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#I really like phantom thieves and I've been watching a lot of Lupinranger okay?
soleminisanction · 5 years
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BatCat/Batfam Phantom Thieves AU
- It starts with Bruce, of course, his parents gunned down in front of him as a child. But in this world it's no random mugging, it's a professional hit by conspirators within Wayne Enterprises. Before the couple is even cold in the ground, those conspirators have forced the young heir out of not only his company, but his inheritance and ancestral home.
- Bruce and Alfred are by no means destitute, but they are forced to live within their means in a humble townhouse until Bruce's trust fund matures. He vows to remember everyone who stole his family and their legacy, and see them pay for their crimes.
- As a teen, he meets Selina, a lovely but lonely classmate who feeds the stray cats along Bruce's morning jog route. After a few chance meetings, he starts seeking her out at school, then at a party, after which he learns that she's been avoiding going home for a few days for fear of her abusive father. Bruce insists she come home with him instead of sleeping on the streets.
- He and Alfred set her up in a guest bedroom, and late that night Bruce sneaks in to join her with food and flashlights. They spend hours softly talking of their dreams: his determination to steal back his birthright, and her desire to live in comfort and safety. They read together from Alfred's collection, revelling especially in the adventures of Arsene Lupin and Robin Hood.
- The next morning, Selina's father comes looking for her. Alfred responds by pulling out his shotgun, running the bastard off, and calling the police.
- Selina is to be moved to a foster home, somewhere her father won't find her even if he makes bail. The night before she leaves, she breaks into Bruce's room to kiss him and leave him with a calling card, promising that they'll meet again one day.
- When Bruce's trust fund matures, he dumps a fair chunk of it into his years of world travel, learning from magicians, fighters, security experts, and famous thieves in turn. He returns to Gotham after five years with plan, costume and code-name already in hand.
- Soon, the elite of Gotham find themselves terrorized by a dashing phantom who signs his calling cards with the symbol of a bat and promises to expose their evil deeds. And he does so, sneaking in to homes and towers under the cover of darkness to steal secrets and valuables, with a particular interest in those treasures that once belonged to the Waynes, though of course he varies things up so that his identity is less suspect.
- For the first year or so of his career, The Batman pursues only his own vengeance. But that comes to an end with the death of the Flying Graysons.
- Seeing himself in the young boy who lost his parents to another's greed, Bruce steps in to adopt Dick, using the money from his various heists to move things along. They bond over a shared love of adventure stories and so, when Dick discovers his secret (there is much less room to hide things in a penthouse suite) he chooses to model his partner-in-crime persona after Robin Hood.
- And that "steal from the rich, give to the poor" mantra does affect how Batman operates from then on. Sure, they rob Boss Zucco blind and deliver evidence of his illegal schemes to the police, but they also begin targeting other gangsters too, as well as corrupt businessmen who take advantage of their employees and the heads of organized crime.
- Jim Gordon in this world is a good man, sworn to capture the Phantom Thieves who so recklessly disregard the law, and is thus deeply conflicted by accepting their help to take out other criminals. But he will do so begrudgingly, even if he can never truly admit where some of the information comes from.
- Shortly after Zucco's arrest, a new thief -- one less dramatic and not looking to spread any messages to the elite -- slinks into town. The only attention she seems interested in getting is the Bat's, as she makes a point of snatching several prizes out from under his nose and leaving only a calling card of her own behind, signed with a cat and sealed with a kiss.
- Of course it's Selina, now calling herself Catwoman and living in the luxary she always dreamed. She approaches Bruce first at a high-class party, unabashedly flirting while Dick makes faces behind their backs. Then they meet on a rooftop and, after a bit of cat-and-mouse persuasion where he negotiates the return of some Wayne treaures, they decide to team up.
- Soon, Selina moves in to the suite. It's almost domestic.
- ("I never wanted this," she thinks one night as she watches Bruce tuck a sleeping Dick into bed. "Never wanted children or a family. Never wanted to risk doing to them what the bastard did to me. But this, this place. This moment, this family. This, I could get used to.")
- Babs is a sympathetic Phantom Thief supporter who, rather than taking up a Batgirl role, acts as more of Spoiler -- interfering with her dad's investigations and getting in the way just enough that the thieves can go free. Dick takes notice and strikes up a friendship with her that gradually turns to flirtation, maybe even love.
- It's Selina who finds Jason stealing to survive on the streets. Feeling a kinship with him, she brings him home and declares that she's taking on an apprentice too. Literally no one is fooled.
- Tim is as keen an amateur detective in this world as he ever was, but even though the police are offering a huge reward for Batman's identity, he tells no one. Instead, he approaches Jason at school, asks to meet Batman, gets blown off and follows him home anyway, earnestly approaching Bruce and Selina with his request to be trained as a thief.
- See, he's recently learned that his world-hopping archaeologist parents are complicit in a a lot of illegal artifact training, since it brings them a lot of personal prestige. So he wants to restore some honor to his family name by returning those objects to their proper owners.
- Bruce is impressed by the kid's skill and Selina sees a child being neglected. So, surprise, now Jay (code-named Stray) has a training buddy (code-named Wren), and the Phantoms are robbing museums now too, which only helps to hide their various motivations and crimes. The Drakes eventually wind up in a white-collar prison, freeing Tim up to be adopted for real, but not before…
- Bruce stumbles upon Cassandra while scoping out David Cain as a possible criminal contact. Thus, she becomes the Bat's next "treasure," snatched from under his nose in a harried caper that only gets more drastic because Selina threatens to scratch out Cain's eyes. Cass becomes the heir apparent to Catwoman's name (code-named “Kitten” for the time being) and shares a room with Tim when they move him in too.
- (Side note, please imagine how adorable little thief sibs Cass and Tim would be going on heists together without mom and dad along. Double-teaming young marks with shameless flirting at parties and befriending the lonely children of rich assholes by turning up at their windows night after night like a pair of masked Peter Pans. Gah, I love it.)
- Steph serves a role similar to Barbara, only she Spoils the plots of the organized crime and large street gangs to catch the meddlesome thieves who like to screw them over -- they're particular targets of Jay and Dick. She and Babs meet at some point and get on like a house on fire, acting as support for the Family Thieves on the civilian end. Duke, Harper, etc. do something similar on a more case-by-case basis.
- I’m honestly not sure how Damian would fit in, though I can say for sure that Ra’s wouldn’t be calling Bruce “Detective” in this world. “Phantom” maybe. Perhaps his skill catches Talia’s eye when he tries to steal some powerful magical artifact from the League early on, before he re-unites with Selina. Or maybe Damian is Selina and Bruce’s (first) kid, a super young child compared to his adopted siblings. Still toying with ideas. 
- Either way, they’re an elegant family of phantom thieves who travel the world whenever they need to take the heat off but always, eventually, return to the Gotham City beloved by the Waynes, prepared to expose the corruption in the shadows and set right what the law put wrong. 
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