#I regret to inform you guys I have now watched this video at least 100 times. it's the best thing

[waitimcomingtoo]

Would You Rather?

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Synopsis: Tom mentions his crush on you during an interview and you respond

Authors note: this was requested by anon who gave a generous donation to the BLM fund. Thank you!

Masterlist

“Would you rather fight a horse sized duck or a duck sized horse?” Tom read off a card as he adjusted the collar on his blue jumpsuit.

“I don’t know what situation I’d be in where I’d have to fight either of these animals.” He started as he looked at the camera. “I feel like I’d rather fight duck sized horse because that’s pretty small. I could probably defeat that. But a horse sized duck could bite me, you know?”

The crew nodded in agreement and Tom moved on to the next question.

“Would you rather lose the ability to read or the ability to speak?” Tom scratched behind his head as he thought about it.

“I barely have the ability to read as it is.” He laughed. “I’m an actor, so I feel like I need the ability to speak.”

He dropped that card on the couch and picked up the next one.

“Would you rather have Captain Marvel or Black Cat as your girlfriend?” He smiled as he read.

“I don’t know if they mean as my girlfriend or as Spider-Man’s girlfriend but I without a doubt would pick Black Cat.” Tom said confidently. “I was so upset when they cast Y/n L/n as the Black Cat and didn’t connect her movie to the Spider-Man universe.”

“Why were you upset?” A crew member asked.

“Because I’m in love with Y/n.” Tom laughed like it was obvious. “I must’ve seen every movie of hers 100 times. Especially the Black Cat suit because she looked so freaking hot in that.”

“She really did.” A female lighting director nodded in agreement.

“Right? If Black Cat was Spider-Man’s girlfriend and Y/n was my girlfriend I’d be a very happy man.” Tom sighed dreamily and toyed with the card as he day dreamed about you.

That video went up a few days later and made the usual headlines. You were well aware of Tom as an actor but completely unaware of his crush on you. Your heart stopped that first time you saw the headline:

“Watch Tom Holland gush over his celebrity crush, Y/n L/n.”

And yes, you did watch.

You watched many times in fact. The part where he said he was in love with you was your personal favorite. After getting sent the video by all your friends and fans, you decided to do something about it.

“@tomholland1996 you look pretty hot in your suit as well. And out of the suit. And in regular clothes. Damn dude, you’re pretty hot.”

You posted the tweet with a devious smile and shut your phone off. Whatever the world had to say about it, they could wait until the next morning.

~

You were woken up early the next morning by your phone ringing. You wiped the sleep from your eyes but kept them shut as you held your phone to your ear.

“Hello?” You said groggily.

“Y/n? It’s your manager. I have some exciting news.” Your manager sounded giddy on the other side of the line.

“So exciting that you had to wake me up?” You laughed sleepily.

“I don’t know.” She humored you. “Do you think the Russo Brothers emailing me and asking you to come to set is exciting?”

You sat up quickly as your eyes flew open.

“What?” You shrieked in excitement.

“They said they’ve been rewriting the script for Infinity War for the past few weeks and it’s finally finished. They added a scene with the Black Cat.” She said in a sing song voice. Your breath hitched in your throat as the news flooded into your ears.

“You’re kidding.” You gasped.

“Nope. Can you drive down to set at 1? I sent you the address.” She told you.

“I’ll be there.” You nodded as a wide smile spread across your face. Your manager hung up and you threw down your phone.

“AHHHH.” You screamed in excitement and immediately got dressed. It was finally happening.

You were finally going to be in the MCU.

~

You arrived at the address promptly before 1 and were led to set by an assistant. The Russo Brothers met you by the trailers and introduced themselves.

“Great to meet you.” Joe shook your hand, then Anthony. “How much did your manager tell you?”

“Just that you added a scene with the Black Cat.” You nodded as you relayed all the information you had.

“Right. We decided to add the Black Cat to the MCU now that her character has been established in your solo movie.” Anthony explained. “We had to keep it a secret until now to keep it from getting leaked. We have big plans for your character, starting with this movie.”

You smiled gratefully at the two of them and nodded enthusiastically.

“Thank you so much for the opportunity. I’m so honored to be here. What are the plans?” You asked as you twisted your fingers nervously.

“For starters, meet your new boyfriend.” Joe chuckled and turned around and pointed.

“Boyfriend?” You asked and followed his finger.

“Tom, get over here.” He called. Your eyes widened when you realized what name he called and you looked up to see Tom jogging over to you.

“What’s up guys?” He looked at the Russo bothers before his eyes landed on you. His smile faded and he blinked a few times to register the sight in front of him.

“Hi.” His face flushed and he smiled shyly at you.

“Hi.” You smiled back, still not believing what was happening.

“I’m- I’m Tom.” He fumbled over his words as he held out his hand.

“I know.” You laughed softly as you shook his hand.

“Right, sorry.” He shook his head in embarrassment. “Whats uh, what’s she doing here?”

“Change of plans.” Anthony smirked as he handed you and Tom a few pages of the script.

“You’re giving me a script?” Tom asked in disbelief as he ran his fingers over the crisp white pages.

“Yes. Don’t make us regret it.” Joe said sternly.

“Yes sir.” Tom nodded eagerly and began to flip through it.

“Peter is going to get thrown by one of Thanos’s men and Black Cat is going to catch him.” Anthony began to explain. “She saw the spaceship, came to help, and winds up in space with Tony, Steven, and Peter.”

“That’s awesome.” Tom breathed. “This looks really cool.”

You were so wrapped up in the excitement of holding a real Marvel script that you had forgotten the brothers original statement.

“Hold on. You said he was my boyfriend.” You looked at Joe and Anthony skeptically.

“Boyfriend?” Tom perked up from his script and looked between the three of you. “Me boyfriend? To her? Please say yes. I’m fine either way it’s just, I would really like you to say yes right now.

“Yes Tom.” Joe laughed. “Right as they’re falling in love, poof.”

“Dust.” Anthony finished. You and Tom shared a look, evidently impressed.

“That’s brutal.” You remarked.

“It is.” Joe agreed. “Until they’re reunited in Endgame in a similar fashion to the way they met.”

“And the crowd goes wild.” Anthony said slowly. You got chills just thinking about it and smiled as you rubbed your arms.

“I like it.” You nodded and Tom bit back a smile.

“Me too.” He said softly. “I like it a lot.”

“Great.” Anthony rubbed his hands together. “Rehearsal starts tomorrow.”

The brothers walked away, leaving you and Tom alone with each other.

“They don’t play around over here. I just got cast and already I’m on set.” You chuckled and shyly looked at Tom. He was so much cuter in person, the camera didn’t do justice to his freckles. Tom nodded and gave you a half smile.

“Yeah, they’re pretty unorthodox over here. I’d tell you you’d get used to it, but I’d be lying.” Tom shook his head and gave you a once over. “I can’t believe you’re here.”

“I can’t believe you told the world I looked hot in my catsuit but never dmed me to ask for my number.” You shrugged easily and Toms jaw dropped at your boldness.

“In my defense, you are way too cool to be interested in me. At least I knew my place.” He shot back and you laughed.

“Didn’t you see my tweet last night?” You asked coyly as you raised an eyebrow.

“What tweet? The one about you calling me hot? The one that I sent to every single contact in my phone, including my dentist?” He asked with furrowed eyebrows. “No, I don’t think I saw it.”

“Funny.” You folded your arms and gave him a sultry smile. “I never checked if you responded.”

“I’d rather if you didn’t. It wasn’t very smooth.” He admitted.

“Hey, Tom?”

“Yes?” He looked at you.

“Would you rather continue talking in the middle of a crowded set or go somewhere secluded to run our lines?” You made a callback to his interview that started it all and he noticed.

“Run lines please. I need to quit while I’m ahead.” He eyed you with uncertainty as he thought about his words. “I was ahead, right?”

“Yeah.” You smirked and linked your arm through his. “You were ahead.”

~

“Kid, what are you doing here?” Tony asked as he craned his neck to see Peter.

“On a field trip to MOMAAAAAA.” Peter yelled as he was flung into the sky. He flew through the air like a rag doll until he landed in your arms. You breathed heavily, you in your masks and suits.

“Hey there.” You smirked at Peter as you held him bridal style.

“Hi, I’m Peter. You’re really pretty.” He said through heavy pants. “Can you pretend I didn’t just say that?”

“Hi Peter.” Your wine colored lips tugged into a smile. “Should you really be telling me your name? I could be dangerous.” You pouted as you set him down.

“Oh, right.” Peter got back on his feet and brushed off his suit. “In that case, I’m not Peter. I’m…Pedro.”

“Mm, Pedro. I like it.” You winked and saw one of Thanos’s minions coming at him from behind. “Watch out.”

You spun around and kicked the minion in the face before hooking your legs around his neck and knocking him to the ground. One swift punch to the throat knocked him unconscious. You stood up and waltzed back over to Peter as you dusted off your hands.

“Woah, where’d you learn to do that?” The eyes of Peters mask widened as you impressed him with your skills.

“A woman’s got to protect herself, right?” You shrugged and popped gum in your mouth before eyeing him up and down. “And apparently, I have to protect you too.”

“I’m totally fine with that.” Peter answered honestly. “Do you have a name?”

You wrapped your arms around Peters neck and blew a bubble with your gum.

“Black Cat.” You said once it popped. The sent of bubble gum filled Peters nostrils and his knees weakened.

“That explains the catsuit.” He gulped. “What, no tail?”

“Tails are so cliche.” You whined and stroked his covered cheek with your hand. “I’m a cat burglar, not a halloween costume.”

“If this is how you go out on a normal day, I’d love to see what you wear in Halloween.” Peter attempted time flirt back with the mysterious woman distracting him from his mission. You leaned forward, close enough that your lips were almost touching.

“I bet you would.” You whispered. You patted his cheek and turned away swiftly, whipping his face with your long gray ponytail. Peter let out a throaty groan as the scent of your perfume enveloped him. You walked around him in a circle, dragging your fingernail along his shoulders as you went.

“Since you know my name is Peter, it’s only fair you tell me yours.” He said as he turned his head to look at you. You paused, standing directly behind him.

“You really wanna know my name?” You challenged.

“That’s what I just said.” Peter sassed you. You smirked and took a step towards Peter so you were pressed against his back, gripping his waist tightly.

“Hardy.” You said right in his ear and he shivered. “Felicia Hardy. I’ve seen you around, Spiderman. You’re pretty good.”

You finished your circle and stood in front of him now. He was grateful for his mask, otherwise you could see just how red he had gone. His heart was racing out of his chest just from the look of you. The white fur cuffs and skintight black suit were making it impossible for him to focus.

“Just pretty good?” He questioned. “I’ve taken down a lot of bad guys.”

“Mm, but never me.” You taunted as you twirled your gray hair around your finger, wanting to get a rise out of you.

“You’re a bad guy?”

“Depends on your definition of bad guy.” You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth and let your teeth drag. “Do you think I’m bad?”

“Depends on your definition of bad.” Peter straightened up.

“This has been fun.” You smirked and tossed your ponytail over your shoulder. Nice talking to you, Peter.”

“You too.” Peter smiled under his mask until a Boulder was flung your way. “Look out!”

Peter shot a web at you and pulled you flushed against his chest. He pulled you to the ground and rolled on top of you as the boulder went over your heads. It was your turn to be blushing as you stared at Peter in amazement.

“How did you-“

“Spidey senses.” He answered before you could finish your question. He could feel his body beginning to lift into the air with you following. “Oh no.”

“What’s happening?” You asked as you and Peter lifted into the air. You clutched him tightly to keep from falling and Peter held on to you for support.

“Mr Stark!” He yelled. “I’m being beamed up!”

“And cut!” Anthony yelled. The wires holding you and Tom up slowly lowered you back down until you were back on the ground. Tom rolled off of you and fell on his back, breathing heavily from the scene. He pulled his mask off and rested it on his tummy.

“Whew.” He panted and looked at you with a tired smile. “Great work.”

You smiled back at Tom, still flushing from the flirty scene. You had done that scene many times from rehearsal all the way to production, but never that well. Your heart usually stopped racing by now, but something about the way he was looking at you kept it in rhythm.

“You too.” You complimented him as you sat up. You helped each other up and pulled each other into a sweaty hug.

“That’s a wrap guys. Great work today.” Joe announced. “Before you leave, I have the official version of the script. This is what we’re going to be filming tomorrow. We couldn’t give it to you until now in case someone spoiled it.”

Joe glared at Tom as he handed out the final scripts.

“I hate it here.” Tom mumbled as his ability to keep secrets was once again under fire.

“Great, thank you.” You smiled at Joe before he walked away. Tom came over to you, hitting his rolled up script against his hand.

“Do you want to go over our lines for tomorrow?” Tom asked.

“Sure. I’ll meet you there after I drop off my costume.” You told him.

Twenty minutes later, your wig and costume were returned to the costume department. You wiped off your makeup and changed into comfortable clothes before heading to Tom’s. You let out a shaky breath as you walked towards his trailer. You’d been in there a hundred times since production began a few months ago, but today felt different. There was something in the air between you and Tom that neither of you could ignore. You knocked on his door and heard your heartbeat in your ears as you waited for him to open. Tom gave you a shy smile as he opened the door of his trailer door for you and stepped aside.

“Sorry, it’s a little messy.” He apologized as he shut the door behind him. You looked around at Toms trailer, noting the clothes hanging off the ceiling fan and the pictures of the two of you taped to his mirror. You walked over to the mirror and touched the picture with a light smile. It was a strip of picture taken in a photo booth a few weeks into production. The photos went from you and Tom smiling, to laughing, to you kissing his cheek, to him kissing your cheek as you laughed. You had spent your only day off together, hanging out a a fair until the sun was coming up. After getting stuck at the top of the Ferris wheel for 15 minutes and clinging to Tom every time it shook, you ran to the photo booth to immortalize the night. You had the exact same strip of photos on your dresser at home, but you never noticed that he displayed them so proudly.

“It’s very you in here.” You looked at him over your shoulder and shot him a smile.

“Thanks?” He bit his lip in confusion.

“Don’t worry. It was a compliment.” You said pointedly and walked back towards him. “Should we look at the script?” You suggested and he nodded.

“Yeah. Here, take a seat.” He sat on his bed and patted the spot next to you. You sat next to him and folded your legs, beginning to flip through the script.

“This looks the same as the last script.” You realized when you recognized the words. Tom flipped through his script and came to a halt when he read something unexpected.

“It’s not.” He said with a dry mouth.

“What’s different?” You looked up at him in confusion.

“There’s a kiss.” He looked you to and saw your face go pale.

“A kiss?” You stammered and went back to your script to find what he was talking about.

“Right here.” Peter held out his script and pointed to the part. “Felicia kisses Peter before she turns to dust.” He read.

“So this is what they didn’t want you spoiling.” You laughed nervously as you read the stage direction over and over.

“They might’ve made a good call on that one.” Tom chuckled softly. “I’m really tempted right now to post a picture of the script on twitter just to rub it in everyone’s face.”

You looked up from the script and gave him a fond smile.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” You said softly.

“I’m sorry.” He apologized. “It’s not everyday you get cast opposite your celebrity crush.”

“How do you think I felt when I got cast as your girlfriend?” You pulled your knees to your chest and rested your chin on top.

“You...liked me?” Tom asked quietly. He didn’t let himself believe it, not wanting to get his hopes up.

“For a long time now.” You admitted. Production was about to end anyway. If he didn’t feel the same, there was nothing you could do about it, but at least he knew.

Tom blinked a few times as he registered what you said and smiled widely.

“I’m really glad I got to know you these past few months. You’re a lot cooler in person.” Tom said sincerely. “Honestly, I have no idea how I’m supposed to act beside you tomorrow knowing I have to kiss you.”

“Tom.” You said breathlessly at his words.

“I’m already a nervous wreck. My mind is in sicko mode right now. I can’t even read.” He put his script down and sighed.

“I think I might be able to calm you down.”

“How?” He wondered. He looked up at you for answers, but was met with a kiss. You tilted your head to the side and pressed your lips against his feeling his eyelashes brush your cheek as his eyes fluttered shut. Tom brought his hand to the side of your face for support and gently rubbed his thumb against your cheek. You smiled against his lips and sat up a little to get a better angle and kissed him deeply. You pulled away to catch your breath and rested your forehead against his. The only sound in the trailer was from your heavy breathing.

“You’re really smart.” He said quietly. “I feel significantly calmer.”

“I’m happy to hear that.” You chuckled softly. Tom pulled away and took on of your hands in his, rubbing gentle circles on the back of it.

“I have a question for you.” He said.

“Go for it.” You bit your bottom lip as you both spoke in hushed tones.

“Would you rather,” he began with a coy smile, “kiss me again or go on a date with me?”

“I can’t have both?” You pouted and a wicked flame ignited in Toms eyes. He hooked his pinky under your chin and moved your face towards his, leaning close enough that his lips brushed yours when he spoke.

“I think I can make an exception.” He whispered before kissing you again.

Tag List 🏷

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[travllingbunny]

The 100 rewatch: 5x03 Sleeping Giants

Continuing my joint rewatch of season 5 with @jeanie205. After two great episodes where we caught up with our main characters and saw (or did not see, in the case of Spacekru) their experiences during the 6-year time jump, Sleeping Giants is another excellent episode, this time fully about the present day action with the Eligius prisoners moving into Eden, their conflict with and capture and torture of Clarke, and most of all about the Spacekru trying to find a way to deal with the Eligius crew, get to the ground and save their people.

It’s also a great Bellamy episode, just as 5x01 was a great Clarke-centric episode and 5x02 a great Octavia episode. Raven also gets still getting pretty good character moments here (and has maybe more lines than in any other episode, but to be fair, most of it is exposition).

What particularly struck me - especially after quite a few slower episodes in season 7 - is just how fast, intense and full of both action and loads of new information (about Eligius 4 and Diyoza, but also a lot of setup for season 6, and even for the possible prequel). There are also lots and lots of parallels and contrasts to season 1, and callbacks to previous seasons in general; morality debates, fights, and one very epic (and romantic-looking) reunion of the show’s two main characters in the closing scene.

Timeline:  2 days have passed since the present day events of 5x01 - it is 2201 days since Praimfaya.

This episode is full of action and new information - if you don’t pay attention to every second, you may miss some of it:

First mention of Eligius 3: their mission may have been top secret. but the crew of Eligius 4 obviously knew that the corporation was sending Nightbloods and that one of the planet was a binary star system (Shaw males a comment "Two suns, no sunscreen”).

Eligius 4 was a mining ship; one of its engines got busted in the rebellion of the prisoners, which is why the ship needed a hundred years to get back to Earth (as opposed to Eligius 3 - which we later see took just a few years to reach Sanctum from Earth)

Possible prequel info: Raven mentions great-great grandpappy Blake who was an astronaut with multiple PhDs (but it’s unclear if he was an ancestor of both Bellamy and Octavia, in which case he has to be Aurora’s ancestor).

We start getting some of Diyoza backstory here (there’s more in the following episodes), when she mentions to Clarke that she fought when the “fascist government” tried to take her home. (This could’ve been seen as just Diyoza’s bias, but now that we have an idea - from 7x08 - what USA - under a President Wallace - was like just before the apocalypse, her description seems fitting. Callie also considered the government fascist.)

Instead of more exposition, the show follows the Show, Don’t Tell rule and gives the backstory about the rebellion in a more exciting way, by having Spacekru find and watch a video message that the late captain of the ship filmed  and was about to send when he was killed. But the show also still intentionally withholds some info: the captain mentions that the prisoners have learned about Order 11 but we don't find out what that was until a few episodes later - that it was an order to kill all the prisoners. This would change our perception of Diyoza and the entire situation to quite an extent, but so far, all you get from this is that the prisoners, and Diyoza in particular, are very dangerous. The captain was about to send the message that Eligius be blown out of the sky, saying that “Diyoza can't be allowed to weaponize the cargo", which first hints at her terrifying reputation. But considering he was just going to do that, I’m not sure you can’t blame Diyoza for letting McCreary kill him. (Even though Shaw just does that, reminding Diyoza that she promised she wouldn’t kill any of the crew - to which she laconically replies she didn’t promise the others wouldn’t.)

There is, however, already some moral ambiguity there because Spacekru learn that prisoners were seen as “expendable” by the people in power - and Murphy says this sounds familiar, pointing out a parallel between the Eligius prisoners and the Delinquents. In general, season 5 plays a lot with the (imperfect) parallels (and contrasts) between season 5 and season 1. Some of the not-so-subtle callbacks include Diyoza saying “We’re not alone” in 5x01, Clarke making notes and drawings of the weaponry that the newcomers have, which is kind of a "parallel" to how Lincoln made notes in his notebook (except Lincoln was mostly making notes of how many people were there, not their weapons - since they didn’t have any), Clarke being captured and refusing to give any info by staying silent, and Clarke getting tortured, like Lincoln was. And just like Octavia argued that Lincoln didn’t speak English, but Bellamy was sure he did, now Shaw tries to argue that Clarke can’t speak English but Diyoza is smart enough to know she does. (It was really obvious in both cases - someone who doesn't speak your language but wants to communicate would say something in another language and make gestures, a mute person would make gestures, but when someone is looking at you silently and with a stone face, they obviously don't WANT to talk. Octavia seems to have actually believed that Lincoln didn’t speak English, since she was later surprised that he did - but she was still naive at the time. I find it hard to believe Shaw really believed that - he was probably just trying to dissuade Diyoza from letting McCreary torture someone.)

But here’s the thing: a parallel doesn’t have to mean two things are really the same - sometimes, as in this case, it’s more like “this is kind of reminiscent of that other thing, but when you compare them, you see that they’re drastically different”, which is pretty obvious, as in one case, we had a hundred kids with no weapons (aside from one gun and one knife), just going around without a plan and trying to have a good time in a rather small area, vs thousands of organized people with at least hundreds of armed warriors in a much wider territory. In this case, we have a bunch of heavily armed (and that’s an understatement, they really have all sorts of incredibly powerful weapons) adult murderers who came in with the express plan to take over the Valley - which was the only habitable area on Earth, vs a sole woman and a child. In other words, the Eligius prisoners are exactly what the Grounders claimed in season 1 that the 100 were, but what the 100 most definitely were not - a real and massive threat.  But on the other hand, there is a reason why this parallel exists - and that’s to point out that the prisoners, no matter how scary they are, no matter how good the reasons to be afraid of them, no matter how bad they may be... are still people who were sent as forced labor, deemed expendable, and now are trying to get back home, to Earth. What else could they do - float forever in space, in cryo? 

Another callback in this episode was to season 3 - and it’s a particularly important one for Bellamy’s character arc: the dilemma of what to do with the 283 Eligius prisoners in cryo. Murphy is the voice of ruthless pragmatism and suggests that they simply pull the plug and kill them all, before Diyoza could wake them up from the ground and use them as her army. Echo, though she says she understands why this is hard for Bellamy, backs up Murphy’s suggestion, but Bellamy refuses. You can see how awful even the idea is to him, reminding him of one of the things he has been regretting and feeling guilty for years - helping Pike kill Lexa’s army while they were sleeping. There are differences in circumstance, but it is basically the same thing, kill people in their sleep pre-emptively, before they could be potentially used against you, because if they are, they would be a huge threat to your people. (Well, it is the same thing for the purposes of the show - if we believe that experienced Trikru warriors could all sleep at the same time and not wake up and start fighting - which the show really wants us to believe, though it never made any sense. The Eligius prisoners, however, are really helpless here because they are cryo frozen, so this would really be the massacre that season 3 pretended Hakeldama was.) Murphy brings up Clarke, in what is one of the weirder lines in this episode - “If Clarke was here, this wouldn’t even...” I’m not sure what exactly he was trying to say - did he mean to imply Clarke would be in favor of killing them all (which doesn’t make much sense - it’s not like Clarke was the one more in favor of violent solutions than the peaceful and diplomatic ones compared to Bellamy, in fact, it was typically the opposite in seasons 1-4, especially whenever Murphy was around to witness their actions and decisions, On the other hand, the show went on to give Murphy some weird opinions about Clarke in season 6. Or did he mean that Bellamy himself would opt for drastic measures to protect Clarke? 

It’s unclear, and it feels like this line just exists to set up Bellamy’s response and show how much the loss and memory of Clarke is still weighing heavy on Bellamy and motivating him. Bellamy has been trying to be better and redeem himself for mistakes of his past that he made when he was more inclined to react violently against enemies - and, since Praimfaya, he has been trying to honor Clarke’s memory, and be the kind of leader she wanted him to be, and the kind of leader she was. "Clarke didn't die for us to go back and make the same mistakes".  

Ironically, Clarke has in the meantime become a lot more like season 1a Bellamy: her focus has narrowed to trying to protect a single person, a child she loves and feels responsible for, and in her present situation, she’s a lot more inclined to opt for violent solutions. We’ve already seen that in 5x01 with the “There are no good guys” scene, and in 5x03 she is quite ruthless when she doesn’t want to mercy kill a prisoner stabbed by one of her and Madi’s traps, even when Madi is asking her to do it. Season 5 Clarke characterization is pretty controversial - and I’m not 100% sure how I feel about it. It was clearly meant to show Clarke changed and not like herself after 6 years isolation with just Madi as a companion - but I don’t like the way it seemed to almost reduce Clarke to the “Mama Bear” trope. On the other hand, this is not entirely new - Clarke was always kind of mother to the Delinquents, even though they were her age, and driven by the desire to protect those she loves and/or felt responsible for -  especially in season 2, we saw how far she can go when she is cornered and desperate to save her people. And she is certainly cornered here. We could argue  whether some of her decisions here - such as to start attacking the prisoners - were smart, but with Eden as the only livable place, there wasn’t much else she could do other than hide, which she and Madi couldn’t do indefinitely.

Bellamy’s. Echo’s and Raven’s fight with Kodiak - a particularly large and dangerous prisoner that Diyoza had woken up because of the alarm Spacekru had set off - is IMO one of the best in the show, very raw and brutal and desperate. It reminds me of the 2x11 fight where Bellamy also ended up strangling a man after a desperate fight, with the help of Echo and someone else who’s mostly a non-combatant - in S2 it was Maya, here it’s Raven. (For someone who isn’t a fighter  and in spite of her disability, Raven has the right moves - going straight for the eyes.) Bellamy and Echo work well as a part of the team, the leader and his right hand, but if you just saw this episode, you’d have no idea that they’re a couple. They don’t get the little everyday moments of chemistry and coupley behavior that we see here with Marper (when Raven teases “lovebirds” about Zero G sex, we immediately see that Marper is who she meant) or that we see with Memori in other seasons, whenever they are together. Here, they are on a break, and it’s so weird after seeing them in S7, watching Emori and Murphy snapping at each other with animosity - but there’s a thin line between love and hate.

Sleeping Giants is generally a great showcase for Bellamy: this is arguably him at his best as a leader, not only negotiating and saving his people while also refusing to commit mass murder, but we also see how good he is at instilling confidence in other team members - be it asking Murphy for his opinion, or building up Emori’s confidence as a pilot. The moment where they smile each other after she lands successfully is one of the best scenes in terms of the Spacekru dynamic - and in terms of genuinely platonic m/f friendships in the show (which should get more screentime).

It’s also a good episode for Raven, who insists she stays behind even though she knows there is a huge chance of dying, and lies to Bellamy that there is an escape pod for two, to stop him from insisting on staying instead, with his own self-sacrificial tendencies. In season 7, Raven felt guilty for not putting her life on the line in 7x03, but she did it here. Murphy ends up unintentionally kind of doing the same - fooled by her lie about the escape pod. Would he have stayed behind if he knew there was no escape pod? At this point in his development, probably not, but he is still showing the desire to contribute and do something heroic. He isn’t even sure himself what his motives are - was it just to impress Emori and show he’s not selfish, or if he really wants to be a hero who is ready to sacrifice and/or risk his life, the way the others do?

There are so many callbacks in this episode! Murphy even says the line "See you on the other side" and Raven tells Murphy: “You're right, dying alone would have sucked", referencing their scene in 2x01, back when they were just starting to not be enemies.

But of course, what this episode is mostly remembered by is Bellamy learning that Clarke is alive, and their first meeting in 6 years, in the epic last scene. The show made Bellamy and the rest of the Spacekru a bit incompetent for a moment when they get themselves captured by two prisoners, so Madi would rescue them and deliver the news that Clarke is alive. Clarke has obviously told Madi stories about Bellamy and described him, since Madi immediately recognizes him. We get Bellamy’s Harper and Monty’s reactions (as they are the Delinquents and much closer to Clarke than Echo and Emori). So Madi rescues Bellamy and then Bellamy rescues Clarke, and it feels like a lot of the plot was written in order to set up that last scene.  (Incidentally, Bellamy and Clarke are paralleled with the way they both say the same line: “No, Madi”.)

Let’s be honest here - there was no plot reason whatsoever to put this kind of emphasis on Bellamy rescuing Clarke in this scene, other than to emphasize the importance of Bellamy’s and Clarke’s relationship. He was already planning to use the prisoners in cryo as leverage to rescue Octavia and the rest of the people in the bunker - which he will also do. He could have rescued Clarke in a brief scene and then continued negotiating with Diyoza. In plot terms, this is not a cliffhanger or last scene material. But in relationship terms? That’s another story. And there was no reason to make it look so goddamn romantic - other than to portray their relationship as a romantic one, regardless of their actual relationship status. 

The entire scene is filmed to look like a dream. We see Clarke looking at him, with a dreamy look in her eyes. From Clarke’s POV, it looks like Bellamy is appearing out of the darkness, bathed in light (and holding the “Best dad in the universe” cup from Eligius 4).  

 If this was just your run-of-the-mill rescue of some of our protagonists by other ones, there was also no reason for Diyoza to say the line: “283 lives for one. She must be pretty important to you.”  In fact, this line used to bug me - because I thought it didn’t make sense for her to ask that. Come on, Diyoza, you know how hostage negotiations and leverage works! You know he is making a smart play here. Release my people and I don’t kill your people - there’s nothing strange about that. But on second thoughts - I can see Diyoza bulls*itting like that in order to try to suss out what exactly Bellamy’s relationship to Clarke is, so she could potentially use it later in dealing with them. In any case, this line clearly exists to set up Bellamy’s answer: “She is”. Set o dramatic music, as the ending line of the episode.

Rating: 8.5/10

[facts-bella]

HUNGOVER [the cullens]

Note: After 2 Years, 2000 notes, here’s part two. Thank you so so much for the notes on INTOXICATED!! I hope it lives up to expectations :)

Summary: (Y/N)’s hungover, but the Cullen’s are ready to party.

Pairing: none

Characters: The Cullen's + You

Warnings: Alcohol use, The OG recipe to Bloody Marys (Blood).

-

Waking up the next morning was horrible; (Y/N) felt like she had been hit by a bus and the teasing from Emmett about things she couldn't even remember only made it worse.

"Emmett there is no way that I did that! I don't believe you." She croaked, sitting in the kitchen to eat her breakfast that Rosalie had prepared for her.

"Well, a picture doesn't lie." Emmett smirked, showing (Y/N) the photos he had of the event the night before. Her eyes widened as she realised he was telling the truth. (Y/N)’s cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

"Oh god." She groaned, hiding her face from the chuckling vampire.

“It’s fine, (Y/N). Emmett’s exaggerating, as always.” Rosalie reassured, from her position by the breakfast bar. Having warmed up to (Y/N) much faster than she did Bella, she had fixed her a breakfast fit for a goddess in Esme’s place.

(Y/N) accepted the breakfast, “Thanks Rose, this is just the hangover cure I need.”

Emmett and Rosalie shared a look (Y/N) missed as she ate, thinking about the discovery she had made last night.

“So, (Y/N),” Emmett began, catching the attention of the chewing girl. “Do you remember running into the woods last night?”

The human frowned, vague memories flashing through her mind as she recalled wandering through the woods, carrying a... Jack Daniels?

She swallowed, “Was I coaxing a dear to drink last night?”

The vampire couple before her laughed, “Yes, yes you were - do you remember why?”

Just as (Y/N) was about to answer, the doorbell rang. It’s high pitched tones seemed to pierce her eardrums and she moaned in pain, covering them. This caused the couple to laugh at the human once more.

Emmett left to answer the door, and Rosalie swiftly grabbed some painkillers from the cupboards and a glass of water.

(Y/N) thanked her, again, for taking care of her.

Emmett walked back into the room, with Edward and Bella in his stead. The two were still living separately from the other cullens, even after they’d moved out of Forks 10 years ago, and to (Y/N)’s hometown 2 years prior.

The additions exchanged pleasantries and took jabs at (Y/N)’s fragile state, but she continued to eat, only wincing when conversation got to loud for her sensitive ears.

“Are Alice and Jasper not back yet?” Bella asked, alerting (Y/N) of their absence.

“Where’d they go?”

“Well that’s just what we were trying to remind you of.” Rosalie informed her, “They’re getting bagged animal blood from a guy Jasper knows.”

“Bagged animal blood... they do that?” (Y/N) was momentarily distracted, “Wait - why do we need that?”

“You seriously don’t remember the momentous discovery you made?” Edward asked, frowning in (Y/N)’s direction.

“I was drunk! Leave me alone Eddie!” She winced at her own volume, making the others laugh.

Bella looked excited, “Well, I hope you know the recipe to Bloody Marys, cause tonight we’re gonna test your theory.”

“Tonight?” (Y/N) asked, warily.

Emmett responded by lifting (Y/N) out of her seat and leaving the room in a blur, depositing her in her room. “Yup! Rest up puny human cause tonight we’re joining the party!”

“I think I’m gonna throw up.”

———

Carlisle, Esme, and Ren were set to arrive that night. Which meant that they would walk in on a scene that included Alice and Rosalie dancing on a table, Jasper and Emmett taking turns riding a mechanical bull (which no one was sure where they’d gotten it from), Edward and Bella making out in the corner in a way no one wanted to look at, and (Y/N), watching at the sidelines... wondering what the hell she had created. But let’s go back to the beginning of the night...

————

“Alice, are you sure about this? This is 100% Ethanol, I feel like I’m doing science not making cocktails.”

(Y/N) was already regretting everything, getting dizzy from the mere fumes this stuff was giving off. This was definitely going to go wrong and there were no responsible adults around to advise Alice away from this. (Y/N) certainly wasn’t going do it.

“It’s the only way the effect will last long enough to be worth it!” Alice returned with, Practically vibrating with excitement. (Y/N) was still unsure, but smiled and poured a little more than a shots worth of Ethanol in each glass.

Mixing it with the animal blood made her gag, Jasper kindly taking the responsibility from her once she’d demonstrated the right ratio. She remembered to pour one normal cocktail for herself, after that.

She passed out the elegant glasses to each member of the Cullen family, ominous red liquid much darker than she was comfortable with, but at least it would be easy to tell whether the drink was hers or not.

Edward, having caught that thought, chuckled “Yes, I don’t think any of us will be in a state to take you to the emergency room.”

(Y/N) laughed, “Well, you’re only 17 Ed, you don’t wanna get arrested for underage drinking.”

Emmett burst into laughter, making the others smile, but Edward just rolled his eyes and didn’t even dignify (Y/N)’s point with a response.

(Y/N) picked up her own drink, the others waiting, nervous with excitement for her lead, and held it up in toast, “Cheers everyone, to vampire science!”

They all clinked their glasses together, which marked to beginning of the chaos.

————

Dignified Bloody Mary’s soon turned into shots of pure Ethanol with blood chasers. (Y/N) checked out after 2 drinks, feeling delicate from the night before still.

She was now nursing a water, watching the night unfold from the safety of the armchair in the living room. It was hours later, and the vampires were still going strong, for the first time since she’d known them, the Cullens looked like the teenagers they were pretending to be.

Dumb teenagers, but teenagers nonetheless.

It made (Y/N) smile to remember that this was most likely the first time any of them had experienced a drunk party, maybe Emmett had had a drink in his human life, but it’s not like he remembered that. She hoped they felt less isolated tonight.

Speaking of Emmett, he and Jasper seemed to be having a hard time slowing down. Every so often they would just appear in a different location of the house with a brisk breeze following behind.

Rosalie and Alice were having the opposite trouble, as they danced they moved slower and far less gracefully than (Y/N) had ever seen them.

Photos! She should be taking photos!

As fast as she humanly could, she ran to grab her camera to capture the night, if anyone noticed her momentary absence, they didn’t make it obvious as none had moved from their previous spots when they came back down.

The next morning, or when ever the effect would wear off for these guys, (Y/N) would laugh at them as they had done at her;

Blurry pictures of Jasper riding the mechanical bull, wearing a... cowboy hat? When did he get that?

Alice and Rosalie hanging off of each-other singing along to a Whitney Houston song that was playing; (Y/N) made sure to video that, “I wanna dance with somebody!”

Emmett posed for many photos, some (all) making fun of Edward and Bella (neither one came up for air though... (Y/N) was a little concerned but she supposed they didn’t need to breathe.)

And finally, photos of Carlisle, Esme, and Ren’s reactions when they walked in to see the carnage.

(Y/N) lowered the camera from her face, with a feeling of foreboding and dread brewing in her gut.

She seemed to be the only one that had noticed their presence, and for a long time she just stared, scared.

Carlisle’s face morphed from one of indifference, to concern, to shock very quickly.

Esme matched his concern, but (Y/N) spotted the anger beginning to brew the more she saw.

Ren’s jaw was dropped, but her features twisted in disgust when she spotted her parents.

Oh god.

Alice gasped loudly, and (Y/N) thought that maybe she had noticed the Patriarch’s presence too, but when she looked over she wore the glazed over look she got when she was seeing something.

“Carlisle’s and Esme on their way home!” She called, sounding worried.

(Y/N) lowered her head into her hands, leaving the camera hanging around her neck.

At least they had the pictures to remember, this would definitely be a one night only event if Esme had anything to say about it.

(Y/N) smiled, so worth the hangover.

——————————————————————

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed!

[foreverfangirlalways]

The Astronomer and The Florist (Chapter 13)

Chapter 13 Title: Michael’s Return (and ohhh, whose this?)

Summery: Patton and Roman ask Virgil and Logan something, Patton and Virgil start working on wedding planning, and some well hated people show up!

Ships: Analogical & Royality

Warning: author is not entirely sure How brunch works, mentions of strippers, teasing, MICHAEL, threats, unwanted flirting+advances, assault, weaponized tennis racket, flame thrower, cursing

-let me know if I need to add more warnings-

(Thank you to @kawaiikat54 for letting me borrow an idea or two!

And thank you to @kuroyurishion for the idea that is stared in the last few paragraphs! )

—-

It’s been two weeks since the Disney trip and proposal. Everyone loved the trip, and had so much fun, but they had to go back to work.

Roman called up both Logan and Virgil. He invited them to brunch.

After they accepted, and headed over to Roman and Patton’s house.

Logan and Virgil immediately knew something was up the moment they smelt cinnamon rolls and fries. Patton only makes cinnamon rolls when he’s nervous. And he only makes French fries to soften a blow.

Everyone sat down at the table, and grabbed their plates. After about 10 minutes of a tense, chewing filled silence, Logan spoke up.

“So, what is this about?”

“Wha- what do you mean?” Patton stuttered nervously. “Pat, you made comfort food. It’s ok, just tell us where the body is, and we’ll frame it on Roman.”

Roman made some offended princey noises at Virgil’s words. “Umm, excuse me!”

“You’re excused.” Logan replied, hiding a smirk at Romans enraged face. Patton, sensing his fiancé’s frustration, started giggling.

Soon everyone was laughing, and Roman playfully hit Logan. “And Virgil, for your information, we are not here about Patton. It’s about y’all.”

Virgil instantly stopped laughing, and looked terrified. Logan reaches over and squeezed Virgil’s hand. Patton whacked Roman.

“Common my love, you know you can’t just say things like that!”

Roman looked sheepishly at Virgil. “Sorry V, Let me rephrase, Patton and I have a question to ask y’all two.”

Patton nodded enthusiastically, and bounced over to the cabinet in the corner, and grabbed two envelopes out of the top drawer. He handed the red one to Roman, and sat back down, still holding the light blue one.

The fiancé’s smiled at eachother, then Roman handed Logan the red envelope and Patton handed Virgil the blue one.

Logan opened his and scowled at the amount of glitter that fell out of the envelope. Virgil opened his, took out the card, and started choking.

Logan looked worriedly at his shocked boyfriend. He then took his card completely out of the envelope and gasped.

It was a card that had a black bow tie on it, and said “TIME TO SUIT UP! Your service as bestman is requested.”

Logan looked up questionably, and Roman nodded. Logan smiled, looked over at Virgil’s card, and made an indescribable noise.

Virgil was staring down at a card that said “GET ME A STRIPPER”. Logan was stunned, and Virgil finally got the courage to open the card. The card unfolded, and instead of “GET ME A STRIPPER” it now said “GET out there and plan ME A bachelor party! STRIve for refined and uPPER class, fun but tame. (Will You Be My Bestman?)”

Virgil was silent for a minute before busting out laughing. He threw his arms around Patton and said, “Of course you weirdo! I would love to be your bestman, I’m honored!”

Patton smiled so very gleefully, and then Virgil continued talking. “As for the other thing, I’m sure Remy knows a place.”

Patton buried his head in his hands, and Roman wrapped Pat up in his arms. “Don’t worry dearheart, Virgil will do no such thing!”

“No, I am, the card asked me too.” Virgil said, knowing full and well that he was going to get Patton one of those singing striper bass’s and paint a blue ‘p’ on it.

Patton laughed, knowing his best friend wouldn’t do anything too drastic. Probably. Most likely. Hopefully.

Roman looked at Logan for support, and just saw a smirk. “I don’t do bow ties, but I would be honored to be your bestman.” Roman hugged Logan, and Patton hugged Virgil. Then they all merged together into one big group hug, mainly because Patton dragged Virgil over yelling “group hug!”

After everyone sat back down, Patton started talking. “We would also like y’all to help with the wedding planning!”

Upon the silence that followed, Roman started speaking. “You obviously don’t have to if you don’t want to, but we just thought that it would be fun and exciting to have y’all be the co-wedding planners.”

Logan nodded. “I think that is a reasonable conclusion. Plus, it would be smart to include us, as we can make sure that you don’t burn your entire lifesavings or be too... what’s the word?” Logan said, looking at Virgil.

“Extra.” Virgil said smiling. “And Yeah, I would love to help with the wedding. Lo is great at expenses and Ro is great at shopping, so power couples right there.” Everyone laughed, and then Roman grew serious. “Speaking of shopping, I was thinking about... going dress shopping.” Roman looked up at his friends faces. “For a wedding dress. For me.”

“Cool, are you gonna wear heels or flats?” Virgil asked. “Uhh, wedges?” Roman said and Virgil nodded. “Good idea, both.”

Logan was studying Roman, and kind of freaking him out. “I always saw you in a full skirt, but I think a ball gown type would fit you over all aesthetic better.” Romans’ mouth dropped open. Then he started crying.

Patton immediately pulled Roman into his arms, and Logan looked very alarmed. “I’m sorry, you don’t have to do the aesthetic look, it was jus-“ Roman started laughing.

“It’s not about that nerd, I’m just so glad that y’all are so accepting.” Logan and Virgil looked at eachother then at Roman. “Of course we accepted you.” Logan said. “Yeah, besides, I always knew that you would wear something dramatic, might as well take Logan with you to make sure it’s not dramatically overpriced.” Virgil joked, and they all laughed.

-_-_-_-

A few days later, Patton and Virgil were making plans for the wedding bouquet. They were discussing how the Romans favorite flowers are red roses and red carnations, but Patton still wanted to tie a bit of the secondary blue theme into the bouquet.

*DING DING DING*

The bell over the door chimed, alerting them to a new customer. They both looked up from the planning book, and Virgil swore. Patton, recognizing the guy from the video Virgil showed him, narrowed his eyes.

“What the actual FUCK are you doing here?” Virgil growled.

“Oh come now,” Michael said, smirking. “Is that any way to treat a potential costumer?”

“You,” Patton seethed, “are not a costumer. Get out now.” Michael looked Patton up and down, then rolled his eyes. “Or what? You have no grounds to kick me or my boyfriend out.”

Virgil raised an eyebrow at that last statement, and then another guy walked in. He was wearing an orange and black hoodie and an orange beanie. He smirked at Virgil then gave Patton a once over.

“The fuck?” Virgil said, not believing that the asshole was able to get someone to date him. The guy glanced at Virgil but seemed to be focusing mostly on Patton. He even leaned close to Pat over the counter.

Michael was watching Virgil observe the orange clad person. He smirked, very obviously delighted.

“Oh, what’s that look for hot stuff? Are you jealous?” Virgil looked at Michael like he was the biggest dumbass in the world.

“Of what? Your so called boyfriend is checking out my best friend! Are you honestly telling me that you are fine with that?” Virgil asked, in both shock and disgust.

“Ethan and I have an... understanding.”

As if to prove a point, Ethan leaned closer to Patton and smiled. “Hi shortie.”

Patton, who was contemplating attacking Michael, looked shocked that Ethan was so close. Pat tilted his head. “Do I know you?”

Ethan looked proud. “Nah cutie, I think I would definitely remember someone who looks like you.”

Virgil and Patton looked at eachother, then at the guys who were flirting with them. ‘Where oh where is my protective, freakishly good looking boyfriend when I need him?’ They both thought.

Michael walked closer to Virgil, and tried to reach for him before Virgil smacked his hand away. Virgil immediately regretted doing that when Michael’s face lit up.

“Oh come on baby, it’s not like Logan’s around to stop us, so why not have some fun? You can’t actually tell me that you honestly like that robot, can you?”

As Michael hoped, Virgil got pissed.

“Yes, I can honestly tell you with 100% sincerity that I like Logan. More than like, he is expressive and playful and serious and calm. He is literally almost prefect in my eyes, so you can go FUCK OFF!” Virgil shouted, and shoved Michael back.

Well, at least he attempted to. It turns out that Virgil’s outburst is what Michael was hoping for. As soon as Virgil had but his hands on Michael’s chest to shove, Michael grabbed his wrists and pinned him again a shelf.

Patton is livid and tries to go and help Virgil, but it turns out that when he was silently cheering Virgil on, Ethan made it around the counter.

So when Patton moved to help Virgil, he ended up getting shoved and pinned against said counter. Patton looked at Ethan with fury in his eyes, and Ethan just looked amused.

“So...” Ethan starts, rubbing his hands up and down Patton’s arms. “Are you single?”

Patton looks at the engagement ring that was on his left hand. Ethan was holding his wrists, so Patton wiggles his fingers to bring attention to the ring. Ethan looked at it and shrugged. “So?”

Patton was dumbfounded. “Are you serious? No, I’m obliviously engaged! Plus, aren’t y’all two,” Patton nods toward where Michael and Virgil are watching them, “a thing?”

Ethan shrugs again. “Ehh,” he said, leaning into Patton’s personal bubble.

“We have an understanding. He can play with his boy toy,” Ethan gestures to Virgil. “And I,” Ethan states while placing his hand on Patton’s cheek, despite Patton’s efforts to bite him. “And I can play with mine.”

Michael forces Virgil’s gaze to lock onto his, and rubs circles onto Virgil cheek with his thumb. “While we let them get better aquatinted, how about we finish what we started at my Party?” Michael runs his hands down Virgil and leans in closer. He Virgil tried to move away in vain. Virgil could see the twisted joy in Michael’s expression and could feel Michael’s breath on his lips, when-

*BOOM DING DING DING POP*

Michael and Ethan both whipped their heads around, allowing the Virgil and Patton to see there heroes.

Logan looks like he just finished eating some of the glass window he broke, and Roman looked like he was about to light Ethan up with the flamethrower he was holding.

Wait-

“Roman, why the HELL are caring around a FLAMETHROWER?!” Patton yelled.

“To protect my fiancé with. Also, it matches the rage and fire in my eyes and soul.” Roman says while making it very obvious that he was pointing the gun at Ethan.

Logan looked at the ground and silently picked up the baseball bat that had been left by the door earlier in the week. He didn’t say a word, but if looks could kill, Michael would less then dissolved ash.

Logan gripped the bat, and stepped closer. “May I ask just what in the ever living FUCK you doing to my boyfriend?”

Michael looked a little afraid, but tried to keep of the facade.

“Well, before you so rudely interrupted us, we were having a moment.” Then Michael caressed Virgil and ghosted his lips over Virgil’s, touching but not quite kissing.

Logan’s eyes flashed.

Virgil shook his head. “We were not having a moment! I assure, I don’t want to be here!”

Logan’s look softened when he looked at Virgil. “Don’t worry starlight, I know.”

While Logan was confronting Michael, Roman started towards Ethan.

“And just who the hell are you?” Ethan smirked and said “I’m Patty’s new boyfriend.” Then he grabbed Patton around the waist and he kissed him. “Also, Patton told me that he doesn’t want to get married to you anymore. Just thought you should know.”

Roman gripped the flamethrower, planning a murder. He stepped closer to Ethan. “Is that so? Hmmm, Pat?” If Patton said yes, then Roman would walk away. But if he said no...

Patton viciously shook his head, looking like he was about to throw up. “No! My prince, you know I only want you.”

Roman smiled softly at Patton. “I know darling.”

He looked at Ethan. “You, however, need to get the fuck away from MY fiancé, so I can beat your ass!”

Logan told Virgil to duck and swung at the same moment that Roman slapped Ethan with the butt of the  flamethrower. Logan missed, mainly because he was trying not to hurt Virgil, but Ethan let go of Patton.

Patton dropped to the floor, but came back up 5 seconds later, holding something. He then started trying to hit Ethan with a barbed wire wrapped tennis racket. Ethan was so busy running from Patton that he ran straight into the punch Roman threw.

With Ethan now down for the count, Roman embraced and checked on Patton.

Logan swung and Michael ducked, resulting in Virgil being able to get free. He only made it about two steps before Michael grabbed his wrist and pulled him to where Virgil’s back was flush with Michael’s chest.

Michael yanked Virgil’s face, then kissed him hard and forcefully. He then forced Virgil to look at Logan. “How are you gonna get me without hurting your precious ‘starlight’?” Michael asked tauntingly.

Instead of answering Logan threw the bat at Michael’s head and hit him squared in the nose.

Michael released Virgil and Virgil ran into Logan’s arms. Logan wrapped Virgil tightly in his arms. He spat on a bleeding Michael.

“I hope it broke that time, bitch.”

Logan the picks up Virgil bridal style, and took him outside to where Roman was on the phone with 9-1-1. The cops arrested Michael and Ethan for three different types of assault. Roman and Logan explained how they had planned to surprise Patton and Virgil with a late lunch, and Romans flamethrower was actually a prop he was needing to repaint.

The paramedics checked everyone out, and everyone was deemed ok.

As soon as the paramedics left, Roman took Patton to their house for cuddling and affirmations of love. (Roman repeatedly told Patton that he was very brave, but Patton just wanted to know that Roman loves and still wants him after today’s events. Ethan made Patton worry that Roman would think that Patton didn’t care for Roman. But Roman knows how much Patton cares, and Roman would never not want Patton.  And that night, Roman made sure that Patton knew it.)

Logan took Virgil to his house. Logan’s house was closer to Virgil’s work, Thomas’s house, and Patton and Roman’s place, so Virgil had been staying over there a lot and already had nightclothes there.

They had cuddled and watched The Black Cauldron. Virgil was still a shaken, so Logan spent the entire movie whispering sweet nothing to Virgil while kissing him on the cheek, forehead, nose, everywhere but the lips.

Virgil started to think that it was for a reason.

“Hey Logan?” Virgil asked, his voice very soft. “Yes starlight?” Virgil smiled at the nickname, but became serious once more.

“Do you think I’m disgusting because of what Michael did?”

Logan was stunned. “Of course not Virgil! If you feel nasty you can take another bath, but I don’t think that you are disgusting. If anything, Michael is disgusting because he doesn’t know how to take no for an answer.”

Virgil started crying. “When he said that we were... you just looked so mad... and then when he... I thought you hated me..”

Logan scooped his boyfriend into his lap and squeezed him tight.

“Ohhh starlight, I am so sorry that I ever made you think that! I could never hate you, you are one of the most wonderful things in my life!”

Virgil stopped crying as much, as stared at Logan. “Really?”

Logan was determined to make Virgil believe him.

“Yes. I was planning to ask after the wedding, but Virgil, will you move in with me? You are already here all the time, you already have your own drawer, and every morning when I wake up without you in my arms or night where your face is not the last I see is just a waste. So, will you formally move in with me?”

Virgil wrapped his arms around Logan’s neck and kissed him deeply. “Of course I will! I love you!” Virgil said, then slapped his hand over his mouth.

That was the first time ‘I love you’ had been said between them.

Logan smiled and kissed Virgil. “I love you too.”

They spent the rest of the night cuddling, comforting, kissing, and saying ‘I love you.’

-----

Taglist-

@dragonwithproblems

@five-falseh00ds-ph0nated

@kawaiikat54

@thefingergunsgirl

@rainbowemonightmare

@kuroyurishion

@sanders-sides-with-quinn

@007ardra

@yikesdodson

@nerdycupcake559

@softestvirgil

@teacupfulofstarshine

@impatentpending

@star-crossed-shipper

@ravenivy2079

@ladyartemisia28

@moose-boi

@resident-trash-goblin

@parx-boiiz

@ninathepancake

[currentfandomkick]

Marinette’s Villainy Lessons with her Uncles, Victor Zsasz, Jerimah, Riddler and Ed

Reminder, the rouges know her as Jillian Strange and are aware her cover in Gotham is Jillian Smith in public.

Most people would think a hitman and casual murder would make a horrible, horribly godfather. At least for morals. 

Well, her father is Strange so he’s not most people. Her Maman had to have dated him or something so she probably isn’t normal either, Marinette would think as lessons began.

“Okay, now today we’re going to review how to take down  someone bigger than you. What do you do first?”

Marinette hummed. “Check what’s on them and around them. Look for weapons and weak points while keeping distance.”

Uncle Victor smiled. “Good job Jill!”

Marinette beamed at that. “Second step?”

“disarm them.”

“Good, now next thing?”

“Exploit wekanesses. Use weapons if possible.”

“In the kitchen, no knives open. but there’s a spork.”

“Spork?”

“Don’t question it. what do you do?”

“aim for the eye?”

“Good! popped out eyes are very distracting. Now, after that’s done, what do we do?”

“Run away and call the family.”

“And why not the police?”

“Batman will know. And he and the police will take me away.”

“And do we want that?”

“NEVER!”

“That’s my Jilly bean. Now, self defense in theory you have down. and you kept up with punch practice, right?”

“And kicks and the bendy-training.”

“Flexibility. You already have strength down, so we can focus on lean muscle like gymnasts and acrobats for you.”

“If i become an acrobat does that mean i have to be nice to batman?”

Zsasz shook his head. “Just because bat is in it, doesn’t make it his.”

“He calls his boomerangs batarangs. I’m not taking chances.”

--

“Now, its all in the wrist, Bend it back, like that, when the target is close.” Jerome hovered over Marinette, watching her form closely.

“I need to do this to take out the bad guys right?”

“If a bat goes after you when you’re with one of us, hit them hard.” He wouldn’t have Strange and whoever Jill’s Maman was after any of them for losing her mid-lesson to a zealous Batman or Robin. 

“Knees are better targets right?”

“Since you’re not allowed to kill, yes.” Jerome still didn’t get that rule, but whatever. His niece followed her Maman’s rules most of the time, and was adamant about that one. it made lessons more difficult, but they worked around it.

“Maman said something about it staining the soul,” the girl threw the knife, just missing the target.

“Eh, mine’s fine.” He didn’t regret any of it, something about him being incapable of remorse. 

“They were bad people right?”

“Of course, i don’t hurt actually good people--they make it so things don’t happen in the first place.” After all, letting things happen was bad too, and worse as far as Jerome was concerned. He still remembered everything his family did and how no one said anything about what was done to him. Silence and acceptance was far worse than doing in his books.

“Like Uncle Victor?” Marinette was still fuzzy on good and bad and the in betweens. her Father said its because binaries can’t contain her understanding so she needs another frame of reference or something.

“Like Uncle Victor,” Jerome agreed, watching Marinette closely as she sunk the next knife into the cereal box. “Now, i think we’ve done enough with weapons for now. Want to practice trapeze tricks?”

“But Aunt Harley isn’t here.”

“Safety nets are there for a reason.”

Marinette considered it for one second. Then bolted up the post and threw each trapeze into one another., making them swing for a challenge “I can’t fly for a few hours!”

“Good! Sooner you get used to falling, the less scary it is, trust me!”

“Okay!” Marinette grinned as she got a running start. She loved lessons like this.

--

Uncle Riddler decided today was a software programming day. And a cyber-crime day, she guessed. But those are always boring--she practices these with Hero Stalker and sometimes Max in Paris anyways.

“See, this is how you beat their firewalls, a simple virus that looks like a normal email. when it’s opened then we have access to the servers and get the information we want, okay?” Riddler was trying to be more clear with her today. Ed was probably trying to keep control.

“How long does it take?”

“Varies.”

“Can we get icecream while we wait?”

Riddler almost sighed. almost.

“Why?”

“Why not? We can’t build anything without the base and Father said no more autopsies in the kitchen.”

“It wasn’t even a human, just a bird. but nooo, that’s traumatizing and damaging to your mind.”

“But it was cool!”

“I know, i know. Bodies are just bigger puzzles... Hm, what’s broken when spoken Jilly bean?”

“The ice cream machine at McDonalds. And Silence, but that one’s an easy answer... OH! hero’s name is a honophone with crazy!”

“Batman.”

“Yep! Did he find the new base yet?”

“Nah, Dent got him off the trail last with another robbing spree.”

“Oh, is it going to Mr. Freeze for his research or bills or the RKC?”

“I... am pretty sure Rose stole it so your group won this time.”

“Yes!” Marinette fist pumped. “I told them operation bouncy ball would work!”

“....I. is that why they were everywhere.”

Marinette grinned back. “Just like you all keep saying, misdirection is the key to getting what you want when dealing with someone with more.”

Riddler grinned, the one that spelled doom for everyone else. “Our little jilly bean is already pulling off jobs on her own! I’m so proud!”

there was shift on his face, his stance altered and he was more... Uncle Ed than Uncle Riddler. “Jill, we talked about this. You need to be at least thirteen before you start plotting on your own.”

“I had co-conspirators of age so i didn’t break that rule!”

Uncle Ed was in control now. “I curse the day Dent taught you about malicious compliance and loopholes.”

“No you don’t. You’re just mad i used it against Dent and you missed him  tripping on everything. Don’t worry, Ghoul had cameras and made a montage.”

 Uncle Ed’s lip twitched. “Really?”

“Ice cream and we watch.” Mairinette knew her horrible stealth uncle had to be good at something. business things.

“Oswald is a terrible influence on you.”

why wasn’t this working? Wait, this is Riddler... “Ice cream please?”

“... fine. but no sparkly sprinkles.”

“But those are the best kind!”

“Jillian Strange,” Uncle Ed warned. “We do not leave evidence at the scene of a crime. Your favorite sprinkles leave evidence everywhere. Do you want to answer to your father about spoiling dinner again?”

“.... No. But after?”

“I want to know who gave you a metabolism like this, but sure. No telling Strange.”

“Okay!” Marinette ran off to the kitchen, returning with a large bowl for herself--half the gallon Ed noted--and a more normal serving for himself. “Here! and this is the video,” Marinette pulled out her ipad and played a few minutes of Dent tripping over various bouncy balls swarming his base.

“You really are a baby mastermind,” Uncle Riddler cooed. “Remind me to set you up with Puzzles later.” 

“Huh?” Marinette looked up from her empty bowl. 

“Nothing,” Ed said, almost glaring. 

“Oh, are you two fighting again? I’ll clean up until its over. Then we can work on the reality augmentation glasses, right?” Marinette asked with her infamous kitten eyes.

“Of course, I think you’ll like the new coding patterns we’ve been working on..”

--

Hope you enjoyed a slice of Marinette Strange Dupain Cheng’s Gotham life. 

Bonus:

“Jill, why are we missing a gallon of ice cream?”

“Uncle Ed took it.”

“...Please tell me it wasn’t for another biology lesson.”

Marinette thought for a moment. She is bad at lying. but letting her Father come to his own conclusions isn’t lying, right?

“I have to remind him that biology lessons are for his base again then, wonderful. I will bleach the counters. Put on  something while i do.”

“Breaking News,Poison Ivy’s Plants are out of control again.”

“Rose ran away again!” Marinette yellled.

Strange took a deep breath. “Get her room ready, I’ll call Harley.”

Marinette nodded, wandering off to find Ghoul and Frost in the ‘extra room’ already. “So who’s turn is it to tell Aunt Ivy to stop?”

“You’re here the least.”

Marinette groaned. “Do i get a disguise?”

“Green wig, colored contacts, and some baggy clothes i can feel you trying to burn.” 

“If i had heat vision it wouldn’t be trying.”

a few minutes later, the boys worked on fixing up the room while Marinette walked through the plant infested section of Gotham. The vines moved away from her, cuasing the few semi-conscious to stare at her. 

“Aunt Ivy! She’s on her way to my place, ok!”

Poison Ivy dropped to Marinette’s level, appearing from a bunch of vines. “Why didn’t she tell me!”

“You do this but at home when she does.”

“She knows better!”

“She’s six. She really doesn’t. Did you feed the flowers human blood again?”

“They were already dead, and they weren’t even half decent poeple. just abusers and pedos this time.”

“Did you tell her or...”

“They’re my children, why do i need to tell my non-plant daughter what her sibblings are eating?”

“So she doesn’t think you’re murdering for fun.”

“Oh right, that..”

--

Marinette casually curbing the rogues while learning how to villian and applying skills in the opposite direction will be a trend in the au. And they support her 100% when she does this as that’s their girl, theirs!

they tolerate whoever she adds though. eventually. 

[lethe626]

Hikaru no Go needs help

Mmmmmmmmokay! I think this is what the kids  would call being “back on my bullshit”... which is something I’ve always wanted to say, actually! Dreams really do come true!

I’m aware that this series was translated and released way way back in the day when people were just getting used to the idea of reading manga right-to-left instead of flipping it and not having dub names and all that. It kind of feeds into my overall point.

Hikaru no Go needs to be re-translated and re-released. 

It’s an amazing series and it deserves our best.

I won’t go into the way the anime and manga both decided to use every character’s first name instead of the names they were actually called by other characters. Or how confusing that is.

Or how the episodes that are on Hulu (and by extension the ViZ website) have some serious video quality issues that are always distracting and occasionally even make the subtitles hard to read. 

Or how godawful the dub is... 

What I want to talk about today is the official translation of the manga. 

[HIKARU NO GO SPOILERS, PLEASE DON’T SPOIL YOURSELVES ON THIS 20-SOMETHING YEAR OLD SERIES. I’M SERIOUS. YOU WILL FEEL ONLY REGRET.]

When I first read Hikaru no Go, I’d never seen a manga raw, let alone read one. All I had to go on were the official translations (and scanlations, but those were and still are kind of a crapshoot). But even then, I felt like there were some places where things were just off. Moments that came across weird. Conversations that felt really different from the rest of the series and from the pages surrounding them. And they mostly came towards the end of the series, after the point where the anime ended.

I... Hikaru no Go is kind of... I’m not sure how to put it. It’s not a series one can easily consume over and over again. I think I’d probably get stress ulcers and die if I tried it. So I’ll admit that I haven’t read most of the manga raw. I only read pieces of the last few volumes. So all of my examples come from pretty late in the series. Maybe the beginning was fine. It did seem like they changed translators somewhere near the end of the middle of the series, based on the style of translation. (I guess I should probably look that up and find out for sure... Confirmed: It was Andy Nakatani up to volume 12 and Naoko Amemiya after that) But there were definitely issues that could stand to be addressed, even just in the parts that I read.

Anyway! Let’s get started! 

First, they called Yashiro by the wrong name. Repeatedly. Which is an issue in itself. Please proofread your official-and-totally-for-profit scripts to make sure you’re using the right name, y’all. C’mon.

Secondly, there were conversations where they dropped entire chunks of people’s personalities or the emotions they were expressing. It was like they summarized the information that was shared, but had absolutely no regard for the way people said it or the emotion behind it.

Here’s one example. This conversation hurt in the original and was a dead-eyed nothing in the translation. 

Hikaru-kun heard that Ko Yong-Ha was saying how Shuusaku was garbage and he took serious offense. He tried to get himself put in the top slot on the Hokuto Cup Team just to face off against the guy. And he got shot down. 

So everybody goes to bed after that and he & Yashiro are sharing a room since they’re spending the night at Touya-kun’s house. And Yashiro, who is playing in the 3rd slot, starts asking Hikaru-kun questions about the Korean 3rd whom Hikaru-kun had beaten a while back when he was an insei. 

But Hikaru-kun had something else on his mind, ignored the question, and responded thus...

ROMANIZED ORIGINAL TEXT Hikaru: Honinbou Shuusaku ga... moshi ikitetara Ko Yong-Ha nanka yatsukechau no ni... zettai makenee no ni...

MY SUGGESTION Hikaru: Honibou Shuusaku... would beat the pants off a loser like Ko Yong-Ha, if he was alive... There’s no way he’d lose, if he was here...

OFFICIAL TRANSLATION Hikaru: Honibou Shuusaku. If he was alive, he'd whip Ko Yong-Ha's butt. No way he'd lose.

It’s a case of the information inside being correct, because that IS what he said, but those “no ni”s convey an emotion that we completely lose in the official translation. Because, YES, he’s saying that... uhh... Shuusaku... would kick Ko Yong-Ha’s butt 100%, but the main point of what Hikaru-kun is saying is that... he’s not here to do it. 

The thing that’s bothering him isn’t that Ko Yong-Ha said what he said so much as that Sai isn’t here to prove him wrong. Even though he could’ve beaten that jerk with his eyes closed. That’s what those “no ni”s were for. And we lost them. We lost all of that.

And there are a lot of examples just like that. Pieces of personality that we dropped. They basically took all the sympathetic traits out of Ko Yong-Ha with the way they translated his dialogue.  Messed up Kurata-sensei’s quirkiness. 

It’s important to translate the information correctly. That’s obvious. But you have to be careful not to lose the subtext or the idiosyncratic ways that people phrase things. Because those are very important, too. Equally important.

[Actually, now that I’m thinking about it, there was a part really early that could probably use an editor. Kaga stubbed out a cigarette on Tsutsui-san’s board. They changed it to him sticking gum on it in the anime and the manga... started by saying it was a cigarette and then said he “put his gum out” on the board. Which... I mean, it might have happened in the original. I didn’t read that part raw, but... somebody should do something about it.]

Thirdly, and this is the thing that actually prompted me to read it raw, there’s a conversation near the end that felt so weird and seemed so out of left field that I found myself wondering, “What the heck did they actually say? Is this for real?!”

Yang Hai and Touya-sensei were watching Hikaru-kun play a match against the aforementioned Ko Yong-Ha and were having a conversation about the stuff Yong-Ha had said about Honinbou Shuusaku and what it might’ve been like if Shuusaku’s ghost had somehow come around and learned the modern state of the game. 

And that them in mind of one player in particular. One online-only player, screenname: s a i. 

They tossed the idea around for a bit, all in hypotheticals. What if  s a i  really was the ghost of Shuusaku? Why might he have come back now? How awesome would it have been to see the best modern player in the world against one of the historical greats? 

And then Hikaru-kun’s game ended and so did the conversation. And Touya-sensei looked the game over and mused to himself about Hikaru-kun’s progress as a player.

ORIGINAL Touya-sensei:  進藤君と私は同じなのかもしれない   saiの強さを追っている

ROMANIZED ORIGINAL Touya-sensei: Shindou-kun to watashi wa onaji nano kamo shirenai. s a i  no tsuyosa wo otteiru.

MY SUGGESTION Touya-sensei: I can’t help but wonder if Shindou-kun and I are in the same boat…  …chasing  s a i’s strength.

A perfectly natural thing to wonder, given the way things happened and his experiences up to that point. He was on a personal journey to improve his game by playing people from all over the world so he could come back and have his promised rematch with  s a i  someday when he thought he was strong enough to win. And he knows that Hikaru-kun knows  s a i  because he set up the match between them in the first place. It feels like Hikaru no Go, right? 

Now brace yourselves. This is how the official release translated it.

OFFICIAL TRANSLATION Touya-sensei: All right, Sai... ...say what you have to say.

--That’s not what he said...! That’s not even close to what he said...!

Please. Someone. Tell me you see the story implications of WHATEVER the eff that was. Did they just rewrite the ending to the series? 

Touya-sensei played against some guy with the screenname “s a i” online. He never met Fujiwara-no-Sai. Never heard of him. He’s definitely not IN CONTACT WITH HIM right now. Which seems to be what they’re implying. 

What did I just read??

I understand that translating fiction is an art. And I’ll grant that this calls back to an earlier point in their translation of the conversation with Yang Hai where they wondered what Shuusaku’s Ghost might be trying to tell them by coming back. So the translation at least has that going for it.

But even so. What is this? 

I mean, the entire conversation was really weirdly translated with Yang Hai, who never talked like this before, saying things like, “Allow me to fancy a little further...” which was jarring enough. But like... ??????????????????

In conclusion, please re-translate and re-release the manga and update the subtitles on the anime so that they use the names people are actually saying when they talk to each other. Also fix the video quality. I will buy the entire thing again. Do not underestimate my passion.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

[fearfearer]

more thoughts about the magnus archives as i reread the transcripts

i was thinking about how gertrude robinson was really an extraordinary person (not extraordinarily Morally Sound, but extraordinary) just because of who she was, whereas the only extraordinary things about jonathan sims are things that have been arranged for him (i.e. his role). i don't mean this as a diss for jonathan, as i'm not extraordinary either. it's just striking that gertrude was so driven and confident compared to jon. of course, now we know that basically everything she did was in the pursuit of a moot goal (i.e. killing people in order to stop rituals that were already doomed to fail) so maybe my point is somewhat moot as well.

i've been doing some rereading of episodes on my phone (i.e. away from this text document on my computer) and i'll have a realization like "right, i should note that down when i get back to my computer" and i have forgotten all of them now that i am back at my computer. suffice it to say there are quite a few things i misheard/misunderstood on the first listen, unsurprisingly.

reading through the first 20 or so episodes i'm surprised by how well i remember each of them, considering i was listening like 4 episodes a day when i started. then again, it was only a month or two ago that i even listened to them, so one should hope my memory is at least this good. anyway the first episode i'm re-listening instead of rereading is 22 bc that's the first one where we hear martin's voice, i'm pretty sure

i've also noticed some errors in the official transcripts, which aren't a big deal because obviously what matters most is the audio, but still... some of them have been simple typos. magnus archives hire me as your official transcriptionist and i'll make all your transcripts 100% error-free bc im smatr

(reading through the rest of the transcripts and my standards went way down in terms of grammar/stylistic consistency, as most of the later ones are fan transcripts by several different people. i found quite a few mistakes, but obviously i have no particular way to help fix them short of sending an email to the tma transcripts fansite person like “hey there’s all these mistakes. upload my good version instead?” bc i’m not that much of a dick)

the whole reason martin went to the spider guy's building was because he didn't want jon to be disappointed in him for not doing Due Diligence. he says so twice. then he went back for the same reason. it seems the fandom joke is "jon asks his assistants to do crimes for him" but in this case martin is like "oh no maybe i didn't do enough crimes to satisfy jon"

jon was doing his archivist voice HEAVILY in season 1, huh?

tim's first appearance is so jovial compared to how he ends up...

if this boat lady is speaking spanish in brazil, then it doesn't matter if it was "bad spanish" or not. anyway now i understand why we already knew peter lukas was serving the lonely by the time jon mentioned offhand that peter lukas was serving the lonely. it was my whole “let’s not bother noting down any FREQUENTLY RECURRING names”

well i guess robert smirke was a real person. should i feel dumb about this? idk. it’s such a fictional-sounding name, to be fair. but i guess that set the precedent of using a real person as an important historical figure in the fiction that we see happening again when edmund halley is referenced later on. also episode 35 has foreshadowing for the separation of 14 powers, and people thought it was 13 because they mention 13 halls PLUS the one they came through.

totally forgot about tim goofing around in episode 39... he was really not having the worst time at this job before bad things started happening and he realized he was trapped, huh

the worms were trying to make a doorway into the Worm Wealm

ep 40 jon's like "I need to hear it. I need to record it. Or else I can't finish." (lightly abridged)

listening to the season 1 Q&A for the first time and EARL BIGMAC

also good to know there's only going to be 5 seasons. very good to know. this seems like a good kind of series to write with a fixed endpoint in mind, as it's very easy to do an episode that has effectively no bearing on the MetaPlot but which is still a short story in itself and therefore doesn't count as "filler"

jonathan sims performs with a mythical space pirate music cabaret. so he IS a ham

jonny says, "no rude words. i could say bums, maybe..." (alexander j newall does a laugh while i do the exact same laugh irl) "...but i won't."

some dumbass writing into the Q&A to ask if the background music is diegetic... get a podcast brain, ya fool. though for my part, i have to say that one of the most striking things about this podcast when i first started listening (though i never made a note of it before) was the Too Spooky Music, and i didn't like it at all. the reason was that i am, and have been, vulnerable to Getting Spooked about irrational things at night, such that it becomes really hard to fall asleep... and one of the things that has an outsize effect on my level of Spookédness is spooky audio. so if i was watching a video at night and i was worried it would Get Me Spooked, i would just turn the sound off, and it would turn out fine. but obviously you can't turn the sound off on a podcast. and i've been listening to podcasts after work, i.e. after 5pm, and i go to bed at like 8 or 9pm because i'm old. so the way it turned out was that even if the actual subject of the podcast wasn't that scary to me, the music would amplify it in an unpleasant way and make me more likely to have trouble sleeping. also i think most of the episodes would have been fine without the music, or maybe with some less intentionally-disconcerting background music.

this just in: i seem to have totally missed episode 50 on my first listen-through, despite having gone in linear order. bc i'm listening to it now and i've definitely never heard this before. fortunately it doesn't seem to have much of a bearing on the rest of the series, so it's not like i missed any crucial information. tbh the only worthwhile bit was a brief moment of tim being a ham, which was good. i hope i didn't miss any other episodes the first time... still don't know how i managed to miss this one.

the official transcript said [EXTENDED SOUNDS OF BRUTAL PIPE MURDER] ...

so gertrude and leitner WERE played by jonny's parents <:3c i'd thought as much when i saw the cast names but i like that it's confirmed. his mom is a really good actress too. i always find the gertrude episodes to be striking in a certain way

"it's Fine working with your parents. it's Fine." as someone who worked with my mom for like a year i can confirm this

i'm tickled to find that the official transcripts have a sense of humor. i wonder who is behind them. i also wonder, what is the excuse for not having a full set of official transcripts when it is a script-based show? surely you know what is going to be said beforehand, and you have it written down, and if someone ends up saying something different in the final recording, surely it wouldn’t be too hard to give the original script a little edit, and bam! that’s a transcript. i wonder if this approach is not feasible for some reason.

whenever martin reads statements, he says something about jon... whenever he talks to someone, he says something about jon

i think episode 110 is an instance of the tape recorder turning ITSELF off... at the end of the episode. because they walk away, and they say something distantly, and then it turns off. lots of other times, there had to be a diegetic reason for the tape recorder to turn off at the end.

i noticed something which i missed last time, which was that there is a rumor between melanie and georgie and basira that implies that jonathan is asexual. worth noting, i think. [side note added in later: yeah it’s canon. cool]

also i listened to episode 103 again and yes. i had thought-- i had been SURE-- that the person interrogating the traffic cop (using the asky ability) was martin. but it was actually jon. how did i possibly manage that mistake? i'm not great at distinguishing voices, but i'm not THAT bad. the only possible answer: when i was listening to the episode for the first time... i must have been eating a crunchy snack.

"it doesn't have to make sense! alex has to make it sense." (jonny sims re: writing the spiral)

glad to know that jonny sims regrets using his own name for the protagonist. doesn't make a difference either way at this point but yeah

YES i knew episode 100 was improvised. and i see, all the statementers had actually had supernatural experiences, but because the archivist was absent, their statements didn't have the coherence and clarity normally lent to them by the eye (in exchange for becoming cursed). i think melanie or basira actually said pretty much that in the episode itself, but i still couldn't be sure that all of those people had something real to talk about.

"in the same way that tim is dead, michael is helen." good shit

the archivist is canon a bit of a drama queen. the first bullet point in my first tma notes document is vindicated

jonny sims mentions another podcast (apocrypals) that sounds 100% up my alley, so that is appreciated, i will add that to my list i think. (listened to episodes 0 and 1 of apocrypals and i'm heavily struck by how VERY clearly i can hear the smiles in chris sims's voice. i did not know smiling could be so audible, truly.) (listened to quite a few more episodes of apocrypals and it’s certainly entertaining at times. i should’ve been reading along though. maybe some other time)

I DIDN'T LISTEN TO THE SEASON 4 TEASER THE FIRST TIME AROUND.........................................

i must confess something that people who know me well may already know: i hate when stories have a bad ending. an unhappy ending. a painful ending. a hopeless ending. bittersweet is the furthest in that direction i can tolerate. my perspective, which is pretty deep-seated, is that there's no point in getting to know and love characters if you're only going to be hurt by that connection to them when the end turns out to be bad. if i have even a mild inkling that a story is heading toward a bad ending, i make a conscious effort to regard all characters from afar and not develop any strong attachments. this is not so much "how i think all stories need to be," but rather, "the characteristics a story needs to have to appeal to me personally." so i understand that my view is very subjective and mostly based on my own mental weakness. but i can't help but apply it to the media i consume. and the idea that someone would do something like "make characters very human and strongly developed" IN COMBINATION WITH "heading toward a bad end" makes me upset. like, picture a horror movie. think about the characters in a horror movie. with the exception of a main character, if there is one, there's no guarantee that anyone is going to survive to the end of the film... BUT... the characters generally aren't fleshed out and very sympathetic. i wouldn't go so far as to say they're disposable, but you're not SUPPOSED to cry when they die; you're just supposed to get scared. their purpose is as objects of fear, and you never expect or even hope for a happy ending. but in the magnus archives... all i'm saying... is that i would cry if any of the remaining members of the main cast died. and it seems clear that we're not heading to a happy ending. so i'm somewhat afraid, and not in a good way. i don't know how much i can trust jonny sims to give me the story i want, and obviously, i'm not entitled to it.

if your name is jonathan and you want to shorten it, the short form is jon. it ain't john, no matter what the official transcripts say. where'd you get that h, huh? stole it from someone else's name? are you shortening it like JOnatHaN? you can’t just be that sneaky!

i listened to scrutiny again and it hits so hard. now, in heart of darkness, when manuela begs jon not to force her statement, it's really heavy given the direct context of the previous two episodes where we see how compulsion works and how it hurts.

also when jon was talking about how to destroy the dark sun and he was like "i just need to see it," when i first heard it, i assumed he meant something along the lines of, "by seeing it, i will learn how to destroy it." but now i understand that the mere act of the eye seeing it destroys it, because being known is what the darkness is weakest to.

the magnus employees who work in the library probably at least have a LITTLE BIT of a feeling that they work in an almost normal place, given that jon and all his assistants were able to have that impression before transferring to the archives. so i wonder how the magnus library people feel about their institute's director getting arrested for double murder and now the big boss is a completely unrelated ship captain who seems to want nothing to do with the place but simultaneously is trying to continue business as usual

on second listen, listening to jon ask helen when the guilt stops (wrt hurting people in order to feed one's patron fear) is pretty chilling. because it seems like he's definitely accepting that he will have to hurt people, and what he's concerned about is how bad it makes HIM feel. of course, helen then answers with precisely what i just wrote, so...

i should've read the transcript for episode 159 instead of relistening because i forgot that peter lukas's actor got so gravelly and hard to listen to in this one. anyway, time to re-listen to the season 4 finale... then i'll listen to the season 4 Q&As and stuff... and then the new episode. (DOKI DOKI DOKI DOKI DOKI)

i heard in the Q&A that the voice of peter lukas did multiple takes for episode 159?! but it was because of technical difficulties. right. because i can’t imagine the way it turned out being deemed the best take. sorry

ok, things i missed last time i listened to 160: daisy and the other two hunters are missing. also jon mentioned "magnus's body" and martin mentioned "an old man's corpse" and at the time i took this to mean (somewhat unthinkingly) that when jon and martin returned from the lonely, they killed elias/jonah's body. which would be a weird thing to happen "off-camera," so to speak. so i think i must have been wrong? slightly confused. ok, no, i'm now sure that elias survived, so i must have misunderstood. definitely alive.

as martin leaves and jon is about to begin the statement, he sounds so peaceful and satisfied. that's good acting.

by the way, in one of the previous few episodes, i noticed that jonah seems to have body-swapped by switching out his eyes into his preferred body, which i'm pretty sure i missed the first time.

i like that jonny sims checks reddit to see whether people have solved the mystery. that's just a really funny way to do things, sneaking a peek like "hmm how mysterious is my mystery? let's see who has figured it out..." and for the record, i wasn't even close to figuring it out. but to be fair to myself, i didn't try. like i said from the beginning, i started listening with the intent of going along for the ride. plus the mystery had already been solved before i started listening to the series, so it's not like i had a lot of time in between updates to contemplate whether elias was jonah, etc.

JON'S AMERICAN ACCENT FOR THE IONIZED YEAST AD

ALEX WAS THE VOICE OF JARED HOPWORTH?! i mean it was so messed up it could have been anybody but god

ALEX DIDN'T LET GERTUDE CACKLE

i've listened to the bloopers (including a gertrude cackle?) and the season 5 trailer (martin seems slightly cavalier about the end of the world but maybe he's just trying to keep his shit together for jon) and i'm going to listen to the new episode Soon.

final conclusion on rereads/relistens: i had pretty poor comprehension of some important happenings. i’m realizing just how easy it is to mishear/fail to hear exactly what is happening in a podcast when you’re doing other stuff at the same time. there are still a couple things i don’t quite understand, but i think i’ll have a look around the wiki one of these days.

[star-anise]

T1J -  How Patience with People Makes the World Better

Summary: “People don't get "woke" overnight. Sometimes we have to be patient and help them get there.“

Transcript below:

Text on screen: Whenever you actually put together something that works, it’s always complicated. It’s always messy… it’s never what the little Twitter crowd is talking about.”  -Van Jones 

Sometimes it's hard to comprehend other people's ideas. We just can't imagine how and why some people believe the things they do. The correct view is so obvious to us and we either assume that people are just lost and will never change their mind or that we can somehow change their mind and convince them to do a complete mental 180. Both of these are possible, but neither really reflect how most people actually are people are. People are usually hesitant to flat-out admit that they were wrong but we can add nuance to someone's view by offering a different perspective. The problem is that we sometimes think people should naturally understand things in the same way that we do so, we're confused when they aren't very receptive to our ideas. If you're trying to teach your old racist grandma who grew up during Jim Crow about racial microaggressions, it's likely that she's not going to be eye to eye with you. (sarcastically:) Get it together grandma! 

It's possible that it's a lost cause, but maybe you can find an alternate route towards getting her to understand. The fact of the matter is sometimes you have to meet people where they are rather than demanding that they catch up to you. 

Hi, I'm T1J.

Speaking very generally, there are at least two types of social justice advocates on the internet. There are people who work with others to discuss effective solutions to the problems that society faces. And on the other hand there are people who don't seem to be really interested in actually solving problems, and just kind of want to express their frustration and call people out. Now in many ways that frustration is valid and justifiable, but in my opinion you shouldn't expect angry confrontation to lead to very much actual progress. But if you're just here to just sort of yell at people then carry on I guess. But this video isn't really for you. This video is for that first group: people that actually want to find solutions to both societal and personal conflicts. 

I think a lot of us have this delusion that we're gonna convince other people to just suddenly wake up, like they're gonna have a light switch flipped in their brain overnight and come to realize that we were right all along, and then they'll join us on the frontline marching for freedom. And then we have this principled stubbornness where it's like, “Well, if they can't understand that they're wrong then fuck ‘em, the people who are right will win in the end anyway, they'll just have to be on the wrong side of history.”­ And it's true that some people have no interest in being informed or expanding their perspective but it's also true that some people just haven't been engaged properly. And I believe that the world seems to slowly get more progressive over time, but I feel like proper advocacy involves doing our best to make our world a little bit better for this generation, not just future ones, and that's got to involve getting out there and touching people's hearts and minds. But everybody is on a different step in their journey towards enlightenment. Some people need just a little nudge in the right direction while others probably need to be tossed a larger bone. 

I'll toss YOU a larger bone. Sorry, I couldn't resist.

So for example a thing that you often hear is you should respect women because that woman is someone's mother or daughter or wife, etc and this is kind of obnoxious because it's like you should respect women because in addition to being wives and daughters and mothers they're also people and they don't deserve to be mistreated. Like, you shouldn't have to invoke familial relationship to a woman in order to understand why you shouldn't be shitty to them. And that is 100% true but if the goal is getting people to appreciate and respect women and an effective context in which we can convince people to do that is reminding them of their relationships with the women in their own family, I feel like you should take the small victory. Not everyone is going to gain a sophisticated insight overnight. Sometimes we have to let people use training wheels until they catch up and if we create this culture where anything less than perfection causes you to be dismissed and dragged regardless of your intentions, that just seems to be a very good way to alienate potential allies. Which, if your goal is progress is not what you want to be doing. 

A couple months ago there was a viral video on Twitter of this guy who was protesting outside of a Roy Moore rally. By the way, shoutout to my home state of Alabama for not electing that creepy douchebag. But anyway this guy was protesting Roy Moore's homophobic remarks in honor of his gay daughter who had committed suicide. In the video he implies that at one point he didn't accept his daughter's homosexuality. (Man in video:) “I was anti-gay myself. I said bad things to my daughter myself, which I regret.” The video is very moving, in my opinion, and I'm kind of even getting emotional thinking about it, and it got a very positive response. But I did see a bunch of comments talking about how shitty it is that a gay person had to die before they were recognized as legitimate, and I mean, that's a fair point, but first of all: this is a grieving father, like back up for a minute. Secondly this guy has probably lived his whole life in a homophobic environment and it took something tragic to get him to reconsider his views. It's terrible that he had to go through that but he's on the verge of a breakthrough. This is not the time to antagonize him. 

He's probably not going to be marching with rainbow flags anytime soon but he can share his story with his community and help bridge the gap. He could tell his friends to chill out when they're using homophobic slurs or making shitty jokes. He could be a friend to closeted people down at the farm in Wicksburg, Alabama. I don't know if he's gonna do any of these things; I'm just saying he's less likely to if we immediately dogpile him for not being woke enough. 

So here's my thing: I understand that a lot of this is just wacky people on social media being mean just for the sake of doing it. One of the biggest lessons that I've learned is that Twitter doesn't necessarily reflect the actual state of our society and our movement in reality. But I do think that there's a notable segment of activists both on and offline who claim to want progress and change, but seem to be more concerned with dismissing people they deemed to be not on their level than they are with actually trying to help people get there. And like I said, if that's what you want to do, I think that's unfortunate but it's not really my place to tell you not to. I just don't think it does anything. In fact, it's probably actively harmful to the movement. 

And again, some people clearly have no intention of engaging ideas in good faith or considering the possibility that they might be wrong about something, and it's actually important for us to develop the ability to identify when that's happening so we don't waste time arguing with brick walls. The willingness to open ourselves to new ideas is a step that we all have to take on our own. No one can force us to do that. But at the same time we can help people find their way to that door if we're a little more patient and take the time to meet them where they are in their path towards understanding.

Das jus me doe. What do you think? 

Thank you for watching my video. I'm currently selling these Das Just Me Doe wristbands to help me raise money to buy a new computer so that I can edit videos without my old computer almost blowing up. If you'd like to check them out head on over to the the1janitor.com/wristband and I thank you for your support.

[howyoustudythestars]

Behind the Lyrics of Adam Young - “Fiji Water” (with “label” rant)

I know the last time I said I’d pick this “series” up that I’d focus on a request, but I feel like I have to make this, especially with some of the comments I’ve seen flying around here and elsewhere about this track.  So, without further ado, I present the reason why this procrastinator will fail his final projects this Behind the Lyrics post!  (And not to worry, I plan on making posts for all the requests and find a song for that anon real soon!!)

Tonight’s song is “Fiji Water”, the first track off of the upcoming album Cinematic.  You can find the song in all regular music places.  (But you’re pre-ordered the album by now, right?  Right.)

As always, here are the lyrics:

Got an email at 22 Told me I could be a star On a plane for the first time I couldn't wait to start Landed at JFK Father Christmas picked me up Checked in to a dream hotel And I thought "There's no such thing as luck" I walked into my interview And I thought "There's no such thing as luck" And oh, if I only knew then what I know now I'd stand like a one-man band And I'd say "All this is new to me, but here's how it's gonna be" And I'd say "Hey, there is more to me than meets the eye Let me be who I wanna be" And I'd say "Hey, I'm an oddity and that's alright Let me fly and follow my dreams" And I'd say "Hey, thanks for the weekend A good time was had by all" And I'd say "Hey, thanks for the weekend I ain't a smooth talker but thanks for the Fiji Water" Thanks for the Fiji Water Dinner under a palm tree I had so much on my mind Amazed by the bright lights I stayed up half the night And boy, I took a leap of faith With nowhere else to go but up I walked in to my interview And I thought "There's no such thing as luck" And oh, if I only knew then what I know now I'd stand like a one man band And I'd say "All this is new to me, but here's how it's gonna be And I'd say "Hey, there is more to me than meets the eye Let me be who I wanna be" And I'd say "Hey, I'm an oddity and that's alright Let me fly and follow my dreams" And I'd say "Hey, thanks for the weekend A good time was had by all" And I'd say "Hey, thanks for the weekend I ain't a spin-doctor but thanks for the offer" And "By the way, hey, thanks for the weekend" (cause no one does it like you do) "You know I had a ball" (it was nice to meet you) And I'd say "Hey, thanks for the weekend I ain't a smooth talker but thanks for the Fiji Water" Thanks for the Fiji Water I laughed when I got back home and I thought "There's no such thing as luck"

Here’s a disclaimer that I didn’t think I have to make, but given some of the asks I have received over the years since starting this series, I figure I must re-iterate: I am not Adam Young.  I do not know Adam Young.  All of this is just my personal opinion and my interpretation of the lyrics.  While I try with this series to get inside the mind of Adam Young, I cannot actually do so, and I could be 100% wrong about all of this.

With that out of the way, the main reason I’m making this post is there are several theories out there that claim this song describes some sort of regret Adam had when signing to the label or the so-called “pressure” he had received from them.  While it may seem that way at first (especially when all we had to go on was the 30-second preview on Google Play), I don’t think that’s the case for several reasons, especially after watching Adam’s song explanation video, which you can see right here:

First off, it is apparent this song is primarily around the time he first signed to Republic Records (then called Universal Republic Records).  At the time, Fireflies didn’t even exist yet, and his main identity as an artist was his online presence, especially on MySpace.  The main time people thought there was pressure from the label was back in the days of the Shooting Star EP leading up to The Midsummer Station.  Had it gone from Maybe I’m Dreaming straight to TMS, you might have a point.  But any sort of pressure, if it was there, would have happened 3-4 years after the events that this song purports to be talking about.  That doesn’t make sense.

If there was pressure from the label during the creation of TMS, then it would be a sharp detour.  But I don’t believe that’s the case.  As it says in this Billboard article, Adam saw that ATBAB didn’t sell as well as Ocean Eyes, and rather than keep beating a dead horse or worse, blaming the label for making it fail, he asked himself, “What can I do differently to make my next project even better?”  It was his idea for collaborating with outside producers, and his label and management at Foundations thought of people he could collaborate with on.  In other words, there was no pressure from Adam to change things up for TMS, nor was it the label’s idea.  He even personally re-iterated this in his then-personal Tumblr account moderngardening.  It was his idea and the label took it and ran with it.

If there was any pressure, it was not from Adam’s creative process, but rather his label rejecting songs he had made and disagreements on a tracklisting with the whole project that was Mobile Orchestra feeling rushed.  If anything, this might have been what prompted him to leave Republic Records.  Keep in mind, I theorized elsewhere on this blog earlier that Universal Republic was under different management than Republic, and TMS was released under the Universal Republic name, while everything after that was released under the Republic name.  If any of this is the case, that seems like a very sharp detour to make on a song that’s supposed to be about an interview that got him signed to a major record label, even more so than it would be with TMS.

Finally, while there is a danceable vibe to it, as Adam explains in the video, Fiji Water is supposed to be an inspiring track that encourages the listener to take big risks in life because, sometimes, those risks pay off.  I don’t know about you, but to me, it would seem counter-intuitive to write the song explaining about the negative pressure he felt from the label, especially when it was controlled by different people than when he signed, and with that pressure being about what songs he fully made should and shouldn’t make the cut on an album.  Imagine Adam coming up to you and saying, “I took a risk by jumping on a flight to sign with a major record label, and while it worked out well for me at first, after a while they started not liking what I did anymore and I felt it was better for me to leave.”  Does that sound encouraging to you?  I think not!

And this is not to necessarily squash anyone’s interpretation to the contrary, especially since I can see where some of those ideas come from in the lyrics like “there’s no such thing as luck”, “if I only knew then what I know now,” “let me be who I want to be”, and “I ain’t a spin-doctor but thanks for the offer”.  But to me, those lyrics speak of a different idea, and in fact, I think it means Adam was grateful for signing to the label.  Sure, they didn’t see eye to eye all the time and Adam and Republic Records occasionally butt heads, but at the end of the day, if Adam had to do it all over again, he’d still end up signing with them.  How does this all pan out?  Let’s dive into the lyrics:

Got an email at 22 Told me I could be a star On a plane for the first time I couldn't wait to start

For the most part, the lyrics, at least in the verses, are pretty self-explanatory.  It’s him telling the story of how he got signed to Universal Republic Records.  It all started when he was 22, and he got an email, presumably from Universal Republic’s A&R team, saying they liked what he was doing and they were interested in signing him.  Before you know it, he takes his first plane flight in his entire life, and he’s excited.

Landed at JFK Father Christmas picked me up Checked in to a dream hotel And I thought "There's no such thing as luck"

He lands in New York City (as that’s where JFK airport is).  Now, the next bit I have a bit of insight into, as this line was explained by Adam’s girlfriend in a YouTube video of hers.  The guy who picked him up from the airport, according to Adam, looked a lot like Santa Claus.  (And for those not informed, “Father Christmas” is the name of the gift-giver in the UK; Santa Claus is a name of American origin.)  The idea of a “dream hotel” makes it sound like it was very glamorous to him.  And of course it would; this was the first time he had ever left Owatonna for a big city.  (I’ll save myself from having to say he hadn’t left Owatonna until then until we have more clues behind the song “Montana”.)

The phrase “There’s no such thing as luck”, to me, is his attitude for whether or not he would ever make it professionally as a musician full-time.  Keep in mind, Owl City was likely created in the same vein as other projects: Port Blue, Insect Airport, Seagull Orchestra, Sky Sailing, etc.  It was just another project for Adam to release electropop music under.  However, unlike all those other projects, Owl City started to gain traction.  “Hello Seattle” was extremely popular on MySpace, he was making a good chunk of money selling his songs through CD Baby, he started to grow a fan base, and for the first time, he was noticed by “the big guys”.  To him, he was still humble, and he didn’t take anything for granted.  He thought it would be a major step up for his career as a musician, and he had no idea where his career was going to go from there at this point.

(As usual, I will save the chorus until the very end)

Dinner under a palm tree I had so much on my mind Amazed by the bright lights I stayed up half the night

As Abbey also said in the video, the “palm tree” is a reference to a restaurant he ate at while in New York City called The Palm.  He had so much on his mind, and I can imagine what it must have been like.  Whenever I have something really going well for me, but it isn’t set in stone yet, my mind has a tendency to go on fast forward and think about what will happen once this and that happens.  Sort of playing the story in mind before it happens.  Maybe it’s an Asperger's thing?  He was also awestruck by all the bright city lights, which was something he only imagined in his songs before.  He hadn’t seen them for himself until now, and naturally, like back at home, he couldn’t sleep.  He was so blown away by this whole experience he was at a loss for words and just had to stay awake.

And boy, I took a leap of faith With nowhere else to go but up I walked in to my interview And I thought "There's no such thing as luck"

Yes, he did take a gigantic leap of faith.  He had no idea what was going to happen after that.  Worst case scenario, should he crash and burn, he still would have a fall-back fan base with which he could continue to work his magic and keep creating music for.  Literally, the only place he could possibly go was up, further beyond his wildest dreams.  And when all was said and done, not knowing what would happen to him career-wise, he went into his interview.

And oh, if I only knew then what I know now I'd stand like a one-man band And I'd say "All this is new to me, but here's how it's gonna be

The pre-chorus and chorus are where he gets the most creative lyrically.  To me, this is about hindsight, but not what you think it is about.  He’s naturally introverted so he may not have had the biggest amount of confidence going into the interview.  He probably was really nervous.  He probably hadn’t even performed a live show yet.  He didn’t know how big Fireflies was going to get in 2009 and beyond.  (I’m looking at you, Fireflies memes!)  He didn’t know how big the fandom was going to get, let alone get big enough to the point where they could call themselves HootOwls.  He had no idea that he’d get to collaborate with great people like Carly Rae Jepsen, Mark Hoppus, Aloe Blacc, Britt Nicole, Hanson, etc.  He didn’t know that soon he’d be able to quit that dead-end job at Coca-Cola.  He had no idea that Taylor Swift would write a song about meeting him.  Had he known that this was all going to happen, and had he built up a little bit more confidence, he’d go in and begin to stand up for what he believes in, even though the experience will be a new one for him.

And as a side note, I love the choice of words with the phrase “one-man band”.  That line brings back images from Shining Time Station of a one-man band playing a song.  It shows him how talented he is.  He’s a singer, songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, producer, and mixer for all of his own songs.  It’s a great symbol to who he is as both a musician and even as a person.

And I'd say "Hey, there is more to me than meets the eye Let me be who I wanna be" And I'd say "Hey, I'm an oddity and that's alright Let me fly and follow my dreams"

Again, these lines are not about what you think, well, not in the context that you’re thinking of them in.  Here’s a quote from an interview with Adam’s manager:

Early on we sat down with the label and, frankly, butt heads a little bit. They were ready to send him into the studio with big producers and polish him up to try to become this thing that he wasn’t. But we put our foot down and said, “Look, the reason you signed this kid is because it’s working. Whatever it is about him - his music, his interaction with his fans, his brilliance in the online space - these things are connecting with people, and as soon as you change that you lose what’s special about this artist.” To their credit, they really listened and they got it.

To me, the above quote makes it sound like he was too scared to speak up for himself to the label, but what he’s saying here that he’d speak up and say those things himself.  Furthermore, it shows that he knows what he can do and that he’s not afraid to be true to himself.  The line that really speaks to me is “I’m an oddity and that’s alright.”  Maybe it’s just the Christmas season, but it seems like he’s subverting the usual misfit trope here.  Instead of saying “I’m odd, why won’t the world accept me”, he’s essentially saying that he knows he’s a little odd and he’s okay with that.  He’s accepted himself.  I think that’s encouraging to a lot of us, especially myself.

And I'd say "Hey, thanks for the weekend A good time was had by all" And I'd say "Hey, thanks for the weekend I ain't a spin-doctor but thanks for the offer"

To me, this is his way of thanking the label for this great opportunity.  The great weekend experience he sang about in the verses, and that he had a good time.  To me, much like with the word “fireflies” in Back Home with Jake Owen, I think the line definitely is a call out back to his hit with Carly Rae Jepsen, “Good Time” (which, by the way, is on a short list of possible songs I may cover under this Behind the Lyrics series).  However, I don’t think there’s any deep meaning or secret message or correlation between the two pairs of songs other than that shout out.

As to the line “I ain't a spin-doctor but thanks for the offer", I think it has a connection to the phrase, “I ain’t a smooth talker”.  I say that because both smooth talker and spin-doctor have similar definitions:

Smooth Talk:

use flattering language to (someone), especially to persuade them to do something

Spin Doctor:

a spokesperson employed to give a favorable interpretation of events to the media, especially on behalf of a political party.

Both use charming and flattering language to either persuade someone to take a particular course of action (smooth talker) or to present a depiction of events in a positive light (spin-doctor).

In the case of the use of spin-doctor, Adam’s essentially saying he doesn’t want to make it sound like everything’s a certain way with the label, but he’s grateful for the offer that he signed.  This can easily be understood, as this happened in 2008, but it wasn’t announced he had signed to Universal Republic Records until February 1, 2009.  And above all, he’s saying he’s not in the business of making everyone happy, but he’s grateful he can still be himself and continue to follow his dreams.

And "By the way, hey, thanks for the weekend" (cause no one does it like you do) "You know I had a ball" (it was nice to meet you) And I'd say "Hey, thanks for the weekend I ain't a smooth talker but thanks for the Fiji Water"

Again, he re-iterates he’s grateful for this whole experience.  The lines in the backing vocals are particularly interesting.  He’s essentially saying he was blown away by everything the label was offering them.  Like I said above, he saw these people as “the big guys”.  He’s amazed at what these people could do in the music industry, and how they can make someone a star.  He’s saying that no one has the potential to do that quite the way they did with him.  And even if this didn’t skyrocket his career, at the very least it was amazing to meet them.  (Enchanting, if I may say so?)

With regards to the smooth talker thing, I think it’s both referring to his shy, nervous demeanor and that he doesn’t have a way with words to convince them to “let [him] be who [he wants] to be”, as I explained above.  But above all, he’s still glad he had this experience, and this is symbolized in the Fiji Water.  Although, based on some of the remarks that Abbey made about Father Christmas and The Palm, I wouldn’t be surprised if he got a Fiji Water in his interview with the label and that’s why he titled and referred to Fiji Water in the song.

And while not a lyric, I just want to say that I love that synth that comes on right after the chorus.

I laughed when I got back home and I thought "There's no such thing as luck"

To me, there are two interesting points here.  First, this is his way of saying that he still has no clue what’s about to happen, for the better or for the worse, in terms of his music career.  He had no idea if he was going to make it.  But this carries us to my second point.

I think there’s one last tongue-in-cheek reference here, and while I can’t say for sure if this is for sure or not, I think it’s worth mentioning.  In the now-meme-worthy song Fireflies, right after the bridge, when he sings the line “When I’m far too tired to fall asleep”, there’s a brief chuckle in there, almost like an easter egg.  I bring this up because he recorded Fireflies and the rest of Ocean Eyes just like he did with Of June and Maybe I’m Dreaming: in the basement of his parent’s home while he was struggling with insomnia.  He retained complete creative control, just like he did before.  So, in other words, he laughed back at home now, and he still continued to think that he wasn’t going to make it big.  Then, that very song reaches number 1 in many countries, and it amazes him how people who don’t speak English as their main language are now singing the chorus to this song he put together in his parent’s basement.  He fully made it as a musician.  He was able to quit his job at Coca-Cola and pursue his dream of making music full time.  He may not be a star like Bruno Mars, Katy Perry, or Taylor Swift, but he’s still a star in his own right.  He has made it.

Well, that just about does it for today’s Behind the Lyrics post.  I’m still leaving requests turned off for the time being, while I catch up with all of the other requests I promised I would get to.  I can’t promise when I’ll get to it, but it’ll be there in the not-too-distant future.  Until next time, my fellow HootOwls!

[attackthemap]

I’m back!

This month has been great for tackling my backlog of work and getting back on schedule but now I’m ready to get back into comics! Tomorrow I’m going to review my sketches and get all the bases done for the next 4 comics (which might also be the last ones but I’m still on the fence about that. I have some AUs I want to put out there).

Below the cut is some rambling about my month that you don’t have to read if you’re only here for art but I have to stay up late to adjust for my next work schedule so I want to ramble to pass time.

I said I was taking this month to finish writing Slumber City, but I actually didn’t start it until the 19th |D I did however manage to finish most of it before starting platoon and the whole book ended at 72k words, the most I’ve written! It probably won’t ever see the light of day but at least now it’s off my mind.

I don’t know if I mentioned it before or was just super vague about “the job situation”, but now I can tell you all I got a civilian position with the police. I enter reports all day and it’s a hell of a lot more interesting than my last job. Some of the things I’ve come across in reports are: - Way too many people who get in drunken verbal arguments with their partner, call the police, fall asleep before the police get there, then get angry that the police are there. - The guy who is responsible for old people saying “Listening to loud music makes you violent!” - The guy who actually called the police because he was playing an online video game and the other players “weren’t taking it seriously”. - So many people who think they can shoplift at Giant Tiger. FYI, they have loss prevention officers at every store. They see you. - My favorite officer, Constable Thomas. This poor guy. I love getting his reports. The first time I got one it was recorded at 3am and he was obviously very sick, tired, and ready to go home. His report was about an impaired driver. Imagine this in the most tired, sick voice you can imagine: “Cst. Thomas asked the accused for his papers. The accused handed over his driver’s license. Cst. Thomas asked again for the registration and insurance. The accused tried to hand Cst. Thomas a blank piece of paper. Cst. Thomas asked again...” It was so funny, I felt so bad for him. The next report I got from him went like: “Cst. Thomas informed the subject for his reason of being there. The subject told Cst. Thomas to fuck off, then walked into traffic.” Poor guy. He gets the best calls.

Aside from working and finishing Slumber City, this month I also wanted to finish playing Sword Art Online: Hollow Fragment because it’s been sitting around unfinished since 2015. The gameplay is great, it looks pretty good, but the characters are so bad I skipped all the dialog and cutscenes. I knew it was a harem game but I expected it to be better than that. It would have been significantly better without what I call “group talk”, aka every character has to chime in: “Let’s go, Kirito!” “Yeah, let’s go!” “C’mon!” “KIRITO-KUUUUN!” “Oh boy here we go!” “Hey, hold up!” And now because someone can’t get their act together: “Huh?” “What is it?” “What’s wrong?” “Is everything okay?” “KIRITO-KUUUUN!” I made it two floors before holding the L button through every set of dialog.

I also noticed while reviewing my resolutions for the year that I was way behind on finishing my outstanding anime, so I made a list of all of them and realized I really had to start watching some episodes now or I wouldn’t be able to cross that off at the end of the year. I started with Eden of the East, which was very firmly okay. The characters were good, the plot was good, the pacing was bad, and the execution was bad. It’s one of those things where at the end you say “fuck it, I’m going to rewrite it myself, change the character names, and get it published because I can do better”. I don’t regret watching it though. I moved on to Noragami because I was 4 episodes in already, and honestly I can’t say I like it. I watched it dubbed so it’s probably different in Japanese but I found there was way too much screaming from Hiyori and Yukine. Too many info dumps as well. It’s a shame because I like the idea of it and Yato’s character design is really appealing. I won’t be watching the second season.

Moving on, I think I’m going to watch Michiko & Hatchin next because I’ve started that one a long time ago too, which leaves Last Exile and Durarara x2 for last. I’m also going to be catching up on the Welcome to Night Vale episodes as I draw but my goal is only to make progress on those and not finish them so I’m okay with still being really behind in that (I’m on episode 40-something out of 106, last time I checked). I’ve been seeing a lot of Yuri on Ice in my travels around the internet but I’ve tried really hard to not be interested in it because I just know if my mom sees me watching it she’ll start up about Kurt Browning again and I just might ascend to the astral plane if I have to hear about Kurt Browning one more time. Still, I don’t know if any of you have noticed, but I have a thing for angry guy characters and I’m not sure how long I can hold out. I watched some clips tonight and he does seem very angry. I also got this feeling from reading posts in the tag that Victor has a thing about not wearing clothes, and these clips seemed to 100% confirm that. He also seems to have a thing about brutal lectures which makes me like him more because characters innocently inflicting pain on others = yes. So I don’t know. I might start watching this after I finish the other anime.

I think that’s everything. I’ve wasted a good 40 minutes with this and my posture is abysmal. I pulled a muscle in my leg last night so I probably shouldn’t be sitting like this but I guess I’ll find out when I wake up to another slow gradual pain buildup that I can do nothing about except suffer through. Fun times!

[panclownrights]

Get To Know The Blogger (Repost)

1. If you didn't have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time?

Binge watch my current favorite shows and movies. (Currently: Parenthood, Skam, and 13 Reasons Why

2. What is your favorite piece of clothing you own / owned?

Leggings because they’re comfortable as fuck. 

3. What hobby would you pick up if time & money weren't an issue?

Yoga seems fun and I try to be a chilled person. 

4. What does your perfect room look like?

A rustic/vintage style room with a bunch of old cameras and maps and books but then also plants and fairy lights.

5. How often do you play sports?

If I played sports often I would not be on here. 

6. What fictional place would you like to visit?

I want to visit Idris (Shadowhunters).

7. What job would you be terrible at?

I’m terrible at any job that you have to do under pressure (most jobs) so I would be a really bad waitress. 

8. When was the last time you climbed a tree?

I have never climbed a tree. 

9. If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, what would you have a good chance of winning a medal for?

Being able to find out certain information on anyone about anything.

10. What is the most annoying habit that you or other people have?

I am ALWAYS late. I can never be on time for anything. 

11. What job do you think you'd be really good at?

I think I would be good as a retail person or a makeup artist. 

12. What skill would you like to master?

Drumming, guitar, piano, singing, and reading fast. 

13. What would be the most amazing adventure to go on?

A road trip across the US with my friends.

14. If you had unlimited funds to build a house to live on for the rest of your life, what would the finished house look like?

An apartment type place that is an industrial building with old brick and a spiral staircase with a bunch of rustic accessories, located in a city. 

15. What's your favorite drink?

Hot chocolate.

16. What state or country do you never want to go back to?

I have never been there but I never want to go to Idaho.. I don’t know why??

17. What songs do you have completely memorized?

Anything Troye Sivan, 5sos, most One Direction. A bunch of songs.

18. What game or movie universe would you like to live in?

Twilight in Forks, Washington. 

19. What do you consider to be your best find?

Um... I dont know?

20. Are you usually early or late?

Late forever and always.

21. What pets did you have when you were growing up?

Two cats, two hamsters, a bunch of fish, hermit crabs, and a dog. 

22. When people come to you for help, what do they usually need help with?

Mainly any type of advice. Boys usually with girls and girls usually with rumors and gossip. 

23. What takes up too much of your time?

My phone, specifically a website called Quotev. 

24. What do you wish you knew more about?

I wish I knew more about psychology. 

25. What would be your first question after waking up from being frozen for 100 years?

Who the fuck froze me?

26. What are some small things that make your day better?

When an idol of mine posts a new picture or video. Or when a new clip or episode of one of my favorite shows comes out. 

27. Who's your go-to band or artist when you don't know who or what to listen to?

5 Seconds of Summer. 

28. What's the best way to start the day?

Waking up around 9 am, showering, and having a fruit with coffee. 

29. What TV shows do you like?

Skam, Shameless, American Horror Story, Shadowhunters, Scream Queens, 13 Reasons Why, Modern Family, The Fosters, Riverdale, and Parenthood. 

30. What TV channel doesn't exist but really should?

LGBTQ+ channel.

31. Who has impressed you most with what they've accomplished?

Any actors that started at a later age (19-23) and are on successful, popular shows or movies now. 

32. What age do you wish you could stay at permanently?

22 seems pretty great. 

33. What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch?

I refuse to watch most horror movies. 

34. What's your ideal way to spend a weekend?

A successful binge weekend of movies and tv. 

35. What is something that is considered a luxury, but you don't think you could live without?

My iphone. 

36. What is your claim to fame?

I don’t know, acting??

37. What is something you enjoy doing the old-fashioned way?

I enjoy writing letters and reading physical books. 

38. What's your favorite book or movie genre?

Fantasy or realistic - fiction. 

39. How often do you people-watch?

Basically everyday. 

40. What have you only recently formed an opinion about?

On how teenagers in high school need to be kinder towards each other and watch what they say and do that could be hurtful to someone else. 

41. What's the best day of the year?

Halloween.

42. What subject interests you that not many people have heard of?

I’m pretty sure most people have heard of psychology and astronomy. 

43. How do you relax after a long day of work?

Laying in bed and watching Netflix. 

44. What's the best book series or TV series you've ever read or watched?

I have been watching Shadowhunters ever since it aired then watched the movie and now am currently reading the books. 

45. Where is the farthest you've ever been from home?

I went from Florida to Boston without my family one summer. 

46. What's the most heartwarming thing you've ever seen?

I have seen many heartwarming things. 

47. What is the most annoying question people ask you?

Where do you want to go to college? 

48. What could you give a 40-minute presentation on with no preparation?

Either Shadowhunters or Evan Peters. 

49. If you were the dictator on a small island nation, what crazy dictator stuff would you do?

Make them all have some form of sparkly accessory and have any of my favorite shows air on each person’s televisions whenever they are on. 

50. What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives?

They should take a trip alone. 

51. Would you rather go hand gliding or whitewater rafting?

Whitewater rafting. 

52. What's your dream car?

A purple jeep or a Volkswagen van. 

53. What's worth spending more on to get the best?

Foundation always. 

54. What is something a ton of people are obsessed with, but you just don't get?

Actually most trends like the thing on the back of people’s phones or the unicorn frap I do not understand. 

55. What are you most looking forward to in the next 10 years?

Being able to travel. 

56. Where is the most interesting place you've been?

Disney World. 

57. What's something you've been meaning to try but haven't gotten around to it?

Playing the drums and yoga. 

58. What is the best thing that happened to you last week?

I went on vacation.

59. What piece of entertainment do you wish you could erase from your mind, only to experience it for the first time again?

The Malec kiss scene in season 1 episode 12 on Shadowhunters. 

60. If all jobs had the same pay rate and hours, what job would you want to have?

A retail job at Barnes & Noble. 

61. What amazing thing have you done that no one was around to see?

Ace a Biology tests since I suck at science. 

62. How different was your life 1 year ago?

I lived in a different state, went to public school, and had friends. 

63. What quirks do you have?

I rant about my current obsessions, I do not know how to make eye contact, and I dodge away from conversations. 

64. What would you rate 10/10?

My gay ships. 

65. What fad or trend do you think should come back?

I thought the Rainbow Loom was awesome. 

66. What is the most interesting piece of art you've seen?

Shirtless guys.

67. What kind of art do you enjoy most?

I enjoy face paint.

68. What do you hope never changes?

Our freedom of speech. 

69. What city would you most like to live in?

Boston or New York City. 

70. What movie title best describes your life?

The Art of Getting By. (The movie is basically me)

71. Why did you decide to do the work you are doing now?

I am not doing any work. 

72. What's the best way a person can spend their time?

Doing what they are most passionate about and feeling care free about it. 

73. If you suddenly became a master at woodworking, what would you make?

I would make furniture that looked like it was from a fairy tale world

74. Where is the most relaxing place you've ever been?

In a spa.

75. What's the luckiest thing that has ever happened to you?

I won a cute and expensive bag without realizing that’s what I signed up for.

76. Where would you rather be from?

I am from New York and I like being from there.

77. What are some things you've had to unlearn?

I did not have to, but every summer I forget everything I learned that year in math.

78. What do you look forward to in the next 6 months?

I am going on vacation with my cousins. 

79. What website do you visit most often?

Quotev or Instagram.

80. What one thing do you really want but can't afford?

High quality makeup. 

81. Where do you usually go when you have free time?

I go to my bedroom.

82. Where would you spend all your time if you could?

My bedroom. 

83. What's special about the place you grew up?

I have never grown up in one place. I move every 4 years. 

84. What age do you want to live to?

95 seems like a good age.

85. What are you most likely to become famous for?

Makeup or acting. 

86. What are you absolutely determined to do?

To live my life to the fullest and not have regrets on things I did not do. 

87. What is the most impressive thing you know how to do?

How to draw a skull on my face using just eye shadow. 

88. What do you wish you knew more about?

I answered this question earlier on. 

89. What question would you most like to know the answer to?

What is my future going to be?

90. What question can you ask to find out the most about a person?

What are your passions?

91. When was the last time you changed your opinion or belief about something major?

I stopped believing in my religion and the political opinions my family has. 

92. What's the best compliment you've ever received?

You are really interesting to talk to. 

93. As the only human left on earth, what would you do?

Scream as loud as possible. 

94. Who inspires you to be better?

My idols (there are a lot).

95. What do you want your epitaph to be?

She lived a long, full life doing what she loved. 

96. What haven't you grown out of?

Hugging my mom in public. 

97. In what situation or place would you feel most out of place in?

A high school.

98. What's the dumbest thing you've done that actually turned out pretty well?

Throw a party. 

99. If someone wrote a book on an event in your life, what would the book be about?

Nothing at all. I am not interesting. 

100. What's something you will never do again?

Throw a party. 

101. How do you hope you'll change as a person in the future?

I hope to be more confident, daring, and adventurous. 

102. What keeps you up at night?

Things I keep putting off or events that happen the next day. 

103. What's the most surprising self-realization you've had?

That I was a negative person and needed to change for the better. 

104. What is the most illegal thing you've ever done?

Drink underage. Risky, I know. 

105. How do you get in the way of your own success?

I am a big procrastinator. 

106. What are you afraid people see when they look at you?

My body.

107. What is your biggest regret?

Not applying myself more (I’m still working on that).

108. What do you look down on people for?

The way they behave and treat others. 

109. What bridges do you not regret burning?

Toxic or one sided relationships. 

110. What lie do you tell most often?

I’m almost ready.  

111. What would be your spirit animal?

A hedgehog. 

112. What is the best & worst thing about getting older?

Living on your own.

113. What are you most likely very wrong about?

A lot of things. 

114. If you had a personal flag, what would be on it?

A rainbow and glitter.

115. What's happened that changed your view on the world?

How negative or hurtful people can be.

116. What is the biggest lesson you've learned?

That there is no point in being negative about a situation because it will not do anything to fix it. 

117. What is the most immature thing you do?

Wear hair bows.

118. What are you famous for among your friends & family?

Being the outcast. 

119. If your childhood had a smell, what would it be?

The pool. 

120. What one responsibility do you wish you didn't have?

Making money to live even if it is something you do not enjoy. 

121. What are 3 things you want to accomplish before you die?

Travel to all the places I want to visit, being successful in some sort of way, and helping to make a difference somewhere. 

122. What do you want to tell your 10-year-old self?

So far, 10 was back when things were simple so stay there till further notice. 

123. What's the best thing you got from your parents?

Their attitude on doing what makes you happy. 

124. What's the best thing about you?

I am passionate about many things and have big dreams. 

125. What blows your mind?

How people think it is cool to not care about things. 

126. Have you ever saved someone's life?

No. 

127. What are you really good at but embarrassed to be good at?

How easy I can find out information about people. 

128. What would a mirror opposite of you look like?

Black hair, dark skin, brown eyes, tall, skinny. 

129. What are 3 interesting facts about you?

I watch about 5 movies a week, I am homeschooled, I have been to Disney 25 times. 

130. Which of your scars has the best story behind it?

None of my scars have interesting stories. 

131. What's the title of the current chapter in your life?

A work in progress. 

132. What were some of the biggest turning points in your life?

When I went from public school to high school. 

133. What's the hardest lesson you've learned?

It is hard to find genuine people who care about you when you’re young. 

134. What do people think is weird about you?

My obsession with sparkles. 

135. What mistake do you keep making?

Trusting people. 

136. What have you created that you're most proud of?

I rewrote an alternate version of the ending to The Fault In Our Stars. 

137. What do you doubt?

I have a bad habit of doubting my ability to be confident and social. 

138. What are some of your morals?

Be kind, always. Do what you love. Have goals and make dreams. If you try hard enough and work your ass off, you will succeed. You are not getting anywhere with a negative attitude. 

139. What do you want to be remembered for?

Making a difference in somebody’s life. 

140. What do you regret not doing in your childhood years?

Having more of an opinion about things and standing up for myself. 

141. What is your favorite fragrance?

The A&F store. 

142. What do you think your last words will be?

I love you. 

143. Who or what do you take for granted?

The amount of free time I have. 

144. Why would you be annoying as a roommate?

I stay up super late with the lights on and take very long showers. 

145. What is something you're insecure about?

My body. 

146. What's the best & worst piece of advice you've received?

Do what you love is the best. Get a high paying job to make money is the worst. 

147. What irrational fears do you have?

Not knowing what my future is. 

148. What makes a good life?

Living the exact way you want to live with little regrets. 

149. What's the last adventure you went on?

I don’t even know. 

150. What is the most memorable gift you've received?

A ring my aunt gave me that was made from one of her mother’s stones she had on her old jewelry. 

[a-non-sequitur]

Rogue One: Second Viewing

- link to my other Rogue One blabberings -

Watched Rogue One for the second time today on the big screen.  Here are some more thoughts since I’m not inundated by “HOLY SHIT” feelings from experiencing it the first time. There may be some repeat thoughts.

NB, as usual: have only seen the movie and read a small portion of its prequel Catalyst so far. I try to talk about individual characters themselves, but shipping thoughts concerning RebelCaptain (Jyn/Cassian) and SpiritAssassin (Chirrut/Baze) still occur.

Warning: THIS IS REALLY, REALLY LONG. Not exaggerating in any way.

Quick General Thoughts 

I’d seen the movie a little more than a month ago and have swamped myself in fandom, so I thought I wouldn’t have Extreme Emotions from seeing it again. I even thought I’d be bored for some bits.

I was wrong.

It’s a beautiful movie, and I honestly liked every single performance by the actors and actresses. I thought they were all really good or amazing.

By far one of the most intense movies that I’ve seen in general, not just the Star Wars ‘verse.

Lah’mu

There’s a piece of symbolism in some Rogue One book material that talks about how the movie bookends the theme of “Jyn” and “home.” AKA: Jyn starts the movie by having a home, and Jyn ends the movie by rediscovering home. Figuratively, this is shown by Lah’mu with her parents (start) and the Scarif beach with Cassian (end) (or you could argue the entire Rogue One team becoming family, a la Baze’s “little sister”, as “home”).

However, now I can see there’s also a literal interpretation of this: Jyn’s Lah’mu home is next to a beach. And you remember where she dies? A BEACH.

If one of the Stormtroopers was taught even a little bit of forensic science, Jyn would have absolutely been found underneath that damn rock. They live on rich, loamy soil. Anyone heard of footprints or tracks? I guess Death Troopers are too busy learning how to kill people.

Lyra Erso continues to grow in my heart as a hero and wonderful human being, and I am sad and bitter that beyond one or two lines from Galen and Orson (tangentially for the latter), she is never discussed or mentioned post-Lah’mu. Read Catalyst; Lyra is a badass. 

“You will never win.” = Erso Rebels, one for one.

Lyra/Galen4lyfe. They love each other so friggin much (again, read Catalyst for the one-two-three punch in the gut feels (even though I’ve only read a little)).

I wonder what sort of crops the Ersos grew.

Rings of Kafrene

I originally thought Cassian was very blank-faced about killing the informant and any guilt he felt wasn’t expressed except 100% internally or at a later time on his own. Nope, he definitely shows guilt/regret immediately after shooting the guy, even with Stormtroopers converging. Throughout the movie, in fact, he shows a LOT of guilty faces/body language. Not as perfect as a spy as I thought! (at least 100% of the time)

Wobani Prison

FN-2187 is a reference to Leia’s prison cell 2187. At Wobani, cell 4227 is mentioned. They don’t mean Jyn’s cell, but it finally explains to me why one of my favorite fics (Death Trooper One) uses the designation DT-4227. Tricky, tricky, tricky!

Yavin 4

Yooooo, Jyn is amazing at doing a non-reactive, “I won’t tell you shit” face.

Whatever you say about Draven’s duplicity and cutthroat tactics, Mothma’s democratic idealism is unsustainable bullshit. A lot of fics like to uphold her as this Kind Rebellion Paragon Leader vs Draven, but you know what? Saw had a point in separating from the rebellion. I don’t condone his “civilian deaths are unavoidable” tactics, but Mothma’s path is a fruitless endeavor, and she should have been completely aware of that after twenty years of Empire rule.

This is a passionate, immediate response after seeing the movie again. Maybe someone has some meta to calm me down/see Mothma’s side of the story.

Jedha

So many Asians on Jedha! <3333 (now all dead </3333 )

Small funny moment: the scene where Chirrut and Baze come to the rescue, there’s two little old Asian ladies sitting in the corners of the courtyard just chilling around.

I believe Cassian’s feelings for Jyn went from “unwanted charge” to “shit DEVELOPING FEELINGS” sometime between Jyn saving the little girl and Jyn beating the asses of Stormtroopers with her truncheons. I told you guys that Cassian has a Competency kink.

Jyn’s feelings, on the other hand, went from “jailer” to “friendly.” And I think that explains the level of betrayal she expresses to Cassian after Eadu; yeah, she’s pissed that he was planning to kill her father, but she was also pissed that he had lied to her. She had considered him a friend by the time they had arrived there, and she hadn’t had friends for a long time.

I think it says something about Jyn that, even if she is at most amused by K-2SO or at worst annoyed/indifferent to him, she still is the one who jumps in front of his body when Baze points a gun to him. She responds faster than Cassian, who (definitely) considers Kay his best friend. When Jyn is in a team, she is loyal. (I really, really like Jyn, okay.)

Bor Gullet (the tentacle creature) continues to be gross-looking, and even though I admire the subtle acting choices of Bodhi’s character arc by Riz Ahmed from “nervous defector to traumatized pilot to recovering person”, I do wish we got a better understanding of how damaging this creature (nonhuman sentient?) is. (Apparently the book does a good job?)

Again, I desperately desire more background on Saw’s spiral into severe paranoia. At one point did he start thinking that everyone was going to betray him? At one point did he find the Bor Gullet?

We know that the Empire hates non-humans, but do you know what I found really interesting?  The Rebellion actually showcases only a few nonhumans. Do you know which group represents the most non-humans (besides local populations)? Saw’s Partisans.

There’s not supposed to be galactic racism in Star Wars (I don’t know about extended universe materials, so maybe (most likely) racism exists on individual planet cultures). Rather, it’s replaced by speciesism. And I find the fact that the Partisans are heavily made up of non-humans (and the Rebellion not) extremely interesting if you parallel it to American politics on race throughout the centuries. I’m simplifying the issue, but in fights for equality and justice, who are the people associated with violent protest and riots by society?  Who often feel and are sidelined by mainstream movements?

Still curious at what point Saw separated from the Rebellion. I assume post-Lah’mu, just because Galen seems under the impression that Saw is still in contact with the Rebellion. 

Saw says outright that Jyn was his best fighter. SO MANY RADICAL!JYN FEELINGS. 

and this is why I can’t really support Cassian’s side of the argument after Eadu - Jyn had been involved in the Fight for a very long time. When she says at her interrogation that she “didn’t have the luxury of political opinions,” she has a good reason in saying that! She was never allowed to have a choice: she was born in a Separatist prison, raised by the Empire, ran away from an Empire, and then absorbed into a radical Rebellion cell. It isn’t until Saw abandons her that she makes a choice: the Empire and the Rebellion both hurt her deeply. These weren’t minor hits against her; they performed acts that damaged the core of her soul and transformed her personality. Why does she have any obligation to support either in any way?

Even if you think that abandoning the Fight was a very selfish thing to do, I think it would be incorrect to say that it was an unfounded decision on her part.

Galen mentioning Lyra (;_______;)

I loved all the performances, but Forest Whitaker’s is actually my favorite. Just, wow. (And Jyn’s heartbroken face when Saw refused to leave with her: :( I mean, considering his broken body, no way would he have been able to get out of the mountain, no less to the ship, and he absolutely knew that.)

The destruction of Jedha City was awe-inspiring, in the original etymology of the word (fear, terror). Alderaan’s destruction is sad, but it’s distant - a sphere blows up. The detail of Jedha City’s annihiliation... even on-the-ground videos of nuclear bomb testing and Hiroshima/Nagasaki don’t strike as much fear into my heart (please don’t attack me).

Baze’s FACE when the City is destroyed. It’s SO HEARTWRENCHING. Like, you can see his non-belief in the Force get even worse after the destruction.

Krennic’s “It’s beautiful” brought horrified shivers. I can’t find the tumblr post anymore, but the user talked about the importance of art in injustice (or something like that).

Eadu

All Cassian had to do was snipe Krennic while on that ledge instead of angsting over Erso, and the ending of Rogue One would probably have been less soul-destroying.

I do not understand how geography and the passage of time occurs in some of these scenes. Between Jyn being able to cross the valley and climb up that ladder in the period of Orson’s and Galen’s conversation, Cassian getting to Jyn after the platform is bombed, and Jyn and Cassian crossing back to the other side in no time at all, I assume Einstein’s relativity is involved.

I’m trying to decide whether K-2 revealing that Cassian’s rifle was in a sniper configuration was because (a) K-2 has been described as basically being a child and so he doesn’t even think about it, (b) K-2 didn’t know about Draven’s extra orders to Cassian, so he didn’t know it was supposed to be a secret, or (c) K-2 knows that Cassian would really, really regret assassinating Galen (moreso than anything else he did). My strongest option is (b).

We have to give Draven credit: he only sent the Alliance ships because he thought Cassian was probably dead and Galen still needed to be killed. As soon as he heard Rebels were on the platform, he tried to call off the squadron (I mean, if he had heard it was Jyn and not Cassian, he probably wouldn’t have cared, but still).

I knew beforehand that Chirrut and Baze were married, but holy shit are Chirrut and Baze married. Baze’s self-suffering and resigned sigh after the “I have you” quote!

Little detail I liked: Chirrut puffing air into his hand before shooting with the Bow of Death. Combination of “Gimme luck, Force!” and “Gotta warm up my hands before kicking ass.”

Chirrut is definitely Force-sensitive (I have Headcanons about his pre-movie arc), but there’s no way that Baze isn’t even a teeny-tiny little bit Force-sensitive, too. There’s no way a sharpshooter can be THAT accurate from THAT distance THAT accurately in EVERY battle (every single shot hits someone or some ship).

I’m impressed that the movie did not try to beautify death. Galen died in a super awkward position, and I love the realism of it (even if there was a lot less blood than there should have been).

By the end of the scene, Krennic visually confirms to me that the Galen/Krennic ship is actually a completely one-sided infatuation (seriously, read the book. Galen is laughably blase about the dude).

“You willl never win.” = Erso Rebels, two for two.

Lyra/Galen4lyfe

Some fandoms I can ship characters with multiple people. 

Rogue One is not one of those fandoms.

Jyn had, like, a 2% chance of actually being alive when the platform was bombed, and Cassian still went after her. He’s got it SO BAD. Like, this is the dude who killed his informant ASAP and who K-2SO was certain enough about that he said “we’ll be leaving without you” re:Chirrut & Baze leaving the ship ten minutes ago in the movie. 

Chirrut grabbing Jyn’s hand before the Argument gives me sad feels because it makes me wish that the Jyn+Chirrut+Baze adopted family vibes could have been explored more.

As I said earlier, I don’t think the claims Cassian made against Jyn in their argument had a lot of merit (and I think Jyn knows that, too). But Jyn definitely understands Cassian a lot better after he describes his past, and that’s why she doesn’t dislike/hate him by the time they arrive on Yavin 4. She’s definitely angry and betrayed about his actions/lies, but she now understands why he did them. And I think that’s when she really decided that he was a friend (+ probable realization that this was the second time he had come back for her).

And even though Cassian already feels guilty about almost assassinating Galen, I think his defensive justification took a serious, serious, serious blow not because of Jyn’s words (though that did have an affect), but from the Absolute Overwhelming Disapproval and Disappointment from all the humans on the ship. 

Baze is actually really, really hilarious? His tired collapse against the ship’s closed landing platform post-Argument made me burst into inappropriate giggles.

Mustafar

Darth Vader is terrifying.

I wonder if they hired an actual amputee for the reveal of Vader in that cylinder? Or if it’s CGI.

I’ve never really understood the eye-rolls over his “don’t choke on your aspirations” pun. I thought it was a terrifying addition and very apropos . (Though, if you’re familiar with medical terminology, you’d probably get a giggle from it.)

Krennic gets more and more pathetic every scene.

Yavin 4

Now, I know I talked all about the POC-nonhuman parallels above, but I do want to applaud this movie for its POC representation. The Empire, of course, has always been White As White Can Be, but the modern decision to make the Rebels so racially diverse? And to specifically have the Council be so racially diverse? (look at it! I think only Mothma and one other human was white. The rest of the humans were nonwhite!) That was a calculated decision to comment on today’s political climate.  Think about it: the leaders of the Rebellion were mainly POC. Yes, they unfortunately did not get as much screentime or lines as Mothma and Draven, but what a wonderful step still.

A council that can only make decisions based on unanimous agreement is a terrible idea with that many people.

Cassian showing up with an entire crew of people = moment Jyn DEFINITELY develops Feelings for him.

This gif is always necessary to post:

Cassian has a lot of sway/respect from the people he was able to recruit, but I’m 100% certain that he basically sang Jyn’s praises during the recruitment process. This is the reason they were so okay with her being the mission leader.

STILL ANNOYED ABOUT THE ZERO WOMEN IN THE ROGUE REBEL GROUP.

The trip to Yavin 4 to Scarif really, really highlights the fact that the entirety of the Rogue One family looks towards Jyn as their leader. Yeah, her speech to the group (”Saw always said carrying a stick...”) was, eh, pretty weak compared to Cassian’s (”Make ten men feel like a hundred!”) (Jyn’s not a great public speaker, ok?), but Cassian constantly defers to her. Speech time? You go first, Jyn. Is it time to blow up the mines? Tell me, Jyn. They ain’t co-leaders, and Cassian’s not a shadow leader. Jyn leads, Cassian is her right hand, and everyone else are her believers. (Remember that at Eadu, Chirrut outright states that Chirrut “follows her,” and I’m already forgetting the exact scenes, but I remember having the impression that Bodhi seemed to constantly look towards her (no surprise considering she’s related to Galen). And Baze’s “little sister”! (why no 500+ hours of these people being family. why.))

The side-eye Jyn gives Bodhi when he decides to call their group “Rogue” is still my favorite funniest moment.

Cassian and K-2SO are my favorite friendship in the crew, but I have to admit that K-2 and Bodhi would have definitely developed a pretty funny bromance if they had survived.

Possible RebelCaptain Kiss Moment 1: on the trip to Scarif

Scarif

Sidenote: this review is so friggin’ long, I’m already forgetting the things I want to say.

Seriously, why didn’t Cassian shoot Krennic on Eadu. WHYYYY

The grabber thing that picks out the data files? Reminds me of the claw game in arcades. I would have completely failed this mission purely because of that.

I didn’t realize this the first time, but Admiral Raddus had left even before the Alliance got news that Rogue One had landed. Raddus just up and went “EH FUCK THE COUNCIL LET’S DO THIS” and he had an ENTIRE NAVY follow him despite the very public refusal by the Council. Standing ovation for this dude.

FEMALE PILOTS!!! SO MANY FEMALE PILOTS!!!

Okay, it’s time for me to sing the praises of Bodhi Rook and Riz Ahmed:

Riz Ahmed deserves all the acting awards. Whitaker is still my fave RO performance, but Ahmed is second. It’s such a subtle transition but WOW. 

On Jedha, we meet non-traumatized Bodhi. A little stammery, but he’s being pushed around by the Partisans and no one is listening to him. I’d stammer, too. He’s panicking re:plans, but there’s still steel in him though, a type of confidence.

Then we meet post-tortured Bodhi, and he’s a discombobulated, disjointed, confused mess of a human being. Within the prison cell to his escape outside the mountain, he shows someone whose reaction time is fifty times slower than a non-tortured human being. His dazed look and delayed movements before Cassian pulls him towards the ship is perfect.

Eadu: he’s a nervous wreck. He can’t stop stuttering, even when he’s trying to guide K-2 and Cassian to fly through the rainstorm. He can’t look people in the eye.  

To Scarif: still nervous, but becoming more forward.

Scarif: When Cassian tells Bodhi to find a way to communicate beyond the shield: NO FUCKING STUTTER. HE ORDERS THOSE MEN AROUND AS IF HE’S BEEN ORDERING PEOPLE FOR YEARS. REMEMBER THAT HE’S A FUCKING CARGO PILOT. His voice is so firm, so direct, that none of the soldiers hesitate. When Bodhi makes the run to the shuttle with the cable, there’s a cut to a soldier watching him, and it’s after seeing Bodhi run that the soldier stands up again to fire at the Stormtroopers. I think this soldier is also the one that first decides to run to the master switch, too? (Not sure about that one.) 

And Bodhi basically orders Admiral Raddus to do shit. An Admiral!

BODHI WILL SAVE HIS FRIENDS. HE WILL NOT DISAPPOINT HIS FRIENDS.

BODHI’S LAST WORDS ARE “THIS IS FOR YOU, GALEN.” 

!!!! my heart

“THIS IS FOR YOU, GALEN.” 

IF I WERE TO MULTISHIP A RO CHARACTER, IT’D BE GALEN/BODHI.

I just... I love Bodhi’s character arc so mUCh????11!!? And Riz Ahmed was amazing portraying it????

Melshi seems pretty damn cool. Too bad we didn’t hear more from him.

Baze looks SO BETRAYED when his cannon didn’t take down the AT-AT unit.

Baze and Chirrut at Chirrut’s death was so painful and heartbreaking to rewatch. I like to think that the only reason Chirrut didn’t cup Baze’s face in that moment was because he lost the strength to lift his arm higher and that’s why they just held hands. And the only reason Baze didn’t kiss Chirrut’s hand is because of movie industry homophobia :))))) Also, I realized that Chirrut was hoping/thinking Baze would survive because he says, “Look for me in the Force, and you’ll find me.” :(((

BAZE TURNING HIS GAZE BACK TO CHIRRUT’S BODY WHEN THE GRENADE LANDS BROKE ME EVEN MORE THAN HIS RECITAL OF CHIRRUT’S PRAYER. I could almost hear the “I’ll be with you soon, love,” voice-over.

MY HEART

“Climb! Climb!”

MY HEART

Possible RebelCaptain Kiss Moment No. 2: right before they jump onto the center tower.

Jyn and Cassian must have arms of steel, I’m just saying. If the claw thing didn’t trip me up, I’d fail the mission purely because I couldn’t climb more than one row.

Trying to figure out how many stories Cassian fell down. Fics keep saying really high numbers (like 8 or 12), but it didn’t seem like that? Though that just might be because we were watching it from a higher perspective. (I’m not implying Cassian wasn’t severely injured. I cringed every time he struck a beam. I was just wondering how long the fall was.)

If Cassian shooting Krennic on Eadu would have probably changed RO’s ending, do you want to know what would have completely changed the entire original trilogy? SOMEONE SHOOtinG THE FUCDKING SATELLITE DISH. HOW DID NO ONE HIT THAT EVEN BY ACCIDENT.

“You lose.” = completion of “You will never win.” = Erso Rebels, three for three.

So, since we’re nearing the end, I’d like to quickly talk about Descent/Climb (though Fall/Climb is a more catchy term, if less accurate).

If “abandonment/returning” was one of Jyn’s themes, “climb/descent” is another one.

She “falls” every time Krennic is near her: (1) Lah’mu: she descends the ladder into the hideout; (2) Eadu: she nearly falls off the platform after it’s bombed; (3) Scarif: not Jyn, but Cassian-Jyn are basically inseparable by now anyways: Cassian falls at the Citadel; (4) Scarif: Jyn falls when trying to get back to the transmission tower.

She climbs: (1) Lah’mu: towards Saw (unseen); (2): Eadu: to get to her father; (3) Scarif: to get the plans.

Ok, honestly I have no idea/don’t have the energy to figure out what this actually means, but Jyn went up and down too often for it to not have some sort of importance.

Speaking of themes: from Jyn’s perspective, the entire movie is basically a mirror of her life:

Home on Lah’mu.

Lyra abandons her.

Jyn sees Krennic. Lyra shoots him in the shoulder.

Lyra dies.

Galen “abandons” her.

Saw abandons her.

Jedha: Jyn reunites with Saw (and sees that she’s loved). [Cassian comes back for her x1]

Hologram/Eadu: Jyn reunites with her father (and see’s that she’s loved). [Cassian comes back for her x2] 

Scarif: Jyn thinks Cassian is dead after his fall.

Jyn sees Krennic. Cassian shoots him in the shoulder.

Cassian comes back for her x3.

Home with Cassian/the beach.

Possible RebelCaptain Kiss Moment 3: Side of the head kiss after Cassian stops Jyn from murdering Krennic.

Possible RebelCaptain Kiss Moment 4: Elevator.

Possible RebelCaptain Kiss Moment 5: Beach.

Don’t know the proper term for it, but the quickly-gradual white-out of the screen as Jyn and Cassian are being burnt to a crisp is one of the most visually stunning moments in the film.

MY HEART.

Ships jumping out of hyperspace: cool.

Star Destroyer slamming into Star Destroyer and hitting that Ring Thing: cooler.

Star Destroyer jumping out of hyperspace and Rebel fleet crashing into it while trying to escape: coolest.

Another detail: the ship that had engaged the Star Destroyer and pushed it into the other one was a suicide run. I mean, I’m sure all the fleet knew that this mission was probably a suicide mission, but that ship in particular knew that what they were about to do was a kamikaze move. Serious bravery.

Darth Vader is fucking terrifying.

CGI Princess Leia would have been less uncanny valley if her nose and her eyes weren’t so far apart vertically.

So, the mission plans were on this big cassette thing. And then they were downloaded onto this tiny disc thing. Does the Alliance have better data storage equipment? Or is it like downloading the jpeg version of a CAD file? These are the important questions, people.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

 movie is still amazing and emotionally traumatizing.

god knows how long i’ll be in this fandom. i’m guessing a long, long time. it will never leave my heart even if i visit another one.

every single rogue one family death made me tear up in the theater.

this is fucking long, jesus, i should be spending my time doing other things, like reading Catalyst.

- link to my other Rogue One blabberings -

[agentxthirteen]

Thinking Liberally Newsletter 1/23/17

Party like it's 1984:

If you have twitter, check whom you follow. Some people were following Trump, Melania, Pence, or Spicer without their knowledge. Twitter claimed it was a bug from when Obama moved to @BarackObama, but there are reports that people who never followed the @POTUS, @FLOTUS, etc accounts are now following them. (By the way, Obama's tweets as president are archived at @POTUS44.)

Did you notice how Trump got an unusual amount of applause at his first press conference? The press attested that Trump had employees in the wings to clap and laugh at his jokes. The same thing happened when he gave a speech at the CIA - in front of the Memorial Wall, no less. For which Trump is drawing a bit of fire. BTW, correlation is not causation, but morale at the CIA is allegedly at an all-time low. Oh, and look. Here's an article confirming that Trump brought a cheering section to his speech, and that relations between Trump and US intelligence agencies are now worse than before.

Also, beware: When the National Parks Service tweeted comparative photos of Trump and Obama's inaugurations, they were barred from tweeting again - even if it was only about weather updates.

After obvious lies - or, as Kellyanne Conway says, "alternate facts" - one quote to keep in mind is from George Orwell: "The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command." (By the way, Sean Spicer is getting flack from other press secretaries - including Hillary Clinton's press secretary, Brian Fallon. Of course, the press knows the Spicer is a liar and has been for a long time.) Some have noted that the administration is aware that everyone knows they're lying - their constant lies are a way of saying they don't care. The best way to combat it? Keep demanding the truth - if nothing else, they'll have to waste time lying or convincing people that no one cares about the lies. I particularly love this tweet pointing out one of the lies. Keep it up, media!

Oh, and some people have noticed that Facebook posts critical of Trump have had privacy settings changed- these people have noticed that their posts can now only be seen by themselves.

The press was banned from Trump's DC hotel during the inauguration week.

Now might be a good time to point out you can download the Labor Department's Women's Bureau's resources in case they disappear in the future.

The Trumps evidently ignore the press and the press's requests for comments until it's time for a retraction.

Companies are already careful of what announcements they make, even recycling old press releases, to avoid pissing off the Don.

Links to inform and terrify:

As you can imagine, it's been an INCREDIBLY busy week for news. First, the terrifying stuff:

Day One of Trump's administration, he:

Signed an executive order to "ease the burdens of Obamacare." Also in the article: He signed paperwork to elevate James Mattis and John Kelly to his defense secretary and homeland security secretary, respectively.

Reversed Obama's mortgage fee cuts, leading to this bit of regret from a Trump supporter...

Trump caused a lot of concern when he scrubbed the info on the White House site, including policies to on healthcare, civil rights, and LGBTQ sections. This is normal for administrations. Two things caused concern when material appeared on the site again: the promotions for Melania's jewelry line and Trump's "America First" action plan.

Stated, through his administration, that environmental regulations should be cut back to increase American wages. Pretty sure it 1) doesn't work like that, and 2) those figures he used to justify getting rid of regulations on clean water, etc, are wrong. The Atlantic actually focused on whether or not regulations kill jobs in this piece.

A new budget proposes no funding whatsoever for National Endowment for the Arts and National Endowment for the Humanities and ending federal appropriations for the Corporation of Private Broadcasting. There's still a chance Trump won't see it through, but so far, he's shown a higher regard for the Heritage Foundation's opinion than the American people's. And unfortunately, he's using the Heritage Foundation's dream budget as a template.

He also may cut funding to Violence Against Women Programs, based on that same Heritage Foundation dream template. This seems like a good idea to point out that Trump has nominated more men accused of sexual assault to his cabinet than he has women.

In terrifying things that you may regret watching, here's Trump blowing a kiss to FBI Director James Comey. You may remember that Comey is supposed to be investigating Trump. He was much more enthusiastic about investigating the Clintons - and has been since 2001. Maybe if Bill had blown him a kiss...

The lawsuits against Trump begin. One from Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) to stop Trump from profiting from foreign businesses, and another from the ACLU.

After trying to help boost Trump's support among black voters, Kanye West is deemed not "traditionally American" enough to perform at the inauguration.

We have Betsy Devos's ethics report, and the vote to confirm her has been postponed. Rex Tillerson, though, is inching closer, so get your activists hats on!

Yeah, Trump's inaugural cake was a copy of Obama's. On purpose!

Only 28 of 690 appointments nominated so far. The thought of what will happen this week is terrifying. And, that's only the appointments. As for everyone else... Actually, the outgoing administration has no idea if anyone in the Trump administration has even read the briefing reports Obama's crew put together.

Trump's DOJ has determined that hiring his son-in-law is not against anti-nepotism laws.

Anti-vaxxer Dr. Andy Wakefield attended Trump's inaugural ball. I'm afraid to offer the odd on him soon being offered a cabinet position...

That inaugural speech that Trump wrote himself (in the Mar-A-Lago hallway, no less)? Yeah, not so much. (Also, sharpies? Really? After the unmarked filing folders at the press conference, I can safely say this administration has a prop problem.) And in case you were curious where the phrase "America First" came from and why it was so predominant, here. Warning for if you don't like Nazis and the KKK, that link has a lot about them. Given who wrote the speech, I suppose that goes without saying. (And no, Donald Trump isn't writing the new @POTUS tweets - those are from a "former" fake news promoter.)

The administration is so organized that Corey Lewandowski had trouble getting into the inauguration.

The inauguration parade could have been so much worse. The sparsely-attended event could have included military tanks. (My favorite review of the parade: "It's almost like a funeral.")

Trump has yet to resign from his businesses.

Trump's political career got started with the birther lie. Bill Moyers and four historians discuss the reasoning behind the lie and how it was allowed to fester.

Meet Norman Vincent Peale, Trump's spiritual guide behind Trump's self-confidence. (Or as some could argue, delusion. If only he hadn't won!)

Say hello to Steve Mnuchin, the man who "forgot" to disclose $100 million in assets. He might soon be our Treasury Secretary! Speaking of people Trump is working with, meet Stephen Miller, one of the people helping write Trump's speeches. And we can't forget John Gore, who defended discriminatory laws in North Carolina. He's on his way to the Civil Rights Division at the Department of Justice!

DC contractors for Trump's DC hotel say they're owed millions.

Donald Trump has a Secretary of Agriculture in mind. Surprise, he's an old white guy, who is also Georgia's first Republican governor since Reconstruction. Sonny Purdue! You might remember him from the time he led a prayer on the Capitol steps for rain. (Is this a good time to point out it started raining as soon as Trump began his inaugural speech? No? Warning: autoplay in the link.) 

The Endangered Species Act is also at risk.

This Washington Post article about Trump and accessibility is an interesting read.

Some notes on what mammograms and IUDs would cost in each state if we lose the ACA.

And now, some high notes:

Not only is Trump the least popular incoming president we've had in living memory, but protesting him is now one of the most popular things to do! It wasn't a local phenomenon, either - in addition to at least 633 cities in the US (the folks in Mentone, AL were not included in that number), there were Women's March protests all over the world. Crowd scientists report that there were three times as many people attending protests than Trump's inauguration, and that was just in DC! (The viewing numbers for the inauguration are in, and Trump also got lower ratings than Obama, Reagan, and Jimmy Carter. He is, naturally, upset about this and thinks everyone - i.e., the media - is lying.)

Some signs from marches (warning: autoplay, so don't watch at work)

Some pictures from marches around the world - including Antarctica!

Video of march from DC rooftop (warning: video!)

More photos from around the world - gorgeous!

More photos from around the world. You really get the two impressions from this set - 1) Trump is unpopular, if not outright hated, worldwide, and 2) Bush's place in history has officially improved.

Carrie Fisher's legacy lives on! (The link includes a speech by Trump you'll WANT to see!)

Charlie Brotman might not have kept his job as the inaugural announcer thanks to the 45th president, but he certainly had plans on the 21st!

READ. THIS.

The Women's March is still getting final numbers in, but is already one of the largest protests in US history!

A lot of media outlets have other things to focus on, so I'd like to draw your attention to the Sikhs handing out water bottles and food at the protests.

Fan of the march? They already have some action topics for Monday. Trump will likely try to avoid seeing pictures, but Congress can't ignore so many demands to save ACA and stop Jeff Sessions! (I don't think us leaving the UN is a viable threat right now, but the first two definitely are!)

Yes, the marches got noticed - by the media, at least.

Oh, by the way - there was an anti-gay protest outside Comet Ping Pong - they were soon drowned out by pro-LGBTQ protesters! Anti-protests included a dance party! (Dance party protests seem to be popular at the moment, actually...)

No arrests, despite millions of protesters across the nation!

Someone who allegedly knew Richard Spencer in school shares some character insight that might cheer you up!

Trump's transition to settling in at the @POTUS account is sad - if you're a fan of his, at least. Everyone else, have fun reading about it!

Despite Trump and Kellyanne insisting that no one cares about Trump's taxes, the official White House petition for Trump to release his tax returns has surpassed the threshold required for an official response!

There's already a creature named after Donald Trump. Neopalpa donaldtrumpi has a golden head and small genetalia.

Every book Obama recommended during his Presidency. And speaking of Obama, he's not done.

In conclusion, Edmund Burke once said, "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." This country and its citizens' allies around the world have shown that they're going to do something. The American people have always had a stubborn streak when it came to being told what to do, and at this point in time, we have more people interested in resistance than we ever had. Even in the American Revolution, only roughly a third of the country supported independence. Only around 20% of the population voted for Trump, and many of those voters are coming to regret it as he keeps up his Trumpness.

So take heart. Yes, there's a long, hard, bumpy road ahead of us, but we are not walking it alone, and we won't stop walking until we get our country back. As others have noted, it isn't enough just to protest Trump, we must defy him. At least we know we won't be doing it alone.

[datingadviceonreddit]

I have good success in meeting women both online and IRL, and I wanted to pass along a few personal lessons to any guys that care to take note. Feel free to apply as you like and discard anything that you don’t care for.About me: I’m 40, male, divorced. Not overly attractive but also not unattractive. I’d rate myself between 6/10 and 8/10 depending on the day. I’m not terribly tall (5’10), not terribly athletic, and not physically built. I don’t have a “dad bod” but I’m also not defined. I think I’m squarely in the “pleasantly average” range in the looks department - I don't turn heads when I walk into a room. I don’t frequent bars or hotspots that younger people might go to meet people, I tend to meet women while I’m walking my dog, at the grocery store, the bank, on the street car, bookstores, coffee shops, monuments and museums, art shows, etc. I’m moderately successful in my career. I’m emotionally aware, share my feelings, and a good communicator. I'm well read and able to converse about a wide variety of topics. I’m confident in my sexual skills but not an asshole about it - and by the way, I don’t put out a sexual vibe until I’m already flirting with a lady. In my experience, trying to put out a sexual vibe comes across as desperate and creepy.My goal in meeting women is to be kind, be engaging, be interesting, and interested. If I completely strike out in the romance department and it turns out she’s married, a lesbian, or just not interested, I want her to walk away feeling like she had a polite little interaction with a nice man. If we become acquaintances that’s better, friendship is even better, and love would be amazing. But all of those start with me being kind, engaging, interesting, and interested.1. Confidence. Confidence comes from a mindset that is both pragmatic and optimistic. For example: When I’m working up the courage to talk to a woman, I’ll remind myself that she’s already NOT dating me, so the worst that can happen is that she continues to not date me. However if I don’t strike up a conversation with her, I’ll probably regret not taking the chance. That’s being pragmatic. The optimistic side is me telling myself to believe in the “what if?” - maybe we’ll get along wonderfully, maybe she’ll be into me, maybe I’ll make her laugh, maybe it’ll lead to a single date or maybe more? A positive mindset is a matter of positive self-talk. If it doesn’t work out, don’t be immature about it. Be pleasant, and tell yourself that it’s a lesson learned. You’re not going to make solid contact with every strike, so step out of the batters box for a moment, shake it off, and step up for the next pitch. But when it does work, it builds your confidence tremendously! Helpful tip: confidence is not cockiness. Cockiness = "you're lucky to be talking to me", Confidence = "I believe in myself enough to be talking to you."2. Humor. I’m a witty person, and I am quick with a joke or a quip to make people smile and start a connection. This is tricky to learn if you’re not naturally funny or social engaging, but my advice to you would be to invest in a book or two, and watch some youtube videos on how to engage verbally and non verbally with strangers. Before I talk to a woman I have something in mind I’m going to say, and 100% of the time it’s funny. Recently I met a wonderful lady while we were both trying to find ripe pineapples at the market and I said “You have to smell them on the top of the head. It’s the same way you can tell if your middle schooler needs a shower, but less angsty” and she chuckled. Next thing you know we went out for coffee and had a nice time. Humor tip: if you started with a joke, come back to it later in the conversation “…very similar to choosing a pineapple!”3. Communication/Conversational Skills. If you start with humor, you have to be able to follow up with conversation. Topics that are always easy are nearby, observational, and open ended. Example: “Excuse my dog, he works for the parks department and he’s smelling for dangerous vampire squirrels. There’s been an outbreak of vampire squirrels in this area, so keep your garlic handy. Do you have a dog?” Pet people LOVE to talk about their pets. So that’s an easy trail to go down. Conversation tip: be watching for cues to pick up if they are interested in you. Cues are body positioning (open to you means they are engaged, turning away or closed off means they are disengaging) verbal engagement (more than yes or nor answers, instigating more than just responding) and eye contact. If a woman gives me direct eye contact, turns to me, smiles, and gives full responses to my conversation starter, I feel the freedom to continue. If I sense disengagement, I simple allow the conversation to end and don’t force it. Sometimes she isn’t a natural conversationalist, and isn’t sending a clear signal, if that’s the case I will casually reengage and gauge her response. Conversation tip: Open ended questions lead to more conversation, such as “what do you think is the best food (our city) has to offer? what’s some of your favorite places that you recommend to people?” There is an endless supply of resources online on how to improve your communication and conversation skills. Take advantage of the and improve yourself in that area.4. Take Care of Yourself. Dude. You don’t have to look like Tom Brady. Just take care of yourself. Learn how to dress for your body type (I could write a much longer post on how guys can dress better, but start following men's fashion instagram accounts and read some blogs) You’d be AMAZED how many women compliment me on my style. Keep a good haircut (find a barber you trust and stick with him) always smell nice, shower regularly, make sure your clothes fit well (seriously, spend the money to get your clothes tailored), wear good shoes and a good belt, and walk with confidence. Fashion tip: You don't have to wear high-end clothing. You can shop at target or second hand stores, as long as you put together outfits well and your clothes fit like they are supposed to. Most of my clothing comes from department stores with my accessories coming from nicer places. Fitness tip: You don’t have to be ripped to be attractive, in fact, studies have shown that most women aren’t attracted to muscle bound guys. If you need to lose some weight, work on it - but don’t let it hold you back from working on the other things while you improve that area. EVERY guy benefits from 20 minutes of physical exercise 3-4x a week. Simple exercises at home, do some yoga videos, a short jog, play soccer, whatever. It builds your self confidence and helps in you literally every area of your life.5. Make the Ask. This is the hard part for a lot of guys, and takes the most courage - even more than the initial conversation starter. For me, my rule is that I don’t ask to get contact information unless I’m pretty confident that she’s going to say yes (see #3 above) and then I boldly go for it - “I’d love to get to know you socially, can I get your number and/or social media contact information?” Now this is where I’m pretty old school, I have cards that are just for social interaction, not business. They are monogramed with initials on the front, and the back is just my name and number, nothing else. If I send a lady a drink or take care of her bill, I will send her one of my cards along with it. This is the least direct way to invite conversation, and therefore the “safest” as far as rejection goes, but also how’s the lowest rate of results. It doesn’t often work for me, so I only do it in limited situations. The two most recent examples are that I sent a drink to a lady who was obviously at a bar with friends who were surrounding her, and I don’t like to be rude and inject myself. She did not respond. The other example was a mom at a restaurant with her kids - obviously I’m not going to hit on a lady with her kids next to her, so I paid for their meal and sent my card over and wrote on it “I’d love to text you if you’d like!” and we are now good friends.Believe in yourself! You’ve got a lot to offer, and there’s women who would be better having you in their lives! via /r/dating_advice

[theconservativebrief]

I love celebrities and I love spending my money in inadvisable ways (I’ll never own a house regardless!), but I think the only thing I have actually purchased at the direct suggestion of a famous person is a pair of $80 Adidas Superstar sneakers.

These are the shoes Lorde wore in her “Green Light” music video and the Vevo-sponsored video for the choral arrangement of “Hard Feelings/Loveless,” and on many other occasions, including when she had the flu at the 2017 VMAs and appeared totally unhinged.

Do I regret this? Obviously not. It’s a classic, reliable sneaker, and Lorde is so beautiful and talented. I bought another pair after the first one got ruined by New York City’s hellish streets.

But it did make me wonder about a question many brands would like a clear answer to: Will people buy things just because celebrities tell them to? More importantly, will they do it more than once? Basically: When Lorde puts on a pair of Superstars, she’s not doing it for money. But would it be worth it for Adidas if she did?

Lorde performing at the 2017 VMAs in Adidas Superstars. Kevin Winter/Getty Images

This is trickier to answer than it seems on the surface. The status quo would say “yes”: Rappers are still getting paid to talk about Sprite, and thin people are still getting paid to talk about flat tummy tea. But it’s actually fairly opaque; a quick search turns up dozens and dozens of marketing and advertising executives and strategists asking, “Does influencer marketing actually work?”

We know that Coach has paid Selena Gomez $10 million and seen results as vague as “a significant spike in engagement and followers,” and we also know that brands are increasingly turning away from famous people and toward the far cheaper resource of thousands of normal people to do their outreach for them.

So what does the world of celebrity-influenced spending look like on the micro level? What are normal people — the people I work with, live with, or occasionally tweet at — spending their money on, and who told them to? I need to know! To that end, I asked them all the same question: What’s the silliest thing you’ve ever bought because of a celebrity?

Off the top, what I find interesting is that nearly every person who responded to my request started their admission with, “Not sure if this counts,” as if I were going to reply, “Actually no it doesn’t count; what you did is rational and smart not like all the other idiots I’ve been talking to.”

Sorry, friends! Not the case. If you bought something for no other reason than that a celebrity talked about it or wore or used it or was affiliated with it, it counts.

Here are the most ridiculous celebrity-inspired purchases my friends, colleagues, and Twitter acquaintances have ever made, from $3 bottles of juice to $95 cologne to a five-digit government loan.

Justin Bieber in Germany in 2012, in a sweatshirt. Just Jared

“Doing Real Stuff Sucks” sweatshirt, Justin Bieber

In 2012, while employed at a teen magazine, I bought this sweatshirt because Justin Bieber was photographed wearing it. The typography was good! The message was funny! (In retrospect, though, was it? Chalk it up to post-grad angst.) After some internet research, I figured out it was made by a Polish company, to which I promptly paid 169 Polish zlotys ($50) for a version with white lettering. The fit was weird, but I wore it anyway.

—Julia Rubin, editor at The Goods by Vox

Dior’s Sauvage cologne ad campaign featuring Johnny Depp. Dior

Dior Sauvage cologne, Johnny Depp

Two years ago, I was Christmas shopping for my dad at Macy’s and saw that Johnny Depp, an objectively terrible person, had endorsed a cologne called Dior Sauvage. [Note: This costs $95!] Intrigued by Depp’s rakish pirate looks in the in-store promotional displays, I stopped, spritzed one of those little paper strips, and inhaled. It smelled amazing — rich, spicy, dangerous. Exactly like a dad should smell.

I bought my dad the cologne, which he loved, and a year later, I was in the market for new cologne and bought it for myself. I continue to go on first dates with guys who tell me I smell amazing.

I am filled with shame.

—Casey Newton, Silicon Valley editor at The Verge

8Greens dietary supplement. 8Greens

8Greens dietary supplement, Min Jin Lee

I bought these 8Greens fizzy tablet supplements ($14) because I saw them on the Strategist three times under their “What [X celebrity] can’t live without” column. I love the Strategist, I love being told what to buy, and I will happily click on affiliate links. Anyway, I didn’t really care the first two times I saw these tablets because the recommendations came from Brooke Shields and Molly Sims. Brooke Shields has vouched for some shady products in the past, including those serums that are supposed to grow out your eyelashes but could spell big trouble for your eyes if it gets in there.

But the third time around, it was mentioned by Pachinko writer Min Jin Lee, and I was like, “You know this HBIC doesn’t play around when it comes to sensible goods.” Also, it was included on her list among other boring items like very thick socks and earplugs, so I felt like I could trust her.

I was vulnerable to purchases around this time because I was just on the edge of getting a cold, which is exactly what these tablets are good for. I haven’t taken them yet because I felt better by the time they arrived, but now I feel prepared for when I feel like I’m about to get sick.

—Dami Lee, tech reporter at The Verge

Kylie Cosmetics Lip Kit, Kylie Jenner

I bought a Kylie Lip Kit in college. [Note: This sentence was originally relayed in all caps.]

Candy K. I think it cost $29 plus shipping, which was, like, a full shift of my part-time job. I was enraptured by the idea of a lipstick that lasted all day, and Kylie’s Insta was the first time I had heard of matte liquid lipsticks. This was when they first launched and there were only a few colors, but they always sold out immediately, so I’m pretty sure I logged on during class to buy it [this phrase was also in all caps!] when she announced the next release.

But it turns out that to wear matte lipstick, your lips cannot be even a tiny bit chapped, and it dries them out even if they aren’t. So I hated it and am still confused about how it looks so good in pictures. Then I found out that her formula is basically the same as ColourPop’s and theirs cost, like, $6. But I didn’t even like it enough to buy any of those.

—Katie O’Brien, media publicist

Kim Kardashian West’s latest Kimoji perfumes. Kimoji

Kimoji perfume, Kim Kardashian West

At this point, I own three different Kimoji perfumes — the first one was a gift that I love, because 1) it’s a Kimoji heart and it’s genuinely adorable, and 2) it makes me smell like a cotton candy orgy. But then [Kardashian] stopped selling them and you can’t buy the Hearts series anymore, which made me anxious because I hate change.

When Kim released her next set, I bought the Kimoji Cherry perfume right away. It didn’t smell as good. Then I bought the Kimoji “vibes” perfume. It definitely didn’t smell as good.

Now I have three different Kimoji perfumes that I douse myself in sometimes before bed. They’re $45 each. I like to smell nice when I’m falling asleep, but also I just feel like a dumbass for spending so much money on Kim Kardashian fragrances. Perfumes last a long time. I’m going to smell like Kim well into my 30s.

I never watched Kim’s show but respected her as A Business. With recent Kanye events — since she’s married to him — and her becoming a weird PR mouthpiece for President Trump, I wouldn’t call myself a fan anymore. But she’s one of those people who’s too big to ignore because she has a hand in defining our larger pop culture.

Is she still a smart businesswoman? Absolutely. Am I complicit in a system of hero worship that has both helped fund her empire and given celebrities like her unprecedented political power? I reek of it, literally.

—Megan Farokhmanesh, culture reporter at The Verge

Merch from Kanye West’s 2016 Saint Pablo tour. sohosoles/eBay

Saint Pablo T-shirt, Kanye West

Kanye West made me spend $100 on a long sleeve Saint Pablo tour T-shirt. At least now I have something to wear when I go to a barbecue at my MAGA hat-wearing uncle’s house.

—James Rainis, music publicist

Marilyn Manson’s absinthe brand. Mansinthe

Mansinthe absinthe, Marilyn Manson

My ex and I once split the cost of a bottle of Marilyn Manson’s absinthe. It’s called “Mansinthe,” and it costs $66.66. I don’t like absinthe. I don’t even like Marilyn Manson! Still unsure as to why I did it. I think I’m very suggestible, or something about the idea of owning a whole bottle of absinthe appealed to me. For the record, we did drink all of it, but I still regret it.

It tasted like watery licorice. I felt like an idiot every time we took out the bottle and realized just how much it cost, but the good news was that it wasn’t exactly enjoyable to drink and also didn’t really get you drunk, so no one ever wanted more than one glass of it, and the bottle lasted us for, like, six months. So an okay investment, I guess? This was in college, and I would rank it as probably the second-worst investment I ever made in college, right after buying a pet snake.

—Shay Collins, information specialist at Cornell

Michael Jordan visiting his alma mater in North Carolina. Streeter Lecka/Getty Images

Undergraduate degree at the University of North Carolina, Michael Jordan

I went to the wrong college. [Cost: $55,000 in student loans]

—James Dator, producer at SB Nation

Martinelli’s apple juice, Aziz Ansari

I started drinking Martinelli’s after I saw Aziz Ansari talking about how good it was [on Master of None]. A few months after, I realized, “Huh, this isn’t discernibly tastier than regular apple juice, a beverage I’d never purchase. Over the course of, like, three months [I probably spent] approximately $90. They’re, like, three bucks a pop and I drank it semi-regularly.

I feel a little silly because I could have been drinking cheap-ass Minute Maid apple juice the whole time or, better yet, going with a beverage that isn’t so rich in sugar. But it’s not a steep enough purchase that I’m full-on embarrassed, which isn’t a coincidence. I don’t think I’d buy anything really high-stakes based on celebrity persuasion. [Note: Congratulations!]

—Charles Bramesco, freelance writer

Victoria Beckham at a book signing in 2001. Anthony Harvey/Getty Images

Asymmetrical bob, Victoria Beckham

I spent years and [lots of money] getting and maintaining the Victoria Beckham asymmetrical bob (you know the one) in middle school. For years, I lived in shame for having fallen prey to such an aggressively heinous fad and for having ruined five years’ worth of photos, but now I feel proud to have stanned one of our living icons in her earlier, tackier years. She also has one of the best celebrity memoirs, which I spent money on. Also, earlier this year I considered purchasing a watermelon cake, which she posted on her Instagram for her birthday. VB forever, one of our best celebrities for two decades strong.

—Tamar McCollom, publishing assistant

[embedded content]

Oakley sunglasses, Tom Cruise

I 100 percent asked for Oakley sunglasses for Hanukkah [at age 11] because Tom Cruise wore them in Mission Impossible 2. I think they were, like, $80. They were really expensive for kids’ sunglasses. Then I realized I looked like a dumbass and basically never wore them.

—Seth Rosenthal, writer at SB Nation

I am not trying to embarrass my friends. I only copped to having bought the Lorde sneakers, but quite honestly, there are so many celebrities whose taste and opinions I have cared about deeply for all of my adult life that I can no longer see where I end and they begin. I can tell you some things I almost bought at the urging of famous people, because most of these almost-purchases still live in my Chrome bookmarks, for another day when I’m weaker and needier and have a lot more discretionary income.

—Randy’s Donuts gray hoodie (price unlisted, and you can only order them over the phone?) because Harry Styles was photographed wearing one on July 4, 2016.

—Calvin Klein Eternity perfume ($73) because Jake Gyllenhaal was announced as the face of the campaign in October 2017, and I spent one calendar year of my life writing a weekly newsletter about him at no one’s request and for no money or acclaim.

—Airfare to Atlanta ($500) to visit 2 Chainz’s Haunted Pink Trap House ($65) and buy a souvenir T-shirt on which 2 Chainz is styled as Freddy Krueger ($30), because I love Halloween, I love spectacle, I love Wes Craven, and I love this iconic photo of Lil Wayne having to stand on top of a couch to get up high enough to put 2 Chainz’s tuxedo jacket on him at his wedding. He’s so tall!

—Kim Kardashian’s coffee table book of selfies ($23) because someone on Twitter — who has a lot of followers and a handful of New Yorker bylines — said that if Kim were to photograph herself naked every day until she was 90 years old, it would “actually” be really important performance art.

—A smiley face manicure (approximately $50) from Los Angeles nail artist Britney Tokyo because Playboi Carti has it and it makes him look rich and whimsical.

I don’t need any of these things, but typing them out, I still want them. What I love about Seth’s Mission Impossible story is that it has exactly the same logic as all the other stories, except it took place when he was a child. Buying something because a celebrity says so is childish — a doofy decision-making process based on nothing except whim and delusion of grandeur and failure to have a solid opinion of one’s own. And it’s really fun!

It’s also — as I hope these anecdotes illustrate — very hard to predict, and brands should not try.

Original Source -> Lorde’s Adidas sneakers, Marilyn Manson’s absinthe, and other things celebrities compelled us to buy

via The Conservative Brief

[melindarowens]

How to beat Roy Moore

The following newsletter is an abridged version of Campaign Pro’s Morning Score. For an earlier morning read on exponentially more races — and for a more comprehensive aggregation of the day’s most important campaign news — sign up for Campaign Pro today. (http://www.politicopro.com/proinfo)

DAILY ROLL TIDE — “How to beat Roy Moore, according to the guy who nearly did,” by Campaign Pro’s Daniel Strauss: “Democrats haven’t won a statewide election in Alabama in almost a decade. But in 2012, one Democrat almost pulled it off: Bob Vance, a mild-mannered circuit court judge from Birmingham who came within 4 points of beating none other than Roy Moore. Now Democrats are looking back at that state Supreme Court contest for clues on how their Senate nominee, former U.S. Attorney Doug Jones, might improve slightly upon Vance’s performance and stage a special election upset in a state long seen as out of reach to the party. … ‘He’s very divisive even within the Republican Party,’ Vance said of Moore. ‘That’s why I agreed to run against him.’ He added: ‘I knew there were a lot of establishment Republicans who couldn’t stomach Roy Moore.'” Full story.

Story Continued Below

— “Alabama secretary of state gets pro-Jones digital ad pulled,” by Strauss: “An ad produced by the pro-Doug Jones super PAC Highway 31 has been removed from YouTube after Alabama Secretary of State John Merrill’s office decided the spot included ‘incorrect or inaccurate information intent on confusing voters.’ … In a statement, the secretary of state’s office said: ‘Reports from several sources indicate a targeted effort to misinform and confuse voters regarding whether an individual’s voting record would be available to the public. No individual voting record is made available to anyone at anytime, including the voter who cast the ballot.'” The ad can be viewed here. Full story.

On Thursday afternoon, Highway 31 Executive Director Adam Muhlendorf released a statement: “We are in contact with Google to ensure the ad runs through Election Day. The fact of the matter remains that John Merrill is inferring an intent that is simply not true.”

— A new ad from Jones’ campaign pushes back on attacks from Moore’s campaign that the former U.S. attorney is against “strong borders and a secure military.” The new 30-second ad also says Moore is lying about Jones’ position on abortion.

RETIREMENT WATCH — “Rep. Trent Franks to resign after discussing surrogacy with female staffers,” by POLITICO’s Rachael Bade, Kyle Cheney, and Elena Schneider: “Rep. Trent Franks (R-Ariz.) announced Thursday that he would resign from office as of Jan. 31, 2018, after discussing surrogacy issues with female staffers. ‘I have recently learned that the Ethics Committee is reviewing an inquiry regarding my discussion of surrogacy with two previous female subordinates, making each feel uncomfortable,’ he said in a statement. ‘I deeply regret that my discussion of this option and process in the workplace caused distress.’ … Franks is the third lawmaker to announce plans to resign this week as the furor over sexual misconduct and harassment sweeps Capitol Hill. He will be the first Republican to vacate his post amid the growing scandal.” Full story.

— IN MINNESOTA — “Franken resigns,” by POLITICO’s Elana Schor and Seung Min Kim: “Sen. Al Franken said on Thursday that he would resign after seven women came forward in recent weeks and said he groped or tried to forcibly kiss them, capping a stunning fall from grace for one of the Democratic Party’s most popular and high-profile politicians. … ‘I, of all people, am aware that there is some irony in the fact that I am leaving while a man who has bragged on tape about his history of sexual assault sits in the Oval Office and a man who has repeatedly preyed on young girls campaigns for the Senate with the full support of his party,’ Franken said.” Full story.

— “Sen. Al Franken to leave U.S. Senate, says he can no longer be effective,” by The Minnesota Star Tribune’s Jennifer Brooks and Maya Rao: Gov. Mark Dayton “is expected to appoint a replacement soon. A Democratic source told the Star Tribune that Dayton is likely to appoint Lt. Gov. Tina Smith, and that she is not expected to run in the special election. But other ambitious [members of the Democratic–Farmer–Labor Party] are likely to be interested or at least be considered. In a statement issued after Franken’s speech, Dayton said, ‘I expect to make and announce my decision in the next couple days.'” Full story.

— IN NEVADA — “Democrat Kihuen hanging on despite harassment claim,” by POLITICO’s Heather Caygle: “House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi won’t call for a primary challenger to take on Nevada Rep. Ruben Kihuen, despite saying the freshman Democrat should resign due to sexual harassment allegations. ‘This is not about politics. That’s the last thing this is about,’ Pelosi said Thursday in response to questions about Kihuen, who has refused demands from party leaders to step down. The Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee did not respond to requests for comment on whether it would fund a primary challenger against Kihuen. The campaign arm has, however, removed Kihuen from its ‘Frontline’ program, which prioritizes funding for vulnerable members.” Full story.

— Former Rep. Cresent Hardy reconsidering another run for NV-04, by the Nevada Independent’s Luz Gray: Hardy, a Republican, “says he’s considering running for the Nevada congressional seat he lost last year to embattled Democratic Rep. Ruben Kihuen, who’s facing an allegation of sexual harassment and calls to resign. Hardy told The Nevada Independent on Wednesday that people are continuing to ‘push me very hard to reconsider’ his decision, announced in July, that he wouldn’t run in the 2018 election cycle.” Full story.

Days until the 2018 election: 333

Thanks for joining us! You can email tips to the Campaign Pro team at sbland@politico.com, eschneider@politico.com, krobillard@politico.com, dstrauss@politico.com and mseverns@politico.com.

You can also follow us on Twitter: @politicoscott, @ec_schneider, @politicokevin, @danielstrauss4 and @maggieseverns.

IT’S OFFICIAL — “Bredesen makes Senate bid official,” by Campaign Pro’s Kevin Robillard: “Former Tennessee Gov. Phil Bredesen is running for U.S. Senate, he announced [Thursday]. Bredesen’s entrance into the race makes Tennessee a potential top-tier Senate contest in 2018. He’ll face Army veteran James Mackler for the Democratic nomination. Rep. Marsha Blackburn and former Rep. Stephen Fincher are competing for the GOP nomination.” Full story.

— Following Bredesen’s decision to jump into the Democratic primary, the opposition research group American Bridge is starting to aggressively focus on the state. The group is planning to put a tracker on Blackburn and already has almost 100 hours of footage and over 1,600 pages of research on her, per Bridge spokesman Josh Karp.

DEMS ON FRANKEN — “Why Democrats had to dump Franken,” by POLITICO’s Edward-Isaac Dovere: “A year into Donald Trump’s presidency, many voters still don’t know what Democrats stand for — so at the very least, party leaders reluctantly decided, they better take a stand against sexual harassment. Especially when they’re going to need a huge turnout among women to do what now still seems like a reach, but six months ago seemed impossible: flip the House and maybe even the Senate, and rally in races for governor and state legislature across the country next year. … Beyond the White House’s dismissal of the women who’d gone public with accusations against Trump, Democratic leaders know that within a week, they’re likely to have a Senate without Franken but including Roy Moore, despite allegations of preying on children and being banned from a mall over his alleged pursuit of teenage girls.” Full story.

COWBOY STATE DEMOCRAT — Businessman Gary Trauner, a Democrat, is running for Senate in Wyoming. In his announcement video Trauner stresses the importance of “getting big money out of politics.” Watch the video here. Trauner is hoping to beat Sen. John Barrasso.

REMEMBER GILMORE? — “Anybody but Corey Stewart? Virginia GOP looks for others to run against Sen. Kaine,” by The Washington Post’s Jenna Portnoy and Laura Vozzella: “As Virginia Republicans gather Friday for their annual retreat, party leaders are alarmed at the possibility of fielding Corey Stewart as next year’s U.S. Senate nominee, and with help from the national GOP, they are maneuvering to recruit someone else to be the face of the party. … Sen. Cory Gardner (Colo.), chairman of the National Republican Senatorial Committee, recently summoned former Gov. James S. Gilmore III to Washington to ask him to run, while Sens. Rand Paul (Ky.) and Mike Lee (Utah) met with Del. Nick Freitas (Culpeper) to advise him on a likely campaign.” Full story.

RSLC MEMO — A new memo from the Republican State Leadership Committee pushes back on the argument that Democrats have the wind at their backs in state-level elections: “Lost in the Democrat catharsis of Nov. 7 statewide wins in New Jersey and Virginia and its aftermath have been several notable Republican state-level wins. … Just this week, Republican Sen.-Elect Dean Tran, flipped a seat in Massachusetts that had been Democrat-held since 1974. In fact, Democrats’ narrowest margin of victory during that time was 18 percent. Both President [Barack] Obama and Hillary Clinton carried the district in recent presidential elections. Tran will become the only Vietnamese-American in the Massachusetts Legislature and marks the 11th newly elected Republican state legislator this year identified through either the RSLC’s Future Majority Project, which supports candidates from diverse communities like Tran, or our Right Women, Right Now initiative that supports new female Republican candidates for office.” Full memo here.

QUOTE OF THE DAY: “The establishment that’s supporting Pritzker wants us to not worry about Pritzker’s electability” in a general election. — Illinois state Sen. Daniel Biss on Democratic gubernatorial rival J.B. Pritzker

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