#I really hate the interpretation of wwx where he is emotionally unaware and oblivious

[trans-xianxian]

hello ben been following u for a while love the content great stuff. rewatching cql and wanted to know ur opinion on whether or not u think wwx knew he was in love with lwj b4 his death, after his resurrection, or post-canon? and talking like, IN LOVE. crush he probably knew like idk. during or after the schooling portion as teenagers ?

idk what the book says but cql specifically i think he knew pretty early on. there are a lot of fics about him JUST figuring out his feelings post-canon surprisingly so i wanted to ask u abt it lol

u've probably already said in the past but i either forgot or didnt see when uve all discussed it. thank u much love hope the hair comes out cool as shit

here's my timeline for how I think wei wuxian felt about lan wangji throughout the series/how aware and comfortable he was w those feelings:

I think that wei wuxian knew almost immediately that he was at the very least Attracted to lan wangji. he makes that stupid gay face the first time he sees him. throughout the cloud recesses arc it's pretty clear that wei wuxian has himself a little crush, and I think he definitely knows it. I've seen a lot of interpretations saying that wei wuxian had a crush but wasn't aware of his own feelings, but all of his clumsy attempts at flirting w lan wangji and trying to get his attention make it obvious to me that he knows very well how he feels and is not uncomfortable or in denial of those feelings

I don't think that wei wuxian was necessarily In Love with lan wangji by the time he's thrown into the burial mounds, but I think he's moved on from silly teenage crush to something more. the thing that makes him finally sit up and keep going in the burial mounds is him imaging lan wangji saying his name for fucks sake

during/around the sunshot campaign I think he is somewhere between Very Strong Romantic Feelings and In Love, and the fact that they spend half of that time at odds w each other only complicates his emotions and how much he is able to accept his own feelings. he obviously feels very strongly for lan wangji in a romantic way and is pushing and prodding to see if lan wangji feels the same but a lot is happening and he has just experienced intense emotional and physical trauma, Every emotion he's feeling is intense and complicated and repressed

as for post sunshot campaign pre yiling laozu era wei wuxian... I think this is where his feelings for lan wangji become more complicated. wei wuxian is pushing Everybody away post burial mounds and trying to separate himself from all of his attachments. he went through unspeakable trauma and now the war is over, he is left with a lot of time and space to fester in his trauma in a way he wasn't during the sunshot campaign. wei wuxian is conflicted about All of his relationships, including his relationship with lan wangji. I think he's struggling with being close to and vulnerable with anybody, and accepting new, intense, and, honestly, dangerous emotions for lan wangji is difficult for him. at this point he is very much shutting down emotionally and he very well may be In Love by then but I certainly don't think he's processing it fully. I think their conversation on phoenix mountain speaks to both wei wuxians uncertainty about their relationship and the intensity of his feelings for lan wangji

now. by the time "at least I could be killed by you, that would be worth it" happens, I Do think that wei wuxian is in love if only because that's the most batshit insane romantic thing I've ever heard in my life no other evidence needed. I think by then he's started to process his emotions more but also there's like. a lot going on right now. I don't think it's high on his list of priorities

By The Burial Mounds Arc, I 100% believe that wei wuxian not only knows that he is in love with lan wangji, but is fully aware of the fact that lan wangji is in love with him. for me, part of their tragedy is that by the end they both Knew, but they had simply run out of time. what is the point of saying it now, at the end? what good is that? maybe if they do not say it outloud the fact that they cannot act on their feelings for each other will hurt less

but part of the joy of their relationship post res Is the tragedy that came before it. they thought they had run out of time but they didn't! wei wuxian gets a second chance! they have been given more time!!