, but shuri & t'challa are the closest thing really because we're both smart-asses we love venusian moons!!!!!!

💺Overlays

Mutual Sun, Mercury & Venus in 1st House

Now, using placidus this is cutting it close because ✈️ is right on the edge of my 2nd house but I'm going to interpret it as 1st because I get more of those vibes. We both tend to support the other in whatever path we want to take, or lift the other up when we're down. I was not the popular kid in school, while she was. Our parents befriended each other since we lived across the street and that's how we met and we vibed pretty well because I knew how to leave her alone and she knew how to be 'careful' with me. So whenever she noticed me pulling away, being awkward, or heading off because of this reason (too much crowding), she would go out of her way to make sure I was comfortable and I knew she wasn't bothered by me being there and if anyone had a problem then they had a problem with her too--praising or uplifting qualities that she liked in me that she said was hard to find in others, and that I shouldn't change to make others feel comfortable. Which helped me be more confident within myself and honest, and found out that her friends (which eventually became mine) actually found that side of me funny and liked it. Meanwhile, there were dreams and passions of hers that she wanted to pursue that people usually clowned her for and she usually didn't bring them up too much unless she played along with them. However I usually just let her talk and pushed her to keep pursuing it if it made her happy and joined in the activities while sometimes joking around on what she's going to put on her resume when she applies for stuff.

*It's important to note that her Saturn is also placed within my first house as well, meaning that I can sometimes feel like I have to 'reach her level' at times (popularity and social battery). This cools down the blind worship (by paramore) and can help how I'm viewing things so I'm not tilting too far in either way.

**Special note to remember our Descendants. Hers being Capricorn and mine being Leo. She was known to always have people around her, and get along with many groups, and always have people fawning over her. Meanwhile, I had my own group of friends but I wasn't really a socialite, I could be seen as shy until you get to know me, and you could say that I took school kind of seriously minus the depression. With some generational planets being placed in her 7th, venusian moon, and an Aquarius venus, it makes sense for her to like my company. For me, I only having my rising, and it highly depends on the rest of the chart if I like Leo influenced people, so very lucky for us.

Me: Moon in 11th / ✈️: Moon in 8th

Best-friends!!!!!!!!!!! Now I'm going to be honest, I don't necessarily feel the descriptor depth of the 8th overlay here for us, but then again people are very weird about the 8th house. Honestly I just appreciate this overlay for our relationship because it creates a very relaxed friend vibe? Truly we have only texted each other for holidays, or when she planned a trip when I was stuck in a shitty job and couldn't see her, but we both know if we ever needed the other for something then it's a no brainer and we would do it. There's no like, 'I'd DIE for you' feeling here but there's a bond that's been made that's not going to be broken over something small lmao. I know there's some thoughts, feelings, and incidents that other people definitely don't know about that she's trusted me with, and I've spent hours over at her house just doing absolutely nothing and never really felt bored.

Me: Mars in 4th / ✈️: Mars in 7th

Very interesting overlay. As you've read a dozen times now: we are childhood friends. So I've interacted with a good amount of her family, and when we were young adults her aunt had told me about the influence I had over a relative of hers. I also was basically adopted by their family and practically always forced to come to family events because I was family after a certain point. Interestingly enough, I'm not a very pro-active person when it comes to other people's business, unless it's like, a concern lmao. The basis here is that depending on the aspects or the native's chart themselves, if you're the Mars person and it's a 4th overlay, you can either positively impact the 4th house's family relations or really mess it up and I'm sure you'll know Immediately which one it is. As for the 7th overlay, it kinda was the same thing? No one ever second-guessed that she would be invited to anything I was hosting that would need invitation, before I even got around to figuring out how I wanted to go about it, it was just 'yeah she's coming'. It's also to be noted that she's usually the one that is visually seen as dominant from an outside perspective (we're both very chill but if we had to pick one, it'd be her), but that's about it for the 7th house.....I really don't pick up on 7th house overlays for a bitch that has a lot of them

🛰️Aspects

OKAY THE FUN PART. We don't have a lot to scream about, which can attribute to why our relationship is so detached, but what is interesting is that we have a lot of creative aspects at tight degrees:

Me > ✈️

Sun Biquintile Mercury Moon Quintile Mercury Jupiter Quintile Chiron Jupiter Sextile Moon Chiron Biquintile Venus

etcetc, the rest of our aspects are about 4-5 degrees or more, or other minor aspects. Obviously we take the major aspects above these minor ones, but I just thought that, with two Venusian moons who want to follow a creative/healing path for their careers, to have these aspects between them? That's really interesting that's madly wild and I want to explore that.

I've also stated earlier before about our descendants and how we gravitated towards each other but it helps that with our natal chart and how they're working separately, it helps us navigate the waters when dealing with each other. With how I talked about my brother, we both know how to not be clingy with the other, while also showing care for each other at the same time. Sometimes less is more for certain placements or combinations.

With her Cancer rising and Pisces mercury, she can draw people in because she seems very soft and fragile, however her Aquarius venus, Leo Mars, and Cap DSC has a very big bite once she lets you in. Her Libra moon does a good job of balancing appearance and snark too, so people tend to forget that her water placements are still there and she can still get hurt. Meanwhile my Aquarius rising, Virgo mars and 6th stellium can be off putting because I don't necessarily let people in very easily and am Radiating nervous, tense energy. Plus my Saturn in 1st combined with all of that makes it seem like I'm put together and I can handle myself and I'm highly critical. Then you get underneath that and find all of my Cancer placements, Taurus moon, plus my Leo DSC, meaning that I'm just a big baby who wants attention. So with our charts already dealing with similar energies and being able to tell what the other person needs, and when, it really helps us be able to navigate our friendship a lot easier than other relationships that, on paper, should be working out. And That's Why Natal Charts Are Still Important In Synastry.

We don't really keep in contact too much, but when we do it's like we never stopped texting each other and she's still one of the first people that come to mind when I list off some of the closest people to me. ~Just Aquarius placement things~

#astrology #platonic synastry #synastry #mygalaxypost #am I about to drop like ten of these? yeah #I'm hyper focusing right now don't look at me

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