#I personally feel cassandra would be able to get a rise out of leo

[msbarrybeeson]

Before You Go - P.1 | Future Leonardo X Reader

A/N: Time to make a series! Inspiration is taken from the movie and several fanart. Constructive criticism is appreciated as usual.

Summary: Heartbroken about a death of a dear friend, you and Leonardo debated on whether to co-parent Cassandra’s baby son, Casey.

Reader: Gender-neutral pronouns are used. Second POV.

Pairing: Rise! Future! Leonardo X Reader 

Warnings: Blood. Death. Child becoming an orphan.

Word Count: ~1280

Parts: One / Two / Three / Four / Five / ...

~

“We’re.. keeping him?”

A wary expression on your face as you met eye-contact with Leonardo. In his arms held a baby boy, wrapped in a soft yet dirty blanket. 

“We are,” he confirmed. 

“But what about the other camps—.”

“I promised Cass we would take care of him.”

You went silent, wincing at the thought— the memory of your friend dying in that rubble. Leonardo shared the same feeling, replaying Cassandra’s final words in his head.

“You didn’t even ask me for my word!” you snapped. “We’re talking about taking care of a baby in an alien invasion! I want neither of us nor the team to get too attached. He’s going to get in the way and if something happens—.”

“We won’t let anything happen to him.”

Your hands curled. “...How can you be so sure?”

“(Name).” Leonardo stepped closer to you. “Think about it this way: he could be a hope for us. He could be the one to stop the Kraang and this mess.”

“No.” You wanted to yell and force him to look from your view. Except, you can’t risk scaring anyone else in the base. There were other humans, mutants, and yōkai taking refuge to hide from the Kraang.

This was one of the only safe havens in New York City, or the entire world at that rate. You wanted this to be a place of consolation, not panic.

Arms crossed, you turned away. “I was afraid you’d think that.”

“...What do you mean?”

“He’s young, Leo!” You faced him again. “Don’t tell me you’re thinking about forcing the idea of ‘being the chosen hero’ on him!

What if he doesn’t rise to that challenge? What if he didn’t succeed? What would you think of him then?”

Leo’s mouth perked up.

And you realized yourself.

“Sounds like you’re the one with a personal attachment, (Name). I almost thought you don’t care about this little guy,” he teased. “I wasn’t being serious about the whole ‘hero’ thing. Splints threw me on the leader spot myself, remember?”

Your shoulders loosened. 

“I remember.” You sighed. “I never said I don’t care. Just worried we won’t be able to give him the childhood he deserves— the life he deserves. I wish that for every child, especially knowing this is the wrong place for them to grow up in.”

You grimmed. “We’ll be busy trying to take out Kraang, Leo.. How are we going to take care him, let alone give him enough love?”

Leo gave no response. But you watched his feet inching closer. Then, he held out the blanket-wrapped baby to you.

“..We’ll find a way,” he assured, “We’ll work it out together.”

You took the baby in your arms. He was snoring away all the problems, a bittersweet moment that warmed your heart.

“The others are going to co-parent too, right?” you asked. That one question making Leo freeze. You spoke again, this time raising an eyebrow. “..Right?”

He cleared his throat. “Well.. the thing is.. they.. probably don’t even know how to take care of a baby.”

“What.”

“But we’ll be fine on our ownn! Trust me, (Name), nothing’s going to go wrong under our watch.”

“And then you’re going to force all the parental responsibility on me.” You scoffed. “Are you serious? You had me thinking that Raph, Mikey, Donnie, and April will help too!”

“Cass trusted us to do this.”

“Exactly, us.”

“The both of us.”

“Why did she exclude the others out?”

Truth be told, you couldn’t understand what made his brothers and April any less qualified to take care of a baby. You knew Leo would be out a lot. You too had responsibilities with keeping resources in check and defending the base. Extra loving hands shouldn’t hurt.

Except, when you found Leo averting his gaze and coughing, a light blush on his face, it clicked for you. He wasn’t being completely serious. He just liked the thought of he and you— did Cassandra tell him?

A chuckle left your lips. 

“Look, as much as I’m willing to try for her,” you paused, “I don’t know if I can make a good caretaker, let alone a parent for Casey.” 

“And Cass knew you’d doubt yourself,” Leo held your hands, “but she still trusted you. She trusted that you can do it.”

You took a deep breath, tearing up a bit. 

“There.. are a lot of responsibilities....”

His arms brought you into a hug from behind. “I know.” 

He leaned his head on your shoulder, watching little Casey sleep. “Like I said though, (Name), we will make it work.” Leo reassured. “I’m here right next to you.”

Him being made leader changed him for sure. It was comforting to see him grow less cocky and more consoling, empathetic.

You kind of missed his overconfident, happy, sarcastic side though. 

.

.

.

“What are you doing?” A shaky breath. “We’re running the same way. Why are you handing him to me, Cass?” Leonardo felt his heart beating faster.

“Take care of him for me. He needs you all, especially (Name).”

“H-Hold on..” Leonardo taken aback.

He watched a couple of tears pooling up in Cassandra’s eyes. Her hand grasping his arm as they both ran for base.

“Y-You know (Name)’s been eyeing me for a while now.” Emotions caught up in her throat as she spoke. “They’ve always wanted a kid— I didn’t even have to ask them. So.. I-I thought that if I’m ever gone, Casey can be the one for them. (Name) can be the one who will love him just as much as I do.”

“What are you talking about—?!” Leonardo’s breath hitched when the woman let go and ran behind him. 

“Please tell ‘em that for me.. before I go..”

“CASSANDRA!”

“They’re just gonna keep following us if something isn’t done. I have to go distract them!”

You stopped in your tracks the moment you found your best friend turning the other direction. The baby gone from her arms and in Leonardo’s instead.

“Casey? Casey!” you shouted. “Where the hell are you going!?”

She was running towards one of the giant machines. A large rock into the eye with her hockey stick and a loud BOOM blasted from an ignition.

You immediately sprinted after her. “Casey! CASEY, STOP!”

“(NAME)!” Leonardo followed. 

Cassandra caught the attention of other nearby mechs, this time using her hyperbeam gun to strike. 

You were starting to lose your distance.

“Please! I don’t want to lose you—!” Leonardo yanked you back with his other arm. This was when you felt your eyes burning. This couldn’t be happening, not when you weren’t prepared to lose someone.

Leonardo kept a tight grip on your arm. “(Name)! We have to go back!”

“Casey’s out there! Let go of me—!”

“Yet you’re out here— I’m not gonna lose you too while we’re at it. Listen to me: we have to go back, or you’re putting everyone else at risk. We have to go NOW.”

You took one final glance at Cassandra, so far away. 

Suddenly, a bright beam of light shot down on her ground. You watched the dark silhouette in your sight evaporated.

And you screamed.

Leonardo pulled you into his chest, hand over your mouth. He carried you over his shoulder as you sobbed into your own palms. He fled, fled as fast as he could with stinging eyes, not because of the dust this time.

No one back at the base could’ve prepared to see you and Leonardo return with Cassandra’s baby alone. 

That ache hurt more when you found a photograph of her and everyone tucked in little Casey’s blanket. 

[annonniiiiieeeee]

okokok, what if leo looses his arm from the capitol torture

Listen you all know I am more then willing to hack a limb off, but I want this to be more personal.

Yes losing a limb is painful and comes with its own set of difficulties. But I want something that is targeted. They used him as a strategist, they know he can fight but it’s his brain that they want to stop.

Cutting out his tongue means he can’t communicate plans. I doubt many people in that world know that sign langue’s exists much less understand it. (Again I haven’t read mockingjay yet so correct me if I’m wrong) but like Leo’s the face man. He talks and tells jokes to lighten the mood. He has a silver tongue. He can talk to anyone and get them on his side. He was amazing at getting sponsors once he knew what he was doing. He was a fan favorite because he was so charming. His voice is the way he gains peoples trust.

Rise Leo specifically is better as a support then a front fighter. He’s portal ability allows him to set other members of his team up for the best hits, add that to a strategic mind and he has the makings of a great leader. Similar in this au Leo would be great at communication either gaining support for his cause (keeping his brother alive, the rebellion once he’s in it) to take that away from him will hurt.

Same this with taking his hearing. He can speak but he can’t get any information or ideas. He can’t even hear himself and his volume. He can tell people his ideas but he had no clue what has already been stated. This plays into Leo’s insecurities well. To him the plan is obvious so someone else, someone better, had to have already suggested it. He’s the fool that’s been tortured by the capital, everyone else here is so much stronger then him. (Remember 13 has a belief that death is better then betrayal seeing the rescued victors as the greatest cowards and traitors, they are going to feed into this mind set)

Red ear sliders are already heard of hearing so it could play well into that

To take his sight means he can’t plan. Not with out a topography map. He will need someone to verbally explain the field to him instead of being able to see it himself. While he can communicate fine he’s not at a significant disadvantage. With training I’m sure he could learn to fight again, but would he be allowed to? Would anyone listen to the plans of a blind man?

It provides a very unique opportunity for his loved ones to support him. He doesn’t know the layout of 13 at all, someone going to have to help him find his way. In meetings I could see Usagi whispering the map layout to him. If Leo does suggest a plan no one’s going to take him seriously without backing from Raph or Usagi. (Again this will play into insecurities and build tension between him and his loved ones as he gets frustrated with being led everywhere and having people think he’s incompetent now that he can’t see)

They are all super interesting ideas that I would love to play with I just need to pick one.

Constants will be……..

Usagi’s endless support. And anger at the capital.

Mona

No matter how it goes down I think everyone rushes in to see their newly returned prisoners. Casey runs to Cassandra so happy to see his mom/sister (still deciding) she is not well.

Usagi’s and the brothers are looking around desperately, but it’s Usagi who hears Leo first. He and Leo get a desperate hug in before his brother catch up.

Leo doesn’t want to leave Usagi. Usagi kept his promise. When it came down to it he got Raph out alive. Leo trust him completely (this is important because I feel like he was just surrounded by 13 medical staff that remind him way to much of his torturers in the capital, but also Usagi has felt like a failure because Leo didn’t get out. He felt like he betrayed him by leaving him behind, even though Usagi could do nothing to save Leo at the time)

Raph leaves the group to go see Mona and she viciously attacks him.

Leo hears or sees the commotion and has Usagi help him over there. (He’s defiantly weak from the torture and starvation)

When they get the Mona calms at the sight of Leo. Before panicking and trying to get to him. He’s surrounded by bad people and he’s been her one form of comfort for a while now.

No bodies happy with it but Leo’s able to calm her down (maybe one of them gets hit by a guard who is trying to control Mona?)

Mona also realizes that Leo can’t speak/hear/see and loses it again thinking that district 13 and specifically Raph did this to him (“how could you let this happen to your little brother?!? You’re more of a monster then I thought!”)

Mona doesn’t want Leo to leave and he stays with her while the other try and figure out what is wrong with Mona

But yes while I’m always down for taking a limb I think for Leo it’s better to be one of those three. (It’s also a play on see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil)

So what do you guys think? Should I make a poll and just let y’all have at it?

[remmushound]

Bay/rise 37!! @errorfreak88 @selfindulgenz @digitl-art-monstr @brightlotusmoon @yarchurr @dakotafinely @sententiously-sarcastic @sprinklestheditty

Content warnings!! Mentions of death

The ringing in Leo’s ears was deafening. After his humiliating defeat, the best thing he could think to do was find someplace quiet to think. The single place in the lair that offered such solitude was Splinter’s room— the only single-person bedroom in the entirety of their home. It was small and Leo could barely fit through the doorway, and laying on the bed made him feel colossal, but he didn't care. He buried his face in the pillow and it smelled like his father and that was all that he cared about.

He didn't care about losing the spar. Sure, it was a bad sting to his self esteem, but at least his dad hadn’t been there to see it. But maybe if Splinter was there he could have talked some sense into Leo before he made a fool of himself in front of his brothers. He didn't know what he was doing and he admitted that to none but himself. He had been leader for almost four years— and even before then he had always taken well to bossing his brothers around. That’s why he had been made leader in the first place! Because Splinter saw something in him and chose to highlight that above all his flaws and faults. Leo still didn't know why!

As a kid, though he had always taken charge, his personality wasn’t just that. Not like what he was reduced to now. He remembered running the sewers with his brothers and mapping out the tunnels with their minds alone and how he was always the one who could find the way home even when Donnie’s techniques failed. He remembered Splinter taking them up to the storm drains so they could watch the parades go by in the streets. The colors, the people dancing, the music sounding off and filling Leo with such a bubbly, warm joy that he just wanted to dance along to any song that carried down the tunnels.

That was what ninjitsu was to him at first. Dancing. Memorizing the moves and following through as fluid and free as the dancers he saw on the streets and in movies. Trying to emulate what he saw— feeling the melody in the very blood that coursed through his veins. Then a fun hobby turned into an obligation. It wasn’t a game anymore— it wasn’t something to enjoy or a fun thing to practice in his free time. It was his duty, his responsibility. His honor. And he couldn’t let his father down!

He wasn’t human and he could never be human. He shouldn’t want to be human! He was a turtle— he was a mutant— he was Splinter’s son! He had to live up to all the stories he was told about how great he would be and he had to live up to his father’s expectations and he had to live up to what the people in the city needed him to be! He didn't need to dance, he didn't need to like his work—he shouldn’t like his work! Work is work and work isn’t meant to be enjoyed. He was a savior— a messiah in the form of a grotesque monstrosity and it was him and only him that could protect his brothers and the city and the earth and he just wished the ringing in his ears would stop—

Then he opened his eyes again. The ringing wasn‘t just in his ears. It was all around him. An alarm— Donnie’s alarm— sounding a warning of some enemy approaching. Leo looked up and dried his tears just as Donnie came rushing into the room.

“Leo! An alarm went off in the south tunnel! We should check it out! Are you gonna…?”

Leo stood up quickly, shoving his way past Donnie and reclaiming his swords on the way to the entry tunnel. He didn't dare look up at any of his brothers or their counterparts as he passed them by. He was a leader and he had to be strong and silent and he wasn’t allowed to cry. He wasn’t allowed to be weak. He had to be the best— he was the best! Even if Leonardo had beaten him.

They traversed the tunnels in silence. Leo’s brothers were all gathered around him, Mikey with his head hung low like a puppy and remarkably silent. Donnie gave Leo space instead of being right at his side as usual, and Raph put some distance between himself and his Leo for completely different reasons. He needed a chance to cool off before he strangled Leo for how the stubborn leader had been acting the past few dates. He could strangle him later, Raph told himself. Just wait until the sensei’s are safe.

Leonardo was in the lead of his family, Michelangelo clinging to his arm for security against the rushing water that tried to force him off his feet. Leonardo, slippery as he was, always had a better grip under the water than the land-dwelling box turtle could hope to achieve. Donatello was tapping away on his watch, though Michelangelo was half convinced that it was actually just a game. In the place of Raphael, who’s exhaustion couldn’t be moved even by the loud scream of the alarm, was April taking up the rear. She had yet to get her special baseball back, though whoever this Casey Jones was had promised to get it out of police holding for her. In its place she had a new, regular bat covered in nails. Not as effective as her mystic bat, but she was sure it could pack a punch nonetheless.

They came to the place where the alarm had gone off. All eight of them slowly came to a halt when they saw the intruder just standing there, calm as day, as if he had been waiting for them quite some time. Leo and his brothers all took an audible gasp as they stepped back, Leo putting his arms out to protect those behind him. Leonardo and his family, however, gasped for a whole different reason.

“HUESO!”

Despite Leo’s wide motion for them all to stay behind him, Leonardo lead his family to all ignore the leader and dash forward under Leo’s arms to greet the skeleton man. Hueso looked filthy, his normally flawless suit stained with the sewage he had to wade through and dripping even after he had found an almost-dry spot to stand on. 

“Oh Hueso! Es bueno verte! I can’t believe you’re here! I’d hug you if you weren’t so gross!” Leonardo laughed and held his arms out for a social-distanced hug.

“Yes, I’d do the same if not for similar reasons.” Hueso grumbled under his breath.

“How’d you get here Hues?” April asked, walking closer to the calaca than Leonardo dared.

“It is a very long story.”

***

“You go on ahead Cassandra. I got some loose ends to tie up.”

When Cassandra left through the rift and the portal closed behind her, only then did Draxum put Hueso back on the ground and release his vice-grip. Hueso gasped softly as he clutched at his throat, his eyes full of hate and locked on Draxum like he were the scum of the earth.

“What do you want from me?” Hueso asked finally, his eyes never once leaving the sheep yokai.

“We have a common means, calaca.” Draxum said, calm and steady. “I hear you are fond of the one called Leonardo.”

“Fond?” Hueso laughed, “I wouldn’t much call it fond as I would call it a... hostage situation.”

“But you know of him. You care for him?” Draxum made a fist and raised it to the air. “You are a very clever Yokai, I can tell. And I could trust no other with a message as important, and to accept what I am about to ask of you would ensure riches and safety for you and your family.”

A glint came to Hueso’s eyes. “What is your request?”

“My creations think me cruel. They know not of my plans, and I need a carrier to bring the news to them so we may unite our forces to take down a common enemy.”

“The Shadow Fiend…” Hueso whispered softly, looking to the place where the rift had once been. “He is not whole. He cannot be defeated in the state he is currently in.”

“Yes.” Drauxm growled softly.

“He must be made whole again, and the only way to do that is…”

“A sacrifice. A sacrifice of Hamato blood will bring the Shredder back whole. He’ll be defeatable.”

“But the cost...”

***

“...would be great.” Hueso finished. “You would be able to destroy The Shadow Fiend once and for all! He sent me here to be your guide.” Hueso looked to Leonardo.

“So he’s not bad!” Michelangelo said quite loudly, his voice echoing all around them as he ran fast to hug Hueso, almost tackling the older skeleton. “DRAXUM’S NOT BAD! I knew he wasn’t!”

“You… you’re just…” Leo pointed at Hueso.

“Just a bone man, yes.”

“Hm.” Leo smacked his lips together as he nodded ever so slightly. “Okay.”

“Can I touch your bones, dude?” Mikey asked, his mouth hanging open and eyes wide.

“That is extremely disrespectful.” Hueso spat, “You should show more respect to your elders.”

Everyone just stared at him.

“Well? Data prisa! We haven’t got all day!” Hueso started to usher the teens back down the sewer tunnel, his confidence and booming voice enough to compensate for the shorter and weaker form he had compared to the brothers. “Malditos chicos! Tan lento!”

The mutants scattered along at his urging just as they would if their Splinters had done the same. Hueso grabbed Leonardo before the blue ninja could get far. 

“Talk with me.” He said in Spanish before they started to walk again.

“Why the Spanish?” Leonardo spoke with the same tongue and in a hushed voice. He hoped none of the counterpart-brothers could understand what was being said.

“We must talk of your father in private.”

“Splinter? Why? Do you know something?”

“I told you the ceremony requires blood magic! It requires the host to be bled and possessed by the Dark Armor. The host would be your father with his hamato blood.”

Leonardo’s eyes went wide. He stopped walking for a moment, but Hueso grabbed him by the arm and forced him to keep going.

“B-but if we destroy the shredder then he’d be free right?”

“To destroy The Shredder, we will have to destroy the host.” Hueso looked up at Leonardo with mournful eyes. “If we go through with this, then you will have to kill your own father.”

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• Banquet: a plate of cold, hairy chicken and artificially coloured green peas completely surrounded by dreary speeches and appeals for donations. – Bennett Cerf • Barney’s Dad was really bad so Barney hatched a plan when his dad said “Eat your peas.” Barney shouted no and ran Barney tricked his mean old dad and locked him in the cellar Barney’s Mom never found out where he’d gone, Cause Barney didn’t tell her. There his dad spent his life eating mice and gruel With every bite for fifty years he was sorry he’d been cruel – Bill Watterson • Be careful what you say. It comes true. It comes true. I had to leave home in order to see the world logically, logic the new way of seeing. I learned to think that mysteries are for explanation. I enjoy the simplicity. Concrete pours out of my mouth to cover the forests with freeways and sidewalks. Give me plastics, periodical tables, TV dinners with vegetables no more complex than peas mixed with diced carrots. Shine floodlights into dark corners: no ghosts. – Maxine Hong Kingston • Being pretty on the inside means you don’t hit your brother and you eat all your peas – that’s what my grandma taught me. – Lord Chesterfield • Blue does not go with everything,” Will told her. “It does not go with red, for instance.” “I have a red and blue striped waistcoat,” Henry interjected, reaching for the peas. “And if that isn’t proof that those two colors should never be seen together under Heaven, I don’t know what is. – Cassandra Clare

• Cacao is rich in happy phenethylamine chemicals called PEA. These compounds have been associated with feeling good and falling in love. – David Wolfe • Catherine went still. Her eyes closed against a sudden wet sting. ‘Did you accept her proposal?’ Leo nuzzled tenderly into the hollow beneath her ear. ‘Of course not, pea-goose. – Lisa Kleypas • Children pick up words as pigeons peas And utter them again as God shall please. – John Ray • Civilisation makes us all as alike as peas in a pod, and it is the very uncouth – uncivilised, if you will – element which individualises nations. – Alec-Tweedie • Donald Trump has said that I would like to sit down and talk to people, work things out. Well, guess what? Some of the evidence is that was, he went straight to Mexico and sat down and had a conference and a meeting directly with Pea Nieto to go over all this. OK, that. – Kimberly Guilfoyle • Dried peas and beans, being rather on the dull side, much like dull people respond readily to the right contacts. – Irma S. Rombauer • For a hungry man, green peas are more shiny than gleaming pearls. – Mehmet Murat Ildan • Frozen peas can be shelled very fast with a wringer-type washer. Put a pan on one side of the wringer to catch the peas and the pods go on through. You will think peas will go through the wringer and be mashed the moment the pod hits the wringer, but they will pop out before they go through. A very fast job can be done this way. – Heloise • Hebrew was frozen, like frozen peas, fresh out of the Bible. – Etgar Keret • Here are sweet peas, on tiptoe for a flight; With wings of gentle flush o’er delicate white, And taper fingers catching at all things, To bind them all about with tiny rings. – John Keats • Hey, look at this!” He holds up a glistening, perfect pearl about the size of a pea. “You know, if you put enough pressure on coal it turns to pearls,” he says earnestly to Finnick. “No, it doesn’t,” says Finnick dismissively. But I crack up, remembering that’s how a clueless Effie Trinket presented us to the people of the Capitol last year, before anyone knew us. As coal pressured into pearls by our weighty existence. Beauty that arose out of pain. – Suzanne Collins • How long have you been here? (Jericho) Don’t know. Again, tried to count once, got depressed so I stopped. I find it easier to just go with the flow. Ease with the peas. (Asmodeus) Ease with the peas? (Jericho) Yeah, that’s not a happy memory, either. Let’s forget I mentioned it. (Asmodeus) – Sherrilyn Kenyon • How lucious lies the pea within the pod. – Emily Dickinson • How much courage does it take to fire up your tractor and plow under a crop you spent six or seven years growing? How much courage to go on and do that after you’ve spent all that time finding out how to prepare the soil and when to plant and how much to water and when to reap? How much to just say, “I have to quit these peas. Peas are no good for me, I better try corn or beans. – Stephen King • Hugh Grant and I both laugh and cringe at the same things, worship the same books, eat the same food, hate central heating and sleep with the window open. I thought these things were vital, but being two peas in a pod ended up not being enough. – Elizabeth Hurley • I am as comfortless as a pilgrim with peas in his shoes – and as cold as Charity, Chastity or any other Virtue. – Lord Byron • I cannot wait to go get my fried butter on a stick, and fried cheesecake on a stick and…Twinkies, especially in honor of those who would rather just be forced to eat our peas. – Sarah Palin • I had pecs for about two days. Everyone would hate me. Just look at me walking around with my little peacoat on. My little customized pea coat. – Robert Pattinson • I have a few cavities. I don’t like to call them cavities, though – I like to call them ‘places to put stuff’. ‘Do you know where I can store a pea’ ‘Yes, I have some locations available.’ – Mitch Hedberg • I like not lady-slippers, Nor yet the sweet-pea blossoms, Nor yet the flaky roses, Red or white as snow; I like the chaliced lilies, The heavy Eastern lilies, The gorgeous tiger-lilies, That in our garden grow. – Thomas Bailey Aldrich • I liked playing Morph in Mash and Peas and doing Phil Daniels in the Blur Rock Profile was a giggle too. – Paul Putner • I listen to my iPod as I walk on. If I’m winning I’ll listen to the same song, that’s like a good luck thing – usually The Black Eyed Peas’ Let’s Get It Started. – Andy Murray • I love fresh vegetables and we always include them in our meals. I don’t force my kids to eat asparagus, but they do eat peas, broccoli, and carrots. – Alison Sweeney • I loved pop music as a little kid. Things like the Black Eyed Peas. If it had a catchy chorus, I was into it.- James Bay • I met Mel [Brooks] backstage in Anne’s [Bancroft] dressing room. He was wearing one of those pea coats, pea jackets that were made famous by the Merchant Marines, and I admired it and he said, “You know, they used to call this a urine jacket, but it didn’t sell.” – Gene Wilder • I must be like the princess who felt the pea through seven mattresses; each book is a pea. – C. S. Forester • I never dream in French, but certain French words seem better or more fun than English words – like ‘pois chiches’ for chick peas! – Lydia Davis • I think Black Eyed Peas are kind of unique in the ways they produce their songs. Their songs are very current. – Steve Pink • I think everything happens for a reason and all of my choices have led me up to my solo album and made me stronger, not only as an artist but as a person. I want to do more the Black Eyed Peas albums and more of my own albums. I’m in this for the long run. – Fergie • I thought that I had found something new. But then I convinced myself that the Abbot Gregor Mendel in Brünn, had, during the sixties, not only obtained the same result through extensive experiments with peas, which lasted for many years, as did de Vries and I, but had also given exactly the same explanation, as far as that was possible in 1866. – Carl Correns • I used to visit and revisit it a dozen times a day, and stand in deep contemplation over my vegetable progeny with a love that nobody could share or conceive of who had never taken part in the process of creation. It was one of the most bewitching sights in the world to observe a hill of beans thrusting aside the soil, or a rose of early peas just peeping forth sufficiently to trace a line of delicate green. – Nathaniel Hawthorne • I will be brave, thought Despereaux. I will try to be brave like a knight in shining armour. I will be brave for the Princess Pea. – Kate DiCamillo • I will say A Pea in the Pod saved my life – at the end of my pregnancy. I even wear their tanks now to work out in because they’re really long. – Kim Kardashian • I worry about people who get born nowadays, because they get born into such tiny families–sometimes into no family at all. When you’re the only pea in the pod, your parents are likely to get you confused with the Hope Diamond. And that encourages you to talk too much. – Russell Baker • If the Earth is the size of a pea in New York, then the Sun is a beachball 50m away, Pluto is 4km away, and the next nearest star is in Tokyo. Now shrink Pluto’s orbit into a coffee cup; then our Milky Way Galaxy fills North America. – Wayne Hays • If you don’t have at least a working knowledge of the Hawaiian language… you can’t chant well. You cannot… receive the images of poetry paints for you. It’s like having peas and no pod. – Keali’i Reichel • If you gave kids peas that didn’t look like peas and said they were a space shuttle, they’re much more apt to eat them because it’s now playtime. – Hod Lipson • If you want to grow up to be a big, strong pea, you have to eat your candy,” Papa Pea would say. – Amy Krouse Rosenthal • I’m a great believer in conversational rhythm. I think in terms of rhythmic dialogue. It’s so easy, you can talk naturally. It’s like peas rolling off a knife. Take the great screen actors and actresses, Bette Davis, Eddie Robinson, Jimmy Cagney, Spencer Tracy. They all talk in rhythm. And rhythm and movement are the life of the screen. – Lorenz Hart • I’m good in the kitchen. I can cook seafood, collard greens, black-eyed peas. – Monique Coleman • I’m obsessed with broccoli, carrots, celery, string beans, snap peas, black kale, brussels sprouts, cabbage – I could go on! They used to call me ‘rabbit’ when I was a kid. I hate mushrooms, though. I apologize to fungi lovers, but this way, there’s more for you! – Lisa Edelstein • In order to get big things done, sometimes, presidents have to be deft at moving the pea around under the shells. – Charlie Pierce • In school, they would tell you that life wouldn’t come to you; you had to go out and make it your own. But when it came to love, the message for girls seemed to be this: Don’t. Don’t go after what you want. Wait. Wait to be chosen, as if only in the eye of another could one truly find value. The message was confusing and infuriating. It was a shell game with no actual pea under the rapidly moving cups. – Libba Bray • In the early years of the Uprising, we survived on one meal a day of horse meat and soup, but by the end we ate only dried peas, dogs, cats and birds. – Diane Ackerman • In the game of life, less diversity means fewer options for change. Wild or domesticated, panda or pea, adaptation is the requirement for survival. – Cary Fowler • In the range of things toddlers have to learn and endlessly review–why you can’t put bottles with certain labels in your mouth, why you have to sit on the potty, why you can’t take whatever you want in the store, why you don’t hit your friends–by the time we got to why you can’t drop your peas, well, I was dropping a few myself. – Mary Blakely • Is that clear?” said Borcht “as clear as pea soup” I said – James Patterson • It is a great delusion to suppose that flesh-meat of any kind is essential to health. Considerably more than three parts of the work in the world is done by men who never taste anything but vegetable, farinaceous food, and that of the simplest kind. There are more strength-producing properties in wholemeal flour, peas, beans, lentils, oatmeal, roots, and other vegetables of the same class, than there are beef or mutton, poultry or fish, or animal food of any description whatever. – Catherine Booth • It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn’t feel like a giant. I felt very, very small. – Neil Armstrong • It was Lisa, aged five, whose mother asked her to thank my wife for the peas we had sent them from our garden. ‘I thought the peas were awful, I wish you and Mrs. Thurber were dead, and I hate trees,’ said Lisa. – James Thurber • It’s a trifle. It’s got all of these layers. First there’s a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch, then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sauteed with peas and onions, then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top! – Rachel • Lack of world vision in any Christian produces a ‘pea-sized Christianity’. – David Bryant • Let us consider what we call vicious luxury. No gratification, however sensual, can of itself be esteemed vicious. A gratification is only vicious when it engrosses all a man’s expense, and leaves no ability for such acts of duty and generosity as are required by his situation and fortune. The same care and toil that raise a dish of peas at Christmas would give bread to a whole family during six months. – David Hume • Lives are snowflakes – unique in detail, forming patterns we have seen before, but as like one another as peas in a pod (and have you ever looked at peas in a pod? I mean, really looked at them? There’s not a chance you’d mistake one for another, after a minute’s close inspection.) – Neil Gaiman • Love is ridiculous. But love is also wonderful. And powerful. And Despereaux’s love for the Princess Pea would prove, in time, to be all of these things: powerful, wonderful, and ridiculous. – Kate DiCamillo • Mainstream people dislike homosexuality because they can’t help concentrating on what homosexual men do to one another. And when you contemplate what people do, you think of yourself doing it. And they don’t like that. That’s the famous joke: I don’t like peas, and I’m glad I don’t like them, because if I liked them I would eat them and I hate them. – Quentin Crisp • Memory overshadows the present and dims the future “into something thicker than its usual pea soup.” – Vladimir Nabokov • Mostly, I spend my time being a mother to my two children, working in my organic garden, raising masses of sweet peas, being passionately involved in conservation, recycling and solar energy. – Blythe Danner • My boy, the ‘quenelles de sole’ were splendid, but the peas were poor. You should shake the pan gently, all the time, like this. – Marie-Antoine Careme • My cat is completely blind. I am watching her now, sweet-pea that is, circling the kitchen floor and bumping into the kitchen chairs. She is kind of like a furry ball in a pinball machine…she bumps into something and then just turns and moves on…it makes me smile – although i know it’s just not that funny. I think i laugh because what i really feel like doing, is crying – Jann Arden • My family lived off the land and summer evening meals featured baked stuffed tomatoes, potato salad, corn on the cob, fresh shelled peas and homemade ice cream with strawberries from our garden. With no air conditioning in those days, the cool porch was the center of our universe after the scorching days. – David Mixner • My favorite healthy foods are Jamaican chicken soup, Jamaican chicken stew peas, Jamaican brown stew chicken, plantains and banana chips. – Sanya Richards-Ross • My musical taste is like a 16-year-old girl’s when it comes to working out – Rihanna, Black Eyed Peas, Miley Cyrus. I love it all! – Jessica Capshaw • My solo album is different from the Black Eyed Peas albums because I’m a singer first and foremost. There are more ballads and more intimacy between me and the listener because sometimes when you’re in a group you don’t have space to air out your dirty laundry. – Fergie • My teacher said my brain was the size of a pea. He made my life miserable by singling me out in the classroom as a failure. – Willard Wigan • No member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who has canned peas, topped beets, hauled hay, shoveled coal, or helped in any way to serve others ever forgets or regrets the experience of helping provide for those in need. – Thomas S. Monson • Nobody wants somebody who wants them for what they have or the position their in- you want somebody who wants you for you. In case it all goes crazy and it all turns to dust. I want somebody who loves me in the welfare line, eating gumbo, eating fish,black eyed peas and rice. I want somebody that loves me. God wants you to love him, not his cars, not his house, not his blessing- love him. – T. D. Jakes • Nothing rekindles my spirits, gives comfort to my heart and mind, more than a visit to Mississippi… and to be regaled as I often have been, with a platter of fried chicken, field peas, collard greens, fresh corn on the cob, sliced tomatoes with French dressing… and to top it all off with a wedge of freshly baked pecan pie. – Craig Claiborne • Now hoppin’-john was F. Jasmine’s very favorite food. She had always warned them to wave a plate of rice and peas before her nose when she was in her coffin, to make certain there was no mistake; for if a breath of life was left in her, she would sit up and eat, but if she smelled the hopping-john, and did not stir, then they could just nail down the coffin and be certain she was truly dead. – Carson McCullers • October, baptize me with leaves! Swaddle me in corduroy and nurse me with split pea soup. October, tuck tiny candy bars in my pockets and carve my smile into a thousand pumpkins. O autumn! O teakettle! O grace! – Rainbow Rowell • One recent menu for suspected terrorists at Guantanamo consisted of orange glazed chicken, fresh fruit crepe, steamed peas and mushrooms, and rice pilaf. Sounds like the sort of thing you’d get at Windows on the World – if it still existed. – Ann Coulter • Our full humanity is contingent on our hospitality; we can be complete only when we are giving something away; when we sit at the table and pass the peas to the person next to us we see that person in a whole new way. – Alice Waters • Pea was aware suddenly of how fragile her heart was, how much darkness was inside it, fighting, always, with the light. She did not like the rat. She would neverlike the rat, but she knew what she must do to save her own heart. – Kate DiCamillo • Peas baffled me. I could not understand why grown-ups would take things that tasted so good raw, and then put them in tins, and make them revolting. – Neil Gaiman • Peas went with carrots as infallibly as ham went with eggs. For years I thought carrots and peas grew on the same vine. – Peg Bracken • People ate bread made of the shells of peas because there was no flour. – Bel Kaufman • Poetry is a rich, full-bodied whistle, cracked ice crunching in pails, the night that numbs the leaf, the duel of two nightingales, the sweet pea that has run wild, Creation’s tears in shoulder blades. – Boris Pasternak • Reader, you may ask this queston. In fact, you must ask this question. Is it ridiculous for a very small, sickly, big-eared mouse to fall in love with a beautiful princess named Pea? The answer is… Yes. Of course it’s ridiculous. Love is ridiculous. But love is also wonderful. And powerful. – Kate DiCamillo • Rice and peas fit into that category of dishes where two ordinary foods, combined together, ignite a pleasure far beyond the capacity of either of its parts alone. Like rhubarb and strawberries, apple pie and cheese, roast pork and sage, the two tastes and textures meld together into the sort of subtle transcendental oneness that we once fantasized would be our experience when we finally found the ideal mate. – John Thorne • Runny’s Nicpic One day Runny Babbit Met little Franny Fog. He said, “Let’s have a nicpic Down by the lollow hog.” He brought some cutter bookies, Some teanuts and some pea. And what did Franny Fog bring? Her whole fog framily. – Shel Silverstein • She could not explain or quite understand that it wasn’t altogether jealousy she felt, it was rage. And not because she couldn’t shop like that or dress like that. It was because that was what girls were supposed to be like. That was what men – people, everybody – thought they should be like. Beautiful, treasured, spoiled, selfish, pea-brained. That was what a girl should be, to be fallen in love with. Then she would become a mother and she’d be all mushily devoted to her babies. Not selfish anymore, but just as pea-brained. Forever. – Alice Munro • Soft petals, yes, but not so barren quite, Mingled with these, smooth bean and wrinkled pea; And go along with you ere you lose sight Of what you came for and become like me,

Slave to a springtime passion for the earth. How love burns through the Putting in the Seed On through the watching for that early birth When, just as the soil tarnishes with weed,

The sturdy seedling with arched body comes Shouldering its way and shedding the earth crumbs. – Robert Frost • Some are trapped in boxes of pea-sized Christianity, full of myths about missions that rob them of incentive to care about the unreached – David Bryant • Some days confidence shrinks to the size of a pea, and the backbone feels like a feather. We want to be somewhere else, and don’t know where – want to be someone else and don’t know who. – Jean Hersey • Someone is dead. Even the trees know it, those poor old dancers who come on lewdly, all pea-green scarfs and spine pole. – Anne Sexton • Sometimes when you are trying not to think about something it keeps popping back in your head you can’t help it you think about it and think about it and think about it until your brain feels like a squashed pea. – Sharon Creech • STAY HOME FROM SCHOOL FAUX VOMIT: 1 cup of cooked oatmeal 1.2 cup of sour cream (or buttermilk ranch dressing or anything that smells like rancid, sour milk) 2 chopped cheese sticks (for chunkiness) 1 uncooked egg (for authentic slimy texture) 1 can of split pea soup (for putrid green color) 1/4 cup of raisins (to increase gross-osity) Mix ingredients and simmer over low heat for 2 minutes Let mixture cool to warm vomit temperature Use liberally as needed Makes 4 to 5 cups – Rachel Renée Russell • Straight up from this road Away from the fitted particles of frost Coating the hull of each chick pea, And the stiff archer bug making its way In the morning dark, toe hair by toe hair, Up the stem of the trillim, Straight up through the sky above this road right now, The galaxies of the Cygnus A cluster Are colliding with each other in a massive swarm Of interpenetrating and exploding catastrophes. I try to remember that. – Pattiann Rogers • Sweet pea?'” Alec said. “I was just trying it out.” Alec shook his head. “No.” Magnus shrugged. “I’ll keep at it. – Cassandra Clare • Tess and I are a good match. She understands intimately where I came from. She can cheer me up on my darkest days. It’s as if she came perfectly happy home instead of what Kaede just told me. I feel a relaxing warmth at the thought, realizing suddenly how much I’m anticipating meeting up with Tess again. Where she goes, I go, and vice versa. Peas in a pod. Then there’s June. Even the thought of her name makes it hard for me to breathe. I’m almost embarrassed by my reaction. Are June and I a good match? No. It’s the first word to pop into my mind. And yet, still. – Marie Lu • That admiration of the ‘neat but not gaudy,’ which is commonly reported to have influenced the devil when he painted his tail pea green. – John Ruskin • The best minds come from the most unexpected faces and places. There is no image for intelligence or genius. Genius is something that cannot be seen. It cannot be produced or manufactured. It is something that even the true genius thinks is unattainable. The genius recognizes he’s just a small pea in a sea of infinite atoms. Knowledge is as infinite as the universe. The man who claims to know all, only reveals to all that he really knows nothing. – Suzy Kassem • The Black Eyed Peas sell thousands of seats in every country on the planet. You can’t get nervous. We’re all succeeding in all different parts of our careers. Just because I produce Nas and John Legend and Justin Timberlake doesn’t mean it will change the dynamic of the Peas. – will.i.am • The Colonel led all the cheers. Cornbread!” he screamed. CHICKEN!” the crowd responded. Rice!” PEAS!” And then, all together: “WE GOT HIGHER SATs.” Hip Hip Hip Hooray!” the Colonel cried. YOU’LL BE WORKIN’ FOR US SOMEDAY! – John Green • The meal was pretentious – a kind of beetroot soup with greasy croutons; pork underdone with loud vulgar cabbage, potato croquettes, tinned peas in tiny jam-tart cases, watery gooseberry sauce; trifle made with a resinous wine, so jammy that all my teeth lit up at once. – Anthony Burgess • The only really interesting thing about someone that makes you want to explore them further is their heart, and Miss Honeycut has a teeny tiny pea-sized one and it takes you nowhere you want to go. – Polly Horvath • The Owl and the Pussycat went to sea In a beautiful pea-green boat: They took some honey, and plenty of money Wrapped up in a five-pound note. . . They dined on mince and slices of quince, Which they ate with a runcible spoon; And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand, They danced by the light of the moon, The moon, The moon, They danced by the light of the moon. – Edward Lear • The owl and the pussycat went to sea, / In a beautiful pea green boat. / They took some honey, and plenty of money, / Wrapped up in a five pound note. – Edward Lear • The peanut is neither a pea nor a nut. Discuss. – Mike Myers • The Princess and the Pea?” Gabrielle suggested. “Not enough time,” Kat said “Where’s Waldo?” Gabrielle went on. “No.” Hamish recoiled. “I am still not allowed back in Morocco. – Ally Carter • The sower may mistake and sow his peas crookedly; the peas make no mistake, but come up and show his line. – Ralph Waldo Emerson • There are few pleasures like really burrowing one’s nose into sweet peas. – Angela Thirkell • There are m]oral precepts that we consider really important, such as ‘don’t pick your nose’ or ‘don’t eat peas with a knife’. There may, for ought I know, be admirable reasons for eating peas with a knife, but . . . early persuasion has made me completely incapable of appreciating them.- Bertrand Russell • There are so many things to be tortured about, sweet pea. So many torturous things in this life. Don’t let the man who doesn’t love you be one of them. – Cheryl Strayed • There has long been a bemoaning of the lack of opportunity to make films that are anything but explosions or the ladling on the pea soup or whatever you want to call it. You can hardly make a movie today where somebody isn’t a murderer or a rapist or, if it’s a “Fried Green Tomatoes” that isn’t some wistful thing on this, that or the other thing. – Jack Nicholson • There must be a way to get more of these in me faster, thought the inventor of pea soup as he sat eating peas. – Dana Gould • This fellow pecks up wit, as pigeons peas; And utters it again when God doth please: He is wit’s pedler; and retails his wares. – William Shakespeare • Though loyal and able and brave, Pea had never displayed the slightest ability to learn from his experience, though his experience was considerable. Time and again he would walk up on the wrong side of a horse that was known to kick, and then look surprised when he got kicked. – Larry McMurtry • Thoughts come maimed and plucked of plumage from the lips, which, from the pea, in the silence of your own leisure and study, would be born with far more beauty. – Marguerite Gardiner, Countess of Blessington • Throw high risers at the chin; throw peas at the knees; throw it here when they’re lookin’ there; throw it there when they’re lookin’ here. – Satchel Paige • Tibby cried into her soup when it finally came. “I’m scared… ,” she told it. The carrots and peas made no reply, but she felt better for having told them. – Ann Brashares • Today, most women are surrounded by ingenious gadgets. They don’t grow the peas or raise the chicken that they serve for dinner; instead they hunt and gather in the grocery store. They go through catalogs or department stores to buy clothes instead of shearing sheep, carding wool, and weaving cloth for skirts and coats and blankets. – Helen Fisher • We all know what feminists are. They are shrill, overly aggressive, man-hating, ball-busting, selfish, hairy, extremist, deliberately unattractive women with absolutely no sense of humor who see sexism at every turn. They make men’s testicles shrivel up to the size of peas, they detest the family and think all children should be deported or drowned. – Susan J. Douglas • We have fried catfish, country fried steak and cinnamon-roasted pork. We have collard greens, black-eyed peas, hush puppies, biscuits, sweet potato pie and lots of gravy. Most players love it, but we also have a baked catfish for players who are still looking to stay on the approved diet. – Mark Farner • What you discover about life’s shell game is that it’s hardest to follow the pea when you’re the pea. – Robert Breault • Whatever cleaning goes on on the planet, women do 99% of it. But see, women are not as proud of their 99% as men are of our one! We clean something up, we’re gonna talk about it all year long. It might be on the news, you don’t know. A woman could be out re-paving the driveway. Men actually have enough gall to run out on the porch and go “Hey baby? Man, it’s hot as hell out here, ain’t it! Look, don’t worry about emptyin’ that ashtray in the den, I done got it, all right? Did it for you, sweet pea. I’m gonna go take a nap now, all right?” – Jeff Foxworthy • When Pococke inquired of Grotius, where the proof was of that story of the pigeon, trained to pick peas from Mahomet’s (Muhammad’s) ear, and pass for an angel dictating to him? Grotius answered that there was no proof! – Thomas Carlyle • When you look at the Lady Gagas of the world, or the Jay-Zs, or the Black Eyed Peas, these are people who have one album release and it’s a worldwide one. – Tinie Tempah • When you think of the “Exorcist” (1973) you think of Linda Blair and pea soup and all this madness, but really if you look at the first half of that film, the stuff between her and Ellen Burstyn is so naturalistic and so real. – Matt Reeves • When you’re the only pea in the pod, your parents are likely to get you confused with the Hope diamond. – Russell Baker • Who watches golf on TV? Who calls eight friends over and gets a keg of beer? Landscapers, I guess. They sit around the TV, yelling, “Will you look at that golf path?Pure pea gravel.” – Jeff Cesario • William Tell could take an apple off your head, [Phil] Taylor could take out a processed pea. – Sid Waddell • You know, when I eat three peas, I’m pregnant. When I visit a city, I’m buying a house. – Vanessa Paradis • Young people want to look like peas in a pod, and there is no use trying to make them different. – Ilka Chase

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[equitiesstocks]

Peas Quotes

Official Website: Peas Quotes

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  • A man must have something to cling to. Without that he is as a pea vine sprawling in search of a trellis…. I was all asprawl, clinging to Beauty, which is a very restless trellis. – E. B. White • A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it’s time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer. – Garrison Keillor • A monkey was carrying two handfuls of peas. One little pea dropped out. He tried to pick it up, and split twenty. He tried to pick up the twenty, and split them all. Then he lost his temper, scattered the peas in all directions and ran away – Leo Tolstoy • A solid man of Boston; A comfortable man with dividends, And the first salmon and the first green peas. – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow • A typical Irish dinner would be: cream flavored with lobster, cream with bits of veal in it, green peas and cream, cream cheese, cream flavored with strawberries. – Nancy Mitford • All I wanted was to be a pea of being inside the green pod of time. – Billy Collins • All things here appear to me to trudge on in one and the same round: we rise in the morning that we may eat breakfast, dinner andsupper and to bed again that we may get up the next morning and do the same: so that you never saw two peas more alike than our yesterday and to-day. – Thomas Jefferson • An election cannot give a country a firm sense of direction if it has two or more national parties which merely have different names but are as alike in their principles and aims as peas in the same pod. – Franklin D. Roosevelt • As cows need milking and sweet peas need picking, so writers must continually exercise their mental muscles by a daily stint. – Joan Aiken • Aspirin is so good for roses, brandy for sweet peas, and a squeeze of lemon-juice for the fleshy flowers, like begonias. – Gerald Durrell

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• Banquet: a plate of cold, hairy chicken and artificially coloured green peas completely surrounded by dreary speeches and appeals for donations. – Bennett Cerf • Barney’s Dad was really bad so Barney hatched a plan when his dad said “Eat your peas.” Barney shouted no and ran Barney tricked his mean old dad and locked him in the cellar Barney’s Mom never found out where he’d gone, Cause Barney didn’t tell her. There his dad spent his life eating mice and gruel With every bite for fifty years he was sorry he’d been cruel – Bill Watterson • Be careful what you say. It comes true. It comes true. I had to leave home in order to see the world logically, logic the new way of seeing. I learned to think that mysteries are for explanation. I enjoy the simplicity. Concrete pours out of my mouth to cover the forests with freeways and sidewalks. Give me plastics, periodical tables, TV dinners with vegetables no more complex than peas mixed with diced carrots. Shine floodlights into dark corners: no ghosts. – Maxine Hong Kingston • Being pretty on the inside means you don’t hit your brother and you eat all your peas – that’s what my grandma taught me. – Lord Chesterfield • Blue does not go with everything,” Will told her. “It does not go with red, for instance.” “I have a red and blue striped waistcoat,” Henry interjected, reaching for the peas. “And if that isn’t proof that those two colors should never be seen together under Heaven, I don’t know what is. – Cassandra Clare

• Cacao is rich in happy phenethylamine chemicals called PEA. These compounds have been associated with feeling good and falling in love. – David Wolfe • Catherine went still. Her eyes closed against a sudden wet sting. ‘Did you accept her proposal?’ Leo nuzzled tenderly into the hollow beneath her ear. ‘Of course not, pea-goose. – Lisa Kleypas • Children pick up words as pigeons peas And utter them again as God shall please. – John Ray • Civilisation makes us all as alike as peas in a pod, and it is the very uncouth – uncivilised, if you will – element which individualises nations. – Alec-Tweedie • Donald Trump has said that I would like to sit down and talk to people, work things out. Well, guess what? Some of the evidence is that was, he went straight to Mexico and sat down and had a conference and a meeting directly with Pea Nieto to go over all this. OK, that. – Kimberly Guilfoyle • Dried peas and beans, being rather on the dull side, much like dull people respond readily to the right contacts. – Irma S. Rombauer • For a hungry man, green peas are more shiny than gleaming pearls. – Mehmet Murat Ildan • Frozen peas can be shelled very fast with a wringer-type washer. Put a pan on one side of the wringer to catch the peas and the pods go on through. You will think peas will go through the wringer and be mashed the moment the pod hits the wringer, but they will pop out before they go through. A very fast job can be done this way. – Heloise • Hebrew was frozen, like frozen peas, fresh out of the Bible. – Etgar Keret • Here are sweet peas, on tiptoe for a flight; With wings of gentle flush o’er delicate white, And taper fingers catching at all things, To bind them all about with tiny rings. – John Keats • Hey, look at this!” He holds up a glistening, perfect pearl about the size of a pea. “You know, if you put enough pressure on coal it turns to pearls,” he says earnestly to Finnick. “No, it doesn’t,” says Finnick dismissively. But I crack up, remembering that’s how a clueless Effie Trinket presented us to the people of the Capitol last year, before anyone knew us. As coal pressured into pearls by our weighty existence. Beauty that arose out of pain. – Suzanne Collins • How long have you been here? (Jericho) Don’t know. Again, tried to count once, got depressed so I stopped. I find it easier to just go with the flow. Ease with the peas. (Asmodeus) Ease with the peas? (Jericho) Yeah, that’s not a happy memory, either. Let’s forget I mentioned it. (Asmodeus) – Sherrilyn Kenyon • How lucious lies the pea within the pod. – Emily Dickinson • How much courage does it take to fire up your tractor and plow under a crop you spent six or seven years growing? How much courage to go on and do that after you’ve spent all that time finding out how to prepare the soil and when to plant and how much to water and when to reap? How much to just say, “I have to quit these peas. Peas are no good for me, I better try corn or beans. – Stephen King • Hugh Grant and I both laugh and cringe at the same things, worship the same books, eat the same food, hate central heating and sleep with the window open. I thought these things were vital, but being two peas in a pod ended up not being enough. – Elizabeth Hurley • I am as comfortless as a pilgrim with peas in his shoes – and as cold as Charity, Chastity or any other Virtue. – Lord Byron • I cannot wait to go get my fried butter on a stick, and fried cheesecake on a stick and…Twinkies, especially in honor of those who would rather just be forced to eat our peas. – Sarah Palin • I had pecs for about two days. Everyone would hate me. Just look at me walking around with my little peacoat on. My little customized pea coat. – Robert Pattinson • I have a few cavities. I don’t like to call them cavities, though – I like to call them ‘places to put stuff’. ‘Do you know where I can store a pea’ ‘Yes, I have some locations available.’ – Mitch Hedberg • I like not lady-slippers, Nor yet the sweet-pea blossoms, Nor yet the flaky roses, Red or white as snow; I like the chaliced lilies, The heavy Eastern lilies, The gorgeous tiger-lilies, That in our garden grow. – Thomas Bailey Aldrich • I liked playing Morph in Mash and Peas and doing Phil Daniels in the Blur Rock Profile was a giggle too. – Paul Putner • I listen to my iPod as I walk on. If I’m winning I’ll listen to the same song, that’s like a good luck thing – usually The Black Eyed Peas’ Let’s Get It Started. – Andy Murray • I love fresh vegetables and we always include them in our meals. I don’t force my kids to eat asparagus, but they do eat peas, broccoli, and carrots. – Alison Sweeney • I loved pop music as a little kid. Things like the Black Eyed Peas. If it had a catchy chorus, I was into it.- James Bay • I met Mel [Brooks] backstage in Anne’s [Bancroft] dressing room. He was wearing one of those pea coats, pea jackets that were made famous by the Merchant Marines, and I admired it and he said, “You know, they used to call this a urine jacket, but it didn’t sell.” – Gene Wilder • I must be like the princess who felt the pea through seven mattresses; each book is a pea. – C. S. Forester • I never dream in French, but certain French words seem better or more fun than English words – like ‘pois chiches’ for chick peas! – Lydia Davis • I think Black Eyed Peas are kind of unique in the ways they produce their songs. Their songs are very current. – Steve Pink • I think everything happens for a reason and all of my choices have led me up to my solo album and made me stronger, not only as an artist but as a person. I want to do more the Black Eyed Peas albums and more of my own albums. I’m in this for the long run. – Fergie • I thought that I had found something new. But then I convinced myself that the Abbot Gregor Mendel in Brünn, had, during the sixties, not only obtained the same result through extensive experiments with peas, which lasted for many years, as did de Vries and I, but had also given exactly the same explanation, as far as that was possible in 1866. – Carl Correns • I used to visit and revisit it a dozen times a day, and stand in deep contemplation over my vegetable progeny with a love that nobody could share or conceive of who had never taken part in the process of creation. It was one of the most bewitching sights in the world to observe a hill of beans thrusting aside the soil, or a rose of early peas just peeping forth sufficiently to trace a line of delicate green. – Nathaniel Hawthorne • I will be brave, thought Despereaux. I will try to be brave like a knight in shining armour. I will be brave for the Princess Pea. – Kate DiCamillo • I will say A Pea in the Pod saved my life – at the end of my pregnancy. I even wear their tanks now to work out in because they’re really long. – Kim Kardashian • I worry about people who get born nowadays, because they get born into such tiny families–sometimes into no family at all. When you’re the only pea in the pod, your parents are likely to get you confused with the Hope Diamond. And that encourages you to talk too much. – Russell Baker • If the Earth is the size of a pea in New York, then the Sun is a beachball 50m away, Pluto is 4km away, and the next nearest star is in Tokyo. Now shrink Pluto’s orbit into a coffee cup; then our Milky Way Galaxy fills North America. – Wayne Hays • If you don’t have at least a working knowledge of the Hawaiian language… you can’t chant well. You cannot… receive the images of poetry paints for you. It’s like having peas and no pod. – Keali’i Reichel • If you gave kids peas that didn’t look like peas and said they were a space shuttle, they’re much more apt to eat them because it’s now playtime. – Hod Lipson • If you want to grow up to be a big, strong pea, you have to eat your candy,” Papa Pea would say. – Amy Krouse Rosenthal • I’m a great believer in conversational rhythm. I think in terms of rhythmic dialogue. It’s so easy, you can talk naturally. It’s like peas rolling off a knife. Take the great screen actors and actresses, Bette Davis, Eddie Robinson, Jimmy Cagney, Spencer Tracy. They all talk in rhythm. And rhythm and movement are the life of the screen. – Lorenz Hart • I’m good in the kitchen. I can cook seafood, collard greens, black-eyed peas. – Monique Coleman • I’m obsessed with broccoli, carrots, celery, string beans, snap peas, black kale, brussels sprouts, cabbage – I could go on! They used to call me ‘rabbit’ when I was a kid. I hate mushrooms, though. I apologize to fungi lovers, but this way, there’s more for you! – Lisa Edelstein • In order to get big things done, sometimes, presidents have to be deft at moving the pea around under the shells. – Charlie Pierce • In school, they would tell you that life wouldn’t come to you; you had to go out and make it your own. But when it came to love, the message for girls seemed to be this: Don’t. Don’t go after what you want. Wait. Wait to be chosen, as if only in the eye of another could one truly find value. The message was confusing and infuriating. It was a shell game with no actual pea under the rapidly moving cups. – Libba Bray • In the early years of the Uprising, we survived on one meal a day of horse meat and soup, but by the end we ate only dried peas, dogs, cats and birds. – Diane Ackerman • In the game of life, less diversity means fewer options for change. Wild or domesticated, panda or pea, adaptation is the requirement for survival. – Cary Fowler • In the range of things toddlers have to learn and endlessly review–why you can’t put bottles with certain labels in your mouth, why you have to sit on the potty, why you can’t take whatever you want in the store, why you don’t hit your friends–by the time we got to why you can’t drop your peas, well, I was dropping a few myself. – Mary Blakely • Is that clear?” said Borcht “as clear as pea soup” I said – James Patterson • It is a great delusion to suppose that flesh-meat of any kind is essential to health. Considerably more than three parts of the work in the world is done by men who never taste anything but vegetable, farinaceous food, and that of the simplest kind. There are more strength-producing properties in wholemeal flour, peas, beans, lentils, oatmeal, roots, and other vegetables of the same class, than there are beef or mutton, poultry or fish, or animal food of any description whatever. – Catherine Booth • It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn’t feel like a giant. I felt very, very small. – Neil Armstrong • It was Lisa, aged five, whose mother asked her to thank my wife for the peas we had sent them from our garden. ‘I thought the peas were awful, I wish you and Mrs. Thurber were dead, and I hate trees,’ said Lisa. – James Thurber • It’s a trifle. It’s got all of these layers. First there’s a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch, then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sauteed with peas and onions, then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top! – Rachel • Lack of world vision in any Christian produces a ‘pea-sized Christianity’. – David Bryant • Let us consider what we call vicious luxury. No gratification, however sensual, can of itself be esteemed vicious. A gratification is only vicious when it engrosses all a man’s expense, and leaves no ability for such acts of duty and generosity as are required by his situation and fortune. The same care and toil that raise a dish of peas at Christmas would give bread to a whole family during six months. – David Hume • Lives are snowflakes – unique in detail, forming patterns we have seen before, but as like one another as peas in a pod (and have you ever looked at peas in a pod? I mean, really looked at them? There’s not a chance you’d mistake one for another, after a minute’s close inspection.) – Neil Gaiman • Love is ridiculous. But love is also wonderful. And powerful. And Despereaux’s love for the Princess Pea would prove, in time, to be all of these things: powerful, wonderful, and ridiculous. – Kate DiCamillo • Mainstream people dislike homosexuality because they can’t help concentrating on what homosexual men do to one another. And when you contemplate what people do, you think of yourself doing it. And they don’t like that. That’s the famous joke: I don’t like peas, and I’m glad I don’t like them, because if I liked them I would eat them and I hate them. – Quentin Crisp • Memory overshadows the present and dims the future “into something thicker than its usual pea soup.” – Vladimir Nabokov • Mostly, I spend my time being a mother to my two children, working in my organic garden, raising masses of sweet peas, being passionately involved in conservation, recycling and solar energy. – Blythe Danner • My boy, the ‘quenelles de sole’ were splendid, but the peas were poor. You should shake the pan gently, all the time, like this. – Marie-Antoine Careme • My cat is completely blind. I am watching her now, sweet-pea that is, circling the kitchen floor and bumping into the kitchen chairs. She is kind of like a furry ball in a pinball machine…she bumps into something and then just turns and moves on…it makes me smile – although i know it’s just not that funny. I think i laugh because what i really feel like doing, is crying – Jann Arden • My family lived off the land and summer evening meals featured baked stuffed tomatoes, potato salad, corn on the cob, fresh shelled peas and homemade ice cream with strawberries from our garden. With no air conditioning in those days, the cool porch was the center of our universe after the scorching days. – David Mixner • My favorite healthy foods are Jamaican chicken soup, Jamaican chicken stew peas, Jamaican brown stew chicken, plantains and banana chips. – Sanya Richards-Ross • My musical taste is like a 16-year-old girl’s when it comes to working out – Rihanna, Black Eyed Peas, Miley Cyrus. I love it all! – Jessica Capshaw • My solo album is different from the Black Eyed Peas albums because I’m a singer first and foremost. There are more ballads and more intimacy between me and the listener because sometimes when you’re in a group you don’t have space to air out your dirty laundry. – Fergie • My teacher said my brain was the size of a pea. He made my life miserable by singling me out in the classroom as a failure. – Willard Wigan • No member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who has canned peas, topped beets, hauled hay, shoveled coal, or helped in any way to serve others ever forgets or regrets the experience of helping provide for those in need. – Thomas S. Monson • Nobody wants somebody who wants them for what they have or the position their in- you want somebody who wants you for you. In case it all goes crazy and it all turns to dust. I want somebody who loves me in the welfare line, eating gumbo, eating fish,black eyed peas and rice. I want somebody that loves me. God wants you to love him, not his cars, not his house, not his blessing- love him. – T. D. Jakes • Nothing rekindles my spirits, gives comfort to my heart and mind, more than a visit to Mississippi… and to be regaled as I often have been, with a platter of fried chicken, field peas, collard greens, fresh corn on the cob, sliced tomatoes with French dressing… and to top it all off with a wedge of freshly baked pecan pie. – Craig Claiborne • Now hoppin’-john was F. Jasmine’s very favorite food. She had always warned them to wave a plate of rice and peas before her nose when she was in her coffin, to make certain there was no mistake; for if a breath of life was left in her, she would sit up and eat, but if she smelled the hopping-john, and did not stir, then they could just nail down the coffin and be certain she was truly dead. – Carson McCullers • October, baptize me with leaves! Swaddle me in corduroy and nurse me with split pea soup. October, tuck tiny candy bars in my pockets and carve my smile into a thousand pumpkins. O autumn! O teakettle! O grace! – Rainbow Rowell • One recent menu for suspected terrorists at Guantanamo consisted of orange glazed chicken, fresh fruit crepe, steamed peas and mushrooms, and rice pilaf. Sounds like the sort of thing you’d get at Windows on the World – if it still existed. – Ann Coulter • Our full humanity is contingent on our hospitality; we can be complete only when we are giving something away; when we sit at the table and pass the peas to the person next to us we see that person in a whole new way. – Alice Waters • Pea was aware suddenly of how fragile her heart was, how much darkness was inside it, fighting, always, with the light. She did not like the rat. She would neverlike the rat, but she knew what she must do to save her own heart. – Kate DiCamillo • Peas baffled me. I could not understand why grown-ups would take things that tasted so good raw, and then put them in tins, and make them revolting. – Neil Gaiman • Peas went with carrots as infallibly as ham went with eggs. For years I thought carrots and peas grew on the same vine. – Peg Bracken • People ate bread made of the shells of peas because there was no flour. – Bel Kaufman • Poetry is a rich, full-bodied whistle, cracked ice crunching in pails, the night that numbs the leaf, the duel of two nightingales, the sweet pea that has run wild, Creation’s tears in shoulder blades. – Boris Pasternak • Reader, you may ask this queston. In fact, you must ask this question. Is it ridiculous for a very small, sickly, big-eared mouse to fall in love with a beautiful princess named Pea? The answer is… Yes. Of course it’s ridiculous. Love is ridiculous. But love is also wonderful. And powerful. – Kate DiCamillo • Rice and peas fit into that category of dishes where two ordinary foods, combined together, ignite a pleasure far beyond the capacity of either of its parts alone. Like rhubarb and strawberries, apple pie and cheese, roast pork and sage, the two tastes and textures meld together into the sort of subtle transcendental oneness that we once fantasized would be our experience when we finally found the ideal mate. – John Thorne • Runny’s Nicpic One day Runny Babbit Met little Franny Fog. He said, “Let’s have a nicpic Down by the lollow hog.” He brought some cutter bookies, Some teanuts and some pea. And what did Franny Fog bring? Her whole fog framily. – Shel Silverstein • She could not explain or quite understand that it wasn’t altogether jealousy she felt, it was rage. And not because she couldn’t shop like that or dress like that. It was because that was what girls were supposed to be like. That was what men – people, everybody – thought they should be like. Beautiful, treasured, spoiled, selfish, pea-brained. That was what a girl should be, to be fallen in love with. Then she would become a mother and she’d be all mushily devoted to her babies. Not selfish anymore, but just as pea-brained. Forever. – Alice Munro • Soft petals, yes, but not so barren quite, Mingled with these, smooth bean and wrinkled pea; And go along with you ere you lose sight Of what you came for and become like me,

Slave to a springtime passion for the earth. How love burns through the Putting in the Seed On through the watching for that early birth When, just as the soil tarnishes with weed,

The sturdy seedling with arched body comes Shouldering its way and shedding the earth crumbs. – Robert Frost • Some are trapped in boxes of pea-sized Christianity, full of myths about missions that rob them of incentive to care about the unreached – David Bryant • Some days confidence shrinks to the size of a pea, and the backbone feels like a feather. We want to be somewhere else, and don’t know where – want to be someone else and don’t know who. – Jean Hersey • Someone is dead. Even the trees know it, those poor old dancers who come on lewdly, all pea-green scarfs and spine pole. – Anne Sexton • Sometimes when you are trying not to think about something it keeps popping back in your head you can’t help it you think about it and think about it and think about it until your brain feels like a squashed pea. – Sharon Creech • STAY HOME FROM SCHOOL FAUX VOMIT: 1 cup of cooked oatmeal 1.2 cup of sour cream (or buttermilk ranch dressing or anything that smells like rancid, sour milk) 2 chopped cheese sticks (for chunkiness) 1 uncooked egg (for authentic slimy texture) 1 can of split pea soup (for putrid green color) 1/4 cup of raisins (to increase gross-osity) Mix ingredients and simmer over low heat for 2 minutes Let mixture cool to warm vomit temperature Use liberally as needed Makes 4 to 5 cups – Rachel Renée Russell • Straight up from this road Away from the fitted particles of frost Coating the hull of each chick pea, And the stiff archer bug making its way In the morning dark, toe hair by toe hair, Up the stem of the trillim, Straight up through the sky above this road right now, The galaxies of the Cygnus A cluster Are colliding with each other in a massive swarm Of interpenetrating and exploding catastrophes. I try to remember that. – Pattiann Rogers • Sweet pea?'” Alec said. “I was just trying it out.” Alec shook his head. “No.” Magnus shrugged. “I’ll keep at it. – Cassandra Clare • Tess and I are a good match. She understands intimately where I came from. She can cheer me up on my darkest days. It’s as if she came perfectly happy home instead of what Kaede just told me. I feel a relaxing warmth at the thought, realizing suddenly how much I’m anticipating meeting up with Tess again. Where she goes, I go, and vice versa. Peas in a pod. Then there’s June. Even the thought of her name makes it hard for me to breathe. I’m almost embarrassed by my reaction. Are June and I a good match? No. It’s the first word to pop into my mind. And yet, still. – Marie Lu • That admiration of the ‘neat but not gaudy,’ which is commonly reported to have influenced the devil when he painted his tail pea green. – John Ruskin • The best minds come from the most unexpected faces and places. There is no image for intelligence or genius. Genius is something that cannot be seen. It cannot be produced or manufactured. It is something that even the true genius thinks is unattainable. The genius recognizes he’s just a small pea in a sea of infinite atoms. Knowledge is as infinite as the universe. The man who claims to know all, only reveals to all that he really knows nothing. – Suzy Kassem • The Black Eyed Peas sell thousands of seats in every country on the planet. You can’t get nervous. We’re all succeeding in all different parts of our careers. Just because I produce Nas and John Legend and Justin Timberlake doesn’t mean it will change the dynamic of the Peas. – will.i.am • The Colonel led all the cheers. Cornbread!” he screamed. CHICKEN!” the crowd responded. Rice!” PEAS!” And then, all together: “WE GOT HIGHER SATs.” Hip Hip Hip Hooray!” the Colonel cried. YOU’LL BE WORKIN’ FOR US SOMEDAY! – John Green • The meal was pretentious – a kind of beetroot soup with greasy croutons; pork underdone with loud vulgar cabbage, potato croquettes, tinned peas in tiny jam-tart cases, watery gooseberry sauce; trifle made with a resinous wine, so jammy that all my teeth lit up at once. – Anthony Burgess • The only really interesting thing about someone that makes you want to explore them further is their heart, and Miss Honeycut has a teeny tiny pea-sized one and it takes you nowhere you want to go. – Polly Horvath • The Owl and the Pussycat went to sea In a beautiful pea-green boat: They took some honey, and plenty of money Wrapped up in a five-pound note. . . They dined on mince and slices of quince, Which they ate with a runcible spoon; And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand, They danced by the light of the moon, The moon, The moon, They danced by the light of the moon. – Edward Lear • The owl and the pussycat went to sea, / In a beautiful pea green boat. / They took some honey, and plenty of money, / Wrapped up in a five pound note. – Edward Lear • The peanut is neither a pea nor a nut. Discuss. – Mike Myers • The Princess and the Pea?” Gabrielle suggested. “Not enough time,” Kat said “Where’s Waldo?” Gabrielle went on. “No.” Hamish recoiled. “I am still not allowed back in Morocco. – Ally Carter • The sower may mistake and sow his peas crookedly; the peas make no mistake, but come up and show his line. – Ralph Waldo Emerson • There are few pleasures like really burrowing one’s nose into sweet peas. – Angela Thirkell • There are m]oral precepts that we consider really important, such as ‘don’t pick your nose’ or ‘don’t eat peas with a knife’. There may, for ought I know, be admirable reasons for eating peas with a knife, but . . . early persuasion has made me completely incapable of appreciating them.- Bertrand Russell • There are so many things to be tortured about, sweet pea. So many torturous things in this life. Don’t let the man who doesn’t love you be one of them. – Cheryl Strayed • There has long been a bemoaning of the lack of opportunity to make films that are anything but explosions or the ladling on the pea soup or whatever you want to call it. You can hardly make a movie today where somebody isn’t a murderer or a rapist or, if it’s a “Fried Green Tomatoes” that isn’t some wistful thing on this, that or the other thing. – Jack Nicholson • There must be a way to get more of these in me faster, thought the inventor of pea soup as he sat eating peas. – Dana Gould • This fellow pecks up wit, as pigeons peas; And utters it again when God doth please: He is wit’s pedler; and retails his wares. – William Shakespeare • Though loyal and able and brave, Pea had never displayed the slightest ability to learn from his experience, though his experience was considerable. Time and again he would walk up on the wrong side of a horse that was known to kick, and then look surprised when he got kicked. – Larry McMurtry • Thoughts come maimed and plucked of plumage from the lips, which, from the pea, in the silence of your own leisure and study, would be born with far more beauty. – Marguerite Gardiner, Countess of Blessington • Throw high risers at the chin; throw peas at the knees; throw it here when they’re lookin’ there; throw it there when they’re lookin’ here. – Satchel Paige • Tibby cried into her soup when it finally came. “I’m scared… ,” she told it. The carrots and peas made no reply, but she felt better for having told them. – Ann Brashares • Today, most women are surrounded by ingenious gadgets. They don’t grow the peas or raise the chicken that they serve for dinner; instead they hunt and gather in the grocery store. They go through catalogs or department stores to buy clothes instead of shearing sheep, carding wool, and weaving cloth for skirts and coats and blankets. – Helen Fisher • We all know what feminists are. They are shrill, overly aggressive, man-hating, ball-busting, selfish, hairy, extremist, deliberately unattractive women with absolutely no sense of humor who see sexism at every turn. They make men’s testicles shrivel up to the size of peas, they detest the family and think all children should be deported or drowned. – Susan J. Douglas • We have fried catfish, country fried steak and cinnamon-roasted pork. We have collard greens, black-eyed peas, hush puppies, biscuits, sweet potato pie and lots of gravy. Most players love it, but we also have a baked catfish for players who are still looking to stay on the approved diet. – Mark Farner • What you discover about life’s shell game is that it’s hardest to follow the pea when you’re the pea. – Robert Breault • Whatever cleaning goes on on the planet, women do 99% of it. But see, women are not as proud of their 99% as men are of our one! We clean something up, we’re gonna talk about it all year long. It might be on the news, you don’t know. A woman could be out re-paving the driveway. Men actually have enough gall to run out on the porch and go “Hey baby? Man, it’s hot as hell out here, ain’t it! Look, don’t worry about emptyin’ that ashtray in the den, I done got it, all right? Did it for you, sweet pea. I’m gonna go take a nap now, all right?” – Jeff Foxworthy • When Pococke inquired of Grotius, where the proof was of that story of the pigeon, trained to pick peas from Mahomet’s (Muhammad’s) ear, and pass for an angel dictating to him? Grotius answered that there was no proof! – Thomas Carlyle • When you look at the Lady Gagas of the world, or the Jay-Zs, or the Black Eyed Peas, these are people who have one album release and it’s a worldwide one. – Tinie Tempah • When you think of the “Exorcist” (1973) you think of Linda Blair and pea soup and all this madness, but really if you look at the first half of that film, the stuff between her and Ellen Burstyn is so naturalistic and so real. – Matt Reeves • When you’re the only pea in the pod, your parents are likely to get you confused with the Hope diamond. – Russell Baker • Who watches golf on TV? Who calls eight friends over and gets a keg of beer? Landscapers, I guess. They sit around the TV, yelling, “Will you look at that golf path?Pure pea gravel.” – Jeff Cesario • William Tell could take an apple off your head, [Phil] Taylor could take out a processed pea. – Sid Waddell • You know, when I eat three peas, I’m pregnant. When I visit a city, I’m buying a house. – Vanessa Paradis • Young people want to look like peas in a pod, and there is no use trying to make them different. – Ilka Chase

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